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straykidsupdate · 3 years

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Stray Kids Are Breaking Records, Breaking Eardrums and Breaking Limits (INTERVIEW)

A Stray Kids track a day keeps the stress away. Though one can argue the K-pop group's energetic brand of "noise music" could possibly heighten tension, their bass-bumping, get-the-crowd-jumping songs are encouraging, vital points to Stray Kids' calling: to be the voices of their generation.

As showcased on their fiery 2019 hip-pop hit "MIROH," or 2020's heavy-hitting "God's Menu," Stray Kids — often abbreviated as SKZ — are unrelenting in their journey of self-expression and their determination to push themselves, and their fans, to their full potential. A prime example? Their second studio album, NOEASY, released Aug. 23.

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Source: Pop Crush

The 14-track project, the majority of which was produced by sub-unit 3RACHA (Bang Chan, Changbin and Han), exhibits Stray Kids' ability to bring the noise no matter the tempo. NOEASY starts off strong with five in-your-face tracks that blend EDM and hip-hop elements (lead single "Thunderous," "Cheese," supporting single "Domino," "The View" and "SSICK"), while the later part of the album experiments with different genres and styles, from jazz-pop to rock.

Just three years into their career — they formed in 2018 — members Bang Chan, Lee Know, Changbin, Hyunjin, HAN, Felix, Seungmin and I.N. already carry dozens of award nominations and wins under their belt, and boast chart-topping hits in both physical and digital sales. Even before the release of their second album, the group already set a new record by becoming the first artist under JYP Entertainment to reach 1 million pre-orders.

We recently caught up with the members to talk about NOEASY, the adorable SKZOO version of "Thunderous" and why touring is their first and foremost priority.

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Congratulations on your second album! A studio album takes lots of work, so how does it feel to have this out there in the world now?

Changbin: We really put our everything into preparing this album and we're really confident in it, so I’m really happy that STAY can finally listen to it!

Lee Know: We couldn’t wait to put this out because there are so many really, really good songs on it, so it feels great to finally release this album.

Hyunjin: Somehow a year has already passed, and we’re so thankful to our STAY who have waited for us. The entire album is good, so we hope STAY really enjoy it.

NOEASY has already achieved the title of being the best-selling album in JYP Entertainment in history. Any thoughts on that? What other records would you guys like to break?

Bang Chan: That title was achievable all thanks to STAY! If it weren't for STAY, we wouldn’t have been able to have even gotten this far. Stray Kids are known as “the kids that enjoy breaking things." We break objects, break eardrums and break limits, so breaking another record wouldn’t be so bad. Of course, we’ll need the help from STAY!

I.N: I hope we grow even more with the next album, so much so that people will describe us as artists who are constantly improving.

What were your first impressions of the title track?

HAN: When we listened to the final product, it made me really happy that the track sounded really fresh, the lyrics were very witty and full of spirit and it clearly embodied Stray Kids’ distinct color. I wanted to hurry and work on the performance and share the song with someone!

Felix: The song is really unique and I believe that we were the only team to make it impactful.

Seungmin: One day, upon arriving at home, 3RACHA immediately played the song for me. The moment I heard it, it felt electrifying, and I really wanted it to be a title track. That’s why I voiced a lot of my opinion, too.

3RACHA (Bang Chan, Changbin and Han), you guys have made a name for yourself and were heavily involved in this second album just like past releases. What was it like with this project?

Bang Chan: Just like any other project that we’ve worked on, we just had fun. We experimented with a lot of different styles and tried our best to widen our musical spectrum.

Changbin: We knew there would be a lot of expectations as this would be a full album, so we really put a lot of effort into the process.

HAN: The process was a lot of fun. We’d ask ourselves, “What should we attempt? What should we try next?” And we looked forward to what we’d come up with while working on this album.

How was it different this time?

Bang Chan: The “let’s just have fun” part hasn’t changed at all, but the biggest difference would be the genres of music and the ways we recorded the songs.

Changbin: Perhaps because our second full album is the first album we’re releasing after [television competition] Kingdom, there was a bit of pressure to meet people’s expectations. When pondering what everyone would be expecting of us, we thought they’d definitely be looking forward to something new in true Stray Kids’ fashion. I think that’s the part that we contemplated a lot.

HAN: I think, compared to before, we had a little more fun while working on this album. There was no time crunch, and we worked with the thought of making music that best fits who we are today, so I think the end result came out really well.

What would you say were the key highlights for the album?

Bang Chan: One thing that I hope people will notice is the improvement of all the members’ recording skills. We put a lot of effort into all the songs.

Changbin: The album includes unit songs in which all of our members took part during the creative process.

HAN: I hope people look forward to Stray Kids’ distinct musical color, our wit and how much we’ve matured.

When you guys came up with NOEASY as the title, how did you define it in your own terms?

Bang Chan: This might sound cheesy, but life itself is pretty “no easy." Everyone goes through obstacles, everyone has their own downs and lows, but I feel like it depends on how “noisy” you’re going to be to overcome those hardships.

HAN: NOEASY is trying to convey that things may be hard, but we’re going to break through that difficulty with our sound! I think the best way to explain it is that even if things are tough, as long as we have the sound of Stray Kids and the sound of STAY, we can overcome anything.

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You spoiled your fans with so much pre-release content, which would you say were your favorites and why?

Lee Know: The SKZOO teaser was the most memorable. I would say the cuteness amidst the power was the key point.

Hyunjin: The trailer video was a little embarrassing to film, but after seeing it all come together, it looked so cool that I hope we get to do it again next time!

Seungmin: We worked on unit songs that were included on this album, and the Song Camp teaser videos that showed the creative process behind those unit songs were really good! I think our STAY really enjoyed them, so I hope we can do that type of content again.

About the SKZOO version of the “Thunderous” video: Whose idea was it?

Felix: As we prepared for our comeback, we wanted to impress and entertain our fans with something fun and unique, so we all came to one conclusion which was wearing our costumes for “Thunderous."

Your music has become incredibly encouraging and has touched many STAY around the world. What would you say is your ultimate message as Stray Kids?

Bang Chan: At one point in their lives, people will have a moment where they feel astray from the road that they’ve chosen, and I would like those people to know that they’re not the only ones that feel that way. So, whenever you need someone to keep you company, just know that Stray Kids are here to get you back on track.

You guys pretty much owned 2020 with hit after hit, including “God’s Menu” and “Back Door." How has it been working and releasing music in the midst of the pandemic?

Changbin: There was a lot more time being spent at home, but I didn’t want to waste that time, and instead used it to consistently work on new music. I hope people listen to our songs and gain strength during this challenging time.

Seungmin: To be honest, I was really bummed we couldn’t get to meet our STAY in person, but I think we promoted our album hoping that STAY could feel our love through videos, our music and their hearts even from afar. I’m grateful because I think our sincerity was relayed despite not being able to see each other in person. We spent our time working really hard even in the unseen!

When the pandemic is over and everything’s okay, what’s the first thing you want to do?

Bang Chan: World tour, first priority!

Lee Know: The very first thing I want to do is have a fan meeting with STAY.

Changbin: Definitely an in-person concert.

Hyunjin: I want to go on a world tour to hurry and meet our STAY all over the world and experience new cultures in different countries! I also want to perform for our STAY in-person at Korean music shows.

HAN: A concert! I want to hurry and have a concert so we can vibe with STAY and sing together in the same place. I miss this so much and can’t wait until we can do this again.

Felix: World tour!

Seungmin: I would say the first that comes to mind is a concert with STAY where we can finally greet them and have fun together!

I.N: I want to do a world tour.

Congratulations on your third anniversary! Do you guys have any wishes, individually or as a group?

Bang Chan: Individually, I just wish for everyone to be safe and happy. As a team, I wish that we can reach places that haven’t been reached before with the help from STAY.

Lee Know: I really want to be able to let STAY experience our performances visually and physically in real life as soon as possible.

Changbin: I want to make music and perform as Stray Kids for a long time.

Hyunjin: I’m sad that we can’t right now, but I would really like for this time of coronavirus to pass so we’re able to make many more memories with STAY. I really miss the fan meetings, concerts and world tours.

HAN: I want to mature more and continue growing in my music and just as a person. I would like to make even better music so that I can continue to touch STAY’s hearts and give them joy.

Felix: Individually, I hope to make a lot of memories and give a lot of hope and happiness to the STAY all around the world to the best of my ability. As a team, we really want to go on a world tour to meet our STAY as soon as possible.

Seungmin: I want to show our fans an even more improved version of ourselves. My wish is to show STAY that we’ll never go backwards!

I.N: I would like to continue improving and be described as an artist of consistent growth. I want to become an artist that’s a good influence on people.

What’s something you would like people to know about SKZ if they haven’t given them a chance yet?

Lee Know: We’ve got backbone. Once you fall for us, it’s hard to get out.

Hyunjin: I hope that after listening to our diverse music and watching our extravagant performances, people will notice us a little more.

Anything else you’d like to say? Speak now or forever hold your peace!

HAN: STAY, thank you for always giving us positive energy. We feel bad because it seems like we’re always just on the receiving end, but we’ll work hard to reciprocate what you’ve given to us! We’re always so thankful for you, and we miss you so much. We love you, and please continue to watch over us.

#stray kids #210924 #era: NOEASY #t: article #pop crush

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whatgaviiformes · 3 years

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Hey! I wondered if I could be cheeky and ask for a combination of 2 Olympic prompts? I'd really like a combo of victory for one brother (maybe Scott?) and loss for another (maybe Gordon) on the same day (if not in the same event). To be honest, any pair of brothers would be fine. And I know this is kind of detailed and complicated, so I am more than happy for you to refuse, or only take part of this to work with. Thanks!

Only if I can be equally as cheeky and combine events 😊 And it's funny you ask, I had just been talking to @the-original-sineater about a similar concept a few days before this prompt came in, and so I hope you don't mind, but I asked her if she didn't mind joining me as a co-writer on this one. The result has been a true passion project for the two of us - we've had a hell of a lot of fun working together. I sincerely hope it shows, and that you enjoy this story. Thanks to you both for the continued inspiration.

@katblu42 I also know you are having a rough go of things at the moment, so this story comes to you also with sincere Thunderfam hugs and well wishes.

The full story is up on Ao3 here: Faster, Stronger - Together

Or you can continue to part 1 below, and I will link to her post of part 2 at the end.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Faster, Stronger - Together (Part 1)

Scott braced on the edge of the pier. Toes curled around the lip, knees bent. The death throes of the typhoon that had passed through two days earlier made the water grey and choppy. It wasn’t the best conditions to race in, but it was the Olympics. You took what the gods gave you. But that made him want to hit the water even more.

“Hey Scooter! On your left!”

Scott glared to his left. There was only one person in the group of 50 that dared to call him that and with that goad. “Watch it FISH, I know where you sleep.”

His younger brother Gordon just laughed at him.

“Frigging fish.” He turned his gaze back to the water and waited for the starter’s pistol. Olympians tended to run in families. But having two brothers in the same event? In the same games? Uncommon, if not actually rare.

There was a chuckle to his right. “Little brothers are the bane of our existence, yes?” Denis Vallee of France was Scott’s primary competition, after Gordon. They had both had younger brothers in the games, but Denis’s had the good taste to be a fencer.

The pistol sounded before he could answer, and Scott dove into the water. The shock between the warm, nearly chewable air and the cold, storm churned water was enough to make him gasp. He shook it off and swam 1500 meters of the crawl.

Unless you were a little shit named Gordon Tracy. In which case you used the god damn butterfly . Used it, led with it, and was smug as hell about it. Anyone else saying anything like that about Gordon, in Scott’s presence, found out in a big hurry not too. Scott was the only one allowed to badmouth Gordon, his privilege as a big brother.

Still, this water was utter crap. He let a swell throw him forward. You had to pace in the Triathlon. 1500 meters of swimming, 40 clicks of a bike race, and 10 more clicks of running. It was a hard race to begin with. But in these conditions? It was brutal.

The first buoy and boat were in sight, marking the first turn. He kept as tight as he could to it. Anything to shave precious tenths off his time.

He could feel the lactic acid build up in his legs as they made for the second buoy. That was the turn that would take them to the headland and the bikes. God, his arms were burning. The chop made an already hard swim tougher. He had to post a good swim time. It wouldn’t be a great time, but as long as it was good, it would be okay.

The water was changing, calmer, a little warmer. They were in the headland's lee now. He could see the curve of the beach when he turned to breathe. It was only a dozen or so more strokes before his fingers hit sand. He got a leg under him, pushed upright and started to run for his bike.

He could see Gordon ahead of him. Denis was to his right, pushing through the water.

17 :23:41 That was Scott’s time. He could build on that.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Eight laps.

The irony was not lost on him that it was Scott who taught him how to ride a bike in the first place. They’d raced back then too, converting the acres of land on their family’s wheat farm into an obstacle course, even as Gordon found his balance on two wheels and his muscles filled out to challenge the length of Scott’s legs.

Being the eldest, Scott had the advantage then.

He was still a force, and Gordon knew not to underestimate his brother’s stamina at his age, the old man (and only Gordon was allowed to say that; privilege of being a younger brother). Scott may certainly start in the chase group after the swim, but he’d make his way forward into the leaders by the end of the cycling race.

If he had any chance at winning, Gordon had to work smarter.

Triathlon was about endurance across the three events. His disadvantage was that he was strongest in the swim, and the swim being the portion of the event that took place first allowed his competition plenty of opportunity to catch up to his scores.

Gordon knew his best chance to stay in the race was to give himself the head start, and while he could dominate the event with the crawl, every time he pushed his hardest through the swim using the standard stroke, he always burned out in later events.

The butterfly had been his secret weapon.

He’d been perfecting his approach to the triathlon event for months. The butterfly worked almost every muscle group, all pecs, and core, and deltoids, and trapezius, leaving his legs less drained and better reserved for the cycling and the run.

He knew what people would be saying about his change in swim strokes, how arrogant it might make him look. But Gordon knew his body.

And he knew Scott.

He was not going to let Scott beat him; he was going to win the hell out of this race and the butterfly was going to be what helped him do it. He was one of the fastest swimmers in the world, and it still gave him a hell of a solid lead with his time coming in at 16:59:12 for the full 1.5 kilometers.

And then he had no time to think, removing his cap and replacing it with a helmet for the biking portion.

Just practicing cycling alone and on flatland he could complete the 25 miles in 55 minutes on average. The 40 kilometers of the Olympic standard was just shy of that length, and with one lap almost complete, he knew those few uphill slopes could slow him down.

He stood on the pedals and leaned into the last curve of the track.

Seven laps.

As wide a lead as he had, he knew the competition would catch up eventually, but hell if he was going to make it easy on them. His guess was they’d catch up three laps in, and then the goal from there would be to stay in the group of leaders, even if he slid a bit further back. He could regain the ground he needed at the run.

Six laps.

The air was stifling and muggy, and it didn’t help the heat he felt in his lungs as he pressed his feet faster into the circular rhythm.

Gordon felt heavy, but controlled breathing against his neck.

That was the other reason he tried to get ahead. On the swim team he competed with lanes cleanly defined, and victory was about speed and skill alone. In the triathlon, the athletes were basically on top of each other, so close, too close.

Aw shit.

Vallee was on his tail.

Five laps.

The breakaway group was a pack of nine from what Gordon could feel around him. There were two right behind him, and six leading at the front, with Scott and Vallee fighting each other to push into first, other names like Tvedt and Balazs and Ricci weaving in and out behind them.

He was maybe milliseconds behind, but those milliseconds mattered.

Just keep with the group, Gordo.

Four laps.

Around him were chants of “USA!” They weren’t for him; they were chants for Scott, who’d taken a solid lead. It made him proud. From the back of the group, he still felt the thrill of the chase and the support of his countrymen invigorate his tired muscles, as they pushed through the fire and pressed forward.

Three laps.

The two competitors behind him fell back towards the peloton. He didn’t know how far behind they were, but it left him last in the breakaway. It made him feel like he was losing.

But he wasn’t.

He wasn’t losing.

He was okay, this was okay.

Breathe.

Two laps left.

Honestly, he was falling a bit behind too.

The back of Scott’s shoulders were red and flushed. Gordon should definitely have been focusing on himself and his own frantic pedaling, but he wasn’t able to stop thinking that Scott was pushing too hard.

Hell, they all were.

And, shit, everyone was still cheering .

Final Lap.

-o-o-o-o-o-

Virgil moved Kayo’s hand from his hand to his forearm. He didn’t want it broken. Which is what would happen if she kept squeezing.

Alan’s leg was bouncing so hard the chair he was sitting was dancing in place. John only looked calm. He was leaning forward, elbows on thighs, hands locked together. The white of the knuckles betraying his emotions.

Virgil had a stress ball in his other hand. One that might not survive this race if things kept up at this pace.

As much as he appreciated the support of their community in donating the high school’s gymnasium to livestream the event, the cheerful laughter of the townsfolk around them grated against Virgil’s skull. While it was a celebration for their town, it was incredibly nerve-racking for the Tracy family and their closest friends.

Supporting one brother in an event? Easy. Having two competing in the same event? Well, that was the hell of Solomon’s choice, wasn’t it? Scott had always dreamed of winning gold in the Olympics and had dedicated his life to training for the triathlon. But then, even though Gordon had already had his go on the swim team four years prior, he’d put so much of himself into training for the triathlon since - living and breathing cycling, running, and building up his endurance.

And there could only be one gold. No matter how they sliced it, they’d be celebrating with one brother...and mourning with the other.

Gordon’s old high-school swim team had gone wild when the second youngest pulled out the butterfly, darting immediately into the front of the pack, even with the more difficult stroke. Water was his element, and apparently he wanted everyone to know it.

The bike club had started yelling the minute Scott hit his bike. This course was where Scott could shine. Like Kansas, it wasn’t flat either. Scott was the master of the short hill and his friends knew it.

All Virgil could focus on was the flush on both his brothers’ faces. There wasn’t much one could do about a typhoon. Nature set her own schedules, but running a race in the remains of one? With humidity in the 70 percent range and no sun to help dry it out even a little? It worried him. It worried him a lot.

They watched as Scott powered through the last turn, and slammed into the transition area so fast he was running when he left the bike. The racers had a precious two minutes to change and start the running section. The last section.

Scott’s elapsed time was a solid one hour thirteen. Vallee’s was one hour thirteen and fifteen seconds. Gordon was at one hour fourteen and twenty seconds. Striking distance for the top three. Which would be the best outcome possible as far as Virgil was concerned. Each brother getting a medal. It would lead to some trash talk over the family dinner table, but they could live with that. Scott and Vallee burst out of the transition area at the same time. They were running side by side. A shot that the broadcaster seemed to take great delight in showing. They were so well matched they seemed like one runner.

Gordon was a bare heartbeat after his big brother. Ten kilometers, five out, and five back. This just might be the longest forty minutes of Virgil’s life.

He clenched the stress ball tighter in his hand. And watched with bated breath.

END OF PART 1 - Continue on SinEater's blog here.

#Gavii Scribit #collab piece #the-original-sineater #Olympics!Tracys #ask box prompts #Gordon Tracy #Scott Tracy #thunderbirds fanfiction #thunderfam

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rebloged-content · 3 years

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Recommended Sanders Sides creators

Marry Christmas, everyone! And a wonderful December day to all of you who don’t celebrate Christmas, too. Let’s be honest right off the bat, though: I��m only using the date as an excuse to do this list anyways.

So. Throughout the time I’ve spent as a part of this wonderful corner of the sanders sides fandom over here on tumblr, I’ve often found a new creator and wished I’d found them sooner. It kind of makes me wonder who else I might miss. If you do to, here are a few creators I’d love for you to check out. You’ll probably recognize some of the names, if not all, but maybe you’ll find a new favorite creator here?

And to the creators in question, I really love your content. If you’ve made it onto this list, you’ve definitely cause one or two sleepless nights of reading for me, because who needs sleep if I can have this, right? XD Whatever you’ll find written next to your name is the impression you’ve left on me and… Well, just know that you’ve made some days of my life at least a little happier, all of you. And I hope to repay the favor by telling you how much I appreciate you releasing your content into this world… Well, repay the favor at least a little, I suppose.

Let’s begin, then, shall we?

@5am-the-foxing-hour Because this? This is who you go to if you want to read good Janus-content. You are in a mood to read sympathetic Janus? Wanna see the danger noodle just casually interact with other sides? Go to their short stories. I mean, “the cult”? Prime example of how to tell a story with impact in just a few words. 8 paragraphs, but boy did I read that one on repeat. Or “water spray bottle”, this one is fun, short and will make you laugh. An energy drink for the fander heart, so to say.

Then there’s their mafia-au, “there’s more in me than precious metals”. Six are out so far, and I adore every single word of every single part of this. Protective Remus, sassy Janus, angst, comedy relief, destruction, Roman-Remus-sibling-rivalry, braincell Logan, survival instinct Virgil, working together over a common enemy… This fic has it all, believe me. Take your time and read it, because you will read the entire thing in one go once you start. At least I did, and I didn’t even notice.

And their advent writings? Those had me squealing and jumping around in a way I will deny if anyone ever sees it. I don’t even know what else to say, they are fucking fantastic and that’s that.

So, yeah. Go check them out, before I start fangirling about them even more. You know my personal favorites now, so just go there. You won’t regret it.

Next up is @coconut-cluster. Ah, yes, Lexi. Lexi, whose uni-AU started as self indulgent and has become the loceit story on tumblr. We all know her, or at least most of us do, and we all love her too. And while I also drop everything I do at any point of time I possibly can once I realize the uni-au has any form of new addition, there are a lot of other fics created by her that you should check out as well.

Did you, for example, ever want a sappy prinxiety one-shot with the sappiness only being implied, a mutual understanding of “we’re-not-saying-we-care-but-we-both-know-we-do” born from joking reassurances and a not-a-date-nope-only-a-break? While that may seem to be a tall order, that is exactly what “before the sun goes down” is. Plus there’s ice cream. Or maybe you’re more of a logince fan? Do you want a fic where Roman isn’t the prince but serves His Highness? Do you like sincere talks while you’re procrastinating showing your face to the subjects you don’t really want to rule over? In that case, you really should read “Viva la Vida”. Careful, though, this one is so sweet you’ll probably get a toothache… There also is an analogical fic that I’ve enjoyed very much: “Cracks in the Ceiling”. I love it, because it’s just calm. Fears creeping up on you, thrown away by a trusted friend with a few words, just by being there and playing into the metaphors you head created this time around. It’s calm, and there’s not really a climax or anything, but it doesn’t need one. Because it’s just a glance into everyday life. It’s beautiful in its own right, really.

What I’m saying is, Lexi has a lot more wonderful stories to tell than the uni-au. It’s the most popular one, sure, and it’s one of her best works. But you really should check out her other fics as well. Lexi herself once said that she writs fics she’d like to read. I would figure it’s because of this, but her stories are mostly things you don’t really find anywhere else. Dynamics, stories, world building, all of those are aspects you may find somewhere else. But Lexi is just one of those people who see what they miss in a fandom and create it themselves, and among these creators Lexi is my favorite. She just has that certain skill that makes that approach to writing result in the most enjoyable reading experiences. Lexi’s fics are special, because they’re different, because they are authentic and you can feel that when you’re reading her work.

@djpurple3 is another talented individual I want to talk about. I have to confess, DJ is, as far as original content goes, almost exclusively locked in my brain with the fiction “I just keep loosing my beat”. 23 Chapters so far, one better than the last. It’s a bitter-sweet story following Remus and his children, after the bitch of a mother has been brought behind bars. Abusive piece of shit. Yeah, I don’t like her much. But the story is so full of love and support, everyone trying their best, everyone seeing how much the others deserve the world and wishing they could give it to them… Roman and Remus have a sibling-dynamic I would die for here, too. Patton is just the most adorable friend to Deceit - here Damion - Virgil is a precious bean, Logan is cute and the teacher we all wish he’d had ourselves and… god, I could keep gushing about this fic forever. I’ll stop now, though, before I’ll start spoiler things. Wouldn’t want to do that, especially since I really, really, really want more people to give this a go. It’s not underrated, I just think everyone who doesn’t is missing out by a lot, so… Go over there and read DJ’s fic right fucking now, if you haven’t already read it at least once. Thank you.

@delimeful, our wonderful lime-friend with a cute cat making a terrifying face in his header. First of all, there is the WIBAR universe, short for “Watch it burn and rust”. 5 chapters in act one, 4 intermissions (one of those with three chapters), one chapter of act two, as well as three extras and an au of this au called “the end of being alone”, and I’ve lost count of how many nights I spent reading those instead of sleeping like I should. (Or interacting with family. Or being productive. Or… It’s really a good story, okay?!) WIBAR is a deathworlder au. So a space au in which humans are regarded as dangerous deathworlders who can survive on a deathworld like earth. In other words, Virgil is the only human, and boy does that scare everyone around him. And the best part? You can feel the development, the shift in mentality regarding Virgil, feel the moment approach in which he isn’t a threat but a companion instead.

And, apart from the fic that inspired me enough to start writing “TINND!R?” over on my writing blog, there are a lot more amazing fics to read on lime’s blog. He wrote “How easy you are to need”, for example. It’s soft, it pulls at just the right heartstrings, it’s achingly hopeful and, god, the ending still has me in tears, even after the fifth - ? sixth? something among those lines - reread. This one’s a werewolf au, actually. Virgil is the werewolf, Logan, Patton and Roman are the humans.

Do you want yourself some of that pre-AA dynamic? I’d recommend “to taste your beating heart”. In this, Virgil gets separated from the rest of his group of vampire hunters and gets turned into a vampire himself, loosing his memories. And he’s “Anx” now, not “Virgil”, goddamnit! He isn’t their friend anymore, why don’t they understand that? Well, probably because they can still see Virgil’s old habits shining through. There’s a lot of tension, a lot of angst and a whole lot of frustration involved in this.

He also wrote some amazing one-shots. They’re mostly so well written that I’m almost sad not to be waiting on a continuation. There’s “the littlest mermaid”, in which Virgil goes to investigate a noise, finding a scared, tiny mermaid in need of help. In “community gardens” we have Remus being Remus, gaining the interest and friendship of the forest’s giant Logan. “Magical mutualism” tells the tale of a witch and a demon making a pact beneficial to both parties and opening the doors neither could have gone beyond alone. The way we’re all confused about our ships not actually having set sail yet comes to a hight in Virgil in regards to his friends in “amateur matchmakers”. And this is the point at witch I stop talking before I actually recommend every single one of lime’s fics instead of just my favorites as I had planed because I started to gush too much… XD

Let’s move on to @muppenthings. Mupp is an amazing artist and she created a giant mermaid au. There’s this one orca who’s just… We love her, but I actually don’t think she’s the brightest. I really, really love her, though. Virgil himself is being a little protective over his human friends and casually so. I love this comic series for the art style, but I also love the way it makes me crack a laugh at least once per work. Or appeal to my mother-instincts, if it’s about baby Virgil. Too cute for his own good, I tell ya! And the facial expressions! The detail, the jokes, everything about this is wonderful. You should at least take a look.

@whenisitenoughtrees. Cat got me with “This cup of yours tastes holy (This lie is dead)”. “A slow voice on a wave of phase” was next, later “Infinity and beyond”, “we are not alone in the dark with out demons” and “changing of the guard”. And then, suddenly, the night was over. I’ve read almost all of the fics in one go, and I’ve been semi-frequently visiting her master post ever since. When “There’s an endless road to rediscover” came out just a little while back, that lead to me re-reading through almost the entire list. I don’t regret it, my plans for that weekend would like to disagree.

These six fics I mentioned here are, by no means, the only ones I enjoyed. Those are just the ones I’ve found myself opening up again and again in sleepless nights. Those are the ones that pop up in my head and have me smiling to myself in the middle of god-knows-whatever-I’ve-been-doing-at-the-time.

Angst, fluff, hurt-comfort, you’ll find everything in that list. And something I’ve grown to like about Cat’s fics even more than anything else is the quick change between feeling perplexed, a startled laugh at certain wordings (you’ll know what I’m talking about when you see it) and apprehension. These fics will have you at the edge of you seat, swooping you away on an emotional roller coaster. And, god, the way Cat writes from Remus’ perspective? The introductions of her stories and the way she redirects to the main topic after going into detail on something? I saved a few paragraphs as screenshots on my phone because I love them and I want to read them again when I’m down. I just… Cat’s great.

Next up is @eliemo. Because Elias Virgil is the royalty of Virgil angst. From the touch-starved Virgil we’ve all had a head cannon of at one point in “Heart of Ice”, over ace Virgil panicking over telling his boyfriends that he his ace and didn’t think to tell them before in “Love our way” to so, so much more.

Mostly EV follows the story arc of an underlying feeling of dread at the beginning, which slowly grows into panic, exploding in a storm of angst and concludes in everyone, or at least whoever is around, coming to the rescue and helping to calm down, with the end being the hope for getting better in the future. They always manage to convey the confusion, fear or just the general thought process so well that you can’t help but get absorbed in the story. They know exactly what to say and what to leave between the lines to get the maximum effect. And, your heart will definitely be shattered after their angst. Still, the way the sides comfort each other and support each other so well every time is just… I love their stories, a lot.

I want to make two more suggestions if you want to check out this creator. A Janus angst fic, which can only be described as “ouch” you’ll find under the name “snake bite”. It hurts in the best way possible, because Janus gets the comfort he deserves.

The other suggestion gets a lot darker. It’s about Virgil having been abused by the “others” before he got accepted into the light side. The others are shocked to find out what has gone on behind their backs and they help Virgil in every way they can to recover. Of cause it’s a rocky path, though. This would be “Learned Behavior”. The series/au has twelve stories so far, one of which has two parts. You’ll find the master post for this pinned to the top on their blog.

If you like angst, you should also give @maybedefinitely404 a look. Ly has a soulmate-au going, in which they use the concept of “you hear the music your soulmate listens to”. "Music in my head” is a prinxiety fic, but the two of them have yet to meet. Four chapters and two mini-fics in. The reason I mentioned angst is because in this - spoiler alert for the first few chapters here - , Virgil gets put through conversion therapy. Luckily Janus and Logan are better foster parents than the ones who did that to him.

They also have a master list for all their soulmate stories, featuring different ships. Apparently they participated in soulmate month, if I understood that correctly. And to be honest, that was how I even found their account. I absolutely adore their anxceit fic, which takes place in a human au. It’s starting off pretty sad, but the bonding moments are absolutely wonderful. It’s a lovely story, and the ending is one of the best ones I’ve yet to read. Their logince fic took my breath away, too. A flower shop/tattoo artist au, and Logan is the tattoo artist. Stunning writing, wonderful world building, just the right amount of backstory to have everything make sense without overwhelming/drowning the reader in unnecessary details. Their moxceit fiction… Well, this one had me in tears within the first few paragraphs. It’s terrible and you feel for Janus, whose perspective this is written from. The ending, though… Gods! The ending was so indescribably cute. To be honest, all of the soulmate stories are great, these three are just my personal favorites.

Concerning their one shots, you’ll probably have to figure it out on your own concerning this. I haven’t been able to read all of them yet, as sad as that makes me. Definitely palling on doing it in the future, though. I did read two of them, though. “Pippity poppity” really was amusing, and I am so looking forward to the second part of “The Boy who sings next door”. The way they write the dynamics between the sides? I live for that.

Another creator I would like to recommend is @maybe-im-tired.They don’t have a master post, as far as I could see, but they only post their content anyways, so… “Can’t take my eyes off of you” is my favorite out of their fics so far. I mean, the way they managed to fit the sheer chaos that is intrulogical into this one short fic is amazing. And you could take about two thirds of what Remus said and put it up on your wall as out-of-contexts-quotes. Don’t worry, he says them out of context anyways, and they will definitely make you laugh.

The series of short stories for the human au that starts with “Glowing stars” is another au by them that you will almost certainly like. We have Logan and Virgil as kids (about 7 I think), Remus and Patton as single parents, Roman as the most adoring uncle, Emile as babysitter and Remy as his amazing partner. Remus is a great father, wonderfully chaotic as well. And a teacher! Imagine that, Remus as your teacher... He’s great with kids though, as long as they aren’t entitled villains come to make his precious Virgil feel bad, that is.

They also wrote a bunch of “random one shots”. They are all amazing, but my favorite has to be this one. It’s a logince one, once again human au. Patton may or may not tell his big brother’s crush about the feelings he wasn’t prepared to share yet. You know, as small kids do. It’s soft, it will make you smile as much as Logan does, and I love Remus in it. I generally like how they write Remus, okay? I know how much I’ve said it, but I’m not even exaggerating. They always write him differently, and all versions they write him as are so, so lovable and just… I wanna hug the life out of all Remus versions they wrote, okay? Take a look, you’ll know why.

Anyways. Let’s continue with @figurative-siren-song. This is the last account I’ve followed and I’m still sad about it having taken me this long to find them. Little salty, to be honest. (I’ll stick to they/them because they said just not to use she/her, and, well… consistency, you know? Don’t have much, so I have to get what I can XD). When I finally did find them, I went through their entire master list (at least all of the ships with characters I actually know. I’m kinda bad with the shorts characters, so I usually just… avoid them? Idk. Personal preference, I guess), and, well… I would honestly recommend every single fic on that list. They call themself “Repair Fluff King™️” and they deserve that title. But when they warn you that a fic will be angsty, it will be angsty.

I found them through the anxceit fic “A Deal”. Well, through an animatic by their friend on youtube that had linked the fic, but details. I’ve been reading this fic up and down again and again. It’s just so good! And when they talk in the second part and Janus explains why he proposed that deal. Or in the continuation, which i can’t talk about because I will probably spoiler things! So wholesome!

Also, their losleepxeity fic “We’re worth it”. So soft! The nicknames, the plot, the everything. It’s softer than clouds look, and we all know that means something.

But, really. Everyone will find something for them by this creator. So many ships, all incredibly well written, and soft and fluffy without getting boring in the slightest. It’s as energizing as coffee, actually. And, let’s be honest, this whole fandom drowns itself in angst most of the time. Take a break from that, repair your broken hearts with goof fluffy content that you’ll want to read over and over again. Go check this creator out. You will love them.

Last but not least… @myfriendsasthesides A blog by a creator who just takes the wonderfully chaotic dynamics of a friend group and using that to give us content of incorrect sides quotes. Maybe it doesn’t fit with me going on and on about fics here. I don’t care. Follow them and turn on those notifications, please, because seeing even one post of theirs on your dashboard will make your day. It’s funny, it’s absurd, it’s chaotic, it’s making you jealous of them for having friends like that. Believe me, you will want to see those posts. It’s just… the random shots of serotonin and dopamine out generation needs really fucking desperately 100% of the time.

That’s it with the list! Eleven creators I absolutely adore, and I’m sorry I was babbling so much all the way through, but… Well, actually I’m not sorry. And actually, half of the reason I even made this post is to tell them how much I love them and fangirl about them a bit. So… Yeah. Well.I love you guys and hope you’ll have a wonderful day! And to everyone else reading this: I hope this helped you ind some new creators you can enjoy. And a good day to you too, of cause.

Sincerely, Joy 🖤

(@joylessnightsky/@sanders-sides-fic)

#I hope it's okay to you I just went ahead and did this #if you don't feel comfortable with this or anything written in here feel free to let me know #also no I didn't check the spelling #I'm too tired to do that anyways #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #recommendations #list

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officialyourdailyinspiration · 3 years

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Seven Marks of A Right Heart Before God

by J.C. Ryle

I. A right heart is a NEW heart(Ezek. 36:26). It is not the heart with which a person is born—but another heart put in them by the Holy Spirit. It is a heart which has new tastes, new joys, new sorrows, new desires, new hopes, new fears, new likes, new dislikes. It has new views about the soul, sin, God, Christ, salvation, the Bible, prayer, heaven, hell, the world, and holiness. It is like a farm with a new and good tenant. “Old things are passed away. Behold all things are become new” (2 Cor. 5:17).

II. A right heart is a BROKEN and CONTRITE heart (Psalm 51:17). It is broken off from pride, self-conceit, and self-righteousness. Its former high thoughts of self are cracked, shattered, and shivered to atoms. It thinks itself guilty, unworthy, and corrupt. Its former stubbornness, heaviness, and insensibility have thawed, disappeared, and passed away. It no longer thinks lightly of offending God. It is tender, sensitive, and jealously fearful of running into sin (2 Kings 22:19). It is humble, lowly, and self-abased, and sees in itself no good thing.

III. A right heart is a heart which BELIEVES ON CHRIST ALONE for salvation, and in which Christ dwells by faith (Rom. 10:10; Eph. 3:17). It rests all its hopes of pardon and eternal life on Christ’s atonement, Christ’s mediation, and Christ’s intercession. It is sprinkled in Christ’s blood from an evil conscience (Heb. 10:22). It turns to Christ as the compass-needle turns to the north. It looks to Christ for daily peace, mercy, and grace—as the sun-flower looks to the sun. It feeds on Christ for its daily sustenance, as Israel fed on the manna in the wilderness. It sees in Christ a special fitness to supply all its needs and requirements. It leans on Him, hangs on Him, builds on Him, cleaves to Him, as its physician, guardian, husband, and friend.

IV. A right heart is a PURIFIED heart (Acts 15:9; Matt. 5:8). It loves holiness, and hates sin. It strives daily to cleanse itself from all filthiness of flesh and spirit (2 Cor. 7:1). It abhors that which is evil, and cleaves to that which is good. It delights in the law of God, and has that law engraved on it, that it may not forget it (Psalm 119:11). It longs to keep the law more perfectly, and takes pleasure in those who love the law. It loves God and people. Its affections are set on things above. It never feels so light and happy as when it is most holy; and it looks forward to heaven with joy, as the place where perfect holiness will at length be attained.

V. A right heart is a PRAYING heart. It has within it “the Spirit of adoption whereby we cry, Abba Father” (Rom. 8:15). Its daily feeling is, “Your face, Lord, will I seek” (Psalm 27:8). It is drawn by an habitual inclination to speak to God about spiritual things—weakly, feebly, and imperfectly perhaps—but speak it must. It finds it necessary to pour out itself before God, as before a friend, and to spread before Him all its needs and desires. It tells Him all its secrets. It keeps back nothing from Him. You might as well try to persuade a person to live without breathing, as to persuade the possessor of a right heart to live without praying.

VI. A right heart is a heart that FEELS CONFLICT within it (Gal. 5:17). It finds within itself two opposing principles contending for the mastery—the flesh lusting against the spirit, and the spirit against the flesh. It knows by experience what Paul means when he says, “I see a law in my members warring against the law of my mind” (Rom. 7:23). The wrong heart knows nothing of this strife. The strong man keeps the wrong heart as their palace, and their goods are at peace (Luke 11:21). But when the rightful King takes possession of the heart, a struggle begins which never ends until death. The right heart may be known by its warfare, quite as much as by its peace.

VII. A right heart is HONEST, UNDIVIDED and TRUE (Luke 8:15; 1 Chron. 12:33; Heb. 10:22). There is nothing about it of falsehood, hypocrisy, or image-acting. It is not double or divided. It really is what it professes to be, feels what it professes to feel, and believes what it professes to believe. Its faith may be feeble. Its obedience may be very imperfect. But one thing will always distinguish the right heart. Its religion will be real, genuine, thorough, and sincere.

Summary: A heart such as that which I have now described, has always been the possession of all true Christians of every name, nation, people and tongue. They have differed from one another on many subjects—but they have all been of a right heart. Some of them have fallen, for a season, like David and Peter—but their hearts have never entirely departed from the Lord. They have often proved themselves to be men and women laden with infirmities—but their hearts have been right in the sight of God. They have understood one another on earth. They have found that their experience was everywhere one and the same. They will understand each other even better in the world to come. All that have had right hearts upon earth, will find that they have one heart when they enter heaven.

#Seven Marks of A Right Heart Before God #J.C. Ryle #The J.C. Ryle Archive

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mrlnsfrt · 3 years

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A Storm is Coming

Robertson asks the significant question: “Does the world hate us? If not, why not? Has the world become more Christian or Christians more worldly?” - Nichol, F. D. (Ed.). (1980). The Seventh-day Adventist Bible Commentary (Vol. 5, p. 1044). Review and Herald Publishing Association.

This is an interesting question and one that I will discuss further in this post. This is my third post on John 15, the first one was The One Thing (John 15:1-8), my second post was Love and Joy (John 15:9-17), and on this post, I will be focusing on John 15:18-25.

Hate

“If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. - John 15:18 NKJV

So far in John 15, we have read Jesus’ words about us remaining in Him and bearing fruit, and how as we do that we experience joy, and how remaining and loving God and one another is also deeply connected with keeping God’s commandments. Now, in that context of love, joy, and obedience we discover we will experience hate.

Jesus loves us as the Father loves Him, we are to love Him and one another, yet this will cause the world to hate us. How? Why? Because it hated Jesus, even though that is exactly how He lived. Jesus loved and obeyed the Father perfectly, Jesus also loved those around Him with a greater and more perfect love than anyone ever did, and yet they killed Him. Jesus lived the perfect life, He is our perfect example, yet He was hated and killed!? This is difficult to accept, and challenging to understand. But let us keep reading to see what else Jesus has to say.

Aliens?

If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. John 15:19NKJV

As followers of Jesus, we are not of this world. We live according to different values, we have different goals, we serve a different authority. All these differences cause us to stand apart from everyone else. Many of you may already know this but I was born in Brazil and moved to the US when I was about 12 years old. At this point in my life, I have lived in the US longer than I lived in Brazil, however, people I interact with can still tell that I am not originally from here. The way I talk and interact signals to others that I am a little different. I have an accent, my sentence structure is sometimes awkward, and even in social interactions I sometimes behave differently from those around me.

The interesting thing is that even when I visit my home country, I don’t quite fit in. I have become too “Americanized.” So I am too Brazilian to completely fit in where I currently live in the United States, and I am too American to fit in in Brazil where I was born. It does not matter where I go I am always a little different, different enough to people to wonder where I am from. This feeling is what comes to mind when I read Jesus’ statement that we are not of this world. There should be something about us that causes others to wonder where we are from.

What should be strange about us needs to be shaped by our love for God and those around us. It should be because of our faithfulness to God and sacrificial love for others. (for more on this see Love and Joy)

Persecuted

Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also. - John 15:20 NKJV

Jesus is our perfect example, we are called to live as He lived and as a result, we should also expect to suffer persecution as He did. However, I have witnessed a misinterpretation of this text that leads some to believe that persecution is a sign of faithfulness to God. Meaning that if you’re not being persecuted it must mean that you’re not being faithful to God. I can see the appeal of this interpretation, but I also see a danger. Would such an interpretation cause me to go out of my way to make enemies because persecution would validate the faithfulness of my approach?

What about what Jesus said in the Conclusion of the Sermon on the Mount?

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, For theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you. - Matthew 5:11-12 NKJV

Jesus said we are blessed when we are persecuted for righteousness’ sake! Jesus says that you are blessed when the evil they say against you is false and it happens for His sake. This means that when you are not doing anything evil but are being falsely accused. When you are doing nothing wrong and being persecuted, there is a special blessing there. But there is no blessing when you are harassing people in the name of Jesus. When you make Jesus and the gospel your weapon of choice to attack those who disagree with you I feel like you’re not going to get the promised blessing.

Remember that John 15:20 is found in the context of John 15, of abiding in Jesus and bearing fruit. The persecution here is to be understood in that context. I understand this to mean people persecuting you for being honest, kind, loving, and faithful to God. This does not mean you go out looking for a fight or instigating persecution, but rather that you lovingly and firmly stand unmovable on the teachings of the word of God. You don’t go out of your way to look for trouble, but should trouble (persecution) find you, may it be because of your faithfulness to God, and may you stand firm for your beliefs.

Personal Story

Here’s a personal story that I believe illustrates this,

When I was in high school I worked at a fast-food restaurant. I had explained to them about my religious beliefs and how I would not work from sunset on Friday evening until sunset on Saturday evening since I kept the biblical seventh-day Sabbath. The manager never made an issue of it the whole time I worked there. A friend of mine also worked there. He also kept the biblical seventh-day Sabbath as I did, however, he was fired after a few months. He told everyone at church that he was fired because of religious persecution. I, however, never experienced this persecution he spoke of. I believe that his firing might have been connected to his work ethic. I noticed him coming in late, asking to leave early, calling in sick on Sundays when he went to the beach, etc. Interestingly among our Brazilian friends, he would say he was fired because the manager was racist against Brazilians, something that I also never experienced.

I say this just to say if we want others to respect our religious beliefs we should also make an effort to live up to those beliefs, to be an example among others. I have found that employers are willing to make accommodations for their best employees. When you are honest, dependable, dedicated, motivated, you are preaching the gospel to those at work, even if you don’t stand up to read your Bible out loud at work.

But the persecution can also come when you are behaving the best way possible. When you insist on being honest when everyone else wants you to be a little dishonest. Sometimes the boss wants you to turn a blind eye, or do something that goes against your biblical principles. When you stand up while those around you or above you want to be dishonest it can bring persecution. When you refuse to laugh at a joke that is racist or sexist, you may lose some friends. When you stand up for someone who is being picked on unfairly when you make your voice heard in the defense of those who cannot speak for themselves it may make you less popular or even cause you to be persecuted. I believe that this is what Jesus was talking about.

Whenever I feel persecuted, I stop and think about what could possibly be causing it. Am I doing something wrong or am I being persecuted for doing what is right?

I don’t know all the cases, I am not always sure of the answer, so I believe that prayer and Bible study are essential along with a sincere desire to do the will of God.

For Jesus’ Sake

But all these things they will do to you for My name’s sake, because they do not know Him who sent Me. - John 15:21 NKJV

Ultimately I must understand that those who do not know God will not see things the way I see them. They have a different worldview, different values, and to be honest that even limits the activities I can be involved in. But if I ever find myself persecuted, I want it to be because of Jesus, for His name’s sake, and not because of my personal failures.

Judgment

If I had not come and spoken to them, they would have no sin, but now they have no excuse for their sin. - John 15:22 NKJV

Every time you preach the gospel you bring judgment to someone. When they hear the good news and reject it, they bring judgment on themselves. The good news about salvation in Jesus is an opportunity for someone to gain not only eternal life in the future but also a more abundant life right now. However, it is also an opportunity for them to reject God and His salvation and harden their hearts. The gospel demands a decision, a choice, you don’t get to hear it and continue to live life as usual. The gospel not only reveals God’s love it also reveals sin and removes any excuse from the sinner. That’s why reading the Bible is so dangerous, it brings judgment upon the reader by causing her to make a decision for or against God.

Without Cause

He who hates Me hates My Father also. If I had not done among them the works which no one else did, they would have no sin; but now they have seen and also hated both Me and My Father. But this happened that the word might be fulfilled which is written in their law, ‘They hated Me without a cause.’ - John 15:23-25 NKJV

So here is the breakdown of this message. Jesus was hated without cause, and as His faithful followers, we can expect the same. I just really want to stress the importance of the hate and persecution to be without a legitimate cause. It should not be because you’re rude, lazy, dishonest, unreliable. In those cases, the hate would be justified. You must aim to live a life as Jesus lived. A life shaped by love for God and for others, and if people still hate and persecute you, well, they persecuted Jesus also.

How Do I Face Life’s Challenges?

“But when the Helper comes, whom I shall send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father, He will testify of Me. And you also will bear witness, because you have been with Me from the beginning. - John 15:26-27 NKJV

I face life’s challenges by God’s grace and with the power of the Holy Spirit. I just continue to live a life that bears witness to Jesus. I invite Jesus into my heart, I accept Him as Lord and Savior. I remain in Him and allow Him to cause me to bear fruit for Him even if I am being persecuted.

Regardless of what is happening around me, I am called to remain in Jesus. I can leave the final consequences in His hands. God provided Manna for the Israelites when they were in the wilderness (Exodus 16) and caused ravens to bring food for Elijah (1 Kings 17) and I know that He can take care of my needs, after all, God has been providing for me since the day I was born.

I am not saying that following God is easy, I am saying it is worth it. My part is also simple, remain in Jesus, and allow Him to do for me and in me what needs to be done to cause me to bear fruit.

#Jesus #John #challenge

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advena87 · 4 years

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OC study!

This is OC game that which I found >> HERE <<

You can play it in the traditional way or in my way because I decided to modify it a little bit. Because, let's face it, if you have your OC then you would like to answer these questions. Even if no one cares, just make those answers for yourself to have ready headcanons for your OC. It can always be useful when you writing.

So choose a few of your OCs (I suggest no more than three but it’s up to you) and answer the following questions for them. For variety, make a portrait of them in any picrew that you like (I chose this one) and write a few words about them - who they are, for what fandom they were created, why you chose them for this presentation.

Then tag a few people who will enjoy making these answers. I also tag a few people at the end, but I know it's big and time consuming, so if it's too much for you, please ignore it and forgive me for bothering you with the tag.

So let's get started!

All my OCs come from my fanfic Granda (only in Polish but someday I will translate it. Somehow…). The action takes place in the witcher universe (mainly games, but also books), after the events of the Wild Hunt. Probably, at another time I will do it for my OCs from another fanfic, but for now I introduce you three men from Granda.

Aiden - he is not entirely my OC, he is mentioned in the Witcher 3, but considering how little we know about him, I had a lot of freedom in creating him. So I treat him like my OC. And I love him, he is my precious boy. Aiden is a witcher from cat school, and for some time he was considered dead after his path crossed with Jad Karadin/Bertram Tauler and his hansa.

Vadim Ormond from Ellander - After The Thanedd Coup, he was mage at the court of duke Hereward. For unknown reasons, the duke banished him from the principality and no one knew what was happening to Vadim. Unexpectedly, the sorcerer appears at the headquarters of the new Brotherhood of Sorcerers asking for support in the investigation of the coup d'état in Ellander.

Solomon Landrau - he is a mage from Lan Exeter who has extensive connections in the capital. Although the townspeople fear respect him, he doesn’t have a good opinion. Unofficially, he is rumored about his shady business.

questions below

1. Is your oc easily bothered by things?

Aiden - it depends. Aiden most of the time is rather carefree and solves all problems by violence or ignoring them until they bite his ass.

Vadim - No. Vadim is very difficult to upset or distract. He is usually focused on his goals and prepared for all adversities. But trust me - you don't want to piss him off.

Landrau - He is the thing that bothered others.

2. How easily does your oc make friends?

Aiden - he usually makes a very bad first impression, but he gets better on closer acquaintance. Despite the fact that he is a witcher, it is easy for him to make new friends. I mean, he made friends with Lambert. This is a high bar.

Vadim - he knows how to make people like him and consider him a friend. He is very sociable, polite and eloquent, but that doesn’t mean that his friendship is sincere.

Landrau - let's say it's much easier for him to make enemies.

3. Does your oc go beyond what they have to do or do they usually do just enough work to get by?

Aiden - He always says that he will do only as much as necessary and nothing more than that. But he always does more.

Vadim - Sometimes he does more, sometimes only the necessary minimum. It depends who he does it for.

Landrau - When Landrau does something extra, it means it's time to be scared.

4. Is your oc respectful of others?

Aiden - He respects those who respect him. He is always polite to those who treat him good. Those who don’t respect him don’t end well.

Vadim - Vadim is a diplomat, he always treats others with respect, which doesn't mean he really respects them.

Landrau - I don't know if there is a thing or a person he would respect.

5. Is your oc imaginative or more down-to-earth?

Aiden - Carefree on the one hand, and very down-to-earth on the other.

Vadim - Down-to-earth

Landrau - He firmly sees the world in his own way, but I wouldn’t say that he is imaginative. His mind just isn't working properly which distorts his perception of reality.

6. Is your oc comfortable with themselves?

Aiden - like most witchers, he has some problems with that, but usually he is comfortable with himself.

Vadim - Very comfortable with himself.

Landrau: Ugh… it depends on his mood swings, but most of the time he considers himself superior.

6. Does your oc plan things and stick to it or do they make it up as their go?

Aiden - he is a witcher from cat school. Does he look like a guy with a plan to you?

Vadim - Oh, he's definitely a guy with a plan. And that's a good plan.

Landrau - Yes, he has plan. Simply these plan is... weird.

7. Was their life eventful before the start of the story, or was it more dull?

Aiden - eventful

Vadim - eventful

Landrau - dull

8. Do they have the habit to insult other people?

Aiden - Most of the time

Vadim - Usually not, but if it offends someone, it is a high-class insult

Landrau - He doesn't bother insulting other people, he just destroys them.

9. Would your oc be described as “the life of the party”?

Aiden - Yes

Vadim - Yes, but in a completely different way than Aiden.

Landrau - No

10. Are they critical of others?

Aiden - No

Vadim - It depends

Landrau - YES

11. Do they like art? what is their favorite type (paintings, songs, fashion, etc)?

Aiden - He likes music. He has good musical hearing and a good sense of rhythm, also he can sing quite well. He likes obscene sailor songs the most.

Vadim - he appreciates art and likes it very much, mainly painting. He also sketches a bit.

Landrau - he lacks sensitivity to understand and feel art properly. He likes beautiful objects, but they don’t arouse any emotions in him.

12. Are they more accepting or more controlling of the people in their life?

Adien – Accepting

Vadim - Vadim accepts a close group of friends and people he considers a family. He doesn't pay attention to strangers until he has a purpose in it. Then he starts controlling them because he wants to use them.

Landrau – Controlling af

13. Is your oc a good listener?

Aiden - When the people he cares about are speaking - yes.

Vadim - Oh he is an excellent listener. And he can read between the lines. He will hear more than you want to tell him.

Landrau - He listens perfectly when you talk about something that interests him.

14. Are they opinionated or more willing to change their minds?

Aiden - Aiden is as stubborn as a mule. Even when he understands his mistake, he can still insist on it because he doesn't like to give up.

Vadim - He is flexible, if someone has a better idea, he sees no problem to use it.

Landrau - If someone thinks he is always right, why would he want to change his mind?

15. Are they the kind of person who’s always on the defensive?

three times no

16. Do people like hanging around them? Do they have a positive, friendly energy?

Aiden – yes, most of the time

Vadim - He is like a chameleon, if he wants to be friendly and positive then he will be.

Landrau - NO.

17. Is your oc a procastinator? if they are, what’s an example of how much?

three times no

18. Do they tend to panic in certain situations or are they more calm?

three times calm

19. are they vengeful?

Aiden - Most of the time, yes

Vadim – Vengeful af

Landau - Yes

20. What are some skills your oc has a talent for and what are some that they worked for?

Aiden - he is left-handed and this automatically gives him the advantage in sword fighting. He worked hard for his agility, he can climb and jump like a parkourist.

Vadim - he has a lot of personal charm, knows how speak to people, he is a natural diplomat. He had to work hard to become a wizard, he had no natural talent for magic. He had to study a lot.

Landrau - he is intimidating and knows how to benefit from it. He is also a magical self-taught person.

21. Are they more socially awkward or socially confident?

Aiden - it depends on the company, but usually he is socially confident.

Vadim - socially confident af

Landrau - socially awkward but he can deal with it.

22. What is something really dumb that irritates your oc a lot?

I don't know if this is really dumb, but this is what undoubtedly irritates my OCs

Aiden - he hates when someone commands him or tells him how to do something. Even if these are good tips he just doesn't obey.

Vadim – he doesn’t believe in gods and he is annoyed by public manifestations of faith.

Landrau - he is a pedant, he doesn't like dirt and mess.

23. Do they tend to see the good in people?

three times no

24. What does it take for your oc to trust someone?

Aiden - if someone proves his loyalty, if someone helps him in need without expecting favors.

Vadim - he trusts the facts, so if you are honest with him, there is a good chance that he will trust you.

Landrau - he trusts only himself.

25. Do they have a lot of mood swings?

Aiden - it happens to him but not often.

Vadim – no

Landrau – yeah, when he is in bad mood you better not approach him.

26. Do they like to be the center of attention or do they prefer to be in the background

three times background but from diffrent reasons

Aiden - because of bad experiences he prefers not to be center of attention. Witchers and especially witchers from the cat school are not liked, so he avoids attention.

Vadim – he can do very well when he is in the spotlight, but he prefers to be in the background because then it's easier to implement plans and manipulate others

Landrau - he usually stays in the background because it favors his shady business but he likes when the focus is on him.

27. Do people think they’re pretentious?

Aiden – no

Vadim - he can sometimes give such an impression

Landrau - YES

28. Is your oc detail oriented or do they focus more on the big picture?

Aiden – detail

Vadim - big picture

Landrau - detail

29. Which highschool movie stereotype would they fit best?

Aiden - The Rebel.

Vadim – hard to classify. Paradoxically, he is both a Loner and a School Diva.

Landrau - The Misfit / Outcast

30. are they good giving advice?

Aiden – oh god, no

Vadim – yes

Landrau - don't even try

31. Which one of the 7 deadly sins fit your oc more? do they see it as a flaw?

Aiden – envy and pride. He sees envy as flaw but not pride

Vadim – wrath. He thinks that he can turns his flaws into advantage, so no. Everything can be a tool for him.

Landrau – in fact all except maybe gluttony and sloth? His morality is highly debatable, so what is a flaw for someone can be an advantage for him.

32. Is your oc more likely to keep their feelings to themselves or to share them?

Aiden - He speaks about his feelings only to people he trusts and there are not many of those.

Vadim - he keeps it to himself

Landrau - what feelings?

***

I tag @marbienl13 @metalhead-nerdling @mothelia @witcher-not-quitter @1orweth @inkprintedfox @queenxxxsupreme @dravenxivuk

but only if you want to.

and also anyone who sees it and wants to do it. Please tag me if you do it, let me see your OC study!

#oc meme #oc game #oc study #oc question #picrew #aiden #witcher aiden #my oc #granda #fun

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dfroza · 3 years

Text

to stand firm in faith

just as a mountain or a Tree

this is a necessity in this world, in the face of opposition and the fear of man.

Paul writes of this in his Letter with Today’s reading from First Thessalonians:

[Timothy’s Mission]

When we could bear it no longer, we decided that we would remain in Athens and send Timothy in our place. He is our beloved brother and coworker with God in preaching the gospel. We knew he would strengthen your faith and encourage your hearts so that no one would be shaken by these persecutions, for you know that we are destined for this. In fact, when we were with you we forewarned you: “Suffering and persecution is coming.” And so it has happened, as you well know. For this reason, when I could endure it no longer, I sent our brother to find out if your faith was still strong, for I was concerned that the tempter had somehow enticed you and our labor would have been in vain.

But now, Timothy has just returned to us and brought us the terrific news of your faith and love. He informed us that you still hold us dear in your hearts and that you long to see us as much as we long to see you. So, our dear brothers and sisters, in the midst of all our distress and difficulties, your steadfastness of faith has greatly encouraged our hearts. We feel alive again as long as we know that you are standing firm in the Lord.

How could we ever thank God enough for all the wonderful joy that we feel before our God because of you? Every night and day we sincerely and fervently pray that we may see you face-to-face and furnish you with whatever may be lacking in your faith.

Now may our Father God and our precious Lord Jesus guide our steps on a path straight back to you. And may the Lord increase your love until it overflows toward one another and for all people, just as our love overflows toward you. Then your hearts will be strengthened in holiness so that you may be flawless and pure before the face of our God and Father at the appearing of our Lord Jesus with all his holy ones. Amen!

The Letter of 1st Thessalonians, Chapter 3 (The Passion Translation)

Today’s paired chapter of the Testaments is the 12th chapter of 2nd Kings that describes work done to fix the Temple in Jerusalem:

[Joash of Judah]

In the seventh year of Jehu, Joash began his kingly rule. He was king for forty years in Jerusalem. His mother’s name was Gazelle. She was from Beersheba.

Taught and trained by Jehoiada the priest, Joash did what pleased God for as long as he lived. (Even so, he didn’t get rid of the sacred fertility shrines—people still frequented them, sacrificing and burning incense.)

Joash instructed the priests: “Take the money that is brought into The Temple of God for holy offerings—both mandatory offerings and freewill offerings—and, keeping a careful accounting, use them to renovate The Temple wherever it has fallen into disrepair.”

But by the twenty-third year of Joash’s rule, the priests hadn’t done one thing—The Temple was as dilapidated as ever.

King Joash called Jehoiada the priest and the company of priests and said, “Why haven’t you renovated this sorry-looking Temple? You are forbidden to take any more money for Temple repairs—from now on, hand over everything you get.”

The priests agreed not to take any more money or to be involved in The Temple renovation.

Then Jehoiada took a single chest and bored a hole in the lid and placed it to the right of the main entrance into The Temple of God. All the offerings that were brought to The Temple of God were placed in the chest by the priests who guarded the entrance. When they saw that a large sum of money had accumulated in the chest, the king’s secretary and the chief priest would empty the chest and count the offerings. They would give the money accounted for to the managers of The Temple project; they in turn would pay the carpenters, construction workers, masons, stoneworkers, and the buyers of timber and quarried stone for the repair and renovation of The Temple of God—any expenses connected with fixing up The Temple. But none of the money brought into The Temple of God was used for liturgical “extras” (silver chalices, candle snuffers, trumpets, various gold and silver vessels, etc.). It was given to the workmen to pay for their repairing God’s Temple. And no one even had to check on the men who handled the money given for the project—they were honest men. Offerings designated for Compensation Offerings and Absolution Offerings didn’t go into the building project—those went directly to the priests.

Around this time Hazael king of Aram ventured out and attacked Gath, and he captured it. Then he decided to try for Jerusalem. Joash king of Judah countered by gathering up all the sacred memorials—gifts dedicated for holy use by his ancestors, the kings of Judah, Jehoshaphat, Jehoram, and Ahaziah, along with the holy memorials he himself had received, plus all the gold that he could find in the temple and palace storerooms—and sent it to Hazael king of Aram. Appeased, Hazael went on his way and didn’t bother Jerusalem.

The rest of the life and times of Joash and all that he did are written in The Chronicles of the Kings of Judah. At the last his palace staff formed a conspiracy and assassinated Joash as he was strolling along the ramp of the fortified outside city wall. Jozabad son of Shimeath and Jehozabad son of Shomer were the assassins. And so Joash died and was buried in the family plot in the City of David. His son Amaziah was king after him.

The Book of 2nd Kings, Chapter 12 (The Message)

my personal reading of the Scriptures for Thursday, december 17 of 2020 with a paired chapter from each Testament of the Bible, along with Today’s Psalms and Proverbs

A set of posts by John Parsons that points to the Light of our Creator:

It has been said that the Greek mindset regards what is beautiful as what is good, whereas the Hebraic mindset regards what is good as what is beautiful. The difference is one of orientation. Doing our duty before God, in other words, is what is truly beautiful, not merely appreciating the appearance of symmetry, order, and so on. This explains why moral discipline (i.e., musar, מוּסָר) is so prominent in Hebrew wisdom literature. True beauty cannot exist apart from moral truth.

The word chinukh (חִנּוּךְ), “education,” shares the same root as the word "chanukah" (חֲנֻכָּה, dedication). Unlike the Greek view that regards education as a pragmatic process of improving one's personal power or happiness, the Jewish idea implies dedication/direction to God and His concrete purposes on the earth. Disciples of Yeshua are likewise called talmidim (תַּלְמִידִים) -- a word that comes from lamad (לָמַד) meaning “to learn” (the Hebrew word for teacher is melamad (מְלַמֵּד) from the same root). In the New Testament, the word “disciple” is μαθητής, a learner or a pupil of a διδάσκαλος, or a teacher. True education is therefore foundational to being a disciple of the Messiah...

(Note that the Hebrew word “rabbi” comes from the word rav (רַב), which means "great." The word rabbi (רִבִּי) is formed by adding the 1st person singular ending, i.e., "my great one," or "my reverend." In Yiddish the word is rebbe. Yeshua told us not to call anyone other than Him "rabbi" or "father" since we are all brothers and sisters and He alone is our Master (Matt. 23:8)).

Following Yeshua, then, first of all means submitting to His authority and learning from Him as your Teacher (Matt. 23:8). Only after spending time with Him are you commissioned to go “to all the nations and teach...” (Matt. 28:19). This is accomplished not only by explaining (propositional) doctrine but by kiddush HaShem -- sanctifying the LORD in our lives. We are called to be a “living letter” sent to the world to be “read” (2 Cor. 3:2-3).

During Chanukah we recall the courage and faith of Judah the “Maccabee” and his brothers. The name "Maccabee" is said to be an acronym [מ כּ בּ י] for Moses’ affirmation of faith: מִי־כָמכָה בָּאֵלִם יהוה / “Who is like you, LORD, among the mighty?” (Exod. 15:11). Since God alone is the Supreme Ruler of the universe, we do not need to live in fear of man. As King David wrote: יהוה אוֹרִי וְיִשְׁעִי מִמִּי אִירָא / “The LORD is my Light and my Salvation - of whom shall I be afraid?” (Psalm 27:1). Yeshua the Messiah is our true Light (ha’or ha’amiti) and our Salvation (yeshu’ah). He has said, “My peace I give unto you. Let not your heart be troubled; neither let it be afraid. In the world you shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world” (John 14:27, 16:33). [Hebrew for Christians]

12.16.20 • Facebook

We are commanded not to love the world (κόσμος), nor the things this world values, since doing so embraces a philosophy of life, or spirituality, that is at war with the Father and contrary to the truth of the Eternal (1 John 2:16; James 4:4). The fallen world values "the flesh" and the "desire of the eyes" that is patterned according to the "arrogance of life"; it is a "beauty pageant" that esteems others based on their accidental qualities instead of their inner and essential qualities....

The world values other people as means to an end rather than as ends in themselves, and therefore is inherently violent and exploitative. The flesh is the realm of the all-too human, the selfish, the natural, the ordinary, and the tit-for-tat, where love and acceptance are extended solely in conditional terms (Matt. 5:46-47). In this connection, let me quote from the late Henri Nouwen and his book “Return of the Prodigal Son”:

"At issue here is the question: To whom do I belong? God or to the world?" Many of my daily preoccupations suggest that I belong more to the world than to God. A little criticism makes me angry, and a little rejection makes me depressed. A little praise raises my spirits, and a little success excites me. It takes very little to raise me up or thrust me down....

As long as I keep running about asking: "Do you love me? Do you really love me?" I give all power to the voices of the world and put myself in bondage because the world is filled with "ifs." The world says: "Yes, I love you if you are good-looking, intelligent, and wealthy. I love you if you have a good education, a good job, and good connections. I love you if you produce much, sell much, and buy much." There are endless "ifs" hidden in the world's love. These "ifs" enslave me, since it is impossible to respond adequately to all of them. The world's love is and always will be conditional. As long as I keep looking for my true self in the world of conditional love, I will remain "hooked" to the world - trying, failing, and trying again. It is a world that fosters addictions because what it offers cannot satisfy the deepest craving of my heart." [Hebrew for Christians]

https://hebrew4christians.com/

12.17.20 • Facebook

Today’s message from the Institute for Creation Research

December 17, 2020

Cursed or Blessed

“Thus saith the LORD; Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, and whose heart departeth from the LORD.” (Jeremiah 17:5)

Jeremiah provides for us a striking contrast between the self-assured humanist and the one who has placed his trust in God. The man who looks to his own abilities or those of others to save him in time of trouble is “cursed.” His existence will be one of futility, just as is that of a parched desert plant (v. 6). Why? Because his “heart departeth from the LORD” (v. 5), the source of strength and salvation.

Jeremiah uses a play on words here. The words for “man” in our text are different: the first means “warrior” or “strong man,” and the second a “normal man.” The warrior who should be strong is cursed because he is trusting in one who is weak; in this case, any other man’s wisdom or might, or even his own strength, when overestimated. What sense is there in that?

In contrast, “blessed is the man that trusteth in the LORD” (v. 7). “He shall be as a tree planted by the waters,...and shall not be careful [i.e., anxious] in the year of drought, neither shall cease from yielding fruit” (v. 8). Why? Because his “hope the LORD is” (v. 7). We see the warrior—one who might be considered strong—trusting solely in the true “strong man,” the Lord.

It is a tragic fact that even many Christians fall into the mindset of the autonomous humanist and attempt to live their lives (even “the Christian life”) under their own power. Do we trust in our own feeble power or in the Lord? Every heart, whether humanist or Christian, “is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?” (v. 9). Make no mistake! “I the LORD search the heart” (v. 10); He knows our inner motives. Let us recommit ourselves to trust in the Lord and make Him our hope. JDM

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blackmuzak8484 · 3 years

Text

nortey dowuona’s best of 2020

to be completely honest, I decided to do this entirely for TSJ. otherwise, I wouldn’t have bothered at all. Best end lists are for music nerds and billboard chart nerds and industry vultures, and i happen to be subscribed, in the discord and in the comments of the youtube vids of these folk. so, i decided to pick 10 out of random from the big best of 2020 i was compiling for the whole of the year, which I was gonna post to this Tumblr at the end of the damn year, but I guess I can just post the link to the playlist in the bottom of this post. Here, i’m gonna write about 10 songs I personally love, and pick out a few artists i specifically loved:

artist of the year.

RAP Ferreira put out his best album and best verses in a year everybody either stagnated, fell off or got rendered irrelevant by the world at large. He was ebullient, hilarious, thoughtful and even surprisingly honest. I enjoyed the fact that now he’s begun to create a real platform for many talented folx, and I hope he continues to do that in the margins and make even more beautiful music in the years to come.

rookie of the year.

Enny by a mile. Everybody else who debuted this year got hamstrung by the pandemic but she created 3 great songs, each thoughtful, insightful and a joy. Apparently she just started publicly releasing music to a large audience, and I hope she gets better and better, and even gets bigger than J-

most pleasant surprise.

Vic Mensa’s V Tape. An artist who I though had no more moves left completely turned around his whole career with a fantastic performance at Lollapalooza, a fantastic fleet of features and tis gorgeously produced EP which had some of his most brilliant songs on it. I love it all, Vic Mensah is well and truly back. Welcome back bro. (ALSO, DROP THE DRILL TRACK.)

GREAT THING A GHANAIAN ARTIST DID.

Strongman Burner, Amarae, Okunta Kinte, Vic Mensah in general.

cool things my friends and classmates did.

Justine Darcenne’s #4TheBaeless. Valencia Rae’s Siren thyhomebodies’s Coming of Age. (Phil, a producer in the group, made his own studio!) Brad built his own computer. petit abri put a track on APT9 Record’s compiliation album Volume II. khaalid anderson’s transitions. (khaalid will also be performing at Beats & Brunch on January 23, 2021 at 11 am.) Yannick Paul’s Bear Fruit. The Big Climax’s This Is Ya Boy kxng jetson’s Waves (ft. Kokko Williams & Mike Mezzl) Nicole Gonzalez performed in The Composer’s Melody. Victoria Marie released a bunch of beaufiful covers on her Insta, @toriiii_marie @ph0ssy_jaw works as a counselor online. Pay her at her PayPal. Johnny Aperano Yoba was on People AND Vogue. Dalitso is a wonderful pianist at his church back home in Zambia. Kobina is a fantastic drummer at his church. Kayla graduated with a BS in Music Technology and Industry! Damian been cookin on his insta. Travis graduated! (Look out for Clan of Dragons.) Rorghino Flores made a documentary! Francis (and Animax FYB) put out Mmofra on AmaLexPrime! (play it with yo kids.) A Hype has been dropping crazy all year, roll by his SoundCloud and check out Persistence Of Memory. Reina H been doing great covers on her Insta, @challenges_inlife. Hannah placed music on C. B. S.

best albums of the year (that nobody’s written about).

Maya Huyana -1991 DaWeirdo - Broke and Ugly $ilkMoney - Attack of the Future Shocked, Flesh Covered, Meatbags of the 85 VI Seconds - Because Why Not/Never Knows Best Erik Cain - Heart & Soul Vol. 2 Dimitri & the Scarecrow - Messenger is Sender (from 2015, finally got released onto streaming this year, still pretty great and another great Zimbabwean rapper for us to all fawn over, just like billy woods) Flowking Stone - Gifted 1 The Hoodies - Incommunicado Jayy Grams - Every Gram Counts Domo Genesis/Mike and Keys - Just in Case1/2 Madwiz - God’s Gold Teeth Maez301 - Hasaan Daara J Family - Yaamatele Dai Burger - Dessert EP TeePhlow - Road To Phlowducation II Tef Poe/Blvck Spade - Preacher in the Trap Terrell Hines - Portal One: The Mixtape redveil - niagara Nyukyung - Trap Harmonix AdrianXpression - Sucka Deante Hitchcock - Better (Deluxe) maassai & jWords - ve.loc.i.ty tobe nwigwe - cincoriginals everything Kelsey Lu did this year.

strangest things happening in music in general.

vic mensah actually making a great record. goldlink going through a narcissistic collapse and winding up making the best music of his career. redveil blowing up off Fantano calling him wack. pharoahe monch finally making a rock pivot and it actually works. meet me@the garden coming 10 years too late for my 14 year old self. RAP Ferreira being in the NYTimes, selling a vinyl record for $72, creating an actual nostrum grocers in a video game so we can listen to his next record. The entirety of the playboi carti phenomenom. The entirety of the lil uzi vert phenomenom. The entirety of Chance’s instagram EP being far more money worthy then the entirety of the Big Day and yet being released on Insta and not immediately monetized. Deante Hitchcock releasing a great album and being completely forgotten armand hammer releasing their underground kings wayyy too early. my ass continually not actually looking into amapiano despite always loving it when I review it. several good songs needing to be tacked on to a prior youtube vid as an ad for me to find them instead of actually listening to the artists. santan dave still releasing good verses after he made his illmatic. (expect his new album to suck.) slowthai becoming cake. (we let that go way too far.) Guapdad and BfB Packman being wonderful. Finding out BfB PAckman is a better rapper than Sada Baby. John Boyega putting on Ego Ella May. Having to admit Young Dolph was good all this time and i missed out like a fool.

best tv performance.

Chance The Rapper’s “A Chi-Town Christmas.” IDK’s “Change The Channel.” Sa-Roc’s Tiny Desk Concert. Chika in general. Robert Glapser’s “This Changes Everything (ft. Denzel Curry).” SZA at the Roots Picnic. Sampa The Great at the Roots Picnic. RAP Ferreira in general. Umi’s “Introspection Live Show.” Alexa Esperanza’s cover of “Is It A Crime.” Bad Bunny in general. the jwords, nappy nina and MIKE performances at Satellite Syndicate

most embarrassing piece of music i love with all my heart

Logic’s No Pressure. In all sense of the words I should not love this album like I love my siblings but I do. It is beautiful.

best 10 songs of this year objectively

1 - RAP Ferriera - An Idea Is A Work Of Art (ft. Mike Ladd) [prod. by Kenny Segal, mr. carmack and Mike Parvizi]

I know, I know. In all honesty Doldrums should be here. Then Noz put it on his best list and I had to be all ChiTown Go-Getter and pick the next better thing: this. And in all honesty, it has the best lyric RAP spits on the album: “we build better answers.” But it’s not just that, it’s RAP’s most animated performance, the most dexterous piece on the whole album and the most gorgeous beat, a loping bassline sliding behind the flatfooted drum, allowing Mike Ladd, his musical father, to gently drift through, saying, “what if royalty depised us?” and knowing the only gold is soul and giving it to all of us, all us maggots and vultures and locusts and weevils, to hold to the light so we can finally see. On the quest to get open and free, we continue.

2 - Chika - U Should [prod. by Lido]

I heard this the night it dropped and shot 2 insta videos playacting as it played. But apart from that, it’s a intimate, beautiful song about getting to know a new lady love, so tenderly sung it might melt and disappear if not held gently, with a sweeping guitar lick and purring trumpets sliding all over the place, Chika softly holding each frayed piece together into a considered, gorgeous piece - wait, she’s talking her shit.

3 - Issa Gold - Boys Don’t Cry [prod. by Kingjet & Sherwyn and Matt Zara]

The only reason this isn’t number one is because it dropped on Christmas Eve. But otherwise, it’s a openheart letter to us all. “it’s a lonely path being different,” Issa says, swimming in the melted ice caps as he once danced happily on the edges of melting glaciers that failed to drown him, looking at the world that keeps hurting his heart, yet he still opens his eyes and smiles, and dances. The heavy drums are so bouncy the whole song suddenly flies, formerly a hidden murmur becoming a bright sunlit flight across the sky so we can all see. I can’t wait to see Tempus, if it’s anything as good as this was.

4 - Deante Hitchcock - Growing Up/Mother God [prod. by Brandon Phillips-Taylor]

In all honesty, “Growing Up” is really not the best song on Better. It’s a sweet, happy song with a smooth, crackling bassline with soft, ghostly synths, but still kinda ok. It’s the song added at the end, “Mother God”, that has warm, sizzling piano chords and gorgeous singing in the back. It’s one of the few time I’ve ever heard a man pay homage to the woman in his life and to the God above while being entirely sincere and not faking the funk. The way he praises his mom, his lady, remembering the women in his family taking care of him and him foolishly neglecting Breonna due to his overburdened mind feels full of details, remembrances, explanations and praises. Plus, it actually makes sense that God, if she exists (she does) is a woman since -

5 - Yana Perrault - whiskey and weed [prod. by slate]

Apparently, Yana Perrault is verified now. Excellent. {YES YES MY GOD YESS}, It means more folks know about how great this song, and Yana herself is. If I had any sense, I would’ve written up 12:21 as the best song of 2018, but such is life. Anyway, we have this smooth, bass heavy slinker with shimmering percussion and lumbering drums about hooking up with a former flame who’s “sober” yet keeps on calling Yana to break their sobriety, “know we ain’t talked in a while but you still know my address,” she wryly mentions. As the beat sprints away under a warm cocoon of accapella echoes, it mirrors a relationship so tenuous it might disappear into the wind. Yet still strong enough to have whiskey on call.

6 - Marlon Craft - Culture Sick Freestyle [prod. by Cormill]

Apparently this was supposed to be a shot at Flex. And since Flex is a woman beater and a lame, good for him. Shouldn’t have even gone on Flex to be honest, but then again neither should Jay Critch or Tyler or Black Thought and besides, I watch those freestyles too. And on the freestyle, Marlon frankly put things in perspective. “You don’t want us to better, you just want to be cool still.” This describes all of rap media to be real. And tellingly, it only has 310,000 views. Methinks nobody really wants real. But I do. Thank u Marlon, you continue to be the best white rapper alive. (Nowhere near the best rapper tho, and if Token hadn’t fell off -)

7 - Miah - Cascades [prod. by Cedes]

I’m sideeyeing the boy Miah cuz I had to search up his Audiomack to find the producer’s name (it’s Cedes, and they have a really great avalanche of Drake Type Beats is you like that kind of thing). Were you trying to trick folk into thinking you produced it yourself? You don’t need to do that shit. Especially since you’re writing stuff like “back in high school all my peers were tryin to hit the league / until the league too far from reach so they tap dancing over beats.” When you can frankly break down life that clearly, don’t be trying to hide producer’s names unless you actually learn to produce too. Plaster your name all over that shit.

8 - Justine Darcenne - Off Days [prod. by Mikhail Miller] / Enny - Peng Black Girls (ft. Amia Brave [prod. by Paya]

Justine is indeed my classmate, but that’s not why this song is here. it’s here because it’s a nice little guitar driven song with a spellbinding bridge that’s the best thing I’ve heard her do yet. And I’mma keep it short cuz I already wrote this up at the Singles Jukebox.

Enny released this soft, cushiony record with washed out synths over bulky drums and floated FLOATED over them without even trying to run in the tar, saying frankly, “He said to me, 'they put guns in the streets, that’s what they wanted for me.’ And I said, ‘G, someone can fix you a plate but no one can force you to eat.’” After all, why not try to live for something greater than what the world has expected you to be. And Amia sings, “We’re gon be alright, ok?” with the joy and excitement of someone realizing the words coming alive on their tongue. One of the best songs of this miserable year, and it’s kinda funny watching Jorja accidentally Drake out Amia and even Enny (and by funny I mean irritating.)

9 - Tobi Lou - okay (ft. Dreezy) [prod. by Matteo Woods & Dilip]

Fun fact: Dilip did some great songs with Otxhello, a producer who recorded and mixed 2 records on my first album. That again is not why this song is here. The warm, swinging synths and heavy, bouncy drums are why this is here. Oh, and Tobi’s goofy, silly lyrics and his surprisingly effective Missy Elliott tribute are great too. But obviously, the verse that vaulted this into top 10 was Dreezy, which opens with such a openhearted line, “i can’t help it, it’s too hard to say I’m sorry.” And every line is harder than the last, until she closes with “and I ain’t talkin frontals but we got the city sown up.” Absolutely amazing.

10 - Strongman Burner - Pilolo (ft. KelvynBoy) [prod. by Nixie]

The sweet, gooey synths are poured over the soft, zipping and smooth drums as the wiry bass whirls between Kelvyn’s soft, thin crooning as Stoneman tap dances over the drums, both desperate and defiant, trying to salvage a sinking relationship that he knows is already gathering coral and snappers. It’s the best afropop song of the year and yet it still has a Nigerian on it (well, I put 4 Nigerians on here, next year I’m rectifying that.) And they even did a song together last year , not as good as this. At all. (still pretty good tho.)

best 10 songs i love (but not enough to write full paragraphs for, I already put 10 in and this is already 5 goddamn pages)

11 - Logic - Heard ‘Em Say

best song on the project that isn’t Dadbod but at least it isn’t tempting fate.

12 - Deqn Sue - Creep

I already love this for having a gorgeous bridge, and is cute af. Yes Sue, you can creep.

13 - Quelle Chris & Chris Keys - Sudden Death/ka - i love {moms, mimi, kev}

QUELLE CHIS CAN SANG SANG./ka can heart heart write.

14 - IDK - Square Up (ft. Juicy J)

I don’t know why this is here either but this slaps regardless.

15 - Nappy Nina - Modestly (ft. Maassai)

Maassai is creating some of the best raps out here. so is Nappy Nina.

16 - Kehlani - Lexii’s Outro (ft. Lexii Ajaii)

Let’s celebrate our great rappers when they’re alive (and this includes me. Pls Chika, don’t win Best New Artist.)

17 - Samad Savage - Goodnight

What Travis Scott should’ve tried to be instead of what he is now. Samad still dope af regardless.

18 - Bad Bunny - Si Veo Tu Mama

The way Bad Bunny actually hits that last note makes me feel so excited and alive.

19 - Fat Tony - Back In The Saddle

I fucked up. But I’m getting back in the saddle, back in the saddle next year. NO NIGERIANS ALL NIGERIENS. #ENDSARS tho.

20 - Lady A - the truth is loud

Why am I the only one who has this on a best list? I have 34 bot followers. Vibe, step it up.

best of 2020 music right here folxs.

worst music things of the year:

The Pop Smoke album. Just in all areas. (Better win that Grammy tho.) Travis Scott in general. (So loud and empty and boring.) Big Sean’s Detroit 2. (why does this exist? Just put out Deep Reverence and Detroit Night Cypher and leave everything on the cutting room floor fo the next album.) Remembering all the great rappers who are dead or incarcerated. No Kendrick album (just leaks. Not good enough.) J. Cole and Noname beefing and Noname getting strung up by twitter. Jay Rock pushing being anti-vaccinations. The realization that Normani might never drop a single record ever again. Tory Lanez in general. Joyner Lucas making actually good songs and falling off almost immediately. Cardi B in general. Anything positive being said about steven Universe songs. Luzamity shipping (until it’s canon please stop! Willuz is RIGHT THERE!)

#rap ferreira #best of 2020 #the singles jukebox

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ginnyzero · 4 years

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Completely Harmless Ch. 23

Completely Harmless An SSO SilverGlade Re-imagining Story (Or Fix it Fan Salt fic) By Ginny O.

When Lily and her friends wanted to buy horses and were directed to the Silverglade Manor and its myriad of problems, they didn’t expect to start a revolution. They were just a bunch a stable girls. Completely harmless. Right?

A/N: Things are only canon if I say they’re canon. Pre-Saving the Moorland Stables compliant for the most part. Posted in its entirety on my website. Posted in 2000 to 4000 word bits here. Rated T for Swearing Word Count 177,577

Chapter Twenty-Three Mr. Fussywithers

Bjorn was in charge of drilling the holes in the wall for the dynamite sticks to go into. Then they’d put the sticks in the holes when he was done, attach the wires, run the wires out towards the road or under the bridge towards the Moon Garden, wait until everyone was out of the way, and then detonate the charges.

So, first, this meant making sure that they had fences set up to keep people out. Good thing Bjorn had thought ahead and kept some of the fences that G.E.D. had been using.

“Waste not, want not,” he said in a matter of fact voice.

They set up the fences to his specifications. Then he gave them hard hats. “All right ladies, while I start drilling, what you’re going to need to do is get some wheelbarrows. I’ve got the truck parked. You’re going to load up the wheelbarrows, then load up the truck. When we’ve got a full load, I’ll take it off to the track site to make into concrete later.”

They all nodded as if this made perfect sense. They jogged off to get shovels and wheelbarrows that had ended up scattered around the garden from their efforts of clearing off the weeds.

“Better get the rakes too,” Pauline said.

“Brooms for the dust,” Stacy murmured.

They came back with barrows full of tools.

Bjorn wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. “Gotta put your back into this to do it right.” He told them with a grin. “Right, the first holes are drilled. Let’s see that dynamite.”

They pried open the boxes with a handy pry bar and some hammers retrieved from the stable.

Bjorn picked it up and examined. “Looks like the stuff. All right, what we’re going to do is cut it down so it doesn’t explode too much.” He brought out what could have been a cigar cutter and showed them how. “Mind your fingers. Wear your gloves.”

They blanched and nodded rapidly.

They cut the first sticks down at his direction and inserted them into the holes he’d drilled into the rock. He showed them how to attach the wires and then they wound the wire out towards the road where a couple other girls had been sent to set up the blast box.

Attaching the wires to the blast box, they were forced to find a hat and fill it with names to see who would press down on the handle and send the first electric spark. Brittany won.

Agnetha and Bjorn moved clear.

“Fire in the hole!” She shouted and gleefully shoved the handle down.

The spark went along the wires and at first there was a puff of smoke, then the dynamite exploded, shaking the ground and breaking up the rock in a great burst of dust, tiny shards of rock, and smoke.

They cheered. Even if they weren’t entirely sure what they were cheering for.

Bjorn chuckled. “Whelp, this would go faster if we had a better way to communicate.”

“James’ walkie talkies!” Lily said.

“James has walkie talkies?” Regina asked.

“Oh, long story,” Lily rubbed her forehead. “I’ll go over and borrow them with a bit of blackmail.” She rolled her eyes. “If he wants help with his photography project, he’ll loan us those walkie talkies. I’ll be back!”

“Photography project?” Elsa murmured.

“I’m not sure if I want to know if it’s James,” Stacy said in a soft voice.

They all had to agree on that, but Pauline having sat through the meeting regaled them in detail about James’ current antics. Bjorn supervised the filling of the wheelbarrows, stopping them before they were too full. “This is rock, not weeds and dirt, girls.” He reminded them.

The girls all reacted in various degrees of outrage and shock about James as they pushed wheelbarrows half full of rock. (Completely full could be too heavy and Bjorn didn’t want them making it too heavy.) They worked together to heft the barrows into the truck and dump them out before going back for more. This was definitely at least a five person job.

Lily crossed her arms and looked down at James. “I’m singularly unimpressed.”

“I need them,” James gestured with his hands.

Lily raised her brow. “To continue your scam with Mayor Peanut?”

James flushed. “You don’t understand. The tourists love him.”

Lily sighed. “James, did it occur to you, I don’t know, that entering a pony into the race for Mayor was a bad idea?”

James shifted on his feet. “I didn’t think anyone would vote for him.”

“Which says a lot about the lack of quality of candidates around here,” Lily looked around. Pia was in an argument with some of the vendors it looked like. Lily wasn’t sure if she cared to know.

Pia’s voice drifted over. “If we clear this area of shops and combine your goods, then we can attract tourists with an art fair or performers!”

“Right,” Lily muttered. “I’m going to stay out of that one. Look James, you seem bright.”

James blinked. “Seem?”

“Until you start trying to defraud people. Which, by the way, is a crime.”

James blinked rapidly.

“So, your schemes could get you in a lot of trouble one day after someone starts looking at you and doesn’t see kid.” Lily patted her horse’s neck. “Then, you’ll lose everything you’ve gained.”

James opened and shut his mouth.

“But you’ve got ideas, and some of them are pretty damn good ideas.” Lily met his eyes. “If you want them to succeed at being good ideas, you’re going to have to put the work into them.” She wrapped the reins around her hand. “We’re willing to help you. Not do 99% of the work for you.”

James flushed. “But I’m not a photographer.”

“Then, dear God in heaven, why did you think that taking photographs of Token was a good idea and not giving Pia the credit she deserves?” Lily’s voice turned tart. “If you think Pia is that great of a photographer. You have an idea, James. But Pia, by all rights, can take whatever plush she likes, run around South New Jorvik County herself, and publish a book so her name will be on the cover, and she gets the royalties if she’s going to be the one doing the work. Getting a publisher and an agent before you even had the photography is,” Lily trailed off. “Talk about putting your cart before your horse to use a Jorvik appropriate metaphor.”

“All right. All right. I get it. I messed up.”

“I think you owe Pia an apology about thinking her work and labor is worth so little.”

James gulped. “What do you mean? How hard it is to pose a stuffed animal and snap a picture.”

“Oh James,” Lily sighed. “For a professional quality picture, there are going to be hundreds of photos and thousands of shots and experimentation with the time of day and the shutter speed and what about the posing, hats, no hats, scarves?”

“Oh,” James pushed at his glasses. “I didn’t think of it like that.”

“And she’ll have to figure out a way to protect your plush, or else Token could get really dirty.”

James’ eyes widened. “Uh,” he bit his lip. “I don’t want him to get hurt!”

“And neither would she, so she’d have to take extra care that he doesn’t.” Lily raised her brows. “You’re getting a reputation as a user, James. And well, someone who’s dishonest. And that’s going to get around and run away business.”

James sputtered.

“So, I suggest you come up with a story like Mayor Peanut has laryngitis and let me borrow those walkie talkies and we’ll come up with a way to salvage your abysmal reputation. But it will take work on your part and some sincere apologies to your fellow business community members.”

“You don’t understand,” James whined.

“You grew up poor. Got it.” Lily snapped.

James jumped. “How?”

“You’re a grifter, James. That was the next tactic, some sob story to make me feel bad for you, so you wouldn’t have to change a bit.”

James flushed.

“Now, you can continue to play the small game, or you can play by our rules and see the bigger picture. That starts with being a good citizen helping out the representative of the Baroness.” Lily held out her hand and opened and closed her fingers.

James sighed. He pulled the walkie talking out of his back pocket and slapped it into her hand. He marched over to Peanut the pony, and dug the one out of his hat. “I already lost money from Ferdinand because of Pia’s meddling.”

“James,” Lily said in a low voice. “Honest, upstanding, member of the business community, that is your goal. Eyes on the goal.”

James handed her the second walkie talkie. “It was a good deal.”

“For you,” Lily looked down her nose at him.

“Ferdinand got what he wanted,” James whined.

“You weren’t exercising them. You were renting them out to tourists who may or may not know how to ride properly. That’s a recipe for disaster and it won’t come back to Ferdinand. It will come back to you. If people get seriously hurt riding horses that haven’t been trained or exercised properly before being taken out, then they could sue you for lots of money.”

James sputtered.

Lily lifted her chin and raised her brows. “You can’t have a stable and have it be empty.”

James shifted on his feet. “I don’t have money to buy horses.”

Lily crossed her arms. “Then perhaps you’re going to have to keep renting from Ferdinand until you do and not try to steal people’s money with ridiculous fines in order to buy said horses.” She pulled her phone out of her pocket and hit speed dial. “Linda, this is Lily.” She smiled. “Yeah, I know you have caller ID. Hey, I’m sitting here in front of James, and he doesn’t have the capital to buy horses from Ferdinand at full price. Are there any yearlings left that you sold to us?”

James stared at her.

“I’ll bring him along and you can help him pick out some nice, docile, good for beginners, easily trainable, trail riding horses,” Lily said. “Thanks Linda.” She turned off her phone. “Okay, Jamsie, here is the deal. The horses at the Silverglade Equestrian Center are 350 Shillings each since it was a really good or bad year depending for foals. The bad news is that they’re all three year olds and are still settling into their personalities. The good news is that with the right training they won’t have any bad habits to undo. You can rent ponies for the kids from Ferdinand until you start making money. You’ll have to pay someone like Pia and the girls to train them to be good trail riding horses, but you’ll have your own horses. They’ll need to be fed, exercised, the stable cleaned. Oh, wait, you have a club here. So, pay them to help you.” Lily waved a hand at Pia.

Pia ran over. “Hey, Lily.”

“Lily, I’m taking James to pick out some of the yearlings at the Winery to be trail riding horses here. Linda and the Baroness are willing to give him the same deal they gave to us. The caveat being that someone is going to need to look after them and make sure they’re being fed quality food and given clean water.”

“I’d never!” James yelped.

The two girls gave him a look.

Pia pushed her hair back. “I think that the girls and I are going to take up a collection and buy into your stable, James. Just to keep you honest.”

James sputtered.

“The more people, the more responsibility gets spread around,” Lily said lightly. “And the more hands to do the work.”

“And we’d have vested interest that way in training the horses,” Pia nodded. “We’d also have a place to board ours and the fees can come out of our salaries.”

James opened and shut his mouth as Lily glared at him.

“The fees will be standard market rates,” Pia said. “Which, we’ve been researching.”

Lily smiled. She held out her hand. “Up you come, James. I’ll give you a call, Pia, when he needs help herding them back.”

“Herding?” James said. He stared at her hand. “I, um, don’t really know how to ride.”

“Well, then we’ll have to teach you. Can’t have a stable owner not knowing how to ride,” Pia quipped. She smiled at Lily and it was rather evil.

“We’re taking a transport,” Lily said. “It is what, three hundred feet.”

James took her hand and she helped him swing up onto the back of her horse. “It won’t be long. I’m sure Linda is sorting the horses out now,” Lily told Pia. She nudged her horse into a walk.

“Why is it so far down?” James gulped.

Lily sighed.

“I’ll have the money ready and we can do our transaction at the bank when we get back,” Pia said sweetly.

“You trapped me,” James accused Lily as they rode past the stone wall and out of Pia’s hearing range.

“You trapped yourself,” Lily said. “If you’d been honest and above board from the get go, it wouldn’t have come to this.”

James frowned. “Then I wouldn’t be making any money.”

“No. You probably would have made more because people would have relied on you to be a good trader. You don’t know how much money you’ve lost because you’ve given people shoddy goods and they’ve gone to someone else,” Lily said. “I doubt you’ve had a lot of repeat customers.” She urged her horse into the horse trailer.

The engine started and the truck pulling the trailer drove slowly away. They could see the countryside passing outside the windows.

James didn’t say much. “Why are you doing this for me?” He asked quietly, in a very small voice. “I upset your friends. You called me a user and a fraud.”

“Because, I think with the right guidance and the right people around you, James, that you can be a good force for this county.” Lily glanced over her shoulder at him. “You want to succeed. You want Fort Pinta to succeed. You put in the best you’ve got and do the work. And we’ll be here helping every step of the way, because we’re stronger together than we are apart. Don’t view the Pony race as competition. Don’t view the Fort Pinta Beach Party as a rival. Those are opportunities to help Fort Pinta and Jorvik grow. If someone rents a pony from you and go and does the pony race with Penny and Polly, that’s not a loss, that’s a win for Fort Pinta and South New Jorvik County as a whole. The more money they spend, the more money goes into the County and the better everyone can live.”

James grumbled.

“Other peoples’ visions may be different than yours, it doesn’t make them wrong,” Lily said evenly. The transport pulled to a stop behind the S.E.C. stables. The door fell open slowly, the electronics whirring.

Lily backed her horse out and rode through the arch stopping under the dome.

Linda came out of the sell side. “I think I’ve got them sorted. Howdy James, I’m Linda. I’m friends with your sister, Alex.”

“I know,” James ducked his head.

“You first,” Lily said.

James slowly got down, not entirely sure how to do it. “So, about these horses.”

“You have a race and also rent for trail rides, right?” Linda said. “These are good racing horses, and also are trainable enough to be trail riding horses. I’d send someone out with them that has experience though.”

Lily cleared her throat. “Pia is the President of the Fort Pinta Pinto Ponies Club and they’re willing to buy in. They can lead the rides. I need to take these walkie talkies off to Bjorn and Agnetha for our tunneling project.”

Linda nodded. “I’ll show him the horses.”

Lily rode off quickly.

Linda put her arm around James’ shoulders. “How many scoldings have you had?”

“Three, so far,” James slouched.

Linda pursed her lips. “All right. Consider yourself scolded a fourth time. I’m doing this for Alex, James. Because she loves you and wants to see you succeed.”

James gulped.

Linda tugged him into the stable to look at the horses. She explained their finer points to James as they waited for Lily to return.

By the time she did, one of the stallions had taken to James, playfully grabbing his hat and running off with it. Linda laughed and said that James had made a friend, that the stallion was definitely his horse. Or he was the stallion’s human.

Lily leaned over. “Isn’t that Fussywithers?”

“Yep,” Linda chortled.

Fussywithers was only a nickname, because the young stallion as fussy and finicky. His water had to be absolutely fresh. His food just right. His stall perfectly clean and pristine. There was no margin of error with Mr. Fussy.

Lily giggled. He was the perfect horse for James. Funny, how the horses that everyone found were the ones they needed. She dialed up Pia and told her to come get James and his new best friend.

FOR THE ACCOMPANYING IMAGES PLEASE DO NOT REMOVE MY WATERMARK AND CONTACT INFORMATION. THANK YOU. I get it. Some of you might get excited and want to see this stuff in the game, especially the clothes, tack, and pets. However, the only way I want to see this in the game is if I get paid for it. If I see it in the game and I’m not paid for it, there will be hell to pay. You think I’m salty. I’d be angry. Personally, I’m not going to send this info to SSO. If you do, leave my contact information there! Don’t give them any excuses to steal.

Now, I’ll know you haven’t read this note if you leave me comments about how ‘salty’ I am about the game and if I hate it so much I should do something else. I am doing something else. It’s called Mystic Riders MMORPG Project. Mystic Riders however is a very baby phase game. You can check out our plans on the game dev blog. (Skills, Factions, Professions, Crafting, Mini-Games, 25+ horse breeds!) If you know anyone who would be interested and has money or contacts about game making, direct them to the blog.

#star stable #sso #star stable online #fan fic #jorvik reimagined #star stable salt #completely harmless #silverglade reimagined #many nods to Ruth Westside

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done-mer-moved · 4 years

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i Also don't know ur OCs but: 1, 4, 5, 8, 15, 22, 23, 24, 25, 33, 42, 50, 54, 56, 61, 73, and 78 please? -drunkmiraak

[[LKdghlkj sorry this took so long!! I got super sick so it sat half-done in my drafts for 84 years. @drunkmiraak]]

Oh boy oh boy oh boy!

So, while I’ve got half a billion OCs by technicality, my main idiot is Azaryne Redoran who takes the role of the Vestige in the ESO story I write with @sinnaroll by the name of Soulbound. (Ima also just casually pass on these questions for her to answer in reply for D'tannen, who is the other main character in this thingy so you can get to know him too!)

Thank you so much for asking!! Here we gooooo~!

1. What is/are your OC’s nickname(s) and how did it come about?

Az’s main nickname is the self-explanatory name shortening from “Azaryne” to “Az”. But D'tannen has kinda stuck on jabbing him with “pretty boy” to the point where it’s basically a nickname lol

Also, in-game plot reasons dictate that the Five Companions also know him by “Vestige”, much to his dismay. It’s what the Scrolls named him by, so the Prophet tends to slip and refer to him that way, and the others kinda do too by proxy for a while. However, after Az makes it clear that he’s really uncomfortable with it, Lyris and Sai specifically make a point not to call him that.

4. What is a noticeable physical attribute of your OC?

So I memed twice earlier before I got to these questions lasdgkh gomen, but my goofier answers are Dorito Shape and Resting Trouble Face

But more seriously, one of his major notable physical features is that he’s pretty much covered in tattoos from his neck down past his waist and starting down his legs. They’re being redesigned from scratch right now because I can’t ever allow myself to have characters that can be adequately represented in game i guess lmfao but here’s the in-game tattoos with some photo-editing for an earlier visual draft on where they might cut off—

It’s a total personal headcanon but I decided that since the in-game body marking style was pretty clearly influenced by Maori-style kiriituhi, that Az’s tattoos are also highly significant in a similar way. Each piece symbolizes or connects to either his ancestry, or his own life and skills and milestones. His designs weren’t finished, but have the indication of where they were meant to continue as he hit new points in his life. Unfortunately, since his life was cut so short, that’s as far as they ever get.

On a lighter note, he also has pretty big ears?? Lmao

5. What does your OC normally wear? What would your OC wear on a special night?

He likes clothes that are comfortable but flattering. He knows what his assets are and enjoys looking well-dressed – a bit of a remnant from his previous life as a noble.

He tends to favor sleeveless tops and cool-colored fabrics with neutral accents. He particularly likes blues of all shades, and some purples. He’ll also occasionally wear red. On his travels he wears leather armor that fits within these features, and notably has a Khajiiti-style jack because he liked the aesthetic of it when he saw the style in a tailor’s display.

When he’s dressing up, he’ll wear more flowing robe-like attire. He had more reason to do so while he was alive, and at the time it was usually specifically Dunmeri cultural clothing. Over the course of Soulbound, he only dresses up the once so far for a date with Sinna. That takes place in Orsinium, so it’s Orcish formal wear.

Even if the situation’s not a fancy one, though, he’ll usually still wear kohl eyeshadow, which D’tannen gives him shit for, of course lol.

8. How does your OC talk/what does your OC’s voice sound like?

Az’s voice is light, crisp, warm and friendly. It’s between tenor and baritone in range, and the expected Dunmeri accent. He’s well spoken, and you can tell he’s well educated, but his phrasing isn’t snobbish or condescending, and there’s a firm sort of sincerity to his speech, even when he’s being playful.

15. What was your OC’s childhood like?

Az’s childhood was a little complicated in that it came with a great deal of privilege, but also a great deal of expectation. He was noble-born— the eldest son of House Redoran’s Archmaster— so before he was even old enough to have an awareness of the world, his parents had already decided many things about his future.

In spite of both this and the constant pressure of the Redoran philosophy that “a light, careless life is not worth living”, Az had an untamable spirit that continuously tried his parents’ patience. As a child, his impulsivity, tendency to bend the rules, and headstrong defiance on points he fundamentally disagreed with led to frequent discipline, and a particularly strained relationship with his father.

Over time, he begrudgingly learned to play by the rules, but would still disappear from time to time for brief moments of freedom.

He had two younger siblings— Eralane and Meril, and they had very close and loving relationships with each other. Az always did his bes to see right by them, so they felt safe in knowing that he would always have their backs. They didn’t ever keep much from him, as a result, and Meril specifically often looked up to him as a role model.

By the time he was fourteen, he’d been arranged into a political betrothal to solidify clan relations within the House, and it was decided that the two would be married in 16 years when they were both fully grown adults. Neither he nor his intended fiancée were really comfortable with this, but even as young as they were, they knew it was a sticky situation far bigger than just the two of them. So, they quickly established that, future aside, they didn’t feel entitled to each other’s feelings. They would both rather have a straightforward, honest friendship than try to force things between them.

Because of this, there was no tension when other chemistries developed in later years. Instead, they continued to ignore their inevitable marriage, and turned their performative date nights into formally-dressed vent and gossip sessions. Using the expectations put upon them to their advantage as they got older, they also happily became each other’s alibi when either of them needed time away with other people.

22. Who is/are your OC’s closest friend(s)?

Since arriving back on Tamriel, he’s been shuffling company a lot on his journeys. He’s also pretty introverted, despite being fairly socially adept. He doesn’t have any real connections from his previous life anymore, but has met many people and made casual friends and positive acquaintances with a solid chunk of new ones.

In terms of more serious friendships, D’tannen is honestly the closest, which is kind of incredible honestly laksdhg. But, they travel with each other day in and day out, so there’s a tight bond there that’s developing fast.

He’s also particularly attached to Irvane, who was his first friend since coming back to Nirn.

23. Who are the people your OC surrounds him/herself with?

Along the same lines as I just said above, he’s never in one place for very long right now, so he is constantly around new people. His kind heart and need for hands-on activity means he tends to gravitate toward people he can help in some way or another. His empathy and sense of honor do most of the weeding. He’d rather be around someone who has shown good intentions, even if they are rough around the edges, than someone who rests on the laurels of past deeds and judges others against themselves.

24. Who are the people your OC dislikes/hates?

It’s pretty damn hard to make this list, at least if you have any sort of good bone in your body. He’s really very empathetic and patient, and will forgive so quickly once he feels amends have been made that it’s honestly gotten him into trouble.

But, even with that said, he’s got some strong resentments for some strong reasons… Notably: Mannimarco and his Worm Cult, ol’ Molag Bal himself, and pretty much anyone who allies with them… Malacus is another name that quickly finds its way on the list under “kill unflinchingly” as he becomes closer with D’tannen.

25. If your OC has a soulmate, who is it?

oh my god im so sorry this joke is just right here its too easy to grab i can’t help myself –

Doesn’t a soulmate require… a soul…?

33. What subjects interested your OC?

He’s always done whittling as a hobby, so he’s currently kinda advancing on that in woodcarving. Since he was also trained in maintaining and repairing his own weapons and armor in life, that’s carried over into an interest in actually crafting weapons on his own. He does wind up making his own bow way later on, and even spends a bit of time with the Morkul Orcs in the Orsinium arc learning to do some metalwork.

42. What makes your OC happy?

He’s very attached to his dog Blackjack, and the mutt can always seem to pick him up when he’s otherwise faltering. He loves whittling and tends to carve little objects to occupy his mind. Complicatedly, D’tannen makes him happy as well, lol.

He also tends to have moments where he finds happiness in specific things, but the emotion related feels strange or misplaced. When this happens, it’s usually because whatever he’s experiencing— a particular sight or smell or flavor— is something that ties directly to a positive memory he’s lost from his life before. A sort of unwitting-nostalgia that’s hard to pinpoint or replicate.

As a general rule, he’s pretty easily contented. He lives very much in the moment, which combined with his adaptability and natural optimism, means that he’s usually able to find some small spark of cheer for himself anywhere he goes. He’s always wanted the freedom of life as an adventurer, so if circumstances were different, this would honestly be an ideal life for him. However, it’s pretty dampened by the stress of current events, along with the nagging restless and hollow feeling of having lost his soul.

50. What secrets does your OC have?

This is a bit of a tricky one. He’s not a super open person, but he also doesn’t like to lie to cover things up. However, there are many things about his life at present that he finds he has to dance around giving knowledge of. In some ways, the very nature of his current existence is something he keeps tucked away. It’s not very easy to explain to anyone, so he’s grateful that for the majority of the people he interacts with, direct questions never really come up.

In the second act of Soulbound, however, after he becomes very close with Sinna, Sinna asks him directly for his story. He dodges it for quite some time before finally giving him the details, but he’s kind of nervous at that point to state it. He doesn’t know how Sinna might react. But, he lays it out on the table anyway: He’s not truly alive. He’s what remained of himself after he was sacrificed by cultists to Molag Bal. His soul was stolen, and he has only vague pieces of memories from when he lived. And now, he’s been prophesied to assist in stopping a daedric invasion.

Sinna’s response was heartfelt. But, nobody could blame him for the fact that all he could manage for a brief moment after listening was “Wild….”

54. Does your OC think with his/her head or heart?

Heart… His upbringing tried its best to instill an ability to detach for the sake of duty, but honestly, he’s never been able to. Even when he knows there’s no way he can avoid a difficult situation, and is able to approach it tactically, emotion will be gnawing at him all the while, and he’ll be completely staunch on the things he believes the most if those interfere with the “logical” course of action.

56. What are some of your OC’s strengths?

He’s honestly got a wide range of skills in a lot of ways. He’s a highly skilled archer, and has a very well-rounded set of combat and survival skills that have been hardwired into him since a very young age. He’s also got a great sense of aesthetics, which he likes to express in woodworking and whittling when he can. He’s intelligent, but a lot of his skill specifically in emotional/social intelligence comes from his powerful empathy, and how dramatic swings of circumstances in his life have given him many perspectives to draw from, even subconsciously through the massive amnesia he struggles with. He’s incredibly adaptable. He’s intensely loyal, courageous, and firmly optimistic even through the worst circumstances. He’s got an incredibly strong character to him, and it tends to be both charming and inspiring, even when he doesn’t recognize that he’s producing these effects himself.

61. What is the general impression your OC gives other people?

Honest. Empathetic and selfless. Good-natured, down to earth, and a bit wild-spirited. Patient, incredibly forgiving. Helpful. Playfully charming. A protector. A defender of good.

73. What is your OC’s favorite form of entertainment?

He likes art, stories, nature, animals, and adventure. Crafting from time to time as well.

78. What is your OC’s favorite time of day?

Late morning. The point in the day when you’re up and awake and setting off. The whole day lies in wait before you, and you’re ready to meet it

#eso #the vestige #dunmer #redoran #the elder scrolls online #drunkmiraak #thank you again!! <3 #az #azaryne #soulbound

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frcmashes · 4 years

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featuring: hope mikaelson, landon kirby. hon. mentions: william halliwell, lizzie saltzman tagging: @chosenlonely summary: hope tells landon that she has feelings for someone else. surprisingly enough, all hell doesn’t break loose.

hope mikaelsonLast Monday at 6:26 PM

so, her door is still broken. she doesn't know why she hasn't fixed it yet. it'd be a flick of her wrist, a mumbling of a spell, and that'd be that. but it feels too simple. it feels too much like settling back into a normalcy that's intangible now. ( like maybe, if she's meticulous enough, if she acts like nothing ever happened, if she's careful about where the cracks were, no one will ever notice. except .. she will. and lizzie will. and god, it's not fair on landon to expect him to accept the damages. ) she's sitting on her bed, thinking over how the openness is a good metaphor, when she hears footsteps. " hey. " he makes her want to smile just by being around and she has to accept she's going to lose that feeling. ( she'll be fine, she wants to convince herself. maybe even take lizzie's advice. not everyone leaves. ) " you'll never guess what happened today. " she has to curb the ease that wants to overtake her, remember what lizzie told her. she, at least, draws the line on going over to meet him. " i'll give you three guesses. "

landon kirbyLast Monday at 7:48 PM

when a text comes through that says we need to talk, it's a surefire sign that something's up. even still, he tries not to jump to worst case scenarios as he heads to hope's room. he should be studying for a test they have the next day, but he's sure no amount of studying is going to help him now. it's too late, his mind already stuffed with about as much as it can handle. thoughts of the test fade away when he sees the splintered door frame, eyes widening as he crosses the threshold. " uh. " he looks between her and the door, using context clues to fill in the blanks. " either the monster of the week busted your door down, or lando's way stronger than i thought he was. " another glance. " krypto strength levels. " he's pretty sure it's not the latter, so his stomach churns at the thought of yet another monster coming after them.

January 21, 2020

hope mikaelsonLast Tuesday at 8:23 AM

she's learnt that the worst things are quiet. it's only natural that she's responded to the worst moments in her life with aggression, with violence, with noise. it filled the space, stopped her rampart panicked thoughts. it's self-preservation at it's finest. except ... this time, with landon making jokes about mysteriously strong dogs and showing up, she knows it's not possible. and equally, that it's not what she wants. for the first time in her life, she's going to have respond to quiet with quiet. ( if she's being stripped of all of her comforts, all of her coping mechanisms may as well fall to the floor beside them. ) a smile cracking, though she can't help if it seems insincere. not quite reaching her eyes. " as much as i'd love to have a dog who could do all of that, " would she? questions for another time. " i guess malivore's spitting out monsters again. " that wasn't something she'd missed. " this time it was a croatoan. " she's halfway to the truth.(edited)

landon kirbyLast Tuesday at 9:33 AM

it's guilt that he feels. right off the bat, it hits him square between the teeth and he flinches. right, the monsters were back. he knew that, might have forgotten to mention that fact when he'd gotten a little preoccupied with the existential crisis that came along with seylah re-entering his life. " i know. " his gaze is apologetic, shifting his weight from foot to foot. " some octopus monster came after me last week when i was walking lando. i meant to tell you, but -- " in truth, he hadn't been sure how he felt. it seemed impossible to tell someone what was going on in your life when you weren't entirely sure you even knew. " seylah's here. my mom. " a sentence that he never expected to say. " she killed it. " he shakes his head, hating the guilt and the dread that gathers in the pit of his stomach. everything with malivore makes it flare up, like a fever you can't shake off. " are you okay ? is everyone okay ? " there's concern in his gaze, crossing over to her so he can see for himself that she's in one piece.

hope mikaelsonLast Tuesday at 10:03 AM

he mentions monsters, and malivore, and how he meant to tell her but ... ( she's struck by how they've both been keeping secrets stuck in their separate crises of confidence. ) guilt is an emotion that was already sitting in the pit of her stomach, in her chest, every time they spoke and she kept everything to herself. first seylah, now lizzie. she isn't sure when she got a reputation for keeping secrets from her boyfriend. ( and she's definitely sure that it isn't one that she wants to uphold. ) she shifts on the bed, despite herself, despite self control, and moves closer to him. " seylah killed it. " god, if today is the day for honesty, she might as well come forth with all of it. if the croatoan walks through that door again, hungry to destroy more of life ( a process she set in motion ), she'll be defenceless. she doesn't know if it sounds revelatory, or just quietly accepting. ( an international assassin known for killing monsters. she wishes she had just been honest now. ) " i'm fine. everyone's fine. "

she feels awkward in the space, instead of reaching out for his hands, placing her own on her legs. " but, " inhale, exhale, focus, " the croatoan - the monster that was here today - is basically a venus fly trap for secrets. " she doesn't why it makes her smile, the absurdity of the situation and her nerves blending together. " it almost killed me for how many i've been keeping. " she deserves to feel guilty, he deserves honesty. " that trip we took to kansas wasn't for nothing. we met your mom. " it feels unconvincing, her shoulders shrugging high. " the reason none of us remembered is because she found the portal before we could stop her. i don't know why. " she doesn't know why. wishes she did. " i never forgot her. and no, i don't know that either. " she wishes she did. it would make all of this easier to explain. " i am so sorry, landon. "

landon kirbyLast Tuesday at 10:15 AM

he joins her on the bed, figures if they're unpacking heavy, guilt-inducing secrets, he should probably be sitting for it. he notices how her hands don't reach for him but doesn't think anything of it, not when his mind's preoccupied with what she has to say. a few weeks ago, he thinks he'd be angry; hurt that she hadn't told him something that important. except now, maybe he gets it. he's met seylah, looked in her eyes and found out some truths he's not quite sure how to stomach. if she threw herself back in that pit, well, maybe -- he doesn't get it, but he does. ( maybe she was just trying her best. trying not to hurt him. he's hurt anyway, but that's the thing about good intentions -- sometimes you can try your best and people still get hurt. ) he swallows hard past the lump in his throat, nods his head once. a venus fly trap for secrets. wow. he's kind of glad he missed that one, not so sure he'd want to announce to the world some of the truths he's been clutching. " i know why. " it's said quietly, like he's afraid to give life to the thoughts churning inside of him. " or -- i can guess. i don't remember, so i can't be sure. " that must be how he'd lost the picture. seylah took it. he wants to be angry, but he thinks he's just numb. " she never wanted to be a mother. it was -- " ah, nope. he cuts himself off, decides to spin it in another direction. ( he's scared of what will happen when he says it out loud. ) " turns out, you're not the only person in the room who's had their dad referred to as the great evil. " his smile is tight. " i know who my dad is. " a lengthy pause. " malivore. "

hope mikaelsonLast Tuesday at 10:43 AM

she shifts further towards him when he joins her, one leg falling under her to turn to him. she still yearns to touch him, can't think of a time she hasn't, but keeps herself checked. ( caught up in what he deserves. ) she wonders, waits in a space, for a few moments as his reaction forms. she'd understand if he was upset, even more if he was angry. ( that is, of course, how her own emotions register. ) she exhales when he starts to speak. i know why. she really hopes, prays, that what's about to come out of his mouth isn't going to be self-deprecation born out of a conversation with his mother. ( she can face her, recognises seylah's faults and tries to encourage her to be there for the person who needs her. especially because she's still haunted by the fifteen year old version of herself, begging her father to love her. )

" landon ... " it's sympathetic, but not interrupting. she's going to let him talk, let him air all of this out. especially if this is the last time he gets this safety with her. ( it's her responsibility, after everything they've built, to give him that. ) about his father, - a revelation she will quietly wait for - about them, about everything. and then, all of her plans fall dead before her. malivore. ( she's going to break all her rules. ) it's instinctive, shifting to hold both of his hands in hers. " hey. " she doesn't know if he's going down the same path she often does, doesn't know if he's questioning who he is and who he can be. doesn't know if he's talking himself out of the person he is to protect everyone else. but if his smile is any indication, there's a part of her in him.." listen to me. you are not your father. " she doesn't know if telling him will make any difference. but she tries. ( unlike before, all her face shows now is unflinching sincerity. fight. ) " and yeah, monsters are probably going to keep coming. " god knows why, but they'll keep going. " and we are probably going to have to deal with your mom, a and malivore. " protecting him from that reality does no good anymore.

" but last time i checked, " her hand shifts from in his to on his cheek, too gentle for her original intentions, " you're the person who told me our parents sins don't define us. " evil is relative.

landon kirbyLast Tuesday at 11:03 AM

he looks up when her hands cover his own, no longer trying to pointedly ignore her gaze. in ways, he's been stalling this conversation because he knew she was the voice of reason, would remove the filter of bias that clouds his vision when it comes to introspection. it's easy for him to say that she's nothing like her father, like the great evil they write about in history books, but somehow it's not as easy to stomach when the mirror's turned around on him. ( he's a hypocrite. he acknowledges it, doesn't know how to not. ) " i can't believe my own words are being used against me. " he cracks a smile, a real one this time. he squeezes her hands, sucks in a breath. " logically, i know you're right. we don't get to choose our parents, or our circumstances. " he certainly wouldn't have chosen the cards he was dealt. " ... but every time a monster shows up, or someone gets hurt, " his vision darkens. " it's on me. " his fault, his responsibility. so far they've been lucky, no one's gotten seriously hurt, but what happens when they do ? he thinks it's selfish, staying here when his presence puts people in danger, but he doesn't know where he'd go either. he has people here, people he loves -- people who love him. is it more selfish to stay, or to leave ? ( he's thought about this a lot lately, gone back and forth so many times it's like whiplash. ) " dr. saltzman kicked me out before -- maybe he was right. ". he pulls his hands back, rubs at the back of his neck the way he always does when he's anxious; when he's about to do, or say, something that might be stupid. except he's already done that, said the very ghosts of thoughts that have been haunting him the last month. or at least, the kohl's notes version. some truths, some revelations, should never see the light of day.

" i'm sorry, i didn't mean to unload all of that onto you. " a weak smile's flashed, his back straightening as he clears his throat. " guilty conscience, i guess. " a lopsided shrug of one shoulder, fixing his gaze back onto her again. " -- you wanted to talk to me about something ? i'm assuming it's not monster related. " it would be easy to assume that it was, that the truth monster would feed off the unspoken truths between them, but there's a nagging prickling at the edge of his rationale that says there has to be more.

hope mikaelsonLast Tuesday at 11:23 AM

" hmm, get used to it. " it's good advice, wise advice. they are nothing like their parents, not even if the most haunted things stay with them in the middle of the night. ( she shouldn't, however, be telling him to get used to anything. ) her smile is real, mirroring his, squeezes his hands back. ( she loves him, she really, truly does. she simply doesn't love him alone. ) she shakes off his admittance of blame, his accountability, as null and void. " no, it's not. " she's a hypocrite too. " dr. saltzman sent you away to protect you. not to protect us. "

she doesn't know if he's noticed, but they're a school full of supernatural witches, werewolves, vampires and all things in between. " and we might be in the middle of an apocalypse, " monsters engulfing them with the barrier down, mystic falls probably grateful for the reprieve, " but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice yourself to stop it. " she'd do the same, if it were her. that's the whole problem. she understands where he's coming from, understands this yearning to protect the people he loves. she needs to work on it. ( maybe he does too. ) " we'll figure it out. all of us. " because that's what they always do. he diverts the subject, pulls his hands back, and she feels the anxiety that's become familiar start to cling to her. " don't be. " she shakes her head again, offers him a smile in reassurance. " i'm not. " she's not sorry he walked into her life, she's not he's malivore's son either. ( the only part she's really, truly, sorry about is what she has to say now. ) " i know the feeling. " a breath, swallowing around the truth as he had. now it's her turn to spill everything.." and that's actually what i wanted to talk to you about. " it's moments like this she's reminded why she doesn't like herself with words. they never come out right, she can never quite conjure them into the speeches he's capable of. seeming effortless and romantic and wonderful. that's just not who she is. " when the croatoan attacked today, lizzie was here. " her heart is pounding. rip the bandaid off, quick and easy. face the rejection, rebuild her life. ( listen to lizzie's advice. not everyone leaves. ) " and uh, she was in danger. and i got so scared, and it wasn't leaving. and i had to tell her everything. " rip it off. quick and easy. " i'm in love with her, landon. " it still doesn't taste right. does no one any good. " and that doesn't mean i don't love you. " she doesn't think she's ever talked this much in the quiet. " and it's not about you, or about her. it's not like i was trying. i just, " she doesn't know what she's searching for, " it just happened. " she's rambling. and not in a good way. " and i am so sorry. "

landon kirbyLast Tuesday at 11:53 AM

he wants to believe her. he wants to believe that he should stay, that he belongs here -- that he's part of the team. maybe not an integral member, he's more hindrance than help, but he knows now what he's capable of. ( his alternative self might have been a dick, but he's proof that he can be something more. something better. ) there's a light at the end of the tunnel, some glimmer of hope; of maybe one day, no longer facing malivore as an imminent threat. he wants to believe that, so for today - he does. ( it might not last. he might waiver, change his mind, but for now he ignores the voices in his head telling him to run and decides to stay. ) " all of us. " he repeats it with a nod, like it's a mantra that'll lead to their salvation. " together.". of all the truths he was expecting, all the possible scenarios he could have imagined, this wasn't one of them. he's stunned into silence; which, in a way, might be worse than being angry. he wants to be angry, he does, but it's hard to be angry with someone you love. " you love lizzie. " he repeats it, acknowledges the way he leaves out one of the key words. in. she's in love with lizzie. he doesn't like the way that tastes in his mouth, bitter and unfriendly. " you -- " he breaks off again, confusion clouding his processing as he opens and closes his mouth a few times. she loves lizzie, but she also loves him. there's a part of him that wonders, in a moment of darkness, if he's being punk'd. maybe will thought it would be funny, to catch the look on his face. except, no, none of them are that cruel. he has to believe that they aren't because if the people he loves are that cruel ... maybe he's never really known them. he swallows hard, fingers picking at the skin around his thumbnail as he works it over in his head. ( he can't look at her. he doesn't trust himself. not yet. ). there's a part of him that feels responsible. no, culpable. maybe he was't there for her, wasn't enough, and that meant she needed more. it's not like he knew what he was doing, or even how to take care of himself let alone anyone else. ( he's projecting; if he blames himself, maybe he won't have to blame her. or no one. who do you blame in a situation where everyone loses ? ) " how long. " it's murmured at first, not quite a question. finally he looks up, clears his throat and asks again. " how long have you been in love with her ? "

January 22, 2020

hope mikaelsonLast Wednesday at 9:42 AM

there's something off about hearing her truth out of his lips. yes, she does love lizzie. yes, she is in love with lizzie. but, no, it's not the same as loving him. she loves him in a way that makes her believe she could forever. with lizzie, it simply feels ... inevitable. like their whole lives, through chambers of miscommunication and resentment and lies, they've been supposed to get here. simple course correction from her faults, and lizzie's faults, and the world that kept them apart. loving lizzie is so different to loving landon. ( she wishes she could tell him that. could work through the differences and encourage them. tell him that as long as she has both of them, however she has both of them, she'll be okay. but, at this point, she isn't sure that's going to make any difference. ) " i do. " she loves them both. she can't choose, as though a choice particularly mattered. if she chose lizzie, she'd be choosing to wait. to put all of her loneliness on a person who's already found the antidote to hers. if she chose landon, she'd be choosing to lie to him. and they didn't lie to each other. ( not after everything. ) she doesn't know what else to offer, the truth on it's bare bones before them. any placation she offers, any differentiation she makes, she thinks will only help in the aftermath. as they speak, she thinks, they're still wading through the rubble. ( hence the door that's still lying, in pieces, on the ground. ).he asks her how long and she has to consider it for a moment. she's distracted by the movement of his gaze, hope flaring in her chest, wondering if this is a good thing. wondering how long it has been. she supposes lizzie's always stood out to her. as a person trying to get close to her first, and then an enemy who'd finally given up on her. and now as her best friend. she supposes that she's wanted to love lizzie for a long time. that love simply transcended boundaries, and definitions, now. ( it's just course correction, she thinks. but she doesn't think explaining her long and winding history with lizzie is going to do either of them any good. ) when she first became conscious that the way she looked at lizzie was different, though, she can pin point that. " after i slept with her. " after he slept with will, after they did a harmless, teenage thing. at least, it was supposed to be.(edited)

landon kirbyLast Wednesday at 10:16 AM

the answer he gets is both the one he wants, and the one he doesn't. if she'd known before, if they'd gone into that night on uneven footing, he thinks it would be worse. can he really be mad about this ? about something he happily went along with ? he's not sure. he's equal parts confused and upset, but the anger hasn't really registered. it would be easier if it had. if he was angry, if he could cling to it like a shield, maybe it could protect him from the inevitable crash. ( his walls came down around her and he isn't sure how to throw them back up. the dust crunches under his feet, reminds him why he fought. ) " okay. ". is it ? okay ? he's not sure. maybe it's because there's so much uncertainty in this confession; he's not sure what he's wading through, where any of the other moving parts fit into this equation. is lizzie in love with her ? if she is, where does this leave will ? leave him ? there's uncertainty in the unknown and that's what he hates about all of this. the unknown, of not knowing where he stands -- what this means. " does she -- " he pauses, rephrases. he's upset, but this is still someone he loves. hurting someone else because you're hurting just makes everyone lose. ( today, he chooses to keep fighting. he won't throw in the towel just because it's hard. not unless the fight's truly, and welly, over ) " is this -- are you breaking up with me ? " that's the question he needs to know, isn't it ? if this is a storm they're weathering, or if she's bailing out as the water comes rushing in. " are you and lizzie -- " he breaks off, can't really find the right words, but he thinks she'll know where he was going. she is, after all, someone who's always managed to see right through him. he assumes that hasn't changed. ( or has it ? he doesn't know. ). it dawns on him, in the pesky way that only regrets can, that while he was having fun -- she was falling in love. it's ironic, makes him want to laugh even though it's not funny. he does love will, felt some type of something from the very minute they met, but it was never like this. maybe in another life, in a world where there was no hope, no lizzie, but that wasn't the world they lived in. except for hope, it is. he can't hold it against her, knows the heart sometimes wants what it wants regardless of your best intentions, but can he live with it ? live with knowing there's someone else in the equation ? always wondering when the other shoe will drop and he'll end up alone ? that's what he's unsure of. that's what plunges his veins with ice water, sees him resisting every urge to run so he's not just another C O W A R D afraid to face the truth. ( he's been running for so long. maybe it's time he finally stopped. )

hope mikaelsonLast Wednesday at 11:40 AM

it's not okay, she knows that. intellectually and rationally she can recognise, if the roles were reversed, she'd be running for the hills. ( she wouldn't even know where to begin. ) she knows he could too, that he has before, but she chooses to take the fact they're both sitting in carefully elected silence as a good sign. he pauses, rephrases, recalculates, and it's odd to watch. she doesn't suppose she's ever really seen him fail with words. ( if this is stripping even their most basic inclinations, it's a cue of what they have to face. ) for once, she has to take his place. put everything behind honest sentiments and hope for the best.

in an odd way, asking if she's breaking up with him is a relief. " no. " she shakes her head, longs to reach out and grip his hands ( physical intimacy, actions are louder than words ) and simply lays her hands between them on the bed. an invitation for a more appropriate time. ( she's always worked in inches. push and pull. ) " the last thing i want to do is break up with you. " or be broken up with. the following question is undeniably painful but it's the kind of pain she could learn to live with. lizzie didn't reject her, or leave her. she isn't planning to. she isn't loved romantically, but she is loved. and, despite what her initial heartbreak would cue, that's enough. " we aren't. " she assures, and is surprised by how steady her voice sounds.." she loves will. and i'm okay with that. " she isn't, in some epistemic sense of what they could have had, but she is now. in their world. she'll have to be. ( right now, the wound is too fresh and she feels too of the situation to hope for anything else. ) " she's my best friend. " there's an unspoken statement within the title. she's going to be around. lizzie may not love her, may never love her, but she's going to be here. always.

landon kirbyLast Wednesday at 12:09 PM

when her hands move, there's a panicked part of him that thinks it's too soon. she'll reach, he'll flinch, and a chasm will open up between them. he doesn't want that, and he could practically cry when she lets them rest between them. god, this is why he loves her. why even right now, even in this period of confusion and uncertainty, she still knows what he needs; or what he doesn't. there's a ghost of a smile on his face, hands coming up to cover his face for a moment as he takes in a breath. this calm ... it's exhausting, if he's honest. he knows it's a choice, that he could easily work himself up -- yell, scream, hate, but who does that help ? what does it serve ? he's been on the receiving end of that kind of ' love ' in the past and he knows that's not healthy. it's not okay. ( this isn't okay, but he thinks they will be. ). he nods his head once his hands fall away, they drop into his lap as he organizes his thoughts. " i don't want to say this is okay because it isn't. " he has to be honest, even if it's hard. " but we always said we wouldn't lie to each other. so as awful as this feels right now -- i'm glad you told me. you didn't have to. " she could have sat on it, could have let it fester until it exploded at an inopportune time. that, he thinks, would have been worse. maybe irreparably so. " i guess i'm just confused. i don't know what this means for us. " he sucks in a breath, realizing that at some point he's stopped looking at her. he needs to see her now, meets her gaze and searches. he doesn't see any half truths, or things left unsaid. nothing that screams ' trouble ' and makes him want to run for the hills. ( though, he does acknowledge, it might have been easier if he did. the right thing and the easy thing are hardly ever one and the same. ). " i don't want to break up. " he wasn't entirely sure of that, not until he says it out loud. " but, " this is important, something he needs to say. " i don't want to wonder if things would be different if lizzie wasn't with will. " he doesn't want to be anyone's consolation prize. they both deserve better than that. " or wonder why i wasn't enough. " he thinks it has to be the intensity of this conversation, of the variety of topics covered, that gives him the courage to say; to not cower, to say what's on his mind and to not let it remain unsaid for god knows how long. " so if you need time to figure that out -- to be sure, i can wait. " he's not running. he's not going anywhere. " i just need to know we're ... on the same page. " or at least in the same book. he's not picky. he can acknowledge that there's a lot to unpack here, more than can be processed in a single conversation, but he's trying. he's trying because he loves her, that hasn't changed. ( he'd said he'd fight. so he is. )(edited)

hope mikaelsonLast Wednesday at 1:28 PM

staying, as with everything, comes in different forms. she's had people fight for her, barter for her, die for her. she's simply never had anyone ... stay for her. it's always seemed so literal to her. her father god knows where for most of her life, her family spread across the globe. sent away to a boarding school she didn't know how to adjust to with people she'd never met. ( she'd come to call them family, but she couldn't have known that then. in fact, she doesn't think she really knew that until recently. ) she knows that's why the word feels as rooted as the act. if crisis was quiet, deafening silence, then staying was loud. and vibrant. in her mind, at least. sitting here, ultimately in careful silence with the boy she loves, when he has every reason to leave ( even if there isn't a door to slam ), makes her realise she's been wrong. she always knew that emma, and dr. saltzman, and her parents, were right about her. she was damaged, and scared, and she internalised it and forced it into something powerful. anger was a weapon from a woman who could destroy villages on a whim. ( her aunts words chimed in her mind often ; people like you and me, we can't get angry. ) she thinks all that anger she's been holding onto - the anger that exploded onto lizzie before she imploded - turns her into a person she isn't certain she wants to be. she still needs to make peace with her parents ( and her culpability in their deaths ) and her family. but landon, even if he ran, even if he stole a knife, even if she sent him away and he went ... he's never left her. it's taken recognising not all victories are celebrations to recognise that. ( god, she loves him. )." i wanted to tell you. " that much is true. because they don't lie to each other. she might value that now more than ever. she can't blame him for anything he says next. confusion is better than anger, and it's a hell of a lot better than fear. she hopes like hell it stays that way. he continues, she waits. he doesn't want to break up, she doesn't allow herself to relax yet. she waits, and she listens, until she recognises she needs to take time to think of this. she doesn't want to be away from him, wait to be sure, about a reality that doesn't exist. ( her dilemma earlier ; choosing between them. she stands by her conclusion. it doesn't matter. she can have them both. )

she should do the unselfish thing. let them settle, let them recognise who they are to each other. if he can wait, so can she. ( but god, she doesn't want to. ) she takes a few moments, thinks about her answer, because she can't underestimate how important it is. " i don't want lizzie at the expense of you. " it sounds contemplative, like she's reached the only conclusion that makes any sense, as she meets his eyes. " and i understand if you need to take some time too. " she does. they're both staying. ( she hopes. ) " but i didn't fall for her because you aren't enough. " quite the opposite actually. he may have happened to teach her love didn't always end in tragedy. she wants to shift closer, but she doesn't. she simply keeps her hands as they are.(edited)

January 24, 2020

landon kirbyLast Friday at 4:38 PM

he’s never known a love like this. never ��looked at someone and knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that they were meant to be in his life. he’d thought maybe it was fate, the universe throwing them into each other’s trajectories because they were soulmates -- but maybe there’s more to it than that. maybe it’s not fate, not some cosmic intervention that they have no control over. maybe love is a choice; choosing not to run. choosing to stay. choosing to fight. ( i’ll always be the guy who fights, he’d said once. it’s a promise he isn’t looking to break. ) so he listens, really listens, and nods his head to ensure she knows; he’s not jumping in impulsively, disregarding the gravity of their situation. he knows that this should be a death sentence, a final nail in the coffin of their relationship -- so why isn’t it ? why isn’t he running ? why does he stay ? it’s easy. it’s not even a question, not something he needs to think about or dwell on. there were no nails. no red flags. one nail won’t keep the lid closed, won’t end the story before it even gets a chance to blossom.. he’s holding on because he has no reason not to. she’s never given him any reason to doubt her before, so why would he start now ? ( honesty, he’s learned, isn’t a trap; it’s salvation. ) so he doesn’t hesitate as he shakes his head, his hands finally seeking hers out. he laces their fingers together, squeezes twice. he knows with absolute certainty that this is what he wants; was there really ever any doubt ? maybe the easier option would be to leave, to throw distance between them and try to protect his heart. but does breaking your own heart to stave off future heartbreak ever really work ? whether by your hand, or not, the heartbreak stings all the same. ( why be miserable when you could choose to not be ? it’s a gamble but the best things in life often are.. ). “ i think i should move back into my old room. at least for awhile. ” it’s never been official, his presence here. he has his own room, cobwebs gathering on the bed posts as he spends his nights in hers. he isn’t ready to let go, but he rationalizes that a little space might not hurt them. could even be good. healthy. “ slow things down, a little. while we figure all of this out. i can’t say it’ll be easy, or that i won’t be jealous sometimes, ” better to be honest, ensure they’re on equal footing. “ --- but i love you. ” that’s important, needs to be said. “ that hasn’t changed. ” he offers up a smile, swallowing hard past the lump in his throat. “ ... and it’ll be okay. ” he believes it, means it whole heartedly when he says it. “ we’ll be okay. ” he can follow her lead, proceed in these uncharted waters together. in truth, he needs her -- need to be with her, knows she’s a calming influence when he feels like he’s one misstep from tumbling over the rails. he likes to think they balance each other --- drown out the demons, guide towards the light. ( yeah, it’s a choice. not one he’ll regret. )(edited)

January 25, 2020

hope mikaelsonYesterday at 3:45 PM

at the end of the day, she's optimistic. she knows that's far from her natural state, that she's been a pessimist pretending to be a realist for a long time now. ( really, she thought being left was an inevitable reality. perhaps thats where her ' realism ' came from. ) and she knows that she could never call this a good thing. it hurts two of the people she loves the most, carves a hole in her own chest to set her insecurities alive. it's not a good thing by any means, but it doesn't feel quite so ... crippling either. she feels safe. despite the fact there is a croatoan still running around, likely ruining lives and collecting secrets, as they speak. despite the fact she still has to fix her damn door. she looks at landon, notices how he laces their fingers together like he misses her just as much as he misses him, and realises that okay her life is pretty far from ruined. it's hit a speed bump, an unexpected complication, but it didn't crash. ( hopefully, it isn't going to when they turn around the next bend either. ) she still has a best friend, she still has a boyfriend. and, more importantly, she still has lizzie as her best friend and landon as her boyfriend. ( selfishly, she's kind of glad she's able to love them both. it's not a good thing but, one day when the dust of immediate revelations has settled, she thinks she'll be grateful for the ability to love two wonderful people at the same time. she's lucky that way. ).her smile isn't swayed by landon's suggestions, because none of them seem like leaving. because, even if they did, she knows he isn't. she squeezes his hands in return, twice, as she watches him. ( just for a moment, as they talk about the future as a certainty, she lets herself remember how in love she is. ) and sure, she isn't super excited about the prospect of sleeping alone more often, even less at the jealously she knows she can't deny, but she thinks that's a normal reaction. they're going to adjust, not change. that's what's important. " i think that's a good idea. " she could make a joke, ask about which nights she's allowed to stay over, ask about who lando's staying with, but she thinks it has to come up organically. when landon's ready to resume being the way they were, when they both are, they'll know. ( she's really looking forward to that. ) " i love you too. " she would usually kiss him at moments like this. when she doesn't trust herself. she's just going to have to get better with words. " and i know i can't ask you not to be jealous, but i can remind you of that. " that hasn't changed for him, he promises. " that hasn't changed for me either. " she doubts it ever will..we'll be okay, he tells her, and she truly believes him. not because she has blind faith in landon kirby, not because she loves him. but simply because she's thought actions speak louder than words ( hence her persistent preference for physical affection ) and he's sitting here with her. still sitting here with her. not angry, not rash, not throwing out everything they've built. talking to her. landon is staying, despite everything she's told him. that's why she believes him. ( and, more certainly, she thinks that's why she trusts him too. )

#( interactions )#( hope )#tw: ugly formatting

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cameoamalthea · 6 years

Text

So I took this Dark Core Personality test (which was less edge lord than I thought it would be) and scored 31.89% lighter than average. OP scored 26.11% darker and because tumblr is forcing me to see all the comments on this thread (not just comments directed to me based on my reblog - seriously tumblr why you do this?) I see a lot of darkness.

I wonder how people are scoring that way?

So I thought I’d take a moment to think about the questions. All 45 of them: under the cut

1. I deserve more than I currently have in life.

I said strongly agree, because while I’m grateful for what I have I’d like to be a bit more financially stable/to be able to pay back the family that have helped me.

I don’t think it’s wrong to agree with some of these (average is agreeing to a lot of these things). Most things are about balance.

It’s good to have self esteem and self worth, to say that you deserve happiness/good things/to succeed and grow.

2. I might be willing to take a punch if it meant that someone I did not like would receive two punches.

I don’t really understand this question and strongly disagreed. Why get myself hurt just to hurt someone else. I don’t really want to see anyone get punched. It just seems petty and mean.

3. Some people have to be treated roughly because they lack feelings that can be hurt.

Again what? How could anyone even think this? Everyone has feelings that can be hurt and no one has to be hurt. That’s awful.

4. If I opposed the election of an official, I would be glad to see them fail, even if their failure hurt my community.

I was neutral on this one, because I don’t understand how an elected official failing would hurt my community. If I oppose the election of an official it’s because I think their success would hurt my community. You vote for who you think will have the best policies right?

I don’t get it.

5. I would be willing to pay more for certain goods if other people I did not like had to pay even more.

This seems stupid, petty and unfair. I don’t see why you’d want to hurt people you don’t like...I may not like everyone but I don’t want to see anyone hurt.

6. It is important to me that I am more successful than others.

This I agreed with strongly. It’s a fault I have and I know it. I want to prove myself as ‘worthy” I guess. Good enough. Not a failure. Because I always felt like it was somehow my fault I was never adopted/treated like a daughter by my guardians. Sometimes I wonder if I’d somehow been more lovable they would have wanted me. So I think if I’m more successful than average/do something amazing, then it would be proof that I’m not worthless?

I know that I shouldn’t compare myself to others. It’s not effective to compare yourself negatively. Life isn’t a competition and if it were a race, it wouldn’t be a fair one since we all start in different places. I should focus on my own happiness and appreciate my achievements relative to how far I’ve come not to anyone else.

Still, if I’m honest, I have to strong agree even if I know it’s a fault.

7.I like to pick on losers.

What the heck? I wouldn’t want to pick on anyone.

8. It’s okay to lie since you never know who you can trust.

No, it’s not okay to lie. I think if you’re seen as honest and trustworthy then people will give you honesty and trust in return.

9. I can be really nasty when I take my revenge.

I don’t want revenge

10. Payback needs to be quick and nasty.

Again, I don’t need revenge or payback. (If anything if others hurt me I need to accept that it wasn’t my fault/I didn’t disserve it)

11. I fantasize about extraordinary prestige.

This is a strong agree, unsurprisingly. I want to be loved, and prestige would mean a lot of people would like me or my work. That would feel good.

12. I use insincere flattery to get my way.

Nope, I do use sincere flattery to be nice to people. People like compliments and it’s good to be nice.

13. I use lies to get my way.

Nope.

14. I should not have to deal with trivial matters or the humdrum of everyday life.

Isn’t the humdrum of everyday life what life is? I like life? When I was a kid I dreamed about just having a normal life. I think we should all appreciate it.

15. I have enjoyed hurting someone physically, sexually, or emotionally.

No, I would never want to hurt someone. Although I was with a girl once who liked it if I bit her and it made her happy when I did it. I don’t think that’s hurting someone if you’re making them happy. Even if it is, I didn’t enjoy hurting her. I enjoyed making her happy.

16. People see me as especially worthy of admiration.

No way, I can’t imagine being worthy of admiration.

17. I deserve to have great things come my way in life.

Strong affirmation, which is a good thing for me given my issues with self esteem and feeling like I deserve bad things/don’t deserve good things. It’s not selfish to have a healthy amount of self esteem and self care.

18. It’s okay to lie if it’s the best way to handle a situation.

I’m honestly really honest. To the point of being too blunt and hurting others feelings.

19. I honestly feel I am just more deserving than others.

Big no to this one, I don’t deserve more than anyone else and I’m sure there others more deserving than me and it’s been a lot of work not to feel like I’m I just less deserving than others

20. It is sometimes worth taking a little suffering yourself if it means that others will receive the punishment they deserve.

Again with the punishment. I don’t want to hurt anyone. I don’t believe in punishment per se, I believe in consequences and that consequences come from the individuals actions. It’s not something I want to have happen to others, it’s something that does happen/should happen because justice and fairness demand a certain consequence to certain actions

21. Most people don’t really care about others.

That’s not true, I can’t believe that

22. Taking something without the owner’s permission is okay as long as you’re just borrowing it.

No, it’s not. Borrowing requires permission. Consent is the difference between what is permissible and what is criminal (note how permissible has the same root as permission). People have a right to their belongings, and even if you give it back, using it without consent is still conversion. If you take a car and go joy riding and intend to bring it back, you’ve still stolen a car.

Yes, there some things you might feel ok borrowing without asking because it’s a small thing and they wouldn’t mind, then chances are you’d be ok with stealing that thing (i.e. a pencil). Otherwise, you shouldn’t take without asking.

23. I look down on people who unwisely share their secrets.

No, in fact I’m very open and share everything. I don’t have secrets.

24. I refrain from telling people the real reason I did something unless it is useful to do.

No, again I’m very honest and open. I want to be understood. I don’t really stop to think about what’s useful.

25. I only obey those laws that seem reasonable to me.

No, everyone is bound by the laws. Doesn’t matter if the speed limit could be faster you shouldn’t speed.

26. I often have fantasies which involve hurting people.

Big no

27. There are no right and wrong ways of making money, so much as there are easy and hard ways.

God that sounds terrible. Like they’d do anything to make money. Do you know how many terrible ways people can make money?

28. I can get so angry that I want to hurt people.

Big no, I don’t get angry often and when I do I don’t want to hurt anyone.

29. People who get mistreated have usually done something to deserve it.

No, big no. That’s not true. People get mistreated who have done nothing to deserve it. Usually that’s how bullying works.

30. My own happiness is more important than that of the people around me.

Nope, and this is another flaw of mine. I tend to put everyone else first.

31. Compared to other bad things people do, stealing something small from a store isn’t worth worrying about.

No, it’s still stealing and it actually hurts the store’s bottom line (they keep track of items that go missing, called “shrink”) and if the store is hurt/loses money then that can hurt the people who work there (hours, even whole jobs, cut to save money).

32. Most people would probably enjoy hurting others if they had the chance.

No, I can’t believe that’s true

33. If I had the opportunity, I would gladly pay a small sum of money to see a classmate whom I do not like fail a job or exam.

Again, I don’t want to hurt people. One this seems like paying to hurt someone which is wrong. And making someone fail when they don’t deserve that. It’s not fair and it’s not right.

34. I expect special favors from others.

Nope

35. I keep track of sensitive information that can be used to hurt people at a later time.

Of course not, I don’t want to hurt anyone.

36. I spend a lot of time looking for opportunities to achieve higher social status.

Nope, I’m ambitious insofar as I want to do well but I don’t spend a lot of time on it. If anything it makes me anxious to ask for things so even applying for jobs was hellish and I hate networking events. It feels wrong to talk to people just because you want something from them.

37. People like me deserve more perks and advantages than the average person.

No, again, my natural state is to think I don’t deserve anything but I’m working on that. But even then, no one deserves to be treated better than anyone else, that’s not fair.

38. Hearing others praise me is something I look forward to.

Big YES for this one! I like to feel like I’m going a good job and I need the validation.

39.I am especially motivated towards making friends with important people.

Not really, I want to make friends with everyone because friends

40. I avoid direct conflict with people who may be useful to me in the future.

I said yes on this because I avoid conflict in general and I don’t want to burn bridges with people

41. Those with superior talents should not hide them.

Well yeah, everyone should let their talents shine and share them with the world.

42. I am constantly looking for ways to get ahead.

I said yes, I want to do my best.

43. I humiliate others to keep them in line.

This is wrong on so many levels. “keep them in line” Trying to control people is abusive. Hurting people is wrong and humiliating someone is hurting someone, doing it to control them is textbook abuse/manipulation. That’s terrible.

44. People who mess with me almost always regret it.

I don’t think they do and I certainly don’t try to make them regret it. Well one time I sued a car dealership for running my credit without my consent (in the face of me saying no multiple times/complete lack of consent). I wanted them to pay for that, but not just for me, because they broke the law and they should learn that’s not ok. I hope that by losing some money they would think twice about doing that to other people. But I think that’s the only time I’ve ever taken action against anyone, but that wasn’t revenge, that was ensuring the fair consequence for their actions.

45. I’ll say anything to get what I want.

Nope, I’m honest and I don’t think it’s right to say “anything” just to get what I want. That seems wrong.

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igotmysteriousmessages · 6 years

Note

Hello ^^ So my hesdcanon request is about RFA reacting to MC who is overweight and hates her body so much that she even avoids looking at herself and sometimes pushes people away just to make sure they won't touch her because she feels gross about what she looks like. And sometimes she feels so bad about it that she refuses to eat anything. Thank you!

God this hits close home! I deeply hope you don’t feel like that because it’s an awful feeling and it takes so much work to make peace with yourself about it…I’m sending you a bunch of positive energy in case you feel like that and to any other person that might be reading this too.(Does that make sense in english? I hope it does…I’m not sure that expression has english equivalent)

by the way I wrote this from the point of view of an overweight MC in which she is actually on an unhealthy weight and not just chubby so sorry if I misinterpretated it… also a lot of these are really similar because I really think all RFA members would want their MC to feel good with themselves because they love you very much.

I’m quite nervous about this particular headcanon, to be honest I feel I didn’t represent how it really feels to be disgusted at your own body but I really hope you like it anyways and thanks for requesting! ^^

RFA with an overwieght MC that feels bad about her body

Yoosung

He is sosweet loving and caring! It is almost impossible to not feel good aboutyourself when your cute boyfriend is always showering you in affection.

Except youdo…. I mean, yes, love is good and he helps your self-esteem a lot but not eventhat can’t erase the deeply rooted self-deprecating thoughts that comeassociated with your weight.

Longopen-hearted talks. He always has time and patience to try to understand yourfeelings and does his best to help you feel better about yourself.

If you can’tstand looking at yourself in the mirror he’d cover every reflective surface inthe house so you don’t have to… he’d be a little disappointed that it doesn’thelp but he has good intentions!

If you tellhim you don’t feel comfortable with cuddles or any other form of affection he’dretreat from it till you feel better; he totally gets you may need some spacesome days and all he wants is doing the best for you.

He won’tlet you get away with no eating thought….or any other harmful way of losing weight.If he finds you skipping meals he’d convince you to eat even if he has to arguewith you for hours; which he hates.

He is okwith you dieting thought… actually he is the kind of guy to join you on it andgiving up junk food himself to avoid tempting you.

Not a fanof exercising but for you he’d try.

Let’s behonest, there is nothing this boy wouldn’t do for your wellbeing.

Zen

You knowthat part in Harry Potter when Mrs Weasley suggests that Fleur may want to callout the wedding since Bill got scared by a werewolf and Fleur answers “I am good-lookingenough for both of us”? Yeah, that’s Zen.

I mean, thefirst time he saw you he probably was a little taken aback. Mostly because heis used to be surrounded only by skinny and gorgeous women so as he chats withyou and starts falling for you his imagination supplies him with an imagethat’s not very accurate.

But afterthe initial shock he pulls himself together. You are still the amazing girl hemet on the chatroom, he loves you unconditionally and he wouldn’t want you tobe any different.

Also heoverdoes himself trying to make up for his initial reaction because he knowshow is like to be judged by his looks; he always complains about how peopleignore all his hard work and treat him as “just a pretty face” so he’d neverwant you to be treated like a “fat girl” no, you are his beloved princess andnothing else. Really, He’d pamper you so much!!

Afterrevealing your relationship to the world if anyone has anything to say about yourlooks he is ready to fight them, he doesn’t care if they are his fans, reportersor his colleagues…nobody messes with his girlfriend.

He’d nevereven think of asking you to lose weight but if you feel uncomfortable about itand you decide to do so he’d try to help.

He actuallywould be really excited if you wanted to jog with him. You’d probably have toask him not to upload all the photos he’d take… he can’t help it, he loves spendingtime with you.

When it comesto eating habits you both could benefit from a healthier diet (Sorry Zen, beeris not dinner) but it’s going to be alittle more difficult since neither of you are completely sure how to do it.

Jaehee

One of theperks of having a girlfriend is that she understands how you feel; you don’teven have to tell her…she just know.

She alwaystries to tell you how pretty you are and when you are feeling bad about yourbody she does her best to distract you from the subject or keeping you busy soyou don’t have time to feel insecure.

She isworried about your health thought but she doesn’t want to bring it up becauseyou might think she is urging you to lose weight and there is nothing worse foran overweight person than having the people they love to tell them they should loseweight like it was an easy task.

She’d probablytake a less direct approach, maybe not convincing you to lose weight but to dosome exercise… her own figure didn’t come from seating at an office 23 hours aday, that’s for sure. Maybe it’ll help you feel better about yourself too.

So shesuggests it would be fun to some activities together like trekking, judo, yoga,maybe even climbing. If it’s the two of you it is sure to be fun and less exhausting….Also you both need the exercise since the café while giving you a lot of workdoesn’t provide much physical activity.

If you dowant to lose weight because you think you’d feel better about yourself then she’dalso try to help with your diet; she’d do her research and plan healthy mealsalong with making sure you eat a the right times. She’d also like to develop alight sweet line both for the café and your personal enjoyment.

Jumin

He doesn’tcare about looks at all… if something he is a little relived that you don’tlook like all those women that are always throwing themselves to him.

But he doescare about your health. He can’t bear the idea of you developing some illnessbecause of your weight; so he convinces you to see his doctor for a checkup.The doctor of course says the same you already knew. You are pretty muchhealthy but your weight it’s a risk factor for the future. You’ve been toldthis already; the only reason to go through that was calming Jumin.

Afterwardsyou have an honest talk about it and he is pretty clear in his stance. He isworried about what may happen to you but he won’t force you to do any change toyourself or your lifestyle… if you want to lose weight he is there to help, ifyou don’t he is still completely and unconditionally in love with you

When itcomes to your insecurities it is a little more complicated. He just doesn’tunderstand it… You are literally the only women he had ever felt attracted to…you are the most gorgeous woman in this world… how is it even possible that youdon’t know that?

He hasnever been the type to compliment other people but you are the exception. Hemakes sure to always remind you how beautiful he thinks you are in hopes youstart seeing yourself in the same light.

In hisusual fashion he’d also get you clothes that compliment your figure and makeyou feel as beautiful as he sees you everyday.

Saeyoung

In allhonesty; He couldn’t care less for your looks. Sure, he knows you areoverweight (he probably checked your medical record when he did the backgroundcheck so he knows more even than you are willing to share with him) yet in hiseyes you are nothing but cute and beautiful and perfect.

It didn’teven cross his mind that you might be insecure about your aspect.

Unless nottill the fateful day in which he suggested to take a trip to the beach. He wasso excited since it would be the first time he and his brother would see thesea… but you don’t want to go.

Why? Youwon’t tell…and this is when this poor baby loses it.

His brainis permanently set in “it’s my fault” mode so he figures out he did somethingto upset you but he can’t pinpoint what.

He has 2missions now, discovering what he did wrong and make up to you for that.

He ordersyour favorite food for dinner but you excuse yourself saying you are nothungry.

He triescuddling but you refuse his touch

He finallyresorts to be direct “MC, I’m not sure what did I do wrong but I’m really sorryfor upsetting you”

You shylyexplain him how you feel and he makes it his ultimate goal to make you feelgood with yourself.

You can nolonger refuse his affection because knowing the reason you are pushing him awayonly makes him want to hold you even tighter.

Same asYoosung he is infinitely caring and supportive of whatever decision you takeregarding your body as long as you do it in a healthy way. Your wellbeing (bothphysical and psychological) is his upmost priority and he’d do anything in hishands to keep you happy and well.

Jihyun

You bothwork through your insecurities together.

During hisroute he mentions he is not very comfortable with his body either so he knowshow you feel and sincerely wishes you shouldn’t have to go through it but healso knows he can’t just take the weight off your shoulders… this is somethingyou need to do for yourself.

Does thismean that you are alone in this? Of course not! You have the most patientcaring and supportive boyfriend in this world… you wouldn’t be alone at it evenif you wanted.

He isn’tgood with words but the days you feel disgusted at yourself he’d listen as youexpress your emotions and then he’d hug you reassuringly.

As cheesyas it sounds he most definitely paints you a portrait in which you can seeyourself from his perspective; because even if you dislike yourself, for himyou are absolutely perfect.

When hefinds it is not just about self-image but health he starts encouraging you toseek professional help to lose weight, He knows that if you don’t want to do itthere is nothing he can do but he can’t just stay quiet knowing it may end upcausing you harm.

This won’tstop him in trying to get you feel good with your body thought; you helped himso much to live himself and he is more than ready to do the same for you.

Saeran

He justdoesn’t get it… why would you feel bad about your body? You are absolutelyperfect just the way you are

The onlything about your weight that actually bothers him is when you refuse to eat.

After awhole life being denied if food he puts a great value in every meal… thereforewhen you tell him you don’t want to have lunch that day? He is utterly worried…You try to calm him telling that there are some days in which you feel fat anddisgusted with yourself… well, it is worst… he doesn’t want to hear anythingabout it being only temporal and that you’ll be fine next day… he wants you tobe fine always.

Also, hehas been apart from the rest of society for most of his life so he doesn’tunderstand why would you like to be skinny… he hates being like that… the factthat you aren’t means you hadn’t experience the abuse and hunger he did… itshould be something good. It takes him a while to grasp the concept that skinnyand beautiful are often used as synonyms.

He stillcan’t accept it thought… he has never seen someone as beautiful as you and heis not changing his mind.

When youdon’t want to eat he’d try to negotiate with you “Just eat a little bit MC, Iswear its healthy food”

He is allabout letting you take your own decisions so as long as you don’t hurt yourselfhe’d be hella supportive of what you decide to do about your weight.

If youdon’t want to lose weight he’d pamper you to no end so you don’t feel bad aboutyourself

If you wantto then he’ll help in any way he can: He’d cook tasty low-carb meals for you,he’d exercise with you and if you feel like giving up he’d encourage you “Comeon MC! I know you can do this!”

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godfirstgodalways · 6 years

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How can I be passionate about life again? It's been really hard these last few years and it seems to be worse since I'm a junior in college and I just feel like I'm going through the motions and I'm not really living life.

I could say read your Bible more often, pray more often, count your blessings more often, eat healthier, exercise more, do more of the things you love….but I’ll tell you something different, something you can do now that will ultimately lead to being more passionate about that list I just made. Here’s a quick story about me first. I had a lot of struggles growing up since I can remember back when, especially throughout my teen years. This is actually my testimony you’re going to read if you don’t know about my past yet. I am a victim of abuse (physical, emotional, psychological, and verbal abuse). My own father was my abuser. I look back in life and I could say I didn’t deserve all the pain and hurt, but because I’ve come out of it a more confident, stronger, wiser, resilient, patient, and faithful Christian, I don’t regret or am ashamed all that I had to go through. It was for my own good that I’ve come to accept. It takes a lot for me to get sad over a matter or get sensitive over something that someone else might otherwise have thought was a mean or rude thing to tell me. Maybe because I’ve grown to tolerate a lot….I hope I don’t come across as someone who has just become so emotionally cold and because of it, prideful. I sincerely have changed my outlook on emotions and it’s not in any way negative, and it’s because God has transformed my mind. I am however more sensitive to the hurts and pains of others, not in an empathetic “poor you” way, but in a manner that strives to help you “understand more about yourself” way. My dad’s love was very tough and because of this ugly character he used to have, I drew myself closer and closer to God, our Heavenly Father. No matter how much pain I’ve endured, Jesus endured so much more. It’s oftentimes the poorest in spirit that find the most comfort in God because out of desperation He is their last and only hope. That’s why 2 Corinthians 12:9-11 is such good scripture to meditate on…

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

There are testimonies of people in all walks of life who have made drastic turnarounds by professing Christ as their Savior. They are ex-prisoners, ex-gangsters, ex-drug users, celebrities that used to work for the entertainment business, even ex-porn stars, cancer survivors, former atheists….before they gave their lives to Christ, the one thing they all had in common was that they were poor in spirit. They did not at first recognize or acknowledge how badly in shape their spirits were in, but once they did and did something about it by turning to God in desperation, He gave them a kind of strength that could only be found in Him.

In Matthew 5:3-12 it says, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.

I gave my life to Christ and heard of this scripture even before the abuse got worse, but it did not stick with me until years later after I had run away. I rededicated my life to Christ and years after the abuse stopped I had gotten comfortable with my old habits and it wasn’t until then when I realized I didn’t have to experience bad things happening to me to get back on track. Oftentimes it takes extremely difficult experiences for people to change their ways. They need a wake-up call. It takes fear for them to finally get motivated. It could be a breakup, a divorce, losing a job, getting thrown out of the house, a terrible car accident, losing someone they love to illness….those who are the most desperate for change are the ones that actually do something positive with the whatever situation they’re in, and those who easily lose hope and give up go into a deep depression. I’ve learned not to wait for those very difficult times and this is how I do it….I simply practice HUMILITY. I can’t emphasize this enough. SURRENDER AS OFTEN AS YOU REMEMBER IN A DAY. BEGIN WITH GOD EARLY IN THE MORNING. END WITH GOD AT NIGHT. LEARN BY RECOGNIZING WHAT AREAS IN LIFE YOUR PRIDE SHOWS UP IN. AS YOU’RE YIELDING TO CHRIST, REMEMBER WHAT HE DID FOR YOU. YOU ARE NOT YOUR OWN, YOU WERE BOUGHT AT A PRICE, YOU HAVE NOTHING AND ARE NOTHING WITHOUT GOD, CONFESS YOUR PRIDE AND OTHER SINS AND GENUINELY REPENT. PRACTICE THIS AS MANY TIMES AS YOU HAVE TO EVERYDAY AND YOUR HUMBLENESS WILL BE AS NATURAL AS BREATHING. YOU’LL EXPERIENCE MORE PEACE AND JOY BECAUSE YOU’LL ALSO BE MORE AWARE OF ALL THE GOODNESS AND BLESSINGS GOD PUTS INTO YOUR LIFE.

When I ran away from home and didn’t see my parents for a year, I could remember 6 of those months were the happiest months of my life. It wasn’t because I was away from my dad, well maybe partly…but it was mainly because I had a lot of alone time with God and that’s when I truly began to love myself by getting to know Him more. It was a streak on the mountaintop because I tried the best I could to acknowledge God everywhere I went. I didn’t know at the time that what I was actually doing was surrendering everyday. When you acknowledge God and I mean not just remember He’s present, but simply remembering He sent His Son to die for you, and accepting Jesus as that grace you don’t deserve, knowing how much He actually did for you to have your life where you get to have God as your guide should make you fall to your knees and grieve for how selfish you have been for making life about yourself. Humbling myself made me fall in love with Him more and more, which in turn made me love myself more, which made me more passionate about sharing His love simply by spreading my joy. I am not 24/7 nearly gung-ho and as excited about life as I was then, but overall I definitely appreciate life more now whether I’m in the valley or up on the mountaintop, I have joy because I still take Jesus with me everywhere I go. Some people are fine acknowledging God only once or twice a day, some need to acknowledge Him 20 times a day. Whatever it takes…know that God will be pleased with you for your efforts.

There’s a similar issue I was presented with I think a year ago. Anon asked how they could be more passionate about reading the Bible because they felt they were just reading it without really getting into it…they needed motivation basically. I can’t remember all that I said, except the part where in order for anyone to get the most out of Bible reading, you have to approach it as if you were a pauper. I believe Bible reading gets boring because we subconsciously think either we won’t get anything much from it or understand anything, or we think we already know a lot when it comes to wisdom. What that is is actually pride but we are not aware of it. There is a fundamental order to prayer and it starts with adoration/praise, then confession, thanksgiving, supplication/prayer requests - ACTS. The first 2, adoration and confession go first because if done sincerely, it should put the one praying in a state of humility. You must be humble when approaching God before realizing He has actually given you a lot (thanks) and before asking him anything your heart desires (supplication). And as Christians we’re suppose to pray a lot throughout the day, enough that it becomes second nature, because really all it is is practicing His presence by talking to God (verbally or mindfully) as if He’s there living and breathing like a real person who’s your really good friend. So approach God with humility by surrendering and praising Him before asking Him that you want to have more passion for life or anything you desire out of life. Acknowledge that you are poor in spirit…I know you probably already know that you are in that state right now, but you should mention it to God too every time you approach Him. Expound on it, be honest with your feelings. “When I am weak, then I am strong. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. God is my guide. He will only give me what I can handle. With Him all things are possible.” Those are God’s promises I put on repeat in my head anytime I can tell my world is about to be shaken. So basically, HUMBLE YOURSELF BY ACKNOWLEDGING YOU ARE WEAK AND YOU NEED GOD’S STRENGTH. BE HONEST WITH YOUR WEAKNESS BUT ALSO DO THE BEST YOU CAN TO FOCUS ON GOD’S POWER OVER YOU THROUGH PRAISE. PRAISE HIM BY MAGNIFYING HIS GREATNESS INSTEAD OF YOUR WEAKNESS. REMEMBER TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY TO PRAY THROUGHOUT THE DAY, AND HE WILL BLESS YOU WITH PASSION FOR LIFE, BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, PASSION FOR GOD. That’s my whole but simple secret for true joy. Thank you for this. I will be praying for you! :)

Colossians 3:23 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men,

1 Corinthians 10:31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

Luke 14:11 For all those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Proverbs 11:2 When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.

Psalm 149:4 For the LORD takes delight in his people; He crowns the humble with victory.

Philippians Chapter 2 - Imitating Christ’s Humility

By His Grace, Sheela (Via godfirstgodalways)

#godfirstgodalwaysreply #my Christian advice #find passion for life #help for college

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