#send me mail

[anastacialy]

guys, i think the hermits are going to accidentally start a prank war again. because just like last time, a game of telephone has begun. first, false made iskall's build into ''false beans,'' her shop from the previous season. however, to give herself plausible deniability, she signs it with "love, Joel. x" due to his username, smallishbeans.

next, iskall sees this, and completely believes it. he thinks it was joel who pranked him, and as he says to pearl while showing off the sign, which he kept even after tearing the prank down, "joel gave me a kiss." in his most recent video, he pranks joel by sending him loads of anonymous messages in order to completely spam and fill his inbox, preventing him from getting any more mail, with notes such as "thinking about you. x"

of course, joel is going to have absolutely no context for this, because he didn't make the initial prank. so who is joel going to assume sent him all those messages while he was away on holiday? well, i have a guess.

etho.

#hermitcraft #joel smallishbeans #iskall85 #ethoslab #falsesymmetry #was gonna include in the post but it made it way too long that the other option is he misreads the ''x'' as xisuma signing his name #and thinks. well god now xisuma is obsessed with me too? #like wrong person buddy iskall is apparently the obsessed one now #genuinely the funniest thing is that joel is away on holiday so he will have no idea these messages all came at once. #he might think someone just like really missed him over the course of several days dskjhf #and also this is ignoring the fact that any REAL MAIL people send him will despawn and be lost forever which will possibly #result in more chaos like whyd you never reply to my mail joel :c #this is not even scratching the surface of the possible prank war also this is one tiny branch of everything. not even getting into #the hermit statues and who's been building them etc etc #sorry this situation is just so. it's sooo.

[captain-astors]

Get in loser we’re burning down a Tesco’s.

#my art #death note #death note fanart #matt #mello #mihael keehl #mail jeevas #the names in this series never fail to absolutely send me. #It's been talked to death but MAIL?

[soreddieforit]

regulus sending james little videos of him getting himself off while james is at work

oh this is... yeah this is it.

he changes it up. sending james videos of him languidly stroking his cock and whining lowly. hips jerking into his hand with a wobbly, "fuck- james." or videos of him, legs spread and three fingers inside himself, with the caption 'they don't feel as good as yours :(' sometimes its one of him desperately grinding into the mattress, high pitched cries muffled by the bed sheets. he's sending pictures too. ones of him messy, cum covering his hands and chest after getting himself off. or texts of 'come home soon daddy <3' followed by pictures of him in lingerie—with pretty lace and pink bows that make james fucking feral. all of it does really, no matter what regulus sends. james thinks he must have been born with innate wiring that inevitably makes his brain short circuit whenever he sees regulus naked.

reg is a bastard too, sending them when he knows james is in a meeting. tries to see if he can get him weak, get him to send a 'christ love, you're gonna kill me' or an 'add another finger' the unspoken 'and send me another video once you do' clear to regulus. or, if he's already weak, see if he can get james to break. get him to excuse himself from the meeting and fumble into his office. to not even bother locking the door before shoving his pants down and wrapping a hand around himself. to use the last of his functioning brain cells to press the call button next to regulus' name; before dipping into arousal-induced drunkness at the sounds of regulus' moans and pictures on his phone.

#cis reg who am i? #nonnie mind giving me ur address so i can send u a love letter? #mail #jegulus #james potter #regulus black

[buwheal]

Man although I can't send this and have Spamton see the image (cuz it would be text instead) I'll send it to you and you can give me your opinion about it.

What do you think...

...about...

...snowy Spamton?

IT SNOWED YESTERDAY YESS!!!

(this was on a car btw, which made it even better)

#(EXTREMELY LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER NOISE) it has never said you couldnt send him images btw :-P so congrats he does get to see!!! #ive been meaning to answer this since like.. forever... this is from january 21st.... oops!!! I wasnt sure how to make him react #-to images then. #but i figured it out now lol. At least for this one.. sigh /nsrs #this image is so funny to me lmao /pos thank you so much i love it def one of my fav asks X-) Its so sweet <33 #[you've got mail!] #spamton #spamton g spamton #I hope his hair is greasy enough because MAN its slathered in there (wretch /j) i was struggling with his hair perspective tbh #deltarune #deltarune spamton #deltarune chapter 2 #spamton fanart #kingsis beat me to the images grrrr /J /nsrs I was saving them for something specific i wanted to do so thats why #youll see

[thatdeadaquarius]

OKAY BUT I HAVE MORE IDEA FOR BLUNT READER CUZ I LOVE THAT AU SO MUCHANDMDJFKSLDKF

So you know how french people's insult are always outta pocket (from a person who's first language is french I can tell you that no other language compares in insult -apart for African languages)

Like,, some "bad" insult here would be : bitch, fuck off, whore,..

Which we can all agree is boring...

BUT THEN IN FRENCH!!!

We be getting creative with it

Eg.

"mange tes mort" wich translates to "eat your dead (relatives)"

"vas te fair enculer" means "go get yourself pegged in the ass"

(yes, we have a specific word for being fucked in the ass 💀)

AND THOSE WOULD BE THE COMMON ONES AS WELL

English could never compare ✨

BUT ANYWAYS

how would the characters react if reader was from france/ belgium/ canada(or any other french speaking country) and started cursing people out like they eould do in their home countrie !?!?

The eay their face would drop

We would make a couple of people cry

AND GOD(us haha) FORBID A KID OVER-HEAR US AND STARTS REPEATING US

Trying to un-teach them would be hell *cries*

Your thoughts?

Love yaaaa~

ABSOLUTE TOP TIER ORAH MY BELOVED!!

Nobody has any idea how much I HATE ENGLISH both for its rules/pronounciation BS/etc. But also, most importantly, THERES LIKE NO GOOD CUSS WORDS- OR LIKE CUSS PHRASES??

I HAD TO PUT THIS GIF BC THAT WAS LITERALLY ME WHEN I HAD THE REALIZATION TO LOOK UP OTHER LANGUAGE CUSS WORDS AND I WAS JUST BLOWN AWAY BY HOW GOOD THEY WERE- HOW CREATIVE- 😫😭🥲 ENGLISH WHY R U SO SHITY IN EVERY POSSIBLE LANGUAGE SITUATION-

like idk we got "eat shit and die / fuck off / go fuck yourself" ???? Like- thats pathetic 😟.

I love hearing someone just cuss smbody out their native language/non-english, it’s so badass and cool to see

Anyway u already know i love non-native english speakers from the bottom of my heart✨️

GOD I FUCKING LOVE BLUNT LANGUAGE AU ITS LIKE ONE OF TOP FAV AS U CAN PROBABLY GUESS I COULD WRITE A LITERAL FANFIC ENTIRELY OFF THIS SIMPLE PREMISE 💖💓💗💞❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

omg so i HAVE SPECIFICALLY HEARD ABT FRENCH BEING RLLY CREATIVEEE

and i researched french cusswords/phrases,,,

😭 BRO IM CRYING

“bête comme ses pieds!” IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR-

(trans: you’re as stupid AS YOUR FEEEEEETT)

idk what’s funnier, you translating urself in real time and saying all these phrases to ppl,

OR just scaring the ever-loving shit out of every teyvat citizen within a mile radius bc oh wow- you look pissed, so yeah somebody’s about to lose all their self-esteem for the rest of their life bc ur insults are known to be extra cutting bc ur so blunt-

OH CREATOR ABOVE (…oh creator, present??)- you changed to your holy language FOR THIS???

everybody just giving the npc the most bombastic side-eye for pushing you to do this,

or even just you stubbing ur toe/ate food when it was too hot

or my favorite, getting onto ppl like Wanderer when they do smth silly lmao

STOP I HAD A FOUL THOUGHT OF GETTING ONTO Ei AND WANDERER (like ei for not keeping him/at least giving him to someone else to raise, then all the shit he did as Scaramouche lol)

AND THIS CUSSWORD COMES OUT UNDER UR BREATH OR SMTH- DOES THIS FIT BC THIS KILLS ME:

“Putain de salope…” (whore of whore, I LIED IT MEANS FUCKING BITCH LMAO😭)

JUST GETTING THE MOM AND THE SON IN ONE FULL BREATH CRYINGGGG

STOPPP wanderer using it against other ppl ever since u used it lol

oh no stop dont bring the kids into thisss 😭😭

Klee would deffo be the first one to pick up ur words and use them, omg she just uses them as catchphrases like when throwing her bombs 💀

“Mange tes mort!” JUST WITH A SMILE ON HER FACE AS SHE THROWS HER HUGE SKILL BOMB INTO A FISH POND

Venti would definitely make sure the winds “pass along phrases of the sacred All-God language!”

which just means anyone who UNDERSTANDS YOU JUST GETS GENTLY CREATIVELY CUSSED OUT BY THE WIND IM SOBBINGGG

☆

i hope u guys are having a great summer! its basically too hot to go outside where I am, not unless ur going straight into the water or smth

which hey, ill be doing that this weekend, floating down the river about an hour away from my house with friends! :]

which,,, if anyone sees this, U GOTTA HELP ME THINK OF A 1000 FOLLOWERS MILESTONE THING TO DO IDK WHAT TO DO BUT I WANNA CELEBRATE IT BC I NEVER THOUGHT THATD HAPPEN!! lmk what u think in the comments if u read this!

☆

Safe Travels 0rah,

💀♒

♡the beloveds♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist / @thedevioussmirk / @the-dumber-scaramouche / @chocogi

#srry i take so long to answer smth so simple #i actually have a surprising amount of asks! #i was thinkin abt it the other day like #damn should i reopen mail box #then i was like #not really bc i still got a lot of stuff to answer! #so now ITS CRAZZYYY to see my first posts/asks and see me trying to get ppl to send asks! #anyway i gotta make a 1000 followers thing bc i love u guys #sagau #genshin sagau #genshin impact sagau #sagau x reader #genshin imagines #genshin isekai #gender neutral reader #self aware genshin #genshin impact au #genshin x reader

[peachsayshi]

actually going crazy over your last post like i wish i could use better words but it’s actually reduced me to soup for brains rn.

OK BUT imagine all that and include….. forced proximity.

like i have this hc ab having him asigned to you during his transition into the jj world, maybe bc ur technique counters his well somehow? (irrelevant to my horny brain, but i also like to imagine a technique similar to the avatar from atla very ambitious ik, which would include blood bending) and the elders want to be really sure he’s not a threat. so here you are the first few months (im ignoring everything bad going on in the manga lmao) with Choso following you around everywhere bc you’re not allowed to have him out of your sight. can you imagine the first few times he caught on to your “heat” and didn’t know what to do with himself? he can barely get away from you long enough to clear his head and it drives him crazy.

anyways, i could go on forever ESPECIALLY ab Choso, but yeah love your writing and i wanted to share what it made me think of <3

(cw: voyeurism; primal/prey (ish?) )

nonnie, please, let's talk about this some more. choso isn't leaving my head today and I feel like I'm about to go insane.

(ps. the details of your technique countering/balancing choso's is such an amazing idea!! I love that!!)

oh, our poor baby boy. he would be positively frazzled in the beginning - he'd struggle to cope, and look visibly distraught. at first you just think it's an inherent strangeness that he has because he's half cursed spirit. but then you start realizing that this reaction doesn't always happen because there are times when he's completely normal and not like he's been plagued with visceral discomfort.

you like choso. you think he's sweet, a little innocent and naive, but kind overall. he never gave you any reason to doubt that but even you can't deny the dark glimmer in his eye when he looks at you. it's a gaze that he shares with no one else. and the expression on his face, cheeks red with a friendly smile, simply counter the danger that swirls in his irises.

it's a look that makes you want to hide like a bunny scampering away from a lone predator.

of course, you have to tell yourself that you're being foolish. shrugging off your ridiculous nerves when you remind yourself that this is choso you're worrying about.

the man can barely hold it together when yuji shows him one of those adorable cat videos that he finds online. there's no reason for you to be so unnerved by him.

and yet, you're you're hyper aware of how small the space is whenever you're forced to share a room together while away on a mission. you notice that choso, is in fact, quite large and takes up plenty of the space. he's all broad shoulders and ripped muscle; obsidian details contrasting against his smooth, pale canvas. you can't turn without him being in your line of sight.

trapped in a cage of four walls.

it's when you're alone with him that you pay attention to how those eyes deepen, sinking further into the depths of peculiar mystery, revealing a puzzle that you can't seem to decipher. it's when you're alone with them where you realize that sometimes his attention will drop to your lips, or to your breasts. it's when you're alone with him when you feel the pulse of adrenaline reverberate across your skin, goosebumps rising with your heart beating wildly as you ponder whether or not to let your guard down.

he slips up once when you're both away. you swear you felt him breathe in the scent of your perfume against your neck, but choso reacted like nothing was out of the ordinary as you spun on your heel to confront him. his discipline strikes with a twitch of his jaw and a clench of his fist, and he simply fibs that he was looking over your shoulder to observe the mission documents on the table.

his cheeks are blushing furiously now, and it twists your stomach into knots.

he can't possibly...

you shake your head, refusing to reduce his behavior to something so simple as a silly crush.

yes, you both spend a lot of time together, but choso is a death painting womb. he isn't even human. there is no way that he could be feeling those kind of feelings. and especially not with you.

but the thought sits in your head until later that evening, when you're standing in the hotel bathroom. there's an ache in your chest that's spreading down between your legs. you've never actually thought about choso in this capacity, and you don't understand why it's making every nerve tingle.

it's bold of you to make the decision and open the shared bathroom door until it was ajar. to then step into the steamy shower, the silhouette of your enticing, captivating curves a print for the wolf to track. and you can't help but wonder as warm droplets trickle over your soft, delicate skin...if he's standing there right now, and observing you patiently from the shadows.

#choso x reader #choso x you #choso imagine #choso smut #> secret mail 💌 #NONNIE PLEASE YOU DID NOT HELP MY BRAIN ROT TODAY #sos send help I need this man to mount me

[davactivated]

Kent sending a gift through mail always makes me laugh because my thought process is just

I hope your farms doing we- WRONG!! MEGABOMB IN YOUR MAIL💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣

#Kent in stardew valley is just so funny sometimes #stardew valley #sdv #stardew #sdv kent #stardew kent #shitpost #Kent please stop sending me bombs in the mail me and my spouse cant do this anymore

[peevishpants]

when my sis visits me she's a Mr. Shakedown kind of menace

when i visit my sis i'm a Phoenix Wright Cross Examiner kind of menace

#menace recognize menace #comic #weiwei art #i love 2 journal thru comics #today on: Personal Comics! new episodes uhhh whenever i feel like it #if u know who my sister is u can send her funny hate mail #tell her to give me free stuff #tell her to give me her kotatsu #im joking about the hate mail please dont send her hate mail i love my sister

[pterribledinosaurdrawings]

service canada phonecall.png

#paperwork #phonecalls #this was a few weeks ago and I made several calls and talked to only two humans #and made no progress and gave up and ate some ice cream #went to the office in person today and waited for a thousand years for my number to be called #(after having gone 2 days ago only to be told they were understaffed and given an appointment to come back today) #and HOPEFULLY have solved the paperwork troubles but I must wait a few more weeks for things to arrive in the mail. #bleh. #one of the humans I talked to took down my email address and said he'd send me more contact info #but alas it never arrived #maybe he got my email wrong. who knows!

[salamanderpickle]

🚨 PSA FOR MY COLORADO HOMIES 🚨

If you live in an apartment complex or have a mail locker of any kind

GET YOUR MAIL EVERY DAY.

Colorado mail lockers all use the same master key and that key has been stolen. Mail theft is on the rise. My apartment's mailboxes have been broken into 3 times and management never told us. I did not find out until I walked into the mailroom and found a bunch of lockers open and empty.

I recently applied for my passport. When you do that they mail you back your identifying documents. My fucking original birth certificate and my new credit card were both stolen out of my mailbox this weekend.

The only thing you can do to prevent theft from your mailroom is to get your mail every single day.

#Dont be like me and check it once a week #Our security camera is broken too #I'm so mad #PSA #mail theft #colorado #this is my karen origin story #im sending so many heated emails #managament has a fucking responsibility to warn residents of ongoing crimes like this

[puppyeared]

I love you when we haven’t talked in weeks and months I love you when I have 12 unread messages I love you when im not in the mood to talk. We’re still friends even when we spend time apart

#it’s like delayed parallel play to me.. or perhaps sending letters in the mail #when I wrote this it’s because I have this thing that is like. having too much of a good thing #like if I talk to someone and love them too much I burn out.. does that make sense?? is that a universal experience??? #so sometimes when I have to spend time by myself I don’t stop loving my friends I think #especially because when I burn out I feel miserable for no reason and my brain comes up with ways to hate people #like oh they’re probably spending time with other ppl you’re disposable.. they probably forgot about you #one time I thought that if my friends were getting married they’d forget to invite me and it became a fear I’m trying to get over #but the answer I came up with is to keep reminding people I exist to stay present in their lives #even if it’s not as often as I can manage or would like. idk #yapping #feelings

[bizarrelittlemew]

speechless because @xoxoemynn sent me custom-made commemorative coasters and a mug of the time david jenkins reblogged my gifset i mean PLEASE 😭😭😭

I'M IN TEARS EMY WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE YOU. NOT GONNA TALK ABOUT THE CARD BECAUSE I WILL CRY FR AGAIN

i was already so grateful you'd send along the stuff i ordered (and the most well-traveled lil vampire guy who has now found a purple crocodino boyfriend in denmark, look at them!!) and then you did all this what the fuck 😭

(i got the t-shirt and a few of the stickers myself but i was NOT PREPARED FOR ALL THIS)

i'm struggling to find words for how touched i am and how lucky i feel to have you in my life 😭

i think this might have healed something in me from having the cancellation happen on my birthday (😔✌️) like this fandom is incredible and has helped me meet people who mean so much to me, i couldn't imagine my life without you 💖💖💖 marianne you're the kindest loveliest person and you deserve all the best in the world, thank you for being just the way you are 🥹💗

#🐭📓 #this one goes out to the rest of evil gang too MEOW I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS AKSJDHJKS #seriously this is the... fourth time i've received mail from people i've met through this fandom and EVERY TIME IT GIVES ME SHRIMP EMOTIONS #LIKE HOW ARE THERE SO MANY LOVELY INCREDIBLE PEOPLE HERE #who care enough about little me in this tiny cold country to send such lovely letters 😭 #HEART SO FUCKING FULL

[morganbritton132]

i wonder how steve’s neurological issues and eddie’s career interact. like obviously metal music is not gonna work with seizures and migraines, so im wondering if steve ever feels like hes not doing enough, like he’s a bad partner who doesn’t support eddie’s passion.. Plus i imagine the overprotective fans who notice steve is never at any concerts and how eddie keeps joking about how steve despises metal music, leading them to go on a whole tirade about how eddie deserves better yadayadayada ☹️

I have been staring at this prompt since you sent it, trying to articulate what I want to say because it’s so good. I think it really opens up the door to talk about parasocial relationships and fans who overstep, which I find endlessly fascinating.

Fans notice things.

They notice things and they think that they knows things, and then they tweet about it. They make YouTube videos and TikToks, and they post to their Instagram stories. Eventually articles are written about it and those articles make it into the Facebook algorithm and then mixed into Steve’s timeline.

So, he sees it.

A fan posts about how there are virtually no videos of Steve at award shows where Corroded Coffin had been nominated. They say that he was uninterested or not supportive, but not that Steve was just terrified of Eddie being outed and his career ending. Being in a queer relationship in the nineties could destroy your career and Steve never wanted to do anything that would jeopardize the band’s success.

Even after Eddie came out publicly, his record label’s PR team told them not to be seen being intimate with each other. They could walk side by side, but they couldn’t hold hands. They could hug goodbye but not kiss. It wasn’t just Eddie’s career. What do you think is going to happen when parents find out a homosexual was teaching their children?

A fan tweets about how Steve is never at Corroded Coffin’s concerts and when he is, he just hangs out backstage. Fans quote tweet it talking about how Steve doesn’t give a shit about the music, but say nothing about the noise and the lights that cause him to have migraines. They say nothing about how terrifying the thought of having a seizure in a moshpit is.

And it’s not just that.

It’s not just that everybody thinks that he’s an unsupportive husband or that he hates Eddie’s music.

Eddie live-streams in the car on his way to pick Steve up from work, spends the entire time talking about how he’s going to take him on a date. When Steve gets in the car, he turns Eddie’s music down. That’s a TikTok about how Steve refuses to show any interest in Eddie’s hobbies. Eddie tells him what he wants to do and Steve says, “Not today.”

That’s a YouTube video about how Eddie is a doting husband and Steve is an ungrateful bitch, and not that Steve had a seizure at lunch and a migraine pressing against the back of his eyes. It says nothing about how Eddie knows this, Eddie’s used to this. This is how it is with head trauma, some things falls through and they pick them up when they can.

None of these fans know anything and it ends up in the ads and the articles that Steve sees on Facebook, and it makes him feel like shit. It’s everything that Steve was trying to avoid when he told Eddie to break up with him in ’87.

He told Eddie then that all this shit in his head was only going to get worse and it was just going to hold him back when the band was just taking off, and Eddie had refused to accept that.

He refuses to accept it now and tells Steve that those articles don’t matter. They’re written by morons that don’t know shit, but it doesn’t matter. It’s like the whole world is looking at them and telling him that Steve is shit at loving Eddie when it’s the only thing he thought that he got right.

#I always think about those ‘fans’ that send hate mail to people’s girlfriends and how it would come into play in this AU #this was such a good ask so sorry it took me literal months to respond #eddie munson tiktok saga #steve harrington #eddie munson

[aromantic-diaries]

you’re in a PM Seymour video

you have achieved Tumblr fame ™️

I'M WHAT

Can someone send me a link holy shit

#can someone send me a link or something holy shit #anon #mail time

[trader-scars]

Dear followers,

I am Maple Prince trader-scars from Tumblr Land. Your help would be very appreciated. I want to transfer all my fortune outside of Tumblr Land due to a frozen account.

If you could be so kind and transfer small sum of 5 Diamond to my account, I would be able to unfreeze my account and transfer my maple syrup outside of Tumblr Land.

To repay your kindness, I will send 100 maple syrup to you.

- Maple Prince trader-scars

#hermitcraft season 10 spoilers #hermitblr #hermitcraft #ethoslab #goodtimeswithscar #(for clarification i'm copying ethos mail scam. do not send me money. i do not have maple syrup to give you.) #^^ for legal reasons i need to include #maple prince etho real <3

[galactiquest]

Feral for affection uncanny vash or knives.

🌻have a good day

Hi there Sunflower Anon! I'm going to call you that, especially if you come back again with another sunflower. Thanks for the ask!!

I've seen the uncanny Vash and Knives stuff blow up in popularity. I Was there. Though sometimes I feel it's disingenuous to call them uncanny--that's our human interpretation of their forms. Maybe something more along the lines of primal? Well, syntax aside, I think it's a super fun idea to lean more into the alien ideals of Plants. I have plenty of my own headcanons for how the two look and operate, but, let's not focus on that right now. Let's just get affectionate!

Vash and Knives x Reader: Affections (Uncanny ver.)

Content Warnings: General uncanny or possibly unnerving content ahead. Features like multiple eyes/limbs/etc. are discussed, and there may be an implicit body horror to it. No violence, though! Just cuteness aside from all that!

Vash

I think Vash is pretty hesitant at first to show you any sort of uncanny parts of himself. I mean, we already know how he feels about his scars--he really doesn't want to scare you off, especially once you two have become close.

But if you can slowly and gently coax him out of his shell, if you can convince him that yes, you'll love every part of him, no matter how ugly he may think those parts are, he'll eventually relent.

And at first, it's just a few features that pop out. It might be reflective, glowy eyes in the nighttime, or fingers that have grown out just a little too long for the average man, or even a few spiny scutes along his back.

Once he's comfortable, though? He lets it all hang out. Not like that--he just allows his true form to come through. And there's lots of limbs and even some sharp edges to deal with... But if you're patient, you'll find he's maybe even more affectionate like this!

Cuddles end up the best because now instead of two (sometimes one, if he has the prosthetic off) arms around you, it's six (more like five!) and you are ever-so-tightly squeezed against his body. He also has a very comfortable temperature, so you never have to worry about being too hot or too cold. It's just right!

Purring. Yes, I know it's cliché, I know that it's mentioned in every imagine, but come on. It's so cute. I don't think it's like animal purring, though, maybe more like an engine. Or perhaps more akin to a larger cat purring. Less cutesy, more... well, rumbly. Sometimes it makes his whole body vibrate.

With his extra appendages, he loves to tickle you. Prepare to be bombarded with tickles. He's able to dance across your skin so fast that you can barely catch him in time to try and swat him away.

Kisses! He tries to be so careful with kisses since his jaw can unhinge and all that. And lots of teeth get in the way. But if you don't mind that... Or perhaps, if you're into that... Well, you can definitely start experimenting. But he's still as gentle as possible.

Knives

Now this is someone who's not afraid to show you their true self. Knives is going to quickly reveal his primal form to you. If you can't learn to get comfortable with it, he's obviously not for you. (It begs the question as to why he keeps a more humanoid form too--maybe it's just easier to get around in human-sized spaces with?)

No matter your initial reaction, I think he's going to make some kind of comment. You get scared? Typical human. You like it? Disgusting. You act as utterly neutral as possible? Don't lie to yourself. There's seriously no winning with him.

But with whatever charm (or perhaps sheer persistence) you give, the two of you are a pair now. And if there's one word to describe how he acts with you? It's protective.

If you two are ever out and about, he's got a sharp, bright wing curled over and around you, shielding from peering eyes. On the outside, it's all points and blades (and knives?) but on the inside, only for you to see, there's some softer, more downy feathers. Just so you won't rust up the blades, whatever you say, Knives.

His conscious self isn't keen to showing affection, but his subconscious body sure is. Expect a few tingly vines trying to wrap around and hold your hand, or a tail-like appendage that rests on your waist/shoulders, or a wing tickling your cheek. He swears he isn't doing it intentionally.

Unlike his brother, he's not a super affectionate guy, as stated above, so don't expect much in the way of kisses. Unless the two of you are alone, and he's in a better-than-usual mood. Then his cravings might get the better of him, and he might just tackle on top of you to bite a chunk out of you--I mean, get a few sloppy kisses in.

Overall? In front of others, relatively distant. Behind closed doors? You're becoming his. Tight tendrils keep you close at night, teeth nibble at the nape of your neck, the sharp edges of leaves or feathers tease your skin but never come too close. He's too precise to actually ever hurt you.

End Notes: I think their "true" forms are something akin to an insectoid/angelic/plant-like mix, where it's sort of indescribable, archaic, tangled and messy. Maybe I ought to draw them and show you all...~

Also, there REALLY need to be more 1998 Knives gifs, or I'm about to pony up and just make a buttload of my own.

Okay, last note. Sorry this took me a while! I just moved back into college and my first week was busy! (^人^)

#vash x reader #vash the stampede x reader #knives x reader #millions knives x reader #trigun x reader #galactifics #love mail #Anonymous #🌻 anon #look at that you even get your own tag so if you come back you can send me more!!!