#since if say a tiktok definition differs well its good to be aware but i need to be able to

[mejomonster]

Any other trans friends i could use ur personal knowledge input. Ill also look this up though so don't worry im assuming like the definution of bi theres gonna be varied overlapping definitions

(So pre warning these first big paragraphs are preamble on what ive heard as far as more recent definitions, it can ALL be skipped down to my question. Basic summary is: DEI taught about gender identity, gender presentatuon, and sexuality spectrums and how they dont necesarily match the way stereotypes would expect as each Individual experiences those 3 spectrums their own way). Okay so the last time i got proper formal definitions taught was a Diversity Equity Inclusion training. Which was eons ahead of what my schools ever taught but it was still not all encompassing. Training included mentioning: sexuality is a spectrum, pansexuality and bisexuality are being able to feel attraction to multiple genders, heterosexuality and homosexuality are attraction to one gender, asexuality as an umbrella term for people who experience no sexual attraction or various levels different than the other sexualities, queer is an all encompassing umbrella term that lgbt people may use but a person outside the community should not use to refer to a person unless specifically asked to (and its also a label various academic texts use to describe lgbt elements discussed). Also the romantic attaction spectrum was mentioned, as like the sexuality spectrum but not necessarily matching it for any particular person (as in one can be bisexual and demiromantic, homoromantic and asexual, not just say bisexual and alloromantic). Training mentioned gender identity is a spectrum (and nonbinary is an umbrella term, as is genderqueer, for various identites that dont identify as men and women, agender includes people who do not identify with genders - basically gender is diverse as human experience, as with all other points).

Gender Presentation is a spectrum, and they do NOT have to match up (such as a butch woman, a feminine woman who goes by he him, a feminine man who uses he him, a masculine looking man who wears dresses basically in terms of clothing hair pronouns social activities any person can embody any kind of traits along the masculine to feminine spectrum - and may also align them differently as in a country woman may see "girls dont cry!" As a feminine associated expectation while an oldest son might also see "boys dont cry" as a masculine associate expectation to his own life experience, i could go on forever but basically clothes/hobbies do NOT equal gender identity. Pronouns do NOT necessarily equal gender identity). So like. The trainer my nonbinary coworker used examples like them using the pronouns they/he/she and prefering to dress more masculine but still using they/she/he and sometimes really enjoying dresses and still using they/she/he, of how some butch women may prefer he him or she her and theyre women If they simply identify as women, women who wear pants and no makeup and go by she her, men who love makeup and go by he him, some of my coworkers realized that day they prefered they/them (presentation) even if their gender identity was man or woman. Basically the point is Presentation is diverse. There is no one to one perfect list of traits to define what each gender identity "must be." Youre your gender identity because you are that gender, it feels right for you. You express and present yourself how you want, and that doesnt necessarily align with masc for men or fem for woman or androgynous for nonbinary, those are just the basic things strangers might assume. And the person labelling themselves understands more than you. (So in this case like gender nonconforming presentation would be a man who wears glam makeup or woman who never wears makeup, a nonbinary person who leans heavily into clothes that arent associated with androgyny, im not explaining well but i hope u are kinda getting my point).

Anyway my point was Gender Identity (im a guy a girl im nonbinary im agender), is not the same as Gender Presentation (the spectrum of human traits society vaguely interprets as masculine feminine and androgynous and where each individual lands in terms of presenting themselves such as clothing, hair, hobbies, social traits, etc)

Now my question Im really confused about:

Im nonbinary im bi. Im also a few other things and sometimes just saying im queer makes my life easier.

Im a bit confused about what transmasc and transfem as labels mean. Because i can only interpret the words on my current knowledge by guessing the masc and fem in the words Either relate to Gender Identity, or Gender Presentation. The words obviously are for trans people. But i have no idea at all where a trans butch woman falls in this scale, or a trans man who dresses very femininely, or nonbinary people like me who embrace masculinity and femininity a lot (and hey its okay if maybe nonbinary ppl like me just dont fit inside these terms).

Is the masc and fem in those labels referring to "man-spectrum" gender IDENTITY and "woman-spectrum" gender IDENTITY?

So this would mean maybe transfem: trans woman, any nonbinary or genderqueer person who relates slightly more to feeling the gender of woman, this would include trans butch women, and nonbinary people with beards etc who present visually very masculine but identify slightly more with women

Transmasc: trans man, nonbinary or genderqueer person who relates more slightly to the gender of man. This would include feminine trans men who wear dresses and makeup, include nonbinary people who Present visually very feminine but identify slightly more with men

OR is the masc and fem relating to gender PRESENTATION? Which would mean the terms include any trans person of any gender identity, who mainly presents masculine or mainly presents feminine

Transfem: trans women who are feminine presenting, trans men who are feminine presenting, nonbinary people who are more feminine presenting visually (feminine presenting as in clothing, hairstyles, hobbies etc that generally are interpreted by others as feminine)

Transmasc: trans men who are masculine presenting, trans women who are masculine presenting, nonbinary people who are more masculine presenting visually

Can you see where im getting confused? Depending on if masc and fem are refering to gender identity Or presentation, a trans butch woman is transmasc or transfem. So would a trans butch woman be transfem for transitioning to a woman physically, or transmasc for physically presenting masculinely and being trans. Would a nonbinary person who medically transitioned taking testosterone who wears dresses and makeup be a transmasc (for being a trans man) or transfem for being a trans person who presents feminine fashion choices. And im assuming the labels dont include nonbinary people that dont really lean one way or the other but like... if a nonbinary person is included in the terms is it based on the gender they more closely identify to on the spectrum (which for some of us is None, is multiple, is gender identities not within man or woman), or in the terms it is based on their visual presentation (which again! Nonbinary people can be androgynous, can embrace masculinity and femininity, can embrace one more than the other, can present our selves in ways meant to exclude those categorizations).

Tldr: is the masc and fem in transfem and transmasc refering to gender Identity or gender Presentation?

(And i suppose part of my confusion is like. Unfortunately in my social media experience over the last 10 years i saw the rise of "are you afab or amab" which screamed unpleasant unnecessary attempts to drag us back to "but what were u before transition" bullshit, and then recently in the "girl dinner" "boys are academia girls are shopping" and the lgbt community similar memes "lesbians are cottagecore gay men are clubbing" "transmen are so bob the builder transwomen are so my little pony" its giving Gender Expectations. Its giving: old school traditional limiting gender requirements on people if they want to conform to traditionalist norms. Its giving girls are stupid and soft abd emotional and boys are strong and smart and analytical - which isnt true by the way, you can be any traits regardless of gender identity you are. Ive been seeing a lot of "transmascs are army clips" "transfem are delicate jewelry" memes lately and its just like... aside from the fact im already sick of reinforcing gender stereotypes in a broad way. The memes are also confusing me because im like okay so is this implying trans men MUST be masculine, and transwomen MUST be feminine? Cause if its about gender identity, then that sure feels like thats the implication. I dont necessarily think the actual labels imply that necessarily, but i do think the memes of this nature just like ALL the widespread gender-stereotype memes imply some shit about expectations i do not like seeing reinforced as much as it goes around)

#rant #id appreciate it if a follower or mutual shared the definitions as they understand them #cause yall are the ones i see using the words most so its more important i know what You consider transmasc or transfem #since if say a tiktok definition differs well its good to be aware but i need to be able to #understand and respect the definition of the label as people mean it Here on tumblr #im a nonbinary who doesnt lean toward any other gender identity and presents the full spectrum of fem to masc #so im fairly sure i. probably dont fit inside those labels at all

[scribbledghost]

I have a suggestion for a promp!! ✋feel free to consider it if it fancies you, disregard if it doesn't 💕 i felt like it might interest you, bc I really loved the drabble about reader being on base and the alarm going off and her finally meeting ghost, so to say! i feel like you might like the vibe of this as well. idk how to word it well, but i love stories where the two whole different worlds of a couple meet/merge bc of A Situation which lays their differences bare, their consequent reaction to their so's/the situation at hand itself etc

i saw this super cute tiktok the other day of a couple, where the husband/bf? is trying to instill more safety awareness into his partner, he pretends to leave the house, closes the front door and even fakes his footsteps but then knocks on the door to see if his gf will automatically open up assuming its him or look thru the peephole to see who it is

she doesn't ask, and opens up right away (like most of us would do i mean lbr!!) and he berates her for it while she playfully waves it off as him being too paranoid and so serious (mannnn I wish I had it saved!!!) and idk i think was just such super cute moment and I could totally see simon and his so in this situation. Simon has more than his fair share of awareness of what could and does go wrong in the world and is determined to "train" his gf and give a safety drill whenever he sees the opportunity for it (he might even do so bc he is, unconsciously or not, trying to protect her from a fate his family faced because of him) but his gf is happily unaware of that dark side of the world and is like "🤷‍♀️aww but i just knew it was you babe besides im pretty sure nothing could get past you to get to me anyway💕💕" and he is both baffled bc of her casualness (she's a civilian but still), somewhat amused bc he can never get "mad" at her, it would be like getting mad at a puppy who doesn't get a trick right on the first try, and he feels his heart swell because she feels, she knows nothing would get past him to hurt her. he would die sooner than to have a hair on her head harmed (ok this got angsty real quick!!!🥹💕❤️)

🌻anon (also I am sorry for the wall of text omg!!! English isn't my first language so i guess I overcompensate to explain myself wow!! You are a gem in this fandom btw??? I honestly love how detailed your writing is. Quality work, top notch!👌😘💕)

Note: I have been staring at the last paragraph of this for the past five minutes because thank you so so much???? (Also your English is perfect I promise) it seriously means so much to me to hear people like my writing 🥺💖💖 But this definitely interests me! (Personally, I'm wildly paranoid about my own safety, so I'd definitely be checking that peephole every time lol but we're gonna disregard that)

"Love, you're gonna end up givin' me more gray hairs than I've already got."

"And why's that?"

Simon pinches the bridge of his nose and lets out a huff. He's not angry - he doesn't think he could ever be angry at you (at least not for long) - but he's starting to wonder if you've got any self-preservation instincts at all.

This isn't the first time you've failed one of his many "safety tests," as you call them. From leaving your car unlocked while you're sitting in it to opening a window overnight when the weather permits, he swears he's aged a decade since living with you. Price had once told him that worrying for your safety was part of the package of loving a civilian, but Simon hadn't quite predicted he'd be worrying this much.

"How many times have I told you to check before you open the door?" he asks.

"But I knew it was you. You just left," you chirp. Good lord, you're too cute for your own good.

"And if it hadn't been me?" he asks. "If someone had taken me out on my way to the car then come to you? You've got to start considering the possibilities, love."

To your average outsider, it probably seems like he's berating you. But the way your eyes sparkle at him tells him you know better. Chastising you, perhaps, but there's no true anger there.

Instead, there's an undercurrent of fear. He knows the consequences of opening the door to the wrong person. And he knows that if the day ever comes when he comes home to blood on the walls and the sight of your lifeless eyes, he'll sit next to you and make sure he dies there too.

But that's a road Simon doesn't want to go down. Not right now, anyway. Not when you're here, smiling at him with mischief in your gaze.

"Simon, be real. I know nothing can get past you to get to me."

He feels his heart rise when you tell him this. Of course, he knows in his soul that he'd never let anything harm you. He knows he'd do unspeakable things to keep you safe. But to hear you say that you know it too sends warmth through his chest.

"Be that as it may," he says, unable to stop himself from quirking a small grin, "you still need to check. Just to be safe."

He grabs your hand as you raise it to wave him off, pulling you slightly closer and angling your chin so he can really look at you and convey the seriousness of his words.

"Please, love," he says. "For me?"

Your gaze softens as you lean into his touch.

"Okay, Simon," you murmur to him. "I promise I'll check before I open the door. For you."

Part of him isn't quite sure if he believes you. But for now, he lets himself feel relieved anyway.

"Good," he says as he leans in to kiss you. "I'll hold you to that."

#simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost scribbles

[noyasaur]

hii idk if u’ve answered this or not, but i looked in ur masterlist or whatever its called and i didnt see the question i have so i thought i’d ask!!

So basically, are shifting symptoms real? Ppl on tiktok or other platforms say that they are just signs your body is falling asleep so i just wanted to know

have a good day!!

₊✩‧₊˚౨ৎ˚₊✩‧₊

helloo! reality shifting symptoms do exist, but a lot of the 'shifting symptoms' that we recognise as symptoms of shifting realities (e.g. body twitches, body numbness, tingles, etc.) are just symptoms of your body falling asleep.

reality shifting as an experience is subjective. different shifters are going to feel different things and 'symptoms.' i've seen some shifters experience 'symptoms' such as flashing lights, feelings of falling or being pulled down/upwards, or experiencing few senses of their dr (e.g. smelling scents from their dr, hearing things from their dr) as they become aware of their dr.

and on the other hand, some shifters report that reality shifting literally feels like nothing. a simple one minute they're in this reality, and in the next they open their eyes and they're suddenly in their dr. it's different for everyone and definitely depends on the type of method you do (e.g. awake or sleep method, etc.)

i don't think there is any physical 'symptom' that indicates that you are currently in the process of shifting, since reality shifting is not a physical process. however, i think it's safe to say that experiencing things like smelling scents or hearing things from your dr, is a sign that you are slowly becoming aware of your desired reality.

i hope this helped! good luck on shifting and have a good day as well! :D

- saturn ♡

#shiftblr #shifting #reality shifting #desired reality #shifting realities #reality shifter #shifting blog #desired realities #noyasaur #shifting community #ask saturn💌

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Hey, you're from Germany, right? Do you have any tips for writing a German character? Most specifically, a German character studying abroad, and another character placed in Germany working In a office.

Things like relationships (familial, platonic, and romantic), office culture, normal habits, and cultural shocks a German may have would be very appreciated!

Sorry if this ask is tiresome. Thank you so, so much! <3

As always, Germans are like other people. Different personalities, different opinions, different worldviews — every German is different. So, you have a lot of options to build your character with a unique character.

That being said…

Studying abroad/living in Germany

So…I assume studying in ’merica, aye? I have been there when I was a teeny tiny cat but I have also heard stuff from people who have studied abroad. And uhhhh Germans hate Americans lol (though this could also be a European thing, not a German thing).

We make fun of your school system a lot. I don’t wanna be mean but things like education, school safety, your food etc. are often victims of our dark humour. A friend of mine was studying abroad and the people could genuinely not tell what exactly Germany is. Is it a country? A continent? A city?

Adding to that, she was overwhelmed with things like “Do you know Hitler?” or “Are you a Nazi?”

Bro…we spend months and years learning in detail about our country’s history. We visit concentration camps. We watch movies from that time, analyse in detail how the people got manipulated. We read books the victims wrote. Germany still imprisons people who are a hundred years old. Germany is well aware of its past. It’s also aware that something like this cannot happen ever again.

Since that was a bit deep uhhhh let’s go over to food. I dunno about y’all but from what I’ve heard…you’re ordering food for dinner and eat it on paper plates…? Look that’s what I’ve heard and I gotta tell you that most Germans eat bread and Brötchen for dinner (though this is also changing, a lot of people are cooking warm meals for dinner nowadays).

And — can’t stress this enough — Germans love bread. When you go into a supermarket, the first thing you’re gonna see is a bakery.

And inside the supermarket is also a mini bakery.

We love it. Can’t really live without it.

Germans complain (at least here in the East). You go out with friends? Instantly complaining about your stupid neighbours. You go to the club? Instantly complain how lame it is. You went somewhere for a special occasion? Instantly talking about everything that went well and all the things you would’ve loved to be better.

Germans love football (soccer). Personally, I hate it more than anything. But Germans love it. It’s insane to me. They sit in the stadium and scream…definitely has something Romanesque to it.

I’d say most people have a rather difficult relationship with their parents. Generational trauma is a big thing. I mean, Germany being split and being reunited is a big part of my parents’ childhood. And since healthy communication wasn’t really a thing back then, most parents just don’t really know how to communicate with their children. So, I’d rather say it’s kinda messed up? Again, I can’t speak for everyone but that’s just what I’m getting from talking to my friends etc.

It’s not that they don’t love us, it’s just that they cannot always show it when we need it.

I believe it is best if you watch a few TikToks of people who aren’t from Germany experiencing Germany, they can definitely tell you about all the different things way better. For example this one is about “language,” cake, grocery stores, German windows lmao, and this German tiktok icon making fun of Americans.

I hope this is somewhat helpful? I’m not working in an office, so I can’t tell you much about that, unfortunately but maybe someone on Tiktok could help you with that. People documenting their life is a pretty good source of information. (Other than that do not trust TikTok ever!!!)

#writing tips #no writing #pls don’t cancel me LMAO #hope this helps

[what-if-nct]

hiiiii!! i have been dead but its ok bc mental health and college is demanding asf 😭 on a lighter topic (bc im still sad asf) is anyone else absolutely obsessed with the what it is haechan tiktok edits?? like dayum man, how do you move like that?? haechans dancing us sooo smooth and so underrated 😭 also i am having a slight sexuality crisis bc im attracted to literally every pretty girl i see but only like kpop boys or fictional ones :( or the really pretty boys, like i have never had a crush on a dude i knew irl, then again i grew up in a place filled with with white trailer trash. ooh i did just move for college tho so we'll have to see if that changes. rn either im just into femininity or im bi?? or?? im confused, we'll say that. anyways, how are you doing? hows life? i hope you're doing ok <333 lysm 💓💖💘💕💞🩷💗

Hiiii, well it's almost summer so you'll have a nice long break soon. And yes oh my gosh and he looks so good for like no reason, like lately he's been looking too good like him and Renjun, it's too much. But I think I'm just finally out of seeing them like babies. Finally they took way longer than Jeno and Jaemin. And I Iove how every few months there's one song used for everyone but it just becomes Haechan's song cause it's literally perfect for him.

I think it is pretty common to be solely attracted to women but only really be drawn to unattainable and pretty men. I see it talked about a lot. Because I'm Bi my experience is a little different also since after something happened I'm slightly afraid to date women at this moment but I still love women but my main focus has been men for like three years so I can't exactly provide any proper insight. But I do know preferring just feminine people is definitely a thing. That's what it is for me I love women and pretty pretty boys. But I think being in a new environment might change your perception of things. But also it's normal to be attracted to one gender but find people in the opposite gender aesthetically pleasing. There's so many possibilities it will kind of work itself out while you're remaining aware of all of your feelings and putting it all together.

And I'm doing fine, a lot better than I was last week, Mercury being in retrograde really got me, mercury retrograde hasn't really got me like that since I think 2019 but it was during Scorpio season. And last week the moon was in Scorpio. So I wonder. Plus I was expecting my period which finally ended today yay! so ya know the planets, stars, and hormones just got the best of me. But I did start reading oracle cards again and I'm just using them for inner healing more than divination. They're just telling me I did all the hard work already I just need to wait, take care of myself, be nice to myself, protect myself and realize what makes me special. And it's actually kind of calmed my mind and I'm not crying every night. Also read a comment on a psychiatrist reacts to A&W by Lana del Rey video. A&W is already a song that I relate to but that comment was something I really needed to read. because it was exactly what I've been going through and feeling and it was really what I needed to read.

[babybirdarmy9]

To fakeclaim or not to fakeclaim: Why I think this goes deeper than a simple “yes” or “no”

TW/CW: fakeclaiming (duh), briefly describing a fear of causing accidents

If you have a short attention span, you may skip ahead because the first few paragraphs will be me explaining a bit about myself and why I decided to write this. I should strongly emphasise that this is my personal opinion as a neurodivergent. No I do not have a PHD, no I do not think that my words should be treated like a textbook. Just some thoughts of my own. Heads up: I have neither DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder), Autism, nor TS (Tourettes Syndrome) a.k.a conditions that fakeclaimers believe “fakers” enjoy pretending to have. I am clinically diagnosed with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and NVLD (Non-Verbal Learning Disability). When I use the term “faking” I am referring to the act of pretending to have a disorder in general and not faking any specific neurological condition. I originally intended to let this stay inside my head as a thought but it’s been a few days and it isn’t going anywhere. I feel like I have to say it out loud and I don’t care if no one sees it or sees it and thinks I’m stupid for having these opinions. I’ll confess that a while ago I subscribed to r/fakedisordercringe because I had heard that there was purportedly a rise in people faking disorders and as a neurodivergent I was fascinated and disgusted that people would perceive mental disorders as “fun” and “quirky” and turn it into an aesthetic which pop culture is indeed guilty of, my impression being that the subreddit would be aimed at calling out neurotypicals clearly proven to be faking. It seemed a nice enough place that could serve as a platform for neurodivergents to correct misinformation spread by known fakers and spread awareness and also had strict ground rules against doxxing, misgendering and direct harassment. There was an automod that would encourage users to NOT submit any genuine cases and to provide evidence of the person in the video faking their condition. I thought that the subreddit was well maintained and run for the first week or so I was there. Until I found a post containing a tiktok clip in which the person stated something along the lines of “walking in circles around the pole in my room is my favourite stim”. It was submitted by a user of the subreddit who described themselves as “diagnosed with autism”, and their argument was that “walking around in circles is not a stim” and that the person was “undiagnosed”. As someone with ADHD that has similar habits, I was confused as it felt very genuine to me. I replied that as someone with ADHD I exhibited similar behaviour and that the tiktok individual could be having ADHD, even in my comment I linked a WebMD of the medication I am currently taking. I reported it to the moderators of the subreddit under “bad evidence” and to their credit it was removed very quickly in under 5 minutes of me reporting it and slapped with the “bad evidence” flair (it could have been that others did the same) but in the time it was still up I was downvoted for my comment. This left me stunned and disheartened because I was under the impression that the users there were familiar with how mental disorders typically worked and that the majority of those subscribed are neurodivergent like me. That was the moment I began losing faith in it. The moment I was no longer certain they were 100% knowledgeable about the things they talk about. As soon as I was downvoted, I instantly went to check if “pacing around is a stim” because I started doubting whether what I am doing is what ADHD people are supposed to do. It made me question myself. And yet, I can’t argue that the subreddit has no purpose and that all they do is falsely accuse genuine sufferers. Because they have defended an individual from accusations of faking by other subreddit users. Because they have actually called out proven fakers like ticsandroses who earned money from faking tics and stopped spreading awareness about TS after they were exposed (correct me if this bit is wrong). Which is why I am still temporarily subscribed, and remaining cautious. Still, there’s now that lingering sense of wariness when a new post comes up: Is the person in the video actually a faker, or are they neurodivergents whose manifestation of the condition can be interpreted as “fake”? But I did have a realisation: Fakeclaimers and “fakers” (at least those who are really faking) are two sides of the same coin. They have the same problem. Both of them fail to view disorders as a spectrum, thinking that the behaviour of one member of the community is indicative of what the average sufferer should behave like. For “fakers” (again, those who are actually pretending), they take an extreme end of the spectrum as the “model” example, which is why some of the proven ones often can be observed to imitating the behaviour of well-known users that are known to actually have the condition when trying to create the illusion that they actually have it when they may not. (TheTrippyHippie is one of these genuine sufferers that documents what it’s like for her to live with her condition, Tourettes) They often set a low bar for the diagnostic criteria. “Blinking on the beat is ADHD!” “Shaking on the “my anxiety” song is an indication of anxiety!” “You like organising your snacks? OCD!”  And when I, with ADHD am unable to do these and am under the impression that people like me are SUPPOSED to, I can’t stop the thought that “maybe I’m the faker” from popping up in my brain. Why am I not shaking my hands to stim? I can’t focus on one song in this blend of audios but I’m apparently supposed to instinctively be able to do if I have the condition?  Fakeclaimers are the opposite. They often fakeclaim by downplaying the condition. “You’re faking because I know people in my life with *insert disorder* and I barely noticed that they had it while you’re trying to make it obvious”, “you don’t have it, you’re just neurotypical and acting out a tv show stereotype” or the one that hurts me the most “real sufferers wouldn’t be happy about their condition because it is the worst thing ever and all of them don’t want to have it and would pass their disability onto you FAKERS since you want to be neurodivergent so bad”, which I am often conflicted over because ADHD has its good and bad. On one hand the bad is really bad: The drowsiness I slip into when I’m unmedicated fucking sucks because it instilled in me a fear of driving because I always imagine myself falling asleep at the wheel and killing someone on accident, when I’m jittery and can’t sit still and my deadlines are running at me. But some aspects of ADHD can be really helpful like when I enter hyperfocus and actually get more stuff done than before, when new ideas rush into my brain out of a sudden and I’m overwhelmed yet happy. So to say that neurodivergents must resent their condition wholeheartedly makes me uncomfortable. I have a love-hate relationship with it but can’t deny that it has some hand in shaping my personal identity. To them, it’s fake because they think everyone should be on the mild end of the spectrum. Both of them don’t seem to understand that we all act differently. It’s a spectrum for a fucking reason! People who react more severely might not be fakers but be on the far end of the spectrum. People who barely react might be medicated at the time or having a mild version of the disorder. God, we’re not robots. Why can’t people just understand that? I wanted to argue for a particular side, but I can’t bring myself to do that. Not when either option brings about negative consequences and ultimately hurts people. I wish there was a definite answer. I wish there was a foolproof way to identify fakers and not drag actual sufferers by accident in the process. I wish there was a way to “just know” someone is faking. But there isn’t. But I hope that this rant on a hot afternoon in my country does add something useful to the discussion.

#tw fakeclaiming #fakeclaim #actually adhd #my rants #serious talk #personal opinion #sorry for the rant #neurodivergent #discourse

[racebox-of-higgars]

Why Was I Not Cut Out For The Task?

The final (at the moment) fic in the “Unkindest Cut Of All” series. 

MAJOR SUICIDE TW - DO NOT READ IF THIS COULD BE TRIGGERING FOR YOU. Please stay safe, and my DMs are always open if you need to talk. 

Summary: "Spot slumped onto the couch, cradling the jacket against his chest as he finally let the tsunami past its barriers and everything came over him at once, wave after wave of unrestrained, gasping sobs that wouldn’t let him come up for air, not once. Each one hurt more and more than the last, as tears flowed down his face, hot and unrelenting."

Spot finds out that Race is gone, and does his best to cope.

Based on the poem "Straw House, Straw Dog" by Richard Siken, with some influence from the song No Children by The Mountain Goats. Title from Turtles All The Way Down by Sammy Copley.

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/31475210

@angelslibrary 

It had been two days since Spot had last heard from Race. “You can sleep now.” That was the last message he had received. If it had been anyone else, he wouldn’t have been worried, but this was Race, who spammed him with 47 texts a minute at the best of times, but all he got was radio silence. So the fear slowly sank in, settling deep in the pit of his stomach and staying there, something he was only vaguely aware of at the edges of his consciousness. It crept in, until it became all he could think about.

Yesterday: 11:32am

You: Race, you okay?

Yesterday: 1:56pm

You: Can you just text me back? Let me know you’re okay? I want to talk to you about something.

Yesterday: 4:23pm

You: I’ll tell you now. I’m going to come out to my parents, and our friends. You won’t have to hide anymore

Yesterday: 11:18pm

You: Goodnight Racer, I love you

Today: 3:36am

You: Tony, I’m really fucking worried now. Please just tell me you’re okay

Today: 3:37am

You: Tony please

Today: 3:37am

You: Tony?

Today: 10:55am

You: Sorry for blowing you up last night. Are you alright?

You: 7 unanswered calls

Tony wasn’t answering. He wouldn’t pick up the phone. Why wouldn’t he pick up? He hadn’t even been online, which was out of character, since Race could nearly always be found endlessly scrolling Instagram or TikTok. Something was incredibly wrong, but Spot could not work out what, so instead he just sat there, going over every possible bad thing that could’ve happened and praying none of it was true as he couldn’t do anything but wait.

At around 2pm, just as Spot was getting ready to send yet another text, a knock sounded at his door. He half expected to see Race standing on the other side (he had a habit of showing up unannounced), but not Jack. He definitely didn’t expect to see Jack Kelly at his doorstep, with no warning, no reason to be there.

See, he and Jack had never gotten along well once. At best, they tolerated each other, at worst, they beat the shit out of each other. They tried to stay relatively civil for Race’s sake, but that didn’t mean that they had to actually like one another. They had a mutual agreement to not kill each other as long as it would make Race happy. That’s just how they worked.

“Why are you here? Where’s Race, he hasn’t answered me in days?” Jack’s face fell and he almost broke there and then, but he schooled his features into something carefully apathetic.

“I’ll explain, I just- you might want to sit down.” Spot frowned, but sat down on the sofa, whole body tense as the fear crept in again. Jack sat opposite him and set down the bag he had been carrying beside him.

Jack looked oddly serious, which was too out of character for Jack for it to go unnoticed.

“What’s going on?” Spot asked. Jack pulled a folded piece of paper out of the bag and handed it to Spot silently. Spot frowned in confusion as he unfurled it, eyes scanning over Race’s looping scrawl.

Spot. I want to open this by saying that I love you, and I’m sorry.

I’m sorry we could never have that future that you wanted. I’m sorry for tearing everything apart, over and over and over.

Spot shut down. He didn’t scream or cry or throw things, he was just unsettlingly silent. The pain crashed over him in waves, each one stronger than the last, but still, he couldn’t cry. He was just numb as his world came tumbling down around him. He seemed to collapse in on himself, as his shoulders slumped and his whole body seemed to cave in with the weight of the world. His hands trembled slightly as he kept reading.

You’re everything to me. I need you to know that. I know that I’m unlovable, I have for a while, but you made me forget that for a beautiful, fleeting moment. For the first time in my life I felt worthy of love, and it was because of you, and I can’t thank you enough for that. You gave me some of my best memories and feelings and you are unattainable and you have a million reasons to throw me aside but you don’t, for some illogical reason that I can’t fathom, and there will never be the words to describe how I feel about you. Just know that I love you beyond what should be possible.

Spot was completely numb as his eyes scanned the words on the page without actually reading them. He took nothing in, he couldn’t. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t move, he couldn’t speak. Cold hands seemed to wrap around his throat, squeezing tightly as it stole his breath. Fuck, he couldn’t breathe. He couldn't do anything but stare at the words in front of him as they swum through his blurred vision. Fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK. Everything was spinning and falling apart around him and there was nothing he could do to stop it or try to hold everything together. There was no putting this back together.

I am drowning, Spot, and there’s no sign of land. I was crashing and burning and bringing you down with me, hand in unlovable hand. I’m sorry for hurting you in all of this. This isn’t how it was supposed to end, but it was inevitable.

Y’know, our friends always say that there’s light at the end of the tunnel, just hold on, but I think they’re wrong. There is no light at the end of my tunnel. It just gets darker and darker and darker with no escape. This was my only escape, and I’m sorry it came to this. There was nothing else for me to do. It should never have ended like this, it wasn’t supposed to, but I couldn’t stop it. I wish things were different and we could’ve had forever.

Spot couldn’t help but think about the life they had planned, down to the most meticulous details. He had never thought it would happen exactly as they had talked about, that seemed impossible. All the best laid plans get torn apart anyway, but he hadn’t expected them to get torn apart in this way. He thought they would at least have a future.

There are a million things I could say here, but they would all be cliche, and I know you find those disgusting so I’ll keep this short. I love you. I love you so fucking much and I’m so sorry that things had to end this way. I’ll never stop loving you, I will until I can’t anymore. I hope that I’ll get to see you again someday, but until then, please know that I love you so fucking much, I always will.

Spot didn’t know what to do. Everything spun around him. He felt sick as the ground shifted under his feet and everything was just off-kilter and he couldn’t think or breathe or do anything but sit there and read the words that made him sick to his stomach.

I want you to have my jacket. I hope that someday you’ll have the courage to wear it.

I love you,

Tony.

The note slipped from Spot’s hand as he stared blankly at the air where it had been. Jack pulled Race’s jacket out of the bag and handed it to Spot.

“He- uh- he wanted you to have this,” Jack said, utterly out of his depth, with no idea what to say or do. All he knew is that they were going through the same loss, the same pain, with no way out. Spot took it from him, holding it gently, as if it were made of glass. It still smelled like Race.

“I’d like to be alone, please,” he said, voice hoarse with the difficulty of holding back an ocean.

“Are you sure that’s for the best?” Jack asked, brows furrowed with concern. He never thought he would be worried for Spot Conlon, but he also never thought something like this would happen.

“Leave me the fuck alone, Kelly!” Spot shouted. Jack held his hands up in surrender.

“Okay, okay. Just- text me if you want to talk? Please?”

“Get the fuck out.” Jack took that as a no.

Spot slumped onto the couch, cradling the jacket against his chest as he finally let the tsunami past its barriers and everything came over him at once, wave after wave of unrestrained, gasping sobs that wouldn’t let him come up for air, not once. Each one hurt more and more than the last, as tears flowed down his face, hot and unrelenting.

He didn’t know how long he cried for, but he couldn’t cry anymore. Now he just felt empty, hollow. His head hurt with the force of his sobs and his chest hurt from trying desperately just to breathe, but that wouldn’t bring Race back. Nothing would. He was gone.

Spot’s days were monotone. Wake up, have a coffee, watch mindless TV to block out the screaming thoughts that clawed at his mind, dream. Wake up, have a coffee, watch mindless TV to block out the screaming thoughts that clawed at his mind, dream. Wake up, have a- stop. He couldn't break the cycle. Over and over again the same things, as if he was going through the days on autopilot.

His dreams were the only thing that changed. Visions of memories, both good and bad - Race bathing in sunlight. Race’s tears mixing with the rain. Race dancing in the fields. Race collapsed at the bottom of some deep pit. Race’s eyes in the light of a bonfire, his head thrown back with laughter. Race about to burn. Race burning up (he seemed to smile from the centre of his fire). Race, Race, Race. He didn’t stop, didn’t leave Spot alone.

Spot remembered their last conversation. It was burned into his mind. Race, lying on his chest, tracing patterns on his collarbone.

“I want an adventure.” He had said. “I want to feel alive.”

“So have an adventure,” Spot answered. Race’s lips upturned into a cold, cold smile.

“Watch me, Spot. I’ll have the adventure of a lifetime.” He had the greatest adventure, the adventure to end a lifetime.

Every night was the same. Endless dreams, endless nightmares, endless visions of Race’s face and god all Spot wanted to do was reach out and touch him and know that he was there but every time he tried he disappeared in his arms. Spot was falling and falling and falling and Race couldn’t catch him because Race was dead.

Race had wanted to be cremated, so they cremated him and as Spot looked at the ashes he thought about the dream of Race smiling at him through the flames that consumed him. It was a sick sort of thing, really. They scattered the ashes in the wind by the sea. The sea like his eyes, alight with a fire gone out too soon. It was all too soon. Too much, too fast. They were too young to be feeling grief like this.

“I want an adventure.” Those words echoed over and over in Spot’s mind, the forlorn way Race had said them, as if longing for a childhood gone too soon. Spot thought them over, turning them over and over in his head before he came to his conclusion. He would have the adventure Race didn't get.

He found himself in the woods. Trees surrounded him, shrouding him from the outside world and birds sang from their nests. He ran through the trees, leaping over roots and straying from the beaten dirt path into unmarked territory. Birds flew from their nests as he passed and sticks and leaves crunched underfoot. He ran and he ran and he knew that Race wouldn’t be there to catch him if he stumbled, like the many times he had been before, but he didn’t care. His lungs burned, his legs burned, and Race was still smiling at him through the flames and this time Spot smiled back.

Spot had his adventure. It wasn’t the one he wanted, but it was the only one he was able to have.

Race was always there in some corner of his mind, like a fever Spot just couldn’t break, but he was learning to live with it. He was learning to live with the cold sweats and headaches and tremors, learning to live with the pain. It wasn’t going to go away, it never would, but he could learn to accept it as part of himself. Race would always be there, but his presence was one Spot could live with.

That didn’t make it any easier though. Spot couldn’t do anything. He was completely numb, no matter what he tried to make himself feel alive. He couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t do anything, it wasn’t like he wanted to anyway. He just lay there in bed, with Race’s jacket in his arms as the scent of Race overtook him and he listened to the blood pound in his eyes because that’s all he had the energy for. He tried to fix things, over and over, but there’s no fixing or bringing back the dead, and no matter how much Spot tried, Race was still dead, still gone.

He was dead, but still everywhere. Still hurt. Race tore everything in half. There was no putting it back together as Race burned it all down and Spot couldn’t rid himself of that nightmare, Race smiling back at him through the flames, a look in his eyes just like the one he had when he had told Spot to, “Watch me.” It coaxed Spot in, and made him want to follow. With those slightly upturned lips and the flames dancing in his eyes, who wouldn’t want to follow him? But Spot couldn’t, he knew he couldn’t.

Even so, he held onto that jacket like a lifeline. It was all he had left. The one thing he hadn’t lost to those cruel, merciless flames. It was the only thing that made him think, I don’t have to follow. I’ll wait. I have this piece of Race to keep me here, Race wouldn’t have given it to me otherwise. He could hold on, as long as he had this part of Race to keep him here. It was a choice, really. Follow Race, or try to make some good out of the worst situation possible. Whichever one takes over, whichever one you feed, that would decide how the rest of Spot’s life would go. He could maybe do something good with this. He looked at the jacket, and he knew Race had left it to him for a reason, he had wanted Spot to find the courage in himself to be out and proud.

He still couldn’t wear it, though.

He had to do something. Everything was slowly becoming too much. Spot stood in the rain as it slammed the pavement, soaking his skin, soaking his clothes, freezing him to the bone but he couldn’t move, couldn’t think. He felt alive as he stood out there, for the first time in months since Race had gone. He had thought it was getting easier to wake up each day, but it hadn’t. He hadn’t felt alive in so long, it was a shock to his system. He let the rain seep through his clothes and relished in the way he shivered against the bitter cold and the sky was black with thick, dark clouds and there was nothing but him, the sky, and the never ending rain.

The rain gave way to snow.

Had it been a year already? Spot stood under the fire-coloured sky as the snow came down around him in a sheet of pearlescent white. He wrapped Race’s jacket tighter around himself, inhaling Race’s scent that had mostly faded or given way to his own, despite how much Spot had tried to preserve it. It had taken a year, one of rain and blue skies (like Race’s eyes, Spot couldn’t help but think) and terrible storms and snow, but Spot had finally found it within himself to wear the jacket. The pride pins glistened proudly under the cold winter sunlight, and Spot’s courage surged. They were all so very Race, wearing the jacket made him feel as though Race was right there with him, holding his hand through everything. Spot smiled.

#suicide tw #sprace #spot conlon x racetrack higgins #newsies #racetrack higgins #spot conlon #jack kelly #newsies fanfiction #fanfiction #angst

[satorutini]

So Hot (You’re Hurting My Feelings)

pairing: jungkook x reader

wc: 2.1k

a/n: a whole year later, thanks to quarantine, i have returned. a drabble i made purely projecting my own feelings bc being isolated has made being far from loved ones very difficult to bear lol. so here is some fluff to help get you thru this fuckery. heavily inspired by this bop.

In the blaring fluorescent bathroom light, the strain on your eyes as you look at your phone takes twice as much effort as it should just after escaping the dimly lit dance floor.

Raising the screen an unnecessarily close distance to your face, you frantically attempt to unlock your phone, making an almost inhuman sounding hiss of annoyance when the facial recognition feature doesn’t work the first time. A quick glance at the mirror in your peripheral dawns a grim understanding; with the way you look, you wouldn’t recognize yourself either.

Three attempts later (your thumb kept pressing 6 instead of 9) grants you access to your messages and your heart drops. You swear - you swear - you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, and there definitely was a text notification-

The panic resides almost as quickly as it came at the sight of the thin blue loading bar crossing the top of your screen.

Koo appears bolded at the top of your inbox, and your heart soars. So, he didn’t entirely erase his memory of you and shackle up with some rich influencer snob in SoHo.

Koo [11:37]: ok, be safe:)

You deflate. It had been 30 minutes since he had read the text letting him know you were going out for the night, and a good two hours since you had sent it. You had been hoping for him to crack a joke or ask for a fit pic, or even whine a little that you were going without him. But he had only displayed the bare minimum of concern. Not even a fully written okay. Not even a real emoticon.

Slumping against one of the stall doors, you sigh. It’s not that you wanted him to worry about you while he was miles away in Manhattan. It was quite the opposite actually; before he had left, you had practically been his biggest cheerleader in advocating for your boyfriend to go after this internship and live his collegiate experience to its fullest potential.

So why did you feel so vulnerable without him here?

It was fine, the first two weeks. You texted back and forth almost every hour, staying up late to call each other on the phone. A plethora of video calls, photos and memes shared over the span of the first 14 days as you silently vowed to not let the stress of a long-distance relationship weigh you down. But then came the third week. Then came the second-guessing. Over-analyzing missed phone calls or shorter-than-usual exchanges over text usually led to you jumping to the completely irrational idea that he had forgotten about you, or cared less now that you weren’t constantly in the same proximity. It was a stupid concept, you already knew. But this will be the longest that you’ve been apart from each other in the little over a year that you’ve been dating, and you can’t help the inkling of anxiety that comes with this experience.

Slipping your phone back into your pocket, you turn to fully face yourself in the grimy bathroom mirror. Is it bad that you’d been hoping for more from him? Maybe a picture or another question? A response longer than three words? The flow of conversation had gradually lost its familiar ease, replaced with this subconscious feeling of uncertainty that left conversations feeling stale. In reality, he’s probably working late or getting ready to go to sleep. You vaguely remember him mentioning a project he had been assigned to work on, and it seems as though his workload as grown progressively tasking as the semester comes to a close. The last time you had seen him over a video call, he had dark circles under his eyes despite how animatedly he spoke about the work he was doing. You also remember begging him to get a good a goodnight’s sleep when he found the chance.

Yeah. That’s probably what it is.

Should you text him back?

Your fingers slip behind the edge of the phone, fully ready to whip it out again when a couple comes stumbling into the restroom, the door swinging back to hit the tile wall with a bang! The girl, at least, has the decency to look sheepish and makes to apologize until her partner sidetracks her with kisses down her neck. You don’t bother with anything more than an embarrassed grimace through pressed lips before glancing the other way, though mostly more for yourself more than them. Squeezing passed the enamored pair through the door, you make your way back into the thick of the club, albeit a little more reluctant than you were when you had first arrived.

Your friends are might be off the dance floor by now. Returned to the bar, maybe. In all honesty, you had expected your presence in the “girl’s night” outing to be a bit of a vibe killer anyways, with how forlorn you had become in the past week. You had spent the whole car ride to the club switching anxiously between Instagram and snapchat trying to see if Jungkook had liked your last post – you, dressed up to go out for the first time in a while, definitely not fishing for a compliment from him – barely contributing to any conversation. If your friends were aware of your growing preoccupation, they hadn’t said anything yet.  It wasn’t that you couldn’t live without him, in fact, you’re a little more than perturbed by your own attitude tonight. It was that there was this lingering feeling that something was always missing. Like the fact that Jungkook wasn’t readily accessible or just within a short drive’s reach tugged at your heartstrings. Comfort. A grown familiarity. Something to fall back.

The moment someone jams their heel into your ankle you realize you’ve been standing catatonically near the middle of the dance floor, shaken from your reverie of self-pity as you nearly lose your balance. Disoriented, your vision blurs for a moment in an effort to right yourself. Glancing around, you can’t catch a glimpse of your friends. Your heartbeat thumps just about as loud as the music’s bass. Your right foot throbs in your heels. Feeling your face growing hot, you press a hand to your cheek, only for it to come away wet. I think it’s time to call it a night.

Overwhelmed, you make for the exit, and are fortunate enough to bump into one of the girls who came with you on tonight’s excursion. With a hand securely on your wrist, she leads the way back to your group, shimmying your way through the crowd. 

It’s well around 1 a.m. by the time your friends drop you off at your apartment. Albeit simple tasks, the process of taking off your heels, hanging up your coat and undressing takes what feels like an eternity. In the span of time it took for your friends to finally regroup, leave the club and take you home, you have not once looked at your phone. Cold from inactivity, it feels like metal brick in your hands, and wears on your mind with the weight of a real one as your trudge into your bedroom. In all that time he hasn’t texted once. Granted, it is pretty and it is your turn to reply. But what is there to say besides ‘okay’? You gently toss it on your bed on your slow march into the bathroom, half hoping to hear the gentle buzz of a text notification.

The idea of fully cleaning yourself up sounds like more effort than you’re willing to exert right now, so you settle for a makeup wipe, knowing well enough that your skin will hate make you sure you pay for your laziness in the morning. That’s a problem for tomorrow you to handle, you decide. Changing into an old shirt of Jungkook’s feeling slightly more refreshed, you allow the promise of sleep to lead you back to your bed. Although you’d hate to admit it, the mental gymnastics you go through with your insecurities over what seems Jungkook’s gradual withdrawal from you mentally exhausting. You avoid unlocking your phone until you’re completely submerged in your sheets. Squinting into the light of the screen, your heart sinks at what you see. The only recent text is a goodnight from the friend who dropped you off, announcing to your group chat that she’s made it home safely.

Not wanting to fall asleep feeling disappointed, you spend the better part of an hour swiping between Instagram, twitter, tiktok, and then Instagram again in search of a smidgen of serotonin despite the late hour. Most clips get nothing more than an exhale through the nose, the disappointment from tonight still lingering at the edges of your mind. You glance at the time, calculating the time difference between here and Manhattan. There was a three-hour gap; he should be well asleep by now.

Against your better judgement, you open your messages and hit the call button anyways, thinking that at least if he doesn’t pick up you can dismiss it with practical reasoning. However, much to your surprise he picks up after the second ring. Laying on his side, nearly mirroring your position, Jungkook’s form greets you cocooned under a myriad of blankets. His hair sticks up every which way in the front as though he’s run his hands through it too many times. The low light his screen emits casts shadows under his eyes and gives his skin a pale complexion. Immediately you regret your impulsive decision.

You both open your mouths to speak.

“Sorry!”

The word is blurted from your lips before he can even begin to form a sentence. Your boyfriend blinks at you. “Hm?” is his only response, voice groggy with sleep.

“I’m so sorry, were you asleep? Did I wake you? Shit,” the despondency you were feeling before only grows tenfold now that you’ve actually interrupted his rest. A string of apologies follows as you fumble with your phone to hit ‘end call’. It’s only Jungkook’s sharp call of your name that halts your hysteria. “Wait! I was waiting for your call.”

You pull the phone a little way away from your face. “You were?”

Jungkook is silent for a moment, processing your incredulity. “I was.”

“Oh.”

“I fell asleep but I was waiting for you to text me when you got back home. Like you usually do.”

“Oh.” It was common for you and Jungkook to share whenever the other went out and or was coming home late. In your own distress, you had forgotten to let him know when you arrived home. The thought provokes the image of Jungkook, curled up in his cramped rental in New York, drifting off with his phone in his hand as he waits to feel his phone vibrate. It nearly breaks your heart. “I-I must’ve forgot. I’m sorry, I figured you’d probably be busy or asleep by the time I’d come home. We haven’t exactly talked much today.”

“But you called anyways?”

“Wishful thinking?” you shrug with your one free shoulder. “Didn’t think you would pick up.”

“Hmm.”

You and Jungkook share a guilty look. What’s this odd feeling that’s creeped into your heart? Insecurity knots a tight feeling in your chest.

“I missed you today.”

And just like that, it’s gone.  The million questions dissipate like a fog clearing from your mind as you inwardly scold yourself for your own irrational thinking

“Yeah?”

You often wondered if he thought about you as much as you thought of him. Outwardly, he was seen as the bigger sap between the two of you, but often you found your own thinking to become the floweriest of prose when it came to him. You found memories of him in even the smallest things, like the taste of spicy foods, in the smell of lavender or in the sound of someone opening a bottle of sprite. You found him at the edges of comic book pages and in the first notes of an acoustic song. You wonder if he could find bits of you about the city. If he ever thought of you, waiting on him hours away, outside of the times when it was deemed obligatory.

“Do you not miss me every day?” You wiggle your eyebrows to insinuate a playful dig, but the both of you are well aware of the tinge of honest curiosity underneath.

Jungkook offers a tired smile, but in that moment, the genuine adoration in his eyes is all the affirmation you need. “Every day, all the time.”

#bts fic #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #fluff #drabble #bts au #jungkook x reader fluff #bts fanfic #so hot

[millennialincantations]

Hexing the Moon is Not a Thing

I have been hesitant to weigh in on the on the controversy surrounding the rumors that witches are out there hexing the Fae and the moon, but as this story is making its way into national news media, I feel that silence is no longer appropriate. I am aware that people reading this are likely to disagree with me, or perhaps even become offended by my take on the situation, but I am willing to take that risk in an attempt to be a voice of reason.

The gist of this story is that allegedly groups of neophyte witches are organizing on the social media platform TikTok and attempting to cast harmful spells on the Fae and the moon, the actual moon orbiting the Earth, and allegedly the sun is next. I was very deliberate in calling this a rumor in my opening statement. After a lot of research, I have been unable to find a lot of evidence that this is really going on. I've managed to find two TikTok users claiming to be hexing the moon, both with only around 1000 followers, and both of them have posted videos that are very clearly jokes and/or trolling. And I'll be honest, they were kind of funny.

I'm open to any contradicting evidence anyone is willing to provide me, but at this point I believe that this alleged group of witches hexing the Fae and the moon is nothing more than a rumor, a prank, or an internet troll scheme that has been blown completely out of proportion. I have seen so many angry reactions to the idea that this may be happening and simply not enough proof to believe it is actually happening. Did the rumor originate from an actual event? Probably. Is there a kernel of truth here? Maybe. Is there a widespread conspiracy of witches hexing mythological creatures and celestial bodies? Doubt it.

The story seemed to explode when a Twitter user claimed that these hexes were occurring and their tweet went viral. I've read the entire tweet, and while it was heavily laden with definitions and dire consequences, what it lacked was a shred of evidence, a single source, or any clue as to where someone might look to see proof of these hexes and this community of young maleficars. However in spite of this, it created a wave of anger and panic that has spread across all social media platforms and inspired many witches to create some very emotional responses.

Here is why I have a problem with all of this. Reactionary emotional responses, especially ones of anger, based on baseless rumors, have a tendency to make us all look foolish. And I sincerely feel that the global witch community is being made to look foolish right now. I will now thoroughly explain why.

I am going to begin with the obvious ageist and anti-novice dialogue this has inspired. I have purposefully avoided using the term “baby witch” until now, because I find it pretty offensive. I probably don't need to tell you that every story about this starts with a headline similar to “baby witches hex the moon.” “Baby witches” are the ones to blame, and “baby witches” are being vilified right now. In general, putting the word “baby” in front of another title serves to be diminutive, to express that while you and this person may share an identity, you are clearly superior to them. Using titles this way is infantilizing and demeaning. It suggests that while this person may be an adult, they are helpless, irrational, naive, stupid, and so on. There is nothing wrong with being a younger witch or a person who is new to the spiritual path of witchcraft. There is absolutely something wrong with taking a rumor as an excuse to release prejudicial venom against young and/or inexperienced people all across the internet.

Few of us were lucky enough to be born into witchcraft families. Many of us found witchcraft as a spiritual solace after escaping religious systems that oppressed us. Engaging in any kind of dialogue that makes witchcraft seem hostile to the young or new people who need it is simply not good form, and in my opinion, unethical. And let me remind any witches reading this that you most likely did or thought some pretty stupid things when you were new to witchcraft. I know I did.

Calling the subjects of this rumor “TikTok witches” serves nearly the same purpose as calling them “baby witches.” It's well known that as a newer and more complicated platform, TikTok is most popular with younger and more tech savvy users. Referring to someone as a “TikTok witch” not only makes an assumption about their age and level of experience, but also serves to denigrate their practice into an aesthetic rather than an identity. I am very active in the Facebook witch community, but I would never describe myself as a “Facebook witch,” because the sum of my spiritual path is much more than what I post and comment. My life as a witch is so much more than anything I do on the internet, and the same is true for most people, period.

Now I'd like to move on the statements I keep seeing regarding the supposed victims of the alleged hex. The Fae are not a large part of my practice, so I will not speak on them as much. My sister used to claim as a teenager that faeries would hide her things and that's why she could never find them. I thought this was just a dumb excuse until one day she dropped her camera memory card on the floor right in front of me, and it just disappeared. We tore her room apart looking for that thing, and I found it days later hidden between the pages of my journal. Let's just say, I've been socially distancing from the Fae ever since.

Hexing the entire Fae is kind of a ridiculous notion because that word has so many different connotations and denotations to so many different people that depending on who you ask you couldn't even really nail down a concrete definition of who and what they are, and some witches don't believe they're real at all. And if I were a Fae, I imagine I'd like it that way. It's a more common belief among witches that casting a spell requires knowledge and focus, and that doesn't really compute with attempting to target an ambiguous crowd of whatever the hell they are who might be, well, somewhere. As Willow Rosenberg (Buffy) would have said, “It's like trying to hit a puppy by throwing a live bee at it.” Anyway, I think the Fae are probably fine.

Now let's talk about the moon. So the moon is real, definitely. I've seen it. And the moon is gonna be fine. I'm less concerned with explaining why the moon will be fine and more concerned with unpacking some of the things I've heard about the moon being in peril. In the case of both the Fae and the moon, I've seen many impassioned pleas for witches to join together and combat this hex by using the magick to bless the Fae and the moon instead. Now, like I've said, I'm not super worried about the Fae, but I'm really really really not worried about the moon. Witches often leave water and objects under moonlight to bless and purify them, but now we're expected to believe that a hex can travel 238,900 miles through that same moonlight and still have the juice to do some damage. Really, its gonna be fine.

What this amounts to is a cry for an online holy war, witches versus witches, duking it out on their altars and cell phones for the fate of the moon. And while that might make for a pretty bitchin D&D campaign, it is an absolutely ludicrous waste of energy given the real world problems we are facing right now. Witches please, if you are feeling compelled to do a spell to help the world right now, hex the secret police in Portland, hex the fascist elements in government, hex the damn coronavirus, bless the protesters, bless election security, BLESS RUTH BADER GINSBURG! But please reconsider spending your effort playing tug of war with a celestial body that is most definitely totally going to be fine.

The three most concerning claims I have seen about how this hex against the moon will affect us are as follows:

1.) “The moon rules emotions, so hexing the moon will have a negative effect on all our emotions.” Yeah, um, that's probably got more to do with the horror survival game that is 2020, which I think we can all agree has not been anyone's year. Placing the state of our emotions under the control of strangers on the internet is a classic case of blame avoidance, in which we feel justified in our reckless actions and emotional outbursts by claiming it is not our fault or out of our control. Contrarily, a common tenet of much of witchcraft is control of the self. Such behavior is very unbecoming of anyone bearing the mantle of the witch.

2.) “Hexing the moon has angered the moon goddess Artemis, and this has angered her brother Apollo—who rules over medicine—and now we will never recover from the coronavirus.” Wow, that's a lot to unpack. First of all, are Artemis and Apollo really that close? Because he totally tricked her into killing her BF Orion that one time. Second, not everyone believes in the same deities, and not everyone believes in gods at all. Telling someone we're all gonna die of COVID-19 because of a god they don't believe in does not make anyone look smart. Third, this argument places the outcome of the pandemic in the hands of religion instead of where it belongs, which is in the hands of science. Witches, please, you can believe in science and faith and magick all at the same time, and it's something we all really need to start doing. Fourth, and most definitely worst, blaming sickness and plague on the spells of witches is something witch hunters did back when it was commonplace to murder people for witchcraft, and now we are actually seeing this claim come from other witches! Gah! I can't even. Please stop.

3.) “This or that moon goddess is mad and is going to retaliate by taking magick away from all witches.” I really just want to drop that GIF of Krysten Ritter rolling her eyes right here. Let's revisit the part where not all witches believe in the same deities and some don't believe in them at all. Now let's remind ourselves that magick comes from within, and while we may draw strength from outside sources, we don't need anything other than ourselves to perform witchcraft. I could never possibly believe that an action taken by another person I've never met could make me less of a witch. That smacks of fundamental insecurity in one's beliefs.

At this point, this story has been picked up by several major media companies, including Buzzfeed, NPR, Cosmopolitan, Rolling Stone, and several others. While I do think it's important for stories about real life witches to be covered in the media, I am not proud of this moment of exposure. Every story I read seems to go back to the original Twitter thread as their primary source, which as I've explained, is not sufficient evidence. This story has become more about the global visceral reactions witches are having online, and while those feelings and interactions are certainly real, it disturbs me that the witch community is making huge news by essentially throwing tantrums based on what is probably a lie.

Witches are not featured in major media very often, and when we are it is typically characterized by gross misinformation. I fear that we are currently fueling a fire that will only serve to make witches look ridiculous to a large number of people outside our community. And while I think we all have a healthy touch of “I don't care what you think about me,” it would be irresponsible to say that this will not have actual consequences for real people. As witchcraft is a practice and not necessarily a religion, it has little in the way anti-discrimination protections for anyone anywhere, and witches are still very much minorities. People who are brave enough to live openly as witches may face discrimination in employment, housing, service, and various other things if this story sways public opinion in a negative way, which would be a real shame considering the story is basically a sham.

This story has unique potential to damage the way witches are perceived in society because, while the story is fueled by backlash from witches are most certainly not hexing the moon, the witches doing the hexing are the headline. In this era, it is more common for people to assume a story from a headline rather than read an entire article, and so I fear the general impression people are getting is that witches are unfathomable children who really want the moon to fall out of the sky. And for those who actually read the articles, their first impression of witches very well may be the frustrated rantings of those of us who are not at our best right now.

In addition, this story subverts the historical meaning of the practice of hexing into a petty malicious act done out of boredom. The actual history of hexing stems from one common theme: the powerless trying to find a way to fight back against the powerful. This is why so many hexes have to do with women seeking revenge on abusive men. This is why witches have recently been discussed in the media for doing mass binding spells on President Trump and a mass hex on Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh—which, controversial as they may be, these are stories I am actually proud of. So witches reading this, if you really wanna put a hex on something, let's target someone who really deserves it.

And if you think I'm referring to Betsy DeVos, well, I can't stop you from coming to that conclusion.

I do have one final remark, which is somewhat unrelated, but still important. If you are a witch who has found yourself deeply offended by the notion of hexing the moon (which you have every right to feel), I would invite you to please consider the feelings of indigenous people who have long been offended by the misappropriations of their culture, by their sacred acts being used and portrayed in ways they do not like or approve of. I think many of them have often felt the same way that you do now, except in their case, there's a lot more evidence the transgression actually occurred.

[btsybrkr]

What A Time To Be At Home!: The Best And Worst Coronacontent The Internet Has To Offer

Remember that joke that’s been around for ages, but was being told literally everywhere back in 2019? The one that went something like, “I hate it when people ask me where I’ll be in a year’s time - I don’t have 2020 vision!”?

Well, I bloody wish someone did.

In fact, in early January, I wrote out my own predictions for the decade ahead right here on my blog. They were obviously entirely hypothetical and - I thought - ridiculous. They were just a series of daft ideas that I thought I could take the piss out of, in the hope that people might read it and take a second out of their day to do an amused little nose exhale for me. But now, even the post-apocalyptic TV show ideas I pitched in that piece seem less ‘far-off dystopian chaos’, and more like they could be pleasant additions to the BBC Summer schedule.

The world is in the throes of a global pandemic, the likes of which haven’t been seen since… I don’t know, The Black Plague, maybe? As a result of that, the instructions have been clear: stay home, save lives. 

At first, the thought of being given a period of Government-sanctioned laziness seemed like a dream to many. We could write our autobiographies! Learn Klingon! Build ourselves a whole new house! But six weeks in, it appears to have started messing with the collective consciousness of the human race. Brains are fried, your Weekly Screen Time is up 103%, stomachs are full to the brim with banana bread and dalgona coffee, and certain celebrities’ egos are in a fight to the death with their common sense. In a time when we’re all supposedly doing nothing, there’s still so much going on. 

With that in mind, I thought we could recognise some of the things we’ve seen online that have kept us talking in lockdown, not just because of Coronavirus, but in spite of it. 

Welcome to the first (but hopefully not annual) What A Time To Be At Home! awards. The WATTBAH!’s, if you like.

The ‘Why On Earth Did You Think This Was A Good Idea?’ Award

Over the last few weeks, we’ve seen a sizable handful of blunders by the rich and famous that have, at worst, knocked them down a fair few places in our estimations and, at best, have left us scratching our heads, wondering what response they were expecting in the first place. 

With that in mind, it’s only right that this title goes to the original celebrity lockdown mistake: Gal Gadot’s ill-advised acapella cover of Imagine, featuring a variety of different Hollywood stars - not one of whom had the foresight to ask “are you sure this doesn’t make us look like complete arseholes?”, which, unfortunately, it absolutely does. 

Between the bizarre and insincere ‘I have a dream’-style speech at the beginning, the boldness of some of those featured to be quite clearly just taking the piss, and the fact everyone appears to be singing ever-so-slightly below the note without ever actually hitting it for the entirety of the song, this was tone-deaf in more ways than one. It’s even worse when you realise that this was posted less than one week into the lockdown, but then what would I know? Maybe madness sets in faster in multi-million dollar mansions. Probably because it echoes louder and bounces off the walls of your massive living room.

The ‘I Had To Suffer Through This, So You Do, Too’ Award

This award recognises content we’ve been witness to over the last few weeks that was so awful, so completely uncomfortable to watch, that after you’d gotten over the initial disbelief at what you’d just seen, you immediately had to send it to somebody you know, so that you can suffer through it together.

Despite how many celebrity lockdown moments have left me with my head in my hands over the last few weeks, this award could only go to a very recent contender - one which isn’t simply an embarrassing piece of celebrity lockdown content, but will likely haunt the inner corners of my brain long after this virus is simply a topic taught about in GCSE History lessons of the future. 

I am, of course, talking about Olly Murs. I’m talking about Pringlegate. I’m talking about Olly Murs removing the bottom of a can of Sour Cream and Onion Pringles to trick his own girlfriend into touching his penis. On video, on TikTok.

Twitter: @buckyw1ng

There’s something inherently quite chilling about Pringlegate. It might be something to do with the 10,000 watt grin on Olly’s face as we watch him carefully maneuver a tin opener around the bottom of the can, or perhaps it’s just the question of how long he’d been sat there holding it around his naked penis as he and his girlfriend watched a film, patiently waiting for the moment to strike. Perhaps it’s the way the video freezes as she reaches over for a Pringle, allowing time for Olly Murs’ to add in an audio clip of himself, shouting “SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND”. 

Maybe it’s the uncontrollable show of amusement he launches into as she snatches her hand back in shock, laughing away, heartily, as if to say “Ha! You thought it was a normal can of Pringles, but it was actually my PENIS covered in Pringles crumbs! You just got PUNKED!”, like it was all simply a clever ruse. 

Above all else, I think the most uncomfortable thing about it is that I can’t help but feel like all bets are off in 2020, and that this is a fairly tame warm-up for things to come.

So, Olly Murs, you are inarguably the rightful winner of the ‘I Had To Suffer Through This, So You Do, Too’ award. Congratulations! Don’t do it again, yeah?

The ‘Are You Actually Aware Of These Words Coming Out Of Your Mouth?’ Award

I’ve said some stupid things since this lockdown started. Personally, I put it down to the lack of social interaction, which I think might be frying my brain a little bit, or at least that’s what the ornament of a turkey that sits on my kitchen windowsill told me the other day. However, I don’t think I or anybody I know has said anything even one fraction-of-an-iota as void of intelligent thought as Vanessa Hudgens’ terrible opinions on social distancing, shared in a now-infamous Instagram live last month. 

“It’s a virus,” she clarified, helpfully, before going on to explain, “I get it. I respect it.” 

I’m sure your respect means the world to it, Vanessa, but do you ‘get’ it?

“But even if everybody gets it, like… yeah… people are gonna die,” she explains, in a tone so chirpy that the word ‘die’ might as well be replaced by the phrase ‘have such a bloody lovely old time’, “which is terrible, but, like… inevitable?” 

In all fairness, death is inevitable, but I don’t know if suggesting speeding up that process for thousands of people because you were disappointed that Coachella was cancelled is an equally logical take.

After a brief - and probably quite profound - moment of self-reflection, she laughs “I don’t know, maybe I shouldn’t be doing this right now”. Oh, you think? Which bit? Just holding these insane ideas, or actually broadcasting them to your 39.1 million Instagram followers? 

She did post a video the day after, clarifying that - despite what she said - she is staying at home, and is urging others to do the same. I guess she does respect the virus after all. Now, if everyone could hurry up, catch it and die from it, so that she can go to Coachella 2021, Vanessa Hudgens might respect you, too. 

I guess We’re All In This Together, after all.

The Show Of Support Award

I’ve already talked a lot about the rich and famous here, so maybe it’s time to take a break from that madness - although, I get it, I respect it - and have a look at how the rest of our lives look at the moment.

One weekly occurrence that seems to be set to stick around is the weekly round of applause for the NHS. Whilst it’s nothing short of blood-boilingly annoying seeing Boris Johnson absent-mindedly clapping in celebration of a service that he recently admitted he hadn’t even noticed the strain on until he, himself, nearly died of the virus, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with the rest of us getting involved. If anything, it’s heart-warming to see the videos of NHS staff being applauded by neighbours as they leave for work, and to hear the cheers echoing through the streets at 8pm every Thursday. There’s a lot of people being quite cynical about it. We obviously know it’s not going to stop Coronavirus in its tracks, but sometimes it’s just nice to be nice, alright?

One thing I’ve noticed recently is how many people have adopted different noise-making strategies, possibly in an effort to effectively boost their support by a factor of 300%. Banging pots and pans together appears to be the most popular, but the winner of this award saw your pots and pans and said “how sweet”, before showing us how it’s really done.

I present to you, a genius. The ultimate hype-man.

Twitter: “a deeply disturbed national psyche” - @willuminare

There’s something so chaotic and angry about the energy in this video, just one man, a cricket bat, and a wheelie bin, banging away to show his gratitude. Just living in the moment. I wish the neighbour who’d captured it on camera had caught more of it, or at least just enough to edit the footage with Electric Youth’s soaring synth anthem  ‘A Real Hero’ from the soundtrack of the movie Drive against it.

I’ve been trying to learn to play the keytar in lockdown, to near enough no avail. Maybe at 8pm next Thursday, I’ll just take it outside and smash it against the pavement. You know, for the NHS.

Honourable Mentions: The Very Best In Coronacontent

It’s not all been so questionable - there’s been a lot of uplifting, funny, positive and thoughtful things shared online over the past few weeks. John Krasinski’s YouTube series Some Good News has provided a much-appreciated contrast from the bleakness of traditional current affairs programmes. There’s five weeks worth of episodes on his YouTube channel at the moment, so I would definitely recommend checking it out, especially if you feel like you need a lift! 

Over on Twitter, there’s been a lot to laugh about, as ‘front camera comedians’ are well and truly in their element (my personal favourite recently has been Alistair Green), as well as plenty of other users who are utilising their free time to create some brilliant stuff - this six-part opera based on a 2007 Facebook argument by Archie Henderson is genuinely one of the funniest things I’ve seen in weeks.

Twitter: “I made a six-act opera out of a conversation between some 14 year olds on my Facebook from 2007″ - @jazzemu_

All in all, these are obviously bizarre times that we’re living in. We don’t know how many more weeks of lockdown we’re going to have, when we’ll get back to normal, or even if ‘normal’ will mean something completely different from now on. 

What we do know is that the internet, and everyone on it - whoever they are or whatever they’re saying - will continue to surprise us, inform us, entertain us, provide a place for our quizzes and conversations, and keep us together in some sense, when we have no choice but to be apart. 

Thanks to anyone who’s read this far. I hope that you and your friends and families are keeping well, and that you took even a slight shred of lockdown enjoyment from even one thing I’ve said over the past couple thousand words! 

Finally, before I go, I thought we might share a little song. It goes like this:

Imagine there’s no heaven....

if you like, can follow me on twitter here or instagram here :-)

[informatgenix]

Media and Information Literacy (13)

My favorite type of media is one of the most currently used in today’s society: social media. Social media comes in a variety of platforms. We have Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and now, Tiktok. I think I can speak for most of us when I say that social media has definitely played a huge part in our lives, especially with the advancement of technology in recent years. Personally, I spend hours daily on social media to connect with my friends, especially in this time of pandemic where most of us are forced to stay at home. Social media is a great source of entertainment and distraction from all the negative things currently happening in the world. I think I started using social media when I was in Grade 6. Because everybody else seems to have Facebook accounts during that time, I had my first Facebook account at around the same time as well.

There are many types of media. Some of which are, like what was mentioned in class, including printed forms such as books or newspapers; television and radio are other forms of media as well. In this day and age and in my personal opinion, I would have to say that social media remains to be the current most powerful type of media we have today. With modern-day technology, everything is at our fingertips. Information comes to us within a matter of seconds. And just as how information can come to us, information can also be distributed  as quickly. It is so powerful precisely because it can reach millions of people all over the world in so little time.

Media, be it any form or variation of it, will always have its advantages and disadvantages. I would allude to it as a double-edged sword. At the end of the day, it is not the medium that is particularly dangerous but how people make use of it. It is merely a tool. And that is precisely why it is up to us users to use social media and its platform responsibly.

When we log onto our social media accounts and see a cute puppy playing with a hamster and are delighted, that is an impact. When we see the rising cases of COVID-19 in the country and suddenly feel anxious and uneasy, that is an impact. The media we see and the media we consume irrefutably impact us one way or another. The emotions we feel when we read, see, or watch something unfold are already an impact of the media. In the past, print media such as books, newspapers, or magazines were used in spreading propaganda. In some countries, it is still happening today, though most of it is being done through other much more convenient forms of media such as television, radio, and most popular recently, on social media. 

There are plenty of media available today. In our country alone, we see almost all of it. We have television, the internet (social media), radio, newspapers, news websites, magazines, and many more. Based on what I’ve seen, the media we have in our country is not much different from the media in America. I am glad that in our country, there are no “monopoly” companies in the field of media as this could lead to a widespread of biased information or even propaganda (especially if it is government or state controlled). In the U.S., they have Fox News, CNN, and many more for cable TV news. In the Philippines, we have the ABS-CBN Corporation, GMA, and TV5 among others. Although both countries utilize the same types of media, the U.S. will sometimes have more advantage towards these platforms, especially social media platforms, since they are its developers and are the first to experience and try out new site/app features or promotions.

Regardless of being in the USA or in the Philippines, a mere click of a screen today has endless possibilities. You could be doing good: let’s say you’re sharing a post about mental health awareness, or you can be doing something bad, for example, sharing fake news. With the vast valley of information made available to us, the more so that I think it is very important to educate ourselves on how to fact-check the things we see online. We must be able to discern whether something is true or false so that we may be able to prevent misinformation and contribute to an old long-existing problem in media, even centuries ago.

By the end of this class, I am expecting that I will be able to learn more about media and the information it holds and how they are utilized both from the past and the present. As I have previously mentioned, I would also like to learn more about how to properly fact-check things so I would be able to discern the truth from lies, so that I may be able to disengage from participating in the spreading of misinformation and fake news in a time where it is still very rampant. I don’t have a question or information regarding media that I would like to be discussed in class.

[absentgoji]

looks like i missed DID awareness day? i had no idea it was on 05/03.

here are some questions you peeps are answering and i think it would be a good exercise to do so too, right now. then do it again maybe in a couple months.

i know you're asking each other by ask, but i dont have any followers so i will just answer them all by myself.

DID Awareness Day Questions:

What is one thing you wish everyone understood about DID? no, it is not like split , nor any other representation in media. no, its not noticeable (or, at least, not easily noticeable). people with DID are not multiple persons inside a body. people with DID are not 'survivors', 'fragmented heroes', or whatever romantic nickname you wanna call them. we are people who have to deal with a mental illness because of past trauma we wish we hadn't been through. people with DID are not doing this for attention: believe me, id rather have to deal with any other thing than not knowing myself, not being reliable. not everyone shares the same experience, each person deals with their disorder in a different way. however, DID has very specific symptoms we all do share, even if we describe it in a different way.

Are you in therapy? What is your experience with therapy like? yes. im in therapy, but i dont really find it helpful for this specific disorder in my case. i may see a different therapist soon because mine, even though they did diagnose me, has been treating the disorder tangentially. anxiety, adhd and depression were their main concerns. it took them some months to get to it, putting the pieces together (memory loss, derealization, depersonalization, distorted feeling of self, me talking about myself as if i was talking about a different person), and when they finally did, we worked directly on it just for a few months, then moved on to other things and we only get back to it occasionally.

Do you have an inner world? If you do, what is it like? i know i do have one. at this point i dont know if i made it up or if it was there from the beginning. i dont really 'go there' anymore. its nothing very logical, but more like different locations my different shades like to be at. when i talk to myself in a more active way i can usually find me (them) there. but its been a while since i last did that. i will address this in a different post.

What is communication like between you and the others? Do you have any particular systems set up to help with communication? writing. if i feel like i have something to talk about, i will write about it and probably answer to myself when i feel i have a different opinion. sometimes i will tell my friends about something and they remind me about that opinion later on. its not their work and i dont do it on purpose, but i know thats one of the ways i have of knowing what my other shades feel like. communication used to be better, but at some point i decided i did not want to have that approach to this anymore and i just stopped trying to communicate directly.

Has any conventional advice for DID ever not worked for you (journaling is unhelpful, can’t visualize an inner world, etc)? trying to make a scheme about how this works has been quite a mess, at least for me. i learnt (through tumblr, mostly) many things i had to unlearn. i learnt there were categories (protectors, etc.), and my shades didnt really fit the labels. i learnt that the same triggers make the same shades come out, but, for me, it might not happen that way. noticing stuff didnt work the way 'it was supposed to work' was harmful and i would stress so much about it. if this was supposed to be logical, it wouldnt be a disorder in the first place.

What does “safety” mean for you? feeling free to talk about me in any way i want to, not being afraid of making people feel uncomfortable or cringe, having them accept me as i am. i dont want anybody to pity me, handle me with special care nor anything. i am a normal person and i want to be treated as such.

Do you have any introjects? How do you feel about their source? How do they feel about their source? no.

Do you have any non-human alters? no

Is there anything that makes you feel like your experience with DID is “different” than what you see other people with DID talk about? all of the above, i think. also memory loss, maybe. the most common approach to it i usually get to read about is full blackout, 'alters' not knowing what others did, etc. in my case, while that can and has happened, is not the most common scenario. i dont remember if it used to be different in the past. ive been in therapy for like three years now and my memory has definitely gotten better. now i can describe three types of memory: - things i do remember. - things i dont remember, but i know. - things i dont remember, and i dont know.

Who is the most likely to get into a fight (physical or verbal?) Who’s the most likely to try to patch things up afterward? i would say my most problematic shade is purplish (i havent decided if i want to go back to using names again) and the one thats there to fix things right after is red.

Does anyone wish they could make big changes to your body’s appearance? yes. in most of my shades i identify as a woman or a nonbinary person with a feminine leaning presentation, but there are a couple of them that makes me really want to start transitioning. its pretty uncomfortable.

Choose some parts/alters and describe each in 5 words or less. i will answer to this question once i decide how i want to describe myself.

What does dissociation feel like for you? stuff happens and my brain just cant grab any thought. its hard for me to talk. im thinking about many things and none at the same time (crossed conversations). nothing is real. if im in a room, theres nothing outside the room and the walls, floor and furniture are fake. sometimes i am fake. people are not real and i can be careless about the way i talk to them because i dont believe it will have any consecuences (its a dream, right?). if dissociation is strong enough, my senses dont work well. i cant hear well, food doesnt taste like anything... (this is just my brain not being able to process whats happening, i believe).

How often do you think you switch? as of today, i have no idea. i dont usually notice the exact time i do, but some time later, when i catch myself thinking in a different way or doing someting 'out of character'.

Do any of you experience body dysphoria or dysmorphia? see number 11!

How many parts/alters do you think you have at this time? this is something i also stopped doing. it makes no sense, in my case, to try and keep count of them.

If you have younger parts/alters, what makes them happy or excited? i dont have any part that's significantly older or younger than the 'core?' one.

Do you consider yourselves to be covert or overt about having DID? covert. im really self conscious about it.

Do you experience denial often? How do you react when you experience it? all the time. i try to tell myself i have nobody to lie to, and that theres no point in pretending when theres no one around... so why would i fake it?

What grounding methods or skills work best for you? Do different skills work better for different parts/alters? relaxing, talking to someone, receiving some comfort and ignoring the fact that im dissociating are the things that work best for me. i usually check tiktok or twitter, listen to some music or talk to my partner til i feel better. if i dont, taking a shower also helps.

What does “recovery” mean for you? i dont know yet. i think 'being a single shade' is not possible for me, because i know that DID is not a disorder that can be healed, so i just hope i can learn how to live healthily this way.

#did #osdd #did awareness #some qs #idk #dissociative identity disorder

[cboeck-webdesign]

Social media channels in comparison - Which one suits you and your business?

In thise Articel you will find out which social network suits your business. I'll help you choose the right channels for your marketing strategy. Whether you have a small local business, an online shop or a personal brand, you will find valuable information to make informed decisions. Let's take a look at the different social media platforms together and find out which ones suit you and your business best.

What social networks actually exist

There are numerous social media networks on the internet, even those that are used as rarely as Tumblr and Vero, which then cease their service or lead a niche existence. The question arises which social network is used the most and certainly most people think of Facebook. If you want to know what makes each social media channel different and which one suits you and your business, read on and find out by getting an overview of the social media networks here. A small test awaits you at the end.  

Social media channels in comparison - what distinguishes the individual networks

    What makes Instagram tick Instagram is one of the most successful platforms for sharing photos and stories. Since its takeover by Facebook, it has been steadily climbing up the mountain, especially after Instagram copied its competitor Snapchat and emerged as the winner. The advantage of Instagram is that you can present your own brand and be found more quickly through hashtags. But at this point a word of warning. I have already spoken to an expert about what makes Instagram so special. It's about building a community and generating real followers. And that doesn't happen overnight, but is associated with painstaking care and work. It's no use uploading great sayings or designer photos and bragging about follower numbers. Instead, you should comment yourself and do so regularly. Because when you like the posts of others, others become aware of your profile, ideally follow you and comment on your pictures. And that's exactly what Instagram is all about. The network started in 2010 with 1 million users and today has well over 700,000 million users. Who is surprised then, since Facebook saw its chance and grabbed it. Another important criterion is to deliver high-quality content. Pictures that are stunning, top motivational sayings or stories that convey a message. Tell your story, present your ideas, photos or videos. On Instagram, you can also market creatively. Also very important is a meaningful profile, as well as regular posting. Finally, it should be mentioned that Instagram has a younger target group between 21 and 28. The best time to post varies greatly, of course, but in Germany, Tuesday and Thursday are very good to post.  

What is Tik Tok and who is it suitable for? The social media network TikTok is relatively new. TikTok is a mixture of Snapchat and Instagram. It is about creating video clips. These video clips are no longer than 15 seconds and are accompanied by music and visual effects. There are also numerous videos and karaoke filters. And the option to show the videos only to a closed group. As a rule, these videos are available to everyone. More than 800 million people worldwide now use the app, and the number is growing every day. But who should use TikTok? Is it worth following the hype right now? If your target group is relatively young and belongs to the target group Z, then you should definitely take a closer look at TikTok. And I took a closer look at TikTok even though it's not my target group. I have to say that the app definitely has potential. But TikTok is only just emerging in Germany and many still rely on Instagram. The app is definitely fun and I think you can also create cool video clips here in 15 seconds. I will definitely keep an eye on the development of TikTok.  

What makes Pinterest tick The most important element of Pinterest are of course the pinboards and group boards. It is only through these that you achieve attention. Followers only play a subordinate role on Pinterest. It is much more important whether these pins are shared or saved or ideally even tried out. This is especially possible with DIY and cooking. You see the interactions that happen here and receive regular emails about how well your content is received on Pinterest. But Pinterest also means a lot of work, because you have to post articles and preferably several times a week. Compared to Instagram, where comments do most of the work, on Pinterest it's the content that counts. The target group on Pinterest consists mainly of women, which is also obvious from the topics. Cooking recipes and craft ideas are pinned here, but so are blog posts and WordPress tips. In addition to a meaningful profile, a good pinboard structure is also enormously important on Pinterest. The pinboards should of course be relevant to the topic, in my case I have pinboards on the topics of online marketing, WordPress and self-employment. Another important aspect is to label pins and define keywords, so-called keywords. This is where RichPins come in, which allow for a better description. In conclusion, it is important to pin regularly, but also not to overdo it.  

What Tumblr is all about I only use Tumblr from time to time. Tumblr seems to be even less well-known in German-speaking countries. The reach with it is also relatively small. In Germany, Tumblr is especially popular with younger users. In addition to photos and videos, audios, texts and quotes can also be shared here. However, the newsfeed here is relatively long and thus quickly becomes confusing. If you don't interact with other users, there will also be little response. Tumblr is about posting content regularly and actively.  

What makes Twitter tick Twitter is known for its 280 characters, which should be meaningful. Here, too, it's about being authentic and getting involved. Being actively involved without attracting negative attention means, above all, not putting yourself in the spotlight so much. What do you use Twitter for? Do you want to promote your brand or express your passion for something? Keep in mind that you can communicate personally and in real time and you only have 280 characters to get your message across. To stand out from the crowd, it can also be worthwhile to use images. In addition to Facebook, it is also possible to advertise on Twitter via Twitter Cards. With the tool Tweet Pi you can manage your contacts and create new ones, it is a key element to become more successful on Twitter. Likewise Buffer with which you can plan and manage your social media content in advance. Alternatively, you can use the tool HootSuite.   What makes Facebook tick Facebook is the network with the most users, but in the meantime one can definitely speak of an advertising platform. Facebook is therefore also known for its Facebook ads and groups. There are groups on almost every topic. Due to its enormous reach, Facebook offers the possibility to get in touch with one's own fans and to address the right target group. The purchase rate on Facebook is also extraordinarily high, which is probably also due to the fact that we are used to advertising on Facebook every day. But of course it's also because more than 2 billion people use the network. If you want to promote your internal business, you can't get around Facebook. It also offers bloggers the chance to actively participate in groups, exchange ideas and share new posts. For your own online business and affliaite marketing, Facebook should be the first port of call.   Among teenagers between 14 and 19, Facebook is only in 4th place - Snapchat and Instagram are the hype    

What makes YouTube special YouTube is the biggest video platform there is. It is used to watch videos and films, to watch commercials and to get inspired. YouTube has become versatile. In the past, it was mainly music videos that were uploaded. The alternative to YouTube is called Vimeo, where the target group can be defined individually. Especially those who want to protect videos should take a closer look at Vimeo. Nevertheless, YouTube is ideal as a traffic source in addition to Google. With your own videos, you can build up expert status and generate reach. YouTube is free and financed by advertising, so it should be used as a social media channel especially if the topic can be presented well, in other words if it is step-by-step instructions, YouTube is best suited.  

The business networks Xing and LinkedIn

If you are a real expert, you should also show it on Xing and LinkedIn. Here you can display your digital business card and get in touch with other marketers or entrepreneurs. Make business contacts and exchange ideas or show your expertise. This network is used more often by companies and students than by SMEs and the self-employed. Because there are really professionals on the go here. At Xing in German-speaking countries and at LinkedIn worldwide. Especially for online marketers, it is advantageous to create a digital business card on Xing, i.e. a profile that is convincing. The profile should be completely filled out and a high-quality photo by a photographer should be used. You present yourself and your brand here and want to give the impression of seriousness.

Snapchat remains the third most popular app among Generation Z, alongside Instagram and TikTok     Snapchat development since 2020   Just over 3 years ago, Snapchat was at the forefront of mobile apps and threatening to become a threat to Facebook. Naturally, Mark Zuckerberg wanted to buy the app and contacted founder Evan Spiegel. He politely and gratefully declined Zuckerberg's offer. Now a competition began that Snapchat has not yet been able to win. On the contrary, it looks as if the app is on the brink of extinction. Evan Spiegel has convinced me and done a lot of things right. He has created a unique selling point for himself with Stories and even when Facebook copied him, he continued to develop his app. New geo-filters were added and Spectalece glasses were designed, all for nothing it seems. Snapchat is losing users. One of the biggest problems from my point of view is a very young target group that mainly posts revealing photos. That was also one of the reasons why this network remained so popular in the beginning. Facebook was out, people wanted to be themselves and Snapchat offered this possibility. Advertising was not really desired, people wanted to post something funny and stay in touch with friends. Snapchat is primarily known for its storytelling. And that's exactly what Facebook and Instagram were still lacking. No problem, it was simply copied and implemented better. A hard blow for Snapchat, because Instgarm has been more successful with the stolen idea for some time. But does Snpacht still have a chance to establish itself as a social network and maybe even become a competitor again? Maybe that could work now, because it is going on the advertising offensive. With the unsuccessful Spectacles glasses, users will now also be able to shop on Amazon, but whether this will lead to a new increase in users remains to be seen. This year, Snapchat was able to register new users again, the app has established itself with a young target audience between 15 and 25. Snapchat is primarily about having fun and exchanging ideas with friends. The next few months will show whether Snapchat can continue to assert itself against the rising TikTok or Instagram.  

The most important platforms for online marketing

  Facebook - Instagram-Linkedin Facebook is most often mentioned and used by online marketers. Even though Facebook is always said to be dead, it is indispensable for your online marketing. Nowhere else can you reach as many people through ads as on Facebook. You can determine your exact target group and make new contacts or actively exchange information via Facebook groups. What makes Facebook so interesting for online marketers are the advertisements. With Facebook, it is possible to determine the target group individually. You can set exactly where your target group comes from, how old they are and what their interests are. The whole thing can even be refined so that your ad is also seen by the target customer. The costs here are lower than with Google Ads. However, you shouldn't be fooled by this, because with FB ads in particular, you burn money quickly. It is important to clarify in advance whether your target group is also represented on another platform. But LinkedIn and Instagram should not be ignored either. Instagram in particular has become a real hype that has caught on. The target group is still young people between 20 and 30. Nevertheless, Instagram is worthwhile if you like to post photos, upload videos, hold livestreams or create stories. Instagram offers you a wide range of possibilities to post creative content. I was active on Instagram for a long time and decided to turn my back on it. Why? Because on the one hand there are many bots and fake profiles and on the other hand you have to play the platform, which is especially time-consuming on Instagram, especially to build up a community that actively interacts with the content. Nevertheless, Instagram is one of the most used social media channels of well-known online marketers. And Linekdin has also caught on in the roof space region. It is primarily aimed at B2B customers. That means if you want to make new contacts, exchange ideas with other marketers or specifically look for support and jobs, LinkedIn is a good choice. I personally like to use it as a serious source of information for news from the online marketing industry.   How many social media channels should you maintain? This is a question that budding self-employed people are likely to ask themselves. There's a profile on Xing, another on Facebook, a channel on YouTube and an account on Twitter. It's easy to get bogged down and overwhelmed by so much social media. That's why online marketing experts recommend managing and using one channel effectively. But at most two. I often find myself playfully trying out what works best. That is also my tip: test out which network suits you best. Devote more time to it and become a brand, post content regularly and address your target group personally. Social media always means establishing contact with the customer. SEO is no longer everything, because everyone wants to be on page 1 of Google and Google is constantly changing its algorithms. That's why it's not worth relying on SEO alone. Maintain a social media channel intensively, find out where you are best received.     Which social network suits you and your goals? There are so many which one suits me and my goals, my business? And here there is only one answer, test, test and know what suits you. If you are a professional for video editing, use Youtube from time to time, if you want to show classy pictures, use Instgram and Tumblr, if you want more traffic besides SEO, then go one step further with Pinterest. If you want personal contact with your customers, use Facebook and its Messenger. In the groups, topics of conversation often arise that then take place in Messenger. If you want to advertise, Facebook is also your first choice. If your goal is to let others know where you stand and keep them up to date, Twitter could be a good option.   Where to find your target group? If your target group is relatively young people between 19-20, Snapchat would be an interesting place to start. However, Instagram offers you even more possibilities. If you want to target a broad ornamental group between 19 and 50, YouTube can be the right choice. The same applies to Facebook, where almost all age groups from 29 - 79 are represented. Twitter is suitable as a direct marketing tool. The target group here is predominantly men between 28 and 40. In summary, it makes sense to create a customer avatar. If you know what your ideal customer is and where you can find your target group, then you can deliver content accordingly.   Conclusion - Which social network suits your business  In summary, there are a variety of social media channels that address different target groups and functions. When choosing the right platform for your business, it is important to define your target group precisely. Each social network offers certain advantages and disadvantages, so it makes sense to make a strategic choice and be active on the platforms that best suit your business. Don't forget to regularly create content and interact with your target group. With a targeted social media strategy, you can successfully build your business and create an active and engaged community.   Read the full article

#onlinebusiness #social media #social media marketing

[clarencenicholsonata]

5 Proven Ways to Master Instagram Reels: What Brands Need to Know

The powerhouse of visual communication, Instagram’s Reels is more than a place for dance challenges and quick how-tos. With its wide reach and griping format, it is one of the best places to generate a buzz around your brand and reel in more customers.

From high fashion brands to individual contributors to the NBA, everyone is on Reels trying to bring in more business, right after Instagram introduced Reels.

As a business, there are some benefits to being on Instagram with Reels. So, what are these, and how can you use this feature to drive engagement with your customers?

Let's find out.

What Are Instagram Reels Exactly?

Instagram Reels are short videos that are usually accompanied by music and last from 15 seconds to 30 seconds. Like its most prominent competitor TikTok, Reels videos are fun, casual, and easy to pass on a message.

Since its Instagram, filters are also a part of Reels; you can use its AR-enabled tools to make exciting videos with special effects. Basically, there are endless creative options when it comes to Reels.

Why Should Businesses Consider Instagram Reels?

As a business owner, Reels gives you a quick fun way to tap into trending content or jump on the latest challenge to create a buzz for your brand. It is less time-consuming than a long-form video, but its short duration makes it less expensive and quicker to produce.

Reels are usually people-focused that make your brand human, handing a possibility to a lot of sharing and engagement, if done the right way. Reels is the perfect place for your brand to let its hair down and connect with the audience.

Take a look at Sephora beauty chain’s Reels strategy that blends the internet’s cat fixation with its product launches. The cat video where the products are props has 1.2 million views! Sephora also features some make-up tutorials as well as discount promotions.

Reels can be an effective way to reach out to your audience and brand your business. The trick here is to attack the explore page by engaging with your audience through a fun and informative video.

Unlike traditional marketing platforms, your videos need to move away from just your product. Instagram Reels are a chance to focus on the story behind the brand. Let us look at some ways you can master the art of marketing in 15 seconds.

1. Repurpose TikTok Videos

Have a TikTok video idea that has a lot of views? Use it on Reels.

Since Instagram’s video sharing tool is relatively new, viral trends and challenges tend to appear on Reels a week after TikTok. Use TikTok videos that received a good response to stay ahead in your IG Reels game.

French luxury retailer Balmain takes this a step further and uses the same video on both platforms to maintain consistency across social media channels.

In this case, the highlighted video has received more views on Instagram Reels than TikTok. And the difference is drastic!

2. Share Educational Content Fun Way

Since Instagram Reels is all about entertaining content, your products can not be the video’s primary focus. You can create bite-sized content around it that is informative and set to catchy music.

Take a look at this Reel From Grammarly. The brand is very active on Instagram and taking maximum advantage of Reels for the Brand. The brand is all about fixing grammar for businesses and individuals. They simply showed how you can replace “very” from your content and make it more catchy.

It is a perfect example of educational content. And the Reel runs trendy music in the background so people can quickly relate to the current trend. This Reel received almost 70k views on Instagram.

Need help marketing your eCommerce store on social media?

Book a free call to learn how our team of eCommerce experts can help you generate leads, boost traffic and drive MORE sales with social media.

3. Showcase The Application Of The Products Quickly

You have about 15 seconds to showcase your product and even less time before your viewer moves on to the next reel, so jump right in and show them how to use it.

Remember that reels are just a way to pique their interest, and you do not have to elaborate on the benefits of the product and why they should visit your site to know more.

Take the example of MAC Cosmetics who is condensing the hours of make-up into short videos that give you a quick look into using their products. This is a clever way to get the customers interested in heading over to their site to know more.

MAC receives 500k views on the Reels on an average, and 10k+ likes on every video! For more take a look at An Ultimate Guide to Build an Instagram Story Content Strategy.

4. Behind The Scenes

Instagram Reels is a great place to show the story behind your brand and connect with your audience. Take them through the process of launching your next product or the next marketing campaign idea, or even a website update.

You could have a fun clip about your employees taking on a dance challenge or just pranks at the office. Remember to keep it light and people-focused.

Take a look at this fun video from the HubSpot team on last-minute Halloween Costumes! It’s fun, casual, and talks a lot about your company culture.

5. Display Offers & Discounts

Who doesn’t like free things? Another sure way of getting your customer’s attention is by displaying your offers and discounts. Catchy music, a big banner that tells them where to find the deal, the coupon code, eye-catching visuals, and you are set. Special offers, especially around the coming holiday season, will definitely get you the eyeballs you need.

Reels can help you increase customer engagement and help you stay connected with your audience. It allows your consumers a break from the hard sell and gives you the chance to market your product subtly.

The short videos are especially great for small businesses as it is not very expensive and does not require a large budget. By jumping on trends, you give them an insider’s look into your business. They enable you to reach out to a broad audience and create a buzz around your brand.

4 Tips For Crafting Successful Instagram Reels

You may think that Reels and TikTok are the same, so why invest in making videos for Reels. While they do belong to the same format, there are two main differences.

First, from 15 seconds to 30 seconds, the Reels are shorter than the 1-minute videos TikTok allows. Two, Reels are a part of a much bigger Instagram ecosystem. With posts, stories, and now Reels, you have to see it as one big strategy to succeed.

Instagram also clocks in more than 1 billion monthly active users, according to Statista, and you have only 15 seconds to convince them to head over to your site. So, let’s see how exactly you can execute a fine Instagram Reel that brings you engagement.

1. Post It On The Right Time

Content on Instagram moves fast, and if you post at the wrong time, it will likely be buried. A study by Sprout Social indicates that the best time to post anything on Instagram is between Wednesday at 11 am and Friday at 11 am. Mid-week blues make Wednesday the best time to post anything, while Sunday is the day people give social media a rest.

This is not to say your Reels should be silent the rest of the time but keep the more engaging videos about launches, discounts, and viral challenges for these days when more people can see your content. You can also use scheduling software to manage your time and ensure you set aside time to post the content at regular intervals.

For more check out these 30 Best Instagram Business Tools to Help You Create Better Content

2. Stay With The Trend

Trends are a great way to use an already popular theme and create awareness for your brand.

However, viral trends have a short shelf life, and you have to continually stay on the Trend watch to strike it when it is gaining popularity. If you are still doing the Renegade dance in October, you will not drive any engagement.

One way to do this is to take a look at TikTok for possible trends that are gaining traction. Most of these viral trends tend to start with video by individual creators, but once celebrities jump on it, their reach amplifies. You can quickly check for the “Discover” section in TikTok, and find the most trending topics:

3. Use Humor Wherever Possible

As a brand, you may be tempted to make content only around your business, but remember Reels should be light and entertaining. There is no better way than humor to get more views and drive engagement.

As I said, Reels are people-focused, and you can use your team to come up with humorous content that may not even be related to your core business.

Take fitness instructor Cassey Ho’s Blogilates page that uses humor around food and exercises to drive more engagement. Notice how her Reels are not just about workouts but pokes fun at eating habits. By using humor, she is connecting with her audience and making herself more relatable.

4. Use The Right Background Music

The music sets the tone for your Reels and is a crucial element in its success. Choose music that is popular and also fits your content. Since the music is only for a very short duration, ensure that it is not too abrupt. Also, opt for trending music like the recent rise of K-pop music that includes BTS and Blackpink.

Reels also allows you to upload original audio. If you plan to use your music, make sure that it is clear and sounds like professionally recorded music.

These are just some of the basic ideas that will help you use Instagram Reels to benefit your business. However, there is no structure to them, and you should innovate and get creative with your visual content.

Since Reels is a new platform, you have the chance to attract more viewers and become one of the top creators. Get the first-mover advantage with these tips to create a name for yourself.

Bottomline

With its existing user base, Instagram Reels is a great way to tie up your marketing efforts on the platform. With Shop, Stories, and now Reels, you can create an all-around image for your brand and also lead them right to the checkout counter, all on the same platform.

There are two major things to remember here - First, Keep it casual, lighthearted, and fun. Secondly, stay relevant to your brand and create content around it.

About the Author

Owen Jones is the Senior Content Marketer at ZoomShift, an online schedule maker app. He is an experienced SaaS marketer, specializing in content marketing, CRO, and FB advertising. He likes to share his knowledge with others to help them increase results.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8230801 https://ift.tt/38Gmb7W via IFTTT

#IFTTT #RSSMix.com Mix ID 8230801

[tangerinewrites]

DAY 20: YEONJUN

11/20/2020

wc: 1640 

Yeonjun feels as if deep down, he knew that K-Arts wasn’t in his future. And rather than being upset about it longer than he already was, he had decided to accept it in the end. It’s not like he an expect his parents to pay his tuition at this point. And even if he was willing to make music to go through the audition process again, he felt as if it wasn’t worth the effort if he’d be staying in college longer. After all, he felt as if he knew a good amount to get him out into the real world with his music.

So when his parents let him know that he could move out but that they won’t pay for his tuition in both K-Arts AND SNU, he accepted it. He didn’t ask any other questions and he simply told the both of them that he’d try to get out of their hair as soon as they can. It’s why he’s in the process of packing everything together to move over to San’s house. And it wasn’t that much, considering the boy practically spent most of his nights there nowadays.

As he was cleaning out his room, he hears a knock on the door. “Come in,” he says.When he turns around to see who’s at the door, he isn’t at all surprised over the fact that it was his mother. Though he didn’t get along well with the both of them, she was always the one that made an attempt to communicate with him. Not like he cared too much about that anyways, since they both preferred Seojun in the end anyways.

"Do you need help with anything?” she asks. It confuses him at first, as he wasn’t really used to her caring for him. But he doesn’t think about it too much. After all, he had to focus on getting out of here as soon as he could.

“I’m good. Thanks,” he says, sounding as polite as he could. Even if he didn’t really want to interact with her, the other woman was still his mother. So rather than talking to her, he tries his best to bring his attention on finishing his task at hand instead.

She sighs. That can’t be good. It looks like she wants to say something. “Yeonjun, can we talk? Please?”

He looks at her for a split moment and contemplates for a second on what he should do. On one hand, he could end this “polite” act with her and continue to pack just so he could get out of here as soon as he could. On the other hand, besides the fact that he didnt want to straight up be rude to her, whatever she had to say to him could be important enough to him.

So, he puts what her was holding to the side and he looks at his mother, waiting for her to say what she had to say to him. “What’s up?”

“Do you really think that your father and I don’t care about you?”

The question alarmed him, but he thankfully already knew his answer to it. He knew it a long time ago. He nodded his head.

Just from that, the woman’s face dropped. “Oh, Yeonjun. I’m so sorry.”

“Why?” he asks. “Why are you sorry?”

“I never realized how much we hurt you growing up,” she responds. “All this time, I just thought we were giving you tough love. Your father and I just thought we were giving you some advice for the future. But to know that we hurt you? That’s so…”

He furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean? Are you saying you were not aware?” he asks with a bit of an accusatory tone. “If you were going to just give me tough love, why did you not give your oldest the same type of treatment? Just say you had a clear bias and leave.”

“That’s the thing. We only realized that after you told us on that one night,” she explains. “When you told us about how hurt you felt over the fact that we have always showed favoritism over your brother rather than you, we realized we were not treating you like proper parents. And… on behalf of both your father and I, we’re really sorry about all the pain we have caused you.”

When he listens to her apology, he wishes he can just ask her to leave his room so that he can continue cleaning. After living with them for so long, he has doubts over the possibility of them ever changing their ways for him.

So the first thing that he says after she confesses that is a statement. “You know you’re not going to change my mind about moving out, right?”

She sighs. “Is this what you really want?”

“Considering the fact that I only felt comfortable at my own friend’s house than I did with you guys, yeah. It is what I want.” He crosses his arms. “You can’t expect me to forgive you after years of you guys making me miserable. Whether it was intentional or not, you still are responsible for the negative emotions I felt in this house. So I don’t want to have to continue associating with that any longer than I have to.”

The response seems to have affected his mother a lot, but it’s not like Yeonjun regrets what he said. She knew that, too. He wouldn’t purposely say these things only to hurt her. So rather than trying to argue with her son anymore, she accepts defeat and nods her head.

“I understand,” she says, sounding defeated. Yeonjun isn’t sure if it’s genuine or if she’s just acting to get some sympathy from him. “I can’t really convince you to choose otherwise. So, all I can do is wish you the best and hope you know what you’re doing.”

He looks at her with a tight smile. “I’m not a little baby anymore, mom. I know what I want to do with my life.”

And with that, she turns to leave her room as he continues to pack his belongings to move away.

The moment he uploaded his song on a TikTok, he didn’t expect it to get as much attention as it did. So when it made its rounds to not only San’s “For You” page, but also his friends from SOPA’s, he was definitely shocked. Never did he think a song like his would ever go viral on the internet, let alone get any attention at all. The fact that even his famous friends decided to use it for their audios warmed their hearts and soon enough, he was able to get contacted by an entertainment company.

He still lives with San, thankfully. He wasn’t signed to a company that required him to dance and train. All he had to do was make music in the comfort of his own home and give it on specific due dates. And with his increasing TikTok fame, he could even promote himself on the app so that his fans could listen to it and be determined to stream. It’s strange to think about, him being able to follow his dreams in a different way than what he thought he would. But he was definitely satisfied with the results.

He decides to go LIVE on TikTok for the first time. It’s been a while since he had gone live on the app, with his schedules constantly taking up his time. If it wasn’t that, he’d also be spending too much time with San. Not like it was an issue though, considering the fact that he had been out to his fans for a couple of months now.

Like his usual LIVEs, he would joke around with his fans and answer some questions that they had about him. Obviously, he would ignore the ones that he had already answered or anything that made him uncomfortable. But there was one comment that gained his attention and he felt as if he had no choice but to answer it as soon as he saw it.

“‘I’ve been struggling a lot mentally with life, but your music always manages to make me get through it. Thank you so much for all you do, Junie.’” After he reads that, he looks at the camera with a smile. “You have no idea how happy those comments make me feel,” he says with genuine earnest in his voice. “Honestly, I want to be able to make music that could make others happy and go through difficult moments in their life. I have struggled a lot mentally in the past myself and I felt like I always needed someone to help me out. So knowing that I’m able to be that person for you really warms my heart. I’m so glad I could be that person for you. And I hope I’m like that to you all as well.”

After he says that, all his fans respond with the pleading face emoji and he finds himself laughing before he tries to imitate that face. As soon as he goes back to his normal face, he continues to read comments. “‘When’s the album coming, king?’” he laughs as soon as he sees that comment before he looks at his phone camera with a wink. “Can you guys chill? I just released a song yesterday. You can’t rush perfection!”

After he says that, he brings his phone up to his lips to whisper something. “Watch out for it in a month. If I reveal anymore, I’m going to get in trouble with my manager.”

After that, he puts his camera back on its tripod, noticing a text notification from none other than the big guy himself. Well, once a little shit, always a little shit.

#( * MTM:U - YEONJUN ) #( * NANO! )

[annielynnnnnn]

Chapters 10, 11, 12, & 13 Reflection

The impact of the internet and social media is incomprehensible. Since Facebook came on the scene, we as consumers of media have discovered a whole new world of connections and possibilities. While reading this chapter, I came to the realization that I did not know how much Facebook impacted the world we live in today with social media at the forefront of media consumption. The invention of the Internet and social media comes with benefits and consequences as many inventions often do. Because Facebook became so popular, more and more social media was created for media consumers. Nowadays, people have Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat accounts that they tend to for hours and hours on end. Like most media platforms that I have discussed previously, I recognize the importance of the media created and how it can benefit a person from using that media or being apart of that process. However, reading these chapters about different forms of media and how use it usually brings to mind the negative effects that media can have. Within in this chapter, it speaks on Facebook envy and Facebook depression, which essentially goes into the emotions that are tied with social media. Social media can be fun, entertaining, and even a productive use of your time when used in moderation and with healthy boundaries. However, social media is like a double-edged sword in a sense that it can both bring so much good and so much bad into the world. Upon reading this chapter, I reflect on my previous blog and how I no longer use social media for the time being. I made this choice for essentially  three reasons: I have a major fear of missing out, it brings out insecurities and negative thoughts, and it is a huge time waster. I have an appreciation for social media and the internet, but I am also able to recognize the downsides that come with new media as well. 

Chapter 11 covers the topic of public relations and the importance of public relations in our modern day world. This semester I am taking Intro to Public Relations so the information within this chapter I am already vaguely familiar with. Public relations has most definitely changed throughout the years and with that transformation has come more and more ways to connect with the public. It could be argued that we are surrounded by public relations and often times, it is hard for the consumer to distinguish what public relations even is. Public relations should be a seamless operation that is unrecognizable to the naked eye. If the consumer cannot tell, then the company using public relations is doing a good job and should be recognized for their ability to connect with their publics without them even noticing.  

In the chapter, it lays out different types of public relations that firms can offer. One that stood out to me the most was issues management, and made me want to look further into what that actually looked like using real life examples. From this curiosity sprung a discovery of a public relations blunder and a new found appreciation for companies who are able to combat issues management well. Through doing research, I discovered a case study on the company BP and how they handled the public relations side of the disaster that occurred in the year 2010. After the BP oil company spilled millions of barrels of oil into the Gulf of Mexico, they had a public relations issue on their hands. Unfortunately, the CEO of the company did not handle the crisis well, and said many things which landed the company into a worse situation than they were before. After all of it was over, the company had spent around 60 billion dollars for the mess they had made. Had they gone about their issues management differently, the BP oil company could have been able to come back from their mistakes. However, public relations and issues management were not prioritized early on causing BP to go down in history as one of the worst public relations mistakes of our time. 

Advertising has been discussed throughout the entirety of the semester. Advertising is connected to how one finds out about radio shows, television, and even the social media we have on our phones. I truly believe that advertisements have so much power to them and we have become so immune to them that it is hard to recognize how often they are placed within our lives. There are advertisements absolutely everywhere and they are unavoidable to the consumer, so it is important that as consumers of media we recognize this power and be smart with how we interact with the advertisements displayed in our daily lives. What I found to be the most interesting about this chapter was how advertisements are regulated by the FCC and how advertisers do not necessarily have to tell the whole truth when advertising to their consumers. In the back of mind, I believe I knew that advertisements were not necessarily always accurate and are able to bend the truth a bit. However, where is the line between false advertisement and saying little white lies about a product? I guess what I would like to know is how the FCC goes about regulating the advertisements that I hear everyday and how they decide what is okay and what is not. As a consumer, I want to know that the companies I choose to buy from are ethical in the ways that they both attract business through advertisements as well as have ethical values as a whole. By reading this chapter, my life has been changed in the fact that I did not know how much advertising affected my every day life and how as a consumer of media, I should be aware of how advertisers are able to bend the rules and behave unethically in order to gain more business from consumers. Overall, I thought this chapter was very informative and from these four chapters was the most helpful for me in becoming a more media literate citizen. 

The power of mass communication and media comes with a lot of questions. In Chapter 13 of our textbook, it discusses how there are several different theories on mass communication and the effect it has on people. Within this discussion on mass communication, the questions asked within the chapter have made me think about what I believe to be true about the influence of media and the ability for it to communicate to millions of people at once. The question that resonated with me the most was the overarching question of the benefits of media and how it can have prosocial effects. In the textbook, it mentions the fact that the media has influence over the amount of drug and alcohol use that consumers have, but it also mentions how media can change people for the better. So if the media does have so much power, what if we indeed used that power for good? The media changes the behavior of consumers and likewise the consumer has just as much of an effect on the media. Using different forms of media to portray good behavior could result in a better world than we live in today. This is known, yet media does not do this which has resulted into a more or less broken world, where bad behavior has become normalized to the average citizen. After learning more about the influence of media not only in this chapter but in this class as a whole, I am deeply saddened in the fact that media has not done more to make a positive impact on its consumers. As I look to the future and my usage of media, I think I am going to actively pursue that goal of only posting media and interacting with media in the best way that I can.