#so enjoy my thoughts on this fine satur day

[maryangelex]

Let Them Know Who You Belong To

Simon “Ghost” Riley x f! Reader

Summary: You and Ghost had been having a secret situationship for a couple of months now. Lately, though, he had grown possessive over you, getting jealous at any interaction you had with the other soldiers in the base. And it was time he taught you a lesson about who you belonged to.

Warning: nsfw, jealous! simon riley, possessive! simon riley, unprotected sex, p in v sex, shower sex, established relationship, praise kink, dom! simon riley, bratty! reader, claiming, rough sex, smut with little plot, degradation kink, manhandling, not proofread

A/N: so that price fanfic did pretty damn well ;) and I thought I’d try my hand again at writing a smutty fic for simon cus I’m down bad for him. Promise this one will be shorter… hopefully… enjoy!!!

For the last couple of months, you and Ghost had been exclusively fucking each other. Ever since you gathered the courage to fess up your little crush and horny fantasies to him, he’d been kindly fucking your brains out every time you asked (sometimes you didn’t even have to).

But of course, a man like Ghost wouldn’t settle down for anyone, certainly not you; he wasn’t your boyfriend, he was just someone that thoroughly enjoyed using you like his personal whore. The two of you had set that boundary very early on and it had been working out since for both.

Which is precisely why Ghost was conflicted about his current feelings as he watched you swoon with one of the men in the base. He watched you from a safe distance, watched as you were cornered against the wall by some guy way below your league, he thought. You were too fine a woman to stand there listening to some average guy’s rambling. Still he watched you giggle at whatever he was saying, batting your eyelashes at him, nudging his arm when he made you laugh.

As he watched you his stomach recoiled, his gloved fist clenched and jaw gritted under his mask. What the fuck could this daft bastard be saying that’s making you laugh so hard?

You caught a glimpse of Ghost in the opposite end of the hallway, leaning against the wall with his eyes burning a hole through you. You looked at him through your peripheral vision, shooting him a devilish smirk because you knew it was getting under his skin that you were entertaining another bloke. Truth be told, you weren’t even listening to what this guy was saying; a lot of words and a whole lot of nothing. Regardless, you made a performance for him, laughing and touching the man’s muscled arm as if he was the most riveting man you had come across, all because you loved seeing Ghost’s panties get in a twist. You loved it when he became possessive of you, when he’d get all worked up and reminded you that you were exclusively, his despite there being nothing between the two of you except amazing sex.

He pushed himself off the wall, mumbling curses to himself as he turned away and left. He knew your smirk was directed at him, knew you were riling him up on purpose because he fucked you so good when you made him angry. What a slut you were.

Later that day, you waited for everyone else to hit the showers before you did. You liked having the whole communal space to yourself, so you were always last to take your time and enjoy the privacy. You hadn’t seen Ghost the whole day after that little performance. He must be sulking somewhere and waiting for you to come to him. But you decided you’d let it simmer, leave it for the next day.

You turned on the shower, letting it warm up as you stripped naked and stepped in once it was at a comfortable temperature. You saturated your body and hair, closing your eyes as the water ran down your head and face, enjoying the sensation of it, your tense muscles relaxing. You were blissfully unaware of your surroundings, unwinding from a long day of bullshit from your superiors.

Ghost had spent the whole day scheming about how he’d get back at you for your little antics. He knew your nightly routine of being the very last one to shower. So, he waited for you to enter the shower and he followed close behind you. He snuck inside the shower room, stealthily creeping in without you having a clue. As he faced the shower curtain, he stepped out of his boots, stripping silently and creeping on you covering your naked body in soap suds.

You were facing the shower, eyes still closed, running your soapy washcloth along your body mindlessly. Suddenly, you heard the sound of the shower curtain being ripped open, the sound of metal rings clanking on the bar and rustled plastic. You jumped, shooting your eyes open and looking behind you to find Ghost there.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Ghost!” You scolded, keeping a whisper to not alert anyone outside the shower room.

He was standing there naked with the exception of his mask still on but rolled up to his nose. His eyes matched the scowl plastered on his lips; he was proper pissed.

“What, did you think I’d let you get away with that little show you put on for me today?” He growled, stepping into the shower with you.

“Wha— Simon, you’re not supposed to be here!” You ignored his question, genuinely concerned about his intrusion and the possibility of someone coming in. You knew he’d show up to put you in your place but didn’t anticipate it to be at a place like this.

“I asked you a question,” he insisted, grabbing your waist and turning you around to face him. He held your body close to his with a hand wrapped around your waist; you could feel his cock pressed stiff against your abdomen.

You gulped, looking up into his deep brown eyes; they were dark with anger and lust, couldn’t tell which it was more of. You looked at him like a deer in headlights.

“Answer me,” he said through gritted teeth, his grip on your waist tightening. His other hand flew to grasp your jaw, holding it tightly not letting you even try to look away from him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you lied, looking at him with a smug expression, a twinge of a smirk curling at the corners of your mouth. He murmured a curse as his grip on your jaw slid down to your neck, holding it firmly.

“Don’t play with me, sweetheart. You know what you did wrong today… and you know the consequences of fuckin’ with me”

In a swift movement, he spun you around, making you face the wall again. You caught yourself from falling by holding your arms out against the wall. You felt one of his hands on your abdomen, keeping you pressed against his body, ass flush with his cock. The other hand entwined in the crown of your head, grasping and pulling your wet hair.

The way he held you drew a whimper from your lips. Your head fell back as he pulled your hair, and you felt his lips against your ear, his hot breath on your skin.

“You enjoy me punishing you, huh, you little slut?” He whispered, his words like poison seething out of his lips.

You responded with just another whimper. “Y-yes” was all you could muster.

“Yes, what? Address your superiors, soldier”

“Yes, sir”

You heard a pleased sound rumble in his throat, then felt his breath on your neck followed by the sensation of his teeth nipping at the tender skin on your neck, making you yelp.

“S-Simon…” You pleaded.

The hand that wasn’t gripping your hair migrated behind you, his palm colliding loudly against your ass, making you jump and whimper at the burning sensation of Ghost’s large hand smacking your asscheek red.

“That’s ‘sir’ to you, sweetheart,” he said, his hand on your ass squeezing and soothing the sensitive flesh.

“ ‘m gonna teach you how to behave, how to be a good girl for me…and everyone in this base is gonna hear it, understood?”

Your face turned bright red and hot. You nodded as best as you could with Ghost’s unrelenting grip on your hair still. “That’s my good slut,” he whispered.

Ghost released your hair, both of his hands sliding to the front of your torso. The two calloused hands moved to squeeze your breasts possessively. His mouth was on the crook of your neck, giving the skin a primal bite, then soothing it with a few tender kisses. You moaned at the sensation.

His fingers toyed with your nipples, pinching them and pulling them up, both simultaneously in synchronicity. He alternated between doing so and massaging the soft sacks. You turned to face him, to try and manage to kiss him. But he pulled away, the clasps on your nipples stilling as he tugged them in a punishing manner. You winced in pleasure.

“Uh-uh, you don’t deserve that,” he mocked you.

Ghost moved his hands up to your shoulders, pushing your torso forward. If it hadn’t been for your hands on the wall you would’ve face planted the tile in front of you with the force of his movements. Now your back was arched, torso leaned forward, and ass presented for him.

He caressed his hands down your back, the gesture felt condescending given how he was treating you. They stopped at your ass cheeks, squeezing them once more. Then, you felt the sting of his hand striking the right one, then the left one. He did that a couple more times, alternating between the two cheeks. You moaned and winced at the mix of pain and pleasure.

“S-sir, please,” you began.

“Please, what? Use your words.

“Just fuck me already, please!”

“Fuck you? I said I’d punish you, love. Good girls get fucked; dirty sluts like you get punished”

As he squeezed your ass he spread both of your cheeks, revealing your slick cunt to him.

“Look at you, your pussy’s glistening f’me. You like me treatin’ you like this, huh?” He chuckled maliciously. You felt two of his thick fingers run up and down the folds of your cunt; you moaned in response.

Ghost slid the two digits inside of you at a painfully slow pace. “Fuckkk, you swallowed them whole, sweetheart, this pussy’s so desperate to be fucked. Too bad ‘m gonna take my sweet time torturing you”

You let out a moan at the intrusion inside of you, then at the feeling of his fingers sliding in and out oh so slowly. It was driving you crazy, you just wanted him to ram them into you quick and replace them with his cock already.

“Please, sir, I’ll be good I promise, please just move faster” you sobbed.

“I don’t take orders from you, love” his fingers curled inside your walls, making you jolt at the tight feeling. His other hand kneaded at your ass while he stroked his fingers in an out of you, pace not picking up, and curling them up deep inside of you.

His cock was throbbing at the sight of his fingers entering and exiting you, at how good you looked begging for him to fuck you with your cheeks spread for him like this.

He pumped his fingers in and out, pulling moans out of you. You kept yourself still trying not to push your ass back to fuck yourself on his fingers. You tried your best to be a good girl for him like he ordered; you were just so obedient.

“See? You can be such a good girl for me. Good job princess,” he praised you, “you earned yourself this…”

Ghost reached his other hand around you, settling it between your legs at the front of your pussy, using his index and middle finger to circle your swollen clit. Now he was picking up the pace of the fingers fucking you as well as the two rubbing your sensitive bud. You basked in the feeling, your eyes rolling to the back of your head as you let out a breathless moan.

Your legs spread apart to allow him more access to toy your pussy. Your eyes closed as you relished the way he rewarded you.

“Th-thank you, sir” you moaned.

Ghost chuckled “You like that, baby? You like me rewarding you? See how good I can make my girl feel?”

His girl, you thought. You were his girl, you belonged to him. He knew the right ways to touch you, knew his way around your body; how to please you, how to torture you. You bit your lip at the thought and responded with a hum.

He fucked you with his fingers and played with your clit some more, feeling your walls clench around him, indicating that you were close to cumming.

You were a mess of moans and whimpers at this point, mouth agape, letting them fall out of it. Your eyes in the back of your skull and your head thrown back, back arched to the limit. You felt his fingers twist and curl into your pussy, drilling into you, his speed had picked up significantly; that mixed with the pressure on your throbbing clit sent you over the edge.

And soon enough, you were releasing choked out moans, pussy spasming around his fingers as you were getting ready to cum. A wave of pleasure was surging in you and you were eager to let it wash over you.

But Ghost had other plans, so he took his hands away from you, now gripping your hips. You practically sobbed.

“N-no, no, no, Simon— sir, please! Please, please, let me cum I’m so close, please!” You were crying at this point, looking back at Ghost with pleading eyes. You met his face that wore an evil smirk, his eyes dark with malice.

“That’s a good fucking girl. You’re so pretty when you beg for me to let you cum.” He chuckled, his hands massaging your hips, holding them tightly.

“You’re not gonna cum until I do, lovie” he said, aligning the painfully swollen head of his cock with your desperate cunt. He relentlessly slammed his cock inside of you, making you cry out in pain and pleasure. He was so rough but you were yearning to be filled by his massive member. He let out a primal groan when he felt your warm walls clasp his dick inside of you.

“ ‘m gonna fuck you senseless now, alright? That fucker you were giggling with would never fuck you this good, would he, princess?”

“No! Never, never like you, sir! No one’s as good as you!” You moaned, your walls clenched around his motionless cock to give yourself some relief. Then, you felt Ghost slowly pull out entirely, before ramming his dick back inside of you, making you cry out.

He pounded into you, slowly but firmly and deep. His grip on your hips was bruising as he slammed himself inside of you. The obscene sound of skin slapping against skin was louder than the sound of the water hitting the tiles. You moaned consumed by euphoria.

Ghost held your hip with one hand while the other slithered to the back of your neck, holding it to make himself slam into you impossibly deeper and harsher. Your tender ass cheeks were growing redder from his skin slapping against them. His pace was quick and rough, groans and curses falling from his lips.

“You’re fuckin’ mine, ya hear me? My girl, my pussy to fuck. This cunt belongs to me…only for my cock”

You responded with a string of moans and yeses, too cockdrunk and out of it to say any proper responses. Your climax was creeping up on you once again; the wave rising.

Then, you felt Ghost maneuver your body, twisting your torso slightly to the side, and lifting one of your legs by your thigh. You were now almost on your side, the leg in his grasp opening your cunt better for him, and you were standing on your other leg with some leverage from your arm on the wall. If it wasn’t for Ghost holding most of your bodyweight, you would’ve toppled over.

This new angle made him penetrate you deeper, opening yourself up for him. And now you could see behind you, him standing there thrusting deeply into you, huffing like an animal as he fucked you silly.

He was a sight to behold; muscles coated in water and sweat, glistening with droplets of water running down his body, his lips parted and juicy, practically drooling for you, and his eyes devoured you.

“There’s my girl, that face is so fuckin’ pretty,” he said as he thrust into you quickly and deeply

“Love how deep I am in your pussy…gonna make me cum soon… ‘m gonna cum in your pussy so you know it’s mine.”

“Gh-Ghost, ahh, I wanna cum, please” you moaned, tears running down your face.

“Cum for me, baby, you have permission. Say my fucking name, make sure everyone hears you.” He said breathlessly, possessively, with a hint of sweetness. “Make sure everyone knows who fucks you this good, who you belong to.”

And that you did. You moaned “Simon” loudly, practically screaming his name. You repeated it over and over like a chant as you came undone on his cock. You clenched around him, legs shaking as you came and sobbed out his name. Your body went limp as Ghost held you, fucking you and using you to attain his own climax.

His hips shook, thrusts faltering as he released hot, sticky ropes of cum that pooled within you. You moaned in unison as you felt him flood your pussy. He cursed under his breath, his thighs shaking as he came down from his high.

He held your tired body and accommodated you, helping you stand. You both panted in the shower. Cum was dripping down your leg and Ghost helped your rinse it away since you were too drained to even move. You were trying to catch your breath, legs wobbly and your pussy abused.

He loved the sight of you all fucked out like this. And you loved how he took care of you after fucking you like this. You turned to face him, using his shoulders to support yourself, and looked into his eyes; a tired smile on your lips.

“Do I deserve a kiss now?” You said innocently.

Ghost scoffed, unable to help how the corners of his lips curled. He cupped your face with one hand and leaned in to kiss you. He was hungry for it, definitely wanting to kiss you this whole time but holding back to drive his point home. You kissed him with as much pleasure and desire, humming into his mouth.

“You’re fuckin’ mine, ya hear me? Don’t wanna see you do that again” He scolded you in a whisper against your lips.

You let out an impish giggle, “I just love riling you up. But I’m all yours, Si.”

A/N: I’m sorry!!! It’s long as fuck again!!! But I tried!!! Anyways >:( hope you loved it you rascals <3

#call of duty mwii #cod mw2 #ghost mw2 #ghost riley #simon ghost riley #fanfic #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x you #ghost riley smut #smut #simon riley smut #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost Riley x female reader #simon riley x female reader

[sencubussubs]

Robotic Affirming

Hi lovelies!

Let’s talk Robotic Affirming! Robotic affirming is a manifestation method that works using repetition to replace assumptions and beliefs:

Key principles: (to any method / during manifestation)

- Repetition

- Saturation

- Persistence

- Discipline

Understanding Robotic Affirming:

Robotic affirming works by mindlessly affirming all throughout the day. You do not need to feel it real or visualise, you are simply repeating a (preferably short) affirmation over and over to saturate your mind and replace previous dominant thoughts / assumptions you held.

Saturating your mind is how you create new beliefs. Whether you work with affirmations or states, you saturate your mind with the decision you are making to change.

Ways to robotically affirm:

1. Mindlessly affirming for set periods of time or at any moment that you do not need to be focusing on something (like work or school). Mindless / robotic just means you are repeating the affirmation without thinking about it or needing to feel emotion

2. 10 minute method/ Power affirming: set a timer for ten minutes in which you only repeat your affirmation(s) (1-2). Do not focus on anything else, just your affirmations.

3. SATS affirming: if you struggle with visualisation you can also robotically affirm yourself to sleep :) just repeat the affirmations over and over, don’t think too hard about it. I like to count and affirm “1 I am *affirmation*. 2. I am *affirmation*. 3. i am *affirmation*” and so on.

When working with robotic affirmations it is best to work with 1-2 max 3 affirmations at a time, as it is just easier to remember and repeat less affirmations. Over time (not a long time) you will find yourself automatically start to affirm when you are not doing anything/ randomly thinking of your affirmations! it makes affirming feel far more normal.

Tip: if you get distracted easily, or to make it fun, use a counter app and see how many times you can affirm in the 10 minutes (or longer!).

Persistence as with any manifestation is key. If you have thoughts that pop up that don’t align with your affirmations, do not just allow them to sit and complain in your head. Those thoughts are irrelevant to who you now are deciding to be. It takes discipline to create new assumptions - but not a long time (unless you continuously assume it does). If an unfavourable thought pops up, take a deep breath and remember, this does not align with you anymore. it is irrelevant.

E.G.

my affirmation is: I have 5 thousand dollars in my bank account.

thought pops up: Man I am so broke.

Response: No, actually i know that i have five thousand dollars in my bank account so that thought is so irrelevant to me. *let the thought through and then move on! Do not let negative thoughts stress you out. you are doing everything right!*

Finding your strengths

not everyone will enjoy robotic affirming, they may find it tiring to affirm all the time and that’s fine. For me it is a simple and healthy habit that keeps my mind busy on positive saturation in time periods where typically negative thoughts may pop up!

For some visualisation and states may be tiring! So maybe this will suit you :)

Remember that it is not your affirmations that manifest, it is you. You are using the affirmations to change your subconscious beliefs - even if you don’t believe the affirmations, the repetition and saturation will train your mind - unless you spend all the time counter-affirming about “oh it is not working”, it is literally only not working because you are deciding it isn’t….

Also i really do not care if another content creator states “erm robotic affirming doesn’t work”, it may not have ‘worked’ for them but it has worked time and time again for others! As always, do not let one’s experience dictate what can and cannot work for you.

Here are some content creators I like that use and talk about robotic affirming :

- Sammy Ingram

- Your Thoughts Create

- Rita kaminski

- Manifesting with kimberly

- Alex Khan

you can find all of them on youtube :) Remember not to over-consume! It will not help you.

As a final note i want to remind you that manifestation is not a process it is a decision. You are not affirming to get something, you are affirming as a reminder to yourself of what is already yours. As you saturate your mind with this it becomes an undeniable fact to your mind and as such the 3D will reflect it.

Have anymore questions about robotic affirming or anything else law of assumption? Feel free to send a dm or an ask, my messages are always open <3

Love,

Saph

#law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting #loassblog #loassumption #sencubus #loa #conscious manifesting #manifestation technique #manifestation techniques #robotic affirmations #robotic affirming #affirmations #loass affirmations #law of assumption affirmations #law of assumption techniques #law of assumption method #law of assumption tumblr #law of assumption blog

[kteezy997]

"Hi,K. I'll leave an idea here ,if you like it, it's yours. The reader is at home, leaning out the window, on a rainy morning. Dawn has just broken and she sees a boy alone, standing under the rain in the neighbor's garden. He seems so down.She invites him in and offers him coffee. He is so cute and seems so sad, that she sweetly consoles him and well .... His green eyes and pale skin make her fall in love,so,it turns into a sweet smut. I leave to your creativity the end and the reason for his sadness. Thank you for still being here. And congratulations on 'Be my daddy', I love that story."

The Boy in the Rain

A/n: thank you my sweet friend @gatoenlaciudad for the idea and kind words! Your support means more than you know!❤️❤️

Warnings: smut, light spanking, strangers hooking up

It was early still, the rain from last night hadn't let up much. It was a gloomy, dreary morning, but you felt cozy at the idea of spending the day inside.

You made some fresh coffee and decided to watch the rainfall for a bit. You leaned on the window, resting your head on it. As you watched the droplets coming down, you sipped on your coffee, letting it warm you from the inside out. You could see the sun begin to rise and the precipitation started to lighten, finally.

You could over look your neighbor's garden from the window and as you looked ahead further, you could make out a tall, slim figure standing there. It was a man, about your age. His hair was a mass of wet curls and his clothes were drenched. You couldn't help but notice how sad he seemed to be.

Surely, you thought, he could use a safe space to warm up. You slipped on some shoes and went downstairs. You threw on your raincoat and headed outside. The rain wasn't coming down very hard, but it was still quite cold as you approached your neighbor's fence.

You looked over at the young man standing alone in the garden and called out to him, "Hello! Are you alright, sir?"

He looked over at you, his brows furrowed in the rain as he squinted. You got a glimpse of the green in his eyes. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you for checking, anyway."

"Can I ask why you're out here all by yourself? Maybe you'd like to come inside? I've got fresh coffee, you seem like you could stand to warm up."

"Sure, I'd appreciate that."

You lead the way into your home, and removed your coat. Your new friend did the same, but alas, his rain jacket did little to keep the rain from saturating his clothes underneath.

"Here, let me grab you a towel." you said, rushing to the bathroom and back with a plush towel for him to wrap up in.

"Thank you, very much." he said, putting the towel around his shoulders.

"I didn't get your name out there." you said, trying to not be too awkward.

"Oh, yes, I'm Timothée. And you are?" He ran the towel through his wet curls.

"Y/n." you said, suddenly realizing how handsome he was. You felt yourself blushing but tried to hide it by saying, "Come on, let's get you some coffee."

Once in the kitchen together, you poured him a cup and handed the warm beverage over to him.

"Thank you, y/n. You're so sweet, you didn't have to do this." He brought the mug up to his lips for a sip.

"Well, not to judge or anything, but you looked awfully pitiful out there in the rain, Timothée." you giggled.

He chuckled along with you, saying, "Yeah, I really don't normally hang out in random gardens in inclement weather. It's my grandmother's place across the way."

"Oh, Mrs. Chalamet? She's so sweet, I've always enjoyed having her as neighbor."

"That's nice to hear." he smiled, but if faded sadly. "But, she actually passed away yesterday."

"Oh no, Timothee, I'm so sorry."

"Thank you. We're starting to clean out her things today and i just..." he shook his head, "got overwhelmed with everything, so I just went out the garden for a minute."

"In the pouring rain?" you asked.

"Yeah." he chuckled, "I just had to step away, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that. Is there anything else I can do for you? I don't have anywhere to be today."

Timothee looked into your eyes, not moving his gaze even slightly. "Could I ask you to distract me, Y/n?" He brought his hand up, and his fingers met your chin ever so delicately. "Even if it's just for a little while?"

His hand moved and your jaw rested in his palm as his thumb caressed your cheek and his green eyes melted you. You trembled a bit, you couldn’t help it. He was so downhearted, and so damn good-looking and sweet.

"Of course. Anything you need, Timothee." You bit your lip.

Timothée cocked his head slightly to the side and leaned in. His eyes closed, and you closed yours as well. His lips were soft and cool to the touch from being out in the weather.

Damn, it felt so good to be kissed, especially by beautiful Timothée. You moaned and he slid his tongue into your mouth in response.

He groaned against your lips, “Your bedroom?”

“Mm, it’s this way.” you replied, taking him by the hand and making your way upstairs. “Let’s get you out if these clothes.” you said, pulling his wet shirt off and then unbuttoning his trousers.

You got his pants off and then his boxers, and his cock was semi-hard already. You just wanted to make him feel good, so you moistened your lips with your tongue. You took his cock in your hands, and put your wet lips on the tip of him. You moaned as you sucked.

“Fuck yeah.” Timothée muttered, grabbing a handful of your hair. “Your mouth feels so fucking good.”

You used your tongue to glide along the underside of his dick as you bobbed to and fro. Timothée started to rut his hips forward softly. His breathing pattern became rugged, and he started to whimper.

After awhile, his cock was fully erect and leaking a bit with precum. “God damn, take your clothes off.” He ordered you with a huff.

You giggled, obliging by throwing your top off. As you slid your leggings down, he came over to you, putting his hands on your waist and turning you around. He also pushed you forward so you were bent over the bed and he pushed your leggings the rest of the way down for you and he smacked your naked ass cheek.

You shrieked, “Timothée!” He tossed your leggings elsewhere and you heard the fabric hit the floor. He raked your thong over your butt and spread your folds and you felt his warm, wet tongue on you.

Timothée used the tip of his tongue to tease your clit. “Fuck!” you moaned shamelessly over and over again as he spent several minutes warming you up by licking and lapping over your wetness.

You felt his mouth leave you, and you were shaking lightly. You whimpered in anticipation. Timothée grabbed you by the hips and slid his thick cock into you. The stretching he caused was painful at first but then it was bliss after a few strokes.

“You feel me baby? How’s it feel for you?” he asked you, panting a little.

“So fucking good!” you said, believing that this was what heaven must be like: getting fucked by Timothée Chalamet.

Even as he held you as you both fell into a mid morning nap afterwards, you could still hear the sinful, wet sounds of your lovemaking playing in your mind over and over.

#timothée chalamet #timmy chalamet #timothee x reader #timothée imagine #timothee chalamet smut #timothee fluff

[mywritingonlyfans]

there r so many cute ones but i was thinking maybe 013: "You'll never feel alone with me by your side."

theeeey are!!! I'm feeling at my best doing this shit haha

here's the prompt list.

...

You felt truly clean and cozy, having left the iPad by your bedside, eagerly awaiting his call. It had become a habit for both of you (something you looked forward to as the day went on). Your hair was damp, your body tired and relaxed, and you were wearing his shirt while cuddling his pillow. The familiar scent invaded your nostrils, and your heart weighed heavy knowing he was far away.

As the FaceTime call appeared on your screen, you adjusted yourself, still lying down, and answered. Soon, Alex's face filled the screen, like a proper older grandpa, making sure everything was going well before positioning the camera beside him on the hotel bed. It made you laugh, a light but genuine one. Even though he wasn't physically with you, you could still feel good about it, appreciating the time he dedicated to you and his willingness to sacrifice some of the aversion to technology for you.

"Hey, pumpkin," he whispered softly, his smile growing as yours widened at the sight of him. Alex didn't look any different than you, wearing a white robe with his wet hair slicked back, which you appreciated because it allowed you to see his entire face.

"Hey, babe," you chimed, the video calls was always the same. It wasn't about exchanging empty words or feeling obligated to speak, but rather about cherishing each other's presence, even when it seemed impossible. Most of the time, it was about enjoying the comforting silence and letting yourselves be enveloped by it.

"I like the shirt," he nestled further into the bed, watching as you brought the collar of the shirt up to your nose while hugging his pillow tighter. Your eyes filled with tears, and it didn't get any easier for Alex, even despite him having done countless tours. He wanted to hug you, bury his nose in your neck until he could feel saturated with your scent. In a way, the thought of the shirt from The Stone Roses, which in his view perfectly outlined you, returning to him with your perfume made him feel more at home, in spite of he was on a different continent from you.

"Can you look at me?" he asked softly, his heart weighing in his chest once more. You took a deep breath, feeling a slight tightness in your throat. If you opened your eyes, the tears would trickle down cautiously. The shirt was already losing his scent, indicating that he had been away for quite some time, and you were beginning to fail at concealing that feeling.

"I miss you too, don't try to hide from me." You weakly smiled, making Alex feel a little lighter. You looked at him, your face still partially hidden by the pillow, and he smiled comfortingly at your wet cheeks.

"Mum told me you cried today when she asked "bout me." He sounded simple, and you wrinkled your nose, knowing that Penny would talk to him. "I'm pathetic," you chuckled.

"No, you're not. I miss you just as much, cutie." Silence hung over the call, and Alex still had a warm, smiling gaze. You could imagine his cheeks turning red as he listened to his mother recount that moment to him. You liked the thought.

"Why didn't you tell me? I can take a few days off to come and see you, or I can arrange for you to come "ere if you want." His voice was calm, and deep down, you understood that since you hadn't verbalized it much, he thought you were doing fine until now.

"I'm afraid you'll think I'm ungrateful, that I'm not proud of you or that I don't want your success. It's just, huh, it's just not that. I understand that there'll be times when I'll be away from you. I just can't control what I'm feeling." He felt his own eyes welling up.

"I don't think that, pumpkin. I appreciate it when you share your feelings with me. You can always trust me." There wasn't much to say; he wanted to hold you in his arms and see you, something he would certainly make happen in a few days. "I promise I'll be with you soon."

You shook your head, a sparkle in your eyes that couldn't hide your liking for the idea. "There's no need. It might disrupt the boys. Besides, it's temporary. I'm just feeling lonely because I've gotten used to having you 'round the house. I can try going out more; it might work."

He laughed at your attempt, your speech slightly rushed due to tears and tiredness. You looked adorable through his screen, and he wished he could touch your hair and lips. "I don't want you to feel alone while I'm by your side." His words sounded like a lullaby, and they embraced you just like hearing him say "I love you." "It doesn't sound right to me."

"I don't feel alone. I know you'll wait for me to fall asleep before ending the call and going to bed. Alex, I know. I can see how tired you are, and yet, you're here. I assure you, you don't make me feel alone, like, you never did." With gentle, lazy movements, you kissed the palm of your hand and placed it over the webcam. He didn't hesitate to pretend to take them for himself.

"Well, I still need to see you. If not for you, then for me. I'm already going a lil' bit crazy without you, pumpkin." And yes, he'd be there until you managed to fall asleep.

#alex turner x reader #alex turner #alex turner imagine #alex turner x you #alex turner fanfic #alex turner fluff #alex turner x y/n #alex prompt list

[tinyozlion]

Parsing Gundam Wing: 

A Field Guide to a Classic Anime

So, you’re watching Gundam Wing.

Maybe you’re seeing it for the first time, maybe you’re returning to it as a fan of yore, maybe, like me, you’re trying to introduce it to a friend. Perhaps you are watching the English dub, or with English subtitles– doesn’t matter. There’s only one script for both. You’re trying to make it through the first episode, and oh baby, oh baby– What is this pacing? Who are these people? Why do they talk like that? What the fuck is a battle seed? Yes, the robots are cool, but the rest seems like a cursed soap opera. You are understandably hesitant to continue.

 This is normal. 

Take my hand. Shh, shh, come to my arms. You are safe now. I’m here to help. Welcome, brave explorer, to a classic 90's anime that once took America by storm. It’s very good. No, really, I promise, it’s very good.

Now, I can’t promise that you’ll love it! If the Space Opera And Ethics Course With Hot People and Robot Fights genre isn't for you, that's fine, take some hummus and go in peace my friend.

But the rest of you… we are brothers now.

Gundam Wing was lightning in a bottle when it first came out in North America, but even if that particular explosive debut will never come again, I think there’s still a wealth of enjoyment to be had for new fans– especially if like me you love stories that have a lot of depth, a lot of crunch, a lot of rewatch value, a lot of iterative shipping possibilities.

I realize that we live in an era of total media saturation; the notion of investing time in ANYTHING new these days is a tough sell. There are infinitely many things to watch, read, play, listen to-- so how do you justify getting into something that’s kinda old and a little janky? With some parts that haven’t aged as well as others? Something that maybe takes a bit of extra participation to get into?

...As a spoonful of medicine to help ease the media-fatigue, let me share with you something that I've found true in my life: rough edges invite you to participate in creation.

Stories that invite (or demand, or beg) you to participate in them have their own unique value, completely distinct from the value of those that satisfy you immediately; they will reward you for investing in them your time, your creativity, your curiosity.

And I think this is one of those stories! I genuinely want more people to play in this sandbox with me! So, here I am, making a blog about it.

--This is my guidebook to getting into Gundam Wing. It is intended to be a sort of companion, a primer-- maybe a walkthrough? An invitation? to this complex and juicy series.

This won't be a fan wiki-- those already exist, thank goodness, and people can check those out for themselves-- rather, I'd like to make this a repository of context and insight, and to fill in those troublesome missing pieces in the show that are big stumbling blocks to understanding what's going on!

I want to give you what I didn’t have when I started this series back in anno domini two-thousand-and-naught:

All the damn information.

Naturally, there will be more drawings, memes, crabs, very stupid gifs, and probably some crying throughout. And you have my word that I will try and present this in a comprehensive, inclusive, character-agnostic way.

...That said, I am not stealthy! I cannot possibly disguise the fact that I’ve given exponentially more thought to certain characters than to others. You will almost certainly be able to tell when you’ve encountered my Blorbos, my Special Interests--

(Shh, Tinylion! Back in your teapot!)

--But! Look into my eyes. Here is an Absolute, Unwavering Truth about me:

I love, or at least love something about, Every. Single. Character in Gundam Wing. and I will do my absolute damndest to give them each their due diligence, because they're worth it, and so are you.

Thank you for coming, I hope you enjoy whatever you find here ♥

~ Wesley, and to a lesser extent, TinyLion

#Parsing Post #Gundam Wing #TinyOZlion #tinyozlion pgw

[hazyshadeofwintyr]

Dreamling Week Day I: Meowpheus

I am so normal about Dreamling, I can't even begin to explain just how normal I am! Truly! So normal!! The thought of them doesn't send me into a fluffy fluff spiral or anything!!! I promise I'm normal about them!!! Why are you walking away??? Wait—

Anyway, happy Dreamling Week one and all! :3 I don't think I'll write something for every day of it, but here's my first contribution. Expect it up on AO3 at... some point? Enjoy some tooth-rottingly fluffy gay shenanigans. Fuck segues, you don't need segues when you have the Dreaming.

WC: 1,479

----

He was just on the edge of sleep, thoughts drifting off somewhere far away from him. They swayed as a sea, cycling like the tide, the steady in- and out-rush of water and sand. Hob could nearly hear it, if he just listened a little closer— 

A weight leapt onto Hob's bed, waking him from his half-doze. He blinked blearily through the darkness, registering a shape that looked an awful lot like a housecat, only fuck-off huge. A pair of onyx eyes that sparkled through the dim room met his, glowing with distant starlight—the sort that had become nigh-invisible in modern London, so not a reflection or trick of the light—which tickled something at the back of his mind. "Dream?" he mumbled. 

The cat settled beside him, just within his reach. It tilted its head at him. Good evening, Hob Gadling. 

"What're you doing here?" 

Do I need a particular reason to visit a friend? Dream teased, cocking his head. 

"No, it's just—" Hob yawned, cutting himself off. "I'm not used to seeing you without a reason, is all." 

Dream stretched, a low purr rumbling through the bed. Am I bothering you? 

"Not at all." Hob extended a hand, fingers brushing against night-dark fur so soft and feather-fine he could barely feel it. Dream didn't move, so he dug a little deeper, scratching the top of Dream's head. The same bone-deep purr rattled up his arm as Dream leaned into Hob's touch. He was significantly more accepting of touch as a cat than as a... whatever he called that almost-human shape that had graced most of their visits. "I'm not going to make for very good conversation tonight, I'm afraid." 

Then it is fortuitous I did not come for conversation, hm? Dream flicked an ear in a half-joking gesture. Sleep, Hob Gadling. Rest well in my presence.

Hob was, belatedly, glad that Dream had appeared to him in this form—the thought of his hands bruising that marble flesh made his head do all sorts of things he couldn't process. The cat was different—there was no temptation to lose himself in stormy eyes or to kiss the delicate skin in the hollow of Dream's throat. He had spent centuries without even the least sign of reciprocation, but the more frequent visits of the previous six months left him starving in an entirely different way than usual. No, he decided, brushing a knuckle against the warm skin at the base of Dream's ear, the cat was a distraction most welcome. 

He fell asleep with surprising ease for sharing a bed with a large, unfamiliar cat who just-so-happened to be his oldest friend (were he more awake as the words passed his thoughts, he'd chuckle with only the slightest bit of mirth). The deep, soothing purring of cat-Dream didn't hurt, either. It invited sleep, drew it in as though putting him on a sea with his blankets as a wave. Hob wasn't really sure if it was part-and-parcel of Dream's whole thing or not, but the question died like a candle as he faded into unconsciousness. 

They were strolling through an indistinct blur of a park, the sun bright but not burning, each of them holding a cone of soft-serve ice cream. "You must truly wish to see me, Hob Gadling," Dream commented in a voice that had a quality not unlike gravity. His appearance also seemed much more—vibrant or saturated would be the wrong word for how little colour there was about him, but the whites seemed truer, the blacks more absolute. Yet he still blended beautifully with the gentle greens and blues of their surroundings. 

Hob was more awake then he had any right to be, but his mind remained a little sluggish still. At least he could tell he was dreaming. "Is— is this because you were with me?" 

Dream shook his head, the slightest hint of what might be a smile teasing his lips. "No. And I am still with you, in the Waking world. You are the one who called me here." 

"I'm... sorry?" Hob tried, unsure of what one should say in such a circumstance. He wondered if anyone else had ever been in his place before—then dismissed the thought as quickly as it came, a painful pang of jealousy in his heart. His relationship with Dream was still too fragile, still too brittle to test its boundaries. Hob could wait, if he truly had to, for Dream to show some sign of reciprocation; he could also survive millennia on the hope alone. God only knew he'd survived the last few hundred years with little more than hope, at least partially for his strange—and, until recently, nameless—friend. 

Either Hob was showing more than he intended of his feelings, or Dream is just in his head, because those starry eyes softened. "You have no reason to apologise. It is a pleasure to spend time with you." 

"Well, at least the weather is lovely today."  

Dream glanced up at the sky. "Yes, it is," he agreed. 

Hob noticed that his ice cream had yet to melt and tasted it. Tension he hadn't realised he'd been holding disappeared. It tasted like vanilla ice cream, yes, and good vanilla ice cream at that—but beyond that, it tasted of all the times he'd shared dessert with a lover, every hot summer day spent holding hands with somebody he'd loved, every stroll in the park talking about everything and nothing. He closed his eyes and let the flavour wash over him. When he opened them, he found himself sitting opposite Dream at a terraced café, no longer holding ice cream. Instead, his hand rested on the table. 

And Dream's hand rested on his. 

Dream himself remained as impassive as ever. "I find that the weather is fair when I visit you," he mused, lashes beating in slow motion. They were a butterfly's wings, snowflakes falling, a rainbow materialising through scattered droplets of water. 

True romantic that he was, Hob couldn't shake the jolt of joy in his stomach when Dream continued to allow their skin to touch. He wondered how long it'd been since any mortal had been allowed to touch his (his? since when had Dream ever been his?) Dream Lord. "It's been good to see you more frequently, too. And to finally know your name, after all this time." 

"I have come to realise that you deserve a great many things you may never receive," Dream said, "and I feel it is my responsibility to give you whichever of those are in my power." He fell silent for a moment before moving his hand to entwine his fingers with Hob's. Another small smile graced his lips. 

"Is this one of them?" Hob asked, swallowing. 

"Yes and no. You have been an invaluable companion for many years, despite my distance and reluctance to admit it. In this sense, I am merely returning the favour." Dream tilted his head, much as he had as a cat, an unfamiliar sparkle in his eyes. "While I have never paid particular attention to your dreams, I have always been aware of them." 

"Oh," said Hob, the statement sinking in, "oh." His face flushed and, if this were a conversation with anyone else, he would've pulled his hand away to cover his face. Dream's touch simply felt too rare to forego, too precious to lose. "I'm, um. I don't— don't know what to say. Please forgive me for seeing you in that light?" In his defence, Hob hadn't known who or what Dream even was for the first six hundred years, had no idea that his Stranger would be privy to those fantasies. 

Dream—laughed. He actually laughed, the bastard. His laugh was, at most, a dry chuckle, but it was worlds more expressive than Hob ever expected to hear from him. "Hob Gadling," he said, half-smiling, eyes full of care and mirth and secrets and stars, "I am the King of Dreams. Were I displeased, or uncomfortable, with your fantasies of me, they would be well within my ability to stop." 

"You don't mind dreams where I—?" Shag you silly, Hob finished in his thoughts, far too embarrassed to speak those words out loud. 

"You were right, one hundred and thirty-three years ago. I was lonely, and I was too proud to admit it—which, I have come to realise, is exactly why I was so lonely. Only recently have I become aware of my own such... personal flaws." 

"So you'd forgive my being so forward as to..." There was no longer a table between them, only a step that Hob closed with relish. They were so close their chests nearly touched, a breath—though, Hob noticed, Dream didn't breathe—between them. He remained hesitant as he put a hand to Dream's waist. With a smooth, too-fluid motion, Dream did the rest and gardens bloomed glorious behind Hob's eyes.

#Dreamling Week 2023 #Dreamling Week #dreamling #fanfiction #this one goes out to the sadman server \m/_ #sandman #what makes you so special? #fic@wyn

[msawesomegeek]

Little mermaid 2023 Movie Review

A/N; hey look at me reviewing movies! And the day it was release on streaming service because I refuse to give Disney too much of my hard earned money!

Now there were some changes to the story, which we otherwise know, and I will say I have not watched the original in years, so besides some musical moments that I of course know the music by heart I wasn't actively trying to compare the two.

To make things simply I will go over style/tone and animation. Character, some story, music and overall thoughts.

I both really loved and hated the style change, it felt like tonally they were kind of unsure about what they wanted. The ship/shark scene at the beginning was really cool and actually scary, showed Ariel adaptive nature and ability to think on her feet (something I would have loved in Mulan), but the intensity of the saturation of the lighting coupled with the very intense action music, that never returned even for the climax, made it, weird. I felt a little like that with the shipwreck scene, scary and realistic but almost too intense with the score. These two moments just felt, too adult, or too intense and scary to belong with the rest of the movie and honestly in a kids movie! And there was a bit of a tonal clash for the rest of the movie with it trying to be light and magical coupled with the realism of it all, which could have been blended better. It felt insecure, tonally. Like if it would have just leaned heavier into either the realism or the magic, and I would personally prefer the magical version, because I think it suits the most of the movie, then it would have worked. But because it tried so hard to be realistic as well it lost some of its charm and magic along with it. Because these movies were so harsh it was kind of hard to enjoy Scattles musical number. And it saddens me because for a lot of this movie I did enjoy it! Again we have singing and dancing fish in "under the sea", and it was cool, but, would I have liked it to go insane over the top like they did with be our guest? Absolutely! Because the movie is asking me to accept the fact that fish sing and dance! The lagoon scene had this as well, where it was cool and magical but then had to "prove" it was still real every now and then, and it kind of punctured the ballon of this charming scene that had just been build!

Last which is a great Segway into character I wanted to touch on the animation. Was it good for the most part? Absolutely! I adored Ursulas tentacles and the way they were used! And most of the movie did look great! However, I would have liked a little more expression from Sebastian, because they gave him sort of movable eyelids or something that made him be able to have expressions. They just needed to use what they had more! Because sometimes his voice actor was giving it his all while there was a deadpanned crab on screen! And it did not mesh well. But when they DID use it, it just reminded you of why you wanted it all the time!

I did love Sebastian, amazing voice actor, funny but not in a way that stole focus. Same mostly goes for Scattle and Flounder. I mostly liked the way they interacted with Ariel.

Where Sebastian lacked animation and Ursulas tentacles had amazing animation, Melissa McCarthy I was disappointed in. Good singing, sure! But Oh my god, she lacked as much if not more facial expression than the animated Crab! I think it bothers me because I know Ursulas look is based on a drag queen, and because her tentacles were so dramatic, and honestly she is so dramatic. I wanted her to be that all the time. I was honestly bored during poor unfortunate souls, purely because I felt like her expression was giving me nothing. Just evil grin! Not glee not dramatization, not over the top and clearly fake pity! Like her body movement was so amazing and over the top I just wish that had just translated in her face as well! That and as for character developement, it was fine to have her there, but I would have liked just an ounce of affection shown to her two eels like, one throwaway line about: "You boys are the only ones who understand me." Anything! Because I really did LOVE her monster transformation happening because of them! I would have just loved to have that seed of a relationship sown earlier.

Ariels character also lacked some expressions some times but it was overall well acted and she was cute. The only thing I was meh about was her during Under the Sea. Mostly because I would have liked her to play along but be rolling her eyes when Sebastian wasn't looking, anything to make her disappearance at the end of the song justified. That and I loved her putting things in her mouth at random, however could they not just, like, once have her spit out the soap or flower disgusted with the flavor? Like?! Are we encouraging people to eat soap? The humor is that she eats it, just have her spit it out!

Eric. Eric. Eric. Eric. I really did LOVE what they did with his character, and there were scenes, moments, in the hall way on the ship on the lagoon, on the carriage, at the final battle. Where he was amazing and charming and the perfect character perfectly acted! I loved him getting some motivation! Didn't mind his song, but I will get to that one. But there were just moments, and I understand some of them, where he was not meant to be the focus on the scene. But it was almost like the actor FORGOT he was still on the clock and was just kind of there. And it sucked because if he had just acted the way he did in all of those other scenes, given it an ounce more expression, and emotion. He would have been amazing! The scene that hurts the most, and maybe it was due to direction or editing, but he has just lost THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE, his mother tells him they can never be together. You're holding the one piece of clothing, a last piece of her. Do you A look sad for one bloody moment then drop it in the sea? Or B) look at it devastated knowing you can never be together fighting to let her go, but knowing it is a cruel fate you have to face hugging it one last time wishing it was her before letting it go knowing you have to and after your mother puts a comforting hand on your shoulder. Can you guess which option they went with in the movie? HINT: IT wasn't B.

And again maybe it is style, direction, editing, I dont know. but the climax of the movie, is their kiss! There is a song bloody dedicated to it. I would have liked it to last longer, maybe have it be a bit more wow factor? Maybe that is just me? It just felt like, wow, kiss, mwua, done! Like there was a song about it, can we maybe make it a bit more epic looking? And don't argue that people kissing can't be made interesting because I have watched K-dramas and I know about every angle in which that can be done!

Anyways.

Touched on some story elements with characters before, but I wanna get on two last details that kind of annoyed me. One was the vagueness of Erics fathers death, which is like, did he do something to piss triton off? Did he kill Ariels mother? They kind of hinted at it, but in a way where there was no answer so it just felt weird to try!

The other that really annoys me, is Ariel stearring the ship into Ursula. As a detail of women saving themselves, fine, do not give a shit if it is her or Eric! However. She is a mermaid. She ate a flower, she uses a fork in her hair. HOW does she know on her FIRST TRY how to steer a ship?! Just have Eric or anyone show her how to steer once! Use half a scene on it! Just show us that this is now a skill she has, because it will still be dramatic and her having to do it without legs, but it would make her master of both worlds and really show look I know how to apply my old and new knowledge! It is just a detail, but it kind of infuriated me, because it would have made the climax much more impactful and knowing it could have been done smoothly. Even with just Eric trying first and failing and then her understanding and doing it would have been enough! Doesn't even have to be earlier. But anything to show her learning this skill would make it more impactful because that means we saw her both emotionally and physically learn to defeat the villain!

The music, was good. I did not mind the new songs, I did love the gossip song. Ariels flexing her runs was a little eh for me. I understand that they probably wanted to make it her own and change some notes, but it just took from the emotion, which she nailed in some parts, and someone showing off in a vocal riff just pulls you from the emotion. Musicals are about singing emotions! Musicals music are about when emotions become so big you have to sing them. Musical artists flex vocals yes, but they NEVER do so at the cost of the emotion of the song, or they are singing and not acting as well.

Erics, song. Oh Eric, Eric, Eric. Can you tell I have a weird relationship to this guy? The end of the song, was kind of good, I will admit his song did grow on me. I dont remember if there was a reprise before Ursulas entrance, but shame if there wasn't. However, musically I think the gossip song fit more in with the rest. I understand it is supposed to be his Aria, and Part of your world is special, but it just felt very, Les Miserable. It reminded me SO much of Valjean's Seliloquy, down to the tonality while he ran reminding me of the ripping the papers scene. It was just. It was bad, then it grew on me. I was confused as to if it was actually him singing it, and it seemed not his tone (maybe to be pitched a bit higher), and he may be in agony, but the song was musically just too les miserables for me, and I love Les mis!

Overall it was an okay moments, a lot of missed opportunities and places it lacked. Especially Ursula and Eric could have been improved. Where Cinderella remake and Aladdin remake had some magic and made me happy, the Mulan remake made me angry, and the Lion king made me just bored, this movie makes me kind of, sad. I think because I can see some choices they made, and how they genuinely tried. There were some amazing moments between Ariel and Eric, there were some great things, but because there was only a few changes that had to have been made to make it great it just made it, mediocre. I really wanted to like this movie. I really did like parts of this movie. But most of the time, I was thinking about what should have been.

So I give this movie a sad 3 out of 10 Dinglehoppers.

Tell me if you agree or disagree with me! Or if there is something you want me to review next.

Geek, out.

#movie review #movie #movie recommendation #movie reviews #rant #the little mermaid #little mermaid 2023 #disney live action #disney princess #Little mermaid review #Disney live action review

[conduitandconjurer]

lila threatening klaus didn't make any sense because both her *and* diego followed reggie the next day :/

I know. :(

I'm gonna be candid here, and I know this is an unpopular opinion, so if people feel the need to unfollow or block, I won't take it personally. Here goes: the way Lila intercepts and threatens Klaus is really just one small symptom of a larger trend I see between Diego and Lila as a couple, that makes me very uncomfortable.

Put simply, I love Diego and I love Lila: separately, not as a couple. And I think she needs him much more than he truly needs her, but his sense of loyalty, his sense of duty/obligation, and his resolve not to become his own father, are keeping him with her; that, and the circumstances of the world ending, and Lila being the only person left that Diego has ever had romantic feelings toward. But "we're the only ones left and we've been through trauma together" does not a good relationship make.

Diego needs the space and the patience to learn how to verbalize his emotions. He's deeply traumatized, and he needs a partner who will help him work through his sense of insecurity and his determination to help others while coping with all his own problems silently and alone.

The entirety of the Stan "experiment" is not funny to me; when Lila told Diego in an insensitive and even almost snide way, about Stan's real identity, and he stuttered for the first time since Season 2 (the person who made him stutter last time was REGINALD, so let the implications of THAT sink in), I think my heart shattered into a thousand pieces. I admit to personal bias here: I'm an educator, and I work with kids who have disabilities on the regular, and I can tell you that that moment was indicative of major problems in that relationship. Diego stutters when he feels unsafe, when he feels undermined, when he feels insufficient. Lila is brusque and impulsive; she is insecure and will risk other people's wellbeing, their feelings, to make herself feel more secure--the reason why she hid her real pregnancy from Diego until she could "confirm that he could handle it." As much as Diego hates talking about things, that's what he needs, and Lila doesn't talk, she just acts, and often selfishly. She really is not equipped, because of her own (entirely valid) issues, to take on a romantic partner that way.

I'm not saying that Diego is a saint or that Lila is despicable. Again, I love and enjoy their characters, separately. I'm saying they both need and deserve to heal, but don't have what each other needs. Unfortunately TUA has never prioritized the pursuit of healthy relationships or healthy emotions. The series is too saturated in bitter gallows humor and the articulation of the whimsically, satirically bizarre. But that means Diego and Lila are likely to continue to be a canonical couple, and I genuinely fear that this will prevent either character from experiencing the sort of personal growth that we saw in Klaus, Viktor, and Luther this season (or even Allison and Ben, albeit backwards, in their case).

I think for a lot of Diego and Lila fans, part of what convinces them that she fits in perfectly is that she's the same kind of fucked-up as the Umbrella siblings are, so it's easy to imagine her as "part of the family" (according to Five and Klaus). Ideally, imho, she would become a much better sibling than in-law.

So yeah. I felt as irritated as you did, by that scene. It was controlling. Lila needs to let Diego make his own decisions. If HE wants to tell Klaus to fuck off, fine. They're siblings, and Diego has known Reginald as long as Klaus has, and has the right to make that call, about how much he wants to be exposed to their toxic father figure. That isn't Lila's call to make. Nor does she have the right to threaten one of Diego's loved ones with unending physical and emotional torture.

I know Diego's not great at self-preservation, but no relationship works if one partner calls the shots for the other, without involving them in the decision making process of their own welfare.

And I don't dislike or blame Lila for this. I blame the writers who thought that scene would be funny and that that dark humor overruled any problems of characterization that it might cause. Humor at the expense of characterization is one of my top five pet peeves of fiction, lol. Grrrr.

#media crit tw #character crit tw #Dilila crit tw #critical cw #negative cw #meta #kinda i guess lol #You Look Like Antonio Banderas (Diego) #Never a Frown With Golden Brown (Lila)

[kharmii]

You really need to reconsider the way you think about trans people for both your sake and the sake of the lgbt community as a whole

Why?! -Because I don't support medical experimentation on humans? I was fine to be live and let live when it came to freaky things trans people chose to do with their own bodies, but when they started coming after the children, it was time to speak up. The mutilation of children in a healthy society would trigger wars, but we are too comfy and well-fed to be up in arms.

Still, it isn't popular. Your average low info voting left wing goober who will support every left wing cause out of fear of what people think of them will still get creeped out by the idea of putting kids on puberty blockers....at least where I'm at. There are enclaves of really far leftist whack-a-doodles who will give a weirdo mother with Munchausen by Proxy accolades when she like, "Oh, my little precious four-year-old likes to dress up like a Disney Princess. Let's CUT HIS FUCKEN DICK OFF!!!" (My first thought when I found out about a certain YouTube personality whose mom transitioned him at kindergarten age......most obvious victim of these crimes against humanity).

Seriously, it's weirdos like that who I have an issue with more than trans people themselves. Many are victims of a terrible culture. Secular progressivism, -which has killed more people than all religious wars combined- is an ideology that pretends to want to help you but somehow manages to be best at wreaking carnage. Popularization of trans culture has undoubtedly left a huge pile of dead bodies in its wake already.

-But I'm off track. This was supposed to be an anti-surgery post. Before surgeons jump straight into mutilating healthy bodies as some sort of twisted performance art, they are supposed to do it on lab animals first. How would that even be possible? Is a female animal able to tell a doctor that taking testosterone made them stop giving a damn? -That female hormones in a male animal gave them symptoms of being bipolar? -That their new genitals are still numb five months post-surgery, so they still are unable to enjoy sex and orgasm? That their hair is falling out, blood is thickening, back is covered in acne....that they are becoming enormously obese from their hormonal imbalance? Is this all 'wait and see' shenanigans that often lead to suicide? -And now they want to normalize doing it to children?

When I read Game of Thrones back in the day, there was a part where one of the princes of the Iron Islands cut off his finger playing a game. The Maester (doctor) did an experiment where he sewed it back on, instead of letting the guy lose a finger, as was tradition. When the guy died of sepsis, they punished the maester by cutting off his finger and sewing it on so he died the same way.

That would be a fitting punishment for the ghouls who do horrific experimental transgender surgeries on vulnerable citizens. Lets do some experiments on them. Why not transition someones fucken ear into a vagina? Then they could identify as a person with a vagina in their ear. -Or how about one of them gets a womb routed into their bunghole Omegaverse style. Oh wait, they actually killed an 18-year-old boy doing something similar where doctors made a vagina from bacteria-saturated colon tissue. How many lab animals received the rectum-vagina before it was attempted on a human? Who had the power to approve that obviously fatal experiment? (Click the link for graphic photos everybody should have to see who supports this nonsense.)

Even better....let's turn the unethical surgeons into some of the stupid fetishes the pro-shippers are into on here. Every biological female has to be an a/b/o alpha with a penis tucked into her vagina, whereas the males have to be omegas with ass-wombs. At least one of them has to transition into a male with two dicks. Let's make it a mutilation extravaganza and gouge out a few eyes, maybe cut some legs off at the knees! *fist pump* -Because let's get real......transgender culture is one part mental illness and two parts everybody's stupid fetishes. Fucking up our children might even be a fetish to these monsters. A lot of people would be better off cross-dressing and retaining the ability to enjoy sex with the equipment God gave them. One that note, I'll leave you with one last Tweet of Gold:

#transgender #transtrender #trenderqueer #experimenting on children #experimenting on humans #leftist culture #cockamamie bullshit #the usual bullshit #at least there's no omegaverse #oh wait... #way to send me an ask then block me #game of thrones #srsly tho #ask me about my million stupid bj aus #josef mengele

[notverynymphetlike]

In the Time of Chimpanzees

Writing means a ton of self reflection. Half the point is putting all or some or none of yourself, and at least trying to know how much of yourself is there. I think I self-reflect a lot, people say I’m aware of myself and my shortcomings and what would’ve, could’ve, should’ve, or will fix them. I don’t do any of those things, and I don’t know how to force myself to. I don’t know how to force myself to do things I genuinely enjoy, like going to class with really good professors. I don’t know how to force myself to do difficult homework. I know I should. I know I should’ve gotten dressed and went to see a friend from back home I hadn’t seen since graduation at Market Wednesday. Knowing what I should do should be half the battle, that’s what tests are, they’re about knowing what to do, and then doing it. I was a big reader as a kid, apparently the library was cheaper than whatever other options, and it was fun to hang out with my mom like that as a little girl. Anyone who self-describes as “a big reader as a kid” has probably had a phase where they really wanted to be a writer. To write books and be known in history. Then it fades. Then I wanted to be known in history. Then I wanted to be a journalist a la Lois Lane and Vietnam and history and labor movements and helping people. Then that seemed impossible. I was told for years that I was smart. That I should do STEM. I looked around and saw that no one wanted to do chemistry so I figured the job market wouldn’t be as saturated. I did well in economics. My essays, when I turned them in, had a lot of voice and sources. My math homework was complete, science concepts understood. I don’t know what;s wrong with me. I really really don’t. It can’t just be losing structure. Losing almost everyone I’ve known and being thrust where I have to be outgoing. I’m good at being outgoing even if I don’t keep up with the new people. My last, turned in, writing assignment was filled with voice, no sources because it was about an experience I had, how would someone not have voice writing that, and comma splices. He told me to consider a double major in creative writing. Maybe I am depressed enough to be a writer. To write about the sunshine rainbow of what I should’ve been here. I want to make people happy. I want to make the world a better place. I want to live well. I want to know what’s wrong with me. If someone read my shit in a hundred years in an english class they probably could diagnose me better than a school lmhc or my mother. I’ve always thought that being pretty would make people less mean to me. That I’d get a seat at the plastic table. Despite the head bullshit, I am pretty. I’m 5’ and hit 108 on a bad day, but usually ~105. I’ve got a 25” waist, 34” bust and 34” hips. My face is fairly symmetrical, dumb eyes that look turquoise when I cry and green in the sunlight, and full lips. I know time will take the full lips. My teeth are gradually becoming more crooked and yellow, I don’t wear my retainer and I think falling asleep when I’m actually going to fall asleep is better than brushing my teeth. My nose could be smaller, it’s not a little button, but it’s straight and not huge. I’ve got cheekbones, and lost most of my baby fat. I naturally toe the line of dirty blonde and brunette, so once I got the go ahead from my mother, (she puts the blame on dad for not letting me dye my hair, she bleached her hair in high school her mother was a hairdresser for a hot second) I lightened my hair. It dreadlocks even more easily and I recently had to grip and rip a lot of it and then cut the dead ends. The last time, and only since hitting double digits I’m pretty sure, I went to a hair salon for senior prom. I asked about what kind of hair I had naturally and the lady told me a thick amount of fine hair, so right now I do still have a normal amount of blonde hair that now holds a curl. Being pretty, if I am, in fact, pretty, has not fixed all the problems I thought it would. Being outgoing and a spectacle has not fixed anything. Last night someone put my shoes in a garbage can and no one told me, not even the pretty girl I didn’t know who must’ve seen someone put the shoes into the trashcan by her. The spectacle of going down the stairs into the pool wearing a dress in ~65 degrees only made me cold and cost me $7 for half an uber, someone pawing at me, and having to walk half a mile at 7:30 AM. Everyone likes feeling wanted, and the easiest way I’ve seen to get that hit is to be confident and fucked. If you’re being fucked, that person wants you. My parents were good parents. They tried their best. I can handle a man a foot taller than me screaming in my face, a man half a foot taller than me screaming at his car, and get lovingly annoyed at someone getting really intense about football. I get upset and shocked when someone white says the n-word, I graduated high school with a weighted gpa over 4.0, and only needed 3 classes to finish a general AA. I despise the field of therapy, even though I know that’s what this is, me trying to figure out what’s wrong and what to do, I just don’t have someone analyzing and judging me. I know it can help people, but we have brain scan technology, if something is wrong with the brain, just do that. I always need proof for everything to a very obnoxious degree. I had a really bad cough where green phlegm was flying out earlier this semester. I accidentally hit my phone with it, and saved the spit for when I went to the doctor to get it checked out because even though the cough felt constant, what if I didn’t cough in front of the doctor. My mom got me an IUD the summer between sophomore and junior year because I went on social media at the end of freshman year saying this guy had fucked me, and covid hit sophomore year. I took trig that summer too. We’ve known, for about as long as you can know, that I have ADHD. I still haven’t been diagnosed. My kindergarten teacher had to give me extra worksheets because I did them so fast and was distracting everyone else. My first grade teacher had to come up with a new behavior system for me because I was too talkative. I get along really well with people who have ADHD and are good with their coping strategies, usually meds. I don’t get along well with other undiagnosed but ‘know they have it’ people. Like poles repel. I talk fast now. I don’t really think before I speak unless it’s a compliment, I might forget what I’m gonna say and that would suck. My father, when I was younger, wouldn’t wanna listen to anyone else at the table. That does include my mother. I don’t have any siblings. Just now, typing it out, I wonder how he would’ve been if I had a brother. My parents were super young when they had me, older brother wouldn’t have been possible, and at the time when it was the worst that I can remember was mid-elementary, so a younger brother would’ve spoken just as, if not more, stop and start and lackadaisical as I would’ve, and he didn’t even wanna hear about my mom’s studies while she was getting her master’s degree. Her master’s degree in a topic she was passionate about, and found interesting. Most people like listening to that stuff, unless you’re working a job you hate, doing a bachelor’s you’ve stalled out on because you had a kid with that woman and you need to support them. The only bright parts of his day back then seemed to be meeting dogs. And that was all he wanted to talk about. Unless a customer sucked, then we had to hear that story and about how the person was a fat idiot. I eat fast too. I still enjoy good food. I internalized what was probably only said once, and said to many many children who weren’t so affected later on “Stop talking until you’ve finished your food.” They might not even have said that word for word. I talk fast because I wanna say everything, I push every syllable out as fast as I can, I want them to come out all at once so that the person can respond or get back to whatever else they were doing. I hate taking up time. I hated being so dependent for rides in middle school in high school. I never wanted to ask to try out for teams or anything. I had a ‘girlfriend’ before I had a ‘boyfriend.’ I got home and told my dad. I think his reaction would’ve been the same if it were a boyfriend, a weird little ‘ok.’ Like that doesn’t really affect him, why tell him? I seek to prove my bisexuality, I don’t think that’s at all unique to any bisexual. Girls are just way way more intimidating cuz like I’m a girl I should already know what to do, and then getting rejected would suck so hard. I don’t care much if a guy says no, not if it’s in an unserious situation. Guys are guys, they’re a dime a dozen. As I go out more, I’m learning that rejection doesn’t hurt so much if it’s casual and you’ve only known the person for ten minutes, no matter their gender. I get mouth sores the same as my dad. Pineapple has been a known cause. Now he’s a musician and rips people off on etsy. He sets his own schedule and has always been a bit of an insomniac. A conversation that took place 2:30 my time, 1:30 his, was about me getting herpes from going down on a girl. It was over text and perfectly cordial. If someone tells me there’s something actually wrong, I deny it like hell. I feel fine. I’m not one of those. The ADHD thing being one until it really started affecting my grades.

[pbandjesse]

I had a good day! I never actually took a nap but I don't feel horrible. I had a good day and felt good. Though it would get to warm and I didn't love that. But for the majority of the day I was feeling good.

I slept okay and when I woke up I was pretty happy. I liked my outfit and I felt cute. My hair was kind of stuff but looked cute. James said I was so pretty. And that felt nice.

We were about to leave when James realized they couldn't find their wallet and there was a few minutes of panic but it was found inside the hat they wore yesterday in our room and everything was alright again. James was a little overly stressed. And I think that effected me because I got very mad when we were getting breakfast because it was the same guy from before that said he can't take the meat off the number 2 ( the cheaper sandwich) and would only put it for a number 1 (almost $2 more). And I literally yelled over James and said you absolutely can put it in as a number 2! And I was slightly embarrassed but mostly I was just mad because every other person I've ever had puts in it correctly. And I was just not thrilled with this person. Whatever.

We got to the museum and I calmed down. We got everything set up. And I got to work on my loom.

There was a lot of drama and gossiping today. Drama when a tent rental company who was coming for the wedding tonight came at 9 am. When they weren't supposed to come until 3. And they tried to bully the nice Mexican ladies and James had to run and go try to figure out what was happening. It was a mess. But it was handled by James and Ann and Stanley as best they could.

But then there were slight snotty emails about it after. And just general gossip about shitty behavior. And people deciding they will be retiring and me being like. Maybe I get your job in a year??? Who knows what will actually happen. But then there was also Ann finding out I only get paid when she goes home. Which she did not know was the set up and felt so bad! And I was like no it's okay! You didn't know! So now she wants to get them to pay me so maybe she'll say something.

I had a good time at the market though! I got all caught up on my knitting. I sewed two new bears. I made a bunch of sales! Half price bears still going good but I also sold a totebag and a few other things and that was just really encouraging and good.

And then Ellen and her boyfriend were there!! I was so glad I got to say goodbye to her again. And she got to say goodbye to market people and James. And I got to meet her boyfriend and he bought one of my bat prints which I don't think I've ever sold before so that was cool!

And best of all I got to give her one of the bridesmaid pins that I got for the girls. And I explained why I got them and what they mean to for me and she got a little teary and I told her even though she won't be there that that doesn't change how important she is to me. And it was just such a nice way to be able to say goodbye.

But there should be no crying at the market. So she headed out. With lots of love.

I spent the rest of the morning just enjoying the weather even though it was a little to warm. I enjoyed working on my arts and chatting with Ann. And I met the new vender who is an older gay man who makes driftwood planters. He also has psoriasis and we compared out spots and he was really nice. I hope he comes back.

At 1 I packed up. I wanted to buy a flower from Helen but she just gave it to me even though I kept trying to give her my money. But then I went inside to say goodbye to James and they had gotten me a whole bouquet of flowers!! They are such a beautiful saturated color that really reminds me of James and that was just so thoughtful.

After I said goodbye to James I headed out. I was to hot and getting tired. But I was happy.

I got something in my eye on the way home and was having some trouble keeping my eye open for a little but it was fine and I made it home in one piece.

I got up here and I put everything that needed to go in water in water. Trimmed the ends on an angle like I learned, leaves above the water. And I changed into a lighter dress before having a little lunch. It was a good day.

I attempted to wash all the hammocks in the tub and it went okay. They are hanging on the fire escape to dry before I pack them up. But then I tried to wash my camp pillow and my two stuffed animals and it went so poorly. They became so stupid heavy and the water got all brown and I just got everything in the bathroom wet. So I failed. James said they will wash them in the machine instead and it will be okay but man I felt stupid and overheated and tired.

After picking up the apartment a little I laid down. I wouldn't sleep, just scrolled on my phone. But it was nice resting.

James would get home not long after I moved back to the living room. They would change our sheets and put the new duvet on before they went to start laundry and then they made us a fabulous dinner. The corn was very good and the fancy spicy topping on it was great. I love them so much.

I would spent a lot of time going through my clothes. I am not done for sure. But I started with sweaters. I have so many sweaters. And like. I do wear them. I chose like 5 to get rid of but I still had. So many. It's because I don't really wear shirts. I just wear sweatshirts all winter. I only have 3 long sleeve shirts. But still I have so many. So I decided to just pick out a few favorites to have in my closet for now and the rest are under the bed in my drawer.

And then I started going through my storage clothes. And everything hanging in my closet. And things were hard. I have a lot of stress tired up in my clothes right now. A lot of guilt.

I think this very hard because like I was very happy with my wardrobe on the spring. And then summer kind of made me feel weird about all the stuff I have that I didn't wear. And it's always hard to think about being cold when it's still warm out so I don't want to get rid of thing I might need. So I was frustrated. And guilty. And I had to talk through that with James.

I just hate having so much stuff. I also love so many of my things. But I did do an pretty good job being realistic. I didn't get rid of as many shoes as I probably could. Butbi got rid of 5 pairs and that is not nothing. And I got rid of a bunch of other stuff and that felt good. I paired down my closet a lot and will keep trying to pare down. Because I want to wear my peieced more, and get a better cost per wear, so I think streamlining my wardrobe is a good way to start.

I took a bath soon after finishing that. Washed my hair. I did my eyebrows a little. And now we are in bed chatting. Jess just showed me some stuff form Scotland. I know her trip wasn't perfect but I'm glad it was beautiful at least.

I have the next two days off and I am so excited to have no expectations and just time to be by myself in our apartment. I hope it's just. A great day. For you as well!

Sleep good my friends. Love you all so much.

[ledenews]

Eli Lambie: It’s the Smiles That Measure His Success

He was 15 years old – and looked maybe 12 – when he timidly introduced himself to live music fans throughout the Upper Ohio Valley, and that’s because he had decided he was ready to perform in from of more people than his family, friends, and his classmates at Wheeling Park High. His name? Eli Lambie … and wow, one must ask themselves, who does the kid look like? Since then, Lambie has performed the platinum tunes from back in the 1960s-70s, he’s composed and performed classical arrangements with the Wheeling Symphony Orchestra, and while it has always seemed he can play every existing instrument, he has fine-tuned his vocals to “Wow, who’s that?” levels. Now, Eli is an award-winning music educator in Marshall County that parents feel lucky to have in their school district. It was his peers and administrators who voted for him to receive the 2023 Society for General Music Teacher of the Year, and he’s been the music teacher at Washington Lands Elementary for the past five years. It did not take that long, though, for Lambie to reach a different milestone, one connected with his career as a live performer and as a band leader here in the Upper Ohio Valley and beyond. For a few years after emerging onto the live and local music scene in the Wheeling area, Eli was a piece of someone else’s orchestra, but now he’s the conductor of his very own, Eli and the Mojo Kings. THAT’S IT! Right? You’ve got it! That’s when it finally comes to you! The look-alike! It’s that movie actor, the one from Spider-Man and The Lighthouse, Aquaman, and Platoon … that Willem Dafoe … that’s who looks just like Eli Lambi. Wow, lucky actor ... lucky Uncle Willem, that is. Lambie has been the featured performer with the Wheeling Symphony Orchestra. What do you cook really well and how do you know you do? I wish I could say I cooked something well, but I am an awful cook. Here’s a brief anecdote to sum up my abilities as a chef; When I was a kid, I followed my mother’s cookie recipe while I was at home on a snow day. I used confectioners’ sugar instead of flour and…. well… you can imagine how that turned out. Today, I take great pride in my ability to make a mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich on an English muffin. I’m fortunate to have a family and friend network of fantastic cooks, and I eat very well when I’m on the road for shows. If I’m invited to a dinner and need to bring something, I’m bringing the wine! (I’m known for always bringing great wine to dinner parties thanks to Corey at Casa di Vino in Center Market.) What musical genre do you prefer the most, and why? I don’t have a single genre that I prefer most. My tastes are always changing, and I go through phases of playing and listening to different types of music. One genre I always seem to come back to is classical music. I love listening to Chopin, Tchaikovsky, Liszt, and other Romantic period composers. Their music is timeless, elegant, and beautiful. Eli and the Mojo Kings play several gigs each year in the Wheeling area, but they perform outside the area as well. For what reasons did you form the Mojo Kings, and do you feel the band has been as successful as you thought it would be? As a young musician, I had the honor of playing with many talented artists. I enjoyed being a part of their projects, but I was ready to start my own. Our valley is saturated with talented musicians, and I’m fortunate to have eight outstanding musicians in my group. Success is difficult to measure, and there is always room for growth. I don’t know if I knew exactly what to expect going into the Mojo Kings, but I have really enjoyed how the journey has unfolded for us thus far. I am proud to say that we have brought happiness to a lot of people through our music. The group gets better and better every year, and I can’t wait to see where our journey takes us next. Why do you believe you’ve experienced so much success as a music educator? When I was in school, I had many tremendous music educators that inspired me to pursue music. They modeled how bringing the gift of music to their students can change their lives for the better. Without their positive example, I wouldn’t be the teacher I am today. I love what I do. Making music with my students brings me great joy. We are always singing, dancing, moving, and playing instruments. Keeping students engaged in class helps them to grow a love and passion for music. When I was in school, I was not the easiest student. I was creative, off the walls, and always thinking/acting outside of the box. These quirks have become an asset in my teaching. My wild lessons use music to take students everywhere. When students enter my room, they never know where they’re going to end up. We could end up in a foreign country, on the face of the moon, or in the middle of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. When students leave my room, they leave with smiles on their faces, a greater sense of connection to the world and the people around them, and a love of music. Eli enjoys collecting cool cars when he's not creating original music. If you could play one role your uncle has played in a movie, what role would it be? I don’t think my acting skills would ever come close to measuring up to my Uncle Willem’s. If I could do anything, I’d love to write the film score for one of his movies. I love writing for orchestra and believe that great music can make or break a movie. Read the full article

[speciosuspoematis]

@aetherbled || He had the letter, scented by the parchment being kept near the sweet pea's within the greenhouse, delivered by a moogle companion. 'T was wrapped in a pale blue ribbon, pressed closed by a wax seal, a beautiful white rose in accompaniment.

My Dearest Leandre, How long has it been, now, since mine eyes have been blessed by the sights of you? For each day, my dear, that passes without your most welcome company do I feel as if part of my very soul withers in loneliness. My eyes are desperately waiting for the sights of you; how I only wish you could realise how fascinatingly beautiful you have always been to me, and how you have acquired the most elusive key to my otherwise heavily guarded heart.

I have known no such gentleness since I was but ten winters old, yet the very moment you so gracefully stepped into the woeful confines of my weighted existence was I nigh engulfed by it - a softness to rival the very clouds in the heavens.

Oft, do I lie awake and I find my mind wandering to you, if you too were awake. You have drawn me away from the darkness in this abysmally difficult period of my yet young life, and have shared with me the beautifully sacred mystery of adoration. I have written of it time and time over, spent hours drawling over scrips of love and stanza's of heartache - but it is only of late that I have truly felt the utter spirit of it.

A few nights prior, when I was lay with my gaze fixated upon the heavens, did a thought hit me. Nay, t' was not a thought - but a realisation that had been drawn from the very chambers of my heart, one I may have noted long prior had I a better sense of observation and understanding of aught outside of the realms of drowning melancholy and woe. The thought, the understanding, filled me with equal measures of elation and fear and it thus lead into the most astounding spiral.

I oft wonder, as I did once more this night I speak of, how you so willingly repeatedly enjoy my company when I have done naught but drive countless others away. Few willingly linger near beings nigh saturated in sadness, and yet there you are - so often, mercifully, seated to my side - - reminding me of all there is to love and adore upon this star.

In the end, no answer I can fathom does aught to soothe that curiosity, and thus I return back to the first thought in which had swollen within mine consciousness; you.

Your presence - - it gives me grace, light and warmth. I would, if I was a holder of the talent, to paint you but there are no colours that would suit your ethereal nature well enough.

Oh, Leandre- if only my mind would allow me the ease of writing this letter, if only I could scribble these vowels and constantans as easily as I feel that in which I do. And yet, when I need it the most do my skills fail me and so I must apologise... that this letter is so incredibly jumbled.

But that thought swells ever larger within mine head and I can do naught to ease it other than to simply blurt it out, to release it from the prison of my chest.

I love you, Leandre; with the entirety of my heart, my soul and my mind.

Henceforward, I am yours for everything for I have been for some time. I am but completely beneath your spell, and within your power.

You have given me the highest, completest proof of love that ever one human being gave another. I am all gratitude, and all pride- and know, that if I am to write anything fine and noble in the coming future that I would very much like to do so only by listening at the doors of your heart.

My darling, each time I see you if feels as if it was for the first time, filled with admiration and utter adoration; and even if you did not love me in turn, I could not help my devotion to you.

I shall take no more of your time this eve, and with the entirety of my heart do I hope you find contentedness and comfort-

Rest well, Yours always, Cyvel Lamoureaux.

#Poetry is the Spontaneous Overflow of Powerful Feelings. It Takes Origin From Emotion Recollected in Tranquillity || Replies || #AAAA A A A A AAAAA

[cobaltcarbonpotassium420]

Travelling with you

My friend and I are planning a trip to Italy in the summer this year, and the plan has been thrown off a lil bit since she's off to Spain with some other friends too >:( I'm not that annoyed really, but I thought I'd write something vaguely inspired by it. idk I'm bored and I don't feel like doing actual college work xxx

I'll be honoured if anyone reads this at all. kinda just busted it out in a few mins

We're meant to go to Italy together this summer. You've just dropped the bomb on me that we'll have to delay our plans, because you're going to Spain with some other friends. I pretend to be angry.

The truth is, I've not felt anything in a while. I've not been happy, or sad, or stressed, or angry. Even hunger, thirst, and tiredness don't hit me as hard as they used to. There's no vibrancy or saturation to anything I do. Everything feels neutral, like a boring, dull beige. But the one thing that made me feel excited was the thought of going to Italy with you.

It was meant to be our first solo holiday - one without family, one where we could pretend to be adults even though we're just some idiot 18 year olds who finally want some independence. I don't know about you but I don't feel like I'm 18 already. I still feel like a four-year-old, and I've just moved to England. I didn't know you back then.

Now you're going to Spain with your other friends, and that's fine. Really, it is. But you're my only friend. I don't talk to a lot of people. I don't have that sociable attitude, and I don't exude the warmth you do. You're my one tether to the outside world. Without you I'd be holed up in my room, only leaving to go to college, and nothing else. I go places with you to spend time with you, not because I really want to go anywhere. But you enjoy shopping, so I dutifully take the train with you, to some big new city where I've never been before, so we can piss around in the changing rooms of a retail chain and try on clothes we know we'll never buy and look at furniture we know we don't need. We don't even have anywhere to put it. So we just look, and say "Oh my god, that table is adorable!". I mean, we're only eighteen. What use do we have for a fucking bedside table. We don't even have a way to bring it back with us.

Sometimes I get a little miserable while shopping, but it's only because I don't like leaving the house much. It's a lot to deal with, and I'm sorry that I can't just keep it to myself like I normally do with everything and everyone else, but with you I feel okay getting a little pissed off at how busy all of the food places are, or at how those guys looked at you when we were just walking. I wouldn't dare do that around anyone else. Only you.

Maybe I'm too jealous. You're my closest friend, and yet you're my polar opposite. How I managed to become a part of your life is a question I think about all of the time and still cannot answer, or even begin to fathom an answer for. I admire you. Everything I admire about you is something I wish I had. I guess that's what pisses me off about your girls holiday to Magaluf. But I'll suck it up. It's just five days.

#creative writing #writing #ramblings

[jan-uinely]

hot takes continued

here we go. season 12 episode 12. 

so. it’s time to chit chat about drag race. if u dont like my opinions sry. 

this is gonna get bigger than one episode or one season. this is meta drag race. 

but first i guess the episode. right. so. obviously it was a “musical” so obviously i wanted to see jan sing and obviously she did not. I do think that this challenge [not necessarily placed in this episode] would have been a great time to do a like returning queens. but i digress.

i think that it was a little muddled. like it wasn't like any of the “girl group” numbers where it’s just the verse and chorus. all of the verses were placed in different spots throughout the show. I also think it’s ironic that this whole episode is to promote this live vegas show which is obviously not happening right now. but alas. 

i agree with bob in that i liked jackie’s verse the best. 

i did not love gigi’s outfit in the challenge. you couldn't make out the heart as easily bc the red was all the same color. I also think the material used was too chunky- it was quilted. i would have rather had the heart be quilted, not have a corset underneath it, and have the rest of the top part not be quilted. i thought it was a good concept but i would have preferred different #choices. i also would have rather the hair been straight instead of curled.

i did not have a huge issue w crystal’s orange and green outfit. i also appreciated the callback stars and stripes hair. though maybe not together?

jaida was good as per usual. i want her to win, but we will get to that later. 

also let us note the basketball wives hair that made a comeback [gigi, jackie]

runway time.

crystal and ******’s outfits did not fit the way i wanted them too, and the problems were both in the hips. when i saw them i thought the hips should be exaggerated, but instead they both looked weirdly deflated. and crystal’s torso section could have been brought in. [i did see on instagram that the person who made crystal’s look [casey caldwell who is a nyc based designer, works w a lot of neoprene/thick materials- just look up on instagram caseyyalater] actually made it for dragcon and crystal bought it right there, so it wasn’t tailored] 

in the dior v dior battle, i thought gigi won. jackie’s dress was just i think a little too large [not in terms of tailoring, in terms of diameter] but it was very jackie

gigi said that her outfit was quintessential gigi, which i think it interesting bc if you look up showgirls performances, it very much is. however in terms of the character portrayed on drag race i didn’t think it was. it was very well made, etc. but it just didn’t fit the “perfectionist trope” of the show. 

jaida is once again wearing a gown with a presequinned fabric, which i am not mad at. it is quintessential jaida. 

critiques. 

again ooh we have to nitpick bc we accidentally cast too many winners on this season blah blah blah. i was not a fan of when they said oh well we will have to look at report cards. as if they didnt intentionally load up gigi and ****** with wins at the start of the show. 

and then it’s like oh well jackie and crystal have to lip sync blah blah blah. and you know that jackie is going home. bc the judges absolutely love crystal, all because of that mullet. 

to quote bob “I used to be really upset at queens who won the judges with their personality” and that is still mostly true for me. i don’t think her placement is unjust or whatever, but like if ru didn’t like the mullet, she would not have been given the confidence boost to turn her trajectory around, compared to jackie and widow and jan, who did most things right but just were not rupaul’s fave, and must have had a much more difficult time mentally on the show. 

and FWIW heidi falls into this category as well. race chaser i think said it - all of her success comes from ru’s ideas. and being naturally funny and charismatic and having ru like you as a person is a huge gift and huge talent, but the inability to wrangle it...  that being said i think she deserves the world and will grow [and has already grown] from this experience.

and the thing is that crystal also keeps going back to the same stuff which could have been funny if the episodes were more than one apart or if she didn't do it twice in one episode but. idk. 

now, who will win, who should win, hmm hmm hmm. tbh i don’t think it will be crystal. they just crowned the oddball and they like to mix it up, or at least try to. also why looking at the history of dusted or busted scores [and s/o to jan for coming in @ 4 [after the disqualification]] crystal is at a 2, and bebe won with the lowest score at a 3 [w 2nd and 3rd place at 4 and 5], and that was in season 1, which was a whole other ballgame. leaving us with jaida and gigi. i am team jaida. i think that she is much more developed as an artist and performer than gigi, and I think that she will bring us something new.

[here comes the meta part]

the title is america’s next drag superstar. and i think in the beginning of the show, they decided that that had to mean something new and exciting, something that pushed the boundaries of what drag could be [which is rly ironic coming from them but]. which has developed this culture of what is the formula to be successful on drag race. and some people were more overt about this [jan] and some people were more subtle about this [gigi and jackie]. 

but for some reason, the [Black] pageant queens will make it to the top and then never win. - and they’ve had overt conversations regarding pageants and pageant culture on the show before - but balls and pageants were like the building blocks of drag culture in the us [from what i understand]. so inherently that means it’s no longer “new” and exciting. but the thing is that so many of these fashion [/nyc] queens work so exclusively with these high end designers to produce these looks [i think bob said it can cost like 10K to prep all your stuff for drag race] and with that the ability to design and sew falls away. 

and i think that is reflected in the challenges and how they have changed. this season there was one design challenge. and that is just so disappointing to me bc i think the design challenges really separate who has a full understanding of their persona and who does not. 

and with fewer and fewer design challenges, you have more and more designer items, and the ability to create something has fallen to the wayside. personally [and i will probably make another post about this later] i want to bring back the design challenges in one of two ways. 1. have an all designers season. where drag designers work to make elaborate costumes based on a prompt and given certain materials. bc on the show designers are not credited as much [that part comes on instagram]. 2. i want to have a drag race blank slate competition. where contestants audition and are given a list of prompts but cannot bring anything except like a notebook. no prepared outfits. you can sketch designs to the prompts, but all the materials are provided. contestants still have a main challenge and a runway, but rather than 2 days, they are given a full week to execute the challenge and the outfit. this would totally change the game in my mind. like one you wouldn't have to have money or take out loans to compete, you could just come and show who you are. and two the audience could see more of what goes into this stuff. AND if drag race really wants to feed us, they could do like a wed. ep and a friday ep. to spread things out. 

my favorite challenges are design challenges, and while i think the first challenge this season gave us a better introduction to who the contestants are, the design challenge is a really good thing to have at the front. 

i do think that if they had not had the debate that there would have been another design challenge in the mix, but bc it was an election year. 

anyways, i want jaida to win bc she’s excellent at what she does. and at this point there is something new and exciting about making all your own clothes and being polished and knowing who you are.  and tbh gigi doesn’t bring anything new to the table. sure the ability to sew and design is good, but compared to aquaria and violet the designs were not as diverse or inventive. on top of that, the fact that gigi is outwardly apolitical [and doesn’t understand the connotation of “privilege” in today’s times] is just not a good look. I also think that it is interesting that gigi came in as the look queen but actually did better in the acting challenges. 

idk my main takeaway is that gigi is really really good at playing other people, and with that comes a lack of self awareness. striving so hard to be perfect can come at the cost of not knowing who you are as an artist. like gigi’s brand is literally “im that bitch/bitch” which again, just isn’t what i want in a winner. 

and tbh the gigi bug bit early but ended when ru gave her the win on the madonna episode. [i will say that jackie could have won snatch game but tbh i was annoyed w her for being a little dickish to the safe girls that week [though what she said was totally understandable] and also i <3 jackie cox [and chelsea piers we stan chelsea piers in this house] i think there is something so gr8 abt being a nerd and being prepared and being on brand about it. also jackie is always the one to hop on the dolls’ lives and comment their venmo. hashtag cool aunt jackie. [though that here for cox t-shirt and the promo photos make me uncomfy though i get it]]

re jackie coming back to complete the top 4... IDK it’s nice and all but they've already established that they don’t want her to win- otherwise she would not have been eliminated. 

also in my mind there are only 12 places so jan actually came in 7, widow 6, heidi 5, jackie 4. 

anyways these are my thoughts. as usual, raw and unedited. 

#i guess what i'm saying is that i would love to produce drag race #but i hate la so i guess that's off the table #drag race #hot takes #rpdr s12 #this is very long #so be prepared #i would like to think that it is high quality content #but we shall see #if u want more hot takes my ask box is always open #as u know i have no life #i just rotate between instagram twitter and tumblr #drag race season 12 episode 12 #im a ramblin gal #so enjoy my thoughts on this fine satur day

[cartierbin]

pls , dilf!bangchan 🥺 with a huge size kink ! thanks if you’ll do it

ofc baby. maybe I should make a separate masterlist for miscellaneous requests.

『 pairing — chan x reader

genre — smut + dilf!billionaire chan fucking his babysitter

word count — 1.322k 』

smut under the cut !

“nana”, the smaller three year old boy tapped your arm whilst rubbing his eyes. the day was getting too long for him to handle and after spending it playing with you he was quite exhausted to say the least. “nana I’m sleepy”. he whines with his blonde curly hair disheveled over his eyes. he was a spitting image of his father with his thick lips and tiny face. you place the last toy in his toy chest. “you want to go night night baby?”. you coo and watch him nod his head in response reaching his arms up so you could lift him.

you hauled him on your chest rubbing his back while his head fell into the crook of your neck. he was so precious and sweet he melted your heart each day you took care of him. when you finally carried him to his room you tucked him in his Superman blankets to which he appreciated greatly. he cups your cheek and kisses it tiredly. “I love you nana”. he whispers just before turning over. nana is what he called you instead of “nanny”. the word nana was much more appealing to him. much more adorable to you. while tucking him in and planting a kiss on his forehead you hadn’t known the his father was watching your actions from the doorway, admiring the way you loved his son. owning a record label never gave him enough time to give baby chris the attention he needed. his mother was out the picture so you were definitely his only hope.

he admired your love but as of now he was also appreciative of the way your clothes were fitting you. just tight around the curvature of your frame and he couldn’t help but to watch you as you bent over, kissing baby chris in one of the many short pleated skirts that you owned. his eyes grazed over the way the hem of the skirt stopped just below your ass. you were startled when you finally realized the man was there. he usually didn’t come home as early as this. “oh! good evening mr.bang”. you bowed graciously in front of him. a small smile creeped along his lips. he sized you up, enjoying the fact that you were barely the same height as his shoulder.

“you don’t have to do that sweetie. I’m here a little earlier than usual but I’d just like to say thank you for taking care of my son the way you do,”. he fishes out his wallet, “I know I already have you on payroll but I’d like to pay you a little something extra if thats alright with you”. he informs while pulling out fat wads of cash. your eyes widened nervously at the amount. “oh mr.bang I don’t think I can take all that. what you pay me is just enough”. he smiles at your modesty. “It’s fine. just take it sweetie. by yourself something nice with it”. you shake your head. “it’s really alright. I love baby chris like he’s my own”. he crinkles that cash in his hand. “I’d really love to pay you something extra for your services. Is there a way I can do that?”. he asks, and by the way his eyes were already fucking you, you already knew just how he wanted to pay you. his energy wasn’t unwanted either. you’ve had your fair share of fantasizing over the sexy billionaire for months. however you thought it would be hard to even get a chance.

but here you were bending over his luxurious living room sofa with him beneath you, gripping the cheeks of your ass spreading them apart while he was sucking your pussy from behind. your hands grip the soft material of the pillows with lewd moans falling from your lips. his tongue slid easily around your pussy because you were gushing with each move of his lips, every single one being much more powerful than the last. he slams a hand down on your ass while wedging his lips in between your sopping folds, earning a sharp whine from you. “mr. bang”. you stammered into the couch cushions in a tiny muffle. he slid upwards giving you a long languid stroke before tongue kissing your creaming pussy with little regard for the loud wet sounds his mouth was making each time he pulled away and went back for more. each time he went back you felt yourself contracting and oozing more, saturating his lips and chin to the fullest.

you were still throbbing when he hiked your hips up, the height of the couch still not being substantial enough to bring you to the height of his hips. he flipped your skirt up and relished the way your pussy looked with streams of white all of over it. he cinched his fingers around your waist and inched his lengthy veiny cock in between your folds, feeding you everything he had until you were filled to the brim with his cock. you took an astonished gasp feeling him inside you completely stuffing you. he dropped his head back and licks his lips. “your pussy is so small and tight fuck”. he groaned trying to get used to the feeling. he never felt anything more pleasurable in his life. he draped his body over yours and you could feel his cold chain sweeping over the back of your neck. your mouth was still agape from him entering you but now he was absolutely drilling you, not giving a single fuck about his intensity. almost as if he were waiting for this moment just as you were.

his thick lips kissed the back of your ears, licking and sucking hickies into the back of your neck. “what are you doing princess? hm?”, he groaned and whispered all at once, “what are you doing being this small and taking dick this good? who taught you this?”. if you could talk you would tell him that absolutely no one did and that in fact, he was the biggest you ever took in your life. you didn’t know how you were even functioning with eyesight and hearing, because chan was fucking the thoughts out of your head and the breath out of your lungs. you could barely moan without becoming winded, everything coming in half syllables that came to abrupt stops. he slaps your ass with a stinging pain. “you’re so fucking cute. I could fuck your pretty little pussy all day long”. you shrieked and clutched another pillow with your body jolting forward from the roughness of his thrusts. your walls were clenching harshly and an overwhelming bliss curved flames in your belly. “I’m going to cum ngh fuck it feels so fucking good”. you whine on the verge of tears. chan smirks. “this is how big girls get fucked princess. can’t you take my dick like a big girl?”. you shake your head trembling underneath him. “no I can’t- I can’t I’m fucking cumming please mr. bang”.

it was hot hearing your cum drip to the floor beneath you both as he kept fucking you until his cum filled your pussy to the brim just like he dick did. by the time he was finished with you you draped over the couch wearily, wondering how the hell you were going to be able to walk to the door. you were so fucked out and tired you were incomprehensible of doing anything active anymore. he kisses that weak spot below your ear again, kneading his hands into your ass massaging it like dough. “go upstairs in the guest bathroom and get yourself cleaned up. I’ll drive you home later”.

#Chan smut #bangchan smut #stray kids smut #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #skz smut