#squad gulls

[montereybayaquarium]

Searching for the squad on Gull-entine’s Day…

#monterey bay aquarium #hey gull friend #squad gulls #or is it squawk goals? #birds of a feather reject stereotypical romantic capitalist holidays together

[shootingstarpilot]

so various moments of STS frequently bounce around in my head but tonight it's Cody's elevator breakdown when Helix tells him how Stitch took the 'shiny' comment. and how he knew to say 'i wouldn't trade you /now/ for anything'. and how he said 'just being stitch is plenty fine too' and thinking about cody having been reconditioned himself. and. thinking about how obi-wan and the medic squad would react if they found out. needle realizing /marshall commander fucking cody/ is a 'recon' too. AHHH

alright you asked for it-

kamino does not have room for gentle things.

twig does not know this, and fox hates him a little bit for it.

twig is soft. fox catches him smuggling medical supplies out onto the catwalks to tend to a gull with a crooked wing. he helps him, the first time, and twig beams at him and says see?

fox goes back out later that night. the bird does not know to be afraid of him. fox wonders how often twig had gone out before, right before he snaps its neck.

(you cannot be soft on kamino.)

the gull is gone, he tells twig. it must've flown away.

twig is a crier. fox hits him. it only makes him cry harder.

stop it, he hisses- stop it, stop it, stop it-

it works. twig does not smuggle supplies again.

(you cannot be weak on kamino.)

twig is kind. kind in a way fox is not and never wants to be.

fox pins another cadet in a spar and tells him to yield-

"yield," the kid repeats, and hits him.

fox tightens his grip, hissing- the long-necks are watching always watching-

"give up," he says.

the kid's too cocky, too cocky, who's he to tell him to give up-

then twig is hauling him up and backwards and his "back off!" is just

a bit

too

loud.

fox does not look up.

the kid he'd pinned is crying.

fox does not look up.

twig kneels next to the crier. squeezes his hand. smiles, nice and soothing.

fox does not look up.

he can feel the eyes on them.

(you cannot be kind on kamino.)

the empty boy returns to them at 22:00 hours.

fox coaxes him into his own bunk. the first night is always dangerous. he points to the bucket that bly, wordless, had placed next to the mattress.

"if you need to vomit," he instructs not-twig-anymore, "you aim there."

"yes," 2224 says.

"you cannot be kind."

"fox," ponds whispers, from the bunk above them.

fox ignores him. he curls his fingers around twig's 2224's forearm and squeezes until he's sure he'll leave bruises.

"you cannot be kind," he repeats. "do you understand?"

"yes."

"good," fox says, satisfied. and then, because it is important, and because he means it- "then i would not trade you now for anything."

(kindness does not trade well, on kamino.)

#if i said spoiler alert #would you believe me #anyway kamino FUCKED THEM ALL UP #you have excellent thoughts as always dee <3 #evil thoughts #but excellent ones #shoulder the sky

[ibarkatpeoplewoofwoofbitch]

Creppypasta incorrect quotes

Toby: *Answers phone.* Hello?

Jeff: It's Jeff.

Toby: What did they do this time?

Jeff: No, it's me, Toby. It's actually me.

Toby: What did you do this time?

-

Liu: Alright, which one of us is gonna check outside?

Toby: Not it!

Ben: Not it!

Liu: ...Neither one of you are as dumb as you lead on to be.

-

*The squad has just arrived in a new city. Toby looks around at the wanted posters to see if they’re on any of them.*

Jeff: Toby, are you a criminal?

Toby: Not here, I’m not!

-

Toby: Do you cook?

Jeff: I made a cake once.

Ben: Yeah, it was good.

Jeff: Really?

Ben: Don’t make me lie twice, Jeff.

-

Puppeteer.: Y'know, I once knew a man who said to me: “When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” He also had a pair of sideburns that would cause even Jude Law’s face to weep in forfeit. You put those lemons in a sack and beat your enemies with ‘em! And maybe if you beat ‘em hard enough the bag will split open and lemon juice will spray into their eyes, causing intense burning pains as you crush them into a citrus-y pulp!

Liu: Wait, wait, wait, wait. Their heads or the lemons?

Puppeteer.: Whatever caves first!

-

Toby: So I have made the decision to trust you.

Jeff: A horrible decision, really.

-

Toby: I am literally evil incarnate.

Toby: I’m not actually, I just enjoy being evil.

Toby: Which I think actually makes it even more evil because I’m making a conscious effort.

-

Bloody painter: Uh, Eyless jack? Toby is in the pool and I don't think they're waterproof. Eyless

jack: What?

Liu: I think they meant, Toby is drowning.

Eyless jack: WHAT?!

*Meanwhile* Toby: *is drowning*

Puppeteer.: OH MY GOD, TOBY! KEEP SWIMMING!

Toby: I can't swim, dumbass— *sinks*

Puppeteer.: TOBY!

-

Puppeteer.: My expectations were low but holy fuck.

-

Toby: *closes a cabinet*

*a crash is heard behind the cabinet door*

Ben: What was that?

Toby: The sound of someone else's problem.

-

Eyless jack: I hate Kagekao.

Liu: "Hate' is a strong word.

Eyless jack: I have strong opinions.

-

Ben: Shouldn't get stressed out, it's not good for the baby.

Jeff: What baby?

Ben, crying a bit: Me.

-

Bloody painter: I told Puppeteer. that their ears turn red when they lie.

Eyless jack: Do they?

Bloody painter: No.

Eyless jack: Then why did you tell them that?

Bloody painter: Because I can do this.

Bloody painter: Hey Puppeteer.! Do you love us?

Puppeteer., with their hands over their ears: No.

-

Kagekao, trying to comfort Toby: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

-

Jeff: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time.

-

Kagekao: *gets set on fire and screams in agony*

Kagekao: Nah, I’m just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.

-

Kagekao: Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!

-

Bloody painter: Ha! Don't you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper?

Bloody painter: I must be losing it, I'm quoting Puppeteer..

-

Eyless jack: Which country has the most birds?

Eyless jack: Portu-geese!

Jane: That's a language.

Eyless jack: Portu-gull?

Jane: Good recovery.

Toby: I think you mean good re-dovery.

Kagekao: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

-

Puppeteer.: If karma doesn't hit you, I fucking will.

-

Nina : I am working on this whole Good Guy thing, but anyone who cuts me in line at Starbucks deserves to have their kneecaps shot out, okay?

-

Eyless jack: Hey, aren’t you Liu?

Liu: You a cop?

Eyless jack: No.

Liu: Then yes, I am.

-

Jane: Please say words of encouragement to me so I don’t murder someone right now.

Nina : There are no books in prison.

Jane: *sighs* Thank you.

-

Eyless jack: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!

Kagekao: Apparently, we're not.

-

Liu: You can track Eyless jack?

Kagekao: Of course I can. If the NSA can do it, so can I.

-

Bloody painter: You’re giving me a sticker?

Toby: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying “me-wow!”

Bloody painter: I’m not a preschooler.

Toby: Fine, I’ll take it back-

Bloody painter: I earned this, back off!

-

#creepypasta #jeffery woods #jeff the killer #jeff hodek #bloody painter #helen otis #puppeteer creepypasta #jonathan blake #Kagekao #Kagekao creppypasta #eyeless jack #ben drowned #benjamin lawman #liu woods #homicidal liu #liu hodek #ticci toby #toby rogers #tobias erin rogers #jane the killer #jane everlasting #nina the killer #Creppypasta incorrect quotes #the skrunkly

[justforbooks]

In a spoof obituary written while he was still in his 40s, Barry Humphries, who has died aged 89, described himself as “an ancient comic” who had long since become “a self-indulgent and inaudible has-been” with no sense of progressive social relevance.

The Republic of Australia’s Art Squad had, he said, banned Humphries’ work in his native land. He had endured his last years of “exile and obloquy” in the tarnished splendour of “a Lusitanian spa”, where he occasionally gave clandestine performances to his dwindling, reactionary and hard-of-hearing followers. He was survived, the obituary concluded, “by innumerable wives, great-grandchildren and creditors”. It was a generally appropriate death notice of a satirist who delighted in guying both himself and his critics.

Never a genial humorist, there was always a whiff of sulphur in his comedy. “What is there to say about me?” he would gull his interviewers. “I don’t smoke. I don’t drink. I am Church of England – I wash my car on Sundays. There must be some way you can jazz me up.” This was Humphries disguised as a candid interviewee. Being oneself, he would add, is a form of disguise.

There were many other disguises. One minute he would be a monocled Edwardian dandy or a mad scientist or a sad, sexless suburbanite. The next he would assume the mask of a beach bum or a shady art dealer or an embittered intellectual. But the most famous masks of all were his hellcat, the housewife megastar Dame Edna Everage, and his alcoholic political freeloader, professional adulterer and family man Sir Les Patterson.

Humphries grew up in suburban Melbourne, the son of Louisa (nee Brown) and Eric Humphries, a prosperous builder. He was an old boy of an exclusive school (or as he put it: “self-educated; attended Melbourne grammar”) and was briefly a student at Melbourne University. He began his extraordinary career on the back of an arts council bus touring the country towns of Victoria in 1954. It was his first professional role – the lovesick Duke Orsino to Zoe Caldwell’s Viola in Twelfth Night.

At each town, a patron of the arts, often the lady mayoress, would welcome the company over refreshments. Later, to help pass the time on the bus, Humphries invented a character to lampoon these municipal occasions. She was a drab, mousey and relentless hostess, simply named Edna.

The character was thought amusing enough to try out on stage in a Christmas revue in Melbourne. So it came about, on 13 December 1955, that Mrs (as she then was) Edna Everage made her stage debut – a volunteer hostess for the Melbourne Olympics, six feet tall, with brown basilisk eyes and a large chartreuse cabbage rose pinned on her charcoal suit. Her family – husband Norm, son Kenny, daughter Valmai, and mother (in a twilight home) – were given honourable mention, although their miserable fates in Edna’s triumphal backwash were not yet evident. Humphries, then as always, wrote the script.

The sketch was only a moderate success, but enough to point Humphries away from dramatic acting and towards the revue, music hall or cabaret. Also in 1955 he married Brenda Wright, and the following year they moved to Sydney to join a London-inspired theatre of “intimate revue”. He had found his metier, although Sydney satire was still too bland and self-congratulatory to satisfy his dandiacal rage. What Australia still needed, he said, was not mild satire, but a heroic act of espionage.

He finally found it playing the anguished Estragon in a 1958 production of Waiting for Godot. Humphries tramped the streets of Sydney in a sandwich board advertising the play, stuck Godot stickers on posts and windows, and scoured the scrap yards for trash with which he designed the stage sets. The audiences received the play with overwhelming indifference, but Humphries said it changed his life.

When he returned to revue, it was a new Humphries and a new Edna. She became at last a fully ad-libbing monologuiste, teasing if not insulting her audience. This was Edna’s breakthrough. She never looked back.

Australian theatre, however, remained in the doldrums. One critic said there was better theatre in a march-past of lifesavers on Bondi beach. In London, meanwhile, Beckett, Brecht, Osborne and Pinter were leading “the great uprising” from Sloane Square to Stratford East. Humphries found it irresistible.

His first marriage having come to an end after a couple of years, in 1959 Humphries married the ballet dancer Rosalind Tong, took a steamer to London – and into a decade of obscurity (and deepening alcoholism). He found some small parts, notably the undertaker in the original production of Lionel Bart’s Oliver! (1960). But his future fame lay with the one-man shows which at that point only his faithful Australian audiences would even contemplate. Three years after arriving in London, he returned to Melbourne and staged, in mid-1962, A Nice Night’s Entertainment, in which he again paraded Edna and her family, along with some of his other creations, from a tortured, expatriate-hating journalist to a nose-picking, guitar-toting beatnik.

The popular success of the show emboldened Humphries to try out his characters in London – at the Establishment Club in May 1963. It was a flop (or as he put it, “a highly successful five-minute season”). He returned to small roles, notably in Frank Norman’s A Kayf Up West, at Joan Littlewood’s Theatre Royal, Stratford East (1964). He also created for Private Eye the randy hobbledehoy Barry (“Bazza”) McKenzie, whose boozing, vomiting, urinating adventures, narrated in comic-strip form in a largely invented vernacular, reflected and mocked Humphries’ life in the swinging 60s. A film based on the character, The Adventures of Barry McKenzie, was released in 1972, and a sequel, Barry McKenzie Holds His Own, two years later, with Humphries taking several small roles in each; in the latter, the Australian prime minister of the time, Gough Whitlam, apparently invests Edna as a dame.

Humphries did two more Australian tours before testing the water in London again. The first – in 1965 – was the triumphant Excuse I, which filled huge Australian theatres for weeks on end. No one-man show had ever done such business in Australia. It was on this tour that Humphries introduced the gladioli-hurling finale. The next tour – the 1968 Just a Show – introduced further variations. Edna now abandoned her dowdy appearance and came on stage smiling like a shark in a red Thai silk coat over a green dress. (“Am I overdressed?” she asked, looking around. “No, I don’t think so.”) She also began entering from the stalls chatting to her “possums”.

The enormous success of Just a Show encouraged him to try again in London – at the Fortune theatre. Once again the show was a flop. Harold Hobson dismissed it in one devastating sentence: “Most of Barry Humphries’ Just a Show will give pleasure to most Australians in London.”

The great turning point in Humphries’ career came in 1970 when he collapsed, an alcoholic wreck. That June, he was arrested in the streets of Melbourne’s leafy, affluent Camberwell and charged with being drunk and disorderly. A sensible magistrate adjourned the case for six months, ordering that charges be withdrawn if there were no further “incidents”. Humphries booked into a private hospital specialising in alcoholism. The man who for more than 10 years had started the day with a “grappling hook” (brandy and port) became an abstainer – and one of the great comedians of his age.

Still he had not yet conquered London. His Australian shows of the early 1970s (A Load of Old Stuffe, in 1971, and At Least You Can Say You’ve Seen It, in 1974) further refined Edna. She was now a name-dropping predator of radical views and treacly-trendy sentimentality, wearing glittering scarlet hotpants split to the groin. Soon critics were ransacking the dictionary for adjectives to describe her: psychotic, hysteric, Dionysiac, Amazonian, crypto-fascist, anally obsessed, a piranha, a hectoring Medusa, a blue-rinsed beast of Belsen, the Australian daughter of Torquemada.

As her curtain raiser, and to incarnate his disgust with alcoholism, Humphries also created a new character, half Sir Toby Belch, half Apeneck Sweeney – exuberant clown and revolting drunk, the cultural attache Sir Les Patterson. Staggering down the aisle, whisky in hand, he would invite his audience to give Edna the clap she so richly deserved.

In 1976 had come yet another assault on the West End, this time succeeding sensationally when Housewife-Superstar opened at the Apollo. It ran to packed houses for four months and almost 500,000 people saw it.

This was the first of Humphries’ enormously popular one-man shows in London, which included A Night With Dame Edna (1978-79) and Back With a Vengeance (for a number of seasons 1987-89 and 2005-07). Critics now acclaimed him as the greatest one-man showman since Charles Dickens and perhaps in the history of theatre.

He reached an even wider audience on British television, including two series of The Dame Edna Experience (1987-89) for LWT, a highly successful comedy chatshow in which Dame Edna interviewed celebrities – or delivered monologues interrupted by total strangers, as she herself described it. On both stage and screen a silent, doleful background presence was provided by her “New Zealand bridesmaid” Madge Allsop, played from 1987 to 2003 by Emily Perry.

The US took longer to conquer. In 1977, Humphries presented Housewife-Superstar at West 55th Street, off Broadway, where the critics dismissed it as “abysmal”, “pointless” and “like the litter on 42nd Street, something worth missing”. It was to be 20 years before the New York critics submitted to the Humphriesian tornado. In 2000, he was awarded a special Tony for the “theatrical event” of the year – a category invented for the occasion since his show, Dame Edna: The Royal Tour, was neither play nor musical. His success led to subsequent US tours, and a role in the TV comedy drama Ally McBeal in 2002.

In March 2012, Humphries announced a farewell stage show, Eat Pray Laugh!, which toured Australia, the UK and the US. It featured his best-known characters – Dame Edna, the stoic old convalescent Sandy Stone, and Sir Les Patterson (with a bit part for his brother, Gerard, a paedophile priest). But in an eerie finale, there were glimpses of other unforgettable creations: among them Lance Boyle, the trade union racketeer; Brian Graham, the 1960s Sydney executive and closet homosexual in navy blue shorts and long white socks; and Phil Philby, the lefty experimental film-maker.

Before the final curtain, Humphries himself took the stage, thanked the packed house, and ambiguously urged them to come to his final “farewell”. In a wave of emotion while the band belted out “Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye”, his tearful fans delivered a standing ovation.

In 2015, Humphries was artistic director of the Adelaide Cabaret festival, where, with characteristic panache, he announced that he had banned the use of the word “fuck”, which too many comedians, including some good ones, use in a desperate attempt to get a laugh. (Humphries himself had often done so.) The patrons, he said, would be relieved and delighted by his new espousal of censorship.

As intended, the resulting controversy generated enormous publicity for the festival, but nonetheless he continued “to defend to the ultimate my right to give deep and profound offence”. Remarks of his on transgenderism – including dismissing it as a fashion – led in 2019 to the Melbourne international comedy festival dropping his name from its major prize, the Barry award.

Perceptions of what was considered either cutting edge or decadent in the jazz-infused music of Germany of the 1920s and 30s had fascinated him since finding a bundle of sheet music in Melbourne. In Australia in 2013 and in London seasons in 2016 and 2018, he explored it in the show Weimar Cabaret, with the chanteuse Meow Meow.

Humphries was based permanently in London from the late 1960s, although he visited Australia frequently, maintaining good relations with fans, friends and family. “To live permanently in Australia,” he would say, “is rather like going to a party and dancing all night with one’s mother.” He collected art and books, describing himself as a “compulsive bibliomaniac”, and owned 25,000 volumes.

Over the years, he made recordings, wrote books, a novel and a volume of verse, and in 2007 he held an exhibition of his paintings in Melbourne. He had roles in several films, including Finding Nemo (2003) and The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012). He dismissed most his books as trifles and promotions, but not his autobiography More Please (1992), which is less a comic story of an actor’s life than a de profundis or an alcoholic’s almanac; it is also noteworthy for its piety towards his family. It won the JR Ackerley prize for autobiography in 1993. Humphries was the subject of several biographies, including John Lahr’s Dame Edna Everage and the Rise of Western Civilisation (1991), One Man Show (2010), by Anne Pender, and my own book, published in 1991, The Real Barry Humphries.

He was appointed OA in 1982 and CBE in 2007.

From his marriage to Rosalind, Humphries had two daughters, Tessa and Emily. In 1979, he married the artist Diane Millstead, and they had two sons, Rupert and Oscar. Following his third divorce, in 1990 he married Lizzie Spender, daughter of the poet Stephen Spender. She survives him, along with his four children.

🔔 John Barry Humphries, comic actor and scriptwriter, born 17 February 1934; died 22 April 2023

Daily inspiration. Discover more photos at http://justforbooks.tumblr.com

#JUST FOR BOOKS #Barry Humphries #in memoriam

[asimfamilystory]

The good thing about both Erin and Don being in the military is that skill with repairing appliances and equipment saves them TONS of simoleans in needing to hire a repair man.

With this being the last day of her maternity leave, Erin makes sure to spend time with Oakes as she didn't want her son thinking that his parents had both abandoned him, though it might be more Erin having trouble readjusting to having to go back to work but she is also ready to start working towards having a promotion so that she could continue working towards giving her family a better life without putting all the weight for their family on Don's shoulders, especially since they were both in the military career.

After work Don made his way down to the local beach to relax, meeting a young man named Jared Frio, striking up a conversation.

Completely relaxed at the beach, Don takes a nap.

The calming sounds of the waves gently hitting the sandy beach, gulls calling in the air, the warm breeze against his face is a reminder that Sunset Valley is a beautiful place that encourages sims to simply stop and enjoy the world around them for a moment.

While her husband was relaxing at the beach Erin decided she needed to have a girls night out with her bestfriend LaShawn Stringer and catch a movie together. Erin had spent a majority of her maternity at home with the baby and so it was a nice change of pace to use her last night of maternity leave to relax and spend some time just having fun.

The first day back to work, and the first day of his promotion, two Squad Leader's make their way into the base. Erin knowing that she was going to earn her promotion today, especially considering she had been promised it before she had to take her maternity leave. Don is incredibly proud of his wife and is honored to take her position as she was about to leave it for an even higher ranking position. With them working similar schedules it keeps a stable routine down for their family without both parents having to have their son on a rotating schedule.

After earning a raise with her promotion to Flight Officer, Erin decides that she wants to pick up the guitar skill as it was something fun and that it was something Erin could do that had nothing to do with her career and the skills that she needed for it. Plus, who can say no to a good jam?

#sims 3 story #sims 3 screenshots #sims 3 gameplay #sims 3 simblr #sims 3 family #sims 3 blog #sims 3 #gen 1 #generation 1 #Don Weglein #Erin Weglein #Oakes Weglein #building skills and making friends #I'm bias but I think Don is incredibly good looking #might just be me tho

[triple-asstro]

2012 tmnt incorrect quotes

Reader: I want to wake up with you every day for the rest of our lives 2012!Leo: I wake up at 4:30 AM Reader: Reader: I want to see you at some point every day for the rest of our lives

Reader: I made tea. 2012!Leo: I don’t want tea. Reader: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea. 2012!Leo: Then why are you telling me? Reader: It is a conversation starter. 2012!Leo: That’s a lousy conversation starter. Reader: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

2012!Raph: Do you ever feel bugs on you when really there’s nothing there? 2012!Donnie: Those are the ghosts of the bugs you killed before. 2012!Raph: 2012!Raph: *sobs* Reader: You fucking scared them, you idiot.

2012!Donnie: Is this your plan B? Reader: Technically, this is plan P. 2012!Donnie: Plan P? Is there a plan M? Reader: Yes, but I marry 2012!Leo in plan M. 2012!Leo: I like plan M.

Reader: Breathe, just breathe. 2012!Leo: I’ve done nothing with my life! I’m a failure! 2012!Donnie: Awww, that never bothered you before.

Reader: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of 2012!Mikey. 2012!Leo: You just said it again. 2012!Mikey: Reader: I am not a role model.

2012!Mona: What do we think of 2012!April? *pause* 2012!Leo: *sighs* Nice pal. Reader: I think they're gay.

2012!Mona: I just want someone to take me out. 2012!Leo: On a date? 2012!Karai: With a sniper gun? Reader: Both if you're not a coward.

Reader: Which country has the most birds? Reader: Portu-geese! 2012!Leo: That's a language. Reader: Portu-gull? 2012!Leo: Good recovery. 2012!Mona: I think you mean good re-dovery. 2012!Raph: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

Reader: look 2012!Leo, I'm not slut shaming you but... Reader: Actually yeah, I'm TOTALLY slut shaming you.

Reader: Mint is just cold spicy. The Squad: ... 2012!Leo: What the actual fuck is wrong with you.

2012!Leo: Reader, can you help me? My hoodie keeps disappearing for some reason. Reader, wearing said hoodie that's 5 times bigger than their size: Spooky, indeed.

Reader: So how’s the food 2012!Leo made? 2012!Raph: Surprisngly, decent. Compliments to them. Reader: *goes to the kitchen* Reader: You're adorable. 2012!Leo: *blushes*

#tmnt headcanons #tmnt 2k12 #tmnt incorrect quotes #incorrect quotes #tmnt leo #tmnt raph #tmnt mikey #tmnt donnie #2012 leo #2012 raph #2012 mikey #2012 donnie

[redislonely]

Twst incorrect quotes DORM LEADERS (from incorrect quote generator)

Squad reactions to being called straight:

Leona: The fuck, no I'm not. 
Azul: Excuse the hell out of you? 
Kalim: Ding dong, you are wrong! 
Malleus: Who told you that? And why did they lie? 
Riddle: Rude. 
Vil: *punches the person*

Kalim: Holy shit, Vil, do you know what this means?! 
Vil: Kid, whenever you start doing this, nobody knows what you mean.

Idia: I hate taking off my glasses, because without them, my vision goes from Full HD all the way down to buffering at 240p and I just can't handle that.

Vil: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO- 
Kalim: It was me... 
Vil: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance.

Kalim: Which country has the most birds? 
Kalim: Portu-geese! 
Azul: That's a language. 
Kalim: Portu-gull? 
Azul: Good recovery. 
Riddle: I think you mean good re-dovery. 
Vil: TURKEY. HOW DID WE MISS TURKEY?

Azul: You’re such a dumbass (affectionate). 
Vil: Aww, you’re such a whore (complimentary). 
Malleus: How are you talking like that in real life? 
Vil: Witchcraft (derogatory).

Idia: Are you reading fan fiction? 
Malleus, reading an article about extremely rare diseases: Wh- No. 
Idia: Oh, is it on AO3? 
Malleus: This is CNN.

Idia: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case? 
Azul: wHat? 
Idia: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved. 
Azul: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

Vil: *Locks Leona in the car.* Act like a child, get treated like a child. 
Leona: What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car?

Idia: Welcome to my room. As you can see, I've knocked over many chairs because I get so tilted at the towers. 
Malleus: Uh, this isn't really tilted. Or a tower. 
Idia: Well you see, it's a gamer pad. Not many girls come in here because I get friendzoned so frequently. But that's okay. 
Malleus: I'd like to be in the Friendzone! I like friends! 
Idia: It's not as pleasant as you think. They don't treat you like a friend. They treat you like an item. Sometimes I wish I could be more than just an accessory to these women; But unfortunately, as a gamer, I don't get respect. 
Malleus: I'm not a gamer! so maybe they'll respect me! 
Idia: That just makes you a beta cuck.

#twisted wonderland incorrect quotes #twisted wonderland #twst incorrect quotes #twst #kalim al asim #leona kingscholar #idia shroud #vil schoenheit #malleus draconia #azul ashengrotto #riddle rosehearts #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland

[sparkywrites25]

Better Things Final Part | Rivetra & Squad Levi AU Textfic

“It’s incredible,” Petra breathes, stretching out her feet in the damp sand and watching as the retreating water surges forwards again, surrounding her feet in coolness. The blue of the water glitters, mesmerizing under a cloudless sky. Gulls soar above in circles and a salty scent is carried on a breeze that feels good on her heated face

“It’s nice,” Levi murmur next to her. His cape and jacket lie folded with hers in a tidy pile that had made her laugh and take him in for a quick kiss. His arm holds her close to his body while his other hand rubs up and down her bare forearm, brushing against her rolled up sleeves.

Despite Levi’s recommendations that everyone stay together in this unknown territory, everyone has inevitably wandered off. Oluo and Nifa have drifted off together. Hange, Eld and Gunther are wandering the shore. The 104th squad are playing about in the water. Around a bend from where their comrades are chatting, whooping and splashing, Levi and Petra have found some solitude in an undiscovered (for now) cove.

“Only you could come to a place as beautiful as this and just call it nice,” Petra teases, turning her attention away from the horizon and to the grey-blue eyes watching her. Her cheeks blush, recognizing the increasingly appearing smile.

“I’ve seen more beautiful things,” he shrugs. His smile twists into a slight smirk when her blush deepens. He nudges her forehead with his and she returns the gesture with her own softened smile. Levi’s eyes flicker downward. “Does Nifa know?”

“No,” Petra’s smile turns mischievously. “I teased her with the idea of a secret though. It’ll drive her crazy.”

“And as she’s probably on a beach date with Oluo, this’ll drive him crazy,” Levi remarks.

“Two birds,” Petra smiles, staring back up at the sky, watching numerous gulls diving down towards the ocean only to slow themselves and sit on the waves.

Levi’s hand finds hers and squeezes. “You’re not too hot?”

“No, I’m good.” Petra murmurs, still staring up at the sky.

His fingers squeeze hers again. “You’d say if you weren’t?”

That brings her attention back to him. “Of course.” She meets his forehead with hers again and pecks his nose. “I feel so much better today. The ride wasn’t so bad.”

Levi lifts their clasped hands to his lips and kisses her fingers. “Remember the plan, if trouble comes. You’ll-”

“-ride straight home, I promise.” She nods her head towards the horizon. “We’re fine, Levi. There’s no sign of anyone approaching. For now we’re okay. Let’s just enjoy that,” she suggests. He kisses her fingers again silently for a moment and then nestles closer to her. She leans her head against his shoulder and wraps her arms around his middle. “Let’s just stay like this a bit longer,” she muses. “Feels like it took us so long to get here.”

“Guess it did,” Levi agrees, leaning his head against hers. “We were always moving forwards but never going anywhere.”

“Until now,” Petra says. “I know we still have a lot to face but it finally feels like we’re moving on from the horrors of the past.”

In the same moment, she and Levi each lower one hand to her stomach and Levi’s expression softens.

“Yeah, onto better things.”

------------------------

So this concludes Better Things. Thank you all so much for being a part of the journey. A fully fleshed out version with lots of chapters and scenes between the conversations will be up soon. I've had a lot of fun with this world. There is a possibility of a sequel but for now I'm gonna prioritize the full version along with other works.

I really appreciate all the feedback on this monster of a fic. It was mostly largely unplanned and only meant to be a short bit of fun fluff, most likely less than 10 parts but now here we are on Part 33 and things got dark, mysterious and toxic at times.

Something something... best laid plans.

Or in my case, not having much of a plan and winging it.

#my fics #fic: better things #attack on titan #attack on titan fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin #shingeki no kyojin fanfiction #levi ackerman #levi ackerman fanfiction #petra ral #petra ral fanfiction #levi ackerman x petra ral #levi ackerman x petra ral fanfiction #levi x petra #levi x petra fanfiction #rivetra #rivetra fanfiction #levi squad #text fic

[longeyelashedtragedy]

for the writing ask game... this was SO HARD and i've picked too many!!!

23, or if not applicable, 12, or if not applicable, 13…

36

37 (&. maybe 38)

40, and 41 if you like

whichever of 45 and 46 you feel more comfortable answering/think is more interesting

thank you for sending me all these questions omg!

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to? i think i'd love to write some real historical fiction AU, like one that i actually do some research for. or, some sort of mindfucky thing where i really play with people's conception of how a story should be told (in the style of my fav author, julio cortázar), but i'm not a good enough writer for either of these LOL

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you? i'll do this as a bonus because yes! i used to be really eye-rolly about found family but dangerous au will have some of these elements and it's so soothing. of course, in my case my found family is 'violent and suddenly orphaned mafia boys'--something that i tend to not like about the trope is how uwu it can be lol.

36. Do you visualize what you read/write? very much, though mostly what i write and not what i read. i often see things playing out very cinematically when i'm planning a story--my head zooms out kinda and i can see everything from so many angles. however i have some big visual-spatial deficits so the stuff i imagine is kind of floating in my head instead of in a particular imagined space? hard to explain 😂

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it? ok so like my deepest cut that i think is one of my best things is a super niche football/crossover AU written in the style of the 'what we do in the shadows' movie and i'm always hesitant to recommend it lol but in terms of more normal things...

this is a deep cut because it's a rare"pair" but this movren/granit threesome i wrote last year, A Team This Good, i'm just really proud of. it was the first time i ever wrote granit actually and i just think i really pulled off all the dialogue and constantly shifting power balances and honestly it's just really hot and managed to have a sweet ending too? i'm really proud of it hahaha

40. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person? oh, i def reread. mostly because i'm pretty picky about what i like, deep down, so i wind up just rereading that stuff. currently on heavy reread rotation is the "ice ice baby" series 🫣 --i am a frequent rereader of your stuff too ESPECIALLY the granit/aaron tho i am biased there

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

need you by loveleah (sergio ramos/luka modrić, this is old at this point but this fic is my ride or die, it changed my life 4 real)

gulls in the sky by Deinde (erling haaland/martin ødegaard, part of the 'ice ice baby' series, i'm just so impressed by how like disciplined and professional this fic is and by how much it manages to do)

i guess any thrill will do by juskisa (old fic where dries mertens has a gangbang with the entire napoli squad--this is really explicit but such porn goals)

save me from myself (dejan lovren/šime vrsaljko)

if moscow is forever, where's your home sweet home? (luka modrić. & ivan rakitić, this is an example of like, fics that fuck with your expectations that i wish i could write!)

last but not least: in praise of limestone (not kidding!!!)

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic? dialogue--at least i think so, or hope so! and writing more efficiently, throwing less clunky backstory into places that don't need it, inserting my own voice into it less. i hope. though i feel like my writing has actually gotten worse, i don't know how true that is!

legit thank you SO much for sending all these questions you made my day!

questions for fic writers

#dejan-kulusevski #answered #fic saga #COYG!

[poem-today]

A poem by Mark Jarman

GROUND SWELL

Is nothing real but when I was fifteen, Going on sixteen, like a corny song? I see myself so clearly then, and painfully-- Knees bleeding through my usher's uniform Behind the candy counter in the theater After a morning's surfing; paddling frantically To top the brisk outsiders coming to wreck me, Trundle me clumsily along the beach floor's Gravel and sand; my knees aching with salt. Is that all I have to write about? You write about the life that's vividest. And if that is your own, that is your subject. And if the years before and after sixteen Are colorless as salt and taste like sand-- Return to those remembered chilly mornings, The light spreading like a great skin on the water, And the blue water scalloped with wind-ridges, And--what was it exactly?--that slow waiting When, to invigorate yourself, you peed Inside your bathing suit and felt the warmth Crawl all around your hips and thighs, And the first set rolled in and the water level Rose in expectancy, and the sun struck The water surface like a brassy palm, Flat and gonglike, and the wave face formed. Yes. But that was a summer so removed In time, so specially peculiar to my life, Why would I want to write about it again? There was a day or two when, paddling out, An older boy who had just graduated And grown a great blonde moustache, like a walrus, Skimmed past me like a smooth machine on the water, And said my name. I was so much younger, To be identified by one like him-- The easy deference of a kind of god Who also went to church where I did--made me Reconsider my worth. I had been noticed. He soon was a small figure crossing waves, The shawling crest surrounding him with spray, Whiter than gull feathers. He had said my name Without scorn, just with a bit of surprise To notice me among those trying the big waves Of the morning break. His name is carved now On the black wall in Washington, the frozen wave That grievers cross to find a name or names. I knew him as I say I knew him, then, Which wasn't very well. My father preached His funeral. He came home in a bag That may have mixed in pieces of his squad. Yes, I can write about a lot of things Besides the summer that I turned sixteen. But that's my ground swell. I must start Where things began to happen and I knew it.

Mark Jarman

Listen to Mark Jarman read his poem.

Mark Jarman discuses his composition of the poem.

#mark jarman #american poetry #surfing #writing #vietnam #ground swell

[coyotechaos]

A California coastline at sunset from a nearby parking lot. Gulls shout above, hoping to spot a spare fry to squabble over. Crowds of strangers pass by, excited for a day near the waves. The water deep blue. Her crashing might a gentle swoosh at the distance.

Two pals sit in their car, staring at the distance. Not from the lot to the beach, but from their car to a nearby concrete structure. This building is not typically used, however, this pair has learned of criminal activity below ground. Following a trail of alarming clues, they learned that the gang may be holding a certain individual captive. All the way from Chicago, Illinois: Aiden Pearce. And they, Marcus and Xanth, were about to rescue him. Or something.

Now these guys know what they’re doing of course. Hacker this, hacker that. And it was definitely not intimidating to think that this gang may have already put the lights out for The (super cool) Fox (not an actual fox) already. The lemur in the driver’s seat took a deep breath.

“Squad said we’re good, we should get to it.” Marcus faced the cat beside him and held his arm out.

“Oh bet!” Xanth’s hand slammed into Marcus’ with the most satisfying sound following.

Both jumped out of the vehicle and made their way to the building, realizing that nothing seemed out of ordinary on the outside. Groups of friends were hanging around, partaking in different activities. Some chilling on top, their legs hanging down. Others dancing beside a wall.

“Psst, hop on those cameras. Let’s see what’s really going on huh?” The blue feline whispered to Marcus, who responded with a nod. The two of them huddled together, watching what they could see behind closed doors on the tiny screen. “Look at that big guy, strapped like the big bad wolf is gonna eat him.” Xanth chuckled, tossing his long tail playfully.

“Mhmm.” Marcus just stared at his compadre for a moment. “Well. Let’s go kick some ass.” He jumped up and down, stretching his shoulders as he took lead towards the door. Xanth followed and chaos ensued. Gun fight, hack a door, another gun fight, camera. Yes. They made it through and spied the man sitting down in a locked cell. A single guard pacing. Wow, look at that. Dude has a phone. Marcus sends some unhinged photo his way. Aiden takes a moment to process, nodding at the camera before taking the distracted guard out and running off. No way the squad would believe this! The two rushed out and to the car, Marcus sliding in to call the others. But hold on. His cat friend isn’t there. “Oh lord help that man.” He whispered before dialing up base. “Yo we totally saved him! It was awesome.”

“I don’t believe it.” Sitara expressed.

“You better have photos!” Wrench shouted.

“Guys. Guys. I don’t. But you’ll never guess.” The chatter quiet, waiting in suspense.

“Ummm, y’all are besties now?” Wrenched piped in.

“No but. Xanth.” A chorus of groans followed. “He has one. Hundred. Percent. Gone after the man. Dude ain’t with me.”

“Mhm. Yep. Yep. Called it.” Horatio could be heard in the background.

“Uuuuuugh just meet us back at base.” Sitara spat before hanging up.

And there it is where no one will find it

#i am cringe and i am free #I brought the orus (furries) to earth #I may have also Elli’siafied her as well #I’m just playing with words #I haven’t in a long long time

[mid-nighttiger]

when the squad lands in the city

[Image ID: Picture of five brown pelicans flying towards the viewer. The sky is cloudy, and below them, a gull sits on a rock outcrop. /End ID]

#midpics #animals #bury me in feathers #photography #brown pelican #birds

[celatum-apis]

Gary Johnson tells Torquay United squad: You must all hold your nerve - Torbay Weekly

Torquay United captain Asa Hall, pictured in the Gulls' match againt FC Halifax in January, is back following knee surgery. from Google Alert - nerve surgery https://ift.tt/G39RsNj

#IFTTT #Google Alert - nerve surgery

[lighthouseborna]

im thinking today about my "i think it would be funny if henry was leader of a 'leave the gull alone she's doing her best' squad" take

#;sldkjfg;lskdjfg #''you call this a ship'' oi!! ... she's doing her best #listen she's a little run down but c'mon cut her a break

[viralnews-1]

Pakistan recall Sidra Nawaz, Sidra Ameen for Women's T20 Asia Cup

Pakistan recall Sidra Nawaz, Sidra Ameen for Women’s T20 Asia Cup

Opener Sidra Ameen and wicketkeeper-batter Sidra Nawaz have been recalled into the Pakistan side for the Women’s T20 Asia Cup, which will be staged in Sylhet next month. The 15-member squad also includes uncapped allrounder Sadaf Shamas. Pakistan have made three changes to the side that turned out for the Commonwealth Games in Birmingham last month with Anam Amin, Gull Feroza and Iram Javed…

View On WordPress

[shoesmedownj]

Top Ten Masonic Conspiracies

Top Ten Masonic Conspiracies and the Facts Behind Them – Whether you believe the Masonic brotherhood originated in Ancient Egypt, with the Knights Templar or in the medieval stonemason guilds, it is clear that Masonry has a long history and plenty of opportunities to get entangled in scandals and conspiracy theories. Here are the most popular Freemasonic conspiracy theories:

No. 10 – Jack the Ripper

No. 9 – Freemasonry and Washington, D.C.

No. 8 – The Kidnapping of Captain William Morgan

No. 7 – The Poisoning of Mozart

No. 6 – Freemasonry and the New World Order

No. 5 – Freemasons Worship the Devil

No. 4 – Judeo-Masonic Conspiracy

No. 3 – Albert Pike and the Three World Wars

No. 2 – Propaganda Due Masonic Lodge

No. 1 – Illuminati Infiltration of Masonic Lodges

No.10 Jack the Ripper

A serial killer ritually murders London prostitutes in order to cover up a scandal involving the British Royal family

freemason-illuminati-jack-the-ripper

The Masonic conspiracy rests on the testimony of Joseph Sickert, son of painter Walter Sickert who was allegedly involved in the conspiracy along with the Queen’s personal physician, Sir William Gull (aged 72!), police commissioner Sir Charles Warren and other high-level Freemasons. In Sickert’s tale, Queen Victoria’s grandson and heir apparent Prince Eddy, Duke of Clarence had married and fathered a child with a common Irish Catholic shop clerk from London’s East End. With the entire monarchy’s fragile state and a Catholic bastard now standing in line for the throne, the Freemasons were charged with cleaning up the mess and eliminating all witnesses. Sickert had the role of playing the Duke’s brother on his outings and suspiciously was not himself of a target of the Masonic hit squad, leading some to believe that Walter Sickert himself might be Jack the Ripper or at the very least, one of his accomplice. (There are currently over 100 suspects in the Whitechapel Murders).

In 1976, Stephen Knight wrote Jack the Ripper. The final solution, a bestselling book based on Sickert’s account. Sickert admitted to the Royal Conspiracy hoax in The Sunday Times of London in 1978. Despite the admission, the story remained popular and spawned a myriad of articles, books and movies including the big-budget 2001 film From Hell (based on the Alan Moore’s graphic novel by the same name), the 1979 Murder by Decree (famous for depicting actual secret Masonic grips) and a host of other movies.

The words “The Juwes are the men that will not be blamed for nothing.” (see the Goulston Street Graffito) were found scribbled in chalk near the double-murder scenes of victims Stride and Eddowes. Sir Charles Warren, head of the London Police and the Most Worshipful Master of the Quator Coronati Masonic Lodge erased the reference to “juwes” left behind by Jack the Ripper. Ostensibly, to avoid a backlash against the local Jewish population. Conspiracists point out that the unusual spelling of “Juwes” is a reference to the Masonic murder of Hiram Abiff by the three ruffians Jubela, Jubelo and Jubelum.

jubela-jubelo-jubelum

Actor Johnny Depp’s finger discovering the names of the three ruffians.

Due to the lack of forensic evidence, it’s impossible to completely rule out the masons as the culprit behind the Jack the Ripper killings. However, there really isn’t any reason to do so. Some evidence does pop up once in a while, for instance author Patricia Cornwell’s research into DNA proved that at least one of the letters attributed to Jack the Ripper was written by Walter Sickert.

Parallels between the Ripper murders and Masonic Oaths:

All “Canonical 5” victims had their throat cut from left to right. (See Entered Apprentice Oath below) The fifth victim’s heart was taken. (See Fellowcraft Oath below) Four of the victims abdomen were slashed with Kelly’s completely emptied. (See Master Mason Oath below) Knight claims that Jack the Ripper’s murders paralleled Masonic blood oaths. (see below)

Oath of an Entered Apprentice:

“All this I most solemnly, sincerely promise and swear, with a firm and steadfast resolution to perform the same, without any mental reservation or secret evasion of mind whatever, binding myself under no less penalty than that of having my throat cut across, my tongue torn out by its roots, and my body buried in the rough sands of the sea, at low-water mark, where the tide ebbs and flows twice in twenty-four hours, should I ever knowingly violate this my Entered Apprentice obligation. So help me God, and keep me steadfast in the due performance of the same.”

Oath of a Fellowcraft

“All this I most solemnly promise and swear with a firm and steadfast resolution to perform the same, without any hesitation, mental reservation, or self-evasion of mind whatever, binding myself under no less penalty than of having my breast torn open my heart plucked out, and placed on the highest pinnacle of the temple, there to be devoured by the vultures of the air, should I ever knowingly violate the Fellow Craft obligation. So help me God, and keep me steadfast in the due performance of the same.

(some say, My heart and vitals taken from thence, and thrown over my left shoulder, and carried into the valley of Jehoshaphat…)”

Oath of a Master Mason

“All this I most solemnly, sincerely promise and swear, with a firm and steady resolution to perform the same, without any hesitation, mental reservation, or secret evasion of mind what-ever, binding myself, under no less penalty than that of having my body severed in two, my bowels taken from thence and burned to ashes, the ashes scattered before the four winds of heaven, that no more remembrance might be had of so vile and wicked a wretch as I would be, should I ever, knowingly, violate this my Master Mason’s obligation. So help me God, and keep me steadfast in the due performance of the same.”

― Duncan’s Masonic Ritual and Monitor

The Ultimate Jack the Ripper resource can be found here and this site looks at the murders from a Freemasonic point of view. Note that Freemasons are not allowed to discuss Masonic obligations and penalties with Cowans. (non-masons) Admittingly, the supposed ties between the Ripper’s modus operandi and Masonic penalties are far-fetched.

youtubeClick on image to watch Murder by Decree trailer (1979) Trailer Running Time : 1:02

No.9 Freemasonry and Washington D.C.

The Founding Founders, Freemasonry and the capital of the United States

freemason-illuminati-washington-streets

Since 1776, no less than 14 Presidents of the United States, 18 Vice-Presidents and around 40 Supreme Court Justices have been Freemasons. Many of the Founding Founders were active Freemasons. Thirteen of the 39 signers of the US Constitution were Masons; 9 of the 56 signers of the Declaration of Independence. Just under half of George Washington’s Continental Army generals were Freemasons.

Masonic Presidents

Freemasons George Washington and Thomas Jefferson appointed Freemasonic brother Pierre Charles L’Enfant to design the new capital of the United States, Washington D.C. L’Enfant inserted multiple Masonic symbols into the street layouts of Washington.

Some Presidents still opt to use George Washington’s Masonic Inaugural Bible when being sworn in as POTUS. Masons, being masons, have a thing for laying cornerstones.

George Washington leveling the cornerstone of the United States Capitol

George Washington leveling the cornerstone of the United States Capitol

The headquarters of the American Revolution was the Masonic-owned Green Dragon Tavern in Boston. The tavern’s second floor served as a large meeting place for the Lodge of St-Andrews and the Grand Lodge of Massachusetts. Paul Revere was the Senior Deacon of St-Andrew’s Lodge. There, they dressed up as Mohawks and proceeded to dump over 9- thousand pounds of tea from the British East India Company into Boston harbor. The incident remains one of the most famous political protest in American history.

House of the Temple

House of the Temple

Check out The Illuminati Symbol, the Great Seal and the One Dollar Bill.

No.8 The Kidnapping of Captain William Morgan

1826 – A Masonic whistleblower disappears after announcing his intention to publish the secrets of Freemasonry

freemason-illuminati-morgan-murder

William Morgan routinely visited New York state Masonic Lodges in the cities of Batavia, Le Roy and Rochester, but his Masonic standing gradually came into question and he was removed (“blackballed” in Masonspeak) from the membership. Rebuked, Morgan threatened to expose the Freemason’s inner secrets in his upcoming book. He furthered angered the local masons by bragging about receiving a sizable advance from a local newspaper for his exposé’s publication.

morganFour Freemasons tried to prevent the printing of Morgan’s exposé by setting fire to Morgan’s publishers. They were apprehended and 3 were indicted.

Morgan was then arrested and sent to debtor’s prison for allegedly owing $2.68. His publisher paid the fine to get him released but he was immediately rearrested on a trumped up charge of stealing a shirt and tie. That night, a man claiming to be Morgan’s friend paid the fine and the two men entered a waiting carriage. Captain William Morgan was never seen again.

Freemasons Loton Lawon, Nicholas Chesebro and Edward Sawyer eventually coughed up to kidnapping William but denied murdering him. They claimed they took Morgan to Fort Niagara where they gave him $500 to go to Canada. The three men and two other accomplices were convicted of William Morgan’s Kidnapping.

Morgan’s pamphlet Freemasonry Exposed and Explained selling for a buck a piece and his Illustration of Masonry soon became best sellers and gave rise to the first American third party, the Anti-Masonic party, with Thurlow Weed opposing Masonic President Andrew Jackson. The party managed to elect two state governors before it gradually fizzled out after 1835.

No.7 The Poisoning of Mozart

After revealing Masonic secrets in his opera The Magic Flute, composer Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart is poisoned by his the Brotherhood

freemason-mozart-poison

Mozart was initiated as an Entered Apprentice on December 14th, 1784 at the at a Zur Wohltätigkeit (“Beneficence”) Masonic Lodge in Vienna. Mozart was more interested in the intellectual and philosophical aspects of freemasonry rather than its occult aspects. As such he was surrounded by members of the Bavarian Illuminati including one of his mentors, Illuminatus Ignaz von Born.

The Magic Flute did not reveal any Masonic secrets but it did not hide Mozart’s displeasure with the anti-Masonic Austrian Empress Maria Theresa and the Vatican. Pope Clement XII had issued a papal bull against freemasonry in 1738. Mozart incorporated many musical symbols from Freemasonic ceremonies into his opera. For example the overture’s opening features three harmonized chords. The number three reoccurred numerous times on the overture echoing a Masonic Initiation.

freemasonry-magic-fluter

Mozart was an active Mason until his death, wrote many Masonic odes and is known as a Masonic composer. He was a happy mason. Unfortunately, Mozart’s health was fragile and he was afflicted with a number of serious disease including typhoid, smallpox, syphilis, and hepatitis.

On his return from Prague to Vienna, Mozart became convinced that he had been poisoned. In November 1791, he becoame bedridden and died the following month. His fellow masons held a Lodge of Sorrow in his honor.

The theory that Mozart could have been poisoned either by Freemasons or by his rival Antonio Salieri is not supported by physical evidence. Mozart displayed none of the symptoms of either arsenic or mercury poisoning as he lay dying.

Movie director Stanley Kubrick is also rumored to have been snuffed by members of an unnamed secret society for revealing too much in his Eyes Wide Shut.

No.6 Freemasonry and the New World Order

Freemasonry provides cover for the secret plutocratic rulers of the world

freemason-illuminati-new-world-order

Ancient secret societies have metamorphosed into modern elite think tanks where they are able to fund researchers that serve their various agendas. The Freemasons were once very powerful and the members of the elite class joined it en masse in the 1800s and early 1900s, but the Elite class no longer requires the cover of freemasonry to meet secretly and plan world domination.

Members of the ruling class are free and can easily meet in closed-door meetings surrounded by employees gagged by iron-clad non-disclosure agreements or their teams of attorneys protected by client-attorney privileges. They also meet in larger committees and conferences such as the Trilateral Commission, Chatham House, The Council of Foreign Affairs, and the Bilderberg group where secrecy is always strongly enforced.

The structure of modern masonry itself also makes it useless for proponents of the New World Order. There is no top-down command structure as in a corporation or the military. Instead each Lodges individually recognizes other Masonic lodges and make independent decisions in all local matters. It would be impossible for a secret group on top to secretly command lower level masons.

Freemasonry accepts members of all religions which fit with the New World Order’s plan for the formation of a one world religion. Could the Masonic Grand Architect of the Universe be the unifier of all the world’s religions? One is doubtful.

At the Denver International Airport, artist Leo Tanguma’s “In Peace and Harmony with Nature” as well as his “Children of the World Dream of Peace” have caused much speculation as to motive.

No.5 Freemasons Worship the Devil

High-level Freemasons practice ritual murders in service of Satan

freemason-illuminati-satan

The theory that Freemasons worship Satan gained popularity in the 1890s with the writings of French journalist Gabriel Jogand-Pagès. After the publication of Pope’s Leo XIII’s anti-Masonic Humanum Genus, Jogand-Pagès made a great show of leaving Freemasonry and pretending to return to Roman Catholism. He was able to carve a comfortable anti-Masonic niche for himself.

Under the pen names of Léo Les_Mystères_de_la_franc-maçonnerie_dévoilés_par_Léo_TaxilTaxil or Dr. Bataille, Jogand-Pagès published a series of stories detailing Freemasonry’s involvement with Satanism. He based his articles in parts on the revelations of his entirely fictitious Satanic High Priestess, Diana Vaughan and the Masonic “Palladium” which practiced ritual murders and worshiped the devil Baphomet. Taxil also claimed that Scottish Rite Grand Commander Pike was the “Sovereign Pontiff” of universal Freemasonry. He transcribed the following address in which he claimed Pike was giving instructions to the 23 Supreme Councils of the World.

“That which we must say to the crowd is, we worship a god, but it is the god one adores without superstition. To you sovereign grand inspector general, we say this and you may repeat it to the brethren of the 32nd, 31st and 30th degrees – the Masonic religion should be by all of us initiates of the high degrees, maintained in the purity of the Luciferian doctrine.

If Lucifer were not god, would Adonay (the God of the Christians) whose deeds prove cruelty, perfidy and hatred of man, barbarism and repulsion for science, would Adonay and His priests, calumniate Him?

Yes, Lucifer is god, and unfortunately Adonay is also God, for the eternal law is that there is no light without shade, no beauty without ugliness, no white without black, for the absolute can only exist as two gods. darkness being necessary for light to serve as its foil, as the pedestal is necessary to the statue, and the brake to the locomotive.

Thus, the doctrine of Satanism is heresy, and the true and pure philosophical religion is the belief in Lucifer, the equal of Adonay, but Lucifer, god of light and god of good, is struggling for humanity against Adonay, the god of darkness and evil”

In April 1897 the now famous Taxil called a press conference and confessed to the fraud. Nevertheless, some are still not convinced. Fundamentalist Comic book artist Jack Chick was inspired to write one of his famous tracts on the subject.

Beyond the Taxil Hoax, Albert Pike writes about Lucifer in Moral and Dogma

“”Lucifer, the Son of the Morning! Is it he who bears the Light, and with its splendors intolerable blinds feeble, sensual, or selfish Souls? Doubt it not!” (p. 321)

Most Masons believe that Pike was referring to deliberate mistranslations in the King James Bible and how Lucifer originally meant the morning light (a designation presently reserved for Jesus) or the planet Venus.

The George Washington statue designed by Horatio Greenough was initially installed in the US Capitol’s Rotunda but was relocated to the Smithsonian Museum of American History in 1908 due to controversy caused not by Washington’s similar posture to occultist Eliphas Levi’s depiction of Baphomet, but because of Georgie’s bare chest.

Horatio Greenough's George Washington

Horatio Greenough’s George Washington

Levi’s Baphomet

Levi’s Baphomet

Christian Fundamentalists and Roman Catholics often point out the pagan elements found within Freemasonry’s symbols and rituals, but this would also be true of Christianity itself… (i.e. Yule as the origin of Christmas, Spring Solstice as the origin of Easter) hardly a case to support Masonic worship of the Beast.

No.4 Judeo-Masonic Conspiracy

Jewish Elders of Zion and the Freemasons are involved in a conspiracy to completely exterminate all Goyim

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The Judeo-Masonic conspiracy is rooted in the Protocols of the Elders of Zion first published in 1905 in Russia by Sergei Nilus. The book details a joint Jewish-Freemasonic conspiracy in which the two work together to bring the end of the world. Despite the Tsar’s disapproval of the methods and attempts at confiscating copies of the Protocols, they served as a nice diversion from Russia’s recent humiliation against Japan and the book continued to circulate widely and went through many editions.

In the protocols, the Jews are the power behind the Freemasons and use the fraternity as a screen:

“SECRET MASONRY WHICH IS NOT KNOWN TO, AND AIMS WHICH ARE NOT EVEN SO MUCH AS SUSPECTED BY, THESE “GOY” CATTLE, ATTRACTED BY US INTO THE “SHOW” ARMY OF MASONIC LODGES IN ORDER TO THROW DUST IN THE EYES OF THEIR FELLOWS.

― Protocol 11

Like the Illuminati, the Elders allegedly used Masonic lodges as recruiting grounds for their own purposes:

“Meantime, however, until we come into our kingdom, we shall act in the contrary way: we shall create and multiply free masonic lodges in all the countries of the world, absorb into them all who may become or who are prominent in public activity, for these lodges we shall find our principal intelligence office and means of influence. ― Protocol 15

In 1921, The Times reporter, Philip Grave discovered that a great portion of the Protocols had been plagiarized from an Anti-Napoleon III work, The Dialogue in Hell Between Machiavelli and Montesquieu written by French artist Maurice Joly. The Dialogues themselves were later discovered to be partly plagiarize from Eugène Sue’s Les Mystères du people. Other sources for the Protocols text included Abbé Barruel’s Memoirs Illustrating the History of Jacobinism, but with the blames now attributed to the Jews, the power behind the Freemasons and anti-Semitic legends of Jews sacrificing Christian babies and poisoning well.

The book was popularized in the United States by Freemason and admirer of Nazi Germany, Henry Ford. Adolf Hitler was a firm believer in the Protocol’s legitimacy and banned Freemasonry in Germany as a result. The Protocols continue to be popular in the Middle East and was recently a best seller in Syria.

The Mason are often accused of plotting to rebuild Solomon’s Temple at the present location of the Islamic Dome of the Rock. Freemasons maintain that their rituals refer to a metaphorical temple inside each mason. They also deny Lyndon Larouche’s claim that the Freemason are attempting to gain control of Temple Mount in Jerusalem and begin building the third temple of Solomon.

No.3 Albert Pike and the Three World Wars

33 ° Freemason and Confederate Army General Albert Pike writes to Italian revolutionary leader detailing his futuristic vision of three world wars

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In a 1871 letter to revolutionary leader Giuseppe Mazzini, Albert Pike described the coming of three world wars necessary for the world to accept a unified world under Lucifer. Mazzini was himself a great supporter of a unified Italy and a United States of Europe, a precursor to the European Union. The First war would overthrow the Czars and build a “fortress of atheistic communism.” The second war would pin the Fascists against the Zionists. The third war would be fought between Islam and the Zionists. Lucifer would then rise to rule the world.

diable-batailleThe letter was brought to light by conspiracy researcher William Guy Carr who claimed the letter was on display at the British Museum in London. The Museum itself denied the claim. Carr then pointed to respected author Cardinal Rodriguez of Chili‘s The Mystery of Freemasonry Unveiled, in which, according to Carr, Rodriguez also claimed to have seen the Pike-Mazzini letter at the museum.

After verifying the quote from Rodriguez’s book, Illuminati researcher Terry Melanson discovered that it made no mention of three world wars and that furthermore, Rodriguez was referring to Dr. Battaille’s Le Diable au XIXème Siècle as being on display at the British Museum, not the Pike-Mazzini letter. Dr. Bataille was a nom de plume for hoaxer Gabriel Jogand-Pagès. (see Masonic Conspiracy #5 above)

Sample of the Pike-Mazzini letter

“The First World War must be brought about in order to permit the Illuminati to overthrow the power of the Czars in Russia and of making that country a fortress of atheistic Communism. The divergences caused by the “agentur” (agents) of the Illuminati between the British and Germanic Empires will be used to foment this war. At the end of the war, Communism will be built and used in order to destroy the other governments and in order to weaken the religions

The Second World War must be fomented by taking advantage of the differences between the Fascists and the political Zionists. This war must be brought about so that Nazism is destroyed and that the political Zionism be strong enough to institute a sovereign state of Israel in Palestine. During the Second World War, International Communism must become strong enough in order to balance Christendom, which would be then restrained and held in check until the time when we would need it for the final social cataclysm.

The Third World War must be fomented by taking advantage of the differences caused by the “agentur” of the “Illuminati” between the political Zionists and the leaders of Islamic World. The war must be conducted in such a way that Islam (the Moslem Arabic World) and political Zionism (the State of Israel) mutually destroy each other. Meanwhile the other nations, once more divided on this issue will be constrained to fight to the point of complete physical, moral, spiritual and economical exhaustion, We shall unleash the Nihilists and the atheists, and we shall provoke a formidable social cataclysm which in all its horror will show clearly to the nations the effect of absolute atheism, origin of savagery and of the most bloody turmoil.

Then everywhere, the citizens, obliged to defend themselves against the world minority of revolutionaries, will exterminate those destroyers of civilization, and the multitude, disillusioned with Christianity, whose deistic spirits will from that moment be without compass or direction, anxious for an ideal, but without knowing where to render its adoration, will receive the true light through the universal manifestation of the pure doctrine of Lucifer, brought finally out in the public view. This manifestation will result from the general reactionary movement which will follow the destruction of Christianity and atheism, both conquered and exterminated at the same time.”

Source: http://rense.com/general80/pike.htm

No.2 Propaganda Due Masonic Lodge

Italian Masonic Lodge is used as a cover to coordinate everything from terrorist bombings, massive financial frauds and drug trafficking

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The covert P2 Masonic Lodge was discovered in a 1981 police raid on Lucio Gelli’s home by Italian authorities in the aftermath of the Vatican-owned Banco Ambrosia scandal in which “God’s banker” Roberto Calvi and P2 brethren was found hanging under London’s Black Friars Bridge. Police discovered a list of over 900 P2 Lodge members which included high-ranking government officials and 43 Members of the Italian Parliament. The list also included the name of future Italian President Silvio Berlusconi and Mafia banker Michele Sindona.

The P2 Masonic Lodge was voted out of the Grand Lodge of Italy in 1974 but Gelli managed to “convince” the Grandmaster to issue his lodge another warrant. By 1981, regular Masonic lodges were eager to distance themselves from the P2 Lodge and it was officially disavowed in a Masonic Tribunal which ruled the 1974 vote valid.

The P2 Lodge was also used as a cover for Operation Gladio in which Gelli cooperated with American and British intelligence to promote fascism activities, including the 1980 Bologna railway bombing in order to prevent a communist takeover of Italy.

No.1 Illuminati Infiltration of Masonic Lodges

Adam Weishaupt’s Bavarian Illuminati infiltration and “Illumination” of European Freemasonic Lodges

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The Bavarian Illuminati was founded by Adam Weishaupt in 1776. The Following year, Weishaupt was initiated as a Freemason at the Die Loge Theodor vom guten Rat in Munich. He soon realized the potential of Masonic Lodges as recruiting grounds for his own secret society and directed members of his Order to begin Illuminating Freemasonic Lodges throughout Germany and later Europe. After the dissolution the Masonic Rites of Strict Observance at the 1782 Masonic Congress of Wilhelmsbad, Weishaupt and Baron Von Knigge were shrewdly able to snatch up old Strict Observance members and increased membership in the Bavarian Illuminati to around 3000 members. The Illuminati soon had Illuminated Lodges in France, Italy, Sweden, Belgium, Holland, Denmark, Poland, and Hungary.

The anti-clerical and anti-monarchical doctrines of the Bavarian Illuminati and other revolutionaries influenced the events leading up to the French Revolution.

“The great strength of our Order lies in its concealment; let it never appear in any place in its own name, but always covered by another name, and another occupation. None is fitter than the three lower degrees of Free Masonry; the public is accustomed to it, expects little from it, and therefore takes little notice of it. Next to this, the form of a learned or literary society is best suited to our purpose, and had Free Masonry not existed, this cover would have been employed; and it may be much more than a cover, it may be a powerful engine in our hands.”

― Proofs of a Conspiracy, John Robison (1797)

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