#our ship abusive

[lightlavenders]

for instance i feel like a valid criticism of she ra is that it uses its war as a narrative backdrop that it doesn't take seriously or flesh out very deeply. which doesn't ruin my enjoyment of the show (because the show is not "about" the war!!) but it exposes cracks in the writing from time to time. however saying that, this is a show intended for children and teens to teach them about love and self worth and queerness so I think it's really up to each viewer how seriously they wanna take the war aspect given it never intended to go that deeply into the concept.

apparently some people wanted to take that aspect very very seriously!! and thats okay because critical thinking about a text is a good skill to have!! yay for sure!!

#apparently the critical thinking only goes so far #sorry no one even cares about this discourse anymore but me #the weird catra fans vs hordak fans discourse #why can't we coexist. theyre both compelling characters #it's so weird i can't #as a die hard hordak fan I believe some of yall are only saying catradora is abusive because you're insecure that their fans will call #our ship abusive #neither are. use your brain. #entrapdak #entrapta #hordak #she ra #spop #she ra and the princesses of power

[laceratedlamiaceae]

Our Flag Means Death - Red Flags // Ethel Cain - Western Nights

#our flag means death #ofmd #izzy hands #edward teach #blackhands #edizzy #<- not in the sense that i'm shipping them but in the sense that it's about their relationship #it's a song about being devoted to the man abusing you just like izzy is with ed #gifset #ofmdedit #ofmd season 2 #ofmd season 2 spoilers #ofmd s2 #ofmd s2 spoilers

[rosieshipper]

Because I’ve been seeing a lot of them lately I would like to rehash this because it’s getting fucking annoying at this point

PROSHITTERS👏🏻STOP👏🏻INSERTING👏🏻YOURSELVES👏🏻INTO👏🏻SELFSHIP👏🏻SPACES👏🏻

Stop trying to justify your shitty problematic ships and bringing them into our spaces. This community is not for you go fuck off elsewhere

#i’m getting tired of this #proshitters need to get out of our space #take your creepy pedo/incest/abusive shit elsewhere #anti proshitter #proshitters dni #fuck proshitters #fuck proshippers #self shipping #self ship #selfshipping #self ship community #self insert #selfship community #f/o

[theamazingannie]

The Darkling told Alina, “I will strip away all that you know, all that you love, until you have no shelter but me” and people still ship them as if they have some great romantic connection and not a classic abusive relationship

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone spoilers #anti darklina #idk how anyone ships them #i except this behavior from late 2000s/early 2010s fandom #cuz all our ships were problematic af #but It’s 2023 #Im genuinely concerned about you guys #please recognize the signs of abuse and please stop romanticizing them

[fishhuh]

Done Izzy ranting for tonight, you can find me in the Izzy/Lucius ao3 tags where they actually respect Izzy's character and acknowledge what Edward did to him o7

#ofmd #sprizzy #izzy hands #lucius spriggs #obviously other izzy ship tags on ao3 do this too I'm just in the lucius corner lol #I know I sound like hella snarky and mean rn but God I'm so done pretending that I'm okay with how Edward was portrayed #like he abused izzy. he abused the crew. and disregarding that is also doing Edward a disservice #becuase it doesn't let him have any chance of redemption if you just skirt around and excuse his actions #bluragh whatever #izzys in our hands now we will treat him better #my posts #izzy deserved better

[anti--transid]

I am fucking begging for radqueers to leave former radqueers alone, "anti harassment" is a fucking lie, radqueers are taking the ex radqueer label and trying to make it about themselves.

Leave former radqueers alone and get help, holy fucking shit.

[pt: Leave former radqueers alone and get help, holy fucking shit. /end pt]

The way radqueers treat former radqueers makes their little "anti harassment" bullshit an absolute lie, next thing you know, they'll probably try to co-opt my fucking flags, they've done it with other flags before, I don't put it past them to do it again.

-Evergreen, she/her, Magiceri, shy/it/neos

#i usually dont crosstag but im fucking pissed #our host had some really nasty flashbacks last night and fell back into the behaviours she was groomed into having #radqueer #rq 🌈🍓 #tw radqueer #tw radqueers once again being fucking horrible about abuse survivors #anti radqueer #anti ship #anti trace #anti transabled #anti transage #anti transid #anti transx #anti transautistic #former radqueer

[varyathevillain]

one thing I definitely don't want out of the rest of S2 episodes, and afraid that will come to happen nonetheless due to the "love triangle" interview, or due to stereotypic expectations of "softer love saving from past abuse and toxicity", and also, like, LOTS OF SPOILERY STILLS for the episodes premiering tomorrow... is for Izzy Hands to come out of his fucked up dependent toxic love for Ed into another romantic relationship, especially if it includes Edward.

I want Izzy Hands to be developed as a character, to finally untangle his love towards Ed/Blackbeard, not through falling in love again... but through the love towards the crew, and of them towards him. I want for the trauma pack of attempted Ed Teach murderers to bond, not so hard it's impossible to untangle them from one another, but enough to see "yeah, all these people are together, and they're gonna stay shoulder to shoulder to protect one another".

I want a friend group that did bond through a traumatic experience, but came out trusting one another because of care, not trauma. I want that to be the crux of Israel Hands' development, to be someone who can finally see himself apart from Edward Teach, and apart from "this love he has", like a disease... I want him to embrace what he has yet refused to admit. that he wants to care for his people, his crew, and to be cared for back equally, without any dynamics of power in the way.

#brought to you by aromantic person who thinks coming out of a romantic attraction into another one would just switch gears for Izzy #and not actually like. have him understand that he doesn't have to nurse that shit in his chest and needs to move on #also i want season 2 end on a positive note of Frenchie SOME FUCKING HOW stealing a ship for them #where everyone goes 'yup! Izzy deserves to be captain and have fun' and the lot of them sail off on an adventure... on The Adventure :P #OFMD spoilers #OFMD S2 spoilers #Izzy Hands #Varya rambles #OFMD #Our Flag Means Death #no offense to Steddyhands shippers I just think 'the healing power of romantic love' even if poly SUCKS after a recent toxic relationship #ending after physical and mental abuse for TWO PEOPLE of that pairing. yeah it would be fantastically fucked up #and go ahead if you want that in fic or show like FULL SPEED AHEAD. great dynamic. not for me and not now #text post

[nostalgia-tblr]

one of the best Fandom Discourse Topics is the one about how this female character i have minimal to no interest in is TOO GOOD for my male blorbo. she can do MUCH BETTER he's A CRAP BOYFRIEND and so that's why he has to be paired with my other male blorbo, who lacks The One Braincell and thus will believe himself to be in a wholesome loving relationship in the endless fluffy fanfic i will read/write about him and BLORBO, THE WORST POSSIBLE CHOICE for that female character.

obviously i ship her with this woman she interacted with in one scene, who is also SUCH A QUEEN YASSSSSS. god i love this wholesome lesbian ship between these two women who probably don't even know each other's full names <3 <3 <3 i might even hit reblog on a gifset of their one scene together someday. i probably won't, but i might.

so anyway back to blorbo and how amazing he is, i bet he'd be a great boyfriend for this other white guy.

#this is not a fandom-specific complaint (in case you were wondering) #there's an essay to be written about the increasing use of surface-level-progressive ways to get rid of the women in our fandoms. #like really. it shows that we know we shouldn't be doing it but we don't actually want to stop so let's just say they're lesbians. #BONUS POINTS - this means anyone shipping her with a man is now automatically homophobic :D #at this point i personally feel like it might just be best to ignore the women entirely if you have no real interest in them? #because the pretending does tend to look performative and like you want to make other fans problematic so you can 'win' by default #fandom wank #god forbid a fictional woman want that absolute waste of space ugly abusive bastard who i love more than life itself!!

[thegroundhogdidit]

oh when people said that ed is babygirl they really meant it in the "he's hot so all his crimes are okay" way actually. and i agree regularly like i can forgive the murder but maybe we should talk about the domestic abuse here like. he tried to make his most loyal follower and lover commit murder-suicide. hey no wait can we talk about this? murdering nameless extras is one thing but that's your husband? come back i'm serious trying to justify it with "izzy deserved it" is fucked up and cruel actually?? is that what you tell your friend whose husband hits her??? i don't think ed is irredeemable and he shouldn't be because it's ofmd but it wasn't really handled thoughtfully i don't think??

#please i'm so tired of the 'izzy deserved it' takes because um. no. he deserved getting punched in s1. he didn't deserve mutilation #and the abuse was pretty one-sided if you think about it #ed is still my babygirl but babygirl needed to be held accountable for those actions specifically and he wasn't #our flag means death #ofmd #edward teach #edizzy #listen i love fucked up ships when both sides are fucked (like anne/mary) but this is. hoo boy

[wadinginthevelvet]

sorry but I love the Izzy “dangling my legs over the side of the ship” scene because like. he’s literally right. it DOES serve him right.

Ed was deeply heartbroken but coping healthily until Izzy got in his head & made him feel like all he deserved was destruction. Ed TRUSTED Izzy, and this person who he felt knew him & saw him & cared about him essentially confirming in his view that he doesn’t deserve good things and only has worth as a monster— that being soft was worse for him than being dead— made him feel that he truly was unloveable and shoved him over the edge into the Kraken persona. plus Izzy ASKED him to be violent! he grinned when he cut off his toe! the beginning of s2 is Izzy realizing that a. Ed is not actually happy as Blackbeard and is in fact destroying himself and b. Izzy himself has grown to care for this crew in a way he didn’t realize he had and maybe actually has some human empathy. and doesn’t want them to be brutalized. which I honestly don’t think he had a handle on before it was too late & he’d already set them up for this level of violence. and also clearly he did NOT know Ed in the way he thought he did! he didn’t realize he cared about the crew like that, but he also didn’t think Kraken-Ed would be that intense. he thought that horrible pep talk was what Ed needed to get back to being pre-Stede Blackbeard, not realizing that pre-Stede Blackbeard was a facade Ed was already deeply unhappy and insecure underneath, but also failing to comprehend (or even notice) the extent of Ed’s trauma and lack of self-worth and the fairly obvious (to anyone who actually knew or understood Ed) fact that telling him those things would shatter his very fragile belief that he deserved these tenuous but brave attempts at taking care of himself and trying to become who he wanted to be. Kraken-Ed was not who Izzy thought he would trigger when he gave him the talk, because he didn’t actually know or understand him like he thought he did. & that’s what he’s coming to terms with in s2 and it is a wonderful arc! lots of people have written fantastic metas about Izzy & his motivations and the complexity of his realization that he didn’t know Ed like he though he did & wasn’t close to him like he thought he was so I won’t bother to fully go into that here as interesting as it is. but like.. he asked for violence & he got it. he didn’t have a good handle on his own feelings about the crew/piracy and he evidently had zero handle on Ed’s (he is masterful at suppression but isn’t emotionally intelligent enough to be able to tell Ed is too), and while yeah it was Ed’s trauma and whole brutal career as a pirate and this glimpse at a different future and Stede’s betrayal all coming together to cause Ed’s eventual breakdown, Izzy’s talk is what made him give up and pushed him overboard into the Kraken era. he convinced him he was worthless if he wasn’t a monster, & in doing so unleashed that monster onto himself and the crew. he taunted the shark and lost a leg. I don’t think there’s anything unhealthy about him framing it like that— he isn’t suppressing his feelings about it or pretending it didn’t happen— he’s just processing & accepting the truth of the matter. when Lucius says Blackbeard cut off his leg and Izzy says “a shark did this”, he’s acknowledging it wasn’t really Ed who shot him, but a violent, hopeless, actively suicidal caricature of Blackbeard, a monster Izzy helped create. Izzy isn’t Ed’s victim— they’re an eye for an eye now. and I’m glad he acknowledged it like that

#lucius’s situation literally could not be more different!! #he really is a victim! #and that’s why they have to cope in different ways! #also sorry if he’s your babygirl & you think ed abused him or whatever but like. not sure what show you’ve been watching #he is such an interesting character precisely because of his terrible mistakes and deep entrenchment in harmful ideals!!! #that’s what makes his development this season so fun! not because he was always a poor little meow meow who deserved the world or something #sure sure he’s babygirl but not because he was a good guy that dude sucked! and isn’t that way more interesting! #he’s so fucked up and that is way more fun. #let him be your evil babygirl. your babygirl who lost his leg & kind of fucking deserved it. and now gets to be a genre shifted babygirl #he can learn & grow & become a better person & get forgiven because that’s what happens in this show! that’s what happens on this ship! #and now he gets to be a muppet <3 #anyways. #our flag means death #izzy hands #lucius spriggs #ed teach #blackbeard #blackhands #edizzy #ofmd #ofmd season 2 #ofmd s2 #ofmd spoilers #ofmd s2 spoilers #ofmd 2x01 #ofmd 2x02 #ofmd 2x03 #ofmd 2x04 #ofmd 2x05 #ofmd meta

[candied-cae]

I've been trying to figure out how to say it for weeks, but:

The title of the show being "Our Flag Means Death" + Lucius's Line "What if it's not a Death? What if life just begins again?" = The Revenge has always been, and will always be, a safe haven for her crew.

All those aboard are not held to the rules of their lives before, they are not pushed to fulfill expectations or assumptions or pressures from the rest of the world.

They are allowed to sing and dance and laugh and cry and create and love and be every little bit of themselves that they've ever been scared to be within her walls. When they board her deck, when they hoist her flag, when they accept their role as a member of her crew - she carries a promise.

A promise, that under her flag, their lives may begin again anew.

Her Flag Means Death, but a Death only to what was and a Beginning to what could be.

More OFMD

#The METAPHORS IN THIS SHOW- #MY FUCKING GOD THEY ARE INCREDIBLE #Idk if this is a take anyone's said before #I haven't read it #but I've been trying to figure out how to word the way that line feels to me #Like - it's so incredibly important that the title of the show is 'Our Flag Means Death' #And Lucius's line is one of the only ones that actually use the word 'Death' #And as the Flag is meant to represent the ship and it's people #If their flag means death - this is the sort of death it means #I mean - from the very beginning Stede has only ever wanted to make something good from piracy #To build a ship that's different than all the others #When another pirate's flag means Death - it means they will perform cruelty just as is expected #But Stede's ship was never meant to perform expectation #She was meant to be her own kind - and she serves as a shelter for her crew from the usual systems of abuse they otherwise face #She is their port to weather a storm #She is the Death to everything before and the Life to everything left #She is their new beginning #Our Flag Means Death #Our Flag Means Death Spoilers #ofmd #ofmd spoilers #hbo #Our Flag Means Death Analysis #Our Flag Means Death Meta #Our Flag Means Death Symbolism #Lucius Spriggs #The Revenge

[armoralor]

my favourite irony of the current shipping discussion is the folks who allege WolfWren enjoyers sent “threats” to people who enjoy cishet ships (I have asked for ANY examples or usernames of anyone doing this multiple times), have also been calling for Filoni to suffer & die if he doesn’t make their ship canon. but don’t forget, it’s definitely the sapphics and queers who like WolfWren that are the problem

#queer nbs & women get harassed for MONTHS by sabezra stans: [complete silence & all the major sabezra blogs still interact with those folks] #wolfwren gets a little love from the cast: “UMMM ACTUALLY THIS SHIP WAR IS SO TOXIC NOW AND THE WOLFWRENS ARE THE PEOPLE THREATENING OTHERS #are there wolfwren fans that suck? probably. & if you would like us to do something about it please give us examples and show us who #so we can make sure we aren’t supporting ANYONE sending threats and hate. #I’ve even seen wolfwren shippers giving sabezra shippers advice on blocking IPs + turning on stronger privacy settings #but where the fuck were Sabezra shippers when other Sabezra stans were talking about rape + murder + abuse in queer peoples posts? #I have about more than 20 examples of disgusting vile HATE (actual hate & not “haha RIP this ship) that I’ve been directly sent #multiple wolfwren fic writers have had to turn off their comments on fics because of homophobic hate #artists have been getting dumb shitty homophobic comments on their wolfwren art with “gay garbage!!! Sabezra of life!!!” #and I’m not seeing anyone calling out sabezras as a whole for being bad toxic people (which no one should because they aren’t) #do you understand & feel the hypocrisy now? #I have no doubt there are “mean” WolfWren fans that are saying silly shit like “hahah we won” and “our ship is better” #and yeah! That’s mean. HOWEVER it is not fucking harassment or the same as “fuck this LGBT shit” #and it’s wrong that queer sabezra stans are being harassed too- there is way too much biphobia & homophobia in this whole fucking fandom #but let’s not act like being called homophobic is the same as suffering under homophobia #and let’s not forget that queer people are capable of being homophobic themselves by perpetuating harm #thank you for coming to my TEDtalk #text

[black-salt-cage]

Junko Enoshima x Mukuro Ikusaba (Danganronpa) moodboard

ଘ(੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚ for anon!

#💙 sugar life posting 🌙 #@ our stalker hope you're enjoying the show you secret lil degen you <3 why else would you be obsessed with this acc? #requests #sibcest #sibling x sibling ship #shipping #ships #ship #proship #proship positive #proship safe #sister x sister ship #siscest #siscon #sibcon #abusive ship #incest ship #toxic ship #Danganronpa #despaircest #Junko x Mukuro #Junko Enoshima x Mukuro Ikusaba

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

[cws: non-detailed discussion of both fictional and irl SA/CSA/abuse dynamics, apologia for the previous, homophobia, fetishization of wlw, and anti rhetoric.]

-

having a lot of thoughts about the wider fandom's treatment of the various abuse dynamics present in sdmi--supposedly in the name of being anti-abuse--and how instead it's propagated deeply anti-survivor/abuse apologist sentiment and behavior through where they choose to apply that rhetoric, and where they choose to look the other way.

(first off, if you're someone who does not and has not done this, thank you from the bottom of my heart. second, this is not at all exhaustive of my feelings on the subject and there will probably be more posts about these dynamics and people's behavior toward them in future. as you can imagine by the length of this post that is saying something lmao)

one of the reasons i feel as strongly as i do about the way both canon and fandom have historically been about pericles, pericky, and shitting on anyone who likes them because it Normalizes Abuse(tm), is that their fans are pretty open and emphatic about the fact that it's Fucked Up. it's why we find it compelling. it is vanishingly rare that we don't.

meanwhile, velma is the UwU Cute Sassy Lesbian Icon whose relationship with shaggy was Cringy and Immature (and mutually so 🙃) at worst, when it directly mirrored such visceral aspects of my experience with CSA that i almost threw up rewatching the second episode.

and that's not even getting into how normalized it is for women to abuse men in a relationship, in broad fucking daylight in front of other people, and how men are supposed to Always Want It and it's an insult if they don't, and how the vast majority of CSA--which it overtly is in shaggy's case, he is implied not to be an adult yet--is perpetrated by other kids.

and it's also not getting into the fact that the ~cute lesbian relationship~ is almost certainly going to end up with the other queer girl in the show also being abused, because abusers are not Magically Cured by True Queer Love's Kiss. how it is incredibly difficult for survivors of abuse in a wlw relationship to be acknowledged or get support because then they'd be a Traitor, or people would rather maintain the feel-good fuzzy feelings wlw exist to give them, or they're closeted and it's not safe to let people know they're in a relationship with a woman. how queer relationships, especially between women, are fetishized as cute pure healthy fairytale romances and not dynamics involving real people who might harm each other or be harmed and need help.

and that's not even getting into the fact that mlm are seen as inherently predatory to an extent that the majority of other queer identities are not. how older queer men grooming boys is a classic homophobic stereotype used to justify violence toward them, up to and including lynchings, and how that is the abuse dynamic everyone in the show and fandom latched onto to revile as the Disgusting Evil Predatory One while giving everything else a pass. how mlm have a long history of forced institutionalization and psychiatric torture and abuse, and the Predatory Gay Man is subjected to decades of--you guessed it!--forced institutionalization and psychiatric torture and abuse, which is framed as what he deserved and where he belonged. how he's supposed to be unattractive (and the majority of the people who do this shit lean hard on that), while people are way more likely to give Charming Attractive Aesthetically Pleasing abusers a pass.

this is just..... normal, to the fandom. it's treated as completely normal. and i think that's a whole lot more fucking harmful than finding emotional catharsis in exploring an abusive dynamic that would not fly in broad daylight irl in a million years.

#sdmi #scooby doo: mystery incorporated #professor pericles #velma dinkley #shaggy rogers #SDMItag #cws in post #like. everything about shaggy and velma's dynamic in and related to the first half of S1 is *gutwrenching* #it took me up until this rewatch to realize why every time i try to rewatch the show in linear order i can never seem to watch past E02 #and end up just skipping around #and time and personal experience have *really* made the 'fairytale queer romance that is a missing stair right into a bottomless pit' #thing hit harder #whereas exploring pericky when i was younger *made me realize things about their relationship were abuse that i hadn't understood before* #'okay so if i go back and fix *this* part that'll make it not abusive anymore and they can be happ--oh. oh geez. this goes deep doesn't it' #and the people who don't like pericky will do the opposite and *actively claim the abuse dynamics that are there do not exist* #because Then It Would Be Shipping and That's Just Gross UwU #because 'this can't have been [X kind of abuse] because [X abuse] is Gross and its potential existence near me makes me uncomfortable' #'you're the one who's gross for seeing it and pointing it out; ew how dare you ruin people's day by making them think about that' #'thank goodness it didn't happen and we can all move on with our lives (and you won't like what happens if you dare bring it up again)' #isn't. you know. famously a thing that happens all the time to gaslight and silence survivors irl and take our words away from us lol #anyway as you can maybe imagine i am bitter about this lmao #but also i just generally think it's worth talking about; especially if even one person understands their own experiences better for it #the crit files #the salt files #SDMIcrit tag #pericky #dyn: when i die i want you to die too

[theophagie]

There was a point some years ago when a wave of the cmbyn age gap discourse and the giomis age gap discourse happened at the same time and I remember looking at both like this

#italy always at the scene of the crime #i didn't go there (cmbyn) bc the movie just didn't appeal to me in the first place but the giomis discourse was. is. so funny #won't someone save the dangerous gang leader #won't someone Please save the dangerous gang leader from his subordinate that's 2.5 years older than him please #ok but fr. there were people calling us a country of child abusers because of our age of consent. over ProblematicTM ships ajdfjfkgjgk #''yassified organised crime story about a country that's plagued by it irl :) age gap between two characters who could be classmates >:('' #mytext

[queerplatonicpolysho]

"proship dni (you're an abuse apologist)"???? this just in. not caring what people like in fiction is the exact same as being an abuse apologist. i am very smart /s

#GIRLIE I AM A VICTIM OF ABUSE. INCLUDING CSA #vent #shipping discourse #sorry i'm so fucking mad #how fucking *dare* you call us an abuse apologist when we are still financially dependent on one of our abusers #HOW FUCKING *DARE* YOU CALL US AN ABUSE APOLOGIST WHEN WE HAVE CPTSD AND DID FROM BEING ABUSED #am.text