#papa vesemir

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

#the witcher #jaskier #geralt of rivia #geralt #the witcher netflix #witcher #dandelion #julian alfred pankratz #vesemir #papa vesemir #eskel #lambert #witcher aiden #kaer morons

[0dde11eth]

Jaskier: at a certain point in a relationship you get to a point where you've seen your partners butthole more than they've seen it themselves. And I think there's something beautiful in that.

Vesemir: geralt has also written his own vows

Geralt: hmm

Vesemir: ....I now pronounce you husbands

#my nonsense #jaskier #geralt #geraskier #papa vesemir

[jay-arts-t]

Posting a a little today but really like the whole bit the boys have over calling Vesemir old. They all just collectively agree “old man old man”

It’s even funnier when notw makes vesemir only 70, or really 60 something years older than them since they’re around 4-8 age group. And he only looks like he’s in his 20s-early thirties. I’m sure Lambert started it. One day he just asks “why are you so old?” And Vesemir is left shocked. He’s not that old!!! But then when they get back to Kaer Morhen and the boys are a bit older Geralt finally gets to ask all his questions about Kaer Morhen he couldn’t ask before.

“How old is Kaer Morhen?”

“I don’t know Geralt. Old.”

“Are you older than Kaer Morhen or as old?”

Vesemir throws his boots at him. Then that’s when the whole “*insert item* is almost as old as Vesemir!”

HE HATES IT.

When Ciri finally joins them, Lambert immediately teaches her the bit. She is RUTHLESS with her insults. Vesemir is giving her a history lesson in the courtyard since it’s nice out. The boys are fixing one of the walls in the background. He’s telling her about a war that happened around 600 years ago.

“Do you remember what it was like in that time? Since you were there?” Vesemir wants to crawl into a hole and die in it. The boys are basically toppled over in laughter. Lambert starts choking from laughing too hard. Ciri seems extremely pleased with herself.

It starts evolving further into “oh you wanna know about the conjunction of spheres? Oh I dunno, ask Vesemir he was there since before the conjunction.” And “what was it like when dinosaurs were alive, Vesemir?”

AND IT SOMEHOW SPREADS. He’s in a growing town in southern Redania with Geralt and they run into Jaskier. Now he’s never had the fortune of meeting him, but he’s heard plenty. He’s about to thank the poet for looking after Geralt until Jaskier goes “so I’ve heard you’re quite old! Tell me Master Vesemir, what was it like when kingdoms started to form? How did the royal families come to be in power?”

Vesemir is SEETHING. Geralt just smiles like the little shit he is.

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #jaskier #dandelion #geralt z rivii #lambert #eskel #vesemir #papa vesemir #witcher ciri #NOTW #nightmare of the wolf #notw vesemir #peepaw vesemir #he’s ancient #he seriously hates the bit so much #been suffering for 100 years due to it #once when he’s doing a job for king foltest he gets called fucking living history #he’s like ILL SHOW YOU ANCIENT HISTORY MR

[ladyannemarie5]

Jaskier looking through the clothes: Hey, Vesemir, have you seen my top?

Vesemir without taking his eyes off his book: Geralt is brushing Roach.

Jaskier: What? No, I mean my top.

Vesemir: Eskel is training outside

Jaskier: My red top!

Vesemir: Oh! Lambert is at the lab

Jaskier: I mean my red shirt.

Vesemir: ... You should have specified

#jaskier #vesemir #papa vesemir #geralt of rivia #geralt #eskel #lambert #the witcher #the witcher netflix #geraskier

[moonkidphrase]

Lambert really said “well Vesemir said not to stick my dick in crazy but he didn’t say anything about letting crazy stick the dick in me so I think we’re good Aiden”

#the witcher #the witcher 3 #lambert #lambert x aiden #witcher lambert #aiden #witcher aiden #lambden #papa vesemir

[slumberingcorpse]

Imagine if instead of cats being terrified of witchers, they instead loved witchers? I can just picture Lambert just walking into a town with an army of cats that he’s gathered just to cause utter chaos. (Yes, he has tried to train all of his cats to attack people he doesn’t like. He gave up after a week). Every time, Eskel sleeps in a barn or stables he wakes up with a whole colony of stray cats sleeping on him causing him to often get up late since he doesn’t want to disturb their sleep. He also makes sure to feed them any chance he gets. Geralt would constantly lose his mind during hunts since kittens will start to pop out of nowhere wanting attention and he will have to kill monsters while protecting each cat. As for Vesemir, he busies himself with building cat trees for all the cats that wander into Kear Morhan and treat them as more of his children. He gave them all names and makes clothes, toys (Made with the purest of cat nip), and beds for all of them. Some of them even have small versions of the wolf medallions as collars.

#the witcher #witcher fanfiction #witcher fic #ficlet #witcher #witcher geralt #witcher eskel #eskel my beloved #eskel #eskel witcher #lambert #witcher lambert #papa vesemir #vesemir #the witcher fandom #witcher fandom #witcher au

[thedemonofcat]

Around the holidays at Kear Morhen, instead of having Mistletoe, they have Mistlefoe.

Where instead of kissing, they must fight each other.

During Jaskier's stay he’s disappointed to find out he will not be kissing Geralt

#the witcher netflix #geralt of rivia #the witcher #joey batey #jaskier the witcher #henry cavill #the witcher jaskier #geralt x jaskier #geraskier #fic ideas #kear morhen #the witcher lambert #the witcher eskel #papa vesemir #witcher coen #jaskier #gerskier #cirilla fiona elen riannon #freya allan #headcanon #yennefer of vengerberg #anya cholatra #the witcher season 3 #anya chalotra #the witcher season three #witcher yennefer

[ccghastly]

Trainee Geralt & The Advanced Obstacle Courses

A little oneshot I just had to write out. It's only about 1k words long.

I hope you enjoy it!

The trainers grew frustrated with Geralt after he'd finished his trial of the grasses(both of them), as he'd slowed down on the obstacle courses.

He used to run the trainee courses with the frantic reckless hope that all the trainees did. Pushed, as they were, by their trainer's harsh words and expectations.

He now plodded through the advanced courses, pausing on every obstacle to watch how the next moved, even after having completed the same courses over and over again. The trainers had tried shouting and beating and bribing and threatening and cajoling and scorning, but still he crept through each course. 

The trainers went to Vesemir, as he was leader of Geralt's Cohort, and Vesemir tried to encourage a bit more confidence into Geralt; he knew that Geralt could run those courses just as fast as any of the other trainees, if he'd just apply himself. 

But still Geralt refused to speed up. 

There came a day that Vesemir was headed to the library and, while crossing a walkway, spotted Eskel running the third advanced course. Curious, and knowing the trainees rarely went anywhere alone, he stopped to see what they were up to. 

The trainees weren't forbidden from running the courses independently, but they rarely chose to with the rare bits of free time they had. 

Eskel seemed to be trying to improve on his speed record, sprinting as hard as he could through the obstacles, and getting summarily knocked off for prioritizing speed over caution.

Vesemir winced as Eskel tucked into a hasty roll to break his fall and crashed into a support pillar of the neighboring course,

"Doing better, Keli." Came a soft rasping voice, 

"Yeah," came a more acerbic voice "Last time you took way longer to fall there."

Vesemir looked over and wasn't surprised to find Geralt and Lambert stood nearby, they were a trio none had seen pairing up, but they hadn't yet had a spat bad enough to permanently split. 

Geralt was tallying up the marbles from the counter; a contraption of turning gears and popping ropes the mages had put together to accurately time things. Marbles dropped out of it at specified intervals, the more marbles, the more time had passed. 

The record for the third advanced course by a full witcher was set by Naumir at eight marbles, the trainee record was fourteen. Eskel seemed to have run about three fifths of the course in eleven, which was about where he should in his training. 

Eskel groaned as he disentangled himself from the pillar and pushed himself to his feet, the many scuff marks and skids of dirt on his clothes showed that he'd been at this for a while. Lambert looked to be only a touch cleaner, so the pup must have given it a few tries as well. Vesemir studied Geralt, hoping for even the smallest smear of dust, but was dissatisfied to find he showed no signs of having fallen from the course. 

Vesemir didn't know where the boy's sudden fear of falling had come from, it wasn't a large fall, and he didn't seem to fear heights when running the walls or during climb training, but still he refused to take risks on the obstacle courses.

Vesemir shook his head and began to walk away, but paused when he heard Lambert pipe up through Eskel's plotting and self chastising,

"Will you run it, Geralt?"

Vesemir turned back and watched Geralt study the course with a pensive look in his eye, he seemed about to decline when Eskel spoke,

"Would you? Show me how it's done, Wolf"

Geralt gazed at the course for a moment more then tilted his head to eye his brothers, Eskel and Lambert stared back with pleading eyes, and Geralt finally nodded a slow agreement. Lambert broke into cheers and Eskel clapped him on the arm with a beaming grin.

Vesemir watched with trepidation, and a small amount of hope, as Geralt clambered to the start of the course and stared it down while he waited for Lambert to shove all the marbles back into the counter and Eskel to set everything moving again.

"Ready… Go!" Shouted Lambert as he pulled loose the starting cord of the counter.

Vesemir felt his heart sink in his chest, when instead of launching forward Geralt slid into a crouch, his eyes unwavering from their lock on the course's first obstacle. 

Vesemir might have left then, but there was something about this that felt different, so he stayed and watched his boy watch the rhythm of course.

For the first time Vesemir was able to have his full attention on Geralt as he faced a course and he realized that the gleam in Geralt's eyes wasn't fear, but a fierce calculation.

Geralt's head started a small sway in time with the first pendulum and then, all of sudden, he was off.

Vesemir felt his jaw slacken, he'd never seen a trainee run this course that fast, or that fluidly. It was as though Geralt knew exactly what was going to happen an instant before it did, he swung around pendulums, under bars, leapt gaps, and dodged spikes without a single toe misplaced. Not a move was wasted.

Vesemir found himself holding his breath as Geralt approached the final stretch, it was designed to force Witchers to use their signs, the obstacles unnavigable without them. 

Geralt threw himself into the fray without a single beat of hesitation. His fingers flowed through his signs, but he left them half powered, giving them the bare minimum of the strength that was needed to let him eel through the great moving pieces, that could and would break any limbs they caught.

Geralt was nearly out when a piece moved a touch faster than he'd anticipated and clipped his heel, sending him tumbling madly into the last set. Vesemir wouldn't be surprised if he left an exact imprint of his fingertips in the balustrade he was clutching, with how tightly he was strangling it. 

Geralt bounced off one clapper into another, and kicked off a third to tumble desperately over the finish line and, blessedly, off the obstacle course. 

Only then did Vesemir register Lambert and Eskel's screaming whoops and howling. Geralt's brothers rushed to congratulate him and Vesemir sagged to the floor of the walkway.

As he calmed, Vesemir began to make out words over the thunder of his heart in his ears,

"TEN!" They were screaming "TEN! GERALT!" and Vesemir felt a grin creep onto his face.

I do have more on this, so if you have any questions feel free to ask!

💝 Thank you for reading 💝

#Geralt #Eskel #lambert #vesemir #papa vesemir #the witcher #witcher trials #ccghastly #kaer morons

[wyrm-mlm]

Yooooo I just had an idea for a modern Witcher AU that has latched my brain and won’t let go so I gotta just get it out:

Kaer Mohren Animal Hospital

Geralt, Lambert and Eskel all grew up, adopted by Vesemir and somehow all became Veterinarians. Then they decided to open an animal hospital together

Eskel is usually who you see if you bring in a cat or dog, handling the general practice. He’s kind with animals and people alike, sitting with clients as long as it takes to make sure they understand everything.

Lambert takes care of exotics, the weirder the better to him. If Eskel’s schedule is tight he’ll examine a dog or two but he refuses to work with cats. They hate him, he’s sure.

Geralt is usually on the road, tending to livestock. Horses are his favorite of course, and he has some of his own. When he’s at the clinic he will see dogs and cats too.

Yennifer is the lead Tech. She’s hard on her techs but they all know she does it for the good of the animals. She’s not great with clients.

Triss is basically her right hand and takes over if it’s Yen’s day off. She’s great with people and is usually the one to take scheduled euthanasias. It takes a lot out of her but she pretends it doesn’t effect her.

Letho is the muscle, and usually tags along with Geralt to help restraint with larger animals. He tends to intimidate people in the clinic so he’s happy to stay on the road most the time.

Coen is also the muscle but tends to stay at the clinic as he’s better with people. He can get a mastiff on the surgery table with little help. Though it’s catching up to him and he has chronic back pain. He has a hard time asking for help. Yen tends to scold him for that.

Iorveth runs a wildlife rehabilitation center and often brings in things to Lambert. They have to make sure his appointments are on different days from Roche(who helps Foltest with his show and hunting dogs. Basically a glorified assistant.) or the two will argue for hours in the waiting room if they run into each other.

Jaskier fosters animals constantly (he has a big heart and a deep wallet, what can he say?) so he’s commonly bringing in dogs and cats and the occasional exotic to make sure that they are healthy and can be rehomed. He flirts with everyone. All the time. Also a lot of business comes from people who he refers to the clinic.

Aiden is another tech. He has a way with cats that no one else does. Even clients are surprised. A lot of cat owners ask for him by name because of it.

Gaetan is a kennel tech that wants to become a vet some day. He dreams of opening an all cat hospital and roped Aiden into the idea. Lambert thinks they’re crazy.

Vesemir used to be a large animal vet but now works the books for his boys.

Ciri is Geralt’s god child and dreams of becoming a zoo vet some day and spends most of her time not at school at the clinic with Geralt.

That’s all I got for now, may add to it. If anyone has suggestions or head canons let me know. Also PLEASE if this inspires fanart or fanfics tag me.

#the witcher #the witcher netflix #the witcher games #the witcher books #jaskier #geralt #geralt of rivia #witcher lambert #lambert the witcher #Eskel #lambert #witcher eskel #letho of gulet #witcher letho #witcher gaetan #witcher aiden #vesemir #papa vesemir #witcher vesemir #yennifer #yennifer of vengerberg #witcher triss #triss merigold #ciri #cirillia #cirilla fiona elen riannon #I didn’t add any shops because 1 witchersexual Jaskier and 2 I want anyone who sees this au to be able to add the ships they want

[mayasooong]

A commission of Vesemir and their OC 🥺🥺

Commissions are open if you want me to draw things for you guys (limited slots) ❤️

#mayasooong’s commissions #commission #commissioned by me #commission art #digital commisions #art commisions #vesemir witcher #witcher vesemir #papa vesemir #the witcher 3 #the witcher #tw3 #tw3 wild hunt #the witcher games

[random-apollo-child]

Jaskier geralt ciri yen and some other witchers walk into a town

Jask: I've been here before.... let's leave

Cöen: why do you wanna leave

Lambert: bard, what did you do

Jask: I- *scoffs* why in the world would you think I did anything

Geralt: jask what the fuck did you do

Yen: you very clearly did something

Jaskier the chaotic neutral bard: I may or may not have set a few building on flame

Ciri who thought jaskier was a lawful good person: *Spits out water* you fucking what??

Papa vesmir concerned: bard what the flying fuck

Jaskier the white wolf's bard: it happened like 7 winters ago

Eskel: what the FUCK

#jaskier #the witcher #geraskier #dandelion #julian alfred pankratz #geralt #geralt of rivia #witcher dandelion #witcher geralt #geralt x jaskier #lambert #cöen #papa vesemir #eskel #ciri is their child #witcher ciri #princess cirilla #yennefer #yennefer x geralt

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

Modern AU:

Kaer Moron’s Family Car

@0dde11eth @everything-but-the-not-natural @i-pet-spuders @fandom-junk-drawer @dancinginmyoldsatindress @thequeeninyellowlace

#the witcher #jaskier #geralt of rivia #geralt #the witcher netflix #witcher #dandelion #julian alfred pankratz #vesemir #papa vesemir #witcher lambert #aiden the witcher #witcher eskel #guess which one is Jaskier’s

[0dde11eth]

Ok jaskier wearing a thong in kaer morhen, he bends over, and the top of it peaks out of his pants one day. Here's the Kaer morons reactions when they see it:

Geralt: *error, brain melting from the horny*

Eskel: isn't that uncomfortable?

Lambert: *grabs the thong and gives jaskier a turbo wedgie*

Vesemir: *fist bumps jaskier. Then uses his thumb to pull up and show off the thong he's also wearing*

#my nonsense #jaskier #geralt #geraskier #kaer morons #lambert #another day in kaer morhen #eskel #papa vesemir #bard in kaer morhen

[jay-arts-t]

Training Eskel and Geralt was a fun time for all of the instructors at Kaer Morhen!

I was scrolling through Pinterest for some poses and came across some funny images that reminded me of the wolves!

#the witcher #geralt of rivia #eskel #vesemir #young witchers #young geralt #young eskel #pups of kaer morhen #kaer morons #tw3 fanart #papa vesemir

[winters-mistress]

Of gentle wolves and healing princesses

It's a slow process, all things considered. It had been impressive enough that Ciri had even woken up from her injury at all, let alone begun to heal from it. Vesemir tells the twice grassed pup that even fully grown witchers have fallen from injuries like that one. But still, the girl awakens.

Because of the fall, her head had been banged up pretty tightly, Eskel and Vesemir taking turns changing the bandages and boil washing them in their best bet to ward off infection. But as the days go by, Geralt watches Cirilla remain awake for stretches longer and longer, even starting to respond to stimuli and respond to questions at the end of the first week of bed boundness.

Coën takes to slowly maneuvering her limbs as she's in bed. Bending her knees and extending her arms and rotating her torso. It's to keep her blood flowing, he tells the wolves, before admonishing them for their lack of knowledge on the clotting of human blood. Not enough movement could still the blood and kill her just as easily as the fall or infection could. Geralt is just greatful the Griffin has the instinct to take such good care of the white wolf's pup, for his instinct is to still protect the girl fiercely.

Lambert is the least helpful when it comes to Cirilla's recovery. He drank himself into a stupor the first night she had fallen, and had his face pummelled in by Geralt on the second. It had taken all four of the other witchers to separate them both, the two growling witchers thrashing as they fought with fists flying instead of the wooden swords of their youth.

By the start of week two, Ciri can swallow broth and thin soups, can move her body after vials of pure poppyseed milk to stop the pain, and Geralt is relieved when the bandages come off that reveal a clean wound, sewn up and sealing over with scabs and iodine. They keep a bandage on there just in case, but nowhere as dramatic as the others she had been wearing all that week.

After the wound is closed, Eskel and Coën and Geralt wash Cirilla's hair clean of the multitude of fluids that maar the girl's pretty blonde hair. Vesemir took the time to brew up a soup with small cooked root vegetables, while Lambert was scheduled to make more healing potions thag wouldn't melt the poor girls insides.

By week three, Cirilla can wash herself with a flannel and eat thick soups of barley and potato. She can sit up by herself now and hold a slow conversation. Her words are slow, slurred and take a while longer to understand their responses. Lambert drinks himself into a bucket again, and Vesemir tans his hide for it.

Geralt is impressed as the girl begins to get restless in her bedrest and sees the spark returning as she tries to get up and explore. He feels like Vesemir when he tells her that she needs to walk before she can run, but will stay by her side as she steadies herself and holds her hands as she climbs to her feet.

The witchers are honestly mighty impressed that it takes them only a day to start walking the length and around Ciri's room, and only another fir her yo walk from one wall to the next without Geralt's hands to support her, even if she falls into them when she's scaled this hurdle.

Day by day, they walk a little further in the keep and Geralt carries her less and lesson their way back. Her words get quicker in speed and understanding and the promises of a visit yo the horses or the hunting dogs or the livestock keep Cirilla motivated when she cannot put one foot in front if the other anymore.

But they get there, one step at a time, a harem of large, mutated witchers and a pretty princess who has just as much strength as them.

#geralt and ciri #the witcher netflix #geralt of rivia #cirilla of cintra #fanfiction #witcherfanfiction #ciri is his baby #geralt is the best dad #dadralt #i love him #princess cirilla #ciri and Eskel #ciri and Lambert #cirilla fiona elen riannon #ciri and Vesemir #ciri and coen #coën #uncle lambert #lambert #witcher lambert #witcher eskel #witcher fanfiction #witcher coen #protective geralt #papa vesemir

[fandom-junk-drawer]

#the witcher #the witcher memes #the witcher netflix #twn #vesemir #papa vesemir