#sorry I had to vent a little

[angelic-eros]

Sometimes I wonder how much of myself I have to bend and shape and work around before someone will say they’re proud of what I’ve become

#I’ve done so much this year #I’ve been published as a model in a magazine and a book #my face was on display at comic con this year #I did my first ad job #I’ve travelled across the country for conventions #I’ve finally started earning money for my work #and I still feel like it’s not enough #or that this is just the standard somehow #because no one seems interested in any of this #and I’m starting to feel like all of this is just expected of someone creative and I’m stupid for being excited #sorry I had to vent a little #I’m very tired #and I feel shitty #and I want to feel talented #or pretty or photogenic or something #my copy of the magazine I’m in arrived today #and all I can think about is how many people just stared at me when I told them like it was nothing to them #or sent one word responses #and I don’t get it #vent

[radioactive-earthshine]

NGL I have STRONG opinions about digital releases omitting the letters to the editor section of older comics. I feel like the letters are a part of comic history and should be aggressively preserved.

#look i was a weirdo and loved the letters so much #so much #so fucking damn much #i still to this day mourn that we don't have them #sometimes the editors would publish blatant aggressive criticism and promise to do better on some things #it was rare but it did happen in a handful of things involving stereotypes #also there is queer history in them such as in superboy and the ravers where people wrote in about hero #asking WHY he was not interested in women and this editor had to so professionally explain that he was GAY and where they stood on it #you also got to read queer readers writing in about these queer characters and the JOY in their words is priceless #also sorry but geoff's letters are fun and stupid at the same time and are a huge insight to what his hcs were #he LOVED tiny krypto so much it likely inspired him making dex starr bc he loved the idea of a small overly powered animal #not saying that was the main reason why ofc but it is interesting that he created dex after praising that mean little mutt #i say with the most love #my venting #my rambles

[thwackk]

mayb i’ll post my boosters here too

#im kinda back mayb #i missed interacting with ppl on here too much yall are so fun #booster gold #DC #i wish i had time to color them but alas. #speaking of which if anyone wants to color these go ahead idm at all my only request is that you show me cause i would be delighted asf #to see that #my house is still unsafe but im playin it rlly cautiously #😎 #been having the worst fucking week of my entire life it’s been awful but the little heroes in my brain have kept me sane #sorry for venting slightly in the tags dont read em

[angelpuns]

I wish my parents understood that when I am having a Bad Time ( meltdown) that I need to be left alone because if they come into my room or ask what's wrong or literally even look at me they're actively making it worse

#also this is how it has worked since i was little #anyway #im so #they have good intentions #most of the time #but i just need to be alone #i haven't had a big one like this in a while #augh #its cause im living with my parents agaun #vent tw #sorry for vent #im having a bad time

[fuckingstupidbracket]

like a regular bin, not even recycled or anything

#poll #okay so uh #dont read the tags ahead unless you care about my little vent #my mom got me a hoodie in December from shein #even tho i had two very similar hoodies already both from better brands #still fast fashion but not as fast #and one of them was modded by me #but the hoodie was fucking soft and comfy and good length so it quickly became my favourite hoodie #according to my mother tho after a month she started complaining that it's ugly. #it had those little balls idk what they're called but #1 i don't fucking care #2 they're removable #so anyway fot the past week or two shes been complaining every time i wore the hoodie and today she screamed at me and threw it in the trash #she also kicked me but thats unrelated #and like even if she bought me a new identical one that wouldn't help at all cause she still threw my stuff in the trasg #and bought from a company that goes against my values #and she keeps excusing it like “its cheaper” #im sorry but buying one good thing and wearing it too death is cheaper than buying a hundred things you throw away after less than 3 months #so fucking sick of this!!!!!!!! #i have more than enough clothes too and am currently trying to get rid of some #BUT NOT LIKE THAT WHAT THE FUCK #btw my vinted is dupiarz it's mostly stuff from 2017-2020 so not really trendy but maybe youd like something #the pnly clothing i dont bother repairing and just throw out is underwear #but i do fix socks because good socks are good socks

[rapidhighway]

#okay sorry for venting but i’ve been processing that session for months #like im the one who fucked up that session because i couldnt make myself say anything and actually naming any problem i have #felt like im begging to have a bunch of excuses #and god that paychologist really made me feel like i imagined all of that for attention and now im back here again and im once again #realizing my brain is just fucked up and what do i do now because if i went to a session now #i would be in the same situation where i can’t say anything that actually bothers me #so i guess im in deep shit forever or at least until i stop having some fucking mental block or whatever #im just fucking tired bro……. #she told me everyone is a little bit autsitic and that’s it WHAT #bro if i had little enough symptoms of whatever that i could do stuff by myself anyway i wouldnt fucking be ghere paying 200zł for the most #ruining hours of my life thank you so much. #instead i have to use everyone in my life as a crutch because i literally just can’t function without help IUOUOUGHHH #god im so sorry okay im gone im just really going through it rn #vent

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

current editing moodboard, please send help

#perfectionism is really kicking my butt rn #that and the fact i had like a week away from writing properly bc chronic pain and now i can’t get back into the headspace #so yeah #perfectionism and brain fog #the inimitable duo #and i know i just need to be patient because it’ll get in the end there like it always does #but rn i’ve spent two nights in a row trying to polish up the last bits of this chapter #and i still just feel so detached from it all i want to pitch my laptop out the window #but i can’t afford a new laptop each time i want to defenestrate it #so this little rant will have to do instead #UGH #it’s so annoying because i am actually so so proud of this chapter and have loved writing it and can’t wait to share it #it’s just this last little bit that i seem to be hitting a brick wall with #anyway sorry #four walls readers don't worry i go through this just about every chapter lol #i'm just feeling it particularly this time because it's a particularly big chapter (both in terms of length and content) #and sometimes venting in the tags and creating an alex moodboard is very therapeutic #writing stuff #alex turner #writer's block #lulu posts

[chrollohearttags]

gonna get a lil personal and rant bc therapy is expensive and talking to black parents abt mental health is a fate worse than death. ☠️☠️

negl, I feel like I’m in need of a self care day or some time off. Don’t remember the last time I’ve traveled or gone somewhere besides the grocery store. Like I’m feeling super isolated and lonely as of late. It’s frustrating seeing all of these people get to do things. Watching people have groups of friends to hang out with and partners while I’m just circling my house/town with no one to call a friend and def not a potential relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super grateful to work from home and run my own business + I really wouldn’t trade it for a thing but it seems to be all I do, and there’s no reward tbh. Granted, I’m blessed to be able to do so and I’m more than glad to help my family bc if I were living with roommates or by myself, I’d be screwed so I really don’t mind that. I’m blessed to have my family. But I feel a little frustrated because it feels like I’m the only one who does. Both me and my brother still live at home and it’s bc of that, that I can afford to run a business, work shorter hours, etc but I’m also the only one that works, buys groceries, helps with bills and house expenses…and he has pretty severe Crohn’s disease so I try to be empathetic and understand that he can’t do physical work the way he used to but it also feels as if he doesn’t try to do anything to take care of himself or anyone else. And admittedly, I’ve enabled a lot of his behavior bc I’ve felt bad that he can’t get out of the house as much. I paid for his gaming computer, I buy him food, games and pretty much anything else. I even sacrificed getting my vehicle fixed so that he could have a $300 computer part bc it made him happy. My parents are essentially disabled (my mom’s been dealing with complex migraines for years and my dad had horrible COVID) but even so, we all pull our weight except for him. Idk, I don’t wanna sound selfish or ungrateful but sometimes, I wish I could pour a little into myself. I wish I had somebody to take care of me and tell me it’s all good. I just want to be helpful and useful so I feel as if I’m not contributing then I’m doing something wrong but for once, I just want to have a little something left for myself.

#sorry for the long winded rant #and sadness #I just needed to vent #and get this off my chest #literally had a breakdown Thursday night lmaoo #cherry chats 🍒 #I’m just a little burned out #but I’m good!! #don’t worry about me #cw vent #cw rant

[lynxfrost13]

Sometimes it’s okay to not be happy with what you make, especially when it’s something new.

#my art #traditional art #ough I will say it outright i know these pieces should’ve been and COULDVE been better if I’d had more time #I don’t usually work with traditional stuff and these were for an event. anyway!!! it’s okay!!! what that means #is that I have so much more to learn!!! #and also even though they’re not great it was fun to play with mediums. I’m going to do it more often bc that’s how I’ll improve #I’ve always wanted to get good at painting and humans so this is a good jumping off point #anyway tldr what this means is that I might be posting more varied things that aren’t as good in the future #but I’m gonna be brave anyway #sorry for venting a little!!!

[aimasup]

Okay here's some confession stuff/vent/whatever below. This is a long long one folks

It's about Vivziepop, and some other thoughts I've been sitting on over the years

I have mixed feelings about Vivziepop right now. Not really because of the irl controversies, there's a bunch of sides providing a bunch of points and I'm not smart enough to know who to believe, but also the fact that Vivziepop's work right now seems to be reflecting a consistent style that I'm not sure I'm comfortable with.

Not to go into detail but it reminds me of how obsessed I used to be with 'representing' things but in a very. suggestive-nsfw, at best inappropriate or tone-deaf manner.

This hurts because vivziepop , along with many online artists, was a huge influence on my art growing up and has always been a major motivator for me, but I don't feel like things have aged well, I could've been smarter, and.

idk. There's a lot of negative feelings here and it's kinda freeing to feel so distanced from my old content. Especially since I can better pick apart the many reasons I used to think the way I did. I'm still trying to be better

What even was the point of this, to announce that I don't really like Hazbin Hotel anymore? To announce my 'tragic past' unto others? I talk with people who do enjoy Helluva Boss on here and I'm lucky that they are, as far as I know, positive individuals. I guess I just wanna be honest right now and better lay it all out in some place

#my post #vent #personal stuff #hazbin critical #helluva critical #vivziepop critical #this isn't a sudden realization #it's a buildup of little things I've always found a little weird but brushed off because I was having a good time #and though old times are fond to me they also weren't too beneficial and honestly #I was not the fun kind of cringe #sorry yall had to see this

[spinnydraws]

// vent

I have such a lovehate relationship with Ralsei fans cuz some of em are like cool and stuff, but there are sooooooo many people who sexualize the poor guy and it makes me very very angry. So many people argue that Ralsei is like an adult and it's the stupidest thing ever. Cuz if he was intended to be over 18, what business does he have hanging around high schoolers and presumably having a crush on one of em???????????? like no he's obviously underage.

Sorry I was on twitter and deltarunetwt is pissing me the fuck off goodnight

#deltarune #ralsei #(( sexualization #(( vent #eerrr sorry #just had to get that out #I need to stay in my own little bubble when I deal with characters like Ralsei #cant even search the cutie on google without being FLASHED #anyway uh feel free to ignore HELP #kenziebabbles #shut it Kenzie

[crabussy]

god I forgot how much staring at a screen for all my waking hours fucks me up and makes me miserable

#my eyes hurt so bad and my brain can barely form words #and I'm terrified to face my teacher tomorrow after she. did what she did two weeks ago #I'm safe please don't worry but #oh boy #there's a reason I have PRE BOOKED THERAPY for tomorrow after school #that's how fucking scared I am #and #the workload #is literally impossible to manage or complete as a disabled autistic person #not a hyperbole I have tried I have put every bit of energy I possibly have #including energy for. getting ready for bed or talking to my loved ones or masking or just going on a WALK #into homework. and it's still an impossible amount of work that I am Never able to complete by the deadline #hate being this way #hate teacherfs who traumatise me for being this way #has happened my whole fucking life and I STILL feel like a little kid every time #vent tw #listen to my gibberish boy #vent #this sucks. sorry you had to read this

[thenamessparkplug]

shoutout to my old 4th grade teacher for being more supportive of me one time 6 months ago than my own mother's ever been< 3333

#it was like such a tiny interaction but i also never forgot #it was during some kind of family party thing for kids parents (and siblings) to come and eat pizza and some other stuff i dont remember #and anyways my brother(who currently goes to this school) wanted to go so my whole family went #and while i was there my mom saw my old 4th grade teacher and was like “omg you should go talk to her” #and i was like yeah i should she was a really cool lady actually #so i nervously was like “hi” and didnt think shed recognize me at all #but she IMMEDIETLY was like “ITS YOU! /pos” #she then points to my shirt and asks me “hey are those your pronouns now?” #and this was back when i still wore pronoun/pride pins in general #and i was like “yeah actually!” because no adult had ever asked me about it before and i was so happy to like be recognized as a person #and she gave me a hug and told me she was proud of me and how much id grown and i /maybe/ got a little close to tears but ignore that #and my mom just stood there the whole time #she didnt say anything #she didnt smile #and this was not my first time wearing my pronoun pin my TRANS FLAG pin even #never once did she acknowledge it #also like a month later she made fun of me for it and i havent worn one since #uh yeah anyways #sorry for ranting lmao #or ig venting?? this was not my intention mb mb #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgtbq #lgbtqia #(to be clear my mom has made it very clear she will never support me on numerous occasions it wasnt like a one time thing lmao) #tw vent?? #tw vent

[vellichorsdesire]

personally i think laying on my f/o’s chest their hand patting my head with the other arm wrapped tightly around me while i cry no judgement from them whatsoever would fix me

#delete later maybe #vent ahead sorry </3 #i keep on overthinking toniight and i almost had a meltdown cuz of it i actually dont know whyy <//3 #i cant help but feel i’m annoying to my friendssgrhrhrggh that f/o would find me annoying as well… it hurts to think about #i feel like i dont belong anywhere sso bad it sucks so much everyone has higher prorities in their life than me i shouldnt be so expecting #it’s embarassing how much i enjoy the attention i get sometimes even the smallest message i’m desperrate for…. waaugh #it hurts a little because i have to bottle it up in a way i’mputting this here because j genuinely have nowhere else to put this i’m sorry #f/o savee me…. #❥ vels ramblings

[dippy-ecks]

I have been having god awful lightheadedness/palpitations for like a month now and I requested an appointment with my doctor for the first time in years so here’s to hoping they actually take me seriously 🤞🤪

#Had an intense panic attack last month and have felt awful since #I’m keep telling myself it’s only bc I’ve been trying to quit alcohol but I dunno #I’ve been feeling like such massive shit and with that heart scare a couple years ago I’ve been a little hmmm #Sorry lowkey vent post lol #don’t mind dippy

[inkykeiji]

>.<

#tw clari overshares #i really need to start making new friends on here and being more active #but the issue is just the mere *thought* of that fucking terrifies me #just typing out that single sentence has my heart pounding and my hands shaking and my stomach churning #i really wish i was kidding or over-exaggerating #i want so badly to make new friends and be active in a little community on here again #but i’m so so so scared #(of what?????????? of what!!!!!!!!!!!) #bring me back to 2020 clari who talked to people despite the anxiety and was so damn active and was having an absolute blast!!! #what happened to her!!!!! #she got really sick i guess #it’s crazy like sometimes i just scroll through my archive and i can SEE it #i can see myself getting sicker and sicker and withdrawing more and more #feeding into the fear and letting it win #and now i’m here #in this hole that i’m going to have to claw myself out of IN SPITE OF the terror i feel #i miss being a part of this community so much #i miss being able to post little drabbles willy nilly and not having breakdowns over them not being perfect #NOT obsessing over my own work and flaws it may have #i miss having fun #YES my writing is extremely important to me and YES i want to one day write for a living in some capacity #but since when did that mean i had to cut everyone off??? seclude myself in a protective little bubble??? #the only person who can fix this is me #(obviously hahaha) #it’s about time i put on my big girl pant(ie)s and faced that fear head on #i’m so sick of it dominating and controlling so much of my life #why did i let it take something so fucking important to me??? #i have to end it!!! #if u got this far in the tags: thank you and i’m sorry for venting #i just feel like i NEED to say this