#tacmc snelbz collab

[snelbz]

‘Til Death Do Us Part {Chapter Twelve}

Elorcan. Rockstar Modern AU.

@snelbz x @theladyofdeath collab

‘Til Death Do Us Part Masterlist

Elide - 

I wake up far less disoriented than I do the day before. I know exactly where I am and I know that I slept better last night than I have in a very long time.

I have to give it to Dr. Towers. She’s the relationship expert for a reason.

I roll over, expecting to find Lorcan still asleep, likely adorable with bedhead.

But he’s not there.

His side of the bed is empty, the covers folded back, but his bag is still open on top of the dresser where he’d left it last night.

My throat immediately goes dry.

Oh gods, not again.

He promised he wouldn’t leave. We’re in this together.

For better or worse.

It’s then that I smell it.

I’m out of bed and hurrying downstairs before I can think it through. I have enough control to at least slow myself before I enter the kitchen. It doesn’t matter though, because his back is to me.

And good gods, it’s a great back. I give myself a moment to appreciate it, the way his broad shoulders taper down into slim waist, which leads to his firm, tight—

“You know that I know you’re there, right?”

Busted.

Despite the flush in my cheeks, I clear my throat. “You're my husband, am I not allowed to look at you?”

He looks back, flashing me a grin. “Looking and ogling are two very different things, wife.”

Oh, sweet mother, this man is going to eat me alive.

“I woke up early and didn’t want to wake you,” he says, leaving the stove and heading for the fridge. “I went ahead and ran to the market.”

The fridge was filled with food, forcing me to wonder just how long we’d be staying in this temporary residence.

“That was sweet of you,” I confess, and I’m once again amazed how he goes from sweet to crass in a matter of seconds. “And you cook?”

“I try,” he says, but he’s smug. He pulls out a carton of orange juice and a couple of kiwis alongside a tub of strawberries. I look to the stovetop where it looks like he’s making omelets.

“I hope you like bacon,” he says, his back to me once more as he starts to cut up the fruit. “I’ve been told I put too much bacon in my omelets.”

I raise a brow. “Is there such a thing as too much bacon?”

He stills and looks over his shoulder at me once more. His eyes graze my body, making me feel naked and I realize I should have probably looked in the mirror before hurrying down the stairs. Judging by the way his eyes darken, I assume he doesn’t mind. “Good woman.”

He’s practically purring.

My heart does weird things inside of my chest.

“Need any help?” I offer as I come up beside him. Gods, it smells delicious. I can get used to this.

“If you want to get out some cups and plates I think it’s almost ready,” he says, and my stomach growls right on cue. 

“Sounds great,” I reply, taking two steps and pausing. I look at the cabinets around us. “And where can I find those?”

He laughs and comes closer, stopping right in front me and reaching into one of the cabinets behind me. After retrieving two plates, he holds them out for me. Just as I take them, he leans down to kiss me.

Slapping my hand over my mouth, I back up, clutching the plates to my chest.

Cocking his head sideways, Lorcan asks, “Is something wrong?”

“I haven’t brushed my teeth.” My words are muffled, thanks to my hand, but he hears me loud and clear.

His hand wraps around my wrist. “I don’t give a shit, Elide, I want to kiss you.”

“I give a shit,” I shoot back. “I have morning breath.”

One side of his mouth kicks up. “Don’t make me tickle you.”

My eyes widen, because he absolutely will. I know it. “Lorcan, don’t—”

He reaches for my sides and I drop my hand. “Fine!”

Wrapping an arm around my waist, he pulls me to him, kissing me fiercely. It’s not like any other kiss we’ve shared. I lean into it until the plates clatter in my arms and I jump back.

He’s looking down at me, wholly amused. Cocky bastard. 

Before I can move, he takes the plates from me and says, “Sit down, let me make you a plate.”

Half of me wants to tell him not to tell me what to do, and the other half of me wants to listen and let him take care of me. I listen to that half.

“Have you seen Anneith this morning?”

Lorcan nods as he turns off the stovetop and takes the omelets out of the skillet with a spatula. “I gave her breakfast. She’s sleeping in the window in the hallway upstairs.”

My heart melts at that. I know he’s not the biggest fan of my greatest pride and joy, but still….he gave her breakfast. After loading the plate with fruits for a side and filling our glasses, he brings it all to the table and sets a beautiful display in front of me.

It’s delicious. 

I’m tempted to moan with every bite of my omelet but I refrain, just barely. It’s filled with different meats and cheeses and peppers and spices, and when I’m done with it I wish I had another. Lorcan’s a way eyes keep darting up to see my reaction and I can tell he’s pleased. 

A man that can cook.

I consider myself lucky.

When we’re done with breakfast I offer to do the dishes. At first, he protests, but then when he sees he’s not winning that argument, he says he’ll go for a run.

When he comes back, he’s drenched in sweat and I’m sitting on the couch watching reality tv with my cat. It’s a sight to behold.

He catches me watching him, yet again, and my cheeks burn as he comes to the couch and threatens to tackle me.

“You’re disgusting! Take a shower!” Even as I laugh, I’m holding him back from the couch with my foot against his bare, damp abdomen.

His eyes trail up my leg, my thigh, and eventually land on my own eyes. “Care to join me?”

My cheeks heat and that muted throbbing between my legs intensifies. “Shut up.”

I can’t say that I’m not tempted and he knows it.

That cocky grin returns as he jogs upstairs and out of sight. Anneith is giving me a judgemental look like I should have jumped on that opportunity in a heartbeat.

“You just like him cause he fed you,” I murmur to my cat, realizing I should get ready, too. Lorcan had mentioned over breakfast that the realtor had messaged him and told him she’d found three potential houses for us to look at, with a few more on the back burner.

I can’t believe we’re doing this, that we’re actually buying a house. Technically, Lorcan is buying a house, but my name would be on it, as well. I honestly figured I’d never be able to say that.

Thirty minutes and one mouth watering glimpse of Lorcan in—gods, help me—just a towel wrapped around his waist later, we were in the car, heading down the mountain. Lorcan had typed the address into the gps on his phone and frowned at what he saw. “It’s pretty much in the city,” he says, a scowl on his face. “Seems nice though. Close to a lot of places we might want to go, but it’s half an hour from Rowan’s. It’s gated though, so there’d be no question of safety, even when I’m on the road.”

I don’t want to think about that last part, so I say, “ I guess it’s nice that it’s in the city, that means I won’t have to walk too far to get anywhere.“

Lorcan’s brow furrows. “What do you mean walk?’

I look over at him. It’s not that he’s oblivious, but I guess he really didn’t put two and two together. I live in a shoebox, make a lot of my own clothes, and ramen noodles are my main source of nutrition. My laugh sounds sad. “I don’t have a car.”

He’s staring at me, when his eyes should be firmly on the road. “How do you not have a car?”

I shrug. “I just told you. I walk everywhere or I take the bus, if I need to get across the city.”

“You’re telling me you walked everywhere? Living in that part of the city?” His eyes finally land back on the road. “We’re fixing that as soon as possible.”

Blinking, I whip my head to face him. “What? Lorcan, I don’t need a car—”

“Yes, you do.” His tone left no room for debate. “My wife sure as shit isn’t going to be walking all over the city.”

I lift a brow and cross my arms. “And if I want to walk all over the city?”

He snorts, eyes sliding back to me. “Gods, you’re stubborn. I’m offering to buy you a damn car.”

He says that like it turns him on. “I’m not stubborn, I just only need the necessities.” 

“You getting places safely instead of walking through the city at night is a necessity to me.”

If I’m stubborn, he’s more so. So I say, “Fine, but if you get me anything flashy, I’ll be causing damage to your balls.”

He mumbles something about me at least being near his balls which makes me shove him in the shoulder, but he catches my hand before I can pull it back to my side of the car.

We hold hands all the way to the house and I like how he rubs the back of my hand with his thumb. 

We pull into the gated community and I feel a mix of nerves and awe and something that’s close to being appalled. They’re mansions, there’s no doubting it. I have no idea what we’d need with so much space and I don’t even know which one it is we’ll be walking through. I can feel Lorcan peeking at me to gauge my reaction but I give him nothing. I just keep looking out the window until we pull into a driveway that looks like it’s just been poured.

Perfect landscaping lines the cement and runs up to the house that’s perfect, white, and bigger than my entire apartment building. Flowers that I would surely kill line the front of the house. There are just too many, but they’re beautiful and I suddenly remember my plants back in my apartment. I should stop by and water them.

Lorcan and I get out of the car and head for the front door. It’s cracked and Lorcan opens it wider, letting us in.

It’s…clean. Everything is white. White walls, white floors, white brick comprising the fireplace, white trim around the windows and walls.

It reminds me of a hospital.

“What do you think?”

I nearly jump out of my skin as the realtor appears from nowhere behind us, but I manage not to scream.

“Ansel, hey.” Lorcan reaches out, shaking her hand. “This is my wife, Elide.”

It’s the first time he’s referred to me as his wife and my heart does funny things.

We do the small talk thing for a few minutes. She asks how we met, we avoid the question completely, and finally, conversation returns to the item at hand.

“So,” she begins, clapping her hands together. That, coupled with the bouncy ponytail her red hair is tied up in, reminds me of a cheerleader. She gestures around the house. “I know you haven’t gotten to take a look at the entire house, but what are your first thoughts? It’s got seven bedrooms, five and a half bathrooms, an in-ground pool, and a guest house, complete with a theater.”

She looks from Lorcan to me, her mahogany eyes bright. They both seem to be waiting for me to say something. Always elegantly, I say the only thing I can think of. “Wow.”

They both laugh, and I get the feeling Ansel might be laughing at me.

“Seven bedrooms?” I ask, turning to Lorcan. “What would we even do with all that space?”

He shrugs. “Whatever we wanted. An office, a studio, a room for you to work in, the kids’ rooms—”

“Kids?” My voice comes out in a squeak. “How many kids are we planning to have? Enough to fill seven bedrooms?”

I’ve always planned on becoming a mom, but just how many times does he plan on having me get pregnant?

“Excuse us a minute,” Lorcan says to Ansel, giving her a brilliant smile.

She gives him one of her own. “Take your time, look around, I’ll be right out front if you have any questions.” I can hear her high heels as she heads for the front door.

“We don’t need all this space,” I say, holding my arms up and gesturing to the open living room around us. I know I’ve said it a few times, but my entire apartment would fit in this room alone.

“We don’t have to get a house this big, this is just the first one she’s shown us.” His hands are resting on my shoulders. “And three or four, by the way.”

I have no idea what he’s talking about. “What?”

“Kids.” I stop breathing and I can feel his thumbs brush over my skin. “I’ve always imagined having three or four kids.”

I didn’t peg him as the type that wants kids, and having multiples? I must look shocked because I 100% am. Yrene’s words about matching us on the things that matter most come back to me. Yeah, I’ve always wanted multiple kids because I was an only child and being an only child sucks. I longed for siblings when I was young.

“I see,” I say at last, once I feel him staring at me for far too long. His thumbs are still brushing along my skin, giving me comfort. I agree, quietly. “I wouldn’t mind three children.”

“Or four?” He asks, lips quirking up.

“Ask my vagina after the first three,” I mutter. At the mention of my vagina his eyes light up and I snort, shaking my head. “There’s no way I’m raising kids or even Anneith in a house that’s completely white, though.”

“When house hunting it’s important to find what you know you don’t like just as much as it’s important to find what you do like,” he says, and I wonder just how many times he’s gone looking for houses. He seems to know Ansel pretty well.

“I just want it to feel like home,” I say, and I feel vulnerable but I’m unsure why. It’s not just a house, though. This will be our home…for at least six months, anyway.

I tell myself I have to quit thinking that way, that this study may be temporary, but I didn’t sign up for a temporary husband. I signed up for life.

“I thought we were going to look outside of the city,” I remind him.

He gives me a look. “If we move outside the city, you’re definitely getting a car.”

Rolling my eyes, I shove him lightly. “I’ll take the car, you ass. But I don’t want to live in the city anymore, and I don’t want to live in a gated community. I want trees and the stars and a big porch with a swing.” I’m rambling by the end, but I look around. “This place is nice but it’s…cold. Empty. Institutional. It feels more like a museum than a home.”

“Institutional, huh?” He asks. Doing the same and taking the house in. “I can’t argue with that, it reminds me of an office building. Let’s go talk to Ansel, make sure she got my text last night, and knows to look for something in a different direction.”

As soon as we step onto the front steps, Ansel is there. “That was quick! Do you have any questions?”

Lorcan shakes his head. “We don’t like it,” he says, leaving no room for argument. “It’s too big, too contemporary. We want something cozier, more homey. Something closer to the mountains than the city. Somewhere we can raise a family.”

His hand squeezes mine and I’m not sure if he knows he subconsciously did it.

“We’d like to be in the woods,” I add, glad that Lorcan and I agree on this. Living here would be miserable.

“Oh, and we need a porch with a swing,” he advises. “Or a porch big enough for a swing. And a hot tub.” He grabs my hand as Ansel shuffles through her folder of papers.

She raises an eyebrow at his sudden laundry list. “Well, all right then. But this house is in a wonderful location. I really thought it would be perfect for you.”

“It's just not us,” he says. “Let's move on to the next one.”

Us. What is us?

The next house is almost as bad, and I'm starting to feel like this entire day is going to be spent viewing mansion after cold mansion, until we follow Ansel up a long, uphill driveway surrounded by trees. We can't even see the house from the street, but when we finally pull in front of it, my heart leaps.

I can't get out of the car fast enough to see the house up close. It's simply magical, with a big oak and white banister porch off the front of the house, surrounded by lots of flowers all in hues of blue and purple, and a stone birdbath that I'm sure Anneith would love to watch from the living room window. The house itself is sage green with all-white trim, and the view from the porch is amazing. The house is so far up on the hill that we can see the tops of the trees below us and the mountains not too far off. It's breathtaking.

Lorcan laughs as he leans an arm on the roof of the car. “There’s even a swing.”

I nod excitedly as he rounds the front of the car and takes my hand. “Look at this view,” I breathe. “It’s gorgeous.”

“I love how quiet it is, too,” he says as we walk up the porch stairs. “No annoying neighbors or traffic.”

“This house is the smallest on our list,” Ansel says, unlocking the front door. “It only has four bedrooms, but there is a finished basement with a small suite that would be great for a guest or just extra living space.”

As soon as we walk inside, I fall even further in love with its light, earth-tone painted walls, vaulted ceilings, lots of windows and natural light, another porch on the back of the house, and a small balcony off the master bedroom. It's gorgeous but comfy and doesn't scream, Hey, I'm rich and obnoxious like the other houses we looked at did.

We tour the house in silence except for the occasional gasps and quiet laughs between Lorcan and me. It’s absolute perfection.

I don’t hesitate when we’re back on the front porch. “This is the one.”

Lorcan’s looking at me in that way that makes it hard to breathe when he nods. “Agreed.”

Ansel closes up her folder with a big smile. “Okay, then. It's a beautiful home, I agree. The owners are not currently living here. They had it built as a vacation home but rarely had the time to stay, so they are open to you renting it until the close can be completed, which could happen quickly. They’re also including all window and floor treatments and will entertain offers for all of the furniture, except the bedroom sets. If you'd like, we can go back to my office now to draw up all the paperwork and contact their agent. If all goes well, you could be moved in pretty quickly.”

I’m excited. I haven’t been so excited in a long time and for once since the morning of my wedding, I’m not nervous. All I feel is a rush of energy and hope for the future.

Lorcan can feel it too, I know he does as I look at him.

“Sounds great,” Lorcan says, and he pulls me close to him and into his arms as Ansel walks to her car. He kisses my forehead and then I lean up on my toes to capture his lips with mine. When he pulls back, his next words make my excitement grow. “Welcome home.”

#‘til death do us part #tddup #elorcan #elorcan tddup #elide x lorcan #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #lord lorcan lochan #snelbz x tacmc collab #snacmc collabs #snelbz x theladyofdeath collab #throne of glass #sjm fanfic

[theladyofdeath]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 14}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Shelby’s blogs! >>@snelbz​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Cassian was up far before Nesta, but that was to be expected.

He had worn her out, after all.

In all honesty, though, she had worn him out, too. And he sure as hell wasn’t complaining.

It had taken him a while to fall asleep the night before, to fully digest everything that had happened between the two of them. He didn’t regret it, not for a second, but it was…strange. Nesta Archeron was the last woman he thought he’d find himself in such a situation with.

It had been a pleasant surprise, to say the least. Even when he had finally fallen asleep, it was all he dreamt about.

His hands on her body.

The little sounds that fell from her lips.

The feeling of his mouth against hers.

The feeling of being inside of her.

Dressing, he crept downstairs, not wanting to wake her, and made a pot of coffee. Sitting at the kitchen table, he ran a hand through his messy hair.

Cassian had no idea what was going to come this morning. Was she going to pretend it never happened? Was she going to be mad or say that it was a mistake?

He sure as hell hadn’t thought it was a mistake. He’d loved every minute of the night they’d shared, but he knew that a line had been crossed between them.

He was going to let her decide what would come next.

It wasn’t two minutes after Cassian pulled a pan of crispy bacon out of the oven, he heard a door open at the top of the stairs. He smirked, but felt a sense of dread as footsteps slowly descended towards the kitchen.

Nesta appeared, dressed in long-sleeved flannel pajamas. She stopped in the doorway and cleared her throat.

“I made breakfast,” Cassian said, gesturing to the display on the countertop.

“Thanks,” Nesta said, scratching the back of her head.

“Care to join me at the table?” he asked.

Nesta hesitated, then nodded. “Sure. Thanks.”

Cassian said nothing more as he made her a plate, then himself one, and carried them to the table. He was already popping a piece of bacon into his mouth when Nesta sat.

“So,” Cassian began. “How are you?”

“Good,” Nesta answered, a little too quickly. “You?”

“Good,” Cassian said, nodding.

Silence ensued.

They ate quietly. Cassian glanced at Nesta from time to time. Nesta did the same. Eventually, Cassian dropped his fork on his plate and ran a hand through his hair.

“Alright, this is ridiculous,” he said.

Nesta raised a brow. “What is?”

“This awkwardness,” Cassian said, laughing quietly. “I mean, we fucked, right?”

Nesta nearly choked on a piece of bacon. “We….”

“Had sex,” Cassian finished. “We did, and you know what? It was good. But when we went to bed, it was awkward. And this morning? Still awkward. Why is it awkward?”

“Because we had drunk sex,” she said, laughing, despite herself. “We got drunk and we hooked up, like horny teenagers and…” She shook her head, and looked up at him. And she burst out laughing.

“And we’re adults,” he said, laughing along with her. “We made that choice. I liked that choice. I’d make that choice again.”

Nesta’s laughter quieted. “I know. I don’t either, but…”

Cassian took a drink of his coffee, smirking. “Was it not the best sex of your life?”

Nesta began blushing, and she bit her lip as she moved the eggs around her plate. “I plead the fifth.”

“That’s a cop-out answer,” Cassian said, his mouth full.

Nesta laughed. “So what?”

Cassian’s grin said plenty. “Fair enough. I mean, it was a one time thing, right?”

“Right,” Nesta said, without any hesitation. “So, there’s no need to feel awkward, right?”

“Right,” Cassian agreed. “We were letting off some steam, some stress, and now we’re fine.”

“Exactly,” Nesta said, scooping up a mouthful of eggs.

That silence resumed.

A few minutes later, Nesta said, “It was pretty good, though.”

Cassian chuckled. “Oh, I know.”

She kicked his shin beneath the table.

His grin widened.

“What do you have going on today?” Cassian asked, at last.

“Work,” Nesta answered, simply. “You’ll pick Nyx up?”

“I will,” he promised.

“Great,” she said, taking a drink of her coffee. She glanced at the clock and jumped to her feet. “Shit, I need to go get ready.”

“Go,” he chuckled, shooing her off. “I’ll handle the kitchen.”

She glanced around at the room, which was still a wreck from the night before. Her bikini top was looped over one of the drawer pulls and she blushed.

She couldn’t believe it.

She had sex with Cassian, her sworn enemy for years.

And the most surprising thing of all? She had liked it.

A lot.

He hadn’t been lying when he said it would be the best sex of her life. There was no comparison, whatsoever.

Even waking up after a fantastic night of sleep, Nesta still felt amazing. She was relaxed, albeit a bit sore. Nearly giddy.

And all because of Cassian.

*

Since the accident, Nesta hadn’t spent nearly as much time at the restaurant as she usually did. And not nearly as often as she liked. Her staff had absolutely understood that she needed to get accustomed to her new life and how things worked, but as she hurried between the dining room and the kitchen, she couldn’t help but feel like she was in a bit over her head.

Granted, her mind kept trailing back to the activities she’d had the night before, which flustered her to no end every time she thought about them. She was staring at an open laptop in front of her, the PDF of the new menu staring back, when she heard a throat clearing from the doorway of her office.

She glanced up and found Helion standing there. He was her general manager and made sure everything ran smoothly when she wasn’t there, and he was a blessing in her life.

“What’s up?”

He looked around before slipping into the chair across the desk from her. “You going to tell me what’s got you spacing out so badly today that you mixed fresh salmon into the chicken salad base?”

Nesta cringed, but tried not to show it. “I wanted to try a new recipe. If it bombs, it bombs.”

Helion lifted a brow, not believing her lie for a second.

“What?” Nesta asked.

“Did the walk of shame this morning, did you?” He asked, a familiar mischievous glint in his eye.

Nesta hesitated. “Is it still a walk of shame if you never leave your house?”

Helion’s brows furrowed but then the dots connected. His mouth fell open as his eyes widened. “You fucked the hot uncle?”

Nesta groaned, her face falling into her hands.

Helion had no sympathy. He asked, “Is he the one that’s sitting at the bar asking for you?”

Nesta’s hands fell and she met Helion’s eye.

Helion shrugged. “Didn’t think I just came back here to chat, did you?”

“I…” Nesta was up before she could even think through what she might say to him, rounding her desk and hurrying towards the front of the restaurant.

She wasn’t sure if Cassian’s mid-day appearance was a good thing or not. On one hand, he may have stopped by with Nyx after picking him up from Elain’s. On the other, what if something was wrong? What if Nyx had had a bad night or something had happened? Her steps slowed and she paused before she left the kitchens, taking a deep breath.

Nothing was wrong. She wouldn’t accept any other answer. Tucking her loose hair behind an ear, she pushed through the door.

But she didn’t find Cassian sitting at the bar.

It was Balthazar, whose brown eyes she met and her smile faltered, but only a little. She had it back in place before he had time to notice.

“Figured out how I recognized you,” he said, as she approached from the other side of the bar.

“I see that,” she laughed, softly.

“Turns out I come here often,” he continued, his smile growing. “Turns out, so do you.”

“I would say I make an appearance here from time to time,” she agreed. “So, stop in for lunch?”

“I had the day off,” he explained, shrugging. “Errand day.”

She was just now noticing the designer sweatpants and hoodie he wore. His sneakers alone probably cost a couple hundred dollars.

Apparently the rumors were true…

Doctors made good money.

“And this was on your list?” Nesta asked.

Bal chuckled. “Well, last night I got to thinking that I’ve seen you here once or twice. It just clicked. So, I googled the restaurant, and, believe it or not, the owner’s picture is on the website.”

“Huh,” Nesta chimed. “Funny.”

“Mhmm,” Balthazar crooned. “I thought so. So, I thought I’d come visit and, yeah, maybe stay for lunch.”

“Well, lucky for you, the lunch special of the day is the prime dip, and I must say that it’s absolutely delicious,” Nesta said.

He closed the menu on the bar top in front of him. “Sounds perfect.”

“Give me just a minute to get that for you, and I’ll be right back. Can I get you something to drink?” She asked, sliding the menu below the bar.

“Drink drink or just to drink?” He asked and his smile did strange things to her stomach.

“Oh, I don’t have a liquor license,” she said, scrunching her nose. Too many hoops to jump through, but she would have loved to serve wine with her food. The pairings she would come up with were tempting. “Water, your everyday sodas, and homemade fruit teas.”

“Fruit tea, huh?” He tapped a contemplative finger against his chin.

She couldn’t have stopped the grin if she tried. “Has that piqued your interest?”

“Depends on what flavors you have,” he said, folding his arms across the bar. “I’m very choosy about my fruit tea.”

She laughed, quietly. “Mango, raspberry, strawberry, and passion fruit.”

“Passion fruit,” he repeated. “I like the sound of that.”

“Okay,” Nesta said, quietly with a little smile she couldn’t stop, and hurried back to the kitchen.

Helion was waiting for her behind the swinging door, grinning from ear to ear.

“Not him,” Nesta said, sweeping past him.

“Still handsome!” Helion called after her.

Nesta ignored him, not wanting to give him too much information on her current man-drama, even though she could tell he was far too invested in her private life.

After putting his order in, Nesta was heading back into her office and shutting herself inside, if only to shut out Helion.

When she had rounded the corner and saw it wasn’t Cassian, there was the tiniest bit of disappointment that she had to quickly push away. Then again, it also meant that everything had apparently gone okay with Nyx, which Nesta was happy about.

She and Cassian had been a one time thing.

Yes, they had called a truce, but it didn’t mean anything more than them being civil with one another. It meant co-parenting. Maybe even one day becoming something that resembled friends…but nothing more.

She tried to focus on the proof of the menu she was editing, tried to pay attention to the descriptions she typed out and the pictures she selected as focal points. But after she ended up choosing the wrong picture three times in a row, she closed her laptop and sighed, letting her face fall into her hands. She was distracted and she genuinely couldn’t tell if it was due to the man sitting out at the bar or if it was thanks to the one at home.

Balthazar’s order was up, and Nesta was delighted to find that someone, most likely Helion, had brought him his tea. When she set his plate down in front of him, his tongue swept across his bottom lip, and Nesta couldn’t help but notice.

“This looks amazing,” he said.

“And your tea?” Nesta asked.

“Pretty good,” he grinned.

Damn his smile. Every time he smiled, Nesta couldn’t help but smile back.

“Well, it was great seeing you,” Nesta said, and she meant it. “I should get back to work, though, I’m pretty booked.”

“Of course,” he said, understandingly. “I get it. I did want to ask you, though, if you were free on Saturday night?”

It was only a few nights away, and at first, Nesta hesitated, but then she thought it was ridiculous that she was hesitating, so she said, “Yeah, I’m free.”

“Good,” Bal said, cocking his head to the side. “How about that date, then?”

“I’ll have to check with Cassian,” she said, and when his eyebrows raised, she added hastily, “To make sure he doesn’t already have plans. It’s- We alternate who gets weekends off, and I made a deal with him last weekend.”

Balthazar nodded, and he took another sip of his tea. “Well, then you just let me know if Saturday will work and if not, we’ll figure out another day.”

She smiled and nodded. “Okay.” Nesta turned and was almost back to the door leading to the kitchen when she turned and said, “Lunch is on me today, by the way.”

His own smile was dazzling when he said, “My compliments to the chef.”

With a shy wave, though Nesta wasn’t sure she had a timid bone in her body, she was through the door and headed back to her office. Helion was on her heels a second later, trailing her through the doorway.

“One minute, you’re banging the hot uncle and the next, a Greek god asks you out on a date?” He said, his brows flicking up. “You apparently have fate on speed dial and I need you to give me her number.”

“Shut up,” she groaned, collapsing into her chair. “Don’t you have orders to help cook?”

He hummed quietly as he left her to her thoughts, but did as she said, finding his way back onto the grill line.

Nesta glanced over at the clock. Only two in the afternoon. It was going to be a long day.

*

Nyx blew a raspberry, landing a spray of sweet potato directly on Cassian’s face. His body stilled, but when Nyx started giggling, Cassian’s body quickly relaxed.

“Very funny,” he said, ruffling Nyx’s hair as he stood and went to the sink. After tearing a paper-towel off the roll, he held it under the faucet and wiped off his face.

The front door opened and closed.

“Hello?” Nesta called.

“Kitchen!” Cassian replied. “Nyx is making a mess!”

Nesta was in the kitchen in no time, hurrying to Nyx and kissing his chubby cheeks. “Hi, my love. I missed you. Yes, I did.”

Nyx babbled incoherently in response.

“How was your day?” Cassian asked, wiping off the last bit of potato from his eyebrow.

“Long,” she admitted. “Right before I was about to leave, a shipment of fresh ingredients came in that I needed to get stocked and inventoried.” She dumped a few of the strawberry-banana puffs into her hand and popped one of them into her mouth. “If I have to count another head of lettuce today, my head might explode.”

“Well, fortunately,” Cassian chuckled. “There are no heads of lettuce here for you to count.”

“Have you eaten yet?” She asked, heading for the fridge. “I’m starving.”

“There’s pizza on the way,” he said, attempting to get another spoonful of sweet potatoes into Nyx’s mouth. “I wasn’t sure when you’d be home, or if you’d feel like cooking.”

“You’re a blessing,” she sighed, and sat down at the kitchen table. She watched as Nyx continued to spray food into his face and chuckled quietly. “You want me to take over?”

“Nah,” he said, leaving the splattered sweet potato where it stuck to his face. “No need for both of us to get covered.”

“How gallant of you,” Nesta chuckled, opening the fridge and pulling out a can of Coca-Cola. She rarely did caffeine, but after the day she had, it was necessary. “I, um, did have a question for you.”

Cassian looked over his shoulder, brow raised.

Nesta couldn’t help but smile at the specks of sweet potato that covered his face.

“I was wondering if I could go out Saturday night,” Nesta said. “I mean, I know last weekend I went out, and I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness-.”

“With the doctor?” Cassian interrupted. His tone wasn’t hard, but it did seem uncertain, or another emotion that Nesta couldn’t quite place.

“Yeah,” Nesta began, cracking open her can. “He came by the restaurant today and asked me to dinner on Saturday night. I told him I’d have to talk to you about it first, since I said I’d have Nyx.”

“I see,” Cassian said, turning back to Nyx.

“If it’s an issue, if you have plans, I don’t mind telling him no-.”

“You should go,” Cassian said, shrugging. “I have no plans. I can stay here.”

She blinked, watching him. “You’re sure?”

“You sound like you don’t want me to be sure,” he said, glancing at her over his shoulder. “Are you looking for a reason to say no?”

“No,” she replied, quickly. “It’s just… After last night-.”

“We hooked up,” he shrugged. “We blew off some steam, in a very physical way. But that was that, and, like we said this morning, it was a one time thing, yeah?” She nodded. “Alright, then if you want to say yes, say yes. I can watch Nyx.”

She hesitated for a second, but her smile grew. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he repeated, and gave her a smile of his own. “Go relax for a bit, I’ll let you know when the pizza is here.”

She nodded and was about to head up the stairs, but she turned around, wiping the smeared baby food off his face and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Thanks, Cass.”

He mumbled something and waved her off, and she grabbed her phone from her purse before she hurried up to her room.

After changing out of her work clothes and into something far more comfier, she fell back on her bed and unlocked her phone.

Balthazar’s messages were soon pulled up, and Nesta was sending him a text.

Saturday sounds great. Pick me up at 7?

She didn’t wait for his response before tossing her phone aside and going through her nightly routine. She figured she would eat and call it a day.

She was beat.

After washing her face and pulling up her hair, Nesta walked back into her room just as her phone lit up on top of her comforter.

Balthazar.

I won’t be a second late.

#nessian #nesta #cassian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acosf #fanfic #fanfiction #nesta x cassian #cassian x nesta #shacmc lawki #collab #snelbz x tacmc #sjm

[snelbz]

'Til Death Do Us Part {Chapter Ten}

Elorcan. Rockstar Modern AU.

@snelbz x @theladyofdeath collab

‘Til Death Do Us Part Masterlist

Elide -

I wake up the next morning unable to remember at what point I finally fell asleep.

When I came out of the bathroom the night before, after a shower and a fresh change of comfortable clothes, Lorcan was already on the couch scrolling through his phone. We said our goodnights and then I went into the bedroom and shut the door before crawling onto the California king size bed and falling asleep. It was, without a doubt, the most comfortable bed I’ve ever slept on and getting up was a chore in itself. 

We had a nice moment together the night before, Lorcan and I. During that moment, when we came to an understanding about our situation, there was a moment when I felt that our setup wasn’t mistake at all.

That feeling nearly disappears when I walk out of the bedroom and find that the suite is empty. 

His bag remains just next to the couch that he had slept on, but everything else is gone: wallet, phone, keys, cigarettes. Nothing remains on the countertop that he had tossed there the night before, all of his necessities. 

With a frown, I try to remain positive. Then, I feel ridiculous, because I don’t even have my husband’s phone number to text him and see where he’s at. 

Maybe he’s at breakfast or went down the street to pick something up instead of settling for the continental breakfast. With that in mind, he should be back soon. I decide to take a shower, taking one much longer than I would in my own apartment. I let the hot water soothe my muscles and only get out when it turns lukewarm. Smelling like lavender and vanilla, I get out and wipe off the steamy mirror before peeking my head out of the bathroom door.

“Lorcan?”

Nothing.

I’ve been awake for an hour and he’s still not back. My anxieties start to become more concrete as I finish drying off and get dressed. With the bathroom door open, I apply my makeup and brush and dry my hair. 

He still hasn’t returned as I decide to give my straight, dark locks a curl. I curl each section of my hair with tender care, taking far more time than I usually would, and look in the mirror when I’m done. I look hot.

Too bad my husband still isn’t here to see it.

I can’t control my worries any more. Tears sting my eyes but I don’t let them fall. He bailed. I know he did. Even after the moment we shared together last night, he still decided that this marriage wasn’t worth it. 

Stupid. I feel so incredibly stupid.

Sure, he left his bag, but he’s a millionaire, I have no doubt. He can replace anything in an instant. He took what was important and left what could be replaced. Including me.

Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I see that it’s nearly eleven, which everyone knows is check out time. I doubt the hotel would kick a couple out of the honeymoon suite the morning after their wedding, but just in case, I don’t want to be caught looking as pathetic as I feel. I pack everything back up into my bag, making everything fit.

Save for one thing. And damn it, that’s what makes the tears finally spill over.

I look at where my wedding dress lays draped across the chair in the corner. I’d laid it out to keep it wrinkle free and in the best shape possible. Now I’m going to have to bundle it up and stuff it under my arm.

Oh, well. That’s what portable steamers are for. Even if it’s going to take me hours to bring it back to life. It wasn’t like he even cared about it, not more than getting it off of me. 

I sling my bag over my shoulder, and ball the dress up, taking one last look around the room. It’s beautiful, even now, and I hate that they had to waste it on us.

Sighing, I head for the door. I’ll call Aelin from the lobby. I want to get out of this room and out of—

The electronic lock whirs and clicks as it disengages and the door swings open.

Lorcan walks in, a white cup with green print in each hand, door falling shut behind him. His hair is pulled back into a bun at the back of his head, leaving his handsome face on full display.

Have I mentioned how unfair it is that he looks like that?

He’s dressed similarly to the way he was when I first met him, a tank top and running shorts.

And he’s wearing tennis shoes.

He looks down at my dress in my arms and my bag over my shoulder, before his eyes rise to meet mine. “What’s up?”

It takes me a second to find my voice. “I thought you left.”

His jaw ticks. “So you were just going to leave?”

“I thought you were already gone!” I say again, dropping my bag and dress to the floor. “Your stuff was gone.”

He brushes past me and sets the cups down on the table. He points to his duffle on the floor. “My bag is literally right there.”

“I meant your phone and wallet and cigarettes. The stuff that matters.”

He closes the distance between us and tilts my face up towards his. “Are you crying?”

I try to turn my head, but he grips my chin. I don’t need to answer. The evidence is still shining on my face.

Cupping my face, he asks, “Why?”

I bite my lip to keep my voice from wavering. “I thought you left me already.”

His thumb slowly traces my jaw. “I’m still here. I didn’t leave and I don’t plan to.”

I nod, keeping my eyes on his.

Lorcan’s dark eyes lower, settling on my lips, before meeting my gaze again. He leans down, kissing me softly.

I let him.

He pulls away, but not far. Just enough to say, “I went down to the gym to work out and then ran down the road to get us coffee.” He kisses me again. “I texted Rowan and had him ask Aelin what you usually order.”

At that, I pull back. “Really?”

He picks up one of the cups and holds it out for me. “London Fog? I think?”

The unease in his voice is…adorable.

I take the cup and pop the lid off, closing my eyes and inhaling the heady aroma of earl grey tea and a hint of sweet vanilla.

Smiling, I look up at him. “Thank you.”

He nods, a breath of relief leaving him. “You’re welcome.” He looks back to my bag and my dress on the floor and frowns. “I’m sorry I worried you. I didn’t mean to. You were sleeping so peacefully… I didn’t want to wake you, but I work out almost every single morning.”

“It’s okay,” I say, watching as he sits on the couch and takes off his tennis shoes. “I’m usually one to think of the worst. It’s a bad quality.”

He chuckles. “I think it’s a human quality.”

I take a drink of my tea and let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you. Again. I didn’t realize how much I needed this.” I nod towards his cup. “What did you get?”

He hesitates. “Caramel mocha,” he mumbles. “Extra whip cream. Don’t judge.” 

I laugh. I can’t help it. Most of me expected him to tell me he ordered plain coffee, black. “No judgment. Sounds delicious.”

He grins in confirmation, though his eyes narrow on me as he takes a drink. “So, I double checked with the front desk. Our check out is at noon. My roommates are home, so I thought we’d go by my place first. They’re not…so bad.” I raise a brow at his hesitation. He chuckles and picks up the list of guidelines the team left us. “They’re assholes, but harmless. The rules say we have to see where each other lives before we choose where we want to live.”

I nod, that anxiety coming back. The last thing I want is for him to see where I live, but I know it’s part of the rules. We looked over them last night. “As long as I can finish my tea first.” 

“I would never come in between a woman and her tea,” he says, and then he’s pulling a pair of jeans and a t-shirt out of his bag. “Give me a few minutes to clean up then we’ll go?”

I nod, taking the time to carefully fold my dress while he takes the world’s fastest shower and is ready to go in mere minutes. He comes out, tossing his sweaty clothes into his bag and scoops it up, along with mine. “Ready to go.”

When we get to the lobby, he pulls a valet ticket out of his wallet and gives it to the attendant. As we wait for him to pull up, Lorcan turns to face me.

“I didn’t mention it earlier, what with you trying to leave me and everything—”

I shove him, but it’s about as effective as shoving a brick wall. “I told you, I wasn’t trying to leave you.”

My laughter carries through the parking area.

“It’s a good thing I showed up when I did.” He smiles down at me and clears his throat. “What I was trying to say—”

He’s interrupted, yet again, this time by the valet pulling up in a massive, black truck, the biggest I’ve ever seen. The man has to literally drop out of the cab and as he rounds the front of the truck and hands the keys to Lorcan, my eyes go wide.

I’ve heard of boys and their toys, but this is a little ridiculous.

I also notice him slip a hundred dollar bill to the attendant and I try not to gape. That was…unexpected.

He opens the door for me and I look from the ground to the inside of the truck and then at him. “Lorcan. I can’t get in that thing. I can’t even get my leg up there.”

“Huh,” he says, as if he’s just noticed. “I guess you’re right. I’ll have to help you in.”

My eyes narrow as he approaches me, but before I can say anything, his hands are around my waist and he’s lifting me up onto the seat.

He winks at me, and just before he shuts the door he says, “I’ll get some steps put in on your side so you can get in and out on your own.”

He rounds the front, opening the door and effortlessly swinging himself into the truck. After turning the key, the rumble of the engine just as loud as expected, he pulls out of the lot and onto the main road.

“You don’t have to do that, you know,” I say, quietly.

“Do what?” He glances over at me, but keeps his eyes on the road.

“Alter your truck for me.” I’m staring at my hands, grateful he can’t look over at me for more than a second.

He doesn’t respond, and at first I think that’s that and we’re moving on. But then we pull up to a red light and he looks over at me. “Don’t do that.”

I blink. “Do what?”

“Treat yourself like you’re a burden.”

The light changes before I can reply and we fall into a comfortable silence as we drive.

The team gave us a guideline sheet we're supposed to follow, and the first order of business is to move in together, whether we move in to one of our own homes together, or get an entirely new place to live. My apartment is the size of a shoebox, on top of being in a sketchy part of town. He has roommates. Neither seem like very viable options to me.

But rules are rules and Lorcan says he has a vehicle that even I can get into on my own at his house, so his place is our first stop.

We pull up to his condo and I’m baffled, even though I shouldn’t be. It’s one of the grandest buildings in the city, but he doesn’t seem to notice my shock as he parks and we walk into the lobby. The elevator has golden interior and while I’m questioning if it’s real, Lorcan presses the button to the top floor. 

“You okay?” He asks. I nod, but I’m sure he knows I’m lying. I feel a ridiculous amount of nerves as the elevator lifts us up. We ride the rest of the way in silence until we get to his floor and it’s not until we stop in front of his door that he turns to look at me.

He rubs the back of his neck and the gesture is adorable.

“My roommates…” he trails off and shakes his head. “They’re nice guys. Really. But, if you think I’m vulgar you haven’t heard anything yet. I apologize for anything that comes out of their mouths.”

I laugh quietly. “And how is it you know them?”

“They’re in the Cadre,” he confesses. “Fenrys and Connall. Brothers. Fenrys has the bigger mouth. Sorry for anything you hear or see.” And with that, he’s opening the door.

The condo is quiet.

But massive.

I notice a spiral staircase in the corner, letting me know that it’s multiple stories. I can’t imagine what the rent is like for this place. My entire apartment would fit in the kitchen alone.

Lorcan takes my hand and I wrap my fingers around his. I like the way his hand feels in mine. I don’t feel as jumpy when I know he’s there. He grounds me.

He shows me the living room and the kitchen, both which are empty, and down the hall to a cinema room. It’s set up like a tiny theater but no one is in it. Across from it is an in-home gym.

“You have a gym in here but prefer to go to the gym with Rowan?” I ask, unable to put any of my other thoughts into words.

He shrugs. “Depends what day it is.”

We continue our tour until we’re walking up the stairs and up to the second floor. The bedrooms are here, I assume, and so is a large gaming room where two similar looking males are sitting on a giant couch, playing Call of Duty. They must be twins. 

Thinking past the haze in my mind, I remember them from the wedding.

While their faces are nearly identical matches, they’re opposites in almost every other way. One light, one dark. One in a tank top and board shorts, the other a long-sleeved henley and jeans. The dark twin, he looks put together, despite his long hair. It’s clean and shiny and looks like he actually put effort into his appearance. The blonde one, however, his hair is loose and wavy, messy in an I just woke up and rolled out of bed look.

I turn to my husband, who has a balanced look of the two. He may not be as neat as the man before me swearing at his brother, but I also get the feeling the brutal ruggedness about him wouldn’t be as appealing if he were. Thankfully, it looks like he at least regularly combs his hair.

“If it isn’t the newlyweds,” the blonde one says, noticing us first. “Shouldn’t you be on your honeymoon?”

I tense, but Lorcan’s thumb brushes back and forth over the back of my hand. “Decided to take some time to get to know each other first.”

The one with dark hair nods, as if he thinks we’re making the smart move. “What a small world. You two could have met any time in the past couple years and would have had no idea you were talking to your future spouse.”

I don’t mention that we did in fact meet just over a month ago, and let me just say, I had absolutely no idea I was talking to my future spouse.

Not that I even said much to him.

All I did was judge him by his appearance and his occupation. Now, I’m seeing that I should probably get to know him first.

“Maybe that means it was meant to be,” Lorcan says and winks at me. I chuckle. “Fenrys and Connall.” He points from one to the other. “Brothers, although one’s a bigger pain in the ass.”

Fenrys grins. “Nice to officially meet you. You made a beautiful bride.”

I’m nearly shocked by his compliment. Although, I feel he’s a man that compliments a woman often. 

“Is this the part where you’re trying to figure out where to live?” Connall asks. When Lorcan says yes, he says, “No offense, and of course you’re welcome here, but do you really want to live with three guys in a bachelor pad?”

I laugh as I look around the room. The entire apartment is clean and decently neat, but it’s clear that there has never been a woman’s touch. Just a weekly maid’s. “Honestly? Not particularly.” I look to Lorcan, who is laughing quietly. “But, the rules say we have to see where each other lives.”

“So you’ll be living at your place?” Fenrys asks, and I don’t answer. Thankfully he doesn’t give me much time to do so. “Sad day, Lorcan moving out on us.”

“Yeah, well, I’m sure Elide prefers to live in a place that at least looks like it's not the inside of a typical man’s brain come to life,” Lorcan mutters, reading my mind. 

“Seriously, it looks like a woman has never stepped foot in here until now,” I joke.

But my laughter dies as Fenrys says, “Hasn’t been that long, has it, Lor?”

It’s a joke. I know it’s a joke, but I sense the underlying meaning, sense there’s something he was hinting at. 

Connall smacks Fenrys in the back of the head as Lorcan turns to me. “Don’t listen to him—”

“What does he mean by that?” I ask, voice quiet.

“Nothing,” Lorcan says, and glares in Fenrys’ direction. At least he has the mind to give me an apologetic look. “He talks without thinking.”

“Lorcan.” My voice leaves no room for discussion. “Please don’t bullshit me.”

With set lips, Lorcan gives one more look to the brothers before pulling me out of the room.

He drops my hand and rubs his jaw. I don’t know what he’s going to say but I hate the waiting. He goes with, “I’m not a virgin, Elide.”

I’m fully aware of that fact but he says it like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, like it explains everything. “But it hasn’t been very long since the last time you’ve been with someone, apparently.” I gesture to the closed door that we just came out of. “So how long has it been?” 

At first he doesn’t answer and I shake my head, taking a step back.

He frowns. “Elide—”

“Had you been accepted into the program?” I ask, and when he flinches I know my answer.

“About six weeks ago—” he begins, but I’m already turned around, trying to find my way out of the damn place. 

In any other situation, I probably would have busted my ass on the spiral stairs, especially considering my pace and the thundering steps behind me. But I don’t. Instead, I hit the main floor, aiming for the door. I don’t take two steps before his hand wraps around my wrist. “Elide, please, just—”

“Please what?” I ask, turning on him. His eyes are guarded, as if he was expecting my reaction.

He knew I’d be angry, and rightly so. It’s been over six months since our applications went in for this. He knew he would be getting married, knew he was technically engaged, but still.

Shaking my head, I pull my arm from his grip. I can’t believe he slept with someone just weeks ago, when he knew we were going to get married. Part of the deal was that we were supposed to stop dating, relationships, and having sex with others when we found out we had our match and set our wedding date. That was over three months ago.

He still hasn’t answered, so I say, “You knew about me then. You already knew our wedding date. It’s not like they sprung this on you.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t know you. I just knew the wedding was going to happen.”

I laugh, the sound humorless. “And that wasn’t enough?”

“I don't know, I didn't even think about it in that way. I was just doing my usual shit.” he says, and I can tell he wants to reach out again. I step back so he won’t. “Look, I know I fucked up and I’m sorry. It was just sex with some groupies. It didn't mean anything. It never means anything.”

Scoffing, I cross my arms. “And that’s supposed to make me feel better?”

He crosses the room and drops onto the couch. “Fuck, no, of course, it isn’t.” Dragging a hand through his loose, messy hair, he looks up at me. “I just didn’t want you to think I had some girlfriend on the side or something.”

I start pacing before I can stop myself and I can feel his gaze on me the whole time. I don’t want to think about this. I don’t want to think about my new husband having sex with random women, while we were supposed to be thinking about getting married and committing to each other in every way. I was so excited when I found out they had my match picked and I was technically considered engaged. All I could think about was finally meeting him. I dreamed of what he’d look like, who he was, how he’d act, who we’d be together. I dreamed he was wondering the same about me.

Meanwhile, he was screwing groupies with no thought or care about me at all.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, quieter this time, and I turn to look at him. “I messed up, Elide, and I know that, but I won’t do it again, I promise.”

There’s that humorless laugh again. I sound insane. “You won’t fuck a random groupie or you won’t mess up?”

His eyes narrow on me slightly, but he says, “Both. I’m done fucking groupies and I’m going to do my best not to mess up anymore.”

I release a breath I didn’t realize I’d been holding, my rage deflating. It’s in the past and there’s nothing that can be done about it now.

Except for one thing.

“What about the tests? Are you still clean?”

One of the more invasive things we’d had to do was a full scale test to ensure no one in the program had any sort of STD they could pass on to their partner. But those were done right after our wedding date was set. He still was having sex weeks after that.

“I’m clean,” Lorcan promises, not getting angry like I expected him to, since I was practically accusing him of having a venereal disease. “I always wear protection and was tested two weeks ago.”

I nod, my anger simmering, but nothing like it was. It’s probably safe for me to sit next to him without strangling him, so I cross the room and sit on the couch next to him. “Does Yrene know?” His brows knit together in confusion and I realize not everyone calls her by her first name apparently. I add, “Dr. Towers.”

He shakes his head quickly. “I definitely didn’t tell her.”

Snorting, I look back up the spiral staircase. “She probably would have kicked you out of the study if she found out.”

“Yeah, and I’d…like to keep that from happening,” he says, drawing my gaze back to his.

My jaw is set. “Fine. I won’t say anything, as long as you don’t fuck anymore groupies.”

Those dark eyes are trained on me, but he says nothing for a second before asking, “Are you jealous?”

I blink. “What?”

He leans in, just a bit. “I get that you’re pissed, and that’s fair. But are you jealous?”

Tripping over my words, I pray that my cheeks aren’t as red as they feel. “No.”

I’ve seen his body. It’s…magnificent. And I know the reputation he has. I can only imagine that he knows what he’s doing.

The thought has heat pooling in my core.

There’s just enough hesitation that his grin grows. “How long has it been for you?”

“Since what?”

He leans in a little more. “Since you had sex with someone.”

And now I’m sure my cheeks are just as red as I think they are. “That’s none of your business, but I can assure you, it’s a lot longer than six weeks ago. I followed the rules.”

“Good for you,” he murmurs, and I can feel his breath on my lips. “Now tell me.”

“No.”

“Tell me,” he repeats and I feel his hands on my side. “Or I’ll tickle you.”

I swat his hands away, although I can scarcely breathe with him so close. My voice is a whisper when I say, “No and don’t you dare.”

He dared.

His fingers attack my ribs and I erupt into a fit of giggles that overpowers my anger as my head falls back and my back arches. “Stop it!”

He does not and when I meet his eye, he’s grinning. I try to scoot back but I can barely move. I’m ticklish. I know as much. Now, so does he. He keeps tickling me and I’m unable to stop my laughter. 

“Fine!” I yell, and I’m smiling so wide that my face hurts. His fingers halt and he looks at me with raised brows. “It’s been…a while.”

He blinks. “Yeah, I’ve collected that. Doesn’t tell me how long.”

And then he’s tickling me again and my laughter and yelling and squirming resumes. Next thing I know, I’ve fallen back against the couch and he comes with me. His fingers still dance along my sides as he gets on his knees between my spread legs. As if he realizes the same time I do, his fingers come to a stop.

We’re both breathing heavily and grinning like fools, although there’s a glint in his eye now that wasn’t there before. My cheeks are flushed and the strap of my tank top is hanging off my shoulder.

He doesn’t move.

Neither do I.

Instead, his hands fall from my sides to the couch cushions on both sides of me. He hovers there on all fours and his eyes fall from mine to my lips then back again.

“You know, I can fix that for you,” he says, and his voice is dangerously low. “When you’re ready. You deserve to have someone make you feel good.”

My toes curl and I forget how to breathe.

As if he needs to prove it, he lets me have a little of his weight, pressing me into the couch. His hips nestle between my parted thighs and I can feel his cock pressed up against me.

“I thought I wasn’t what you wanted.” My voice is breathy, betraying the fact that he’s affecting me in all the wrong ways, though he’d probably say they’re the right ways.

“I thought so, too.” His voice is low, so deep it’s almost just a rumble in his chest. I feel it in my core and fight off the urge to shudder. He brushes a thumb over my lips and then begins to trail a hand down my body, over my ribs and hips until he’s gripping one of my thighs. He pulls me into him at the same time he leans down into me. “But my body apparently wants you…and I think yours wants me too.”

A little gasp escapes me as I breathe, “I want more than that.”

He leans down, brushing his lips against mine in a whisper of a kiss. “I know you do.”

He rocks his hard cock against me and I’m unable to stop the soft moan from tumbling from my lips. He does it a second time and then a third, and then kisses me.

Not a kiss like we shared this morning or a soft brush of the lips.

Lorcan kisses me like a man kisses his wife.

It’s over nearly as quickly as it started, though, and he’s pulling away. “I told you I’d respect your decision, and I will. But I won’t quit trying. Just tell me when to stop and I will, no questions asked.”

I blink, my mind hazy and lust addled. “Wait. You’re going to respect my decision to wait to have sex with you, by trying to have sex with me?”

Tendrils of his hair have fallen loose of his bun and are framing his face. It should honestly be illegal to be this handsome, it’s not fair.

“I’m not going to have sex with you until you explicitly tell me that’s what you want,” he says, leaning in. I can smell his cinnamon toothpaste. “But you can’t tell me you didn’t like what we just did, that you don’t want me to do it again.

I stay quiet, because he’s right, I can’t and I won’t lie.

He grins, knowing the thoughts that are running through my mind.

“Kiss me,” I beg, and he does.

He kisses me in that way again that has me questioning my very existence. His body falls into mine and I can feel the long, thick length of him against my thigh. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have him inside of me. Would I even survive that? He’s so much bigger than I am, I should have known that his cock is massive, too. The thought has my mind reeling and a throbbing forming between my legs that I don’t think I’ll recover from.

His tongue slides against mine and I moan quietly, causing his arm to tighten around my waist.

Kissing him is easy.

If only fucking him was just as easy. The empty ache of my sex grows frustrating and I grind against him for any sort of satisfaction. It must please him, because he groans into my mouth.

Then my thoughts get the better of me.

Six weeks. He was with someone else six weeks ago.

It may have meant nothing, but I can’t just give myself to this man because we signed our marriage certificate. No, he has to earn me. I’ve saved myself since Ren and I wont give my body away over simple lust.

Even though I want him.

Even though the thought of his cock deep inside me will most likely keep me up tonight.

I break the kiss and he looks at me, wild eyed and breathing fast. I can still feel him against my thigh and it’s so damn distracting. I’m tempted to reach out and touch it but I don’t, I refrain, even though it goes against every ounce of my being. 

“Stop?” He asks, chest heaving.

Gods, this man.

I nod, not trusting my voice, and without another word, he’s pushing himself off of the couch and offering me a hand up as well. He adjusts himself in his pants and, by the mother, I can see it through his jeans. It’s one thing to feel it, it’s another to see it. I realize that I’m staring at his crotch far longer than I should be.

I look up to find Lorcan already watching me, smirking. Clearing my throat, I pull the strap of my tank top back up and straighten the rest of my clothes, knowing my cheeks, ears, and chest are red.

“So,” I say, clearing my throat. “Living here is a no then?”

“I don’t think so.” He gestures towards the door. “I’m ready if you’re ready.”

My eyes go to the spiral staircase. “Should we tell them we’re leaving?”

He takes my hand in his, lacing our fingers together as we head for the door. “Probably best if I don’t see Fen for a few days.”

I raise an eyebrow at him. “For telling me the truth?”

“Even if he didn’t mean to and was just running his mouth?” He looks down at me and sighs, but admits, “Yeah.”

His fingers loosen around mine and I think he’s expecting me to pull my hand away. But I don’t. As soon as we’re out in the hall, I say, “I’m glad he did. I’d rather find out now, than three months down the road.”

It’s quiet for a moment as we wait for the elevator. Just before it arrives, I whisper, “If you have any more secrets, now would be the time to tell me.”

The door opens and we step inside. “No more,” he says, pressing the button for the ground floor. “That’s the only one.”

As he says it, his fingers tighten around mine, as if he doesn’t want me to pull away.

I can’t help but think that means there’s more.

#til death do us part #tddup #elorcan #elorcan tddup #throne of glass #snacmc collabs #snelbz x tacmc collabs #elide lochan #lorcan salvaterre #lorcan lochan #lord lorcan lochan #elide x lorcan

[snelbz]

The Ranch {13}

An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.

Collaboration: @snelbz​ x @tacmc​

Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.

Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.

It was way too early for Cassian’s alarm to be going off, if he couldn’t remember anything from Rhysand’s wedding.

Fuck, his head killed. And his chest. And, shit, his entire body.

He realized the beeping wasn’t his alarm at the same moment he remembered what had happened.

With a sputtering cough, Cassian woke up and groaned.

He was in a hospital room, lying on a cot. His body was hooked up to monitors, so many things wrapped around him and poked through his skin that he wasn’t sure what they all were. He wore a hospital gown and a thin blanket was draped over his legs.

Every inch of his body throbbed.

He tried to say something, but nothing came out.

He slowly turned his head to one side. An empty chair sat there. Then he turned his head to the left, where Feyre and Rhysand laid together on a couch. 

It was their fucking wedding night, and it was being spent covered in his blood, laying on a shitty couch.

“Rhys,” he said, but his voice was quiet. He tried, again. “Rhys!”

Rhys’ eyes fluttered open, and after a second, they focused on him. “Cass, shit. Are you okay?”

Cassian’s eyes found the bottle of water on the low table in front of Rhys.

“Shit,” he breathed. He kissed the top of Feyre’s head, shaking her lightly. “Baby, wake up, Cass is awake.”

She was up, blinking rapidly. “Cass!” Her eyes immediately welled with tears.

Rhys stood, opening the water bottle and carefully giving Cass a drink.

He cleared his throat and said, voice rasping, “I’m so fucking sorry.”

Feyre sat on the edge of the cot and took Cassian’s hand gently in hers. “For what? Are you kidding me?”

“I ruined your day,” he said, eyes closing as his fingers wrapped around Feyre’s. 

“The only person at fault is Tamlin,” Feyre breathed, wiping her tears away. “I’m just glad you’re awake.”

Her voice broke on the last word, causing Cassian to open his eyes and give her a reassuring smile. “You can’t get rid of me yet.”

A laugh bubbled out of Feyre as Rhysand said, “If anyone should be apologizing, it’s me.”

Cassian looked at his best friend, at the guilt plainly written there and he shook his head. “No need. You’d do the same for me. Besides, who knew that asshole would pull out a fucking gun?”

Cassian tried to sit up but cringed, his whole body full of shooting pain as he decided to just stay put. 

“Just rest,” Feyre said, gently.

“Is Nesta here?” Cassian asked.

Feyre frowned, but it was Rhysand that said, “She’s in the room across the hall.”

Cassian stilled. “What? Why? What happened?”

“She was just dehydrated,” Feyre said, her hand still in Cassian’s. “Apparently she’d been puking her guts up all day yesterday. Which makes sense, I guess, but I had no idea. I should have been paying closer attention. If I knew, I would have made her relax.”

“She was puking?” Cassian asked, then looked at Feyre with a confused expression. “Why would that make sense? Make sense of what?”

A panic look formed in Feyre’s gray-blue eyes. “What?”

Cassian slowly took his hand out of Feyre’s. “You know something.”

“I do not,” she protested, crossing her arms.

Cassian slowly looked from Feyre to Rhys. “Why is your wife lying to me?”

But Rhys wasn’t looking at Cassian, his head was in his hands. Feyre said, “I’m so sorry, it slipped out. I’m just so tired, and it was such a shock that-.”

“What is going on?” Cassian demanded, grunting as he pulled himself into a sitting position. “Why was Nesta admitted? Is she okay?”

Rhys sighed. “They suggested we not tell you yet. The bullet missed your heart by millimeters, Cass. Any lower, and you wouldn’t be here. For that reason, they don’t want you dealing with any stressful situations and-.”

“Nesta’s pregnant.”

Rhys turned to glare at his wife, who shrugged, but Cassian only blinked once, twice, processing. He shook his head slowly, saying, “We can’t have kids. Nesta can’t have kids.” He sounded like he was trying to convince himself, but the words were distant to his own ears. “She told me she can’t conceive.”

“I know,” Feyre said, quietly. “She was told she couldn’t, Cass, but they ran the test and she’s pregnant.”

Cassian's lips snapped shut as a thousand different emotions flooded through his body. “I just… I don’t… I need to see her. Help me up.”

“You’re not going anywhere,” Rhysand said, shaking his head. “You were just fucking shot.”

“Don’t care,” Cassian said, shaking his head. “I-.”

“I’ll get her,” Feyre said. “Just...stay put. Alright? She’s in shock enough as it is, both from what happened and finding out….” Feyre’s words trailed off, exhaustion making her shoulders slump. “Just rest, and I’ll be back.”

Feyre slipped out the door and left Cassian and Rhys alone. “I’ll have Az get some clothes and whatever else you’ll need and bring them over to the house so we don’t have to stop on the way home.”

Cassian was only half listening. “What? No, I’m not staying with you.”

Rhys rolled his eyes. “Yes, you are. You were shot in the chest less than 24 hours ago.”

“I can’t leave the ranch,” he said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. To him, it was. “And I’m sure as shit not leaving my pregnant girlfriend there by herself.”

“Cassian, don’t be a dumbass, you can’t-.”

“No, don’t try that shit. You’d be doing the same thing, if the roles were reversed, and you know it.”

Rhysand scowled but didn’t correct him. “I’m the one with medical experience. Nesta’s not-.”

“She can handle a list of instructions, Rhys,” Cassian muttered. “And I can take care of myself.”

Rhysand’s head fell back, exasperated. “Stubborn ass.”

“Prick,” Cassian mumbled back. A moment passed before Cassian said, “If I need you, I’ll call. Besides, you just got married and have dealt with enough shit. I’m not intruding.”

“It’s not intruding if-.” He saw the look on Cassian’s face and sighed. “Fine,” Rhysand said. “But I’m not going to be happy about it.”

“I’m aware,” Cassian said, but now he was grinning, just a little bit.

That grin faded quickly, though, as Cassian looked at the empty doorway, waiting for Nesta to walk through it.

Rhys asked, “Are you okay?”

Cassian knew he wasn’t asking about the gunshot wound. He didn’t answer for a minute because he didn’t know. “I just… I don’t know.” He dragged his good hand down his face. “You don’t think she lied to me, do you?”

Rhys was shaking his head before the question was out. “No, she wouldn’t do that. But also…” Rhys had the decency to look at least somewhat guilty. “I might have had Viv pull her file and I looked through her medical history. She was diagnosed as ‘infertile’ at twenty-two, at a women’s clinic in France.”

Cassian knew he should be pissed at Rhys for the invasion of privacy, but at least knowing that Nesta hadn’t lied to him eased some of the panic he felt rising.

He nodded, slightly. A minute later, Feyre came back into the room, a pale Nesta behind her. One look at Cassian and her eyes were misty.

“We’ll give you two a minute,” Rhysand muttered, taking Feyre’s hand and escorting her out.

Nesta didn’t say a word as she walked to the side of the bed and plopped down in the chair that Feyre had been sitting in.

He turned to look at her, doing his best to hide the pain on his face whenever he moved his left arm. Or the left side of his body. Or his entire body.

“Tell the truth,” he said, wishing she would look at him, instead of at her bare feet on the floor. “Am I sexier now that I’m a hero?” She laughed, but it sounded more like a sob and when she looked up at him, there were tears running down her face. His voice was soft. “Baby…”

“I was so scared I was going to lose you,” she cried, unable to stop the rough, body-shaking sobs.

He pushed himself to the edge of the bed and brushed his fingers along her cheek. “Hey.”

She looked up, eyes red, and she whispered, “I’m so sorry.”

“For what?” he asked, cringing as he pulled her into him. She was gentle, careful for the wound as she buried her face into his neck.

“Feyre said she let it slip,” Nesta said, words muddled against his skin. “But I’m too shocked to be pissed, even though my reaction should be to kick her little ass.”

Cassian huffed a laugh, keeping perfectly still as his arm slid around her. Every ounce of his body cried to call for the nurse and get more pain meds in his system, but he’d wait. “Nesta-.”

“I promise I didn’t know,” Nesta said, voice quiet. “I promise I was told, years ago, that I couldn’t get pregnant, Cass.”

She leaned back and he caught the genuine fear in her eyes. He felt ashamed for doubting her, even for a second.

“I know,” he breathed. “I trust you.”

“I…” she sighed, shaking her head, her words falling short. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he said, taking her chin gently in his hand and forcing her to meet his gaze. “I’m not mad. Shocked, completely fucking shocked...but I’m not mad.” 

They sat there for a moment, looking at each other, not saying a word. Neither of them had said it yet, but they were both thinking it.

“We’re having a baby,” Nesta breathed.

Cassian took a deep breath and nodded. “We’re having a baby.”

She could see he tried his hardest not to, but the grin was infectious. She began to smile as well. The tears slowed, but didn’t stop.

“I’m scared,” she said, voice small.

“It’s okay,” he whispered, brushing the wild wisps of hair out of her eyes. “I’m not going anywhere, okay? I’m going to be there, every step of the way. I love you, and I’m not going anywhere, alright?”

She nodded.

“It’s okay to be scared,” he went on, that low voice soothing. “I’m scared, too.”

She met his gaze with a wistful smile. For a moment, neither of them said a word, but then Nesta frowned. “What the fuck are you doing? Lie back down. Does the nurse even know you’re awake?”

Cassian rolled his eyes. “I am lying down.”

“All the way, against the pillows,” she ordered, already on her feet to reach for the remote on the side of his bed. She pressed the nurse call button.

He groaned. “Nes, I’m fine, they’ll probably release me today and-.”

“You took a round to the chest!” She said, voice rising. 

She didn’t want to cry anymore, but damn it, every time she closed her eyes, she would see him lying in his own blood. “You have to take it easy,” she said, after taking a deep breath. She placed a protective hand over her still flat stomach. “We both do. Doctor’s orders.”

Cassian’s jaw locked, but he nodded, nonetheless. “Fine.”

The door swung open and the nurse came in. She gave Cassian a bright smile. “Glad to see you awake. How are you feeling?”

“Like I got shot,” Cassian said, that grin returning.

The nurse chuckled. “Well, the doctor is allowing you to go home today. He has prescribed you pain meds and wants to make sure you don’t live alone.”

Cassian opened his mouth to reply, but Nesta was already saying, “He doesn’t.” 

“Good,” the nurse said, taking Cassian’s vitals. “You’ll need to take it easy for the next few weeks. I’ve made you a follow up appointment for next week. Other than that, no physical activity of any kind. Your doctor will tell you more at your follow-up, but until then, rest as much as possible. Even if the meds are working really good and you feel like getting up and doing stuff...don’t.”

“I guess now is a bad time to mention I run a ranch,” he said, opening and closing his left fist, trying to get used to the sling he’d woken up in.

Nesta’s eyebrows rose at his words, but she said nothing. 

The nurse chuckled and scribbled something on a clipboard, tucking it back into its slot at the end of the bed. “Well, I’d say it’s time to look into hiring a ranch hand.”

She left without another word and Cassian mumbled, “I am the ranch hand.”

“Azriel and Rhysand said they’ll help,” Nesta said, when they were alone. “And my sisters. And I’ll help, too.”

“You’re pregnant,” Cassian said.

“Pregnant, not useless,” Nesta shot back. “I can still help.”

Cassian sighed, nodding. “I know, I just… I can’t just sit back and relax.”

“It’s only temporary,” Nesta said.

Cassian took a moment to think about all the things he did every day. Sure, with the five of them, it should be fine. But they all four had real world jobs, with real world schedules. Well, all but Rhys. His would change every few weeks, depending on who’s rotation he was on. And the rolls of hay he fed the horses, those weighed damn near seven or eight hundred pounds, and that’s if they were bone dry. The image of Elain and Feyre trying desperately to move a sopping wet, heavy roll of hay made him chuckle.

Nesta looked at him and he sighed. “Having a ranch hand around might not be a bad idea, but only until I’m healed.” He carefully pressed a hand to his bandaged chest and winced. “But it’s only temporary,” he said, repeating Nesta’s words.

“Exactly,” she whispered. “Now, let’s get you home.”

Rhysand came in with a bag of clothes Azriel had brought. Once he was dressed and discharged, the whole bloodied crew walked out into the early evening light. Even though they all had changed and were no longer covered in Cassian’s blood, they all needed a serious shower. Nesta could still feel the dried blood in strands of her hair. 

Feyre and Rhysand dropped them off at the ranch and into Nesta’s little house. She was going to take him to the main house and into the master bedroom, but the thought of all those stairs had Cassian cringing.  

So he helped himself, despite everyone’s protests, up the three steps of the front porch and through the front door, then into Nesta’s bedroom, where he slowly laid back against the blankets.

“Call if you need anything,” Feyre said, only for Rhysand to repeat the statement. She promised she would then they were off. 

Cassian had already fallen asleep, Beau now laying at his feet, when Nesta padded into the washroom for a shower.

She turned the water on, turning the handle as far to the left as it would do, and waited until steam poured out over the frosted glass door and stepped in. Nesta hissed as the stream hit her back, scalding her, but also making her feel...something.

The last couple of days had been some of the worst of Nesta’s life.  She had moments where she couldn’t breathe, where she could barely find the strength to keep going. Especially when she had no idea where Cassian’s life sat in limbo.

She leaned her forehead against the tile, doing her best to quiet the sob that tore from her. She had done her best to be strong while they were at the hospital. The only time she’d cried was in the waiting room and when she finally got to see that Cassian was alive and well.

And when she’d found out she was pregnant.

She’d stared at Elain, not sure if she’d heard her right, but when she repeated herself, and showed Nesta the positive pregnancy test on her scans, Nesta had started sobbing.

She’d cried because she was scared. She had no idea how to bring a child into the world, only that it hurt like hell. She’d cried because she had no idea how Cassian was going to respond. This wasn’t planned, it was the opposite. This was unexpected. She’d cried because she was shocked. She didn’t even know what to say, no words could encompass how she felt.

But mostly, she cried because she was so, so happy.

With her forehead pressed against the tile wall, Nesta pressed a protective hand over her stomach, no sign of the precious life showing inside.

She was going to be a mother.

To Cassian's child.

Cassian, who she loved, who almost left the world far too soon.

It was so incredibly overwhelming.

She stayed in the shower until her eyes dried, until there were no tears left to cry. She stayed until the water turned lukewarm and she no longer felt Cassian's blood on her skin. She stayed until she was yawning, until she longed for her own bed, lying next to him.

The water turned off and she got out and dried off before walking back into her bedroom, where Cassian laid, scrolling through his phone.

The second she walked across the threshold, his eyes raked over her naked body. Then, he said, eyes narrowed, “You were crying.”

Nesta didn’t deny it, but she walked to the other side of her bed, where her dresser was. “It’s been a long few days.”

“Yeah,” Cassian said, quietly. “Hey, come here.”

Nesta slipped on her panties before walking over to her bedside and falling onto her bed, next to Cassian. He watched her with soft, gentle eyes.

“You know you can talk to me, truthfully, about anything, right?” He asked, quietly.

“Of course.” She was thankful that months of sleeping next to each other had already obligated their sides of the bed. She was also thankful that his side was the left side, allowing her to carefully curl into his side, throw her leg over his hips and snuggle into his neck. “I’m just…processing.”

“Processing is okay,” he mumbled, turning her lips to his. “I just want to know that you’re okay.”

“I am,” she said, or will be, she thought.

Sleep.

She needed sleep.

It wasn’t five minutes later that she drifted into a deep, unyielding sleep. She slept perfectly, dreamless, which after the last few days, she welcomed a peaceful night.

She awoke, feeling rested, the next morning, thanks to the sunlight streaming in through the windows, and Beau hopping off the foot of the bed.

Nesta still laid in her panties, a thin blanket tossed over her, but she was completely alone. She shot up, panic setting in.

“Cassian?” She called, knowing full well that she was being frantic, but didn’t care, not after all that had happened.

“Calm down,” he said, deep voice floating into the bedroom. “I’m taking a piss.”

With a relieved sigh, Nesta fell back against the pillows.

He gripped the door frame as he appeared, slowly making his way back into the bedroom. “Are you okay?”

She was immediately up, rounding the bed and wrapping her arm around his good side. She took as much of his weight as she could, which wasn’t much. “I’m fine. You should have asked for help.”

“I’ve been using the bathroom by myself for twenty-seven years,” he said, groaning as she helped him settle back into the pillows. “I think I can handle it.”

“Yeah, well, you’re recovering from a bullet in your chest now, so that changes things.” She leveled a look at him and grabbed one of his ratty, old t-shirts from his designated drawer in the dresser. She padded down the hall towards the kitchen. “I’m going to make coffee, do you want some?”

“Please.” He yawned and froze, grabbing for his phone. “Shit, what time is it?”

Nesta’s voice floated from the kitchen. “Quarter after eight. We slept hard.”

He didn’t reply, because he was reading the text messages on his phone.

When she came back, mugs in hand, she still found him reading. “Everything okay?” He didn’t answer. She hurried to him, setting their coffees on the nightstand and sitting next to him on the edge of the bed. “Cassian, what is it?”

He blinked. “They… they took care of everything.”

She softly smiled. “They said they would.”

It was still surprising though. Thank the cauldron Rhys had worked for Isaac as well all those years ago, and that he knew not only what he was doing, but where everything was kept. He was also very thankful that Isaac had instilled the same work ethic into Feyre and Elain that he had in Nesta.

“They want you to rest, my love.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead before standing. “Which is exactly what you should be doing.”

She turned, heading for the bathroom herself, but he caught her wrist, tugging her back lightly. “You should be, too.”

She stood right at the edge of the bed and he leaned over pressing the gentlest of kisses to her stomach.

Nesta’s eyes softened as she ran her fingers through his hair. “Why do I feel like you’re going to be spoiling me?”

“Because I am,” he muttered against her skin, giving her another feather-like kiss.

“I don’t like to be spoiled,” Nesta muttered, grinning.

“Liar,” Cassian crooned, then leaned back against the pillows, face distorted.

Nesta took the pill bottle off the bedside table and handed him one with a bottle of water. “Take it.”

He groaned, but didn’t protest. 

“I have work to do to get ready for opening day,” Nesta said. Including cleaning the stables, she thought. “If you need me, call me.”

“No, no.” Cassian held onto her. “You’re not working today either. No, you’re staying here.”

She rolled her eyes. “I’m only seven weeks pregnant, Cass, not seven months. I can still do pretty much everything I was doing before I found out.”

He didn’t budge. “What if I said I wanted you to stay with me?”

“I’d say that I love you, but we have things we have to do.”

“You may not like to be spoiled but I do,” he murmured.

Nesta snorted as she walked to the dresser and pulled out shorts and a tee shirt to pull on. “I promise I’ll spoil you this afternoon.”

“You better,” he said, sighing. “Until then Beau will have to spoil me.” As if in answer, Beau let out a big yawn and rolled over to go back to sleep. “Thanks, bud. I know I can always count on you.”

Nesta chuckled and kissed his forehead. “I love you.”

“Love you.” Cassian reached for the remote control and flipped through the channels and Nesta went into the bathroom to get ready.

Thirty minutes later, travel mug in hand, Nesta opened her front door, ready to head up to the house and see what needed her attention.

And was met with two police officers.

She let out a small yelp and pressed her hand to her heart.

“Sorry, Miss,” the older cop said, gently. “Are you Nesta Archeron?”

“I… yes,” Nesta began, hesitantly. 

“We’re here about the incident that happened here the other night,” the one went on, while the younger cop remained silent.

“Okay,” she said, slowly. 

“May we ask you some questions?”

“Of course,” Nesta said, leaning back against the doorframe. 

“Can you tell us what happened?” The older one asked.

She pursed her lips and said, “My sister’s insane ex-boyfriend crashed her wedding, got drunk, and shot my boyfriend.”

The younger of the two, flipped through his notepad. “Would that be… Cassian Nazari?”

“Was there someone else who got shot that night?”

Nesta turned, finding Cassian limping from the bedroom.

“Mr. Nazari?” He asked.

“Cassian,” he said, extending his good hand to both officers. They accepted and he said, “You find the asshole who did this to me yet?”

The older cop hesitated. “Yes, but he was let out on bail. You may be needed to testify in court, when his hearing comes, but we wanted to come get a statement-.”

“He’s not in jail?” Nesta asked, exasperated. “He fucking almost killed-“

“It’s okay,” Cassian said, softly, his hand a gentle support on her elbow. “I’ll be there.”

“Good,” the cop said. “We’ve taken your statement, Miss Archeron, and it will be filed in the report. Is there anything else you wish to be recorded?”

There’s a lot I’d like to say, Nesta thought, but she remained tight lipped and silent. 

“Tamlin was trying to shoot the groom, Rhysand Lunasa,” Cassian went on. “I got hit by mistake. I’m sure you’ll be wanting a note from the surgeon, but I nearly died. He was drunk, yeah, but Tamlin knew what he was doing.”

“And Mr. Lunasa, he’s the one who performed triage until the ambulance arrived?” He asked.

“Yes,” Cassian said, nodding. “He’s an EMT.”

The older one asked, “Miss Archeron, we noticed you recently returned from living in Europe for an extended period. You don’t think this could have anything to do with the attack?”

Nesta opened her mouth to reply, but Cassian said, “That’s irrelevant. She moved her after the death of her father. This was a targeted attack that went wrong, and you should have never let him bail out.”

The younger cop froze while the older cop’s eyes narrowed. “You may want to watch your tone, boy.”

“With all due respect,” Cassian went on, “I just had to be rushed into emergency surgery because a bullet nearly hit my heart. I want my pregnant girlfriend to be able to sleep well at night, and that may be kind of hard to do with the guy that almost murdered me, and intended to murder my best friend, her brother-in-law, still walking around.”

Nesta knew that tone.

Cassian was pissed.

And he had the right to be.

The older cop’s eyes softened as he let out a sigh. “I understand your concern, but that is out of my hands. The court date is next Monday. If you need help or have concerns before then, call the station.”

“Will do,” Cassian said, voice like ice. “Have a nice day, officers.” He wrapped an arm around Nesta’s waist and pulled her back into the house, closing the door and locking it, for good measure.

She walked into the kitchen and braced her hands on the counter.

“Nes-.”

“They let him out on bail? Are you fucking kidding me?”

He limped over to the kitchen, turning her around and pulling her into his side. “I know, baby. It’s bullshit, but there’s no defense. They’ll lock him up and-.”

She shook her head and pushed on his stomach carefully. “He’ll be in the wind. He’s not going to stick around. I need to call Feyre.”

Cassian opened his mouth to protest, but then he nodded, slowly. Nesta hated to put such a damper on Feyre and Rhysand’s newlywed days, too, but this was crucial. Her sister had to know. She called Feyre, who answered on the second ring, and gave her a quick overview. For the entire phone call, Cassian stood on the threshold of the kitchen, watching, waiting, concerned. 

His eyes were full of worry as he beheld Nesta.

She hated that look, that concern. Worrying about her would do him no good.

The second she hung up the phone she let out a loud, frustrated noise in the silent kitchen. Beau instantly reacted, hurrying into the kitchen to see what was the matter. 

“This is so fucked up,” Nesta breathed, shaking her head vigorously. “This is so fucked up!”

“Nes,” Cassian warned. 

“No,” she said, and she knew she was crying, knew she looked panicked, looked ridiculous in her current state, but she didn’t care. She sobbed, her body shaking. “This is so fucked up, Cass. They’ve been married for mere days and they have to worry about Feyre’s ex? He fucking shot you, Cass! He nearly killed you, you nearly died! I find out I’m pregnant, and you almost die.”

The look in Cassian’s eyes shattered as he attempted to take a step forward, but the meds had yet to kick in, and he had already been moving more than he should have been. “Nesta, I need you to relax, stress isn’t good for the baby-.”

“Relax?” she breathed. “What makes you think I can relax right now? He can be out there anywhere. He could be on our property!”

“He’s not though,” Cassian said, gripping the door frame, the room beginning to spin. “He’s- he’s long gone, and-.” With a deep breath, he turned and started for the bedroom. “Nes, I gotta lay down.” He held onto the wall as he walked and felt Nesta under his arm a second later. “You’re going to strain yourself.”

She asked, “Would you rather fall on your face?”

He didn’t think that warranted a response. She helped him back into bed. He fell back, a hand pressed to his wound. Nesta watched and her heart broke. “I… Cass…”

She was powerless to stop the sob that broke from her. Cassian felt powerless to help.

“Sweetheart, please.” He held his hand out to her. She shook her head.

“I don’t- I don’t even know why I’m crying,” she said, burying her face in her hands.

“You’re overwhelmed, Nes, you need to breathe.” Cassian reached out, rubbing her lower back. “Why don’t you take a warm bath?”

She shook her head. “I need to go start trying to clean-.”

“Nesta, so help me God, you’re carrying my child. You can’t be stressing out. I will call Azriel. He’ll handle it.”

She fell onto the bed, beside him, sobbing uncontrollably as he rubbed her back in slow, soothing circles. She knew he didn’t feel comforted, knew he was in pain, knew the past few days had just as much affect on him as they had on her, if not more, but he said nothing. All he did was comfort her, his love, the mother of his child.

“I need sleep,” she said, as she cried. “I need fucking wine but I can’t fucking have it anymore.”

Cassian’s hand stilled, as if he wanted to say something, but it quickly began, once more. Those small circles being drawn on her back was all that kept her from completely losing her shit.

Her sobs eventually turned into nothingness. Beau’s chin was resting on her leg as Cassian continued to rub her back. She felt guilty. She should have been the one comforting him, but she didn’t stop his soft, soothing fingers. 

“Sleep,” he said. “Rest, Nesta, take a day to yourself. Stay here with me, collect your thoughts. You can start on your stuff tomorrow. For today...just relax. Please.” 

She sniffled, the only sound the tv on some mindless show in the background, and nodded. “I need to make an appointment, to see my doctor.”

Cass nodded. “I’ll get your phone.” Nesta raised her head and just stared at him. “Or I’ll stay right here and let you go get it.”

“Exactly.” She rolled over and laid her hand on her stomach, looking down at it. “You’re already messing with mommy’s emotions, aren’t you?”

Mommy.

Cassian’s throat tightened as he looked at her. He couldn’t help but imagine what she was going to look like in a few months, belly rounded out, carrying his baby.

“Nes, I- I know all of this was unexpected and probably not the best timing, but…” He cleared his throat, surprised that his voice was wavering. “I don’t think I’ve ever been this happy. Ever.”

Nesta’s eyes softened as she looked up at him. “I’m happy too, Cass. You’re right...it’s not the best timing...but, I’m happy, too.”

Cassian reached up to brush her hair behind her ear. “You’re going to be an amazing mother.”

“I don’t know about that,” Nesta answered, in all honesty. She had gotten used to never imagining herself as a mother, much less being a good one. “But you’re going to be one hell of a father.”

“A family,” Cassian breathed, and she recognized the look in his eyes. A family was something that Cassian never had, but wanted so desperately. “Me, you, and baby.”

“Yeah,” she whispered, and despite herself, laughed, quietly. “A family,”

“We’re going to get through this, Nes,” he said, meeting her gaze. “And when we do, it’s going to be beautiful.” 

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better,” she mumbled, as she scrolled through her phone for her doctor’s number.

“And did it?” he asked. “Make you feel better?” 

“A little,” she confessed, setting her phone down to meet his tired gaze.

“Stay with me today,” he begged, quietly. “Spoil me. Tomorrow, I’ll let you work your ass off...but, today, be lazy with me. Please.” 

She nibbled on her bottom lip, calculating all she had to get done before the opening of the B&B next week, but she nodded, slowly. “Fine.”

Cassian smiled. “Thank you, now part one of spoiling me includes taking a relaxing bath.” He pointed to the bathroom. “Go.”

Nesta nodded and leaned up to kiss his cheek. “Okay. Then how about I make breakfast?”

Cassian chuckled. “Sounds perfect, because I’m starving.”

Nesta shook her head and climbed off the bed, stopping at her dresser for clean clothes, but Cassian said, “Oh, and part two of spoiling me is getting out of the bathtub naked, sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

Nesta rolled her eyes but didn’t protest as she went into the bathroom, stripped down, and started to fill the tub. She could hear him in the bedroom, watching something sports related on the t.v. as she sunk into the water. It filled up around her as she closed her eyes, then turned the faucet off with her toes. She tried to push the thoughts out of her mind, tried to push away her fears and anxieties, but it only worked so much. Nonetheless, she did her best to relax before washing herself with her favorite lavender soap and pulling the plug to let the water drain.

She dried herself off, brushed out her hair, and rubbed lotion all over her body before entering the bedroom.

Cassian was already looking at the doorway, apparently having heard her approaching. 

Beau was sound asleep on the rug, snoring softly as Nesta meandered into the room.

The look in Cassian’s eyes had her toes curling.

“No physical activity,” Nesta warned. “Doctor’s orders.”

“The doctor has never seen your tits.” His voice was deeper than normal, slower, and she climbed into bed next to him, seeing his eyes glassy, she knew why.

“How do those pain meds got you feeling?” She chuckled, knowing they’d finally worked their way into his system.

He shrugged, but wrapped his good arm around her waist, pulling her against his body. His nose was in her damp hair, breathing deeply and inhaling her scent. “Like I could make you feel good.”

Nesta chuckled as she settled back into the pillow and stole the remote from him, turning it from the football highlights and flipping through channels. Cassian protested and said, “I was watching that…” Without looking at him, Nesta flipped the top half of the blanket down, exposing her bare chest. He nodded and said, “Remote is yours, yes, ma’am.”

He fell against her shoulder, his mouth finding its way against her neck. She chuckled, flipping through the stations. “Cass.”

“Hmmm,” he mumbled, tongue brushing her skin, kisses trailing down to her collarbone.

“Rest,” she ordered.

“I am,” he argued.

“You are not,” she laughed, then pushed him back by his forehead.

He frowned, then yawned. “Your tits help me relax.”

“My tits make you do the opposite of relax. I’m putting on a shirt.”

“No.” He laughed, quietly, pulling on her hand before she could move. “I’ll be good. I promise.”

She found a lifetime movie that could play in the background and laid his hand on her stomach. She curled up against him and sighed.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked, his thumb rubbing slow circles against her abdomen.

“Just…how we’re going to do all of this.” At his questioning glance, she went on. “Run a newly reopened B&B, maintain the ranch, and juggle a newborn? It’s only the two of us and we’re about to need a lot more hands. Not to mention who knows how long until you’ll be back to work.”

He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “I’ll be back at it next week. I don’t really give a shit what the doctor says, we’ve got animals that count on me.” He saw the protest in her eyes but forged on before she could interrupt. “As for the B&B, maybe we should hire a manager or an assistant for you. Something to help with the business side of it. And lastly, we’re going to have the most badass kid of all time, he’ll be helping us on the ranch before you know it.”

Nesta glanced up at him. “He?”

Cassian’s cheeks reddened, not even realizing he’d made that slip. “I’ve always wanted a boy first. I want someone I can play with, get rough with. I want a built in roping partner. I’ll be over the moon if we have a girl, don’t get me wrong. But gods, I want a boy.”

Nesta looked up at him and kissed his cheek, softly, before saying, “If it is a boy, I hope he looks just like his daddy.”

Cassian's smile was so genuine and bright and utterly beautiful that Nesta couldn’t help but kiss him, once more, slowly, tenderly, on his lips.

They laid like that for hours until morning turned into afternoon, until they both fell asleep, peacefully, wrapped in each other’s arms.

#the ranch nessian #sharacollab #shara writes #snacmc #tacmc snelbz collab #theranchnessian #nessian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[snelbz]

The Ranch {15}

An A Court of Thorns and Roses, Nesta x Cassian, Modern AU, fanfiction.

Collaboration: @snelbz​ x @tacmc​

Summary: Nesta had spent years in Paris, living her dream and drowning in riches as a gourmet chef, capturing the hearts of the city and its people. But, after her father passes away unexpectedly and leaves his cozy, countryside B&B to his oldest daughter, Nesta is moving back home to the tiny town of Velaris, where the ranch, her sisters, and her father’s unfulfilled dream, awaits.

Sidenote: Being posted between two blogs, it is too chaotic to keep up with a tags list, so all chapters will be tagged with “#TheRanchNessian” & “#SharaCollab”.

Opening day had arrived and Nesta was caught somewhere between puking and a heart attack. She hadn’t slept at all, but she wasn’t tired in the least. Cassian, however, had snored the night away beside her, not caring what day it was. She envied his ability to sleep through chaos.

Although it probably wasn’t chaotic for him.

He didn’t stress about much.

She envied him for that, too.

It was just after five a.m. when Nesta hauled herself out of bed. She did yoga, a simple workout that had been approved by her doctor, then drank a glass of water and a glass of freshly squeezed lemonade.

It was all she wanted, lately.

Lemonade.

Freshly squeezed.

After letting Beau back in the house, she checked the clock, once more. It was nearing nine, and Elain would be showing up, soon, with a haul of bouquets to decorate throughout the main house. 

Nesta and Cassian were still staying in the master bedroom. It was easiest as she prepared for the opening, and Nesta was starting to think that it was best, overall. His cabin was small, and so was the house that she occupied on the land. She wasn’t certain how she would feel once guests began checking in, but for now, the master bedroom of the main house had been treating them well.

Nesta planned to dress in a modest sundress and sandals, laying it out to wear, and all the while, Cassian stayed sleeping soundly, Beau snoring once again at his feet. 

She didn’t bother to wake him, not yet.

The celebration didn’t begin until one.

As she stood in their bathroom, she pulled the measuring tape around her stomach, which was still flat as could be. She held the tape up, her thumb indicating where the end of the tape had lined up with the tick marks and looked at it.

She had gone down. By four millimeters.

She groaned, sitting down on the edge of the porcelain, and rubbed her fingers into her temples. So far this baby had made her vomit constantly, she hadn’t woken up without a headache in over a week, and she had probably consumed enough lemonade to ensure she’d never need to take a vitamin C supplement again.

And she had nothing to show for it.

Save for her massive, heavy tits.

Cassian had noticed, which, honestly, wasn’t saying much. 

She sighed and stepped into the dress, pulling it up and reaching behind to zip it, which wasn’t a problem, until she reached her back.

It wouldn’t zip.

The fucking dress wouldn’t fit over her breasts.

She groaned, staring at herself in the mirror, the dress remaining unzipped. 

“Come on,” she said, cursing, trying again at the zipper.

It wouldn’t budge.

“Shit,” she muttered. “Cassian!”

Nothing.

The man slept like a brick.

So, she tried again, louder. “CASS!”

“Hmm? What?” his sleepy words came from the bedroom, and she instantly felt guilty for waking him, but she needed help. 

“I need you,” she said, turning around to show the half-zipped back of the dress in the mirror.

A minute later, a bare-chested, sleepy-eyed Cassian padded into the bathroom. He took one look at her and raised a brow. “You look nice.”

“My dress won’t zip,” she snapped.

“It’s your tits,” Cassian mumbled, and Nesta’s lips formed a tight line.

“Yeah, I know,” she snapped. “Help me, please.”

With a sigh, Cassian came up behind her and tugged on the zipper. It moved maybe half an inch, but not anymore than that. “Babe, it’s not going to zip.”

“Well, try harder!” she scolded.

He sighed again, knowing better than anyone not to argue with a pregnant woman, but more specifically not this pregnant woman.

He pulled and pulled and pulled, until he knew it wasn’t going to budge and he looked at her in the mirror. He gently rested his hands on her shoulders and said, “If I zip this dress up, you won’t be able to breathe, and if you do, these gorgeous, amazing, huge breasts are going to make a special guest appearance for our first guests.” He reached around from behind and palmed them through her dress, hoping to at least make her smile.

The scowl she was giving him through the mirror could have frozen Hell itself.

Cassian quickly dropped his hands. “Do you have another dress you can wear?”

“No,” she snapped. “I have very few, appropriate dresses and they’re all this size, in this cut.”

She tugged on the zipper another few times, but there was nothing.

“Fuck!” she cried.

Cassian frowned, trying to pull her into him for a hug, but she wouldn’t let him.

“I need a dress,” she said, hurrying from the room. “I need something.”

“Hello?” Elain’s voice traveled through the house from downstairs.

Cassian let out a breath. “Thank the gods.”

Nesta shot him a look, but he only held his good arm up in surrender.

“Up here!” Nesta growled, frustration still lacing her tone.

Elain was in the doorway a moment later, eyeing Nesta, then a disheveled Cassian. “Something looks off. There’s a situation happening here, isn’t there?”

“My dress won’t zip,” Nesta snapped.

“It’s her tits,” Cassian supplied.

Elain cleared her throat. “Well, let me take a look.”

She walked up behind Nesta and tried the zipper, but it still wouldn’t budge. After digging her phone out of her pocket, she said, “We have a few hours yet. How about I take you into town a minute to find something new?”

“There’s no time! I still have so much to do and I haven’t even started baking and-.” Nesta began to hyperventilate, something she’d never done in her life, but thanks to these damn hormones, something that was triggered nearly every time she cried.

Cassian was there in an instant, his hands framing her face. “Sweetheart, breathe. It’s okay. I can handle everything, except the baking. Go with Elain, pick up a dress that will accommodate your growing...assets, and come back and everything will be ready for you.”

Nesta nodded, wiping away the few tears that had slipped out. She mumbled, “They’re not assets.”

Cassian looked like he wanted to protest, but didn’t. “Go. I will finish the last minute details. When you come back, all you’ll have to do is bake, and I’ll be there to help you with that, too.”

“I do like ordering you around,” she muttered.

“Exactly,” he grinned. “Alright? Go with Elain. I’ve got this.”

She nodded, hesitantly, but didn’t complain. “Okay.”

“Okay,” he breathed, then looked to Elain, thanks in his eyes. 

He gave Nesta a slow, soft kiss before she left with her sister, quietly, in her shorts and tank top. Elain helped her into the passenger side of her car, even though Nesta didn’t need help. It was her sister’s way, though, with her gentle spirit. 

They drove into town, mostly in silence. She was grateful for her sister, for her gentleness, her caring-ness, her kindness, but she had nothing to say. All Nesta could think about was what Cassian was getting done in her absence. 

Elain parked downtown, on the main strip, just next to a little boutique they used to shop at all the time in high school. She followed her sister in and looked at a wall full of sundresses.

“Alright,” Elain said, clapping her hands together. “What are you thinking?”

“Literally anything that fits,” Nesta mumbled.

“Well,” Elain began, picking up a pink floral number that Nesta prayed was for herself and not her. “What size have you been? You don’t exactly need to jump straight into maternity clothes. So we’ll either need to pick a size up or find a more...forgiving fabric.”

Nesta glared at Elain over her choice of words, but she began to flip through the dresses. “I wear a four, so I guess I should look at sixes?” She held a dress up, but the lime green fabric nearly hurt her eyes.

“Or a stretchier four,” Elain reminded her. “How about this?”

She held up a pale yellow dress with a grey pattern stitched in. Nesta made a face of indifference. “Don’t know if yellow is a good color for me.”

Elain nodded. “That’s fair. Yellow isn’t a good color on anybody.”

Nesta chuckled and the two of them set to searching, each finding a few dresses Nesta didn’t absolutely despise.

She tried them on, but refused to show Elain any of them, no matter how much her younger sister protested. At last, she settled on a pale blue dress, reaching just above her knees. The spaghetti straps were decent in holding up the fabric that mostly covered her breasts. She changed into the clothes she had arrived in, claiming it was the one. After paying for it, she dragged Elain from the shop, ordering her sister to take her home. 

Elain didn’t argue. She wasn’t one to argue, anyway, but Nesta assumed it was mostly because of her current attitude. Nesta couldn’t apologize, though. She was too pregnant to care about her sister’s wishes, as awful as it sounded. 

When Elain was pregnant with Azriel’s spawn, Nesta would react the same.

True to his word, Cassian, with his good arm, was displaying Elain’s bouquets around the house, on every table and shelf. He had also vacuumed and dusted, once more, for good measure. He’d even gotten the things he thought she was most likely to need out on the kitchen island for her, although those things only consisted of sugar and flour.

Elain had made herself scarce, going to find Azriel and promising she’d be back to help as soon as Nesta needed her, and Nesta made her way upstairs, dress bag in hand. She heard the shower running and made her way into their room. The white dress she intended to wear - the one she’d specifically bought for this occasion - was still on the bed where she’d thrown it on her way out. It was next to Cassian’s sling.

She sighed and re-hung it on the plastic hanger and knocked on the bathroom door. Cassian’s muffled reply sounded and she let herself in.

He called over the water, “You find a dress, baby?”

She entered her closet and hung them both up, deciding not to wear the blue dress until after she’d finished baking. “Yeah. But I don’t like it as much as I liked my white one.”

“I’m sure you’re going to look as beautiful as you always do.”

Nesta smiled toward the shower, even though she knew he couldn’t see her. Well, not in-depth, anyways. The frosted glass allowed Cassian to see out just as much as it allowed Nesta to see in. And all she could see was a vast expanse of tan, naked, wet skin.

Gods it has been so long since they’d had sex.

Three more days and Cassian would be off of light-duty, as they’d jokingly started calling it. To the doctors, it meant Cassian was allowed to stop wearing the sling and was allowed to return to work, as long as he continued to have Az do the literal heavy lifting. But to the two of them, it meant the end of a nearly three-week-long dry spell. Longer than they’d had to go since they’d gotten together.

She nibbled on her bottom lip as she said, “Thank you for prepping for the opening.”

“Of course,” he replied, above the water. “Anything I can do to help. It’s nice to feel useful.”

She leaned against the doorframe of the bathroom to say, “The band should be arriving any minute now to set up. I could use a shower, so hurry up.”

“You could use a shower?” Cassian asked, pretending to be oblivious. “Were you inviting yourself? There’s room for two.”

“Three more days,” she warned.

“I can’t even see you naked?” he laughed, his heavy feet turning atop the tile. 

Nesta sighed. Of course, he could, but the temptation that came along with such had her toes curling. “Hurry up, Nazari.”

“Join me, Archeron,” he argued. Then, he added, “I promise to be nice.”

Nesta hesitated, but sighed and stripped off her clothes, quickly wiping the remnants of her tear stained makeup off. She tossed two towels on the vanity by the shower, knowing he hadn’t remembered to grab one for himself, and pulled open the door.

The warm steam enveloped her as she stepped in and was face to face with his, well, back. She reached up and traced the ink that swept from his left shoulder blade down the outside edge of his spine. The shiver that went through him had nothing to do with the cool blast of air she’d let in when she’d stepped in, but before he could turn, she’d wrapped her arms around his waist and hugged him from behind.

“Do you think people are going to like it?” Her cheek was pressed to his warm back. The question was quiet, barely audible over the water pattering on the tile.

“Like what?” He asked, after a moment.

“All of it,” she breathed. “My dress, my cooking, the opening. The B&B itself.”

He took a moment to respond before turning to meet her, his hazel eyes lit with surprise. His brows were scrunched together as he answered, “Of course they are. Nes, you have worked so fucking hard and you should be so proud at what you’ve accomplished. I know I am.”

She smiled, seeing the truth of his words in his eyes and leaned up to kiss him, pulling back when she was poked in the stomach. “Seriously?”

“It’s been a long few weeks,” he laughed, pulling her against him regardless. He kissed her, his lips still brushing hers. “He’s missed you.”

She laughed, “Oh, it’s him, is it?”

“Yes, him,” Cassian laughed. “I love you, but his obsession with you is an entirely different thing. He’s missed you. Give him some love.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Three more days.”

Cassian groaned, his head falling back. “If you tell me that one more time, I’m going to lose my shit.”

“I believe your shit is already lost,” she mumbled, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Just a quickie,” he whispered.

Nesta snorted. “No.”

“Please?” He asked, kissing her forehead, her nose.

“No,” she laughed.

“You have no idea how badly I need to be inside you.” He began to kiss her neck, her shoulder, and she let him, loving the feeling on her skin. “Let me make you feel good, baby. It will help make today easier, I promise.”

His mouth continued his assault on her neck while his hand traveled south, stopping to tug on a peaked nipple, which had Nesta whimpering softly. It continued to move down until it was over her stomach, fingers spread out. “I am so proud of you, sweetheart. You told me you were going to do this the very first day you came back and you did it. I love you so much.” He crouched, the spray of the water on his back, pressing a kiss to Nesta’s stomach. “And I love you. More than I can begin to explain. I can’t wait to meet you.”

Nesta was tearing up again, watching the man before her, this powerful man that put his life on the line for his best friend, for her, talking to their baby.

A knock came at the door. “Uh, Nes! The band is here…”

Cassian was back on his feet as Nesta called, “Be right out!”

“No she won’t!” Cassian followed.

Nesta laughed, rolling her eyes. “You’re going to make Elain uncomfortable.”

“What?” Cassian asked. “She knows I knocked you up, but us showering together is taboo? Yeah, okay.”

Nesta blinked. “Did you just say taboo?”

Cassian was peeking his face out of the glass, as if it helped amplify his voice. “She’ll be right out!”

He wrapped his arms around her one more time, even though he knew their time was short. “Hey,” he whispered, getting her to look up at him. “You’re going to kick ass today. I love you.”

She smiled up at him and rose up on her toes, pressing a kiss to his lips. “I love you, too.”

And he had no doubt. She would.

Twenty minutes later, Nesta was hurrying downstairs, t shirt and shorts on, hair dried but not yet styled, nor was her makeup done, and met Elain talking with the band in the living room.

“Hey, Lucien,” Nesta said, in a rush. “I’m so sorry. Times just gotten away from me today.”

Lucien grinned, and shrugged. “It’s all good. Elain’s organizational skills are coming in handy.”

Nesta winked at her sister. “Good.”

“I heard the news, by the way,” Lucien went on, nodding to Nesta’s stomach. “Congrats.”

Nesta’s smile softened. “Thank you.”

Elain cleared her throat. “So I was thinking we could set the band up over by the new stables. That’s where we’re serving the food, right?” A nod from Nesta while Lucien listened to his best friend’s instructions. “The vendor tables are going to be all along the west pasture edge and…” She looked down at her watch. “The bounce house will be here at twelve-thirty.”

“Great.” Nesta took a deep breath and was thinking through what all she had left to do.

Cassian’s heavy boots came thudding down the stairs, and he appeared around the corner. “Hey, Luce.” He shook his hand. “How’s that shit bag friend of yours that shot me doing?”

Lucien cringed. “I wouldn’t know. I haven’t spoken to him since he was sentenced.”

It had been an emotional day to say the least. They had all been asked to testify, and only Feyre and Nesta had declined. Nesta wasn’t sure her nerves could handle it, didn’t want her baby being flooded with those kinds of endorphins. Feyre told their lawyer she lacked the ability to be subjective.

As one of the intended targets, Rhys would have spoken regardless, but since he had been the one to keep Cassian breathing until they’d gotten him to surgery, his testimony was damning. As were Elain and Azriel’s, though Elain was more of a witness than any direct involvement. Azriel had had to retrace his steps, once in person and once over a map of the property. But all Cassian had to do was answer simple questions. His body, the trauma he’d gone through was evidence enough.

Cassian nodded, opening his mouth to speak, but Nesta cut him off. “Where’s your sling?”

“Come on, Nes, it’s a family fun festival,” he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “We’re a family, we’re gonna have fun, and I’m not doing anything today that requires my sling.”

“Put it on,” Nesta said, turning to go back upstairs and finish getting ready. “Or you’ll regret it. Elain, you got this?”

She gave Nesta a glowing smile and a thumbs up. She lived for party planning and when Nesta had tried to talk a price for helping, Elain had told her she was offended and to not bring it up again.

After walking back into the master bedroom, Nesta padded into the bathroom and started on her makeup. When she was pleased, she stripped off her tee and shorts and pulled on the pale, blue sundress. Outside the windows, she could hear vendors arriving and scurrying about.

Her nerves were going haywire.

It didn’t help that Cassian had yet to come get his sling. Not only did Nesta have to worry about everything else, but she had to worry about him, too. 

Nesta slipped on her sandals and unlocked the velvet box on the dresser, where she took out the necklace he had gotten for her. Standing in front of the mirror, she clasped it around her neck.

After grabbing Cassian’s sling off the bed, she was hurrying back downstairs.

She rushed into the kitchen after finding Cassian talking with Rhys, throwing the sling to him and hitting him directly in the face with the wadded up fabric. She tied an apron around her waist and began to whip up the batches she needed for the macaroons she was making.

After about twenty minutes, Feyre rushed in the backdoor. “Sorry, I know I’m late, I’m here!” She set her bags down and hugged Nesta. “I’m so happy for you.” She pulled away abruptly. “Are your tits…bigger?”

She sighed. “Does no one else know what happens to the female body during pregnancy?”

“I’ve learned, recently, first hand,” Cassian said, mouth full of baked goods. He had claimed he was helping Nesta, but he was doing no such thing.

Feyre shot Cassian a bemused look. “What kind of sex life could you two possibly be having right now-.”

“Feyre,” Nesta snapped.

“She’s right, no physical activity,” Rhysand muttered, his mouth also full of Nesta’s baking.

Nesta was rolling her eyes. “Feyre, can you take these two assholes and give them a job to do?”

“Damn,” Rhysand said, just as Cassian muttered, “Watch your language.”

This only earned them both a death stare.

They were instantly on their feet, following Feyre out of the back door.

Nesta sighed, thankful to her sister for giving her the small moment of peace and quiet in what she was expecting to be one of her busiest days yet. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and memorizing the scents around her: the warm, sweet smell of the baking macaroons; the rich, woodsy scent of her childhood home; the earthy scent of the rolling pastures. But there were also subtler smells around her, that were harder to pick up on, but just as important, like the unpleasant, but honestly, not that horrible once you get used to it manure; the hint of bleach and lemon from where she’d spent hours cleaning the kitchen yesterday; the heady pepper and spice scent of the love of her life.

Nesta tried to stop the quiet sob that left her mouth, but her hormones were so crazy. She was just so overwhelmed by where her life was, how happy she was in Velaris when she never thought she could be. She was having the baby she never thought she would with a man she never could have imagined.

And now she was carrying on her father's legacy, his dream. She looked out the window, watched as the flurry of people set up for the celebration that the whole town was invited to.

A celebration for her father, for his dream, for the rebirth of something Nesta once had no interest in, but now put her everything into.

The thoughts running through her mind had her eyes growing misty, but not with tears of sadness, only joy. 

After finishing up in the kitchen, Nesta walked out into the backyard, where everything seemed to have been already set up. There were lawn games spread out, the band set up by the stables in the distance, tables laid out where the caterers were setting up the food.

People would be arriving any minute.

“Excuse me, miss?”

Nesta turned to find a woman with a kind, familiar face approaching her. “Hi, welcome to Belles & Blossoms.”

She smiled fondly. “You don’t recognize me.”

Nesta blinked a few times. “Alis? Oh my, goodness! Hi!”

She embraced the sweet woman who’d taken an interest in a surly teenager in a diner, taught her to love cooking, and all manners of it, not just French gourmet.

“I heard you were back and reopening the B&B,” Alis smiled. “We will have to catch up some time so you can tell me all about your adventures.”

“I’d love that,” Nesta agreed. “I went by the diner a few months ago, but you weren’t working.”

“Well, I’m glad I hunted you down,” she chuckled. “Are your sisters here?”

“Somewhere,” Nesta said, looking around. All she could see was Cassian standing by the beer table, helping himself. When he caught her eye, he waved.

He still wasn’t wearing his damn sling.

“You’ll have to excuse me, Alis,” Nesta said, chuckling softly. “The resident thorn in my side is poking me.”

“Cassian Nazari is a nice boy, Nesta,” she said. “He’s been sweet on you for quite some time.”

She spun, looking at her quasi therapist, surprise on her face. “What?”

Alis laughed. “You always had your nose in a book, you never stopped to notice when someone was noticing you. Even all those years ago.”

She winked and headed towards the house, blending with the small crowd that had begun to accumulate. Nesta stared after her, blinking.

“You look lost.”

Nesta jumped, having been lost in her own thoughts, indeed. Cassian was standing behind her, watching her, thoughtfully, a plastic cup filled with beer in his hand.

Nesta’s look of surprise turned into one of frustration. Her eyes narrowed. “Where is your sling?”

Cassian blinked. “I don’t understand the question.”

“Cassian,” Nesta groaned, but he was only laughing.

“I’m fine, alright?” He held up his cup as proof. “Took my pain meds, got my alcohol, even Rhys says it's fine. I promise to put it on as soon as all these people leave.”

Nesta’s lips formed a straight line. “You’re trying to uphold your tough guy image, aren’t you?”

He nodded. “Absolutely, yes. Yes, I am.”

She pursed her lips, trying to keep the smile from forming, but Cassian saw the side of her mouth twitch. He saw the sparkle in her eyes that only came out for him. He wrapped her in both of his arms, holding her tightly and kissed her forehead.

She gazed up at him and smirked, “So what you’re saying is I shouldn’t tell them all how you cried during the end of Eight Seconds?”

His tone was one hundred percent genuine when he said, “He was riding for Lane, Nesta. Even you were tearing up.”

She laughed and leaned up on her toes, kissing him. “Or that you tear up when you tell me stories of what you want to do with our baby? Or when you talk to our baby? Or when you do anything that has to do with our baby?” She was laughing by the end, but silent happy tears were streaming down her own face.

Cassian watched her, absolutely adoring everything about the woman in his arms. He hugged her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and said, “Okay, you emotional basket case. Let’s go find you some lemonade.”

“I really like lemonade,” she whispered.

She was convinced it was her one true love, as of lately.

Cassian grinned. “I know, sweetheart.”

The entire town began to gather as they walked about the grounds, Nesta sipping on her lemonade as she greeted her guests. She was surprised by the turn out. She had hoped this many people would show up, but to actually watch it unfolding was miraculous. 

Cassian was his usually charming self and, true to his word, he seemed to know everyone.

“How are you feeling?” Mor asked, when they’d joined her on the porch. Her plate was piled high with Nesta’s macarons, as well as the barbecue they’d had catered for the event. How she managed to stay so fit but eat as much as she did was a mystery to everyone.

“I’m okay,” Nesta smiled. “The morning sickness is the worst part, not that I can even call it morning sickness. It happens at all hours of the day, with no warning.”

Feyre crinkled her nose. “Between that and your unintentional boob job, I’m beginning to think adoption may be a good fit for me.”

She laughed but Rhysand shook his head. “You told me last night you can’t wait to start having kids.”

She glared at him. “I said start trying to have kids.”

He chuckled. “My mistake.” He kissed the top of her head and headed to meet Az and Cass at the food table, which had apparently become a beer pong table.

Mor asked, “But aside from that, the pregnancy is...normal?”

Nesta laughed. Their friends had all had questions about it, whether or not she needed to take it easy for the next six months. They’d had questions about it, but at her doctor’s appointment the week before, he’d told her to follow the same precautions as a normal, expected pregnancy. It wasn’t staying pregnant that was a problem for Nesta’s body, it was getting pregnant.

She started to reply, but a deep voice behind her asked, “You’re pregnant?”

She turned and found Tomas and a friend on the porch steps. She looked around frantically, trying to locate Cassian in the crowd, or Rhys, Azriel, anyone that was Tomas fucking Mandray. They weren’t at the stables, not with the food. Her phone wasn’t on her. Mor didn’t know Tomas and Feyre and Elain didn’t know how truly deeply her fear of the man ran.

But Nesta nodded before turning her back to him, hoping he’d go away.

He didn’t. “Congrats.”

To anyone else, it would sound genuine, but when Nesta looked back over her shoulder, she saw the gleam in his eye, that familiar gleam, one she loathed with every ounce of her being.

He was pissed.

Years later, and he still thought he had some sort of claim on her. 

“Thanks,” she gritted out, through clenched teeth.

“Where’s the dad?” Tomas went on. “Have to congratulate him, too.”

Mor opened her mouth to answer, but Nesta was already saying, “Don't know.”

Tomas nodded, Elain shooting a worried glance at Nesta.

“Well, hopefully I run into him before the days done,” Tomas said, then winked, before walking away.

Nesta’s blood ran cold.

Elain places a gentle hand on Nesta’s knee. “Are you-.”

“I’m going to be sick,” she said, shooting to her feet and heading for the house. She knew her nausea had nothing to do with the child growing inside of her and instead to do with the man that couldn’t accept that she no longer belonged to him and never would again.

She threw herself up the stairs, where no one was, and fell into the bathroom, locking the door behind her. She was on her knees, her skin hitting the tile with such a force that she cried out as she hurled the contents of her stomach into the toilet.

She knew she was crying, knew her makeup was running, and it only grew worse as she thought, I have to get to Cassian.

What if Tomas did find him? Surely he wouldn’t congratulate him, surely he would have other things in mind.

And Cassian was in no condition to hold up his end of a fight.

But a soft knock came to the door.

“Nes?”

Cassian. His deep, calming voice floated through the door.

She tried to speak, but instead, another round of heaving hit her and Cassian tried the knob. “Sweetheart, the door is locked. Are you okay?”

She heard muffled voices from the other side of the door, barely registering that one was female. She tried to say something, anything, but it was as if her voice wouldn’t work. She climbed to her feet on wobbly legs and unlocked the door.

Cassian opened it, finding her with puffy, red eyes, streaks of mascara running down her face, and bruised knees where she’d dropped to the tile.

His gaze fell, heartbreak filling his eyes as he shut the door softly behind him.

“Elain found me, said something happened with Tomas.” His voice was soft, both of his hands cradling her face. Concern lacing his tone.

They had talked about Tomas before, but very little. Enough that he knew what had happened between them, knew the hatred and fear that Nesta felt when it came to her ex.

When Nesta didn’t answer, Cassian pulled her into his chest and held her tightly, closely.

“I hate him,” she whispered. 

“I know,” Cassian breathed, rubbing slow circles on her back.

“My face is ruined,” she said, and when she looked at his shirt and saw the mascara stain on it, her frown deepened.

“Makeup can be re-done, shirts can be washed. Not a big deal.” He kissed the top of her head and stooped to pull a makeup wipe out from under the cabinet. He handed it to her and pulled the shirt over his head, wincing slightly as he raised his left arm. Nesta’s eyes were concerned when he looked back at her. “I’m fine, I promise. Just sore. See?”

He went through the motions of the physical therapy Rhys had shown him and Nesta silently watched. The only reason she wasn’t making him put the sling back on is because Rhysand had said it was healing well and he could use the movement to keep it from getting stiff. She sighed and nodded, trying to salvage what she could of her makeup, while Cass leaned on the door frame, watching her. Still shirtless.

Nesta tried not to look at the puckered scar forming on his chest, even if he didn’t seem to have a problem messing with the tender spot.

“It’s all going to be okay,” he whispered, watching her with his arms crossed. They were the same words he had muttered a million times since he’d been shot.

Nesta just nodded, not quite believing them, not quite wanting to protest, either. She dropped the wipe in the wastebasket and met her reflection.

Good enough.

“Perfect,” Cassian said, his voice still low.

Nesta closed her eyes and took a deep breath before meeting his stare. “Okay.”

“Ready?” He asked, holding out his hand.

“I’ll go get you a shirt,” she said, in answer.

Cassian grinned. “What? I can’t go out like this?”

She rolled her eyes. “You’ll start a riot.”

He strolled into his closet and came back out in one of his old faded t-shirts he loved so much. She wanted him dressed a little more nicely, but she decided it didn’t matter what he was wearing. This was their home. Why put on an air that they were anyone but who they really were.

He took her hand, but when he headed for the door, she hesitated, tugging him back lightly. He looked at her.

Her bottom lip was between her teeth. It was a habit he didn’t even think she realized she had, but he knew she was truly worried when that full lip was caught in her teeth. He gently used his thumb to free it and leaned down to press his own lips to hers.

He asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Tomas said he… He wanted to congratulate you, on our pregnancy.” The words were small. Scared.

“Congratulate me?” Cass asked. “That doesn’t sound like him.”

“No, it doesn’t,” she said, taking a breath. The words began to flow out of her in a whoosh of air. “And that’s why it worries me. I don’t know what he wants to do to you, but you’re in no condition to fight, but I also really would prefer not to make a scene at our own grand opening, and-.”

“Nes, baby, breathe.” He rested his hands on her shoulders. “Breathe, sweetheart.” She did as she was told, tamping the hyperventilation down. “Do you really think Azriel and Rhys would let anything happen today? Or anything happen to me?”

She shook her head.

“Stop worrying,” he said, that little smile plastered on his lips. “If it helps, I’ll stay right close by until everyone leaves. Okay?”

“Okay,” she said, smoothing out her dress even though there were no wrinkles. She knew she was overreacting, but she couldn’t help it.

Not today.

It was all too much.

“Do you want to order pizza for dinner?”

Her head snapped up. A night to not cook, a night to eat greasy, cheesy food and just relax? “Please.” Then she added, “And can we watch a bad movie?”

He held her hand as they headed back downstairs and into the crowd. “The worst movie we can find.”

The rest of the afternoon had gone well. They hadn’t seen Tomas again, but Nesta kept Cassian within view until everyone left.

He knew she worried about him, and he didn’t want to cause her anymore stress. She had enough on her plate. 

Which is why Cassian was walking up the stairs of the little house, a box of pizza, a giant bottle of lemonade, and a twelve pack of beer in his arms. Since it was the first night of guests in the B&B, they would be spending their more private evenings in one of the little houses. Maggie would be on site from nine in the morning until five in the afternoons, Wednesday through Sunday. The guests all had the emergency number Cassian and Nesta had set up. Everything was going smoothly and he’d even stopped in to check on the guests on his way back to the house.

Tonight, Nesta needed to de-stress.

And Cassian had a few ideas on how to make that happen, starting with junk food and her requested “bad movie”.

The first step of that was already in motion. Nesta had been soaking in the clawfoot tub with a book for the past forty-five minutes while he picked up their dinner. 

Beau poked his head out through the newly installed doggy door, not quite used to the weird way he’d been getting in and out of his houses. He gave a short yelp of greeting and Cass tried to get him to come through the flapping door, but after a solid forty seconds of nothing, he gave up and opened the door.

He found Nesta in the kitchen, at the stove and he set the pizza box down on the counter. “I thought you didn’t want to cook.”

“I don’t,” she sighed. “I can’t stop thinking about the smell of mirepoix, even if I don’t have a dish to put it in.”

Cassian walked to the fridge, putting the lemonade and beer in, grabbing one for himself before shutting the door. He looked into the pan. “Onions, carrots, and celery?”

She nodded, taking a deep breath. “And butter and garlic.”

He chuckled, shaking his head.

Her wet hair was bundled on top of her head. Her face was bare, not a stitch of makeup on, and she was wearing one of his old rodeo t-shirts.

He turned her face towards him and softly pressed his lips to hers. “Gods, you are so beautiful.”

Her eyes narrowed but she could stop her small smile. “Stop doing that.”

“Doing what?” Cassian asked, cracking open his can.

“Complimenting me,” she said, simply, taking the giant bottle of lemonade he’d gotten and pressing it straight to her lips.

“No glass?” Cassian asked, amused.

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Why would I waste time with a glass?”

He couldn’t argue with that logic.

He gestured to the pan on the stove. “Do you want to put that on top of your pizza?”

She scrunched her nose. “No, the smell was enough. I’m ready to eat my pizza though.” She was eyeballing the box and Cassian laughed.

She started to clean up the kitchen and he put the pizza in her hands and said, “Go. Sit. Eat. I’ll handle this.”

Nesta smiled and did exactly that, while Cass put the cooked vegetables in a bowl to cool down. Looks like Beau was going to be getting a good meal tonight.

Eventually, Cassian finished up with the kitchen and joined Nesta on the couch. After a fierce debate about what exactly fits the parameters of being a “bad movie” and genuine offense from Cassian when Nesta picked one of his favorite childhood movies, they finally agreed on a cheesy romantic comedy and Nesta was asleep on Cassian’s chest almost immediately. He turned the tv down and changed it to roping highlights, scrolling through his phone. His good arm was still around her, but he was able to do what he needed with his left arm.

After about an hour, even he was tired from the day’s festivities. When his eyelids slid shut of their own accord for the third time, he knew it was time to move to the bed.

“Nes,” he whispered, peppering her brow with soft kisses. “Wake up.”

She stirred, but whimpered, forehead creasing as she frowned in her sleep.

“Nesta, wake up, sweetheart.” He gently shook her.

She gasped, eyes wide. “Where is he?”

He framed her frantic face with his hands. “He’s not here, baby. It was a bad dream.”

She was still breathing hectically, eyes searching everywhere, from shadows in the corners to the hallway behind them. “Bad dream?”

“Just a bad dream.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Come on, let’s go to-.”

The sound of glass shattering filled the small house and Nesta screamed. Cassian immediately pulled her into himself and covered her body with his.

Beau was barking, but the shattering had stopped. And once Beau realized they weren’t under attack, he quieted down, too, going to sniff at the middle of the room.

The silence was disconcerting. Nesta was quietly crying into Cassian’s chest and he unwound her fingers from in his shirt. He stood, following Beau to where he sniffed. He was careful not to step on the glass, picked Beau up before he could do the same, and herded a shaking Nesta into the bedroom. He calmed her down before coming back out and inspecting the item that had shattered not only serenity of their night, but also their front window.

A brick, with one, solitary word scrawled in baby blue paint:

Congratulations.

#the ranch nessian #theranchnessian #shara collab #sharacollab #snacmc #tacmc snelbz collab #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[snelbz]

Lost Time {11}

A/N: Hey, guess what? It’s another smut chapter. Like this is purely smut. Enjoy. As always, co-written by @tacmc​.

The drive was quiet, Azriel was looking out the window as she drove, but not quite paying attention. Because when they reached their destination and Elain got out of the car, Az froze and looked around. He got out and jogged up the porch behind her.

As Elain slipped her key in her front door, she breathed, “Would you like to come in for a drink?”

He nodded. “I’d love to.”

She smiled broadly and said, “First, you have to kiss me goodnight though.”

Azriel laughed, quietly, before taking her face into his hands and bringing his lips to hers. He kissed her slowly, deeply. Just when he thought he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from kissing her all night long, she pulled back, breathless, and with a sly, sweet smile, she pushed open the door and flipped on the light.

“Make yourself at home,” she said, tossing her purse and keys onto the coffee table. “I’ll get us some drinks.”

Azriel nodded and watched her disappear before sitting in an armchair. He wanted to look around, definitely wanted to snoop, but he pulled out his phone, instead, and called Cassian.

He picked up on the second ring. “Well, mom said you were safe, but I’m still a little bitter that you’ve waited this long to tell me as much.”

Azriel chuckled, keeping his voice quiet. “Sorry, I got….busy.”

There was a silence. “Busy? Busy with Elain? Busy busy?”

Azriel ran a hand down his face. “Yes.”

“Holy shit,” Cassian breathed, then he started laughing. “Yes? That’s all I get? I don’t even get details-.”

“I was just calling to let you know that I’m safe,” Azriel said, unable to stop himself from grinning. “We just got to her house so-.”

“SHE LET YOU IN HER HOUSE-.”

“Goodbye, Cass.” Azriel hung up and tossed his phone on the coffee table, just as Elain came back with a full bottle of wine and two glasses.

“Who was that?” She asked, opening the bottle and sitting on the arm of the chair.

Azriel ran a hand up her leg, skimming the hem of her dress higher up her thigh. “Cassian. I figured I should let him know I wasn’t lying dead in a ditch somewhere.”

Elain was filling the glasses and was about to say something when her phone rang from her purse. Her eyes slid to him. “That’s Nesta. What exactly did you tell him?”

A blush appeared on Azriel’s cheeks. “He wanted to know why I hadn’t called and I told him we got...busy.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Busy?”

He cleared his throat and nodded, while Elain crossed the room to answer her phone.

He could hear Nesta’s voice through the receiver from where he sat.

“No, Donovan’s at Miryam’s-.”

It was all Elain could get out before Nesta went on another rant. A blush crept high on Elain’s cheeks, to the tips of her ears. “Are you seriously having this conversation with me? Nesta, I have a kid, it’s not my first time-.” She was cut off yet again, and she met Azriel's curious gaze and rolled her eyes. He laughed, softly, as Nesta continued on. “No, Lucien left, he won’t be back.” Her words were soft, but they gave Azriel a selfish satisfaction. “Okay, I’ll let him know. Yeah, I love you, too. Bye.”

She hung up the phone and blew out a slow breath before making her way back to Azriel and sat on his lap, her arms around his neck.

“Let me know what?” He asked, his lips finding her neck.

“Oh, you know Nesta,” she said, quietly. “Threats and whatnot.”

Azriel pulled back, his eyes growing sad as he looked at her. “I swear I won’t hurt you again, Elain. It was the biggest mistake of my life, my biggest regret.”

He had said it a million times, and it never felt like enough.

But the sparkle in her eyes was genuine when she breathed, “I know. I trust you.”

He cupped the back of her neck and pulled her lips back to his. She hadn’t said it audibly, but they both heard the but she hadn’t said.

But my sisters are a different story.

Elain pulled away and finished pouring the wine and they each took a sip - before Azriel spit his back into the glass and Elain made a low whining noise, her face scrunching up in disgust.

“What the hell is that?” Azriel asked, setting his glass down and picked the bottle up, inspecting it.

Elain began to laugh. “It's that eighty dollar bottle of wine we had Rhys buy for our wedding night.”

Azriel shook his head, chuckling. “That’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever tasted.”

She smiled. “We were eighteen, we only ever drank Fireball and vodka. How were we supposed to know Sauvignon Blanc was one of the driest wines you can buy?”

He chuckled and shook his head. “Do you have anything else?”

“I’m pretty sure I’ve got a couple beers tucked away in the back of the fridge. And a boxed wine.”

“Sounds perfect,” he said, carrying the horrible bottle of wine back to the kitchen as she followed with the glasses. He watched as she bent down to retrieve two cans of beer from the back of the fridge, along with a cheap boxed wine.

But when she turned around and caught his gaze, his eyes were soft. He whispered, his voice rough, “Come here.”

She set the contents down on the counter, but then Azriel was lifting her up by her waist and setting her on the counter, too. She grinned as her arms wrapped around his neck, her legs around his waist.

Words ceased as his lips found hers again and the alcohol was forgotten. She knew they’d most likely be a chapped mess in the morning, but Elain couldn’t bring herself to care. Where their kisses earlier in the day had been frantic, hungry, needy, these were lazy and appreciative. She knew that tonight he’d be tortuously slow, teasing her in every way he could. He had four years to make up for.

The thought had her dying for some friction, to feel anything between her legs. She tried to close her legs, to rub her thighs together, but with her he stood, she just squeezed his hips. She was unable to stop the quietest whimper from leaving her and Azriel pulled back to look at her. He breathed, “So needy.”

And she was. Her dress was halfway up her thigh on one side and exposing her green panties on the other. The straps had fallen to the side and her chest was heaving.

“Are you going to make me wait?” she asked, in a sensual whisper.

Azriel sucked in his bottom lip before a slow grin spread across his lips. “I’m going to take my time showing you just how much I love you.”

She kissed him, slowly, as he carried her down the hall. “And how much is that?”

His lips were still brushing along hers as he said, “More than I thought humanly possible.”

Her legs around his waist tightened, a gentle hand tangling into his hair as she kissed him, yet again. In that moment, she believed that their bodies could never be close enough. They were pressed up against each other, but she still longed to be closer. She would always want to be as close to him as possible, and then some.

Azriel’s tongue swept between her lips as he stepped onto the first stair, then the next, his heavy footsteps creaking up the wooden staircase. His grip around Elain remained steady, strong, his lips falling tenderly against hers, sweet, slow, continuous. When he reached the second-floor landing, he had her pressed up against the floral wallpaper, the same wallpaper that had always been there, and he was taking her face into his hands, holding up her body with his hips as he nibbled on her lip.

She let him kiss her for a moment, but there’d been one thing and one thing only on her mind since the front door shut behind them. Unwrapping her legs from around his waist, Elain put one wobbly foot down and then the other. Azriel pulled away, looking down at her with an amused, but confused expression. She only smiled up at him and then leaned up to press a kiss to his waiting lips.

Elain’s kisses began a path down his chin, along his jawline and then to the collared hem of his shirt. Her teeth tugged and teased against it and Azriel pulled it over his head, Elain leaning back to appreciate the expanse of tanned, tattooed skin. Her lips trailed down between his pecs, her nails lightly scratching a path behind them.

Azriel took a deep breath in through his nose and let it out of his parted lips, slowly. When Elain was on her knees before him, brushing those feather-like kisses across his lower abdomen, just above the jeans hanging low on his hips, she braced her hands on his thighs. He could feel her nails through his jeans, and the thought of what was about to come had his breathing shallowed. Those delicate fingers trailed up his thighs, far too close to his hardening length for him not to groan, and began undoing his belt, then the button on his jeans, then the zipper. She looked up at him through long, dark lashes as she slowly tugged them down his thighs. Just when he thought she couldn’t tease him anymore, she gently palmed him through his boxer-briefs.

The wait was agonizing. He breathed her name. “Elain.”

She only looked up at him, yet again, innocently with wide, brown eyes. He saw the wicked delight there, how much she enjoyed drawing this out. She’d never been one for waiting, but it seemed that as she matured, so did her patience.

A hiss slipped between his teeth as she took a finger and ran it from the outlined head, along his length, and then back up again.

“Elain.”

Her name was a warning this time, not to tease him too harshly. Her soft giggle was the last thing he heard before his eyes rolled back into his head and he pressed a hand against the wall in front of him.

She hadn’t removed his underwear, but her tongue followed the same path her finger had moments before. He did his best to control himself, to let her set the pace, but gods, that mouth. He’d never forgotten the amazing things she did with that sinful mouth, but memories never compared to the real thing. Azriel was unable to stop himself from pushing her hair back off her face, gathering all of the curling strands at the back of her head. He wanted to see her face, he always wanted to look in her eyes while she pleasured him.

Those brown eyes locked onto his own and she held his gaze as she pressed soft kisses into the patch of hair above the waistband of his boxer-briefs, before gripping them by the elastic, and discarding them around his ankles.

Her cheek brushed along the side of his cock before she took him into her hand. With those teasing, wild, brown eyes still on his, the tip of her tongue found his balls and trailed up along the underside of his length. His breathing hitched as she took the head into her mouth, softly sucking, her tongue swirling around the tip. With one hand braced flat against the wall, the other wadding up her hair, Azriel’s eyelids fluttered shut as he breathed a deep, raspy curse.

There was nothing Elain loved more than having Azriel’s cock in her mouth. She never felt more powerful than in those moments, because while it seemed she was in the position of subservience, she knew with one word, he’d call down the moon for her. Or he’d at least try.

Closing her eyes, she slowly began to bob her head, taking him deeper and deeper with each pass. There wasn’t another sound in the house, just Azriel’s shallow breathing and occasional moans from her that shot right through him.

After a particularly deep dip, when Az had been powerless to stop his hips from moving, he bucked once into her mouth. Elain’s eyes opened and she gagged around his cock, her lips nearly touching the base where the length jutted out from his body.

With a quiet gasp, Elain pulled back and Azriel watched as a thin string of spit still connected her lips to the swollen head. He opened his mouth to speak, but his words were cut off when she began to pump her hand along his length. She dragged her tongue from base to tip and back again before swirling it around his balls. Without a word of warning, she lightly sucked one into her mouth and slowly stroked him

His entire body tensed, his heavy breaths halted, then his low groans filled the silence of the dark, empty house. He wanted to lay her down, spread her legs and show her he could do just as well to her, wanted to thrust himself into her ruthlessly until she was screaming his name, but he was being selfish and would continue to be selfish until she was done. He had been in a lot of compromising positions with Elain throughout the years he’d known her, but what she was doing now... Azriel was on edge, and she’d only just begun.

He didn’t want to fall over that edge, either, because the sensation that was thrumming throughout his body was ethereal.

She sucked harder, just a little bit, as she stroked him faster, gripped him harder. He knew the little moans coming from her mouth were purely for his benefit, and he loved every little sound she blessed him with.

That is, until he watched, with her eyes closed, mouth still worshiping his balls, as her hand slipped under her dress. The second her finger came into contact with her clit, it was like another woman appeared. Her movements became more frantic, her mouth more urgent as she let her tongue glide over his hard cock.

Elain looked up at him, circling the tip with her tongue, before pulling it between her lips and sucking lightly. Azriel groaned and he held both sides of her face, gently brushing his thumbs along her hollowed out cheeks.

She pulled back and breathed, “What do you want, Az?”

“You,” he grunted as her hand took the place of her mouth. “I want you.”

“How do you want me?” She asked, finally pushing those green, lacy panties to the side and giving him a glimpse of her slick heat. Her finger lightly teased the entrance and her eyes fluttered shut. “Do you want me slow, hard, begging?” She ran her tongue along the underside of his length again, chuckling as it jumped in her hand. “Do you want me to stay on my knees, on the bed, from the back?”

Azriel’s eyes were wide and his cock was about to explode from just her words. She’d gained so much confidence in the past four years. When they’d been together before, she could barely talk about the fact that they had sex, much less go into details. Now, she was asking him what he wanted, laying out a veritable menu.

And he was so in shock that he had to fully collect himself before saying, “I want you in every way. And I plan to have you in every way, slow, hard, begging, all through the night.” Azriel took her chin into his hand and lifted so that she met his wild-eyed gaze. “Come morning, you won’t be able to walk straight.”

Her eyes lit up with humor and something else, something that looked like she was challenging him. Prove it.

“But first,” he continued, her chin still gripped between his scarred fingers, “I’ll lay you down, flat on your back, spread those pretty little legs as wide as they can go, and I’ll devour you, slowly, until I’ve memorized the way you taste.”

Elain sucked in a slow, shaky breath, as her own finger moved in urgent circles against her clit.

He held out a hand to her. “Stand up.”

The tone of his voice told Elain not to challenge him, nor did she want to. She laid the same hand she had been touching herself with in his open palm and climbed to her feet. Her dress fell back into place and save for the blush on her cheeks, no one would have known she’d just been giving him the most phenomenal blowjob of his life. He, however, was naked in her upstairs hallway and Azriel found that very unfair.

Lifting her hand to his mouth, he sucked the two fingers she’d used to play with her clit, that she’d just barely dipped inside herself, into his mouth and licked them clean.

When he let go of her hand and let it fall back to her side, her eyes needy and breathing heavy, he dropped his lips to her ear and said, “Just in case you forgot what I can do. Bedroom.”

Her bottom lip was trapped between her teeth as she nodded and took his hand, leading him to the master bedroom. The room used to belong to her father, but it bore no resemblance to the cave the reclusive man used it as. Now it was decorated in soft pastels, florals, with lots of light and space.

Not that Azriel was paying attention to any of that as Elain led him into the room. Reaching the end of the bed, she loosened the top of her dress, shimmying it down her body until it was pooled at her feet. She hooked her thumbs in her panties and he reached out and grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

“No,” he breathed. “Leave them on.” It wasn’t a request. She nodded and he added, nodding to the bed. “Lie down.”

Elain did as she was told, eyes bright. Her back fell against the lavender comforter and for a moment, Azriel did nothing. He stood at the foot of the bed and slowly scanned her body. She laid confidently, her lips parted, hair splayed across the blanket. Her arms were tossed above her head, allowing him full display of her perky, petite breasts. As he watched her, drinking her in, Elain slowly spread her legs, allowing him access to the place she longed for him to touch most. Her thin, green panties were soaked.

In the time it took Elain to blink, the sweet Azriel she’d always loved was gone, and instead a side of Az she’d never seen took his place. And holy gods… She liked this side of him.

He was always careful to make sure he wasn’t too domineering in his everyday life, because at his size, it was next to impossible. But this side of the man she loved, the man who never failed to surprise her… It made her want to do every word he said.

Azriel climbed onto the bed, crawling and kissing his way up her body. He kissed along her thighs, her stomach, and her neck, but he didn’t ever get close to where she needed him. Elain fought off a groan as he chuckled, the husky laugh by her ear, sending goosebumps along her skin.

“Please.”

The word tumbled from her lips and Az froze. He pulled back and looked down at her, whispering, “Say it again.”

She did as she was told, the breathy whisper almost inaudible. “Please, Azriel.”

In a flash, he was between her legs, but he didn’t press his lips to her sex like she’d wanted him to. He ran a soft featherlight touch directly down the center of her soaked panties.

She gasped, and although it was quiet, she swore it echoed throughout the quiet room. He did it again, slower this time, admiring the way her chest heaved, the way it rose and fell, rapidly.

“Please,” she begged, another quiet plea. She whimpered, softly, and Azriel let out a deep, low growl.

“Please what?” he whispered.

“Taste me,” she breathed.

Azriel slowly moved her panties aside before running his thumb gently between her folds. She was so wet that he couldn’t help but bring his thumb to his mouth. Elain watched as he licked her juice off his own skin.

“Your mouth, I need your mouth,” she whispered. “Please.”

Azriel gripped her thighs and pushed her legs down as far as they’d go before he settled himself between her legs and gave her pussy one agonizingly slow stroke with his tongue.

She softly cried out, her hand tangling into his messy hair. Her eyes didn’t leave his as he repeated the motion once, twice, three times, and then flicked his tongue over her swollen clit.

Elain couldn’t have stopped the bucking of her hips if she wanted to, not when she needed his mouth on her. She needed it like she needed air to breathe, to live. But then she felt his arm snake over her lower belly, and he held her down, sucking her clit in between his lips.

Elain’s moan echoed throughout the house and Azriel fisted his cock as he did whatever he could to bring her right to the edge, wanting to give her his full attention, but god damn, she tasted like perfection. And the way she writhed beneath him… Fuck, he loved this woman.

He abandoned his own pleasure and teased a finger at her entrance, gazing up at her through his lashes.

Her lips were parted, her brows furrowed, her eyes nearly shut but watching him. He pushed his finger inside of her as he continued sucking on her clit, then he added another finger, and another. He pumped in and out of her, slowly, as he took her clit between his teeth before gently soothing it with his tongue.

She cursed and Azriel’s bones were set on fire. He loved the way she cursed, loved that it sounded more like a prayer than damnation.

It had Azriel gripping her ass and pressing his mouth against her sex, taking as much of her in as he could. His tongue explored her, desperately. He’d told her he’d devour her, and that he would.

His own personal feast.

Her body began to tense, the tug of her hand in his hair almost painful, her other hand tugging on her own breast. She was pinching and squeezing her nipple as if it were his teeth. Her pulled her clit back between his lips and sucked lightly, tugging just hard enough that he drew another moan from her. With a curl of his fingers, she was there, on the edge, on the precipice of orgasmic bliss. And when he moaned against her sex, the vibration shooting directly to her core, she exploded.

Azriel didn’t care, helped her ride it out, his mouth still sucking her clit as her body tensed around him. Her legs wrapped around his neck, his shoulders, shaking uncontrollably, as Azriel’s chin, his lips, became coated in her juices. Her screams turned into soft moans, then she fell silent as she held her breath. And when her body became slack, and she tried to catch her breath, Azriel removed his mouth from her sex and met her gaze. He licked his lips, slowly.

Elain couldn’t remember how to move, how to speak, how to breathe. The only thing she knew was Azriel’s name and that was enough to tether her to the ground to come down from her orgasm high.

His eyes stayed on her as he kissed and sucked and licked his way up her body. He was not even close to being done pleasuring her, wanting to hear his name echo through every room in the house.

As he reached her breasts, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to each of her nipples. After he’d kissed the second one, he flicked his tongue over the sensitive nub. Elain gasped, her chest heaving, and he closed his mouth over her breast, sucking the nipple between his teeth. He kneaded the other, his fingers massaging and tugging and soothing.

After giving equal treatment to her other breast, he continued his path upward until he pressed a soft kiss to her lips. Elain leaned up and nipped at his bottom lip, tugging lightly and he groaned and let some of his weight fall on her. A soft gasp fell from her lips and her eyes gazed up at him as the head of his cock pressed against her entrance.

Azriel brushed back her hair, his breathing shallow as his hands skimmed down her body before he pushed himself up on his knees. Elain’s eyes followed him as he did so. Neither of them said a word before Azriel gripped her hips and flipped her over before grabbing her ass and pulling her back into him. His cock was hard, brushing between her folds as Azriel hovered over her back. He took her breasts into his hands as he whispered into her ear, “What now?”

She didn’t hesitate. “Fuck me.”

Before she could take a breath, he was filling her, so agonizingly slow, that she tried to force herself back. He held her hips tightly, not giving her any room to wiggle around at all. When he was completely inside of her, seated to the hilt, Elain’s legs were shaking and she thought she might split open from just how full she felt. One of his long fingers found her clit and Elain whimpered as he pressed against the sensitive nub. Azriel leaned over her back one more time and breathed into her ear, “Fuck me, what?”

A little whine tumbled from her lips before she said, “Fuck me, daddy.”

Azriel’s body stilled. She’d breathed the words so softly that he wasn’t sure he’d heard her correctly. He’d expected a please, but daddy…

A low, primal noise came out of him before he could stop himself, as that single request fueled his every move. He pulled himself out of her, nearly all the way, before thrusting himself back into her, relentlessly. She cried out as he found a quick, hard pace. He didn’t hold back, couldn’t hold back. She made him wild, made him forget who he was, made him forget the world around him. All he knew in that moment was that Elain was there, raw, real, confident, wanting him.

One of her hands was braced against the headboard, pressing herself back, trying to take as much of him as she physically could. The sounds of her moans spurred him on and when she buried her face in the pillow, he groaned. Her ass lifted and the view was fucking phenomenal. Without warning, he removed one of his hands from her hip and brought it back down with a crack!

He didn’t think it was possible, but Elain tightened around him further when she cried out as his hand made contact. The whimpering moans had his hand gently rubbing over the curve of her ass, soothing the sting. “Did you like that, baby?” He grunted, not letting up on the relentless pace he’d set. She nodded, soft moans falling from her lips, face still buried in the pillow. He caressed the same spot again, squeezing softly and breathed, “Do you want another?”

She turned her head to the side and nodded frantically, whispering, “Yes, yes, yes…”

He paused his hips, stopping with just the tip still inside of her. She whined in protest and he said “Yes, what?”

Glancing down, he could see her wetness running down the back of her thighs. He would never have expected that this is what his sweet Elain would want. But he had also never seen her so wet, so completely out of her mind with lust. He loved it and would do anything she asked to keep her like that.

He repeated himself when she hadn’t answered, gripping her ass with both hands. “Yes, what, baby?”

Elain looked back at him over her shoulder, locking his eyes onto hers, and said, “Yes, please, daddy.”

Azriel nearly came at the sight of her on all fours, looking into his eyes, saying such things. His hand made contact with her ass, her pale skin starting to turn pink, his cock pounding into her over and over and over again.

He closed his eyes, gripping the headboard in front of them, fully aware that he couldn’t hang on much longer. His groans grew louder as her sounds of pleasure filled the bedroom.

Her voice grew higher and higher and he could tell she was only a few more thrusts from release of her own. He picked up his pace, going as deep as he could, growling, “Are you close, my love?” She nodded as he continued his relentless assault. “Do you want to cum? Say it, baby.”

She was facedown in the pillow again by that point, and the muffled moan that left her as his hand came down against her ass one last time had the timing of his hips becoming sloppy erratic.

“Can I cum, please? I need to cum.” The words were filthy coming from pretty, pink lips, and Azriel wrapped an arm around her waist as he fucked her with everything he had left.

“The cum for me, baby,” he whispered, pressing kisses into the back of her neck, damp with sweat.

She did just that. He could feel her release around him, and the sensation had his face falling into her back, against her damp skin. Her body was shuddering, everything shaking, hardly able to keep herself upright. His lips found the back of her neck, his teeth nipping at the tender skin. She moaned his name, and his grip on her tightened.

Azriel came soon after, and he rode it out slowly, his heart nearly about to beat out of his chest. He used to be insecure about the sounds that would come from him when pleasured, but with her he didn’t care. He let them tumble from his lips, freely, openly.

The room fell into silence, all that could be heard was their heavy breaths as they struggled to steady their breathing.

Azriel pulled out, taking note of the mix of their climaxes dripping out of her, one of the most erotic things he’d ever seen, and fell onto the bed beside her. When she kept her head buried in the pillow, he gently brushed the hair back from her forehead. Elain glanced up at him, those warm brown eyes orgasm drunk and satisfied. He didn’t want to disturb the stillness, but quietly asked, “You okay?”

She nodded. Her eyes drifted closed. “More than okay.”

He chuckled and tugged on one of the arms she had tucked under the pillows. She crawled over to him, nestling into his neck and he gently skimmed his fingers up and down her back, the light touch raising goosebumps along her skin.

“Mmm,” was all she said as she pressed a kiss to his throat.

He craned his neck trying to look down at her. “Good mmm or bad mmm?”

“Good,” she purred, a hand dragging down his chest and abdomen and she gripped his already softening cock. He grunted and she said, “Very, very good.”

“Good,” he mumbled, kissing her lips and rolling over so he was on top of her. His arms framed her face, caging her in so all she saw was his own. “So,” he said carefully, pressing a kiss to her nose. “Daddy, huh?”

She laughed breathily as she narrowed her eyes. “Thought I’d try it out.”

“And?” he asked, quietly, carefully brushing the stray wisps of hair off of her face.

“If that’s the reaction I get, I’d say it’s a keeper,” she whispered, her grin widening.

Azriel laughed, his smile wide as he kissed her lips, softly, slowly. “I love you, so much.”

Her fingertips began rubbing his lower back in small, gentle circles. “I love you, too.”

That wasn’t that last time Azriel made love to Elain Archeron that night, nor was it the last orgasm he gave her by far. But when they were finally spent, both sweaty and exhausted, but unwilling to let the other move even an inch, they fell asleep in each other’s arms, ready to face whatever tomorrow would bring to them.

#elriel lost time #lost time #shara collab #snacmc #tacmc snelbz collab #acotar #acomaf #acowar #elriel #acofas #acosf

[snelbz]

lovely {8}

a @tacmc​ x @snelbz​ collaboration

Find previous chapters here: Lovely Masterlist.

Feyre couldn’t do anything but stare across the room. The pure elation at seeing her art, a piece that she’d poured her heart into, hanging in a museum, was snuffed out as she found Tamlin and Ianthe across the room.

“Stay here,” she breathed, barely noticing as a petite dark-haired woman came up beside Rhys. She handed him her wine and was across the room before she processed what she was doing.

Her new friend’s eyes went wide as she saw her walking towards them, but Feyre ignored her, gripping Tamlin by the elbow. “Tam, can I talk to you for a minute?”

A look of sheer surprise crossed Tamlin’s face as he turned and found Feyre standing there. Any notion she may have had that this was planned and she released a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. He blinked and said, “Sure,” before turning to Ianthe and saying, “I’ll be right back.”

When she glanced over at her, the friendliness in her eyes had been replaced with ice.

They stepped off to a corner and before he could say anything, she said, “She’s not a good person, Tam.”

He blinked, grass green eyes wholly confused and asked, “Ianthe? How do you even know her?”

“I feel like I should be asking you the same thing.” She crossed her arms over her chest and glanced across the room, thankful to see Ianthe hadn’t noticed Rhysand. Yet.

Tamlin hesitated, then began rubbing his temples. “Feyre, not that it’s not a joy to see you, but last time we were near each other it didn’t turn out great, so if you’re stalking me-.”

Feyre barked a laugh. “Seriously? You think way too highly of yourself, asshole. Do I need to remind you that you were the one that fainted on my porch not long ago?” 

He grimaced as he looked away. 

“I’m...here with a friend,” Feyre said, at last. 

Tamlin’s lips thinned. “Rhys, then?”

“You need to get rid of Ianthe,” she said, arms crossed, ignoring his question altogether. 

To her surprise, Tamlin laughed. “Let me get this straight. You break up my date, while you’re on a date, to tell me that I should get rid of my date...even though you have no feelings for me, whatsoever?”

Feyre blinked. “Yeah, she’s aw-.”

“What gives you the fucking right?” he snapped, his eyes narrowing. 

“She has a baby,” Feyre hissed. “And it’s….not a good situation. It’s complicated.” Oh, and by the way, the father is my sister’s boyfriend, and my boyfriend’s best friend. How’s that for complicated?

Tamlin just shrugged. “Yeah, I know. I hear the baby daddy is a little asshole.” 

“That’s not true.” Her voice was cold.

He snorted. “Is it Rhys? Wouldn’t surprise me if he couldn’t keep it in his pants.”

“Is there a problem over here?”

Her voice wasn’t nearly as sweet as it had been in the bathroom earlier. Now it was sickly and reminded Feyre of artificial sweetener.

“No, Feyre was just getting ready to leave,” Tamlin said, not taking his eyes off of her.

“You’re making a mistake, Tam,” she breathed.

Ianthe asked, “Wait, this is Feyre?”

The tone made Feyre pause and she turned to her. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

The smile on her face was cruel as she said, “I shouldn’t be surprised. The best gold-digging whores are always the prettiest.”

Feyre wouldn’t have been able to stop the words if she tried. “You’d know, wouldn’t you?”

One day, when Feyre needed to paint a model of rage, she’d use memory of Ianthe’s face.

“Everything okay, Feyre, darling?” Rhysand’s hand settled low on her back, fingers wrapping around her hip, and she knew that he knew Tamlin was watching.

This has become a dangerous game, and while Feyre didn’t want to make a scene, she couldn’t remember a point in her life where she’d been so angry.

Ianthe’s eyes dragged to Rhys and she said, “Oh, look who it is.”

Rhysand ignored her completely. “Tamlin.” 

Tamlin nodded to Rhysand, although he wasn’t happy about it.

Rhysand, though, wasn’t phased. His smile was radiant when he said, “Feyre and I have a reservation, we really should be going. Great seeing you. I-.”

“This is your boyfriend?” Ianthe asked, looking from Rhysand to Feyre. “You went from Tam to this piece of trash?”

Feyre’s body stiffened, and Rhysand’s hand around her waist tightened. His voice was still light when he said, “Wasn’t Az supposed to drop Ash off to you tonight? Or, did he just drop him off to your parents, since they’re basically the ones raising your kid.” 

The only thing that brought Feyre back down to earth was the look of pure hatred in Ianthe’s eyes as she took a step closer to Rhysand. Even Tamlin reached out a hand to stop her. 

“Let’s go, Rhys,” Feyre whispered, her words still hard, but not wanting to start a full on fist fight in the middle of an art gallery.

Without another word, they turned and left, Rhys practically dragging Feyre. He was pulling out his phone, dialing before they’d reached the city streets.

“Who are you calling?” She asked, both of them pausing to breathe as they looked out over the Sidra.

“Azriel.” He put the phone to his ear. “This changes everything.”

——��——

Cassian had offered Nesta a drink, but when he opened the cupboard, he found absolutely nothing. Naturally, that meant that a run to the liquor store was a necessity. There was one a block away from his apartment, so he and Nesta were walking, hand in hand, beneath the starlight. She was still wearing that oversized sweatshirt, her hair in a messy-bun on the top of her head, and Cassian was absolutely breathless. 

“You’re walking slow,” she said, quiet laughter lacing her tone. She tugged on his hand, but he didn’t move any faster.

“I’m taking my time,” he said, grinning. “Slower I walk, the more time I get to spend with you.” 

Nesta snorted. “True, but the faster we get to the store and back to your apartment, the quicker I get tipsy and loose.” 

Cassian arched a brow. “Is that you telling me I’m getting lucky tonight?”

She rolled her eyes. “You act like you don’t get lucky every night.”

With a smirk, Cassian decided she was right.

The errand didn’t take long after that, and when they got back to the apartment, Nesta flopped next to Cassian on the couch and said, “I want to take a bath.”

Cassian made a face, which had nothing to do with the whiskey he raised to his lips, and said, “A bath? You want to sit in your own dirt water?”

She raised a brow and said, “I want to get naked, relax and drink wine.” There was emphasis on the naked part.

He bit his lip and thought about his dingy little bathroom. “My bathtub isn’t very big.”

Her lips tilted up slightly at the corners and she said, “Oh, are you taking one with me?”

He sat his whiskey on the table and dragged her on top of him. “You don’t just get to tell me you’re going to get wet and naked and not expect me to want to join.”

She giggled and kissed him before she sighed, “You’re right though. Your bathtub can’t fit us both.” He was about to suggest a shower together when she said, “The hot tub at your pool can.”

He snorted. “Can’t get naked at the pool though.”

“Says who?” She cooed, and stood. Walking back toward his bedroom. When he followed a moment later, he found her tying her bikini strap behind her neck. 

He stopped in his doorway and lifted a brow. “You weren’t kidding.”

She quickly spun around, adjusting her top over her boobs. “I don’t kid about relaxing in warm water with wine.”

Cassian chuckled. “You’re not supposed to bring wine down there.”

“Just like you’re not supposed to get naked?” She asked, with an eyebrow raised.

“You’re feeling daring tonight,” he laughed.

She rolled her eyes. “Get in your swimsuit.”

When he emerged from his room in his trunks, Nesta was finishing pouring an entire bottle of wine into a large water bottle he kept for the gym. He laughed quietly and she handed him a cup of his own. He raised an eyebrow and she said, “It’s straight whiskey.”

With a chuckle, he said, “Of course it is.”

He grabbed a couple of towels and they walked down to the pool. At half past eight, in early autumn, Cassian was surprised that it was empty. While he picked a chair up and pulled it over to the hot tub, Nesta was already stepping into the bubbling water, a sigh of contentment leaving her as she settled in.

He joined her, sipping from his travel mug full of whiskey, and draping an arm around her. After about ten minutes, he figured she’d forgotten about her wet and naked claim when she looked around and lifted her hips from the built in bench. She dropped her soaked bottoms along the edge of the water.

Cassian raised an eyebrow and waited as she reached behind her back and untied the strap. The water was just high enough that when she dropped the wet fabric on the concrete, he still couldn’t see anything.

She looked at him and breathed, “Well?”

He blinked, then slowly began to shake his head. “You know, when I met you, I thought you were an uptight piece of work. Now? You’re a wild woman.” He reached into the water, shimmied out of his trunks, and pointedly plopped them down next to the scraps of her bikini.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” she crooned, inching closer to him.

He grinned. “I never said that. I’m starting to come to the conclusion that you were a wild woman all along, and now I just get to see your true colors.”

With a quiet laugh, she climbed onto his lap and straddled him. “Our first night together was a drunken fiasco.” 

“Oh, I remember it well,” he said, eyes bright, as her arms wrapped around his neck. “But you also bitched at me for ruining your shoes the first time I met you, so my assumptions were valid.”

She scoffed. “They were a one-hundred-and-sixty dollar pair of boots.”

“There’s your problem,” he murmured, leaning up and brushing his lips against hers. “You spent too much on your shoes.”

She snorted but let him pull her into the kiss, lost herself in the way his hands gripped her hips, in the way he tasted like whiskey and how kissing him made her light-headed.

The pool gate creaked and then crashed closed and both Cassian and Nesta jumped slightly, looking towards the sound.

Another couple entered the pool, though they went to the pool, thankfully, rather than the hot tub.

Nesta breathed, “Shit,” and took a large drink of her wine. She reached for her suit, but Cassian grabbed her hand, pulling it back under the water. “What are you doing?”

He smirked and said, “I thought you liked baking a wild woman.”

Her eyes went wide and she warned, “Cass…”

He gripped her hips and ground her into him. The whimper that left her had him grinning.

“Stop it,” she whispered, although her eyes were humored. 

The couple was nearing-elderly. If they even knew what was going on, they probably found it romantic, or appalling - either way it could have been worse, but Nesta was still pushing against his chest. 

“You got yourself into this mess,” Cassian mumbled. “Now I’m tipsy and too far gone.” 

“You’re impossible,” she warned, her fingers running through his hair. 

He shook his head, grinning. “Don’t worry. I’ll wait until they’re gone to stick it in you.”

“Stick it in me?” she laughed. “How romantic.”

“Oh, I’m very romantic.” His hands wandered down to her ass and grabbed her, possessively, which made her laugh out loud. 

“You know, I’ve had fantasies like this,” she said, feeling that wine coursing through her body, making her lighter, more daring.

“Is that so?” he asked, his hands moving up her sides. 

“Yes,” she whispered, cocking her head to the side.

“And what does this fantasy of yours look like?” he asked, quietly.

“Sort of like,” she sat up slightly, gripping him in her hand and sliding down his length. His eyes fluttered shut and she breathed. “You fucking me and me trying my hardest not to get us caught.”

“Nes, they’re, like, a hundred,” he grunted, explaining why they shouldn’t, but gripping her hips and rocking her back and forth regardless.

She didn’t say much else as he head fell into the crook of his neck and her lips found his pulse point. His eyes fell shut and he gripped her ass, urging her to move quicker.

As long as she rocked and didn’t bounce, they should be fine. He was listening to the couple, not really hearing them, but making sure they weren’t suspicious. They should be fine, Nesta was getting close, he could tell by the way she was whimpering quietly and squeezing his cock. But as long as she didn’t bounce, they’d be-.

She reached back and he felt her cup his balls and he couldn’t stop the thrust he slammed up into her or the hiss that left him.

Nesta cried out and he immediately wrapped an arm around her waist, holding her to him. He didn’t look over to the couple, he knew they’d be staring, so instead, he buried his face in her shoulder. He was hoping to make them so uncomfortable that they’d leave, and just a minute, later he heard the gate opening again.

As one they turned, finding the pool empty again and Cassian pinned Nesta’s hands to her sides before she could do anything. He slowly pulled out and pushed back into her, breathing “Let’s discuss the fantasies before we act on them next time, yeah?”

A little smirk appeared on her lips. “But what fun would that be?” 

His laughter was quiet as he thrust himself up into her. Nesta’s eyes fluttered shut, her lips parting. 

“At least then I’d know what I’m getting myself into,” he muttered.

“Is that a complaint?” She asked, breathlessly.

“Absolutely not,” he whispered. “You’ll never hear a complaint from me.”

The bouncing began, Nesta holding onto his shoulders, him holding onto her ass. Cassian’s head fell back against the concrete, his eyes falling shut.

It didn’t take long for the whimpers she’d been fighting earlier to become full-on moans and groans now and he was so thankful the couple had left as he lifted Nesta and pulled her nipple between his teeth.

She hissed through her teeth. “You can’t properly fuck me out here,” she whined.

“Should have thought of that before you jumped on my cock,” he said, face between her breasts.

“Your apartment is twenty yards away,” she groaned. “Pull your cock out of me, wrap it in a towel, run upstairs and then fuck me against your kitchen counter.” She tried to stand, but his hands held her down.

He smirked. “Is that another fantasy?”

“Not getting arrested for indecent exposure when when they come back is,” she said, pushing against his shoulders.

“You’re talking like we’re teachers or something,” Cassian grinned, then it faltered, as he was second guessing himself. “Fine. But when we get to my apartment, all rules are out the window.”

Nesta’s grin was devious when she whispered, “Fine.”

She settled down on him all the same, nestling in as low as she could go. Her eyes were wide, not batting for a second as she eyed Cassian. “Take me upstairs, then.”

“Okay,” Cassian breathed, his hands still resting on her hips as she rocked, back and forth. 

A moment passed before Nesta whispered. “We’re alone.”

“Yeah,” Cassian breathed. “We are.”

Nesta groaned and finally stood, quickly grabbing one of the towels and wrapping it around herself, as well as her wine and hurried towards his apartment. He chuckled and did the same, remembering to grab their swimsuits, and when he entered the apartment, indeed finding Nesta lying back on his counter with her legs spread, he locked the door and continued fulfilling any and every of Nesta’s fantasies she would share with him.

~~~~~

Azriel had already closed up his shop for the day. The front door was locked, the open sign had been turned around, and it was only him and Elain, who was sitting in the chair at his station, watching as he finished prepping.

“You look nervous,” he said, glancing up at her through his dark lashes as he put on his black, latex gloves. 

She cleared her throat. “I’m...not.”

“You’re a horrible liar,” he chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. He asked her to unlock her tablet and one last time, they looked at the tattoo she’d fallen in love with all those weeks ago. “So we want the flowers and the pearls, but no watch? Right?”

Elain looked down at the stencil on her shoulder. She ran her finger along the curve of her arm, of the fall down to the upper arm. “Yeah, but shouldn’t it come down lower?”

He smirked. “What did I say about biting off more than you can chew?”

She blushed as she remembered his words in bed that morning. “I’m not,” she murmured. “I just know I want it on my shoulder and my arm.”

He pressed a kiss to her exposed shoulder, beneath where the stencil ended, and said, “Next session, baby.”

She sighed and nodded, sitting back and staring at her shop across the street. Elain heard a couple of loud buzzes and then Azriel’s gloved hand settled on her shoulder. She glanced up at him and tried her hardest to look brave.

When he snorted and asked, “Ready?” She knew she’d failed but she nodded none then less.

She gasped when the needle touched her skin, and her cringing was so evident that Azriel asked You okay? every thirty seconds. After about half an hour or so, though, her shoulder was numb, and she was finally able to relax.

She watched him as he worked. She could tell he took pride in what he did, and he was amazing at it. His brows were furrowed, the lines of his face hard as he concentrated. Every now and then he would look up at her, just to give her a little smile, before getting back to work. 

“Will your sisters be surprised?” He asked.

“Probably,” she confessed. “I’ve never exactly been the type to do such a thing. I was talking to Lucien on the way here and he wouldn’t stop asking me if I was serious.”

Azriel chuckled and they fell into a comfortable silence, Azriel’s music playing on his phone behind them. Every now and then, one of them would ask a question and after a couple hours, Azriel was handing her a mirror. “What do you think?”

Elain pulled the strap of her camisole out of the way, though it had been pushed to the side the whole time. “Oh, that’s weird,” she breathed.

Azriel chuckled and asked, “Good weird or bad weird?”

She tilted her head to the side and said, “I like it. How does it look?”

Shaking his head, he began to clean up and said, “I’m a bit partial, but I think it’s one of the best pieces I’ve ever done.” He snapped a few pictures before carefully wrapping it.

“I’ve got a tattoo,” Elain breathed, standing and walking towards the full length mirror hung on the wall.

“You do,” he smiled, coming up behind her and wrapping an arm around her waist. He pressed a kiss to her neck, on the side that wasn’t throbbing currently. “You look pretty damn sexy if you ask me.”

“Is that so?” She asked, smiling faintly at their reflection. 

He nodded, his kisses trailing down her shoulder. “It suits you.”

She turned to him, her hands sneaking behind his neck. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” he whispered, and kissed her, softly. “Let me shut everything down and we can grab a bite to eat?”

“Can it wait five more minutes?” She asked, pressing her body up into his.

His grin was radiant as he picked her up, her legs wrapping around his waist, and took her to his desk in the back where he plopped down in his spinning chair and kissed her, slowly, sweetly.

He took a hell of a lot longer than five minutes.

_____

As Rhys and Feyre we’re pulling up in front Elain’s house, Nesta was climbing out of Cassian’s truck. He walked around to the passenger side and waited with her, talking quietly until the other two reached them.

“I know that we’re the least likely daughters he’d explain things to,” Nesta mused, “but do you have any idea why we’re having a good, old fashioned, family dinner tonight?” She quoted the text Isaac had sent to his daughters, asking them to meet him at Elain’s and to bring their significant others, if they had one.

“I have no idea,” Feyre mumbled, as they began to walk towards the door. “But Elain texted me twenty minutes ago. Az had to bring Asher, Ianthe dropped him on her last minute.”

“Dad’ll have a field day with that,” Nesta muttered, as she walked up the porch with Cassian, the others just behind them. She didn’t bother knocking as she pushed open the door, falling into the living room, where Azriel was lying on the floor, talking to a babbling Asher. He looked up as they all entered and slipped off their shoes. 

“Hey. Elain’s in the kitche-.”

“It’s about time!” Isaac swept into the room, cutting off Azriel’s greeting. He went to Nesta and gave her a hug, then Feyre, both of whom stood there half frozen. They definitely noticed that Isaac completely ignored Azriel, and when he caught sight of Cassian, Isaac’s head cocked to the side. 

“You work with my daughter,” he said, plainly.

“I do,” Cassian said, holding out his hand. “I’m Cassian.” 

Isaac slowly looked down at Cassian’s hand and blinked, dismissing it completely. “And you must be Rice?”

Feyre’s eyes slipped shut and she sighed as he said, “Rhysand, actually, but most people call me Rhys.”

Nesta was already walking away from the door, heading straight for the kitchen, though for Elain or the wine he knew was chilling in the fridge, Cassian wasn’t sure. He sidestepped Rhys, clapping a hand on his shoulder as passed and headed for the living room.

Asher turned at the incoming steps and his face lit up as he beheld Cassian. “There’s my favorite little dude,” he crooned, picking him up and holding him against his chest. Asher continued to babble as he patted his chubby hand against Cassian’s face. He turned and reached toward Azriel, before turning back to Cassian, babbling some more. Cass raised an eyebrow and said, “Pretty sure he almost just said dada.”

Azriel nodded and stood, bending over to brush the fuzz and lint from his black jeans. “Yeah, we’ve been teetering right on the edge for about a week.” He stood and walked over to where Cass held Asher and said,“It’s okay though, because you know what he won’t say?” He looked at Asher, and in baby talk, said, “Ash, say dada.” The baby babbled excitedly, but couldn’t quite put the two sounds together. Azriel smirked and said, in the same playful tone, “Can you say mama?” Asher stared up with his big, hazel eyes and blinked. Cassian snorted as Az took his son and tried once more, “Say mama, bud.”

Cassian chuckled and said, “You get way too much joy out of that.”

“Nah,” Azriel shrugged. “I get just enough.”

“What is that?!”

Cassian’s head turned to the kitchen, to Nesta’s elevated voice. Azriel picked up the beer bottle sitting on the side table and said, “Well, I guess Nesta’s seen Elain’s tattoo now,” and put it to his lips.

Cassian lifted a brow as Feyre hurried into the kitchen, Rhysand joining them in the living room. “Elain got a tattoo?”

Rhysand halted. “Seriously?”

Azriel grinned as Asher grabbed onto his nosering. “Ow.” After gently removing his infant’s fingers from his jewelry, he said, “Yeah, gave it to her last night.” 

A throat was cleared and all three men turned around, where Isaac stood, watching them. “You did that to my daughter?”

Azriel hesitated. “Yes. I’m a tattoo artist.” 

There was a few seconds of silence as Isaac looked at Azriel’s arms, his hands, his neck, all covered in ink, and then he said, “Of course, you are.” 

Rhysand’s eyes met Cassian’s, then to their own skin, which bore nearly identical markings to Azriel’s. And rightfully so, seeing as his own scarred hands had done all of the work on Cassian and Rhys and most of his own.

Azriel was going to let it go, was going to keep the peace for Elain’s sake, just like he’d done when Rhys had called him on the way home last night. But he couldn’t do that.

Clearing his throat, Rhysand asked, “I’m sorry, but what exactly is that supposed to mean?”

Azriel’s voice was quiet, but the hard warning was there. “Rhys.” Drop it.

Isaac scoffed, gesturing to him. “I don’t think it needs explaining.”

“I think it definitely does,” he said.

Azriel tried once more. “Rhys.” Let. It. Go.

The older man looked around the room at the three of them, made a decision and said, “The tattoos, the piercings, he’s a single father, and a tattoo artist? Because that’s what a man dreams of for his daughter one day.”

“Listen, you can dislike the way he looks without being a dick,” Cassian began carefully.

Isaac turned to him, and he knew immediately where Nesta’s short fuse had come from. “Oh, this is coming from the one who apparently has sex with my daughter at her - and your - place is employment?”

Cassian really wanted to make a joke about listing all the places he’d had sex with Isaac’s daughter, but decided the list was too long. Instead, he smirked and said, “If that’s the reason you hate me, that’s fine. But calling me out like that isn’t going to rile me up. Good try.”

Isaac opened his mouth to say something, but then Elain was calling from the kitchen, “Food’s ready! Everyone in the dining room!” 

The men all stared at each other for another moment, the silence stretching on, but then Asher started fussing. 

“Excuse me,” Azriel muttered, before hurrying into the kitchen to make Asher a bottle while the others went into the dining room, where the three sisters were piling dishes filled with food on top of the gray tablecloth. 

The tension must have been clear, because all of their smiles faded. 

“What’s wrong?” Elain asked. “Where’s Az?” 

“Kitchen,” Rhysand mumbled, looking down at his empty plate as he sat. “Asher’s hungry.” 

She nodded, looking at each of them, before backing into the kitchen.

She found him stirring up the contents of the baby food as Asher sat in his chair, holding his bottle, as he drank from it. He was gazing at Elain as she walked closer.

“Hey,” she breathed, running her fingers first through Azriel’s dark shaggy hair and then Asher’s. “What’s wrong?”

Azriel shook his head, taking the bottle from Asher’s chubby hands and holding the spoon in front of his mouth. He took a tentative bite and shook his head, reaching for the bottle that was sitting off to the side. “Sorry, Ash, I know you hate them, but you gotta eat them.”“Here, let me,” she said, sitting next to him and smiling. She held her hand out for the spoon.Az glanced from her waiting hand to her face and then back to Asher. “It’s fine, baby. Go eat with your family.”Elain could still see the look on his face, she could still tell something was wrong. She tried to make a joke. “Az, we both know I’m better at feeding your kid than you are.”He scoffed. “Great, he’ll think I’m a shitty, deadbeat dad, too. Add that to the list.”With a blink, Elain asked, “List? What are you talking about?”Azriel sighed and handed Elain the spoon. “Your dad is a dick,” he said, quietly, while Elain miraculously got Asher to eat his mashed peas.She sighed, refusing to meet Azriel’s gaze. “I knew it. He said something to you, didn’t he?” Azriel didn’t answer, and Asher was oblivious to the tension as he blew a raspberry, spewing peas down his chin. Elain looked over at him.“He talks without thinking,” Elain said. “And he’s judgmental. It won’t be a long night, okay? But, he seemed excited about this dinner-.”“He hates me,” Azriel interrupted. “He hates all of us. You should’ve seen the look of utter disgust when he found out I’m a tattoo artist. Then, of course, Rhys had to say something, and then Cassian got in trouble for fucking Nesta at work-.”“What?” Elain asked, trying to follow what he was saying as she wiped the food off of Asher’s chin. Just as Azriel was about to go on, Nesta peeked her head around the corner. “You two coming? It’s awkward, and we’d really love to shove our mouth’s with food so we have something to do aside from sit in silence.” 

Elain nodded. “We’re coming.” She turned back to Azriel as Nesta disappeared. “Az-.”

“It’s fine,” he sighed, taking Asher out of his seat and holding him close to his chest with one arm, the other picking up the chair. “Carry his food for me, please?”

She wanted to talk it out, to ease his worry, lift his mood, but she only nodded.

Elain followed behind him, trying to listen into the conversation coming from the dining room. Only to realize there was, indeed, nothing but silence.

Azriel saw that the only seats open were to Isaac’s immediate right, which meant Asher would have to sit between the two of them. Or so he thought.

Elain stepped around him and took his son, re-situating the chairs so Asher’s high chair could fit snugly between their own chairs, as long as Elain sat next to her father.

Cassian cleared his throat. “El, that tattoo looks badass.”

Nesta and Azriel both closed their eyes and sighed, knowing Cassian always had to poke when he knew he shouldn’t. Rhys was smirking.

Elain’s cheeks turned the softest shade of pink. “Thanks.”

“I, personally, think you’re too pretty for tattoos,” Isaac said, plopping potatoes onto his plate. 

“Pretty girls don’t usually get tattoos?” Cassian asked, taking a bite of chicken. 

“No,” Isaac answered, simply. 

“Can we just,” Nesta began, angrily cutting up her chicken, “eat in silence?”

“Family dinners aren’t meant to be silent,” Isaac said, shaking his head. “Besides, your friend there has a big mouth. I doubt he knows how  to be silent..”

Cassian only grinned. 

“That’s true,” Nesta muttered. 

“So,” Feyre began. “How long are you in town for, dad?”

“Not long,” he said. “A month or two, maybe. It all depends.”

Rhys muttered something about leaving as soon as possible under his breath and Feyre stepped on his foot under the table.

Asher began to fuss and before Azriel could put his fork down to do anything, Elain was handing him his bottle. “Here, buddy. You can handle that while we eat, right?” He grinned up at her, chewing on the nipple of the bottle as he cooed.

Azriel couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he watched her lovingly gaze at his son.

“So, Azriel,” Isaac began. Az glanced up at him, honestly surprised he knew his name. “I can only assume his mother isn’t in the picture.”

Azriel took a swig of his beer and said, “No, sir, she isn’t.”

“Might I ask why?” He asked.

The table grew uncomfortably quiet, but Azriel just nodded, slowly. “We just...didn’t fit together.”

Isaac watched Azriel for a moment as the rest of the table picked at their food. “How long were you with his mother?”

Azriel cleared his throat. “Um, not...long.”

“Ah,” Isaac began, stabbing a piece of chicken with his fork. “So, you knocked up some random, poor girl then?”

“Dad,” Elain snapped.

“No, it’s fine,” Azriel said, quietly, although his hands were clenched into fists on his lap. “Yes, I made a mistake, and she got pregnant. I don’t regret it or find shame in it, though. Asher’s the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

“Hmmm.” Isaac’s eyes narrowed. “I assume you don’t get to spend a lot of time with him.”

It wasn’t necessarily his words, but the way he had said them.

Elain’s face was in her hands.

Azriel’s words were hard as he said, “No, sir, I don’t. But I take advantage of every spare moment I get with him.”

Isaac opened his mouth to say something else, but Feyre said, “That’s enough, Dad.” He turned to look at his youngest daughter. “We came here to all have a nice family meal, but all you’ve done is...harass our boyfriends and make them feel extremely unwelcome.”

The smug look on Rhysand’s face, his arm draped around Feyre’s shoulders. It infuriated him.

Isaac slowly set down his fork. “I’m just making sure my daughters are well taken care of.”

“Oh, they are,” Cassian said, unable to stop the words as they flowed out of his mouth, unable to stop the sensual tone that went along with it.

Nesta jabbed him in the ribs. “You’re no help.” 

“We’re grown women, dad,” Feyre said, ignoring both comments from across the table. “We can take care of ourselves and make our own decisions.” 

“Is that so?” Isaac said. “Because last time I was here you were dating Tamlin, who was incredibly successful, if I may add, and you two were planning a future together. Now? You’re dating this…” He gestured to Rhysand, who only lifted a brow. “Bar-owner covered in tattoos who thinks far too highly of himself. Nesta is with that manwhore, and Elain…” He shook his head, looking over at his middle daughter. “A single dad? Tattoo artist? You’re getting tattoos! You, Elain! Is this really the best you can do? What happened to Graysen, huh? Clean-cut, well-educated, making six figures!”

Azriel’s body tensed as the room fell into silence. For a moment, nobody said a word. Then, with shaking hands and in a tone he’d never heard from her, Elain said, “You cannot come into my house and say-.”

Isaac began to cough, cutting off her words, and then it became uncontrollable, that cough. His hand gripped the edge of the table, the other pulling the napkin off his lap and holding it up to his mouth.

“Dad?” Elain breathed, her eyes going wide as the napkin became splattered with blood.

Seconds passed as Isaac tried to calm himself. Everyone was watching him, waiting, all anger and frustration and sarcasm fading away. 

“Dad?” Elain repeated, quietly. 

Isaac cleared his throat, crumbling the napkin in his hand. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t sure when a good time to tell you all was, but I guess this is it.” He picked up his glass of water and took a sip before continuing, quietly. “I’m sick, girls. And they caught it too late.” 

#lovely #snacmc lovely #snacmc #tacmc snelbz collab #elriel #nessian #feysand

[snelbz]

Lost Time {12}

A/N: Another chapter written with @tacmc.

Enjoy!

Azriel woke up as the early morning sunlight began streaming through the window, and this time, Elain was still sleeping soundly in his arms. He was careful not to move too much, careful not to wake her, but he couldn’t help brushing her hair back from her face and pressing his lips softly to her neck.

She stirred, but her eyes remained shut, her long, dark lashes pressed against her pale skin.

He snaked his arm tighter around her as he trailed those lips further down her neck, her shoulder, her back. His head went beneath the blankets as Elain stirred, yet again, and rolled onto her back. When she opened her eyes and lifted the blanket, she found Azriel, hair a mess, laying over her legs, his arms wrapped around her waist, his chin propped on her abdomen.

“Good morning,” he whispered, pressing his mouth to her skin, just below her belly button.

“If that’s how you’re planning on waking me up every morning, they’ll all be good,” she laughed quietly, brown eyes still tired.

He pressed another kiss to her belly and then to the top of her sex, earning a quiet gasp from Elain, but instead he trailed his lips up to her own, laying over her and kissing her softly. His weight pressed her into the mattress, but Elain had no intentions of going anywhere. “How’d you sleep?”

“Amazing,” she said, a content smile on her face. “Better than I have as far back as I can remember.”

“Me too,” he mumbled, capturing her lips with his again. They stayed like that for a while, losing themselves in each other’s arms, each other’s kisses, each other’s love. It was like the world was frozen outside and it was just the two of them.

And then Azriel’s stomach grumbled.

Elain pulled away and giggled. “Are you hungry?”

“Starving,” he breathed, then arched a brow. “I had a long night, full of exercise.”

“Exercise,” she repeated, and giggled as she ran her hands through his hair. “Why don’t we get ready and go to your mom’s for breakfast?”

He groaned and dropped his forehead against her chest. “I’ve been dying for mom’s pancakes, hell yes.”

She laughed and pressed a kiss to the top of his head. “And we need to go pick up our son,” she said, carefully, gauging his reaction.

He lifted his head and looked up at her, hazel eyes shimmering. “Our son…” he breathed. He swallowed hard and smiled. “I know we need to wait to tell him, and I understand why, but gods... I want him to know.”

“Me too,” she whispered, and easily rolled him over. Azriel fell back against the blankets and she straddled his waist, her hands splayed across his chest. Her delicate fingers trailed across his skin until they were wiping the dampness from under his eyes. “Soon.”

Azriel brought himself up and wrapped his arms around her before kissing her, softly. “I’ll be patient.”

She ran her fingers through his messy hair and pushed it back off of his face and kissed his nose. “I need a shower.”

“Is that an invitation?” He said with a breathy chuckle, trailing his lips down her neck.

She wet her lips, tilting her head to the side and giving him better access. Yet she said, “We can’t,” even as her fingers dug into his shoulders.

“We can,” Azriel whispered, gripping her hips and grinding her up and down against his hard length, always present in the mornings. “What’s stopping us? Hmm?”

A quiet, little moan fell from Elain’s lips and she said, “No, we need to get ready and go.”

He gripped her chin and forced her gaze to meet his. With add eyebrow raised, his voice was a purr as he breathed, “Did you just tell daddy no?”

Elain’s grin widened and she pushed against his chest, but fell into him, nonetheless. She met his lips with her own as Azriel swung them both off the bed. Her legs easily wrapped around his waist as he trailed them into the master bathroom. He never let go of her as he started the shower and stepped inside, beneath the hot water.

With her pressed up against the cool, tiled wall, Azriel made love to her slowly, until she was moaning those sweet nothings, those names that made him wild.

And when they were done, and washed, then hopped out and slowly got ready - there were too many distractions.

It didn’t matter what Azriel was doing, he would always be hopelessly distracted by Elain.

A little over two hours after they woke up, they climbed into Elain’s little car and headed to Miryam’s. Azriel entered without knocking like he always had and he found his mother at the stove, the smell of bacon and eggs and butter surrounding him. Elain just shook her head as she ascended the stairs to wake Donovan. Azriel pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Please tell me you’re making pancakes, too,” he asked, stealing a broken piece of bacon from the top of the pile.

He loved Miryam’s cooking. She was modest about it, but she was undoubtedly the best cook Azriel had ever met. Luckily, he was blessed enough to be her son.

Miryam turned around, completely surprised. “Az? What are you doing here? Not that it’s not a lovely surprise, but I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

“I can’t stop by for breakfast?” He joked, turning around and pouring both himself and Elain a cup of coffee.

“Of course, I guess it’s a good thing I made extra,” she chuckled.

“Extra?” Elain asked, coming around the corner with a sleepy Novan, his thumb in his mouth. It was a habit Elain had tried to break, but there were days where there was nothing she could do to keep it out of his mouth.

The back door opened and Cassian said, “Holy shit, the door didn’t creak,” as he stepped into the kitchen.

“You’re welcome for that,” Azriel said, handing Elain her cup of coffee.

Nesta followed Cassian into the house and froze. “What the fu-.”

Elain interrupted and said, “Little ears.”

“Sorry,” she said, looking at Elain, and then back to Azriel. “Shouldn’t you be in jail?”

Feyre and Rhys were a step behind and Rhysand asked, “Az, what the hell happened the other morning? Where did you go?”

It was chaotic and Azriel’s eyes were wide as he looked from person to person. Everyone was staring at him expectantly. He paused and took a drink of his coffee before saying, “Why don’t we get our breakfast and sit down and then you can all berate me with questions.”

“Don’t say that unless you mean it,” Miryam sang. Azriel just shot her a look, but that look quickly faded as he turned to look at Novan, who was looking up at Azriel, his head resting on Elain’s shoulder.

“Hi, buddy,” he said, quietly.

Novan yawned before replying, “Hi, hi.”

Azriel chuckled before turning to face Nesta, who looked like she wanted to set him on fire with her eyes. Azriel stilled, and cleared his throat before joining the others in line with a plate.

The room was nearly silent as everyone loaded their plates up and Miryam made pancake after pancake. When everyone had sat down and Miryam had placed a smiley face pancake in front of Novan before taking her own seat, Azriel said, “Who’s first?” Miryam, Cass, Nesta and Feyre all began talking at once. Only one person politely raised a finger, indicating he would like to speak. “Rhys, go ahead.”

Rhys asked the same question. “Where did you go when you left the police station? Your truck was still at that bar when I drove past at lunch.”

With a shrug, Azriel said, “I wasn’t kidding when I said I wanted the fresh air. I decided to just walk back to the hotel instead of the bar. They were setting up breakfast when I got in, so I decided to have a cup of coffee, but then I sat there for a while.”

“How long is a while?” Feyre asked, possibly the first thing she’d said to him that didn’t sound angry or pitied.

“An hour and half, give or take. But then I went back up to my room and I found that I had a guest.” Azriel’s eyes flicked to Elain, who blushed and continued cutting up Novan’s pancake. He was happily eating the blueberry smile while she did so.

No one said a word.

All of them were looking between Azriel and Elain - all but Cassian, who was still stuffing his face.

“Wait a minute,” Nesta said, at last. Elain wouldnt meet her gaze. After she finished cutting up Novan’s pancake, she glanced beside her at Azriel before nibbling on a piece of bacon. “You,” Nesta went on, pointing at Elain, “how did you get into his room? Why were you in his room?”

“I was making sure he was okay,” she replied, voice light, although she still wouldn’t meet her older sister's gaze.

“Is that why you didn’t text me back until last night?” Feyre asked, her eyebrows nearly to her hairline. “You were with him all day?”

“I must admit, Azriel,” Miryam cut in. “As happy as I was to see you, I wasn’t expecting you until much later in the day. Especially considering your evening before.” She gave him a sidelong glance that said they would be having a stern conversation later. He averted his eyes and cleared his throat.

The silence in the room built. Finally, Az glanced at Elain and then back to everyone before he said, “Cass didn’t tell you guys I was at Elain’s last night?”

As one, Miryam, Nesta and Feyre said “Last night?!”

Cassian paused with his fork full of pancakes to his mouth, still stuffed from his last bite. He shrugged and mumbled, “I didn’t think it was that big of a deal.”

Nesta smacked him a few times but then Novan asked, “So you guys had a sleepover?”

Elain choked on a piece of bacon as Azriel nodded, slowly. “Yeah, buddy.”

His eyes lit up. “I love sleepovers!”

Elain, having collected herself, smiled and patted Novan’s hand. Then, she looked at Nesta pointedly. “Let’s not talk about this right now. Cassian is right. It’s not a big deal.”

“It’s not?” Azriel frowned.

Elain’s eyes softened. “That’s not what I meant.”

The room got quiet for a moment and then Feyre asked quietly, “So does that mean you’re…back together?”

Elain was staring at her plate when she felt Azriel’s scarred fingers brush against hers in her lap. She glanced up at him, into his kind eyes, and she could see the truth of his words there.

I’m sorry.

I love you.

I’m not going anywhere.

She looked over at Novan, who was still focused on his pancake, and then back to Azriel and around to her family. She nodded once.

Azriel’s shoulders sagged as his hand around hers tightened. Nesta’s lips also tightened, but Miryam was smiling, softly.

“Well,” Cassian began, his mouth full. “Personally, I’m happy for the two of you.”

“Me too,” Rhysand agreed, but he was watching Elain, carefully.

Elain and Azriel were watching each other though, having their own little silent, comforting conversation. He smiled at her and she blushed as his thumb rubbed circles into the back of her hand.

Nesta stood and tossed her napkin over her plate, a hand clamped over her mouth. She rushed to the bathroom and they heard the door slam shut.

Miryam looked over her shoulder to where Nesta had run off. She turned back to Cassian who was still eating. He didn’t even look up at his mother, knowing her eyes were on him. “She won’t let me in. I’ve tried.”

“Cassian, she’s pregnant-.”

“You think I don’t know that?” He asked, taking a drink of his coffee. “I’ve spent hours knocking on the bathroom door, listening to her puke in the mornings. She will not let me in to- where are you going?”

He was looking at Elain who’d stood. “I’m going to check on her. She’ll let me in.”

Cassian scoffed. “Good luck.” They heard a quiet knock on the door and then it opened and closed again. “Are you kidding me?” He asked. “It’s my baby inside of her.”

“Yeah, you’re not very comforting in times of need,” Rhysand muttered.

Cassian shot him a vulgar gesture, and it was only when Novan repeated the gesture that Miryam was scolding him.

“So,” Miryam went on, after telling Cassian to knock it off. “Are you going to tell us what happened?”

Feyre seconded that notion.

“Starting when?” Azriel mumbled, taking another bite.

“How about from the time you walked in and found her in your hotel room?” Rhys asked.

Feyre asked, “How did she even manage to pull that off?”

Azriel cut another bite from his stack of pancakes and said, “She told them she was my girlfriend and she came to surprise me. They didn’t even ask for any proof.” He pointed his forkful of pancakes at Cassian. “If Elain was planning to murder me, you probably could have charged that girl working the front desk with accessory to murder.” He finally ate his pancakes, raising an eyebrow at Cassian.

“Did you two have sex, Azriel?”

He nearly choked, turning to look at his mother, just like both of his brothers did.

“Mom,” Azriel said, after he managed to swallow his food. “Really?” He glanced at Novan, who was humming to himself and playing with his tiny dinosaur figurines while he ate, completely oblivious to the conversation going on around him.

Miryam shrugged. “It’s a valid question, considering.”

“True,” Rhysand agreed.

“I’d like to know the answer,” Feyre followed.

Cassian was still stuffing his face with food, his eyes going back and forth between all of them.

Azriel blinked a couple of times, stammering. “I’m an adult.”

“You’re still the baby,” Rhys said. Feyre and Miryam nodded.

He cleared his throat. “I plead the fifth.”

Rhys rolled his eyes. “Overruled.”

“Meme, can I have more juice, pease?” Novan picked up his cup and held it out.

“Of course, sweetie,” Miryam said, standing and kissing the top of his head. She looked at all of them. “This conversation is on hold.”

Azriel sighed, taking another drink of his coffee.

Elain returned and said, “Nesta will be out in just a minute. I gave her some ginger tablets to soothe her stomach.” She sat down and began eating again, before noticing the quiet in the room. “What?”

Miryam came back from the kitchen and set Novan’s sippy cup in front of him. “Okay, Azriel, answer the question, please?”

“What question?” She asked.

“Whether or not you two had sex,” Miryam said, sitting back in her chair.

Elain gaped, then quickly looked to Novan, who was not intrigued with his juice. “Why are we talking about this at the breakfast table?”

“Because mom is nosey,” Azriel muttered. “So are the other three adults at this table.”

“Mothers tits,” Cassian mumbled through his food.

“Language!” Elain shrieked.

“Of course they had sex,” Cassian continued, continuing to eat as he talked. “A lot, judging by how red Elain’s face is.”

Elain sputtered before putting her face in her hands and groaning. “This is not breakfast talk.”

Azriel cleared his throat. “Can we all stop talking about Elain and I’s....romantic life?”

The bathroom door opened from down the hall and an exhausted Nesta plopped back down next to Cassian. “Sorry. What’d I miss?”

“Mama and Azriel had sex,” Novan said, having no idea what he was saying, but clearly proud of himself for contributing to the conversation, as he used his fork to scoot pieces of his leftover pancakes around his syrup covered plate.

Nesta's eyes opened wide and she demanded, “In front of him?”

“Of course not!” Elain groaned. “He stayed here last night.”

“Can we drop this conversation, please?” Azriel mumbled, his face pressed into his hands, muffling his words. “I want to die right now.”

“Good.”

Azriel removed the hands from his face and looked across the table.

Cassian rested his hand on her arm and quietly said, “Nes.”

“No,” she bit out, not looking at him, not taking her eyes off of Azriel. “You don’t just get to waltz back in here and act like you didn’t destroy her when you walked away from her. You don’t get to come back and pick up right back where you left off.” The room was silent. Elain was biting her lip and it was clear she was trying not to cry. “You didn’t have to deal with the fallout. You weren’t here when she’d wake up in the middle of the night shaking, crying so hard that she’d get physically sick. You weren’t here when she found out she was pregnant. You weren’t here when we had to admit her to-.”

“That’s enough, Nesta,” Elain whispered, tightly clutching Azriel’s hand under the table.

“Like hell it is,” she snapped. “He deserves to know what he did to you.”

“Then he deserves to hear it from me,” she said, looking up at her, tears shimmering on her face.

She opened her mouth to reply, but Cassian said, “Sweetheart,” and she looked down at him. “Now's not the time.”

Azriel pushed himself back from the table, his hand falling away from Elain’s.

All eyes were on him as he said, his voice low, “I have to use the restroom.”

It was a lie, they all knew it, but it didn’t stop him from numbly padding down the hallway and locking himself in the bathroom. He turned on the sink, just for the noise, as he braced his hands on the porcelain, his knuckles turning white.

He had it coming.

He deserved Nesta’s wrath.

He deserved the hateful words, deserved to know the truth, even though the truth would surely destroy him.

He deserved to be destroyed.

Excuses aside, he had walked out on Elain, and now he was back to see just what damage he’d caused. He let the water run as he wept, as he tried to control his anger and self loathing and failed.

He could hear raised voices in the other room, could hear that one of them was Elain’s and he could only assume the other belonged to Nesta. His head hung in shame as he knew Elain was out there defending him, regardless of the fact that he deserved the hatred he saw when he looked in Nesta’s eyes. It was the same thing he saw when he looked in his own.

Hatred. Disappointment. Anger. Pity. Regret.

These were the things he saw when he looked in the mirror every day. The things he saw when he looked up and gazed at his reflection. And it made him sick.

Without thinking, he pulled his fist back and slammed it into the reflective surface. It shattered, shards ricocheting across the small, tiled bathroom. All other sounds in the house ceased. Azriel stared at his fist, watching as blood welled along knuckles.

There was a frantic knocking at the door. “Az, baby? Are you okay?”

He blinked a few times, hesitating to let her in, but he promised. He promised he’d be there, and that included the hard times. Even when the hard times were his own.

He opened the door and she took in the tears streaming down his face and the blood dripping from his hand.

She stilled, her face going pale. Azriel opened his mouth but nothing came out. What was there to say? He’d repeated himself over and over and over again, and it wasn’t good enough.

It was never good enough.

So, he said the same thing he had said a million times already. “I’m sorry.”

His voice was a broken, miserable whisper, and Elain’s eyes fell as she took Azriel into her arms, holding the back of his head as he buried his face into her neck. His arms wrapped around her, tightly around her waist, careful not to get his bloodied mess on her sweater.

He sobbed, uncontrollably, hoping and praying that someone had taken Novan away during the chaos so that he didn’t have to see.

Azriel didn’t want Novan thinking any less of him than he probably already did.

The thought made him sob harder.

He just repeated his words, the mantra ringing truer and truer each time he said the words.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

I’m sorry.

Nesta had given up smoking when she was a teenager, but she hadn’t wanted a cigarette so damn badly in a long time.

Too bad she was pregnant.

Regardless, she sat on the swing on the front porch as far away from everyone as she could get.

Elain had never raised her voice with Nesta like she had today and Nesta had never yelled at Elain like she had. Nesta had never spoken her mind so freely either. She couldn’t understand how everyone could just welcome Azriel back after everything he’d put Elain and Donovan through.

But the sound of glass shattering from across the house made everyone freeze, and Elain was out of the room, calling for Rhys to take Novan down the street to the park.

The screen door opened and Miryam stepped out, offering Nesta a mug.

“No caffeine,” she said, her words clipped. “Bad for the baby.”

Miryam chuckled, although her eyes remained sad. “It’s a good thing this is tea then.”

When Nesta didn’t reach for it, Miryam set the hot mug on the little table next to the swing then sat next to Nesta without waiting for an invitation.

“Want to talk about it?” Miryam asked, at last.

Nesta didn’t respond. No, she wanted to snap, but she couldn’t snap at Miryam even if she wanted to. Not when the woman had stepped in and become the closest thing to a mother since her own died.

Miryam sighed and leaned back in the swing, looking out at the vast, calm landscape. “You’re wondering how I could welcome back Azriel so quickly. How we all can.”

Nesta didn’t say a word. She wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of being correct, even if Miryam already knew she was right.

“You have a right to be mad, Nesta,” Miryam said, quietly. “And you have a right to be scared.”

Nesta shook her head, slowly. “You were there. You saw Elain after he left, how broken she was.”

“Yes,” Miryam agreed. “I was. I did. I also hardly spoke to my youngest son for four years, my son who I was close to, because he was so deep in his self-loathing once he ran away.”

Nesta’s lips snapped shut and she turned her face away.

“I won’t excuse what he did, because it was wrong,” Miryam went on. “He shouldn’t have left. But, there’s one thing you need to know about Azriel, and it’s that he feels things a lot differently than his brothers. He feels too much. His life before us was…we don’t talk about it, but his self-worth has always been fragile because of it. When he was younger, he never handled his emotions correctly. When he felt too much, he hid, or he ran, like he just couldn’t help it.”

Drakon had found Azriel at the park with nothing but a suitcase packed with toys and snacks on more than one occasion.

Nesta shrugged a shoulder, although she neglected to meet Miryam’s gaze. “Doesn’t change the fact that he ruined my sister, who deserved a hell of a lot better.”

Miryam’s eyes softened. “Sweetheart, I haven’t seen the light shining in your sister’s eyes since Azriel left. Today, I saw that sparkle back in her eyes. If she was ruined, that light wouldn’t be shining anymore.”

Nesta swallowed hard. “What if he leaves again?”

“He won’t,” she said, and her voice was confident, even if it were soft.

“You don’t know that,” Nesta said, standing and beginning to pace, her tea forgotten on the table. Though her stomach was still flat, she placed a protective hand over it. “We never would have thought he would leave the first time, much less leave her at the altar.” Nesta’s eyes flashed as she looked above Miryam’s head and into the living room.

“Don’t you want Donovan to know his father?”

She looked back to a woman who’d become a mother figure for her. “Of course I do. I just want his father to be around without fucking my sister’s life up again.”

For a moment, Miryam said nothing, but then she said in the gentlest of voices, “I love Elain, too. I wouldn’t encourage a relationship with Azriel if I wasn’t sure his intentions were true. But when he looks at her, and when he looks at Novan... I know he means every promise that’s been coming out of his mouth.”

The screen door opened just a smidge and Cassian stuck his head out. “Glass is cleaned up.”

Miryam smiled sadly. “Thank you. How is he?”

“With Elain upstairs.” It wasn’t necessarily an answer to the question that was asked, but it was an answer, nonetheless.

Cassian looked at Nesta, noted the stubborn crease between her brows, and went back inside.

Miryam laid a hand on Nesta’s knee. “You don’t have to forgive him today. You don’t have to ever forgive him, but give him a chance. Let him prove himself before you write him off.” Nesta only nodded, unable to promise she’d do that. “I’m going to check on Azriel, but are you okay?”

She closed her eyes and sighed. She hadn’t realized, had no way of knowing, but Miryam had come to check on her before she’d even gone to see her own son. Without saying anything, Nesta wrapped her arms around her soon to be mother-in-law.

Miryam’s arms tightened around her, an answer to her silent request for the comfort she’d never received from her own mother.

#elriel lost time #snelbz #snelbz fanfic #snelbz x tacmc #tacmc snelbz collab #snacmc #elriel #elain x azriel

[snelbz]

4K Crossover Announcement Coming Soon!

Stay tuned.....

#snelbz rar #snelbz 4k crossover #snacmc #snelbz x tacmc #tacmc snelbz collab #sjm crossover #acotar #tog #hoeab #nessian #rowaelin #elriel #feysand #quinlar #elorcan #lysaedion

[snelbz]

No chapter updates today, guys!

I’m feeling pretty sick still and @tacmc is camping with her kiddos. We’ll be back with your regularly posted chapters on Monday, if not late tomorrow evening!

#the ranch nessian #snacmc lovely #lost time #snacmc #tacmc snelbz collab

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 21}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

Before Nesta even opened her eyes, she knew that she’d gotten some of the best sleep she’d had in months. She knew it was early, since Nyx hadn’t even woken them up for his morning bottle yet. Sighing comfortably, she settled deeper into her pillows, the weight of a heavy arm slung over her waist, pulling her in close.

With sudden clarity, she remembered the events of the night before. She remembered the damn kiss that had started it all. She remembered the orgasms Cassian had given her over and over. She remembered seeing something shining in his eyes that had nothing to do with lust or sex.

She was sure it was reflected in her own, but couldn’t work up the nerve to let herself think about what they’d done last night, what it may have implied. What lines they may have crossed.

And the fact that she really didn’t give a damn.

Nesta couldn’t remember the last time she was this happy, and as much as she tried to pretend it wasn’t thanks to the man sleeping soundly behind her, in her bed, she couldn’t lie to herself.

So she gently rolled over, careful not to wake him, and took in his sleeping face.

It was kind of funny.

Nesta had known Cassian for a while, for five years, and before that in passing, considering Feyre and Rhysand’s relationship. She had watched him age, had watched him grow from a young man into the man that had taken her the night before, but looking at him now…

There was an innocence about him when he slept.

He snored, quietly, completely unaware that she was awake, that she was watching him.

He was cute.

So, so cute.

If he awoke at that very moment and saw her watching him sleep, she would have surely been mortified, but she couldn’t bring herself to care, she couldn’t look away.

Memories from the night before flashed through her mind, and it only made her that much happier. She couldn’t remember the last time she had fallen asleep in a man’s arms, but with Cassian, she had fallen asleep peacefully, nearly instantly, and slept amazingly.

There was something about Cassian that she couldn’t quite put her finger on, but she knew that she liked it.

She dared to gently brush a kiss over his cheek, before carefully climbing out of bed, his heavy arm making that a much harder endeavor than she was expecting. But he slept on soundly, not even stirring as she slipped from beneath the sheets and hurried into her closet. She wasn’t embarrassed by her nakedness, not after everything that had happened last night, but she knew that if he caught her naked, they were likely to take far longer getting downstairs to start their morning.

Not that she would have minded, but she was pretty sure neglecting Nyx was not a good enough reason for sex.

No, she’d enjoy him again later, as thoroughly as he’d enjoyed her last night, if he was willing. And she had no doubt that he would be.

Tying her robe around her waist, Nesta slipped from the closet into her room, glancing to make sure Cassian was still fast asleep. His snore confirmed he was.

Her chuckle was quiet as she entered the hall, sneaking down a few doors and opening Nyx’s. He was still asleep, as well, and with a smile, Nesta cracked his door and quietly padded down the stairs.

The kitchen was still a mess, his half-smashed cake on the counter and their clothes strewn around the room. Blushing, she picked them up one by one and tossed them into the laundry room, before making Nyx a bottle and starting on some scrambled eggs for his breakfast.

She could hardly focus. She was constantly thinking about the man upstairs, still sleeping soundly in her bed. Mixing a little cheese into the eggs, she stirred the eggs up in the pan before dumping them directly onto Nyx’s high chair tray.

Last time they’d slept together, Cassian had made her breakfast and then they’d both agreed it would never happen again. Regardless of the fact that it very much had happened again, Nesta didn’t like the sinking feeling she felt in her heart when she thought about having to agree to that once more.

Staring at the ingredients she’d pulled out of the fridge, Nesta sighed and braced her hands on the counter in front of her.

She wasn’t sure when it had happened, but she couldn’t ignore the fact that she had feelings for Cassian anymore. At some point, he’d gone from being a pain in her ass to the favorite part of her day. And that terrified her.

Letting him continue to sleep, she crept upstairs and gently woke Nyx up before he could start screaming, and carried him down to the kitchen, his sleepy head resting on her shoulder. He rubbed his eyes as she put him in his high chair, handing him the bottle, and she started working on their breakfast.

The entire time he ate, Nyx watched Nesta curiously, as if he knew something was up.

Maybe it was just her paranoia. Then again, he was Feyre and Rhysand’s kid and they were always snooping into Cassian and Nesta’s business.

Feyre and Rhysand.

Nesta bet they were pretty damn proud of themselves at the moment.

She heard him moving around upstairs and her heart began to beat a little bit faster. This was it, the moment of truth.

She cursed, all the while Nyx kept watching her as he stuffed his mouth with scrambled eggs.

Making herself busy at the stove, she quickly dropped some bacon into the hot skillet, sizzling filling the kitchen. Within seconds, a few pieces of bread were in the toaster, and she was rummaging through the refrigerator for the blackberry jam she knew he preferred.

Nyx’s babbling announced his arrival, and she turned to find Cassian standing behind his high chair, wearing nothing but a pair of sweatpants slung low on his hips. He picked up a small clump of eggs and popped it into his mouth, and Nyx angrily began talking at him, though the made up words were unintelligible.

“He doesn’t like to share,” she said, closing the fridge door with a hip.

Cassian grinned. “Desperate times call for desperate measures. I worked up an appetite last night.”

Nesta’s cheeks turned a soft shade of pink. “Is that so?”

Cassian nodded and walked toward her, slowly. Nesta remained still until he was standing just in front of her. “I have to confess that I was hoping you’d be there when I woke up this morning.”

Nesta stepped closer to him. “Breakfast and the baby called.”

Cassian scoffed and muttered, “Priorities.”

Nesta laughed quietly, but the sound was muffled by Cassian’s lips against hers.

It was almost instinct to lean into him, to smile against his lips. When she pulled back just a hair, his hazel eyes were bright. She whispered, “Good morning.”

“Morning,” he breathed, his mouth still so close to hers.

She blushed, even though she couldn’t figure out why and turned to the stove. “I…wasn’t sure what to expect this morning.”

Cassian hesitated. “What did you think I’d do?”

Nesta sighed, scratching her head. “I don’t know. I thought you might act like it never happened. Or, you’d say it was only a one time thing like last time.”

Cassian cocked his head to the side. “Last time I didn’t sleep in your bed.”

“And that changes things?” Nesta asked, quietly.

“Last night changed things,” Cassian replied, brushing her hair back out of her face. “At least, for me it did.”

“Me too,” Nesta replied, without any hesitation.

Cassian’s eyes softened. “Nesta, I-.”

“NANANANANANANANA!”

They both spun around, where Nyx was watching them with the most precious of pissed off expressions. His tray was empty, practically licked clean, and Nyx was not having it.

Cassian chuckled as he took a banana out of the fruit basket and peeled it before cutting it up into slices. “He’s awfully full of it this morning, isn’t he?”

“I think he knows,” she said, rolling her eyes as she flipped the bacon. “Not specifically what happened, but he knows something is…different between us.”

He paused his cutting and turned back to her, pausing with a hip resting on the counter. “Good different or bad different?”

“Good different,” she said, smiling. She cracked a few eggs into a bowl and mixed them up with some milk. “Definitely good different.”

For a moment, Cassian didn’t say anything, but when she turned he was grinning. “Really good different?”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Shut up.” She turned back around. “But yes.”

“Good,” he breathed, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. “What’ve you got going on today?”

“Work,” she said. “Seeing how the bar renovation is going. Looks like you’ll have to hire your replacement soon with how quickly everything is moving.”

Cassian groaned. “That’s the part I’m looking towards the least. I hate interviews. I hate being in them, I hate giving them, they’re awful.”

“But the sooner you give them, the sooner you leave that bar and come work at mine,” she crooned.

“Yours?” he repeated, offended.

Nesta snorted. “Ours.”

He and Kallias had both given their notice to the owner of the dive bar they worked in. He wasn’t thrilled, but he had always been a gruff bastard. He’d informed Cassian he wasn’t going anywhere until he’d hired not only his replacement, but Kal’s, as well.

“Speaking of,” he sighed, glancing at the clock. “I’ve got one scheduled for eleven-thirty. What time are you going to the restaurant?”

She poured the egg mixture into the skillet she’d cooked the crispy bacon in moments before and began laying the bacon on the toast she’d made. “Whenever,” she shrugged. “Helion is opening today. What time can Viviane be here?”

“Ten. I’m not working a shift today, so after the interview I can either come back here and give her the rest of the day off, or I can come to the restaurant.”

Nesta chewed slowly as she thought about it. “I wouldn’t mind if you came to the restaurant.”

“Then that’s what I’ll do,” Cassian said, placing the cut-up banana in front of a cranky Nyx. “And you, little man, better be good for Viv today. Because you’re grumpy.”

In response, Nyx spit out the piece of banana he had put in his mouth and smushed up the rest on his tray.

After scarfing down the breakfast that Nesta had made, and making a show of thanking her for it, Cassian was cleaning up the kitchen then hurrying upstairs to shower. Nesta was left cleaning up a fussy, banana-covered Nyx.

“I don’t even think you wanted to eat the banana, kiddo,” she muttered, cleaning off his tray, before wiping him down with an ungodly amount of baby wipes. “I think it was just to play in.”

He had plenty to say about that, just nothing Nesta could understand.

A few minutes later, freshly showered and dressed Cassian came downstairs, where Nyx was playing on the living room floor. She was up the stairs a minute later, hurrying to take her own shower. After an hour, she returned, purse and keys in hand. “I’m going to go ahead and head to the restaurant. I’ll see you in a little while?”

He nodded and as she made for the door, Cassian stood, catching her by the elbow and tugging her back to him. She stumbled a step, but he crushed her to his chest and pressed a kiss to her lips. When he pulled back, they were both grinning like fools. “I’ll see you in a little while,” he repeated.

“Okay.” She was backing towards the door, that smile looking like it was a permanent fixture on her face, before slipping out and leaving he and Nyx alone.

Who was watching him again, looking so much like Rhysand with that little eyebrow raised.

Cassian couldn’t help but snort and say, “This is your fault you know.”

A few hours later, right after Nyx had gone down for his mid- morning nap, Cassian heard a knock on the front door. Opening the door, Viviane rushed in. “I’m so sorry I’m late,” she said, shaking her head.

Cass glanced at the clock on the mantle. “It’s barely ten-fifteen,” he chuckled. “No big deal, you’re fine.”

She nodded. “Sorry, just— It’s been a crazy morning.”

“Everything okay?” Cassian asked. Viv was usually steady, so sure of everything she did or said.

“Yeah,” she replied, waving off his question. “I’m fine. Ran into my ex at the coffee shop and— Ugh, ignore me. Don’t worry about it. Is Nyx down for his nap?”

“Yeah, he’s been out for about fifteen minutes. He had a pretty big breakfast, so I doubt he’ll be too hungry when he wakes up.” Cassian gnawed on his lip for a second debating on whether he should ask what was on his mind. After considering how well throwing caution to this wind has worked for him last night, he decided why the hell not. “Does that mean you’re single? Since you bumped into your ex?”

Viviane froze and blinked. “Yes, but I don’t date my employers—”

“No, no,” he quickly said, holding his hands out in placation. “It’s not me. It’s a friend of mine and I think you two might hit it off.”

Viviane raised a brow. “A friend, huh?”

“Guy I’ve worked with for years,” Cassian went on. “Great guy, in fact. You’ll enjoy yourself, guaranteed.”

“Guaranteed?” Viviane chuckled. “Well, I can’t say no to that, can I?”

Cassian grinned. “No, you can’t, and neither can he. Tomorrow night, you free?”

“I suppose I am, if my boss is giving me the night off,” she laughed.

“He is, and it’ll be great, we’ll all go out,” Cassian said. “You and Kal, and me and Nesta.”

“Kal,” she said, the shortened name rolling off her tongue. “Yeah, alright. That sounds fun.”

“Perfect,” Cassian said, patting her on the shoulder as he swept past her. “I’ve got to get going, but we should be home around five or so. Call if you need anything.”

Viviane chuckled. “You say that every time, and have I ever called?”

“It’s a habit!” he called, as he hurried out the door.

When he got to the bar, Kallias had everything under control, which meant Cassian was taking a table in the far corner, waiting for his interviewee to arrive.

Sadly, this wasn’t the interview to replace his own job. That was proving to be far more tedious than he was expecting. But an hour later, after shaking the young man’s hand, Cassian let out a sigh of relief as he left.

“And how’d that go?” Kallias asked, wiping down a few glasses that were drying atop the bar.

“Well, your position is officially filled,” he replied, sitting across from him at the bar. “So congratulations.”

“Cheers,” he chuckled, raising the empty glass towards Cassian. “When are we celebrating?”

“Tomorrow night, actually,” Cassian said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Kal snorted. “Seriously? I was kidding.”

“I’m not,” Cassian replied, shrugging. “We’re going out tomorrow night. You, me, Nesta, and Viviane.”

Kallias blinked. “The hot nanny?”

Cassian grinned. “Yeah.”

Kallias looked at Cassian suspiciously. “I thought you were kidding when you said you were setting us up.”

“Oh, I never kid about love,” Cassian said, winking.

Kallias raised a brow. “Love? Who the hell are you?”

Cassian filled his glass and took a gulp of beer. “Just meet us at Rita’s at eight tomorrow.”

Kallilas continued to stare at him for a long while. “You slept with her again, didn’t you?”

Cassian’s grin widened. “Tomorrow. Rita’s. Eight.”

And with that, he chugged his beer and left.

*

The next night, Cassian and Nesta dropped Nyx off at Elain’s before making their way to Rita’s.

“Our first date,” Cassian crooned, reaching his hand across the car to Nesta’s.

She took it fondly. “Our first date? After all we’ve been through, do we even qualify for a first date?”

“Why?” Cassian scoffed. “Just because we’ve been sleeping together and living with each other and raising a kid together?” He snorted. “Of course, we deserve a first date.”

Nesta rolled her eyes but did not protest.

Cassian had slept in her bed last night after another night of lovemaking. Even though it didn’t seem possible, it got better with each time. The more they got to know each other’s bodies, the more familiar with one another they became, the more they became one in intimacy, the more amazing it was.

“You look amazing tonight,” Cassian said, quietly. “In case I haven’t told you that yet tonight.”

He had.

Multiple times.

But, Nesta couldn’t blame him. She did look amazing in her navy blue dress and her blush heels. She looked over at Cassian, in his jeans and button down shirt.

Coincidentally, it wasn’t much different than what he had worn on their actual first date five years before. She chuckled, and he looked over at her, brow raised.

“This is actually our second date,” she said.

Cassian shook his head, amused, before looking back out the window as he turned into the parking lot. “Well, hopefully this date goes better than that one did.”

Nesta agreed.

As soon as Cassian opened Nesta’s door, they spotted Viviane pulling into the parking lot. They knew she was a pretty girl, but she usually showed up to work with a ponytail, jeans, and a t-shirt. Now, she had really dressed to impress.

Cassian whistled as she got out of her car and Vivane blushed as Nesta’ jabbed him in the ribs.

“You look beautiful,” Nesta told Vivane.

“Thanks,” she said, and Nesta could tell the nanny was a little nervous, a little uncomfortable.

“I see Kal’s truck,” Cassian said, gesturing for the women to follow. “I guess he’s already inside.”

Indeed he was and he’d already gotten a table for the four of them and was working on a pitcher of a beer.

“Hey, man,” Cassian greeted him as Kallias stood and shook his hand. “This is Nesta,” he said, placing a hand on her back.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” she said, reaching for his hand as well. They shook hands and Kallias smiled.

“You, too,” he replied. “I guess I should call you boss now, huh?”

“No, no, no,” she laughed, shaking her head. “Please don’t.”

“And this,” Cassian interrupted, rolling his eyes at the two of them, “is Viviane.”

As if he somehow hadn’t noticed the blond beauty behind Cassian until this moment, Kallias looked up at her and blinked. He was about to make some sort of hot nanny joke when Kallias breathed, “Viv?”

She was looking at him with the same dumbfounded look Kallias had on his face. “Kallias… Hey.”

Cassian and Nesta looked between the two, then at each other, and after a moment, Nesta asked, “You two know each other?”

Kallias still looked like he was trying to figure out what planet he was on, so Viviane answered, “We were…childhood friends. But my family moved to Velaris when I started middle school.” She shook her head, but she had been looking at Kallias the whole time. “I had no idea you were in Velaris.”

He finally remembered to speak, though Cassian was beginning to wonder if he’d need to answer for him. “I came out here for college. Loved the city and decided to stay.”

“College?” Viviane repeated. “You’re telling me that you’ve been here since your freshman year, and you’ve never called?”

Kallias chuckled. “I didn’t even know you still lived here!”

“Hmm,” Viviane said, taking a seat across from him. “Well, what a small world, hmm?”

“Yeah,” Kallias repeated, “small world.”

Cassian took a seat by Kallias and Nesta sat across from them as they went a little bit more in depth into their long lost friendship. Apparently they had grown up in the same neighborhood and had always gone to the same elementary school. Kallias was a year older than Viviane, but when he went into the seventh grade and Viviane was going into sixth, her family moved to Velaris for her father’s work.

They had never talked again after that. Their friendship was nothing more than a simple, joyful memory.

Seeing them now, Nesta thought, she just knew the two of them had gotten into trouble when they were little. Between their jokes and sly looks at one another, and the obvious chemistry, they had surely been up to no good and gave both sets of parents a run for their money.

“I’m going to the bar,” Cassian announced, looking at Nesta. “Care to join?”

Nesta had a feeling that it was less about going to the bar and more about giving the newfound couple beside them a few minutes alone. She nodded, and took his hand as they walked toward the bar on the other side of the room.

“They’re cute together,” Nesta said, sitting on a barstool.

Cassian sat on the one next to her. “Oh, I know. You know, I’ve gotta say, I feel pretty damn accomplished right now. I definitely made this happen.”

Nesta couldn’t help but roll her eyes at him, even as she leaned into his embrace. She wanted nothing more than to poke fun at him, to mess with him about his unexpected matchmaking skills, but as she looked at the two happy people laughing at the table across the bar, she couldn’t help but wonder if that’s the gift that Rhysand and Feyre had tried to give them all those years ago.

Even now, Nesta’s chest tightened as she smiled, so thankful for her meddling, baby sister.

#snacmc lawki #life as we know it #lawki #snacmc collabs #snelbz tacmc collab #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 24}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

A/N: Sorry for the late post! My baby shower was today, so Tara and I have been extremely busy! Look for Chapter 25 on her blog on Monday!

Warning: 18+ content.

Cassian got to the restaurant and took a look around. There were people everywhere, bustling about, getting ready for the night’s grand opening.

It had become the talk of the town - and the local groups on the internet - so they were expecting a good turnout.

At least, that’s what Cassian’s guess was.

He hadn’t talked to Nesta since he stormed out two days before, with the exception of one text exchange.

Cassian had texted, Tell Nyx I love him and I will see him tomorrow.

Nesta had replied, Ok.

Now, he was searching for that tiny little man with a mop of dark, black hair.

When he finally found Nyx, he was in his stroller eating cheeto puffs off the tray. When he saw Cassian his eyes lit up and he was instantly reaching for him.

Cassian laughed as he unbuckled him from his stroller and picked him up, giving him the biggest hugs. “Hey, buddy. I missed you, too.”

“This is his third helping of cheetos,” Helion said, from where he leaned against the wall. “Sorry about the next diaper.”

Cassian chuckled. “All this going on and Nesta stuck you on baby duty?”

Even saying her name out loud hurt, but he didn’t let it show.

He gestured toward the kitchen and said, “She’s been here since six and she’s in one of her moods. I decided I’d rather be on baby duty than caught in the crossfire.”

He winced, figuring that didn’t bode well for the two of them today. “I’ll stay in the bar, then.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” Helion replied, looking him up and down, before pushing the stroller behind the counter. Cassian had the distinct feeling he was looking for a crack in his armor. He didn’t bother telling him that he’d been broken for two days, and the only person who could fix him was currently yelling at some poor employee in the kitchen.

Cass crossed the threshold into the bar area and let out a low whistle. He’d had a hand in the design, but most of this was all Nesta. It accented the restaurant perfectly and he immediately loved the place.

“Nice, right?”

He turned to find Kallias carrying a tray of fresh glasses from the dish area and the smile on his friend’s face was infectious.

Cassian nodded as Kallias said hello to Nyx. “Yeah, it looks amazing.”

Kallias nodded. “You and Nesta did good.”

“Thanks,” Cassian muttered, not wanting the conversation to go any further. “How long have you been here?”

“Just got here,” Kallias said, as Nyx started playing with the strings on Cassian’s hoodie. “Viv will be here soon to help out. She said she can watch Nyx while we work.”

Cassian nodded. “That would be great.”

It would be helpful, of course, to have Viviane help out watching Nyx. Cassian had a ton to get done in the next six hours before the opening began. He didn’t want to let Nyx go, though. Two days. It was the longest he had been away from Nyx since...everything happened.

“Well, little man, until then, you get to help me unpack liquor bottles,” Cassian said, trying his best to sound excited.

Nyx giggled. “Ba ba ba ba ba ba.”

“Yeah, different kind of bottles,” Cassian chuckled, and carried Nyx with him into the back room.

Kallias had been at the bar for the past two days, getting most of the stock ready to go. A few texts to explain the situation was all he’d needed and Cassian was thankful he had such a loyal friend and coworker.

Elain hadn’t been as understanding the first night he’d been there, but after talking to Nesta, even she backed off. He had no clue what Nesta had said to her, but her frustration turned to sympathy and she was back to treating Cassian like the brother-in-law she loved and not like a man who’d hurt her sister.

After pulling the carrier out of Nyx’s stroller, he strapped the baby to his chest and set to work, carrying case after case of liquor up to the bar. Kallias was busy stocking the assorted glasses they’d need, so the two worked in silence for the most part.

He had just walked back into the store room, short one case of whiskey, when he heard Nesta talking from the dry pantry separating the store room and kitchen. Cassian’s heart lurched and he was about to make his way back into the bar, but Nyx squealed as he heard her voice.

The swinging door flew open as Nesta hurried into the store room, wondering how Nyx had gotten in there in the first place. She froze when she found Cassian there. Their eyes locked and she blinked.

“Hey, Nes,” he said, quietly.

“I…didn’t know you were here,” she breathed.

He shrugged, turning back to the boxes of bottles. “Got here about an hour ago. Didn’t want to interrupt you.”

Nyx was reaching for her, so he unclipped the carrier and gave him to her. He giggled happily as soon as he was in Nesta’s arms, but she froze, unsure of what to say. “You should have let me know you were here.”

Another shrug. “You were busy, and I knew what I needed to do. Kal said Viv would be here later to watch him.”

She nodded, silence filling the space again.

Nyx pointed at Cassian, reaching for him. “Dada.”

Cassian stilled.

He opened his mouth to say something, then closed his mouth.

A second passed.

Then, at last, he said, “What did he just say?”

“Dada,” Nyx repeated, and clapped his hands together. He reached for Cassian. “Dada!”

Cassian took Nyx, although he was moving slowly, stunned into silence. Nesta watched as a thousand different emotions crossed his face.

“Dada?” Cassian breathed, looking from Nyx to Nesta. “He just called me-.”

“He’s been saying it for the past two days,” Nesta said, staring at a spot on the wall behind Cassian.

For a moment, Cassian didn’t say anything, but then he asked, “You didn’t bother to tell me that?”

Nesta’s eyes narrowed and she slowly met his gaze. “You left.”

“A simple text letting me know that Nyx said his first word wouldn’t’ve killed you,” Cassian snapped. “Especially since his first word was…” Cassian shook his head, that fury fading as quickly as it had come. He looked at Nyx and chuckled, softly. “Dada, hmm?”

“Dada,” Nyx said, taking Cassian’s face into his hands before patting his stubbled cheeks with his chubby little palms.

Cassian watched Nyx for a moment, chuckling softly, before asking Nesta, “Has he said anything else?”

Nesta shook her head, even though Cassian wasn’t looking at her. “Just that. Probably wondering where you were. He’s been saying it nonstop, after all.”

“I’m sorry, bud,” he said, softly. He kissed the top of his head. “I’m still right here though.”

He was about to buckle him back into the carrier when Nesta reached for him. “I can take him. You’ve got a lot to do.”

“No more than you,” he said, settling him back into the carrier. “And I’ve missed him. Viv will come see Kallias when she gets here. Let me keep him.”

Her hands fell to her sides. “Fine.”

The tiny room felt like it was closing in on him, looking at her. They were so close together, whether they wanted to be or not. Without another word, Cassian grabbed the closest box and shouldered his way back through the swinging door.

Kallias caught the look on his face as soon as he came back. “That must have been the first conversation you two have had.”

Cassian grunted in response, letting Nyx continue to pat at his face.

“And how’d it go?” He asked, leaning against the bar.

“About as well as you think.”

Kallias watched his old friend for a moment before nodding, deciding to let the conversation drop. Cassian was grateful for it.

He was thankful for Nyx, too, for an endless amount of reasons, but right now, he was a distraction. With Nyx here, he was only thinking about Nyx, not about Nesta.

Cassian spent the next couple of hours lining up liquor bottles, and when Viv got there, she happily took Nyx and let Cassian work.

Once Nyx began playing with Viviane, Cassian’s thoughts were once again on the last person he wanted to be thinking about.

He continued to work, trying his best to keep his mind on that. It was kind of hard, though, when the owner of the restaurant was Nesta. He guessed he was part owner now, too - owner of the bar, anyway.

The hours flew by and by the time Cassian decided to check his watch, he realized he only had thirty minutes until the doors were opening for the main event.

He needed to get out of his old hoodie and into something nicer.

After making his way into the stockroom, he pulled off his hoodie before digging into his backpack for the black henley he’d brought. It wasn’t fancy by any means, but it was sure better than his ripped hoodie.

The door swung open as he was pulling his shirt over his head, and when he turned around, he saw Nesta, once again.

She stilled just in front of the door. “Are you planning on being in here every time I come in?”

It was meant to be a joke, something to lighten the mood, Cassian knew, but the light didn’t exactly reach her eyes.

He looked down at his shirt. “Just had to change. Didn’t think a hoodie was appropriate for an opening celebration.”

Nesta nodded, giving him a forced smile. “Couldn’t have gone all out with a button down?”

“This is Azriel’s,” he said. “All of my nicer things are at…home.”

He said the last word hesitantly.

Nesta’s eyes fluttered shut. He knew she was dying to say something, but what it was he couldn’t tell. He thought he knew her well enough to read her face. It seemed he was wrong though.

“I’ll come by and get my things on my day off this week,” he said, saving her the request. He pulled the Henley over his head, leaving his backpack against the store room wall. “You won’t even know I was there.”

“Cassian…”

He pushed back through the door without waiting to hear what she was going to say.

This was agony. Every moment of being around her hurt, because every time he saw her, he knew that he’d wasted the past three months of his life. He’d wasted his time falling in love with her, because she still hadn’t said it back.

“Dada!”

Nyx and Viv sat at one of the new tables, Nyx munching on some crackers, and even Kallias’ eyes dragged to him. Nyx’s blue eyes were the only ones he cared about though.

“That’s new,” Kallias said, from where he leaned across the bar.

Nyx’s new favorite word was one of the few things that had made him smile all day. Even if it tore him apart at the same time.

He didn’t mind Nyx calling him that. He was still too young to understand what had happened to Rhys. So one day, he’d explain to him who he really was, and who Rhys was. But until then, he was content to be Dada.

Cassian lifted him out of the high chair he was in and smiled, wistfully. “Hey, buddy.”

On the other side of the room, Nesta pushed through the double doors and into the restaurant, making sure everything was in order as the clock ticked down.

Cassian couldn’t keep his eyes off of her.

He wondered if she knew.

*

This was the biggest night that Nesta had in quite some time. A new bar would be amazing for business, and she was expecting a hell of a crowd.

And she wasn’t disappointed.

At exactly six, people began to pour in. They sat, and they ate, and by the Mother, they drank. She was amazed at how well Nyx was doing. She kept expecting to see him sleeping in a corner with Viviane, but he was being passed around to Viv, Kallias, Helion, and Cassian, having the time of his little life.

Nesta was glad someone was enjoying their night.

She should be enjoying her night, should be pumped at the booming business, but she could hardly focus.

All she could think about was him.

Cassian.

Every time she even got a glimpse of him, she wanted to run into his arms and tell him that she loved him. But she couldn’t do that. She had no clue what the repercussions of their relationship would do to Nyx, especially if something were to happen. If they were to break up, would this be their future? Barely speaking, passing the kid back and forth, both of them in misery?

Even when Elain and Azriel got there, both giving her hugs and warm smiles, the one on her face wasn’t real. She knew Elain could tell, knew she wanted to pull her aside, get the whole story, and quite possibly talk some sense into her, but she wouldn’t.

She couldn’t.

Not tonight.

As much as she tried to spend most of her time in the dining room, greeting guests and asking how they liked the drinks and new menu items, she kept ending up in the kitchen.

She got word that there had been a small grease fire on the line and she was about to rush into the kitchen when Helion stepped in front of her.

“Take a breath.”

“I can’t,” she replied, pulling her hair back off of her face. “There was a fire and-.”

“And it’s under control,” he said, gripping her by the shoulders. “It’s been put out, and I can go deal with Emrys and Luca and any potential fallout. Go have a drink, relax with your sister. You deserve a glass of wine and a moment to sit down.”

Nesta hesitated, but Helion wasn’t having it.

“Go,” he said. “Kallias is currently manning the bar. Go order a drink before the next wave of people come along.”

With a huff, Nesta nodded and exited the kitchen. True to Helion’s word, it was Kallias that was behind the bar. The second he saw Nesta coming, he was pouring a glass of wine.

She took a sip as soon as she reached the counter. “Vodka.”

Kallias blinked, then obliged her. He poured her a shot, Nesta downed it and thanked him, then took her glass of wine around the room to greet people. She eventually found Elain and Azriel, and was getting ready to take a seat by them, until she noticed Cassian already sitting with them, Nyx in his lap.

Bypassing their table, she gave them both an apologetic smile, before redirecting herself towards the bar. She breezed past it and Kallias, draining her wine and leaving it by the sink, before she entered the store room.

Cassian must have handed the baby off to Elain or Viviane, because not even a few seconds later, he was right behind her.

“Is this how it’s gonna be, Nes?” He asked, not stopping until he was right in front of her. “Are we just going to avoid each other, unless Nyx is concerned?”

The door hadn’t even finished swinging shut, but she noticed Kallias stacking a few boxes in front of the door.

For all intents and purposes, do not enter.

Their first night working together and already a fight. She couldn’t blame his frustration, this was all her fault.

“It hurts to see you,” she breathed. “It hurts to see you because I don’t know what the hell is going on.”

“You don’t know what the hell is going on?” He asked, incredulously. “I don’t know what the hell is going on! You’re so-.” His words fell away and his eyes shut as he rubbed his temples.

Nesta arched a brow. “I’m so what?”

“Infuriating,” he said, and met her eyes with a pained expression that knocked the breath out of Nesta. “It hurts for you to see me? It kills me to see you, but you know what? That’s on you. I wasn’t the one that started questioning everything. And you want to know what’s ironic? You’re pushing me away because you’re afraid it won’t work out. But, it’s not working now, Nesta. In pushing me away, you made what you’re worried about a reality.” He shook his head, slowly. “What the hell is the point of that?”

Nesta didn’t say anything. Her jaw locked and she refused to break his gaze, no matter how much it tortured her.

“It’s better for it to happen now rather than later,” she said, and hated herself for it the second the words left her. “It’s better for it to end before it really begins.”

Cassian chuckled, humorlessly, and shook his head. “That's bullshit and you know it. It already began, Nesta.”

He took a step toward her, and in such a small room, it left very little space between them.

Nestas breath hitched, and judging by the way Cassian’s eyes flared, he definitely noticed.

“Tell me you don’t care about me, and it’s done. We’ll pretend these past few weeks never happened, and we can move on,” he whispered, and she could feel his breath fan over her face. “Tell me this all meant nothing to you, and it’s over.”

Her eyes flashed down to his lips before meeting his own. “I can’t do that.”

Cassian wasn’t sure who moved first. If he grabbed her face or if she leaned up and pressed her lips to his, but before he knew what was happening, he had her back pressed against the store room wall. Gods, it had only been a few days, but kissing her again, the feel of her lips on his, it felt like he hadn’t been able to breathe.

Her hands were clawing at his back and he found her thighs, lifting her up to wrap her legs around his waist. He hadn’t even noticed she’d changed into a loose, sundress but thanks to her own wardrobe change, there was very little fabric between them as she let go of him to fumble with his belt buckle and jeans.

There were no words necessary, not when they both needed the other as badly as they did.

Their lips never broke, that contact remained, hungrily, needily, as Nesta pulled Cassian’s cock out and, moving the thin scrap of fabric beneath her dress aside, he pushed himself up into her.

Nesta moaned into his mouth at the feeling of him filling her. He bit her lip, and that moan deepened as he began to thrust deep inside of her, over and over again.

There was no foreplay.

Foreplay wasn’t necessary, not this time.

Two days, two nights, had been far too long when they had become so accustomed to this same ritual every night, time and time again.

Cassian’s head fell back as he fucked her, relentlessly, then he met her lustful gaze. His forehead fell against hers as he slowed his pace. With a soft, reverent curse, Cassian breathed her name.

She clung to him, the smell and taste and feel of him making her feel far more drunk than the wine or liquor had. Nesta buried her face in his neck, trying to cover the sounds tumbling from her.

He captured her lips again, knowing her body better than his own at this point, and thrust into her as hard as he could.

The bottles on the shelves rattled gently, but he didn’t care if anyone could hear them in the bar. He didn’t care if anyone caught them. All he cared about was that he was deep inside of her, listening to the quiet whimpers and moans that she couldn’t stop.

There was no way she could walk away from this.

Not just from the sex. Which, yeah, was incredible, but there was more to it than that.

Their souls were connected, which is what made the sex so mindblowingly phenomonal.

It was more than just sex.

It was something that Cassian swore no one else had ever witnessed before. Or, maybe they had. Maybe this is what it felt like when you found the person you were meant to spend forever with.

No, Nesta couldn’t walk away from this.

He swore, hoped, prayed she couldn’t.

He wanted to say those little words. Wanted to tell her, so desperately, that he loved her, but he didn’t.

He just kept saying her name over and over and over again with every thrust of his hips.

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

“Nesta,” he breathed, and she cried out as her legs began to shake around him. He cursed, his fingers digging into her thighs as his body flooded with the need to explode.

As soon as her release slammed into her, he met his own, her name a groan as he spilled into her. They stayed like that for a moment, him still buried inside her, even as his seed started to drip down her legs. Thankfully, the sound of the party out front had covered any and all noises they’d made. Her breathing was still uneven as he pulled out, and he pulled that ripped hoodie from his backpack and silently used it to clean her up.

Tossing it back towards his bag, not caring if it made it inside or not, he paused in front of her, and tried to tilt her face up to his.

She refused.

He breathed, “Look at me, Nes…”

She shook her head, and damn him if those weren’t tears starting to spill down her cheeks.

He gripped her chin, forcing her eyes up to meet his. “Damn it, Nesta, talk to me. Just talk to me and tell me what you’re thinking.”

“I think you need to go,” she breathed.

He hesitated. “What?”

“You need to go,” she repeated, but there was no bite in her voice.

Cassian took her face in his hands and brought her eyes to his. “I’m not leaving. Not after that.”

“Go,” she repeated, and another tear slid free. “Go, Cass, please.”

He shook his head, fury, frustration, utter misery filling his core. He dropped his hand and stepped back. “Damn it, Nesta! What do you want?!”

“For you to leave,” she hissed.

“You’re a fucking liar,” Cassian snapped. “You say you can’t tell me that you never cared, you fuck me in a damned store room, then you ask me to leave?”

“You’re making this harder than it has to be.”

“I’m making this harder?” he asked, breathlessly, unable to stop his darkened laughter. He looked away from her and sucked in his bottom lip.

A moment passed, and Cassian refused to meet her gaze. “I don’t get it,” he said, at last. “I don’t get it. I don’t know what you want. I don’t know what you want from me.” His words were coming out rushed, frazzled. “Know what? Fine. If this is the way you want it, this is the way it is. I’ll be at Elain’s and Azriel’s tonight, and I’m taking Nyx with me. I’ll bring him by tomorrow, when Viviane is there.”

With that, he was gone.

And Nesta was left alone, her hands flying over her mouth as she sobbed, still able to feel the soft, tender, alluring feeling of his lips on hers.

#snacmc lawki #snacmc collab #snelbz tacmc collab #life as we know it #nessian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 19}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

A/N: Well, we promised a chapter today, so we decided to follow through on that. Even if we did post a surprise chapter last night. Oh, well. Enjoy! 🙃✨

Cassian sighed as he opened his eyes.

Another year older, another year wiser.

Well.

Another year older, anyway.

He blinked as he looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. 7:58. Two minutes before his alarm would have gone off.

He hated when that happened, when his mind woke him up just before his alarm went off. There was no time to go back to sleep, it was perfect sleeping time wasted.

It was bullshit.

With a yawn, Cassian swung his legs over the side of his bed and got up. He stumbled to his dresser and pulled on a pair of sweatpants, just in time for his alarm to go off.

“Fuck you,” he muttered, quickly turning it off before flinging open his bedroom door.

It smelled delicious.

He meandered down the stairs and into the kitchen, where Nesta was icing a giant cake.

Her eyes darted to his.

He blinked.

“Get out!” she ordered.

“What the hell are you-.”

“Out!” she ordered, yet again.

Nyx babbled something at the top of his lungs that closely resembled, YEAH!

He did as he was told, blearily blinking as he stumbled back into the living room. He dragged a hand down his face. “Can I at least have some coffee?”

“In a minute!” She called and he heard quick footsteps, followed by the back door opening and closing. It opened again and she said, breathlessly, “Okay. You can come in now.”

Tentatively, Cassian rounded the corner and he found Nesta placing a platter of cinnamon rolls on the counter in place of the—

“Where did the cake go?” He asked, raising an eyebrow as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

Nesta was lifting a cinnamon roll onto each of the plates in front of her, cutting the one for Nyx into tiny bites for him. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He blinked again, half-wondering if he’d imagined the decorated monstrosity he’d seen on the counter, but he sniffed, smelling the air again.

It mostly smelled like the sweet and spicy scent of cinnamon, but—

No, that was definitely cake he smelled.

“Right…” he said, pulling forks out of the silverware drawer and setting one next to each plate. “You’re up early.”

“Had a lot to do before renovations start this morning. I’m meeting Helion and the contractor at the restaurant at nine.” She sipped her own coffee, not looking at him. Mixing truth and lies, it seemed, since he knew she was meeting the contractor this morning. As for a lot to do, he knew everything at the restaurant was already taken care of. She cleared her throat. “I wasn’t expecting you to be up so early either.”

Cutting into the gooey cinnamon roll, he said, “I gotta be at the bar in an hour. I’m talking with Kallias this morning before my shift starts.”

She set her coffee down and finally looked at him. “You have to work today?”

“Yeah,” he replied, popping the bite of pastry into his mouth. He resisted the urge to moan. “It’s Tuesday. I always work on Tuesdays.”

She hesitated, deciding whether she should speak or not. “But it’s your birthday.”

He couldn’t stop his smirk. He knew there had been a cake.

“And who told you that?” He asked, leaning over to wipe Nyx’s face off. The poor kid had icing all over his face, all the way up into his hair.

“That’s not important,” she said.

“Elain, then,” Cassian went on with a grin.

Nesta pretended like she hadn’t heard him and took a giant bite of her cinnamon roll.

“I’ll take Nyx with me to the bar,” Cassian said. “Viviane texted. She has the stomach flu.”

Nesta cringed. “That sucks. I...wait - you’re taking a baby to a bar?”

Cassian shrugged. “He’ll be fine. I only have to stay until two or so.”

“A baby,” she repeated, blinking. “To a bar.”

“You prefer to take him into a construction zone?” Cassian asked. “One that you’re in charge of? That sounds stressful.”

Nesta’s eyes narrowed. “I can ask Elain to watch-.”

“I’m taking him with me and he’ll be fine,” Cassian said, shaking his head. “I promise.”

Nesta narrowed her eyes. And he held up both hands. “I promise,” he repeated.

“Fine. But call me if you need to and I’ll come get him,” she sighed, shaking her head. “I’ll be in my office most of the day, so it’s not like he’ll be running around in a construction zone.”

“And I’ll take the carrier and physically wear him all day, so it’s not like he’ll be running around the actual bar.”

Nesta groaned. “Fine. Fine. But take the pack-n-play, his monitor and toys. He can entertain himself well enough.”

“Okay,” Cassian nodded, finishing off his cinnamon roll. He pulled Nyx out of his high chair, who was now playing with and wearing most of his food, rather than eating it, and said, “I’ll give him a bath while you get ready.”

“Okay.” He was nearly in the living room when he heard, “Cass?” He turned and looked back at her, still not completely used to the familiar nickname from her. She was blushing slightly. “Happy birthday.”

Smiling, he said, “Thanks,” and turned to head up the stairs.

Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad after all.

*

“Any birthday plans?”

“You’re looking at it.”

Kallias chuckled as he observed Cassian, a wiggly baby strapped to his chest, counting the liquor bottles that lined the wall.

“How old are you anyway?” he continued, wiping down the bartop. “Thirty? Thirty-one?”

“You wound me,” Cassian muttered, scribbling a number down on his clipboard, not bothering to tell Kallias just how close to thirty he was getting to.

“I would say we should do shots to celebrate your big day,” Kallias began, taking Nyx’s outstretched hand. “But, I think your little housewife would disapprove.”

Cassian snorted. “If Nesta Archeron ever heard you call her such a thing, you’d lose a very important body part.”

“Not interested in that, thank you very much,” he muttered. “She ever gonna stop in, so I can see this terrifying woman you’ve told me about?”

“About that…” Cassian pulled Nyx out of the carrier and carried him into the back office, setting him down in the play pen. Grabbing the baby monitor, he made his way back into the front room.

Kallias looked up from where he was cutting limes at the bar. “About what?”

He leaned a hip on the bar and crossed his arms over his chest. “Nesta is going to be expanding the restaurant, adding a bar. That’s actually where she is right now, why I’ve got the kiddo with me. Didn’t really want him in a construction site.”

“Hot nanny couldn’t keep him?” Kallias asked, grinning.

Cassian rolled his eyes. “No, she’s sick. But, uh-.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m gonna be leaving and going over there, managing for her.”

Kallias eyes widened. “Oh. Shit.”

“Yeah. And I’d like you to come over there with me. Be my assistant manager at the new place.”

Kallias stopped cutting, mid-lime. “You do realize we are two out of five people that work here, right?”

Cassian nodded, slowly. “Yeah, I do. And I also know we can hire more people here.”

Kallias looked back down at his half-cut lime. “Assistant manager, huh?”

“It’s in a great part of town, we’d get amazing tips on top of already being paid more,” Cassian said. “It’s an amazing opportunity.”

“So I’d be stupid to say no, then?” Kallias asked, continuing to cut his limes.

“Incredibly stupid,” Cassian agreed.

Nyx’s happy babbling came through on the baby monitor.

“I’ll think about it,” Kallias said, at last.

“Think about it, then tell me yes, because I’m not going there without you,” Cassian said.

Kallias snorted. “You’re a shitty liar. You’re going, whether I go or not.”

“And why wouldn’t you come with me?” Cassian asked, facing his friend. He and Kallias had worked together for years, since Kallias came in at twenty-one, during his senior year of college. “You want to be stuck in this dive bar forever? I know you. You’re a creature of habit. If I leave you here, you’ll be here for the next twenty years.”

Kallias didn’t bother telling him it wasn’t true. He just shook his head. “I guess we better start interviewing people, then.”

*

The day did not go as planned. Cassian had to stay and help out until nearly five-thirty, and by the time Cassian walked in the front door, Nyx was knocked out cold in his car seat. He gently set it down and unbuckled him, carrying him into the kitchen. It smelled divine, like roasting herbs and cooked veggies, even if he couldn’t see anything radiating the delicious smells.

Nesta was also nowhere in sight, so he took Nyx up to his nursery and laid him down, setting the baby monitor back up where it usually sat. He slipped the screen in his back pocket and made his way back downstairs, hurrying out to his truck to get Nyx’s diaper bag and the folded up playpen.

As he was setting it back up in the living room, he heard the sliding glass door open and close and made sure he was making enough noise to alert Nesta of his presence.

“You’re home,” she said, leaning on the doorway. “Nyx asleep?”

“Out like a light,” he said, tossing the few toys he’d brought with him back into the pen. “He had fun though.”

“Good. Dinner is almost done,” she smiled. “I hope you’re hungry.”

“Starving,” he sighed and took another deep breath in. “It smells amazing.”

Turning, Nesta walked back into the kitchen. “Steak, garlic mashed potatoes, roasted carrots and green beans, and homemade rolls.”

He watched as she took the carrots and green beans out of the oven and placed them next to a plate of steak she must have just brought in from the grill.

Cassian’s mouth was damn near watering.

He looked at the spread as she spooned the mashed potatoes onto his plate. “I think I’m in love with you.”

Nesta tensed, then something like nervous laughter sputtered out of her mouth. “Well, I had to cook red meat for you on your birthday.”

“Does that mean you’ll be having yourself a steak, Archeron?” he asked, taking the full plate from her outstretched hands.

She gave him an amused look. “Hell no. You get both. I have a chicken kabob on the grill.”

Cassian licked his lips as he took his plate to the table. “Consider me a lucky man. Thank you.”

“Of course,” she said, clearing her throat. She piled her plate high with potatoes and veggies before going onto the deck and coming back with a grilled chicken kabob on her plate. She sat across from him. Cassian’s mouth was already full.

“How is it?” Nesta asked, cutting up a carrot before popping it into her mouth.

“Delicious,” Cassian said, mouth full. “So good.”

“If you don’t slow down, you won’t be able to enjoy the flavor,” Nesta said, knowing full well that he wouldn’t listen. Cassian practically inhaled everything on his plate within minutes.

He moaned, stretching back in his chair before running a hand through his hair. “I must say, Nes, you really outdid yourself.”

“Well, it was the least I could do after you worked and were on baby duty all day,” she said, popping a few green beans in her mouth.

They talked about their days as she finished eating. He told her about Kallias’ agreement to move to the restaurant, she told him about the beginning of construction.

They’d kept half the restaurant open, putting up a temporary wall to keep as much noise and dust out as they could, but the sooner the build was done the better. They both agreed on that.

“So, despite your switch with the cinnamon rolls this morning,” Cassian said from where he sat as she rinsed off their plates, “I’m fairly sure I saw a cake when I came downstairs.”

“Really now,” she said, and he saw the small smile on her face.

“Mhmm,” he nodded. “And, you know, I like cake.”

“And why, exactly, would I make you a cake?” She crooned, that little smile remaining.

“Because I’m the world's best roommate and uncle, obviously,” he said.

Nesta laughed as she stood. “Yeah, whatever.”

After exiting through the back door, she returned a moment later with a big, homemade cake.

It was exquisite.

Perfectly decorated and topped with vanilla and buttercream frosting, it read Happy birthday, Cassian!

As Nesta placed it on the countertop, Cassian asked, “Nesta, when the hell did you find time to make this?”

She shrugged. “Stayed up later and got up early. Didn’t have to be too early since you decided to sleep in today, but…” Her words trailed off. “I figured it was the least I could do.”

His mouth tightened, emotion he wasn’t expecting hitting him and he cleared his throat. “You gonna sing to me?” He asked, cracking a joke to break the tension that was slowly growing.

Nesta threw her head back and laughed. “Absolutely not.”

Cassian bit back his retort and the monitor in his back pocket went off, crying coming from upstairs.

“I’ll get him,” she said, standing up. “I’m sure he’s hungry. Will you cut up green beans and carrots for him?”

He nodded, the cake forgotten as he did what he was told, and Nesta returned with a bleary-eyed Nyx a few minutes later.

“Hi buddy,” Cassian said, chuckling at Nyx’s hazy expression. He was already sitting at the table with a plate of cut up food.

The second Nyx saw the display, he was whining and reaching for it.

“Slow down, you need to be buckled into your seat first,” Nesta said, shaking her head.

“I can’t blame him,” Cassian said, as Nyx was strapped into his high chair. “I’m starving when I wake up, too.”

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Men.”

The second Nyx’s diapered butt hit the seat, he was stuffing his mouth.

“I guess we should wait for him to eat the cake,” Cassian said, looking longingly at the cake.

Nesta chuckled. “No patience?”

“When it comes to homemade baked goods?” Cassian scoffed. “No.”

She snorted, which had Cassian raising an eyebrow. She looked at him. “What?”

“Nothing,” he replied, shaking his head. “That was just…cute.”

Nesta didn’t reply, but he swore she could see her cheeks heating as she turned to put the leftovers from dinner away.

Once Nyx’s plate was cleared, Nesta cut three slices of cake. One was barely a sliver, one was mostly icing and one was damn near a quarter of the cake. She took the one with extra frosting for herself, placing the small one in front of Nyx and the larger one in front of Cassian.

Again, Nyx wasted no time scarfing it down. Cassian didn’t either, helping himself to another, much smaller piece afterwards, but not touching it yet.

“You sure you don’t want to sing to me?” He asked, taking a bite of the cake. “It would complete my day.”

Nyx, an impending sugar crash, was already dozing again. Apparently, his day with Uncle Cassian had well and truly worn him out.

She rolled her eyes and wiped the excess cake off of Nyx’s face. Pulling him out of his high chair, she said, “No, I think I’m good.”

“I’m just saying,” Cassian pushed. “If you wanted to really wish me a happy birthday, a song would do.”

Nesta snorted, taking Nyx in her arms and swaying, back and forth. “You’ve never heard me sing.”

“If your singing is as good as your cooking, it must be amazing,” Cassian promised.

Nesta rolled her eyes. “Have I told you that you’re full of shit?”

Cassian pretended to debate it. “Maybe once or twice.”

Nesta chuckled, and said no more about it. “Finish your cake, Nazari. This little monster is ready for bed. I’ll put him down. It’s your birthday.”

It wasn’t that putting Nyx to bed was exhausting. Although sometimes it could be a chore, Cassian nodded and took another bite of his cake as Nesta and Nyx disappeared.

In their absence, Cassian cleared his plate.

The cake was delicious.

He knew Nesta was an amazing cook, but didn’t know that her baking skills were just as good. It was the best cake he had ever eaten. He was even considering getting himself a third piece, but decided against it as she rounded the corner back into the kitchen.

She sighed, falling into her chair. “That may have been record time to get him down. He was practically asleep before I’d even pulled the curtains shut.”

“He had a big day,” Cassian said, eyeing the piece of cake on her plate that she hadn’t even touched. “Taught him how to make a mojito. He’s a pro. Maybe we should hire him on at the bar.”

Shaking her head, Nesta cut into her cake and took a bite. She chuckled. “I’m sure that doesn’t violate any labor laws.”

“Nah, we’re his guardians,” Cassian said, waving a hand. “We can certainly get some free labor out of him.”

She rolled her eyes. “I honestly can’t tell if you’re kidding or not.” She took another bite of cake, and Cassian’s eyes dipped to her mouth. He was quiet for long enough that she asked, “What?”

He hesitated but said, “You’ve got a little—”

He didn’t finish his sentence, instead he leaned forward across the small space between them and swiped the frosting that was on the corner of her lips away with his thumb.

Nesta didn’t move.

She didn’t push him away, didn’t tell him to stop touching her, either.

Cassian’s thumb lingered against her lips, and when she looked up, he was already watching her, quietly.

She opened her mouth to say something.

What? She wasn’t sure.

But, when her lips moved, Cassian’s did, too.

He kissed her, softly, slowly, and Nesta melted right into it.

#snacmc lawki #snacmc collabs #snelbz tacmc collab #life as we know it #lawki #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 23}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

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Nesta was torn.

Half of her thought that Cassian was overreacting, but the other half of her thought that his anger and frustration was perfectly justified.

What exactly were they getting into? And, was it what was best for Nyx? Yeah, the last month had been great, but if it didn’t work out, what would that mean for him? Would it be better if she and Cassian had simply remained two friends, co-parenting under one roof?

Nesta’s heart began to beat a little faster.

She felt like she was going into a panic attack.

Cassian and Nyx had been gone for an hour, and every second that passed became more and more unbearable.

She needed him to be there.

She needed to figure this out.

She just didn’t know what the answer was.

Alis had gotten into her head, there was no doubt about that. A little over an hour ago, she was living in a dream, then Alis came in, out of nowhere, and brought her back to reality.

She was sitting on the couch, almost exactly where he’d left her, when he finally returned. He was covered in sweat, his t-shirt sticking to him. Nyx was having a conversation with him, more to himself though, since it didn’t seem like Cassian was even close to paying attention to him. But his eyes went directly to Nesta as soon as he walked in.

She’d changed. She no longer wore his t-shirt, instead in a loose shirt of her own and a pair of jeans, and her hair was loose and wet around her face. As if she’d need to shower their night together, shower him off of her. Not a shred of that beautiful skin was showing, not like she’d been doing lately. Leggings and shorts and tank tops. She’d been comfortable around him.

With a scoff, Cassian set Nyx down on the floor. He headed for the stairs, but Nesta stood, nearly toppling the cup of coffee she’d been clutching over as she set it on the coffee table. “Cassian, we need to talk about this.”

He paused, waving a hand towards her. “What for? It looks like you’ve already made your decision.”

“I need you to calm down,” she said, steadily. “I need you to think logically.”

Cassian closed his eyes and took a deep breath. “I need you to tell me.”

Nesta hesitated. “Tell you what?”

“If this is something you want to pursue or if I just wasted the last couple months falling in love with you,” he finished.

His voice may have lacked emotion, but Nesta felt every word like a stab in the chest. Falling in love with you. Those were the words she was going to tell him today, under much different circumstances.

Now, she didn’t know what to think.

Now, she was overwhelmed.

Now, all of her thoughts were rushing toward the same spot in the middle of her skull at a thousand miles an hour, and when they got there, her head would explode.

“It’s not that easy,” she said, and her voice cracked.

“But it should be,” Cassian said. “If you feel the way that I do, it should be that easy.”

“We have to think of Nyx,” she breathed.

“I am thinking of Nyx,” he said, struggling to keep his voice low. At the sound of his name, the baby turned to look at him. “I want him to grow up in a happy home, seeing two people who love each other, and damn it if that isn’t how it’s been for the past few weeks.”

“It’s not that simple,” Nesta said, shaking her head. “What happens if we break up? What happens if we get in a fight or something happens to one of us? What then?”

He had strode down the stairs and was in front of her before he could stop himself. He framed her face in his hands, like he had so many times the past month, to kiss her, to make love to her, to show her how he cared for her. “Why are you worrying about the what if’s? Why are you worrying about what could go wrong, rather than how right everything has been?”

Because everything goes wrong eventually. The only reason we’re together is because we were shoved into this house after the worst thing imaginable happened. They died. We took over. What right do we have to be happy?

The words flooded her mind, but stilled on her tongue.

Nesta didn’t push him away. She wanted to reach up on her toes and kiss him, softly, but she didn’t.

Instead, she met his gaze. “Cass,” she breathed.

The pain in his eyes nearly shattered her heart into a million pieces.

Nyx had walked up to them and was hugging Nesta’s leg, as if he knew that she needed the comfort.

“Dont say my name like that,” he whispered.

Nesta slowly shook her head. “I just think this has all happened too quickly. We haven’t been thinking, we’ve just been acting-.”

“You’re pushing me away,” Cassian interrupted, swallowing harshly. “Damn it, Nesta.”

“You don’t understand,” she pleaded.

“Because you’re not making sense,” he argued. “Things have been perfect—”

“They’re dead!” She cried, pulling from his grip, scooping Nyx up. “Things have been far from perfect. We’re only like this now because Rhys and Feyre are dead.”

The words seemed to freeze something inside of Cassian and he stepped back as well. “So what? We go back to how we used to be? I’m back in the guest room and we awkwardly exchange good mornings over breakfast?”

She closed her eyes, trying to block out the sight of him, the scent of him, everything. “I don’t know, Cassian, I don’t—.” She took a shuddering breath, her arms wrapping tighter around Nyx. “I just need some time to think, to breathe…”

When she looked back up at him, his jaw was set and he was slowly nodding. “Fine. Take your time.”

And then he was moving, back up the stairs before Nesta could even ask what he was doing.

A few minutes later, he was back with a duffle bag in his hands.

“Wh—what are you doing?”

“Giving you space,” he said, refusing to meet her gaze.

Nesta opened her mouth but nothing came out. She was frozen where she stood, her feet stuck to the floor, her mouth hanging open, that panic rising from the pit of her stomach into her heart, which was beating far too quickly.

Cassian kissed Nyx on the forehead as he passed, but paid Nesta no mind as he went for the door.

“Cassian!” She called, at last.

Cassian stopped just in front of the door, keeping his back to her, one hand on the doorknob.

“You're just going to leave?” She asked, quietly, bouncing a sleepy Nyx on her hip. “Just like that?”

Cassian didn’t turn around. “Are you going to ask me to stay?”

Yes. No. I don’t know. Nesta said nothing.

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he grumbled, exhaustion lacing his tone. “Maybe I need time to think, too.”

He opened the door and shut it softly behind him.

*

He didn’t know where else to go. He didn’t have anywhere else to go.

He knew where he wanted to be, but right now…

He couldn’t look at her.

It didn’t escape him that when he’d told her he’d fallen in love with her, she didn’t say it back. He couldn’t even act like he hadn’t seen her eyes flare in panic. So he couldn’t stay there. Couldn’t go back to sleeping in that guest room, not when he’d become so used to sleeping with her in his arms every night.

So Cassian had ended up here, knocking on his brother’s door, thankful that his car had been parked in the driveway when he pulled up.

He needed a drink. He needed someone to tell him he was being an asshole. He needed someone to listen while he vented and bitched. He knew Azriel would do all that for him.

When he answered the door, Seph was in his arms, pulling on his bottom lip. She smiled when she saw Cassian, but Azriel’s surprised smile quickly faded.

“Do I want to know?” He asked, looking at the duffel bag tossed over Cassian’s shoulder.

Cassian sighed, raking a hand through his hair. “Can I sleep here tonight?”

Azriel stared at him for a second before stepping aside and letting Cassian pass.

“Are we talking about this now or later?” Azriel asked, shutting the door behind them.

“Beer?” Cassian asked, dropping his bag beside the couch.

“Fridge,” Azriel said, slowly, watching him.

Cassian made his way to the kitchen and threw open the refrigerator door, grabbing a cold bottle and chugging its contents.

Azriel followed, leaning against the countertop and Seph continued to play with his lips.

“Where’s Elain?” Cassian asked, tossing the empty bottle into the trash and getting another.

“Work,” Azriel said, sighing. “So, if this involves smack talking Nesta, you may want to get it out now.”

He shook his head. He didn’t want to do that, barely wanted to think about her. But he owed Azriel at least some explanation.

“The social worker stopped by this morning,” he sighed, leaning back against the counter and opening the beer. “And honestly, yeah, it was unexpected, but I figured it’d be fine. Last time, Nes was drunk off her ass, but we— I figured, since we were more of a family this time, things would be great.”

Azriel blinked. “They’re not taking Nyx, are they?”

Another shake of his head. “No, gods, no. They— She could tell he was in good hands, but she immediately picked up on Nesta and I. What we’ve…become.”

It seemed, just like Cassian, Azriel didn’t see it as a problem. He wasn’t following. “And?”

“And Nyx was hungry so I left the social worker and Nesta alone to get him breakfast. I came back and she’s gone and Nesta is second-guessing our relationship. She asked if I’m just fucking her out of convenience.”

The thought made him sick to his stomach, almost as badly as it hurt his heart.

“And you replied with…” Azriel began, trailing off, waiting for Cassian to finish the sentence.

“I went for a jog,” Cassian said, shrugging.

“So you ran away?” Azriel pushed.

Cassian shot him a look. “No. I went for a jog.”

Azriel sighed. “And when you came back?”

“She said she needed space,” Cassian said, emptying his bottle.

Azriel set Seph on the floor with a plastic spatula, which she instantly start banging on the cabinets. “And that’s when you ran away?”

“I didn’t run,” Cassian snapped. “I gave her what she wanted. I gave her space.”

Azriel slowly shook his head. “Did you even try to talk things out?”

“Yes,” Cassian said, the word clipped. “Told her I was falling in love with her, and guess how she replied?”

Azriel watched his brother.

“Didn’t say a fucking word,” Cassian finished.

When Azriel didn’t speak, he walked back to the trash can, dropping the bottle inside.

“Quit looking at me like I’m the bad guy here,” he said, unable to turn around and look his brother in the eye. “She was ending it. She was calling things off and I’m supposed to, what? Just keep living there like we were before? Pretend nothing has changed?” He swallowed hard, willing the damn tears clouding his vision to fade. They wouldn’t. “She didn’t even ask me to stay.”

Azriel sighed, opening a cabinet beside the fridge that Seph couldn’t reach. He produced a bottle of whiskey and set it on the counter. “I can’t drink until Elain gets home. And I absolutely think you need to talk to Nesta, but I think you’re right. You need to stay here tonight. Give her space.”

Cassian blinked, and a tear that was holding on slid free, down his cheek. He angrily wiped it away. He felt ridiculous, but it had been a long time since he had told a woman that he loved her. He’d never said it in his adulthood. A couple times in his teens, before he knew what the word really meant, but never as an adult.

He’d said it.

He’d meant it.

And she hadn’t felt the same.

Cassian nodded and poured himself a glass of whiskey.

*

Nesta stared at Cassian’s contact on her phone screen.

She wanted to press the call button, but didn’t.

She did open a blank text a few times, but couldn’t type anything.

She didn’t know what to think, didn’t know what to do.

She knew what she wanted.

She wanted Cassian.

But, she didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.

She had never been one who was dependent on a man, had spent most of her twenties single and having no problem with it. But suddenly, she couldn’t imagine her day to day life without Cassian in it. And that terrified her.

She heard murmuring on the baby monitor sitting next to her on the side table and glanced over to see Nyx sitting up in his crib.

It had been nearly three hours since Cassian left, and aside from putting Nyx down for a nap, Nesta had barely moved. She still sat in the same spot on the couch she’d been in when the social worker had shown up and when she’d ignored that Cassian had said that he loved her.

The words should have filled her with joy and she should have screamed from the rooftops that she loved him, too. Instead she locked up and thought she was going to be sick.

What was wrong with her?

Wiping away the tears she didn’t even realize had fallen, Nesta hurried up the stairs, and into Nyx’s nursery. He reached for her the moment he saw her, his own big, blue eyes beginning to fill with tears.

“What’s wrong, bubba?” She cooed, resting his head against her shoulder.

After a deep sigh, he looked up at her and reached for a tear that had fallen down her cheek. His lip began to wobble.

“I’m okay,” Nesta promised, even though her voice cracked and those tears continued. “I’m okay, buddy, I promise.”

Nyx knew, though.

He knew something wasn’t right.

He knew Cassian was gone.

He knew Nesta was heartbroken.

Little did he know that her heartbreak was self-inflicted.

Nyx laid his head back on her shoulder and clung to her. He stayed like that as she walked back downstairs and sat back in her spot on the couch.

He held onto her, looking around the room. She knew he was looking for him and was about to tell him he wasn’t here when he spoke. The word wasn’t a mash up of noises like it had always been. No, it was a true and steady word. His first word.

“Dada?”

Nesta froze. She didn’t even know what to say. Should she tell him Cassian wasn’t his father? He probably wouldn’t even understand, just like he didn’t understand where Rhys and Feyre had gone.

But…for all intents and purposes, Cassian was his daddy now. And she was his mama.

So she pressed a kiss to his dark hair and whispered. “He had to leave, baby. He had to go for a little while.”

Nesta hoped and prayed that Cassian would walk back through that door, and yet, she couldn’t muster the courage to ask him to.

That night, instead of Cassian taking up the spot next to her, it was Nyx, who held her hand until they both fell asleep.

#snacmc lawki #life as we know it #lawki #snacmc collab #snelbz tacmc collab #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf #nessian #nesta #cassian

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 17}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Saturdays. Occasional surprise chapters could be posted at miscellaneous times. Chapters will be posted on both my and Tara’s blogs! >> @tacmc.​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

It had been a long day.

They hadn’t done jack shit, but a long day nonetheless, thanks to the run in with Tomas.

After eating lunch, Cassian had taken Nyx out to the pool, letting him float around in his little inner tube and splash in the water. He kept a close eye on him and he wasn’t sure he’d heard so many giggles from the little dude in months.

Not even fifteen minutes after they’d come out, Nesta decided to join them, though it wasn’t to play and splash like Nyx. No, she brought a book hat, and tanning oil, but Nyx squealed his delight when he saw her regardless.

After some goading and thinly veiled threats to splash her smutty book if she didn’t get in, Nesta relented and Nyx had the time of his life.

Until he got chlorine in his eye and had a meltdown.

Just like that, pool time was over, and after taking him inside and getting changed, Cassian was lounging on the couch while Nyx played on the floor.

Nesta started up the stairs and said, “I think I’m going to take a bath. Relax from…earlier.”

From that piece of shit Tomas and the things he’d said. Cassian wished he’d of at least said something, but he most wished he’d have throttled him.

Cassian simply nodded and Nesta was off, hurrying up the stairs and shimmying out of her bikini once she closed herself inside of the master bathroom.

She hadn’t been in the warm water with her eyes closed for five minutes before a horrid sound came from downstairs.

One word screamed at the top of Cassian’s lungs, her name.

“NESTA!”

For a moment, she thought she had imagined it. But, then he screamed again.

“NESTA!”

She shot up in the tub and was about to yell back, when she heard, “COME QUICK!”

Panic rose in the pit of her stomach as she jumped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around her wet body as she threw open the bathroom door. “I’m coming! I’m coming! What happened?! What’s wrong?!”

“Come on, come on, come on!” Cassian yelled, but it wasn’t fear in his voice - only excitement. “Hurry, before you miss him!”

Nesta rounded the top of the stairs, and froze. A few feet in front of Cassian, on his own two feet, was Nyx, taking slow, steady steps toward his uncle.

Her feet carried her down the stairs in a flash and she was next to Cassian, on her knees, just like he was. At the appearance of his aunt, he grinned, those angelic cheeks rounding out and reached for her.

And he tumbled down.

“Shit,” Cassian muttered and lifted him back onto his unsteady feet, praying they weren’t about to have more tears. But the dark blue eyes that gazed up at him were not tear-filled, just wide and curious as always.

Taking a few more tentative steps, he reached them, leaning into Cassian, but a hand reaching out to take Nesta’s as he animatedly spoke in his own baby language.

“Good job, bubba,” Nesta cried, hoisting him up into her arms and crushing him in a hug. “Such a big boy.”

Nyx giggled and wiggled to be put down.

He wasn’t done just yet.

His feet hit the ground and he was off. He walked from Nesta to Cassian then back again. Every time he fell down, he got right back up and kept on moving.

“Look at you go, buddy,” Cassian laughed, catching Nyx as he made it to him.

“Think he’ll sleep good tonight?” Nesta asked, watching them both with a smile on her face.

“I hope so,” he chuckled, letting Nyx pat him on the face, grinning up at him.

He meandered back across the room, plopping down at his toys and began playing again.

“And I guess we’re done with that,” he laughed, standing up and shaking his head. “He finally walked.”

“Sixteen months,” she sighed, propping a hip on the side of the couch. “I was starting to think he’d never do it.”

“Me either,” he said, sitting down. He glanced up at her—and froze.

He’d completely forgotten she was wearing nothing but a towel.

“Didn’t we have a rule about coming down here nude?” Cassian asked, under his breath.

Nesta’s eyes darted to his. “Pardon?”

His eyebrows raised and he gestured to her towel, and Nesta looked down, as if she had completely forgotten that she was wearing it, too. “Oh, shit, sorry. I was in such a hurry to come downstairs-.”

“I mean, I don’t blame you-.”

“I could’ve put on something-.”

“I was screaming your name-.”

“Screaming my name,” Nesta repeated, her cheeks heating. Last time Cassian had screamed her name, it had been under very, very different context.

Although, she had been wearing little to nothing then, too.

The memories flashed through her mind, and from the way Cassian was watching her, she assumed that they were flashing through his, too.

She watched as his throat bobbed and his eyes left hers, dragging down her body as if he couldn’t stop himself. He met her gaze again and she felt her cheeks heating. Her cheeks, her ears, her neck, her entire body heated under that gaze.

“I’m going to…” She hooked a thumb over her shoulder, towards the stairs. “Finish my bath, I guess.”

“Right,” Cassian replied, his eyes still on her. “I’ll put him down in just a few minutes.”

She glanced over at the baby as she backed up toward the stairs. Nyx was indeed starting to rub his eyes, and noticing Nesta’s attention on him, he yawned and reached for her.

Before she could cross the room, Cassian was on his feet and picking Nyx up.

“I can take him,” she protested, but he shook his head, not looking at her.

“You go relax. I’ve got him.”

Nesta cleared her throat and nodded, convincing herself to say nothing more as she hurried up the stairs, clinging to her towel.

She settled back into the bath, even though the water had chilled.

She couldn’t control her breathing.

She thought of that time when he’d caught her in the bath before, right after they had moved in, when he caught her doing intimate things with herself, alone.

Then she thought of the immense amount of pleasure that he’d given her, and how nothing and no one had ever compared to it.

Her heart began to beat a little bit faster, and a throbbing formed between her thighs.

She wondered if Cassian ever caught himself thinking about it, if he ever wanted to do it again.

Judging by the look in his eyes downstairs, the intense way he had been watching her…

Nesta pulled herself out of the tub.

She dressed and pulled her hair into a ponytail atop her head, but couldn’t decide if going downstairs would be a good or bad idea. She couldn’t decide if being around him right now was a smart decision, not when the thoughts in her head were so distracting she couldn’t even focus on the laundry she had neglected to fold for a few days.

Her phone vibrated where she’d plugged it in on her nightstand and Balthazar’s name lit up the screen.

That was another reason she couldn’t allow herself to entertain the thoughts constantly running through her head. She and Bal weren’t in a relationship, they were in no way exclusive and hadn’t had that conversation, but Nesta wasn’t the type to date—or in this case, sleep with—two men at once.

She could hear Cassian down in the living room again, no doubt cleaning up Nyx’s toys and settling down with a beer. She wanted to join him, wanted to curl up on the other side if the couch with a glass of wine and listen to him commentate whatever stupid show or game he was watching.

But she knew that wasn’t a good idea.

So she laid down on her bed, grabbed the book from her nightstand, and read until all of those emotions that Cassian made her feel faded into the back of her mind where she told them to stay.

*

The next morning, Cassian was on Nyx duty. Since he had the day off, the nanny didn’t have to come, which meant bro time.

First, they went for a jog along the Sidra where both Nyx and Cassian got their fair share of looks from the ladies. Turns out a cute kid was a great way to gain the attention of beautiful women.

On the way back home, Cassian decided to make a detour for some lunch, and ended up pushing the jogging stroller right into Nesta’s restaurant.

He knew where it was, and knew that Nesta was a damn good cook, but somehow, he hadn’t visited the restaurant in the over four months they’d been living together.

It was packed, to absolutely no surprise and when he walked in, he was greeted by an amazing array of delicious smells. Quickly realizing the stroller was going to be a hindrance, he parked it in the corner by the door and held Nyx as he made his way into one of the sitting areas.

“It’s open seating, so please, sit where you like.”

Cassian turned as a deep voice spoke from behind him. The man was watching him, and when he turned, his eyes fell on Nyx. Recognition lit them up for a moment, Nesta having brought Nyx into the restaurant more than once.

“Thanks. Is Nesta free?”

“Last I saw, she was helping out in the kitchen, but I’ll check. Take a seat and I’ll be back.”

Cassian nodded and the man was gone, disappearing through a swinging door to the back.

Indeed, Nesta was manning the grill, an assortment of sandwiches, meats, pancakes and other items sizzling around her. She was reading order tickets and communicating with her line cooks, and everything was exactly as it should be.

Until Helion was leaning on the wall next to her.

She groaned. “Tell me it’s not the lady who claims to find a hair in her food every time she’s here.”

The patron in question was in the dining room, a brunch buffet spread out before her and her friends. Her curly, red hair was piled on top of her head and without fail, she always seemed to find a lone, red, curling hair in her dishes, no matter what she ate and who was in the kitchen. Even though Nesta had no one in her employment with curly, red hair.

“Oh, no,” Helion said, his smirk growing. “There’s a handsome man out front asking for you.”

Balthazar.

Nesta groaned. Even though she didn’t mean to. “Let him know I’m busy, but I’ll be out in just a minute.”

“It’s not him,” he replied, practically singing the words. “This one has a very cute baby with him.”

She was moving before he’d finished speaking, hollering at one of her cooks to take up her place on the line.

When she went into the dining room, Cassian was sitting in a booth, Nyx in a high chair at the end of the table next to him.

“What a pleasant surprise,” Nesta crooned as she approached.

Nyx’s head whipped around at the familiar voice as Cassian looked up from his menu. Nesta was lifting Nyx out of the high chair when Cassian said, “We were out and about. Someone was hungry.”

Nesta chuckled. “Was that someone you or the baby?”

“Fine,” Cassian said, grinning. “Two someones were hungry.”

Nesta snorted as she kissed Nyx’s cheek. “Couldn't have cleaned up before coming in here?” She asked, nodding to Cassian’s damp t-shirt.

He shrugged his shoulder. “This was on the way home. You should be glad we graced you with our presence.”

“Right,” she laughed softly, sitting Nyx back in the high chair and buckling him in. “Any idea what you want?”

He was flipping through the menu, and honestly, every damn thing he saw looked delicious. He smiled up at her. “Surprise us. I can’t choose.”

Smirking, she took his menu and said, “Chicken livers and brussel sprouts, coming right up.”

He rolled his eyes as she walked away, but she entered their order into the system and returned to the table, sitting down in the empty booth seat across from him.

“He have a good morning?” She asked, holding Nyx’s outstretched hand and letting him grip her thumb. He shook her hand as hard as he could and grinned up at her, babbling excitedly.

“Aside from the blow out he had this morning, I’d say so. Which he found very amusing that I had to clean up” Cassian chuckled, rolling his eyes. “This is the only kid who laughs while he’s covered in shit, I swear.”

Nesta shook her head, laughing softly.

Cassian took the chance to look around. “This place is great, Nes. The only thing it’s missing is a bar.”

Nesta looked around with him and nodded. “I’ve thought about it quite a bit. Don’t wanna mess with licensing. I’ve already got too much on my plate around here.”

Cassian cocked his head to the side. “You just gotta get someone to run the bar, that’s all. You don’t have to do everything on your own, you know.”

Nesta looked back to Cassian. “Someone like you?”

“Handsome, smart, with a high knowledge of what it takes to run a bar?” He asked. “Yeah, someone like me.”

She narrowed her eyes and nudged his shin with the toe of her shoe. “Don’t get too cocky. If you decide to leave your bar and want a new project… Sure, I’ll add a bar.”

Cassian blinked. “I can’t tell if you’re messing with me or not.”

Nesta shook her head. “I’m always serious.”

“At one time, I thought that was true,” Cassian muttered.

His shin got another nudge.

“I’m serious,” she repeated, with a quiet laugh. “Shockingly enough, you’d be one of the few people I trust to let into my management.”

He stayed quiet for a minute, long enough that she glanced at him from where she’d been looking at Nyx. He was chewing on his bottom lip and she had to physically restrain herself from reaching over and working it out from between his teeth. Feeling her attention on him, he looked at her, and said, “We’ll talk about it more at home, yeah?”

Nodding, Nesta replied, “Of course. But don’t just do it because I said something, I don’t want-.”

“I’ve actually been thinking about opening my own place for while,” he murmured, and then quickly added, “Not that this would be my place, it’s yours, of course. But I’ve got savings. I can help with any applications and licensing and renovations that need to be done. Not to mention, it would be an investment in a growing business. That always looks good in a portfolio.”

Nesta smiled. “Like you said, we’ll talk about it at home. I’m gonna go check on your food.”

“Please do,” Cassian said, waving her away. “I’m starving.”

With a roll of her eyes, she stood up and walked toward the kitchen, shoving Cassian’s sweaty head as she walked by him.

Helion was waiting by the kitchen doors. “Flirting, how cute. It’s like watching two horny teenagers.”

“Fuck off,” Nesta muttered.

Helion only grinned and followed her into the kitchen. “Admit it. You’ve got the hots for hot uncle.”

“I can fire you, you know,” Nesta said.

“You wouldn’t,” he said, right on her heels. “You’d be bored to death here without me.”

She didn’t need to bother telling him he was right. On either front.

*

Nesta was beat by the time she got off. It was an effort of will to make it home before she fell asleep, but as she parked her car in the driveway, she nearly sighed in relief. Cassian had said he’d handle dinner, so she knew that a glass of wine—and hopefully, an uninterrupted bath—was in her future.

She hadn’t expected to find Cassian on his hands and knees as soon as she came in the door.

He looked up at her, eyes wide and said, “Uh, hey. You’re home.”

“I am,” she replied, chuckling. “What are you doing?”

He hesitated before saying, “Playing hide and seek with Nyx.”

Nesta blinked. “Hide and-? Cassian, he’s one.”

“I left him on the floor with his toys and I went into the kitchen for thirty seconds to check on dinner,” he said, standing up.

She waited for him to go on, not understanding. And then her eyes widened. “You lost him?”

“He’s not lost,” he said, holding his hands up. “We’re playing hide and seek.”

“Cassian-.”

“He’s one, Nesta, he couldn’t have gone far-.”

“He walks now!” She cried, tossing her purse on the bench by the door and hurrying into the living room.

A giggle sounded from the other room, and they both sped around the corner where Nyx had made himself perfectly happy.

In the laundry room, Nyx sat in a pile of Nesta’s laundry, waving her underwear in the air.

As Nesta let out a relieved breath, Cassian chuckled. “Atta boy.”

Nesta whacked Cassian on the shoulder before picking Nyx up and freeing her panties from his grasp.

He immediately started crying.

“Way to take his toy away,” Cassian muttered.

Nesta shot him a look.

Cassian shrugged. “I would’ve cried, too.”

Nesta tried her best not to laugh, but failed. “You’re ridiculous.”

Cassian opened his mouth to reply, but the smoke alarm near the kitchen began to blare.

Nyx’s cries got louder and Nesta stopped Cassian, giving Nyx to him and hurried into the kitchen, pulling a pan of burnt French fries out of the oven and opened the back door and the door leading to the garage. She got a kitchen towel and was waving the smoky air away from the smoke alarm, and after a minute or two, the incessant blaring ceased.

Leaning back against the counter, she took a deep breath and looked at the doorway, finding Cassian standing there, Nyx still in his arms, though the tears had stopped. He was cringing, expecting her to start yelling any moment—.

But Nesta took one look at the charred French fries and started laughing. Deep, belly laughs that made her stomach hurt so badly she doubled over.

Cassian turned to the living room, getting Nyx set up in his playpen, and walked back into the kitchen, where Nesta was still laughing with her hands on her knees, trying to get air down.

“You find something funny, Archeron?” He asked, pausing in front of her. Even he was unable to stop the small smile on his face.

“French fries?” she asked, unable to catch her breath. “You— You burnt frozen french fries? How long have they been in there? Two hours?”

Cassian looked behind him at the clock on the stove and rubbed the back of his neck. “I like them crispy.”

“Oh, they’re crispy,” Nesta promised, straightening her back, small bouts of laughter still finding their way out. “They’re really damn crispy.”

“Shut up,” he muttered, shaking his head. He pulled a series of paper towels off the stovetop and revealed a tray of chicken nuggets and a pot of cooked broccoli. “At least I didn’t burn everything.”

“Chicken nuggets and broccoli?” she asked, her grin still wide. “Kids barely old enough to eat solids and we’re already having kid dinners?”

“Kid dinners?” Cassian repeated. “You’re lying your ass off if you’re telling me that you don’t enjoy a big ass plate of chicken nuggets.”

Nesta laughed, shaking her head. “They’re dinosaur shaped!”

“The dino ones taste better!” Cassian protested.

“We’ll see about that,” Nesta said, and just as she looked up at Cassian, she realized how close he’d stopped from her.

He couldn’t have been more than a foot away, but he felt much closer.

Nesta’s laughter died down, although that light feeling in the pit of her stomach remained.

One of his hands was braced on the counter she leaned on, and though he wasn’t caging her in, she couldn’t help but stare up at him.

“At least it’s not breakfast again,” she murmured, noting the way he was staring at her, too.

“You’ve never complained about my breakfast,” he said, swallowing roughly.

She tracked the way his Adam’s Apple bobbed. “Well, you’ve never burnt it, so.”

The corner of his mouth twitched and she knew he was trying his hardest not to smile. He opened his mouth to reply, but Nyx started talking from the other room, babbling and nonsense and baby language reaching them.

Cassian seemed to realize how close he stood to her and backed up a step, clearing his throat. “If you want to grab him, I’ll put some fresh fries in the oven.”

Nodding, Nesta said, “Yeah, of course.”

“I’m making them crispy, though,” he said, as she left.

Nesta snorted as she shook her head and lifted Nyx out of his pack n play. “Your uncle is nuts. Yes, he is.”

Nyx’s grin melted Nesta’s heart.

Forty minutes later, once the french fries were sufficiently crispy, the three of them were sitting at the table, eating dinner. Nesta didn’t mind it, not one bit, the fact that they sat there every night and ate together.

It was almost as if they were a family.

An odd, dysfunctional, interestingly beautiful family.

#snacmc lawki #snacmc collabs #life as we know it #lawki #snelbz tacmc collab #nessian #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acomaf #acowar #acofas #acosf

[snelbz]

Life As We Know It {Chapter 9}

Summary: After the sudden deaths of Nesta’s sister and Cassian’s best friend, they gain guardianship of their nephew, Nyx.

Based on Life As We Know It (2010) and a prompt sent in by anonymous for our Nessian fanfic contest. This is a modern au.

Instead of doing a tag list for this story, we have decided to have a set posting schedule. Chapters will be posted weekly on Mondays and Thursdays. Chapters will be posted on both my and Shelby’s blogs! >> @snelbz​

Life As We Know It Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist

A/N: SURPRISE. Enjoy this chapter a day early. I had my days wrong and legit thought it was Thursday, but since it was ready…. Y’all get to enjoy the spoils of my frazzled brain. 😘

Nesta waited with Nyx in the waiting room of the pediatric office.

His rash didn’t seem to be bothering him much, but she wanted to get ahead of it before it became a problem. He was absolutely enamored with the TV playing a bright children’s show in the corner, and Nesta couldn’t help but smile down at him as she checked her email.

The usual stuff greeted her, some open catering order invoices for the restaurant, a few wayward resumes from high school kids that had managed to get her personal email, and, of course, spam.

“Nyx?”

Nesta’s head shot up, and Nyx began looking around, wondering who had called his name. Nesta was instantly on her feet, pushing Nyx’s stroller toward the door that the nurse held open.

She smiled. “Hello, Nyx.”

Nyx babbled in greeting.

The nurse chuckled. “Such a cute little guy. You’re Nesta, I assume?”

“I am,” Nesta confirmed. “I’ve not been here before. It’s a nice office.”

The small talk went on. Nesta had never been a fan of small talk, of polite pleasantries.

It just made her feel awkward.

Nyx didn’t seem to mind. He just kept babbling and babbling and babbling, without a care in the world.

The nurse led them into a room and she checked Nyx’s height and weight before telling them that the doctor would be there shortly.

Nesta had picked Nyx up, looking around at all the educational posters on the walls, when a quick knock sounded on the door and a man cracked open the door.

Nesta blinked once as he stepped inside, not expecting the tall, muscled man that appeared in front of her.

“You must be Nesta,” he said, extending his hand. “I’m Dr. Kamaras.”

This man was Nyx’s pediatrician? She had known that Nyx’s doctor was male, Feyre had mentioned him in some stories a few times, but Nesta had always pictured an elderly man.

Not this sculpted, handsome man, who could easily graced the cover of one of the ridiculous smutty books she kept well hidden in her bedroom.

She shook his hand, finally remembering how to speak. “Yes, I am, it’s nice to meet you.”

Very nice to meet you, she added in her head.

His face sombered. “I was very sorry to hear about Rhys and Feyre. They were great people.”

And just like that, Nesta was back on earth, holding her sister’s son in her arms, standing where her sister should have been. She tried to keep her smiling from dimming, but she cleared her throat. “Thank you. It’s…been an adjustment.”

As if they both remembered why they were here, Dr. Karamas blinked and said, “Yes, Nyx, right. You told the nurse he has a rash of some sort?”

“It’s just a diaper rash but it seems to be getting infected,” Nesta explained. “I’ve tried a few different things but nothing seems to be working.”

“Ah,” he said, nodding. “Well, let’s take a look.”

Dr. Karamas took one glance and whistled. “Definitely infected. I’m going to give you a steroid cream. Put it on after every diaper change. It should clear up within the week.”

Nesta let loose a breath. “Oh, great, thank you.”

“Absolutely,” he smiled.

He had a nice smile.

He scribbled something down on his clipboard, signed it, and handed it to Nesta. “The number on the bottom is my office number. If you have any other concerns, no matter how small, give it a call.”

Nesta looked at Nyx’s prescription and the number that was beneath it, along with his name.

Balthazar Karamas.

“Thank you, Dr. Karamas,” Nesta said, and she meant it. She was still new at this, and every little medical thing concerned her.

If it wasn’t normal, she was freaking the fuck out.

“Bal, please,” he said, taking her hand again, shaking it. At the look on her face, he added, “I work with kids. They do better on a familiar name basis than with titles like doctor and mister.”

She nodded, smiling. “Bal, then.”

Nesta was getting Nyx resituated in his stroller in the waiting room, about to head back out into the bright sunlight, when she felt someone approach. She wasn’t expecting to find Balthazar standing a few feet away. She quickly checked the stroller, making sure she had her purse, the diaper bag, and, of course, Nyx himself. “Did I forget something?” She asked, finding everything exactly where it was supposed to be.

“No, no, it’s not that,” he said, pausing in front of her. “I just…can’t shake the feeling that I know you from somewhere.”

It was strange, since Nesta felt the same way.

“You’re not Illyrian,” he said, and it wasn’t a question, nor was it rude. Just an assumption. She only knew of a few other Illyrians in the area, and Balthazar definitely had the same coloring as Cassian and Az. And Rhys used to have. She, pale skinned and blue eyed, certainly did not.

“I’m not,” she said, at last.

Bal chuckled.

That smile, yet again, had her toes curling.

“Interesting,” he said, that smile remaining. “Well, maybe we can figure out just where we’ve run into each other before...over lunch this weekend?”

Nesta blinked. A date?

“Not a date,” he said, quickly, reading her mind. “I would never ask the aunt of my patient on a date. That would be incredibly unprofessional.” Nesta laughed. “Just…two acquaintances figuring out where they were previously acquainted.”

“Lunch sounds nice,” Nesta said, unable to shake her own smile. “Saturday, then?”

“Saturday,” Bal agreed.

They set up a time and place and then Nesta was out the door.

*

Cassian’s day had been as long as it was the day before. It seemed that the teenagers visiting Velaris had gotten the message from their friends that Cassian’s bar was checking every single ID of every single drink that was ordered. So instead of being slammed and busy and frustrated the whole day, he had been bored out of his mind.

He’d gone through his inventory sheets twice, ordering anything they might remotely run out of in the next few weeks.

It didn’t help that Kallias had the day off, covering the evening shift tonight, leaving him alone with his thoughts all day.

And those thoughts constantly reminded him that he’d been an absolute dick to Nesta the night before.

As he drove home, he contemplated the apology he needed to make.

Although Cassian believed his intentions were typically good, apologizing wasn’t one of his strengths. He ran through what he’d say a hundred times, had come up with an unbearable amount of ways in which he could apologize, but everything he thought of wasn’t good enough.

He knew Nesta well enough to know when she would laugh in his face.

He’d come up with about fifteen different scenarios of how this could go by the time he pulled into the driveway, parking next to her little car. He took a deep breath before unlocking the front door and letting himself in.

The house was quiet, neither Nesta or Nyx were anywhere to be found. It was barely six-thirty, but he knew Nesta was taking Nyx to the doctor earlier in the day, which may have tired him out so thoroughly that he was already down for the night. A peek into his cracked bedroom door confirmed it, his little hand curled next his face as he slept.

When he finally tracked down Nesta, on the back patio, her feet propped up in a lounge chair, he definitely hadn’t expected to find her with a bottle of wine. Or what was left of it, at least.

The mostly empty bottle of wine sat next to the baby monitor.

He cleared his throat, announcing his presence.

Nesta’s sigh was the only acknowledgement she showed.

“Everything alright?” He asked.

She shrugged and took a sip from her glass.

“Bad day?” He continued.

She shrugged again.

“Is this the silent treatment?” He asked.

“I assume you’d know,” she said.

Cassian began rubbing his temples. “Look, Nesta-.”

“I’m a little busy if you don’t mind,” she continued. “I prefer to relax alone.”

“This is my house, too,” he said, shutting the sliding door behind him as he made his way onto the patio. “What if I want to sit out here with you?”

“Then I’d suggest continuing the silence,” she said, not looking at him, her face tilting back up to the sky, where it had been when he’d come outside.

So he sat down on a nearby lounge chair, and didn’t say a word.

Or he tried, but he didn’t last five minutes. The words that had building inside him all day needed to come out. He’d rehearsed different things he wanted to say, with reasons for why he was such an asshole, and promises to try and be better from now on. But as he looked over at her, the starlight on her face, all he could get out was, “I’m sorry.”

For a moment, Nesta said nothing. “About?”

“The way I acted last night,” he replied, keeping his eyes on the lawn. “It was uncalled for, and I’m sorry.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” she said, draining her glass.

Cassian’s eyes shot her direction. “I’m trying to apologize. You can at least accept my apology so we can move on.”

“Apologies mean nothing,” Nesta said, shrugging. “Words are meaningless.”

“Not mine,” Cassian argued. “I mean what I say.”

“Then you meant what you said last night?” Nesta pushed.

Cassian’s lips snapped shut and his jaw hardened. “No.”

“So, you’re a liar, then?” Nesta asked.

He groaned in frustration. “You’re infuriating.”

She didn’t deign to reply to that.

He took a deep breath. “I’m sorry I was an asshole last night. I was…embarrassed about how you found me the night before. I don’t… I don’t like to be seen like that.” He paused, but then he held a hand out in between them. “Not- not that that happens often. I mean, I don’t make a habit of having emotional breakdowns.”

She didn’t say anything. Just stared at him.

He cleared his throat again, remembering little things he had felt badly about through the day. “Nesta, I’m sorry I acted like an ass. I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate the dinner you made me. I was rude as hell and you did nothing to deserve it.”

After a second, she glanced away, out over the pool. He figured she wasn’t going to reply, and he stood, heading back for the back door.

He had slid the door open and was halfway inside when she said, “If you’re hungry, I made lasagna for dinner. It should still be warm on the stove.”

He turned back and found a hint of a smile on her face. “Thanks, Nes.”

*

A continuation of his apology, Cassian had told Nesta he'd be on baby duty for the rest of the night, waking Nyx up for his bottle, granting her leave to do whatever she wanted. She elected to finish off the bottle of wine, open another, and relax in the bathtub with a book.

The book of choice was definitely not appropriate to read in front of Nyx.

Or Cassian, for that matter.

She had appreciated his apology, even though a part of her still wanted to be pissed. There were very few things that agitated her more than male bravado, and Cassian was the spitting image of it. Embarrassed because he was emotional? Please. Get the fuck over it.

Then again, she could say that all day, but in honesty, if the positions were reversed, she would have reacted very, very similarly.

If not worse.

Nesta had always felt too much, far more than either of her sisters. It wasn’t like they were robots, of course. Elain had a bigger heart than anyone Nesta had ever known, and Feyre had been a light to be around.

But, Nesta…

She felt it all, and she felt it far too deeply. She had learned long ago to shut those emotions off, to let them go, to not let her emotions show. They could just be used as a weakness.

And she found life worked better that way.

There was a soft knock on the bathroom door.

Nesta sat up straight, even though the door was locked, in a sudden panic over the fact that she was nude and reading smut.

“Yeah?”

“Nyx is going to bed,” he said. “Just thought you’d want to say goodnight.”

“I- Ah- Just a minute,” she called, setting the book down and reaching down to grab for her towel. She was out and damn near opened the door in just her towel again, but remembered their agreed upon rules. She snatched her robe, wrapping it around herself, towel and all.

She opened the door, Cassian standing just by her bed, and Nyx had his head resting on his shoulder, rubbing his little eyes.

The image was so pure and innocent that Nesta couldn’t stop herself from taking a few steps towards them, reaching out to brush her fingers down Nyx’s soft cheek. “Sweet dreams, buddy,” she breathed, leaning up to press a kiss to his forehead.

She regretted it almost immediately, as bringing herself that close in Nyx also inadvertently brought her to Cassian. His heady, nutmeg-and-campfire scent enveloping her, reminding her of the morning she’d come downstairs and found him as naked as she was now. She stepped back quickly, clearing her throat. “And goodnight to you, Cassian,” she murmured. She pointed back behind her towards the bathtub, towards her book, and said, “I’m going to read a little longer and then go to bed myself.”

He nodded. “Alright, I’ll see you in the morning. Goodnight, Nes.”

The nickname didn’t bother her as much as it previously had, she realized as he made his way back out of her room, shutting the door behind him.

She didn’t let herself think about that, did her best not to think about him, as she sunk back into the warm water.

*

Nyx had gone down easily for Cassian, for the first time ever, thanks to the frozen toy he’d gnawed on to relieve the pain of his incoming tooth. He’d decided he deserved a treat, too, after that, and had sat down to watch the hockey game, a beer in hand.

Fifteen minutes later, there was a knock at the front door.

Cassian paused, glancing down at his watch, seeing that it was pushing nine o’clock. He stood, after a second knock sounded, making his way to the door. He opened it to find a woman dressed in a suit on the other side. “Can I help you?”

“Mr. Nazari, I assume?” She asked, extending her hand.

He took it, on instinct, shaking it, but he blinked. He repeated, “Yeah… Can I help you?”

Her brows twitched together. “My name is Alis Birch. I’m with social services.”

Cassian continued to shake her hand, staring.

“The courts told you we’d be making random visits to check in on Nyx,” she continued.

Oh, fuck, Cassian thought. Oh, fucking hell.

They’d completely forgotten about those random visits, in the past few weeks they’d been doing this, distracted by getting used to not only being parents, but getting used to each other as well.

“I see,” Cassian said, nodding. “I… I’ll…be right back.”

“I’d like to come in-.”

Cassian shut the door, quickly set his beer on the table in the entryway, and hauled ass upstairs.

He threw open the door to Nesta’s bedroom, only to found it empty, so he continued on, throwing open the bathroom door.

Where Nesta was still in the tub, completely nude, a book in hand, one hand disappeared beneath the water. Her head was thrown back in utter ecstasy.

Until Cassian barged in, anyway.

“Shit!” he yelled, just as Nesta gasped and sent the water sloshing out of the tub, over the porcelain edges.

Cassian quickly shut the door behind him, closing them into the bathroom together, and put his face in his hands. “Sorry!”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she yelled, and he could hear her pulling the plug.

“It’s important, I swear,” he said, his voice muffled by his hands.

“If the house isn’t on fire or Nyx isn’t dying, it’s not important,” she cried, ducking behind the walls of the tub.

“It’s pretty fucking important,” he said, turning to give her a semblance of privacy. He heard her stand up, water moving and quiet dripping, before her feet landed on the rug outside the tub. “The social worker is here.”

She froze and he dared a look back at her. Thankfully, she was wrapped in her towel again, one arm pushed through her robe. “The social worker is here? Now?” He nodded, and she looked at the nearly empty bottle of wine next to the glass on the small table by the tub. It was the second one she’d had that night. “But it’s late,” she protested.

“It’s a random, surprise visit,” he replied. “I left her outside, but-.”

“You didn’t let her in?” Nesta demanded, eyes widening. “Cauldron, Cass, that makes us look so guilty.”

He blinked. “Of what?”

“I don’t know,” she said, throwing her hands in the air. “But it doesn’t make us look good.”

“Well, I didn’t know what to do,” he sighed, exasperatedly. “I sure as hell wasn’t expecting to come up here and find you doing that.” He gestured to the tub.

Nesta’s cheeks heated. He figured his own were going to permanently be the shade of red they were now.

No, that was the last thing he ever expected to catch Nesta doing.

“Just… Go let her in and stall her while I get dressed,” she sighed, crossing her arms, waiting for him to leave.

Cassian hesitated, then nodded, and hurried back down the stairs. When he reopened the front door, Alis Birch stood there. Her expression was hard, intimidating.

Cassian could feel himself sweat.

He prayed that Nesta somehow sobered up and got the fuck downstairs, because there was no way in hell he could do this without her.

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