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wtrclover · 8 months

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A look back on my old art (and other doodles on Twitter.) - December 2020

This marks the FIRST post of many I will make detailing my old work. I'm gonna start posting these weekly as to make it easy others AND for me. And what better way to start it off by the month I finally got a tablet. (and turnt 18 too I guess)

I was not a smart 18 year old, I some how barely survived the last 2 years of high school, and this and the next would become the worse it ever got. Yet I still persisted and somehow stay sane. Kinda. Keep that in mind for the bulk of 2021's art in the following weeks.

December 4

As you can see from the first image, I was using a mouse at the time (and a combination of mspaint and firealpaca) That will change soon enough. Also homestuck =:3

Original descriptions:

I saw this and I thought I can use this as an excuse to actuallly draw homestuck

have this nepeta doodle as well

December 6

At the time I was really obsessed with making homestuck sprites of stuff (and I still kinda do) so I made this at a request of a friend at the time.

Original description:

@SpringingTraps made me draw metaware homestuck

December 8

Why did I even included this post in here? Well I used to be SUPER inconsistent how I draw myself, so thought this would be a good start.

Original description:

i found that pettting gif website...

December 11

I'll be honest, I wish I didn't post this back then. IDK it's kinda weird looking back on now.

Original Description:

It's #FlatFuckFriday AND my birthday??? Fuck yeah!!! 🥞

December 18

I'll be honest. I have no idea how I did THIS with a mouse of all things. Like how did I do it. In MSPAINT no less. Also I have no idea why I drew myself like this here.

Original Description:

fucking around with faking line weight, so glad I don't have to do this shit when I get a tablet

December 20

Oh look Cave Story, one my earliest obsessions. When this drawing came out, I already have long since moved on from it, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate it.

Original Description:

16 years of #CaveStory =:]

December 22

Ah here we go, I finally got a drawing tablet. I got REALLY excited with the pen pressure that I kinda gone overboard with it, but it was nice to use one. (granted I forgot how to draw with a mouse now.) Oh yeah, if you notice a black line on the VERY top of some drawings, that was a bug with firealpaca. I kinda had to live with it for a while.

Original Description:

WOW HAVING PEN PRESURE MAKES A BIG DIFFFERENCE

This was the first real piece I did after getting a tablet. I'm quite proud of it. The context behind this image is kinda funny really. A server I was in was doing a collab where we drew UCN portraits of our OCs or Sona, and I drew something for it. Yes UCN, Ultimate Custom Night. I was in my second FNAF phase at the time.

Original Description:

Let the static flow.

December 23

At the time, I used to draw myself with sideburn thingies cause I thought it look cute, but I no longer do that. Also you might be noticing a large about drawing made in a short timeframe. Well I have an explanation for that. You see, I sometimes get hit by these bursts of productivity and I can draw super fast. Sometimes these bursts happen at random, but in this case it was because I gotten a new tablet and new ideas where flowing.

Original Description:

This was supposed to be a sketch...

I HAVE LOT TO SAY ABOUT THIS. I was super obsessed with TGWeaver's FNAF comics. It was why I gotten back into FNAF around 2019. But I was fascinated with Toy Bonnie at the time, to the point I started drawing her on the daily. I started using her as an avatar for myself online. It was when I saw a post on tumblr where something made a kinsona when it clicked for me. This rabbit holds sooooo much gender. 🏳️‍⚧️ Thus ended 5 years of denial over my gender.

Original Description:

some weaver buns

December 24

I tried drawing myself with my hair down here. I didn't like it then. I got better at drawing my hair down though. I was this file was named "cel test" for some reason.

Original Description:

It's me!

December 25

Remember when I said I was inconsistent, here an example. I dislike how this turned out then, I STILL do now. The only thing I do like? This was when I started to shade in this particular way. Also at the time I was worried about being too slow, which is funny when I was posting so many things at once. But also the filename was "the crunch" which is less funny and more worrying.

Original Description:

I need to learn how to do this faster

December 28

Oh look a Commission! There's nothing special to say about this.

Original Description:

Shaded commission for @Bunnydudee of Carmen from Animal Crossing!

December 29

THAT'S RIGHT I DREW SONIC.EXE BEFORE IT WAS COOL. Jokes aside, this post was more so for Tails Doll. I loved drawing that little bugger in the most pathetic and dorky way possible.

Original Description:

Tails Doll's roommate is a wacknut

---

FINALLY we made it thru December. Goodness I posted alot more often back then huh. Kinda surprising. Anyways next week I'll post January!

#my art #fursona #doodles #commission #sona #Clover's Old Art #twitter repost #long post #fnaf #toy bonnie #fnaf bonnie #homestuck #metaware high school #tails doll #sonic.exe #carmen animal crossing #sue sakamoto #ms paint #sorry about the long tag list

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azaracyy · 3 months

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to the next stage of our adventure! digimon survive week 2024 day 7: post-game / future personal thoughts under the cut - less about the artwork and more about shuuji and lopmon themselves. a long rambling containing major spoilers and heavy topics. will cause whiplash. proceed with caution.

other than the fact this may be boring and long-winded, cw and tw: there will be mentions of self-harm and suicide. if these topics make you uncomfortable, please step back. if you're sure, then alright. i'm aware this is a weird place to ramble about shuuji and lopmon considering the notorious highlight of their story would match the themes of day 5 (villains) and day 6 (dark & loss) better. unfortunately (ironically?) i never planned to feature them for those days, so... pretty sure i'm not the only one feeling this, but when i discovered that a good part of the fandom seems to loathe shuuji with utmost passion, even after they claimed to have completed the game, i was confused. the way his death happened and (understanding) the cause made me uncomfortable for a while, but never drove me to the point of hate... once i recovered from the initial shock, what i felt towards him was more pity, then respect (on truthful route). i feel shuuji should have been one of the most appreciated characters in survive. yet it was the opposite that happened. (between you and me though, knowing there was this discourse with the fact digimon survive is a visual novel, i'm not that surprised it turned out this way...) from my point of view, lopmon evolving into wendimon then killing shuuji symbolizes suicide, the act of taking one's own life. it was the climax of shuuji's mental breakdown, leading him to basically self-destruct, causing damage to everyone around him and ultimately himself. lopmon evolved, just like he hoped. but failed to do it like other kemonogami partners (maintaining control of themselves and fending off enemies). the next and final outcome was death, through his own partner actually eating him alive too. it reminds me how when someone thought they have prepared well for something important yet it failed spectacularly, the devastation and frustration would eat them in the same way from inside. and they probably would for one second think, "i'm better off dead". the more i pondered about it, the more it hit home, so of course, the last thing i could do is hate him, when his struggles sound similar to my own - having to rely on consistent achievements to prove your value, to feel you are worth living and not a waste of resources. the part where shuuji went all abusive on lopmon felt like the equivalent of pushing yourself to the extreme to reach your goal, to the point of neglecting your own needs. it's like a student so absorbed in their study, sacrificing food and sleep, until their body eventually snaps and shuts down for good (...this in fact happened to one of the students at my previous workplace. she was in her last year of high school. life was just about to truly start for her when her classmate informed us of her sudden death). even in truthful route where shuuji and lopmon survive that point, things aren't immediately nice and easy for him. you can see that he still has self-doubts, and what i think is impostor's syndrome. he could be making a great contribution to the team and still put himself down for having done "nothing". i have found it interesting that artists and writers tend to be especially fond of shuuji. so perhaps it's not just the matter of one's upbringing - whether you were raised in a harsh, competitive environment and/or with family with (unreasonably) high standards so you can relate more easily to him - but also whether one can see just what every struggle shuuji and lopmon went through symbolizes shuuji's mental state. out of all survive characters, i think shuuji and lopmon pulled off this thing called "surviving" the hardest, no joke. which is why i almost always gravitate to drawing them happy because that's what they deserve :') after all this, what i also would like to say is, it's okay if a character makes you uncomfortable. it's okay if you hate a character. but never, ever bring down the character to people who like them or even consider them their favorite or comfort character. if you must, do it in your own space and only with like-minded people.

#digimon #digimon survive #shuuji kayama #lopmon #survive week #survive week 2024 #obligatory shuuji-focused post where i make myself go a bit ✨ extra ✨#sorry for the long rambling tho i just thought i never had the chance to put this in words and this time i really want to do it #thanks for being patient with me :')#so i didnt manage to post for all days after all but i still have the ideas and sketches #if i ever finish them i will post and tag #if we have another survive week next year i hope i can actually prepare early so i could just schedule posts like a boss #then enjoy every submission without having to worry about finishing my next one #back to commissions starting tomorrow o7 updated my vgen listings recently so feel free to look around if you'd like #let's keep surviving y'alls #png

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phykoha · 4 months

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How i look trying to find non au Undertale content on ao3

#blah blah blah #my excluded tags list is so long.........#and it's just getting longer......#im sorry mafiafell im sorry dreamtale i dont care about you right now why are you everything i see ....

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adhbombus · 7 months

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I love the running gag that’s Norm just does some crazy shit and then Doof is like a “damn really? I gotta read that instruction manual “and norms like “Yes you should.:)”

#dictated post #It’s like 4:30 in the morning #And I’m trying to go to sleep #So I can get to class on time #And here I am thinking about the funny Robot man #With my glasses off mind you #I have no idea what the fuck I’m writing #phineas and ferb #pnf norm #!!!! him the guy #normal about norm #I was also dictating that long list of tags #But I had to separate them because it went over the character limit that I didn’t know existed #I knew there was a Attack limit. The tag limit is 50.#But the tag character limit is 140 #Damn that’s crazy #Holy shit dictation adds commas #I’m sorry for clocking to text so go back to sleep

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apple-spider-vinegar · 17 days

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Not a Norman Osborn Apologist or a Norman Osborn Hater but a secret third thing

#redemption may be possible but he's gotta earn it with like his blood sweat and tears #he's gotta have his ebeneezer scrooge moment of realizing what a miserable shell of man he has become #how he has alienated everyone who cares about him and that is not a long list of people #and he can only try to make amends with the ones he hasn't killed #i have found vanishingly few post-nwh fanworks that tackle this in a satisfying way if they even try #many do not #do i yearn for the father-son reconciliation? in my heart of hearts i do #but i think it would be better if harry doesn't go for it right away #even if he wanted to he might not trust it and years of being brushed off and criticized would not disappear overnight #someday i should make the post about how norman could really love his son but it might not matter #anyway sorry for making a whole separate post in the tags but there ya go #green goblin #norman osborn #raimiverse #op

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egberts · 7 months

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girls wake up there's a new worm bike playlist in progress

alana said the new one is way more funky, I've noticed a lot of punk bands are piggy dippin in a funk/punk sound more than a pop/punk sound and honestly? I'm so obsessed.

#its only like half done but ive already had it on repeat for 2 months #truly a I love this song! oh yeah i added it ass playlist #ever since going public with the worm bikes i am more conscious of how incohesive these playlists are #i can have songs bordering on e boy trap music noise alongside what is basically a pop song alongside screamo #but the point was never to have a cohesive sound or vibe. it was to collect new music in one place #and it does that effectively for me even if not everyone who seeks them out has the same taste #also a seperate thought to make these tags extra long: some of them ARE more cohesive and that's the funny part #you can tell my moods of the time or what i was seeking in song. one of them is full of songs about cutting off abusive parents and #simultaneously songs about being happy having a good time healing and starting over #like in a convoluted way that is cohesive and poetic #idk just weird to look back and be able to identify periods of my life with the music i collected now that theres so much of it #wish i could hard copy it but some of these songs are so obscure i feel like it's unrealistic #but i do want to have copies of my VIP list #okay sorry for the long ass rambling tags byyyyeeee

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phynoma · 17 days

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Oh hi!

I'm Phyn! I write things. I'm not going to get into a bunch of identity stuff, but I'm queer, I'm an adult, and I like writing queer adult stuff. Mostly horror (see: queer) and absurdity (see: the world)

I have degrees in english, theology, and more theology, which just means I have a bunch of experience doing critical thinking and analysis of storytelling, and enough imposter syndrome that I don't know how to put that on a resume.

FANDOMS!

If you're already following me it's probably for Pillars of Eternity, TMA, or LOTR/Silmarillion. I cycle through hyperfixations every few years. It's still TMA/TMAGP right now. You can find my TMAGP sideblog here, where I just collect art.

Other things I like: Fallen London, everything by Pia Foxhall/not_poignant, re:dracula, SILT VERSES, Rivers of London, Murderbot, Critical Role, Saga, Wicked+Divine, anything by Neil Gaiman, I Am in Eskew, norse myths, egyptian myths, jewish myths, the dragonlance books (don't judge me they were foundational), pretty much everything Mike Flanagan makes, and much much more

WRITING!

I'm on ao3 as Phynoma! What do I write? Well. I write in-depth explorations of characters placed in harrowing situations which draw out the very inmost parts of their vulnerabilities and--

Smut. I write smut, okay?

Almost all of these fics are explicit and PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD mind the tags, I am *very* careful with my tagging for good reason!!!!

HERE YA GO, YA FILTHY ANIMALS!

The Magnus Archives:

I mentioned this is my current fixation, right?

an extant form of life: pollen fic! You could say, maybe, that the Consuming AU uses pollen tropes, but I'm counting this as my first-ever pollen fic. Jon/Tim, Jon/Martin, maybe Jon/Tim/Martin, we'll see if Sasha gets thrown in there. Ongoing.

Hey, Jude: A hurt/comfort fic about what happened after Jon shook Jude Perry's hand. Jon & Georgie & the kindness of strangers (not those strangers) Oneshot.

The Consuming AU: My pride and joy. My baby. I started this halfway through listening to TMA the first time and finished the original fic in about two months in time for the Rusty Quill Big Bang of 2023. Canon is basically the same, with the addition of "what if there was a Entity of Hunger, (fear of) Intimacy, and Codependence?" Also Jon is turning into a succubus. Main fic is complete at a little over 100k words. Sometimes I add one-shots to the series.

~Incredible bookbinding done by @bluejayblueskies HERE ~Art of human-looking Rhia (by me) HERE and commission of eldritch angel Rhia by @isbergillustration HERE ~Commission of Naadia by @dcartcorner HERE

Kittens & Kink AU: Fluffy Somewhere Else one-shots. Cat play. Mostly nonsexual kink. Oliver/Jon/Martin. Ongoing, until I get bored of it, basically.

Pillars of Eternity:

The In-Between Series: A series of fics following the relationship of Watcher Mirad and Aloth Corfiser, ten years or so after the events of Deadfire. The world of Eora is ripe for a new cataclysm, and these two elves are trying to finally have the relationship they've been dancing around for two decades. Ongoing, on hiatus as my hyperfixation is elsewhere. I do plan to finish it, though.

Moments: same universe and characters as above, focusing more on events that happen in canon-- ie, during gameplay. Complete.

Faetales:

Mat & Kal: Fae AU: You know how sometimes you keep writing characters and put them through a blender so many times that they just become something completely new? That's this AU. Mateo and Makalo are two ancient fae beings trapped in the human world during the events of The Ice Plague (by not_poignant) who become bound by each others' lives and deaths. They hate each other, they love each other, they're in weird psychosexual sadistic codependency with each other. They're a cat-person and a snake-person. I'm not a furry but I like some of their ideas, okay? Series complete.

See commissioned art of Mat & Kal by @shojoshark HERE

The Silmarillion:

Mistakes Were Made: Imma be real, this is just straight up torture porn. Sauron is punished by Morgoth after the loss of the Silmaril to Beren & Luthien. Basically, I was annoyed by all the fluffy Angbang fics I was reading and wanted to depict them in all their horrifying, codependent glory. Complete.

Cost of Surrender: I read a really good fic about what it took for Mairon to grovel/debase himself to Eonwe to gain his freedom and I took it a bit further. Complete.

Good Omens:

the beautiful and the fitting: pretty sure the title of this is a quote from St. Augustine, too. I almost didn't include this one because I don't even remember what it's about. Fluffy sex times with nonsexual beings, I think. I started writing it because Good Omens is one of my favorite books, but tbh the fandom for the show exhausts me and I don't know if I'll come back to this. Abandoned, probably.

#writing masterpost #fic list #about me #phyn writes #sorry to all the folks I tagged I just want you to be loved #on the off chance anyone actually reads this #long post #pinned post

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roitaminnah · 1 year

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er something something thinking about when ppkm started changing their hairstyles and then another adult ppkm almost kissing they keep doing this on my canvas guys get them out of here!! I'm trying to work!

#roi draws #butterfly soup #ppkm #throws these at you and pretends to not be so busy that I have to constantly be taking heart rate lowering medication 24/7 #sweats sweats sweats sorry can I for a moment. I need to do a LARGE amount of math I need to pay my taxes before sunday ?? I need to pack #150 more puppy orders I need to edit 101 photos and take and edit an additional 248 i have to do my LAUNDRY i need to clean #I need to draw ppkm at least once a day or I'll die. I have a fanfiction i am supposed to be updating sorry guys u didn't come here for my #to do list you came here for my ppkm thoughts! okay ppkm thoughts #PERSONALLY i think that they probably change their hairstyles before they leave high school . halfway through senior year?#but honestly I don't . maybe not ponytail noelle till college (that was my ponytail era before i chopped it so so short . ) um and.#something very intimate about hair. brushing hair touching hair. hair compliments. Idk. I just think it's neat I think they are in gay love #NOVEL TAGS!!#about me #ig since i rambled for so long. this is embarrassing.#OH WAIT one more thing. miniature cameo of the senior year outfits balls on my face designed <3

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todayisafridaynight · 12 days

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I’m fairly new to the fandom, but I do have a question if you can answer it! Why do people ship Daigo with Aoki / Masato? I tried looking to see if they’ve interacted before, but couldn’t find anything! Sorry for asking I’m just </3 dumb AND I LOVE YOUR ART OF THEM!!! Nerd looking ahhhhhh

hi ! welcome to the community i hope you're having a lovely time so far and ty for enjoyin my stuff :) no need for apologies it's a very fair question to have :]

i cant speak for everyone (all. ten people into masadai anyway) but Personally To Me i just think the idea of them together is very funny. thats quite literally it im afraid..

#snap chats #//twenty page google doc in the background// ignore that. it's mostly for comedic purposes #might also be my fault idk sorry about that. allegedly. idk ive had like three people tell me they started to ship them cause of me 🧍‍♂️#@mementoasts is another person who's drawn masadai and whose stuff i love and am inspod by .. i love their disneyland fic sm ...#there was another artist on twitter who posted a neat drawing of them but i cant remember who they were and i didnt bookmark it //screams//#recently there's been ANOTHER masadai artist ive started following on twitter - @wifekiryu. his account's n/s/f/w fyi before you go looking #he has a tumblr too @foxdies. i say cause i realized as much recently vjeaKLGJALKGJ #oh but I GUESS ill get deeper into why. /i/ personally ship masadai or whatever #first off they're opposing factions yet their character alignments Do Not Match their roles. stereotypically anyway #aoki who leads the 'surface' of society and is meant to be an admirable figure and someone 'just' when really. he sucks LMAO #though that's not atypical of politicians but just from a stereotypical This Is A Respectable Individual perspective of his role #daigo on the other hand leads the 'underbelly' of society- yk comprised of dangerous criminals and outcasts and whatnot #yet as we know him daigo's compassionate and considerate of his men- he doesnt treat them like tools like aoki does #if put in a room with the two daigo would be most people's choice of person to hang out with. probably open a trapdoor on aoki tbh #and i think thats really cool and epic i always love that kinda Subverting Expectations thing #theres also the fact they both started off like. edgy/angsty in the franchise and then brush up down the line #masato does a stronger 180. publicly. obviously but its still really funny they both have to get their act together #if you wanna talk about in-text reasons. there really is none LMAO I TELLS YOU masadai is pure crack #but if i wanted to pull a muscle reaching then there's daigo being on aoki's side while everyone else is on arakawa's during the funeral #im lying of course. mitsu was behind him. rgg tryna make me forget mitsu exist .... put him back in y8 ....#and ofc ichi joins that side to even out the seating but moving on another Goofy Reason is arakawa being like #'the chairman and my son are like p much the same age Surely he knows how he thinks :)'#and then i just think daigo being all smarmy about outsmarting aoki is really goofy and im choosing to interpret that as personal #they both also have issues with their dad. s. dad/s/. anyway.#tbh the google doc tag was a joke but i really could sit here and list every dumb reason why i think theyre funny together #like i started going over the tag limit so uhhhh yeah needless to say i have a lot of. dumb reasons 💀💀💀💀#one day ill use the main text for long rambles like this but todays not that day Point Is my imagination is rampant im afraid #so the short and sweet of it is I Think It's Funny. And They'd Be Terrible Together. Which Is Why It's Funny.#and the unfortunate part is anything i find funny i obsess over for a year so. //gestures to the mountain of bullshit thats my masadai tag/

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rossary-of-the-rose · 22 days

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Currently trying to recall all my past and ongoing media hyper fixations (minus music as if I even attempt to list all the songs and artists that I have become obsessed with I will be driven even madder than I already am). As of now, the number has reached twenty-one, ten being dead and five being fleeting or 'I would if I coulds.' I say as of now because, as crazy as this sounds, I often completely forget something I have been/am feverishly consumed and obsessed by. All in all, considering my age, my forgetfulness and the fact that this list doesn't include music, animals, people, communities, ships, hobbies/activities, certain characters, celebrities, influencers, book ideas, clothes/styles and probably a lot more that I have neglected to remember, I think my obsessive brain has done pretty well for itself. Here is the (incomplete) list below:

Ongoing (Italics are under the ALWAYS & FOREVER subcategory) - Good Omens, The Magnus Archives, Sherlock BBC, Wings of Fire, Hamilton, Hazbin Hotel

Fleeting/I Would If I Could (Remembered with fondness and love) - House MD, What We Do In The Shadows, Jojo Rabbit, The Marvel Universe, Welcome to Demon School! Iruma-kun

Dead (But incredibly capable of revival in the form of new content/rewatching) - Ok Ko Let's Be Heroes, Our Flag Means Death, Helluva Boss, Demon Slayer KNY

Dead And Buried - Countryhumans (don't judge me, I was young), The Inheritance Cycle, Harry Potter, Crime Show, Spy X Family, Buddy Daddies

And there you have it. There's more, of course, just give me time to remember them... Perhaps one day I'll have created a full and extensive list of ALL my hyper fixations, not just my media ones, although I highly doubt it. For science, obviously. I think it would be interesting to see what my soul is capable of becoming emotionally attached to.

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lil-bit-louder · 1 month

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Tag game

s/o @three-unabashed-fish for the tag <3

Last song: uh I tend to just use spotify to play full albums. So the last song was “Master of the House” halfway-thru listening to Les Mis, album before that was Nirvana’s In Utero

Currently watching: Neon Genesis Evangelion (just about to finish my first watch thru of the show, the hype is deserved), Extraordinary Attorney Woo , new Blown Away season

Three ships:

Dramione (but obviously with a specific vibe lol)

Arya/Gendry (Modern AU)

Pretty much any Jon/Sansa written by ganymede_elegy

BONUS not really a ship but KAR’NISS MY BELOVED

Favourite colour: The kind of deep red that looks pretty in an old wooden church

Currently consuming: Children of Dune (just finished messiah last night oh my goooooooooooooooooooood)

First ship: Ronmione (rip to those lost in the shipping wars)

Place of birth: between hills

Relationship status: extremely single

Last movie: Dune Part II ofc

Currently working on:

my brain (psychological assessment)

vaguely bdsm themed alchemical/humoral system for d&d

a couple of 40k minis that I reaaaaallly should just wrap up

Tagging @saltaccountonphone @callmeyour-majesty and @starlitsubmission

#tag games #you all don’t have to do links to examples i was just feeling extra and my bookmarks list is like a mile long #also if you’re not into tag games sorry for tagging lmao #ok so look it’s all about how different winds represent different axes of service and dominance

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bloobydabloob · 1 month

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Is there a reason ur drawings kinda look like someone stretched them in some direction. Not in a mean way. It's very silly imo /pos

Thank you, I’m glad you like it. I take inspiration from artists like @tostyart (twt) @robert_valley (insta) jasonlupas (twt) and several other artists, who do the same thing. I think it looks great. There’s no deeper reason sadly… just think it looks cool.

#third ask in a row about the skew. Hahaha #I get why some people might not like it #I love it though. I think it’s sooo sick #I deleted yesterday’s ask because I didn’t want to clog my page with asks but I’ll reiterate #I don’t think that imperfect art should be fixed or corrected #I struggle more specifically with rigidity in my art #I have a tendency to overwork the shapes in my art to the point where it’s just… stiff as hell #So I think also the skew helps disguise that a little. Maybe I’m a cheater #But anyways #I really like skewiff or quote unquote wonky looking art.#I love art and I love beginner artists and I love shakey lines and imperfections #I think it’s soo awesome.#I dig all art to be honest. Really honestly I just like art. I’m rambling here haha #but no… Some of the people listed get insecure about the asymmetry or whatever in their art.#I don’t think anyone should be ashamed of their art as long as they are doing something they enjoy and improving #without wonky art and without weird looking stuff #we wouldn’t improve. That’s what really sucks #But I guess that’s not why I do it. I wish I could do the skew on accident dude.#Please check out @tostyart by the way #genuinely probably one of my favorite artists of all time #I think you will enjoy their stuff. It’s so different to everything else and their characters are wonderful #they have such wonderful line work and are so great at working with composition and perspective.#Everything I aspire to be #Sorry for tag rambling. I did this exact thing yesterday too #don’t give me the opportunity to talk about art. I’ll never shut up.#still not on topic though #TLDR : I think it looks cool

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undermycoat · 8 months

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Would you share more about your royjamie historical au?

yeah!! ive not written much for it but ive rolled it around in my brain a bit LOL so "historical" is a bit of a misnomer as it's more an unspecified setting with prince jamie x lord roy, where jamie is in need of a wife and roy is in need of a husband.... for his sister.

so the kents go to visit the tartts (pretend jamie's dad is out of the picture maybe? and his mom is serving as either queen regnant or regent im not sure yet but it's not suuuuper relevant. but jamie is of marrying age and it's not that he needs to get married like urgently. she just thinks a guiding hand might be good..

and you might be like "ok but what about keeley?" GOOD QUESTION. she serves georgie as like a maid so it's kinda.. well. would georgie mind it? not at all, jamie should marry someone he loves or at least someone he can grow to love. but keeley is like "don't even think about it" so. not even cuz of status but cuz she's just not into it and under georgie she really doesn't need to.. but j/k are like together in a sense. actually the fic starts with her kicking jamie out of his own bed and being like "the kents are coming today let's go!"

honestly i don't know english history very well... but it all has to be fictional anyway cuz. obviously. but it's like in the past and shit. also bumbercatch gets to be spymaster even tho idk if that will ever be relevant to the story either. plus he'd prolly rather be a rebel but wouldn't it be neat if there was a secret plot but that is so irrelevant. oh my god. but yeah spymaster bumbercatch bc why not 🫶 theres a lot of extra information i have for this fic that wont make the cut but whatever . love and light

i do have an actual historical au in mind set during the revolutionary war era where roy is a soldier who stays with the tartts under the quartering acts (in america obvs) but idk if that will ever see the light of ao3 bc it's a bit niche innit?

#sorry for how long this got esp after i was like 'yeah i don't rly have anything for this' LOL #i think i'll post a list of all the fics i've got started or need to write so i can be like. i can prioritize them and shit cuz #hoowee do i got a lot #thanks for the ask tho!!! i love rambling about my fics esp since i dont get to do it that often lol #cupid de bunny #ted lasso #royjamie #fic tag

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sisterdivinium · 10 months

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It might appear somewhat essentialist at first if used to examine real, breathing human beings, but Carol Gilligan's "Images of relationship" can provide an interesting framework with which to understand certain facets of Warrior Nun. More so when coupled with David Hayter's comment on how the show's "women are always right and the men are always kind of screwing things up," for her article, dealing in systems of moral understanding, might point us towards the reasons behind this openly admitted narrative "bias".

In a nutshell, Gilligan observes the different strategies by which boys and girls seem to resolve moral dilemmas, deviating from traditional interpretation. This is because, Rosemarie Tong reminds us, "Gilligan challenged the Freudian notion that men have a well-developed sense of justice — a sense of morality — whereas women do not". By looking beyond these hurried and prejudiced conclusions of (male) researchers before her, she "argued instead that men and women have different conceptions of morality, each equally coherent and developed and equally valid". She bases this idea, then, on those resolution strategies that were found to consist of, for boys, a tendency to see the moral dilemma as "sort of like a math problem with humans", while the girls were more inclined to view it as "a narrative of relationships that extends over time" — so if boys seemed "logical" through their impersonal abstraction of a situation, invoking concepts similar to those of law and justice, the girls were more likely to follow a different, "personal" logic, through "an awareness of the connections between people", identifying "a web of relationships that is sustained by a process of communication".

Where this all intersects with Warrior Nun is that the male and female characters seemingly display these same propensities of moral judgment.

If we start with the men, we will quickly see that they are all caught up in their own abstract systems, prone to grand ideas and concepts while detached from the world and the valuable human bonds that make it up, just as Vincent sees the quest for a hypothetical "better world" as more important than the life of a very real, concrete woman he claims to love. Mr. Hayter himself, in the same interview conceded during the OCS Conclave of June 3rd, mentions how father Vincent and cardinal William are irresistibly attracted to the notion of power: "here's this guy who can do godlike things, so why wouldn't I follow him, you know? ... We gotta have some power ... that we bow down to or whatever". This is how he transmits a glimpse into these characters' psyches and we could safely argue that this behaviour and thought pattern extends to the rest of the men in the show, including Duretti, Kristian, Adriel and even Michael Salvius.

Whether these men mask their fascination with power through other words or not, theirs is a cause which easily calls for violence and a willingness to kill or die for it.

Earthly power inspires Francesco Duretti to have the current halo bearer killed if need be as he attempts to consolidate his bid on the Holy See; Kristian Schaefer would sacrifice the world as readily as he does his old acquaintance Duretti in the name of this power that lay entombed for a thousand years but communicated through the voice of a sick little boy; cardinal William Foster is inebriated with the idea of being a new god's right-hand man, so he brutally slaughters his colleagues to buy himself a place at Adriel's table, even if that means getting no more than his master's crumbs; father Vincent is so eager to find someone or something powerful enough to take the burden of "his darkness" from atop his shoulders that he convinces himself of there being divinity in the parlour tricks of a manipulator, killing a symbolic daughter in this trickster's name; Adriel would bleed humanity dry without a second thought all the while claiming to save it in draining its belief for the benefit of his own megalomania; finally, Michael subjects himself to the will and authority of Reya, whom he claims to be "unimaginably powerful".

Of course the women of Warrior Nun are mostly all ready to lay down their lives for their own cause as well, or else we wouldn't have their iconic motto of "in this life or the next", but the motivation behind it is what sets the men and the women wholly apart here. If the former are intoxicated by the concept of power, the latter are embedded in a family of sorts, in a dense network of relationships that they can identify with some ease, and which informs their decisions and actions more than just dogma or theory.

Most if not all of the female characters struggle between two different stances: one is an offshoot of the males' abstract organisation of the world, while the other is a more "hands-on", "organic" order; between "duty", or what is said to be their duty, and that which their own perception reveals, their "personal" logic by which the "self [is] delineated through connection", seeing one another as actual sisters instead of mere pieces upon the church's chess board. We see the dilemma take place within Beatrice, Camila, Lilith and Mother Superion, who are all faced with a choice of sticking to their place in a well-defined (artificial, abstract) structure or valuing instead the human connections all around them and that stand in opposition to this man-made categorisation of life.

And, one by one, they take the side of that one character who seems to have kept her lucidity and fidelity to her own understanding through it all: Mary.

Mary never lost sight of her priorities. Her focus on friends and sisters illustrates Gilligan's point rather well when she is the only one who insists on understanding what happened to Shannon all the while the OCS is made to concentrate its energies on the halo instead. Of course it blinds her to Vincent's betrayal, but that is his fault more than it is hers; her moral compass points at the right direction for the most part.

And, each at their turn, the nuns adopt (rediscover?) this same mode of thought. Beatrice's efficient, obedient soldier façade crumbles beneath the urgency of siding with Mary rather than following the arbitrary decision of some man invested with the power of an institution; Camila outright admits wanting to be kicked out of the church just so she can stay near to the people who represent her allegiance more than liturgy itself ever could; Lilith literally travels to hell and back to rejoin her sisters, regardless of how her subsequent mutations upset her loyalty later on; Mother Superion sheds her prominence within hierarchy, risking it all, by standing with "her girls". Even Ava, an outsider with no ties to the church but who so desperately wanted to "live", trades a vague, abstract notion of what "life" and "freedom" entail for the very definite, tangible reality of the family this group of women becomes for her.

Another outsider equally stuck between "bodiless" logic and the reality of human connection around her, Jillian Salvius, too, falters before choosing her side when faced with these two points of view: that of "pure" reasoning and that informed by the consciousness of surrounding relationships. Her quest for "knowledge" is not sufficiently strong so as to potentially sacrifice someone in her inner circle. Season one has her holding young Michael back from stepping into the machine she herself had created for this purpose when concern overrides calculation; season two gives us a powerful scene where she is tempted by Kristian into joining Adriel's ranks as he claims she is already a part of it all and dangles before her the forbidden fruit of the world's hidden laws, the elusive answers the scientist in her has always searched for. He tries to hook her in by simultaneously appealing to her intellectual interests as well as her understanding of the web of relationships when he claims she is another link in the chain that leads to Adriel...

And Jillian refuses him.

Kristian would never convince her of already being within this specific network of relationships because he was the one to rupture it first.

To these women, unlike the men, it's not about ideas — or, rather, about rationalisations, given how their interpretation of what is logical or reasonable is more than open to inquiry. To these women, it's not about loud, large but empty words vulnerable to tampering and shifting meanings; it's not about power.

It's about people.

Rosemarie Tong says "Gilligan believed that women's moral development takes her from an egocentric, or selfish position to an overly altruistic, or self-sacrificing position and, finally, to a self-with-others position in which her interests count as much as anyone else's" — and this seems to describe perfectly well the inner trajectory that these characters follow. We see traces of the selfish in Ava, Jillian and Lilith, as well as of the self-sacrificial in Beatrice or Suzanne, but they all appear to converge on this path towards constructing a "self-with-others" whereby they are all individuals inextricably tied to one another — and aware of it, acting accordingly. A sisterhood, a direct sisterhood that supersedes the very church structure which facilitated it to begin with.

Of course Warrior Nun is too intricately built to allow itself to be so smoothly explained; if Carol Gilligan provides a framework that helps us to identify what is so positive and deserving of attention in the female characters' attitudes as championed by one of the show's own writers, it also falls short on other points and her propositions can then be questioned by the show in turn.

We need but a few examples.

If Jillian Salvius values the significance of association with others more than she does a cold, distant overview of things (the latter being the stereotypical scientist attitude), then how is it that she seems so prepared to immolate Lilith at the altar of curiosity? One relationship takes precedence over the other, yes, and we cannot compare the love for a son to whatever affection or respect there is for anyone else, but the nature of Jillian's experimentation with Lilith, had it gone forward, is quite brutal even for the sake of a debilitated child. Jillian's stance is understandable, but this "self-with-others" thing isn't as clear-cut as we might think.

Lilith herself oscillates between those three positions of moral development described by Gilligan, going from selfish to "connected" by the end of season one, but ending season two in almost complete isolation, with only a hint towards her previous place in a web of sisters as she aids Beatrice in getting Ava to the ark... Shortly after having dug her claws into the warrior nun's flesh.

But perhaps Lilith is a more special case than we realise at first. Our early childhood experiences define much of our character, after all, and the words we use have a bearing on how we view and reconstruct the world in our discourse; Lilith's understanding of the relationships between people, of "family", probably doesn't reflect that of her sisters given the ill-treatment she must have received from her relatives. If one's primary web of relationships is so tainted, what model can it ultimately provide for later connections? Just as Ava's mistrust for nuns is justified by her previous, negative experiences at their hands, Lilith's experience with intimate or familial bonds surely affects her maturing sense of being linked to other people. If family is a positive value for Ava and Mary, for example, it cannot boast of the same meaning for Lilith, whose family is a source of stress and misunderstanding rather than a harbour of love.

The treatment she has received might have corrupted her grounds for moral judgment by communal lenses in a way Beatrice's rejection by her own parents did not, leaving Lilith adrift as long as she does not somehow attempt to re-signify what human connection ultimately means. To Lilith, as of yet, the web of relationships she necessarily belongs to mirrors the initial disposition she was brought up in, as a hierarchical structure where every link is tainted by the stench of power and domination — the OCS is a family much like her own... Where orders are given and meant to be obeyed.

We cannot know for certain what it is that she sees or feels after Adriel "unlocks" her wraith-vision, but there is something peculiar in how, reflecting this idea of abstract versus material views of the world we've been discussing, Lilith claims to see reality when she casts her eyes upon the nebulous demonic figures only few others can see. In her opposing traits are mixed, delivering a strange synthesis we cannot quite make out yet and making Lilith a hybrid both in body and in thought.

And while this fact alone seems to interrogate David Hayter's comment about how the women in the show tend to be correct, we can further complicate the statement by glancing at Reya.

There is frightfully little we know of her, but a lot of the information we do have is conflicting: Reya is unimaginably powerful, yet needs to manipulate two young people to do her bidding for her in fighting Adriel; her predictions are "meant to be" yet do not manifest in the way they were said to; she is described as some sort of benefactor by taking Michael in, but she sticks a bomb into his chest and the very sight of her sends him reeling; she is, as far as we know, a woman, yet she might very well be at odds with the other women we see in the show. How, then, are the women always right?

Perhaps they are so when following their conscience as guided by their understanding of community and sisterhood, when belonging to a network of relationships and acknowledging it. That would exclude a murderous sister Frances, a confused Lilith and a mysterious, distant Reya from the definition.

In this sense, then, even if the characters are not static or simple, even if they waver between the moral positions suggested by Gilligan and which do not seem all that definite to begin with, her text is still enlightening as relates to why the women are, "word of God", the moral touchstone of Warrior Nun.

Having been robbed of further development of the story and universe for the time being, however, precisely because of an abstracting, impersonal corporate logic that sees only numbers where there should be people and the wonderful effect this show has had on them, there is only so much we can conjecture on this subject...

#warrior nun #analysis and similar #exercises in observation #i should tag all of the characters since they're all more or less discussed but i am too lazy for that sorry #i can't explain why i took so long to write this it's been in my essay list forever. then the david hayter revelations hit #and i knew i had to finally write it strengthened by his words #it's fair to tell you i have about a trillion reservations about psychoanalysis and psychology and whatever #but you also know by now i'm a pragmatist. if the theory helps me explain something i will use it.#then again i suppose i should have read gilligan's entire book lol but my eyes wouldn't have survived #i had read her text in january of last year i think because it's in a collection of feminist texts i own in print #so yeah. grain of salt etc #i'm not sure i've properly exposed what i wanted to say but i've had enough of this text and i'm releasing it into the world lol

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crimeronan · 10 months

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in a weird place with my illness currently wherein i feel fundamentally alienated from the majority of the online spoonie community because the things happening to my body are so far beyond the scope of chronic fatigue and/or general joint pain that it's like. mindboggling. like we are living fundamentally separate lives like there is very little overlap in our fears or experiences, even when we have some shared symptoms. and at the same time i am fundamentally excluded from online Very Serious Disease (TM) communities because i do not have cancer or a terminal diagnosis and my organ damage has not been quantified yet (even tho several medical professionals have agreed it for sure exists in some form) so i'm not really sick.

i'm just so tired. there's, like..... there are tiers of Feeling Sick when you're chronically ill, and from what i've seen online most spoonies are at a tier of "coping day to day, strategizing," and then people talk about the tier of "if you suddenly unequivocally know that you're going to die extremely soon, you HAVE to go to the hospital, because you are probably right"

there's a middle tier that's more along the lines of "i am not going to die tomorrow but i am going to die. i am helpless and if i don't get help from a doctor i am going to die and i am getting slowly worse because my body is eating itself and/or shutting down because i am going to die. i am in desperate need of immediate medication that i cannot get because i have to wait to see a specialist prescriber and my body will continue to slowly shut down in the meantime and i will continue to slowly die but it will be so slow that nobody will really care"

like where do i go with that what do i do with that. what am i supposed to do about the five-year survival rate for vasculitis being 78% and most of the deaths being people who couldn't see a doctor in time to get the medicine they need. while i'm waiting to see a doctor to get the medicine i need and i'm feeling things get worse and worse. i don't have any community that's going through the same thing because i'm not sick enough but i'm also way way way too sick simultaneously.

i dunno i dunno i dunno. i'm overtired which means that my emotions are fried and people are talking about disability pride month starting tomorrow and that just made me cry because some of my physical issues are so common/widespread that i Should have a community but i just. don't. i don't have a community that's specifically Mine i'm just alone out here or at least that's how it feels. like don't get me wrong i have my family and friends and support network i'm not ALONE alone and all of that is wonderful i just. feel very alone. as far as the current experience goes.

#negative #my specialist appointment is in about three weeks and they did fit me in as fast as possible #because it's an emergency because im dying but there arent enough specialists in a post-covid long covid world. which isnt even what i have #and i am hanging on til the appointment ill be fine hanging on til then but like #imagine having a bacterial infection slowly eating into and spreading through multiple organ systems in your body #and being able to feel it happening and feel how wrong things are going and feel that you are in bad bad trouble #and when you call the doctor they say 'sorry to hear about that bacteria. we'll get you on a 6 month waiting list for antibiotics'#that's what this feels like. like i said i'm tired and i also need to eat probably but i just want it to Stop #autoimmune tag #long post

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