#so ill find it later ig to add to this

[shatteredfears-arch]

its 330 am, i have work at 11 am and have to be awame by 8, this is fine, heres more donna/angie/claudia thoughts

if claudia’s bones formed Angie, and claudia’s soul was attached to those bones, donna sharing her cadou with angie adda to the idea that angie’s personality being so vastly different from donna’s is because it isnt donna’s personality, it’s the personality donna looked up to and wished she had: its claudia.

donna is based on the folklore surrounding the weeping spirit haunting a desolate ground, the possession of dolls and the calls of the banshees.

donna was transformed after claudia’s death, and claudias canon death is 1996, at the age of 9 years old at most. donna was given angie after the fact, and given to miranda as a gift of her parents loyalty shortly after that.

miranda clearly let donna be raised in the house still, since the servants mention her steadily changing personality. which, as donna’s appearance change is never mentioned while theyre alive, leads me to believe miranda was performing more minor tests first. definitely looking at the young (likely 8-15 years old, at most) donna. The diary (in japanese text) says she suffered from extreme interpersonal fear as a small child, and i doubt it ever truly got better. The ‘gift’ seemed to be growing, and Donna started talking through Claudia. But Donna hadn’t received the Cadou yet, at least not fully, because if she had he would have seen her scar. he never mentions it.

also, something kind of concerning if you look at it too long. the part of angie’s face not made from the family crest? it looks like a younger donna. it looks like her dad might literally have deboned claudia’s corpse, and kept her face to preserve it in some way and use in angie. Meaning Claudia would be even more attached to angie.

which leads to this point: if claudia was the one actually speaking. the gardener says Donna was speaking through angie. Ventriloquists, most of the time you dont see their lips move when they speak. for all he knew, it was donna that was speaking, but the only time donna canonically speaks is when she forces a hallucination on ethan symbolizing speech. She does not talk, she’s nonverbal, and clearly miranda decided that was enough reason to claim her too ‘mentally ill’ to properly function as Eva.

Even in Miranda’s notes, she says Donna’s affliction with the cadou is extremely affinitive. If she were already disfigured from the cadou at that point, i doubt miranda would give such high prospects. she dissed all over cina for far less. i think the cadou disfigurement was after those notes were made, maybe miranda saying she’d offer donna more ability to spread the cadou to her dolls, not realizing what the cost would be.

and, maybe she didnt care, because claudia’s disdainful spirit, the only person donna actively listened to, was pulling her strings.

donna is the looming spirit, the haunting figure who’d been controlled and ignored all her life, and the only ones that cared either died or killed themselves. claudia’s death likely wasnt natural, and could have been a result of miranda’s experiments, thus making the likelihood that if angie’s made from claudia’s corpse, angie and claudia are one and the same all the more likely.

and donna giving angie most of her spirit with her initial transfiguring of power, would mean she gave most of her spirit, her power, and her mind to her sister, not a simple empty doll like her other dolls are.

thats why angie has the most power, and angie controls the rest of them.

and donna’s physical body is now too weak to do anything.

claudia could be steadily trapping donna into angie’s body with her, ensuring that they’d never be alone. And when Duke buys Angie off of Ethan, he’s getting the essence of not only Donna, but Claudia as well.

and one thing often stated in folklore

nothing is often stronger than the spirit of a deceased child.

#i was z trying to find the paper that said when donna’s tenth birthday was bc mentally i think it was 207 #*2007 #but i dont fu #CKING REMEMBER and didnt feel lime going thru a whole playthrough to find it #so ill find it later ig to add to this #but donna is fucking y o u n g dude idc what the image makes ppl tbink #《 passed down like folk songs 》HEADCANONS #Ω my broken bones are mending Ω HEADCANON #child death cw #taxidermy cw #basically anyways #so yeah donnas life was fucked and honestly not that different to every aut wver #case on point /POKNTS AT SELF #mine selective mutism tho i couldnt talk at all until i was four and that was only to my mom #like sox for anyone else #and even now sometimes my voice just shuts down #you’d think od be more attached to donna than cass but ehre i am

[fairyhaos]

❖ take care of me anyway // yoon jeonghan

jeonghan x gn!reader, 1.7k+ words

tags: office worker!jeonghan not rlly relevant to the plot tho, sick fic, fluff, established relationship

warnings: brief fever-induced hallucinations ig?? but theyre rlly cute, pet names, reader has a cold

notes: im sick. like, 'i have a cold' sick. and i also have another sick fic planned so uhh yeah im a little Unwell in the head too

There are ten minutes left of Jeonghan’s lunch break when you finally call him.

“Hello, my darling,” he says, his tone both parts dry and amused. “How are you?”

“Sick,” you reply, and even just that word sounds horribly bunged up. “But you knew that already, didn’t you? You called in sick for me.”

Jeonghan just hums, smiling a little as he adjusts the phone against his ear, walking down the street back to his company building. “Maybe I did.”

You don’t say anything for a moment, and he can almost hear you pouting on the other end of the line. There’s a rustling sound as you adjust yourself in bed, and he sighs.

“How sick are you?”

“Very,” you say, miserably, and then give a series of harsh, wet coughs that has him wincing. “Very sick. I only just woke up, but my head is just…” You don’t finish your sentence. Just make a very pained sound like a wounded puppy.

Jeonghan chuckles. “Gee, I wonder how you managed to get so sick. It’s not like walking home in the pouring rain without a coat makes you ill, isn’t it?”

You whine at that, upset. “Han, I told you, I was gonna call you but my phone was dead. I had no choice! Wanted to get home fast to see you,” you add in a mumble, sounding dejected.

He smiles at that. “It wasn’t like I was going anywhere, though,” he points out. “I was all comfortably squished on the couch. I wasn’t gonna disappear any time soon. You could’ve taken your time. Waited for the rain to pass.”

“Yeah, but still,” you huff petulantly, then sniff. “Can you make soup when you get back home?” you ask after a beat, and sniffle again. “And also buy some tissues? And meds? And give me cuddles?”

Jeonghan chuckles at how pitiful you sound, resisting the urge to coo. “No.”

“What?” You’re whining again, and you sound all bunged up but Jeonghan just smiles, amused. “But your darling Y/N is currently suffering the worst cold in the entire world.”

“But alas, I think my darling Y/N is the sole person to blame for this cold,” Jeonghan says, lips twitching upwards. “Don't you think so?”

“Come take care of me anyway.”

“No.”

You make a noise of discontent, sheets rustling as you shift around in bed again. “Hmph. Worst boyfriend ever. I’m breaking up with you.”

That makes him laugh, the stunned sound being pulled out of him by your deadpan tone, and he grins to himself out on the street, rounding the corner until his company building is in sight. “Whatever you say,” he singsongs. “I’ll see later, okay?”

“Whatever. Bye.” A pause. “Have a nice day.”

Jeonghan smiles as you hang up, looking fondly down at your contact name. He’s standing in front of the company entrance, now, and he has three minutes of his break left. Just enough time to get into the elevator and up to his office.

He pockets his phone, turns on his heel and traipses off to find the nearest pharmacy.

───────────── 🧂

You’ve been drifting in and out of sleep the entire day, constantly stuck in that drowsy, so-sick-that-nothing-feels-real state, and you’ve hallucinated Jeonghan coming home a total of thirteen times in the past five hours.

At least, you think it’s been five hours.

Maybe it’s been less than that.

Whatever. Time is weird.

The point is, your mind is all fuzzy and everything feels like it’s floating, so when someone who looks an awful lot like Jeonghan comes into the room, you just groan. Hallucination Jeonghan #14 has come to pay you a visit, it seems, so you just frown and give him the response that you’ve given all his other clones.

“Go away. Stop trying to sell me fish.”

Hallucination Jeonghan #14 makes a confused noise at that, walking closer to your bed, leaning over to adjust your pillows and pull you up into a more upright position.

“I don’t want your fish,” you say, just in case he didn’t hear you the first time. “Stop it.”

That makes the hallucination chuckle, and his hand comes up to your forehead. 

Cold. Huh. None of the other hallucinations touched you before.

His hand drops from your forehead, swiping at the soft skin under your eyes gently, and his fingers are blessedly cool against your skin. You hadn’t realised how much you were burning up before.

“You’re really, really sick,” Hallucination Jeonghan #14 murmurs, and he sounds so concerned, before pulling out a bottle of water from one of the plastic bags he’s holding. Woah, you hadn’t even realised he was holding them. “Here, darling. Drink.”

You obediently take a sip once he uncaps the lid for you, before making small noises of distress when some of it spills down your shirt. Hallucination Jeonghan #14 (wow was it a mouthful to say, even in your head) just hushes you gently, dabbing at it with tissues that he’d procured from the plastic bags. 

“It’s okay,” he says softly, and his hands take yours, clasping them around the bottle. Once you’re holding it, he gets up, and for a horrible moment, you think this hallucination is going to leave again. You kind of like this one.

“Where’re you going?” you ask, but it comes out as more of a slur of vowels. You’re not sure he understood a word.

 “Drink up,” is all he says. He fishes out a packet of pills from the bag (it’s like a magic bag, you think blearily. It seems to have everything inside it). “Have these as well, okay? I’ll go make that soup you wanted.”

You nod, blinking. Dutifully, you sip the water that the hallucination has left you, because really this was one of the most gentle, doting, Jeonghan-like Hallucination Jeonghan and it kind of feels like he really does have your best interests at heart. 

Unlike the other Hallucination Jeonghans, who just wanted to sell you fish. This one really seemed to care about your well-being. 

You blink again, slowly. 

Oh. 

By the time Jeonghan comes back with a gently steaming bowl of chicken soup on a tray with a mug of tea, you're more lucid than before, pouting at him as he comes closer, having remembered his last words before you’d hung up the phone.

“You said you weren’t going to take care of me.”

Jeonghan doesn’t say anything, setting the tray on the bedside table, before sitting down on the edge of your bed, wordlessly picking up the bowl and spoonfeeding you some soup. You open your mouth easily, and he hums in approval with a smile.

“What kind of boyfriend would I be if I let my darling be sick all alone, hm?” he says. “I can’t do that. Especially if you’re also seeing hallucinations of me who are trying to sell you fish.”

He continues feeding you soup in tiny sips, and the entire situation feels weirdly vulnerable, with you propped up on pillows and Jeonghan making small noises of approval every time you successfully swallow a spoonful. Like you’re a little baby bird, or something.

But he smiles so lovingly at you the entire time, so it’s kind of hard to feel too embarrassed.

“Well done,” Jeonghan murmurs, once you’ve finished half of the bowl. Your boyfriend is affectionate, almost overbearingly so at times, always poking you in the side or pinching your cheeks or tweaking your nose, but the softness with which he treats you right now is a whole other level of affection entirely.

Jeonghan cares deeply for you. You know that. You’ve never doubted how much he loves you, and he never gives you reason to doubt it. But still, when he smooths down your hair and strokes the back of your hand and gazes at you so gently, it makes you realise yet again that oh God, he loves you.

“We’re going to get you to finish the rest of the soup in a minute,” he says, reaching down towards the plastic bag at his feet, “but first. I wanted you to have this.”

Out of the bag, he pulls out…

A fluffy bunny plushie.

You blink, tilting your head, sniffing in confusion and also to try and unblock your bunged up nose. “What?”

“Say hi to Jjongie,” Jeonghan says. “He came up to me when I was buying your soup, and I couldn’t not bring him home.” The bunny’s pink ears flop adorably into its eyes as he holds out the soft toy to you. It even has a cream coloured ribbon around its neck. “He’s gonna keep you company whenever I can’t be here for you.”

“Oh,” you say softly, taking Jjongie from him with a smile. You rub your thumb over the soft fur of the bunny’s cheek. “He’s adorable.”

Jeonghan beams, proud. “Of course he is. He’s a me-substitute.”

You look up at him, smiling. “Han, I—” You can’t finish your sentence, too choked up. Literally. You suddenly start coughing, hand coming up to cover your mouth, and Jeonghan rushes forward with the mug of tea and an opened box of tissues that he suddenly procured out of nowhere.

“Hey, it’s okay, no need to cry over it,” he says teasingly as you glare at him, eyes tearing up from how hard you’re coughing. You accept the tissues and, when he pushes the tea insistently in you direction, you take the mug too.

“Yeah, yeah.” You blow your nose with one hand and then drink the tea, noting with a smile the subtle notes of honey in it. “Thank you,” you add, softly, looking down at Jjongie in your lap. Jeonghan really has gone out of his way for you.

Jeonghan just shakes his head, picking up the soup bowl again. “Thank me once you get better,” he says. “You can take care of me after. I’ll probably be catching your illness from looking after you.”

You grin, blowing your nose again, and even you can’t miss the way that Jeonghan watches you, eyes devastatingly fond.

“Yeah, but you’re gonna look after me anyways, aren’t you?”

Jeonghan grins, unashamedly bright. He taps the spoon against your lips, smiling wider when you sip the soup, the mug of tea in your hands, Jjongie the bunny in your lap. 

“Duh. I love you too much not to.”

fics tags: @jeonginssa @weird-bookworm @minhui896 @bunnyiix @slytherinshua @haowrld @belladaises @moonlitskiiies @mirxzii @zozojella @kawennote09 @thedensworld @a-wandering-stay @abibliolife @doublasting @wonranghaeee @icyminghao @sweet-like-caramel @your-yxnnie @evasaysstuff @odxrilove @kyeomyun @crackedpumpkin @jeonride @kellesvt @butiluvu @sakufilms @eightlightstar @onlyyjeonghan @aaniag @amxlia-stars @raevyng @isabellah29

#fairyhaos.works #k-labels #svt #seventeen #jeonghan #seventeen fic #jeonghan fic #svt fic #svt jeonghan #svt x reader #jeonghan x reader #yoon jeonghan #jeonghan x you #seventeen x you #jeonghan x y/n #seventeen x y/n #seventeen x reader #seventeen jeonghan #seventeen yoon jeonghan #svt yoon jeonghan #svt fluff #seventeen fluff #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan imagines #seventeen imagines #jeonghan au #svt au #seventeen fanfic

[juyeonszn]

SACRIFICE (EAT ME UP)

PAIRING lee hyunjae x f!reader

WORD COUNT 9.17k

GENRES horror ﹒ smut ﹒ angst ﹒ fluff ig?

WARNINGS 18+ MINORS DO NOT INTERACT, mature language, mentions of murder, descriptions of crime scenes, mentions of blood, mentions of knifes, graphic description of stab wounds, mentions of potential mental illness, THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS THAT CONSTITUTE WARNINGS BUT ?!1?1 I DONT WANT TO SPOIL !1!2!2, Lots of Kissing, mutual masturbation (f! receiving fingering & m! receiving hand job), pillow talk ig, big dick hyunjae 😈, um unprotected sex lol be safe u silly geese, car sex, cowgirl position yeehaw, creampie, this entire fic is just a whole fucking roller coaster i stg it’s gonna haunt me forever

SUMMARY with a serial killer running rampant on campus, everyone around you seems to be dropping like flies. but, hey, at least you have hyunjae to protect you.

MORE omg.. my first written work for tbz 🙀 extra super fun fact; this was originally an idea i had for hyunjin from skz on my other blog that i actually started writing the week before halloween last year (the reason it’s a horror fic), but i never finished and sort of felt like there was no point in continuing it after a while— that is until i stumbled upon the draft a few weeks ago and decided to revamp, edit, and complete it 😋 i kept going back and rereading and then blanking when i wanted to add to it until last night when i said fuck it and drank two cups of coffee to power through the end 🙌 anyways.. here u all go, my baby that i never thought would see the light of day and my first time writing a genuine horror piece <3 also special shoutout to rina my soulmate @tsukidou for beta reading 🫶

PLAYLIST sacrifice (eat me up) — enhypen, awake — the boyz, roar — the boyz, fever — enhypen, fate — enhypen, taste — stray kids, wake up — ateez, white noise — pvris, heaven — pvris

“Alright, that’s all for today’s lecture. If this was your last of the day, make sure to find someone to go home with and remember the curfew rules!” Your English professor says, concluding the class.

The students around you rush to pack up their things and get off of campus as soon as possible. You don’t seem to be in a hurry, though, taking your time to put away your notebook and laptop. Your roommates were still in their music production class, so you didn’t want to go home alone, deciding to wait until they were done.

“Y/N, don’t you wanna get home?” Professor Park asks, her voice echoing in the now empty lecture hall. She throws the strap of her bag over her shoulder and pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

“I do, but I have to wait for my roommates. They’re in a class right now and I’d rather not go by myself.” You let out an awkward laugh. She nods at your reasoning, giving you a small smile for comfort.

“Okay, you be careful! I’ll see you on Thursday.”

You raise your hand in a silent salutation, watching as she exits the room, leaving you completely alone. Though a public space, in a public building, the fact that there’s no one else nearby leaves you utterly unsettled. Your stomach churns with a twinge of fear and you start to feel a bit claustrophobic despite being in such a spacious area, so you choose this point to hurriedly collect your belongings and get the hell out of there.

The past couple of months have been in this weird state of limbo. You don’t recall exactly when the killings started, but once the police noticed a pattern, everyone knew sooner or later that the presence of a serial murderer would be announced on the local news. Your town enforced a citywide curfew to protect its citizens, but mostly the students at your university.

Every single one of the killer’s victims were university students. You were friends with a bunch of guys and while it was nice having big strong men surrounding you, you knew that could hardly do anything to quell the lingering anxiety you’ve felt ever since the spree began.

The police seemed to be having trouble coming up with any possible suspects, or even gaining any leads, thanks to the killer’s unusual victimology and the cool down time between murders always varying. If the people in charge of protecting you couldn’t do that, how were you supposed to feel safe?

In an attempt to get to the building where Jacob, Kevin, and Eric were as fast as you could, you speed walk out of the lecture hall, accidentally bumping into someone. You bow at a nearly ninety-degree angle and hurl out apology after apology following the collision, not trying to make any enemies in this day and time.

“Watch where you’re going, idiot.” The stranger spits, waiting for you to glance up at him to give you a nasty glare. He looks like the kind of guy who thought he was all that, despite peaking in high school. You feel your bottom lip quiver and you avoid eye contact.

“I—”

“Woah, dude, chill the fuck out. It was an accident, I’m sure she didn’t— wait, N/N, is that you? Hey it’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

There’s a familiar voice in your ears and a hand under your chin, forcing you to stand upright. Whoever you bumped into walks away with a scoff. You meet eyes with Lee Hyunjae, one of your dearest friends. He recognizes that hint of panic in your features and he frowns.

“I’m so sorry, Jae, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going—” Your breath is caught in your throat and you fumble over your words.

“Hey, hey, slow down,” he keeps a hold on your biceps. “It’s alright, I promise. He’s gone. What’s wrong?”

You shut your eyes tightly, feeling pathetic for causing such a scene for no apparent reason. Hyunjae guides you through your breathing, his focus trained on you the whole time. He always made you feel so comfortable.

“With everything that’s been going on, I’m just so paranoid and afraid of being alone. I wanted to go to the music department building and wait for the boys.” You finally explain once you’ve calmed down and the rise of your chest is even.

“How about this? I’ll take you home so you don’t have to stay on campus any longer.” He suggests, bringing up a hand to tuck some hair behind your ear. You nod slowly, gathering your bearings.

Hyunjae leads you to his car that’s parked in the lot closest to the building you were just in and the two of you make your way to your apartment. You’d been friends with your roommates for years now, meeting in eighth grade. You had just moved schools and happened to be put into a class with Eric Sohn, the most rambunctious boy you’d ever met. He thought you seemed really sweet upon first impression and decided to befriend you, introducing you to all of his friends in turn.

Aside from Eric, there was Sangyeon, Jacob, Younghoon, Hyunjae, Juyeon, Kevin, Changmin, Chanhee, Haknyeon, and Sunwoo. While it was a little overwhelming, it was nice going from zero friends to eleven in the span of just a couple days. You were pretty close to all of them, but you and Hyunjae initially hit it off the best. You understood each other on a different level than everyone else and to this day, you still don't know the exact reason why.

Towards the end of high school, your friendship with Hyunjae transformed into something that wasn’t purely platonic. You weren’t entirely sure when it started to change, but your feelings for him grew exponentially. You tried to keep them to yourself, hidden from the world to preserve your fragile teenage heart. Though you’d already been friends with them a few years at that point, you still had that inkling of dread in the pit of your stomach that one day they’d choose to stop talking to you. You especially didn’t want a silly crush to be the cause of that.

After a while, however, the lines began to blur together anyway and everyone could tell you felt for him romantically. Once, Eric had made a comment about it being so painfully obvious that Hyunjae was just as into you and it nearly shook your whole world.

When college time rolled around, you all knew you’d be attending the same university, so picking roommates was a bit of a tricky situation. You chose yours solely based on the fact that you were majoring in similar things, so it’d be easy to fit schedules together. (You also couldn’t handle being roommates with Hyunjae; it’d be too much for your heart.) Hyunjae lived with Juyeon, Changmin, and Sunwoo, while Sangyeon, Younghoon, Chanhee, and Haknyeon lived together.

Hyunjae parks in a spot near the stairs that lead to your unit. The car is still running when you unbuckle your seatbelt and you stare at the steps blankly. Though the close proximity with him has your pulse racing, you want nothing more than some company until your roommates get home. You turn to him shyly, balling up a fistful of your sweater.

“Jae, do you— do you think you could stay with me for a bit before the boys come back? I don’t— I really don’t wanna be alone right now.”

The look he gives you is full of adoration, like you personally put the stars in the sky. He smiles softly and nods, reaching across the center console to place a comforting hand on top of yours. The two of you keep them intertwined as you go inside your apartment, locking all the locks carefully before sitting on your couch.

You don’t make a comment about him not letting go despite already being in the safety of your home. You don’t say anything about him pulling you into his side either, mostly because you want him to.

With all that’s been happening recently, you’ve felt so hollow. There was this indescribable emptiness expanding in you and even though you so desperately wanted to chalk it up to something else, you knew it was due to the fact that there was growing anxiety that you could be next, that any of your friends could be next. You were starting to move like you were in a simulation, doing everything in your daily routine without a single emotion. Sure, you’d laugh when Eric made a stupid joke but that’s about the most anyone could get from you aside from the occasional panic attack.

Hyunjae being here and holding you is exactly what you needed to feel some semblance of warmth again.

There’s a soft knock on your bedroom door around eight that same night, waking you from your slumber. You don’t remember falling asleep or being moved to your bed, so you’re not too sure when Hyunjae left. You rub the sleep from your eyes as you get up to open your door.

“Hey, I didn’t mean to wake you, but we got some takeout if you’re hungry.” Jacob says with an apologetic smile, leaning on the door frame.

You give him a bleary look as you nod, following him into the dining room where your other two roommates were sitting at the table. Eric greets you through a full mouth. A small laugh escapes you when you sit across from him, Kevin adjacent to your seat. The sound of the TV in the living room plays as background noise as the four of you eat.

“So when’d you get home? I thought you were gonna wait for us.” Kevin asks.

“I was, but then I ran into Hyunjae when I was on my way to your building and he offered to bring me home,” you shrug, taking some tteokbokki with your chopsticks. “It was a whole thing, please don’t ask.”

Eric hums to himself, a mischievous grin on his face as he takes a sip of his cola. “Interesting. And you say he’s not into you…”

Heat blooms over your cheeks and you accidentally drop your chopsticks on your plate, their clacking against the ceramic garnering your roommates’ attention. Eric Sohn was now number one on your hit list. Kevin elbows him in the side and tells him to be quiet, despite the tiny upwards curve of his lips.

“If he cares about you as much as he seems like he does, he wouldn’t have left you here alone after you fell asleep,” Jacob mutters, looking at you from his peripherals. “What was the point of escorting you home if—”

“Jacob shut the fuck up,” Eric suddenly blurts, the three of you stare at him as he clambers over to the living room, turning up the volume on the TV. “Look!”

You turn in your chair, your stomach churning at the news report unfolding before you.

“We’re live just outside SNU, where another victim has been found. The body hasn’t been identified yet, but from what we do know, he was a student that attended the school,” the female reporter says into the microphone she’s holding, a glazed over expression in her eyes. “Crime Scene Investigators believe he was murdered at around six this evening, and was assumed to have been making his way home from campus. Updates are expected to come later tonight once we have more information.”

You know that far away, checked out gaze she had all too well. She’s reported on the killings for a while now, no doubt numb to the way things were at this point.

Your appetite spoils immediately and you excuse yourself from the table, making your way back to your room. You sit on your bed and bring your knees to your chest, taking a deep breath in, then covering your mouth when you breathe out to muffle the sob that follows. It was becoming too overwhelming for you and there was nothing you could do about it besides sit back and watch.

It was understandable for anyone in your situation to feel hopeless, how could they not? With someone terrorizing the city in an unpredictable manner, there was no sense of normalcy in anyone’s life. You shudder when you finally bring yourself to stop crying, digging your nails into the fat of your calves.

Through the walls, you can hear the boys talking, voices solemn.

“Why’d you have to put the TV louder, dumbass?”

“Sorry, I just like being up to date on the case, you know? I want to be prepared. What if I need to learn clone jutsu to take out the guy?”

“Eric, you’re such a clown, oh my god.”

“I get that you’re interested and all, but you have to be mindful of Y/N. You know how much this has affected her both emotionally and physically, she doesn’t need the constant reminder that it’s happening. And I’d appreciate if you apologized for telling me to ‘shut the fuck up’.”

There’s a snort in between.

“My bad, I didn’t mean to be rude about it. But while we’re on the topic, I think we both need to admit our mistakes. What you said about Hyunjae to her wasn’t cool either. I know we’re all friends, but it just came across too—”

“It was really snappy, Jacob. And a bit petty.”

“Yeah! What Kevin said.”

“I— you’re right. I just don’t want her getting hurt, in more ways than one.”

You don’t hear much else from the trio and sigh heavily, dragging your hands down your face and wiping your eyes with the heels of your palms. You grab your phone from your nightstand and hesitantly search for Hyunjae’s contact, the line ringing a couple times before he answers.

“Y/N? Is everything okay? Did something happen?”

“N-no, I’m fine. I was just— I wanted to check on you and make sure you were okay,” you mess with your bottom lip. “I heard there was another victim and I didn’t know when you left the apartment, so I just— uh— I just needed to know that you were safe. I called to see if you’d answer.”

You squeeze your eyes shut out of embarrassment, even if he can’t exactly see you. The stuttering was enough to make you go into hiding for the rest of your life if this serial killer didn’t.

“Oh,” you can hear the slight chuckle in his response from the way his breath hits the speaker. “It means a lot that you’d do that, N/N. Really, I appreciate you so much.”

Your lip finds itself between your teeth and your heart is pounding unbearably fast, you think you might be having a heart attack. You bring a hand up to clutch at your chest as a fuzzy feeling courses through your whole being.

Now you were scared for an entirely different reason.

(The main one occupies your mind again later that night when you scroll through your Twitter feed, only to find out the most recent victim was the guy you accidentally bumped into. You feel like some sick version of a guardian angel was looking after you. It makes it hard to fall asleep after that.)

A couple days passed and you found yourself thinking about Lee Hyunjae more than usual.

Not to say that you didn’t already think about him at least once a day, but now it was worse. When you woke up, you wondered if he was still asleep. While you drank your morning coffee, you wondered if it’d taste sweeter had he made it for you. When you had lunch, you wondered if he’d like the spam musubi you made yourself. When you attended your other classes, you wondered which courses he was struggling with this semester.

As you were walking out of your English class, you recalled running into him. Had he not been there, you might’ve driven yourself insane trying to rush over to the music building while diffusing the issue with that stranger.

When you first began to harbor feelings for him, you assumed it would become nothing more than a silly schoolgirl crush. He was attractive and kind to you, but that was just the bare minimum— you thought you’d grow out of it. However, as time went on, what you thought was just puppy love had blossomed into something stronger. It was a force to be reckoned with.

Of course, all of that had been tossed on the back burner with everything that’s going on. Recently you’ve been too afraid for your own safety and well-being to over analyze your interactions with Hyunjae, but now you’re back to square one.

All because he’d done something nice for you.

God, the bar was so low. Was it really too much to ask for someone who was decent? Someone who wasn’t a serial killer?

You were on your way to the music building to wait for Jacob, Kevin, and Eric once again, when you see Hyunjae coming down the hall. He’s on his phone, not paying any mind to his surroundings. You’re about to call out to him when someone stops you, tugging on the sleeve of your sweater gently.

“Hey, Y/N right?” The tall boy asks, a charming smile on his face.

“Uh— yeah,” you nod, tucking some hair behind your ear. “Y-you are?”

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I must seem like a total weirdo,” he laughs, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “I’m Mingyu! We have English together.”

“Oh, you’re Mingyu? Professor Park told me about you before class today,” you give him a small comforting smile. “I don’t mind helping you!”

“Ah, that’s great to hear. I was a bit worried you’d be more annoyed about having to tutor someone so late in the semester.” Though he’s much taller than you and approached you first, Mingyu comes across as a little shy in nature. It puts you at ease in a way.

“No, not at all! English isn’t always the easiest, I get that. I wanna help as much as I can before finals. Look,” you pause, pulling your backpack off one shoulder to rip out a sheet of paper. “I’ll give you my number so we can arrange meet up dates! I’d prefer if we met at the library if that’s okay with you?”

Mingyu grins and sports a thumbs up in agreement. “That sounds perfect. Thank you so much, Y/N!”

You scribble your phone number onto the paper and hand it to him before parting ways. With the off guard conversation, you nearly forgot about Hyunjae, who was nowhere to be seen now. You feel your lips droop into a frown, since you were hoping you could talk with him for a second.

As you’re walking across the quad to the music building, a wind chill blows past you, making you wrap your arms around yourself. It was mid November and for some stupid reason, you were only wearing a small cardigan.

When you squint up at the sky, you also realize it’s more overcast than anything. There’s an angry grey cloud right above you and you curse yourself for not having an umbrella or a raincoat. You should've been more prepared, especially because of the inconsistent weather this time of year.

Suddenly, the sky is blocked from your view and you furrow your brows, spinning around. Hyunjae stares back at you with a smile ten times warmer than the frigid air surrounding you and a thicker jacket in one hand. The other holds up an umbrella just as tiny droplets begin to fall from above.

His timing couldn’t have been better.

“Heading to the music building?” He asks, skillfully placing the coat on your shoulders.

“Mhm… was gonna wait for the boys.” You respond, a little awestruck by how gorgeous he was. Especially up close. Your eyes fixate on the freckle on his nose rather than his own. He hums, keeping an arm around your shoulders as he leads you in a different direction.

“I can take you home again,” he glances down at you. “I don’t mind one bit.”

“O-okay!”

During the car ride to your apartment, you send a quick text to your roommates about not waiting up. You were happy that your relationship with Hyunjae was evolving. The past couple semesters had been rough, and you hadn’t seen him or any of the other guys nearly as much as Jacob, Kevin, and Eric. (And that was only because you lived with them.)

You toss your keys on to the mini table beside the front door, taking off your shoes with a small groan. The boots were cute, but not very comfortable. Hyunjae follows suit, his sock clad feet shuffling against the floor to sit on the couch.

After switching on the TV, you find a random Hallmark Christmas movie to play in the background, knowing full well that his presence beside you was too distracting. The brunette turns to face you, placing a hand on your thigh gently to get your attention.

“So, who was the dude you were talking to earlier?”

You blink at his question. So he saw you after all. Was he perhaps jealous? The idea shouldn’t make you giddy, but it does. “My professor asked me to tutor him ‘cause he’s struggling with English. Why?”

“Just curious. He seemed a little touchy.” Hyunjae plays with the hem of your sweater.

“O-oh. It’s fine, he wasn’t a random perv, if that’s what you were wondering.”

He scoots a little closer to you, tucking some hair behind your ear. You feel your face flush impossibly hotter. Your heart is racing and your breath is caught in your throat. His body heat radiates off of him with the new proximity.

“Good. It drives me crazy seeing other guys put their hands on you.” He admits bluntly, his hand resting at the junction where your neck meets your shoulder.

You know you look insane, your chest heaving up and down and your eyes widened a little. Like a baby deer caught by a predator. Who knew sweet sweet Hyunjae had a rather risqué side to him? You swallow thickly, not daring to move an inch. His thumb caresses your skin gently, goosebumps littering in its wake.

“Hyunjae…” You breathe, lips parting as you finally make eye contact with him.

“You’re so pretty, Y/N.”

You want to scream into the cushion behind you, your hands clamming up. Hyunjae looks like he could swallow you whole if he wanted to, his bottom lip between his teeth as he leans in a bit more. This moment was something straight out of one of your darkest fantasies. You never thought this would ever happen, that either of you would ever actually make a move on the other.

The sound of the front door unlocking catches both of your attention. Hyunjae pulls away from you faster than your brain can comprehend what exactly just occurred. Jacob is the first to walk in, laughing at something Eric said. The three males pause when they see you’re not alone.

The greetings are quick, Hyunjae dapping up the boys as if nothing. He’s also quick to say goodbye, ensuring them that he’ll make sure you’re safe when they’re not around. He gives you that smile of his, the one where his eyes form crescents, and then he’s gone.

You don’t know how much more of this you could take.

“So, Y/N…” Eric starts in the middle of dinner, side eyeing you as he shovels rice into his mouth. “You and Hyunjae have been together an awful lot lately.”

Kevin snorts, kicking the blonde under the table. You suppose it was going to come up eventually. This ‘Will They, Won’t They’ back and forth shit was starting to tire you out. You weren’t getting any younger. Time was passing you up the longer you waited to just say something. And with all that’s been going on, it was silly to be afraid of admitting your feelings.

“He’s being a good friend, Eric,” Jacob sighs, reaching across to flick him on the forehead. “It’s actually really nice that he watches over Y/N when we’re gone.”

Eric grimaces, rubbing the spot that Jacob assaulted. You frown a bit when you realize that he had a point. Hyunjae was treating you like a child that had to be tended to, babysitting you like you weren’t capable of holding your own. Granted, both times he’s come over, you asked him to. So you couldn’t really blame him for assuming you wanted him around to protect you.

“Do y’all think Hyunjae actually likes me? In a non-platonic way?”

Kevin’s spoon clatters onto the floor and they all pause their banter to look at you. Every time your feelings for Hyunjae were brought up, you chose to ignore them and switch the subject. You can’t keep running away.

“Uh— yeah. Duh. Of course he does. I don’t know anyone else who would go out of their way to stay with someone they saw as just a friend multiple times a week so she felt safe.” Kevin finally answers after a moment.

“Okay.” You settle on, taking a sip of your water.

“What do you mean ‘okay’?” He raises an eyebrow at you, but you just shrug.

“That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

As you’re washing the dishes after dinner, you hear the news broadcast over the faucet. Another victim had just been found behind the campus library. The camera shows the scene behind the reporter, something that would’ve made you queasy a couple days ago, but now you feel nothing— just a dull ache in your chest. It’s messy, almost like the killer was in a hurry to get it over with.

The body is covered with a black tarp, paramedics wheeling it away in the corner of the screen. The reporter still wears that dissociated expression on her face as she goes over the details of this victim. She explains that because the murder was done so haphazardly, they were able to identify the body easily.

Twenty three year old Kim Mingyu, Sports Med Major.

The rest of the news report sounds like static in your ears as you scrub away at the dishes mindlessly. Your fingers have pruned and the water was burning the backs of your hands, but you don’t feel it, too checked out to care. It seemed like the killings were getting closer and closer to you. Part of you thought you’d be next every single time.

You had to tell Hyunjae how you felt. It was now or never.

Fifteen minutes later, he’s waiting outside of your apartment complex, leaning against his car. You take careful steps down the stairs, nearly fainting at the sight of him in a hoodie and grey sweatpants. He runs around the car to open the passenger door for you, only shutting it when you’re all buckled up. It’s not long after that he revs the engine and drives off to nowhere in particular, just like you requested. (Curfew ignored.)

It’s silent at first, save for the low hum of his music, R&B that resonates somewhere within your soul. You can’t help but steal a glance from your peripheral, fisting your sweatshirt when you see how concentrated he looks while driving. He has his right hand resting on the gear shift, the other gripping the wheel. You could’ve had this view all to yourself so long ago had you just spoken up.

“Hyunjae,” your voice is wobbly, but you steel yourself to continue. “I have something to tell you.”

“What is it?” He asks, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Do you think— uh— do you think you could pull over?” If you were going to confess, you wanted him to look at you. Besides, the drive was starting to make you jittery.

He nods and goes a bit further, before pulling into an empty lot. He shifts into park, unbuckling his seatbelt so he could turn his body towards you, giving you his undivided attention. You mirror him, tightening your hold on your sweater when he wets his lips, smiling at you. “Is this what you called me for?”

“Yeah, actually,” you force yourself to keep eye contact, pushing the lump back down your throat. “I’ve wanted to tell you this for years now, if I’m being honest with both of us.”

He chuckles, much like he did the other night over the phone. It drives you just a little crazy. “I’m listening.”

“I— I don’t know how to word this properly…” You wipe your palms on your legs. Come on, Y/N, spit it out already. “Fuck, okay, I like you Hyunjae. Like, really like you. In the way that I sometimes wish you would kiss me until I can’t breathe. I’ve been so afraid of admitting that to myself, but I’ve realized that life is way too short to dwell over the fear of rejection. But please, tell me you feel the same.”

He stares at you with an indecipherable look in his eyes. You feel like throwing up now, you stomach twisting and churning at the thought that you just ruined everything between you. There was no going back after this. He knew.

It’s as if months have passed by in utter silence with Hyunjae just sitting there, no words coming out of his mouth, until finally, he just leans across the center console, cupping your cheek with one of his hands. His vision is trained on your lips, his face close enough that his lashes flutter against your skin. God, he was even more gorgeous from this distance.

Instead of saying anything, he presses his lips to yours, a sweet but desperate kiss that melts away all the worries tucked into your head. They feel so soft on your own, molding together in near perfect timing. It’s like you’d been living for a year without rain and this kiss was the shower that saved you from a drought. It’s all you’ve ever wanted and needed and more.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been wanting to do that,” he breathes when he pulls away slightly. “The real thing is so much better than I imagined it would be.”

For once, time slows down in this moment, almost like the world stopped spinning on its axis. Everything slips from your mind and it’s just you and Hyunjae, here in his car in the middle of an empty parking lot. Nothing else matters. You smile at his confession, a genuine smile that was spurred on by contentment rather than force. You felt light and airy, no longer weighed down by such a trivial problem.

“I think I have an idea,” you giggle, reaching up to brush a stray hair from his face. “I’m not too sure, though, I could be wrong. Could you do that again to help jog my memory?”

Hyunjae laughs, (it’s the most melodic sound you’ve ever heard) but doesn’t hesitate to kiss you. You reciprocate his passion, tangling your fingers in his dark hair. He sighs into the kiss, pulling you on top of him. Your legs straddle his lap as best as they can and he reaches down to recline his seat, scooting it as far as it can go from the wheel. The thin material of your fleece shorts hardly hide the feeling of him under you, a low moan pushing into his mouth.

He nips at your bottom lip, tugging at it with his teeth gently before peppering kisses along your jaw and neck, sucking along the exposed skin from your sweatshirt. You whine, throwing your head back as his tongue soothes over the bruising area. His hands slide under your top, rubbing up and down your sides before moving them down to your thighs, repeating the action.

“You’re so gorgeous on top of me like this, Y/N.” Hyunjae says, just above a whisper like someone else might hear this intimate conversation. He grips your hips and bucks upwards to grind into your clothed core. Your eyes widen and you involuntarily moan at the sensation. This wasn’t what you were expecting when you planned to confess, but you didn’t hate the outcome. He grins at your response, reconnecting your mouths sloppily.

If you were given the choice, you were wholeheartedly satisfied with just this. You would’ve been plenty okay with just making out. Had you been asked years ago that you’d even get this far, you would’ve snorted in your own face, so why should you be greedy and want more than what you had? (That’s not to say that you didn’t.)

“H-Hyunjae,” you stutter, your brain foggy from all of the kissing you just did. “Do you…?”

You trail off, not sure how to word your question. You didn’t want to come off like a sex crazed maniac, but you didn’t want to come off like an amateur virgin either. Truth of the matter is, you were neither, but it had been a while since you indulged yourself in something of this sort. And this time it would be with Hyunjae, the one person you never thought you’d do this with. You were nervous.

All you wanted was to be entwined with him in more ways than one. You wanted all of him— the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful, the sick, the healthy. He could do no wrong on your eyes and you wanted to show him that.

“Do I…?” Hyunjae trails off, waiting for you to continue.

“Do you want to make love… with me?” This had to be the single most mortifying moment of your life. You cover your face in humiliation, shying away from him when he sits up on his elbows.

“What kind of question is that?” He asks with a chuckle, prying your hands from your face so he could look you in the eyes. “If I could make love to you every hour of the day, for seven days a week, I would. I want you all the time, Y/N. Earlier today, before we got interrupted, I wanted to do unimaginable things to you.”

You hide yourself in the crook of his neck, your skin flushing hotter. Weren't you wearing too many layers? The car was starting to feel stuffy. Hyunjae’s chest rumbles with laughter beneath you, pressing his lips to the shell of your ear. This is probably the gentlest he’d be with you all night, because from what you could infer, he was a manhandler.

“Take care of me,” you breathe, mouth brushing against his pulse point. “Please.”

Hyunjae stops holding himself back. He’d do whatever you asked of him, only hoping you’d be tied to him in every lifetime, just like this one. He kisses you again with an unrivaled fervor, slipping his hands inside your sweatshirt and touching you everywhere physically possible. They’re warm on your skin, palming your breasts over the flimsy fabric of your bralette.

He helps you get rid of your top and shorts, leaving you in just undergarments. The sight of you barely clothed sends him into a frenzy, especially knowing it’s for his eyes only. You aid Hyunjae in pulling off his hoodie and yanking his sweatpants down his long legs. The minute most of your restrictions are gone, Hyunjae brings you closer to him. He hisses at the contact, the warmth of your cunt through your panties putting him under a spell.

You whimper when his touch travels down your front, sneaking into the waistband of your underwear. The pads of his middle and ring fingers apply the lightest amount of pressure onto your clit the second he finds it, circling the sensitive bundle of nerves. Your nails on one hand dig into his shoulder while the other trails down his abdomen, rubbing up and down his length through his boxer briefs.

Hyunjae groans into your kiss and you gasp for air as you tear from him, resting your forehead on his to watch as you get each other off through your clothes. If earlier was something taken from one of your wet dreams, what did this constitute as? You clench around nothing when he pushes up into you, your wrists clashing. Knowing he was just as down bad for you as you were for him just made this all that much more real.

“I need to feel you around me,” he mumbles in your ear, dipping his fingers in and out of you languidly as if to explain what he meant. “Let me stretch you out.”

You nod in response, fumbling with his briefs. Hyunjae lifts his hips enough for you to help him out of them. You groan when he reveals his impressive size, wondering how exactly he expected you to take him. He pushes your panties to the side, mimicking the sound you just made when he sees your bare pussy drooling for him. You eventually get frustrated and line him up with your hole, sinking down in one fluid motion. A voluminous moan escapes from the back of your throat, his dick throbbing achingly inside of you. At first you stay still like that, your pelvises touching as you adjust to his length and girth.

“H-holy shit— you’re s-so deep, Jae,” you cry, resting your forehead against his yet again. He pecks your lips, holding onto your hips to help you bounce on his cock, practically impaling you every single time.

“Fuck, you’re taking me so well. Such a good fucking girl,” Hyunjae grunts, the warmth of your walls drawing him in even further. “So tight, too.”

Your thighs begin to burn and your movements become slower, which he takes note of instantaneously. He bends his knees and forces your upper half impossibly closer to him, thrusting up into you. This new angle allows him to find that one spongy spot that has you seeing stars, fogging up your brain and even your vision.

You cast a downward glance at the minimal space between where the two of you are connected. Your moans and whines grow louder with the view of every thrust of his hips into yours. Hyunjae sneaks his hand in the middle of you, his fingers expertly toying with your clit. Any more stimulation and the band in your stomach is snapping.

You’ve had sex before. You’ve slept with a handful of other guys in the past, but nothing could ever compare to this moment. Your cunt had already memorized his size and every vein, effectively ruining the chances of any other man doing this with you. Lee Hyunjae had you in a chokehold whether he realized it or not. He had you wrapped around his finger without really trying, but you could never complain.

Your walls squeeze his cock and he knows he won’t last much longer, shutting his eyes tightly. “C’mon baby, you gonna cum for me?”

“Mhm,” you whimper, your skin flush on his own. “Wanna cum so bad for you, Hyunjae.”

“Yeah? Me too, sweetheart,” he pants, the thumb on your hip pressing against the bone. “Where do you want me?”

“Inside,” you babble. “Please, please. I want you to cum inside me, Hyunjae.”

He kisses you softly just then, swallowing your pretty moans with something completely opposite of what he’s already given you, and that’s what sends you spiraling, fluttering around him. He groans, spilling into you and letting you milk him dry of everything he has to offer, painting your insides just like you asked him to.

You lay like that for a while, Hyunjae’s dick still buried in you to the hilt. Both of you attempt to catch your breaths and bring yourselves down from the well-anticipated euphoric state you just visited. You giggle at the condensation coating the windows of his car, extending your arm to draw a heart and a smiley face with your finger. He slowly pulls himself out, hissing at the sensitivity, but doesn’t make a move to get you off of his chest.

Where do you go from here? A line had just been crossed and you weren’t entirely sure you knew what he wanted from you. It’s one thing to imagine kissing and fucking someone extensively. But it was another to actually want a tangible, romantic relationship from them, to actually capacitate feelings for them.

“I love you,”

You jolt up and stare at him with widened eyes. Did those words really just come out of his mouth? As if he can read your mind, he nods. There’s a dragged out sigh, followed by him sitting up slightly with you perched on his lap.

“I really do, Y/N. I’ve felt this way for years and I’m willing to do anything for you.” He admits, tucking some of your hair behind your ear. You kiss him gently, the pad of your thumb swiping across his cheekbone.

“I love you, too.”

The Saturday after your night in Hyunjae’s car brought everything into perspective for you.

You hadn’t spoken to him since he dropped you off at your apartment and it was beginning to worry you. Even though you made sure he reciprocated your emotions, there still could’ve been a misunderstanding. Had you been too forward? Did you scare him away? Did something happen to him? Whatever the explanation was, you didn’t like the eerie feeling it started brewing in your stomach— it was foreboding.

In spite of not talking to them at all in what seemed to be a month or so, you tried calling each of your mutual friends to see if you could get some answers. Not even his roommates picked up their phones and this made you much more uneasy. You pace back and forth in your living room, nicking at your bottom lip with your nails. Why did he choose now of all times to ghost you? What went wrong?

Kevin comes out of his bedroom a couple minutes later, expecting to grab his morning coffee as usual. When he finds you nearly on the brink of insanity instead, he decides to intervene. He supposed his caffeine could wait until his best friend was calmed down. You jump in surprise, holding a fist to your chest. He raises his hands in mock surrender.

“Didn’t mean to startle you, my bad. What’s up? Why do you look like you’re going through a quarter life crisis?” Kevin asks you, pushing his glasses up his nose. “Is everything okay?”

“I—“ you pause and take a deep breath. “I don’t know…”

His eyebrows furrow and he guides you to the sofa so you could sit down. “What do you mean ‘you don’t know’?”

“Hyunjae hasn’t talked to me since Thursday night, after he brought me back here,” your voice is hoarser than you’d like it to be. “I-I texted and called him a bunch but he hasn’t replied. I even— I even tried Juyo, Sunwoo, and Changmin. No luck with them either. I’m concerned, Kev.”

Kevin combs through his hair, pursing his lips in thought. “Yeah, okay, I would be too. It's a little weird that none of them are responding. Have you thought of just showing up at his place to check in on him?”

You shake your head. “No, I didn’t want him to think I’m clingy and annoying in case he was there. What if he just wants to get me off of his back and he’s telling them to ignore me?”

“I don’t think that’s the case at all, Y/N,” your friend sighs, putting his glasses on top of his head and running a hand down his face. “Hyunjae has never been that kind of person in all the years we’ve known him. I highly doubt he’d switch up now. Plus, he’s literally crazy about you. I’m pretty sure the guy would move heaven and earth for you if he could. I think there’s a very real and genuine possibility that something is seriously wrong. It’s like— it’s just a gut feeling, you know?”

“Yeah, I know.” If Kevin felt this way, too, that would only mean one thing, right? You had to get to the bottom of this. There was a chance that lives depended on it. A quick roll of your neck and you’re standing. “I’m gonna go over there. I can’t leave things unanswered. I can’t wait for a fucking news report.”

The ravenette pats the top of your head. “Be careful, N/N. Please.”

You give him a nod before you’re slipping into your shoes and grabbing his car keys. You’re not exactly dressed for a confrontation if there is one— clad in a pair of sweatpants, an oversized sweatshirt with your university’s crest on it, and socks with sandals— but you were too preoccupied to care.

The drive itself was mentally taxing, your brain dissociating most of the ride. You’re not sure how many of the lights you passed were actually green. The closer you got to Hyunjae’s apartment, the more that trepidation settling in your lower abdomen grew. Throughout your life, you’d never been the type of person who acted on instinct or had a nagging voice in the rear of your head warning you about situations you got into. You usually went with the flow and if you made a mistake, you allowed yourself to learn from it.

However, that was prior to being thrown into a period of uncertainty like this one. Now, all you could do was act on instinct. All you could do was listen to the stupid nagging voice in the rear of your head yelling at you. All you could do was follow the blaring alarms and caution signs in your field of vision. And this time they were almost deafening.

Kevin’s car rolls to a stop outside of Hyunjae’s building, occupying an empty spot three away from the front of the stairs. Your pulse races when you step out of the vehicle and immediately recognize the cars in the spaces beside yours. Hyunjae’s, Juyeon’s, and Changmin’s. You notice a thin layer of dirt caking Juyeon and Changmin’s, as if they’d remained unmoved for a long time. Perturbed wasn’t a big enough word to describe what was going through your mind.

Half of you was terrified to take a step towards the stairs, let alone ascend them to Hyunjae’s floor. What would go down when you reached his apartment? What would happen the moment that door opened?

You ball your hands into fists, the edges of your nails jabbing the skin of your palms. The pain steels you enough to move forward, walking up the stairs slowly. There’s a chill tiptoeing along your spine the whole trip up, like your body knew what you were getting yourself into before you did. Maybe you were stupid. Only an idiot would lead themselves blindly into a scenario without knowing the outcome.

It’s been minutes of you staring at the slightly rusted numbers on Hyunjae’s door before you register that you’re standing in front of it. If you're being honest, you have no idea what you’re doing. You were acting on autopilot— progressing without a thought of what’s coming next. A shuddered breath leaves your lips and you raise your knuckles to the door.

The first knock is too soft to hear if the inhabitants were in their bedrooms, so you apply more force the second time. The sound reverberates through the hall, a wince appearing on your features. If someone was inside, surely they had to have heard that one. You wait a little longer for the door to swing open and reveal one of your friends looking perfectly fine. For Juyeon to showcase that grin of his that reaches his eyes and ask what you were doing here. For Changmin to give you that sweet smile that puffed up his cheeks and ask what you needed. For Sunwoo to blow a raspberry before he laughed at how silly you were for stressing over them. For Hyunjae to reassure you that it was all going to be okay, that he loved you. You were praying for that.

But no one showed up on the other end of that doorway and you were stuck glaring at that same painted board of wood.

That’s what sends your instincts into overdrive. Your hand grabs the knob, twisting it just in case. It makes a full rotation, pushing open the door the tiniest bit. You peek inside carefully and find all the lights in the living room and kitchen off. Your teeth bite down on your lip as you enter the apartment. One of the things you hated about it, was the annoying buzz of the fluorescent lights in their bathroom. And for some reason, that was all that infiltrated your ears.

The door for said bathroom was cracked just a tad at the end of the hallway, but what caught your attention was the room closest to you— also cracked the most miniscule amount. You see light filtering through, an almost orange glow like that of a desk lamp. Your stupidity would be your downfall, you conclude, your feet gravitating to the room. It’s Hyunjae’s you recall when you’re outside of it. They always say curiosity killed the cat, and you couldn’t help but revert to a feline and nudge it open with your foot.

You really wished that saying was just that— a saying.

Eric sits ahead of you, tied to a chair in the middle of the room. There’s a piece of fabric gagging his mouth and his clothes are tattered, blood staining nearly every inch. A long gash runs along his left bicep and a myriad of smaller cuts litter his face and arms. What your focus lands on first are the several deep stab wounds on his thighs.

A hand comes up to cup your mouth to keep yourself from screaming at the sight of your best friend in this position. He struggles against his restraints, muffled cries for your assistance shattering your heart into a thousand pieces like broken shards of glass. Tear streaks mixed with dried blood cover the apples of his cheeks.

“Oh my god, Eric,” your voice wobbles as you scramble to free him. “Oh my god…”

You pull down the fabric in his mouth first and he gasps for air. His eyes widen at something behind you and he warns, “Y/N—!” before he’s interrupted by your yelp. The person pressed into your back has their arm around your neck with a hold tight enough that you can’t escape, but loose enough that you can breathe, the blunt edge of a knife grazing the column of your throat.

“Tsk tsk, Youngjae. You should know that making so much noise when your killer’s not in the room just alerts them of suspicious activity. That’s survival 101, my friend. Isn’t that right, sweet sweet Y/N?”

No.

No. No. No. No. No.

This wasn’t happening.

This couldn’t be happening.

“Please, let her go, Hyunjae.” Eric begs. Hyunjae hums, nuzzling his nose in your hair. He rolls his eyes and scoffs after inhaling your scent, resting his chin on your shoulder.

“God, you’re a mouthy one. Not even Juyeon and Sunwoo were this chatty when I slit their throats— then again, it's not like they could talk much anyway.” He snorts.

You felt sick. You were lightheaded now, just at the thought of your friends gone. “W-why are you doing this?”

Hyunjae grumbles, pouting his lips. “Time for me to unravel my evil villain monologue, huh?” He slips a hand under your sweatshirt and pinches the side of your waist. “Well here it is; what you’re dying to know. The first incident was by complete accident, we were simply having a discussion about why he shouldn’t have been staring at your ass while his girlfriend was next to him at Jeong Jaehyun’s end of summer bonfire. The dude got pissed off that I called him out and tried to start a fight, but I shoved him so hard, he fell and hit his head on a rock. I just couldn’t find it in myself to feel bad about it so I left him there like nothing. From then on, anyone who came between us or remotely hurt you in any way wound up on the receiving end of this knife. Funny isn’t it? How you’re the one beneath it this time?”

It all began to fall into place once he laid the cards out on the table for you to read. The guy you ran into Tuesday after class. Poor Kim Mingyu, who just wanted to pass his English final. Your friends not picking up their phones. And supposedly it was all in the name of love.

“Y-you did that for me?”

“Of course, baby,” Hyunjae mutters into the shell of your ear. “I said I’d protect you didn’t I? I just want you all to myself.”

“What the fuck does that possessive bullshit have to do with me? What did it have to do with Juyo or Changmin or Sunwoo?” Eric cries. “Oh god, what about—?”

“Sangyeon, Hoon, Chanhee, Hak? Yeah, those four were taken care of way before my own roommates. You, obviously, were the chosen one this go around. Then it would be Kevin and lastly, Jacob. I planned on stopping after you three unless absolutely necessary.”

“How is any of this fucking necessary? You’re psychotic,” the blonde exclaims, still wriggling in his restraints. “Why would Y/N want you after all of this? Did you really believe she’d never find out about what you’ve done?”

Hyunjae glides the smooth edge of the blade against your skin and releases you from his grip, but takes a hold of your wrist, placing the handle in your grasp. He urges you forward, closer to Eric. “If she was scared of me, don’t you think she would’ve tried harder to escape me? Didn’t even blink when I held the knife to her neck.”

The brunette kisses your temple and you watch the fear in Eric’s eyes morph into defeat. “After everything we’ve been through? I’ve known you since eighth grade, Y/N. Eighth fucking grade. And this is how it ends?”

“H-he loves me,” you stutter, glancing at Hyunjae. “Don’t you?”

“You don’t kill your best friends out of love, Y/N! He’s insane! Please, don’t let him get into your head. You’re not that kind of person.” Eric attempts to reason.

Maybe you weren’t. Maybe you were. Who knows? That didn’t matter. What mattered was the fact that Hyunjae loved you. He loved you so much that he’d kill for you. Over and over and over again.

It was kind of comical that you loved him all the same. You, too, would kill for him. Over and over and over again.

© juyeonszn. do not steal, claim, or repost.

#the boyz #the boyz x reader #the boyz smut #the boyz hyunjae #tbz #tbz x reader #tbz smut #tbz hyunjae #lee hyunjae #lee hyunjae x reader #lee hyunjae smut #hyunjae #hyunjae x reader #hyunjae smut #juyeonszn

[whorrorbellee]

STEVE HARRINGTON MUST DIE:TWO

Its been a year since someone spread a rumour to you school that you've sucked off half the football team in one night. one year of catcalls, one year of graffitied lockers and bullying, so when you find out his majesty king Steve is behind the rumour its time to take drastic action against him. King!Steve x reader

A/N; reread my own fan fiction, thought it was okay ig then released I had to release the second chapter because I wanted to know what was going on, im gonna add warnings later but im pretty sure there is going to be some sweet sweet smut in this so if your under 18 pls leave or ill sleep with your dad, maybe I already have who knows? master list chapter one

ill edit this later btw

Chapter two 

The soft chime of the bell rings throughout the store, you gaze up upon the entree, Harrington's body moves through the store before stopping at the counter.

“I called you last night, you didn't pick up, wanted to see if you got home safe” Steve leans over the counter of Beans&Books the local coffee shop bookstore you practically live in when you're not working.

“How do you know where I work ?” you interrogate, staring at his brown eyes.

“I read a lot, pride and persuas-”,

”prejudice”

”yeah that, you know the classics” he scratches at his nose, other hand running over the smooth wooden counter, then he fiddles with the pens in the white mug and the plastic  clashes together. His lips pouts, big brown eyes staring down at you. 

“Oh i wasn't aware that you could” you shake your head at him, you return the stare. 

“Could what?’he smiles.

“Read” you say bluntly.

There's a pause, Steve swallows and then glances at the floor, his gaze returns and his face brightens “You're so funny” his eyes lingering down upon your lips as he folds his arms into himself as he chuckles “that was good”

You glance away from him awkwardly “Can I help you with anything?” you ask, leaning back into the wall, running your hands over your jeans. You take the pile of new stock into your hands. Coming out from behind the till and meandering over to the shelves  slowly, careful to not drop anything. 

“Yeah i wanna find a new book” 

“Okay” you look at him, he's wearing a green collared henley shirt  and dark blue harrington jacket, “What-uh books are you into?” you look back at the shelf in front of you, running your finger over the author's name until you find the correct place. 

The coffee shop bustles with life, the milk frother screeching, beans grinding as customers talk, it's hard to hear him over all the noise so you stare back at him. 

‘I liked Romeo and Juliet, ' he nods. "Yeah, I liked Romeo and Juliet,” he says almost as if he was confirming it himself. 

‘So Shakespeare?um Macbeth? Midsummer's night dream, Taming of the shrew?”

“What's taming the shrew?”  he asks. 

“oh , like the movie, Kiss me, Kate?” 

“I don't know it” 

“Okay , so like Bianca can't marry until her sister does, and this guy really likes her so they get this guy to pretend to be a tutor and make him court her so he can marry Bianca, its like fake dating but the other one doesn't know it ”

Your turn to put another book on the shelf wondering if you've been a bit on the nose, Steve is none the wiser. 

“Yeah, I'll take that.” His arms stretch out behind him, shirt following exposing his midriff and you can help but fixate on him for a second too long, you almost forget how he towers over you as you look up at his now smirking face, eyes half closed as he looks down upon your face.

Cheeks heated at his gaze “Okay cool” You head to the sections of plays, eyes catching onto the novel you were looking for before ringing him up at the front desk.

“That's five dollars, would you like a receipt?”

‘No. But hey, do u wanna go for a coffee sometime and like talk about shakespeare” he points at you 

“I um, you know what, yeah sure” you shrug your shoulders.

“Really?”

“Yeah” you respond nodding.

“Cool, cool! I'll call you yeah?” he slaps the counter with his palm tucking the book into his coat before walking out the door, he flashes you a smile and leaves. You hear his car leave and smile to yourself for a minute.

You look over at the coffee counter Aaron (your coworker) smiles at you, he's just rinsed out the portafilter. You hear the beans grinding, and he's smoothing his hands over his apron before approaching you. 

“Was that his majesty?” Aaron asks.

“Yeah” 

“Is he okay? I didn't know he could read” he reclines, his bleached afro a contrast against the brown painted wall behind him.

“That's what i said, he just laughed, like he was on the david letterman show” you look at Aaron, his face is shrivelled up in confusion and you grin.

‘He bought Shakespeare, and then asked to hangout, and you weren't at the party last night right? But he stole my-” you speak in a hushed whisper in front of the customers, “ he stole my joint like out my hand after staring at me” 

“Huh, i think he wants to, you know” he cocks his head, eyes widening and you laugh. 

“Yeahhh”

“No really” he looks over to the counter, “shit i gotta get back to work” he jogs back to his counter smiling brightly at the old lady who is holding a dog and a sandwich the size of it. you look at the pile of boxes you should probably sort out, you sigh and stare at the door.

The telephone rings and you pick up the bubblegum pink receiver, plastic cold in your hand.“Hello?” your finger hooks around the coiled wire and pulls it away from you, twirling it around.you rests against the wall bathed in a cotton candy blue hue. 

“Hey, it's Steve"

You hear his soft breath against the telephone“Oh hi, how's the book going?”

“Yeah great, wanna come to a party on friday?” he asks quickly.

‘Yeah sure, want me to tell Eddie to bring gear?” 

“No i just wanna see you” you can almost hear him smile. You plop yourself down on your bed, hair falling against the plush floral comforter.

“Oh really?you know i dont deal right?” you query, eyes wandering your room to fixate on something other than the ceiling, eyes catching onto the billy idol poster on your wardrobe door, a mean stare and his bleach blonde hair looks back at you.

“Yeah of course , can't stop thinking about how pretty you are,” he whispers into the phone. 

You sit up quickly smiling, there's a pause and you hear soft “shit” before he coughs.

“What was that?” you interrogate.

“How funny you are, anyway I'll pick you up at 7 friday! bring a swimsuit, sounds good? great see ya”

The phone line drops dead before you can reply and suddenly you panicking about what to wear, how to do your hair and who the fucks gonna be there, you dont even like the guy.

You're in and out of classes, studying in the library suddenly Steve is everywhere, Tommy H and Carol snickering behind your back after he waves or smiles at you. You smile at his insolence playing into his idea of you, a mean stare one day and the next a shy look away. 

Suddenly It's Friday and you're in the back of chem class staring straight into the back of Steve's head when Eddie throws a piece of paper straight at your eye, you glare at him and his face falls, he leans across his desk to whisper to you. 

“Heard your going to the famous Hagen party”

“Huh?” your pencil taps against the table. 

“Yeah, Tommy's party, it like a massive bender, everyone hooks up with everyone, i heard Billy is taking Nicole”

“ Billy's going?”you panic.” i don't want to see that douche”

“Dude, your going with the king”

You wince against his words. “Shit yeah, two douches”

“Im gonna die, they're gonna try to have sex with me and then im gonna die”

“Whou would you bang then, out of all three like realistically?" Eddie grins, you glance back at him and then around the room. Steve leans back in his chair playing with his pencil on the table, Tommy's asking his friend the next desk over if the glue stick hes got in his hand can get him high, then you shuffle and look behind you, billy smiles and winks at you, nice enough until he stares directly at carols tits. 

You give Eddie a knowing stare and he answers for you “ it's me isn't it ? we should just go home and fuck.” 

You laugh at him “i know im whore eddie but christ, your my loser best friend and your in love with Kirsty from the bar” 

“Steve then?” 

“I hope he dies, but i've heard his dick game is good” you shrug.

continue on

taglist (please turn on tags if your listed but wasn't tagged )

@paleidiot @justrandomcanadiantransdude @joonies-word @officerrrfriendly @ravenhellfire86 @littlebookworm86 @tr4sh-mouth @genesis-p4l-love @brother-lauren @keerysfolklore @person-005 @soapiaa @roundoudou @billieeilishshousewife @cherrymedicine13 @m3tallica69 @poppet05 @supraveng

#steve harrington x reader #stranger things x reader #st5 #steve harrington #stranger things #king steve x reader #stranger things but not strange

[hitsuyou-fukaketsu]

I know the ask game is old but if you wanna do it again. Subaru or Mama?

WRAGHGGGH I SPENT SO MUCH TIME ON THIS. Tumblr kept erasing the post randomly instead of saving it for later and i got mad 😡😡😡😡 Doing subaru only!!! The important things you should know about my opinion on mama is that i love him dearly and blooming world is the song of all time but he makes me sob when he says his villainious things but he also can be so sweet and caring but he also is a bit... like yknow

So!

Subaru!!!!!!!

Fav thing about them:

Uncertainity. Who is Subaru? Does he understands what he says he doesn't understand? Is he pretending? How much of his happiness is real right now? He's a genius but how far his talents go? He is quite a mystery! Sometimes he says some unsettling things! I love an unsettling genki boy!!!

Least fav thing about them:

Humu, he can be unapolegetic at times, its a trait i certainly dislike, but he's so cute! I forgive him <3

Fav line:

I i know its fairly recent but . Listen god

The voice over was everything to meeeeeee like i interpreted this in the "subaru is angry at hokke for taking him lightly" BUT ITS. ITS THE OTHER WAY. HE IS SAD. HE IS HURT . GOD THIS IS EVERYTHING

Brotp:

Shinonon! I love it when shinonon gets to be the lil bro <333 cute

Otp:

Subahokke!!! But i also REALLY ENJOY subanatsu and subakoga 📈📈 also taking a liking to his ship with chiaki recently 🔥 i also find his interactions with midori rly funny!!

Yeah so to sum it up every tsunderesque boy

Notp:

Hummm with shinonon and eichi 🤔, i am not a fan of the idol x fan trope, its a trope i reallyyyyy dislike, and idk i just dont get eisuba ig??

Random headcanon:

He would heheheh in the middle of a kiss

Unpopular opinion:

Even though i dont want people to speak ill of him i think if he gets popular most enstarries wouldnt handle him well and become some ooc guy that people only know through fandom memes AND I THINK THATS WORSE!!! Im like so good rn me and the other 5 subaru stans

Song i associate with them:

I think i talked about how super trouper is sooo baru like so take another one!

I cant believe i just leaked subaru's second solo song!!!! 🤯🤯🤯🤯

Fav picture of them:

HonESTLYYYYYYYYYYY im sorry im such a graduation sucker but like (shakes you) cmon

I still remember the live so well i cried so hard i lost it 😭😭😭 i remember tomoaki maeno presenting it like "akehoshi.... iikaoshitena!!!" WRAGGGHGGGG i love how he said goodbye to ymnsk with a smile

I love how through hokke's pov they seem to hold hands but through subaru's pov they seem high fiving! POWERFUL SET OF CARDS REALLY

what a card i love it sm

Also onibi baru, nothing to add, this card slays, the unbloomed is a banger the story is amazing we love onibi baru

THATS ITTTTTTTTTTTTT THANKS FOR THE QUESTION CLOCKAS 🔥🔥🔥🔥💞💞💞💞💞

#ask game

[amyyythestarry]

Random Tsumitsu aus!

Childhood friends to lovers au, they met when they were 4 in a park during summer, then when school started they figured out they go to the same school and hung out 24/7. They confess to each other at the same time on Valentines Day at 13 years old.

Hospital au, Tsukasa has an unknown illness and Mitsuba has a heart disease. Tsukasa is destined to die before Mitsuba but Mitsuba doesn’t want to see him go. A bunch of angst, plot twist: partner suicide. ( I love hospital romance aus, also Amane is alr dead 😬 )

This is an au I have thought about for a long while and it’s not necessarily only a Tsumitsu but I’m gonna add it. Mental hospital/Asylum au, although there are still all the paranormal themes, Tsukasa’s a supernatural and Mitsuba is an original-born supernatural, not at first but that’s a lot of lore I can’t rn. I’ll prob talk abt this au again.

Haunted house au, Tsukasa and Mitsuba are invited to a school party by Nanamine Sakura, but the host ( Sakura ) isn’t here and the house is definitely haunted. It’s a party containing only the main characters + ocs Ig and maybe not necessarily Tsumitsu only but it’s implied.

Another haunted house au, but Tsukasa is an undercover detective and Mitsuba is the person he’s secretly interrogating abt the house across the street in Mitsuba’s neighborhood that used to be his that obviously has some paranormal activity going on.

College au. Mitsuba’s waiting at the campus coffee shop for his friend Kou, but gets bored and orders a mocha latte but internally questions why the waiter kinda cute ( ‘Not as cute as me but good enough’ - Mitsu ), he has to get the waiter’s name ( He does ).

High school drama au. There’s a mini school play and Tsu and Mitsu being apart of it ( Bc they’re theater kids/apart of the theater club ), and they very coincidentally get the role of a background gay couple.

Band/band club au. Idk what to say with this one, imagine it tho.

Idol au. Mitsu’s the assistant of singers Aoi and Nene, is heading to Aoi and Nene’s place in the con but stumbled upon another hall of a very popular singer named Tsukasa who has the most beautiful singing voice and amazing outfit and is just extremely cool. Mitsuba wants to be friends with him so bad but he doesn’t think it’s his place to stand right by a popular idol.

Superhero au. Idk what to say abt this one either. Imagine.

Christmas au, secret Santa. Just imagine… ( I’m running out of ideas but this is a spam )

Fashion designer au. Tsukasa is a fashion designer working for model Mitsuba.

Beauty and Beast/Hanahaki au. Mitsuba ventures into a forest to find his missing brother but stumbles upon a castle instead, a castle with a cursed spirit in it. He later finds out in order to bring the corpse back to life, he has to get the young damaged spirit to love again. To pull the needles and patch the holes in the boy’s heart.

Dead plate au? Mitsuba’s Vincent and Tsukasa’s Rody ( I chose Mitsuba as Vince since both of them are cannibals ).

Twister, or truth of dare, or friends locking them in the closet, or nerd and popular au? ( Just put a whole bunch of cliches together )

That’s it. I rushed this bc I had to think of something.

Tsumitsu Tuesday! :))

#anime #tbhk #jshk #jshk tsukasa #tbhk tsukasa #tbhk mitsuba #jshk mitsuba #tsumitsu #jshk tsumitsu #tbhk tsumitsu #yugi tsukasa #tsukasa yugi #mitsuba sousuke #sousuke mitsuba #jshk heart breakers #tbhk heart breakers #magenta duo #jshk magenta duo #tbhk magenta duo #tsumitsu tuesday #tsumitsu aus #au ideas #random thoughts #rant #au spam #au dump #brain dump

[tinseltine]

I wasn’t sure I was going to be covering Sundance 2023 – 1) because I forgot to ask for press credentials until late.  2) My mother has taken ill and I’ve been tag teaming with my sister on being her caretaker, which is kinda consuming my life right now, and yet, I’m glad to have this time with her. That being said, all in all, I still fit in quite a good number of films, although, I wish I’d made time for a few more shorts.

(Post Update: 2/5/23 My Mom passed on to the next realm peacefully yesterday afternoon, February 4th at 85 years old ).

This year Sundance fully returned to in-person, those of us attending virtually still had great access to the films, but not the Q&A’s. And I really missed the New Frontier VR interactions. Last year’s Spaceship Platform was so innovative, interactive and really fun!  I read where Sundance New Frontier is being revamped and will return next year in some format, but I feel it won’t be as the Spaceship, which was built mostly to allow for attendees to interact in a simulated way to being in Park City.

I understand with pirating concerns, the festival must protect the filmmakers films and keep some control over how long and how many people can view each film.  But it would be such a dream to simply have full access to every film for the full run of the festival.  It was better this year that at least you didn’t have to watch the Premieres at a designated time, but still, it’s too restrictive.  We have to choose our films ahead of the festival and lock them in. When the festival starts you’re given a window of 3 days to watch those films.  I didn’t want everything to be within the same windows, so I tried to set some to watch later in the festival, but that didn’t work, I was never able to unlock those.  I always have such trouble with these types of platforms working for me anyway. The other problem being, once the fest starts, certain films start getting heavy social media buzz, at that point you want to switch to those films, for instance, Jonathan Majors in MAGAZINE DREAM. Don’t ask me why it wasn’t already on my list, but it wasn’t and at that point I was just SOL.

Of the films I did choose, I noted a lot with themes of how hard it is to be a parent.  I also feel I saw more sex scenes than in recent years.  I also gravitated to so many more docs this year than I normally would.  I find the bigger payoff with covering film festivals is to keep a steady stream of posts to social media. So I would post my immediate thoughts to IG Stories after a screening, then I’d screenshot that post to Twitter and add an additional impression, thus giving a good highlight of the films; hopefully to whet your appetites to see these features when they arrive in theaters and streaming. Film Scribes shares its epic #Sundance2023 wrap-up show, featuring the top picks from the festival from @danthefan @garymkramer @StephenSilver @FilmBuffRich and @tinseltine Moderated by @heimlich, produced by @danthefantastic https://tinseltine.com/sundance-2023-film-festival-coverage/

#sundance #sundance 2023 #SundanceFilmFestival #Philadelphia Film Critics Circle #Film Scribes Podcast #Film Festivals #Film Festival #Film Festival Coverage #CatPerson #Infinity Pool #Magazine Dreams #Judy Blume Forever #Rye Lane #birth/rebirth #Willie Nelson and Family #park city utah

[anakinskywalkerog]

update on my now nonexistent love life: i told complicated sad machete boy i dont like him. there's a story, albeit a short one, so ill repeat it.

complicated sad machete boy: *adds me on snap after hearing i wanted his snap bcos i needed to talk to him (dont even ask)*

me (on snap): "hey, can we talk?"

complicated sad machete boy: aight

me: actually im with a friend right now, but ill see you at school. its kinda important.

complicated sad machete boy: k

*in phy class, where i sit next to complicated sad machete boy*

me: hey, complicated sad machete boy, can i speak to you for a moment after class? *realizes i sound like a teacher but its too late*

him: ok, sure

*5 minutes later*

him: hey, sythe, can you just tell me now? i have to catch the bus so i have to leave early...

me: oh, me too, dont worry. itll only take a minute.

complicated sad machete boy: alright then

*when class over*

me: complicated sad machete boy. here.

complicated sad machete boy: yh?

me: i know youve heard these really weird rumours that i like you, but i want you to know they're not true. just a result of bad blood with a friend (not completely untrue!).

complicated sad machete boy: oh ok then

[names hidden to preserve anonymity ;) ]

he was very chill about it tho! i thought it would be really awkward and all, or that he'd just be cold and put me off, but he was nice and just chill about it, which i can appreciate! i have his snap now so we're just snapping and lowkey friends (FUCK DID I FORGET TO SAY I HOPE WE CAN BE FRIENDS FUCK NOOOO I REALLY WANTED TO SAY THAT oh well too late for that ig) so it's a good end to a sordid affair!

lololol omg “i have to catch the bus so i have to leave” boy was AFRAID of whatever you were going to say to him lol

but i’m glad you are going to be friends with him and thank you for the update 🙏 i would say, when looking for someone to date, maybe try to find someone who doesn’t actively give you anxiety or make you feel bad? but also what do i know lol. but steering clear of boys who have girlfriends is a good start

i’m sure you will find someone else you want to hit with a machete soon ❤️ also, listen to Bodybag by Chloe Moriondo, it basically describes that feeling (one i know well)

#answered asks

[jalboyhenthusiast]

hey this is gonna be random and maybe kinda lame but i want to say it's cool how you do things at your own pace and don't give into any pressures. i'm talking about fandom and sm and pop culture and stuff like that. i really like that you're not up to date with what's going on in celebrity land, or what bereal is, or you watching fandom content months later etc. i find it really refreshing and kinda want to be like that sooo any tips? ha i know this sounds odd but it's something i struggle with

oh oh this is so sweet and not at all lame 🥹

honestly i think its a combination of things and not necessarily anything i'm doing consciously. for example, i have a pretty demanding and busy day job that i do from the office (i wfh maybe once a week max.. today is one of those days which is why i can answer rn) so i just dont get a chance to keep up with things as they happen. sometimes ill check in quickly during the day and add things to my likes to come back to later which is why you'll see me add them to my queue like months after its happened lol. i also dont use twitter or tiktok or pretty much any other sm other than tumblr and ig (for keeping up with my friends/the celebs i care about) so celeb news just doesnt cross my path unless someone tells me or its idk hugely viral. my sister actually makes fun of me for this 😭 shes always asking me what rock i live under when im out of the loop on drama dfkgjn and also i think its personality dependent. for example i dont really get fomo so it doesnt bother me if im not in the thick of it when things go down 🤷🏻‍♀️

idk if that was even helpful but basically its a combination of keeping busy doing other things and.. out of sight out of mind. so you wont feel the need to constantly be on top of the latest news if you're 1) doing other things and 2) not even seeing them happen. i think its also worth remembering that none of this matters irl.. i know its obvious but sometimes its useful to repeat. your life still goes on and your bills still need paying even if something crazy is happening online lmao. good luck!! <3

#some other things as well #i try to read during my commutes which keeps me off my phone #i also wake early so i sleep early which means i dont really sit on my laptop after i get home from work #its very rare nowadays that i get uninterrupted time just.. online #which is why im constantly mia and then randomly here for 5 hours every 3 weeks lol #thank u for this message though it made me feel old in a good way #ask #anon

[fictionfixations]

current fic wips im working on

sorry ive been quiet as fuck LOL

uhh..

the next part of the scu x dsmp crossover thing im doing (I'm still working on a title, idk man its subject to change and contains possible spoilers)

chapter 4 of this multi-chapter story (except i havent touched it in weeks sOBS im gonna procrastinate so long it becomes discontinued, ITS BEEN MONTHS SINCE IVE UPDATED THe STORY LOL) \/ vent rant. dont read if you arent interested ig :'D? \/

uh.. a vent fic. that is probably cursed and problematic and i apologize is it still problematic if im venting and quite literally projecting on two comfort characters to act out the events in a similar fashion of a thing that caused me trauma? idk man ive never actually fully gotten into detail but im not pulling any stops now (besides the censor of a dead name because one is trans, and i cant handle hearing my dead name in writing, and cant for all hell think of one) 'Closure (That's all I wanted.)' fact to add onto that vent fic- so actually, fun fact, tommys dsmp prison stream where he visited dream to get closure and then kinda.. yknow was what inspired me in the end to try to find closure from my.. 'abuser'? manipulator? i dont know man. person who caused me major trauma that later ended up in me wishing death upon myself and shit? (dont worry, i got over it eventually. im okay now) yeah so anyway that stream made me think, 'huh, maybe i should try to get closure. this should be fine' yeah no it wasnt fine, i shouldve gotten the hint from the thing with tommy lmao?? but so basically its just been kinda bothering me but i never did actually talk about it to someone, so watch me pour out my trauma shit except im too squeamish so it probably has shit pacing but if i pull up the old messages ill get so nervous and panicky i cant write for shit im sorry, its tombur. i needed a minor and someone who said minor would automatically have a trust and depend on that then that person goes into a depressive state and does fucked up probably illegal shit to said minor in that shitty state because-- it wouldnt make sense otherwise when im trying to project the events..? just note that its a bad idea to try to go to a minor for help when you have mental health issues as like a teen or adult because then you pass that onto them and make them feel shittier trying to take care of you and-- im gonna stop now. im sorry, agh. problematic ship, haha. i guess youd call a part of my trauma a problematic ship though because it was minor/minor and-- am i allowed to make like jokes about this? i dont know man, people are like 'you cant make gay jokes unless youre gay!', you think that fits here? probably not. im gonna go disappear now D:

i actually dont know if the vent fic is helping since im kinda having bad days more now but i mean like.. if i never get this out, then i never will, and hey maybe im nervous for nothing and itll be fine and then maybe i can cope this way by venting out all my trauma lol

#wip titles #wip stuff #vent rant

[celianascended]

Sup I'm Celian Im 20, and i never fucking learned how to read

She/Her | They/Them | He/Him

On this blog you'll find;

Memes

Autism

Gay little posts

Art and fanart

Mild nsfw sometimes and sex jokes. Tagged as #nsfw/ish and #nsfw

occasional Second Life posts since i started playing the wretched game again

(Interests)

Ultrakill (a LOT of that)

Birds (and wings!!) Under #birb and #birbs

Portal and Portal 2 under #portal 2

Jak and Daxter

Ratchet and clank

Sly cooper

MLP

Half life

dunmeshi

Other stuff probably

This blog is for silly purposes. I do not post about (bad) current events here. Do not put me in situations

Obvious terfs/zoos/pedos fuck off

Nagito kaomeda kinnie DNI (you know who you are.)

ps: i dont check my inbox very often so sorry if theres a delay before i answer lmao. also sometimes i just dont know what to say so yeag

Heres some of tags i use in case yall want to block some

#nsfw/ish for midly sexual stuff and for explicit (images) its #nsfw *i do not reblog actual porn

#weapons tw for all swords, guns, ect

#bugs for all arthropods, (insects, arachnids, ect)

For interests they're all tagged by names

Theres other cw tags ill uhh edit the post later to add them ig

#my post

[introdemodev]

demo update demo update

or, update about the demo.

about the game

total length of the demo is about an hour, maybe an hour and a half if you read and play through everything. 2 hours if you read as slow as possible. it was supposed to be 4 hours but then I thought....."hey. the player won't be able to transfer their save to the full game". that means diya and darcys mini game won't be in the demo anymore. awwwww. you'll still get to play clyde’s minigames though (he has two in the demo).

ive mentioned this before, but there are two endings for this game but there’s many many many ways to get there. aside from choices, theres three paths you can take: you can take the darcy path, diya path, or the ??? path. the third one is not in the demo but will be in the final game.

(ok breaking my no more sharing screenshot rule but after today there will be no more unless I've shared them before lol)

so....if there is a diya and darcy minigame, does that mean there’s a ??? minigame too? yes, and it’s very cute.

art

the art and animation is done!!! for real this time, it's done. woooo!!!! thats...if you don't count sprites. hehe. :^) there are three sprites i want to edit and be done with for good: wren, diya and darcy. I finalized wren’s design a while ago so their old design is still in the game. as for diya and darcy, i just want to make small lil changes. so nothing to redraw, except for wren’s head.

look at them. that’s not wren. where are their horns?????? why is their hair brown??? no.

there's also some other things I want to do too, like change the layout for clydes pop quiz minigame. but thats only if I have time because 1) it’s extra art to make. 2) it’s not that necessary. I really want this demo out before June, or, preferably, before the end of April, and then have the full game release in fall/winter. if God wills it.

not to spoil anything (im spoiling something) but clyde gives you another pop quiz later in the full game, so it’s something i want to add eventually.

writing

after working on this game for a very long time now, ill say that writing took the most amount of my time, and also learning how to write script. the latter has gotten a lot easier esp because renpy is easy to learn and there’s a ton of guides online for it too. 

im proofreading the script a thousand times + making sure i didnt leave any plot holes. like, i’ll think i corrected all grammar errors then i’ll find something like this ten mins ago.

oh and ig this shouldve went under the game section but im writing this as i go. anyways. i also gotta play the game a million times to make sure everything works and is functional. so far, so good, i havent run into any bugs. but, i also havent played through EVERY possible choice yet.

sound and other stuff

okay. so. my original plan was to have id’s soundtrack composed of music in the public domain or free to use. for the demo, i’m still debating on doing this, or, just having the game be silent aside from ambience and sound effects. for the full game, i do plan on commissioning an original soundtrack when i’m nearing completion.

and uhhhhhhhhhh what else what else....idk, i had more to say here but i dont remember lol. i just been playing around with more renpy tutorials, especially for imagemaps and functions and stuff like that.

aaaaand that’s about it! this is just stuff off the top of my head. if i remember anything else ill bring it up later. i wanted to talk more about the actual story and characters but then i risk spoiling everything. there’s only so much you can say about a visual game ya know.

and again, thanks for being patient!! im really excited to get this game out. :D

#introdemo #update #game update #DEMO #fennel #clyde #diya #my art #game talk

[sevendeadlymorons]

Hey I’m that one anon from a while back that sent those long ass paragraphs about Lilith and Simeon, remember me? Anyway I know I’m very late to the party, but some of the boys are either getting to much hate or too much love over here (in my opinion) so I made a pros and cons list for all of them, I’m sorry- (I’m warning you now this will be long but I’ll put it in bullet points so it’s a bit easier to read, just read it whenever your mentally ready lol)

Lucifer (I hate this man.)

Pros

He’d help a lot with getting your life together wether that be finding a job, choosing the right college or other shit like that

He’d make sure your working hard and getting everything done, which is both a blessing and a curse tbh

He would be the one to take the most care of you whenever your ill psychically

Cons

He would probably overwork you

Doesnt have much time to spend on you and doesn’t make a effort to find more time unless your getting really sad about it

Probably wouldn’t be the best of help through issues with mental illness (he just doesn’t strike me as that type, feel free to disagree)

His pride would cause some serious problems in relationships :/

Mammon (I love this man.)

Pros

He’s the “if your sad, I’m sad” kind of guy so he does whatever he can to put a smile on your face

Makes his affection towards you known once he’s comfortable enough, mostly through things like hugs and head pats tho

He shows off anything you make, and I mean anything (you gave him a drawing? After showing it to everyone he puts it on the fridge. You wrote something? He reads it to everyone then puts it in his notebook to reread later, I think you get where I’m going with this)

Cons

There would probably be some communication issues due to his tsundere nature and habit of ignoring you when he’s mad

He’d get super mad at you when your trying to help him financially, maybe it’s a ego thing or maybe he’s just tired of hearing it

While his possessiveness is cute at times he’d definitely get way to overbearing if you don’t force him to cool it

Levi (I kin this man.)

Pros

He’d try to set up designated hangout times (like Friday is movie night, Tuesday is for RPGs etc)

Wanna spend time with him but aren’t very into what he’s into? While it will be harder to bond with him because of this I think if you REALLY wanted to hang with him he’d at least try to meet you in the middle (like if you like sports he’ll offer to play wii sports lol)

Insecurities getting you down again? Well never fear, levi is here! He’d find characters with flaws similar to those you see in yourself to prove that they don’t really matter (and since he struggles with insecurity himself he’d know how you feel and be one of the best at helping you through them)

Cons

Even if he makes an effort to meet you in the middle if you have different interests he’d refuse to get into “normie” stuff

He’ll guilt trip you constantly, even if it’s not on purpose (“Oh your hanging out with Asmo today? I get it, of course you’d wanna hang out with somebody cool and perfect like Asmo and not a gross yucky otaku like me”)

You have to initiate almost everything Hugs? You hug first. Handholding? You reach out to him. Confessions? You seriously thought he’d be the one to confess first??

Satan

Pros

Similar to Lucifer he’d be good at helping you get your life together and putting you on the right track

Unlike Lucifer, he’d actively make time for date nights and/or hangouts multiple times a week wether your going out for dinner or reading in front of the fireplace

While he himself might not be best at helping with comfort in the moment, he’d be great to turn to if you needed a long time treatment (you need a therapist? He’s got the best three in your area that you can afford and he found some helpful things you can do in this book)

Cons

As stated previously, he’s not the best with comfort, which can be an issue if you need a friend/partner who can be your biggest source of comfort (I’m not saying he’ll do nothing, it’ll just be kinda awkward ig)

If you vent to him about something he’ll always offer advice and while that can be good, sometimes all you want is someone to listen to you and getting advice can be annoying in the moment

I feel like hanging out with him you’d rarely ever get to talk about pointless things, everything would be serious you know? And while serious and deep conversations are good for bonding, some people (myself included) need to be able to talk about dumb things without having it turn philosophical

Asmo

Pros

He’s the best at boosting your confidence, there’s no competition

He’s more into spontaneous outings (he suddenly got the urge to go shopping, your coming with right?)

You can talk about just about anything with him, no judgment and he’ll never speak a word of it to anyone else if you don’t want him to (although he may brag to his brothers that you told him your secrets)

High emotional IQ

Cons

He has set things of things he’s interested in and his idea of trying the things your into is doing whatever it is for about 5 seconds then deciding it’s not for him

He cares a lot about looks, I don’t mean he’ll hate you or insult you cause he thinks your ugly, I mean he’ll constantly try to do your makeup, hair, and nails and he’ll always say things like “Your hair is a bit messy today, did you brush it? Yes? Well not good enough, let me do it” and “your wearing that out? There’s nothing wrong with it, I just think you’d look a lot cuter in this” and if your anything like me, that’ll get on your nerves a lot

While he’s great with emotional issues, if it’s a problem with anything like school or your job he’ll have no solution to offer, all you’ll get is a “You can do it!” and a good luck kiss

Narcissistic, need I say more?

Beel

Pros

He’s the best person to vent to, no judgment and tons of hugs and comfort food

He’s a mom friend, no explanation needed

Very supportive and always concerned for your health

Your in trouble? Call beel, he’ll help you and make sure your home safe before questioning you and will only lecture you out of love (unlike a certain older brother that will lecture you because “Your tarnishing Diavlo’s reputation by acting out like this. Your an exchange student, you must abide by the rules and behave yourself.”)

Cons

Food is his answer to everything (Sad?Food. Injured? Food. School’s stressful? Food plus a little help studying) and while food can be good for comfort, sometimes you need him to provide more than a snack

He’s the opposite of Satan in the sense that he’ll almost never offer advice when you rant to him, he just assumes getting it all out is help enough and won’t offer much more then a hug and food

Not getting along with one of his brothers? “They can be a handful, but they’re great people once you learn to handle the chaos” yeah he rarely thinks what his brothers did is a big deal so he gives you advice on how to apologize and get past it and he’ll give you food

Belphie (he really does attract the mentally ill people huh-)

Cons

I feel like he’d be good for certain people with social anxiety and people who have issues with always being scared about being a bad person (“you think your a bad person and are becoming more and more toxic by the day? Well your a better person than Lucifer that’s for sure, wether or not your toxic were going to cuddle now get in bed” or “your worried everyone is constantly staring and judging you for everything you do? Well I don’t really care about what your wearing or the way you walk so I doubt they do either, can we go home now?” ((Side note, I experience both of these issues and his uncaring personality would calm me, which is why I think this one of his pros))

He just wouldn’t care about whatever type of life style you lead and as someone who’s constantly scared of being judged for their lifestyle this would be amazing (“you sleep all the time? Same let’s nap together” “You don’t eat very healthy? Whatever, it’s fine, can we sleep now?” ((although it is a double edged sword))

He gets a burst of energy and just does the most random things (you see that tree? He’s already climbed half way up it. That petting zoo? He’s already feeding the lambs. That store? He’s already spent 30 grim)

Cons

Just like his twin he thinks every problem has one solution, but instead of food he thinks the solution is sleep (your sick? Sleep is the best medicine. A lot of homework? If you sleep you don’t have to think about it.)

At some point he just doesn’t care enough, if you come to him with a serious issue he’ll half listen to you rant then pull you down to sleep

He teases you a lot, which is fine teasing is fun, but he takes it too far. Maybe he touched on something your insecure about or he was too merciless, whatever it was, he won’t apologize for it, he just thinks your being sensitive. If he brought up some bad memories he’ll consider it, but his way of apologizing is cuddling

He doesn’t wanna do something? You guys aren’t gonna do it. You don’t wanna do something? Too bad, he wants to so your gonna.

I’m sorry this is so long- I tried to shorten it I swear- but anyway if you disagree I’m with anything, I wanna hear what you think

And even tho Beel doesn’t get much screen time and more serious moments, I think his character is way more then hunger

Random but I wanna add that other then Levi I kin Tamaki from mha and Ranpo from bsd

Dude do you just like torturing poor college students? This is so much to read, I’m about to cry 😭

I agree with the Lucifer part actually! Tho I do kinda thing he’s be good emotion support in some ways, for me, anyway. I feel like he may lack empathy that is needed in a stable relationship. Yes, he may be able to tell you with shit and honestly, he’d book my doctors appointments when I’m too anxious too so yknow. But yeah

Also agree with mammon. He’s a jackass when he wants to be, and I know he may not mean it, but his words are still hurtful in a lot of ways and he just can’t convey those emotions that’re needed in a loving relationship. But he’s so sweet and will show you off so it’s all good~

As much as I love Levi, I agree. He manipulates and guilt trips you throughout the entire game. It can’t be healthy in relationships but that don’t stop me from loving that sweet otaku boy 😔🖤

I agree with Satan too. I don’t have much to say but he’s avatar of wrath for a reason, for a start, and he honestly looks like he’d prefer talking about books than that funny thing that happened in class that made you laugh earlier

Agreed with Asmo too. Sometimes he may just get overbearing and the narcissism and the constant need to make you look better and improve you may get irritating

I agree with Beel. I don’t think he can comprehend that food isn’t an answer to everything and as a person who doesn’t cope with food and relatively hates it, he won’t be any help to me emotionally. He’s so sweet but he just won’t give you that proper support

I love Belphie so so much but I absolutely agree. He’s one of the most unbothered brothers who won’t care what you look like, yes, but that also means compliments may come rarely and like his twin, “sleep is the answer to everything” I can admit I like to sleep but I have a manic side that comes with insomnia and if he’s dragging me down and not letting me move and I just cannot sleep, I’m gonna get irritated and pissed off.

This got a bit long on my end too. I just really liked how you worded this and it was fun to see pros and cons of the ‘perfect’ brothers

I think Beel is more than food too, but I just don’t particularly like him either way cuz I’m not really a foodie so I can’t relate with him lmao

[inosukeslefttoe]

SO i just finished wonder egg priority and i think that with confidence i can say it has been one of my favorite animes like... ever ?? and not even from hyperfixation or obsession over it just... its so fucking real yet so simple in a way that i havent rlly seen shown in any other shows you feel ??

but first i wanna talk about how sexy the art and animation is real quick... HOMIE ITS SO GOOD LIKE EVERYTHING ABOUT IT JUST... serotonin... the characters are all so unique and iconic and fun but not over the top in their designs yknow ??? they seem like regular every day girls but they stand out and theyre all sO CUTE !!!! also i love how the style is like this soft bubbly slice of life lookin stuff with bright happy colors and the most beautiful scenes you could find but they also have the SICKEST fight scenes complete with whimsical animal helpers and terrifying villains and crazy weapons unique to each character. and the animation. god DAMN shawty i am obsessed with everything in this show. i might make a post solely about the art later lol bc i wanna get into the other stuff.

so the themes in the show right ?? it starts just as this cute lil magical girl kinda deal but within the first episode we see that like.. oh damn... thats kinda heavy... tbh i was a little shocked and thought about stopping bc yknow bad mental health BUT i was so intrigued that i had to keep going and i am SO GLAD that i did. because this show just so beautifully discusses all these heavy topics in such an eloquent and artistically expressive way. and also like, , the juxtaposition of the charming childlike vibe with bright colors and 14 yr old girl protagonists against the dark themes of suicide and so much else,, i think is just perfect. bc a lot of heavy animes are more of the seinen genre and have some middle aged dude as a protag or make the entire color palette dim or offer little relief to the pain of these heavy themes right ?? but NO not wonder egg bitches B) because these problems arent just things that ppl face later in life or just problems that need to be talked about among adults or the edgy seinen watching squad,, these are REAL problems that face people of every age, gender etc and i think its awesome that wonder egg addresses that. some may cringe at the thought of their high schooler watching animes that discuss sexual harassment, suicide, abuse, self harm, eating disorders etc,, but in reality it is the most comforting thing i have ever come across and is basically jsut free anime therapy. because not only does wonder egg present these themes to the viewers as something real that happens to all kinds of people (making said people feel heard in a way that maybe they hadnt before), but it also makes sure to vanquish all of these forms of trauma. and the way the trauma is vanquished isnt always beautiful and it isnt always just magically gone with a poof. the struggles of overcoming or living with that sort of thing are shown in such a real and relatable way that addresses every hardship trauma survivors have to go through. and i just. god i cry bro. 

oh m y GOD and the lgbtq+ rep in this show ?? like shawty... as soon as i saw episode one i was picking up on some gay/lesbian themes but then again im sapphic and project that a lot so i tend to see that sort of stuff like... everywhere... but NE WAYS... episode ten made me FUKCING CRY BRO LIke i cant believe there was a whole trans character with a whole trans pride hoodie like LKGHKDGH my heart is just so.. so fucking full thinking about him. bc like yeah i know there are trans characters in anime but i feel like theyre always very ambiguous about actually being trans or not or erased or portrayed as a harmful stereotype or theyre constantly misgendered and still refered to as their assigned gender at birth and i hate it. HOWEVEr... Kaoru.. *chefs kiss* it was so amazing to see a character straight up say “yeah im trans” in such a casual yet powerful way bc i personally have never seen that before. and i love love loved how he went into his backstory and talked to momoe about gender bc i think thats what she rlly needed and that it helped her find herself and it makes me so happy oh my god,, and the way they talked about it never seemed forced or like it was the focal point of his existence yknow ?? like yeah he existed to help momoe overcome some of her trauma but he also just existed to be HIM yknow ?? also... personally, i headcanon momoe as a trans girl even though i dont remember it being explicitly stated plus the school scenes of her and stuff would seem like they suggest otherwise ??but,,, SHAWTY THE AMOUNT OF SUBTEXT and her complicated relationship w gender is... something i feel like a cis girl would not go through so harshly yknow ?? with all of the questioning and feeling detached from femininity or feeling like ppl dont see her as an actual girl and only like her as a guy or for her masculine traits,,, but dont take my word on this bc i myself am a cis girl but that was just my take on it as someone in the lgbtq+ community trying to educate myself on the transgender community :) either way,, wonder eggs portrayal of momoe and kaoru and the way that momoe becomes so passionate about expressing herself the way she wants to as a girl is just... good lord im gonna cry its so perfect,,,.so ... i just love this show way too much. i also am honestly super lost about the relationship btwn acca and ura-acca ?? bc i was gonna mention ura-acca as a canonically gay guy bc when i was watching i interpreted ep 11 as him being in love with acca and being jealous of Azusa (bc i mean,, they lived together (i swear to god there was only one bed in that apartment) and had a daughter together and def loved each other and also when Frill said they were husbands and then when ura-acca said he wasnt attracted to azusa but he was def jealous of their relationship ??) but then i saw somewhere that theyre brothers ?? which would make sense ig since they look kinda similar and accas daughter called ura-acca “uncle”.. but at the same time its ANIME SO THEY ALL LOOK SIMILAR and referring to gay couples as siblings is an EXTREMELY common euphemism soooo... IM JUST LOST HERE... but yeah i tried doing research and found different things so i cant say anything for sure >:( however,,, if they are canonically a lil fruity for each other... when frill refered to acca as ura-accas husband i imploded dude you never hear that sort of wording in anime.. but if theyre related i am so sorry. 

god this is so much longer than i planned it to be oops but i also love the theme about like.. relying on friends to help carry your weight but at the same time not becoming completely dependent on those friends and using their support to learn how to love yourself and rely on yourself yknow ?? bc that is exactly what healthy friendships look like. bc i think ai sort of had a codependency thing goin on with koito maybe ?? but now she has a whole squad of funky friends that are so so different but all struggle with different kinds of trauma and although they fight over it, they always get through it with each other together. and they push each other no matter what to be the best versions of themselves and they teach other that getting hurt is okay because theyre always gonna be there to pick up the pieces no matter what happens. they can give each other space when they need and adapt to meet each others needs but theyre always able to balance it out with their own needs and thats such a beautiful thing in friendships especially at their age like damn i wish i had that maturity when i was 14 but no all i had was depression. another thing is that through these friendships you get to see all the different sides of each girl; you get to see them being strong or a shining light to their friends when theyre hurting but you also get to see them being hurt and weak and allowing themselves to be on the receiving end of the comfort. their friendships allows them to have weaknesses but it also allows them to highlight their strengths and thrive off of each others. I LOVE FRIENDSHIP DUDE

next i wanna briefly mention some of the themes connected to suicide that ive noticed. a big one is the survivors guilt that ai feels once koito is dead. several times she screams that she wishes she couldve gone with koito and she dreams of a “perfect world” where they committed a double suicide. one of the main reasons for her troubles is that she blames herself for koitos death and feels like it should be her thats dead... but at the same time she feels like too much of a coward to do anything now that koito is gone. she just has all these complex and contradicting feelings that wear away at her in ways that ppl that havent gone through the suicide of a loved one could never imagine. a lot of the times when things like this are portrayed in media i feel like its more in a way thats meant to guilt trip those that have taken their own lives and paint suicide as this selfish sin thats unforgivable but... not only does wonder egg reject that idea and instead portray it as a heartbreaking tragedy with,,, so so many terrible reasons, but it focuses on the feelings of ai separate from koito without blaming her in any way. not once did i feel like the show antagonized koito or that ai blamed koito for doing any of this, but they simply mourned her loss and touched on ais reaction towards the event but separate from koito herself if that makes sense. and i think that discussing survivors guilt without painting koito as the bad guy is something so beautifully done in wonder egg that can really resonate with those that have lost a loved one to suicide and have struggled with these same things.

okay i think this is the last thing ill mention,,, but HOMIE THE PARALLEL UNIVERSE BIT AT THE END. I AM. OBSESSED. i am such a whore for anything about the multiverse okay n e ways...,, not only did this make a super epic trippy ending of season one and add a little bit more magical girl whimsy to the show,, but it had such a powerful message. from the perspective of og ai,, finding out that you killed yourself in another world is... i mean its definitely not a surprise but at the same time it rlly makes you think how close og ai herself couldve been to that point and what decisions led her out of that dark place in her life. if i were in her shoes i would be terrified and id cry bc the thought of going back to such a dark place and actually going through with something like that is my worst fear and probably something that ai fears too. but at the same time,,, think from the perspective of ai two !!! like yeah its true that theres this awful terrible version of ai that dies but theres also a whole version of ai that is a superhero magical girl fighting off monsters to save countless ppls lives !! and she has a badass lizard and a gang of awesome friends !!! at first i was worried that ai two would be jealous of og ai and compare herself to her and feel inferior but like.. THEYRE LITERALLY THE SAME PERSON AND CAPABLE OF THE SAME THINGS !!! and ai two realized that !! just within the span of one episode, she went from the version of ai who took her life,, to the version of ai jumping in front of a friend to take a bullet for them and save their life. and that just inspired THE SHIT OUT OF ME. i think that ai was sent another version of herself to sort of beat her own worst enemy yknow ?? those doubts and fears that shes no good or that shes that same bystander from episode one and that she hasnt changed at all. but getting to interact with her parallel self and see her grow was just what she needed to realize that while yeah sometimes the worst thing can happen and things can be terrible but on the other hand sometimes the most wonderful thing imaginable can happen because she has the power to do either. 

so im gonna go ahead and stop rambling bc i got all my thoughts out that i wanted to for this post :D but yeah lol i might make another if i feel like it sometime. long story short: this show is perfect and it is going on my favorite of all times.

#wonder egg priority #wonder egg spoilers #ai ohto #rika kawai #momoe sawaki #wonder egg priority neiru #i forgot neirus name #anime review #wonder egg ai #lgbtq anime

[anababy17]

I stupidly ate tostitos chips without realizing they had 19 FUCKING GRAMS OF CARBS IN IT!!!!!! I am seriously so fucking stupid. So far today i ate 653 calories today. Later on im planning to have corn flakes w milk which would bring my total up to 805. I could either be a fat ass and have more chips with my extra 200 calories which i honestly am considering, or i could have another bowl of corn flakes. Like i just need to cut out snacks in total but then i feel like ill binge. Can anyone add some low carb, low calorie snacks? It is hard to find those types of snacks due to the fact that I have food allergies to egg peanut and all fruits. I mean i can eat fruits but i get itchy and it just doesnt seem worth it sometimes but anything to be skinny ig. Anyway please add some low carb low calorie snacks please. Also like why is everyone so much better at the ana lifestyle than me? can anyone gives some good beginner tips im starting to get really discouraged. Thank you guys! Love you <3 

#lowcarb #lowcalorie #wannabeskinny #notskinnyyet #fat #anorexia #skinny is happy #ana #proana #promia #fatass #why do i keep eating #everyone does so much better

[theyreonlynoodlesmike]

Rules and Regulations:

Please do not request the same thing numerous times! It won't make me do it any faster, and duplicates get deleted anyways!

I will try to do as many of the requests I'm given, but there are just some things that I ultimately won't know what to do with. Those requests will either sit for me to marinade on, or they'll get deleted if I don't plan on doing them. I'm sorry if I do end up deleting one of your requests, but I swear this isn't me saying that your request was a bad idea. Usually, I just can't think of anything for it and I don't want to half-ass a request.

I'm an adult. I write adult content. This means that I strongly encourage those who are minors to avoid my nsfw works if not my entire blog. I don't block minors just because I'm not here to police what you guys expose yourselves to, but I am going to ask that you take it upon yourselves to not look at works not meant for you and to be smart with your access to the internet.

I mark my nsfw works with a "***" to let readers know that there is sexual content within that work, and tag all sexual content in the warnings in the beginning of each work. If I have missed a work, please let me know. If you feel I've tagged something incorrectly, please let me know.

I only take requests when I announce that my requests are open, and I only take them through my askbox. If you send them anyways, they will be deleted. I either go by slots or have open requests for certain characters. Please read my banners and the lastest announcement post to find out what/if I'm accepting. Please respect creators when they say their requests are closed

I make all non-smut fics gender neutral unless specified, but, because I'm AFAB and can only go off of that experience, all non-specified smut requests will be assumed to have an afab reader. If you don't want that, say so!

If you request a part 2 for a work, there is a BIG chance I won't do it. If it was meant to be an one shot/I like the ending I originally wrote, I just don't see a point in writing more. However, if it's a work I would consider a part 2 for, I usually say that in the tags!! For those bad boys, feel free to request it (still might not do it tho)

Now, for the things that I will NEVER do/just don't talk about these things with me:

*various trigger warnings

°°° = blocked immediately

Scat/Urine/Vomit°°° play

S*icide/s*lf-harm°°°

P*dophilia/any fic involving romantic relationships with minor characters (yes, that means even aged up requests)°°°

R*pe/graphic descriptions of sexual assault°°°

Inc*st°°°

Dd/lg or age regression (mommy/daddy titles are fine, just no caregiver shit)°°°

Race play°°°

Vore/cannibalism (a vampire eating a human is not the same as cannibalistic!reader I'm sorry)°°°

Hard drug use

Eating disorders/anorexia/bulimia/etc

Some mental illnesses (due to triggering myself while writing)

In fact, anything that would trigger myself (due to privacy reasons, I may not always tell you if it's this case but will simply just delete the request)

Furry stuff (listen- no hate to you guys but I am a monster fucker not a furry so please do not message me about that stuff)

Anything involving bugs

Anything involving the real life actors/not the characters

And some kinks that I'm sure I'll have to add on later cause y'all are- interesting

While some of these may not lead to a block if you spam me with these requests or try to argue with me in any way you will be blocked. But if you talk to me about the things that are noted as an immediate block, well- bye ig

Character List

Updated: 8/26/21

#rules #rules and regulations