#and I want to feel talented

[angelic-eros]

Sometimes I wonder how much of myself I have to bend and shape and work around before someone will say they’re proud of what I’ve become

#I’ve done so much this year #I’ve been published as a model in a magazine and a book #my face was on display at comic con this year #I did my first ad job #I’ve travelled across the country for conventions #I’ve finally started earning money for my work #and I still feel like it’s not enough #or that this is just the standard somehow #because no one seems interested in any of this #and I’m starting to feel like all of this is just expected of someone creative and I’m stupid for being excited #sorry I had to vent a little #I’m very tired #and I feel shitty #and I want to feel talented #or pretty or photogenic or something #my copy of the magazine I’m in arrived today #and all I can think about is how many people just stared at me when I told them like it was nothing to them #or sent one word responses #and I don’t get it #vent

[royalarchivist]

Tubbo's grown so much as a DJ these past few weeks, but I gotta say, every time he drops Spanish or Brazilian music into the mix, I lose my damn MIND, this goes so hard 💿🎶

#Tubbo #music #Tubbathon #I desperately want to learn how to DJ I've always been so fascinated by it #I still remember when he was just learning how to do it and then almost overnight it really did feel like he was suddenly cracked at it #It's so wild. proud of him #extremely talented #also very cool of him to do more than just English music #April 23 2024 #The frickin lyrics though

[uncanny-tranny]

Some more advice for fellow adults: set your ego aside and let younger people (even kids!) educate and teach you. There is no shame in looking to a younger person for education and knowledge. It is, actually, a big facet of humanity that we teach each other - why, then, does that teacher need to be the Right Age in order for you to be willing to learn from them?

#youth liberation #adultism #i'm looking to a younger person to teach me about crochet and it's actually FINE #it's actually not an attack on Your Ego that a young person is more knowledgeable about something or possesses a talent at a level you dont! #and personally i like learning from younger people because they tend to be kind and PASSIONATE about what they are talented at! #like the young person i'm learning crochet from has this super bubbly and energetic personality and that's MOTIVATING me #and it feels less like they're just dictating crochet at me and more like we're equals sharing a passion and a craft #and THAT is what makes people want to learn. THAT is what will keep people engaged and motivated even when it gets tough #frankly it's just... kind of a red flag to me when somebody devalues younger people SO MUCH that they REFUSE to listen or learn from them #it's just... arrogance and cruelty for the sake of cruelty in my eyes

[vorakh]

quick portrait of her innocence dolores dei as a renaissance madonna

#dolores dei or dora or both (: #probably a work in progress? feels incomplete but i have zero inspiration and i wanted to share it anyway hehe #disco elysium #dolores dei #dora ingerlund #but renaissance because that’s like my vocation my talent my real true call #my art

[yuri-is-online]

Happy Holidays! I’ve been on a bit of an angst fix lately, so if you don’t mind, I’m going to brainrot in your inbox about it.

I’ve been thinking about a scenario where Yuu just finally snaps. I mean, an entire school year of being trapped in a foreign world with no certain hope of seeing your family again, being forced to contend with (at least) 7 life-or-death scenarios, the massive egos these teenage boys have, and probably at least a little bullying from the NRC students for being magicless. I mean come on, I love our boys and all, but a lot of them are kind of awful people. There’s no way a regular person’s mental health survives that.

And maybe Yuu, tired of it all, packs up what little they have and leaves. Surely their prospects couldn’t get any worse than at NRC. Maybe Yuu tries their luck at RSA in finding someone to help them go home. Maybe Yuu just wanders until they find somewhere where they can be something. Would they even leave a letter behind explaining what happened to them, or would they just assume no one would care anyway?

I just want some more Yuu angst lol

Do you have any thoughts on this?

Happy Holidays to you too annon! Everyone is welcome to brainrot in my inbox, especially about Yuu. And I do have some ｢(ｰﾍー;) but I might be a bit nicer to the NRC boys than they deserve.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, more fleshed out fic can be found on my masterlist here. SPOILERS FOR UNRELEASED CH 7 CONTENT. CW for abandonment issues, ptsd, bullying, and just general ignorance on the part of the OB boys. Heavy on the angst, this is a mega oof tm of a post.

I want to start off by saying that, in my personal opinion based off of the in game voicelines and vignettes, that the various NRC boys do like Yuu and enjoy having them around. They think of them as the same of any other freshmen student at NRC, which is sort of the problem.

The average NRC freshmen has magic, a dormitory with a housewarden responsible for "guiding" them, and a family they can fall back on if things get rough. The average student has a basic understanding of the history of the world they live in, of it's pop culture, it's food, it's clothes, and a bunch of other things that they might not think about because of how ingrained it is in their very being. Yuu has none of those things. They don't even have a cannon club which I think is more meant to allow players to have head cannons, but since we are talking angst I have wondered if since Yuu and Grim are one student, any club Yuu wanted to join would have to take Grim as well and no one wanted to deal with that. So Grim started his own "club" and Yuu just takes pictures of birthday celebrations and events they aren't able to fully participate in for the school at Crowley's request.

Ace's first reaction to Yuu is to bully them for not having magic. Deuce admits to having done the same thing as when he was a child, and is very embarrassed by it. We don't really see Yuu getting outright bullied outside of this, but given how the faceless students reacted to Deuce being excited for Starsending, yeah I think Yuu has had to deal with some bullying. And while I do think Adeuce (and the rest of Heartslabyul really) would stick up for them, it wouldn't make it stop. If anything it just gets sneakier and Yuu, not wanting to cause any problems, does their best to cover it up. Something about keeping a stiff upper lip or a smile better suiting a hero and all that.

The overblots is a whole separate issue. We get two real apologies, one from Riddle and one from Vil, who again do not take Yuu being magicless in to much thought. They think of Yuu highly! They are a housewarden of their own little dorm! And they take such good care of Grim and the others, not to mention all those overblots you survived! Not many mages can claim that but you can! What could you possibly have to be stressed about?

As if that isn't the entire problem. As if anyone understands where Yuu is coming from. As if they even would care if they did.

They might be just as capable as any other freshmen, but when school ends, hell even when it goes on a break, they have no where to go. They were stripped from their friends, family, and especially their belongings, including money and autonomy! I have some thoughts about my own Yuu wanting to be nurse in her world, but given how much of even basic medical care seems to rely on magic in Twisted Wonderland I wonder if that would even be a career path any magicless person could take. We know a lot of them work at Styx because they don't risk blot accumulation, but even cooking is done with magic (if it can be) in Twisted Wonderland! How would you feel if you had your heart set on being a doctor, worked really hard to get good grades and took up a part time job to save for college/university only to be transported to a different world with different laws of physics completely against your will. A world where all that hard work is meaningless and you might not be able to accomplish those dreams of yours. And! AND AND! If you get upset about it, that will be seen as a weakness on your part and no one will care.

Because hey, they had to work for what they have. Why can't you? They didn't ask to be born with magic (even though they would have probably) so there is no use crying about things you can't change. Ruggie and Jamil do seem to feel a bit of sympathy to Yuu's plight, but neither of them think twice about exploiting Yuu for their own gain. Sure it might be unfair, but life is in general! It's not their fault, they aren't to blame. And that's really how all of NRC sees it, they aren't to blame for Yuu's circumstances, so they aren't owed any special treatment.

How Yuu snaps and what they do because of it would really come down to how you hc your Yuu to be. My own personal thoughts come back to personal autonomy a lot; I don't think Yuu has much of it and that would grate on me constantly. I could see Yuu hearing their friends talk about their plans for the future, and though Ace and especially Deuce try to include them in the conversation they can't add much. Ace applauds them, says "we need to take things easy! We're still freshmen..." and drones on about how he just wants to enjoy school life. And maybe Yuu does too, but they have no concrete answer about whether or not they can get home. They don't have the support system that their classmates do, so there really isn't anything waiting for them after the school year ends. Yuu feels so helpless, and they don't have the words to explain how they feel, because how could they?

If Malleus's overblot ends without any real repercussions (which I doubt it will but hey, I am like 65/35 on whether or not he apologizes to Yuu specifically for almost killing them I will be so pissed if he doesn't) I could see everyone else making fun of Malleus for loosing while Yuu just. Stares off into the distance, trying really hard not to cry in front of people they are convinced will make fun of them. This has all been scary, things like this just aren't possible in their world and they aren't mentally prepared to face death again.

And they are convinced they will. You can say overblots are rare all you like, but Yuu has practically seen one once a month ever since they arrived in this world. It is normal to them, and who should they trust? The lying headmaster or their lying eyes and ears?

If Yuu decides to run away, I think that the Ramshackle ghosts might try to stop them. Sure the headmaster sucks, but your ghost buddies really love you! And want to support you in anyway they can, so does Grim! He wants to be together for the next 100 years, and while he does really want to stay at NRC so he can be the world's greatest mage... I think he might love Yuu more. Just a tiny bit. He would play it off as him being too good for the school, or that he and Yuu are only one student after all so he will be expelled... but really he wants to come with because he will be worried about Yuu.

While going to RSA does sound nice on paper, Yuu doesn't really have a reason to go there. They aren't exactly on first name basis with any of the students we've met so far, and there is always the risk of Che'nya snitching to Riddle and Trey. Better to try and find a place where they can be something and maybe send letters to all the magical academies they can get contact information for to see if they can help. And also, to see if they will accept Grim as a full student, got to make sure he isn't sacrificing his dream for nothing!

The ghosts, realizing they can't convince Yuu not to leave decide to help. They already sell things at the markets downtown, so maybe they chat with some of their clients and convince them to let Yuu rent a room for a while. You have the option in Portfest to mention you have been to Craneport before, and I like the thought of Yuu having a part time job there. Maybe the ghosts explain that Yuu has no real family to go back to and Yuu's part time employer agrees to give them a full time job while Yuu figures out where they want to go.

Another thing related to personal autonomy, Yuu wouldn't have government documents if they just got isekaid out of the blue. I could see that being a huge issue for traveling to different countries and trying to establish a life. I also wonder if Crowley even did anything about that... but assuming he did since he (allegedly) talked to the school board about what to do with Yuu I think the ghosts would get them for Yuu on the condition they still come visit sometimes.

As for the note, I think Yuu would leave one simply because they feel like they didn't have the words to explain themselves out loud. And because they don't want to face the fight they know will come where everyone tells them to just suck it up and get on with it. These are teenage boys they are dealing with, their brains just can't fully comprehend the situation Yuu is in and they have given up expecting them to.

Just so we're clear, I think this would devastate Ace and Deuce, maybe to the point of destroying their friendship, at least for a while. Ace does think about Yuu not having magic, he wants to protect them. He says so when you level him to max, that protecting you will be easy, but clearly it wasn't. Clearly he failed you, and what does Ace do when he feels bad? He takes it out on everyone else and in this case especially Deuce. Deuce just feels stupid, which he already does a lot, but he really saw you as being around for the rest of his life. And now you aren't, and not for a happy reason like you got to go home. You aren't there because they failed you.

The others are a bit of a mixed bag I could do a separate post about but to hit the other big one...

I have no real idea how Malleus would react. I can see him thinking this means Yuu is afraid of him now, which I don't think he would react well to, but assuming this is post ob then he might be willing to take responsibility for it. It would certainly make him think, but how that thought would manifest? Outside of the obvious weather changes I do not know. I could see him being slightly resentful to his mother for cursing him to be hated by humans and loved only by fae when he so desperately wanted to be loved by one specific human. They were his first real friend, and he didn't treasure them in a way they found meaningful.

idk Yuu dropping off the grid isn't something I can see Crowley letting happen, but I can see why Yuu would want to try.

#twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twst yuu #my own yuu is supposed to be a delinquent type who spent some time in residential treatment #and worked really hard to try and not be like her actual criminal parents #but feels like a lot of that work has been undermined by being transported to a world where magic makes most of her talents irrelevant #so yeah i think about yuu angst a lot #i am yuu's biggest faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan i want good things for them except when i write angst

[cryscendo]

we love them! we love them!

kurt hummel + boys boys boys by lady gaga [insp]

#glee #my edit #my stuff #gleeedit #kehedit #klaineedit #kurt hummel #blaine anderson #sebastian smythe #elliott gilbert #klaine #kurtbastian #kelliott #episode: never been kissed #episode: i do #episode: prom queen #episode: the first time #episode: frenemies #this was inspired by bella’s work #but i kinda feel like she’s continuing to eat my lunch with this #she’s just so talented but i wanted to create this regardless #please do yourself a favor and go check out bella’s stuff

[enha-stars]

body shaved legs open mouth open hair tied back teeth brushed eyebrows done no pants only night gown warm food clothes ironed house clean bed made kids at school windows dusted fridge organized pillows fluffed

#yeah #how i’m feeling #not kidding when i say he could have me at any time any where whenever #if u look like this and are this talented pls hmu! #stella has already heard these thoughts #and i’m too tired to filter myself #but i need to get this all out before ramadan #i must be on my best behaviour during the holy month #can’t talk about wanting to give hee a sloppy now can i #anyways #i’m in love w him! #enha!me #enhypen hard thoughts #enhypen hard hours #heeseung smut #heeseung hard thoughts #heeseung hard hours #enhypen smut

[mitskijamie]

Roy obviously knows that Jamie admires/respects/looks up to him but I like to think there's some part of him that wants Jamie to think he's like. Cool. On some level he's just a middle aged man who peaked in his 20s and craves validation from his cool gen Z coworker. I'm not like a regular coach I'm a Cool coach

#oc #(face straightens immediately) #i think roy was probably bullied at least some at the academy (because he was younger and also super talented) and sometimes with Jamie #who is so effortlessly cool and personable and just has this gravitational pull that will make any room he enters orbit around him #he feels like. idk. inadequate #even when roy was the coolest man in the country there was always this part of him that still felt like it was a joke #this inner autistic 13 year old who never fit in and could never figure out why #like his whole relationship with Keeley he can't believe such a beautiful woman would want to be with him because girls used to ask him out #as a joke or whatever. so he keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop because why would SHE like HIM. #and then when he finds out she's been talking about how clingy he is behind his back he's like I'm an idiot. I'm an idiot. of course. #and it's the same thing with jamie. why would Jamie Tartt (Beautiful Young Successful Footballer Slash Sex Symbol). want to be with him. #he feels like a closeted outcast with a helpless crush on a beautiful popular classmate #is this insane. #roy kent #jamie tartt

[13eyond13]

love it when a character that's hard to read intuitively for you has like a dedicated fandom interpreter who can just glance at their blank face in a panel and then give you a 3k word essay on their innermost thoughts & desires & fears and neatly tie it back into the themes & whatnot as if it's the most obvious thing in the world

#im talking about griffith btw #guts i feel i get intuitively - maybe because i have some personality traits in common with him #and we get more about his life concretely told to us in canon. so he is a bit easier to pin down as a character and feel attached to for me #but whenever i was reading the manga i just kept wanting more insight about griffith's actions and feelings #like ok yeah its fun to have mysterious antagonists and suspense /tension etc but its also fun to feel like you deeply understand them too #and i felt like that was a bit missing from him for me in canon #so reading about him in analysis and fics is the most fun for me rn #he always felt kinda half unreal to me- which maybe was the point of him - but i wanted a bit more about his childhood or something? #and wished we had more stuff explicitly from his pov in the story to read or explanation about his transformation or wtv #and now he's so much more closed off to me even than he was in the golden age. i keep waiting for him to explain stuff and he does not #ANYWAYS all this rambling to say some people out there are very good at interpreting him and making his like. insecurities #more obvious to me bc i didnt really get that side of him from canon intuitively well #also im really enjoying reading the first few berserk fics ive read #there may not be a ton of them out there but there is def writing talent in the fandom #i'll share some recs once i'm done sifting through most of what's out there to read #also (not to tie everything back to death note but it IS my home fandom after all) #i feel griffith is obvs the more light-like character here and L maybe a bit guts-like? but unlike berserk in death note #light is the one you get to know best and L is the mysterious / unreal one you don't get a lot of concrete insight into #and in the DN fandom I can read the more mysterious character intuitively but had to warm up to the less mysterious one instead #and the mystery of L makes sense to me and doesnt bug me as much due to like - he HAS to hide a lot about himself or else he will die lol #so some similarities there but also some opposite feels as well #berserk spoilers #p

[ingravinoveritas]

| Dolittle premiere, 2020 vs. NTA Awards, 2021. (With thanks to @invisibleicewands for the original Dolittle gifset here.)

#michael sheen #welsh seduction machine #david tennant #soft scottish hipster gigolo #i just needed to put these two moments side by side #for science #the difference in Michael is especially noticeable #him and AL on the left is the cringiest thing i've ever seen #'okay we're done now. bye-bye.' #awkward #holding on to David like he never wants to let go #michael is a talented actor #but he can't hide his true feelings as himself #but i will leave it to my followers to make up their own minds #anna lundberg #discourse #gifs by me

[void-pitcher]

i will literally never stop thinking about that one glass onion analysis video that said “i wouldn’t say i’d destroy [the mona lisa] to save a stranger’s life, but honestly? it’s kinda fucked up that i wouldn’t. we should value a person’s life, stranger or not, more than a piece of art.” like that changed something in me. bc our society DOES value art. not new art, not artists, sure, but it values the results. they put the results at a higher value than the artist themself, and if they think the results is worthless? they’ll still value the artist less than the result.

#thinkin abt my one friend who said she’d rather die than not complete her art #and another who said he’d kill himself for talent #and another who said the mona lisa was da vinci’s legacy and if it’s gone he’s gone #like what are y’all on abt? what value must u put on art to value urself as less than? how little do u value urself to put ur art as more? #i want so badly to be able to say i’d burn the mona lisa to save a stranger but idk if i would #and like this guy said: it’s fucked up #what we make doesn’t determine our worth. what we can or can’t do doesn’t determine our worth. how much talent we have doesn’t determine our #worth. and it shouldn’t. #idk. it just feels so twisted. and it’s not even abt what art they can make in the future. #it’s abt how we and the ppl around us are alive and that’s our most valuable gift #not some oil on a canvas #glass onion #glass onion a knives out mystery #art #mona lisa

[gothoffspring]

You dont need to make renders to have your posts be appreciated! If all you do is post your screenshots, no editing at all, you're still extremely valid. If you don't feel like painting individual hair strands, adding custom lighting/shadows, learning how to meticulously edit things, I still want to see what you have to post. Some of the edits and talent I've seen on simblr is out of this world. But I feel like it's also important to have some validation for people who don't like editing, and still want to share their sims with us. Obviously renders and highly edited posts are the norm and whats most popular, but it doesent make anyone else's posts less worthy of being liked/reblogged. 💗

#this post is 500% for myself #im so tired of feeling like i NEED to learn blender and meticulously edit every single post i make #i dont ever want to touch blender i dont want to paint hair strands or make my own poses or add highlight and contour #i would love to actually start a sim story but i dont have it in me to make my own poses and edit posts like the popular storyteller simblr #its just not me #anyways yall are talented this is NOT me hating on ppl who make edits like that #i just dont have it in me besties 😣😂💗

[buckleysevan]

hey everyone! i'm starting 2024 off strong. i recently hit 1k followers and i wanted to thank all of you for following me! i'm really glad to be surrounded by so many amazing people, and i'm glad that so many people like my content that they even decide to follow me ♡♡♡ also thank you all for putting up with me and my txf obsession lately where i spam with gifs of it all the time hhahah ♡♡♡

now onto the celebration! check out this page for all things i am willing/can gif! also no complicated rules, just that you follow me (since it is a follower celebration) and you can send as many as you want (only one per ask tho). i'm not sure when i'll close the requests but i will edit it into this post when i do. anywayssssssss, send me an emoji + one of the prompts below:

🎥 send me a show + an episode or a film for a timestamp roullette 🌗 send me two shows/films/characters/ships/seasons or episodes of a show to choose between 👽 send me character/ship/show etc. + song/lyrics/quote 🪐 send me character/ship/show/film + color(s).

tagging some beloved mutuals below! you should check them out as they're all amazingly talented people! ♡♡♡

extra special shoutout to loml @krystaljungs who puts up with my annoying ass every day, who's my go-to person for advice on my gifs, who listens to me talk about my numerous obsessions all the time, basically my ride or die! ilysm ♡♡♡

@antoniosvivaldi @ayo-edebiri @bellamysgriffin @bo-kryzze @chrrispine @clairesbeauchamp @craintheodora @crowley-anthony @crowleybrekkers @crushcrushcrushs @eddiediaaz @fawad-khan @jakeperalta @jakeyp @jamescarstairs @khaotunqs @laurabenanti @llokilaufeyson @margarethcarter @matlillard @mike-mills @mulderscully @neil-patrick @neo-trinity @robin-buckely @rosamndpike @samanthamulder @sansakenobi @scullyblr @sharpesjoy @singularities @thedoctorsdonnas @yennefer

#also don't feel obligated to rb this or join #i just wanted to do a tiny follow forever/mutual appreciation #like a little shoutout #y'all are so amazingly talented and i'm so glad you're my mutuals #ilyyy #okay i'll stop #1k celebration #anna.txt

[lunetual]

gunwook gets PRANKED!!!!     + the moment he realizes what’s happening

#park gunwook #gunwook #boys planet #boysplanet #bp #mnet #mine: gif #bp.meg #MY GIANT BABY........... #he was so cute :( even when he thought they really took his killing part away from him he was like... #u could see the gears turning..... he was like.... this ISN'T right... but i respect my hyungs...... #jkl;afdsafsd;jkl #he also like. he DIDN'T get that it was a prank until they TOLD him. #like even when they were being OVERLY goofy and being like. '[boy from other team] wants to try too!" he was just like. #giggling bc he thought they were trying to make him feel better. #guys we MUST debut him. he's talented he's cute he's polite most importantly I RAISED HIM IN THE WILD!!!!!! #hiszabina #useroro #dearestmillie #meg blogs boys planet

[saraminia]

I just think that he + a piano (reprise)

#idk this was in my drafts #i just love him #and his hands #and the way he masters his instrument #the way playing the piano seems to come so naturally and instinctually to him #it looks easy like breathing to him #it's such a natural way for him to express himself #my man is a musician™ with the soul of a musician #and talent and skill to match #i truly believe at the piano is his happy place #i just... i'm feeling very sappy about him today #i have so much i want to say #but i'll just say that he's beautiful and charming and so generous with his kindness #at least that's my experience #now enough of waxing poetic about him #'less sap more sex' it says it right there in my blog description #so i'll end this by saying #i still want to hit that more than anything #noah reid #riikka posts

[fastcardotmp3]

watcha reading?

here we go! I went a long stretch where I wasn't reading much fic at all but I've been catching up lately (the past week fjdkslj) (I've been tagged in this a couple times I think but I can't recall by who I've just had this draft in progress for a while I'm SORRY :/ )

Anyway, It's About Old Friends by @fragilecapric0rnn - endlessly complex and such a feast of character dynamics and the way they shift and change and grow over time, I cannot recommend this one enough, it's the post-UD When Harry Met Sally AU that you NEED in your life

god has never loved a woman the way I do by @judasofsuburbia - the second part in a wild west au series that is so full and real and unbelievably tender that I simply don't know what to do with myself about it. For both parts (Steddie pt. 1 and Ronance pt. 2) there is so much beautiful rumination on the nature of choice for these people and the simultaneous risk and worthiness of choosing each other like. help me???

and they were roommates by @yournowheregirl - I've only read the first part in this series but I can't wait to dive further into it. Ronance finding that no matter how nervous they were to actually go after each other there is actually so much natural simplicity to touching and feeling and kissing and!!!! joyful PWP for the girls it's what they deserve

never made it to graceland by @cheatghost - beautifully, gorgeously, perpetually ominous first chapter with such perfect Eddie-isms and Munson Family Moments and prose, just the first chapter alone has me feeling deeply fulfilled while still so ready for more. I am a lover of "the world ended but we're still here" and this is already giving me that in DROVES please join me in scratching at the walls about it

I Look to You to See the Truth by @sharpbutsoft the Erica Sinclair coming of age in her freshman year of college-slash- lesbian self discovery story of my DREAMS featuring your favorite idiot4idiot steddie and dearest robin and overall what a delight from start to finish

P.S. if you read and enjoy any of these, spread the love by letting the authors know! the community of fandom thrives when we talk to each other 💜

open tag for anyone who wants to join in on this! say I tagged you and share your newest faves with us, I wanna see 'em!

#this was far from everything on my catch up list but I'm making progress! #(if i started with some of the stuff by my pals on said list don't @ me it's not my fault they're talented) #plus I wanted to post this on the 31st bc I think I wanna make it a monthly rec thing #i have so many things i want to read and share and this feels like a good way to do that now that I'm getting back into the swing of it! #dot post #fic recs #dot recs #steddie #ronance