#surprise its mostly dave

[bookwisp]

I finished reading Homestuck again, here are some of my favorite chats.

#homestuck #hs #surprise its mostly dave

[poopingonthefloor]

Davesport is Toxic NOT abusive

(((WARNING: PRETTY LONG POST UNDER THE CUT.))) I've seen some people making the claims that Davesport is comship/proship (ok well i've more seen people bitching about it) and im tired of the Davesport slander so this will be an analysis of their relationship. My motive isn't to force anyone to ship it or anything- i really dont care what you do with your life, my frustration is just when people try to make up REASONS why they don't like the ship, even though its literally canon (and not badly written). My main point is -- You can hate what you want. You don't need a reason, and it doesn't need to be bad just because you don't like it. But I will not take any slander on their ship nor any slander of people who like davesport. Davesport is absolutely toxic-- No DSAF fan would disagree. They are literally child murderers with little to no souls and literally are physically disfigured to the point they don't have the capacity to feel proper humanity anymore. You cant expect 2 men who live their lives willingly murdering and then partying in vegas to celebrate on repeat to be gentle and kind to themselves or anyone else.

However, its NOT abusive. I've seen multiple people (mostly from twitter screenshots) claim that Davesport is abusive or the way people portray it is in a fetishy or romanticizing way of abuse, when that's just not the case. I don't blame a lot of people, since a lot of it comes from reading context and intent of the artist, which not everyone is good at-- BUT I'm here to assure you that MOST people don't intend to do that much and just like to portray how their dynamic is canonically like or portray Daves obsession with Jack. Another argument I've seen (by a twitter screenshot...) is that people are comshipping Davesport because people draw Jack annoyed a lot at Dave when...thats not true? That's just Jack's personality, first off:

(From the Dave x Reader fanfic by Directdoggo)

"Jack is a bastardman not very touchy-feely. We can see this in many scenes, where Dave more or less says “I love you” and Jack responds with deflecting humour, or outright scorn. When Dave says it for the final time, this time, Jack tries to say it back, but can’t outright, only getting out: “Why is this so hard?” and “I hope you can find peace with what you’ve done.” Which Dave understood the meaning of. (Hey, better than Henry (LEGACY Jack) hearing “I love you” and proceeding to tear Dave limb from limb, huh?"

(Directdoggo describing Jack's personality)

I know it can be a little confusing to some people, but as someone who struggles with similar issues, just because he struggles to express intimately doesn't mean he can't love anything. Sometimes people are just different and communicating like that doesn't come as easily, even to the people you're closest to. To make it as easy as possible to comprehend-- He's quite literally a tsundere. (Minus the exaggerated ridiculousness in anime) He loves Dave, he just cant bring himself to say or act like it. The dismissiveness or rudeness in response to Dave's affection is not abuse, it's just a defensive response since he doesn't know how to say it back. (His way of being "shy") -- Also note its important that Dave UNDERSTANDS this about him by that point.

However Jack isn't the only thing I've seen regarding the claims that their ship is abusive-- and to debunk all of those I'm going to explain the three points that keep Davesport from being abusive, and I'll use Henry x Dave (which is what I'll call it to prevent it getting confused for FNAF willry) as an example alongside it since its super obvious why that one is messed up. Firstly, They are both bad people. By this point, Dave and Jack are murderers. It's just not surprising that they will be willing to kill each other at at least some point, considering they are willing to kill 5 year olds without remorse- and they'll both deserve it. It's only their own faults that they teamed up with the other, and it's meant to be the ultimate irony when Jack becomes even worse than Dave by "An ending". My point is- they're bad people. It's not like they're owed perfect company or would choose wholesome people to hang out with when they're literally both child murderers. Dave wasn't evil and didn't want to kill by the time he teamed up with Henry (and even after it was Henry's fault), so by that point his suffering was absolutely undeserved.

Secondly, They're lacking any specific power dynamic. Unlike Henry and Dave- whom have several levels of "Age, Father figure, and Employer", the most important one is that Henry is Dave's abuser. He manipulated him and purposefully harmed him both mentally and physically, whereas Dave never had any intention of doing either because Dave loved him and didn't want to lose him (because he had nobody else) This obviously much different with Dave and Jack, whom other than being taller and several years older than (which you can argue their 6 year age gap is weird but they didnt get to know each other till they were both older than 30 so by that point age difference doesnt rlly matter and (also theyre "mentally" like 24 and 22 canonically anyways (as much as I usually hate that argument)) Other then that they are only co-workers. This is a bit more arguable during DSAF 1, where Dave comes across more threatening and comes across like he's manipulating Jack, but I don't exactly count that because I wouldn't say theyre "shippable" or in their "situationship*" by that point (but also because them even being a ship was barely considered by the creator at that point obviously)-- whereas Dave is certainly more easily recognized as sincere to Jack in DSAF 2. Jack also is not someone who is afraid to defend himself against Dave, as shown by the fact he's willing to call out Dave's ridiculous behaviors (which is reasonable of him to do).

(Also from the Dave x reader fanfic) (I just think this specific screenshot debunks any sort of "power dynamic" claim)

My Third and Final point: There is a CHOICE involved I haven't really done much Dave defense in this post, but his defense is very simple: He is literally physically unable to comprehend guilt or conscience. Dave didn't want to murder anyone in the first place, but it was Henry who fucked with his (literal) head so much to the point he stopped being able to feel guilt. He doesn't care about murder and doing wrong because he CAN'T care. You can't really let that reflect Dave as a character when he's really not in control of himself in the first place. Now with that, that doesn't change the fact he could certainly affect and hurt people, and it's fully up to Jack as to whether or not he wants to deal with this purple man's freakish life choices and hobbies or not. And that's honestly super dependent on the ending you decide to base Jack on. Most people see the 'canon' endings to be: Gnarly ending (DSAF 1) -> An ending (DSAF 2) -> Good ending (DSAF 3) Where in all of these, Jack DOES choose to deal with Dave and basically is completely cool with murder. You don't have to follow those endings if you don't want to, but that's just typically what the modern "Davesport" is known for, but its what I'm using for my defense (considering this is a defense of both fandom and canon Davesport.) Though as opposed with Henry and Dave- Dave had no choice. Henry only ever manipulated him into thinking he did, and Henry made sure to feed this whole 'we will be a family' ideal into Dave (who never had one) so that Dave would be terrified to lose him. Jack never manipulates Dave (when teamed up with him), and Dave never manipulates Jack (tho arguable in DSAF 1 as well). They stay with each other despite all of their issues, and I believe its due to some co-dependency (imo I think Jack is also obsessed with Dave just in a different way before DSAF 3) Which isn't healthy, but not...inherently abusive.

I believe my main three points kind of cover the most of why I dont consider Davesport to be inherently a bad ship, but like I said- if you don't like it, none of that matters anyways. You dont NEED a reason to like something, and I wont try to convince you why you should ship something because I like it. Just don't hate it just because of what someone else says-- 90% of the dsaf fandom aren't comshippers, and Davesport isn't gross or "toxic /neg" just because it's not healthy. I think "Don't fetishize/romanticize literal abuse like its normal or sexy" and "We should explore more complicated and unhealthy dynamics" can and SHOULD coincide with each other!!!! I think Davesport is great because of how bittersweet it is that these two people finally found solace and acceptance in each other but couldn't get past the self-sabotaging nature of what Henry turned them both into, ultimately making it impossible to work out forever. I think embracing the Davesport makes the (kind of aged) trilogy a lot more enjoyable of an experience and I DO encourage any davesport skeptics to keep an open mind. [Pretend I wrapped this up super nicely I can never do that--- Also this is open for conversation and/or debate, and also yada yada my bad if i said something randomly terrible I have extremely poor social skills lol let me know so I dont do it again yada yada] *Also if anyone doesnt know a situationship is (at least in the context im using it in ive heard other definitions for it but its not a real word so i actually dont care) when 2(or more) people basically treat eachother like lovers but they never communicate this outright and dont technically officially date but like they treat and commit to eachother like a partner would) (So its kind of what all those people who playfully flirt and call each other their spouses as a commited running joke are in)

#this might have gotten a little messy by the second half but i've spent so long on this the words have lost their meaning #could you believe this is my second draft #ill make a tldr... #dsaf #dayshift at freddy's #dave miller #jack kennedy #dayshift at freddy's 2 #dsaf dave #dsaf dave miller #dsaf jack #old sport #dsaf old sport #dsaf william afton #dayshift at freddy's jack #dayshift at freddy's 3 #dayshift at freddys

[nekropsii]

Hi! I've recently gotten into homestuck and I've read quite a bit of it, as well as other people's blogs analyzing and criticizing the media. I've heard a Lot about Dave's arc being centered around internal homophobia and toxic masculinity, so it surprised me to hear taht you disagreed! I was wondering why you think that, and what are your thoughts on what his arc actually is? I know you don't like writing about the alpha/beta kids, so feel free to ignore this ask completely if you want. Thank you, I hope you have a great day!

Hello, Anon! I'm glad you've been having fun with Homestuck lately!! Despite its many flaws, it is a deeply compelling piece of fiction, and I'm always glad to see new eyes on it and new voices being added to the analytical sphere. To answer your question...

Personally, I have never seen what people are talking about with regards to Dave's whole character arc surrounding overcoming Internalized Homophobia and Toxic Masculinity. These are fundamentally not what his arc is about, and this is never what his arc has ever been about. I'd honestly never seen that analytical lens until after DaveKat rose into prominence (mostly due to Post-Canon's heavy featuring of the pairing), and I feel as if these things are related. It is easier to make easy-to-stomach, shippy angst out of addressing your own personal shortcomings than what Dave's arc is actually about. No shade intended. This is because...

Dave's character arc is, and always has been, about Recovering from Childhood Abuse.

This is the conflict we are made aware of in his introduction, and it's a theme that persists all throughout the story. We meet Dave as a 13 year old boy suffering some pretty extreme abuse at the hands of Bro- Physically, Mentally, Emotionally, and Sexually. Dave's home life is such an active threat that he struggles to even admit to himself that it is abuse in the first place- that's an admission that takes a level of vulnerability that he just could not afford, and it's something he's only left to truly unpack during the Meteor Arc.

I have a couple major problems with the "Toxic Masculinity and Internalized Homophobia" takes. Firstly, Toxic Masculinity is not inherent to any expression of Masculinity. The only Toxically Masculine trait we see that's applicable to Dave is that he struggles deeply with vulnerability and sincerity in his emotions. However... These don't really have anything to do with what his views on what a man is or should be. They have everything to do with the fact that he was abused by someone who punishes any display of weakness, because Bro excused his abuse with it being "Training". Secondly... Dave is Bisexual. Even if the process of Dave struggling to accept being attracted to men was a major point in the story, it would not be called Internalized Homophobia. It would be called Internalized Biphobia, because Dave is canonically Bisexual, not Gay. We have seen Dave be attracted to more women than men, and attraction to both genders was present simultaneously. It was not Compulsory Heterosexuality. If it was, it'd be actually written into the story. Bisexual people exist. This is not a Homophobic argument to make; I am literally a Gay man.

It's anthropologically fascinating how this take arose... Basically out of nowhere from my perspective, especially considering how all of Dave's most iconic dramatic lines have something to do with him having to sort through his own abuse. Does no one remember the rooftop scene between Dave and Dirk, where Dave starts telling Dirk all about the horrible way that Bro raised him, and how deeply it affected him?

If not, I'm posting the most striking part of it here.

[Homestuck, page 7749.]

... So, yeah, no. Dave's character arc is not about "Overcoming Toxic Masculinity and Internalized Homophobia". It's about Abuse. Dave is an Abuse Victim. Point blank period. Any trait even loosely attributable to the ideas of Toxic Masculinity and Internalized Homophobia are a consequence of how he was raised, and how he was abused. This does not mean that this is what his character arc is about. That just means that's included within his character arc. It's a way to show growth, not a way to define his arc in its entirety. That is legitimately not how character writing works. To claim such would be to express a remarkable amount of Tunnel Vision.

Inclusion does not equate to Totality. There is a bigger picture, and that bigger picture is Abuse Recovery.

#homestuck #homestuck meta #homestuck analysis #homestuck fandom #beta kids #beta guardians #dave strider #bro strider #cw abuse #cw child harm #dave.pdf #nekro.pdf #nekro.sms

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

hey hi hello

so

i mentioned to @thatoneandlonelyemo2005 (howdy fellow history nerd) that tattoos were really popular in the 1890s, as they were mostly used with indigenous peoples but they bled up to the royalty, and of course the rest of the world wanted to be just like them, and the electric tattoo gun was invented in 1891 so it wouldve made the process a lot less painful and we were like omg the newsies wouldve had tattoos!!!

so then we started comin up with hcs for what tattoos they would each get.

i feel like this is kind of like a more 'what tattoos would they have in a modern au' thing but like they couldve had tats in the actual time period

so far we have

jack

would get a matching one with each of his 'brothers' so a horse with crutchie to remind them of santa fe, a royal flush of cards for racer

i think he would want to do something for medda to show his appreciation for her so i came up with the comedy/tragedy masks yknow the like theater symbol

we were trying to come up with what he n davey would get, mack mentioned like dave gets a cowboy hat n jack gets a stack of books or smn? dunno give me suggestions

he would get a really pretty full sleeve of

something i havent decided yet

daveyyyy

davey seems like he would have a surprising amount of tattoos

like you look at him and you see this guy who has his collar buttoned all the way up and always wears long pants and never rolls up his sleeves but thats just to cover all the ink he has

he would get butterflies somewhere

mhm

not gonna elaborate

he would get a flock of birds, each one representing a member of his family

so like a jay for sarah, a sparrow for esther, a robin for mayer, and like a pidgeon or smn for les lmao

racer!!! racey race my boy the boy ever

i think he would get something big on his back, but he seems more of the type to have like flowers and nature things instead of like pop culture stuff

that being said he does have a colored in sonic tattoo on his leg dont get me wrong

ive seen these like

hold on lemme just get a pic its hard to explain

(not my photos lol got em off pinterest) like the classical art style and old paintings and statues seems like somethin racer would like

spink clocker

spot has wings. somwhere. whether its a big complicated pair all the way across his back and down the backs of his arms or if its just on his forearm i dont care. but he has wings somewhere.

no i do not take criticism.

he n race seem like that couple that'll get spontaneous random tattoos together

i also think he has a tattoo of a scorpion somewhere

not for any particular reason, maybe he thought it looked cool, maybe he had a pet scorpion as a kid

crutchie!!!

i literally have no clue what this man would get besides the palomino with jack hsvdjs

please send me ideas xx

send me asks with newsies you might want tattoo hcs for!! please!!! im so bored!!!!

#newsies #92sies #zeph's thoughts #livesies #spot conlon #sprace #racetrack higgins #javey #jack kelly #davey jacobs #please send me characters xx

[darksiders-scenarios]

Pegging war?

When War finds the anonymous letter with this most heinous request, he is so taken back his eyebrows vanish into his hairline. The usually stoic warrior is at a loss for words. Dave, witnessing his protector's discomfort, decides to intervene. He drafts a response on War’s behalf:

*

"Dear Enthusiastic Admirer,

Your proposal has been received with...surprise. Unfortunately, War's calendar is as crowded as a demon horde in Vulgrim’s discount soul store: monster slaying by morning, apocalypse preventing by afternoon and sword-sharpening yoga at night.

In response to your intriguing request, War has handpicked a unique token: a demon pet rock from the shadowiest corners of the underworld, affectionately known as "Grimstone." Its glare is so intense, it's rumoured to have once made a demon lord apologise for bumping into it. But fear not! Should Grimstone's demeanour grow too intense, simply utter "Respect" thrice under the full moon—a small concession to ensure your continued, uh, safety.

It's harmless, mostly, but its glare is a gentle reminder that even the mightiest warriors appreciate a bit of personal space. We hope you understand and can direct your, let's say, "enthusiasm," elsewhere.

Cheers!

Dave (& War who’s currently teaching Grimstone not to chew on reality's fabric).  

P.S. "Boundaries for Dummies" is included for your leisure reading.

#darksiders #so it begins #my sweet boi #needs space #you perverted human

[whiskey-bumblebee]

Thank you for the other blurb, bestie 😌 I'm back because I'm insufferable and love your writing lmao 😂 another dream gift would be an array of paint and spray paint to do my paintings along with somewhere to do them. OR a huge truck with all the extra bells and whistles. (I don't care what kind of truck it is, I just really want one 😭) thanks in advance 😄

welcome back bestie! pleasure to have you 😌 please enjoy! I went for the painting option for as little as I know about instruments, I know even less about cars lol

oops! I added a whole subplot. and renovation politics commentary

divider courtesy of @tommyytalks (and isn’t it pretty!)

You're somewhat surprised to see Hotch's laptop open to a real estate website, looking at places in Fredericksburg. His house was so close to the Bureau, and easy driving distance from D.C. if he needed to go to the capital for any reason. Plus, his house was great! It was spacious, private, and as secure as a fortress (although it was lacking a moat...). You couldn't imagine him living anywhere else. More selfishly, you had hoped that he would talk to you about moving, since you had been living with him for a few months, letting the lease on your old apartment lapse.

Not wanting to seem like you'd been snooping, you don't bring it up with him, until you're at a brunch with him and some of your friends and their partners. Someone brings up the topic of investing, and you learn that one of your friends has bought a cabin in upstate New York, with the intention of renovating it and reselling it. From the pictures, you can tell it's a beautiful heritage building, and your friend points out all of the places where the ceiling is sagging, or the carpets show signs of water damage. She promises that she'll stay true to the character of the home, adding modern amenities to make the place more liveable, but otherwise focusing on returning it to its former glory.

You glance over at Hotch, and he nods, setting down his coffee.

"I've been looking at a place in Fredericksburg, it's an old loft that needs some TLC," He adds, and your friends nod. "I'd never want to leave our current place, but it could be nice to have something set up for retirement like Dave has."

Several months later, your friend has become far too attached to the property in New York to give it up. After weeks of picking out doorknobs which would be accurate for the 19th century home, ensuring the windows provided good insulation against the cold, and seeing the house blossom into something which looked much more like a home, they'd been considering the possibility of moving in.

"You could always set it up as a house museum," You comment. "They're popular in Rome, you could contact the state and ask if they'd be able to provide any funding for recovering the family's artefacts and things."

Meanwhile, you and Aaron had been doing up the loft. He asked you about which colours you thought would suit the space, whether you should leave the brick exposed or plaster the walls instead. You uncovered some beautiful wooden beams when working on the insulation in the ceiling, and decided to incorporate them into the loft's design scheme.

You're feeling sad about the prospect of renting the place out instead of living in it yourself, and when you think about how wealthy Aaron is already, the idea of charging another family to live in this home just doesn't sit well with you.

Your work picks up suddenly, with some external audit taking place, forcing you to work longer hours. You have less time for the loft, and Aaron reminds you that he's happy to pick up the slack. After all, he'd renovated his own home and found that whole process rather relaxing.

Then, weeks later, Aaron decides to treat you to a shopping trip in Fredericksburg, where there are many more options than near Quantico. Bags populate the car, mostly lingerie, some new tech you'd been needing, a couple of gourmet snacks.

He takes a turn you don't recognize as part of the route home, but you don't question it. Maybe he'd been listening to the traffic report on the radio and decided to take a different route. Before long, he's parking in front of an unimpressive building, and you give him the side eye.

"C'mon," He says, undoing his seat belt and taking the keys out of the ignition.

When you walk into the space, you realize that he's just taken you to the back side of the loft, which you didn't recognize since you'd always come in through the front.

"Oh, you finished it?" You try to muster your enthusiasm.

He nods, reaching for your hand as he leads you through it. There are some minimal furnishings; canvases, paint, lamps and lighting fixtures. A chair here or there. You look at the skylight and feel a twist in your chest. What a beautiful building.

"What do you think?" Aaron asks, his eyes gleaming.

"It's beautiful, are you renting it out to an artist?" You pick up a brush, turning it over in your fingers, glancing over the shelves stocked with turpentine, mineral oil, paints, argan oil for deep-conditioning the brushes.

He ignores your question, shrugging. Maybe he can feel your resistance, you think. Maybe he doesn't want to say any details in case I get upset.

He leads you back outside, and you notice that there's a small lot out the back you hadn't seen before. A metal shelf holds a number of bottles of spray paint in varying shades. Aaron tosses you a can, and you barely catch it, confused.

"Want to start making it your own?"

You cock your head at him. "My own?"

He presses the keys into your hands. "I'm sorry for lying to you. It's not a retirement property. I'm not going to rent it out."

"It's..."

"Your new studio," He grinned. "With an outdoor space for spray painting so you don't have to wear a respirator if you don't want to."

"Hotch," You whisper. "It's perfect."

"Not to sound cocky," He pauses. "But, I know. You designed it."

It finally clicks in your head, him acquiescing to each of your suggestions for which colours the walls should be, what kinds of lighting each part of the open-plan space needed...

You grin. "You're sneaky."

He wraps his arm around your shoulders. "When I need to be."

#aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotchner #my writing

[nauseousworld]

True story

The last time I was at the airport, I was nearing the front of the line to the women’s bathroom. I had headphones on and was spacing out. A woman tapped me on the shoulder. I turned, pulling out my AirPod to hear her.

“I—“ she gagged into her palm. “Can I get in front of you? I feel sick.”

“Oh yes!” I jumped back to make sure she had room, and so that I was out of the line of fire. The woman in line in front of me heard, and let the sick woman cut to the front.

The sick woman retched into her hand, and moaned. I could tell people in line were getting nervous. I shifted my weight from foot to foot, hoping we weren’t all going to witness her stomach contents make a violent reappearance. Mostly I was worried that viral particles would be expelled into the room from her throw up. And then I was more worried that I’d be vomiting over the next few days if I caught a stomach virus.

Just then a stall door opened. The lady coming out looked surprised, wide eyed, that this sick girl was already almost to the stall, her hand over her mouth, her face so pale it looked green. She retched into her hand, as the woman held the door open for the sick lady.

The moment she passed the threshold, we heard “Ugh!BLEEEEEEEURGH! BLLAAAAAAHH!” The woman threw up in two loud, desperate bursts. We heard some of it land on the water and some made a harsher sound when it landed on the tile of the bathroom floor.

The woman holding the stall door let go so that it gently swung shut.

“Ooooooooh— URP!!!” She moaned from inside the stall as she lost control of her sick stomach again. She knelt down on the floor, not caring that she was getting her pants wet with vomit.

“Urrrp,” she swallowed, inhaled loudly. “Uuuurp HUWEEEEEERP!!!” She spit and moaned, miserably.

Another woman, obviously pregnant, ran quickly from the back of the line and lurched forward to position herself over the trash can near the sinks and mirrors. She coughed and spit into the trashcan, taking a break to breathe deeply and moan on an exhale.

“Uuuuuuurrrr,” she burped I’ve the trashcan, mouth open, eyes closed against the sickening spinning feeling. “bLEGH! BLAUGH!!!” She threw up, her hair falling in her face as she leaned over the trash can. Her big pregnant belly was hitching with each retch. Someone else came up behind her and held her hair back, though it was too late. Her blonde hair was already stained red where her angry tummy had unleashed its contents. The pregnant woman rubbed her belly and started to turn towards the sinks, when the whole bathroom heard a “Oh GOD! “BUWEEERK!” From the sick woman in the stall.

The pregnant woman spewed, “UuuuURRRRPugh!” She tried to aim back over the trashcan but overshot it. The food and drink that had once been inside her sick belly had forcefully come up, landing all over the bathroom floor. She burped miserably and lost her battle again, burying her head in the trashcan as she blew chunks.

I was overwhelmed at that point and worried I would catch a virus if either women were sick. Their vomitus was propelled with such velocity. So I snuck into the furthest stall I could find.

I could overhear the pregnant woman, miserably beg for help: “Please go get my husband, Dave. He’s…He’s…she spit into the trash can, and hurled again. Gasping, she said, “He’s just out by the vending machines.”

A few moments later we heard,

“Susie, sweetie. Are you okay?” I peeked from the slits in the stall. She had one hand over her mouth, the other on her swollen belly, rubbing. She lightly burped, and moaned. Her husband held her and escorted her, his seasick princess who lost the battle with the waves and her tummy. “It’s okay, he reassured her.” This had been a rough pregnancy and she vomited nearly every day. He was used to helping her when she lost the fight with her intestinal system. He had emesis bags in his briefcase, car and office, ready to catch the contents of his sweeties tummy at any second.

He had a hair tie around his wrist and pulled back her stained, smelly hair.

#vomit kink #emeto

[utopianparadoxist]

Hello! I'm excited for things to come! However, I'm also wondering if you plan on editing ur blog theme anytime soon? The asks are currently magenta text on magenta with a bit of a drop-shadow, and your sidebar is plain text on a very busy background and both are difficult to read

Yeah it's sort of a mess I'm actively editing right now tbh, as I go through the midst of this Self-Realignment Ritual/Public facing Rebrand?

Its been a long time since I edited Tumblr themes so I'm doing a sloppy job of it. TBH I'd suggest people interested in my Homestuck content just use my blog as a link to the Apocryphon right now, since it's the most relevant and interesting thing I've done by far atm. Like I've said previously, I'd be happy if people just started talking about that with the #Pumpkin Path or #Pumpkin Track tag. As far as Im concerned, everything else on my blog ATM is a distraction.

Alternatively if they're looking for my analysis work, I'd suggest peeps try checking out my Medium profile. That was always where my best work was hosted; I never managed to port it all to Youtube practically and Tumblr just wasn't as good at letting me use images to supplement arguments.

I have major essays on Rose and Kanaya, Dave and Karkat, Jane Crocker and Gamzee Makara, Dirk Strider, the whole Active/Passive Class system, and Homestuck's influence from stuff like Gnosticism, The Neverending Story, and Earthbound/Mother 3 on there. Heck, there's even an essay or two on non-Homestuck subjects, like my ZEAL-published piece on BOKTAI: THE SUN IS IN YOUR HAND (2003) Of course there's also always the Youtube channel, and content should be getting started up again there relatively soon as well. By nature its also a bad idea to change branding too much on youtube, so fans of optimisticDuelist specifically can expect that house style to mostly stay the same, with maybe a surprise or two inside the framing of Youtube videos themselves (;3)

My tumblr is not exactly in a state for public consumption yet and I'm mostly using it as personal catharsis/to mess around and cope. I'm not even reblogging/posting much Homestuck, i seem to be defaulting to reblogging Boktai and other stuff like that instead atm! I don't expect that to change very much for the time being unless I start engaging with Pumpkin Path discussion or fanart, but that hasn't manifest on Tumblr basically at all yet.

So for now this Tumblr is a messy in-transition personal blog of SOME Homestuck but mostly random fandom content of stuff I love. Well. And Plenty of dude/achillean love-centric 18+ content on my sideblog that is now just for giving me an outlet to reblog stuff like that, as well.

...

Hey what if i just started taking dirkjake writing smut commissions on there? that's most of what my fanfic output was anyway--

#Homestuck #Dirkjake #Pumpkin Path #Pumpkin Track #18+ content referenced #Achillean Love #Medium #Youtube #wildlyLascivious #optimisticDuelist

[relaxxattack]

hi! it's me :) fic rec anon. things have been hard lately so i have some more stuff to recommend bc it makes me feel better. uh, this one's mostly a like, grab bag of stuff? miscellany yknow. let's get into it (also if i have any repeats of stuff you've rec'd here before then Whoops)

pilot light, pale rapture is a post-game fic about jade and her Issues. jade/davepeta. has some excellent jane work in there and is meant to imply june pre-transition. i'd also like to recommend this author's other work, including the collected works of the originators, and the fanventure kittyquest which you can find on mspfa. both the collected works and kittyquest are about a richly detailed take on earth C, with accompanying myths; kitty quest is about jade and davepeta's daughter kitty harley-leider. very very good.

estrogamer girl is about trans girl roxy! very sweet. gen.

METHODOLOGY AND INTERPRETIVE "RECORD" OF SOULBOT WRECK AA109.23J2 – [DRAFT] is about a post-game grad student accessing the wreckage of one of aradia's soulbots postcanon, and experiencing the feelings of a doomed timeline's aradia. ararezi, outsider pov.

who could ask you to be unbroken or brave again is a fic about rose and vriska talking about trauma and child abuse post-canon. gen.

Metronome of a Night Queen's Heart and Other Unused Romance Novel Names is a fic in which kanaya asks dave to be her bloodbag after becoming a vampire, causing rosemary and davekat misunderstandings. rosemary and davekat.

Jade: Endure is about what it would have been like for jade to grow up with her corpse in her own house. short and very good. gen.

grant me wings that i might fly is about jade english raising jake english up to her eventual death. very good. gen.

DIRK TAKES A PISS is , okay listen i know from that title oyou might be like, fic rec anon, What are you recommending to me BUT LSITEN ITS ABOUT DIRK ACCIDENTALLY DROPPING HIS PACKER ON THE FLOOR OF A BATHROOM AND GETTING MEET CUTE'D. it's good. okay. dirkjake.

one more night (your ex-lover remains dead) is a junejasprose fic about trauma and what it means to be a rose left behind. if you're going to read ANY jasprose fic you have to read this one it's literally iconic to me and changed the way i see her forever. junejasprose.

Light Without Effulgence is a jake & rose friendship manifesto and it is HILARIOUS. "rose, you gather, is like dirk if he were a woman and capable of being happy" like that's hilarious to me. gen.

Bitter is a fancomic about jade and rose and i'm not going to spoil the surprise of what it's about but it's DELICIOUS. jaderose.

CHARGING THE VOID is a space opera roserezi au with hints of vrisrezi left behind and also both rose and terezi are trans and also it's DELICIOUS like i can't even say anything about it. if anyone has read baru cormorant and is familiar with it it's like that. roserezi, unlike pretty much anything else i've recced here it DOES have a sex scene so if you're uncomfortable with that it's not for you.

think about staying alive is a kidswap au! about rose strider my favorite kidswap <3 gen.

Postscript is about rosefef, rebellion au, being the last two left alive carrying out a rebellion against the condesce. rosefef.

Transperience is about calliope and the trans experience! fancomic, gen. very good.

goddess is about june egbert coming out! can you tell i'm a june egbert Believer gsdlkjfsakldj it's gotten to the point it's hard to read fic where she's called john lmao

I'm Hoping One Day Acting Cool Will Make Me Feel More Self Assured is about kanaya maryam and the burdens of being assigned mom friend. rosemary. also she and rose have a long furby.

we are the reckless is a space opera au in which vriska's a pirate captain and aradia's a helmsman. i love the blackrom in this. aravris.

i think this is enough for rn. have fun!

AND WHEN THE WORLD NEEDED THEM MOST…

THEY RETURNED!!!

thank you so much!!!!! these all look very fun and it’s definitely appreciated TwT and kind of you!!! 💞💞💞

#fic recs #fic rec

[tree-nuts-stuff]

[SUPER OUTDATED]

Omg wowwww an intro post I'm wildin today frfr. Anyway so basically this is our intro, it has basic information about our system, the names of our frequent fronters uh here's our system main blog [ @clutteredcollective ], we haven't done like, anything on there because we wanted to make an intro post first but I had to get REALLY bored to do this, and it's hard to give information about other alters when the one co-fronting rn has never fronted before. But yeah anyway here's our intro, we're super cool and interesting. I'm gonna post this exact same post on the system main as well, so tada. Finally connecting my blogs omggg. Gotta be proud of meee. Also, if any others that aren't listed here post on this blog or Anomaly Ridden, then it's up to them if they wanna tag their name, if they don't idk, Idrc it's their comfort. Just don't be surprised if you see some unfamiliar names (mostly Daves /h)

- Jackson ⚰️

(p.s. I linked my Carrd to my name in the intro area I spent days on it, it's so cool <3)

╰► 「 Corpse Cult 」

❝ Say my name and his in the same breath ❞`

꒰୨୧꒱┊B A S E I N F O．

> ⵌ collective age: (?)

> ⵌ body age: 18

> ⵌ collective pronouns: it/he/they

> ⵌ type: adaptive

꒰୨୧꒱┊F R E Q U E N T F R O N T E R S ．

> ⵌ Jackon | it/its | ⚰️

> ⵌ Special interests: Death, Dating sims, Marvel, Homestuck

> ⵌ Side blogs: @our-life-postings, @creep-impasta

> ⵌ DNI: Beta/Alpha kid shippers, problematic ships (homestuck specific)

> ⵌ Dirk | he/him | ⚔️

> ⵌ Dave | he/they | 🍎

> ⵌ Special interests: hanahaki disease

> ⵌ TG | he/they | ☕

> ⵌ Special interests: beatboxing

> ⵌ Side blogs: @cool-guy-username

> ⵌ Techno | he/pig/crown | 👑

> ⵌ DS | he/bird/doom | 🪶

> ⵌ Special interests: Death, time travel

꒰୨୧꒱┊B O U N D A R I E S．

> ⵌ PDA: ➵ ask

> ⵌ Touch: ➵ ask

> ⵌ DMs: ➵ yes (only some will respond)

> ⵌ Friend Requests: ➵ yes

> ⵌ Nicknames / Petnames: ➵ depends on fronter

> ⵌ Extra Info: ➵ Some alters speak with a typing quirk, they may or may not translate but usually another alter will translate. We have MANY Striders, please refer to them by their proper names! We split very easily, it's very unfun, but our frequent fronters usually change per month, Jack and Techno are the only consistent ones. ALMOST NO ONE IS THEIR SOURCE !! DO NOT TREAT THEM LIKE THEIR SOURCE !! Some will share details from their source if they are comfortable, do not push! Some alters are in relationships with each other, most of us see each other as family, if you have a problem with either of that, bye.

BYI/DNI

BYI;

We have autism, ADHD, chronic pain, and amnesia etc. (Some people have their own health issues they may or may not share that'll impact our life and communication)

We're a system and all of the above affects us greatly.

We prefer tone tags being used, bc we have no idea what y'all are talking about usually.

We get overtly anxious communicating online and it may take us a bit to get comfortable.

Do not bring syscourse to our blog(s), we don't engage in it, you'll be blocked.

Be aware that I am pro non-traumagenic systems, as it's not my business. Don't interact with me if that bothers you.

WE REBLOG STRIDERCEST (typically not Bro/Dave as that grosses us out and invokes trauma) WE REBLOG AND TEND TO LIKE AMD MAY EVEN POST ABOUT OUR STRIDERCEST RELATIONSHIPS!!!!

DNI;

Basic DNI criteria

Xenophobic, therianphobic

Pro-zoo, MAPS, etc

❝ I dare you to say they taste the same ❞`

#tree time #yeah #system stuff #did system #system intro #plural system #member intro #kinda #intro post #finally #jackson ⚰️

[antiradqueerguy]

Its so funny when radqueers are like “antis make being antis their whole personality!” Because imo, that says more abt the person saying that then the person its directed too.

If someone genuinely can not separate the fact that others have an online presence separate from their real one (ex: that one time a rq accused me of only ever spending my time arguing with rqs jst because i had an anti rq blog and seeming genuinely surprised when i showed them photographic proof of me, in fact, having a life (i jst sent him photos of my chemistry textbooks and pottery??)), then that just tells me all that person does is exactly what they’re doing online.

yeah like i collect dolls, i just don't talk about my doll collection because that's not what my account is about, i run a anti account meaning what i post is mostly anti stuff,

(P.s if anyone wants to see my dolls ill post photos on my alt @anti-radqueer-dave )

#anti radqueer #anti

[thesinglesjukebox]

SHAKIRA AND CARDI B - PUNTERÍA

Shakira makes comments about Barbie, we make comments about Shakira... Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie you have 24 hours to release a statement about us to complete the circle...

[5.62]

Harlan Talib Ockey: “Puntería” is a no-thoughts-head-empty ode to sex. Without context, it’s fun, but it’s hard to forget that it just doesn’t have anything like the righteous fury of “Bzrp Music Sessions” or the caustic groove of “Te Felicito.” Cardi puts in an MVP performance, breezily singing a third of the song herself, and it’s ultimately their chemistry that makes this worth it. [5]

Claire Biddles: This only really livens up when Shakira and Cardi sound like they're in the same room -- I'd love to hear a song where they're riffing off each other the whole way through. [5]

Leah Isobel: Something about this brings out my cynicism. None of it is bad, and some of it is quite good -- Shakira singing about her G-spot, for instance. I like the trancey "Realiti" synth in the chorus, too. But mostly when I hear this I hear an attempt to recreate "Kiss Me More," and I'm a little Kiss Me Bored. [5]

Dave Moore: It didn't seem like rocket science to just give Shakira more of the sound she perfected on her Bzrp Music Session (check), then make a mini-album out of it (check) and tack on all the great stuff she put out in the last year or so to fill out the runtime (check). But I would not have guessed the secret weapon on this particular song would be Cardi B taking to the proceedings so naturally that you start to lose track of who's singing when they start passing melody lines back and forth in the second half. So now I also want Cardi B to make a Shakira album. [8]

Will Adams: Neither disappointing nor surprising that Shaki would follow up an international smash with a redux that sands off its predecessor's edges for the palatable lite-disco of "Say So" or "Lottery" or "Kiss Me More" or (or or or or). The real crime is for a duo of performers as vibrant and charismatic as Shakira and Cardi to sound this boring. [4]

Isabel Cole: Two stars known for more dramatic modes turn up the sweetness for a frothy little bauble, like the aural equivalent of girls' night. No one sounds like they're working very hard, in a good way; they're having fun, and so am I! [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: "Say So"ification comes for even our most charismatic pop stars -- lite retro production, indistinctly horny sentiments, a vague malaise creeping up even as the beat loops jauntily. It's not bad per se -- I will hear this at parties for the next six months and bop my head along without a second of regret tied directly to the song -- but I can't help but feel like there ought to be something more; I'd rather have an ambitious failure of a crossover track (remember the Shakira-Rihanna Ska Explosion?) than a distinctly unmemorable set of pleasantries. [6]

TA Inskeep: A mildly sexy empty-calories jam that I can't remember I heard five minutes later. [6]

Nortey Dowuona: David Stewart, who is possibly a millionaire from producing a BTS song you don't know (unless you are hardcore ARMY or a person who listens to a radio station) has now created another song for Shakira you won't remember after this year (unless you are a hardcore Cardi B fan or a person who listens to a radio station). Will this one make him a billionaire? Find out on: BIG, MEGA, FORGETTABLE, RADIO SMASHER. Hosted by Cardi B. [4]

Ian Mathers: Cardi B singing in Spanish is surprisingly close to Shakira here, when she just takes a chorus near the end if I hadn't been watching the video I might not have noticed the switch until she mentions her own name. Which is not a criticism! I wish I could fit in on a Shakira song, especially a decent one like this, so neatly.  [7]

Alfred Soto: I hear voices like theirs at checkout lines and on FaceTime chats: two distinctly Hispanic lilts crashing against each other like sea spray against rock. Listening to each other is besides the point. "Puntería" reminds me of those exchanges. Pure idiomatic expression for expression's sake, it puts an arm around the listener then ignores her. [6]

Kayla Beardslee: Apparently scientists still have not found a cure to the "Say So" substitutes epidemic since I last did this bit two months ago. Everyone, our time on this planet as a species is finite: it's up to us to band together and figure out how to de-chintz the pop girl singles before it's too late. “Puntería” is an extremely average addition to the "Say So" imitators’ shelf, but having Shakira on a track will always be worth an extra point. At least I learned a new Spanish word! [6]

Katherine St. Asaph: EDITOR'S NOTE: Due to an oversight in the selection process, we have covered "Not My Fault" twice. We regret the error. [4]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#shakira #cardi b #music #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #Youtube

[ghostedglitch]

CW BLOOD and implied past abuse (if you need more things tagged shoot me an ask!)

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i’ve been working on basically only this in whatever free time i got the past few days, it’s for @davekatweek​ day 3: sadstuck, which was yesterday but we can simply pretend that i have magical calendar-shifting powers

completed august 31, 2022

edit 3/4/2024 to add image description

a two page cel shaded digitally drawn comic in shades of gray/black and red. all dave’s dialogue is written in red and resembles his angular handwriting style. all karkat’s dialogue is written in gray and resembles his messy handwriting style.

page one: karkat lies on the ground in a dark space, bleeding from scraped knees, a small cut on his cheek, and a slash to the chest. he grits his teeth and covers the slash wound with one arm, propping himself up on the other. dave (in his godtier outfit) runs up to him and shouts, “KARKAT!! are you okay?!” Karkat responds, “I’m fine! *DON’T* help me.” Dave insists, “that looks bad, just lemme look.” Karkat snaps, “I said I’m *FINE*, Dave!”

Dave persists, seen from below as if from Karkat’s point of view as Dave leans over him to get a look. Dave starts tearing up and nervously rambling: “oh my god karkat i’m so sorry its my fault i didn’t see until they already got to you and OH SHIT ok listen its gonna be fine ill get you some help ok”

Karkat, also tearing up, turns over to hide his injury and shouts, “NO!” then, in increasingly shaky words, he adds, “Don’t look! Just... leave me here.”

The next panel shows what Karkat is thinking, depicting some memories of his having to hide his blood. Once as a child with a cut on his hand as he cries. Once tearfully hiding in fear under a blanket, referencing his Pesterquest route. Once bleeding from the side and covering it with his hand, referencing the panel where he got stabbed by Jack Noir. Around the panel, Karkat’s thoughts read: “He can’t see me bleed. He can’t know. NO ONE CAN KNOW.”

The following panel shows what Dave is thinking, and shows some of his memories as well. One is of him young enough to be wearing the pointy shades and failing to avoid a slash injury to the arm. One is of him on the ground after a strife with Bro, referencing the “Bro just kicked my ass” panel from Act 3. One is of him bandaging himself up. The last one is of what presumable just happened: Dave, in his godtier outfit, sword out and pointing at an unseen adversary, defending Karkat. Dave hisses, “don’t touch him.” Behind him, Karkat holds his sickle and shouts, “Dave, wait!” Around the panel are Dave’s thoughts: “this is all my fault. i need to get him out of here. we’re not safe here. he needs help NOW.”

still panicked, dave tells karkat, “please at least let me help you up.”

page two: karkat pulls himself onto his side, sighs, and says “OK.” he takes his arm away from his injury although the blood is all over his hand now, and says, “Just please don’t freak out about my blood.” Dave is a little confused by this request but offers his hand and says, “I promise”. Karkat takes his hand and starts to get up. Dave asks, “can you stand?” Karkat replies, “I think so, it’s ju--” and is cut off by a yelp when his knees wobble and he loses balance. He doesn’t fall though because Dave quickly catches him and then kisses him. Karkat is surprised by this but not dismayed. After a moment Dave’s self consciousness catches up with him and he stands there flustered for a bit and goes, “*ahem* so...” Karkat, also blushing but mostly bleeding, reminds him, “Dave, the excruciatingly painful medical emergency.” Dave babbles, “yes, right, right, of course.”

Seen from behind, Dave supports Karkat as they start to walk away, arms around each other. Dave says, “sorry i’m just... really glad you’re not dead.” Karkat says, “Yeah? You like me alive?” Dave says, “yeah man.” to which Karkat replies, “Then let’s hurry it up before I bleed the fuck out.” Dave mumbles, “sorry, sorry. i was just so scared. it reminded me of... of before the game. i was freaking out just trying to survive and then i saw you get hit and i was... so fucking afraid i was gonna lose you. and it scared me when you resisted.” A small panel reveal that they are both crying now. Karkat responds, “Sorry. I’m sorry... I just don’t... it’s hard to let people see me like that. I guess we were both terrified out of our minds. Sorry I’m so stupid when I’m panicking and dying, ha.” Dave counters, “sorry *i’m* so stupid when i’m panickying and trying not to die.” Karkat replies, “It’s OK, Dave. I’m OK.” end description.

#homestuck #davekat #davekatweek #dave strider #karkat vantas #cw blood #cw implied abuse #cw abuse #my art #digital art #main style #main style (cel) #monochrome #it's actually dichromatic but shhh #comic #wowie i never draw this much blood

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Dirk Strider

Act 6, page 7917-7922

DAVE: damn

DAVE: and i thought our houses were pointlessly tall before

DAVE: it just doesnt stop from keep constantly getting more and more vertically enormous

DIRK: Shit is downright precipitous at this point.

DIRK: Like, upways.

DAVE: haha yeah

DAVE: we made sure as fuck not to come right out and literally describe that building as tall

DIRK: Hell yes.

DIRK: Who needs small and serviceable adjectives when the most ass-backwards way of saying a thing is right there, tantalizingly hidden within the vast ocean of language.

DIRK: Like a treasure in a huge shitty clam.

DAVE: we are way on the same page philosophically here

DIRK: Who is surprised by this?

DIRK: Zero people, is who.

DAVE: sounds like a club for losers to me

DAVE: theyre lucky they dont have any members, otherwise theyd all be lame as hell

DIRK: Yeah.

DAVE: so uh

DAVE: why do the houses need to be so tall again

DAVE: i never actually understood that

DAVE: except to reach the gates but once we all figured out how to fly and shit that became so pointless

DIRK: Yeah. After a while in the game, building kind of stopped mattering.

DIRK: Except near the end. Getting them to the top is just a point of completion.

DIRK: Then you dump the grist rig on top of it, apparently.

DIRK: That lets the thing spray out all the grist from the hoard in the planet's core, kind of like a huge oil derrick I guess.

DAVE: oh

DAVE: how do you know this

DAVE: do you guys have like a manual or

DIRK: I'm in communication with Arquiusprite.

DIRK: He's working on it now.

DAVE: so youre in communication with him like...

DAVE: RIGHT now?

DIRK: Yes.

DIRK: Via my shades.

DIRK: Which he incidentally used to be.

DIRK: Like, as a computer, which he lived inside as my Auto-Responder.

DAVE: right

DAVE: and

DAVE: uh

DAVE: why... did you make that thing again

DAVE: not that you ever told me before

DAVE: 'again' is just like a stammering tack-on to that sentence so as to try and not sound too fucking rude

DIRK: I don't think it's a rude question. It's perfectly fair to wonder what was going through my head when I made him.

DIRK: I've spent a lot of time wondering about that myself.

DAVE: so you just

DAVE: straight up programmed a copy of your brain

DIRK: There was some programming involved, but also a bit of cheating, through the mapping of a captchalogued ghost-imprint of my brain.

DIRK: I guess part of it was just about trying to understand myself.

DIRK: But I don't think I would have put it that way at the time. For a while I insisted he was meant to be a "debate partner" or some horseshit.

DIRK: I was pretty young, and had some stupid ideas.

DIRK: About irony in particular. But also a lot of mostly faux-intellectual thoughts on a wide variety of topics.

DIRK: Like philosophy, consciousness, programming, identity, history, ancient pop-culture... really it ran the full gamut of pretension.

DIRK: Not that I don't still find that stuff interesting. I'd just like to think I'm somewhat less full of shit about it all now.

DAVE: yeah me too

DAVE: i mean, about my interests and stuff

DIRK: Creating him was an interesting exercise I guess, but over the years I came to see his development as one of my biggest mistakes.

DIRK: He sort of turned into a monster. But I could never bring myself to get rid of him, or even really blame him for being an asshole, because he wasn't actually that different from me.

DIRK: Like, by definition.

DIRK: He seems alright as Arquius though. At least it keeps him busy, obsessing over his muscles, asking for milk and shit like that.

DAVE: hmm

DAVE: i guess i started some projects i regretted

DAVE: but nothin like making a milk weirdo eventually exist

DAVE: it sounds fucked up but is also kind of an awesome story in its own way

DIRK: I guess so.

DAVE: maybe im lucky i was never that good with computers

DAVE: now computer ART thats a different story

DAVE: ok it actually isnt i fuckin suck at that too

DAVE: but dammit i try my best and make some magic happen at least in my own mind so maybe thats good enough

DIRK: It certainly worked out for you in my universe.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: i DID captchalogue my own ghost brain once but i didnt know what to make of that and thought it was kinda weird so that never really went anywhere

DAVE: probably for the best

DIRK: It definitely is.

DIRK: Tinkering with your own mind, or identity or whatever... it's a dark road to go down.

DIRK: There are enough splinters of everyone running around out there as it is, just as a natural byproduct of our reality. For me in particular. Probably for you too, as a time player.

DIRK: That process doesn't need to be encouraged or fucked with.

DAVE: for real

DAVE: my bro did cool things with computers too

DAVE: i mean nothin like making a clone of his brain or anything thank god

DAVE: just some absurd bullshit with web bots and stuff mostly to help prop up his various "enterprises"

DIRK: You mean the porn stuff?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: but with puppets of course

DAVE: it was always about the puppets

DIRK: Naturally.

DAVE: he made all these porn bots that would just talk to each other in a chatroom endlessly

DAVE: all like gettin each other riled up about squishy bottoms and whatnot

DAVE: actually it was pretty entertaining to watch them go at it for hours

DAVE: i think they may have been teetering on the threshold of SOMETHING resembling self awareness?

DAVE: except they only seemed to apply that faculty to reach even more heightened states of sexual excitement for a bunch of nude soft puppets

DIRK: That sounds...

DIRK: Oddly rewarding.

DIRK: I mean, not to say he wasn't still a douche.

DIRK: But as a pastime, cultivating a group of earnest, erotic puppet-loving chatbots sounds so much more relaxing than painstakingly constructing a version of your own brain, and then arguing with it for years thereafter.

DIRK: Almost like tending to a little flock of pigeons.

DAVE: yeah you know he did some cool things

DAVE: it wasnt necessarily all inherently terrible

DAVE: things i would really appreciate under better circumstances

DAVE: he definitely had a lot of drive and also some uh "ideas" that warranted a certain amount of respect i guess

DAVE: he just

DAVE: maybe should not have been allowed near a child?

DAVE: sall im sayin

DIRK: Sounds about right.

DIRK: We really don't have to talk about him anymore though, if it is going to stir up more bad shit for you.

DAVE: nah im alright

DAVE: i think that is all mostly out of my system

DAVE: i mean not forever because i dont think thats how things work

DAVE: i just mean my venting fit is over and im probably good for another 16 years or so and i can return to being mostly deadpan and rad

DIRK: Ok.

DIRK: Well, in sixteen years, if you need someone to vent to again, let me know.

DAVE: sure

DAVE: assuming we havent been killed by like 10 jacks before that i will

DAVE: you certainly seem to be the right guy for that

DIRK: For what?

DAVE: i mean like the most suitable recipient of my hysterical fits on that particular subject

DAVE: there is no way i would ever tell karkat all that

DAVE: i mean maybe some stuff but not ALL the stuff its just too heavy

DAVE: i certainly wasnt gonna mention the stuff to rose or john or jade or whoever else

DAVE: if i was ever gonna do one of my patented acrobatic pirouettes off that particular handle to anyone it really only could have been at him

DAVE: except he was dead

DAVE: and even if he wasnt and i did say all that shit

DAVE: theres no way it would have resulted in anything resembling reconciliation

DAVE: which i think

DAVE: was something i kinda needed

DAVE: but didnt realize it

DAVE: so....

DAVE: thank you for being a really plausible stand in for him who i could rip to shreds??

DAVE: while still being basically innocent of all that terrible garbage

DAVE: so you end up sorta being like an avatar for him that is much easier to forgive

DAVE: i mean

DAVE: maybe FORGIVE isnt the right word because im not sure he deserves that and anyway it doesnt matter because hes been dead for years and at this point is just an irrelevant deceased weirdo who doesnt matter anymore

DAVE: i guess i mean coming around to a place where i dont have to feel rotten all the time anymore

DAVE: and i guess im lucky i got to blunder into a reality that just happened to have the exact right version of a dude which made that possible for me

DAVE: sorry this fuckin ramble is really getting away from me

DAVE: i have no idea if im making sense anymore

DIRK: I think I get it.

DIRK: And sure.

DIRK: You're welcome for me existing.

DAVE: hey can that be like

DAVE: the motto on our family crest

DIRK: I think it already is.

DAVE: all that melodramatic sadbabble aside

DAVE: i think its perfectly cool if youre still curious about your adult self

DAVE: and i dont mind tellin you more stuff about him if you want

DAVE: i know im still wondering about what my adult self got up to

DIRK: Yeah.

DIRK: Well like I said, any time you want to know more, feel free to ask.

DAVE: kay how about

DAVE: we do this thing

DAVE: when i met roxy we did a thing

DIRK: A thing?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: its called the lightning round

DIRK: That does sound like a Roxy thing.

DIRK: Does it by any chance involve asking a rapid-fire series of questions, some of which end up being a bit too personal or invasive?

DAVE: well yeah when she does it

DAVE: we could be chill though

DAVE: when it comes to asking about each others secret crushes and shit

DIRK: Then I guess I will disclaim in advance that I don't have any, and I don't care about yours even if you do.

DAVE: it is settled then on the fact that we are a couple of cool dudes who know where to draw the line on certain topics

DIRK: Cool.

DIRK: So how do we start.

DIRK: Whose lightning round is this, mine or yours?

DAVE: it can be yours go ahead shoot

DIRK: Ok.

DIRK: How...

DIRK: Did...

DIRK: He, um,

DIRK: Come to "adopt" you?

DAVE: i was a baby and i came down to earth on a meteor while riding a pony with a pink heart on its ass

DAVE: he found me in a crater on top of a dead pony and gave me a lil baby pair of shades that look exactly like the ones youre wearin now

DIRK: I see.

DIRK: So you decided to ditch those shades for the aviator glasses?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: years ago john got me these for my bday

DAVE: it might have been like an "ironic dare" to wear them i dont remember

DAVE: but when i got em i was like hell yeah im wearing these

DAVE: gonna rock these fuckers til the end of time

DAVE: they were ben stillers

DAVE: like literally

DAVE: they actually touched his weird sort of gaunt face in one of his films

DIRK: Wait...

DIRK: THE Stiller?

DAVE: yeah

DIRK: Incredible.

DIRK: Also, such a shame what happened to that poor man.

DAVE: wait what happened to him

DIRK: I can tell you when it's your lightning round.

DIRK: Or mine. Whatever. I'm still not sure whose lightning round it is when you're the one asking questions.

DAVE: dunno ask roxy

DIRK: Ok. Anyway, didn't mean to interrupt.

DAVE: but yeah we would send each other stuff sometimes

DAVE: me and john

DAVE: well we all would

DAVE: usually absurd birthday packages and such

DIRK: We did that too.

DIRK: Except I had to send things through time.

DIRK: Always had to figure out stuff small enough to send through the sendificator, even if it was piece by piece.

DAVE: nice

DAVE: one time it turned out we ACCIDENTALLY sent presents through time

DAVE: i mean not literally, more in a roundabout way

DAVE: we all sent john a rabbit

DAVE: but all three rabbits just turned out to be the same damn rabbit

DAVE: because of stupid time shit

DIRK: Once I deliberately and quite literally sent a rabbit through time.

DIRK: It was a robot.

DAVE: wow

DIRK: He was a loyal friend to Jane. I don't know what happened to him though.

DAVE: yeah i dunno what happened to johns rabbits either

DAVE: rabbits am i right

DIRK: I hear you, man.

DAVE: what next

DIRK: Hm.

DIRK: You say he owned Cal as well?

DAVE: yep

DIRK: Did he come down to Earth on a meteor with Cal too?

DAVE: i think so

DAVE: that was a long time ago

DAVE: kinda weird to imagine him strutting around with that puppet as a kid in the 80s

DAVE: or maybe just kinda funny actually

DAVE: he sure held on to it a long time

DAVE: must have gotten attached at a really early age and just never let go

DAVE: i guess you fell to earth with one of those things too?

DIRK: Yeah.

DIRK: But if I came to Earth on a meteor the same way you all did, then I guess I just got dunked right in the fucking ocean.

DIRK: Which makes sense. One of my earliest memories is of using Cal as a flotation device.

DIRK: So he sorta saved my life in a way. I guess I bonded with him too, the way your bro did, even if that sounds a bit stupid.

DIRK: Then again, it didn't help matters much that I lived alone in the middle of the ocean. He was my only real life friend. I mean, until I built some new ones.

DAVE: hmm wait we fucked up

DAVE: i asked you a question its not my turn

DAVE: keep firing

DIRK: Ok.

DIRK: How did your bro die?

DAVE: he died fighting one of these jacks

DAVE: at this point i almost forget which one

DAVE: no wait

DAVE: ok yeah it was the omnipotent dog one

DAVE: the jack from our session

DAVE: he was fighting like a lesser form of him and then jack got extra prototyped by dog powers and then got outmatched and stabbed with his own sword

DAVE: pretty sure davesprite was fighting with him and almost died too but then it turned out he didnt

DAVE: but now im at least 99% sure that davesprite is DEFINITELY dead and wont suddenly reappear as a stupid surprise or anything

DIRK: I hate stupid surprises.

DAVE: word

DIRK: So, you said he "trained" you.

DIRK: I'm guessing that means he knew what was coming?

DIRK: Or, some things about your future, at least?

DAVE: seems that way

DAVE: not sure what he knew or how he knew it

DAVE: all our guardians seemed to know bits and pieces of stuff and did vague mysterious things to prepare

DAVE: to this day i have no idea if he was training me to fight lord english or if he even knew who that guy was on any conscious level

DAVE: or it was more like general purpose training to be able to survive some hard shit after the end of the world happened

DAVE: youd have to ask him but thats impossible

DAVE: i do know he managed to get the drop on a meteor before i entered the game

DIRK: What?

DAVE: as far as i can tell he stood on top of it and split it in half with his sword

DIRK: Um,

DIRK: Not to be too much of a wet blanket on that rad as fuck anecdote, but that sounds kind of far fetched.

DAVE: yeah it does doesnt it

DAVE: but then again so does a baby getting dunked from space in the ocean then floating on a weird doll and then growin up by himself with no adults around

DIRK: That's not far fetched. It was pretty straightforward.

DIRK: I think I just found a building poking out of the water, climbed up, then I just started foraging for food in there like a feral infant.

DIRK: Supplies which I'm sure your adult self must have left behind for me, seeing as he clearly must have known some things about the future too.

DIRK: Speaking of which, maybe it's your turn now?

DAVE: yeah ok

DAVE: questions about me hmm lets see

DAVE: ok FIRST the fuck of all

DAVE: what happened to ben stiller

DIRK: He was deemed a heretic, and was crucified on the Washington Monument by some clowns.

DAVE: wow

DIRK: Due to his dedication to freedom and peace, he came to be seen as a martyr, and then a holy figure.

DIRK: He was left on the monument as an example to all, but thousands of faithful gathered below to gaze up at his pious, sort of gaunt face.

DIRK: For years thereafter, his followers would carve stone busts of him in his memory, capturing the piercing glare of his final expression.

DIRK: But they were all smashed to pieces by the presidential church.

DIRK: That religious movement didn't last very long.

DIRK: Rumor has it the batterwitch had a lot of experience crushing righteous insurrections.

DAVE: did my adult self get pissed about stiller

DAVE: i bet he got pissed

DIRK: Yeah. There was a whole series of final insults that led to his active rebellion, instead of just producing subversive media.

DIRK: At one point, the witch "remastered" all of his films to clean up all the shitty artifacts, and released them in stunning high-def quality all over the world, using a rational business model and everything.

DIRK: That REALLY set him off.

DAVE: what the fuck

DAVE: how fucking dare that woman

DAVE: so then he tried to kill the batterwitch right

DAVE: who is the same exact alien as the condesce in this session??

DIRK: Yes. Same one.

DIRK: And yeah, he teamed up with Rose from the same era.

DIRK: They supposedly put up a good fight, but both died.

DAVE: so...

DAVE: does john know that he is literally about to go fight betty crocker yet or what

DIRK: I have no idea.

DIRK: I really don't know John at all, or any of your friends.

DIRK: I know Jane was the heiress to the Crocker brand. Uh, obviously? It is her name after all.

DIRK: Was John the heir to that empire in his universe?

DAVE: nah

DAVE: i mean not to my or his knowledge

DAVE: he just fuckin hated that company for some reason

DAVE: i think his reason was literally as mundane as just being slightly overexposed to cake

DAVE: thats classic john though he doesnt get pissed about anything except for the absolute dumbest shit

DAVE: but i guess his instincts were right in this case

DAVE: maybe we should just

DAVE: not tell him

DAVE: that hes fightin crocker i think the poor dude has probably had enough mental breakdowns for one adventure

DAVE: we all have

DIRK: I'd like to get to know him.

DIRK: Not to mention Rose and Jade. Would have been nice to hang out and chat, in a circumstance where we weren't supposed to prepare for an imminent deadly struggle.

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: well i guess we could have hung out there a few minutes longer

DAVE: i mean you wouldnt have got much outta jade who is stuck in perma-nap mode

DAVE: just like old times i guess

DIRK: Huh?

DAVE: she used to sleep a lot

DIRK: Ah.

DAVE: but yeah there wasnt much time except for like a bunch of heys and oh nice to meet yous

DAVE: and also i think i would have still been a shitty train wreck socially if we all just hunkered down right then and there for another extensive round of freestyle paltalk

DIRK: Right, I was kind of nervous about lingering there for more than a minute too.

DIRK: Mainly because of Jake.

DIRK: I didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

DIRK: I think I have done enough of that.

DAVE: i guess jake was kinda like your john of the group huh

DAVE: wait that was a pretty dumb observation never mind

DIRK: Nah, sounds about right.

DIRK: Seems like John was your close buddy growing up, and Jake was mine.

DAVE: john and i never really had anything like a falling out

DAVE: except for not talkin to each other for a few years on account of being on a meteor and boat respectively

DAVE: but i guess you two had some buddy troubles or somethin?

DIRK: Yes. A lot of buddy troubles.

DIRK: I vaguely touched on it earlier. I was a really bad influence in his life.

DAVE: what happened

DIRK: A lot of things, that were mostly my fault.

DIRK: Basically, I think I bullied him into dating me.

DIRK: Although I had plenty of "help" from my Auto-Responder.

DIRK: There were a lot of insane plans that he hatched on my behalf.

DIRK: But in fairness, I went along with them.

DIRK: To this day, I can't really tell how much of that bullshit was his doing, and how much was mine, which I've just covered up through denial or selective memory.

DAVE: wait

DAVE: you

DAVE: you dated jake?

DIRK: Yeah.

DIRK: That didn't last long though.

DIRK: It was really lopsided and kind of forced.

DAVE: ...

DAVE: so

DAVE: you

DAVE: ...

DAVE: hmm

DIRK: What?

DAVE: nothing

DAVE: i think were breakin one of the rules here

DAVE: this tangent got too personal

DIRK: Oh yeah.

DIRK: I forgot we weren't doing that.

DIRK: Anyway, carry on. You were asking about adult Dave?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: so that covers how he died

DAVE: taking a futile stand against some unbeatable foe

DAVE: cant say im too surprised about that cause what else is even new

DAVE: what about his early life though

DAVE: guess i arrived around the same year my bro did in my universe?

DAVE: just came down on the same dead horse i rode in on

DAVE: into a world full of opportunities

DAVE: how did i get started

DIRK: His early life isn't well documented.

DIRK: There's hardly anything to read about him until he broke into show business with a few obscure projects at the turn of the century.

DIRK: It all snowballed from there.

DAVE: i guess the one thing we know for sure is i didnt find a kid in a crater and take him under my wing

DAVE: that was probably for the best

DIRK: Heh.

DAVE: actually maybe its better that most of his story is left to my imagination

DAVE: kinda like how you said you spent a lot of time thinkin about him

DAVE: filling in the gaps of his ridiculous exploits

DIRK: Right.

DIRK: There's certainly a lot of lore to work with.

DIRK: Urban legends and stuff.

DAVE: like what

DAVE: actually wait

DAVE: dont tell me

DAVE: at least not now maybe down the road it would be cool to hear some

DAVE: i think id prefer to fill in the blanks myself for a while

DAVE: really it sounds dope as hell to imagine that sort of blank canvas life

DAVE: dropped on earth as a kid in the 70s or 80s or whatever with no bossy adult to reel me in

DAVE: and just having to figure stuff out

DAVE: especially knowing that many years later it all worked out ok

DAVE: really wonder what i did

DAVE: was i like some homeless eighties ragamuffin???

DAVE: jesus christ that sounds fairly adorable if so

DAVE: maybe i slept in an alley on a bed of rubix cubes and alf merchandise

DAVE: or maybe i offered my old school rap services for food

DIRK: Like, through a shitty cardboard booth?

DIRK: You know, like the one from the fuckin' Charlie Brown comics.

DIRK: "This is what the refrance," FYI.

DAVE: yes exactly

DAVE: this sounds like exactly the life for me

DAVE: what if without a penny to my name and the wind at my back i hopped a boxcar to the big apple

DAVE: because as a dumb child i naively believed thats where they made all the apple juice

DAVE: id be sorely disappointed when i got there but it wouldnt matter because id probably scrape together a living on off off off broadway like...

DAVE: making shitty cartoons

DAVE: on stage

DAVE: and saying

DAVE: you guys

DAVE: this will be SO much funnier once the internet happens TRUST ME

DAVE: then the aristocratic patrons of fine theater just shrug and dump their shillings into my orphan hat

DIRK: It sounds to me like you've been reading up on the urban legends already.

DAVE: hahaha

DAVE: i wonder if he had like

DAVE: friends

DIRK: It sounds like he knew a lot of people, at least later in life.

DAVE: sure

DAVE: i mean im sure he knew rose at some point because obviously they teamed up

DAVE: but as fairly old people?

DAVE: it sounds as though they only knew each other as a result of their notability

DIRK: This seems likely.

DAVE: i mean more like the friends i grew up with

DAVE: he couldnt have grown up with john or jade as friends because they were already old by the time he got there

DAVE: this cool 80s kid fantasy was probably just a lot lonelier than ive been picturing in my sweet daydreams

DAVE: i didnt even have the MAYOR god what a nightmare now that i think about it

DAVE: i wonder if all he cared about was making ludicrous shit and fighting evil pastry moguls

DAVE: do you know if he had any other interests

DIRK: Like what?

DAVE: i dont know

DAVE: did you ever read any urban legends about.....

DAVE: paleontology

DIRK: Paleontology?

DAVE: yes the scientific study of dead shit

DIRK: Not that I recall.

DAVE: hmm

DAVE: i guess he probably didnt do anything with that

DAVE: what a shame

DAVE: maybe he never even got the idea since he had completely different experiences

DAVE: but if i were suddenly dropped back in the 20th century id probably look into it at some point

DAVE: i dunno how though

DAVE: i think it would be mainly like

DAVE: some sort of theraputic interest

DAVE: something relaxing to think about instead of a bunch of ironic and stupidly ambitious objectives

DIRK: Yeah, like the porn bots.

DAVE: yeah exactly

DIRK: Maybe some day, when we're both old men, you can live a quiet life tending to your fossils, and I will do the same with my dear collection of simple-minded chat robots fixated on puppet ass.

DAVE: sounds like the fucking life to me

DIRK: What was the lightning round question this stemmed from again?

DIRK: I forget.

DAVE: dunno

DAVE: maybe were tapering off with the lightning round stuff anyway and its just naturally deteriorating into regular dudechat

DIRK: Maybe.

DIRK: You sure you don't have anything else before we say it's officially deteriorated?

DAVE: k heres a curveball

DAVE: what the fuck are you wearing

DIRK: My prince gear.

DIRK: You know. Leggings, slippers, the poofy asshole pants, a hood with some sort of cloth tiara deal embedded in it.

DIRK: Basic stuff for princes, apparently.

DAVE: huh

DAVE: gotta say

DAVE: some of these god tier ensembles really are...

DAVE: something

DIRK: I thought I hated it at first.

DIRK: But over the couple hours I spent flying back, with time to think about all sorts of stuff...

DIRK: It kinda grew on me.

DIRK: The asshole pants are pretty damn comfortable, so I dunno if I even care how stupid they look.

DIRK: And I *am* kind of an asshole, after all. So who am I to complain.

DAVE: i thought the same thing about my cape outfit at first

DAVE: felt like some bozo from the renaissance festival

DAVE: like maybe i should get on a horse and sing a shitty ballad

DAVE: but then it grew on me pretty quickly

DAVE: hardly ever took it off in three years

DAVE: youre right its comfortable and theyre fuckin magic pajamas or whatever and they start to feel like part of who you are after long enough

DAVE: i mean they are supposed to last you forever right

DAVE: kinda by definition since they come along with immortality

DAVE: maybe part of their magical nature includes this insidious quality where they grow on you

DAVE: or not i dunno maybe this is bullshit and ill just wear some normal person clothes when this is all over

DAVE: what about you are you gonna wear god duds forever

DIRK: Nah. I'm sure I'll wear regular stuff again at some point.

DIRK: If a shirt with a hat on it can be deemed regular.

DAVE: im cool with deeming it as such

DAVE: yeah maybe youre right and we should all stop dressing like tools from an infinite magic slumber party for floundering teens

DAVE: and just look like standard floundering teens

DAVE: some of the getups are pretty out there

DAVE: jakes tho...

DAVE: uh

DAVE: damn??

DIRK: I...

DIRK: Yeah.

DIRK: That page costume.

DIRK: I'd have commented on it, except that would've been casting a stone through a particularly fragile glass wardrobe.

DIRK: So... I just flew away.

DAVE: yeah there was uh

DAVE: some palpable awkwardness there

DIRK: Hm.

DAVE: sorry im still

DAVE: tryin to

DAVE: like

DAVE: wrap my head around

DAVE: ...

DIRK: What?

DAVE: uh

DAVE: dammit

DAVE: ok i guess i might have to break one of our lightning round rules

DAVE: only a little tho

DAVE: i hope

DIRK: About what?

DIRK: The personal stuff?

DAVE: yeah

DIRK: That's fine.

DAVE: ok maybe im not even asking you anything

DAVE: maybe this is just a starting point to ramble to myself

DAVE: on a certain topic

DAVE: i think...

DAVE: there is a SLIGHT chance...

DAVE: i may be the biggest idiot in the world

DIRK: ?

DAVE: when it comes to understanding some things about my bro

DAVE: some pieces i never really put together

DAVE: about him

DAVE: until maybe literally right now

DAVE: which i think makes me an objective dumbass

DIRK: What does this have to do with me and Jake?

DAVE: idk

DAVE: nothin

DAVE: maybe i dont wanna ask you anything about jake

DAVE: maybe ill just keep abiding by the code of basic dude manners on that

DAVE: if i bother skirtin the line of this rule maybe id rather ask you other stuff instead

DIRK: Like what?

DAVE: like

DAVE: um

DAVE: say one of your best friends is a knucklehead you havent seen in three years

DAVE: and unless you use ultra direct and explicit language he just wont put two and two together himself

DAVE: and also say ANOTHER best friend is a girl you feel like you had kind of a special relationship with but you ALSO hadnt seen in three years

DAVE: and shes asleep

DAVE: but at some point shell wake up and youll have to talk to her

DIRK: ...

DAVE: this is dumb im not making any sense

DAVE: lemme start over

DAVE: ok lets say

DAVE: way back whenever

DAVE: howww

DAVE: ...

DAVE: how did you tell your friends

#homestuck #dave strider #dirk strider #homestuck act 6 #page 7917 #page 7918 #page 7919 #page 7920 #page 7921 #page 7922 #homestuck act 6 act 6 #homestuck act 6 act 6 intermission 5

[vinnival]

can i hear more abt nttl....i follow the blog but ive forgotten the basic plot

HI SAM,M !!!!!! OK@

HI FROG HI MEL² !! @frogdaqueerfloof @moonflwer-gutz

the premise of the whole thing is absolutely "came back wrong" trope but the "wrong" is more. arguably "just as good". yeah. Jonah came back Just As Good (now with a new power added on: shapeshifting!)

An alternate ends up killing Jonah Marshall, and taking his place- and the Sheer dumbass-ness of Jonah's personality makes the alternate completely forget what it was (sparkle OFF. it's thursday.) and turn back to save Adam.

There's also a secret second thing as to why it forgot but. I will mention that later😁👍

This was all made before volume 4 came out- so it's funny how a lot of what Jonah went through in this AU correlates really well with what happens to Adam in canon.

In this au, Adam (@nonbinarymissingno hey. writer of adam) is still human, but a bit to the left. He's more of a sleeper agent for Six, along with the 3k other kids (whom most have died off by now).

Imagine Jonah's surprise when he wakes up to go to the bathroom in the motel they're staying at, only to discover that he had to.... duck down to avoid the doorframe? Only to discover his back feels heavy/sore...? Only to discover black claws replacing his fingers and elongated limbs and oh no oh god no let this be a dream,

.

Alas! (!!)(sorry man)

Hey, at least he's. um. he's still got his best frienOh never fucking mind Alt Gabriel and 6 are rivals and that fucks it all up !! you see, "jonah" is no simple alternate; gabriel's gonna need a successor since six seems to have found a favorite of his 3k. so of course the 'angel' decides Fuck it. Let's choose the Best Friend of 6's successor to rival him. Yeah the reason why Jonah completely forgot its true form is also because it is literally the most powerful alternate in terms of shifting. "your humanity is my greatest achievement"- So On And So Forth

in one last cherry on top, your boy dave also got the same treatment as jonah but without the successor shit. got too committed to the bit, that one/hj

man I really wanna redraw th.the alt design I have for him. but ouggugu. you can see how joner looks on @tmc-notimetolive (also where we are Playing Out the events mostly how we wrote it. in the writing we did the boys have just recently returned to BPS at last but on the blog jonah is currently clueless to what he is)

There's many many other small bits of details here and there but it'd take way too long to explain out here,, plus I've already taken up enough of your time so/j

ACTUALLY YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT'S FUNNY? cyril my good friend cyril predicted the name catalyst being associated w/adam. like.

november last year!!! shoutout to him for being sick with it

#jonah marshall tmc #no time to live #jonah my belonah #yea the #jonah marshall #tmc au #this baby has been cookin for like. 7 months #there's been well over 50k words written on this btw #y'know #combined insanity #dave lee #<- i fucking guess #adam murray #<- i ALSO guess...

[goingnearlyinsane]

Tell me about homestuck

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA /pos

NOBODY'S EVER REALLY ASKED ME ABT MY INTERESTS B4, IRL OR ONLINE I'M SO HAPPYYYY

So lemme tell ya bout homestuck

so there's john, he's sort of the main character but not really. its mostly him and his buddy rose fucking around and doing absolutely nothing that will affect the plot later (I think, I'm only like 1/4 of the way through the comic) for the first 1000 pages. We're also introduced to Dave, who is Cool, and Jade, who is like, a neat scientist. Jade is also the first person to talk to the trolls. They're important later. Then at page 2000, we're formally introduced to the trolls (we've already seen like half of them through chat logs at this point). I'll tell you about them in order they appear. First is karkat, who is a mutant, and also one of the two or three most plot-relevant trolls. Then gamzee, who is a stoner and a cultist. and terezi, who is blind and lives in a treehouse. then aradia, who is dead (this comes as a surprise to no one). then sollux, who does coding and is bipolar. and tavros, who is paralyzed from the waist down and a bit timid. theres nepeta, who was raised by a cat(?). then vriska, who nobody really seems to like because she mind controls people. and she killed aradia, and blinded terezi, and paralyzed tavros. and there's equius, who makes robots, and lives right next to vriska. he also makes robots, and made aradia a robot body. he also accidentally destroyed a doomsday machine vriska made and kills both of their (his and vriskas) caregivers in the process. and thats about where i am in the story. thank you for asking!

#homestuck #Asks #Sorry for the late reply #I was at crew practice #Also I was happy stimming for like #Half an hour after I got this #No one really asks me about my interests #I just sort of tell them