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#she said im here and so are the girls and you know what good for her
mclqren · 3 days
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ME AND MY BROKEN HEART ★ CL16 ( & MV33 )
PAIRING ✦ charles leclerc x fem!ex girlfriend!reader ; max verstappen x fem!reader
SUMMARY ✦ when charles leaves you heartbroken, you end up letting a certain red bull driver help mend your broken heart [ SMAU ]
WARNINGS ✦ cursing
REQUESTED ✦ here!
NOTES ✦ reader is a model for dior. for the timeline of this, reader & charles broke up in august 2023 and he got with another woman (choosing to leave her unnamed because there will be NO alex slander) in september 2023. as per request, the fc i've used is hannah harrell, but feel free to picture whoever you want! my requests are closed at the moment.
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liked by yourbsf, anyataylorjoy, and 691,221 others
yourusername had to learn that the hard way 👎
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user1 THE LAST SLIDE WHAT.
user2 NO WAY ARE HER AND CHARLES BROKEN UP NOOO
user3 MY FAV COUPLE 💔
user4 the way im so upset rn is not healthy.
user5 real like THEY WERE PARENTS
user6 okay but y/n is still glowing??
user7 righttt!! enough about the guy who drives in circles all day, lets talk about HER 😍
user8 he fumbled.
user9 realll!
yourbsf making that cake was wayyy too much fun 😋
yourusername breaking it apart was even better 😉
anyataylorjoy 😍😍
yourusername who needs a man when i have you 🩷
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liked by yourbsf, maxverstappen1, and 651,212 others
tagged yourbsf
yourusername greek air to cure the breakup blues 🇬🇷💙
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user14 OKAYYY MISS Y/N YOU ARE SERVING AS PER!!
user15 she's living her best life and im HERE FOR IT
user16 her and her bsf are actually everything to me
user17 so trueee i need a friendship like theirs!!
user18 NOO I WAS JUST IN GREECE I CANT BELIEVE I MISSED YOU
user19 NO I WAS AS WELL I WAS SO UPSET WHEN I SAW THIS
user20 bet charles is missing you rn!!
user21 who cares abt charles? she's literally getting over him rn, he's so yesterday's news 😴
user22 what part did you go to?? im planning on going over the holidays in october, and i desperately need some recs!! 🫶
yourusername crete!! it was so so beautiful, can confirm 🩷
user23 one driver out of her likes, another (max verstappen) in her likes
user24 okay but they'd be such a good couple??
yourbsf GIRLS TRIP WAS THE BESTTT
yourusername NEXT ONE PENDING FOR SUREEE
mariloublg_ absolutely gorgeous gorgeous girlies 😍😍
yourusername MARILOU MY ANGEL 🩷
user25 i came here from the instagram gossip website and can i just say in that interview you SERVED
user26 REALLL
user27 wait what are you guys on about?? im so lost HELP
user26 go on @/f1wagnews and you'll see!
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liked by user28, user29, and 871,291 others
f1wagnews NEW: Y/N L/N breaks her silence on the circulating paparazzi pictures of Charles Leclerc & his apparent new girlfriend. When asked by the media what she thought, she said: "Charles being in a new relationship not even a month later is naturally a shock, seeing as I assumed he would treat me and the times we shared over the past three years with the same dignity and respect that I am treating him. I don't know, I guess these sort of memories aren't as priceless to him as they are to me. Still, I hope he's happy in his new relationship."
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user28 OKAYY MISS Y/N IS BACKK!!
user29 THIS is what i was waiting for.
user30 she is actually handling this really maturely to be fair to her!!
user31 realll!! i wish i would've been like this with my ex
user32 okay so a lot of the comments are saying she handled this w grace or whatever but is it just me who disagrees? like she's literally being rude to him and his new girlfriend, and you're all hyping her up?? like huh??
user33 honestly this comment makes no sense to me; she didn't say anything rude about charles in this, she simply said that she was shocked to see him in a relationship when they were together for three years, and honestly she's valid for that! i don't think many girls would enjoy seeing their ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend all over the media, and so y/n is honestly handling this so well.
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yourusername
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( caption one: crazy huh 😉 | caption two: compensation acquired ✅ + tags )
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liked by mariloublg_, maxverstappen1, and 667,891 others
tagged mariloublg_
yourusername america with my girl 🩷 (& her boyfriend...)
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user37 THE CAPTION LMAOO
user38 Y/N REMAINS HILARIOUS
user39 ASTON MARTIN SWITCH UP HELLOOO??
user40 I KNOWW marilou and her are so cute though i loveee
user41 it's so weird to see her in green after having seen her in red for the past three years
user42 i knowww but she looks like she's happy now and that's all that matters tbh!!
lance_stroll thanks so much for the shoutout y/n, appreciate you too i guess
yourusername listen stroll if you hurt her i'll be at ur doorstep.
lance_stroll im actually sort of scared of you at times y/n.
yourusername good! 😊😊
maxverstappen1 so you liked seeing me win then?
yourusername you've been winning since like the prehistoric ages mate i think ive gotten used to it by now 🙄 (yes)
user43 so like is it just me or is this flirty...
mariloublg_ MY GIRL FOREVERRR 🫶
yourusername 🩷🩷
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liked by yourbsf, maxverstappen1, and 702,192 others
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yourusername second slide is me when i finally manage to get my shit together
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user44 OKAY BUT ARE MAX AND Y/N DATING ORRR
user45 MAYBEEE!! honestly they'd be so cute i just KNOW he'd treat her right
user46 y/n you are my everything.
user47 the flowersss?? did miss y/n get herself another man?
user48 has to be max.
maxverstappen1 the second slide was uncalled for. ☹️
yourusername I COULDNT STOP LAUGHING IM SO SORRY IT WAS HILARIOUS 😭
maxverstappen1 the flowers 👀👀
yourusername yeah!! wonder who got me those 😍
anyataylorjoy you have a man now? ☹️
yourusername nooo ur the only one i need baby i swear 🩷
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liked by mariloublg_, user49, and 921,933 others
f1wagnews NEW: Y/N L/N is a WAG again...but for a different driver on the grid! In a recent interview during the Las Vegas Grand Prix, Max Verstappen confirmed to the press that he and Y/N had entered a relationship a couple of weeks prior, after pictures circulated of the two in his car in Monaco: "Well obviously she came to the COTA grand prix and I had already known her before and we were good friends, so we fell right back where we left off, and here we are now! [...] Yeah things are going great, she's truly one of the best people I've ever met."
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user49 Y/NSTAPPEN LETS GOOOO
user50 MY GIRL IS A WAG AGAINNN I LOVE
user51 is it just me who misses charles and y/n ☹️
user52 yeah. 😊
mariloublg_ ❤️❤️
user53 MARILOUUUU?? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!!
user54 ONE OF Y/N'S BEST FRIENDS AND FELLOW WAG COMMENTING OH ITS SERIOUS.
user55 they are seriously adorableee 🫶🫶
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( caption one: third time's the charm? 😬 | caption two: wtf is this man thinking about now. )
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liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, and 934,219 others
tagged maxverstappen1
yourusername MR WORLD CHAMPPP!! so so proud of you maxie, my winner always 🩷
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user59 Y/N AWWWW
user60 i have a feeling this one's working out idk
user61 oh absolutely
user62 so happy to see you happy again y/n!! 🫶🫶
user63 lost some race driver and came back with a world champion 🏆🏆
user64 ADORABLEEE
mariloublg_ MY CUTIES
yourusername OUR BIGGEST FAN
mariloublg_ well as your fairy godmother it IS an obligation to be ur biggest fan ever 🧚‍♀️🧚‍♀️
maxverstappen1 love you ❤️
yourusername my champ 🏆
charles_leclerc so happy for both of you ❤️
yourusername thank you so much charles, hope ur doing well w ur gf 🩷
user65 charles and y/n are talking again, i can officially sleep in peace.
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paigebueckersmommy · 2 days
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just tired - p.b
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paige bueckers x reader
requested by anon (kinda)
warnings: ed! , mental health issues, passing out
if you or anyone you know is struggling with an ed, don’t be afraid to reach out for help and my messages are open ❤️
you didn’t know what it was but recently you had been struggling a lot recently and didn’t know why. you had the worlds best girlfriend, and the best friends that you could ask for.
recently you found yourself looking at the back of food packaging, and always being tired.
the past 4 times you went to paige’s dorm you fell asleep almost instantly, which wasn’t normal for you. paige knew about your past with ed your freshman year, and was always checking in but things didn’t start getting bad for you till recently. paige had taken you on a vacation for your 2 year anniversary and you got insecure when you put on a swimsuit for the first time in months.
you were at paige’s dorm, laying in her bed with paige next to you eating a bag of goldfish. “baby do you want some?” paige said. “uh no i’m fine i had something before i came.” you say with uncertainty in your voice knowing that you wouldn’t be able to look at the food label without paige seeing. “are you okay princess? you’ve said that the past couple times you’ve been here when i’ve offered you food and your always falling asleep. i’m getting worried”paige said siting up and looking at you. “P, i promise im fine. “ you say pressing a kiss to her lips.
the next day
it was 7pm, and you were at the gym for the 2nd time that day. you were running on the treadmill watching the ‘cals. burned’ part of the screen go up when you got in incoming facetime call from paige. knowing she would freak out if she knew you were there for the 2nd time, you ran into the bathroom and into the stall at the end before picking up. you answer the phone, out of breath. “hi baby! i was wonder- ma where are you?” paige said with confusion. “oh uh- i’m at the gym.” you say knowing you couldn’t keep anything from paige. “baby didn’t you go this morning before your first class?” paige says.
“y-yea but i had some extra time on my hands tonight.” you say with shaky breath. “okay. as long as your eating 3 meals a day baby.” paige says with a sincere voice. “anyway i was wondering segue you get home if i could come over. i need to study and kk is being so loud playing fortnite… i also miss you.” you smile. “yea paige that’s fine ill be home in like 30 minutes.” you lie. you would be home in 15.
when you get home you shower, feeling faint. you change into sweats as you are cold despite taking a hot shower. you brush your hair and start walking into the living room when-
you pass out.
paige’s pov:
i jiggle my keys into her apartment door when i walk in and she’s on the floor of her living room. i immediately drop all my stuff, rushing next to her side. i start nudging and shaking her with panic, “baby wake up it’s me paige please baby,” i say as i feel a tear form and not long after i feel it fall.
readers pov:
i feel myself being shaken. was i asleep? did i fall asleep on my floor? “baby please wake up,” i hear paige say as i start to comprehend the things happening. “paige what happened,” you say, fluttering your eyes. “baby i think you passed out are you okay? why haven’t you been eating.” paige says as you notice that’s she’s crying.
“baby please talk to me. i’ve been worrried by you a lot recently.” paige helps you up as you both sit on your couch. “i-i don’t know. it’s just that i feel like my body isn’t good enough i need to lose weight.”
paige looks at you. “baby. your the most perfect girl i’ve ever met. every part of you, your personality, your body, your face, anything. you don’t have to change anything about you baby your already perfect.”
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kikikigrah · 2 days
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unlikely duo
lando norris x singer!yn
summary: following y/n, an international superstar, invited by mclaren to attend the monaco gp. after that, it’s all go from there with a certain no.4 driver.
faceclaim: jazmyn makenna!
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yourusername posted
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liked by mclaren, landonorris, and 1,392,902 others.
yourusername omggg! thank you so much for having me @ mclaren this has been a life long dream. the little girl in me is sooo happy, and i had THEEEEE most fun! mclaren girl until i die. 🥹
78,628 comments
mclaren Guys shut up, y/n y/l/n is officially a part of the papaya fam! 🧡
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user1 THIS IS THE CROSSOVER I DIDN’T KNOW I NEEDED!!!
—> user2 wdym girl y/n has been saying she was a fan of f1 since before you could talk 😭
user3 do we think she’s a lando girlie or an oscar girlie?
—> landonorris Obviously Lando.
—> user4 AGHHHHH HE REPLIED TO YOUR COMMENT!!
—> user5 Lando being messy as usual. 😭
f1 Was y/n here for us or were we here for her?
user6 she’s really doing every side quest to avoid dropping a new album.
—> user7 WE ARE HUNGRY GIRLLLL
user8 lando’s comment… let him cook.
—> user9 So true give y/n a good man for once.
—> user10 y’all are MADDD weird, they literally just met y/n went to ONE race.
—> user11 @ user10 they’ve been following each other wayyy before she went to this race.
—> user12 I’m here for it.
f1wagupdates posted
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56,892 likes
f1wagupdates International music sensation y/n y/l/n was spotted in a club in Monaco during this summers off season with Lando Norris, having preformed in Paris the night prior. The two were reportedly seen both arriving and leaving together.
8,397 comments
user8 I WAS RIGHT WHEN I SAID SO IN MAY SHUT UP OH MY GOD.
—> user 13 Can you be right about a P1 for Lando next?
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landonorris uploaded a photo to their story
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yourusername posted
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Liked by landonorris and 1,003,893 others
yourusername monacoooo baby, best week of my life!!!! will be back asap <3
45,903 comments
user14 SHUT UP THE LAST PHOTO, LANDO WAS ON A BOAT TWO DAYS AGOOOO
—> user15 y/nDO IS REALLL!!!
—> user16 HOW IS THE PAPARAZZI NOT CATCHING THESE TWO?
—> user17 @ user16 just a normal day in monaco 😭😭😭😭
madisonbeer come back to LA girl i miss u 🥹
—> yourusername ily bby see u soon!
—> user18 y/nson stronger than y/ndo could EVER BE!
—> user19 WHERE IS THE COLLAB?
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liked by madisonbeer
landonorris I’ll show you around next time?
—> yourusername if you’re driving!
—> user20 LANDO STOP ACTING AS IF YOU WEREN’T ALREADY DOING THAT!
—> user21 why are we being gaslighted rn.
user22 drop the album queen!
y/n_updates posted
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liked by carlossainz55, and 973,893 others.
y/n_updates Y/n spotted last night in her current home city of LA getting cosy with Formula One driver Lando Norris. The two have been interacting on social media, and have been rumoured to be dating since they appeared to have first met in May.
Y/n has not been involved with anyone romantically since her whirlwind romance with the rising star Jacob Elordi last year. Elordi is believed to be the mystery man she was referring to in her hit song ‘ballad of broken promises’.
Read more about the singer and her supposed new flame through the link in our bio.
69,683 comments
user23 WE HEAR NOTHING ABOUT THEM IN MONTHS AND THEN SUDDENLY GET THE CLUB IN MONACO AND THIS?!
user24 y/nDO IS CONFIRMED
user25 omg his outfit… girlfriend effect at its finest. 🙏
—> user26 still had to keep the cap though 💀
user27 jacob elordi to lando norris… they couldn’t be more different from each other 😭
—> user28 that’s what i was thinking, the height is the first thing!
—> user29 mother has amazing taste 😩
—> user30 @ user29 ik u didn’t just say that having listened to ballad of broken promises 💀💀
user31 THE WAY CARLOS LIKED THIS POST IM SCREAMING!!!!
—> user32 HIS BEST FRIEND JUST CONFIRMED IT HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA
user33 CARLOS SAINZ STIRRING THE POT
user34 omg my girl has a man 🥹 i am so so happy for her if they are official
user35 Am i the only one who has never heard of Lando 😭
—> user36 UMM YES 💀
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yourusername posted
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liked by madisonbeer, landonorris, and 2,389,683 others.
yourusername i am super excited to announce that my new single ‘high-heeled sweetheart’, ft my bestest friend @ madisonbeer , will be coming out this friday! i had so much fun making this track, and i’m sooo super proud of it. thank u to all the beautiful ppl out there who keep making this dream of mine possible. i just want to hug each and every one of you. <33
and a special thank you to @ landonorris for taking the beautiful photo i now get to use as the cover for this song. you’re incredible! :)
96,682 comments
user37 SO LAST NIGHT WE GET THE Y/N X LANDO PICS IN LA, AND TODAY WE GET A SONG DROP.
—> user38 AND HE TOOK THE COVER PHOTO
—> user39 i fucking love the cover but it’s so risqué, they are 100% dating.
—> user40 THE :) FACE OH I AM SICK!
madisonbeer my ANGEL!! I loved finally working with you
—> yourusername thank you for being here with me every step of the way madi
mclaren We will be streaming this song as soon as it comes out. 🧡
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user41 the way she still hasn’t adressed the dating rumours, queen shit.
—> user42 she don’t need to, the pics are confirmation enough. 😭
landonorris y/n called me incredible, #winning.
—> yourusername lando norris noticed ME #winning.
—> user43 ARE Y’ALL GONNA COME OUT AND TELL US UR DATING OR DO WE NEED TO FORCE IT OUT OF YOU?
—> user44 MOTHER AND FATHER?
iamrebeccad will be listening on friday! so happy for you ✨
—> yourusername i absolutely adore you 🥹
���> user45 HIS BEST FRIENDS GIRLFRIEND IS EVEN COMMENTING NOW!
—> user46 oh theyre locked in.
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placeinthisworld · 2 days
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ttpdta review part one 🤠
let me preface this by stating that i am a swiftie first and person second in this situation. i have grown up with taylor and feel as if shes my big sister- yes i can make fun of her but if i see anyone else do it i will get fiercely protective. i do understand her music is not only art but also her form of therapy. that being said, throughout these nonsense notes i am constantly mentioning that taylor should go to therapy. i am aware of what she has said about therapy (and why she doesn’t go) but i would beg to differ with her…especially after this album release lol.
taylor is an extraordinary storyteller and song writer. i believe this album is full of evidence of that, but it also has some faults that prevent from being as good as i felt like it could have been. overall the album feels rushed.
i also feel like it’s important to recognize the elephant in the room. i know we probably all expected this to be a joe breakup album, so the fact that it turned out to be a “fuck you matty healy” album shook us all a little bit. i know matty had a controversial history, im not gonna sit here and defend him. i don’t know much about him other than what is forced against my will. i do however know that he struggles with mental health issues/ substance abuse/ addiction. i’m not gonna comment much about his personal issues, i don’t feel like that’s right and taylor’s constant references to drugs throughout ttpd definitely rubs me the wrong way. i should also mention i grew up with an active addict and do view things from that perspective, so i feel slightly triggered by the topic and my feelings about that may just be personal but i do mention that in my notes when it’s relevant.
lastly, i am not a music production girlie idk shit lol. i only know i am a aaron dessner stan so any song with his name im already biased towards and i am aware, if u don’t like that idk what to tell u lol. i just know what i feel like is “good” or “bad” but music is subjective🫶🏻
1. Fortnight:
Hate the functional alcoholic part. Like the beat, the chorus is catchy. One thing i love about a taylor swift song is that theres always a story and its always visual. I like the metaphor of the “good neighbors” of like having this teasing/ longing feeling for someone that you could have had a life with. “Your wife waters flowers/ i want to kill her + my husbands cheating/ i want to kill him” feeling like you were robbed of her life, feeling “all my mornings are mondays stuck in an endless february” reminiscing about the short period of time where you were together and convinced it would last forever (only for it to end before it even started). I do not listen to much post malone but i enjoyed his verse!! So many florida references we get it everything bad happens in florida.
i have not seen the video yet oooopsies
2. Ttpd:
i thought this was the opening of Hey Stephen (the remix) or something at first. gotta say i absolutely love the way she sings “you left your typewriter at my apartment/ straight from the tortured poets department” i enjoyed the vibe of this song, and lyrics up until the “you smoked then ate seven bars of chocolate (OKAY SOOOOOOO ME CODED NGL I LAUGHED at this point i could let this lyric slide- bit then she had to mention the charlie puth and golden retriever thing and ngl it almost ruins the song entirely for me. Tbh when i first listened to the leak i thought this was a fake AI song and that i was sending around a fake leak bc these lyrics started to get a little weird to me. ‘Sometimes i wonder if youre gonna screw this up with me/ but you told lucy you’d kill yourself if i ever leave” …………girl i am begging you to see a therapist (side note did anyone else have a friend in hs whos bf would say that shit a lot?? I remember straight up fighting with a friend who refused to break up w her bf bc he would threaten to end his own life is she did and he was like 16? If an adult is saying that same shit i would be Very concerned not gossiping about it???) “i chose this cyclone with you” my first reaction was: ride the cyclone the musical? Overall i liked the first half but you lost me at charlie puth (hes the one with eyebrow right? I think i get him and miles teller mixed up) (i dont know who either of these men are)
3. My boy only breaks his favorite things:
Okay tbh i thought this was gonna be one of my least favorites, but the total opposite happened. I think this is one of my top 5 favorites on this album. I do think that there is a difference between a poem and a song and that they are not always interchangeable. I feel like if this was edited into a poem it would be KILLER. The visuals, the the story, the vocabulary, the sadness in it. “Im queen of sandcastles he destroys/ There was danger in the heat of my touch/ once i fix me/ hes gonna miss me/ i felt more when we played pretend then with all the kens / cause he took me out of my box” i feel like ever since folklore, taylors been trying to push these big fancy words and sometimes it feels awkward and forced, but this is one of the rare songs that doesn't suffer from that.
4. Down bad:
meh. Chorus is catchy. I dont love the narrative “fuck it if i cant have him/ i might just it would make no difference” but i also have never once experienced that over a person before lmao……….taylor go to therapy. Nothing really stands out about this to me otherwise. No offense, but it sounds like a generic jack antonoff song lol. Like maybe if another artist released this, i would enjoy it more but idk i wouldnt expect it from taylor i guess. Just kinda feels boring to me sorry if u enjoy it <3
5. So long, london:
oh man were done with british men now for real for real. “ two graves one gun. I'll find someone” its over for joe and matty (but thats fine if all she has to say about joe is what i think she said on this album i am happy i think We Get It…) Aaron dessner i love u (remember when he reposted me on his ig ahh).”i kept calm and carried the weight of the rift/ pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away” + “I stopped trying to make him laugh/ stopped trying to drill the safe/ i didnt opt in to be our odd man out/ im pissed off you let me give you all of that youth for free” oof i FELT that one a LITTLE too hard. I think this is both a song about matty and joe- i think she had a life and an attachment to london just in general through both relationships, “im just mad as hell because i loved this place” and so reflecting back on how both are over and how all those plans with either are done. “You sacrificed us to the gods of your bluest days” OKAY kinda hate this phrase bc it feels like shes placing blame on whomever’s mental health/ depression, like as if they made the conscious decision to sacrifice the relationship solely. This very much feels like “how much sadness did you think i could take before i got bored???” overall top favorite songs bc it doesnt have too many cringey or odd lyrics and the production is 10/10 thank u aaron dessner ilysm king
6. But daddy i love him:
tbh when i got the leak this was the first song i listened to bc i thought it was gonna be the worst one and i wanted to get it over with (i was RIGHT until she dropped that second half……..) and i DIDNT have the lyrics obviously so i couldnt for the life of me figure out if she really said “im having his baby…..NO IM NOT!” until the VERY end of the song and bro…….the cringe. The cringe. The cringe. This is also when i started to question if this was real or if i was passing out a fake leak, lol. I dont understand how she could be saying this shit about matty. And like we all know it lol. “Sometimes growing up precocious sometimes means not growing up at all” …….but like does it??? I feel like thats kinda an oxymoron or something like i understand what shes trying to say and MOST of the time her metaphors and comparisons make sense to me but like this one doesnt. Growing up precocious means to grow up more advanced in maturity, how would that also mean not growing up at all? Is it just me getting stoned and overthinking things? “Ill tell you something about my good name/ its mine alone to disgrace” true that bestie ur doin a great job by being so politically quiet over the past couple of yeats after making a whole asss documentary about wanting to be on the right side of history. But I digress i am just one of those bitches performing soliloquies you'll never see. Overall this song is very weird and cringey imo and i wish it stayed in whatever vault it was sitting in lol.
7.Fresh out of the slammer: “In the shade of how he was feeling” -_- dont like this narrative already. I could honestly go on a rant about why i dont like this song but im going to spare for the sake of my sanity in this review of thirty one fucking songs but its along these lines “to the one who says im the girl of his american dreams” oh brother. otherwise i dont care for many of the lyrics, the chorus/ melody/vibe is mid i guess. It sounds like another jack song (i was right)
8. Florida!!!: “all my friends smell like weed or little babies” okay i know what she was trying to say but im SORRY you cant tell me she couldnt think of ANY other way to say her friends are either parents partiers lmao. Deserves jail for that but luckily the vibe and the chorus of the song are really catchy and florence’s voice is beautiful in it. “Well me and my ghost we had a hell of a time/ yes im haunted but im feeling just fine” CHILLS i loved it. I didnt think i would like this song but (maybe as much as i like no body, no crime which is meh) but no i lowkey love this song and think its really fun. Once again the drug references start to get heavy here in the album and like i mentioned i do get slightly triggered by drug mentions.
9. Guilty as sin?:
okay taylor we get it you masterbate. Another strong jack song and it’s pretty similar to others on the album so nothing besides the sexual lyrics stand out.
10. Whos afraid of little old me?:
“if you wanted me dead you should have just said/ nothing makes me feel more alive” ooooooooooh i love that. I feel like a live or an acoustic version of this song would give me CHILLS. “Is it a wonder i broke / lets hear one more joke/ then we can all laugh until i cry” honestly so relatable, “i was tame, i was gentle til the circus life made me mean” oh :( that hurt bc it just reminds me of the vibe shift during midnights era/ eras tour where it *feels* like she started to pull back from being taylor swift and started to become Taylor Swift (™) and the way her fans/ media has treated her made her mean or cold or something and that just makes me feel sad. “Whos afraid of little old me? You caged me and then you called me crazy! I am what i am cause you trained me! SO. WHOS. AFRAID. OF ME? Again the narcotics line kinda makes me feel icky but thats bc i have that thing about drugs and just dont LOVE all the references to them. Like i know its not that serious but theres a reason why i dont seek out artists that typically talk or write about that stuff ya know so its weird. Overall i think the production is one of the most unique ones on this part of the album.
11. I can fix him (no really i can):
i hate it all around i think. I hate the narrative of “i can fix him!! I can handle a dangerous man!!! No really i can!!!” there is a reason why this song is barely 3 mins long lol it should have been cut but i think taylor wanted to Be Edgy. i dont care for the productions or the lyrics, its very forgetful imo.
12. Loml:
okay i really thought this was gonna be a joe song (rip) so i was thinking it was gonna be really deep and sad and like it IS but with the context of it being the pt 2 fling with matty it doesnt seem like it now. Anyone who thinks this is not about matty please look at the lyrics and be so serious “whos gonna stop us from waltzing back into reklndled flames/ if we know the steps anyway” I think matty just said too much shit to taylor during their fling and taylor WAS truly convinced this her invisible string and he promised her a lot that he couldnt upkeep and ghosted her and she took it SUPER hard, i mean two breakups in one year is a lot (me, whos never been through a single breakup once). I just dont understand how she feels like matty is the greatest loss of her life. One of my favorite tracks on the album, “our field of dreams engulfed in fire/ your arsons match your somber eyes” a LOT of these lyrics are actually really good imo. I think im the only one that didnt find the “mr. steal your girl and make her cry” line idk i thought it was actually kinda neat, the phrasing of it, kinda contradicts the title “love of my life” because he was never that serious or respectful of her and only use her from the beginning. This is another song that i think would make KILLER poem over song. Overall i think the piano is haunting and a live version of this will make me die, thank u again aaron dessner 10/10
13. I can do it with a broken heart:
ngl i thought this was the opening to mastermind for a hot second- also gave me a scare on whether or not this was a fake leak lol. Catchy ass chorus but very YOYOK. “Breaking down i hit the floor/ All the pieces of me shattered/ as the crowd was shouting “more!” ooffffffff seeeeee that is exactly WHAT i was afraid she was feeling durning the eras tour after the joe breakup/ matty situation and all these stupid twitter and tik tok swiffers were out here overanalyzing EVERYTHING and demanding rep tv like every other day. “Im so depressed i act like its my birthday” …….okay taylor. Like a lot of people have said, i think she interchanges “depressed” for “sad” a lot and the two are not the same. I think taylor wrote this song (but specifically the “i cry a lot time but i am so productive” and was like “yup this part is gonna go viral on tik tok,” initially i wrote “feels like taylor saw that depression barbie commercial in barbie 2023 and wrote a song based on that” lol which i still agree with. Overall the production of this screams midnights reject lol, very jack antonoff. Over time this song has grown on me a lot. Originally i didnt care for it but now its kind of a bop but i think its bc its so similar to YOYOK. “Try and come for my job” @taylorswift deadass you couldn’t think of anything else to say instead. cmon. I was mostly on board until that very last part, just seemed very cheesy lol like its not a big deal but i thought it delivered well without it.
14. The smallest man who ever lived:
(aaron thank u for saving me and this entire album) “they just ghosted you/ now you know what it feels like” OUCH. “i dont even want you back i just want you to know/ if rusting my sparkling was the goal/ and i dont miss what we had but can someone give/ a message to the smallest man who ever lived” oh this was somber af. I am obsessed with the phrasing of the chorus. I also LOVE taylors deeper voice its def giving me the same feelings MTR gave me from folklore, that made me CRY and this was very similar. This is another classic taylor song that i could EASILY write like a ten page essay about if someone put a gun to my head. I know that its about a *romantic* relationship, but it feels general enough to be able to relate to anyone who is close to someone with an addiction or struggles with substances. A lot of addicts dont understand the impact of their addiction or their behaviors that they display while struggling. To meeeeee, this feels very much like “you were self centered and betrayed my trust, was any of this true? Real? Am i paranoid or is this that deep?” “it wasnt sexy once it wasnt forbidden” has me thinking lots of things. I think that describes taylors “type”if that makes sense? Like i said i would need to literally break this song down line by line like its ridiculous i have too many thoughts about this song i have listened to it on repeat six times by the time im typing this. “In public showed me off/ then sank in stoned oblivion” FUCK. “you treat her like an also-ran” honestly i have never heard of that phrase/word thank u dr. swift. “Were you sent by someone who wanted me DEAD/ did you sleep with a GUN underneath OUR BED/ were you writing a BOOK?/ were you a sleeper cell SPY? IN 5O YEARS WILL THIS BE ALL DECLASSIFIED?/ AND YOU’LL CONFESS WHY YOU DID IT!/ AND ILL SAY GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” tears were formed besties. Also love the gracie abrams reference. “And you deserve prison but you wont get time” i feel like is very metaphorical like you DESERVE to be punished for what you did to me but you won’t admit to the guilt, you wont admit your wrongdoings, you wont admit that i would have done anything for you and you have no problem replacing me. “You said normal girls were boring/ but you were gone by the morning” first of all red flag girlie, nonetheless heartbreaking. “And in plain sight you hid/ but you are what you did” i say this with all the love in my heart, someone take taylor swift to a really good really private therapist. I could say more but i think i need to move on because i am now on my eighth cyle of listening to this song.
15. The alchemy:
already kinda hate it. “What if i told you im back/ the hospital was a drag/ worst sleep i ever had” do you think taylor swift has ever been admitted to a real hospital in this context. Feels very out of place and like i said earlier i dont love the psych ward visuals/ references she keeps inserting in this album. “He jokes its heroin but this time with an e” thanks! I fucking hate that line so much. Feels very icky, not funny. I get what shes going for but it falls so flat for me. The football references (yall know my opinion on meathead!!!!!!!! I will not engage!!!) are fucking dumb. Production is kinda lame and uninterested. Will only listen to this song if by force and will not repeat it ive head enough lets move on.
i have Lots Of Thoughts. i don’t think anyone cares about what i have to say though so i don’t think i’ll bother posting the rest lol but i did do a lot of work so ill post just a bit to make myself feel better.
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simplydannie · 1 day
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Fanfic about Poppy, Viva, and Velvet?
Great minds think alike! I had another friend request a little something between Poppy, Viva, and Velvet! @fairytypingg
Poppy and Viva friends with Velvet seems kinda out place, especially with Velvet's character being the way it is. But I think the little happiness that Poppy and Viva bring might be just the thing to help her.
We Got You
"IM FINE! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE VENEER!" Velvet marched into her suit, and shut the door. "Vels!" Her brother attempted to run in after her, but the door was locked. He jiggled the knob, "Vels, please, talk to me."....Silence. She had been on edge recently, well, not recently, more like when they got out of prison...actually...when they were in prison. Veneer had made every attempt to talk to her, to have her open up to him about things that were going, about their next steps together....but she's completely shut him out. With a heavy sigh, Veneer retreated.
"The twins were set to call Vacay Island their home for the next couple of months. Bruce and Brandy have allowed them to work and live in one of the suits. Veneer enjoyed it, he felt like he was finally doing something right, something good. Velvet felt different. So many emotions were building inside of her, so many questions that needed answers. What would happen to them when they were done with their community service? Where would they live? The Trolls didn't really care for them. She hated how Veneer was always after them, always seeking their approval. They were always judging them she knew, but they didn't know it, they didn't know anything.... Velvet noticed...It was the first thing she noticed: Veneer was sick again. "Hey Vellie!" Velvet rolled her eyes at the sound of an annoying little Troll...Poppy. She just ignored her, just like she always would. She continued to clean he tables at the resort. "You know I'm going to get you to hang out with me and Viva! We're always looking to add another sister." The little Troll chimed. "I don't want a sister." Velvet said coldly. Another annoying voice piped up next to Poppy. "Uh, of course you do! Who wouldn't want a sister!" Viva exclaimed. "I have a brother. I'm good. Now can you PLEASE leave me alone." Velvet's tone was flat. Poppy tilted her head as she took a good look at the Rageon....Sadness, worry, fatigue...That's what Poppy saw. Velvet was trying to hold everything together, Poppy knew there was something beneath the service that was really troubling her. She opened her mouth to say something... "Hey guys!" Veneer came in holding a tray. He sported a dark blue vest with a black rolled up sleeve button up underneath. Black skinny pants were worn beneath his torso. "Guess whose the new waiter around here?" He did a full turn to show off his new look. "Meow! Vels doesn't your brother look so handsome!" Viva chimed. "Ugh." The Rageon rolled her eyes as she moved on to the next table. Veneer followed her hesitantly. "You know, we get off at the same time. Oh! Let's go snorkling before it gets dark!" A smile spread across his face. Poppy looked at Velvet to study her response. The Rageon's expression was left unchanged. "Seriously, you're asking again? " She replied without turning to look at him. "Go get the drinks to serve! Or you're fired." With a defeated look, Veneer retreated into the kitchen. Velvet could feel the eyes of the two small Trolls piercing her from behind.
"Why don't you ever want to hang out with him? Us, I guess I understand. But he's your brother. I'd give every chance to always be with Poppy." Viva explained. Velvet remained silent. Viva turned to her sister, hoping for some support.
"Velvet, is something else going on? I don't mean to always pry, but I always hear Veneer trying to open up to you...You just seem to...always shut him out. You know you....you can talk to me...You can talk to Viva! Girl to girl." Poppy tried her best to express her feelings of concern for the Rageon. One thing she learned about being queen, was how to read people, how to know when someone was sad, afraid, holding back.
"What goes on with me is none of your business. I just want to do my time and get out of here..."
CRASH!
The three girls turned their heads towards the sound of breaking glass coming from the kitchen. Velvet was the first to run in: Veneer was on the floor, struggling to get up, broken glass all around him.
"Vennie!" Viva attempted to go to his aid.
"Stay away!" Velvet was the first to his side.
"My bad!" He attempted a smile. "I-I slipped." Liar, Velvet mused. She could see the weakness in his arms and legs, how they went limp, how he struggled to find his strength to stand.
"Don't lie to me, Ven." She demanded. Her brother fell silent as she struggled to help him to his feet...his legs continuing to give out.
"How can we help you? Vellie, please tell us what to do." Poppy begged.
"YOU CAN LEAVE US ALONE!" Velvet screamed. She latched one of Veneer's arm over her should, struggling, she began to lead him away towards their suit.
"Vels!" Viva called out after her. But the Rageon ignored any kindness and any help that was thrown her way. A feeling fell at the pit of Viva's stomach as she watched the twins march off. "Poppy, I can't help but feel that something is wrong...Something is terribly wrong."
"I know Viv....me too." Poppy stretched and reached for Viva's hand.
Poppy and Viva continued to replay that moment in the kitchen throughout the rest of the day. They couldn't think right, couldn't eat. Velvet was always tough in the surface, but something told them, deep down, there was a little girl crying for help, crying for an answer to all their problems.
How would they know? Because they were that little girl at one point. Viva leading the group of surviving Trolls after the Bergen attack, living 20 years thinking she had lost her family. And Poppy...She made it seem like being queen was all cupcakes and rainbows, but she learned that it wasn't, but she knew her kingdom couldn't see her weak...she had to always be strong no matter what she felt. They wanted to tell Velvet that it was okay to be vulnerable sometimes...but how could they? She'd always close them off.
Poppy was headed off to the rooms of the resort that were specifically for Trolls. She had a warm tea in hand to help her calm her nerves and thoughts. That's when Viva came running down the hall.
"Poppy! Hurry come here!"
Without a second thought, Poppy dropped her tea and followed her sister.
Viva lead her outside the door of a suit. Inside, they could hear the sobs, the small little cries. Poppy held her hand over her mouth as her heart broke.
"Who is it?" She asked.
"I....I saw Vellie walk out of her suit. I followed her hoping she'd want to talk. She walked in here...That's when I heard the cries." Viva responded with saddened eyes. The Troll sisters took a moment before making up their mind. Nodding to each other, they pushed open the door that was luckily left slightly open.
The cries grow louder as they walked inside the suit. All lights were off, the only thing illuminating the room was the moonlight shining through the window. The girls followed the sound....That's when they found Velvet hunched in a corner.
She held her knees tight, her face buried in them. Her shoulders shuddered with every cry she made...
"Vels." Poppy whispered as she made her way to the Rageon.
"Go away..." Velvet said in between her cries.
"No! That's enough of you trying to push us away!" Viva said sternly. She made her way up to Velvet's knees, placing a small hand on her fingers. "Talk to us. Please."
"We want to be your friend Velvet. We've wanted to be your friend since you guys arrived to us." Poppy explained.
"I don't want friends."
"Maybe you think so now....but you DO need people who care for you. You have your brother, and we want to be there for you too." Viva said.
Upon the mention of Veneer, Velvet's cries grew severe. Poppy and Viva enclosed around her, laying their hands on her, embracing her as much as they could.
"Velvet....please." Poppy pleaded once more as she embrace the Rageon in her small arms. They allowed silence to pass between them, they allowed Velvet to just be vulnerable....to cry. This was something she had held in for so long...
"He's sick." Velvet finally spoke. "Veneer is sick again....and I don't have the money to help him." The Trolls looked at each other, a horrified expression in their eyes...This is what she had been hiding for so long.
"...I wish you had said something sooner." Viva exclaimed as she continued to hug her.
"Why? There's nothing you can do."
"How do you know? Vellie, you only know your little world, the world inside Rageous. You have no idea how big the world is....and you have no idea how many options there can be to help your brother." Poppy joined Viva on Velvet's knees, together they lifted the Rageons head so she could look at them. "We care for Vennie as much as you do....We want to help you."
"Please, Vellie. We know how it feels like. We know how it feel's to try and have it together! You don't have to go through this alone. Let us be there for you. We got you." Viva added.
Through teary eyes, Velvet glanced back and forth between the two sisters...There was no lie in their voices. She could see they were looking at her not with pity, but with genuine concern. Velvet really never allowed for anyone to see her vulnerable...especially her brother. She always wanted to be the tough one, the strong one...but maybe with these girls she could be. Velvet hugged her knees tighter...
"....okay...." She said softly. No more words were exchanged, no more words needed to be exchanged. Viva and Poppy drew closer to Velvet, this time hugging her face, hoping that she could feel their love and care for her.
They had her.
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restlesschilled · 17 hours
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TMagP 013
Note: As Always, I am a backer so this was written 23 April, 2024 and scheduled to be posted on 25 April, 2024
oh god its another episodes written by Alex
awww thanks odin <3
Im dreading this
PRE STATEMENT/ CASE
OHHH DATE TIME
THE FLIRTING
This is so cute but i cant trust it because alex wrote it
"that you dont know how cute you are" adshfjagdhflakshdf
WERE STARTING WITH THE BIG STUFF
"hi im from an alternate universe"
CELIA IS A MOM
JACK IS HER BABY
"i had a while few years when I first moved here"
IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO CELIA OR JACK I WILL RIOT
HOW DARE
SHES A SINGLE MOM
"that depends on your baggage. DISH"
"they were the first ones that didnt want me" oooooooo\
Alice's Parents are dead good to know
"most pathetic vague post shes ever scene"
"more wine" "please"
LENA OFFICE
GWEN MY POOR BABY
"is it my fault?"
MY POOR PRECIOUS GIRL
"were managing the bad guys" FUCK
CASE
this hold music is a BOP
i had to stop and have my friend explain public school in England to me because that is not the same thing as American public schools
oh lovely a "fiance guy"
a hedge fund guy what i mean is a hedge fund guy
Why in gods name, would you use experimental setting on a hedge fund/ investing app… when you have no idea what it does and it has a shit tone of disclaimers??? i get being desperate but that's just stupid
also the irony of this guy saying hes a good person when hes betting on people failing with hedge funds
do people even steal phones anymore?
i feel like they are not worth all that much and just have to many ways to tack them for it to be worth anything unless you are targeting someone specifically
yeah i figured they might have targeted him
im pretty sure this would qualify as inside trading somehow
betting against your own company and than tanking the company is very illegal
pretty sure betting you'll have a shit time and then making sure you have a shit time would be the same thing
basically this man is committing insurance fraud... but through a hedge fund
it just occurred to me hes calling from the hospital that's what the beeping is
also vertigo mentioned
he was attack by computer bugs lol
shitty "finance guy" gets whats coming to him asmr
post statement
okay i know sam probably mean "be professional" like stop with the flirting
BUT WHEN YOU SAY IT LIKE THAT I SOUND LIKE YALL HAVE BEEN HOOKING UP AFTER WORK SOMETIMES.
HAVE YALL BEEN HOOKING UP?
this is how i choose to interpret this this is my new head canon( it was already kinda my head canon)
But if you ever ask me to be professional again, I'm going to have to take a shit on your desk." ALICE
"you signed the official secrets act in your onboarding. And I know all your school friends say treason's 'bussin'' and 'fire', but it won't look good on your CV." i love her so much
"its fine when I say it"
this episode really said fuck capitalism didn't it
also do week need to talk about the fact that celia's son is named Jack Ripley like jack the ripper
WAIT A SECOND JACK IS A NICKNAME FOR JOHN/JON
DID SHE NAME HER SON AFTER JON?
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girlcrushau · 1 month
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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aamezish · 6 months
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.
#this girl was joking about another girl in my batch fasting on karvachauth for her boyfriend and it was the light jokes so it was okay#but then she said why is she doing it her caste is completely different from his her parents would kill her#and that how college relationships are only for time being until you're in college and you're there for each other's support#and that nothing in college couples is that serious and they may turn out just good friends in future#and there's no reason to worship your love because it's just 'casual'??!!#ive so many feelings and a little heartbreak#ive already tried thinking about future but you know it 2ould just spiral me and thinking tha ahead doesn't make sense know#logically speaking she's right that we can go through SO MANY changes during the college years and no one knows anything ahead#but idk like i love him its not just oh im in college and ive got a boyfriend to get my nights busier and go on silly pretend dates#i didn't date anyone for nineteen years because i just wouldn't date anyone#its just surprising me as well how i came here so clueless and how everything led to each other and then into us#and i don't say stuff like marriage and kids because that's too huge. just too huge right now to think off#and that's also a way of keeping myself humble#and i would love love love to think about a future too not just yet it's too quick and im okay understanding everything rather than diving#but what she said. is so um its messing with my brain#ofc im not letting it over weigh me not at least from a person who's with multiple seniors#sends all her money to her so called youtuber bf#and goes to private places with some other guy#who's in everything for casual#but i don't know what im supposed to do with it right now#playing around my head#or maybe i should just trust the process
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hella1975 · 1 year
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im being so serious besties i am not cut out for academia
#like yes i know ive had a very uniquely shit experience in doing a degree i actively not only hate but also am BAD AT#but also i just. cannot hack it#'but hella you go mental and pessimistic every single exam period' i know that but. im right also#like the other day i said to my mum how much ive just been enjoying my job recently#and how huge a deal that is bc i HATE my hometown and ive never ever considered my time here as possibly being good#and my 20s will hopefully be a lot of travelling but in between that to save easier im gonna live at home#so i dont have to worry about rent so alas that means when im saving up for my next trip I WILL BE IN MY HOMETOWN#and as excited as i am for my twenties that is one huge downside to me but i was really cheerfully saying to my mum#that literally for the first time ever ive considered it might not be too bad bc lately i have just enjoyed my job#like i enjoy the people and the work and the lifestyle of it and while it's never gonna be ideal as a means to an end it's actually good#and instead of focussing on that she went OFF on one about how she wants me to stay in education and keep getting qualifications#and she was like 'you could do an english degree you've always wanted to do english or how about open university-'#and i was just sat there blinking at her like girl.... no#like i could FEEL myself shutting down like the terror of having to return to this environment when ive got my sight so set#on that 'one more year and im done one more year and im done' mindset like that has been the only thing getting my through#is that im halfway through the course now so im closer to the other end than i am the beginning and if i can just push through#ill be free from it for the rest of my life. so the thought of immediately returning to academia even for a subject i adore? i felt ILL#and my mum apologised the next day without me even having to say anything bc she realised she kinda bulldozed me there#but i just know whether it's the adhd or ive actually been traumatised by this econ degree#(<- and im being serious there like ik 'traumatised' is a big loaded word but idk what else to use#and this degree has done so so much damage to me like it has convinced me that i am fundamentally a stupid person#to the point i refuse to add up bills when with friends or do answer any sort of intellectual question even if i KNOW i know the answer#bc ive just gone so so long of being bad at the only subject im studying like just SURROUNDED by it and being bad at it relentlessly#and i dont think people realise how damaging it is to very simply just... feel stupid all the time. but oh my god i used to be so confident#and bright and now i wont even do basic addition in front of people)#i really truly dont think i can do this again in any capacity. like the constant exams and studying and assignments#i just cant do it. maybe i just need a year or two away from it after this degree but my goddddd rn i cant see it#yes it's exam time for me can u tell. it always makes me existential and on the verge of vomiting at any given moment#i hate it here i hate it here i hate it here i dont care about iterated deletion of strictly dominated strategies shut the fuck up#hella goes to uni
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comradecowplant · 1 month
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so things are not going well with my new elderly socdem friend unfortunately.
#she said this RIGHT after talking about how bad yt misinfo is... which she followed up w SO I WAS WATCHING A YT DOC ABOUT WW2 & LEARNED THIS#youtube 'historians' are literally the most fascist breed of youtuber. avoid the vast majority like the plague lmao#i asked if the video was sourcing the hollow dahmer & the black book of communism & she didnt seem to know what those are lol#to her credit i told her straight up that she was incorrect & she at least faked being curious about doing more research but i am doubting#she also 'learned' that lenin killed trotsky lol get your propaganda right lenin was dead by then STALIN icepicked him <3#anyway im making jokes bc the worst part was a different conversation where she spoke positively of israel#THAT'S gonna be the one to ruin our friendship. fuck you & your war tourist friend who fought in the 1960s landgrabs that youre now#telling me as if this is a cute story. nahhhh lmao i looked her straight in the eye & said i will NOT debate this#so she dropped it like the true enlightened centrist most socdem cowards are and i kept cleaning her house quietly#turns out You & Me We're the Only Ones Around Here Who Aren't Complete Fools was premature *kicks the poorly rendered gravel sadly*#shes otherwise a nice lady & i know i need to be more flexible in order to hopefully change ppls minds...#but also when people say awful & untrue things it makes me not want to talk to you 🤷‍♂️ srry 2 b a freak like that#also i know shes not transphobic but i havent sniffed her out well enough to know if shes safe to come out to#so its hours of misgendering (which isnt her fault she doesnt know) bc shes obsessed with neoliberal feminism and inappropriately brings#gender into conversations that it does not belong in#'did you know all the countries that handled covid best were ran by women?' 1) untrue 2) dont care finland still sucks#she also tried to tell me that european rich people learned to be nicer after the french rev & thats why europe is better than america...#girl shut up we learned how to be so good at racism and capitalism BECAUSE of europe. there is no such thing as a good rich person!!!#i pick my battles (genocide & anticommunist genocide revisionism) so i let her cook w that one & was not left convinced as you can imagine#ANYWAY rant about today's weird day done. gonna smoke weed & rim some skies 🥵 while listening to the Khrushchev Lied audiobook i found 😘
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saturnsuv · 1 year
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update <3
#in case anyone remembers the saga about the guy i’d been talking to for like a week then made out with then he promptly ghosted me despite#having given one of those ‘even if it doesnt work out i still want to be friends’ claims and all my additional choosing insanity over it#well. finally got one of my friends to go to the restaurant he works at with me#also keep in mind that that stuff happened in like november we literally havent spoken in months i am just choosing to continue being#insane bc i think i deserve to#anyway. so my friend and i go to the restaurant and unfortunately he isnt there#but before we leave i ask the waitress hey um do you happen to have a coworker named [redacted]#and she was like oh yeah is he a friend of yours? :) and my friend says no. and i say …. i know him#waitress can tell that i dont mean i know him in a good way too. she laughs and says it seems like theres a story here but she doesnt ask#anything further. instead she proceeds to tell me his fucking work schedule ajdjsjjfkf#she was like yeah he worked this morning he usually works thursday mornings then all weekend :)#so shes my new hero#idk if this guy has also gotten himself on bad terms with her or if she just knows what hes like or if she just understood the implication#of an irritated girl coming in asking after a guy bc she ‘knows him’#but she rly understood the assignment. anyway im in love with her now <3#OMG i almost forgot the best part. after telling me this she asks do you want me to give him a message and i saw yes i sure would. tell him#sam said hi :)#anyway i will be dragging my friend back there with me at the end of the month on a weekend to continue antagonizing this specific asshole#sam speaks
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bloggirl8842 · 7 months
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My psych says I don’t like my mom or my ex because they make me vulnerable but I think it’s because they are/were both serial boundary violators. Well serial boundary violators sounds serious but I mean they are just good kind people who would not leave me alone when i ask(ed)
#i mean so am i so i dont exactly blame them but like. my mom doesnt knock used to hold me down and epilate my body doesnt take no for an#answer ever on anything unless youre MEAN to her and i dont mean anything serious i mean she asked me to go to the store with her to pick#out paint for her walls i said no she asked again i said no she asked again i said no so she went on her own and facetimed me so id help her#pick. my ex had a similar thing where if i was like hey lets not talk tomorrow im burnt out hed be like okay and then the next day early#morning he’d send a good morning text and then several more throughout the day and then we’d call at the end of the night#people do who not let you fucking breathe. i hate it. if i saw my mom less often id probably like her but her so much as sitting next to me#on the couch will have me tense and pissed. she also takes glee in hating things i like and its not a conscious or serious thing but its#really weird. ive done the same for her since i was little i dont know who did it first. like ok we’re moving our new place had wallpaper in#my room i wanted to keep it she wanted to remove it she agreed to keep it and then made plans to remove it bc she was going to get rid of it#at some point later on anyway for the house’s value or something. they removed it recently and she showed me a vid of the place and when she#gets to my room shes like hehehe its goneee like girl what the fuck is going on with you. she wouldnt let me change the decoration of my#room as a child it had to be the way she liked it. even my body had to be the way she liked it dude the epilation thing shed laugh as i#cried (in a shirt and underwear man) bc i was finally hairless. my ex was nowhere near that bad but again ZERO breathing room and whenever#id try to take some hed be like ‘’i just worry that if you take this space you’ll come back and break up with me’’ uh. yeah with that#attitude the breakup’s coming either way. he’s a good guy though just 24 and a man (both sad afflictions) he’ll shape up. or not. idk im no#t invested#he did listen to a lot of what i said just not the basic things of ‘’leave me the fuck alone sometimes’m#im annoyed that my therapist framed this as a me issue but shes right when it comes to me having trouble w vulnerability and i should just#clarify my pov here so she can change her assessment#my ex leaves me alone now. he does a great job at it i thiiink hes moved on which im happy about#i dont know if id ever want to be friends again though idk if either of us can do that#i cant. rn#i understand why he wanted so much from me though. i get it
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bukuoshin · 1 year
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Clowns are the purest expression of God's love for humanity and this Earth and its creatures, so jot that down real quick.
#rae rants#for the folks with coulrophobia (insert morshu flipping off image here)#this girl i had a job with in 2019 has it and. shes always been a little weird in a specific way that does not mesh with me--#like ive never been. just incompatible with some1 before; theres no reason why. i just do not like her.#but hating clowns is where i draw the line.#for reference. cuz idt ive brought i up in a while. my grandpa was a shriner (despite me being poor my whole life?)#so we went to the shriner circus a lot when i was a kid. and like. the clowns knew me. i would go up w my lil clown yearbook and theyd go#'oh bukus here. lets sign your little book. i like your dress; wanna hold a baby grizzly bear? lets take you to hold the grizzly bear.'#... they should not have had a grizzly bear or elephants. one year they had a kangaroo boxing and not the next so like.#i can imagine what happened with the kangaroo. why do they teach those things to fight humans then go 'oh no! its fighting humans!'#but. point is. clowns were the only good thing in my life until i was like 9 when we quit going. and then i wasnt happy again until 2013.#... for reference. i am not a christian. and do not believe in a capital G 'God'.#but the fact that i know abt the clown ministries (and that a lot of clowns are like. devout christians) paired w the only person i know#who hates clowns being the single most christian person in my current life (the lances moved; there is no longer a christian cult at the#end of my block) is so strange to me. like. theyre christian. youre christian. they like you (clowns love everyone) shouldnt you like them?#so as a result. my clown propoganda has gotten a christian twist for some reason??? and i said this to jay last night and he said im crazy.
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I got told today
"You better not be a lesbian because you have horrible taste in woman"
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mrbingley · 2 years
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finally got offered a job! as an apprentice tree climber. it pays very well, actually! and i think i’d have fun climbing and pruning trees but i worry i don’t have the stamina to keep up b/c it’s typically a ten to eleven hr work day and almost entirely all strong men. but! i don’t know! it’s a job! and i haven’t found anything else. i’m going to stop by all the local knitting/yarn stores in my area to see if any of them are hiring and what their pay would be. and if they aren’t hiring or if the pay isn’t enough, i guess i’ve gotta bite the bullet and start climbing trees.
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today is the first time in like forever that i kept my hair open for the whole day without hating them by the end of the day and they're so soft and i tried on dark maroon purple lipstick yesterday with my bestfriend and she was like whoa. you look like. hot. and Mature. and i told her i love her because i kept using pink because it's cute pretty girly and i wanna feel pretty but it didn't really suit me but this this dark shade it's perfect i feel so confident and sexy and i hung out with my cousin little sister rn we used to be closest bestfriends but we drifted apart because of papa-chachu drama in childhood but
#she came over and she was like i don't have company to smoke with come on smoke with me#and i was like aaah okay#and she's so cute she's like okay have this vape after the cig to like remove the bad taste#and i gave her change for auto cause she didn't have any and she was like ill pay you back and i was like girl please shut up#choti behen hai meri itna toh kar hi sakti hu and she laughed and was lke arre aise hai fir toh main itne mein nahi maanungi aur do#so i was like bade hoke pakka abhi itni hi aukat hai#it's nice i feel happy#i also leaned my head on my office wali senior ka shoulder cause i was superrrr sleepyyyy today#only for like a minute but she was like aww are you sleepy it's okay so ja i understand this and she patted my head gently#like you know side face pe they pat🥺🥺🥺0#and like i was like do you need help what do i do when she was working and she was like kuch nahi i just need you to sit here next to me#and keep chattering#it's so 🥺🥺🥺#like this is big okay she's kinda very cool and smart and like real focused and serious okay she doesn't like disturbances#and i love her brain i want to be curious and sorted like her i love the way she understands things slowly but completely#like just work wise i aspire to be her everyone gets so impressed by her i do too the sir was like {her name} ko ab bank audit acche se aa#gaya hai ab wo apne aap bhi kar sakfi hai sign kar sakti hai#WHICH IS SOOOOOO COOL like bhai he's a very good ca okay crazy intelligent and to have him say that. just wow#and i was whining to her ki everyone sucks my relatives suck nobody even appreciates that im killing myself trying to make a career here#all my mami cares about is that why couldn't i take ek din ki leave and show up at her fucking dance practice😭😭#so she was like aww it's okay leave them ill say it you're doing very good {my real name} im proud of you#i literally said awww thank you out loud itna sweet tha na#wow a happy vent post this is a first
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