#she was raised completely outside of her father's plots and genuinely loves him and her job and the kids in her care | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

rvsecolors · 2 years

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❃ ↷ ˊ- pelican town is all abuzz about YANG HANEUL, our resident 28-year old TEACHER. you know, the one who looks like BYUN BAEKHYUN? i don’t see it, but maybe that’s just because they remind me of A COLLECTION OF NOTEBOOKS FILLED FROM FRONT TO BACK, THE FAINT WHISPERS FROM THE FOREST CALLING YOU HOME, AND WARM LAUGHTER FILLING THE AIR BETWEEN GOOD COMPANY every time i see them at PELICAN PRIMARY SCHOOL. word around town is that they’re increasingly GREGARIOUS and POLISHED, but can get rather LABYRINTHINE. hope to see them around the valley soon!

ღ hello it is KLEE ( she/they, 21+, est ), coming at you live to introduce HANEUL, aka every mom’s ideal son-in-law with the unfortunate case of flighty behaviour ! he’s a recycled & reissued muse from years ago that i’d like to bring back to life and i feel that stardew is the perfect place for me to present the new version of him. under the cut you’ll find all the info you may possibly need on him ! if you’d like to plot, please hit the heart & i’ll reach out as soon as i can ! ( discord is available upon asking ! )

☁️ BACKGROUND ⸻

read his profile HERE !

TL;DR ⸻ this is the story of how a young man has decided to follow in the footsteps of his absent father, allowing the winds to guide him to his fated destination — wherever that may be. while he’s convinced that he cannot stay in one place for too long, he finds himself back to the only home he’s ever known to take care of his mother. maybe, just maybe, he will get off the rollercoaster ride he’s been on for the past couple of years and settle down like his mother wants him to.

TRIGGER / CONTENT WARNING ⸻ his backstory involves infidelity regarding his parents ( namely his father ).

28, scorpio sun / cancer moon / taurus rising, he / they, born & raised in pelican town.

another stardew valley native, but he was able to leave the small town once he graduated high school and travel for a majority of his young adulthood and see the world’s beauty as it is.

his family has been situated in pelican for three generations before he was born, and none of them ( except one ! ) had ever left for many different reasons. not that breaking tradition was really ever his intention, he’s known since he was a child that he would leave to see the world and come back with stories to tell.

he likes to think that his love for traveling comes from his father. the man wasn’t a local like his mother’s side of the family, and was constantly on the move. rather than having any memories with his dad as a child, he has memorabilia of all the places the man has visited with accompanying letters detailing his travels.

for a time, he never thought anything was weird with the absence of his father. the man was constantly communicating with their family, so he genuinely believed that the situation was completely normal. his father never acted out of character, as far as his mother could recall, so the both of them never expected he was doing anything wrong.

with the love of his parents flowing within him, he becomes known as the energetic, magnetic child with the brightest smile you have ever seen. he develops a strong reputation among the older folk around the town as the ideal son, who’s not only good in school, but popular and cute to boot too. his mother, ever the social butterfly, speaking so highly of him among her friends only amplifies it tenfold.

it comes to no one’s surprise that he chooses to study outside of stardew valley when he graduates high school. all his life he had always spoken of seeing the world, and it starts with getting out of the small town with zero regrets. his parents respect his decision and his father plays a big part in haneul’s transition from the small town to the busy city life of seoul.

after graduating, he begins to follow his father’s steps and travels to as many places as he could. he only comes back to pelican town for holidays or his mothers birthday, but only stayed for about three days before going away again. no matter how far he would go, he always promised he’d come home eventually which not only warmed his mom’s reluctant heart, but also the hearts of everyone she tells.

[ CONTENT WARNING START ] he finds out the real reason his father is away when he starts working for his company as a journalist. doesn’t necessarily explain to anyone that he’s his son, so he’s surprised when he meets another woman introducing herself as his father’s wife at the company a couple months into the job. he’s side-eyeing his father, who can’t seem to meet his eyes, before heading back out towards his next project.

he tells his mother immediately, heart stopped until he can get all of his words out in a panic. she can only laugh pitifully, explaining that she had an inkling of a feeling all along but didn’t want to ruin the fantasy of them in her mind. the confirmation starts her descending spiral into heartbreak full-force, and although she puts on a strong front in front of others and himself, he can’t help but feel guilty for confirming her worst nightmare for her. [ CONTENT WARNING END ]

he continues working for his father, who gives them whatever they want out of a guilty conscience. haneul milks the opportunity for what it’s worth, taking and taking from a man he used to idolize as petty revenge. he swears he doesn’t want to end up like his father, but he fears the idea so much that he swears off love altogether — he can never be hurt or hurt anyone if he never gives himself to anyone, right? ( wrong, he knows, but delusion has already settled ).

the last nail in the coffin that completely ruins any chance of his father regaining angel wings in his son’s eyes, not that he even had a slim one at that, was the discovery of another child from a completely different relationship that even the old man couldn’t remember. they came searching for him ‘as the last attempt of feeling like they had a family’, only to be told by his father that he had no room for them. haneul offers his hand to take them away to stardew valley, where he and his mom can take care of them until they feel like being elsewhere. [ wanted connection will eventually be issued ]

although he’s adamant about the fact that he is a man who can’t stay in one place for too long, he finds himself immediately rushing back to pelican town upon hearing the news that his mother was falling ill. he dropped everything a little over a year ago to be by her side, and finally picked up a teaching job ( putting his degree to good use for once… ) so he could support and take care of her better.

he’s itching to get back out of the town, but not until he ensures that his mother and newly-discovered sibling is safe — regardless of how long it takes. don’t get him wrong, he loves his job ! he’s always been gentle with children and the idea of shaping the next generation has always been an exciting idea, he wanted to live out his youth more and see more while he still can.

there’s no doubt that the reputation he has proceeds him, as it’s been a good few years since anyone has seen him long enough to decipher what he’s really like as a person. not that he really has anything to hide, but he reveals nothing about himself and more about the world around him. perhaps that’s about half of what makes him so interesting.

but maybe it’s time to really settle down and let his life slow down a bit… who knows?

although he is a wanderer, seemingly having no ties to anyone or anything, he has a very big heart that cares a little too much. it’s hard to admit, but he does always feel bad for up and leaving so quickly sometimes, unable to stay longer than he should. he has a firm belief that if he stays in one place for too long, he will never want to leave … which is why he is so troubled with staying longer in pelican town.

he knows all the ins-and-outs, and wants to explore new places, but he’s fallen into routine already and the idea of leaving after staying for so long seems difficult. it’s not like he really shows it, but the feeling of guilt lingers inside.

☁️ SCUFFED PLOT IDEAS ⸻

the classic & dependable best friend, the yin to his yang. definitely the person who knows him best, and sometimes better than he knows himself. they’ve stayed so close despite the fact he’s barely home, now where would he be without them?

perhaps friends he’s met on his travels? he’s been to a lot of places in a span of a couple years, so he’s not as surprised to see familiar faces in his hometown. on the bright side, they will have a personal tour guide if needed !

childhood friends and/or friends who grew apart? since 2011 up until late 2020 he has never stayed home for more than three years, and while he tries to make time for old friends who’ve decided to stay in pelican town all this time, it’s normal for friends to grow apart. maybe they can reconcile and become close again? or are they too different from their memories?

perhaps some exes or, more accurately, ex-flings / ex-somethings? he’s a wanderer with little to no ties, so how could he be expected to keep a lover? try as he might, he knows unless they come on his travels with him, there’s no way a relationship can be maintained without the tribulations that long-distance brings … which is why he would rather avoid any to begin with.

he’s an adult and it’s not uncommon for him to have a fwb or one night stands, and he prefers it this way for the most part. no strings attached is exactly what he thinks he needs.

the idea of pseudo-little siblings is so cute !! he’s a bit older than most of the muses, and he surprisingly has a lot of love to give to those younger than him who see him as some sort of older brother figure. he’s an only child, and has always wanted siblings, so prepared to be spoiled rotten if he adopts you as a sibling !

frenemies or enemies … perhaps someone who knows he’s not all that older locals say he is? after all, how is someone who always leaves seemingly without a care in the world for everyone else’s feelings a good person? under all the excitement of hearing all about his travels, the selfish act slips under the rug and its about time someone mentions it.

friends with lingering feelings aaaaaa. he knows his limits ! he doesn’t want to fall in love, and is doing his best to not let a ‘small crush’ develop into smth more, yet… something about them is so intriguing to him, and he wants to know more and more, little by little.

other ideas: younger muses in school that he can tutor ! he will always put time aside to help anyone with school. neighbors, strangers-who-keep-meeting-for-some-reason, friends of friends, family friends, and pen pals would be interesting dynamics too ! i’m definitely up for brainstorming if nothing immediately clicks.

#stardewtm:intro #i. ╱ 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙙𝙪𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 .#tw infidelity #unfortunately i made his already long bg EVEN LONGER !

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9worldstales · 3 years

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MCU Loki: Why I fear they failed to deliver what they promised

At this point I’m kind of confused by who the “Loki” series is trying to reach or which is the goal/message they’re trying to pass along.

They had tried to intrigue assorted audience but, if you ask me, the series has often failed to deliver what it seemed to promise.

Of course I might be wrong. Or maybe I'm not seeing another type of audience the series aimed and managed to reach.

When the series started I wanted to keep a positive mentality and hope whatever seemed not to work would be fixed along the way or have a reason for existing that I just wasn't seeing because I hadn't seen the full story yet.

However, after 5 episodes I'm starting to lose hope the series will make a genuine effort to reach the fans at whom it seemed to aim.

PART 1 – “LOKI” IS NOT FOR THE OLD FANS WHO PRODUCED META SHOWING HOW HIS TRAUMA DAMAGED HIM

"I think it's the struggle with identity, who you are, who you want to be. I'm really drawn to characters who are fighting for control. Certainly you see that with Loki over the first 10 years of movies, he's out of control at pivotal parts of his life, he was adopted and everything and that manifest itself through anger and spite towards his family." [Loki's Struggle With His Identity Confirmed To Be A Focus Of His Disney+ Series]

What was it about Loki as a character that attracted you? He’s just fun, for one. He has a very playful sense of humor about him. I like how he never quite lets you know what he’s thinking. Beyond that, what I connect to about him is the same thing the legions of fans do, which is his humanity and his vulnerability. This is a guy who—yes, on the one hand, he was the prince of Asgard, seems like a nice life—but his father, in fact, killed his actual birth father, adopted him, lied to him about his heritage and parentage his entire life, he was forced to live in the shadow of his oafish older brother who was born to be king. He’s experienced a lot of trauma, and I think that what he’s looking for is just a little bit of control over his life. Which he feels like maybe he’s never quite had. That’s something I think we can all relate with. [From Loki to Doctor Strange and Star Wars, Michael Waldron Is the New Franchise Whisperer]

Let’s be honest, the audience for the “Loki” series is not really meant to be Marvel movies old time fans who enjoyed “Thor” and “The Avengers”, made countless Meta analyzing Loki’s behaviour and who wanted answers about what happened to Loki prior to “The Avengers” or wanted to see Loki’s family terrible dynamics be discussed, or at least to see explored the wrong dynamics of Loki’s interracial adoption (he’s taken away from his planet, the truth is hidden from him, his look is changed to disguise him as an Asgardian, nothing is done against the racial hate for the Jotuns at which Loki is exposed, even witnessing it from his brother) or talk how much in control of himself Loki was during “The Avengers” (okay, the web said the sceptre manipulated Loki, but what about acknowledging that in his own series? It doesn’t have to come from Loki who had no idea he was manipulated but someone could mention ‘think yourself lucky here the stones don’t work, they’ve the nasty tendency to manipulate people’).

The series has avoided digging into all that as much as they could.

Even when Loki talks with Sylvie, the most we get is a small big about how Frigga was awesome in his eyes and taught him magic, but this isn’t meant to explain any of the issues Loki had with his family, it just make Sylvie feel bad because she can’t remember her adoptive mother, as for the D.B. Cooper born out of a bet with Thor, yeah, fun but completely random. What’s meant to be the message about family dynamics here, that it was the bets between Thor and Loki that caused Loki to decide to conquer Earth? Or what about the Sif loop? Is it there to push on Loki the blame of his poor relation with Sif?

No, clearly not.

In regard to Loki the Frigga flashback is there to remark he had a loving and supportive family while the other two are there to have Loki admit he is ‘a mischievous scamp’, ‘a horrible person’ and ‘a narcissist’.

To put it in Classic Loki’s words: ‘Damn it! Animals, animals! We lie and we cheat, we cut the throat of every person who trusts us, and for what? Power. Glorious power. Glorious purpose! We cannot change. We're broken, every version of us. Forever. And whenever one of us dares try to fix themselves, they're sent here to die.’

In short it’s all Loki’s fault if he does bad, nothing happened to him that could have messed him up, he’s just a horrible person… however…

PART 2 – “LOKI” IS NOT FOR THE OLD AND NEW FANS WHO BELIEVED LOKI TO BE A DANGEROUS, EVIL, PSYCHOPATH VILLAIN EITHER

"Loki is an a**, and that makes my life as a writer, easy." ... "Due to the trauma in Loki’s life, I would even [accept a story] in which he is committed to being all bad." [Michael Waldron on Loki: He’s an a**. That makes things easy]

Considering the series is trying to pin SOLELY on Loki his wrongdoing, completely skipping the toxic way in which he was raised you might think they want to paint him as an evil, psychopath who was just born bad.

But no, that’s not the intention, we see it from the start.

Loki is given a quick briefing on how his beloved family loved him despite him hurting them, a briefing that contains false information which would work if we accept the briefing as manipulative but, at this point I’m not so sure that was the author’s intent. The Doylist purpose of the briefing is clearly to show the audience how Loki cares for his family, how he still has feelings, feels pain at the idea Frigga and Odin died and wish to make up with his brother.

It’s not just they loved him and did nothing wrong toward him, it’s also he who loved them and didn’t mean to harm them. That’s why we’re fed that damn discourse about Loki sending the Dark Elves to kill Frigga, because the series wants to remark that no, Loki didn’t want to kill his family, he loved them.

Tom Hiddleston used to say what Loki is came from a place of pain but the series didn’t explore that place of pain… it just gave him more pain and not just in episode 1. Episode 2 has him discovering Asgard is destroyed, episode 3 has him remembering Frigga, episode 4 shows him believing Sylvie die and watching Mobius being pruned. He doesn’t cry in Ep 5, episode 5 wants us to truly feel bad for Sylvie, not for him, but there’s a lot of bitterness from Classic Loki who commits a heroic suicide so you might say we get a sad Loki anyway.

And this also works as a shock to make him change his mind about his ‘glorious purposes’. Sorta, with Thor reminding us he’s not so bad and Loki explaining his behaviour as “I don't enjoy hurting people. I... I don't enjoy it. I do it because I have to, because I've had to. Because it's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear.”

Plot-wise, this is completely useless.

The show will prove Sylvie is not Loki and has completely different motivations and Mobius, being an expert in Variants, should know.

What’s more why would Mobius care if Loki enjoys hurting people or not?

His goal is to capture Sylvie with Loki’s help. The most he should care about is how to keep Loki loyal to him, not if Loki has fun hurting people or not which, in fact, is a knowledge that won’t be used in his investigation.

No, this is here for the viewers, to tell them Loki isn’t a sadistic, evil villain, he’s someone weak who tries to scare others so as not to look weak. As Mobius will put in ‘a scared little boy, shivering in the cold’ who has an ‘insecure need for validation’.

What’s more?

The show will try his hardest to establish he’s not even competent.

Let’s talk of him as a fighter.

In the movies Loki is a competent fighter and side material establish he’s pretty strong, definitely much more than a human.

In “The Avengers” we see Captain America needs Iron Man’s help to beat him and, anyway, Loki’s plan was to be captured. Loki manages to walk away on his feet when Coulson hits him with that superspecial weapon and it’ll take him to be Hulk smashed after a fight with Thor and a meeting with an explosive arrow of Hawkeye before he can’t fight any longer.

This doesn’t happen in the “Loki” series.

Loki gets beaten up by various people in 4 episodes, preferably women (B-15, the people possessed by Sylvie, the guards on the train, Sif). You might say in episode 5 he’s not but actually Classic Loki is the one who gets swallowed by Alioth and our Loki instead survives because he has Sylvie supporting him as, on his own he couldn’t even distract Alioth.

Let’s talk of him as a wizard.

He can use magic, impressive magic but… it serves him mostly nothing. In the TVA his magic doesn’t work. Outside of it is mostly useless. It doesn’t help win fights. The Tempad he caused to disappear gets broken. To beat Alioth they needs enchantment, not his own magic. What’s more, when they’ve to go on the train his disguise wouldn’t have worked without Sylvie’s enchantment and, if this wasn’t enough, he got drunk, removed the disguise and wasn’t even able to make tickets appear.

Classic Loki too, with his impressive illusions is ultimately a distraction. Alioth tears easily through his illusions which aren’t even solid.

Let’s talk of him as a planner.

All Loki will accomplish is to escape from the Time theatre for a brief period in episode 1 and figure out Sylvie hides in apocalypses in episode 2. The rest of his plans fails or are not plan or are mocked over and not even put into practice.

Let’s talk about him as a manipulator with a silver tongue.

He can’t even persuade Mobius when he’s telling him the truth, Mobius dismisses it as a lie due to ‘cockroach's survival mechanism’.

And psychologically?

He’s just someone who crave attention because he’s a narcissist scared of being alone. Not a psychopath.

Loki is not meant to be a dangerous, evil, psychopath villain in this series, he’s a not serious man, a clown, a scared little boy in need of attention, a narcissist who needs to be loved.

Welcome to cartoon villain Loki, this Loki isn’t the Variant of “The Avengers” Loki, he’s the Variant of “Avengers Assemble”Loki… only he’s even less competent than him.

PART 3 – “LOKI” IS NOT EVEN HERE FOR GENERAL MARVEL MOVIE FANS

"That's a lot of Infinity Stones. That's true but they are useless there in the TVA, so I don't know. Is that gun loaded or not? We'll see..." [Loki Writer Comments On Whether TVA’s Infinity Stones Will Return In MCU]

“We had to create an insane institutional knowledge of how time travel would work within the TVA so the audience never has to think about it again. It was a lot of drawings of squiggly timelines.” Marvel already made its case for how time travel works in Avengers: Endgame, but that, Waldron points out, “is the way the Avengers understand it.” With a TV show it’s a little different. “I was always very acutely aware of the fact that there’s a week between each of our episodes and these fans are going to do exactly what I would do, which is pick this apart. We wanted to create a time-travel logic that was so airtight it could sustain over six hours. There’s some time-travel sci-fi concepts here that I’m eager for my Rick and Morty colleagues to see.” [How the Man Behind LokiIs Shaping Marvel’s Phase 4 and Beyond]

BC: The TVA is there to clean everybody up? MW: Yeah, Avengers: Endgame… that's how The Avengers understand time travel. 'Loki,' episode one, is how the TVA explains time travel to Loki and we're certainly building on what's come before us. [Loki: Michael Waldron On Gender Fluidity, Mephisto, Time Travel & More]

It’s true “Loki” is focusing on a new corner of the MCU but it interconnects very poorly with the movies before it.

Although Loki escaped with the Tesseract... it just dismisses completely the Infinity Stones.

Despite talking a lot about timelines and creating branching realities it waved away the whole plot of "Avengers: Endgame" as apparently supposed to happen even though it should have created branching realities.

We see Renslayer wave away how the Avengers went in the past causing the Tesseract to end up in Loki’s hands... and all the other things the Avengers did that affected the past goes unmentioned.

Bruce meeting the Ancient, Thor meeting his mother and taking away Thor’s hammer, Rocket being seen as he steals the reality stone from Jane, Tony stealing a suitcase and damaging the place in which the Tesseract was kept then meeting Howard Stark, 4 flacons of Pyn particles missing, an alarm given to the military bases, how Steve managed to bring back the sceptre if that timeline was pruned, how a timeline handled being without Thanos and Co as they went in the future or how they clearly didn’t bring the orb back the second they took it as Nebula remained unconscious there and nobody came and when she woke up Thanos could get her. It didn’t even explain why Steve remaining with Peggy didn’t change anything.

It's not that the audience has all explained... it's that they were told to dismiss it as 'meant to happen' and that was it.

What's more, the TVA apparently didn't list a finger to stop 2014 Thanos from going in the future and causing Tony Stark's death.

As if this wasn't enough, “Loki” just skips any possible connection with the movies, even hands Loki false information about them (he lead the Dark Elves to his mother when Loki had no idea the Kurse was a Dark Elf and they would have found her anyway as they were searching for the Aether which Malekith could sense, he’s born solely to cause pain and suffering and death, overlooks how he saved Jane twice or helped the Asgardian escape Hela) and never discusses them again.

Even with Classic Loki, who’s a Variant of “Avengers: Infinity War” Loki, they don’t talk about what happened after Loki’s supposed dead, apparently hinting it was better if he died, nor explain how Loki knew Thor survived.

PART 4 – “LOKI” IS NOT REALLY OFFERING A GOOD REPRESENTATION FOR FEMALES EVEN THOUGH IT CLEARLY AIMS AT FEMALE AUDIENCE

Let’s make a quick experiment.

Everyone, let’s name all the characters we remember which appeared in more than 1 episode of “Loki” for more than one minute.

We’ve, of course, Loki, Mobius, B-15, Renslayer, Sylvie, C-20 and Miss Minute.

5 females versus 2 males.

What’s more, females are not sexualized, they remains completely dressed, they’re clearly not there to attract male gazes, they’re represented as strong, dangerous, in control, something archived often by showing them beating males either physically or intellectually or in rank.

It seems promising. At first.

Is there someone who’s sexualized?

The “Loki” series takes care to offer us Tom Hiddleston naked.

So since there’s an abundance of females in the cast and Tom Hiddleston is shown naked is it aiming at a female audience?

Very, very likely but… but how’s then handled all this?

When Loki is seen undressed he’s not in a situation of power, like Thor who’s twice shows half naked in his movies but because he’s changing/washing and perfectly comfortable in showing his body and once in a situation which could be a male forbidden fantasy, to have many women massage your naked body, no, he’s shown as he’s powerless while being stripped by a machine. Clearly not a male power fantasy, more like a male nightmare.

And, in a totally not surprising way, pictures of this scene were spread by many female fans because it was aimed at them… though a part of them, was also honestly appalled at seeing this scene in contest, finding the forced stripping humiliating and degrading.

Sure, a naked Tom Hiddleston makes a nice eye-candy but this wasn’t how Loki’s many fans wanted to see Loki naked.

But let’s talk of female representation here, since the show seems to be interested in female audience… only who even though this was the representation women wanted doesn’t understand much of women representation in the first place.

Why?

For start because women here are all the same type of woman.

Strong fighters who’re in control and confident, with no real characterization beyond this to speak of despite the large amount of screen time.

Renslayer is an ex-hunter who can fight one on one against Sylvie and who clearly has the position of power she has because she was good as a hunter and shows her abilities in fighting after that Sylvie had beaten 2 guards at the same time. B-15 is introduced by beating Loki and is the commander of a squad. C-20 is another commander and, albeit possessed, can dispose of a part of her squad members.

Do I need to spend words on how Sylvie is depicted as this awesome fighter who has learnt to fight by herself, can keep at bay more than 1 Minuteman, can use a sword, has learnt enchantment on her own and is feared by all the TVA? Do I?

And it’s awesome to have women who are strong fighters in positions of command/power/control… but why women has to be represented as just that?

Even when they add a female as an one episode cameo, it's Sif, beating the hell out of Loki. And what about the Lady in Lamentis 1 who was too old to be strong but managed to blast away both Loki and Sylvie seeing through their deceptions?

Even the harmless Miss Minute can avoid being hit by Loki and gets she has to pretend to do researches to stall Sylvie and save Renslayer.

Women kick asses here… but that’s all they’re good for.

And so we get to Sylvie, who is the superior Loki Variant… because she’s female.

Kid Loki: You're different. Why? Loki: No, I'm not, you see? I'm the same, really. I'm the same as all of you. Have any of you met a woman Variant of us? Classic Loki: Sounds terrifying. Loki: Oh, she is. But that's kind of what's great about her. She's different. She's not trying to take over the TVA, she's trying to take it down. And she needs me. Now, you said Alioth is what keeps us here. You said it's a living thing. You said it's a shark. Well, if it lives, it dies. So I'm gonna kill the shark. I'm gonna kill Alioth, and I could use all the help I can get.

That’s what Loki preaches to his fellow Lokis who think a woman Loki would be terrific.

I mean, they’ve an alligator Loki, a POC Loki, but the one who has to be different is the female Loki. Because being female is a character trait.

Mobius: Okay. I feel like I'm always looking up to you. I like it. It's appropriate. [Ep 1]

Basically females in the “Loki” series are all representation of the Action girl trope and aren’t even different representation of said trope. I mean, “The Avengers” have 5 actions boy who’re clearly as different as they could be. Girls can be represented as different too, if they really aim at young audience they can take good old “Sailor Moon” as an example. 5 action girls who are strong and determinate AND DIFFERENT, more than just someone who kicks the adversary away.

And it’s not like they don’t know how to characterize people in a different way.

Mobius is an analyst who shows sympathetic traits toward the Variants and a certain level or intelligence. U-92 and D-90 are hunters who are shown to held Variants in little regard (U-92 wanted to attack the boy they found in the church, D-90 mistreated the scared people in the shelter). Casey is an harmless and naïve guy who had never seen a fish. The guy who made Loki sign the papers about what he said seemed emotionless but he clearly loved cats as not only he had one but on his cup there was also the image of a cat. Martin is clearly a bossy daddy’s son, who think too high of himself to the point he can’t respect rules. The boy in the church, despite thinking Sylvie was a demon, accepted and ate food she gave him and remained in the place despite the crime. He’s clearly more brave than he looked like but he’s also naïve as he easily trusted ‘the demon’ and Mobius.

What’s C-20 character trait when she gets described by Sylvie?

Sylvie: Yeah. She was just a regular person on Earth. Loki: A regular person? Sylvie: Loved margaritas.

She’s a regular person who loves margaritas. Liking a drink is not a character trait!

There’s a more diverse female representation in “Thor” than in “Loki”.

In “Thor” we’ve Frigga, queen of Asgard, loving mother and wife who’s powerless to erase Thor’s banishment. We’ve Sif, a dangerous and loyal warrior. We’ve Jane, the amazing scientist with a lot of enthusiasm. We’ve Darcy, who’s funny and who seems focused mostly on herself but who, when the city is attacked, worried to save all the animals at the pet store.

But maybe the one who gets the worst treatment is the supposed heroine, Sylvie, because the poor girl is turned into a Mary Sue.

In case someone isn’t familiar with the term:

“The prototypical Mary Sue is an original female character in a fanfic who obviously serves as an idealized version of the author mainly for the purpose of Wish Fulfillment. She's exotically beautiful, often having an unusual hair or eye colour, and has a similarly cool and exotic name. She's exceptionally talented in an implausibly wide variety of areas, and may possess skills that are rare or nonexistent in the canon setting. She also lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws — either that or her "flaws" are obviously meant to be endearing. She has an unusual and dramatic Back Story. The canon protagonists are all overwhelmed with admiration for her beauty, wit, courage and other virtues, and are quick to adopt her as one of their True Companions, even characters who are usually antisocial and untrusting; if any character doesn't love her, that character gets an extremely unsympathetic portrayal. She has some sort of especially close relationship to the author's favourite canon character — their love interest, illegitimate child, never-before-mentioned sister, etc. Other than that, the canon characters are quickly reduced to awestruck cheerleaders, watching from the sidelines as Mary Sue outstrips them in their areas of expertise and solves problems that have stymied them for the entire series.” [tvtropes.org]

So let’s see how she fits this checklist:

1) She's exotically beautiful, often having an unusual hair or eye colour: Sylvie painted her hair blonde even though the Lokis are supposed to be black haired

2) has a similarly cool and exotic name: She is the only Loki Variant who has changed her name from Loki to Sylvie.

3) She's exceptionally talented in an implausibly wide variety of areas, and may possess skills that are rare or nonexistent in the canon setting: Awesome at fighting she can enchant people, an ability the Lokis don’t posses, that she magically learnt on her own and that is necessary in the story. Also she figured out how a Tempad worked BEFOREseeing it in action.

4) She also lacks any realistic, or at least story-relevant, character flaws — either that or her "flaws" are obviously meant to be endearing: No flaws, all her plans involve fighting and brute force is no substitute for diplomacy and guile, which could be a flaw… if it wasn’t for the fact that the series will prove Sylvie can plan just fine without using fighting and brute strength and also be successful at it.

5) She has an unusual and dramatic Back Story: She was taken by the TVA when she was younger than Kid Loki but managed to escape them and had to live alone and on the run till then.

6) The canon protagonists are all overwhelmed with admiration for her beauty, wit, courage and other virtues, and are quick to adopt her as one of their True Companions, even characters who are usually antisocial and untrusting: Loki, who has never loved anyone, falls for her, Mobius saves her and apologizes to her, B-15, who used to look down at Variants, basically asks her what should they do and is shown admiring her, the Lokis don’t criticize her plan, Classic Loki dies to save her, everyone views her as the superior Loki Variant.

7) if any character doesn't love her, that character gets an extremely unsympathetic portrayal: Renslayer, the hunter who has arrested her, is currently playing the part of the antagonist who’s fascist and believes in a murderous, lying cult.

8) She has some sort of especially close relationship to the author's favourite canon character — their love interest, illegitimate child, never-before-mentioned sister, etc.: She’s the Variant and love interest of the titular character.

9) Other than that, the canon characters are quickly reduced to awestruck cheerleaders, watching from the sidelines as Mary Sue outstrips them in their areas of expertise and solves problems that have stymied them for the entire series: Loki, the title character, has conveniently been turned into someone who’s a weak fighter and incapable of planning which Sylvie has to save by enchanting guards or giving him her sword or pruning herself or teaching him how to enchant and coming up with all the plans.

Now all she needs in order to be a perfect Mary Sue is to know how to sing well as Mary Sue usually do this as well, though I’m sure she can do it because Loki could so she surely can.

Sylvie is amazing, Loki himself said so:

Loki: No. We may lose. Sometimes painfully. But we don't die. We survive. I mean, you did. You were just a child when the TVA took you, but you nearly took down the organization that claims to govern the order of time. You did it on your own. You ran rings around them. You're amazing!

There’s nothing inherently wrong in having a new female character who’s competent, for whom the hero falls and who changes him… if all this is built around a solid plot.

Think at “Iron Man”.

Tony Stark is, to quote Tony Stark himself a “genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist”.

It’s amazing, isn’t it? But the movie shows us why he’s that.

It spends time setting up his pedigree, how he inherited the money and intelligence from his father, how he was supported as he grew and studied becoming always a greater genius. Tony shows himself to be charming before seducing his first woman onscreen so that when he does it makes sense. His philanthropic activities are, at first, just mentioned but seems rooted in how his father was a hero who helped fighting Nazi and then they became his mission. He felt guilty he was a merchant of death and tried to make up for it.

Sylvie too could have a solid plot behind herself.

Instead than magically knowing what a TemPad does and how it works and managing to escape with it, she could have escaped with, let’s say, a hunter that discovered the truth and decided to rebel to the TVA or just had pity of her. Maybe another Mobius Variant who used to work at the TVA prior to Mobius and that, instead than an analyst was a hunter. She might have learnt fighting from him and then he too died and she was left alone.

Enchantment might have been an ability she might have learnt coming in contact with a mind stone. It could have been an occasion also to talk how mind stones can influence people negatively. Or it could have been taught to her by Frigga who, with a female daughter, decided to teach her a different type of magic than Loki.

Her past could have been explored more instead than being tragic for the sake of tragic. We might have seen her fall in love and either be betrayed or have to say goodbye to her loved one because that reality got pruned. We might have seen her being interested in males and females alike as she’s supposed to be interested in both.

She could have had discussions with Loki that weren’t just about Frigga or about how the TVA kidnapped her from Asgard, she escaped and from that point on she was always on the run, or about how love didn’t feel real, but more about how they were, how they felt, what hurt them and what made them happy, what they liked and what they disliked, their ideals and their fears, things that can built up a relation.

Loki basically fall for her because she’s on a mission for revenge instead than power and seems confident. That’s his reasoning.

She falls for Loki… because apparently he’s the person who spend time with her who praised her. That’s not a solid love story, that’s desperation.

SYlvie could have flaws, she could have learnt diplomacy or persuasion from Loki or could have something she lacks and Loki has so that they would complete each other.

And since the purpose was to have Sylvie and Loki fall for each other… they could have let Loki have characteristics that can motivate the exceptional heroine to fall in love for him PRIOR to him falling in love for her. He might be shown good at something, instead than just a clown.

Even if we say the real purpose of this series was to turn Sylvie into the protagonist, the heroine, a good Loki character was still needed to explain why this awesome girl would fall for him.

So okay, there will surely still be women who can see themselves in Sylvie and imagine they got Loki… and it’s not bad really… but I think we deserved more.

Long story short, yes, “Loki” has many females in its cast and this is meant to draw the female audience… but the representation is poor as almost all of the females have no character traits and Sylvie is just a Mary Sue with no realistic characterization.

A good female representation is diverse and solid. Women don't need to be born irrealistically perfect out of nothing to be good, they can inherith and grow and learn to be as such like any human being.

Last but not least…

PART 5 – DOES “LOKI” REALLY OFFERS REPRESENTATION TO THE LGBT COMMUNITY?

BC: There is a lot of talk on social media about Loki being gender fluid. Wouldn't that actually be a natural fit for the character? MW: Yeah, I guess as, with all questions pertaining to that stuff, I think those answers, truly, are best experienced in the watching of the show, as opposed to me trying to answer them. Because it's just watching it and the way that's addressed and everything will just be more fulfilling. BC: Why do you think it's important that Loki is gender fluid? MW: I think that Loki is a character that a lot of fans see representation in. People that haven't felt represented before, and they see themselves in Loki and everything. So we want to do justice to the character, to who the character is in the comics and in Norse mythology as well. And you also … you know you want folks to feel represented, and everything. That's why it's important. It always has been. It comes from everybody on the creative team. [Loki: Michael Waldron On Gender Fluidity, Mephisto, Time Travel & More]

The series hugely spread the info that this Loki would be fluid and Bisexual. The news were welcomed with delight and it’s awesome how the series didn’t hesitate to put it on paper.

Loki being fluid was written for everyone to see, and Loki having male and female interests was spelled out for everyone to hear.

IT’S A GREAT THING!

However…

It’s all we got.

It had no relevance into the plot whatsoever, it’s just a random info we’re given.

Him being fluid was on a paper along with his other data like eye colour and birth planet.

Him being interested in males and females seems to be put there just to imply he tried a large amount of people before deciding love didn’t feel real.

Assuming the other Lokis too were fluid, they actually found terrific the idea of a woman Loki in a not positive way. They weren’t interested or asking for clarifications about what Loki meant.

Loki’s bisexuality doesn’t even get a side story, them sending Fandral to beat Loki instead than Sif because Loki cheated on him or something. I’m not upset Loki ended up with a female, this is one of the possibilities of a Bisexual person. I’m upset that this was used merely to attract the audience but then wasn’t explored. They could have said Asgard was open minded with it, or disapproved it so Loki had to keep it hidden, or it could have been Sylvie who discussed some experience in that regard.

We were told over and over it was a show about identity. We expected it to be explored instead we were just told ‘ah, by the way, Loki is bisexual, let’s move on.’ And that was all.

Having representation from an important Marvel character is always important, especially considering the shortage of representation. But honestly I expected more.

PART 7 – TO SUM IT UP

Many of the people who worked in “Loki” are fantastic actors. They worked hard for this series, I can see they tried their best.

The premises for the “Loki” series are interesting.

We get a Loki who hadn’t experienced most of what happened in the movies yet, we make him confront with someone who knows his life, the one he lived and the one he was meant to live and we also make him confront with Variations of himself.

Loki has the Tesseract and the TVA has plenty of infinity stones, we could explore them.

The TVA itself have a fascist organization that dictates people’s lives and murders whoever tries to do differently, that goes so far as to brainwash the people working in it, which mistreats and belittle the Variants and establish a manipulative cult around the Time-Keeper with elements of police brutality which could be very actual.

Time travelling was the plot of "Avengers: Endgame" they could have tied the movie to the series, esplore the why some time travels were allowed and some weren't or their effects.

There were references to plenty of awesome comics they could take inspiration from.

But unless it redeems itself with the last episode… well, so far it’s failing to deliver what it promised due to a really poor plot which doesn’t give the characters a chance to be themselves or to be characterized as they’ve no real story nor real differences to speak of.

They’re given more time than a movie as they’re a series… but that’s no good excuse for wasting said time.

I’m still hoping the last episode will be spectacular, that it’ll manage to erase the messes of the other 5… but, as of now I’m disappointed.

I’ll just keep my fingers crossed and hope they’ll surprise me.

#mcu loki #loki #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #9 worlds study

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oswald-privileges · 3 years

Text

ALL RIGHT BUT YOU ASKED FOR IT

Power of Three as a series is just. full of weaknesses, most of which come down to poor continuity and structure. I'm not gonna try and fix ALL of those, bc that'd be laborious as hell, but I will pick out things that I feel are the most egregious as case studies.

What Po3 does have, tho, is an absolutely shining strength in the concept of its three main characters. After twelve books of Blandly Heroic Protagonist Syndrome, Jayfeather is an absolute godsend. He's angry! He's rude! He's unhappy! He's not nice. I Love Him And He's My Son. Lionblaze has his invincible pride (hah) and emergent bloodlust, and Hollyleaf has her moral absolutism and certainty. These are good starting points for characters. Sadly, the lack of continuity undermines what could have been three really good character arcs.

So! I present to you:

HOW TO MAKE "WARRIORS: THE POWER OF THREE" NOT COMPLETELY SUCK ACCORDING TO MY PERSONAL TASTE; A NON-EXHAUSTIVE, NON-CONSECUTIVE LIST BY ME

ONE

- Have there be a persistant, overarching series threat. Sol is a character with amazing villain potential who does literally nothing except hang around, and do exactly 2 Bad Things completely off-screen. This Is Not Good.

- Instead, have him be present from the second book onwards- initially introduced as a friendly but enigmatic outsider who is slowly revealed across the series to be a complete black hole of a personality, a social parasite quietly rearranging whatever community he's a part of to just-so-happen to benefit him as much as humanly possible. His "preach individualism not starclan" methods are not so much values as one strategy out of many. (to those who know me- yes i have a type. no i will not apologise.)

- Maybe his ultimate goal is to dissolve and centralise the clans or something so that he can live out his life as a political puppetmaster in all the cat-luxury he likes. idk it's hard to imagine overall stakes for this rewrite BECAUSE THE ORIGINAL DOESN'T HAVE ANY

TWO

- For gods sake you don't have a series based on the premise of "the main characters develop super powers" and then only have the second power confirmed by the end of the fourth book. I understand the first book mostly focusing on Jayfeather- his powers are obvious from the start, he's got the strongest personality of the three, he gets access to most of the prophecy plot stuff because of them. But you NEED to have the other two show an interest in something concrete happening to them beyond that, and you need to at least hint towards the other two having something unique to them even if nobody clocks it yet.

- Have Jayfeather tell his siblings about the prophecy by the end of book two at the latest. The amount of time he spends noodling around not sharing it with them is inexcusable. It's not that it's out of character for him to hang onto a secret for a bit, it's just that there's no point and it slows everything down. It would be equally in character for him to go to his siblings and be like "look, i'm SPECIAL. well you as well but ALSO ME". Boy starts off as desperate for recognition, what can I say

THREE

- Have Jayfeather discover that StarClan don't withhold signs or information on purpose for the sake of "building courage and faith" or whatever nonsense. Seeing and communicating the future is metaphysically very difficult, so interpreting signs and messages is a genuine skill, or even an art. The cats of StarClan, however, really are just ghosts, much more similar to living cats than the currently living believe. This is the impotus for Jayfeather's discarding of his reverence for StarClan, which remains consistent throughout the series.

- Have Hollyleaf and Jayfeather both still change their cat careers in the first book, but put place more attention on the fact that they basically switched jobs. Have a scene where they end up yelling at each other, because can't the other see how lucky they have it? The tension breaks when they realise they've both lost something important to them- Jayfeather his chance to prove he's as capable as a sighted cat, and Hollyleaf her path to helping her clan in the way she thinks is best. They commiserate together, and reluctantly promise to do the best they can with their lots, so they don't waste the path the other wishes they'd taken. This closeness is eroded over the series as they disagree more and more on the subject of StarClan and its role in their moral choices and obligations.

FOUR

- Speaking of Hollyleaf! I nearly threw my phone across the room when the first Omen of the Stars book claimed that Hollyleaf "worked so hard to discover her power to help her clan". Where, Ms Erins??? I would have LOVED to have seen that!! Hollyleaf expresses absolutely no concern over the details of what power she has/will develop, and only has a couple of scenes even touching on her ambitions to help her clan. She has some vague ideas about becoming leader and like one scene where she gets to do some leadery things, but that never gets followed up on. What does happen is that the whole "warrior code" thing becomes more and more a part of her personality (for no clear reason) until she snaps.

- Hollyleaf going off the deep end is something I wanted so badly to get into and be moved by, because I could see where it comes from! Her moral certainty is fascinating, especially since it's based in something as abstract as the warrior code- which, when you think about it, isn't really... anything. There's no concrete set of rules that make it up, no traditional wording or cat philosophers, not even any fables. It's a handful of agreed-upon, common sense rules- don't cross boundaries, don't take prey that isn't yours, respect your ancestors, and don't murder. That's it!

- So, combining the above points, I think Hollyleaf not being one of the Three should stay, but both the audience and the characters are given good reason to believe she is. By around the third volume, make it so that Hollyleaf has found that her power is to get cats to "Do The Right Thing"- i.e. what she wants them to do. She sneaks off often to see Sol, who teachs her how to use this power. Her siblings are concerned about this new power, having already gotten a glimpse at what Sol can do, but she's confident that she can only use this power for good. Volume-specific plot happens, Sol manipulates her into causing him to win, she is shocked and horrified, and vows to stick ridgedly to what she knows is right i.e. The Warrior Code

- However, the more fervently she tries to stick to this abstract idea, the less it gives her results, the more her power seems to be failing. Believing that StarClan is taking her power away from her, she becomes caught up in a faith-guilt spiral that puts her in the position to snap at the end of the series. By that point it's clear to her siblings that Hollyleaf has no power- she was just very, very good at persuading people to do what she wanted.

FIVE

- Lionblaze is a girl now because I Said So. This Cat Is Trans And There's Nothing You Can Do About It.

- Her relationship with Heathertail stays the same- childhood sweethearts who are torn apart as they begin to understand the nature of the societal divides that exist between them.

- This can be used to contextualise the whole "half clan/outsider blood" thing as a cultural contradiction. In reality, inter- and outer- clan relationships aren't at all rare. They can't be, otherwise the whole society would be inbred out of existence in like five generations. But if at least one society of humans can spend a good 200 years pretending Sex Is Bad And Sinful Actually then cats can have persistant cat-racism in the face of all logic. Heathertail clocks this contradiction, Lionblaze doesn't.

- Her relationship-to-power arc doesn't need changing all that much either, other than starting much sooner and being more consistent. At first, she's completely overjoyed by her power, since unlike her siblings, it lines up so well with her ambition- become the finest warrior any of the clans have to offer. As the berserker rage aspect becomes more prevelent, she becomes more and more disturbed by the fact that she isn't disturbed by what she can do, and that she doesn't want the escalation of her power to stop.

- Tigerstar still does his thing, but Brambleclaw knows about it. He recognises the signs from when his father used to visit him, and tries to train Lionblaze in his own way. She ends up caught between wanting to be a good warrior, and testing the limits of her power.

SIX

- Jayfeather can stay basically the same because he's my perfect little angy boy and nothing needs to change. His arcs can be strengthened by having a more robust relationship with Yellowfang where they try to out-bitch each other, and coming to terms with his internalised ablism. Maybe he has a chat with Mothwing about faith a couple of times. Him furiously lashing out at being offered help transitions into an acceptence and understanding of his abilities more naturally. He never stops being A Grumpy Old Man.

- All fucking past-lives unexplained time travel goes in the BIN. Doesn't fucking happen. You can have that lore dump sprinkled across the books, or come from going deep into the tunnels and having a surreal meeting. Make it properly eldritch-level scary, shake Jayfeather's confidence in the idea of them being just a bunch of ghosts.

SEVEN

- Have the way Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight present very clearly as parents to the Three be explicitly, textually unusual. One of the things I liked so much about the first series was an almost total lack of emphasis on who was mated with who, and who was related or not. It felt very real to how feral cat colonies form, where raising kittens is a communal job. This gets completely dropped the moment series 2 starts and now the cats have monogamy.

- This emphasis on the family unit and fostering close relationships between parents and kittens is deliberate on the part of both Leafpool and Squirrelflight. Their aim is to cover for Leafpool so she doesn't lose her role as medicine cat- something she already gave up Crowfeather for before she was pregnant.

- In that little bit of backstory, have a robust reason for both Leafpool and Squirrelflight to leave the camp while Leafpool is pregnant and giving birth, possibly one that ties into the present day story in some minor way. I don't know how, it would just make that element of the story a lot more ground than "we left, the kits were born, then we came back and everyone was cool with it"

- When it comes to the "I am Not your mother" reveal, Jayfeather and Lionblaze are confused and hurt that they were lied to, but come to the reasonable conclusion that well, since they were raised mostly by Squirrelflight, saw Leafpool often, and are loved by both, they don't hate her. Lionblaze has something of a crisis over being half-clan, possibly initiating an attempted reunion with Heathertail. Jayfeather is more concerned with how other cats will think it makes him lesser, something he's still sensitive too.

- Hollyleaf, meanwhile, completely fucking snaps at the way her mother Violated Part Of The Code. It's a completely irrational reaction, but expected because she's been growing more and more reliant on The Code for the whole series, and less and less stable in her attempts to aid her clan and train to be its new leader.

- Squirrelflight is the one to murder Ashfur. This is easy to work out while reading- she's literally the only one of the four with a motive who isn't a perspective character. The mystery is less around finding out who did it, and more about why she did it (it's very ambiguous as to whether it was an accident or not). The main tension comes from who finds out when.

- Lionblaze is shocked, awed by how far she'd go to protect the three of them, and reassures her she did the right thing (as a way to salve her own uncertainty over her own longing for violence). Jayfeather makes it all about himself because he's Jayfeather- upset that he didn't know immediately, instead of, you know, figuring it out in a few hours because he can basically read minds. They try their best to hide it from Hollyleaf, who is already rattling around the final volume as a full-on antagonist, but are unsuccessful. This almost costs them something incredibly important- possibly Squirrelflight's life.

EIGHT

- the whole plot with the Tribe Of Rushing Water is a MASSIVE can of worms that could be removed from the series without issue. As it is:

- Characterize the Tribe as uncertain of how to fight other cats, because yes, they haven't had to do this before. DON'T characterise them as pathetic, doing whatever their leader says without thinking, and with ancestors who have Given Up

- Have some of the Tribe be really good at the violence. Worryingly good. Have others be sickened by what they're being asked to do.

- Have some of the clan cats reflect on what they've done. Hollyleaf would be all for introducing this society to jesus The Code, but even she might be horrified at being thanked by a tribe cat who can't wait to get out there and win themselves glory, only to be killed a few hours later

- The Tribe begin a new tradition of marking the walls in the mud they use as camoflage in order to commemorate their battles, and memorialise the fallen. One of the characters reflects on the fact that in a generation or two, the Tribe will feel like it's always been this way. How many of their own traditions- those that feel almost like natural law- started out the same way?

- Have Sol as the leader of the invaders, or maybe having insinuated himself into the tribe as a "mediator" and doing his charismatic cult leader thing.

NINE

- Cinderheart isn't a reincarnation of Cinderpelt. She's just named after her bc Cinderpelt saved her mother from a badger. this is because I think the reincanation thing is stupid and I can't think of a way to make it good.

TEN

- No more using tails as hand gestures like covering people's mouths. Never. None of it. It's expunged from existence.

Disclaimer: I haven't read Omen of the Stars yet, so I can't account for anything that might happen in that series that's grounded in Po3. I'm like... two thirds of the way through the first volume. I'm Not Impressed.

#Warrior Cats #warriors #The Power of Three #Jayfeather #Hollyleaf #Lionblaze #long post

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perhapsthanatos · 3 years

Text

10:32 pm with yuta ♡

nct’s yuta x fem!reader (got inspired by a dream of mine & found the idea really cute)

alternate title: be the james dean to my audrey hepburn

genre: fluff. a pinch of angst. non idol au. badboy!yuta au.

word count: 1400~

playlist: chinatown by wild nothing, lover’s rock by tv girl & work this time by king gizzard and the lizard wizard.

warnings: featuring johnny (not a warning though). smoking cigarettes. cursing. lowercase intended. not proofread.

a/n: hi i was supposed to post a vampire!haechan fic but i really wasnt happy w it in general :( the plot or overall idea of the fic was really good, but i just felt as if i didnt do it justice so here we are :( but ngl, i kind of like this concept more? maybe bc i can see it more vividly? idk, i feel like my writings r getting repetitive & its getting on my nerves lmaoo this is getting long im sorry do u guys even read this part anyway? i would also like to apologize abt the amount of projecting im doing lmao ive been having some rough days & i love my sister but hate being compared to her so often so this is a way for me to rant abt it ig? also so sorry its coming out a little later bc i woke up late today (& procrastinated for the rest of it so here i am posting really late at night) & decided to go to the convenience store to get ice cream (& a ton of other bad shit pls dont do this its rlly unhealthy) for breakfast bc i can :) any who, enjoy lovelies <3

“oh my, y/n! you’ve grown up so well! just like your sister!”

“oh! i’m sorry i’ve almost mistaken you for your sister! y/n is your name, correct?”

“y/n, darling, you are looking so dashing! you really do resemble your sister, don’t you?”

“ah, you must be y/n! i’ve heard all about you and your sister from your father!”

you swear that your reddening cheeks are threatening to fall off any moment now from all the fake smiling. the hundreds of superficial compliments, the insincere flattery and the need for these people to constantly compare you to your godforsaken sister makes you feel even weaker than you are. it gets harder and harder to keep up with a big persona that isn’t at all you. as lucky as you are to live such a lavish lifestyle, you can’t help but hate how your family has to be so perfect. you hate how you have never fit in with them, even if you are so good at faking it. you hate how you have always been stuck in your sister’s shadow, constantly haunted with the reminder that you yourself aren’t good enough. you hate how you now have to entertain the rich and brainless guests at your parent’s gala because she’s gone for some stupid prodigy competition and everyone is only talking about her in front of your face. so what if she’s better the better sister? you still have the right to earn respect, right?

you’re exhausted from all the small talk. your facade gets more brittle by the second under all the pressure. your body feels as if it's gonna give out due to your brain shutting down after all that interacting. you try to keep on going with the night as it unravels itself by being the perfectly poised poster child, trying to make your parents proud. but alive yet almost completely devoid, you decide enough was enough. what if you left right now? no one would notice, would they?

after pulling up your phone discreetly to send a few text messages, you pass through lots of people dressed in gold and finery in a way that wouldn’t have you noticed right away. keep your head down and don’t you dare make eye contact with anyone. nearing the end of the room, grabbing the first glass of whatever alcohol you see and downing it in one gulp, you start walking away as quickly as possible from the ballroom. “ignorant privileged fucks,” you angrily whisper to no one in particular, setting the now empty glass on whatever surface and begin to head to the main exit where no one could spot you running away.

“and what do you think you’re doing here, miss?”

a voice interrupts you, looking up you see that it is your father’s head butler; johnny. he is dressed in a simple black suit that makes him appear taller than he is. his long brown hair is slicked back and his bowtie seems brand new. you have known the man since he started working in your household less than ten years back. you were a reckless child, often trying to find ways to sneak out, finding a way to escape from this life and he sympathized with you. after all, he could barely imagine living your life, never catching a break for yourself and always pretending to be someone you weren’t. he often helped planning when you would sneak out into the night, scheduling things like what time you should leave and what time you should be back, more specifically a time when no one would notice. he would take care of your form of transportation and have your location on at all times, just to be extra safe. as much as he wants you to have fun and have a bit of freedom, he still worries that something might happen to you. because of all this, you two have grown to have a very strong bond. you could confidently say that he is most definitely a parental figure in your life since your parents (and even your sister) are often overseas for work.

“what do you think i’m doing? you think i wanna be in a room with those half-baked bipeds? fuck no!”

“i know, i was just joking. you looked like you were about to explode in there, i wish i could help.” he laughs, pulling out his phone preparing what you might need. “so what will it be for today? the driver? we just need to pay him to keep his mouth shut. a taxi? it’s cheaper than paying the driver, but you still need to pay… not like that’s a problem for you though. maybe an uber would be good enough—“

“actually, i got myself covered. thanks.”

his jaw slightly drops and his eyebrows furrow. he looks straight at you in shock. “what do you mean you got yourself covered?”

you look down at your feet, a nervous habit. “i got myself a ride, you don’t need to help me. i’ll be back as soon as dawn comes.”

he raises his eyebrow. “who’s your ride?”

“doesn’t matter,” you glance down at your phone seeing a notification and wave a goodbye, leaving rather suddenly. “i gotta go, i’ll text you when you need to open the gates!”

“y/n! wait! who’s your ride— and she’s gone.” johnny sighs, watching as you run towards the front gates, tossing your stiletto heels away on the grass while you’re at it. he heads back inside, silently hoping you’ll be fine.

knocking the window of the old black mustang parked outside behind the big bushes, the driver rolls down his window and sends the most charming smile.

yuta in his black beanie, long blonde hair, worn out doc martens, signature leather jacket and black skinny jeans. it almost makes you laugh on how he wears the same thing almost everyday but still manages to look so good.

he is most notable for having a big bad boy reputation and you knew that he was the breath of fresh air you needed in your life. a person who can understand having the pressure of having to be or to fulfill your persona. a person you can completely be yourself around. a person who is full of warmth no matter how cold he may seem on the outside.

“get in, princess.”

and that was all you needed. you tiredly walked to the other door and sat yourself in the car. rolling his window back up, he looks at you. you are wearing a simple yet stunning black dress along with silver jewelry adorned on your neck and wrists. your makeup is perfectly done but still struggles to hide the fog in your eyes. he has the sudden urge to clear them away. he softens at the sight of you. no one is perfect, but he finds you being perfect enough without ever having to dress up.

“where to?” he asks as gently as he could. he knows that you are most vulnerable during these moments and that it is hard to finally break down your walls after a day full of stress, so he doesn’t pry immediately. all he wants to do is to keep you here, safe and away from your burdens and for you to stay comfortable with him, even if it couldn't be for long. but is that too selfish of him to ask? he hates how you hate your life and it is taking every bone in his body to not run away with you. but who is he to tell you what to do or what to change anyway? all he can do for now is try to find a way to make you genuinely smile.

“take me anywhere,” you whisper to the latter. “i just want to be as far from myself and my life as possible. miles away or the nearest convenience store, just take the long way home before dawn.”

you look down at the cup holders, spotting an open cigarette box. you tug one out of the nineteen and light it with the lighter you kept in your pocket. you lean back and close your eyes. he only admires as you bring the cigarette to your lips, exhaling a cloud of smoke afterwards. letting the radio play quietly, he starts the car and begins to drive away from the mansion. he can’t help but wonder how you (an elegant daughter) and him (a bad boy) are millions of worlds apart, but more similar than you think.

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hyena-frog · 3 years

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Makes me so sad to think about how Cassius raised Lysander for 10 YEARS and came to love him like a brother and likely put a ton of effort into being a decent role model only for Lysander to turn around and become exactly like Octavia..... like can you imagine what must be going through Cassius’ head when he flies over Lysander at the end of DA.. :( seeing the kid he raised to adulthood become a monster.. I just... ugh. It tears me up inside

Hoo boy, I hope you’re prepared for the essay I’m about to write.

Genuinely, I think about this all the time. Cassius and Lysander have one of the most complex, tragic relationships the second trilogy has to offer. I hated Cassius so much after Golden Son but now he’s one of my favorite characters. I would really love it if he is the new POV Pierce Brown promised. In the second trilogy, Cassius has been exclusively filtered through Lysander’s POV, so I’m dying to know his own thoughts on everything that has happened. (But I would also like a Volga POV for the Obsidian story and maybe Diomedes POV for the Rim perspective. I’m torn.) I just want Cassius to have a happy ending. And I hate Lysander, but I would really like for him to see eye to eye with Cassius at least once before he is horribly, painfully, rightfully murdered.

Now, the thing is, Cassius didn’t come to love Lysander as a brother over time, he already loved him when he decided to become his guardian and mentor. It bugged me that, at the end of Morning Star, it didn’t feel like Cassius’ decision to take in Lysander was justified enough. All we really got out of him was that Lysander reminded him of Julian. Pretty flimsy. Then Iron Gold came along and blessed us with a flashback to when they first met. Little Lysander wasn’t too impressed with Cassius (he wasn’t exactly as respectable post Red Rising as he is now) but Cassius quickly went from calling Lysander an “eerie little creature” to declaring “I’ve decided to like you, little moon boy.” From that moment, Cassius truly cared for Lysander. Reading that flashback again after Dark Age makes me so emotional.

Lysander has this complex about being Julian’s replacement, that Cassius doesn’t love him so much as he loves the shadow of Julian he sees in him. And he’s justified, in a way, because Cassius does slip up and call him Julian sometimes, but it’s usually when he’s delirious from pain and not thinking clearly. Lysander completely misses the fact that Cassius does love him. I guess he doesn’t have much experience recognizing when he’s genuinely cared for, because why would he, but there is plenty of evidence of Cassius’ true feelings.

For example, Cassius sold most of his remaining family possessions to keep them afloat on the Archimedes. Now, Cassius isn’t strapped for cash by any means but the fact he cares for Lysander (and Pytha) enough to sell many of the last reminders of his dead family that he owns, is very telling. But Lysander doesn’t think about that. He acknowledges that it happened but doesn’t consider the deeper, emotional meaning behind that action.

Another example is Cassius opening up to Lysander about the last time he ever saw his father. How he disappointed Tiberius but finally regained his respect, only for the entire Bellona family to be slaughtered shortly after that reconciliation. That was a sign that he loves and trusts Lysander enough to be vulnerable with him. He never told that story to anyone else, as far as we know. He believed he was going to die in the Bleeding Place and wanted that memory of his father to live on in Lysander. The fact that Lysander is blind to how Cassius genuinely loves him, even now, is tragic.

You’re right, Cassius did try to be a good role model and pass on good morals. I think the scene in Dark Age, where Pytha confesses that Cassius forbade her from revealing to Lysander that she is actually a soldier and not a disgraced commercial pilot, as he was lead to believe, was very telling. Cassius attempted to show Lysander life outside of politics and war. He tried to show him that all Colors are equals deserving of respect. Cassius was devastated when Lysander chose to save Seraphina over the many mid- and low-color prisoners on the Vindabona. He was horrified that Lysander chose “quality” of life saved over quantity. This coming from Cassius, who compared Pinks to animals in Red Rising. Cassius has learned and changed a lot since the first book and he tried to pass those lessons onto Lysander. But it didn’t stick. Not even after 10 years of teaching.

Unfortunately, his teachings were tainted by his bad coping mechanisms for his personal demons. His alcoholism, his continued pining for Virginia, combined with his betrayal of Octavia and involvement in Aja's brutal murder, gave Lysander enough excuses to never fully embrace his lessons. While Lysander did love Cassius, there was always some flaw or another in his teacher that allowed him to comfortably distance himself from the lessons that diverged from Octavia’s teachings. To be honest, Cassius had no business taking on a ward while he was so torn up inside. Keeping Lysander isolated in a tin can in the middle of space for 10 years, instead of living among diverse people, didn’t do him any favors either. Frankly, Cassius missed a lot of red flags. A big one is the fact Lysander carved Lux ex tenebris, the Lune family motto, into the ceiling of his room on the Archimedes, where he could stare up at it every night. Yikes.

This dissonance in Lysander’s thinking is what lead to his betrayal in the Bleeding Place. Yes, Lysander loves Cassius and wanted to save his life rather than see him die at the hands of people who don’t respect him. But he also genuinely believes in the inherent hierarchy of Octavia’s teachings, that the “true order” is for Cassius to follow him. If Cassius lives, if he can convince him that his rightful place is to follow Lysander, things can finally be right in the worlds. Cassius failed to express his feelings in a way Lysander can comprehend, so he felt he was just a replacement for Julian. Lysander can dismiss Cassius’ love as love for his dead twin, and in turn, he can dismiss his claim to believe in the inherent equality of humankind as guilt and justification for killing his Sovereign. Cassius was unable to truly see how badly he failed until he was betrayed.

Since Cassius was absent for most of the plot following his “death” it’s difficult to concretely say what he’s been thinking since then. But I’ve been thinking a lot about him, so here is my conjecture. Take it with a grain of salt.

That moment you mention, when Cassius flies overhead, he deliberately retracted his helmet for a brief moment of eye contact with Lysander, so he would know exactly who rescued Darrow... Shivers. So much left unsaid. I imagine Cassius was thinking a lot of things in that moment. On the one hand, some pettiness and anger at being betrayed: “I lived bitch, I rescued Darrow, this is where my loyalties lie.” But there was also probably a mixture of shock and guilt at knowing what Lysander has done, at who he’s sided with and enabled, but also at seeing evidence of physical suffering in Lysander's burn scar and blind eye. Cassius loved Lysander, he was his guardian for 10 years, so he would hate to see him hurt. I think he would feel responsible for Lysander’s actions on some level, even if he logically understands that he’s an adult who makes his own choices.

Regardless, Cassius probably blames himself on some level. That’s what I think anyway. He tried his best to teach this kid good morals for an entire decade only for him to cling to the ideals his grandmother taught him. That has to sting. It’s probably also embarrassing, to a degree. Cassius made this grand promise to Darrow that he’d raise Lysander right, that Sevro was wrong to suggest they should have just killed him when he was little. Now Cassius’ failure to make good on that promise has been advertised to the whole Solar System through Lysander’s actions on Mercury. Surely Cassius feels responsible.

Cassius had a lot of time to think during his long return trip to the Core. About what happened with Lysander in the Rim, about his lingering feelings for Virginia, about his place in the Republic, and about what he really considers the right thing to do. Cassius can be intensely empathetic when he allows himself to be. For example, in Morning Star, he managed to really sympathize with Darrow’s life when they were drinking whiskey together. I’m willing to bet he spent that long return journey considering Lysander’s perspective with a clear head, after spending so many years lost in the haze of his own sorrows. Now that he is out of that bad mental place, he is likely able to see where he made mistakes in how he raised Lysander.

It will make for an interesting confrontation between Cassius and Darrow, who is thoroughly, understandably, done with Lysander, when the time comes to kill him. Cassius knows the danger Lysander poses and probably won’t argue against killing him this time, but I do think he would resist a little and at least try to find an alternative solution.

Lastly, I just want to say this, since it’s sort of relevant: This fandom tends to agree that Sevro should have just killed Lysander as a child, but if I’m being honest, I don’t agree. Kill Lysander now, as an adult, by all means, but as a kid he hadn’t done anything wrong yet, even if he was a little creepy. Darrow was right to give him the chance to live in peace. Too bad he ultimately didn’t take it. I especially don’t think Cassius would agree killing Lysander as a kid was the right choice, even now. He is traumatized by the sudden loss of most of his family, including little kids, so I don’t think he’d ever agree to killing a child. If he could somehow go back in time, knowing what he knows now, I think he would make the same choice to raise Lysander. In that scenario, I think he would rather try to fix the mistakes he made as a mentor, rather than punish Lysander.

Guh. Anyway. I had a lot of words in me about this subject. Hope you got something out of it! I’m consistently amazed by how Pierce Brown’s writing compels me to think deeply about these characters. Not to mention his ability to make me understand Lysander’s perspective even if I don’t like it or agree with it. Cassius’ perspective though... well, half of this post is just me guessing, so we’ll have to see how close I am to canon when book 6 comes out. Thanks for reading!

#cassius au bellona #lysander au lune #red rising #morning star #iron gold #dark age #iron gold trilogy #dark age spoilers #roboticscales #my post

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quietepics · 3 years

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♡ · 　INTRO.　 * . VI / ?.

in garnet’s words , the queen of gaslighting is here ! hello again everyone , today i bring you yet another trash kid . meet sibel eren , my mnemosyne kid . she’s a rich , reformed mean girl who was never really mean to begin with . peer pressure do be like that sometimes ! i’ll try to keep this short . hope you like her ♡

THE BASICS

name: melisa sibel eren nickname(s): bel , sib birthday: july 30th, 1997 ethnicity: turkish birthplace: born in ankara , turkey ; raised in london , england gender identity: cis female sexuality: pansexual / panromantic powers: memory evocation and memory manipulation mixtape: cry / ashnikko , candy / doja cat , nda / billie eilish , desert rose / lolo zouai , you are a memory / message to bears character inspiration: lux lisbon ( tvs ) , anya ( anastasia ) , viola ( soulcalibur ) , ty lee ( avatar: the last airbender ) , emma woodhouse ( emma )

THE MUSE

sibel eren is the only daughter of ozan eren , a neuropsychiatrist with a great reputation and an ever greater bank account . she was the result of a one night stand with the goddess mnemosyne , who didn’t stick around for longer than the first year of sibel’s life . not that it mattered anyway , for ozan spared no effort to raise his daughter as greatly as possible , all while staying dedicated to his work when he returned to london .

growing up , sibel was always top of her class , excelling on all subjects even if she struggled every so often . it could be that her father bribed her school and teachers , but that’s just a mystery no one’s been able to solve . more important than her grades , however , were her friends ; they weren’t the best of people , just your stereotypical group of rich kids without a single care in he world , but she fit in with them rather nicely . of everyone in their little group , sibel was known for being the nice one , the one who would go out of their way to be kind to others rather than bully them . her friends didn’t get it , yet they didn’t care either .

as sibel got older , things started to change within her . she could feel her memory progressively getting worse and worse , yet paid no mind to it --- if anything , she assumed it had something to do with puberty or teenage hormones . telling her father about it wasn’t an option either ; the man was overwhelmingly busy with work and other things , and she didn’t want to be just another one of her father’s patients .

when sibel was sixteen , she met her first boyfriend , a guy from school who managed to get inside her friend group . much to no one’s surprise , she was head over heels in love with him and their relationship was wonderful . at least seemingly so .

about a year later , rumors started spreading that the boy was spotted cheating on her , which sibel refused to believe . it wasn’t until she caught him and one of her best friends together with her own eyes during a christmas party that the girl learned that she was being used all along . the two had been seeing each other for months now , and at least half of her friend group knew about it . yet because of her goody - two - shoes attitude and subpar memory , both her boyfriend and friend thought they could get away with it , and that it wouldn’t matter . after all , what trouble could she possibly cause ?

all sibel could think about was how much she wanted to forget what she’d just seen . not only her , but all the people who’d gathered round to witness the greatest faux pas of the holiday season to forget it as well . with clenched fists and a loud scream of frustration , the girl willed everyone to forget what happened , yet it only led people to lose scattered pieces of their own memories of that night to the point where no one was sure of what exactly they were doing there .

to the outsider , it became public knowledge that what happened that night was something to do with collective amnesia due to a lot of alcohol , but that didn’t explain why sibel was found sleeping for three days straight after the revelation . when she woke up at the hospital , the girl was scouted by nl and claimed by her godly mother . she hasn’t spoken to any of her “ old friends ” ever since , but something tells her they might think of her as a freak now .

MISC.

so yeah , sib’s memory isn’t the greatest . it became worse as her powers grew , but it’s gotten a lot better since she came to nl as a result of learning to control her gifts .

because her memory isn’t the greatest , forming a relationship with her takes a lot of effort and patience . she might forget you the first couple of times you meet , but after the third or forth time hanging out , chances are sibel will have your name and face memorized , and maybe a random fact too .

bel relies on photographs and notes a lot . she’s an avid user of social media , not just because it’s fun but because it genuinely helps her remember things . she also has quite the amount of followers , but nothing like an nl ambassador . she just happens to be rich , and her reputation is to blame for her relative popularity .

tends to be a bit snappy , but it’s only because she doesn’t want to get taken advantage of or be made a fool of again . i promise she has a good heart !

is a little bit reckless . she knows she won’t remember most of the things she does anyway , so why bother stressing about it !

when it comes to the medical track , sibel specializes in injuries pertaining to the brain , as well as taking care of heroes and other demigods who might have suffered some sort of accident that might affect their memories . she can be found during daytime or night time depending on the day , as she often covers for anyone who might not be able to show up for some reason .

plot ideas ig: someone who just looks out for her and makes sure she’s not being too reckless or getting taken advantage of due to her bad memory ; someone who’s been putting in the effort to befriend her even though it’s not easy , but they think she’s worth the effort or are curious about her ; a best friend , which is a huge deal considering how terrible her old friends were to her ; one night stands , as i imagine she has quite a few ( this could be especially funny considering she most likely won’t remember them in particular , just the smash ) ; a fwb that she actually does remember and is her safe bet of sorts ; coworkers ; friends who walk around campus with her to take pictures of things ; anything your heart desires !

POWERS

[ MEMORY EVOCATION ]: sibel is able to bring old memories to light with clarity and more vividly. this works best if she’s given a token related to said memory ( an object, a photograph, something from that specific time or day ). however, she cannot create a memory from scratch.

[ MEMORY MANIPULATION ]: she can alter parts of a person’s memory; the bigger the alteration ( ie. a person, a location ), the more concentration it requires, leading to exhaustion that can keep her bedridden for days. though she can manipulate memories, cannot erase them completely, but her alterations can make a traumatic memory less impactful, or even turn it into a pleasant one.

#nlintro

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backtothestart02 · 3 years

Text

Just Best Friends - 2/? | westallen fanfiction

A/N: So...I completely took out the Mardon side plot and everything Harrison Wells-related that was suspicious in 1x15. I'm all here for just the relationship dynamics and messy westallen. Enjoy! FYI: Most of this chap is just scenes from the ep expanded upon, so I hope you don't mind that. Happy reading!

...

Chapter 2 -

Eddie didn’t come home till late that night. Really late. Iris had gone to bed even, but the sound of him opening the door, his key in the lock, woke her from the in-and-out sleep she’d been experiencing. She expected him to come in and check on her, see if she was up, maybe tell her about his night and what had all gone on, if Barry had been of any help. She was sure he had. Maybe Eddie wouldn’t tell her that though. She had a gut feeling he wouldn’t.

At any rate, she expected him to at least come in the bedroom and say something.

He didn’t even try though. That’s when she knew that somehow she’d screwed up. He couldn’t just be tired. She heard him grab a beer from the fridge and collapse on the couch. She waited for him to come in to see her, but it never happened. She heard him sigh as he stretched out on the couch and kicked off his shoes.

She frowned and laid her head back on the pillow and waited. She waited a long time, long enough for her to get genuinely tired again and fall asleep.

When she woke up the next morning, he was gone.

There was no note, no breakfast even, nothing. She had definitely screwed up, and they needed to have a discussion pronto.

She went to work as usual, eyed Linda across the room and wondered if they would be as at odds as she and Eddie were. She focused as best she could on her work and made a point to head over to CCPD on her lunch break.

She found her dad, Barry, and Eddie all standing together. She easily hugged her dad and snuck in a nugget about wanting something to report about, but Eddie made a bee line for his desk as soon as she did, and she knew this couldn’t wait any longer. They had to talk.

Her dad and Barry made their exit, and she went straight to Eddie’s desk. Serious face on, reporter face even.

“Hey, ever since last night you’ve barely said a peep.” She took a seat on the side of his desk. “What is going on?”

“I didn’t like the way I felt watching you and Barry last night.”

At first she thought he was joking, and she cracked a grin…until it became obvious he wasn’t.

“Eddie, Barry, he’s just-”

“Like family.” He leaned forward. “I know.” He stood up. “And I know you two have a long history that predates me, but Iris, we live together. You’re my girlfriend, and someday hopefully, you’ll be more. I don’t like feeling like the odd man out every time you and Barry are together. I shouldn’t have to.”

“Eddie, Barry is always gonna be a part of my life.”

“I get that. But something’s changed between you two.”

I love you, Iris flashed before her eyes. Christmas. A confession that took her offguard. That still had her shaken to this day.

“Whatever that is,” he continued. “I am not okay with it.”

He moved past her, not attempting another word.

She sat there for a while, contemplating what he’d said and what it meant. Was he right? Had something changed between her and Barry? Did it have something to do with Barry’s confession? That had been weeks, if not months ago. It couldn’t still be affecting her like this. It shouldn’t. It wouldn’t.

She was determined to not let it. She could help whether it did or not…right?

Shaking the conversation off, she moved to leave the station. With her dad and Barry gone, along with Eddie, she had no intel for her stories and no one to eat lunch with. She might as well head back to CCPN and work through lunch. She could always snack on some food later after she’d made genuine progress.

Though how she was going to make things up to Eddie was still up in the air.

Nibbling on her bottom lip, she stepped into the elevator and rode it down to the ground floor. Then she swiftly stepped outside and headed back to Central City Picture News. One thing she could focus on was work. There was nothing she could do about Eddie right now.

…

In the car during their lunch break, Barry felt a feeling gnawing at him. Guilt? Angst? Depression? Elation? He didn’t know, but he knew he had to talk to someone about it, and with Iris the center of his thoughts, he knew Joe was his only option. His only nearby option at the moment at least. And really his best option if the past had proved anything.

“Food was good, Bear, thanks for that,” Joe said, oblivious as to what was on Barry’s mind.

“Yeah, no problem. Felt like…time.”

Joe smiled and nodded.

Barry wrapped his hand around the back of his head as they walked and Joe immediately shot him a glare, which Barry neglected to notice.

“What is it?” Joe drawled.

“What?” Barry asked, immediately letting his arm fall to his side. “Nothing. It’s…nothing.”

“Come on, Bear, it’s me. I know you’re in love with Iris. I know…” he lowered his voice. “You’re the Flash. You can talk to me.”

And he knew he could. He’d been planning on it. He was just nervous about what his answers or advice would be. He was nervous about the whole situation actually.

“All right,” he said reluctantly. “I could use some advice.”

“Lay it on me.”

“You know, just…relationship stuff.”

“Oh, like, you mean that girl, Linda?” he asked, seemingly knowing exactly what was on his mind.

“No, actually, um…” Things with her were great. As far as he knew. He worried about that for a beat. “Iris,” he clarified. “Things between us have gotten a little…complicated again.”

Joe started to laugh.

“You’re asking your adopted father for advice about being in love with his daughter, who just so happens to be dating his partner.”

Barry looked away, shaking his head. He’d known it would sound worse out loud. He’d known it. But he had to tell somebody!

“I know, I know.”

Joe couldn’t stop laughing.

“Things have gone way past complicated,” he chuckled.

Barry strode on full speed ahead.

“Sometimes me and Iris have these moments.” Flashes of the night before at the bowling alley suddenly appeared before him. Her hand on his face…and then some. “And, when I’m looking into her eyes, it’s hard not to think that she’s feeling the same way I am.”

Joe managed to put away his remaining laughter.

“Look, you already told Iris how you feel, so unless she comes out and says she feels the same way, all you can do is hold on to those moments.”

It wasn’t anything that he hadn’t expected, but he still didn’t like that advice.

“Right, yeah, I know.” He hung his head.

“I know that’s not what you wanted to hear.”

“It’s all right, Joe.” He forced a smile. “Really.”

…

At CCPN, Iris was in the middle of a report when she felt her eyes start to droop. She was badly in need of some caffeine. Luckily, the station kept some tanks on stock at all times. She got up and headed straight for them on the opposite side of the room.

There was someone else there. She didn’t recognize who it was at first, then it hit her like a sledgehammer, and she felt dread well up inside her.

“Linda.” Trying to push past the nasty feeling, she scrambled for something to say. “Last night was…fun.” Though based off the girl’s current reaction and Eddie’s earlier, she was starting to think only she and Barry had thought so.

“Mhmm,” Linda said, noncommittally.

“Oh, yeah.” She moved aside as Linda gestured to wanting something on the other end of the table she was unintentionally blocking. “Look, I just wanted to apologize…”

Linda raised her eyebrows in ironic amusement. Iris didn’t see it.

“Apologize…?” She let the question hang.

Damn, she was really going to make this hard, Iris thought. She braced herself for what would come next.

“Well, for interrupting your date with Barry.”

That was a safe apology…right?

“I…I shouldn’t have done that, and…I’m sorry.”

Linda shook her head in disbelief, the possessiveness she’d felt the night before taking hold again.

“You know, Iris, when you told me that Barry had feelings for you, I thought it was just the typical weird crap that women do to each other.”

Iris couldn’t find a response to that. It had been the truth.

“But last night I realized…what you didn’t tell me and what’s kind of irritating is that you have feelings for him too.”

She was quick to deny it.

“N-No, Linda, I mean, it’s not like that.”

Linda could not be dissuaded, however.

“One thing you’ll hear about people when you work here, Iris. It’s usually what isn’t said that’s the real story.”

Linda walked away from her, not even really a glance back as she returned to her desk. Guilt weighed heavy on Iris, as did frustration. First Eddie and now Linda? Maybe she should talk to Barry. Maybe he could clear all of this up for her. She couldn’t be the only one who didn’t see what their significant others were seeing. She and Barry had just acted…well, like them.

Right?

…

When Iris called later that afternoon, Barry had picked it up immediately. He was off work now, and besides, it was Iris. When she asked to meet him, he got even more excited. She sounded concerned on the phone, and he knew that should worry him, but for some reason it didn’t. He was just looking forward to the meeting, to her having reached out. Up until recently they hadn’t seen much of each other, so it was nice…for once.

They saw each other outside of Jitters and raised a hand to acknowledge the other’s presence. They came together and walked inside after their respective greetings, heading straight for the barista in the center of the coffee shop.

Barry leaned against the counter as their orders were made.

“So, it sounded like something was kinda bothering you on the phone. Is everything all right?”

Iris hesitated divulging everything she was feeling but decided to go straight for the plunge.

“Yeah, I mean…the other night was fun, right?”

“Yeah,” he said assuredly. “Did Eddie have a good time?”

“Yeah,” she said instantly, though from their latest conversation she knew it was the farthest thing from the truth. “Linda?”

He shrugged helplessly. He hadn’t talked to her since. He’d kind of forgotten about her until Joe brought her up actually.

“I think so.”

Uneasily, Iris sat down at a high table.

“You don’t think we were too…you know?”

Barry thought back to Iris’ finger in his mouth and her legs splayed across his spread-out ones, and his heart started to race.

“No,” he said, shaking his head. If anything, he wanted more, wish she’d have done more. Would she do more while they were together? Right now? He could barely control his heartbeat.

“Okay, good,” Iris said with a laugh.

God, what he wouldn’t give to bottle up that laughter and keep it forever. It was intoxicating to listen to.

Iris swallowed.

“Actually, no, not good.”

He frowned.

“What…do you mean?”

“Eddie has been skittish since last night. When I talked to him about it today, he…and well, Linda too actually-”

“Linda talked to you?” he asked, and she could hear the nerves in his voice.

“I started the conversation, apologized for interrupting your guys’ date.”

“You didn’t interrupt the date, Iris. Not really. I mean, we were both there. It was a double date. It was fun. It would’ve been more weird if we were right next to each other and not interacting. Trust me.”

She winced.

“Maybe…either way, after talking with Eddie, I felt like I had to apologize. And…”

“What did she say?” he cut in, unable to help himself.

She blew a lock out of her face.

“She thinks I have feelings for you, and she’s pissed about it.”

It took him a minute to respond, then finally…

“Oh.”

“Yeah…obviously it’s not true.”

“Right.”

“It’s just the way we act when we’re together.”

“Of course.”

“Eddie thinks something’s changed. And he doesn’t like it either.”

“I see.”

She caught a glance at him and saw how he wasn’t meeting her eyes.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be unloading on you. I definitely shouldn’t be venting to you about my relationship problems. You were the one who told me you were over me. This is probably really upsetting to you, and irritating. Just like Eddie and Linda.”

She started to get up. Barry was quick to reach for her hand and pull her back to the table.

“Hey, no, Iris, I’m your best friend. If you can’t tell me stuff, who can you tell?”

She looked at him a bit pathetically before biting her bottom lip, fighting for what she definitely shouldn’t be saying right now. She looked down at their hands and rubbed her thumb over his fingers.

“Thanks, Barry.”

His shoulders relaxed.

“Of course.”

“I just don’t know what to do. I love Eddie, and I respect your relationship with Linda. How do I prove to them something that they’re certain isn’t true?”

He shrugged helplessly.

“Maybe just give them time? You don’t work directly with Linda, do you? I could talk with her in the meantime, set things straight.”

“No, I don’t want to ask you to do that.”

“You’re not asking me. I haven’t talked to her since last night. I’m sure one romantic night with her will put all of this to bed. Trust me.”

“And with Eddie? I live with him. I can’t just give him space. I refuse to let him sleep on the couch two nights in a row.”

“He slept on the couch last night?”

She nodded.

“I probably shouldn’t have told you that either.”

She put her head in her hands.

“God, I’m a mess.”

“Hey, no, you’re not.”

He rubbed her arms gently and she peeked through her fingers to look at him.

“Okay, maybe you’re a little bit of a mess.”

She scoffed.

“A lot bit,” she amended.

“Nah, def just a little bit.”

She snorted.

As much as he hated to suggest it, he put himself in the best friend shoes and forced the words out of his mouth.

“Why don’t you plan a romantic night with Eddie tonight too?”

She blinked. “Really?”

He nodded, forced a strained, “Yes.” He paused. “I mean, if it works for me and Linda, it should work for you two, right?”

“Right, yeah.”

She gripped both his hands and smiled gratefully.

“Thanks, Barry. I really appreciate it.”

He felt gutted, but he only nodded and smiled.

“Of course. Any time.”

#westallen #westallen fanfiction #backtothestart02 fanfiction #just best friends #chapter 2

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officialao3fandomlastforever · 4 years

Text

Fandom’s 5 Emotional Found Family Anime to Watch this week

Who doesn’t love a good found family story? A story where the characters actively choose to stay together and be a family of their own volition, where they depend on each other and learn and grow together in ways no one expects. Where people stand by each other and help each other through the highs and lows. And that’s something that you can find in many anime.

Today I want to highlight some gems that have this as part of their core story. I won’t be repeating any titles here, so if you think I missed any major ones, be sure to check out my “Fandom Reviews” tag to see if your pick was listed on another list.

Also, warning as before, some of these titles cover incredibly heavy topics, so please be sure to check the warnings before watching.

And with that, let’s get started.

1) Alice and Zoroku

Sana is a little girl with magical powers, one of many individuals known as “Dreams of Alice”, who recently escaped a research facility where she was a test subject known as “Red Queen” due to her incredible powers. She ends up coming into contact with Zoroku Kashimura, an old florist living with his grandaughter Sanae in Shinjuku. He decides to take her in and adopts her as his second granddaughter, and the two start to learn and grow as Sana learns more about the outside world, and Zoroku learns about what raising a super powered child will entail.

The two get off to a rocky start, but by the end of this anime I was smiling at how close the family became. And it isn’t everyday you see a story in anime feature a grandparent onscreen as the main caretaker and have them be incredibly likable and funny at the same time without diving into tropes like “the pervert” or “is clearly gonna die soon for the plot”. The supernatural elements are incredibly well handled and play a major role in the way characters grow together. A must watch if you like unconventional magical girl series.

2) My Roommate is a Cat

Subaru Mikazuki is a novelist who isn’t overly sociable and prefers to stay home rather than go anywhere that a crowd may surface. After his parents passed away, he ends up taking in a stray cat that he names Haru. Haru is a strong willed feline whose time on the streets made her overly protective and have a drive for survival. As time goes on, the two start to open up to each other, and their world becomes a much bigger, and brighter place.

This anime really surprised me with how well it handled showing things from both Subaru’s and Haru’s perspectives, and learning just how they feel about different situations really helped show that their choice to be a family is a genuine one. You feel for both of them and want to see things get better. Plus, it has one of the cutest anime openings ever.

3) March Comes in Like a Lion

Rei Kiriyama is a 17 year old professional shogi player, who is currently living away from home due to issues between him, his siblings, and their father. As he continues to play and go through school, he slowly starts growing closer with the Kawamoto family, who live one town over and whom he often visits after and in between matches, as well as fellow shogi players like Nikaido and Shimada, and figure out what exactly he wants out of shogi, and out of life.

By. GOD. This anime is amazing. I’ll be doing a full review of it soon enough, but let’s just say that if you want a good example of how found families can improve your life, look no further than March Comes in Like a Lion. The amount of care in the relationships is beyond compare. It’s probably one of the heavier titles on the list, but it is all handled so well that you need to check it out if you haven’t already.

4) K

Yashiro Isana is your average high school boy, whose life becomes completely upended one day when various magic wielding individuals from the clan HOMRA start chasing him, thinking he’s the one that murdered one of their own. He’s rescued by Kuroh Yatogami, a member of a different clan, and together with a mysterious girl named Neko, the two set out to learn the truth about what happened.

This is one of my favorite franchises of all time, and the concept of what makes a family, finding where you belong, and deciding the kind of person you want to be is deep at the core of what this series is all about. And with an amazing soundtrack on top of it all, there’s a lot to love here.

5) Stars Align

When the school’s student council president reorganizes the way funds are distributed between clubs to a results based format, the boys’ soft tennis club is under threat of disbanding due to poor performance. In order to save their club, president and team captain Toma Shinjo recruits old friend and new transfer student Maki Katsuragi, who agrees to join them on the condition that he be paid for his time, as his family is struggling financially. Despite being a newbie to the sport, Maki quickly picks up the basics and rises to become the team’s star player. Together with Toma, the team gains a manager, work hard to improve, and strive to do better in order to reach their one goal: win a single match in an upcoming tournament in order to save their club.

If you want my full thoughts on the anime, you can read it here in my review, but needless to say this anime nails it in the found family department. While sadly screwed over midway through production and having their episodes cut, a special short was released recently showing glimpses of the cast two years later, and director Kazuki Akane has stated that he plans to continue the story to its completion, though it might not be in an anime format. As to when that will be, it’s still up in the air, but this anime is too good not to look into in the meantime.

And that’s my 5 Found Family anime to watch this week. Are there any I missed? What other anime lists would you like to see? Let me know your thoughts!

Thank you for reading and I hope you have an awesome day.

#fandom reviews #top 5 #anime #alice and zoroku #my roommate is a cat #march comes in like a lion #sangatsu no lion #Stars Align #hoshiai no sora

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let-it-raines · 4 years

Note

If you're taking requests, how about: Killian Jones is known as radio 1s love doctor. Most of his calls are pretty lame, like the guy that called in when his girlfriend ghosted him for kissing too loudly, or the girl that saw her boyfriend snogging another girl at a rugby game. But things get interesting when he receives a call from a woman named Emma, who's got a crush on one of her new neighbors. She doesn't even know his name, much less how to talk to him...

I am 100% sure this “nonnie” is actually @wellhellotragic so she’ll have to forgive me that this isn’t angsty for her. It was going to start that way. It really was. But then I remembered that it’s @resident-of-storybrooke‘s birthday tomorrow, so the plot shifted when I realized I wouldn’t get the CMIYC prompt I wanted out for her. So hopefully angsty and baseball related things will be coming soon!

Happy (early) birthday, Tori! I’m giving you this a little early since I’m not entirely sure I’ll have internet tomorrow (thanks, storms)! Enjoy your day! This is obviously how to get the party started 🎉

found on ao3 | here |

-/-

“So, what do you think I should do?”

Killian twists in his chair and looks to Ariel on the other side of the glass. She shrugs and taps the imaginary watch on her wrist.

“Well, Ashely,” he sighs as he looks down at the notes he’s been taking, “I think the first step is telling your truth. It’s not going to be easy, especially with the situation you’re in, but you’re going to drive yourself crazy thinking of the possibilities of how things could change instead of actually changing them.”

“That’s kind of terrifying. What if – what if he doesn’t feel the same way?”

Killian leans back in his chair and adjusts his headset. “This is the father of your child, aye?”

“Yeah.”

“And you two were together at some point, correct?”

“When I was pregnant, but that was five years ago now.”

“And in the five years since you’ve had your child, you two have grown closer because you share this child. Nothing about it has been romantic or fueled by the desire to advance things sexually, and I think unlike when you first got together, you know each other now. There’s a genuine connection outside of your daughter and outside of a physical relationship. To me, it sounds like it’s worth starting a conversation, but you also have to realize this man is going to be in your life for the rest of your life because of your child. You have to be prepared for it to not go well and to still be able to put your daughter first.”

“Wow, way to sell the romance,” Ariel whispers in his headset.

He turns to her and flicks up his fingers. He’s not about selling unrealistic romance.

“Look, Ashely,” Killian starts again, “I understand that you’re scared, but I can tell that you’re strong. If anyone can have this conversation, it’s you.”

There’s a sniffle on the other end of the line. “Okay, okay. I’ll try. Thank you so much.”

“Think nothing of it, darling. Thank you for your call.”

“And commercial,” Ariel says again before he hears the sound of a local dry cleaner’s commercial coming on. God, he hates this one.

“I am not about unrealistic romance, and you know it,” he says to Ariel now that he can speak to her.

“Your nickname is the Love Doctor.”

“Which I did not pick. The network did that.”

“Because you give relationship advice for several hours a night.”

“Which was completely by accident and totally your fault for having us talk about you and Eric on air.”

She shrugs again, and Killian turns away to take a sip of his water. He’s got a lingering hangover from yesterday still, and he really should not have had that much rum. But he needed it, if he’s honest with himself, and it helped him get through the night much easier than anything else would have. The anniversary of Milah’s death is never easy, but at least this year he was able to get up the next day with only a nasty hangover.

“So our next caller is a kid.”

Killian almost chokes on his water. “It’s nearly midnight.”

“I know. I think he’s risking getting grounded to talk to you.”

“I don’t know how to give relationship advice to a kid. I feel like that’s entirely unethical. What do I – ”

“Oh, the commercial break is over,” Ariel tells him, holding up her fingers and counting down.

Three. Two. One.

“Good evening, this is Killian Jones at Radio 105. How can I help you tonight?”

“Um, hi. I’m Henry.”

Well, this is definitely a kid calling him. This might be a first for him, and he’s been on the receiving end of some interesting calls for the last six years.

“Hello, Henry. How can I help you tonight?”

There’s a cough on the other end of the line, and Killian thinks the call is about to be disconnected until the kid starts speaking again.

“My mom doesn’t have a boyfriend.”

Bloody hell. The kid is calling about his mum. Killian at least thought it was maybe going to be something regarding a dance at school or his first crush or anything that Killian could easily answer.

Then again, how was any question a kid was going to ask him ever going to be easy? He has exactly zero experience with children.

Well, no, he is pretty good with Roland. That counts for something.

“Well, lad, I think quite a few mums don’t have boyfriends. Are you looking for her to have one?”

“Yeah. I mean, look, I have a dad, but he and my mom have never been together. I don’t think they’re ever going to get together like that Ashely lady you just helped. My dad has a girlfriend, and I really feel like my mom would be happier if she had someone, too.”

“That is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard,” Ariel says.

He holds up his fingers at her again.

“Henry, that’s very kind of you to be so concerned about your mum. I can tell she’s raised a good kid in you, but I think this might be a situation where you have to let adults be adults. Maybe your mum is happy with it only being the two of you. She might not want a boyfriend.”

Henry sighs, and Killian already knows he’s told the kid the exact opposite of what he wanted to hear. Shit.

“She does want one. I heard her talking about this guy she likes to my aunt. He lives in our building.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah. I mean, I’ve never seen him. I think he works at night like she does, but I know she said that he was cute.”

Killian chuckles and runs his hand over his scruff. This kid has got such good intentions, and really, Killian doesn’t want to let him down.

Maybe his hangover is screwing with his mind a little too much.

“Alright, Henry, I want you to listen really closely, aye?”

“Okay.”

“Your mum, if she likes this man, is going to have to tell him. Now, she might have already, but she could be keeping it quiet for a little while until she knows that he’s more than cute. But she also might not talk to him, and that’s a very real possibility. So, I think for you, Henry, the best thing to do is know that your mum doesn’t have to have a boyfriend to be happy. She’s got you in her life, and it sounds like you’re already her best man.”

“So what am I supposed to do?” he asks, defeated.

“Keep being a good kid. Do your homework, pick up your bedroom, eat your vegetables, keep making your mum smile. I can guarantee you’ll make her happy doing those things.”

“How do you know? Do you have kids?”

Killian chuckles and looks over to Ariel who has got the biggest grin on her face. “I don’t, but I have a friend with a son, and he loves when his son cleans up and behaves well.”

“Yeah, my mom is happy when I clean up, too.”

“Exactly,” Killian sighs. “Now, I think it might be time for you to go to bed. I don’t want you to get in trouble with your mum.”

“I’m at my dad’s. She doesn’t know I’m on the phone.”

“She’s a mother. She has her ways of knowing all.”

“Oh crap,” Henry gulps. “I’ve got to go. Bye.”

And then the phone line goes dead. “Well, that was certainly one of my favorite calls,” Killian says into the microphone with a slight chuckle, “now here’s the new James Taylor. Enjoy. I’ll be back for more calls soon.”

-/-

The thing about working at night is that when Killian goes places, they’re mostly empty. The gym has only a few night owls spread out across the machines, the roads are barren, grocery stores are ghost towns except for teenagers wandering around and a few people in their pajamas picking up medicine or other emergency supplies.

But then there’s him getting eggs and milk and having the entire frozen foods aisle to himself.

Well, almost.

There’s a woman standing a few feet down from him staring intently at the section of ice cream. She’s got long, blonde hair that’s curled and falls down her back, and the dress she’s wearing is sinful. It’s short and red, hugging every single curve of her body, and while he would expect her to have heels on, she doesn’t. Instead she’s wearing a well-loved pair of trainers, shoelaces tucked in instead of tied, and whoever she was wearing heels for is long gone.

If the ice cream perusal and last-minute change of shoes are any indication.

He wants to ask if she’s alright, but he knows that’s the lack of sleep talking and the fact that he’s spent the last few hours giving advice on the radio and listening to nearly every love song in existence. Killian isn’t an idiot, however, and he knows better than to approach a woman in the middle of the night. He’ll look like a stalker or someone trying to hurt her, and that’s not something he ever wants to do.

Being a gentleman and all that.

But then she turns, and he recognizes her.

She lives in his apartment complex, and God help him, he’s stared at her as she walks across the lobby who knows how many times. They obviously run in the same kind of circles, but he must have been missing her lately. It’s been weeks since he’s caught a glance at her, and that’s probably for the best. Nothing good can come of him admiring a woman he doesn’t know.

Nothing good can come of him admiring a woman for more than one night.

Killian quickly grabs a frozen pizza and a few healthier options even if he doesn’t think frozen meals can ever truly be healthy, and takes his basket to the front of the store where he’s checked out by the same older woman that rings him up every time he comes in here. She wears a different name tag each time, and she never corrects him when he calls her by the name. Today she’s Barbara, and she grunts her usual pleasantries before handing him back his bags.

He makes a last-minute decision to get a soda from the vending machine outside. He won’t drink it now, but it’ll be nice to tide him over between cups of coffee tomorrow. The machine eats his first dollar but accepts the second, and by the time he has a Diet Coke in his hand, his neighbor is also outside the store and heading back toward the parking lot as he does the same.

They pull out at the same time, but she gets on the road first. There are no other drivers out and about, and while Killian usually listens to something, his brain is too tired to listen to another song or a podcast or his follow-up host who is always far too chipper for such an awful time slot. The woman’s yellow bug pulls into a street parking spot, and he takes the one behind her, getting out with his groceries and his bag from work before walking toward the front entrance and hitting in the code. Only after he gets inside does the woman bother to get out and follow him inside.

Maybe she doesn’t recognize him in the way that he recognizes her.

“You dropped your gum.”

Killian stops and turns around at the sound of her voice.

“What?”

“Your gum.” She holds up a small container of his preferred-flavor. “It fell out of your bag onto the sidewalk outside.”

Killian looks down in his bag, sees that the gum is missing, and then steps forward to take it out of her hand. “Thank you, love. I appreciate that. Did you decide on a flavor of ice cream?”

Her eyes widen, and he can now see how unbelievably green they are. But he can also see the purple bags underneath them and the redness from an obvious lack of sleep.

What the hell is wrong with him? Why is he still analyzing her when he has now informed her that he was bloody staring at her in the store?

He very obviously needs to go to bed.

“Rocky Road.”

“Ah, I’m more of a fruit flavored ice cream man myself, but rocky road is a great choice.”

“Yeah, I think so.”

Silence falls between them, and Killian thinks now is the time for both of them to turn their separate ways and never speak again. Tonight is simply two ships passing in the night, and they’ll rarely cross paths this closely again.

Unless…

“Killian Jones, 407.”

Her lips press into a straight line. “Emma Swan.”

He doesn’t fail to notice she doesn’t give her apartment number, but really, no sane person should be giving that out to a near stranger. He is apparently no longer sane. “Well, it’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Swan. I’ll let you go so your ice cream doesn’t melt.”

“It was nice to meet you, too. I hope you enjoy the, uh, gum.”

Killian bites his tongue to keep from chuckling. “Goodnight, love.”

-/-

Ariel sends him a link.

It’s to a Buzzfeed article about a kid calling into a radio show and telling the host that his mom has a crush on her neighbor and he wants to help her find a boyfriend. There are a Sleepless in Seattle gifs and references all throughout the article, and when Killian keeps scrolling, he sees tweets about the show and about Henry calling in.

Killian doesn’t use his own Twitter. He lets Ariel do it, so it takes him a few minutes to log in and get adjusted to the format that’s different than the last time he used it.

And to the fact that he’s got more notifications and followers than he’s ever had.

Is this all because of that one call?

He knows his program is popular, but it’s mostly popular in the greater Portland area with a few other cities picking it up. He’s got a podcast on Spotify that he does every week, and he knows that he works to get more listeners. This is a job he accidentally got into after working at a station at university, and he still thinks it can all be a load of shit, but a man’s got to make a living.

But this? Going viral over a call with a kid?

This was unexpected.

He immediately calls Ariel.

“Isn’t it awesome?” she screeches into the phone before he can even say hello. “Your social media following has gone up by 80%, and that’s just been in the five hours since that article was posted. Oh my gosh, we’re going to have to follow back up with this. Maybe we can get Henry back on the phone, and maybe we can somehow talk to the mom and have her talk to her neighbor. People would lose their minds.”

“A, I think you’re losing your mind. Calm down.”

“When in the history of telling me to calm down have I ever calmed down?”

Killian sighs and rolls over on his bed. “We cannot exploit this woman’s feelings for more ratings. I’m not doing that.”

“What do you mean? We do things like that all the time.”

“We do not think up segments and try to force someone to talk to their neighbor who they have feelings for. People call in for advice, for who knows what reason, and it’s their choice to take it or not. I do not force it on anyone.”

Ariel grumbles something unintelligible on the other end of the line. “I hate when you get all moral on me.”

“I like to think I’m always moral.”

“I’ve known you for ten years, Jones. I know that’s not true.”

His eyes shut and he runs his hand over his face, trying to rub away all of the memories that are trying to come back. He has no idea what time it is, but he knows that it’s too bloody early for all of that.

“Look, the kid’s mom doesn’t know we called. He’s going to get grounded for weeks if we call back. I want to do it off-air, approve it ahead of time, and if the lass says no, that’s it. We can still talk about it on-air, but we’re not going to invade her privacy.”

“As your producer, I think you’re missing an opportunity. As your friend, I think you’re doing the right thing.”

“And that’s the balance we always seem to strike.

-/-

No one answers when Ariel calls.

She is crushed.

He is relieved.

Every caller that night mentions his call with Henry.

Ariel says it’s the highest numbers they’ve had in years.

-/-

She’s at the grocery store again.

She’s looking at ice cream once more while he picks out another frozen pizza. He’s desperately got to get back into cooking actual meals again.

It’s been two weeks since he last saw her, and yet again, she’s in a tight dress, her hair and makeup perfectly done, but her feet are clothed in trainers.

“Run out of the last batch?”

She jumps at the sound of his voice, but then her shoulders fall and her head hangs down. “Ice cream doesn’t last long in my place. I should really buy the bigger containers, but then I’ll eat all of it at once and none of my clothes will fit.”

“So you simply buy a new, small container every few weeks?”

“Every week, but I try not to think about it too much.”

Killian chuckles, and he thinks there’s a small smile peeking at the corner of her lips. “Have you tried the Banana Split? I know you’re a Rocky Road kind of lass, but I have it on good authority that it’s an excellent flavor.”

She leans back against the glass and raises her brow. “Oh, really? Who told you that?”

“A very dashing man.” His brows move up and down on their own accord, and he knows he manages getting a smile from her all on his own this time. “I’ll buy you a pint, my treat.”

“I can buy my own ice cream.”

“Yeah, but I’m suggesting it, and if you don’t like it, I don’t want you having spent your money on it.” He opens the door she’s not leaning against, grabs two pints of the banana split, and then hands her one. “Have one on me, Swan.”

Her eyes roll, but she takes it. “Thank you.”

-/-

He sees her next the next day at the mailboxes in their lobby. It’s a different look for her, leggings and a sports bra with her hair pulled into a baseball cap, and she waves as he passes by before mentioning how much she liked the ice cream.

“Good” is all he manages to say in response.

-/-

Killian has off from the radio Saturday night. The station has moved him to only weekdays, so he tries to keep as normal of a schedule as possible. He wakes around eight, texts Liam to see how he’s been doing, goes to the gym, runs a few errands, and then is back in his apartment and doing laundry a little after noon. He sets up his equipment to do his podcast, and once that’s finished, he’s a free man.

A free man with no plans.

Scarlet is working at the bar, it’s Rob’s weekend with Roland, and Ariel and Eric are out of town for the weekend. He could call Liam again, but it’s nearly midnight in England now. Liam and Elsa are probably asleep.

Damn.

But maybe it’ll be nice to have a day to himself where he can catch up on whatever shows he’s been missing while straightening up the place. It probably needs a good deep cleaning, and he doesn’t know how he’s let it get as bad as he has. Liam’s Navy tendencies definitely rubbed off on Killian, and he desperately wants to curse his brother every time he spends far too long making his bed.

Killian puts Ozark on the television and starts cleaning, dusting the bookshelves and folding throw blankets before shifting around some of the records on the shelf opposite his books. Soon, it’s evening, and he stops wiping down his kitchen countertops to grab a pizza out of the freezer and pop it into the oven. When it’s finished, he nearly takes it to the couch to eat, but at the last moment, he decides to take his plate and his beer up to the apartment’s roof so he can eat at one of the picnic tables there and enjoy the early fall weather.

There are a few other people sitting around in the lounge chairs and at the table, and the elderly couple that lives on the first floor is tending to the garden they’ve set up that is producing the last of its goods. Killian nods at them before finding an almost empty table and settling down there.

“What kind of pizza is that?”

Killian finishes chewing his bite and turns to the kid sitting at the opposite end of the table. He’s ten, at most, and is wearing a Red Sox cap that’s too big for his head.

“Pepperoni,” Killian mumbles. “What are you eating?”

“My mom is making us hamburgers, but she’s making me eat a salad first. It’s gross.”

“Oh, come on now, a salad isn’t gross. You need your vegetables.”

The kid groans and leans back in his chair. “Are you just saying that because you’re an adult and that’s what you’re supposed to say?”

“Are adults supposed to say things like that, lad?”

He reluctantly picks a piece of lettuce off of his plate and puts it in his mouth. “My mom and my aunt say I have to eat vegetables. I don’t believe them.”

Killian chuckles and looks down to his plate, which has a distinct lack of vegetables. It’s his cheat day, but still, some lettuce wouldn’t kill him.

It’d do the opposite if it does what he’s telling this kid it does.

“I promise, vegetables are good for you. You’ve simply got to find some you like. I’m a fan of carrots and spinach. Have you ever had eggplant? You can make eggplant taste like a pizza if you want. The same with cauliflower.”

The kid’s nose scrunches up. “Is that what your pizza is made of?”

“No,” he laughs, “no, it’s not.”

“Henry, have you finished your – oh.”

Killian looks up at the sound of her voice, and that’s when he sees her. Today, her hair is in a set of double braids, she has on a white tank top and jeans that seem much more relaxed than her usual attire, and she’s holding a tray with several hamburgers on top of them.

God, she’s stunning.

Is this…is this her son?

And did she call him Henry?

Bloody hell.

This is the Henry from the phone call. He thought the kid sounded familiar when he first started talking, but he didn’t think too much of it. There was no way that the kid who called him and has had his show blow up with views and calls over the past few weeks lived in Killian’s apartment complex, and there’s really no way that his mum is Emma Swan.

What are the odds?

And who the hell in this apartment complex does Emma fancy?

No, no, that’s not any of his business, but he might need to tell the woman that her son is calling into radio shows.

Wait.

If Henry knows about his show, odds are he knows who Killian is. The little rascal.

“Hello, love,” Killian greets, flashing Emma a smile. “Your son here was just telling me about how he doesn’t like his vegetables.”

Her eyes roll, and she seems to unfreeze from the way she was stiffly standing above them. “We’re currently having a stalemate over vegetables, but Henry has to eat his salad before he can have his cheeseburger.”

“Mom.”

“Kid.”

“I don’t like it.”

“Henry, this is not a negotiation. Just because your dad didn’t make you eat any when you visited him doesn’t mean you don’t need them.”

Henry angrily stabs his fork at a few pieces and stuffs them in his mouth before Emma sits down and places the tray between them. “So, you decided to eat dinner up here, too?”

“Aye. I figured I’d enjoy the weather. I didn’t realize so many other people would have the same thought.”

“Everyone, apparently. Oh, the Banana Split ice cream was fantastic. Between the two of us, we ate it in a day.”

“It’s soooo much better than Rocky Road,” Henry mumbles with lettuce in between his teeth.

“It is rather good, isn’t it?”

“It’s great. Do you, uh, do you want a burger? I have extras.”

“Oh, I couldn’t impose, lass. I have my pizza.”

“You have frozen pizza that’s not even the good brand. Please, have a burger. There’s no way Henry and I will finish them all, and I had to do something with the meat before it went bad.”

Killian looks between his pizza and the burgers. They smell delicious, and really, he can have the pizza later. It’s just as good cold.

“I would love one, Swan.”

“Perfect.”

It’s surprisingly comfortable to sit and eat dinner with Emma and her son considering he barely knows them. He and Emma have spoken a few times over the past few weeks, but it was simple pleasantries. It wasn’t anything like learning that Henry is in the third grade and that Emma works in bail bonds, which explains her late nights. She doesn’t say anything definite, but he gathers that Henry’s father is barely in the picture despite Henry staying with him a few times recently, and while he’s curious, it’s none of his business.

She’s not asking him about his relationships, so really, what business does he have thinking about hers?

In the light of day, she seems kinder and less reserved than she is when he usually sees her. Happier, even.

“So what do you do?” Emma asks as she dabs her mouth with a napkin. “I forgot to ask earlier.”

“He’s on the radio,” Henry says.

And then the kid’s eyes go wide, and it seems that Henry has realized his mistake.

“And how do you know that?”

“Uhhhh, he said so.”

“I don’t believe he did. Do you listen to his show or something? Did you listen to him at your dad’s?”

“No.”

“Then how?”

“I have to go to the bathroom,” Henry squeals before scrambling off the bench. “Can I have the key?”

Emma’s eyes narrow, but she still digs into her pocket and hands him the keys. “Do you have your phone with you?”

“Mhm. I’ll call you if I’m in danger.”

“Good. Now go even though I know you’re faking it.”

He giggles, but he takes the keys, quickly running to the door that takes him down the stairs. Killian can’t stifle his laughter, and Emma turns to look at him with her lips pressed into a straight line.

“Okay, what kind of radio show do you have, and why is my kid listening to it?”

Killian sighs and takes a sip of his beer. “I have a show that’s on between nine and two, at night of course, and people unfortunately call me ‘The Love Doctor.’”

“You’re not serious.”

“Oh, no, love, I unfortunately am. In between songs, people call in and ask for relationship advice, they share stories, we bring in experts, all of that, and, well, your son happened to call me a few weeks ago because he wants his mum to have a boyfriend. I, of course, did not know that the lad who called was your Henry until I met him an hour ago.”

The firm line of Emma’s lips has turned into a gaping, exasperated smile. “He did what now?”

Killian’s hand reaches up to scratch behind his ear. “He called. He said that you fancied someone in the building, and he wanted you to be happy. It was truly rather sweet. It’s been getting the show all kinds of attention, so I can get you a copy of the call if you want.”

Her cheeks are suddenly tinted with a beautiful shade of red, but they’re quickly hidden away by her palms. “Oh my God. Oh my God. He called in a show and asked for help getting me a boyfriend?”

“I was extremely charmed. My producer tried to call him back, so we could all talk off-air. He didn’t answer, and he probably knows he’s been caught in the act. That’s likely why he suddenly had to run to the restroom.”

Emma groans and leans down, burying her face in her hands as she mumbles something unintelligible. “How long ago was it?”

“About two weeks.”

“Fuck. That’s when he was with his dad, who apparently has a new girlfriend. That’s got to be why he called. I don’t – just, oh my God.” She finally looks back up at him, peeking through her fingers. “What did you tell him?”

“I told him to leave the adult things to the adults and to keep being a good kid because it sounded like he was a really good kid.”

“He is. Like, far better than I deserve. I didn’t think he’d be calling radio stations, though. I’m going to have to talk to him about this.”

Killian nods over Emma’s shoulder. “I think he’s decided to brave your wrath and come back.”

Henry sheepishly walks back up to the table and slides onto the seat. “Can we go get some more ice cream?”

-/-

Killian eats dinner with them again the next Saturday. It’s a coincidence once more, but this time they’re the only ones on the roof and choose to still sit together. Henry tells him about his week at school and fills in things Emma has told him about her work. Though, he already knew about some of it when they both got back to the apartment at the same time Wednesday night and talked for a few minutes.

It becomes a tradition of sorts, their Saturday afternoon meals. He offers to cook the next week, Emma offers the week after that, and he finds himself writing down new plans on his calendar for the foreseeable future. He doesn’t dare tell Ariel that he found their kid caller and his mum or that he would now call the both of them friends, but he does tell Liam.

Liam cannot stop laughing over the phone, but it’s still better than the all-consuming meltdown Ariel would have.

And really, Killian can’t blame him for his reaction. The two of them both know that Killian has been set in his routines for the past few years. He used to be more carefree, used to be capable of being a little more spontaneous, but then Milah died and having a routine was really the only thing that kept him sane.

It still is.

Even if he’s finding new things, or rather, new people, to fit into his routine.

-/-

“Killian, do you like Harry Potter?”

“I love Harry Potter. Why? Are you reading it?”

“We read it at night,” Emma explains as she puts a plate in front of Henry. He scrunches his nose up at the sight of peas, but it quickly passes. “We’re on the second one.”

“The Chamber of Secrets,” Henry says. “We’re almost finished, and I want to go buy the third one, but Mom won’t let me.”

“Well, do you have to have it before you’ve finished the second one? Then you might be tempted to read the next one ahead of time.”

“I promise I won’t.”

“Henry, can you go and get your Lego set from your room? Didn’t you want to show Killian the pirate ship you’re building?”

“What about my food?”

“It’ll still be here when you get back.”

He narrows his eyes at his mother. “Don’t eat my roll.”

“I’m not going to.” Emma crosses her fingers over her heart, this thing he’s noticed the two of them do. “Now, go.”

He nods and runs off before Emma turns her attention back to Killian. “He’s getting the box set of the books for Christmas, but he won’t stop pestering me about needing the third book right now. I’ve just got to hold him off for another week, but damn if it isn’t hard.”

Killian chuckles and stands from the table in order to fix his own plate, grabbing an extra roll to split with Henry. “Did he not put the books on his list for Santa? I know he was writing a letter.”

“No, he put things like a motorcycle and his very own airplane on his list for Santa. Luckily, there were a few more accessible things, too.”

Killian hums in response and rejoins Emma at the table. “I hope it’s alright, love, but I may have gotten the boy a notebook and some new colored pencils. He’s always drawing with mine when we have dinner there, and I figured it would be nice. But if you think that’s inappropriate, I can return them.”

“Killian, no,” she sighs as she reaches over and covers her hand with his, “that’s not inappropriate at all. That’s…I mean, that’s really sweet. I – ”

“You what?”

Her lips are parted into a pretty pink smile, but Killian can’t seem to focus on that. Instead, his attention is still drawn to the way her palm is resting against his knuckles and how he can feel each stroke of her thumb. This might be the first time Emma’s ever touched him, and there’s a heat that sparks along his skin and down his spine, settling in the pit of his stomach even as it swirls around.

Is this?

Is he?

Are they?

No.

“Killian, look!” Henry comes parading back in the room with a large ship made entirely out of Legos. “Look at this. Didn’t you say your brother has a big ship?”

“He does, but I don’t think it’s nearly as magnificent as this one. This is bloody brilliant, lad!”

“Yeah?”

“Of course. Did you do this by yourself?”

He shrugs, but there’s no denying the beam in his smile. “Yeah, but I followed the instructions. Do you want to see those?”

“Maybe after dinner, okay? We wouldn’t want your peas to get cold. I’m pretty sure you’ve grown at least a foot since you started eating vegetables, and we can’t stop that.”

“I’ve grown three inches this year.”

“Well, only a few more to go.”

-/-

It’s Christmas when Killian realizes he may possibly fancy Emma.

(When he realizes that he definitely does.)

(Without a doubt.)

He eats breakfast with Liam and Elsa over FaceTime and then goes to have lunch with Ariel and Eric before they travel to see Ariel’s parents for dinner. Will is out of town meeting Belle’s family, and Robin always spends Christmas in New York with Roland’s grandparents.

Killian should have gotten a ticket and flown home this year, but he was saving the money to be able to visit after Elsa gives birth in May.

It’s fine. This isn’t the first holiday he’s spent mostly alone, and it certainly won’t be the last.

He’s one glass of rum into one of his nicest bottles when there’s a knock at his door. It’s Emma and Henry. They’re both in pajamas, neither of their heads of hair tamed, and they’re holding a tray full of cookies with several Harry Potter movies stacked on top.

“Do you have a DVD player?”

-/-

ES: Did someone really call into your show asking how to choose between their wife and their mistress?

KJ: Indeed.

ES: I have got to listen to this thing. It seems like it can’t even be real.

KJ: I promise you that my show is real. And you really should listen to it. I know you like the sound of my voice.

ES: You keep on thinking that.

KJ: You know I’m on air now, right? You could always turn on the radio.

ES: I’m sitting in a restaurant, not a car. I need to focus.

KJ: And you don’t consider texting a distraction?

ES: Shut up.

His headset beeps, and Killian looks up from his phone to his computer screen to see that they have a new caller.

“Hello, this is Radio 105, and you’re speaking to the Love Doctor. How can I help you tonight?”

“Killian!”

Oh shit.

Henry.

“Killian, I need help! My mom is on a date tonight.”

“Woah, woah, woah,” Killian sighs as he glances to Ariel and starts slashing his hand across his neck. He needs her to turn the call off, to go to commercial or something, but she’s not paying any damn attention to him. This is why he needs access to the full set of controls. “Lad, I need you to take a deep breath for me, okay? Can you do that? Like your mum tells you to do when you’re upset.”

“One,” Henry says. “Two. Three.”

“Good,” Killian says. “Now, can you please calmly tell me what’s going on?”

“My mom dropped me off at my dad’s house, and she was in a nice dress. She told my dad she had something to do, and later I heard him say that my mom was going on a date. But you’re at work, so she can’t be going on a date! She can’t go on a date when she likes you!”

Killian nearly knocks his coffee all of the controls.

Bloody hell.

“Oh. My. God.” Ariel screeches into his headphones.

Great. Now she’s paying attention.

“Oh my God, oh my God, oh holy hell.”

He turns to her and motions for her to cut the call again, and she finally gets the hint and presses a few buttons until he sees that a song just started playing. He’s going to get hell for that, but he cannot have this conversation live on-air with Henry. He simply can’t.

“Henry, are you still there?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, good, so I need you to listen to me, yeah? Can you do that, lad?”

“I’m listening.”

“Your mum isn’t on a date. She’s working. You know how she has to get dressed up for work sometimes, aye?”

“Sometimes.”

“And you don’t spend that much time with your dad, so he probably doesn’t know that. But besides, Emma is an adult she can date whoever she wants to. Why would it have to be me?”

“Because you’re the guy she likes. From the first time I called. I didn’t know it was you, but it is. And I know she still likes you because she’s always asking you to dinner and texting you. She told Mary Margaret that she likes you, so she can’t date someone else. I don’t want her to date anyone else.”

“Hey, hey, Henry,” Killian soothes. His heart is beating a mile a minute, and his head is going in several different directions, but he can’t focus on himself right now. “It’s okay. You’re okay. Listen, I don’t know if your mum and I are ever going to go on a date, but I’m always going to be your friend. I’ll keep cooking dinner and reading books with you. We’ll go to the aquarium next week. Are you still wanting to do that?”

“Yeah,” he meekly whispers. “But I really want you to be my mom’s boyfriend.”

“Can I tell you a secret? I really want to be your mum’s boyfriend, too, but that’s not a decision just I can make. It’s up to her, too.”

Henry sighs, and Killian can so easily imagine him laying across his bed in the dark at Neal’s house. His nose is probably scrunched up just like Emma’s does when she’s frustrated, and if he had to bet, he’d say that Henry’s legs are dangling off and just barely touching the ground.

“Are you going to pick me up on Friday?”

“I will be at school waiting for you, lad. I promise. Now, go to bed before you get in trouble, and I will put my number in your phone so you can call me without having to call the show next time. Goodnight, Henry.”

“Goodnight, Killian.”

As soon as the phone line goes dead, Killian leans down and buries his face in his hands. He hears the studio door click open, a chair’s wheel creak, and he knows Ariel is in front of him without bothering to open his eyes.

“So, were you just never going to tell me that the woman and her kid who you’ve been hanging out with for the past seven months is the same woman and kid who made your show famous?”

“I didn’t know when he called.”

“What?”

“When he first called, I didn’t know who he was. He didn’t know who I was either. I’d seen Emma around the apartment a few times, but then we started running into each other at the grocery store after we both got off work. I figured it out when we were all eating dinner on the roof maybe two weeks after the call. I told Emma, so she knows, too. I just…this entire time I’ve assumed that the man she fancied was someone else. I never would have assumed it was me, but Henry? Henry says that it’s me.”

Ariel’s hand rests on his knee and squeezes. “Killian Jones, you are a catch, and that woman would be a fool not to be with you. What are you going to do?”

“God, I don’t know.” He takes a deep breath and leans back to run his hands through his hair and pinch the bridge of his nose. How the hell does he give people advice when his own life is such a mess? “I need to talk to Emma, tell her what Henry called me about. He was pretty freaked out. I can’t start anything with her without considering him. I don’t know how to navigate this. I should. Milah had a son, but she never let me meet him. I don’t know. I don’t know if I have any idea what I’m doing.”

“To me, it sounds like you know exactly what you’re doing.” She taps his knee once more. “We’ve got to finish the show. There’s only so much air-time I can fill with songs and me doing the commercial breaks. Do you think you can finish?”

All he does is nod.

-/-

Emma is waiting for him outside his apartment door.

She’s in her preferred red dress that she wears when she does one of her honeytraps, but she doesn’t have on the heels. Or her trainers. Instead, she’s without shoes, the heels flung next to her purse on the ground, and she’s got what looks like a takeout bag in the middle of all of it.

“Swan?”

She looks up and blinks. “I’m sorry. I am so, so sorry. I didn’t think he would do that again. It’s your job, and he shouldn’t have messed it up like that. I’ve got to give him your number so he can call you directly. He should already have it since you pick him up from school sometimes, but I didn’t think. I didn’t – ”

“Hey, hey, hey,” he soothes as he steps up to her and places his hands on her shoulders. His fingers trail over her skin, pushing the loose strands back until he’s tucking the ones around her face behind her ears so he can see her eyes. He’s never quite gotten over how green they are. “Henry didn’t do anything wrong. How do you know that he even called?”

“They had your show on in the restaurant I was waiting for my skip in. That’s why I texted you about the whole wife versus mistress thing. But was I literally putting the handcuffs on my skip as I heard my son’s voice freaking out about me being on a date. He knows I dress up for work sometimes. I don’t know why he let Neal get into his head like that.”

“Neal is his dad. He’s going to be influenced by him.”

Emma scoffs and leans forward until her forehead is resting against his nose. “Neal is going to break his heart one day. I just know it. He’s only been in his life for two years, and he’s already screwed up so many times. Henry just hasn’t realized it yet.”

“Henry is going to be just fine. He’s an excellent lad.”

“What kind of excellent lad calls into radio shows to talk about his mom’s dating life? He literally told you…oh my God, Killian, he told you that I liked you, didn’t he?”

He laughs into her hair and kisses the top of her head while his hands run up and down her back. Emma’s hands move up his back, nails scratching through his t-shirt. When did they get there?

More importantly, can they stay?

“He did.”

“Just lock me in my apartment forever. I’m ready to die of embarrassment.”

“Now, Swan, don’t do that. You’re not the first woman to fancy me. I’ve been told that I’m devilishly handsome after all.”

“Shut up.”

“No, no, I can’t, and after all, I have the same feelings for you.”

“You think I’m devilishly handsome?”

Killian chuckles into her hair once more before lifting her chin with the tip of his finger so he can see those green, green eyes once more.

“I think you’re beautiful, and I also think that I like you just as much as your son says you like me.”

He doesn’t even care that he sounds like he’s in primary school.

“Yeah, but – ”

There’s no point in bothering to let Emma finish her protest. She’s going to doubt his words, and really, if he’s learned anything about Emma in the past few months, it’s that she’s a woman who likes action over pretty words and promises. She likes for someone who is going to show up when he says he will and who isn’t going to back down.

Kissing her seems like pretty much the only way to tell her that he has no intentions of backing down.

Emma’s words are caught by his lips, and the first thing he feels is the vibration of them before she stops talking and settles her lips with his. They’re exactly as soft as they look, softer possibly, and the hairs on the back of Killian’s neck stand up as he realizes that this feeling, this euphoria, is him kissing Emma Swan.

He groans when she fully opens her mouth to him, the warmness of her melting into him, and his fingers find purchase in her hair, tugging and tilting just like he wants to. His tongue drags along her lip as her hairs fall over his neck and slip into his hair, tugging and pulling in her own way.

One other thing he knows about Emma is that she is not afraid to take charge.

But Killian likes that, too, likes getting what he wants, and right now all he can think about is backing Emma up to his door and kissing her in the way that she deserves to be kissed. Her tongue is warm when it slides against his. It’s a wet slide of heat and what he thinks is the slightest hint of whiskey and chocolate, but mostly, it’s all Emma. She’s kissing him exactly how he wants to be kissing her, and the heat between them simmers along his skin and down his spine until it settles.

If this is what kissing Emma Swan is like, he doesn’t know why he didn’t find the courage sooner.

Because he didn’t want to mess the first good thing he’s found in a long, long time. That’s why.

She pulls away with a gasp, but he can’t stop kissing her, can’t stop pressing his hips into hers and feeling the way she groans. His teeth drag along her jaw and her neck until he settles at her ear, and the sound she makes is so damn delectable that he loses his own breath. That’s only for a moment, though, because then she’s opening her legs so he can settle into her space while he’s licking the lobe of her ear and groaning himself.

“Oh my God.”

“I’m very tempted to make an awful joke right now, love.”

She laughs at the same time that her hips press down against his hardening length, and she’s definitely trying to kill him.

“I have a ten-year-old. I’m used to the bad jokes.”

The thought of Henry sobers Killian, and he noses at Emma’s collarbone and the swell of the top of her breast before pulling himself up and putting enough space between them so he can look into her eyes and speak without his lips brushing against hers.

He does not, however, remove his hand from her ass.

He is, decidedly, not always the gentleman he claims to be.

“We can stop right now, Emma,” he tells her. “We can stop right now, and things will go back to how they were. I told Henry earlier that I will always be his friend, and I think right now, I need to tell you the same. No matter what happens from this point forward.”

Emma swallows and nods, but her fingertips are still brushing against the nape of his neck. It feels fucking fantastic, and he doesn’t know what he’ll do if it all stops.

“If someone else said that to me, I don’t think I’d believe it, but with you, I do.” Her head tilts back against the door, and she smiles that beautiful smile of hers. “And if you ever do something to hurt that kid’s feelings, I will kill you.”

“Of that, I have no doubt, darling.”

“Good. Now stop talking and take me inside your apartment. I want to get your pants off.”

He arches his brow. “Is that so?”

“Yeah,” she laughs with a role of her hips. “Yeah, I do.”

-/-

“Well,” Killian sighs into the microphone, “it’s been quite a night, hasn’t it? I hope everyone has found the clarity they needed for their relationships, no matter where those relationships stand. I also hope you’ve heard some damn good music.”

The instrumental music that plays him out at the end of every show starts coming to an end, and Killian smiles, knowing what’s waiting for him in a little over an hour.

“Oh, and one last thing. Does everyone remember our favorite kid caller, Henry? He’s been getting some frequent flier miles over here lately, hasn’t he? Well, I’m happy to report that his mother has that boyfriend now, the one in her apartment complex she fancied. I think Henry might be taking over my name as The Love Doctor.”

#Anonymous #cs prompts #cs ff #cs fic #cs fanfic #captain swan ff #captain swan fic #captain swan fanfic #captain swan

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hecohansen31 · 4 years

Text

Royally Screwed

Ivar+Princess! Reader (Modern AU)

(Secret Project: Happy Birthday Gabi!)

(A/N): Hello there lovelies!

We are all joined here together to celebrate @flowers-in-your-hayr‘s birthday!

So be sure to give the most beautiful and most talented moodboard creator ever a huge hug and wish her ‘Happy Birthday’ because she thoroughly deserve it.

We thought that to celebrate it writing you a few stories based on a few of your most beautiful moodboards (although it was rather difficult, because... I mean... THEY ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL).

I really really hope I have made justice to your beautiful creation!

Also this was a project created by the lovely @maggiescarborough give her a round of applause for her magnificient planning!

WARNINGS: Corny Stuff, Light Mentions to the ‘90s/00s, Not Correct Princess Etiquette and Ivar Just Being a Sassy Asshole).

Moodboard was created and is owned by @flowers-in-your-hayr

It had been a simple Friday night when a princess had entered in Ivar’s life.

But he hadn’t known it, in the slightest.

In the end, he wasn’t anything more than a store clerk at the Blockbuster his uncle Floki owned, since he needed money for college, because not only he had to deal with the absence of his father, but also his mother had recently passed away from a terrible illness, battling with addiction and its hold.

Any guy of his age would have been out, probably hooking up with somebody or taking part in the usual things that boys did when they were carefree and normal.

But Ivar had never been normal.

So, on Friday at 10 p.m. he was looking at the black and white screen of a security camera as he observed the last client of the night, before the typical porno-lovers came crashing in during his night shift.

Honestly, working at a Blockbuster taught you much more about people than a pyschology major could.

And Ivar who was graduating to become a psychanalyst certainly needed all the human expertise he could gain.

Usually at this hour, it was unusual that people entered the store, even more a pretty girl with everything that made her resemble Cher from ‘Clueless’, as she moved across the many sectors, sometimes pushing forward an hand to get a movie, before pushing it back in its place, as if the cover wasn’t what it promised from the plot, noted on its back.

He knew that he was a big creep for checking her out, but he didn’t trust pretty girls like you.

He had caught a few trying to slip DVDs, under their jackets, and it had been awful trying to confront them as they played the ‘dumb blondes’ act, meanwhile he sweated through his shirt because they had this look in them that made him feel beneath them.

It was always like that with pretty girls, for him.

Whether it’d be their pity or disgust, Ivar had never felt himself being treated like an equal.

Which had been all he had wanted, his entire life.

Luckily you didn’t slip anything in your jacket, and he was glad to see you exiting empty handed, probably having been called by your bootie call, at the last moment, because it honestly made no sense for you to be there, alone.

But she didn’t move to the exit door.

No, she moved to him.

Stopping right in front of the cash desk.

In front of him.

“Can I help you with something?” he kind of expected her to ask him some kind of dumb question, because of her entire material girl appeal, but he couldn’t help but notice the slight blush on her cheeks, clearly at unease.

Something the camera hadn’t caught.

“I have been…” she bit her lips, drawing them inside of her mouth, before releasing it in some kind of vapid gesture that would have made everybody else look like an old hag “… I was browsing through the movies and… I might need a hand to choose one”.

He kind of expected you to push him in front of the eternal dilemma of watching for the umpteenth time ‘Spice Girl-The Movie’ or watching some awful corny romantic shit that was so ‘en vogue’ these days.

“… I am more than happy to help” he knew his face said the opposite of what he had told her, but he just wanted to go back to the paper he had been filling for a college class, before you had come there.

Floki had once told me that he should have tried ‘to be nicer’ to clients.

But they all took a good look at Ivar’s legs and they’d be bought.

‘Of course, he is an asshole and shit store clerk…’ they’d say exiting the shop ‘… with those legs… poor him’.

And it just made him be meaner towards clients.

But he was in for a surprise.

Because behind your material girl attitude you exited two movies: ‘Notting Hill’ and ‘Dirty Dancing’, not exactly something that completely distanced you from his initial thoughts of you, but he couldn’t deny that the vintage options definitely surprised him.

“I have never watched either of them” she commented, softly, almost ashamed and Ivar couldn’t help but lower lightly his harsh glare trying to soften its edges.

It was obvious that as much as he hated ‘party girls’, he had misjudged you.

You didn’t seem the type who’d make Ivar life a living hell, if he refused to accept back DVDs smeared with lipsticks.

“Can’t take them both?” he simply blurted out because you seemed loaded from your wardrobe.

“Ahem… I…” she blushed so graciously that Ivar honestly hadn’t the heart to keep the teasing, and lowered his harsh gaze “… my brothers think that I am already a nerd for coming here, if I came back with more than one movie, well they…”.

“I do know something about brothers teasing you” he muttered, as she smiled so openly that it made him smirk lightly and he then proceeded to shift his attention away from your pretty naïve expression, because it was making him feel lightly sweaty…

… and blushy.

“I’d tell you that ‘Dirty Dancing’ is a classic, undoubtedly one of the trashest things to pass a night…” he couldn’t help but adore the light giggle she let out, as she moved a finger in her hair, lightly twisting a strand of hair against it, and ok…

… Ivar had always hated it when girls did, but Gosh… you were adorable.

“… but?” you asked, softly, understanding that he was stalling, as he grabbed ‘Notting Hill’ from you.

“But this is the real shit” he commented.

He knew that he didn’t seem the type who enjoyed those movies, but one some days of his job he was left with nothing to do and he had watched an awful lot of movies, starting to develop a certain passion for a few of them.

Some even that certainly wouldn’t have been approved by the Lothbrock clan.

But she was a stranger, somebody he wouldn’t have ever seen again.

So, he could confess her all the qualities of Notting Hill, meanwhile she looked at him truly enthralled by what he said.

“… boy meets girl, except she is just a superstar actress, and then… they meet again and they fall out and… it certainly gives you a lot of reasons not go out with a public celebrity” he muttered, seeing that tic of biting her lips return, as she grimaced lightly at his words, but eventually she smiled at him, getting the money from her pockets to rent it.

“Ok, you got me hooked up on it”.

He moved to take the money as he registered the loan, but he caught her looking at the ‘Dirty Dancing’ DVD, as if she was extremely sad that she couldn’t take it home, alongside ‘Notting Hill’.

He damned himself for pretty girls and their twirling fingers, having everything wrapped around them.

“What if I push ‘Dirty Dancing’ aside for you?” he asked.

It wasn’t against any policy, but he usually didn’t do any favor to the clients, preferring to simply register their loans or what they had bought.

But he knew what it meant to ache for a little comfort, in life.

For a soft and free gentleness.

“Oh… is that possible?” she seemed honestly surprised he’d do it for her, as if people had never been selflessly gentle with her “Because if it is, I’d love that”.

“Don’t worry” he muttered, as he moved to push the DVD of ‘Dirty Dancing’ under the cash desk, taking a small piece of paper “… just give me a name and phone number”.

She seemed unsure, and he couldn’t blame her: he could be a creep simply asking for a phone number.

But she ended up giving it to him, as he registered it quickly, under her name and he then added the small paper inside the DVD box, again hiding under the cash desk, so that Floki would know that it wasn’t simply a mismatched edition.

“Thank you very much” her tone was again damnably genuine, and Ivar couldn’t fight against the small smirk that appeared on his face.

“Ahh don’t worry, everybody these days, is just interested in the umpteenth rerun of Beverly Hills 90210, so you haven’t made me lose any money” he replied, trying to seem the most detached he could “… just come back next week, letting me know how much your brothers enjoyed it”.

She erupted in a little giddy laughter and he honestly swore that there and then, his heart had stopped for a minute beating, before she took in the bag from his hand, after he had eased off the security measures and given her the small piece of paper with the return date.

“I do think that they’ll cry more than me” she muttered softly before she turned towards the door and Ivar felt like he could breathe again.

And then she twirled another time, the movement lightly making her skirt raise a bit, as he stole a sneaky glance at your thighs.

Gosh, Hvitserk was right, he had a problem.

“Have a nice night!”.

Hadn’t he been smitten with her, already, he’d just have replied something torturously awful, such as ‘thank you, I’ll enjoy having to deal with couples looking a way to spice up their lives with awful porn videos’.

But he simply smiled, the creepiest smile he could deliver since he could see it on the reflecting surface of the glass doors of the shop, as he simply waved slowly his hand to salute her, and then she rushed outside, to an awaiting car.

An awaiting expensive car.

And Ivar fell back on his chair.

And thought about why the heck his heart wouldn’t stop beating that fast.

A few days later he was watching TV with that fucktard of Heahmund, his college roomie.

They hadn’t exactly chosen to be roommates, but Heahmund had been kicked out by too many religious confraternities to have the luxury of a choice.

So, Ivar had been assigned to him, because of his perfect behavior during his college years, hoping it’d influence the other man.

They had begrudgingly set up some rules, and although Ivar hadn’t still got used to Heahmund’s silly faith, they hadn’t killed each other in their sleep yet.

He was watching TV, as he tried to compile an email for his brothers to let them know that they should have worked harder to get back their legacy from Lagertha, who had screwed over their father and mother, and then he saw her, the girl from the store, on TV.

It was definitely because he recognized her thighs.

Gosh, he was a fucking pervert.

She was dressed in an elegant suit, with a tube skirt and an elegant white shirt, matched perfectly with the light blue of the entire ensemble and with your hair brought up in a rather royal hairstyle.

Perfect for the crown nestled on top of her head.

A glimmering tiara on it.

“Turn the fucking volume on” he muttered at a very stoned Heahmund, who was looking half-mindedly the TV, just shooting a confused look at Ivar, who just stole the TV remote from his hand to switch on the audio, catching right when a journalist moved to ask you in the secluded area of what looked like a non-American talk-show with subtitles.

And even your voice corresponded.

“So, you are going to America next week, am I right? Aren’t you excited?” the interviewer asked as if she was the more excited about it of the two, meanwhile the girl from the store (or maybe it was better to say ‘the princess from the store’) smiled awkwardly, definitely not at ease with the affectionate tone of the journalist.

“Yes, of course! I mean it’s America!” the laughter of her reply sounded so fake, that Ivar couldn’t help but be embarrassed at the awkwardness of the situation “… I am just glad to leave home for the first time”.

The last mumble still was sincere, and pretty quickly the interview was cut, bringing it to a more general scheme, which said it all about the mysterious princess of some strange country he had never heard of.

Born and raised inside of a palace, she had two older brothers to whom the crown wouldn’t have been passed down, since the line was transmitted through mother-to-daughter, and she’d be taking the crown at the age of twenty-five, replacing her father’s regency, after her mother’s death.

Why did it have to sound so much like ‘Cinderella’?

Unlike her brothers, she was known for being private about her life, having graduated in a private university in England, early, and being involved in a few humanitarian projects.

She’d be staying in America for a few weeks both to explore the country and to talk about modern matters with a few of politicians, to also expose the openness of her native country.

And Ivar had met you in the shithole of his uncle’s store.

He had always thought that Hugh Grant was a fucking idiot in ‘Notting Hill’ after he had met Julia Roberts’ character, but Gosh… he was glad he hadn’t you in front of him, in that moment, because he’d have probably asked her too if you wanted ‘peaches with honey’.

The focus of the reportage was now onto her again, changed in much more comfortable clothes, although they undoubtedly looked expensive.

She smiled at the camera and then bit her lips, lightly, but definitely showing she wasn’t used to this kind of attention on herself, and he couldn’t blame her, since he had the same problem with barely his family.

‘I really hope to find a second home in America” she closed the interview, waving softly her goodbyes with a soft kiss.

And then Heahmund had to ruin his fantasy.

“You know where you can find a new home? On my…” and before he could complete the awful phrase, Ivar hit him in his head with the remote “… ouch, what the fucking hell?!”.

“Next time be a gentleman” simply mumbled Ivar.

“Is that what your mommy taught you, Ivar dear?” grimaced Heahmund in a sickly sweet tone but Ivar didn’t accept the provocation, simply ignoring his roommate, who went back to his observing of the screen without no noise, as if he was trying to communicate with it.

He should have seriously thought about renting an apartment with Hvitserk, as his brother had suggested.

And he should have thought about having to face her again, with the knowledge that you were a princess.

That Friday night he had been secretly praying she wouldn’t show up, that the phone number was fake and that it was just a big trip of his stupid mind.

But she did show up, this time in a different mise: something like a mixed version between Madonna in her videoclip of ‘Like a Virgin’ and some grunge aesthetic mixed up with the inevitable touch of her ‘material girl’ appearance.

She immediately approached the cash clerk, saluting him as if he was an old friend.

And he, like an idiot, did the waving right back.

‘C’mon, Ivar it isn’t going to be so bad’ he tried to calm himself down ‘… just start a normal conversation, avoid mentioning that she is a princess and give her the damned DVD’.

“Hi” she mumbled softly as he moved to promptly grab the DVD “Thank you for the suggestion! I loved it… the entire interview thing… and ‘I am just a girl…’… but I am blabbering”.

“Ahem no no” he reassured her, shaking his head, as he tried to shake himself out of the stupor of having a princess in his store “… I am glad you liked it”.

“Well, thank you for the suggestion” she shot back, definitely not at ease with awkward silence “… now can I get ‘Dirty Dancing’?”.

“Of course, your highness” it might have passed off as a simple sarcastic joke, but his tone went suddenly serious, and her eyes rushed to his, nervous, obviously even more at unease, after she had been discovered.

“… Gosh… you have seen the shit on TV, haven’t you?”.

He didn’t know whether to be more impressed by the fact that she had read through him immediately or that she had said ‘shit’.

Were princesses even allowed to say that?

“… yeah” he muttered back, as she looked up at the roof, before she uttered down a big huff.

“Please do me a favor and just… don’t tell anybody that I was here”.

“I don’t think that anybody would ever believe me” he shot back, wondering whether he should have respected any etiquette and curtsied to her.

But if she was trying to hide her true identity it probably meant she didn’t want to be treated as a princess.

And she smiled at his comment.

“Thank you, not that I have anything against this place, I honestly like it, and wouldn’t want to move away, again…” she explained calmly, her hands again going to her hair.

“It must be hard” he commented, lightly sarcastic, as he passed the ‘Dirty Dancing’ DVD, unloading the safety on it “… Gosh, don’t you have a better way to pass a Friday night?”.

His tone was harsh, but she didn’t back down, as she held his gaze.

Her tenderness definitely had a limit.

“… I am not one for the parties my brothers attend” she smirked sadly, as she pushed back herself from the counter, lightly adjusting the leather jacket she was wearing over her shoulders “… and every diplomatic event I was supposed to be at, either was too boring or people assumed that I was the waitress”.

“Certainly not because of your impeccable sense of style” he complimented her, a light dash of blush immediately on her cheeks, as she set her eyes on her heeled mary-janes.

“I do have to say that if I walked in dressed like this, they’d probably call security” she mumbled, again giving him a twirl of her skirt “… but thank you for having taste, one of the few things that I like doing in America is dressing as crazily as I want to”.

“If you think that it crazy, sweetheart, you haven’t seen nothing yet” he replied tightly, raising his eyes to meet hers, finding them truly amused, before a sudden light appeared in her eyes, a mischievous light.

“When do you end your shift?” she asked, pushing herself on the rubber tips of her mary-janes as Ivar tried to calm himself down from the fact that a pretty girl, a princess actually, had just asked him out… or so he thought.

“In an hour” Floki had given him a shorter shift, due to the fact that he had told him he’d need a bit of time to study for an important exam, which would be happening on Monday “… but I wouldn’t suggest you hanging out with me, I suck at the conversation stuff”.

“But your taste in movies is good” she retorted as one of her hands moved on the cash desk.

“I could be a psycho”.

“A psycho wouldn’t say that”.

He couldn’t understand the reason behind why she’d want to hang out with him.

She was a princess.

He was a store clerk with a genetic disease and an awful personality.

Things like this only happened in movies and fairytales

“… but if you don’t want to hang out with me, I get it…” she seemed low key used to it, as if it wasn’t unusual for pretty princess like her to get rejected “… just forgive me, I’ll go back and watch ‘Dirty Dancing’, alone…”.

“Don’t make me feel guilty” he muttered under his breath “… I’ll hang with you, but you have to promise me that you’ll watch a few good movies”.

“I have an hour to kill”.

Her smile had him by the balls.

And he knew he was royally screwed.

After waiting for an hour, watching ‘Dirty Dancing’ on the store TV, Ivar finished his turn and he locked the shop beside him, as she waited for him outside, smirking.

She hadn’t seemed too fazed by Ivar’s legs, as she had seen them, and if she was, she didn’t show it on her face and she looked completely at ease, outside, although she pushed the hood of her hoodie over her head, to hide her face.

“Aren’t you seriously worried that I might turn out to be a psycho?” Ivar asked, sure that there would be more behind all of this.

She could actually be the psycho.

And yet he couldn’t push himself away from her.

“I don’t get those vibes from you, and no offense…” she shot a quick look at her legs “…but I was on the run team”.

“Gosh, are you even real?” he threw back, as he led her inside to the nicest fast food chain, still open.

“My brothers say that I am from another era” she joked, as she sat down in front of him meanwhile he busied himself from the menu, more to hide himself than because he needed to check it out, since he basically lived in this place “… one where girls hid behind folding fans and wore petticoats”.

“What the hell is a petticoat?” he mumbled, but they were interrupted by the waitress asking their orders, sending Ivar an impressed look, as he hid further in the menu.

They spent a few more minutes in a comfortable small talk, talking about whatever ran around their mind, in a strange and natural chemistry that flooded, as she muttered of everything in the least princess-y style.

But her impeccable manners immediately came back, as she tried to cut through a burger with her knife and fork, making Ivar inevitably laugh, and he had to explain her that in America ‘eating with your hands is proper’.

“… America is strange” she mumbled lightly.

“You can say so”.

But he was soon distracted by the way she moved to eat the burger, very very much surprised that a princess could be so disgraceful.

“… don’t laugh… please” she mumbled as soon as she realized that he was staring “… my brothers bullied me for it”.

“Something that we have in common” he replied directly.

“You also were bullied by your brothers?” she asked surprisedly.

“Yeah and I hadn’t simply two… but four”.

“Wow, your mother deserves an award”.

“She would have loved that” a slight ghost of pain appeared in his eyes as he shielded them away from her, but she caught it just in time.

“I am sorry” she seemed honestly moved by what he had just said, sending him a soft look.

“Thanks” he muttered, before rushing to shift the attention away “… so do you have any weird habits that I should know of, uptown girl?”.

“Now you are being a psycho” she replied, as she pushed herself up from the drink she was gulping down.

“I told you”.

They both erupted in laughter, which kept happening also after they left the fast food restaurant so Ivar could accompany her back to her hotel.

‘You don’t have to’ she had tried to persuade him, again that expression of surprise at him being nice with her ‘… I’ll just get a taxi’.

‘I do think that you’ll take more to call a taxi than to arrive by feet’ he had shot back ‘… and also, as the true psycho that I am… I have to see where you live so that I can send you black dahlias, each day’.

She had just told him that if he wanted to send her anything, he should have thought about sunflowers.

‘They are my favorites!’.

At the entrance of the expensive hotel, they both were stalling, as if neither of them wanted to leave.

“It was nice…” he muttered, looking down at his doc martens “… I mean…”.

“I totally get it” she stopped him softly “… tonight I had the most fun I have had since I came in America”.

“Gosh, then you seriously had a shitty experience!”.

Again laughter, and then an obnoxious sound trilling through their soft awkward laughs, making her reach out in her pockets and get out a small bedazzled cellphone, making Ivar laugh, as she shushed him with a quick look, before she moved to reply.

“… yeah yeah, I am at the hotel” she muttered quickly in English, before she moved in a softer tone and in a different language, although from her voice, she was annoyed with whoever had called her, eventually ending the call as the other person was still talking to her.

She just sent him a quick look, before shaking her head.

“… my brothers just got back from a party and didn’t find him inside”.

“Don’t you have bodyguards?” he had been surprised by how freely she was allowed to go outside.

“Ahem… I might have sent them to get me food and then escaped the room” he sent you an impressed look “… that is what happens when people think that you aren’t some kind of ‘rebellious party girl’ “.

“Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me” he smirked lightly, making her giggle.

That sound honestly would have lulled him to sleep, that night.

“Thank you…” her mutter was so soft, that he was sure that the light nightly breeze would have swept it away from him “… not solely for keeping the secrets, but also for the good night”.

“It was my pleasure, your highness” he retorted with a haughty look, as she just shot him light smirk before she pushed her shoulder straighter in a truly royal pose.

And she commented before slipping inside.

“It’s your Brilliance, actually”.

And Ivar wasn’t sure if he had just imagined it or it was real.

Either way, he went to sleep with a smile on his face.

She kept on showing up to his work, to the point that Floki asked him, if ‘his crippled ass had finally gotten himself a pretty girl’.

But he had simply replied that she was just somebody who had started sticking around him.

‘Whatever you say, asshole’ had replied Floki with a wink, before she came to gain a few movie suggestions, and as soon as his turn was over, she’d be already waiting, either a leather jacket or a denim one on her shoulders, for them to discover the newest and greasiest fast food, America could offer.

He had once muttered about how he never thought that princesses enjoyed ‘that shit’.

‘I have been feeding on broccolis, since I was five’ she had retorted with a stern look ‘… I’ll take “that shit” over everything else’.

He had discovered that being a princess wasn’t in the slightest as amazing as he had thought, but still she couldn’t deny that many of the chances she got in life were because of her titles.

Which just made it all worse.

‘I never know if people are truly nice with me because they truly like me or if they… do it because I am a princess’ she had been playing with her food, suddenly sated, as she hid her eyes from him ‘… and they want something from me’.

He knew that she was examining him still, almost as if to see in which one of the sections he fell in.

‘Yeah, you know, it’d be nice, if her royal Brilliance paid for her burgers’ he had retorted, as she had giggled lightly, before she had gone one step further and paid for the all the fast food clients of the night, getting a crazed look from their waitress, meanwhile Ivar’s open mouth fell almost to his feet.

They then had to rush off, since it wouldn’t undoubtedly attract curious eyes.

Some days they’d just crack up jokes and talk about movies and sometimes they’d sit in comfortable silence, needing simply a look to be understood.

It took Ivar a whole week to fall in love with a princess.

He couldn’t deny that whenever she’d smile at him, his heart almost wanted to jump out of this chest.

And whenever they’d have to separate, because she had to go back, he’d be left almost dealing with the side effects of it.

But although his feelings were as evident as ever, he had to hide them from her.

Because, although she might have found a perfect jester in Ivar, she wasn’t the type of girl that went for the cripple.

And she had a crown to keep on her head.

So, it was fun while it lasted.

But when it wouldn’t, anymore…

… it’d break his heart.

That day he had noticed that she didn’t look as comfortable as the previous nights, her mind pushed off away from him, almost as if she was hiding it from him, because she knew that her eyes would reveal all the truth.

And her replies were as weak as your laugh.

And he had had enough.

“… did you lose your crown, in all your designer clothes?” he had harshly commented, although he knew that she wouldn’t take it personally.

“I am going back tomorrow” she revealed, finally raising her face, her lips pushed in a grimace, almost as if the words tasted sour in her mouth “… I have nothing more to do, and I’ll go back, since I have more etiquette lessons to attend”.

The joke didn’t sound half as funny as it should have been, almost being choked in her mouth.

And Ivar couldn’t help but say nothing.

He knew that it’d happen…

… but he hadn’t expected it to be so soon.

And so abruptly.

“I have a flight at 5 p.m., tomorrow, so I don’t think that there’ll be any other nightly rampages” again nothing in her tone sounded as joyful as it should have been.

He was glad he wouldn’t be the only one feeling like shit.

In the first days, he had simply believed that after she’d be leaving him, everything would go back to how it was.

It’d be just ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’.

But right now… he didn’t know if he could go back to a time before her.

If he wanted to go back

Because although it hurt, the thought of having lived those moments.

They almost warmed up his cold and dark heart.

“I’ll miss you” it was the closest he could come to admitting his feelings

And before he knew it, she was bringing him in a tight hug, something wet staining his stupid work uniform, but he didn’t care as he held her tighter

There weren’t many words as you said ‘goodbye’, in a light and soft way, almost as if they both didn’t believe it.

But it had to happen.

And yet, as he woke up that morning, with the beautiful sound of his awful roommate bumping in the coffee table, he couldn’t help but think that he wouldn’t see her lounging annoyedly by the cash desk, asking him with her fluttery eyes whether they’d be leaving soon or she had the time to watch ‘Grease’.

He wouldn’t have anybody to tease, because she could ride horses but still was scared of dogs, hiding behind Ivar.

And he wouldn’t have anybody that truly understood him.

But what was truly eating him inside was the fact that she’d go without knowing truly how he felt about her.

He had hated the main character of any rom-com, who did amazing but stupid things, because they certainly didn’t work in real life.

There were a few thousands reasons why he might have trouble getting past the security measures at the airport, just to tell her ‘I really like you’.

And to be rejected in front of anybody?

He wasn’t Jerry McGuire.

Although you were prettier than Reneé Zellweger.

One more reason not to run at the airport and get dumped there.

And then he heard a knocking on the door.

He hoped it wasn’t Ubbe with his monthly check, because his house smelled like pot and he had some girl’s underwear on his sofa.

But it was worse: it was you.

“Before you accuse me of stalking, Floki gave me your address, yesterday” she commented promptly, decked in definitely a more elegant assemble than the ones you usually wore, with a long trench-coat hiding a lilac sweater and a checkered skirt.

“… I… I’ll kill Floki” he would have definitely.

And then set fire to the fucking store.

“Oh c’mon, he seems a nice boss” she replied, biting her lips, a dash of natural blush on her adorable cheeks.

“… he gave my address to a stranger”.

“A royal stranger” she reminded him “Not that I don’t love talking here, but my heels are killing me, so can I move inside?”.

He took in a deep breath, before pinching his hip, to assure himself this wasn’t a dream, and he ducked his head, inside to see if Heahmund had passed out on the floor or he had reached his room safely.

“Yeah, but just… close your eyes, I’ll guide you”.

“You went back to the creepy questions” but she still closed her eyes as she stepped inside, immediately sniffling the air around “… nice smell”.

“Thank you, it’s pot” he mumbled, rushing in his room, as she giggled beside him.

And when they were both inside, he couldn’t help but realize that he had his own Anna Scott, in his own house.

And he wasn’t acting any better than Hugh Grant.

As he sat down on his bed, she circled his room, curiosity shining in her eyes, as if it was a completely different and exciting world for her.

“Not that I don’t mind seeing your royal ass, but… what are you doing here?” he asked, a bit harsh, because he couldn’t help but feel insecure about this entire situation “… don’t you have an airplane to take?”.

“I couldn’t” she mumbled, almost as if it was the most natural thing “… my brothers are going back, I have… I have asked around and I’ll stick here to be a diplomatic”.

This time it was Ivar who bit his lips, nervously.

‘Don’t think that she has done it for you!’.

“Good! I can give you a proper education on cinematographic masterpieces”.

They both erupted in an awkward laugh, but then she moved closer to him, sitting down beside him on his bed.

That was the closest he had ever come to a woman.

“… I was hoping… but maybe… I got it all wrong…” she stammered through her words “… but I really like spending time with you, and it makes me feel normal…”.

He looked at her as if she was revealing him some universal truth.

“… and that isn’t something that many people have made me feel like…I always… I’d just like to maybe get to know you more than simply for your favorite movies…”.

That still didn’t mean anything.

“Ok” he mumbled “… but we can do it over emails”.

She looked up at the roof of the room, as if she was exasperated that he wasn’t simply getting it.

And finally, she smashed her lips against his.

And his body was definitely faster than his mind, gently bringing him closer as their mouths met again and again, till they were breathless, but she still uttered.

“Can you do that through emails?”.

Five years later, a crown on her head and a ring on her fingers, Ivar was standing at the other end of a big altar in a meek and private church of your native country.

It wasn’t exactly private, if he thought about all the cameras carefully set up everywhere to broadcast the royal wedding live.

But he had married a princess.

So, what could he have truly expected?

His princess had stayed in America for a year, before being called back to your country, but Ivar had moved back to your native country with her, having converted his degree into one that could be followed online.

Except that he hadn’t much to leave behind, starting a great adventure, with her.

His brothers? They would have been fine without him, even better.

His grudge against Lagertha? He could still operate better from another country.

Floki? He, himself, had told him to move the fuck away and get himself the princess.

In the end, there wasn’t anything holding him back and certainly his mother would have just approved.

She would have greatly approved his princess.

Who didn’t approve of this marriage was… her father.

He hadn’t said much when she had come back with a common boy, even more… a cripple.

But he hadn’t been truly problematic till you had mentioned your willingness to marry Ivar, after he had asked you the faithful question.

He hadn’t expected your father’s resistance, although he should have predicted it.

But in a few days the question had moved from a simple ‘no’, to a question of power and dynasty, since her father had stopped her from legally marrying Ivar.

And then she had told him that if he did forbid her from marrying Ivar, she would have gladly forsaken the crown.

Ivar had then told her to just forget about him, almost booked his travel back to America with a heavy heart, but he had thought to make the right choice, the brave one.

And the following day he had found her with her suitcase done and a ticket back to America, with him.

Then her father had started seeing the light, even more because her brothers, who teased Ivar endlessly, had pushed back their own right to the crown, forsaking it, if she ended up being dethroned.

And in the end her father had allowed the wedding.

‘You’ll regret it’ had mumbled her father but she had just smiled.

And Ivar now felt horridly stuck between two fires.

At unease in his elegant designer suit, as Helga held him close, since she had insisted on supporting him, alongside Floki and his brothers, who had come there for it, meeting his soon-to-be-bride a few days before the wedding.

It was useless to say they had all been impressed.

Although his family was more wanted by her, than actually him.

It just made him feel more nervous.

And he had to admit that he had been having a bad case of cold feet since the previous night.

It just…

He wasn’t used to be under the scrutiny of thousands of thousands of people.

They were probably thinking ‘look at this idiotic princess, falling in love with a cripple with anger issues’.

And then she walked in, hand in hand with her father.

He knew that she’d wear something that would look amazingly on her, some tulle atrocity, but in the end, it turned to be even more stunning than he had thought.

The dress didn’t make her seem like a cake, but instead elegantly slid down her body in a long and elegant trail, decorated with trims of lace that hid her face.

But he could still see her energetic smile.

Her honest smile.

And the cold feet melted with the floor under them, as he smiled right back at her, sure of what was going to happen.

Sure, that he wanted this royal wedding.

As she came by his side, silence following him, he finally breathed.

Loudly.

Making her laugh lightly, as she joined their hands, although it wasn’t protocol.

But when had she ever cared about it?

“We are here reunited to join princess (Y/N) of (N/C) and Ivar Lothbrock for the prosperity of the reign”.

Ivar couldn’t listen anymore to judge of peace you had chosen, since Ivar wasn’t catholic, another break in the protocol.

And he did another, as he gently whispered in your hear.

‘You are lovelier now than you have ever been’.

“Don’t be corny” she mumbled keeping her head straighter, as she faked listening to judge.

“I was just quoting Notting Hill” he replied, pouting lightly and faking of being perfectly still for the camera.

“After all... I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her” she retorted, and he cracked up a light laugh.

“Will you leave the ‘don’t put baby in a corner’ for the vows?” he joked, gaining an enormous side-eye by his father-in-law.

“Just you wait, prince Ivar, just you wait”.

---

(Ivar Taglist)

@youbloodymadgenius @alexhandersenx @peaceisadirtyword @fckingdiva

#Ivar #Ivar The Boneless #Ivar Reader #Ivar x Reader #Ivar Imagine #Ivar Fic #Ivar The Boneless Fic #Ivar Fluff #Fluff #Modern! Ivar #Modern AU #Ivar Lothbrock #Ivar Lothbrock Imagine #Ivar Ragnarrson #Ivar Ragnarsson Imagine #Vikings #History Vikings #Vikings Imagine

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wedreamedlove · 4 years

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Speech Quirks in MLQC

Archived Reddit post but this is the improved and updated version. I've linked the Reddit one though because @sharinluna made fantastic comments which I hadn't considered.

Spoilers include content up to Chapter 18 and some unreleased calls and cards. None of these are plot lines though, just snippets to support their speech quirks. Also, my eternal disclaimer is that I'm pulling from CN lines so don't be alarmed if the quotes differ.

BAI QI

The cutest habit this man has is defaulting into a sincere and solemn tone whenever he doesn't know how to respond to MC. He's so genuine it hurts. It's especially apparent when he goes along with weird topics.

Here are some examples of Bai Qi being an adorably confused puppy but trying to do his best. He always takes MC's concerns seriously:

[CN Soaked Heart SSR Misunderstanding Date] Context is they keep misunderstanding each other today. "Though I don't understand women's hearts, yours is the only one I don't want to get wrong. Can you give me some more time?"

[Lightbath SSR Tenderness] Context is after he excessively praises MC to her embarrassment. "I'm sorry, maybe it's because I didn't convey it well enough. But I just wanted to express all my thoughts out. Next time, I hope I can use a better way to express them to you."

[Summer Loving SSR Undo Fail Call] Context is MC having a terrible day and mis-sent her messages to Bai Qi. "If you don't want to go to work then you can take a day off. As for your hairline... how about..."

[Blaze Up SSR Age Rage Call] Bai Qi takes MC's opening extremely seriously, thinking something happened, before having a small laugh at her being called "auntie" by the boy. But he immediately regains his seriousness to talk it over with her.

It's not that Bai Qi doesn't get jokes, but his response to them tends to be serious too (which leads to unintentional killer lines). I think his humor tends towards more of the deadpan kind, like Li Zeyan (except Li Zeyan has some witty sharpness).

I've also seen people mention this phrase and I love it because it encapsulates him so well: Bai Qi is either shy and blushes or he goes straight for the kill LOL.

Here are some examples of lines that may sound sleazy or too flirty if they weren't delivered in such a straight and sincere manner LOL:

[Cold Shower R Refreshing Moments] When you pick the choice saying you thought he was going to upload a picture he goes: "Um... I can DM you." I've seen that he uses a smiley in English but it's not there in Chinese.

[Against the Light SR Sweet Bomb Moments] When you pick the choice saying that he's become cola-flavored he asks: "What do I normally taste like?"

[2018 Valentine's Text] I chose a conversation path which had me telling Bai Qi that he needs to get used to pet hair if he's going to raise a pet and that one day I'd like to raise one. He seriously promises to do his best to get used to pet hair and asks to raise one together.

[Grocery Moments] When you pick the choice that he can use his other hand to carry bags he answers simply: "My other hand is for holding yours, so I can't use it."

Honestly, the takeaway in Bai Qi's speech is the unconditional support and love he gives to MC. He never questions her feelings about things, and oftentimes vehemently objects to her thinking she's bothering him or that her problems are trivial or silly.

He wants to hear about her happy news, her sad news, and everything about her. (I joke that Bai Qi is the perfect fit for the meme where it's like "Why are you crying?" "Oh, it's just these onions" "What the hell did you say to my girlfriend!?").

He always gives a heads up before he acts, even though he generally tends to be moving already. Like going to pick up MC in the rain or at any other location.

I wouldn't be surprised if some of this came from his family life. Through his Rumors and Secrets and [Seize SSR Sad Thoughts Call] you can get an idea that his mother didn't have any standing with his father, often got cut off, and nothing she wanted or felt mattered.

Even though Bai Qi was young at that time it probably left a mark on him because he never does that with MC; he lets her express herself before he brings up any of his feelings. Her feelings are always valid, but he does tend to be a proactive fixer and provides solutions if he can (much like Li Zeyan). Bai Qi will try to solve MC's problems, but I'm sure if she just wanted to rant then he'll gladly listen (ex. [Blaze Up SSR Age Rage Call]).

One other notable thing is that, in Asian cultures, social harmony is very important and that's why there's a culture around speaking indirectly and preserving the other person's dignity.

So Bai Qi's indifference and ability to cut straight to the point probably doesn't stand out that much in the West but it's actually a bit shocking and impactful in Chinese. Especially because he doesn't shy away from expressing his feelings. He might stutter, cough, clear his throat, and be all embarrassed but then he just delivers monologues of blunt emotion (ex. [Love Of My Life SSR Goodnight Wish & Wish Calls]).

I find that Bai Qi and Li Zeyan are the most stereotypical types of masculinity among the four men.

ZHOU QILUO

As always, I need to thank my Luoluo-loving friend for the discussion here because I always have the least thoughts on him. Oops.

I don't think I'd be wrong in saying he has the most range among all the men. He gets to play with a pouting baby voice, his acting hero voice, his KEY voice, his Helios voice, and then his normal voice.

He has a harder speech habit to pin down because of this massive range, but I think you can catch how he leans into a sly or teasing tone. He's very quick with comebacks and jokes and I'd say he's the first to establish an inside joke with MC (both being each other's superheroes).

He and MC have a relationship where they're both building each other up. If Bai Qi provides unconditional support and acceptance then Zhou Qiluo is all about cheering her on whenever possible.

It's also interesting to point out that even though he's so emotive on the outside, when things are serious he goes deadly quiet and calm. You can see that in Chapter 8, 14, and his Helios persona in Chapter 17. They say watch out for the quiet ones, but more like watch out for the people who use their jokes and loudness to hide their quiet intensity.

I'm not sure how clear this came across in English but Luoluo notably repeats himself on several occasions in Chinese. It's sad because it's like he's reassuring the person he's talking to and himself at the same time.

[Main Story 14-20] "It'll be okay, it'll definitely be okay [...] You'll be okay."

[Main Story 14-20] "Miss Chips, wait for me... will you wait for me?"

I've also noticed that, even though he tries to be as genuine as possible, he's actually not as emotionally open as someone like Bai Qi. Luoluo tends to bring up his own emotions in a third-person or hypothetical perspective. For example:

[Call after Main Story 11-8: Important Decision] Luoluo calls and talks around the subject of an important decision he needs to make (aka. turning into Helios) and whether or not MC would be able to accept him if he changed completely into another person.

[CN ASMR Bear Cub's Troubles] He tells a story about a number of bears doing things and they're clearly supposed to represent him but he never admits that either.

We're about to hear much more from Helios but, as a start, he's extremely curt. Luoluo is definitely pulling an opposite here with his speech style, but it's neat how you can hear tones of Zhou Qiluo throughout too.

See, there's these things called modal particles in Chinese that you stick on the end of your sentences to give them meaning, emphasize meaning, strengthen meaning, or soften the meaning and tone.

Luoluo has the habit of using one 啊 (ah) which can have all these sort of meanings and other ones you just sort of pick up on:

[attached to the end of a sentence to indicate admiration]

[attached to the end of a sentence to show approval or self-protectiveness or to urge or enjoin]

[attached to the end of a sentence to indicate doubt]

[sign of pause in the middle of a sentence to draw attention to what one is going to say next]

[attached to the end of each item enumerated]

In Luoluo's case it makes his sentences sound more excited and younger and goes really well with his bright atmosphere. However, when he's Helios, this modal particle is dropped completely. Helios is flat, blunt, and basically pulling a Li Zeyan LOL.

XU MO

I think I've talked way too much about how Xu Mo is a wordsmith LOL but I'm always impressed by how he can corner MC into accepting his invitations without it being creepy. But I suppose this is a point of contention due to localization decisions and voice direction.

Putting that aside, it has to be noted that Xu Mo asks for a lot of permission. His speech style is designed to get you to lower your guard as much as possible, which I've touched on in my wordsmith post.

Again, returning to modal particles, Xu Mo has ones that basically gives all his sentences a "May I?" "Could I?" "Would you...?" style.

[Sound of Silence SSR The Little Prince Call] "Would you like to hear what I have to say?"

[Call after Main Story 3-1: Movie Invitation] "Then, would this lady be willing to watch Manhattan with me this Sunday?"

[CN Archery Date] "May I ask this lady here for some assistance?"

To be more specific, he uses a lot of 吧 (ba) which has these sort of meanings (the first one especially):

[a particle used at the end of the sentence to indicate discussion, suggestion, request, or instruction]

[an indication of agreement or approval at the end of the sentence]

[an indication of doubt or guess at the end of the sentence]

[an indication of uncertainty in the sentence]

[it can express a pause, tone of assumption, difficulty in making a choice, or dilemma in the sentence]

You can imagine how much this softens his sentences right? It's why he's so good at sounding disarming LOL and then you walk away and take 5 seconds to realize he said something alarming and/or got you to accept a date.

On another note, much like Bai Qi, Xu Mo quietly accepts all of MC's feelings and doubts. But he's much more of a natural at gently refuting her points and wording things in a way that helps her mature slowly (a big theme with him).

Compared to the others, he checks more often on whether MC wants to listen to his opinion before he gives it. Or, he supports his view from an empirical standpoint (like how he's been the adviser to Miracle Finder pretty much at the beginning and seen her growth from there).

Because of how his speech habit is designed to be soft when he's Xu Mo, it makes his Ares persona really interesting. He drops his softeners and speaks in a more clipped tone but he still maintains his politeness.

At the news conference in Chapter 16 you can hear how he uses starts using rhetoric to push the MC around (as a mix between Ares and cold Xu Mo). He actively challenges her opinions, compared to before when he was just providing alternative (and supportive) views. The news conference is actually amazing because in Chinese they both become EXCESSIVELY polite to demonstrate this new distance between them after Chapter 13.

CRIES WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT XU MO AND ARES. So, Xu Mo also has a quirk that's very apparent in his ASMRs where he repeats himself because he flusters the MC so bad she's always like "Huh!?".

But as Ares he literally has a line where he coolly says that he doesn't like to repeat himself and that he won't repeat himself...

Switching gears, Xu Mo also shares a habit with Li Zeyan where they give nonverbal responses. In Xu Mo's case, he goes "Mm?" "Hm?" or "Oh?" and tends to raise the end of his sentences to soften them. Li Zeyan just grunts acknowledgements LOL but it's the hottest noise in Chinese.

Lastly, Xu Mo really, really loves nicknaming the MC and has called her kitten, sea otter, this lady, night owl, etc. It's adorable! (I'm not mentioning his use of little fool or silly girl because I'm going to go more into that in Li Zeyan's section.)

LI ZEYAN

Okay, let's get the elephant out of the room. One of his speech quirks is calling MC a dummy, idiot, or moron LOL.

But there's an extremely interesting cultural difference here that people might not be aware of. In Chinese, the word he uses for "idiot" and "dummy" (笨蛋; bendan) is actually light and almost negligent. If I were to give an analogy, it's more like he's calling you "silly" all the time.

Obviously, the fact that you're being called something still hasn't disappeared. But the word Li Zeyan uses lands as a 0.1/10 on the insult scale in Chinese.

I don't have enough background in sociology to explain why this is but there's an interesting talk about the vagueness of Japanese insults vs. English ones that basically applies here to Chinese too:

One likely reason for the relatively few Japanese words for 'fool' is vagueness. In both English and Japanese, the words for 'fool' have meanings that vary along scales of friendly–hostile, or joking–serious. In English, at one end of a scale are words like silly goose and at the other end are words like stupid asshole. And in Japanese, at one end are words like kamaboko baka 蒲鉾馬鹿 'silly chump' and at the other end are words like baka-yarō 馬鹿野郎 'damn fool'. The difference is in the degree of lexical diversification along the scales of meaning. English seems to have more 'fool' words with more specificity – Japanese seems to have fewer 'fool' words with more vagueness. There are decided pragmatic and communicative advantages to such lexical vagueness. If you call me a stupid son-of-a-bitch, I know exactly what you mean. But if you call me a baka-yarō, I cannot be so sure of what you mean. The expression baka-yarō 馬鹿野郎 is one of the most insulting terms in the Japanese lexicon, but it is vague and can range in meaning from an affectionate 'silly-willy' to an abusive 'jerk-off fool'. Baka-yarō is so widely used that it has become semantically weak and vague. Such vagueness can serve to conceal hostility and thus to maintain social harmony.

Carr, Michael (1982). "Baka and Fool". The Review of Liberal Arts. 63: 1–18. Retrieved 2013-04-19.

On this note about insults, all the other guys have their own terms for the MC as well. For example, Xu Mo and Bai Qi use 傻瓜 (shagua; fool, silly melon) with Xu Mo often adding more affection with the diminuitive 小 (xiao; small, little).

I've seen Luoluo take some heat for also calling the MC "stupid" like Li Zeyan but did you know in Chinese he only uses 笨 (ben; dumb) which is even more lighter than Li Zeyan's word? It's like a 0.01/10 on the scale.

Putting this cultural difference of insults aside, I've mentioned above that Li Zeyan is also a fixer of problems like Bai Qi. Except he goes straight for it without checking with the MC (overbearing CEO style). He decides on an action, carries it out, and then tells MC after the fact.

[Marauder SSR Change Hotel Call] He switches her hotel immediately and gets her to move only after he's done it during their call.

[Chapter 11] Pretty much the entirety of this chapter and how he had her treated at the hospital, escorts her to and from work, assigns bodyguards for MC, etc.

Basically, whenever Li Zeyan receives MC's problems, he'll make a dry comment about it first, but then end up solving it.

I also think that, out of the rest of the guys, he questions MC the most on everything (remember, Xu Mo isn't naturally confrontational until he goes cold or Ares-mode). Li Zeyan can't seem to stop himself from challenging MC's views and opinions every step of the way (in his mind, he's doing it for her own good).

On a side note, I think he also has the habit of being unable to say what he truly wants to say sometimes and you can hear him swallow back a lot of words or just sigh heavily. For example:

[Call after Main Story 11-19: Routine Greeting] Granted he was really emotional due to story reasons here. But there were so many pregnant pauses and heavy silence.

[Gentle Confrontation SSR Tacit Game Call] In Chinese, when MC opens with her question you can actually hear him go "Uh..." LOL. IT'S HILARIOUSLY CUTE. But the rest just has him sighing deeply.

I mentioned above that he and Bai Qi share a similar sense of humor in being deadpan, but Li Zeyan definitely takes it to another level. He also delivers a serving of dry wit or sarcasm. I think it's cute that he mimics the MC a lot though and their inside joke is him recalling everything she's called him.

[Main Story 11-16] Same speech pattern. "Are you Li Zeyan...?" "... Are you a moron?"

[Winter Infatuation SSR Before Sleep Call] "Even though on the way back you were clearly crying, 'Ah, so tired... ah, so sleepy...', the moment you get home you have the energy to turn on the computer?"

There's too many occasions where he quotes her words about him being an unsmiling K(ing), but whenever it happens some cute back and forth ribbing gets brought up. Like how it slipped out of her mouth, but he just so happened to recall it too and it's not like he remembers this stuff on purpose or keeps it in his mind. Uh huh.

Despite how exasperated he gets though, Li Zeyan never stops participating in all the silly games MC drags him into. Is this true love--- LOL.

Lastly, I want to bring up how Li Zeyan gives nonverbal responses much like Xu Mo except his are like grunts of acknowledgment. His favorite words is probably 嗯 (ng). The sound is more like "en" with a bit of a nasal noise and just means "mm". It can be used as a question too.

But hands down I think it's the hottest noise in Chinese LOL especially when Wu Lei (Li Zeyan's Chinese voice actor) does it in his deep voice. Erm, oops, getting distracted.

My main point here is to say that Li Zeyan leans towards being brief and monosyllabic, moreso than the other men. For example, in [Main Story 18-8] Li Zeyan uses the shortest words possible to reply to Xu Mo. At one point he literally just goes "Reason?".

I actually think he uses the most Chinese idioms to get across his meaning as short as possible (but this would be impossible to carry over in English...). Xu Mo tends to use 4 character combinations too but those are for scientific theories and don't count.

A Chinese player actually compiled the majority of idioms you hear from Li Zeyan LOL and here they are. By the way, these are supposed to be said as one whole phrase but I've added spaces to make the pronunciation clearer:

少见多怪 (shao jian duo guai); lit. seldom seen very strange. It means making a fuss or being excited over something normal.

上蹿下跳 (shang cuan xia tiao); lit. leap up jump down. It means jumping around excitedly and being hyperactive.

当众出丑 (dang zhong chu chou); lit. public fool. It means making a fool of yourself in public or making yourself a spectacle.

差强人意 (cha qiang ren yi); lit. lacking improvement to one's expectation. It means being barely passable or barely satisfactory.

不近人情 (bu jin ren qing); lit. not close to human emotions. It means being unreasonable or inhuman, and this one was actually Li Zeyan asking if MC sees him as this.

乱七八糟 (luan qi ba zao); I don't think you can make this literal but it basically means a complete mess.

自作多情 (zi zuo duo qing); lit. self-made many feelings. It means being full of yourself, like a narcissist, or flattering yourself by thinking people love you when they don't LOL.

漏洞百出 (lou dong bai chu); lit. full of leaks. It means you're full of loopholes, inconsistencies, and all your arguments are faulty.

莫名其妙 (mo ming qi miao); I'm not sure if this can become literal either but it means baffling, ridiculous, or incomprehensible.

想都别想 (xiang duo bie xiang); It literally means don't you even think about it LOL.

笨手笨脚 (ben shou ben jiao); lit. dumb hands dumb legs. It means being clumsy.

罪加一等 (zui jia yi deng); lit. adding a cardinal sin. It basically means becoming doubly guilty or you just keep piling up wrongs.

叽叽喳喳 (ji ji zha zha); lit. chirp chirp. But it basically means you're being a chatterbox, babbling, and jibberjabbering.

Of course we can't forget 笨蛋 (bendan; dummy, idiot) and 白痴 (baichi; moron) which are the insults Li Zeyan uses the majority of the time, the former more than the latter. These aren't idioms though.

#mlqc #mr love queen's choice #love and producer #mlqc victor #mlqc gavin #mlqc lucien #mlqc kiro #mlqc xu mo #mlqc li zeyan #mlqc bai qi #mlqc zhou qiluo #love and produc(ing) meta

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introvertguide · 4 years

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High Noon (1952); AFI #27

Our next film up for review is the not-so-standard western, High Noon, starring Gary Cooper and Grace Kelly. The movie was nominated for seven Academy Awards and took home four trophies for Best Actor, Best Editing, Best Music, and Best Song. Westerns at the time were generally focused on the flawless hero who everybody loves and the citizens that band together to fight the bad guy. The good guys were all good and the bad guys were all bad. This is not the case with current film and it was one of the few Westerns nominated for Best Director, Best Picture, and Best Writing (although these were the awards that the movie did not win). It is a genre film that completely went against type. I really want to continue but I realize that now is the time to go through the plot, so let us first give the warning...

SPOILER ALERT!!! I AM GOING TO SPOIL THE WHOLE MOVIE AND IT IS WELL WORTH SEEING SO DON’T READ FURTHER UNTIL YOU WATCH ON YOUR OWN!!! IT IS ONLY 85 MINUTES LONG SO GIVE IT A CHANCE!!! IT IS VERY WORTH YOUR TIME TO SEE WITHOUT IT BEING SPOILED!!!!

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Remember that the film has a run time of 85 minutes and this is the amount of time that passes in the movie. With this in mind, there will be no “meanwhile” or “while that was happening...” in this review. Everything is shown that matters and assume that time is passing for everyone in town whether or not they are on screen.

Three men meet outside Hadleyville, a small town in the New Mexico Territory, are gathered and ride over to the train station to wait for a train. The scene switches to the retirement and wedding of Marshal Will Kane (Gary Cooper), newly married to Amy Fowler (Grace Kelly), as he kisses his bride and turns in his badge and gun. The happy couple will soon depart for a new life to raise a family and run a store in another town. However, word arrives that Frank Miller, a vicious outlaw whom Kane sent to jail, has been released and will arrive on the noon train. Miller's gang—his younger brother Ben (Sheb Wooley), Jack Colby (Lee Van Cleef), and Jim Pierce (Robert Wilke)—are the three men awaiting his arrival at the train station. It is not directly stated by the three men, but it is clear that Miller intends to exact revenge since Kane put him in jail previously. A glance at the clock shows it is 10:45. This is especially a problem since the new marshal won’t arrive until the next day and Kane doesn’t want to leave the town with no protection.

Amy is a devout Quaker and pacifist so the solution is simple—leave town before Miller arrives. They actually start out in their buggy, but Kane turns around and takes them both back to the jailhouse because Kane insists on facing Miller and his men. "They're making me run", he tells her. "I've never run from anybody before." At this point, it is assumed that Kane will get his deputies and form a posse to face Miller. He is the beloved retiring lawman and the town had banded together before to put the man in jail in the first place. Amy gives Kane an ultimatum saying she is leaving on the noon train whether he joins her or not. Kane says he has to stay so they basically split up literally minutes after being married by the Justice of the Peace.

Kane finds one man that immediately volunteers and then goes to the deputy Harvey Pell (Lloyd Bridges). Pell won’t help unless Kane puts in a good word and actually quits because he believes that Kane didn’t promote him to Marshall because of some old grudge over a woman. Kane denies even knowing about the relationship and Pell turns in his star and quits. Another person that Kane thought would help is Judge Percy Mettrick (Otto Kruger), who he finds packing up to get out of town because he doesn’t believe he will survive. The judge is the one who actually sentenced Miller, and believes the outlaw will want him dead.

Further dialogue reveals that Will Kane had stolen the lover of Frank Miller, a Mexican women named Helen Ramirez (Katy Jurado), and this was what prompted Miller to go wild and convinced the town to have him arrested. Kane is no longer with Ramirez and was not aware that she had been sleeping with the deputy. All together, it seems like Kane is not that great of a guy and that Miller has a legitimate grudge with him. The whole town knows this and some of them want Miller to kill Kane, so nobody will help him and he is again encouraged to leave. One friend named Sam Fuller hides in his house and has his wife cover for him. The old marshal is played by freaking Lon Chaney and he won’t help because he notes that members of law enforcement die and nobody really cares. Nobody at the church will help and even the one guy who volunteered backs out because he realizes it will be a slaughter. The only person who openly offers to help is a young boy, but Kane rejects that help and tells the boy to go home.

All this happens and is taking up the time before the noon train. Helen realizes that one of the men she loved will die and the lack of town support upsets her. Amy goes up to meet Helen and the two decide that they will go on the noon train together. Ramirez says she would stay with Kane and not abandon him, but Amy tells her own story of tragedy (she watched her father and brother die in a shoot out).

Deputy Pell again expresses his anger at not being named the new marshal and so he corners Kane in the horse stables and demands that he be made made the marshal and Kane ride out of town. Their conversation becomes an argument, and then a fist fight. Kane finally knocks his former deputy senseless. Forlorn, Kane returns to his office to write out his will as the clock hits high noon.

Frank Miller (Ian MacDonald) arrives on the noon train and his group of men are waiting for him with a gun belt. Helen and Amy get on the train as the outlaws ride into town. There is a very famous overhead shot which shows Kane all alone in the streets with a genuine look of fear, assuming that all of his friends have deserted him and he is about to die. The gang walks into town and starts shooting at Kane, which Amy hears from the train and she decides to go back and help. Kane is able to gun down Ben Miller and Colby but is wounded and hides in the stable. He escapes by hanging on to a fleeing horse but is again cornered by the outlaws at the jailhouse. Amy runs into town and takes a gun from one of the bodies and hides. She is able to sneak up and shoot Pierce from behind. Frank Miller sees this and takes her hostage to call out Kane. The marshal comes out and Amy scratches at Miller to let her go and Kane gets the opportunity to gun down Frank Miller.

Kane helps his bride to her feet and they embrace. As the townspeople emerge and cluster around him, Kane throws his marshal's star in the dirt, glares at the crowd, and departs with Amy on their wagon.

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I keep harping on about how this was not like any standard western of the time and I should probably explain more clearly now that the plot is known. Movies at the time focused on the American marshal as a pseudo superhero. They were honest and always on the side of good, they could ride horses and outshoot any outlaw, everybody loved them except bad guys, and women swooned in their wake. They also tended to be ruggedly handsome, tough as nails, and fearless. The antagonist, on the other hand, was completely wrong and had bad moral character. These bad guys mistreated women, disobeyed the law on purpose, stole, robbed, cheated, and had ugly scars. They traveled in groups in an attempt to intimidate people, but they were no match for the single good guy. But this movie changed everything.

An old marshal who just retired to marry a much younger woman sticks around town to fight a man whom he convicted to die. This villain had an issue with the old marshal because the lawman had stolen his woman. The deputy won’t stand with the retired marshal after being passed over for the job opening and many of the town members won’t help because they think the marshal should leave and let the new marshal deal with the problem. The marshal is scared and alone when he takes on the villains and it is his young bride who actually comes to his aid while he cowers in the jailhouse. At the end, the marshal throws his star on the ground and leaves without saying anything else.

All members of the cast need to be commend on acting against character type because the general sense of fear at what was coming explained the realistic choice of most of the town running away. It is almost comical when all of the villains are dead and the entire town comes pouring into the streets and it is obvious that there were more than enough men to make a posse and easily protect the town. But the only person that came to help when it counted was a female 20-year-old pacifist Quaker.

It has been noted by directors and film critics that this was not a very strong performance by Grace Kelly, especially when next to veteran Mexican actress Katy Jurado. Alfred Hitchcock later noted that she played a very meek part for such a strong role, but saw something in her (likely her blond hair and good looks) and gave her a much more fitting part when he cast her for Dial M for Murder, Rear Window, and To Catch a Thief.

I could not find the film on any of the subscription services when I was looking to watch it so I had the DVD shipped through Netflix. This is a good way to go because I got to watch some DVD extras and learned that everybody and their dad was attached to the making of this film. The cinematographer was Floyd Crosby, the father of rock/folk singer David Crosby. The Deputy was played by Lloyd Bridges, who had two young children on set, Beau and Jeff Bridges. According to the extras, Beau was actually in the barn loft watching during the fight between Kane and his deputy. The singer of the theme song was country musician Tex Ritter, father of actor John Ritter. A very rich history of Hollywood royalty in this single movie.

Many of the actors and writers involved in the film were concerned that they were going to get black listed for being part of this production. It was the early 50s and the Red Scare was at its height in the United States. Many actors and screenwriters were being publicly prosecuted for committing acts against America, and any movie that did not actively promote patriotism was in danger of being accused of being communist. It was a bad time for Westerns that were innovative or went against the norm, which partially explains complaints that many films in the genre during the 50s were the same. This film that depicted a lawman sticking to what he believed in and finding all his friends shunning him was interpreted by some as promoting communism or attacking McCarthyism. Director Zinnemann did say he had all this on his mind during the filming and would consider it an allegory for the Hollywood blacklisting, but that was not necessarily the point from the start.

So should this movie be on the AFI 100? Absolutely! It is part of the most American of genres at a focal point in the country’s history, yet flies in the face of all the standards of that genre. Despite this, it still was nominated for a bunch of awards and highly acclaimed by liberal and conservative leaning viewers alike. The movie is full of Old Hollywood greatness as far as the stars and the crew. The AFI list was created for innovative Americana like this. Would I recommend it? Absolutely! Just the innovate shots and the use of real time alone makes for a great watch. The story is great and the acting is great. There are few movies on the AFI list with pacing this good and it is a very easy film to watch and enjoy. Highly recommend.

#high noon #grace kelly #gary cooper #western #old hollywood #american movies #afi top 100 #best actor #Oscar winner #movie critic #spoilers #communism #red scare #introvert #introverts #50s #classic movies

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godlydolans · 4 years

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Something Borrowed {e.d.}

Summary: Y/N Y/L/N was the woman Ethan Dolan cheated on his wife with and between the wife and the mistress, the wife always wins. Well, three years later, the wife is no longer alive and Ethan has recently found out he has a son with the woman he had left.

Warning: Angst and a confusing plot.

A/N: Guys, I am so sorry for this mess of a fic. I've been building this universe in my head for almost a year but I seriously can't write so please enjoy whatever abomination I've written down and do feel free to ask me any questions you may have about the plot, characters, etc. I know I haven't done a good job explaining everything in this fic.

At 9 o’clock on Christmas night, Y/N found herself in Elijah’s room, somehow squeezing her form into his bed with him tucked into her left side while Irina was laying her head on Y/N’s right side. Y/N couldn’t quite fit into the bed which was meant for her three year old little boy, but she still managed. Her legs dangled over the edge and she basically had to lay Irina on top of her in order to fit all three of them together but she really didn’t mind.

“And finally, they got Cinderella to try on the shoe.” Her son didn’t like to go to bed without hearing a story from her. Elijah was very much like her in that aspect, he loved hearing stories just as much as he loved telling them. When Y/N was young, her grandma was the person who’d tell her all these exotic tales before she’d go to sleep. Since her son didn’t have a grandma until recently, Y/N took on the role of the storyteller, reading baby books to him ever since he was in her womb. Usually, Elijah didn’t ask to hear princessy tales because he had already heard lol of them so Y/N always did her research on new stories so she could deliver her son with stories he’d never heard before. But since his beloved sister was spending the night for the first time and it was her wish to hear Cinderella’s story, Y/N launched right into it. “And guess what?”

Irina’s little head popped up from Y/N’s arm and she gasped, her blue eyes wide in wonder. “The shoe fit her?!”

“Yes!” She answered with equal enthusiasm. “The shoe fit her perfectly because it was made especially for her by her fairy godmother, you know?”

“And so the Prince married her?” Asked Elijah, making Y/N turn her head to look at her son. He had heard the tale many times but the smile he wore on his face at this part of the story always made her heart happy. Her precious boy always beamed with joy when poor Cinderella finally got her happy ending. Elijah was a sucker for happy endings.

Much like she used to be when she was his age.

“Yeah babe, the Prince was informed by his soldiers that they found his Cinderella and he came to her house in his white horse, took her to his Palace and made her his Queen.” Y/N smiled, pulling Elijah closer to her. The temperature outside had dropped below freezing. Snow could be seen falling from the sky, through the glass window the curtains of which were not drawn completely.

“And she lives happily ever after?” Irina grinned, hope laced into every word.

“And she lived happily ever after.” Y/N confirmed with a smile on her own face.

“The Prince was handsome, Y/N?” Was Irina’s next question.

“He was very handsome, babe. And he was very kind-hearted. He loved Cinderella and he never let anyone hurt her ever again.”

“He was handsomer than my daddy?” Irina stared up at y/n with wide, inquisitive eyes and Y/N’s heart sank.

Was he 'handsomer' than her daddy? Y/N looked at the curly hair on top of Irina’s head and immediately got reminded of the times she spent with Irina’s daddy’s head on her bosom while she lazily ran her fingers through his curls. She looked at Elijah and the hazel eyes he fixed on her made her remember all those nights she spent talking to his daddy about anything and everything, wrapped up in her white sheets and his strong arms. Her son looked heartbreakingly similar to his father. Irina had bits and pieces of her mother’s features in her, but Elijah almost didn’t possess any physical features from Y/N.

It was something that had made her cry overwhelmed tears when she’d first held him in her arms after bringing him into the world. Ethan was etched into every feature of her son. That fact just made pushing his memories out of her head that much more difficult. She still managed to do it though and she is proud of that fact.

“He was handsome like your daddy, sweetheart.” Y/N settled for the simple answer. She didn’t want to tell Irina that the Prince was more handsome than her father. That might have started an argument if she’d have gotten offended. Also, Y/N didn’t want to say yes to a question like that because if she was being honest with herself, there really could be no one more handsome than Ethan. Yes, there could be people just as handsome as him, but not more handsome than him.

Elijah was slowly dozing off beside Y/N and Irina had yawned twice since the story ended. They had had a long day today. It was Christmas, after all. Elijah had been the happiest little munchkin the whole day, spending his first Christmas with his father and his family. A happy Elijah meant a hyper Elijah. He had been so hyper the whole day, the poor boy had exhausted himself by the time dinner rolled around.

“Y/N?” Irina whispered, her hand came up to Y/N’s cheek and she turned the older woman’s face to look down at her. Y/N raised an eyebrow and smiled at Irina’s cute gesture. Y/N hadn’t known the little girl that long, but she noticed how Irina liked to hold people’s faces while talking to them. It was like she didn’t want the eye contact to break. She didn’t like it when people looked elsewhere while talking to her. “You are very pretty.”

Y/N’s eyes widened at those words.

“Like a princess. And I like your voice.” The little girl was smiling with her eyes and she looked exactly like her mother when she smiled. Y/N’s heart squeezed painfully at the resemblance. This little girl was adorable and she liked Y/N. If only she knew how much her mother had hated Y/N, she wouldn’t be smiling up at her with twinkling eyes.

Irina would hate her too.

Y/N was no princess.

Blinking back the tears that were slowly gathering into her eyes, Y/N cleared her throat and managed to push out a small smile. Hers wasn’t as genuine as Irina’s. Then again, she wasn’t an innocent little girl like Irina.

“Thank you, Irina. You are really pretty too.” Y/N brushed her curly hair back and kissed her forehead. “And it’s time to sleep now, okay?” Irina nodded. “If you need anything, come to my room.”

Giving a sleeping Elijah a kiss good night, Y/N slipped out of bed and covered the little kids with Elijah’s blanket. Turning the lights off, she turned for the door but halted when she found Ethan leaning against the doorframe, his arms crossed at his chest and a small smile on his lips. Y/N blushed to the root of her hair. “Ethan?”

He pushed himself off the doorframe and began walking toward her. “Just wanted to say good night to the kiddos.”

Y/N nodded, stepping aside so he could get to Irina. She watched silently as he leaned down and kissed the side of Irina’s head, causing her to smile and kiss his cheek in return.

“Good night, princess.”

“Good night, Daddy!”

Ethan then walked over to Elijah’s side and gave his forehead a kiss. Y/N curled her arms around herself, the tears coming back up. She had never thought her baby boy would ever get to experience a father’s love. She didn’t think he would even get to meet Ethan. Watching Ethan with Elijah never failed to make her eyes water. Ethan was smiling down at his children, watching Irina turn to her side and throw her arm around Elijah as she closed her eyes. He thought he would break down in tears right then and there.

“I love you two.”

Feeling like an outsider watching Ethan interact with his children, Y/N quietly exited the room and decided to distract herself with cleaning up the table and doing the dishes. It worked for some time before Ethan decoded to join her there too. She didn’t even have to turn and look to know he was in the kitchen. She could sense his presence, feel his molten honey gaze on her back. Closing her eyes, she sighed.

She had spent three long years mastering the art of blocking off each and every thought of Ethan’s from her mind. When he had left her, it had felt like her whole world had stopped. She hadn’t been the woman she used to be before Ethan and she certainly was not the woman she was with Ethan. He had left and he had forever changed a part of her. It felt like he’d almost flipped the switch of emotions in her when he’d left her. The only person she loved from that day till today, was her son.

Yet, she still managed to sense his presence whenever he entered a room. She didn’t like that one bit.

Without lifting her gaze from the bowl she was cleaning, Y/N said, “Thank you.”

“For?” Ethan inquired. She had put her hair up in a bun which made her slender neck look longer from the back. Y/N had always been stunning but she somehow got even more beautiful in all these years she spent away from Ethan.

“You know what for.” Y/N turned just enough to flash him a barely there smile. It took him by surprise because although it was barely a smile, her lips had still tipped up and that was the most he had gotten from her recently. Y/N Y/L/N didn’t smile. Not at Ethan, she didn’t. Ethan dared to walk closer to her until he was standing beside her. “You didn’t have to bring Elijah back but you did.”

Y/N wasn’t close with her parents and she had no siblings so she and Elijah only had each other to celebrate Christmas with. Her baby boy never had any family besides herself in all the three years of his life because his father had left her before she even knew she was pregnant with his child. She had tried to tell Ethan about her pregnancy after she had found out but he had never picked up her calls. After giving birth to Elijah all alone, no one there to sit with her and hold her hand as she went through the worst pain of her life, Y/N had given Ethan one last call.

That one had been picked up but not by Ethan. It had been his wife on the line. The same wife he had cheated on, with her. Y/N had never called his phone ever again.

Three years later, life so cruelly brought Ethan back to her doorstep and he found out he had another child besides his precious daughter. Y/N let Ethan into her sons life because he was his father, he had the right to know his son. She didn’t want to take away Elijah’s chance of knowing his father either, so with Ethan came his extended family and Elijah finally had a big family.

He adored his uncle and aunt and, oh lord, did he love his grammy Lisa with all his heart. Today was the first Christmas Elijah was to spend with Ethan and his family and Y/N had allowed Ethan to keep him for the day.

There was no chance of Y/N tagging along for the celebrations because none of Ethan’s family liked her. Why would they? She had been the other woman in Ethan’s marriage.

The thought made her wince.

Y/N had been totally prepared to spend Christmas alone but late in the afternoon, the doorbell had rung and she had opened the door to a very hyper Elijah, a smiling Irina and Ethan wishing you a merry Christmas.

He had brought Elijah back for her but when he and Irina began to leave, Elijah started crying. He had been so happy all day, Y/N didn’t want to be the reason for his tears so she asked Ethan to stay.

And now here they were.

“I couldn’t take away your son from you on Christmas day.”

“Thank you.” She didn’t know what else to say.

Her eyes came up to his for a split second before she looked back down. Ethan wanted to take both her hands in his and place a kiss on each hand. He wanted to take her face in his hands and make her look into his eyes. He wanted to lean in and kiss her rosy lips until she smiled.

She always used to smile when he used to kiss her. Ever since she came back into his life, Ethan had barely seen her smile if she wasn’t directing it at her son. It pained him to see how hollow her eyes always looked when she wasn’t looking at her son.

He had broken something in her when he’d told her he couldn’t continue to see her because he’d gotten his wife pregnant, three years ago. He had seen the colour drain from her face that day when he’d told her he was going to mend his marriage and the first step in that direction was breaking things off with her. She hadn’t said anything then, just like she doesn’t say anything now.

Ethan wished she would let him mend her. He wanted to fix what he had broken all those years ago. He desperately wanted back the Y/N who had mended him when his strained relationship with his wife had broken him.

It’s ironic how Y/N came into his life when he was at his lowest and she helped him feel again. She offered him a shoulder to lean on when he desperately needed one, she offered him her beautiful kind smiles, her welcoming arms, her encouraging words, her heart.

It’s funny how Iris never did.

And it’s sad how he threw it all in her face and left.

“Y/N,” Ethan reached into his pants pocket and pulled out a blue velvet box. She frowned at him when he extended it to her. “Merry Christmas.”

Y/N was looking at him with confusion swimming in her eyes. It was like she couldn’t fathom why he’d get her something for Christmas. God, what had he done to her? She questioned every little thing people did for her, like she could simply not stomach the fact that people could still offer her things without asking her for something in return.

“You didn’t have to do this.” She spoke barely above a whisper and her hands remained at her sides. She didn’t once try to take the present from Ethan.

“I wanted to.” He admitted, adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed in nervousness. His cheeks were feeling hot.

“I didn’t get you anything.”

“You have given me Elijah. What gift can be more precious than that?” Ethan genuinely didn’t deserve to slide into her and Elijah’s life as easily as she let him. He had honestly thought Y/N would be difficult about him spending time with her son. She had single handedly raised him thus far, Ethan had never even known he had a child apart from Irina and it wasn’t Y/N’s fault he hadn’t known. It had been him who had ignored all her calls when she’d tried to tell him. He had thought she would just ask him to see her again, that if he got back in contact with her, she would somehow convince him to fall back into her and he couldn’t let that happen. He had promised Iris that Y/N had been a mistake and that he would never do anything to jeopardise the relationship he had with her again.

Well, Iris was now buried in St. Jude’s Cemetery and Y/N ?

It seemed like he had killed a part of the woman he had fallen in love with all those years ago.

Right now, she was staring at him with an expression he couldn’t comprehend. She looked pretty indifferent still, but those eyes held a spark in them. And then she spoke what was on her mind and Ethan’s heart shattered. “Are you giving me this as a payment for having Elijah and and raising hi-“

Ethan’s eyes widened and he instantly dropped his hand back to his side. “What?! Y/N, is this how low you think of me? I would never-I just wanted to give you a Christmas present, that was it.”

“Why though? I’m not your family? I’m not your friend? I’m basically a stranger to yo-“ There it was. That flicker of emotion in her eyes. She didn’t look indifferent anymore. She looked angry.

“A stranger?” Ethan whispered in disbelief, every word that came out of her mouth slicing a gaping wound into his heart. “After everything we’ve had-“

Ethan noticed how Y/N locked her jaw at his words and crossed her arms across her chest. A defensive stance, a brace to protect her heart.

“What have we had, Ethan? Huh?”

“Y/N.”

“I’ll tell you. We were nothing but fuck buddies.”

Ethan winced, bile rising to his throat. His fist tightened around the velvet box exactly how Y/N’s words tightened an invisible fist around his heart.

“We fucked and you used me to numb the pain your alcoholic wife caused you and when you didn’t need me anymore after her recovery, you left. Simple as that.” Y/N’s throat felt chocked up, revisiting the darkness that had started in her heart and slowly spread everywhere, both inside and out. She gave him everything she had, went against everything she had taught herself about self preservation, brought all her walls down so he could enter and ruin her. He did exactly that. “I was the other woman and women like us get exactly what I got. I got you for a few months and I dared to forget that you would always belong to your wife. You did the right thing, going back to her. You did the right thing by not leaving the woman you married for the whore you cheated on her with.”

“Stop!” Ethan saw red when she called herself a whore. She didn’t even flinch, didn’t even blink. She just stared at him with the same indifferent look in her eyes that haunted him in his dreams. Those eyes held the entire universe once. Now, there wasn’t even a flicker of light in them.

What had he done? Had he really made her feel like she deserved what she got? Did she really think herself to be a whore? Ethan couldn’t even bare to think of the word and there she was, saying it like it meant nothing.

“Ethan. You don’t have to do all this for me.” Y/N pointed to the present he’d bought her. She didn’t even see what the box held inside it, she didn’t want to. “When you said you wanted to be in Elijah’s life, I understood we’d have to see each other sometimes. I’m his mother, you’re his father, that’s the only relationship we have. You don’t have to build another one.”

Ethan just stood there, stunned into silence while Y/N just turned right back to the sync and began loading up the dishes into the dishwasher. He couldn’t believe this was the same woman who was telling bedtime stories to his kids just a few minutes ago. She was a different person around Elijah, even Irina. It was like she only turned on her emotions for the kids and the rest of the world got her ice cold glare.

He didn’t realise he had been standing beside her, looking at her like he was trying to look for traces of the old her, but he got snapped out of his train of thoughts when she cut him a cold look and announced, “I’ve prepared the guest room for you. There are blankets and pillows and two water bottles. Ask me if you need anything else, I’ll be in my room.”

In direct words, she meant to say, “Leave me the fuck alone.” So he did just that. With a heavy heart, Ethan pocketed the necklace he had bought her, feeling hurt beyond measure that she didn’t even open the box and see it. Then again, what did he expect from a woman he screwed over so bad? He stole one last glance at her, hoping to find her looking at him but she was still very much engrossed in the dishes. Ethan pressed his lips together and made his way into the guest bed room.

That’s what he was in her house. A guest.

What had he done?

#ethan dolan imagines #grayson dolan imagines #something borrowed #forgive me for this abomination #🙉

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lucy-ghoul · 3 years

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Mikasa Ackermann, Levi Ackermann, Amane Misa, Aeron Greyjoy for the charactet ask :3

SOMEONE HEARD MY PRAYERS AND NOW MY TIME HAS COME, tysm!!!!! <3

okay, let's start with levi (my beloved):

hogwarts house: gryffindor (maybe....?) | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

ugh, the hp sorting house system is way too reductive. he has qualities of gryffindor, slytherin, and hufflepuff - brave, astute, loyal to a fault, etc. so it's a hard choice. but if i really have to choose, i'd go for gryffindor. i know that his Bad Boy facade shouts slytherin, but while he has larger goals (killing all the titans, then saving the world etc.), he's got no actual ambition for himself. hufflepuff would also be a good option.

daemon (from the his dark materials series): (because i've just decided that's just way more accurate than the hp method) some kind of big feline. maybe a panther - a black panther would be the ideal - aloof, predatory, dangerous, fiercely independent.

best quality: besides his obvious strenghts as a leader and warrior, the way he cares for his comrades-in-arms. it's very hard to gain his trust and respect, but once you have it, it's forever. he's pragmatic and ruthless, yes, but he also has a huge capacity for compassion and friendship. not that he would be effusive about his affections, of course.

worst quality: none, he's absolutely perfect ❤ jklsdfhjk jokes aside, he really struggles to open up (a serious understatement), idt he ever talked about his traumatic past with anyone. i mean, maybe he mentioned it to hange and erwin (erwin knew him when he was still an undergound thug, so...), but... he's not great with feelings. despite his apathetic, intimidating mask, he feels and cares deeply, but he has a long history with losing the people he loves, so he tries to not personally care about his squadmates, which can be both a strenght and a weakness. of course, he spectacularly fails at this.

ship them with: well, it's not a secret that i'm a huge rivamika fan, this ship is almost literally consuming my waking thoughts lmao. imo they're perfectly compatible: very similar personalities (stoic, the strongest warriors, absolutely terrifying on the battlefield but with a soft underbelly), very similar pasts/experiences, so many parallels that it's actually ridiculous, etc. i love how they're both each other's equals and likeness (yes, i took it from jane eyre. no, i don't regret anything lmao). a lot of tropes i love, too: Terrible First Impression (the Pride and Prejudice vibes are so strong with these two, you have no idea), Kindred Spirits/Mirror Images, Veteran/Young Prodigy, The Last of Their Kind, even Height Difference lmao. i could write a whole rivamika manifesto, but this is already too long. (maybe for some other time 👀) i would've loved for their dynamic to be more explored in canon but alas, isayama clearly didn't give a shit about the ackerman legacy, he just used it as a plot shortcut to give them conveniently unique powers, since they never really talked about it 🙄 (and before some troll comes into my askbox shouting "you iNcEsT fReAk!!!!1!!", they're only very distantly related. we know shit about the ackermans but we know for sure that they've got at least several generations between them. biologically their shared DNA is 0%, obviously they don't see each other as family, all the eldians have a dead ass common ancestor from 2000 years ago so they're all basically ⁓related anyway. if you really wanna scream about i.ncest, go watch got/dark/the borgias and shut the fuck up please. or alternatively go outside and touch some grass) sorry for the rant, uh. anyway, i can also see levi/erwin. idk if i'd ever care enough to read a fic about them (i'm usually a huge multishipper, but for some weird reason not when it comes to rivamika? same with braime and kastle tbh), but still, i can see it.

brotp them with: hange and erwin, obv. veteran trio >>> ema trio, sorry not sorry (at least h. and e. died before yams had the chance to ruin their character arcs)

needs to stay away from: ...uh, filth, i guess? lmao

misc. thoughts: besides the stupid teenage fangirl crush i have on him, i'm genuinely fascinated by the man himself. he's a huge mess of a contradictions, and yet somehow it works: he's violent and brash and kind of an asshole, but also has a strong moral code and integrity; he's obv very skilled at all the killing/torturing stuff and yet he has a huge respect for life; he's got a potty mouth to say the least, and yet some very aristocratic manners/tastes (the way he sits, his preference for tea and usually refined clothes); he comes from what's supposed to be an illustrous bloodline, he's methodical and very precise, and yet he was born and raised in the underground, he's been used to filth and blood and poverty since he was a child, kenny of all people was his father figure, and probably has known no other life than a perennial survival mode existence. he's "humanity's strongest soldier", but while well-built he's also small, the david to the titans' goliah, and probably not what people would assume a born warrior looks like. he's also one of the few characters who stayed true to himself and his original characterization until the end, bless you smol king ❤

(okay, this is getting long!)

mikasa:

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

this is actually easy: mikasa belongs to hufflepuff and no, i won't take criticism (just joking lol). enough with this "hufflepuffs are fluffy puppies/Cinnamon Rolls <3" thing: mikasa values loyalty and duty more than anything else. she's also hardworking... and fierce, strong, lethal. yes, hufflepuff and lethal are not mutually exclusive concepts.

daemon: (finally the better option) a she-wolf, fiercely protective of her pack.

best quality: loyal, brave, incredibly strong (alongside her more fragile qualities). practical and level-headed on the battlefield, at least when eren is not included in the picture.

worst quality: struggles to let go of the past (understandable, considering her trauma). tunnel-vision when it comes to eren, obv. extreme levels of delusions ("if only i spoke openly about my romantic feelings for him - as if i didn't made them abundantly clear in ⁓6 years - he wouldn't kill 80% of humanity :(((" lmao okay. just. okay), but that's more on the writing. she's sadly more static than any other main character throughtout the whole series.

ship them with: see above :) but recently i've also started to be intrigued by mikasa/annie and mikasa/sasha. also, i'm sympathetic to jeankasa fans, though i don't actually care for the ship.

brotp them with: EMA trio, especially armin+mikasa. their friendship is so beautiful and special. also sasha.

needs to stay away from: ...... eren, at least romantically. again, that's more on the writing than anything else, but e.remika unfortunately encompasses many tropes i loathe with all the strength of my old shriveled heart: childhood friends-to lovers where the (male) childhood friend doesn't acknolewdge/is completely indifferent to the other (female) friend's romantic feelings, she hopelessly pines for him for years without anything more than a cold shoulder... until in the last chapter it's revealed that he loved her all along and doesn't "want other men to have her!!! :((" (then why did you have no reaction whatsoever to jean's years-long crush on her while she was jealous of any vaguely female-shaped human being you were friendly to, including hange? are you that dumb, man?); the female character's development and entire arc 100% revolves around the male protagonist - she has no goals, no dreams of her own except staying with him forever and ever; the romance is based on an idealized childhood dream, therefore reaffirming those childish illusions would make the character regress, not actually grow up (and nope, epilogue!jk doesn’t count; that also lacks build-up - i would’ve said the same about rm as well, so it’s not about shipping, guys, it really isn’t - and mikasa needed an inner change; getting married to another man but still praying to eren’s shrine is not substitute to actual development lol). post-time skip she's never really frustrated/angry with him, they never get a confrontation about him becoming a, y'know, mass-murderer of gigantic (pun intended) proportions; she puts him on a pedestal, and never stops idealizing him/never sees him for what he actually is (the narrative framing him as some kind of tragic martyr/saint eren from paradis with zero agency and basically... no clear motivation for the abovementioned mass murder, and not the actual complex tragic anti-hero/villain motivated by revenge and righteous fury he deserved to be, does not help). it lacks a good or even decent build-up - it's basically all tell and not show. now, if they'd actually been childhood friends to enemies to lovers/mutually co-dependent... it could have been interesting. sadly, it's not my cup of tea. of course this is just my personal preference, no hard feelings to the shippers.

misc. thoughts: enormous potential. she's been my fav female character since s1 - and ah, i miss s1!mikasa, when she had actually other stuff to do besides mothering eren. i love that she's the strongest warrior (second only to levi, obv), that her skills are never called into questions despite her gender, i love how she stands up for herself and the people she loves, that she may seem cold and stoic and yet has a such a huge heart, that she's not perfect but also sometimes awe-inspiring. sadly, she never really gets out of eren's shadow; what she lacks is an arc focused on herself. that's why imo getting deeper into the ackerman lore would've helped (also, you cannot make the main female character and the most popular male character descend from the same Unique Bloodline or whatever, and never really make them acknowledge it out loud; as a writer, you just can't lol). my spite is so strong that i'm currently writing a ridiculously pretentious fic that's 70% development for her character, to give her a voice, and 30% ackerthirsting. (yes, that's the fic i'm always vagueblogging about lmao, rip @ my brain). if any other rivamika fan is interested… mind you, it’s in italian tho, and idt i have the skills to translate into english.

misa:

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

daemon: mmh, maybe some kind of butterfly? beautiful, colorful, and short-lived.

best quality: glorious fashion sense, more inventive and ingenious than fans actually give her credit for.

worst quality: shallow, impulsive, and obv her dependence on/obsession with light (which stems from trauma btw, but still… the very opposite of a relationship between equals).

ship them with: rem, kinda (monster/human ftw!). also weirdly enough mogi, a little bit? she deserves someone who actually respects her… though she’s far from being a perfect angel. she may actually be crazier than light on some aspects. but in this house we stan evil ladies anyway, so i have no problem with that <3

brotp them with: uh, idk, maybe matsuda?

needs to stay away from: obv light. also takada.

misc. thoughts: a tragic victim of sexist writing. she may be… unhinged to say the least, but she didn’t deserve the abuse she got from light (and from the fans). the female characters’ writing in dn is so bad that idk if it’s on purpose, to kinda mirror the reality of women in a patriarchal society (dependent on men, housewives whose life entirely revolves around their husband/boyfriend etc.), or just casual misogyny lol. it’s even more baffling since we don’t know the author’s gender (they may be a man, a woman, nb, anything really). i tend for the latter option tho.

aegon greyjoy (now, i wasn’t expecting him lol):

hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff

i’m so sorry, i haven’t the slightest idea lmao. maybe gryffindor? mind you, it’s been a long time since i’ve re-read the books, so i don’t have many thoughts about him.

daemon: maybe it’s cliché, but some kind of fish/squid lmao

best quality: ugh, i really can’t remember much from his chapters :(( he’s not a coward, i guess? (lame answer, sorry!)

worst quality: definitely his religious fanaticism.

ship them with: no one.

brotp them with: uh… his family, ig? except euron.

needs to stay away from: obv euron. brr ://

misc. thoughts: i genuinely like the greyjoys chapters, though i vastly prefer the martells (with the exception of theon and asha, bcs i love them). yes, they’re deranged. yes, victarion is… well, victarion lol. but the drowned god religion is actually interesting, grrm knows how to write trauma - every time aeron mentions euron and that freaking door i’m like… :// - and the tragedy of it all… just great writing all around.

okay, that’s the end lmao. thank you so much, love!!! ❤❤

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #asks #cafeleningrad #if *anyone* dares to start stupid wank on my super niche blog they'll be blocked on sight i'm warning you #snk salt

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possessionisamyth · 4 years

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i know the ending had to be rushed because instead of the usual 13 episode seasons AS decided to drop genndy to 10, BUT i started thinking about the daughters of aku and boy do i have some things to say writing wise, and no this isnt about “realism” but just how to make their presence as a unit more impactful or how to make ashi’s character development better as a temp antagonist to jack, spoilers below if you havent finished watching samurai jack

Option 1: Have the daughters of Aku be raised by Aku.

Some people have already suggested this as a cute AU, but to be honest that would strengthen the daughters bond with Aku more than just having hearsay through their mother. And since Aku does have emotions, isn’t afraid to spread propaganda onto children (the fairytale episode), and is building a kingdom that encompasses the universe, that would’ve been a great alternate to Jack’s stance, where instead of fighting just some assassin troupe he’s technically fighting an assassin troupe of princesses when he was once a prince whose own kingdom was destroyed by their father.

The bonds between the sisters would be tighter in that they respected their father both out of fear and the time they spent with him because he would’ve told them all the lies they needed to hear for them to trust him, he would’ve taken moderately good care of them(basic provisions), and he would definitely let them wreak havoc where ever they wanted without suffering consequences as long as they didn’t fuck up his own shit. “Mindless drone sisters except for one” doesn’t stick for long when it comes to guilt about murdering them, but “rebel girl gang who trusts their father and has many reasons to think you’re genuinely the bad guy” definitely would.

To not just have Ashi yelling at Jack, but all of the sisters shit talking him out of vitriol. Throwing his guilt back into his face. “If you’re so great, why couldn’t you save them? If you’re so good, why did you kill them?” Have Jack have to deal with his guilt inside and outside from a group of women who were indoctrinated to believe everything their father said just like Jack was and then really make him question what’s the difference between him and them? His father could’ve done all the same things telling him what’s evil and what isn’t. Yes, he still knows Aku is evil, but this train of thought would be humanizing them even further to the brink where Jack isn’t sure he can kill any of them. Cause it was “easier” when he could believe they didn’t have any emotions except for one (Ashi) but much more impossible when he has to accept that they all do. “They’re just robots.” No, they’re not. They’re just like you, Jack.

Option 2: Some sisters don’t die.

Make the killing blows accidents. Going with their canon way of being raised, have Jack still understand that they’re people, and make the killing blows reactionary instead of functionary. He doesn’t want to kill them, but he’s so used to fighting, he’s so used to defending himself that the weapons he grabs and the attacks he does manage to hit the vitals of a few of the sisters while the rest he leaves mortally wounded or physically incapable of fighting. If they’re really raised as machines to kill him, this would leave them useless to complete the task.

Then have Jack, as he’s leaving the scene of carnage have to witness the sisters who can move crawling towards their fallen sisters, trying to hold back bleeding wounds, scraping through the reddening snow in an attempt to show compassion for the one’s whose lives are fading away.

And then have Jack make a choice. He could leave them there. Some of them might make it, but probably not. Even if they all did, they wouldn’t be able to chase him any more. The wounds he inflicted on them would prevent them from fighting as they used to unless they got a fuck ton of physical therapy and/or robotic prosthesis. Or, he could do the same as he did with Ashi in canon and take the survivors. Teach them about the world. About Aku’s lies. About what he’s really fighting for, and let them make the choice on their own. Because they never had a choice before, but now they do, and let it be overwhelming and confusing. Let them make mistakes, but let them learn from it. They don’t all have to make the right choice at the end, but they shouldn’t have to die for it. Show the conflict and correction from sisters who did make the right choice and let them be.

Option 3: None of the sisters die by Jack’s hand.

Same as option two, but Jack doesn’t kill any of them. He saves the ones who need immediate medical attention, teaches them, and lets those sisters go back to the ones he only inhibited. The saved sisters try to pass the rhetoric they learned only to be deemed weak and now they all have to fight each other. It can be to the death. The evil sisters who refused to change or learn would die, Ashi wouldn’t be by herself. They’d all have to come to terms with what they’ve done as some either go to fight Aku with Jack and Ashi, while the others leave so they can stew in their guilt of killing their sisters.

Option 4: Get his ass!!!!!

Have Ashi actively resent Jack for killing all her sisters. No, I don’t care what half-assed explanation Ashi gave to her mother, you don’t get raised with 6 other people and some of them NOT form of bond between each other when you’re all working towards the same goal. Especially when they had to function as a unit! Her mother wasn’t Aku, she didn’t see everything they did as soon as it was bedtime for 20 something years.

I want this to be a chip on her shoulder, I don’t want her shifting the blame of everything onto her mother. Yes, Jack was going to kill everyone and only Ashi survived, but why didn’t he do the killing blow for her? Why didn’t he try harder to save any of the other sisters? Why did he go for the kill shot every time instead of just mortally wounding them to prevent them from fighting if he knew they were humans and not robots? Isn’t he supposed to protect people? Isn’t he supposed to save people? Like yes, still have her learn the world is a wonderful place and Aku is making it worse, and still have her go to fight Aku for the sisters she’d lost, but don’t have her fall in love with the man who killed the only family she’d ever known before being thrusted into an unknown world and then have a sexual awakening on top of that??????? WHAT???????

Would've been better having Ashi see things and think of memories of her sisters that connected her with them through said images or objects, and then going through the process of mourning for each one before the confrontation with her mother.

Option 5: Have Ashi fall in love with Jack first. (Best One for Romance)

Can we say scouting missions? The daughters of aku were displayed as being curious through scenes when they observe unusual behaviors to the new environments they’re scouring through. Have them hunt Jack without the efficiency of the imakandi, and learn about the world on their own. Ashi is the leader so she’s responsible for finding Jack first, but that leaves the other six to sharpen weapons, get supplies,etc. They do need to eat and sleep as they’re still human. Then they have to interact with people, and animals, and nature and learn on their own. Have them hear stories about how great Aku is, and how awful Aku is from a variety of the people they have to meet from these supply runs or leads towards Jack that turn out to be false.

Make them argue with each other about what’s true and what isn’t from what they’ve heard of Aku. Show a struggle of acceptance when the strangers they talk to present proof of how “Great” or “Awful” Aku has been. Let them make the decision on what being human actually means WHILE Ashi is scouting and watching Jack do all these good things for innocent people, and then have her come back to settle any confusion ready to say their mother is wrong only to be interrupted by their mother telling them Jack’s location before Ashi can get the words out.

Even sweeter if you have Jack notice when he’s alone versus when he’s “alone” (ashi is watching), and he talks to her. It starts with things like “if your intent is to kill me, I ask you to reconsider” then changes to “if you’re hungry, i’m leaving the excess here, help yourself” until its “your killing intent has long since vanished, do you wish to speak to me finally?” because Jack is already used to randos turning into traveling companions (blue totoro, da samurai, scotsman, ikra) he can accept the stalking to an extent as long as it doesn't escalate negatively.

After their mother’s message, the sisters find Jack, but they struggle to fight him not out of lack of skill, but because they know so much about the world now, and they’re not sure what to believe anymore. Let Jack see their hesitation and capitalize on it with his words, until Ashi puts her foot down by taking Jack’s side. Since she’s the leader, and with all they know now, they choose to follow Ashi’s word. They then proceed to travel together and tease tf out of Ashi about her feelings for the samurai.

Final thoughts:

Any of these options excluding 4 since it’s more canon streamlined, could be much more easily done by having the first half of the series being about the sisters development flanking Jack’s turmoil plot, and the second half being about the daughters making mistakes and learning from them as they build towards the final fight which becomes much more badass in that Jack’s friends are fighting anywhere from 2-7 daughters of aku in that cool evil form with all the evil robots.

The relationship of the daughters of aku was more of a pacing issue than a writing issue, but I think if they focused more on the fact of we’re going to watch a family die over a lie instead of “they’re all mindless and only ashi has emotions” their deaths would’ve hurt A Lot more. Ashi’s development would’ve been more meaningful, and Jack’s guilt would’ve been much heavier. However someone wanted their hashed in romance so I guess this would’ve stuck a sword in their well-made plans.

Not to mention the idea that the daughters were the only people Jack killed over the span of 50 years makes it ring more out as shock value killing. As if there wouldn’t be non-robotic aliens or non-robotic humans or non-robotic human-alien hybrids who wouldn’t 100% follow Aku of their own violation? Nah, we’ve seen them, and we can see what privilege does to people. Plus if they had privileges that would be taken away by Aku’s downfall...well...I don’t think Aku was the only one asking for Jack’s head on a platter.

#samurai jack #daughters of aku #ashi #jashi #meta #i do like jashi i just wish it was executed better #long post of alternatives

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