#remembering how i fucked up jos ‘right now!’ in the verses both times and was just soooo happy

[munamania]

um i miss them i miss queer joy and the gay churchism of being at a concert etc i miss being in a room with them and a bunch of other dykes

#apparently did not take a vid during the last concert but #remembering how i fucked up jos ‘right now!’ in the verses both times and was just soooo happy #full body laughing with lydia and naomi started laughing too and could’ve been unrelated but we were like you know one row back #so it felt like a Moment. and everyone WAS out dancing!! #:((((( #i better get tickets to that stupid ass music fest in october that i do not have money for rn #this song was also christened for me when. so i remember after the phoebe concert. first of all long ass day and so much walking #to and from the venue i was EXHAUSTED. slept for like an hour then my roommate at the time had people over soooo wasted in our living room #barely slept any more after. got up the next morning making myself breakfast. this bad boy comes on cause i’m listening to about u #all the way thru for the first time. and i just start SOBBING. it was a release #abby talks

[dracharenae]

𝐏𝐄𝐎𝐏𝐋𝐄   𝐈'𝐃   𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄   𝐓𝐎   𝐆𝐄𝐓   𝐓𝐎   𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖   𝐁𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑   : 𝟎𝟏 .    𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐒  /  𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄   :   my penname is jo, after jo from little women, who was a huge role model for me growing up. she is my goddamn  Q U E E N. my real name i’m not too enthused by so irl i go by an array of nicknames, which also includes jo, so technically it’s a penname and a real name. 𝟎𝟐 .    𝐁𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐇𝐃𝐀𝐘   :    february 24. 𝟎𝟑 .    𝐙𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐂  𝐒𝐈𝐆𝐍   :     pisces. i’m a FUCKING FISH. 𝟎𝟒 .    𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓   :     5′8″ and a half. i’m a tol gorl. 𝟎𝟓 .    𝐇𝐎𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐄𝐒   :     writing, procrastinating, horseback riding, reading, making my friends smile, editing, baking, cosplaying, sewing, crafting, collecting miscellaneous things. i.e., star wars funko characters, action figures, comic books, plushies, etc. i’m a grown ass woman who loves her some plushies, COME AT ME. 𝟎𝟔 .    𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄  𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐑  :  i’m a bitch who can’t choose. i fucking love teal, black, soft green, and pastel pink. those are the color combos which are chef’s kiss. 𝟎𝟕 .    𝐅𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄  𝐁𝐎𝐎𝐊   :     it varies, but for now i’ll go with a storm of swords, which is the third book in a song of ice and fire and was a book that goddamn destroyed me. i finished that book in, i think, four days because i couldn’t put it down.  𝟎𝟖 .    𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓  𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆  :    montero by lil nas x, which is a fucking BOP. 𝟎𝟗 .    𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓  𝐅𝐈𝐋𝐌  /  𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐖  :   for show that would be iron fist, because my dad just started watching it and he likes watching those shows with me ( since i can answer most marvel based questions ). and film wise that would have to be snyder’s cut: justice league, which is a fucking masterpiece and i have sobbed and obsessed uncontrollably over it. 𝟏𝟎 .    𝐈𝐍𝐒𝐏𝐈𝐑𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍  :   so back in either 2014 or 2015, i started writing this little story about rhaenys targaryen for no other reason than i wanted to, because i had always loved the idea of “ what if [ blank ] never died ? ? ? ” when it came to fictional and historical figures, and the character just always stuck with me.  particularly, i saw a picture of naomi scott and knew she was rhaenys. but i didn’t understand role-play culture at the time and naomi didn’t have any resources in that era, so i just stuck to my fanfics and used her face as my fun little story cover. but my character and plot-based inspiration for rhaenys stems a lot from history. one of my favorite historical eras is actually the romanovs in 1918, as well as the mythos surrounding anastasia’s alleged survival ( which was debunked in 2007, i believe ). i grew up watching the 1997 animated film, so those ideas definitely influenced my portrayal of rhaenys, minus the amnesia. certain aspects of anya’s character exist in rhaenys’, such as her no-nonsense attitude, her level of sass, and her wit. but in terms of historical impact, the romanov duchesses weren’t actually treated like princesses and didn’t have the most high-end lifestyles that we translate to royalty in modern day. and furthermore, i take into account general royal life also translated from the tudor dynasty, such as in how unpredictable and often life-threatening princess elizabeth the i’s childhood was, as she was often subject to banishment and being hyper-aware as to her friends and enemies at court. despite the glamorous nature of princesses, which are details which translate more in rhaenys’ verses where rhaegar lives and becomes king and she is a princess in king’s landing. but it also has an impact on her views in her default verse where she’s trying to avenge her family and reclaim the iron throne. but also on a similar historical note, i draw a lot of rhaenys’ ptsd, her general trauma, and her fear of madness from soldiers, which i’ve gathered from various film, book, and real-life portrayals on people who have fought in wars. in the books, rhaenys is killed at three years old, so in my portrayal she is saved at three. i don’t know how many people have met three year olds, but i have an array of nieces and nephews, and i can assure you that three year olds remember the hell out of shit. they forget nothing. so while rhaenys does not have entirely vivid memories of her past and what escaping king’s landing was like, the same way someone older would remember something traumatic, she does recall those smaller details which exist as nightmares and echoes, and there are triggers which ignite them. and there’s also the idea of survivor’s guilt ... basically, i could go on for hours over the various inspirations which have helped me craft rhaenys, and i might make a giant ass post of every single influence one day, but the gist is: rhaenys is a melting pot of historical, personal, and fictional based influence. and me being gay for naomi scott since 2014/2015.

𝟏𝟏 .    𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘  𝐁𝐄𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐃  𝐔𝐑𝐋  :   so i knew that i wanted to have DRAGON and PRINCESS in my url, but i wanted it to sound unique and, sighs, pretentiously poetic and ~ aesthetic ~. so i went to google translate and i basically went through these words in various languages until i found a translation which felt right for what i was looking for. i am 87% sure that i settled on latin for both and combined the two, but i can’t remember and, tbh, i lack the energy to fact check. i’m tired, okay ? ? ?

𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐄𝐃   𝐁𝐘   :   i lost who tagged me and i’ve tried to look through my notifications but i lost it and i’m so sorry, i am THE WORST. 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆   :   @radishflower, @gevivella, @thebcstofus, @kinginthcsouth, @stormbcrn, @artificiallyimplantedmemories, @rcsegilded, @ncrthernkxng​

#tαg чσu'є ít ( tagged memes ) #nσt α drαgσn ; вut cєrtαínlч α sαlαmαndєr ( ooc ) #ѕєnd α rαvєn ínѕtєαd ( queue )

[drivingsideways]

Based on this excellent post and tags  by @frankdelfino, and thanks to @rain-hat yelling in the chat window for twenty minutes, here’s a not-fic outline in the universe where Jo Yeong and Jo Eun-seop are actually brothers. 

So here's how this goes. This is RoK verse, monarchies are passé, thank you for coming to my TEDtalk.

- Jo Yeong and Eun-seop grow up middle class, and look like peas in a pod, have completely opposing personalities and can generally be trusted to get up to the WORST POSSIBLE SHENANIGANS ever known to a pair of long-suffering parents who've had the temerity to have not one, but two sets of twins. Anyways, Eun-seop is absolutely the one GETTING them into the shenanigans, and Yeong is the one getting them OUT of it, despite the fact that Eun-seop is older by 4 minutes

-Eun-seop loses a year at school when he gets into an accident at 14; a drunk driver, a bicycle, and Yeong just a little too far away to do anything but call the ambulance and hold his brother's hand right until they force him to let go as they rush Eun-seop into surgery. He holds it again, once he's wheeled out, and right upto when he wakes up so he doesn't wake up alone (he hasn't gone home in 48hrs, I'm fine, thanks eomma, you should go home to the babies, they'll be scared without you.). Anyways, Eun-seop wakes up, demands to know whether he'll have a cool scar from the surgery (before he demands to know whether he will be able to walk again) and Yeong's like you're never going to be as cool as me, now shut up and sip this water slowly.  Eun-seop recovers, and Yeong's there through every single physio session and taking extra notes in class, and recording videos surreptitiously, so Eun-seop can see how all their classmates are faring and also failing at everything, now that they're in first year of high school. (Yeong would have stayed back a year at school, but Eun-seop forbids it, and uses his Oppa-pass, which he only uses when he's really serious about something, so Yeong has to listen)

- Eun-seop notices that some of his videos begin to feature a rather weird looking dude, who can be seen hanging out with this one girl. Eun-seop knows Tae-eul noona, her dad runs that taekwondo academy two blocks away, right? And there was that one time when Eun-seop was being bullied and Yeong wasn't there that day, and noona had stepped in and scared those assholes away. Anyways, so yeah, he also remembers that there was this other guy with her, who'd also clearly been ready to throw down, if those goobers had put up a fight, but later, he just grabbed noona's hands, checked for injuries, and given Eun-seop some candy that he got out from his bag.

Anyways, so Eun-seop is like why do you have pictures of Tae-eul noona and her weird boyfriend, and Yeong snatches the phone away and mutters, THEY'RE JUST GOOD FRIENDS, in all caps as though he knows anything about life or girls.

Oh my god, Yeongie, he says, you know she's way out of your league right? She's a senior? And like would absolutely beat you to shit, wouldn't need her weirdo bf to do it either-

HE'S NOT HER BOYFRIEND, Yeong says, loudly this time, as loud as the time when Eun-seop had replaced his hair cream with toothpaste and Eun-seop quickly recalibrates and gets it right this time, and he says, hushed,  Yeongie, my Yeongie, did you manage to fall for the one dude who'd give you a run for your money in "the person most likely to end up a serial killer" stakes?

He starts cackling so hard that his ribs start to hurt, and then his back, and Yeong (who's run away – RUN AWAY) doesn't come back to help him up. It's alright, Eun-seop will live, and also, he's gonna help his Yeongie get his guy, even if Eun-seop cannot see the attraction, and he thinks this isn’t going to work for many reasons, only one of which is that CLEARLY this dude- Kang Sin Jae, he remembers now- is in love with Tae-eul noona, which, props, anyone might see she absolutely kicks ass.

But the point is, the Jos are fighters, and he's damned if he's going to let Yeong slink away from this one.  

The next time he sees Yeongie- two hours later- they all have a bedtime in the Jo house, ok- he's like, fine, I'm sorry, and I KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE A SINGLE USEFUL THOUGHT IN YOUR HEAD, so I got this for you, ok?  What do you know about him?

Turns out, Yeongie has a whole folder on him.

Eun-seop's proud of his little stalker baby brother.

Anyways, that's how Yeong learns enough about sound systems so he can turn up for the post when the school band that Kang Sin Jae plays bass guitar for advertises for a sound engineer.

He turns up for the "interview" in his neat trousers, and button-down shirt and Sin Jae says, uh, are you Jo Eun-seop's non-identical twin? Aren't you just a freshman, do you really- and Yeong says, quietly, confidently, I can solve that problem you're having when you play your arrangement of The Wizard and Sin Jae stares at him and mutters, but can you do anything about how only three people turn up to listen, and Yeong tilts his head, and says maybe? Also, Eun-seop and I are identical, just fyi.

Anyways, yeah he fixes the faulty wiring in the speakers at the auditorium, and also gets more than three people to turn up (so what if it's all a bunch of scared looking freshmen? They've all been paid more than enough to bang their heads in time to the music and cheer later.)

But he never does ask Sin Jae out, that entire year, even though these days, Sin Jae smiles when he sees him, and puts an arm around his shoulder sometimes, after a practice, what are you waiting for, Yeongie, did I raise you to be this much of a coward? Eun-seop wails, but Yeong is like, Sin-Jae-ssi would feel awkward at having to refuse me if I did, and he needs a sound engineer more than a boyfriend, and that's fine.

(He needs at least three shirts more, a hair-cut and perhaps better taste in music, Eun-seop thinks, but doesn't say, because he knows Yeongie's fragile like that. Yeongie can take anything anybody says about him, personally, and will brush it off or dole out appropriate punishment, but if someone comes after someone he loves, he'll break the knees of the person and leave them for dead in a ditch. And obviously, he can't do that with Eun-seop, so Eun-seop doesn't say anything, he's a good elder brother.)

- Sin-jae and Tae-eul noona graduate and both of them go off to KNPU, and Eun-seop says, listen, nobody does that if they're not dating, at least. IF NOT ACTUALLY ILLEGALLY MARRIED. Yeongie, please, for the love of god, find a boy who's available. See, here's a list.

But Yeong just shrugs, and says, let me see your homework (because Eun-seop's back in school now) and then proceeds to put red slashes through everything and says, "apply your brains Eun-seop, don't act dumb when you're not". THE AUDACITY.

Yeong never dates anyone through high school, Eun-seop dates a different person every month.

- So Eun-seop is never going to have to serve in active military duty, because of his accident, but Yeong will have to. He's fine with that, and he'd rather do it in these two years, just after school, because that way, it's only really one year when Eun-seop will be at college before him, and that's fair, it evens out Yeong's having to graduate from school first.

-So off he goes, and there he meets Lee Ji-hun, who's an ass, Eun-seop clocks that straight away, born into some goddamn chaeobol family, but for some reason drawn to actual military service, because he has a hero complex. The only good thing he has going for him, as far as Eun-seop can tell, his that he took one look at Yeongie and decided that he was the best boy in the whole universe, and that shows good taste, Eun-seop will be polite to him, fine.

- Of course, the other thing that happens in those two years is that Yeongie gets brainwashed into joining the Navy- it's not brainwashing, Yeong tries to tell him, I get to protect the people I love, the country I love. And of course, Lee Ji-hun, fucking asshole, is just sitting there, nodding along as though any of this was fucking REASONABLE. You could DIE, Eun-seop yells, DO YOU REALIZE THAT. WE'RE STILL AT FUCKING WAR.

Yes, says his stepford-wife brother, womb-sharer, soulmate, exactly.

- Anyways, off Yeong and Jihun go to join not just the Navy, which would be bad enough, but the ROKSWF, that's insane, they're going to die, and what can Eun-seop do then but go join the NIS and immediately get picked for North Korean Affairs by an astute senior officer who listens to Eun-seop goofing around in the canteen on the orientation day and still get everyone to give him their portion of the only decent thing on the menu- the crème brulee- and says, I'm taking that one.

- It's a lot of paperwork and dull as ditches monitoring work at the start, and that's ok, Eun-seop can live with that, it means he gets time with the other twins, who are at a fun age. And that's how Tae-eul noona and Kang Sin Jae re-enter their lives because Eun-bi and Kka-bi are learning taekwondo from Tae-eul's dad. This is also how Eun-seop meets the love of his life and future wife Myeong Na-Ri, and it's ok if she doesn't know it yet, at least Yeongie is not here to see him turn into a complete doofus everytime Na-Ri so much as breathes in his direction.

- Yeongie and Jihun come back on shore leave (AFTER TWO GODDAMN YEARS) and that's when Ji-hun meets Tae-eul and falls like a ton of bricks for her; she manages to keep her sense of balance and also life in order, thanks, she's not going to fall for some floppy haired dude (his hair grows really fast out of its crew cut) who thinks that parallel universes are a thing, even if he has extremely long legs.

Meanwhile Kang Sin Jae has also cleaned up nice, Eun-seop will admit, and he's-he's a genuinely nice dude, ok, even if a bit brusque, and when Eun-seop finds out about eomeonim's gambling problems and that whole story, he's willing to admit that he may have been a tad harsh on Kang Sin-Jae way back when.

Anyways, that's the past, right, Yeongie, I can't imagine what a bunch of men locked in a submarine can possibly do except have orgies, please tell me that's what you've been doing? Please?

"Shut up" hisses Yeong, and then practically jumps out of his chair when Tae-eul noona and Sin Jae come over to their table at Na-ri's coffee shop. Yeong's in his uniform- he was on his way back from some conference thing he'd had to go to despite his leave- so that was the saving grace, because Eun-seop sees the subtle double-take Kang Sin Jae does,  because let's face it, his baby brother is the most beautiful, it's true, but then Yeongie is also red in the face and says "toffee" instead of "coffee" as in "Won't you get some toffee, Sin Jae-ssi?" and Sin Jae gives him a blank look while he decodes that, (gay panic, Eun-seop wants to tell him, my brother is a panicked gay, go easy on him), and finally says, uh, I don't think they have that flavor here?

- God, Eun-seop says later, I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU, BABY BROTHER. HAVE YOU BEEN IN LOVE WITH THE SAME BOY FROM HIGH SCHOOL? ARE YOU STILL A VIRGIN? (AFFIRMATIVE ON BOTH) and Eun-Seop has FAILED, FAILED, FAILED. Alright, he says, taking a deep breath, how long do you have?

Two weeks, says his stupid fucking brother, and so Eun-seop has to go into EMERGENCY-FUCKING-MODE because he may have to DIE getting it to happen, but his baby brother is GOING TO GET LAID, AND BY THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE, EVERYONE'S FIRST TIME NEEDS TO BE SPECIAL OK, Ji-hun? Ji-hun nods, very seriously, and proceeds to describe his extremely un-special first time, and Eun-seop is like, wow, you probably don't know this, because you've got that puppy face that make people not want to hurt you, but every single woman you've ever slept with has faked an orgasm with you. Well, that discussion gets pretty heated, of course, and also comes to an abrupt end when Tae-eul noona pops in- she's come by to ask if they all wanna hang out and watch a movie this weekend- and look, noona's GREAT, and obviously the first person he needs on his ally list as soon as he makes sure she's not really in love with Sin Jae, because that would be bad.

"Hyungnim?" she says, surprised, when he asks, because Eun-seop knows the best way to get noona to answer anything is to play no games, and she says, "No, why?" and then, suspiciously, "Did that rat Jihun put you up to this?" And he says, absent mindedly, no I was asking 'cause Yeong, and noona yelps, "Jo Yeong can't be in love with me, shit!" and Eun-seop says, what, why, and that's how he finds out that hey, Kang Sin Jae may also have been a little into his idiot brother from way back when. "He was too young" Tae-eul noon confides, "Sin Jae didn't feel right about it, especially when he was graduating that year" and honestly, THIS IS THE SADDEST STORY EUN-SEOP HAS EVER HEARD AND HE'S WATCHED TITANIC FORTY TIMES AND CRIED EACH TIME OK?

- RIGHT. So maybe Eun-Seop and Tae-eul manage to get their idiot friend and brother a little push in the right direction. Well, noona basically goes to Sin Jae and says, for fucks sake, ask the poor boy out, I heard he's still a virgin for you.  And Sin Jae goes red in the face, and then green, because omg the PRESSURE, and then red again, and then ultimately does find Yeong one day at the coffee shop alone, as Eun-seop had assured him he would be - (Diligently reading some book? A recipe book? Italian recipes? Sin Jae may have mentioned one day that his favourite cuisine was Italian?)- and there's some part of him that melts, like the cheese on the cover of that recipe book, and he's like, uh, do you, maybe, and then rushed, I know this great Italian place, if you like, and yes, Jo Yeong would like very much.

- Jo Yeong returns to Jinhae Naval Command very much not a virgin, and Jihun returns still single, but undaunted by the task ahead of him; don't worry, Yeong-ah, he says, confidently, I'll wear her down, even if it takes me years, and Yeong knows Jihun, he knows how much of a barnacle he can be, and also it wouldn't be nice of him to shit on other people's happiness just when he's found his own, so he nods and says, yes, of course, and even listens to Jihun rhapsodize about Tae-eul noona's everything for about two hours straight. He texts Eun-seop at the half-way mark- kill me now, please-and Eun-seop is like, what's North Korea there for, then, I told you to dump his ass in the sea. But of course he won't, Jihun and he are ride or die, and it turns out dying is more likely in this case, because right about that time is when North Korea decides that it needs to remind the world that yes, they exist, and yes, the men that rule them are crazy fucks.

- What happens is this: Koo Seo-Ryeong is a brilliant pianist, who's one of the few DPRK citizens who's let out to see the world has disappeared with her mother and sister, while she was on tour in Australia. And look, she did it in Australia, it has nothing to do with RoK, except that Kim Jong-un has decided that it has, because her (estranged) father happened to be one of the top honchos in  DPRK military brass, and this was all clearly a conspiracy hatched across the border to get at him and the military secrets he knows.

- Eun-seop is there when the news comes in that there's a Sang-o class submarine in the waters at Jeongdongjin, and he's also there when it turns out, that yes, hello, they were trying to get the Koo family out, and he's also the one that gets a single line text from an unknown number that's the code he made Yeongie swear on everything they held dear that he would send if he was going behind enemy lines. Shit. Shit.Shit.

- OK, I confess, I don't know how this next part goes, reader, because I am not John Le Carre or whoever, and this is still NOT-FIC,  BUT SPY THINGS HAPPEN and at the end of the day, Eun-Seop has to choose between saving his brother and letting the Koo family back into the hellhole they'd just managed to extract themselves from, and listen, noona made him listen to Koo Seo-Ryeong's playing ok, and there's- even if she were a shitty musician, even if she were just some rat bastard politician or a fisherwoman- he knows he can't make a choice that is sending her back to her death, and the deaths of everyone she loves. And if he did, and if he did, just to save his womb-brother, his true love, his soulmate, his blood and bone and heart- why, he knows that Yeong would never forgive him, Oppa-pass or no. So he's gotta rescue Yeongie and save the Koo family AND STOP WORLD WAR THREE, good thing he's totally up to the task.

- MORE SPY THINGS HAPPEN AND HE SAVES THE DAY, OK.

- He does, and so this time he gets to be the rescuer, and honestly, this was a big one, and it totally evens out all the 15 million times in their entire lives that Yeong had rescued him, what does Yeongie think? Yeongie thinks he should shut up and let him sleep, and because he's a good oppa, the best oppa, Eun-seop curls around his baby brother in their too narrow bunk bed, just like they did when they were sixteen or ten or five or in the womb, and goes to sleep too.  

#the king eternal monarch #blood brothers and soulmates ftw #jo yeong #jo eun-seop

[porschekittisawasds]

simply cannot believe i made a supernatural fic rec list in the year 2020 but here we are

When Worlds Collide

When Zachariah dies, the illusions he’s created die with him.  But before they collapse completely, sometimes they collide. That’s how Castiel goes from cradling Dean Winchester’s broken body one moment, to finding himself face to face with Dean Smith in the next.

note: basically endverse!cas’s world collapses right after endverse!dean is killed by lucifer and he gets thrown into the it’s a terrible life verse. drama and love and a whole lot of fuckery ensue. it’s tagged as major character death but it’s not really

Broadway Musical

This is the day that marked the Holy and Blessed Union of Dean Winchester and Jo Harvelle.

The merging of prominent bloodlines is always a grand occurrence, but breeding pedigree hunter families like Winchester and Harvelle is something to be rejoiced. It is also something to be meticulously planned, which thankfully the Host is very good at.

note: an AU where dean and jo are destined to fall in love and have two sons who will bring on the apocalypse and be the vessels for michael and lucifer. only problem is cupid’s arrows don’t make them fall in love with each other and heaven promptly starts freaking the fuck out so cas slips into a vessel and tries to do some matchmaking to get the whole end of the world thing back on track. it’s tagged as unrepentant crack and that pretty much sums it up, but it’s also a very funny and enjoyable read

a turn of the earth

Dean’s your typical half-orphaned, monster-killing 22-year-old until a trenchcoated stranger crashes into his back windshield one September night, claiming he’s an angel that knows him from the future and that he’s on the run.

Frigging fantastic.

note: listen i LOVE a good time travel fic

How (thanks to Gabriel) Dean and Castiel (accidentally) raised each other (and Sam)

In which, Gabriel meddles with the time line and Castiel becomes Dean's angel rather sooner than intended.

note: after lucifer stabs gabriel in hammer of the gods, gabriel uses his very last bit of grace to travel back to the beginning of time and decree castiel the angel of thursdays and dean winchester. fast forward a few eons and castiel hears mary’s dying cry. he shows up too late to save her, but he decides that a human life is very short in the grand scheme of things so he can play guardian angel to dean (and by extension sam) while also fulfilling his duties to heaven. not only is this pretty much my favorite supernatural fic, it’s also one of my favorite fics in general

The Shattered One

When it struck Castiel, he was in mid-flight. It dropped him out of the sky like a sparrow buffeted by gale-force winds. Castiel set down the first place he could find. He ended up standing in a field in Switzerland, swaying on his feet and staring down at his body, dazed by what it had just done.

note: okay so listen. this is tagged as mpreg but that’s kind of a stretch imo. it’s not like... mpreg mpreg in the sense that it deals with angel reproduction and has nothing to do with sex or pregnancy. angel reproduction goes like this: a section of an angel’s grace will suddenly and randomly break off and begin to grow on it’s own. after a certain period of time, another angel has to offer a piece of their grace and the two pieces will combine to form a new angel. that new angel is a fully developed, fully functional angel and is considered a new brother/sister instead of an offspring.

cas’s grace shatters which means he’s fucked because this takes place in season 5 after he’s defied heaven. no other angel will offer up a piece of their grace so his own is basically going to rip itself apart, killing him in the process. when dean and sam find out cas is going to die, dean offers up part of his soul in place of another angel’s grace. what results is a new angel that has just enough human in it that it takes the shape of a human baby and sends pretty much all of their lives into a tailspin.

ALSO just a heads up this is definitely more pre-destiel despite the relationship tag. there’s a sequel where im pretty sure they do get together but i haven’t read it so i cant’s say for sure.

Kiss You When It’s Dangerous

When his partner Uriel, betrays him, Federal Agent Castiel Novak is saved from becoming a ritual sacrifice by brothers Dean and Sam Winchester.

note: FBI!cas gets thrown headfirst into the supernatural. tagged as major character death, but again it’s not really

My Roots Take Flight

After forty years in Hell, Dean’s more than willing to accept the offer: become a guardian angel and earn his freedom. But his new ward seems destined to hunt alongside Sam, and there are secrets in Heaven that the angels don’t want found out. Dean’s going to have to choose between his duty and the people he loves- and to work out just where Castiel fits in.

note: season 4 au where dean is an angel and cas is a human except it’s way more complicated than that

Peace and Good Luck To All Men

Christmas in the Milton household was difficult enough without the added complication of guests- and if Luke and Gabriel placing bets on who can get with Sam first wasn’t bad enough, then Cas developing a ridiculous crush on his sister’s boyfriend definitely is. 

note: the one where michael, lucifer luke, gabriel, anna and cas are all human siblings but michael and lucifer luke are still trying to kill each other, gabriel is still Like That and cas is still super into dean which is pretty inconvenient considering he’s with anna.

Asunder

Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Matthew 19:6) 

note: it’s been a very long time since i read this, but from what i remember it’s an AU where they’re all human and dean brings his friend/co-worker cas as his “date” to sam and ruby’s wedding for moral support. when sam was in college, he met ruby and they started using drugs together. after several failed attempts at helping him get clean, dean eventually cut sam off and it’s been years since they’ve spoken. even though sam and ruby are now both sober, dean blames ruby for everything that happened and the only reason he’s even going to the wedding is because bobby and ellen basically force him to. again, it’s been years and years since i read this so i can’t remember a lot of the details, but i do know that despite this being a dean/cas fic a lot of the focus is dean rebuilding his relationship with sam and that’s what i remember really liking about it.

Hanged, Drawn, and Quartered

Death brings Sam back — sort of.

note: a general fic involving only sam and dean. sam’s soul is so damaged from its time in the cage that when death brings it back, it shatters into pieces and so does sam. like literally. there’s four different sams now, each representing a distinctive part of his personality. sounds cracky but it’s actually surprisingly angsty and focuses on how the sams and dean are adjusting to their new reality and each other

Point Pleasant

(okay so this fic was deleted but i’m putting in on here anyway because the author has since turned it into a novel and had it published. im sure old pdfs of the fic are floating around but i highly recommend reading the novel version. if you know it was based on a destiel fic then it’s really easy to see those influences in the writing and the characters but it can stand up on it’s own. also!!!! it has pretty much the coolest take on the mothman’s origin story that i’ve ever heard.)

Ben Wisehart (Dean Winchester) grew up in the idyllic town of Point Pleasant, West Virginia. An early encounter with the supernatural shaped his worldview and served as the catalyst for his career as a bestselling horror writer. Thirteen years after abandoning his home, Ben returns to the town to investigate the apparent reemergence of the terrifying creature responsible for his childhood nightmares. In Point Pleasant, Ben is confronted not only by the town’s resident monster, the Mothman, but also by his former best friend, Sheriff Nicholas Nolan (Cas Novak). Together, Ben and Nicholas (Dean and Cas) uncover the mystery of the monster in the woods and discover that the ghosts that haunt us are sometimes made of flesh and blood. And sometimes, they lead us home.

Sympathy for the Devil (and Dean Winchester)

this is not so much a rec as it is a request.

basically an au version of season 5 (and kind of the whole series really). when god cast lucifer out of heaven, he tore out his grace. lucifer’s grace was put into the cage, but lucifer himself fell to earth and spent thousands and thousands of years reincarnating as a human. his latest reincarnation? dean winchester. so when sam opens the cage, lucifer’s grace is released and dean realizes that he’s lucifer. part of him still kind of wants to start the apocalypse but the other part of him has a whole new appreciation for humanity considering he now remembers every human life he’s ever lived. it’s made more complicated by the fact that dean (/lucifer) doesn’t really want to tell anyone that he’s apparently the devil so he has to keep his now angel status on the dl and also because despite heaven wanting the apocalypse to start, michael went missing from heaven shortly after lucifer was cast out and no one has any idea where he’s at.

this fic was deleted, but if anyone happens to have a pdf copy let me know. i would be highly appreciative!

#listen i read a lot of spn fic back in the day so im probably leaving a lot off this list #but these are the ones that i remember years and years later #also i just realized these are basically all AUs lmao #destiel #destiel fic rec #supernatural #supernatural fic rec #spn #ficrec

[newcaptainofsquad9]

So, When Can We Tell The World? {2} Min Yoongi x black! fem! reader

Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 

Pairing: Yoongi x reader

Summary: Yoongi follows you to your room, bringing up his proposition about you going public again. You bite back, trying to hold back your emotions while you and Yoongi’s argument builds until you two get some unexpected  visitors.

Genre: Angst(lot’s of it in this chapter, my goodness), Fluff, Romance, Idol-verse, Smut(none in this chapter)

Word Count: 1, 850

Author’s Note: I’m glad you guys are enjoying this fic! Let me know if you have any BTS or EXO requests!

Shooky stares at me with that wide eyed, agape mouthed expression that only a BT21 plush can send. I stare at him (they’re genderless, but I call mine he) with that adorable smile and furrowed brows, he doesn’t remind me of Yoongi, yet in subtle ways he does. The way he get’s excited sometimes reminds me of how the tiny cookie like character bounces, and the way he smiles is just as endearing as well. The thoughts of Yoongi made me hold Shooky tighter against my chest. How could he not understand why going public would be a bad move? God, just thinking of what could happen makes my head spin. 

“Hey, you all right?”

I tear my gaze away from Shooky and towards my bedroom door. Yoongi leans against it, hands stuffed into the pockets of his sweats as he gazes at me with a close eye. 

I nod against Shooky and turn away from his piercing gaze. 

“You don’t look it,” he says, “and why are you hugging on him so tight, you’ve got me remember?”

I scoff his mumbling while sitting up completely. He steps over to the bed, sitting so that there’s enough space between the both of us. 

“Yeah, but Shooky never catches me off guard,” I say, “he just lets me hug him, he didn’t make me anxious.”

Yoongi sighs. 

“I didn’t mean to make you feel that way,” he admits, “I just thought we should talk about being official.” 

“You keep saying we,” I say, “but you still aren’t getting why I can’t do it!”

I rise, taking Shooky up with me as I start for my door, making Yoongi groan.

“Y/N, Y/N c’mon,” he groans, “talk to me, please?”

He grabs my elbow and I freeze, glancing over my shoulder to catch his saddened face. How can I resist it? No matter how fed up I am, I have to hear him out, we’ve got some time to talk things out we should do that. 

“Ok,” I say, “I’m going to talk and you can’t say anything tell I’m finished, is that all right?”

Yoongi nods before reaching for my hand. 

“What are you doing?” I giggle. 

Yoongi shrugs. 

“If Shooky can be in your arms, could I at least hold one hand?” he asks. 

I roll my eyes and nod, tucking Shooky into the crook my arm before taking his hand. He leads me back to the bed, allowing us both to sit with enough space in between again. I let out a breath as Yoongi traces my knuckles with his thumb. 

“Yoongi, I,” I pause, “I need you to understand that going public will bring up many issues.”

Yoongi purses his lips, conflict drawing up on his face, yet he honors my request and remains quiet. 

“Sure, you love me, hell the boys do, which surprised the hell out of me!” I admit, “but the rest of the world won’t.”

“But it’s not their place to,” Yoongi murmurs, “we’re all that matters.”

I shake my head and squeeze Shooky tighter.

“It’s not that simple and you know it,” I growl, “I can’t believe I have to spell this shit out for you!”

“Then fucking do it!” he shouts, “you’re blowing this way out of proportion!”

I nearly squeeze the stuffing out of Shooky, my blood boiling at his accusation.

“Yoongi, I can’t fucking deal with this right now,” I whisper, “not when you’re acting dense right now.”

I get up and Yoongi is already up with me, grabbing my arm this time. 

“Spell it out then!” he declares, “I want you to just talk to me!”

“I thought it was fucking obvious but apparently it wasn’t!” I snap, “I’m black that’s number one! Number two I’m not a God damn idol!”

Yoongi deflates a bit, but still reels on.

“You’re still a public figure,” he says, “and you shouldn’t give a damn about what they say, they’ll talk Y/N! Just like with Kai, Jennie and Chen it all blew over eventually.”

I bit down hard on my lip, trying to hold back the tears that start to form. My head bobs down in a feeble nod.

“Yeah it did,” I say, “but do you know the common denominators in their cases? They’re Korean Yoongi! you and me are different culturally. Your precious ARMY and the people and South Korea will make my life a living hell if we come out like this.”

The moment my words come out, Yoongi’s torn. He’s not holding back tears like me, but a combination of shock and disbelief. 

“Is that really how you feel?” he asks, “do you really believe they’ll do that?”

I swallow hard, yet nod. He can’t sway me this time, I’m being realistic about this. 

“Yes, I do,” I declare. 

Yoongi shuts his eyes, finally allowing a wave of silence to wave over the both of us. I wait for his next words, yet they don’t come, thank God. I need to cool down, somewhere away from him. My feet move, bare feet padding against the carpet fast. Words disrupt it’s rhythm, coming out quick, low and rough. I turn on my heels just as fast to see Yoongi with his head in his hands.

“What was that?” I ask. 

Yoongi shifts his head up and shakes his head. 

“Nothing, just-”

“Yoongi,” I growl, “don’t start this.”

Yoongi purses his lips. 

“Y/N-”

“I let you know what’s on my mind,” I say, “you should do the same for me.”

Yoongi scoffs. 

“Ok, fine,” he grumbles, “you say you love me, but I’m having a hard time believing it now.”

The tears finally break from the dam, rushing down my cheeks freely. My hands shake, Shooky along with it as my vision blurs. Yoongi’s up, walking toward me. 

“Y/N-”

“I can’t, just leave me alone!” I shout.

I throw Shooky at him, causing him to flinch as the plush hitting his chest catches him off guard.

“I didn’t mean it,” he says. 

“Well then what the hell is it supposed to mean then Yoongi?” I ask.

He opens his mouth, closes it and tries again. 

“I-”

He gets cut off as both of us jump at the sound of the doorbell ringing. My heart hammers against my chest, I don’t remember inviting anyone. My gaze goes to Yoongi who’s closer now.

“I-I invited the guys,” he says, “thought it’d be nice to all hang out.”

I manage to laugh through the tears. 

“Of course you did.”

“I can tell them this isn’t a good time if-”

“No,” I say while wiping my tears, “I’m fine, I’ll let them in.”

I move out the room and down the stairs, Yoongi right on my heels, making me overwhelmed again. 

“Y/N, let me,” he says. 

“Yoongi, it’s my house-”

“I know, and I fucked up, just let me,” he mutters. 

He’s talking and moving so fast that he’s already down the stairs and peering up at me. 

“Fine,” I say, giving up. 

Yoongi gives me a tiny grin. 

“Stay right there! I’ll have the guys meet you here!” he says.

I stay and watch as he rushes over to the door, opening it quickly. 

“Yoongi! hey!” Namjoon greets. 

I can’t help but giggle as I make sure the tears are gone. The guys make more and more noise as I descend to meet up with them.

“Y/N!” Jungkook shouts.

“Hey Jung-”

My words are lost as he hugs me tightly, lifting me off the ground with ease. 

“K-Kook, please,” I beg, “you’re squeezing me.”

Jungkook grins sweetly before putting me down. 

“Sorry Y/N, I’m just so stoked!” he gushes, “we haven’t played Tekken in a year and I’m looking forward to showing you how much I’ve improved!”

I chuckle.

“You sure you can handle it?” I ask, “last time I beat you at a first to five you whined the entire day.”

Jungkook nods eagerly as Jimin throws an arm around his shoulder. 

“Of course our golden maknae can,” Jimin says, “but I wouldn’t mind watching Y/N kick your ass again.”

“Ah! Y/N’s not kicking anyone’s ass until she’s eaten!” Jin scolds. 

He’s holding a plastic bag with groceries in one arm, while RJ is tucked under his arm. 

“Why’d you bring him?” I ask, pointing to RJ.

Jin grins. 

“Well, I’m glad you asked,” he says, “he’s for you, you seem to have enough Shooky, and I thought you’d want to spice things up with a fluffy alpaca.” 

“What’s wrong with Shooky?” Yoongi grumbles.

Our eyes meet for a moment. He offers a warm grin, one that I ignore for Jin’s gift. 

“Thanks Jin, he’ll go great with Shooky,” I say, “Kook, set up the Xbox, we can start soon.”

Jungkook’s face brightens, nods and runs off to the living room. 

“Where’s my hug?” Taehyung mumbles playfully. 

“Mine too,” Hoseok mimics with a bright grin. 

I only open my arms as Taehyung steps over eagerly with that boxy smile, along with Hobi. Jimin beats them both with a smug look, making both the members frown. 

“Jimin! C’mon!” Taehyung groans.

“You got to be quicker than that!” Jimin notes.

He squeezes a bit, looking down at me with concern.

“Mh? Y/N, are you ok? You usually hug me right back,” he says. 

I look over to Yoongi, our eyes meeting again prior to moving elsewhere. 

“Nothing Chim,” I say, “I’m good, ok?”

Jimin’s concern stays, yet he doesn’t pry, which I’m thankful for. Taehyung however does. 

“You sure?” he asks. 

“Yeah,” I say, “guys, just, uh go help Jin in the kitchen.”

Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok all stare blankly at me before at Yoongi, and then back at me. 

“You heard the lady!” Jin calls from the kitchen. 

They sigh and walk slowly away, leaving Yoongi, Namjoon and I. 

“You guys doing ok?” Namjoon asks, “whenever I see the two of you, you’re attached to the hip.”

I glance at Yoongi from the corner of my eye, he’s still staring, like I’m supposed to answer that question. His silence doesn’t cease, forcing me to say something. 

“We’re ok, just ah,” I pause to look at Yoongi.

“She told this really corny joke earlier,” Yoongi blurts, “wasn’t funny.”

Namjoon raises an eyebrow, opening his mouth to answer.

“Jo-”

“Oh I’ve got better ones!” Jin calls. 

Namjoon sighs. 

“No hyung, just, keep them in the kitchen please,” he groans. 

“How about you get your ass in here to help and maybe I will!” Jin counters.

Namjoon rolls his eyes. 

“Fine” he says, “for Y/N’s sake.”

I mouth a thank you as he squeezes my shoulder. 

Yoongi and I stand alone in the front part of the living room, the painstaking silence swallow us yet again. 

“Y/N, I’m-”

Yoongi gets cut off by Jungkook.

“Y/N! Hurry before I lose this combo!” he shouts. 

“Kook wants me,” I say, “what were you?”

Yoongi shakes his head, closing the distance between us. 

“It’s nothing,” he says, “kick his ass for me.”

Yoongi kisses my forehead and cheeks prior to leaving me standing in the living room in utter confusion.    

#bts #bts fanfics #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts x reader #bts x y/n #bts x you #min yoongi #min yoongi x you #min yoongi x reader #min yoongi x y/n #bts suga #suga #suga x y/n #suga x reader #suga x you #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #yoongi x y/n #poc reader #black reader #yoongi x black reader #bts au #bts x black reader #bts series #suga x black reader #black reader insert

[artificialqueens]

Houroubing to Aruba, Chapter 1, (Branjie) - Blackhighheels

They are off to Aruba for their first vacation together

Belongs to the “For they know what they do now”- verse

Chapter 1 : Pepito

“You got everything? The presents, wallets, cellphone?” Brock asks and looks around the room, making sure they don’t forget anything important. They are in Orlando, their first quick stop on their way to Aruba, because Jose decided it would be a good idea to visit his grandmother and Alexis. Therefor instead of just changing planes, they stay for the night and then continue their flight tomorrow. Not that Brock minds, because he’s all for splitting up the close to 14 hour journey. It helps a lot with his nerves and anxiety.

“Yup, packed everything. You got the car key?"

Brock holds it up to show it to him. "Alright, then let’s go or we’ll be late.”

“Calm down, boo, it’s just a twenty minute drive from here and also it’s just my grandma. She knows I’m always late.” Jose tells him and closes the door of their hotel room behind him, follows him to the elevator.

“Really just twenty minutes? I thought it’d be farther.” Isn’t it also another town, he wonders.

“Nope, we gonna go south on Jeff Fuqua Blvd, which becomes Access Road and then stay on and we’re basically there.”

“It’s kind of weird that you suddenly know your way around and can even name the streets. Usually you need navigation to find the Starbucks around the corner from our house,” Brock teases him.

“Bitch, I grew up around here,” Jose turns around in the elevator, facing him and taking his eyes off the mirror for once. “And I find the Starbucks without navigation… now.” He admits with a chuckle. Brock makes use of the otherwise empty elevator and pulls Jose close by his suspenders for a quick kiss.

“You wanna drive?” he offers, which is unusual, because he hates being a passenger when Jose is driving in L.A, or anywhere for that matter. If Brock had the power, he would have already confiscated Jose’s driver’s license. It remains a mystery to him, how his boyfriend doesn’t get into car accidents on the regular, his driving erratic and sometimes even careless. The only reason he’s been without a driver’s license his several DUIs.

“Nah, you good. I’m just gonna pretend I’m Siri and tell you where to go. Maybe that could be a new business idea? Miss Vanjie navigations?”

Brock laughs. “Turn right… no the other right, bitches. Imma tell ya what to do now… and I look good doing it,” he tries to imitate Jose’s Vanjie voice and makes him laugh.

“You better not do Vanjie at Snatch game ever, boo. You suck! Oh, and it’s a toll street so we’ll need quarters. Dunno, if they accept credit cards now.” They get out of the elevator.

“I think I got some. Can you check?” Brock unlocks their rental car that they’ve reached by now. They both get in and buckle their seatbelts before Brock drives out of the garage while Jose digs through his backpack, looking for Brock’s wallet.

“Yup, should be fine.” He states when he has found it. “Your wallet weighs a ton. What have ya got in here?”

“Still got the tip money from the last gig,” Brock shrugs. “Left here, right?”

“Yeah, it’s a one way street, so you need to do a u-turn here,” Jose confirms after looking up for a second. Then he focusses back on Brock’s wallet and checks each compartment, takes the papers out and looks at the cards.

“What are you doing?”

“Snooping.” Jose admits it with a bratty smirk and isn’t ashamed at all. “Got something to hide? Better confess it now.”

“Not that I know of.” He knows that there’s nothing in there that he needs to hide. Not that hiding anything from his boyfriend is ever a good idea.

“You got a condom in there? No, wait, two? What’s next? Lube?"

"Of course, I got condoms in my wallet. Where else would I keep them?” It was kind of obvious. But then he remembered that his boyfriend stashed them wherever convenient, sometimes even his cellphone cover, under his hat or in his shoes- Brock wasn’t sure how save that really was. Yet, the easy access was the reason why Jose was in charge of these things.

“Where were they when we needed them that time in London, when everything was closed and we were desperate?”

“They were most likely already in there, but I was too drunk to think of it.” Brock tries to remember what happened back then, but the nights in London during their first tour together, are still kind of a blur.

“Child, I will remember from now on! Won’t happen again,” Jose huffs and puts his feet on the dashboard of the car, after he threw the wallet back in the backpack.

“Yeah, just one thing,” Brock grins and quickly looks at him before concentrating back on the traffic.

“What thing?”

“We stopped using condoms months ago?! You remember the testing and discussions?"

"Took us long enough to rid off these romance killers,” Jose rolls his eyes, but can’t hide the small smile.

“You think it took us long?” Brock asks curiously.

“Yeah, we’ve been back together eleven months and we stopped using them like what? Two months ago?”

“Bit more. I remember we discussed it right after your birthday and then got tested just to be sure. We didn’t bring any condoms on tour. November maybe? So more like four months.”

“Mmh.”

“How long did it usually take, until you stopped using protection with your ex boyfriends?”

“Never… like… No wait. With one I did, but then we broke up shortly afterwards. But the others were always cheating… or I thought they were cheating and then it turned out later I’d been right.”

“Oh, ok.”

“What? I won’t let any fuccboi gamble with my health. If I wanna fuck that up, I can do it on my own. Don’t need anyone tell me about love and trust and shit and then stick his dick somewhere without a cover.”

“You know I agree with you.” Brock points out. He’s never been one to skip protection the few times he actually had real sex with a random guy. And since he’d never had a boyfriend before Jo… and he still got tested regularly.

“I do. And I trust you, so no raincoat needed… well, other than for practical reasons.” The smirk is back on Jose’s face. “We can throw ‘em out?”

“We probably should anyway. I can’t remember when I put them in there. Better check the expiration date,” Brock laughs.

“Not like one of us can get pregnant, cause if we could… girl. We’d have grand-babies by now.”

“No, but if they rip, it kind of defeats the purpose, no matter which one we might have in mind.”

Jose wrinkles his forehead, then nods. “Turn right here on the 417 and the toll station should be right ahead.”

“Ok, papi,” Brock nods and does what he is told. “Can you hand me the quarters?”

***

They reach their destination fifteen minutes later, park the car and both get out. It’s a narrow street with small houses left and right and an apartment complex at the end of the cul-de-sac. Children’s toys seem to sit on nearly every free strip of lawn, along with grills, chairs and the odd dog on a chain. It’s obvious that it’s not a rich neighbourhood, but Brock doesn’t feel unsafe either.

“You grew up here?” Brock asks and looks around.

“Lived over there for a while,” Jose points in the general direction of a couple of houses. “But we moved a lot. Longest house we stayed in was on the other side of the lake. Five years, maybe?” He takes Brock’s hand in his and leads him down the street.

“Because of the divorce?”

“Divorce, break-ups, money or the wrong people around us. My mom didn’t want a repeat of what happened with her brother, so she tried to keep us out of trouble.”

“You know I’m glad my parents are finally divorced because they weren’t good for each other and everything, and are much happier now, but the whole moving thing is a reason why I’m glad they didn’t get divorced until we were all grown up.”

“Yeah, it sucked sometimes. Not always.”

“Any last warnings?” Brock asks then when they reach a small blue house. He is suddenly overcome by nervousness.

“Just do you, boo,” Jose smiles and they exchange a quick kiss before he knocks on the mesh screen door, because the main door is already open. “Abuela?” Jose yells.

“Come in, Pepito,” a female voice calls from the inside.

“Lita!” Jose exclaims when they walk inside and a tiny, dark haired women rushes towards them once they have crossed the small living-room and reach the kitchen.

“Pepito!  Cariño!” She squeezes him tightly and holds him, tears in her eyes. “It’s been so long”

“Yeah, it’s been a while,” he agrees, wipes his eyes and sniffs. “Grandma, this is Brock,” he introduces them. Before Brock can react he is pulled downwards and into a bear hug. The small elder woman has a lot more strength than he suspected.

“So nice to  finally meet you,” he tells her when she lets him go.

“Que hombre bonito,” she says to Jose, but Brock understands enough to blush.

“He not too bad,” Jose teases with a nonchalant shrug and winks at his man.

“Neither are you, Pepito,” Brock teases right back, because he hasn’t heard this nickname before, even though he spends a lot of time around Jose’s mother.

“Oh, stop. Only my abuela is allowed to call me that.” He turns back to his grandmother. “We brought you a little something something. The green one is from us and the pink one from mom.” He hands her the wrapped gifts that are still for Christmas.

“Thank you, mi corazon.” They both get kisses on the cheeks before she sets the gifts aside without opening them.  "You want something to drink before we leave?“ she asks the both of them.

"We leave? Where to?” Jose is as puzzled as Brock.

“The BBQ spot by the lake. The others will be here in a minute, food is done.”

“The others?” Jose doesn’t look too happy.

“Lita?” another male voice yells from the front door and then steps can be heard coming towards the kitchen where they are standing. Brock can feel Jose tense up even though they are not touching. He looks like he might run any second and shrinks into himself. “Oh, you already here,” the man says. He is about Jose’s height, maybe a bit taller with tan skin, dark short curls and Jose’s eyes. Tattoos cover his hands, arms and what can be seen of his chest and his neck. He is wearing Nike’s, grey baggy sweats and a white wife-beater. Two little girls are by his side.

“Yeah.” Jose just nods.

“Uncle Jose!” one of the girls storms towards Jo and jumps up to hug him. That’s when Brock finally understands that he’s just met Jose’s older brother.

“Vicky! You so tall now, girl! Look at that! You nearly as tall as Brock here,” Jose jokes as he holds his niece, her legs slung around his stomach. Her skin is a bit lighter than Jose’s, but the family resemblance is uncanny. Her dark curls are done in complicated braids on her head.

“Hi!” The girl smiles charmingly up at him, still in Jose’s arms and Brock smiles back. She’s really cute and Brock realises she has bright green eyes.

“Hi,” he replies and then turns to the man staring at him. “Hello, I’m Brock,” he holds out his hand. It takes a moment but then Jose’s brother shakes it.

“Hi, I’m D. Heard a lot about you, man. Mom sure can’t shut up about your house with the pool and all the other rich shit.”

“We just rent it.”

“Hey, Feli, do you remember me?” Jose puts his older niece back down on the ground and crouches down in front of the younger one, who seems to be about four or five. She looks a lot like her sister, but her eyes are as dark as Jose's  and her hair is simply pulled in a tight pony-tail. She shyly shakes her head and clings to her father’s hand more tightly, hides partially behind it.

“That’s uncle Jo, Feli. Miss Vanjie!” her sister informs her.

“How do you know about Miss Vanjie, little lady? How old are you?” Jose puts his hands on his hips and plays it up for her amusement.

“Everybody knows about Vanjie. You famous now, uncle J! And I’m ten!”

“Ten? When did you turn ten? Wasn’t it just yesterday that we played with your my little ponies and braided their hair?”

“You’re silly.” She giggles. “Look, I’m even wearing mascara and nails!”

“I can see that,” Jose smiles, but the look he gives his brother is disapproving. Then he holds up a hand towards Brock. “Help me up, boo?” he asks and Brock knows it’s only because his knee is still hurting after the six hour flight earlier in the morning. Brock pulls him up.

“Lita, you riding with us or Jose?”

“You can ride with us, if you want,” Jose offers.

“Ok, then we’ll meet you at the park.” Without another word Jose’s brother takes his daughters by the hands and leads them out of the house.

“Esper… we need to take the arroz con guandules,” grandma sighs.

“In the caldero?” Jose’s eyes widen and he looks over to the oven where a huge metal pot is standing.

“Can we even lift it?” Brock laughs when he sees the size of this thing.

“You a tall man, mi amor. You can do it,” Jose’s grandmother seems to have confidence in him and the term of endearment doesn’t miss its’ aim either. He walks over and tests it, manages to lift the heavy pot off the stove.

“Pepito, ven aqui,” she waves Jose behind her and when they come back they each hold two large  bowls with even more food. “Let’s go!” she smiles and follows them out to the car.

***

“That your ride?” Jose’s brother asks Brock when they reach the picnic area at a lake not too far away from the grandmother’s house. He doesn’t help with the heavy pots though.

“Rental. We’re only here for a day.”

“Only a day? Why’d you even come here then? Or you owning your own jet now and just don’t care?” he laughs, but Brock recognises a dig when he hears one.

“It made sense to stop here or in Miami, since we need to change planes here anyway on our way to our vacation.”

“Where you going, man?”

“Aruba.”

“Sweet.”

“Yeah, we think so.”

“Must have cost you a couple of coins.”

“A couple. The flights and part of the stay is paid for, however. I won it on the show.”

“The show?” he seems puzzled for a moment. “Ah, right. You’re one of those as well.”

“One of what?” Brock stands up to his full height after he’s finally managed to put the pot down on one of the tables. He tries not to be offended and give him the benefit of the doubt, but Jose’s stories about his brother combined with the way he just said it, rub Brock the wrong way.

“Hombre!” A loud scream interrupts them and they turn around. D smiles and walks over to the ten to twelve men coming his way. Behind them a couple of women follow, most of them with children in tow. Brock feels like he’s watching a documentation about hispanic gangs in the Bronx or something. For a second he wonders how many of them are armed, but then he pushes the thought away as quickly as he can. As a Canadian the thought of guns all around him always freaks him out.

“Fuck, he brought his whole posse,” Jose mutters and shows up beside Brock, but doesn’t touch him.

“They’re family, too?”

“Some of them are cousins, yeah. Rest friends. All of them as fucking dumb as my brother.” Jose seems angry. Or annoyed?

“You ok, papi?”

“I’m fine… just… ignore everything they say and remember we’re only here for today, k?” Jose looks up at him, a strange look in his eyes.

“Same goes for you,” Brock points out and wraps one arm around Jose’s shoulder and pulls him into his side. For a moment the tension leaves his body as he melts against Brock’s body.

“Oy, loca!” Another scream from one of the guys and the tension is back in Jose’s body, fists clenched.

Brock holds him tighter and massages his shoulder with the one hand resting there. “Breathe.”

***

A while later Jose and Brock have sat down to eat, Jose’s grandmother at their table, his nieces there as well. The other men have retreated to a table at the edge of the picnic area and Brock can’t say that he minds in the least. The longer he’s been around them, the less him likes them. The women left after a while, taking most of the kids with them after they’ve served their men with drinks and food.

“Oye, Jose!” a guy that was introduced as Tivo, a friend of D’s, yells over without getting up.

“What?”

“Bring me another beer.”

“Please,” Brock adds with quiet sarcasm, can’t help it. He waits for Jose’s sarcastic reply to the unfriendly request, but he just gives Brock’s leg a squeeze underneath the table, then gets up and brings him the requested drink. There is some laughter at the table when Jose gets there, but Brock can’t hear or understand what’s being said. When Jose comes back with an empty plate, he refills it and carries it back over. Brock can see that he’s still slightly limping, his knee still acting up.

“Sit down, babe, I’m gonna get you some ice,” Brock decides and gets up himself to fetch some ice from where the drinks are. He places the cubes on a towel and then hands it to Jose.

“Thank you, boo,” Jose replies and pecks Brock’s lips a couple of times. Wolf-whistles can be heard from the other table.

“Jose! No delante de mis hijas!” Jose jerks back from Brock at his brother’s angry command, the ice falling to the ground.

“What did he say?” Brock questions.

“Nothin’” Jose mumbles and tries to pick the ice back off the ground.

“I’m gonna get you some fresh ice,” Brock shakes his head, takes the dish towel, gets up and refills it.

“Jose! Bring the bread over.”

Brock isn’t even back at the table yet when the new command comes from the table of guys and the whole table erupts in laughter. Brock had the feeling before that they were doing it on purpose, making Jose serve them, since their wives and girlfriends were gone, but now he knows. And he is furious.

It also puzzles him why Jose is obliging them and doesn’t say a single thing. His usually so feisty and hot-tempered boyfriend is acting like a scared little kid, which adds even more fire to Brock’s anger.

He stops Jose from getting up by placing a hand on his shoulder. “Stay, I’ll do it. Put the ice on your knee.” He grabs the bread and marches over to where the guys are sitting. “Here,” he pushes the bread in the hands of a guy whose name he has already forgotten. “And now get the rest yourself."

"Ooooh,” the other three men howl and laugh.

“Mind your own business, sissy.” More boo-ing, more laughter. “We not talking to you, white boy.”

“Sissy? Fine by me, but maybe you should man up. You can’t even get your food or drinks yourself.”

“Jose! Your loca is running her mouth!” One guy calls.

“We can, we just don’t want to. That’s what you guys are for,” another one says. Brock looks at Jose’s brother, who hasn’t said anything and doesn’t holler and laugh as loudly as the others. But neither does he stand up for his brother and stop this.

“Mmh, and apparently we’re also here to pay your phone bill debts, right D?” Brock knows and addresses him directly. “How about you earn your own money first and stop relying on your little brother? How’s that for man-ing up?” More howls, boos, this time directed at D.

“Fuck off, maricon!” Brock knows that word. If there is one thing every gay man knows, it’s insults and slurs in all kinds of languages, the cruder the more familiar. And this time it came directly from D.

“What did you just say?” he asks unnecessarily, dares him to repeat it.

D gets off the bench and stands in front of him. D’s best friend Felix does the same, steps closer and puffs out his chest. “Chupa mi huevos, maricon!”

“I’m gonna fucking kill you!” Jose’s furious threat echoes  as he rushes over, already halfway there, even limping. He must have started his way over when they called him. Brock holds him back though, when he basically flies towards his brother and Felix, ready to tackle them. With both arms wrapped around his waist from behind, he is reminded how strong Jose really is. He has trouble holding him back, his boyfriend set on a physical fight with all ten of them, if he has to.

“J, you really wanna try me again?” his brother laughs, comes closer and steps in front of Felix. Brock knows that even though he doesn’t have any experience in fist fights, he will step in front of Jose and try to protect him, before he will stand idly by and watch them hurt Jose even more than they have in the past.

“Siétate! Ahora!” Suddenly Jose’s grandmother is by their side, glaring at his brother and his friends. They obey and no one dares to laugh this time. A fast rant, that Brock doesn’t understand a single word of, starts and at the same time she waves him and Jose away, signalises them to go back to their table. Brock isn’t sure if that’s a good idea though, grabs more ice as they pass the drinks and leads Jose away from the picnic area and towards a small park by the lake side.

“You ok, papi?” Brock asks when Jose is still silent once they reach a wooden bench underneath some trees, hidden away from sight.

“Did they hurt you?” Jose asks instead of answering the question.

“No, they didn’t even touch me.” Brock pulls him down onto the bench and into his lap, then places the ice on Jose’s knee for the third time. “Has it always been like this?”

“No, not when we were younger. I always wanted to be like him, all manly and cool and shit. But when he found out I was gay… at home it was ok and when we were alone, but when his friends found out…”

“Did they hurt you? Physically?”

“Sometimes.They thought they could beat the gay out of me or some shit. Until my mother found out. Then she beat the crap out of them.”

“I can imagine,” Brock chuckles, because he can imagine well how that went down.

“She took my side and he thinks she loves me more, like, I’m the favorite. When the Vanjie thing happened and they moved to L.A. for me… D really hates me now.” Jose slumps sideways against Brock’s chest. For a while they just sit there, Brock rubbing Jose’s arm and placing kisses on his forehead from time to time. Jose is deep in thought.

“You wanna go back?” Brock asks when Jose starts responding to his caresses and starts sucking on his neck.

“Mmmh, I wanna talk to my grandma some more.”

“But Jo? If they start bullying you again, we’re leaving. I will not sit idly by and watch it. We’ve come too far in our life to go back to who we were ten or fifteen years ago.”

“Thank you.” Jose kisses him gently before they both get up and walk back to Jose’s family, their fingers tightly linked. They haven’t reached their table yet when D walks towards them. Brock slightly steps in front of Jose. The fact that he is already injured makes him protective in a way he usually isn’t. Or maybe it’s just the company they are in?

“Mira… Jose, can I talk to you?” Jose looks to Brock.

“You want me to come with you?” he offers.

“Nah, we gonna be fine.” He decides and looks around.

“Stay where I can see you, please?” Brock requests quietly.

“Will do, boo.” Jose gives him a small smile and then points to a swing set not too far away. His nieces are playing there now and Brock thinks that hopefully they won’t get too intense in front of the kids. When he looks around he sees that the other men have left and only Jose’s grandmother is sitting at a table.

“They gonna be fine,” she tells him when he joins her and refills his cup.

“Thanks for stepping in. I’m not really good at fist fights,” he tries to joke.

“Tu sabes, D is here 'cause he wanted to talk to Jose. It wasn’t my idea. He’s changed a lot since they all left, his mother, his brothers… his girls. He only sees them once a month.”

“Mmh.” Brock makes, doesn’t really know what to say.

“You found a house yet?” She changes the topic.

“Not really. But we’re in no hurry. The lease isn’t up for another there years, so we’ve got time to wait and see what comes up. First we needed to hash out what we even want,” he explains and smiles, remembering their different ideas about what they wanted to buy.

“Send me some pictures when you found something. I’d like to see where he lives.”

“You could always come and see us. We have a guest room.”

“I know, my daughter told me. But the long flight… it’s expensive, you know?”

“We could book it for you. Both Jo and I have so many points saved up we barely know what to do with them. Would be first class, too.”

“Points? No entiendo.”

“Like, when you fly with certain airlines you get points for flying with them and rewards. After a certain amount of points you get better rewards, don’t have to pay certain fees, get free food and drinks. And because we’re always flying somewhere, we can basically never use up all our bonuses.”

“So you don’t pay money for my flight?”

“No, we wouldn’t.”

“Ok, I will think about it,” she finally accepts and Brock is impressed by this very proud and humble woman. “I could cook for you when I visit you. You’re both too thin.” She adds and Brock knows that he will have to tell Jose that his grandma is going to visit them soon. This is as close to accepting the offer as it gets.

They are interrupted when Jose, his brother and the girls come back. Neither is hurt, but Brock can see the storm of emotions in Jose’s eyes. He looks upset, but not angry, which he takes as a good sign.

“We should get going, boo. Have to get ready for our night out with Alexis,” Jose tells him quietly. “You got this here, D?” He motions to the pots and plates everywhere.

“Si, you go. I take care of it,” his brother confirms and his tone is much softer than before.

“K, bye Lita. Talk to you soon.”

“Bye, Pepito. You tare care.” They hug for a long moment. Brock is next, gets the same bear hug he was greeted with earlier that day.

D holds out his hand when they pull back. Reluctantly Brock takes it, not sure yet what to make of it. He is pulled in a manly hug, with a couple of pats on his back. “I’m sorry about before. And please take care of him, man. His knee really doesn’t look good.”

“I will,” he vows, surprised by the concern, the apology and the approval.

After saying goodbye to the girls, they make their way to the car in silence and Brock has to turn on the navigation, because Jose keeps staring out the window, deep in thought.

“Baby, you’re ok?” he asks him when he can’t take it anymore and touches one of Jose’s hand with one finger.

“Yeah. It was good, the talk and all. Just… a lot. He apologised for the shit he’s done to me and for not protecting me. I told him he needs to apologise to mom, too, for all his fuck ups. It was hard on her. But he doesn’t feel like he part of the family no more and … he done a lot of work, did some therapy, has his own Dr. Laurie. He’s always been a bit of an ass, but he my brother, you know? He’s family, even if he don’t get me or why I’m gay and why I’m so extra all the time.”

“Sounds like a good start,” Brock comments.

“Said he should come to L.A. and see us all. I wasn’t sure if you want him at the house though.”

“I’m not sure either. He’s kind of scary.”

“He wouldn’t do nothing. He still on probation.”

“What?” Brock squeaks and does a double take. Maybe he should have been given that info before he nearly got into a physical fight with the guy.

“Long story with a mug shot and all, y'all.” Jose chuckles.

“Talked to your grandma; she might want to visit us too. Maybe they can come together? We take your grandma and your mom can take your brother?”

“You talked my abuela into visiting us? I’ve been begging her to come see us since I moved to L.A. How’d you do that?”

“I can be charming, too, pepito.” Brock laughs.

“Haha! Baaabe!” Jose laughs loudly, his scream echoing through the car. “I think I’m gonna call Alexis and tell him we not coming tonight. I don’t feel like clubbing anymore. That ok with you?” Jose surprisingly asks when he has calmed down.

“Sure. We’ll see him in L.A. in a couple of weeks anyway.” Brock agrees and stops at the tolling station.

***

Jose remains unusually quiet when they get back their room. They each take a shower and dress more comfortably and chill on the bed before ordering room service later that night. Jose isn’t really hungry, but Brock makes him eat, since he didn’t eat much during lunch either.

Once they are done, they retreat back to the bed and start the next episode of whatever show they are watching in Netflix. Brock doesn’t pay attention.

He doesn’t really know how to deal with a quiet Jose. He’s asked him several times if he’s ok, but beside a short confirmation, he hasn’t added anything to what he said in the car. He calculates how late it is in L.A. and if they should maybe call Laurie, but then decides against it, because Jose moves closer to him and places his head on his chest.

“Today was the first day I felt like that fucking kid again, the one who fucks up at school and goes to therapy for his ADD and knows he’s gay and who is weird and loud and shit. My own brother didn’t want to be around me, 'cause I was so not cool. And now, we here and you… the hottest guy I’ve ever dated, saw all of that shit today.”

“You scared I don’t find you cool and hot anymore?"

"Dunno. Do you?” He looks up at him, a small smile on his face that is also a bit insecure. And Jose should never ever feel insecure about Brock’s love for him.

“How about I show you?” He smiles and presses his lips against Jose’s for a moment, pulls back with a loud smack.

“Starting the romancing early? We not even in Aruba yet, hot stuff.” Jose kisses him, a bit longer, but just as intensely.

“Got a problem with that?”

“No, you go ahead, boo. Show me.” The next kiss leaves them both breathless. When Brock teases him with the tip of his tongue, runs it over Jose’s lips, he lets out a soft laugh before he moves up a bit more, slips his tongue in his mouth and gives back ten fold.

Brock rolls them over, so that Jo is underneath him, lying on his back. Without breaking the kiss or looking, he slides one hand underneath his shirt and moves upward, the fabric bunching up on his wrists. Brock enjoys the feeling of his smooth, hot skin underneath his palms, muscles contracting where his light touch tickles.

He clutches the white shirt, breaks the kiss and pulls it over his head, Jose’s arms lifting on autopilot. While he’s at it, he loses his own shirt and dives back down to kiss him some more. Jose’s lips are always plump, delicious and the little noises he makes shoot straight to Brock’s groin, making him painfully hard.

They pant slightly and look at each other when they have to break the kiss again.

“I love how you always gasp when I do this,” he says and places a kiss in the middle of Jose’s chest; smiles when he hears the sound he just talked about. “So hot.”

A lick of his nipple follows, then the other, the same sounds filling the room as Jose’s hand tangles in Brock’s hair. Next he drags his scruffy cheeks down across his stomach and watches the slight red, that colours the tan skin. “I love it when you’re loud and shit,” he repeats his earlier words back at him. “Tell me what you want… talk to me."

Jose groans loudly. "Your tongue… your teeth,” he says and directs Brock’s head up. They’ve been doing this often enough that he knows exactly what his man is after. He has a go at his nipples, knows they are incredibly sensitive. Jose groans again, his voice high pitched and needy as he raises his torso off the bed, apparently stuck between wanting to pull away and pulling Brock more to him. He sucks, licks and even bites a little as Jose moans, swears and even half-laughs. Brock can feel him hard and hot through his sweats, against his leg.

He slips his hand in Jose’s pants, pulls them down with one tug as he raises his hips without prompting. The sweats join their shirts on the floor.

“How do you want me?” Brock asks him. “What do you want me to do? Suck you? Fuck you? Let you fuck me?” His right hand is wrapped around Jose’s hard shaft, teasing him further with slow and steady movements.

“You’d let me fuck you? Feeling like being a bottom today?” Jose teases and pulls Brock’s shorts down over his hips, pats his naked butt cheeks before he runs his hands over them, squeezes.

“Today I’ll do whatever you need me to do, to show you that you have the power now. No one can tell you what to do anymore, no one can talk down to you or bully you.” He rests his chin against Jose’s chest and waits for his verdict. Giving all the power away is kind of sexy too and Brock has troubles keeping his hips still.

“There’ll be enough time for me to fuck you. Maybe on the beach? Or against a palm tree?” Jose muses, clearly teasing Brock now. “I just want you to fuck me… been waiting all day… got ready while you were in the shower,” he confesses and makes Brock scramble up and get out of his pants in seconds. He grabs the lube from underneath the pillow, where one of them always puts it, and is pushed on his back. He grips the bottle hard when Jose’s wet, hot mouth suddenly surrounds his hard dick, his tongue teasing him. He sucks him, the sounds loud and obscene as he doesn’t hold back. He watches him bop up and down, cheeks hollow from time to time and sometimes his tongue peeks out, swipes over his head, tastes him, before he takes him deep again. Brock’s hips lift off the bed and he hopes he’ll hold out long enough and not come in his mouth. Saliva is covering his dick when Jose finally stops and takes the lube from him.

“You so fucking sexy.” The bottle hits the floor and Brock hopes he closed it properly, the stain disaster on a carpet not something he wishes to repeat. “Should I get the condoms or ride you like this…?” Jose asks, even though they both know it’s not really a question. The intimacy of going bare something they discussed in detail, after they had both been surprised by the effect it had on them once they’d done it the first time. For Brock it was the proof he didn’t know he’d needed, that Jose trusts him and knows he is being faithful.

Jose climbs on top of him and then slowly sinks down with a loud groan.

“God… fuck, papi.” Brick grips his hips tightly and digs his fingers into Jo’s skin. There are no more thoughts about the past, the family, nothing. Just this, his beautiful man on top of him, dominating and directing, trusting him with his body the same way he does trust him.

“I fucking love you fucking me… love you!” Jose leans down for a wet kiss, tongues battling. When he sits back up, taking him fully, he starts moving, eyes closed. “You feel so fucking good!” He gets louder. Brock starts pushing up, making the thrusts harder, deeper. “Yeah! Fuuuck!”

“Jo, yes.” There is no way he can form a full sentence. A couple more thrusts and he’s reduced to simple moans and rhythmic grunts that are drowned out by Jose’s enthusiastic and filthy commentary. That’s the confidence he knows from him, all sexy and not holding back. That’s how he wants him, no needs him, to feel every fucking second of every fucking day. Just when he’s about to come, Jo slows down, then stops and grins at him. He knows exactly what he’s doing, little shit.

“Not done with you yet. I want to come first. Show me you can get me there. Make me come! And maybe I’ll let you come, too. Might be in a giving mood.” Brock pushes up, as hard as he can and surprises him, makes him yelp. For a second he’s scared he’s hurt him.

“Yeees!” The scream is enough to make him repeat the movement, slam him down by his hips.

Their bodies glistens with sweat and he has no idea how long they’ve been at it. The muscles in his legs are shaking and burn, and he knows he can’t keep going for much longer or he has to change their position. Jose wouldn’t approve, though. He lets go of his hips with one hand and wraps it around Jose’s leaking cock, strokes him in the same rhythm as he’s riding him, as Brock’s slamming up into him.

Two, four, eight… “Fuck, yes, Brock!” Jose comes all over his stomach and chest and Brock follows him, still deep inside of him.

“Fuck,” Brock pants, giggles, his arms falling to his sides. Jose lifts his hips and lets him slide out, then moves up, lays down on top of him and kisses him, just once, because they are both still too out of breath for more.

“This was a worthy first fuck for our first vacation together.” Jose sighs into his shoulder and rests his head there. Brock just laughs and wraps his arms around him. They lay like this for a moment.

“You know what this reminds me of, us going away for a break after all of this goddamn mess today?”

“Mmh?”

“When I was still living with Alexis, Jeffrey used to watch these Arabic series sometimes. They like telenovelas but shorter. I got sucked in with one, 'cause the actress was so fucking gorgeous. It was about a woman in Lebanon, who had so much shit going on with her family that she didn’t know up from down. And then her handsome hero came in, swept her off her feet, but her family didn’t like it. And child, that guy was hot! Her brother was an asshole and all… and then they just ran off to Paris for three months and called it 'Houroub’. That was also the name of the show. Jeffrey said that means 'escape’”. I feel like that what we doing. Houroub-ing from drag and our families and fans and every day shit… I think we earned it.“

"Yeah, we do, papi,” Brock agrees and closes his eyes. “Houroub-ing to Aruba.”

Jose makes an attempt to sit up, but Brock tightens his hold around him and keeps him there. “Bitch, if you think we going to sleep with cum glueing our chests together, while I’m leaking all over the place, you better think again. You wanna be lazy like this afterwards, we better go back to the whole condoms discussion.” Jose untangles from him and cleans himself a bit with his shirt. They also had this talk before, more than once.

“I’m exhausted. You just fucked all energy out of me.” Brock sighs.

“You wanted me bossy, you get bossy: Get up! We taking a bath.” Jose decides and tugs on Brock’s arm until he reluctantly sits up.

“You gonna be bossy in the tub, too?” he asks as he follows him into the bathroom and swats his naked ass playfully.

“Maybe. But maybe I just want you to hold me,” Jose shrugs and starts the water.

“Whatever you want, papi. Whatever you want.” Brock tells him and pulls him into his chest as they watch the tub fill with water.

“When’s our flight leaving tomorrow?” Jose breaks the silence just before he turns the water off.

“Twenty past one. We should be at the airport around eleven.” They both climb in, Jose finding his spot, sitting between Brock’s outstretched legs.

“Thank god, mama. We can sleep in and get breakfast at the airport. I’ll need my beauty sleep to be ready and repeat our performance in paradise, as soon as we get there.”

Brock laughs. “You have this all planned out already? What happened to checking in, unpacking and then explore your surroundings a bit?”

“Oh, I’m gonna be all Dora-explorer on your dick, boo… all over our room and bed.” Jose’s boisterous laughter fills the room and Brock presses a kiss to his temple. What a great way to start their vacation.

TBC

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #fluff #smut #drama #canon compliant #houroubing to aruba #blackhighheels

[hamburgergod]

stay out of the cold with the latest orange and grapefruit verse where Dean and Cas are roommates and Cas happens to be a human-harpy hybrid! In this installment, Charlie and Jo deal with a broken heater and Dean and Cas offer a solution. ~2.5k 

[AO3] [dreamwidth]

“The heater at my place broke again,” is what Charlie says instead of a normal greeting.

“Hey to you, too,” Dean replies through a mouthful of rice and chicken. “Again?”

“Yeah.” She’s wearing the full gear—mittens, earmuffs, a scarf, the whole lot. She slumps over the cafeteria table. “This is how I’ve been sleeping.”

“Are you serious?”

“No,” she replies and Dean starts to laugh, but she only grows more grim. “I also wear ski pants on top of one of those fuzzy pajama bottoms and these super thick socks that I can’t fit into my boots. Also two sweaters and my coat.”

“Oh. Shit.” Dean forgives her for stealing one of his chicken pieces, if only out of pity. “That sucks, man. Did you tell the landlord?”

“Yeah, but he hasn’t done anything yet.” She chews on the piece mournfully. “He said he would, but he hasn’t. On a completely unrelated note, our lease includes all utilities, so. You know how it is.”

He can relate—it wouldn’t be the first time a college student had a dick landlord. “Dude, that sucks,” he says, more for consolation than anything since there’s not much he can offer.

She shows him the pictures she took of her windows this morning, which are completely frozen over—not with frost, but covered with bumpy ice, and the sides almost like thick icicles that are seen on tree trunks during winter. Jesus Christ. Dean adds a mental note to pick up some insulation film for their own apartment, although that might be overdoing it this year.

“This winter hasn’t been easy on anyone from what I hear,” she says, nibbling on a piece of green pepper from his lunch. “So how come you’re fine, Kansas boy?”

“Stereotype.”

She laughs. “But seriously,” says Charlie, “last year you wouldn’t shut up about how cold you were. How come this time you’re so—” She waves at him, half-disgusted at his well-being, “content?”

She has a point. Around the same time last year, Dean thought freezing to death in his room half-delirious from staying up the night to finish his report was how he was going to go. He shrugs. “Maybe ‘cause I have a smaller place now?”

“Like hell,” Charlie replies, and Dean laughs. “Maybe your landlord actually cares about heating this year.”

Dean snorts. “Maybe.”

It took him a little while to understand that it wasn’t the heater that’s been extra productive but another fairly new constant in his life. Said fairly new constant that’s currently walking into the living room wearing an oversized t-shirt and sweatpants, yawning up a storm.

“Good nap?” Dean asks, looking up from his phone. Cas nods, still somewhat out of it, and joins him on the couch. The heat from his body radiates towards Dean soon enough, and it’s such a perfect amount of toasty that Dean’s about to break out the marshmallows and the graham crackers. Dude’s like a walking heater.

Dean can’t help but let out a content sigh. The otherwise frosty living room soon thaws, and Dean loosens his grip on the blanket he was clutching at.

“What’s for dinner?” Cas demands sleepily. Dean huffs, and tells him it’s mac n’ cheese. “Stovetop or from the oven?”

“Which one would you rather have?”

“Oven-baked. Obviously the superior version.”

It’s a bit more work, but Dean’s up for the challenge. “Okay, then I’ll make that one.”

Pleased, Cas smiles. Maybe Dean imagines it, but the heat radiating from Cas becomes a little more intense for a second before it flares back down into a steady source of warmth.

Good mood means more heat. Cool.

Dean helps to shake the snow off the top of Charlie’s bobble hat. She gives a full-body shiver in return, her nose red and her cheeks icy cold.

“God,” she says. “I’m going to die. Straight up freeze my ass to death.”

“Heater still not fixed?”

“F-fucking—nope.” She shoots a grim smile. “But Jo and I sent our landlord an email briefly mentioning the HUD, and he replied saying he’s booked a repair guy. Right away! Can you believe this guy?” She sniffles. “Except today is Friday, so repair guy won’t be here until Monday at the very least. I just know that my ass is out of that house as soon as the lease is up.”

“How long’s your lease for?”

“…Until the summer. Ugh.” Charlie shivers up again. Dean pities her. “Apparently it’s supposed to snow tonight, again. I’m going to die, Dean.” Her voice sounds slightly blocked from having a congestion, and Dean touches the tip of her nose. It’s completely frozen.

“You guys don’t have a couch to crash at until then?”

“Nope,” Charlie replies miserably.

So miserably, that Dean doesn’t think twice about it when he whips his phone out to text Cas.

Charlie almost cries when she steps into their apartment.

“I have never been more glad to be in a dude’s apartment than I am now,” she says tearfully, and Dean snorts, directing her to the couch. She gladly takes the offer, and snuggles up against the blanket that’s already bunched up on top of it. Dean makes them both a cup of hot chocolate while she boots up her laptop, making cooing noises at it all the while.

“Jo says she’ll head here as soon as she’s done work,” Charlie says. “God, do you know how nice it is to feel my toes again?”

Dean laughs.  “Did you want anything specific for dinner?”

“You’re feeding me too?! Oh my god, dude.” Charlie sends the blanket flying as she hugs him. “Best temp roommate ever.”

“Alright, alright.” Dean gives her a firm pat on the back with a smile. “Don’t get too used to it.”

“I’ll treat you guys tomorrow. I promise.” Charlie holds up a hand to Dean’s protest. “Dean, you’re already providing us so much. It’s the least I can do.”

It’s then that Cas shuffles out of his room stretching and takes a moment to blink at Charlie in split second confusion before his smile breaks through. “Hello, Charlie.”

“Hey man!” Charlie gets up to hug him too. “Thanks for this. Jo and I are super grateful.”

Cas frowns. “The living condition at your place doesn’t sound very accommodating.”

“Don’t get me started on that.”

Jo joins them after work as Charlie’s promised and soon enough everyone’s piled up in the living room being warmed to their very core. Charlie dozes off a few times and Jo pokes her awake just long enough to have her finish her essay. Dean makes quesadillas and passes plates of it around, smacking Jo’s hand away from grabbing the plate near her.

“Ow! What’s your deal?”

“That’s Cas’s,” Dean replies. At Jo’s eyebrow quirk, he adds, “He doesn’t like chicken.”

Cas’s head perks up from between his textbook and gives Dean a blinding smile. Dean flushes hot under his collar at the sight; it’s not that big of a deal for Cas to look so pleased that Dean remembered that Cas doesn’t like eating chicken (“Is it like… borderline cannibalism for you guys?” “Not so much cannibalism as it feels… wrong for me to eat. Would you ever eat a monkey?”). His face is warm as he hands him his plate and he still doesn’t cool back down when he’s sitting in his spot with his own plate.

“Is it hotter in here or what?” asks Charlie.

“What?” Dean clears his throat. “No. What?”

“No, it definitely got hotter,” says Jo. She fans herself, her own face slightly red. Oh. Temperature-wise, they mean. Duh. “It went from 0 to 100 real quick all of a sudden.”

Charlie rolls up her sleeves and Jo ties her hair up into a ponytail while Cas pretends to not notice any of this is happening, his face slightly red also probably from his own body heat, and Dean tries to contain his own smile. Dude must really like his quesadilla or something, geez.

The rest of the weekend goes by relatively event-free and Charlie and Jo are more than happy to go back to their house after their heater is fixed. Though the apartment feels much bigger after those two leave even though they only stayed for two nights, Dean’s also secretly a little bit relieved to have his and Cas’s space back. He especially feels worse when, as soon as Charlie and Jo walk out the front door, Cas lets out a mile long groan and his wings shudder out full-force, twitchy from having been crammed in without an opportunity to stretch them.

Dean winces. “Sorry about that.”

“It’s fine,” says Cas, even though this must’ve been harder for him than anyone else in the apartment.

“Was it? Really?” Dean pokes the side of Cas’s wing and Cas yelps. “Sorry!”

Cas huffs as he relaxes his wings down again, and rolls his shoulders with a crane of his neck. “It was still nice to have their company,” he says graciously.

Cas cranes his neck with a wince and look, Dean feels bad. He really does. So he offers the only thing he can think of. “D’you want a massage?”

Cas’s head snaps to Dean, wide-eyed. “What?”

Dean blinks. Well, that was a response. “A massage. For your wings.” Dean shifts his weight on his feet, slightly unnerved by Cas’s sudden upped intensity. “I feel bad, y’know? My fault you couldn’t stretch them out.”

Cas’s wings twitch in place like he’s trying to hold them very still just like how he holds himself right now as he stares at Dean with disbelief. His face grows more and more crimson until the tips of his ears are bright red.

“Did… I say something wrong?”

“Um.” Cas blinks rapidly. His tongue quickly pokes out to lick his lips. “No. Just.” He coughs. “You don’t understand what you’re offering to do.”

“Huh?”

As if saying that out loud was more to confirm it to himself than to inform Dean, Cas relaxes as he watches Dean’s cluelessness grows. “Humans… hold hands and, and touch each other as an act of intimacy typically when they’re romantically involved. Wing grooming and such for harpies…”

“Oh.” So Dean basically offered to… He flushes. “Oh.”

“It’s alright,” Cas says quickly as if he understands how painfully embarrassing it is to misunderstand one’s cultural aspect and make a fool out of himself. Oh, wait. Ha. “You didn’t know what you were saying.”

“Right.” Dean laughs awkwardly.

Cas offers an awkward smile in return and suddenly the living room is more stuffy than ever, a thin layer of something hovering over them as they stand there like dumbasses without being able to look each other in the eyes for some reason.

Dean can’t take it. “Do uh, do you only wing groom your partners?” he asks with the sole purpose of academic interest. Someone’s gotta ask these questions, right? “Like, this is strictly romantic?”

Cas thinks about it. His face contorts in an interesting way as he thinks, his eyes screwing up as his eyebrows move up and down and his mouth pursed into a thin line. “No. Not always.”

A sliver of hope. “Oh?”

“No,” Cas says slowly, like an old computer rebooting itself after it blue-screened. “A baby harpy would have their wings groomed by their parents, or close friends would help each other with hard-to-reach places. No,” he repeats, “there’s a platonic aspect to it. It’s circumstantial.”

“Oh.” Dean’s shoulders sag with relief and he laughs, more genuine this time. “Then why’d you make it so weird when I offered, dude?”

Cas frowns down. His wings twitch again. “I don’t know.”

Thank god. Thank god it was just Cas being his socially awkward self and not Dean having crossed a line. “Well, hey, offer’s still on the table if you want.”

Cas flushes and rubs the back of his neck. His wings flutter slightly. He sighs. “It would be nice,” he admitted.

They sit down on the floor since the couch is too small to accompany Cas’s wings while he’s sitting up. Dean thinks about suggesting Cas to lie down but thinks better on it. Now that he actually has Cas’s wings sitting in front of him, he’s not sure where to start.

“Should I…” Dean experimentally digs his fingers upwards into Cas’s right wing, watching with fascination as his fingers disappear into the feathers. Cas stiffens for a split second before he relaxes with a big breath. “You okay?”

Cas nods though he’s still a little stiff. “Yes.”

Dean sort of… kneads his fingers into Cas’s wings by moving up against the feathers like Cas told him to, until he reaches between Cas’s shoulder blades and gently presses a few times. Cas groans into the touch and yep, okay, he must’ve done something right. Dean grows more confident as he kneads back down each wing, doing his best to not hurt Cas’s joints by mistake and Cas’s feathers become more lax.

He works himself up a sweat moving up and down on his knees—he’s boiling hot— but Dean’s starting to really get the hang of this. Cas seems like he’s responding better too, with the way his back arcs slightly and the way he lets out a sigh every once in a while as his wings shudder under Dean’s touch. Cas’s wings flutter out of Dean’s grasp then, standing up abruptly and almost leaving Dean with a handful of feathers.

“Thank you, Dean.” He clears his throat. “I think that’s good enough.”

“Yeah?” Dean grins. “Feel better now?”

“Yes.” Cas shuffles his wings before he puts them away in the blink of an eye. Dean still can’t get used to the transition. Cas’s face is still red so Dean’s not the only one feeling the temperature. “I have a—I remembered that I have a thing to work on, so.”

“Yeah, sure man. Let me know if you ever want another massage,” he says to Cas’s retreating back, who gives him a thumbs up without turning back and goes straight to his room.

Well, that wasn’t so bad. Everyone got off that pretty happy, and hey, Dean’s pretty proud.

Dean yawns and gets ready for the rest of the day.

Castiel, meanwhile, face-plants onto his bed and lets out a long, quiet groan of frustration into his pillow, the sensation of Dean’s touches still ghosting over his wings.

Now he has to live with knowing how that feels.

#destiel #my writing #spn #orange and grapefruit verse #stay out of the cold by cuddling a phoenix harpy near you today

[dreamytfw]

I’m bored and impatient again, so I’m answering stuff from an ask game. OP here. I just want to say preemptively that the shipping questions only pertain to me and how I ship or don’t ship them. I don’t care what y’all ship.

1:What is your Supernatural OTP? Destiel.

2:What’s your opinion on John Winchester? I have a lot of strong feelings about that fucking dickhead.

3:Which season finale was your favorite/least favorite? Favorite: season 8′s was really good. Least favorite: season 10. We almost had Dean in space.

4:Which is your favorite episode? Either Changing Channels or The Man Who Would Be King

5:Which episode makes you cry the most? The episode where Ellen and Jo die ALWAYS makes me cry.

6:Which episode is the funniest to you? The Real Ghostbusters

7:What’s your opinion on Megstiel? I’m okay with it up to a point. That point is crazy!Cas.

8:When did you start watching Supernatural? The hiatus between seasons 7 and 8. I finished my Netflix binge something like the day before season 8 premiered.

9:Which episode title do you think is the funniest? The French Mistake. Gotta love Mel Brooks.

10:What’s your opinion on Garth? I loved Garth! Such a massively under-utilized character.

11:If you could bring back any character, would you? If so, whom? I’d like to finally get Adam out of Hell, but I don’t think that’s quite what you’re asking.

12:Who is your favorite angel? Cas. Duh.

13:Who’s your favorite archangel? Gabriel.

14:What’s your opinion on Wincest? Squicks me the fuck out. Sibling incest does in general. Like, we’re not supposed to want to fuck our siblings guys. That’s how we get Joffery and El Hachizado.

15:What’s your opinion on Lisa? (and Ben, if you want) Ben was kind of blah outside of his first episode. I really liked Lisa and how she refused to take any of Dean’s crap.

16:When did you start blogging about Supernatural? Uh... I think I jumped on board right away?

17:Do you think that Chuck is God? How old are these questions???

18:Do you have a favorite Dick (Roman) joke? If so, what is it? Not a joke, but I’m really weirdly amused that his actor does the voice of a recurring minor character in the Kingdom Hearts series.

19:Which is your favorite episode? We had this question before.

20:Who do you ship Sam with? Samena, but I really love fluffy snuggly Samstiel.

21:What’s your opinion on Destiel? OTP

22:Did you like the first or second Ruby better? iunno.

23:Who’s your favorite demon? Demon!Dean deserved a longer arc.

24:Do you read smutty fanfiction? I fucking write smutty fan fiction (I’m just bad at finishing and publishing it).

25:Do you think Destiel will become canon in season 9? (Regardless of whether you want it to or not) Christ this is old. Unfortunately they did not. But fingers crossed for season 14, aka their 10 year anniversary.

26:Have you ever had a dream about Supernatural/the characters/the actors? If so, can you describe what you remember? All the time. I used to be able to lucid dream to some extent, but since I’ve gone off my psych meds I can’t seem to do it as much anymore. The most recent one I had was the other night. I don’t remember it too clearly, but Sam and I said bye to Dean and Cas before heading off on some sort of mission or something.

27:Which episode is the scariest to you? (Horror-movie type scary) That episode where Sam got his throat ripped out this season was the first time Supernatural has actually scared me. Other episodes have been suspenseful, but I was legit scared during those mine scenes.

28:What’s your opinion on Sabriel? I don’t really see it. MAYBE unrequited on Gabriel’s side, but other than that I just don’t get the appeal.

29:Do you think End!verse will happen? If so, are you looking forward to it? Well, Lucifer’s dead now so I’m guessing no. If End!Verse does happen, Dean and Sam’s places are going to be swapped.

30:Do you have any friends off of the Internet that watch Supernatural? Yes.

31:Do any of your family members watch Supernatural? I got my dad and my brother to watch it, but they kind of dropped it. My mom is currently watching it and I regret everything that has led to this point in my life.

32:What’s an unpopular opinion or headcanon you have? The “romantic” subplots in the Scoobynatural episode were gross and the episode would have been better without them.

33:Do you like AU fanfics? DO I!!!!

34:Have you ever written/started writing a fanfic? See my answer to number 24.

35:What’s your opinion on Samifer? That... really depends on the vessel Lucifer is in. See, I’m a fan of selfcest so if I do read Samifer stuff, I always imagine it as Sam basically fucking himself.

36:If you have an OTP, at what point did you start shipping it? First time I watched. Literally that second episode Cas was in when he was standing in the kitchen with Dean and told Dean to show him some respect I was just like “...are they gonna fuck?”

37:Do you think Sam should have completed the demon trials? Nah.

38:Which director/writer is or was your favorite/least favorite? Favorite: I don’t know. I don’t really pay attention to the good writers because I’m too busy enjoying their content. Least favorite: Bucklemming really needs to be fired or relegated to only filler episodes.

39:Which actor would you most like to meet in real life? MISHA!

40:If you could be any character on the show, would you want to? If so, whom? If not, why? Nah. I kind of like being me. I’m the only person I know how to be.

41:Do you prefer cake or pie? Both ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

42:What is your opinion on Sastiel? Is it Samstiel or Sastiel because I just don’t know. I prefer it fluffy. For whatever reason I have trouble getting into smutty Samstiel.

43:Have you ever made a Supernatural reference out loud and received strange looks from some of the people surrounding you? Yes...

44:Have you ever cried over a non-OTP ship from the show? I’m not entirely sure what this question means... Like, have I ever cried over characters in the show that I don’t ship? Yeah. It’s Supernatural.

45:What is your favorite moment from any of the gag reels? “When did you forget how to act?” “Season 2?”

46:Superwholock? Please no.

47:What is/was your favorite Sam hair length? I really liked season 10.

48:What’s an unpopular ship you have? Meg/Bela. Don’t ask, I don’t understand it either.

49:What’s your opinion on Wincestiel? I prefer it as more of a love triangle where Sam and Dean are fighting over Cas’s affection than as a throuple.

50:Can you dig Elvis? Fun fact: I never finished that fan fiction. I loved every moment of it, but I got as far as Dean meeting Adam in Vietnam before I chickened out because I knew there was a bunch more pain on the way.

51:Do you listen to Carry On Wayward Son even when you’re not just watching a finale? I used to, but I’ve since been conditioned to feel pain every time that song starts playing.

52:What’s your opinion on Zachariah? Good antagonist.

53:Do you think Adam will ever get out of the cage? (not as Michael) Not at the rate we’re going.

54:Do you think Sam should have completed the trials? Why are there repeat questions?

55:How long would you survive as a hunter? I wouldn’t.

56:What’s your opinion on Calthazar? Foxhole love/friendly former fwb.

57:Do you have a Netflix account? If so, what’s your username and password? Wait a second, just the first part. I do and I’ve basically just been watching Supernatural on it the past month or so.

58:Have you ever participated in GISHWHES? I did the first year (the one with the pigeon rat mascot). It was fun, but it was stressful to the point where I don’t want to do it again.

59:What movies/shows have you watched because of (or by coincidence) Jared, Jensen, or Misha? Jared: House of Wax... kind of. I turned it off as soon as he got murdered because it was just awful. I also tried watching Gilmore Girls, but I dropped it after two episodes because every character in that show is either a terrible person or blah. The Supernatural Anime. Jensen: My Bloody Valentine, Batman Under the Red Hood. The Supernatural Anime (I know he only voiced the last episode, but he was in it so it counts). THAT ONE EPISODE OF WISHBONE AKA MY CHILDHOOD. Misha: the TSA short films, Karla, NCIS

60:If you could change just one thing about the series, what would it be? I’d make Dean better at using his god damn words.

61:If you were at a Con, what would be a question you would ask?(can be any of the actors) UUUUHHHHHHHH...

62:Why did you start watching Supernatural? Saw it all over tumblr. Got curious. It’s all been downhill from there.

63:What’s your opinion on Sam/Crowley? That’s a thing??

64:What’s your biggest fear for season 9? I honestly don’t remember what it was.

65:What’s your favorite (or at least a memorable) pop culture reference that has been made on the show? Them referencing themselves is always pretty great.

66:Just a random confession you have regarding the show/Asker makes up their own question.

#spn #supernatural #ask stuff

[hannahindie]

The Wedding Singer - Track 6

“Tainted Love”

Characters: Dean, Reader, Jo (brief), Chuck (brief), a somewhat uncomfortable bride and groom

Word Count: 2,003 (including lyrics)

Series Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Language, Mentions of Infidelity, Alcohol

A/N: This is the sixth chapter of an AU SPN Series co-written by myself and @pinknerdpanda entitled The Wedding Singer and is inspired by the movie. We have been working on this for the last few months and are very excited to share it with you. The series tag list is open. If you would like to be added, please send one of us an ask. I made the 80s inspired aesthetic and the series was Masterbeta’d by @wheresthekillswitch.

As usual, tags are at the bottom. If you’d like to be added, please let me know!

Track List:

Track 1: “You Spin Me Round (Like A Record) by: @pinknerdpanda

Track 2: “White Wedding”  @hannahindie

Track 3: “Do You Really Want to Hurt Me?”by: @pinknerdpanda

Track 4: “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic”@hannahindie

Track 5: “Love Stinks”@pinknerdpanda​

Track 6: “Tainted Love”

Sometimes I feel I've got to Run away I've got to Get away from the pain that you drive into the heart of me The love we share Seems to go nowhere And I've lost my light For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night

Once I ran to you (I ran) Now I'll run from you This tainted love you've given I give you all a boy could give you Take my tears and that's not nearly all Oh tainted love Tainted love

Every single person at the reception was watching Dean in shock as he slurred his way through “Tainted Love”. Even the band had quit playing, although Dean had apparently decided he didn’t need a band to sing this particular song. He stopped after the second verse and took a swig out of the beer bottle he had clutched loosely in one hand, then gripped the mic stand tightly with the other. His bloodshot eyes scanned the room, squinting against the stage lights, as if looking for someone.

His eyes widened as he spotted the newly married couple, “There you are! S’wonderin’ where ya got off to. Anyway, lemme just say a few words.” Chuck was quietly shaking his head at Dean, willing him to stop talking, but Dean pulled the mic off the stand, stumbled to the edge of the stage, and pointed at them with the hand still holding the beer bottle. “You got married today! Ain’t that just a dream come true? I was going to live that dream week before last, but I guess it's not always meant to be. It certainly wasn't for me, because I was engaged to a self centered, raging bitch, but Jeff, looks like you're a lucky guy. At least Sheila...Sheila right? Sheila showed up! That's the first half of the fuckin’ battle and she nailed it!”

The room was dead silent as Dean took another swig of beer. Chuck was nervously looking around the crowd for Jo, afraid to interrupt but knowing someone probably should. Before he could make a move, Dean continued, “Listen, folks, these two married because they loved...well, love...each other. And that's just….it's a beautiful thing.” He groaned as he flopped himself down on the edge of the stage, his legs dangling over the side, “But see, ya need to unner...understand somethin’. It's only beautiful for s’long. Sure, sure, it's great now. Look at ‘em, all happy and shit,” he waved vaguely in their direction, “but it'll just...jus’ fizzle out. And there won't be a warning either Jared...Jeff. She’ll jus’ get tired of ya. S’dont bother sacrificing your career or something you love for her, ‘cause eventually that won't even be enough.”

Chuck finally caught Jo’s attention, who hurried back into the kitchen and grabbed Y/N by the arm, “You need to get him off that stage right now!”

Y/N looked up from the cookies she was putting the finishing touches on, confused, “What? What's going on?”

“Dean is shit faced drunk and he's decided to give them a nice little reception speech. Only it's terrible and everyone is mortified, but no one knows what to do. You need to go out there and get him outside or something.”

Y/N tossed the icing bag down and wiped her hands off on her apron, “Why do I need to do it? Dean and I barely know each other!”

Jo rolled her eyes, “You handled it well last time. Sam told me how you got him home. Just...handle it. Please?” Jo looked at her with begging eyes and Y/N sighed.

“Fine, but...you owe me.” Y/N took her apron off and hung it up, then hurried into the reception hall in time to hear Dean finish up his ‘speech’.

“Anyway, the moral of this story is: love stinks. Good fuckin’ luck!” He dropped the mic onto the stage and high pitched feedback echoed through the room. He slid clumsily off the stage and stumbled towards the kitchen, but Y/N intercepted him before he got too far.

“Whoa there, Dean, where ya going? Why don't we go outside?” He squinted at her then nodded, and turned back the other direction. She gently pushed him towards the exit, and when she caught Chuck’s eye, he mouthed a silent thank you. She nodded and smiled grimly, and wondered how she'd managed to get herself involved in this.

Dean sat on the steps, his hands dangling between his knees and his head down. Y/N stood off to the side, unsure of what to do. What she wanted to do was sit down next to him and comfort him as much as she could, but the bright glint of her engagement ring in the setting sun reminded her that whatever it was she felt for Dean, she needed to leave it alone.

Until he looked up at her.

She had never seen such sadness or disappointment in someone’s eyes. He looked tired and broken, his eyes bloodshot and shining from the unshed tears that were trapped there. This was a completely different Dean than the one she'd sat next to on these same steps three weeks ago. Her heart broke as she looked back at him, and he ran a weary hand across the five o’clock shadow currently gracing his chiseled jaw.

“I'm an idiot.” Whatever had kept her standing was suddenly forgotten, and she tucked her legs under her as she sat next to him.

“Dean, you are not an idiot. You're heartbroken and angry, but you aren't an idiot. No one is going to blame you for having a slight...breakdown.”

Dean laughed bitterly, “Slight? I just ruined their reception. I jus’...I dunno. I don't want anyone else to feel like this, ya know? It sucks. How d’ya know when to trust someone?”

Y/N shrugged, “I guess you can't really know, not for sure. You just have to have faith in people. It doesn't always work out, and you're going to get hurt...but sometimes you find that one person that makes the risk worth it.”

Dean had been staring at his hands, but he turned to look at her, and his eyes locked with hers. Suddenly, it was like she'd forgotten how to breathe. His eyes were so green, like moss in a sun dappled meadow. His gaze shifted to her lips and for a brief moment it occurred to her what he was about to do, and that she should move.

Then, his lips were on hers and she completely forgot about what was right and what was wrong. She forgot about the ring on her finger. All she cared about in that moment was how his lips molded perfectly with hers, and the electricity that seemed to pass between them when he grazed her bottom lip with his tongue. She felt his hand land softly on her hip and she moaned into him, her fingers grasping at the short hairs at the nape of his neck. For a brief, wonderful moment, she remembered what it felt like to want to kiss someone so long and deep that you nearly became one person. She remembered what it should feel like when two people in love kissed; desperate, and full of fire and fear of letting the other one go.

And as soon as it started, it was over. Y/N pulled back with a gasp, and stared at Dean with wide eyes.

“Oh...Jesus...Y/N, I'm sorry…”

Y/N stood so quickly she nearly toppled over, “I...I have to go!” She threw the door open and swiftly disappeared inside.

“Y/N! Dammit!” Dean punched the ground, then swore under his breath at how much it hurt. He pulled his phone from his pocket, stared at his contacts list for a moment, then finally selected the name he'd been dreading to call. “Yea...hey, Sammy? I'm not doing so great, can you come get me? ...Yea, there's a wedding. I think Chuck will need to finish it for me. I...uh...I messed up. No, not just that. I really messed up, man. Just come get me.” Dean hung up and rested his elbows on his knees, his head in both hands.

This was one mistake he wasn't sure he'd be able to fix.

Y/N stumbled into the kitchen, barely holding it together as she turned the corner and leaned against the wall. It had been bad enough that Dean had kissed her, but she had enjoyed it. She had kissed him back, and it was the first time she had felt that alive in so, so long. She thought back to when she’d seen Ketch the day Sam had dropped her off, and it hadn’t even compared to the few seconds with Dean. The weight of what had just happened hit her and the tears came, large, silent drops that rolled down her cheeks. She heard the door open and hurriedly tried to wipe them away, but Jo turned the corner faster than Y/N had anticipated and caught her in the act.

“Oh my God, Y/N, what happened?!” She dropped the plates she was carrying roughly in the sink, ignoring the loud clattering they made as they shifted and nearly toppled out into the floor, and grabbed Y/N’s hands. “Where’s Dean?”

Y/N shook her head, “I don’t know...I mean, he was outside, but I...I don’t know where he is now. Jo...I’m an idiot.”

Jo smiled gently and used her thumb to wipe away a tear rolling down Y/N’s cheek, “Sweetie, we’re all idiots sometimes. What exactly happened to make you feel like that?”

Y/N took a deep breath, “Dean kissed me.”

Jo’s gentle smile turned into a hard frown, her brows furrowed, “That fucking dumbass, I’m going to kill him-”

“I kissed him back, Jo.” Jo’s mouth hung open, still in mid-sentence. She snapped it shut and looked at Y/N with wide eyes.

“You did what? Please tell me I heard you incorrectly.”

“No...I mean, you heard right, I did...I kissed him back. And it was...it was incredible. What is wrong with me?! I love Ketch, I love him more than anything, but we haven’t kissed like that in...shit, months. It’s been months. And then I looked at Dean and he did it so fast, and...God, it felt so right. I remembered what it was supposed to feel like, but...this was a huge mistake. What am I supposed to do?”

Jo gave Y/N’s arm a gentle squeeze, “Listen, Dean was drunk. I’m sure that he wouldn’t have done that sober.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Gee, thanks. You really know how to make a girl feel good, don’t you?”

“You know that’s not what I meant,” Jo sighed. “Dean wasn’t thinking clearly. He knows you’re engaged. That’s not how he would normally act, and I am sure that when he sobers up, he’s going to feel awful about it. He’s in a bad place right now, and you’ve been nice to him. He was just confused. Just...give him some space, alright?” She patted Y/N on the shoulder, then walked back towards the reception hall. Y/N moved over to the sink to start working on the dishes that Jo had just left, and Jo paused in the doorway.

“And Y/N?” She asked as she looked at Y/N over her shoulder, “If you felt like that about Dean’s kiss, even when you haven’t known him that long, and you have even a single doubt in your mind about Ketch...you might want to reconsider that ring on your finger.” She left the room and Y/N watched after her, her mind racing with the observation Jo had just made.

Things had just gotten more complicated than she would have ever thought they would when she first moved here.

Like what you see? Would you like to see more? My Masterlist is here and the lovely @pinknerdpanda can be found here.  Thanks for reading! :)

The Wedding Singer - Series Tags: @nanie5 @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @tiffanycaruso @faegal04 @bethbabybaby @aesthsuggestion @escabell @lavieenlex @letmusicguideu @charliebradbury1104 @ericaprice2008 @kathaswings @feelmyroarrrr @karlee-fay-my-wayward-son @journeyrose @kudosia @spnfangirl1965 @pickupthatamulet @faithfullpanicmoon @castianityislife02 @hexparker @squirrel-moose-winchester @imissyoualittlemoreeveryday

Forever Tags: @trexrambling @pinknerdpanda  @wheresthekillswitch @emilywritesaboutdean @arryn-nyxx @emptywithout @escabell @charliebradbury1104 @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes  @deanssweetheart23  @canadianjelly @super-not-naturall @aubreyreadsstuff @dean-winchesters-babydoll @melissaj616 @fandomismyspiritanimal @keepcalmandcarryondean @assbutt-still-in-hell @owllover123 @rosie-winchester @amionthetumbler @duubaduu @hiimaprofessionalfangirl @goldenolaf25 @authoressskr @nanie5 @mrssamfuckingwinchester @zincomms @kathaswings @crazynerdandproud @barbedwireandbubblegum @sandlee44 @boxywrites @justanotherdeangirl @smalltowndivaj @captainradicalpassion @myloveforyouxx @atc74 @mrsbateshotel53 @easelweasel @there-must-be-a-lock @masksandtruths @thelittleredwhocould @jotink78 @amanda-teaches @ilsawasanacrobat @squirrel-moose-winchester @mjdoc90

Dean Only: @akshi8278 @lavieenlex @valkyrieslament @highonpastries

#The Wedding Singer Series #Dean Winchester au #supernatural au #dean x reader #reader insert #angst #HanPan Strikes Again

[stuffandsundry]

Arc 1: The Beat Riders

Premise

Most of the early episodes don't need to change all that much, compared to later--

Ah. Shit. I forgot to address my beef with Kaito. ok gimme a sec uhh. Ok. Okokok so here we go. I'm not gonna do this for all the characters because mostly, character introductions are fffffairly okay. Some are better than others but like, they're all at least workable… except. HIM. Kaito, the most out of all the gaim characters, makes zero sense so im gonna throw EVERYTHING out and try to extrapolate something based off of backstory given from Gaiden and canon and a little bit of real riders. Hope it makes sense. So, recap of backstory: Kaito's family used to be decently middle class and he played near the shrine tree, until Yggdrasil came in and bought them out. Kaito's dad didn't really know what to do after losing his purpose in life and turns to drinking/gambling, and they rapidly lose whatever money they had gotten from the corporation, dad becomes abusive, parents kill themselves and Kaito is left at an orphanage and grows up bitter and vaguely traumatized. Gets into a lot of fights at school, is a history nerd, etc. Cool, that's workable. Extrapolation from that for this scenario (oh yeah also, I did say girl now, it's Keiko now)

Keiko rreally hates Yggdrasil. If they had never moved in, maybe her family could have stayed together.

She's always looking for something to challenge her- she saw her family "give up" early on, and she doesn't want to end up like them. Struggle as proof that she's alive? No sympathy for people who've given up fighting, in her eyes.

Related to Point 2. Believes in a fair fight. There's no use in beating down someone clearly weaker than you, and anyone who does that is a coward and a bully. And if you need to lie to someone to beat them, then that doesn’t count as an actual victory. Wants to be acknowledged as the best by her own power.

A lot of pride. Doesn't like accepting help or depending on others/seeming weak. Talks big but also has a lot of like. Self-worth issues, thinks that people have to be "worth" something to be allowed to live, which comes from being abandoned by family so young.

Listen I know that this is a Very Standard anime rival lone wolf archetype but it didn't get to be a standard because it /Didn't/ Work, also I got really attached to Keiko halfway through typing this just let me have this please, I rarely if ever see it applied to girls,

Actually, the soccer episode also gave me the idea that Keiko would be the type of person that just. Rolls with things, no matter how vaguely ludicrous they are. Re: canon soccer episode. What are you gonna do when you get punched in the gut, sending you to an alternate dimension where the city wasn't destroyed and everyone uses the power of the drivers to play soccer? Clearly, become the best damn armored soccer player ever. That's such a funny trait I'm keeping it. It would be such a good source of deadpan comedy. Example: in high school Keiko was a delinquent who got into fights, how did she end up captain of a dance team? Nobody knows. (Most likely: somebody tried to insult her by saying that she couldn't dance for shit and she decided that the best way to rise to this challenge was to… take over a dance team and make them teach her.) Simultaneously zero chill and weirdly chill. Chill about all the wrong things.

Okay, back to plot. Only minor changes for the first 14 episodes, which I'm collecting into an arc--

Instead of Micchy becoming Ryugen, I wanna say that Micchy shows the rest of the Beat Riders the driver he got from Sid ahead of time and Mai sees her chance and asks him to give it to her. Because on one hand, Mai's grateful that Kouta's staying behind because Yuuya's gone missing and Mai isn't sure that she can handle being the final word of authority in Gaim, but on the other, Mai's kinda annoyed that Kouta stayed behind because it's like he doesn't trust her to be able to protect the team. Just because she's doubting herself doesn't mean that he should! She wants to stand on equal level with Kouta, so the driver. Micchy does give Mai the driver, because he cares a lot about Mai.  However, subconsciously or not, he was looking forwards to being the one of the people that the team relied on, so a seed of resentment is also planted here. This colors his decisions in favor of keeping things secret from the rest of the team moving forwards as well.

Within the team, Mai and Micchy more-or-less switch roles, except that Micchy is also finding out a lot of Yggdrasil's-- and his sister's-- secrets in the meantime, so he's still extremely relevant. This way, there's a character arc set up for both Mai and Micchy-- Mai needs to learn that Gaim will follow her (like they did when Yuuya was around) not for her fighting ability or anything, but because she cared about people and wanted to make them happy. Mai realizes that she didn't need to change in order to become a strong leader, because she was already a strong leader and she just needed to trust in herself. On the other hand, Micchy's going to eventually realize that staying quiet about things that upset him is actively working to make his life worse because his friends and family aren't mind readers and they can't tell if they did something to upset him if he doesn't verbalize it. And if his friends and family really, truly care about him, then they'd be upset at THEMSELVES about hurting him, not at him. His secretive martyrdom is a ticking time bomb for everyone.

Ah yeah, one plot change I have to mention here: Keiko doesn't want the other teams to be her vassals because what's the fucking point, Team Baron is the best anyways. (That entire thing was a little. Hm. Idk how much sense it made, man. And it only lasted like two episodes so there was no point to it except to show that Kaito was an asshole even???) So in this 'verse, the reason that she gives Hase and Jo more powerful lockseeds in the first place is because. Gaim is the only real challenger to Baron, which means that theres only one person that she can fight meaningfully and that’s boring as shit. Raid Wild and Invitto still want to fight, they're just lacking the means. The only real surprise is that they come after her with drivers, which she didn't know they had. She has mixed feelings about the sneak attack. On one hand, maybe Hase and Jo are stronger than she thought they were! On the other, those motherfucking SNAKES,

Oh wow I just realized that having Keiko instead of Kaito makes that scene where Mai goes into the forest alone and Baron finds her… really gay. Mai bandaging Keiko's arm and they talk about their childhoods together… Mai remembers that Keiko would always watch her dance and Keiko tells her she was too shy to go up and say hi… Mai's deal wanting to protect those that she holds dear and all that jazz, while Keiko's a cynical SOB. ( By the by, Kouta's not super concerned with Mai being in there until he remembers ah. Mai doesn't have a Lock Vehicle so she can't get out, and the white armored rider is in there, which is when he rushes in like a fool. Except he's on his own while Mai is with Keiko, so it ends up being Kouta who has to get rescued, etc, etc. a lot of early stuff goes this way tbh. Small changes, but overall plot stays same so im not gonna outline it all.)

Takako's thing is a lot more. Okay. Bear with me here. I feel she'd def be far more defensive than Takatora was, because she's got a lot more to prove, and she's pretty isolated-- again, handing out the drivers wasn't her idea, and she's not getting the respect someone else might get at her job level, it's really stressful but Takako's kept going because the people around her-- Ryumi and the other scientists-- say that this is all going to work. Enter Akira. (YEAH. YOU HEARD ME. KAZURABA AKIRA DESERVES A BIGGER ROLE FUCK YALL)

Akira works for Yggdrasil-- she used to be part of a subsidiary, but her last project just got wrapped up, and she was reassigned to Takako's division as junior project manag-- what the fuck. Oh my god?? Is THIS what Yggdrasil's doing? WAIT THAT'S HER LITTLE BROTHER, SHE RECOGNIZES THAT SUIT. If you have Akira and Takako working together I feel that a lot more is viable here, you could compare and contrast Akira's ideals and Takako's. You can def. challenge Takako's ideology that a little risk and loss now is worth the gains that studying Helheim will grant in the future. Akira can act as audience substitute, basically. She's here to yell "SUPERVISOR KURESHIMA, WITH ALL DUE RESPECT, WHAT THE HELL" as takako eventually realizes that… possibly… maybe Akira has a point. She's spent so long chasing the company's bottom line she forgot things like, you know, empathy. The problem is, does she realize this too slowly to do any good? Also, what does Ryumi think about Takako's convictions wavering?

So while we're getting introduced to the main players of the Yggdrasil corporation through Akira, the Beat Rider side asks the questions: Who made these drivers, and why give them out to us? And whats with the strange forest? Which eventually leads us into the Christmas game, and the Yggdrasil base camp incident. Kouta learns considerably less than he did (seriously, how did those scientists not get suspicious) but he does learn: this forest is called Helheim, the scientists here work for yggdrasil, and that the Sengoku is the scientist in charge of this project. And then they realize that kouta isn't a yggdrasil employee and raise the alarm except oh no, that’s the moment that the inves attack and suddenly they have more to worry about. Again, minor changes. Kouta sees his sister at the Yggdrasil base but doesn't get the chance to talk to her, everything else can basically go as it did… incluuuding Hase.

Okay. Hase.

Here's how this works. His driver gets broken, okay, fine. Jo doesn't abandon him right away. Even if he's kind of an aggressive musclehead, they've still been working together for a while. But she's not enough to fight alone, and Hase can see that it's really only a matter of time before Jo's goodwill runs out. So he eats the fruit! And does not turn into a monster right away. Instead, it gives him the power that he was looking for this entire time-- he is able to fight on even level as the rest of the armored riders, even though his belt is broken, and it looks like everything is okay. With this, some of the other Beat Riders are considering eating the fruit too. Why's everyone so worried anyways? Besides, they look delicious… however, Micchy points out that Yggdrasil handles the fruits with the utmost caution, and that just because there are no visible harmful effects doesn't mean that they aren't dangerous, etc.

Kouta and Akira also sit down to have a talk about the driver over dinner one night-- they've both been kind of keeping secrets from each other. Akira tries to convince Kouta to stop using the driver because she knows that it's dangerous but isn't sure if Kouta knows that (remember, last time she saw Kouta using the driver in person was Episode 2 shenanigans) -> Kouta shows his sister that yeah, he knows that this isn't a joke, but he wants to help people like she raised him to do. Right now, they need the drivers to fight. Akira relents because he's right, but promises him that after the immediate crisis is over, they're going to have to have another talk about this. Kouta plans to bring his sister to the Gaim garage so that she can brief everyone on everything she's overheard in her the short time she's been working as Takako's assistant, but that'll have to wait until the weekend when she's free. Meanwhile, important stuff is going on in the rest of the city. Show that the beat riders have been losing their audience because of a sudden string of disappearances in Zawame (caused by ppl eating the fruits), and the police are encouraging most people to stay home. Not a lot of people are willing to go outside anymore-- they're scared, and rightfully so. Inves attacks are growing more frequent.

This is pretty frustrating for most of the Beat Riders, especially because people are telling them to break it up and just go home too. More and more Inves are showing up, too… And then some official or something shows up one day and says that until ZPD solves the mystery of the disappearances, the stages are going to be closed. And this is when Hase snaps. See, Hase has been using the belt for a while, so he's built up some immunity to the Helheim fruit's effects. (He doesn't lose it immediately like Yuuya did) But it's still not enough. He'd been acting erratically. More aggressive, recently. And today's the last straw. Hase gets into an argument with the official, it starts getting ugly, Jo steps in between them and…. Hase transforms into an Inves. People are taking pictures of it and everything-- even though the Beat Riders Hotline shuts down the live camera feed quickly, its not fast enough. And Hase goes after Jo. Kouta and Mai run over to pull him off of her and he runs off and everyones going???????

Hase holes up in a warehouse somewhere and mostly transforms back except for hand and he's terrified, he doesn't know what's going on. Jo finds him first and yells at him HEY WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT, DUDE which, while totally understandable, does nothing for Hase's stress levels. He transforms into an Inves and runs out onto the street, where the others, still searching for Hase, stumble onto him. They end up fighting near Charmant and Oren comes out to see what the fuss was all about, he ends up joining the fight. Hase's lashing out in fear and pain but also he's putting civilians at risk, so the Beat Riders are forced to fight him even though they're well-aware that they can't just like, do a murder. Meanwhile, Keiko gets cornered in Helheim by Youko and Takako, and she is captured. Takako leaves halfway into the battle because she gets word that they've tracked down a Beat Rider that became an Inves and she has to take care of it ASAP. Kouta, Mai, and Jo are still fighting Hase (and also Oren, who doesn't really know what's going on and is trying to kill the inves) without actually trying to fight Hase when Takako shows up. She tells them that that Inves is no longer human and tries to put an arrow right through him, with intent to kill. When the smoke clears…

Jo falls to her knees, because she protected Hase. In the shocked silence afterwards, Jo tells Hase to run. She doesn't know whats going on! And maybe Hase can be kind of a jerk sometimes, and really annoying, he's still her friend, and she doesn't want to see him die. Hase regains some degree of control over his transformation and he backs away, runs off. Takako tries to go after him but is blocked by Kouta, who tells them to get Jo out of there and he'll handle the white armored rider. Spoiler alert: he can't handle the white armored rider, but he bought enough time for the rest of them to get out. Kouta is taken in by Yggdrasil.

I think this is a good place to stop for now, so I'll do more later. Okay, see you around!

#gaim thoughts;

[purplesurveys]

674

Do you listen to music while you fill out surveys? I have moods where I can and moods where I can’t. But when I do listen to music while taking surveys, I can only ever listen to lo-fi tracks because they’re super chill and great as background sound. Right now is one of the times I have them on.

In the past week, what song have you listened to the most often? I think I’ve mostly been stressed about updates on the virus, so I actually haven’t been listening to any music all week. This is the first time I’ve sat down and let myself listen to my go-to lo-fi playlist.

What was the last thing you shared with someone else? I shared some of my dinner with my dog, if that counts.

While playing video games, do you prefer being first or second player? Second, because I definitely don’t know how to play most video games all that well haha. I’d rather be the second player just cluelessly/aimlessly following around.

What is the most difficult word for you to pronounce? I cannot pronounce ‘bureaucracy’ for the life of me. ‘Mirror’ can also be a bitch but because i watch too much American media, my Filipino ass just goes right ahead and says it as ‘mirr.’

What did you have to do for the last homework you were assigned? The last homework I turned in before the lockdown happened was the weekly article I had to submit for my business reporting class. I gotta say, as a mostly introverted journalism student, I’m SO GLAD there’s been a way out of having to do interviews and produce articles haha. I see you looking out for me for once, universe.

You’ve planned a roadtrip. Where are you going, and who’s coming too? Tagaytay. It’s always a good destination for a chill roadtrip that’s not too far, doesn’t require a full tank of gas, and not too much of a hassle. I’m bringing my college clique with me – JM, Luisa, Jo, Aya, Kate, Kezhia, Blanch – and Gabie, too.

Do you have an overactive imagination? I have little to zero imagination. I mean I guess I like thinking of scenarios, but beyond that me and creativity just don’t mesh well at all.

What was the last important thing that you thought about? That five minutes ago it was time for me to put eye drops on my left eye once again. That eye been working well in the last few weeks, so I had it checked by an opthalmologist, who said there’s most likely a scar somewhere in my eyeball and proceeded to prescribe drops for me.

Generally, do you call people, or wait for them to call you? I would never call people first other than Gabie. Thankfully mostly everyone I know hates calls as well and would never call first, so no one ever calls me either.

On average, how many texts do you send out each day? On a normal day, maybe 50-100 texts? It’s my main mode of communication with my girlfriend, but it also depends on how busy we are during the day.

If a cop pulled you over for speeding, how would you respond? I don’t think speeding is a traffic violation here because 1) the congestion EVERYWHERE is horrible and the traffic is a crawl all day long, and 2) I’ve seen people drive like maniacs on expressways and they never get pulled over for it. On the hypothetical instance that I do get stopped for speeding, I’d obey and apologize for it, and just hope they aren’t rude as fuck.

Has anyone ever questioned your sanity? I have questioned it MANY, many times in the past, mostly when I was in my early teens and still battling with a lot of anger, depression, and a lot of other emotions like I’m guessing most teens do.

How many people do you depend on? As much as I’m not the closest with my parents I do depend on them for basically everything. For now.

How many people do you think depend on you? I dunno if there’s anyone that does. I rather they don’t - I’m pretty unstable.

What is the worst color combination? I’d imagine red and purple to look so jarring.

Have you ever injured yourself walking around in the dark? I don’t think so.

When you get a papercut, how do you react? I thankfully haven’t gotten one in a while, but in the past I’ve usually never noticed the moment it happens, and I only ever find out when the pain hits like a few hours later. That said, I don’t really have a choice but to sigh and grit my teeth through the pain for the next few days.

Can you type without looking down at the keyboard? Yes. The only time I do is when I have to use the keys that aren’t letters, like |, }, and $.

At what age did you develop an interest in the opposite [or same] sex? Opposite sex: Probably literally never. I did attend soirees in high school and got invited to a senior ball – but these were only because I did what I thought a high school girl was supposed to do. I was never genuinely interested in boys. Same sex: I’d say Grade 6, when I had a feeling that I had a crush on Andi.

Are you or members of your family religious? It’s safe to say my entire family – both sides – is devoutly Catholic. They share Bible verses, go to Church, say a prayer before meals, all that crap. I am definitely not. I’ve seen so many people use the religion stuff to justify their being an asshole/hypocrite/both, so it was very for me to let all the bullshit facade go from a young age.

What is your opinion on religions other than your own? They’re valid, especially if it helps one become a better person. Don’t use it to strip others of their human rights, though.

What’s so scary about clowns, anyway? The make-up makes them humans that do not look like humans, and that has always been unsettling for us I think.

When was the last time you acted like someone you’re not? I don’t really do this; I like wearing my heart on my sleeve.

Have you ever wished that something bad would happen to someone else? LMAO yep from time to time.

When was the last time that you cleaned your room? My room is generally clean. My mom likes keeping the entire house tidy, so I just help her out and do my part for her mild OCD.

How many hats do you own/wear? I have one sun hat but it was an impulse buy. I’ve never worn it out because IT’S JUST SO BIG AND FLOPPY and I hate wearing stuff that’s flamboyant enough to give me attention.

What was the last thing that you printed? The aforementioned business news article I had to submit.

Did the last song you listened to hold any special meaning? I love the song, it’s profound and beautifully written but it’s also a particularly sad one, and it’s not one of the songs I’d want to be attached to because that would just make me sad all the time. The song was Hayley Williams’ Leave It Alone.

Are you experiencing problems within a current relationship? No, not at all.

When you’re upset, who do you turn to? Depends on the problem. For most crises I’d turn to Gabie, but sometimes I’d talk to Angela, and sometimes I’d keep to myself. Does winter weather depress you? I’ve never experienced winter. I always say that I have a feeling I’d like it because I like being cold and hot chocolate and wearing socks and feeling fuzzy, but now that I think about it, given how miserable Christmas already makes me, I feel like winter may probably just be the worst thing ever for me.

Who was the last person that you called? Gab, just before she fell asleep a few hours ago.

What product was being advertised on the last commercial you saw? A website for online shopping. It played before a YouTube video.

Do you ever wonder who sings the catchy commercial jingles? I don’t care for them, tbh. When you think about your last relationship, what song comes to mind? I Forget Where We Were by Ben Howard reminds me of my first stint with Gab. Six years ago when we first got together, she introduced the song to me and was being emotional to me about it, and I remember feeling unsettled right off the bat with her sharing such a somber song. I never really got over that feeling and to this day I still listen to it only when I’m sad.

Are there any lyrics to describe your current crush/relationship? Maybe if I wanted to think about it, but I don’t care to right now. <– Same <- Also same. I hate survey questions that make me think of lyrics on the spot.

Who in your life makes you the most uncomfortable? [continued from like a day and a half ago, lmao] My mom has comments and criticisms for everyone and everything, so I always find myself getting anxious around her.

Do you ever receive comments on your weight? That’s literally the greeting of choice in Filipino culture. No one here ever says “hi!” they all just remark how fat or thin you got from the last time they saw you.

Is there anything that you do just to make other people happy? There isn’t any one thing that I do. I’ve realized the people around me have different needs for them to be happy, so if I’m able to and if I’m mentally stable myself, I do those things for them.

When you need a temporary escape, what do you do? Open Tumblr and take a survey or two. If I don’t feel like it, I go on YouTube and watch Friends recaps.

What was the last lie that you believed in? If I believed in it I wouldn’t know it was a lie, if that makes sense.

How long did your last feelings of heartbreak last? I stopped actively mourning for Nacho (i.e. crying randomly while in school, listening daily to the playlist I curated to deal with his passing) around two months after he passed, but I would be lying if I said the heartbreak isn’t there anymore. I still think of him every day, and it makes me sad every day.

Is there any sport that you would want to learn to play? Volleyball would be cool to learn.

What band would you most like to meet? Paramore, obviously. Or One Direction, if they still count :((

Do you ever have difficulty opening pill-bottle caps? I mean I’ve never really had to, so I wouldn’t know if I’d find it hard.

Do you gain weight around the holidays? My metabolism’s always been pretty fast so even if I do eat a lot during the holidays, it’s barely noticeable. 

Are you related to anyone famous, or to any historical figure? I’m related to one of the Filipinas who sewed the first Philippine flag; to a historian whose works are now widely used in history courses; and the diplomat who represented the Philippines in the signing of the Treaty of Paris. As a kid I often thought my love for history was rather odd (because no other kid seemed to like it), but now I have a reason to think it has always run in my blood. Today I’m related to a political clan in my maternal grandfather’s home province, but I wouldn’t use ‘famous’ as the word for them.

If it was an option, would you take a trip into outer space? Oh yeah absolutely. I wanted to be an astronaut when I was a kid.

What was the last thing that you wrote down [with a pen/pencil]? I practiced my high school’s penmanship, both because I really do practice it from time to time so I don’t end up being rusty, and because Andrew is dating Leigh, a friend from high school, in the weirdest crossover episode ever, and he is currently invested into learning our script hahaha.

Has anyone told you that you have a nice smile? Sure.

Are you uncomfortable with being photographed? Yeah ugh I hate it, especially when I have to be photographed or posed all by myself.

How vivid are your memories? Very vivid. I have a number of memories from every age, most of which I can remember pretty much as clear as day, from where I was down to the conversations that took place.

What’s the earliest you’ve woken up in the past week? Like 7:30 AM.

How many people have you talked to today? I’m too lazy to count so I’ll just name them: my mom, dad, sister, Gabie, JM, Apple, Hannah, Rick, Reiven, Ed, Kate, Laurice, and Abby. I’m also in Messenger group chats for each class I’m part of this sem, and all day we’ve been talking about how we’ll move forward now that my school has suspended online classes as well, so long story short I’ve talked to a buuuunch of people.

What was the last reason behind why you went to the hospital? Haven’t been in one since I was admitted myself a decade ago for a low platelet count, which we nearly thought was dengue.

When journaling, are you honest when documenting your feelings? Yes, I get super honest in this blog because this is the only place where I can be that way, and that’s why I’m super hesitant to open this up to anyone.

If you have a journal, do you ever worry others might find it? Gab asks me about it every now and then and it innately makes me anxious haha. Outside of her, I don’t think anyone in my circle would ever check for surveys on Tumblr.

When you go camping, do you sleep in a tent or an RV? I’ve never camped before but I think an RV would be convenient.

What’s one ridiculous thing that you do? Before I eat fried chicken, I will always peel off the breading/skin first so I can save it for last. I don’t like the actual meat, so I’ll only eat some of it and give the rest to my dog. My mom has since called the chicken skin portion my ‘finale,’ so I eventually adopted the term as well haha.

Do you feel that you must wear make up to be attractive? No dude. I never wear makeup and I’ve always felt confident, looks-wise.

What was the last thing [other than the keyboard] that you touched? My phone, just now. 

Ever done anything dangerous while driving with someone else in the car? I’ve texted and taken calls whether I’m alone or driving with someone. If I’m running late I’ll also comb my hair with one hand. I’ve done sexual stuff while I was driving also hahahgdjshgfsf but there’s no need to get into that.

Name someone you wish you could be closer with? The newly-inducted members of our org, and the newest applicants as well! Everybody seems like cool people, and it sucks that the virus has prevented us from getting together.

Have you ever played the license plate game on long car-trips? Sure, but we also have other games to entertain us because car trip games can get boring pretty fast.

Are you a secretive person, or are you open with your thoughts? I have secrets but I’m very open about them if they happen to be raised. Like with me, all you have to do is ask haha.

What is the worst question that someone could ask you? Those dumb ones on surveys that ask if I’d rather kill my mom or best friend lol.

Do you talk to your pets? Every single time I see him.

Do you have a least favorite day of the year? Either Christmas or New Year’s Eve. The loneliness is something I wouldn’t wish on anybody.

What traits do you look for in a potential BF/GF? I’m demisexual, so I never really compiled a list of traits.

Would you date someone that had a different religion from you? Only if they didn’t let it get in the way of my atheism. You do you, but don’t drag me to your thanksgivings, rituals, holy texts, etc.

Right now, what’s in your bookbag/backpack? I honestly have no idea. I haven’t looked inside for so long HAHAHA

What’s unique about your city or town? We have an elevated part that we call ‘higher [city name]’ because it’s the part of the city that’s on a mountain and a base that we, understandably, call ‘lower [city name]’. I live in the lower area, which is busier and nearer to the metro. I don’t know of any other city in the Philippines where one half is situated higher and another lower.

If you could say something to the world, what would you say? Don’t panic, don’t hoard basic necessities, and don’t be fucking racist.

#survey #surveys

[hamburgergod]

an exciting installment of orange and grapefruit verse, about Dean and Cas’s every day lives as normal college roommates, except Cas is a hybrid between a human and a phoenix harpy. ~2k 

Dean comes back from his last class for the day, and pauses at the foyer when he smells the unmistakably fruity sweet smell that fills the entire house. Also mixed in the air is the tangy scent of alcohol.

“Cas?” Dean calls carefully, because he knows by now to assume it always involves Cas whenever unexpected shit happens around here. He hopes Cas is actually around, and this isn’t another one of his relatives. Anna he can stand, everyone else related to Cas, he’d rather not.

Thankfully, Cas’s voice calls back from the kitchen. Not very thankfully, Dean hears another voice murmuring alongside Cas’s.

“What’s that smell?” Dean asks, and walks into—

—Cas arguing with a short, blonde guy. “—don’t need all this,” Cas continues, gesturing at the bottles and bottles of deep red liquid that now fills up the entire kitchen counter space. Cas glances at Dean, and sets his eyes firmly back on the man standing in front of him.

The man—the harpy, probably—sighs with a shrug. “Can’t believe I’m being treated like this,” he says woefully. “I traveled thousands of miles lugging these heavy things to share some of my best brew with you, and yet—”

“Balthazar, please,” Cas replies sharply, and Dean raises an eyebrow at the name. Definitely another relative, then. “I appreciate your thought, but I don’t—”

“Drink harpy stuff? Oh, come off of it, Cassie. You drank this stuff before,” Balthazar says flippantly, and the way Cas squares his shoulders at the comment immediately has Dean disliking Balthazar. 

“Not anymore,” Cas replies dryly. 

There’s an uncomfortable tension in the air now, and one that Dean’s obviously not attuned to since he has no idea what the fuck they’re actually talking about.

“Hi, I’m Dean,” Dean says with a tight smile, and both Cas and Balthazar turn to him with a blink, like they hadn’t expected the human to butt in. Being a distraction aside, Dean half-expected it from this dick, but he didn’t think Cas would be so riled up enough to forget about him completely.

Balthazar narrows his eyes in distaste. Oh good, he’s one of those cousins. “I know who you are,” he says. It’s amazing how he can say this and have it sound like how dare you interrupt us you filthy bug instead. 

“Balthazar,” Cas hisses, but Balthazar doesn’t bat an eye.

“Anyway, I just need you to taste it,” Balthazar says with an easy shrug. “Let me know how it is.”

Cas’s jaw clenches like he wants to say something, but his shoulders slump in defeat. “Have a safe flight back.”

True to his words, Cas doesn’t drink any of the stuff. He tells Dean to “go ahead” whenever he wants, as long as Dean criticizes it like Balthazar had wanted. He gives a fair warning to water it down beforehand, since it’ll be too strong for a human. 

He’s not sure what to take from that, gauging from his conversation with Balthazar, and besides, with how dad used to be, Dean’s always been... reluctant to take up drinking as a regular hobby himself. 

So he just... doesn’t open any of them. He’s not sure he trusts Balthazar enough to drink anything he’s made, anyway. When Dean tells Cas this, he laughs and says that if he had to pick one thing to trust Balthazar for, it would be his brewing skills.

Cas still doesn’t drink any of the stuff, though. And it continues to be that way, until it isn’t anymore, on one Saturday evening.

Dean comes home, high in spirit after a LARPing session gone excellent to his favour. He’s pretty sure he and Charlie can take on Jo the next time they meet, once and for all. Which is seriously awesome, because this campaign’s lasted far longer than any of them had expected, and it’s about time they put an end to this long battle.

“’S’up, man,” Dean says to Cas, who’s facing the TV as he surfs the channel.

Cas gives a noncommittal grunt, and sips something out of a mug. Dean wrinkles his nose as he gets a waft of the smell, strong enough to float all the way back to where Dean’s standing. He peeks over, and yep, it’s the same red stuff that’s been on their kitchen counter for weeks. 

“You okay?” Dean asks, sliding his backpack off of his back and settling on the couch across from Cas.

Cas blinks back from the TV, his eyes eerily unfocused even as he stares in Dean’s general direction. He shrugs, and takes another sip.

It’s not really a look Dean likes on him, to be honest.

“Hey now,” Dean gestures at the mug, and Cas glances down.

“You need to water it down more if you want to try it,” Cas replies. “It’s too strong for you.”

“You’re drinking it, though.”

Cas wrinkles his nose. “I’m not human, Dean. Not completely.”

Duh. Dean knows that. He’s just not sure why Cas sounds all barb-wired about it. Sure it’s not headline news that Cas gets offended at unexpected things, but not like... this.

Cas must’ve gone out to buy the half-full can of tonic water in the fridge, because Dean definitely didn’t. He pours a little more into the mug Cas hands over to him, and tries sipping at the drink, grimacing at how strong it still is. He pours the rest of it in there, and tries again. It’s not that bad now; just as sweet as it smells. Strong, too, even with the whole can of tonic water in there. 

They watch TV together for a while; it’s Dr. Phil, something about illegitimate children and family drama crap. Dean doesn’t give the mug back.

Cas bristles in his seat, and Dean thinks he’s about to go get another mug full of the stuff, but he just heads to the washroom. Which is good, since Dean hasn’t thought that far ahead about how else he’s going to keep this stuff away from Cas, if possible.

By the time Dean’s contemplating on whether dumping all those bottles in the kitchen down the drain is crossing a line or not, Cas slumps back into the couch. He doesn’t ask for the mug back, so Dean just takes a helpless sip out of it to have something to do. Dr. Phil’s voice and dramatic music fills the room.

“Can I tell you something?”

Cas has really bright blue eyes. Dean never thought of himself as having a type before, but lately, he’s been developing a slight bias. “Sure.”

“I hate being a Half,” Cas says, his eyes wide.

Dean blinks.

“No, that’s not it,” he continues, fixing his eyes to the wall in front of him. “I don’t care that I’m a Half. At least.. I don’t think I do.”

“Um, okay.”

“But I hate being called a Half. Harpies always refer to themselves as ‘harpies’, you know.” That seems reasonable enough. “Except when they’re talking about...” 

He makes a vague gesture towards himself. Oh. 

“I never get referred to as a harpy. Only a Half. The only exceptions are my closest kin, who don’t think of me as human at all.”

Dean’s not sure what to say to that, probably because he’s only ever been raised as a human. He fumbles around with how to properly respond, but Cas is thankfully not done talking.

“I suppose it’s good that we have the distinction, in a way. I’m not a full harpy. It’s... not who I am, Dean. But I’m not a full human, and that’s not who I am, either.” Cas sinks a little more into the couch. “But they always make Half sound so...”

“Wrong?” Dean offers.

“Yes,” Cas replies quietly. “Like it’s dirty. Like my entire existence is a bane to theirs, as if I chose to exist this way.”

Dean clutches the mug in his hand. He almost wishes these harpies were here with them, if only to give them a piece of his mind.

“It’s almost funny,” Cas says, sounding like the opposite of amused. “They hate me for being part human, but they demand that I keep my being a harpy to myself. Associating myself with the same thing that they are... personally offends them.”

Dean wants to reach over, and just—do something. Anything to will that dejected look away from Cas’s face. He remembers a lecture he had the other day.

“Grapefruits,” Dean blurts.

Cas stops looking miserable for a split second, at least. He stares at Dean with wide eyes, then blinks as he tries to process what was just said, which settles into a confused frown. “What?”

Dean sets the mug down, his face as red as the alcohol. “I learned in genetics the other day, that, um, you know, grapefruits are a cross between oranges and pomelos. So I came home and looked this stuff up, ‘cause I thought, that’s pretty cool. I didn’t know that, y’know?” he shrugs. “And apparently, back when they first found grapefruits, people couldn’t decide on whether it was more of an orange or a pomelo. They argued all the time about which one grapefruit should be called as, right, and they actually decided that it’s a pomelo, and yeah, it tastes and looks more like a pomelo than an orange, but a grapefruit is not a pomelo. It’s a, it’s a fucking grapefruit.”

Cas squints at him. “So... I’m the grapefruit.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dean conitnues. “And funny thing is, until they decided to call it pomelo, they mostly referred to grapefruits as the forbidden fruit or some shit. They couldn’t wrap their little heads around the fact that just because grapefruits have qualities from both oranges and pomelos, it couldn’t be anything other than an orange or a pomelo, depending on who you asked at the time. It was only years after being called a pomelo that grapefruit got sorted as its own thing—as a grapefruit. See where I’m coming from? Yeah?” He makes a juggling gesture, and Cas’s frown deepens.

“I sense that you’re trying to make me feel better,” he says, “but I’m not sure how this is supposed to make me feel better.”

Dean bites his lips, and tries again. “Okay, look, what I’m saying is. You’re not an orange or a pomelo. You’re not—a ‘forbidden fruit’ either,” he air-quotes. “You’re a grapefruit. You’re, you know, Castiel. Cas.” Dean bumps Cas’s knees with his own. 

Castiel frowns down at his hands, but looks less confused than before. Good, okay, progress. 

“Okay, uh, oh!” he snaps his fingers. “Easier example. Everyone knows you can make orange by mixing red and yellow together, right? But nobody calls orange a red-wannabe, or a yellow-wannabe. Nobody points at an orange, I don’t know, shirt, and say ‘hey, look at that half-red half-yellow shirt’. It’s just a fucking orange shirt. 

“And yeah, some people might argue that the shirt is more red or more yellow or whatever, and that’s their own damn opinion, fine, but that doesn’t make reddish orange or yellowish orange more orange than the other. And just because some, uh, primary... colour purists say you can’t call orange for what it is, doesn’t mean orange is going to stop being orange. You can still be just... orange,” Dean finishes weakly. He probably should’ve stopped at the grapefruit example.

“So now you’re saying I am an orange,” Cas replies.

“Not the fruit, Cas, the—” Dean starts, but stops at the slightly amused smile Cas is wearing. 

Cas huffs, and leans forward. “Grapefruits,” he repeats carefully. Dean nods.

“D’you see what I’m getting at, here?”

“I think so,” he says, and good. That’s good. Better answer than a ‘no’, at least.

Dean reaches over to pat him on the back. “Just, keep being you, Cas,” he offers. The clench in Cas’s jaw has loosened up. “No need to be anything else.”

Cas stares at him with his bright blue eyes and his widened smile. Their knees are still touching from when Dean bumped them together.

There’s a rustle and the sound of cloth ripping, and Dean blinks up from Cas’s face to see wings, and has seconds to respond to Cas’s opening arms and wings by opening his own arms. 

“Hey, hey, alright,” Dean says in what he hopes is a soothing voice against the warmth wrapped around him. Cas’s hair tickles the side of his face.

“Thank you, Dean,” Cas mumbles into Dean’s ear. He tries to not shiver, and responds with a tight squeeze before they part. Cas’s feathers sweep at his cheeks and down under his chin as his wings fold back up, almost like they’re caressing his face for a second there. He supposes he can’t help it; not like Dean can control every single strand of his hair.

Cas turns the TV off, and Dean cooks them a late dinner. Cas helps with the dishes after, and Dean heat themselves two cups of hot chocolate to sip at.

The mug of red sits on top of the coffe table, forgotten.  

#orange and grapefruit verse #destiel #spn #au #my writing #ficlet #tag game strong with this one :P #alcohol cw #today i'm saying 'screw saving fics in my drafts out of fear' and posting this #i'll add these to AO3 at some point prob after another installment