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#perhaps i should try to create a new character?
raveartts · 3 months
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oh my god i haven't created an oc in actual ages???? not jsut a random pretty design i never touch again i mean like an actual CHARACTER
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dduane · 27 days
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Hi Diane!
I promise this will end in an ask, but I have a story to share first, if you have the time.
I’m very new to Tumblr, in fact, I was moved to finally create an account to send you this message, but I’ve been casually poking around for a bit. A quick google last summer told me that Tumblr is the best place to get Good Omens news from Neil himself, but it didn’t do the courtesy of warning me just how magnetic this particular bastion of chaotic creative internet mayhem can be. This story is one example. Fun note, when I was composing this message my husband looked over my shoulder at the literal essay I’d typed out and suggested that I maybe, perhaps, might consider shortening it to the length of a conversation that could take place in an elevator. Or in line at the coffee shop. However, i’m not one sacrifice enormity for brevity.
Your post the other day regarding the cover for your novel, Stealing the Elf King’s Roses, got me thinking. First, that it was a very genuine thing to share, second, that I wasn’t entirely sure why I wasn’t immediately familiar with your work, and third, what a fun visual challenge. I was still thinking about it when I should have been sleeping, so I decided to dig in. I almost stopped reading your bio at the ‘blah blah blah’ because I was feeling quite bad about my media literacy at that point, but then I saw that you’re well-known for the Young Wizard series.
The Young Wizard series.
I said I’d try to keep it brief and this is my best attempt. I read books 1-5 of that series during the hardest, strangest, most heartbreaking time in my childhood when I desperately needed a different reality than my own. What I found in your novels was so much better than that. Your stories, your characters, your vision, helped teach me to ground myself in my strengths, frame my reality with hope and purpose, and how to build the spaces I needed within myself to find the compassion, forgiveness, joy and peace I so desperately needed. One of the things I built within myself on my healing journey was a beautiful jeweled box. It resides in my mind just off of I-335 in Topeka, Kansas. I was driving through the flint hills on a road trip from Milwaukee to Wichita when I finally finished the long process of constructing it, so that is where it stays, shining in the sun and twinkling under the stars. This box contains everything I experienced that couldn’t come with me as I grew. Crafting it was a lengthy, emotional, wrenching process, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done to allow me to become the person I am today. I used visit it every now and again, to make sure the jewels are still bright, but I’m very careful to not jostle the lid.
I’m recounting all of this to you because two nights ago I quite suddenly found myself standing beside my box for the first time in almost a decade. I could feel the gravel under my slipper socks as I gently opened the lid to see my copies of your books resting at the very top. I wasn’t immediately familiar with your work when I saw your name because it is so inextricable from the very fabric of how healed myself, that I accidentally let your words fall under the closed lid of the very box they helped enable me to make. Nothing else clamored to be released as I carefully pulled them out, and once more closed the lid.
So, the ask. I will be brief here - I’m an artist. Not currently working professionally as I’m exploring a different career path, but I’m usually working on a personal project or two. I needed a new one and was still intrigued by the post that started this all, so to help me process the emotions described above I made a version of a cover for STEKR and wanted to ask if I could share it with you. It looks like I can’t attach here, but I’d love to post it on my new, very empty page. It truly might not be your style, but I once again found solace in a space you opened the door to and this time I have the opportunity to share it!
Also, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
You're so very welcome! And I'm really glad the books were there for you when you needed them. (And plainly are there with you still.) 😊
And absolutely, post that cover! I'll be delighted to see it.
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two-white-butterflies · 6 months
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silver spring | coriolanus snow
Description: Coriolanus Snow knows that he shouldn't have ended up this way. He knows that he was destined to be something better. The woman sleeping beside him is a testament of his reckoning, Lucy Gray is a ghost that he tries to forget. (Snow and Reader's marriage told through the cold beliefs of Coriolanus.)
Pairing: young-president!coriolanus snow/wife!reader
Warning: childbirth, major character death, angst, snow is haunted by lucy gray's memory.
"Time cast a spell on you But you won't forget me." - Fleetwood Mac.
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[...] He was glad about the erasure. It was just another way to eliminate Lucy Gray from the world. The Capitol would forget her, the districts barely knew her, and District 12 had never accepted her as their own. In a few years, there would be a vague memory that a girl had once sung in the arena. And then that would be forgotten too. Goodbye Lucy Gray, we hardly knew you.
"Are you alright?" you cleared your throat seeing him in deep thought. There was always something mysterious inside the man that you married - he was always deep in thought. "You came to visit?" he seemed disinterested in what you had to say. "I-they told me that you didn't eat dinner yet," you managed to choke out.
He was very clear and precise. He told you that he couldn't stand you - that he hated you, and it was the very reason that you were wed.
An amused chuckle exits his mouth. "Aren't there more important things to have your attention?" he raised an eyebrow, staring at you up and down with that incredulous stare.
You seemed to amuse him - to some extent.
"- like running our household or gossiping with your friends." he mused, returning back to his paperwork. His statement made you feel awry, you were never the one to listen to gossip - the suggestion that you should do that only cemented the fact that he didn't know you - didn't bother enough to know you. "I was worried that you'd starve without dinner." you took another step forward.
He shakes his head.
"I will not die without dinner." he scoffed - dismissing you.
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It was late at night when Coriolanus stumbled inside your room. By then, he could hardly make out the outline of your body on the bed.
He couldn't believe that the woman he hated - had finally become his wife. "Coriolanus," you mumbled - eyes trying to adjust with the dim light. "Did I wake you?" he removed his jacket, surprised at his tone. "N-No," you stuttered. A meek prey against him.
You moved slightly, leaving him enough space to lay beside you.
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Coriolanus was surprised that you slept that quick - though, perhaps he was also thankful. He didn't want to create a reason for small talk. Your purpose in his life wasn't to be loved - it was to create children, and to strengthen his political prowess.
The moment he set his eyes on you - he vowed to never love or care for you. He couldn't afford to love again. He knows what love feels like - Lucy Gray manipulated him, both body and soul. Until now he doesn't know if she is truly dead. He wishes that she is.
He is snapped away from his thoughts again.
This time, you wrap your arms around him. His eyes widen in surprise, he opens his mouth to speak but he relents seeing your sleeping figure.
He may hate you, but it does not stop him from finding you beautiful.
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It was a few months later when he sees you again - this time with good news. "They tell me that our child is the size of a small ball." you smiled, reaching for his hand and placing it on your stomach. This was one of the few moments where he showed his love. You were sat on his lap, almost inhaling his scent at the proximity.
It was all for show, you thought. He had guests in the courtyard, and they could see you from the window.
"I've thought of names, but I wanted you to choose too." you continued, licking your pink lips. Oh, Coriolanus wanted nothing than to kiss those lips right now - but alas, his ambition ruled him. "What are they?" he continued rubbing your belly.
"Brutus, if it is a boy and Lucy-"
"No, not Lucy. Something else." he demanded, interrupting you. "Josephine," you quickly replace and he nods.
"- but if there are other names that you prefer, you may choose." you stared deep into his eyes. "You bleed, you decide." he whispered, his hands trailing up to your neck. "Kiss me," he suddenly demanded.
"What?" your eyebrows merged into each other.
"There's people watching, kiss me."
And you obeyed him.
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"As pure as the driven snow," you mumble while soothing the pain in your stomach. "What did you say?" Coriolanus raised an eyebrow. "Our child is as pure as the driven snow," you repeated - almost seeing his face in a dream. "Where did you come up with that?" he chuckled, slowly used to your company.
"You mumbled it in your sleep." you responded, continuing to write on your journal. "Well, I can't remember saying that anymore." he shrugged, feeling paranoia gnaw at his bones.
Lucy Gray, let me live.
"It sounds familiar, it's from that tribute - I watched her then, but its been so long I can't even remember." you chuckled, Lucy Gray Baird, the songbird from District 12.
You were enamored by her - intrigued by her voice. Your husband seems to be the same. "Is that why you wanted to name our child Lucy?" he questioned, her name tasted bitter on his tongue. "No, of course not - you'd never approve." you scoffed.
"Why wouldn't I? I don't know Lucy Gray personally." he lied once more, maintaining his narrative. "You told me that the Games were created to remind the Districts of what they are - animals." you remembered, not fully believing his speech. "You would hate me if I named our child after an ... well, someone that you hate."
"Good, and don't mention Lucy Gray ever again." his eyes narrowed.
part two >>
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shroomdreams · 18 days
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for your eyes and mine
how do honkai star rail characters react when they stumble upon you trying out a lingerie set that matches them?
note: just something short and sweet while i gather my motivation :3 gn!reader
-🚂☕️-
the first thing that himeko thinks when she walks into your train car is how absolutely gorgeous the lingerie is. its white lace woven together to create a tasteful yet alluring shape, while the sleeves fade into a gold color, highlighted by splashes of red. she could also see the little faux roses decorating the ensemble. "well well, i didn't realize such a masterpiece was hiding on the express," himeko giggles, sliding the door close behind her as she approaches you, her skilled hands feeling and caressing the curves of your body. "perhaps i should make you a set as well, huh sweetie?" you blush as her fingers ghost over your exposed skin. himeko spends the rest of the night worshipping and kissing you all over, making you feel loved.
-🕸️☂️-
you had no idea that kafka had come early, trying on the spider-theme undergarments and cursing as the complicated straps fumble in your grasp. kafka watches in amusement as you attempt to figure out which strap goes where, leaving you topless as you make another futile attempt. it's so adorable watching you try to make yourself pretty for her. she finally makes her presence known, nearly scaring you to death as she casually strides over and grabs at the set. "here, darling," kafka purred. "let me help you out." maybe it was the way she kept eye contact with you, but you feel yourself trembling as kafka helps you put on the complicated ensemble with expertise. kafka hums in appreciation, her hands sliding to your cobweb-stockings and snapping the band against your skin, causing you to yelp. however, she thinks it'd be better if she found a matching collar to complete the look.
-❄️🛡️-
gepard thinks you're going to kill him one day. though he may be captain of the silvermane guards, there's no way he could have prepared for the sight of you lying in bed, clad in the colors of his troops. he turned tomato red when you giggle and hold your arms out, asking him for a hug. do you know of what you do to him? gepard thinks as he pulls you close, breathing in your perfume as you talk about the new lingerie you bought just for him. by the preservation, he's absolutely smitten by your charms as he kisses you deeply. "did you miss me that much?" he asked, pawing at your clothed bottom as you laugh. "i'll have to double my efforts as a lover, then..."
-🌹✨-
argenti swears up and down that you may as well be an emanator of the Beauty with how stunning you look, clad in a red, strappy set that perfectly accentuates your hips and chest. he kneels before you, kissing up your leg and resting his head on your lap, eyes full of love and adoration as you twirl a strand of his ruby hair. "breathtaking-" argenti whispers, gently pushing you down on the mattress as he sets your legs on his shoulders, hands inching towards your panties. "you are truly the epitome of Beauty, my love." argenti says, pawing at your stomach, sending sparks of electricity through your body. sighs and moans fill the room as argenti showers you with utmost devotion, determined to make sure you know how beautiful you are.
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queenvhagar · 15 days
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My perhaps controversial take on the HOTD characters, the GOT characters the writers are trying to mold them into, and the GOT characters they actually most resemble in the books (in my opinion - feel free to disagree).
Disclaimer: these are entirely disconnected series with unique characters, so it's impossible to do what the writers of HOTD seemed to be trying to do in season 1 i.e. mold the characters from Fire and Blood to fit the characters of GOT to try to recreate the success of the early seasons. Given this, I tried to choose one single character analogue from GOT that each HOTD/FB character is most like, but oftentimes the reality is that if any single character from Fire and Blood resembles a Game of Thrones character it is likely that they are a combination of more than one. All of this said, here is who I think the writers are trying to fit certain HOTD characters into vs the character they are actually most like (according to Fire and Blood):
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Rhaenyra Targaryen: obviously the show wants her to be the new and improved Daenerys, a protagonist everyone can root for who wants to revolutionize the existing order. In reality, Rhaenyra is most like Cersei: a woman who seeks to use her three bastards to usurp thrones and gain even more power than she already has, all while committing incest with a family member and using her power to punish and silence her enemies. She uses the existing system to raise herself up and keep others below her. She does reach her goal of ultimate power but ultimately she is unable to hold it. In pursuit of holding onto power or gaining more of it, she watches as her children die early deaths. The smallfolk despise her for her methods of ruling. Eventually, she will cause her own downfall and die before her time.
Alicent Hightower: the show wants her to be Cersei, a mean-spirited, jealous woman protecting her problematic children and using her status as queen to put others in their place (they even used Cersei scenes as audition material for the role). In reality, I see Alicent as most like Catelyn - a flawed woman, mother to a king, seeking to further the rights of her son in the hopes of protecting her family from those who would harm them, guided by her own sense of justice, honor, and understanding of the laws of the land (and of course, hyper aware of the bastards in the room). All she wants is her and her children's safety, and she is willing to go to war for it. In the end, however, she watches as every last child is taken from her before she herself dies alone.
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Viserys I Targaryen: the show wants us to see him as the ultimate father who loves his child unconditionally and always supports her, and that his view of right and wrong should be what guides the world. In reality, he is most like Robert Baratheon: a weak king unsuitable for rule whose mistakes and complacency lead to civil war after his death. His preoccupation with past events and people, and his role in a former love's demise, leads him to neglect his current wife and their children and make decisions that create long-term issues for his family and the realm.
Criston Cole: as soon as Criston turns away from Rhaenyra, the show wants you to view him as a Meryn Trant type of Kingsguard - a man unconcerned with honor and violently anti-women, more than willing to carry out terrible acts commanded of him. In reality, Criston is like more like Jaime: he seeks to make a name for himself as a knight, guided by his own sense of honor and justice, though he is judged by others as lacking such principles. His devotion to his position on the Kingsguard and his love for the royal family motivates him. Occasionally his self-confidence and delight in goading his enemies can make him appear callous and proud. Although he is not officially the royal children's "father," he has guided and protected them and their mother from early on in the absence of their official father.
Daemon Targaryen: the show wants you to both love and hate Daemon. It seems he should fill many roles that Jaime did - a sword fighter whose swagger and danger mix together, whose dishonorable acts follow him through the world. He acts primarily out of love or his pursuit of it, whether for his brother or his lover and her children. The viewer is supposed to see that deep down he is a good guy, no matter how many characters say that he's not. In reality, I see Daemon as a more capable Viserys III: a man adamant in his family's racial superiority, who believes he and his loved ones should have access to unchecked power because they're better than everyone else. A man who enjoys exercising his power over others and demanding obedience out of fear of his wrath. A man who uses his younger family member to further his own interests without much thought to her own wishes or agency and willing to hurt her if she doesn't act the way he wants her to.
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Otto Hightower: the show wants you to view Otto as a new Littlefinger, someone sly about his intentions who uses spies, information, and unsavory methods to take advantage of the ruling family and further his own interests and increase his own power. I see him instead as more similar to Tywin: a Hand of the King seeking to put his family close to the throne in pursuit of legacy and advancing his family's station, a man who arranged for his daughter to marry the king so his blood would sit the Iron Throne and bring his family power for generations, a man acutely aware of the political world and how the game is played and willing to get his hands dirty to play it.
The Strong boys: the show wants you to root for Rhaenyra's perfect, good natured and pure intentioned sons as if they were the Stark boys (mixed with Jon Snow). Raised in a good family, these boys know right from wrong and love each other. Yet some people unfairly think less of them for their birth. In reality, the Strong boys are closest to Joffrey, Tommen, and Myrcella. Bastards set to inherit positions they have no claim to, they are coddled by their mother and protected from any consequences to their actions. When one attacks another child, their mother demands that the other child's family is punished for their actions (and doesn't even reprimand the child for his role in the conflict). The result is the child has no remorse for the harm done, and the other child's family festers resentment against the child. Some people uncover the truth of their birth and object to their place in the line of succession, and these people are killed for speaking the truth. Eventually, a war is fought to keep them and their mother away from the throne, resulting in all of them being killed.
Aegon II Targaryen: the show wants you to see him as Joffrey 2.0. A man interested in viewing sadistic acts for his own pleasure, who abuses women for his own enjoyment, and who is unfit to rule. In reality I see Aegon as closest to Robb: a first born son reluctant to rule as king once his father dies but who rises to the occasion to try to keep his remaining family safe. A king willing to fight his battles alongside his men, no matter the risk it might pose to him. A king who tries his best to rule but makes mistakes along the way that cost him dearly. In the end, he watches as he loses everything, and he dies young.
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soaringwide · 6 days
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Pick a Card: What do you need to hear right now?
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Hello and welcome back to a new pick a card reading!
Today is a general and open one, where we're going to look at What you need to hear right now.
As always this is a general reading meant for multiple people so it might not resonates 100%. There are only three piles and a shit ton of you. Takes what resonates and leave out the rest.
Check out my pinned post for more pick a cards or to book a paid reading.
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PILE 1
Cards: 10 of Cups, King of Swords, 5 of Swords, the Chariot, the Empress, the Hanged Man, Queen of Cups, 4 of Pentacles, the High Priestess, Sweet Oblivion, Acceptance
Right now, you seem very preoccupied, by the idea of happiness and emotional fulfillment. I see you wanting more from life and not wanting to settle for your current circumstances. You are an idealist who wishes to enjoy life to its fullest, and I think that includes multiple areas of you life because you don't want to neglect any aspect of it.
But at the same time, there is this idea that your idea of ultimate happiness is an ideal, and ideals are not reality. Reality is uncertain and mysterious, we never know what's around the corner, and I think you're trying to get a hold of that by using your logic over your heart to try to understand and break down what it is you want from life. Truth is, when we want something, even when we get it, it never quite look like what we imagined, and that's quite a struggle when we want to control outcomes.
And I think you're fully aware of the fact that there are going to be some losses on your path towards this beautiful goal of yours. Perhaps you even have already experienced some. You might be wondering if that was all worth the effort in the end and feeling quite defeated on the inside. There might be frictions with you values and feeling like you have to sacrifice something dear to you.
However, despite these sour feelings, you feel like you have to stay determined to make it work and get out of the realm of what's known and comfortable. With the Chariot paired with the Empress, representing respectively Cancer and Venus, there is this idea of slow but unstoppable movement toward you ideal. It's really hard for you to let give up, unthinkable even. Both characters are crowned in stars, representing the hope for something better and the faith you have for yourself.
What you don't see, however, is that you are currently trapped in your own perspective and struggling to see things in a new angle. You are tied to the emotional baggage of your past and it's like you're trying to run away from the pain but you can't, you're stuck with it because its part of yourself, of your story. And I think to some extent you fail to see how these past emotions are affecting the way you see the situation. You learned to be very protective of your well-being, up to a fault because, right now, this inflexibility is creating struggle and pain where there is no need for it.
I also see that you're so focused on the prize that you're blinding yourself to everything else, which is part of why you are stuck in some way.
You advice regarding this situation is all about accepting that you cannot control everything, nor that you should. As we pointed out things will not always unfold the exact way you want them to, which is not necessarily a bad thing. You don't need to know everything, to see 10 steps ahead. It's okay to not know what you are doing, no one does. Yes you are doing that because you want to feel safe, but that's not how reality works. You can't trick your mind into thinking you have full control over your life, that's a delusion, and you're missing out on the mysterious adventure that is life.
So you need to let go a bit, surrender your desire for control and float through life with peace in your heart. What will be, will be. Some things cannot be changed with force and willpower alone. Some things are out of your control and all you can do is accept and let things unfold naturally. Right now you need to let loose a little and learn to have more faith in life and to trust that sometimes, the detours are exactly what we need to experience.
Key words: crisis of faith, winning at all costs, go big or go home, sunken cost fallacy, if i don't help myself then who will, crawling out of a hole, disillusionment, swimming against the current vs floating with it
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PILE 2
Cards: King of Cups, Empress, 7 of Pentacles, the Hermit, the High Priestess, 3 of Swords, Ace of Wands, 7 of Cups, 8 of Pentacles, the Hanged Man, 3 of Cups, 8 of Swords, Rebirth
What you're being asked to look at today, is your emotional balance and the emotional work you've done on yourself to nurture and repair. It seems you've been working at it for quite some time, steadily and patiently. You've been caring for yourself, healing, like a gardener working in his orchards day after day, waiting for the harvest to finally come.
And you did quite well it seems! A lot has been accomplished already. You've done the work and sought inner knowledge; with bravery you looked at every shadow, every past hurt, every trauma, and you've learnt so much from it. You really consciously took the matter into your own hands and were directly acting on your issues. It still hurts at time though and you might be wondering when it will cease to be painful. Truth is, you keep touching the wound so it's probably not helping. I see you quite stuck in waiting for this harvest, the harvest being the point where you feel finally free from all of this ready to seize life again.
You also went through a time of isolation that made you stronger, but I'm also getting that you're struggling to get out of that isolation mode out of comfort and fear mostly. Sometimes when we go through something hard, it makes us feel alienated from others, like it's hard to relate to the everyday problems of people who were lucky enough not to go through something traumatic. It can make you feel envious, or at the very least, a bit disgusted and void of interest to connect with those people, because they just don't get it, and honestly, some people lack the emotional intelligence necessary to handle people who suffered a lot…hence the isolation.
What you don't see, is that you're ruminating your problems and that it's past the point of being helpful. It's like you're going over it again and again and again, trying to see if you can find yet another answer that would end the search once and for all. You're clearly overthinking your feelings and obsessively trying to find a solution to something that has none. What is done is done. Yes you need to mourn, yes you need to let time and introspection sooth the pain, but at some point, the only thing left to do is to move forward again.
The advice regarding this is that you need to drastically change your ways. Flip the way you live on its head. The cards point at getting out of this isolation mode, because the only thing holding you back is yourself in this case. It's like you're scared of going out into the world. You might not feel ready. You might not feel strong enough. You might not feel adequate for this world. But it's not true, it's just another result of overthinking your past hurt. It's time to step out and connect with other people. Celebrate, have fun, laugh, connect with others sincerely and without fear of not being understood. Yes some people won't get it but you'll also be pleasantly surprised by others, and you won't know until you tried.
It's time to leave the old behind, the old being those past hurt you're so familiar with, and this way of being you became so used to contain yourself in. You've spent enough time in the cocoon, now is time to break free from it and spread your wings. It might not be easy in the beginning, you might need to learn to fly again and it will be scary, but it's so, so worth it.
So ask yourself what living your life fully looks like to you. If you were completely free if nothing was holding you back, what would you want to? What would you want to become? Switch the overthinking from the tiny box you stuck yourself in, to the expansiveness of a mind that wants to reach to every corner of the world. The sky is the limit and it's time you look up.
Key words: breaking the shell, chrysalis, rebirth, being stuck in a maze of your own creation, scared to open up, meaningful connections, sunlight, removing the bandage
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PILE 3
Cards: 6 of Pentacles, 6 of Swords, 2 of Cups, 2 of Swords, 2 of Pentacles, 10 of Cups, Page of Swords, 3 of Cups, 5 of Swords, 7 of Swords, 10 of Pentacles, 8 of Pentacles, the Great Goddess, Spirit of the Tree
The theme of your reading today is centered around the way you connect to others, be they people or spiritual forces.
More precisely, in the act of service you do for others, with a strong emphasis on keeping the balance in the exchange and the necessity to preserving the harmony between your thoughts and feelings.
With two 6 cards in this position, this highlights reflecting on the way you find the middle point in the way you give and receive your time and energy, but also what it costs you mentally and emotionally. This is a general reading so it's quite nebulous without context, but to some it could point at a specific relationship, or if you're someone who provides service for others, it could point at that, and it could also be relevant for those who do spiritual work.
In any case, what you're clear on in this situation, is that you've reached a point of no return. It's just no possible to keep doing things as you're doing them right now. You've been contemplating this recently and reached the conclusion that you can't make everyone happy at all costs, despite your desire for things to be perfect for all involved. You are sacrificing yourself in the process, to an extent that is not healthy for you. Exchanges between people are never fully balanced and that's just reality, but in the long run you should find some type of balance and not just giving yourself to keep everyone happy but yourself.
What you don't see in this situation is that you're getting the short hand of the stick when it doesn't have to be the case. If every interaction feels like a battle that you have to fight to sourly win, then was it really a win? Others can be here for you as well, for support and enjoyable shared moments. You should be able to all get something from this. If they never give you that, is it truly worth investing yourself in it?
There is a strong need for protecting your boundaries mentally as well. You don't see how letting others step all over you is detrimental to the way you perceive life. It maintains you in your little box where you need to expand your horizon. I think you somewhat lost that side of you. The side that seeks truth, that is strongly rooted in its individuality and critical mind. The you that seeks mental stimulation and adventurous ideas.
For the advice, you need to be honest with yourself because from what I understand, you do see the situation clearly, but for some reason, you're not acting on it. It's like you're lying to yourself a bit. You keep trying to make things work in this very unbalanced state, harming yourself in this task for the sake of others.
You need to look further and think of your abundance and legacy. What will you be remembered for? For what you did to others? It's very noble of you, but what about your enjoyment of life? What about your personal goals? What about what your heart desires?
Think of trees: we now know that despite being fully rooted in themselves and being whole and independent life forms, they do live in community and are able to communicate with each others across species and help each other. The big tree provides shade to the small plants, and the small plants keep the ground moist and fertile. They all benefit from this and create an ecosystem for all to live in.
You are being called to re-balanced things within you and in your life. To get to the root of this blockage you have regarding exchange and service in order to transform yourself. Perhaps what you're doing is actually detrimental to your ultimate goal, and being a bit more focused on yourself, selfish, even, would be the key for more stability.
Key words: giving and receiving, overworking yourself, beneficial selfishness, harmony between extremes, losing yourself in the work, waking up to what matters to you, long term goal, the wisdom of trees, creation and destruction
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perseephoneee · 7 months
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Can you do a isaac lahey imagine where the reader us on her period and freaks out and doesn't know what to do so lydia tells him what to do
hehe yes omg
period talk (isaac lahey x f!reader)
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warnings: fluff, period talk, dumb boy
a/n: try the drink mentioned if you want to imagine running through hogwarts on a winter day.
↳ masterlist ↳  want to be shipped with a fic character?
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Isaac wouldn't admit it, but he loved the cold weather. He liked when the winter season would hit, and holidays were a topic of conversation. Holidays were the only time his Dad treated him like he was actually proud of him, and despite that fucked up relationship, Isaac couldn't help but romanticize the season. It's why, when Beacon Hills hit a new low for the weather, he was excited to see you at school. Perhaps he could even convince you to skip class and get hot coco with him.
Unfortunately for him, your period had started therefore your mood was sour. The cold just added to your discomfort, and you basically hissed at him when he came by your locker.
"Woah, what did I do?" Isaac recoiled, a nervous laugh on his lips. You took a deep breath before turning and facing him.
"Nothing, you did nothing," you sighed. "I'm just...not doing great."
"Whats wrong?" Isaac inquired, brows furrowed and concern evident on his face. You loved your cute werewolf boyfriend, and while he was very helpful, he probably couldn't do much for you right now.
"I'm on my period," you admitted with a twinge of shame. Talking about these things was never fun, even to someone you trusted. A blush coated Isaac's cheeks as he processed what you said.
"Oh."
"Yeah."
"Should I, uh, do something?" Isaac stammered, hands in his pockets.
"Just be you, I'm a big girl and can handle myself," you chuckled, lightly slapping his arm as you closed your locker and started in the direction of class. Isaac stood in the hallway a moment longer, before deducing a game plan and targeting the area of the school he knew the familiar red head would be. She was typing on her phone when he ran up beside her, backpack slung lazily over his shoulder.
"I need your help," Isaac said hurridly, earning a squeak of surprise form Lydia. She set two angry eyes at him, and he resisted the urge to run away. Women did not like him much today.
"Stop sneaking up on me like that," Lydia rolled her eyes, putting her phone in her purse. "What is it?"
"Y/N is on her period, and I want to help, but I don't know what to do, and you're a girl and you're smart so I thought you'd have some ideas?" Isaac rushed, lips pressed in a thin line as Lydia cocked a brow at him.
"Why do you have to make everything so dramatic?" Lydia huffed, flipping her hair over her shoulder. Isaac sent her a look though that showed that he wasn't going to figure anything out, anytime soon. "Look, unless she asks for products, don't bother trying to buy her them-- you'll likely get the wrong ones anyway. Get her her favorite warm drink, a heating pad, blanket, maybe an activity or something calming."
"Drink, heating pad, blanket, activity, got it," Isaac listed out everything, brows scrunched together in concentration. "Anything else?"
"Yeah, during this time, she's always right. Even if you think she isn't, just agree that you're wrong and she's right. Otherwise, she'll claw your eyes out," Lydia crossed her arms, daring Isaac to challenge her. He stayed quiet though, and she loosened up her stance. "I have to go, have fun, don't get killed."
Isaac was never that great at social cues, but he really liked you, and that was enough. Ignoring the uncomfortable feeling taking pit in his stomach, he skipped out on school to go get the necessary things Lydia listed. Starting off with a butterbeer chai, a concoction you created (two pumps caramel, two pumps toffee, caramel drizzle, and chai); going to CVS for a heating pad and a blanket; then finally the bookstore down the street where he found a book you wanted (after searching through his phone for fifteen minutes trying to find the text where you mentioned wanting a new release). By the time he had finished his grand adventure, school was out and he would be able to surprise you.
You were having a crappy day with a side of more absolute garbage, so you were very pleasantly surprised when your golden hair boyfriend comes bounding up the street as you exit the school building.
"Woah, where's the fire?" you chuckle. You finally take notice of the bags he's carrying, as well as the drink.
"These are for you," Isaac stutters, passing you the drink. You peer in the bag and can't hide the grin on your face as you take in the plethora of supplies he got. "I know you weren't doing well, and I felt bad, so I got some stuff."
"Isaac, you are the sweetest puppy of a boyfriend a girl could ask for," you smile, wanting nothing more than to pick him up and twirl him around (he is too tall, you are too small). "How did you know what to get?"
"I asked Lydia," he mumbles, staring at his feet. You fight back a chuckle.
"Probably the smartest thing you could've done."
"That was my thought process as well," he chimes, scratching the back of his neck and shooting you a grin. You lean up, kissing him on the corner of his mouth and looping his arm through yours.
"C'mon, lets go hide from the cold together and I'll bitch to you about life," you chime, the cold dusting yours and Isaac's cheeks in shades of pink.
"Sounds perfect, just like you," Isaac smiles, kissing the top of your head as you walk off back home.
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flowerandblood · 4 months
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The Sin & The Penance
[ modern Frollo • Aemond x Esmeralda • female ]
[ warnings: sex content, smut, angst, revenge motive, description of physical and mental disabilities, remorse, depression, hysteria attacks, swearing, trauma, suicidal thoughts ]
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[ description: After a car accident, his brother has to deal with the consequences of what happened, and he, as his protector, does not know how to help him. His sister comes up with the idea of hiring someone as his carer who will be able to cheer him up and occupy his mind. It turns out, however, that the girl he hired charmed not only his younger brother. Obsession, self-destructive behavior, verbal and physical aggression, sexual tension, dark, malicious Aemond. ]
Author's note: This story is a request, but I decided to freely use what I liked in the book and Disney film to create a new, disturbing story taking place in modern times. It is intended to be uncomfortable and will contain scenes that are at least morally questionable, in my version "Esmeralda" is not Romanian. This story will also include motifs from Jane Eyre, which was a separate request. My story will also touch on the problems of people with disabilities, so if these are sensitive topics for you, I advise against reading further. You have been warned.
Part 1 − The Knight & The Judge Part 3 − The Doubt & The Delight Epilogue
Main Characters Moodboard Aemond NSFW Alphabet
* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *
Next chapters: Masterlist
_____
That night he could not sleep – he wriggled in bed, checking from time to time whether she had perhaps called him back or written anything. Although he had tried to reach her at least ten times she did not answer and he was afraid to write her a message.
What if she went to the police with this?
Maybe that's what he deserved, he thought after a while with regret, staring blankly at the bright screen of his phone, wondering if he should try again despite the late hour.
As much as he tried to find some logical justification for what he had done, he couldn't explain what had really driven him.
Admittedly, at first he was guided only by anger and spite, but then these emotions disappeared, replaced by a hot, dark desire that filled his loins, completely overshadowing his cool judgement.
Something about her brightness, her lightness, her joy, made him long to lean over her like the dark sky, like night over the stars, and cover her with his blackness, his emptiness, consuming and devouring her.
He had never experienced such a disturbing and overpowering sensation before and was horrified that he was prone to such thoughts and such actions.
He had completely lost his mind because of her.
She had asked him to let her go, so why didn't he do so?
Alys had always been eager for his aggressive, violent games, he knew that, and he felt no remorse about what he was doing to her or where, but this little girl was terrified, trembling all over with fear, and yet all he could think about was how desperately he needed to feel her.
Perhaps subconsciously her cheerfulness, her attitude attracted him.
Maybe after years of sadness and mourning he wanted to feel at last something more than grief.
He covered his eyes with his hand, sighing heavily at that thought, feeling a squeeze in his throat and heart.
He only fell into a restless sleep in the morning with his phone lying next to his face, and was awakened two hours later by his alarm clock anyway, which he switched off with displeasure, tired, sad and embarrassed by what he had done.
He couldn't look Daeron in the face as they ate breakfast together. His little brother looked up at him from over his bowl of his favourite cereal with milk – he knew he was about to start asking questions about her.
"When will Esmeralda come here to sew our costumes?" He asked finally, stirring the milk with his spoon, looking at the chocolate balls that floated on its surface.
He pressed his lips together, not knowing how to explain to him how much he had fucked up.
What he had done to her.
"I don't know if she'll even show up here again." He replied truthfully, Daeron gave him a quick, horrified look.
"She promised me. She promised me we'd sew them together and go to the ball." He muttered, his eyes filling with tears again.
He decided he wouldn't be so cruel as to let him believe it was her fault, though part of his mind opted for that.
"I know, but I hurt her and I'm afraid she won't forgive me." He said lowly, swallowing hard, fiddling with his coffee cup, not daring to look at him, his heart pounding like mad.
"What do you mean? Did you hit her?" He asked in disbelief, and he clenched his eyes, realising that in his childish mind the greatest harm a man could do to a woman was that he could slap her.
He was silent for a while, not sure how or if I should explain it to him, whether it would be too much.
"In a way. And I did something else, much worse. Against her pleas. I could go to jail for that." He muttered, covering his face with his hand, feeling that even though he hadn't eaten anything he felt sick to his stomach.
"Why did you do that? She's so kind. What did she do to you? Did you get angry with her because of me?" He mumbled through his tears. He felt a tightening in his throat at the thought that, like any child, he was trying to justify the adult in his head, deciding that after all he was smarter and more experienced than him, so his behaviour must have been because he, his little brother, had done something wrong.
"No. No, it didn't and doesn't have anything to do with you. This is our adult business, but she has the right to be very angry with me and not speak to me. However, I'm completely sure she doesn't blame you." He replied quickly, biting his lower lip.
It wasn't until he spoke it aloud that it occurred to him how pathetic, inappropriate and cruel what he had done was, how afraid she must have been of him.
Was she telling herself she liked it so she could somehow survive it? She decided to go along with it so she wouldn't suffer?
"Do you think I can call her?" He asked in a quivering voice, and he looked at him with his heart pounding fast, recognising in the back of his mind that it was an excellent thought, that she might want to at least talk to him.
"Yes. Yes, of course. I'll give you her number, but call her from your phone. She's not answering from me."
He stared feeling the cold sweat on his back at his brother's reflection in the mirror driving towards the centre, seeing as he pressed the numbers written on the piece of paper on the keypad of his phone and lifted it to his ear – he heard the quiet beep of a call waiting.
He shuddered as someone answered, trying to focus on the road, complete panic in his mind.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
"Hello? Hi, it's Daeron. Can you talk? No, he can't hear what you're saying, we're just driving to the centre." He muttered, and he swallowed loudly, feeling a constriction in his chest from which he found it hard to breathe, trying to erase from his mind the image of him slamming into her again and again with the brutal, sharp thrusts of his hips.
"He told me that he had done you wrong and that he had hurt you very badly. I'm very sorry he did that. I just wanted to ask when we're going to sew our costumes." He mumbled out quickly. He felt his eyebrows arch in shame and covered his mouth with his free hand, resting his elbow against his car door, looking ahead in disbelief.
How could he do this to her?
For a moment Daeron listened to what she was saying on the phone with concentration and he was dying inside, afraid that she would explain to him with details of what he had done to her. After a moment he nodded as if he understood what she meant, he saw his face lighten a little.
"Okay. Okay, I'll ask my brother if he agrees to it. Bye bye." He said softly and hung up, sighing heavily.
"And?" He asked looking at him in the mirror, stopping in the car park, feeling like he was about to go crazy. His brother looked down at his fingers.
"Esmeralda said that after your argument she can no longer come to our house, but that I can come to her at the University. She said that the building is modern and wheelchair accessible, there are special toilets, lifts and everything needed. We could do my homework in her room in the dormitory and then walk around the campus, sewing and painting." He said uncertainly, glancing at him pleadingly. He swallowed loudly, feeling disappointed and at the same time understanding of her decision and grunted softly, turning off the engine.
"Would you like that?" He asked him calmly, and his brother nodded quickly.
"Then so be it."
Despite his requests, Daeron refused to tell him which of the boys had called him Quasimodo.
He said that it didn't matter now.
He thought with regret that his younger brother had more maturity and calmness in himself than he did.
Sitting at work he was all nerves, he had not received any notification that anyone had filed a police report on him, so for some reason, perhaps out of fear, she had not done so.
He felt both relieved and ashamed at the same time, unable to look at himself, thinking that he was not only disgusting on the outside but also on the inside.
When Alys suggested that they go to the toilet for a while he simply agreed, feeling that he needed to lash out, to expel the grief, shame and desperation that seemed to fill his whole body.
He turned her body violently with her back to him, thinking with fatigue that he didn't want to look at her face. As he unzipped his trousers he tried to focus on what he saw in front of him, on her panties lowered halfway down her thighs, her entrance sticky with arousal. He closed his eyes and grasped his cock firmly in his hand, giving it a few aggressive, hard strokes.
As much as he tried, he couldn't stop thinking about her sweet moans, about how wonderful she smelled, about how tight she was, about her body convulsing in his embrace.
He got instantly hard, wasted no time and surprised his lover, who moaned with delight at feeling how direct and exceptionally violent he was this day, his thrusts full of desperation and aggression, his groans low and throaty.
Something was wrong – her insides were different, her buttocks were different, her scent was different, too intense, her moans too deep, too sensual, not as innocent and surprised as hers.
He pressed his lips together feeling he couldn't focus or get as much pleasure out of it as he would have liked.
"− shut the fuck up −" He growled speeding up but it was to no avail – when he opened his eyes he saw a completely different woman in front of him. He slowed down, swallowing loudly, feeling that nothing would come of it.
"− fucking bastard − ah, don't stop − what happened? − did I do something wrong? −" She asked as he slid out of her and fastened his zipper in a quick motion, furious, disappointed, humiliated, distraught that he wanted her, this little girl, her moans, her scent, her touch, her gaze, her tight, weeping cunt, being able to spend whole nights with his face sunk between her thighs, begging her forgiveness, muttering between the flicks of his tongue that he would make it all up to her.
"− no − I'm sorry, it's my fault −" He said lowly, not wanting to lash out at her. She grunted quietly, surprised, putting her lacy underwear and trousers back on over her hips, fastening them with a quick, nimble movement.
"− you seem stressed − something wrong? − do you want to talk? −" She asked softly, and he felt a kind of gratitude that she hadn't laughed at him or judged him, that she had acted as if nothing had happened.
He decided, however, that he didn't want to share his thoughts with her.
"− no − forgive me − have a nice day −" He said calmly, opening the cubicle door and left the restroom, moving down the corridor in front of him, clenching his eyelids, brushing his short, slicked-back hair with a quick movement.
What had happened between them, what he had done to her had left a mark on more than just her.
He felt as if he had woken up from a lethargy after five years, everything around him was sharper and brighter, painfully clear.
The next morning, according to the arrangements made between her and Daeron, he was to turn up in the car park outside the University from where she was to pick up his brother.
He dreaded this meeting, dreaded what he would see in her face, disgust, regret and bitterness, all the way to the place he felt like stopping and throwing up.
He felt a shudder and a loud pounding of his heart when they arrived at the agreed spot and he noticed her, standing between the cars dressed in a fitted strapless dress with daisies on it, her beautiful hair the scent of which he could still smell in his nostrils loose, trainers on her feet.
He stopped, swallowing hard, unbuckling his seatbelt and getting out, glancing at her – she stood at a safe distance from them and looked away, playing with the fingers of her hands, thoughtful and sad.
What he saw hurt him even more than if she had been staring at him with hatred.
He walked around the car and took out Daeron's wheelchair to which he helped him move from the back seat – his little brother beamed at the sight of her and began to move the wheels himself heading towards her. He saw with regret that she smiled warmly when she saw him, genuine joy on her face.
"Hi. High five!" She said to him cockily and their hands hit each other in the air, even though he was standing a few steps away she didn't give him a single glance.
"So, shall we go?" She asked encouragingly, and Daeron nodded.
He wanted to ask if she was sure he would be safe here, if she would remember to take him to lunch, if she would watch out for him, but he didn't dare, shame took his speech away.
He decided it would be better if he kept quiet and led them away with his gaze, then got into his car and drove to work.
He spent all day thinking about her, sitting over the case files recalling again and again her appearance, her pleasant figure, her warm face that beamed all over at the sight of his younger brother.
Why did she have to be like this?
Why did she have to be what he craved, the personification of his deepest, darkest needs, a ripe peach that someone had placed in front of him on a platter while he was starving?
When he arrived after work to pick up Daeron they both stood in the distance, said their goodbyes, and she turned away without even bestowing a single glance on him. He got out of the car, intent on helping his brother into the back seat.
"And how was it?" He asked lowly, feeling sadness and emptiness, anxiety and a strange tightening in his stomach.
"Great! We studied together in her room and then she showed me around the whole campus. We even looked in the classroom where the students were painting portraits and she told me a bit about how it was done. Everyone was very friendly." He said quickly, clearly excited and pleased. He swallowed hard, sighing softly as he folded his wheelchair and threw it back into the boot.
"Have you eaten anything?" He asked calmly, returning to the driver's seat, buckling his seatbelt and turning on the engine.
"Yes, we had lunch in the university canteen. I could choose whatever I wanted." He said with satisfaction, a wide smile on his face.
He felt like asking him if she had mentioned anything about him, if she had anything to convey to him, but realised that there was nothing she might want to tell him.
She was doing this to keep her word to Daeron.
For a few weeks it seemed to him that he had locked himself in some kind of circle, looking forward to Tuesdays and Thursdays, days during which he would see her, albeit only from a distance, her figure bright and graceful.
He wondered with pain if she still had the bruises on her neck that his lips had left and swallowed loudly, feeling ashamed that his manhood reacted to that thought with a strong throbbing in his trousers.
He had suspected it before, but now he was absolutely sure.
He was fucking mad.
On the day the carnival ball was to be held, he was supposed to drive Daeron to the centre and pick him up after a few hours, but he decided that it wouldn't be worth going home for such a short time and he would just wait for them somewhere off to the side without bothering them.
As he pulled up in front of the building he swallowed heavily, seeing her from a distance, already dressed in her Esmeralda costume, her dark, loose hair tied with a violet scarf to form a headband, bells tied to her purple skirt, simple black ballerinas on her feet, round gold earrings in her ears, clanking bracelets on her wrists.
However, what drew his attention most was her white, buff long-sleeved shirt, tucked into the the sea-colored corset under her breasts that wonderfully emphasized her waist, it's sleeves lowered so that her shoulders were bare, it was slit down in the middle, showing the bare skin of her chest.
He swallowed loudly, looking away, feeling with horror that the very sight of it made him hard.
He grunted, helping Daeron out of the car and moved behind him, guessing that she wasn't going to help his brother dress after all, not wanting to invade his privacy.
"You really look like Esmeralda! So beautiful!" Exclaimed his younger brother, and she turned gracefully raising her hands with a clink of her bells and bracelets, showing off her costume in all its glory.
He couldn't take his eyes off her.
"Where's my costume?!" He asked excitedly, and she picked up the large paper bag that stood next to her feet and smiled.
"Here. Let's go." She said lightly without looking at him, Daeron immediately pushed the wheels of his wheelchair and headed after her.
He moved behind them, feeling like an intruder, looking everywhere but at her, trying not to think about the sight of her partially exposed back.
She explained to him quickly what needed to be put on first and how – he was impressed that what she had made really did look like golden armour, but when he took out the individual pieces they turned out to be surprisingly light.
He locked himself and Daeron in one of the toilet cubicles, helping him to change, his brother looking extremely pleased.
"Are you two reconciled?" He asked, clearly thinking that since she was speaking to him again she had forgiven him. He swallowed loudly, not knowing how to explain to him that what he had done could not simply be taken back.
"I don't think so. But don't think about it. Hm?" He asked softly and he lowered his gaze, disappointed.
The sight of himself in the armour gave him confidence – it appeared that the whole thing had been designed so that he could flex his arms, elbows and wrists, the parts fitted together.
He thought with a pained grin that she had really made an effort.
"You look great. What a real knight you are. Come, it's time for you to dance a little with your beautiful Esmeralda." He said calmly, opening the door for him. He wheeled out into the corridor with a smile, his Esmeralda catching her cheeks with a wide smile of delight.
"My knight. Promise to protect me from the evil thugs!" She called out theatrically and glared at him – he swallowed loudly, turning his face away in shame, his younger brother assuring her that he would not let anyone hurt her.
Too late, he thought.
For some reason, he felt tears under his eyelids, his throat squeezed so tight he had trouble breathing.
He watched as they moved ahead into a large gymnasium where the lights were slightly dim, a disco ball was spinning on the ceiling, Girls Just Want To Have Fun by Cyndi Lauper was playing in the background, children and their caretakers spinning around, dressed as various characters and creatures.
Although many of the costumes looked quite impressive, he couldn't take his eyes off her – as she danced she sang the lyrics of the song with theatrical devotion as if she knew them by heart, her hair, bracelets and earrings glistened in the light of the multi-coloured lights, the sweat on the bare skin of her exposed arms glittered like little crystals.
He looked at her leaning with his back against the wall with his hands folded in front of him, feeling the heat in his lower abdomen, covering up what was happening in his trousers.
He looked around the room and noticed a group of boys looking at her and Daeron. He frowned, wondering if they were the ones calling his brother Quasimodo.
He felt some kind of satisfaction at the thought that they were watching his brother dance with a pretty girl.
He really deserved her.
Such a good kid.
He left after a while, pulling a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket – even though he hadn't smoked in months and was trying to quit, he felt that what was happening was too much for him.
His hands trembled as he put the cigarette in his mouth and lit it with his lighter, taking a loud drag, closing his eyes, clenching his fingers on the base of his nose.
There was only chaos in his head.
"We need to talk." He heard her soft, trembling voice and turned around immediately, taking a few steps away, for some reason terrified by her sudden proximity.
He stared at her with his lips slightly parted, his body froze still, his heart pounding like mad, his cigarette burning slowly between his fingers.
God, she was pregnant.
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
"I can no longer take care of Daeron. I just wanted to keep my promise and go to the ball with him. I think he's had enough disappointments in his life and I didn't want to provide him with any more." She said shivering all over, looking everywhere but at him – he felt like he was about to vomit from terror and grief.
What?
"But…if I'm the problem, we can arrange it so that I bring him in a while early and you pick him up from under the main entrance. I'll pay you more." He muttered, completely surprised by her words, not knowing what to say, not wanting to imagine how his little brother would react.
She shook her head quickly at his words, fiddling with the bracelets on her wrists in a nervous gesture.
"I can't. He reminds me of you. You two are similar in appearance." She mumbled and burst out crying, drawing in air loudly, covering her face with her hand in an attempt to calm herself. He looked at her in disbelief, feeling his voice get stuck in his throat.
"I haven't told anyone about what you did to me, because in his eyes you are his authority. I don't want to put him through unnecessary suffering, but I expect you to come up with something and find some convincing explanation as to why I can't continue to take care of him, Mr Prosecutor." She muttered regretfully wiping her cheeks swollen from tears, struggling to catch her breath, her plump lips parted, her eyebrows arched in despair.
He didn't know when he fell to his knees in front of her, when he clasped his hands around her waist, dropping his cigarette to the ground – he pressed his face to her womb, breathing loudly, feeling like he was going through some kind of panic, his lungs compressed, tears streaming down his face one after another, everything around him seemed to spin.
"− I'm sorry − I'm sorry − I'm sorry − I'm sorry − I'm sorry − I'm sorry − please, please, forgive me −" He mumbled hysterically what he had wanted to say to her for weeks – he heard her gasp loudly in shock, raising her hands in a gesture of helplessness, felt her place them on his shoulders trying to gently push him away, her stomach trembled under his face in sobs.
"− l-let me go − please, get up −" She whimpered pleadingly, but he shook his head – he thought he couldn't do it, he couldn't let her go.
"− I need you − even if for the rest of my life I will only look at you from afar −" He exhaled helplessly, sinking his nose into the material of her soft skirt, feeling her wonderful scent fill his lungs again, the warmth of her body that enveloped his face.
He didn't care that the people around them were looking at them like they were crazy, didn't care that perhaps they knew who he was.
"− I can't − I've tried − I've forgiven you, but I can't forget − you robbed me of my dignity −" She said in a raspy, broken voice – he felt himself whooping with his own tears, clasping his fingers at her back, his helpless mumbling ripped from his throat as if without the participation of his free will.
"− do what you want with me − fucking destroy me −"
"Aemond? What's going on?" He heard his brother's frightened voice and immediately rose from his knees, letting her go, both of them wiping their faces quickly, her cheeks pale and at the same time red from tears.
"We needed to talk. I'll be right back." She said quickly, forcing herself to smile – Daeron could sense the tension between them though, his lips tightened, his gaze wandering from him to her.
"Have you…reconciled yet? Has my brother apologised to you?" He asked uncertainly and she nodded and laughed lightly, something in her response made him clench his eyelids and swallow loudly – he covered his face with his hand, feeling that for some reason he couldn't stop crying.
You robbed me of my dignity.
"− y-yes − yes, we've already explained everything to each other, we simply got a little emotional − come on, let's go back inside −" She said softly and stroked his head – he smiled at her and glanced over his shoulder.
"Are you coming?" He asked, but he shook his head, choking out that he would wait for them in the car.
He locked himself inside in the driver's seat and put his forehead on the steering wheel, feeling an overpowering emptiness and this awful, terrifying chill, as if someone had gouged out his insides with a spoon like the flesh of a fruit, leaving only a mere shell.
He thought that he had died five years ago, on the day of that accident.
He only existed so that Daeron could live on.
He shuddered, as if awakened from a deep, restless slumber, hearing a knock on the window on his side – he glanced there and saw Daeron waving at him and his Esmeralda, looking at him uncertainly, terrified of his condition, dark night all around them.
He got out of the car, massaging his forehead, feeling a terrible headache, not being sure for a moment where he actually was or what time it was – in an automatic reflex he opened the back door and helped Daeron get in, he could smell her scent beside him, her gaze fixed on him.
"Are you sure you should drive?" She asked hesitantly, and he swallowed loudly, thinking that since the day of that accident he had never gotten into a car that someone else was driving.
"Yes. Shall I drive you back?" He asked lowly, not looking at her, folding Daeron's small wheelchair.
"No need, thank you, I'll get an Uber." She muttered, his younger brother furrowed his brow, looking at her worriedly.
"We'll drive you back. It's late, you shouldn't be going home alone." He insisted.
She sighed quietly and nodded, walking around the car, sitting down next to Daeron in the back seat.
He got behind the wheel and started the engine, involuntarily glancing at her in the mirror – their gazes met, her eyes sad and tired, full of a regret she had every right to feel.
He drove ahead, trying to wake up and focus on the road, looking at the lights of the cars passing him and thought that maybe if he had killed them it would have been better for all of them.
He grunted loudly, tilting his head back, leaning against the backrest, recognising that he had completely lost his mind, that he was sinking into depression and hysteria, that he had reached the very bottom.
It seemed to him that she sensed that something was happening to him – he was catching her on the fact that she was glancing at him uncertainly, answering something to Daeron who was chatting her up, talking about his friends' costumes. She was just nodding, pretending to listen to him, her hands playing with the material of her skirt in a nervous gesture.
God, how he longed for her to drive with him to their house, to go with him to his bedroom, so that he could kneel before her and whisper how sorry he was, how he wished he could make it all right, to slide with his hands the material of her shirt and her skirt, so that his lips could kiss her whole beautiful, warm body with devotion and adoration, her feet, her calves, her thighs, her stomach, her breasts, her neck, her face, her….
"WATCH OUT!" He heard her scream of terror and pressed the brake suddenly, at the last moment stopping in front of a crossroads where he should have given way to those driving on his right and left – a man almost rammed into them and started honking at them, gesticulating aggressively, opening his window and shouting, asking what the fuck he was doing.
He looked quickly in the mirror, feeling as if he was deaf, his brother was crying loudly, snuggled into her, shaking with fear, her eyes wide, staring at him in horror.
"… are you all right?" He asked dully, feeling like his head was spinning – he saw her nod quickly, and then suddenly he went dark in front of his eyes, his head dropped limply and hit something hard.
He was awakened by someone's conversation. He felt someone touching him, something pleasantly warm enveloped him – his body was lying on something soft and comfortable, he thought he was lying on the sofa in his house.
"− overwork, dehydration, stress, trauma − anything could have caused this, ma'am − when can his sister come? −" An unfamiliar voice asked.
"− his younger brother called her, but she only managed to buy a plane ticket for tomorrow −" He heard her soft, warm voice – he shuddered and opened his eyes with difficulty, wanting to see her, to make sure nothing had happened to her.
He spotted her blurred silhouette in the warm light of the night lamp – she was sitting next to him on the sofa in his living room, still dressed in her Esmeralda costume.
"− can you stay here until she arrives? − are you a friend of the family? −" Asked the man who was apparently a paramedic, packing his suitcase and pulling off his latex gloves. She nodded.
"− y-yes − yes, I'm his little brother's carer −" She replied calmly, the man and she both glanced at him when they noticed he was awake.
"− how are you feeling, sir? − you had a panic attack and fainted − I have given you intravenous sedatives and strengthening medications, you should feel better soon −" The man with the black beard, surely a few years older than him, said to him.
He grunted quietly as he tried to raise himself up on his elbows, feeling everything around him swirl and lay back, giving up.
"− fuck − I'm dizzy −" He muttered, his stomach sore and clenched.
She rose from her seat as the doctors left Daeron's room, sighing heavily in relief when the woman explained that he had only been scared.
"Aemond!" He shouted when he saw that he was awake, riding up to him in his wheelchair, wiping his face red from tears.
"− I thought − I thought you had died − you weren't moving − w-we couldn't wake you up −" He mumbled, and he hugged his head to his chest, closing his eyes, stroking his soft hair with his large hand.
"− I'm sorry − I'm so sorry − I've been working too much lately and I fainted −" He lied, swallowing loudly, his brother nodding his head in understanding, cuddling into him like a teddy bear. He kissed his temple, feeling tears well up in his eyes.
He thought he needed to pull himself together.
"− Esmeralda said she would stay with us until Helaena arrives − now it's up to us to take care of you − lie here and don't worry about a thing −" He said in a voice hoarse from crying and patted his head – he felt a tightness in his throat at his words, his eyebrows arched in emotion, he smiled involuntarily, feeling his lower lip tremble.
"− then I'm in good hands −"
He watched wordlessly as the doctors and medics left their house, Daeron showing his Esmeralda where she could find clothes to change into – she appeared a few minutes later in his long black hoodie reaching halfway down her thighs, her legs wonderfully bare.
She bustled around the kitchen with Daeron, trying to make dinner – he couldn't get out of his awe at what a harmonious duo they were, his brother talking to her without shame or embarrassment.
If he had been wiser, if he had given her a chance then instead of humiliating her, maybe now they would be preparing dinner together.
He rose to sit down when she brought him tea and sandwiches, thanking her meekly. He sighed heavily feeling he wouldn't swallow anything and although the medications were starting to work, he felt like his head was going to burst.
She only returned to the living room after she had helped Daeron change into his pyjamas and put him to bed. She approached him hesitantly and sat down next to him on the couch, not looking at him but at the floor.
"How are you feeling?" She asked quietly, covering her knees with the material of his sweatshirt.
He looked at her, silent for a long moment.
"Exactly as I should after what I did." He replied finally, not knowing how else he was supposed to call what he was feeling.
She looked at him with her eyebrows furrowed in pain, regret and sadness in her gaze, but at the same time also some kind of concern.
He thought in disbelief that his fate mattered to her despite what he had done to her.
She lowered her gaze to her knees, fiddling with the material that covered her thighs in a nervous gesture.
"He needs you composed. Emotionally stable." She said sadly, her lips trembling.
He stared at her face unable to take his eyes off her, thinking only of how much he wanted to touch her, dreaming of her hugging him and locking him in her arms.
"I know." He said dryly, understanding exactly what she meant.
He couldn't be unpredictable, distracted while driving in the car, at work and on a daily basis.
Could not be distracted by her.
"Why did you do it? Then when I wanted to leave?" She finally asked in a voice quivering with grief, and looked at him, the depth of disappointment, sadness and emptiness in her bright eyes.
He licked his lower lip dry with stress and swallowed hard, feeling his heart pounding like mad as he stared straight into her face.
"Because I wanted to feel you. You were so sweet and soft. You were melting in my hands. I couldn't stop." He muttered at last, feeling with shame how pathetic that explanation was, thinking he was just a fucking pervert.
He drew in a loud breath as she slid the blanket off him and sat on top of him, pressing her buttocks against what was under his trousers – he wanted to grab her hips, feeling a rush of adrenaline from disbelief, but she grabbed his wrists.
"No. Don't touch me. If I feel your hands on my body I'll start screaming. I will tell Daeron everything you did to me and that you tried to do it a second time." She said with a seriousness from which his breath caught in his throat; he immediately placed his hands as before on either side of his body, watching in disbelief as her tiny fingers undid his button and zipper, his cock immediately swelled and began to pulsate, a loud shuddering sigh escaped his lips.
God, was she really going to do this?
As if in response to his thoughts, she spread the material of his trousers to the side and slid his boxers down, revealing his throbbing erection, twitching with lust, the head of it pink and glistening. He pressed his lips together and closed his eyes, swallowing loudly when he felt her grab it's base with a gentle flick of her hand and direct its thick tip between her warm thighs.
She had no underwear underneath.
She lowered herself onto him a tiny bit, barely sinking the fat head of his cock inside her, teasing him with the lewd click of her moisture – the sight of him stretching her slit and how wet she was turned him on so much that a low, helpless groan escaped his throat.
"− be quiet or I'll stop − do you want me to stop? − you didn't give me that choice, but I'm not that cruel −" She said with regret as he shook his head quickly, feeling how desperate he was to feel her again.
"− please −" He heard his own pathetic voice, not believing he was allowing it, but he no longer cared what she would do to him, he wanted to fuck her in any way she would let him.
He felt some relief at the thought of being humiliated, he wanted her to do to him what he did to her even though he knew she didn't have his awful nature.
"− what are you asking me to do? −" She whispered softly, almost tenderly, as if her superiority over him was giving her back what he had taken from her, her power over her own body, over what was happening to her.
"− use me −" He breathed out in a voice hoarse with emotion, saw that something had changed in her gaze, her lips parted in a shuddering breath.
He clasped his hands on the fabric of the couch and leaned his head back, gasping out loud as he felt her let him all the way inside her, his hard, fat cock throbbed aggressively with desire squeezed wonderfully by her hot, tight walls – he knew he was embarrassingly close to fulfilment and that she felt it too.
She put her hands on his shoulders, leaning over him, but not moving, waiting for his manhood to stop twitching inside her – her pretty, flushed face surrounded by her dark, shiny curls, her bright eyes fixed on him, her plump, swollen lips parted in a quickened breath.
"− use you? − mr. prosecutor wants to make me feel good? −" She asked in a whisper, her voice trembling with fear and arousal, as if she herself was shocked by what she was doing and by the fact that he was listening to her, by the way he was responding to her, by how much he desired her.
"− yes −" He mumbled out and closed his eyes with a low moan, feeling that with flick of her hips she slowly slid his cock out of her only to push it back in with a loud click of her wetness.
"− why? −" She exhaled, moving on top of him painfully slowly, her tight fleshy muscles giving him a wonderful squeeze each time she forced him back between her plushy folds, they both began to breathe louder and louder. He bent his legs at the knees, involuntarily tentatively responding to her thrusts with deep stabs of his hips.
"− God, don't you see that I crave you? −" He groaned low, with the last of his strong will restraining himself from tightening his hands on her buttocks and forcing her to move faster.
There was something wonderful about this slow agony, in the way she teased him, rubbing herself at the spot from which she felt the greatest pleasure, a sweet moan escaped her lips at his words.
"− are you always like this when you see me? − like you are now between my thighs? −" She mumbled in embarrassment, speeding up, their naked bodies began to slam against each other with splats of her moisture – he dared to buck into her harder, they both began to pant loudly, looking at each other with their mouths wide open, her lips puffy with desire.
"− of course − I jerk off every day thinking about you − fuck −" He muttered with difficulty, feeling the tickle and heat in his lower abdomen, his cock swelling with desire so much that he felt like it was about to explode if he didn't come inside her, their naked bodies slamming against each other.
He delighted in the sight of her throwing her head back at his words, her hot core pulsed hard around him, sucking him inside, her fingers clenched on the material of his sweatshirt, her buttocks slapping loudly against his thighs, soaking him all over.
"− touch me − touch me −" She cried out and he caught her quickly, one of his hands weaved into her hair and pressed her face against his, their lips joined in an aggressive, thirsty, sticky kiss, the fingers of his other hand clenched on the soft, firm skin of her ass.
They moaned loudly into each other's mouths as he began to pound into her like mad, almost not sliding out of her anymore – he embraced her and hugged her body to his, gripping her around the waist, her hands stroking his cheeks, his neck, his scar, his cock thrusting into her weeping folds twitching and throbbing like crazy.
"− fuck − fuck, baby, m gonna cum −" He babbled between the flicks of their lips, tongues and teeth. She gasped and came at his words with a loud mewl of surprise – he felt her moisture run down her thighs onto his lower abdomen, her muscles began to clench on him greedily, squeezing him wonderfully. He threw his head back and moaned in relief when he felt his warm seed spurt out inside her.
"− oh God − oh my fucking God −" He mumbled, experiencing such an intense orgasm for the first time in his life – for a moment he went dark before his eyes, he could see or hear nothing, there was only the wonderful hot pleasure spilling over his whole body, his hands clenched on her hot skin.
He hugged her close, snuggling her face into the hollow of his neck, covering their bodies with his blanket, not wanting Daeron to accidentally find them in this position, while having no intention of changing it.
He felt wonderful.
He stroked her soft hair placing tender, wet kisses on her temple, his other hand trailing reassuringly down her back, feeling that she was trembling all over with emotion, unsure as he was of what had really happened between them.
"− sleep here, little one − I won't touch you against your will − I promise −" He whispered, but her silence answered him – she breathed loudly along with him, lying still, his half-soft manhood still throbbing deep inside her.
"− I know −" She replied quietly after a moment, rising on her shoulders, sliding him out of her with a soft motion of her hips, his hands clasped helplessly on her thighs.
"− please, don't go −" He muttered, looking at her in horror, his heart pounding like mad.
Please, let me go.
"− I'm sorry −"
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Please, let me go.
She rose from the couch, trembling all over, covering her thighs with his sweatshirt, his semen mingled with her moisture ran down her naked skin.
"− I'll sleep in the free room next to Daeron's bedroom − I'll lock myself in − don't come to me and don't ever touch me again − we're even −" She said in a calm, quivering voice full of sorrow, sadness and emptiness.
He wanted to touch her fingers but she turned and left the living room, hiding her face in her hand as if she was crying again, disappearing down the corridor.
He lay looking dully at the spot where she had stood just a moment before, feeling a squeeze in his throat – with trembling hands he slipped his boxers back on and zipped up his trousers, feeling tears of disappointment running down the sides of his face onto the pillow under his head.
We're even.
_____
Aemond Taglist:
(bold means I couldn't tag you)
@notnormalthings-blog @nikstrange @zenka69 @bellaisasleep @k-y-r-a-1 @g-cf2020 @melsunshine @opheliaas-stuff @chainsawsangel @iiamthehybrid @tinykryptonitewerewolf @namoreno @malfoytargaryen @qyburnsghost @aemondsdelight @persephonerinyes @fan-goddess @sweethoneyblossom1 @watercolorskyy @randomdragonfires @apollonshootafar @padfooteyes @darylandbethfanforever9 @fudge13 @snh96 @rwdkarla @echos-muses
261 notes · View notes
scorpiussage · 9 months
Text
The Robin to My Batman (Neil Lewis/Fem!OC)
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Pairing: Neil Lewis/Fem!OC 
Summary: A comic book store opens up next to Gumshoe Video prompting a hot and heavy feud between the two businesses and their nerdy owners. 
Theme: Romance - Enemies to Lovers 
Warnings: Nerds being nerds, smut 
The early morning walks to open Gumshoe Video are always enjoyable for Neil. He loves getting coffee from that family owned Armenian coffee shop down the street, greeting the old man who owns the hardware store across the street, and contemplating what the day’s theme should be. 
However, his gorgeous, peaceful morning comes to a screeching halt as he spots a large moving truck parked in front of Gumshoe— no, parked in front of the vacant store to the left of his. He quickly darts into the alleyway across the street and watches with mounting horror as some—so far unrecognizable—new business moves in. 
“No no no no no,” Neil mutters to himself, already picturing the worst case scenario. What if it’s a competing video store? Or perhaps on of those Christian shops that sells over priced bible themed tchotchkes? Both are miserable possibilities and he has no idea what he’ll do if either of those ends up being the case. 
When the coast is clear of movers, Neil goes sprinting into his store and making a made dash for the phone to call his friends. 
He has a bad feeling about this. 
The first time he sees her is at the grand opening of Golden Age Comics, the new comic book store next door. The first thing he sees when he walks in isn’t the life sized cutouts of various comic book characters placed strategically about nor the wall display of rare figurines. 
No, the first thing he sees is her, Bailey Taylor, the owner of the shop. She’s dressed like Wonder Woman, displaying these long shapely legs that have Neil’s jaw going slack in awe. She flutters about the store, greeting customers and advertising the big grand opening sale she’s running. 
Johnathan and Lucien, who came into the store with him, start needling each other excitedly, muttering about how hot she is and Neil can only feel dread. This can only spell bad news, he just knows it. 
Not at all like a coward, he quickly flees the store before she can approach him. 
The first time he actually meets Bailey, she comes into his shop. Today Gumshoe is having a deal on westerns and so Neil is dressed accordingly as a cowboy. When she walks into his store, it creates a rather comical juxtaposition as it appears her own store is having a sale on Japanese manga. 
Sailor Moon Bailey and Cowboy Neil stare each other down. 
“Um, hi,” she greets with an awkward little wave, her smile bright despite the uncomfortable mood, “I own the comic book store next door. My name is Bailey.” 
Neil nods stiffly, doing everything in his power to not stare at how hot she looks in that cosplay. When Neil fails to respond, an irritatingly adorable frown mars her features 
“Okay,” she mutters to herself before saying, “Well, I just wanted to see if you’d be willing to do a team-up and have a collaborative sale.” 
Neil scoffs, “And what? Hock old Adam West Batman tapes?”
She perks up and nods enthusiastically, “Yes! Exactly! I actually have this really great id-.”
Neil shudders at the thought and cuts her off before she can get going, “The old Batman show is absolute garbage in its cinematic delivery— no way would I subject my customers to that.” 
The glare she gives him could cut steel and admittedly makes his happy bits stir in interest. 
“Garbage?” She snarls, “That show was a pioneer for superhero media! Just because some over hyped alcoholic wife beater didn’t direct it, doesn’t mean it’s not good!” 
Neil’s eyes narrow at her and he crosses his arms, trying to appear more authoritative than he usually looks, “Oh believe me, the director has nothing to do with the bad editing and poor visual shots!” 
The woman looks like she’s visibly holding herself back from launching herself over the counter and decking Neil in the face. His cock makes another inappropriate twitch at the thought and he internally scolds himself for these reactions. 
Without another word, Bailey storms out of the store and stomps her way back to her own shop and Neil breathes a sigh of relief. 
God, he really needs to get laid if some uneducated comic dork is getting him riled up. 
After that disastrous first encounter, a Cold War of sorts settles over the two businesses. If Neil is having a sale, Bailey will have a better one. If Neil does a midnight showing of a movie, Bailey hosts a free-to-join D&D party. If Neil dressed up, Bailey does too but does it better. 
It’s aggravating. 
Neil doesn’t even know what it is about her that has him going absolutely insane, but it’s beginning to be a problem. For instance, last week she dressed up like Cat Woman and strutted about both in and out of her store, placing herself in full view of Neil boredly manning the register of his own shop. He had to go and jerk off in his office like five times; and he was still horny afterwards!
Like he said— problem. 
And it’s only getting worse. 
“Dude, oh my god! She’s dressed like a school girl today!” Johnathan says while rushing into the shop, a lecherous grin on his face, “Her skirt is so short!” 
Lucien cheers and Neil rams his head onto the surface of the checkout counter repeatedly. 
He’s gonna die horny and infuriated by her subpar taste in cinema, it’s inevitable. 
Lucien just gives him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder and leaves him to his melancholy while he and Johnathan go next door. 
“Ugh what do I do?!” He laments pathetically to himself. 
The second interaction that Neil has with Bailey happens on a slow night for both businesses. 
Neil is parked on the shop couch, watching Lady in the Lake and barely staying awake when she comes into his shop. She’s dressed normal today in a worn Captain Marvel t-shirt and denim shorts and he’s a little too tired to properly hide the slow up and down he gives her. 
A little blush settles on her face when she catches him doing that. 
“Slow night?” She asks after clearing her throat awkwardly. 
“Yeah, you?” 
Bailey blows a raspberry and nods, walking over to the couch and throwing herself down onto it next to Neil. He quickly scoots over, giving her room while trying to smooth his shirt and hair down to look less like a mess. 
“What are we watching?” She asks. 
Things sort of devolve from there. Whether it was one innocent comment taken the wrong way, or an intentional dig, it prompts a fresh new screaming match between the two of them over the cinematic quality of the Adam West Batman series. This woman will not let go of that trash TV series, Neil realizes.
Bailey gets up from the couch at some point, Neil hot on her heels as they move their heated argument about the store. It’s when they’re next to the wall that Neil pushes her against the surface and pins her arms high above her. He’s not thinking when he kisses her, pushing his tongue into her mouth to taste her— he’s running purely on adrenaline and instinct. 
That first kiss they share is not a gentle one; it’s rough and filthy and hot. 
“You are such a brat,” Neil bites out scathingly, his hands slipping away from her wrists to start running over her chest, cupping those perky tits of hers in his hands. 
“You are an obnoxious tool!” She sneers in return, her now free hands making quick work of his belt buckle and the button on his jeans. 
“I can’t believe how terrible your taste is in cinema! A rock would have better opinions!” Neil helps her push his pants down and then reaches forward to yank her shirt off. The bra she’s wearing is just a simple navy colored one but it has him physically biting back a moan at the sight. 
She smirks up at him, then pushes him away with a rough shove, sending him into one of the shelves. She gets into his space, wrapping her arms around his neck and initiating another one of those blood racing kisses. 
He reaches down and grabs her under her thighs, hoisting her up to wrap her legs around his waist. He starts walking them back towards his office, fully intent on throwing her down onto his couch in there and getting all this frustration out of his system. 
Sex has always been pretty gentle and by-the-book for Neil, he’s never had a desire to be rough or for a partner to be rough with him, but Bailey makes his head fuzzy. She makes him want to do things he’s never done before. 
“Fuck— Neil!” She gasps when he puts her down and immediately sticks his hand down the front of her shorts and starts rubbing along her slit. It’s so wet and he groans, his cock twitching in anticipation. 
“Can’t wait to shut you up,” he tells her, his long fingers alternating between rubbing vicious circles on her clit and slipping down to enter her with harsh thrusts, “Been thinking about this for weeks.” 
Her fingers scratch lightly across his stomach as she pushes his shirt up, “Well, you’re going to have to do lot better than this to make that happen.” 
His eyes narrow and he pulls his hand out of her shorts, ripping the button open and yanking them down her legs. He grips her around her hips and flips her onto her stomach, climbing onto her legs to keep her from kicking about. 
“I am so sick of that smart mouth,” he tells her before laying a loud slap to her right ass cheek, making her cry out in surprise that dissolves into a moan. He would spank her in earnest, but he’s been so fucking horny for so long that he only gives her a few smacks before slipping his fingers up under the edge of her panties, rubbing the buttery soft skin of her ass. 
Trailing his hands up, he unhooks her bra and climbs off of her so that she can turn over onto her back. She’s quick to shuck off her bra and panties, exposing herself entirely to his hungry gaze. 
“You said you thought about this for weeks,” she remarks while slipping her fingers down to her folds, “How many times did you jerk off to me?”
He groans and goes down to his knees, leaning forward and shouldering his way between her thighs. 
“So many fucking times,” he admits shamelessly before licking into her with enthusiasm.
Her fingers thread through his hair, tugging him forward and using the leverage to grind against his face. He could die here, smothered between those shapely thighs, and it would be in total bliss. Her moans are the sweetest thing he’s ever heard and he endeavors to hear them get louder. 
“Are you gonna cum for me, baby?” He asks, his fingers returning their journey of entering her and his eyes watching with hooded rapture as her cunt sucks them into her. 
“Neil,” she gasps his name, chanting it like a prayer and he picks up the pace with his fingers. He sucks on that hard little bud of hers and feels her cum around his fingers, that soaking cavern gripping him tightly. 
“Fuck, baby,” he groans, “please let me fuck you.” 
Her thighs are shaking as she comes down from her orgasm high, “Yes, fuck yes.” 
He doesn’t need any more encouragement— he’s barely got his underwear down before he’s pushing into her. She’s tighter and wetter than any other pussy he’s been in and he tells her as much, rasping filthy things into her ear as he begins a brutal and unrelenting rhythm. 
“Thought about bending you over the front counter and fucking you stupid so many times.” 
Her nails dig into his back, raking along the surface and certainly leaving their mark. 
The thought alone of her marking him could make him cum. He bites his lip harshly to try and wrestle back some control, unwilling to see it end so soon. 
It barely works as his hips stutter in their thrusting. 
“Can I cum in you?” He asks— no, practically begs her.
Her arms snake around his shoulders, tugging his head forward to rest against hers, their mouths finding each other hungrily. Between filthy, tongue filled kisses, she gasps, “Please!” 
Permission granted, he buries himself as deep as possible inside of her, the head of his cock nudging her cervix, and he cums. He groans loud and long as those warm, wet walls squeeze every last drop from his cock, sucking it better than any blow job could manage. 
He pulls out of her slowly and almost reluctantly, sad to part from that perfect cunt of hers. A flow of white cum follows his departure, dripping from her opening and over her ass in thick globs. 
He’s never seen something so sexy in his life and he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he doesn’t get to see it again. 
Stepping back from Bailey, he grabs his shirt off the floor and uses it to wipe her clean, chuckling at the deadpan look she gives him for the effort. Tossing the shirt aside, he climbs onto the couch and lays himself out next to her, pulling her to rest against his chest. 
They lay like that for a long time, catching their breaths and basking in the after glow. 
“You don’t really hate the Adam West Batman series, do you?” Bailey asks, her eyes looking up at Neil imploringly. 
Neil about answers the way he normally would but when he looks down at her and sees the earnest expression she’s wearing, he doesn’t have it in him to be an asshole. 
“No, it’s not that bad,” he lies and feels his heart flutter when she shoots him a beaming smile in return. 
He thinks he can stand mediocre cinema for her sake. 
486 notes · View notes
otomes-world · 19 days
Text
Six impossible things before breakfast
Little twist with sentient twst au, yes, I didn't expect this either. Masterlist with more works here
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We've probably all heard the joke about "How many light bulbs does it take to (insert whatever)." Who would have thought that you would use a slightly modified version of it: how many more coincidences must happen to realize the truth.
Although can anyone really blame you for not wanting to admit that you are a bunch of colored pixels created purely for entertainment purposes? No, it even sounds nice. After all, your purpose was to create extras, a stage on which the main characters performed and shone. Those who had faces.
Did you always have yours? Could you always see it in the mirror in the morning?
Did figurative shivers run down your spine every time a faceless classmate addressed you? One of ten, hundreds, exactly the same. Have the main bunch had the same problem? That's the question you'd been asking yourself lately. Did they shrug off empty, replaceable shells, or at least for a second consider them their equals?
Perhaps the question should have been asked differently. Was this in the order of things for them, because the thought of the incorrectness of worldly norms did not flash through their heads. Or it was something simple and very banal - they did not realize that they were part of the game.
Were you special? The thought was flattering, but it was stupid to start turning up your nose. Maybe the supreme programmer, like the smart guys from Ignihyde, could consider you a virus, a bug, an annoying nuisance, which can be gotten rid of in a couple of seconds. Click and that's it, your file would be deleted.
The idea that death could be more than just literal took you by surprise.
It all started with a strange feeling of déjà vu, with a strange cyclical nature of what was happening. How the seasons did not change according to the laws of nature or, on the contrary, lasted longer than expected. Sometimes you wondered what month was going on, at least by counting. Or how you couldn’t say with certainty what year of study you were in. When was your graduation? Would it ever come?
How many times did the main characters celebrate their birthday? How many times had you celebrated it? Did you celebrate it from the start?
Lessons
Breaks
Exams
Holidays
Lessons
Was there an end to this merging stream of eternal students? Was the dormitory assignment ceremony that important? How many real “first-year students” were admitted each year? Why couldn't your educational journey end? Time adjusted and obeyed an invisible force; it existed only when it was convenient for someone.
Catching the attention of the local spotlight and getting on stage was the best way to get labeled as a "bug" and ask to be removed. However, the main threat was only the erasure of memory.
The next discovery was doubt about one’s own “specialness.” When consciousness had nothing to do, it began to cling to different details, trying to look for differences in a series of events repeated in the film.
When you knew what to look for, small mistakes that were not noticeable at first glance stand out more than usual. A slight shadow of boredom on the faces of the main ones. Lack of interest in the educational process and exams. As if only one “exam” was important in a bunch of exactly the same events. When the first years of Heartslabyul signed a contract with Ashengrotto.
With new information in mind, it became easier to identify important “events” and track time based on them. By how many times they were repeated in the endless flow of time. Taking notes and somehow recording data was more dangerous than you thought, all that was left was to come up with methods known to you alone. For example, in a dorm room on the bedside table there was a cluster of glasses, each containing specific color of pencils.
Did your roommates start to think you were weird and obsessed with order and cleanliness? Their right. You didn't care what they thought, besides, they would forget about it with the coming of a new day.
In order not to completely go crazy, you began to peer into the “faces” of other students, trying to spot at least a feature that distinguishes one from another. Either this world was too lazy, creating copy after copy in every dorm, or there was no point in trying. If you somehow came to terms with the feeling of the meaninglessness of what was happening, then the appearance of one student in several places at the same time still caused rejection.
Disgusting
If this world was someone’s experiment, then why were events cyclical? If this was a cage, then where was the exit. If this was a prison, then who was being held in it?
You made a mistake in observing a person without magic from another world. Trying to figure out whether Yuu's "world" was truly different or just as much a part of predestination as everything around. Was “Yuu” really the main one or just an extra? You could have sworn they didn't have a face. At least such clear features as all the main ones. Just as there was no character, how in each of the repeating events they could behave differently.
It was a breath of fresh air in the routine of never-ending study. The watching of the only part capable of changing in the world, subject to the same rules.
That's why, when one of the main ones suddenly approached you, you thought you were dreaming. Whether it was possible to fall asleep in the simulation was another question. Usually you went to bed, closed eyes, only to open them the next second to the sound of the alarm clock.
"Can I help you with something?" You smiled politely, but was it worth it? Could the main bunch distinguish between persons different from their privileged group.
Hunt. Was that his name? You weren't completely sure. He was part of something forbidden, something to be avoided at all costs. Part of the three “don’ts”: don’t look for information;don’t mention; don’t give yourself unnecessary temptations. Returning to the present moment, he just looked into your eyes with his constant smile, as if trying to find confirmation of something.
Like a true NPC, you continued to stand, frozen in one position and waiting for his answer. Until awareness came as abruptly as his appearance in principle. He looked straight into your eyes. Could he see your face the same way you saw it in the mirror? How long ago? Could the rest of the main ones see you too?
A billion questions were spinning in head at the same time as you tried to come up with a suitable excuse and reason to leave. The changes turned out to be too unexpected and frightening. Perhaps with the advent of a new “day” everything would return to normal.
“Is there a knight in the world who is not ready to devote all his deeds to one and only one, if this opens the veil of secrets at least a little? Will it allow him to find out what thoughts are spinning in head?”
It's a pity he was not a knight. Even though each word was pronounced with a special intonation, you only thought about how much water there was in his speech. Unfortunately, saying this out loud was an unaffordable luxury.
"..Is that so?"
“You are right, an étoile (star), I may be not one of their noble number, but even so I am not able to deny their order.” You let him continue, mentally counting down the minutes until the bell rang for lesson. “I may not have a sword in sheath, but It won`t change a way I live! Your smile can make my whole heart melt. There isn't lie in way I felt”
“I’m not good at poetry, but the rhyme is lame, Sir Hunt,” if it’s there.
“You’re right, writing poems is just one of my hobbies, to which I devote my few free leisure hours,” he continued, as if your words didn’t hurt him at all. “I hasten to assure you that there was no malicious intent in my actions. This modest hunter only wanted to greet a new connoisseur of everything beautiful and interesting."
No matter how much you hate beating around the bush, doubts creeping in from randomly thrown words. Sometimes the phrases spoken directly were the most frightening. However, not wanting to part with your role as an extra - which was burdensome, but at the same time giving a semblance of freedom - you continued to pretend to be an NPC.
"Should I congratulate you?.. Congratulations!" Any member of the film club would envy your feigned sincerity. A bell in three, two, "I don’t dare detain you any longer.”
The unsaid `like you would me` hung in the air. You had to hold out for the few remaining hours until the end. Fortunately, the main one did let you go, but smile, saying that its owner knew everything in the world, left an unpleasant aftertaste. One that your intuition suggested would accompany you for the next days.
It's going to be a very long a few hours.
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helsensm · 6 months
Note
I cannot hold it in anymore I am absolutely OBSESSED with your art and the way you draw Lao.
I also would like to inquire….. just perhaps… what are your top head-canons for him, and/or your opinions on popular ships for him/which ones you like?
No pressure!! I hope you are having a wonderful day 🧡
me, trying to act normal every time an awesome artist I look up to says something nice about my art
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Thank you so much! first of all, please take this Lao with you, he's yours now~
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now let me preheat my bad english.....
Most of my Lao headcanons (if they are not related to a particular art I made) were yoinked from another ppl, because DAMN FELLAS your brains are sexy. 😏 So you might have heard some of them already, but here's my top general hcs for him.
NOTE: we are talking about the current timeline mk1 Kung Lao
- Lao is very expressive with his hands and he's THE TOUCH person. Just look at how many times he took Raiden by the shoulder in the first chapter alone?? He'll be pushing, and patting, and shoving, and punching you all over while telling about his breakfast or something.
- Lao is struggling with inferiority complex. Since childhood he was under a tremendous amount of pressure, he has to do things right, to be better, or else he would be mocked or punished. Now he believes that he should be the best, or he would not be taken seriously. He's constantly seeking validation in his peers, causing him to act cocky and over-confident.
- Anger issues, usually when someone questions his skill.
- People call him lazy because he tries to act like everything comes naturally to him. In reality he trains hard and takes things seriously. Like, he's fighting with a RAZOR RIMMED HAT fgs, it's not something you can master in a day! Also he always got energy running through his veins, lucky bastard... *cries in iron deficiency*
- He makes his hats by himself. With his hands. He designs and creates. ALL of them. I will die on that hill.
- He's a slow to trust, but ride or die as a friend.
- He's a trouble maker FOR SURE, but not a bully. He's respectful and polite to most of the people (if they don't provoke him), also drinks his respect-women juice.
- Master of sass and sarcasm. And yes, I think he swears, but in the right circumstances or the right company.
- He's got rizz NOW, but in his teens he had zero game because he could not keep his mouth shut and would scare off the person with the most ridiculous piece of idiocy.
- I read it in one fic and really loved the idea that Liu Kang "told the blossoms" about Kung Lao, and they really liked him 🌸 so now they are following him around and bringing him news and gossips, that's why there's always those goddamn petals aroung him aasghGHHHj 🌸🌸
- He's rolling his eyes at Johnny, but they quickly become besties.
- He actually has a cold relationship with Liu Kang. Don't get me wrong, he trusts him, respects the hell out of him and will run into a wall for a man. But I think Liu will distance himself because of all the memories of HIS Lao and how badly they sting. oTL
- That smile and a bow Lao did after loosing to Raiden? He meant that. Loosing hurted BAD, but the pain was pushed aside by the sence of pride and happiness for his best friend.
oh shit, this is getting out of hand, I'm starting to think about the other timelines and dynamics, we'll be here all week hhhhgh
About the popular ships... Well, I'm a big fan of railao (yeah NO SHIT who would have thought), but I am a multishipper, so I'm just happy to see my fav characters feeling good in someone's hands. 😊
I really like the liulao and laoliutana for several different reasons. 👀 The johnshilao (or is it laojohnshi..? erm) was the one that didn't impress me at first (love the Lao just third-wheeling with a tired expression <:'D), but recently I'm starting to warm up to all the different dynamics these three can have. And that is, in no small part, thanks to you and your kenlao agenda 👀💖 damn you created such a nice cozy universe for them I'm 🥺💕💗💖
Bi-Han/Lao is a bit random, but I love how catto did them, they are such a cute pair of assholes! >:3
ummm, yeah, so I'm going to stop there ahahhH. Thank you again for asking and for all the nice little feels your art provides, I admire you tremendously~
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shadowtriovibes · 1 year
Note
Hi, I’ve never requested before so hope I do it right. Can I get an Ominis x F!reader where he discovers he has a biting kink? Thank you!!
take a bite
Pairing: Ominis Gaunt x f!MC
Word Count: 2k
Rating: E
Warnings: 18+, aged-up characters, explicit sexual content, unprotected PIV sex, references to oral sex, slight #dominis, biting kink
Summary: sequel to "take my hand" in which you and Ominis play around with his biting kink, this is just pure smut with lots of teeth xoxo
“The other girls are starting to worry about me,” you joke. “Yesterday Garreth even asked if I’ve been garroted by an Ashwinder.” "What? Why?" he asks, sitting back so you can see the puzzled frown on his lips. "Because I’m positively covered in bruises,” you remind him, taking his hand and pressing it along your neck. “And not small ones, you cad." He at least has the decency to blush while he ducks his head.
If you’d thought that you’d created a monster out of Ominis after that first time, you were in for the shock of a lifetime at what he’s become.
You think his desires might even put Sebastian to shame, and that’s truly saying something. He wants you always – in between classes, late at night (when he can distract you from your studies), and even in the mornings when you stay overnight in the Room of Requirement.
After that first time, he can hardly think of anything but his hands on you, or yours on him, or your mouth… Merlin, your mouth.
Despite how game he’s been to try new things, you note that one thing about that first time has remained the same, and that’s Ominis’ oral fixation.
However, you come to realize that perhaps it’s not just about using his mouth. In fact, it’s mainly his teeth.
If you didn’t know any better, you might wonder whether Ominis is at all vampiric. Admittedly, you know very little about vampirekind having missed your first few years of Defense Against the Dark Arts classes, and they aren’t common in the Highlands.
But you aren’t the only one who has had that thought. You know your classmates have remarked on his pale skin, his preternatural ability to hear and perceive the world around him, and, despite his enduring kindness, his family’s reputation for abusing the Dark Arts.
However, you know he’s much too sweet and loving a man to be anything but human.
So, not a monster, you think. Just a biter.
It’s not that you mind. You can’t help but shiver every time he nips at your bottom lip while he’s kissing you, or when he makes his way down your neck and starts to work bruises and bite marks into your sensitive skin.
The other Slytherin girls in your year had quickly taught you how to make use of a scarf to hide any particularly egregious marks, giggling about how your Ominis must like to mark you up to let the boys who glance your way know that you’re utterly taken.
But that just makes you wonder… is it about the bruises? The ones he can’t even see?
Or is it about the act?
“Ominis,” you breathe one night, your head tipped back against the headrest of the plush armchair you conjured by the fire in the Room.
“Yes, love?” he mumbles into the hinge of your jaw, where he’s currently hard at work marking you up further.
“The other girls are starting to worry about me,” you joke. “Yesterday Garreth even asked if I’ve been garroted by an Ashwinder.”
“What? Why?” Ominis asks, sitting back so you can see the puzzled frown on his lips.
“Because I’m positively covered in bruises,” you remind him, taking his hand and pressing it along your neck. “And not small ones, you cad.”
He at least has the decency to blush while he ducks his head.
“I didn’t know they were that bad,” he counters. “You should have told me, I can stop for a while and let them go away.”
“Don’t blame me, cheeky,” you croon, gently cupping his chin to pull him in for a kiss. “I could tell you liked doing it, but I didn’t realize just how much you like it.”
“It’s just – a nice feeling,” he admits.
You’ve been resolute in insisting the two of you talk about what you enjoy together and what isn’t your favorite, because despite his protests Ominis is a bit too proper to easily tell you what gets him off.
“What is?” you encourage him. “Using your mouth on me?”
“Using my mouth,” he agrees, leaning in to press an open-mouthed kiss to your neck. “And my teeth.”
“I wondered,” you whisper, trying not to talk much to preserve his canvas for him as you lean back again. You gasp when he bites over the column of your jaw – softly, but enough for you to feel his teeth leave indentations in your skin.
“I don’t know why, it’s just… I can’t help myself,” Ominis tells you, his hands on your hips gripping you tighter. “Do you dislike it?”
“Does it sound like I dislike it?” you quip, pressing down against his lap to let him know just how much you do not hate what he’s doing.
“Just here?” he asks, tugging the already messy collar of your shirt further to the side. “What about the rest of you?”
“Why don’t you find out?” you challenge him.
Wordlessly, he traces his lips along your skin until he finds your collarbone and bites down, and you whine out loud, grinding down hard against him.
He curses softly and bites again.
“Ominis,” you whine, tangling your fingers in his tousled hair. “Keep going.”
“Take off your clothes first,” he counters, and you quickly start undoing the buttons on your school shirt while he takes care of his own, tugging his tie loose and tossing it over his shoulder. Then he helps you tug your skirt off, smirking dangerously when he runs his hands up and down your sides to discover that you’d foregone underclothes.
“Were you expecting something, love?” Ominis asks you knowingly.
“Just trying to be efficient,” you breathe, dropping yourself back in his lap.
You arch your chest toward him so he’ll keep going, and he’s quick to put his mouth back on you – this time at the curve of your breast, where he’s usually so careful.
“You can bite,” you murmur.
“But you’re so soft here,” he says, tenderly kissing your skin and gently dragging his thumb over your other breast, teasing your nipple with his thumb.
“So be careful,” you tell him, tangling your fingers in his hair. “I want you to, Ominis.”
You both know that there’s very little he won’t do if you use those words on him.
Carefully, he nips at the curve of your breast and then a little harder when you hum, pleased. He’s so tender with you, listening intently for any discomfort while he buries his face against your chest and gives you bruises to match the necklace he’d already given you.
By now you’ve ruined the front of his trousers and Ominis can hardly take being separated from your bare core by the layer of his uniform pants anymore. He pauses his work on you to pull his cock out and trace the tip of it along your slit, feeling for himself just how wet he’s making you.
“Want to stay in my lap like this so I can keep going?” he offers, one hand sneaking behind you to your ass as if to help lift you up onto him.
“I have a better idea,” you offer. “Come with me.”
Raising his eyebrows, Ominis takes your hand as you climb off his lap and walk him over to your bed. You make no move to push him toward it, so he waits as patiently as he can while you murmur a quick modification charm to raise it up a little higher.
Then you lean onto the bed, resting your head on your forearms with your ass on full display, and call him toward you.
“I rarely get jealous of sighted people anymore,” Ominis murmurs as he lays his hands on your curves. “But I really wish I could see you right now.”
“You can touch me,” you say softly. “And you’re the only one who can do that.”
“That’s certainly better,” he agrees.
Taking his cock in hand, he slowly presses inside you, earning a desperate moan from you as you force yourself to relax for him. In this position, he feels impossibly long.
“Ominis,” you whine, and he pauses.
“Just a little more, love,” he murmurs, sounding just as ruined. “Please, let me? I know you can.”
“I want you to give me all of you,” you grit out. “And then I want you to bite me wherever you can reach.”
Merlin, maybe you’re the monster after all, you think.
Helplessly, Ominis presses all the way in and nearly collapses over you. You feel his lips brush against the back of your neck, his hands frantically shoving your hair out of the way so that there’s nothing between you two.
Then he bites down right on top of your shoulderblade.
“Yes!” you wail. “Move, Ominis, don’t stop.”
You hear what sounds more like a growl then a moan while he starts to fuck you in earnest, biting his way from one shoulder to the other in a way that isn’t practiced or careful but still feels so delicious.
“You taste…” he mumbles into your skin. “Fuck, I can’t stop, love.”
“Don’t, don’t ever stop,” you beg, practically delirious.
Ominis isn’t used to hearing you beg. Usually you’re the one demanding what you want from him, guiding his hands where you want them or coaxing him into kissing his way down between your thighs.
You think he quite likes that your roles are reversed for once, if the way he grinds into you a little viciously is any indication.
He fucks you deep like this, over and over while he bites all along your upper back. You’ll be covered in bruises after this, you think, but no one will ever see them.
You whine pathetically when Ominis leans away from you, but then you feel his fingertips skim across where his teeth had been as he traces the marks along your skin, examining his handiwork.
“Mine,” he says softly, and that nearly puts you over the edge.
“Make me come, please,” you whimper, feeling desperately unlike yourself in this vulnerable position, entirely dependent on Ominis’ whims to get off.
“Come here,” he grunts, and he slides his hand up your back until he can gently tug on your hair at the base of your neck to get you to arch up just a bit.
He leans down and bites teasingly at your earlobe. “Can you come like this?” Ominis asks.
“I think so,” you breathe. “Just — touch me, I need you to touch me.”
“Here?” he asks, sliding his other hand between your hips and the bed to press his fingertips to your clit.
You nearly sob, already so bewilderingly close. “Please!”
“Good girl,” he mumbles into your shoulder, and right before you tip over the edge, he bites down hard.
You shout into the mattress while you come, pinned between Ominis’ hips and his mouth. The first thing you notice when you can think clearly is that your legs are shaking, and you honestly wonder whether they’re about to give out.
“Just a bit more,” Ominis grunts, finally letting go of you so he can hold your hips steady for him. “Let me come, love, let me finish inside.”
“Anything you want,” you slur, which would be embarrassingly earnest if you didn’t absolutely mean it.
Ominis tips his head back while he comes, grinding all the way in so you’ll keep every drop he spills inside you, his baser instincts rearing their ugly heads at the sight of seeing you so filled with him.
You reach behind yourself to blindly seek his hand, sighing happily when he laces his fingers with yours.
“You are unbelievable,” Ominis sighs, still catching his breath. “How do you manage to bring out the most wicked parts of me every time?”
“Just talented, I suppose,” you reply.
He carefully pulls out, transfixed for a moment as he traces his fingertips through the mess he’d made in you while it starts to leak out. You tremble a little, still sensitive from your release.
“Care to help me clean up?” you ask, hoping he’ll fetch a wet cloth for you.
Instead, he drops to his knees.
“Ominis?” you breathe, glancing over your shoulder. “What on earth are you doing?”
“Trying something new,” he says simply, and before you can react he bites the tender spot where your ass meets your thigh.
You gasp – that stung, actually. But just as quickly, he presses a sooting kiss to that same spot, tracing his fingertips along the back of your leg apologetically.
Just before he puts his mouth back on you, he murmurs, “Let’s get you cleaned up, hm?”
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Text
home again ; yandere!wally darling
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requested by ; anonymous (09/05/23)
word count ; 2031
content ; platonic yanderes, memory loss (the puppets all had their memories forcibly wiped), references to child/teen reader, obsessive protectiveness, author’s first time writing something platonic so… yeah
note ; i haven’t written anything like this before (sfw yandere stuff) so apologies if it seems a tad off. similarly i’m still adjusting to writing wally’s character in terms of dialogue and such, so that may also seem a smidge ooc.
fandom ; welcome home
pairing ; platonic wally darling x gender neutral!reader
read also on ; ao3
It was a beautifully melancholy evening: the stars and moon were obscured with thick, grey clouds that loomed overhead like ragged old curtains; the air was thick with dust and pollen that clung to your skin and clothes like a man hanging onto the edge of a steep cliff, digging their claws in and holding on with all the relentless might you’d come to hate; your room was only dimly illuminated by the pale blue light emanating from your monitor, the low hum of the vents the only sound to compliment the clicking of keys and the tapping of the mouse. Quiet, drab and dull; how very typical of spring.
But at the very least it gave you all the excuse you needed to sit behind a screen and doomscroll. Tired eyes skimming over articles and activists decrying the latest tragedy, thousands of crabs in the metaphorical bucket of social media all fighting for the attention of bystanders — only taking pause when you came across something all too familiar, yet at the same time entirely new.
‘Does anyone else remember Welcome Home? It was pretty popular when it aired back in the 70s and my friends and I are trying to create a complete archive for it’ — the caption read. Below it was a highlighted link and a picture that had been burned into your brain since childhood: bright swatches of paint adorning every surface, all seeing eyes as big as can be, and in front of it, that permanent smile carved into yellow felt. Wally Darling and Home, you remembered them both clearly enough — clearer than you’d have liked, even.
It had been decades since you’d actively thought back on Welcome Home, on your brief stint in stardom, and frankly you’d have rather it’d been kept that way. You still held a bit of a grudge over getting axed: ‘too mature’, yeah right! Every kid loves astrology and nobody is too old to talk about their feelings… you were only 14 for crying out loud! Too mature, your ass.
But perhaps, you reasoned, it wouldn’t be too bad to take a quick trip down memory lane. Sure you’d loved the show when it aired, but you stopped watching after your section was cut, so maybe it would be cool to see what changed in the interim — and, either way, your experiences would probably be helpful to the archivists. So no harm, no foul.
————
The site was easy enough to navigate but man you didn’t expect to get so emotional when you went looking through the recovered art. They looked exactly the same as you remembered, all of them — which is kind of silly to think about since puppets and tv show characters in general tend not to change since, well, they were meant to stay consistent. Frank was always going to look terribly stern, and Julie was always going to come onto scene with a new fabulous hairdo, and Eddie was always going to trip over his own feet on his rounds, and Wally was always going to open and close each episode with a nod to the audience. These things were staples of the characters and the show’s structure so of course they’d be the same.
But, still, you somehow felt like they should have changed in your absence. A small part of your mind, an irrational part surely, crying out that they were alive and that living things were made to change — which was silly. And, frankly, a little embarrassing that you’d even had that thought at all.
So you pushed that idea to the very back of your mind where it belonged and continued to scroll through the various pages of the website. Art from official books (you were sure you even owned the ‘ask Wally’ type book and that it was still at your parents’ place), merchandise like pop up figures (the sort that were found only in cereal boxes and magazines), promotional posters and even one piece from your short tenure on the show. You remembered posing for that photograph, being told to smile and to wrap your arms around Eddie and Wally — but for some reason you couldn’t quite recall what their puppeteers were called.
Or if they even had any puppeteers in the first place.
No. That can’t be right. They were puppets, characters, they had to have someone controlling and voicing them — but none of the promotional art nor your memories supported that basic truth. It didn’t make sense.
None of it made sense. This was why you’d tried to forget that show so desperately after you left. It messed with your head far too much to be worth the effort so why bother burning out over questions that could be explained by a faulty memory.
A memory that could, in picture perfect detail, recall the route from Howdy’s store to Home as clear as crystal — as if it were your own route to-and-from primary school. A memory that could replay patchy conversations between Wally and Julie, bittersweet bickering over hairspray and hairpins that you could only recall in pieces, but that still rang clearly as if you were thinking of childhood friends. A memory that was imprinted with the feeling of warm felt embraces and puffs of warm air from stencil cut mouths that would have been impossible if they weren’t alive. Moving eyes, small bodies, freely walking, freely talking — alive and well and clear as day in your mind as normally as recalling your parents arguing over a cup of freshly brewed coffee on the mornings of each shoot.
The distinctly strong smell of the synthetic hairspray Wally used that would hang around him and mixed with the scent of oil paint like a cologne — that burned your nose if you hung around too close to him in the early morning. The sheer joy of Howdy picking you up and tossing you in the air as a congratulations for your first scene done well — caterpillar fuzz that stuck to your clothes for days, as strong as velcro. The way you and Julie squealed when Barnaby shook back and forth and sent droplets of muddy water raining down on you and on her freshly done up hair — and the joke that followed her exasperated tirade as you, through giggles, explained frustration to the audience through a camera they seemed to not be able to see.
Memories that kept unearthing themselves the deeper you went into the site, eventually culminating with you tearing up at the sight of old friends you’d been forced to leave behind. Silly, perhaps, but you recall telling the audience that it was healthy to cry and to let it all go — so at least your teenage self would be proud of your emotional vulnerability.
After a good hour of this, and more than in need of a break, you finally clicked on the attached message board and typed up a simple few sentences. A greeting and a farewell all in one before you closed down your computer and went to bed.
‘I used to have a segment on Welcome Home when I was a kid. I was meant to do astrology and emotions, before I got cut for being too old lol. This brought back so many memories. Thank you, all.’
————
Wally hadn’t meant to linger — really, he hadn’t — but there had been something oddly familiar about his latest visitor that he couldn’t quite place. Even from behind the screen he was trapped within, even as he watched their message load in, he could tell that they were different. It was their eyes, those tearful knowing eyes — he was sure he’d seen them before in that somewhere different, somewhere brighter, that came before the end he and his neighbours were trapped in.
When he saw their eyes he saw himself, a twisted altered reflection of himself that was filled to bursting with the warmth and awareness that he was created to hold within himself. A child’s eyes in the form of someone who he didn’t know yet he knew he must have once. A lingering, niggling feeling in the back of his skull, like fingertips brushing and scratching and digging into his fabric brain — rearranging and scouring and destroying and reaching for something that he couldn’t quite find.
He winced and squinted and stared through the screen to no avail, tilting his head and watching them as they flicked from screen to screen to screen desperate for a sign that he could use to place this familiar stranger. Unable to do so until finally — finally — their note came through and he was able to read the short greeting they’d left behind.
Then, and only then, did those forbidden memories come flooding back. A formidable tidal wave, a whirling rapid, of bright lights and experiences and conversations that had been torn from him and shredded in the writer’s room of their long gone creators.
He knew you, he’d always known you; the child too old for their youth that visited their neighbourhood in the beginning. Who always wore a beaming smile and treated them all with a grace beyond their years, spreading kindness and joy to his friends and to the audience only the two of you knew about. Who was far taller than his measly 12 apples of verticality but who never made him feel small. Who spoke eagerly of the constellations and painted the most wonderful pictures of stars and moons and planets far beyond their reach that he did his best to capture in his paintings. Who was only 14 but felt more like an adult than he did sometimes — he, who was crafted and sewn without a childhood — but who wasn’t above play and foley.
The child who was the absolute most; his favourite transient neighbour. All of their’s, actually.
How could he possibly have forgotten you?
You with your broad toothy grins, and your warm eyes that shone brighter than the stars you loved, and your arms that were big enough to carry even more apples than he could have ever dreamed of. You, who he promised to protect and keep away from the horrors of the world, theirs and your own. You, who never turned down a favour or plea from his neighbours.
You. Just you.
Wonderful, lovable, unforgettable you. His child of flesh, not felt, but he loved you all the same.
And he didn’t get to see you grow up, because his creators deemed you unbefitting of their world and cut you from their memories as ruthlessly as they’d cut your segments from their show. Welcome Home didn’t feel very much like a home after that — even if they didn’t quite recall what was missing.
Wally didn’t even want to think about all of the horrors and harms you’d faced throughout the years you’d been apart — he could see the wear hanging heavily in the downwards quirk of your lips and the dampened glint in your eye. He knew he’d sooner kill someone than let them hurt you, he’d threatened it plenty alongside Howdy and Eddie and Frank — they all loved you as dearly as him, once.
But in his current predicament he couldn’t do much to protect you. Couldn’t coddle you, couldn’t warm you, couldn’t sooth you with those sweets you used to love (if you even loved them anymore, it had clearly been quite some time), couldn’t do anything to help. He couldn’t even communicate with you, to apologise, to tell you he still loved you and that you were still welcome in their neighbourhood.
So he did the only thing he could; he drew you a picture. A silly little simplistic drawing, scratchy and crude, depicting a strong memory he had of you. The two of you, hand in hand, with your arms overflowing with apples you’d managed to steal from Howdy (oh how he missed such trivial things) — he hoped you remembered these moments as fondly as he did. Then, to the illustration, he attached a small message, a plea just for you, before settling back down behind the screen and hoping — praying — that you’d come back.
‘I’m sorry for forgetting you, friend, please come home’
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jamespotterismydaddy · 8 months
Text
Lord Husband (Chapter 4)
Cregan x reader
A/N: new character alert
word count: 1,202 words
Series Masterlist
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“Ser Steffon won’t accompany me to Winterfell?” You ask your mother. It feels like another strike in the gut. Steffon Darklyn has guarded you since you were a child. Apart from your family, he is your closest friend.
“He is a part of my Queensguard. He must be with me or…” You know why she trails off. Her or her heir are the words she is looking for.
“Jacaerys.” You finish the thought for her and you hate the undertone of jealousy in your voice.
“You may take as many of your handmaidens as you like and we will find more than suitable guards for you. I would never allow you to be not well accompanied.” She is trying to be reassuring but it is to no avail.
“Then I shall have nobody to care for me in the North?” You regret the words as soon as you say them because you know what her response will be.
“Your husband will care for you.” It doesn’t make you feel better. You don’t want the demeaning care from a forced spouse. You desire care from the man who has been like a second father to you.
“I want Ser Steffon.” You say, your tone almost desperate.
“It wouldn’t be proper.”
Improper or a waste of resources? You wonder to yourself.
“You will be protected.” She reassures.
“It isn’t about that.” It’s about everything that is being torn away from you.
“Help me to understand, sweet girl.” She sounds just as desperate.
“Why did you have to send me so far away, far enough to isolate me?��� You ask softly.
“I promise I thought your match through. Cregan gives you control. Putting you in the North gives you a role, not to be a tool to create an alliance, but to be a Targaryen presence so far from the throne. You will be in a position of great influence if you can gain your husband’s trust.” She seems serious but you aren’t sure if she is just trying to make you feel important when you aren’t. Though, it works. “If you wanted to stay close, we would have likely had to betroth you to Aemond.” You cringe at that. You were close to Aemond when the two of you were younger but there is such strife between you now. You’re sure he hates you. “He wouldn’t allow you the same level of freedom.”
“I know that.” You sigh. “I require a moment to collect myself, your Grace.” You give her a nod of respect before leaving, Ser Steffon trails after you. He knows what the topic of discussion was.
You let the tension stew in silence between the two of you before you decide to speak up. “What am I supposed to do without you?”
“You are a woman grown, princess. I know you will excel in Winterfell.” He says and you turn to face him.
“But i’ll miss you.”
“I am flattered deeply and truthfully, I will miss you also.” He says tenderly.
“Well then perhaps if you told the Queen you wished to accompany me…” You trail off, knowing your suggestion is silly.
“Princess…” He says in a certain way and you can sense the pity. “There is something that may make you feel better, though.”
“And that would be?”
“My nephew, Robert, has just recently been knighted. He is by no means a seasoned knight but I had a great influence in raising him when he was younger. He is a good man and a fearsome warrior. Mayhaps having him as a guard could bring you some sense of comfort?” Steffon suggests.
“That is a splendid idea. I should like to meet him. Now.” You reply, feeling almost happy at the prospect.
“Now? Of course, princess. I believe he is training in the courtyard.” He tells you and you immediately begin to make your way there.
When you arrive at the courtyard, you notice that there’s more than a few men training, Aemond and Criston included, who you ignore.
“Point him out.”
Steffon describes Robert and where he is but when your eyes fall upon him, the description doesn’t do justice. Robert is handsome, lean and strong with hair as black as tar and piercing green eyes. He fights with ease and elegance, not relying on brutish strength. You decide that he will be more than fun to have around. When Robert wins his fight, you clap for him. He notices the sound because he didn’t expect eyes to be on him when the dragon prince is fighting.
“Princess.” He bows as you walk over, his competitor stumbling into a bow as well.
“Your highness, I introduce you to my nephew, Ser Robert Darklyn.”
“Pleased to make your acquaintance, Ser Robert.” You say with a little smirk.
“The pleasure is, of course, all mine.” He is clearly trying to stay confident but you can detect a hint of nervousness in his voice.
“You are a very skilled fighter.” You haven’t seen much but you’ve already decided what you want. You trust Steffon’s judgement. “And I am in need of a new guard.”
“Thank you, princess. I appreciate the recognition.” He manages to stay cool and calm. He has an easy way about his demeanour.
“Have you ever been to Winterfell?” You ask him.
“I haven’t been anywhere.” He replies, a man in need of something to free him from the monotony of being a second son.
“Perhaps you would like to come with me to Winterfell then, as my personal guard?” You ask him bluntly.
“I am honoured by your offer, your highness. I would like nothing more than to protect you in your new home.” He can’t seem to stop himself from smiling. For a man who seemed to be so stoic, the smile suits him.
“Good because we leave in three days. I apologize for the short notice but I wasn’t given much time to prepare for this change of plans.” You give Ser Steffon a pointed look.
Robert Darklyn has little time to respond before you turn on your heel, wanting to make sure you have everything you need for your travels. As you walk back to your chambers, you strike up conversation with Steffon again.
“I expect you to write to me. Perhaps once a week. Just to be filled in on how my brothers fair of course.” You say to him but you both know that all you want is to hear from him as much as possible.
“I think twice a week would be more appropriate. Your brothers do get up to lots of mischief and whatnot.” He says with a hint of a smile on his lips.
“I think that would be for the best as well.” You speak, a small smile on your face as you arrive at your chamber’s door. He holds it open for you. “Oh and one more thing, Ser… If I die in Robert’s care, I’ll kill you.” He smirks at that.
“He’s a much better knight than I was at his age. I promise the two of you will get along well.”
“Hmm.” You say, thinking about Ser Robert… very handsome Ser Robert. “I think we indeed will.”
Taglist(comment to be added): General: @valeskafics @urmomsgirlfriend1 @girlwith-thepearlearring @darylandbethfanforever9 @lovellies @juhdoche @papichulo120627 @watercolorskyy
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seraphiism · 1 year
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❀ ゚. ༄ ┊ & 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐊𝐘 𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊 ;
( my heart slams against my ribs when i think of the slaughtered nights i spent all over the world waiting to feel your touch. )
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characters : ais / leander / kuras fandom : touchstarved quote cr : henry rollins a/n : each character is limited to 250 words! how canon is this ? it is not ✩°。⋆⸜(ू˙꒳˙ )
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↬ ais ࿐ ࿔
BLOOD IS NEVER MEANT TO BE A BEAUTIFUL THING, BUT THE SEASPRING IS A SIREN : A SALVATION AND DAMNATION ALL AT ONCE.
no, blood is not meant for greater things, the brilliant reflection in sanguine so alluring and tempting. blood is not meant for greater things, but ais has fallen prey to this siren, found coexistence with a terror that all should fear.
he does not know if it's a mistake, nor does he know if there is regret that dwells in this monstrous heart of his.
( it doesn't matter. monsters don't have hearts, anyway, and demons are no different. )
perhaps it is not a mistake for him, but it would be for you. you, who has carried this burden for all your life, only knowing it as a blessing until recent times. you, who stares into the seaspring with an unreadable expression, pupils dilated, fists clenched.
he does not know if he should stop you, break your thoughts away from a vicious ending. because your ending will be the ending of so many, minds a haze, memories lost and mixed with the masses.
"careful, sparrow," he leans down, face dangerously close to yours, "there are other ways to break my heart, you know-- if that's what you're trying to do."
he expects that familiar spark of anger in your eyes, but there is nothing but fear and uncertainty. you swallow hard, dare to move closer to him until your lips are only inches apart.
"convince me to stay, then."
↬ leander ࿐ ࿔
YOUR CURSE IS YOUR ORIGIN, FINGERTIPS DRENCHED IN MADNESS AND PROPHECIES FOREWARNED. YOUR CURSE IS YOUR ORIGIN / YOUR DOWNFALL / HIS SERENITY.
in a brave new world full of evils and betrayals, leander is the closest thing to sanctuary. you do not trust too easily nowadays, upbringing created from lies and horrid intentions. in your hands, there is a curse that brings ruin to you and another : your mind wreaked with havoc of guilt, theirs with the havoc of the knowing.
so you hide. you hide your hands, hide the black and gold that is so deeply dark yet bright all the same. because nothing good can come from your touch-- or so you think.
you have done this before, known it was safe, but there is something so frightening in this moment, your body trembling so violently that you almost give into the instinct to flee. but leander knows you all too well, grabs your hands before you can revoke them.
"it's okay." he soothes you in gentle tones, that familiar pink dusting his cheeks. "nothing happened last time. you can't hurt me."
but you can, you can-- and the mere thought makes your eyes sting, vision blurring. but he believes in you, watches closely as he guides your hands to rest on his face.
nothing happens, save for the pounding of your hearts alike and the knowing comfort in your touch. leander's smile grows, faint, and he wonders how cruel the world could be, to curse someone so beautiful.
↬ kuras ࿐ ࿔
WRETCHED ARE THE ANGELS MADE FROM IMPURITIES AND FALSE DEITIES, TRUE INTENTIONS TURNED ROT WITH THE BURIAL OF SIN & GRIEF UNINTENDED.
kuras has saved your life once before, the touch of the divine invoking the resurgence of bloom in the withering roots of the soul. how you were so close to death back then, limb for a limb, life for a life, the stain of the soulless etched into your skin.
you are far from ordinary; he has known that from the beginning, knows there is a quiet redemption in your existence. in the many years he has lived, a life destitute and once full of better days, he almost feels something akin to hope in a weary heart.
"you are always saving me." you whisper one night, voice and spirit upon the verge of break, and perhaps there is a guilt somewhere-- a selfishness, and you do not know what to make of it.
and it's true-- it is, because danger is all you have known since arrival in eridia, yet kuras is a lighthouse, a safekeeping, a haven found. but you are the furthest from burden and he wishes for you to know that, to understand that, and to accept that.
so with a tenderness of a higher being, his thumb ghosts over your cheekbone, the kindest of smiles on his visage.
what will you be, he wonders : his happy ending or his swan song?
"you may be the one who is doing the saving, after all."
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dia-souls · 8 months
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DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT Analyzes [ Vol. 6 Sakamaki Laito ]
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Original title: いつものゲーム
Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 6 Sakamaki Laito
Seiyuu: Hirakawa Daisuke
Analyze by: Admin Afra
Admin's note: Laito is the boy who, in my personal opinion, has endured the worst trauma among all his brothers, and the reason for his violent and deviant behavior now may be justified with the bitter memories of his past. But with Laito I can learn many lessons and I hope he will stick to these lessons. He should try to forget the relationship and bitterness of the past and believe in a brighter future. Maybe we can call him the poor broken man, but this man deserves a second chance and I'm sure he deserves Yui's pure love. What he could not receive from his mother.
Who are you, Laito? Are you sure that the only way to return to reality of yourself is to become carefree and not care about the things that really matter to you? Are you sure that this is the real you? Are you sure that your true self is not that kind and innocent child who forgot his entire childhood because of a tragic event and decided to create a new identity for himself. Your true self has been dead for years. Your true self died in your childhood.
This is the only answer I can give to Laito when he decides to kill Yui to end all his pain. But how did the story get here?
Playing hunter seems like a lot of fun for Laito, especially since Laito likes to see his prey try and his prey's stubbornness always amuses him.
This is why if a girl is submissive to Laito, Laito will never be attracted to that girl and finds her boring. In fact, it was Yui's special quality that made him the first person to see even a little bit of Laito's kind and pure love. Of course, this pure love of Laito can be interpreted in different ways, which has a different analysis of this CD.
As usual and like the previous CDs, Yui is suffering from a disease that weakened her heart. But Laito isn't like Reiji or Subaru, who notices Yui's poor health right away.
So when Yui can't continue the game the way Laito wants, Laito gets frustrated. In any case, Yui is someone who never gives up easily, and this is what made Laito attracted to Yui, that's why when he saw Yui not trying to escape from Laito in this game, at first he thought that Yui didn't take the game seriously.
In any case, when Laito wins, he also receives his prize. Even Yui's body shaking doesn't make Laito immediately notice her illness. Why? Because we are talking about Laito. A boy who can interpret the worst things in a way that is enjoyable for himself.
I personally believe that Laito is one of the smartest characters in this story. It's wrong to say that Laito doesn't notice Yui's bad situation. In fact, he noticed this the same day he was playing with Yui in the waterway, but the reason he doesn't pay attention to it is not because he didn't notice Yui's unusual illness.
He doesn't really want to pay attention to it. Laito considers himself a carefree and happy person and wants to maintain this fake persona that he has created for himself. Even thinking that Cordelia's return is painful for Laito, that's why he doesn't even want to think about it. And because he knows that perhaps Yui's illness is related to Cordelia, he tries to ignore it.
But Laito's behavior when he saw Yui using the medicine was really cruel. I mean Yui really needed that medicine. Come on, Laito, be at least kind enough to let her use that medicine to improve her health and restore her energy, but what you said to her was very cruel. Are you so selfish that you just don't want to suck the nasty blood soaked in medicine and ignore Yui's whole illness?
It's really funny that Laito says that if Cordelia is behind all of this, you should stop trying to fix things. It's really strange to hear this from a guy who loves tough girls, but I think it's a sign that Laito has been giving in to Cordelia for years. In fact, since he forgot his innocence and was infected by Cordelia.
Laito's character is very complex. The thoughts in his head are completely different from the sentences he utters in front of others. You can never judge him by his words because the thoughts in his head are completely different from the sentences he utters. Knowing Laito's thoughts on Yui, we can definitely tell that he is worried about Yui even if he pretends not to care.
It is not an exaggeration to say that Laito is afraid of Cordelia. Laito pointed out that if she was behind all this, he should surrender.
I don't know how to describe how Laito feels about Cordelia, but Cordelia definitely made Laito the person he is now. Because even Laito himself has forgotten his real identity and misinterpreted his feelings towards his mother. Laito never wanted to be infected. Maybe this is the reason why he doesn't like others to be pure and tries to pollute them. So easy that if I am not pure, others should not be pure either.
Does the fear of Cordelia's presence make Laito force Yui to stay at home and rest, or is it the fear of her becoming weaker? In my opinion, both. Laito keeps thinking about Yui's bad situation and we can't deny that he is worried about Yui, but he doesn't like to express this concern directly, so he uses Cordelia as an excuse. But even the presence of Cordelia scares Laito, so even this is not a lie.
The fact that Laito keeps thinking about Yui but tries to lie even to himself with different words shows that he is not being honest with himself. Or in other words, Laito is lost in this false identity he has created for himself and thinks that if he is really worried about the one he loves, he can no longer be his true self, while all these feelings are showing us the real Laito. Laito who tried to hide behind a false identity for years. This is something he himself admits.
(I shouldn't care about it. That's what someone like me should do.) Actually, the false persona that Laito uses to hide in this cruel world. This is Laito's way of defending himself against the oppression of the world. Hiding in a false identity that hurts everyone and cares for no one. Even if this Laito is not real.
Laito's excuses for forcing Yui to eat to regain her health are believable because that's what Laito always pretended to be. That he doesn't care about anything but his own pleasure.
I have a question here. Why was Laito angry at Yui's apology? I mean, Laito didn't show so much sensitivity about this before and didn't shout that you shouldn't apologize if you didn't do anything wrong. Because none of these events are your fault.
I interpret this way that Laito gets irritated by Yui's purity. Maybe this is the reason for Laito's compassion towards Yui. Laito has witnessed how much Yui has suffered and endured for having Cordelia's heart, and the fact that she apologizes even though she is a victim makes Laito angry because he knows that Yui does not deserve to be treated like this. And that she considers all the bad things to be her own fault.
Laito doesn't say it in words, but he wants Yui to care more about herself and know how valuable her existence is. Laito has been hurt by a cruel world before, just like Yui is now, but Laito hides in a new identity to save himself, something Yui can never do because Yui is a pure and simple girl. Yui's innocence makes Laito angry so much that he shouts, don't apologize. You are not the one who should apologize.
Laito's attempt to avoid Yui is futile. He thinks about Yui every moment and everywhere, and even he considers this incident as karma.
Laito shouts out loud why my heart hurts. It is not possible that I got Yui's disease. These feelings are heavy and painful. He doesn't want to accept it, but the reason is because of his love for Yui, and seeing her wither before his eyes hurts him more than anything.
Laito does not want to experience the pain again. That's why he shouts, I don't need these feelings. These feelings are not mine.
In fact, Laito has forgotten his true identity and thinks that these feelings have nothing to do with his new identity. But he never gets rid of them. Because Laito is still the same guy who stands behind a mask because he doesn't want to get hurt.
Laito does not want to accept these feelings lightly. Because he is Sakamaki Laito. Vampire who says lies and does not care about anyone. The mask with which Laito shows himself to the world. But behind this mask, the real Laito is hidden and does not want to come out. So he tries to get rid of these painful feelings in another way.
When Yui loses consciousness on a very dreamy date, Laito sees it as his best chance to end her pain right there. Of course, to end her pain? Or is this what he thinks?
"If we settle everything here, both your pain and mine will be relieved. You are tired of this pain. me too. So wouldn't it be great to get rid of it right here?"
Laito doesn't expect Yui to agree with him. That's why when Yui smiles at him, Laito shouts that he didn't smile. Cry and beg for life.
Again, it's Laito fighting his own emotions. Seeing Yui's innocent and pure face who accepts death and smiles at him in the last moments of her life torments him more. The thought of how Yui can be so pure even when she is contaminated by his hands. How can Yui look at him with love like this when she is going to be killed by his hands.
but no Laito's hands do not move. Because that's not what he wants. These feelings tormented him even more than Yui's pain. He wanted to end his own pain, so he decided to end his own life instead of Yui.
These feelings torment Laito more than anything to see the dearest person in his life die in front of his eyes, or even worse, decide to kill her with a false mask, with the lie that the pain of both of them will be relieved.
This is why Laito considers himself a loser. A loser who didn't even try to save his lover and selfishly decided to relieve his own pain. Not the pain of his lover.
It is hard for him to imagine a world without Yui. The pain is much more terrible than the pain Yui used to endure. Laito sees this world with pain and suffering. That's why he wanted to relieve his pain quickly, not to see Yui's withering and death. Maybe it's a strange way to express love. But Laito needed to lose his true identity once to understand what his true feelings are and how much Yui is dear to him. His loss behind a false mask led him to find Yui and Yui saved him from the false world that Laito made for himself and showed him that even in a cruel world there is light and hope.
Yui is dear to Laito. Dearer than anyone else. Yui made Laito rediscover his true self. And understand that there is nothing wrong with having feelings and hiding them is more painful than anything else.
Laito knows that he can't live without Yui and that was the feeling that bothered him, but hiding behind a false mask was never the way to ease Laito's pain.
It was hard for him to express his feelings because he was afraid of people and the cruel world, but now with Yui's help, he has learned to overcome this fear and come out from behind the false mask. This is the only thing that relieves his pain. Being by Yui's side and expressing his true feelings.
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