#so who knows what they're gonna do with them. guess we'll have to be patient till next week huh?

[andhumanslovedstories]

Hey so your post about pain management as a bedside nurse is so important to my own nursing practice that I've considered printing it out so I can have it to hand all the time. So thanks for that. Also, how do you deal with assignments that are busy enough that pain management is harder than it should be? I'm coming up on two years as a nurse and I feel like I take it personally when I am too busy to adequately manage my patients pain. I'm also coming from a newly unionized hospital where the ratios are still horrendous (I do 1:10 on med surg) and I'm hoping once we can enforce our staffing grids it'll be better but idk I'm burning out and I love my job so much and I really respect your nursing philosophy? I guess. Sorry for the word vomit it's been a crazy shift.

I've been trying to think of how to answer this since I got it. It's just such a horrendous ratio. With ten patients a shift, that's like six minutes an hour for each in a fantasy world where there's no charting and everything is exactly where you need it to be. I feel like I don't have great insight into this because the most med surg patients I've had assigned is five. Ten patients to one nurse is just a raw deal for everyone. Like christ no wonder you feel like you're burning out! I'll give you what thoughts I have and hopefully other people can chime in if they have suggestions. But that's such a hard patient load.

When I've been super swamped, I've found that's when being really explicit about your thinking with the patient helps. Like if I have to dash into a room and then dash back out, I'll make sure the board is updated with the next medication time and that the patient knows when the medication is going to kick in. I'll also provide call light parameters. I have a lot of success telling people, "the med should be doing something by 5:30. If I haven't checked in with you by then, and the pain is unchanged or barely changed, hit your call light and we'll try the next step. Also hit your call light if you feel any sudden change, like now you're nauseated or you have a headache or the type of pain changes or something just feels very wrong. Is there anything you need before I step out of the room?"

I like to be explicit about when to call me because I think there's two directions call light usage can go wrong: someone calls all the time, or someone never calls. With someone who calls all the time, I find that telling them when I'll be back and that I want them to call me if I'm not takes away some of that anxiety that can causes some people to call frequently. Often those patients are afraid that if they aren't on the call light, they're gonna get ignored.

For the other type of patient, the one that doesn't call, I want to make explicit that it's GOOD AND NORMAL TO CALL YOUR NURSE WHEN YOU HAVE SYMPTOMS. We've all had that patient at the end of shift who goes, "btw the gnawing pain in my leg is now a 10/10" and you're like "what gnawing pain sir?? you've literally never mentioned it before now?? I don't have any meds for that lemme page super quick????" These patients can get into pain crises easily because they don't ask for help until something is unbearable. In addition to pain crisis bad, it takes a lot more time to deal with something unbearable than it does to deal with something uncomfortable.

On that note, are you spending your very limited time efficiently? To me, that actually means spend more time talking with patients, at least up front. Manage expectations, make sure people know what to expect. Having conversations with patients that are like, "You just had surgery, it's not gonna happen that we get you completely painless. We want to get you to a manageable pain level that allows you to do whatever it is you most want to do this shift." (For me on nights, that's usually sleeping at least a little, but sometimes the realistic goal you make together is that you will feel at some point better than you feel right now.) "You have this medication scheduled, and you have this one available every X hours when your pain is severe. Is there anything you know that helps you deal with pain?"

Also establish if patients want to be woken up for certain prn medications or if they're sleeping, to let them sleep. With some patients, I will advise them to get woken up for pain medication because I know that they're going to need consistent control to avoid a crisis. (Crises take so much time!)

When I'm crunched for time, I'm fond of bringing in an ice pack and being like "if it works, great, if it doesn't, just take it off, either way here it is." Sometimes I'll do the same with a warm blanket. If I know my patient needs to take pills, I'll bring a cup of water with me into the room. If there's a basic prn like melatonin or tylenol that I think they might want, I'll pull them in advance. If the patient doesn't want them, I return them next time I'm in the med room. (Obviously, don't do this with controlled substances. It's super easy to forget to return them, and not returning opioids is one of those whoopsies people get fired over.)

Decision making takes time. Walking to go get stuff takes time. I want to save the time it takes to assess if the patient needs those things and then walk off to fetch them by just having the things already. If your tightest resource is time, be liberal with resources you can spare. If you're stuck with a patient, do you have anyone you can delegate a prn med pass to? Do you know how to do the absolute minimum charting you need to? Do you have flushes and alcohol wipes and whatever other most common things you need? And since you can't hoard time, if you've got some to spare, ask yourself if there is anything you can do now that will save you time later. If you have five free minutes now and an incontinent patient, getting them up to the bathroom now can save you from taking the time for incontinence care and a bed change later on when they've also sundowned and decide they hate everything but most of all you.

So much of this answer I realize is investing as much time upfront as you can, which I realize is so hard when you are so busy. It sucks immensely that prepping takes much less time than not being prepared does when you don't always have time to prep. Plus when you invest that time to pain plan with patients and do small preventative interventions, I think it also provides some psychological comfort that helps with pain. You're letting them know you're invested and you care and you have a plan, even if you don't have all the time you'd like. That can mean better pain control, which can mean needing to spend less time in that room overall, meaning you can save six whole minutes at some point and maybe even, if we're feeling crazy, get a chance to indulge in that greatest of indulgences: just a real leisurely on-shift piss.

#nursing tag #i hope this helps at all i know how much it sucks to end a shift like 'cool. i didn't help my patients. feel great about that.' #it sucks when you don't have enough time to take care of people because you have too many people to take care of #anyway also thank you re: pain post compliment. and also thank you re: getting to talk about pain mgmt again #marge simpson holding potato voice: i just think [nursing process and symptom management] is neat!

[mango-fizz]

16 and 22 with, Shiver of course :)

why did u give me the hardest questions djfhsjfbsjrhwnfbsb ok for 22 shiver's lowest point is whatever the fuck happened here

second for number 16 i dont know if i have any childhood hcs ? honestly? i think theres some backstory stuff but idk how much is canon and how much is fanon, but one hc i do have is that shiver's tentacles were longer when they were younger and they cut them. i think thats it sjfhsjdhsbd i did write this one vent fic a while ago ahaha i guess it could count as a hc ! (???)

"Hey, Shiv!" Frye hoists herself up and sits cross-legged on the windowsill. 

Shiver is at her desk sobbing into her hands.

Frye frowns. "You good?"

Shiver looks up at her through her tentacles, face scrunched up and streaked with tears. She starts crying again at Frye's expression and buries her face in her arms. 

Frye furrows her eyebrows. She lowers herself from Shiver's window and approaches the desk. The paper closest to her is marked with a big red 96%. Frye recognizes it as the essay assignment from last week.

She spots another one, this one marked 82%. Another, 91%. Lastly, the paper in front of Shiver is half-written, somewhere along the first body paragraph, but it's hard to tell with them sobbing all over it.

"It's awful," they blubber. 

"But all of these are good, though."

"No, they're not! I've never written a worse essay in my life."

Frye briefly skims the papers. "Looks pretty good to me. You got good grades on all of these."

Shiver pulls at their tentacles, "No. I hate it, I hate writing essays so much. I knew I would be struggling with this class but I didn't think it'd be like this." They press their forehead against the surface of the desk. "It didn't used to be this difficult. I didn't used to struggle like this. I was always just… good at everything."

Frye doesn't really know what to say to that. Luckily, she doesn't have to, because Shiver keeps going. She sits next to them patiently.

"I was good at everything, so I never had to try. And now I'm actually struggling, and I don't know what to do. I don't want to do this," Shiver gestures at the paper in front of her.

"A-and- and I feel terrible for thinking that way, y'know? I feel lazy. I feel so fucking disappointed in myself. I didn't used to be this lazy. But if I really was lazy, it wouldn't bother me this much, right?"

She wipes her eyes. "My mom wants me to take more difficult classes. Where they make me write more essays. And I hate writing essays more than anything. But she keeps saying I have so much potential, and that I can do it if I just try," her voice cracks. Frye hands her a tissue. She accepts it gratefully.

"She says I can do it if I just try, but I'm tired of trying. I'm tired of the expectations. I'm tired of always feeling like I'm just waiting to disappoint someone. I just want to be average for once. We argue a lot about this, and that makes me feel worse."

"I don't think you necessarily have to be the best. It's okay to just be you," Frye smiles encouragingly and pats her arm.

Shiver sniffs. "Thanks." 

"It's also okay to not want to take harder classes. I mean, no one wants to, so I totally get you," she adds with a giggle. "Tons of people don't take em, and they turn out fine."

"But I'm not just anybody, Frye. I'm-- I'm perfect--"

"Nuh uh! None of that!" She grabs Shiver by the shoulders. "You'll be fine. You don't wanna take hard classes? That's fine! You don't wanna write essays? That's fine too! I don't either! So please don't be too hard on yourself. You're only looking out for your health, I promise you're not disappointing anyone. We'll figure it out, okay?"

Shiver nods.

"Speaking of which, we're gonna be the freshest new band in the Splatlands, so who cares what your mom says!? You don't need essays to be cool!" Frye pumps her fists in the air. Shiver smiles slightly.

"Thanks, Frye. I appreciate it, really." 

Frye smiles back. "That's what friends are for, right? Now c'mon. Forget those papers and let's go practice our vocals." She gets up and rips one of the sheets in half.

#mangoask #splatoon #shiver #what they dont know is that ive actually been projecting onto shiver durísimo #'shivers just like me if you think about it' #'annoying?' #no hay respeto #this is kinda cheesy tho

[rurus-kadoo]

My Thoughts on Genloss

Excerpts taken from my conversation with my friend who'd already seen it <- the red stuff will be commentary from now-me

Uh oh, my input is no longer wanted "You were not supposed to fail" gurl the BEES "Your failures have not forgotten" I think only the "are you alone" failure screen is different "who even are you" "You are never alone"

I'll help you, glitch person!! D: <- clueless

What in the actual heck

"(Doot)" mood

"Finally, I got the-" "BOO. B[WORD I'M NOT GONNA SAY!]" "Okay, listen, who's haunting who right now?!

I don't trust squiggles

"RUMBISH RUMBISH? MY TUMMY'S A LITTLE RUMBISH RUMBISH!!" *looks directly at the camera* "Wet." Gagooby >:) I don't like splagebi, gonna be honest. I haven't been paying attention to the fridge magnets, is behind you what they've said the whole time?? "Looks like this contestant is running out of slime. I mean slime. I mean slime. I mean slime. I mean slime." "Please don't send me to Christian hell, I don't want to go to Christian hell again"

Also don't think I didn't notice the fact that Ranboo can't remember the things that happened when his mask lights were off and also that they were flickering after Slimecicle left What does it mean when they're flickering?!?!?!!?!?! <- clueless

Genloss is so surreal

Squiggles feels like the embodiment of chat but I know it's deeper than that Also I love how chat had the option not to haunt at the beginning and it just did not cross your minds at all

I found the creature Shicklester? The lobicklarp

Light on = fully in Flickering = starting to question/feel weird Off = talking to the man in the TV (Hetch? I think that's what he said) <- clueless

Uh What rat people do <- clueless

That's some interesting surgery

Uh The glitches came on and the slime turned red and he started screaming like a normal person would if someone had cut open their stomach Earlier, the glitches only came on when that TV guy was around, but he seems to be trying to get Ranboo out, which seems like a good thing, but then he keeps saying "Don't resist" which feels weird <- starting to be less clueless And in the last one Ranboo was confused but in the light-hearted silly atmosphere, and when he was saying the demon was trying to kill him, it didn't quite feel that way But this time his distress is immediately evident And it sounds like he's on the verge of tears "I don't want to do this!" "I need to find this key inn order to live"

Okay that's weird, dude literally said "you gotta perform surgery" and he's saying Ranboo misinterpreted it based on "on" or "in" And Slimecicle literally said he swallowed the key Something's wack here <- ohoho I had nooo idea Meanwhile, squiggles is talking about what a gushy gooshy guy Slimecicle is

There's the one girl freaking out and then the rest of the captives are being total crapheads "Did you try the button that works? Hey how about you try the working one?" "Just figure it out!" "Try harder!" Just leave them, Ranboo, they don't deserve it "the one girl" EXCUSE YOU THAT IS NIKI NIACHU <- my friend I CAN'T SEE HER I DIDN'T KNOW PLUS I DON'T WATCH ENOUGH OF HER CONTENT TO RECOGNIZE HER WAILS OF DESPAIR

*audible gasp* Frank!!! :D He's back!! <- clueless

Well that's some pretty good costume-makeup-work Cuz I'm pretty sure no actual human beings have that villain facial structure

"I want Turner to be my Turner." 🥺

I'm noticing some continuity things, which I'm not sure how relevant they actually are to the actual Genloss universe <- clueless For example, Slimecicle being both the slime demon and the hospital patient And Sneeg's hat being pulled from Slimecicle's guts Okay, Frank is canonically the same Frank, it's not just me going "skeleton? Frank!!", which to me confirms the continuity things from episode 1 to 2 are in fact relevant So what the heck happened to Sneeg, and why is Slimecicle a person instead of a demon now? I guess we'll have to see... <- clueless

..Chat's going to save Frank, aren't they? Please tell me you guys saved Frank over the actual living people

WAIT THERE HE IS THERE'S SNEEG Of course he's next to Frank

Wait Why is squiggles freaking out about the hat "Bad hat bad hat bad hat" And now the glitches are here Because the hat is on his head I keep telling you, I don't trust squiggles <- the one thing I was right about the whole time

Sneeg just escaped, I think!

Noooooooo D: He didn't escaped

Uoh Oh I don't like this

THE TAKEN THE TAKEN THE TAKEN THE TAKEN THE TAKEN <- I played the game before watching this, so "The Savior, The Taken, and The Villain were very present in my mind.

Okay Niki's been sobbing her eyes out this whole time and now that it's her turn, she's just Fine with things? Everything's just so nIcE

HE KILLED FRANK

Fish are the key to everything, calling it here <- wrong

I still can't believe he killed Frank Frank did nothing to deserve this

What the heck Niki's dead SHE'S NOT DEAD SHE'S WAILING Well now she's dead

Mans literally gave his means of controlling Ranboo and the gang to Ranboo and the gang

Aaaaa the lights <- talking about the mask lights The door What was he reaching for Was that squiggles behind the curtain

What is this why museum And the lights are back on W h a t Why anvil

"STOP backseating!" Mood

*gaspeth* SLIME DEMON!! NOOOOOOOO Rip slime demon

What Teleportation

Other dude didn't last long lol

Pffft mister man just said "y'all are taking too long!!! I'll do it myself >:("

The door malfunction XD YOUCANTURNAROUND

"Everything you're doing is not what I intended" I figured as much XD

Always press buttons Oh gosh the room lights

What if one of you just like Looked?

Oh dear That is pooling blood

"THEY SLAY'D THE SLAY KING" Ah, Squiggles Keep on squigglin ..I don't trust 'em

Them: surely it can't be this door, the Puzzler is going to make it more tricky than that The Puzzler: The Puzzler: guys it's literally just the door, dude that just died went through the door marked don't

No he didn't No way man dropped the detonator Frick Well they're not dead, so it wasn't the detonator

Okay what if you just took the arrow and stuck it manually to the middle of the target Oh nice, dude had the same idea

Woah it's the MCC minigame but in live action

Okay guys there's literally no need for all this fighting, you could literally stand in a single file line and make it Sneeg's just defending Ranboo, all casually

Well it very much seems like The Puzzler is dead Ominous closeup on his chair for forever

Hi Ranbooo Come on Ranboo you can't tell me you don't desperately want to sit in the chair I'd want to sit in the chair if I were you I mean look at that chair That's a very sittable chair It's also very shredded but still

I'm sorry mister puzzler man, can't understand what you're saying dude

BOX es

"the truth will set you free?" <- eyerolling

Ranboo doesn't look like he's doing so well <- clueless

WHY IS HIS VOICE CLEARER NOW SQUIGGLES, YOU'RE LOSING CONTROL? IS THAT WHY? Don't let him flee? Is that what you're saying, Squiggles? (I legitimately can't tell lol)

THE LIGHTS ARE OFF THE LIGHTS ARE OFF

Ohh crap Oh dang Sksgsajsvsuwsvwospnxvvfiwgqhakduwisbduqbdvucdioewjwbqpnxcfhwinewoqofhcyxjdbvwwksxyuansgausjau

Ooo Ranboo talking to the cameraman spooky What is perhaps more spooky is Hetch's voice not being distorted <- still mostly clueless but suspicious now

I do NOT trust this man "I'll tell you all in time" aka the line every "oOh I'm YoUr FrIeNd! ToTaLlY nOt GoNnA bEtRaY yOu!" says <- no longer clueless in one regard but hopelessly clueless in another

He sounds like he's gonna cry!! D:

Ok mans changing his story 11 times a minute and he expects anyone to trust him?

This guy big sus <- amogus iT's NoT wOrTh DwElLiNg On ThAt RiGhT nOw DUDE LET THIS POOR GUY DWELL ON THAT RIGHT NOW HE NEEDS TO DWELL ON THAT

THE HERO <- the original game stuff had "The Savior", which I misremembered We've had The Taken and now The Hero Where's The Villain, Hetch? <- by Fall Out Boy <- also I'm getting rather close >:( frik u hetch

Mans having a crisis and you're telling him "just keep going! Don't dwell on that! I'll get that mask off you eventually!" Like, man- <- bordering on creepily accurate (perhaps due to the extremely amazing job of the writers giving us subconsciously registered foreshadowing)

"Looks like they upped security since, uh..." Man literally couldn't be more suspicious

OOOOOOOO Hetch asking chat what to do and Ranboo choosing yellow anyway "I DON'T CARE" Good for you Ranboo!

Well crap Dksbhssgeusj Nzhwhsgs oh vd Nzhwosbshadsyw Mwhuahsvajbwwhjahsis Zjhzwuoqbwgdovdsggey

NOT THE CREEPY SECURITY ROOM WITH BLOOD POURING OUT OF IT

The streamers aren't creepy at all

"You did tpk your whole party last week" gurl what kinda DM do you have??

Charlie's Let's Play I can't-

Oh my gosh

"STOP WATCHING" <- when I found out Charlie was actually live I flipped XD Mans not taking this well and you can't blame him

NEITHER are taking this well

I'M not taking this well

It's so so so so so creepy having Charlie freak out like a sane person should instead of being the comic relief like he has been I can't I can't I can't Gah I love this so much "Uh, uh, maybe in the Suba?" He's freaking out and still managing to be comic relief but it's still so wrong aaaaaa <- I cannot stress enough how deeply unsettling it was to see Charlie Slimecicle in such sheer terror

run rUN RUN RUN RUN

Hetch is here aaaaa "F[ric]k off, Jerome"

"Tell them that the Hetch did this" "the Hetch"?

Charlie's asking the good sane questions <- and that TERRIFIED me I don't think Ranboo cares <- and that TERRIFIED ME

Ohoho Yeah he's embracing the villain arc I got the feeling Ranboo, more like Ranmyknifethroughyou They bleed electrical wires

The ringing behind the music is so

THAT PAN TO CHARLIE AA WHAT IS THAT SOUND Oh That's that sound Hi security

Ch Charlie? WHAT THE CRAPPP

He didn't tell them the Hetch did this

I know he hasn't won, and not just because there's more runtime This just doesn't feel right <- the least clueless I could possibly be without knowing spoilers

And he takes a bowCRAP CRAP I KNEW IT CRAP DANGIT HETCH CRAP CRAP CRAP

Dude

Dude

That's such a hard decision aaaaaaaaaaaa

THE GUTTURAL SCREAMS

"LET ME DIE"

s silence

and the credits roll

#generation loss spoilers #generation loss #genloss #long long post #dudeeeeee #I'm still reeling #while I'm here I'd like to plug my friend Asterlyyy's Take Me To Church genloss edit #it's so gooood ahoeihoaihohaehoaiehotihearhhi

[jonesatheart]

Betrayal

This is a snippet from my Purple April AU, it would take place prior to Outnumbered

I don't have any where else to go."

Casey blinked, momentarily dumbfounded at the sight of a bleeding April on his threshold, half slumped against the door frame, and hand pressed into her shoulder. He shook himself out of his stupor and opened the door wider for her to come in, offering his arm for support.

She took it and that's when he knew it was bad. He quickly closed and locked the door behind her.

"Were ya-"

"No, I wasn't followed. I made sure of that."

"What happened?" He asked and guided her into the bathroom.

April sat on the toilet lid while Casey dug out the trauma kit Donny had given him.

"After you tried to 'rescue' me they got suspicious," she explained. "Guess they didn't believe me when I told them I didn't know you anymore."

"Well, I'm sorry I caused you so much trouble. Alright, let me see ya arm." April moved her hand and Casey quickly pressed the wad of gauze to what he could only assume was a stab wound, and suddenly found himself silently thankful she was in a tank top and he wasn't having to worry about cutting any fabric away to deal with the wound that was more at the top of her bicep than the inside of the shoulder. "They really gotcha good, huh?"

April winced. "I'm sorry. Did I not make it obvious enough that they were trying to kill me?" She questioned snidely.

"Ya did," he answered placatingly. "It's just... I mean I can do superficial sutures, but I think this is gonna need more than that."

"I'm not going to the hospital, Jones!" She snapped.

"No, ya not," he agreed and added on more gauze. "I know someone who can help out. I need ya to trust me, though, okay?"

"I don't really have much choice, do I?"

"No, I guess not," Casey sighed. "I really am sorry that this happened, April. I'm gonna do what I can to help out, alright? Sit tight here, I'm gonna get you an ice pack to slow the bleeding and give my friend call to come by that way ya not out where anyone can see you."

---

"What'd you do this time?" Don teased when he answered the call from Casey.

"Not me this time, pal. It's April."

Donatello paused "Friendly aquantence from high school turned gang member April?"

"They turned on her, Don," Casey explained. "She's got a pretty good stab wound I need ya to come look at."

"We'll be there soon."

"I don't need the whole entourage for one injury," Casey argued.

"We will be there soon," Don said again. "I'll take care of your friend. The others will be running patrol around your building."

---

"Wait, so they're not costumes?" April asked quizzical as Donatello examined her shoulder.

"No, we're...actually turtles. Do you know what you were stabbed with?"

"Something sharp," she answered sarcastically.

"Alright. Well, just to be safe, I'm going to give you a tetanus booster."

She arched a brow. "You just have that?"

"Well. Yes. My family lives in the sewers, we have to be careful," he answered matter-of-factly.

"Where'd you get it?"

"Never you mind!"

"I will mind!" April snapped back. "You just told me you live in the sewers and you expect me to let you inject me with-"

"Here." Don handed her the bottle from a insulated lunchbox. "You can examine this if you'd like. Now. If you'll kindly lie back and be still! I will get this sew up for you."

"You have terrible bedside manner," April complained, but did as she was told.

"I have terrible patients," he answered without missing a beat.

"Okay, but the numbing stuff makes sense. You can get that from an ambulance. How'd you get this?" She held up the vaccine bottle.

"I didn't steal it, if that's what you're implying."

"Someone did."

"I don't ask questions my friends those questions."

#whumptober2023 #no.18 #alt. betrayal. #tmnt #fic #my writing

[emilys-locket]

So Moondrop/Sunrise is the Daycare attendant right? So when the lights go off Sun switches over to Moon and is basically in charge in case any toddlers can't sleep or refuse to.

That uh oh moment when you almost are able to get a snack after the lights go off and you see the moon watching you disapprovingly you ready to put you back into bed. Right after they sung a song and told a story too how could you do this?

#this is amazing Steel Wool you geniuses! #they can and WILL tuck you into bed dont you dare deny a nap. #Steel Wool is so vague when it comes to sun and moon with only them saying that they are the daycare attendant #so who knows what they're gonna do with them. guess we'll have to be patient till next week huh? #fnaf moondrop #fnaf moon animatronic #fnaf sun animatronic #fnaf sunrise #fnaf sundrop #i speak #fnaf daycare attendant

[iwaisuke]

i like you so much, you'll know it

ft. kageyama tobio, semi eita, iwaizumi hajime x fem!reader

genre: fluff (prompts are based off lines of the song)

masterlist

a/n: from the c-drama a love so beautiful :) i wrote this at like 4am so sorry if its crap haha. not proof read either. also, sorry in advance if they're too ooc lol im a mess rn.

» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

i like your eyes, you look away when you pretend not to care i like the dimples on the corners of the smile that you wear. i like you more the world may know but dont be scared cause im falling deeper baby be prepared.

» today was your first day at karasuno highschool. honestly, you were so scared. that was up until you found out kageyama was going too.

» the two of you had been childhood friends due to each others grandparents knowing the others. you had been with him through his ups and downs. his victories and defeats. almost everything kageyama did, you were there with him.

» actually, you didnt know kageyama was going to karasuno until you walked outside your door to find the raven haired boy in the same school uniform as you

» "tobi? you never told me you were going to karasuno?" giving him a side eyed grin. "i thought you were planning on going to aoba johsai like oikawa senpai and iwaizumi senpai"

» you viewed kageyama as someone who expected others to reach his level in order to be a good match for him. he had a strong head on his shoulders. naturally gifted in volleyball, like everything was given to him on a gold platter. of course, he wasnt perfect and thats where you come in and keep him level headed. helping him understand his faults and weaknesses as well. doing your best to encourage the setter

» he let out a sigh. a slight frown forming on his face. "i didnt get in.." he quietly said. "karasuno has a good volleyball team though and i can feel myself growing here" he stated bodly

» and boy was he right. something about kageyama did changd that day. he usually was so bitter and angry. a very pessimistic look on life if he and others weren't at the top. maybe it was the orange haired boy, hinata, that the setter and you became friends with. and maybe it was his great senpai's who were patient with him and gave him the opportunity to grow

» kageyama started smiling more often. his small unnoticeable dimples showing. he became kinder. softer. and more carefree. he was a growing boy both mentally and physically.

» what you didnt realize was that not only was kageyama changing, you as well, had something changing and growing in your heart.

» but kageyama noticed. oh boy did he really notice, the way you seemed to become happier and livelier by the day. how the stars sparkled in your eyes when you talked about something you enjoyed. the kind of perfume you would wear and how you would tie your hair differently each day. the weird trinkets you just seemed to love that decorated your bag. but most importantly, how much bigger your heart has become, loving everyone and their faults. always encouraging and motivating him and his team.

» was she always like this? he would constantly think to himself. all of a sudden being hyperaware about you... but he would NEVER let you know that, let alone his senpai's. it was just too embarrassing. just thinking about the never ending teasing he'd get from tanaka and noya senpai made him shiver.

» all of these things he felt about you hit kageyama like a truck the day everyone started to wear their winter uniforms.

» picking you up to walk to school together was a normal thing since the two of you lived close, but how was kageyama suppose to do this now when you're standing in front of him. thigh high socks to keep your legs warm, an oversized jacket that you had borrowed from him a while back you forgot to return. white mittens to cover your cold hands and the slight blush on your face from the wind chill.

» "does it look weird?" you shyly asked. kageyama was silent. "ah.. give me a second. I'll go back in and change real qui-"

» kageyama tugged on your hand. "its fine. lets just go to school or we'll be late." refusing to look you in the eyes. heat rising to your cheeks as tobio dragged you along with him.

» your feelings for the setter had blossomed over the past few months. falling deeper and deeper into him, and at this point you felt like you couldnt hide it anymore. you just had to tell him. tell him all the wonderful things he's done. the way he's grown and how much he means to you.

» "tobi..." your soft voice spilling out. eyes closed, the fog of your breath coming out as you exhaled. "i lik-"

» you felt something wrap around your neck. "wait y/n..." kageyama spoke, interrupting what you were about to say. not gonna lie, you felt like your heart was about to be shattered like ice eventhough kageyama continued to wrap his scarf around your neck.

» "dont say it..." he quietly said as he began to walk forward without you.

» ah... is this what rejection feels like? i didnt even get to say it properly... your hands felt colder now that kageyama wasnt holding them anymore.

» he took a quick glance back at you. blush on his cheeks. "be prepared because i want to be the one to tell you first."

i like the way you try so hard when you play ball with your friends. i like the way you hit the notes in every song you're shinnin' i love the little things like when you're unaware, i catch you steal a glance and smile so perfectly

» semi eita, your 3 year heart throb from the moment he first spoke to you.

» at first, you had suppressed these feelings, telling yourself he would never look at you the same way. but something about the blonde tsundere struck a chord in your heart that you just couldn't forget.

» the two of you ended up becoming friends. closer than you had actually imagined within these past 3 years. doing everyday life with you. waking up and saving you a spot at breakfast. helping you with your studies in exchange for being his workout buddy and motivator.

» semi kept his tabs on you. your likes and dislikes. the things that made you smile and the things that made you groan in disgust, but he would never let you know that.

» to semi, you were his breath of fresh air. the song he has on repeat everyday. the kind of person who would keep him on his toes. in a good way of course

» "oi what are you daydreaming of this time?" semi asked as you zoned out while drinking your carton of strawberry milk. "hm? oh nothin. just thinkin about whats in store for us today!" reaching your arms above your head letting out a stretch. "i just know for a fact. today is gonna be a good day." semi chuckled at your optimistic claim. "how do you know for sure?" "i dont know how. i just do" you replied with a smile on your face.

» today, shiratorizawa had a practice match with aoba johsai and today, eita was picked to be in the starting line up. the pure joy that radiated from his body. maybe today was a really good day just like how you had said.

» semi took a quick glance up into the stands, you gave him a thumbs up and wished him good luck. his smile was brighter than you had ever seen it and his eyes shined like stars. he always told you that whatever chance he got on the court, he would be sure to not let his team down no matter what. he was in his zone. playing his best and sure enough, they had won all 3 matches.

» after practice, semi and you would hang out at his dorm afterwards. he liked to show you all the new songs he was working on. whether it was a cover or a song or a song he was writing on his own.

» the two of you leaned against the wall as you sat on semi's bed. his sheet music all sprawled out before him on his bed sheets. guitar in his arms and you beside him.

» "what are you working on semi?" "a song" "well obviously dum dum" you laughed, reaching out for a paper in front.

» "so who's the special lady?" you teased him as you read the lyrics. deep down inside you could only wish these words were meant for you. a blush formed on eita's face. "just... shut up about it... its not ready yet"

» it was getting late and falling asleep at semi's place was a normal occurrence at this point. your eyes became heavy and your head started bobbing.

» "sleepy?" eita asked as he noticed your eyes drooping. "mhm. sing for me semi? please?" his voice was so soft like a mothers touch yet somehow had the power to pierce through your soul sometimes. although, it never failed to help you fall asleep when you needed it.

» hesitantly, semi started humming. softly speaking some lyrics here and there. you didnt know where the tune was from so you listened the best you could.

» "... till the last of snow dissapears ... till a rainy day, becomes clear. never knew a love like this, now i can't let go..."

» your eyes had closed. slumber taking over you as you fell onto semi's shoulder.

» "im in love with you... and now you know..."

» yeah. today was a good day. just like you said it was going to be.

in a world devoid of life, you bring color. in your eyes i see the light, my future. always and forever i know i cant let you go. im in love with you and now you know

» to iwaizumi, unlike volleyball, oikawa, maki, mattsun, school, anything life threw at him; you were the thing in his life that was constant yet at the same time a whirlwind of new beginnings. not in a bad way though.

» ever since you were kids, you showed iwaizumi the beauty in things he would have never guessed had. he was bold and tended to look over things without giving them much thought. his eyes straight ahead to the trials before him. you on the other hand, stopped him and slowed him down from rushing into them blindly.

» "every moment is precious. you should learn to cherish it because you never know when it's gonna be your last" you always said

» your views of the world were beautiful compared to how cruel it actually was. naivety maybe? or maybe it was just because you were blessed with a kind soul.

» iwaizumi always knew he had feelings for you. you had been with him through thick and thin. he could depend on you and you could depend on him. in his eyes, you were the most beautiful person on earth. deep down he had hoped the two of you could stay like that forever. nothing could ever change that.

» or so he thought...

» "iwa chan~ you owe me a meat bun" oikawa whined as the group of friends were walking to the gym for volleyball practice. "shut up crappykawa. i already bought you one last week" "oi isn't that y/n over there?" maki said, shaking iwaizumi's shoulder.

» sure enough it was you. apparently you had told iwaizumi to go ahead of you today because you had something to take care of in the afternoon. telling him you'd meet up with him after practice was over. not thinking much of it, he bid you a farewell and went on in his day.

» "oooou by the looks of it, this is the perfect confession scene" mattsun teased. "oi stop messing around" iwaizumi's voice hoarse. not gonna lie, iwaizumi felt his heart drop when mattsun said that

» the 4 boys crept closer to see what was going on.

» there you were, standing in the middle of a classroom with a black haired boy. "mhm. definitely a confession." oikawa stated. "shut up tooru we cant hear" maki retorted.

» you weren't considered popular in school but that didnt mean people didnt know who you were. iwaizumi knew you were gorgeous and on top of that, smart, kind and one of the sweetest girls, so it was only natural that people would be drawn to you.

» they watched as the boy got closer and closer to you. voices barely being audible to the 4 boys outside. iwaizumi's heart could bear to see this right before his eyes.

» without even thinking, his feet moving on his own, iwaizumi barged into the room. all eyes towards him.

» "iwa what are you-" without letting you finish, iwa dragged you out of the classroom. "iwa where are you taking me" asking him as he took you to who knows where, leading you up the stairs of the school.

» up on the roof, he finally let go. "sorry..." he mumbled.

» "sorry for what iwa?" "for ruining that confession... i just-"

» "you just...-?"

» "i just love you ok?!"

» your heart shook at the resonance of his voice. iwa liked you? he liked you back?! wait no- he loved you.

» you had loved iwaizumi from the moment you met him and as the two of you grew up, your love for him only grew deeper. he was the only one you'd ever look at. the only one who would ever cross your mind. you had hoped he felt the same about you but he was always so busy with other things you only felt like you would be able to support him on the sidelines as he faced the world head on like he always does.

» just being in iwaizumi's presence was enough for you. no need to be greedier, you thought. its good to be content with what you have, but just knowing that he shares the same feelings... its ok to be a little greedy right?

» your silence being louder than it should have been, iwaizumi took it the wrong way. "look I know this isn't the greatest confession. heck it's not even the way I wanted to confess to you, and get it if you like that other guy, you don't have to-"

» shuting him up with a kiss, you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in closer. needless to say, he was shocked, but embraced you as well.

» "you're overthinking too much iwa. that's so unlike you" you chuckled. his face bright red at the previous actions.

» "i love you. I've loved you for a long time actually. every single second. every moment we've shared. i cant picture myself with anyone but you hajime."

» iwa let out a sigh of relief. a smile being brought back onto his face. "good because all I know is that i cant let you go. in the past, present and even in the future...."

» the blue sky slowly changing into shades of coral warmed your heart even more on top of his sweet words that you've always longed to hear.

» "im in love with you, and now you know"

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

enjoy your order! have a great day!

#haikyuu x reader #hq fluff #kageyama tobio #kageyama x reader #kageyama fluff #semi eita #semi x reader #semi eita fluff #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi fluff #iwaizumi x reader #haikyuu fluff #yinny!drabbles

[pixelwisp-archive]

Itadakimasu!! | Part 11: I'm Sorry (Written Chapter)

word count: 3.1k

The Mixtape: Thinking of you | CA, 1979

The music that pooled out of Onigiri Miya was anything but what you expected.  A small smile crept up onto your face - despite your best efforts - and with a featherlight touch, you crept into the restaurant, silently thanking the soft jazz for drowning out the creaks as you pushed the door open in search of a certain chef.

Osamu stood at the sink, hands working some leftover dishes from the work day. He hummed softly along to the music, and it surprised you just how nice  he sounded - how his deep hum complemented the honey voice that dripped through the speakers; rich, thick, and soft like velvet. You padded into the kitchen, clutching the wine and apron closer to your frame so as not to bump it on anything that could give you away, and allowed yourself a few minutes to listen and appreciate before ultimately ruining the moment.

“I didn’t know you could sing, Miya.” You brought a hand up to suppress a giggle as he stiffened and dropped the plate he had been washing with a loud clatter. Osamu bowed his head and cleared his throat, loud enough to drown out the music for a brief moment before it ultimately pervaded the kitchen once more. He grabbed the nearest towel to dry his hands before reaching for the remote, the music ceasing with a quick click. Once he turned around, your eyes immediately fell on the dusted pink that settled onto his cheeks, and you did your best to ignore the warmth that ignited in your chest at the sight.

"So, Etta James, huh?" Osamu coughed awkwardly, turning his attention back toward the sink to finish up the last few dishes that lingered in the basin.

"Ya know Etta James?" An affirming hum left your lips as you placed the bottle of wine and your apron on the island, eyes flitting over the rustic kitchen in search of wine glasses.

The kitchen was a decent size, the bright wooden counters and cabinets a stark contrast to the dark iron of the appliances, but it complemented each other and suited the space well. The soft ivory paint on the walls kept the overall area from being too loud compared to the rest of the restaurant, and you wondered if Kita was behind the greenery that added a lush, vibrant addition to the otherwise plain shop. Your eyes landed on a modest pile of cookbooks stored neatly in the corner, and you let out a huff of victory as you made your way over to the wine glasses that sat in a windowed cabinet above them.

"My parents were big fans, they've always had a funny fascination with America," you explained, and from the corner of your eye you saw him nod. The two of you relished in the, for once, comfortable beats of silence that followed, and you were surprised when he - for a second time since you had met him - decided to be the one break it.

"My Ma used to have this busted up, old, mix tape that she would play every night when she made dinner. Got it at a flea market when she spent a semester abroad in California. She always talked about how she wished she could visit again." The fondness in his voice made your heart squeeze. You busied yourself, listening intently as you placed two wine glasses onto the counter and filled them generously. "Eventually the cassette broke from years of abuse, but I managed to find the songs and make her a playlist. She still listens to it, every night, and I guess I got so used to it that it feels almost...wrong, to cook without hearin' it in the background, even though I'm not home anymore." You slid one glass over to him and he raised a brow at it, a soft smile pointed your way.

"I think ya skimped me a bit," he joked, and you chuckled sheepishly, a hand coming to scratch the back of your neck.

"What can I say, I like my wine." He chuckles as you reach for the small remote. 

"You didn't have to stop it, you know. I love me some Etta," you said, and his smile widened ever so slightly as you pressed play, the smooth voice fluttering through the speakers once more, softer this time as you adjusted the volume. You lifted the wine glass to your lips, taking a tentative first sip. The second the bittersweet liquid hit your tongue, you closed your eyes and sighed into the familiarity. It flashed you back to Tokyo; the seemingly endless nights on the balcony with Tendou and Semi, your drunken laughter rivaling the music in volume as Semi sang along with fervor - but, really, does anyone sound good when they're nearly a bottle deep?

Reality slammed into you like a meteor, and you were instantly struck back into the present moment, meeting Osamu's eyes as he watched you curiously. You felt the warmth crawl up your neck from the embarrassment, and you cleared your throat in the hopes that you could divert his attention to literally anything else.

"So,  are you gonna teach me how to properly make some Onigiri tonight?" His eyes fell on the apron you brought, the one he gifted to you, and his eyebrows shot up in surprise as his lips settled into a playful smirk.

"Who said anythin' about 'teach'? I said I'd show ya how I make it; I didn' say nothin' about teachin' ya."

"And miss out on learning how to make Onigiri Miya's signature dish? No way." Osamu scoffed as you grabbed your apron and began tying it around your waist. His arms folded in front of him, his lips a thin line. You couldn't tell if he was thinking or already disapproving.

"This was meant to be an apology, you know," he started, but you cut him off.

"I know! And what better apology than by helping me perfect my shaping?" The resigned sigh that followed meant a victory for you, the grin proof enough for both of you that you had won. "So, what are we making today?"

"I figured I'd keep it simple tonight. Ya like fatty tuna?" Of course you do.  Who doesn’t? "Great, let's get started then."

To be honest, you weren't expecting Osamu to be as patient with you as he was. Even though you were decently acquainted with the 'art form' that was Onigiri (as so eloquently and dramatically described by Osamu), you decided to entertain him and pretend to struggle with every step - over shredding the tuna, spilling the spices, adding too much mayo - in the minor hope that you could catch him stressed and maybe a bit frustrated - but to your somewhat disappointment, mostly pleasant surprise, every effort to get at least a furrowed brow or a groan was met with a warm smile, sometimes a breathy chuckle, and a strong pair of arms gently guiding you through the correct steps.

It was as equally frustrating as it was endearing.

"Now ya wanna dip yer hands into the dish of water I left on the side for ya, yeah, great, that's it - now grab a pinch of salt - not too much, just a pinch, and ya wanna rub it into yer hands to prep for the rice."

"What if I have a cut somewhere?"

"Do ya have a cut?"

"Well, not that I know of, but what if there's a cut I don't know about?"

"Well then I guess we'll find out soon, won' we?"

You huffed, but nonetheless pinched the tiny mountain of salt and collected a modest amount before tentatively rubbing it into your hands. Your shoulders were stiff the entire time, prepared for the sudden sting on the off chance the salt decided to acquaint itself with an unknown wound on your hand. You heard Osamu stifle a laugh, and your eyes met his as he smirked at your cautious form.

"Stop staring at me, focus on your own stupid rice ball." He laughed - loudly, beautifully - and you felt your hands tremble the slightest bit as you tried to put all of your focus on making a stupid, dumb triangle out of some stupid, dumb rice.

"Need some help?" You merely grumbled in response as the little bundle of rice and filling crumbled in your hands, despite your feeble attempts at shaping it. He set his own, perfectly shaped, onigiri aside and scooched over to you, his arms reaching around your form, chest pressed lightly against your back. "Yer pressing in too softly, so the rice isn't holding. Cup yer hands like this-" he cupped your hands within his own "-just like that. Now press a little firmer, like this." You were trying your best to pay attention to what he was showing you, you really were - but you couldn't help but marvel at how soft his hands were. You expected them to be rough; calloused from years of cooking, volleyball, and the handyman side hobby, but clearly that wasn’t the case. What kind of lotion did he use to make them feel so smooth? Probably some fancy homemade Aloe Vera lotion Kita made for him, you thought with a scoff.

This new revelation had also made you hyper aware that your hands were not, in fact, soft - countless burns, cuts, and other various acts of carelessness in the kitchen have given your hands a battle worn texture that no amount of hoity toity, all natural Aloe Vera would be able to soften up. He must have been cringing inside just having to touch the absolute burlap that is your haggard looking, stupid hands, oh god-

"Nice job, yer doin' great." The gentleness in his voice plucked you from your inner turmoil, effectively grounding you back to the task at hand. What was once a crumbling mess of rice and tuna now stood a beautifully crafted onigiri, the plump triangle nestled snuggly in between your hands. A gasp left you as you beamed at the finished product, and you whipped your head toward him, twisting slightly within his grip so you could face him properly.

It was then that you realized just how close he was to you.

Whatever words you had planned to say to him died in your throat as your brain tried to comprehend why the hell his face was so close to yours. Osamu seemed to be in a similar state of shock, eyes wide and mouth emulating a fish, opening and shutting when the words weren't coming to him. From the way your own mouth gaped, you imagined you shared a similar expression.

Simultaneously, almost comically, you separated yourselves and severed eye contact, Osamu finding something above you particularly interesting. What exactly, you weren't sure - you were too busy eyeing every minute detail of the remarkably plain tile flooring.

Like an awkward embrace from an old friend you never truly vibed with, the uncomfortable silence settled between you two once again.

It would have almost felt nostalgic, if you didn't hate it with a seething passion.

'And my arms need someone, someone to enfold'

The playful jazz number cut through the silence, and you mentally cursed Etta for clearly not reading the room - your arms were certainly not looking to enfold anybody at the moment, and you imagined it was likely that Osamu felt the same.

You spun back around toward your work station, a quick roll of your shoulders the only indication that you were gonna keep working, because you sure as shit didn't trust whatever would have come out of your mouth had you chosen to open it. Lucky for you, he seemed to get the hint and moved back toward his own work station, making quick work of shaping what he had left, while you continued to struggle, albeit far less than before.

Not a word had been uttered in the moments that followed, the music filling the awkward rift that split between you.

To be honest, you felt guilty that nearly every interaction between you two inevitably dissolved into a dense, unbearable tension; the once lighthearted mood suddenly cracked open like a fault line, the quiet settling between you like dust, and it always felt so thick that trying to bring the moment back its old, enlightened state seemed to take such an immense amount of effort - effort that neither one of you appeared to want to put forth.

You wondered if Osamu shared a similar sentiment.

While you finished up the last of your onigiri, you allowed your attention to flicker to Osamu as he eyed the leftover tuna filling with seemingly great interest, brows furrowed and lips pressed into a thin line. You watched as he scooped the mess onto his finger, putting obvious effort into keeping it balanced as he brought the teetering pile to his lips. Right as he went to close his lips around his finger, the tiny mountain fell, smearing onto his chin and landing on the counter with the saddest little ‘splat’ you'd ever heard. The disappointment he exuded at his misfortune is what ultimately broke you, and you laughed - a bright, gleeful sound that dispelled the suffocating air in an instant, and made you feel like you could finally breathe again (which was ironic, considering how out of breath you were from the incessant giggles that sprung free with absolutely no regard for your lung capacity).

Your hand flew to your mouth in an (admittedly failed) attempt to stifle yourself, as well as possibly save the last shred of rapidly waning dignity Osamu was probably holding onto for dear life. You folded in on yourself, laughter bouncing off the restaurant floor and - again, probably - stabbing directly into Osamu's crumbling pride.

Just as you opened your mouth to apologize, Osamu's loud, beautiful laugh cut through your own, and at the sight of his uncharacteristically bright smile, accompanied with the little smear of mayo on his chin, you realized that, maybe, probably, he was actually doing just fine; and that this - laughing with him - was something you'd never been given the chance to do before, and you'd be lying if you said it wasn't something you wished you could do more often.

You hoped that, maybe, Osamu wanted that, too.

"So, I take it they didn't teach you how to make onigiri at your fancy schmancy culinary school?" He smiled as you bit back a groan. It was embarrassing, how ugly your onigiri looked next to his. Sure, you were joking about your incompetence in the beginning in the hopes to rile him up a little; but when it came to actually forming the balls, well - there's a reason the spite onigiri you made were small and round.

"You win this time, rice man." He boldly plucked one of your creations and plopped it onto his plate, while you opted for one of his. You knew yours were gonna have too much mayo and way too much seasoning, and you weren't about to subject yourself to that.

You took a bite out of the rice ball and audibly moaned - how is something so simple so delicious? He chuckled, lazy smile draped across his features as he watched you eat. The little sparkle in his eyes didn't go unnoticed by you, and you felt a tiny tug on your heart at how excited he was that you were enjoying his food, even if he wasn't being outwardly showy about it like you tended to be.

"'This time'? Does that mean we're doing this again?" You reached for another one of his as you hummed to yourself.

"Hmm, maybe. Maybe I'll force you to bake me some macarons." You were kidding, of course - you wouldn't wish that upon even your worst enemies - but the way his eyes brightened and he agreed with a small but noticeable lilt to his voice had you wondering if maybe making macarons wouldn't be all that bad if you made them with him.

He bit into your onigiri, taking a far more generous bite than you would have, and you snickered at the obvious attempt to conceal the grimace he had involuntarily made upon swallowing. The way he tiptoed around his critique of your failure was incredibly endearing ("It's not bad, just...mayo-y." "You don't have to eat it, you know." "No no, you worked hard, I'm gonna eat it."), and you felt the first little crack form in the walls you had begun to keep up around him ever since the curry incident.

The longer you enjoyed the food, wine, and - surprisingly - company, the harder it became to ignore the guilt that had settled onto your heart earlier in the evening. What started off as a mere twinge had become a sizeable weight in your chest, growing each moment you spent with him that didn't make you want to launch him off the summit of Mount Fuji.

"I'm sorry," you said, quiet and out of the blue. He shot you a confused smile.

"Pretty sure that's my job right now," he pointed out, and you offered a meek chuckle in response.

"I shouldn't have sold the dessert onigiri. Seeing just how passionate you are makes me realize the gravity of what I did. My ego was a little bruised and instead of being an adult about it, I openly insulted you and Kita by making a mockery of your business. I took it too far, and I'm really sorry about that. I'm sure it goes without saying, but I'm gonna stop making them so you don't have to worry anymore." He was quiet, staring at you in a way he hadn't before, and it made you feel far too exposed, playing with the rice crumbled on your plate as you waited for a reaction.

"I'm sorry, too. I only said those things because the idea of you expanding yer menu terrified me. Yer an amazin' chef, and I honestly think ya could run me out of business one day." His voice was soft, too; and you felt the crack grow considerably wider, your vulnerability peeking through pinched brows and hands that you couldn't seem to keep still. "I've always wanted to open up a location in Tokyo, and expand the menu. Onigiri made sense because it's always been a source of comfort, but as much as I love makin' em, there're others things I wanna make, too."

The air between you was...light. The weight that usually settled itself into your shoulder blades seemed to have dissipated, and you couldn't tell if it was the wine, the time, or Osamu. Maybe it was all three.

"I...I like it better when we don't hate each other," you said.

"I never hated you," he said.

"I never hated you either," you admitted.

"Does that mean we can stop pretending we do?" He looked you, and you saw hope.

You smiled.

"Yeah," you said. "We can."

Prev | Masterlist | Next

Fun facts -

Osamu listening to old 60′s love songs just did something to me ok, especially my girl Etta

Kita is 100% responsible for the plants 

Osamu’s mom kept the tape, even after it finally broke beyond repair. It reminds her of Osamu’s father, who she met that summer in Cali

he was another exchange student from Japan. They had a summer fling and inevitably said their goodbyes when the summer was over and he had to fly back home.

They ended up bumping into each other a year after she moved back - and fate has been a big theme for the Miya’s ever since. 

Osamu has always felt a little funny about it - it feels too convenient, and he doesn’t like the idea of not being in control of his own path.

He thought your ugly rice balls were disgusting, obviously, and he was sure to eat his own after the first one lmao

A/n - when you haven’t updated in so long you have to look at past chapters to remember how you formatted 😭. BUT ITS FINALLY DONEEEE, this chapter KICKED my ass oh my god but it feels so good to be finished and we’re finally moving into new territory~ I’m very excited for the next few chapters!! I hope you guys enjoy this latest chapter, please don’t be afraid to shoot me messages if you have questions!! I have a LOT of behind the scenes content that doesn’t make it into the fic sometimes and I’m always eager to share 🤩✨💛

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[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Eighty-Six

Words: 3K

Warning(s): explicit language, violence, drug abuse

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The only sound is the clock ticking on our lawyer's desk, and the soft pattering of rain coming down.

"Just sign and initial and we'll get these back to the judge for approval." Nikki's lawyer tells us and I rub my lips together. 

We both grab the pens he hands over to us, hesitantly, and Nikki clears his throat, his hand hovering over the first page of lines to be signed.

If he signs them, I'll sign them, I say to myself. 

His pen presses to the paper, and it's as if he's trying to force himself to sign them...nothing happens, though. 

The lawyer notices this. 

"They can't be registered for approval if they're not signed." He adds, looking at the both of us. 

Nikki just rolls his eyes and taps his foot, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. 

"Are you sure you want to do this?" I ask him softly, hoping to God he says, "no." 

"Yeah, Vivian. I'm sure." He states, still looking at the papers, pen still…

I get the "V" of my signature written and he looks down and scribbles across his paper, standing up. 

"Fuck this, c'mon." He hisses and I look at him, wide eyed as he grabs my hand and pulls me up. 

"W-What?" I ask. 

"I'm retracting." He tells his lawyer as he walks out, taking me with him. 

"Nikki, what the hell are you doing?" I ask him, confused as we walk down the stairs of the law firm. 

"I've broken every fuckin' vow except 'till death do us part' and I'll be fucked to hell if we stuck it out and stayed with each other after the worst bullshit just to fucking divorce." He tells me. 

One Month Earlier

I went to see him to try to understand where exactly we were in our relationship, if he even really wanted a divorce or if he was just wanted to start over, but, like always…

"I don't understand why you're being so stubborn, Viv--"

"--Because you want me to sign papers you filed less than 24 hours after you freaking died, Nikki!" I whisper yell. 

"I assure you, I'm well aware!" He replies in the same quiet tone. "Sign the fucking papers."

"None of my grandparents ever divorced, my parents aren't divorced, I am not getting divorced. I'm a Christian, we don't do divorce." 

"Well, you're not supposed to do sex before marriage or adultery, either, but that sure as shit didn't keep your panties on." He mumbles. 

"Do you really bring up who did what because I assure you, your list is a hell of a lot longer than mine." I reply. 

"Oh, is it?" 

"Oh, it so is and you know it is." 

He covers his ears and glare at him, flaring my nostrils. 

"Are you serious right now?" 

"I can't hear you." He tells me and I reach across the table and snatch his hands away from his ears, scowling. 

"You are acting like a child right now!" I scold him. 

"Now you know how I feel while trying to get you to just sign the damn papers!" He replies, crossing his arms. "But if you stay like this I might reconsider." He adds, his eyes on my chest where I'm leaning over. 

"You aren't even taking this seriously, Nikki." I shove at his shoulder before sitting back down and he chuckles. 

"I am, too," He argues. "You just look good." 

"You're changing the subject." 

"I can't compliment you?" 

"Not when it's just to change the subject." 

"I'm not changing the subject."

"Just like you to file for a divorce and then not want to discuss it with the woman who's put everything into the marriage you want wiped from existence." 

"Now, you're pissing me off." 

"You pissed me off when I got those damn papers with no warning."

"That's a lie, Vivian, the past year has been a fucking warning--especially with the amount of times you've thrown divorce in my face if I didn't straighten up. Remember that?"

"That's different. It was incentive to get you to act right."

"I didn't have any 'act right' left in me by that point." He states. "Unless it was for you." He smirks and I kick him under the table. 

"Quit being a pervert." 

"That's not perverted."

"This is a serious talk, Nikki, and you're trying to get out of it."

He opens his mouth to talk but I cut him off. 

"And I swear to God if you say, 'I'm trying to get you out of something,' I'm going to come across this table and make you wish you had died." 

"Is that a promise?" He raises a brow.

"I forgot how ridiculously immature sober Nikki is." I hiss. 

"No, no, baby, this isn't even 'sober' Nikki. This is 'I don't have even the slightest sprinkle of anything in me for the first time in ten fucking years and I'm slowly starting to lose my fucking mind just a little bit' Nikki. Now just imagine staying married to this." He explains to me and I cut my eyes. 

"Why the hell are you trying to convince me to want to divorce you?" 

"Because you told me to fucking divorce you, remember?" 

I furrow my brows. 

"The day I got home and we got into that argument and you told me to just divorce you. So I'm trying to." 

"You know that's not what I meant, Nikki." 

"What the fuck did you mean, Vivian, because you fucking said, 'just divorce me then'." 

"I didn't mean the next fucking day." 

"You're crazy." He tells me. 

"I'm crazy? I tried to throw myself off of a balcony when I thought you died and you thought it'd be a good idea to break up with me hours later?! Are you sure I'm the only crazy one?!" 

"You told me you wanted out--multiple times." 

"And you told me you loved me." 

"Oh, oh, oh, woah, woah, wait a damn minute, that was a fucking coke binge mixed with alcohol, talking."

"Wasn't much talking, just a lot of crying and begging." I point out and he shakes his head a little, rolling his jaw. "Just for you to come home and file for divorce." 

"Fuck you, Vivian."

"Fuck you, Nikki." 

We both puff up and pout, arms crossed, glaring at each other with "go to hell" looks. 

"...So?" Doc asks us when he comes back to check in on us. 

"She's still that bratty little spoiled prude that would argue with me for the hell of it that she was when I first fucking met her." He snaps. 

"And he's still Satan's evil Spawn." I bark. 

"I'm about to take you to the bathroom." He threatens me. 

"I'd rather have sex with Bret Michaels." I shoot back. 

"At the rate you're going, I believe it." 

"Do we need to talk about the threesome you had with Tansy and Vanity, now, or…?" 

"Wasn't Tansy." He states. 

"Really? Then who was it with?"

"Let's not do this here." Doc says quietly, apparently we're getting louder than we thought, other visitors and patients glancing at us uncomfortably. 

I wanna see them be married to Nikki Sixx and try to handle their shit quietly. 

"Sign the damn papers, Vivian." Nikki tells me as I stand up, grabbing my purse and scoffing. 

"You and your damn papers can go burn." I mumble to him.

"You know I'm right!" He calls after me, I just flick him off, turning my hand to him as I walk away.

When I get back to the house, I'm faced with the boxes I've got stacked and packed, groaning at the mess I've made trying to get our things sorted out--well, my things. 

"Viv?!" Sharise calls from our guest bedroom. 

"It's me!" I call back, hearing Whisky running from where she is to me. 

"Hey, baby boy." I greet him, patting his head. 

"I didn't know what to do with this," she carries down the big white box with my wedding dress in it. "And Sky's asleep, she's had a big afternoon with woof-woof." She states, using Skylar's nickname for Whisky. 

"Aww," I say and take the box from her and carry it to the dinner table. "I haven't opened this since we got married." 

"I wonder if you could still wear it." She adds and I raise my brows. 

"Hell, if I know." I mumble. "I'm not gonna need it anymore."

"Oh, don't say that." She tells me. 

"He's serious about the divorce, Sharise." I state. 

"He's gone through a lot of stuff, Viv. You both have. He's not thinking clearly." 

"Well, I am, and I don't want a freaking divorce." 

"Yeah, but that's you." She reminds me. "I'm sorry it's something you're having to go through but you don't need to be with someone that wants to leave the marriage." 

"I guess." 

"Or you two will work things out and it'll be fine." She says next, optimistic. 

"Work it out…"

I'm hunched over the toilet a week later at the house, puking my guts up, trying to take deep breaths as I think I finish, only to be met with another wave of vomit, my throat and nose burning as regurgitated stomach acid stings at it.

"Shit." I grumble to myself, taking deep breaths…

I glare at the positive pregnancy tests--the reason for my nausea, mainly. 

"Damnit, Vivian." I say to myself, tiredly, trying not to start crying.

Whisky's standing under me and I just sit on the bathroom floor and cry, hugging the dog when he gets closer to me to run his nose against my hand. 

What the hell am I going to do? What the hell am I going to tell Duff? What am I going to tell Nikki? I want him to stay with me but I'm pregnant with a baby that isn't even his. I know he knows about me and Duff, now, but a baby from it would be a constant reminder that, "hey, remember that time you and your wife fucking hated each other and she fucked Duff McKagan while you were overdosing?" 

I hit myself internally, wiping my eyes. 

I knew this was a risk, so I'm not surprised--just pissed at myself. 

I'm not on birth control, I don't like condoms, I'm lucky I don't have an STD but a fucking baby with Duff? 

What's my dad going to think? 

What's Duff's family going to think, especially if by some miracle Nikki and I do stay together...what will happen with his chance to find someone else. Most women in their 20s in L.A. don't want to play step-mom right now. 

The press will have a field day with this…

My mind shifts to Nikki's granddad.

Damn it. 

I glance at the clock that reads 1:34a.m. and let out a breath, exhausted, before opening the bathroom drawer and putting the pregnancy test in it, sniffling. 

I rummage through our cabinets for something to help me sleep, finding some NyQuil.

I decide to take it since the only reason I had a reaction to it last time was because I mixed it with my antidepressant, and I go lay down, looking at Whisky getting in beside me, laying on Nikki's side of the bed, my mind plucking at a familiar sight not too long ago.

"Where the hell is Nikki at?!" I hear Doc shout over the bustle backstage, and I furrow my brows, stopping my conversation with Tawny Kitaen--who's here with David Coverdale--as Doc looks at me. 

"You know where the fuck Sixx is?" He snaps at me. 

"No, I came with Sharise and Heather." I tell him. 

"Is Nikki even fucking here?!" He shouts next. 

"How the hell am I supposed to know, Doc?!" I yell back, getting pissed. 

"Maybe because you're his wife?" I hear someone cut in, sounding irritated, and I slowly turn around and see Bobby Dall leaned against an amp, his arms crossed. 

"Maybe lick my twat." I snap back, harshly. 

"I'm missing a fucking bassist that's supposed to go on in fifteen fucking minutes!" Doc yells over everybody, making me and Bobby shut up our bickering that's about to inevitably start. "Has anybody seen or heard anything from Nikki Sixx?!" 

We all glance at each other, not saying a word. 

"Fuck!" He outbursts, storming away to call the office back home. 

Bobby huffs out a breath and pushes past me and Tawny, while I just glare daggers into him. 

It was Day on the Green, a big music festival in Oakland, California, and on the second day, Whitesnake, Poison, and Mötley Crüe were set to perform. But once it was Mötley's turn, nobody could find Nikki. I had come with Sharise and Heather. Nikki had attempted to kick smack, again, so we all thought that's what delayed his arrival...come to find out…

"I've been up three fucking days freebasing, Tommy, alright?" He snaps to a pissed off Tommy and Vince after, "You're fucking shooting up again," leaves Tommy's lips. 

The guys are pissed off--the most pissed I've ever seen them at Nikki--and the fans, who've been waiting for nearly an unacceptable amount of time for Mötley Crüe, are bustling with impatience as Nikki steadily drinks from a bottle of Jack to bring himself down some.

He glances at me and snarls. 

"Get her outta here. I can't do shit with her looking at me like I'm dead." He snaps to Fred and I roll my jaw and leave him be.

By the time the show goes on, it's so obvious that Nikki's out of it, his eyes wide and wild, his brain fried…

Once the part of the show happens where Vince brings out bottles of Jack for Nikki and Tommy to chug on stage, I feel my eyes water, seeing Nikki scrambling to get up where he threw himself down the stage, to grab the fifth of Jack from Vince. 

He chugs half, Tommy chugs half, and when Nikki comes to grab some water to try to keep up and finish the show as strong as he can, he takes two big gulps of water and hisses a bit of it back up, coughing and hacking. 

I'm assuming he grabbed Micks straight vodka by accident. 

The show ends soon, and Nikki's slobbering drunk, looking tired and worn down. 

"I'm fuckin' going home." He tells Doc, pushing past him. "Vivian, baby, c'mon." He tells me, surprisingly gentle, slurring and taking heavy breaths. 

I think he's just that damn tired. 

"You don't want to stay and try to sober up some?" I ask him, calmly. 

"No, I just wanna go home." He repeats. 

I tell the girls and boys, 'bye,' right before Doc hammers us with when we need to be at the airport to leave for the next shows on the tour. 

I can see Nikki being bombarded with Doc, bitching him out for being late while simultaneously threatening him if he doesn't get his shit together before they do the next line of shows...his eyes growing more and more distant with each word. 

"You know how many fuckin' people you disappointed tonight, Nikki?" Doc asks him next. 

"Doc, he gets it, alright." I interrupt since Nikki's not saying anything to him. I take Nikki's hand and pull him to the door. 

"He obviously doesn't get it, Vivian." He bites at my heels, following after us. 

"I get it, you're pissed, but can we please do this another time?" I hiss, snapping around to him, glancing around at the different roadies backstage, some of the members of other bands and their girlfriends and wives looking uncomfortable with Nikki getting his metaphorical asshole torn into a million pieces by Doc. 

"You've both been saying that for the past year, Vivian, so no. We can't do this another time." Doc tells me, fed up. 

"Well, me and him are." I argue, turning back around and grabbing Nikki's arm to keep walking.  

Nikki's not even here mentally. It's like he's sedated. 

"Just go ahead and enable him, Vivian." Doc outbursts to me, still behind us with each step, and I turn and throw my fist to his face as hard and fast as I can, hearing a satisfying crack in his cheek. 

Eyes widen around us, Fred is rubbing his face as he steps to us, Tommy, Vince and Mick glaring at me...they can all think Nikki Sixx married a batshit bitch. 

I don't care anymore.

When we get on the plane Nikki flew in on, he sits down and stays quiet as I sit across from him. 

The only thing he tells me the entire hour and a half worth of flight is, "I've fucking done it again," I'm assuming in reference to messing things up. 

He locks himself in the closet when we get home, and I spend the night wide awake, staring at Whisky where he's laying on Nikki's side of the bed.

"You and me again." I say to him, reaching out and rubbing his head as he stretches.

I blink the memory back, still looking at Whisky. 

"You and me again."

#gateway drug #nikki sixx #nikki sixx x oc #nikki sixx fanfiction

[roswelldetails]

RNM 2x05 - I'll Stand By You

So just a little note from me, the person behind the season 2 detailing.  I am trying really really hard to keep emotion out of these posts...which is really really hard for me because I'm an inherently emotional person. I'm a glass case of emotion, ready to shatter at any given moment. (#dramatic)  But I want to be true to the intent of this blog and keep my feelings, biases, and, you know, shipping out of this blog.

It was really really hard to do with this episode. Because I straight up ugly cried for like, 45 of the 60 minutes. 😂

So I guess, the point is, I'm proud of myself and sticking to the details here. My regular blog is where I'm doing the emotional flip out thing! 😂

EPISODE SUMMARY:

ACCEPTING REALITY — The discovery of some complications with Max’s (Nathan Dean) pod forces Liz (Jeanine Mason), Michael (Michael Vlamis) and Isobel (Lily Cowles) to confront the possibility that they may not be able to save him. Elsewhere, Maria (Heather Hemmens) and Alex (Tyler Blackburn) make amends. Kimberly McCullough directed the episode written by Alanna Bennett & Jason Gavin (#205). Original airdate 4/13/2020. 

DETAILS:

Max/Isobel/Michael reunite at age 11 according to what Michael tells Alex in 1x10.  So that would make the opening of this episode set in 2002ish.

Michael tells Max and Isobel, "I remember you. I don't know you."

"After nobody adopted me for a year they just stuck me with the name of that trucker who found us."

"I didn't ask you for anything."

This is like the thesis statement of Michael's whole history with Max in the flashbacks.

"Don't pay more than you collect, kid. Passing credit back and forth is a good way to get stuck with somebody forever."

Rosa's art. 

What I can see says: "...what they all told me, but I didn't listen" and "Stand the shelter".

Rosa on her dreams

"I have not had any freaky dreams in weeks. Okay, Max is probably off haunting Isobel now that they're strong enough for their psychic twincest weirdness."

"How long has that been happening?"

"Um, I don't know. It's an old boom box."

"Rosa, have electrical appliances been malfunctioning around you?"

"I really thought it was just a side effect of the handprint."

"If being in the pod introduced a new protein into your system it could have altered your DNA too. You could be developing abilities."

"Liz, look. The handprint is changing.  It's smaller."

"It's fading."

"Tell me this is a good thing."

"I don't think so."

Michael and Liz theorizing on why the pod shorted out:

"The pod's got a charge. It's like a battery powering the preservation process. This one's gone dead."

"Did the generator blow the electromagnetic threshold?"

"I think a surge came from the pod itself. But that pod has lasted almost a century. It shouldn't glitch out."

"Okay, well, then, this one did."

"All right, stop. It doesn't matter why the pod is broken. It just is. So how long does Max have?"

"My theory is that being tethered to Rosa through the mark is what kept Max from going brain-dead, and in turn the stasis process is what kept the mark from fading. So he could be gone by tonight."

"Okay, well, we have three more pods. So let's just put him into another pod."

"No. He's just gonna do it again. I haven't told you everything. I didn't want to scare you. I didn't want to be the one that took the hope away."

"Talk now, Rosa. Right now."

"I was seeing Max in my nightmares months before I told you about it, and he was begging me to stop you. He said that he was in a lot of pain in there."

"That's Noah's pod. Noah told us it was broken. It wasn't keeping him in stasis. He could feel time passing. None of us thought of that."

"We've been doing everything we can to make Max stronger. He pulled his own plug."

Note...as far as we know Isobel was the only one who knew about Noah's pod being broken.  In 1x12 it was before Liz arrived at the house that he told them about the broken pod, so only Max and Isobel heard that part of the story.

Alex on his training. "NSA intelligence cryptology training".

Monitor screen in the secret lab:

Noah's heart is still too weak to transplant. Kyle says it needs at least eight more weeks

"I wrote a paper for a bioethics class on patients in vegetative states who feel pain. Sometimes it's all they feel."

As a non sciencey person, I was wondering if bioethics class was a real thing. Tonight I saw an interview on the news with a UC Berkeley bioethics professor on COVID. So yes, it's a thing.

Alex on Michael that summer post-Rosa's death:

Starting fights with jocks

Broke into the drugstore

Not going to UNM

Hasn't hung out with Max all summer

Got busted for stealing hubcaps (Kyle's hubcaps, we learn later) 

Became a walking bar fight

Was in jail when Alex left to enlist

Michael on Max in 2008:

"It's more than that. And it's less than that. We were friends when we were kids, but now Max reminds me of a bunch of stuff that I'd rather forget. The only thing that we have in common anymore is Isobel."

Max's yearbook had a pencil stuck in the page with Liz and Max's photo in it. (The one we first saw in 1x03).

"Biology Club. Max hated science. He was in that club for four years just to watch your sister chew on the end of her pencil."

Max's mindscape:

First just desert, clouds, and then lightning strikes (destructive energy?)

Liz's antennae -- they disappear from Isobel's hands

Rosa describes it as broken

Crashdown special is Max's favorite "Little Green Man milkshake".

The Crashdown counter is kind of merged with biology lab equipment. 

The juke box is there

The Crashdown booths

Jeep

Neon Crashdown sign

One of those claw drop game machines (from the Crashdown) but it's filled with baked good displays.

The yearbook

Later, everything else is gone except the one Crashdown booth, the Jeep, and the neon sign.

The distorted music they follow to find Max is the Cactus Groove song in the music list...just, messed around with. See @angsty-nerd's post here:

"I'm the hothead. You are the hero. It's always been that way."

"You stole the hubcaps off Kyle Valenti's graduation present. Both his parents are cops. Do you want to end up in jail tonight?". 

👀 Tonight, specifically. 

Michael seemed excited about the job at Foster's Ranch until he found out that Max set it up for him.  Max found out about it from his dad (only like the 2nd or 3rd mention of his dad in the series so far).

"When I got back in town I asked Max why you and your brilliant mind hadn't changed the world yet. He said you didn't care about the world enough to bother changing it. He believed you could."

Max and Isobel in the mindscape:

"You're okay. I could feel something was wrong with you.  Everything felt…"

"Cold. I know."

"You can't be here. It's finally ending.  I can feel it. But I don't know what happens if you're in my head when I die."

"So it's true? You want this?"

"I could feel my connection to the outside world getting stronger, so I snapped. I couldn't take it anymore. I released a surge. You have to let me go, Iz."

"I can't take it anymore."

"Okay."

"I am so sorry."

"I just want to memorize this."

"Okay. Okay.  I need you to tell Liz something."

"You can tell her yourself.  She and Kyle are prepping for surgery.  They're going to use the faulty heart. She just wants to talk to you before you die."

"No. No."

"You won't be suffering. They're just gonna bring you back and then let you go."

"No you have to stop this.  You cannot bring me back under any circumstances."

"Max? What is really going on?"

"I am dangerous.  Whatever Liz is bringing back is not me. It's just some broken shell."

Maria on her mom's computer 

"Her nurse said that for the two weeks before she went missing, when she wasn't trying to escape, she was talking to someone online."

The 21st birthday flashback

Isobel gets Michael to help move Max after getting drunk on tequila.  He passed out in front of the tattoo parlor. It's the same tattoo parlor Michael goes to at the end of the episode.

Max's weird drunken statement.

"The thing is, there has to be there. Okay? There's always three. Until the very end.  I'll show you...What it means is you should be here…'cause it's all broken without three. So we'll figure it out.  You'll find your way back."

👀 Until the very end. Interesting.

On Max becoming a deputy:

"You know he did the whole police academy thing because of you, right? He thinks you're gonna get into the kind of trouble you can't get out of if you don't know someone."

Back in the mindscape:

"I figured it all out. She, there's an energy to suffering, there's an energy to death, and when I heal people, I absorb that energy. So when I resurrected Rosa, I took in ten years of emptiness. So if you resurrect me, you will be bringing back an infection. Don't want… I don't want to come back as a monster. I don't want to hurt anyone that I care about."

"That's what this is about? We've been hurting, Max. We don't work without you."

"You will! You will. You are stronger now than when I died. All of you are. You, Michael, Liz, you will survive this. The three of you. No, you need to stop them, Iz. Now."

"Okay. I love you."

"You too." Isobel disappears.

Max is using pretty similar wording to his drunken rambles in the 21st birthday flashback

We don't see that Max is chained down until this next exchange with Rosa. Isobel didn't see that detail as far as we know.  Didn't hear the chains clanking when they stood and hugged. Only after Isobel left.

"I'm sorry this is happening."

"Isobel is lying. She is buying time.  You know she'll never let me go. But you can feel the darkness too, right? That's why you don't like being in my head. Because you know it's real."

"I didn't want that to be true, but yes."

"I know my sister and I know your sister and they'll never give up. So you have to be the one to stop this surgery, okay? Or I will destroy everything that we love. You have to stop them to save them. Now go.  Please, Rosa. Go."

Isobel explaining to Liz

"When he saved Rosa he absorbed all of that dark energy. He's gonna have to expel it."

"And he's afraid he's gonna kill someone when he does."

"Yeah. So we just need someone stronger than Max to take that hit...if he thinks he needs to protect us he obviously doesn't know how capable we are. Bring him back, Liz. I'll handle the rest."

"I get it now. It's gotta be the three of us."

"He would never pull his plug to end his own suffering. Unless he thought he was saving us from something. And I'm a little sick of his heroic martyr crap."

In case you missed it, Michael did not know that.  At the beginning of the hospital sequence Isobel is telling Liz what she learned in Max's mindscape and says that she hasn't been able to get ahold of Michael.  Michael figured it out on his own. He finally "got it".

The pacemaker:

Isobel with Max at the end… everything is gone except the Jeep. And Bright Eyes playing (the song he and Liz danced to on their first date back in 2008). And then his eyes close and Bright Eyes fades away.

“First thing I remember is the three of us. We woke up terrified and lost. But together. And then all of the sudden I was alone. I got real good at being alone. I had given up on people entirely. And then you found me again. Hell of hero move. You showed up just in time. When you are a kid who nobody loves, kindness is a currency. Friendship doesn’t means jack. Family just lies, and hurts, and leaves. I’ve only ever known love to be temporary. So yeah, I push people away. Every time someone threatens to care about me I test their love until they have to leave. Connection is conditional. Everybody eventually gives up on the guy who refuses to be rescued. But you were the only one who I couldn’t run off. You never believed me when I tried to be something I wasn’t. So this thing in your chest, it might give your heart a pretty solid kick every once in a while. Consider it payback. It’s my hero move, Max. If you wake up, you consider us even, okay? If you wake up, we can be a family.”

Good visual parallels during Michael's speech. Alex and Kyle drinking together during the "and then you found me again". Maria walking up on "the guy who refuses to be rescued"

Max is in the coma for three weeks.  Wakes up at the secret lab (instead of his house, which is where he was previously.  I'm guessing it was a planned wake up because he's no longer plugged into all of the IVs and whatnot.

"I begged you to understand."

"Max, it's gonna be fine."

"No… I told you to let me go. I can feel it inside me."

"It's...it's symmetry, okay? It's just energy for energy.  We can deal with that. Fight it, Max. This isn't you."

"I don't want to hurt you. I need to get out. I need to get away from you, from everyone."

"I can't let you do that."

Max shoves Isobel and runs. When he shoves her there's a slight ringing like the sound they use when the aliens use their powers.  Isobel follows and stops him with her powers.

"I made a promise that if you came back and you weren't Max, and you were actually going to hurt people that I would kill you. I figure, hey, you got to play God. Make life and death decisions all on your own. Well it's my turn now."

MUSIC:

1. Letters To Cleo "Here and Now"

2. Lady Antebellum "Love Don't Live Here"

3. Cactus Groove "Fallin"

4. James Talley "Big Thunder"

8. Ross Copperman "Stars Are On Your Side"

5. Lindsey Ray "Keep You Safe"

6. Tommee Profitt feat. Sam Tinnesz "With you Til The End"

7. Bright Eyes "First Day Of My Life"

The Cactus Groove song is the first song this season that I haven’t been able to find on Spotify… let me know if any of y’all had any luck with it!

#roswell new mexico #rnm season 2 #episode details #long post #rnm 205 #i'll stand by you

[be-the-creature-fan]

The River by be-the-creatue-fan (Read my first story AIN'T NO TIME LIKE 1969 before reading this story)

Chapter 1

"Martin? What are you doing here again? Dr. Corvado was looking everywhere for you!"

Martin turned around to see who was talking to him.

"Mom?! What are you doing here?"

"It's a good thing that we've found you in time." Linda Kratt said as she grabbed Martin arm and took Martin away from the tomb stone.

"Mom, what are you doing? where are you taking me?"

She didn't say a single word and they both continued walking until they got to the parking lot. There stood an ambulance type vehicle with several doctors and police officers that ran towards him.

"Mom? MOM! What are you doing? what's going on!?"

Linda remained silent but her eyes were starting to water up as the doctors restrained him and shoved him into the back. One of the doctors looked very familiar, Martin looked at the name tag that was on the doctors shirt. Dr Corvado.

"Aviva! Oh man it's so good to see a familiar face!"

But Aviva didn't say a word, and ignored him. Martin being very confused still tried to talk to her, but with no luck.

"Aviva it's me Martin, Me, You, Chris, Koki and Jimmy would go around the world to rescue animals. you're a genius inventor and-"

"Smith! he's speaking crazy talk again, we should probably give him the shot now."

"Alright Corvado he's your patient."

"Wait what shot? Aviva you have to listen to me we were friends you have to beli-"

And just like that Martin was out cold.

Chapter 2

(Flashback to July 20th 1973)

It was what you would call a perfect summer day, the sun was shining, the sky was blue and excitement was still in the air. Chris had just celebrated his 4th birthday and he was still hyped about being another year older, but he was even more excited to go with Martin and his older sisters to the near by river at the place where the whole family camped.

"Bill are you sure Chris is old enough to go with them to that river?"

"Linda, of course he's old enough, they're going to the shallow part of the river, and plus I'll be close by incase the kids need anything."

"Oh alright, have fun you guys!"

As Bill, Martin, his sisters and Chris got closer to the river the more excited Chris became.

"Martin are we there yet?"

"It's going to be awhile until we get there, but don't worry we'll be in there in no time"

But Chris wasn't the most patient kid and decided to run ahead.

"Now Chris don't run to far ahead yah hear!" Bill called out.

"I won't!"

After a while of walking and running they finally made it to the river, only to find it flooded from the storm the night before.

"Welp, looks like we can't go swimming gang"

"WHAT!? But why Daddy?" Chris winned

"Well you see squirt, the river is over flooded, it's too dangerous to go swimming, but, it's not to dangerous to go berry picking" Bill said as he pointed towards some blackberry bushes. "Doesn't that sound like fun?"

"Uh I guess" Chris said a little disappointed.

So Martin, his sisters and Chris started picking blackberries close to the river as Bill went fishing just up river not to far from them.

"Man it's hot outside, I'm gonna cool off in the river"

"But Martin, Daddy said to not go in the river because it's to dangerous" Chris said

"Yea, he said it was dangerous for you because your to little"

"I'm not too little, I just turned 4!"

"Yea, and I'm 7 almost 8, I'm technically a man, and I'm old enough to go into the river if I want to."

Chris didn't take that to kindly and wanted to prove that he wasn't the little kid that everybody thought he was. When no one was watching he decided that's when he would make his move to go into the river.

"Chris what are you doing?" Susan said (one of the twin sisters)

Chris didn't respond as he jumped into the river. Chris underestimated the depth and power of the river as he was swept away by the strong current.

"MARTIN! Chris jumped in the river!" "He's getting carried down river!"Both Christine and Susan screamed.

Martin turned around to see Chris's head pop out for a split second, before the current pulled it back down.

"Susan! Go and get Dad! Me and Christine will try to get Chris out!"

Susan ran to get Bill as Martin got out of the river because even he knew that the current was to strong for him.

"MARTIN! HELP ME! *GASP* MOMMA ,PAPA *GASP* SAVE ME!...... save me....." Chris's head went under again.

"CHRIS! NOOOOO!"

(A few hours later)

Mr and Mrs. Kratt, we've found your son's body down river and I regret to inform you that your son didn't make . We are so sorry for your lost. we need-....................................

Martin and his sisters were sitting inside the trailer, he could hear his mom screaming in agony, he looked out the window to see them both crying. That's when Martin knew, but that's not how it was happen, Chris didn't die, he couldn't have died, he didn't die, he didn't die, he didn't die!

(Back in Present day)

Martin woke up to find himself in what seemed to be some sort of jail cell.

"Martin, you awake?"

"Jimmy? Is that you?"

Chapter 3

"Jimmy! Oh my gosh I'm so glad you're here! Where is here anyways"

"We're in some sort of insane esylem, but that's all I know because HOW ON EARTH DID WE GET HERE!!!"

"What is the last thing you remember?"

"Well, I was asleep in the Tortuga and the next thing I heard was sombody screaming and when I woke up I ended up here. I saw Aviva but for some reason she didn't respond, it was like she didn't recognize me"

"Wait do you remember Chris being alive?"

"Yea why wouldn't he be alive...unless. What happened while I was asleep?"

Martin explained what had happened to him, Chris's gravestone. the strange dream and how Aviva treated him on his way to the esylem.

"Oh my gosh...OH MY GOSH!"

"Jimmy what is it?"

"Its all wrong, this wasn't supposed to happen, when Chris went to the past, something happened that messed up the space time continuum."

"Well, how are we going to fix it?!"

"I-I don't know, its going to be hard to find the cause of how or what caused this to be our new reality. Time is very complicated stuff."

"Wait, how do you know about this stuff?"

"Martin, I don't just sleep, eat pizza and play video games all day. I usually subcaunsely listen to what Aviva and Koki talk about when it comes to complicated things like time trampolines and such."

"Oh"

"Hey Cell 37! SHUT UP!"

Martin and Jimmy turned to see one of the guards banging his fist on thier cell door. Then they saw the shadows of two other faceless figures before the door opened.

"I don't know how you escaped this time, but we'll make sure that it doesn't happen again yah hear?" The first person said

Martin and Jimmy were very confused as the 2nd figure walked in. Aviva walked in with a huge syringe. That was the last thing both Martin and Jimmy remembered.

Chapter 4

Martin and Jimmy were laying on their bunks. Numb, Cold, Afraid, their heads were pounding and they both were uncontrollable twitching. Martin's eyes began to water from the pain that he felt. Jimmy on the other hand felt anger and rage, his blood began to boil. Jimmy jumped from his bunk and ran to their cell door.

"YOU HEARTLESS SWINE!!! WE'RE NOT THE CRAZY ONES, YOU'RE THE CRAZY BIT-"

"Jimmy?" Martin said with a weak voice. "Was Chris ever alive? Or was I just crazy this whole time?"

"No, Martin, your not crazy, we're not crazy, Chris was alive. He was alive..."

The Next few days were rough for Jimmy and Martin as their hope began to dwindle. Martin kept having the same nightmares of his brother's death as well as having the same horrible dream of him just disappearing from existence like what he had originally witnessed, as the days passed it was getting harder to believe what was true. Jimmy was also going through a rough time. He still felt utterly betrayed by Aviva and missed Koki dearly.

"I wonder where Koki is?"

"Who knows." Martin said kind of miffed

"You know I loved her, right? I-I wanted to tell her how I felt...b-but I was always too chicken, a-and now I might never get the chance."

"Well sucks to be you. At least Koki might be alive somewhere, but guess what, Chris is dead and everyone thinks I'm a looney!"

Jimmy fell silent as he was to angry to say a word.

Weeks turned into months and not a word was spoken.

Until one day Martin overheard a conversation.

"I think I did it!"

"Did what Ms Corvado?"

"Well, for the past couple of years I've been working on a time machine and now I've think I've done it!"

"So she has been working on a time machine" Jimmy said kind of miffed.

"But what good would that do" Martin said feeling rather hopeless "it not like we can fix any of this, or can we..."

(Meanwhile with Chris)

Martin, that was the last thing Chris saw before he felt as if he was drowning. Fear was the last feeling that Chris had before he dissapeared into the abyss.

"Wh-Where am I?"

But the only response he got was an echo. His surroundings were white at first before becoming more clear. The first thing that came into focus was the green grass and the surrounding tombstones, soon more things came into focus he spotted Martin standing infront of one of the tombstones.

"Martin!" Chris yelled as he ran towards his brother to embrace him, but he went right through him.

Martin didn't hear him, he couldn't hear him, he couldn't feel him, Chris was nothing more than a soul.

(I'm putting this story on hold I am so sorry for leaving this on a cliff hanger I just need to think how I'm going to continue the story because honestly I ran out of ideas. Oop)

#wild kratts #kratt brothers #chris kratt #martin kratt #why am i doing this #please help me #major oof

[haddonfieldproject]

<<PREVIOUS⏺<<CONTENTS>>

1.2.25 SATURDAY NOVEMBER 1st, 7:17 AM

Haddonfield, Illinois

“Oh my God I feel so much better!” Ophelia Tate said, leaning her seat back with a groan.

“Totally,” Jack seconded, pulling the station wagon into the parking lot of a Liberty Burger fast-food chain. “It's amazing how a shower can wake you up too, I hardly feel like I was up all night at all.”

He pulled the car into the drive-thru lane and rolled down the window.

“Now we can go check out the hospital first, and then sleep the rest of the day.” Ophelia said, sitting up straight to look over the menu board.

“So you’re saying taking a shower at the Truck Stop was a good idea?” Jack smiled.

“Maybe,” Ophelia rolled her eyes.

Jack threw his hands up in exasperation. “Come on? Can’t I get some credit?!”

“Even a broken clock is right twice a day,” Ophelia smirked

“Welcome to Liberty Burger, can I take your order?!” The speaker below the menu board squawked.

“Hold on one second,” Jack called out, rolling his eyes at his wife. He turned to his son, who was sitting in the back with his ear-buds in again. “Damon, do you want anything?”

“Not from here,” he groaned.

“Well here is where we are so if you want anything to eat for breakfast, here is where it's coming from.” Jack replied and looked at his wife. “Thanks babe. Do you know what you would like?”

“Number six,” she answered, “no cream or sugar for the coffee, I don't want to be too jittery when I meet all of the staff.”

“Okay,” Jack called out to the speaker, and then he looked back at his son, “Damon?”

Damon rolled his eyes, “I guess an egg and cheese biscuit is fine.”

“Go ahead with your order,” the speaker barked.

“Do you want OJ to drink?” Jack asked his son.

“What time is it?” Ophelia asked, she picked up her phone and swiped to see if it had gotten enough charge yet to turn the thing on.

Nope...still dead.

“Fine,” Damon sighed.

“It's close to half passed seven,” Jack said to his wife and then leaned toward the speaker, “OK I'll have a number six combo...”

“What to drink with that?”

“Coffee please.”

“Cream and sugar for the coffee?”

“No thank you.”

“Okay.”

“I'll have a number eight, no combo, I don't want any hash browns.”

“OK.what else?”

“And I'll have a number four combo.”

“What to drink with that?”

“Orange juice.”

“OK..anything else?”

“I'd like another small OJ please.”

“OK..anything else?”

“No, that's it.”

“16.42, please drive around to the first window.”

🎃

Jack did, and before long they were cruising in town, munching on their fast food breakfast.

“I wish it wasn't still raining so hard, we could see the town better.” Jack said.

“It's pretty though,” Ophelia said, “look there's a post office.”

“Whole town looks like a Norman Rockwell painting,” Jack said.

“Who?”

“Norman Rockwell...he's got all the paintings in the doctors' offices, I'd figure you'd know who he is.”

Ophelia shook her head and pointed to her right. “That's like the tenth church we've driven by.”

“You know the one of the kid who's looking over his doctor's degree while taking off his pants because he's about to get a shot in the ass?” Jack asked.

“Oh yeah, I love that one, it's cute” Ophelia answered.

“That's Norman Rockwell.”

“This is the turn right?”

“Yep,” Jack answered, flicking the turn signal on and turning left at a traffic light with a green sign that read: OLD RESERVOIR RD E.

On the right they passed a LITTLE EGYPT CREDIT UNION. It has an electronic sign with a marquee. The letters on the sign read:

HUSKERS HOME THIS SAT

...and then changed again...

VS WCHS ‪730P‬

Ophelia was reading the sign when Jack tapped her shoulder. He was pointing to the left. There was a white sign that read C.R. 4679, as in the designation for the county road, and next to it, one of those familiar blue signs with the big white H, under which was an arrow pointing up.

“The hospital is right up here, we'll be there in a sec.” Jack said.

Ophelia pulled the sun visor down and looked at her face in the mirror, inspecting her bleary looking eyes, she saw Damon dozing in the back seat with his ear-buds in. She turned around and smacked his knee. His eyes opened.

“Take those things out of your ears we are---”

“Whaaa?” He interrupted, taking the ear bud out of his left ear.

“Turn that off, we are almost there.” She said.

“There's the cemetery,” Jack pointed across Ophelia toward the left.

Damon and Ophelia looked that way. Indeed there was a cemetery

REINCOURT ACRES, a sign read.

“That's one spooky ass cemetery,” Damon said quietly.

“Language,” Ophelia hissed.

“It's only because of the rain and fog,” Jack said.

“It's pretty creepy,” Ophelia agreed. “Bet you could catch a ghost or too in there.” She added.

“Whole damn place is a ghost town,” Damon said.

Ophelia laughed at the pun in spite of herself, “Language,” she said simply.

“It's small, nice, and away from everything,” Jack remarked, looking at Damon in his rear-view mirror, “Which will be good for you.”

Damon rolled his eyes.

“There's the hill,” Ophelia said, pointing straight ahead, “and a sign.” She was referring to the fact that the road they were traveling on took a sharp right turn, disappearing behind the bluff of a steep and rocky hill. A gravel road cut to the left, essentially forming a T-junction. A white rectangular sign with a black arrow and black lettering pointed to the left reading: FRENCHLICK RESERVOIR.

Under that was a blue sign with white lettering and an arrow pointing to the right reading: HADDONFIELD CO GEN HOSP.

Below that was a yellow diamond with a black arrow pointing to the right, under which was another rectangular yellow sign with black letters reading: CAUTION SHARP TURN 15 MPH.

Jack let off the gas and pointed to the left. “Apparently, from what I read online, the old reservoir down there for which this road was named dates back to when all of this was a French colony back in the---”

“JACK WATCH OUT!!” Ophelia screamed.

This was followed quickly by a gasp from Damon, “What...the...fuck!”

Jack and Ophelia didn't bother this time to correct their son's language.

Jack stood on the brakes. The car skidded for a few feet on the wet asphalt and came to an abrupt halt about twenty yards from the turn.

A woman...or maybe a young girl, was walking---staggering to be more exact--in the middle of the road. The rain matted her hair over her face, and also soaked through what looked like a hospital gown. It was so saturated in fact that it had become essentially see-through, and in the soft gray morning light, the red of her nipples was visible as well as the dark patch of her pubic hair. One of her arms was in some kind of metal brace and cast which gleamed in the light of the station wagon's headlights. Her other arm was covered in blood, which ran down the side of her bluish gray skin, and dripped from her fingertips.

“Oh my God,” Ophelia breathed. The figure looked very much like a ghost.

Ophelia opened the door and hopped out. Jack un-clicked his seat-belt and opened his door as well. “Stay here,” he said to Damon.

“Yeah right,” Damon replied, and opened his door also.

“Ma'am!?” Ophelia bellowed. The girl had no reaction except which to stagger to one side suddenly, seeming that she was about to fall over unto the wet road but she corrected herself, swaying momentarily the other way before righting. They could hear she was muttering something.

Ophelia reached her first. “Ma'am what is your name?” She reached out to her hesitantly. The girl was young—older teenager. Her face was busted up pretty bad, her nose most likely broken and it had already been set and bandaged, but the rain was peeling some of the bandage off now. There was bruising around the eyes suggesting it had happened some time before. Ophelia put her hand on her shoulders and the girl stopped walking. Jack splashed up beside her, followed by Damon.

“She must have escaped the hospital!” Jack called out.

No shit, Ophelia thought, “Ma'am, do you know where you are?”

The girl had stopped walking, but she kept muttering, but now they could hear what she was saying.

“We blew his ass up....we burned his ass....he's on fire but he's still walking...burn fucker...burn...”

Ophelia felt a tightening in her chest. She reached down and lifted the girl's right wrist with her left hand, it was the one with the brace and cast. The hospital band was wrapped around her forearm above the brace but the rain had smeared all of the lettering, she couldn't make anything out.

“These damn county-fried doctors!” Jack began, “They never know how much shit they're giving these patients. First thing you're gonna need to do Ophelia is monitor their...” he stopped suddenly, cocking his head to one side. “Wait. Do you smell smoke?”

“...blew his ass up....burned that fucker....still walking towards me though...just won't die....”

Damon sniffed, “Totally...and look!”

Ophelia took a whiff too. Definitely smoke.

She looked up to where Damon was pointing. Straight ahead from the direction the girl had been coming.

At first it looked kind of like fireflies, dancing out from behind the steep bluff of the hill. Damon took off running towards them, his father followed. Ophelia didn't need to follow to know what they were, she had seen a sight like that before when she had been working a forest fire outside of Woodsboro, California about two years before.

Embers.

Ophelia looked over the girl's hand. It was all tore up, broken fingers, a broken wrist, her pinky fingertip looked like it had been surgically re-attached. All of the wounds that had been stitched were oozing blood, suggesting she had gotten quite a workout with the arm since it had been patched up. She looked at her legs. Her knees were scraped up, and the front of her gown was filthy, as if she had crawled through the mud on her belly.

“Can you tell me your name?” She tried again. The girl still muttered.

“kept coming....even when he was on fire....I hope the fucker burns...we blew his ass up...”

“Holy shit!” Jack called out.

Damon and Jack had come around the hill. There---just as the maps and the descriptions on the internet had told them---about four hundred yards away and across a gated parking lot, was the hospital.

Or what was left of it.

It was a white rectangular building, pretty typical of any hospital in any town in America. At the top of the building, spanning it's face in blue lettering read: HADDONFIELD COUNTY-GENERAL MEDICAL CENTER. In the front center of the building was a large overhang marked with red lettering that read: EMERGENCY.

Below that you would assume to see the front doors of a lobby or annex of some kind. Instead, Damon and Jack saw a jagged hole, as if a bomb had exploded there. Out of the hole spit the flames of the most hellish inferno the two of them had every seen. Thick black smoke rose up out of the hole as well as out of some of the broken windows nearest to the front entrance. The parking lot was void except for two or three cars. Not an ambulance or fire truck to be seen. The two could actually feel the heat from the fire hitting their faces, even though they were so far away.

“Do you have your phone?” Jack asked his son, raising his voice over the relentless sound of the rain.

“It's in the car!” He yelled back.

“Go call ‪911‬!” his dad exclaimed.

Damon turned and sprinted back around the hill.

When he came in full view of the car, and his mom, and the young lady she was trying to talk to, whose bare ass he could now see hanging out of her sopped hospital gown, he held up. In the far distance beyond them, he could see the lights of a firetruck.

Two firetrucks..and maybe a police cruiser.

He began to hear the siren as well. They were coming towards them.

Ophelia squeezed the young girl's shoulders. “Honey, I can't help you if you don't tell me your name!” She said more firmly.

The girl's eyes settled on Ophelia's face for a moment, then rolled up into the back of her head. She tossed her head back and bellowed, “STOP FOLLOWING ME YOU MOTHER-FUCKER!”

Ophelia's heart skipped a beat.

Damon caught his breath.

The sirens grew louder.

Ophelia felt the girl go weak at the knees and she caught her, moving her hands down to hold her up by the armpits. “Whoa...easy.” She said.

The girl tossed her head back again and screamed a second time—- a blood curdling scream that slowly morphed into a wrack of cries and sobs.

NEXT>>

[myguccifiedwig]

•° In a tribe, 1270. °•

She's walking around the tribe, fulfilling her duty as a leader and making sure everything is going where it must be, pushing down every ounce of pain from the past month and letting life do its thing. Something like that.

"Mrs. Diana!"

She heard from her back. Oh god, what now?

"Hey! Um, how have you been?" The combatants' leader, Timothy, said with his best friend, Ben, at his heels.

"Um, could be worse," She replied truthfully, "how's the training going? Hopefully our little heroes are gaining their strength!"

"Oh, yeah, they're doing wonderfully! Big men, they are," He said, almost... Guardedly?

Her suspicions were answered when Tim started scratching the back of his neck and gave a quick glance at Ben, who hasn't spoken a word, Diana noticed.

"Um, are you free at the moment?" Tim asked slowly.

She looked at him quizzically before answering, "I'm just walking around, so, yes,"

"We have somewhere we want to take you," this time it was Ben who spoke up, "have to,"

"Oh..." She studied their faces for a second. Tim and Ben were um... Louis' best friends. Her now dead husband. Ex husband. Who no one knows where his corpse is, some believing that he was burnt to ashes while on a mission, which... Isn't something she necessarily likes to think about. They only found his ring, which she has now worn every single day of those two months of him being gone.

She trusts Tim and Ben. How could she not? They're what she likes to think as what she has left from Louis. So she follows her heart.

"Um, alright," she nods to herself and snaps up at them, "yeah, where do you want to take me?"

Timothy looks around with a serious look on his face before turning back to her, "We kind of can not tell you, you'll have to find out for yourself,"

"Should I be worried...?" She started getting very suspicious.

"We really have no time, this is really important, just get yourself and your horse ready, we're leaving in ten minutes," Tim excludes impatiently and throws his giant axe, that she has no idea how he lifts, over his shoulder and the two start walking towards horse stable.

She's left staring after them before she sighs,

"Okay..."

••••••••••••••••••••

"Guys, we have been on the road for three hours, where the fuck are you taking me?!"

She's getting impatient, if you can't tell.

"Nearly there, Di, just be patient," Ben answers with another frustrated sigh.

"Since when have I been So?!" She furrows her eyebrows at him.

"Louis never told me how annoying you are..." Ben whispers.

"Hey!" She quickly got riled up, "he-"

"we're here!" Timothy announces loudly, cutting them off.

"Um..." Diana looks around confusedly, "where?"

They ignore her question and get off their horses, to which she huffs exasperatedly before following their steps.

They tie their horses to a tree before Timothy turns to her.

"This is it, just go inside that cave over there." He points to where it is exactly.

"What, why?! Where are you guys going?!" She stares at them incredulously.

"Can you just go already?" Ben asks fake-sweetly.

She glowers at him before turning to Timothy, who was watching them tiredly before talking.

"we'll be right out here, we're not going anywhere."

"How do I know I'm not going to be killed?"

"Because you trust us,"

"No, I don't"

"What's going on here?"

A new voice joins in.

Ben grins, Diana freezes.

"Hey, man, she's right here. Tough to handle, that one is, don't know how you do it," Ben comments.

She doesn't have time to think of a comeback because the laugh she hears is so familiar.

So, so familiar.

She abruptly turns around and stares.

"Who is that?" She asks slowly. "Stop fucking with me, why am I here?"

"What do you mean, you don't know who that is?" It was Ben's turn to be confused.

She is fuming.

"You guys brought me all the way here, just to make me see a man who looks like my dead fucking husband? For what? Do you even know how cruel it is to-"

"Dee," The man frowns, "It's me, Louis,"

She looks around at everyone and tears pool in her eyes.

"Get away from me, who is this, it's not fair to play with someone's feelings like that,"

The guy finally comes close enough for her to see his features. Man, he looks just like Lou, she thinks.

She shakes her head and takes a step back when he got too close for her liking.

"Who are you?" She steadily keeps the eye contact.

A hand on her shoulder abruptly shakes her out of her trance, and she turns around to see Tim's pitying eyes,

"Trust him, trust us,"

She looks back ahead distrustfully and doesn't move when the man takes another step closer.

Not when he gets close enough to raise his hand and caress her cheek carefully.

To the point where she got cross eyed trying to keep eye contact.

"Figured it out yet?" He whispers.

She feels woozy.

Her once confused teary expression turns into an angry one in a split second and she abruptly moves away.

"You... How could you?!" She's mad.

"You made me think you were dead... You made us think you were dead! You know how much crying I've done these past two months?! They've all been for absolutely nothing! My heart feels like it's torn in half you bloody dick!" She gives his chest a strong push to express her anger even further.

"You have to listen to me, Dee, just give me a chance to-"

"You think you have the right?! I've been trying to manage double the work all on my own while you're hanging out in your bloody cave?!"

He sighs frustratedly.

"No, I've not just been hanging out in here, there's a lot to explain, just... Can I just hug you? I missed you an awful lot,"

Her face falls and she stands there limply before hugging him tightly, "of course I missed you, I just really hate you right now,"

He laughs and kisses the crown of her head before she adds, "But like, you told them but didn't tell me?! I have no idea how you even like that Ben guy, he's insufferable!"

"Hey, I'm right here!" Ben crosses his arms and huffs, but Tim was too busy grinning at the scene while patting Ben's back a little too hard.

"Let's go inside, there's a lot to explain to this feisty one," Louis smiles and beckons all of them inside.

"Nah, I'm saying here, I'm not gonna be close to her any longer," Ben refuses.

"We'll just go back, you guys make up for the missed time," Tim winks at Louis unsubtly, to which he laughs at.

"Alright, lads, see you tonight," He waves them good-bye while Diana stands there confused.

"Tonight?"

"Get inside, I have to clarify a lot of things."

•••••••••••••••••••••

"So they basically left my ring to make you guys believe I'm dead, which would obviously cause havoc,"

"I know we're in war, but... What do they get from that?"

"Me,"

She snorted, "Yeah, 'cause you're the best one out there, huh?"

He made an affronted noise and hit her shoulder jokingly, "You make me sound so selfish,"

She laughed at him and gestured for him to continue from her place next to him on the ground.

"They um..." He raised his right hand, "did this,"

She reached out to hold his bandaged hand but immediately retracted it when he winced.

"What did they do?" She frowned.

"Um..." He hesitated for a moment, "it doesn't matter,"

"Lou," she looked at him pointedly.

"They hit a nail into the middle of my palm," he squeezed his eyes and said it in one quick breath.

It was silent for a while.

"What...?" Tears pooled in her eyes as she picked up his hand, a lot more gingerly this time, "Lou, that's... I can't imagine that, I don't want to,"

He sighed, "You really wouldn't,"

"When was it?" She asked after giving it a little peck.

"About... Three weeks ago? I still need to reach out to Chris to make me something that can help me hold a sword without it hurting, that's Ben's mission for today, trying to get him to get him all this stuff without him knowing I'm still alive,"

"Why are you still hiding, love? I don't see the point,"

"I'm running away from them, still, I kind of escaped from the place with the help of another victim, they might have attacked the entire tribe if they knew I was there," he explained.

"Right..." She sighed.

He leaned his head back against the wall and smiled warmly at her.

"You okay?"

"I missed you..." She looks up at him, "Your mum is heartbroken, you sisters, everyone is, they think our tribe is going nowhere with just me in charge,"

"I know it could've went just fine if I were to pass away,"

"Shut up," she looked up from his hand on her lap to look him in the eye, "don't mention you dying anymore, I hate it,"

"Okay," he smiles before turning a little more sad, "and uhm, about my family, I miss them a whole lot and I feel so bad for doing this, but I can't have you telling anyone just yet. We need to keep this a secret until the coast is clear, we're going to attack their base tonight, Ben, Tim and I,"

"With this hand?!" She looked at him like he had two heads, "Lou, you can't just hold a sword with it,"

"I really wanna go home as soon as possible," he looked at her guiltily, "it's why Ben's getting me something to keep my hand in tact,"

"And if it doesn't work?"

"I... Guess I'll have to wait until it's safe to hold a sword,"

She thought silently for a moment and made a decision.

"I'll go instead of you,"

"What?! No! No way! This is my problem, I'm gonna fix it!"

"Ours, love, ours. I do know how to use a sword, you know that right?! It's what made you fall for me," she smiles.

"I fell for you because of so many things," he says, "either way, no,"

"It's safer, Lou, they don't know who I am, we could finish them off and none of them would know we're with you,"

"I made up my mind, it's a no," he looked to his side with a serious look on his face.

She sighed.

••••••••••••••••••••

"Alright, stay safe,"

"You're one to say,"

He sighs.

"I promise, we just need to finish off the big guy," he makes quotes with his hands, "then I'll be right back home,"

Her expression softens, "promise?"

"pinky promise," he loops his pinky around hers, a small gesture at which makes both of them smile wide.

"Horses are ready!"

"That's my cue, I guess," she gives him a disappointed smile.

He gives her forehead a small peck just because.

"Love you, don't do anything stupid," he gives her an accusatory finger but quickly retracts it because of course she's going to try to bite it.

"Love you more," she gives him a lopsided smile behind her back and heads off home with Ben and Tim, much to her dismay.

An hour into the trip, she turns to Ben.

"Hey, Ben?"

He keeps looking ahead, "Hm?"

"I want to ask something,"

"As long as it's not about tonight, sure,"

"Well..." She trails off, "what if it is?"

"Then I wouldn't really answer your question, anyway,"

"Ben," she whines, "I could help,"

"Louis gave us strict orders not to talk to you about it," he recites sternly.

"Look, I won't come on my own, I'm not that stupid," she explains, "I'll gather a good amount of combatants and we'll come as reinforcement,"

He seems to consider it for a moment, "I don't know..."

"Just tell me the base number, I promise, I won't do anything dumb," she insisted.

"Main base," he says after a moment and purses his lips when Tim gives him an unsure look, "Main base, just... Please don't get us in trouble for this,"

"You really think the three of you could attack a whole base? The main base? With Louis's fucked up hand?"

"We talked to him about it, stubborn as a mule, he is," Ben mutters.

She laughs knowingly, "The one trait we share,"

"Don't know how the two of you get along so well,"

"I still have no idea,"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

"You ready lads?" Louis announces.

"We sure are," Tim answers, "How're you and your hand doing?"

"Not the best," he purses his lips and tries to stretch his fingers out, "But we can do this, we have to,"

"Lou, you said you'd wait if it weren't healed enough," Tim tries, "you know this won't be easy,"

"It's not impossible to use it, so we're going for it," Louis becomes impatient, "I miss my tribe, gotta get back to my people,"

Tim sighs and heads towards his horse, "yeah, alright,"

He really hopes Diana stays to her word.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••

"Alright, most of them are asleep, we can take them guards down," Louis whispers to his friends from where they're crouching down behind some bushes.

"What happens after that?" Ben whispers back.

"We just have to get to Noah's tent and do what we have to do,"

"Wow, great plan, Lou," Ben deadpans, "we won't kill him in his sleep, right?"

"If we have to, yeah, but I'd prefer not to either,"

"Alright," Tim looks at both of them, "Ben and I will take those two down, they're blocking the main entrance. We take them down and get in disguise with their clothes, it'll make it easier for us to blend in,"

"That's what I call a plan!" Ben grins.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," Louis waves them off, "Just do everything without me,"

"You can't fight with this hand Lou," Tim explains quietly, "you will if we need you to, yeah?"

"Yeah, now go, we have no time,"

Ben and Tim share a nod and approach the guards from each side, elbowing the backs of their necks and succeeding in making them pass out.

They go through the process of changing into their clothes and hiding their bodies before turning back to Louis.

"We don't know what to expect behind that gate," Tim points out.

"We'll just have to find out, then," Louis stands up.

"Wait!" Ben grabs him behind, "You can't just get in like that, you don't even have the clothes on, they're gonna recognise straight away,"

"Right..." He realises, "Well you go in before me, I suppose, and call for me when the coast is clear,"

They nod before finally standing up and going inside.

It's been five minutes. Louis counted. He's worried.

That's why he stands up and peeks behind the gate doors.

"So what might two Turkish idiots want from a place like this, huh?"

Ben and Tim are cornered. Fuck.

"Answer me!"

"I'm not saying a word,"

"Now's not the time to act all heroic, Tim, please, you literally could've made up a good lie right here,"

Louis sighs. Idiots.

And so he does what a fellow idiot would do and joins them inside. They pretty much have nothing to lose, literally every guard is there.

He steps inside and immediately grabs all the attention, but what grabs all of his is the person standing on the side that he didn't see.

"Well, well, well, look who we have here,"

He narrows his eyes, "Noah,"

A guard grabbed him straight away and there he stood next to his friends with a sword to his neck. This isn't going well.

"I sometimes really question you Turks' stupidity, and honestly, this answers my question," Noah grins and steps forward until he's right in front of Louis, to the point where Louis had to cross his eyes to look at him.

"How dare you dishonour my people like that," Louis glares at him the best he could, considering the proximity of their faces.

Instead of an answer, Louis receives a kick to his stomach.

"How's you hand?" Noah smirks.

"Shut up," Louis just focuses on not crying out loud from the pain.

Noah takes a step back to pick Louis's limp hand covered in iron and laughs loud, "Wow, so efficient,"

He drops it to the floor next to where Louis is sat, which causes it to start throbbing bad.

It doesn't help that he steps on it after that. Louis screams from the agonising pain.

"Tie them to the gallows!" Noah walks back and forth, "It's been a while since we've had a party,"

Louis thinks hears everyone cheer, but he's too busy focusing on the crippling pain while being dragged to the bloody gallows.

••••••••••••••••••

"Fast guys, we have no time to waste! Tie you horses to the trees and move fast!"

Diana manages to gather thirty combatants I'm total without getting caught, although her mother in law was a bit suspicious.

"Where have you been dear? I haven't seen much of you today,"

"I have some work to do outside the tribe, I'll be back before you know it!"

She didn't actually lie, did she?

She's worried sick. They're forty minutes late for the time Tim and Ben gave her, and the possibilities are endless.

"Go, go, go!" She whisper-yells and beckons them on by one to surround the different gates and be ready to get inside as one.

She looks around to check, but she doesn't see anyone outside. That's not necessarily a good thing.

She sighs and turns to everyone around her.

"On the count of three, and soon as I put my hand into a fist, everyone with swords is going to jump out behind me and get in there. The ones with bows are gonna stay behind the bushes to cover us, have we got a deal?"

Everyone nods. That's enough, she guesses.

"Three... Two... One... Go!"

And the mission starts.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

All three of them are tied to gallows. How did they reach this point.

"The one and only, Louis William Tomlinson, the hero of the Turkish empire! Tied to gallows," Noah walks back and forth and Louis's eyes follow his moves coldly, "All because of me!"

Louis turns to his boys to find them watching the entrance nervously. Weird.

"Psst,"

"Hm?" Tim hums back.

"You waiting for someone? You didn't tell anyone did you?"

Tim snorts, "I wish I did,"

"Then-

Louis was cut off by Noah's words.

"Why let's start," He gets close to Louis's face again, always gets on his nerves, "shall we?"

Everyone cheers and Louis swallows nervously. Guess it was the right thing to make them think he was dead, then.

Pull! Pull! Pull! Pull!

He pulled.

He was losing consciousness. This was it, then.

Except, was it?

He saw... A flying sword?

He's definitely dying.

Cut.

In one swift move he falls to the ground with a thud.

"Go!"

What is going on?

He looks up to see Tim cutting the rope around his neck hastily with a knife and in seconds he felt the relief of it being off his neck.

He looked up and blinked a few times to try and figure out what's going on, and god damn it, that little shit.

He grins.

"Lou? You alright?"

"Yeah, Tim, I'm good, let me just," he tries to stand up, but putting the weight of his body on his hand failed him miserably as he fell right back to the ground, "yeah,"

"I'm gonna carry you out of here, just wait for us to be done with this, we'll be done in no time,"

"No!" Louis refuses, "no, I wanna help, just... Just help me up, please?"

"I don't think-"

"Fucking lift me up, Timothy, I chose to be here and I'm gonna fight,"

Tim sighs after a moment and helps him up.

"Please don't make me regret this,"

"You won't," Louis assures while looking at the scene in front of him with dark eyes. He missed this.

He opens and closes his hand around his sword handle, he can do this.

One last breath, and he's pulling it out of its scabbard.

And he fights. He kills two people but his hand feels tired so he stands to rest it, but-

"Watch out!"

He looks ahead and that same flying sword comes hitting a guy's skull.

[clumsyclifford]

hello my dearest bella 💕 (please go to bed instead of reading this and yes as far as i'm aware shawn mendes is friends with 5sos) okay firstly i'm really glad that your happy playlist is fulfilling its purpose 🙈 also how've you been? did you have a good week? (i hope your math test went well btw) did you drink and eat enough? how are things in general? i feel like i haven't checked in on you properly in too long 🙈

oh and yes very much so i just can't stand illusion at all but like i don't even know why 😅

i'm very sorry you cried but then again crying can be so helpful but anyway i hope things are looking up by now

well for me thursdays are really Not It at all. they're really rough at work bc we have that thing where we talk to every patient and it's a lot so that's just not fun. also destiel. what a topic. can't believe 16 year old me invested so much emotion into that show just to be treated like this now

okay lastly i've listened to a couple of songs from the one line takes you out playlist (mostly some that i already knew and i'll work myself through the rest slowly) and spoiler this changed from me guessing which line is responsible for getting the song onto the playlist to just telling you my fav lines real fucking quick but well maybe those two things overlap we'll see

story of another us i'm thinking maybe "drowning, beside you where i'll be to remind you we're still first in line for the front row of last resorts" or "i got a long term plan with short term fixes and a wasted heart that just eclipses" but simply bc i love those two

the quiet oh damn this one has so many 😅 my own fav is "i'd rather be spitting blood than have this silence fuck me up" but "say anything, anything hurts less than the quiet" is so so relatable to me so it always hits intensely as weell but it is also the chorus and i don't think that counts as one line and i think maybe "now i'm left here in the dust with the taste of broken trust" could be a taking out line but really i think in this song it could be every single line and i'd be like yeah i get it

san francisco so as i said this really is just me telling you my fav lines "drove into infinity, i held you 'til you fell asleep"

special listen that one's a challenge bc it's just. a song full of lines that take me personally out. all of them. even more so than the quiet. however "on your hands and your knees do you feel in charge? crawling back to who you were" & "i just wanna wake up put a smile on my face that isn't made up" absolutely murder me each time. (or possibly "when do i become who i am?", the entire chorus, "am i the one on the thrown or a wannabe?", "where's the time go? here comes a heavy low")

cynic this entire song is an attack. but nothing more than "i miss the days when one was better than the last" (or maybe one of these: "i cried at the rain, but there's no way that I'm depressed", "if i think too hard i'm scared i might lose it", "leave it to life to turn my strengths back into weaknesses")

i'll honestly be so shocked if even one of those is right 😅 please tell me which lines actually take you out yeah? okay love you and really hope you can sleep now -fiancee

ether maybe "check in on my mental state find another skeleton take it out and decorate"

pin the grenade "if you're gonna kill me baby please just do it slow" listen i have no idea why but this line each and every time takes me out but "if you don't love me lie to my face" is so good as well

hello my dearest fiancee!! yes actually i am literally listening to the happy playlist right now as we speak i love that so much for us it’s honestly? SUCH a good playlist. thank you fiancee your contribution is, of course, invaluable

how have i been! what a question. i have actually been strangely good!! this morning i did some cool things for acappella. i did NOT sleep well last night as im sure you saw but i have a mocha frapp and a chocolate croissant here so that should do it !!!! ALSO i am going HOME today.........leaving college until spring.......gonna see my dad in like one hour i am really excited for that :) how are you!!!

i am sorry to hear about the unfortunate thursdays :// i hope they pass quickly for you and also hope that the rest of your week is/was decent enough to make up for it? also yeah, destiel........what the fresh hell lmao literally

oh okay !!! lets see here

story of another us: yeah i mean i think the whole chorus just hits me in the face. but also “memories are pay per view, it costs too much to think of you” is such a???? line????????

the quiet: yeah you got it first try!! i’d rather be spitting blood than have the silence fuck me up??????? what the FUCK????? literally

san francisco: wtf fiancee are you inside my head......are you ME......that’s literally the line i fucking love that lyric so much the image is so nice and the emotion and JUST

special: well. the line that takes ME out is “i just wanna feel good, wanna feel special” like....the desperation!!!!! also the fact that alex sings it!! thinking!! but you’re right, on that song (and frankly every simple creatures song) every single line hits

cynic: yeah it’s “i cried at the rain but there’s no way that i’m depressed” that line puts me in another dimension deadass

ether: honestly, i would have to relisten to this one, but im pretty sure it’s the chorus part. like the “you can gasp for air or take the either; hold your breath for both, you won’t get either” however i also do really like the cross another state line checkin on my mental state line. i’m not even sure why? i just like the. like. i just like it hlkfgjdkslmj

pin the grenade: YEAH it’s if you don’t love me lie to my face. i just fucking love that. it’s such a desperate plea!!! are you detecting a theme here fldkgjfmlkj

#this is so much fun #i slept two hours last night fiancee thats all i can give ya #wait thats a lie #i slept really badly for two hours from roughly 1am-3am #and then i was awake for like. another three hours #and then got two really good hours from 6-8am #so! four hours total #anyway hope you're doing well thank you for the fic meme #fiancee anon #anonymous #ask #answered

[imyourforeverbestfriendarmygurl]

April 30 2020

It's been a month and boiii I missed him so much but theres nothing I can do because were lockdown AF like literally I wanted to cry everytime but f no.. i don't want to be so dramatic all the time..I'm distracting myself with of course tiktok

And photoshoot.. but tbh Idk what to do anymore..I remember maybe I said it on the other post but I'm not sure, I told him that oh wait 1st I saw a picture of him and the girl he liked before like 2010 or something and because were having a reunion I wanted to include them on the video I was editing for the group and so I ask one person who knows about it and so she told me the story and I was like wow.. that's why.. and so I had to message him because I can't believe the facts.. so fast forward I told him "you know why you got basted before because you're this and that..you should learn from that..blah blah.." I freaked out a bit because I felt he's kind off doing it to me too.so I had to say something and then he said "Am I still like that now? Please tell me which friend I'm doing that let me know?" And then poof sudden realization true enough he's not like that anymore and there is no "anyone" in this relationship but me. I trusted his words when he told me that before but I kind of easily be presuade by some stories from the past you know..but yeah I just realized that he's more than honest to me than to anyone tbh and I trust his words so if he says no it's no.. idk there's this thing about him that when you see him or hear him you'll know hes saying the truth so that's the truth.. he a changed man.. and I like it, if only I could change one thing it would be that we can stay longer together I was gonna say "sweetness" but i realize he's really a sweet guy in person and I feel love everyday im with him the thing is I'm not with him everyday so that's why I kind of missing the sweetness, but boiii trust me he would be the sweetest person you'll ever met that's why I realized in lucky enough to know him, luckier to be friends with him and luckiest to have found him he doesn't even know it, he prolly doesn't care sometimes but it's all front act.. when I'm with him his losing guards (you know what I mean) so yeah if I could change one thing in this situation that is to be with him.. I wonder how lovely it would be and how happy the both of us will be, I'm dead sure he wanted it that way either, (quality time) also sleeping together doesn't mean you're doing something nasty, in our case it's just literally sleeping together but it's the sweetest can u imagine like idt there's still a guy who can control, you know like respects you that much that you can sleep together without nasty happenings I mean you get what I mean lol and I have to applaud him for that..like the urge is hard to control you know.. I know it's hard for him tbh but he did what he gotta do and I'm so proud of that.. he always wanted someone to sleep with him I guess because whenever his mom's visiting him they're sleeping together, not that hes a mama's boy but I find it cute when you love your mom so much, because they say find a guy who loves their mom so much because they know how to handle girls or something idk really something like that..anyway some people are asking me for my tips on how LdR be sucessful or something like that, I would say:

1.) Be patient- if your normal patience is 100% make it 200% trust me it'll test your patience

2.) Be understanding- not all the time they meant what they say or like how they say it.. it might be difficult to understand because you're reading it.

3.) Trust ( the hardest) - if you trust them 100% show it. Dont just say it.. if you ask them and they say NO then be it.. don't push it too hard on them.

4.) Be happy- find something funny on the relationship, make sure that you guys laugh or smile every 2 seconds before you guys talk everyday.. 2 seconds is not that long so give happiness a time.

5.) Be positive- there are always negativity in the world you just gotta dig to find positive in every situation.. so if you guys missing each other real hard then remind each other it'll be over soon, we'll see each other again..looking forward to this and that.. plan trips or anything that will make the dull side bright.

Idk I'm not an expert but that's what I've been doing and it works for me so hopefully it works for you too. Before tbh I was questioning him why are you laughing every first couple seconds of the video on videochat and he can't actually explain why, but I realize it is better like that because it'll make the conversation less stress more fun.. so now i kinda like it.. and plus it made my day.. actually the whole him would make myday.. he's funny, kind and all positive traits lol I love it when I make fun of him and he gets mad a bit.. lol but yeah 5 tips you should always do.. it totally worked.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Gateway Drug | Part Fifty-Eight

A/N: Just saying the story is picking up pace after this part so get ready.

Words: 3.4K

Warning(s): Explicit language, mentions of drug abuse

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I watch as Tommy and Nikki finish up their MTV interview to promote the new album, Nikki glancing at me every now and then.

"And, before we go, can you repeat those dates again for the release of the video of first single and the debut of the album?"

"Uh, the 'Girls, Girls, Girls' video--we're filming for that around the end of the month, the album's coming out between May fifth and May tenth, probably." Nikki states.

"Alright, you heard it here. May is gonna be the month of Mötley Crüe, obviously when those release details become more specific we will let you all at home know but for now just keep your eyes on May. Nikki, Tommy, it's always a great talk anytime you're in the studio with us, we appreciate you dropping by."

"No problem." Nikki says.

"Anytime, Dude." Tommy adds.

"Good luck with the album, it's gonna be at the top of the charts when it's out, I guarantee."

"Thanks, we really appreciate that." Tommy nods.

"And good luck also with shooting the video, I'm sure plenty of our audience will be looking forward to all the women, and of course we'll be looking forward to all the censoring we're gonna have to edit in." The interviewer's last line is sarcastic as he shakes their hands, and they laugh. "Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee of Mötley Crüe, folks. Don't go anywhere." He finishes as they cut, and Nikki waves me over, sitting his coffee cup down to reach for my water bottle in my hand.

I give it to him and he nearly drinks the entire thing before handing it back to me.

"Thank you, babe." He says to me, letting out a breath as the interviewer bids them one last "goodbye" as they stand up and stretch.

We have to meet Mick, Vince and Doc at their rehearsal space so they can continue their auditions for background singers.

So far, the girls that have tried out are either gorgeous but can't sing, and the ones who can sing like Whitney Houston aren't "hot enough to be on the same stage as Mötley Crüe", even though I've seen them hook up with far worse.

I haven't said a word about 'You're All I Need' because the giant, heavy scratch my key left on the entire passenger side of Nikki's brand new car will say plenty when he finally notices it.

So far he hasn't even driven the thing since he's been back. It's just been in the garage.

"...Okay, thank you for your time." Nikki pipes to the pretty dark-haired girl with almost honey colored eyes.

I think she's on the "hot but talentless" list.

"Dude, we're never gonna find fucking singers." Tommy groans, rubbing his face.

"Viv, can you sing?" Vince whines.

"Like chalk against a chalk board." I reply blankly and he sighs.

"All this has been is just hours and hours of disappointment with a few good blowjobs in between." Vince states.

"Just shut up and be patient." Mick tells them.

Doc sends the next girl in, and I see everyone's faces light up because she's pretty.

Blonde hair, a nice figure, and she dresses the part.

"Hi." She greets us with a smile.

"Hi." Vince grins back.

"I-I'm Donna McDaniel." She says next.

"Okay, here's some lyrics." Nikki hands her a sheet of paper with the main lines of a few of their songs she'd have to sing backup for and she takes it. "Start when you're ready."

The relief on their faces when she starts, makes me want to laugh.

She's attractive and she can sing.

"When you leave, tell Doc that we're interested, and he'll lead you to where you can stay until we finish up." Nikki informs her and she nods, handing the music back to him.

"Thank you." She tells them as she steps out.

"No, thank you." Vince says out of earshot, looking a little more hopeful that they'll find their second singer.

And sure enough, they do.

Within forty more minutes, they're sending everyone else home after another blonde, named "Emi" but she pronounces it "Amy", comes in.

I can see Vince's mind churning up how to get her and Donna to fuck around with him, and Nikki can see it, too.

Once Emi is sent to wait with Donna, Nikki's going into military sergeant mode.

"If we hire them," he starts, pointing at Tommy and Vince, "nobody fucks them. Got it?"

"What? Why?" Vince looks heartbroken.

"You don't shit in your own backyard, man, that's why. They're employees, we're the bosses."

"Yeah, Vinnie, we can't have employees having us wrapped around their finger." Tommy adds with a nod.

"It's the easiest pussy there possibly will ever be, are you serious?" Vince complains.

"If it's so easy, why did they both turn you down already?" I point out and he glares at me.

"Just. Don't. Fuck. Them. Got it?" Nikki sternly asks.

I guess now is a good time to mention that Nikki fucked Donna on the "Girls" tour.

The closer we got to tour, the more adamant Nikki was about cutting his addiction.

But, despite him constantly saying "I'm done with it" and throwing away everything to get high on, I'd always find him crawling around in our yard, naked, with his shot gun...carrying on about midgets and Mexicans.

It wouldn't take the neighbors five minutes to call and let me know he was out there.

Trying to tell them a believable excuse was the hard part.

I let out a soft breath, pulling the covers tighter over me, drifting further and further into sleep as the sound of our ceiling fan and Nikki flickering his lighter from the closed closet every now and again moves through the room, and lulls me to sleep.

I don't know what time it is when I wake up to the sound of Nikki screaming, running out of our room, but I force myself to sit up as quickly as I can and go after him.

I turn on the light in the hallway just in time to see him pressing the "panic" button on our security system contact box, which alerts West Tech, our security company, and they send out one of their people to come check on the situation.

"Nikki, what the hell?!" I ask him and he turns to look at me, pissed off and paranoid.

"I'm tired of these bastards not giving us any peace."

"W-What? Who?"

"You know who!"

"Nikki, what are you talking about?!"

He had smoked his crack and convinced himself our security had bugged the house and were watching him, constantly.

Then, he had decided "no, it's the FBI that's watching me" and gained the courage to set off the alarm to our security that something wasn't right.

And then, by the time West Tech arrived, Nikki was turning on them, again.

"Nikki, let me get to the door." I tell him calmly as the knocking continues.

"Fuck off!" Nikki shouts.

"Mr. Sixx, it's Chris with West Tech--"

"--Get off of my fucking property or I'll fucking shoot you!" He screams as we stand on the other side of the door, his shotgun ready. "You motherfuckers have bugged my house and I'm not fucking taking it anymore!"

"Mr. Sixx--"

They stop trying the second Nikki cracks the door open, and points his gun at all of them.

I hear them scatter to their van, the tires screeching as they quickly make a break for it.

He slams the door shut and locks it, the both of us waiting in silence until we decide they're gone.

"You called our security...then shot at them because they answered the call..." I point out to him, exhausted, and he looks down at me. "I'm sleeping in the guest bedroom." I state.

I lock the door behind me and climb into the bed, hearing Nikki go back to our bedroom, and I envy Karen for staying over at a friend's house because Nikki is starting to really wear me down with his shit.

The next few nights consists of Nikki, Tommy, me and the director working on the music video, Wayne Isham, trying to decide what strip club would be best to film the video for "Girls, Girls, Girls" at.

And me and Nikki arguing over another matter that is too be determined:

"I said I'm not gonna be in the video." I repeat to Nikki, crossing my arms and he raises a brow.

"Babe, it's not that serious." Nikki states.

"I already told you I'm not comfortable with it."

"You wear bikinis all the time, you wear thongs and bras all the time...It's not like I'm gonna have you up there topless or anything." He motions to the stage of the Seventh Veil.

"Nikki, I'm not comfortable with it. Why can't you just let that go?"

"Why can't you be more fun?"

"Nikki, it's fine if she doesn't want to." Tommy lightly tells him with a chuckle.

Nikki doesn't even hear him, too busy focusing on me to see if he cracked me or not.

"Are you fellas good on drinks?" A scantily clad cocktail waitress asks us.

"We're fine, thanks." Wayne tells her with a decent amount of class...but that doesn't sit well with Tommy and Nikki.

"Okay, my name's Tabby if you guys need anything, let me know."

Before she can smile and walk away, Tommy's stopping her.

"Actually, there is something else, Tabby." He states, smiling, and she grins politely.

"What can I get for you?"

He motions for her to come closer and he gets in her ear, with Nikki smirking, knowing exactly what he was proposing to the pretty brunette.

Her face pales, and she glances at me before awkwardly giving Tommy nudge with her elbow as if he were joking.

His face shifts to one of seriousness.

"What, you think I'm joking?" He asks her and she tries to keep from looking too uncomfortable, giving all of us a small smile before saying:

"I've gotta get back to work. Let me know when you guys need a refill, you know it's on the house."

She walks away and Nikki and Tommy chuckle.

That was the first time I had seen a woman get uncomfortable around the guys.

Usually they were all for whatever it is Tommy or Vince suggest doing with them...I later found out Tommy had suggested to Tabby that he and Nikki meet her in the bathroom to tag team her.

That's why she had looked almost sick looking at me, when he was whispering in her ear.

She was probably thinking:

"Bless her naive heart."

Me nor Wayne bother to ask any questions about the incident before we're getting ready to go.

The guys and Wayne talk to the owner about possibly shooting the video and he's all for it, giving them the day after tomorrow to get it done.

I'm too busy thinking about what Nikki said earlier to really listen all that much.

"Why can't you be more fun?" who the hell does he think he is? Oh, right, he's "NiKkI fUcKiNg SiXx."

Once we're stepping outside and telling Wayne "bye", Nikki and Tommy are putting in to going to the Cathouse.

I just want to go home.

"I don't feel like going all the way back home, then coming all the way back." Nikki complains and I furrow my brows a little.

"Nikki, it's..." I grab his wrist to pull his jacket sleeve up and look at his watch. It's nearly 3:00am. "...2:53."

"Then just call a cab." He suggests.

"Are you on smack right now?" I don't sugarcoat the question. "You're being a bigger asshole than you are when you're sober." I add.

"Fuck off!" He snaps at me.

I can tell Tommy wants to say something, but keeps quiet.

"Fine." I say, turning on my heel to the payphone down the way.

I realize I don't have any money to pay for it, but before I can go back and ask Nikki for some change, he and Tommy are off.

So I find my next option.

I walk nearly an hour to the Franklin and get to where Duff's staying, only to find him, and none of the guys are home.

I feel like crying, but decide this isn't the end of the world before I calm down and sit by his door like a lost puppy.

I wake up to the feeling of someone nudging me awake with their shoe, and I'm met with Izzy looking down at me.

"Izzy." I greet him.

"Viv." He replies blankly. "Did you leave or were you thrown out?" He asks me and I roll my eyes before he gives me the slightest hint of a smile before it fades and he's nodding across the hall. "C'mon."

I stand up as he unlocks his apartment and motions me inside.

"You can stay here until Duff gets in." He says.

"Thank you." I reply, sitting on the couch as he hands me a shitty blanket.

"I'm gonna go scrub the lipstick and regret from my balls." He informs me, heading to the bathroom.

"At least you regret it." I say back.

"Nah, I don't regret getting a blowjob from a random girl, I regret not nailing her." He corrects me and I don't even hide my laughter.

Once he's done, he's stepping across the hall to see if Duff's back. Apparently he is because Izzy's coming to get me.

"Fuck off, Sixxette." He takes the blanket from me and I gladly head towards Duff's place.

When I get inside, Duff's passed out on the couch, snoring, and smelling like a bar.

I walk over to him, gently shaking him awake, and he let's out another groan.

"Go away." He waves his hand, his eyes closed, and I raise a brow.

"Duff, it's Viv. C'mon, at least go get in your bed so you won't feel worse tomorrow."

He perks up at the sound of my voice, lifting his head, rubbing his eyes.

"I've...is this a dream? 'Cause usually you're naked and 'Purple Rain' is playing." He slurs and I feel my face heat up in embarrassment.

"No, it isn't a dream...and I didn't need to know that but thank you, I guess." I reply, pulling his boots off.

I help him stand, his tall, lanky figure towering over me.

"You look pretty, were you on a date?" He asks when I get him to sit on his bed, helping him not fall over as he tries to take off his shirt and gets caught in it.

"Er...kinda?" I shrug and he nods. "Were you on a date?" I ask when a condom wrapper falls from his jacket and he scrunches his face up.

"Er...kinda." He replies in the same tone, rubbing his face and I laugh. "Hey, I'm a bachelor now, Viv. I'm gullible. I mean elgib--no, estrang...or amb...what the fuck is that word?"

"Eligible?"

"Yeah, that one." He coughs, taking his belt off as I pick up his scattered dirty clothes and put them against his wall in a pile.

When I turn back around, I get a split-second's worth of an eyeful of him completely naked and snap back around, covering my eyes.

"Ohh...I should've told you I'm freeballing." He says.

"Just..." I turn around, keeping my eyes closed, holding my hand out for his pants so I can put them in the pile with his other clothes.

"Are you reaching for it or something?" He laughs and, again, my face is bright red.

"No, Duff, I'm not reaching for it. I need your pants." I inform him.

He laughs some more, throwing the pants my way and I take them and put them in the pile as he crawls into bed and under the covers.

"By the way, it's bigger than that." He informs me and I furrow my brows and look at him.

"What?"

"It's cold in here so..."

I realize he's referring to his dick and I scream internally.

"...Okay, Duff, too much informa--"

"--I'm packing. That's all I'm saying. I'm like a can of Spam. Lotta meat in--"

"--Shh!" I blush even more, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Oh, oops."

"Jeez. Goodnight, Duff." I'm about to go sleep on the couch.

"Where ya going?" He asks me when I turn the light off.

"Sleeping on the couch."

"You can sleep in here, I can take the couch." He sits up.

"No, no. You're not gonna feel good tomorrow just sleep in here, really, it's fine."

"Well, are you gonna be okay? You don't sleeping by yourself."

I sigh, wishing it were that simple.

"Duff, we can't do that. Nikki wrote an entire song about wanting to kill me, and it was because he thinks something's happening between you and I." I explain.

"Nikki accusing you of cheating?" There's an uncomfortable wait before he says, "that's fucking rich."

"Yeah, well, he doesn't like it so out of respect for him--"

"--I don't fucking respect him." He mumbles.

"Duff, you're drunk. Just sleep it off."

"You're right. I should shut the fuck up let the universe deal him his fucking cards."

I ignore him saying so, turning to leave, but I stop myself.

I'm only here to begin with because Nikki couldn't just take me back home.

I step back to the bed, taking my heels and jacket off.

I take the extra pillow under mine and put it between us as I get into bed.

"Goodnight, Duff." I say quietly, turning my back to him.

"G'night, Viv."

Nikki would have had an absolute fit had he known, then again, I wasn't fucking Duff, I had no intention of doing so, and I told Nikki exactly where I ended up staying the next day.

The sun glitters through the window of Duff's room, hitting my face, and I blink my eyes open, feeling Duff breathing in and out.

Sometime during the night I must've broken past the pillow partition because, although I'm facing away from him, my back is pulled to his side, the side of my face is resting against his bicep, my shoulder tucked under the pit of his arm, and the arm that my face is against, is wrapped around me, his hand resting against my stomach.

I turn to look at him, seeing his peaceful expression as he sleeps contently.

My mind drifts back to that dream I once had about him.

I hate that Nikki thinks anything is going on between Duff and I, but it's my fault.

I lied about seeing him, I lied by omittion at the beginning by not even telling Nikki about him...a part of me wants to think if I were to tell Nikki about me dreaming I had sex with Duff, it'd be a wake up call that our issues are more serious than he believed.

I mean, when you're in a committed relationship and you can picture yourself having sex with someone you're close to, to the point your subconscious creates this entire fantasized scenario, there's something wrong that needs to be talked about.

But another part of me knows he'll flip his shit, call me a "whore" and probably file for divorce.

So, keeping it to myself it is.

My eyes go to my crucifix lying on the bedside table, and I reach out for it.

I taken it off last night when I felt too guilty for sweeping in the same bed as Duff, knowing Nikki wouldn't like it.

I thought if I took it off, I wouldn't feel bad anymore.

And I didn't.

When I was a teenager I would take that necklace off anytime I did something I thought my mother would disapprove of. Whether it was cheating on homework assignments, or, eventually, fucking Nikki Sixx.

I ended up picking that habit back up once Duff and I started getting closer, except instead of avoiding the disapproval of my mother, I was fleeing the disapproval of Nikki.

One thing I didn't take in to consideration, however, taking it off left me at risk for leaving a track.

Just like Mick had put together I had slept with Nikki because my crucifix was on his bedroom floor back in '81, halfway through the "Girls" tour with Guns N' Roses, I accidentally left my track on the bathroom counter in Duff's room, where Nikki went to throw up while he was hanging out with him, Slash, and Steven.

What they should teach in children's church: if you're going to sin, keep any religious jewelry or articles of clothing on.

Whomever the hell you worship already knows you're up to no good.

#nikki sixx #mötley crüe #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x oc #gateway drug