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9worldstales · 3 years

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MCU Loki: Why I fear they failed to deliver what they promised

At this point I’m kind of confused by who the “Loki” series is trying to reach or which is the goal/message they’re trying to pass along.

They had tried to intrigue assorted audience but, if you ask me, the series has often failed to deliver what it seemed to promise.

Of course I might be wrong. Or maybe I'm not seeing another type of audience the series aimed and managed to reach.

When the series started I wanted to keep a positive mentality and hope whatever seemed not to work would be fixed along the way or have a reason for existing that I just wasn't seeing because I hadn't seen the full story yet.

However, after 5 episodes I'm starting to lose hope the series will make a genuine effort to reach the fans at whom it seemed to aim.

PART 1 – “LOKI” IS NOT FOR THE OLD FANS WHO PRODUCED META SHOWING HOW HIS TRAUMA DAMAGED HIM

"I think it's the struggle with identity, who you are, who you want to be. I'm really drawn to characters who are fighting for control. Certainly you see that with Loki over the first 10 years of movies, he's out of control at pivotal parts of his life, he was adopted and everything and that manifest itself through anger and spite towards his family." [Loki's Struggle With His Identity Confirmed To Be A Focus Of His Disney+ Series]

What was it about Loki as a character that attracted you? He’s just fun, for one. He has a very playful sense of humor about him. I like how he never quite lets you know what he’s thinking. Beyond that, what I connect to about him is the same thing the legions of fans do, which is his humanity and his vulnerability. This is a guy who—yes, on the one hand, he was the prince of Asgard, seems like a nice life—but his father, in fact, killed his actual birth father, adopted him, lied to him about his heritage and parentage his entire life, he was forced to live in the shadow of his oafish older brother who was born to be king. He’s experienced a lot of trauma, and I think that what he’s looking for is just a little bit of control over his life. Which he feels like maybe he’s never quite had. That’s something I think we can all relate with. [From Loki to Doctor Strange and Star Wars, Michael Waldron Is the New Franchise Whisperer]

Let’s be honest, the audience for the “Loki” series is not really meant to be Marvel movies old time fans who enjoyed “Thor” and “The Avengers”, made countless Meta analyzing Loki’s behaviour and who wanted answers about what happened to Loki prior to “The Avengers” or wanted to see Loki’s family terrible dynamics be discussed, or at least to see explored the wrong dynamics of Loki’s interracial adoption (he’s taken away from his planet, the truth is hidden from him, his look is changed to disguise him as an Asgardian, nothing is done against the racial hate for the Jotuns at which Loki is exposed, even witnessing it from his brother) or talk how much in control of himself Loki was during “The Avengers” (okay, the web said the sceptre manipulated Loki, but what about acknowledging that in his own series? It doesn’t have to come from Loki who had no idea he was manipulated but someone could mention ‘think yourself lucky here the stones don’t work, they’ve the nasty tendency to manipulate people’).

The series has avoided digging into all that as much as they could.

Even when Loki talks with Sylvie, the most we get is a small big about how Frigga was awesome in his eyes and taught him magic, but this isn’t meant to explain any of the issues Loki had with his family, it just make Sylvie feel bad because she can’t remember her adoptive mother, as for the D.B. Cooper born out of a bet with Thor, yeah, fun but completely random. What’s meant to be the message about family dynamics here, that it was the bets between Thor and Loki that caused Loki to decide to conquer Earth? Or what about the Sif loop? Is it there to push on Loki the blame of his poor relation with Sif?

No, clearly not.

In regard to Loki the Frigga flashback is there to remark he had a loving and supportive family while the other two are there to have Loki admit he is ‘a mischievous scamp’, ‘a horrible person’ and ‘a narcissist’.

To put it in Classic Loki’s words: ‘Damn it! Animals, animals! We lie and we cheat, we cut the throat of every person who trusts us, and for what? Power. Glorious power. Glorious purpose! We cannot change. We're broken, every version of us. Forever. And whenever one of us dares try to fix themselves, they're sent here to die.’

In short it’s all Loki’s fault if he does bad, nothing happened to him that could have messed him up, he’s just a horrible person… however…

PART 2 – “LOKI” IS NOT FOR THE OLD AND NEW FANS WHO BELIEVED LOKI TO BE A DANGEROUS, EVIL, PSYCHOPATH VILLAIN EITHER

"Loki is an a**, and that makes my life as a writer, easy." ... "Due to the trauma in Loki’s life, I would even [accept a story] in which he is committed to being all bad." [Michael Waldron on Loki: He’s an a**. That makes things easy]

Considering the series is trying to pin SOLELY on Loki his wrongdoing, completely skipping the toxic way in which he was raised you might think they want to paint him as an evil, psychopath who was just born bad.

But no, that’s not the intention, we see it from the start.

Loki is given a quick briefing on how his beloved family loved him despite him hurting them, a briefing that contains false information which would work if we accept the briefing as manipulative but, at this point I’m not so sure that was the author’s intent. The Doylist purpose of the briefing is clearly to show the audience how Loki cares for his family, how he still has feelings, feels pain at the idea Frigga and Odin died and wish to make up with his brother.

It’s not just they loved him and did nothing wrong toward him, it’s also he who loved them and didn’t mean to harm them. That’s why we’re fed that damn discourse about Loki sending the Dark Elves to kill Frigga, because the series wants to remark that no, Loki didn’t want to kill his family, he loved them.

Tom Hiddleston used to say what Loki is came from a place of pain but the series didn’t explore that place of pain… it just gave him more pain and not just in episode 1. Episode 2 has him discovering Asgard is destroyed, episode 3 has him remembering Frigga, episode 4 shows him believing Sylvie die and watching Mobius being pruned. He doesn’t cry in Ep 5, episode 5 wants us to truly feel bad for Sylvie, not for him, but there’s a lot of bitterness from Classic Loki who commits a heroic suicide so you might say we get a sad Loki anyway.

And this also works as a shock to make him change his mind about his ‘glorious purposes’. Sorta, with Thor reminding us he’s not so bad and Loki explaining his behaviour as “I don't enjoy hurting people. I... I don't enjoy it. I do it because I have to, because I've had to. Because it's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear.”

Plot-wise, this is completely useless.

The show will prove Sylvie is not Loki and has completely different motivations and Mobius, being an expert in Variants, should know.

What’s more why would Mobius care if Loki enjoys hurting people or not?

His goal is to capture Sylvie with Loki’s help. The most he should care about is how to keep Loki loyal to him, not if Loki has fun hurting people or not which, in fact, is a knowledge that won’t be used in his investigation.

No, this is here for the viewers, to tell them Loki isn’t a sadistic, evil villain, he’s someone weak who tries to scare others so as not to look weak. As Mobius will put in ‘a scared little boy, shivering in the cold’ who has an ‘insecure need for validation’.

What’s more?

The show will try his hardest to establish he’s not even competent.

Let’s talk of him as a fighter.

In the movies Loki is a competent fighter and side material establish he’s pretty strong, definitely much more than a human.

In “The Avengers” we see Captain America needs Iron Man’s help to beat him and, anyway, Loki’s plan was to be captured. Loki manages to walk away on his feet when Coulson hits him with that superspecial weapon and it’ll take him to be Hulk smashed after a fight with Thor and a meeting with an explosive arrow of Hawkeye before he can’t fight any longer.

This doesn’t happen in the “Loki” series.

Loki gets beaten up by various people in 4 episodes, preferably women (B-15, the people possessed by Sylvie, the guards on the train, Sif). You might say in episode 5 he’s not but actually Classic Loki is the one who gets swallowed by Alioth and our Loki instead survives because he has Sylvie supporting him as, on his own he couldn’t even distract Alioth.

Let’s talk of him as a wizard.

He can use magic, impressive magic but… it serves him mostly nothing. In the TVA his magic doesn’t work. Outside of it is mostly useless. It doesn’t help win fights. The Tempad he caused to disappear gets broken. To beat Alioth they needs enchantment, not his own magic. What’s more, when they’ve to go on the train his disguise wouldn’t have worked without Sylvie’s enchantment and, if this wasn’t enough, he got drunk, removed the disguise and wasn’t even able to make tickets appear.

Classic Loki too, with his impressive illusions is ultimately a distraction. Alioth tears easily through his illusions which aren’t even solid.

Let’s talk of him as a planner.

All Loki will accomplish is to escape from the Time theatre for a brief period in episode 1 and figure out Sylvie hides in apocalypses in episode 2. The rest of his plans fails or are not plan or are mocked over and not even put into practice.

Let’s talk about him as a manipulator with a silver tongue.

He can’t even persuade Mobius when he’s telling him the truth, Mobius dismisses it as a lie due to ‘cockroach's survival mechanism’.

And psychologically?

He’s just someone who crave attention because he’s a narcissist scared of being alone. Not a psychopath.

Loki is not meant to be a dangerous, evil, psychopath villain in this series, he’s a not serious man, a clown, a scared little boy in need of attention, a narcissist who needs to be loved.

Welcome to cartoon villain Loki, this Loki isn’t the Variant of “The Avengers” Loki, he’s the Variant of “Avengers Assemble”Loki… only he’s even less competent than him.

PART 3 – “LOKI” IS NOT EVEN HERE FOR GENERAL MARVEL MOVIE FANS

"That's a lot of Infinity Stones. That's true but they are useless there in the TVA, so I don't know. Is that gun loaded or not? We'll see..." [Loki Writer Comments On Whether TVA’s Infinity Stones Will Return In MCU]

“We had to create an insane institutional knowledge of how time travel would work within the TVA so the audience never has to think about it again. It was a lot of drawings of squiggly timelines.” Marvel already made its case for how time travel works in Avengers: Endgame, but that, Waldron points out, “is the way the Avengers understand it.” With a TV show it’s a little different. “I was always very acutely aware of the fact that there’s a week between each of our episodes and these fans are going to do exactly what I would do, which is pick this apart. We wanted to create a time-travel logic that was so airtight it could sustain over six hours. There’s some time-travel sci-fi concepts here that I’m eager for my Rick and Morty colleagues to see.” [How the Man Behind LokiIs Shaping Marvel’s Phase 4 and Beyond]

BC: The TVA is there to clean everybody up? MW: Yeah, Avengers: Endgame… that's how The Avengers understand time travel. 'Loki,' episode one, is how the TVA explains time travel to Loki and we're certainly building on what's come before us. [Loki: Michael Waldron On Gender Fluidity, Mephisto, Time Travel & More]

It’s true “Loki” is focusing on a new corner of the MCU but it interconnects very poorly with the movies before it.

Although Loki escaped with the Tesseract... it just dismisses completely the Infinity Stones.

Despite talking a lot about timelines and creating branching realities it waved away the whole plot of "Avengers: Endgame" as apparently supposed to happen even though it should have created branching realities.

We see Renslayer wave away how the Avengers went in the past causing the Tesseract to end up in Loki’s hands... and all the other things the Avengers did that affected the past goes unmentioned.

Bruce meeting the Ancient, Thor meeting his mother and taking away Thor’s hammer, Rocket being seen as he steals the reality stone from Jane, Tony stealing a suitcase and damaging the place in which the Tesseract was kept then meeting Howard Stark, 4 flacons of Pyn particles missing, an alarm given to the military bases, how Steve managed to bring back the sceptre if that timeline was pruned, how a timeline handled being without Thanos and Co as they went in the future or how they clearly didn’t bring the orb back the second they took it as Nebula remained unconscious there and nobody came and when she woke up Thanos could get her. It didn’t even explain why Steve remaining with Peggy didn’t change anything.

It's not that the audience has all explained... it's that they were told to dismiss it as 'meant to happen' and that was it.

What's more, the TVA apparently didn't list a finger to stop 2014 Thanos from going in the future and causing Tony Stark's death.

As if this wasn't enough, “Loki” just skips any possible connection with the movies, even hands Loki false information about them (he lead the Dark Elves to his mother when Loki had no idea the Kurse was a Dark Elf and they would have found her anyway as they were searching for the Aether which Malekith could sense, he’s born solely to cause pain and suffering and death, overlooks how he saved Jane twice or helped the Asgardian escape Hela) and never discusses them again.

Even with Classic Loki, who’s a Variant of “Avengers: Infinity War” Loki, they don’t talk about what happened after Loki’s supposed dead, apparently hinting it was better if he died, nor explain how Loki knew Thor survived.

PART 4 – “LOKI” IS NOT REALLY OFFERING A GOOD REPRESENTATION FOR FEMALES EVEN THOUGH IT CLEARLY AIMS AT FEMALE AUDIENCE

Let’s make a quick experiment.

Everyone, let’s name all the characters we remember which appeared in more than 1 episode of “Loki” for more than one minute.

We’ve, of course, Loki, Mobius, B-15, Renslayer, Sylvie, C-20 and Miss Minute.

5 females versus 2 males.

What’s more, females are not sexualized, they remains completely dressed, they’re clearly not there to attract male gazes, they’re represented as strong, dangerous, in control, something archived often by showing them beating males either physically or intellectually or in rank.

It seems promising. At first.

Is there someone who’s sexualized?

The “Loki” series takes care to offer us Tom Hiddleston naked.

So since there’s an abundance of females in the cast and Tom Hiddleston is shown naked is it aiming at a female audience?

Very, very likely but… but how’s then handled all this?

When Loki is seen undressed he’s not in a situation of power, like Thor who’s twice shows half naked in his movies but because he’s changing/washing and perfectly comfortable in showing his body and once in a situation which could be a male forbidden fantasy, to have many women massage your naked body, no, he’s shown as he’s powerless while being stripped by a machine. Clearly not a male power fantasy, more like a male nightmare.

And, in a totally not surprising way, pictures of this scene were spread by many female fans because it was aimed at them… though a part of them, was also honestly appalled at seeing this scene in contest, finding the forced stripping humiliating and degrading.

Sure, a naked Tom Hiddleston makes a nice eye-candy but this wasn’t how Loki’s many fans wanted to see Loki naked.

But let’s talk of female representation here, since the show seems to be interested in female audience… only who even though this was the representation women wanted doesn’t understand much of women representation in the first place.

Why?

For start because women here are all the same type of woman.

Strong fighters who’re in control and confident, with no real characterization beyond this to speak of despite the large amount of screen time.

Renslayer is an ex-hunter who can fight one on one against Sylvie and who clearly has the position of power she has because she was good as a hunter and shows her abilities in fighting after that Sylvie had beaten 2 guards at the same time. B-15 is introduced by beating Loki and is the commander of a squad. C-20 is another commander and, albeit possessed, can dispose of a part of her squad members.

Do I need to spend words on how Sylvie is depicted as this awesome fighter who has learnt to fight by herself, can keep at bay more than 1 Minuteman, can use a sword, has learnt enchantment on her own and is feared by all the TVA? Do I?

And it’s awesome to have women who are strong fighters in positions of command/power/control… but why women has to be represented as just that?

Even when they add a female as an one episode cameo, it's Sif, beating the hell out of Loki. And what about the Lady in Lamentis 1 who was too old to be strong but managed to blast away both Loki and Sylvie seeing through their deceptions?

Even the harmless Miss Minute can avoid being hit by Loki and gets she has to pretend to do researches to stall Sylvie and save Renslayer.

Women kick asses here… but that’s all they’re good for.

And so we get to Sylvie, who is the superior Loki Variant… because she’s female.

Kid Loki: You're different. Why? Loki: No, I'm not, you see? I'm the same, really. I'm the same as all of you. Have any of you met a woman Variant of us? Classic Loki: Sounds terrifying. Loki: Oh, she is. But that's kind of what's great about her. She's different. She's not trying to take over the TVA, she's trying to take it down. And she needs me. Now, you said Alioth is what keeps us here. You said it's a living thing. You said it's a shark. Well, if it lives, it dies. So I'm gonna kill the shark. I'm gonna kill Alioth, and I could use all the help I can get.

That’s what Loki preaches to his fellow Lokis who think a woman Loki would be terrific.

I mean, they’ve an alligator Loki, a POC Loki, but the one who has to be different is the female Loki. Because being female is a character trait.

Mobius: Okay. I feel like I'm always looking up to you. I like it. It's appropriate. [Ep 1]

Basically females in the “Loki” series are all representation of the Action girl trope and aren’t even different representation of said trope. I mean, “The Avengers” have 5 actions boy who’re clearly as different as they could be. Girls can be represented as different too, if they really aim at young audience they can take good old “Sailor Moon” as an example. 5 action girls who are strong and determinate AND DIFFERENT, more than just someone who kicks the adversary away.

And it’s not like they don’t know how to characterize people in a different way.

Mobius is an analyst who shows sympathetic traits toward the Variants and a certain level or intelligence. U-92 and D-90 are hunters who are shown to held Variants in little regard (U-92 wanted to attack the boy they found in the church, D-90 mistreated the scared people in the shelter). Casey is an harmless and naïve guy who had never seen a fish. The guy who made Loki sign the papers about what he said seemed emotionless but he clearly loved cats as not only he had one but on his cup there was also the image of a cat. Martin is clearly a bossy daddy’s son, who think too high of himself to the point he can’t respect rules. The boy in the church, despite thinking Sylvie was a demon, accepted and ate food she gave him and remained in the place despite the crime. He’s clearly more brave than he looked like but he’s also naïve as he easily trusted ‘the demon’ and Mobius.

What’s C-20 character trait when she gets described by Sylvie?

Sylvie: Yeah. She was just a regular person on Earth. Loki: A regular person? Sylvie: Loved margaritas.

She’s a regular person who loves margaritas. Liking a drink is not a character trait!

There’s a more diverse female representation in “Thor” than in “Loki”.

In “Thor” we’ve Frigga, queen of Asgard, loving mother and wife who’s powerless to erase Thor’s banishment. We’ve Sif, a dangerous and loyal warrior. We’ve Jane, the amazing scientist with a lot of enthusiasm. We’ve Darcy, who’s funny and who seems focused mostly on herself but who, when the city is attacked, worried to save all the animals at the pet store.

But maybe the one who gets the worst treatment is the supposed heroine, Sylvie, because the poor girl is turned into a Mary Sue.

In case someone isn’t familiar with the term:

“The prototypical Mary Sue is an original female character in a fanfic who obviously serves as an idealized version of the author mainly for the purpose of Wish Fulfillment. She's exotically beautiful, often having an unusual hair or eye colour, and has a similarly cool and exotic name. She's exceptionally talented in an implausibly wide variety of areas, and may possess skills that are rare or nonexistent in the canon setting. She also lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws — either that or her "flaws" are obviously meant to be endearing. She has an unusual and dramatic Back Story. The canon protagonists are all overwhelmed with admiration for her beauty, wit, courage and other virtues, and are quick to adopt her as one of their True Companions, even characters who are usually antisocial and untrusting; if any character doesn't love her, that character gets an extremely unsympathetic portrayal. She has some sort of especially close relationship to the author's favourite canon character — their love interest, illegitimate child, never-before-mentioned sister, etc. Other than that, the canon characters are quickly reduced to awestruck cheerleaders, watching from the sidelines as Mary Sue outstrips them in their areas of expertise and solves problems that have stymied them for the entire series.” [tvtropes.org]

So let’s see how she fits this checklist:

1) She's exotically beautiful, often having an unusual hair or eye colour: Sylvie painted her hair blonde even though the Lokis are supposed to be black haired

2) has a similarly cool and exotic name: She is the only Loki Variant who has changed her name from Loki to Sylvie.

3) She's exceptionally talented in an implausibly wide variety of areas, and may possess skills that are rare or nonexistent in the canon setting: Awesome at fighting she can enchant people, an ability the Lokis don’t posses, that she magically learnt on her own and that is necessary in the story. Also she figured out how a Tempad worked BEFOREseeing it in action.

4) She also lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws — either that or her "flaws" are obviously meant to be endearing: No flaws, all her plans involve fighting and brute force is no substitute for diplomacy and guile, which could be a flaw… if it wasn’t for the fact that the series will prove Sylvie can plan just fine without using fighting and brute strength and also be successful at it.

5) She has an unusual and dramatic Back Story: She was taken by the TVA when she was younger than Kid Loki but managed to escape them and had to live alone and on the run till then.

6) The canon protagonists are all overwhelmed with admiration for her beauty, wit, courage and other virtues, and are quick to adopt her as one of their True Companions, even characters who are usually antisocial and untrusting: Loki, who has never loved anyone, falls for her, Mobius saves her and apologizes to her, B-15, who used to look down at Variants, basically asks her what should they do and is shown admiring her, the Lokis don’t criticize her plan, Classic Loki dies to save her, everyone views her as the superior Loki Variant.

7) if any character doesn't love her, that character gets an extremely unsympathetic portrayal: Renslayer, the hunter who has arrested her, is currently playing the part of the antagonist who’s fascist and believes in a murderous, lying cult.

8) She has some sort of especially close relationship to the author's favourite canon character — their love interest, illegitimate child, never-before-mentioned sister, etc.: She’s the Variant and love interest of the titular character.

9) Other than that, the canon characters are quickly reduced to awestruck cheerleaders, watching from the sidelines as Mary Sue outstrips them in their areas of expertise and solves problems that have stymied them for the entire series: Loki, the title character, has conveniently been turned into someone who’s a weak fighter and incapable of planning which Sylvie has to save by enchanting guards or giving him her sword or pruning herself or teaching him how to enchant and coming up with all the plans.

Now all she needs in order to be a perfect Mary Sue is to know how to sing well as Mary Sue usually do this as well, though I’m sure she can do it because Loki could so she surely can.

Sylvie is amazing, Loki himself said so:

Loki: No. We may lose. Sometimes painfully. But we don't die. We survive. I mean, you did. You were just a child when the TVA took you, but you nearly took down the organization that claims to govern the order of time. You did it on your own. You ran rings around them. You're amazing!

There’s nothing inherently wrong in having a new female character who’s competent, for whom the hero falls and who changes him… if all this is built around a solid plot.

Think at “Iron Man”.

Tony Stark is, to quote Tony Stark himself a “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist”.

It’s amazing, isn’t it? But the movie shows us why he’s that.

It spends time setting up his pedigree, how he inherited the money and intelligence from his father, how he was supported as he grew and studied becoming always a greater genius. Tony shows himself to be charming before seducing his first woman onscreen so that when he does it makes sense. His philanthropic activities are, at first, just mentioned but seems rooted in how his father was a hero who helped fighting Nazi and then they became his mission. He felt guilty he was a merchant of death and tried to make up for it.

Sylvie too could have a solid plot behind herself.

Instead than magically knowing what a TemPad does and how it works and managing to escape with it, she could have escaped with, let’s say, a hunter that discovered the truth and decided to rebel to the TVA or just had pity of her. Maybe another Mobius Variant who used to work at the TVA prior to Mobius and that, instead than an analyst was a hunter. She might have learnt fighting from him and then he too died and she was left alone.

Enchantment might have been an ability she might have learnt coming in contact with a mind stone. It could have been an occasion also to talk how mind stones can influence people negatively. Or it could have been taught to her by Frigga who, with a female daughter, decided to teach her a different type of magic than Loki.

Her past could have been explored more instead than being tragic for the sake of tragic. We might have seen her fall in love and either be betrayed or have to say goodbye to her loved one because that reality got pruned. We might have seen her being interested in males and females alike as she’s supposed to be interested in both.

She could have had discussions with Loki that weren’t just about Frigga or about how the TVA kidnapped her from Asgard, she escaped and from that point on she was always on the run, or about how love didn’t feel real, but more about how they were, how they felt, what hurt them and what made them happy, what they liked and what they disliked, their ideals and their fears, things that can built up a relation.

Loki basically fall for her because she’s on a mission for revenge instead than power and seems confident. That’s his reasoning.

She falls for Loki… because apparently he’s the person who spend time with her who praised her. That’s not a solid love story, that’s desperation.

SYlvie could have flaws, she could have learnt diplomacy or persuasion from Loki or could have something she lacks and Loki has so that they would complete each other.

And since the purpose was to have Sylvie and Loki fall for each other… they could have let Loki have characteristics that can motivate the exceptional heroine to fall in love for him PRIOR to him falling in love for her. He might be shown good at something, instead than just a clown.

Even if we say the real purpose of this series was to turn Sylvie into the protagonist, the heroine, a good Loki character was still needed to explain why this awesome girl would fall for him.

So okay, there will surely still be women who can see themselves in Sylvie and imagine they got Loki… and it’s not bad really… but I think we deserved more.

Long story short, yes, “Loki” has many females in its cast and this is meant to draw the female audience… but the representation is poor as almost all of the females have no character traits and Sylvie is just a Mary Sue with no realistic characterization.

A good female representation is diverse and solid. Women don't need to be born irrealistically perfect out of nothing to be good, they can inherith and grow and learn to be as such like any human being.

Last but not least…

PART 5 – DOES “LOKI” REALLY OFFERS REPRESENTATION TO THE LGBT COMMUNITY?

BC: There is a lot of talk on social media about Loki being gender fluid. Wouldn't that actually be a natural fit for the character? MW: Yeah, I guess as, with all questions pertaining to that stuff, I think those answers, truly, are best experienced in the watching of the show, as opposed to me trying to answer them. Because it's just watching it and the way that's addressed and everything will just be more fulfilling. BC: Why do you think it's important that Loki is gender fluid? MW: I think that Loki is a character that a lot of fans see representation in. People that haven't felt represented before, and they see themselves in Loki and everything. So we want to do justice to the character, to who the character is in the comics and in Norse mythology as well. And you also … you know you want folks to feel represented, and everything. That's why it's important. It always has been. It comes from everybody on the creative team. [Loki: Michael Waldron On Gender Fluidity, Mephisto, Time Travel & More]

The series hugely spread the info that this Loki would be fluid and Bisexual. The news were welcomed with delight and it’s awesome how the series didn’t hesitate to put it on paper.

Loki being fluid was written for everyone to see, and Loki having male and female interests was spelled out for everyone to hear.

IT’S A GREAT THING!

However…

It’s all we got.

It had no relevance into the plot whatsoever, it’s just a random info we’re given.

Him being fluid was on a paper along with his other data like eye colour and birth planet.

Him being interested in males and females seems to be put there just to imply he tried a large amount of people before deciding love didn’t feel real.

Assuming the other Lokis too were fluid, they actually found terrific the idea of a woman Loki in a not positive way. They weren’t interested or asking for clarifications about what Loki meant.

Loki’s bisexuality doesn’t even get a side story, them sending Fandral to beat Loki instead than Sif because Loki cheated on him or something. I’m not upset Loki ended up with a female, this is one of the possibilities of a Bisexual person. I’m upset that this was used merely to attract the audience but then wasn’t explored. They could have said Asgard was open minded with it, or disapproved it so Loki had to keep it hidden, or it could have been Sylvie who discussed some experience in that regard.

We were told over and over it was a show about identity. We expected it to be explored instead we were just told ‘ah, by the way, Loki is bisexual, let’s move on.’ And that was all.

Having representation from an important Marvel character is always important, especially considering the shortage of representation. But honestly I expected more.

PART 7 – TO SUM IT UP

Many of the people who worked in “Loki” are fantastic actors. They worked hard for this series, I can see they tried their best.

The premises for the “Loki” series are interesting.

We get a Loki who hadn’t experienced most of what happened in the movies yet, we make him confront with someone who knows his life, the one he lived and the one he was meant to live and we also make him confront with Variations of himself.

Loki has the Tesseract and the TVA has plenty of infinity stones, we could explore them.

The TVA itself have a fascist organization that dictates people’s lives and murders whoever tries to do differently, that goes so far as to brainwash the people working in it, which mistreats and belittle the Variants and establish a manipulative cult around the Time-Keeper with elements of police brutality which could be very actual.

Time travelling was the plot of "Avengers: Endgame" they could have tied the movie to the series, esplore the why some time travels were allowed and some weren't or their effects.

There were references to plenty of awesome comics they could take inspiration from.

But unless it redeems itself with the last episode… well, so far it’s failing to deliver what it promised due to a really poor plot which doesn’t give the characters a chance to be themselves or to be characterized as they’ve no real story nor real differences to speak of.

They’re given more time than a movie as they’re a series… but that’s no good excuse for wasting said time.

I’m still hoping the last episode will be spectacular, that it’ll manage to erase the messes of the other 5… but, as of now I’m disappointed.

I’ll just keep my fingers crossed and hope they’ll surprise me.

#mcu loki #loki #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #9 worlds study

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blue-ravens · 2 years

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CharHawk + modern highschool AU or coffee shop AU whichever cliche you find more tolerable :P

high school au!! oh gosh yes.

1. right so i don't know who else out there and on the air is familiar with 'gilmore girls' but these two are the original rory gilmore and paris geller.

think about it

one's smart, loveable and charming, raised by a single adoring parent, beloved by everyone in the small new england town they call home, and other's a prickly, stuck up know it all from a never-seen family, politely considered uptight and rudely considered a bitch. and oh my god they were classmates.

2. charles is the one with the top grades, all the extra-curriculars that matter, the family name, the best clothes, the letterman jacket, the polo pony, the car, the stock portfolio, the dream of the harvard acceptance letter, and... no friends. and now there's this wildly likeable and charismatic happy go lucky scamp with a bright smile and a gpa to match, and charles may have no friends but is never short on enemies, and this no name nobody from nowhere just made the list. this barely bothers hawkeye because he has the friends and the parties and the grades and not in possession of a singular fuck to give about that tall drink of water with a silver spoon up his ass over there brooding by the window backlit by the sun just so and

okay maybe a fuck or two has been given

3. so of course there is the dreaded group project. by some contrived set of circumstances the scene is so tensely set at charles' house and it's very clearly from the instant hawkeye walks in the double oak doors into what can be best described as an art museum masquerading as a family house that so much is explained about his classmate. it's very apparent that the only human contact charles seems to have at home is his younger sister and the housekeeper. in that second he promises that next time will be at *his* house because he's not even sure his classmate has ever seen a slice of takeaway pizza much less been around a parental figure who'd happily order one, and that's the least he can offer. of course he won't stoop to pity, because while they are declared enemies he does know enough about him that pity will go wasted and unwanted. but now he understands. and it might actually be possible to LIKE him. he's funny. he's smart. he actually does care about stuff when he wants to. and oh god when he's in the group chat with peg and bj later he is NOT going to mention that he finds him CUTE because he'll never hear the end of it.

4. they bicker. they argue. they bring out the best in each other. they're competitive and there are pranks and there are also the moments when the rivalry isn't so rivalry-ish. at some point they just... get each other. neither knows how or why, but while they still butt heads over nearly everything and have entirely different motives, they both wish for the same things. i could really like you. more than i should. i really could love you. maybe it takes a 'i never told you anything before' moment. a moment of mutual understanding, the 'oh. you are like me more than i realised'. that.

and i bet that's at a party they've gatecrashed and someone donna spiked the punch.

maybe.

5. it's a given they'd both be pretty much neck and neck for the valedictorian prize at graduation but it doesn't really seem so important because something else and something far better was gained. and i'm not uhhh saying summer roadtrip with new friends and several fulfilling life experiences, but oh to hell with it, i definitely am.

#oh boy i want this au now even if it does live in my head full time #THANK YOU for this ask #truly #otp: and their sons #reply #mash

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darthstitch · 4 years

Text

Say Something

(Or I finally grab my ailing old laptop and decide to write a longer version of the prompt: “Thorin keeps telling Bilbo how much he adores him in Khuzdul and Bilbo does’t know”)

1. Dwalin has had a long time to get used to Durin-caused bullshit.

Yes, he’s aware he’s ALSO a Durin. But his Amad was descended from the ruling family of the Broadbeams and he likes to think that he and Balin got the common sense and intelligence that ancient Dwarrow house was known for. Because Mahal only knew that the Durins didn’t have it. At all.

Case in point: Thorin falling furry arse over boots for that Hobbit.

So all right, Thorin showed uncommon good sense in that respect. Bilbo Baggins was a fine cook and the cookies would make any intelligent, self-respecting Dwarf fall on his knees and propose marriage on the spot.

(Okay, Dwalin didn’t, but that was because he took one look at his King and the Hobbit and just knew....)

But did Thorin have to go about the whole business like a complete clotpole?

Hence:

“Mahal’s balls, Thorin, REALLY?” So all right, he was sorry that he’d spewed ale all over poor Kili but the lad should really be better at ducking at dodging at this point.

Thorin’s suspiciously red ears were the real answer but his King had to snarl, “Shut it, Dwalin!”

There had been an argument. Something something Elrond, pointy-ears, not trusting them, better manners.... whatever. Master Baggins was apparently not the meek and mild little creature they had all taken him for and it was quite amusing to watch the wee one stand up to their grumpy stormcloud King.

Who apparently found it appropriate to blurt out, in Khuzdul: “Why are you so confoundedly irritatingly ridiculously ADORABLE, Hobbit?!!”

Master Baggins had no idea what was actually being said, but the Hobbit simply assumed, based from the surly tone, that Thorin was being Disagreeable and Rude. So he simply put his nose up in the air and responded with: “Bless and confound you too, Master Dwarf!” Then followed this up with a magnificently dramatic exit.

He did not see Thorin turn all the way red, nor the way Dwalin reached out to grab him by his collar because his royal Durin cousin was suddenly wobbly at the knees. Look, Thorin was an idiot, but he was still Dwalin’s king AND idiot. Durin-caused bullshit, right?

Also, Bilbo did not see or hear Fili grumpily handing a bag of coins to Kili.

All Kili said in response was: “Told you so, Fee. Absolute goober.”

2. About that bet - Fili and Kili were not stupid.

Yes, they were young. And occasionally made some silly decisions. But that came with the territory and a little silliness added some fun and excitement to one’s life.

But yes, the brothers both observed their uncle falling for their Hobbit.

The nature of the bet was HOW Thorin would go about wooing the Hobbit.

Fili was of the opinion that Thorin would behave in a manner befitting his status as a King and of the House of Durin. In short, Thorin Oakenshield would be every brooding, swoon-worthy, romantic hero in those Dwarrow romances that their Amad adored and that Fili claimed he never read (nope nope nope - never - what are you talking about).

Kili knew better. He knew his Uncle Thorin would be a complete and utter walnut. A total goober over their Hobbit.

And yes, Bilbo had become “their” Hobbit in very short order. The sons of Dis knew how to recognize a true treasure when they found it. So it was easy for them to adopt Bilbo Baggins as part of their family and had no problem telling him so.

Bilbo’s smile, the hugs he bestowed on “you dear, dear lads” and the extra portions of stew with mushrooms that they got for dinner that night, confirmed that it was the right decision. Also, who knew that mushrooms could be so amazingly delicious?

Bilbo giggled, “I’ll make hobbits of you lads yet. Or since you’re still dwarves, hmm... maybe dwobbits would be better?”

“Dwobbits?!!” was the exclamation of nearly every member of the company. Because of course they were listening in, the nosy buggers.

“Dwobbits,” Ori said thoughtfully. “Has a nice ring to it.” And of course, this immediately went into his journal.

“Dwobbits... that would explain much about the Line of Durin,” Balin mused. He twinkled at Thorin, whose ears were once again, that tell-tale shade of red. The erstwhile King of Erebor looked rather gobsmacked, as a matter of fact. “It has been said that Durin’s beloved was not a Dwarf...”

“Maybe all that hair that should’ve been on your face has gone to your feet, Kili, let me check...”

“Oi! Leave off, Fili!”

“If Mahal and Yavanna would bless us with dwobbits, I would pray that they would all have your beautiful curly hair and your adorable, kissable nose...” Thorin muttered absently in Khuzdul, not seeing the collective facepalming and coin-purse exchanging of the Dwarves close enough to hear him.

Bilbo, not understanding of course, frowned at Thorin, even as he absently separated the squabbling boys, gently cuffing them by the ears. “It’s a bit rude to be nattering about in a language one can’t understand.”

“No, Master Hobbit, I’m simply coming up with some suitable way to explain to my sister how I’ve finally tricked some poor unsuspecting soul into adopting this pair of scamps.”

“Oi!”

Bilbo calmly handed Thorin his own stew - with a generous helping of mushrooms - and said, “I’m sure you’ll manage, Your Dwobbit Majesty.”

Bilbo was going to learn Khuzdul eventually. In fact, he was fairly sure that “Irak’Adadith” meant “Hobbit.” Yavanna knew that Kili and Fili used the word to refer to him often enough.

Also, he was quite proud that he DID get all three royal Durins to enjoy mushrooms.

3. Nori and Gloin were sensible Dwarves and thus, they mostly contented themselves by running the various betting pools that had sprung up over the romance (yes, Mahal damn it, it WAS a romance and an EPIC one at that) of their King and Hobbit.

Hilariously, it was Bifur who kept winning most of the bets. It was almost as if the axe in his head granted him some sort of seer-related powers, enough to rival even Oin’s.

And yes, Oin was Gloin’s secret weapon as the canny old healer employed his gifts of selective hearing to gather all the needed information.

“Thorin Oakenshield, WHAT did you just call me? Bunnanunê? If that means ‘halfling’ - might I remind you, I am a HOBBIT and NOT half of anything, you confounded Dwarf!”

“My tiny treasure, eh?” Oin muttered. “He’s getting creative with the endearments.”

“Reminds me of my darling mizim and how I wooed her...” Gloin mused.

“Gloin, EVERYTHING reminds you of your darling wife,” said Nori.

“And so what if it does -- !”

Bifur interrupted the argument with a smug grin and a clear request for money. Yes, he won the bet again.

4. At this point, Bofur decided to start making toys for any future royal dwobbits. Bifur was quite, quite sure that Bilbo and Thorin would end up having a tiny, dark-haired and blue-eyed dwobbit at some point. Maybe there was something to the stories about Hobbits springing up from cabbage patches. Maybe Bifur really was developing Seer abilities.

In any case, “Uncle Bofur” would be happy to spoil any dwobbits with toys, while also aiding and abetting in mischief.

5. Look, Bombur did his part in all these shenanigans. He and Bilbo traded recipes throughout the journey and he was definitely NOT imagining the pink in Bilbo’s cheeks when Bombur gleefully disclosed Thorin’s favorite foods.

He also wasn’t above nudging the odds favorably when Bilbo invariably came up with something new and delicious that Thorin would enjoy. And yes, he was right there when Thorin inadvertently blurted out an utterly twitterpated marriage proposal to Bilbo that the Hobbit had mistaken for a “thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Bilbo had said with a sunny smile. He wasn’t quite sure why Dwalin was suddenly at Thorin’s side at that point, but he did give them both second helpings of dinner.

He did chalk up Dwalin’s hand on Thorin’s collar as some sort of Dwarvish shenanigans (really, Dwalin and Thorin sometimes gave Fili and Kili a run for their money when it came to ridiculous mischief).

Bombur just beamed as he caught the money bags coming his way. He was actually second runner up to Bifur when it came to the betting.

6. There was an ongoing argument between Dori and Balin.

Balin was of the opinion that Khuzdul was still their sacred, Mahal-given language, and as such, could not be shared with non-Dwarves.

Dori was of the opinion that Bilbo was a true Dwarf-friend and for Mahal’s sake, SOMEBODY had to do something regarding the truly pathetic pining of their King over his Hobbit. Yes, it was romantic and adorable but really!

Somebody had to take Bilbo aside and get him to realize what Thorin was really saying, so that their poor king could be put out of his misery.

And anyway, the Consort-to-Be of the King Under the Mountain should really learn Khuzdul.

Of course, Balin was merely stalling, because he loved a good argument and he was storing up all these wonderful, wonderful points because he was a good adviser and wanted to aid Thorin in giving any old, conservative, useless, greedy nobles collective apoplexy.

He also knew that he could count on Dori in throwing any potential threats to Bilbo off the Mountain.

7. All right, Ori had enough of this insanity.

Really, he was as avid a Storyteller as Bilbo was and he simply couldn’t end this tale of fighting dragons, regaining Erebor, tricking woodland Elves etc. etc. with: “And our King Under the Mountain was a complete and utter walnut who let his Hobbit go back to his Shire without ever letting him know how much he was loved. The End.”

Yeah, nope!

So Ori waited and watched for his opportunity and Mahal deigned to bless his efforts.

They were all currently engaged in the tedious work that scribes and historians generally left out of the tales, but were still important in rebuilding Erebor. The scene was thus - Ori and Bilbo and Thorin Oakenshield and a pile of paperwork that needed to be worked on.

It was most peculiar how Bilbo turned pink as he watched Thorin Oakenshield pull out a pair of spectacles from his pocket and put them on.

“Is there something on my face, ghivashel?”

Oh. OH.

“Well, yes, there is. Something. On your face.” Bilbo flailed.

“Surely you’ve seen glasses before, amrâlimê,” Thorin teased.

“It is STILL not polite that you keep calling me all these absurd things that you refuse to translate,” Bilbo retorted.

And at that point, Ori was absolutely DONE. “I think I would like a pot of tea. Bilbo?”

Bilbo eagerly took the offered “out” and all but pulled Ori out of the room, both of them ignoring Thorin, who was definitely not pouting. Bilbo did assure the King Under the Mountain that he and Ori would return with tea for him as well. The not-pout was erased with a brilliant smile. Bilbo waved weakly at him even as it was Ori’s turn to drag him away.

As soon as they were safely out of earshot, Bilbo slumped against Ori. “Glasses, Ori. GLASSES.”

“I know, Bilbo.”

“How does he still look so MAJESTIC and HANDSOME in GLASSES? This is most unnecessary, Ori. This is RIDICULOUS. And why am I telling you all this? I’ve gone and lost my mind, that’s it. Mad Baggins, Mad Bilbo Baggins...”

“There, there, Bilbo. If it helps, he feels EXACTLY the same way about you.”

“Don’t be ridiculous - he’s your King and -- “

“ Amrâlimê means ‘my love,’ Bilbo.”

“What.”

“Ghivashel means ‘treasure of all treasures.’ They’re endearments. Words of love. Every last one of them.”

“WHAT.”

Ori smiled. And anyone else who would have seen the smile on the quiet little Scribe of Thorin Oakenshield’s Company would have called it bright as the sun and terrible as the sea.

“I’m going to teach you Khuzdul, Bilbo Baggins.”

8. There was something comforting in confessing his love using his mother-tongue.

Thorin Oakenshield was quite resigned to the fact that he had lost any hope of gaining his One’s affections after the whole debacle with the Arkenstone and the dragon sickness. Yes, apologies were made and yes, the friendship had been mended.

And yet, Thorin was too shamed, too angry at himself to even ask for more. Bilbo had his home in the Shire, his books, his armchair and the memories of his family. There was an acorn in his hobbit’s pockets that deserved to be planted at Bag End.

Bilbo deserved all that, his own happily ever after. Thorin could never be part of that. He didn’t deserve it.

“I wish you would stay with me forever,” Thorin said one day, as he and Bilbo sat together by the hearth in the King’s own private rooms. He smiled as he shaped the words in his language and prepared to give Bilbo some excuse, a chance to banter and tease.

“I want to stay with you forever,” Bilbo suddenly said in near-perfect Khuzdul. “But you have to tell me why, Thorin Oakenshield.”

Oh, Mahal. Mahal have mercy on him.

“Please say something... ghivashel. Amrâlimê.” His darling Hobbit had turned this enchanting shade of pink and suddenly, Thorin found his words, the right words, at long last.

“Because you’ve had my heart all along, Bilbo Baggins.”

Also, kisses had to be done here. Because hearing those words from his Hobbit’s lips meant kisses, kisses that were eagerly returned, that had Hobbit hands twining in his hair and Thorin murmured a heartfelt apology as he saw tears gather in Bilbo’s eyes.

“I love you too, you confounded, ridiculous Dwarf.”

9. Bilbo eventually learned that Fili and Kili had been calling him “Little Uncle” the entire time. He laughed, he cried and then gave the boys extra helpings of pie for dessert.

A certain Dwobbit with curly dark hair and big blue eyes would always love the stuffed plush dragon that his Uncle Bofur made for him. Yep, Bifur won the betting pool again.

No, Fili and Kili absolutely did NOT have furry feet. But yes, they were proud to be Dwobbits of the Line of Durin.

Gloin had to be reminded that the Line of Durin tended to find their Ones in the most unconventional ways. This was the only logical explanation as to why his darling Gimli would eventually end up married to Thranduil’s son, Mahal save them all.

Many, many generations later, it was said among the Dwarves of Erebor that leaving knitted things and flowers at the feet of the statue of Ori, the Scribe of Thorin Oakenshield’s famed Company, would lead to blessings and luck in love.

- end -

#thorin you walnut is the best goddamn tag i’ve ever found - you guys are AMAZING

#bagginshield #thorin oakenshield #bilbo baggins #thorin you goober #fili and kili #dwalin #ori is a BAMF #i crack what i want

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simptasia · 3 years

Text

here are my thoughts, headcanons, about the human owners in the Cats universe. i have cats 2019 in mind with all of this, but a lot of this could easily apply to the stage musical ‘verses, if you’re so inclined. i haven’t thought about them in Great Detail but i have pictured a lot of these cats at home, so i’ve pictured their humans a little. oh side note: when i imagine humans in this universe, i operate on lady and the tramp logic where you cannae properly see them. like, from the neck down at the highest. maintaining the cats themselves as the focal characters. so yeah here are the few hcs i have about people who in my mind literally have no faces or names

munkustrap: i’ve considered the idea that his family is rich but it turns out he lives in a flat thats directly next to a junkyard. i think they’re middle class, maybe even upper middle class, because it’s not cheap to live so close to trafalgar square (that and a lot of these cats live close to each other and we see other cat’s homes that are well off). anyways, they’re a generic late 1930s family. in an idyllic way, really. i’ve based them off the human family in lady and the tramp. munkustrap being our lady. so there’s a husband, a wife and a baby. and there’s also an aunt who takes care of munku when the family is away on holiday. i gave them a baby to add even more to munku’s Paternal Instincts. they’re pleasant people and they treat munkustrap well. the lady of the household brushes him. munku has a bed in the lounge/kitchen area but sometimes they let him sleep on the foot of the bed. munku wants caviar like it’s crack so i have to assume he’s tasted it at least once. this would imply very indulgent owners. or they might have dropped some at a party, who knows. they’re not strict with munku (he can go where he wants to, get given Human Food, sleep on Human Beds) but this never led to him being spoilt because he respects his family a lot and doesn’t take advantage of their kindness (eg. many cats are known to push things off tables. munkustrap would never) oh also the baby has pulled on munku’s tail once but he doesn’t hold it against her

mr. mistoffelees: we can actually glean some things about his family from his song and the behind the scenes. first of all, laurie davidson says misto is owned by a magician, who uses misto as a helper during magic tricks. that is to say, he pulls misto out of his hat. this is delightful and i hold to this concept too. from his song we know at least two things: one lyric says “the family” and thats plural so there’s more than just a magician, who i imagine is a guy, by the way. so he gets a wife. i don’t see them having kids. the other thing we know from his song is that misto sleeps by the fire..... though sometimes he is on the roof, making a ruckus, apparently. misto’s owners are sometimes annoyed but overall fond of their kitties antics. since misto emulates his owner’s magic-ness, it stands to reason that this guy is a guy worthy of being emulated. therefore: decent and nice. concept: misto sees his owner doing magic tricks and being lovey dovey with his wife and is basically like “god i wish that was me”. i also imagine they give misto a decent amount of toys, like a jingly mouse, a ball of yarn, etc. this was partially an attempt to get misto to stop playing with forks and the man of the house’s magician doodads... it didn’t wooork~ yes, im still thinking of 2019 misto, just because he’s anxious, doesn’t mean he can’t be a silly little scamp too. he’s gotta practice his magic!

rum tum tugger: his owner is a sweet lady who adores her kitty so very much and loads him with praise. basically she’s largely responsible for tugger’s,,, High Self Esteem. she talks to him in baby talk a lot. she’s a cat enthusiast and has even entered tugger in some pet shows. she’s good natured enough but her house smells funny. she spoils tugger and will allow him to behave however way he pleases. according to tugger’s song, she sews. he jumps on her lap, throwing her off her task, and she sighs fondly and says “oh, what am i going to do with you?”. nothing. because she wuvs her pwecious widdle kitty. basically, tugger owns her

victoria: she was given to a little girl as a christmas present and what we see at the start of the movie is her being chucked away because the girl and the parents got bored of her once she reached maturity. so basically they’re fickle bastards who weren’t ready for cat ownership

mungojerrie & rumpleteazer: ohhhh boy, so i said tugger was spoilt but these two. these two! their owners are rich. the details of this family are unclear in my head but at the very least theres a middle aged couple who hate the way these cats behave but choose to tolerate it, and a younger stupid woman who ignores their shenanigans and says “they don’t know what they’re doing” (said whilst they grin mischievously). mungo and rumple’s behaviour is put up with because they’re show cats who are worth a lot of money. once in a while they’ll do a show and then the rest of the time these two are Chaos. as i said, their family is the one i’m least clear about, like how many people live here, how everybody is related, but im picturing a somewhat large rich family (like 3 generations in one house and theres a few bratty kids about) and they’re not very nice people. they’re snobby and unkind. any goodness the chaos twins have was given to them by the other jellicle cats, not their owners. oh this household also employs several maids, who have to put up with so much shit, lord

skimbleshanks: skimble has no one Owner in a traditional sense, he is beloved by the people who work at the local railway station. the drivers, the guards, the station master, the station master’s daughters who are 6 and 8. skimble does and doesn’t belong to all of these people. the train people adore skimble and literally will not start the train without him, which is canon. i picture the driver as being really burly, to juxtapose how cooey he gets over this orange kitty. they let him roam the train as he pleases, and honk the train horn, drink scotch and they always give him Human Food. and in return skimble is infallibly loyal and has amazing work ethic. i mean, considering he’s a cat... anyways everybody loves skimbleshanks

and for the sake of the story working, these owners are either ignorant that their cats are getting out or letting them free roam. twas a different time

#cats 2019 #a lot of this turns into hcs about the cats themselves and thats fine #my hc for bustopher and maitre d's owner is so brief it didn't deserve a bullet point:#a stupid rich tory who doesn't know where his cats are 90% of the time #i ended with skimbleshanks because i wanted a nice one on the bottom #we see that jennyanydots is a house cat but i have no thoughts about her owners #oh except that they should clean their fucking house. that is way too many cockroaches #munkustrap is the cat i've Most pictured at home #like i honestly think i could recreate his flat's kitchen/living area in sims if i wanted to

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comas-are-for-sleeping · 3 years

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Scamp and Stewart my beloved <3

#better than arrow >:)#I’m cat sitting again #rambles

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lessthanagodmorethanaman · 4 years

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BAH!

Working in a visual medium is such a headache. Let me tell you about it! I’m stuck on a problem I need to solve, so taking a moment to put my thoughts down will help.

You think comedy is the easy way out? WRONG! It’s hard, bitterly so! Easier to do dark, meandering meditations on mortality, you never have to have any answers then. Comedy is hard- every page has to do the heavy lifting of propelling something forward, and also crack a joke.

Then you add in the difficulty of working visually. Take page five of this current arc- need to move the action back to the unicorns, normally I’d start with a dramatic image of their fortress with lightning, always got to have lightning. Plus, rain is piss easy and looks good. But there’s no space for that, this page has a lot to do. How do we move back to them? Easy- Smetterling arrives with sandwiches, thus demonstrating that they are in the middle of something, and we’re back in the castle.

The unicorns are watching what’s going on- that’s good, makes them part of events. But how? Ah yes, awesome bubbly cauldron viewer, classic, Time Bandits, can’t go wrong. That means we have to actually look into the thing to demonstrate what is happening- tricky, more page real-estate being taken up, but it’s worth it because it links them to the real action going on, plus a little exposition from Pixiepouf and we now know that there’s a fortress atop the volcano. Perfect.

We have a view from a distance, but need to establish that there’s a big huge door in the way of our heroes. There’s no room to draw in a distance shot though, how to do it? Aha- hand knocks on door, spikes on door visible next to hand, next shot shows the door with multiple spikes in perspective. Now the viewer has an idea of the scale involved, and it didn’t take much room.

That’s just about left enough room for the joke- I love Hercules, any time that damn cat can turn up and do something riotous is gold. So he’s going to knock that door down, but any explosion needs three parts- before, the big bang, and the aftermath. Okay, I have enough room for that. Trouble is, it means that there must be two shots in the same spot, one showing the interior, one showing the explosion.

Two shots like that are a killer, it’s a nightmare getting it right, but they make for excellent comedy timing. So, how to reduce the work load? Simple, shot one has lots of vertical and horizontal lines, simple and easy to reproduce. The actual monsters only need to appear once, so I can afford to take some time on them. A lot of detail there will hide the limited background detail showing. Besides, the second shot is mostly smoke and smoke is our friend- it’s easy to draw and covers a lot of messy detail.

Then a punchline- “the cat wants letting in,” love it. Cats always want to either enter or exit a location, oh Hercules you scamp, got to put that in there. But need to give Denise a line too, she’s a very taciturn character so it’s important to give her something to do or she’ll just want to stand there glaring. Give her a line too. More smoke, easy shot.

Finally we need to see Hercules atop his howitzer. Howitzer is a naturally funny word, always add a howitzer. Should the unicorns say something like “they’d need a howitzer to bring that down!!” to set it up? No, too on-the-nose. Besides I spent a good bloody while on that cauldron viewer, don’t want to cover it up.

Finally give the narrator a punchline- love that narrator, what a strong and sterling presence, oh how the narrator is beloved. Can’t get “kitty kitty bang bang” out of my head. Will the Kids Nowadays even get the reference to a sixties musical? Don’t overthink it, Dick Van Dyke is a treasure and there’s no denying it.

All that just to get across the idea that 1) there’s a fortress now 2) the heroes are assaulting it and 3) the unicorns are involved. Took three evenings to iron all that out! Need to cut down on the whiskey and Fernet-Branca cocktails. No, too delicious, need the go-go juice.

Now I just need to solve my next problem- what’s the funniest over-the-top thing Denise could do with her magic- need to give her a Moment, can feel some comedy in it. Maybe something with snakes?

#behind the scenes #rants #the council of unicorns

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ryouverua · 6 years

Text

Chapter 4 Investigation (Part 2)

Things are never boring with this lovable scamp as your partner!

Man that was a quick turnaround, Himiko! Though I have to say, your avatar is quite cute...

also seeing all the icons against each other makes me laugh because Shuichi and Himiko have the most defined lashes omfg and Miu... programmed/designed them all to be that way...

Yeah, I really do think someone snuck here to log Kaito out. Tsumugi was distracted or something? Maybe? Kokichi would have had access to it, being that he was right near by in the salon...

And then, about an unexpected yet surprisingly hilarious interlude involving maps -

NO SHIT, NOT-SHERLOCK

So the Kaito-centric dynamic of our little three-person group is that obvious, huh...

MORE OF GAMER SNOB TSUMUGI KTHNX

mystery solved she was filled with such potent angry nerd rage that she murdered Miu over the graphics you can’t tell me that isn’t plausible

I’m. Baffled????

also of course, more hilarious exchanges

Okay, uh, I.... was not expecting to find this? And I’ll be honest, I have no idea how it would fit in at all. Or why it’s over here. I’m just... gonna... put that on the back-burner for a bit.

I feel like me not knowing why it would be there is still better than K1-b0′s theory.

Oh right, Kaito was logged out before it came back. And now we’re talking about the direction of the river, and how the sign got washed over against the river flow, but I’m not too worried about that? Like I said, I feel like from a game design standpoint it would make sense for the river to loop right-to-left so items and/or people wouldn’t be accidentally lost if they fell in and went off-map.

DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

.... then the avatar stays ‘active’ in the VR world. I suppose it’s a somewhat poetic ending for Miu in that sense - her avatar’s presence will be an immortal legacy in here, or at least until the VR world itself ends.

Ooooh...??? We’re going to hear about this before the trial?

WHERE KAITO WAS....

I think some of the pieces are starting to come together a bit in my head.

Probably to give her a chance to sneak off and find a way to the other side - and I bet since she modified the world, she knew ways to do that. Maybe that board beside her?

OH WELL FUCK MY ORIGINALLY THEORY OF SOMEONE GOING BACK TO THE MANSION TO LOG KAITO OUT

goddamnit Miu just casually throwing a cellphone into the mix

HOW

DARE

YOU

MADAM

oh oops I guess I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead huh

OH and also she had a hammer which you know, should be a very pressing issue considering the implications of Miu having a weapon-like object on her when everyone else was defenceless but I AM STILL STEAMING ABOUT THE CELLPHONE

bOYFRIENDS god they’re so cute look at their blushing sprites i’m dying.....

Ah good, at least that part I got right.

.....

Um. Shuichi. Did you, uh, give him a heads up about what you were going to do when I blinked or....?

SHUICHI COMMUNICATION IS VERY IMPORTANT TO ASTRONAUTS AND FOR HAVING A GOOD RELATIONSHIP

AND ESPECIALLY FOR HAVING A GOOD RELATIONSHIP WITH AN ASTRONAUT

“It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission.” Somehow I think it’s still going to be hard...

Oh man imagine being thrown out of the game when you’re sick the way he is 8′D The vertigo, the sudden potential nausea/lung pain, etc...

A-Aaaaw! Poor Kaito - he keeps getting logged out, left behind and just generally tossed aside - for that matter, he’s been called an idiot for a decent amount of the game and spent half of chapter 3 stuck in his room, sick and terrified. Shuichi didn’t mean to leave you behind, Kaito! He’s just an awkward introvert who doesn’t know how to communicate, promise!

Oh man, is that salt I’m detecting in our Ultimate Astronaut?

Anyway, we already knew that the lattice was from the roof so when he talks about something being missing, it wasn’t hard to figure out what it was. Also, the lock can only be done from the outside, so you can’t get locked out of the roof, but you can get locked/stuck on the roof itself.

Aaaw Himiko 8′D You get attached to things quickly too, huh? I can relate a little too well. are your tabs and room a mess too

Alright, Maki’s here on Kaito’s behalf because Monotaro wanted to show us more info. It’s kinda weird having him on our side, even if it’s temporary, but hey, any help at this point is good!

Damn, Maki’s still here with those back-handed compliments. Still, that might be one of the nicest things she’s said to Shuichi so far. Baby steps! yeah you might not want to sound like Kaito but he’s definitely rubbing off on you

OMG HE’S STILL SALTY ABOUT THE LOGGING OUT THING

Man it’s really weird to see that icon with Maki. But hey, at least she’s trying to help them fix things rather than stew in jealousy like earlier/stay mad at Kaito about leaving her in the chapel. 8′D

Aaaaand back to the real world!

“For example, there’s me, your beloved!”

"SOMEONE GET ME A HELMET, I’M GOING BACK INTO THE VR WORLD.”

“Turn around so I can put a ‘Kick Me’ sign on your back! It’s what you deserve!”

“Wait, that doesn’t say ‘Kick Me’, that says Saiouma is endgame OTP -”

“Oops! I lied. Still putting it on you, though.”

Interesting pause and neutral face here...

..................

Oh. But.... it can only be locked.... from the outside. So there’s no way he was locked out unless he was physically blocked.

I think I 100% caught him in a lie here.

Schrodinger’s Kokichi Ouma....

“LIFE PARTNERS! EMBRACE ME, AIBOU -`”

“Ouma I swear to -”

Oh fml I’m starting to get an awful feeling - p-please stop referring to it as sleeping, it’s.... really feeding into my theory that I thought was wild but is starting to become less and less crazy-sounding in my head...

D-Don’t you trust in your sidekick, bro? D:

Omfg you just know Miu is the type to put a ton of aside comments in her code and it’s all vulgar...

Yup, true. Confirmed.

Either for defensive... or offensive purposes.

Apparently the cellphone was another object she choose not to delete as well. Man Miu, your post-humous impression on everyone is looking kinda bleak! Now that I think about it, I remember noting her panicking after that flashback light. I’m starting to think she might be the person I was looking for who would fit the ‘desperate to get out of here’ bill.

That’s an odd detail.

Yeah, I guess I did originally figure that was the case. So there was probably another point of entry on the ‘outside’ edge, like the looping river.

Wait what?! Doesn’t that mean she is unbreakable?! Did she think it would make her impossible to kill or something???

I mean... it’s gotta be the one acting as a barrier to ‘outside’ the map, right? I guess it makes sense that if the river can loop, maybe the whole map itself does. That explains why we could hear K1-b0. Was there a secret entrance along the wall that everyone ignored because they thought there was nothing beyond the wall on either side?

MIU LIED SWEETCHEEKS, THAT AIN’T JUST SOMETHING KOKICHI, YOU AND KAEDE CAN DO

OoooooOOOOH

OH..........

MIU...

Girl I think you played yourself

Whelp, that just solved a huge chunk of the questions I had!

Wait what??? Now that is pretty unexpected. It’s starting to raise some interesting possibilities though.

Yeah, that’s the face I would have if I found out I had been unwittingly sabotaged. 8′D Oh Miu, what in the world were you up to...

Oh?

.... No

no no no

no no no no no

NO EXPLAIN THE ERROR EXPLAIN IT RIGHT NOW

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ‘BING BONG’

EXPLAIN THE ERROR

DON’T LEAVE IT AS A MYSTERY

WE HAVEN’T MADE ANY REFERENCE TO THE WIRES CROSSING IN THE HELMETS

NO NO NO NO NO

FUCK YOU I THINK I KNOW WHERE THIS IS GOING AND I WON’T STAND FOR IT

BECAUSE THERE MIGHT NOT HAVE BEEN AN AVATAR ACTING STRANGELY IN THE GAME, BUT THERE IS SOMEONE USING VAGUE ENOUGH LANGUAGE AND REFERRING TO THE WORLD AS A ‘DREAM’ AND THE ACT OF LOGGING IN AS ‘SLEEPING’

AND CONVENIENTLY DID NOT LOG IN THE SECOND TIME

DON’T

YOU

FUCKING

DO IT

DANGANRONPA

NO FUCK YOU MONOKUMA LOOK AT ME WHEN I’M CURSING YOU OUT

First Miu’s schtick, now Himiko’s - is there any persona you won’t steal this chapter?

GONTA................ GONTA, NO I’M SUDDENLY DEATHLY AFRAID FOR YOU AGAIN.......

FML Kokichi has the right attitude that no one aside from Shuichi seems to have and

and

fuck

I.... if I’m right, this is not going to have the triumphant ending the last one had... not at all -

omg Himiko you sound like me

uHH

OMFG -

IT’S WAVING IN THE WIIIIIIIIIIND

BRB guys I need to temporarily find a way into the DRV3 game so I can give Himiko a huge high five.

Man I don’t know if Kokichi knows who the culprit is, but I think he is way too excited about the idea of harassing Kaito...

And Kaito knows it.

Ugh, there really is, huh? That’s why I find the vibe i so weird after the third trial. You just get used to feeling how they all interact with each other, there are all these different personalities and - poof. Gone. And suddenly you get a lot more from fewer people, and the world just seems so much larger and emptier.

I-I MEAN.... YOU’RE NOT WRONG, BUT....

Man, the way they’re all cheering him on should be heartwarming and encouraging but it’s kinda freaking me out a little bit? Is that weird?

give him a back massage. you know, between bros.

omg Kokichi are you Shuichi’s agent now or something?

“SORRY KAI-WHATEVER, MR. SAIHARA IS A VERY IMPORTANT MAN AND IS TOO BUSY TO BE BOTHERED BY THE LIKES OF YOU ~ “

Kokichi my boy, you really need to work on your flirting game.

“BRO!”

“BRO....!”

I’M SORRY I’M WEAK FOR ALL THIS ‘BRO’ TALK

That seriously sounds like a threat. 8′D Gosh though, you’re really not having it with Kaito today, huh? Now that I think about it, with Miu gone you and Kaito are going to be the strongest personalities in the trial. This is gonna get interesting...

a;sdlkfja there’s so few of them... oTL

Yeah, she really did. And man did she leave a big impact. Even if she wasn’t my favourite character of the bunch, she had a surprisingly interesting dynamic with a lot of the others and she definitely wasn’t forgettable. It’s going to be weird not to have her around. To think that I originally thought she would get knocked off within the first two chapters... 8′D

Alright so, notes - and as usual I’ll transcribe because my writing sucks. I did doodle some stuff too though ~

Left side of the map (mansion):

Shuichi/Tsumugi (together)

Kaito - roof/logged out 1 hour before

Kokichi

Gonta

Right side of the map (chapel)

Maki

Himiko

K1-b0

Miu * - dead, but also with the ability to cross sides

So I drew out the map both ways - once, the way it is in the game, and two, with the left/right side against each other and the loading screen as the ‘walls’ on the outside. I’m guessing that was the original map. I’m guessing the added wall was the barrier on the edge of the game map.

In the real world, they were seated like this with the computer at the top of the semi-circle:

Gonta Maki

Himiko Kaito

Tsumugi Shuichi

K1-b0 Kokichi (with poison in his seat)

Miu

So now that the stages are set:

First, the so-called obvious culprits and other red herrings:

Kaito

Man, someone was pushing to set Kaito up and I think that may have been Miu. It would be one thing if my original speculation about the lobby phone being used by the culprit to log Kaito out was one thing, but once the cellphone was found on Miu there really wasn’t any ambiguity left. He was definitely logged out remotely. It would have been interesting if she had logged him out via lobby phone and her wall-crossing abilities, but maybe the writers thought that could have been too hard to work out...

Kokichi

He’s been acting hella suspicious but once that paralysis feature got revealed, he was knocked out of the running.

Miu being on the chapel side - solved by her avatar being classified as an object. Did the culprit know that too? I guess if Tsumugi could spot her through the window, Miu wasn’t exactly being subtle about her presence on the other side.

Poison - another red herring. No bloodshot eyes

Before I go on, you’ll note I circled a name on the ‘alive’ list, then drew a VERY unhappy face, and just kinda went NOOOOOOO in caps because

FML I THINK IT WAS GONTA...

Is he the one that got the error code? He thinks it was all a dream - did he accidentally switch the wires? It did say the wires were for ‘memory’ and ‘consciousness’, and what better example of that is a fading dream...

Anyway, I’m going to get back to that ^ because I’m still like..... ugh. I have logical reasons that point to him, but emotionally I’m a bit of a wreck. So honestly, it sounds like Miu tried to kill Kokichi. You can see I underlined it in caps in the bottom right corner. 8′D I’m thinking Kokichi knew it was coming somehow? I’m not sure if it was just when they agreed to meet on the rooftop or before then, but I’m wondering if he set up Gonta as his bodyguard, knowing full well that Gonta has been slowly driving himself mad because of his inability to protect the people around him. I love Gonta, but he can get irrational when he gets emotional aka a certain insect-related incident...

As well as that, we have confirmed alibis: Tsumugi was with Shuichi, Kaito was out of range, Maki/K1-b0/Himiko were together, and Kokichi would have been paralyzed on contact. By process of elimination (which is so, so cold), Gonta is the only person who could have done it in the game - and we even saw him alone at the end, didn’t he?

So I’m wondering if it went like this...

Miu makes a move against Kokichi via their meeting

Gonta moves to protect Kokichi out of desperation and grabs her by the neck

She was definitely strangled, aka her expression/body position - Kokichi couldn’t do it because of the paralysis though, so it had to be someone else

Maybe Gonta didn’t realize his own strength, because he was rendered as weak as everyone else and he took the fact that he was nerfed to heart?

and/or maybe he just didn’t realize he killed Miu because he didn’t know he could in this world

pushed her off the roof via, uh, rolling up that lattice.. fencing... stuff sorry I don’t know I’m picturing her little avatar being wrapped up in fencing like a sushi roll and it’s making me laugh and sent her to the other side where she hits the chapel wall

can ~lie~ to us so well because he can’t remember his time in VR - he keeps referring to it as ‘sleep’ or ‘dream’

So that would explain why Kokichi seems to be dancing around us like he knows everything, but man... he’s also seriously ragging on Gonta despite Gonta saving his life??? And him basically using Gonta as disposable protection??? I’m a little scared about exactly what that means for Kokichi and his character, damn...

B-But even still, I can’t... quite... reconcile this in my head. Kokichi is literally the only person I can think of that has any sort of antagonism with Miu. Honestly, anyone else killing Miu is hard for me to imagine - which I guess is maybe the point? And the reason they ‘equalized’ everyone’s strength wasn’t to make Gonta easy to kill like I thought it was when we first went in there, but to make a physical murder like strangulation more difficult for him when he’s at the same strength as everyone else. So I mean, on a meta level/technical level, it does make sense! But - but - Gonta! How can it be Gonta! On a cold hard logic level I feel like it’s all sound, but emotionally.... oTL

I.... don’t......... want to...........

fuCK IT I’M GOING BACK IN TIME PRECIOUS BUG BOY I’M GOING TO FINISH KAITO’S FTE’S THEN I’M DOING YOURS

#Kokichi Ouma #Gonta Gokuhara #Shuichi Saihara #Kaito Momota #Miu Iruma #Himiko Yumeno #Kiibo #Maki Harukawa #Keebo #Tsumugi Shirogane #K1-b0 #Ryou plays drv3 #spoilers #drv3 spoilers #Monotaro #Saiouma #Saimota

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lightsandlostbells · 6 years

Text

Druck episode 9-10 reaction

If they don’t renew this show I’m going to boycott Germany.

a huge thank you to everyone who translated Druck and made the clips accessible to the international viewers! I know it was a lot of work and the geoblock was a pain. I really appreciate the continued effort.

Episode 9

Clip 1 - Hanna comes for Matteo

Jonas is really closed-off in their conversation; he’s not that warm to Hanna, which is kind of interesting since I’d say the other Jonases were a little less frosty in this scene. Especially because German Jonas and Hanna have such strong chemistry. But I get why he’d still be upset, I think less time has passed since he and Hanna had the talk about him not understanding her? He hasn’t had much time to work through it so he still seems really wounded.

Clip 2 - Hanna and Jule

Hanna appropriately has a “stronger together” shirt for a scene in which girls commiserate over how boys are such dicks.

Jule and Hanna’s conversation didn’t really have the meat to it from their previous interaction to set up how friendly Jule is here, I would’ve preferred a little more hesitation and maybe an apology from Jule. A little initial awkwardness just to acknowledge that they didn’t leave off on a cozy note.

I do love the initiative Hanna is taking and that she’s the one to extend the invitation/olive branch to Jule. It’s a nice mark of maturity. We’ve seen some scenes of her gradually gaining confidence and being proactive so we can chart how her character is slowly but surely moving forward.

Clip 3 - Fight on the stairs

I dig this artsy paint-splattered stairwell. I felt like it also made the scene a little more tense and awkward (in a tonally appropriate way) - instead of them running into each other in a warmly lit stairwell or hallways with lots of light shining through the windows, they’re in a closed space (very awkward) with cool coloring and no sunlight. There really is no way to avoid this conversation once they run into each other, and there’s still ice between them, unlike with Eva and Jonas where you could tell they did enjoy seeing each other despite the awkwardness.

Nice details are added to Matteo’s family story, that the dad wanted him to come along but Matteo chose to stay behind and take care of his mom. Oh baby :(

Jonas got rougher with Samuel than I expected, like he seems dead inside talking to Hanna but he came alive to slam Samuel up against that bar.

To be fair, Samuel was kinda asking for trouble with that comment, which was unprompted and meant to provoke. You guys are also in a tight enclosed space, you can’t really avoid each other.

And Jonas doesn’t tear away from her grip, he firmly removes her hands. He is not happy with her at all.

Lmao, these random students staring at Hanna. She was just a bystander to that male aggression, yo.

Clip 4 - Drink your way out of obligations

Is it just me or did Sam’s hair get even bluer? Or is she just that radiant?

Nice that Mia acknowledged that Kiki behaved poorly even while expressing that they should include her. Because yeah, I feel bad for all the Vildes/Kikis knowing what they’re going through, but they also were nasty to their friends.

L O L Sam’s brilliant plan to get out of supervising the party - get drunk, get fired, go to the party. That’s kind of amazing. And they’re all like sure, we’ll roll with it.

Good that Amira mentions that Leonie and Sara called Kiki a slut previously and there’s a bit of a challenge between her and Kiki. Not a great look that Kiki wanted to disregard that incident at least in front of Amira, her defender.

You know, Kiki is one of the bigger jerks of the Vildes, but … I still kinda like her, I’m sorry! It’s not that she’s a great person, it’s that the way she’s acted and written feels very realistic. She feels like a clear social climber/popularity seeker but is messy enough to alienate people. Compared to the way that say, Kelsey is portrayed in Skam Austin, she’s also a jerk, but the depiction often veers into something cartoonish and broad - like a definite TV character. Kiki feels like a ton of people I’ve known in real life.

Sam is drawing an alien in her notebook to illustrate how her pal Kiki has gone to space. She also appears to have doodled a flower and a unicorn.

Clip 5 - Karaoke emotions

Okay, now THIS karaoke scene is exactly what I wanted from karaoke in S4 of OG Skam. Lovable scamps wailing their hearts out to beloved pop tunes.

Sam doing Wannabe by the Spice Girls!!! I'm not imagining that she dressed and styled her hair like Scary Spice, right?

YES AMIRA “DA QUEEN” IS NEXT! Dedicating it to her favorite Germans! Everyone cheering Amira :D :D :D Amira doing Rolling in the Deep!!!! We are blessed.

Are they all wearing pussy hats? Also love Hanna and Mia’s blatantly feminist shirts. Truly a ladies’ night.

It’s hilarious that Carlo and the other dude (do we know him?) are wearing matching pussy hats. Honestly from what I remember of him way back in the Dark Ages of March/April, he didn’t seem like a terrible dude. A bit obnoxious, but not rude or bad on Elias levels.

The Hanna and Matteo confrontation? My soul will never be ready.

Oh man, Matteo openly acknowledges his mom is going insane. There’s no feigned attempt to keep an optimistic attitude about his parental situation like with Isak. And he’s not putting in any effort to seem cheered up, except for having a drink.

Hanna doesn’t even toy with her food before eating it, she just lays it out for Matteo and confronts him directly about telling Jule.

And he looks so sad and depressed when she asks the reason. Worth noting that he doesn’t directly confirm her hypothesis that he has a crush on her, he just looks downcast and awkward.

He looks honestly near tears when he asks her how she couldn’t get it. Because as we know, he’s not really talking about him liking Hanna, he wants to know how she couldn’t understand his BLATANTLY OBVIOUS crush on Jonas.

A drunk Kiki appears! Does she have a tattoo on her arm??

And she gives Matteo a hug … have they met before? Lmao.

Kiki staggering in just in time to steal Amira’s spotlight, scream a thematically appropriate song about how she and Alexander could have had it all, and then collapse is the most Kiki-ish thing I can think of. Yeah, that’s exactly how it would go.

Also I thought “we could have had it alllll” could apply to Amira and Kiki’s relationship , heh. Especially because it ends up getting downgraded a lot from Sana and Vilde’s relationship? It was so important that Sana was the one carrying Vilde and sticking her fingers down her throat and letting her puke down her front, and that their relationship in particular was affirmed.

They just dragged Kiki to the nearest toilet and had her puke on some dude’s shoes (that’s Matteo’s friend, right?) which I will admit, more practical than carrying her like a romance novel heroine as a divine hymn plays.

Wow, so it’s just Mia tending to Kiki and we don’t get the girls all lying in bed together. On the one hand that’s a little disappointing; it’s one of the most iconic scenes of S1 and probably the whole show, and it’s a moment that really solidified the girl squad as a ride or die group of friends. But I also like them to try new things and not just redo big successful moments from the original show. I did like seeing Mia go through all these little steps of tending to Kiki, getting her dressed, sending a text to her mom.

Pretty big difference that it’s Mia and not Amira taking care of her, though; as mentioned above, the Amira-Kiki relationship is downplayed. Not super keen on that because Kiki was quite nasty to Amira and visibly hurt her feelings on several occasions, such as the bus stop incident and the disastrous group meeting. Sana was better at adopting a harder attitude and not letting the hurt show. But then again, Kiki is the one who really needs to grovel, not Amira.

Also ...HUGE break in POV since Hanna isn’t there but lol I’ve accepted it’s a losing battle even if I’m still not super fond of it. You win, less-than-tight third person POV. I surrender.

Mia has a text from Alexander, because what is truly desirable in a man you have rejected is him texting you about changing your mind close to midnight while you take care of your friend who he fucked and then ghosted passed out beside you in bed.

JONAS PLAYING THE GUITAR AND SINGING FOR MATTEO WOW WOW

while wearing a pussy hat lmao, BEST REMAKE JONAS

I’m sure Matteo loved Jonas playing and singing a song dedicated to him, only for Jonas to slow down and get more serious once Hanna entered. Not to mention shifting that eye contact from him to Hanna.

Lovely scene of Hanna and Jonas, I’m a broken record but they have SUCH good chemistry. They just seem so into each other, and overall I would say they felt so much that they liked each other.

NOOOOOO don’t break up! Please!

Episode 10

Clip 1 - Honas and Janna

Honas and Janna fucking ADORABLE.Them snuggling… you’re hurting me, Druck.

He took her nose! Goddamn!!!

I love all this backstory and delving into the beginning of their relationship. This honest conversation that takes its time and really lets them talk ... what Skam does at its best, man.

Jonas looks so heartbroken in this flash forward where he’s holding onto Hanna.

And that painfully raw moment where he asks if she regrets choosing him and the answer is an unspoken yes, owwww

All this emotional soul-baring, such as Hanna talking about how once she got with Jonas, she was only happy when she was with him, and dependent on him for happiness. And that she became paranoid Jonas would cheat on her and thought she deserved to get hurt. And that she changed her personality so he would like her and wouldn’t have a reason to leave her. Really happy how plainly Hanna stated the truths, even the raw and uncomfortable ones.

I know they just laid out all the reasons Hanna should be on her own and they should break up, but I don't want them tooooooooo

The way they hold each other and cry and draw it out for so long because they don’t want it to end!

“I still got your nose.” “You can keep it.” FUCK YOU, DRUCK!!!!!

You realize that we need this show to run for many more seasons and eventually Jonas will casually mention to Hanna that he’s still got her nose and she says, “I hope you’re taking care of it.”

And then one day he gives her a fake nose like on one of those Groucho Marx masks and she puts it on and IDK, this is all a buildup to them kissing again.

Hanna as an independent woman, wearing her Femme Future shirt. Nice.

They’re honestly up there with original Eva and Jonas for me. Round of applause for the director and actors for making this couple as likable and believable as they are.

Clip 2 - Mia and Kiki in the mooooorning

Oh jeez, this is a TOTAL break from the POV, I wonder what the logic behind it was?

I guess they're setting up S2. Or who knows, maybe there were scheduling conflicts with the actors and they couldn’t have everyone together.

Seriously, what’s Kiki’s tattoo? I’m sure it’s just because the actress happens to have one.

Kiki saying she wants to die, oh no. She looks miserable.

Although how dare you show Mia’s flat but not her roommates.

Clip 3 - Doctor visit

So only Mia went with Kiki? They’ve really downplayed her relationship with Amira, and the other girls as well. I mean in a way, it’s nice it’s just the two of them, and I presume Mia will keep this incident a secret. I hope this will affect their S2 dynamic a little.

I got so hyped for this scene, though. I adore this doctor.

Did she tell her she was pregnant at first just to mess with her??? Omg.

I doubt that’s the most professional approach but who cares, my love

Mia saying that the pregnancy was “Unplanned of course, she’s 17” and the doc mentioning the 5-year-olds in Peru or Chile who gave birth … I mean, 5-year-olds who get pregnant are the victims of rape, so hardly planned.

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away” but I want to see more of you! Can the whole cast just get like incredibly sick and have a reason to stop by?

Not only did she have an apple, she gave Mia a banana too, lmao! She just keeps fruit in her office for wayward teenagers not getting the proper nutrition.

We need this show to get to S3 so I can see this doc talking to Matteo.

Clip 4 - Mia giving Kiki the talk

I guess Hanna told Mia about hearing Kiki puke at school.

This is pretty direct referencing to Kiki’s ED when I think it’s been more or less implied before, in other versions. I mean it’s pretty obvious, it’s just not spelled out quite this much.

There’s also a more direct reference to Mia also having an eating disorder … “I know exactly how you feel.” That’s very pointed. Noora having an eating disorder was understated and mostly subtext in a lot of ways.

Again, a shame that Kiki and Amira’s relationship was downplayed, but hopefully the focus on Mia and Kiki in these scenes will add more to S2.

Clip 5 - Hero party

This was just a heartwarming clip so don’t expect commentary other than 😍😍😍.

Hanna and Mia and Amira just hanging out!!!!

Amira eating during Ramadan, though... the remakes are really bad at remembering this. (I’m not Muslim so if I’ve made a mistake in understanding when she can/can’t eat, let me know. And I do know that she can eat during her period, it’s more like in the absence of other acknowledgment of Ramadan, I tend to think it was an oversight.)

Amira giving Hanna a hug and telling her she’s strong … GOSH. Although she calls Hanna out on the similarities between what she did with Leonie and what Matteo did to Hanna, which I mean ... fair.

Amira encouraging Hanna to talk to Matteo .... I know this is for Hanna’s benefit, not Matteo’s, but man, I can’t wait for Amira and Matteo friendship. They’re both vulnerable kids with lots of buried feelings.

Oh my God, them putting on their security uniforms and being ADORABLE, ahhhhh! We get another slow motion power walk on the way to the party, Druck gets the essence of Skam.

Of course the power walk was just to lead up to them standing/sitting outside awkwardly.

Are they for real going to get drunk to avoid their responsibilities? Maybe not the best life choice, but in this situation, sure, why not.

Amira getting “high on Allah” was precious. GIVE ME S4 ALREADY.

Mia is drinking, which is quite a character divergence from Noora.

Was that a peace offering of beer from Leonie? Love it.

OH GOD JONAS AND MATTEO AND THAT OTHER DUDE ROLLING UP IN A CART

Sam is so magnificent. Her hair is a beautiful blue tower!!

And she and her brother are too cute! She brought him and his Bass Bus to liven up the night!

SHE TOLD HIM TO DRIVE INSIDE. THE BEEEEST

Matteo and Hanna <3333 She said she realized she’d done as wrong to her friends, and she asks if they can stay friends. It seems like a really genuine moment, guys. I wouldn’t blame her for keeping him on her shit list for a time but it feels like they might not drift quite as much as Eva and Isak did, since there’s maybe a bit more comfort between them here.

Mia says she’s worried that Kiki is drinking too much again and that’s why she’s not there, suggesting that she hasn’t told Alexander to apologize to her and that’s not the reason she wants to call her.

OH GOD THIS AMAZING ADAPTATION OF THE “FUCK, YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL” MOMENT

Mia tells Alex he’s creepy for that whole “no means I want you more” thing. She tells him it was blackmail to pressure her for just one date and then he’ll leave her alone. He tries the “fuck, you’re beautful line on her” and she turns around to make out with Hanna. Then she calls him a massive asshole and tells him she’s not her type, wink wink. She and Hanna walk away laughing.

This is the best remake, guys.

ALSO LET’S TALK ABOUT THAT HANNA AND MIA SMOOCH, A REMAKE FINALLY GAVE ME NOOREVA

On a more serious note, there’s absolutely reason to be concerned this is just queerbaiting. I doubt Hanna and Mia are going to be a couple, Mia and Alex are almost certainly going to have a romance arc, and the whole “two girls kissing in a bar so a boy can witness” is definitely enough to give off “barsexuality” vibes and make it seem like just a gimmick.

However, the production team has confirmed that Mia is bi, so hopefully that will be acknowledged in the show itself (other than “I don’t like labels” which is not actually an admission of bisexuality, and tbh which suggests that she won’t call herself bi on the show). But even if she doesn’t want to label herself, there are ways to address her interest in women and incorporate it into the story. And I hope to God they don’t make Alexander all “girls kissing is hot” or trying to pursue Mia even though she’s indicated she’s a lesbian (even if she’s really bi, her comment to him suggests she’s a lesbian), because that character does NOT need another reason to make me dislike him.

For real, Alexander better leave her alone after this, because Mia has told him she is not only not him, but not into dudes, and whether that’s true or not, he needs to accept it as truth. If they get together Mia has to make the first step in pursuing him.

Damn, this this makes me want to go back and rewatch S1 through shipper-tinted goggles. So was Mia really trying to hit on Hanna at the bar? I don’t know if that’s what they meant but I’m declaring it canon in my mind.

Plot twist: Toilet Sam pats Alexander on the shoulder here as foreshadowing for their upcoming love affair, Mia will be free to get together with a nice girl in S2.

Another plot twist: That awkward yet smoldering Jonas/Toilet Sam eye contact.

You know, if Alexander apologized to Kiki without any incentive - if Mia’s like “I’m gay” and then Alexander apologizes to Kiki anyway - then that makes me approve of him more, since he doesn’t think Mia is an option now. Unless he’s thinking, “Well, time to convert the lesbian!” But otherwise - a MAJOR step in improving Winterberg.

Kiki got a little sarcastic with Alexander, too. ”Wow, you know my name?: GOOD FOR HER.

Group hug! I still feel that the girl squad is a little disjointed, mainly on the Kiki angle, but that’s to be expected.

Mia giving Kiki a slice of pizza … very nice to work that in, nice. And Alexander apologized so that may have something to do with it, that her image-related insecurities stemming from his comment have been soothed.

Also, props to Mia for waiting until the other girls left to bring up Matteo’s gay porn to Hanna.

L M A O it only took Hanna 10 episodes to realize Matteo’s deeply gay looks and feelings for Jonas. That’s impressive because of all the m/m Isak/Jonas pairs, Matteo was by farrrrr the most transparent about his 😍😍😍😍😍

Speaking of, excellent smitten look Matteo gives Jonas there. Some of the remakes have been toning down the 😍😍😍😍😍 but no, Matteo is bringing it.

Awww, the cast dancing during the credits <3 <3 <3 Was this from their audition tapes or something?

General Comments:

This is my favorite remake. My ass will be so bitter if Druck out of all of them doesn’t get renewed. It’s the one that most captures the spirit of the original, has an age-appropriate and charming cast for the most part, great chemistry between the characters, and did a decent job of adapting the storyline while giving the story its own personality.

Moreover, Druck really captures the vulnerability of the characters, which is essential to Skam’s storytelling. A Matteo or Amira season really excites me because those actors have already displayed capacity for fragility in this season, and I think they could do decent jobs in their own seasons.

Plus, Jonas would be SO amazing in a Matteo season! If I already loved him in S1, when he’s at his worst, imagine how awesome he’ll be supporting Matteo during his coming out process!

Give me that Amira and Matteo friendship. Or Amira falling in love, jeeeeeeez. Matteo falling for a boy who can match him in longing stares.

I’ve had some reservations about Mia’s acting but she has honestly grown a lot on me as a character, I like how she’s written, and so frankly? Even S2 kinda has me excited. My personal feelings about the central relationship aside, Druck deserves a chance to have its S2 as much as any of the others.

IDK, it’s kinda frustrating that the geoblock and random production issues seem to have cut off a lot of the potential fanbase, so I hope the show gets another chance, and that they fix whatever lingering issues.

They definitely could do better with social media output and overall keeping the interest in the show flowing between clips.

Anyway, for the most part, I actually enjoyed Druck S1 quite a bit, and I truly hope I get to see more of these characters.

I don’t speak German, so if I missed some context, feel free to correct me.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

#druck reactions #this is a week late bc i got busy with life stuff #but i enjoyed these last clips so much that i did want to write something

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clavicuss-vile · 2 years

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MAYHAPS if you’re down, 14 and 25 from the ask game for Nephthys, Anaelle, and Kin’aru?? 🦞🦀🦞

hey bestie!! Nephthys my beloved omg <3

14) How well-liked is your oc? What is their reputation, if they’re well-known? Are they simply liked/disliked, or are they respected but feared, or personally liked but not taken seriously, etc? Do major factions consider your oc an important player?

Nephthys: It really depends! Nep enters Skyrim after Kaos & Ime end the dragon crisis, and he joins up with The Black Spider,,, so a big well known reputation ain't great for an assassin! The Thieves Guild have him on a To Be Protected list, partly because Icarus demanded it, and partly because Lokir, Nightingale/Crow and Karliah adore him anyway. He's got a reputation as a fledgling with the Volkihars after Azurah sends him to go and put Harkon in his place. Rosalie (Serana's gf) and Serana absolutely adore him he calls them both auntie :) When he's a little older, armed with a Vampire Lord form, 2 daedric crescents and Azura's Star he will definitely be feared by anyone Azurah deems a problem :)

Anaelle: This varies WILDLY. Within the Reachfolk, she's got a reputation as a major helping hand - whenever the Timberclaws are lending aid to any other clan you can bet she's there first. As like, pretty much the figurehead of the forsworn as well she travels around a lot of the clans to check on them/get support for the siege etc, so she's actually quite famous amongst the reachfolk! a lot of the forsworn respect her as well for being such a determined fighter <3 she mainly does "undercover" stuff in Markarth so she's not actually very recognizable there, which suits her just fine.

Kin'aru: Kin'aru is Enthir's apprentice and that already sets him up to not be taken very seriously bless him JSDHSH. His field of study is souls/life magic so a lot of the tutors feel like he's wasting his time, when he could be learning something useful like summoning scamps or something. Also because its not exactly well hidden that he buys moon sugar a lot of the staff have a "what a waste" attitude towards him :( But!!!! to the alchemists of Skyrim he's got a reputation of being an absolute sweetheart! Arcadia especially likes having him help around the shop, but he runs deliveries to a lot of the others and he's very skilled at alchemy so some of the shopkeeps will even just ask that he takes over the shop for the day so they can get a weekend off!

25) If your oc is part of one of the more morally questionable or outright evil factions, how do they justify it to themselves? Do they still consider themselves as morally good? How well known is their affiliation to these groups? Do they have separate personas (e.g. Dragonborn to some people, Listener to others)? Do their family/friends know? If they have separate personas, how do they keep their less than righteous activities secret?

Nep: Hmm!! So Nephthys is part of Icarus' robin hood esque assassins guild, and temporarily the Volkihars-- honestly he justifies all of that as "Azurah told me to". He would do anything for her, if she told him to slaughter all of Cyrodiil he'd give it his best shot because she's the only real mother figure he's had :( He would justify both though because the Black Spider (generally) only kills like, people like Sissel and Britte's dad, for example. He doesn't feel guilty wiping people like that out, and he only joined the Volkihars to infiltrate them at Azura's command

Anaelle: The only really morally dubious faction Anaelle's in is the forsworn, and she justifies that as "the nords stole our home, we're taking it back. simple as."

Kin'aru: Kin also isn't really in any dubious factions! he's not an actual member of but during his college days he is an associate of the thieves guild (through Enthir) but he just doesnt really see it as that big of a deal. He deals Marrow moon sugar so she can bake cakes and steals trinkets from Ancano because Aicantar misses the summerset isles (and because J'zargo dared him to),,, Being a pawn of Clavicus Vile, though? At first he sees it the same way as with Enthir and the guild; who really cares, all he's doing is stealing a few things or bringing Vile's statue a few things whenever he demands, but he gets a little older and realises more that he's made himself known to a daedric prince, and he's not even valuable enough to be a champion, he's so easily disposable, he does really regret it. let's end this on a fun angsty note; he's absolutely terrified that one day Vile's going to hurt Marrow if he refuses to do something

#i love how much you love Kin'aru #also bestie just gonna say again i nearly sobbed when i saw you'd drawn marrow ilysm literally made my whole entire day #ANYWAY #my ocs #oc: nephthys #oc: anaelle #oc: kin'aru

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araneaes-order · 6 years

Text

Angels We Have Heard Ch. 1

Last Herald-Mage Fanfic

Follow up to In the Bleak Mid-winter my “fix-it” rewrite of the canon ending. (’Cause, C’MON!!!) This is several months later, because no way these two aren’t gonna meet up again.

Word Count: ~4025

Rating: Mature for themes of suicide and substance abuse and stuff, I don’t know, I try to err on the side of caution, I think it’s fairly fluffy really

Tags: Canon mm, ^attempted suicide, ^substance abuse, comfort, mourning, singing

On AO3.

Chapter Synopsis: After several months at the border, recovering enough to be transported home, Vanyel hasn’t been back at Haven for a fortnight when he hears the song.

He’d lost a stone in his recovery and it was chaffing him. He needed to get back up, back out, to the salle, to his duties, to his life. Lying in bed, withering away—:Getting stronger, love,: she kept reminding him, as if she was one to talk—was making him crazy.

He’d been carried back from the northern border in a cart. Like an invalid. It was galling, no matter that everyone kept telling him how grateful he should be to be coming back at all. He wouldn’t say it, but he wasn’t, particularly.

His mother had wept copiously over his bedside, his father had grunted, impressed. Even, and Vanyel tried not to be shocked since they’d already come so far, but, proud.

Tran hovered like a nervous mother hen, almost as bad as his real mother, but at least he spared him the tears.

Jisa—now Jisa left him feeling guilty. She’d been crowned queen consort in his absence, her acknowledged parents dead while he’d been off facing down a lifetime of nightmares and trying to get himself killed at practically the same moment. He hadn’t been there for her through that, and could only be grateful she’d at least had Treven, now the king, the very man he’d bristled at her marrying. At least when he could subsume his own shame, the two of them could mourn those deaths together.

Because that was truly the worst part for him, coming back: the people who weren’t there at his sickbed. Randy and Shavri. Kilchas and Lissandra, Jaysen, Mardic and Donni, hells, all the other Herald-Mages.

And Savil. Gods, Savil, who had always been there for him at Haven, since Withen had foisted his hopeless heir off on her, a lifetime ago. Even if he’d been able, he could hardly stand the thought of leaving his rooms for the empty halls where he knew they’d never meet again.

In his bed he could pretend the mother-of-his-heart was still out there, just on the other side of his door. She was on her way to check on him; at any moment there would be a knock.

But when there was, it was never her.

His nephew Medren was by far the most cheerful of his visitors. A bardic student at the collegium, he was never without his lute and made it clear his plan was to help his uncle pass a bit of his convalescence with songs, upbeat, happy, often bawdy songs.

Songs about Vanyel himself, when the scamp was feeling particularly cheeky, and gods knew there were plenty to choose from and a good number of them were completely awful. It had given his nephew the idea for a game: guess which terrible song was real and which he was making up on the spot.

“No, no, I swear that one was real, Uncle Van!” Medren chortled. “I heard it myself in my journeyman year, being sung in a tavern not far from Forst Reach, as a matter of fact.”

Van’s face hurt from laughing. It was nice, a different sort of pain. He rubbed at his cheeks, fighting for breath. “I don’t believe you. There’s no way—” Talk about bawdy! And if ever a song had been more off the mark than to feature him, ‘courting’ some doe-eyed maiden from the Lakes…

Medren’s laughter faded but his smile didn’t and he continued to strum absently on his lute, going softer, but still cheerful enough. “Games aside, Uncle, I did hear a new one about you today.”

Vanyel groaned. “Oh gods, don’t tell me, was I making my way through the royal court of Rethwellen, one fair maid at a time?”

Medren had visited with him every evening since he’d returned, and although he’d never have said it, and probably didn’t have to, the young Bard was his favorite nephew. He could tell that the boy had something on his mind, though he was playing coy.

“Not quite,” he grinned. “—But I will say I thought this one was surprisingly good. Would you like to hear it?” More coy yet.

He couldn’t deny his curiosity was piqued. What was Medren sitting on? But, playing along— “You tell me?” he said, archly, folding his hands on his stomach.

Medren smirked and shook back his hair. “Oh, I suspect you would. Here—”

The boy adjusted his fingering, testing it for an unfamiliar song, striking a few tentative notes and then slipping off…

—To the north. To an icy guard post at the northernmost edge of Valdemar’s border, wrapped in unnatural winter, where a grim-faced, determined man in white came hunting the enemy of his kingdom. A beautiful man, a living legend, with silver eyes and silver in his hair.

Van shifted uncomfortably.

There was only one person who could have written it, there were details even he didn’t know, things about the bandits, things about Leareth.

And the bits about Vanyel himself were—far too flattering. Even Yfandes…

:Huh,: she mused, clearly surprised, and more than a little flattered.

He’d written himself out almost entirely, with just a passing mention of that betrayal early on, making it sound like Van had been saved from the bandits by the healer and the brigand boy. Like he’d infiltrated his enemy’s stronghold on his own and faced his fate on the mountain peak as alone as he’d always feared he would.

As if the Bard himself hadn’t been right there, lending his own magic, his own life-essence to the blow that had killed the dark mage and brought the pass down. As if he wasn’t the reason it had been possible.

And every word, sung in his nephew’s Gifted voice felt as if it was coming from him. Every chord, as if it was the Bard sitting beside his bed, playing it for him, at least until the last sweet note died away.

Medren was watching him intently, but Vanyel was too stunned to offer much of a reaction. The last thing he would ever have expected was to find himself transported back north to that terrible quest, or to find the Bard that had left him there sitting with him in his very room, crooning a song about it into his ear.

Medren cocked his head, laying his lute across his lap, and leaning forward over it. “So, it’s all true then? At first I was upset that you’d have shared so much with someone else when I’ve been here for you every day. But—it was that Bard you told me about, wasn’t it? He wrote himself out for some reason, but he wrote the song?”

Vanyel swallowed heavily and nodded, staring down at his hands, white-knuckled with his grip on the coverlet.

Medren grinned. “What was his name? Stefen, you said? He’s very good, Uncle. I look forward to meeting him.”

He tried to shake it off, and Medren seemed to think it was just embarrassment and was kind enough not to tease—too much—but a feeling had taken root in Vanyel when he’d heard the Bard’s song.

His tribute. His goodbye.

Dread. Vanyel felt dread, a bleak hopelessness, radiating from that bond that connected them.

:’Fandes—: He started, as soon as Medren had taken himself off, gloating for having gotten one over on his uncle.

:Yes,: she answered, simply that. And he knew she understood.

Valdir had never looked more the part of the scruffy, starving minstrel. He only hoped no one took it into their head he looked too bad, like he was carrying the plague or something like it, and tried to run him off.

He’d taken his lumps as Valdir, sure enough, but he never turned back.

:Even when you should.:

She worried him though, more than anything.

:Are you sure you’ll be alright, love? I don’t like leaving you like this.: Like him, she’d been slow in recovering. Slower even, he thought. She still wouldn’t tell him what had happened when Leareth’s men found her, or exactly how she’d deceived them into thinking she was dead. There was a distance between them still that had never been there before, not since he’d accepted the responsibilities of his Whites and fully opened himself to her as her partner.

He didn’t want to push—she was always in his head, she would know his concern—but…he worried.

He felt her wordless affection, deep and constant. :I’ll be fine, beloved. Don’t worry about me. Find the Bard.:

Keep him from doing whatever he has planned. That part remained unspoken but he felt it in her thoughts.

What do you have planned? he wondered.

It was a pretty, prosperous town, at least by the front gates and the main thoroughfare that led from one gate to the other, funneling travelers and merchants through the good part of town, full of cheerful, smiling people.

Watchful people, who smiled a little less and stared a little harder at a scruffy fellow like Valdir, in his ragged clothes and his misshapen hat pulled low as though he had something to hide.

Herald Vanyel had often ridden through the town of Tithes, or Tides, depending on the thickness of the accent that was saying it, heading south from Haven, occasionally stopping for a rest in one of the public houses or taverns. Valdir on the other hand usually ranged farther afield than this, where there was less chance Vanyel would be known. But needs must.

He clutched his beat-up lute case closer to him and ducked away from the main road, down a side street, to the part of town the rest wasn’t so proud of. It was more Valdir’s sort of place, and he relaxed a bit to leave behind the sharp eyes of the merchants and city guard.

Not that the merchants here weren’t as canny or as sharp-eyed, just that to them, his coin, if he had any, was as good as anyone else’s and they cared less how he might have come across it. There were still guards here too, but they knew there was less to guard, if not less to guard from, so there were fewer and their patrols were more leisurely.

Valdir avoided them anyway.

He paused on a street corner and looked around. Too much to expect to catch sight of that tell-tale head of bright auburn curls. He sighed heavily and didn’t have to feign the defeated, weary curve of his shoulders.

This wasn’t the place anyway, not quite.

The street here was paved, even if the stones were uneven, and sometimes cracked or missing. The road he was on led to a bridge and he could see that the stone didn’t go much past that side of the river. Crossing it, a fancy-dressed man on a well-formed but ill-tempered horse nearly ran him into the rails, and barked at him for being in the way.

He cowered and groveled, but the man ignored him, sneering and continuing past into the crowd. He was the one who didn’t belong on this side of the river and this side of town, but Valdir knew that when you had the sort of money that fancy man probably had, you were welcomed anywhere, whether you belonged or not.

Valdir sighed with relief as he looked around on the other side of the bridge. No one here cared about him at all, his thread-bare clothes and ragged boots, his scruffy face and dirty hands—he fit right in.

He checked his coin purse, wincing at how light it was. He’d been worse off, sure, it had been empty probably more often than not lately, but—he took a steadying breath and crossed the street to an old produce stand.

“Hale and well met, friend,” he said, wincing at how weak his voice was.

The merchant turned and shot him a surprised and then a dubious look, wiping his hands on his apron. “‘Hale.’ –Not from around here, are you? ‘Friend?’”

He pretended not to hear the mockery. “No. I’m from—I’m traveling from up north. I’m a minstrel.”

“That right?” The merchant was already bored and had gone back to restacking potatoes.

This wasn’t going well. He thought frantically. Hesitantly he reached into his coin purse and pulled out one of the two coppers there, holding it up. “Might I trouble you for an apple or two?”

The merchant looked at him again and took the coin, not bothering to hide it as he checked to make sure it was true. He smiled, a little, and pocketed it. “A copper gets you three of my best. Friend.” He gestured at the pile of bruised apples.

Valdir carefully picked out three that didn’t look too bad.

“Actually, I’m looking for someone. Fellow I met on the road? He said he was from around here. Good with a gittern, excellent voice…”

The merchant glanced at him again but didn’t look any more interested now that the copper was gone.

“…not as good as me, of course!” Valdir added hastily.

“Huh,” the merchant grunted, disinterested.

The man might have had more to say for Herald Vanyel and a fatter coin purse but that might have scared the Bard off. He was here somewhere, he could feel him.

He took a bite of one of the apples. Not bad. Only just past ripe and still sweet for it, bruises aside. Gods knew he’d had worse. He gestured over his back. “Anyone have rights to that corner? Would I be stepping on any toes, setting my hat there?”

The merchant snorted. “This side of the river? Be our guest. Might have to tithe a bit to the street toughs if you actually get anything.” He looked him over critically and snorted again. “Would probably be worth it to you. Look like you could use the protection.”

It didn’t sound like anything Valdir hadn’t dealt with before. He went to the corner, a pawn shop behind him, the river to his right, set down his hat and pulled out his lute.

It was a poor instrument, past its prime and past what any amount of normal care could’ve made decent again, but it played as gamely as it was able and Valdir was fond of the tired old thing. It fit comfortably in his hands and for all its age and wear, it had a heart to it.

Feeling a kinship, he started singing.

Valdir’s repertoire was somewhat like his instrument, somewhat like him too, though he’d’ve been hurt by the comparison: old-fashioned, worse for wear. Slow, sweet, carrying the memories of a better, easier life, but with a certain practicality now for the world as it was. He knew where he stood, but he hadn’t always been there, and he hadn’t been born there.

There were some who fell for the melancholy mystery of it and he managed to scrounge up a few coppers from hard-hearted folk who didn’t have much to spare.

“—you’re not very good.”

He broke off, in surprise and some offense.

A street boy was standing in front of him, glaring in a way that didn’t seemed warranted. An extra pair of scrawny, dirty legs were almost hidden behind him, a smaller sibling too shy to step out in front of the stranger like his brother.

“Suppose you can do better?” he said.

The child scoffed, all wild hair and big eyes and suspicion. “Not me. But we got better here. Don’t need you.”

Valdir took his hands off the strings. “Do you?”

The boy looked him over, head to toes, a look of utter contempt on his young face that would have done a court dowager proud. He spat. “Aye. Better’n you. You should move on.”

Valdir set his lute down in his case but didn’t put it away. He pulled out the last of the apples and shined it. “Maybe I will. Tell me about this better minstrel you have.”

The street boy wasn’t that simple. He crossed his arms and cocked his head, catching wind. “Don’t have to tell you nothing.” He hadn’t moved but Valdir could feel him slipping away. He was losing his chance.

He crouched, gave the apple one last swipe against his sleeve and held it loosely in his hand. “Of course not. You don’t have to tell me anything. You’d be wiser not to. Everyone knows you don’t spill your all with strangers.” He tried not to let the irony color his voice but the boy narrowed his eyes. Probably beggars weren’t raised to avoid strangers. Anyway. “But if I were to…share my apple with your friend there, we’d all be friends, wouldn’t we? You could talk to me then?”

The boy’s mouth was still set in a mulish line, even as Valdir held out the apple. He’d give them all the coins he’d gathered too, if they’d tell him what he wanted to know, but he knew better than to be too generous upfront. If the boy let his brother take the apple at least they might stay and he could continue his pitch.

A small, pale face peeked out from around the boy’s back. Not brother, sister, he realized. Like her brother, she was all eyes and hair, but less suspicion, though not much. She looked at the apple first. It was the least bruised of the lot, mottled yellow and red with only one really bad brown spot. She licked her lips and he could see her hands tighten on her brother’s jerkin.

Gods, he wanted to just give her the apple, and the coins. Someone that young shouldn’t look that hungry.

She looked at him then, straight in the eye. It was disconcerting for her age, how clear and calculating her gaze was. But suddenly she cocked her head and gave him a sharp once-over like her brother had. She didn’t seem to come to same conclusion about him.

“Fretr—” she whined, tugging at her brother’s shirt.

“Have it if you want,” he grunted, not taking his eyes off.

“No, Fretr, that’s him! That’s the man from Stef’s song—”

“Shut up, Stenna!” Suddenly the canny young boy sounded so young—and looked like he was about to backhand his sister. She scampered away from him, just out of reach, which wasn’t far since her brother didn’t have much of a reach at his age.

Valdir flinched.

But the little girl didn’t back down. Planting her feet and glaring and pointing at Valdir, who cast a nervous glance around. But in places like this people minded their own business, even when grown men were talking to two small children on a street corner. It would be noticed, but no one was likely to interfere unless he did a lot more than wave an apple.

“Lookit him! Silver eyes and silver hair, like Stef’s been singin’ about. And he’s asking for him. It’s because he’s the man from the song!”

The boy scoffed and crossed his arms, meeting her glare for glare. “The man in the song’s a Herald, stupid. He ain’t no Herald.”

“How would you know? How many Heralds’ve you seen?”

“’Cause if he’s a Herald he’s one of the king’s men, and he’s probably here to take Stef away.”

Valdir blinked, finding himself the focus of the boy’s ire again.

“He wouldn’t do that,” the girl said softly, taking a step closer and looking up at him in a way that made him profoundly uncomfortable. “The man in the song’s a hero. Stef said. He wouldn’t take him away.”

“Ah—”

The boy came closer too, bristling. “Well? What are you? Are you a Herald?”

He looked between them, debating. They knew the Bard—

Trusting his instincts, he turned to the girl and offered her the apple, looking at her earnestly and pressing one finger to his lips.

She took the apple and broke out into a beaming grin.

Stenna insisted on leading him by the hand. Her tiny hand in his reminded him so much of Jisa, who’d led such a different childhood, that it hurt. The Bard was living in the house behind theirs, she told him. He was nice. He paid their da every week in advance and when their da wasn’t around he shared with them, a coin sometimes, or food, and he’d let them sit and listen to him sing some evenings. He made his money singing, on the other side of the river, when he wasn’t too tired—

The children shared a glance. ‘Tired’ wasn’t quite the word, apparently.

Fretr never did let down his guard, and Van understood why, now, if Stef was a source of coin and food in a life where both of those things were uncertain.

“There!” Stenna said, bouncing on her bare feet, pointing to what was more of a shed than a house, though in fairness, the ‘house’ that was in front wasn’t really much better. “Can we come with you?”

It would have been a relief to have them there, he was a wreck of nerves, but there was still such darkness seeping across the mental link. Innocent might not have been the right word for the children—if the boy had been just a little more subtle he might have succeeded in picking his pocket when they crossed that street, not that he’d have found anything if he had—but he couldn’t take them, not knowing what he’d find.

“Better not,” he said, patting her hand with his free one. “Stefen and I need to talk.”

“You won’t take him!” Fretr said, a command, not a request. “He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

He shook his head. “I promise. I’m not here to take him, I don’t have the authority for it. You’re right: he’s done nothing wrong.”

The boy’s hard gaze didn’t waver.

Knowing a lost cause, Van went to one knee before the girl and playfully kissed the back of her hand. “I thank you, my lady.”

She giggled and grinned, looking every bit the child she was—but she made the coins he’d passed her, all he’d had, disappear without blinking, so smooth he didn’t think her brother had caught it.

He smiled his nervous farewell, and tried to still his churning stomach as he went to knock on the door of the little shack.

There was no answer, and no sound, and no visible light from inside.

He tried the door, surprised to find it opened easily—letting out a cloud of thick smoke that made him cough, his eyes watering. Dreamerie.

He peered through the darkness, the only light was the failing evening gloom he’d let in through the door. There were two windows in the place, but they were shuttered.

The Bard sat cross-legged on a pallet under one of the windows. Hunched forward, his hair fallen in front of his face. His head shifted but he seemed incapable of figuring out what was going on until he managed to rake some of that hair away with one hand, holding it back while he blinked owlishly up at the doorway. He didn’t look much better than Van, for all his youth. Too thin, patches of red, scraggly stubble on his jaw and the hollows of his cheeks. He was still beautiful though.

For a moment, he didn’t seem to recognize Vanyel.

Then his eyes widened in fear, and he made a brief, aborted motion to stand, before sinking back where he stood. His hands shook when he brought out a small flask, not like the ones Van had seen him with before. This was a small glass vial, the sort you’d get at an apothecary.

He uncorked it and licked his lips. “Fuck you,” he said, hoarse.

Without thinking Van reached out and used a little mental nudge to knock the vial from the Bard’s trembling hand. The youth didn’t have the coordination to catch it, and it only took a little more flexing of his Fetching to shatter the bottle before the Bard could save it.

Continued in Chapter 2

Or on AO3

#LHM #the last herald-mage #Vanyel Ashkevron #Stefen #heralds of valdemar #my writing #fanfic #it makes me nuts that tumblr eats the italics when i copy paste #but not quite nuts enough to hunt them all down and put them back in

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emouradian · 7 years

Text

Grief: 18 Months Later

It’s been 18 months since my dad died and my life barely resembles the one he inhabited. 18 months ago, I had just moved from New York to Maryland (back in NY), rented a great, marina-front apartment (current situation: childhood home), was starting a big new position (eliminated) at the organization where I worked for over a decade (unemployed). To be fair, 18 months ago I had also never left the United States, and am currently writing this on a ferry journeying from Athens, Greece to Naxos Island, so it’s not all bad.

I’m wrapping up Week 2 in a month-long trek across Europe. For the equation to that, please see above loss of job, add severance and divide by limited adult responsibilities. This jaunt has already taken me to London, Edinburgh & Prague, across my parents homeland of Bulgaria, a popover in Athens and en route, at time of writing, to Naxos. Still to come: a week through Italy, a stop in Barcelona and finally the south of France. I suppose I should clarify, in this post-Fake News world we live in, that I have been to the Bahamas as a child, Puerto Rico as an adult and all countries in Epcot Center’s World Showcase Pavilion. You can follow the adventures of #AnEddieAbroad on Instagram. #branding

Over these past few weeks, as I’ve been on this adventure of a lifetime, I can’t help but wonder (cue Carrie Bradshaw voiceover): With my current life changing at such a breakneck pace, the loss of my father seems more and more distant. That must mean something, right? Have I gotten over it? Does moving around so much mean I have moved on? As I’ve come to ponder that question, I’ve realized the answer is simple: There is no answer to the question because the question is stupid.

You move on from the Beckys being mean to you in 2nd grade, you “get over” being too sick to go to Safety Town in 3rd grade. Here’s the shocker of loss I’ve discovered: You don’t ever move on. You never get over it. You start over.

After this kind of life change you just begin to exist as a slightly different version of your self, you start over. This is the version of me that doesn’t have a father. Because of that loss, I’ve felt and experienced so much more life - and it shows. Maybe not in creases on my face (post-Whole30 my skin looks amazing), but in a nearly invisible shadow cast over me. This new version functions in the world in a different way, like having an indiscernible limp after a bad car accident. New people I meet, hopefully at my new job (it doesn’t exist yet, so let’s all take a moment to cross our collective fingers, shall we?), will never know him, or know me with him in my life, and that will make our relationship different - not better or worse, just different. I think I may be less kind now, perhaps not in a way that anyone else notices but in ways that I feel in myself. Or maybe I just see the world that way, not necessarily darker but a hue more grey. I’m certainly less patient and find anger and jealousy much easier to access than before. I’m now the kind of person who prescribes meaning to everything – pennies, orange cats. Sometimes I’m so overwhelmed by the navigation of life as the new me, that I need to stop and stand still for a moment. I think I’ve developed eczema on my leg.

Now I realize this sounds mostly bleak, but really, it’s not: I go to the gym now and care about my personal health. I got everything in my body from top to tail checked out, because I wanted to feel strong and healthy, but also because it seemed like something a person who lost his father at 70 should do. I used to joke that I moved to Maryland to escape my friends and now if I could crawl into their collective skin, it wouldn’t be close enough. I’m closer with my mother, appreciate my sister, value my family more. Every Thursday in June I did something new that scared me – went to Yoga, took a spin class, got a tattoo. This version of me is writing because nothing makes me happier, and am trying, at thirty-six, to pursue it as my career (feel free to forward this to any agents you may know). I’ve gotten braver, more adventurous, even though a few months ago, just existing in the world was terrifying. Now I’m traipsing across Europe breathing in all it has to offer. Perhaps most telling of all, I’ve skipped an astonishing number of naps on this trip in favor of one more soul-righting site to see. Even when it’s not perfect, maybe especially when it’s not perfect, I feel an appreciation for life, for living, that I didn’t before. This new version of me I started over as, took the lemons that life served me, and decided to go to Europe for a month, because by the time I get back the lemons will have rotted and disintegrated into nothing. I don’t think I would’ve done that six months, a year, two years ago.

When you experience a huge loss - or, I suppose any big life change, as I imagine a lot of parents can relate to some of what I’m saying – a version of yourself vanishes, like Marty McFly’s siblings from a picture every time his mom flirts with him in Back to the Future (Sidenote: That movie has a lot of problematic elements). I didn’t expect this, even though, to be fair, I’ve experienced some degree of loss over my thirty-six years on Earth. The person who moved to Maryland for an exciting adventure to take on a big new job and meet new people and maybe find someone to spend his life with, that person is gone. In this particular chapter of “Choose Your Own Adventure: Life Edition”, I have lost the option of seeing what would become of that (potentially) loveable scamp. I suppose he’d grow to love soft shell crab and Old Bay seasoning, maybe he would’ve fought harder to stay at the job he’s been at since he was twenty-five, not because he wanted to but because it felt safe; Maybe he would’ve been brave enough to stay in Maryland for another year, just to give it a real chance to work, even if he hadn’t stayed at his job. But even that makes this guy a stranger - an outline of a person who will never be colored in. I never expected to mourn anything other than losing my dad, but I’ve come to realize that I grieve for that version of my life. Or maybe it’s just curiosity, or anger that I’ll never know, but it’s there, once at the outside of the frame, now coming sharper into focus. The real truth is this all stopped being about my dad a long, long time ago. To pretend like it hasn’t, like this is still only about him not being here, is like blaming a mass-shooting victim for being in the way of the gun.

I’ve become both better and worse in ways subtle and grand, in ways I probably wouldn’t have realized if I hadn’t started writing all this eighteen months ago. In death, my father gave me this incredible gift of a new version of myself, a new skin after the old has been shed, or more accurately, ripped off me. It was a gift I didn’t ask for, which sent me on a journey I wasn't quite ready for like Frodo and his ring or Buffy and her Slayer-ness or some other less nerdy example. It is a gift, this Eddie Reboot, that has made me want to call Life’s Manager and ask about the return policy several times. If given a map I could draw a line from the person I am today, standing on this boat, and the call I got from my mother telling me to drive to the hospital in New York during a snowstorm. It’s awful and wonderful to feel like anything good came from losing him; spectacular and devastating to think this new version of me may be the best one, that it could only exist without my father here.

I still miss my dad, sometimes so much, so thoroughly, so unexpectedly, I need to excuse myself in the middle of a conversation at a Scotland bar so I can go have a good, beer-infused cry in a bathroom stall. Sometimes I am so taken over by the magnitude of the beauty of this trip – both literally and figuratively – that I find myself needing to catch my breath. Eighteen months, to the day, after my father left us, I found myself in Bulgaria where he lived as a kid. Just a few days later I was in Greece, my old mentor and Work Dad Ted’s beloved home country on the anniversary of his passing. I no longer take the magic of that happenstance for granted.

Life is long and extraordinary and weird and beautiful. I think for the first time in my life, I can appreciate that; I can feel it jolting me awake like the salt water spraying my face on the deck of this ferry. And that I thank my dad for. Eighteen months gone and he still gives the best gifts.

#grieving #Grief And Loss #loss #loss of father #loss of a parent #wanderlust #eurotrip

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