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hero-deserves-to-be-happy · 1 month

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Let Kel Be Sad: An Analysis on Kel’s struggles to express his negative emotions

Like Hero, Kel is also a “fixer”—he would bend over backwards to solve his friends' problems and stop the world if it would make them happy again, and both him and his brother are such big hearted and generous people who would much rather be the emotional support for others rather than talk about their own problems and make a situation about themselves and their feelings. For Hero, this often involves burying his own feelings and faking happiness, but I don’t think it necessarily means this for Kel, even if he struggles to express his negative emotions.

To me, Kel’s happiness and positivity is genuine, but he dismisses, discounts, and often runs from his sadness when he does experience it.

Let's discuss under the cut.

[Mod Sprinkles made the joke that in another universe I (mod Acacia) would also run a blog called "Let Kel Be Sad" so here are some Kel thoughts. Thanks for indulging my ramblings! 🧡]

Disclaimer: These are just my personal opinions, perceptions, and headcanons about Kel (and Hero). There are a lot of ways his character can be interpreted, and one of the great things about fandom is getting to see different points of view and differing interpretations of characters we all know and love. I know I speak for both Sprinkles and myself when I say we have a lot of respect for that, and for that reason, I want to be upfront that, while I do genuinely believe Kel struggles expressing negative emotions (thus the "Let Kel Be Sad" title), I don't personally view Kel as someone whose happiness is "fake" in the same way as Hero's. I can see the appeal of this interpretation and can understand why people interpret his character in this way, but it personally does not vibe with my personal interpretations, perceptions, and headcanons of Kel and his character, so if you perceive/headcanon Kel in that way, this post probably won't be your cup of tea. Please keep that in mind.

Warnings: OMORI Spoilers and discussion of game-relevant heavier topics such death, trauma, and grief.

Kel wears his heart on his sleeve, but this doesn't mean that he is shallow. He is a big-hearted, deeply empathetic, and incredibly loyal friend, and it cannot be stated enough that one of Kel’s biggest strengths is his ability to use his natural positivity and resilience to lift up those around him. He’s really the hero of the game because none of the healing would have been possible if he hadn’t continued to believe in his friends even after all of this time, hadn’t encouraged them, and hadn’t built them up just by being Kel.

And while I do think Kel does struggle to express vulnerabilities and negative emotions, I don't personally think of Kel's unwavering optimism as a mask. In my mind, Kel is not an emotional repressor or burier in the same way as Hero. In fact, because he wears his heart on his sleeve, he would probably really struggle to fake an emotion he wasn’t feeling (even if it was something positive like happiness). If Kel doesn’t want to express an emotion, I imagine he runs from it and avoids it, since it’s not natural or easy for him to “replace” or “bury” it with a fake one. Whereas Hero is much more reserved and private about his feelings, no matter what they are, so it’s much easier for him to convincingly mask pain and suffering under layers and layers of fake happiness. I just don’t think Kel would be able to hold back those emotions for very long. His negative feelings would eventually just kind of explode out of him without thinking and/or they’d become so apparent from his expressions and/or actions (since he does wear his heart on his sleeve) and everyone (including the player of the game) would know that he had so much negativity under the surface.

This isn't to say that Kel is perfectly fine. He isn't. He has suffered a terrible loss just like everyone else, but I think the game makes it clear that Kel has the most acceptance surrounding Mari's death and that he has made peace with what happened more so than the other main characters. Please keep in mind that this is only relative to the other main cast. Kel may seem "well-adjusted" in comparison to his brother and his friends who are, quite frankly, barely keeping it together, but he would not necessarily be considered well-adjusted in comparison to the non-traumatized townies. I genuinely believe that Kel is still in the process of healing, but relative to the other main cast members, he is farther along in that journey than they are.

And in that way, the game doesn't really give us a moment where Kel is overwhelmed by grief in the same way as the rest of the characters. Yes, there is the scene (one of my personal favorites) where Kel shares about his fight with Hero, and it is incredibly vulnerable and gives a lot of subtly and nuance to his character, but I don't think it's necessarily evidence that the player can't accept Kel as he presents himself to us at face value in the way that we can't accept Hero as he presents himself to us at face value. As I recently discussed in this post, the scene where Sunny finds Hero crying alone at Mari’s piano on the night of "Two Days Left" tells the player that Hero's attempts to appear well-adjusted and "fine" are, at least to a certain extent, all for show. There isn’t a Kel equivalent of this scene which, I personally think, is meant to tell the player of the game that Kel is the most well-adjusted member of his friend group (key words here being "of his friend group") and the one who has the most acceptance surrounding Mari’s death. Additionally, Mod Sprinkles actually made the point that Sunny is extremely perceptive and sensitive to his friends’ feelings and emotions. If Kel was still harboring a lot of negativity surrounding Mari’s death, Sunny likely would have picked up on that and been more hesitant to go outside with him in the first place.

This isn’t to say that Kel doesn’t ever have any negative feelings and that he doesn’t struggle to express those sometimes, but I think this struggle to express “the bad stuff” doesn’t stem from a pressure he feels to be happy all the time. That said, I do wonder sometimes if he is a little scared of feeling sad. He wants to be happy and wants everyone around him to be happy, and I think there is this certain helplessness that he feels when he can’t cheer other people up. We see a little glimpse of that in his account of his & Hero’s fight after Mari’s death. I think watching someone he loved so much go through such a deep and debilitating depression at such a young age probably permanently affected him, and he might have some worries about getting “stuck” like his brother, wallowing in that sadness and grief if he allows himself to feel it.

However, this is an unwarranted fear because Kel and Hero are very different. Even though Kel might feel sad, and his feelings are absolutely valid, I don’t think he’s prone to that level of despair and depression that we see in Hero. Understanding that his experiences and emotional responses are different than his brother’s is a big part of growing up so it might take him a while to realize this, and in the meantime, I could see it possibly manifesting itself as a sort of avoidance of sadness.

Everyone grieves differently. This is a difficult concept for even adults to understand, so I can't imagine how hard it would be for a 12-year-old like Kel. Because Kel didn't grieve Mari in the same way as Hero or his friends and didn’t spiral into the same level of despair and depression as the others, I think he struggles with invalidating his own feelings to himself sometimes--writing them off as shallow and dismissing them to himself as "just not deep enough." Again, I think this goes back to the one (1) fight that Kel and Hero had. We don’t know exactly what they said to each other in that fight, but it’s my personal headcanon that Hero lashed out at Kel for “not understanding” for he felt. From then on, I think Kel really does struggle with this fear that he just doesn’t understand emotions and because of that, any attempts to help his hurting loved ones will only make everything worse.

I’d really like to see him reach a place in which he can accept that even if his feelings and his grief are different and perhaps not as lingeringly overwhelming as the others', that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have them and that doesn’t mean he didn’t care about Mari or his friends. In my mind, Kel’s hesitation and worry at expressing his negative feelings and his happy-go-lucky personality can both exist at the same time. I don't think they are mutually exclusive, and I tend to think of Kel as someone who naturally looks on the bright side of things and is genuinely optimistic and uplifting. To deny this feels like a disservice to (my personal perception of) Kel, but I think it is also a disservice to pretend he never feels sadness or any negative feelings at all. There has to be a balance.

Let Kel feel sad when he needs to but recognize that he doesn’t actually need to feel sad all that often.

#kel omori #omori kel #omori hero #hero omori #omori #omori meta #omori analysis #kel character analysis #hero character analysis #(at least a little bit)#omori spoilers #thanks for reading #hero loves his brother so we can talk about him here too i think

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meimi-haneoka · 6 months

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Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Chapter 79: Comments + JP-ENG translation differences

Welcome back to our monthly appointment, CCS fans! This chapter comes right after this month's full moon, the Hunter Moon! (lol yes I will feature the name of the relative full moon till the end of the story). And speaking of the end of the story, I will start this analysis and translation post from the end of the chapter, where I found the confirmation to the rumour that had been going on for hours before the official release on Comic Days:

yes, dear readers, this is not a drill, Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card Arc will end with chapter 80, after 7 years of serialization! 🎉✨ When *the last chapter* is announced, there's no turning back! No more sudden announcements of extensions! 🥹 But at the moment of writing this post, no mentions have been given about any "epilogue" or extra chapters that might be serialized in the upcoming months leading to the big release of volume 16 on April 1st!

On the translation side, I have to sigh in relief because no major misunderstandings happened in the ENG version, just some minor inaccuracies! I was kinda scared because this chapter is pretty important and complex in itself.

And let me say that what happened in this chapter 79 definitely marks the end of the climax, so I can totally see it ending in next chapter. The chapter tackled some very important thematics regarding the presence of "evil" in this series, that I will talk about extensively in my analysis.

The announcement today made me already a bit nostalgic and sad, but I want to strive hard to accompany myself and all of you towards the end of this arc with excitement and a smile, therefore I won't let myself be prey of the sadness yet and introduce you immediately to the gif of this month, because there's a lot we need to talk about and analyze and we can't waste time!!

This is entirely dedicated to our protagonist and heroine Sakura-chan, because damn, she really slayed this chapter!!! Under the cut to see what miracles she made happen!

The Color Page

My dear readers, after years of countless pleas on my social media, after being let down month after month, CLAMP FINALLY GRANTED ME A COLOR PAGE SOLELY DEDICATED TO KAITO AND AKIHO TOGETHER ON THE SECOND-TO-LAST CHAPTER!! Yaaaay!! Excuse me while I celebrate this event here in my little corner, especially after having a rough month! 🎉🎉🎉 I hope my followers thought of me when they saw it? Like "finally she'll stop asking for it" (breaking news, I'll keep asking for more even after the series is over) 😂 It took them 79 chapters to do so and honestly I'm laughing because....yes, I admit it, I expected another vibe for such an important color page coming after such an important emotional scene in chapter 78, but honestly the first thing I thought when I saw it was "....they had to wait 79 chapters for this? 😧" 😂because it's very very "regular", I think it would've been ok for this to come out long ago. LOL I'm being brutally honest here, I hope no one gets offended, especially because that pet peeve aside, OF COURSE I love this precious color page to bits, and I know under its "normalcy", its got a very important meaning to the both of them.

Akiho and Kaito are depicted together clearly during one of their travels....but the question is, is this from the past? Or the near future? I'd daresay they look the same age they are now, so this might probably be a foreshadowing for the future...? They'll keep travelling the world? But seeing the content of the chapter, this might also be just a call-back to their memories together and everything that they experienced during those travels, tightening their bond. Travelling the world is, after all, really their thing, their element. I really like Kaito's expression, with his usual smile that almost turns into a smirk, he gives off a vibe of being finally free to express his emotions. He looks carefree, and that's really something for him. Akiho, on the other hand, is always so much more expressive than him and you can literally feel the joy and excitement emanating from her delighted expression. Travelling with him makes her happy, so yes, should this be what awaits them in the finale, it's fine by me as long as they're happy (I'm rooting for the other option though, the "stay in Tomoeda with your newfound support network" route).

But as you know, I always have to analyze the color pages a bit deeper, especially when they're about these two. And since I had to keep myself distracted, I made a bit of research. Other than the "travelling" vibe, this illustration gives off also kind of a "vintage" vibe (which is another strong element to Akiho and Kaito). It seems Akiho is dressed in a sleeveless coat with cape and wearing a bonnet fully inspired by those worn by children in the second half of the 1800s, in the Victorian era.

(pic courtesy of Etsy) This is a model from 1896, for example. When I pinpointed the period, I immediately thought "uh, the Victorian era is also the period when Alice in Wonderland came out", although that was more towards the 1860s. I found it really interesting and a nice touch for this illustration with a retro flavor (the suitcase and purse also look kinda vintage).

But another thing that immediately caught my eyes were those cute birds landing on Kaito's shoulder and Akiho's bonnet. I immediately tried to look what kind of birds they are, and it seems like they could really be eastern bluebirds, typical of North America. Searching further, I found out that in several cultures bluebirds are harbinger of happiness and symbols of hope. I couldn't honestly have thought for a more fitting symbolism, for these two. Especially cause birds often are associated with an imagery of freedom, and this is something else that these two need, after being hunted by evil people for so long. They really do look free, in this color page. Also, the presence of the birds in this color page immediately brought me back to the color page of chapter 62, where we can see baby Kaito in a wintery setting, sitting on a lamppost, extending his little hand to a swallow coming to him. Swallows are a symbol of hope and bring a message of "spring is coming", and continuing from that message of hope, of "spring is coming for you too", we can finally see here in chapter 79 our Kaito with his true happiness, symbolized literally by the birds most associated with happiness. Another thing that caught my eyes is of course the lily depicted on the cover of the book Akiho is holding, a nice callback to Akiho's mother and Kaito's torment, Lilie. She's always going to be with them ❤️

The Japanese editorial text over the picture is an excerpt of what Momo was musing to herself in chapter 39, while imagining to talk to Kaito: "You traveled with her, and spent time together with her". I think CLAMP chose to feature this line to indicate an important thing that will be restored at the end of this chapter.

Everyone Is Doing Their Best

The chapter starts with a panel showing some light coming off Yukito's house, and we find out that even Touya fainted, exhausted by the effort to keep time stopped as much as possible. Ruby Moon is cradling his head on her lap trying to assist him and "recharge" his magical power, in hope to be able to maintain time "stopped" a bit more. In fact, if you notice, the "black covering" that symbolizes the time-stopping spell isn't completely destroyed yet, but only riddled with "holes", an indication that the spell is still somehow active, even if feebly. I imagine this might "slow down" the attacks, which are still coming but probably not at full speed like they would if the spell came undone completely. I have to point out immediately a mild inaccuracy in the ENG version, that I want to specify in order to dispel extreme theories before they're born: no, Ruby Moon didn't give up all of her powers to Touya, the verb used here is simply 補える, "can replenish (your magic)", not "give all".

Touya doesn't lose his sense of humor even in a dire situation like this, and comments sarcastically "What are you, a battery?", a clear recall to the whole "batteries" matter that came out in the un-rewritten world. Touya isn't supposed to remember about that, and he probably doesn't, but this is just a way from CLAMP to show that even in a situation where memories have been rewritten, some things will be unconsciously said again, because they're just meant to happen.

Ruby Moon calls for assistance from her "brother" Spinel Sun (love how even in these true forms, she still calls him "Suppy"), whom rejects the appellative of "battery" but agrees to give her a hand with "recharging" Touya to keep the spell up a bit longer. Everyone looks outside, only one thought in their minds, which is voiced clearly by a serious Tomoyo: "Sakura and everyone else are fighting with all they've got". I have to point out a typo here in the Japanese version (nothing serious, it can happen and will be surely fixed in the tankobon version): Tomoyo calls Sakura "Sakura-san". I loved the "sparkles" around Tomoyo's eyes, as if indicating that her extraordinary intuition is "at work" and just telling her that, even if they can't see them because they're quite far away, Sakura and the others are doing whatever they can to stop these attacks. And the fact they can see the attacks, but not their friends and their condition, must be really hard to witness, for all of them. But no worries, there's Touya nii-chan who's always ready to lighten the mood even in this challenging situation, joking that "If they don't get back before the curfew, they won't be getting their snacks tomorrow!". Here the ENG adds "squirt" to make Touya refer specifically to Sakura, but truth to be told, in the JP there's no subject, so he might be referring to everyone. It's amazing how he's able to keep his spirit up and be sarcastic even in this situation....he really believes in his little sister so much!

I'll Make Them Forget About You

Back where our heroes are, the attacks keep coming relentlessly, countered by Syaoran, Yue and Kero in tandem. Sakura reflects on the fact that the only transparent Cards she's got left are these two she's holding in her hands (Time and Rewind) and Flight. This statement leads me to believe that when Record transformed into that crystal that entered her, that meant that the Card completed its duty and disappeared inside of her. But Sakura isn't worried at all, because she knows that she can create more Cards. Yessss, this development that I've been anticipating since quite some time is finally here! ✨🎉 Sakura seems to finally have a concrete plan, but before proceeding, she needs to ascertain something. She asks directly to Kaito: "The people who are using these spells were trying to hurt you, right?". Kaito, with a pensive face, answers affirmatively.

But it's when Sakura asks again "Were they trying to hurt Akiho too?" that his expression turns really painful, the background after him portraying well his raging emotions and, while Mokona-sensei chose to leave Akiho hidden by Kaito's black wings in the previous panels, now she finally shows how both she and Kaito are holding onto eachother, while our boy answers with a "...Yes" dripping with sorrow. It really squeezed my heart with pain, this scene. Because as long as Sakura was asking about him, his expression was pensive but almost as if it's something he's used to, that didn't shake him too much. But when Sakura mentions Akiho, god, that wrecked him. Any mention, any reminescence of what those bastards did to her and how they were chasing after her to put their filthy hands on her again wrecks him even now, and it's like Mokona with her visual skills is showing how Kaito seems to be holding Akiho a little bit tighter, while he answers Sakura's question. I also have to point out something that I had noticed already from last chapter, but a panel tricked me into believing I was just seeing things: CLAMP here use a dark screentone for Kaito's eyes, that he never had before (actually, no other character in CCS got this effect in their eyes). This effect will be used on him for the entire chapter.

And it seems like it's the very same screentone that was used for the dragon. I think this might be an indication that the wings aren't the only reminescence of his dragon appearance!

Sakura shows once again an incredible empathy that allows her to go right to the heart of the issue without investigating much. If Kaito rewrote an entire world, and if it's true that Akiho in the previous world didn't have all the love and familiar support she's got now, it means that she was probably in danger too. And seeing as these people are attacking them now because they freed Kaito from his "punishment", Sakura doesn't really need much to make 2+2 and understand the situation. Sakura believes in Akiho, therefore she believes in Kaito too, and knows that if he came to this point it's because they were in a desperate and dangerous situation.

Showing an incredible insight, Sakura shocks both Kaito and Akiho by asking:

Sakura, JP: "In that case, can I make those people forget about you both?"

Because our girl needs to make sure that the plan she came up with won't have any undesired consequences. But most importantly, she needs to have their consent. She reiterates this once again, actually she will make sure to ask Kaito and Akiho's consent 3 times in total. She says: JP, lit. "If going back to before the world was rewritten will put you through hardships once again, then, can I just make them forget?" Kaito is even more shocked, because he finally understands Sakura's intent. A generous, selfless intent born from a loving heart. Our girl wants to make sure that these two will be safe and sound once she fixes this situation. She can't take risks, because their happiness is all she's really caring for right now. And in his shocked expression, I can also see some kind of "omg YES, PLEASE" vibe. Because probably, having those terrible people forgetting all about them is everything he ever wished, but couldn't achieve. And I think it's really funny how we berated Kaito so much in the past chapters for making Akiho and the others forget facts that happened before and forgetting about him, but here Sakura just takes "inspiration" from him and actually decides to use that same "trick" in the right way. Because it's not fair that it should be them, the abused people, to forget about their most important person, in order to achieve a happy life for at least one of them. It isn't fair and it isn't right that Kaito was driven into making all the mess that he made, pushed by desperation. The abusers, that clan and Association of magicians, should be the ones forgetting.

But this is Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card's finale, and Sakura definitely hasn't finished with being amazing yet, she actually just started. Her very strong power at this point allows her not only to see things that were difficult before, but also to connect the dots more easily thanks to that renowned instinct that I've always talked to you about, and that she learned to finally listen to.

As if she were seeing through him with X-rays, she confidently affirms that there's a book inside of him, a white book where you can inscribe magic on. And she also knows that that same book was inside Akiho, once. I guess this might be even coming from past memories of the unrewritten world (do you remember when, before the play started, Sakura said that she could feel something inside Akiho?). Akiho of course is shocked to hear that, and from her expression you can almost feel the chill that went down her spine in that moment. Sakura affirms that this book knows both Akiho and Kaito (thanks to the fact that it was inside both of them - something that I've always found painfully heartbreaking but also quite moving, for my ship), and it's got a very strong power inside of it. These will be two crucial things for Sakura's plan. In fact, our heroine is hellbent in attempting something pretty arduous: utilizing that artifact's power to create a new Card. For impartiality, I have to point out that the ENG added (completely on their whim) a "you, her special person" that isn't there in the JP version! Of course it's all the better for me, since they repeat (finally with the right adjective) that Kaito is Akiho's special person, but it's kinda funny that they messed it up so much in the previous chapters, and now they're adding it where there isn't any mention of it!

Sakura will be using a tool that knows the both of them, therefore she is sure that her plan will succeed, because the Card will know what it will need to erase. Sakura asks for Kaito and Akiho's agreement one last time. After hearing how those people wanted to hurt them both and even implanted the same magical artifact inside of her, Akiho is quite resolute and doesn't have any doubt: on with the wiping off! It doesn't matter who those people are, they've tried to harm her most important person and her too, so she doesn't really seem to give a damn about proceeding with this plan. Kaito, on the other hand, seems to be giving a more lackluster affirmative reply, but it's not that he's uncertain: he's just still riddled with guilt for all the mess that he's done, and he's probably realizing that now Sakura will need to put herself on the line in order to fix this and protect both of them, hence his sad face.

Still surfing the confidence wave, Sakura guesses that once those people have forgotten about Akiho and Kaito, then the magic arrows will stop too, and Kaito confirms that: forgetting about the person who had the Seal of D enforced on him will be equal to "undo" both the activation of the Seal itself (when Kaito removed the book from Akiho) and also the rescission of it (what Sakura did when she freed Kaito from the cage). This will therefore stop the arrows too, because the Seal wouldn't have been triggered in the first place. However, Kaito warns her that, although time is still barely "stopped" (because the time-stopping spell is still weakly on), it's necessary an enormous amount of power in order to do what Sakura wants to do. I have to point out another inaccuracy in the ENG translation in this part, which makes Kaito say "before things could get worse" and I have the feeling they misunderstood the word 辛うじて, "barely" or "narrowly", which is also written with the kanji of 辛い, "hard" or "tough". So Kaito isn't saying "before things could get worse" but actually meaning "although time is barely stopped".

Sakura doesn't seem to be scared by Kaito's warning, and activates her wand without a second thought, and immediately we can see that her task wil NOT be easy, as she can feel the strain almost right away.

Here we go with another inaccuracy of the ENG translation:

Sakura, ENG: "Great book, please show yourself! My power alone won't be enough...!" Sakura, JP: "The book....doesn't want to come out. (it's too difficult to pull it out) with just my power..."

Basically, Sakura isn't begging the book to "show itself", she's actually actively trying to pull it out of Kaito, and she's aware that it's opposing a lot of resistance, and her power alone isn't enough to take this damn book out. Sakura refuses to give up, because everyone else is doing their best too. Yes, everyone else.

And that's when CLAMP decided to bring us a big surprise for this finale.

A pair of hands seem to be appearing next to Sakura's, as if a spirit is hugging her from behind. We can see the famous fan that we learned to recognize so well ever since her first appearance in Movie 1. Sakura feels immediately the same magical power of Syaoran surrounding her, and with her instinct she finally recognizes her: it's Syaoran's mother, YELAN!!! We can see her, sweating and all, in her sacred chinese pavilion, lending her power to help in this difficult task.

What a great, welcome surprise for this finale!! You might have heard me saying on Twitter that Clear Card is really a celebration of motherhood, with this constant presence of mothers and mother figures who try to help these kids growing up without removing their right to choose for themselves. And since Yelan is the only mother figure who can concretely help Sakura in this moment, with her immense power, I really loved to see how this woman didn't hesitate to assist her future daugher in law. For any SyaoSaku fan, this scene here is a huge thing. We have seen in the anime how Yelan doted on Sakura ever since she met her in Movie 1, even before her own son realized his feelings for this girl. Yelan and Sakura haven't met in the manga yet (and hello, CLAMP, now this is a good chance for letting that happen, after the madness is over), but the woman didn't hesitate a moment to lend her power. I can really imagine how along these two will get, in the future. ❤️

Sakura thanks her aloud, while her eyes show that she's really really tired. Yelan's assistance is finally effective in summoning the artifact book out of Kaito, and we see again those countless book pages that we saw both when Akiho used to go "berserk", and also in the most heartbreaking scene of chapter 70. Kaito, still holding onto a worried Akiho, seems to suffer physically from this removal, and I can't understand if it's because removing something magical from inside is naturally painful (we've been shown something like that before, Syaoran crouching to the ground in pain while the Sakura Cards were being removed from inside of him) OR if the removal of the artifact also triggered his poor health conditions in which we left him, before he disappeared in chapter 70.

Sakura tries with all she's got and finally manages to turn the artifact into its "true form": a book filled with countless of spells written in strange magic runes.

You have spotted it, right? ☝️ I haven't seen many fandom reactions yet, but I guess this "cameo" made more than one person scream: it's Fay D. Fluorite's tattoo, yes! This page of the "book" is probably describing the procedure to cast that tattoo (which was also a kind of "seal", if I remember correctly). So that spells exists in this CCS world too! 😅 The magic Sakura is weaving starts "working" on the book, literally removing the spells from its pages and turning them back to their original form of magical books (remember that the Squids used to say that they would inscribe "magic books" and their power onto Akiho?).

Then, solemnly, we hear probably for the last time ever the magical incantation that accompanied us in the beginning of the story, used by Sakura to secure the strange manifestations of power into a transparent Card:

ENG: "Force without master, heed the call of my Staff of Dreams and become my power! SECURE!"

The countless of books and all this tremendous amount of power get secured into the birth of a new Card: BLANK!!!

Blank got the human appearance of Akiho, but also the protective wings of Kaito. The girl is holding a book (of course, how perfect for her) which is the representation of the artifact that was inside both Kaito and Akiho. This card is really so meaningful for someone like me who loves Akiho and Kaito. It's representing them united in their suffering (the artifact) but also in the hope for a better future (Akiho is smiling and the Card will be used to grant them safety, away from their abusers). I've always imagined that one of the last Cards Sakura might have produced would have Akiho and Kaito's elements, and here it is.

Also, how AWESOME is that Sakura managed to dispose of that damn artifact and succeeded to use it for Kaito and Akiho's sake, and turned it against the monsters who created it??? HOW. AWESOME. IS. THAT!!!!

Producing the very first consciously created transparent Card sucked almost all of Sakura's power and strength, and she's close to fainting, under the terrified eyes of Akiho, who lets go of Kaito for a moment in a gesture of going towards her "sister". But Sakura isn't done yet, no. She can't give up yet because her job isn't done.

And I Will Make Them Remember About You

Sakura wants for Akiho and the people who care about her (the ENG decided to translate this with "the people SHE holds dear") to remember who Akiho really is. She wants basically to "undo" what the rewriting of the world caused on the people who know Akiho, making them believe that she was born into the Kinomoto family and that she was Sakura and Touya's sister.

After pondering for a while and discussing with my friends over at my Discord server, I decided I'm not gonna go out on a limb and assume things from this decision, because I definitely NEED to read the next chapter to see how much Sakura intends people to remember, with this move. It's really not clear at all, as of now.

Anyway, other translation inaccuracy incoming!

Sakura, ENG: "I'm going to make another new card for that...and I might not have the power to do it alone" Sakura, JP: "It might probably be really difficult to create one more new card with my power, right now..."

As you can see, the nuance is different, because Sakura in the JP addresses how it's almost impossible for her to create another new card in the situation she is in right now, exhausted and all.

That's why, very cleverly, she's going to do something different. (My gosh how proud I am of this girl!!)

Saying "But these two Cards will surely help me", Sakura skillfully manages to merge Time and Rewind to create a new Card, not from scratch (which requires more power) but using what she's already got: and that's how the REMIND Card is born!!! The name of the Card originated by just replacing the "W" of Rewind with the "M" of Time. Ingenious, isn't it???

And as the two Cards merge, they give us lots of flashbacks, like the "effect" used here resembles a lot the one that used to happen when Sakura was changing the Clow Cards into the Sakura Cards back in the old arcs, or how the merging of two Cards seems to also be a callback to how the "card without name" and the "Nothing" merged to create HOPE in the very last minutes of Movie 2! What a nostalgic trip down the memories lane!

And the appearance of this Card is even more touching, because it features Syaoran (with his current age) holding Nadeshiko's pendant watch. I found that so sweet, especially coupled with Yelan's assistance to Sakura in this chapter. Yelan associated with Sakura, and Syaoran associated with Nadeshiko. How sweet. And when you think that even Lilie, Akiho's mother, was associated with Kaito, you really can realize that this is some kind of "theme" that CLAMP seemed to be wanting to portray in this story.

I Can't Be On Everyone's Side

And now, the scene that I think is worth the whole chapter, but probably the whole Clear Card Arc in its entirety. As usual, with important scenes, I'll use the literal translation from Japanese:

Sakura, JP: "It might not be right that there'll be people who will forget things (after this), but....I can't be everyone's friend/ally/can't be on everyone's side. So I won't go back...but actually, along with the people important to me... I WANT TO GO ON"

Wow. Let that sink in.

Sakura, of Cardcaptor Sakura, just came to the realization and spelled out clearly that she cannot be on everyone's side. That she cannot be "everyone's friend", like in a cheesy fairytale.

And I really, really, want to thank CLAMP-sensei for this scene and this line because for a period, long time ago, I was worried that this story would go down the "let's be friends" or "let's show sympathy to them" route. But as the chapters continued and the things CLAMP told us about the Association and the Squids were more and more cruel, and they made me more and more sick, I started to realize that there was simply no way CLAMP could've had Sakura try to justify or compromise with them. Because when cruelty is real, there's no compromise to be made.

This scene also shows how Sakura realizes for the first time ever that in her world, contrary to what we all believed previously, evil exists. It might not touch her or her "entourage" directly (and she's really blessed for that), but it exists out there and it's hurting people, people who can also become really important to her. And she decides to not stand idly by, blessed as she is with the luck of not experiencing that evilness, but actually using whatever it is in her power to bring those suffering people to safety.

Sakura cannot fight those people on equal terms. She's just 13, and although her power is very strong, she's still inexperienced. Moreover, she cannot really bring herself to deny her current nature and use violence on other human beings. That's not Sakura. I want you guys to reflect on this because I know that one of the favorite things expected for this finale was to have a direct magical confrontation with the true villains of this arc, defeating them and restablishing the peace. And I am sincere when I say that I would've wished for the same too, because you know how much I love Kaito and Akiho, and how much I was disgusted to read about what they did to them. I've spread my "burn the squids" gifs all over the fandom. I wanted someone to vindicate them. But not here. Not in this manga. I realized that after the initial satisfaction, I would've probably felt like the series would've been "defiled". And that's exactly what happens when you answer to violence with more violence.

Sakura just could not go hunting those bastards down and defeat them in a magical battle. Because, powerful and corrupted in their greed as they are, the only way to "fix" this situation would've been to exterminate them. I just could not picture this story to cross that boundary, no matter how much the bar had already been raised well over what we initially thought.

So, if someone out there is disappointed by this outcome, I'm sorry for you, but it was just not meant to be and I'm actually really glad that this series kept true to its fundamental values. Of course it would, CLAMP really do care about this series and they know very well how far to push the plot, and when to actually stop.

So what is the role of Akiho's clan and the Magic Association in this story, especially considering that we never saw their faces at all? Talking with lots of fans in these years, especially Japanese, I've come to the conclusion that they are not in this story to fill the "villain that needs to be deafeated" role, but actually they're a representation of abusive families that smother and suffocate their children with expectations, completely disregarding those children's natural inclinations, and abuse them when they do not meet such expectations, but also the society as a whole, that looks at you only basing on how it can take advantage of you. Which is exactly what happened to Akiho and Kaito, driving them to very dark places. The absence of faces for those characters makes it possible for the readers to see the Squids and the Association as the representation of whatever environment they relate the most to. It can be family, society, school, workplace etc... It also helps us focusing on their actions, rather than their faces, and not attribute any prejudice to them (because of religion, race, skin color, or whatever other attribute they could have).

Seeing as the story treats them more like a concept, than an actual entity, it's basically impossible for Sakura to defeat them (and their great power is an indication of that impossibility). Just like in real life, darkness will always exist, along with light. Good and evil will always be side by side. It's bigger than any of us. Then, what can we do, in a situation like this? What Sakura is choosing to do, here, is not to confront directly with violence these people who are way out of her league, and not even to sit back and look, but actually finding a way to make them forget about her friends and keeping her friends safe, granting them the possibility of living a happy life, finally away from the darkness of the past, healing the wounds on their souls together with the people they love and who love them back. Because even if you've been abused in the past, you can still hope for a happy life.

The focus here is all on helping the abused people. And Sakura, in order to do that, is okay with coming to terms with the fact that she can't be on everyone's side, and she needs to choose. In the end, the thing that really matters the most is to GO ON with your most important people. Not going back to what is lost, but going forward. And I know that this is such a CLAMP theme, and I'm glad that they reiterated it in this arc. When I say that Clear Card brought Sakura so much more closer to what's usual for CLAMP, I mean this.

The panel with Sakura raising her staff and shouting she wants to go on is absolutely beautiful, with those wings growing so big and unleashing Sakura's power in a storm of cherry blossom petals.

Sakura is exhausted, she finally reached her limit by using her ultimate magic. As she faints, her eyes just make it in time to catch a glimpse of her prince, the love of her life grabbing tightly his girlfriend's hand, to not let her fall, while the watch of Remind and the book of Blank do their job in the background. And I really loved this spread too, because even if it's not a conventional romantic scene made of physical display of love, this in my opinion is even more powerful. Many were reminded of Tsubasa, but I was also reminded of the long time those two spent unable to touch one another, and this scene here seems like a catharsis for that hardship they went through. Syaoran will always catch Sakura everytime she falls, he will always be there to grab her hand, no matter if he can really touch her or not. Cause his love is stronger than any kind of impediment. He will always be by her side, no matter what. When she's exhausted by her heroine's duties, she knows that she can always count on him to support her.

And speaking of "always be by her side", I just can't avoid mentioning how Akiho and Kaito stayed "glued" to eachother for the entire duration of this chapter, protecting and supporting one another. Kaito, in particular, kept holding Akiho even as Sakura's magic was hurting him like hell, because it was extracting the book from him. Even in excruciating pain, he did not let go of Akiho, intent in protecting her and keeping her safe in his hold. Akiho let go of him just for a moment when she was scared out of her mind for Sakura, but went back to him when she saw that her "sister" was hellbent in completing her task no matter what. Kaito, as the good "moon boy" he is, is someone who shows his feelings through his actions rather than words, just like Syaoran. And his constant grip on Akiho in this chapter, such an opposite act compared to how he used to stop his hand everytime it started reaching out to her, told me all that I needed to know about him: she's his most important person, and he will never let go of her, ever again.

Sakura wakes up in her bed. The scene is a direct parallel with an almost identical scene in chapter 3, as you can see here:

Kero is next to her and is relieved to see her awake, so he goes to shout in the hallway, directed to Touya, that Sakura is finally awake. Sakura seems a bit surprised to see Kero talking so nonchalantly with her brother, and he tells her that he chatted with him back at Yukito's house, together with Suppy, so I guess now he finds it "natural" to talk to her brother too! 😂 I'm kinda glad to know that, I like this "change of relationship", compared to the old series (and it was also kinda long overdue).

Sakura opens the palm of her hands and she finds the Dream Key, still intact and all. She also asks about Remind and Blank, and Kero confirms to her that she was able to use them successfully! Sakura is absolutely delighted to hear that, and says "We were able to go on!"

And thaaaaaaat's how the second-to-last chapter of Cardcaptor Sakura Clear Card ends! Solving a lot of the pending situations, but still leaving some secondary questions that will surely find a (more or less) detailed explanation in the final, next chapter. And well, we also have to prepare to not have ALL the answers to ALL the questions we might have. This is usual for CLAMP, and especially in their Spaces they never made it a secret that they love for their fans to wreck their brains over theories and imagining the characters' future after a series is over. They love for the fans to give their interpretations to things, they encourage that a lot (also because it creates more long-lasting engagement with their series).

Alas, I expect they'll leave something in particular to everyone's interpretation, but we'll see. 😅

Overall, I really loved this chapter and it was really emotional for me. I think it's fitting for a "climax". Sakura was ABSOLUTELY running the show and after this I dare anyone to say that she isn't the main character of her story. She pushed her limits, and even questioned her own morality in doing so. What a wonderful thing. She reminded me so much of Sakura-hime when she shooted all those monsters in order to take the precious egg, back in the Acid Tokyo arc of Tsubasa. She knew she was doing something bad, but her wish to do everything needed in order to "have him back" was stronger than anything else. And she made her own choice. Here, Sakura, on a smaller scale, made her own choice too.

Now, I hope in the last chapter we'll be granted the possibility to delve a bit more into Kaito and his thoughts, I need to see his character development, I need to see that he learned something from this. That he -at least- started to interrogate himself over the nature of his feelings for Akiho. I know it's reasonable to think that with him, things will take looooong time, but as least show me the signs. Because I need to know that Akiho will be truly happy with him (I know she will!), and she can only be if he's learned to be honest with himself. And learned what Lilie meant with the last conversation we saw between them.

Also, WHERE'S MOMO, I NEED TO SEE MOMO BEFORE THIS ENDS!!

Okay, this is probably the longest post I ever did but I think as the second-to-last chapter it deserved to have some big thematics explored in depth, because they're very important. I'm still pondering if I should divide the post of the final chapter in two because, in addition to even more pages, I expect there'll be soooooooooo much to talk about (cross your fingers with me that there won't be any translation mistake).

I also hope there'll be room for an epilogue or a couple of extra chapters, to help us coping with the separation in a more gradual way, cause after 7 years it's quite hard. I was curious to see the end, of course, but also not entirely ready to let this wonderful story go. I really, really enjoyed it and I say this from the bottom of my heart. I don't care what everyone else thinks, I can only be grateful to CLAMP for Clear Card Arc. 🙏

Chapter 80, along with all the tears that will come with it, is expected to be uploaded on November 29th on CLAMP's Youtube channel. Yes, it's less than a month away! I also expect some news about the anime (BLESS THE ANIME!! Something to cling onto when the manga is over 😭).

Well, see you at the end of November (please come to hold my hand cause I cannot do this alone, lol) !!!

#cardcaptor sakura #card captor sakura #ccsakura #clear card arc #ccs spoilers #sakura card captor #chapter 79 #sakura kinomoto #akiho shinomoto #yuna d. kaito #syaoran li #translation differences

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yumeka-sxf · 11 months

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A chronological analysis on Twilight and Yor - Season 1 Wrap-Up

*This is a wrap-up post for my Twiyor analysis series. If you missed the Introduction/Part 1, click here*

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As some of you may know, I'm fairly new to the SxF fandom, having only started watching the anime in October of last year. But it didn't take long for me to become hyperfixated enough to binge the manga, start my own blog, and develop ideas for analysis posts.

I've always enjoyed meta writing for my favorite fandoms, and SxF is definitely one of those! While I like many things about the story and characters, the Forgers overall, especially Twiyor, are my favorite thing about it, so I wanted to focus my first analysis posts on them. During my early months in the fandom, I found lots of good analyses and was impressed by the amount of talented fan writers out there. But rather than write random stand-alone posts, I wanted to express all my thoughts in chronological order. I eventually came up with the idea for this post series in December of last year, and after spending a solid month of writing during most of my free time, I finally felt I had enough to begin posting on a weekly basis.

Now that I've come to the end of the season 1 posts, I want to express my sincerest thanks to everyone who read them, especially those who left nice comments and reblogs. Even for those of you who only left likes, I appreciate it! I pay attention to the notes on my blog and it always makes my day to see the same people interacting with each new post every week. It's especially gratifying when I see a new person come along and leave a like on each post in order, one after another! In the many fandoms I've been in over the years, I always write for myself and my own enjoyment first, regardless of whether other people will enjoy my writing too. But it's nice to know that other people can also appreciate how I interpret things.

So here's what's going to happen with the post series going forward…

Since I want to continue keeping the posts as manga spoiler-free as possible, I won't start releasing the next batch of posts until season 2 airs (it's scheduled to air in October). I'll most likely release part 19 and onward towards the middle or end of season 2's run. I already have a good idea of what manga chapters will be adapted and will get them queued up beforehand.

On that note, I did end up having to tag a few of the season 1 posts for manga spoilers. I tried to avoid it as much as possible; I only discussed manga spoilers if I felt not doing so would be a disservice to my analysis. However, once season 2 airs, all but part 18 should be safe for anime-only fans! (I'll go back to those posts and remove the spoiler tags)

At some point during or slightly before season 2's airing, I plan to reblog all of my Twiyor analysis posts in order. If I can get the timing right, I hope to reblog part 18 (the last season 1 post) right before my start date for the first season 2 post. I'll probably do the reblogs just a few days apart before doing weekly releases again when I get to the new posts (for the reblogs, I'll be using the hashtag "#reblog for season 2 hype")

I don't have any other big analysis posts planned until then, with one exception…I do plan to write a post about Anya. I originally wanted to include her in the chronological series, but since her character arc is simpler and more straight-forward compared to Twilight's and Yor's, I didn't have nearly as much to say about her and figured it'd be best to talk about her in a separate post. Not sure when I'll release that post but should be sometime before season 2 as well.

Guess that's all for now! Thank you again to everyone who read this post series and I look forward to more compelling discussions in season 2!

#twiyor #spy family #spy x family #sxf #spyxfamily #loid forger #yor forger #sxf analysis #loid x yor #loidyor #sxf meta

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absolutebl · 10 months

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Hello, let me begin by saying that I love your posts and I love your opinions, analysis, and point of view, I think you have a rare mind and I'm glad you're covering BL as I think it's a very complex and dynamic genre in today's industry.

I work as a middle management business consultant, related to management of PR and marketing although not for film industry, but i've had experience in handling products as a brand manager so i imagine the case with GMMTV and other TV productions are smiliar if we can replace 'product' with 'artists' in this case.

I have some questions relating to the branding of First and Khaotung as a CP by GMMTV, for the life of mine I just could not understand the business reasoning behind it for several reasons:

1. They are both versatile actor with good experiences on their belt and so far has chemistry every other actor they played with. it might be a bit of a waste for GMM to lock them both in a pair.

2. At the time it seems Gawin and First was more popular than FK, it should be easier and less risky to market and sail this pair, this pair also have the advantage of being in a more well known series (Not Me).

3. Both First and Khaotung relationship dynamic seems to not fit any existing mould that current BL pairs have (e.g. there's no clearly defined S/U between them), this seems risky and might not be well received by typical BL fans (esp. Thai Fans).

4. GMM has been trying to replicate OffGun formula a lot, all of GMM other CP seems to follow OG formula to an extent, which is not the case at all with FK.

5. All of the series that both acted as a pair in (Eclipse, Moonlight Chicken, and OnlyFans), are series that i think contain mature themes and not generally something that caters to the taste of Thai BL fans.

This question has been bugging me for awhile. The funny thing is: I am personally a SomSom, an FK stan :D I love them both very much and I absolutely love them together, but the decision to pair them together just doesn't make sense to me, I don't understand what GMM is trying to do here with both of them.

Sorry it's a bit long and thankyou so much if you decided to answer this :)

Hi! Thank you!

(As usual I did this and then Tumblr ate it. I am so tired of this bullshit, why can't they fist the undo bug in the new editor? OR stop forcing us toe USE the damn thing.)

1. They are both versatile actor with good experiences on their belt and so far has chemistry every other actor they played with. it might be a bit of a waste for GMM to lock them both in a pair.

I don't think they will in the long run, I think they are just co-branding at the moment, probably because of all the sponsorship offers. And because they've been recast a few times as a pair since The Eclipse.

They seem to be having a good time with it.

I could be wrong. I picked K a while back as one of the GMMTV stable who was too versatile for them (and valuable to them because of that), and they'd never co-brand him in a big way (after the failure of Tonhon Chonlatee). Then The Eclipse happened.

But to be frank? From the actor career perspective? If they can co-brand into consistent leading roles... F & K are probubly gonna - it's better money than character work and solo or side couple gigs.

Gawin doesn't co-brand. Never has. Seems like he never will. He clearly doesn't like shipping culture or anything about it. (Doesn't like reality TV shows or variety or anything like that, either.) Which I get. Oh boy do I. I wouldn't be surprised if it's in his rider that he won't cater to performative ships. I've always suspected this is because he's half American. (And East Coast to boot.) He's... tough.... reads as a little grumpy and reserved. Won't soften his IRL image to cater to the public. It's a very individualistic attitude.

It's certainly clear he's turned down sponsorship gigs (as a co-brand), and if he took one in the future it'd have to have a dump truck of money attached. I was legitimately shocked he took on Be My Favorite.

So far as Not Me is concerned? Now it's too late, that ship has sailed. So to speak.

Yep, they are more like Nanon & Ohm. I'm actually pleased that GMMTV is letting them do this and not trying to force seme/uke on the brand.

It's a model set up somewhat by TayNew. I mean GMMTV tried to force that one, but as Tay said, "Just look at him, he's huge."

They always managed a very brotherly casual fun ship.

4. GMM has been trying to replicate OffGun formula a lot, all of GMM other CP seems to follow OG formula to an extent, which is not the case at all with FK.

Yes, because it's the most profitable formula. Especially in country. I would put EarthMix in as their clearest successors.

Parent houses always lack imagination.

Find a money-making formula. Repeat it until the audience gets tired or supersaturated or both. It's how market capitalization works.

To change is to impact the bottom line and that is dangerous. Generally speaking, it takes small upstart companies to truly effect change in this regard.

OffGun is an interesting case because Off was so resistant to the brand at first. He's come around, but it took a while.

Yes, it would be interesting to chart their sponsorship gigs. My guess is it's more global brands or those with an eye to the global market that use them.

I'm thinking it's a lot more like KARD in Kpop (performing better outside of country than in-country). Or the way Ukiss was for Japan. (An expansion intended group tailored to that market).

A country with an active and intentional soft power usually has subdivisions of effectiveness in the ranks of that power's product (in Korea's case Kpop, in Thailand's case BL). Stars that do better overseas - individuals, couples, groups. Ones that do better in specific countries.

A clever product manufacturer looking to contract with one of these branding elements, tracts this (popularity figures and market reach) and picks their representatives accordingly, and in accordance with their expansion interests.

#ABL talks about couple branding and Thai BL shipping as a market share #this industry is grasping and advantageous and kinda gross #that's the entertainment industry for ya #thai bl #firstkhao #OffGun #TayNew

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bookishfeylin · 6 months

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I joined this fandom loving Feyre, loving Feysand, loving the IC, just overall loving everything about the books. As such, I looked at the super pro-Feysand and such content. This was a mistake, as the longer I spend on diehard stan content, the more I want to punch walls. There's nothing wrong with loving Feyre, or even thinking Feysand is a cute couple you ship, but there are people who just deny them of ever having done wrong (not even to each other, just in general), or that Sarah didn't make some major oversights. The big thing I think of is Feyre as a high lady. I actually liked the whole "high lady" thing when I first read the series, but now I'm realizing how stupid it is. Feyre is wonderful, but she is still a 20 year old who has no formal training in accounting, in leadership, in politics, or any of the necessary requirements. You can't run for president until at least 35 for a reason. She can be as sweet as she wants, and host all the free painting classes, and be as motherly as possible, but when push comes to shove that won't lead a country. These people out here claiming "ah yes, Rhysand is pretty much retired at this point Feyre leads the whole nation and she's just the perfect High Lady" yadda yadda yadda, no. Also, I've discovered some people stan her destruction of the Spring Court? I'm not even pro Tamlin and I can accept that is absolutely not cool. Was it largely his own fault? Sure! But there was a necessary catalyst, and that's what they refuse to accept.

Anyway I'm just babbling at this point, but very few people in this fandom actually accept that Feyre is capable of wrongdoing (and that's okay! perfect characters are boring to read! you can love characters despite them being flawed!) AND can bear to tolerate a difference of opinion. Curate your fandom experience how you want it's your life, but don't be shocked when someone comes in with a valid point.

You've probably answered this 8000 times before, but what's your opinion on the whole "High Lady" thing?

Hi anon! This entire ask was such a pleasure to receive, and your ranting is perfectly fine (goodness knows I rant a LOT on a lot of my analysis posts in particular—). I actually have feelings™️ about the fall of Spring (though that is a post for another time and it’s something I’ve talked about before but I’ll keep from discussing it here so this post won’t be too long lol), but the High Lady thing is also something I have strong opinions on as well.

While I do understand Feyre's age and political inexperience being something that people get hung up on, I haven’t talked about it as much mainly because it’s not as big of a stickler for me. The main issue, for me, with the title of High Lady is that it is an empty title. No amount of Rhysand saying “look you have droplets of power from other people clearly you’re a ruler” changes that Feyre was not actually hand picked by magic to rule as defined by the (admittedly barebones) magic system we get. I talk about it more in this post, but ACOTAR 1 spells out that Hugh Lords are chosen by magic and as a result have a unique connection to their land and people. (PLEASE go read that post for the exact quotes I use and my discussion of said quotes!) Feyre lacks this connection, and is therefore not a real High Lady in any sense. It is merely an empty title, given to her to placate her and make her (and by extension her fans) feel like she has more power in her unbalanced relationship than she does, which is why she and many Feysand stans were blindsided by Rhysand's actions in ACOSF.

I say this, not maliciously, because anyone who’s read my content for any long period of time knows I’m actually very fond of book 1 Feyre in particular, but to point out that it’s merely another tactic by Rhysand to manipulate her. Feyre is left completely vulnerable and completely at her husband's mercy due to her incorrect belief that she has more power in their dynamic than she actually does, a dynamic that is showcased and exploited to the worst degree in ACOSF, and it’s largely possible because Feyre is not a legitimate High Lady in the full sense of the title who is owed her subjects loyalty and devotion the same way her husband is. It’s very tragic, actually, and it’s wild to me that the whole fandom fell for it.

#Someone save Feyre from her abusive husband PLEASE #Anyway thanks for the ask! And anon please go read that older post I linked to see exactly what I’m talking about #Because high lords are very unique in their magic and Feyre uh. Lacks that unique magic #ACOTAR analysis #Anti rhysand #rhysand's abuse #Anti acomaf #Sjm critical #Ask #anon

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humornaut · 11 months

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My Journey with Omori

Hey everyone. Rather than my usual analysis-type posts, this is going to go into my own personal experience with Omori. I've kind of wanted to do this for awhile, because I feel like I have a lot that I want to say about this game. This post is going to have major Omori spoilers. I will also be going into some criticisms of the game (though not particularly heavily). This one will be a long one.

My Background

This might not be something that people care about, but I feel it is important to start with my life situation at the time I discovered the game.

In 2020, I graduated from college with a degree in game design. If you remember 2020, you can probably guess where I'm going with this. Everyone left for spring break, and the day before we were supposed to come back, they extended break by a week. Then, at the end of that additional week, classes had gone fully remote. My three roommates at the time never really came back to campus, and I finished out the lease alone. I never got to do any kind of internship, and I didn't get a graduation ceremony. I really didn't know what I was doing with my life, and finding a job in the games industry seemed impossible. So, I made a decision to move in with my aunt and work at an insurance agency. I was states away from anyone I ever knew, working in an industry wholly unrelated to what I had just dedicated years of my life to studying, but it was a job.

I wonder a lot if this was the right call. At the time, it seemed like an obvious decision, but now, I'm even more unsure of my skills when it comes to breaking into the games industry, and working 40+ hours a week can really sap your motivation when it comes to personal projects.

As the world opened back up, I started hearing from all my friends less and less, and life really started getting monotonous. Living alone is expensive, and I'm not good at opening up to new people.

Last November, by chance, a comic by twitter user Shrimperini appeared on my feed (it's still the pinned tweet on her account if you want to see!). One thing led to another, I saw some more positive reviews of the game, and I ended up picking the game up on Switch when I saw at on sale at a Best Buy.

Now, anyone that knows me could tell you, this isn't the type of game I usually play. I've always gravitated towards things like strategy games or rogue-likes. I only really stray from that in a few cases, whether it's to play a game with my friends, or just a game that I've had a long-standing connection with, like Pokémon. I did play Undertale and Deltarune (and loved them!), but overall, this type of game was not one that I typically went out of my way to play.

Also important: I've never interacted with any fandom in the way that I do with Omori. You can trawl through my Twitter, you won't find much of me talking about ships or obsessing over details until I started talking about Omori. All this is to say: Omori was a bit of a first for me on a few different levels. So, let's get into my actual journey with the game.

The First Playthrough: The Sunny Route

I unfortunately already knew a few details about the game going into things, but nothing that was too big of a spoiler. Something that I think gets overlooked is how great Omori's prologue is. In my opinion, the first night in Headspace is the best night in Headspace, bar none. It perfectly sets you up for what the game's going to be about, and I want to talk more about that later, because I feel that it really shines on later playthroughs.

Based on what I said about my background, you can probably guess what I'm going to say. Sunny's story and personality resonated heavily with me. At school, I was always the quiet one, just kind of following what my friends wanted to do until I started coming out of my shell a bit later on. Faraway is very similar to the town and suburb that I grew up in, and I know that many people feel the same way. Walking around Faraway felt like walking around my own home town today, years after almost everyone I knew back then has moved out and started their own lives. I mean this literally, as well, since I started playing this game right around American Thanksgiving, so I actually was back in my home town. It's nostalgic in a way, and I think that that is a major strength of the game.

I also do want to say, that while a Kel/Sunny comic is what introduced me to the game, I mostly assumed that it wasn't actually a canon ship. What I didn't expect was for the game to actually depict a close male relationship that does border on romantic in its presentation, which made those opening transition scenes of Sunny and Basil so interesting (as well as Basil indirectly calling Omori cute during the flower meaning segment), though I do want to talk a little bit more about that later.

From there, I feel that my experience was a lot like most people's first time with the game. I got to experience Faraway, then tried to rush through Night 2 of Headspace without paying much attention, so that I could get back to the real world plot. I didn't pay much attention during Sweetheart's Castle, and it's already-commented-on gameplay drag issues felt exacerbated by the fact that I just wanted to get on with it.

Real world day 2 happens, I got to meet Hero in the real world, Basil gets pushed into the lake, etc, etc. The shroud has started to lift on what's actually going on here. The North Lake segment got me ready to figure out what was actually going on, but first: Last Resort and Humphrey.

It was around this time that I began wondering if there actually was any kind of gay subtext actually going on. Of course, I had seen the Lost Library entry for the ride home from the beach, but as I descended into Sunny's subconscious, the way that the game started talking about Basil took on a much different tone. I got to the Branch Coral, and listened to it talk about how Sunny and Basil are connected by a "string of fate". This immediately set off some alarm bells in my head. A lot of debate has been had about this line, but for me personally, even if a string of fate isn't always romantic imagery, it certainly is most of the time. Seeing it written in the game (as something that Sunny's subconscious is saying, no less) completely had me reconsidering if there was a connection, which I hadn't really thought about since Basil's disappearance. I thought about the photo album, and how well Basil is treated in Headspace, and it just had me thinking.

I got through Humphrey, finished up the side quests that I still had, and it was time to start Black Space. Prior to that, however, Stranger lead me through Basil's garden once again, going over the flower meanings. I took note about how the meaning of sunflowers, as it was the first time I made the connection about Sunny's name and Basil's meaning for them (plus him literally always facing Sunny in several scenes lol). And then there was what Basil said about white tulips.

Being honest, it was difficult for me to interpret Basil as not being in love with Sunny after that, and Stranger's dialogue in some of the Black Space rooms really cemented that for me.

Black Space as a whole left me extremely intrigued as to what the plan was. The way it ended really left me in suspense for what was really going on. How did it all relate to what happened to Mari? I had already assumed at this point that she had taken her own life, due to some of the imagery. But what else was going on here? I didn't exactly think the game was going to veer back from being a horror title to turn into some kind of dating sim, but it was clear to me that Basil was involved with some other secret.

In a reversal of what I had expected of the game up until this point, I found it difficult to care about the real world plot of the game during day 3. It didn't help that it felt like a rushed resolution of the Aubrey plot, and I felt like I was simply going through the motions. I still have no idea how I'm supposed to interpret the key in the treehouse and how it got there, and it felt a little aggravating that plans were being made between Aubrey and Hero to include the hooligans next time, while Basil himself was still locked in his room.

So then, the truth sequence. It completely blew away my expectations for what the game was saying, and recontextualized so much of what came before it. Sunny had done something awful by accident, and Basil had done something awful to protect him. That last "Do you want to save Basil?" really hit me hard. I hadn't felt so part of the game until this moment. It was like I was Sunny, and I was mulling over whether or not I forgive Basil for the horrible situation his actions put us both in. The stakes are high, because it's clear that something bad will happen to Basil if I don't. I didn't actually know it at the time, but this is the first time you can actually choose not to save Basil. It's emotional.

And the fight. The way the game creates confusion as to what is actually going on between Sunny and Basil during it by using vague wording and hallucinations. Basil's desperation and the way his desire to protect Sunny as his "perfect" best friend come together, leading to the fight.

Memory Lane happens, and I honestly didn't think much of it at the time. It was cool to see some of the memories in better detail, but it wasn't as emotional to me as what came before or what will come after.

I would be remiss to not include that we learn that it was actually Sunny that had a crush on Aubrey, and not the other way around. I had already suspected this, based on Aubrey not being close to him in the photo album, along with the Lost Library memory, but I remember thinking it was an interesting choice to have Basil be the one to call it out.

I finished up the game, and it impacted me a whole lot. I wasn't planning on playing the other route at first, as I heard that it was just Headspace and mostly unchanged, and I felt satisfied with the story that I got. I walked away with the understanding that pre-canon, Basil had feelings for Sunny that he likely didn't understand, while Sunny had a crush on Aubrey that he was never bold enough to pursue. How they felt at the time the game actually took place is irrelevant to the story being told, outside of us understanding that these are relatable individuals, and I walked away alright with that.

Of course, after that initial wave of emotions from the ending subsided, I did have some criticisms. Sunny's actual friendship with Aubrey felt underdeveloped, as her behavior both in Headspace and the real world differ so heavily from how she behaves in the glimpses we see of the past. Unlike Sunny's relationships with the others, there's no real unique identifiers other than Sunny's crush. While I would not have wanted the only living female character in the main cast to have been treated as a love interest in both the real world and dream world, it would have been nice if the game gave us a little more than just the swing set conversations, like how we get Kel talking about their late night trips to Hobbeez. In addition, while I understood on a base level that whether or not Basil and Sunny are forgiven didn't really matter to the story being told, not seeing it happen left me feeling a tad empty.

Finally, I felt extremely dissatisfied with Headspace. On a superficial level, I could see that many of the things in Headspace were based on things from the real world, it didn't really feel like it had all that much significance, and the knowledge that it would be more of the same in the other route kept me from playing it. I occasionally visited the subreddit, read a few post-canon fics (Bask in the Sun by Lemari and They say Flowers are Meant to be Sunkissed by Witherdahlia being highlights with very similar concepts), and slowly immersed myself in the Twitter community.

Of course, as time went by, I started making my own interpretations about the game. I got very attached to Sunflower, as I felt the fics were the most interesting to read, and I already held the interpretation that Basil had those feelings for Sunny, even if I didn't think it even mattered if Sunny reciprocated (though I did like talking about their dynamic a lot). In February, Sunflower week happened, and I randomly happened across a tweet that pointed out how Sunny knows the recipe for a strawberry cake in Headspace, with that being relevant due to Basil's birthday being one in which a strawberry cake appears. This blew my mind a little bit, and I made the decision to go back and play the Hikikomori route.

The Second Playthrough: The Hikikomori Route

What I had previously assumed would be a slog through things that I had already done before turned out to be far more interesting. Without the desire to get back to the real world plot hanging over me, I found myself paying a lot more attention to the things that were happening in Headspace. Playing the prologue again was amazing, because I was taken aback by how it practically parallels the entirety of the Sunny route, right down to having to retrieve a stolen item and receiving an eyepatch after the boss fight. Some day, I might break that down further, because it's so interesting. But not today.

Pyrefly Forest and Sweetheart's Castle were much more bearable this time around, because I was paying attention to the little references to Basil and Sunny's friendship in Pyrefly, and the ways Sweetheart's Castle represented a candied-up version of the way that Sunny interprets the concept of "home". This time through Headspace, I saw the very subtle ways that Basil's thoughts "follow Sunny into his dreams". And then, rather than Mari leading you through North Lake, it's Kel. Stranger no longer tells us what Basil thought about white tulips and Sunny, but this time in Black Space, I noticed the implications that Sunny would open up to Basil about his trauma coming from the Lake Incident. It ends with Omori catching Basil in a bridal carry before returning his flower crown.

Whereas the Sunny route was this heart wrenching tale about forgiveness and guilt, and overcoming your fears for others, and how ignorance hurts those you care about the most, the Hikikomori route functioned almost as this deep dive into Sunny's subconscious. The fact that I was playing through pretty much the exact same stuff again but with a completely different perspective kind of blew my mind, and I wonder if this was intentional.

This is all to say that it was around this time that I was once again asking myself the question of if Sunny's feelings for Basil (at least pre-canon) were entirely platonic. Especially as I played the Basil Rush, with its new Tag Photos and Release Energy, I wondered if the game was actually trying to imply a romantic connection. And if it was, why? What purpose would it serve in the narrative for these feelings to exist? How does it relate to Sunny's crush on Aubrey, which surely must've existed in the story for a reason? And how does it all relate to the litany of things Sunny things about in regards to romance?

From a narrative perspective, I could reason that Sunny and Basil having feelings for each other that they could never healthily explore injects further tragedy into the day of the incident and Sunny locking himself away. It provides a context for Sunny's focus on "saving" Basil, both in Headspace and the real world. Basil is undeniably linked to photos and flowers, which are two huge symbols that appear throughout Sunny's mind.

Everything else is stuff I've already spoken about before. The way Sunny treated Aubrey parallels how he treated Basil, and via both things like his fear of spiders, and the way all the foods Sunny appears to know information on how to prepare being associated with Basil, his dynamic with Basil mirrors the way Sunny thinks of Hero and Mari's relationship during Memory Lane.

Playing through the Hikikomori route completely changed the way that I thought about Omori. It was no longer just the story of Sunny accepting his role in his sister's death, I was also now considering the possibility that the game did have a romantic subtext between its two deuteragonists, and thinking about the repercussions of such an idea.

As I completed everything that there was to do in the Hikikomori route, I was immediately taken in with the idea of replaying the Sunny route, with all the knowledge I now had from my previous experiences. First, let me say: Everything that I assumed about playing through Headspace a second time and was luckily wrong about, actually applied on my third run. I did not enjoy playing through Headspace on my third run through, and it will likely be awhile before I do so again.

However, I did start to get an appreciation for details that I missed in my first run in Faraway. Basil's little mannerisms during cutscenes, such as looking to Sunny before responding to Kel's insistence that they were all still friends, as well as the repetition of Sunny backing away from his friends' pain due to his subconscious guilt and fear of facing it, before the final payoff of Sunny choosing to walk back into the center of the room on his own accord during the confrontation with Basil. During Memory Lane, I took note that in the Treehouse Memory, Sunny asked to see one of Basil's pictures that had nothing to do with Aubrey, when previously he only asked to look at pictures of her. There are three different instances in which the player is reminded that Hero and Mari's relationship specifically is one in which they cook for each other specifically, and this information was now recontextualized with the knowledge that Sunny knows the recipe for a strawberry cake, owns a book about tofu (which he hates), and that's not even getting into all the stuff about smoothies in Headspace. Where Aubrey saying that Sunny "would listen to her talk to hours" was once a confirmation that Aubrey and Sunny did have any kind of dynamic at all, I now saw it as a recontextualization of how we were told Sunny interacted with Basil. (also, the "truth" being hidden in the toy chest, which is itself hidden in the closet was certainly a choice /j)

What was the point of all this?

Frankly, it's starting to feel like I'm running out of things to say about Omori. With every post I've made on here and Twitter, there's less things for me to extrapolate from Omori's storytelling, and it's unlikely that we will ever get any more added on to canon. I've grown to love this community, and I think it's so interesting when I look back at how I interpreted the game back in November when I first discovered it, and today. I hope that that will become evident with the mod that I am working on, Senesce.

Obviously, everyone has their own ideas when it comes to what Omori is trying to imply with its characters. Accepting Sunflower as "canon" (in the sense that those feelings do exist in some form) has deepened my love of the game and characters, and I love that other people can have entirely different interpretations and still be just as satisfied with the game! Even if it was all unintentional, I cannot deny that it has lit a fire under me when it comes to game writing.

I desperately want to create a game that has someone at home obsessing over the smallest details to extract meaning in the way I have for Omori. Flawed as it may be, it's special to me, and I'm glad I played it. Thanks for listening to me ramble about it!

#omori #omori spoilers #omori sunflower #sunflower omori #sunnflower #omori basil #omori sunny #why omori matters to me #this has actually been sitting in my drafts for awhile #also ive never really gotten the chance to say #but i actually think it's irrelevant if sunny and basil's relationship would be healthy or not #or if they actually get together at some point #what happens after the credits is pure speculation and not worth arguing about #what's important is how those feelings impact interpretation of the game and its themes/symbolism #(even if I do find it most satisfying to think that they do get together at some point years down the line)#(and find the post credits scene of them smiling at each other to be extremely satisfying due to the idea that regardless of being forgiven #(they at least have each other)#ramble over

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pyropsychiccollector · 1 year

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A post from a buddy of mine recently got me inspired to do this, myself... But surprisingly not for Makoto. Don't get me wrong, Makoto's a great guy... But I feel like I haven't talked a lot about some of my other ships, they're just kind of... there.

I'm gonna take it easy, though. Don't wanna burn myself out writing these. However, for all you rareshippers out there, I felt it's long overdue to write an "analysis" for at least some of your diamonds in the rough. Tonight, I figured... why not start with Hajime? Let's dust off one of his ships and take a look at it. I'll leave Hinanami alone for now, 'cause that's a pretty well-covered one.

... So let's touch on the other girl that had a presence at the beginning of Hajime's journey in Danganronpa. Let's examine...

Hinazuryu (or Hinatsumi, to distinguish from the... yaoi variant)

Natsumi's often one of those girls that are brushed off by the fans for... reasons. Mainly the fact she died pre-game in Goodbye Despair, and was only there for an episode in Despair Arc. But aside from the brevity of her existence, how canon just speed-runs through the details involving her, in the short time we meet her in the anime, Natsumi is... uppity. Prickly. Whatever word you want to use. Natsumi's not a "people" person, she's picky about who she interacts with. She came to Hope's Peak for one reason, and one reason only: Because her brother's there. And she's a girl seemingly willing to do anything to achieve her goals. Because she's a daughter of the Head of the most notorious yakuza clan in the modern era of Japan, the Kuzuryu's.

Natsumi's not like most people in the Reserve Course. ... I mean, you kinda get that from the way she and Hajime aren't "blue people" from their perspective, but it goes a bit farther down the rabbit hole than aesthetics. People usually join the Reserve Course to get that "prestige" of, "Look at me! I attended the best school in the world, and I wasn't an Ultimate!" Even Hajime gravitated to the Reserve Course because he admired Hope's Peak so much, and hoped that by studying here he'd find the resolve to... be someone. To take pride in himself.

Natsumi already has that pride going for her. For better or for worse, she thinks her criminal family is cool. Powerful. They're so well known that even the general public knows they're crooks, yet the police can't or won't touch them - probably because lack of evidence, bribery, and/or blackmail. Naturally, this means Natsumi's not an angel, she was "born" to be bad, and she hasn't had a reason for reflecting on this because she's still a teenager, a child.

... But Natsumi's not completely happy. Sure, she knows who she is. Knows where she fits in life. But like anyone else, she yearns for something, for someone - in this case, it's her brother. It's not enough to be attending the same school. Because Hope's Peak is the best in the world, and her brother was accepted as an Ultimate, one of the people destined to guide society... at least that's how the academy and the rest of the world look at it. So it's like, Natsumi's here, but she's not here... All she's done is navigate a the huddled masses of society to the front of the line... but now there's a cordoned off area, like when you see celebrities attending a movie premier. She's at the front of the crowd, but Fuyuhiko's canoodiling with the rest of the celebrities. She wants to be out there with him... But she can't yet. Because before anything, Hope's Peak needs to recognize her as an Ultimate like her Big Bro.

And this is where Hajime enters the picture. Natsumi gets to the front of the line, and she meets this other guy that's frustrated to be here like her. Hajime wants to be at Hope's Peak, but above all he wants to find pride in himself. To have a talent, to be good at something. So even if Hajime doesn't completely "get" Natsumi, he at least empathizes with wishing to get into the Main Course. Hajime is a bit intimidated by Natsumi being with the yakuza, but at the same time he's going along with society's grand delusions and thinks that Natsumi's as much a "nobody" like the rest of them because she's not an Ultimate. He does think Natsumi's too high and mighty for a Reserve student, and it doesn't help when Mahiru comes to deliver lunch for Sato, because Natsumi takes that as her cue to start something... because she and Mahiru have history. Natsumi's got some burning jealousy and envy going on, calling the photographer a goody two shoes and threatening her because the way Natsumi sees it, if there's an open slot, then she can squeeze into the Main Course. Be with her brother.

....... It doesn't go that way. Of course it doesn't go that way... Natsumi riles up Sato twice, and it takes Hajime (and Mahiru, the first time) to keep things from getting violent because Natsumi's threatening the photographer. It's not a shining moment for Natsumi, it's not meant to be. She's too goal-driven. Her yakuza blood is seeping through. I've talked with Vergilsama92 a few times about the romanticization of yakuza in Japan, it is a thing to pain yakuza in honorable, tragic lights... But honestly, yakuza are still criminals at the end of the day. and this right here is a good example of the daughter of a kumicho being too cutthroat, too willing to do anything to achieve her goals. Hajime defends her not out of some servitude to the mob, but because as someone that idolizes Hope's Peak, who thinks he and Natsumi resonate as far as that goes... he doesn't want her to get in trouble or lose her chance by doing something stupid. Hajime barely knows this girl. ... And he still empathizes with her.

Unfortunately for Hajime, it's not as simple as Natsumi caring about the academy. About having a talent. Perhaps Natsumi does want pride, to some extent, but it's as she explains it to Hajime: she feels left behind if Fuyuhiko just goes on as the Ultimate Yakuza and she's nothing. Hajime absolutely understands where Natsumi's coming from... 'cause he feels that same "gap" between him and Chiaki, or any Main Course student/staff for that matter. Hajime tries using Chiaki's words of wisdom to cheer Natsumi up, that she doesn't need to have a talent or be an elite. ... But unfortunately, it backfires a little bit - because Hajime's grasping around in the dark for a light switch just like Natsumi is. Chiaki's advice is good... But you need something to fill the void of talent, and Hajime can only assume for Natsumi that would be her relationship with her Big Bro, tries to console her with the fact Fuyuhiko's happy to be with her regardless of title... But Natsumi's just too bitter, frustrated, and depressed. She idolizes Fuyuhiko just like Hajime idolizes Hope's Peak... and she believes her Bro should only have the very best people around him. She wants Fuyuhiko to be proud of her, not looking down from above, to stand by his side.

... And man, poor Hajime just has no idea what to say. Because he gets her. That's the whole reason he's reaching out to a relative stranger in the first place. And here's the ironic beauty of this scene: it's okay that Hajime doesn't know the answers yet. Some people might say, "Makoto would've known what to say, Chiaki would've known, Chisa would've known..." And to that, I say that's not necessarily true. Conundrums like this take time to sort through, and the fact that Makoto, Chiaki, and Chisa are all Ultimates, it would've made it challenging to interact with Natsumi at first - not because they're so arrogant, but because Natsumi would see them as, rightfully or not, people that are superior to her. Natsumi wouldn't be so quick to open up to a bunch of random Ultimates, not at this stage. She's too bitter and hurt.

In this instance, I really would argue that Hajime was the "best" person to connect with Natsumi in the beginning. They're not completely the same; Hajime just wants pride in himself, and Natsumi wants to feel equal to her Bro. Hajime doesn't have the answers yet, they both need to remove their idols from their unreachable pedestals, but with some more time it's possible that he and Natsumi could have settled into this mutual search of "something else". I'll reiterate: It's okay to not know what to say. I read an article recently that talks about how as a society we need to have a ready, immediate answer to every little thing, every eventuality... And that's just not true. You don't need to know how to make yourself presentable, to sell yourself... You just need to be yourself. It's one of the hardest things, I know. XD Employers want this and that, demand you to do this and that, but sometimes you just have to take a step back, to divorce your private life from your job. Just "be you." Not what somebody else tells you to be.

I suppose that's the crux, the tragedy of Hajime and Natsumi here. They're teenagers doing what teenagers do best: Trying to find themselves. Hajime wants to be good at something, Natsumi wants to be her brother's equal. Unfortunately, however, that puts them at the mercy of Hope's Peak's agenda, because all those lies they feed the public? If Hajime and Natsumi want to get their wishes, they'll have to become Ultimates. That's the only surefire way to get anywhere in life, that's the magic spell Hope's Peak has weaved over the general populace. But Reserve Course have no hopes of transferring into the Main Course - they're cash cows. And if on the very rare chance they develop a talent, then they go from being a cash cow to a guinea pig, an animal in a cage purely for observation to funnel all that research into the Kamukura Project. And Hajime's in the most dangerous position of all, being the first potential guinea pig for that Project. The academy's offering Hajime a carrot, and he's really tempted to reach out and take it... But he met Chiaki. Met her teacher. Met Mister Tengan. And now he's met Natsumi... And Hajime's just so lost on what he should do. He only has so much time to make a decision, and it's going to change his life no matter what. He'll either go for the carrot, and lose himself in the process; or he'll be cast out because his family isn't rich enough to keep sending him to school there.

Hajime feels this tug between two ideals - Chiaki's and Natsumi's. He wants to believe in Chiaki, that there's another way... but he jives with Natsumi so much that it hurts.

And then the unthinkable happens: Even though Hajime just met her, Natsumi dies. Sure, the audience could see that Sato was deeply disturbed, that she had her own obsession in Mahiru... And Natsumi threatening the photographer sent Sato over the edge. However, the characters don't have this omniscient understanding of people; Natsumi dies within days of being accepted to Hope's Peak's Reserve department. You might not think that this would impact Hajime so much... but it does. Much like how Darth Maul killing Qui-Gon helped decide Anakin's fate in Star Wars, the same kind of tragedy happens here: Hajime had someone that resonated with him. He had someone that bounced a dialogue off with him to help figure some things out... And now that person's gone.

Say what you will about Natsumi being a terrible role model or a terrible human being because she was a yakuza, but from what we can deduce from her death is that she is a victim in this case. Not a blameless one, but nothing suggests that she truly planned to off Mahiru, unless you take Sato at her word. We're left with this impression that Sato jumped the gun, and now Hope's Peak is in a pinch because of the upcoming exams - so they sweep the murder under the rug because the academy's good name comes first above all else.

Hajime plunges on ahead, oblivious to the politics involved. Because... he needs to find out the truth of Natsumi's death. Even if he barely knew her, he needs to know who killed her, and why... To give himself closure as much as Natsumi. Hajime's still so lost and reeling...

... And he can't catch a break. He overhears Sato and Mahiru talking in the courtyard, and is on the right track with suspecting Sato of the crime... But Sato refuses to talk to him. Leaving Hajime with only one option: Talk to Mahiru. Which... obviously doesn't happen. Because Hope's Peak doesn't let Reserves onto the Main Campus... And Juzo goes rough on him because he's trying to protect Hajime in his own arrogant, misguided way. Because Juzo knows the Steering Committee would bury the kid if he made too much noise about this murder.

It's the last straw for Hajime, however... He's hurt, he's broken... and Chiaki's "hope" rings hollow for him, because he doesn't see how a nobody like him can live in this world where the elite bury the nobodies like they don't even matter, a world where he's so powerless. He still admires and loves Chiaki a lot - but he can't live on like this. and he winds up choosing to take the carrot that Hope's Peak is giving him.

I come to the end of this long-ass summary of canon... to say that this only plays a very small part of my love for Hinatsumi. It's a small, yet meaningful part. Because like how Chiaki's death "snapped" him back to Hajime, it was Natsumi's death that was the trigger to the chain of events that cornered Hajime. Hajime barely knew this girl... and yet she had such a profound effect on his life because they were like reflections in a mirror. Honestly, Hinatsumi has some parallels to Naezono for me, 'cause Sayaka didn't get to live long, either... XD Admittedly, however, Natsumi is not a lovesick puppy for Hajime like Sayaka is for Makoto. ... Not. Even. Close.

Honestly, if Natsumi's death could have been averted, that would just be the starting point to a world of new possibilities. Let's start with the fact that Natsumi opened up to Hajime about her brother in the first place. This is a guy she just met, she's been looking down her nose at all these other "scrubs" that are their classmates... and here's this guy that, as wishy-washy as he can be, has shown that he has some spine. And sure, he whines and quibbles over how they're gonna get accepted into the Main Course, but he wants to get there. He could use some more time stewing in the pot or whatever, but Hajime's not completely hopeless. At least he tries to talk back to her, talk like they're equals; everyone else is so relaxed about being in the Hope's Peak... even though they're frankly not. Whether or not Natsumi realizes this yet, Hajime's someone that she respects on some level. Enough to tell him about her brother and how he deserves only the very best. And hey, maybe it's something that she's been meaning to get off her chest, and she hasn't found anyone to listen to her up until now...

At least it's a start. I imagine if Sato's attempted murder had failed for whatever reason, there'd still be this tension between Natsumi, Sato, and Mahiru; and Fuyuhiko and Peko would probably be dragged into it. But that obvious point aside, as the deadline for Hajime's decision draws closer, Natsumi would most likely press him about what's eating away at him, why he's so hung up on getting into that main campus...

And I think Hajime might just open up to her about his decision, in some capacity. Whether he tells her about the Project, or whether he keeps to the confidentiality agreement, he would still convey that his tuition's running out... And there's something he needs to decide on, if he's gonna stay here or not. Even if he keeps mum about the Project, Natsumi would probably understand it's something clandestine, something a bit too intense for Hajime's current level. ... And she'd probably tell him to just not have anything to do with it. Natsumi has seen shady shit, and it's not stuff that she'd wish on Hajime. If it was money troubles he was having, he should have just told her; I can see that as an attitude Natsumi would have. In a situation where Natsumi is saved from dying by Hajime (and yes, there's a few fanfics out there to that effect), her family would feel this sort of indebtedness to him, and would likely offer a deal for tuition money. But in worlds where the attempted murder is thwarted through other means, and Hajime doesn't have that reckless savior status going for him, I can see Natsumi talking with her brother or her dad to get a "job" lined up for Hajime, whether as a lookout or train him up as a bodyguard, whatever they feel Hajime needs to do to earn that tuition money, and they'd go from there.

Of course... I don't see Hajime all too thrilled to be making a deal with a yakuza group, but the alternative is losing his place at Hope's Peak altogether or accepting their Project when he's still so uncertain. In the spirit of "open-mindedness", I think Hajime would take a shot with working with the Kuzuryu's if he's primarily working with Natsumi or her brother that he hasn't met yet. The reason for that is that he knows Natsumi (... well, a little) and she seems sincere enough that her brother has scruples, too. Maybe he can have an effect on them or their family; and if not that, well, being trained in some capacity isn't a bad thing. Few others seem so willing to give Hajime a chance, and the ones that are honestly have their lives more together than Hajime does.... XD It's just speculation, but based on how he interacts with Natsumi and Fuyuhiko, I think he'd take a shot with them. ... Even if the carrot Hope's Peak is offering is so tantalizing. XDDD

Whatever path Hajime takes, whether it's leaving Hope's Peak or working with the Kuzuryu's... I think Natsumi would stay in touch, at least. Maybe if their friendship deepens, she'd transfer to his school eventually, if he decided to leave. It's just a hunch more than anything, but they wouldn't break off their tentative friendship, regardless of what Hajime does. Without a murder, Hope's Peak is less antsy, and that gives Hajime a much more "friendly" environment to avoid rushing into deciding to do the Kamukura Project. If he stays, chances are he'll meet Mahiru properly, meet Fuyuhiko and Peko, and possibly all of Chiaki's classmates... But as cozy with Chiaki as he is, I have a feeling Natsumi would get territorial before long. Seeing the goofballs that is Fuyuhiko's classmates, Natsumi might even lose a bit of confidence that going to the Main Course is what she wants... Hajime's a lot easier to handle, and some of them would just piss her off.... (人◕ω◕) She probably wouldn't give up going to the Main Course right away, and neither would Hajime, but more time to think about things would chill both of them out.

To properly end this off, I'll get into the more "shippy" reasons for why these two work. And yes, it's not because they're both Reserve Course... though that helps in chilling Natsumi out. That she's not being talked down to.

... *stares at height difference between Natsumi and Hajime* Just don't say anything, Pyro.... (人◕ω◕);;;;;;;;

Obviously, Hajime and Natsumi have different, even clashing personalities. This is great, because they balance each other out! They complement each other. Natsumi is short-tempered, foul-mouthed, bossy, stubborn, but she's got a backbone, and she'd help Hajime build up his. If Hajime works for the Kuzuryu's, it might be touch-and-go at first because Natsumi may be playful and screw around with having him do stuff for her or Fuyuhiko... But she'd also, sooner or later, pick up on his potential for talking to people. That is to say, Hajime might not have the answers to everything, but at least he tries and at least he listens. Natsumi might nudge him to "counselor"-esque positions, maybe at first (jokingly) suggesting to provide counsel to yakuza who want to leave or retire from the gang - Hajime would deadpan back that yakuza don't "retire" like most "professions." Maybe she wouldn't be completely hands-on with telling Hajime where to go, but if he eventually found something himself that he was relatively confident in, Natsumi would support him all the way.

Hajime, on the other hand, may be wishy-washy, uncertain, cautious, and down on himself a lot... But he does have scruples, he reflects, and he'd be down-to-earth which would offset Natsumi's fiery spirit. He might not be able to defuse "every" conflict Natsumi is a part of, but if they hang around each other enough, he'll help chill Natsumi out. In turn, she'll help give him a tenacity, a determination. Hajime would probably meet Fuyuhiko (and Peko) sooner rather than later, and boy would he be nervous. lol But he'd get to know Fuyuhiko a lot, and Fuyuhiko would see the balming effect Hajime has on Natsumi's obsessive drive to be his equal. And Fuyuhiko would approve the hell out of that. Anything to keep her from the stark raving madness that she embodied at the start of the school year.

Hajime and Natsumi would be a slow buildup for a romance... and that's honestly fine. Natsumi would see Hajime as a friend before anything else for a long time, and she'd have these other ideas for "boyfriend material"... And maybe she'd learn the hard way those types aren't what she's looking for. They'd sort of stumble into the romance, with Natsumi getting a bit jealous Hajime's so comfortable around Chiaki... give Hajime the cold shoulder if worse comes to worst, but then find out she misses his company, and tries to make it up to him. Hajime in turn gives Natsumi space when it seems like she needs it, and cares about her; though he'd probably flip a bit if he realized he was falling for a yakuza...

In an ideal world, perhaps Natsumi leaves the yakuza behind to raise a family with Hajime, someday. Like Fuyuhiko, she has scruples; and it's possible that Sato killing her is a sign that Natsumi isn't all hardcore and violent like she puts on. ... Maybe Sato just got lucky, we can't be sure. But I like to think if she keeps on developing, Natsumi will see the criminal underworld isn't all as glamorous as she thought it was, as a kid. Perhaps Hajime would see the conflict between morals and duty, and suggest they get out while they have the chance; Natsumi might not take it so well at first, but... Like Fuyuhiko, she might come to accept she can't "change" the family to the extent that she would want.... 'cause yakuza are criminals at the end of the day. They're not gonna be able to keep up an "honorable" facade forever.

That aside, in general, Hinatsumi is nice 'cause they're two wayward souls that balance each other out. They push and tug each other like the moon and the waves. Chances are, even if Hajime refuses the Project, the Tragedy's still gonna happen, just maybe not as we know it. But at least in this path, Hajime and Natsumi both have a chance to live and fight the good fight with Future Foundation. If the Tragedy never happens, well.... they'll still probably realize Hope's Peak isn't all it's cracked up to be. And they don't need to be Ultimates to live a satisfying life~

Hope you enjoyed my long-ass analysis/speculation on the Hinatsumi ship. Like I said, I wanna do this for some of my other favorite minor ships... Just to spread the love around. :3

#Danganronpa #Analysis #Hajime Hinata #natsumi kuzuryu #Hajime x Natsumi #Hinazuryu #Hinatsumi

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seventeenlovesthree · 2 months

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Digi Dynamic Shipping Game

Send me two names among the following 12 and I’ll write a short analysis post about them:

Whether canon provides input on them or not.

If you're a fan of Digimon Adventure in any capacity or at least familiar with the series - regardless of what kind of media we're talking about -, you will stumble across these two. One could say that they're the face of the franchise, the bread and butter of various chunks of the plot, the center of merchandise - and they have been a juggernaut in the fandom since the very beginning, probably only rivaled (or complemented) by the likes of Takari and Koumi (and maybe Daiken, depending on what corners you look at). Whether you're "oldschool" like me and call them "Taito" (or "Yamachi") or part of the more modern fandom, you may prefer to call them Taiyama/Yamatai - you know them. And why wouldn't you with that HUGE focus on their framing?!

Taichi and Yamato are being paralleled and contrasted against each other throughout the course of the entire series: They're the protagonist and his (temporary) rival, different yet similar in various aspects, which causes them to continuously clash with each other. Starting off as the stereotypes of "brash and hotheaded" vs. "reasonably cool", there is an ongoing theme of miscommunication between them throughout the years - and even though their Digimon are usually the first to evolve to every single next stage, it's their conflicts with each other (and reconciliations) that challenge each other's Crest meanings the most. Yamato starts off perceiving Taichi as "too reckless and inconsiderate", challenging his sense of courage and responsibility, whereas Taichi tries to calm Yamato's aggressiveness down, making him question his sense of friendship towards him and the group... They take their time to realize that they have much more in common than they initially thought - and that there are actually a lot of things they admire about the other, things they themselves lack. For example, they're both big brothers of younger siblings, both overprotective for very different reasons - but Yamato feeling incapable of being a good brother to Takeru like Taichi acts towards him at first is one of the reasons why Cherrymon is able to corrupt him temporarily, making him perceive Taichi as someone he needs to challenge and overcome.

But in the end, it's their bond to each other, their trust in the other that usually leads to victory; whether they let their siblings shoot arrows of love at them while they're holding hands to achieve the highest evolution level; whether they wait for the other to join a painful fight, because they know they can rely on each other; whether they get sucked through a computer to reach their partners simultaneously in the net to create the most iconic fusion in the entirety of Digimon; whether they gleefully bicker about how silly some of their fights were in the past, punching each other out of love and nostalgia; whether they start to question their own belief systems as they grow older, partly unable to communicate how much they believe in each other, so there is a lot of brooding and unspoken expectations, frustration and fondness between them; whether they mope about adulthood while being out for dinner and beer... It's the fact that, whenever they come together, putting their arguments aside to fight side by side, they're usually the reason why darkness won't succeed.

Long story short; they may have a contrasting/complementary theme going on most of the time - orange vs. blue, fire vs. ice -, but they do have a lot in common and develop a very close bond that lasts beyond adulthood. There may also be miscommunication between them here and there, but they trust and rely on each other greatly, they want to push each other to be better, a sense of "roughness yet softness" that shall never be underestimated.

Whether I think why and how they’d work.

As much as I can see the potential in everything I have pointed out above, I - personally - have always had a very hard time perceiving them through a romantic lense. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely see and understand the appeal, the trope this kind of ship is based on, the "constantly clashing off of each other, while being also completely ride or die for the other when the situation requires it". And whenever they are on good terms with each other, they are unstoppable - like I said, there is a sense of fondness and softness between them that is very intriguing. My biggest problem with that is that they keep falling back into old habits of miscommunication and that doesn't feel sustainable to me. Whenever you feel like they FINALLY got it, finally got over their differences and accept the other for who they are - there is another conflict (usually, but not exclusively, initiated by Yamato). Again, they're both not very good at using words towards each other (unless the situation is REALLY drastic), so either the harmonica has to do, or their fists...

For example, I like to point out how 02 already felt like some kind of logical honeymoon phase for them to me - and Kizuna kind of tried to pick that up again by showing that they were perfectly compatible going out for dinner without any serious disagreement between them. (Heck, even the Taiorato situation had NEVER been a "conflict" BETWEEN them, they had always been nothing but supportive of each other.)

But Tri was so heavy on making these two fail to communicate (for the sake of having a plot in the first place), that I am just asking myself how they would ever really be able to help each other grow OUTSIDE of world-saving contexts. They both suffer when they're at odds with each other, they don't enjoy it - Taichi always looks like a wounded puppy when Yamato gives him the cold shoulder and Yamato is so stuck in his Tsundere state, while being so unsure of himself, that he tends to be more verbally hurtful than he initially intended. He knows he "expects too much" of Taichi, he knows exactly why Taichi hesitates and has so many doubts - I'm pretty sure Yamato used to have the same doubts previously, I mean, he has punched them out of him before -, but he doesn't have the means to tell him.

My personal impression of Tri!Yamato is that he is so deep in the closet, that his love for Taichi (platonic, romantic, you name it!!!) could just burst out of him any minute now, but he absolutely doesn't know how to deal with that. So part of him rejects it - sometimes it bursts out of him violently, sometimes softly. He even offers Taichi that they can stop using Omegamon, because that would be "easier" for him - which sounds like the biggest "I know I can never have you and you probably don't want me anyway, and that's okay with me, I promise..." in the history of everything ever. And Taichi probably is subconsciously aware of that (somehow, even if he may not be able to fully process it), but isn't really able to act towards that either. (Heck, again, even Sora is aware of Yamato's feelings, but they all don't have the means to say it out loud! Hikari, Koushirou and Jyou hint at it at various points in Tri and the stageplay too, but it is never explicitly said...)

So in a sense, they feel like they're star-crossed lovers who aren't meant to be due to how they never find a way to actually cross the line. Like I said, Kizuna tries to show them being compatible - and it is true, they are close, but you get a feeling that there is always THAT ONE thing they cannot say. Taichi tries - but gets interrupted by SOMETHING or simply shies back. Yamato wants to - but gets unintentionally loud again and then the moment is over. They're both depressed to some degree by the time of Kizuna and both use the "Digimon duty" as escapism, as well as the moping-meet-ups to at least get out some steam. However, they are not able to pull each other out of that slump, they can't save each other unless they have to save the world as "Omegamon's enablers", because they're in too deep already...

Maybe in a Post-Beginning scenario where things are not at stake anymore, where they're reunited with their partners and back on track with their life paths, they could get another chance. Going on adventurous trips, playfully bickering again while everyone else shakes their heads at them like "Look at that old married couple again...", having fun, enjoying life. But if they just stay by themselves like that, kinda disconnected from the group and their true selves, it would feel more like "dysfunctional wound-licking" to me, with way too much pent-up frustration. And that is sad when you see all that love and ALL THAT potential...

Whether I’d prefer them as platonic or romantic ship.

I feel like I could have gone on about how they may play out, but in the end, while I can see all the potential outlined, I do prefer them to be platonic. It does feel like a tragic love story - and even if it kinda sounded like it, it isn't one-sided on Yamato's behalf either, there are mutual feelings involved, they just really have a tough time getting over their barriers and that's why I personally can't see them solving problems if they were in a long-term relationship. As mutually supportive friends who tend to have small arguments but reconcile eventually, always having each other's backs? HECK YEAH! I love the Yamataishirou friend group as well the, unfortunately, never fully explored Yamataikoura friend group and I love scenarios in which they tease each other about their crushes to others, but tl;dr: I prefer them to be platonic!

#my two cents #meta #digimon shipping game #taito #personal #long post

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biggestthighestgeminiest · 9 months

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Here are my combined thoughts about Barbie (2023) as I saw it on the 18th and have had more time to think abt it.

Some good, some bad - overall I very much enjoyed it, laughed my ass off, cried quite a bit, was enthralled by the set and costume design, but left feeling like some things were off and perhaps not accomplished in the best way. This will all be delivered in bullet points in a very chaotic and random way and is NOT ordered in importance omg. Anyways i love media analysis and I will probably not explain this in the best way but HERE WE GO

the casting was fantastic, everyone read the assignment and lived their campiest life, margot robbie was phenomenal and ryan gosling absolutely killed me with laughter, glorious glorious

set design, costume, props,, perfection when it comes to bringing the mattel products to life. bangin'

i had that stupid fucking dog that eats and shits. i lost my mind when he came on hsdgkhakh

the message of barbie being representative of all little girls is still very lost on me. the idea brought up when barbie speaks to the teens, where they tell her that she gave them unrealistic body standards- well this never really gets resolved at all. Yes there was a diverse range of Barbies but they were all still beautiful in a conventional way that adheres to western beauty ideals. every barbie has perfect hair and skin and clothes even by the end of the movie. and yes i guess barbie is supposed to be this "above everything else" sort of divine feminine beauty but is still not representative of most young girls. as hilarious as the line narrator's line about margot robbie is, it sort of knows itself, that it is showing us the most perfect looking women, but doesn't address it at all beyond a simple joke. honestly what will mattel do beyond this? i imagine people will be more than happy with this movie so they won't have to make any big changes. i mean their "curvy" fashionista isn't close to being fat, and i don't believe they will ever make a barbie that isn't conventionally beautiful... so this movie just sort of gets to say it's about accepting yourself without actual real-life substance if that makes sense? it reminds me of that cartoon of all those diverse yet conventionally attractive models, with diverse people who don't fit those standards standing outside that box looking angrily. what's the point of the film at the end of the day when not addressing all those people left out of the conversation? also made me annoyed that cellulite was still the big thing that barbie was concerned about, like really?? it's a bad example as people are coming to embrace cellulite and it's also relatively easy to hide, i don't think they would have margot robbie have like, idk, dark under eye circles or a double chin,, idk someone say this better than me but the cellulite thing annoyed me (as someone who has loads of it!!)

the plot was BONKERS and i for one don't really care about plot holes or cartoon logic. there were some things that made me overthink about barbie lore and then i thought to myself that it doesn't really matter. the campiness of it is more important. im sure it will deter some people but again i dont mind it being silly in that way as long as it delivers on its messages and themes, which it does to a certain extent

absolutely lost it at the you are kenough shirt, ljadhkglkhd

as i said in a previous post i predicted that it was going to be the mom who was paired with barbie. i loved the idea sm and it was very heartwarming

i CRIED when barbie first sat down and watched the humans around her living their life, she was so overwhelmed by so many emotions and it was such a simple moment of show-dont-tell and man did i weep :))

i LOVED the ken bits and i did feel as though there was a bit too much ken. especially at the end. but at the same time i loved the dance sequence. its hard loving it so much yet wanting it not to have been to prevalent. i felt like it took away from the barbies a bit which goes against the whole point of the movie????

um the barbie's plans of distracting the kens was... i guess reminiscent of all these spy or superhero movies where women use their beguiling nature against men to get the upper hand? like i am woman so i will flirt with man to distract while my team escapes and hooho it works :)) it was slightly different and not overly sexy or about flirting but it still had the same undertone. like really? the best way to get the other barbies out was to continue to conform to patriarchal standards and pump the ken's egos? surely there's a better way? yes the kens are idiots and turning them against each other works but it still felt a bit icky. i guess i just find this trope annoying being like... ok i am being taken advantage of men so i will USE the thing they oppress me for against them,, idk surely surely there's another way.

also America's character's plan of kidnapping the barbies and ... using very true and very valuable feminist lines to snap them out of it felt... weird? like what she was saying was 100% true but taking them out of context and almost using them as one liners made them feel less serious???? like making women "wake up" by just telling them about how the patriarchy takes advantage of them is just... idk. like in real life women who are indoctrinated and truly believe misogynistic things won't just wake up by being told such a line. and i know the barbies are brainwashed to forget their powerful feminist backgrounds so it's not entirely comparable to the women i just mentioned but... idk it felt disingenuous. i did laugh my ass off at the guitar scene but it still had that ickiness attached like..

i would watch this movie again, no doubt about it and i will definitely pick up on new things and easter eggs etc

mattel's board did make me laugh, perfectly casted and performed but again- mattel has its name on this. they know what they are doing. they know we will love this movie and not demand any change. it will still be full of men controlling the output of production. it will still put out products that don't reflect all young people's desires. it will still make products that uphold current societal norms. so having these buffoons in the board meeting just gets soured a bit when knowing these people will still be in power in real life....

the ruth bit made me cry and no i do not care that her ghost is just around. i loved it

the marketing team knows exactly what they are doing. the huge push of promotion made me gobble up all their interviews and im sure people will be buying all the barbie products. i am yet another victim of capitalism and i will thank them for it when i inevitably buy their you are kenough sweater

again i loved this movie despite all the bad things abt it. i love being critical of the wider impact of this movie while still enoying it as a piece of media and entertainment. i needed this movie and fuck it i want to go to barbieland so bad. i know i shouldnt. i love ken and think about ken more than i do barbie which is fucked up but the movie also played into it in a way,, as described before. i mean even ryan gosling being so iconic in all the interviews is adding into this lol. how many people are posting videos of him vs videos of the actresses i wonder.

also cockring ken. BUT HE WASNT WEARING THE COCKRING SO WHATS THE POINT EVEN???

the narrator was an interesting choice, personally wasn't a huge fan of it but it did somewhat fit with the rest of the cinematic language of the story so i can't say much about it

mattel knows exactly what its doing with putting its name on this movie. i think greta did a great job despite the constraints that mattel probably put on her,, it's hard to tell if the flaws of the movie come from the corporation's infuence or from the writer and director's creative decisions, most likely it's a combo of both. again i believe that the actors and designers and production team did a fantastic job with what they had, they committed to the bit. i would have loved for the movie to have been better, but it is still a great film in my book. as said before i would watch it again and would still enjoy it despite the flaws. the himbo part of my brain can shake hands with the media literacy one and emerge with an overall positive experience, yet PLEASE do not think this is the ultimate feminist movie, it is a step in the right direction, it could have been better, and i understand if you don't like it at all. but also i dont think it would be right to blindingly love it and call it perfect bc it's not.

#barbie spoilers #barbie #that being said i still wore pink and fairy wing shoes to the movie #and sang i'm just ken to myself #pls feel free to share your own opinions #and again i believe someone else will probably express this in a better way than me #intersectionality is definitely important here too #i do not have the best formulated arguments for it tho #so i hope people contribute to the wider discussion!!#watch the movie! and form your opinions! and discuss! wee #barbie 2023 #the barbie movie #i will probably regret posting this

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lipshits-continuous · 3 months

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Prime numbers of the ask game let's go!

This is gonna be a long old post haha /pos

2. What math classes did you do best in?:

It's joint between Analysis in Many Variables (literally just Multivariable calculus, I don't know why they gave it a fancy name) and Complex Analysis. Both of which I got 90% in :))

3. What math classes did you like the most?

Out of the ones I've completely finished: complex analysis

Including the ones I'm taking at the moment:

Topology

5. Are there areas of math that you enjoy? What are they?

Yes! They are Topology and Analysis. Analysis was my favourite for a while but topology is even better! (I still like analysis just as much though, topology is just more). I also really like group theory and linear algebra

7. What do you like about math?

The abstractness is really nice. Like I adore how abstract things can be (which is why I really like topology, especially now we're moving onto the algebraic topology stuff). What's better is when the abstract stuff behaves in a satisfying way. Like the definition of homotopy just behaves so nicely with everything (so far) for example.

11. Tell me a funny math story.

A short one but I am not the best at arithmetic at times. During secondary school we had to do these tests every so often that tested out arithmetic and other common maths skills and during one I confidently wrote 8·3=18. I guess it's not all that funny but ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

13. Do you have any stories of Mathematical failure you’d like to share?

I guess the competition I recently took part in counts as a failure? It's supposed to be a similar difficulty to the Putnam and I'm not great at competition maths anyway. I got 1/60 so pretty bad. But it was still interesting to do and I think I'll try it again next year so not wholly a failure I think

17. Are there any great female Mathematicians (living or dead) you would give a shout-out to?

Emmy Noether is an obvious one but I don't you could understate how cool she is. I won't name my lecturers cause I don't want to be doxxed but I have a few who are really cool! One of them gave a cool talk about spectral geometry the other week!

19. How did you solve it?

A bit vague? Usually I try messing around with things that might work until one of them does work

23. Will P=NP? Why or why not?

Honestly I'm not really that well versed in this problem but from what I understand I sure hope not.

29. You’re at the club and Grigori Perlman brushes his gorgeous locks of hair to the side and then proves your girl’s conjecture. WYD?

✨polyamory✨

31. Can you share a math pickup line?

Are you a subset of a vector space of the form x+V? Because you're affine plane

37. Have you ever used math in a novel or entertaining way?

Hmm not that I can think of /lh

41. Which is better named? The Chicken McNugget theorem? Or the Hairy Ball theorem?

Hairy Ball Theorem

43. Did you ever fail a math class?

Not so far

47. Just how big is a big number?

At least 3 I'd say

53. Do you collect anything that is math-related?

Textbooks! I probably have between 20 and 30 at the moment! 5 of which are about topology :3

59. Can you reccomend any online resources for math?

The bright side of mathematics is a great YouTube channel! There is a lot of variety in material and the videos aren't too long so are a great way to get exposed to new topics

61. Does 6 really *deserve* to be called a perfect number? What the h*ck did it ever do?

I think it needs to apologise to 7 for mistakingly accusing it of eating 9

67. Do you have any math tatoos?

I don't have any tattoos at all /lh

71. 👀

A monad is a monoid in the category of endofunctors

73. Can you program? What languages do you know?

I used to be decent at using Java but I've not done for years so I'm very rusty. I also know very basic python

Thanks for the ask!!

#maths posting #mathblr #maths #mathematics #lipshits asks #ask game #long post

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dumping-ideas · 1 year

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I was wondering if you've ever discussed the lyrics of Tondemo Wonderz on a post? If not, what are your thoughts on it?

I haven't because I don't think song analysis is my forte, and because lots of people already posted their thoughts about Tondemo Wonderz my interpretation on how it relates to Tsukasa might overlaps with them, if it's okay with you (o;_ _)o

(I'm using the full lyrics translation from vocaloid wiki and a little bit of my own reading of the JP here)

First, the words "memory" and "erase" kinda appear a lot in different parts of the song in a lot of context:

思い出に消しゴム！？　あれっ。(Take an eraser to your memories?! Huh...)

Everyone probably has dissected this part a lot lol. Connecting it to the main story, we're never told why Tsukasa lost sight and forgot his true feeling in the first place. This lyrics kinda hinted that he chose to forget about his painful memories and feelings but unknowingly forgetting his cherished ones (specifically his true feeling that created Wonderland Sekai) as well. If I have to guess, it's because of Saki's long hospitalization and Toya's despair over classical music.

おとなたちの鋭利営利な目盛×メモリー悩まされすぎちゃって寄り目になっちゃいそーね！！ (The adults’ sharp, money-making memories make us worry too much!)

This one is... maybe about how reality isn't as sweet as imagination? Tsukasa is someone who firmly has his feet planted on the ground but able to dream big, so maybe it's how his ideal and pragmatism clashed with each other sometimes.

正解も不正解も大切なメモリー (Right and wrong answers are important memories)

This one referred to the previous "erasing memories" line, how "right and wrong answers" = good and bad decisions = good and bad memories were important so thy shouldn't be erased.

まだまだ消さないで！？未来はここからじゃん！！(Don’t erase it yet?! The future is from now!)

Referring to the "successes and failures" in the lyrics in the reff, ie. and how those decisions lead to his current and future self. Fitting, because Tsukasa needed to learn to embrace his past mistakes (and successes) to look at himself now and the future.

まだまだ一緒しよ？の魂胆です 101回目のソンな小指メモリー拝借 “ハッピーも失敗も消さないから！！” (we’re still doing it together, right? That’s my plan. I borrow the 101st pinky memory.“I won’t erase happiness or failures, after all.”)

Interestingly, why is the memory is written as pinky finger in the kanji? I guess it's to show that memory = promise (as in, pinky promise). It's probably to refer how he promised Miku and everyone else that he won't forget his true feelings anymore, no matter how it brought him happiness and failure--because yes, he would face failure down to road.

つまずく日もあるよ (There are days when I fail too.)

成功失敗も「全部」だいすき！でいいじゃん！！(I love all successes and failures! That’s fine, right?)

Second, there's a lot of posturing in the lyrics:

“どうして！？”も“ああして！！”も“ 君らしくないな？(“Why?!” and “Do it like this!!” aren’t like you, huh?)

Being confused isn't like Tsukasa because he's always confident in himself.

みんなみんな笑っちゃえの魂胆で (In this plot to make everyone laugh)

Tsukasa's true feeling to make everyone smile and the ways how he tried to do so, talking about it as a 'plot' --or in other words as something scripted. There's a possibility he 'scripted' the way he behaved to make everyone smile before it finally stuck.

どうにもこうにも救えない困難もいいじゃん！！みんなみんな救っちゃお！のポーズでちょっとやそっとじゃ潰れない笑顔どうじゃん！ 100回オチても不死議は鳥乱さない

(I reckon it’s fine to have troubles you can’t do a thing about! I make a pose like I’m gonna save everyone. How about this smile, it’s not gonna crumble at all! Even if I fall 100 times, I’m like a phoenix. I won’t get upset!)

So If we put Tsukasa's song, we can see this as how he may not know how to solve other's problems, but by showing a confident smile he wanted others to rely on him. And even if he can't do it, he won't let others give up relying on him because he'll try again and again.

Paired with how the song said that both successes and failures are important, it's good that Tsukasa know learned to take failures as another way to success in the future.

みんなみんな一緒しよ！のポーズでちょっとやそっとじゃ崩れない笑顔どうじゃん！(I make a pose like I’m gonna do it together with everyone. How about this smile, it’s not gonna break down at all!)

Another repeat of how his smile won't falter, but this time he 'acts' like he'll do it with everyone. Kinda hinted that at this point in time in the song, while Tsukasa worked with everyone, he wouldn't rely on others and had the mindset to be the most reliable person that others can lean on.

It kinda relates to some line after this about being together with others is another 'plan' or script. So, while he worked with others it was just another way for him to make others smile. There was no hint of him wanting to rely or connect with others personally.

みんなみんなくすぐっちゃえ！のポーズでぜったいぜったいね、消せない笑顔どうじゃん！∞回なんかいオチても不死議は鳥壊せない！(I make a pose like I’m gonna make everyone laugh. How about this smile, it can never ever be rubbed out! No matter how many times I fall, I’m like a phoenix. I won’t get pulled down!)

The last reff was about how he 'acts' to make everyone laugh, and by proudly showing off how his smile will always stay intact, it kinda hinted that maybe his confidence was a front. That his 'poses' won't ever crumble down and show what the real him is really like. Because even if he falls he will always show off a confident 'pose' and smile in his plot to save others and make them smile and laugh.

Tl;dr from these two points my take on Tondemo Wonderz in relation to Tsukasa is:

Tsukasa deliberately forgot his past failures and painful memories but because he did that he accidentally erased his happy memories and true feelings. He erased his own memories because he wanted to act confident so others could rely on his unwavering self. After meeting WxS, he learned that he needed to embrace failures as well to be able to face his current and future self, but it didn't mean that he would give up on his act any time soon. In fact, he thought that his act would only keep getting better because he's learning from his failures. Would he open up to WxS? By that point in the story, no. But Curtain Call hinted that Tsukasa is slowly opening up to his personal worries--starting with Rui.

#ask #project sekai colorful stage #project sekai #proseka #pjsekai #tsukasa tenma #tenma tsukasa #analysis #sorry for the horrible horrible formatting lol #and sorry for the late reply #i really took my time with this im so horrible in conveying my thoughts lol

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lime-bloods · 10 months

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it was inevitable, and now here it is; I saw the movie, took note of its shared thematic heritage with Homestuck, and now I'm making a comparative analysis post involving Across the Spider-Verse. I won't bother covering the nature of canon events themselves, because to be frank that's entry-level comics deconstruction. I want to discuss the specifics of one canon event in particular; the death of Gwen Stacy.

i saw some discussion of Sollux and Spider-Man earlier today the exact details of which are not important, because I came away from the discussion thinking one thing; "but Sollux doesn't really react to Aradia's death the way a Spider-Man might react to Gwen Stacy's death." and the reason for this should be obvious; because Aradia isn't the Gwen Stacy to Sollux' Spider-Man, but rather the other famous dead woman in comics:

Some (probably everyone) may have noticed that many of the trolls are loosely or not so loosely related to various super heroes and villains. Sollux - Cyclops Aradia - Jean Grey (including parallels with her death/resurrection to Phoenix, which augmented her powers)

and because it's impossible to think about the stories of Gwen Stacy and Jean Grey and the canonicity of these stories without deconstructing the function women serve in comics and stories as a whole, this thought reminded me of something else about Sollux, which I've talked about before, but which can be summed up by an extract from Hussie's own commentary:

As a psychic, he's aware of things on a lot of levels, such as future visions of doom and gloom, but he also seems intuitively aware of his place in the narrative as just a marginal cast member in a story containing people much more important than he is. [...] his resigned sense of fatalism is inseparable from his narrative impotence, and the basic truth about him is that he was built to be little more than a serviceable part of a big machine. Just like his ancestor. (Homestuck: Book 4: Act 5 Act 1, p. 96)

knowing that these "future visions of doom and gloom" tie Sollux and Aradia together as twinArmageddons and apocalypseArisen, it seems only natural that we should assume Aradia is in the same boat here. and with that in mind, Porrim's own theory on the Alternian system seems to apply in retrospect; when we think of lowbloods as mere cogs in a machine, we must also be thinking of women as cogs in a machine.

this isn't a theory post so much as as it is a thesis proposal... I've been diving deep into the X-Men as of late but have yet to pluck up the courage to go right back to the beginning and read the Claremont stories that started it all, but if this could be a serious line of inquiry, maybe it's the impetus I need? again, Homestuck and Spiderverse descend from the same long tradition of comics deconstructing comics, and the Watchmen references later in the comic show that Hussie isn't above using the language of his predecessors to do that deconstruction... Claremont is known as an early subversive when it came to the treatment of women in comics, and starting with Aradia it might not be such an absurd assertion to suggest that the so-called "comic book death" phenomenon is one of the parts of comic history that Homestuck attempts to deconstruct (forget not that the primary villain is a monster capable of not just killing, but wiping away the immortal ghost forever, voiding all chances at revival). so with movies like Spiderverse and comics like Hickman's recent X-Men revival putting such a spotlight on death in comic books, maybe now is the right time to shine such a lens on Homestuck?

#homestuck #sollux #aradia #marvel #x men

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cousticks · 7 months

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Yo! I'm Cou, like in Acoustic! That's where the 'cousticks' comes from (mind blown, yet?) I'm a whole 21 years old, and would prefer they/it pronouns.

This account is my dumping ground for fandom posting, including analysis, aus (which you can find a list of here), writing, doodles, and more! You can find some of this writing on AO3, too.

I follow back from the url 'causticacoustic', as this is one sideblog of several. Please do not be alarmed by a purple Master Chief icon following you out of nowhere, or leaving asks, that's me!

Minors are welcome, but I'd prefer only my 18+ friends DM me. 18+ mutuals are welcome to my discord, too! Just send me a DM.

I encourage talking to me. Be it via asks (anon or not!), comments, reblogs, DMs, whatever, I love conversation, I'm just a little incapable of starting it, usually.

More blog info below!

Content

This is mostly a BSD blog. In the future it may also contain other media. Vanitas no Carte is probably going to make an appearance eventually, who knows what'll come after that.

Other media interests I doubt I'll post about here include:

the Halo universe

FLCL (only the og. we don't talk about the reboots.)

Portal games

Dishonored games

bad action movies in general

and more!

I also have other non-media interests, but I won't clog this up with them. You should totally ask me about them though.

I don't post or reblog anything NSFW. This is 90% because I don't want to forget to tag something, 5% because I'm ace and don't really need that here, and 5% because I don't want to make this blog a place minors can't go.

Tagging

Honestly, I'm not great at tagging upsetting content. If you need something specific tagged then leave me a DM or ask (anon or not) or something and I'll try my best to keep a running list of what needs tagged and how (I keep a Google Doc for myself for my tagging system and will happily add your needed tags to it). Chances are, you'd be seeing violence or blood. If you're in the BSD fanbase, I'm kind of making a blanket assumption that you're okay with that when you interact around here. If not? Good luck, I guess.

I give all characters their own individualized tags. I'm working on making them all short song lyrics. Please feel free to ask about any tags you see! Characters that haven't been given lyric tags yet are given the tag 'placeholder [character] tag.' If they're an au-specified character, such as from Beast, its specifically 'beast [Character] tag'. I have a handful of AU and/or concept emoji tags. If I ever see it relevant enough, I'll make a key for them.

Drawings are tagged #doodles. 'Personal' not really content posts are tagged #sticky note. More put-together posts I intend to actually circulate in the world are tagged with the fandom and relevant characters / novels, ex. #bsd dazai, #bsd fifteen, etc. People I interact with frequently might find themselves with their own tags as well! Mutuals, please don't think I suck for not giving you a tag or something pretty pretty please. My brain is very tired so I'm limiting it to those that appear often I promise I'm not slighting you personally on purpose.

Asks

I love getting asks. They can be actual questions on my thoughts, chain mail, insults, little gifts, whatever. I don't care. I love them and will treat them all with care. I have anon enabled and will always have it enabled. I'm also a big fan of ask games and have a ton of them tagged under #ask games. Those are all active all the time forever (though if its an older one you'd have to specify) I just like having things to talk about. Please talk to me.

This is very long and says absolutely nothing. Please direct all questions, comments, or complaints to the ask box.

#sticky note #pinned

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dangerous-advantage · 10 months

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(yagi-no-eda here~)

Totally would circle back /pos. I’m also pretty new to the fandom!

My wife has liked Usagi Yojimbo and associated stuff for years but it’s only this summer that my brain has allowed me to really get into it, and make it past the first 2-3 comics. Not for lack of trying - it was just never the right time in an ADHD way*. Something always would distract me. I’ve inhaled all the comics I can in just the last couple of months and yeah, Stan came at me with a steel chair too. I did not expect …this whole situation. I’ve been a fandom lurker since 1999 and yet suddenly I have blog I use near daily, a sketchbook, and bunch of fic WIPS...

Mainly because I am Unwell over UY.

I have accepted my fate. This is always going to be a Thing now.

Though I did admittedly also inhale TMNT 2003 and Rise.

Travels with Jotaro is one of my favourite volumes, but I’m also weirdly into Bridge of Death rn and just….in general having a moment over Usagi’s time with Mifune. To the point I’m doodling intros for a fake show called The Mifune Years. He had this whole expected future and friends - denied.

* to be fair this is also the summer I found out its def ADHD driving this media analysis machine I call a brain

Hope this was an okay way to get back to you! /lil anxious

Feel free to network (or share thoughts) in my tags anytime, I love hearing what other people think. Also happy to chat anytime. Or feel free to tell me to back off and that's chill too :)

(been waiting to answer this for when i had more time but gave in; should be working on my fic(s) but you know how it is lmao. stay tuned for a very long post, because i love talking about things with people, especially things i like haha

very cool to see another person very passionate about this series! i grew up on 2003 (and the 90's movies-- my parents had the third one on cassette and i remember i wore that fucker out lmao) but it was always more of a "scattered interest" rather than something i was fully pulled into

i started getting into rise (read: The Algorithm came for me) probably mid-July of last year, but didn't fully fall into it until after the movie came out. it renewed my interest in tmnt overall, and i've been here ever since!

i did attempt to watch the usagi chronicles a couple of times, and i remember thinking they were fun but not really my thing. (i definitely want to revisit it, even though i know it won't hold a candle to usagi yojimbo. it does look fun in a silly way, which i can get behind.)

i knew vaguely about how big usagi yojimbo was, and that it was a commitment, but i'm surprised how quickly it sucked me in. i've never been super interested in stuff within the genre, but damn if it doesn't satisfy the autism. entire chapters devoted to infodumping about the edo period of japan? sign me the fuck up!

i especially did not expect how much it would make me feel. like. wow. ouch. usagi is just Some Guy but he is also so well characterized and you really feel for his internal conflict, 10/10.

i've been looking for series with older protagonists, especially those more focused on the familial/platonic aspect rather than romantic (i am just an nd queer on the interweb, can you blame me for yearning for found family?), but hadn't found any i really liked other than the tarot sequence by kd edwards (very good read, would highly recommend.)

also not to be a nerd but ohhhh my god i am so obsessed with the plot with mifune.

like i know the series takes place after that, and after the fallout of that, but just. wow. imagine devoting your entire being to another, to the point where you would readily die for them and their word, and then they die. they die, and you did everything you could to honor them in that death, but they're still gone.

like... that emptiness stays with you. you don't just get over that. maybe it's the "being raised in a cult" but wow, do i empathize with that.

idk if we explore more about the fallout/exact history with mifune/immediately following mifune's death but there is so much writing potential there. if i was not embroiled within turtle hell and 50,000 words deep in a multi-chapter fic already, i would absolutely write something for it.

like. this is adjacent to your interest in the topic, but can you just imagine (/rhetorical /general you.) as far as we know, he spent five days on the battlefield before he made it out to the tangled skein.

(which is one of my favorite additions like good god holy shit. that is so cool and angsty. your lord, days after dying, appears as a fucking ghost and saves you. like, if i were to be silly and funky, i would absolutely headcanon that as the reason that he was able to stand up and continue on. because i mean... what else? what else could motivate you to stand up once more after something like that?)

(well. honor. but mifune is the physical manifestation of honor in the narrative, so same difference? it's like both thematically significant and emotionally significant and-- ok im shutting up now. but i could talk for days, istg.)

but like. how do you reconstruct yourself from that? we see him holding tight to this sense of honor, even after his lord is gone, sent reeling (adrift in the waves) with only his soul and moral compass to hold to.

which makes it hurt so much more when we see these ideals of honor-- this ghost of a man, of a life, still haunting him years after the event-- still woven through the narrative, made to specifically conflict his deepest wants.

i joke about it a lot on my fic discord (i have a whole channel called 'father-material' devoted to just pictures of him hanging out with/taking care of kids), but something that seems very important to him is wanting to be a father figure, and wanting these connections to family and friends.

but that is contrasted against these ideas of honor, the very thing he built and rebuilt his foundation off of after it was torn away from him. and it's just so incredibly painful but also it makes sense, because he can't just give up the side of himself that is a samurai. too much of his person, his characterization, is built off of this.

to see it constantly clash with this want to settle down and finally rest, devote himself to his relationships/family rather than the code of bushido-- the very essence of honor itself-- ourgh ourgh ourgh its so good

(put aside the fact that he once said he could never serve another lord, and we know from the story that the idea of a "lord" can be more than just a person... he never stopped serving mifune, not truly. he still upholds the ideas of honor that mifune stood for/represented. as if his lord never truly left him.)

...i was going to say more, but then i realized this turned into a whole-ass mini-analysis, so i'm forcing myself to stfu. but basically: i have feelings about this series, man (/gender neutral).

anyway. if you ever do put something together, i would love to read/follow it! if i ever wrote something, it would probably be exploring the direct fallout of losing mifune, so hey, different niches but similar (:

also: never be anxious about talking to me ever in any way possible. i will probably be even more annoying than you in tags/asks/everything under the sun, and i do genuinely love talking to people who share my interests (typically about those interests.) i like to pretend i am an internet Cool Guy, however, it is a flimsy veneer to hide all the cringefail swaglessness and unending mental illness about my blorbos

(...i am so tempted to just invite you to my og turtle discord server so i can annoy you about usagi on the regular. also about what my reimagining of yuichi would be, because i have so, so many ideas.

i will refrain, but if you would be interested, it has been kinda dead as of late, so it would be nice to enrich the ecosystem a little by slowly collecting other usagi-interested individuals and slowly taking it over, one by one (/j /lh).)

anyway, same thing goes for me with my posts/asks/reblogs/messages/whatever. i am so very earnest, so if that puts you off, that's very chill and fine. however, as long as you're down to vibe, i am similarly down to vibe >:D

i once more apologize for this monstrosity of a reply. i would say it won't happen again, but my reading comprehension apparently does not extend to the "all things in moderation" maxim. instead i choose maximalism (to the max)

(sorry for that joke. yeah that will also happen again. sorry. /lh /pos)

#confessionals #i love my moots #many-wings #@many-wings #usagi yojimbo #uy #miyamoto usagi #long post #tw long post #thank you for the ask!!#i could talk about this stuff forever haha #also congrats on the realization/diagnosis!!#(:#i hope this was all coherent #(i am a bit mentally unwell about this series if you somehow couldn't tell /lh)#you do not know how much i have wanted to scream about this to someone. you *do not know.* /pos #i love all my moots but they are not aware of how much space uy takes up in my brain constantly all the time #usagi yojimbo analysis #miyamoto usagi analysis #(feel like i should tag it as that haha)#i know i know i know i should be working on 'it was futile' but this has inspired me to do that quick uy analysis post i was thinking about #so look out for that (usagi be upon ye)#oh hey that's a good uy tag. mine now #usagi be upon ye #also you reminded me i wanted to make an uy sideblog. i never make side blogs but very few of my moots are into uy as well #so i might as well contain it elsewhere /lh #the name i wanted is gone but it's fine i can work with it

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