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tragedy-for-sale · 28 days

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Brother I Love

@zaana made a post in which Hunter is the lovey-dovey type of drunk and naturally I really had to write about it.

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Tech had his back turned to his older brother. He listened to Hunter's seemingly silent winces, his shaky, ragged breaths. Tech closed his eyes, he'd already stitched Hunter up, already applied bacta patches, already did everything he could to help his brother's pain, he couldn't do anything else. Tech glanced to look at Hunter, his eyes were closed, hand gingerly tracing his wound. "I'll be back." Tech promptly said, walking to where Wrecker and Echo were waiting.

"Well?" Echo had been with him when it happened, and he had failed to keep Hunter safe. "How's he fairing, Tech?"

"He's in pain." Tech walked over to the fridge, opening it up and staring into the cold void, "He's in pain because he has broken ribs and three stab wounds, and we're not in a position to get him to a bacta tank." Tech shook his head, grabbing the cold blaster and putting it into his holster. Tech thought about suffocating Hunter just a little bit so he'd pass out and rest, but of course his stubborn ass remained conscious the entire time.

"What can we do?" Wrecker asked, standing up and walking to the fridge, was Tech really hungry right now? Wrecker usually waited at least an hour after a sour mission to eat. Wrecker looked at the door, "We need to go get more supplies, there's a village not too far."

"I agree. Tech?" Echo asked, they could leave now, Crosshair would be out of the shower soon and would watch Hunter until then.

Tech didn't say anything, he narrowed his eyes at the two bottles. "Yes, yes," Tech waved his hand as he reached for a bottle, opening it and smelling it. He wouldn't need anything too strong; Hunter was already such a lightweight. "Echo, power down the Marauder." Tech ordered as he grabbed a bottle of whiskey and set it on the counter.

Echo gave Tech a look, especially after seeing the bottle in his brother's hand. Day drinking wasn't usually Tech's thing, but Echo could really use one too. "We taking shots before heading out?" Wrecker laughed as he pulled down glasses.

"No." Tech said, shoving all but one glass back. He felt the Marauder go quiet and he sighed. Tech opened the bottle and poured a glass. This was the only thing he could think of to hold his older brother over until they got back. Now, Hunter would be the most annoying person ever but it was the best choice. For some reason. He walked back over to Hunter, he'd laid back, his breathing was short and shallow. "Drink this." Tech held out the glass.

Hunter opened his eyes, he barely had enough time to process what was in the glass before Tech had forced him to down it. "Whiskey?" Hunter coughed, whincing and pressing his hand against his wound.

"Yes." Tech poured another and held it out.

"Uh, Tech, can't say alcohol is going to help him any." Echo raised an eyebrow watching as Tech poured him a third glass. "Like, at all Tech." Echo's voice strained. Wrecker looked around the Marauder, that's why Tech had Echo power down the Marauder

Tech helped Hunter lay back down. He grabbed his helmet, putting it on before looking back to Echo, "Hunter is still in pain, alcohol will at least dull some of that pain until we return with proper equipment." It was clear Tech wasn't going to take Echo's objections.

"With only three shots?" Echo had seen Fives down at least eight before a blaster shot wasn't so bad.

"Ha, yeah, his lightweight ass can't handle more than that." Wrecker laughed as the main door opened and he walked down the ramp. Though he'd joked, Wrecker felt a great deal of worry. If they had to leave before Hunter had sobered up, the electromagnetic frequencies of the Marauder would be enough to completely overwhelm Hunter. Wrecker didn't want Hunter to be in more pain. He looked back to Tech, he was worrying about the same exact thing.

Crosshair stepped out of the refresher to a silent ship, he noticed someone had cut the lights and he spent the entire time coming up with the perfect comeback, but no one was here. "Figures." He rolled his eyes.

"Cross-" A giddy voice whispered. Crosshair looked around, "Cross, psst-" Crosshair turned and walked over to Hunter, who was laying on the big mattress. Tech must've finished patching him up and they all left?

"Hey, Hunter," Crosshair mumbled as he scanned the area, an empty shot glass, "Where'd everyone go?" He asked. Hunter's eyes were closed, Crosshair reached out, poking his brother's face, his cheeks were hot and flushed.

"-Cross can I tell you something?" Hunter whispered, opening his eyes. Crosshair let out a sigh as he checked the dressing on Hunter's wounds. "Cross-"

"Yes, Hunter?" Crosshair rolled his eyes as he continued to do a quick check-up on his vitals.

"I love you," Hunter reached out, poking Crosshair's shoulder, "Love ya, Cross," He whispered, narrowing his eyes. Crosshair stifled a chuckle, "Like a lot too, I don't think I've told you this, but I love you more than I love my hair and my knives, and I really love my hair and my knives-"

"That..." Crosshair's voice trailed, looking over to his oldest brother, he still had that stupid content smile on his face. Seems like he got Tech's special treatment plan. "You should lie down." He gently pushed Hunter back. He went willingly of course; Crosshair pulled the blanket up nice and high the way Hunter liked it.

"Okay but first you have to promise me something."

"Okay..."

"Promise me you won't let Tech cut my hair with my knives," Hunter sat back up, eyes wide and waving his accusing finger, "I can see it in his eyes, he's just jealous cause my hair is really, really nice and his isn't-" He hung his head, his eyes became really heavy all of a sudden. Crosshair stared at him, making a face, did Hunter just fall asleep? Crosshair poked his brother's face again and jumped back when Hunter shot up.

"Pinky promise me, Crosshair."

"That's your middle finger, Hunter."

"Middle finger promise me, Cross"

This time Crosshair let out a laugh, no one was here except the two of them and he knew for a fact Hunter's ass was not going to remember any of this, "I middle finger promise, Hunter, now please lay down." Hunter nodded and leaned back, closing his eyes. Crosshair stood there for a moment, a lingering smile still on his face.

"I'd be bald and knifeless for you," was the last thing Hunter mumbled before falling asleep.

Crosshair rolled his eyes, pulling the blanket a little higher, "Love you too," He mumbled before leaving his brother to sleep. Crosshair was against the wall next to the big mattress playing on Tech's datapad when the door of the Marauder opened. Crosshair looked to Hunter, who had also woken up, Crosshair nodded to Hunter before he stood up. "Have fun," Crosshair patted Echo on the shoulder.

Hunter sat up and looked over, "Hi guys!" He waved, "You all look so grown up, I'm so proud of all of you." He held his arms out, gesturing them to come to him. Crosshair shoved his brothers toward Hunter. Wrecker laughed as he got on the mattress and let Hunter hug the three of them. "You guys went and got me medicine too?" Hunter felt weepy, "You guys didn't have to do that for me-"

Echo looked to Cross, understanding what he meant. "Hunter you're bleeding-"

"And you care that I'm bleeding," Hunter cried as he pulled them closer, "You guys are the best brothers ever-"

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#Hunter sleeps for 12 hours and doesn't understand why they keep laughing at him #Crosshair secretly loves when Hunter is drunk because he loves hearing that his brothers love him #he's always so scared they don't #I wrote this so I would stop just laughing at my thoughts #now I can laugh at my fic #please understand I think I'm hilarious #really I just made myself laugh #star wars #bad batch #hunter #crosshair #tbb #tech #wrecker #echo #Hunter is a lightweight #and I love the idea of him just word vomiting how much he loves his brothers

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suffarustuffaru · 4 months

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i need to share my very horrible idea to combine the reinhard/julius/otto/subaru boy drama into one julius-centric fic

ok so a little while ago ive made all kinds of ottojuli and reinjuli posts and while i havent finished all my major julisuba posts Yet i am quite fond of julisuba also and i think itd be incredibly funny if you just dumped all of these ships into one story. just go ALL IN on that boy drama!!!! go big or go home amirite!!!! the worlds WORST love trapezoid youve ever seen!!!!

this post is just me rambling fic ideas bc i sadly dont have time for Every Fic Idea and also i just. i just think itd be funny putting multiple ships with the same person in them into one fic. on a serious level its like mimicking real life relationships where sometimes people come and go and you have different dynamics with each person!! on another level i just think this is also very funny so!! here we go. under the cut:

anyway so my idea for this is that you know, julius of course meets reinhard when hes ten and reinhard is eight and then it alters julius's brain chemistry. at first he's in complete awe of reinhard. and then over time the shame starts setting in. that julius isnt as strong as reinhard. and the jealousy sets in a bit too, so julius's got this chip in his shoulder trying to carry his family's legacy and trying to carry the weight of knighthood to be as perfect as possible. to be as close to reinhard as he can. they meet again in their teens and julius shows reinhard the ropes of like basic knight stuff bc reinhard just joined the knights. and of course reinjuli become friends but julius has spent his whole life quietly watching reinhard from afar and now julius still has that distance with reinhard even as theyre supposedly friends now. reinhard is a God, you know? his powers and his leash from the kingdom and his family keep him distant and the two of them are ignoring that. classic homoerotic "do i want him or want to be him" friendship where both of you are too scared to get any closer for various reasons with a Twist (reinhard's very real monster complex that keeps getting validated bc Everyone Around Him thinks hes a monster).

anyway but then julius remembers that you know, shit between reinhard and him wont work out for many reasons, like reinhards family deciding to torment julius at various points in his life (heinkel, whos julius's boss, and reid, who went from julius's childhood idol to. you know.), and also reinhard needs to have kids because hes the sword saint, and also homophobia exists in rezero. and also even if those werent all obstacles julius still has his Complexes connected to reinhard and they got that distance between them so. no go. (repression gets in the way of relationships :((( )

also quick side note is that ex 4 happens and julius reinhard ferris go to vollachia and julius interrupts a meeting with vincent vollachia himself to go "I UNDERSTOOD THAT LITERARY REFERENCE YOU JUST MADE. THATS A REALLY GOOD REFERENCE I LIKED IT A LOT" bc hes a massive nerd and ig this is slightly-more-of-a-disaster-gay julius au so julius is like ............................. vincent was kinda cool for that.

AND THEN SUBARU CRASHES INTO JULIUS'S LIFE and julius is like seeing this guy who's also got a chip in his shoulder and then he insults the knights and says the knights are all depending on their dads (nepotism) and julius is like .......the chip in my shoulder was bad enough and also youre kinda like me fr. and you are clearly a fucking misguided kid so now i have to save your ass. i cant NOT save your ass. and reinhards like "julius and subaru nooo you dont have to do this :((((" and julius cant admit atm that hes also doing this to save subarus life so julius is just like "he disrespected the knights >:(((("

but yes we all know what happened there. julius saves subarus life. julius has to slice subarus throat in that one failed loop. they become friends across several timelines. they also homoerotically share souls, you know, typical bromance things, rivals to lovers except subarus the one going YOURE MY RIVAL and julius is like he is SUCH an upstart. hes really grown on me like a fungus but thats the appeal. and julius i think sees subaru as like a kindred spirit (or at least thats how i interpret julisuba) except subaru is like way more freer than julius is. same desire to prove yourself but subarus not restraining himself constantly like julius. its sometimes to the point of recklessness and general stupidity and what have you, but his boldness and bravery and determination and heart really is admirable.........................

yeah so anyway julius falls for ANOTHER guy again, you know how it is sometimes. the heart wants what it wants and julius is cursed to always have the worst meetings with his closest friends. and of course julius gets heartbroken bc wtf i have to kill my new friend :((( noo!!!! but in the finished loop its like. oh subaru...... hes really improved himself. hes grown so much already. hes kind of. inspirational really. idk how he does it. except subarus you know got that Mystery to him the same way reinhard does (theyre traumatized and Cant Take About It Normally so they just randomly lore drop what they can) and also subarus SUPER into emilia. and julius is like .................... well. subarus taken. haha. and reinhards. taken. fuck me. fuck. and like somethings going on with subaru and rem and emilia right. fuck. and subarus got his whole toxic masculinity / gender crisis..... and he doesnt know hes Bisexual yet...... man. what a loss for julius amirite haha.

and also subarus busy after arc 3........... and julius has no idea whats happening there but that seems Real serious :(( and julius's got other things to attend to so he hopes subaru reaches out to him eventually..... or that they cross paths again since subarus in the emilia camp and julius is in ana camp (and of course reinhard is in felt camp and like that was a whole debacle bc wtf. reinhard, u do know thatd be a big deal to our mutual friend felix?). so. julius pines from afar ONCE AGAIN HAHA.

(also of course subarus still attracted to reinhard here. its um. well julisuba can bond now over pining over reinhard but thats for later also!!)

anyway of course during arc 3 julius briefly runs into some gray haired merchant twink thats being dragged around by subaru bc ana camp rescued this guy from a cave somewhere??? and this new guy and subaru made a deal or whatever so he was just helping out in the background of the fight against sloth??

and whaddya know................ julius goes to drink at a bar bc you know he probably tastes wine for fun in his free time (hes definitely Fond of wine anyway iirc) and now hes Sad over the Ones That Got Away so. bar it is. and gray haired merchant twink is there!! no way. they start talking a bit casually while drinking you know and julius's taste is Unfortunately either the graceful ones (anastasia, because julius has great taste in women) or the cringe fail ones (all the twinks - except for felix - that julius keeps having the wildest first meetings with, because julius has slightly shit taste in men) so julius is like huh this otto guys kinda funny lol. endearing in a weird way!! and -

oops they both end up being a little. they make a little bit of a move on each other. bc they were drinking and got a Bit tipsy. ottos Also not over the one that got away (subaru) (again) and hey. the finest knight truly is. Fine. objectively fine. totally. so you know. things get a little out of hand, maybe they do a bit of cringe fail flirting hidden underneath five million layers of repression and the Horrors of Being Known but ultimately they both embarrass themselves somehow (read: how far they went with each other while under the influence is up to you) and agree to Never Speak of This Again bc oopsies they were both technically each other's first time being Straightforwardly Not Straight with another man. oops. anyway julius has to go back to his camp and otto fucking bolts but he bolts right into subaru and gets his ass dragged into sanctuary drama.

julius is totally not a little bit envious about that.................... about otto getting to accompany subaru to sanctuary... but dont worry julius!! youll get to make up for it later!! bc eventually arc 5 stuff happens. and julius is Glad to see reinhard and subaru again. even with all the Baggage. and subaru is of course Weird about julius but eventually subaru reassures julius after they both confide in each other about the astrea drama (theyre honorary astreas via being dragged into the astrea family mess). and subarus reassuring to julius in a whole new way okay. subaru, whos unrestrained and incapable of being on the down low about anything, and julius, whos always holding himself back with a gazillion layers of repression, starts learning to let go a bit...

but also juliotto meet again. its terribly awkward and they both agreed to never speak of their awkward encounters again. subaru is going ??? and reinhard is clueless. otto then also goes to save reinhard and felt from heinkel trying to take felt hostage, which was also terribly awkward but reinhard and felt are grateful about it (but lbr if reinhard and otto knew each other deeper reinhard would maybe be a little. Apprehensive. around otto while otto would be sympathetic with reinhard bc hes like male emilia). but then while otto manages not to get erased by gluttony....... julius gets erased. of course. which you know results in being forgotten by reinhard in julius's THIRD first meeting ever with reinhard. and subarus the only one who remembers him of course.

then arc 6 happens :,))))) and julius of course has to confront his ideas of knighthood, his identity, his self esteem, and who he is outside of His Name. and also julius gets his ass beat by reid. his childhood idol. who reinhard KNEW was a shitty person but never ever told julius (whether this is because reinhard wanted to spare julius's hero worship or because reinhard never got the chance to tell julius is hard to say lajdsf). but julius does get to triumphantly win in the end!! grow as a person!!! learn to undo a bit of that repression and not hold himself to impossible standards all the time!! hes growing still!!! hes finally solidified his friendships with people like subaru and emilia!! hes remaking his relationship with anastasia!! hes asserted himself, hes planning on going to meet reinhard again one day and duel him!! things are looking up even if its still bittersweet that he doesnt have his name back yet!! does this mean?? perhaps?? a HAPPY ENDING?? julius can have the two men (reinhard and subaru) he admires the most in his life?????? as friends???? or as boyfriends?????? slowburn mutual pining????????????????????????????????????????

and then comes. arc 8 otto. that piece of shit.

julius is very much someone who has to grapple with the weight of the expectations that people throw at him. and also reinhard is someone who May envy julius a bit, but there's also you know, joshua and subaru with the Explicit Envy and (past) resentment because theyre placing heavy expectations on julius!! theyre pointing blame at julius!! julius is trying to find himself outside of stuff like that, especially after arc 6, but he's still got stuff to work on you know? he still has duties to fulfill!! loyalty that he has to act on bc hes gotta help subaru and co in arc 8!! and then in comes otto.

otto is also someone with expectation placed on him, but its Different. ottos mostly a nobody and when hes Not a nobody, his reputation tends to be Derogatory. hes a menace. hes a bad luck charm. hes grappling with the fact that he has to keep being left behind - post-arc 5 bc he was injured, but also repeatedly during arcs 7 and 8 because hes too physically weak to be on the same playing field as emilia or garfiel or subaru on the battlefield. he feels Useless after placing his identity on the expectation that hes Dependable and Useful.

julius is a bit more on even ground with otto now that julius is. also mostly a nobody bc his name is still gone. and also julius had to deal with having that part of his identity crushed. julius tried to be useful over and over in arc 6 only to get his ass repeatedly curb stomped by reid in the beginning. he was a nobody. he wasnt dependable anymore. and also otto is that one guy he had a Passing Fling with over having The Ones Who Got Away and julius was still vaguely hopeful about maybe being pals at least but ottos brushed him off a bit since arc 5. theyre like each others secrets you know? and now otto doesnt know that shit - julius is the only one who Knows - and otto also hates julius's fucking guts now. over SUBARU. and julius has been through this whole rodeo clown circus with arc 3 subaru so this is an absolutely terrible ride through memory lane.

and this is julius's THIRD twink that hates him for terribly unfair reasons. julius is very tired and a bit heartbroken in this au trying to pretend it doesnt bother him. on one level it doesnt. bc ottos pathetic and clearly Overcompensating for Something. on another level it kinda does bc julius had a Thing going with otto. and otto is the complete opposite of julius. like hes different from the other guys julius has liked.

julisuba is about complimentary opposites - they appear Extremely Different at first glance but theyre very similar. theyre people who try to look and act bigger than they are, people who keep reaching to be The Best, to be Perfect, because theyre overcompensating. theyre worried their entire identity is only built off of trying to be bigger than the shadow that other people in their lives (like their families) cast. but they cant reach perfection. and julius is like subaru but if subaru tried to really make himself "refined" - if he tried to stop putting his heart on his sleeve all the time. reinsuba are very similar too. theyre very refined knights who try to keep themselves in check at all times while the weight of the world is on their shoulders. they cant have a hair out of place. except julius is like the "smaller" version of reinhard. julius is less powerful. its like comparing a human and a "god" - reinhard, whos untouchable. but its a double edged sword, because julius gets to be a normal person, because half the expectation placed on him is also purely from himself, while reinhard isnt. reinhard isnt Free. hes on a leash by the kingdom and his family. julius even gets his kind of "celebrity" status stolen from him via the loss of his name. hes truly kind of Normal now - julius is like if reinhard didnt have his crazy abilities and had a little more of a chance to be free.

otto? yeah otto is. very very far from all of that. hes so obviously imperfect that most of his reputation, when its brought up, is just him being known as a mess who's caused various forms of chaos everywhere he goes. either that or hes just. There. Invisible. very very average. and otto is someone who wants a nice comfortable life, someone who wants to fit in - julius and subaru arent Exactly like that, and while reinhard also wants to be normal, ottos the one who has more of an opportunity. but he doesnt. because otto Dooms Himself by being recklessly cutthroat. otto is like if subaru was just. More of an asshole, so ottojuli would just be a rather Extreme Challenge for julius to have to deal with HAH. and normally otto is someone who repays how people treat him - a very "you treat me like this, i'll treat you the same way in turn" kind of deal, except ottos developed a vendetta against julius and its basically like if subaru never let go of his arc 3 julius vendetta.

yes so anyway. etc etc stuff probably happens but i ran out of ideas lajdlfjasdf i just think combining ALL the boy drama and recontextualizing + adding to canon would be. batshit crazy. and terribly entertaining. im so sorry julius but i want to see you crack a bit under the pressure. reinjuli as a ship is like tragic gay yearning that never goes anywhere past being friends with quiet homoerotic tension, then julisuba is. you know. extreme rivals to lovers, starts out Rough but then ends up being super super sweet and theyre Trying their best underneath the self esteem issues. and then ottojuli is. toxic yaoi at its finest (pun intended). you get Every flavor of mlm possible!!

ok so you may be asking "ok what would you even name this fic then" and to that i say that this would be called To All the Boys I've Loved Before.

anyway i really wanna write this idea someday ill inform you guys (if youre reading this and are Interested) if it ever happens :< so. in conclusion this is just julius the entire time throughout all of these events:

#rezero #re:zero #arc 5-8 spoilers #yes i made this post also so i can dramatically drop the wip title for this fic idea at the end of it and then laugh to myself bc i think #its the most perfect title of all time.#also adding up all of the rezero boy drama is important to me ok. and i was mostly going into the julius side of things in this post aldsjf #it gets messier when you remember reinsuba. and ottosuba. and reinotto. its incredibly funny to me. truly the worlds worst love pentagon.#or love square???? love shape????#on a serious note i would love to see more queer stories exploring like. a person's different relationships over the years. bc sometimes it #does feel like this you know?? having drastically different dynamics with each person and each person knows you in different ways!!#its a fun character study exercise. and it feels true to life imo. you grow and change throughout your life and your relationships at each #time period can kind of reflect who you were as a person at the time. if that makes sense. idk i have many feelings on it HAH #natsuki subaru #reinhard van astrea #otto suwen #julius juukulius #also i do often hc reinhard otto julius as being on the ace spectrum. i dont really write otto being ace in mind for Every wip i do but yes #i do have these hcs and reasoning for them!!! also specifically i hc reinhard as being on the aroace spectrum. these are just hcs of course #hah but yes i quite like my hcs for them.

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