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#so idk maybe this was intentional or maybe im just a bit too into country
muirneach · 1 year
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i’ve connected the dots
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sleeper9 · 3 months
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James Paul McCartney 73 special
I’ve been wanting to watch this for awhile! Finally the time has come to watch this baby!!
Okay opening with little tidbits, fun cute. Is it just me or does Linda’s section read very John esque…
Oh Paul’s is quippy too… did you write these questions so you could give funny answers Paul?? Wait wants this about love of your life:
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Linda the kids?? Did you leave someone off Paul? 🤨 hmmm sus
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Of course the famous vest looking over shirt with necklace combo!! This look was a whole Harry styles era!! Paul looking at linda all shy and blushy but also doing his little poses for her! He’s so femme here… gosh what was going through his head during this period he was just so free and girlish with Linda… Francie said he was so afraid he wasn’t manly enough (we knew) in 68 but he truly seemed to swing hard the other way in the 70s.
I can’t believe linda is just taking pics the whole time and he’s also making her SING with him?? The way he looks at her like “sing with me sing with me”… heart of the country is a cute song
Linda crouching in this way with her dress over her knees … reminds me of the story of her seducing someone famous like this (I can’t remember who)…
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Mary little lamb 🙃
It’s crazy it’s only 3 years after the Beatles and Paul looks SO different. Maybe that’s the intent behind the radical change. Or maybe he’s just being trendy idk (boring). But also 3 years in Beatle time was also radical. I mean 64-67, that’s a crazy difference.
I mean honestly this is not that different from give my regards to broad street really just has no narrative squeezed in between the music set pieces… he really should have just left broadstreet a tv movie then he wouldn’t have gotten so much hate for it lol
I’m honestly like … yeah I get it John it’s boring listening to all these slow hippy songs one after another
Oh spoke too soon do we have a narrative?
ENTER : LIVERPOOL
Lived there most of me life (have you technically Paul?) … he really busted out the scouse for that one
I feel like Paul’s tryna capture the thing he’s always talking about with his family but he honestly just looks nervous and tense this whole time… he doesn’t seem to relax until he’s a bit drunk and even then he glances at the camera …
OOP, “people call me a stick in the mud” right after that
OH PINK SUIT PAUL HERE WE GO
Paul truly loves a big dance number doesn’t he… even tho he clearly can’t dance really… once again something he’s too nervous to do naturally. Him dancing in this big boots he’s taking little steps cause he’s nervous about tripping ! They chose to speed up all his dance routines probably cause it looks so slow so he could keep up with them. Insert of someone else tapping in those shoes.
I like Paul saying America has better movie popcorn… it’s because it’s not sweet probably!!’ Who wants sweet popcorn at the theater it’s gotta be buttery and salty.
A Beatles medley you say????
I bet Paul was like I’m definitely NOT gonna sing a Beatles song 🖕🏼 So they were like er let’s just get some normies in here
moving on a concert now-
Paul’s bum is just not looking as plump as it used to 😔
Omg right before they started playing maybe im amazed he talked to the guitar player and at first I thought he kissed him but I watched it again and it looks like he kinda aggressively grabs him then pushed him away… hm!!!
Honestly sometimes I don’t mind the mullet but sometimes I really HATE it… and I’m really hating it during maybe I’m amazed
Omg I was like wow I can’t believe he’s STILL playing long tall Sally it’s really his jam but then girls jumped up to dance like mad!!! Are these some original Beatles girls or what?? Scruffs? Are you out there?? (I think the scruffs had just disbanded by this point but I know some of them still followed Paul around, even tho Linda would do everything to get rid of them). now everyone’s dancing! Hes still got it boy
The famous strawberry jacket!! (Strawberry fields forever?)
Oop that’s the end I guess… well good night Paul!
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factual-fantasy · 3 years
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I got 25 asks that took me WAY too long to reply to! :}
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I have two top favorite episodes, the cone snail episode and the beluga whales episode.
When it comes to my favorite part of both episodes..?
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..Not happy parts...
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I have absolutely no idea what you just suggested.
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(Referring to this post)
Thank you! That was the intention. :} I was worried that their faces all looked weird..
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You want to learn more? Man.. maybe I should post that headcannon draft..
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Yeah haha, this blog has taken quite the U-turn hasn’t it? I’m just glad everyone seems okay with it so far. <:} I’m excited for season 5 also! I hope it comes out soon! :D
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THANK YOU, I WILL CHERISH THIS LOVE YOU HAVE GIVEN ME FOREVER
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Yes and no.
Does he think of his crew as children? Absolutely not. They are all fully grown, intelligent and capable adults, and he darn well treats them like it.
But you bet that if one of them is in danger or is frightened, he’s dropping everything he’s doing and rushing to their aid as if they’re his cub that just wondered out onto the highway.
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ME TOO! I always felt like he had this fatherly vibe to him with some professionalism sprinkled on top. Like he’s always looking out for his team because he cares for them and worries about them, but its kind of disguised as him just doing his job as the Captain.
I plan to draw more Protective Barnacles because its my jam, so don’t worry! That side of you will have some more fuel soon XD. And thank you for all the compliments! :}
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Daww thank you, it twaz nothin. I’m just glad that people want to see my art.
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Well, taking everyone into consideration, the tallest is Captain Barnacles, and the shortest is Tomminow. (This little guy 👇)
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The Vegimals aside though? Peso is the shortest. 
(And thank you! I’m glad :})
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Honestly? Awful. I feel like absolute garbage, I just hope this will all finally go away soon.
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Not really no, and no thanks on the cookies, I shouldn’t eat anything until I get super hungry because everything gives me stomachaches.. But a hug would sure be nice right about now.
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I can give you a link to their wiki pages if that’ll help, I’m not really good with my words and you can learn everything you need to know about them there. <:}
Captain Barnacles (The polar bear guy)
Kwazii (The orange pirate cat guy)
Peso (The bby Penguin doktor)
Shellington (Tall Otter boi)
Dashi (Doge girl with skirt)
Professor Inkling (Fancy squik)
Tweak (Green bunny country gal chick)
The Vegimals (Little veggie dudes)
All the Gups (Metal fishes)
The Octopod (Momma metal squik)
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Whos the youngest Octonaut? Well, if we’re not including the Vegimals, I’d say its probably Peso. And the oldest is most likely Professor Inkling.
Does anyone have claustrophobia? Yes! Captain Barnacles canonically does. He got trapped in a deep hole in some icy caves as a cub, since then he’s been afraid of tight and closed in spaces. I have extended on that fact and thought of many different scenarios relating to the aftermath of the Octonauts movie, but you know.. still not confident in all this Octonauts stuff so I haven’t posted my headcannons yet. <:/
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Novelas translated into English means Soap Opera.
You think so? I feel like that’s not Kwazii’s thing, he’d probably like horror movies and action filled movies. But Peso probably would like them not gonna lie, him and Dashi would probably watch them together.
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Well, in my draft post I’ve got two headcannons for her so far.
Tweak likes sleeping in the launch bay for the #1 reason that she can hear the water sloshing around in the bay. Which mimics the sound the water in the swamp used to make when she lived there with her Dad.
Tweak gets bad migraines when she’s sick, so the other Octonauts have to do a lot to accommodate her. Because the beds in the med bay aren’t that soft, she prefers to sleep in her room when she’s sick. But then the usually comforting sounds of the water in the launch bay become pain inducing. So the launch bay is emptied of all its water, the lights are shut off and, unless its an emergency, no one is allowed in the launch bay until she recovers. 
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I looked it up, and its true.
KWAZII WAS A GIRL IN THE BOOKS?? THEN WHY IS HE A BOY IN THE SHOW?? WHY DID THEY CHANGE THAT?? WH??? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like this Kwazii more than I would any other version of him, but still, WHY’D THEY CHANGE THAT?? IM GLAD THEY DID BUT WHY??
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Hmm.. let me think...
Captain Barnacles most likely doesn’t ever have uninterrupted free time, and even when he does, he probably still prefers to be up in HQ where anyone can find him if they need him. But lets say for the sake of it that he has some free time and he takes it. He’d probably either want to play his accordion, or want to read a book.
I feel like there’s a lot of different things Kwazii likes to do in his spare time, but goofing around in the Gup-B is probably his favorite.
Peso probably likes to do puzzles and play his xylophone.
Dashi probably reads books while listening to music. How she does both of these things at the same time I have no idea.
Tweak probably plays video games.
Professor Inkling and Shellington both probably read books in their free time.
I’m not too sure what the Vegimals would do in their free time though..
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Oh yes, indeed it does. 
Before becoming the Captain of the Octonauts, Barnacles had to ask himself,  “Am I really ready to be their leader?” Can he handle managing a team of that size? Can he react to situations fast enough and make the right choices? He thought it through and believed that yes. He was ready.
But he wasn’t. He wasn't prepared for that gut wrenching anxiety when one crew member goes missing. He wasn't prepared for the crippling heat that most everywhere else has compared to his home. He wasn't prepared to become so attached to his crew that the thought of something happening to them keeps him awake for nights in a row. He wasn’t prepared for that overwhelming nausea of missing home and his sister. 
There was a lot he didn’t know. They’d all turn to him when something went wrong and ask if everything's going to be okay. He’d say “don’t worry, its all going to be okay.” but he’s just as unsure as everyone else.
Now don't get me wrong, he’s not this completely hopeless and unexperienced Captain that bit off more than he could chew, no. There’s just somethings he didn’t think about before becoming Captain of the Octonauts.
Now usually he can really keep himself composed almost always. He’s very level headed and very good at thinking his way through things, But sometimes? He just.. needs a break. He usually cant get a break because he’s the Captain and always needs to be alert, so everyone else that sees it usually tries to help.
Some crew members, like the Vegimals and Kwazii, have a habit of following the Captain around when they see that he’s tired to keep an eye on him. Others like Shellington and Dashi tend to give him space and keep things quiet for him. Some crew members, like Peso and Tweak tend to clean up around the place to take some weight off the Captains shoulders, they all help him out in some way.
Professor Inkling will sometimes find an excuse to pull him aside to have some tea with him. They’ll sit and talk for a bit but then he’s back up on his feet and back to work. This poor bear..
..hold on.. was this a drawing suggestion?
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Dashi and Tweak would probably hang out in Dashi’s room and goof around. Not sure what they’d do.. maybe read, talk, play games or.. idk pillow fights? I don’t know what girls do on a girls night.
As for everyone else? I also am not sure, I don’t know what all those characters with all their clashing personalities would do on a boys night. Maybe they would all watch a movie? All attempt bake something obnoxious together? They seem like the kind of characters that would do that.
I’ve never been to a girls night or a guys night, so I don't really have much of a base to go off of.. but both groups would probably get together and do something they’d all enjoy. Guys maybe a funny movie, and the girls just talking and reading books? <:D 
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For real that’d be hilarious. Imagine if their voices were deep and gruff too but they just make them sound high pitched for fun?
Dude that’d be so funny. Like Kwazii’s up to his shenanigans again blabbering on about some sea monster or what have you, and Tunip out of nowhere just goes,
“Kwazii legit stop, we all know that you’re just talking about some ordinary sea creature that pirates interpreted as a sea monster.“
The whole crew gon be like
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If this game existed in their world and they all played it.....
Captain Barnacles would make it through a pacifist run and would be satisfied. He’s some kind of weirdo who doesn’t think of characters as real people and doesn’t obsess over them and cry about them. Overall he thinks the game is pretty neat, but probably not his type of game.
Kwazii would want to test his skills by attempting a genocide, but his heart of gold would get in the way and he wouldn’t be able to complete it. He’d feel terrible for killing goat mom, reset and go hard pacifist next round. Overall he thinks the game is awesome.
Peso would want to talk to every character so they’d all be included in the story. He’d go full pacifist and cry over the story and its characters. Overall 10/10 for him.
Dashi would probably cry over the game a lot and would never attempt a genocide run because the characters are now her family.
Shellington would hate the fighting parts so would delay those bits by walking around and talking to characters over and over again.
Tweak would go through a neutral run because she sometimes accidently kills weaker monsters. Overall she loves the story and its characters, 10/10 would play again.
Professor Inkling would become invested in the story I bet. Complimenting the story arcs for the characters and its creative game play. But I feel like he’d only play it once and probably wouldn’t beat it, but would have fun with it none the less.
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Thank you!!!♡♡♡ Man, I never expected such a positive response to switching to Octonauts, I cant believe everyone is so excited about it! I’m so glad you like my Octonauts art, that really makes me feel better and like what I’m drawing is worth while. ɷ◡ɷ
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Aww I’m glad! And oh yeah, the animals at the end were always scary. Remember the Boo the spookfish?
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Boo was a cute little googly eyed fishy boi who was just so sweet and somft until the creATURE REPORT AND I-
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THAT’S MY QUE TO YEET THE COMPUTER
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Dawww thank you!! I tried. <:}
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libraryofmegharoni · 3 years
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The Traitor Queen (The Bridge Kingdom | #2) [Danielle L. Jensen]
started: May 08, 2021 finished: May 08, 2021 rating: 4.5/5
review:
so we got the utter heart break of Aren finding out about Lara's betrayal in the first book and we get the impact of it here.
i'll start from the beginning, which is where i partially have issue with. the book begins with Lara having fled Ithicana and Aren captured by Lara's father and in his compound in Maridrina. we get a brief kind of recount of what happened in the world between The Bridge Kingdom and The Traitor Queen, but just like how i was still kinda confused about how the world was set up in the first book, i was still a little confused about all the events that happened between the books. to be fair Jensen does a solid job of making me forget that i was confused in the first place. the couple time characters either reflected on the 'past' or were informed about the events that happened after Lara left Ithicana (or Maridrina at very beginning) it wasn’t the clearest explanations?? not the best way to phrase it but idk how else. like the writing was fine and understandable but i didn’t feel like there was enough explanation of the events between books to make me fully understand what happened. that's not to say there was nothing to fill in what happened, maybe im just (which is highly likely) because i just wanted more. ahh ok so i think the best way i can describe it is that there was a surface level explanation of the events that supposedly occurred between the first and second book but not anything more in depth in detail. which considering im a very detail person, i want to know everything there can be known, i want everyone's full history and actions and rationales and intentions and everything else about all the main characters. and i don’t think that it’s actually a fault of Jensen in this or the first book but it’s just what i ideally want out of a perfect book.
anyway other than me being a picky bitch and just wanting more when i like a book, broooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo it’s so good.
i mcfucking loved the tension between Lara and Aren after she organizes his rescue. but before that --
THE REST OF THE SISTERS.
one of the first things i said to my roommate when i was reading the first book was "i cannot wait until all the sisters come back and completely fuck up their father" anD GUESS WHAT??!?!?!?!
THEY FUCKING DELIVERED SO GODDAMN HARD
it was perfect that there was one sister who was super against what Lara did and came to Ithicana to murder the King and Queen (but ultimately failed and was killed by our Queen Lara). the rest of them living in small groups but never too far apart from each other - perfection, just perfection. them being 100% down to infiltrate their father's compound - beautiful. them willing to rescue the man they were all trained to hate and want to kill because Lara loved him??????? THE LOVE BETWEEN THE SISTERS - THE SHARED PAIN - THE RIDE OR DIE MOTHERFUCKERS THAT THEY ALL (minus the one Lara kills lol) FUCKING ARE -- I LOVED IT SO MUCH AND I WAS SO HAPPY IT PLAYED OUT PRETTY MUCH EXACTLY HOW I WANTED IT TO
i loved Lara sailing to Ithicana's island of Eranahl to talk to Ahnna about freeing Aren and her actually sailing there all by herself proved how dedicated she was to saving him. i just loved how the first book drives home just how terrified Lara is of the open sea and how it is the only thing that scares her and the only time she sails be herself in the second book (bc we know she fled from Ithicana by island jumping) is to save Aren.... and Ithicana but mostly Aren. its shown time and time again how much Lara came to love Aren and how much she was willing to risk or give up just to save him. TEH FUCKING ANGST      I LOVE IT  !!!!!!!
so yeah i just really love the dynamic between Lara and Aren in this book. they both know that they cannot continue to be together after Ithicana is free but they desperately want to. they've grown to love each other and despite Lara's betrayal, they both trust each other. but like for his country, Aren cannot recognize Lara as the Queen of Ithicana or his wife anymore. bro that scene broke me. it came right after Lara tried to leave Aren and he was essentially like "no it’s not safe here for you to go now, im keeping you with me". so yeah Aren having to admit that he doesn't recognize Lara as anything anymore HURT. and i loved how Lara was also hurt by that. they love each other so much but their situation and the world want to rip them apart :(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
the final battle was confusing and seemed a bit fast but ultimately so satisfying. i guess it kinda started with the battle on Gamire Island when Lara got injured saving the life of Taryn, Aren's cousin she has befriended in the first book when she was Queen. also Lara saving her was just big proof to the rest of the Ithicana that she was there to fight to right her wrong and get their freedom back.
anyway so Lara gets injured and it was so sad to see how she knew she was seriously wounded but didn't believe that she was allowed to ask for help from the people whose lives she helped destroy and ended up going off on her own. it was so heartbreaking when Aren went to go patch up Lara and end up caving into sleeping with each other. he promised her that they were leaving in the morning and that she could rest then he went back to camp and realized that he could never leave her if he didnt in that moment and told them to get ready to leave - i started crying so much. bc when Lara woke up to everyone gone she thought that that was the plan the whole time and that Aren lied to her to leave her and then she was hit with the fact that it was Eranahl that was being attacked, and put away all her heartbreak and was determined to sail there to help against the Maridrina navy.
how she realized that it was her father on one of the ships and dueled him - so god damn hot. her swimming through the shark infested water to get to Aren????? ughhhhhh im crying. her up against the portcullis telling Aren to leave so he would live??? im crying even more. Aren desperately trying to save her bc he knows he cant live without her???????????? im bawling. her waking up in the bed she's familiar with?? im hopeful. Aren telling her about the trial by sea (and sharks) method used in Ithicana and how she passed so the sea has determined Lara is innocent and loyal to Ithicana????? IM BAWLING AGAIN  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i mcfucking knew that it had to end with Lara and Aren ending up together but i didnt know how it was going to happen. and while i wish the trial by shark thing was mentioned in the first book -- like the game they play at snake island with the running through the snakes and climbing up to the bridge and how that was called back to in the second book where Lara had to do the challenge to help free Ithicana. like that little game was a significant scene in the first book with Lara kind revealing her abilities with a bow and arrow and a little bit of Aren's recklessness, want to show off to Lara and how he was as a child. point it is served a purpose and it was a great scene and situation to call back to in the second book, but with more at stake this time. so i would have liked to see someone in Ithicana just mention the trial by sea idea in the first book. i mean when it was revealed i still teared up bc like yeah but i think it could have been a cool thing that was not quite foreshadowed but referenced at an earlier point.
tl;dr - the love between the sisters? perfection. the love between Lara & Aren? heartbreakingly beautiful and such a satisfying arc <3
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hiatus-for-forever · 4 years
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DONT @ ME
or do it idk
SO
THESE WOOJIN VIDS
okokokokokok hear me out
I haven’t been posting my usual content or the content on my blog. MY SCHOOL IS WHACK IN MY COUNTRY OK? And I just kept coming across these and wanted to make a kinda short thingy about it. It’s pretty late and not that big of a news anymore but I felt like I had to get it out of me cuz I feel like some people go too far with hate comments.ii
DISCAIMER: THIS IS BASED ON MY OPINION AND MY ANALYSIS ON STUFF, DON’T COME AT ME IF YOU HAVE AN OPPOSING OPINION JUST TELL ME 
Okay, let’s actually start.
First Imma talk about the sexual allegations against him:
I don’t know if they are real or not. 
We have no way to tell since the person is anonymous
AND IM NOT SAYING IT IS but there is always at least the smallest chance that it is fake
We have no way of knowing.
It is very likely it is real buT there are some sick people that could be exploiting the fact that he left
I am not targeting this person whatsoever if they are in fact, real, but being anonymous stops anyone from finding them.
Basically, I will not send any hate to anyone because there is no way to tell what is happening
And Woojin was FLOODED with hate
This person knew that they might be as well so I understand that if it was real, to do it at a time that people have a a chance of believing them
AND I could be like, did they go to the police? But they won’t say where their from and the reliability of police varies from each country so I get it.
And the super recent company is also sus
The pictures that people are saying that are fake that 10x Entertainment used to justify this isn’t that sus though. These are kpop idols, they take selfies all the time and they don’t post everything so it could be very plausible.
yeah this was a mess
anyway
Closing statement: Don’t flood anyone hate, the person didn’t drop a name so we don’t even know if it’s Woojin (but the hints tho👀) and don’t immediately believe anything on the internet
also I am not taking sides but all this was so much that happened so fast and anonymous accounts make it so hard to tell if stuff is real or believable
Now Imma talk about the alleged bullying in the group
HERES THE THING
THIS is what I am very opinionated about
What I have observed with my eyes and my mind and no one else (this is my opinion I will not stress this enough)
I see that the members actually like/liked him
Here, I am gonna talk about famous clips that clain Woojin bullied them and some general overall behaviour
Bang Chan, the leader, got along with everyone and I see that he is the one that Woojin looked the most comfortable with and Chan seemed comfortable around him too. I don’t think they had any sus interactions since Chan is the leader and Woojin seems to just be friendly with him.
Lee Know. That clip where he hit Minho is the eye with his elbow was pretty sus. If anyone else did that to him they would apologize, and probably laugh about it. Woojin didn’t do this. He apologized and chuckled about it but not enough for it to be a friendly mistake and even Minho, who was smiling when he got eliminated, wasn’t laughing. There are many factors like if they were tired or not but from what you see and the way it happened was kinda sus and over time Minho and Woojin’s interactions got less and less.
Changbin. This boy just seems scared, ok? I’m not saying he’s scared of Woojin but whenever I see them film together, Changbin avoids getting too close and/or touchy as he is with the other members. Changbin is babie, he is fake maknae, he is cute. And he’s normally clingy with other members and always hugging them, especially his maknaes so for him not even wanting to make physical contact with Woojin is sus.
Hyunjin. Mostly friendly with everyone, even Woojin. He’s soft with everyone in the group and even if he wasn’t the closest with Woojin, they were very friendly with each other. The clip of Woojin chasing Hyunjin and Hyunjin screaming and running IS NOT SUS, I will explain it more later but basically, Hyunjin is a drama queen and if it were anyone else, he would do the same because thAt was the game.
Han Jisung. The more famous clips are of Woojin flicking his forehead. It could be a friendly thing and I belive it is BUT it’s pretty off and I will talk about it later. They sang together and had the normal friendly interactions but there are some clips that show how uncomfortable Han is around him and I will get to the main point of most of that later.
Felix. See look, WooLix was a thing and I wasn’t against it. Felix is nice and cute and sunshine and sweet and got along with everyone. That clip of Woojin wrestilng him and him looking hurt is something I will explain along with what happened with Hyunjin, and I do believe that he was uncomfortable with Woojin sometimes. I would also like to point out that after that 
Seungmin. I have no comment because I haven’t seen any famous bullying clips of them
Jeongin. BABIE. All these clips of members protecting him from Woojin. Look, I believe Jeongin and Woojin were super close. Woojin was even ranked number 1 in the Bro Deuce in Weekly Idol. Anyone that says any bit of it was fake, I don’t believe. If it was, Jeongin being the savage maknae, would’ve put him a few rankings down if he didn’t want Woojin to be number 1. Also, the clip of no one picking Woojin as leader of a sub-unit is also sus but Jeongin was the only one to choose him. He probably felt awkward to he hid behind Bang Chan when he changed. I think that Jeongin actually likes Woojin but the other members probably thought he was a bad influence or smth. 
Okay, about the Running man thing. This was a game and Woojin played hard. Maybe a little too hard I think. But the point of the game was to take others names from their back so chasing Hyunjin and taking his and Felix’s names are justifiable but as I said he went a little too hard so I don’t think he noticed that he hurt them.
He also is very strong. Everyone has seen it that he’s strong. He likes to reinforce it, maybe a complex or something, but I think he uses his strength when it is unnecessary and ends up hurting other members.
Also from what I see, he’s pretty awkward around them and doesn’t know what to do during interviews. I think that he wasn’t able to connect with them properly for the most part so doing normal friendly things/banter (Forehead flicking, and other games and stuff) are taken too far.
Also everyone who says “IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN OT8 FCK WOOJIN” annoys me. Like, I do NOT think it was a mistake for him to be part of the group. He had real talent and brought really good vocals to songs if yall forgot. And in the survival show he worked so hard for them to debut as 9, so people who think Woojin was bad from the very start are very insensitive. They were a family, and I’m sure that everyone was disappointed if his intentions turned bad.
Even Bang Chan mentions someone who broke a promise (It’s most likely Woojin) and he sounds so sad about it(give him a hug)
Final statement: I think Woojin has done something that affected other members but I don’t think he deserves all the shit since he is getting A LOT of shit
I’m done, this is my opinion, please tell me if you agree and tell me any opposing thoughts. If anyone even sees this lol
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bucksbisexual · 4 years
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAA OKAY LAST ONE OF MY OPINION POSTS HERE GOES EP12:
[breathes in]
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
i’m so fucking happy with this ending
it’s such a good happy ending this is truly what the gays deserve i’m just happiness in physical form rn
i don’t even know where to start but i’ll try to make this as chronological as my brain allows me because my memory do be sucking
i’m gonna put a keep reading because this shit will get loooooong kjshfkf okay let’s do this
so.. we start with PETE EXPOSING NON(T)’S BRAT ASS!!!!!!!!!! FUCK YES THATS MY BABY THATS MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!
kao’s mom being a fucking badass and telling her BOSS how to do shit. i love her yall I LOVE HERRRRRRRR
also kao’s mom telling kao that she wasn’t the most amazing person ever was so cute because you can see kao’s light bulb turning on sjfkhsgsh please i love them
yes i will say i love x after every single one of these u can’t stop me
from the teaser i thought kao would dashi run run run to pete’s house but thankfully he took a taxi lmao
at least he didn’t run there because he had to run from pete’s house (or may i say, mansion) to the POOL my man is a whole athlete oh my god
KAO YELLING HE LOVES PETE!!!!!!!!!!! IN THE MIDDLE OF A CLOSED SPACE WITH PEOPLE IN IT!!!!!!!!!!!! AND HE DOESN’T GIVE A FUCK IF THEY HEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THATS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT BABYYYYYYYY
also a beautiful parallel to the scene from ep1 (i noticed there’s a lot of parallels in this episode we stan character development and repeating things just so the viewers can see how consistent the couples are)
the kiss from that scene............... beautiful amazing gorgeous idk many words in english to describe how i felt while watching and how i feel about it
to that i think we cut to sunmork but i don’t remember what happened because of the kiss KJHFKSL SORRY
anygays i rlly like how this whole episode is sun being a clingy bih and mork gay panicking while trying to act like a confident gay when he knows that sun outconfidentgays him i love them lmao
okay after that i think it’s petekao having food with their parents all together and god i looooooove this scene
pete’s dad being the lgbt ally dad all of us lgbt fellas with homo/transphobic dads wish we had will never fail to make me soft i love that man pls be my dad too
also kao’s mom :-(( i love her she respected her son’s decision on not coming out until he was ready even though she already smelled it (reminds me of my mom lmao) and was always there for him even when kao didn’t say anything :-(((((((((((
petekao bickering will never get old i swear i love every time they do because that’s so..... men it makes their characters more real
i know there’s a lot (not that much because i admit this episode was kinda short?? idk maybe it’s just me) between that scene and this one but THE SQUAD EATING ALL TOGETHER AGAIN!!!!!!!! AND THEM TEASING PETEKAO!!!!!! PLEASE I LOVE THEM
pete literally not knowing how to stop the audio and broadcasting live TO THE WHOLE COUNTRY that time when he told kao he loved him through the teddy bear...... peak pete culture
the fact that ppl love them and they have a whole hashtag on twitter makes me soft because usually when someone is famous in bls the fans hate the other part of the couple but in this one??? oh no honey we stan petekao in this household hate is not allowed it’s actually prohibited illegal
okay let me backtrack a bit skjfhsjf
OH YES I FORGOT!!!! manow wanting to talk with mork was so weird when i saw the teaser for the episode but after seeing them talk i was like oooooh okay i understand
sun saying “what’s your girl saying to my boy” is probably one of my favourite lines of this drama KLHSJFLF
rain reading their lips fskjfjsf and when mork said “fuck you rain” HIS FACE SKJFHKSJSLFJ HE WAS SCARED SHITLESS but also the end of this scene was so cute i love these three
i just did a bit of skipping through the episode to try and actual make an order out of this mess and the petekao+parents thing comes now,,,,,, anygaYS
then it’s more teasing between sunmork blah blah
then MORK SPEAKING THE MF TRUTH!!!!!!!!!!!!! quoting the actual dialogue “it’s my choice to tell or not tell anyone. i should get to decide”
OUTING SOMEONE ISN’T COOL!!!!!!! IT’S NOT OKAY!!!!!!!!!!! NO LGBT PERSON WILL EVER WANT TO BE OUTED!!!!!!!!!!!!! DON’T DO THAT SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
rain had good intentions but it doesn’t mean that it was right of him to do so
okay this got serious,, sun going to rain’s bed with not one but Two pillows when barely two people fit in that bed.... oh to be that iconic and carelessly gay
back to petekao because we will never get enough of these two (which is why i’ll probably watch the our skyy episode tomorrow just to cry over these fools)
it’s so weird to see tay being like this after watching him being himself in other things like the live lunch and taynew meal date and other things i’ve randomly watched during this week to retain myself from finishing this series in a night ksfjhsfkshlks
also kao helping pete shave and pete being like do u like my moustache or should i shave it for u my lord SFHKFJ the domesticity and just the feeling of two idiots being in love i love them with my whole heart
kao staying at pete’s house because it’s both of their first days as interns and kao!!!!! he works for pete’s dad!!!!!!! pete’s dad accepted him into his company!!!!!! i love them
also the bickering between those three sjfkhs “hello im pete im from thailand” “that’s all you’ll say today” THAT WAS SO FUNNNY SKJFHSKFHSFJSFL
THE MESSAGE IN THE TEDDY BEAR !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! KAO CALLING PETE LOVE PLEASE IM GONNA CRYYYYYYYYYYYY I LOVE THESE FOOLS
okay so the squad eating together is right after this but i already talked about it ksjfhsfh next!!
idk if it’s a big time skip or a small one but guess what!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MANOW AND RAIN ARE DATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY STRAIGHT BABIES YES I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU AAAAAAAAAAAAA
manow is so pretty and rain is so cute they’re both so lucky my bisexual ass is crying
pete being “angry” at kao being so handsome,,, a mood
but also.. pete being possessive was h*t
there i said it and i don’t regret it
random but i will miss kao’s annoying ass saying “about aboyz” sjfkhsfh
pete being like “i will have to give u more love bites (ffs gmmtv just say hickies we are all at an age where we know what love bites are) so no one flirts with u” and kao being like “bitch try me” sjfhksfj i’m loving bratty kao
also that scene turned into furry kao real quick KJHDKJFSHJF
okay now it’s: mork’s birthday party time!!
rain and manow arrive first and are the cutest couple around because the two main gays haven’t arrived yet (being gay AND punctual? not possible)
sun and rain fighting in the kitchen was peak siblings culture skfhksjf
mork being ready to leave his own birthday party with a stranger who also plays pokemon go just to have a battle................ dumbass bisexual energy
said stranger is eARN FROM 2GETHER!!!!!! FILM IS IN THIS TOO!!!!!!!! first the girl who plays yuri in yyy and now film who plays earn in 2gether is here too??? damn wlw keep winning (also headcanon: theyre dating/seeing each other because LESBIANS periodt)
okay petekao arrive and wont u guess whats their present for mork,,,,,, the mf TEDDY BEAR and kao rlly says that they should use it since theyre so lip sealed lmao
rain and manow literally gave mork a present not for him but for sun im- i love these two
MORK FINALLY SAID YES TO BEING BOYFRIENDS OH MY GOD DUDE U ACTUALLY HAD ME WORRIED THERE FOR A SEC
also sun being a whole koala and being a horny bitch is so funny sfhskfjskl my man has his priorities set
their last scene is so cute :-(( poor rain will have to live with this until he moves out sjfhksjf
oh boi the ending is near hhhhhhh
kao teaching his class an equation that ends up in i < 3 u is the most kao thing i’ve ever seen
also kAO IS BOOKED AND BUSY BABYYYYYYYYYY GET THOSE COINS HONEY
pete being like “u haven’t spent enough time with me lately >:-(” was cute jhkfjs my man is needy of kao and i understand that because have u seen kao? exactly
kao teasing him with not having forgotten the cup this time and pete being his possessive self was.. splendid
every reference to something that happened with non(t) hurts but also i love how they just tease each other because they know that now their relationship is stronger than it’s ever been and that nothing and no one will come between them
the scenes they show during the last last scenes :-((( BOYFIES!!!!!!
and i love how they decided to end the show with them holding hands in public
i would explain why i do but it’s 6:26 am and i’ve been writing this for at least half an hour already and my laptop is heating up a lot and im sweating because it’s hot in here so get down on the floor pipiipipipipipipi
kdjhkdfhs sorry im not sleepy this is just my brain without a filter it’s just gay shit and a big repertoire of songs
god okay that was my opinion on the last episode of dark blue kiss...........
needless to say that i will eat every bit of content related to petekao after this because writing this i already miss them and i can’t wait to watch our skyy tomorrow idk where but i will
i really really REALLY liked this drama and it’s one of the two bl dramas (not counting the untamed) i’ve given a full 10/10 rating on mdl because it’s THAT good
everything about this drama is just.. chef’s kiss i love it i will probably rewatch it when my plan to watch is empty but it’s a pretty long list so.. hopefully i’ll ignore that and just rewatch sjkfhslf
i’ll of course watch kiss and kiss me again just for the petekao, the squad and rain scrumbs because i’m sure that the petekao compilations don’t show everything
but yeah im just.. i love this show it’s been a rlly long time since i started writing this but i’m still happy because it’s so good and truly gave us a good happy ending and i swear i cannot emphasise enough how important good happy endings in lgbt media are!!!!!!!!!!
anygays im hungry and ready to submerge myself in the dbk tags, see u all tomorrow for my our skyy petekao episode version of this,,,,,
till then, stay safe ! bYE
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jeonggcooky · 5 years
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abyss season finale thoughts & overall remaining questions
- i loved the drama, but i feel that the ending was rushed and had a few plot holes - which honestly is probably attributed to the “rookie” script writer. not the fault of the actors, who all did an absolutely amazing job.
- that last episode definitely had me sobbing for a good bit. i literally skipped ahead to see where min returned and set a timer for myself so i could bear with how much suffering i had left...
- i love park boyoung so honestly id enjoy anything with her in it, and ahn hyo seop was to die for. the casting choices were hella on point. (dongcheol became one of my fave characters, ngl.)
- the soundtrack for the whole show was amazing! i 100% support having suran on any ost.
- ok what the fuck happened to heejin tho? she ran jiuk the fuck over, probably shouldve been in legal trouble, was left out of most of the finale, and then suddenly appeared to be living alone in the country?? what the fuck was that??
- min’s return made almost no sense, even with the explanation given. how did the old man have all of those abyss orbs? who was he, anyway? HOW DID HE REVIVE MIN WITH THE ORBS IF MIN HAD NO BODY?
- what the fuck did min’s mom do for three years while her son was GONE? why didn’t we get a mother-son reunion?
- what exactly was park giman’s relationship to judge seo?
- it REALLY fucking sucked that heejin’s mom’s body was just fucking thrown into the water in a suitcase and never seen again. it was honestly hella fucked up and i had trouble watching it - which says a lot, bc im not easily disturbed.
- what was the overall motive of oh taejin/seo jiuk and oh yeongcheol? other than covering up the fact that yeongcheol was a serial killer? it was never really clear as to WHY they were so driven to be the bad guys.
- overall, i think the drama wouldve been better received if the plot was written out more fluidly. there were a ton of lulls in the plot that could’ve been fleshed out to prevent ending the story with so many unanswered questions.
- i appreciated the subtle parallels to strong woman do bong soon. seeing seyeon at her desk in chamin’s office was such a cute reminder. idk if that was intentional or not though.
- honestly, the fucking romance scenes and chemistry between park boyoung and ahn hyo seop were A+++++. super well done, i love me some fluff uwu
- MAJOR ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM FOR ME: YALL REMEMBER THAT RANDOM ASS REAPER MAN FROM THE FIRST EPISODE THAT TURNED INTO A FUCKING DOG????? WHY DID WE GET NO EXPLANATION FOR THAT AT ALL???? WHO IS HE AND WHY WAS HE A DOG????
- i think they shouldve had one more episode.. that way we couldve had more questions answered.. and maybe we couldve seen chamin and seyeon get married too??
- i just wanna know how revealing that go seyeon was still alive and NO LONGER MURDERED didnt affect taejin’s imprisonment.
- how did seyeon go from prosecutor to attorney so easily? is that honestly even possible? they made it seem like a simple title change.
- seyeon’s outfits were always adorable, and chamin looked great in everything. the costuming was fire.
- seeing dongcheol and all of his coworkers running around & busting people without any uniform on was hilarious.
- the abyss itself was never properly or fully explained. its existence was a giant question mark to me. if youre gonna title a show after it, why wasnt more thought put into how it worked?
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v-le · 5 years
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Ktravels / Klife: After a year in korea Final Thoughts
Foreword: Surprise, surprise, procrastination got the best of me for quite some time. But im back. And for the last time. At least for the last time regarding my year-long study abroad experience in Korea. Here lies the last bits and pieces of my heart that left behind such a wondrous lifestyle in such a complex country.
--
I guess this will be the last of my “Korean” writings for a while. I think I kept holding off on this because I didn’t want to solidify the fact that my journey abroad is officially over. I guess even being home and everything still doesn’t make me accept reality. All I can keep thinking these days is that exactly a year ago, I was sitting around every day, waiting for my summer to end & for me to hurry up and end up in Korea & I kept asking myself over and over and over and OVER, ceaselessly: “I wonder how my life will change once I live there. I wonder what my life would be like over there”.
And what’s crazy, is that even though I kept desperately trying to grasp that fact so intensely a year prior to today, I still don’t have the answer as I sit here in this seat. I still don’t think I can properly express what my 10 month-ish experience was like. I feel just as contemplative as I did a year ago.
I think ive been holding off writing this mostly because I don’t even know what to say. Why don’t I have anything to say? Hmm.. or more like, I have so much to say that I don’t even want to begin. Because once I do, and then once I wrap it all up, everything will truly be all over. It’ll solidify the fact that my year abroad is all done for, never to come back to me ever again.
I think my final post of my study abroad IG account, the one I posted every single day for, enclosed my immediate, final thoughts and feelings really well. I mean, I literally wrote that on the plane flying home, sooooo…
Maybe I should start with addressing my goals I set for myself before I left, and how those goals panned out upon my return. Very vaguely, one of my main pursuits was to “become fluent in Korean”. Even to this day, im not exactly sure what that constitutes and by my standards, I don’t really know to what extent I wanted to improve based on that statement…. But, I guess I just really really really wanted to practice communicating more and essentially feel comfortable speaking, reading, writing, and listening in this completely foreign language. And I mean even prior to arriving, I had already known how to read Hangul for like 8 years. So in terms of reading, I just got to practice a looottt and just brush up on my speed & precision, I guess. Listening has also never been too much of a struggle: years of pure absorption and drowning myself in Korean in every form possible has taken me this far, to be quite honest. It was never anything intentional, I just held onto more and more words as the years went by. And quite frankly, I’m pretty damn proud of myself for that. I guess my point is that I unknowingly wanted to focus on improving my writing and speaking. Which sounds a bit futile, because what was the ultimate purpose in expanding on these skills? When I cannot even use them outside of Korea? Hm… I didn’t think that far. I just knew I wanted to improve. Or no, I don’t even think I had any real basis before arriving anyway. I just wanted to get exposed to that side of the language and make some sort of progress. Because I enjoy it that much.
I didn’t even know how to write the strokes of Hangul characters properly. No one had ever taught me. For years, for the small words or phrases I might’ve scribbled down for fun or doodled my notebooks with, I just wrote what I knew, like pictures. I still, to this day, don’t know the proper strokes lol. It kinda makes me feel noob, but o well, ive made it this far nonetheless. In terms of speaking, of course, I had absolutely no background. There had never been a chance to practice this skill… in fact, if there were one, if I did speak Korean at some point before going to Korea, I feel like that would’ve been really weird anyway… I wasn’t learning it formally in a classroom or anything, so if I were to try…. To god-knows-who…… I dunno,  that doesn’t seem right to me. There was just never a proper place and time for me to use any sort of spoken Korean, and that made sense. Because I had such a wide range of “skills” under my belt when it came to this language prior to arriving, none of it was… “official”? None of it was ever proper…..? I am not really sure which word fits best, but the fact that I had known everything I knew at that time from pure Korean media absorption, it bothered me a lot actually.
I wanted to learn formally. I wanted to learn properly. So, I didn’t hesitate to take the intensive Korean language course at Yonsei, one that was 4-6pm every day, Monday-Friday, for the entire semester. What I did hesitate with though, very greatly, and a little regretfully, was the level in which I started learning formal Korean. A part of me is regretful, but I think I know in my heart it was the better decision. Speaking Korean with the teacher on the day of the placement test was probably my first time ever really speaking full sentences aloud to someone else & I can sorta recall it with slight embarrassment. Okay not even slight, like a ton lol I was such a nooooobbbb… I still ammmmm….anyway, based on that day’s tests, the teacher deemed me as able to start in level 2. But I rejected him. I told him I wanted to start at level 1. Because ive never learned properly before, I felt the need to start from the beginning. He told me that level 1 would begin with each Hangul character, pronouncing them one by one, etc. He asked if I’d be okay with going over all of that, and I told him it was fine.
My level 1 class ended up being more of a level 1.5 & we went much faster than all the other classes and didn’t even start with the basics that I was originally warned of. But still, quite frankly, level 1 KLI was butts easy and I didn’t even need to study for anything to do well. For that, im pretty proud of myself. I’m not trying to brag, but I’m actually just very glad that my skills I arrived with were at least up to par enough that I could complete 1 without much struggle. What I was most grateful for was that I got out of KLI was a lot of grammar basics. A lot of these structures I recognized and have probably used on my own before, but I didn’t know the rules properly myself, until I finally learned them in KLI. So really, if I didn’t take level 1, I really think I would’ve lost out on that basic foundation needed for learning more advanced things. Granted, I probably could’ve covered a lot of those things in my own time if I searched for the proper resources and had a stronger motivation. But I never did that by myself. So, I sorttttt offfff, “wasted time” in level 1.
The next semester, level 2, was also not too difficult. Some concepts were definitely a bit more challenging and less intuitive, but nothing impossible to understand. Overall, my semester 2 at Yonsei was when my Korean grew to the heights that I had hoped for. If I improved about 10% during semester 1, then I would say I improved 115% in semester 2. I don’t even know what that means myself, but my point is that I had many many manyyy more real life, application opportunities to use Korean. The biggest factor being my participation in Powers, the badminton team at Yonsei, that semester. Aside from the 2729017 other things that Powers influenced that semester, language was a big thing. At some point, many of my teammates considered me the “American that is really good at Korean”, but like, the over-exaggeration is real. Although one dude consistently talked to me in only English for the longest time, once I met beloved 익안언니, that English-only image of me died and I communicated with everyone else the same way they already communicated with each other: in Korean. I know that sounds….like…. idk, not a really big deal. Like wow good for you, you could communicate in a foreign language with these people. But my biggest deal with it was that if it weren’t for me being in Powers, I would not have practiced speaking or expanded my vocabulary or just LEARNED as much as I have. ESPECIALLY meeting 익안언니 was such a blessing. Although she is from Taiwan, she is a grad student studying Korean language and culture which already implies that she is basically fluent in Korean. And me, knowing absolutely no Chinese but at least having half-assed Korean skills, we only ever communicated in Korean from day 1. Since the day we met, the day she came up to me and asked if I wanted to warm-up with her and asked if I was a foreigner or not, and then revealing that shes actually a foreigner, too. That made us automatically click, because we realized we could both speak without feeling wary of sounding dumb or making mistakes in front of a REAL Korean person. Granted, other teammates always heard a lot of our conversations and sometimes joined in, too. The main point was that speaking Korean in that sense, was the best experience I could’ve asked for. Others may think the most ideal would be, y’know, a real Korean person. But, why be picky when the point is that I got to practice.
By the end of semester two, I had a kinda random idea, fueled by a conversation I had with a KLI classmate. She mentioned how she was studying for the TOPIK 2, the intermediate-advanced Korean fluency test for foreigners, and she decided to take it in Korea versus America because she heard it was easier and the 65th one would be held in Korea while she was there anyway. Upon hearing this, I only vaguely knew about this test, I didn’t think it to be that big of deal, yet in my head I knew I was always impressed with foreigners when they would say something like “yeah I placed level 6 (the highest mark) on the topik”. And so, I looked more into the test myself, and I was like hmm maybe I should try it out myself. 익안언니 mentioned that she actually needed to (re)take it too because her score from her last test is expiring soon. So very last minute, we decided to take it together. It costed money, but that was expected. I debated a lot in the beginning whether or not to take TOPIK 1 or 2, aka easy vs hard, but I decided to just fuck it, I just gotta make sure I study for reals and have more faith in my skills lol.
Im glad I made the right decision. I didn’t study as effectively for the test as I would’ve liked, but I did what I could given my circumstances. I was shooting for level 3. I at least wanted a LEVEL out of the test, not a blank score, which is what would be given if you can’t even manage the minimum level 3 out of the TOPIK 2. That test seriously HURT my brain LOL. As you get towards the end of each section, it gets ridiculously hard and there were 2475830 words I did not understand at all and the mere rows of sentences eventually turned into huge walls of text that filled the paper all the way to the edges  and o gosh, just imagine how brain frying those sorts of exams can be HAHAHAH.
In the end, I placed level 5. I was 8 points away from level 6. I was honestly very shocked and to this day, I think I just owe my score to me doing a good job at guessing correct answers, not my pure skills LOL. But above all else, I definitely underestimated myself. I really wanted to take the TOPIK to assess my Korean skills once and for all, definitively. But even after receiving my score, I still feel lost on how to accurately describe my skills. Does level 5 even cut it? Do I even have the right to call myself level 5? I got it though, right? Having drowned myself in Korean for 8 years & taken level 1 & 2 KLI, I was able to be lowkey fluent, I guess.
That’s pretty damn cool. Im pretty damn proud of myself. And yeah, idk, that’s that. LOL. Im not trying to brag about myself or anything. All of that was purely my journey with the Korean language, particularly in the context of studying abroad in Korea for a year. And in regards to my goal, I think I did a pretty good job. I can write long chunks of text without too much problem, I can speak a good amount, maybe not 100% flawlessly, but I can hold conversations, I can go weeks with only speaking Korean, and I think that’s pretty awesome progress that I made towards my goal. If anything, I may have surpassed my anticipations. Cool. LOL
 Another one of my main goals was to travel outside of Korea. Or not even that, just outside of SEOUL. Because as amazing that city alone is, I also knew that there is sooooo much to explore throughout the rest of the country and even in other nations. For second semester, I went to Tokyo in Japan, Bangkok in Thailand, Taipei and Tainan in Taiwan, and Busan, Jeonju, Jeju-do, and Yeosu in Korea. I was very blessed to travel to 3 other countries and hit a few beautiful areas outside of Seoul in Korea, too. Although it was a tiresome experience, I wouldn’t have traded it for anything else. Balancing school and travels and other commitments was ridiculously tough. Ive repeated this a lot but: all my snaps and ig updates may have looked like fun and games, but the burnout was real. Traveling with friends isn’t all fun and games.
I learned SO MUCH through this experience: planning logistics thoroughly, dealing with money & currency exchanges strategically, balancing school work, moving things around as necessary, utilizing transportation in various different settings in an effective and efficient manner, familiarizing oneself with the GEOGRAPHY of a place (a really important one that I feel people don’t really talk about), researching attractions from different perspectives & using multiple, varied resources, knowing where to go for help, preparing proper lodging accordingly & communicating with hosts/staff, researching FOOD, too. I could go on and on.
But when it comes to traveling, especially while on a budget bc we are broke ass college kids, the amount of proper communication & discussion & preparation with other members of the group that needs to go into it is no joke. It’s not fun and games, it’s making sure that we know what the fuck we’re doing in a foreign environment so that we can explore, see things, get around, eat, and ENJOY our time safely and efficiently.
SO in that sense, I’m also pretty proud of myself & my friends. Special shout out to Sabrina Sooyoung Wong who was my ultimate travel buddy for (almost) everywhere I went. I already miss the amazing time we had together :’(
Continuing where I left off, I have realized that this writing is taking way too long. The day that marks one year since I left for Korea has already passed (August 21st) & I realized that I was gone for exactly 11 months: Aug 21 -  July 21 (w/ a break in bw ofc) bc I literally landed back in America on the 21st of July, not realizing that the day I left was exactly the 21st as well. And my birthday is on the 21st too. Of Sept..:0 that’s whack. ANYWAYYYYYYY…………
What more do I have to say about this trip, hmmmm……. Ive already talked about my growth through the language and through traveling all over the place…These days, ive truly been trying to relive & recall the worries that shrouded my mind a year ago before I left.
I remember so clearly, constantly asking myself “How will my life change once I go and live there? Will I even be able to make any friends?” People around me also kept telling me that I would “HAVE SO MUCH FUNNNN”, but I recall constantly shutting them down and being pessimistic & telling everyone that I “would just be a normal student studying all the time, just in a different country lol” To address all these predeparture worries, I’ll say simply, thinking back on it now: My life changed SO MUCH, that it feels like nothing even happened at all (ik like wtf??? But lemme explain…), I made friends that I know will last a lifetime, and HONESTLY, I worked really hard studying when it came down to it, but I also made sure to have as much fun as I could. I did my best to balance everything (especially 2nd semester..)
So like, how tf could my life have changed so much that it feels unreal? Well, it’s exactly that. My daily life, the way I went about my daily routine, the lifestyle that I honed, the world that I wrapped myself in, the things I did, the food I ate, just about EVERYTHING about my life in Korea was so drastically different than my life in America, that returning home actually just makes it all feel like a dream, as if it were all a lie. My Korean lifestyle and my American lifestyle are incomparable. They are two completely different worlds. And for that…. I….. yes, I miss the Korean one like crazy every day, but that affection and sentiment for what I had makes my experience all the more precious and just… dear to my heart. Oh so dear to my heart, 나의 유학생활…. I think I kept asking myself the “how will it change” question countless times before I left because I was trying to prepare myself, trying to make sure I don’t throw myself off in the heat of it, make sure I stay grounded in the reality of my circumstances. And although nothing could’ve prepared myself enough for all those specific changes in my life, I think I definitely stayed rooted in mindfulness and never lost sight of the privilege I had.
If I look back on my first semester writings, I always repeated the words “thankful” & “grateful”. I really did my everything to remind myself of those feelings. Same goes for the friends that I met. Particularly my first semester gang, my days spent with them were infinitely bright. I feel like we were all so lost in the wonders of Korea (and Taiwan) and the beauty of just being there, spending time together, having valuable conversations, but also some very dumb ones, and really just bathing in the precious company of each other. It is not every day you meet an amazing group of people as the ones I did 1st sem. I gave yall a shoutout before, but thank yall again for taking care of me, the youngest of younglings out there, and making me laugh & smile more than I could ever recall doing with anyone else. Even my blessed friends from 2nd sem too, sooyoung, antony, Vicky, & 익안언니, I could not have imagined what my life would’ve been with them. My point in all of this? I was so worried about “making friends”, but miraculously, luckily, AMAZINGLY, it all worked out in the end. I am so grateful for that. I got close to some frking really cool people, who I still talk to today, who I still think about a lot, whom I owe a lot of myself to. Even if our collective time spent together was not the longest, even if the timespan of my other friendships are significantly more extensive, the friends I made through studying abroad are infinitely valuable and precious to me at the end of the day. Only stunning memories remain. Our friendships wont end there. They only started in Korea, but I have faith that they will transcend timezones and the years to come.
In terms of just balancing LIFE in korea, I can definitely recall many instances where I felt completely overwhelmed and burnt out. Those days were bound to come from the start. There were many days were I lacked a significant amount of sleep because I was so busy, there were days were I felt perpetually stuck & I could never overcome my problems (the things… a foreigner in Korean cannot do without a phone number…. Gg I felt soooooo shitty at that time)… there were also, ofc, days where I felt frustrated with many different people, there were days were I was so stressed out about whether I was doing the right thing (my 2 tutoring gigs…) or if I deserved anything I was receiving…., there were countless days where I studied hard and stressed about academics, as always (but I managed to get all A+’s 2nd sem & im honestly so proud of that…) …there were plenty of days where I would feel Korean societal standards weigh down on me & I felt painfully inclined to fit in in any and every way possible,.. I also struggled with deeper questions about the kind of toxic community Koreans can foster in various contexts (political, nationalism, etc..)… and the biggest of adversities, the one that broke me down the most, and to this day has left me empty & lost… was watching my singer get torn apart and disappear before my eyes.
I have written about this specific topic very extensively in a different piece, and…. It is definitely a pretty heated, passionate, painful piece. I had many many many many things to say about all of it, and I actually still have countless words to say, honestly. For sake of concision, for sake of keeping my sanity in place for at least this piece of text, for the sake of my world that has crumbled apart far too much for me to ever pick myself back up again… I’ll just say… I miss him so much and I pray for the day I can listen to him again. I won’t even be greedy and say “see” him again. I know ive seen him more times than I ever deserved too. But I want to listen to his voice again. In a new light, in a reassuring way. In some form, I want to hear him again… just once at least… please…Knowing him, listening to him for years, holding onto my life with his voice & music… I know that he needs to do music and nothing else. It breaks my heart every day to think about how this light has been lost from him.
One day… one day……….. I pray desperately every day that one day, he will come back to us. Please.
 Its honestly pretty difficult to talk about my hardships during my time in Korea without mentioning that stuff. It has taken such a big toll on me, life became so taxing because of that one situation, that even today I sit here, half a year after it all fell apart, without much improvement on the state of things anyway. But enough of the negative stuff. I hope that’s enough. Despite all the pain & highkey trauma I acquired from it all, I know that at the end of the day I learned valuable lessons and that I am still grateful for every experience nonetheless.
I still wouldn’t be who I am today or where I am today without those tough times, too. It sucks that I lost my light along the way, I lost sight of my world that so ironically always gave me healing when I needed it most.
Another thing I should mention is how I am also very grateful for that fact that I never got sick while in Korea, or just while abroad in general. I usually catch a cold about once a year, even my first year of college, I definitely had that small period of time where I was dead sick from some sort of virus. But not once, did my body ever falter while abroad. It’s ironic because usually being in foreign countries, especially the not-the-most-sanitary ones like Thailand, Taiwan, etc, one would normally be much more susceptible to a stomach bug or heat-related complication or whatever. One would think that my body would be especially vulnerable abroad. But nope. I stayed strong all throughout. I’m pretty damn proud of that too. I tend to take my health for granted, but looking back on it now, I guess I held up pretty well despite all the odds against me.
The most important question I should be asking myself now is… How have I changed since I’ve studied abroad? Some basic changes would be my outer appearance. My makeup has definitely changed, my clothes do not exactly look like the rest of my friends’, and my eyes are sometimes slightly different colored LOL. But, mentally? Emotionally? What has korea done to me? I thought that once I returned from being abroad, I could be this strong, amazing, fearless, bold person. Maybe in some aspects, I do feel that way. But quite frankly, being away from some beloved, close friends for so long has left me more insecure and unsure than I would like to admit.
No part of my confidence has significantly skyrocketed or anything. I am still too much of a pessimist for any of that to be possible. I actually feel kinda reluctant, vulnerable, skeptical… when it comes back to reconnecting with the friends I haven’t seen for over a year. So in this way, Korea has changed me in which I do not know how to reconvene with the life I originally left.
Korea also….. made me fall in love with the “Asian lifestyle”. I say this a lot in person, but I think I genuinely love Asian culture & way of living better than America’s. Especially after coming back & coming to terms with how normalized some illegal stuff are among kids my age are now, I cant vibe with any of that. I know well enough that both cultures have their pros and cons and but I think I can safely say I prefer one over the other. I have grown up in the same exact house and neighborhood my entire life and I very ironically chose to go to a school that mirrors this familiar environment almost perfectly. Therefore, I easily lose sight about what is new, what is enjoyable, what keeps me grounded here.
So to be honest, nothing keeps me grounded in my hometown. Not my parents, not really my hometown friends, nothing special. It’s a fact that I felt more attached to Korea than America. I don’t know. It just ended up that way.
I traveled to and studied there for a year because I felt like my heart belonged there. And after coming back, I think I finally can contest to that statement.
One more thing, as I try to run out of things to say… I dislike K-pop and I wish it wasn’t such a definitive part of Korea itself. I know for a fact that the way in which K-pop has blown up over the years is an inherent loss for Korean culture because now the world has been misguided, misinformed, and misinterpreting Korea as a whole due to K-pop. I hate how, if I were to speak to someone ive never met before about me studying abroad in Korea, they would most likely assume that I like K-pop or make some sort of connection to my experience, with K-pop. That presumption needs to end. I do not relate my experience to K-pop in any way. There was so much outside of that. So like, no, I did not meet so-and-so. No, I did not see that group on the streets. No, I did not go to that concert. I admit I went to plenty of concerts, but those people were basically NO NAMES compared to actual K-pop artists… So please… I wish there was a distance between Kpop & Korea.
I have come to cherish Korean culture way outside of K-pop. Sure, its what exposed me to it all in the beginning, but I very quickly, very NATURALLY, grew out of that mindset & perspective. Sigh. That’s that. A real shame.
I haven’t been able to wrap this up for an entire week now and I think, right before I head back to school for good at UCI, this would be a good time to close it up for good.
What I meant to talk about throughout this entire “final journey” chunk was how studying abroad changed me, and what that might mean for my future.
These days, while ive been lowkey wallowing away at home, avoiding my responsibilities and waiting for everything to come crashing down onto me once I return to Irvine, one of the biggest things ive been really missing is Yeosu. My spontaneous 2 day, 1 night trip to Yeosu with Sabrina was probably one of the best spontaneous adventures I ever chose to do.
Yeosu held some sort of beauty that is so impossible to explain, that pictures don’t even do justice for, and is really just a hidden gem sort of place that I am so so so blessed to have visited and fallen in love with. Even if it was just for two short days, Yeosu treated us SO well. It will forever be one of the best memories I’ve made in Korea, because of all its combined natural beauty, open air, wonderful weather, breathtaking views, exciting and undying street pojangmacha street life, and FOOD! Amazing, home-cooked 한식…..it was really, honestly, great.
Another thing I thought of: I feel like I took so many airplanes that I lost count and I even lost that exhilarating, enthusiastic feeling that used to be associated with taking airplanes at some point. I am not trying to BRAG that I had that sort of privilege, but I just wanted to…. Reminisce on that missing emotion. Now, going through that entire check-in, security, waiting, boarding process feels sooooo draggy, and if anything, even a waste of time….. :( but I at least appreciate airplanes for being able to take me everywhere…
OKAY FOR REALS, last thing im going to address: my current perceptions on sharing my journey abroad with others. If im going to be completely honest, I really hesitate to talk about how I studied in Korea for a year. I am pretty damn paranoid about what people would think of me and I am reluctant to really tell my story because I feel like all of it is very important and special and dear to my heart that it’s not as simple as “yeah, it was chill, I had a great time”. In response to the question of “omg how was it????”, ive literally made a script for myself: “honestly, like my life in korea and my life here in America were so totally different that it feels like it didn’t even happen… it went by so fast and there was so much going on that coming back here feels pretty weird…also, reverse-culture shock is real”
That is the best spiel I can muster up if I were to briefly talk about my experiences abroad. But in reality, I would want to talk about why korea & the Korean language mean so much to me, how grateful I am for all the places and people and things I got to see, how convenient day-to-day life was. And most of all, I would want to address the all the negative things I discovered about Korea. I would want to talk about how for nearly half of my time there, my world was, and still is, crashing down onto me, and how that entire happening has affected my viewpoint of Korean society greatly. I would love to go on about the nuances that make Korea a very toxic social environment, how many aspects that make it well-known and well-received globally also contribute to my disliking for Korea. My experience was so eye-opening. It really was. With all the beauty I discovered along the way, I feel like I faced some extremely terrible shit, too. But of course, as I have been repeating ceaselessly, I am thankful at the end of the day. I always am.
I think at this point, I don’t have much more to say. Despite how much I miss Korea on a daily basis, for now, I think its best to let go of it. I am proud that my daily Instagram will stay as my detailed, thorough testimony to the countless experiences and stories I thought were worth sharing, or remembering at the very least. 286 days. To be exact, I was abroad for 286 days. Not a year exactly, but sorta close. I did my best. I did everything I could. I was independent as I could be, I saw all the things I could see, and I just appreciated it all at the end of the day.
I am really excited to go back one day. It’s at the least the one thing keeping me a little bit optimistic for the future.
잘 있어줘, 한국아. 모든 걸 고마웠다.
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j4nn4s · 5 years
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rules:
always repost the rules
answer the questions given to you by the one who tagged you!
give 11 questions
tag 11 people
i was tagged by @isakvdhflorenzi, ty miss lorena <3 1. Is the social media presence of the characters important to how you view the quality of the remake/show?
hm well skam nl is my favorite and their social media game is trash LMAOOO so generally No but i do feel like remakes who DO have such a good presence kind of elevate the show and i think it’s pretty heartwarmin to see some remakes go sm farther than skam with social media and puttin out educational and IN CHARA resources like skames does this so well and i feel like in that way, the team is really really spreadin skam’s spirit via these resources (like joana’s billion bpd awareness ig accounts and lucas rubio’s yt channel)
2. Least favourite clip of the show? Why?
tbh there are definitely some duds but probably one of the clips with sana gettin herself into a hole in s4 just bc some were hard to watch cus cringey or yikes .... idk i cant think of others LMAO
3. Which character did you feel the most connected to and why?
ijeoiqjiwoij even tho even is my all time fave skam chara, i have to say isak for all of these reasons 
4. Your least favourite part of every season?
season 1 - tbh even though i really enjoyed this season, it does take a while for it to build up like i rmr at first not being that interested until ep6 maybe ?? which is hard when you’re trying to get your friends to watch but they have to wait until ep6 before shit starts RLLY buildin up and gettin wild
season 2 - hm ig noora chasin after william ??
season 3 - bro NOTHINGGG call me a purist but its such a refined masterpiece like the pacing is good the characterization is so good ugh i deadass cant think of anythin
season 4 - i always felt a little ??? w noora being sana’s bff ig bc from s1-s3 it didn’t Feel like they were that close like even in noora’s pov, sana wasn’t really a part of it that much ?? like eva was more of noora’s bff ?? so i feel like it would have made more sense if maybe sana spoke more with chris or vilde bc sana and vilde eventually seemed to get closer esp with kosegruppa and chris has always been by sana’s side ?? idk that always confused me
5. What is your opinion on the cast’s participation on social media? Do you prefer it when the cast aren’t that involved like the Skam cast, or do you like a lot of content like the Fr cast do?
tbh i don’t care much abt the casts LMAOOO if anythin it kind of brings more harm as seen with the harassment axel and maxence get and also can bring more controversy like with irene (which honestly is p sad considerin how much i love skames bc now i feel super :/ watchin it like she shouldve just had private accts at this point)
6. Favourite song you found from Skam or the remakes?
OMFGGG love this question .... def doorman by slowthai and mura masa bc its one of my fave songs now and i got it from skam nl <3 ugh taste
7. If you could decide which characters from Skam got a season, who would you choose?
OOOHHH ugh torn bc i like isak’s pov but also i want even’s so might have to forfeit isak season for even season ....... hm so probs vilde, sana, even, noora (maybe not w william tho) and honestly maybe jonas too ??
8. Are there any moments that you liked in the show that everyone else seems to hate?
IJXDWQOIJJ yes .... remakes-wise, people hate skam nl s2’s last half but i enjoyed it for the most part ... i think the pacing was off for the last ep but personally, clip 50 made up for it and is p god tier imo ..... and also don’t think the first half of ep10 is enough to discredit the entire season bc i rlly loved seeing liv’s pov and have sm fave moments from the season 
but skam wise, omg might get a lil controversial w this one IM SORRY !!! im bein honest and its Just my opinion ok 
personally s2 got me more invested than s1 and i don’t think its a super bad season like i didnt really say many problems wrong with it until i got on tumblr wiejioqjoiqjq i was sort of interested in the questions that the noora/william dynamic brought up which is, as expressed in william’s war speech to noora, that nothing is ever black/white which i feel was a huge message and feeds into the ‘you never know what ppl are going through’ theme of the season ... like i like the idea of someone like noora, who can have a black/white mentality (as seen in the first clip of s2 when she tells vilde that they can’t have the tannin company as their sponsor bc they objectify women or smth but misses the context and what it could mean for the bus monetarily bc shes caught up in bein ‘woke’) having to break out of that and see more than one side ... and i think remakes like skam austin expanded on this idea well like when zoya was like ‘must be so nice being right all the time’ which i Do feel like is an important for youth to know today .... bc i think its so easy to get caught up in the idea of being so objectively right and morally superior that people lose sight of the more nuanced characteristics to life ... (omg long ramble BUT)
also LMAOOOOO this one might be more controversial as it pertains to bench scene s4 ok oops again doNT GOTTA AGREE !! ........ but i feel like the scene had a lot of good intentions ... i was def kind of cringing a bit tho bc i understand the subject’s sensitivity and how these topics are hard to talk about but i genuinely feel like they both made Some points and should listen to each other .... like as Hard and as maybe ‘unwoke’ it is to admit, unfortunately you sort of do have to answer the tough questions bc that way we learn from each other .... and i perfectly understand why some ppl wouldn’t want to do this and i certainly am tired abt havin to answer shit abt my sexuality or stupid male questions abt women but if u dont answer them, people do go lookin for answers still and the internet is such a shitty place that its pretty easy (esp with youtube’s algorithm) to lead you to ignorant ppl and perhaps radicalization .... questions help us to better understand our community and sometimes they can have good intentions too but we have to ask and answer them or else people will make up answers (which ive literally seen and its honestly worse to see fake as shit and UNINFORMED answers bc ppl did not want to ask you or ppl of ur identity, esp when they’re already startin from a place of hate .... but i rather have ppl ask me patronizing questions than have them spread false info bc that can do much more harm in the long run) however i DO think that isak should also consider sana’s side and i sort of wish we saw him conceding more bc they both have smth to learn from one another, like sana shouldn’t just be learnin from isak, isak needs to learn from sana too
PHEW SORRY QWIOJQWIO girl i just got opinions on some things this is when my desc rlly comes in handy .... oqjdwqioj
9. What did you learn from the show?
omg honestly too much to write here tbh ..... but if it says anythin im (very slowly) in the works of a three part skam essay about basically how skam teaches us to be better humans and how to better treat the people we care about diowjqioj essentially the three biggest themes of the show: you never know what someone is going through so always be kind, always communicate with your friends, and no person is ever alone and i feel like these are definitely rlly good messages to live by (also livet er nå BITCH !!!)
10. What is your favourite headcanon about your favourite characters?
omg tbh i could not tell u at all how the skam charas are doing except i hope even is okay thats all im thinkin of ok .... OIWXIOJX omg remakes wise tho ..... honestly im so bad at this girl IDK !!!!! LMAO i have to really think i have a bit of vdh and dutch even but thats bc we know like Zero abt them so its easier oijwiojqio idk liv and noah bein cute as shit ..... OH WAIT personally i feel like janna got a bunch of pansexual energy so my BIGGG hc is that she’s pan also bc she’s one of my all time fave charas and my fkn url so itd be dope if she was pan ok boom
11. What is your opinion on fanfiction in the fandom?
tbh i don’t read skam fanfiction but i don’t mind reading some from the remakes (tho still its rare) ... eiojeioqw i just don’t trust anyone but julie to write skam charas bc i think that’s how precious the show is to me LMAO like idk everything ive seen of skam fanfiction and ficlets and one shots, i could never get into bc the tone is just so out of character or there will be lines that just take me out of the fic bc im like this !!!! is not !!! how the chara acts !!!! so yeah idk not rlly a fan bc of my purist ass but i dont mind others reading it
Questions:
1. Favorite quote of the show?
2. Which country would you like to see have the next remake? Do you have any headcanons?
3. Which season would you rewrite and how would you rewrite it?
4. What clips do you personally like or don’t mind, but others hate?
5. Which songs do you think SKAM or the remakes should have included? For which moments?
6. Who would you give SKAM season five to and what topics and themes would it cover?
7. What moment spoke to you or touched you from SKAM the most?
8. How did you find SKAM? How did you feel about it right after watching?
9. Have you shared SKAM with any friends in real life? What did they think of it?
10. Of the remakes, which characters are your favorite of their SKAM counterparts? (Ex. who is the best Vilde remake? Eva? etc.)
11. How do you feel about the SKAM (and remakes) tumblr fandom?
I tag: @smileykeijser @whatadaze @queenofpurgatoryx @itlukey @skamyeets @shaykeijser @megeliz01 @isakcijser @wackpainterkid @axelauriantblot @kar-d-momme
(omg ik some of yall have been tagged so just ignore if u dont want to do it ok im srry it was in the RULES!)
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Note
hm it's A Lot so u can skip questions but abc's for lael !!
i did all of this out of hubris and pride so here u go enjoy
A: Aptitude1. what are your oc’s natural abilities, things they’ve been doing since young?
they’ve had a little scientist’s/engineer’s instincts from a young age! they’ve always been very smart and had a good eye for figuring out how systems and mechanical things function, through observation and taking them apart
2. what activities have they participated in?
this is so vague but like. a lot of magitech stuff? and robot fighting when they were in school. and as a kid a lot of running around in nature, exploring and observing and messing with everything. 
3. what abilities do they have that they’ve worked for?
they have a natural knack for it, but all their knowledge of robotics, magic, and nature is stuff they took upon themself to study
4. what things are they bad at?
they’re not terrible athletic, and they really havent put much effort into developing people skills. 
5. what is their most impressive talent?
probably to other people the fact that they do magitech
B: Basics1. what is their hair color?
black
2. what is their eye color?
dark brown
3. how tall are they?
about 5′7″
4. how old are they?
31
5. how much do they weigh?
no clue! im bad at figuring this stuff out. body type wise tho, they’re on the leaner side bc elf heritage but also. very squishy.
C: Comfort1. how do they sit in a chair?
almost never with both feet on the ground, at least with one leg up or crossed, sometimes with feet on the seat, but generally with limbs going wherever, one arm hooked over the seatback, etc. there is no order here
2. in what position do they sleep?
they can sleep anywhere and tend to either splay out with limbs everywhere or curl up tight around a pillow
3. what is their ideal comfort day?
hang out at home, read some books, eat their childhood favorites, and hang out with their parents, maybe fuck around out in nature for a bit
4. what is their major comfort food? why?
this chicken and vegetable soup that their dad would make for them when they were sick, it’s heavy and comforting and magically makes them feel a little bit better
5. who is the best at comforting them when down?
their parents, but in different ways– their mom does more of the physical ‘taking care of them’ stuff when comforting, and their dad gets more into the emotional comfort stuff
D: Decoration1. how would they decorate a house if they had one under their name?
they do have a house! although it’s also first and foremost a lab, but that’s pretty on brand for them anyway. it’s a lot of tools and practical stuff, and a lot of the furniture is based off of personal comfort or use rather than style. for decoration though there’s some blueprints and pictures pasted to the walls. the colors in general are warmer ones, and the place overall gives the impression of not being necessarily Nice but comfortable and lived in. it’s very much Lael’s Space
2. how would they decorate their child’s room?
they. would not have children. 
3. how do they decorate their own room?
same with the house– very comfortable and useful, pictures and diagrams pasted on the walls, and lots of space for books and knick-knacks along with work room
4. what type of clothes and accessories do they wear?
they have sort of a Style but it’s also pretty chill and comfortable, made to be moving around in their workroom or working outdoors. lots of basic light-weight short sleeve shirts or button-ups, pants w lots of pocket space, overalls, tool belts, etc. if they dress fancier it’s pretty basic and streamlined, look-wise, nothing very flashy or fancy unless it’s the holidays and someone makes them.
5. do they like makeup/nail/beauty trends?
not at all, that’s a lot of extraneous effort they’re not willing to put in, esp since they dont necessarily see a lot of other people regularly
E: External Personality1. does the way they do things portray their internal personality?
pretty much, yeah. lael doesn’t see the point in trying to put on a nice face for anyone else. they’re a little softer than they appear on the outside tho.
2. do they do things that conform to the norm?
they dont care much about the norm, but they’ll go along with some stuff for the sake if it being easier (although it’s not common for them). they always tend to grate against norms a little bit in general tho
3. do they follow trends or do their own thing?
do their own thing. they’ve always been something of an outsider, even in their own community, so they don’t see the value in trying to follow what others are doing.
4. are they up-to-date on the internet fads?
the internet doesnt exist but. no. they dont really follow fads or trends outside of their own fields, where they keep up with trends but ultimately follow their own ideas.
5. do they portray their personality intentionally or let people figure it out on their own?
in some ways, yes-- they tend to broadcast their own aggressiveness and weirdness so that people know what they’re about and stay away if they’re not interested. other stuff they let people find out on their own, esp emotional soft spots and their occasional gentleness, etc
F: Fun1. what do they do for fun?
science! studying bugs and stuff. and they like gardening a lot, and doing science on the plants. when they were younger they went out more and also participated in some robot-fighting circles in their spare time.
2. what is their ideal party?
they’d think back to the days when they lived in gelt and there were some wild parties with fellow magitechnicians their age– nowadays they’d like something a bit more chill, but a good party for them would entail hanging out and drinking with other people/friends in their field
3. who would they have the most fun with?
mostly old school friends
4. can they have fun while conforming to rules?
not really, no– they dont have to break the law, but they’re always going to rub up against restrictions. everything is more fun when you have room to explore and make a little bit of trouble
5. do they go out a lot?
nope, they live out in the country and spend a lot of time working. they went out more often when they were young, though
G: Gorgeous1. what is their most attractive external feature?
those high cheekbones!!
2. what is the most attractive part of their personality?
their passion! when they care about something they Care, and it can be a little bit infectious
3. what benefits come with being their friend?
long intellectual conversations & having a friend that will 100% fight for you if you’re close enough
4. what parts of them do they like and dislike?
this is... not something they think about a lot, i’m not sure they are terribly introspective. but i think they like their own curiosity and novel approaches to problems, and dislike some of the issues they have interacting w others (but they dont think about it too hard)
5. what parts of others do they envy?
they’ll never admit it, but they’re jealous of people who can move through social situations with a ton of ease.
H: Heat1. do they rather a hot or cold room?
cold, they’re not a big fan of the heat
2. do they prefer summer or winter?
neither, but summer slightly more just because nature is much more active
3. do they like the snow?
it’s fine. pretty but also a pain in the ass
4. do they have a favorite summer activity?
bug huntin’! exploring nature! looking at plants and wildlife! taking notes!
5. do they have a favorite winter activity?
staying inside where it’s warm and working on projects. and they complain but they don’t entirely hate the rituals of going to see family during winter holidays
I: In-the-closet1. what is their sexuality?
bi/pan, idk if they have a preference label-wise
2. have they ever questioned their sexuality?
i’m not sure if they had a lot of expectations imposed on them in terms of what’s ‘normal’ sexuality-wise, but they def came to the realization of being not-straight at some point
3. have they ever questioned their gender?
im not sure they ever had a time where they didnt see themselves as non-binary, they maybe messed around w gender as a kid but fairly quickly settled on their current state of not giving a shit
4. would/was their family be okay with them being LGBT?
what’s homophobia this is fantasy land
5. how long would/did it take for them to come out?
idk if they actually came out ever, everyone just sorta knows
J: Joy1. what makes them happy?
magitech, exploring nature, weird bugs, learning new things
2. who makes them happy?
their family, their mentor, other magitechnicians who they can talk to and share ideas w
3. are there any songs that bring them joy?
songs that their parents would sing when they were young– either as lullabies or songs their father would sing while working
4. are they happy often?
lael’s emotions go all over the place, and i don’t know if they’re truly happy super often, but they’re overall content with the shape of their life right now
5. what brings them the most joy in the world?
those moments when they’re working and finally Get something or know exactly how something needs to work
K: Kill1. have they ever thought about suicide?
not really, no
2. have they ever thought about homicide?
…..yes, but more fantasizing than intent to act on it
3. if they could kill anyone without punishment, would they? who?
they would at least seriously consider it, and it’d be either their ex or whoever fucked gil up so badly
4. who would miss them if they died?
their family, a few friends
5. who would be happy they died, anyone?
hopefully no one? lael is not someone with a few friends, but while they certainly have people who dislike them, they have very few, if any, outright enemies. (to their knowledge?)
L: Lemons1. what is their favorite fruit?
they enjoy citrus but rarely get their hands on it, living in a more temperate climate. otherwise they like sour apples a lot! and blackberries
2. what is their least favorite fruit?
not a fan of pears (it’s a texture thing + they’re a bit too sweet)
3. are there any foods they hate?
not really, most of their food-dislikes are pretty mild. 
4. do they have any food intolerances?
lael is lactose-intolerant! this does not stop them from consuming dairy products.
5. what is their favorite food?
they really like the beef stew the had when they were younger! they dont get it as often now tho, only when they get home
M: Maternal1. would they want a daughter or a son?
they don’t want kids
2. how many children do they want?
zero
3. would they be a good parent?
no, they’re too obsessed with work to take care of anyone else
4. what would they name a son? what would they name a daughter?
not only do they not want kids but they are notoriously bad at naming anything and should not be allowed to do so to an actual child.
 5. would they adopt?
nope.
N: Never Have I Ever1. what would they never do? 
i don’t think they could ever like.... willingly submit to someone else? whether that be a god or a ruler or a boss. they might go along with them in some circumstances but they could never be truly devoted to someone above them
2. what have they never done that they want to do?
3. is there anything they absolutely can’t believe people do?
kind of related to #1, they think it’s wild that people follow others w/o any questioning or thinking about it for themself. even w stuff as small as w/ reading a science book-- if lael has the ability to test something out for themself they will before they trust someone else’s perspective
4. what is the most embarrassing thing they’ve done?
once tried to impress a crush by giving them a bug. it did not go well.also that one time that they got a drunken tattoo (altho i dont think they regret it-- they just don’t show it off)
5. have they done anything they thought they’d never do?
lael never really thought of themself as the type to be a teacher, so the fact that they want to and are going to try to teach some stuff to arabella is unexpected for them, even if they themself suggested the idea
O: Optimism1. are they optimistic or pessimistic?
i think they alternate depending on the situation? they tend to be pessimistic when it comes to people and their motives, but optimistic in regards to progress/science/their own work
2. are they openly optimistic, throwing it on others?
they aren’t very openly optimistic, it only really shines through when they start talking about the future of magitech or some shit
3. are they good at giving advice?
not at all! unless it’s help with a project, then maybe. dont go them to them for personal advice though-- most of the good advice they have is just verbatim from other people
4. is there anyone in their life that throws optimism on them?
their parents, esp their dad, are much more optimistic about things
5. were they always optimistic?
they’ve always been pretty optimistic about certain things, like magitech. but they learned pretty young to not be optimistic about others, and they became even more pessimistic in that area as time has gone on
P: Personality1. what is their best personality trait?
their intense love of knowledge and passion for their work
2. what is their worst personality trait?
they’re kind of an asshole and care very little about what others think of them, for better or worse. 
3. what of their personality do others love?
dm quote: “Other magitechnicians admire their ingenuity and focus, Gil and their parents love their quiet dedication and the joy they take in their passions”
4. what of their personality do others envy?
the fact that they seem to care very little of others’ opinions of them
5. do they hate anything about their personality/about other’s personalities?
they tend to dislike others who are ‘fake’ and not straightforward with their intentions. as for themself, the fact that they do not have a lot of self control, ESPECIALLY when it comes to their shit taste in romantic partners
Q: Questions1. do they ask for help?
not often, if they can avoid it, but at the end of the day they’re more concerned w progress than pride
2. do they ask questions in class?
they’re the type of kid to ask too many questions in class, actually
3. do they answer questions that make them a little uncomfortable?
they might, but they’ll generally call out the other person for asking uncomfortable questions as well
4. do they ask weird questions?
very! they did moreso as a kid, they’ve developed SOME tact now
5. are they curious?
oh yeah they’re SUPER curious about stuff, but only when it’s in their field of interest (ex: they dont care much about gossip at all, not when cool bugs exist)
R: Rules1. do they follow rules?
only when it benefits them or it aligns with their own beliefs.
2. would they be a strict or laid-back parent?
they would… not be a parent. but if they were, a fairly distant and laid back one.
3. have they ever been consequenced for breaking a rule?
almost definitely, but mostly stuff like “taking worms inside the house” or “getting in fights w others” (rarely) or generally being a weird chaotic shit as a kid. they break less rules now but mostly bc they care about keeping their job
4. have they broken any rules they now regret breaking?
hm. i don’t think so. they’re not the type to have many regrets.
5. do they find any rules they/others follow absolutely ridiculous?
they have Thoughts about some Taliare rules that limit magitechnicians and impede progress. they also have issues w bureaucracy in general
S: Streets1. are they street-smart?
they are generally pretty good at reading others and judging their intentions, but they’ve def focused more attention on book-smarts
2. would they give money to someone on the streets?
honestly? probably not, but more out of not wanting to interact with strangers than any sort of malice
3. have they ever gotten in a fight on the streets?
realistically absolutely yes, once as a kid and one or two times when they were going through their first round of magitech school.
4. has anything happened to them on the streets?
they probably got pickpocketed once or twice in gelt
5. are they cautious when out?
only a bit, but they’re very capable of protecting themself if it comes down to it (they’ve got a knife! and magic!)
T: Truth1. are they honest?
on principle, and sometimes to a fault
2. can they tell if someone is lying?
usually yeah, they can get a good read on others
3. is it obvious when they’re lying?
they rarely lie they, so they don’t have a ton of practice at it, and i think someone who knows them well or is pretty intuitive they’d be able to pick up on it
4. have they lied about anything they regret lying about?
i don’t think they lie enough for this to be the case? it’s mostly white lies if anything
5. have they told truths that have been spread against their will?
nope, not really.
U: Underdog1. have they been bullied?
when they were younger, yes. partially bc of being a half elf in an almost entirely human town (which made them a very easy target) and partially bc they were just a weird fucking kid
2. have they bullied anyone?
they’ve been MEAN to people but not actively bullied anyone. they did break a kid’s nose once but he deserved it.
3. have they been physically attacked by a bully?
i dont think so, i think it was more teasing and ostracism. any physical attacks were pretty mild or on their possessions. i think once someone tried to get physical but they were scared off by the only other non-human in town (besides lael’s dad), an older half-orc boy named Cyrus, and they never tried to attack lael again.
4. have they ever been doubted?
i mean, yes almost definitely, altho i cant give u an example
5. have they surprised people with being good at something?
i feel like when they were young and first showed talent w magitech they surprised some ppl. also, when they lived in gelt i think the fact they knew so much about nature and medicine was unexpected to ppl who just met them, but for anyone who knew them well it wouldnt be surprising at all
V: Vomit1. do they vomit often?
not really, unless they’re sick
2. do they get lots of stomach aches?
not really, they dont eat particularly out-there food and their stomach isnt overly sensitive
3. are they good at comforting someone ill?
lael isn’t good at comforting period, they’re more the type to just go through necessary medical stuff but they do not have very good bedside manner.
4. what do they like as far as comfort goes?
they like to be in a place they’re comfortable, like home, and with people that Get them, w like a nice blanket, and more physical affection than usual.
5. do they burp, cough, or hiccup most when nauseous? when vomiting?
i do not know or care
W: Water1. do they drink enough water?
they probably forget while they’re working. their mom gets on them about this when they come home tho
2. have they learned to swim?
probably only the very basics, they dont live around any large bodies of water so they’re not super proficient
3. do they like to swim?
not really
4. can they dive?
o def not
5. can they swim without holding their nose?
i would hope so?
X: Xylophone1. what is their favorite genre of music?
i don’t know if they’re super up to date on music? in a modern day setting they’d be into all sorts of electronic music tho
2. do they have a favorite song?
again, not modern day so idk
3. do they have a favorite band/artist/singer?
not in-game, but they’d probably be very into all sorts of weird electronic music and lo-fi stuff that mixes ‘real’ sounds, like snail’s house
4. can they sing well?
oh no they’re not very good at it at all
5. can they rap?
….probably not
Y: You1. how old were you when you created them?
21! i made them this year
2. what inspired you to create them?
i figured if i was gonna play a character in a magitech universe i wanted them to be related to that in some way. basically they were created with the idea of “i want to play a character with a robot arm” and literally their entire backstory and personality is descended from that fact. 
the other thing is that i was learning about biomimicry-technology in german class and i thought it’d be cool to have an engineer character that very much loved and was influenced by nature
3. were they different when they were first created?
oh i first thought that their personality would be more stoic and distant, but in reality the most core thing about their personality is how fucking passionate they are about things
4. do you enjoy writing them more than other characters?
again, i dont really love playing one character more than others, i just love them for different reasons! but lael is particularly fun to play because it’s fun to not worry much about coming off as “nice” to others, and also I Love Magic. it’s also fun to play someone so passionate about their studies and work bc i can channel myself into that!
5. what’s your favorite thing about them?
man honestly it’s that aforementioned passion that they have for what they do, and their endless curiosity about how things work and how to make them better
Z: Zebra1. what’s their favorite animal?
spiders!!! they love creepy crawlys and bugs in general though
2. do they like animals?
yes but more in a scientific way than a ‘wants to have a lot of pets’ way. and it’s generally more reptiles/insects/arachnids than furry animals
3. cats or dogs?
cats
4. what’s their dream pet?
a tarantula! or a cool lizard
5. do they have any pets at the moment?
nah, but they have plants
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padawanlost · 6 years
Note
Hi, sry this is a rough topic. Maybe bc Im not american I don’t understand the pov where people heavily like to bash Anakin for killing tusken raiders. I understand killing woman and children is wrong and no Im not getting him off the hook with that and I think he pays for it with his humanity in ep3 when he kills the younglings anyways. However, there are many who just call them “innocents” and I find that OOC...[]
[…] In the movies we only hear about how terrible and “monstrous” they are, and unofficial guide books shows how much of awful beings they’re supposed to be. Someone said it’s racist thing and again not an american so Idk about that, but the overall canon shows that they are indeed not so innocent adult or children alike. I’m just trying to understand where all the sympathy is coming from? Is it just another Anakin hate? What do you think? 
Hey!
Well, what Anakindid was wrong so many people hate him for it, that part is simple. Everything else, isn’t. I’ve seen peoplesay Anakin killed them because he was entitled, because he was “crazy”, he was afascist, etc. None of that is true, the movie make his reasons for slaughteringthat group pretty obvious. He did it because of what was done to Shmi.
However,what Anakin did was also textbook genocide. The moment Anakin slaughtered everyone who he identified as a TuskenRaider, instead of slaughtering only the responsible for the Shmi’s death hiscrimes evolved from murder motivated by revenge to genocide motivated by revenge*(more on this later). But, to be fair, that’s only part of story. We only seeAnakin’s real genocidal tendencies once he becomes Vader. Now, Vader was deeplymotivated by his prejudice against the Tusken and Tatooine in general.
 This world means as much to me as a speck of dust, and all its inhabitants might as well be dust too. As he returned to the Devastator, Vader considered the fact that Tatooine could be reduced to dust by the Death Star. He wondered if watching the sand planet’s obliteration might bring him any pleasure. It was a possibility he wouldn’t rule out. [The Rise and Fall of Darth Vaderby Ryder Windham]
Here is the thing: Anakin didcommit genocide and the Tusken did tortured Shmi. Honestly, I think the situationway too complex to label any of the parts simply as innocent or guilty.
People sympathizewith Tusken because they don’t like Anakin but, also, because the anti-TuskenRaiders movement was very real and widespread in Tatooine.
“What is driving them so close to thefarms?” Owen asked. “It’s been too longsince we’ve organized anything against them,” Cliegg replied gruffly. “We let the beasts run free, and they’re forgettingthe lessons we taught them in the past.” He looked hard at Owen’s skepticalexpression. “You have to go out thereand teach the Tuskens their manners every now and again.” Owen just stoodthere, having no response. “See how long it’s been?” Cliegg said with a snort.“You don’t even remember the last timewe went out and chased off the Tuskens! There’s the problem, right there!” [R.A.Salvatore’s Attack of the Clones]
The Lars family was being serenadedthrough yet another night by the lowing of many banthas. None of the four hadany doubt that Tuskens were out there, not far from the farm, perhaps even thenwatching its lights. “They’re wildbeasts, and we should have gotten the Mos Eisley authorities to exterminatethem like the vermin they are. Them and the stinking Jawas!” Shmi sighedand put her hand on her husband’s tense forearm. “The Jawas have helped us,”she reminded him gently. “Then not the Jawas!” Cliegg roared back, and Shmi jumped.Taking note of Shmi’s horrified expression, Cliegg calmed at once. “I’m sorry.Not the Jawas, then. But the Tuskens.They kill and steal whenever and wherever they can. No good comes of them!”[R.A. Salvatore’s Attack of the Clones]
The Tuskenraiders were victims. They were one of the native civilizations of Tatooine andthey were invaded over and over again for centuries. So, of course, they were forcedto adapt to survive and so also developed an understanding hatred of outsiders.And that hatred turned into violence and that violence affected both sides ofthe conflict. We all know what happens when a society invades another, and whathappened in Tatooine and the Tuskens wasn’t all that different from our ownworld. Their culture was “incompatible” with the invaders and, being outnumberand overpowered, they become the ostracized group (the savages, instead one ofthe rightful owners of the land). That created a cycle of violence thatresulted in many deaths on all sides.
Fearsome desert savages inhabiting the rocky JundlandWastes, Tusken Raiders are the foremost reason Tatooine colonists do not wanderfar from their isolated communities. Extremelyterritorial and xenophobic, Tusken Raiders will attack with very littleprovocation. They show no allegiance toeven their native world-mates, as these nomads have attacked Jawa scoutingparties on occasion. They have even gathered numbers large enough to attack theoutskirts of smaller towns like Anchorhead. [x]
The Tuskenwere victims, but that doesn’t meanthey were innocent. Understanding thereasons behind their behavior, doesn’t mean we can excuse it. Very much likeAnakin, you can be a victim and still be responsible for atrocious actions.
 Annie was [Shmi] comfort, her placeto hide from the pain the Tuskens had, and were, exacting upon her batteredbody. Every day they came in andtortured her a bit more, prodding her with sharp spears or beating her with theblunt shafts and short whips. It was more than a desire to inflict pain, Shmirealized, though she didn’t speak their croaking language. This was the Tuskenway of measuring their enemies, and from the nods and the tone of their voices,she realized that her resilience had impressed them. [R.A. Salvatore’s Attackof the Clones]
In Shmi’scase, they were not defending their territory against trespassers or securingtheir resources. There was no moral justification for what they did. The self-defenserhetoric doesn’t work here. There’re no excuse for Anakin’s actions but thereare no excuses for this cruelty either. One crime doesn’t justify another. TheTuskens being ostracized by Tatooine’s powerful groups, doesn’t make it alrightfrom them to kill and torture people. What Anakin did was terribly wrong but it’sobvious that his actions were motivated by vengeance, fear and rage, notmadness, racism or entitlement.
Don’t getme wrong, racism against Tusken Raiders in Tatooine did exist. But Anakin’sactions that particular night was not motivated by it. Anakin andShmi were victims of the Tusken. But that doesn’t make Anakin innocent. The sameway they had no right to torture and kill Shmi, Anakin had no right to slaughterthem. 
Anakin, too, had heard the voice ofQui-Gon, imploring him to restrain himself, to deny the rage. He hadn’t recognized it, though, for he was too full of pain and anger. He spotted a Tusken woman to theside, in front of another of the tents, carrying a pail of dirty water, and sawa Tusken child in the shadows of another nearby hut, staring at him with anincredulous expression. Then he was moving, though he was hardly aware of hisactions. [R.A. Salvatore’s Attack of the Clones]
Anakin had nothing against the Tusken before Shmi’s death. He and Shmi were one of the few people in Tatooine who were willing to help them. In fact,before Shmi’s death, Anakin risked his own life to help Tusken Raiders. As achild here is what he thought about Tusken Raiders:
The residents of Mos Espa, themselvesa less than respectable citizenry, hated the Sand People with a passion. Anakin had not yet made up his mind aboutthem. The stories were chilling, but he knew enough of life to know there weretwo sides to every story and mostly only one being told. He was intrigued bythe wild, free nature of the Tuskens, of a life without responsibility orboundaries, of a community in which everyone was considered equal. [The Phantom Menace by TerryBrooks]
“Master Anakin, we really shouldn’tbe out here at night,” the droid observed after a moment. “This country isquite dangerous.” “But we couldn’t leavehim, could we?” “Oh, well, that’s a very difficult determination to make.” […]TheTusken regarded him intently for a long minute, then slowly eased into asitting position, his wounded leg stretched out in front of him. “Uh, hello,”Anakin said, trying out a smile. The Tusken Raider made no response. “Are you thirsty?” the boy asked.[…] Finallyhe spoke again. The boy looked quickly at C-3PO. “He wants to know what you aregoing to do with him, Master Anakin,” the droid translated. Anakin looked backat the Tusken, confused. “Tell him I’m not going to do anything with him,” hesaid. “I’m just trying to help him getwell.” [The Phantom Menace by Terry Brooks]
That doesn’tsound like the thoughts of a person corrupted and motivated by prejudice. Andonce he left the Tatooine, his views didn’t change because here is whathappened when he met A'Sharad Hett (aJedi and Tusken):
As Obi-Wan approached the balcony, hecaught Anakin in the middle of asking astream of questions while the masked figure stood silently, watching thestars emerge over the vast cityscape. “You’re from Tatooine, too?” Anakin saidto his unresponsive companion. “Can you understand Basic? You might not believethis, but not too long ago, I actually saved a Tusken Raider’s life! I foundhim when I was out in the Xelric Draw. He was a bit bigger than you. Maybe he’sa friend of yours? Do you know where the Xelric Draw is? Or maybe your peoplehave another name for it? Did you ever see —?” [Ryder Windham’s The Life andLegend of Obi-Wan Kenobi]
Obi-Wan bowed slightly and said, “Iam Obi-Wan Kenobi.” Before the figure could respond, Anakin interjected, “Ithink he’s a Tusken Raider from Tatooine!” Pointing to the weapons at theTusken’s belt, Anakin added, “But he’s aJedi too, like us. Only he has two lightsabers.” Indeed, the quiet figureon the balcony was, by all appearances, a Tusken Raider. Obi-Wan could see hisown reflection as he peered into the red lenses of the Tusken Jedi’s goggles.“Please forgive my impetuous Padawan’s manners,” Obi-Wan said. “We welcome youto the Jedi Order, A’Sharad Hett.” [Ryder Windham’s The Life and Legend ofObi-Wan Kenobi]
Anakins, despitegrowing up surrounded by people hating on Tusken Raiders, was actually surprisinglyaccepting of them. He demonstrated no fear, no hate and no reservations, only ahealthy childish curiosity.
His viewsonly changed after Shmi’s death. and even then, he still managed to work with  A'Sharad Hett, who re-humanized the Tusken Raidersin Anakin’s eyes by removing his mask and showing him how similar they were.Anakin even confessed to Hett what happened in Tatooine. Unfortunately, after the war, as Vader, hewas too consumed by fear and hate to ever deal with what he did and change howhe looked at the Tusken.
To put it simply: the Tuskens were victims. That’s clear byhow some characters talk about them. But that doesn’t mean they are beyondreproach or are morally justified in everything they do. And it also doesn’tmean that what happened to Shmi wasn’t terrible crime or that Anakin killed thembecause he was entitled, privileged or racist.
Fans sympathize with the Tusken Raiders because they are were ostracized and killedby a violent and corrupt society that completely dehumanized them. And somepeople do try to make it all about Anakin and how Anakin is the worst™, whenin truth, the situation is much more complex than that.
The key here, imo, is to understand that though the Tusken Raiders were violent and victimized many Tatooine residents, they were also victims and have been victimized themselves. And that Anakin, though guilty of many crimes, wasn’t part of this particular problem until Shmi was killed. There victims on both sides, not many innocents.
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dylanobrienisbatman · 6 years
Text
100 Questions
it’s long so it’s under the cut, but man was this fun. thanks for the tag @the-most-beautiful-broom ♥ i’ll tag my loves (if you want to haha this is a lot) @raven-reyes-of-sunshine @perhalta @dracovengeance @hedaalicia and @amihanmayari
1. What is your nickname? Bails
2. How old are you? 24
3. What is your birth month? February
4. What is your zodiac sign? Aquarius!
5. What is your favorite color? green (Aw hey linds, same !!) 
6. What’s your lucky number? I was number 8 for marching band every single year (F8 for flute 8) except my junior year, and my junior year we had a shit show, so im calling that. 
7. Do you have any pets? 5 dogs back home in seattle but none where i live now or in NY when i get back
8. Where are you from? everywhere and nowhere. my dads military. but im american! 
9. How tall are you? 5’ 5″
10. What shoe size are you? 7
11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? A whole lot, but they’re not always all with me. 
12. Are you random? not really. im pretty set in my routines and very comfortably a home body
13. Last person you texted? my best friend @broadwaybound2016
14. Are you psychic in any way? not even a little tbh
15. Last TV show watched? The Bold Type (WATCH IT ITS AMAZING)
16. Favorite movie? I’m not really sure but i just watched Love, Simon and im literally just crying because of it right now so im gonna go with that until further notice
17. Favorite show from your childhood? probably Lizze McGuire
18. Do you want children? Nope
19. Do you want a church wedding? I dont really want to get married
20. What is your religion? agnostic? maybe? im not religious, and not very spiritual. I love spirituality, things like crystals and stuff, but i try not to appropriate those things from groups/cultures who actually use them. I’d love to learn more about them and be someone who actually knew how to practice but, again, i dont want to step on toes culturally and take things that aren’t mine to take
21. Have you ever been to the hospital? a lot! a ton of surgeries on my ears
22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? nope, im literally a goody two shoes
23. How is life? lovely
24. Baths or showers? showers!
25. What color socks are you wearing? i dont really wear socks? i like those little half socks. I’m not wearing any rn
26. Have you ever been famous? nope.
27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? probably. i’d love to have a voice, and if it was for doing something i love, i cant think of anything better than getting to share my passion with the world like that. But it would definitely be a lot of pressure
28. What type of music do you like? i’m into literally anything. I love Hayley Kiyoko, the 1975, big fan of just basic pop like ariana grande and charlie puth, Harry Styles’s album is a masterpiece, Shawn Mendes, 5th Harmony. i love anything.
29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yes!!
30. How many pillows do you sleep with? just two!
31. What position do you usually sleep in? on my stomach
32. How big is your house? my house at home is a 5 bedroom 3 bath, my apt in amsterdam rn is just a room in a hotel type place with my own bathroom, and my apt in nyc is a studio
33. What do you typically have for breakfast? i literally hardly ever eat breakfast, but i love a bagel
34. Have you ever left the country? I’m in europe RIGHT NOW! lol
35. Have you ever tried archery? once, i was terrible
36. Do you like anyone? Not right now, but i might want too
37. Favorite swear word? i love the word fuck. it’s got so much you can do with it. i swear like a sailor.
38. When do you fall asleep? ummmmmm? whenever i guess lol 
39. Do you have any scars? A few small ones. a decent one on my knee from falling off my bike when i was 8
40. Sexual orientation? Bisexual
41. Are you a good liar? excellent
42. What languages would you like to learn? ALLLL the languages. I’d love to learn native hawai’ian. i spent my high school years there and the culture is so incredible, and i was so welcomed into it by my friends who were from there, i’d love a chance to really connect too it and try to learn that. 
43. Top 10 songs? Oh boy... im just gonna bullet these because i cant decide the order but this is the general
the way i am - charlie puth
young god - halsey 
rather be - clean bandit
feelings - hayley kiyoko
woman - harry styles 
make me feel - janelle monáe 
six inch heels - beyonce 
get right witcha - migos
my my my - troye sivan 
nice for what - drake 
44. Do you like your country? i’m torn at the moment. I hate tr*mp and everything him and his stand for, but i think america can be a wonderful place. 
45. Do you have friends from the web? Yes!! <3
46. What is your personality type? MBTI: INTP 
47. Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw
48. Can you curl your tongue? yes!
49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? I am Hermione and Hermione is me. (also i really relate a lot to Lexa from the 100, which... is interesting. the way she suppresses feelings, her generally logical approach to things, the way she is totally useless around pretty girls.) 
50. Left or right handed? right!
51. Are you scared of spiders? If they’re like, big spiders yes. or if they come out of nowhere. im way more scared of cockroaches tho.
52. Favorite food? For some reason this question has been really hard for me lately? idk. i love a good indian style curry, and tacos? 
53. Favorite foreign food? Indian!
54. Are you a clean or messy person? I’m CLEAN, but im messy. i feel like cleanliness and orderliness have been misconstrued to mean the same thing, but clean is to dirty as orderly is to messy. I’m clean and messy, i am not very orderly, and i am NOT dirty. 
55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Experience a walk down the street in a city at night where im not afraid
56. What color underwear? black
57. How long does it take for you to get ready? not too long, but it sometimes takes me a long ass time to pick an outfit 
58. Do you have much of an ego? It’s as big as it should be. 
59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? i suck on them until i can bite them
60. Do you talk to yourself? Constantly.
61. Do you sing to yourself? Hell yeah
62. Are you a good singer? i’m decent but i need another voice to match with. on my own i can’t carry a tune. 
63. Biggest Fears? failure. and heights. 
64. Are you a gossip? I can be, but never about like.. bad things. I like to talk about how this friend or that friend did x y z cool thing but im not like “omg did you hear so and so hooked up with so and so” 
65. Are you a grammar nazi? Not really because i can’t spell for shit
66. Do you have long or short hair? Short-ish? i cut my hair in march of LAST YEAR and then trimmed it again this year and i want it to fucking grow
67. Can you name all 50 states of America? i would definitely forget some
68. Favorite school subject? History
69. Extrovert or Introvert? Pretty introverted. 
70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nah, im not allowed too for medical reasons
71. What makes you nervous? when I see kids wandering and their parents not noticing (okay im keeping that because me too, but also travelling? like the in-transit part of travel, catching busses/trains/planes makes me panic)
72. Are you scared of the dark? not at all
73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? i try not too unless its major. usually its unintentional or the mistake is irrelevant to the flow of the conversation/situation  
74. Are you ticklish? Yes, but i hate being tickled unless its like, my sister or my dad
75. Have you ever started a rumor? No
76. Have you ever been out of your home country? Yes i have lol (linds, ily, we DEFINITELY have been over this already)
77. Have you ever drank underage? a little, but not until i was like 19, and then i was in europe for 6 months, so i didnt REALLY drink underage until i was like... less than 6 months to 21
78. Have you ever done drugs? Pot pretty regularly here in Amsterdam, and i’ve done shrooms
79. What do you fantasize about? getting a beautiful loft in a big city (preferrably london or NYC), with a kick ass job, a dog, and maybe a girlfriend with huge curly hair.
80. How many piercings do you have? Four
81. Can you roll your R’s? Yep!
82. How fast can you type? I just took a little online quiz that said i can type 72 words per minute with 93% accuracy? 
83. How fast can you run? lol I don’t run (same linds... same)
84. What color is your hair? brown!
85. What color are your eyes? Green!
86. What are you allergic to? I’m a bit lactose intolerant and pineapple makes my tongue itch?
87. Do you keep a journal? no, but i wish i did sometimes 
88. Are you depressed about anything? I’m not depressed “about anything”, im just generally someone who experiences a pretty mild case of depression.
89. Do you like your age? Yeah, i dig it.
90. What makes you angry? bigotry, ignorance, and spilling things. I spill drinks constantly, i spilled a WHOLE BOWL OF CEREAL ON MY FLOOR THE OTHER NIGHT.  
91. Do you like your own name? I didn’t used too but i really do now
92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? not that i know of
93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? I don’t want kids. 
94. What talents do you have? i have a pretty great memory, but for random things i dont need 
95. Sun or moon? Moon <3
96. How did you get your name? My dad, he just liked it. My middle name was also my dad, he heard the name Jess on the movie A Man From Snowy River and he thought it was a nice like, nickname/pet name, so he gave me the middle name Ges (pronounced like Jess) with the intent of calling me that (it didnt stick), but he didn’t want anyone to think my middle name was Jessica, so he spelled it Ges.
97. Are you religious? I am not, but i have a lot of respect for the concept of religion, as long as its used for the real purpose, which is to make people feel peace and help people find love and comfort. 
98. Have you ever been to a therapist? I have not, but i shold
99. Color of your bedspread? White
100. Color of your room? White, with one black wall 
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wasabi-duck · 6 years
Text
romeo - namjoon
idk how to label this because romeo and juliet is obviously Straight so like im just calling it romeo namjoon so i hope you enjoy!! again, it’s gender neutral so!!
hey people i submitted all my college apps so i think i can maybe try harder with this blog
okay so for this au!! you and namjoon are fated to be together
the kim family is really really prominent in society today
not so much political or social, but economically-speaking they’re one of the top players across the board
his family controls the shipping market, whether it be post, or air, or sea
they control it all
almost everything goes through the kim family shipping industry if it isn’t public post
and that’s just the domestic market, they also do a whole ton of international business too, and have a presence all across the globe- from china, to the usa, to germany
growing up, namjoon knew that he was going to inherit the business
his entire life his family prepped him for the business, whether it be training in how to be polite and diplomatic, to going to the most prestigious schools in the country to make sure that he was over and beyond when it came to areas like economics and maths
namjoon’s entire existence revolved around being the heir for the powerful kim business, and it was almost like he wasn’t allowed to exist
he was there for the money, the power, the glory
never for himself
he always lived in the shadow of his parents, or the business
as he got older, things got worse
because more expectations were pushed on him, and suddenly the 97 in differential equations wasn’t good enough, he needed 100
and days where he used to sit in his room, messing around with a music program on his computer… he now needs to force himself to meet anyone and everyone who might have some relation to his future in the business world, half of them who are over the age of like… seventy-two
and as he got older, things also got worse because of well…
you
well, not exactly you, but your family
your family runs the most well-known media outlet in the country
and that’s just a nice way to put it
you guys are basically the paparazzi, and although there are other, smaller groups around, none of them compare to your family
seeing as how the kims are the most influential people in the shipping business, and some of the most powerful people in the business playing field, so your basically always trailing them wherever they go
it’s never a role that you wanted to be a part of
you always wanted to be a normal kid, with a normal life
but you remember one of your first gifts being a camera, and not like a cute lil baby camera, but a nice, expensive one
and you were like anyway i was like five but…
so your entire life you’ve been told that the most important goal is to find the truth, no matter what the cost
but your family definitely stretched that a bit, and you can’t help but think they invade to many private lives just to get a story, just to find anything that will make the public go absolutely wild
because of this, you’ve run into namjoon more than a few times
never personally, and never to chit-chat, but simply because you were on the scene, your camera held in your shaking hands as you tried to snap pictures of him getting out of the airport
you kind of… think he’s cute…
but it’s not like you could ever approach him
you know his family hates your family’s guts…
and your family isn’t necessarily a fan of the kims either
your family just sticks with them for the money, there’s no idolization there, actually quite the opposite, they dislike the kims for their disillusion towards the general public
when you sit down and think about it, more of the stories your family has published have been scandalous
which you know is because the public likes that…
but also because your family wants to see them pay for their general disregard and mistreatment of the public
because the kims are notorious for having prices much too high for the average person to pay continually, and since they have a monopoly on the industry, there is no competition and no incentive to work better
and so to say that there’s some animosity between your families… would be right
but you’re drawn to namjoon
he seems different from his family
where they all appear stiff and cold, his smile could light up an entire room
you’ve never seen him speak rudely to any of the paparazzi, or the public
he handles himself so professionally, and when you have had the privilege to sit in on press conference or public business meetings… he always is polite and courteous, and always listens to what everyone else has to say
and you kinda have a lil crush on him
but you’re just the shy kid behind the camera…
so like, he’d never notice you anyway
but then…
an invitation to a party shows up on your doorstep one day
your crazy mother realizes that ah yes, a party for the most socially elite means that you can get so much dirt on people there, so she’s like haha… you gotta go
and you’re like can i not i would rather sit inside and marry leo off to selena because they are my otp,,,
and your mom is like anyway you better figure out what you’re wearing
you wanna know how the hell you got invited in the first place, but you guess because your family is socially prominent you were somehow invited too…
okay so party time
it’s at some nightclub??
your girl is underage as heck so idk what they’re about
anyway i imagine some great dance music would be playing, with the bass super boosted, like idk… everytime we touch by cascada
and the lights are all dark but they have strobe lights going i think that’s what they’re called at least
and it’s, like i said, super dark, so it’s not like you can see anyone, and you maybe forgot your camera
and like there are so many people!! no matter where you go, there are at least twenty people accidentally bumping into you and it’s all a little overwhelming, so you grab a drink (grape juice) and head over to the back corner of the club where it’s less noisy, and there are less people around to bother you,,,
finally, some peace and quiet…
you close your eyes and take a deep breath
your parents would flip if you came home early, and there’s no use being outside, alone, in the dark, when everything is closed…
so you stay put, instead rummaging around your bag to see if you can find your earbuds and phone so you can just chill by yourself
you grab onto what you assume is your earbuds, but before you can pull them out, someone bumps into you, with enough impact that you topple forward
the person, apparently startled just as much as you, loses their balances, and falls on the ground right beside you
you look up
and everything slows down
it’s the part of everytime we touch where she’s like your arms are my castle btw
you blink, your eyes unable to focus in the dim light, and when your vision finally clears, you recognize the person to be none other than kim namjoon…
you startle, quickly pulling away from him, your face red in embarrassment
namjoon frowns, clearly confused, but then a look of recognition spreads across his face and he smiles a little shyly
“i think i know you.”
you nod slowly, not taking your gaze off of him
“i think i know you too…”
he stands up, then offers you a hand, which you take gratefully
he coughs awkwardly and you put your hand on the back of your neck
“um… i’m namjoon.”
and you introduce yourself too, and you almost feel the need to apologize because you’re sure that you and your family have caused him so much trouble
but you don’t know what to say, but you stay silent, unsure of what you should do next
namjoon doesn’t say anything at first, but then he sees something on the floor, and bends over to pick it up
it’s your earbuds
he hands them over with a small smile “i had the same idea.”
“parties aren’t really my thing…” you laugh softly
“mine either.” he pauses, shoving his hands in his pockets before adding, “so if you want to… maybe head outside?”
your brows furrow
“god that probably sounded creepy, i meant, like get out of here, i know a cool little diner that’s open twenty-four hours, the coffee sucks, but the dessert is pretty great.”
you laugh and nod sheepishly “yah, that sounds nice.”
so you and namjoon dip out of the party, and head down to the cafe where you talk the entire night away
you exchange numbers too hehe
anyway, as the weeks progress, you two talk more and more, and things get a little flirtier and flirtier
and you’ve become glued to your phone, and your cousin, yoongi, is like, “anyway who’s the hot babe and do they have a brother”
and youre like “yoongi,,, plz,,, it is not like that, namjoon is just a- ooPS”
cause you had namjoon under a code name like “B)” or something awful like that and you thought that you had this all under wraps but now you just basically admitted everything to yoongi isn’t that just the greatest
“kim namjoon? like the guy our family is so intent on stalking and tarnishing his name and everything? the kim namjoon who wears beanie when it is obviously bucket hat season?? that kim namjoon?”
“um…”
“he totally has a hot cousin.”
you blink “so wait, you’re not… telling on me?”
yoongi shrugs “i don’t see why i should.”
and you smile and hug him and yoongi just laughs and ruffles your hair
yoongi is the one who covers for you when you sneak out to see namjoon
and boy howdy do you see namjoon a lot
like yoongi always drives you to meet up with him, whether it be the diner, or the park, or the city!!
and he always makes awful excuses when your family asks where you are
and namjoon’s cousin, jungkook, does the same thing for him, and the two of them often meet up and laugh about it over bitter coffee
you and namjoon are so in love though, and it’s a passionate affair, not for the cheating aspect, god no, but because everything must be done in secret
every time you press your lips to his, you’re afraid that suddenly your mother will walk around the corner and rip you away from his arms
and when you two are out and about, walking down the streets, your hold his hand so tightly, so fearful that you could be torn away from him at any second
every time you call him it’s late at night, because you’re scared that your father might accidentally stop and listen in when you’re least expecting it, and your entire world will crumble to pieces
namjoon is the same way though, extra careful, extra cautious, and he always says it, says he hates how you two have to hide your relationship just because your guys’ parents hate each other
but it’s something he’s willing to hide if it means seeing you every day, being with you every day
except that you two aren’t as careful as you should hope to be, because one day you leave your phone unlocked and it just so happens that your mother was cleaning up your room a little bit, and she picked up the phone and read the messages and realized that these gentle “i love yous” were all sent to none other than kim namjoon
and she hurries down the steps, your phone in her hand, cursing and shouting and asking you what in the hell you’re thinking
and your eyes widen in horror as you realize your mistake and you rush over to try and grab the phone from her hands, but in a fit of rage, she throws the phone down and it’s probably an awful iphone or something so the entire thing shatters in a million pieces
this of course is your breaking point, and you start to sob, begging your mother to change her mind, trying to tell her that there’s nothing wrong about this, but she doesn’t listen, instead storms off to go talk to your father
you kneel down and hold the broken phone in your hands, continuing to cry harder
yoongi, startled by the commotion, comes racing in, and when he sees you, sees the scene, everything clicks
he holds you in his arms and promising things will be okay but you know they will not
after that, your parents ban you from leaving the house
you are confined to your room, and if you want to leave your room, you have to stay within the house, even being limited to indoors, as in, like can’t even see the garden
at first, namjoon thinks you’re ignoring him or something and his heart breaks because it’s not like you to ignore him, ever
but yoongi texts jungkook who tells namjoon the situation, and from that moment on, he is planning a way to get you back
one night, it’s been like a week since the incident, you are sitting on your bed, watching psych
when you hear a faint knock
you think it must be a squirrel or something like that outside?
so you ignore it
but the noise continues
so you head over to your window, and step out into the balcony, and standing there, with a large bag slung over his shoulders, is namjoon
he waves, and you cup your hands over your mouth
“are you coming?”
“like hell i’m gonna trust you to catch me!”
you laugh, and the tears have already started to prick the corners of your eyes
he smiles softly “i love you”
“I love you too namjoon…”
and im saying the balcony isn’t super high so you’re like fxxk it and you jump and he catches you and you’re both safe and sound
and when you are safely on your feet, you lean up and kiss him and he wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you close
and it feels like you kiss him for an eternity, and you want to kiss him for an eternity, but he says there’s no time, and that you two need to hurry before someone realizes something is up
he says that his friend hoseok is offering up his place for you two to stay
and with that, you two vanish into the night
obviously both sets of parents find out, and it doesn’t take them long to realize where you two are hiding
but namjoon is like nah not coming home until you recognize our love,,,
and so both parents are like our children and their happiness are most important so they are willing to make amends
you and namjoon come back home but he was digging the cute apartment vibe so he asks if you two can move out together if he still decides to manage the business in the near future
and your parents are all !! about it at first but they agree because you two are most important
and you and namjoon are happily in love and you have a cute apartment where you two snuggle and kiss all the time mwah mwah
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