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thelostgirl21 · 8 months

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Gotta love when people tell me sapioromantism/sapiosexuality isn't real...

While at the same time acknowledging that demiromantism/demisexuality exists.

So... You're telling me it's okay to be exclusively able to romantically fall in love with/be sexually turned on by an emotional bond you share with someone.

But you can't frakking be exclusively able to romantically fall in love with/be sexually turned on by an intellectual one?!?!?!

I mean I'm a frakking demisexual (not sapiosexual), and you've got zero problem convincing me sapiosexuality is real!

I feel a sexual rush SPECIFICALLY over the way I am emotionally relating with another person (regardless of the type of emotional relation), for frak's sake!

Imagining how it must feel to want to fuck someone over the way our brains work/connect together is super easy, barely an inconvenience! How is that not real?!?!?!

For the romantic aspect, all I've got to do is replace "wanting to fuck someone" by "having a crush on them", and voilà! Sapioromantism!

And yeah, I know that it's often phrased as "being attracted to highly intelligent people", but that's like saying that demi is "being attracted to highly loving people".

Guys, the way we perceive intelligence and emotions is a very intimate phenomenon. And I personally find friendships as sexually attractive as romances.

I've never been more likely to want to fuck a person I've got romantic feelings for, than I've been likely to want to fuck someone I've got platonic or alterous feelings for.

But I need to emotionally connect.

And there are many different types of intelligence a human being can express that makes them romantically or sexually attractive.

Emotional intelligence, spatial intelligence, musical intelligence, logical intelligence...

It's much harder to quantify intelligence than it is to qualify it, and sapiosexuals do have intelligence preferences.

On the TV show "The Witcher", sapioromantic Jaskier appears to have a romantic preference for (or be strongly romantically attracted to, at least) emotional intelligence and insightfulness, if you're wondering how sapioromantic attraction might look like.

I'm actually exclusively sexually attracted to people that gives off what I call a "geeky vibe". You know, that look like they tend to get really passionate about a specific subject/discipline they deeply enjoy (videogames, movies, series, science, music theory, rocks... Whatever it is!) and "geek out" about it on a regular basis.

My partner is insanely into electric cars technology, and each time he starts talking about it, the research that's being done on recycling batteries, etc., he goes from a usually introverted personality to really animated, passionate, and expressive one; his eyes get that light and happiness to them, his skin gets slightly flushed, there's a unique musicality to the verbal flow of his words, etc.

He's also a D&D player, and that's insanely hot to me (although I've never personally played D&D)!

Seriously, do yourself a favor, and watch a bunch of people play D&D together. If they're really into their characters, their quests, and have a good DM, it's pure geek porn!

Those are huge turn ons! You want to have sex tonight? Get your geek on, babe! That's what I'm talking about!

I don't care whatever gender you have, as long as you're a geek!

That's what I'm sexually into. Geeks. Not men, women, or people outside the binary. Geeks.

Actually, if "geekiness" is considered as a form of intelligence, perhaps I could be considered somewhere on the whole sapiosexual spectrum (I just can't say specifically what type of intellect geeks display that triggers the attraction), too!

Because developing an emotional bond with a non-geek fails to trigger any sense of sexual attraction.

I need to find you aesthetically attractive (let's face it, demi-pansexuals can be as "shallow", when it comes to being attracted to someone's looks as people from any other sexual orientations. There's just a secondary delay for us to get there), feel those "geeky vibes" emanating from you, and be emotionally bonded to you based on high levels of trust (specifically), in order to find you sexually attractive.

Those are the mains patterns I've noticed are a constant for me.

So yeah... Sapioromantism and sapiosexuality not being real? Get out!

#Sapioromantic #Sapiosexual #Aromantic #Asexual #Demiromantic #Demisexual #Greyromantic #Greysexual #Sapioromantism #Sapiosexuality #Aromantism #Asexuality #Demiromantism #Demisexuality #Greyromantism #Greysexuality #My posts #My thoughts #Personal

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inevitably-johnlocked · 7 months

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Not Johnlock but a general question: Does Sapiosexuality fall under the m-spec umbrella? Do you know anything about this subject? I was thinking about it but couldn't find a relevant article anywhere. I know what Sapiosexuality is, but I wanted to know about the details.

Hey Lovely!

LOL first off, I had NO idea what M-spec was, so I had to look it up and it makes TOTAL sense why sapiosexuality is confusing in that respect.

Secondly, my knowledge on sapiosexuality is very limited, but I imagine it CAN fall under the m-spec umbrella? Just logically speaking from my brain of course, but I also took 36 years to figure out I was panro-ace, so I'm probably not the best person to ask, hahaha.

I dunno, to ME it makes sense that it's under that umbrella, but I am not the authority on it, LOL.

Any Sapios able to clarify for Gregor what they think?

#steph replies #chatting with lovelies #sapiosexuality #sexuality #my thoughts #are probably wrong

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mapsofinnerspace · 5 months

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En vista de que he recuperado mi antiguo blog y de que estaré publicando parte de su contenido, me parece pertinente hacer algunas aclaraciones y dar algo de contexto sobre las personas y las situaciones que me rodeaban en aquella época.

Ese blog estuvo activo entre el 2007 y 2008, es decir, cuando estaba en la preparatoria y recién ingresando a la universidad. La temática es generalmente sombría, ya que fue ahí el comienzo del colapso total de mi vida presente y futura.. fue ahí cuando comenzaron las crisis de ansiedad y depresión, debido a que mis muy manipuladores y disfuncionales padres me obligaron a estudiar primero en un instituto tecnológico/científico donde todo era matemáticas, y posteriormente en una universidad económico-administrativa que obviamente no tenía la más mínima relación conmigo, y ambos lugares me hacían demasiado infeliz y miserable.

Previo a eso, entre el 2002-2004 tuve una época bastante placentera y tranquila, donde despertó mi verdadero ser y floreció libremente mi personalidad.

Fue también en esos momentos cuando accidentalmente descubrí el continente de la sapiosexualidad gracias al magnífico y talentoso Brandon Boyd. Fue él quien ocasionó que mi mundo se revolucionara por completo. Mi mente estalló ante la presencia de la admiración total por los talentos y cualidades de un ser humano del género opuesto. Fue su canción “Talk Shows On Mute” la que más marcó mi existencia de por vida.

Como describí en la sección de bienvenida de mi Instagram junto con la siguiente fotografía..

“Brandon Boyd. I've had a huge crush on him since 2002-2003. My role model, the one person I’ve truly looked up to for almost two decades, a unique level of admiration. He’s been my main influence in life and I can easily say I wouldn’t be who I am today without him. I am a clear reflection of his existence.. his thoughts, his emotions, his beliefs, his aesthetics, his art. He helped me discover and shape myself, and I will honor him forever.”

Sin embargo, Brandon siempre fue un concepto lejano, a pesar de tener cierto contacto con él debido a mis inusuales, extraños y efímeros destellos de buena suerte, y a nuestro amigo en común Mike Einziger, con quien llevaba algunos asuntos de negocios por MySpace a pesar de mi corta edad.

Brandon era un ser mayor e inalcanzable, alguien surreal y mágico que parecía no pertenecer a mi mundo.

Y fue entonces cuando en el verano del 2005 apareció alguien que lo cambió todo e hizo que mi mente nuevamente estallara, esta vez ante la sorpresa de la tangibilidad de un encuentro sapiosexual.

Recuerdo que lo vi por primera vez charlando con su grupo de amigos en el pasillo afuera de su salón de clases mientras yo me dirigía al aula de computación. Ese chico alto y delgado, con cabellera de hongo y sonrisa peculiar al que llamaremos Toad 🍄.

A pesar de que físicamente llamó demasiado mi atención, no tenía idea del descubrimiento tan inmenso e importante que estaba a punto de realizar. Ojalá lo hubiera sabido, para poder registrarlo, analizarlo y disfrutarlo el triple.

Toad fue un evento tan impactante en mi vida, que prefiero contar la historia por completo en una publicación independiente. Mientras tanto, dejaré con fines ilustrativos una pequeña y vieja fotografía que encontré de él.

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hibye1800 · 1 year

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When you wanna have an deep intellectual conversation, but you’re attracted to intellectual and deep conversations. So now you’re horny as hell thinking about the intense sex you’d both have…

#me #sapiosexuality

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sapiophile-ocumentr · 4 months

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Judit Polgar, Hungarian chess grandmaster.

#pics from pinterest #intelligence is sexy #sapiophilia #sapiosexuality

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okhellko · 4 months

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To revolt the pretty intercourse is pretty

Ambre Gao

“真正的才华是无法荒废的，才华会一路鞭挞你往前走，让你收敛就会极度痛苦。今天重新读马斯洛的书印证这一观点，他写道智力是需要发泄的，是强烈��达欲的一种，这种表达欲对应起来其实就是对大多数人的一种讥诮。知性美跟智性有什么关系，知性是温和无害，但是聪明人的嘴角总是有一丝若无若有的讥讽，漂亮的脑袋里肯定有绝对锐利和杀伤力，你捂住嘴巴它就不小心从眼神跑出来，掩藏不了。而那些二十来岁就看起来相当世故的人，必然是street smart远高于book smart，情商远高于智商的一类人，最多只是不自知罢了。前者是潜力的一种，后者对成年人来说约等于存量。”

From Trainspotting 1996(pic)

好辣的甜椒(Introduction)

As time goes, an inevitable question unfolds itself, adorned with complete cost and prospects. I look around and contemplate, declaring war to the foreseeable joys and sorrows. Genes for living under the primal rules are rooted with inheritance and evolution. Especially for females under masculinity, it’s their instinct to foresee danger and seek for survival. After all, the reluctant and sluggish ones are eliminated by natural selection. Many women can grasp insight from external phenomena through a single glance, and my vision is even sharper than other fellows.

I scoff at the notion of the so-called "kind and harmless qualified template. " I find it challenging to restrain my excitement for brainstorming, pursuing a pure intellectual balance, and gradually replacing traditional physiological differences and secular notions of happiness, I am building a romantic club by deep thoughts and colorful roses.

To Invade your thoughts, offend your experiences, one needs to join your track.

"I sense horror, I want to have a drink. " This is a closure of the last word from a young scholar in my bachelor institution. Three years later, I accidentally enrolled in a course taught by his colleague Qing Liu. It was said to be a class, but everyone sat around a table, chatting about everything under the sun. The only thing tacitly avoided was the departed, perhaps the School of Political Economy knew far more than we did, but not too much, because "the dead tells no tale. " The Latin name for the round table is Mensa, also the name of a high IQ club from Oxford, implying that people of equal intelligence sit together equally. I wrote about it on the same day two years ago, perhaps understanding the meaning of the round table naturally made me feel a sense of closeness and participation in this course.

A year later, I repick the same sentiment. At the same time, a typhoon hit Shanghai, the lighthouse of the old youth in Paris passed away with Godard, the already dispersed British Commonwealth was on the verge of collapse, absurd social messages continued to come, and meanwhile I ate some fruits. Linked data without proper logic absurdly forms connections in my personal narrative. Sometimes, under the illumination of the macroscopic sky, I think of you, making my emotional mechanism more humane while useless. I always think that one should laugh at the world in all its forms. However with the increase of insights, I think, it’s time to unsheath my blade instead. My world is sinking, my spiritual home in Europe has also perished by its own doing. I am indignant, declaring war, grieving and resolute.

I like you to show your casually confident demeanour like walking a dog, stop writing that united but shameless resentment. The crowd is puzzled, unable to understand profound things. Everyone has their own fulfilment, the difficult part is that you must invent a soothing tone during writing. You are expected to have forgiveness, service awareness, and the duty to protect the dignity of the masses in theory, which makes you extremely clueless and busy. The author's hand hangs in the air, like a lingering hammer, exterminating ignorance or the temptation to mislead the public. To write or not to write? Write. I am reading, with a pen in hand.

My social creed lies only in matching. Only matched knowledge can make me genuinely happy and moved from the bottom of my heart. On the contrary, I allow you to hurt, deceive, and defeat me, but you should never offend me. Intelligence and passion are shrouded in broader ignorance, and many people spend their lives in vain, exhausted from survival to death, just as masses of the disorganised pre-Qin Dynasty thoughts. Therefore, I try to uproot myself and become an agile and reasonably detached person.

If you succeed, criticism is merely an obstacle, not a fact. Because in this world, there are no facts, only positions. Those who cannot obey their own wills have no choice but to obey the others. The superior wisdom is not about fighting for good cards but about what clock we should leaving the gaming table tonight.

Sometimes I face heavy snow alone, sometimes I'm lucky. You would be providential that I am that wrong choice in your life.

逐渐地，一道必选题在我的生活中徐徐铺展，具备完整的代价和前景提要，我环顾而思索，向可预知的喜悲宣战。丛林法则之下生存基因是在传承和进化的。尤其是父系制度女性，那是她们预感危险、求生存的本能，毕竟迟钝的那波人已然被物种淘汰。很多女性对外部事物现象一眼便知，这一眼我比同类更为准狠。

我对“善良无害化的合格模版”嗤之以鼻。我难以克制对于头脑风暴的激动感，追求纯粹的智性抗衡，并希望借此逐步替换掉传统的生理机能差异和世俗意义上的幸福。我营造以思想为准绳、辐射一地浪漫的俱乐部。

侵犯你的思维、冒犯你的经验，就在你的赛道加入你们。

我恐惧，我要喝点酒。这是我的本科学校一位青年学者遗言的结尾。三年后我偶然选修到其同事刘擎的课程，说是上课，其实所有人坐在同一个圆桌天南海北地聊，默契地轻轻避开的只有逝者，或许政经学院知道的远比我们多，但也不会太多，因“死者背负着太多秘密”。圆桌的拉丁语是Mensa，亦是来自英国牛津的高智商俱乐部，意指智力相等的人平等地坐在一起。我曾在前年今日为此发文，或许是了解圆桌的涵义，令我对这门课程有天然的亲切和参与。

又一年后我重新浅酌，与此同时台风登陆上海、巴黎旧青年的灯塔随戈达尔而逝、荒诞的社会讯息接连而至、余晖已散的英联邦摇摇欲坠、我吃了一些水果。毫无逻辑关联的数据诡谲地在我的个人叙事中构成链接，而在宏观天空的照耀下我有时候会想起你，这使我的情绪机制更为人性化但无能。我总认为，应该对百般世态抱以嘲笑。但伴随底蕴的增加，我想，应该向世界亮出我的剑。我的世界在沉沦，我的精神家园欧洲亦已自取灭亡，我愤慨故宣战，我悲恸并坚定。我喜欢你们遛恶俗的自信像遛狗，别再写那团结又无耻的幽怨。

人们神情困惑，无力理解深刻之物。人是有各自去处的，难的是你在写作期间必须发明一种很安抚的语气。你在理论上被期待具有宽恕的修养、服务的自觉、守护群众自尊心的义务，这令人极度茫然、忙碌。作者的手悬于半空中，像迟迟不落的音锤，剿杀愚昧还是妖言惑众? 还写不写了? 写。我在阅读，有一支笔。

我的社交信条只在于匹配。只有匹配的智识能使我自心底愉快和感动，相对的是我允许你伤害、欺骗以及打败我，但是你永远不应当冒犯。人性的聪敏多情都由更广阔的愚昧所笼罩，很多人终生向外诉诸虚妄，疲于生计和死，正如先秦思想所载的乌合之众。因此我尝试将自我连根拔起，成为一名敏捷的人且合理抽身。

若你获取成绩，批评就只是阻碍，而不是事实。因为这个世界没有事实，只有立场，若你不能听命自我，就只能受命于他者，上等智不是争夺好牌，而是今天几点离开游戏桌。我时而面对无人大雪，时而走运，中途还会通知我就是你的败笔。

#young writer #english writing #female writers #artist #writing #Spotify #sapiosexuality #Mensa

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phonemantra-blog · 7 months

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Understanding Sapiosexuality: What Is It and How Does It Work? In a world where various forms of attraction and sexual orientations are becoming increasingly recognized, sapiosexuality is a term that has gained traction. But what exactly is sapiosexuality, and how does it differ from other forms of attraction? In this article, we'll delve deep into the concept of sapiosexuality, and explore its origins, characteristics, and place in today's society. By the end, you'll have a comprehensive understanding of what it means to be sapiosexual. [caption id="attachment_63760" align="aligncenter" width="1280"] what is sapiosexual[/caption] Defining Sapiosexuality Sapiosexuality, at its core, is about being attracted to intelligence. Individuals who identify as sapiosexual are drawn to people who exhibit high levels of intellect and intelligence. For them, the mind is the most alluring aspect of a person. It's important to note that sapiosexuality is not merely valuing intelligence; it's a sexual orientation in which intelligence is the primary or exclusive basis for sexual attraction. People who are sapiosexual may find conversations, ideas, and intellectual engagement to be incredibly arousing and satisfying. But how does sapiosexuality differ from other forms of attraction, such as physical or emotional attraction? Let's explore these distinctions in more detail. Origins and Evolution The concept of sapiosexuality is not a recent development. While it has gained more recognition in recent years, the idea of being attracted to intelligence has roots in human history. The ancient Greeks, for example, highly valued wisdom and intellect, which was considered attractive. Throughout history, societies have varied in their attitudes toward intelligence and attraction. In some cultures, intelligence has been revered, while in others, physical appearance or other attributes took precedence. The recognition and acceptance of sapiosexuality in contemporary society reflect evolving attitudes toward attraction and relationships. Sapiosexuality vs. Other Sexual Orientations It's crucial to distinguish sapiosexuality from other sexual orientations to gain a clearer understanding of what sets it apart. Here's how sapiosexuality compares to some common sexual orientations: Sapiosexuality vs. Physical Attraction Physical attraction is primarily based on a person's appearance and bodily features. Sapiosexuality is focused on a person's intellect, regardless of physical appearance. Sapiosexuality vs. Emotional Attraction Emotional attraction is based on feelings, shared experiences, and emotional connection. Sapiosexuality prioritizes intellectual connection and stimulating conversations as the primary attraction factors. Sapiosexuality vs. Romantic Attraction Romantic attraction involves feelings of love, affection, and the desire for a romantic relationship. Sapiosexuality can coexist with romantic attraction, but it places greater emphasis on intellectual compatibility. Sapiosexuality vs. Sexual Orientation Sexual orientation refers to the gender(s) one is attracted to, such as heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual. Sapiosexuality is not related to the gender of the person but rather to their intellectual qualities. Now that we've established the core characteristics of sapiosexuality and how it differs from other attractions, let's explore some common signs that might indicate someone is sapiosexual. Signs of Sapiosexuality While it's important to remember that attraction is a deeply personal and subjective experience, some common signs may suggest someone is sapiosexual: Intellectual Stimulation: A sapiosexual person is highly stimulated by intellectually engaging conversations and debates. They may find such discussions more arousing than physical intimacy. Love for Learning: They have a strong passion for acquiring knowledge and appreciate individuals who share this enthusiasm. Prioritizing Intelligence: Intelligence is a top priority when considering potential partners. They are drawn to people who demonstrate intelligence, creativity, and wit. Embracing Diverse Forms of Attraction In a world that's increasingly recognizing the fluidity and diversity of human attraction, it's essential to acknowledge and respect all forms of attraction, including sapiosexuality. Here's why: Inclusivity and Acceptance Recognizing sapiosexuality as a valid sexual orientation fosters inclusivity and acceptance for individuals who identify as sapiosexual. It's essential to create a safe and non-judgmental space for everyone to express their unique attractions. Personal Growth Understanding one's sexual orientation, whether it's sapiosexuality or any other, is a part of personal growth and self-discovery. It allows individuals to better understand themselves and their desires. Building Meaningful Relationships Embracing diverse attractions can lead to more meaningful and fulfilling relationships. When people are free to express their true selves, they are more likely to find partners who appreciate them for who they are. Frequently Asked Questions Is sapiosexuality a widely recognized sexual orientation? While sapiosexuality is gaining recognition, it's not as widely acknowledged as some other sexual orientations. It's essential to respect individuals' self-identified orientations. Can someone be both sapiosexual and attracted to physical appearance? Yes, it's possible for someone to experience attraction based on both intellectual and physical qualities. Sexual orientation can be complex and multifaceted. Is sapiosexuality limited to heterosexual individuals? No, sapiosexuality is not limited by gender or sexual orientation. Anyone, regardless of their sexual orientation, can identify as sapiosexual. Can sapiosexual individuals have successful relationships with non-sapiosexual partners? Yes, sapiosexual individuals can have successful relationships with partners who may not identify as sapiosexual. Communication and mutual understanding are key to any relationship. Are there online communities or dating platforms for sapiosexual individuals? Yes, there are online communities and dating platforms where sapiosexual individuals can connect with like-minded individuals who appreciate intellectual compatibility. Can sapiosexuality change over time? Sexual orientation, including sapiosexuality, can be stable for some individuals and fluid for others. It's a personal experience that may evolve. Is sapiosexuality related to intelligence level? Sapiosexuality is more about the appreciation of intelligence and stimulating conversation than the intelligence level itself. It's about connecting on an intellectual level. How can I explore and better understand my sexual orientation? Self-reflection, open conversations with trusted individuals, and seeking support from LGBTQ+ organizations or therapists can help you explore and understand your sexual orientation. Is sapiosexuality considered part of the LGBTQ+ spectrum? Some individuals within the LGBTQ+ community may identify as sapiosexual, but it's not considered a distinct part of the LGBTQ+ spectrum. Sexual orientation is diverse and unique to each individual. What should I do if I face discrimination or lack of understanding due to my sapiosexuality? Reach out to supportive LGBTQ+ organizations, communities, or professionals who can provide guidance and assistance in navigating discrimination or lack of understanding. Conclusion: In conclusion, sapiosexuality represents a unique form of attraction where intellect and stimulating conversations are the primary sources of appeal. While it differs from other sexual orientations, it is equally valid and deserving of respect and recognition. By embracing diverse forms of attraction, we can create a more inclusive and understanding society where everyone's preferences are acknowledged and celebrated.

#brainy_attraction #cerebral_attraction #cognitive_attraction #defining_sapiosexuality #demisexual #intellect_based_attraction #intellect_focused_desire #intellectual_attraction #intellectual_connection #intelligence_based_attraction #intelligence_driven_attraction #sapiosexual_meaning #sapiosexual_orientation #sapiosexuality #understanding_sapiosexuality

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thelostgirl21 · 4 months

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Alright, I might need your help / input on this one...

As some of you know, at some point over the summer, I'd noticed that:

a) Jaskier's LGBTQ+ wiki page was empty (a page had been made, but without any content yet),

b) that Radovid's page wasn't there,

c) that Radskier didn't have any page on the shipping wiki, either;

d) and that the Netflix versions of the characters of Radovid and Vespula were both missing from The Witcher's wiki, also.

Thus, I took the liberty to start filling those pages, doing my best to interpret and make sense of all the information I'd gathered throughout interviews, news articles, etc.

And, as I've explained here, I made one massive mistake of interpretation, that I then attempted to fix by rephrasing things in that manner:

I gave the moderator the explanation in yellow (i.e. the one at the bottom), and they reverted it back exactly to the way it was.

Therefore, I've now, at the very least, attempted to remove one paragraph, and given them the other explanation in yellow (the one at the top), hoping it would at the very least be kept off the wiki.

Because this is the huge mistake I made I was talking about, that was utterly and completely wrong:

Hopefully, they'll keep that paragraph off the page. It if comes back, just know that I no longer agree, at all, with what I'd previously written (yeah, I'll probably never let myself live that one down).

Where I need some input, is to see if you have some ideas on how Jaskier's sapiosexuality might have been supported by the show's narrative, to have it recognized as a valid sexual orientation for the character on the wiki?

Okay, first of all, I probably should say that the moderator appears to have a very strict "to be accepted on the LGBTQ+ wiki, a sexuality must both be shown on screen (through either text or queer subtext), and identified as such by someone working on the show," policy.

At least, that's how I've interpreted it, based on the answers they've given to other people's questions on their wall.

For example, an actor could not be officially claiming that a character is bisexual, pansexual, omnisexual, or polysexual if there's been no evidence, in the show (or the movie, videogame, etc.) that they have the potential to have sex with more than a single gender.

Therefore, I was able to get pansexuality accepted as part of Jaskier's sexual identity in the table, because Vespula tells Jaskier: "I’ve cursed you for chasing tails of every kind. Men, women, dwarves, elves, polymorphous… […] But never have I ever seen you have a crush,” and there was an article stating that Jaskier was a panromantic or pansexual character.

And they've accepted sapioromantism for similar reasons, likely because "crush" is a-spec slang for romantic attraction.

For your personal information, the main ones I personally know and remember are:

Romantic attraction = crush.

Platonic attraction = squish.

Alterous attraction = mesh.

Sensual attraction = lush.

Sexual attraction = smush.

Aesthetic attraction = swish.

So, the whole scene is layered with heavy aromantic subtext, making the claim from Joey Batey that they'd built something very special for their audience - a sapioromantic and sapiosexual connection - be something very tangible on the show.

As someone that watched season 3 having already read that article before, and being overexcited to discover how they'd handled showing the character as being a sapioromantic on screen, I felt like Batey and the writers fully delivered on their promise, and wrote the queer scenes with a queer audience in mind.

But the moderator has refused to accept "panromantic" under Jaskier's romantic identity.

And my guess is that, by having Vespula tell Jaskier that she's never ever seen him have a crush before, then the show only lists the different people that Jaskier has been with sexually.

Reading into the a-spec subtext, we are more or less told that what Jaskier is experiencing for Radovid is a crush (romantic attraction), seemingly based on the way that Jaskier appears to be fascinated by and connecting with Radovid's intelligence and insightfulness (sapio).

Jaskier insists that he doesn't have crushes (aro), thus implying that either it's never happened before, or he's never fully been aware of it happening before.

So, I'm guessing they are saying "Well, the show has failed to show us that he's been romantically involved with people regardless of gender, since they only explicitly identified a single crush that Jaskier has been experiencing on the show, and it's with Radovid (a man).

There's no suggestion, in the narrative itself, that Jaskier could find himself experiencing a crush regardless of a partner gender. We've only seen him crushing on a man."

Therefore the moderator only considers sapioromantic as being a romantic orientation that's been named and that is being backed by the show's narrative, but not panromantic.

At least, that's my theory as to why "panromantic" keeps being refused whenever I've tried putting it in the table, regardless of what Joey Batey himself said in interviews.

Did I ask them why they were refusing panromantic? Yes, I did. But they didn't answer. So, I am left with trying to understand why they've accepted sapioromantic and pansexual, but refused sapiosexual and panromantic, based on the answers that they've provided to other people that appeared to be facing similar issues I had.

Which bring us to the whole "sapiosexual" fiasco.

Sadly, I can't demonstrate that Jaskier is sapiosexual based on the show's narrative alone.

He's seen as being instantly interested in having sex with people's he's just met, and as constantly craving sexual contact to the point where it gets him into trouble.

Hence why even I managed to missed it. I've been so used to read into character behavior as proof of attraction that I totally fell headfirst into that trap!

To the point where, at some point, I was literally thinking that maybe the words that Joey Batey used were

"[We] ensured that these romances are told truthfully — and sensitively and carefully, without resorting to stereotypes… Hopefully we’ve created something that is special, a sapioromantic and sexual [connection] that is as flawed as any other relationship in this show.”

And it was reported as "sapioromantic" and "sapiosexual" by the person writing the article, rather than sapioromantic and sexual (because no official source had confirmed the pairing would be a same gender one back then, and therefore Joey wouldn't have been able to label any gendered aspect of the queer relationship with Radovid yet when the article came out).

But sexual activity can be enjoyed with people for reasons that have nothing to do with finding a partner sexually attractive, and it's not something that can easily be shown on screen, even through the use of asexual subtext.

Unless Jaskier suddenly launches into some kind of educational presentation on what asexuality is, the different types of physical attraction asexual typically experience (aesthetic, sensual...), the different types of asexuals (sex-favorable, sex-neutral, sex-repulsed...) and how each of them might choose to express their sexuality, "canon sapiosexuality" is virtually impossible to clearly represent on screen!

To have any hope of being represented by characters in the field of TV, movie, and videogame entertainment, some sexualities have little to no choice but to rely almost exclusively on what the actors and the writers (or other people involved in the creation of the narrative) of the show are saying their intention was for the character.

I understand the whole concept behind the "death of the author", I do.

I'm 100% fine with people claiming that Poe Dameron being romantically attracted towards Finn is canon based on the queer subtext the actor used in his acting and him saying that he was playing a romance despite the studios disagreeing with that interpretation.

Why? Because the performance was queer coded, the studio knew it, they still released it, and if you queer-bait your audience, you better believe they have every right to claim a character as theirs.

But in the context where we're talking about the intent of the writers and the actor of portraying such a little known and represented romantic and sexual orientation that is part of the aromantic and asexual spectrum, I'm extremely saddened at the thought of people going "Well, we'll just ignore that the character was ever intended to be sapioromantic or sapiosexual, and only give validity to what's explicitly shown on screen!"

Look Lucifer has been seen as being sexually involved with people of any gender identity on the show, but he's never once announced "I'm a bisexual devil!"

It's the actors and the writers that confirmed it.

On the show, we can only interpret his behavior as being compatible with the label bisexuality. But his sexuality was still only explicitly named off screen.

Same with Kaidan Alenko in the videogame Mass Effect, and I *think* Magnus Bane in Shadowhunters.

We interpret bisexual behavior as proof enough of bisexuality, and trust the writers and the actors' words.

But what is "sapioromantic behavior" or "sapiosexual behavior". How can one objectively differentiate it from alloromantic and allosexual behavior, by solely showing it.

If we don't require onscreen bisexual representation to use the label to trust that the people working on the show are using the right label...

...why is it so important to have people say "I'm sapioromantic" or "I'm sapiosexual" before it can be considered canon.

Jaskier was labelled as sharing a sapioromantic and sapiosexual relationship with Radovid off screen. And the show's narrative is 100% compatible with real life sapioromantic and sapiosexual behavior.

So, I personally find it extremely unfair for us to be expected to go one step further, by explicitly finding ways to prove that Jaskier can only be sexually attracted towards people that he establishes an intellectual connection with on screen through the show's narrative itself.

It also makes "allosexuality" the default sexuality, where everyone having sex with a partner can be assumed to be sexually attracted to them unless they find a way to explicitly prove otherwise.

And it requires that the representation of the characters on the asexual spectrum be explicit to the point of needing to name the label, when we virtually never require any gay, bisexual, or even pansexual (has Deadpool ever explicitly stated he was pansexual without breaking the fourth wall? I'd have to check!) to explicitly state their label, just be shown as having sex with more than a single gender identity.

i.e. Engaging in a behavior that is compatible with their sexual orientation.

Jaskier's behavior is compatible with a sapiosexual orientation.

So yes, the idea that you must both have people working on the show naming the character's sexuality, and that it must be explicitly shown on top of it in the show's narrative, rings a bit problematic to me in the context of harder to demonstrate sexualities.

When you're tackling representation for rarer and more specific sexualities, I believe you should trust the writers and actors reporting what the intended labels for the character are, and only require that the narrative doesn't contradict it, not explicitly proves it.

Any bisexual behavior seen on screen can be used as proof of either bisexuality, pansexuality, or omnisexuality (or in some case polysexuality) as soon as someone officially working on the show names the character's sexuality.

It's extremely easily identifiable and simple to show (and even there, some idiots will try to say that anything non-monosexual doesn't exist).

But there's no such thing as widely recognized and easily identifiable "asexual behavior" per say.

And the difference between a queerplatonic relationship and a romantic relationship, for example, can be so subtle that they will present on screen as being exactly the same.

So, asking for explicit representation, and having it 100% confirmed on screen, is a bit much.

Jaskier never explicitly told Vespula: "I am confused over my feelings for Radovid, because I don't think I've ever experienced that type of specific attraction before. This is different. The way I feel about Radovid is different."

And Vespula didn't then say to him: "That's because I think you are romantically attracted to him."

And Jaskier didn't then answer: "What?! But I don't get romantically attracted to people! I love them platonically or alterously! I desire them sexually! I have world ending, heart wrenching affairs! I do enjoy getting involved in romances for the excitement it provides, the love, and the kinship I share with all my partners, but I don't desire my lovers romantically! I have also finally found my chosen family - a family that I share with my very best friend in the whole wide world and the second most important person in my life (since Joey said the first was Ciri)! I thought I was 100% aromantic until today! Why would I suddenly experience romantic attraction NOW, when I finally have the family I've been looking for, and it turns out they are what pleases me?"

Vespula didn't then answer: "Well, you were specifically swooning over Radovid's intelligence and insightfulness, so maybe you're sapioromantic?"

Instead, we've got Jaskier swooning over how intelligent and insightful Radovid is, while saying "the problem is different, the solution must be different, and Radovid... is different", seemingly confused and intrigued by what he's going through emotionally.

Vespula saying "You like him."

Jaskier thinking that she's talking about his feelings for Geralt, and clarifying that they are of a platonic nature.

Followed by her specifying that she was referring to Radovid, and that, despite Jaskier having been sexually involved with a bunch of different people before, never has she ever seen him have a "crush" (aro/ace slang for "romantic attraction") on any of them.

Then, Jaskier's reaction being to deny that "crushes" (again aro/ace slang for "romantic attraction") are something that he experiences and has the known capacity for, while insisting that he only has world ending, heart-wrenching affairs!

It's aromantic subtext. And yes, I'm happy and feel we're lucky that the queer subtext has been recognized as being enough to back up Joey Batey's claims that the character was sapioromantic.

My problem, is that asexual subtext is even much, much harder to portray and describe.

I would not expect Vespula to tell Jaskier "I've seen you lush and swish over so many men, women, dwarves, etc., before; but I think it's the first time I've ever seen you smush after someone!"

Expecting queer people to pick on the differences between a crush and squish? Reasonable. If you tell them "look for the sapioromantic representation" while watching the show by telling them before hand in an article, they'll go in paying attention to it and they'll likely see it.

But trying to differentiate between someone wanting to have sex with a partner because they find them aesthetically and sensually attractive, and they can enjoy sex for the sex itself without being sexually attracted to them (for example)...

...and someone wanting to have sex with a partner because they are feeling specifically sexually attracted to them?

Good luck!

The only way I could *perhaps* see how the sapiosexual attraction between Jaskier and Radovid might have been shown by the writers and the actors on the show, would be by comparing the way that Jaskier seems usually quite playful, casual, and fully in control of his body's responses whenever he's talking about sex, interacting with others in a sexually charged context, and talking about how he might be into certain things sexually.

When he was saying that he wasn't not, not into it while looking at Senchai sharing his own appearance, it was said with an almost detached (if a bit freaked out) sense of fascination and curiosity, I think.

Otherwise, he's often seen enjoying himself and being appreciative of other people's beauty, and curious about all the things they could be sexually doing together. Sex with a wide variety of people is amazing, and he regrets nothing!

It's very loving, and affectionate, too.

But it's true that he's not necessarily intensely vibrating with need or desire for his partner in those moment.

And then, there's the way he's physically and emotionally responding to Radovid in this scene...

So that could, perhaps, subjectively show a difference between "enjoying sex with someone you love" and "being sexually attracted to a partner".

With what triggered Jaskier's sudden need to "pounce" on Radovid to kiss him and potentially initiate the sexual activity being the way Radovid's brain works, and how he chose to express his feelings for Jaskier by learning his song (sort of connecting with Jaskier using his own language).

But it's so, so, so, so extremely subjective... that I'm really not sure how I can build a case for it!

And besides, even when you do feel sexually attracted to a partner, you're not constantly sexually attracted or aroused by them. It comes and goes. Sometimes you are in that more playful and detached mood. At least, I think...

I mean, my allosexual partner is much easier to get in that very aroused, very sexually receptive mood than I am, if I'm being honest.

But if he's being a complete geek about something I'll eventually get there. At the most unpractical and inopportune moments, too.

So asexuality is very complex and there's no way to clearly show it, just basically state it.

So, if any of you have any clue on how I could make a solid case for it, and get it approved on the wiki (because I do believe that sapiosexual representation matters), I'm all ears!

And look, I'm not blaming the moderator, either. That's not the point of that post.

Am I frustrated? Yes.

But I understand the need for a clear system to accept or refuse submissions, and I'm guessing that, with the number of pages they must go through and analyze every day, at some point, some nuances get lost; and they, too, miss that maybe applying the same rules for every single sexual and romantic identities, without analyzing how it puts some identities at a clear disadvantage given the complexities of translating attraction into easily identifiable behavior, is asking a lot.

We're all doing the best we can with the knowledge and abilities that we have.

But yeah, what a mess still...

#Jaskier #Sapiosexual #Sapiosexuality #Asexual #Asexuality #representation #and the complexities of showing aromantic and asexual identities explicitly on screen #My Thoughts #My Posts

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