#pain. suffering. agony even

[strawbsonmars]

#pain. suffering. agony even #kishigo #tokyo mew mew #tmm #ichigo momomiya #mew ichigo #kish #kisshu #quiche

[thevoiceofdesertbluffs]

I JUST REALIZED I FUXKING FORGOT CHARLES' FACIAL HAIR it's ok it's ok i can just pretend he shaved i am pretending he shaved IT'S FINE IT'S FINE I'M FINE (is actually dying)

#goosey rambles #pain. suffering. agony even #I FEEL SO DUMB I HAD IT ON THE SKETCH I JUST WAS SO FOCUSED ON BODY HAIR I FORGOT HIS FACIAL HAIR #AUUUGN *COMBUSTS*

[amemesiella]

happy birthday, mellow! I hope you're having the loveliest of lovely days! I haven't watched the pizza stream yet (lost track of time playing fire emblem three houses for the fiftieth time) but I'm... now somewhat hesitant yet morbidly curious as to how he's gone about this. he didn't knead the dough?? oh dear. anyway, wishing you all the best!! -Luma :D

hi ozzy!! thank you so much!! i hope you're having a lovely day too!! i'm currently waiting for hades to finish downloading (my birthday present to myself LOL) so i can finally play gay greek mythology game, finally

also ozzy. ozzy ozzy ozzy ozzy. luma my beloved. he didn't fucking knEAD THE DOUGH. I AM UPSET. HE JUST KNEADED AT IT LIKE A CAT AND FLATTENED IT. THAT GLUTEN IS JUST DEAD IN THAT PIZZA. THAT CRUST IS JUST THICK AND DENSE AND SAD AND IM SLDKMFLSKEJKLDJF AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

#memes.asks #a wild luma appears! #pain. suffering. agony even #it was thin crust though so it might have been saved by that but still sldkfjslkdjfkld #not to mention rt almost putting in dry flour in a hot oven #and the oven not being preheated when the pizza went in #there was just a lot going on #but thank you for the birthday wish luma i wish you the best too :]]

[inkskinned]

the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.

sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.

you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.

it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.

but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.

they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.

they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.

barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.

and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.

but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.

they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!

this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.

#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone #yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post. #writeblr #ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person #and on this blog we support workers. #at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going. #when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens #have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists #and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like. #it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases - #at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory. #it was what i had seen. #and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference #we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol' #so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender #and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID. #he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different #i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.

[lynxxfield]

the worms in my brain demand friday night funkin art

#friday night funkin #fridaynightfunkin #fnf pico #fnf fanart #fnf #new grounds #newgrounds #my art #fanart #its been decades (3 years) #oh lawd my tiktok will not stop showing me fnf content #so i must suffer #its agony #pain even

[furutetalks]

this freaking dude man

#he is pained #constant state of internal agony #he exists to suffer #why did they make him shirtless #why did they not give him a shirt #he is probably very cold #i do not want to draw a bare chested troll pleas give him a shirt #he went theough agony slowly getting turned to transperent elmers glitter glue and they didnt even give him a shirt #floyd trolls #trolls floyd #trolls fandom #trolls 3 #trolls dreamworks #trolls band together #trolls

[jedimemery]

“If I ever were to lose you…

…I’d surely lose myself.”

#star wars #the bad batch #tbb #clone force 99 #tbb omega #tbb hunter #joel miller #tlou #tlou2 #future days #i’m so sorry y’all #I had this thought and I can’t sit here and suffer alone :’) #pain. agony even

[bumblingbabooshka]

Let's put the angst back into pon farr - the deeply rooted shame

#currently writing........................ #picturing: What if Tuvok's bond with T'Pel makes him yearn for her through his pon farr even if he has to spend it with another person? #the shame and guilt and disgust of not only experiencing the indignity of the pon farr at all but also not spending it with T'Pel #and the horror that he'll have to (ostensibly) endure this every seven years for the next seventy #when you're suffering and probably SHOULD logically bond with another person to help you get through the fever #but the fever wails and agonizes - drowning you in the sorrow and love you've been suppressing in order to function #crushed between a rock (you're suffering even more bc you're still bonded to T'Pel) & a hard place (to break your bond with T'Pel would be #agony - it's all you have left - this pain is all you have left)

[izhape]

no offense intended really but this genuinely must be coming from someone who has no experience around cattle. there's a huge difference between putting an animal out of its misery humanely because it will absolutely suffer and die a slow painful death and comparing this to disabled people is just so ucky to me....

#txt #no shade to this person i understand where they're coming from but. it isn't kind at all to make these animals suffer for some moral high #ground. source: lived on a ranch and my family are ranchers #it's not because 'its just an animal' that's a cruel way to see it #also my rancher family is INDIGENOUS we know how to properly take care of animals they are not colonizer settler ranchers. to clarify #this is about the two-headed calf that got popular on here for a while #anyways um. cows can't tell you how much pain they're in a majority of the time. it's great that we want to try our best to help them live #a happy life even if it's short it is genuinely a nice idea but in reality she was going to get sores and infections and she was in constant #agony

[merverelli]

"im a magician, i just dont bang on about it"

missing marvin the magnificent hours </3

#jacksepticeye #marvin the magnificent #septicart #just like art #fun fact: this pose (???) and inspiration to draw marv again came from a comedy panel show my parents have gotten super into recently #hence the caption: its just a line from the bit this is from lmfao #also hello! im still waiting for uni to start up again #and im trying to be productive before it starts #so im going for my licence sometime soon (april lol) #and im currently hemorrhaging money from seeing doctors about this long term pain ive had for YEARS #going into the city to see one and its gonna be $300 bc life is nothing but agony and suffering #so im thinking about opening commissions???? its still super up in the air #ive only done commissions from people i know lmfao and even then it was stressful tbh #either that or i get another job lmfao #but besides that: ive been good! and i wish the same for you! good night!

[gxlden-angels]

My therapist and I have determined I have what I'm gonna call James Brain

It's basically a moral OCD subsection where it feels like every "bad" action is just as bad as any other "bad" action. Something like snapping when you're hangry feels like it's the same as robbing that person at gunpoint. It's based on the verse that's usually interpreted as all sins being equal:

"For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." James 2:10

#If you or a loved one is suffering from James Brain you may be entitled to financial compensation #Basically have a compulsive need to self correct #I no longer have to repent but my brain still wants SOMETHING to fill that void so now it's self correction #so it's a weird moral compulsion to make sure I perfect myself after a situation with a negative reaction from me or others #my therapist is helping me learn to pick and choose what's important and what's not #cause not everything matters all that much and I can say that #but I can't *believe* it enough yet to implement it #I'm slowly but surely getting there #I've even started playing fortnite more #also I'm stuck at walmart waiting for a scooter pain and agony on planet earth #ex christian #religious trauma

[avidenthusiastoftomfoolery]

Strawberry Blond by mitski but it’s:

A king singing about his hand and how they’re perpetually on the cusp of spring but never quite being able to just lie in the grass side by side and watch the clouds go by. It’s about how the hand’s once snow blond hair is now stained with the king’s blood. It’s about how instead of cutting it off and waiting for it to grow back the hand decided to embrace the changed color. He wears it as a reminder of spring. It’s about how the king watches as he loses him over and over and over again. It’s about a king that will forever lie in a moment of agony, seconds before spring, forever frozen in the snow.

#mcyt #minecraft #life series #traffic series #trafficblr #3rd life #rendog #martyn inthelittlewood #inthelittlewood #pain and suffering #agony even

[0509-brainrot]

long time no 0509

bonus under the cut

live kotos reaction

#milgram #milgram project #mikoto kayano #shidou kirisaki #0509 #0905 #my art #you do not want to know how much time this took #i can count on one hand the amount of times i've drawn characters dancing #and every single time. suffering. agony. pain and death (worth it though <3) #“oh fun idea i'll just draw that real quick” 3 hours later i'm not even done with the lineart #my wrist hurts now orz (still worth it) #enjoy the food 0509 nation... apologies for my absence </3 #for the record mikoto almost drops shidou during that dip he's too gay for this and they're both in shock

[sneez]

i used to talk about this a lot on twitter a few years ago but recently i’ve been thinking again about how little agency victor kain has both within the narrative and as an individual. specifically i think a lot about how his life after nina’s death is one in which he as a person plays very little role, and the fact that his duty as her husband (and as a kain) means that after she’s gone the nature of his family’s beliefs about the preservation of the soul keep him trapped by design in a grief that is necessarily all-consuming. if he wants to keep nina’s soul alive he can never progress beyond even the first stage of grief: every moment has to be dedicated to her and her memory; he has to be constantly reminded of her and the fact that she is dead. for him to move on would be for him to essentially kill her, so he can never even attempt to recover from her loss. his life has to revolve around the space where she was. in that way i see him as kind of a living shrine, a memorial whilst he’s alive and a vessel when he’s dead. his path is called the mistress! his entire life is explicitly devoted to someone who will take his body and return to life when he sacrifices himself for her! he’s working towards a utopia like the rest of his family, but who is it for? he lost his son in the pursuit of this thing which he will never get to see, and which seemingly never had a place for him at all. the kains’ utopia doesn’t even extend to their own.

all of this pains me particularly acutely because of how clear it is that victor does have interests and desires of his own, despite his implications that he is nothing more than a mouthpiece for his family. if you believe andrey, he doesn’t even want to be here: he wants to go back to the capital to finish his degree. i often see people talk about the kains as if they are one undifferentiated entity, but a lot of the quests ‘the kains’ give you are from victor, and i would argue that in most of those he is acting as an individual rather than necessarily a kain. he wants daniil to free the wrongfully imprisoned people; he acts against his family’s interests in rewarding clara for telling him about rubin. his letter to daniil on day 9 causes me agony for many reasons but in this context specifically because it doesn’t seem like he wants to die. georgiy appears pretty unfazed about being possessed by simon (although it’s georgiy so who knows) but victor, who has two children and has been one of the town’s rulers for presumably several decades, is telling a man he met just over a week ago that he is the only one to whom he can pass on anything meaningful. you could argue that he is just manipulating daniil here to persuade him to take up the kains’ cause, but i am of the opinion that he is being genuine in this case. he doesn’t want to die. he wants his family back again, but the only way they can be reunited is with his death. he wants to finish his degree. i am putting my head through walls

#pathologic #victor kain #ghost post #i havent put anything new in my posts tag in Uh Many months but ive been going insane in the brain about victor again recently so here i am #he causes me agony and pain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! augh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #he is just so sad. the more you think about him as a character the worse it gets. he has to be depressed forever or his wife will die (2) #the kains are just so messed up as a family. they have so many problems. they are so cruel to themselves #i didnt even talk about how his children dont seem to care for him either. georgiy certainly doesnt seem to. hes isolated by design #i dont think i expressed myself very well here but i had to say something or my head would explode and come off #i do talk about this very often on my private twitter but i want to share my suffering and anguish with the world #holds out my hand. suffer about victor kain with me

[mettywiththenotes]

QUIRKLESS. ARMLESS. TOMURA-LESS. HIS ASS IS NOT THRIVING

#pain. agony even. suffering if you will #bnha #bnha 419 #bnha manga spoilers #bnha spoilers #izuku midoriya #mettys posts #metty posts #tw blood #tw gore #cause this page is horrific #all caps

[soullessjack]

god I’m. thinking and jack and Kelly and 13x01 again. how the only memory and feeling jack has attached to Kelly is the loss of her. a still face that’s shrouded in cabin curtains and burnt on a pyre in front of him before he’s even a day old. how he was part of her but still never really got to know her but he still loved her in a way. how, when he’s curled up behind the dumpster and flashing back to her saying “you’re gonna be amazing,” the script reads that he wants to believe her. he wants to make her death, her sacrifice, worth it.

thinking about how in moriah jack tells cas that he used to hate himself for killing Kelly, and then in Byzantium, when Kelly’s cradling his face and they’re both just staring each other and finally meeting each other, he has this look of pure love and sadness because he’s literally looking at this woman that he thinks he murdered by existing. thinking about how, after killing Mary and blindly following heaven’s orders and accepting his doomed fate from birth that he is a monster who has to die for the good of the world. He failed. He couldn’t be what Kelly wanted, what Kelly had so much faith in. he’s so far from everything she thought he would be and she died for nothing and he killed her and there’s nothing to be done about it because he is and always has been a monster, born to destroy and kill and hurt.

how he wanted so badly to know her and be like her, how during his visit to his grandparents in 14x01 Kelly’s mother says he looks like her and he’s just. So happy to know that. And how he looks at his grandparents when they open the door to him and how he says “I know” when Kelly’s dad says his name is also Jack. This is his family, his actual blood family, this is literally the man he was named for. And he can’t tell them anything and they never know. And then in moriah when he visits them again asking to talk about Kelly while still in a complete mental spiral over Sam and Dean’s rejection because he just wants a family to be part of.

And of course the parallel between his guilt for kelly and his guilt for mary. Like look at this guy, he loves his mom so much, he’s named after her father, he looks like her, he wants to be like her so bad but all he will ever know about her is loss and how much not like her. How much of a a father’s monster he ended up being.

i’m gonna fucking throw up why is this show so mean to him

#spn #supernatural #jack kline #kelly kline #spn 14x07 #spn 14x08 #byzantium #jack and kelly #spn 13x01 #moriah #spn 14x20 #mary winchester #spn parallels #spn 14x17 #I’m so. #LITERALLY WHAT DID HE FUCKING DO TO DESERVE ANY OF THIS. #LIKE HOLY FUCKING SHIT LEAGE HIM ALONE HE NUST WANTS TO BE GOOD #pain. agony even #suffering .if you will #spn was like yeah this show is routinely about men with daddy issues but let’s shake it up and make a boy with mommy issues instead #thanks Andrew dabb