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#stop anxiety
inkskinned · 9 months
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i got my isbn today for the book. 8 months to go. my mom and i were talking about what the next steps are. i was eating trail mix, standing on one foot, phone tucked into my ear.
"yeah," i said. "the problem is that tumblr as a market is like, not something that can be studied." there's this weird wave of nostalgia and affection for this place that came up over me: how lovely we avoid consumerism. okay, it sucks as a creator. but also? keep stickin' it to 'em.
my mother made the sound at the back of her throat that i also make, the one that means i've got an idea. "you should figure out some kind of reward for presale amounts. maybe you give out poems or a mug or a signed book or something. would your followers like that?" my mother is sweet, and kind, and i have no idea how to explain on this website you can buy someone crabs.
i put more m&ms down the hatch. i had to speak through peanuts and almonds. "if it passes 25 thousand i will print the book out in its entirety and eat it live on camera."
"oh god. no, you don't have to do that." she was anguished. "just tell them that you'd love them to read it, and that they've inspired you to write. you got started on that site, and they helped you keep going. raquel, you love these people. the community? you talk all the time about the other writers and artists and whatever else. tell them that you're hoping for their support, they'll come through."
"no," i assured her. i discovered i had dropped an m&m, but an ant had already found it, so it belonged to him now. i will let his little life have a surprise blue treasure in it, too. "i'm gonna fuckin' eat the book."
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the-rainbow-of-doom · 5 months
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(This post was sponsored by a 1+ hour commute)
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14dayswithyou · 9 days
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💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖
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For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!
The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^
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What's been added to the 3.5 version?
📺 Streamer Mode!
I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.
Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh
This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!
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⚙️ Custom Pronouns!
It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;
Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!
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💗 Choose how others perceive you!
You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.
For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!
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📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!
You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3
Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!
I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;
I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao
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📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!
You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!
Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!
I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;
It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)
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🖤 Additional Scenes Update!
Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!
If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.
After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga
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🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!
I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!
I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.
Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.
How to download and play the update?
(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!
Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)
Enjoy!!
#14 days with you#14dwy#💖 — 14 days with queue.#🖤 — updates.#🖤 — spoilers.#I'm not gonna say much about my current doxxing situation because I've got it under control now + it's being handled privately#Plus I don't wanna give it/the people involved any unnecessary attention. I just wanna announce the update and Get Back To It™️#(''it'' bein the grind 💪 It never stops lmao /silly)#OG followers will also know that these topics aren't the vibe I normally have on this blog (or any of my accounts); so I don't think I'll—#—make ANOTHER public post about the situation and bring more attention to it (when I just want everything to be over and put to rest ^^;)#However I also don't want people to think that I'm... ignoring?? the situation entirely (because gettin doxxed is a very endangering thing)#So I DO want to quickly acknowledge it here and say that it's all currently handled + I'm safe and okay + this won't stop me from—#—continuing to work on 14DWY (and other future projects). I also don't want to give these awful people more power and incentive to continue#—this kind of pathetic behaviour; so the less attention and encouragement being shown will ultimately be better in the long run :3#Aaaaaanways!! 😮‍💨#My other accounts will be restored shortly and my askbox will be opened once I feel comfortable. I'll get around to following folks—#—again in my own time; so please don't feel offended if I unfollowed you during a moment of vulnerability and anxiety!!#This is all EXTREMELY overwhelming and scary for someone with SAD/AvPD; and I /gen can't handle seeing it all over my timeline ;v;#Sorry this got ranty and personal again hjdsgjsdh T_T I said I wouldn't say much; so I'll shut up now hehe#🖤 — shut up sai.
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voiider · 1 month
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I need codependent Danny/Jason as a little treat (for me) and I love the idea of them having some sort of instant connection the moment they meet (bc ghost stuff idk)
Danny who's been dropped in Gotham with no way home (alt universe??) and he's been here for 36 hours and having a Very bad time senses a liminal being and immediately latches onto them heedless of the fact that his new best friend is shooting at some seedy guys in an alley and goes off about how stressed he is and how he can't make it back to the ghost zone and what a bad day he's been having (and it's important to note Danny is a littol ghost boy literally hanging off of Jason's neck as he floats aimlessly) and Jason is like "who are you??" And Danny is like "oh sorry I'm Danny lol" and then just continues lamenting his woes
And honestly ? This might as well happen. Nothing about this Danny guy(is he human?) gives Jason a bad vibe and tbh he's never felt more calm and level headed before so he just keeps up his usual Red Hood patrol and doesn't even think about it when he heads back to a safehouse and feeds Danny dinner (breakfast) before crashing for half the day
The only thing I actually need is Jason meeting up with the bats for some sort of Intel meeting and they're like "uhhh who's that" and Jason is like "that's Danny." And does not elaborate (very ".... What do you have there?" "A smoothie" vibes)
And it takes them a while to realize that these two have known each other for less than 12 hours and are literally attached at the hip
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Beloveds. My blorbos. Holding them gently in my hands but in my mind they are spinning at mach speeds.
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positivelyadhd · 6 months
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reminder that making time for your friends, even when you're tried and socialising feels overwhelming is important to do every so often. it's especially important to do this actually.
time alone can be good, for a time, but humans are social creatures and we need to talk to people, there's nothing wrong with that!!
sometimes the more time you spend alone the more your brain will tell you to stay alone. that's not true, you're allowed to (and should!!) see people that are important to you. sometimes that alone can be surprisingly healing.
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bloggersmap · 2 years
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Anxiety is a common term that comprises various experiences (such as fear, nervousness, apprehension, etc.) and all of us have it at some point in our lives. However, stopping anxiety attacks cause symptoms such as racing palpitations, chest pain, flushing skin, and breathing problems that might make you feel as if you were to faint or die.
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nibbelraz · 3 months
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I read a fic recently where mu qingfang was like "sometimes if we get VERY lucky, shang-shidi knows some miracle cure" and ive thinking about that in terms of 'god sqh'. Like you mention how x disciple is gonna die of the hyperdeath dying flower and your martial brother speaks in tongues to himself for a moment before stuttering and stammering his way into a 'this might work but good luck' possible cure. Reality takes a sharp turn for half a second and then when you try it, it works. He dismisses it and himself but it keeps happening. Not always, but sometimes. Often enough to be a pattern. Is he some kind of seer? Diviner? Or just divine? He's very protective of his personal rooms so you're not going to be able to get evidence either way. He keeps a garden of poisons and cures that he supplies you with personally, anyway. You're not gonna pry. Then later when everyone is screaming crying throwing up because he betrayed the sect you interrupt his demon king? Boss? Something. To be like hold up. Shang-shidi can I have an address for any emergency letters I might have to send you. Oh and also have you got a supplier for your meds in the demon realm? Hm? Oh yes very powerful demon Lord your flustered servant takes anti anxiety medicine. Yes it's a mix of herbs that forces him to be in less of a state- yes he gets worse than this. Shang-shidi don't whine I've seen you off your meds I KNOW you get stomach aches from anxiety so bad you can't work. Yes the 'category 5 tummy event' is not a secret. We know about them shang-shidi.
The category 5 tummy event he's so me 😭
The idea of Mu Qingfang just knowing that yeah Shang-Shidi most often then not probably has the cure to this Very deadly disease and doesn't bat an eye he's just like well as long as they live I GUESS.
Also the person with the balls to go staring up at this incredibly cold and dangerous demon with a straight face to tell Qinghua to take his meds
Mobei would definitely listen and take notes
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inkskinned · 28 days
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you worry the cardboard sleeve around the coffee and think about landfills and the future without straws. you are worried about prion disease and deer. you are worried about the rising temperature of mushrooms. you are worried about teflon and microplastics and carcinogens and whatever else you're being quietly lied to about.
your mother used to jokingly say you are "a worrier," which always kind of oddly hurt your feelings. you feel like a person. and besides, you've been told one-million-times that this is normal. examples get trotted out in a pony show each time: everyone gets nervous sometimes. they talk about public speaking and picturing people naked and how when they get nervous they just-get-over-it.
you run your hands down the grater of your life and feel the sharpness. you started holding your breath in tunnels as a kid, worried that if you relax, the ceiling would cave in. like years of architects and engineers weren't responsible - you, and your faith, you were responsible for the success of infrastructure. if you slipped for a moment, your whole family would be swept away under the ocean. and the problem is that it worked - no tunnel collapsed.
you once broke a coffee carafe and even though you didn't drink from it after, you worried that there had been some previous invisible micro-break that had made you drink glass particles. you stayed awake for 24 hours, constantly dreading each swallow, waiting to taste blood.
you hate being late, you worry about it. you go to grab literally just lunch with a friend - no pressure, no emergency - and you still park the car an hour early and just sit there scrolling on your phone aimlessly. maybe you just don't like surprises or change. you triple-check you locked the doors, and then go to bed, and then get up out of bed to check twice again.
a worrier. like a strange and dreadful bingo card, you collect weekly experiences. someone tells you that you're overthinking, that's 2 points. you have to physically turn around and go back in your house to check you unplugged everything, that's 1 point. spiraling about climate change or politics or the state of the world is a free space, that's basically every evening.
you worry you're being selfish and not a good person because how come you're worried about your dog's health and the itch in your eye when you know people who are really very ill or who have it worse or who are genuinely struggling. then you worry that you're being annoying by infantilizing them. then you worry that your priorities are wrong, that you should be infinitely more worried about the state of a dying planet.
you wanted to be a person, is all. you wanted to go through life in a softness, to hold the world gently and have it whisper past you. and instead you are a worrier. everything that touches you is hard and raw and sharp like diamonds.
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objectumnonsense · 6 months
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thinking this evening about robots (as usual of course) but specifically those robots who have no genitals, nor desire for them, nor really any way to experience pleasure in a "human" way. maybe they're work bots not made with sex in mind, or building-sized supercomputers with no sense of touch outside of user interface areas.
thinking about intimacy with a body (or bodies) that love in a slightly different language. metal hands holding warm flesh, digging in, with the power to tear away but the care and restraint not to. a comforting voice that surrounds and whispers sweet nothings while rooms of servers and screens hum and pulse with want want want.
will you pry away its chassis and adore its insides the same way it adores yours? tangle your fingers in its wires, pull them a little when you bring your hand away to caress its face? it's the trust it takes for it to let you in so close to its heart that makes you shiver. trace the grooves in its body, so precise and intentional in their placement; find the place where it falls apart and speed up the process.
listen to its voice glitch and skip while it tries to relay what you're doing to it. hear the mechanical keening when you reach its central processing arrays, every brush of your skin on its metal sending its thoughts into a hazy, static-filled loop of touch touch touch.
you're who gets to see it like this. who gets to make it fall apart. it's a thrill like nothing else.
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padawansuggest · 5 months
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13 yo Obi-Wan: You guys are keeping me captive 🥺
Jaster: Ob’ika, we are bringing you back to the temple to reunite with your people.
Obi-Wan: 🥺 then why am I in a cage?
Jaster: *looks pointedly at Jango covered in bite marks, bandages and a torn kute*
Jango: Jas’Buir, he’s really cute, the bites didn’t even hurt 🥺
Obi-Wan: Yeah, I’m just making friends 🥺
Jaster: *soul deep sigh* I am not letting you out of the cell so you can maul my ad again.
Jango: Buuuir, he’s just an ad’ika, lookit his ik’aad fangs, he won’t actually hurt me!
Jaster: You we’re begging me to get his fangs out of your wrist five minutes ago.
Jango: He’s just teething!!
Jaster: Jan’ika, I know you want to keep him, but he’s not even house broken yet.
Jango: Neither was I when you adopted me!! He’s chosen me! Lemme keep him!
Obi-Wan: 🥺 I will be a good boy if you stick your fingers in my enclosure 🥺
Jaster: *physically holding Jango back* No. We will revisit this when the baar’ur has given him a Xanax omfg- *dragging Jango out of the ship hold*
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foxtamer113 · 1 year
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typefacetournament · 6 months
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(Times New Bastard is not in the official running, as it is not a real font, but Anxiety has an OTF file and the required full alphabet, so it counts.)
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k-nkypills · 5 months
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I don’t think my partners understand how in the palm of their hand I am. All they have to do is say my name a certain way, call me pup/puppy, praise me or flirt with me and my cock is twitching and I’m clenching around nothing. Irl it would be worse. I’d let them do whatever they wanted to me as long as they called me good boy and held me, wanna slide inside to breed me? Hold my chin in your hand as you pull my pants down. Want head? Press your fingers against my lips and let me suck on them while calling me good boy or mutt before you take your underwear off. Need something to rut against? Call me over and pat where you want me, tell me to pull my skirt and boxers off so you can rub against my tdick. Need to take your frustrations out? Call me good mutt while you breed my pussy or facefuck me. Get jealous? Call me your pretty boy while you fuck me for as long as you want. I’d get on my hands and knees for these two in an instant no hesitation. I am foaming at the mouth I need them to breed me PLEASEEEE-
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seagreenstardust · 12 days
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Izuku “so polite I can’t even imagine calling friends by their first names even if they ask me to but I will stubbornly use Kacchan for my enemy turned rival turned friend turned ??!? until my very last dying breath” Midoriya
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lionfloss · 1 year
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i hate this one specific type of anxiety i experience where i just feel like i did something wrong. Like almost as if i did something really bad and im waiting for the consequences. and it takes me out of my headspace and im just sitting here thinking...what did i do? what am i not remembering?
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