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delta-queerdrant · 3 months

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how do you solve a problem like Chakotay? (Tattoo, s2 e9)

I have been away from this space for a number of boring reasons (including, to be transparent, cheating on Janeway with my space cop boyfriend Odo. Why do the good girls go for the lawful neutral boys?)

But also, Tattoo! Yikes on bikes! When I first realized I’d be reviewing this episode, I felt a powerful impulse to back away slowly, as if from wasps. My aversion came from a place of contempt for this episode, probably the low point of the imaginative failure that is Chakotay. At the same time, I was not sure what to do with my anger. It’s easy for white people to become a little too enamored with our own hot takes; I am ill-equipped to speak to the impact of a narrative that’s racist, anti-Indigenous storytelling all the way down.

I imagined I’d compile a reading list by Indigenous writers who could talk with authority about “Tattoo.” The reading list has become a comfortable rhetorical move for white cultural critics, a stay in our lane impulse. A reading list attempts to re-center marginalized voices, though it’s rarely a call to action (unless that action is read books). In this case, the reading list was elusive. I couldn’t find much non-paywalled content discussing this episode at length, with the exception of this illuminating review by comics artist Rob Schmidt.

What does it mean to do low stakes cultural criticism on Tumblr dot com? If this is a quiet space for playful self-reflection about my Television Feelings, then I think we can agree that nobody particularly needs my thoughts on the impact of “Tattoo,” or the Kazon, or any of the other ill-conceived ways that Star Trek has handled race. I will continue to get mad about these artistic choices, but my anger is not load-bearing. You can’t build anything with it.

The best I can probably do here, and throughout these reviews, is to excavate the contours of my own relationship with science fiction. I think white people have quite a lot we need to say about whiteness, and our penchant for racist science fiction, and how we could perhaps redirect our creative impulses elsewhere.

To summarize the episode - Chakotay visits a Delta Quadrant moon and recognizes a symbol that reminds him of a childhood visit to his people’s ancestral home on Earth. As a young man, nonconformist Chakotay wasn’t much interested in his ancestors’ traditional lifeways, and even now, he’s agnostic about some of their religious beliefs. Nearby, a planet has flora and fauna similar to the Earth rainforest Chakotay remembers visiting. When he’s separated from the away team, he encounters aliens who can “control the elements of nature” and seem to share his tribe’s culture.

In a block of decidedly clunky exposition, we learn that these aliens visited hunter-gatherers on Earth millennia ago. The early humans are described as having “no spoken language, no culture, except the use of fire and stone weapons.” Okay then! The aliens gave them “an inheritance, a genetic bonding so they might thrive and protect your world.” The genes motivated the hunter gatherers to travel to the Americas, where they passed down memories of the aliens, who became key figures in Chakotay’s people’s religion. Chakotay now understands himself, his father, and the aliens as people called to “honor the land” and defend it.

(Meanwhile, the Doctor programs himself to experience a respiratory illness and proceeds to have what I believe is known in the vernacular as a “man-flu.” It’s very silly.)

If “Tattoo” was well received, I think it was because of the emotional heft of this episode, which figures Chakotay as the diaspora kid who rediscovers his roots and connects with his father’s memory. I would have liked an episode that fully explored what it means to be Indigenous and diasporic, and how Chakotay’s identity informed his decision to join the Maquis.

This is not really the episode we got. Instead “Tattoo,” in the vein of white supremacist conspiracy theory tome Chariot of the Gods, imagines that Indigenous people are magical space boys whose religion and culture are gifts from aliens. Now, Captain Planet-like, they have been tasked to protect their homelands, conveniently letting the rest of us off the hook.

“Tattoo” erases the truth and specificity of Indigenous cultures and origins—of people who were and are energized by their own intelligence and agency, and who have actively maintained specific and rooted ways of being in the world despite 500 years of material and cultural genocide. It doesn’t help that the prehistory depicted in the episode is utterly confused. The ancestors described in this episode are apparently early humans, long before the migration into the Americas, but the timeline is so muddled that the episode resolves into a narrative of “Indigenous people require alien intervention in order to have a culture.”

I think “Tattoo” is really a white fantasy, because white people would like nothing better than to be magical racialized space boys. To be chosen, to be connected at once to a homeland and a cosmic other, satisfies a hunger born of our collective imaginations. White people don’t really care who built our sacred sites, if our culture heroes are exploded in favor of New Age nonsense, because our legitimacy as people with a history and a destiny is nevertheless secure. (Though there are probably limits to our popular embrace of the New Age - I can’t imagine a Star Trek where Jesus is the one receiving genetic messages from aliens.)

To complicate my analysis, I'll note that a white Jewish author wrote the teleplay for “Tattoo,” and in the episode’s Wikipedia page, Robert Beltran says “Tattoo” resonated with his experience of feeling disconnected from his Latino heritage. There is a story about diaspora here, however clumsily executed. As a person of Jewish ancestry, I’m not surprised that creators from diaspora communities turn to speculative fiction to recreate lost pasts for marginalized characters. It’s easy to lose your history, and this loss is compounded in a world where whiteness swallows difference.

Star Trek has always had a race problem. In my twenties, I began to learn about the antecedents of the science fiction and fantasy genres - adventure fiction and Westerns, genres steeped in ideologies of Rule Britannia and manifest destiny. If Star Trek was originally pitched as “Wagon Train to the Stars,” then perhaps the aliens have always been “Indians.” But Star Trek also has a progressive streak that has lent itself to diverse casting. What does it mean when the same universe contains allegories for minorities and real-world minorities?

I have to admit I'm a sucker for a good science fiction allegory. As a kid from a mixed-faith background, I loved watching Worf negotiate his Klingon ancestry and human upbringing. (I only realized as an adult that the Rozhenkos are Jewish coded!) I'm not saying that Worf is great or perfect representation of multicultural identity, but there is something about allegory that can powerfully voice our lived experiences. (The trans allegory in the recent Nimona film adaptation is an exceptional example of this.)

As best as I can tell, the trick to writing fictional "races" and real racialized characters is one and the same - handling the cultures you're depicting with care, eschewing biased stereotypes in favor of nuanced, complex, informed worldbuilding. The showrunners of Voyager did not exercise care.

I want a Star Trek in which the characters feel rooted in real cultures, whether they’re alien or human. I want Harry Kim to have a cultural identity, and I want Chakotay to belong to a real-world Indigenous community. If science fiction is about curiosity, then I want white writers and showrunners who are genuinely curious about the stories they don’t have the expertise to tell—and who are willing to give space to those who do.

1/5 prize Vulcan orchids.

#star trek #star trek voyager #chakotay #space racism

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melodyofthevoid · 10 months

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Seeing Mariza slowly lose her sense of self, as Delta becomes all the more worried, is really painful; And it reaches a climax when Mariza completes her transformation and forgets Delta. It's this tragic tale of loved ones drifting apart, one of them gradually forgetting, as the other tries her best to reach out, to re-instill that sense of familiarity only to be confronted with the unrecognizable. It's all so bittersweet and painfully uncertain, a story about loss that might not be mitigated...

But you know what? At least we get to meet Larus, who seems like he's just vibing while Mariza and Delta are going through some of their worst relationship issues. Thanks Larus; It's wild knowing the downward slope of Ship in a Bottle is followed shortly by his introduction into the story, but it feels like much-needed levity. And now I gotta wonder how Larus feels about Delta and her attempts to reach out to his newly-ascended 'sibling'... Does he see this as some echo of the past preventing Mariza from entering a new phase of her life, or is Larus really chill and even willing to help?

Aw, thank you for this lovely comment!

For sure, the relationship between Mariza and Delta is certainly a tragic one, because sometimes the tragedy is unavoidable. Things were set in motion and two people who would've been really happy together otherwise. And yet they keep fighting for each other, and find happiness in spite of all they've lost.

And hmm... haven't considered that yet! I think that Larus' dynamic with Mariza and Delta is something between a wingman (hah) and an observer. He's perceptive enough to know that Mariza's missing something. Her ascension was messy to say the least, and she's figuring out her place in the pantheon on top of a raging case of amnesia. He likes her, and once Delta stumbles into the picture, he's like "well this is interesting." I think he's more curious than anything else and wants to see what happens. Instigating, more than really ever "helping".

He's looking out for her in his own way

#melody rambles

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wildjuniperjones · 1 year

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Writeblr Re-Introduction: NaNo Edition

Wild Juniper Jones

Writeblr & Writeblr Encourager

This NaNo season, I'll be focusing on the main WIP that has consumed my brain for the past year - now titled Bonds of Trust.

My Works

I write primarily fantasy, with dips into historical fiction, alternate history, sci-fi, romance, and erotica. Themes include friendship, solidarity, trust, healing from trauma, and explorations of identity.

Bonds of Trust (formerly Starcrossed) - modern fantasy, romance, erotica

When a succubus grad student/dominatrix meets a hurokin martial arts instructor/former MMA star, an unlikely friendship forms. Can they overcome their past traumas and learn to trust one another? And what happens when their past comes back to haunt them?

Features: non-binary, intersex character, PoC main characters, positive depictions of sex work and kinks, two POV

Warnings: explicit sex scenes, alcohol use/abuse, historical dissonance

Amongst the Goblins & the Fishes - steampunk fantasy, adventure

A soldier returns from war, forever changed, forever wounded, forever burdened with the secrets best left on the battlefield. Can he evade his government's agents to get the information to the Azure Knight? And more importantly, can he heal from his wounds, both inside and out?

Features: transmasculine, disabled MC

Warnings: violence, PTSD, trauma

The Silver Hand - fantasy, alternate history, mystery, adventure

A group of monster hunters only known as The Silver Hand scour the forests of Scandinavia in search of prey. But when one among them is killed, what had been a safe haven now feels like a prison. Can they discover the killer before it's too late? [Very tentative plot]

Features: diverse cast

Warnings: violence, trauma, PTSD

Anarchy Ink - historical fiction, mystery

When a poor, shrewish printer is courted by an uptown gentleman, she can't believe her luck - until their first date ends abruptly upon discovery of a murdered reporter. Now they're under investigation, and escape seems like the only sensible option. But where in Chicago can they find safe harbor? And can they find the killer before he strikes again?

Features: platonic relationship, disabled character, anarchists, communists, ACAB

Warnings: violence, trauma, PTSD, alcohol use/abuse, corruption

The Delta - sci-fi, mystery

A generation ship has journeyed for more than a hundred years in search of a new earth to call home. Now they think they've found the right place, but the rule they hold sacrosanct comes into question - they cannot colonize a planet occupied by sentient creatures. Does this new world hold promise? Or ruin?

Features: non-binary MC, queer & poly relationships, experimental social structures

Warnings: angst, mostly

Another Lost Cause: The Life & Times of William Clark - alternate history, mystery, solarpunk

Larger than life. A legend. William Clark was a genius entrepreneur turned philanthropist, turned statesman, rising to the presidency faster than any before him. He revolutionized the energy sector, communications, manufacturing, all with an eye towards creating his utopia. But as his biographer discovers, the man may not have been all he seemed, and something darker was at play...

Features: non-binary PoC MC, queer & poly relationships, solarpunk vibes

Warnings: historical dissonance (may cause a feeling of loss for a world that never existed, retelling of most of 20th - 21st century history)

Writeblr-Specific Info

I am open to and excited for any and all ask/tag games! You can always tag me or ask me anything, especially if you're needing encouragement this NaNo season (and anytime). I try to keep politics off this blog, and keep it to @juniperjones-else. Occasionally I'll slip up, but I do try to tag everything (usually with #capitalism bad), so filter if you need to.

Witchblr-Specific Info

I originally made this blog for witchblr reasons, so you might see that kind of content crop up now and then, but my main focus is writing. I'm interested in astrology, tarot, sigils, and chaos magic. I consider myself to be a hedgewitch, incorporating neo-shamanism (yes I know, but I don't have a better word for it), herbalism, and cosmic witchcraft (paying attention to the astrological makeup of times and dates with regard to workings). I'm not terribly active, but it's still very important to me, and it shows up in my writing with some regularity. I primarily work with genius loci, or location spirits, on land stolen from the Cowlitz tribe and the Confederated Tribes of Siletz Indians & Grand Ronde.

A Note on Appropriation

I'm white. I'm so white I'm see-through. The only claim I can make to an ethnicity is Lithuanian.

I acknowledge my privilege to be able to have the leisure to post and write freely, even if I am disabled. Not everyone has that luxury. I write about cultures and people who are not my own, experiences that are not my own, and though I do my research, I am bound to get something wrong. It is not anyone's job to correct me or educate me, but I certainly appreciate it when folks do so, because the last thing I want to do is hurt anyone with my words. I am doing what work I can to uplift POC authors, and would welcome anyone who wants a signal boost to tag me, DM me, or send me an ask. I realize that it's the bare minimum I can do, but it's what I can do without seeming overly performative. I know I can do better, but I can't do so without knowing what I'm doing wrong in the first place.

Thank you for your patience, your grace, and your time.

#pinned bios #writeblr intro #witchblr intro #writeblr #witchblr

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madara-fate · 2 years

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Hi again. I already got people saying I'm a fake Sakura stan but I promise I'm not, I'm giving the reasons why the writing for Sakura sucks.

I don't know, it's caused me to dislike her writing because she's not involved when she can. She could be working with Katasuke and Amado but she's not. It's so frustrating to go month by month and absolutely no news, others doing the prosthetic arms, the recovering... but not her.

The the plot being carried by them, it's not from Delta and on, Ino is introduced as leader of the Barrier Team as early as chapter 28 and the anime already had her interrogating (which Sasuke does too) as early as episode 72, right after the re-animation of the Boruto movie. They even got her interrogating Katasuke (which doesn't happen in the manga) which happens in chapter 13. She's been heavily involved since the beginning, after the Team 7 and Kawaki spotlight.

As of useless, the Medical Department is nowhere to be seen, the manga doesn't acknowledge her as the head of that department and when she heals is just Sasuke. Her writing doesn't go beyond that. But it's just exactly the plot, nobody takes novels seriously, nobody reads them, they only watch the anime and read the manga in which Sakura are gone, no involvement. The work Sakura might have done in the past is ignored and never mentioned, the only thing that matters is the manga, the current involvement and all.

No, Pain's arc doesn't work here because Sakura's role was very well executed, she was healing people, but there's nothing about healing multiple villagers or fighting an enemy, so the current Code and Daimon plot doesn't work here.

By Ino having more power than Sakura I don't mean it in battle strength, I mean it in controlling the village. Naruto gave Ino the control of the village's borders, she can change locks and passwords, she works closer to the Hokage and Shikamaru than Sakura, she coordinates the evacuations and alerts the Military Police... next to her, Sakura is nothing, her status as jonin means nothing, her status as head of the Medical Department means nothing, and all that surely means nothing for the plot right now.

Being a Hokage candidate when Ino controls the Barrier Team, interrogates people and coordinates the Military Police is so much more than Sakura's role right now. Ino is second to Shikamaru according to the plot, the writer is making her so important that's why.

Healing isn't necessary right now, there have been battles with Kawaki, Boruto, Naruto, Sasuke and even Shikamaru involved and no healing has ever happened since chapter 44, no healing corps stationed anywhere. They're not necessary. I don't even know why you mentioned the Mental Health Clinic since nobody needs is (not even Kawaki) and it's also inside the hospital so I don't know. The hospital is needed but all you will see Sakura do is heal (probably Sasuke) and nothing more, no plot relevance, no information about the situation, just like a bot in the village.

So yeah, I am a Sakura fan but I'm listing the reasons why the writing her made her very bad in my opinion, how it has made others more important and how haters take advantage of it.

Exactly, that was a reason for you to dislike her writing, but you said that you've grown to dislike the character herself, which doesn't make any sense, because Sakura herself hasn't actually done anything which caused your opinion of her to lessen.

Yeah Ino is introduced as the leader of the Barrier team, so what? Sakura was introduced as being a member of the hierarchy and important enough to be present at the 5 Kage Summit since Gaiden, so I fail to see your point here. Also, Ino most definitely has not been heavily involved since the beginning, that just isn't true, so please stop exaggerating her importance to the plot.

How is the Medical department nowhere to be seen? Seriously, I don't get these claims. The manga doesn't need to explicitly say that Sakura is the head of that department because everyone, everyone knows it to be true. That, and the anime (which more people follow than the manga) has clarified that on numerous occasions:

So again, you have no point here, since you've also made references to the anime. Furthermore, can you please stop saying this nonsense about how Sakura only ever heals Sasuke? Off the top of my head, She was shown to heal Sarada and Hinata:

And you really don't want me to show you the plethora of people she was shown healing in the anime. So for goodness sake drop it.

they only watch the anime and read the manga in which Sakura are gone, no involvement. The work Sakura might have done in the past is ignored and never mentioned, the only thing that matters is the manga, the current involvement and all.

Sakura hasn't been gone from the anime nor has she had no involvement, so I'd ask again that you stop spouting these untrue statements. The work she's done in the past hasn't been ignored, otherwise she obviously wouldn't have the prestige that she currently possesses. Just because you choose to ignore everything else and only choose to focus on what's currently happening, doesn't mean everyone else does the same.

What do you mean the current plot doesn't work here? This is honestly so ridiculous. Do you think that just because Kara has infiltrated the village, it means that people have suddenly stopped being sick? That people have suddenly stopped being injured? That the hospitals are suddenly free of all patients? Do you really think that Sakura is literally doing nothing at this moment, just because she's not being shown on panel? Goodness gracious man.

I seriously cannot believe you cannot see the sheer ridiculousness of what you just typed. So keeping thousands of people from losing their lives on a weekly basis, is nothing to you?

Yeah I don't want to continue wasting my time on this, and frankly, I can very much see why people have questioned the legitimacy of your claim to be a Sakura fan, when you've constantly dismissed her value and importance to the village, simply because she's not currently involved in dealing with the current threat. The amount of times you repeated "right now" in this ask, is proof enough of that.

Here's something you need to remember since you once again claimed that healing apparently isn't necessary, and used the fact that no one needed healing for the current threat - Just because no one involved in handling the current threat needed to be healed, doesn't mean everyone in the village has suddenly healed from their sicknesses and injuries. Sakura is still there, keeping people alive. Just because those dealing with the cyborgs didn't need healing, doesn't mean healing in general becomes unnecessary. You place all this significance on what is currently happening that your points seriously just lose all reasoning and logic. You even had one final petty dig at Sakura by saying...

all you will see Sakura do is heal (probably Sasuke) and nothing more

And you're wondering why people call bullshit when you say you're a Sakura fan... Okay then. Well, I already explicitly proved how wrong that statement is by showing that Sakura heals far more people than Sasuke, and now I will no longer be entertaining this discussion, because as I said earlier, you've lost credibility with me. Good day.

#Sakura Haruno

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theold-ultraviolence · 1 year

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hi bestie!!

sorry for staying away so long - I was finishing up my semester and then my sibling had a little bit of a crisis so they came home for a couple days but I think all is mostly settled now!

I come to do my best to save you from the 7hr class from hell!!

first, I'm so sad that the tags were being stupid bc your grandsire!Aemond post was sooooooo flipping good! I'm not really someone who has much of an interest in having kids, but to echo a sentiment you've expressed in the past: for Aemond, I might consider it 😜

so, I know you've said in the past that you're not that into folk-y type music - which is totally valid - but I did listen to a couple songs that are on the more upbeat side of folk/rock/pop (?? kinda??? idk what genre is anymore lmao) that really reminded me of Aemond that I thought I would share. They're both by Delta Rae, and the first is called "Is There Anyone Out There" and the second is "Surrounded." Absolutely no pressure at all to listen - I was just going back through that album last night and the Aemond brainrot kicked in and prevented me from being normal about anything 😅

also, idk if you've addressed this before (if you have and I just missed it I'm so sorry! 😭) but do you think Aemond is insecure about his appearance because of his scar? He clearly takes a lot of pride in maintaining his clean-cut appearance and also seems very proud of his Targaryen silver hair, but do you think some of that comes from trying to make up for the fact that he feels like his scar has rendered him totally unattractive? (I mean, obviously not to us lmao, but like, if he perceives it that way). I'm just super curious to hear your thoughts on this bc I'm always ready to be even more sad about my poor little meow meow war criminals

I also have some long rambly thoughts on Targaryen inbreeding and face shape/facial features, but it may be too long and annoying so I won't put them here (also this ask has become a novel as always lol)

anyway, wishing you the best of luck with your class!!

yours in aemond brainrot,

🐍 🔪

Hello dear!! no worries at all about staying away, I totally understand that lives get complicated! I do hope that everything has settled for you, and that you're able to find time to rest! omg bless you for coming up to the rescue because this class, I'm telling you, UGHH!

aaaaaaah I know I'm so sad too! I tried tweaking it as much as I could and it did not show! but I'm super happy you got to see it and that you enjoyed it. Hard same, I'm very firm about not wanting kids in real life, but idk what's been happening to me lately that I'm LOVING writing about them. I think it's giving me all the kind of fluff I need in my life right now because things are hard, but it makes it more enjoyable that people here like all of my children rambles! Also grandsire!Aemond is really hot to think about honestly talk about a GILF

Delta Rae...it does ring a bell! I think I have listened to a couple of songs from them in the past but I'm really shit at remembering, but yeah they do ring a bell! thank you so much for the rec, I'll definitely be checking them out! I'm always looking forward for blorbo music (lol) and these days, as you are, my brain is super focused in finding songs for Aemond!

Re: his appearance (I hope I make sense lol) Absolutely he's insecure! but I feel like it's a very complex thing. I think initially, right after his accident, and through the majority of his teenage years he must've been incredibly insecure, paranoid about people whispering about him, calling him slurs and so on. And the people of the time must have done precisely that, feeding his insecurities. Which is why he starts taking such care of him, letting his hair grow because of his pride in his Targaryen heritage. His hair must be the feature he's most proud of because of what it represents, so he must accentuate it by keeping it with such care, keeping it long, etc. He also starts training rigurously, not only the training of his body but his mind, cause if he's lacking in the physical, he must compensate with intellect. I do think after all of the work he puts in, he is confident in himself. Otherwise he wouldn't be cocky and have this air of superiority about him. He knows his worth now, knows that he's way more than his missing eye and scar. If people still whisper about him, I think he'd be more inclined to scoff at them, rather than let it affect him. He knows he can have anyone that wrongs him obliterated now, because of his skill in the blade and he's got Vaghar now. All of that boosts his confidence. But of course he must have his off days where that little boy inside of him comes back and he looks at his reflection and he's thrown back to his worst days. Inside there's still that resentful kid, otherwise he wouldn't be chasing off after Lucerys and continue to taunt him about taking his eye to pay for his. Anyway, hope I made sense!! I'm always hesitant about giving my take on Aemond because I'm no expert in Asoiaf!

And also feel free to drop your rambly thoughts, I enjoy them a lot!!

Thank you for all your good wishes, my darling!! hope your week has been a good one, and that you have an excellent start of your weekend!

love this sign off so I'm hitting you back with it.

Yours in Aemond Brainrot, x

#🐍 🔪#aemond rambles

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akwardlyuncool · 3 months

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Class Favorites: Movie Ranks! (Part 2)

Welcome back for part 2 of Akward Class Favorites: Movie Rank!

If you missed Part 1, click HERE.

_____________________________________________________________

21) The Good Guy (2009)

Beth wants to find love in the big city and once she thinks she's found just that, other things including "just friends" decide to show up as well.

Now I don't want to spoil anything, but if you've been around for a while you know how we feel about "the good guy," so just sayin. Now my takeaway is that it wasn't that bad. I still gave it 3 stars and Bryan Greenberg always plays some of my favorite slightly average white guys, with slight knowledge about random things. That being said, the movie does try (for just a moment) to romanticize Lolita (yes that book) and that's not okay! So it was alright, has a little mess, but not one I'm running out of my way to recommend.

22) Odd Man Rush (2022)

A kid who dreamed of playing professional hockey grows up to get signed to the B or is it C team in odd places around the world and this time it's Sweden, but at least there's a girl to talk to in the midst of all the cold weather.

This movie also wasn't that bad, but the whole time all I could think of was knock off Patrick Fugit and when it's not giving all it can, that thought doesn't help it's chances. I like sports movies, but in the world of re-watches, it's most likely going to be on because I've seen it at least once. With my 3 stars I probably rated it higher than the folks who this movie was forced upon, so note that it's because I don't hate everything like most people seem to lol.

23) Sorority Wars (2009)

Katie always planned to follow in her mother's footsteps and become a Delta just like mother, right alongside her best friend. Things take a turn though and nothing is like it's supposed to be.

This movie screams 2009 Lifetime movie, without a teen pregnancy. It has "cat fights" with superficial mean girls and then suddenly realizing you're above the bs and fakeness. If this is your thing, eat it up and if not you saved yourself an hour and a half of pettiness and not the supper good kind.

24) The Prince & Me 2: The Royal Wedding (2006)

Paige and Edvard are set to get married in a few weeks, but some old fuddy-duddy law comes out of the woodwork in attempts to stop the marriage from taking place.

Julie Stiles is one of my favorite actresses and if I ever met her the one question I would ask (obviously if I actually met her, I'd find a way better question lol) is why doesn't she play in any of the sequels to her hit movies lol? This has always bugged me and this particular movie is the prime example as to why that is.

What I love about Paige's character in the original Prince & Me felt lost this go around and their attempts at recreating her personality fell flat. The chemistry also wasn't there between Kam Heskin and Luke Mably (Paige and Edvard) and for a romance, that's more than half the battle. The spark just didn't exist the same way at all and that's dissapointing. The other thing that made it drop, was that it ended up being a little too hijinks-y for my me. I know that's how all of these princess sequels seem to go, but I wasn't super into it this time. If those two things had been better I would have enjoyed it way more.

All that being said, I will eventually watch the 2 following sequels that I ended up not watching this year and know that anyone who consumes these movies, like me will also watch the whole franchise too. (We're the same type of people who have seen all 7 Bring It On movies, as well as all 6 Cinderella Story films.)

25) Wedding Daze (2006)

Anderson is heartbroken over the loss of the woman he intended to marry, so after a year of moping and some encouragement from his best friend he decides to propose to the waitress in the diner that they're eating at.

Now I liked this movie for all the reasons I tend to like any movie from this era of romantic comedies, however I also didn't like it for all the reasons this era doesn't always land on me if I didn't see it in it's "prime." Again it's the hijinks and the tacky humor that bring it down. I don't hate those things, but they don't always hold up a movie the way we would like them to. It's cute and does a lot of the quirky romantic comedy things we smile over, but that's just not enough here. Bonus, it does feature Inches and Falling by The Format, so major points for that.

PS: I'm also not in the business of recommending J*son B*ggs to anyone right now, so there's that.

26) Double Mommy (2016)

*TW: Sexual Assault. Ryan and Jess broke up right before summer started. Jess is still in love with Ryan, which she states to his best friend Bryce, all summer long while they hang out to pass the time. When Ryan returns home he realizes he made a mistake and wants Jess back. They immediately fall back into old habits. Upon rekindling their love however, Jess realizes that she's pregnant with twins and Ryan isn't the only father.

This was during my Lifetime teen pregnancy binge. (I just needed stuff that wasn't gonna give me too much anxiety. And what is sleep.) The title was also hella messy, so I'm like let's go! I yelled at the screen so much while watching this one cause there's simply no other way to consume these films. You saw the title, you saw my description, of course that's how I watched this ish.

I'd been watching these movies all year, but this is where I really started to rack up the numbers of "Lifetime" trash. They're hot messes of quick, so they can pump them out faster and you can down them on whatever free streaming service you choose. I only recommend these movies to those who already eat this stuff up like it's candy and bad movie nights.

27) The Cheating Pact (2013)

Rich kids have more money than time and would rather pay someone to take take their college entrance exams than to risk the disappointment from their parents, who if they pass would pull their donor strings to get them into the good college anyway.

I thought I was getting a bad Perfect Score remake and to be fair it was bad (remember these are all rated on a curve) but when they decided to add the whole true crime element to the mix and not the money laundering/embezzlement kind, it became not as "fun" for me. I was engaged, but this was just too petty, cliché and started to involve crimes that wouldn't get them slaps on the wrists, so by the end I wasn't so into it.

28) Just Peck (2009)

*TW: Talks of suicidal ideation. Michael Peck (Keir Gilchrist) isn't one of the cool sophomores and his parents are a little overbearing with the psychology and therapy parenting style, which sometimes makes things worse. Even his friends consider themselves losers. When senior Emily Donaldson (Brie Larson) decides to let him and his friend ride in her car for a lunch smoke break, suddenly Peck thinks he's made a new friend.

This is filled with all the dark, edgy humor of our teen years and sadly that's what didn't win me over with this one. If you end up watching it, you'll notice how one of the big events of the film shines light to the overarching problems of the movie as a whole. It tried to laugh away the serious issues going on with these teens, in a way that very few actually laughed at for the right reasons. It will be for some, just not for me.

29) Remember The Daze (2007)

Last day of school in 1999 the kids decide a party and cruising is how they'll live it up.

This was a terrible rip-off of my beloved Dazed and Confused. Like they literally bit the title. It had none of the essence, none of the cool and I hated all the characters, except this one kid who went around taking pictures all day. Even the antagonists aren't done well, they're just ass-hats. This movie in it's recreation tried to spotlight the problematic behavior of D&C, without making any real statements of its own and in my opinion, actually making themselves look worse.

Like one example is that they tried to re-do Matthew McConaughey's character Wooderson, you know the guy who's still hanging out with the high school crowd, and made him 10 times more uncomfortable. Not excusing Wooderson's behavior at all, but he was someone you actually kinda wanted to hang out with because you thought he was cool, his replacement however gave all of the ick to where you might need a shower after being around him for longer than 2 minutes because he actually touched you. I'm sorry they just failed miserably at the "replacements."

One of the other things that failed this movie was the fact that it gave not one 90's vibe whatsoever. It was 2007 with maybe a 90's Nokia phone. No grunge, no soundtrack, no "like totally buggin" anything! I believed none of it's attempt at being a period piece. Just overall sad really.

Basically when you rip off a classic or classics, cause I saw many others pointed out how it also took bits from Can't Hardly Wait and American Graffiti too, at least try hard to live up to that legacy. 2 and a half stars for something that could have been decent had I not seen any teen movie made prior to the release of this one.

30) Magic Mike: Last Dace (2023)

Mike thinks he's taking one last gig before he goes back into retirement, but the London socialite decides his talents are more useful than a one night stand.

Meh, this was just way passed it's prime. It feels like when you're trying to relieve the glory days, so you become a coach. I don't know, it just didn't make me desire to have a half-naked man grind on me and although that's never truly been a desire of mine, the other films did better at the attempt. Now don't get it twisted, he's still Channing Tatum and he still has the ability to make me swoon, even during this whatever, it just wasn't what I was after. All that being said, go watch it. This is the type of movie you put on for the fun of it, not because it's gonna be great.

31) Hello Sister, Goodbye Life (2006)

College student Olivia Martin (Lacy Chabert) is being asked to take care of her 7 year old half sister, after her father and step-mother's untimely death. She must now decide if she wants to be a parent or enjoy her youth.

The movie probably deserved at least 3 stars (I gave it 2 and a half) because it wasn't that bad, but I wasn't moved and probably felt a little bored by it if I'm being completely honest. Predictable ending that could have used way more compromise than it gave. Again I watched a lot of "trash" this year cause they were fun, and although this wasn't exactly trash, it could be easily forgotten and thus why some of the actual "trash" beat it out lol.

32) Maine (2018)

Two strangers meet while hiking on the Appalachian Trail. Once their paths cross during a outdoor bathroom break, they become rather involved with one another.

This is the third Thomas Mann film on this list and although one of the more aesthetically pleasing watches, it ranked the lowest cause I couldn't figure out what it was actually trying to say. I gave it 2 and a half stars for the ending, cause it wasn't good, but I think that just means I didn't like the ending and it brought what could have been a 3 down. The movie is chill and vibe-y with some overcast and if that's your thing take the chance, just find the right place to stop and I think you'll be good.

33) Fallen (2006)

The day Aaron Corbett (Paul Wesley) turned 18, he found out that he wasn't just a teenage boy on the way to adulthood, but a Nephilim (human/angel) and now has to fight for a bigger cause than grades.

This was part of a 3 part mini-movie series back in the day on ABC Family and although I thought I'd watched it back then, I added it to this list cause I couldn't recall really anything that was happening and let it live like I had never seen it before. It wasn't good and probably felt a little overdone. I thought I might go and watch all 3 parts, but after sitting through the first one and all of it's "grand" fight scenes/family protecting, I knew I wasn't invested enough. I also thought I was getting the 2016 movie under the same name, so that probably had a negative effect on things as well. (I haven't seen the 2016 Fallen either, it's just what I thought I was going to be watching that day.)

I recommend this to the ABC Family nostalgia folks and Paul Wesley fans. That being said Bryan Cranston is in the other 2 parts, so maybe it might be worth testing the rest of the series out, just to see lol.

34) What Goes Up (2009)

*TW: Talks about subjects of suicide and inappropriate relationships between adults and minors. The misfits find one teacher they can trust and when that teacher dies and a new figure appears in his wake, will they too trust him in that same fashion? Campbell Babbit (Steve Coogan) is put on a newspaper assignment, to get off of writing about the woman he obsessively writes about at current. They want to get him onto more world news. like the Challenger Space Shuttle launch. He ends up slipping into the life of an old college buddy that has passed away, thinking he can figure out the students his friend left behind and maybe tell someone else’s story for a change.

This is the only movie that got a full review on the blog this year, so I won't rehash everything, however I will say that I totally get why it's this far down on the list. The ick just sat with me for most of the watch and upon it's conclusion I wasn't confident that things were cleared up, so I'm not sure I want anyone else to sit through that either. It's a dark film, with that misfit teen edginess that draws some people in and if you wanted to take a peak, on you, but not one I don't wave the red flag for.

35) Guilty At 17 (2014)

What happens when you believe your friend when they tell you they were assaulted by your teacher, but you're not 100% sure they were telling you the truth? Guilt is a strong feeling.

The movie doesn't go full mask off into the whole "women lie" territory, however it does act as the what-if, devils advocate, to that belief. It rides the line of that narrative too close for me to be like "yeah lets go!." You're upset and irritated for most of the movie and the story it was trying to tell wasn't even done well. The guilt that looms the whole time was the "heart beating underneath the floorboards" and at a certain point you're over waiting for the big reveal. This one I watched because Chloe Rose from Degrassi and Erin Sanders from Zoey 101 were in it. I'm pulled by anything with Degrassi Alumni. If you like movies that play unnecessary devil's advocates, go for it, but this is not one I'll be quick to recommend to the toxic masses.

36) Double Daddy (2015)

*TW: Sexual Assault. Cameron's life is turned upside down when he finds out his girlfriend and the new girl at school are both pregnant, supposedly by him.

Just like Double Mommy, this movie is UNHINGED! They both have similar plots, but this one adds more of that "ticket to the good life" aspect that so many people love. Although unhinged keeps you engaged for sure, there was a lot of off personality moments that you get tired of real quick. Remember the curve and all that ish, not everything that's bad is good and not all of them will make it to the coveted 3 stars.

Double Daddy and Double Mommy are ones that I absolutely would recommend... for bad movie night. Like this is a true LET'S GO! for the category. And you have to subject yourself to both, because of course you do.

37) Beautiful Disaster (2023)

*Based on a book of the same name by Jamie McGuire. Let's avoid the "bad-guy" that's totally not good for us, but find a way to sleep in his apartment and maybe even his bed every night. You know, until your "bad-girl" past starts to be the real issue.

Y'all know how much I don't like New-Adult books and the movie adaptations are just as egregiously bad. No I did not read this book (or at least I don't think I did, but if I had it would have been a million years ago and my memory of the books I would have finished in a day isn't great) however if you've read a couple, you've read plenty.

I'm tired of bad boys who aren't bad boys and love stories that revolve around 18/19/20 year old girls/women who find themselves engrossed in men/boys, but in a completely toxic ways. It's one thing if it's about new experiences and growth and young love, riding the high of something, but it's a whole other deal when you take that and have allowed yourself to barely even breathe before you say how high you're gonna jump with this person. I didn't get to watch an After movie this year, so this is the After stand-in. I will say that it's not as toxic as After, but the rushing to be all in, was just as present here as it was there.

Now side note, I'm not saying that Dylan Sprouse is unattractive or a bad actor, but once again I don't believe his performance as these particular characters, in these particular movies that he's playing. I don't know, maybe the stories just don't sell any of this to me and I just want to say "nope" to it all.

All of that being said, yes I will watch the sequel coming out in 2024 because even when it's bad, like 2 stars bad, that toxicity keeps me coming back for more. You know, just to see. Disclaimer though: I can tell that these things aren't good and I don't want relationships like them, which is why I can separate myself when I watch them, but if you can't do that and you're idolizing these characters, you need to touch a little grass and find better influences. Just sayin.

38) Stalked At 17 (2012)

CW: Teenager has relationship with a guy who's already graduated. You're young and in love, so a pregnancy should strengthen that love, but sometimes love doesn't conquer all and sometimes it gets violent and won't let you go.

I'll say that this movie wasn't great, but you already predicted that, so I'll say that you spend most of the time irritated, cause no we should not trust guys who can't find girls their own age to put up with their bs and who carry their violent flags on their sleeves with them. To be fair said she's only 17, so her not seeing all the RED makes sense. It also ended up here because the ending was trash and brought the rest of the movie down with it. Not worth it, unless you want to see a guy named Chad live up to the worst version of what the Chad stereotype can be and then get even more mad when the ending screws you over lol.

39) Locked Away (2010)

You're pregnant and although your boyfriend is supportive, because your mom is not, you still look for other maternal figures to get advice from. You better choose wisely though, cause not everyone is innocent.

I promise that this is the last Lifetime Teen pregnancy movie on this list lol, but I can see how 5 or so of them out of 41 is a lot. I mainly pulled this one out because it has Jake Thomas of Lizzie McGuire in it and you know how nostalgic cast members can pull me with a quickness. Despite the casting pull, this one was far too unrealistic true-crime for me and I can only take so much murder being added into spaces it does not need to be. Like these writers must sit there and go "let's sprinkle in a murder just for the funzies of it." There was also a lot of random trust given too, that suspended my belief systems while watching and I was not in line. Basically give me less murderous true crime and mindless trust and you might score higher.

40) American Satan (2017)

A bi-continental band from the U.S and UK named the Relentless decide to forgo college for LA and ultimately Rock & Roll. To get to their dreams however, they might have to sell their souls to the devil.

Oh man was this one bad. I started it a while back, like years ago but never finished it, cause it didn't sit right with me and now having seen the whole thing I get why. I've seen other "sell your soul to the devil" movies, the 1986 Crossroads is a great example, but American Satan does not tell that story well. This movie doesn't even make a statement or tell me something real and honestly I don't even know if I was supposed to enjoy it. I do consider this one to be actual trash.

I didn't know this until I got to the spin-off TV show Paradise City, which I also watched because of Cameron Boyce, but Ash Avildsen of Sumerian Records wrote and directed this mess. If you're part of the alt scene, I'm sure you would have heard that Ash is kinda trash himself, especially because of what he said about Covid and booster shots on the record label's social media page, not even his personal page. Again I didn't put two and two together before watching, but after seeing how he's personally behaved, it gives this film extra red flags.

Now this movie doesn't speak to vaccines or anything like that, it came pre-vid, however one of its major flags is it taking the allegations that get talked about in the real world scene, pertaining to adult band members and potential minor fans, and using that not once but twice as large plot points. Sure we're talking Sex, Drugs & Rock and Roll, but it's a really bad look, to on multiple occasions use something many are actively trying to fight against in the scene and to me reducing that to " fame-drama" that "just happens" and something that can be skated by. So writing that multiple times, unnecessarily, definitely gives me the whole trash can. (Or maybe Ash just doesn't know how to tell a good "groupie" story? If that's even what he's trying to convey?)

Beyond that seriousness, one of my personal grievances was the fact that Andy Biersack (of Black Veil Brides) who actually has a very decent singing voice was dubbed and ended up sounding worse. How you gon take one of the biggest artists from your record label and do them so dirty like that? Also, and this is a hella hella side note, I think Andy is SO attractive, but his spicy scenes between the movie and the show were so unsexy that they were a little painful to watch lol.

Basically it was so bad that I wouldn't even recommend it to fans of the bands they got to act in the movie. Hope these guys get more work in the future, cause I would hate for this to be their acting legacy.

41) Last Day Of Summer (2009)

Joe (DJ Qualls) has been picked on his whole life and even as an adult his manager and coworkers are still laying the torment on pretty thick. One day Joe decides he's gonna do something about it and was almost brave enough, but ends up kidnapping an innocent woman instead.

This is one of, if not the most incel movie I've ever seen. Not to spoil anything, but one of the major plots of this movie is literally based on a look he thought this woman gave him. That's why all of the other ish takes place; a damn look! I have a list of the actual worst movies I've ever seen, movies that you don't show at bad movie night and in 2023 I added the second film, this one. I'm a DJ Qualls fan and he plays the nerdy, awkward kid that gets picked on, very well, but I'm sad and a little embarrassed, even for the characters that he plays, that this movie is apart of his filmography. Don't do it, not worth whatever idea you think you're going to get yourself into.

#AKWARD CLASS FAVORITES #Class Favorites 2023 #Movies #American Satan #Lifetime Movies #Beautiful Disaster #Remember The Daze #DJ Qualls #Lacy Chabert #Movie Reviews

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concerthopperblog · 6 months

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Review Roundup: Colin Cutler and Angra

This week, we've got two albums on offer and they couldn't be more different. One is a genre-hopping roots album of songs inspired by one of America's greatest authors. The other is the first album in five years from a Brazilian progressive metal stalwart.

Colin Cutler- Tarwater It takes a lot of guts to base an album on a literary titan like Southern Gothic trailblazer Flannery O'Connor. To do so invites comparison and there aren't many people who can win there. But Colin Cutler manages to avoid either comparison or fawning emulation on his new album Tarwater. Some of that comes down to Cutler's song choices. Half the album is a full-band re-visit of the songs from his EP Peacock Feathers while the other is made up of newly written material.

Musically, Cutler's songs bounce from honky tonk to blues to Southern rock, and some tracks that blend multiple genres. Album standout “A New Tattoo” has a driving rockabilly beat with some .38 Special-worthy guitar solos thrown in. “Save Your Life and Drive” is another muscular rocker, this time driven by some excellent blues harmonica and by Cutler's fast patter vocal delivery on the verses. Lead single “Bad Man's Easy” serves up a little Southern gothic vibe of his own. “Mama, Don't Know Where Heaven Is” kicks off with a Delta guitar riff before settling into a rambling country tune.

I'm a sucker for a good literary adapt so I've had high hopes for this album since he ran a Kickstarter campaign for it earlier in the year. However, my optimism was cautious because of the project's ambition. I shouldn't have worried. Cutler has pulled off a feat in honoring O'Connor's legacy successfully while recording an album that can also be enjoyed as a stand-alone entity.

Angra- Cycles of Pain It's been five years since Brazilian progsters Angra released an album and that's far too long. Since their formation in 1991 and through multiple lineup changes, the band has remained one of the more consistently excellent acts in progressive metal. For Cycles of Pain, they themed their album around, unsurprisingly, pain, both personal and collective. Since their last album in 2018, founding guitarist Rafael Bittencourt's father passed away as did former vocalist Andre Matos. Then there was that whole pandemic thing in 2020 that certainly brought its own share of pain.

To convey different aspects of pain, you need an appropriately versatile voice and Angra certainly has that in ex-Rhapsody of Fire vocalist Fabio Lione. While he's been with the band since 2013 and this is his third album with them, this is definitely him hitting his stride. He's operatic on “Ride Into the Storm,” he's a belter on “Gods of the World,” and he's melodic on album highlight “Tears of Blood,” a duet with vocalist Amanda Somerville.

Musically, it's Angra doing what Angra does best. Neo-classical progressive metal that never loses its melodic soul along the way. Cycles of Pain isn't anything groundbreaking from Angra, but it doesn't need to be. They're great at what they do and what they do is enough to make this a must-buy album for any prog fan.

#album review #Colin Cutler #Angra #Americana #Progressive Metal #Concerthopper #review #2023

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poem-today · 2 years

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A poem by Patricia Smith

Shoulda Been Jimi Savannah

My mother scraped the name Patricia Ann from the ruins of her discarded Delta, thinking it would offer me shield and shelter, that leering men would skulk away at the slap of it. Her hands on the hips of Alabama, she went for flat and functional, then siphoned each syllable of drama, repeatedly crushing it with her broad, practical tongue until it sounded like an instruction to God, not a name. She wanted a child of pressed head and knocking knees, a trip-up in the doubledutch swing, a starched pinafore and peppermint-in-the-sour-pickle kinda child, stiff-laced and unshakably fixed on salvation. Her Patricia Ann would never idly throat the Lord’s name or wear one of those thin, sparkled skirts that flirted with her knees. She'd be a nurse or a third-grade teacher or a postal drone, jobs requiring alarm-clock discipline and sensible shoes. My four downbeats were music enough for a vapid life of butcher-shop sawdust and fatback as cuisine, for Raid spritzed into the writhing pockets of a Murphy bed. No crinkled consonants or muted hiss would summon me.

My daddy detested borders. One look at my mother's watery belly, and he insisted, as much as he could insist with her, on the name Jimi Savannah, seeking to bless me with the blues-bathed moniker of a ball breaker, the name of a grown gal in a snug red sheath and unlaced All-Stars. He wanted to shoot muscle through whatever I was called, arm each syllable with tiny weaponry so no one would mistake me for anything other than a tricky whisperer with a switchblade in my shoe. I was bound to be all legs, a bladed debutante hooked on Lucky Strikes and sugar. When I sent up prayers, God's boy would giggle and consider.

Daddy didn't want me to be anybody's surefire factory, nobody's callback or seized rhythm, so he conjured a name so odd and hot even a boy could claim it. And yes, he was prepared for the look my mother gave him when he first mouthed his choice, the look that said, That's it, you done lost your goddamned mind. She did that thing she does where she grows two full inches with righteous, and he decided to just whisper Love you, Jimi Savannah whenever we were alone, re- and rechristening me the seed of Otis, conjuring his own religion and naming it me.

Patricia Smith

#patricia smith #american poetry #jimi savannah

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kyndaris · 2 years

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Breaking the Law

There are three things that are inevitable. Death, taxes and the fact that Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio will forever re-use assets in every single game. I doubt there will ever be a time that the main protagonists will never not visit Kamurocho. After all, if the formula isn’t broken, why fix it? Admittedly, the city remains, as ever, dazzling and bright and filled with life. The other places that have featured in the franchise have also proven unique distractions for the enterprising detective or ex-Yakuza.

Released in September 2021, I found myself at a crossroads. There were a thousand releases and even though I had pre-ordered Lost Judgment, Sydney was in a Delta-strain lockdown. After much hewing and hawing, I finally purchased my copy digitally. Even nabbing the complete edition that would net me the Kaito Files downloadable content (DLC).

Knowing that the DLC wouldn’t be available until March 2022, I kept Lost Judgment in my backlog. After all, by then I’d have an extensive guide from CyricZ to lean on for anything that I might need. Baseball placements being a bit too hard? Check his guide. Unsure where to find all the squirrels? Check his guide.

March 2022 came and went before I finally managed to eke out some time between releases to dive back into the world of the Yakuza and Judgment series, and step into the shoes of Takayuki Yagami: lawyer and detective extraordinaire. Honestly, this is what Phoenix Wright hopes he could be.

Lost Judgment begins with the discovery of a body in Ijincho (a place I was intimately familiar with having explored it with Ichiban during Yakuza 7: Like a Dragon). It isn’t long that players learn that the body belongs to a Hiro Mikoshiba: student teacher at Seiryo High School and possible bully to subway pervert Akihiro Ehara’s son.

Though the question of who did the deed is never much in doubt, like with many of the games Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio is known for, there’s a hidden conspiracy lurking behind the surface. By digging deeper into how Ehara might have committed the crime, Takayuki uncovers a plot from Public Security to blackmail the Vice Minister of Health into gambling away the pension funds of the public. Honestly, the way the narrative leaps from one plot point to another is astounding. Even when the story beats might not have always landed perfectly, especially tonally, I was still in awe at how RGG managed to weave a story themed around bullying and how it can affect victims.

After my playthrough of Lost Judgment, there was definitely a lot to unpack. Especially the dynamic between Yagami and Kuwana. And while Kuwana’s quest to kill bullies that had driven others to suicide was understandable. Especially for parents seeking closure after their child has taken their own life. I might not have liked how he forced his old students to abet in murder, but I could also understand it. After all, they went unpunished for pushing Mitsuru Kusumoto to the brink. Had it not been for them, perhaps he wouldn’t have jumped from the roof of the school.

And yet, it’s a hard pill to swallow when these people now have their own lives and families to take care of. True, they might not be the most upstanding of citizens but they also don’t deserve to have the entirety of their lives ruined from a past action when they have since moved on and grown from that encounter.

Still, given the nature of Japanese society, perhaps this was the only way. In many East Asian cultures, discussions around bullying is almost taboo. People are praised for quietly enduring. And that’s not okay. Worse, bullying also feels more extreme than cases in countries such as the United States and Australia.

Yes, children do get bullied in schools in the Western world. Heck, people also get bullied in the workplace. But the instances of bullying never seem to extend to the extent that has been reported in Japan. Forcing someone to eat their own faeces? How does someone get away with that?

There is much to love about the plot in Lost Judgment. Despite that, I definitely enjoyed the story of the first game a lot more. Perhaps because it was a lot more personal to all the characters involved. The personal stakes in Judgment just seemed so much higher. Yagami was tortured by what had happened.

In Lost Judgment, Yagami had already found himself. There was a surety to how he conducted his investigations and he wasn’t as overwhelmed by the trauma of the past.

Lost Judgment also improves a lot from the previous title and peppers in the main plot with a lot of side activities. Although some might have derided the addition of the School Stories, I felt that they added to the collective narrative around Seiryo High. Plus, I got to play a dancing minigame. And who doesn’t love a dancing minigame? Don’t forget the boxing and robot battles and the motorcycle racing and skateboarding and everything else in-between.

The only thing that I felt was lacking in Lost Judgment was that, once again, there was no karaoke for Yagami. LET HIM SING, YOU COWARDS!

Combat, too, also saw some improvements along with the addition of snake style. Yagami was fast and quick on his feet. While some of the quick-time events during boss battles weren’t explained as coherently as I would have liked, they were still mostly fun rather than frustrating.

As for the Kaito Files DLC, I loved the fact that it managed to pack in such a plot-heavy narrative within just a few short hours. While there’s much to love about the Yakuza and Judgment games, there’s also plenty of needless filler where there are cutscenes that repeat information that was already learned through various other forms of gameplay.

Yes, characters need to talk and they need to remain in-character as they deliver exposition to other characters but there was something charming about Kaito reuniting with the woman he was in love with more than a decade ago. Oh and the conspiracy by her late husband to kill his old friends in order to maintain his pristine reputation. I have truly never seen anyone as slimy as Kyoya Sadamoto.

In any case, Mikiko and Jun better not disappear to America in the next Judgment instalment. I want to see them interact with Yagami! Especially after one of the main characters has actually found love.

As for the combat in the DLC, Kaito’s fighting style definitely brought back memories of fighting as Kiryu. His tank style was reminiscent of beast. Hurling around mopeds and motorcycles will never not be amusing.

Lost Judgment was definitely a game that had a lot to do. It might not have been crammed with as much side activities as Yakuza 5, but it still managed to provide me with fun distractions that I found enjoyable to invest my time in. Whether that was leading the Seiryo Rabbits to victory or talking to kids to stop them from their delinquent ways.

I suppose my one gripe would be the romance options. Stop trying to tease us with a Mafuyu and Yagami ship (actually, I’m still angry that Mafuyu appeared so little in this title), and trying to feed us with other romance options that don’t seem to care that Yagami has three other girlfriends. And why are they also so young? The only one that seemed age appropriate was the school nurse: Kyoko Hakase.

On a side note, loved the Solid Snake reference. Cardboard boxes all the time, every time.

#mikiko x kaito #lost judgment #judgment #RGG #video games #yakuza #kamurocho #ijincho

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deltaengineering · 3 years

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Apparently Tumblr killed my custom theme, but I got a laugh out of it.

#re: delta does not like anything

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pi-creates · 3 years

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I hope people don’t mind – but I have a theory… one that’s been mulling around in my head for ages but didn’t really know if people would be interested in hearing it. I shared my thoughts with a few people and they seemed supportive of me sharing my theory further, so here we go.

Basically, I feel like something that the fandom deems as crucial to Violet’s character might actually be a misclassification. The short version of this post is that I theorise that Violet doesn’t have excessive abandonment issues (at least not to a significantly greater extent than any of the other characters), and what she is actually displaying is signs of survivor’s guilt.

From a behavioural view point, there’s a lot of overlap between both issues – withdrawing from others, fixating on other’s and their actions, being irrational at times as a defence mechanism, and applying unrealistic expectation on oneself and others. But the difference is the reasons behind those behaviours.

Someone with abandonment issues assumes that everyone will inevitably leave them. It leaves them insecure and assuming that they are somehow at fault for other’s leaving them. The thing is, this form of dependence on others tends to lead people to constantly be seeking approval, and they reel their neck in when they feel like someone is not going to agree with them. Basically, they become people pleasers who need constant reassurance that you aren’t planning on leaving them – but at the same time they keep things shallow, because they don’t feel like they can expose anything that the other person might leave them for. Then if things are on the rocks, they sabotage, if you push someone away before they reject you, then it doesn’t hurt as bad if they decide to leave. It’s a self-destructive cycle that centres around the person being anxious and not having trust in others to accept them as they are.

And while parts of that fits Violet, other parts don’t. I don’t feel like Violet comes across as insecure in what she offers to others or being afraid to have a contrary opinion. In fact, she seems quite confident in her skills and choices. There isn’t any hesitance to bring up tough questions or to speak her mind when she doesn’t like something. She takes on a leadership role and makes decisions that she knows the bulk of the group don’t agree with at that point. It doesn’t come across as someone who is afraid that those people she’s disagreeing with will leave her. Basically, I don’t feel like she acts out of fear that people will leave her – she does express not liking that people leave and believes that certain levels of loss are inevitable, but it feels like cynicism rather than fear.

A big example of this is her asking Clementine in the first card game “Out of all of us here, which one is going to die first?”… to me, that doesn’t read as someone afraid of loss, it reads as someone who views loss casually and also doesn’t feel compelled to sugar-coat the morbidity of such thoughts to a newcomer or old friends.

But if you look at something like survivor’s guilt – it has some similar behavioural patterns, but those behaviours stem more from guilt than fear. They survived a situation when others did not, and I don’t think there’s any denying that everyone who’s still alive in an apocalypse situation has outlived a friend/family member, and potentially also been there when they died. And those thoughts of “Why did I survive when they didn’t?”, “Could that have been different?”, and “Was it my fault?” eats away at them. They start picking apart every detail of an event and questioning if they were responsible, or if someone could have done something to prevent it.

It doesn’t matter if it’s logical or not, they fixate on the idea that they could somehow have changed the events if only they said/did something different, they should have known the outcome and stopped it. It’s irrational, it’s placing the blame on oneself or others for situations that they had no means to avoid or predict. And all of that guilt and stress makes the people irritable, withdrawn, and regretful. They get so stuck in that moment of loss that they don’t move forward. They lose interests they used to have, they feel disconnected, they don’t trust people or the world to be safe or fair, they pull away from others...

And I think this sounds like Violet. It makes more sense with how she talks about her grandmother and the twins – we hear how she processes these events. She tells us what she was doing when someone died (or she believed they died) and how she should have been doing something else – for her grandmother she should have called for help, for the twins she should have been there and not in the greenhouse. And since we hear more about the twins, she goes further and talks about how she also questions the actions made by others – she feels like she could have changed the outcome if she was there instead of Brody or Marlon. When in reality, she couldn’t have known, she can’t change what happened, and it wasn’t her fault that those people died (or were taken).

I feel Violet did lose herself to a degree in those fixations, that’s why she withdraws and seems apathetic about things until after we learn that Minnie is still alive. Some of that guilt is somewhat absolved when it becomes clear that Minnie isn’t dead, it opens up the possibility of fixing her perceived ‘wrongs’ of the past (e.g., out surviving her). She talks about not liking arts and crafts – but she makes you a pin. She suddenly wants to dance with you when we had no indication this was an interest of hers before. She sings a song that she clearly used to hold to high regard when Minnie sang it – though we never hear her sing or hear her talk about her own voice. She’s a different person once the guilty moment is re-framed as something she can fix. Those interests she lost before are suddenly back, or maybe she’s just more open to reevaluate things and move forward with new interests.

And I think this also explains part of Violet’s ire in the captured route – it’s not just that she feels like you chose someone over her, it’s a literal replay of the thing she felt guilty about for years. She’s in Minnie’s shoes, but this time the people at the school know she was taken and not killed at the school – they could have stopped it in the way she wished she could have done with the twins. Then Clem shows up, and she isn’t exhibiting the same crushing guilt that Violet carried for so long when this happened to her friends – and that has to hurt.

Not only does the situation suck, but she’s being confronted with someone who isn’t coping with the “loss” of an important friend in the same way she did. I feel like it would only be logical for Violet to wonder why, and she is also clearly not in a good frame of mind and will come up with some of the worst possible answers.

Is she not as important to the others as Minnie was to her? Is she not worth the same emotional devastation? Was she wrong to feel the way she felt, or is Clem wrong for not feeling that way now?

The situation may be different, but after dealing with the traumatic experience of being captured, seeing Minnie again, and being manipulated into behaving – I don’t think Violet can think clearly enough to realise the differences of the situation. Clem isn’t dealing with the same level of guilt because her method of coping with the tragedy is immediate action… an option that Violet never had. It has nothing to do with Violet not being worth the same devastation as the twins, though I bet it still feels that way to her. So not only does the perceived betrayal sting worse, she also is being told she has the option of protecting Minnie by going along with the Delta – it just feeds into her preexisting guilt that she didn’t save her before, so of course she’s going to act in a way that she believes will make up for it.

And yeah… that’s my theory. Whether you agree or not, I’d be interested in hearing other’s thoughts on this – especially when I’m very aware that the abandonment narrative is seen as near universal amongst the fans. It just happens to not have been my initial stance, and I dunno, maybe an alternate point of view will be interesting to you guys.

#twdg #twdg talk #twdg theory #twdg violet #this is a long one #and i apologise for that

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autisticblueteam · 7 years

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this all came up like, maybe a month or so ago now but that north post is making me think again and really, the trend of the women characters in rvb being continuously forced to face consequences for their actions, even actions that they have already faced the consequences for or are categorically unaware of, whilst characters like north and york get off almost scot-free and wash gets to settle without his misdoings constantly being rubbed in his face?

it’s rlly fucking tiring

#see: south getting shot in the goddamn face for doing no different than wash did and then being SPOKE BADLY ABOUT AFTER HER DEATH #the entire narrative after south's death is biased and throughout PFL they spend ages punishing her and trying to justify her later death #and what delta said about her and her actions #meanwhile north? painted as completely in the right at all goddamn times. all the time. no one fucking ever calls him out #and then we have carolina who's treatment can be compared to both york and wash #carolina is continuously forced to re-confront PFL and the things she did wrong. the entirety of season 10 painted her in a negative light #the narrative framing of her was a mess #meanwhile york was again painted as being in the right at all goddamn times! 'of COURSE carolina should have listened to him!'#cries the narrative. 'he's right! he may not have told her anything she needs to know but he's right!'#and then we get to wash. wash who really doesn't ever get confronted about donut by anyone but himself. wash who really by 15 is pretty like #settled with himself. narratively. like season 15 wash is a wash who's gone through a lot of healing and he's reached a certain point #because he's been allowed to #meanwhile carolina has her actions in PFL. actions done under manipulation and that are relatively small scale #compared to motherfucking GENOCIDE #BY THE MAN WHO COMMITTED GENOCIDE #HE DOES THIS TO HER FACE #not to mention she was being punished by temple for something SHE PROBABLY DIDN'T REMEMBER #LIKE COME ON #blue's salt hour #FURTHERMORE: EVERYTHING THAT DEMONISES CONNIE FOR WHAT SHE DID #i'm looking at u fanguide and ur misrepresenting of her #goddammit she did the right thing and yet there she is #fridged and never really given credit

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agustdakasuga · 4 years

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A Place Called Home | Chapter 18

Genre: Hybrid!AU, Poly!AU?, Soulmate AU, romance, fluff, humour

Pairing: OT7 x Reader

Characters: vet!reader, Arcticfox!Seokjin, Panther!Yoongi, Goldenretriever!Hoseok, Wolf!Namjoon, Calicocat!Jimin, Tiger!Taehyung, Rabbit!Jungkook

Summary: Having saved your own injured hybrid, you were determined to try and help any other hybrid that crossed your path who needed saving. But being a vet in a small hospital wasn’t enough for you. You wanted to do more, you wanted to make a difference. You wanted to give them a home.

Jungkook has a nightmare and then, he overhears some troubling news about your situation. He tells the others and the plan is to run away but can Jungkook really find it in his heart to go with them?

Chapter warning(s): Angry cursing, Jimin has an anxiety attack, Jungkook is guilty, mentions of violence. Please read at your own discretion

“Just tell me where your hybrids are, Doctor Echo.”

“I don’t have any!”

“(y/n)!” Jungkook gasped as he sat up. He panted, hand clutching onto his chest, feeling his heart pound. Cold sweat covered his forehead as he struggled to catch his breath.

“Jungkook? Is everything okay?” Taehyung stirred awake. Jungkook ignored him and walked out of the room. Looking at the clock, he realised that it was only 4 in the morning. He cursed and went downstairs to the kitchen to get a cup of water. As he sat by the kitchen counter, he thought about his nightmare.

Why would he dream about you? You were fighting someone but it was obvious you stood no chance against them.

“Don’t hurt her.” He whimpered. The man restrained you and dragged you out of the house. Jungkook could only watch helplessly.

“Now, we’ll just wait for your hybrids to come get you.” The man smirked.

Jungkook shook his head, gulping down the remaining cold water. It was still cold outside but the ice water woke him up. The dull ache in his heart was still there from the night he heard you gave them up.

“What did you say?” He heard whispering from outside.

It was Kilo. Softly, Jungkook crept to the front door, using his rabbit ears to listen. They were always better than his human ones.

“Wait, slow down, Delta.” Kilo seemed to be panicking as well. Jungkook frowned slightly. He was starting to get impatient waiting for Kilo to spit out whatever he was worried about. But no doubt, Jungkook knew it had something to do with you.

“She was taken?... They came and grabbed her? But our lead was that they would only strike next week!” Kilo paced up and down.

“Did she send a distress signal?... Her phone must have dropped when she tried to fight them. I can’t tell the hybrids this, they’ll definitely try and track her down.” Kilo sighed.

“I know... They’re keeping her captive just to bait the hybrids into showing up. I’ll keep them here. You go find her.” Kilo hung up.

Jungkook immediately pulled away from the door, hearing Kilo come back in. He ran upstairs and dove under the covers, making sure not to make a sound in case Kilo suspects that someone was eavesdropping. Jungkook was conflicted. Should he just pretend that he didn’t hear anything or tell one of the older hybrids?

You were in danger and he knew these humans wouldn’t track you down in time. As he stared at his purple dog tag necklace, he thought about you.

“Breakfast.” Kilo announced. Jimin and Taehyung got up from bed, heading down to one of the shared bathrooms to wash up. Jungkook sat up when he was alone.

“Jungkook, breakfast?” Jimin poked his head into the room. Jungkook looked at him. He didn’t reply but just brush pass the calico cat.

"Kilo, we need to talk. Alone.” Jungkook saw Yoongi grab their agent caretaker and bring him out the front door. Jungkook just stared at the front door where they disappeared. Was Kilo going to tell Yoongi what happened? He sat on the couch, subtly looking up as he waited for the door to open.

Everyone else was secretly observing Jungkook. Something about him was weird. He wasn’t displaying his obvious anger like he usually does.

“Well, I don’t know if you’ve heard this often but you’re so damn useless, Kilo.” Yoongi cursed as he re entered the house, slamming the door closed. He turned to see Jungkook’s stare on him.

“What?” He sneered at Jungkook. The others waited for Jungkook to fight back but he just bit his lip.

“Nothing.” He shook his head.

“Whatever.” Yoongi rolled his eyes and proceeded to head to the kitchen. The others couldn’t even hide their shock. What happened with Jungkook? Just yesterday, he was ready to rip Namjoon’s head off in a fight. Today, he was quiet, kept his head down and was docile.

Jungkook didn’t know what to do. If he told them, would they even believe him after the way he has been acting since they arrived here? He didn’t know. But he knew that even if he was angry with you, you deserved to be rescued.

Just not by him.

“W-Wait!” Jungkook blurted.

“What?” Yoongi asked again. For the first time in a while, Jungkook felt so small as the other 6 hybrids stared at him. He gulped.

“Spit it out.” Namjoon scoffed.

“I-I heard Kilo on the phone last night with agent Delta.” Jungkook confessed. Yoongi stopped. He wondered if Jungkook possibly knew the reason why Kilo was acting weird when he asked about you earlier. Yoongi looked towards the front door, grabbing Jungkook’s forearm and pulling him deeper into the kitchen.

“What did you hear?”

“It’s about your owner.” Jungkook said. Right, Jungkook had also started to deny being your adopted hybrid. He didn’t acknowledge you as his owner anymore.

“Kilo was saying something to another agent, I think it was Delta. (y/n) was kidnapped from her home the other night and he was saying something about a lead, that they were supposed to strike next week, not now. They found her distress signal at the house. They think she was kidnapped as bait to lure you guys out to rescue her.” Jungkook breathed.

“F*ck.” Yoongi banged his fist on the counter.

“(y/n)...” Taehyung whimpered. He and Jimin put their arms around each other as comfort. Jungkook just looked away.

“We’re leaving.” Namjoon declared.

“Namjoon is right. We can’t wait for these people to rescue her. We have to do it ourselves. If it’s a fight they want, it’s a fight they’ll get. Touch our mate and you cross the line.” Jin frowned.

“Let’s talk later.” Yoongi grabbed his mug of coffee and left the kitchen. If Kilo suddenly saw them talking together, it would be too suspicious.

CLANG!

You were jolted awake when you heard loud metal sounds. Blinking, you adjusted your vision to the slightly dim, cold and wet basement area. Wincing, you felt your bruised jaw from where the man punched you. You pushed yourself to stand up but felt a weight on your ankle.

You looked down at the thick metal chain around your ankle. Just what have you landed yourself in?

There were noises coming from the other cages beside you. You guessed that they were all fighting hybrids that belonged to the ring as well, all kept as prisoners just like you.

“Look who’s finally awake.” A voice said. You turned your head to see a man you didn’t recognise, standing there.

“Boss will be happy to hear that you’re awake.” He smiled at you and left.

“Boss Im.” You came face to face with the boss again. You weren’t going to speak to anyone.

“You were asleep for 3 days.” Boss Im raised his eyebrows. You glared at him, crossing your arms. Boss Im just laughed and nodded over to you. You took a step back as the henchmen came into your cell with you. Soon, you felt punches and kicks rain down on you. As you curled into a ball, you covered your face with your hands.

“Tell me where your precious hybrids are.” Boss Im spoke over the grunts and winces of pain you were releasing.

You didn’t fight back or give in. You wanted to stall their attention for as long as possible so they won’t go out and conduct a manhunt to find your boys, and if you could gather some information or evidence about the ring, it would help.

“I... don’t have... hybrids.” You forced out.

“Why are you being stubborn? Look where you are, look at the situation you’re in. Do you really want this to continue?” Boss Im chuckled.

“This is... nothing!” You coughed out blood.

“Tsk! I don’t know why you’re fighting so hard to protect these animals. You’re a fool, you know that? Do you think this will protect them? They’re animals, they belong to fighting rings. You cannot save all hybrids, Doctor Echo. This is the way life is. Humans will always be above those mutts. Just hand them over and you’ll be a free woman.” Boss Im said.

“I’d rather you kill me.” Yo cursed at him, grunting as someone landed a kick to your ribs.

“Killing you is too easy. Until you’re ready to talk, you better get comfortable, I can tell you’re going to be here for a while.” Boss Im called his men back.

“Get ready, it’ll only get worse than this.” One of the men smirked at you before following his boss out. You groaned as you uncurled yourself. Laying on the cement floor, you coughed and stared at the ceiling.

Your chest hurt as you inhaled and exhaled. You touched your ribs, feeling for any broken ones. Thankfully, you didn’t feel any breaks. They were probably just bruised.

“E-Excuse me?” A voice broke your thoughts. Tiredly, you just turned your head to see a small, skinny girl standing by the door of your cell. You just faced the other way, not really bothered by her presence. She slowly entered your cell and placed something on the ground.

“Here’s your lunch.” She whispered and scurried away. You got up and slowly approached the tray of food that was placed on the ground.

You grabbed the plastic spoon and dug into a soupy rice with some kimchi on top. It was bland with no seasoning or flavour at all but you still ate it after not having food in your stomach for 3 days.

“Ugh.” You dropped the spoon onto the tray. When you were done, you laid on the old mattress.

“As long as the boys are safe.” You touched Yoongi’s scars on your shoulder. Those scars seemed to be the only reminiscent thing of the boys you had on your body now.

You hoped that the organisation got your signal and was working to find you. But at the same time, you hoped the boys didn’t hear about your kidnapping or else they would set out to try and track you down. All these worries and the beating from earlier cause your head to pound and slowly, you drifted off again.

The boys were all gathered in the bedroom that the older hybrids shared. They locked the door, hoping Kilo wouldn’t notice them secretly meeting.

“We’re leaving, tonight.” Namjoon said.

“Those that don’t want to go, you can stay here. I really don’t care. My priority is to find my mate and get her out.” Yoongi crossed his arms. He loved his brothers, really, but he wasn’t going to get into a fight with them by forcing them to go save you. That wasn’t the point of holding this discussion. He looked over at the obviously conflicted rabbit.

“What’s the plan, hyung?” Taehyung asked.

“Tonight, we’ll escape out the back. Around 1 am. We run into the forest and head back home. Maybe we can find some clues there.” Namjoon explained and everyone nodded.

“You don’t have to decide now. If you’re not out by 1 am, that’s your reply.” Yoongi said dismissively.

“Are we really going to see (y/n) again, Tae?” Jimin tugged on the tiger’s sleeve when they left the elders’ room. Taehyung nodded, finally crackling into a small smile.

“I’m going to take a nap. Come on, Chim.” Taehyung pulled Jimin with him to the maknaes’ room. Jimin watched his best friend fall asleep quickly, knowing that all of them haven’t been sleeping well and Taehyung constantly woke up in the middle of the night.

Jimin reached up to touch his uneven ear. He shivered as he remembered how his old master punished him by clipping the end of his ear and laughing at him.

Hearing that a fighting ring kidnapped you, he was afraid of what they would do to you. Fighting rings aren’t for humans, they’re for hybrids. He has never seen a human in the ring before.

“Chim... Breathe...” Taehyung said sleepily, grasping Jimin’s wrist.

“H-Huh? W-What?” Jimin didn’t even realise that he wasn’t breathing properly. Taehyung’s eyes still remained closed as he tried to pull the calico out of his anxiety attack.

“Breathe... You’re okay.” Taehyung assured.

“I’ve got you.” Taehyung mimicked the exact words you would tell Jimin, wrapping an arm around his waist to hug him.

“I’m sorry.” Jimin apologised softly. Taehyung shook his head to deny Jimin’s need for an apology and just proceeded to stroke the back of the smaller boy’s head. As Taehyung slowly fell back asleep, his soft and even breathing was what managed to calm Jimin down. He slipped out of Taehyung’s grip and left the room.

“H-Hyung?” Jimin knocked.

“What?” Yoongi opened the door.

“Can I talk to you?” Jimin asked. Yoongi sighed and scratched the back of his neck but nodded, stepping aside for Jimin to enter the room. Jin and Namjoon weren’t inside, probably somewhere else in the house.

“Is it really okay for me to go with you tonight?” Jimin asked, sitting on Namjoon’s bed. Yoongi sat on his own bed, opposite where Jimin sat.

“I have no idea what you’re asking me now.” Yoongi raised an eyebrow, leaning back on his hands.

“I want to help save (y/n) but... I’m afraid my anxiety will only hold you back. I don’t know if I should go with you all tonight because I don’t want to be a burden.” Jimin looked down at his lap. Yoongi didn’t say anything and just stared at the way Jimin’s ears folded down in sadness.

“Jimin. I’m just going to be honest with you here.” Yoongi started. Jimin looked up at him and nodded.

“Yeah, it probably will hold us back if you suddenly have an anxiety attack. But you’re going with us with the mindset to save (y/n), isn’t that all that matters? You could be crippled and if you still want to go, nothing or no one should stop you from doing it.” Yoongi said.

“So it’s okay if I go?”

“My opinion shouldn’t matter to you. If you really wanna save her, then go.” Yoongi shrugged.

“Thank you, hyung.” Jimin stood up and was about to leave when Yoongi grabbed his wrist to stop him. He was surprised but turned around to face the panther.

“No one thinks you’re a burden, okay? I know (y/n) wouldn’t be happy if you thought of yourself as one too.” Yoongi told him. Jimin nodded his head as he saw tears starting to pool in Yoongi’s eyes.

“Better get some rest.” Yoongi let him go and Jimin left the room.

When night fell, the hybrids watched from their positions in the kitchen and living room as Kilo locked the doors and windows. This was done every night to ensure that they don’t run away to try and reunite with you. Kilo bid them a lazy goodnight and went out the front door, which was his post for the night, until he came in to sleep on the couch.

“Hyung, are you going?” Jungkook asked when it was just him and his brother in the living room.

“I miss her.” Hoseok admitted with a nod.

“But she abandoned us, just like before. What if she does it again?” Jungkook’s voice quivered. Hoseok sighed, knowing his brother was still traumatised and angry over what happened.

“Even if she does, she’s my mate. My heart knows that she’s probably the only way I’ll smile again.” Hoseok said. It wass after you left that he realised that you were his mate. He hasn’t had a chance to confess to you but rescuing you will grant him that chance.

“What if... I don’t go?” Jungkook asked cautiously.

“Then that’s your decision to make, Kookie. This isn’t a permanent goodbye, we’ll still meet and see each other.” Hoseok gave a small smile.

“Okay.” Jungkook wasn’t going to hold his brother back. He walked to his room and laid on his bed.

When it came close to 1 am, Hoseok went to Jungkook’s room. He had his backpack slung over his shoulder. Jungkook sat on his bed, facing his brother with tears in his eyes.

“So you’ve made your decision?” Hoseok asked softly.

“Please don’t hate me.” Jungkook whispered as he hugged his brother.

“Oh, Kook. I’ll never hate you, the other as well. You’re old enough and I should respect your decision. I’m sure (y/n) would understand too. I’m just sorry I couldn’t be a better brother and protect you.” Hoseok stroked his head.

“No. You’re the best older brother. It was me, all me.” Jungkook denied. Hoseok looked at the clock, it was getting close to 2 am. Hoseok tried his best to force a smile to be strong for his little brother. Leaning down, he pressed a kiss to Jungkook’s forehead.

“I’m sorry, I can’t save her.” Jungkook covered his face as he cried. Hoseok pulled his hands away, making the younger look at him. Hoseok shook his head, not wanting his brother to feel bad for making his decision.

“Bye, Kook.” He ruffled his hair.

“Bye, hyung. Please stay safe. I’ll see you when all this is over.” Jungkook sniffled, wiping his tears. Hoseok nodded and left the room with the heaviest heart.

“Hyung...” Hoseok could hear Jungkook break down in his room. He let go of the doorknob and headed downstairs. Of course, he wanted to be with Jungkook. They have never separated since they’ve met. But you were his true mate, his instinct was to put you above everything else, just like Yoongi does. It hurt but he would just have to live with it for now.

Taehyung had already managed to break the lock that secured the back door. When the others saw the golden retriever coming down alone, with a sullen look on his face, and they knew what was Jungkook’s decision.

“Once we get out, let’s try and see where we are. Then find a way to get back to our old house.” Yoongi instructed and everyone nodded.

“I’m coming, kitten.” Yoongi kissed his necklace. They all looked at each other and stepped out the door, letting the cold winter air of the night greet them. Jimin held Jin’s hand.

“I’ll see you, Kookie.” Hoseok took a deep breath and they all ran out, jumping over the fence and taking off into the forest.

Jungkook sobbed softly into his blanket. The house had never felt colder. He was really all alone.

As much as he wanted to go save you, his heart wouldn’t let him. There was still an undeniable betrayal and pain that he felt. He had allowed himself to be vulnerable and trusting too many times and it always led to heartbreak.

Standing by the window, he watched as the 6 dark figures took off, disappearing into the dark forest one by one.

He looked down at his clenched fist, opening it up to see his purple dog tag sitting in his palm.

Tag list

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