#sense. To Me. ive already written a lot on my thoughts about all of that though [uhhh in the tags of my gifset of the fight at Zach's house

[ectonurites]

almost 4am can't stop thinking about the meaning of the idiom 'to have blood on [someone's] hands'—to be responsible for a person's death—combined with the fact that Zach is the one we are specifically shown with Daryl's actual blood on his hands (once for real and once in a dream)... Not Josh who had been holding the sword Daryl fell onto, but Zach who took the sword out.

#super dark times #+ part of it that's insane to me is: Josh COULD have easily ALSO gotten (literal) blood on his hands—we see him go to check for a pulse #after Zach did... but we don't see his hands during that—they're left out of the shot! we just see his face. and when we see his hands next #there's no visible blood on them (if any got on he theoretically wiped 'em off ig? similarly Zach's hands when seen AFTER the shot of him #touching Daryl ALSO don't rlly show blood anymore—we see his hands in the leaves tho so it prob went there) BUT SO there was a CHOICE made #to give us a close up shot of ZACH pulling his hand away from the wound with blood on it... but to NOT do the same/smthn similar with Josh. #and yet ZACH is the one who CAN'T ACCEPT THE ROLE HE PLAYED IN ANY OF ITTTTT!!!!!!! GAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! #this post brought to you by me rewatching the Zach + Charlie on the phone scene and needing to just. stop and scream at Zach being #like 'Josh‚ or fucking somebody else‚ they went up there and if they found Daryl alive—' LIKE BRO. YOU *KNOW* HE WAS DEAD. #YOU KNOW. YOU KNOOOOW. YOU WERE THERE. YOU KNOW HE WAS ALREADY DEAD. the denial. the trying to find any fucking way that #there could be even a sliver of a possibility that it WASN'T even PARTIALLY his fault.... shifting the blame entirely onto Josh... #[plus like. the 'somebody else' only added in after Charlie was giving him shit for trying to complicate this more—at first he was #straight up saying Josh was the one that fucked with the body]... aghghghsfd he makes me INSANE #also fwiw. i'm forever a 'Josh didn't harm anyone on purpose until AFTER his fight with Zach at Zach's house' truther. that provides #at least SOME sort of motivation to push him over an edge into... the shit that happens. anything before that just fuckin' doesn't make #sense. To Me. ive already written a lot on my thoughts about all of that though [uhhh in the tags of my gifset of the fight at Zach's house #anyways. im also NOT trying to say 'ah so we should Just Blame Zach' because nah nah this whole thing was a fucked up accident. they're all #to blame. plus Josh did horrible shit at the end On His Own there's no way of getting around that—but the messiness of how Zach handled the #initial incident and how that ripples out across the whole movie is simply soooooooo... ghghGHGhghGHGhghghgh. To Me. #in conclusion: im soooooooo normal about the characters in this movie (<- lying)

[c1oud999]

hi

i just wanted to come on here and talk about my experience with spirituality. warning: longggg post ahead.

basically ive been in the spiritual community for YEARS now. ive had existential crisis since the age of 11 and ive gone through many phases of many different spiritual trends. from law of attraction, to witchcraft, to religious devotion, to law of assumption and now finally non dualism. i read books, meditated for hours and hours, talked to spiritual ppl from all walks of life and watched all the episodes of ganga upanishad (a show i still highly recommend, you can watch on youtube). all this childhood trauma and mental illness made me crave for sweet relief. but nothing really made sense until law of assumption. i thought that that would be it yk. i thought i was done searching but i think that was when i was searching for things the most. i do know i have it in my 4d, when will i see it? i thought i would get all my desires but did not meet success. and then the non dualism trend began and i hopped onto it like pretty much everyone else. i was bewildered at the stuff teachers kept saying. what do you mean everything's an illusion? there's no way that's true. my very real surroundings are causing me VERY real pain and suffering. oh no no there must be a deeper meaning behind all this. and so i read all the books in 4dbarbies drive, but nothing clicked. yes it made sense intellectually, but i didnt want to believe it bc where is the materialisation satisfaction here? also i felt none of the euphoria that was supposed to come with self realisation. which means i must not be a realised being. and then i cried and cried and cried, isolated myself, literally stopped going to school and just lay in bed all day. but ofc, i continued to read the tumblr posts like i had been doing for the past several years. and yesterday i read 4dkelly's post about giving up. it made sense. by the time i had finished reading the post i had truly given up on everything. on wanting, hoping, fearing, striving etc etc. i was SO tired. so i gave up. fell asleep. i woke up really late as usual and missed the school bus. i ate breakfast in silence, switched the tv on and lied down on the couch like always. and like always out of compulsion and force of habit i reached for my phone and looked up non dualism on twitter. and then i came across a tweet that said a simple sentence only- "nothing is ever actually happening." woah. that kinda drove me to the edge of the cliff i desperately wanted to jump off. i turned on some dnb background music and turned the shower on. i stood under the boiling hot water like some dramatic bitch and started piecing together the "puzzle". it all made so much sense now. i got out of the shower and left the house for the first time in months with a cute outfit and makeup on and everything. i went to the mall, bought candles, stickers, eye masks, coffee, and a doughnut with absolutely no social anxiety at all. i sat by window, read some poetry on my e-reader, cried, peered down at the floor below me and cried some more at the sight of little kids sitting on santa's lap and taking pictures and marveled at all the christmas decorations around me. it was insane. i decided i was going to be neutral towards everything but im in love. maddeningly so. in love with this dream that i thought did not love me back. but love is all there is. I AM ALL THERE IS. and i need you to take this literally. there is nothing happening. there is nothing here except you. nothing to fear, nothing to desire. ik a lot of people are going to dismiss this post because it's not a "materialisation success story" but i honestly dont think i can ever want anything physically bc in all its true essence, what is there to materialise? i am already whole and complete. i am lying on this cold hard floor, but i have never felt warmer. also ik there may be a lot of things ive written you might not agree with but again, this is NOT REAL. I AM. i hope this post helps you.

thank you to all the blogs ive come across and all the pointers they have shared: @se1f @realisophie @itgomyway @4dkellysworld @4dbarbie-backup @infiniteko @iamthat-iam and many more i cannot thank enough.

lots and lots of love (more than you can ever imagine), and good luck.

#nondualism #consciousness #advaita vedanta #awareness #advaita #non duality #law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting #neville goddard

[red-might-be-dead]

hello hi here to force strange thoughts into your brain once again, this time about jrwi (wow who could’ve guessed)

been thinking about this for a little but it’s basically what i think some campaigns would be if not podcasts, i haven’t listened to some of the older ones so i’m sorry they’re not on here :(( if you have any ideas feel free to add them btw :DD

RIPTIDE!!!!! - really long animated series

not an anime though, no matter how much grizzly wants it, it would be an animation style where the characters could have very clearly different nose, face and body shapes, really pushing my riptide nose agenda here sorry, each episode would be like 20-40 minutes long and instead of coming out in seasons there would be massive gaps in between episodes, from 2-6 months long, to leave time for writers and animators to get stuff done (massive team of animators btw, i feel like it would be pretty successful)

PRIME DEFENDERS!! - comics

literally nothing else they could be, just really well made, well performing comics (i’ve already talked about this before you can stalk my talk tag if you really want to find it lmao), the comic company making them would be keeping well away from movies n shit btw

APOTHEOSIS!!! - i wasn’t really sure about this one to be honest

i had to ask my friend and she said anime which i don’t agree with but i can see it, i think maybe a short book series where each book is 150 - 300 pages and is about a different god they have to kill/a different episode, i think that works but if anyone has any better ideas please tell me :D!!

BLOOD IN THE BAYOU!!! - i hate to say it, i really do…

bitb would be a really long really good 80s horror book with strong homoerotic undertones, a satisfied fanbase and lots of active members in the community making fan comics, films, writing, theories and art ect… until well after the book came out……….. and then it would be made into the most egregious and awful live action movie you have ever seen, the most awful casting (like chris pratt as officer dudes….. throws up) and even worse sfx, oh yeah and the characters would be ruined and the story would become so butchered it wouldn’t make sense, they would do some shit like cut out becky so kian just kisses some random lady (removing both a really good and well written character and a layer of kian’s character that i think is super important) and make rolan really be an evil bug spy the whole time so rand has to kill him to save the town also add in a whole new sub plot that never existed like the rand family is secretly a long line of bug alien hunters or something fucking stupid like that and the entire fanbase would murder whoever thought re-writing the story was a good idea (ahaha can you tell ive been through something like this before ahahaha, character morals and motives being removed and whatnot ahahahhahahaha.)

anyways………

THE SUCKENING!!! - live action series

it would be well made though, unlike the bitb movie it would be its own original thing, have great makeup and effects also be well casted and well shot, well written, ect ect, it would bloody and gory and not suitable for people who can’t handle showing bones and organs all over everywhere, lots of shitty rip off merch would be made though and the fandom would be 99% gay little freaks (normal suckening enjoyers) and 1% homophobic straight white men who get mad whenever they see soda and emizel having gay sex on screen or whatever fag shit that biting thing was

again feel free to add your thoughts and ideas and shit in the reblogs it would be nice to read them :DD!!

#red rambles relentlessly #jrwi show #jrwi pd #the suckening #jrwi riptide #jrwi apotheosis #jrwi bitb #jrwi spoilers #jrwi the suckening #jrwi prime defenders #bitb spoilers #suckening spoilers #i think i wrote some shit that could be considered spoilers in those two sections #definitely the bitb one #which i definitely didn’t base around a certain netflix adaptation of one of my old favourite books cough cough #I HATE THAT FILM SO MUCH WHY DID YOU DO THAT TO SOPHIES CHARACTER SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A BITCH STOP TRYING TO MAKE HER NICE #anyways like maybe one person who sees this post will know what that’s referencing #and i will admit the books weren’t perfect but at least the characterisation made sense

[irldiancie]

All Kagehina “proof” I know of

Ok i wasnt gonna post this but ive been told by a friend to explain why some might ship Kagehina so... try me. i dont exactly ship this myself but lets just say im a pro when it comes to this topic also it's not as bad as i thought it was there are worse ships idk why i was a hater also i lowkey got some of this from shipping wiki but most of it i knew already, plus NOT ALL OF THIS IS NECESSARILY REFERENCES TO THE SHIP it kinda just adds on to it anyways lets just get into it

ok so starting with common knowledge i think everyone knows that Hinata is the protagonist followed with Kageyama being the deuteragonist, they get the most screen time together and are pretty much paired MOST of the series, we get a lot of content with them together while also getting content of them on their own, they're known as the "freak duo," the "greatest teammates" and like 100 other names they've been called I've seen a lot of people intemperate their relationship wrong, I've seen a few say Kageyama was downright "abusive" to Hinata which I think is a little farfetched, but to each their own! They genuinely do care for each other and it shows, even at the end of the manga you can tell how far their relationship has come, even if they consider themselves rivals, they are without a doubt still friends Now a lot of people have said "well they're not gay they're just friends", while this is true, it has been referenced/implied officially in many places, including manga panels and english dubs, so while it isn't canon there is a few cute things about it which we know are official which is why I'm sharing this, I myself know it isn't canon, plus I didn't really make this to prove anything it was kinda for fun sorry if that made little to no sense but I'll start getting into more interesting stuff 1. at the tip of the iceberg we have the fact they're in so much official art together

theres like a 1000 more of these btw theyre often put near eachother even in official arts not based off them

I have like 1k more of these but i have more proof than this but i think you get my point some of this is probably promo art but that's also considered official art so 2. moving on i think another known one is that Ukai calls them lovebirds ONE TIME in English dub and I have no idea who approved that but I think it's funny and obviously this probably meant nothing but take it as you want video of it here 3. this is kinda randomly thrown in but the fact that they also trust eachother, they've mentioned it a couple times but I think it's nice to know 4. i dont remember when this was or what chapter or something but kageyamas grandfather said "somebody even better will come for you", which just happened to be Hinata of course 5. ALSO after that whole fight scene back in season two, Hinata says this

he didnt really consider kageyama as a friend, but he considered him a partner which i believe is more important to hinata. teammates/partners were always something Hinata wanted, as before he went to Karasuno, he didn't feel like his friends in Junior high were necessarily teammates. Meaning he valued Kageyama more because he was his partner.

(credits to triananero for these images) and when him and Kageyama started working together, they most definitely were perfect together, as they balanced each-other out, which made them become an unstoppable duo or whatever they called them 6. the fact that they have matching jersey numbers 9 and 10 moving on to less canon stuff, there is a light novel of Haikyuu called Haikyū!! Shōsetsuban!! which probably isnt close to canon but Furudate was a part of it even though it wasn't written by him, so it's at least somewhat official 7. anyway according to shipping wiki there is a chapter where Kageyama feels "fluttery feelings at the bottom of his stomach" when Hinata texts him, it's on volume 8 chapter 1, I REALLY WANTED TO SHOW YOU GUYS BUT I COULDNT FIND IT ANYWHERE ONLINE. i searched countless tumblr posts and websites but i could only find chapter five and chapter three so im fully convinced this is lost media LMAOOOO 8. also in Haikyū!! Shōsetsuban!! apparently there's a part where Hinata daydreams about him and Kageyama eating under cherry blossom trees i just found that cute AS MUCH AS I WANNA SHOW YOU GUYS I LITERALLY CANNOT FIND ANYTHING OF THIS LIGHT NOVEL ANYWHERE i just know it's real, if I ever get my hands on it which I doubt, I'll share proof it exists btw AND THIS IS REALLY RANDOM AND SOMEONE WANTED ME TO INCLUDE THIS BUT 9. Basically there was a ad for deodorant a couple years back, collabing with Haikyuu, where you could buy deodorants to “smell like them” or whatever, some shippers believe it’s a Kagehina reference as they also advertised Kageyama and Hinatas scents together as some like matching couple thing

and then there's this

And I think I've said enough, there's way more you can find out about this ship, but I hope with this post you've learned something new or whatever... I MIGHT MAKE THIS A SERIES should i do kenhina next or kuroken ANYWAYS DISCLAIMER I didnt look too much into most of these things but I can gaurentee this stuff is true also this was just for fun and not serious but i hope you liked my little post!

#haikyuu #kagehina #im just rambling #kageyama #tobio kageyama #haikyuu!! #ship #um #PLS ignore all the grammar mistakes i made this wasnt supposed to be serious #i love hinata shouyou #hinata shouyou #shippingpost #haikyu #hi #wht ship should i do next

[xtcz]

hi, new ish xtc fan here .. was wondering if you know thr best places to find like the most niche info about them? if that makes sense LOL theyve just been scratching the brain so good and ive read song stories but i want More .. hope its not weird to ask you this :[

it’s never weird to learn about xtc…….

erm for some photos and song notes and interview transcripts chalkhills.org is my best best friend. they’re an old style fansite with tons of archived stuff, they also have tons of xtc guitar tabs 😁😁 optimismsflames.com is another old fansite i look for stuff on, they’re a little harder to navigate but still have a boatload of stuff up. those are places i go when i have a specific thing in mind mainly; a specific image i’m searching for or someone’s thoughts on a particular song. but they’re good to just browse too i’ve spent many an hour that way

they only have one traditional biography, chalkhills and children, written by chris twomey. it’s kind of surface level but also a really fun read for weird little stories & quotes. this book is a really good example of how xtc were not the average rock band in terms of drinking sex drugs etc but what they had going on was Considerably More Insane for other reasons mainly they are collectively 5 of the little fucked up freaks of all time

complicated game is another song book which you may not get much out of if you’ve already read song stories, but i think it’s a little more complete. i’ve heard a couple fans say that out of all the xtc books, complicated game is the best & has great insight into the music, specifically for musicians but for anyone 😁

gonna also link some documentaries and specials i loveee all free on youtube:

this is pop— documentary that came out in 2017. the only documentary ever made about xtc. corny and very low budget but soo lovingly made and genuinely so good if you love them. fits the tone of the band well. i’ve seen it so many times

xtc at the manor— tv special filmed while xtc were at the manor studios for single work for black sea, following the recording and mixing of an alternate for the generals and majors single. they all talk about their instruments and how they chose music as a pursuit, also day to day footage in and around the studio. this one is my utter beloved

xtc play at home— (in three parts, 1 2 3) a special from 1984, xtc talk about their music as well as their hobbies. there are also some very low budget and hard to find music videos for some of the songs off mummer. dave talks about his guitars. andy talks about his board games. colin talks about Fishing. i love this one

recording nonsuch at chipping norton studios— this is a 50 minute home movie type special following the rehearsal and recording of nonsuch. i’ve seen this one through less times than the other two i linked because nonsuch is erm. my least favourite of their discs sorryyyy but it’s still a really good watch and i know a lot of folks love nonsuch

dm me if you want interview links too or anything, i tried to keep this list to longer video stuff but they have so many good interviews too

ultimately i don’t know if any of this stuff is niche. it’s all out there free online. the path you take with your poking around and research is yours :^) but i do think there’s great stuff in everything here and hopefully you’ll find something that suits your fancy

#xtc band #word okay. really nothing is niche everything is a matter of do you care enough to put time into reading/watching it tbh #i love that someone cares :’) the world is so beautiful

[burnyouwithacigarettelighter]

Omg I’m so happy you replied!! I definitely have more questions.

1. What Cillian character do you like writing about the most and why?

2. What story from your master list are you most proud of?

3. Do you personally have any fic recommendations/ must reads? Other sites included.

4. What gets you inspired to write? Following that question have you ever abandoned a fic?

5. What do you think made you a better writer? If you have any doubts about your work, how do you get past it enough to continue?

6. Is there a Cillian character that you just don’t like, or aren’t interested in watching/ writing about? (Sorry if that’s a loaded question)

omg thank u so much for this!!! i srsly love interacting w u guys, tysm for the thought provoking questions😄🙌

i think i like writing most about robert fischer:) ik it probably doesnt translate considering ive written most for jonathan crane but robert fischer is just such a little sweetheart to me,,, and can go both ways in being a sassy dom douchebag or being a sobbing daddy issues sub darling LOLLL i just think he has a lot of duality to delve into and develop (which ive definitely not done so far☠️) and it helps that his characterization in inception was also very surface level— i have a lot of wiggle room y’know??

i think im most proud of “dine & dash” which im aware probably no-one has read, but getting chris o’doyle’s sassy little dialogue down was like taming a wild beast,,, otherwise, considering my more well-known work, i rly liked writing “honey, i’m home”. i go crazy for the unhinged readers (if u couldnt alrdy tell lmaooo) and seeing jackson get messed with like that was a real treat.

i seriously just recommend anything by @mypoisonedvine,,, they’re literally genius & are the reason i started writing for cillian:)!! other mentions include kitten fics by @pictureinme and, a personal fave, @floralcyanidee’s jackson rippner mile-high club fic!!! these writers are all incredibly talented and im just blown away at their work every single time🫶

my thirst is such a big motivator for writing LMAO😭i wrote “guinea pig” ‘cus i wanted to absolute wreckkk jonathan crane and have him be a sub, and i got a 6.8k words long fic out of said thirst! music & book quotes motivate me a lot too— i spend sm time digging thru my pinterest for a good quote for the beginning of my fic its actually insane☠️and yes,,, im ashamed to say ive abandoned fics numerous times,,, but thats because they were series’, not oneshots. i get bored of series’ pretty quickly, ‘cause i feel kind of trapped by the initial dynamic or mood set in the first chapter. with oneshots, its like writing one long chapter of this trope and this kink or whatever and then its done, and i dont have to exhaust myself going back to tropes or kinks or storylines ive already done.

i think reading made me a better writer. expanding my vocabulary through the words of others was a biggie; seeing something be described in a certain way in someones story had me thinking of out-of-the-box ways to describe another thing (that doesn’t make much sense but lets pretend it does😭). i have many, many doubts about my work, like constantly, but i usually just suck it up. i sound like an attention whore but seeing the reposts & comments & tags on my other work reminds me people like what i’ve written before and certain people will enjoy what ive written now, so i should just finish my work for them. i also take like 100 years rereading my stuff until i think its good enough lmao,,,

ive kinda watched his whole roster of films (atleast ones i could actually find on the internet and not gone missing as a lost piece of media lmao) and i could probably write for any cillian character given i had a good idea and proper motivation. writing for certain characters is definitely harder for me to do though, so its likely i wont write for them/will take a long time to do so. an example is lenny miller— anna was such an insufferable movie to me, and lenny’s screentime wasn’t long at all, atleast not long enough for me to properly grasp his character. he just felt like a horny hardass fbi goof the whole time i could not take his 5’7 ass seriously😭cillian is smexy as hell in anna tho, so we’ll see😈another would probably be robert capa from sunshine,,, hes beautiful and deliciously musty in that but the whole spaceship setting kinda freaks me out (considering i know 0 zilch nada about space, spaceships, or anything of the sort, so it’d definitely be inaccurate). an au with him id definitely do, though! (with that hair of his my mind is already forming a 90s band au, guitarist!capa x singer!reader story…)

again thank u so much for these questions!! i feel like i rarely get to chat to u guys so this was well appreciated😄🫶thank you so much for reading, for sending these questions in, and for being an overall sweetheart, anon!

#burnyouwithacigarettelighter #long post

[heartbeatbookclub]

I absolutely adore all of your analysis so far, they are so indepth and it feels like you’re able to explain stuff that I’m only able to vaguely think in an abstract sense when it comes to ddlc and dhdhdj so so good

I do wanna say that for you mc analysis, there’s one thing missing. I’m someone who got into ddlc cause of plus so I have hyperfixated on all the lore. While the employees imply that Monika made MC, I don’t think that’s actually true based on what we know about Monika. If she could make a whole character then why couldn’t she make herself a route? Heck in one of her act 3 convos, she can barely change the music before saying “well I just break everything anyway”.

So I believe based on other emails, that it was Ive Laster who made MC since they were the one who wanted to make ddlc a game. In the first meeting notes, we are told that Ive tends to ramble a lot. But in the next one when MC is mentioned in a meeting, they are silent. Another thing is that in one of the ddlc plus trailers, ive is the name of the MC.

It could be said that Ive based it on the stuff in the control group, but the control group was made AFTER the main vm (That’s not how a science experiment should work but ya know, I don’t think they are smart). So really the control group is based on main game first. Honestly so much of the issue of the plus lore is how it’s so convoluted to get, but reading it all on the wiki helped me alot.

Plus seemed to add a new sense of horror to the og, the horror of knowledge that one plagued Monika is now plaguing the player as we have all this information but can do nothing to help them. I think the idea of MC being made by someone else adds this new layer to him along with this new layer of horror. But that’s more just my own thoughts on it that I thought you may find interesting along with all the lore from above.

Anyway, I hope you have a good day! Your post are great and I’ll make sure to keep up with coil more!

aw, thanks anon! i often find it difficult to find the exact way to explain what i'm thinking when i do analysis like i have on this blog, so i'm glad i can at least help to put it into words for other people who have even more trouble with it than i do.

as for the rest of your statement...i think you make a compelling point. full disclaimer; a lot of my knowledge on what's presented in + outside of the full text of the side stories is secondhand, and when talking about the original game, i think it's important to keep in mind that my reference for most of this is my playthrough with my friends back in like...2017-18ish a little after the game came out...? aheh, i won't lie, though i am rather obsessive in the course of scouring information i remember via the wiki/elsewhere to verify i'm not just making it up, putting off my replay of the og game has not been helpful for me.

i think it's very much up in the air as to how much influence that Monika actually has over the game, which is something i talked about in my analysis of Natsuki in the Side Stories. in my opinion, what + demonstrates more than anything is that in whatever she DID do in the main game, she mostly worked with material that was already there to make things easier on her. one of the things i based that claim on was the reference of the Protagonist in the Side Stories, but it's not a necessary claim, and in fact, i think you do make a good point in how it's unlikely that she'd be able to do this (at the very least, by herself) based on what's been shown of her ability in the game.

i think, in regards to your comment on the reference to MC in the Side Stories, it's important to consider the wider conceit of DDLC--i have a deeper analysis i'm tinkering around with on terms of it as an exploration of fiction vs the concept within the "universe", but that's another story--namely, all of the girls aren't (or at least, are heavily implied not to be) just static fictional characters following a pre-written script, they're genuine artificial intelligence!

this is part of what i meant when i said that the Side Stories demonstrate the raw character of each of the girls independently of any 4th wall shenanigans--within the world of Doki Doki Literature Club, they're essentially just people living in the confines of a computer, and therefore have essential, largely immutable character traits which exist within some fundamental essence of what makes them who they are. i think there are a shitload of really, really terrifying things this opens the door to if you really think about its nature (independently of DDLC, i've personally had longform discussions with a friend about the morality and potential horrors which would exist within a similar universe concept, and it's somewhat ubiquitous in a lot of sci-fi universes), but like i said, that's a different discussion entirely!

what i'm trying to suggest here is that it's likely that Sayori's relationship to the Protagonist is something inherent to her character, so it doesn't necessarily have to be something gleaned entirely from the Side Stories.

of course, this is all post hoc reasoning with what we're given! occam's razor suggests that it's actually just likely that (given that DDLC was written and released a long while prior to the Side Stories) they didn't necessarily plan every part of this from the outset, so some things just naturally seem to fit together a little weirdly, with little details added here and there just for flavor! i think that given the nature of the entire thing (and how Dan Salvato has talked about DDLC and the statements he's given with about in universe details in the past), it's unlikely that every single element of this was planned out from the word go.

this might be a bit of a controversial opinion, but there's a lot about how + handles the lore of ddlc that i didn't really like, just because it adds a whole new layer of lore and context, which soured a lot of my impressions, because the original game really flourished in its simplicity. that said, with all that's been given in the Side Stories and the deeper layers to the actual horror which are now visible in the original game, i think it pretty well makes up for it!

awa, i didn't plan for this to become an entire essay in itself...but i do appreciate this kind of thing! i really like digging deep into what's explicitly provided in canon to get a deeper understanding of the characters and universe as it's actually been shown, so any encouragement and correspondence related to either my analysis or my opinions in general are welcome! honestly, i'm also welcome to read others' analysis like this, because i like to see when people read deep into it like i do! typically it ends up reshaping how i see the entire thing, and it sorta just makes my heart happy to get people thinking about this stuff!

i think, as a last thought, if MC is actually conscious in any way similar to the other girls (which I think is a definite possibility, given his ability to respond in contexts impacted by Monika's manipulation, even if barebones), it actually makes him a very interesting character in his simplicity. i know that Dan Salvato doesn't see him as one, but i think it'd make for an interesting study in a fanfic or something.

i hope you also have a good day anon (even though it's 2 am here as i'm writing this...) and you BETTER KEEP UP W/IT I PUT MY HEART N SOUUL INTO THAT BABY (/lh /hj i'm just glad other people are liking it, even if it's just silent kudos :))

#coil is still on the backburner but i have been doing some work on actually finishing it after not touching it for like a week and a half #i'll elaborate more on why it's a bit of a struggle to write it when i actually upload the last part but needless to say i will finish it #anyway ily guys it's fun to talk to people who are as passionate about this stuff as me #i kinda feel like making a discord server for mutual discussion of this stuff would be fun #but i also know like 2 people would join it or too MANY people would join it #as a happy medium i think keeping my askbox (specifically anons lmao) & dms is a good option #asks #ddlc #doki doki literature club #musings

[goodfully]

oh god i cant believe ive finished reading the neapolitan novels already, its over??? ahh okay thoughts on the last book "the story of the lost child"..

honestly i was dreading the last maybe twenty pages bc i didnt want it to end hahaha. its crazy that everything we've read is essentially all for lila. "i who have written for months and months and months to give her a form whose boundaries wont dissolve." ahh!!!!! what!!!!!! to spend so much of the book saying how much lila suffered and feared from dissolving boundaries, how she had been so overwhelmed during the earthquake when the entire world felt like its boundaries were dissolving, and then say that everything shes written is to keep her from dissolving herself... my goodness. "i loved lila. i wanted her to last. but i wanted it to be i who made her last. i thought it was my task. i was convinced that she herself, as a girl, had assigned it to me." wow... you ever loved someone so much... also.. the way lenu was saying how connected they are, that even tho she has written a lot about her own life in these pages, "the very nature of our relationship dictates that i can reach her only by passing through myself"??? god.

i think my favorite parts of the book were all when lenu and lila were so close to each other during and after their pregnancies. i just thought it was so sweet, the way they were basically a family together, two mothers and their children. going to their doctors appointment tmr, taking walks together, taking care of each others daughters like their own.

i have to admit that i was confused by the meaning of the dolls at the very end, but i love that the openendness of the ending was referring back to something unanswered (where were the dolls) from one of the very first scenes from the first book (altho very interesting!, considering how not too long before the end of the book, lenu was telling imma not to believe in the cyclical nature of society). to me i thought, perhaps also it could mean that (assuming its lila) lila chooses existing (with lenu) over disappearing? actually, when tina disappeared and dede had accused lila of losing tina on purpose, i immediately thought it made sense. the first thing we literally know about lila is how she has felt the need to erase herself completely, and tina parallels/is an extension of lila the way imma parallels/is an extension of lenu. lila wanted to erase herself without a trace, and there was literally zero proof of tinas death/kidnapping/existence.

in the same way lila wouldnt be able to erase herself completely without also erasing tina, i think about the idea of how the ppl we love will never truly be erased if we love them? thats why even if tina disappeared, lila cant be erased bc lenu loves her. like how, whether its on purpose or not to keep her mother alive, lenu finds her mothers existence with her in her limp. i think the same could be said about the solaras, who altho arent exactly loved by the neighborhood, are important enough to most ppl in the neighborhood and their power is still felt in the neighborhood after their death. also, i think its a little different, but im reminded of when lenu said something like the many fragments of ourselves are scattered like splinters or something (altho i think the context here was about their children). but no one is ever never really gone, i think.. oh.. i go crazy every time she talks about her relationship/similarities with her mother (the ancestors in her body when she was physically violent back against her mother, and the.. "must i watch you become worse than me?"), and her relationship/similarities with her daughters (her daughters reaching the same age as the ghosts of her girlhood), and every time the imma/tina relationship parallels the lenu/lila relationship.

i was thinking that this book was more of accepting yourself and your origins, whereas the other books showed lenu and lila trying to escape them? perhaps acceptance of the past and the agency you have despite the past that defined you? like when lenu realizes that ninos actions are not attributed to his father, nino is his own person and he himself is the reason he is a piece of shit man, not just bc of the man who raised him. and that part when lenu said that antonios tone resembles the neighborhood, but it is entirely his own. more so when lenu had published her third book and said that only words and stories from the neighborhood were the only ones with meaning, and that she no longer felt she was a victim of her origins but was capable of dominating them and using them to climb higher. stuff about the past and present colliding. it reminds me of when mariarosa said something like, a woman without love for her origins is lost, or something.. i kinda forgot what the context was tho.

oh another thing, the closeness between the childhood neighborhood friends meant so much to me.. like there was a moment when carmen said that lenu and lila are her sisters during that little gathering with the neighborhood group of kids now all grown up just talking to each other... i think theyre like family, they grew up together. when lenu goes in the neighborhood after moving back to naples and is talking to carmen, lila, and enzo again... they care so much about each other. and talking about how much they love pasquale too no matter what hes doing. sobs.

this just reminded me of nino.. (he was there the first time, but whatever! he kinda wasnt.) when lenu makes nino come over, i was so pissed... and i had a feeling something bad would happen while he was there, but tinas disappearance was not what i was expecting.. oh but enzo.. my beloved, he was so caring and attentive, not only to tina but also imma. ahh.. while im on the topic of men, the part when gennaro and stefano find rino, and gennaro had to listen to stefano yell insults at rinos dead body and then beats up stefano while crying that he is disgusted with himself for being his son. it just made me really sad.. these are the two adult men he has and is related to..

tbh francos death sticks out to me mainly bc he said something that i honestly believe and live by, i repeat it to myself to not relapse into whatever mental illness, "it [is] a good rule not to expect the ideal but to enjoy what is possible", but then he kills himself immediately after and it... makes me so fucking sad.

lenu said this only in the beginning about feeling the hostility from her mother/lila and felt estranged from them, but i often think about freedom vs loneliness. i suppose its also something throughout the whole series, with how much she wanted freedom and to escape from her origins, she /was/ lonely. and the time spent trying to be on her own without lila was also lonely. the end of the entire series when she felt her friendship with lila must have ended... that was lonely. i think in this fourth book, lenu expressed a lot more of her love for lila.

anyway... overall i loved the entire series so much... i am so glad i read it finally, its some of the best books ive ever read. im on a trip with family rn and every time someone asks me what im reading, i really dont know how to summarize all four novels all together in a way that explains how good and thoughtful it all is. also i know its adapted into a show, which i really want to watch eventually! i still cant believe im done reading tho.. like what do i do now! ahhhhhh

#finished reading #the story of the lost child #neapolitan novels

[rustedhearts]

hi rolly, hope all is well. i recently read "but i love him", and i think ive said this before, i cant remember, but your ability to capture very specific experiences/emotions really makes all of your fics stand out! like apart from the very well done characterisation (with each character/variation of steve and reader having a unique character voice), and atmospheric narrative that makes it easy to immerse in the scene, each story feels very coherent and complete thematically, even if its part of a larger series. i know its literally around only 1.5k words and written with a sort of particular goal in mind and so not like a totally accurate representation, but it was kind of fascinating from an outsider's perspective of like, what general setting a small (from the general sounds of it white coded) midwestern town would look like, especially as someone who grew up in a very urban environment with lots of other fellow immigrants and first generation people, and mostly read books that tend to reflect those specific experiences.

Its literally written as a warning but i was sort of shocked at how much of a bad taste in my mouth this guy put in my mouth?? like yeah he sucks, but i don't think his specific treatment of the reader is like, that egregiously worse than like some of boxer!steve's behaviour, or like the straight up abuse of power that is present in priest!steve. I thought about it, and, i think some if it is because of the fact that the boxer and priest are introduced with a charming and charismatic first impression.

but also i think its because of the aesthetic tones you've used really well! Your priest!steve series have always felt, at least to me, like some sort of southern gothic horror/romance, like crimson peak, where the high aesthetic of the language describing moral decay turns it into a story of appreciating that aesthetic beauty rather than examining that moral decay, which then gives readers pause to examine their own complicity in moral decay at a larger structural level. i really hope that made any sense but basically the way its written so beautifully, all the warm, gauzy summer scenes, and attractiveness of the various characters, movie-like dialogues, and sex charged scenes, distract me from the horror of the situation, that only really sets in after like a minute, and then i am doubly horrified which also weirdly is very aesthetically pleasing. i am trapped in a cycle it seems. boxer!steve similarly, especially at later points, is surrounded by like luxuries and wealth and a buzzing of californian excitement that make his actions seem smaller than they really are, especially when he apologises in the earlier chapters and i know there's a charged scene coming and allow myself to, again, get swept away in the beauty of the language that you wield really beautifully and effectively, despite being the polar opposite of a hot Christian Georgia town.

I think with this fic, the aesthetic pleasure was not as present immediately in the setting. Cold and lonesome with a guy introduced as angry doesn't give the same fantasy as sun soaked southern summer or wild shimmering california girlfriend, but it had a really unique hook all the same. the cold you wrote was so good, i swear it made me dread the canadian winter already and while it was strange sort of seeing the already dampened enthusiasm these two had when i'm used to seeing the honeymoon phase first, it also made me curious to see why these two did stay with each other, like on a character analysis level. as uncomfortable as i was in the cold, i was also uncomfortable because of the frosty relationship in the room and was caught between wanting to see them fight or make up, anything to see more of their extreme reactions to cut the cold you put in the room, to heat myself up. And omg! You did! in a way that felt true to what we knew about these people and let us know more about them (reader's desire to be possessed by a singular person who loves her to the point of wanting to cage her in and possess her and her doing a lot of the emotional labour and reparation after a fight), and that fit the tone of the rest of the story so well. there was always a feeling of something larger than both of them during that whole scene, like she was fixing a symptom and not the root cause (his anger and emotional issues, her not being able to get out of this), which is true, but you wrote it like a haunting ghost, always lingering even when you want it gone. specifically, what spoke out to me was when she looks at the cross on the wall, and then the one he has tattooed on his knuckle, and it felt almost odd, like he was taking this very real part of someone's faith and turning it into his own variation of an intimidation tactic, and seeing it in the bedroom felt just off kilter to me. And the car ride....omg....even when they're making up he will do something horrible! and she just sits there! hearing the yells but only in short bursts of scuffles, and then having him come back bruised and grinning while she sort of sits in horror and unsure felt like you captured a microcosm of their whole dynamic. idk if i'm making it much worse/darker than you intended and if so i apologise! i am genuinely excited to see how they will play out, specifically reader's desire to be consumed almost it seems for the price of love!

this is so insanely long and i tried editing it to make it shorter but i really apologise for the length. you're such a talent and reading your work always makes me excited to analyse and try to pick up on your thematic and aesthetic choices that you always execute with such grace and we are all so lucky that you've decided to share this beautiful literature with us for free.

you never fail to blow me away with these asks, and every time you send one i genuinely try and sit and soak it all in and appreciate it, because wow!!! i’m so spoiled!! 💓💓💓

i also think you live in my head, because you completely understand everything and its purpose lol. i’m convinced you’re just a little chunk of my brain living somewhere else

this steve is definitely different because he’s bad for bad’s sake. like you said, there’s no passion behind why he commits these crimes. his reason is literally just “because he wanted to.” it’s just a cycle he was always bound to end up in. with boxer!steve, his overprotective jess and jealousy stems from his passion for libby. with pastor!steve, his icky, slimy grossness stems from desire for delilah.

this steve is just…evil, honestly.

#rolly! #asks

[chloeangelic]

OMG! The new chapter of ''Love Me Back'' is so much. How can something that starts like this chapter end up so badly? As with any good story, I knew the angst was around the corner, but what an ending.😳

I loved how you put her mental issues out in the open, with her thoughts and the therapy session in the first part of the chapter. It makes her more realistic, complex, and easier to comprehend. I totally get her. I share some of her thoughts, but at the same time, this chapter made me a bit angry. I hope the next part makes sense at the end. The mix of feelings this chapter made me feel is murky. Which shows me how well-written I found it and how much I liked it.

Self-worth can be a tricky thing, especially when starting a new relationship adds the fear of showing your true self and being rejected, a thing she's already gone through by the glimpses of her past relationships. Being told you're not girlfriend/wife material can create deep wounds, increasing her mental health struggles.

Their relationship is new, and they still have a lot to settle. I know WORDS are IMPORTANT, and they are needed, but seeing Joel show her with his actions what he wants (after all, he wouldn't let anyone get close to his daughter and develop a connection) while the reader is not able to acknowledge it, is frustrating. Not talking beforehand makes the whole situation way worse. The offer of take of Sarah, I feel like she might not be using her words yet, but she's putting herself out. She's trying to give Joel what he needs and be someone he can rely on, to be a team. The pain of Joel's rejection, coupled with his initial lack of attention, causes everything to explode. When, for once, she has the strength to defend herself and express her feelings, it's one of the worst moments.

I would love to read Joel's thoughts on the whole scene. He has so many fronts at the same time. I'm not excusing him because he could have handled the whole situation better (both of them could have). He also has his struggles and anxieties clouding his perception of the reader's emotions, making it harder for him to open himself and accept help. I hope the situation gets solved soon.

I trust you can pull out something from my ramble and that it wasn't too much, lol.😅 Thanks for the chapter! Despite preferring fluff, I'm a sucker for angst like the one you wrote.♥️

Ahhh im so glad you enjoyed it and got something out of it!!! i definitely think that new relationships are a massive catalyst for self worth issues because its such a vulnerable state to be in and youre so afraid of the other person finding something out about you thats suddenly a dealbreaker and just peacing out.

LMB girl has held soooo much back from joel, thinking shes shielding him from it, and it blows up in her face so bad cause she has this vault of crap thats bound to explode open with one little bad vibe from joel, even though theyre both misplacing their frustration. ive tried to make this fic as realistic as possible, and i think a lot of us have had periods of bottling things up and not being able to expect when the last drop hits

the whole series having such a mental health focus wasnt my intention when i started writing it - my initial idea was for it to be more FWB centered actually, but ive ended up including so much of my own experiences with self worth issues and subsequent healing, and that has made the whole thing more interesting i think

joels thoughts come out in ch 7!!!

so glad youre willing to suffer through my angst, and theres a lot of fluff coming up which is very uncharacteristic for me but we all need to see joel and his crab girl happy - they deserve it hahaha

thanks for sticking around, i love reading your detailed thoughts on the chapters <3 <3 <3

#chloe answers #love me back fic

[renegades-garbage]

Twenty Bucks

Is this another fic about how Adrian’s dads found out Nova was asleep in the basement? Yes, yes it is.

I think we all felt robbed robbed of this scene, and there are already some fics where adrian tells his dad she’s there(which are great btw) so I decided to write one about what would have happened if his dads had found them sleeping in the Jungle.

Pls enjoy this fic that was originally supposed to be mostly about Nodrian but turned into a whole lot of Humon fluff. I think this is my fav fic ive written so pls like it lol.

Hugh let out a sigh the second the door to the mayor's mansion shut behind him. Finally able to transition from famous superhero/esteemed government leader to just a regular man, husband, and father. He looked over to Simon and saw the same sense of relief coupled with exhaustion that he knew covered his own face. 

“I am so happy to be home,” he told his husband, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and giving him a quick kiss on the forehead as they walked into their home. 

“Me too” 

Simon returned the embrace by wrapping his arm around Hugh’s waist. They had had a very long day at headquarters. The Sentinel for whom Hugh and the rest of the council had no warm feelings had captured Hawthorn, tortured, and killed her. A probable revenge killing by a prodigy who was most certainly letting his feelings get the best of him. Not to mention it didn’t exactly look good that he did this to a prodigy who the Renegades had tried and failed to catch.

“Stop thinking about work hun.” Simon’s words tore Hugh out of his thoughts and he glanced over to his smirking husband who was currently taking off his cape and hanging it in the closet that they kept meaning to convert into the pantry. They were both still in their superhero garb from work.

“How do you always know what I'm thinking?” Hugh asked somewhat rhetorically. Simon could always guess what was on his mind, and only shrugged and smiled at the question. 

Hugh walked over to the staircase that led to Adrian's bedroom in the basement. “Adrian we’re home” he yelled. He frowned when he got no response. He usually got at least an “okay” or a “hello” when he told Adrian they were home.

“You think he’s asleep?” he asked as his husband approached. Simon wrapped his arms around Hugh from behind him, pulling him into a hug. He looked ready to fall asleep himself as he rested his forehead against Hugh’s back.

“I doubt it. He’s been sleeping less and less.” his tone was laced with worry but when he spoke again Hugh could practically hear the smirk in his voice. “Maybe Insomnia’s rubbing off on him.”

Hugh pulled away from the embrace a little reluctantly and turned smiling while shaking his head at his husband. Simon had been suggesting that Nova and their son’s relationship would develop further than friendship since the trials. “Si he told us they were just friends.”

“And you believed him?” he replied incredulously. 

“Yes, because I trust our son,” Hugh said, his voice playful.

Simon shook his head. “Nooo way have you seen them together?”

“Okay. Maybe he likes her,” Hugh said unable to deny that. “but Nova’s not exactly what I would call an open book so we can’t be sure of anything.”

“Twenty bucks says they're dating,” Simon says smirking and seeming pretty confident about this bet. 

“Fine. I still think Adrian would tell us if something was going on.”

“Hun, he may be Adrian but he's still a teenage boy.”

Hugh shook his head smiling and remembering how they had hidden their relationship and snuck around when they were teenagers. “I'm going to go check on him. Maybe he's working on that mural he mentioned wanting to paint.” 

“Okay,” Simon said giving Hugh a quick kiss before heading back into the kitchen, probably to get a snack as neither of them had eaten dinner yet.

Hugh made his way down the stairs into the basement that was Adrian’s space. Hugh and Simon didn't go down there much as they wanted Adrian to have privacy, not to mention they never really had a reason to. 

Hugh saw a few things Adrian had added or changed since the last time he had been down there. Hugh was pretty proud of what a nice room Adrian had made this basement into.

He didn't see Adrian in his bed, or anywhere else in the room so he walked over to the door of what Adrian had referred to as his art studio and knocked. No answer. Maybe he had spent the night at Oscar’s? They didn't really mind if their son went out without telling them, he was 17 which was old enough to know how to stay out of trouble and they trusted him, but usually, he would message them if he was spending the night somewhere. A confused frown covered Hugh’s face and he began walking away from the door deciding that he would go upstairs and message Adrian asking where he was.

When he was about halfway across the room, he stopped. Adrian had been pretty distant lately and didn't tell them much when he had asked to paint the mural, leaving his dads pretty curious. 

Though Hugh felt a little guilty he was too curious not to at least take a peak at Adrian's progress. Hugh was always supportive and usually impressed by Adrian’s artistic endeavors, and he couldn’t pass up this opportunity.

Hugh walked back over to the door and slowly pulled it open. His mouth opened slightly in amazement. Adrian had painted a jungle in what looked to be the ruins of a fallen city, and he had brought it to life, creating something absolutely beautiful, and amazing. If Hugh had been proud of Adrian’s nice room he didn't even know how to feel about this. 

Hugh looked around some more, still not daring to move from the safety of the doorway. There was a statue that he could only see the back of from this angle. There seemed to be a soft glow coming from the other side, and he wanted to see what it was, but he couldn’t risk messing up something that would give away his visit. 

As Hugh's gaze fell to the ground a surprised expression overtook his features. 

Nova Mclain sleeping soundly in the arms of his also sleeping son was just about the last thing he expected to see. A soft smile warmed his features at the sight. I guess she does have the ability to sleep he thought, remembering her saying she wasn’t sure she could if she wanted to at the trials. 

He saw that she was wearing a pair of what looked like noise-canceling headphones. Possibly what helped her sleep? Though with the way Nova and Adrian's arms were wrapped around each other and the content expression that he never thought he would see on her face, Hugh suspected the headphones didn’t have much to do with it at all.

He was planning to keep this peak into Adrian’s life a secret, but Hugh couldn’t not show this to his husband. Right?

Hugh walked back up the stairs and into the kitchen, his eyes falling on Simon who was just finishing a bowl of cereal. “Was he down there?”

“Yeah. And I think I owe you twenty bucks.”

A confused frown covered Simon's face “What.”

“Come on,” Hugh said holding out his hand. Simon took it still looking confused and let Hugh lead him into the basement and towards an open door.

When they got to the studio turned jungled Hugh watched the same awe and amazement he had felt dawn on Simon. After a few seconds, Hugh pointed to the sleeping teens and Simon’s expression turned from amazed to know. He smiled and shook his head looking back at his husband.

“Told you so,” Simon whispered. Hugh only smiled. They quietly shut the door and tiptoed out of the basement.

Later that night they were laying in bed after having showered and eaten.

“Hey,” Simon said. “I never got my twenty bucks.”

Hugh pretended to pat his pockets though he wasn’t actually wearing anything that had pockets. “Oh no,” he said with mock sheepishness. “I don’t have any cash on me. I guess I'll have to offer another form of payment.” He said suggestively.

Simon smiled. “I guess that would be okay,” he said teasingly right before his husband pulled him in for a kiss. 

#renegades trilogy #renegades trilogy fic #Nodrian #humon #adrian everhart #nova artino #hugh everhart #simon westwood #Renegades #archenemies

[shjiyemis]

Do you have any thoughts on clown church/purpleblood religion it's my favorite aspect of homestuck and I always like seeing how other people interpret it. I mostly have been thinking about how it changes on earth C from alternia, but alternian clown church is also cool

I HAVE SO MANY FUCKING THOUGHTS DUDE

Like I literally hate how its interpretted bc its literally taking a bunch voudo inspo and using ICP lingo and more inspo from another musical artist/band that my friend pointed out a while ago to me and I cant remember but MY GOD

A lot of the stuff they were using in the clown church religion really felt like they looked up small bits of vodou and used some stuff they already know and are probs more stereotypes then fact and demonized tf out of it RTYVGBUHJNKM GOD IM IN HATE

My thought process of clown religion is that we dont get much, and i do not believe its a not to be spoken of cult, That doenst really makes sense to me i guess bc these bitches are literally wearing their face paint out in the open, theres no fucking way tbh LOL. At most to me its literally a closed off religion in homestuck. Plus its literally normal to murder on Alternia too so like PLEASE??????

Ok NOW I am going to actually talk about how I see it and stop complaining about how its seen DERFTYGUHI

I see the the clown church as definitely something we dont get much talk about in the OG homestuck so ive basically written into it a LOT and I honestly dont really look at hiveswap or friendsim for refs bc these ppl are fucking making me crazy bc they kinda are TRYING to demonize Gamzee so they demonize the purples and the clown religion in general

Since we're reading the comic and if you think about it, we are reading this religion from an empire that is being manipulated by its dictator (The Condensce) and that dictator is also being manipulated somewhat by someone behind the scenes (Lord English). We already know that the religions messiahs are supposedly Lord English and Doc Scratch

But I dont even think thats the case!! Because The more I think about it, dont even think it makes much sense for them to be literal messiahs/gods bc it really feels like a goddamn joke bc neither of them can exist at all without the game!!

SO I specifically believe that Doc Scratch and/or Lord English had requested some kind of hierarchy and she manipulated the religion overtime and now Doc Scratch and/or Lord English are literally WORSHIPPED and then the whole warped version of the religion was impliemented so hard for so long that the religion cant be seen as anything else on Alternia other then a sacrifical cult that aims to deduce the lowblood population!!

--------------------------------

Here are some things I have written for it before it became deduced that in the OG:

-The actual name of the clown church religion is called "The Dark Spiral"

-There are more messiahs and also gods that can be worshipped within the The Dark Spiral but the main ones are Mirth and Rage (Who are NOT Doc Scratch and/or Lord English)

-The Dark Spiral is a closed off religion (with exceptions after a long process)

-The Dark Spiral has many public units where they can give thanks/pray (That are basically temple type settings) but those are not the actual places of worship. The locations of the places of worship are unknown to anyone who arent followers of The Dark Spiral. There are specific passages/trails one must take and going any other way may kill them.

-Places of worship are large open spaces that are well hidden and are secluded. They can be either underground, in a LARGE SECLUDED areas away from civilization, or within caves or mountains

-Ritual sacrifices for either Mirth or Rage are usually large animals that are usually cared for and loved. Troll sacrifices for Mirth are minimal and only true followers that volunteer can be sacrifices. A person who is unwilling to be a sacrifice does not bring good luck from Mirth. A sacrifice specific for Rage is also minimal and usually a troll who commits a crime towards the The Dark Spiral or someone within The Dark Spiral who is believed to be truly despicable.

-Special Stardust is made of Lusus bones, A special mineral only known to Alternia (it shines like a rainbow and when grinded up for the stardust its definitely gives a glittery look), and ashes of loved ones (which can be anything not just trolls).

-Special Stardust is mixed into their face paint sometimes on special occasions like a festival or celebration of some kind having to do with the faith.

-Followers of The Dark Spiral pray with the tips of their fingers on their chin or cheeks with their face looking up with their eyes closed specifically when they are tanking the Messiahs or Gods that they may specifically worship within the faith. They pray like most when it's a general prayer of good luck. They also do very quick prayers of luck by honking their nose twice (similar to how some may form a cross on their chest)

-There are most definitely different branches of belief in The Dark Spiral but the main and most popular depiction of The Dark Spiral is the one I am talking about now.

And of course all of this might've been erased and warped thanks to The Condensce and other trolls who may have been dedicated to her or misguided followers. (Not saying canonically but saying that's literally what mightve happen with my specific interpretation of the clown church AKA The Dark Spiral)

#shye speaks #cyclicalaberration #homestuck #homestuck headcanons #the clown church #shyes rewritten alternia

[kitty-thinks-stuff]

MURDER DRONES RAMBLE ‼️spoilers for eps 1-5‼️

i have GOT to talk about this show bc i have soo many thoughts. a lot of this is gonna be rambling about my pet peeves and plot holes and what i wished happen though (keep in mind this is with the knowledge up to episode 5, i havent watched farther than that)

feel free to discuss these points with me!! id love to hear other perspectives on it!! (please dont give me spoilers past episode 5 though!!!)

ALSO! i am in no way saying this is a bad show. its amazing and i cant wait to see more, plus obviously its an indie show and its got a small budget and all that stuff

so far my biggest pet peeves are the fact that the show doesnt seem to take itself seriously enough, and the way uzi is written

the whole "not taking itself seriously" thing REALLY shows in episode 4. the whole time all this super crazy stuff is happening and the jokes just ruin it. take the moment where Rebecca is crawling back to the campfire, LITERALLY CUT IN HALF

this is a BIG moment, scary, suspenseful, all that jazz. and imagine how terrifying and traumatizing it would be to see your friend crawl back to you, NOT IN ONE PIECE

but the moment gets really ruined by the "forgot name. not popular" joke. it makes what couldve been a creepy horror moment into a lame, kind of awkward joke.

then you have the scene where uzi is chasing all the campers. HUGE, RIGHT? i mean shes become this mutated, bird like eldritch horror creature, and shes "lost control of herself", murdering the people she knows (obviously shes not super close with these people but. murder is big no matter what)

this should be TERRIFYING!! its huge dude, uzi is running rampant, murdering and eating robots, scaling the trees!!!

and it just gets. kind of smushed by the jokes.

i will admit, they did a *little* better with this scene. so props to that! but still. ouch.

now onto uzis character

she could be SO complex. i mean imagine living your life hating the murder drones, only to end up becoming friends with one, and then realizing ur actually really similar to them (needing to eat people blah blah), to finding out you have powers, you have to eat robots, all that stuff

and so much of her big character moments are small and shrugged off really quick.

take her powers for example. she learned to use them like. right after she found out she had them

i could get it maybe if they just alluded to maybe her learning? or at least made it to where it was a situation where she HAD to use her powers (a fight scene, maybe a scene where n was gonna get hurt?)

but it was all stuff she could do herself, like picking up papers and opening doors

so i think its safe to say we couldve kept a whole "idk how to use these brand new powers" thing going for an episode or two.

"but they needed her to use her powers so it triggered the over heating" i hear u and that makes sense. however, they couldve kept this!!

so she breaks the mirror, fixes the bug. fixing the bug couldve been an "experimental" moment with her powers (thanks reeses for that idea) instead of smth she just. knew how to do. all of this couldve triggered the over heat. dont forget, shes new to these powers! she might not have built up the "stamina" for it yet, so using it these couple of times might be too much for her

she has the moment with v, blah blah, leave the powers out until the arrow scene. then her powers trigger again! she was about to get hurt, it would make sense. then boom, overheat again (remember, considering shes brand new to these powers, this is a lot!)

she runs away, maybe opens the door with her powers (though its kinda unnecessary, i could kinda see it considering shes got all the adrenaline going)

then we have the murder scene, which ive already talked about

then afterwards, its all resolved REALLY quickly.

murdering people you know, even if you didnt like them/know them, is never easy on anybody. literally the whole reason she hated the murder drones was because they killed her people. and the whole reason she excepted them now, was because they decided to STOP killing people.

but its just kind of a whole "oh well!" situation and it! bothered me!!!

i mean, they couldve gone SOOO many routes with the murder scene.

maybe a scene where n comforts her and helps her through the trauma of killing someone? maybe where the people around her struggle to except her again bc shes changed?

my personal favorite is where n attempts to comfort her because shes killed someone, and she makes a comment along the lines of "im not like you!" (but yk. more hurtful and angsty and close to home for n)

this could further her isolation, which could build on how she might see this new version of herself

it could also open the doors for an uzi/doll interaction where doll tries to reach out and help uzi, making uzi conflicted on what side she should actually be on.

but, i digress

now lets get onto the smaller stuff that doesnt really matter (its really just personal peeves)

i wish we got more on the murder drones being excepted into the worker drone society. this kinda falls under "the show doesnt take itself seriously"

i mean, these drones killed their family and friends but, "oh yeah, they said they wont and now we love them!"

this couldve been really good development for v and n but they just move on so quickly. also they brushed past all those missing campers super quick

i wish we got to see more of lizzy and dolls relationship. why were they close? did lizzy feel conflicted about working with uzi and the others instead of doll? (idk maybe im biased cuz i think doll and lizzy should kiss but thats besides the point)

i think that might be everything!!! ill probably make a more positive post too bc I DID LIKE THIS SHOW!!! its soo silly and im really liking it

#this was very long SORRY LMAO #i lovveee analyzing things #kitty thinks #murder drones #md uzi #n murder drones #murder drones uzi

[imminent-danger-came]

hi! im the anon that left a really long ask about misogyny in the lmk fandom lol (İ dont have a response completely written yet, while İ do have more to talk about on the subject İ feel like a lot of it might come off as repetitive, also my ask draft is like twice as long as the first ask LOL) but ive seen you talk about about thinking about watching revolutionary girl utena on here and if you havent watched it yet id really reccomend watching it! it has a lot of the same themes as lmk (and utdr which is also something ive seen you talk about! (btw id like to hear your thoughts on utdr if you want to talk about it on here!)) so i think youd like it if you watched it! İm going to try to be vauge abt themes and topics discussed in rgu for the sake of spoilers (also i dont want to present the idea that theres a "correct interpretation" of utena because i feel like thats reductive to the narrative the show presents), but i do want to say that if you do decide to watch it you should really take a look at its trigger warnings. utena as a show does go into some very dark topics and themes and has a laundry list of content warnings that İ dont think is worth skipping . İ think it handles them well for a 90's tv show but İ think it should be mentioned regardless. i also think that something that you should know before going into it is just how much it relies on a symbolic narrative in the sense that if you arent interested in analyzing it then you probably wont get as much from the show just because of how surreal it is, İ dont think this makes rgu a worse story at all (in fact İ think it makes it better because i lets it take into account different audience interpretations and opens the room up for a lot of different analysis) BUT its something id keep in mind before watching the show lol (also i think that if you watch rgu and you like it, another thing you'd probably like is omniscent readers viewpoint! im not great at summarizing things so im not going to go too in depth on it, theres a good summary on tumblr by the user ot3 that İ think is good. my personal take on it from where İ am in the novel is that its basically like if you put lmk and utdr into a blender and then made that into a novel... (theres also a webtoon adaptation but imo its kind of bad bad)) anyway İ hope you havent watched rgu already or else this ask will be really embarassing lol.

tldr: lesbian swordfight anime is Cool and you should watch it it totally wont change you as a person ahah a

No I totally haven't watched rgu yet! I just reblog some of the stuff I see for future me who has

I totally want to though (the content warnings aren't anything that squick me), it seems interesting and you know I love me some symbolism and a meta-narrative that wants you to engage with it on a higher level. And also lesbians

#omniscient readers viewpoint sounds interesting! #I'll save my utdr thoughts for another post because that is a like 8 year long love of mine #undertale changed me as a person. obviously #And deltarune is fucking WILD holy shit (spamton begs to the audience. spamton prays to the audience. there is no audience. #LIKE S?DFKJSD???A?S?AA???) #But I can't think too much about those guys rn because lmk s5 is on the horizon and the tdp 6x01 synopsis was fucking. life changing. #And also dungeon meshi is tomorrow #so (<- barely holding it together) #do you want a name anon #like #''correct opinions anon'' or something #you should join me in shipping ivorylotus (yellowtusk X ne zha). It's about their respective devotion/duty to the world #You gotta believe me #Plus I think they're stupid in the same ways #So tunnel visioned. Both unwilling to give up on their jade emperors till the end #Comparatively normal to the people around them I feel like #asks #anon #revolutionary girl utena

[winterrhayle]

COWBOY CARTERRRRR ★𐚁𓃗

this album is literally . everything omg like i've literally been going crazy over this album and it's not even been a week yet and i apologise for the babbling but i need to get some things off my chest or i will actually lose it so !!!! gonna yap about every single track now !!!!!! (some coherent thoughts, and some not so coherent thoughts) : 

★★★★★

AMERIICAN REQUIREM - (im obsessed with all of the stylisation ii in the album titles bc its act ii) this song is basically a thesis statement for the whooooole album the main lyrical part is : 'used to say i spoke "too country" / and the rejection came, said / "i wasn't country enough" / said i wouldn't saddle up, but / if that ain't country, tell me what is? ' and obviously it goes without saying that the vocals on this track are PERFECT and angelic because, this is beyoncé she could never underdeliver. ive heard so many people say that the layering reminds them of bohemian rhapsody and I AGREEEE

after ameriican requirem, this section of the next fourish tracks reminded me of self titled (2014) in the sense that it explores the different aspects of beyoncé as a person (being a black woman, career, motherhood, self love etc) LOOKA DER LOOKA DER LALALALALALALALALALALAAAAAAAAA. THIS INTRO IS EVERYTHING TO ME ITS SO CINEMATIC AND BIG AND ★BEYONCÉ★

BLACKBIIRD - second song on here is a cover of blackbird by the beatles, featuring tanner adell, brittney spencer, tiera kennedy, and reyna roberts (all up and coming black country artists!!!!). i didn't know this until like, the day the album dropped and i was looking into it but blackbird was written by paul mccartney about black women in the 60s experiencing struggles with the american civil rights movement. and in england 'bird' is kinda slang for girl, so 'black bird' = 'black girl'. and that song was intended to bring hope, such a perfect track for this album , specially with the features beyoncé included 🤞🏽

16 CARRIAGES - my favourite out of the 2 pre release singles. its about her entering the music industry at 15 and the struggles due to that and growing up so fast, whenever this comes on i will NEVER EVER SKIP ITS TOOOOO GOOOD

PROTECTOR  - i love how this is featuring rumi🥹 whenever beyonce talks about motherhood, or writes a song for her kids (like here, blue, bigger, brown skin girl etc) it always gets me tearing up on first listen. first of all i LOVEEEE a voice memo intro, and this whole lullaby is just <333333

MY ROSE - ive seen a lot of people saying that they dont like how this album is so long, but me personally, i love that there are so many tracks, even short ones like this that add depth or a vibe. also i love any song that says lalalalalalalalaaaa so that got me

SMOKE HOUR ★ WILLIE NELSON - IM OBSESSED W THIS INTERLUUUDEEEEEE the feel of changing the channel on a radio is so cool and adds a really fun atmosphere and really works well for themes here

TEXAS HOLD ‘EM - everyone hates this song BUT I DONTTTTT its a real life boogie and a real life hoe down frfr

BODYGUARD - this ones so fun and lighthearted, aside from the parts where shes like ‘i dont like the way shes looking at you 😒😒😒 someone better hold me back’ and that line leads so well into the next tracks:

DOLLY P / JOLENE - HAAHAHAHAHAHA THE DOLLY P INTERLUDE TOOK ME OUTTT WITH THE BECKY WITH THE GOOD HAIR REFERENCE😭 and the lyric changes on jolene with her warning becky instead of begging,, iktr !!!!!!! and ‘you a bird go on and sing your song jolene’ 😩 i really like that beyonce brought in dolly because shes like. THE country star. and its kinda wild that people are still dissing beyoncé for releasing country music and saying she doesn’t belong when the literal dolly parton is advocating for her

DAUGHTER - one of my faves on here, it feels so cinematic and i will always appreciate an i killed my husband country song. the whole vibe of this song is really sinister im obsessed and the visuals are already there in my mind like,, ‘your body laid out on these filthy floors / your bloodstains on my custom coutures’, ‘so let's travel to white chapels and sing hymns /

hold rosaries, and sing in stained glass symphonies’ , ‘i sashayed my dress / did my best impression of a damsel in distress’ , etc etc etc. i would literally quote this entire song if i could i think its lyrically the best one. my favourite part is the refrain about her father and choir boys and the titanic its so real. AND VOCALLLSSS HELLOOOO????? SHE JUST . CASUALLY SINGS CARO MIO BEN??????? oh beyoncé the woman you are whoooo is doing it like you

SPAGHETTI - as soon as i saw this title i knew this song was gonna be fun like first of all, the intro talking about genres being restricting, and then the song going straight into that instrumental???????? AND SHES RAPPING ?????????????? THANOS ????????? CUNTY COUNTRY PETTY !!!!!!!!!! YALL BEEN PLAYED BY THE PLAGARISTIC WHEWWWW NO SAUCE NO SAUCE

ALLIGATOR TEARS - the jump from spaghetti to this was so violent 😩 i had to calm myself down so fast on first listen LMAOOOO. ok so from what i can tell i think this song is saying that she’ll do anything for x (idk who this is to, maybe jay z?) and x doesn’t need any fake tears to get her to do things for them bc she’ll do anything for them regardless. ‘you say change religion 🕺🏽

now i spend sundays with you’

SMOKE HOUR II / JUST FOR FUN- oh my god i so badly want KNTRY radio to be real😭 just for fun feels so nostalgic to me for some reason, and so does ii most wanted tbh but i’ll get to that. i think that willie jones’ voice works SO well with beyoncés, they both sing so softly on here and its like the type of ballad you’d sing around a campfire all happy and sleepy

II MOST WANTED - as someone who never watched hannah montana as a kid, i still really appreciate this song, i know a few songs from that song even though i never watched it so miley’s voice reminds me of my childhood soo much and this song omg🥹🥹🥹🥹 the harmonies and the lyrics and the friendship <333333 the electric guitar specifically stands out to me it reminds me of something but i can’t quite put my finger on it?

LEVII’S JEANS - I DIDNT KNOW THAT POST MALONE COULD SING LIKE THAT ?????? WHAT ? i literally live in england but whenever this song comes on suddenly im line dancing and i am wearing my metaphorical cowboy hat ,,.,,, denim 🕺🏽on 💃🏽denim🕺🏽on denim🕺🏽on 💃🏽denim  AND HE SAID YOURE MY RENESSAINCE !!!!!!!! RENEIGH IS BACK IN EMPLOYMENT

FLAMENCO - i NEED a longer version of this song desperately 😭 right about NOW😔 its another nostalgic sounding one

THE LINDA MARTELL SHOW / YA YA - ADDICTED TO THIS SONG WITH THE BEYONCÉ COWBOY CARTER ACT II RODEO INTRO W HER DOING THE DIFFERENT VOICES !!!!!!!!! WE SHAKIN !!!!!!! WE SWIMMIN !!!!!!!!!!!! WE JERKIN !!!!!!!!!!! WE TWEKING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM A SUCKER FOR SAMPLES AND SHE SAMPLES 2 SONGS HERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND SHE SAID SWEAT OUT THE SHEETS LIKE DRUNK IN LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I NEED TO HEAR THIS LIVE excuse my excitement but this song is THAT GOOD AND THEN THE TRANSITION INTO OH LOUISIANA IS CHEFFS KISS 

OH LOUSIANA - perfect sample!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALSO MY ‼️ DADDY ALABAMA ‼️ MOMMA !!!!!!!! LOUISIANA !!!!!!!!!!

DESERT EAGLE - when the eagle sound came on i was so happy i was waiting for that sound this whole album😩 RAAAHHHHHH 🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅🦅 

RIIVERDANCE - this one was stuck in my head for the LONGEST TIME. i need more love for this song, BOUNCE ON THA T SHII DANCE DANCE !!!!! NO HANDS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  IM A LESBIAN BUT IDC IM TURNING THIS UPPPPPP !!!!!! BOUNCE ON THAT SHIIII DANCE DANCE RUNNING THRU THE RIVERRRR RUNNING THRROUGH THE RIVER WITH YOUU BOUNCE ON THAT SHI DANCE DANCE

II HANDS II HEAVEN  - icl when this is playing i still have riiverdance lyrics repeating in my head because the transition is so smooth and the tempo stays the same i LOVEEEEE IT. dont juddgeeee me baby you would never juuudege me baby !!!!!! stallion running no candle in the wind !!!!!!!!!!!!!! this whole post is gonna be so incoherent and im not rereading this sorry to anyone still reading 😭 im just listening and vibing tbh i’m on day 6 of looping this album and im losing my mind, also this song is so sleepy in a really good way and then im woken up byyyyyy TYRANT

TYRANT - I LOVE DOLLYS VOICE IN THE INTRO !!!! AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE THE COUNTRY TRAP !!!!!!! THANK YOU COWBOY CARTER FOR GIVING ME THIS !!!!!!!!! and i always appreciate a becky with the good hair mention !!! TOP 5 ON THIS ALBUM FOR SUREEEE also is ‘on the run run’ a part ii on the run reference??? bc that’s so perfect considering theres so many ‘ii’ references on here ALSO i love the higher singing on the outro and on the one by one you hang them high line

SWEET ★ HONEY ★ BUCKIIN’ - ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ MY FAVOURITE ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ ON THIS ALBUM !!!!!!!! DARE I SAY… I LIKE THIS MORE THAN PURE / HONEY !!!!!!!! I LOVE A MULTIPLE PART SONG !!!!!!! THE SWEET SECTION IS SO FUN TO DANCE TO AND THE HONEY PART IS MY FAVOTUITE PART OF THIS ALBUM AND THE BUCKIIN PART IS 10000/10 BUCKIIN BUCKIIN BUCKIIIN WOAHHHHHHH also also doesn’t ‘pretty as hell, au naturel , dinin' on farce’ melodically remind you of ‘all my pretty girls to the floor’ from pure/ honey????

AMEN - feelin like im at church again, and it repeats parts of american requirem 😩 i love a tie in omg this album is already such a classic AOTY PLEASE

★★★★★

overall, i think that this is simply the greatest thing to ever grace my ears. i dont think ive ever seen an album with so much thought, care and research put into it, and beyoncé is truly an albums artist and i really really really admire the work she puts into this. since i was really young i really loved her and watching her music videos (watching the self titled music videos at 8 years old is such a core memory for me LOLLL) so every album release is so special to me, and i feel so well fed w this album and i am so intrigued about what’s coming for act iii!!!!!! sorry again for all this talking, this was the cut down version of my thoughts ☠️

overall faves as of right now : sweet honey buckiin, daughter, ya ya, tyrant

#personal #beyoncé #cowboy carter

[definitelynotshouting]

 (he can't say it's excitement, because he isn't actually keen to die– but it's something. A bit like hope, a lot like loss, in the shape of grief and threaded, ultimately, with desperate relief)

this sentence means everything to me, it is so

im speechless, what can i say? it's written so. it's so descriptive. it's so simple for such a complex feeling. it hits me in my lungs in a way different but similar to whenever im re-reading the little prince and especially the part when the geograph describes the boy's rose ephemeral

shouting, what are you doing to me? /pos

[asks continued past readmore]

He appears at what this world's spawn must be. It's a lovely place– all lush trees and flowing water, meadowgrass filling the air with the heady scent of spring. After so long in darkness, it makes his eyes burn with the adjustment, his senses flooding him with a deluge of new information. Grian trembles, curling his hands into fists, and begins to walk, following the vague trail that this server's owner has left for him to follow.

the same little princes rose anon

your writing is so amazing actually, like ive already thought so from the moment i met you but now im stopping and thinking back and taking it in anew.

your writing i mean, the way you describe things is so unique and high level and your words bring some kind of satisfaction trailing behind them

it is a joy to read i love how you interlace inner emotions with world building together like braids

if your writing was a braid it would be full of sunshine and pretty flowers, while the hair remains lustrous and royal and golden :)

Somewhere in front of him, Mumbo actually swears. The rapid rustle of cloth is his only warning before hands are on either side of his face, lifting his head and grazing into his hairline. "Grian?" Mumbo's voice is sharp. "Hey now, you– come on, open your eyes, alright? Don't be a spoon about this, please. You're not– come on. Eyes open. Grian, listen to me."

you are so sick for this, nobody even died and yet im shedding tears. that is mumbo. that is mumbo and he's horrified for grian. i love you - 🥀

your writing is so amazing i wish there was a compliment boost section, where someone could chip in to let those 1000 people absolutely gut wrenched, staring into their ceiling processing, madly in love with your writing unleash their inner demons by reminding you that you're amazing and there is no one else like you on this earth, and you mean so much to random people <3

- 🥀

Another rustle to his right: "Grian," another voice pipes up, and Grian's heart does that funny, agonizing flip again, because Scar's voice is shaking in a way he hasn't heard before. He sounds scared. "Grian, hey– hey. Look at me?" Grian looks at him, struggling to focus, the fog clouding his mind in one thick blanket. He's unfairly lovely with this backdrop of stars, and his face is pale too. "Grian, what are these?"

scratch that you deserve the thousands of soldiers marching into your dm's as if loverboys just send out by their wifes into the heart of the battle, dutifully complimenting you complimenting you and complimenting you, you deserve to open your mail to so many letters they will explode and cover your entire lawn and it will so much worse than the chicken/dragon pranktastrophy grian himself will blush, and doc will perish.

(they'll bury him in a chicken onesie) - 🥀

your writing is so intricate actually, binge drinked the whole fic and I have to say I'm so impressed with your Pearl characterisation

good nutritions my lovely spinning yoyo girl, she's shaped like those vitamin gummies you want to stick a handful into your mouth as a kid

also there is something so? distinct about the way the work passes through chapters. it feels as if everytime im switching onto the next one the theatre room curtains close, just to reopen to a different scene.

it feels like it takes moments, and weeks at the same time- the passing between the scenes. like if Grian breathed one moment and he was here, and then he breathed next one and he was...

still here? how long has passed between those moments? time seems to not hold much meaning here, like it runs on it's own rules despite anything.

maybe it was as long as it takes for an update, that's how much time has passed since one meeting till next one, maybe it's been a milisecond. - 🥀

ANON HOLY SHIT A WHOLEASS LIVEBLOG AND MULTIPLE COMPLIMENTS THROWN INTO MY ASKBOX????? OH MY GODS /POS THANK YOU SO MUCH THESE ARE SUCH LOVELY AND KIND WORDS IM GOING NUTS!!!!!!

Oh my gods the Little Prince comparison is making me INSANE thats like one of the highest compliments i could possibly receive i think, i love that book it fully changed my brain chemistry as a kid. Ive written things before that have drawn on that as thematic source material but to receive it on something i wasnt even intentionally trying to emulate makes me feel like all my insides got turned into bubbles. Ohmygods!!!! Holy shit!!!!

Also all these things you have to say about my writing being unique and just ;;;;;; wtf /pos this is so sweet to say, holy shit what do i do with all these compliments?!? Thank you so much, this is the most lovely ask ive gotten in a while and thats saying something bc ive been getting a TON of really nice people in my inbox lately. Im just so touched by what youve said here and how free you are with your praise-- it means a lot to me truly. Also ngl slightly stunned (/pos) at your comment about meaning so much to random people-- i guess its easy to forget that people dont just pay attention to the story that i post, but also to the person sitting behind the screen actually writing it. Its hard to conceptualize making such a personal impact on strangers when im not directly talking to them, but man im gonna be sitting on that comment for a WHILE just turning it over in my brain.

I am INCREDIBLY glad you like the fic, and especially Pearl's characterization. Tbh i have my friend @/cosmic-nopedog to thank for that one-- he was a big reason why i chose to give her such a meaty role, and he helped me come up with some of the emotional plot for her to begin with. I honestly think Pearl's role here is one of my absolute favorites in the entire story, and i cant wait to write more of it out :DDD

As for the time aspect, i do admit some of that probably has to do with the fact that i generally only update once a month 😭😭😭😭 but also, i really like episodic chapters!!! I sorta view scenes as film reels in my head, so i often write them accordingly, and im a real big stickler for ending chapters in a way that rounds them off satisfyingly. I tried explaining this to my partner about a month ago, but yknow how songs typically end on that one closing note to mark that theyre over??? Thats the sort of beat i always try to emulate when im finishing a chapter off. I just really personally find it satisfying to tie each chapter up individually, only to introduce a new "episode" in the next one so each one feels fairly complete and like it could almost stand alone. This is just a personal preference, though, and is likely influenced by all the specific books i read growing up <- almost exclusively read 70s fantasy novels 😂😂😂 either way, im really glad you like it and think its unique!!! These messages were so sweet to receive, i am sending you Beams rose anon, i hope youre having an AMAZING DAY and thank you so so much for making mine❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

#shouting speaks #asks #hunger au #compliments #GODS. WAAHHHH #THIS IS SO NICE #rose anon i am beaming only the nicest and freshest vibes your way #also i hope you dont mind i chose to compile this into one post!!!! i wanted to make sure i didnt spam my followers SKJDSJDJJD #txt