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blackmissfrizzle · 4 years

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City Boy and His Country Girl

Characters: Erik x black!reader

Summary: Erik promises to help the reader navigate New York.

Request: "Country Girl goes to New York and meets a tough guy New Yorker who teaches her the ropes and then they get together"

Requested by @nervouspetsonanime

With a lot on your mind, you set your purse down on the table and went to refill your drink. The stress of the workday was getting to you and you were only midway through it. Before you went back to work you had to figure out a way to deal with some of your shady coworkers.

Making your way back to your booth, you saw two men standing there arguing. You were hesitant to go back and was about to find a new seat to avoid the scene but then you remembered your purse.

“Man, I’m telling you put that shit back or we gonna have a real problem here,” you heard, getting closer to the two.

“How about you mind your business?” The other guy asked, moving his arm behind his back. That’s when you noticed he had your purse in his hand. The dread head was trying to get this thief to put down your purse.

Noticing movement near him, your savior turned to you. Pointing to your bag, he asked, “Aye, lil mama is that your bag?”

Your mind short-circuited for a moment because of this man. He was so damn sexy. Tall, dark, and thick just like you liked em. He sorta reminded you of the guys back home except for the Oakland accent.

Finally, gathering your bearings you answered the man. “Yeah, that’s my bag and I don’t know why it’s in his hand.”

The Good Samaritan stared down the potential thief and pulled up his shirt to reveal his gun and v-cut you couldn’t keep your eyes off of. “You got 10 seconds to figure out if that purse is worth a hospital bill.”

Dropping your purse like a hot potato, the thief handed you your purse and ran out the restaurant. He wasn’t as tough as he thought.

“Next time don’t be leaving your shit hanging around.” The asshole told you before leaving.

Even though he was a little rude, you didn’t want him to leave. To stop him, you tried wrapping your hand around his bicep, but you were only able to cuff half of it. “At least let me buy you lunch as a thank you.”

He looked down at your hand and back to you. Quickly, you removed it, sensing he didn’t like being touched. “All right lil mama.”

His big body slid into the booth and you followed his suit. Stretching his hand across he introduced himself. “I’m Erik.”

“Y/N.” You took his hand to shake and his grip was tight, and you were thoroughly impressed. Your daddy always said you could tell a lot about a man by his handshake, especially when it was with a woman. A firm handshake with a woman said the man respected you, saw you as his equal.

“So, Y/N why you leaving your stuff where just any ole body can steal yo shit?” Erik took a sip of his drink and eyed you curiously.

Erik’s gaze made you hot and nervous. You had to train your eyes to look anywhere but him just to speak. “Well it wouldn’t have happened back at home and also my mind was elsewhere.”

The waitress brought both of your meals and y’all laughed at the identical plates, bacon cheeseburger with a side of onion rings.

“Ok then, what had you all messed up that almost got you robbed?”

Deciding you’ll probably never see this man again, you told Erik your office drama. “Basically, I’m the boss’ new favorite and my coworkers can’t stand it. God, sometimes I wish Tony Stark never found out about me.”

“Word? You work for Stark?” Erik raised an eyebrow, beginning to become more intrigued with this southern belle. He met Stark plenty of times before and respected his work as a scientist but couldn’t understand how someone could put up with him for hours on end.

“Yes sir,” you replied, making Erik shift in his seat at the mention of you using such a formal name for him. “My mentor who’s an old college buddy of Mr. Stark’s, sent my business management assignment to him and then the next morning, Mr. Stark was on my daddy’s porch offering me a job.”

Erik chuckled and stretched his fist out for you to dap him. He was proud of you, a black woman seemingly from a small town, working for the most renowned business mogul. “Oh, shit! That’s how you do it. Lemme guess your co-workers lack melanin?”

“Yes! And I really tried to work with them, but they hate my guts for whatever reason. But they have no problem taking credit for my ideas.” That’s why you were in a frenzy now. Cody (which btw was such a typical douchebag white boy name) pitched your idea of throwing a big gala to impress a fellow businessman for a potential partnership as his own to Mr. Stark and Ms. Potts. Then guess who he expected to do all the work? You, of course!

Finally getting the chance to vent felt good, so poor Erik had to hear all your frustrations. “And then don’t get me started on this stupid city. First off, people are rude! No one knows how to say excuse me and when I call someone ma’am, they look at me like I just called her a bitch. Second, rent is expensive! Thank you to sweet baby Jesus, for Mr. Stark hiring me, because I wouldn’t be able to afford living here. Do you know what kind of house I could buy back in Texas?”

Erik was amused at your rant. He enjoyed seeing you get all this passionate despite only knowing you for half an hour, so he decided to entertain you. “No, what kind?”

“A big ass house! Probably a ranch with all the damn animals already on it. And then this city has no good bbq. How is a girl suppose to live without some brisket!?”

Done with your rant, you took a bite on your burger and realized you just dumped your whole life story on a man who was basically a stranger. “I’m sorry, you had to hear all that. It just whenever I vent to my friends back home, they tell me I’m not appreciating this opportunity and I can’t tell my mama and daddy, because I’m paying their bills and I don’t want them to feel guilty.” Catching yourself offering up more information, you slapped your forehead. “Oh, there I go again oversharing. I’m sorry.”

Erik somewhat understood your situation. Adjusting to life in Wakanda was a culture shock and he had to figure out how to navigate in his father’s homeland. Grabbing the hand that hit your forehead, Erik massage it, focusing on the knuckles and the spaces between the fingers. “Nah, you good ma. But I do know what you need to do.”

“And what’s that,” you asked, leaned back amused.

“You need to toughen up, Texas.” Erik advised you.

Leaning on your elbows, you teased Erik with your own nickname. “Oh, really now? And how’s that gonna happen, Oakland?”

Immediately on the defense, scared that you were someone from his past, Erik asked, “How do you know I’m from Oakland?”

“Calm down, cowboy,” you patted his forearm to soothe him. “Your accent is a dead giveaway. You sound just like Marshawn Lynch.”

Erik kissed his teeth and crossed his arms. He liked Marshawn, even respected him, but when you mentioned him with practically heart eyes Marshawn became public enemy number 1. “That nigga a’ight. Anyway, imma toughen you up. Teach you how to survive these mean streets of New York and how to deal with these colonizers.”

Your eyebrows furrowed and you repeated Erik, “Colonizers?”

“White people,” he said as if he should understand his lingo.

“Oh okay, what a weird insult, but when do we start?” you asked anxiously, you were excited at the chance to spend more time with this diamond in the rough man.

“This weekend?” Erik tried his best to keep his cool, but he was so excited to see this country girl as soon as possible. He would’ve asked for tomorrow, but he didn’t want to come off clingy and he had too much work to do at the Outreach and Y/N would’ve been a major distraction.

Making yourself be still and hide your excitement, you replied, “That’s perfect. I had no plans but to do my laundry and catch up on some Netflix.”

Erik bit back a smile. “Cool. I gotta get back to the office, lil mama. Give me your number and you’ll hear from me very soon.”

You and Erik exchanged numbers. While you were putting your number in his phone, you didn’t notice Erik slyly pay the waitress for your meals. When you both were done exchanging numbers, you said your goodbyes and then Erik left, making you already crave his presence.

“Excuse me, miss, can I get the check?” You flagged down the waitress, digging into your purse for your wallet.

“Oh, your friend paid for it already. He said you had enough troubles today and that you didn’t need to worry about paying for him.” The young lady walked away and started cleaning your table as you stood there dumbfounded. Erik was a man full of surprises and you couldn’t wait to find out more.

Tagging: @twistedcharismaaa @marvelmaree @ladydragonpurplefire @l-auteuse @thehomierobbstark @titty-teetee @nerd-lovely @nervouspetsonanime @soufcakmistress @chaneajoyyy

#black!reader #erik stevens #erik stevens x reader #erik stevens x black!reader #erik x black!reader #erik x reader #killmonger x reader #killmonger x black!reader #erik killmonger #erik killmonger x reader #erik killmonger x black!reader #erik stevens fanfiction #marvel #marvel fanfiction #black panther fandom #black panther fanfiction #frizzlesfic #frizzlefic #city boy and his country girl series

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hedgefairy · 3 years

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Well hello there. While I'm waiting for that breeches video I've been talking about to finally upload, here's

Bridgerton, Episode 4

Phew, half time!

If you've missed the other ones, the tag is Bridgerbore, btw.

Okay, so we start of with Dukey who's going home-ish because drama and heartbreak in the last episode. Stop pretending, nobody takes your pouting seriously! We all know it's twu wuv!

Erm. So, I know, I'm white and this is a delicate matter, but I gotta say I'm not super happy about the whole POC-justifying explanation here. I'd much rather have no explanation at all, it worked perfectly well in Merlin, and this is just as much historically inspired fantasy just with less magic, which I'm honestly quite upset about. I'd be far more okayer with the costumes and overall ugh-ness if there was magic.

But honestly, I'm not a fan of shoehorning that explanation in (it doesn't seem to come up in the books, either, where everyone is basically a baguette in terms of whiteness). The fact that the implications aren't discussed any further makes it even worse. We're talking about the British empire here, and while POC are apparently part of the society (but with more pressure, which... no, this is not how nobility works) the wealth and luxury of this age still stems from the exploitation of POC everywhere else. How isn't there a revolution going on? How is this not talked about? From all I see, Bridgerton is a fluffy, pastel, nice alternate version of the 1800s, and I don't get why anyone would put politics in there instead of just doing what TV tropes refers to as "colourblind casting" and be done with it. Either you do the alternate history thing thoroughly, or you just cast people for being pretty (and maybe good actors) instead of the idea the audience might have about a character's skin colour and have weird costumes and just roll with it.

Also the Queen's marriage seems to suck. I would have liked a deeper, more heartbreaking connection between George III and her, especially because I saw how my Grandmother suffered when she gradually lost my Grandfather to dementia, and it would have been a scene where we could see Charlotte as a person rather than a weird plot device in tafetta and bling, but no, she just seems as annoyed and bored and snappish as ever.

This is getting far too serious. Where's the snark?

We get some Tchaikovsky in the background, which is weird, tbh. Yes, I'm perfectly fine with them covering Top 40s hits and using waltzes from the 1950s, but I draw the line at something from the second half of the 19th century! It's not right! It screams its time of origin all over the place, and even worse, most of the characters would probably actually get to hear it later in their lives, it's not a decent anachronism, it just feels like bad research! This is serious business!

No really, where's the snark?

Oooh, I get it now. That was when I was really, really done with bingeing this show. Yes, I tried to get through as much of it as possible in one sitting. The notes read, in very shaky handwriting

I cannot possibly take more than that

in one day

, so let's continue a few days later when I felt like I could muster the courage to face it again.

So yes, I'm pretty sure this waltz is to young for this show.

Aww, look at that, flirting over cheese! I also like that one of the Featherington girls (I can't really tell the non-Pennys apart) has a suitor, they deserve nice things, too.

The musicians are a mood.

WTF with the hair and the strass. We don't like the strass. Make it go away.

I love Prince Freddy. The poor boy. It's doomed from the start!

Ah, Dukey (also at the ball, even though he was whining about things earlier) gets a heartbeat in the background, because twu wuv.

Middle Bridgerbro goes and meets with the Bohéme. I want more of that! That's finally interesting! That's my people! There's a cool bohemian lady with a pretty dress! People look interesting! Aaaah!

There's a random 18th century burlesque singer at this Regency ball, we need to talk about this. Oooh, it's Opera Girl! Cue Lord B turning into even more of an idiot while Ma Bridgerton tries to hook him up otherwise.

Of course Philippa (that's one of the Featherington Girls) can't possibly have anything nice. Thanks, Dad. You don't get to marry someone you like, that's the people across the street's thing! (by which I of course mean the Bridgertons, just in case anyone forgot the location layout here.)

Eloise is being weird to the housekeeper.

"Are you not supposed to be the smart one", the housekeeper retorts and I'm feeling it, followed by a "WTH, hero" about how servants are too busy to be Gossip Girl, you privileged prat. I think I actually snorted.

Penny gossips with Ducktail Colin, but he's more interested in Cousin, whose dress looks like it was made from the cheap curtains my ex best friend had in his first semester at uni, and God, I hate Daphne's kerchief.

Poor Prince Freddie is trying to propose to Protagonis Girl but of course there's Dukey in the background so she simply must run outside as dramatically as possible where he can find her as she equally dramatically rips the necklace Freddie gave her from her milky white throat. P&P-ish banter ensues. Yawn.

Dukey: * broods *

Daphne: * dramatically exits *

Dukey: * romantically follows her*, and oooh, snogging ensues, oooooh, instant second base, but Bridgerbro the Eldest (known also as Lord B) intervenes.

Lord B: "Marry her!"

Dukey: "I can't!"

Lord B: "Bitch!"

Dukey: "I can't!"

Lord B: "I want satisfaction!"

Me: "Don't we all"

Daphne: "You'd rather die than marry me?!"

(the fuck with her hair)

Middle Bridgerbro is still at the Bohéme-party, and still draws (naked people!). Gay vibes ensue, it's cute. This is Netflix after all, and it took four episodes to get some LGBTQ+ representation!

The Featherington's housekeeper looks a lot like O'Brien from Downton.

Cousin tells Penny about what a cutie Ducktail Colin is, also Penny's "night gown" is really cute (it's not a night gown. She's still wearing stays. It's also the only thing in the whole series that fits her well so far). Penny is super upset but gets interrupted by a hyperfocused Eloise. They fight, and Penny goes on about being mature and not being a "pretty Bridgerton", and that Eloise wouldn't understand. I get her, though, and really, having a perfect family and a "bad" family is such lazy writing.

Somber blah blah between Lord B and Daphne happens and Middle Bridgerbro gets dragged into it. He's informed that his life is pretty much over either way (either way being Lord B dying or being exiled for killing Dukey in the scheduled duel) because his oder bro basically just wants out of his duties. Sucks to be him.

Boxing Bro has to host a frustrated, possibly blueballed Dukey and offers himself up as a second for the duel.

Lord B goes and pleads with Opera Girl to get back with him (doooooon't) because of his little duelling plot and of course intercourse ensues. Girl, where's your self-respect?

Lord F comes into his dark study (we haven't seen much of him yet overall, he probably was too busy gambling) and hark, there's Lady F like the mafia boss I feel she should be, wo berates him about said gambling and that they're broke and how much he sucks. He starts crying, thumbs up for male vulnerability!, but it's kinda played for laughs via her awkward patting of him. Because of course (and I bet the late Daddy Bridgerton would never have lost his composure like that, but he didn't gamble, either, and these are the Featheringtons)

Lord B leaves Opera Girl for THE DUEL (I feel like this almost deserves a ™ by now).

We get gallopping horses! The drama! The panache! Daphne asks Ducktail Colin where it's going down because she wants to stop them, insert pandering feminist ranting about her choosing her own life but I don't really feel it and I wonde where her bangs go when she sleeps because her hair looks so different all of a sudden.

Lord B makes Middle Bridgerbro promise to care for Opera Girl in case he dies.

More gallopping horses! Daphne and her billowing cloak are pretty epic, to be honest, and there's Ducktail Colin on her heels. It's basically a family outing now!

Ugh, I like the seconds in this duel so much more. They should just off and go for a pint or something and leave Lord B and Dukey to their misery.

Duelling protocol ensues. Ten steps, blah blah, nice camera work, though.

Daphne full on rides into her brother's bullet, but she's fine (it would have been so dramatic, can you imagine? It would have been interesting!).

Oh no, they were seen (by her romantic rival, back when they had the dramatic make-outery in the park at the ball after the botched proposal. Sorry, Cressida is such a much better name than Daaaaphneeee. I have a RPG character called Cressida, I might be biased.), she's ruined if they don't marry!. and so she is basically emotionally blackmailing him into marrying her. But he can "never give [her] children!", and goes on how she deserves a household full of love like her family home because the Bridgertons are such a perfect family. God, they all annoy me so much.

Daphne ends the duel by saying that the Duke and her are to be married, with a pained facial expression, no less. I think I just wanna throw a pie in her face or something.

And that concludes Episode 4. That was a long one! Only four more to go! So this is

To be Continued!

Thank you for making it this far with me!

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fandom-queenliness · 5 years

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*Spoilers* Oni-Chan

Why just why. I have so many issues with this so I’m doing it how anyone would. A full-length essay dissecting everything I can from the subtitles.

Be aware, I am not very pro-Love Square, and have a large number of problems with the shows writing/Adrien and his Nice Guy/Passive behaviour in general.

Essay/salt incoming, you have been warned. Read at your own peril.

For context, in previous episodes, Adrien has had little to no problem with Lila lying and has even gone out of his way so that she may continue lying. Kagami had about zero romantic interest in Adrien upon her first appearance in Riposte, which is, in my opinion, her truest representation. Marinette has been told to not be so jealous of Adrien multiple times, but the narrative has made it clear she has no control of her feelings when it comes to him. All of Adrien’s love interests (Chloe, Kagami, Lila, Marinette) generally all hate each other, are vindictive, cruel, petty and jealous. Adrien does literally nothing to stop them.

First of all, they expect us to believe that Kagami is in love with the limp noddle that is Adrien? Get out. Just get out. In Riposte, I believe she had about no interest in him. She came here to fence and by gods was she going to fence. But Nooooooooo, Adrien just had to have another love interest, and no girl can be without someone to make her complete. What utter bullshit. I am so mad right now.

Second, I’m glad that he’s finally taking a stand against Lila (though, still in a passive way. I’ll take what I can get). He’s cut her off, he’s yelled at her, scolded her. Now we just need him helping Mari taking her down, acknowledging his flaws, trying to improve himself, all while learning about boundaries and taking no for an answer. What a wonderful development of his character, Adrien salt is non-existent, the show is saved, the love square is trending. Oh wait, it is physically impossible for the writers to have Adrien improve because “he’s already perfect”. Ugh.

Third, what a shitty reason to get akumatised. (I love Kagami btw). I mean, yeah, she can be mad, but really, over a guy. A guy who has already stated he likes another girl. (Chat had a good point, Lila and Kagami should have had Adrien’s input on his feelings instead of a game of tag around the city, but honestly does Chat even think of LB’s feelings? Does anyone, ever? A post for another day). But really a better reason could have been Kagami learning of Lila’s lying and Adrien’s passive-fucking-ness and how poorly it has affected Marinette, who Kagami was open to building a friendship with in Riposte. She could have learned what happened and felt betrayed because Adrien was not who she thought he was, and she becomes akumatised to seek revenge for Marinette and to confront Adrien without him being pulled away by his schedule. Bam we have character development and Adrien getting called out on his flaws, plus Marinette has someone standing up for her. So much better immediately. (Sidenote: Kagami’s whole speech about Adrien sucked ass I can’t believe a word of it. Just more of Astruc pushing perfect sunshine boy upon us.)

Fourth, honestly fuck how Marinette behaved in the first half. I love my girl, she is awesome, but I am tired of her being so over the top and possessive of Adrien. Like, we get it, she likes him, but no girl - especially no girl who is as mature as the narrative is portraying her as - is going to stalk her crush and a girl all the way to his house. She has been told/told herself to stop being jealous in multiple episodes, but it’s undone by the next. Fuck that. Also, let her have some character outside of Adrien because honestly, I am sick and tired of him and how Marinette is made to act around him. So much of her development is around him and it’s not a good message for the age demographic this show is targeted at. It’s just terrible honestly.

Fifth, KAGAMI CUT DOWN A TREE AND IT WAS AWESOME. SHE’S SO STRONG, I LOVE HER. *Swoons*

Sixth, Lila had some good lies. Fucking finally. It was about time. I was worried she was incapable. And some back story on her? Wonderful, personally I can’t find an absent mother as a good excuse because the mother clearly loves her dearly but it’s nice, nonetheless. And Lila manipulating Oni-Chan? Great, just so glad that I can actually start seeing her as a threat to something other than the Love Square in canon. And that bit where Gabriel was clearly seeing her as a weapon/ally was like water in a desert, the plot is moving, hussah. God it was refreshing but we all know it won’t last. C’est la vie.

Seventh, loved the fireman thing. Him helping Mari and LB? Adorable. Hated the reason why he helped Marinette, but it was cute how he comforted her. (Honestly I kinda wanted him to tell Mari if this guy was bothering her so much maybe she should let him go. Idk I’m just so fucking tired man). He can be added to the Marinette protection squad I love how he’s all about the safety.

Eight, notice how Chat was whining about how no one fights over him. Are we really going there? Really. I just, Jesus. The boy is a model, famous, rich, and has girls and guys fawning over him as Adrien enough, which he clearly does not appreciate. Does he really want that as Chat, or does he just girls he can use to make Ladybug jealous, like dolls to be discarded when he is done? A question for another day.

Ninth, Tikki finally gives Marinette some good advice but it’s too late and I’m already cringing over the whole trash bin thing. I just—*sigh*

Tenth, Kagami’s costume? Hurts my eyes. The potential was there but it was wasted. I’m so sorry that Hawkbitch forced my girl to wear that. My poor sword lesbian.

Eleventh, Adrien continues to be a passive bitch, letting Lila sneak around him room, ignoring Plagg’s warnings, and only getting truly upset when Lila manipulated him into leaving LB. I’m mad about that too, because like, sure he thought she was hurt, but couldn’t he have just set her down on a rooftop somewhere safe instead of the whole hospital bit? Btw, I love fireman guy seeing through Lila’s shit. “This is what you get for now wearing kneepads”. He is so concerned for safety. My boy.

Twelfth, LB using Oni-Chan’s powers against her was beautiful. We stan a queen. So smart, so brave, I love her.

Thirteenth, they really made Kagami idolise that fucking rose Adrien gave her. The rose Adrien originally gave LB, the rose he gave her before asking her out on a terrible date. The terrible date where he invited another girl, payed more attention to said other girl, and then made it clear to Kagami that he was using her as a rebound and he was still not over the girl who rejected him. They are really trying to make us believe Kagami the Queen loves this guy? Really?

Fourteenth, the horn was hilarious. I wish she was stuck with it. Or at least LB video Lila lying and her horn growing. It was a beautiful thing.

Fifteen I don’t get the whole “Chat ignores the Bien-Joué from LB to help Kagami up is Bad and Terrible”. Like, I hate the implications and subtext behind it. And the way LB deflated over it. It was unnecessary and jsut there to stir up trouble. Just… fuck that.

Sixteenth, LB abandoning Lila to walk home was wonderful. I wish Mari was allowed to be like that outside of the mask and not get demonised for it.

Seventeenth, Alya asking Mari why she’s not “keeping an eye” on Adrien and Lila and Marinette saying she “trusts” Adrien with Lila is weird for me. Cause it’s like she was saying it like she was Adrien’s girlfriend and was trusting him not to cheat. It was like she was already laying claim to a guy that she can barely talk to. In fact, they didn’t talk at all in this ep. Mari and Juleka had more exchanges than her and Adrien. Pshh.

Eighteenth, Gabriel is a piece of shit. Not letting his son have friends. No wonder he’s like this. Plus making a deal with the bitch who feels so entitled to Adrien is a dick move. Fuck Gabriel and his candy cane tie.

Nineteenth, Lila manipulated Natalie. What the shit. I’m impressed. I’m loving this whole thing. I’m really excited for Lila working with Hawkbitch. It’s going to be either really good or bad as shit. I am worried for Adrien. Just because I don’t like how he’s being portrayed doesn’t mean he should suffer at the hands of Lila. Also her mirroring Gabriel’s want to shield his son is kinda creepy and possessive. Ew.

Twenty, Adrien: “Lila, you can count on me, unless you hurt the people I love”. Um, how about Marinette? I get you don’t love her romantically but what about your good friend??? Or do you just not care about her?? Throwback to Chameleon where Adrien decided keeping Lila from being akumatised mattered less than the truth and Marinette’s feelings. Yeah, he’s such a great role model and such a wise choice for a love interest.

As you can see from the evidence, this episode sucked. Kagami and Marinette deserve better (preferably each other) and not the limp blond pasta sucker that is Adrien Agreste. Very sorry if you’re feeling offended by this post, feel free to rant and complain about it and me.

#mlb spoilders #miraculous ladybug #mlb #oni chan #adrien salt #mlb salt #oni chan salt #kagaminette #marigami #kaganette #salt #feel free to @ me #i sleep now #Marinette deserves better #adrien agreste #marinette dupain cheng #lila rossi #gabriel agreste

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athleisure-aesthetic · 7 years

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This is a long post because I went on a few rants, but there are workouts and stuff in there, I promise ;) stay tuned for commentary on vanity sizing and non-scale victories!

April 13 Thursday’s workout was super speedy. Legs and a quick stretching NTC workout. I meant to do curtsy lunges to finish it out, but I was crunched for time and my legs were already burning from the seasaw lunges and step-ups because my bench was higher than a normal one would be. I always get kind of frustrated when my NTC workout ends up being a lowkey stretching one, because I use it to replace cardio for the day. I’m starting to think I should either do more than one or just do cardio anyway. At least I got in a nice half hour walk at lunch; it was much colder than I was expecting since the rest of this week has been so nice! Still pretty out tho. And my skull shirt is badass. The end.

Went to Whole Foods with Ani when I got home to get some goodies for the weekend, and really stuck to my list (which I was proud of, bc that store is a literal TRAP) which included chocolate milk as a post-workout fuel… ASK ME HOW HYPE I AM TO START DRINKING CHOCO MILK AGAIN!!! (very. obviously.) Also started growing a mini protein bar collection because now I’m terrified of not properly fueling post-workout, so now I’m going to have very little excuse not to, since these babies are extremely portable. Just throw one in ya workout bag, and there you go. Don’t even have to remember to get it from my lunch box. I’m finally trying RXBAR and a few Quest Bar flavors (shoutout to @runningwhilenotdying for the suggestion, ty girl!) for now, in addition to the Luna Protein bars I still have. Still going to have to try a few to find out which works best for me.

Legs / butt workout 3x each 15 reps weighted glute bridges, 10# 15 reps goblet squats, 10# 20 reps step ups, alt. sides, 10# 20 reps seasaw lunges, alt. sides 15 reps weighted lying leg curls, 6# 40 s wall sits 10 reps burpee + high jump alternating leg swing stretches instead of curtsy lunges bc I’m a wimpy bitch lol

Listening to: “Under You” by Nick Jonas

April 14 Today is the day John Mayer’s full album is out, something I realized halfway through Friday morning while working from home, so I blasted the FUCK out of it in my apartment and haven’t stopped listening since. Ani took the day off, so it was just me at home designing, which is literally what I wish every work day of my life could be. Making my own schedule, eating and working out whenever I want and not having to worry about when I’m going to finish, not having to talk to people lol.

I decided to workout around 11ish and had to do arms / upper body without weights, which was a bit challenging considering my weak wrists and lack of free weights. BUT I made it, and my wrists weren’t ded afterwards, so I guess I’m building up some strength? Plus check out my schweaty knees, aren’t they purty? It was a dec workout, so hype it. HOWEVER, in the middle of my last set, this awful ringing started in my apartment, which I identified as the fire alarm after panicking for like 2 seconds. Then there was this weirdo announcement in our hallway as if we were in a damn dorm, saying to evacuate asap so I was like o fuck ok let me get my things. Ran outside with my purse and a jacket, ran into the woman who legit hates me and Ani for being loud on the weekend two whole times (fuck her tho it was a Friday and Saturday at like 11pm get your panties out of your ass amirite) and she was like idk what’s going on I’m probably not going downstairs. I was like ????? um if there’s a fire I’m not dying so bye. So I ran down 8 flights of stairs to find no one in the lobby. Sick. It was a false. Alarm. Bc they’re doing construction right in front of the elevators. Motherfuckers. So I had to go back up 8 flights of stairs once I got the approval from the doorman. Thx for the cardio break, how’d you know I needed that? 🙄 Finished my set, worked for a bit longer, then showered and decided I was done working for the day lol.

It was pay day and I was bored so I kinda went a little nuts on a shopping trip. As usual, I mostly bought athleisure, buuuuuuuuuuut there are some significant things about this shopping trip that I must share.

1: I willingly purchased two pairs of athletic shorts. I do not wear anything but leggings to workout in, because I hate the way my legs look, and I usually feel much more mobile and flexible in leggings, even if it’s like 90 degrees out and July. But I tried on two pairs of black shorts, and could actually see myself not only wearing them like to bed, but like… doing active things in them, and being ok with seeing my legs. First #NONSCALEVICTORY o the day.

2: I not only willingly tried on a one piece bathing suit, I tried on two, AND I purchased one. Every person alive knows too well the personal torture of trying on bathing suits, especially in dressing rooms that have awful fluorescent lighting that does not flatter anyone. But for some reason I was in a good mood about my bod (perhaps after the shorts win), so I grabbed two suits and said to myself, fuck it, don’t feel bad about yourself, but do not get your hopes up. This could go great, or it could not. Don’t let this be a reflection of how hard you’ve been working. It might just not fit, that’s not your fault. BUT THEY BOTH FIT REALLY DECENTLY OK. The one was like bright red and v scandalous and tbh I did not have the boobs to fill out that sucker. So despite it fitting ok, I couldn’t go with it. But the other was stripey and rouchey and pretty comfortable, so I was like welp. I need at least one suit for the summer, and can’t picture myself using any of the ones from last summer, and I don’t feel like total crap in this. So. I bought it!

3: I purchased at least one thing of every size (S, M, L, and XL), which proves that sizing is fake and literally doesn’t fucking matter. I like all my tops a little baggy and all of my bottoms tight (except those shorts I ended up getting, but who knew I would even buy shorts…). That’s just my personal preference style-wise. I went to four different stores, and ended up getting clothing that fit me, but when I was ripping the tags off when I got home, I noticed that all the sizes were different. I bought a shirt from Uniqlo (AMAZING STORE, btw, never been before today) that was a size small, which is something I haven’t done in like literally maybe 7-8 years. I also bought a cropped sweatshirt from Marshall’s in XL, even though I thought it was a large when I bought it. Either way, it’s not like my body morphed mid-shopping trip. I was the same size all day, but the stores decided I was all over the place. This just makes me a, hate the fashion industry for forcing this imaginary 00 system and ideals of size-shaming on us, but also b, feel better about myself because I know that I can’t be reliant on just being one size. I used to think of my weightloss in terms of pants sizes. Like last Friday when I was wearing actual pants, they were 12s. But like. A 12 at one store could be a 16 at another, or an 8. I used to say, oh I just want to be down to a consistent 8. That would be the perfect amount of weight to lose. If I get there, I’ll know that I’m good. But I’m really starting to see that that number and that size doesn’t exist. There is no universe in which an 8 at every store will fit the same. So judging yourself on a system that’s literally impossible to fit into is just a recipe for hurt and shame. So now I’m just gonna grab any size that looks like it’ll fit. It’s still not fun to see a higher number, but that’s going to be a mindset I have to get myself out of, and this post is proof that it doesn’t matter. I want to base my happiness with my fitness on phyiscal progress: what I can DO with my body, not just how it looks in the clothes I inevitably have to wear. But today, for a few reasons, I felt really good, and I’m proud to have seen not only one, but a few non-scale wins. Hype it the FUCK up.

Whew. That was a lot, sorry. I almost feel like a doing a ~haul~ like I’m on some fashion youtube channel, I bought so many fun things. But whatever, I doubt anyone cares about that except me lolol.

Honestly sometimes I think I just like to buy some things because I’m happy they fit me, not because I need them or are in love with them. Is that weird? I feel like I’m a pretty specific shape (very short and curvy, but not curvy everywhere), so when I find something I actually think fits me, I usually just say, yeah I’ll wear this. I definitely am spending too much money that way, but it’s nice to feel like a lot of things are fitting me well for once.

Arms / upper body workout 3x each 20 reps shoulder taps, alt. sides 10 reps pushups 20 reps walk outs + twist, alt. sides 10 reps tricep dips 50 reps arm circles forward 50 reps arm circles backward 20 reps lat pull downs + shoulder squeeze 35s, 40s, 45s plank 10 reps decline push ups 10 reps burpee + high jump + 5 jumping jacks PLUS 8 flights of stairs when my fucking fire alarm went off and the elevator didn’t work 🙃

Listening to: “Burlesque” by Christina Aguilera OR the Voices in Your Head a cappella version, both are fun

April 15 I was hella nervous for my run today; 6 miles seemed like a lot to me, and after last week’s long run on the treadmill, it had been a while since I’d done a long one outside. The last time I finished a long run outside, I felt like death. So this time I wanted to be really prepared; I read some articles and youtube videos on how to run longer without like dying, and made sure to focus on my breathing and warmup. Once I left my apartment, I didn’t start my timed run for about 10ish minutes but still ran slow to get my legs ready. Then I did some of the moves from the videos, and set off. Today I went towards the art museum and Kelly Drive for the first time, which was definitely busy for a Saturday morning, but it was kinda gray out and mid-50s which is like perfect running weather. I felt really good for like literally the whole run, and I couldn’t tell if it was the new place, good music, or what, but I was surprised at how quickly the miles came and went. I stopped at 4.56 miles to take the picture in front of the art museum, walked briskly up the hill to the building, then ran the rest of the way on the rest of the Schuykill River Trail and back towards home. I finished a little ways away from home and was inspired by a boy who seemed to be blind or albino who was running with a small leash with a girl, and continued jogging all the way home. So I really totalled something like 7.10 miles and they felt GREAT which is INSANE for me. Like that’s so many miles. And I haven’t run that far in so long, and they actually felt GOOD??? Like who am I?

I rewarded myself with a cinnamon roll protein shake, a little more shopping (I ended up getting the black Nike Tanjuns for anyone who saw my post last night lol), and Chick-Fil-A nuggets for lunch. Was considering making this day a cheat day when I saw the Chick-Fil-A, but I was good and only got the nuggets. My resolve was tested when I saw a girl with a Rita’s cup right when I got home and I wanted to be like OMG GIRL WHERE IS THERE A RITA’s AROUND HERE???!??! But clearly I held myself back.

Guess that means more Easter chocolate for me tomorrow hayyyyyy

6.02 mi 10'20" min / mi

Listening to: “Hair” by Little Mix

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