#plagued by thoughts and emotions.
Well since I know it broke you, what about something involving Della (OG design) inspired by Never Love an Anchor for an art request?
Do you ever think of me and my two hands, and wonder why they never soothed your fevers?
And wonder why
They never tied your shoes?
And wonder why
They never held you gently?
And wonder why
They never had the chance to lose you?
-Never Love an Anchor, The Crane Wives
(rude.)
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I can’t get enough of how Rise!Splinter inadvertently caused a major break between two of his son’s relationship, and more a more minor break between all 4.
Yet this is also simply because Leo wants the past to come back, but Raph wants to prepare for the future.
HELP MY SOUL
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with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.
i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.
heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."
knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.
it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.
i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!
i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!
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I DID NOT realise that the plague rats in patho classic was THAT ferocious and unrelenting and that the hit box for the plague clouds were THAT big I’ve had to reload two saves so far
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Marek the type to let out a gut wrenching scream and tell you w the horrified defeated voice of someone who just went through hell and back that she missed the twinkies 50% sale by a day while Morshid will deliver the news of the passing of your mother with the deadest most neutral expression and tone of voice imaginable
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(wrote this song before i left for college but it’s sure applicable to life right now!!!!)
lyrics: falling from grace, i’m a rusting lace artifact / tears down my face as i break my immortal pact / trust me, i want to be healthy / trust me, i want to be special and loving and sweet / trust me, i know that i’m broken / please, i just want one more chance to prove that i could be the— / best friends know how to reveal me / best friends know how hard i try to have something to say / best friends know that it’s not helping / can i just go far away to where there’s nowhere else to— / turn around, up and down, i’m melting!!!! / turn around, i have something to say!!!! / color bleeding, heartbeat leaving, need a place to lay my head / arms are folded, fine print bolded, everything is overloaded!!!!!!!! / color faded by the sun, i bite my tongue, i’m coming undone / color faded by the sun, i bite my tongue, i’m coming undone / color faded by the sun, i bite my tongue / trust me, i want to be healthy / trust me, i want to be special and loving and sweet / trust me, i know that i’m broken / trust me, i know that i’m broken….
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HOLY SHIT NATSUME BEING A PHYSICAL EMBODIMENT OF A LUCKY CHARM FOR TSUMUGI
IM SAYING LIKE!!!!!!!! its been plaguing my mind for SO LONG and idk if people have talked about it before but. omg. its driving me crazy
also some additional food for thought now that i have ur attention (that i hinted at in the tags of that post) is tsumugi being the bluebird of happiness for natsume specifically. specifically referencing natsumes "foreseeing eye" 5* card with a blue bird on his shoulder despite tsumugi having nothing to do with the story itself (which would be odd considering thats tsumugis whole thing), except the story that card is accompanied by (meikyoushisui) is about natsume forming genuine friendships with his classmates. natsume not having friends was always a worry of tsumugis, but since tsumugi joined his life natsume has exited his comfort zone a bit more (be-it because tsumugi thinks they should do more lives or him outright telling natsume he should try making friends more because he doesnt want him to be lonely) and doesnt spend all his time in their secret hideout.
theres more that could be said on this probably but i just........... really love seeing the positive effects theyve had on each others lives, directly or indirectly
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speaking from a very emotional place because i only JUST finished the game (and sobbing uncontrollably through the entire last twenty minutes) and (spoilers and rambling under the cut)
yes, i knew hugo would die at the end. that got spoiled for me very early on. i was devastated when i found out, but i held out judgement because “maybe the way they execute it will work. maybe it’ll be a beautiful, but tragic ending. maybe there will still be hope.”
but no. instead they put this 5 year old through the ringer, had him grapple with self-loathing throughout the entire game which just had him uncontrollably destroy entire cities, had him continuously come to the conclusion that he was a monster who needed to die (a FIVE YEAR OLD CHILD)
and then the game ended going “yeah lol he needed to be put down like old yeller. hugo was beyond saving.”
and for what and for what??? what was the point???? what was i supposed to get out of that ending??? because we SAW the beginning of the cycle with basilius and aelia. we already got the tragedy with that; we learned what happens when the protector fails, when the carrier is isolated and hopeless. hugo and amicia were the opportunity to BREAK that cycle, and would have been the perfect candidates to do so because we spent two games with them. we spent two games caring about their bond. so for the game to pull this feels cheap and pointless.
i know asobo have said they currently have no plans to make a third game (though the second epilogue certainly leaves me doubtful of that) but it’ll be damn hard to get me to care about the new carrier and protector at all in that game, if it does happen. even if these hypothetical new characters do succeed where hugo and amicia failed, it will still feel cheap and unearned, because we spent two games with hugo and amicia. they should have been the ones to succeed. you cannot make me fall in love with these characters over the course of two games, have them fail in the most heart-wrenching way possible, and then try to make up for it by going “see? these characters who we only spent half the time building up succeeded though!”
it won’t be earned. all i will think is that it should have been hugo and amicia. hugo should have been able to grow and study botany or birds and make friends and amicia should have been able to see him grow up, secure in knowing that she had protected him.
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RULES: post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet or tell them something about it! and then tag as many people as you have WIPS.
I got tagged by little-escapist, thank ya!!
My WIP:s which may or may not have been untouched for who knows how long at this point:
A Week of Sorrow
Together
First Meetings
Soulmates?
This time I'm not tagging anyone, but if you see this and you want to do the thing, consider yourself tagged!!
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My life is falling apart
I live with my family still in a rotting biohazard of a house where everyone hates each other.
When I said “biohazard,” I meant biohazard. The whole place is covered in black mold, the ventilation is shit, and every time we try to fix something, we get yelled at by my grandparents (who own the house). They live upstairs in the three bedrooms, while the rest of us (7 total if we include the 2 pets) live in the basement where we freeze our asses off while deepthroating the mold up close. My grandfather even took my dad’s tools and equipment and saying he owns them.
It doesn’t help that my dad and grandpa are always fighting. I don’t know why, but my grandpa has always hated my father. He’s been kicked out multiple times, which meant he had to sleep in his car for periods at a time. Even after my grandfather’s recent heart attack. My dad was a paramedic back in the day, so he knew how to help him out. My dad ended up saving his life twice, and my grandpa still treats him like shit.
Recently, both of my parents disabled, as well. My dad is a veteran of Desert Storm and was a victim of chemicals from the burn pits. He has multiple fractures and slipped disks in his spine. The only reason he’s still walking is pure stubbornness. My mother had a stroke in early December of 2022. While she’s recovering from it well, she still has trouble speaking and typing. These factors essentially mean that both of them are not working, and yet they still have to be a pay pig for everyone else.
My uncle is a massive asshole. He constantly torments my mother and would rather go drinking than care for his feeble parents and his dog. The worst part is that he’s getting everything from my grandparents while my mother - his sister - is completely left out. It physically makes me sick to know that we’ll get nothing.
I tried to not talk about myself too much, but I will now. I’m queer, neurodivergent, enby, and terrified of the future right now. Not only am I forced to live with my abxser (won’t discuss here) but I have to subject myself to endless fights and emotional neglect. It’s gotten so bad that my appetite’s gone and I’m having those dark thoughts cloud my mind. The whole reason why I refuse to leave my room is so I can escape to a place where I’m loved. I’m severely touch starved and desperately need a way to both get my family out of this hellhole and get me away from everything else.
I’m fading and I need help.
But I don’t think it’s possible anymore.
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something something stress, something something depression, something something
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Do not give me a spare second to actually think about it , each one is agonizing.
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The thing that really gets to my heart about how Laios’s autism is portrayed in his conflict with Toshiro is that his pain is centered and sympathized with.
How many dozens, hundreds of stories have we gotten about that obnoxious side character who just won’t take the hint and get lost, plaguing the main character who is never up front about their actual feelings but we’re supposed to relate to? How it’s played for humor half the time, a lighthearted burden on the main to make them roll their eyes before the Big Challenges of their story, with no thought to the pain and loss of the side character investing so much emotion into caring for someone who finds them a nuisance?
I think it’s even more poignant that Ryoko Kui is writing from a Japanese perspective that puts Toshido’s approach even more in the default, culturally enforced norm, but still asks “what about the feelings of the person who doesn’t have that all-important knack for ‘reading the room’ and picking up on all those invisible messages never said aloud?” and encourages us to care
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OK yeah I can see why I was medicated and why I really gotta get back on them
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