#really just a dealbreaker for me when it comes to humans

[peterman-spideyparker]

Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy (Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader)

Author’s Note: Happy Halloween, everyone! Yes, it’s still technically Halloween, so I’m getting this in while I still can. I kept meaning to write this all month, but I never actually remembered to--one Hocus Pocus viewing later, and voila! Enjoy! :)

Summary: Getting in the holiday spirit, you, Matt, Karen, and Foggy to a themed Halloween costume, enjoying drinks at Josie’s after work when you make a passing comment. Come the end of the night, an opportunity arises that lets both you and Matt explore your words from the bar.

Warnings: Fluff (friendly banter, Matt and Reader are close, Reader knows about Matt’s hobby), swearing, smut (oral- f!receiving (cuz Matt can’t help himself), cowgirl, praise, p in v unprotected sex, more smut insinuated), bad plot because I wanted to write this so don’t @ me

Other Characters: Foggy Nelson and Karen Page

Word Count: 2,363

“Well, if I do say so myself, we look good,” you sigh as you lean against the bar counter. “I think we need to do an office theme group costume every year.”

“I don’t know about that,” Matt he says, clearing his throat before sipping his beer.

“No, I agree with (Y/N)—we look damn good,” Foggy seconds, tipping his hat. 

“Agreed,” Karen sighs. “Best law firm in the west.”

“I just don’t remember agreeing to the Western theme,” Matt adds with a shrug. 

“Well, it is what it is. And, think of it this way: we’ll be an economical option for any new faces that wander into the bar or we meet in passing tonight.”

“I’m not following,” he trails. 

“Well, you know what they say, Murdock. Save a horse, ride a cowboy,” you tease, lightly bumping your hip into his. Matt clears his throat as he shakes his head in amusement and annoyance while Foggy and Karen double over in laughter. 

“It wasn’t that funny,” you say with furrowed brows. “How much have you two had to drink?”

“We might have started at the office while you guys wrapped up at court,” Karen admits, but you can tell there’s something off in her response. 

“Well, don’t go too nuts, yeah? My liver hurts at the idea of how much you two might drink tonight.”

“And I don’t think (Y/N) or I want to have to maneuver the streets of New York on Halloween to make sure you get home safely,” Matt adds.

“Mm!” you hum, cutting your drink short to agree with Matt. “And don’t even try to counter with cabs and ride-shares—never on Halloween.”

“Fine,” Foggy concedes. “We won’t get too sloshed, I promise. Scouts honor.”

“You weren’t a Scout,” Matt interjects.

“Just take the sentiment, hm?”

Matt and you turn to one another, speaking in your longtime friend telepathic bond before you turn back to your friends and tip your hats in unison.

“Sounds good, partner,” Matt says with a twang. 

“Yeehaw,” you second. 

“You should really wear flannels more, Matty,” you tell him as you walk arm and arm down the sidewalk, Foggy and Karen having broken off to walk towards their apartments.

“Thanks,” Matt nods. “I’ll make sure to add some to my shopping list.”

“Come on, it feels soft, and it must be keeping you nice and warm.”

“It is. You good? Staying warm?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Anyways, I have a human radiator walking next to me. It’s just a bummer that your apartment is before mine.”

“I’m not letting you walk home alone. I thought you knew me better than that.”

“And I’ve told you I don’t like you walking home by yourself, either. You might have all your abilities to back you, God forbid anything ever happens, but to the rest of the world, you’re just a blind man walking the street. I worry about you, Matty.”

“Well, how about you just stay over tonight?” he suggests. “We don’t have to worry about each other. I’ll even throw my Columbia sweatshirt in the dryer since you’re chilly.”

“What, no cuddles?” you joke.

You don’t need to have Matt’s super hearing to hear how his breath hitches at my words. 

“I mean, if it’s a dealbreaker, I guess I can cave on it,” he chuckles.

You move to take off your hat, holding it in your hand as you rest your head in his shoulder. “Okay, Matt. You’ve got yourself a deal, lawyer-man.”

Matt laughs lightly a little more, holding your close as you round the corner to his building. When you make it up the stairs and into his loft, you hum in delight as you feel the warmth of Matt’s apartment wrap around you like hug, the lights from the billboard bathing the entire place in glorious reds and blues.

“Let me go get some clothes and throw them in the dryer for my chilly best friend,” Matt smiles, putting his hand lightly in the small of your back as he moves behinds you. The movement brings goosebumps to your skin and makes your cheeks burn hot. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” you lie. “Still a bit cold, I guess.”

“Then it’s good I’m going to warm you up, then.”

You take a deep breath in through your nose and bit the inside of your lip, trying to keep the tingliness you feel at bay. While he does that, you sit on the couch, tucking your legs under yourself as you wait for him. 

“Those should be good in fifteen minutes,” he says with a smile, glasses off, sitting next to you. “You’ll have to suffer just a bit longer, I’m afraid.”

“I think I’ll survive,” you sigh dramatically, resting your head in your hand, your elbow propped on the back of the couch. 

“You have fun tonight?”

“I always have fun with you guys. The question is if you had fun.”

“I did,” he smiles, copying your body language. “But I think you want to tell me something, though.” 

“That’s not fair you can tell things like that,” you grumble. 

“But spot on,” he smirks.

“Yeah,” you sigh. “Listen, I’m sorry if what I said at the bar crossed a line.”

“What did you say?”

“The horse and cowboy thing.”

“It’s okay. You saw the opportunity and took it. It’s a good joke. And it’s okay to be a little horny on Halloween.”

You swallow as you feel your heart begin to tick up. “Are you saying you’re horny tonight, Matty? Is that why you invited me back?”

“No.” You’re suddenly very aware of how close he is. “But I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about it.” His forehead rests on yours. “Please tell me you’ve thought about it.”

Leaning forward, you close the small gap between you and feel his lips on yours, soft, warm, and welcoming. His hand cradles your cheek, slowly moving to the back of your head, threading his fingers in your hair. You sigh into his lips, focusing on the way his scruff scratches against your skin and how his mouth moves against yours. While you get yourself lost in the fluidity of his lips, you’re unaware of how his body reacts to you. When his hands move to grip your waist and bring you on his lap, you gasp, your lips opening into an “O” as a bright smile spreads along his face. You bring your hands to hold his face, pulling him back in for a deep kiss, your bodies rocking back and forth on the couch. Matt’s finger scrunch up the blend of your shirt in an effort to hold you impossibly close to him, pulling his lips from yours to press large, damp, needy kisses along your jaw and down the column of your neck. You whimper as his mouth secures around your pulse point, feeding on the flesh like a hungry animal. 

With a grunt, Matt lifts your bodies from the couch and takes purposeful steps toward the bedroom, his mouth never once faltering from its work on your flesh. Matt leans over on the mattress, locking your body between him and the bed as he moves his fervent kisses from your neck back to your lips, but not before retracing the path he initially took. When Matt’s mouth reaches yours once more, he slips his tongue in, exploring how you taste, smushing your noses together. Your legs latch around his waist, pressing the strained tent in his jeans against your core that you feel growing wetter with each passing embrace.

You clear your head long enough to pull your lips from Matt’s, placing quick and sloppy kisses all over his face before moving to tug at his earlobe. The moan that escapes Matt’s lips is sinful, dipping his head just so to kiss your chest.

“Matty,” you whisper in his ear. “Matty, please. Let me takes these off of you.”

“Yeah angel?” he hums, dragging his nose up your throat.

Removing his body from yours, Matt doesn’t waste any time, ripping open his shirt and quickly discarding the material to his left on the mattress. While he works to get his jeans off, you mimic his movements and take your clothes off as fast as you can when you get an idea. Your panties come off with your skinny jeans and you quickly remove your bra, but not before Matt lowers his lips to your bare stomach and right to your pussy, waisting no time. Judging by the pace that he laps and sucks at the skin, he’s either incredibly horny, or he has thought about doing exactly this for a long time—the manner that his hands palm and squeeze the meat of your spread thighs make you inclined to believe it’s the second one.

Abruptly, he pulls his lips from your core and brings them back to my lips for a deep kiss and letting you taste how you mix with him. The embrace is sloppy and raunchy, making your head spin with delight. Feeling how his rock hard cock presses against you, you take advantage of the situation, rolling you around on the bed and moving down the length of his body.

“Not so fast, Matthew,” you chuckle, gently taking hold of the base of his cock, the heavy weight of his length nothing short of glorious in your hand. Tentatively, you lick the tip of his pink head, tasting the saltiness of his precum and spreading it around before slowly take him in your mouth. Matt lets out a throaty moan, and you hear his head drop onto the pillow. What you can’t fit into my mouth you supplement with your hand, moving up and down him at a steady pace, using your tongue to feel the veins and minute contours of the muscle. The more excited you get, the sloppier your movements become, and the faster the whimpers and whines fall from his lips.

“Angel,” he pants. “Fuck, you’re doing so good for me. Good girl, good gi—fuck. Just like that.”

With a delighted hum, you move back up from his length and release him with a loud pop.

“If you liked that, Matty, I think you’ll like what comes next,” you smile. 

Giving him a few more pumps, you move to straddle this hips, hovering just slightly. Sliding on his discarded flannel, you tie it tight just under your breasts and lean forward to take the cowboy hat from his head that has managed to stay on this entire time, putting it on your own. A dopey, lopsided grin spreads across his face.

“And what do you have planned, exactly?” he asks with a quirk of his eyebrow. 

“What I said earlier tonight,” you tell him, positioning his cock right at your entrance. “I’m going to ride a cowboy.”

With that, you sink down on his length and feel a glorious stretch. Your eyes close in delight, and you can only assume Matt’s expression matches yours from the way he interlaces his fingers with yours. Taking a moment to adjust to his length and girth, you slowly begin to move up and down him. Your moans and pants slowly start to fill the room, the sound making your heart race and your skin grow warm.

“So big, Matt,” you moan as you switch from up and down motions to rocking your hips back and forth. The change makes Matt cry out in pleasure, pulling his fingers from how they’re clasped to hold tightly to the flesh of your hips, guiding you to keep a steady rhythm. One of your hands moves to rest on his abdomen while the other holds onto the hat to keep it on.

“S-shit,” he curses. “You feel so good for me, riding me like that, sweetheart. So wet, baby.”

“Matty,” you moan as you move my hips faster.

“I know, I know. Give me those curves, baby.”

Leaning forward, you move down and kiss him, allowing him to continue guiding your hips.

“Fill me so good,” you mutter into his skin. “Hit the spot.”

“Yeah? You like how I feel in you? Huh? Fuck, you’re perfect.”

The pace and angle starts to become too much, your breathing becoming more erratic and your cries more desperate.

“Are you gonna be a good girl and cum for me?” Matt grunts in your ear, placing kisses wherever he can on your face. “Can you do that for me?”

“Y-Yes,” you pant, focusing only on Matt’s skin and how his heart thunders in his chest. It’s just enough to push you over the edge, and you squeeze his cock, your hands desperately clutching onto his shoulders while his hands maintain your momentum. “Matt!”

“I know, I-I’m clo—ohh, fuck!” Matt moans, his hips slapping hard into you, filling you with his load. “Fuck, angel!” 

As you ride out your highs together, you collapse on his chest, your chests heaving from the exertion.

“Howdy,” he chuckles, pushing the hat back to kiss your forehead.

You giggle before you return the greeting: “Howdy.”

“You’re really good at that, you know.”

“You’re not half bad yourself, Murdock.”

Bringing your lips back to his, you kiss him once more, the sweetness and slow nature of the embrace different than the heated passion from your other exchanges. Matt takes the hat from your head, putting it somewhere to the side as he rolls you over, somehow staying inside of you in the change of position. 

“Still want those clothes from the dryer?” 

You smile and shake your head in disbelief. The sass of this man is incredible.

“I think I might be okay, especially if you let me stay in your arms for the night.”

Matt’s fingers ghost up to the knot of his shirt on your body, letting the cotton blend fabric fall to the side and expose your breasts as he lets his lips hover just over yours, teasing you as the corners of his curl up. “I don’t see that being a problem at all, angel. In fact, I don’t have any intention of letting you go.”

Permanent Taglist: @majesticavenger​ @steampowerednightvaler​ @themusingsofmany @just-the-hiddles​ @toozmanykids​ @dangertoozmanykids101 @clints-worldavengers @theburningbookshop@itwasthereaminuteago @peter1ismybrother@hellskitchens-whore​ @dpaccione

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[reasonsforhope]

Btw, if anyone cares to know, my position on Biden and the 2024 election is this:

Starting September* 1, 2024, I will be doing whatever I can to make sure that Trump does not get a second term as president

Until that day, I'm going to be doing whatever I can to push for an end to the genocide in Gaza and an immediate ceasefire, and that includes criticizing, protesting, and lambasting Biden for funding and providing weapons for Israel's genocide

ETA: I will still be posting about significant good things the Biden administration has done, though, because some of it is a really big deal that people deserve to know about

ETA: But I will not be defending Biden from any criticism around Palestine/Israel/war crimes

*This originally said October 1st but someone pointed out to me that there are a few states where early voting starts in late September, including a couple swing states, so I changed it because that's a very good point

I don't plan to tell anyone not to vote for Biden in the meantime, myself, because shitty two party system and I'm really serious about Trump not getting reelected

But I'm also not going to do anything to discourage people who are seriously rallying against Biden, because he is, you know, literally bypassing Congress to make sure he can fund crimes against humanity

I never want to diminish that reality.

And more than that: If we want genocide to actually be a dealbreaker for politicians and presidents... then we need to start acting like it could be.

--

Details/related thoughts:

I will still be posting about good things Biden and his administration are doing, because they are the ones running the US government and Congress is super deadlocked, so a lot of the national-level good news in the US has been done by his administration, and I'm not going to stop posting about that good news

Shout-out to the anon who accused me of being a US government propagandist with a whole PR team bc I posted about Biden a few days in a row. I promise you I'm blogging from my bed in my pjs and do not have a PR team lol

Also, for people who don't think we should be spreading serious criticism about Biden, for fear of Trump winning in 2024: I hear you--that's an incredibly valid fear. I've struggled with that myself, in the process of coming to this(/these) decision(s). But consider this: it's better that we really pile on the criticism and pressure now, because a) people are dying, and b) Biden's chances will be much worse if Israel is still bombing/decimating Gaza on election day

Relatedly, for anyone who's tempted to think Trump would be better when it comes to the Gaza genocide, again, it's really understandable to want to put your hope in any viable alternative. However, I promise you that is not going to happen. Joe Biden at least conditionally gives a couple shits about human life. Trump doesn't. Remember Trump's Muslim ban? In all likelihood, Trump would just tell Israel to bomb Gaza harder and ban Palestinian refugees from entering the US

Last thing on Trump: maybe this is naive of me, but for a lot of reasons, I'm not actually particularly worried about Trump winning in 2024. If I was, I might have made some different calls here. I have a few asks about this in my inbox and will probably make a post at some point about the reasons why, but yeah, Democrats have mostly been wanting to run against Trump instead of DeSantis or Haley or whoever for some very real reasons

You're welcome to disagree with me/this post in any direction, btw

Seriously, I'm just a random person who doesn't speak for anyone besides myself and my own blog. I'm not saying these are categorically the right answers, or that any of this is what everyone should be doing. This is simply the system I have settled on (right now) for how I personally want to handle all of this

You're welcome to disagree with me but please don't send me any angry asks about any of it. Not that I in any way get a lot of those, thankfully! But yeah, this isn't something I'm interested in debating, this is mostly for notification/explanation purposes

#palestine #cw war #cw genocide #us politics #biden #not news #me #reminder that all my posts related to the war/genocide are tagged as “palestine” and “cw war” #and if you need to filter reminders about all of this then you should #esp coming from you know a good news blog #Far better to engage with all of this news/info deliberately when/where you're in a place to handle it #then to keep spiraling and spiraling because it keeps surprising you in the middle of your dash #that's what I do actually I have several related tags filtered on here #and then when I'm up for it I go read a bunch of news articles and look up protest listings #and you know actually go to protests or post about it on here etc. etc.

[bookshelfdreams]

Hey I like a lot of the takes you have regarding the pirate show so I wanted to ask for your opinion on smth that's been bothering me for a while:

I have a deep seated dislike for Hamilton. Twinkifying the fucking founding fathers, romanticizing slave abusers and overall villainizing the wrong people while others (Hamilton at the front naturally) gets sung at. Speaking of singing - I really hate it. Shipping (i want to repeat) the founding fathers, the blatant white washing bla bla bla. Anyway those are all known problems and better people have said it smarter before and that isn't really my point

It's the fact that a friend of mine recently brought up that Ofmd pretty much is the same and I shouldn't scream so loud in my glass house. Inaccurate historically speaking, the blatant ignoring of the slave owning that the real Stede and Edward did and so on and so forth. Minus the singing perhaps if we ignore Frenchies and Izzys

So. Does it make me a hypocrite to like ofmd so much but despise the mere mention of Hamilton? It's a thing I'm really stressed about lately and that kind of ruined my joy about finally getting season 2. I would love to hear your opinion. or that of your followers for that matter.

Thank you 😊

oh thank YOU because I do feel that this is an interesting thing to examine and we do not talk about it enough.

I have never seen Hamilton, or listened to the songs (except some snippets). I have never been involved in the fandom. I really, really can't speak to what the musical itself did wrong and right. But I will say this: There was a reason it got as popular and received the critical acclaim that it did. I can't speak to how it addresses the systemic injustice baked into the USA from the very beginning, and I do have a suspicion that it glosses over a lot of uncomfortable truths. But I also feel it is important that we divorce the source material from the fandom it spawns because ultimately, Miranda isn't responsible for Hatsune Miku Binder Jefferson, or the whole hivliving debacle.

Just as David Jenkins isn't responsible for the handwaving of slavery in fanworks, or the great Izzy Hands Debate, or whitewashing in fanart, or shitty, racist headcanons of the characters of colour, or whatever deranged scandal is yet to come to light. This is true for all fandoms; criticizing fandom dynamics is a very different conversation from criticizing the canon.

Let's focus on the canon here, though, because defending the fandom is pointless, and not something I want to do. Curate your experience.

The first thing to say is: If you like ofmd but don't like Hamilton, that's not hypocritical at all, that's first and foremost a matter of taste. Things are good when we like them and bad when we don't. We don't have to find objective reasons for it.

If the fact that the historical Stede Bonnet was a slaveowner, and the historical Blackbeard also participated in the slave trade, are dealbreakers for someone, that's valid. People have every right to be uncomfortable with that. The conversation could end at this point, if we want it to (I don't because I love to hear myself talk).

If we look at the historical figures a little closer the first stark difference is the cultural context in which they exist. The founding fathers seem to be extremely mythologized in the american consciousness but also, are understood to be real historical people. The founding myth is fundamental to the way in which the USA perceives itself (that is, as a beacon of freedom and democracy), and it's pretty hard to reconcile that with the bloodshed and human misery it was founded on. It's uncomfortable; and it's not just an American problem. Every western nation/former colonial power has quite literal corpses in their closets they'd rather not talk about (just so you don't think I'm getting on a high horse about the famed Erinnerungskultur here; go ask a german person about Lothar von Trotha and what he did to the Nama and Herero to receive a blank stare). The difference is, that the founding fathers are too prominent and too important to just not talk about, so instead, they are sanitized to a degree that can be straight up historical revisionism.

That's not Miranda's fault. Nor is it the fault of any one particular piece of historical fiction, biography, documentary, or what have you. But it is the context in which Hamilton exists and, from what I understand, a culture to which it contributes. Especially since it's based on a biography of the real Alexander Hamilton, and (again, to my understanding) claims to tell a more or less accurate story.

Pirates, on the other hand, are perceived completely differently. They are mythologized, but not for ideological reasons, not as state-building propaganda. Pirates are more like folk heroes; cultural icons (near) completely divorced from whatever historical figure once lived. They are "real" in the sense that they are based on real people, but engaging with them, from the start, has a layer of removal from reality that engaging with figures like the founding fathers hasn't. Blackbeard is from a saga. George Washington is from history.

ofmd, specifically, makes clear at every turn that what we are told is a fictional story that has very little to do with any real events. It's openly anachronistic, it has absurd internal logic. Life-threatening injuries are walked off. There's actual magic. Dinghies are treated like spawn points in a video game. Everything, from the costumes to the vernacular to the story beats, tells the audience that none of this is real.

You wouldn't accuse, idk, A Knight's Tale, or Mel Brooks's Men In Tights of whitewashing history. I feel like ofmd plays in a similar league; it's a comedy very vaguely based on history, and it makes sure the audience knows we are not about to be told anything true. If you watch ofmd, you know this isn't about the real, historical Stede Bonnet or Edward Teach.

So. Let's examine the actual story, yes? The story that is told here is anticolonialist, antiracist, and challenges oppressive power structures as much as is possible for a production like this. It addresses these things and condemns them, both explicitly and in its underlying message. (I'm not gonna explain all of this, enough ink has been spilled about it by people smarter than me)

I do not know what Hamilton is about at its core. I know Our Flag Means Death is about authenticity in the face of the whole world telling you there's something wrong with you. It's about resisting dehumanization and reclaiming your personhood. It's about love, in a radical, system-destroying way, about breaking the cycle of abuse, about healing, and finding joy.

Yes, the real historical figures it's based on were all horrible people. Again, if that's a dealbreaker, that's fine. I'm not trying to convince anyone who is deeply uncomfortable with that fact; it's perfectly understandable.

However, for me, personally, the story as a whole is so far removed from reality, and so firm in its message, that I feel this is forgivable.

(Oh, and a lat aside, I also feel like likening ofmd to Hamilton seldom seems to come from a place of genuine criticism. Often it seems to be more along the lines of "Hamilton is cringe, and if I say ofmd=Hamilton ppl will be too embarrassed to defend it" which yk. feels kinda disingenuous to me.)

#oh also im a white european so yk limited perspective here #i do encourage people with different perspectives to join in the conversation! #or like link the things youve already written on this because i know people have talked about this before #i just kindly ask you to leave your 'ew cringe' arguments at the door. thanks. #our flag means death #anonymaus #message #thoughts

[twstwinnie]

♚ With You ~ Lilia Vanrouge

summary: in a relationship with Lilia! usual three categories: pining, confession, and dating! while this should be a given, I’ll say it explicitly here: the reader is an adult in this given Lilia’s age <3 whether they’re a third year like Leona, or the prefect, is up to you as the reader!

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, mutual pining, gn! reader

a/n: OK SO. this was a request from the comments (I do read those!) also, i was inspired to write for Lilia because I have a friend who really loves him, and i too love the bat boy! so, consider this a sort of love letter to Lilia as a character! For requests, Sebek is likely next, though feel free to lmk what y’all wanna see in asks/comments! enjoy!! special thanks to my beloved Lilia lovers for giving me inspo xx — winnie ♥︎

♚ starry - eyed !

» Unlike many other students at NRC, Lilia is one of few who’s fully aware of how he feels about you. He’s been alive long enough to recognize the signs— a quickened heartbeat, his eyes lingering on you for a few moments too long, even the way he seeks out your company in his free time.

» While, yes, he’s aware of his feelings, he’s stopped dead in his tracks by fear. It’s such a silly thing to him, really, but he can’t help it. He finds himself afraid that his lifespan might scare you off. Sure, he’s probably not got very long left, but in comparison to your human lifespan— it’s still quite a bit longer. Would you be alright with that? Or would his practical immortality be a dealbreaker?

» He knows that you accept him despite your difference in species, but would that translate if he was romantically interested? He hasn’t a clue, and so he’s bitten his tongue about how he truly feels— hiding behind a mask of teasing and jokes for the time being.

» Yes, teasing. No amount of reservations towards confessing could ever stop Lilia from teasing you. If anything, it only causes his teasing to increase, eventually evolving into something a bit more flirtatious.

» When you’re engrossed in any type of study at the library, he’ll appear in front of you, floating upside down with a wide grin on his face. When you jump back, startled, he merely laughs and comments on how cute you look when you’re focused.

» Sometimes, when you’re walking to class or back to your dorm, he’ll jump out and hug you from behind, near-tackling you to the ground. And though you’re always startled, you always know it’s Lilia hugging you. You’ll just let out a laugh, turn around, and hug him right back. The first time it happened, Lilia couldn’t help his shocked expression, easily melting into your warmth. Now, it’s exactly what he wants and expects when he does this. After all, hearing your laughter and gentle tone as you return his hug is always worth it to him.

» Despite all of this, though, he can’t find it in him to confess— convinced that you two are better off as friends. Who knows what the future holds? Human lives are already so delicate— would it truly be worth it for what’ll feel like a flash of happiness?

» This point comes up when he’s playing online games with Idia. Honestly, he doesn’t quite expect the conversation to take such a turn, but it does.

» “Red, you’ve been a lot less active lately. Kind of an L… but I guess it’s to be expected since you’ve got that partner of yours. Meh. At least you seem happier,” Idia comments. Lilia audibly hums, hands pausing on his keyboard.

» “Ah, you’re mistaken, Shroud. They aren’t my partner— just a friend! Much like you!” Lilia chimes. Idia lets out a quiet, disgruntled sound on the other end.

» “Uh, yeah, pass. We aren’t friends like that. I’m not blind, Lilia. Everyone sees how you look at them. If you were like that with me I’d be weirded out… but uh, why haven’t you told them anyway?” Idia idly questions, and Lilia sighs.

» “Well, us fae have prolonged lifespans. I can imagine that’d be a dealbreaker for most. I’m fine just being their cutest friend!” Lilia hums, but he can practically hear Idia’s eyes roll from the other end.

» “That’s a load of BS. Look, I’m not good at IRL romance, but from what I’ve seen in games, love interests get totally peeved when you try deciding things for them! The, uh… fae-immortality thing. Have you ever even talked to them about it?”

» That made Lilia pause. Well, he supposed he hadn’t really mentioned it to you… but he’d always assumed based on what he’d heard from so many others that you’d believe the same. Before he could respond, Idia continued.

» “And like, OP immortality stuff aside, that last line is a total lie. Are you really fine being stuck all friend-zoned? Can you handle someone else sweeping them away from you? And in the future, what if you aren’t even close? I doubt losing the route is better than, I dunno, trying?” Idia mumbles. Lilia takes a moment to process before letting out a bright laugh.

» “You should speak your mind like this more, Idia,” Lilia mentions.

» “In person? Uh, yeah, no way.”

» The conversation sticks with him, though. Idia is right. Lilia can never possibly know how you feel unless he confesses to you. Even if the future may be uncertain, the thought of losing you— of no longer having you by his side— wasn’t worth it. If confessing meant he’d have a chance to stay with you for the rest of your life, then he’d risk it.

» He’d never met anyone as kind, caring, and understanding as you. Not only did you listen to his many stories from his lifespan, you never doubted any of it for a second. You always give his cooking a try even though you know it’ll be less than edible, but you never judge him. You give him pointers, help him in the kitchen, and dutifully support him in his improvement. Sometimes, you’ll cook for him when he’s a bit too tired to give it another shot.

» You happily joke with him, tease him, compliment him, and spend time with him without a care for what his status used to be. When people warn you of “Diasomnia’s Powerful Vice Housewarden,” you look the other way. You don’t see his titles, his power— you just see him. You adore him not because he could crush you in an instant, but because you’ve become friends with the playful fae that he is.

» In his entire life, he’s met very few people as kind as you. However, you’ve been the one of the only ones to see and embrace all sides of him. Whether he’s fighting for his loved ones, or on stage with the rest of the Light Music club— you accept him.

» In the past, he’s made the mistake of letting go of the ones he loves. Because he thinks it’s better for them— because he feels that he’s dangerous or a dealbreaker. This time, he’s determined to do things differently.

» He wants it to be your choice. You’ve respected him and his choices, so he owes you the same treatment. This time, it’ll be different.

» He’ll confess to you properly and hear your answer. He just hopes it’s the one he also wants to hear.

♚ say the words !

» Lilia hasn’t properly confessed to someone in ages. He isn’t above asking for help should he need it, but it’s more of a matter of who to ask. Surely not his fellow Diasomnia members— they didn’t have as much romantic experience. Idia’s knowledge extends only to virtual games, so eventually, he settles on asking his clubmates.

» When he presents his issue, he’s surprised to find Cater gaping at him, Kalim equally as shocked. Just as Idia had, they assumed that you were already dating him. (Just how many people thought this?)

» After their shock subsided, Cater was more than happy to assist, along with Kalim. Lilia’s courting knowledge was vast, but much of it was outdated. He didn’t want to scare you off, so he wanted to learn some of the more modern methods of courtship.

» Though, both of the suggestions he received fell flat. Cater suggested a very Magicam worthy date, while Kalim suggested a carpet ride of sorts. They both offered to assist with their respective ideas, but Lilia couldn’t accept. None of it felt right. While he was sure both ideas would impress you, it didn’t feel authentic.

» As much as Lilia loved to tease, he wanted this confession to be serious— to be personal. He didn’t want to pretend to be someone he wasn’t. Eventually, he asked Silver for help. Surely, he’d have some insight considering how well he knew Lilia.

» “Have you considered just using one of the methods you already know, father?” Silver asks with a tilt of his head.

» “I’m afraid all of my methods are rather outdated for this day and age, Silver,” Lilia muses. Silver responds with a small sigh and shakes his head.

» “So? They know who you are already, right? Even if the method’s a little outdated, it’ll be true to yourself. They’ve gotten to know you, so I doubt they’d expect something modern anyway,” Silver finishes. Lilia’s eyes widened and he smiled. Of course, how could he forget?

» You already knew of his vast experiences across countless years. Perhaps, trying to adapt to a modernity he was unfamiliar with simply wasn’t right. He’d confess to you in a way that felt true to him. He was certain you’d understand.

» Eventually, Lilia settled on something true to his Briar Valley roots. Rather traditional, but it was still romantic to him. He’d enchant a briar rose, wrap it in the twine from a spinning wheel, and seal it in a glass case. Then, when the moon was high in the sky, he’d present it to you. Should you return his feelings, the rose would live on. If not, it would wilt away.

» The story such a tradition originated from resonated with him. Someone beautiful and bright falling for someone considered a monstrous outcast. It was quite touching. He wasted no time in gathering his materials, going as far as to travel back home for a moment to find the most beautiful rose for the confession.

» Once finished, he enchanted the rose, imbuing it with his magic— his wish to be with you for the rest of your eternity. Then, the briar rose was tied with twine and sealed away into the glass case. With a smile on his face, he waited as night fell, then sought you out.

» Luckily, your light was on, though dim through your window. Tapping lightly on the glass, he tested to see if you were awake. The sudden noise startled you, but you knew only one person who could possibly visit you this late at night. And enter through your window, no less!

» “Lilia? It’s late, why are you here?” you question in a hush tone, moving to the side to allow him entry into your room. He slips in, grinning as he presents you the rose.

» “As is Briar Valley tradition, I can only present this to you at night. I hope you don’t mind the intrusion,” Lilia says, watching your expression carefully. Your eyes widen as you take the encased rose, observing it closely.

» “It’s beautiful. What’s the occasion? Did something happen?” you ask with a light laugh as you scan the flower. Before he can answer, your eyes widen as you seemingly put the pieces together.

» “Wait… you’ve mentioned this. This is a Briar Rose, right? The string wrapped around it… the glass… Briar Valley tradition— ah! Are you…?” your voice trails off as your face flushes. Lilia merely grins, eyes glinting with mischief.

» “Am I what, dearest?” he questions with a teasing tone. You shake your head and laugh, covering your face a bit.

» “Is this… a confession?” you whisper. Lilia’s eyes soften and he approaches you, placing his hands over yours as he peered into the glass at the rose.

» “How observant. You really do listen to me! This is a confession. I’m terribly in love with you. You’ve invaded my every thought before I could think to stop you! So I’ve decided to tell you. I know my nature can be a bit… alarming, but I wanted to tell you anyway. Silly, isn’t it?” Lilia says softly.

» “It isn’t silly, Lilia. And of course it’s mutual. For as omnipotent as you tend to be at times, you’re a little clueless, aren’t you?” you respond with a warm laugh. Lilia looks at you and tilts his head.

» “What do you mean?” he asks.

» “I’ve liked you for a long time now. Have you ever noticed my advances? I don’t treat you like I treat my other friends, y’know! Plus, the whole immortality thing doesn’t scare me… no part of you ever could,” you say. Lilia processes for a moment before beaming with a sharp grin.

» “Oh really? You’ll be stuck with me for quite some time? Are you truly ready to have such a cute, wonderful partner for the rest of your life?” he teases. You merely smile, placing the rose to the side. Pulling him into a tight hug, you gently nod.

» “I’ve been ready for quite some time now. I’m more than happy to call you mine.”

» Lilia melts into your embrace and lets out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding in. All of his memories of you come flooding into his mind. He’d been too afraid of judgment to notice at the time, but now he could see it— the way you reserved your brightest smiles for him. The way you’d gently lean into his side when sitting together— even the way you’d watch after Silver on his behalf.

» You’d loved him for quite some time, and now he could finally say that you were his. He’d have you by his side— and he could look towards the future with no regrets, knowing you’d be there.

♚ at last, with you !

» After you two officially start dating, Lilia acts more or less the same, however, in addition to his usual teasing, he becomes a lot more comfortable being openly affectionate with you.

» Are you walking beside him? His hand is intertwined with yours, then. Just sat down with your friends for lunch? Expect him to hug you from behind and kiss your temple as a greeting. Are you having a study session? Well Lilia’s there, leaned against your side and resting against you as you work. Lilia loves affection, so he gives you plenty of it.

» While he usually initiates any affection, if you ever initiate it first, it makes him incredibly happy. If you reach for his hand first, or greet him with a kiss, he always gets a wide grin and teases you about it. He’ll joke that you actually do love him, and that you must be head over heels for him to initiate such sweet affection. Once he manages to get your face to flush under his relentless teasing, he’ll let up and ask you to do whatever affection you initiated again.

» With how touchy he is, it’s only natural that people find out that you two are actually dating now. Because of your increased presence in Diasomnia, Silver, Malleus, and Sebek are quick to find out.

» Silver and Malleus are entirely supportive. Silver can visibly see how happy you make his father. Lilia spends less time alone nowadays, so Silver doesn’t have to worry about him as much anymore. He knows you’re a great match for Lilia given how much you care for him. Plus, your cooking is easily much better than his dad’s, but hey! Your presence has also made Lilia’s food more tolerable, so Silver’s content.

» Malleus is glad that Lilia’s found someone who respects him, but also accepts his more peculiar aspects. It’s something Malleus often struggled with himself, typically only having Lilia to turn to. In you, Lilia has found a partner, but Malleus has also found a cherished friend. You respect him, invite him out, and listen to him just as you do with Lilia. With such a kind soul, it’s only natural Lilia was drawn to you. So long as you two take care of one another, Malleus is certain that it’s a bond that’ll last a long time.

» Sebek is a different story. He’s at war with his internalized hatred against humans. He wants to respect Lilia’s choice, but he struggles to understand why at first. So, at the beginning he’s weary— closely watching your every move. Instead of finding flaws, he comes to realize why Lilia chose you. You don’t use him for his power, you engage with him and his hobbies, and you even watch after Malleus and Silver. With time, Sebek warms up to you. Of course he does! Perhaps, not all humans are bad. You’ve certainly proved that to him.

» His dormmates’— well, family’s approval is all that Lilia needs to know he’s made the best decision possible for himself. You fit right into his small family, as if you were always meant to be there. You fit right into his life, actually.

» You’re always in the crowd during his Light Music club performances. During the Magift tournaments, you’re in the crowd, cheering his name. Even when he finds himself busy with schoolwork, you’re there— sitting across from him as you work on your own assignments. He’s become so used to your presence in his daily life, but he does love dates with you, as well.

» Designated time to spend with one another. Naturally, he very much enjoys spending time alone with you. More often than not, you two have date nights in. Playing games, watching movies, staying up— it’s all a bit juvenile, but Lilia’s proud of his childish side. Plus, as long as you’re having fun, then it’s worth it.

» He loves those nights so much. Laying side by side after the movies are over, curled up together and having hushed conversation. It’s his favorite. You’ll share your dreams— your aspirations in the dark of the night. Lilia shares his experiences, the things he’s seen that he can’t wait to show you. It helps him visualize the vast future you both have ahead of you— the experiences he has yet to have. It makes him excited, but as much as he wants to see it, he’s content with time passing slowly by your side. As long as he’s with you, he’s happy.

» However, for as much as you two play around, for as much as you both cause chaos together— it isn’t all bright and sunny. Lilia is prone to painful nightmares— memories of his past dredging up and meshing with his recent memories. He’ll dream of losing Silver, Sebek, Malleus— even you— to a war much like the one he’d experienced. During those nights, he’s lucky if he gets even a single hour of sleep.

» You always seem to notice, though. In the morning, you’ll see his tired expression. No matter how much he tries to cover it with a grin, you see right through him. You never judge him or pity him, though. You merely guide him back to his room— school forgotten in favor of a day of healing. You’ll lay him down, remaining by his side as you run your fingers through his hair.

» “I’m here, and you aren’t gonna lose me. We’ve still got a lifetime ahead of us. You can rest. I’ll be here by your side when you wake up.”

» Your soothing words always put a smile on his face. He’ll hold you a little tighter as he drifts back to sleep, knowing that you’ll be there to comfort him should his nightmares wake him up again. On the days that his terrors do startle him awake again, you’re right there— gently rubbing circles into his back as he tells you what he saw. No matter how horrifying the nightmare, your smile remains as you comfort him— assure him that it won’t happen. Lilia will not lose you.

» You’ll always lighten the mood after, teasing him and insisting that he cannot be rid of you that easily. It always puts a smile on Lilia’s face, causing him to quirk a brow and question as to whatever could’ve possessed you to think that’d he’d want you gone?

» After some shared laughter as well as a few playful fights, Lilia manages to relax, night terrors long forgotten in favor of your warmth and comfort.

» Your comfort is so important to him. Of course, he loves being reassured that you won’t go anywhere, but it goes deeper than that.

» At NRC, Lilia is regarded as a terrifying fae with extensive abilities. Though he frequently jokes about his age, there are very few who actually believe him. Most think he’s merely joking— thus his struggles often go unnoticed. After all, someone that powerful couldn’t possibly be affected by loss after experiencing so much of it, or, he must be lying! He looks far too young to have been in any sort of war!

» As much as he tends to laugh it off, it gets to him. He’s forced to hold back— unable to express that emotional side of him. All people see is the conniving, teasing third year. If he ever expressed his painful experiences from his past, he’d likely be called a liar. In truth, he isn’t. And loss doesn’t hurt any less just because he’s strong. The sting of loss hurts just as much the first time as it does countless times after.

» And you understand that. You believe him. With a gentle smile and soft affection, you show him that while his experiences have made him stronger, it doesn’t mean he has to be immune to pain or fear. You show him that he doesn’t need to always hide away behind a facade of playfulness around you. You’re always there to listen, should he need the space to talk.

» For that, Lilia is grateful. You’re willing to share his best and worst moments, and you do so without pitying him or doubting him. You love him dearly. Teasing, serious, even a little scary— all are sides of him that you adore.

» For Lilia, that’s important. Because he knows he has a limited amount of time left, and that your time is limited, as well. For you to be so willing to dedicate that time to him— it’s quite beautiful.

» And with whatever time Lilia has left, he plans to do just the same.

» For you are the very embodiment of the future he hopes to live. And so long as that briar rose he confessed with remains bloomed, he knows that you feel the exact same.

— fin.

#twisted wonderland fanfiction #twisted wonderland x reader #twst fanfic #twst x reader #twisted wonderland fanfic #twst #twst lilia #twst lilia x reader #lilia vanrouge #lilia vanrouge x reader #twst headcanons #winnie-writes #winnie-wishes

[unclewaynemunson]

Pt3 to this au that’s getting waaay longer than i planned it to be | full version AO3 link

Eddie had a problem. A big problem. A problem named Steve Harrington, a problem who had signed up for weekly guitar lessons with him – a problem who furrowed his brows and slightly opened his mouth when he was concentrating, who had perfectly manicured fingers stroking his guitar, who ran a hand through his gravity-defying hair when he got nervous or frustrated, who blushed every time without exception when Eddie complimented him on his progress.

'He has a child, Nance!'

'So? He's single, isn't he?'

'I don't know that, he might be lying about that, too! He never mentioned his fucking daughter either!'

'Maybe it wasn't his daughter, maybe it was just some neighborhood kid or his niece or something.'

'She looked exactly like him!'

'Okay, but not mentioning something is not the same as lying. He literally said he was single, didn't he?'

Eddie sighed and nodded.

'I haven't seen you fall this hard ever before,' Nancy remarked. 'And he's clearly into you, too. I mean, he started taking guitar lessons because he wanted to see you again – that's really romantic, Eddie! Is it really a total dealbreaker if he has a kid?'

'Yes,' Eddie answered through gritted teeth.

'But you love your kids!'

'That's way different! I see them an hour a week for music lessons, that's not comparable to having a tiny human around all the time, and raising them and shaping their little mind and shit! That's fucking terrifying, Nance, I'm not even a proper human myself! I ate coffee powder for breakfast this morning because the tap wasn't working again, and I forgot to do my laundry so I'm wearing Wayne's old-man tent boxers!'

Nancy choked on her beer. 'I did not need to know that, thanks,' she spluttered.

'Point is, I'm hopelessly in love with a father, and I can never date him, because I can't possibly be a stepfather for the next, like, ten years. And he keeps flirting with me and I can't avoid any of it because I'm locked in a room with him weekly! And he's only twenty and that little girl was, I dunno, I guess three years old, which is concerning, to say the least, so –'

'You don't actually mean that.' Nancy's voice sounded sharp when she interrupted him.

'What?' Eddie shot her a confused look.

'You're not gonna shame him for being a teen dad, that's low.' She shot him one of her mildly terrifying stern glares. 'He probably had an immensely difficult decision to make, and he chose to commit, at a very young age, when it would've been easy for him to walk away and not take any responsibility. That's really brave of him, and you shouldn't judge him for that only because you can't get over it.'

Eddie huffed and took a big sip of his beer. He hated it when Nancy was honest and right.

🎵

He saw Steve again, earlier than expected, on Monday afternoon. It was in between lessons, in the fifteen minutes he had after Will left and before Max would arrive. He put on his leather jacket and headed downstairs for a smoke, and saw Steve and his daughter come out of the daycare center at the moment he reached the last step of the stairs.

Steve froze when he saw Eddie and stared at him like a deer caught in the headlights.

'Hey,' said Eddie. 'Look at that, you got a lovely little family.' It sounded fake to his own ears; he desperately hoped that Steve wouldn't pick up on that.

‘Thanks,' Steve mumbled, not exactly looking too happy to be seeing Eddie. 'This is – this is Rose.' He took a few steps towards Eddie. The girl on his arm had the same soft brown-eyed gaze as her father, and her brown hair was braided neatly, with two brightly colored bows in its ends. Eddie found it hard to believe that Steve would be able to braid like that; there was a woman, of course there was a woman, there had to be a woman.

'Rose, can you say hi to Eddie?' Steve asked the little girl.

'Eddie!' she repeated with a wide smile on her face.

No matter how much Eddie hated to admit it, the girl was really fucking cute. How could he not smile back at her and give her a tiny wave, to which she responded by happily waving back at him?

'She's your spitting image,' Eddie remarked at Steve.

Weirdly enough, Steve grimaced at that.

'I know,' he said. 'Same father, so...'

'Huh, what?'

'She's my half sister.'

His half sister.

Eddie's eyes widened. 'Oh,' he responded, stupidly.

'Yeah, it's um... It's kind of a messy story, to be honest. That's why I never mentioned her, actually. She hasn't been in my life for that long yet. I didn't even know she existed until - ‘ he suddenly shut his mouth, brusquely cutting himself off. ‘Never mind, doesn’t matter.’ He looked as if he felt embarrassed for saying too much. ‘I guess I liked to pretend like everything was normal. With the music lessons, I mean. That it was just us and the music, and nothing else.' He sighed and combed his free hand through his hair, prompting Rose to stretch out her hand and lightly pull at a lock of his hair, too.

He didn't reprimand her, but merely shot her a fond look before he switched his attention back to Eddie.

'Sorry, that kinda made it sound like – like I'm not happy with her or something. But she's actually the best thing that's happened to me in a long time. It's just – it's a lot, you know? I guess I liked having this one place where I could pretend like my family wasn't falling apart.'

Eddie nodded. 'Yeah, I get that,’ he said. ‘I mean, that's what music is for, right? Escapism.'

'Yeah, exactly.'

Eddie got a sense of deja vu from the way Steve kept hovering around, seemingly not knowing what to say but also not wanting to leave, just like that first time they met. Only this time, Eddie felt lost for words, too. It was too much, to see Steve be so gentle and sweet with that girl that he'd assumed was his daughter but was actually his little sister. To see him so full of love and so distressed at the same time, one body full of contradictions. He didn't even know what to think – let alone say – right now.

He turned his gaze to Rose, because somehow, that was easier than addressing Steve directly.

'It was really nice meeting you, Rose,' he said to her. 'You have an amazing big brother. Be good to him, alright?'

She nodded, her eyes wide open and that sweet grin on her face again.

When he looked up at Steve, he saw that the guy was blushing heavily – but the anxious look had disappeared from his eyes, so Eddie supposed that he could count that as a win.

'Hey, um, I really have to go, my arm is kinda falling asleep – which is your fault, Rose, there's nothing wrong with your legs and yet I'm carrying you around like you're still a baby.' The girl stuck her tongue out and Steve gasped dramatically. 'Don't do that! I'll stop carrying you if you do that again. For real, this time.'

She giggled and Steve shifted her onto his other arm, then brushed a hand over her hair.

'Alright, I'll see you on Wednesday,' he said to Eddie, before he turned towards the exit, leaving Eddie still stunned in the hall.

Just us and the music, was the part of the conversation that kept repeating itself in Eddie's brain, like a broken record, again and again and again. Just us and the music. Just us. Us. Us.

Pt4

Tag list: @kardinalkalamity @imzadidragonfly @simpforsauron @undreamingscatworld @nailbatbabygirl @solosnail @theysherobinbuckley  @sharpbutsoft @manda-panda-monium @piningapple @whimsicalwitchm

#don't mind me rambling about stranger things #fruity ficlet #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #nancy wheeler #i saw a chance to spread my platonic edancy agenda and took it #they're besties i won't take criticism #also i can't believe so many people asked to be tagged??? seriously i don't even have words but it's so !!!!!

[9w1ft]

hi anon,

i guess for me, my understanding of i-D being restructured is that it was at a point where it was going to happen regardless of whether or not karlie invested in it. because VICE, the company that owned it, had filed for bankruptcy. actually i think everyone was going to be fired and all of i-D was going to disappear. karlie invested and i-D has been working to make their business model sustainable again, leading to people being laid off.

actually there was a games media site called waypoint, which operated under VICE for several years before it was shut down completely, that i was a follower of, and i frequently listened to their podcasts, and i picked up on a ton of information about how shitty the VICE culture and management is, how they buy things and ruin them through mismanagement and a lack of professionalism, and i picked up on this vicariously through the podcast and by following a lot of the people who were involved in it via social media for many years. this gives a greater context to me about i-D’s situation as it relates to VICE.

so to me, actually, it reads more like karlie stepped in and salvaged i-D, a magazine she cares about and a lot of her fashion industry friends care about, from being lost forever.

i really think people always assume the worst of karlie. some of that is on her because she’s not always the best communicator, but so much of the i-D stuff that people have pinned on her is complete conjecture based on a picture people have painted of karlie of being an inherently mean and evil person. and i don’t think she’s a mean and evil person. i think for a lot of people who are taylor swift fans, we can’t even agree on this point, and so i don’t find it productive to discuss it much in an online forum. but i know there are people like you out there anon, so, i’ll attempt saying a little more.

think of people in your life that you admire, or public figures or celebrities that you enjoy. if you went looking, i guarantee you could find faults in every person. dealbreakers, even. and i bet you haven’t cancelled all of them. so i think this suggests that there is a way that humans make it work.

as someone who has followed karlie for many years now and has watched basically every interview of her and all these moves from her, i feel like i understand the circumstances and conditions that lead up to her saying things or doing things that arent perfect, that are taken the wrong way, that can cause harm, when it’s really not intentional and just karlie being karlie. (i feel the exact same way about taylor by the way)

and for me, i am very confident that if i ever were to sit down with her and talk to her about how i feel about any number of issues that she would see my point of view. or that over time she will find her way. again, i feel the exact same way about taylor. because i feel that i have come to know her and the type of personality she has and i know at the end of the day the things she does are coming from a well meaning place, so it’s more a matter of direction. there are a lot of people in this world where i believe this is not the case and i harbor very different feelings for them.

i dont think this entirely answers your question but this is the gist of what i’ve decided to write.

[lepoppeta]

watched electric dreams 1984

idk if this is because of the (honestly very corny) screenplay or in spite of it but after some thought i really like how genuinely human miles, madeline, and edgar all are.

miles is awkward, clumsy, and kind of mean/unfair. madeline is headstrong to the point of interruption (she barely lets miles get a word in edgewise when they meet at the grocery store) and a bit nosy (she just walks into miles apartment instead of, idk, waiting at the door even if it was open). edgar is petty, jealous, and prone to throwing tantrums.

and these traits dont even come off as the well-crafted negative quirks i tend to see presented in media. i felt more like — yeah, i could see me or one of my friends with one of these behaviors, and when we catch each other doing them we drop a bit of shade and then move on with our lives. its so utterly normal.

initially i was irritated that miles and madeline seemed so incompatible but now i realise that they like each other in spite of their shortcomings and dont find those complete dealbreakers; theyre willing to put in the work for the things they like in each other. theyre just normal-ass people who definitely arent perfect, but that doesnt make them bad people or poorly written characters.

#electric dreams 1984 #edgar electric dreams #miles harding #madeline robistat

[avelera]

Slightly more detailed take on Thor Love and Thunder:

If you don't like it or at least enjoy the experience of the film, IMO, you just want a different movie. Like if Loki not being in it is a dealbreaker for you, welp, c'est la vie, he's not in it and you should go watch the Loki miniseries or rewatch the earlier films.

With Dr. Strange MoM I definitely had things I would have done differently and while it was visually interesting and had some moments I enjoyed, I definitely saw a lot of things I would have altered were I the creator.

I don't feel that with TL&T, it feels like a really uniquely told story, it's a joy to watch, I laughed out loud a bunch.

I think what I found most impressive about TL&T is that it reminded you that MCU movies are supposed to be fun. It's ok to laugh, it's ok to not take things too seriously. BUT, when it was serious, when it asked you to take it seriously, it did so with real-world things that really matter

Ok now I'm going to cut for spoilers:

When it has little kids given weapons to fight, I had a knee-jerk moment of, "Oh great, child soldier military propaganda, again?" But it's not that, the more I examined it. It's acknowledging a few complex things, like that children will not always be safe, but seemed to acknowledge it from the angle of someone who regularly interacts with children: the thing that makes them scared is not being able to fight back. The monsters they're fighting aren't soldiers, they're literally shadow spiders. They're scary but as a little kid I know I would have been much more scared of them were it not for a scene showing that little kids CAN defeat scary shadow spiders. It's not about war being great, it's about being able to stand up to the monster under your bed in a very children's literature sort of way. And that makes it fun too! Kids get to fight shadow monsters alongside Thor and WIN and help save the day! It was serious about the fear and helplessness of children and gave them a real way to fight back, with a child's bunny, not against soldiers and real world adult problems, because Thor as the adult takes care of that, but against the things that scare children in a way that I think I would have found empowering at a young age.

The humor landed for me! The screaming goats made me laugh Every Single Time. I was laughing and having a good time throughout, it was fast paced and engaging and wonderful COMIC BOOK MOVIE escapism.

But when it DID get serious it wasn't asking me to shed a tear over a magic space rock or something. It engaged with the pain of fighting cancer and of having a loved one fighting cancer. It engaged with the pain of a parent losing a child, and of a dying parent fearing they'll leave their child alone in the world. When the story was heavy it wasn't being heavy about the fantasy elements but about the real human elements and it did so in a sensitive and, I think, beautiful way. I heard a woman openly crying behind me in the theater and I definitely got choked up once or twice.

I thought the final moment of the "showdown" was one of the most emotionally intelligent takes on the tired old trope of the hero vs villain battle in the MCU. Why stick around when your loss is assured? Go to your loved ones. Choose love. Thor won by reminding Gorr not of his anger at the injustice of the world, but the love of the person he wanted to share it with. And I'm glad the wish wasn't used for Jane, or anyone else, it would have been OOC for Gorr. I thought the choice he made was beautiful and the moment didn't cheapen other deaths in the MCU by making it seem like there's a wishing well somewhere, but it also didn't make the grim point that loved ones can never come back. The miracle was reserved for a child. One child, who died a refugee in the desert. It's the wish-fulfillment of magic without making a magic wand that will fix every problem. But it was achieved because Thor showed his emotional maturity too and chose what was more important, which reminded Gorr to choose what was more important.

That's about all I've got for thoughts for now, but I liked it a lot, I think more than I liked Ragnarok, and I'd definitely watch it again.

#thor love and thunder #thor spoilers #maggie rambles

[rawliverandgoronspice]

This is not me defending Nintendo's shoddy writing when it comes to heavy parts of the Gerudo lore. But I do wonder if some of their really bad missteps are because of their lack of knowledge of Western racial politics. A lot of Japan is still heavily xenophobic, and racial diversity is almost zero, so they might just not actually think about the implications because they just... don't know they exist. It's not an excuse, because Nintendo IS a global company, and there should be some extra research done, since stuff like that is just really fucking iffy. I'm just trying to figure out where that stuff comes from tbh, and why it's still around, instead of being weeded out. So maybe that's a reason, in which case... maybe get some writers who can write depth into their characters.

Hey, thanks for the ask!

So... I feel many things about this, and I completely see where you're coming from, and I think you have hit the nail on the head about why Nintendo do not feel like handling this issue is necessary, or that it doesn't concern them altogether... but I have to be honest, I feel like we give Japan way too much slack on these issues in general, and it's a very common problem (thinking of the controversy on FF16 for just another recent example, or the way queerness is handled in a lot of anime and games). Regardless of, just, the artistic integrity to incorporate the rest of the world as existing alongside you which isn't... mandatory of course, but I believe is important for the sake of honesty: there are japanese people of color, there exists a queer japanese community, and a lot of immigrants living in Japan have to deal with rejection and being considered a second-rate citizen all of the time. Not to mention anything about the new generations of people who were victims of their occupation not so long ago, a subject which is still regularly repressed and ignored by their government (and by the world at large, the US had interests in quieting down some of the worst things they did due to Cold War stuff, and in the West we mostly focused on Germany and collaboration --which makes sense, it's what we knew, but anyway it's complicated and not the topic). This is not a case of mere innocence, it is a case of politically construed ignorance; which is very different, and should not be regarded as equivalent.

But even beyond their own internal socio-political issues, which I am not qualify to speak about beyond what I know from second-hand stories I heard and what I have personally researched, The Legend of Zelda is an IP that is tailored for the West (TM). It is incredibly more popular here than it ever was in Japan. It is a product designed for export. Trying to anticipate what the western market enjoys and fitting right in is part of their responsibilities as a brand if they want to succeed. So, either they did not consider this aspect, which was absolutely something they should be criticized for, as subjects of diversity are hot and trending right now (even without getting into their moral implication) and they did what I consider to be the bare, cynical minimum in this department; or they had an inkling, and considered their choices wouldn't be a dealbreaker. Which... they clearly were not.

Again, I am sorry to be a little cynical here, but while I certainly don't think Nintendo was being consciously malicious here, like making choices to actively play into harmful stereotypes and strict gender roles as some form of active ploy in some sort of culture war, Nintendo is run by conservative japanese men with capitalist interests and a responsibility towards their own government as a major player for japanese soft power. The company will *never* question its own biases, especially if the West just eats up whatever they do and build a human wall of excuses to justify their absence of accountability. This, beyond the game itself which is good and fine and also kind of soulless the more I think about it (in my opinion), is what depresses me and what makes it hard for me to move on: to give them a free pass on these subjects is a choice everyone is collectively making, because it is the Nostalgia and the Childhood and we are desperate for wonder and joy --and it ultimately makes us somewhat toothless as consumers.

And I want to add I am absolutely not immune to this, and it doesn't mean I'm condemning the practice of fandom or the possibility, or even the necessity, of holding several simultaneous truths about a piece of media at the same time and navigating them depending on what is being discussed; but Nintendo is obsessed with controlling its image as a company, curating things as acceptable or unnacceptable as they see fit, approving or disapproving of their consumers' behavior and punishing them accordingly (as well as the rest of the industry *side-eyes the thirty patents on basic gameplay actions*), and it's to say nothing of how employees may be treated beyond the perfectly curated Pikachu yellow walls. This corporate image of being non-controversial is enforced. It doesn't mean I don't admire them for a lot of things, their genuine commitment to game design innovation, their virtuosity when it comes to level design in particular, the way they foster pools of raw talent, their devotion to open up the market to new demographics of gamers, or for the risk they took with the Switch and the wonderful venues it opened for indie devs. I love their games, profoundly, and I owe the company a lot of my joy.

But again, I think it's important to consider several realities simultaneously; and this joy, this goodness, this beauty, while absolutely wonderful and worth preserving, always runs the risk of getting in the way of our discernment in what is getting sidelined.

#asks #totk critical #zelda critical #zelda fandom critical #nintendo critical #gerudos #thoughts #thanks for the ask!! #sorry if I went a little hard there #a little uhhh Too serious #but I am genuinely a little depressed about how we settle for corporate safety as the epitomy of greatness #mechanical perfection as sufficient in itself #and I don't know how we meaningfully fight this #the structures of power comprised of people who are terrified of their own soul and the capitalist safety they will forever cling to

[shimmerbeasts]

NAME :　Miss Tantabis, usually called Miss T or T for short.

PRONOUNS:　She/Her, might wanna see how I feel about Them.

PREFERENCE  OF  COMMUNICATION: Discord. While I can use the Tumblr IM and use them as icebreakers, I have gotten more used to using Discord nowadays as it is far more reliable.

NAME  OF  MUSE(S): My primary muses are Jinx, Silco and Vi. My secondary muses are Naafiri, Sevika, Vander/Warwick and Kindred. When it comes to my secondary muses, they are not all equal and sometimes one goes more silent while the other one is far more awake. I tend to go where my muses lead me when it comes to replies.

EXPERIENCE  /  HOW  LONG  (  MONTHS  /  YEARS? ): I started rping around the time I finished my A-levels aka my school graduation. That is nine years now. I started on Facebook and forums during these three years when I was in the advanced levels of high school. However, I quickly moved over to Tumblr. I think that was either already in 2014 or at the very least 2015. Though, if we wanna go by writing alone, I have been telling stories since I was six. That means over twenty years worth of writing by now.

BEST  EXPERIENCE: God, this is a hard question. I had many experiences in so many different rp communities. Not all of them were pleasant. However, I believe what I would deem my best experience, is the fact that through rp, outside of meeting amazing rp partners, I also made some very close friends. Some of these people, I have known for years, and they helped me through strife and tribulations. I cannot thank them enough for being the awesome human beings they are. At the same time, I am just so happy with how rpers give me a chance and how they have helped me so much with my ability to world build and finally embrace my own creativity. It may be an ongoing struggle, I still sometimes have, but I know I have people here who adore my ideas and my style and for that I cannot thank them enough.

RP  PET  PEEVES  /  DEALBREAKERS: I think the only real dealbreakers I have are things like blatantly expressed homophobia/racism, etc. Basically, people being dicks. Though that isn't really a surprise and not really RP-related. I think, in that regard, something I really despise is when people try to tell you how to write your blog, your muses, what you curate on your dash. I am not a big fan of one-liners either and normally, prefer multi-para replies. At the same time, if you can give me something to work with and the passion is there, I can also do shorter stuff. I also do not like it if communication does not happen, even though I know I too have to work on that sometimes. RPing is a two-way street and many of my pet peeves relate to that street being disrupted.

MUSE  PREFERENCES  FLUFF,   ANGST  OR  SMUT: I tend to say that I am predominantly a horror writer. Both due to my themes, my choice of characters and my writing style. Because of this, I absolutely love angst, whether that be heavily emotionally taxing angst or gory and violent angst. However, I am not opposed to fluff either, though I prefer if it is coming out of angst. I think that is called hurt/comfort. Smut is something, that while I do enjoy writing it sometimes, is not my biggest strong suit. I can normally only do certain types of smut and even then only with people I trust deeply and where my muses really have chemistry.

PLOTS  OR  MEMES: While I love using memes as an ice breaker just to gauge how our muses would interact with one another and whether our writing style mashes, I am more of a plotting kind of person. I still have to practise this craft a bit more. However, I prefer to have at least an idea of the dynamic we attempt to build with our muses and I always enjoy discussing potential scenes and plots we can do with that dynamic. If we manage to do the proper groundwork, most plots write themselves.

LONG  OR  SHORT  REPLIES: I prefer long threads and replies. I thrive on multi-para to novella roleplays. Threads, which are filled with details and characterisation. I love it when I can really sink my teeth into what has been written and when the reply challenges me to bring forth my A-game. Longer threads keep my passion going and usually make dropping things harder.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: I normally write in the early morning hours or afternoon. I do not think there is a best time to write. I am trying to learn to be able to write at pretty much any time. However, I also always check what I am in the mood for. Or I plan to try to finish specific replies. It does not always work.

ARE  YOU  LIKE  YOUR  MUSE(S): From my primary muses, the one I relate to the most and the one who is the loudest and easiest to write for me, is without a doubt, Jinx. While I may not have psychosis or the tendency to commit acts of murder, when it comes to Jinx's personality like her creativity, her wrathfulness and her tendency to overthink, those are elements, with which I deeply connect. By now I have written Jinx and built her and the world she inhabits in a way, which makes her both similar and different to the version of Arcane. This version of Jinx is very dear to me and in my eyes indeed shares some of my qualities.

Tagged by: @knifvd, @ferinehuntress and @tealsteel

Tagging: @the-rogue-dragon, @thenextchapterbegins, @demacianhcart, @blackrosesmatron, @moxxee, @moxxietude, @hexcoremagician, @jynxd, @powdied

#playground: meme #cat wrangler: out of character

[h-a-unted]

𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐍𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐏𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐀 𝐋𝐎𝐓 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐄𝐑. REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!

NAME : Kuroki (Kuro is fine, too!)

PRONOUNS : I don't mind what I get called, even though I am a girl! I think boys are hella cool, so when I get mistook for a boy, I take it as a compliment instead of an error.

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : Discord and Tumblr IMs!

NAME OF MUSE(S) : Oh boy... I have a bunch on different blogs, but I'll list the ones here: Butcher, Maeve, Frenchie, Lenny, Emma, Travis, Ethan (E3N), Cpt Price, Adler, Alex, Atom, Chris (RE), and Martha (FFXVI). I'm going to add Legion (ME) and Emet (FFXIV) later.

BEST EXPERIENCE : Joining The Quarry fandom, which allowed me to find my bestie Ladybug, while also making it easier for me to join other fandoms and meet more friends who are so special to me now. I never expected to meet so many amazing people in The Boys fandom, so that's another highlight to me.

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : Being pestered for replies. If I'm rushed in any way, shape or form, my brain just shuts down, and I lose all excitement I used to have. It's one thing to be excited for a thread, that's totally fine, but being purposefully rushed or guilt-tripped into replying is a no-go for me. It has happened to me so many times, I already know how it goes and feel it in the air sometimes, even. I want to write at my leisure and to allow others to do the same. I know I take a lot of time sometimes, but if I'm rushed, I won't ever write for that thread/person again, unless I force myself and throw soulless replies that eventually die. But I'm done trying to be nice to that kind of people and then feeling bad for not being able to keep up, so I'll probably stop outright the next time this happens. Fingers crossed that it doesn't.

MUSE PREFERENCES : Assholes with trauma and/or nuance, himbos, and Artifical Intelligence or a human variant of that.

PLOTS OR MEMES : Both! If I can't for the life of me come up with a random interaction, I ask for plot, but I am mostly more than fine with memes to get things going! Both are excellent!

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : Both long and short replies are fun! Sometimes it's easier to throw rapid-shot responses, so I go for small, but other times the muse is high and I want to describe more, so I can go for long. Any of those are fine as long (heh, punny) as I have something to reply to.

BEST TIME TO WRITE : Any time my muse is high, or even when my muse is not that high. As long as I can inspire myself enough, I'm game any time. I suppose I usually write during the noon/afternoon onward.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : I usually like to find something that explains to me why I love a certain character and all that. Most of the time, I think it's just me trying to justify myself or make myself cooler, so I sometimes don't really believe I am like a character more like I want to be said character. Even so, I think Butcher is what I could've been had I not been helped when very young. Maeve feels like kind of a mirror to Butcher. She also seems to think she deserves the bad things that happen to her while showing herself as a really strong, indestructible person, I think I relate to that (and her situation of her romantic orientation and stuff, probably? Idk). Emma's cheery mask, Travis' stoic demeanor during rough situations, also Emma's calm demeanor during dangerous situations... The other characters I just really love for one thing or the other without really relating but probably admiring. And the AIs? I just really adore AIs.

TAGGED BY: tagged by @awkwardcourage (thank you so much!)

TAGGING: @dollhidden @savior-of-humanity @sesyeuxocean @reviresc @rottingkiss @hacker-codeq @arcanumsolitude @phoenix-flamed and anyone else I missed who sees this! Consider yourself tagged and feel free to tag me!

#➹ out of curses ✼ (ooc) #Thank you so much this was funnn! #Sorry it got a little long!

[livlepretre]

Ngl, the torn off face and Elena thinking about wearing did freak me out, and I have never been so grateful for the fact that I cannot really visualize things in my head (hello possible aphantasia) than I was reading it because the mere thought of Elena actually doing that makes me gag, but it made perfect sense to me that Elena just rolled with this and I really think it is the absolute best way of showing what it has cost Elena to be in a relationship with vampires, even ignoring things like the physical dangers that come with sleeping with and existing near essentially-immortal beings who must consume blood to “live” and have super strength and speed: Elena loves these monsters—monsterfucker Elena for the win—and “when is a monster not a monster*” but they’re still monsters while Elena is human and she’s gotta find a way to reconcile what they do with the fact that she loves them, because she’s got a human psyche and I genuinely think it would have destroyed her if she hadn’t found a way to handle what it really means for them to be vampires. If she loved them but hadn’t had her moral corruption, how could she possibly live with the fact that she knows they’re killing innocent people and this isn’t a dealbreaker? I really think it would have annihilated Elena at some point if her moral compass was more like a typical human’s.

*and in FE, the answer to this question appears to be “never, they’re still monsters.” Elena has become a monster in human form

"when is a monster not a monster?"

"never, they're still monsters"

YOU HAVE ANNIHILATED ME THANK YOU THANK YOU I AM OFFICIALLY DEAD

yes, I think the fact that Elena is very much so human and her psyche was therefore under enormous strain dealing with all of this is the real thing-- she just--- adapted. Human beings generally either do, or they lose their minds, when the horrors get dicey. She definitely would have lost her mind. (Or-- she has lost her mind, but in a way that has left her alarmingly high-functioning in her particular circumstances)

#anonymous #fairytale ending

[voidtouched-blue]

GETTING TO KNOW YOU.

respond to the following prompts out of character. then, tag others that you'd like to get to know a little bit better!

ROLEPLAYER NAME: Fox

ROLEPLAYER PRONOUNS: he/she/they (most preferably they or creature. XD)

MUSE NAME: Cyra Lunastra

PREFERRED COMMUNICATION: Tumblr if we're just starting out! But Discord is available upon request!

EXPERIENCE: OOoh boy buckle up. I used to RP WAAAAAAAY back in the day in a chatroom called animechatroom I think (I was like...10 ok). Then I moved from there to GaiaOnline in middle school. And I RP'd in the forums on Gaia until the end of my freshman year of high school where I started on tumblr with my bestie irl. I had a humanized Rainbow Dash blog from MLP: Friendship is Magic. If any of you have been around since then and know me from back then, my url was theloyalrainbow. I took a break for a few years to focus on college, and now I'm back! So over all, roughly 20 years of experience.

PREFERRED ROLEPLAY TYPE: I prefer novella-type RP. No topic is really off-limits for me, but I do adjust my own descriptions and subjects for whatever my partners prefer. My strengths as a writer lie in combat, conflict, and angst. I'm open to writing any and all moments though!

PET PEEVES & DEALBREAKERS: I have a few things to list and explain!

I have a harder time with threads that aren't plotted. They don't have to be super extensive, I just need enough of a direction to go on so that things don't get stale.

I would prefer that we at least chat a bit before actually starting to RP. It hasn't happened to me yet, but I likely won't respond to starter posts that haven't been discussed with me prior to seeing it pop up on my dashboard.

PLOTS OR MEMES: I highly prefer plots over memes! But that doesn't mean we can't meme on the side! Just know that plots will get more attention than memes!

LONG REPLIES OR SHORT REPLIES: As you've probably already noticed, I tend to write fucking novels with most of my threads. I don't expect anyone to ever match my length, but I need something to work with more than a single paragraph or a handful of sentences. I get really excited about Cyra interacting with other muses and I can't help myself when it comes to telling stories.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: Honestly, whenever I'm awake and not playing games or working on art. You could message me at any point in the day and I will respond the moment I see the notification pop up.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSES: I firmly believe that I've taken a few aspects of myself and exaggerated them a bit to better fit my idea of who Cyra is as an individual and using my own lived experiences to help me write her better. Not everything she does is something I would do, and not everything I would do is something she would do. A lot of her personality is inspired from multiple sources, but her desire to help people is one thing that is definitely derived from myself. If anything, Cyra is more like my cats than me. XD

tagged by: @altosk [I'M A WHOLE DAY LATE AND A DOLLAR SHORT BUT HEY I'M DOING IT NOW RIGHT?!?!]

tagging: @phoenix-flamed, @taleswritten, @luposcainus, (since my usuals are already tagged, feel free to do this if you see it!)

#dash memes #[fully a day late for munday but it's whateva]

[queenharumiura]

GET TO KNOW NEO

name — Neo and on some other blogs An-chan

pronouns— She/her

preferred comms — I get webhooks alerts to replies and asks, and tumblr very rarely alerts me to ims, but it is available to those who prefer communications via tumblr. Discord is the most reliable.

name of muse — Haru Miura on this blog and many more that i'm too lazy to list out on other blogs.

experience in RP — Around 16 years I think. Crazy as it is, I started out on Quizilla when you used to be able to message people. Then I moved to a proboards site when a friend invited me to join one she created. Was there for a long time. Dabbled a bit in RP'ing with a group on DeviantArt. Did a bit of skype rp from there. Then I moved to tumblr rp. I may have attempted to dabble in discord RP and ye- it's not exactly for me, but I can do it. I hate feeling limited though.

best experiences— Any iteration of: "You know, you made me change my mind on how I see Haru." Truly, the biggest serotonin boost I'd ever need in life. This is my goal in life. What I aspire to do with my writing. Not RP, but I got a Haru hater to like Haru after reading a few of my fics years back. You thought you were going to hate read and give hate? Jokes on you, I OPENED YOUR EYES.

pet peeves/dealbreakers — If you've reposted fanart without credit nor permission and i've talked to you about it and you dismissed my concerns about reposting fanart, i'll instantly block you. It's in my rules for a reason. Tho- I suppose that's just breaking my rules so maybe it doesn't count as a dealbreaker?

Not necessarily a peeve but more of a turn off, but I really don't like it when someone has the repeat energy of 'No one would want to rp with me, I don't see why I bother,' 'Did anyone miss me? No? Okay' etc. It probably sounds petty of me, but I don't like it. It dismisses the efforts of those who have been trying to connect to you, and I come onto tumblr to have fun, so I don't want to come here and feel bogged down. The energy actually disheartens me and brings my own mood down because I end up sympathizing with them too much. For the sake of my own mentality, I end up distancing myself.

muse preference ( fluff, angst, smut ) — I enjoy fluff and angst a lot. Smut... depends... on the muse... and relationships... and how comfortable I am with the mun. I'm big shy in general so it can take time to warm me up to talking about smut in regards to muses. Once I'm used to talking to you about it and i'm comfortable with you, i'm pretty open about it. Truly, I'm big on troll humor though, so crack humor kinda threads really have my heart. If you wanna talk smut with me, you gotta be the one to bring it up because 99.5% of the time, it won't be me bringing it up first.

IF we aren't shipping, then you better hope one day I even reblog a risque meme for you to inquire about it. I'm a lil wary about talking about it to begin with.

plot or memes — Plots, as some of us know that i'm not very keen on memes as my relationship with the inbox is not positive. Still working on it though, one blog at a time. Memes are fun when i'm in the mood for them. This goes for reblogging them or sending in to people.

long or short replies — Both are fine with me, and both are great in their own right. Long ones are nice as they give you a lot to explore but it also takes a while to reply to and it can tire me out. Short threads are short and simple. They're nice, and then you get me being suddenly inspired and whoops- suddenly it's a long thread. (short replies = 3 paragraphs in my mind).

best time to write — I'm finding myself to be more active in the night hours, so the PMs. I do tend to be high inspiration in the AMs, but i'm usually at work or low energy. So that's when I spend the time thinking of what i'll write and then stow those ideas for when I do have the energy.

are you like your muse?: I've been told that I'm very much like Haru, and it's mostly in some habits, i'd say. Haru is a way better human than I am. Fit for life. I, a dehydrated prune is not fit for life. We both share our troll heart, our tendency for conspiracy thoughts, dramatics, speaking in third person and such. Basically, consider me the unhealthy introvert AU for Haru.

Tagged by: @ryuusake

Tagging: I don't tag

#Ryuusake #Tagged meme #About Muneo

[chipped-chimera]

💀

I kind of really, really fucking hate I'm lonely again. Post relationship-of-10-years-blowup from my deeplore I've gone two solid years of just not wanting any of that shit and I could focus on healing. I was content. Because of my fucked energy capacity and autism I get tired by irl social interaction so quickly so it was fine anyways. I don't have a super high social need most of the time and usually chatting with people online is enough.

But after realising more things about myself in terms of sexuality, in really realising maybe it was women all along I might have been interested in (idk still not 100% on it - I really worry about the difference between sexual attraction in my head vs irl and that if I get there it's gonna be 'Well shit guess I'm still grey ace' which I'd hate actually. I wanna have fun too!) It's twisting in my body like a knife. And I don't want it. It was in a way, easier to feel dead to it. Easier to not have a hope in hell - I know parts of it is trauma but it's just been the way I protect myself, I don't 'get my hopes up' about anything anymore. I don't plan anything beyond 6 months because I feel like every time I do get my hopes up about anything some malevolent force in life is going to come along and violently throw me back down. And I'm scared of that. I am really, really fucking scared that the next time? Maybe the next time I won't be able to handle it anymore. I don't want to feel like a soldier in endless combat with my own life. Every battle 'victory' feels phyrric and I don't know if I'll win the war anymore.

But there's always a tiny, quiet hope in there. And that's what is turning into the knife that cuts through me when I consider reality. I know I am not an attractive partner, physically maybe I'm okay. But who I am as a person? I have too many 'dealbreakers'. I am a ruined human being in the eyes of the social status quo. I'd probably be seen as too 'dependent', too 'lazy', too much. And not enough at the same time. And it fills me with a visceral kind of rage that none of this is my fault. Everything that has broken in me, was done to me, gladly by others around me.

I don't want the hope. I don't want the lonliness. I was happier feeling nothing.

I don't want to be hurt again. I just want to be loved.

#ventpost #ableism #trauma #I'm trying hard to heal and stay positive #Im trying so fucking hard #but the only way I can stay positive is if i cut myself off from things on purpose #because when I feel them again? when I feel hope? #its agony #fucking absolute agony

[blindrapture]

I was extremely tired and rambled to a friend about Mario and Sonic as mascots.

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:01 PM] also. I am marginally upset that Yoshi in Mario Wonder is playable but only as a Nabbit-style character, with no power-ups. but at the same time I am kinda happy as Nabbit is my preferred way of playing NSMBU, so I'll get to do that as Yoshi now. but. best world would have been if all characters were the same as each other and there was just an Easy Mode toggle.

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:03 PM] I am always gonna be curious about trying to play through a Mario game as intended. and admittedly the fact that I am forced to play as Mario or Luigi (or a Toad) has been a significant reason why I could never commit to it. getting a choice to play as Yoshi is a big, embarrassingly substantial, incentive.

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:03 PM] if I could play as Yoshi in all Mario games I'd play them a lot more, I think.

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:05 PM] I think I actually secretly don't care about Mario. or Luigi. as playable characters.

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:05 PM] they fall into the Sora trap for me.

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:06 PM] where, like, Kingdom Hearts would probably appeal to me way more— it has, as a franchise, everything in its favor for my tastes— but for the fact that you have to play as FUCKING SORA

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:06 PM] and this isn't a "oh, it'd have been cooler if I could have played as some goofy mascot character," this is a "oh that's a shame, I don't want to play this"

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:07 PM] like Playstation Exclusivity, which is also a "oh that's a shame."

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:07 PM] ("Playstation Exclusivity," to me, is exactly the same as "game didn't release")

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:08 PM] (it's a shadow-cancel. game still has marketing. still gets talked about. game was finished, by the developers, is entirely playable. you just can't play it.)

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:09 PM] (and this is coming from a guy who didn't have VR when Half-Life Alyx came out!!! VR exclusivity is not as much a dealbreaker to me as Playstation exclusivity!!!)

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:09 PM] (but the Playstation point is beside the point.)

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:10 PM] (the point is, Sora and Mario are both a really specific kind of Regular Guy character I am turned off by.)

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:13 PM] (they would be fine— they would be immensely hilarious and compelling— if their Regularness was played up. I mean, they are Regular Guys in a world of Cute Mascots. in Sora's case it's even more so, the whole point is Kingdom Hearts brings a charming amount of Seriousness to a world of Cute Mascots. Sora being there makes Goofy more serious, makes Donald more serious, and that makes the tone fucking surreal and Amazing.)

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:15 PM] (but they only went halfway. Sora still looks just slightly cartoonish. I mean he looks, frankly, fuck ugly and awkward, but I can tell he's not supposed to, he's supposed to look charming and representative, appealing to kids. if Sora looked like…. like the humans in Mario Odyssey's Metro Kingdom!!!!! then I'd be okay with it!!!)

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:15 PM] (and the same with Mario!!!!)

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:16 PM] (fans often wish the humans in the Metro Kingdom looked more cartoony. I'm the opposite!!! I sincerely wish Mario looked like them!)

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:18 PM] (it's a tonal thing!!! Mario's a human, a Regular Guy in a wacky world!!!! if he looks cartoony then that takes away from the fact that he's a Human!!!! he's not a Human, he's just a non-mushroom Mushroom Kingdom Fella! he fits in! which is alright if the story says that!!! but it doesn't!!! the story is, Mario is a Human!!!! but the art style and presentation says he's not!!!!)

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:19 PM] (this is the core of why "story doesn't matter in Mario" gets as much mileage as it does!!!! this is why Miyamoto can get away with it!!!! it is rooted in this fucking tonal dissonance!!!)

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:20 PM] (because it's only a dissonance for the story!!! it's otherwise professionally-executed aesthetic consistency!!!!)

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:22 PM] (but it doesn't win me over!!!! I cannot unsee it!!!! I can forgive and excuse it, there is so much about Mario games that I can love, it outweighs it!!!! but then when I have to play as Mario…… that's when it becomes a factor!!!)

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:24 PM] (and for the 3D games, I am usually looking at Mario's back, and how my brain works is really I'm "playing as" the camera. Mario's just a means to an end, I move him so I can move the camera. so I can look at everything else.)

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:24 PM] (but 2D games, Mario is front and center in a different way.)

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:24 PM] (also Mario 3D World.)

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:25 PM] (I can forget Mario in the sandbox 3D games. I haven't yet figured out how to forget Mario in the 2D-based games.)

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:27 PM] where was I going with this one.

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:29 PM] well I can stress here that I'm feeling out my own tastes. I cannot claim any of this is actually objective. not even the bit about "this is WHY story doesn't matter in Mario." I am not coming from a rigorously analytical point of view here. I can very easily be off the mark on all of this.

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:40 PM] thinking about it, I may be onto something with Mario. the Sora thing is much more just my personal taste.

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:44 PM] but Mario. Mario isn't average-looking enough for the Idea of him to appeal to me. the Mario movie on the other hand, that handled it well. Mario was an outcast to the humans. he was mocked, he was clearly doing his own thing. that's why he still looks goofy, for a human.

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:44 PM] if the games follow the movie's approach, I can warm up even more to it.

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:45 PM] that adds context. that tells me why Mario stays in the Mushroom Kingdom. it's not just "Peach is in danger and Mario has a sense of Duty," Peach being kidnapped becomes a pretext for "Mario gets to spend more time in this crazy world, and he likes being here, he feels it fits him in some way."

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:47 PM] just. y'know. up until now, with just the games to work with, I've had no reason not to see it as "Mario is The Everyman. he is the Average Dude who doesn't fit in here, exploring the wacky Mushroom Kingdom, in over his head."

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:47 PM] which just. that doesn't…. feel right!!! with how Mario looks!!!

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:48 PM] (and acts!!! Mario isn't in over his head!!! he is the hero we count on!!! he is the reliable savior!!! he runs and jumps in a world that requires running and jumping!!!)

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:51 PM] …..and that also gets into my view of Sora. Sora isn't in over his head. he looks like he belongs there. yeah, he doesn't fit the art style of the Disney worlds he visits, but guess what, it's a mega-crossover, the art style changes frequently, you get used to that mismatch!!! Sora's "difference" blends in!!! because he still fundamentally looks like a cartoon!!!

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:51 PM] contrast all this with Yoshi! or Sonic!

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:52 PM] Yoshi is the ideal Mario game protagonist, because Yoshi is from the world he's in! Yoshi has an excuse to look cute and goofy!

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:53 PM] Yoshi in real-world situations then looks funny! Yoshi in the realistic Mario Party games! that's funny! a wholehearted laugh! Mario in the realistic Mario Party games looks funny at first but then you start thinking about it and it's like, hey, he's supposed to be a human, this isn't supposed to look funny!

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:53 PM] and Sonic!!! Sonic is just… aesthetically on-the-ball!!!

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:55 PM] his own world is all cartoon characters and cartoon animals! he fits in! the Adventure games have realistic humans, Sonic looks out of place, but he's supposed to! and then Sonic 06 takes it to an extreme but that game's story is Actually A Fucking Masterpiece and the more you put thought into it the better that mismatch gets!!! Sonic becomes a walking metaphor! the story isn't about Sonic, it's about everyone else!!!

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:57 PM] what about Eggman!!! let's contrast Mario with Eggman, as that's more relevant! Eggman looks strange next to realistic humans, so why does he get a pass? Eggman gets a pass because he's a well-defined villain character! he's such an extreme example of a human! he's fucking nuts and if he looks ridiculous then he comes packing heat and forces you to respect him!

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:58 PM] if Mario carried a gun and acted edgy, that'd actually be better, aesthetically!!! he'd be a lot less popular a mascot, but as a character, I think he'd be seen more like Waluigi!

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:59 PM] who is also Legit!

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:59 PM] …………Waluigi has never carried a gun, no, and he doesn't ever act like a serious villain, no

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 4:59 PM] but Waluigi is closer to Eggman on this "ridiculousness spectrum"

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 5:00 PM] put Waluigi in the Metro Kingdom and the mismatch makes more sense! people will laugh at Waluigi looking so different from normal humans, but then they'll laugh harder and say "well, he's Waluigi."

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 5:01 PM] Mario gets less of a laugh!

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 5:02 PM] maybe what I'm trying to say here is "I find it difficult to care about Mario because I can't help but feel like Nintendo doesn't really care about Mario. Mario is just a mascot, an excuse, an enabler."

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 5:04 PM] and that ultimately brings me back to Sonic 06 again. my theory of why the story is so fucking good. Sonic looks jarring next to Princess Elise, everyone knows that, but most people just stop there because it was a rushed game, they don't feel they should put more thought into it. I do. I mean, I don't even think Sonic Team intended for the extra thought I see in it, but that doesn't matter, because the line of thought makes the whole game better without requiring fixing the game.

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 5:08 PM] that is. Sonic looks jarring to Princess Elise, in the same way that Mario looks jarring next to Metro Kingdom humans. because that's what it is. it isn't Mario And Peach. it's Mario And Some Metro Kingdom Woman Who Was Sheltered Her Whole Life And Mario Is The First Person To Ever Care About Her So She's Developed A Naive Infatuation With Him. imagine that scenario. Mario doesn't reciprocate, but he also doesn't not reciprocate. he doesn't do anything. he's not a deep enough character, and that's Okay, that's his Thing. he's literally just a Mascot. he would say platitudes like "You Can Do It, I Believe In You" and "If You Have Time To Worry, Then Run!" and she'd treat it all like he's Prince Charming saying completely personalized things to her.

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 5:10 PM] imagine that. in that scenario, the point of the story isn't Mario. the point of the story is the One-Sided Infatuation. a good story would go above and beyond, go out of its way, to explore that Infatuation, not through giving us tons of examples of it, but through showing us where it comes from, what it's a side-effect of, what the consequences are of that greater Reason. Sonic 06 does exactly that.

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 5:11 PM] Sonic 06 shows us a goddamn tragedy in Princess Elise. it brings gender into it, it brings class into it, it even brings religion into it.

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 5:14 PM] Sonic 06 is all about a Realistic Woman who has to bear the responsibility of never crying, whose entire life shapes itself to keep her away from things that might cause that. and she FUCKING DIES. she tries to count on Sonic to save her, and he LITERALLY CAN'T, he FAILS, she DIES and Eggman dies too!!! how the FUCK do people not find this INCREDIBLE??? imagine Mario!!!! imagine it!!! imagine Mario doing that!!!!

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 5:15 PM] then Sonic himself becomes a greater point about Mascots, about Fiction, about the Responsibility That Corporations Have.

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 5:17 PM] Sonic has a responsibility to protect Princess Elise, to let her be infatuated with him, to brush that off and just run in a field with her and let her have that moment. he looks ridiculous doing it, and he knows it won't work out because he's always gotta run off somewhere else in the end, but Sonic has a responsibility to live in the Now, to Protect people in the Now! that is the position a corporation is in when a corporation creates a Mascot!

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 5:20 PM] and in the end, in the very end, the end of the story, the only actual way out of the nightmare Hate-God time loop is…. to make the whole story never happen! to forget it! it's like Sonic Team knew the game would be a failure, knew gamers would hate the story, so they gave us an Out! "hey. this game isn't canon. we're cutting our losses and will try something else from now on. the game just didn't work out. but in exchange, you've gotta let us have this moment Here and Now, you've gotta let Sonic 06 exist in its own little space. you've gotta let us run in a field with Sonic."

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 5:21 PM] "because we still put a ton of work into this game, and we had ambitions with it, and it's perfectly fine for you guys to forget that, but we can't. so let us have this moment."

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 5:22 PM] that's!!!! that's what I get from the game!!! just from Sonic's story specifically, at that!!! Silver and Shadow each have their own themes and they're fucking brilliant too!!!

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 5:22 PM] that's what I see in it!!!!

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 5:23 PM] that's what Mario exists in the shadow of!!!

Jordan Dooling, [9/2/23 5:23 PM] raaaaaaaaaaghhhhhh!!!!!! I fucking rambled!!!!!!

#my rambles #sonic #mario #maybe one of these days i'd like to arrange a great big “My View Of Sonic 06” thing. but that'd take a lot of work. #and i have spent my whole life scared of how people aren't gonna accept it anyway. #but i have *thoughts* about mascots. sonic spoiled me for them. sonic raised the bar to the moon. #and odyssey can't lie to me. mario can't reach the moon yet.