#i am still very much trying to do that and i am very sorry for not being better with it you all are truly wonderful human beings for puttin

[atlabeth]

(not so) simple finale - anthony bridgerton

masterlist

summary: coercing lord bridgerton into pretending to court you to avoid the affections of a baron is very simple — that is, until it isn’t.

a/n: so um ignore how long every part of this took to come out. i have no excuse. anyways we are finally here at the end!! almost 10k words of proper regency soap opera type shit and it all ends happily i promise. i hope u enjoy because damn this was supposed to be a short one shot and ended up being over 40k lmao

wc: 9k

warning(s): angst, reader is a lil insecure, slightly steamy make out scene, happy ending<333

You’d never been this restless before. 

Your dreams had a part to play in it. They insisted on tormenting you, though not in the usual way. 

No, these dreams would have been pleasant had they come any sooner. For Anthony Bridgerton appeared in near every single one, with his charming smile and soft eyes and hair you always desired to run your fingers through. 

He would smile at you, offer his arm and walk with you all around the park and the city as you talked for hours. He would compliment you, and you would compliment him, and he would court you as a perfect gentleman would. 

He would kiss you, ravenously so. His hands would touch you where no one had touched before, leaving trails of fire in their wake, would unearth feelings you never could have imagined. He would revere you, near worship you, because in this world you never made such ill-advised choices. In this world, you never dragged him into a worthless scheme that ended with a ruined reputation and a broken heart.  

In this world, he loved you just as much as you loved him, and you never did a single thing to make him doubt that. 

But you were not there. 

You were here, in the real world. Where you were in the midst of reaping what you spent a whole season sowing. 

You were roused from that less than peaceful attempt at sleep—though thoughts of Anthony took longer to disappear—by the opening of your door, and despite your visitor attempting to be quiet, you found your eyes fluttering open against your will.

“Oh, dearest,” your mother lamented, “I did not mean to wake you. I apologize; I merely wanted to check on you. I will return later—please, rest.”

“No,” you murmured, and you rubbed your eyes as you pushed yourself into a sitting position. Small movements were much easier, which at least meant a step in the right direction. “No, stay. Please.”

“Are you sure?” she asked. When you nodded, she closed the door lightly behind her and sat on your bedside, laying her hand over yours. 

She whispered your name, her voice already thick with tears that she was trying to hide. “I am so glad you are alright.” 

“You say that every time you come in here,” you said.

“And I will continue to say it.” She shook her head. “You nearly perished. You should consider yourself lucky I am not in here at all hours of the day.” 

You managed a smile, and she sighed. “How do you feel?”

“Better,” you said. “I am still sore, but much better.”

“Good,” she said. “All I can ask is that you continue to get better.” 

“The rest has certainly been nice,” you said. “Am I still a true lady despite my late wakings?” 

“You have always been a true lady,” your mother assured with a slight smile. 

“I believe you may be the only one that still thinks so.” 

“If you are feeling ready, there is a ball in a fortnight,” she said. “It could be a good way to garner good will again.” You gave her a look, and she held up her hands. “I understand how you feel, but your presence is important. There are… rumors floating about, and we must lay them to rest.” 

“Rumors,” you muttered wryly. “That your daughter is an ungrateful wench and will die a spinster?” 

She said your name sternly, and you shook your head. “I read what Whistledown wrote about me—she’s likely written a hundred more. I do not care what any of them think of me, Mother. I am only sorry for the pain it has caused you and Father, and the Bridgertons.” 

“The Bridgerton name is strong enough to weather scandal,” she said. “We have to work a bit harder. And making an appearance in society again, especially with Lord Cardew by your side, will help.” 

You suppressed a scoff at the mere thought of him. You’d been granted such a reprieve from Lord Cardew because of Anthony’s influence, and while you were recovering, no one but family was to see you. But soon—very soon—he would be your entire life. 

“That brings up another question,” your mother said wryly, and when you met her eyes she was giving you a very pointed look. “Are you still sure about this?” 

No, you wanted to say. You couldn’t be less sure about Jonathan Cardew. But you’d dragged your family into this mess of yours, so it was your duty to fix it. 

Plenty of women married much more dreadful men every year. You should have considered yourself lucky that a man of his breeding, of his standing was interested in you at all—especially after the season you’d spent distancing yourself from him and the scandal you’d caused. 

“...Yes,” you finally said. “I am sure.”

Your mother sighed and said your name. “You are sure? You have not reached out to Anth—” 

“There is nothing left between us,” you interrupted. “I know it is not the best situation, and I know it is my fault, but I am making the best of it. All I ask is that you support me. It is hard enough attempting to make my way through this world—I need my mother to be there for me rather than constantly pushing against it all.”

“...Of course,” she said quietly. “And I am so sorry that I have ever done differently. My dear, all I ask in return is that you understand me, as well as the decisions I make. All I want is the best for you, and I know that marriage is not what you desire, but there are things we must do.” 

“Of course,” you said, and your echoing words spurned a small smile from her. “I am sorry that I have always fought you so much. All I could see was my hatred for any kind of union, but all I managed was hurting you and Father, as well as myself, and— and I cannot think of any apology that will be enough.” You shook your head with a mirthless laugh. “I’ve no idea how you put up with me for so long, truly.” 

“I’ve never had to put up with you,” she said. “I realize I may not have done the best job at showing it, but— but I love you more than anything in this world. Everything I have ever done has been for you, my darling. You are the future of our name, and I know you will do an excellent job at carrying on our legacy.” 

“Truly?” you asked softly. 

Your mother nodded as she took your hands and smiled at you. “Truly. Nothing in this world can change my love for you. You are our greatest accomplishment.” 

You swallowed the sudden lump in your throat as you smiled as well, and you pulled your mother into a hug. She reciprocated, and tears filled your eyes. You’d missed the comfort of her presence so dearly. 

“I love you too,” you whispered. 

-

“Are you alright, my lady?” 

Your lady’s maid's words snapped you out of the stupor you’d found yourself in, and it was all you could do to attempt a smile. 

“Yes, Julia,” you said. “Quite alright.” 

Her brows furrowed as she draped a pendant around your neck, the cold metal turning your exhale slightly shaky. “Pardon my plainness, my lady, but you are not believable in the slightest.” 

“You have been around me for far too long,” you said dryly. “I request another maid, one that cannot read me so easily.” 

Julia offered a wry smile. “You are stuck with me for now, my lady. What is weighing so heavily on your mind?” 

You stared yourself in the mirror as you turned the question over. It was not as easy to answer as it should have been, not when everything was so out of order. Not when you hardly recognized the reflection staring back at you, wrapped in orange silk and adorned in jewels courtesy of Lord Cardew. 

You were not yourself—you were to be Baron Jonathan Cardew’s wife, a baroness and status symbol to hang off his arm and smile prettily, and Baroness Cardew was who stared back at you. 

Only a few more balls remained until the season came to an end, and though Lord Cardew was doing your family an immense service by giving you a second chance, he did not want to wait much longer to make it official. 

It was all planned out. Your relationship would truly enter the public eye tonight with your dances, you would promenade in open parks to have as many eyes on you as possible. He would call on you and your meager staff would be encouraged to spread rumors. Another ball would pass together, enough to hopefully weather some of the scandal you’d created, and then…

Then, he would propose. 

You would accept. 

And the fate you’d been so intent on avoiding would be sealed. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat, blinking back the impending tears. 

“I am nervous,” you admitted. “My decision didn’t exactly feel… real. Not until I was standing at the modiste getting fitted for this gown with one of Cardew’s maids. And all this jewelry…” Your fingers trailed across the raised designs on the pendant. “It makes it even more so.” 

“I can only imagine,” Julia said. “He has certainly put in effort.” 

“And yet it all feels hollow.” You moved away from the mirror and stopped in front of your vanity. The light blue reticule sitting near your jewelry box felt as if it was mocking you. 

Julia said your name with a sigh. “You made your choice. You pushed him away.” 

“I know,” you murmured, tracing the embroidery with your finger. “But feelings do not disappear so quickly.” 

“He wrote letters,” she said. “After you moved from Bridgerton House to recover here, after I refused his calling on you for the hundredth time, he wrote letters and delivered them by hand.” 

You picked at a loose strand of white thread on the purse, jaw clenched so tight you thought your teeth might crack. 

“He told me he did not care if you didn’t want them,” Julia continued softly. “He just needed you to know how he felt.” 

“This is how it has to be,” you finally said, voice shaking. 

“And what makes you think that?” Julia challenged. “You believe you have to live a life of misery simply because half the ton does so in the name of reputation and riches?” 

“Two things I no longer have any of,” you murmured. “Cardew’s pedigree is enough to get both back for my family. It is my duty, Jules, and I can no longer hide from it.” 

Your lady’s maid looked at you with desperation in her eyes when there was a knock on the door followed by your mother calling your name. You nodded your permission and she opened it.

“Lady Worthing,” she said, curtsying just so to your mother. “I’ve finished getting her ready—I’ll give the two of you some time alone.” 

“Thank you, Julia,” your mother said with a smile. She turned back to you, her eyes softer than ever as she moved forward and set her hands on your shoulders. 

“My darling,” she said, “you look so beautiful. I did not lie when I called you the crown jewel of our family.” 

You couldn’t help but smile at her compliment, trying to ignore the tightness in your chest. “Thank you, Mother. I’m glad I can make you proud.” 

She murmured your name, turning you so you faced the mirror. You saw yourself more this time, feeling more assured with your mother standing behind you holding all the stars in her eyes. 

“I have always been proud of you, darling,” she murmured. “Even if I did not show it in the best way. I love you more than words can express. I meant it when I said you are our greatest achievement.” 

You let out a shaky breath, leaning back against her. She allowed you to sink into her and you felt the tears brimming in your eyes. 

“...I’m afraid, Mother,” you whispered. “To marry. To be a wife.” 

She was silent for a moment, busying herself with adjusting your jewelry before she spoke.

“I was afraid too,” she admitted. “I hardly knew your father outside of a few promenades, and one lovely bouquet of flowers. It was almost fully arranged by our parents. But when he proposed, he vowed to always be my friend, and to always take care of me.” 

“Has he?” you asked. 

“Yes,” she said. “We did not love each other on our wedding day. But he has always been kind to me, and he has always advocated for me, and we have always been there for each other. We love each other now, in our own way. And,” she smiled, smoothing down the lace on your sleeves, “together, we brought you into the world. I would do it all over again if it meant I would get you in the end.” 

You could not imagine considering Lord Cardew a friend, nor the opposite. He saw you as just another pretty jewel to adorn himself with. 

Anthony saw you as a friend— as more. He always listened to what you had to say, always entertained your jokes with some of us own, never talked down on you. He saw you as an equal. 

 “I do not know if any woman is prepared to marry,” she finally said. “Even those that marry for love still have initial doubts. There are so many expectations of our behavior when we are told so little of what we must actually do.” 

“How do you do it?” you asked. “You married a man you didn’t know. You raised a child. You held face against a society that shamed you for only having a daughter.” 

“All you can do is trust in yourself, and in those around you,” she said. “If you are with the right person, everything will feel as natural as breathing. You will not care what anything thinks of you, because there is only one opinion that matters.” 

There was one man you felt natural around, one who you felt you could speak your mind around and not be judged. One man that you’d fallen in love with, that surely hated you in return for what you’d done to him. 

Your voice came out as little more than a whisper. “What should I do, Mother?” 

“You know what you must do,” she said softly. “All I can do is support you.” 

-

You’d rubbed your palms on your dress at least fifteen times since you’d arrived. A fruitless effort, considering you were wearing gloves, but you could not stand still. 

Your conversation with Lord Cardew had taken everything out of you, your dance with him even more so—an especially damning fate seemed ahead of you. But you could tune him out well enough, at least. 

It was an entirely different deal when the Bridgertons showed up. 

Violet walked in arm and arm with Anthony and Benedict, and Colin had a loose hold on Eloise. And to make matters worse, Daphne Bridgerton, alongside her husband the Duke of Hastings, were making an appearance. What an honor, to have the chance to embarrass yourself in front of such highly ranking nobles. 

Eloise branched off immediately after they passed the threshold, much to the protests of her mother, but your mother immediately pulled you in their direction. You could only imagine her thoughts—if she could get the Duke of Hastings touting for the Worthings, that would make things much easier.  

Anything for the optics, you supposed. But when you met Anthony’s eyes for the first time, you had to avert your gaze. He just looked so damn sad. 

“It is good to see you again, Violet,” your mother said. “And it is an honor, Duke and Duchess Hastings.” The both of you curtsied, and you could see the Duke’s slight smile. 

“I consider it my honor to meet the woman who has been the center of such conversation this season,” he said. You felt the heat rise to your cheeks, and thankfully Violet stepped in. 

“It is good to see you as well, Cecilia.” Violet smiled as she looked at you. “Especially you, my dear.” 

You bowed your head. “Thank you, Lady Bridgerton, Duke Hastings. I am grateful to be here.” 

Benedict smiled, the notion warmer than anything you deserved. “You look lovely, Miss Worthing. Especially for someone who escaped death with such recency.”

Anthony’s eyes remained on you the entire time, and more than anything you wished you could read this mind. The man probably hated you, and he had every right to do so. You just wished your feelings for him weren’t so insurmountable. 

You swallowed the lump in your throat and smiled as believably as you could. “Thank you, Mister Bridgerton. You also look well.”

Your mother nudged your shoulder and your gaze met Anthony’s once more. He still hadn’t looked away from you. 

You bowed your head once more. “Lord Bridgerton. It… is good to see you.”

No wonder you actually ended up falling in love with Anthony. It was the only way anyone could believe this ruse—you were quite an awful actress. 

Anthony lowered his head as well, his poise stiff. “A pleasure, Miss Worthing.”

“We’re glad to see you’re doing well,” Violet said, her smile a bit thin. You could only imagine the conversation that would occur between her and your mother later. “You caused us all quite a scare.”

“Oh, Anthony was so worried,” Daphne said, pressing a hand to her chest. “I’m thankful we have the chance to attend this ball so I could see you in person.” 

“I’ve recovered well,” you nodded, and you looked at Violet. “My family and I thank you immensely for your kindness and your doctor’s care. We’ll be in your debt endlessly.”

“There is no need for that,” Violet said. “It is enough that you are still here.”

Your cheeks burned but you tried to smile anyways. You wanted to burrow into a hole and never come out. It seemed the Bridgertons were capable of endless grace in public when they surely had to despise you. 

“Eloise has run off somewhere over near the strings,” Benedict provided in the silence. “I’m sure she would appreciate your companionship tonight.”

You glanced at your mother and she nodded, and your smile at Benedict was much more genuine. “Of course. I’ve been meaning to talk with her.” 

You mouthed thank you to him when your mother could not see, and he nodded. He’d always been so decent to you. 

You could not help but glance at Anthony as you went, and his gaze followed you. He would resent you if he had any sense, but it seemed the opposite—the sadness in his eyes was fatal.

You took a glass of lemonade from the refreshments table when you passed it, needing something to do with your hands. You found your way to Eloise’s side soon enough, and her eyes lit up when she caught sight of you.

“It is so good to see you,” she breathed. “I’ve only just arrived, and I’ve already had to fend off suitors. They just cannot seem to understand I hold such little care for them.” 

“I am just as glad to see you,” you admitted. “I do not think I can get through this night alone.” 

“I cannot imagine why,” Eloise said sarcastically. “I’ve heard the news. And I must say, it is your poorest decision this season.”

Your laugh was mostly out of surprise, and you nearly dropped the flute of lemonade you were holding. You were on edge far more than you expected—you almost wished your glass was full of champagne. 

“At least somebody is speaking plainly,” you murmured, your gaze distant and unfocused. “I think the rest of your family must hate me, but they’re all too kind to say it.” 

Eloise frowned. “Why would any of them hate you?” 

Your grip tightened on your glass. “Because I caused an immense scandal and then ended things with Anthony?”

She huffed a laugh, her eyebrows now rising. “Our family has weathered many a scandal, and we are still here. Or have you forgotten how Daphne’s dearest husband chose to court her?”  

“That is different,” you insisted. 

“I think it is worse, actually,” Eloise said plainly. “Simon is a duke, and Anthony nearly killed him before Daphne knocked some sense into him.” She chuckled and shook her head. “Truly, it was a disaster. We Bridgertons have a knack for them.” 

“As do I,” you said with a loose laugh. “I was stabbed, Eloise. I nearly died in your brother’s arms.” 

“And we nearly died in our drawing room,” she said. “Anthony, most of all. He cares for you immensely.” 

“Surely he cannot,” you insisted. “Not after what I’ve done.” 

“I am not blind,” Eloise said, “and neither are you. So do not demerit our intelligence and pretend as if you do not see it.” 

“I— I know.” You wrapped your arms around your midsection, and you grimaced as the jewelry on your wrists brushed against your skin. You were covered head to toe in finery that didn’t belong to you, and you itched from the inside out. “But I don’t know where to go from here.” 

“It’s quite obvious, isn’t it?” Eloise looked across the room, where Lord Cardew stood talking to your mother, and then over at her brother, who couldn’t have been less interested in the lady trying to strike up conversation with him. Then her gaze fell to you. “You’ve got a choice to make.” 

“I’ve already ruined things,” you murmured. “I— I can’t just back out of this.”

“I can tell you that you certainly haven’t ruined things with my brother. And Lady Whistledown’s speculation is the only thing binding you to that lecher.” Eloise shrugged. “You’ve already broken off one courtship. What’s another?”

Your eyes met Anthony’s from across the room. Once again, he’d already been looking at you. You averted your gaze quickly, feeling the heat rush to your face, and you tried to steady your breathing. He had no right to still have such an effect on you. 

“I need some air,” you murmured. “Will you—”

“Of course,” Eloise said. “You are simply touching things up in the powder room.”

You nodded your thanks and slipped out of the ballroom, finally able to drop the facade you’d been trying to uphold. You truly felt as if you were overheating, and the cool air was hardly of aid once you reached the outdoors.

Everything was all wrong—your dress, this damned tiara, the bracelets and the necklaces and every jewel that Cardew thought he could buy you with. 

It all belonged to him. You would not be another prize on his shelf. 

You couldn’t help yourself. You began to shed the jewelry as your pace sped up, ripping bangles from your wrists and pendants from your neck—by the time you reached a deserted area of the gardens, you were considerably lighter and considerably close to tears. 

You let out a frustrated sob as you slammed your fists against some artistic stone structure. It earned you nothing but pain, but it grounded you in some strange way. You tore off your gloves and threw them to the ground, a shaky breath escaping you as you screwed your eyes shut and  pressed your palms to your forehead. 

You could not marry traditionally, you could not follow through with your feelings for Anthony, and now you could not follow through with this ill-advised plan. 

Were you truly this useless? To bring ruin to two families with your knack for destroying things for it all to amount to nothing? You waxed poetic about the life you thought you deserved to live, about going to university and gaining your independence and never marrying, and yet here you were, near tears in the gardens of the ball you were meant to reenter society at. 

“Miss Worthing.”

The whispered words blared through the silence, and you knew who it was without having to turn around. It still sent a shock through you, your breathing faltering for a moment. Your eyes stayed shut. 

“Why are you here?” you asked, your voice watery. 

“You do not know me if you think there is anywhere else I would be,” he said. 

“How did you find me?”

“I followed the trail of jewels. You’ve left an awfully expensive path in your wake.”

“All of it is worthless,” you mumbled, finally letting your hands drop. “It all belongs to Lord Cardew.”

“You’ll have made a magpie very happy.” 

“Enough with the jokes,” you said. “Why are you here?” 

“Why do you think?” Anthony asked with a slight laugh. 

“I do not know,” you responded. “That is why I asked.” 

“I am here because I want to talk to you,” he said. “You cannot just avoid me for the rest of the season.”

You turned away. “I can try.”

“I will not let you,” Anthony enunciated. “I will not let you make the biggest mistake of your life because you believe it is your duty.”

“If you are here to change my mind, you are wasting your time,” you said stiffly. 

“I don’t believe I have to do anything,” Anthony said. “It looks as if you’ve come to the conclusion yourself.” 

“And what makes you think that?”

“You have not even glanced in Cardew’s direction this entire night,” he said. “You’ve been looking at me instead.” 

“Because I have felt your eyes on me with every moment.” 

Anthony huffed. “Can you blame me? This is the first time I have seen you since that night.” 

“Then you should remember my words from that night,” you bit out. 

“Why are you so intent on pushing me away?” Anthony begged. 

You scoffed. “Why are you so intent on bothering me?”

“Because I cannot stand here and watch you marry another!” he exclaimed.

Your brows furrowed and you turned around. Anthony stood in front of you, his outfit impeccable but not at all looking put together. Desperation colored his eyes, and you saw how truly undone he’d become. 

“I— I thought I could, but I cannot.” He shook his head, a muscle working in his jaw as he glanced away. “Every moment you are in the vicinity of that man is a test of my strength. And I do not know how strong I am.” 

“I don’t understand,” you said hollowly. “You should hate me.” 

“I could never hate you,” Anthony murmured. “I thought I could, when you first told me of your plans, but— but I could hardly even dislike you.” A wistful smile tugged at his lips as he shook his head. “My mother had been bothering me for nearly a decade to find a wife and settle down, but I thought love was a fool’s game. I would have my fun as a bachelor, and then settle down with the most advantageous match. There was no need for further emotional baggage—when you love, you can lose. And I refused to lose again.” 

For a moment, your heart stopped in your chest. He lost his father, he nearly lost you, and then you pushed him away like he meant nothing. 

“Anthony—” you whispered, but he shook his head. 

“Please,” he said. “I have a lot to say.” 

You nodded, and he did as well. 

“Our deal was perfect for that. You were nothing but my sister’s nuisance of a friend—a bad influence that I could never see as more.” You could not help your soft laugh, and Anthony’s smile turned a bit more genuine. 

“But then we spent more time together. I… truly began to know you.” He shook his head with a chuckle. “You shattered every preconception I had of you. I began to look forward to our meetings, to our promenades—I would get home from calling on you and could think only of the next time I would see you.” 

“Throughout it all, you made me realize I was worthy of love,” he said. “You— you made me realize that I wanted it. That I wanted you.” His throat bobbed, and you could see his eyes glistening. “That I loved you.” 

You could hardly find the strength to speak. You felt as if you could melt into a puddle at his feet just from his words. You were so intent on avoiding Anthony because you couldn’t stand the thought of hurting him anymore— you believed he would be better off without you, without the scandal you’d dragged him into. 

But he… he loved you. 

He loved you just as you loved him. 

“I do not expect you to share any of my notions, and I know you value your freedom more than anything,” Anthony murmured. “So if it is not me you wish to be with, I understand, and I will accept it without complaint. I just beg of you—do not become that wretched man’s wife.” 

All you could do was stare at him for a moment more, words beyond your reach before you finally managed to speak through your emotions. 

“I tried to tell myself the exact same thing,” you said softly. “That you could not be happy with me. That I could never be happy chained to another—truly, that I could never love. Not when freedom is what I have always desired most. But Anthony…” you moved forward until you were mere centimeters apart, unable to suppress the shiver that ran through you at the proximity, “I have never felt more free than when I am with you.” 

“Miss—” Anthony started, but he paused and shook his head before saying your first name instead. His eyes were softer than anything. “Are you truly…?” 

“I could never fathom you sharing my feelings,” you said thickly. “That is why I pushed you away. But I love you, Anthony Bridgerton. And I think I have loved you for quite some time.” 

You swallowed the sudden lump in your throat, turning away so as to not betray the fullness of your emotions, and though you opened your mouth to provide some excuse, you were not granted the chance. 

Anthony’s hand encircled your wrist, pulling you back around, and just as soon did you feel his lips against yours. The tightness in your chest dissolved almost immediately as you all but fell into him, Anthony wrapping his arms around you to support you as your hands found purchase on anything they could. 

Your focus became devoted solely to the feeling of him, his soft lips against yours even as they plied for access. Anthony held you as if his only desire were to protect you from the world, and it made you feel a way you’d never even imagined. Only when air became a necessity did he pull away, his labored breaths in contrast to the pure adoration in his eyes. 

“Never in a thousand years did I think you would feel the same,” he murmured, his hands cupping your face on either side as he gazed into your eyes. “I thought myself a fool, falling for the one woman I could not have. You’ve no idea the relief it brings to hear you share my feelings.”

“I suppose I am just as foolish as you,” you breathed. Your heart felt as if it could burst. 

The corners of his lips quirked up in a smile. “I cannot imagine what my mother would think—that after so long spent searching for a wife, I fell for the one woman who never wanted the title.” 

You let out an airy laugh, relishing the feeling of his skin against yours. “Nor did I see myself falling for the one man who resented the chains of marriage as much as I.” 

Anthony pressed his lips against yours once more, and your hands traveled up until they tangled in his hair. You kissed until you were nearly breathless, but Anthony still managed to pull a very unladylike sound out of you as he bowed his head, kissing down the line of your jaw, your neck, until his teeth nipped your skin just above your decolletage.

“Anthony,” you gasped, clenching your fingers as they buried themselves further into his dark locks. You had never been this close with a man before, never this intimate — you never thought you would even desire it. 

But Anthony lit a fire inside of you that only he could quench, and yet the only thing he seemed to do was stoke it further. It was equally maddening and dizzying, the control he so effortlessly had over you. 

“I never knew how much I would delight in hearing you say my name,” he murmured, his lips trailing against your skin. “No more Lord Bridgerton, I beg of you.”

“I should think I’d like to hear you beg—” you breathed, but Anthony cut you off yet again as he pulled you into another searing kiss. You could hardly stand it anymore as your hands fell down to his shoulders, and you pulled away for just a moment as you began desperately undoing his waistcoat, Anthony taking the hint and removing his jacket. 

“These buttons were not designed with the needs of a lady in mind,” you huffed in frustration, fumbling fingers failing to make progress, and Anthony chuckled breathlessly.

“Have we finally found something I best you in?” he asked, and you rolled your eyes with a smile.

“Just take it off.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Is that all?”

You groaned as you looked at him. “If you insist on teasing me this way, Lord Bridgerton, I shall go back inside and act as if nothing has happened.”

“There is no need for idle threats,” he defended, and you bit back your smile. Anthony made deft work of his waistcoat, and the second he tossed it aside he was back on you. 

“Besides,” his voice was a whisper a millimeter from your ear, and warmth blazed in your core, “I believe I told you to call me Anthony.”

“And I believe you should have to try harder than that.” You smiled into his kiss as you trailed your nails down his back, the thin fabric of his dress shirt doing little as you felt his involuntary shiver. 

“You’ve no idea the effect you have on me,” he groaned, once again dipping his head as he peppered even more kisses down your neck, sliding down the sleeve of your dress to allow himself better access. 

The night air on your newly freed skin did little for you, any coolness of the breeze instantly negated by the heat of Anthony against you. Your nails dug into his back as he moved down, each spot where his lips touched your skin erupting with fire. 

You gasped out his name, barely able to handle it—the feeling was so foreign yet familiar, as if you had been waiting all your life for Anthony in this way. 

You could hardly believe you nearly lost it of your own accord. 

“It appears I do not have to try hard at all,” he said, “the way you cry out for me.” 

You laughed breathlessly, though his words were indeed true. You knew, in this moment, that you would do anything for Anthony Bridgerton—and he would do anything for you. “How I fell for a man as irritating as you, I haven’t the slightest.” 

You caught the slightest glimpse of his grin before he ducked his head yet again, and he had only just begun pushing both sleeves of your dress down when a woman’s voice could be heard behind you. 

“Anthony— oh!” 

The unfamiliar voice struck fear into your heart you had never felt the likes of before. Anthony moved away from you quicker than you’d ever seen, you just as hasty as you tugged the sleeves of your dress back to where they belonged and attempted to smooth out everything that Anthony had so easily sullied. 

You’d never imagined this was how your reputation would be ruined, with Anthony Bridgerton in the gardens of some ball, but when you finally had the sense to look and see who had caught you in a most uncompromising position, you could hardly stifle your incredulous laugh. 

“Sister?” Anthony questioned in disbelief, so many emotions warring on his face you had to turn away to cover up your growing grin. 

“Anthony,” Daphne greeted in kind, fighting to conceal her smile as her eyes drifted to you. “Miss Worthing.” 

“Your Grace!” Your shaky fingers were hardly of use to you as you pulled your gloves back up to where they belonged and once again ran your hands down the skirt of your dress to smooth out the wrinkles. Your cheeks burned under her gaze and you were innately aware of the fire underneath your skin brought about by Anthony’s touch in contrast to the cool night air. “What brings you here?” 

“Mother was quite… nervous about tonight,” she explained. “She indulged in one too many glasses of champagne, so she is taking her leave with Benedict for aid. She requested I find you to alert you of her departure, but it seems she was not the one whose disappearance should have been questioned.” 

“I’m sure you know this is quite compromising.” Thinly veiled amusement crossed Daphne’s face as she eyed you pointedly. “I am afraid you must marry him at once Miss Worthing, else I shall have to duel you to protect my brother’s honor.” 

You laughed breathlessly as Anthony looked up at the sky, his face turning a deeper shade of red than you had ever seen. “Your Grace, are you suggesting that I have ruined him?” 

“Indeed I am,” she confirmed, and you could see how it took every muscle of her being to retain a serious image. “This is not a light matter, miss. I do not understand why you are laughing.” 

“Daphne,” Anthony groaned, avoiding her eyes as he occupied himself with his jacket. “Why do you insist on being a nuisance?” 

“Anthony,” she inflected his name the same way he did hers, “I cannot have this woman sullying your name! I know it was of no will of your own, but this can not stand as is. But do not worry; I am prepared to defend your honor to my last breath.” 

“My sincerest apologies for what I have done, Duchess Hastings,” you responded gravely. “I am prepared for pistols at dawn.” 

Anthony huffed as he buttoned his waistcoat back up then went to retrieve his jacket from the bushes. “You exaggerate, the both of you. This cannot be what I was like last season.” 

“You were worse, brother. But do not worry,” Daphne said with a grin, “I should think a taste of your own practices is only fair after all you put Simon and me through.”

Anthony sighed with a slight roll of his eyes. “I… suppose… that it is what I deserve.” 

“Thank you, brother,” she said. “I only wish we had a witness just so your confession is forever remembered.”

“I wish Mother had not sent you to seek me out,” he responded dryly. 

You and Daphne exchanged smiles with each other before your expression sobered slightly. “ I ask quite a bit of you with this, Your Grace, but… may I count on your discretion? I know we jest, but my reputation truly could not handle something like this. I do not know if…” you glanced at Anthony before looking back to her, “if we are yet ready to seal our union.” 

“Of course,” Daphne nodded, and a relieved smile tugged at your lips. “I shall not tell a soul.” 

“Thank you eternally, Your Grace,” you expressed, but at your short curtsy she shook her head.

“Please, call me Daphne.” She offered a smile of her own, slightly coy. “After what I have just witnessed, I’ve no doubt you will be joining our family soon enough.” 

“Sister!” Anthony scolded, and when you glanced at him his entire face was dusted pink, even the tips of his ears. It was enough to make you swoon. “You cannot just say things whenever you see fit.” 

Daphne merely shrugged, joyfully indifferent to her brother’s protests. “I outrank you now, dearest brother — I believe I can say whatever I see fit, particularly when it is the truth.”

“You are truly impossible,” Anthony muttered as he shook his head. 

Daphne just smiled before she looked back at you. “I believe it best if the two of you leave at separate times, so as to not allow room for any rumors. Miss Worthing, you should go first and return to your mother; you can claim you simply needed fresh air. Anthony and I will stroll around the grounds for a bit before allowing ourselves to be seen — we are simply catching up after such a stretch spent at Clyvedon.”

You nodded, taking a deep breath as you smoothed your mussed hair and wrinkled dress for the last time. Anthony certainly did a number on you, in more ways than one. “Thank you again, Your—” you caught yourself, correcting your error with a small smile, “Daphne. 

“You may count on me in the future whenever I am in London,” she reassured. “It is my hope anyway that I shall be able to welcome you to the family officially.”

“Daphne!” Anthony exclaimed yet again, glaring at her. “Might you take your leave so we may have a moment alone?” 

“I believe you just had quite a few moments alone,” Daphne said, but a pointed look from her brother had her conceding with a smile. “Alright. I will be by the trees when you need me.” 

Anthony turned to you with an odd look in his eyes when Daphne was out of hearing distance, and when he did eventually speak, his voice was far softer than usual. 

“Do you truly believe I would not marry you?” he asked, and the underlying hurt in his voice did not go unnoticed. “Even if there were not the risk of a scandal, I would not hesitate. My entire heart lies with you.”

“It is not you, Anthony,” you sighed with a slight shake of your head. “I do not… I do not know if I am even capable of marriage.” 

He frowned. “What do you mean?” 

“I have spent my entire life running from it,” you said, chuckling softly, “and yet, here I am, the one thing I never thought I would be.”

“In love,” Anthony realized, and you nodded. 

“It has always been easy enough to denounce marriage when I’d never experienced anything of the like. The union of my parents was for convenience rather than love, and for as long as I’ve been alive my mother has tried to drill it into my head that my feelings did not matter — so long as the man had the means to provide for me and was not completely awful, he was satisfactory.”

“A future like that— it was so completely absurd to me that denouncing it all was the easiest thing in the world. And then I nearly died and my entire world changed, and I decided that Cardew was the best option to allow myself to completely separate emotion from marriage, but now…” you looked at Anthony, feeling more vulnerable now than ever. “I have found a love in you I’ve never thought possible, and I cannot stop imagining a life with you. And that terrifies me more than anything.” 

“But…” you trailed off again and you turned away from him as you wrapped your arms around yourself. “But I do not know how to approach my future, especially one where we are so closely intertwined.” 

Silence hung in the air for a noticeable period before Anthony cleared his throat, and it was obvious the care he put into his words. 

“You know I never imagined I would marry for love. Truly, I never intended it—I expected to be miserable in marriage. I saw it as nothing more than another duty to take care of. I believed that love was trivial, a ridiculous distraction. You are the one who made me see differently.” 

You turned around with slightly wide eyes, your arms wrapped around your midsection doing little to ward off the cool night air that seemed far colder than it was before. Anthony’s gaze never left yours, the softness in his own at odds with the pure, unbridled passion. 

“I love you. Though I have only just allowed myself to accept the fact, you are someone that I cannot imagine living the rest of my days without. There was…” his throat bobbed as his voice crackled slightly, “there was a moment when I feared the worst, that you would permanently disappear from my life. And ever since you were all but brought back from the dead, I have known that you are the only woman I wish to be with. It is why as soon as I left you, I asked my mother for this.” 

Anthony took a box out of his pocket, and you gasped as he got down on one knee, your hands flying up to cover your mouth. 

“This is the ring my father proposed to my mother with, and their love was beyond anything I have seen before. But it is the love that I feel for you, something so strong, so overwhelming— something I never thought I would experience. And yet here I am, madly in love with the one woman who scorned me with every word, and only pursued me because of my brand as a lesser evil.” 

A laugh bubbled out of you, the sound slightly muffled through your gloves, and you could not help it as your eyes began to fill with tears. 

“I admire you; all of you. The part that loves her family with every part of her being, that looks out for those with less than her when those more fortunate turn a blind eye. The part that fights for the rights of her sex when it is so much easier to just bow one’s head, that puts her happiness on a rightful pedestal— the part that is so terrified to share herself with others and yet deserves a love of the purest form.”

“And I am aware of how the unknown is a fear of yours, as it is one of mine. But I assure you—” Anthony’s voice was filled with such passion, his eyes with such love, that you could hardly stand it, “—I will be there for you every step of the way. We will face our fears as one, and we will shape the future ourselves, not to be bound by anyone or anything.” 

“I do not know where my future will lead me, but I know I do not want to face a single second of it without you. If you do not feel the same, I understand, but I will not be able to live with myself if I do not at least try. It is why I ask you,” Anthony said your name with more love than ever before, “will you marry me?”

“Yes,” you sobbed, a smile breaking across your face even as tears of joy streamed down your cheeks. “Yes, yes, I will marry you!”

Anthony let out a sigh of relief as he grinned, and after he slid the ring on your finger he stood up and pulled you into a breathless kiss. Nothing picture perfect like you’d heard about as a young girl, the kind of effortless gentleman’s act— Anthony kissed you with pure passion, love, desire, and it nearly brought you to your knees. You thought it would have, were it not for Anthony’s strong arms wrapped around your waist, pressing you against him and supporting you. 

You could hardly believe the same man who treated you as if you were glass after your injury was the one standing before you now, the one who handled you in such a way that could get the both of you exiled were anyone to see—the one that you thought hated you.  

And you were more than willing to allow it to continue, to surrender yourself fully to your baser instincts, when you remembered something that made your eyes widen.

“Your sister,” you murmured between kisses until you finally managed to pull away, albeit reluctantly. “Daphne is still waiting.”

Anthony laughed breathlessly as he pulled you back in, and your earlier protest was shown to be completely nonsensical. “Let her wait.” 

You grinned as he peppered kisses down your neck, enjoying the sensation until you pushed him away. “Anthony.” 

He groaned. “Why must you be a better person than I?”

“Believe when I say it pains me,” you said. “But the last thing we need is yet another scandal by my hand.” 

“Let them know,” he said, taking your hands in his. “Let all of London know that I love you, that we will be wed. I do not care what we have to face so long as we face it together.” 

“The thought has never been so tempting,” you murmured. “But you should at least alert your sister. It would be improper to make her wait out here all night for nothing.” 

His grip tightened on your hands. “So you do wish to leave together?” 

“Anthony, I just accepted your proposal,” you said with a laugh. “I wish to spend the rest of our lives together.” 

“I believe tonight is a good place to start, then,” he grinned. 

Anthony would not let you leave his side, so you went to Daphne together. First she saw your smile, then her gaze drifted down to your hand—she looked knowingly at her brother, though she could not hide her smile either. 

“It would appear as if I was right,” she mused. “I am always right when it comes to you though, Anthony, so it is not much of a surprise.” 

“Do not mock me,” Anthony said. “I could have left you waiting by the bushes all night.” 

“If you had not proposed to her after the conversation we had the other day, I would have questioned your sense,” Daphne said. “Trust me, I would not have been here long.” 

Your eyebrows rose. “What conversation?” 

“We do not need to start on this,” he said with a pointed look at his sister. “I have already bared my entire soul tonight. I do not need my sister embarrassing me further.” 

“Oh, I would never,” Daphne drawled. “After all, there will be plenty of time for us to gossip together when I come to visit you all.” 

“Won’t you be busy with your child?” Anthony asked. 

She shrugged. “You may be busy with one as well by the time I see you again.” 

You looked at Anthony only to find his gaze was already on you. There must have been some shred of doubt in your eyes, because he only took your hand in his. 

“I meant what I said,” he murmured. “We will take things as slowly as you desire.” 

You swallowed the sudden lump in your throat and nodded as you squeezed his hands—you knew what was expected of you as a wife, and you wanted it with Anthony, but you could not lie and say that his reassurances did not bring you relief. 

“My best wishes to the new Viscountess Bridgerton,” Daphne said, her voice full of affection as she clasped her hands together. “It is an honor to have you join our family.” 

“It is an honor to be accepted,” you said, bowing your head. 

Daphne smiled. “I assume you want to reveal this on your own terms.” 

You nodded. “I’ve dealt with enough attention from the ton lately.” 

“I am afraid to say that will not go away,” she said wryly. “But I will cover for the two of you.” 

You pressed a hand to your chest. “Thank you.” 

“It is only proper to welcome my sister in such a way,” she said with a wink, and you could not help but smile. “Now run along, you two. Before rumors start.” 

Anthony chuckled, and the two of them embraced before you started on your way.

“Viscountess Bridgerton,” Anthony murmured in your ear. “I love the sound of that.” 

You hummed in agreement. “As do I.” 

You laid your head on Anthony’s shoulder as you walked back with your hands intertwined—not to the ball, but to a carriage for the promise of time alone. You glanced over at Anthony and he smiled, and you pulled him to a stop as you pressed a kiss to his lips. He responded with hunger, the same vigor he displayed when you first stepped into the gardens together, and you could hardly believe he still had it left in him. 

Far too many minutes passed as you kissed and kissed and kissed, not a single care in the world of someone catching you. What could they do? You’d already endured enough scandal to weather anything, and there was no way to punish you and Anthony — you were already engaged. 

Your lips were sure to be bruised once you finally pulled away, Anthony gazing at you with complete adoration as he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“I cannot believe you are to be my wife,” he murmured. 

“I cannot believe you are to be my husband,” you breathed. “When will we reveal it?” 

“Tomorrow,” he said, intertwining your hands with his own. “Tomorrow, we will tell everyone, and we will deal with everything that comes along with it. But tonight…” 

“It is our secret.”

Anthony nodded. “Tonight, we start the rest of our lives together.” 

“The rest of our lives together,” you murmured. 

Truly, it sounded like a dream. Months ago you could not even consider the thought of marriage without an air of disgust—now, here with Anthony, you could not stop thinking about the fact that you were to be his wife. 

The rest of your life with Anthony would be anything but simple.

And yet, somehow, you could not think of anything more perfect.

-

taglist, only bc this series has been going on since i still had a taglist lmao. @ifilwtmfc @readers-post @fangirling-galore @funkydinosaurs @baby-i-am-fireproof @mess-is-my-aesthetic @likeballet @mdkfh @brezzybfan @magical-spit @lafy-taffy @miss-celestial-being @mercurysrhapsody @evilsailorsenshi @mainstreambitchlife @aangsupremacy @chloepluto1306 @lostaudfound @panhoeofmanyfandoms @blhemmings @my-acrylic-heart @seninjakitey @vlodi @arianagrandes-things @preciousbabypeter @youraliendaddo @stupidlittlebei @illuminwtesz @eringaitskill @otheliesstuff @users09 @chloepluto1306 @lady-loki-barnes-djarin @m-rae23 @the-horror-and-the-wild-simp @diemdurantia @theyoungestchild0w0 @mschievousx @alwaysreading1019 @ibelieveindragons141 @pretzywetzy

#anthony bridgerton x reader #anthony bridgerton x you #anthony bridgerton fic #bridgerton x reader #bridgerton fic #anthony bridgerton fanfic #x reader #bridgerton imagine #sadie writes

[what-even-is-thiss]

Hi roman. I know this is very weird, but i've seen you give some life advice to other people, so i thought i could give it a try too. Don't answer if you don't want to. Anyway

Do you have any advice/tips for a 15 y/o who thinks they just have no control over their life? Like, my concentration is dog shit, i think my grades are slipping. My executive dysfunction so bad and i think i'm disappointing a lot of people. I have no idea how to handle anything in my life. I can't force myself to do the things i need to (not that that'd be any good, i'll immediately cry lol). I just, don't fucking know how i could make things better for myself. And i can't really talk to adults about it, they'll repeat the stuff i already know, and i am the worst person to put their feelings into words, so they'll prob never understand. Not in the edgy way.

Yeah so sorry for half venting into your ask box. Thank you in advance if you'll answer it, if it's too weird and you don't want to do that for whatever reason, that's ok. Peace and love <3

Dude, you’re unfortunately suffering from being 15. And possibly a learning disorder. Godspeed to you.

And I don’t say that to belittle your problems. In many ways as a teenager you don’t have control over a lot of things. You’re still under the control of your parents, you’re still learning how to deal with adult level emotions and ideas. A lot is expected of you and a lot of things are made to seem more important than they are. It’s hard to tell what’s actually important and what’s just adults blowing things out of proportion. It sucks and it’s frustrating!

If you can, you might want to talk to a counselor. If your parents or guardians are anti-counseling you might try to talk to someone at your school like a teacher or administrator or school nurse about the possibility of getting counseling without your parents knowing. Some schools have programs like that.

The adults closest to you might not understand but if you keep looking you’ll eventually find someone who remembers what it’s like to be in your shoes.

And I remember fully feeling like I’d never get control over anything. The end goal of life was graduation from high school and god only knows if I keep existing after that. But the thing is, you do! You keep existing and you figure a lot of stuff out. Wisdom does come with time, it turns out. And legally and practically you end up getting a lot more autonomy as time goes on.

And I know hearing things like this might not feel comforting. When you’re stuck, you’re stuck and no matter how much you logically know it’ll get better right now it sucks.

Just find ways to keep going. And try asking for help sometimes. If your family won’t listen, find someone who will. Take the time to write down your problems and how you feel if you can’t come up with explanations of what’s going on. Or find a friend to talk it out with so you can practice explaining yourself.

If there’s one thing I can promise you, when you’re a couple years into adulthood all of the problems from your teenage years start to feel small. At the time they were big and important though. And that’s what you’re going through right now. And a lot of adults forget about that. Hang in there, and when all of this is behind you, remember how hard it was and maybe someday you can help someone like you.

I’m sorry if all that wasn’t helpful. I don’t know too much about your individual situation. But ask for help when you can. Someone out there understands. You’ll find them.

[moonstruckme]

Hi!!! I really really love how you write Lily! Could you please write something where Lily is comforting the reader who’s going through a friendship breakup and is taking it really hard?

Thanks lovely! <3

Lily Evans x fem!reader ♡ 864 words

You can tell your moping is starting to make your girlfriend nervous. She keeps bringing you things as she bakes, first the beaters to lick clean, then a spoonful of dough, and now cookies in droves, two or three at a time as different rounds come out of the oven and delivered with brief, cajoling kisses. She’s trying to infuse you with a better mood by all manner of sweet things. 

“I’m okay,” you promise as she comes back in, your plate reloaded. “I really am full this time, baby.” 

Lily hums discontentedly but sets the cookies down. “And when you say you’re okay,” she says, perching on the armrest beside where you’re sitting on the couch, “do you mean you’re okay without more food, or…” 

“In general,” you reassure her. “I’m alright, really. I can feel you worrying.” 

Her fingers skim down your hair, slotting a piece behind your ear. “Well, I don’t mean to make you feel my worry,” she says, “but I don’t mind worrying. And this would be a…a very understandable thing to be not okay about.” 

You can’t quite look at her. “Yeah.” You shrug, trying to sound lighter than you feel. “I just figure there’s not much point in being all sad about something I can’t fix. Best to move on, you know?” 

“I do know a thing or two about losing someone you’re close to,” Lily agrees. 

And she does, you remember. Her sister. You look up, shameful, but she only smiles gently. 

“Moving on does help, definitely, but you can’t really just skip over the feelings, either. It’s…” Her expression goes sheepish. “Well, it sounds sort of awful to say, but it’s almost like they’ve died, isn’t it? At least, the relationship you had did.” 

“Yeah,” you sigh, relieved. You’d felt wrong for thinking it, but you’ve been feeling the same. The awkward, unidentifiable tension you’ve been carrying around starts to uncoil. “It’s really weird, not talking to them.” 

“I know, sweetheart.” She takes your hand, rubbing her thumb over yours softly. Her eyes are heavy with understanding. “It’ll probably always be weird, if I’m honest. But it won’t always hurt so terribly. You know this is the right thing for both of you.” 

“I know,” you say, shallowing your breaths in an attempt to suppress the tears stinging in your eyes. Lily strokes a short line into the back of your hand. You can feel the weight of her gaze on you, but you keep your stare determinedly downward, blinking forcefully. “Sorry,” you choke out. “I don’t mean to be such a drag.” 

“Baby,” Lily laughs, wrapping one arm around your shoulders and the other around your head as she pulls you into her chest. And she’s all softness; soft flesh giving way to your shoulder, and a soft hand cradling your face, the soft silk of her hair tickling your nose as it falls around your face like a curtain. 

“You’re not a drag,” she promises, “you’re just sad. It’s okay to be sad, my love. Don’t stopper yourself up on my account, okay? Please.” 

You don’t cry for long, possibly because there’s not much left to cry for. You’re both right; what’s done is done, and it’ll hurt even if that hurt is pointless. You’ve lost someone who other people still get to have, or maybe you’ve lost the love more than the person, and maybe that’s worse. You can’t fix it, don’t want to, so this is all that’s left to do. Miss it. 

“My sweet girl,” Lily murmurs into your hair, “I’m sorry. You’ll be alright, I promise.” 

“I know,” you say croakily. You reach up to wipe your eyes, but she beats you to it, thumb stroking underneath your lashes with enough care to nearly have you bursting into tears all over again. “Sorry.” 

“Don’t be, you haven’t done anything wrong.” She sounds almost pleading. “You’re allowed to be upset, okay? Really, I’ve been counting on it all day. I’m just glad you didn’t go to bed without letting yourself have a cry. I was starting to really worry.” 

“Is that what the cookies have been about?” you tease, feeling lighter as tears cool on your cheeks. Your voice comes out easier. 

Lily hums. “Perhaps.” 

“Wait, really?” You pull away from her chest so you can see her. “You were trying to feed me until I felt better?” 

“Well, would there be anything wrong with that?” 

“No,” you laugh, “but I feel like it’d have been a lot less effort just to cuddle.” 

Lily beams, then looks guilty for it, tapering her smile down into something more sheepish. “I could still do that,” she says, slipping off the armrest and into your lap. You bite down on your own smile as she smears a kiss over your cheek. “I’ve got more cookies coming out in a few minutes, but aside from that brief interruption I’m all yours.” 

“More cookies?” you ask, leaning back to peer into the kitchen at the overflowing cooling racks. “How many are there going to be?” 

“You seemed very sad,” she reasons, stroking a piece of hair near your face. “It’s possible I may have overcompensated.”

#lily evans #lily evans x reader #lily evans x fem!reader #lily evans x y/n #lily evans x you #lily evans x self insert #lily evans fanfiction #lily evans fanfic #lily evans fic #lily evans fluff #lily evans hurt/comfort #lily evans imagine #lily evans scenario #lily evans drabble #lily evans blurb #lily evans one shot #lily evans oneshot #marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders fandom #hp marauders #marauders era #marauders girls #marauders valkyries #marauders girls x reader #marauders valkyries x reader

[starrypawz]

AO3 What can I say I had an idea

On the shore of The Dreaming he senses something that ebbs and flows with the tide.

Whatever that something is very…

Small

Tired

With a broken heart… 

But the heart still beats strong. 

Curious. 

Gently he reaches out and

A crow? Most curious.

The crow, more than a little bedraggled, tilts their head as they stand.

“Caw?” (weakly) 

“Easy now,” 

Caw…. Caw?... Caw!  (Slightly panicked)

“No you are not, much longer though and you likely would have met my sister,”

Caw!! (Profanity) 

Caw (Apologetic) 

“That’s an… understandable reaction… although I will say she is actually… very nice.” 

Caw? 

“I am known by many names but… Often I am known as Dream,” 

“Caw!” (Introductory) Dream gives a faint smile, “I am aware,it is a  pleasure to meet you Monty the Crow” 

He regards the Crow who has just informed him that he is known as Monty (although he knew that already)  some more and then asks.

“What was your aim?” 

“Caw,” “London?” 

“Caw,” and then “Caw?”

“Unfortunately you didn’t get very far,” 

“Caw,” (Dejected) 

“Agreed, that was a rather foolish idea,” Dream tilts his head, “I must ask why did you undertake this fool’s errand?” 

“Caw?”

“I… can only sense fragments, you are rather weak right now,” 

“Caw,” (Panicked)

“Do not worry, you are safe here,” “Caw,” (Grateful) 

Dream pauses.

“So Monty the Crow what was the goal of your fool’s errand?”

“Caw?” 

“I only sensed fragments, you are… rather weak right now,”

“Caw,”

“You are safe here,”

“Caw,” (Grateful) 

Monty pauses and the way his feathers ruffle translates as a sigh before he takes a couple of hops that translate somehow as ‘pacing around whilst trying to get your thoughts together’

“Caw…” Another hop, “Caw… Caw…. Caw,”  Another hop, “Caw” (Dejected) 

“That… that is a rather noble cause,” Dream reaches out and then pauses, “May I?”

Monty nods. 

Dream lightly scratches him on the head, feather soft under his fingers and Dream feels a soft rush of affection run through him as Monty leans into his touch and ruffles his feathers and gives the faintest hint of a smile. 

“I… I sense you have not been treated kindly,” He offers his hand and Monty struggles to hop up. 

“Let me,” He soothes as he carefully guides him into his hand and lifts Monty closer to his face.

“I am sorry that has happened to you,” Dream stiffens, “Who… Who did this?” 

“Caw,” “A witch?” He pauses and… feels, “One named Esther Finch, I know of her and… I can sense she has met her long overdue fate,”

“Caw,”

“Maybe that offers you some comfort?” Monty moves his wings in a way that somehow reads as a shrug.

“I… I know what it is like, to be trapped,” Dream sighs, “Taken by someone who seeks power they do not deserve.. Let alone understand.” 

Monty tilts his head again.

“Tell me Monty, Tell me your story,”

“Caw-” 

“I am fond of long tales…” Dream smiles, “And we have all the time in the world whilst you are here,”

Monty ruffles his feathers and then 

“Caw-” 

And then after some time. 

“That is… quite the tale.” 

“Caw?” 

“Yes… now what,” Dream sighs, “I think I can aid you?”

“Caw?”

“Do not worry, I would not pull you into such a bargain, I would also not expect you to serve a new master so soon after gaining your freedom,” 

“Caw?”

“So…The Witch Esther Finch turned you into a human, tell me Monty do you wish to be back in that form?”

“Caw… Caw…” He pauses, “Caw?”

“I see… Understandable you do not want to be bound to one form… even if you found thumbs incredibly useful,” He gives an amused snort and gently scratches Monty on the head, “I believe… I believe I know someone who can aid you,” 

“Caw?”

“No he is not a witch… although I guess he is bewitching in his own way,” “Caw!” (Teasing) Dream swallows, “I am… incredibly fond of him.” Dream pauses, “You… you remind me of him, he is… an incredibly kind soul, eternally joyful,” He smiles, “Even if he is a little foolish at times, His name is Robert Gadling although he prefers to go by Hob, ” Dream pauses, “So Monty The Crow if you agree, once you awake you will find yourself in London,” 

“Very well them,” Dream pulls him against his chest, “Now rest,” 

Monty rests.

Hob awakes to early morning light through the window and realises he forgot to shut the curtains again as he winces  whilst in the background he can hear the ever present drone of the traffic of 21st century London. He finds his laptop in the bed and connects dots he was planning to grade just a couple of more papers last night, but judging from the Turnitin page that greets him when he wakes up the laptop that he’d fallen asleep about a quarter into grading the first one.

Later… later. Deal with that later.  At least two cups of coffee later. 

He’s just about to pass through to the kitchen when he notices something at the living room window.

Matthew? 

No that’s not Matthew.

Wait… that’s not a raven anyway, the beak’s the wrong shape and they’re too small that’s a… 

Crow. 

Oh. 

There hadn’t been A Visit last night (It’s actually been a while but not quite long enough that Hob is worried) but Hob had in that point where reality is a little… loose between waking and sleeping had heard a whisper. It’d been somewhat cryptic (He didn’t expect anything less) but the pieces start to slot together. 

Hob shakes his head with an affectionate snort as he lifts the sash window. It’s thankfully a warm morning. 

The crow tilts their head at him. 

“Well… come on in?” 

Hob takes a step back and watches as the crow hops through the opened window, carefully he shuts it behind them. 

There’s a pause for a moment before they hop from the windowsill and then

Falll  to the ground. 

Hob is caught off guard for a second before there’s a ruffle of feathers and then. 

Ah

So that’s why there’d been something about ‘spare clothes’ that’d sounded rather out of place coming from Dream. 

Hob now looks at the dark haired teenager who had been a crow moments ago who sits on the sofa. The borrowed t-shirt and shorts hang loose on him in a way that looks more ‘Handmedowns from an older sibling’ than ‘fashionably baggy’ 

The teenager looks up at him through curtain bangs with dark eyes that are bright and… oddly captivating.

Just like someone else I know. 

“So… Monty, right?”

Monty nods. 

“Dream?” They say, voice still croaky, “Sent me to you… somehow? Said you could help me?” 

“Hopefully?” Hob clears his throat, “So… are you hungry?”

“I’m starving,” 

Breakfast. Right. That’s at least a problem he can fix. 

“Ok,” Hob smiles, and hopes it looks less nervous than he feels. “I’ll go make us something and you can tell me all about… whatever’s going on,”

“Sounds great!,” Monty’s voice is bright, almost a little too bright for this time in the morning and gives him probably the softest smile he’s ever seen before Hob turns into the kitchen. 

What the hell have you gotten me into this time?

#starry writes stuff #the sandman #dream of the endless #hob gadling #dead boy detectives #monty the crow #monty dead boy detectives #dbd monty #dreamling

[daydreamerwonderkid]

Your opinions on superman?

Sorry for taking forever to respond. I was trying to find a way to properly explain how I feel XD

I am absolutely in love with Clark Kent. There is something so amazing about how the core of Clark's character is that he genuinely wants to do good because he simply believes it's the right thing to do.

I give a lot of credit to Ma and Pa Kent, obviously, for instilling that in him at a young age. But I also believe that Clark was always naturally inclined to be a kind person. He displays an impressive level of emotional intelligence and empathy for nearly everyone he meets. He's not perfect, but he makes an effort to understand other's motivations and actions.

I also appreciate how much he adores and respects Lois. Clark can never run out of things to say about her. I find it refreshing that a main stay of his relationship with Lois is that he admires and acknowledges her skill as a journalist/reporter. He never tries to undermine her or discredit her. In fact, one of the main reasons he's attracted to her is her dedication to her career. That and her bravery in the face of any danger she encounters. Even when she really should have bowed out forever ago XD

I also think it's very telling that of all the members of the Justice League, Bruce's best friend (other than Diana) is Clark. To me, that right there shows even further what a fantastic person Clark is. Because despite being someone as notoriously private and often irrationally paranoid as Bruce is, he is still able to let his guard down around Clark. I find it heartwarming and sometimes even hilarious that Clark is able to get away with giving Bruce absolute shit and Bruce is, more often than not, willing to tolerate Clark's teasing or even his serious reprimands. They both value the other's opinion and trust each other with their lives.

What I think more recent adaptations of Superman have forgotten, is that Clark never has had an interest in being a god or in using his abilities to establish himself as something superior to mankind. It's the opposite. Clark has such a high degree of self control over his own powers because of just how perfectly aware he is of how easily he could hurt someone if he wanted to.

But Clark doesn't have a desire for power. He genuinely wants to help people because he has the ability to do so.

Tldr; The reason Superman is so great is because Clark is a great person.

#dreamer ask #anon ask #superman #clark kent #i feel like i rambled on for forever #i could honestly say a LOT more #about why i love clark so much #but i tried to keep it to a small summary #hope that answers your question :D

[polyamzeal]

My first polyamorous relationship recently came to an end and I'm still reeling from it, I guess I'm wondering if you have any sage wisdom to throw into this whirlwind ?

I started seeing this guy while he was on and off with his life partner of four years, until they broke up for the 'sixth and final time'. We had a talk at this point and clarified that neither of us were looking to fill that primary partner gap for the time being and I was aware he would be healing for a time, but we both stated that we were invested in our relationship, saw it as something good and healthy, and that we wanted to put work in to continue making it as good as possible. Things were really great for almost a month after that and his ex well and truly seemed out of the picture to the both of us.

Then suddenly one day his ex decided she wanted to get back together monogamously (after four years of polyamory) and he immediately informed me that was just - happening.

Our relationship only lasted four months and he loves her and thinks this is the only way to still be able to spend his life with her, and has belief in this choice because she broke off a two year relationship for this, but I feel like this is really terrible. He seemed committed to polyamory as long as I've known him and never mentioned any hopes otherwise, and the decision was made really suddenly. I got incredibly upset with him and cut him out of my life and now I'm in the stage of trying to puzzle over how much of this situation is morally bad on his part and how much is just really unfortunate circumstance? I don't really know how to react to this, just heartbroken and confused! Any words are helpful 😅

First off, that really sucks! I am really sorry you went through that and I hope you have been healing well.

When I first became polyamorous I had this very naive idea in the back of my head that all my future relationships would last forever. I would just keeping adding more partners since nobody had a reason to breakup if cheating and other people wasn't going to break up relationships. Obviously that was foolish! But after those first few polyam breakups I really appreciated the new perspective on breakups I had formed over time. In monogamy, a breakup is almost always seen as a "failure" because the goal was to spend forever together monogamously. For me at least with polyamory it felt easier to see a relationship as "Good for the time when it needed to be and over when it was no longer needed." I became much better at being grateful for the good memories and everything I learned about myself from that relationship without only focusing on the bad of why it didn't work out.

Change is hard. It always is for everyone. But I do feel like with polyamory we are a little more accepting to people and relationships naturally changing over time. That we go through 'eras' in our life and so little in life is actually eternal. I hope you take the good parts of that relationship with you into future relationships and now you are better prepared to handle similar bad aspects of the relationship. I wish you good luck.

#polyamzeal answers #anon ask #breakups

[fictionfixations]

Book 7 JP spoilers (recent-est i think)

(recently found out how to do keep reading bits.)

i. have been told what happened

you know this groovy with him crying

i know context now

and

oh my god

my. heart. ughUISHfdi rOOOOK.

(m gonna be honest rook was never my favorite and i honestly didnt know how to feel about him. [to be fair i hated sebek at one point but now im like a huge sebek fan so.] but i think when this gets onto EN and i play through it im just gonna be a huge rook fan man.)

like

okay

so i know what happens in the story

(also i love this so much this is now in my mind, rook's actual room pre-nrc [except vil's not in an RSA uniform LMFAO. actually if it was PRE-NRC i dont think either of them would have enrolled at a school yet, unless neige is older than vil, or unless RSA doesnt do the same enrollment ages or whatever like NRC)

ACTUALLY SCRATCH THAT NEIGE IS IN HIS 2ND YEAR???

??????? people notice so much oh my god..

wait....

actually do you think neige joined a school because he saw vil join one?? cause. i think he really idolizes vil. (actually kind of makes me think of cheka idolizing leona)

huh. random thought.

i mean i only know a summary of it (im fine with spoilers ngl and i dont care even if you shove like a fully translated post of the entire chapters and stuff.. i just like seeing story that i dont mind rereading)

but like man. its gonna break me when we're there for that moment. (in EN)

i

dont want to say anything in case there's an EN person here. and i mean if they're spoiling themselves all the more power to them but i also feel like its one of those things that are a LOT more impactful when you encounter it for the first time so im just. not gonna try to learn more about it and wait. (although its like. JP is in Part 8 i think, we're in Part 4??? that seems so far away sob. but also we gotta finish lilia's dream first so...)

im just. sadge. (also idk what vil's dream is but i think we end up seeing it. unless it was actually a render of him from rook's dream, which i wouldnt think is too far off. but also--)

THIS IS APPARENTLY CANON?

I SAW IT AND I THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE BUT THEN I RAN INTO IT AGAIN??? and its like. LISTEN. he looks so goofy i cant... epel. i love you. but oh my god (i cant take you seriously im SORRY im DEAD)

also he's still in pomefiore which is cool (he accepted his cuteness! although i dont know how much of a weapon his cuteness would have now..?. you think he snaps out of it cause ppl might laugh at him [and then he beats them up] but he still gets irritated cause what the heck im not cute anymore--- [..wait. i was never cute. what am i on about.] ...i keep overusing the word cute and i know he wouldnt use it himself but i have a very small vocabulary.)

im just.

i dont know how to feel about this ??? (it feels more cursed than hatless rook. i can at least pretend he isnt hatless. but like. epel..)

also vil in rsa /neg /hj (the rsa uniform looks so bland and i like him in darker colors)

okay im gonna be honest i have a dislike against RSA. and thats honestly because im petty and hold grudges.

also i like my villain boys and i just want them to win (..yknow. i really dont think GloMas counts when the RSA boys were actually nice enough to like. ..take hits for them??? and then we were planning on leaving them like LMFAO 'not my problem')

so yeah.

actually wait if rooks dream takes place in VDC how the fuck

WHO IS NRC TRIBE????

CAUSE VIL'S IN RSA WITH NEIGE?? HELLO??? WHAT.

WE'RE NOT WINNING WHAT THE HELL

(unless our role in the dream is to drop a jawdropping performance [idfk do we have diasomnia boys minus lilia(? i honestly dont know how lilia's dream ends and if he joins us) and malleus???)

but listen. if vils the best. and neige is the best.

we're so. not winning..? (i was going to ask if it was gonna be like rook this time voting for NRC and thats how we win. but like. HELL no are we gonna have it be split 50/50 again like that)

anyway i am still very excited and so pumped and oh my god fhsuihe

i find it so funny that at the start of the post i was so crushed like 'oh my god...' cause angst and then here i am doing a complete 180

EDIT: hold on. i didnt think to think about it but now that we know what his room looks like

thats his bed. you can see the neige part. and that thing he's holding onto is like the movie poster (or i assume its a movie poster) with vil and neige

ngl i saw some people linking it up to like the hunter crying on snow white's dress

which. i never saw this movie so like (i dont even want to know what happened but also these movies are OLD. also in like sleeping beauty?? i saw the animated of once upon a dream or something like that and mans just comes up to her out of nowhere. no warning and holds her and sings and im just like brUH if you did that id fucking hit you like WHAT???)

also i just noticed his muscles goddamn.

#thoughts #twst jp spoilers #twst jp #twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twst book 7 #twst book 7 spoilers #pomefiore #rook hunt #vil schoenheit #epel felmier

[kafus]

a likodot themed analysis of HZ049

hello it's been a while since my last truly longform post like this but guess who watched HZ049 today and is going absolutely fucking feral bonkers about it. it's me. and i have things to say about it of the likodot variety because if i don't get these thoughts out of my head i'll explode.

forgive me for my shipping bias because i'm not sorry. however i am slightly sorry for how messy this post ended up being my god i had a lot of thoughts but i did my best to make this at least somewhat entertaining to read and comprehensive. but it really is a long winding mess LOL. FULL OF PASSION AND ADORATION I LOVE THIS SHOW AND I LOVE LIKO AND DOT MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THIS WORLD

obviously there are heavy spoilers below the cut i'm going to be violently pulling apart all the scenes where these two interact and gnawing at all of it

so. first off. this episode displays massive growth in liko and dot's relationship by method of showing how much liko's behavior around gurumin has changed since these two met and since dot initially confessed to being gurumin. as we all know liko was a massive superfan of gurumin, and then when dot confessed to being gurumin... well liko's reaction was. Uh

well she was having a little bit of a crisis about it LOL. historically liko has gotten very flustered and panicked when reminded that dot is gurumin. and she has been really prone to fangirling still (ie. getting really excited about helping gurumin in HZ019 with the bakery stuff or helping gurumin with the pig town stuff in HZ036), despite knowing the person in the suit. she goes as far as to try to ignore that dot is in the suit entirely and keep them separate in her brain (shown for instance by her freaking out over seeing dot halfway in the gurumin suit in HZ039) because if she were to mentally cross those wires, she wouldn't be able to handle it.

but now in this episode, things have obviously changed a lot over time. the episode opens with a small scene that explains what dot is doing about gurumin while they are traveling on the terastal course (filming them beforehand and scheduling ahead of time lol) but liko and dot have a conversation about (a really CUTE conversation) about gurumin in the process.

do not get it twisted, liko is still very much a fan of gurumin, but this conversation is a lot more comfortable and grounded. she gets a notification about a new gurumin video and she's excited (and surprised because of the timing), but she is not panicking about it. and her first reaction to this information is to directly ask dot (with the softest expression fucking ever??) about it. this directly connects dot and gurumin together in a strong way. liko is no longer running from the fact that dot is the youtuber she looks up to, and in fact she's being pretty upfront about it.

not related to my main point, but i also just want to gush a little here about this scene more - dot reacts similarly to liko showing so much affection for her work in a similar way to how she reacted in HZ008 to liko complimenting her through the door - getting flustered about liko's genuine energy, but this time they know each other and are looking at each other face to face. liko's affectionate energy is enough to make her relent that maybe someday... she could film outside... which shows the sort of effect liko has on her. and also this becomes relevant later in the episode where dot literally does film gurumin videos outside - it's just good writing/foreshadowing lol

anyway, this continues later on when liko is the first to get worried about dot doing the battle livestream with nanjamo as gurumin instead of herself. i think if this situation had happened much earlier on, liko would have been thinking a lot more about the excitement of the idea of seeing gurumin battle in real life, but she doesn't even initially have that thought and have to backtrack, she's immediately worried about dot instead.

ironically, liko recognizing that gurumin isn't dot, as in gurumin is a mask that dot puts on instead of being representational of her true self, drives home liko's recognition of dot as gurumin even more. she understands the connection between dot and gurumin and what gurumin is to dot enough to have this concern in the first place - one roy initially doesn't understand, that is specific to liko. there is zero compartmentalization of dot being a youtuber here! liko is concerned about her friend who is an influencer, where she puts on a mask to be confident and outgoing. dot and gurumin are fully connected.

it's also worth acknowledging that liko holds the gurumin suit and is concerned about it being damaged but nothing more - unlike in HZ021 when she goes to dot's room to give her the suit after it's been washed and cleaned, and she's a little nervous and flustered about it still.

i've always talked about how there's a bit of a difference between shipping liko and dot, and liko and gurumin - not that those two sectors have zero overlap, but that to liko, gurumin and dot were usually kept so separate mentally that fans online could often be sorted into camps of being interested in the running silliness of liko's fascination and flustered behavior with the whole gurumin thing, and liko and dot's connection with each other as normal (girl)friends... liko has progressively adjusted more to dot being gurumin and has had moments where she is able to set aside her fangirl heart to be there for dot (like when she mentions dot being gurumin in her little supportive speech in HZ027), but this episode shows that in a much more drastic and meaningful way, and now those two sectors are FULLY overlapping canonically. i think it is overall a sweet and good thing for them that liko is able to see dot as a whole and directly appreciate her creative skills/work. it is obviously meaningful to dot!

TLDR;

HZ039:

HZ049:

you get the point.

NOW. onto the SECOND thing i want to talk about. the thing i've dubbed LIKODOT TELEPATHY. aka holy shit these girls understand each other without words. liko and dot understand each other on an intrinsic level and often notice when the other is worried, or pushing themselves too hard, or etc. that is EXTREMELY evident in this episode through liko's concern towards dot.

going back to the first scene before the opening theme, liko detects immediately when dot comments on roy's upbeat attitude that dot might be feeling nervous about her upcoming battle, and immediately offers reassurance.

(unfortunately i have to put aside my ramble about liko's continued lack of self esteem and her putting herself down here for another time because otherwise this post will get so off-topic and longer than it has any right to be, but you get the point. also holy shit dot saying "you don't have to fuss so much" but smiling and saying that line like she's happy to have liko fretting about her makes me CRAZY. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. BUT. coughs. ANYWAY)

then, like i mentioned earlier, liko is the first to be worried about dot in this episode. she's the first to notice dot's anxious/shutting down behavior:

the first to recognize that dot might actually walk away unhappy if she were to do her terastal exam as gurumin instead of herself:

and the first to recognize that her filming videos outside is not as genuinely upbeat and happy as it may seem:

(two quick side notes about this, i really like how the writing puts emphasis on liko's concern by contrasting roy's total lack of it multiple times - NOT that he doesn't care of course, but just that liko understands dot particularly well and is in touch with dot's feelings in a special way that roy isn't. additionally, it makes me feel crazy that dot probably got the idea to film outside from liko's affectionate encouragement in the first scene in the episode... like, she's basically trying to use liko's advice to hype herself up and get through this... of course she would!! trusting liko's words has always ended up positively for her!! liko is such a massive support for her!! and liko acknowledges herself that yeah she said that but that isn't what she meant. GOD. i'm so insane about these girls)

this is notable not only because it's very sweet that liko is so concerned about dot, but also because dot doesn't really understand this herself. she is trying so hard to put on the gurumin facade, to run away from her anxiety as far as possible, to avoid the bad. and yet despite her attempts to cover her true feelings up as much as possible, even from herself, liko sees straight through it. dot cannot mask around liko, she understands regardless, sees the parts of her she doesn't want to acknowledge.

the contrast between dot's understanding of herself and liko's understanding of her is immense. directly after dot boldly proclaims that she feels so much stronger as gurumin and happily mentions that she has nanjamo's permission to do their battle as gurumin is when liko finally confronts her. the difference in mood is startling, almost, and easily shows that contrast. i need to break down this confrontation in detail cause it makes me insane

first, liko is still too nervous to say what she wants to say, but as per usual with LIKODOT TELEPATHY (tm) dot immediately notices liko going into her polite i-don't-want-to-inconvenience-you voice and pushes for what the matter is. she can tell immediately that liko has a problem even though liko hasn't said anything yet.

liko doesn't want to rock the boat and is overly gentle with her words (once again i have to push aside my ramble about liko's confidence problems AGH) but finally speaks her piece about the situation.

i want to mention here as well, these two situations are very different, but the similarities of dot noticing liko pushing herself back in HZ027 and then liko recognizing dot pushing herself in kind... SIIIGH

dot's reaction is to stammer with MUCH less confidence than before that she wasn't forcing anything. she's taken offguard by liko's concerns, but it's evident she recognizes what liko is saying within herself and is grappling with trying to maintain her mental wall after liko has cracked it in half with her words. liko was right and saw right through her, and dot isn't sure how to handle it. she avoids eye contact and everything.

this is where i bridge my conversation about likodot telepathy into talking about dot's characterization and growth as a character, so bear with me - quaxly attempts to drive the point liko is making home by separating dot from the gurumin suit, but afterwards is... The Scene. liko tries to bring the conversation back to what they were saying before, but at this point dot is overwhelmed by quaxly's actions and feels socially/emotionally cornered and... she explodes and screams at liko.

i think it's an interesting part of her personality that she is prone to irritable/angry outbursts and yelling when she has her buttons pushed too far and i'm glad that remains consistent for her, especially because...

the last time dot yelled directly at liko like this was in HZ008. the situation is actually quite similar with dot being pushed too far into a situation she doesn't know how to handle by liko reaching out to her more than she is ready for, causing her to lash out. but some MAJOR things have changed since then - obviously, the first time was through the door before they really knew each other, before liko had even seen her face, but this time it's up close and personal and they know each other. but secondly, at the beginning of the show, dot is irritated and overwhelmed by pretty much any attempt at conversation. she has come such a long way that now she's brought to screaming by something much, much more massive, with the whole being streamed live while battling in real life thing, showing how much she has overcome since then... and not only that!! thirdly! the first time, liko was encouraging gurumin, sharing how much of a fan of gurumin she was, and now this second time, it's in reaction to liko essentially telling her "i don't think you actually want to be gurumin in this situation". point is, the amount of growth dot has had is ironically so easy to see in her screaming at liko here because of the sheer level of contrast between the two times it's happened.

by this happening again, it also gives dot the chance to recognize her own shitty behavior and apologize for yelling later even though liko (nor roy) were asking for an apology - in fact they seemed to be surprised that dot wanted to apologize in the first place, like they had forgotten all about it. i think both liko and roy are used to shrugging off some of dot's more irritable behaviors, but this time dot noticed herself that she messed up and takes that moment to say sorry, which is sweet of her and once again a moment of character growth.

considering that dot also follows this up with the statement that she will take her terastal exam as herself, the apology is also connected to it - like she recognized that what liko was saying, the thing that made her yell, ended up being true. it was liko's genuine attempt to help her. and now that she's come to that conclusion on her own, she can see that yelling was even more misguided.

and that's my final conversation topic about this episode - the fact that dot came to that conclusion on her own. yes, liko cracked the wall she was putting up and gave her that starting push, but dot went above and beyond to take that crack and then smash that wall into pieces without liko's help. which despite what it sounds like i think is extremely important for these two's dynamic moving forward.

i'm going to spare you the analysis of dot's fear of cameras, why she hides behind gurumin, as well as a breakdown of the whole part of the episode with varoom bc i'm trying to talk mostly about likodot here, but assuming you've watched the episode you know what i'm talking about. here, i'm focused on the part where liko exclaims that they have to help dot, and dot denies her help and says she wants to handle it on her own, and then from this experience she is able to conclude she wants to do her terastal exam as herself.

this is massive. for so long, liko has practically dragged dot along and held her hand through tackling new experiences... sometimes literally lol, thinking about the scene in HZ027 where liko drags dot to chase after terapagos by the arm. but anyway, on top of that, this is also different from her standing up to her mom in HZ041, which was ALSO massive, but a large part of that episode consisted of liko's interventions, and she was pushed into that situation where she really had no choice in the matter. she had to if she wanted to stay on the brave asagi which was non negotiable. but here? there was nothing stopping dot from just taking the help and running from the cameras. in fact it probably would have been much easier to do that. but she wants to prove herself, and not because she has to to get the thing she wants, but just because... she wants to. she wants to succeed on her own.

and i think that's really important in the context of not just dot herself, but likodot, because while it is very sweet of liko to constantly be pushing dot and leading her to further self understanding and more confidence, and i will always be emotional about liko essentially caring for her to the point of dot braving ending her time as a NEET, the end goal for that should always be that dot is given confidence in herself to exist as a person independently of liko's pushing, for her own sake.

i think it's also incredibly meaningful that liko saw this happen - she experienced running out to help dot like usual, and then actually having her advances denied, but not for bad reasons this time... she gets to see dot be a better version of herself and come to that conclusion liko tried to push earlier, on her own accord, in her own way.

i say all this because i want liko to be able to love dot not as a person to fix but also just... a person. i want what liko has done for her to cause dot to be a better person outside of what liko does, for herself. and i want liko to be able to love the wonderful and more confident person dot becomes as a result. do you understand. am i making sense. GAH. i am so worked up about this. i'm holding them both in my hands and shaking them violentlySJDFJFSD

god. thank you for reading if you've actually come this far. i am going to end off this messy and deranged casual "essay" with a couple of notes i wasn't sure how to fit anywhere else.

one, i think it's very nice that when roy thinks dot's in trouble, liko is sure enough in dot's intelligence and battling skills to say with great confidence that dot MUST have a plan

and TWO, AHHHH I'M SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT EPISODE AHHHH AHHHHHH WE ARE GOING TO GET EVEN MORE DOT CHARACTERIZATION AND GROWTH AND SHE'S GOING TO FACE HER MENTOR FIGURE HOW AM I GOING TO HANDLE IT AFTER ALREADY WRITING THIS MUCH ABOUT THE FIRST EPISODE IN THIS TWO-PARTER AND ALSO WHAT WAS THIS GAY SHIT IN THE EPISODE PREVIEW AHHHH AHHH

thank you for coming to my ted talk. goodnight tri state area

#likodot #dotliko #guruminshipping #pokemon horizons #trainer dot #trainer liko #anipoke #pokemon horizons spoilers #anipoke spoilers #long post #kiki was here #kiki.txt #horizons #i'm so fucking insanea bout them. hi

[hxhhasmysoul]

Hey, I read your analysis on yuuji sukuna and i loved it and i was craving for more so do you have anything more to add into. Like why sukuna is being this handsy to yuji Or keeps talking to yuji although yuuji mostly ignores him.. It reminded me how gojo was trying to do the same thing to sukuna but didn't get much response yorozu too But in yuuji's case their positions have been reversed to the point I am feeling embarrassed on his behalf. 😭😭

I think being embarrassed on his behalf makes sense. He’s really showing his emotions like that.

Sukuna didn’t respond to people who didn’t challenge his convictions.

He was used to being challenged by other sorcerers in the Heian era, they even ganged up on him then to defeat him and it seems like they failed then. And it seems that back then, like in the modern times the cult of strength was what governed the sorcery world. 

Sukuna was surprised that Gojou wasn’t the boss of the modern jujutsu world but Gojou actually misled him about that in a sense. Because Gojou kinda was the boss of the jujutsu world, not the official one but he could do whatever he wanted. Maybe what happened to Riko and Getou made him think that he shouldn’t take over by force. Maybe it was paired up with the thought that if he kills the elders he’d actually need to do some administrative work and take some responsibility for his actions which he avoids at all costs all the time. 

So maybe his plan to train devoted child soldiers to take over the jujutsu world stems from his laziness. Maybe getting Megumi as his first child soldier made him think he hit the jackpot because Megumi has the personality ripe to be turned into a professional bureaucrat. 

Sorry for the tangent, back to Sukuna. 

Sukuna was also revered in the past, like Gojou in the present. He also existed kinda on the side of the official power structure. Crowned the strongest and feared and worshipped, but not exactly in charge. Probably also because he didn’t care about ruling, he preferred to look down on everyone, like Gojou. 

Unlike Gojou he wasn’t worshipped from the day he was born. His mother was likely poor, she possibly was scared of him when he was born and abandoned him. Or the people around her forced her to abandon him. 

And he still ended up on top. He still became worshipped. He’s very much “what’s your excuse” towards the weak. But he also has no illusions about those who are strongish from his point of view. Those people suck up to him, want to add him to their power, want his attention and acknowledgement. He doesn’t respect that. He has no interest in their selfish goals.

Yuuji doesn’t care about him, so he feels like he needs to get to the bottom of that. Also Yuuji is now becoming a serious threat to him in ways that none of those selfish people ever were. 

Yuuji is of his bloodline but so different from him. He is something Sukuna surely has potential of being. 

I think Sukuna has always seen himself as the peak form of being Sukuna. That after absorbing his twin and possibly locking his soul inside himself, he has then perfected himself. He’s got exceptional knowledge of jujutsu rivalled and possibly surpassed only by Kenjaku’s and Tengen’s. His body is very strong. He’s an amazing strategist. 

But Yuuji has the potential of being more than him. And the difference is in personality. Kusakabe may dis Yuuji all he wants and pretend Yuuji has nothing special to him. But the fact that Yuuji is still sane after so many body swaps, or how quickly he’d learned everything before they figured out that he can be swapped into. Sukuna wasn’t fucking training him. Sukuna was doing everything to break Yuuji’s spirit. 

And he failed. The whole jujutsu world threw everything it could to destroy Yuuji and they failed. 

That’s why he’s so focused on Yuuji. That’s why Higuruma briefly caught his interest, because Higuruma also had convictions that weren’t in line with the jujutsu world’s norm. That’s why Maki also interests him, because she a) is curious for his jujutsu nerd side, b) she has also persevered and achieved incredible strength despite being rejected by the jujutsu world. The world that elevated and worshiped him, that bolstered his philosophy is crumbling in front of him and the people who are challenging him truly are the antithesis of that world. And Sukuna is nothing but curious. Especially of this kinda version of him that’s the first person that’s actually hurting him badly and is actually close to killing him. 

As to being handsy. 

What I think the canon reason to be: Sukuna is drawn to Yuuji and wants to see how he hurts Yuuji, wants to see his suffering but also wants to study him, understand him. 

What my shipper heart says: he’s missing how close they used to be and he subconsciously wants to be close again. 

#answering asks #sorry for answering so late #i know you sent this a month ago #jjk #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen manga #sukuna #jjk spoilers #itadori yuuji #sukuita #like a tiny bit #yes the gojou tangent is a cheap shot #that's just who i am

[wings-of-ink]

a sort of goofy ask incoming: let’s say MC has bangs and has asked RO for a slight trim. (“come on, it’s just a slight trim!”) to make this make sense, MC has hurt their hand, so they can’t do it themself this time. this could turn into a cute scene, right? well, what if RO’s hand slipped/trembled too much or they just purely miscalculated, and cut MC’s bangs just way too short? (i’m talking a good few inches, mwahaha) how would they break the news to MC? would they try to salvage it? let’s also say this happens after they’ve grown closer to each other, so MC wouldn’t be mad at them, though RO might not think that in the moment.

LOL, oh my word. I love the idea of MC having to fight untold horrors to break their curse while sporting horrible bangs. Cue epic image of a demon descending upon them and MC is just like:

Oswin:  He is so out of his depth that he doesn’t see a problem, mostly, but he knows that MC doesn’t usually have their hair like this. He thinks they look fine, it should be fine….He knows he’s messed up the moment MC’s eyes go wide at the sight. Okay, maybe it’s not fine. “I’m sorry, MC, I don’t think that’s quite what you wanted. But I like you - it - I like it, it’s you. So…I’m sorry…”

Zahn:  Giggles burst through before they can censor them and slap a hand over their mouth. “I am so sorry, I just really messed this up. I can fix it though…” After more cutting, they make it worse… “Um, still not quite done…” They try some weird paste and cut a little more…it is so much worse now. “Please don’t hate me.” …….”How about scarves or headbands?”

Duri:  Takes a step back and looks at MC, tiling their head to one side and then another before practically turning on their head to look at them upside down. SHIT. They are about to combust, MC is going to hate them after this… “So, how do you feel about being a trendsetter?” Duri smiles.

Rune:  They stop. “I told you not to trust me with this.” They appear very distressed. “I feel like I just ruined your beautiful hair….I didn’t even know hair could do this…” Rune knows someone that can fix this and drags MC to the nearest professional, paying any amount to make it better, and not taking no for an answer.

???: Cups MC’s face and squishes their cheeks in so their lips pucker, he is fighting so hard to not laugh. “Remember, you asked me for this.” He is not sorry.

Thank you for the ask and the laugh, Anon! ^_^

#god cursed if #asks #twine if #if wip #twine wip #gc ro reactions

[bornwholocker]

Ok people wanted to hear my thoughts about Phoenix wright characterisation and I am very down!!! So here take this

Just a fair warning, I know a lot of people haven’t played the aj trilogy, I’m gonna talk about spoilers for aa4 in this

Mainly I just hate when people make Phoenix stupid. He’s a lawyer, he passed the BAR EXAM, he’s not some oblivious little stuttering twink. It especially pisses me off when people act like he relies soo much on his bluffing. Yeah he bluffs, but he knows they’ll stick because most of the time he’s figured it out, he just doesn’t quite know how to get there. He’s smart about it. And he’s not always bluffing! Most of the time he knows what to present! It’s just when it gets to peak ace attorney trial insanity that he has to try his luck. Also, he tells people to die in his mind guys lmao. He’s not outwardly mean, but also he’s not some innocent little uwu smol cinnamon roll.

In a similar vein, and I’ve only started noticing this recently cus I’ve been reading a lot of college au’s, but people write Feenie like he’s a damn toddler. He’s an 18(?) year old man studying for a law degree. Yeah he’s gonna be a bit immature, but he’s not some bumbling idiot who just smiles all the time. I sort of get it because we didn’t get a lot of time with him but STILL! He acts stupid during the trial yeah, in no small part cus dahlia/iris(I’m sorry iris ily) had been manipulating him and he couldn’t believe she would try to hurt him. Which is a little dumb! But also understandable for an 18 year old who’s just been told his girlfriend was trying to kill him/frame him for murder!!! And after the trial when he’s talking to Mia, he gets serious. For most of the trial he is a little bit of a Larry, but the end shows that he’s not an idiot!!

AND THIS ONE PISSES ME OFF THE MOST, and it also involves mischaracterisation of Kristoph. So many people who write krisnix, which I’m all for tbh love some toxic old man yaoi, write it like Kristoph was an evil manipulative abuser and Phoenix was some oblivious smitten victim. Guys. In like one of the first cases of aa4 I’m pretty sure, Phoenix talks about how he knew who Kristoph was and what he did, he only kept him around for so long to get proof. Again, he’s not oblivious!! Plus, he was manipulated by Dahlia in a pretty similar way to Kristoph(which is something else I could talk about forever), so he knew what to look for. And yes, Kristoph was a piece of shit, but he wasn’t obvious about it. That’s how he got so many people to trust and believe him, he’s charismatic and he knows how to make people like him. And only once they do does he start his bs.

Granted, Phoenix is a little hard to get right, especially because originally Shu Takumi designed him as a sort of self-insert for the player, with his thoughts being based on Takumi’s own thoughts about the trials. But a lot of people just take a single trait and run with it and it annoys me so bad anyway I hope u enjoyed

@chateauu

#ace attorney #phoenix wright #feenie #beanix #krisnix #kristoph gavin #character study #maybe? #characterisation

[deepcreekvultures-writing]

"Hipsophobia"

Lesley Smith-Juniment x Gn!Reader

Category: Smut (NSFW, 18+)

Word Count: 4.9k

Content Warning: Fear of heights, mild panic-attack, smut, oral (male receiving)

A/N: Writing smut as an Asexual is hard, sorry if it's not very good.

Summary: Lesley has been begging to take you on a hot-air balloon ride for a little more than 3 years. As much as you hated saying no to him, your fear of heights always stopped you from taking him up on his offer. But luckily for Lesley, you can’t resist when he pouts like that.

=======

You thought Lesley was awfully cute, even from 30 feet away. Lost in his own little world, surrounded by the big open space, bracketed in by large oak trees. You stood, arms crossed, the tall grass tickling your ankles as you watched him set up his prized hot air balloon.

Even from this far away, you could tell that he was humming to himself as he twisted a canister into place. He had been all smiles all day, gushing over how excited he was to test out his new balloon. He holds the opening of the balloon open, igniting the burner and pulling it up as the hot air floods in.

He knew what he was doing, that much was obvious, he had been taking balloons up for longer than you’d known him. Still, watching that huge flame so close to his pretty face twisted your stomach. Plus, he had almost dropped the canister on his foot earlier. 

Luckily he was wearing his construction boots rather than his birkenstocks. As much as you thought Lesley was perfect, you had a few qualms with his fashion sense. 

Unluckily, he was wearing these thick, chunky, brown gloves, covering up his perfect, model-esque hands.

You finally approach, keeping quiet as you do so, hands sliding onto his shoulders, up his neck and over his eyes. He completely freezes, hunching in on himself. Lifting onto your toes to whisper in his ear, you let the tension settle before speaking.

“Hey there, sunshine, what’re you up to?” You greet, whispering softly as you try not to laugh. 

Lesley relaxes, letting out a groan, “Do you have to do that? You scared the shit out of me” He lets a soft laugh follow, turning to face you. You giggle, the way he curses always sounds so awkward. It was cute. Your hands gently slide down to his shoulders as he spins around, settling just below his collarbones. 

“Yes I do have to do that, it’s my job, though I am grossly underpaid.” A smile gathers at the corners of your mouth, reaching your eyes as you gaze up into Lesley’s calm face. 

“Oh, are you?” He chuckles, his face glowing in the soft evening light. Underneath your palms, you could feel the steady thrum of his heart.

“Definitely, oh- and undervalued. I don’t think you appreciate me Mr. Smith- Juniment.” Lifting a hand, you poked into his shoulder accusingly. His toothy grin widens at your teasing, his head tilting slightly to the side and he lets out a long exhale. 

“Do you want to go up with me?” He asks, eyes shining brightly in the light of the sun, his skin glistening around the perimeter of his face. He slips off his gloves, tossing them at the basket behind him. They hit the ground with a soft thud.

Your face scrunches, “In that death machine? No thanks, I’ll pass.” though you can’t stay like that for long as Lesley’s smile falters.

“It’s not a death machine, actually, I’m sure you’d like it if you gave it a shot.” He pouts a little, his face slightly flushed in the early summer heat. You frown, your resolve bending a little as the corners of his eyes soften.

“Les, you know I’m scared of heights.” Your voice is a lot gentler this time around. The fabric of his plaid button up is surprisingly soft under your touch.

He frowns, pressing his lips together slightly in thought. “I’ll be with you”

“Well, then I would be worried about your impending doom on top of mine.” You wiggle your fingers, tapping them against his clavicle with the soft pursing of your lips.

Lesley watches you as you think, your eyes cast down to his boots. His gaze is soft, a small frown playing at his lips. He had been begging you to go on the balloon with him since you started working as his client relations coordinator three years ago. Your fear of heights always pushed you from taking him up in his invitation, though you didn’t have any issue listening to him gush about the rides after the fact. 

You wanted to go, you really did. But being suspended hundreds of feet in the air in nothing more than a wicker basket?

No fucking way. 

“Listen, Lesley, I would love to go but-”

“You’re coming.” He interrupts, lifting his hands and placing them on top of yours, stilling your nervous tapping.

“I’m sorry?” Tilting your head and furrowing your eyebrows, you watch as he flounders a bit, looking around at the scenery before settling his gaze back onto you.

“I- well- well, I think you need to get over it.” Your eyebrows raise at that, eyes widening at his bluntness, “Not that- not that I think that your fear isn’t valid or anything! God no- no, I just think that you might be a little too stuck in your head about this?”

Even when you should be offended he finds himself firmly planted in your good graces. You couldn’t help but soften a little more, your resolve cracking at his caring nature. You had noticed in the past few months that Lesley had been a lot better at advocating for himself. 

And apparently he was pretty good at advocating for you, too.

“I guess so, but I feel like this might be a little overboard for getting over my fear.” You glance over at the death-coated balloon standing tall behind the flushed man in front of you.

“But if you do this, everything else will seem so much smaller.” Lesley’s voice sounded like a chorus of bells, his logic was wishy-washy, but he was just so Lesley. 

So perfect. 

“I’m very glad that you’re not my therapist,” You chuckle, trying to ignore the way his thumbs brush against the sides of your hands. He laughs, eyes closing and all, and you break. Your posture slackening as you melt under the rays of his smile. He looked like the break of sunlight through the clouds of a thunderstorm.

Pouting a bit, you sigh, your head drooping to look at his boots again. He stays silent, letting you mull it over as you count the scuffs on the edge of the tan suede. Your core temperature rises as his body heat flows into you, your hands trapped between his chest and his all-too warm hands.

“Okay, okay, we can go,” 

His face lights up, somehow shining even brighter as the sun starts to cascade towards the horizon in the west. 

“However,” You ball up the front of his shirt in your hands, “If anything goes wrong, you bring us back down immediately.”

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” He nods vigorously, his hair falling into his face sloppily. He pulls away from you, his hands lingering on your wrists before he turns, grabbing his gloves off the ground. 

Lesley slips the thick gloves on, covering up his slender fingers. You almost whimper, frowning deeply at the sight.

He turns on the burner, the flame large and in charge, he waves you over. He had explained how the balloons worked to you before, but this time, he helped you into the wicker basket, your hands gripping his shoulders tightly. 

He hops in with you, hauling the sandbags into the basket before turning to you. “Are you ready?”

You press yourself against the wall of the basket, clearing your throat and shaking your head both yes and no at the same time. Lesley laughs, and it soothes you for just long enough that he can crank the burner without much fuss from you. The hot air floats into the balloon and lifts it off of the ground steadily. 

“Oh my god, oh my god, Lesley, no- No, Lesley, I can’t!” You yelp, sliding down the wall of the basket, looking up at him with wide eyes. You press your hands into the basket, clawing at the material. He crouches in front of you in the enclosed space, putting his hands on your arms, gently guiding you to stand. 

His arm slides around your waist, holding you secure against him as your knees wobble. His gloved hand flattening around the curve of your ribs. 

“You’re okay, we’re fine.” He whispers, leaning forward and pressing his cheek against yours to whisper into your ear. His touch is muffled by the thick gloves, but his hand slides against your back in an attempt to sooth you. 

“I’m gonna kill you,” You grumble, your arms tossed around his shoulders. It took everything in your power to not strangle him in your grip. 

As the ground got further away, your face started to tingle, a wash of numbness falling over you. Behind the cage of your ribs, your heart hammers in your chest, heavy breaths falling from your lips as you watch the terrain drift away. 

“Lesley…” Your voice wobbles, the full weight of your body leaning into him. He responds in kind, adjusting himself to try and hold you up. Your hands claw at his back through his shirt, your panting breaths hitting his neck as your head swims. 

You were going to die. The balloon was going to pop and you were going to fall and you were going to die.

And Lesley.

No, no, no, no. Lesley can’t die, he’s perfect, he needs to live a full life and find someone that treats him right, and have a gajillion kids because there is no possible future that he would not be the world's best father. 

You tighten your grip around him, your thoughts going a mile a minute. They were mostly about Lesley: how to keep him safe in the impending crash, his future kids, the perfect world where you both survive and you have his kids, and the balloon being set on fire. 

The balloon is on fire and you’re dying.

The balloon is on fire and Lesley is dying.

Tears well up in your eyes and you choke out a sob. Lesley’s arm tightens around you, his other hand letting go of the trigger on the burner. He uses his teeth to pull off the fabric glove, securing his arm around you before doing the same with his other hand.

“Hey, hey, listen to me, we’re fine, everything is fine.” Lesley whispers, cupping the back of your head and manually turning you to look away from the ground. Holding you in place, Lesley looks you in the eyes, repeating his reassurance.

“Lesley, I’m scared, this is fucking terrifying.” You rush, your voice and octave shy of a shriek. He smiles in response, cupping your cheek with his warm hand, unobstructed by those gloves you were learning to hate.

“I’ve got you, and I’m not leaving, you're fine, we’re perfectly safe.” His soft voice only served to keep the tears flowing. He uses his thumbs to brush them away just for them to be replaced moments later. His sweetness was pushing you over the edge. 

“If you’re lying and you die, I’m going to kill you” You sob, letting your head fall onto his shoulder. Lesley chuckles at your threat, leaning his cheek on your head as he attempts to take one of your arms off of him. It takes a second before he can successfully pry your iron grip off of his shirt. 

Slipping his fingers around your wrist, Lesley guides your hand to rest on his chest, your palm flattening just over his heart. The steady rhythm is soft, only slightly elevated in comparison to your racing heart. 

“Feel that? We aren’t in danger, I’m not scared.” Lesley says, his voice slightly muffled by your hair, “I’ll let you know if you need to be scared,” 

He holds you flush against him, his hand flattened around your waist. He takes slow deep breaths, coaxing you through breathing exercises. Eventually he slides your hand up to his neck, pressing your fingers against his artery instead. You could feel the thrum of his heart with more clarity now, the vein pushing against your fingers with every steady pump of his heart.

Your body slowly relaxed into his, he was incredibly warm, and his steady, rock solid confidence in your safety gave you the comfort you needed to really try and reign yourself in. 

Your heart syncs up with Lesley’s, the rhythm steady and strong. A long silence follows as you focus on the thrumming of his heart against your fingers. Lifting your head, you take in the scenery, there’s a soft tension in your jaw as you peer over the edge of the basket. The ground was far below, the trees just clusters of vibrant green. You could see Austin not too far off, tall buildings breaking up the flat ground below.

His pulse against your fingers keeps you grounded. A soft breeze brushes over your tear stained cheeks, chilling your skin. Clouds blanket the sky, drifting calmly as the sun begins to kiss the horizon.

“I told you you’d like it.” He grins, his eyes locked on your face rather than the picturesque vision around him. 

“Oh shut up…” You grumble, watching a small cluster of birds circle around each other in the distance. Lesley’s smile softens as he takes in your face, flushed from your crying, blanketed in the warm glow of the setting sun. 

Your fingers adjust against his pulse, the touch gentle as you slide them a little further up, resting just beneath the underside of his jaw. He inhales sharply at the feeling.

“Y’know… I could never find the heartbeat in my wrist.” Lesley breaks the silence, his Adam's apple bobbing as he swallows. His smile is as bright and toothy as ever.

“Seriously?” You turn to look at him again, your eyebrows furrowing a bit, though the tension melts out of your jaw. 

He nods, letting go of you slowly and showing you his wrists. He attempts to find the vein, fumbling around with his fingers, making you laugh. 

“Here,” You gently slide your hands along his arm, one hand moving to cup the underside of his wrist, “It’s right next to your tendon,” the pads of your fingers slide along the tendon in the center of his wrist, making him jolt slightly as a chill runs up his spine. Settling your fingers next to his tendon, you apply a little pressure, smiling as you find it. He shuffles uncomfortably, pressing his lips together firmly in order to muffle the soft noise that bubbles up at the back of his throat.

Lesley follows your lead, pressing his fingers too far up his wrist. You correct him gently, placing your fingers over his and guiding him back down to the correct spot. 

“Thank you, Lesley.” You whisper, looking up at him. He smiles in response, shaking his head lightly. The sun begins to set further into the horizon, casting a bronze hue over his features.

There was no mistaking how gorgeous Lesley was on any given day, but in light of a sunset he was a whole other form of beautiful. The warm light shines over the apex of his flushed cheekbones, sinking into darkness within the hollows of his cheeks. His lips, soft looking and pink, are illuminated stunningly by the sun’s farewell. 

As you gaze at him, your fingers still pressed against his pulse, you could feel it quicken. Your anxiety rears its head and you look around the balloon, the absence of ground starting to freak you out as you realize how high up you are. 

Lesley, takes your face in his hands, forcing you to look at him. “We’re fine, what’s wrong?” He pouts, worried that he had done something to upset you. His thumbs slide over your cheekbones, wiping away any spare tears.

“Sorry- Sorry… your heart rate picked up and I was worried that something happened.” You chuckle dryly, taking a few deep breaths. Tilting your head a little into the warmth of his palms

He looks guilty, chewing his bottom lip slightly before speaking “No, sorry, I just- I just realized something is all.” 

Lesley’s eyes are soft and glistening, his cheeks tinted with more than just the sun’s kiss, and his tongue flicking out to wet his bottom lip. Heat pools in your stomach at the sight of him, his messy hair falling over his face wildly.

You lift your hand tentatively, gently pushing his hair back. Attempting to tame the wildness of his hair, your fingers slide against his scalp. In the end, you just push it back, mumbling something about him growing it out.

His hands return to your sides, his touch light as his fingers settle into the curve of your waist. Bringing yourself towards him, the tip of your nose brushes against his lightly. Lesley lets out a shuddering breath at the proximity, his large hands sliding down to envelope the apex of your hips.

Lesley was perfect. In every conceivable way. And god he smelled so good.

He tilts his head a bit, letting his lips ghost over yours. You could feel his breath wafting over yours, shuddering and uneven. Your body gravitates into him, hands sliding along the sides of his face lightly, your nose pressing into his cheek. 

The fact that you were a little more than a thousand feet in the air couldn’t possibly bother you now. Your hands slide down his neck, cradling the base of his skull. In your peripherals the sky behind him is blanketed in a pinky-orange hue, clouds breezing across the scape slowly.

Growing impatient, you finally pull him closer, meeting his lips in a short delicate kiss. It doesn’t last long, and you could feel him chasing the feeling of your lips as you pull away. Lesley pouts a bit, his eyes big and round as they look into yours with a silent plea. You couldn’t help but smile, his warmth lingering on your skin. The heat pooling in your stomach simmers into a white hot desire to kiss him again. It’s almost as if he can read your mind when his arm hooks snugly around the small of your back and he finds your mouth again, capturing it within his. 

Lesley’s lips were every bit as soft and warm as you imagined, fitting against yours perfectly. All the years of longing glances and pent up sexual frustration pours out as you kiss him. His hands press firmly into your back as he pulls a long breath in through his nose. His shoulders droop as he melts into you, your chests pressing together as he holds you as close as humanly possible.

Your perfect, beautiful, gentle Lesley kisses with a surprising amount of force. His mouth moves against yours in an intense rhythm, his tongue teasing at your bottom lip as he envelopes your mouth in his. You sigh into his kiss, and his hands travel up your sides. Bracketing your face in his warm palms. He nudges your jaw open with his thumb, sliding the pad of his finger along the flesh of your bottom lip. 

Your hands find their way down his torso, sliding against his plaid shirt before hitting the hem of his jeans. You hook your fingers around his belt loops, keeping his hips up against you. 

He sucks your tongue into his mouth, sliding his own against it. He breaks the kiss briefly, huffing out a few breaths against your face before diving back in. You let out a muffled yelp as he crashes back into you, your eyes opening for a moment before fluttering closed once more.

Your fingers trail around his waist band, tugging on the loops a little. Your thumb circles the silver buckle of his belt, sliding down the front seam of his jeans. Lesley chokes out a moan, the force of it breaking the kiss. Rather than let him pull away from you, you trail your lips down his chin. 

Leaving hot open mouth kisses down the center of his throat, your teeth gently graze over his Adam's apple. The tip of your tongue circles it twice before dipping down to the start of his collarbones. 

You trace the outline of him through the fabric of his jeans, circling your index finger around the tip briefly. His jaw falls open at the tease, a shuddering groan falling from his pretty pink lips.

Adjusting, you push your knee between his legs, keeping his hips against you as you take your hands off his waistband. Sliding them up his torso, you unbutton his shirt a little further. You push your leg further between his own, grinding against him. 

“Wait…” He gasps out, contradicting himself and letting his head tilt back for you.

You pause, stilling your lips against the warm skin of his neck, “What’s wrong?” You whisper, pressing a small kiss to his throat.

“Are you- are you sure?” His hips slide against yours, his desperation evident. 

“Very.” You mumble, letting your teeth nip their way across his collarbone. Flattening your tongue, you slide it up the expanse of his throat, pausing as you find his pulse. His heart hammers against your tongue, your teeth nipping lightly at the artery. His hand cradles the back of your head, his slender fingers sliding into your hair.  

You take his skin between your teeth, biting gently into his soft skin with all the care in the world. You suck gently on the bite to soothe the small bruise left in its wake. The vibrations of his moans against your lips fuel the fire and winding you tight. 

Your hands slide down his torso again, leaving his shirt partially unbuttoned. You drag your teeth along his pulse, nudging the collar of his shirt aside as you reach his collarbone. Hands resting on his hips once more, you stop his desperate grinding. 

Lesley huffs out heavy breaths, lacking the stimulation his hips were providing. He goes to speak but is stopped by your hand sliding over his waistband, dipping down to tease him again. You pay special attention to his collarbone, leaving the length of him as an afterthought.

He sighs out your name, sounding a little strained at your touch. You detach from his neck, pressing small kisses to the hickeys darkening his lightly tanned skin. Hooking your fingers into the buckle of his belt, you quickly unfasten it. Lifting your head, you press your cheek into his, feeling the burning shyness simmering under his skin. 

Your lips graze the shell of his ear, “Tell me if you want me to stop.” is all you whisper. You turn slightly, kissing along his jawline in slow drags.

He nods, whispering back an almost inaudible ‘okay’ which is quickly cut off by a sharp inhale as you pop the button of his jeans. Your index finger hooks over his zipper, sliding it down slowly. He squirms a bit against you, the slowness of your movements only proving to frustrate him further. 

His hand grips your hair, tugging your head back to connect your lips to his once again. Mouth slotting against yours, his tongue weaves its way into your mouth, sliding along the expanse of your own. His other hand slides a finger along the line of your jaw, brushing your hair out of your face as he envelopes you in his affection.

You flatten your hand, sliding it into his unfastened jeans. He groans into your mouth, his hips moving up to greet your hand, only separated by the thin fabric of his boxers. You could feel his pulse under your palm as you cup him in your hand, your thumb circling the head lazily. Using your free hand to keep him still, eating up his breathy whines as you tease him. You detach your mouth from his, biting your way down his neck. Taking the time to worship his skin, leaving large dark bruises as your mouth dips down to his exposed chest. 

He huffs out into the open air, moaning loudly as you begin to stroke his length through his boxers. He twitches underneath your touch, attempting to grind against your hand to pick up the pace, but you push his hips up against the wall of the balloon’s basket. 

“Stop.” You whisper, taking his earlobe between your teeth briefly. He groans, untangling his hand from your hair to cover his reddened face. 

Stopping your slow ministrations, you kiss down his throat again, over the curve of his collarbone and down his sternum. Lowering yourself slowly, you kneel on the floor of the basket. You free your hand from his jeans, much to his displeasure, but your fingers hook around his belt loops. Tugging his jeans down his thighs, he lets out a small gasp, panicking a bit as he drops his hand and meets your eyes.

You smile up at him, your hand finding him again, leisurely sliding along him through the thin fabric. Sliding his boxers down his thighs to sit along with his jeans, you take in the full sight of him. 

Your fingers curl around him and he sucks in a breath through his clenched teeth. Tracing the thick vein running along the underside of his shaft, you meet his eyes. His hands grip the edge of the basket, his blunt fingernails digging into the wicker material. 

Lesley’s eyes are blown wide, the honey-like color of his irises limited to a thin ring around his dilated pupils. The flushed color of his skin is illuminated by the thin layer of sweat gathering at his temples. He watches you with labored breath as you slowly begin to pump him in your hand. Swiping your thumb over his tip, you use the precum gathering in the slit as a form of lubricant. He shudders, his mouth dropping open as he lets out a broken moan.  

Leaning forward, you slide your tongue along the side of him, the tip running along the pulsing vein. He buck his hips absentmindedly and you flatten your free hand over his stomach, keeping him pressed against the wall. He whines softly, your hand moving slowly along him, your tongue circling around the tip in an aggravatingly slow fashion. You were toying with him, watching him carefully as he writhes.

The noises falling from his lips sounded like the most gorgeous symphony. You knew full well how desperate he was, his hips fighting to move despite your restrictions.

Flattening your tongue, you take just the head of him into your mouth. You quicken the pace of your hand, pumping him a little faster. You drag your tongue along the underside of his irritated tip, sliding it along his slit. 

Lesley chokes out a strained moan, his head falling forward. Quickly pushing his hair out of his face, intent on watching you despite how achingly slow you were going. His eyelids flutter as you take him further, his head sliding along the flat of your tongue. Dropping your hands to gently grip his thighs, your fingernails lightly dig into the flesh. 

Without restrictions, his hips jerk into you, the tip of him hitting the back of your throat. You groan against him, the vibration almost causing him to unravel. Lifting yourself off of him a bit, you push back down, the tip of your nose brushing against his base continuously as you find a rhythm. Dropping all teasing and focusing on his pleasure, you keep your pacing steady, your tongue curling around his head to provide extra stimulation. 

As you push him closer to the edge, his muscles tense and his thoughts go flat. Lesley couldn’t think or say anything, his brain completely fogging over. His vision blurs as your soft noises vibrate into his sensitive skin, his tip sliding between your upper palate and the flat of your tongue. Completely overcome with everything around him, a bead of sweat trails its way down the tip of his nose.  He couldn’t possibly care how loud he was being under your control.

Feeling himself getting closer, his hands find their way into your hair. He gently rakes his fingers over your scalp as his back arches, pushing himself as far into you as he can. Lesley is completely incoherent, words coming out broken and jumbled in between pants and gasps. He twitches in your mouth, his hips stuttering lightly as he orgasms. 

You take it as well as you can, your nails digging into his thighs as you focus on not choking at his release. His knees wobble, and you pull off of him slowly. You take a second to swallow fully, standing from your kneeling position to hold him upright when he wavers. He looked completely fucked out, his eyes swimming as they land on your face.

Clearing your throat, you speak, “God, Lesley, you okay?” The question is accompanied by a light laugh. You lift your hand, brushing a hand through his hair to get a good look at his face.

“I love you.” He pants, leaning in to capture you in a kiss. He could taste himself on your lips, taking the time to rub his thumbs over your cheeks. 

When the kiss finally breaks, you laugh again, “I love you too, Les, now answer my question”.

“Oh! Shit- I’m so sorry, are you okay? I just-” He cuts himself off, floundering a bit as his mind races with the implications of what just happened. His hands keep your face bracketed in his palms, his eyes searching yours in a panic.

“I’m fine, promise,” Nodding, you press a few quick kisses to both of his cheeks. “Are you feeling okay? Lightheaded at all?” You ask, a little concerned considering the altitude. 

He shakes his head, “I’m perfect, great- you’re great, and perfect.” He scrambles to shower you in compliments, peppering your face in kisses in an oddly apologetic fashion.

“Thanks,” You giggle, smiling as he showers you in affection, “Now, can you bring us down? I’d like to take you to dinner.”

#Lesley Smith-Juniment #Lesley Juniment-Smith #hot air movie #hot air #matthew gray gubler #lesley smith juniment #lesley smith juniment x reader #lesley smith juniment x you #hot air fanfic #hot air fanfiction #smut #no use of y/n #gn reader #gublernation #mgg

[lady-october]

Pairing : Oli Sykes x Female Assistant Genre : Romance, Smut (18+ Only) Previous Chapters : Available on Ao3

Story Content : Smut, Drama, Choking, Power dynamics, Romance, Sadism/Masochism, Dom/Sub, Mentions of addiction & self harm, Degradation, Praise kink, Exhibitionism, Breath play, Dirty talk.

Summary :

“Don’t you see what a dangerous game you’re playing? Why did you have to look so fucking delicious tonight, I couldn’t stop undressing you in my mind, thinking of all the twisted things I want to do to you.” She had only worked on the touring team for three weeks, but her mind had been hijacked by dirty thoughts of a man she barely even talked to. Sure, he was very attractive, but were there other reasons she was so uncontrollably drawn to him? This is a filthy story of pain, self discovery, and love.

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Chapter 19: Why am I this way?

Chapter title is lyrics from "LosT"

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It was 7.35pm when I knocked on Oli’s door.

He’d sent me a text saying he’d come by my room around 8, instructing me to cover up – preferably in layers, and while bewildering, I’d done as he wished; slipping the sweater that Liam had hated so much over my mesh top and jeans outfit.

The only problem was that after having spent several hours attempting to stay sane as the guilt inside me expanded and grew until I felt like a fucking pressure pot, I decided that I couldn’t wait until the time Oli had decided to come and collect me.

Instead I took matters into my own hands, even though the hands in question were currently so sweaty I had to continuously wipe them on my jeans as I waited for him to open the door.

I took a deep breath, trying to collect my scattered thoughts.

I knew Oli and I weren’t a couple, and I knew I didn’t necessarily owe him anything, yet it still felt as if I’d just cheated on him by kissing Mat.

By enjoying kissing Mat.

While I knew it was perfectly normal to date, and even get physical, with more than one person at a time, I’d never actually done it before, and because it was all very new to me I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that I’d committed some terrible, unforgivable crime.

Which had me questioning if I only felt this way because of my anxiety, or if my feelings were warranted and I was just a horrible person, playing Russian roulette with people’s hearts.

Pull yourself together, Alice. You haven’t even slept with Mat.

I dried my sweaty palms on my jeans again, wondering what was taking Oli so damn long.

Wondering if I should knock again.

Just as my fist was about to connect with the door, it finally swung open with Oli behind it, fully in black with a half buttoned dress shirt, his tattoos spilling out from every hem.

He squinted at me, eyeing me up with suspicion, “You’re early, and in the wrong place.”

The door opened further to let me inside.

As I walked past him I was hit by the wonderful way he smelled, which was stronger than usual considering he was in the middle of getting ready and had probably just applied whatever magic product that produced it.

“I’m sorry, we need to talk.” I said distantly, slightly distracted as my attention went from his enthralling scent to immediately take in the room before me.

It had a similar light and airy colour scheme as mine and Liam’s room, but the ceilings were even higher, with a massive bed facing a stone fireplace on the opposite wall.

But the real showstopper was the view.

You could see the entire lake from the row of large arch windows, and since the sun had just gone down the mirror image of the moon was slowly dancing on the calm surface of the water.

“What about?” He asked, sounding even more suspicious than he looked as he shut the door.

Deciding I couldn’t stand up during this conversation, I walked over to the end of the bed and took a seat.

“Mat.” I felt myself starting to disassociate ever so slightly as I said his name out loud.

He was in the middle of buttoning his shirt as I spoke, causing his fingers to stop what they were doing entirely.

“About you and Mat?”

“Yes.” My gaze fell to the floor out of shame.

He audibly exhaled before walking over to sit next to me on the bed.

The mattress shifted from the pressure, but I didn’t dare face him, didn’t dare see his expression as the sound of my heart beating in my ears got louder and louder during the heavy silence that had fallen between us.

“Do you still want to go on this date with me?” He asked softly, with so much sadness in his voice that my eyes involuntarily flew straight to him.

Large hazel eyes, framed by hair that had been tamed into more defined locks, were swimming with vulnerability as they looked at me, causing the ache in my heart to intensify tenfold.

“Very much.” I answered with certainty.

He studied my face as several emotions flickered over his features.

“Then I don’t need to know.” He stated casually before he shot out of bed to continue buttoning his shirt.

Feeling panicked, I frowned deeply, knowing I needed to tell him what happened before I fucking exploded.

“Wait, but–” I started, but he cut me off instantly, raising his voice in the process.

“Alice!” He bit out, shooting me daggers for a split second before his expression softened. He walked back over to me, reaching down to scoop up my hands into his, guiding me to stand before him, “Let tonight be about us.” He pleaded.

As I looked up at the man that was glowing with so much adoration for me that it caused my chest to constrict, I knew I didn’t have a choice but to answer his plea, knowing my heart wouldn’t allow anything else.

“Okay.” I said under my breath, reluctantly.

His pleading features shifted to a warm smile, tension slipping away from him, “Thank you.”

Letting go of my hands he skipped over to the window for a quick look at the sky as he finished doing the last of his buttons.

“Come on, love.” Is all he said before he took my hand and hurried us to the exit, not allowing me another second to reconsider my decision, or to start up another conversation.

The look he shot me after shutting the door was so full of excitement I couldn’t help but smile back at his sparkling grin, some of the anxiety from not having told him what transpired between me and his best friend melting away in the process.

But confusion quickly claimed me instead, as I was being pulled in the opposite direction of the elevator.

“Wait, where are we going?” I laughed.

“Oh, don't you worry about that.” Stopping at the emergency exit at the end of the corridor, he shot me yet another devil's grin before pushing the door open, leading to a winding staircase.

“Are we allowed to do this?” I heard my words echo in the stairwell as we quickly ascended the steps.

“Turns out, when you pay people they let you do whatever you want really.” He looked back at me, “Well, within reason of course.”

“I see, so is that what you’re doing with me then?” I asked teasingly, causing him to laugh as we reached the top of the stairs that had led us to a large door.

“While I fucking love calling you my whore, I was hoping your reasons for following my orders when we’re alone wasn’t for monetary purposes.” He said with a suggestive smile, pushing the door open.

It was so dark at first that I didn’t see anything, but my eyes quickly adjusted.

We were standing on the rooftop of the hotel looking out over the lake, the short stone wall perimeter adorned in fairy lights, and a large pile of blankets and pillows in the very middle, next to a tray with drinks and some food.

Oli let go of my hand and began walking backwards towards the blankets, arms stretched out, looking proud of what he’d set up for us, “What do you think?”

I was in awe as I took in the space.

The thought struck me that I’d never had anyone prepare such a romantic date for me before.

“This isn’t what I expected.” I breathed.

With a frown his arms fell to his sides, “Disappointed?”

“No, it’s incredible – perfect, actually.” The smile returned to his features as he walked back towards me, “I was just expecting– I guess I thought you wanted us to be more open about us, and this is very… private.” 

He came to a stop in front of me, “We are more open – everyone knows we’re on a date right now– besides, I just wanted to get you alone again, no distractions this time, just you and me, so I can spend more time with you.” The suggestive grin returned as he leaned in closer, “Which is why I told you to cover up.”

I felt my brows furrow, “Because I’m distracting?”

“There’s nothing more distracting, love.” He said so seriously I almost laughed.

It was my turn to be suggestive, “I was covered up for most of last night, you still ended up coming twice.”

A light breeze came as his eyes darkened, causing his locks to sweep over his face, gently rustling the trees all around us, “You may have been in a baggy sweater, love, but I knew what was on display under that poor excuse for a skirt, barely covering your ass.” As he spoke his gaze wandered to my lips, the air quickly filling with the familiar electricity that always seemed to fly between us. 

Yet this time it stirred discomfort in me, as if it didn’t feel right to do this without him knowing about me and Mat.

“Not to mention the absolutely perverted lipstick you’d chosen, how was I not supposed to play with it? As soon as I saw it on your fuckable little mouth I knew exactly what I wanted to do.” His thumb was just about to connect with my lower lip, hovering not even an inch from it, to rub it just like he’d done last night. 

Heat spread throughout my whole body.

But the imminent physical contact also made me tense up; made me want to blurt out that I felt his friend's erection between my legs earlier, despite him not needing to know; despite him making it very clear that he doesn’t want to know.

Thankfully the hand fell away right as it touched me, with Oli shaking his head.

“None of that, come with me.” He said flatly, eyes wide, clearly attempting to keep us on track so we wouldn’t just spend all night fucking, which, for once, I was extremely grateful for.

Taking my hand, he swiftly led us to the blanket pile that he proceeded to lay down on, patting the space next to him for me to get comfortable as well.

As I took a seat, I paused to look at him, my heart still screaming to tell him what happened, making me question why I needed him to know so badly, while also wishing intensely that I didn’t feel like this at all so I could simply enjoy the night.

A couple of frown lines appeared on Oli’s forehead as I wordlessly stared at him, “Come on, love, lay down with me.”

His words were spoken gently, clearly worried, either about me or whatever he assumed was running through my head.

Attempting to shake off my thoughts, I did as he requested, making sure to leave a bit of space between us, not feeling steady enough for physical contact.

But my intrusive thoughts melted away effortlessly as soon as my head hit the pillow.

My eyes had adjusted further to the darkness, allowing me to now see the massive blanket of twinkling stars above us.

Having lived in cities my whole life, the night sky I knew looked nothing like this.

“That’s amazing.” I said distantly, lost in the natural beauty above us.

“I love the stars, I don’t get to see them too often though.” He said with wonder in his voice.

“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen them this clearly.” The longer I looked the more my eyes adjusted, causing even more stars to appear, this time with very faint washes of colours behind them, giving me the illusion that someone was painting the vision before me as I watched.

“I used to dread coming here.” He started, and while Mat had already told me that, I wasn’t about to interrupt him as he opened up to me, “The first time was a bloody nightmare, thought I’d rip my hair out with how little there is to do. But that was back when I needed constant distraction to stay sane – also back when ketamine was a bigger problem.” He tilted his head towards me for a second, I would have met his eyes but they quickly returned to the night sky as he continued with his story.

“Second year they had to essentially drag me here, but I came more prepared – mostly with a lot of weed,” He huffed out a nervous laugh, as if talking about his old self had mentally brought him back there, “Bumped into a janitor as I was heading out to find somewhere nice to sit and smoke – stuffy old fella, he smelled the weed on me and pointed out that it’s not allowed here, but I could tell he didn’t actually give a shit, so thought I’d try offering him some. All he did was shrug and led us up to this roof to get high.” 

I felt myself smile, trying to imagine some rigid old man hanging out with Oli in his twenties.

“We had fuck-all in common; he was in his 60’s, religious man, never heard of our band – pretty sure he thought metal music was the devils music, but turned out his wife had just died so I don’t think he cared much about anything anymore.” He paused for a moment, sighing before he continued, “He was honestly kind of a prick, but he loved the stars, knew all the names of the constellations – told me them too. He tried really hard to describe exactly where they were, but none of it stuck, probably cause none of it really made sense to me.”

At some point my gaze had wandered to Oli as he spoke, his eyes sparkling as he dreamily stared at the sky above us, lost in his story. 

"Never saw him again either, don’t even remember his name, but every year after that I’ve been coming up here to look at the stars – well, whenever the weather would allow it. But since I never learned the proper names, I’ve just sort of been making up my own from whatever shape I see that night – kind of like cloud gazing. Like over there, that totally looks like a car, doesn’t it?”

He moved a bit closer, our shoulders connecting as he pointed towards an area in the sky, his intoxicating smell flooding me.

I swallowed, attempting to focus on what he was showing me, but I couldn’t see anything that even remotely resembled a car.

“I can’t tell if I’m blind, or if you’re making it up, but there’s no way there’s anything car-shaped there.” I retorted as steady as I could, trying to keep the mood light.

Trying not to be too distracted by his proximity.

However, that immediately became impossible when he turned to his side and moved even closer, pressing his warm, slightly stubbly cheek to mine, causing my breath to hitch before he took my hand, pointing my index finger to the shape he was trying to describe in the sky.

“You see these six stars here…” He spoke softly as he guided my finger in a circle over the six stars, his warm breath fanning my face, smelling minty, “That’s the front wheel – and these ones over here…” My finger was directed in a shape that loosely resembled an oval, a bit to the right of the circle, which was hard to follow since my attention has been hijacked by how his thighs rubbed against mine, how his hand so tenderly held my fingers in his, and how his hair tickled my face in the gentle breeze of the night, “That’s the back wheel. Then finally, this riiiight here…” Trailing my finger in the most jagged arch possible, I couldn’t help but frown as the vehicle appeared in the sky above me, “That’s the top of the car. You see it?”

It was truly one of the most horrible renditions of a car I could imagine.

“Oli, the only way you could convince me that’s a car is if a small child drew it.”

He laughed as he laid back down on his back, angling himself in such a way that our shoulders and temples touched, “That’s fair, it’s not my best work. You try one.”

It took me a moment before I even began searching the sky, being suddenly overwhelmed by the emotions building in my chest, which only multiplied when Oli sighed, snuggling his head into mine even more.

There seemed to be a confusing duality with every emotion I felt in the presence of the man next to me; pain made me feel pleasure, happiness so easily caused panic, and I found comfort in the discomfort he so deliciously crafted for me.

Which sadly meant that the most perfect night I could imagine was currently being ruined by the soul crushing guilt that intensified every time I was reminded of how I felt about him.

How I wanted nothing more than to cuddle into him right now, yet feeling like I didn’t deserve the joy it would bring me.

“Nothing, love?” He asked after a while.

“Not yet, just a bit longer.”

My eyes had been mindlessly searching as I filtered through my thoughts, and finally I saw something.

“Oh– a smiley face!” I exclaimed with a bit too much excitement than the situation warranted.

“Show me.” He said before pushing his arm under my neck, wrapping his other hand around my thigh in order to pull me close, nestling me up against him.

My pulse sped up as I was flooded with more emotions; more discomfort; more happiness; more panic.

With a slightly shaky hand I started tracing the mouth, “Right there.” I whispered.

He pressed his face closer to mine to get a better look.

“Oh yeah, I see it.” He breathed, before reaching for one of the spare blankets, draping it over us as we laid tangled up with my head on his shoulder.

It was a fairly warm night, and the blanket was thin, not adding much warmth or weight to us, yet it felt as if I was suffocating as I listened to his heartbeat under my ear, my fingers restlessly playing with the buttons of his shirt, his hand on my arm caressing me tenderly, lovingly.

I should be happy – content – yet the wonderful sensations caused my heart to break.

He released another long sigh, holding me even closer, and I could barely take it anymore.

“It’s all you can think about, isn’t it? The stuff with Mat.”

The question took me by surprise, even though I realised my mood was very clearly written all over me.

“Yes.” Afraid to say it out loud, the word had barely been a whisper.

He rolled me onto my back, perching himself on his elbow so he could look at me during this conversation.

Tears stung my eyes as I looked at him hovering over me, his beautiful dark locks falling over worried features, with the starlit sky as his backdrop.

I felt such deep disappointment in myself for not being able to let it go, not being able to stop the guilt from eating me alive.

The stunning man above me visibly tensed, his worried features turning increasingly serious, “Do you have feelings for him?”

Shaking my head, I answered with confidence, “No, I don’t.”

It was too soon, all I felt for Mat right now was interest – curiosity.

And attraction.

His eyes pinned me, “Then please, Alice, drop it.” 

A tear ran down the side of my face, “I can’t.” 

“Why?” He asked through clenched teeth, frustration clearly taking hold of him.

“Because it feels like I’ve cheated, and you said that was a dealbreaker.”

While it had been obvious something had happened between me and Mat from the moment I stepped into Oli’s hotel room tonight, this was the first time I’d said something that had actually confirmed it.

With that confession, some of the pressure inside me began to ease, making me want to tell him everything, despite Oli’s wishes.

Despite how much pain and anger was twisting his features, the volatile energy radiating off of him in waves as he wordlessly glared at me.

When he finally spoke the words were low, aggressive, “You aren’t mine.”

Logically I knew I wasn’t, I knew we weren’t a couple, yet the words stung and burned like acid.

“Then why does it feel like I am?” I whispered, more tears running into my hairline.

For a moment I thought he was about to break down, to join me in tears as I whispered the words, but the anger returned immediately, the air so thick with it I could barely breathe. 

“But you’re not. You’re not ready to commit to me, to be mine, are you?”

I wasn’t – not yet, not with this many unanswered questions; not with this much confusion.

Not with this many fears.

So I shook my head in response, not able to speak the words.

“Then fucking drop it.”

The words were already on my lips as he pleaded for me to keep the information to myself, begging me to spare him the details, knowing it would only hurt him further.

Yet I couldn’t stop myself.

“We kissed.”

His hand was suddenly at my throat, baring his teeth, a mixture of intense disbelief and pure rage burning in his eyes.

But it only made me want to keep sharing, keep pushing the knife in deeper.

“I also walked in on him last night, when he was– right as he–”

The tears were streaming from my eyes as I clumsily pushed the words out of me, needing them to leave my mouth so they’d stop torturing me. 

The furious man above me digging his nails into the flesh of my neck, yet refusing to apply any pressure that would stop me from speaking.

“Shut the fuck up, Alice.” He spat.

“...Right as he came.” A sense of relief washed over me as I finished my sentence.

His chest was heaving, the fingers on my throat shaking as the nails dug in deeper, hurting me in a way that did nothing but make me feel infinitely better as the pressure inside me subsided.

Meanwhile the pressure inside Oli was building, threatening to explode.

But that’s what I want, isn't it? For him to take it out on me, so I can feel less guilty.

Unease settled in my stomach at the realisation.

“Did you like it?” His words were mocking, vicious, dripping with uncontained fury. 

I nodded, feeling dizzy from the intense mixture of emotions and sensations, my uncontrollable tears flooding my eyes further, turning the man above me blurry before each blink.

He studied my face as he worked overtime to control his rage, “Why are you telling me this?”

“I don’t want to have any secrets with you.”

With a sharp inhale the anger immediately fell away from him as I spoke the words I’d realised last night in my bunk, knowing that I couldn’t consider potentially starting something with Oli while keeping secrets.

“B-but that’s not the only reason.” I pressed on, knowing that not keeping secrets included sharing the realisation that hit me just a moment ago.

The fury returned to his features like it never left; as if he could read my mind.

“You want me to punish you, don’t you? So you’ll feel better?”

I felt my whole face twist in pain as the guilt punched me in the gut, hating how he already knew, hating how right he was.

Hating myself for being like this, for torturing him in the process.

“At any point did you stop to think how deeply fucking selfish that is?”

“I know– I know, I’m not expecting it, I’m so sorry, Oli. P-please, forgive me. I just wanted to enjoy tonight with you so badly– I, I’m–”

The hand on my throat moved to my mouth, covering it firmly, effectively putting an end to my rambling apology.

I blinked away more tears as he pushed my legs apart with his, the furious, unwavering stare darkening as he mounted me, the blanket that he’d so lovingly wrapped us up in just moments ago falling away from our bodies in the process.

“Do you want me to fuck the pain away?”

The air, already sickly thick from rage and pain, turned thicker still with lust, my whole body screaming for his; needing the sweetest of release that only he could offer, more than I needed air.

I nodded slowly against his hand, feeling shame for admitting it considering the circumstances.

His eyes darkened further, his hair falling over them, rendering them barely visible above me as his hips connected with mine, grinding his already solid length against my pussy so hard it hurt in the most delightful of ways through the thick fabric of my jeans, making him inhale a ragged breath while I moaned into his hand, blinking away more tears.

“I want to be more than your painkiller, Alice.” I could feel a deep heartbeat between my legs with his erection pressed against me, his breath coming heavier in the process, “But the relief works both ways, and I’m suffering a fair bit right now.”

He ground down on me again, my back arching into him, my legs wrapping around him.

Studying my face, he let go of my mouth, causing our breaths to mingle in the night air as another gust of wind rustled the trees.

“You’ll need a safeword tonight.” He breathed, “Say red if you want me to stop entirely, and pink if you want me to ease up. I will not fucking listen to any other words, you can scream ‘no’ till you turn blue – I won’t give a shit. Are we clear?” He asked, glaring at me.

A shiver ran through me.

Excitement, fear, adrenaline, and curiosity all blossomed in my chest, making me feel incredible.

Making me feel alive.

“We’re clear.”

He visibly swallowed, “Alright.”

Pushing off of me entirely, he crouched to collect me, effortlessly throwing me over his shoulder.

My heart was racing so fast I thought it would beat right out of my chest as he took long strides towards the door.

I realised I hadn’t thought this through, that he was probably taking me to his room – that we’d have to walk through the corridor that had been bustling with people every time I’d used it – including the other band members.

“Wait!” I yelled as he pushed the door open to the stairs, and was immediately met with a sharp pain on my behind, burning as the hand that had caused the pain trailed down towards my thigh, the thumb brushing over my pussy in the process. 

“That’s not the fucking safeword, is it?” His words echoed in the stairwell, followed immediately by another burning slap, the caressing thumb pressed harder against my core this time.

I whimpered in pain, considering using the safeword already, to avoid any potential awkwardness on our way to his room.

Which was foolish of me, knowing damn well how badly I needed this.

So I shut up, accepting that whatever happens, happens.

As soon as we were flooded by the bright light of the hotel corridor Oli spoke, causing my heart to sink.

“Hiya, mate, you alright?” The aggressive energy in his voice remained unchanged as he spoke the casual words.

“Yeah, good thanks.”

I felt myself go ice cold.

I couldn’t see him, but I knew that voice; it was Mat.

He’d answered flatly, sounding distant, obviously shocked by the vision before him.

But Oli didn’t falter, he never stopped taking long strides – nor did he stop inflicting pain on me.

When Mat’s legs entered my peripheral vision as we passed him, I felt another slap, growing more painful each time it happened, making me whimper louder.

I looked up at Mat through my hair as I was helplessly being dragged off, his eyes were dark with some unreadable emotion as he stood by his room, clutching his keycard.

All I could do was let him stare at me while my expression involuntarily melted into obvious pleasure as fingers dragged over my pussy, before we disappeared into Oli’s room.

... Subscribe to the story on Ao3 for future updates

#oli sykes #oli sykes x reader #oli sykes smut #oli sykes fic #oli sykes fan fiction #bring me the horizon #you got a taste now #smut #mat nicholls #So things may be a bit nuts. I do apologise lol

[that-sarcastic-optimist]

hi firstly love your one-shots and drabbles if you are still taking requests i would love to see one where kluas and caroline meet somewhere and he annoys her predictably haha but he grows on her but she doesn't want a relationship (reason known or unknown) and they go their sepertae ways only to see each other again where they fall for each ohter. thank you!

“This is a complete waste of time,” Caroline hisses, her phone in danger of being crushed by her grip. “I hate this.”

“So you’ve said, Care,” Bonnie’s voice comes through the phone, pots clanging behind her.

“You better not mess up my system, Bon,” Caroline warns her, handing money to the barista. “I'm already in a bad mood, so I will kill you when I get home.”

“Oh, you mean when you get home in a few…weeks?” Bonnie asks innocently. “That sounds about right.”

Caroline growls. “You're a menace and I hate you.”

“Liar,” Bonnie says cheerfully. “Bye, Care!”

She hangs up and Caroline irritably shoves the phone in her purse, mutters a thank you and grabs her coffee.

She’s only managed a few steps before it’s knocked right out of her hands. Coffee flies out of the cup (not literally, but enough to look like it’s in slow motion) and lands on her shirt, and the suit of the man before her.

Caroline stares at the shirt of the man before her in shock, unable to process her current predicament.

Then she’s reminded of her task for the day, and finds her voice.

“You…you klutz!” she shrieks, clenching her fists. “Are you incapable of looking where y—”

Her voice dies at she looks the man in the face.

And, really, she scolds herself for that later, but not in the moment, because wow.

Curly blonde hair. Eyes bluer than any sapphire she’s seen. And cheekbones that look like they were carved from freaking stone.

It’s all ruined, of course, by the arrogant, slightly annoyed, but at the same time, smug look on his face.

The nerve of this man.

Caroline finds her voice again, and draws herself up to her full height. “Well? Are you going to apologize?”

The man raises an eyebrow. “Apologize for what exactly, love?”

Caroline should be given an award for not melting at the accent, because turns out the guy is freaking British. How does that even happen?

“Are you blind? Can you not see my blouse?” she retorts snippily.

“I am not the one who bumped into someone clumsily—”

“I'm sorry, are you insinuating that this is my fault?”

“Well, you were looking elsewhere—”

“You were on your phone!” Caroline spits. “It is literally still in your hand!”

The man looks at his phone, confused. “Oh,” he says dismissively. “Must’ve been distracted. Terribly sorry, I was in the middle of a very important email. I'm sure you understand, given that you seem to be a…” He trails off, trying to make sense of her outfit.

“Model,” Caroline supplies sarcastically.

His eyebrows tick up. “Well, I wouldn’t be surprised, honestly.”

“You're a dick,” Caroline seethes. “Get out of my way.”

She’s two steps away from the door before he’s in her way again. “What?” she asks irritably.

The man smiles. “My sincerest apologies, love. Allow me to acquit myself.”

“Don’t call me love.”

“Can I have a name?” He dimples at her. The guy has the gall to freaking. Dimple.

“No,” she says shortly, pushing past him, striding out the door.

The ass has the nerve to follow her. “As I previously stated, love, I do apologize. Profusely. I was in a hurry, and I—”

“Great. Apology accepted. Now leave.”

He stops her, coming to stand in front of her. “What can I do to make it up to you?”

And he sounds earnest, so Caroline frowns. She sighs, setting the nearly empty cup of coffee down on a counter. “Nothing,” she grumps, grabbing a bunch of napkins and dabbing at her blouse. “Not much you could anyway. My shirt is ruined, and I have a very important thing I need to do—”

“That’s not an issue,” the man interrupts. “We’re on fifth avenue, love,” he smiles. “Do take your pick, I'd be happy to replace your clothing.”

Caroline eyes him warily. “Okay, I know you're a guy and all, but you have to know fifth avenue isn't a regular—”

“Anything you want.” He’s grinning, and Caroline closes her eyes in frustration.

“Fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

.

.

.

It’s amazing how patient he is.

It’s been forty-five minutes since they’ve been in one store, and the guy—Nik, he tells her—follows her wherever she goes, holding her purse as she browses through the racks.

Caroline itches to tell him to look at the price tags, because she’s in freaking Gucci and the stuff here is not cheap. She has two pairs of designer clothing, at most, in her closet at home, one of which was a gift, and this guy is letting her parade around in the store like she owns it.

“Are you sure—” she starts again, whirling to face him.

Nik smiles at her, cocking at eyebrow. “My answer is the same, as it was the last four times you asked.”

Caroline rolls her eyes, unable to keep a smile forming on her face, turning away to hide it. “You're very good at this, you know,” she informs him, looking at him through the rows of hangers.

Nik looks at her bemusedly. “Good at what?”

“The whole shopping thing. You know, where a couple is on a date, and it was the girlfriend’s turn to pick, and the guy just drags her bags around while trying not to collapse of boredom. You're very steady on your feet.”

Nik’s grin broadens. “So we’re on a date?”

A flush spreads across her face. “I didn’t say that.”

“But you implied it,” he replies cheerfully, his lips twitching when she glares at him.

“Opinion,” she orders, ignoring his last statement, holding a pretty red shirt against her chest. It’s modest and cute enough for jury duty, and the price range is affordable enough that Caroline would consider buying it for herself.

Nik surveys it, cocking his head to the side. “It’s nice,” he says finally. “But it would help if you told me the occasion of where you wanted to wear it.”

“Jury duty,” she answers dismissively, folding it over her arm and eyeing another blue blouse that’d go great with her jacket.

Nik freezes behind her, and Caroline frowns, turning around to face him. “What?”

“Nothing, love. Which case are you on?”

“I'm not supposed to tell anyone, actually. Even if I did, I don’t know yet, but I do know they're taking us to Boston for a couple weeks.”

Nik nods slowly. “I see.”

Caroline narrows her eyes. “Why are you being weird?”

“I'm not,” he laughs. “Have you chosen what you're buying, then?”

Caroline hesitates, looking the two shirts in her hands over. “The red one,” she says finally. “It’ll look nice with my skirt. I just think you should check the price—”

Nik turns the label over, barely giving it a glance before handing his card over to the cashier. Caroline’s mouth drops as he takes the bill, handing her the shopping bag. “There. Do you want to go change in the dressing room? I'll wait outside.”

“Uh, I..” She’s stuttering, reddens when he smirks at her. “Yes,” she manages, whirling into the changing room and locking the door behind her.

She finds Nik outside the store when she comes out, checking his phone, typing something out. He grins when he sees her, pocketing the phone immediately. “Thank you,” she bursts out before he can say anything. “I didn’t…I never expected you to actually go through with it.”

Nik shrugs. “I did ruin your blouse, love. It was an easy fix.”

“An expensive fix,” Caroline corrects him. “Can I buy you coffee?”

Nik smirks. “Are you asking me out?”

Caroline scoffs. “I am not. I'm asking you if you want to get coffee after you so rudely spilled mine.”

“Ah, excuses,” he says breezily, tugging her towards the coffee shop. “The lengths to which you go to, sweetheart, when you could easily have me without even asking.”

She hasn’t blushed this much since ninth grade when Matt asked her to the Valentine’s dance.

“Cocky,” she replies haughtily, letting herself be led. “This is not a date, Nik. I'm not interested.”

“Keep telling yourself that, love.”

.

.

.

He's funny, she realizes, and in a way she actually gets. He gets her jokes and nods and makes remarks at the right times, meaning he's actually listening. He's ridiculously charming as well, flirting with her in between all their stories. He's witty, and smart. And it's not like he's not good-looking generally, but—

His smile.

God.

He looks so handsome when he smiles.

Is it really her fault she kisses him when he slides the last piece of his cake over to her?

Nik's eyes are dark when she pulls away, and her face reddens. "I—I'm sor—"

"Don't you dare apologize for that," Nik murmurs, surging forward to take her lips with his again, making her apology die on her tongue.

His lips are swollen when he pulls away. "Have dinner with me."

Caroline smiles. "No."

No relationships for a year. She doesn't have time for a relationship with her new job, and certainly not with a man who makes her forget every coherent thought she has when he kisses her.

He frowns. "Why?"

"It's complicated," she answers, and he doesn't press further, just pouts.

"How am I supposed to kiss someone else after this, then? You're a glorious kisser."

She snorts. "You have a memory, then."

"I'll make sure it lasts. Just two kisses, though, I feel deprived."

She grins at him over her coffee. She means it, though. Not the part about him being an idiot, the part about a relationship. She doesn't even have time to hang out with her friends lately, a boyfriend is more than she can handle.

However...

"Well," she continues, biting her lip. "That depends."

"On what?"

"If you think I'm trashy if I tell you I want to take your clothes off in the bathroom."

She pretends his smirk does nothing for her.

.

.

.

For a split-second she'd thought she'd regret this.

The thought is quickly snuffed when Nik locks the stall behind them and presses his lips to her neck.

Normally, she'd be worried about getting attached. But she’s going off to Boston soon, and she never has to see him again, so what's the harm?

“Well, you could come to dinner with me when you get back,” Nik answers her question between lazy strokes of his tongue against her clit while she grips the marble countertop hard enough to break it.

“I'm still not going out with you,” Caroline gasps out, fisting her hand in his hair.

Nik clicks his tongue. “One excellent fuck on the counter it is, then.”

Caroline sighs when he surges up to kiss her and unbuttons her blouse. “I don’t usually do this, you know.”

“What?” Nik asks between kisses as she pushes the suit jacket off his shoulders and shoves down his pants.

“Have quickies in bathrooms of coffee shops.”

Nik looks delighted. “So I'm your first, then?”

“God, you're insufferable,” she groans, pulling him by his tie. “Are you ever not annoyi—”

She’s silenced by a quick thrust of his hips when he claps a hand over her mouth to stifle her moan.

.

.

.

“How’s the hotel?” Bonnie asks her as she’s getting dressed the next day.

“It’s nice.” Caroline runs a brush through her hair, frowning when the back puffs up. “I have to be at the courthouse in an hour. Luckily it’s only twenty minutes away. I might grab a coffee or something.”

“Well, good luck. Have fun jury-ing.”

“That’s not a word.”

“I'm going to go mess up your pots and pans now. Bye!”

Caroline mutters something unflattering under her breath, then grabs her purse and her room key, walking out the door. Stupid jury duty. She’s definitely going to be ranting at Bonnie when she gets home. Her best friend has the patience of a saint, she’d handle it.

Her cab’s late, predictably, but she reaches the courthouse with ten minutes to spare. She finds the courtroom quickly, and takes her seat just in time to see the judge sit down.

“All rise,” the judge drones, and everyone stands up, the defendant nervously looking at the jury when the bailiff swears them in. “Department one of the superior court is now in session, please be seated. The court calls to order Case 12389A. Prosecutor, opening statement, if you will.”

“Yes, your Honour,” says a voice from the far end, and Caroline’s brain stutters to a stop when she sees Nik stand up, his hands in the pockets of his suit.

Her eyes widen comically and she lets out a squeak, clapping her hand over her mouth. The juror next to her sends her a concerned look, which she brushes off. Nik’s still talking, but she’s not even paying attention. She’s on the jury on his case? Is this even ethical?

He doesn’t notice her, his eyes fixed on the judge, but Caroline’s fuming.

She’s going to kill him. She’d mentioned she’d be going to Boston for jury duty. Had it just conveniently slipped his mind to inform her that he was a lawyer who might be on the case she was on?

Maybe it’d be better, though. He’s probably forgotten her by now.

Nik sits back down, done with his opening statement, and with a quick sweep of the room, sends her a wink.

Her mouth actually drops.

“Potential juror thirteen.” A stern voice snaps her out of her trance to see the defence glaring at her. “Is there a problem?”

Caroline closes her mouth, gritting her teeth. “I have a conflict of interest.”

“By what—”

“It’s a personal—”

“Your Honour—”

The judge doesn’t even bat an eye. “Potential juror thirteen, you're dismissed.”

Well, at least something she’d seen on TV was true. Americans were really terrible about jury duty.

She storms out, ignoring the way Nik’s eyes twinkled when he laughed silently at her fit. Oh, she’s going to kill him. The nerve of him.

The fact that the guard outside tells her she can't leave the hotel they’ve been sequestered in because she was part of the case for however a short time doesn’t help her mood.

Neither does the knock at her door that night, which reveals the prosecutor himself, grinning at her, flashing her his dimples.

“Hello, love,” Nik smiles. “How about that dinner now?”

She slams the door in his face.

He wins her over eventually.

A year later.

#caroline forbes #klaus mikaelson #klaroline drabbles #klaroline

[forestdeath1]

sorry i am the last anon i meant *do you think sirius has emotional intelligence 😅😅😅

Haha, yes, that question was very weird lol

Okay, let's start with the definition.

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to manage both your own emotions and understand the emotions of those around you. There are five key elements to EI: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, and social skills.

Sirius has very good self-regulation. When people say he can’t control himself, come on, he controls himself incredibly well for someone who’s been through hell in his life! 12 years in Azkaban! Sirius has remarkable self-regulation and willpower! Yes, he’s overconfident, especially in his youth, but his self-regulation and motivation are strong.

He’s also good with self-awareness and social skills. He has a great understanding of boundaries. And he was quite popular at school. He definitely doesn’t try to be a pleasant person, but people still find him appealing. I think he knows how to communicate respectfully when he’s not trying to demean.

As for empathy... He very well understands how his words can hurt, he clearly sees people’s weaknesses and hits right there. This requires understanding another person’s emotions. He also knows how to love, care, and is very respectful even towards animals.

However, young Sirius is quite cruel. It seems that while he understands everything well, he lacks compassion for those he doesn’t respect much. This partly stems from his youthful arrogance, because after Azkaban, he tones down his pride and interacts with people much more politely than he did at school.

It's hard for me to call him very empathetic, but at the same time, I can't call him unempathetic. (At the same time, Remus is usually called very empathetic, but Remus also has issues with empathy).

Moreover, Sirius, and all the Marauders, were outsmarted by Peter. Sirius, because of his arrogance, lack of deep respect for Peter, but likely forming an attachment to him as "the weakest" (probably akin to how he related to animals), who was always there and so on, couldn’t imagine that Peter might and was ready to betray James. He failed to see that Peter's adoration wasn’t that sincere. Meanwhile, he suspected Remus, again, because he simply respected Remus more, considering him more capable, more competent, possessing agency.

That is, Sirius deprived Peter of agency, considering him an attachment to James, always there, loyal and devoted.

Peter turned out to be more cunning in this regard and knew how to manipulate. As often happens, it's exactly such people who can worm their way into trust because they know how to present themselves as poor and miserable, trying every time to find a warmer and softer spot to settle into. Peter is an utterly despicable character with not an ounce of dignity or respect for himself or others.

So... Yes, according to all the aspects, Sirius had high emotional intelligence, but empathy wasn't his strongest suit.

#sirius black meta #sirius black

[ineed-to-sleep]

Well you see they're just very good friends

#vtm #vtmb #vampire the masquerade #oc.pepper #oc.vince #technically not their first kiss but kind of their first kiss #first fr fr kiss #their actual first kiss is during italian dinner to keep up appearences bc they're posing as a couple #but their first like 'I am kissing you bc I want to and btw I'm in love w you' kiss is in the luckee star #after pepper talks to nines #it's funny to me bc they weren't in the best of terms before this #vince was kinda mad at pepper bc she almost bloodbound him while frenzied and she'd been frenzying on purpose and just generally #being rlly irresponsible #she's sorry tho. she's very very sorry and trying to do better #but like he just puts that aside bc of the bloodhunt and how worried he is abt her #and he shows up and they have a good talk and the feelings come out and etc etc and then kiss #kiss kiss smooch smooch. they love each other v much #vincent is still worried abt pepper's behavior but what can he do. she's his problematic fave 🤷🏻‍♀️ #ship: viper #sleepyscribble