#softball episode the only episode ever

[lilliesthings]

happened sometime after the softball episode. they called me on the phone and told me so

(it's so blurry pls click for better quality)

#criminal minds #criminal minds fanart #spencer reid #derek morgan #moreid #he got a good grade at the sport #softball episode the only episode ever #jkjk 2x15 rrevelations my beloved #I was thinking about how whenever reid kisses someone #he looks like he's about to eat their entire face #CALM DOWN

[guardian-angle22]

Felt like putting together a little themed fic rec list! Here are some coda/missing moment fics for 3.07 Red vs. Blue. If I've missed any, let me know and I can add them to the list!

SOFTBALL FOCUSED:

◆ Win or Lose by @heartstringsduet (Words: 8.3K; Rating: E; d/s elements)

What if the softball game ended with nothing but TK receiving his rightful reward for winning? What if Carlos ever so slightly tweaked his plans?

◆ in your corner by @heartstringsduet (Words: 7.1K; Rating: M; d/s elements; part 5 of a series)

Win or lose, Carlos promises to reward TK after the softball game tonight. But all it takes is a single moment to unravel what they’ve built together.

◆ it's hotter than hell where i'm at by @petalwritesx (Words: 1.3K; Rating: M)

“If I would’ve known a softball uniform did this to you,” T.K. says, breathless between kisses, “I would’ve bought one a long time ago.” OR: Before their little award ceremony, Carlos and T.K. have some alone time.

◆ Sex Drive by @welcometololaland (Words: 3.8K; Rating: E)

Carlos has a thing for TK playing softball and TK has a thing for reflective surfaces, apparently. OR A season 3, episode 7 missing scene.

◆ "You love this, don't you?" by @irispurpurea (Words: 403; Rating: T)

Fictober 2022 Day 28. Prompt: “You love this, don’t you?” Missing scene from Red vs. Blue

◆ Gold name and number by @goodways (Words: 3.6K; Rating: E)

“I’m just saying Carlos, it was a simple ‘talk shit, get hit scenario’, the law has no place getting involved,” TK spoke with a tone like he was explaining simple first grade math. “First of all, that’s not true and second of all… no, no I think that’s it.” * Carlos has some feelings about TK in his softball outfit.

◆ Take Me Out to the Ball Game by @chicgeekgirl89 (Words: 1.5K; Rating: T)

He’s seen his boyfriend’s ass in a lot of outfits; his uniform, jeans, slacks, but nothing, nothing tops this. His boyfriend is hot. He’s so fucking hot. Carlos isn’t sure he’s ever seen anything hotter in his entire life.  A follow up fic for 3x07 "Red vs. Blue" in which T.K. wears a new kind of uniform and Carlos likes it. A lot.

◆ your hand under my jacket by @kiras-sunshine (Words: 5.8K; Rating: T)

"You know, I’m grateful you came to watch,” TK hums as he steps into their loft through the door, and immediately turns around to give him one of those wide and brilliant grins, and pokes the peak of Carlos’ cap upwards, “even though it looked like you were trying to be as incognito as possible.

END OF EPISODE FOCUSED (TW: discussions of grief/death/dying):

◆ i can't just bring them back, but darling i can hold your hand by @morganaspendragonss (Words: 2K; Rating: T)

It’s been hours, and TK hasn’t said a word. He hasn’t screamed, or cried, or done anything that Carlos has come to expect from someone who just found out a loved one passed away. He’s just curled up in a ball on the bed, staring blankly at the wall, and that’s where he’s been ever since he walked away from the party like a ghost. * a 3.07 coda/3.08 spec fic

◆ underneath by @kiras-sunshine (Words: 4.2K; Rating: T)

Grief is a powerful thing, and it affects everyone differently, creating unique pain and ache for everyone, and it is always a process, and TK has had his grief only for mere hours. It is still new, growing and invading space in him.

◆ not a victory march by @reyesstrand (Words: 2.8K; Rating: T)

Carlos approaches, still under the assumption that everything is fine because it's supposed to be, and TK feels his eyes start to burn when Carlos asks him to tell his mom he says hi.  Because that's something he's never going to do again.

◆ Surrounded by Love by @bluenet13 (Words: 5.8K; Rating: T)

A look at TK in the days, weeks and months following Gwyn’s passing as he processes his grief with the help of his family and friends. A 3x07 Coda

◆ this weight off your shoulders by @marjansmarwani (Words: 1.9K; Rating: T)

When Andrea Reyes receives a call from her son with terrible news, she makes a promise to a woman she only met once but always felt she knew. A 3x07 Coda

◆ may there be abundant peace by @maxbegone (Words: 2.6K; Rating: N/A)

Carlos sighs. “Baby, I’m so sorry.” “Yeah.” “I’m so sorry.” It warrants no further reply, because at this point Carlos is crying along with him, resting his forehead against his temple and securing his hold even tighter. If he didn’t feel so numb, TK would reciprocate somehow. But this day has been simultaneously a blur and the sharpest image, burned red-hot in his brain. He could relive every single moment in perfect accuracy, he swears. __ An introspective episode coda sometime after the events of 3.07 and 3.08.

◆ No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. by @tkstrrand (4 fic series, Total Words: 13.1K; Rating: G)

TK tries to balance moments of joy with grief/guilt following the months after his mother's passing.

◆ sometimes grief is an open wound - it bleeds and bleeds and bleeds by @morganaspendragonss (Words: 663; Rating: M; TW: Self-harm, Suicidal Thoughts)

His doctor puts him back on his antidepressants and he takes them without complaint, even when sometimes they feel like they’re doing more harm than good. The side effects leave him nauseous for a week, his already unpredictable sleep schedule fucked up beyond repair, but TK dutifully swallows them down every morning, because this means that he’s trying, right? It means that… It means something. It has to.

◆ wrap me up, enfold me by @strandnreyes (Words: 2.3K; Rating: G)

“She’s dead.” Those are the last words he has spoken in at least ten minutes. Now as Carlos sits beside TK on the couch, he isn’t sure what to do. His boyfriend is silent and unmoving, almost hauntingly so, and there’s this vacant look in his eyes that makes him look so unlike himself that it jars Carlos.

◆ Before...And After by Mari_Marie (Words: 256; Rating: G)

TK takes a shuddering breath. He doesn’t remember much about last night, except that he was catatonic after the call, then dissolved an hour later into a sobbing, hyperventilating mess. The only reason he didn’t shake apart was because Carlos had held him.

◆ wrapped in a cloak of misery by @pendragonsandbuckleys (Words: 1.1K; Rating: G)

The phone clattered to the ground only seconds before TK’s knees buckled from underneath him. - a 3.07 coda.

◆ silent answers by @blueink3 (Words: 577; Rating: T)

It’s Paul who notices first because of course he does. “She’s dead.” Who clocks the fact that something has gone horrifyingly, catastrophically wrong. “She’s dead.” “Carlos?” Not ‘hey, man’ or ‘you good?’ Not the casual, easy tone Carlos has come to appreciate ever since that night at the club. It’s diffused more than one high pressure situation, but this -  Nothing can fix this. A coda to 3x07.

#911 lone star #tarlos #911 lone star fic recs #fic recs #fic rec list #ive been meaning to make some themed rec lists for awhile now #i started with this theme simply because I had a good idea for the gif header lmaooo #btw if any author doesn't like to be tagged in things like this for any reason PLEASE let me know #no explanation necessary #I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

Maybe I’m the odd one out here but What is and What Should Never Be always absolutely destroys me. I weep for almost the entire episode.

Dean has a home. He has someone who loves him. His life is normal and safe. And I cry.

The way he looks at Mary when he sees her for the first time. The way he nearly crumbles when she says “I told you angels were watching over you”. And then he hugs her with everything he has. He’s so happy to be back with him mom, back in his childhood home. His mom makes him lunch and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him. He gets to mow the lawn like a normal person. The trunk of his car isn’t full of weapons. He’s just ordinary, and he’s so happy about it. So I cry.

And the way he hugs Jess? He only ever met the girl once but he knows how much she means to Sam. And he knows that losing her almost killed his brother. And so he hugs her as tight as he can, because he’s so thrilled that she’s alive and Sam is happy. And I cry.

But what also kills me is the way that Sam and his mom talk about Dean. They’re always asking if he’s been drinking. They’re suspicious of all of his actions and his affections. Maybe the version of Dean from this life wasn’t exactly on the straight and narrow, but they talk about him like he’s a deadbeat. So I cry.

Jesus Christ, and when Dean goes to talk to his dad at the cemetery?

“It's like my old life is… is coming after me or something. Like it like it doesn't want me to be happy. Course I know what you'd say. Well, not the you that played softball but... "So go hunt the Djinn. He put you here, it can put you back. Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest. Right?" But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh? What, Mom's not supposed to live her life? Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad?”

He doesn’t say “why can’t I have the life I want?” Sure, he asks why he has to be a hero. But he makes it more about Sam and his mom. Because he wants them to have the lives they deserve. And this moment just gives us another look at what a bastard John was. Dean knew how dismissive and rude John would be. He knew that John would never choose his own son’s happiness over the lives of strangers. And he’d probably scream at Dean for even considering the “selfish” option. The way Dean says that his old life doesn’t want him to be happy also kills me. Because it’s like, no matter where he goes or what he does, he’s destined for misery. So I sob.

And so Dean goes to hunt the Djinn. He chooses the lives of others over everything, like he always does. And he realizes his new life isn’t real. He realizes he’s been unconscious this entire time, and that Jess is dead. His mom is dead. Carmen doesn’t really exist. And I cry.

So he’s ready to kill himself, but the way that his family tries to convince him to stay?

Oh my god. Spiegel im Spiegel starts playing, and Sam asks “why’d you have to keep digging?”

Mary tells him to put the knife down. She says it doesn’t matter that this life isn’t real, it’s still better than anything he had before. And that yeah, in real life, he will die in a few days. But it will feel like years. And there will be “No more pain. Or fear. Just love and comfort. And safety,” none of which Dean has in his real life

But Dean still chooses to return to his life, because he cares more about our saving people than he does about his own happiness.

And he tells Sam about the fake life the djinn created for him. About how Sam was happy with Jess. And their mom was going to have grandchildren. Sam commends him for having the strength to fight it, to leave it behind. And Dean says, “But I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay so bad. I mean, ever since Dad... all I c– all I can think about is how much this job's cost us. We've lost so much. We've... sacrificed so much.”

and it’s like, damn. Why can’t Dean ever be truly happy? Cause even in this “happy” version of his life, everything was tinged with pain and sadness and grief. And I just wish he could get a break. So I cry and cry and cry and cry.

#supernatural #supernatural rewatch #supernatural season 2 #what is and what should never be #dean winchester #jensen ackles #sam winchester #jared padalecki #Sam and Jess #mary winchester #samantha smith #djinn

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 21- Lorelai's Graduation Day, Aka The Best Episode That Ever Episoded, My Heart Will Soon Be Exploded. Part 1

This is my all time favorite episode of Gilmore Girls. It is so dear and special to me. Why? It includes (but is not limited to) the following qualities: 1.Jess and Rory go on their only psuedo-date!!!!! EVER! 2.Lorelai is safely contained in another location..another STATE...for the entire psuedo-date! 3.Although this is unfortunately not a Certified Dean Free Episode, his presence is limited to only 1 minute of nonsense! 4.Frankly, there is no interference from ANYBODY. Just Jess and Rory being so fucking cute and alone together! 5.Milo eats a hot dog! 6.Rory follows her dear little heart, skips school, goes to New York City and in the process screws over Lorelai by missing her graduation which is what she deserves. Lorelai deserves all the bad things. Huzzah! 7. Season 3 is just over the horizon. I skipped the two previous episodes, but you can read everything else here. Let's GOOOOO. Since I skipped right past the dumpster fires that were Teach Me Tonight and whatever the godforsaken episode is that came after it, I missed a few things and can only rely on my memory and context clues. It appears that Lorelai has staged another boycott against Luke's Diner, since Lorelai Gilmore is Certified CrazyPantsMcGee and she and Luke are on the outs because his nephew got into a minor car accident. It makes sense in her mind, don't try to understand it, you might break your own brain. The episode opens with Lorelai's search for a new breakfast spot. Instead of saving a few bucks and just pouring her and Rory a bowl of cereal at home for once.

Whenever the Gilmores mention or visit other locales outside of The Hollow, it's kinda weird, because I think of Stars Hollow as a bubble cut off from the rest of normal society. Like when they go to the mall and stuff? What are you doing outside The Bubble, Citizens? The atmosphere is unsafe. But, the episodes that take place outside The Bubble, like this one, are some of the best ones. Other certified Outside The Bubble greats: The Bangles concert, the drag show, Lorelai and Emily's spa day.

I guess I missed the birth of Lane the Drummer as well.

Sure Lorelai, exploit your friend for free labor instead of sticking a fucking Pop Tart in a toaster.

The food on this show always looks amazing. Props to the Gilmore Girls food display person.

Someone on this show has a conscience. Good for her. That being said, I'm glad she throws her moral compass in the trash when she decides to skip school. Lorelai and Dean can drown in a pit of rattlesnakes.

Jackson and Sookie are sex freaks 100%. Good for them. Why couldn't they give Jared Padalecki a paycheck to sleep in every episode too? Another thing I missed in episodes 19 and 20: Lorelai going back to school.

Really, I thought her head was emptier than The Independence Inn on a Tuesday afternoon. That her one brain cell would have plenty of room to chill out, take a little swim, see the sights.

The "knowledge" stuffed in Lorelai's brain: Dean Forrester's penis size, whether or not Dean Forrester likes those little marshmallows in his cocoa, how to say "Michel, cover my shift, I'm leaving work in the middle of the day", assorted deep seated childhood traumas. Lorelai made a comment about how her finals are the last time she has to cram anything in and I thought of a joke so dirty I decided not to post it. Filtering any thought is not the SaltyGilmores way, so you should be glad I spared you.

What? You’ve finally developed an ounce of self awareness? Did you realize you're a raging bitch who leaves misery and destruction in her wake wherever she goes? Stop lobbing me so many softballs, damn. (The real answer: She hates school and learning is stupid). L: This learning thing is self inflicted! I'm a masochist! I may as well be carrying a switch and peridocally lacerating myself with it! But enough about what you and Dean Forrester do when Rory's not home.

In a future episode, after Rory has risked her future by solely applying to Ivy League schools with less than 10% acceptance rates and is unsurpisingly, experiencing doubt about whether or not she'll get in to any of them, Lorelai remarks that Rory is going to Harvard and that's that; she will not allow her daughter to end up at a Community College or, god forbid, beauty school. In Lorelai's world there are no colleges that exist for her child in between Harvard and Stars Hollow Makeup Academy. My headcanon is that Shane (if Jess hadn't fed her to the swans after the Dance Marathon. RIP ) goes to beauty school and makes a fine living. Rory carries too much pressure on her shoulders and her life and career flame out. It's a tale as old as time. To her credit, in this scene Lorelai isn't really slandering her school, but talking about how the school is so small that her ceremony will be unremarkabl. But there wil be one, so she has decided to participate. She did not walk in her high school graduation ceremony because she had a 1 year old at the time, such is the consequence of boinking Crusty Hayden on your parents' balcony in the middle of winter. R: You should do it! You've worked hard! You earned it! Yes, she's worked so hard at this for such a long time that she decided on, enrolled in, and graduated from an entire college business program over the course of two episodes. R: You should invite Gramma and Grampa. L: Forget it. They won't want to be there. I was supposed to graduate high school, go to Vassar*, marry a Yale man, and get myself a proper nickname like Babe or Bunny or Shih Tzu. Instead, I got pregnant, didn't finish school, I didn't marry your father, I ended up in a career that even Jessica Hahn** would think is beneath her. I humiliated them, the two proudest people in the world, I humliated them. I spoiled their plans. I took their fine upbringing in a world of comfort and opportunity and I threw it in their faces. I broke their hearts and they'll never forgive me. I don't want them there. It'll hurt them, and hurt me. (please see footnotes at end of post for additonal commentary on this speech) Lorelai's 16 year old daughter, who 15 seconds earlier was looking forward to her mother's graduation, but is now being trauma dumped on by her mother, and is not unaware that this is about her:

Her name is "Dean Forrester's future stepdaughter." Look at me ragging on Dean and he's not even here! Ha! HA!

Ha? :( Dean is attempting to use his feeble brain to mansplain a concept to the women. What is it?

Given his history of stalking, harrasment and verbal abuse, the thought of Dean honing his skills with a weapon should be incredibly frightening, but the girls want to hear more from this armed predator. Lorelai is very interested in how Dean Forrester yields his weapon. Dean’s Hobby Of the Episode is, *spins wheel* Skeet shooting, also known as clay pigeon shooting. (he helpfully mansplains to Rory that he is not shooting actual pigeons, that's just what the clay disks are called), and then the ladies ask several more dumb questions like "what if you actually hit a real bird?" in what is perhaps some kind of attempt by AmyShermanPalladino to show that Dean Smart Women Dumb. But I'm a grizzled veteran of your show, AmyShermanPalladino. You're not getting the "Dean is intelligent" ruse over on me this far into the second season. Nice try. R: Why are you into this? D: My dad did this when he was my age and he wanted to pass the tradition down. Your dad wishes your mom had swallowed.

I keep getting distracted by how Rory's sleeves are always tucked into her cast instead of over the cast, sorry. I've never had a cast and it just looks strange. Why am I thinking about this? Why am I like this? I like Lorelai's hoodie. There, I said something nice about her. Happy? L:If you get real good at shooting clay pigeons, do you move onto other animals like chicken and sheep? Well, future serial killers like Dean do usually start out by hurting animals. And that is the end of Dean for the entire episode. A meager one minute of Dean per episode is a dream come true. * At the first mention of Vassar, my brain immediately jumped to Bedford Diaries (aka Slutty Jess at College), where Milo's character (Richard Thorn, I mean, Slutty Jess) sleeps with his professor's estranged wife and she compliments his sexual prowess by saying "You'll make some Vassar girl very happy one day." Best not to do what I did, which is to cross pollinate the two shows and timelines in my mind (more or less against my will) and imagine some pretty horrible implications.

** I did some light Googling on Jessica Hahn, and I am NOT unpacking this reference.

#gilmore girls #gilmore girls season 2 #lorelais graduation day #rory gilmore #jess mariano #literati #denise rewatches gilmore girls #hot dog #vassar #bedford diaries

[surlifen]

guide to surlis sonas

aka an excuse to Poast Images and drone on because I love to do that!

current main sona I think and closest to a truesona: this otter guy who remains unnamed because all the names that are my name have already been used at this point LMAO

art by nepeteaa and by me! I'd honestly draw him more often if he weren't hard to draw? surli was easy because. Fox. (and Generic Thin whereas my body type is, while still pretty thin, specific in a way that's hard for me to draw) and honestly I enjoy drawing him more oTL.... otters are super hard to stylize cutely + in a way that looks Like Me... surli does not look Like Me teebeehaiche

surli fennec surlifen main sona of the past and still like... kind of me it's complicated

imbages by jilf and vhsdruid

i kinda ended up disconnecting from his Design as a Whole and the alt palette didn't really fix it but nonetheless he's never leaving my possession. it's weird cause my brain can really only connect fully to one character per Thing/Setting as a Sona who is Me so ever since splitting off into otter I don't feel FULLY connected to either the way I once did to surli :( but I am experimenting with having multiple sonas and maybe ill try that thing people do where they also do sonas for different Aspects of themselves so I don't just have an army of Normal Nice Blonds

pokesona: liam

art by me, cicadaghost, me

not much 2 say he is me pokemonned! he's much Smaller Cuter than I am and I really enjoy his simple design + imagining him in the pokemon world :3 like what berries he'd like best and what specific cities/landmarks he hangs out at... hiking in ilex forest and visiting the national park yk

lee: bunny....sona....?

art by me, purrker

he was a bit of an experiment in "CAN I have more than one fursona?" and also "CAN I make a sona who isn't Exactly Like Me?" i've always seen people whose sonas have Supernatural Elements and been like how can you do that. I respect it so much but if EYE am a normal human person how can I connect to something with strange abilities and qualities. and I still couldn't go so far as like... my friend whose sona is an honest to god several stories tall kaiju with a backstory and shit, but lee has supernatural luck and a connection to/control of storms/lightning because that's sick and awesome and cool. and also glows and has cool antlers when he wants. he's not as me as the others but he's there and he's not... NOT me?

fucking... willie dustice, silver city "self-insert" joke guy

unfortunately I DO love his stupid ass. you know how sometimes in a comic or animated show there'll be some obscure reference to one of the creators or someone on the team like as a gag that goes over most people's heads well he's supposed to be that. his appearance is me at my worst (needs haircut + shave) and he has the OP superpower of putting people in pocket dimensions of altered reality he controls entirely but he ONLY uses it to make stupid filler bottle episodes like They All Have To Play Softball or Beach Episode or whatever. represents my oft-abused ability as a creator to Put Those Guys in a Situation. he's not so much a sona (cause if I made a silver city sona it would be genuine not this greasy freak) but he sure is Representative of Me.

horse: horse

i was challenged to make a horsesona. I don't plan to do anything with him but kept him around because I liked his design. someday I might make a more natural horse sona for in case I ever joined some kind of equine rp setting or some shit equivalent but for now my sparklehorse

spinxynsona: coast

art by capricorne, me, me

coasty woasty... made for the nephfei world for the spinxyn closed species. first closed species sona ive ever had and i think hes neat! nephfei is such a well designed world that is really conducive to stories and characters influencing each other's arcs but coast is just some guy he's just there. he just lives there and minds his own business. (he has no gifts or curses so nothing really requiring a Story) but maybe i should get him some Friends at least maybe i can have a sona who has Story OC Friends from other people and still be like yes thats me if i was friends with everybody's ocs

dnd character who was based on me: august

art by me, thembodino

it was suggested since I have a very hard time being In Character (i get so self conscious) that I start with a character similar to myself! so august is incredibly Just Me FR. if i were to go on an adventure i would be bad at it and terrified. his campaign is suspended due to Life but i accidentally, due to knowing nothing, picked a pretty OP blend of stats that has made him bizarrely competent (not like. the best in the party or anything but he really can hold his own and once like critted twice and turned invisible and flew and killed a dragon) and honestly that's hilarious and I like it for him

that's it! the rest of my characters are just characters not sonas though I still love them dearly, some of them even more than some of my sonas i won't name names though ty if you made it this far. i love to Talk

#surli #liam #coast #lee #willie dustice #august

[pcos-and-endo-awareness]

What’s YOUR personal experience with these disorders? :-)

Hello anon! I know I’ve made this post before but it’s buried somewhere. So here it is! Buckle up folks!

I always struggled with bad periods. Heavy flow, horrific cramps, irregular timing. I just thought that’s what it is and everyone deals with it. I figured the pain I experienced trying to use tampons was all in my head, some psychological fear due to my religious upbringing.

It wasn’t until college that I realized maybe my experience wasn’t normal. Maybe people aren’t supposed to be in this much pain. Maybe something was wrong. My pain got to be so overwhelming that I went to the emergency room. After a rather traumatic experience, I was eventually told that I had ovarian cysts and one of them had ruptured, and just go to my OBGYN and take some Advil. (Great advice, wonderful care. /s)

PCOS was in my family history, and my aunts and sisters all struggled with it. My then OBGYN diagnosed me with it, but basically said the same thing as the ER nurses. Take some ibuprofen and birth control and get over it. A diagnosis doesn’t do anything.

I had another episode with cysts about two years later, after I was out of college. I knew what it was this time, and I knew they’d only tell me the same thing. Take Advil and stop crying. So I didn’t bother going to the ER, and I tried to deal with the pain on my own. My (much nicer) OBGYN monitored the two softball sized cysts on my right ovary, and said we’d just keep an eye on them until they went away. That worked for a while, but not for long. One night my mother insisted on taking me to the ER because I was practically screaming in pain. After another traumatic visit, I was, you guessed it, told to take Advil and go home. It was probably another rupture.

Except it wasn’t. The next day I visited my OBGYN for an ultrasound so she could see what was going on. I was called back later that night and told to come in for emergency surgery. The cysts were torsing my ovary and cutting off the blood supply. Very scary situation, I’d never had a big surgery before. I was rushed in for the laparoscopy. This procedure usually takes less than a half hour. For me, I was on the table over two and a half hours. The reason being, not only did I have two huge cysts, but I was discovered to also have endometriosis. The cysts and all my organs had lesions, and everything was fused together. My OBGYN had to scrape the extra tissue from all my organs, she said it was the worst case of endo she’s ever seen, and I must have the highest pain tolerance ever to not be screaming my head off all day long. It was during this surgery I lost my right ovary, dead from having no blood supply.

Recovering from that surgery took me six months. It was brutal and at times, humiliating. My insides were raw and my muscles felt like goo. The only good thing to come out of it was meeting my lovely physical therapist, whom I still talk to today.

Today, five years later, I still deal with PCOS and endo. I have it mostly under control with the depo shot and many other medications. But… I struggle to lose weight, I have high blood pressure, I have major chronic fatigue, I’m at risk for diabetes, I still have migraines and flare ups and GI problems. My health is always going to be a problem for me. I am always going to be battling my hormones. I am going to struggle getting pregnant, if I even can. I am always going to have the risk of losing my other ovary and going into early menopause. I can only pray that these two disorders don’t take away more from me.

#my story #endometriosis #pcos #chronic illness #invisible illness #pcos awareness #endo awareness #pcos symptoms #endo symptoms #chronic pain #chronic fatigue #shitty doctors

[masonshaws]

15 people 15 questions

thanks @girlfriendline @giveemgreef @tblueger <333

1. are you named after anyone?

i am not! my middle name was an homage to my mom's grandparents but i have since changed it and my parents are blessedly allergic to otherwise naming anything after anybody

2. when was the last time you cried?

few days before christmas

3. do you have kids?

no and i do not want to. i have one fur baby (that i co-parent with my parents lmao) though as you all well know (scout my baby boy <3)

4. what sports do you play/have you played?

played kids' baseball/softball until i was like 10/11 bc i was constantly in the outfield and nobody can pitch until you get to like. high school. so it was boring and i hated it so i quit. i was on dance team for a while until i had to drop it bc recital dates kept being on the same days as school band concerts. was in marching band throughout high school, which counts bc i was a percussionist and had to lug around those heavy drum harnesses

5. do you use sarcasm?

a ridiculous amount. if we also count like comedic lying in this i accidentally convinced a coworker that there were only three seasons of spongebob doing that whole pretending that only the good parts of a show exist. such a shame spongebob ended after season 3. there's no more of it! just too bad

6. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

hair probably

7. what’s your eye color?

brown! medium tending towards dark

8. scary movies or happy endings?

while i love gothicness and gothyness i am a Known Weenie and certain types of gore literally make me feel faint. like the finale of the terror s1 made me a little faint and gave me the sweats and i had to fully pause the episode and lay on the floor for a while. so i guess categorically happy endings based on that. if a scary movie isn't super gory though i'll go for it

9. any talents?

i’m very performing arts inclined! i play piano, sing, dance, and act (was a theatre major in college). i memorize things quickly if i set my mind to it, am great at navigating, have great pitch memory (like i can be exactly or near-exactly on pitch when singing something i’ve heard before even without backing accompaniment. this unfortunately drives me crazy when people post pitch-shifted versions of songs and i can tell they’re off. bearer of the curse), decent stage combatant, good crowd weaver, and somehow bear the ability to unintentionally come off as intimidating to basically everyone i’ve ever met

10. where were you born?

iowa, usa

11. what are your hobbies?

i'm something of a gamer in my spare time. basically only solo joints though i'm not like gamer nhlers that play like. league of legends or fortnite or counterstrike. i've recently joined a community band and a bar trivia team (with my old middle school choir teacher lmao. he's a homie), i write fic every once in a while, read, dance around the house, go for walks when it's not cold, snuggle my pup, and obviously watch hockey. i keep telling myself i'm going to learn how to sew but trying to find beginner projects for men types is fucking dire and i keep not going out to get fabric for the pirate blouse i keep wanting to make rip

12. do you have any pets?

ah there's a separate question for this. scout, my yellow lab baby boy whose breeder had a confederate flag up in his barn when we got him (we saved you buddy). have some pictures

13. how tall are you?

5'5". short king territory

14. favorite subject in school?

i was a band/choir bitch. probably followed by english (literature). i liked basically all of it but phys ed though fuck that class i hate distance running it gives me a stitch in my side and you have to run a mile at least twice a semester (fuck you presidential fitness test). on top of all the other running they make you do. loved when they just did games though. matball my beloved

15. dream job.

actor, either stage or voice. unfortunately i do not want to live where the big voice acting studios are located and regional stage acting is kind of limited unless you go all the way out to chicago, which i tried for a couple of months before multiple breakdowns told me i should probably be closer to home. i enjoy being a librarian though :)

tagging @get-hockeyed-idiot @amandaleveille @wildaboutmnhockey @girldewar @letkirillfight @yes-perwallstedt if you guys haven't done it yet and also anyone else who wants to

#tag game

[tobiasdrake]

Episode 3 and now we're following Marc as our protagonist. It's time to start characterizing him beyond the role of simply an antagonizing yet protective force around Steven.

This is important because it builds on Marc's relationship with Khonshu and how he feels with regards to their arrangement. We know that Marc's a dangerous action guy, and we get to see it here. He's not just more experienced in the Moon Knight suit; This is a man who lives and breathes violence.

But exploring the world through his eyes lets us see the part that Steven's perspective couldn't show us: He's also a man of compassion. He's not quite the remorseless Punisher-esque ultra-killer that the last couple episodes have led us to believe.

Through the medium of violence, Marc's opening fight shows us that he is a character of great skill and ability, though not an invulnerable one. And also a character of empathy and mercy.

He faces three men, who he intends to interrogate for Harrow's whereabouts. For two of the men, he goes full brutality, hitting them with everything he's got. But there's also a younger man. Practically a kid.

At the end of the fight, Marc reveals his sympathies for the kid. But throughout the fight, the choreography takes its time to show us. Every move, every attack he throws at the kid is a softball, in sharp contrast to the other two.

Most visibly, the camera hangs on a moment of hesitation where he's about to punch the kid in the face, only for him to switch to an open-hand slap. The others are shown no such mercy, as he even beats one unconscious in a series of jabs to the nose.

And then the fight just. Ends. We get our first glimpse of Marc and Steven's mysterious third Alter. Marc wakes up with both of the other men dead and the kid lying on the ground with a broken leg, and Steven swearing innocence.

Khonshu orders Marc to hang the kid off from a ledge and make him talk. Marc hesitates. But he obeys his god. The kid refuses, however, and cuts his own scarf, committing suicide to protect Harrow - Something Marc all but begs him not to.

We learn so much about Marc's temperament in this fight. That he can be a man of violence, he can be brutal and vicious, but that he can also sympathize and care about people. Just like Steven, he is his own complex human being and can't simply be boiled down to "The Violent Alter." (Though the jury's out on Jake.)

But we also see the friction between Marc and Khonshu. How Khonshu's dominion forces Marc to do things he isn't comfortable with, harkening back to his ultimate fear in the last episode that Layla will become Khonshu's Avatar in his place. A fear not for himself for losing that prestigious role, but for Layla for having to do this unsavory and monstrous work. We see here what that means.

Khonshu doesn't care. The boy dies, and Khonshu gives a quip. But Marc cares. He's furious, he's distraught, and he blames Steven for Jake's massacre.

And at the same time, we get to see just how devoted Harrow's people truly are to him. We've only ever seen them in his presence before. We only knew how they behave when the man who judges their fate is standing five feet away. But here, we see who they are when he isn't there to judge them.

The boy cuts his scarf and throws himself to his death for Harrow. Fear cannot buy that kind of loyalty. Only faith is so strong.

Man. There is so much going on in this brief fight where Marc beats up a bunch of nameless grunts!

#marvel #marvel cinematic universe #moon knight #marc spector #khonshu #arthur harrow

[whipplefilter]

NASCAR: Full Speed

It's Daytona weekend! Which naturally means it's time to rain for 48 hours in Daytona, because heaven forbid we forget the wrath of rain delays. But at least the storm cell stretched clear to Mexico City, so there were really no doubts. We've now watched the entire NASCAR Netflix documentary series (five 1-hour episodes).

I'd heard that it was "good" and "didn't shy away from things"--and this from people who know a lot about the "things," as long-time NASCAR journalists. I'd also heard that it was a huge step up from NASCAR's various made-for-TV documentaries.

Was it good?

It was entertaining! It was good at selecting a set of narratives to follow out of the sprawl of all that could be, and not trying to overburden the five episodes with too much. It picks up right before the 2023 playoffs, and primarily follows Denny as driver+co-owner of 23XI, 23XI, and a selection of the other playoff drivers (namely those who could be considered "up-and-coming" and those who make it to the Round of 8). Some might say "too much Denny" but they found a narrative thread and followed it, and I think it was a smart use of the space they had to tell a story.

Was it a huge step up from NASCAR's various made-for-TV documentaries?

I mean, from our literal "we made this so we'd have rain delay footage to roll" pieces? ...Yes???? But I'd say it's about at the level of Dirt: The Last Great American Sport. Sure, Dirt isn't specifically NASCAR-affiliated, but it's of the genre. It's peer programming. And I say this having enjoyed Dirt! But I don't necessarily think that either of these programs would be desirable watch material for people who weren't already in this foxhole, which I think NASCAR was hoping it would be (i.e. to follow in the footsteps of F1's Drive to Survive.)

Did it shy way from things?

This is where I think Full Speed loses out to Drive to Survive. I say this as an outsider to F1--I've only ever watched one race, and I only know things through racing osmosis/following racing news in general. But I think Drive to Survive was more willing to show its raw edges as part of its story: the extreme budget disparities across teams, the Red Bull/Renault sniping, contract and sponsorship bullshit, teammates absolutely hating each other, racing and its adjacency to some absolutely wild pyramid scheme/money laundering/business nonsense.

Full Speed largely kept all of that behind closed doors. The drivers sometimes levied light critique at each other, or yelled on the radio, but it wasn't anything they wouldn't also say on broadcast TV. I think part of this is the nature of the narrative they chose: By the time the playoffs roll around, the teams involved are racing with relative budget parity; their sponsorship ducks are more or less in a row; no one had open contracts; Hendrick, for once in its life, did not have its engine curse on display. And the guys who happened to make it to the end of the playoffs all tend to be more low-key guys, outside the heat of actively racing. Like, I think you'd have to do some real, hardcore documentary work to peel back and find something really raw in... Christopher Bell, William Byron, Kyle Larson, and Ryan Blaney. Even bringing Ross Chastain in was fairly softball. The series definitely does the best with Denny. Denny is nuts and organically has a lot to offer a character profile! Series highlight: Absolutely Denny Hamlin, and his opening self-introduction in Episode 1. (Even though even Denny as more to offer than was given in the docu. Are we not going to talk about the fact that he has a race car parked in his living room?)

Overall though, in terms of driver personalities and team dynamics/business, it was a bit softball. I think part of this is just my own familiarity with the material, and knowing that there's actually more out there than made it into the documentary, which made it feel less like an investigative, character/industry-probing deep dive.

But honestly? I think a huge part of it is financial. The series felt like NASCAR was afraid to get too in the weeds because they didn't want anything in the documentary that would upset current sponsors, or seed doubt in the minds of any new ones. Like it needed to present a level of cohesion and viability in order to reassure the money. And from a storytelling perspective I think that's really unfortunate.

Verdict

I think Full Speed works best as *a* version of a NASCAR story, but not *the* NASCAR story. I'd love to see the series branch out, less so chronologically (e.g. covering the 2024 playoffs), but into different facets of the storylines that make up the sport.

My ideal branch? A "tale of two cities" approach where we follow, say, Penske, cut against a backmarker team, and the parallel narratives dive into how different running a NASCAR team can look at opposite ends of the money spectrum; how the goalposts change, the culture shifts, how different the off-track lives of those involved are.

I say "Penske" mostly because they're the current defending champions, but let it be known that in my heart I'd rather we just followed Denny again, LOL.

#nascar #nascar: full speed #real racing

[leiascully]

*lobs softball ship ask at you* MSR!

What made you ship it? The first episode I ever watched was Duane Barry so yeah, I was a goner right from the start. When she shows up and they have all those conversations with their eyes like some kind of Regency novel? Please. I'm so soft for "we understand each other like no one else does". Pretentious teen leiascully was simply LONGING for someone who was ~on her level~, who never had to refer directly to the thing because of the clever layers of metaphor and reference we could put around the thing. Also they're so fucking hot have you seen them.

What are your favorite things about the ship? They are so entirely devoted to each other, and mostly to the best versions of each other. And also they're super fucked up for each other. It's all very noble and chivalrous on some level, and also it feels queer to me even though it's a straight ship, which I've talked about before. I think part of that has to do with the things they don't talk about, constantly, so much so that a non-conversation is always happening around or below the actual conversation. The things they say with the way they turn their bodies toward each other are so eloquent. The show creates this incredible intimacy between them and brings the viewers into it, into the space between their parted lips. They're always whispering into our ears, blocking out the rest of the world.

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? I don't think MSR is the only way - I guess that's unpopular with some. And I don't think that their relationship is always healthy.

#chitchat #ask memes

[tiny012]

I talked about this on @greaserbloom1324 post but I'm going to put it on it's own.

One of the Quote Retweet of this scene explaining it a different way..

Which to me if you make that scene as being " Oh Am I not doing a good enough job to distract you from your sadness." instead of S.A.D trying to "replace" Mamo is still making the scene about them.

Because S.A.D is still not understanding the fact that when she saw that rose, everything she held on inside the whole season come out and it was not only just about Mamo. She literary have a group of friends and still feels utterly alone to the point that she didn't even tell them she heard nothing from Mamo. She has a guardian cat that she don't even tell her what's going on because she is so judgmental and still act like Usagi can't do the work. She misses not only Mamo that she doesn't know what's going on with him not retuning her calls or her letters but missing Chibiusa. She have to deal with Outers and the Starlights bullshit and how the Outers don't want to hang with S.A.D or be allies with the Starlights. While the Starlights don't want S.A.D to do the same thing. She constantly deal with the inners shit and how they acted like groupies while using her to try to get close to S.A.D the until they found out S.A.D and Starlights identities. Which the inners are completely useless in fights she is having now. She had to deal with S.A.D shit and not understanding that she have a boyfriend and just ask her to do things before just thinking she will automatedly do it with them. ( Softball episode). To top that all off she got to deal with Galaxia and her people stealing people Star Seed. All the while not having the one person that have been by her side since she become Sailor Moon. Mamoru.

So lets run that back.

She's dealing with

S.A.D 's Shit

Inners Shit

Outer's Shit

Starlight's Shit

Luna's Shit

Galaxia's Shit

Her own shit.

No 16 year old girl should have to deal with that much shit.

And it all come ahead with her seeing that rose and thing maybe just maybe he come back to her finally. That she's not alone.

The saddness she feels runs deep and just because you think you finally decided to stop " shoot your shot" and be supported of her you think it's going to "Proof" magically disappear. Because you make her smile or laugh for a few minutes.

Naw dear

It doesn't work that way.

No way in hell does it way that way.

Because it's more than her missing her boyfriend.

Honestly, Usagi was depressed this season and you can't tell me otherwise. So no amount of S.A.D trying to make her " happy" would actually make her " happy" if she's not mentally.

You would done so much better if you would have hug her or just told her " Come on lets get you out of this rain."

That would have show more support then saying " Am I not good enough" because you are doing a couple things with that one line.

You are setting yourself up for failure and hurt by putting yourself in a situation that runs deeper than you ever know .

You making her feel guilty for even finally expressing her feelings to someone she thought she could FINALLY trust. That even people she knew for five seasons didn't even get that.

That's why I'm glad we got Sailor Moon Cosmos! lol

#tanya rants about sm

[riley-gordon]

I hid my mental health issues for 12 years and I need someone to relate to

Pt. 1

When I was 6, I started having panic attacks. I always had them in the school bathroom during lunch time and frequently threw up during those episodes. My parents took me to the doctors, they gave me a strong antacid, and introduced me to the diagnosis that would proceed to rule my whole life: Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

I had a friend named Olivia. Olivia was good. We were friends from birth and she was the person I would always go crying to whenever I had a panic attack at school (which was quite frequently). On top of this, I always was different than the other kids at school. I am from a very small rural town, and the small, nerdy girl who cried a lot ended up getting isolated because of it. I thought that there was something wrong with me, I thought that I was the problem in this situation because I was the only one having these feelings.

My mother was a teacher at this school, and every time I tried to tell her about my problems, they were shut down and I was told that I had no reason to complain. I was told that the other kids had it a lot worse than I did, so I should just stay quiet and be happy. So, I stayed quiet, yet I never ended up being happy.

Up to about 8th grade, I stayed anxious and quiet, having only my friend Olivia, who at this point had started to form her own friends, leading to a drift between us. In 8th grade, I think I became depressed. All I knew is that I wanted to hurt myself for being weird, for being different from the other kids at school. I tried many different ways of injuring myself, but I settled on scratching myself to the point of bleeding in neat lines on my forearm. I don't remember too much from this time, as 5 years have passed since then, but I do remember one thing. I was crying out for help without saying anything. Some of the kids around me noticed the marks on my arms, but any time that anyone my age mentioned it I would lie my way out of the situation. I would however write about feeling depressed and not wanting to be around anymore and submit those pieces to my writing teacher. I would purposely wear short sleeves and set my forearms out so that my homeroom teacher would see and tell someone. But the adults must have been blind. I am choosing to believe that they simply just didn't see, because it makes me uncomfortable to think they would ignore those things for any reason.

I slowly got better in the 8th grade, I ended up joining the softball team and ended up slowly gaining a bit of weight. Something that is of note in my life is the fact that I have always been borderline underweight. Knowing what I know now, I just have never been eating enough. I thought that I was simply meant to be skinny, but I just didn't have the motivation to eat food because I was so anxious about the things going on in my life.

In 9th grade, I started hanging out more with two friends that I have known since birth. I love them like sisters, but I think at this point we were all struggling and not talking about it. I could do a detailed separate post about the things that they and their separate group did to my mental health. The gist of it is that I was more social than ever but felt so isolated, I was the butt of every joke and was bullied for being a lesbian (I am mostly straight), and was constantly told that I was weird and would be forever alone. Ironically enough half of those people have only had failed situationships and I now have a boyfriend who accepts me in my entirety.

Then Covid happened. I often wonder how my life could've ended up if Covid never happened and if I had stayed with that group, I wonder if I would've ended up making it this far if I had.

Covid zapped through my Freshman and Sophomore year and it was mostly the same for me mentally. Generally pretty anxious about everything, constantly being reminded about my lack of weight, and staying top of my class in school. It was around this time I started carefully crafting an image for myself.

#perfectionism #depressing shit #anxiety #anxi4ty #alone with my thoughts #you are not alone #secre

[millennialgrandma]

15 Questions/15 People

Rules: answer these 15 questions and tag 15 people

Thanks for the tag, @schmem14! This seems like an excellent way to put off the last few tasks of my work day 🙃

Are you named after anyone? Nope! My name has no familial significance. My parents just liked the names together.

When was the last time you cried? Two nights ago when I finally watched the third season of Derry Girls - those last two episodes took me the fuck out. WAIT. This is actually a lie. I cried last night watching Vir Das' covid comedy special on Netflix.

Do you have kids? No, but I have no shortage of little humans in my life that leave their smudgy little fingerprints on my heart 💗

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Honestly, yes. Though incrementally less as the years pass.

What's the first thing you notice about people? Oooohhh this is a thinker. Now I'm going "oh my god, when was the last time we saw people? Do we? See people?" 😂😂 I'm thinking back to a meeting I had a couple days ago, and I'd say the first thing I noticed when I walked in the room was what color of clothing people were wearing (there was an inexplicable amount of red in that room). This makes it easier to find them again after the initial noticing 😆 I'd say this is typically followed by their facial expressions/mood, so that I can vary my approach to how I interact to put the other person most at ease.

What's your eye color? Listen, this is actually a very big point of contention for me. At first glance, they appear brown. Just regular, run-of-the-mill brown. But CLOSE UP and IN THE LIGHT it becomes evident that around my pupil is a ring of honeyed brown, and then a lighter golden green, and then a darker green around the outside. The point is, there is GREEN in my eyes, and my entire family has been playing a game the last decade where they refuse to acknowledge the existence of any bit of green in my eyes and they are EVIL FOR IT.

Scary movies or happy endings? Give me a happy ending, but make me suffer so hard for it. I categorically do not like to be scared. That being said, I once went to a showing of Jaws where you float in tubes on a giant lake at night with the movie projected on a screen on the shore. Legs dangling, not touching the bottom, in the dark while watching a shark movie. There is only one explanation for the decisions that led me to that moment and that explanation is demon possession.

Any special talents? Yes, and that is my ability to make a disaster out of literally every kitchen I've ever set foot in. If I make something, I also make a mess. Those are the rules.

Where were you born? In the heart of the U.S. Midwest.

What are your hobbies? Does collecting hobbies count as a hobby? I'm actually so good at getting really interested in something, going balls to the wall, and then losing interest for 6-72 business months because something else caught my attention (see knitting, creative journaling, paper crafts). Reading is the one constant, and I guess writing belongs on this list now.

Do you have any pets? I like other people's pets, but I just don't think I'm a pet person myself, you know? We never had inside pets growing up. And I travel for work, so it doesn't really seem practical.

What sports do you play/have you played? I'm far more creatively than athletically inclined. Growing up I played softball and volleyball. I was a social tennis player (read: ya girl was Not Good™️). But I was more of a band/choir/theater/speech kid, and carried the choir and theater aspects forward into college.

How tall are you? I am 5 ft + 4.75 inches (or about 164.5 cm). Shortest one in my family. The only reason my mom and I are the same height now is because she started shrinking.

Favorite subject in school? Honestly, I loved every subject. I just loved to learn. Even in college, I don't think I could give an answer. I loved taking history courses. And I loved my finance and accounting courses because I adore financial analysis.

Dream job? I'm living it: a job where I get to interact with coworkers and the public; where I get to constantly learn new things; where assignments and teammates rotate; where I can apply for special assignments; that pays me a comfortable salary; that has great health and fringe benefits; that keeps me from getting bored.

Tagging 15 people feels exhausting, so let's go with a smaller multiple of 5 and say 10. Please feel free to ignore or participate as you are able (or please join in if you'd like to and weren't tagged): @akorah @eveningstruggle @whimsymanaged @echoesofmyfootsteps @juls99 @roseharpermaxwell @pia-bartolini @petalsfordraco @they-call-me-megs @sunlightdaydream

#tag game #get to know me

[feathersandfoxtails]

15 questions to get to know me

Bestie @oonajaeadira didn't tag me in this but I'm gonna do it anyway just to spite her.

1. are you named after anyone?

No and I'm a bit salty about that. I have two brothers and they both have family names. My name was picked at random and my middle name was originally going to be my first name until my mother heard a terrible nickname for it at the grocery store. I am so thankful for that because I HATE my middle name and don't use it unless legally required.

2. when was the last time you cried?

Last night! It was just a few tears, but I just started watching Euphoria and have been cruising through it and watched Season 2 episode 5, "Stand Still Like the Hummingbird," which was gut-wrenching and also one of the best episodes of TV I've ever seen.

3. do you have kids?

Nope and that's not going to happen. For the longest time I didn't want kids and then I went through a few years where I did, and now I'm just happy being the weird aunt to kids who aren't even related to me.

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

I try not to. The majority of the time it comes off as cruel to me.

5. what’s the first thing you notice about people?

Weirdly, their hair. It's weird because I know nothing about hair or hairstyles but maybe my eyes just start with the top of the head when I meet someone. But I find myself thinking a lot, "wow, they have cool hair!"

6. what’s your eye colour?

Yellow ring around the pupil, blue ring around the outside, green in the middle. I do love them even though an optometrist once asked me what I say my eye color is and I said, "hazel?" uncertainly and they replied, completely deadpan, "That's a made-up color." So I just say "green."

Also fun fact: my dad and I have the exact same weird eye color AND are the only two in my immediate family who are near sighted.

7. scary movies or happy endings?

scary! sometimes I need a good happy ending, but a lot of the time I get mad when I feel like it's not earned.

8. any special talents?

I'm a really fast learner of anything I'm interested in. Also very good at teaching myself new skills.

9. where were you born?

a stupid town in Minnesota. but now I live in an awesome city in Minnesota and never go back there.

10: what are your hobbies?

Reading, writing, video games, puzzles, knitting, gardening, house projects, and hiking. I just want to be an old timey spinster.

11. have you any pets?

I have the best pets! My two black cats who are twin boys (from the same litter). They're sweet and snuggly and sometimes are assholes and are very entertaining. They totally make my life better and the three of us are super bonded.

12: what sports do you play/have you played?

Growing up my dad and older brother were really into sports and I tried to follow suit but was terrible at everything I tried. I did softball, basketball, tennis, and golf. My other problem was I just didn't care about winning or not and everyone else did, which I thought was dumb. I just wanted to have fun.

Thankfully I also did music and theatre and thrived in those. When I was older I trained in martial arts for ten years, which was the first time I realized all the things my body could do because I wasn't competing, just learning. I also do open water swimming in the summers, just because I really like to swim.

13: how tall are you?

5′9″

14. favourite subject in school?

"Language Arts" (English) was always my favorite, as well as orchestra, theatre, and art.

15. dream job?

I want to be retired and travel a lot. Seriously. If I had the choice, I would not work. Or maybe run a B&B in Costa Rica.

tagging: @beecastle @serpentstyles @nissameta1782 @trinikins @sunflowersturn and anyone else who is interested: MAKE A NEW POST with your answers!

#personal

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 14, "It Should Have Been Lorelai"

Oh thank god! There's a Breather episode before the next Shitshow Circus episode, Lost and Found, which I still don't know if I'll even bother watching. Sure this episode has Christopher in it but I can tolerate him and I can tolerate his shitty annoying relationship with Lorelai because it's utterly meaningless to me. Someone rescue me from the back half of Season 2, it's a fucking nightmare. I didn't finish A Tisket A Tasket, because my blood pressure rises with each and every passive aggressive comment that comes out of Lorelai Gilmore's mouth and I just could not take it anymore. So anyhow, dk how it ended exactly, but it looks like Lor and Ror have made up after their "Jess is Bad News" fight. Whee. Phones and doorbells seem to ring constantly in this episode so throughout today's insane rambling I'm going to make a game out of guessing who's butting in to the Gilly Girl's lives. Feel free to play along. Rory: Let's sit at the counter. Lorelai: Oooh, we could sit at opposite ends and play bagel hockey! Luke: Just sit at a table. Lorelai: You're awfully rude to someone who only has two paying customers. Are those two paying customers in the bathroom right now? They're not you and Rory that's for sure. #PayLukeForYourFood RINGING PHONE OR DOORBELL: #1. The phone rings at the diner and someone is asking for Rory which is weird. Is it Jess or Christopher? LOL, that's silly, Jess lives there. I bet it's Christopher.

Oop, swing and a miss for TWWGG.

Having not seen the ending of the last episode ,I must assume Lane has been grounded for 25 years for Talking To A Boy. And I was correct.

Lane: It's the mother of all groundings. I'm being home schooled for two weeks. I only have 5 minutes a day to talk on the phone. She's done everything but slap a Dr.Dre ankle bracelet on me. I know who Dr. Dre is but that was a topical reference that whoosed right over my head and I had to Google it. #DeepCut Lane: Give me some news. Rory: Dean's been working extra hours to save up for a new motorcycle so I hardly see him. She wants to you to tell her something interesting, not give her the Butthead News and Weather Report. Count your blessings that you're in a Dean drought. It's all a girl could ever ask for. To not see Dean Forrester for weeks.

I'm placing money on them bringing back this Dean Rides a Motorcycle nonsense that they haven't mentioned in a literal forever only because Christopher is coming back to town and also rides a motorcycle and the two clowns are going to bond over it like they did over softball (Dean never plays softball again after Christopher left). Then it will be promptly forgotten about again, and Dean will be back to having the personality of an amorphous blob, just blobbing about with no real hobbies, interests or passions besides stacking cans of string beans for mininimum wage and yelling at Rory. I've seen this show several times, but when an episode is this unmemorable* I can just while away my time making predictions about what's going to happen.

*unmemorable=Little to No DALA (dean and lorelai affair) or Jess Involvement Rory segues from "Butthead has been working overtime for weeks” straight into "Mom and I haven't done laundry in weeks" and doesn't explain why, which makes it sound like Dean had been doing their laundry until he started working overtime. He probably pockets Lorelai's panties. Time for a Where's Jess break? Where's Jess? (I think this is one of those episodes where they just stick him on at the end wiping down counters or something. PLEASE let it be on those episodes. PLEASE let it be a Counter WIping episode. I need a fucking break). RINGING PHONE OR DOORBELL #2 (doorbell this time) I bet it's Dean Dean Stacks The Stringbeans.

YAY! It's just Rory's lover, looking like a lost puppy dog. Oh, so I forgot to mention Rory and Paris are going to be in a debate at school and participating on the same team. *inhales deeply* Smell that? That's the smell of sweet, sweet, low stakes, No-Boy filler plot. How I missed ye. Paris shows up at the Gilly Girls house to see Rory under the guise of "we need more preparation before the debate/you need to learn to speak faster" in the same way that Dean shows up to "Change Lorelai's water bottle" or "Do her laundry".

Out Of Context Gilly GIrls Time for An Ancient Technology break! (ATB) Paris: I was making CD recordings from the cassettes I made of our mock debates... Say no more Paris, say no more. *basks in the gentle glow of Early 2000's Technology references* RINGING PHONE OR DOORBELL #3 (phone rings for Lorelai) Definitely has to be Christopher this time.

*deep shudder* Everytime Christopher says "Lor" and Logan says "Ace" an angel stubs their toe.

HOW CONVENIENT.

I really wish she would, my girl needs a break. Anyway Crusty is in town on business and so Lorelai invites Crustypher to Rory's debate and he accepts and my sweet summer child RoryGil is excited that her dad will be there (or so he says...) RINGING PHONE OR DOORBELL #4. Prediction: Dean. Second Place Prediction:Lane Again Third Place Prediction: Jess (Why do I keep assuming Jess is going to call Rory? That's so silly).

Lane wants Rory to pick up a new CD for her when she couldn't get Amazon to overnight it to her and again I'm just floored whenever this show reminds me that Amazon was around in 2002. Describe The Fathers on Gilmore Girls in 6 Words or Less. Go. Lorelai: Do you see Christopher anywhere? Sookie: Uhhh.no.

Brad is me slogging through Season 2 torture.

This looks like something straight out of the opening credits of a corny sitcom. "...Special Guest, Christopher Hayden as Sperm Donor/ Buttclown #2" *sitcom music plays*

Oh, Sherrie. Another innocent lamb lost to the clutches of a Gilmore World Man. Let us pray.

Another snapshot of my Season 2 torture. No Lorelai! Stop! it's okay! Please! I don't need to hear how Dean is tall and pretty again! I GET IT! Waaah. Rory and Paris win the debate. Rory to Christopher in an innocent, chipper, cheerful chipmunk voice that belies the deep seated trauma of being a child with an absent father: Dad, you came to see me! I'm not used to that! Christopher, not so much as blinking at his child calling him a deadbeat dad to his face, while smiling goofily: This is Sherry!

.....?!

Lorelai invites Crusty and poor Sherrie back to their house, and Christopher seems excited to see the house his daughter lives in since he never visits.

Out of context Gilly Girls My dear readers, I hope you one day find someone who looks at you the way Paris looks at Rory. Paris is crushed when Rory tells her she has plans with her deadbeat father and she won't be able to hang out with her post-debate and compare WPMs, braid each others hair, practice kissing...

My dear readers, I hope you one day find your person, the special person like Paris, someone who feels a deep, crushing sorrow n their heart when you tell them you have other plans even though you'll see them at school again in less than 24 hours, causing them to lash out at you like they're fooling anybody with their Oh Whatever That's Just Fine'ing. Ror and Lor rush home and Lorelai says there is no food in the house again except leftover cheese & crackers and Halloween candy. Lorelai does not feed her child or do laundry. In addition to every character on this show needing the services of a competent therapist and accountant, The Hollow needs a visit from Child Protective Services. For pennies a day, you can sponsor a starving child, a poor innocent soul forced to subsist on crackers, candy, coffee and greasy diner food. Your donation will also go towards the purchase of laundry detergent for this smelly unwashed family. Jess’ mother never cooked either so I guess that’s another argument for Literati Soulmates! That special bond over shared Child Neglect!

Sherry showers Rory with compliments and invites her shopping, but then isolates Lorelai and says this...weirdness: Sherrie: I just want you to know you shouldn't feel like you have to get to know me. At all. Just because Christopher and I are close doesn't mean we need to be close, or friends, or anything for that matter. But i desperately want to get to know Rory. Ummm..the audacity to say something like that to the mother of your boyfriend's child 30 minutes after you meet her after she invited you into her home and offered you apple juice? And you "desperately" want to get know his child? This is shady. Sherrie: You know, if we didn't meet unexpectedly today, we'd probably never meet. Because your boyfriend never visits his daughter, right. Sherrie: Rory is so important to him. He is obsessive about his "call dates" to her! No matter where we are what we're doing he has to call her every Wednesday at 7pm! I like that about him! To be so blissfully ignorant and delusional and actually believe what Christopher says! Oh honey. It's like she's got the soft outer shell of Rory but also hangs on to whatever bullshit spews forth from the piehole of an immature worthless manboy pissbaby like Lorelai does whenever Dean speaks. Sad that the best Rory can expect from Crusty is one "call date" per week and I absolutely don't believe even he's even doing that, Sherrie's been brainwashed, but hey! At least he's better than Jimmy Mariano. I guess? #BattleOfTheDeadbeats

Sherry after Crusty happily admits to her that he was (is) a deadbeat dad:

First Rule of Gilmore World: Never trust a Gilmore World man when he says he's trying to change. Never ever. Lorelai says "he's been doing very well with it" just to placate Sherry when honestly she should be shoving this Sherrie woman out the door already and telling her to never come within 100 miles of her or her child again.

She goes on to say that she needs Rory for something very important, she needs her tonight, there is something so pressing and urgent that Rory needs to be excused from FND for this yet unknown Extremely Pressing Urgent Event and she needs her ALONE. This is verging into very concerning territory. Lorelai should be highly concerned. Lorelai, I am concerned that you don't seem more concerned and you agreed to let your teenage daughter go to an unknown place alone with this woman you just met. RINGING PHONE/DOORBELL #5 This call is recieved at the Gilly Girl house while they're with Christopher and Sherry. Okay, I'm clueless for this one. I have to say Lane again, there's no one else. Emily? Dean just because he hasn't shown up to ruin this respectable Breather episode yet?

LOL! That was fun. I chuckled. Rory is going to this unknown thing with Sherrie which is a setup Christopher to go with Lorelai to FND by themselves. Okay, before I conclude part 1 of this commentary (which has already taken several hours and I still have 20 minutes left) I am DYING to see why this Sherrie wants to isolate Rory and I hope it's not gruesome. Rory Gil, we hardly knew ye.

RoryGIl's about to become the hostage here. Blink twice if you need help. My only guess for why Sherry needs to isolate Rory so badly, will be something about asking her for blessing to marry Crusty or something. I really don't know. Neither Lor nor Rory has asked Sherry or Christopher where Rory will be going. RING RING! #6 (as the Gily Girls are getting dressed for FND/ for Rory to be lead to a gruesome end by a child kidnapper) Well it has to be Crusty or Sherry this time. Who else? LANE AGAIN!!! LOL.

THIS IS SO MUCH FUN. I need the phone to ring a seventh time! Sherry and Christopher arrive and finally mention that Sherry will be taking Rory to a movie (then buttering her up with popcorn before she meets a gruesome fate at the hands of a child kidnapper). With Rory out the door, Christopher and Lorelai are alone and Crusty attemps to gastlight Lorelai, probably hoping it'll get him into her pants. L: Was Sherrie with you when I called you? Crusty: She's been with me the whole time. L: You gave me no indication she was with you. C: I must have. L: No, singular pronouns all the way. C: Now I don't remember what I said. L: I do. You said, "I'll be there." Just you. C: I guess I may have said that but I wasn't making a point of saying that. Okay, I am pulling my very, very, very rare and worthless Christopher Card because he just said something not enough people say to Lorelai and it delighted me.

Bahahahaha you're such a prick but it's so true! Lorelai is such a judgemental bitch! More people should say it to her face! Bahahaha! For this one fleeting moment in time you're not so Crusty after all. I'm out of space for screen shots but I MUST KNOW WHERE RORY WENT and I will not cease or yield until we get there. Lorelai attempts to gain some clarity from Crusty on why Sherrie was acting like a fucking weirdo to her in the kitchen. Lorelai: Oh good, you weren't trying to have me killed or anything. Crusty: I was just going over my People To Kill list and you weren't on it.

Ha...ha? Lorelai, I am once again concerned by your lack of concern over certain comments that are very concering, WHERE IS RORY!!! IS SHE OK?! Christopher has a lot of F U C K I N G A U D A C I T Y to try and guilt Lorelai into feeling bad that she didn't consider Christopher's role in Rorys life while she was dating Max, um I'm sorry which one of you is the deadbat here? I tried to write "Deadbeat" but dead-bat has certain charm as well. Crusty wonders why Max was able to get closer to Rory but he should be made to feel bad that he wants Sherry to spend time with her. Doofus, it could be because Rory LIVES with Lorelai and also Max was also her English teacher that she saw 5 days a week? And you're just a dead-bat. Every other male in Rory's life including Kirk and Paul Anka have been better father figures to Rory than you have. WHERE IS RORY!!! WHAT IS SHERRY DOING WITH HER? I'm skipping past Judgy and Doofus at a Looooong and surely pointless FND Dinner scene and going straight to the next scene with Rory.

I...uhhhhh...Um. Surely Lorelai will be very concerned over this very concerning statement which should concern her. SURELY, you can put aside your little quips for just a moment when your daughter tells you she just spent the evening with a touchy feely adult stranger. Right, Dog Sweater? RIGHT?

Ugh. In addition, Sherrie confided in Rory (still a total stranger to her and a child who she took out alone hours after meeting her) a concerning amount of details about her personal life, including the details of all of her past relationships. Sherry was acting way too weird to not have some kind of ulterior motive but Rory is just not being very helpful at all in regards to what it is yet, and I want to shake her I'm so frustrated. But my eyes are bleary and my hands are cramping up and I can't continue. In part 2, I'll unpack this highly disturbing conversation some more and hopefully get to the bottom of this Sherrie Weirdness.. Goo night!

#Gilmore Girls #Gilmore GIrls Season 2 #It Should Have been Lorelai #Denise Rewatches Gilmore Girls #Rory Gilmore #Lorelai Gilmore #luke danes #crusty #Sherrie Weirdness #I don’t remember her being this shady #yet it’s still so peaceful with no Jess or Dean #ahhh #so nice #crusty burger #paris geller #Paris and Rory #sitting in a tree #kissing and stuff #Idk why I pour my blood sweat and tears into these things and no one reads them #I must love the gilly girls a lot

[jillnoteboom]

Blog #1

Hi! My name is Jillian Noteboom! I'm German, Dutch, Polish, Italian and Irish. My great grandma on my fathers side is Jewish and my great grandparents on my mothers side are immigrants from Italy. My first name is Jillian. There isn't necessarily an origin of the name but my parents picked it because it was clearly a girls name, it was easy to spell, and it isn't a very popular name. My last name Noteboom is actually dutch and it means nut tree. I like my name a lot because I feel like it's unique, but if I had to change my name I'd change it to Meg. She's the character from Hercules that Hercules falls for. I love her personality and she's one of my favorite Disney characters. I love her wit and how nonchalant she is about everything. She holds a power in her walk and she has so much confidence. So I would love to change my name to Meg because I feel like having that name and being able to embody the character would be so cool.

I went to Goshen for my whole education. Walking in on the first day was exciting but overwhelming. I remember my first day of school outfit. I wore a blue denim skirt, a navy blue T-shirt tucked in, with a black belt, and these light blue slip on vans. It was such a weird experience carrying my backpack around all day instead of putting it into my locker. The ending of my high school experience was so incredibly different though. Starting my senior year we were completely virtual. So I went to my first class on zoom literally in my pajamas. On my last day of high school we had a senior pranks. We didn't go to class or anything. We brought a grill to the parking lot and had water pong set up and lawn chairs, and the whole senior class basically skipped and hung out in the parking lot for the day. It was such a weird feeling there was suddenly no cliques and everyone was just together enjoying our last moments together. It felt united. My favorite experience from high school was when we threw our caps up at graduation. It was surreal. There was cheering and hugging and crying. It was like a huge flashback of our whole life. I mean most of the people in my graduating class had been together since kindergarten. I played softball all through middle school and high school. We made it to sections when I was a senior. We were in the closest game I've ever played and we lost our last game in my high school career. We made it to sections and we lost. It was heart breaking. We had worked so hard and only lost two games the whole season and then when it came to the end we lost. Looking back I don't have many regrets, but I do wish I had talked to more people. I wish I was more outgoing and had pushed myself and not cared so much what everyone around me thought. I wish I had had more confidence in myself and been able to make more friends.

I'm currently an English major and I plan on graduating this summer and walking this spring in graduation. I enjoy reading a lot and I also really enjoy taking a text and breaking it apart and finding the meanings the author wrote about. I really like looking at a piece of poetry and find all the hidden, literal, and figurative meanings behind it. Moving forward after OCCC I plan on attending SUNY Albany and possibly continuing with English. I want to follow the path of either communication, journalism, or marketing. I like the idea of being able to have creativity with my job. I like coming up with new ideas and problem solving. My inspiration for this came from my love of reading and being transported to another world. I also always enjoyed having creative outlets like art.

In my spare time I enjoy going to the gym and I will also be playing softball at OCCC this semester. I enjoy watching anime. I used to be super against watching it for no reason. I thought it was dumb, but my boyfriend really liked it and he sat me down and forced me to watch an episode and I instantly took back everything I said. I ended up really enjoying it. I started going to the gym just cause I wanted to get into shape and become more toned, but after going consecutively I realized it was really helping with my anxiety. I've felt considerably less stressed and anxious since I started going to the gym on a regular basis. I don't watch many movies. I have a hard time being able to force myself to sit there for two hours and watch a movie, but I could binge a TV show all day. The most recent movie I watched was Avatar. It was honestly SO good. Thoroughly enjoyed it. I also really enjoyed the newest season of Ginny and Georgia. My favorite film is Nerve. I've watched it probably 23 times. I just love the music and the characters and that there's some action but also love. I absolutely hate The Walking Dead. I don't like scary things, or zombies. It freaks me out. I like to write poetry, so the last thing I created was a poem. I like to write when I fell a type of way. I think that it's a good way to truly let your emotions out and explain how you're feeling, even if no ones reading it. My favorite food in the whole world is pizza. So if I had to choose my last food it would be that. There's so many different toppings. You could basically put anything on pizza and it would be good.