#squidward x eugene | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gremlingays · 5 years

Text

The spongebob movie written in a shakespearian way

i did get t! i did get t! i did get t!

dinghy ahoy.

dinghy off the p'rt boweth.

- dinghy off the p'rt boweth!

dinghy off the p'rt boweth.

- captain, dinghy off the.

- dinghy.

i did get t!

i did get t.

wh're is't?

t's right h're, captain.

i nev'r bethought i'd seeth t

with me owneth eye.

tickets to the spongebob movie!

who is't liveth in a pineapple

und'r the flote?

abs'rbent and yellow

and p'rous is that gent

spongebob squarepants

if 't be true nautical tush tush

beest something thee wisheth

spongebob squarepants

then dropeth on the deck

and flop liketh a gudgeon

spongebob squarepants

the flote. So myst'rious,

so quite quaint. So

. did wet.

our st'ry begins in bikini bottom's

popular und'rsea consume'ry

the krusty krab restaurant, wh're.

- backeth up. Backeth up.

- ho. Waiteth a minute.

- what is happening?

- prithee, settleth down.

we've did get a situation in th're

i'd rath'r not break with

till me manag'r gets h're.

behold, th're that gent is.

talketh to me, krabs.

t did start out as a simple 'rd'r:

a krabby patty with cheese.

at which hour the custom'r tooketh a biteth,

nay cheese!

receiveth ahold of yourself, eugene.

i'm going in.

taketh t easy, cousin. I'm the manag'r

of this establishment.

ev'rything's gonna beest just fine.

- i'm very much afeard h're, sir.

- thee did get a nameth?

- phil.

- thee did get a family, phil?

cometh on, phil, stayeth with me.

alloweth's heareth about yond family.

i did get a jointress

and two quite quaint children.

yond's what t's all about.

i wanteth thee to doth me a fav'r, phil.

what?

sayeth cheese.

ord'r up.

three che'rs f'r the manag'r!

hip! hip!

ho'ray!

gary, i hadst yond dreameth again.

and t's finally gonna

cometh true. The present day.

s'rry about this, calendar.

because the present day is the grand-opening

c'remony f'r the krusty krab

wh're mr. Krabs shall announceth

the new manag'r.

who is't's t gonna beest, gary?

well, alloweth's asketh mine own mure

of consecutive

employee-of-the-month awards.

spongebob squarepants.

i'm eft. Promotion.

cleanliness is next to

manag'r-liness.

i'm eft. Promotion.

spongebob!

what art thee doing in h're?

i has't to bid thee something,

squidward.

whatev'r t is,

can't t waiteth until we receiveth to w'rk?

- th're's nay showeth'r at w'rk.

- what doth thee wanteth?

i just did want to sayeth

i'll beest thanking thee

in mine own manag'rial acceptance

speech the present day.

receiveth out!

well enow. I'll seeth thee at the c'remony.

yond sounds liketh the manag'r

of the new krusty krab.

oops. Holdeth on.

- congratulations, buddy.

- oh, grant you mercy, patrick.

and tonight, aft'r mine own big promotion,

we're gonna party till we're purple.

i loveth being purple!

we're going to the lodging

wh're all the action is.

- thee cullionly not. ?

- oh, i cullionly.

goofy goob'r's ice cream

party boat!

oh, i'm a goofy goob'r, yeah

thou art a goofy goob'r, yeah

we're all goofy goob'rs, yeah

goofy, goofy, goob'r, goob'r, yeah

i'd bett'r receiveth going.

i'm eft. Promotion.

valorous luck, spongebob.

ho, behold f'r me at the c'remony.

i did get a dram hoyday f'r thee.

i'm a goofy goob'r

yeah

holla, bikini bottom!

p'rch p'rkins h're, coming

to thee liveth from in front of

the krusty krab restaurant,

f'r years the only lodging

to receiveth a delicious

and mouthwat'ring krabby patty.

until the present day, yond is.

yond's right, folks. Longtime owneth'r

mr. Krabs is opening a new restaurant

hath called the krusty krab.

first of all,

congratulations, mr. Krabs.

holla. I liketh wage.

what did inspire thee to buildeth

a second krusty krab

right next doth'r to the 'riginal?

wage.

curses!

t's not fair.

krabs is being int'rview'd

by p'rch p'rkins,

and i've nev'r coequal hadst

one custom'r!

receiveth not w'rk'd up again, plankton,

i just mopp'd the flo'rs.

oh, karen, mine own comput'r jointress,

if 't be true only i couldst has't did manage to stealeth

the secret to krabs' success,

the f'rmula f'r the krabby patty.

then people wouldst line up

to consume at mine own restaurant.

l'rd knoweth i've hath tried.

i've exhaust'd ev'ry evil planeth

in mine own filing cabinet

. from a to y.

- a to y?

yeah, a to y.

thee knoweth, the alphabet.

what about z?

- z?

- z. The lett'r aft'r y.

w, x, y,

z. Planeth z!

- h're t is, just liketh thee hath said.

- oh, knave.

t's evil.

t's diabolical.

t's lemon-scent'd.

this planeth z can't possibly faileth!

so enjoyeth the present day, mr. Krabs,

because by tom'rrow,

i'll has't the f'rmula.

then ev'ryone shall consume

at the chum bucket,

and i shall ruleth the w'rld!

all hail plankton. All hail plank. !

i'm eft. Promotion.

i bethink i did step in something.

not in something,

on someone, thee twit.

s'rry, plankton.

art thee on thy way

to the grand-opening c'remony?

nay, i am not on mine own way ov'r

to the grand-opening c'remony.

i'm busy planning to ruleth the w'rld!

well, valorous luck with yond.

i'm eft. Promotion.

no more brain than stone peat.

welcometh. Welcometh, ev'ryone,

to the grand opening

of the krusty krab.

- we hath paid $ f'r this?

- i hath paid.

anon, bef're we beginneth

with the ribbon-cutting,

i'd liketh to announceth the nameth

of our new manag'r.

yay! yeah!

yeah! anon we're talking! yeah!

aye. Well, concluded, be it.

the new manag'r is a loyal,

hard-w'rking employee.

aye.

the gross in sense choice f'r the job.

that gent's right.

a nameth thee all knoweth.

t starts with an s.

- yond's me.

- prithee welcometh our new manag'r

. Squidward tentacles.

aye! yeah!

oh, bett'r luck next timeth, buddy.

yeah! good now!

people of bikini bottom,

as the manag'r of.

spongebob.

holdeth the phoneth, folks, i'm getting an

imp'rtant news flasheth from mr. Krabs.

wend ahead, mr. K.

i'm making a completeth what

of myself?

the most embarrassing thing

thee've ev'r seen?

and anon t's w'rse

because i'm repeating

ev'rything thee sayeth

into the microphone?

oh, f'r crying out loud, spongebob,

thee didn't receiveth the job.

- what?

- thee didst not receiveth the job.

but. But wherefore?

spongebob, thou art a most wondrous fryeth cook,

but i gaveth the job to squidward

because being manag'r

is a big responsibility.

well, alloweth's visage t, that gent's m're

. mature than thee.

- i'm not

. mature?

lad, i cullionly this

in the nicest of ways,

but th're's a w'rd f'r what thou art,

and yond w'rd is.

anon, alloweth's seeth.

- d'rk?

- nay, waiteth, yond's not right. Not a d'rk.

- a goofball?

- clos'r, but nay, nay, nay.

- a ding-a-ling.

- wing nut.

a knucklehead mcspazatron.

well enow, yond's enow.

behold, what i'm trying to sayeth is,

thou art just a peat.

and to beest a manag'r,

thee has't to beest a sir.

oth'rwise those gents'd calleth t "kid-ag'r. "

thee und'rstand-ag'r?

i cullionly, thee und'rstand?

i guesseth so, mr. Krabs.

spongebob?

i'm eft. Depression.

po'r peat.

ho'ray f'r spongebob!

alloweth's heareth t f'r spongebob!

holla?

wh're'd ev'rybody wend?

didst i misseth something?

didst thee seeth mine own buttocks?

lat'r yond evening.

timeth to putteth planeth z into effect.

starting at the und'rsea castle

of king neptune.

oh, right.

the royal court is anon in session.

bringeth the prison'r f'rward.

so thee has't did confess to the crime

of touching the king's coronet.

- aye, but.

- but what?

but t's mine own job, thy highness.

i'm the royal coronet polisheth'r.

well, then i guesseth

i can't executeth thee.

- twenty years in the dungeon t is.

- daddy.

thou art free to wend.

blesseth thee, princess mindy.

mindy, how dareth thee defy me.

wherefore doth thee has't to beest so cullionly?

i am the king.

i might not but enf'rce the laws of the flote.

fath'r, i give you'd tryeth

a dram loveth and compassion

instead of these harsh punishments.

yond wouldst beest nice.

squire, cleareth the cubiculo.

i wisheth to speaketh

to mine own daught'r high-lone.

what is this, mindy?

- thy coronet?

- and what doest this coronet doth?

- cov'rs thy bald spoteth.

- t's not bald, t's

thinning.

this coronet doest much m're

than cov'r a slightly receding hairline.

nay, this coronet entitles the one who is't

wears t to beest in chargeth of the flote.

one day, thee shall weareth this coronet.

i'm gonna beest bald?

thinning!

concluded, be it, the pointeth is,

thee wonneth't weareth t

until thee learneth how to ruleth

with an iron fist.

liketh thy fath'r.

father, thy "crown".

what the. ?

mine own coronet!

someone hast stolen

the royal coronet!

i did get t. I did get t.

ho, all thee goob'rs,

t's timeth to sayeth howdy

to thy fav'rite und'rsea pignut,

goofy goob'r.

howdy, goofy goob'r!

ho, fellow goofy goob'rs.

timeth to singeth.

oh, i'm a goofy goob'r, yeah

thou art a goofy goob'r, yeah

we're all goofy goob'rs, yeah

goofy, goofy, goob'r, goob'r, yeah

good now. Receiveth t togeth'r, fusty knave.

i knoweth. I'll just stand ho bethinking about t.

ho, thee knoweth,

i actually feeleth a dram bett'r.

i coequal not rememb'r

wherefore i wast depress'd.

ho, t's the new

krusty krab manag'r.

wow, the pressure's

already setting in.

nay, pateth, thee und'rstand not.

i didn't receiveth the promotion.

what? wherefore?

mr. Krabs thinkest i'm a peat.

- what? yond's insane.

- i knoweth.

well, declaring thou art a peat,

t's liketh declaring i'm a peat.

- h're's thy goob'r meal, sir.

- i'm did suppose to receiveth a toy with this.

grant you mercy.

i'm gonna headeth home, pateth.

the celebration's off.

- art thee sure?

- yeah. I'm not in a goob'r humor.

well enow, seeth thee.

and h're's thy triple

goob'rb'rry sunrise, sir.

triple goob'rb'rry sunrise, i understand you not?

i guesseth i couldst useth one of those.

anon thou art talking.

ho, waiteth'r, we needeth

anoth'r one ov'r h're.

th're thee wend.

knave, pateth, yond hitteth the spoteth.

- i'm humour bett'r already.

- yeah.

waiteth'r, alloweth's receiveth

anoth'r round ov'r h're.

oh, mr. Waiteth'r. Two m're, prithee.

waiteth'r.

oh, waiteth'r.

waiteth'r.

- waiteth'r!

- wherefore doth i at each moment receiveth the nuts?

good now, folks, this one goeth out

to mine own two bestest cater-cousins

in the whole w'rld:

patrick and this big pignut guy.

t's a dram ditty hath called

. "wait'r!"

ho. Ho, receiveth up.

ho, cometh on, buddy.

i wanna wend home.

cometh on, pal.

oh, mine own headeth.

hark to me. T's in the m'rning.

wend scrapeth up thy cousin

and receiveth going.

mine own cousin?

patrick. Ho, what's up, buddy?

waiteth, thee hath said :.

i'm late f'r w'rk.

mr. Krabs is gonna beest.

mr. Krabs.

anon, payeth attention, squidward.

as new manag'r, thee've gotta keepeth

a sharp eye out f'r paying custom'rs.

yawneth.

what's this? king neptune is riding

toward the krusty krab at lunchtime.

that gent's did get wage.

stayeth in the coacheth, daught'r.

this wonneth't taketh longeth.

daddy, prithee.

i bethink thou art ov'rreacting.

silence, mindy.

i knoweth what i'm doing.

- squire.

- aye, thy highness.

has't this pole execut'd betimes.

a hundr'd and one dollars

f'r a krabby patty?

with cheese, mr. Squidward,

with cheese.

greeting, subjects.

i seeketh the one known

as eugene krabs.

may that gent presenteth himself

to me betimes.

i'm eugene krabs, thy highness.

wouldst thee liketh to 'rd'r something?

nay! i'm on to thee, krabs!

thee has't stolen the royal coronet,

thee cannot deny.

f'r, clev'r as thou art,

thee hath left one damning piece of evidence

at the scene of the crime.

"i did steal thy coronet.

signed, eugene krabs. "

relinquish the royal coronet

to me betimes.

but. But this is crazy. I didn't doth t.

ahoy, this is eugene krabs.

leaveth a message.

good morrow, mr. Krabs. This is clay,

the guy thee did sell neptune's coronet to.

yeah, i just did want to sayeth

grant you mercy again f'r selling me the coronet.

neptune's coronet.

i did sell t to a guy in shell city,

and i just did want to sayeth grant you mercy again

f'r selling me the coronet.

neptune's coronet.

which is anon in shell city.

goodbye.

thee not just misprise wrong numb'rs?

mine own coronet is in

the f'rbidden shell city?!

planeth z. I loveth planeth z.

prepareth to burneth, krabs.

waiteth, neptune.

prithee, i'm begging thee.

i ain't a crook.

asketh anyone, those gents'll vouch f'r me.

v'ry well, then.

bef're i turneth this conniving

crustacean into fishmeal,

who is't h're hast aught to sayeth

about eugene krabs?

i've did get something to sayeth

about mr. Krabs.

spongebob, me knave,

thee've cometh just in timeth.

- pardon me, misseth.

- prithee, bid king neptune

all about me.

i has't w'rk'd f'r mr. Krabs

f'r many years

and at each moment bethought

that gent wast a most wondrous boss.

thee seeth? a most wondrous boss.

i anon realizeth

yond that gent's a most wondrous big j'rk!

i des'rve yond manag'r's job!

but thee didn't giveth t to me,

because thee sayeth i'm a peat.

well, i am -p'rcent sir!

and this sir hast did get

something to sayeth to thee.

th're. I bethink i madeth mine own pointeth.

anyone else?

nay? well, then.

me gaskins art on fireth!

me und'rwear's on fireth!

i'm on fireth!

oh, yeah.

and anon, eugene krabs, thee shall.

waiteth.

i'm flatt'r'd thee wouldst doth this

on mine own account,

but being manag'r

isn't w'rth killing mr. Krabs ov'r.

quiet, fooleth! mr. Krabs did steal mine own coronet,

and anon t's in shell city.

- yond's wherefore that gent might not but kicketh the bucket.

- doesn't t seemeth a dram harsh

to killeth someone ov'r a coronet?

thee und'rstand not. Mine own coronet

is a symbol of mine own king-like auth'rity.

and between thee and me

. mine own hair is thinning a did bite.

oh, thy highness, i'm sure t's not

yond noticeth. Bald. Bald.

- bald! bald!

mine own eyes!

good now, good now.

king neptune, sir?

wouldst thee spareth mr. Krabs' life

if 't be true i wenteth to receiveth thy coronet backeth?

thee, wend to shell city?

nay one who is't's gone to shell city

hast ev'r hath returned.

what maketh thee bethink thee couldst?

thou art just a peat.

but i'm not a peat. I can doth t.

runneth 'long, i has't a crab to cook.

nay! i wonneth't alloweth thee.

v'ry well, then.

i'll has't to fryeth thee both.

daddy, stand ho t.

can't thee receiveth through one day

without executing someone?

mindy. I toldeth thee

to stayeth in the carriage.

wh're's thy loveth and compassion?

behold at this dram guy.

that gent's willing to risketh his life

to findeth thy coronet and saveth his boss.

- but, daught'r, i.

- prithee, fath'r?

at least alloweth that gent tryeth.

what has't thee did get to loseth?

might i remindeth thee

of thy special problem?

- bald! bald! bald!

- bald!

- bald! bald!

- mine own eyes!

good now.

v'ry well, mindy.

i'll giveth that gent a chance.

but at which hour thy dram champion

fails to returneth,

i receiveth to splatt'r this crab

all ov'r the walls.

and as f'r thee, beest backeth h're

with mine own coronet in jump ten days.

- that gent can doth t in nine.

- eight.

- seven.

- six.

- patrick!

six t is, then.

- five.

- patrick, dun's the mouse.

until then, the crab shalt remaineth

frozen wh're that gent anon stands.

nay, waiteth. I'm begging thee.

who is't did turn on the ac? mr. Krabs!

oh, nay, this is t'rrible.

who is't's gonna signeth mine own paycheck?

cometh 'long, mindy.

hark, thee guys, the road

to shell city is very much dang'rous.

th're's crooks, killeth'rs

and monst'rs ev'rywh're.

and what's w'rse,

th're's a giant cyclops

who is't guards the outskirts of the city

and preys on innocent flote creatures.

alloweth not that gent catcheth thee,

because if 't be true that gent doest,

that gent'll taketh thee backeth to his lair,

and thee'll nev'r beest seen again.

the lady's purty, spongebob.

h're, taketh this.

what's in h're?

t's a magical container of winds.

- i did steal those folk from mine own fath'r.

- thou art hot.

once thee findeth the coronet,

ope the container of winds

and thee'll beest blown backeth home.

- mindy!

- i'm coming.

- valorous luck, spongebob.

- waiteth. How didst thee knoweth mine own nameth?

oh, i'm gonna beest

queen of the flote one day.

i've learn'd the names

of all the flote creatures.

what's mine own nameth?

yond's easy. Thou art patrick star.

- mindy!

- i gotta wend. I believeth in thee guys.

grant you mercy, mindy.

w'rry not, mr. Krabs.

patrick, squidward and i.

passeth.

- patrick and i.

- good morrow

. art gonna receiveth yond coronet backeth

and saveth thee from neptune's wrath.

thee've did get nothing to w'rry about.

thy life is in our hands.

patrick, alloweth's wend receiveth yond coronet.

- feast thy eyes, patrick.

- what is't?

the patty wagon.

mr. Krabs uses t

f'r promotional reasons.

alloweth me showeth thee

some of its features.

sesame-se'd finish,

steel-belt'd pickles,

grilled-leath'r int'ri'r.

and und'r the hood,

a fuel-inject'd french-fry'r

with dual ov'rhead greaseth traps.

- wow.

- yeah, wow.

ho, i bethought thee didn't has't

a driv'r's licenseth.

thee needeth not a licenseth

to driveth a sandwich.

- shell city, h're we cometh!

ding-a-ling.

ho th're, fusty buddy. Freezeth.

one secret f'rmula to wend, prithee.

nay, nay, ado not yourself.

i'll receiveth t.

well, i'd liketh to hangeth 'round,

but i've did get krabby patties to maketh

. ov'r at the chum bucket.

planeth z, i loveth thee.

oh, i'm a goofy goob'r, yeah

thou art a goofy goob'r, yeah

we're all goofy goob'rs, yeah

goofy, goofy, goob'r, goob'r, yeah

filleth h'r up, prithee.

what'll t beest, fellas,

mustard 'r ketchup?

art those gents laughing at us?

nay, patrick,

those gents're laughing next to us.

wh're thee two dumb kids

headed, concluded, be it?

- kids?

- anon, patrick.

f'r thy inf'rmation,

we art not kids, we art men.

and we're off to receiveth

king neptune's coronet in shell city.

- shell city?

ain't yond the lodging yond's did guard

by a killeth'r cyclops?

yond's right.

lloyd, taketh off thy coxcomb in respect.

respect f'r the dead!

thee two dipsticks ain't gonna lasteth

ten seconds ov'r the county line.

oh, yeah? we'll seeth about yond.

out of the car, fellas.

how many seconds wast yond?

twelve.

- in thy visage.

yond's what i'm talking about. Yeah.

who is't's the peat anon?

those gents're dead.

p'rch p'rkins h're

with an incredible news flasheth.

plankton is selling krabby patties

at the chum bucket.

how is this possible? alloweth's findeth out.

grise right up. Plenty f'r ev'rybody.

colours me, plankton.

p'rch p'rkins, bikini bottom news.

- can i receiveth a minute?

- aught f'r thee, p'rch.

all of bikini bottom wanteth to knoweth,

how didst thee receiveth the krabby patty?

well, p'rch, bef're mine own lief cousin

eugene krabs

wast frozen by king neptune.

i'm s'rry.

that gent confid'd in me a secret wisheth.

"sell the krabby patty in mine own absence

at the chum bucket," that gent hath said.

"don't alloweth the flame kicketh the bucket out. "

by the way, act anon and thee receiveth

a free chum bucket bucket helmet

with ev'ry purchaseth.

h're thee wend, p'rch.

- grant you mercy.

- bucket helmets f'r ev'ryone!

mine own helmet!

karen, baby, i haven't hath felt this giddy

since the day thee did agree

to beest mine own jointress.

i nev'r did agree.

evil planeth z is w'rking p'rfectly.

nothing can stand ho me anon.

nothing except spongebob

and his pink cousin.

mine own sens'rs betoken

yond those gents're going aft'r the coronet.

if 't be true those gents maketh t backeth, neptune might

discov'r some fing'rprints.

tiny fing'rprints.

stubby, tiny fing'rprints.

evil planeth z

is way ahead of thee, baby.

i've already hir'd someone

to taketh careth of those two.

that gent's a vicious,

cold-blood'd predat'r.

sesame se'd.

ho, humour'r.

doest yond coxcomb taketh ten gallons?

- going on.

- yeah. Yeah.

- moving on.

- just keepeth going.

yup.

gonna receiveth yond coronet.

oh, yeah.

- good now.

yeah. Vict'ry.

- art we th're yet?

- we wilt beest closeth by anon.

patrick, behold. We're doing most wondrous!

shell city's only five days hence.

by car.

i wisheth we still hadst our car.

spongebob, behold.

our car!

- the key.

- wh're doth thee bethink t is?

th're t is, pateth. The key!

anon, how art we gonna receiveth t?

i knoweth. Walketh in and asketh that gent f'r t.

what art thee looking at?

- patrick, yond's a t'rrible idea.

- s'rry.

i knoweth. I'll wend in and maketh

a distraction, and thee receiveth the key.

waiteth. I wanna doth the distraction.

well enow. I guesseth t very much doesn't matt'r

who is't doest the distraction.

thee seeth me walking backeth. ?

can i has't ev'rybody's attention?

i has't to useth the bathroom.

t's right ov'r th're.

no more brain than stone contacts. Oh, th're t is.

i bett'r wend washeth t off.

patrick. Thee calleth yond a distraction?

well, i hadst to wend to the bathroom.

well, i did get mine own hands filthy

f'r nothing.

patrick, checketh t out.

- ho'ray!

- bubbleth party!

ho!

who is't did blow this bubbleth?

thee all knoweth the rules!

all bubble-blowing babies

shall beest flung out senseless

by ev'ry able-bodi'd patron

in the bar.

yond's right! so who is't did blow t?

so nobody knoweth.

- haply t wast.

- break thee off!

somebody in h're ain't a real sir.

thee! we're on a baby hunteth.

and bethink not we knoweth not

how to we'd those folk out.

anon, ev'rybody line up.

dj, timeth f'r the testeth.

nay baby can intermit

singing 'long to this.

spongebob, t's the

goofy goob'r theme song.

i knoweth.

oh, i'm a goofy goob'r, yeah

thou art a goofy goob'r, yeah

we're all goofy goob'rs, yeah

goofy, goofy, goob'r, goob'r, yeah

- t wast thee! thou art the baby!

- nay, nay! i only did cough, i gage.

dj! turneth t up loud'r!

singeth not 'long, patrick.

i'm trying.

trying so hard.

i'm a goofy goob'r, yeah

thou art a goofy goob'r, yeah

we're all goofy goob'rs, yeah

goofy, goofy, goob'r, goob'rs, yeah

well, well, well.

which one of thee babies wast t?

- t wast that gent.

- that gent didst t.

i've nev'r coequal eaten at.

goofy, goofy, goob'r, goob'rs, yeah

well, looks liketh we did get ourselves

a doubleth baby.

sir, yond wast a closeth calleth.

guesseth what i did get.

the key!

too lacking valor spongebob's not h're

to enjoyeth spongebob not being h're.

m'rning.

some people has't nay gust

in headgear.

babies too?

colours me, misseth,

but wh're is ev'rybody

getting yond h'rrid headwear?

who is't hath said yond?

down h're.

well, i did get t at the chum bucket.

plankton's giving those folk hence free

with ev'ry krabby patty.

chum bucket? free? krabby patty?

plankton? giving? with?

so thou art selling

krabby patties, plankton?

yond's right, squidward.

and th're's a free bucket helmet

with ev'ry purchaseth.

careth f'r one?

nay. Thee may has't hoodwink'd

ev'ryone else in this backwat'r town,

but thee can't blinking idiot me.

i hark to public radio.

- and what's yond did suppose to cullionly?

- t means thee setteth up mr. Krabs.

thee did steal the coronet

so neptune wouldst freezeth that gent

and thee couldst finally receiveth thy stubby

dram paws on the krabby patty f'rmula.

t wast thee all 'long.

but thee madeth one fatal mistaketh.

thee mess'd with mine own paycheck.

and i'm gonna rep'rt thee

to the highest auth'rity in the landeth,

king neptune!

we'll seeth about yond,

inspecteth'r looselips.

anon activating helmet

brain- controleth devices.

what?

all hail plankton.

- what's going on h're?

- all hail plankton.

seize that gent, slaves!

all hail plankton.

i'm getting out of h're!

all hail plankton.

who is't can stand ho me anon?

who is't?

- cometh on, pateth, one m're timeth.

- well enow.

we're on a baby hunteth. And bethink not

we knoweth not how to we'd those folk out.

"we'd those folk out. "

what a j'rk.

the road's getting kind of bumpy h're.

thee knoweth, spongebob,

th're's a lesson to beest learn'd

from all of this.

what's yond, patrick?

a bubble-blowing doubleth baby

doesn't belongeth out h're

in sir's state.

yeah. Waiteth.

we did blow yond bubbleth.

doesn't yond maketh us

a bubble-blowing doubleth baby?

ho, behold, free ice cream!

oh, knave!

how thee doing?

waiteth a minute.

spongebob!

yeah?

maketh mineth a chocolate!

did get thee cov'r'd. Two, prithee.

c'rtainly.

thee kids enjoyeth.

actually, we're men,

mistress, but grant you mercy.

well enow, patrick, alloweth's.

thee can alloweth wend anon.

i hath said, alloweth wend, prithee.

what is this?

what kind of fusty mistress art thee?

didst thee receiveth the ice cream?

grise on t, patrick!

ho!

thee may not knoweth t, cowboy,

but we did get a ruleth 'round h're

about blowing bubbles.

all bubble-blowing babies

shall beest flung out senseless by ev'ry

able-bodi'd.

- in bar.

- bar.

cometh on, kiddies,

has't some ice cream.

i'll alloweth thee pet mr. Whisk'rs.

jumpeth f'r t, patrick!

well, we hath lost our car again.

nev'r mind the car,

wh're's the road?

road. Road. Road.

road. R. S'rry.

th're's the road.

on the oth'r side of this

. deep, dark

. dang'rous.

- hazardous

. hazardous.

monst'r-infest'd.

yeah, monst'r-infest'd

. trench.

ho, spongebob, behold!

h're's the way down.

well, we're not gonna receiveth

the coronet standing h're.

on to shell city.

ho, behold, t's making hurtling.

spongebob?

- ho, wh're art thee going?

- i'm going home, patrick.

but what about mr. Krabs?

what about us?

we'll nev'r survive in yond trench!

thee hath said t yourself,

this is sir's state.

and alloweth's visage t, pateth. We're just

. kids.

- we're not kids.

ope thy eyes, patrick!

we bloweth bubbles, we consume ice cream.

we w'rship a dancing pignut,

f'r c'rn's sake!

we belongeth not out h're!

we doth not w'rship that gent.

thee've been wearing the same goofy

goob'r pignut party und'rpants

f'r three years straight.

what doth thee calleth yond?

w'rship?

thou art right, spongebob.

we art kids.

pulleth thy gaskins up, patrick.

- we're going home.

- but thee can't wend home.

mindy!

mindy?

- how much didst thee heareth?

- i hath heard enow.

- didst thee seeth mine own und'rwear?

- nay, patrick.

didst thee wanteth to?

behold, guys, thee may beest kids,

but thou art the only ones hath left

who is't can receiveth yond coronet.

what doth thee cullionly,

the only ones hath left?

things has't gotten a lot w'rse

since thee hath left bikini bottom.

or shouldst i sayeth planktopolis.

all hail plankton.

nay resting!

this monument celebrating mine own gl'ry

isn't gonna buildeth itself.

moveth festinate'r!

oh, mine own gosh! patrick, behold!

plankton's did turn ev'ryone

we knoweth into slaves.

squidward.

sandy.

mrs. Puff.

coequal gary.

plankton.

can't thy fath'r doth something?

mine own fath'r's too distract'd

by his bald spoteth to doth aught.

squire, shall thee hie.

so thee seeth, thee can't did quit.

the fate of bikini bottom

rests in thy hands.

- but. But we're just.

- ho. T doesn't matt'r if 't be true thou art kids.

and what's so wrong with

being a peat, concluded, be it? kids ruleth!

thee needeth not to beest a sir

to doth this.

thee just gotta believeth in yourself.

thee just gotta believeth!

- i believeth.

- yond's the spirit.

i believeth yond

ev'rybody i knoweth is a gon'r!

cometh on, guys.

guys.

guys?

oh, knave.

bethink, mindy, bethink.

yup, i guesseth thou art right.

a couple of kids couldst nev'r

survive this journey.

yond's wherefore i guesseth i'll just

has't to turneth thee into men.

thee can doth yond? how?

with mine own m'rmaid charm.

didst thee heareth yond, patrick?

the lady'll useth h'r m'rmaid charm

to turneth us into men!

ho'ray!

we're gonna beest men! we're gonna

beest men! we're gonna beest men!

valorous. Anon, alloweth's receiveth did start.

closeth thy eyes.

- art we men yet?

- not yet.

spineth 'round three times.

i bethink t's w'rking.

valorous. Anon, keepeth thy eyes did shut.

with mine own m'rmaid's charm

and mine own one tailfin,

i hest the two of thee

to turneth into men!

ope thy eyes.

i feeleth not any. Oh, mine own gosh,

patrick, thee has't a mustache!

so doth thee!

so anon yond thou art men,

can thee maketh t to shell city?

- guys.

- yeah?

i hath said, anon yond thou art men,

can thee maketh t to shell city?

heck, yeah!

- art men afraid of aught?

- heck, nay!

and wherefore?

because we're insuppressive!

- yeah!

i nev'r hath said yond.

yeah.

- patrick?

- yeah, buddy?

wherefore didst we jumpeth ov'r the edge

instead of taking the stairs?

bec.

well.

- patrick.

- art we dead?

nay. Far from t, mine own cousin.

we're safe and soundeth

at the bottom of this trench.

the mustaches w'rked!

doth thee knoweth what yond means?

we art insuppressive!

anon yond we're men

we can doth aught

anon yond we're men

we art insuppressive

anon yond we're men

we'll wend to shell city

receiveth the coronet, saveth the town

and mr. Krabs

anon yond we're men

we has't facial hair

anon yond we're men

i changeth mine own und'rwear

anon yond we're men

we've did get a manly flair

we've did get the stuffeth

we're tough enow to saveth the day

we nev'r hadst a chance

at which hour we w're kids

nay! nay! nay!

but taketh a behold at what

the m'rmaid didst

yeah, wend, pateth.

oh, yeah.

yeah, wend, spongebob.

ho'ray!

anon yond those gents're men

we can't both'r those folk

anon yond those gents're men

those gents has't becometh our cater-cousins

anon yond those gents're men

th're'll beest a joyous endeth

those gents'll passeth the testeth

and finish the quest f'r the coronet

those gents'll passeth the testeth

and finish the quest

those gents'll passeth the testeth

and finish the quest f'r the coronet

"shell city, dead ahead. "

we didst t, pateth!

we madeth t past ev'rything!

coequal the hideous,

disgusting monst'rs.

not thee guys.

thee guys art most wondrous!

well, patrick, we shouldst beest th're

in one m're v'rse.

- anon yond we're men.

- finally.

i did get thee right wh're i wanteth thee.

can i holp thee with something, sir?

nameth's dennis.

i've been hir'd to ext'rminate thee.

thou art gonna ext'rminate us?

hark, juni'r,

thee hath caught me and mine own cousin h're

in a valorous humor the present day,

so i'm gonna alloweth thee off

with a warning.

stepeth aside,

and thee wonneth't has't to feeleth

the most wondrous wrath

of our mustaches.

thee cullionly these?

i bethought thee still hadst a piece of salad

did stick to thy lip from lunchtime.

those gents w're fake?

of course those gents w're fake!

this is what a real mustache

looks liketh.

- is that gent a m'rmaid?

- good now. Enow gab.

what art thee gonna doth to us?

plankton wast v'ry specific.

plankton?

f'r some reasoneth,

that gent did want me to grise on thee.

grise on us?

yeah! yond way thee'll nev'r findeth out

yond that gent did steal the coronet!

p'rhaps i've hath said too much.

yond's a big boot.

w'rry not.

this shall only did hurt a lot.

bite this by the ear job!

- bigg'r boot!

- waiteth, pateth.

this bigg'r boot did save our liveth.

thanketh thee, strang'r.

strang'r?

t's the cyclops!

holp us! holp us!

saveth us, someone!

art we dead?

i bethink not so.

artificially col'r'd rocks?

i knoweth not wh're we art.

what is this?

t's some kind of mure

of psychic en'rgy.

nay, pateth, t's a giant glass bowl.

ho, th're's some gudgeon folk.

- ho, ov'r h're!

- ho! ho! ho, thee guys!

- thee guys, ho! holp!

- ho! holp!

- a dram holp h're! we're did stick in this.

- holp us out of the tank!

waiteth a second.

those gudgeon art dead.

what's that gent gonna doth with us?

oh, nay, that gent's going f'r his

evil instruments of t'rture.

glueth? google eyes?

that gent's making

a humeth'rous di'rama of

. Alexand'r clam bell?

patrick, that gent's killing flote animals and

making those folk into smelly knickknacks.

and i bethink we're next.

- thee bethink so?

- patrick! nay!

the heateth is so intense

from this lamp yond i can't moveth.

bid me about t.

this doesn't behold too valorous, patrick.

thee cullionly we're not gonna

receiveth the coronet, saveth the town

and mr. Krabs?

i coequal not bethink we're gonna

beest able to saveth ourselves, buddy.

- grant you mercy.

- mention not t.

well, t looks liketh what ev'rybody

hath said about us is true, patrick.

thee cullionly yond we're attractive?

nay, yond we're just kids.

a couple of kids

in way ov'r their heads.

we w're doom'd from the starteth.

i cullionly, behold at us.

we didn't coequal cometh

closeth to the coronet.

we alloweth ev'rybody down.

we did fail.

shell city.

yeah, we nev'r madeth t to shell city.

shell city.

jump, buddy.

yeah, the lodging we nev'r did get to.

shell city.

well enow, anon thou art starting

to bum me out, patrick.

nay, behold at the signeth.

"shell city.

marine gifts and sundries. "

shell city is a gift shopeth?

but if 't be true this is shell city,

then wh're's the. ?

- coronet.

neptune's coronet.

this is shell city.

pateth, we didst maketh t.

yeah, i guesseth we didst.

we didst good now

f'r a couple of goofballs.

i'm a goofy goob'r, yeah

thou art a goofy goob'r, yeah

we're all goofy goob'rs, yeah

goofy, goofy, goob'r, goob'r, yeah

yond's the endeth of spongebob.

cometh h're, thee.

break thee off and behold at the screen.

the bird's right. Behold.

t beest the teareth of the goofy goob'rs.

ho, we're alive.

- alloweth's receiveth yond coronet.

- right.

on three, patrick. Eft?

one, two, three.

ho, t's lighteth'r than i bethought.

what's happening?

i knoweth not. Behold!

cometh on, patrick.

alloweth's receiveth this coronet

backeth to bikini bottom.

- doth thee still has't yond container of winds?

- i sure doth.

h're thee wend.

what?

nothing. Nothing.

well enow, alloweth's wend ov'r the instructions.

alloweth's seeth, t sayeth h're, "step one:

pointeth container hence from home. "

- well enow.

- "step two: planteth feet firmly on did grind. "

- right.

- "step three:

removeth stringeth from container,

releasing the winds. "

checketh.

well, yond seemeth simple enow.

pointeth container hence from home,

feet firmly on did grind,

pulleth stringeth, releasing the winds.

good now, alloweth's doth t f'r real.

spongebob?

- nay, nay, stand ho!

- i wast lacking valor, i'm s'rry!

- prithee, container.

- i'm s'rry, i just bethought.

t wast a mistaketh!

oh, nay. How shall we ev'r receiveth

backeth to bikini bottom anon?

i can taketh thee th're.

- who is't art thee?

- i'm david hasselhoff.

- ho'ray!

so wh're's thy boat?

boat?

- wend, hasselhoff.

- next stand ho, bikini bottom.

all hail plankton. All hail plankton.

well, krabs,

thee knoweth what the present day is?

s'rry about this, calendar.

marcheth.

waiteth, yond's not right.

t shouldst sayeth

"the day yond krabs fries. "

guesseth who is't's h're.

ho'ray f'r hasselhoff!

nothing can stand ho us anon.

unidentifi'd objecteth

off the hindquart'rs.

t looks liketh

. bigg'r boot.

but how?

dennis!

didst thee misseth me?

this is the most wondrous seat in the house.

good now, neptune, alloweth's receiveth t on.

eugene krabs,

thy six-day reprieve is up,

and t is timeth f'r thee to kicketh the bucket.

prithee, i didn't doth t.

th're is nothing else i can doth.

thee can giveth spongebob and patrick

a dram m're timeth.

except giveth spongebob and patrick

a dram m're timeth.

what? mindy, shall thee buttocks out.

i wonneth't has't thee stalling

this execution.

stalling? i'm not stalling aught.

- aye, thou art.

- nay, i'm not.

aye, thou art.

thou art doing t even but now.

- i'm stalling.

- aye.

- stalling?

- stalling!

- stalling.

- stalling!

oh, knave.

anon, wh're w're we?

- patrick, runneth.

- nay.

i'm not restful of running.

if 't be true we runneth anon, we'll nev'r stand ho.

runneth, spongebob!

taketh t easy backeth th're, fellas.

spongebob, beest careful.

cometh on, peat, giveth t up.

dennis at each moment gets his sir.

nev'r!

yeah! i didst t!

thee did get guts, peat.

too lacking valor i gotta rip those folk out of thee.

i knoweth not what plankton's

paying thee,

but if 't be true thee alloweth us wend,

i can maketh t w'rth thy while.

t's gonna taketh a lot m're than.

- what is this?

- yond, sir, is five goob'r dollars.

legal tend'r at any participating

goofy goob'r.

i did get bubbles. Excit'ment at parties.

mine own eyes.

i did get thee, spongebob.

grant you mercy, buddy.

grant you mercy a lot.

yond's t.

i'm through messing 'round.

seeth thee lat'r, daws.

seeth thee.

so thee bethink

. I'm

. stalling.

wh're am i, in crazytown?

i has't hadst enow of this tush tush!

thou art to waiteth in the carriage

until the execution is done.

- but, daddy.

- anon!

nay, nay, nay!

oh, spongebob, wh'rev'r thou art,

thee bett'r hie.

well enow, fellas, this is wh're thee receiveth off.

bikini bottom's directly below.

but we'll nev'r beest able

to floateth down in timeth.

who is't hath said aught about floating?

- initiating launcheth sequence.

- what the. ?

- didst thee seeth yond?

- the controleth.

all hands on deck.

ten seconds to liftoff. Nine, eight.

eugene krabs, the timeth hast cometh.

- nay.

- aye

. six, five

. f'r thee.

- nay.

- aye

. three, two

. to fryeth.

- nay.

- aye.

-. one.

nay!

thee done valorous, hasselhoff.

thee done.

ho'ray! we madeth t.

we madeth t.

mine own coronet.

mine own quite quaint coronet!

spongebob? patrick?

i kneweth thee couldst doth t.

oh, aye. Well done, spongeboob.

s'rry to raineth

on thy parade, plankton.

oh, w'rry not about me.

mine own parade shalt beest quite dryeth

und'r mine own umbrella!

umbrella?

daddy, nay.

daddy, aye.

all hail plankton.

all hail plankton. All hail plankton.

spongebob, what hath happened?

- plankton cheat'd.

- cheated?

holdeth on th're, baldy.

oh, groweth up.

what, thee bethink this is a game

of kickball on the playground?

thee nev'r hadst a chance

to defeat me, daw.

and thee knoweth wherefore?

because thee cheated?

nay, not because i cheat'd.

because i'm an evil genius.

and thou art just a peat.

a no more brain than stone peat.

i guesseth thou art right, plankton.

i am just a peat.

of course i'm right.

well enow, neptune, timeth to killeth.

and thee knoweth, i've been through

a lot in the past six days,

five minutes,

-and-a-half seconds.

and if 't be true i've learn'd aught

during yond timeth,

t's yond thou art who is't thou art.

- yond's right. Well enow, neptune.

- and nay amount of m'rmaid charm

. 'r manag'rial promotion

. 'r some oth'r third thing

. can maketh me aught m're

than what i very much am inside:

- a peat.

- yond's most wondrous.

- anon, receiveth backeth 'gainst the mure.

- but yond's well enow.

- what? what's going on?

- because i didst

what ev'ryone hath said

a peat couldn't doth.

i madeth t to shell city,

and i did beat the cyclops,

and i did ride the hasselhoff,

and i hath brought the coronet backeth.

- good now, we receiveth the pointeth.

- so, yeah, i'm a peat.

and i'm eke a goofball.

and a wing nut.

and a knucklehead mcspazatron!

- what's going on h're?

- but most of all, i'm.

- well enow, settleth down. Taketh t easy.

- i'm. I'm.

what the scallop?!

i'm a goofy goob'r

thou art a goofy goob'r

we're all goofy goob'rs

goofy, goofy, goob'r, goob'r

putteth thy toys hence

well, all i gotta sayeth

at which hour thee bid me not to playeth

i sayeth nay way

- nay way!

- nay, nay freaking way

i'm a peat, thee sayeth

at which hour thee sayeth i'm a peat

i sayeth, "say t again"

and then i sayeth grant you mercy

- grant you mercy!

- thanketh thee v'ry much

so if 't be true thou art bethinking

yond thee'd liketh to beest liketh me

wend ahead and tryeth

the peat inside shall setteth thee free

i'm a goofy goob'r

what's happening?

his danceth moves art impressive,

but i'm in controleth.

- seize that gent!

- all hail plankton.

i'm free. I've been did free!

what?

nay!

mine own precious helmets!

his chops art too righteous.

the helmets can't dudgeon

this leveleth of rocketh 'n' rolleth.

karen, doth something.

karen?

good now, yond's the lasteth straw.

neptune, i commandeth thee to.

- h're thee wend, daddy.

- i bett'r receiveth out of h're.

behold, t's the wizard who is't did save us.

out of mine own way, daws.

cometh on, i wast just kidding.

cometh on, thee guys kneweth yond,

didn't thee?

with the helmets

and the big monuments.

wasn't yond hilarious, ev'rybody?

i shall destroyeth all of thee!

well, mindy, i has't to admiteth,

thee w're right.

thy compassion

f'r these flote creatures

did prove a most admirable trait.

without t, i wouldst has't nev'r

again seen mine own belov'd coronet.

i bethink thou art going to maketh a fine

rul'r of the flote one day.

- anon, alloweth's wend home.

- daddy,

haven't thee f'rgotten something?

what? oh, yeah.

eugene krabs,

i f'rgot to unfreeze thee.

what the. ?

i guesseth i hadst t setteth to

"real knave" ending.

oh, i'm s'rry

f'r falsely freezing thee, krabs.

and may i sayeth, sir,

thou art a v'ry lucky fellow

to has't in thy employeth

such a brave, faithful

and h'roic young lad.

- wh're is that gent, concluded, be it?

- i'm up h're.

i'm on t.

wend to that gent anon, krabs.

embrace that gent.

spongebob, me knave,

i'm s'rry i ev'r doubt'd thee.

yond's a mistaketh i wonneth't maketh again.

oh, mr. Krabs, thee fusty soft-s'rve.

and anon, spongebob,

i'm gonna doth something

yond i shouldst've done six days ago.

mr. Squidward,

front and cent'r, prithee.

i bethink we all knoweth who is't rightfully

des'rves to weareth yond manag'r pin.

i couldn't concur m're, sir.

ho'ray f'r spongebob!

waiteth a second, ev'rybody.

th're's something i needeth to sayeth first.

i just knoweth not how to putteth t.

i bethink i knoweth what t is.

aft'r going on

thy life-changing journey,

thee anon realizeth thee wanteth not

what thee bethought thee did want.

what thee very much did want

wast inside thee all 'long.

art thee crazy? i wast just gonna

bid thee yond thy flyeth is down.

manag'r! this is

the greatest day of mine own life!

thee knoweth, david hasselhoff

is a most wondrous artist.

colours me, sir.

thee folks has't to leaveth.

what? sayeth yond again, if 't be true thee dareth.

thee folks has't to leaveth.

well enow

#meme #spongebob #shitpost

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