#sorry but I truly have so many thought

[masakia]

Hey sorry I saw ur babyfic tag and I just wanted to ask what u thought the situation w Emma (Dean’s Amazon daughter that Sam kills) would be like in context of the babyfic

Is it like holy shit Uncle Sam killed my sister?! Does Emma not die?? Is Dean suddenly 100% less chill about the whole thing because that’s his other daughter?? Is he haunted by his living child, the ghost of what his other little girl could have been?

I’m sorry I’m very normal about this I look forward to hearing more about the story (The little girl is 2?? Which is around the time Dean last bothered his brother in the ep01?? Was the last time he “bothered” Sam his attempt to tell him that he was an uncle??)

Oh I was not expecting an ask about the babyfic this makes me really happy, thank you!

And I was actually thinking about Emma earlier and while her fate would sadly be the same, I do think Dean would get a lot more pissed at Sam about it and he would have tried to reason more with Emma about what the fuck was happening. Like I could see this situation driving them to put some distance between each other and while Dean knows that Sam wouldn’t hurt his not amazon daughter, he still really pissed off cause “monster” or not, that was still his kid! If given the opportunity Dean would totally have raised her alongside his other daughter and for sure he would be haunted by the thought of Emma, especially when his daughter gets older and starts to look similar to what Emma did when Sam killed her (I don’t think the actress really looks like Jensen but I like to pretend that she looks a lot like Dean, if that makes sense).

Also for the baby (she doesn’t have a name yet, but I’ve been leaning towards Mary even if it’s a bit cliche) she would still a bit young, around 8 if I made the math right, and her reactions depends a lot on if she was with Dean and Sam at the moment the whole Emma thing happened, I imagine that Dean leaves her with Bobby when possible (and in the future maybe Cas but he is dead right now, so not really an option) especially in cases where they are pretending they are fbi (but I do think that Dean makes a joke about “take your kid to work day” at least once when she has to tag along because they don’t have anyone to take care of her after Bobby’s death). But let’s say that she was with them, I think that she would be confused initially when Emma says that Dean’s is her father cause like “He is not you dad! He is my dad, you are old!” and while I want to say that she would warm up quickly to Emma, I think she wouldn’t trust her, especially after Emma tries to kill Dean, she is a little kid after all and kids usually see the world very black and white when it comes to bad and good, so in her head her dad is good an people who try to hurt him are bad.

This is getting really long but I have so many though please, this is all to say that I think in the moment she would see things as normal just her uncle killing the bad guy because her dad couldn’t, but when she grows up she realizes how truly fucked up it was and I like to think that she takes a moment to truly mourn the sister she could’ve had, because yes while in a way she has Claire and Jack as her kind of step siblings (by Dean and Cas being a couple or whatever they decided to call that thing between them), it’s not the same as having this sister who shares the same dad as you by blood. (Her biggest moment of rebellion is when Sam refuses to kill Jack cause he has the chance to not be a monster and she is like “Well, so did my sister but you still put a bullet in her!).

Also, I do think that when the little girl was born, around 2003 which according to google is one year after Sam goes to Stanford, Sam was just not picking up any calls that came from his brother, not wanting to hear how he should come back to the family and whatever, so I do think the last time Dean really tried to contact Sam and even thought about just showing up on his doorstep was maybe a month or two after the baby was born, after this his whole focus went to his daughter until John goes missing and he does shows up at Sam’s doorstep, forgetting to tell him “so you are a uncle now so please be careful to not wake the baby at the car”.

#Spn #babyfic tag #this turned out massive #sorry but I truly have so many thought #If you wanna know more please fell free to ask!! #I love talking #ask

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The indescribable tension between an overworked and underpaid smut writer, and his biggest fan hater.

(for @frummpets)

#SVSSS #Shen yuan #shang qinghua #cumplane #Normally I don't tag with ship names but this one is a special case. #Confession time: When I first had SVSSS described to me I 100% thought the main pairing was between these two. #The dynamic is impeccable! Even if its 'just a fan ship' I stand by it. #Sorry to the people who like to think of them as handsome pretty boys. I don't. #These guys sit in their rooms and use the computer for 90% of waking hours. They are not looking after themselves well enough for good skin #They can be cute in their own way. People with acne and missed shaving spots deserve to have their romances too. #And sloppy hate makeouts <3 #Hi Sol! I truly did whoop and holler when drawing your name for the raffle! #You've been so kind and generous towards me and I'd happy to finally have the opportunity to give back some of that joy! #Thank you so much for all your support and the incredible fanart <3 You've made my day so many times! #I hope this silly mini comic is to your liking! #Playing around with colours for this one was a blast!

[untouchedsoap]

there is something sooo fucking good about early seasons ian and mickey, about watching this summer fling turn into something more, the fear that elicited from mickey but him being unable to stop, finding those little moments hidden away and taking all this meaning from small gestures and persevering in dugouts and under bleachers and barely pressed confessions in the back of a church that is soo good for my brain

like i am very glad mickey gets to shout his love for ian from the mountain tops and also beat his love for ian into his dad's face but when he was clenching his teeth shut and his love for ian was coming out regardless ohhhhh baby i was eating

#shameless us #gallavich #and also they actually gave noel something interesting to work with instead of 5 mins of nonsense in the later seasons but. what can you do #like i watch later season stuff with like equal parts 'good for them i'm happy they are happy' and 'thats not my boy' #yes my man deserves to be out and happy and a bridezilla but also he would not act like that <3 hope this helps #yes he deserves to be a diva menace no he wouldn't do it like that though <3 #yes he should get to heal from his familial trauma no he should not be forced to care for and interact with that man who should be dead #gallavich truly double edged sword of biggest win for fans and also biggest fumble #like ian's supposed to be one time hook up in s1 became his HUSBAND after years of bringing him back and sending him away rinse and repeat #because the writers hated mickey but audiences loved him #so yay they're married! time to have the most uninteresting plots for them imaginable & retcon some dumb ass traits on them for plot purpos #the last 2 seasons should have centered around ian and mickey becoming the centralizing force of the house that fiona was at the start #god there are so many tags here sorry. got more passionate about this than i thought i would #mickey milkovich

[sparkleofstardust]

i'm a few years late to the party, but since i finished gotham knights yesterday i wanted to write down my thoughts on it

there is a lot of criticism about this game, and while i agree with some points, it seems like most of it stems from people expecting it to be something that is is not. as fantastic as the batman arkham games are, gotham knights is not an arkham game. it's inevitable that you start comparing the games (it happened to me too; my arkham city muscle memory caused me to be pretty bad at the combat at first since the games do differ a lot in that regard lmao) but almost every game will fall short if you hold it up to such a high standard

seriously i don't understand why anyone would call the graphics/desgin bad ? all the characters look great and there are so many ways to customize your character ! also just look at this

it perfectly captures the foggy, rainy, slightly grimy feel that gotham has without making my eyes strain trying to see in the darkness lol. the neon lights look so cool ! definitely spent way too long just staring at the skyline.

(also shoutout to this game for having the only version of a lazarus pit so far that made me go "oh yeah i get it i would also walk into that enticing if slightly questionable liquid" lmao, it looks so pretty)

i wish the game would have leaned more into developing its main characters and their relationships with each other. the developers really understood the essence of each bat, and the interactions we get between them are some of the best parts the game has to offer ! unfortunately it rarely feels like they are working as a team, let alone as a family, which is heavily underlined by the main story at the end.

(okay but was i the only one who felt like jason was the studio's favourite ?? a lot of the times he was the focus, and even when i only played as tim i felt like i learned more about jason than anyone else lmao. i love him and it's cool to have him in the spotlight, but i wish that the others would have gotten the same treatment)

i do have some strong opinions about the story itself but this post is long enough as it is

but all around i thought it was a pretty solid game ! i enjoyed playing it, the combat was smooth, the animations never stopped looking badass and the story had me invested enough to keep exploring and finding out more

#my biggest criticism is that it had the potential to be amazing and it's slightly upsetting to see how good it could have been #i'm lowkey holding myself back from doing a whole video essay on this i have so many thoughts the brainrot has truly taken over #sorry is this long enough for a keep reading thing ? i never use those haha #dc #gotham knights #batman #nightwing #robin #red hood #batgirl #jason todd #tim drake

[chibi-scone]

It’s been said before and the fact that I’m an Izzy simp aside like having a character who survives the most certain death shit ever (shooting himself in the head at point blank) and literally being nicknamed by another character “indestructible” and then become a symbol of protection for a whole group of people die from a fucking bullet to the side that was established in universe to have no vital organs in order to “atone for his sins” or however you wanna spin it and have him say he wants to go after (see point one) literally trying to kill himself in the show that is literally about growth and betterment of the self in a cruel world that wants you dead and where the main (and mostly queer) characters survive the most batshit insane injuries is like COSMICALLY stupid writing like I don’t even understand how you get there and the fact that it’s supposed to be a kind/ happy/meaningful ending is beyond me

#and Izzy’s whole speech to Ricky before that could be interpreted as what like #being about even if you kill and try to eradicate queer people we’ll always be here #and then have RICKY deal the killing blow ???? #wahhhh it’s symbolic #ok it would’ve been more symbolic to have the fucking queer character live like idc you’re all stupid god bless #ofmd critical #tbd #maybe #oh and then I mean not even talking about how it’s supposedly all good #because the main gays who had borderline no redeeming qualities this season had their picket fence ending #literally what’s the point of having Ed come back from the dead #so he can learn that death is not the answer and that there’s love and betterment for him #and have that whole scene with Jim and Archie where they refuse to kill one another because there’s more to life than the cards #they’ve been dealt and they can be the difference #JUST TO HAVE THAT ENDING #my god I just #sorry if you guys are sick of me ranting about ofmd like 5 months after the shit show supreme #but these are like all thoughts that I’ve just had in my head for months but tried to forget #and now they’re just spilling out like idc anymore #ppl have made so many good posts that all say what I think but ig I still need to rant myself jvhsjnv #how long can your neck be for it to allow you to bury your head so deep in the sand #where you truly believe this is good writing idk #side note but gifs of cats randomly blowing up are my favourites #‘Izzy bettered himself before dying so it’s aaaallll good’ hits you hits you #stupid ass shit argument but also that was across maybe a week and dude was piss drunk dissociative half the time

[quietwingsinthesky]

obsessed with the idea of the doctor and the master standing together in opposition to gallifrey post-end of time. less in it being the reality of the situation, and more in it being what the master perceives it to be in the immediate aftermath of being. well. told he was going to be disposed of. the combination of that rejection with the doctor choosing him, the way that sets them up with a common enemy. but where that enemy for the master becomes gallifrey in the abstract with the council as the face of it, the doctor never sees it that way, never thinks of it as the two of them against their own world. the doctor, crucially, kept count of the children. when he saves gallifrey, it isn’t about the master at all, not to anyone but the master themself. because how are they supposed to take the doctor choosing gallifrey over them as anything other than a betrayal.

#the master and his stupid warped sense of importance to both the doctor’s choices and the universe as a whole #which is. well. i mean he’s not alone in that. the doctor has the same ideas about himself in relation to the master. and the universe. #only the universe obviously sometimes validates him because this is a story. about him. #but my point is. the master wanting gallifrey to burn post-end of time. setting up the hybrid prophecy as missy. makes sense to me. it does. #i just wish there was more. conflict to it. more to lash out at the doctor with because the master is choosing him so *why* isn’t he #choosing the master back. why is he trying to stop the hybrid plans. this is what they’re meant to *do*. this is what being on the same side #*means*. that there must be an opposition and that opposition must be gallifrey as a whole. because in that most crucial moment the master #got hurt. and time echoed back because of what the council did to make it so he’d been hurting his entire life. just so they could use him. #you get it? you get it. my fucked up raccoon of a man she has so many issues. #it’s just such a fascinating concept to me because that is still *gallifrey*. that’s still his home. the master is not heartless. #when he tries to connect with the doctor he does it to references to gallifrey’s physical features. this is a place he mourned you know? #in his way. so. you know. how do you look at your home and want it to burn right? how far do things have to escalate that you’d rather it be #ash than a place to go back to. and how do you deal with pushing forward with this plan. when you thought you wouldn’t have to push it alone #like for one minute there they were really truly on the same side. their own side. and then they weren’t. and no one told the master that #they weren’t anymore until she got punched in the head by that knowledge. you know? #rambling again im so sorry #doctor who #thoschei #the doctor #the master

[twinstxrs]

boo *exu calamity au’s your bad kids*

#riz cerrit gorgug laerryn ​kristen zerxus fig loquatius adaine patia & fabian nydas btw. if anyone cares #(nightmare king era cass as asmodeus… obviously w/ fig instead but ayda evandrin… ANYWAYSSS) #i can’t remember her name but that One Bitch patia & laerryn hated is kipperlily copperkettle… patia as adaine for that let’s go haters! #need to do a rewatch honestly just to Remember shit also to maybe fully flesh this out #like i have a lot of thoughts here that i could expand upon rn but i’ve forgotten SO many parts of calamity atp bc i’m not into cr &- #have only watched it fully the one time & just generally rewatched certain parts idk how many times #me trying to explain how nydas’s perspective shift with the prophecy is sooo fabian but i can’t remember literally anything: so uh… because- #fantasy high #the bad kids #listen these tags might not be saying much of anything but when i say fig gorgug ayda loquatius laerryn evandrin TRUST ME ok… it’s sooo #same w/ zerxus asmodeus kristen nk!cassandra #also thing i think is funny: purvan or whoever is tracker & trackerbees are still exes and there’s just CRAZYYYY gay tension in every scene #wait i’m sorry even more stupid idea: yk how nydas has the hodmedods? fabian has those rats that show hole. there’s truly an army of them

[pianapplez]

Hello there 👋👀,

So I just found your blog and had a lot of fun scrolling through all the pjo show crit😂 I couldn't help but notice that one tag you left on a post where you said you had some beef with Annabeth's portrayal in the books 👀 Would you mind elaborating on that if you're comfortable with it🙈? Because I absolutely share that sentiment, but it's sooo veeeery rare that I see other people express anything like it... I've found that trying to be a part of the fandom can be pretty alienating most of the time, if you're not exactly the biggest most devoted Percabeth shipper...😅 And often any criticism leveled at Annabeth just gets you a smack with the "internalized-misogyny" hammer... it's even worse in the tv show now due to... obvious reasons...

Again just if you're comfortable with answering of course🙈 There is a reason I stayed on anon after all...😅😂

Really glad you asked because i finally get to ramble about this heheheh (going forward, know that i skimmed over The Last Olympian to have a clearer sense of what I meant because that's the book where Rick fumbles her character more than the others)

i'm gonna try to make as much sense as possible but short answer would be, she's underdeveloped. Long answer:

She really got on my nerves in the last two books, with the whole Rachel debacle and then the Battle of New York. I can't really remember a single moment in those books where she and Percy aren't bickering or having heated discussions, which really made me question their friendship status. Of course, it's not like friends can't fight and it obviously builds up the (romantic) tension between them, but it got unbearable at one point.

I understand she's a teenager in an incredibly stressful situation that didn't even get to have a normal upbringing- she grew up way too fast (run away at 7, head counselor at 12) while also not really maturing, which is not a problem for a character, if it is handled properly. Given the fact that I am writing this, Riordan did not.

On the surface, my biggest beef is that Annabeth is not exactly held accountable for her actions (ie. treating Rachel a bit like shit and going off on Percy for a bunch of stuff.) I know Percy is to blame a bit here: as far as we know, in TLO he basically cuts the greek world out of his life as much as he can as a coping mechanism. And while yes, he never apologizes either, he doesn't give her nearly half the hard time she gives him: always either giving him the cold shoulder (there must be at least one example of this in the entire series but i cant be bothered to look it up sorry) or starting an argument only to then storm off (see the "you're a coward, Percy Jackson!" scene, which is not the fairest example since she was confronting Percy about ignoring camp but also was a bit too harsh about it) (especially after finally reading the prophecy and being under the impression that he was absolutely going to die when he turned 16 lmao) or just straight up storming off (see, Annabeth reacting when Rachel shows up for the first time during the battle of new york). While most of these feel, at least to some degree, fairly justified given how the entire situation does an absolute number on her emotions, she comes off a bit brattish and like she's trying to rile Percy up, especially when it comes to Rachel, which in the context of a battle that could mean the destruction of the world.... Well, it reads as a bit childish to me, and i wouldn't exactly have that much of a problem with it if it was dealt with in some way (a two-way apology would be nice).

After that first impression, i realized that Annabeth is barely ever anything else other than a plot device (when relating to Luke) or a love interest (when relating to Percy). This might be because the books are on Percy's POV. Hell, on the third book he's even conflicted when Annabeth is considering joining the Hunters of Artemis, aka, when making a choice for herself would mean he loses her (which is fine and dandy but it feels like Percy is more upset about her choosing her own path rather than being sad about not seeing her as often); we really only get a few glimpses of her, as in, actually her when she's on her own.

Obviously it's impossible to talk about Annabeth without touching on percabeth, which also is, in my opinion, what hinders Annabeth's character the most. On paper they sound great. The guy whose fatal flaw is loyalty falls in love with a girl whose been let down by people over and over, and she decides to never give up on the boy whose always had people give up on him (can't find one of the million posts that talks about this right now but it always goes something like that) And yeah, the bickering is really well written! But that's literally as far as it ever goes: they don't ever seem to have fun together, because 8 times out of 10 the bickering ends up being passive aggressive, and mostly done by Annabeth. My biggest gripe about percabeth is that their friendship seems to be based off... shared trauma. Literally. Other than going on quests together we are given no examples of them hanging out, nor a reason why they would want to spend time together in the first place, not even a shared hobby. Yes, in the fourth book they had a movie "date" planned but of course they didn't even get to it, and surprise surprise, they had a minor discussion, and surprise surprise, Annabeth was passive aggressive again. It's hard to picture them having fun together when even the author doesn't write in any scenes in which they get along smoothly (and before you say anything, a scene in which they get along where neither of them is about to die, and they're not talking about previous adventures. Gets a bit hard then, doesn't it?) It's even harder to picture them as a couple when the moment she gets upset about something, she starts coming off as emotionally manipulative (see, again, literally any conversation with Rachel or about Rachel)

To be fair, the books are relatively short and don't allow many "filler" chapters, if you will; there's always something happening to keep the main plot or a minor plot point moving forward, but it's not like there is no room to develop the characters' relationships, especially when we're talking about the main char and what is essentially his endgame. As an example we have Percy and Clarisse, or Percy and Beckendorf. Their interactions are brief but still hold so much weight.

Worst of all, Annabeth could be one hell of a character; what's most interesting of all is how being a daughter of Athena she is still incredibly emotionally driven, which is displayed very clearly with her fatal flaw being pride: her telling the Sphynx that her questions were too easy was not smart nor strategic: it was completely impulsive. I seriously think she wasn't far from being the best character in the series had she been given more time.

I guess i have as much beef with Annabeth as i have with Rick for doing her dirty. I really could sum this up with: while her emotions are justified, she acts upon them quite poorly. And this is what i mean when i say she's underdeveloped, because it would've been nice to see her come to her senses a bit.

Would love to read anyone's opinions on her character though, feel free to comment, even (or especially) if you don't agree with me!

#pjo crit #anti percabeth #annabeth chase #percy jackson #tbotl #pjo tlo #the last olympian #percy jackson and the olympians #congrats anon on being my first ask!!! #sorry if it's too long or rambly i just have so many thoughts about her. #i dont hate her i dont even dislike her im just conflicted about her. sad that half of her conflict was being jealous over a boy #like yeah i guess said boy was the first real friend she ever had but also rick wrote it in a very “girls fighting over boy” kind of way #didn't really write it to make it seem like annabeth's reasons were anything more than just a hormonal teen acting out. there were no layer #sometimes i feel like im being unfair to annabeth and that maybe her being emotional and mean sometimes is her character and #she's actually written well and i just don't like her? but then i think over it and im not ready to give rick that kind of credit lmao #i truly believe he wrote her beef with rachel to entertain middle graders without really thinking twice about it #annabeth adds to the drama with her passive aggressive comments but at what cost.... maybe im reading too much into it idk #maybe i just find boy drama annoying.. #but making it so that rachel is bound to maidenhood was such a lazy way to get rid of her as a romantic interest #the way rick butchered her character and any char dev for any of them in the tv show by rushing so many things... god. that's another story #if there are any typos i'll edit them later but my eyes are dry af right now and its late jdsjdfh anyway i hope my takes were interesting? #maybe i don't have that much beef with annabeth herself but the fact that percabeth is seen as the best endgame couple when i don't see it

[thecryptidbard]

Just finally got to watch the new Halloween Ghosts episode and oh my god this might truly have been The Most Episode of Television of all time.

#dutifully writes ‘I will not doubt the ghosts writers ever again’ over and over on the chalkboard like Bart Simpson #I am so so sorry to all my followers bc I am not going to be remotely normal about this #cbs ghosts spoilers #cbs ghosts #abdksgfjksbfls it was. truly an episode of all time #they were all so on their game the writing was fucking fantastic #they once again struck the perfect outrageously goofy level that they always do at their very best #I feel like anytime there’s one main plot that all the ghosts are pretty involved in the episode ends up being so so good #aaahhhh I have so many thoughts on this one y’all #it speaks

[polaraffect]

crazy just howww much saltburn was a movie filmed For Me. i was there for the dark academia boom on tumblr. i was part of its creation. there's like a straight line between my posting about the secret history on tumblr and the creation of this film.

#damien.txt #just thought abt how this is like. every revenge fantasy anyone in the tsh fandom cooked up in like 2018 lmao #to be fair it is more than that but like. it's also just very very there #anyways this post is abt dark academia specifically but like. in so many other ways #the gay longing obv. the dog motifs. the fact that felix is wearing a juliet costume at the party. #sickeningggggg maybe i would be better off if i hadn't seen this movie #i can literally tell i will defend this movie to its death i dont even care #like it has objective problems but truly they do not even matter to me. i feel like it is my child. #could it have been more transgressive? yes! but also no have you seen the response to it #anywayyys sorry ill stop posting abt it for now but like. truly nauseating the level at which i will be thinking abt this #saltburn

[enden-k]

im sorry to hear people are stomping all over your boundaries, big props to you for sticking up for yourself and putting your foot down. I hope you're doing ok (/gen)

on another, hopefully happier note, i noticed your info post mentions that you self ship! I'd love to hear about your favourite self ships if you're comfortable talking about them some time?

i actually never did or had interest in this but then haitham waltzed in so hes the first and only one (this whole thing flusters me so its smth i indulge in for myself in private by reading or daydreaming or sometimes i babble and ramble about him very in depth)

(most hkvthm things i draw is just me going 'wish that was me' and drawing it LMFAO)

ohh also same w kaveh but in a slightly different way than haitham (theyre both the only ones) i want them to hold hands. i want them to hold my hands. there

#i dont feel attraction to ppl irl mostly bc im just not comfortable around ppl #and the ones i am are my friends and theres obv no romantic attraction #so when i saw haitham and learned more and mroe of him and how he and i share so many traits and ideas and things it was #instant comfort and the feeling of being understood #that its like #if he was real i would seek out his warmth and presence instead of getting away frm it like with my ex partners when it was too much for me #knowing that he would understand me therefore knowing how to handle me without making me uncomfortable or upset #uhh so basically. he made me realize all i want is just someone who perfetly understands me and knows how to treat me #when to come close and when to give me space #perfectly knowing me and reading me #i cant speak and in the rare moments i am able to im often struggling to form my thoughts into sentences that make sense #so he would still understand and put together that garbled mess and know exactly what i mean #not misunderstanding and acusing me of things or tones i never said or used #ppl and things messed me up quite a bit in the past that im having trouble w lots of things unless im alone #only when im alone i feel truly comfortable and safe bc nothing can hurt or upset me but even then you kinda realize in some moments that #you actually want someone with you but it has to be smn you trust and who knows you inside out and all that #i dont have anyone like that and idk if i ever will but rn this character is jsut rotating in my head giving me these things i crave and #thats enough #sorry that was a lot of gay rambling there but yea idk if it sounds stupid or nah but my #mental health issues got way better and balanced ever since haitham so he really #grounds me and gives me strength and comfort to deal with things i would have be unable to do in the past year #bc even if i dont have smn who truly knows and understands me #inside me there is someone #reply #tags tbd #in case i get embarrassed LMFAO

[genderqueerpond]

amyeleven fivenyssa crossover

#the three people who would like to read this get excited and then get disappointed because i never finish anything #but the thing about fivenyssa is that she's his daughter #and it's supremely fucked up #and the thing about amyeleven is that she's his Everything and it's supremely fucked up #and also she's the one who asked the doctor if he's a father and well. she'd get it the second she saw nyssa #i know that line was SUPPOSED to be about susan and susan's hypothetical parents but in my heart it's about nyssa of traken #and the thing about eleven and nyssa is that they'd have extremely deep and intimate conversation about being the last of their kind #she's probably the only person in the universe that he could talk about it truly openly with and it'd be like. #nyssa I'm so sorry i never fully understood you. i couldn't. i do now #and she'd be so SAD about it because she never ever wanted that for him #she never WANTED him to understand her like that because the only way he ever could was to go through the same thing #and nyssa would never consider that price to be worth it #but now she knows it's going to happen and she can never tell her own doctor #and it's devastating devastating but also deeply healing for them both but especially eleven #.... #and the thing about amy & five is that she'd know him. of course she would. she'd Believe he's the doctor and Understand about regeneration #and immediately tell him about the first time she met Her raggedy Doctor and he'd be like. you shouldn't be telling me this but #he'd be stunned and captivated by the amount of love and also possesiveness in her voice and wouldn't be able to bring himself to stop her #and she'd see straight through him and make him feel naked and raw and at the end she'd hug him goodbye and kiss him on the forehead #the way eleven does her because he's a CHILD to amy compared to eleven and he can't hide that #and the thing about eleven and five is that they'd each be deeply ashamed of the other #and finally #the thing about amy and nyssa is that they'd make out sloppy style #..... #............ #voices offscreen: #'i can't believe you called her my daughter and then made out with her' #'yeah and how many times have you made out with my daughter what's your point' #lavender thoughts #dw

[jamisonwritestf2trash]

Me realizing I'm using my "hobby" as a coping mechanism, and that it's really ruining my perception of things: Darn :(

#ventish #sorry for venting #late night thoughts go HARD❗️ #non tf2 post #this is not about writing btw!! #i am still very much trying to do that and i am very sorry for not being better with it you all are truly wonderful human beings for puttin #up with me and my bullshit i have so many promised fics and i swear i am tryinf #i love you guys actually so thank you again all 316 of you #kissing/hugging/respecting boundaries all of you <3

[no-1-rosalind-lang-apologist]

Guess what I found on the internet today

#I don’t think this needs to go on the flf tag but yes it was flf #if you are seeing this I’m so so sorry you do not want to know #fanfiction about real people is. A Choice. #that was just something else entirely #I don’t know why I read that I felt obligated to though #I would never want to make fun of someone for something that they put a lot of effort into and I’m not trying to do that #however I also saw that at around 5:30 am and I did not sleep last night #also the amount of psychic damage that has caused me is truly unparalleled #I have so many questions and I want absolutely none of them answered #it wasn’t even smut or close to smut it was just a whole experience #I am absolutely terrified that the person who wrote that is going to find this somehow #if they do. hi. #how are you. I’m going to think about you for the rest of my life #not good thoughts not bad thoughts I just have a lot of questions but please don’t answer any of them #4555 words split into 3 chapters published in may 2023 #I think I texted my friend a whole book of me losing my mind after I saw it on ao3 and they haven’t responded yet 💀 #welp #please send help i genuinely have no idea what to do with my life now #i feel like i have seen everything

[bandzboy]

but btw i am saying this as someone who is learning production for like a year now but if i didn’t have the support i had for my teachers i probably would have given up 😭 they give constructive criticism when it’s needed and were never weird towards me (especially how most men in this industry treat women in the music field i always felt welcomed and respected) and so what i am trying to say is that when you are learning and starting out you will make mistakes and all of that and the people teach you have to give you pointers and and criticize when needed and give advice but they cannot tell you and shouldn’t put you down and say you can’t do it?? i feel like if someone told me that it would be so demoralizing and again, idk if i would still want to produce after that so it’s quite insane to me how despite all of that unsolicited hate hongjoong got from eden in the beginning and for a while during his trainee period, he still pulled through and is very respected as a producer and songwriter by many and is talent doesn’t go unnoticed even non stans praise him for it which makes me so happy

#sorry for ranting but i just thought abt this #like there have been so many ups and downs for me to #even pursue music and producing #and so i can’t imagine what is like to have a mentor that is #so unsupportive of me and keeps bringing me down #truly i was lucky and still think i am #but it’s quite impressive how that didn’t stop hongjoong #to keep doing music regardless #tris.txt

[hooved]

i dunno if this is like weird advice to give, but for anyone who is or has a partner/friend/etc. who's interested in a threesome (or more), you gotta make sure that everyone involved is emotionally ready for that. if you or someone else might get jealous, then just don't do it. don't lie and say you're ready just because you wanna make your partner happy, or because of peer pressure, or even just because you're attracted to someone involved, etc., if you're having any doubts at all then just say so. this is something you need to discuss thoroughly beforehand. jealousy or any other sort of emotional discomfort during group sex WILL negatively affect your relationship(s) with whoever's involved. if sex is an experience that's very important and personal to you and you're not ready to share that with someone other than your partner(s) then there's no shame in turning it down. a good partner wouldn't be upset by you setting boundaries. your comfort is more important than the opportunity to have a threesome

#sorry if this is too personal/tmi or whatever but i was just thinking about one of my exes and like #i asked her many times beforehand if she was okay with it. i really really wanted to make sure she was comfortable. she told me she was #but it still made her jealous and that did irreparable damage to our relationship. i could tell pretty quickly that it was a mistake #and yeah we don't talk anymore for mostly unrelated reasons (i unfortunately learned she wasn't a great person) but i still regret that #i could see after we broke up (which was mutual because we were....not as compatible as we thought. as mentioned above) #that she was always going out of her comfort zone to try to make me happy. and i genuinely feel bad about that. i would never ask for that #i wouldn't have been upset if she told me she wasn't sure about it because i don't wanna put anyone in an uncomfortable situation like that #anyway this was like. 9 or so years ago at this point. i still wanna apologize to her but i feel like it'd be weird to bring up y'know #but yeah i just want ppl to know this kinda stuff is avoidable if you have a truly honest discussion beforehand #and if there's any doubt at all then it's best to just not go through with it because your feelings could change at any moment tbh #but if you're all emotionally prepared then threesomes can be great ! exhausting but that's a given lmao