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waitmyturtles · 9 months

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Turtles Catches Up With Old GMMTV: I Told Sunset About You (ITSAY) Edition

[What’s going on here? After joining Tumblr and discovering Thai BLs through KinnPorsche in 2022, I began watching GMMTV’s new offerings -- and realized that I had a lot of history to catch up on, to appreciate the more recent works that I was delving into. From tropes to BL frameworks, what we’re watching now hails from somewhere, and I’m learning about Thai BL's history through what I’m calling the Old GMMTV Challenge (OGMMTVC). Starting with recommendations from @absolutebl on their post regarding how GMMTV is correcting for its mistakes with its shows today, I’ve made an expansive list to get me through a condensed history of essential/classic/significant Thai BLs produced by GMMTV and many other BL studios. My watchlist, pasted below, lists what I’ve watched and what’s upcoming, along with the reviews I’ve written so far. Today, in a long post, I work my way through Nadao Bangkok’s cinematic motherlode: ITSAY. Thanks to everyone for your patience with this post: I did major due diligence with it, with the absolutely TREMENDOUS help of @telomeke, @lurkingshan, @wen-kexing-apologist, and @bengiyo to ensure I had facts and analysis correct. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to these dear friends for holding me down and offering your sharp eyes.]

To dive into a topic as complicated, as beautiful, as reflective, as impactful as a macro-analysis of I Told Sunset About You is to take on...a lot. As I’ve discussed with @lurkingshan, from a filmmaking perspective, as so many of us who have watched ITSAY know -- it occupies the top spot of Thai BLs by way of pure cinematic quality. (If you follow my late-night liveblogs, you’ll know that this was the first show -- not even Bad Buddy did this to me -- where I needed to stop multitasking, to just sit and watch the episodes. No drama has done that for me in the years since I became a multitasking mom.)

As with 2gether and Still 2gether last week, this watch of ITSAY is a definite milestone on the OGMMTVC list, and I really thank @shortpplfedup, @bengiyo, @wen-kexing-apologist, @lurkingshan, @telomeke, and others in advance for what we’ve talked about in direct conversation regarding ITSAY, its many influential tentacles, and the influences that the show itself may have come from.

I’d like to touch upon a couple of frames to structure this piece, but the caveat here is that by no way will I consider myself an ITSAY expert, because there’s a tremendous fandom that knows much more about the Nadao Bangkok studio, about PP Krit and Billkin Putthipong, about the director and screenwriter, Boss Naruebet, and much more. I will have a substantial postscript to capture loose notes and learnings that didn’t make it into the main analysis.

Inspired in part by direct conversations with @telomeke and @lurkingshan, I’d like to dive into the following:

1) From a question that @lurkingshan posed to me: what shows from the start of the OGMMTVC watchlist -- and, more broadly, what art out there -- do I think spoke to ITSAY and its development, 2) The important story of Chinese migration to locations like Phuket, Penang (in Malaysia), and other locations on the Malay Peninsula, and how Chinese and Thai-Malay-Chinese-Peranakan cultures flavored ITSAY’s storytelling, 3) A discussion of internal and external homophobia on Teh’s experience, and how his conversation with Hoon encapsulated our understanding of homophobia, filial piety, and socioeconomic pressures in Teh’s particular life, timeline, and culture,

and more, I’m sure. Let’s boogie.

I warned some folks prior to this review that my thoughts on what may have spoken to ITSAY may turn some people off, so I offer this as a flare to y’all in advance. Acknowledging that episodes three and four of ITSAY were as emotional as anything I had ever seen in Asian BLs, Teh was just such a PERFECTLY written character. (The ITSAY supporting documentary episodes state that the show was in part inspired by Billkin’s and PP’s personal lives, and I know there’s fanon that the show was meant to deeply depict their personal stories with each other. I don’t have primary source material to point to regarding this, so I’ll leave it alone, with the understanding that there are interpretations of the show that read between the lines to bring that lens in. I acknowledge the existence of the theories, but will not dive into that here.)

So, in regards to Teh, as I chatted with @lurkingshan as I was watching the series, I just kept thinking to myself... hello, Fuse.

CHAOS BOYS! (Fire Boys? No, no, chaos boys, ha.)

This is where I think my analytical read might get a little controversial with folks, because to compare Make It Right to ITSAY -- from a LOOKS perspective, CERTAINLY from a storyline and narrative structure perspective -- no, it’s not there, not by a long shot.

But when I wonder about what ENERGIES and inspirations opened the door for Boss Narubet to WRITE the way that he wrote, and to DIRECT the way that he directed, Teh’s ENTIRE EMOTIONAL PROCESS AND BREAKDOWNS, his back-and-forth, his hesitations -- I saw chaos, and when I think of chaos, I think of Fuse.

I think of Fuse, and how Fuse was held back, particularly in Make It Right 2, regarding Fuse’s CULTURAL AND SOCIAL ASSUMPTION that he couldn’t break up with his girlfriend, all while being in a nascent give-and-take, back-and-forth relationship with Tee. And how that ASSUMPTION held BACK the full expression of commitment, honesty, and trust that Fuse and Tee ended up having at the end of MIR2. Fuse was being rather unsophisticated while he was struggling with this, and he was bringing Tee along, frustratingly, for that ride.

Something that you said to me also really resonated, @bengiyo, in conversation with @lurkingshan, about comparing TeeFuse and TehOh, in that Fuse and Teh weren’t necessarily SPARKLING or GIFTED presences. As you two both pointed out to me: Teh had to work much, much harder than Oh-aew for the talents that Teh achieved, and somehow, chaotically, he managed to lose his grip on those talents and achievements as he gave up his hard-earned opportunities for the sake of the overall-better-off Oh-aew. MESSY, BRO.

Besides MIR/MIR2, there’s somewhere else where I saw chaos. @bengiyo, you pointed out to me that you felt that you saw more of Thai queer cinema in ITSAY than in BL. I don’t think ITSAY *doesn’t* speak to BL and vice versa (I don’t think there’s anyone who thinks that, considering what Nadao Bangkok achieved with this show), but when I think of chaos -- and of the structures of storytelling that allowed us to get such an in-depth experience of Teh -- I also think of 2019′s Dew the Movie, and to a different extent, the before-its-time show in 2019′s He’s Coming To Me.

ITSAY, Dew, and HCTM have:

a) multiple chaotic leads (including actual ghosts and dudes who see ghosts), b) overarching cultural backgrounds rooted in extremely specific Asian cultures and/or practices and/or time periods, and c) interplays of emotional revelations vis à vis those specific cultural backgrounds.

- Fuse introduced to us, way back in 2016 and 2017, an internal holding back of an emotional engagement with Tee that was rooted in internal homophobia by way of his negotiation with what Fuse’s girlfriend expected of him, and what HE expected of HIMSELF regarding HAVING a girlfriend, while falling in love with a young man.

- Dew featured two young men in chaos, in 1990s rural Thailand, one of whom (Dew) who had previously lived in a different city where, likely, his sexual orientation would not have been met with such dystopic scrutiny as it did in the movie. The movie made clear that Dew wanted a solid relationship with Phop, but with both Dew’s and Phop’s families and cultural expectations holding them back, they both met untimely and unfortunate ends that hammered, in extremes, the perils, in cinema, of being gay and out in an incredibly restrictive and old-fashioned Asian society.

- HCTM featured a young man (Thun) who could see ghosts, along with the ghost that he ends up falling in love with (Med). The revelation of Thun’s being able to see Med is deeply connected to Thun’s Thai-Chinese Buddhist practices, and how his family has engaged with spirituality over the course of his life. While the structure of the show has often been described as having a happy ending, I argue the opposite -- that the ending is left open-ended, as it so often is in some of P’Aof Noppharnach’s shows, with the assumed understanding on behalf of an Asian audience that Med will one day be reborn and will leave Thun’s side (unless he’s reborn into another person that knows Thun) (hello, Until We Meet Again).

So what do all of these shows/movies -- ITSAY, Make It Right/MIR2, Dew, and HCTM -- have in common?

ITSAY, Dew, and HCTM have the common background of an old-fashioned culture serving as a MAJOR anchor to their stories. Their stories are leveraged by the micro-level, individual-level interplay between their main characters and old-fashioned worlds, complete with old-fashioned notions, assumptions, and expectations. ITSAY, Dew, and HCTM negotiate boundaries with these cultural guardrails, and we see -- Teh at the end of episode 4, Thun on the rooftop in episode 5, Dew talking to his mother -- what those expectations and boundaries have done internally to our dear young men.

Make It Right’s Fuse, way back in 2016, internalized this slightly differently, without us seeing as deeply the WORLD in which he grew up. The directors and screenwriters New Siwaj and Cheewin Thanamin gave us a guy in school with a girlfriend. FUSE’S world, that we see, is a school world, so apropos for that time of Thai BLs, complete with very heterosexual expectations for a young man WITH a girlfriend. And Fuse struggles with his push-and-pull throughout the two seasons.

What I love about the OGMMTVC project is that by having watched these projects before ITSAY, I can somewhat predict what the journey of chaos, by way of internal revelation, will be for these characters.

However.

What ITSAY DESTROYED for me, as compared to these dramas and movies, was the high level of acting that Billkin leveraged to get Teh to the emotional levels that he reached. Teh, episode 4, and Thun, episode 5 = handshakes.

This is where ITSAY’s structure just brings ITSAY to the top of the cinematic list and runs away from everything else. I posted in my liveblogging that the ending of episode 3 blew me away with a subversion of the four-act structure of screenwriting. @bengiyo corrected me to say that it was, instead, a rare example of Thai BLs achieving a successful five-act structure.

Just -- fuck.

You combine this UTTERLY FUCKING BRILLIANT STORYTELLING STRUCTURE, NARRATIVE STRUCTURING PAR FUCKING EXCELLENCE, ALONG WITH BILLKIN’S PORTRAYAL OF TEH IN HEAT AND CHAOS, and I’m eating, fam. Five-star Michelin tasting menu-level.

But before I start that meal, there’s even more that ITSAY did to really hammer in what I’m referencing by way of the anchors of old-fashioned culture to this story, which, clearly, Boss and Nadao Bangkok value, in the show’s indirect commentary on Chinese culture and migration in Thailand, and what it meant for Teh and Oh-aew to grow up in Phuket and prepare to leave for Bangkok. (If you haven’t watched ITSAY, I highly recommend that you plan on watching the supplementary documentary material, because those docs give a ton of insight into the Thai-Malay-Chinese background of the show. As a SE Asian homey, those revelations gave me the wonderful warm and familiar vibes.)

Dear @telomeke (I don’t know what I’d do without you, friend!) helped me to understand, back in my HCTM days, that I inherently know more about Chinese migration, immigration, and culture into Southeast Asia than I previously gave myself credit for as a part-Malaysian, because many of the migratory patterns and cultural assimilations are similar between Thailand and Malaysia. I appreciated that confirmation, and had my inspector’s hat on during my watch and rewatch of ITSAY.

I’ve spoken with @lurkingshan and @neuroticbookworm about the impact of migration and diasporic existence, in that, I think, oftentimes, immigrants to another country often hold a more conservative view of the cultures they bring with them -- in order to hold onto the tenets of those cultures, and to keep those tenets from getting influenced or maybe even watered down by the new environment in which immigrants are living. (My example to Shan and NBW was that I find that South Asian immigrants are often MORE conservative than my relatives in my homelands -- so as to keep a tight grip on assimilation, or, say, moral/ethical weakening by way of Western culture.)

I think the background of Phuket and EVERYTHING it lent to the show...

- Teh’s mom selling Hokkien mee at a stall storefront and the boys eating it in Teh’s old-fashioned house, - The old-fashioned o-aew dessert shop, selling a Hokkien Chinese dessert, which is often preceded by a shot of the “Phuket Old Town” sign, - Teh’s mom’s traditional Chinese-Peranakan outfits, particularly when she’s celebrating Teh and Hoon’s successes, - The tight streets and alleys,

...all of it, visually and culturally, reminded us that the boys live in a world that was DEEPLY INFLUENCED by the way back when. I posit that Teh’s mom is the encapsulation of this kind of old-fashioned culture, from the architectural style of her Hokkien mee stall, to the clothes she wears, to the heavy decorations and rugs and furniture of her old-fashioned house -- to her old-fashioned notions of filial piety that both her sons will be successful and will help to take care of her as she ages. I posit that this old-fashioned mindset also likely led Teh to believe that Teh’s mom would not accept him for liking men, which I will delve into more in a bit.

I mentioned cultural assimilation earlier: I brought up Penang, Malaysia, earlier, because I’ve spent time in Penang -- and Penang was referenced by Boss in the ITSAY documentaries as being similar to Phuket by way of cultural structure. @telomeke educated me on the tin-trade-influenced links from Phuket to the Malaysian towns of Penang and Kuala Lumpur, all towns that experienced heavy immigration from China and feature the strong presence of Chinese-Malay-Peranakan cultures in their social fabrics. The Peranakan population developed when the first Chinese immigrants to these regions began marrying the local ethnic Thai and Malay residents, creating a brand-new culture, complete with unique foods, clothing, architecture, and much more.

Having not been to Phuket yet, I believe Boss. As well, I want to note -- very important to me as a part-Malaysian -- that Boss referenced Teh’s nickname as the Malay word for tea. @telomeke noted for me this distinction as one that’s notable for how ITSAY differentiates the culture within the show -- again, a culture that’s influenced by Chinese and Malay migratory history -- against the backdrop of Bangkok, where tea is not “teh,” but rather is called “cha,” the Thai word for tea. [The most famous “teh” drink of Malaysia is teh tarik, a sweet, creamy, and strong tea drink that you see everywhere in Malaysia. While o-aew is a distinctly Chinese-style dessert, teh tarik comes from Indian immigrants to Malaysia (and is usually drunk with roti canai, another Indian import to Malaysia)].

In other words: we are talking a TREMENDOUS, a TREMENDOUS amount of references to cultural mixing, development, and assimilation here, all INTENTIONALLY placed by Boss Narubet and his screenwriting team -- and all of this serving as a reflection against what Teh and Oh-aew will experience as being “different” in their futures in Bangkok, where this Thai-Chinese-Malay cultural differential will make them different when they get to college. (Not having seen I Promised You The Moon yet, I wonder if IPYTM sets up Teh and Oh-aew as potential country mice, à la Ji Hyun and Joon Pyo in The Eighth Sense.)

One more pertinent note of cultural intermixing by way of the historical Thai-Chinese-Malay linkages. @bengiyo was surprised that I didn’t initially exclaim at the presence of hijab- and songkok-clad Muslim women and men eating at Teh’s mom’s Hokkien mee stall; Teh and Oh-aew’s friend, Phillip, is also shown with his Muslim parents. It’s funny, @bengiyo, as I said to you: because I was watching ITSAY with such a trained eye towards spotting the Thai-Chinese-Malay cultural mixing, seeing Muslims on screen did NOT ring a bell of differentials because -- I expect to see them there, in those kinds of spaces, anyway. (In fact, seeing Muslims on Thai television is rare, which I will get into more in the postscript.)

So we have: MANY CULTURES MIXING OVER MANY GENERATIONS. Migratory patterns intertwining. Indications of physical and emotional movement. And even though, and even DESPITE, these cultures mixing, we ALSO HAVE an OVERARCHING message of old-fashioned customs and ways of living that dominate the lives of the children in the show -- ESPECIALLY Teh. Teh and Oh-aew -- literally, their NAMES reference places ELSEWHERE than Phuket and Thailand. Phuket’s old-fashioned roots. Teh’s mom SELLS a dish that comes from somewhere else (the Hokkien Chinese population mostly hails from Fujian, China, as its origin).

What happens with migration and immigration? Cultures collide and combine -- social mores and expectations change -- one’s standards of HOW TO LIVE ONE’S LIFE changes.

Teh and Oh-aew, during the entire series, are facing a moment in time where THEIR lives, THEIR cultures, THEIR micro-interactions WITH THEIR cultures, ARE GOING TO CHANGE, definitively, by way of their burgeoning same-sex relationship. Teh and Oh-aew are already different in Thailand by way of their cultural backgrounds, as I’ve established -- and now, with a potential public revelation of their relationship, will they be even more different. And their families -- especially Teh’s mom, but Oh-aew’s family as well -- are going to collide with the very PRESENT present vis à vis their boys and their love.

As this happens with migration and immigration, CHANGE WILL HAPPEN vis à vis Teh and Oh-aew’s queer revelations as well.

Boss focused on the aspects of Phuket that were anchors to the culture that Teh and Oh-aew were raised in -- an immigrant culture, a migrant culture from China, that has had a long hold over many, many towns and societies in Thailand. We didn’t see the modern 7-11s that we know are there in Phuket, serving the tourists of these towns.

And, just like the physical dystopia of Dew, and even vis à vis the spiritual practices built into He’s Coming To Me, the slice of Old Town Phuket that we SAW as that anchor was a HEAVY PRESENCE in Teh’s life -- it was PERFECTLY matched with the old-fashioned, conservative ANGER and DISAPPOINTMENT that we saw in Teh’s mom in episode 4, when Teh shares that he dropped out of university for Oh-aew. That anchor, to me, was meant to SMASH into, FEED into Teh’s overwhelming emotionality at his queer revelation, and at the revelation that serving his mother via filial piety would be automatically made more difficult, thus maximizing the impact of his internalized homophobia and his fear of recognizing his love and attraction for Oh-aew.

COUPLE THAT with the previous hints -- and then the SMASHING WRECKING BALL -- of the visual depths of Oh-aew’s own realizations earlier in episode 4, his own internally different place, the way he reveals himself to the world vis à vis the fast Instagram post of him wearing the red bra. And how Teh reacts to it. And how it sets off such an unreal chain of emotional unraveling for Teh, the SECOND of that episode, even before he goes to Bangkok to drop out.

WHOA.

THIS, TO ME WAS FUCKING STUNNING

and very important to me to see as a South/Southeast Asian. WHEW.

And, good lord. How Hoon comes in at the end for Teh. Hoon, the eldest son, the one who has very quietly borne the financial responsibility that his mom, Teh’s mom, too, has placed on Hoon’s shoulders, naturally, through generations of family custom. (Super duper thanks to @lurkingshan for talking me through this in detail with me.)

And Hoon gives his family, his little bro, Teh, comfort. How Hoon says, listen. Mom’s gonna be mad if and when you tell her about Oh-aew and your feelings for me. But guess what? She’s gonna come around. You’re a crybaby, Teh, but I’m here for you.

Hoon knows that Teh’s mom will come around -- because Hoon is also a part of the next generation of change, much like his Thai-Malay-Chinese-Peranakan community before him -- as he brings his Japanese girlfriend home to his mother and brother. (THANK YOU, @wen-kexing-apologist, for pointing this out!)

Teh’s mom, too, will move. She will move from her old-fashioned mindset, to migrate to a new mindset, where she will accept her son. Teh needed to hear that, to know that that movement would be possible.

Just like the movement of the many swirling cultures around Teh and Oh-aew, the hustle of Bangkok before them, nipping at their lives like the ocean to the beach.

What ITSAY captured for me was a cinematic moment of movement on so many levels. It was a pulsating reflection of change. It was meant and designed to insidiously shock viewers out of complacency. Like a beanstalk climbing from the ground, the movement begot movement to these two young men beginning to address and empty themselves of the homophobia that kept them back, Teh especially.

GAH, THEIR MOVING PHYSICALITY, IT NEVER STOPPED -- the end of episode 2 on the boat, the end of episode 3 in Teh’s room, GAWD -- Teh’s ABSOLUTE HORMONAL DRUNKENNESS, Oh-aew’s STARE AFTER STARE AFTER STARE, Oh-aew’s SILENT DEVASTATION AT THE END OF EPISODE 3, the way Teh would nod and FLOP his head uncontrollably in desire, the nuzzles, the sniffs, the uncontrolled reaches -- GAH. It gives me the shivers.

It was a lot.

ITSAY was just -- y’all know it. It was fantastic. While HCTM was before its time, I feel that ITSAY was RIGHT ON TIME. It brought so many elements of this GORGEOUS, HISTORIC, culturally Southeast Asian experience into the intersection of the queer lens, as well as the *migratory* lens of the Southeast Asian region specifically. It showed us, from a micro-perspective, the very tremendous macro-level implications and pressures of filial piety, of internalized homophobia, of the huge socioeconomic expectations that families have on Asian students to succeed in education, and so much more. IT WAS *DEFINITIVELY INTERSECTIONAL*, MORE SO THAN ANY BL BEFORE ITS TIME.

Yet again, for me, just like Bad Buddy, just like Until We Meet Again, I have another show in my arsenal that makes me proud to be an Asian watching these shows -- and in ITSAY, I feel particularly proud that a slice of my own personal culture, as an Malaysian, made it in there, intentionally. I will FOREVER, and ever, be grateful to ITSAY for that.

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I’d like to offer this postscript as a means of making some quick points that @telomeke, @bengiyo, @lurkingshan, and @wen-kexing-apologist shared with me as I was writing this review -- and I thank them all deeply for reading drafts of this post before publication.

1) I was previously unaware of the history and current state of Islamic culture in Thailand until ITSAY and Be My Favorite included women wearing hijabs in their shows. This is an important slice of culture for me to know about, as I’m part-Malaysian, where Islam is the dominant religion. @telomeke shared with me that the majority Muslim population in Thailand is in southern Thailand (although, of course, Muslims live across Thailand), and that there have historically been separatist efforts in those southern provinces that have often led to violence.

There are many reasons why discrimination of Muslims exist in Thailand, as it does around the world, including references to the separatist efforts in the southern provinces. As well, ethnic Thais can trace their heritage back to various towns and communities within China, thus possibly making northern Thailand, with its proximity to China, potentially more lauded in Thai culture, and contributing even more to a perception that southern Thailand, with its Muslim population, as potentially “less desirable.” (And I want to take a second to note @telomeke‘s excellent point to me that “Chinese” as a catch-all word is often incomplete, as Han Chinese make up a sizable portion of Thailand’s population, but as we see in ITSAY, the Hokkien Chinese population also flourishes in certain parts of the country, and there are populations of Teochew and Hakka Chinese as well, as there are in Malaysia.)

All of this combined -- the geographic proximities to China, the places where various populations have settled, from the places that various populations of Thais track their heritages, plus global and/or popular misconceptions and stereotypes of “other” communities -- can contribute to discrimination of Muslims in Thailand. Of course, that is not a universal statement, as we do see Muslims beginning to show up in Thai drama art, which is heartening. To me, it strikes me as more realistic for the region to see Muslims on screen, but I don’t know Thailand well enough to say that for sure (that’s my Malaysian-side talking). I really want to thank @telomeke for taking me on SUCH a deep dive with insight into this part of Thai culture that I think is very necessary and fascinating. (Politics in Thailand is quite complicated at the moment, but at this very second, Thailand’s current Parliament speaker, from the Move Forward party, is Thai Muslim, with a Malay Muslim name -- Wan Muhamed Noor Matha. Very cool, but this is going to change soon, as Move Forward will make way for another political party to take control of the government.)

2) If you know me well enough, I cannot leave food well enough alone in our wonderful dramas (exhibit A: Moonlight Chicken and khao man gai, exhibit B: coffee/kopi in The Promise, lol), and I want to make sure that we were all aware back in 2020, and/or make you aware now, that Hokkien mee is a VERY regional dish, with styles unique to each town in which it is famous. @telomeke, I know you feel differently, but Hokkien mee from Kuala Lumpur (KL), Malaysia is my.... it’s my heaven, my soul, my heart, HA!

Here’s some linkies to get you educated. And also! Oh-aew prefers his Hokkien mee with rice vermicelli noodles, instead of the usual, thicker egg noodles. You know what I like to do if I see that a stall has the two styles of noodles available: I like to get them mixed together. Hokkien mee, Hokkien prawn mee noodle soup, curry laksa -- I like the best of both worlds of noodles in my bowl. YUM.

Phuket Hokkien mee KL Hokkien mee Penang Hokkien mee (this one is the prawn noodle soup, not the fried noodles -- omfg so good) Singapore Hokkien mee (note the lighter color -- and the m’fing mix of thick and thin noodles, hell yeah!)

(If you made it this far in the ITSAY review, I have an easter egg for you. Guess what the Malay name is for rice vermicelli noodles? Bee hoon or mee hoon.

Hoon and Teh, two Malay names: thin noodles and tea. What Teh’s mom serves at her stall, and what Teh and Oh-aew represent, symbolically, by names and their noodle preferences, as a pairing. AND! @telomeke gave me one more easter egg! Teh O is a popular way to order tea in Malaysia and Singapore. It’s black tea with sugar, no milk. Another pairing reference. ITSAY never stopped with all the layered references!)

[WHEW! What a ride. Thanks to all y’all who held me down during my losing-it liveblogging of ITSAY. More to come when I get to Last Twilight in Phuket and I Promised You The Moon.

Next week, I’ll release my review of YYY into the wild -- listen, honestly. Yes, chaos, confusion, all of it. But I am not writing this show totally off. There was definitely stuff in it to chew on. And: POPPY RATCHAPONG. And Pee Peerawich. The acting was actually stacked on this show. There’s stuff! More soon.

And I also finished Manner of Death, so that review will drop in two weeks. I LOVE MAXTUL. UNABASHEDLY. Yes, I know I’m years late, yes, I know Tul is retired, sobs. Let me live my 2021 dreams! These guys are so good together, and MoD was fuckin’ great.

I have so much good stuff on the way: I’m fully in my ATOTS rewatch, and I’ve added 55:15 Never Too Late, very specifically its BL storyline. I may not give 55:15 a full review because I’ll fast-watch the rest of it, but: Khao, come to me, boo-boo! I have an INSANE August ahead of me as I’ll be moving in a month (GAH), but hopefully this schedule won’t fall back too much.

Status of the listy! Hit me up if you have feedback!

1) Love Sick and Love Sick 2 (2014 and 2015) (review here) 2) Make It Right (2016) (review here) 3) SOTUS (2016-2017) (review here) 4) Make It Right 2 (2017) (review here) 5) Together With Me (2017) (review here) 6) SOTUS S/Our Skyy x SOTUS (2017-2018) (review here) 7) Love By Chance (2018) (review here) 8) Kiss Me Again: PeteKao cuts (2018) (no review) 9) He’s Coming To Me (2019) (review here) 10) Dark Blue Kiss (2019) and Our Skyy x Kiss Me Again (2018) (review here) 11) TharnType (2019-2020) (review here) 12) Senior Secret Love: Puppy Honey (OffGun BL cuts) (2016 and 2017) (no review) 13) Theory of Love (2019) (review here) 14) 3 Will Be Free (2019) (not a BL or an official part of the OGMMTVC watchlist, but an important harbinger of things to come in 2019 and beyond re: Jojo Tichakorn pushing queer content in non-BLs) (review here) 15) Dew the Movie (2019) (review here) 16) Until We Meet Again (2019-2020) (review here) 17) 2gether (2020) and Still 2gether (2020) (review here) 18) I Told Sunset About You (2020) 19) YYY (2020, out of chronological order) (review coming) 20) Manner of Death (2020-2021) (not a true BL, but a MaxTul queer/gay romance set within a genre-based show that likely influenced Not Me and KinnPorsche) (review coming) 21) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) (review here) 22) A Tale of Thousand Stars (2021) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake Of Rewatching Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (watching) 23) Lovely Writer (2021) 24) Last Twilight in Phuket (2021) (the mini-special before IPYTM) 25) I Promised You the Moon (2021) 26) Not Me (2021-2022) 27) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) (thesis here) 28) 55:15 Never Too Late (2021-2022) (not a BL, but a GMMTV drama that features a macro BL storyline about shipper culture and the BL industry) 29) Bad Buddy (2021-2022) and Our Skyy 2 x BBS x ATOTS (2023) OGMMTVC Rewatch 30) Secret Crush On You (2022) [watching for Cheewin’s trajectory of studying queer joy from Make It Right (high school), to SCOY (college), to Bed Friend (working adults)] 31) KinnPorsche (2022) (tag here) 32) KinnPorsche (2022) OGMMTVC Fastest Rewatch Known To Humankind For The Sake of Re-Analyzing the KP Cultural Zeitgeist 33) The Eclipse (2022) (tag here) 34) GAP (2022-2023) (Thailand’s first GL) 35) My School President (2022-2023) and Our Skyy 2 x My School President (2023) 36) Moonlight Chicken (2023) (tag here) 37) Bed Friend (2023) (tag here) (Cheewin’s latest show, depicting a queer joy journey among working adults)]

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philsrosesweatshirt · 1 month

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dnp movie analysis p2: genres, studios, franchises

thanks everyone for enabling me <3 i'm back with some more analysis by genre, franchise, and studio!

genre ratings

first, genre ratings (genre is kinda arbitrary here, tbh; there's a lot of overlap!)

here we have the first table (please tumblr don't mess with the quality) (i can post the excel sheets if needed; r tables were being a pita)

here we have the number, mean (= median for all of this analysis), minimum, and maximum ratings by genre. within each statistic, i've highlighted the minimum (light) and maximum (dark) for dan (blue) and phil for genres with >1 movie (just realized i fucked up western, ignore that lmao)

phil has watched the most horror (64) and dan mostly sci-fi (53). interestingly, but presumably because of their love for these genres, each of their minimum scores went to these genres. if you watch a lot of one type of movie, you're gonna find the duds.

both of them liked christmas movies (tbh this was like, home alone, so), with their highest minimum and mean ratings being for that category (nostalgia, i assume because like, same). lowest mean scores were for superhero movies (both) and mystery (phil). for both of them, marvel was pretty all over the place (we'll get into that in a sec), so that's not super surprising.

their highest minimum scores were both given to war movies, which is a little surprising but this include movies like 1917 and dunkirk which are ~critically acclaimed~, so makes some sense. their minimum max scores went to westerns and mysteries for dan, and musicals, mysteries, and biopics for phil.

here are the histograms/bar charts for genres. these aren't the prettiest tbh, and i excluded some that had only one or two movies / weren't very interesting. without delving deep into the data, you can see how their preferences play out especially in horror and sci-fi, where phil has more highly-rated horror movies (partly because he's rated more) and dan has a lot of highly-rated sci-fi (but also low ratings). you also see how superhero movies are pretty middling -- there's almost a normal distribution! (not really, but sort of!). romance too. there's in general a lot of left skew here -- they like to rate movies highly.

final genre analysis is number of movies in one genre rated by one and not the other. i'm so sorry this table is so long.

i highlighted here the top three genres one has watched without the other. again we see phil likes his horror (and as i said in my last post, a fair amount of these movies were watched when dan was on tour, and this doesn't even include the guillermo del toro's cabinet of curiosities episodes he rated), but also thrillers (similar!) and comedies (which i get; i love to put a comedy on in the background). unsuprisingly, dan's watched a lot of sci-fi without phil, but also horror and comedy. in general, though, his genres are more distributed.

next, studios/franchises!

again, i've highlighted the maximum and minimum in each column, only for franchises. both of them really like ghibli, and dan likes disney more than phil (though i think this is missing big hero 6 now that i'm looking at it again, because dan rated that lower). that's theatre kid behavior: the 4.5 was beauty and the beast, all pixar and aladdin and so on were highly rated.

i fucked up the matrix somehow so just ignore that -- they both gave matrix sequels low scores

turning to franchises, phil is a harry potter hater (valid at this point). but loves lord of the rings. so does dan, though his dan's ratings actually skew pretty high for franchises in general (see: his maximum scores for each franchise are 4.5 or 5); he can pretend to be alternative or whatever but he's still a millennial at heart. their minimums minimums are both for star wars (sequels!) and marvel, which, valid. phil's highest minimum is bond (there were only a couple rated) and dan's is the hunger games, but unlike phil he only rated thg and catching fire, not either mockingjay.

and bar charts!

i only picked the most interesting ones here as well. marvel follows a similar distribution to the superhero movies, which, since they each only rated a couple dc movies (and i didn't include nolan's batmans), makes sense. again they both rate lotr highly, but the hobbit was low. the studio ones are less interesting imo because they skew so far left, but again: dan is such a disney kid.

that's all i have! i love this because dan, for all his faux cynicism, just rates movies so highly + it's so often the movies that don't fit his curated doomer persona but moreso the pooh one. and also phil expressing opinions! phil just watching a lot of horror!! i love it.

#dnp #dan and phil #phan #dan howell #phil lester #also i am so sorry about accessibility; i can make these more accessible (sharing the spreadsheets?) if that's useful #also i have histograms separated into d and p if ppl want to see that instead of these ones which are a little confusing to see them both o #one chart but are also imo good for general trends/comparisons #tbh i think there's an issue with the musical ratings maybe too because the shape here suggests there's no overlap in ratings but they def #both rated at least the greatest showman...#the yapping. is because i was raised by dan.

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dentonic-offical · 2 months

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If you liked any of The Adventure Zone stuff before but fell off you need to check out TAZ VS DRACULA

Have you ever imagined what it would be like to listen in on a home game of a Family who have been playing DND consitently with eachother for almost 6 YEARS? That is what TAZ: Drac is like i will share more specific examples below under a page break to spare your dashes

But for anyone who dropped off at balance because "they can never get better than that"

Each TAZ: Drac episode starts with a monolouge from Dracula and then the intro theme is a gothic metal cover of the balance theme (Deja Vu by Mort Garsen)

As for those examples i mentioned:

Griffin is having fun DMing a campy horror world with such characters as Wolfman, Doctor Frankinstien and Robert Halloween

Justin is having fun getting 200% in character as an old aristocratic women who got frankenstiened on top of a classic DND barbarian

Travis is having fun being the guy thats good at stuff as last of his lineage from generations of monster hunters

And clint is having fun being a unpredictable goofball as a Preist Artificer with a checkered past

And i feel like griffin is really leaning into everyones strengths well

He Gives Justin insane character moments (no spoilers but to quote travis from episode 7 "i have never seen justin so thrilled by a turn of events in DND before"

Beefing Travis up with a bunch of "you have trained your whole life as a monster hunter your so good at this" moments

And not shutting down any of clints galaxy brain moments (there was one that organically turned into the cliff hanger of the episode because it was so wild they needed a break in episodes to talk through it 🤣)

Its quality actual play content

Thank you for coming to my ted talk

#the adventure zone #dentonic©️®️™️#the adventure zone vs dracula #taz dracula #taz drac #the adventure zone balance #taz balance

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pray4byron · 3 months

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Hello! I saw you were doing match-ups for Hazbin Hotel and wanted to give it a whirl!

I'm AFAB, and use she/her pronouns. I do have a preference for males, but I wouldn't mind being paired with one of the female characters in the show.

Personality wise... I'm an introvert and do prefer time to myself, but I love hanging out with my friends and family immensely. I hold them very closely to my heart and would do A LOT for them. I'm a music lover and have a preference for rock/alternative music. I'm also a bit of a smart-ass and can't stand bs, lol. I will gently call people out for being hurtful or dumb, or both. I also have a soft spot for animals of all kinds. They literally deserve the world. 😫

My style is more casual and comfy?? Like leggings, sweatpants, fuzzy socks, a nice fitting tank top, with a hoodie or sweater on. I have been wanting to get into more styles like Y2K Grunge and Goth, but haven't found pieces that would fit me. (I'm a bit curvy and have a hard time finding stuff that won't suffocate me)

My main love languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service. I just love the idea of making food together or doing chores while listening to some music. Singing along, either seriously or goofily, lol.

My hobbies are mainly daydreaming, singing and dancing, and listening to music. I used to draw but haven't in YEARS. I have thought about getting back into it, but am kind of apprehensive about it. It just brings back a lot of anxiety.

My interests are as stated above, along with history. I love learning about different eras and about different parts of the world. I also like to talk about philosophies and converse about different perspectives people have and why.

As for name stuff, I won't add my name here, but I do love when the people I'm close to give me nicknames. It makes me feel special and warm and fuzzy. ❤️

Appearance wise... I'm a medium brunette, with gray hairs, that goes past my shoulders, but I have recently been wearing it up with hair clips. I have light blue eyes. I'm 5 foot, 5 inches. I also have a bit of chub, thick thighs, and am a DD. (If I could get a back and shoulder massage, that would be great, lol. And I would also LOVE if my partner buried/laid their face on my chest while we cuddle. It would be the BEST feeling)

Thank you for taking your time if you get to this, and take care of yourself!

i knew right off the bat who i was doing lol, you’re paired with…

Vox !!

Vox loves your introverted-ness, it’s a contrast to his life that’s mostly spent on set or through a screen, his time with you feels so much more real, cause more often than not it’s just you and him, also your comfy style makes him feel very safe and at home haha

Vox also loves your smart-ass self, and it’s fun when he gets to be a smart ass back, you both kinda just go back and forth yk?

Vox will definitely dedicate an episode of his show to talk about at least one of your interests, whether or not you catch on though is debatable…

Despite the fact you’d most likely much rather stay in bed, he’d really want you to pop on his show, not just for the status of saying he has a partner, when he sees you sing and dance around the living room as you sweep the floor he thinks your pretty fucking talented, pretty screen-worthy tbh, and if you can’t do that, at least maybe draw something? He just doesn’t wanna see all your talent go to waste, but he would never force you

Also while cuddling, his screen definitely goes into your chest and yk how the bottom of a laptop heats up a lot after being charged for a long time? Yeah it’s like that, but with his face, on top of your chest

#reqs open #x reader #mio’s writing ! ☆#mio’s matchups ! ☆#fanfiction #x y/n #x you #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel x y/n #hazbin hotel x you #vox x reader #vox hazbin #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel vox #vox

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writersblockedx · 1 year

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Loose Ends: Chapter Three

Chapter Three: Hope

Based off - Episode three Pairing - Joel Miller x Fem!Reader Warning - Angst! Mentions of death, implication of a miscarriage, alcohol, mentions of violence Words - 10K

A/n - I altered some of the structure of this episode to better fit in some other scenes but I hope still reads okay!

⇦ Previous Chapter Series Masterlist / Main Masterlist

2010 Of course, Joel was wary. Though, not so much because they had left the comforts of QZ or because any infected could be roaming around, but because they were going to go and meet people. People they didn't know. Well, Y/n knew them, had talked to one of them at least. And her being her, she chose to trust the man on the other side of the radio who promised ideas of trading and supplies they both needed.

It had taken a long time for Y/n to convince Joel. As it had Frank to convince Bill. "What'd you tell FEDRA you were doing?" Joel had asked, half way through their journey.

His hand on the wheel, his eyes taking glances between the road in front and the woman in the passenger seat. "That I needed a day off." She shrugged. "As far as they're concerned, we're having quality couple time in the apartment." The girl winked which only caused the man to roll his eyes. She giggled and it relaxed the air, "I promise, they're good people."

"If they're even telling the truth." Joel argued.

"I suppose we're about to find out."

As it turned out, they were telling the truth. The couple had boarded off what used to be a small town. It was as if Y/n and Joel had walked through a wormhole, transported to a time where a disease hadn't taken out most of humanity. They were severed lunch on porcelain plates with aged wine in expensive glasses.

Y/n savoured her last mouthfuls as a smile slipped to her lips. "I don't know if I've just been deprived of propper food for far too long, or this is truly just delicious."

Frank straightened his back, his wine hanging from his fingertips, "Didn't I tell you?"

"You must have been a cook before the outbreak, right?" Her palms cupped her chin as she leaned in, looking at Bill who had yet to say a word. Rather, he had just stared rather intensely between her and Joel, as if trying to work them out.

His only response was to put a gun to the table. The barrel was pointed to the man across from Bill, Joel. Yet Joel didn't tense at all. "Can you not?" Frank scolded, his hand hovering over Bill's as he seemed to calm for a moment. Frank reached for the wine bottle, topping up everyone's glasses. "But no, he wasn't a chef. Just a survivalist." He glanced to Bill. "Right? That's what you call it?"

He gave a nod; the first addition to the conversation the man had given. "I'm the same." Said Joel, not taking his gaze from Bill or his gun.

"What?" Frank uttered with a raised brow. "A survivalist? Paranoid? Schizophrenic?"

"I'm not schizophrenic." Bill said, though didn't deny the idea of being paranoid. Not that paranoia was such a bad thing in the midst of an apocalypse.

Y/n shifted in her chair, taking a sip of her wine before speaking, "Look, we get the gun, the paranoia, we do," She glanced to Joel who silently agreed. "But this place is incredible. The food incredible too. So thank you, both of you, for letting us into your home and giving the chance for us to start working together."

It was Frank who spoke first, to no surprise at all. "Of course." He sent a smile which Y/n returned. "And speaking of working together, why don't I show you around?"

The two were already standing from their chairs, "Definitely." Said Y/n.

"You two behave, alright?" He warned, looking between Bill, Joel and the gun which was still on the table.

Y/n's hands glided along Joel's shoulders, placing a soft kiss to his forehead before she left with Frank. The rest of the town was similar to their home. While still affected by the outbreak, the town was slick and clean. The plants were growing but the weeds were pulled. Most of the shops seemed tidy and only needed a fresh lick of paint until they looked as if nothing had changed.

Y/n couldn't help but swirl on her two feet, taking in this town which still held a white-picket-fence facade. "I just- I can't believe this place." She thought aloud as her gaze danced around the buildings.

"Bill was the one who did it all, made it possible." The other man explained. "It was me who just made things look pretty."

She settled on her feet once again and nudged Frank's shoulder, "Well, I think you both did an excellent job."

A moment passed as the pair wandered down the clean street. "You know he found me in a ditch." The girl peered over, a laugh at the tip of her tongue. "Well, a ditch he had dug himself. I think he saved me." The man went on, a wholesome grin held at his expression. "What about you? How'd you find that one back there?" He nodded to where they had walked from, where Joel and Bill were still having a tense dinner by the house.

A smile graced her lips just at the thought of him and the scowl she was certain he was wearing. "Oh, I saved him." She uttered before they turned and continued their walk. "He was a mess when I found him. Came into the medic building with a broken hand, I fixed it up for him. Though, it wasn't until we-" She stopped and squirmed, causing a chuckle from Frank.

He nodded in understanding, "Yeah."

And that gave her the prompt to continue, "He told me he had broken it punching a wall. I made a promise to myself then and there that even if we didn't get together, I'd still stick by him until he was okay." She explained.

"And is he okay now?" Frank asked in full sincerity.

Y/n shrugged as she thought on it, "I suppose some wounds heal, some become scars." She uttered and he agreed silently through his expression. "But in terms of this, the outside, infected, whatever, that he keeps me safe from."

There was an understanding hum from Frank, "Didn't know how to use a gun until Bill."

Y/n giggled at the similarities, "Me neither."

Frank came to a slow stop as they came towards one of the buildings. It was made of white wood as like the rest of the town, but had a pharmacy sign on the outside. "Take whatever you need, just leave some painkillers for when Bill drinks too much of that wine." Y/n wouldn't blame him; they didn't have anything like that back at the QZ.

"And whenever you need me-" She had started, but the man had been smooth to cut off her worries.

"I'll radio you." He nodded his head in agreement. "Might be nice to have someone who knows what they're doing. Don't think it'll be long until his liver gives in." The two chuckled before wandering into the pharmacy for Y/n to grab some of the supplies they were low on back in Boston.

They left with a bit more than medicine. Frank had given Y/n some of the female clothes they had no use for, some decent food and even a bottle of wine. She said her goodbyes to the couple knowing it wouldn't be the last time they saw each other.

"I told you they were good people." Y/n uttered as the two climbed back into the car. All that Joel gave in reply were some grunts. So she leaned over before he started the car, "You just hate that you were wrong and don't want to admit that you actually had a good time."

He sent a stern expression in response which had only made the smile at Y/n's lips grow twice as much. But he leaned in and mumbled against the small amount of air between them, "I always have a good time with you." With that, he leaned into her lips, savouring the sweet kiss.

When the man pulled away, that smile on Y/n's lips had yet to leave. "Such a romantic, Joel Miller." She had mocked, urging her giggles on more as he retracted back to the steering wheel.

"Shut up."

The woods were always bitter. The autumn trees didn't help in preventing the wind and the ground was crisp and uncomfortable to sit on. Joel had been adamant they stay near the river as it would have been easier to collect water, but that only meant their attempts for sleep were futile.

Y/n must have gathered at most an hour's sleep throughout the night. While Ellie must have gained a few, sleeping through the early hours with her head in Y/n's lap. Just as she was right now. It was Joel who made Y/n the most worried. She was certain he hadn't a wink of sleep, said nothing when the sun started raising and when Ellie began to stir, he stood from his place and walked off with the promise he would be back soon.

"What you thinking about?" Ellie wondered aloud, looking up at the worrisome woman.

She flashed a smile that was obviously forced as she said, "None of your business, little one."

Then she faked an obnoxious gasp, "Is it Joel?" She queried. "Are you worried about your ex-hubby?" Her own words were erupting chuckles that, considering the tense atmosphere, were definitely needed.

"I thought you were trying to get more sleep?" Y/n swiftly changed the topic.

She hummed, "Tormenting you is just more fun."

Another one of her giggles followed, stopping Y/n from noticing the heavy footsteps which welcomed Joel back. Both Ellie and Y/n went quiet; Y/n was certainly worried about him. But that wasn't because of their history, it was because he had lost someone close to him. Maybe Joel had expected himself to be fine and was pushing that onto himself, while the other two were waiting, almost willing for him to give in to the feeling they were sure was plaguing him.

Ellie pulled herself up from Y/n's lap, gazing at the silent man. "Do you want your jacket back?" She questioned holding up the material Joel had given her in the middle of the night when the air-dropped in temperature.

He shook his head, rummaging through his bag. Y/n's eyes trained over his body, lingering on his exposed hand. The one she had once fixed up for him. The one which was now bruised and black and urged Y/n's concern on further. "How's the hand?" She questioned.

He barely looked at her. "Fine."

Though, Y/n doubted it truly was fine. Anyone could look at his hand and tell you that it wasn't fine. "I can do it up for you agai-"

"It's fine." He snapped back but didn't raise his voice. Instead, it was stern and haunting as it shot through the bitter air.

Silence followed. Joel went back to his bag and Y/n felt a wave of regret passing; maybe she shouldn't have said anything. When Joel finally stopped rummaging through his bag, he leaned back, something wrapped in his hand. It wasn't until he threw it to Ellie that Y/n realised it was the last of a sandwich. And a starving Ellie didn't think twice about eating it.

Joel glanced to Y/n, holding up another piece of bread they hadn't bothered to eat. He raised a brow, quietly asking if she wanted it. Her head shook; they didn't know how long it would take to get to Bill and Frank's. "I don't like the woods." Ellie spoke aloud as her gaze danced around the trees above. "Too many bugs than I thought." She complained.

Y/n stood at that, walking over to Joel who was sorting out the supplies. He'd never ask for it, but she thought it best to help him. Ellie stayed comfy by the tree, and between chews she uttered, "I've been thinking about-"

"I don't want your sorries."

Y/n halted as she stared up from her own bag. "I wasn't gonna say I was sorry." Ellie argued as the man slung his backpack over his shoulder. "I was gonna say I've been thinking about what happened. Nobody made you, or Y/n or Tess take me." Her words slowed over the memory of Tess. "Nobody made you go along with this plan. You needed a truck battery or whatever and you made a choice. So don't blame me for something that isn't my fault."

Her defence was valid and it seemed enough for Joel as he nodded in return. The two girls did as he had, taking their bags and standing. She returned Joel's jacket and Y/n wandered if it were still right for her to be wearing the one which belonged to Tess. "How much longer?" Nagged Ellie.

Her and Joel shared a similar expression. "You're not gonna like it." Y/n told her.

Joel was the one to break the news: "Five hour hike."

"You alright with that?" Y/n checked.

But the young girl nodded in full confidence, "We can manage it." And if it were always that easy, they had simply got up and left in search of their next pitstop.

The journey was quiet. Ellie spoke but Joel never bothered responding. A lot of the conversation was fueled by Ellie's lack of awareness about this world outside the QZ. Y/n watched in awe as the innocent girl explored this nature she had always been deprived of. But there still lingered a hole, a haunting memory of Tess who had too fed into the young girl's wonders.

"You gone this way before?" She inquired, walking between Y/n and Joel.

Joel's eyes were kept trained in front of him. Even when Y/n glanced over at him, he didn't make an effort to glance back. "We used to." She answered as her gaze glistened down to the young, curious girl. "We normally came up in a car, used what's left of the roads."

"But this way is safe right?" She pressured.

Y/n's expression moulded into a cautious one, almost offended that Ellie would even think they would take her somewhere not safe without warning. "You think we'd risk it?"

Ellie didn't give an answer to that, instead, she continued on with her questions, "So no infected?"

"No infected." Y/n confirmed.

"Then what's he looking for?" She gestured over to Joel who had finally taken it upon himself to look back at the pair.

His glare was daunting and heavy, urging him to let out a sigh as he looked away. "People." His tone just like his glare: heavy, tired, worn out. So much so, it had sent shivers down Y/n's spine just at the sound.

Ellie didn't seem shaked by that idea as, like always, her questions piled on. "What about Bill and Frank? Are they nice?"

And as she had done for the last hour, Y/n answered them as to the best of her ability. "Yeah, Frank more than Bill, but they're good people."

A pause came. Y/n was certain it gave time for Ellie to wonder on more as more questions started falling from her lips. "How'd you get that scar on your forehead?" Y/n had looked back to the girl, finding her gaze centred on Joel. And the man did nothing but huff. "What? Is it something lame? Like you fell down the stairs?"

Y/n's eyes too clung over Joel, awaiting his answer. "I didn't fall down the stairs."

"Okay? So what then?" She pushed.

"Someone shot me and missed."

The young girl's face glistened, "See, that's cool!" She exclaimed. "Did you shoot back?"

He still seemed to refuse to look at Ellie. His eyes were following the trees and what could be hidden within them. "Yeah." He informed.

"You get him?" Her voice eager and hanging onto this story Joel obviously didn't want to tell.

"No, I missed too." Her face fell, obviously expecting more from him. "It happens more than you think."

A small chuckle slipped from her lips as she stared up at him, doe-eyed, "Because you suck at shooting? Or just like in general?" She asked.

His glare became firmer as he answered, "In general."

Ellie then peered over at Y/n, the same curious wonder speckled in her eyes, "What about you? Any cool scars?"

She shook her head lightly, "Not really."

"So you do?" Her eyes widened.

"None that have stories." That seemed to satisfy Ellie enough as she continued on. But Y/n felt another gaze on her. She lifted her head and there was a flicker of a shared glance between her and Joel.

Her mind's focus dwindled. As did her eyes. Y/n hadn't realised it, but she stared at the rifle in Joel's hand, the pistol tucked in the waistband of Y/n's jeans and the third pistol that clung to Joel's waist. "You know, I was thinking I should probabl-"

Y/n cut her off first, knowing where she was going, "Not happening." And her lips stayed sealed.

They turned the corner, meeting their half way point which Joel had planned. The sight of something other than woodland had build up Ellie's enthusiasm as she skipped in front of the two adults. "Cumberland Farms." She sung, reading what was left of the store sign.

He walked passed Ellie, instructing her, "Hang back a minute." Though, Y/n doubted that Ellie would listen. "I gotta grab some stuff I've stashed."

And as expected, Ellie didn't 'hang back'. In fact, she continued to follow Y/n and Joel. "Stashed? Why do you have stuff stashed here?" She interrogated.

Joel started walking quicker and thus, the other picked up their pace too. "You ask a lot of Goddamn questions."

Y/n chuckled and lifted her head to Joel, "You've only just noticed?"

They came up to the front of the decaying store and Joel slowed. He made no care to try and attempt to get Ellie to stay outside. Instead, he was silent as he swung the door open and it crackled. "So...are you gonna answer me or what?" Ellie pestered.

Once Joel knew it to be safe, he walked through. Thuds and cracks came from below as their feet stood on scatters of glass and trash which was left behind. "We hide supplies on routes in case we find ourselves short on gear." The man explained.

Y/n followed Joel down the first aisle, "Like we are now." She added.

"No way!" Y/n spun around, stopping her walk to find a gigantic grin plastered over the girl's lips. She was making a B-line to the other end of the store, her pupils glowing at the sight of the old 80s game machine. "You ever play this one? I had a friend who knew everything about this game. There's a character name Mileena who takes her mask off and she has monster teeth and then she swallows you whole and barfs out your bones!" She went on, that same excitement flushing through her tone.

Joel stared over at Y/n with raised brows, silently asking what was up with Ellie and the game. In response, Y/n could only shrug her shoulders before Joel shook his head and start searching the floor. His feet kicked against the rubbish which littered the floor but seemed to come out empty handed. "Joel?" Called Y/n, gaining only a grunt in response.

Ellie caught on to Y/n's line of thinking, "You forgot where you put the stuff didn't you?"

He looked up, gazing between the two and realising the little hope they had in him finding these supplies. "No." He said, ever so sure of himself. "I'm just zeroing in on it. It had been a couple years." He excused as he looked back and continued to shift through the ashy floor.

"Well then I'm gonna take a look around, see if there's anything good." Ellie announced, already walking further into the back of the store.

As Joel didn't bother to look up, Y/n did, "It's already all been picked over." She told her.

By no surprise, that hadn't stopped her. "Maybe. Maybe not" She mumbled before wandering into another room. "Is there anything bad in here?"

Joel still didn't look up but he came out with a reply, "Just you."

"Getting funnier." Ellie grumbled, going to turn before Y/n snapped at her.

"Hey." The girl turned back, rolling her eyes like the teenager she was becoming. "Don't do anything stupid, yeah?"

She nodded her head and mocked a salute in reply, "Yes, Ma'am!" And with that, she slipped into the other room as wonder consumed her thoughts and behaviour once more.

Y/n's pupils lingered until her figure faded into the shadows. Only then did she turn around to face Joel who had opened a cupboard to find it empty. "Fuck." He had whispered in hopes the woman hadn't over heard him.

Alas, when he peaked back at her, he found her arms crossed and her brow raised. "You can't remember can you?" She was well aware of the answer. She had been well aware of the answer for the last five minutes.

He huffed as he retracted from the storage cupboard, "No, I can't." He muttered and moved onto the further end of the aisle.

Y/n followed after him. All she did was brush her fingertips over his and it caused a stir. He snapped around and snatched his hand away. His eyes seemed wary of the touch he had been so deprived of. So much so, he seemed scared of that touch now. "Joel," She uttered his name so softly it had helped him calm. "Just let me help."

They both were aware that statement was in reference to everything else, not just helping him find this box of supplies. And maybe his reply was too in reference to all them other things which had burdened him, "Okay." He nodded his head slowly and she followed him in searching the rest of the floor. "It might over this way," He was pointed over to another storage container, leaning over as he reached to open it. "But I don't know if it was- Fuck!"

Y/n jolted, she hadn't realised what had happened until she noted the way Joel was clenching his hand. His broken hand. "Shit, Joel." She hushed. She jumped over the littered floor, her tender hands wrapped around his broken one. Her gaze glanced back at the container and the fresh blood which was scattered across it's rusted edges. "Sit, now." She ordered, her eyes stern when he looked back, not wanting to entertain what was about to happen. "Joel just do what I fucking say for once, how bout that?"

He huffed but tumbled over towards the end of the store, sitting with his back against what used to be a freezer. Y/n crouched down, throwing her bag in front of her. She shifted through it, locating some cloth and tape to patch the man up. She went to touch his hand once more which had only made him jump. "Joel," Her tone was suddenly soft. "I meant what I said, let me help."

It took him a moment. His gaze lifting between her hand and her expression. But, alas, he put out his hand and Y/n took a gentle hold over it. She placed over the new cloth, putting his fingers in place before tying it and taping it together. Yet, her hands lingered for a moment. "I know it's not my place to-"

"You're right, it's not." He grunted in response as he snatched his hand back to himself.

Her head lowered but she stayed crouched in front of him. A moment passed in which the girl plunked the courage to speak her mind, "You can't do this again Joel." His eyes snapped to her, wide at the idea that she had even thought to say this. "You can't hide away and pretend nothing has happened. You're allowed to feel, Joel. You're allowed to ask and accept help. Otherwise, it will eat you whole. I wo- I won't let you do it again."

When Joel gave no argument, she shuffled, sitting next to him. "She was wrong you know." The girl thought aloud and he peered over at her. "Tess. You and her weren't bad people, you just had bad things happen to you. You both did the best you could with what you were given." She offered.

"You had bad things happened to you too." Joel finally said something and Y/n felt a wave of relief pass her. "No one thinks you're horrible."

She shrugged, "You'd be surprised."

He chuckled at her words, "I've known you for years, Y/n, I don't think you've got many surprises left in you." There was a cheeky glint in his eyes which had only enticed her more.

"Oh, really? So me working with the fireflies was so obvious to you was it?" He knew he was fighting a losing battle once she said that. "Or helping a kid who might have the cure flowing through her vines. Shall I go on, because I can?"

He shook his head, "Alright, alright." And he surrendered this battle he was never going to win.

A moment passed and the comedic tone fell. Y/n nudged the man, their fingertips grazing against one another's. "I'm here for you, Joel, whatever you need." She said, her words dripping in sympathy that could be heard from miles away.

And he returned to such with the slither of a smile and true gratitude, "Thanks." He nodded his head and they seeped back into silence.

But such silence had allowed Y/n's eyes to wonder. They dropped to the floor in front of them, about only a meter away where part of the floor seemed higher than the rest. "Oh my god." She spoke aloud as she dragged herself over to it.

"What?" Joel questioned with knitted brows as the girl in front leaned over a part of the floor.

"It's here!" Excitement grew in her tone as her fingers lined the square which was hidden into the floor. "I can't believe it, we- we must have walked right over it." She glanced back, finding Joel had moved to, barely inches from her face.

Y/n lifted up the piece of the floor, revealing the bright green box which resided within it. They pulled it out with glee on their faces. "Suppose it's good to know you can hide things well." Y/n thought aloud before dropping the box to the floor with a thud.

Joel clicked it open, ravaging through and gathering things as needed. "I'm thinking about leaving this." Voiced the man as he gestured to the rifle.

The woman raised a brow, uncertainty woven through her pupils, "You think that's a good idea?"

As if backing up her words, a metal clank came from the room Ellie had wandered in to. The two adults snapped around but Y/n stood. Her hand went straight to her back, pulling her pistol from her jeans as she took steady steps over to the adjacent room. "Ellie?" She called, giving a cautious glance to Joel who was towering over the metal box of supplies. "Ellie?"

The woman was about to round the corner into the room when the young girl skipped out. She was flashing a box of tampons into Y/n's face and then over at Joel as she walked out, "Picked over my ass." She spat as she strolled out like it was nothing, like Y/n hadn't just pictured her face as several infected crawled at her skin.

Still, Y/n leaned into the room slightly. When nothing came to alarm her, she slipped the pistol back into her jeans and wandered back over. Joel returned the box into the floor - along with the rifle. "What are you doing?" Inquired Ellie.

Joel had simply shrugged, "There's not much ammo out there for this thing. Makes it mostly useless."

Ellie snapped over to Y/n, pointing a finger at Joel as he packed the supplies away. "And you're okay with that?" She checked over.

"I mean it's there's no use for it, then-"

"We don't have to leave it." The girl offered hastily. "I mean I could always-"

And, in sync, the two adults became stern in their expressions and said, "No." With that, the girl shut up and they continued out the store.

They walked through many fields and paths as they made their way towards Bill and Frank's. Conversation was light. Suppose walking for almost three hours had tired Ellie and her various questions out. But the young girl soon lit up as they passed a rather eye-sore of a sight.

Atop one of the fields laid a wreckage of a plane, which likely went down during the day of the outbreak or around that time. And likely a military plane, meaning FEDRA. "Holy shit!" Exclaimed Ellie as their footsteps slowed. "You fly in one of those?" She wondered.

Y/n gave a hum, "Sometimes."

A sniffle of a laugh passed from her lips, "Lucky." And Y/n recalled thinking about how back then, going on a plane was never seen as something so lucky to be experiencing.

As if reading her mind, Joel leaned into the conversation, "Didn't seem like it at the time." He went on, "Got shoved into the middle seat and paid twenty bucks for a sandwich."

"And trust me," Y/n nudged Ellie's shoulder playfully, "The sandwiches were nothing like the ones Marlene makes you."

"Oh, come on," The girl nagged. "You literally got to go up in the sky!"

"So did they." Joel gazed back at the wreckage and suddenly the enthusiasm of the plane was stripped to apathy, clouded by the idea of death.

Y/n huffed and turned to continue walking, "Always the positive, Joel." She commented as they all moved on.

"So it all came crashing down in one day?" Ellie asked as she came in between Y/n and Joel, looking up at each of them.

"Pretty much." Answered Joel.

"How? I mean someone had to be the first to get bit? Was it a monkey? I bet it was for a monkey." She rambled on with her theories.

Joel took a breath as his eyes jumped over to Y/n, "That's a question for the doctor."

Y/n thought on it for a moment. There were many grim parts of the outbreak starting, parts of which sometimes weren't worth thinking about. So, the woman explained as best as she could, "A few of my friends, before they got infected, were working on a theory. It's likely the most reliable one. Though we'll probably never have the resources to know for sure, but they think the Cordyceps mutated and got into the food supply." She glanced over to Ellie who was hanging onto every word the woman spoke. "First record of it was at a flour mill in Indonesia. But, by that point, the food had already been shipped out all around the world. It was on the shelves, people were eating pancakes and cereal for breakfast not aware it was about to turn them into raging monsters. You were just lucky if you were able to miss it."

Ellie took it in before commenting, "Makes more sense than monkeys." She sent a smile which the older woman returned. "Did you know? Like were you in a lab somewhere stopping it- or well, trying to stop it?"

Her smile faded and her eyes went blank. "Yeah, yeah I was." She said as her mind seem to be drawn somewhere else. "We tried. We tested. We did everything we could but- but it in the end the only thing that made any dent in the spread of infection was destruction." And even then, it had barely done anything.

"Harsh." Ellie huffed.

Y/n nodded, not bothering to look back at her, "You've got no idea." It was only after she said that she realised the other two were no longer following her. Y/n halted and peered back at Joel whose eyes were widened, scanning the area ahead. "What-?" It hit her and she let out an, "Oh."

"What?" Ellie's eager eyes flickered between Y/n and Joel. "What is it?"

Joel glared at the woman and she knew she was getting silently scolded for such an obvious hint that Ellie was sure to pick up on. "We'll cut across the woods here." Joel planned as his finger aimlessly pointed to somewhere passed Y/n's head.

"Isn't the road easier?" The young girl argued.

The man gazed to Y/n, begging for help in getting around this sticky situation. "In a way, sure."

Her brows narrowed, "Okay, what aren't you telling me?"

Y/n shrugged, "There's just some things that maybe you shouldn't have to see, that's all."

"Oh, come on," A smirk rose to her lips as she wandered forward. "Now I have to see." Y/n knew something like that was always bound to follow.

The young girl swirled in front of the two adults who had stayed utterly still. "We don't won't you to." Added Joel, their stance stern as they held this parenting facade which wasn't working for them in the face of Ellie Williams.

But the girl kept on walking. And that smile at her lips failed to ever leave. "Ellie, this isn't a joke!" The woman snapped, finding herself having no choice but to walk on after her, Joel trailing behind.

"Can it hurt me?" She asked, her back turned to them both.

"That's not the point." She gave her most disciplinary voice; it still wasn't enough.

Ellie looked over her shoulder, "So, no then?"

The girl continued to walk in front of the other two. She seemed rather hyper to figure out this unknown. Anything slightly worrisome or cause for concern and Ellie was all over it like a rash. Y/n wondered if the same would be true if she really knew what part of the past she was about to walk in on.

Y/n was aware they were close when that pit her stomach grew. Like bulging pain which was impossible to ignore. "Whatever is was...I think it's gone." Said Ellie, but it wasn't, it would take many more years to erode away into the soil.

When Y/n took another glance, she found the girl stopped in her pace. Her eyes were drawn to the ditch below. There were many horrors in this world, but the bones which piled high in that ditch summed up most of them. The clothes, some baby clothes and broken bones, some of which had snapped and cracked with the time which had passed. She had never been able to look long enough to find a bullet-shaped hole in any of the heads. Though, she knew they were there.

This time there came no question from Ellie, only an answer from Joel. "About a week after the outbreak, soldiers went through the countryside and evacuated small towns." He took a breath, gathering the words which were ever so hard to voice. "Told you that you were going o a QZ and you were, if there was room. If there wasn't..." He needn't go on any further.

"These people weren't sick." Ellie realised.

Subconsciously, Y/n's head seemed to shake, "No they weren't." She said before swallowing the lump which was growing in her throat.

"So why kill them? Why not leave them be?"

The woman felt her shoulders tense. And Joel was about to jump in and answer for her when her lips opened, "They needed to save everyone they could." Her throat choked at the words. "And well, dead people couldn't get infected so." Her eyes lingered only for a moment. Not long enough to draw tears from her pupils. "Come on, we should get moving."

Y/n started walking but the two didn't follow, not straight away anyway. With knitted brows, Ellie had peered up at Joel, "Is she okay?"

"She's fine." He said sternly and started walking.

Neither of the two would say anything, but something had Y/n on edge. Maybe Joel knew slithers of what might be going on in her head but he had never been told the full story. And considering the current context, it certainly wasn't his place to push it. So he kept quiet and made sure to keep his eye out on the woman.

The path they were following soon led to the town. The one town which was still intact, not overrun in raging killing machines. But yet, something haunting still loomed over it like a dark rain cloud. They wouldn't realise the intensity of such until later on. But it was something that was going to make them wish they had never headed for their old friends.

Joel took the lead as they came up to the gate which boarded off the small town. It seemed quiet, strangely quiet. By now, they should have tripped the alarm and Bill should be out here throwing a gun in their faces, not realising they were friends. But that never came. Instead, Joel pushed the code into the gate and they let themselves in.

It only got stranger as they proceeded further into the town, with no sign of either Bill or Frank. Though, it was when Y/n noted the dead flower arrangments that her panic really started to grow; Frank wouldn't have let them die like that. They each slowed in front of the house. Y/n couldn't help but turn back to face Joel, worry written into her pupils, "You don't think that...something's happened, do you?"

He could only shrug at the thought, "I don't know." And with that, the man took the first step towards the front door.

Y/n trailed behind, her eyes darting between the several other plants which lacked the beauty Frank once provided them with. Joel clicked the door open: unlocked. The air inside the home felt empty. The three of them were bundled inside the hallway and Y/n couldn't shake the lack of the life that resided here. "What the fuck?" Ellie questioned in a hushed whisper.

Joel kept a tight grip over his pistol as he stared towards the bottom end of the hallway, "Bill?" There came no reply.

Y/n wandered into the room next to them, the one scattered in paintings, "Frank?" Again, nothing called back out to them. She huffed and walked back, "Joel, what's going on?" The panic rose in her tone.

His head shook and he stared over at Ellie, "You stay here. If you see anything, hear anything...yell." And with that, Joel dragged himself further down the corridor and Y/n headed for the stairs. Something was wrong and they were convinced they were going to figure it out.

For once, Y/n didn't take that second glance at Ellie. Rather, she kept her eyes straight on her next steps as she pulled herself to the top. Her hand slipped around the back of her jeans, retrieving her pistol and keeping it close in her grip. There were two rooms upstairs: a spare bedroom and a bathroom. Both of which were clear.

She rushed down from the stairs, swirling from the bannister as she caught sight of Joel by the end bedroom. "You find anything?" She inquired.

His hand left the door, "It's like- like there's something wedged against it." He described as he shook his head before his eyes were drawn back to the door nob.

Y/n turned the corner and found Ellie sitting lazily in one of the dining room chairs. It took her another moment to notice the pieces of paper in her hand. "What's that?" She asked, a worrisome confusion woven throughout her tone.

She held it up, "Letters." Joel swerved around the corner at that moment too, just as confused. She rose one of the papers, "To whoever, but probably Joel." She held up the second paper. "For Y/n, and Y/n only." It didn't take a genius to guess who had written each letter. "They came with this." The girl pushed over a key.

Joel chucked his back off, stepping forward to take the key, while Y/n didn't have it in her to move. "So they're dead?" Ellie nodded.

Y/n may have expected it, but the pain of such still hurt just as much. "What erm- what do the letters say?" She plucked the words from her throat carefully, not wanting to break the tears she was sure were pricking at her eyelids.

Ellie seemed to give the woman a once over, as if concerned she wasn't ready for this. But Y/n never met her eyes so she went on and read the first letter, Frank's letter, the one addressed to Y/n over anyone else. "I do hope you're the one reading this. Before anything else, the wine is yours, I know that was your favourite part about visiting." She would have laughed if she wasn't fearsome that would have brought on her cries. "I want you to know, most of all, I was happy and hopeful. Because of such, I was able to make sure Bill was happy and hopeful. Please make sure that you- you keep Joel the same and make sure he keeps you alive." There came a pause from Ellie in which both Joel and Y/n refused to meet eyes.

"I know you hadn't visited so much recently - I'm going to assume you're busy doing your genius medical needs." Y/n felt her heart sink. She hadn't seen them, well, the last time she had seen them was right before her and Joel separated. And the only reason they had been there was to prescribe Frank a boat-load of drugs. "Or maybe you finally beat the odds and that-" Ellie stuttered over her words, her brows knitted as if she was struggling to read on. "That baby of yours was born healthy into the world-" Ellie looked up and found the woman across from her was staring in an abyss with empty eyes as if a life had been sucked from her. "Baby?"

She huffed, still refusing to look at Joel as she stepped forward, snatching the letter from her hand. "No." One word. One word which echoed through each of them and thickened the air which they were already having trouble breathing in.

Joel had watched as the woman took a seat at the other end of the table, reading over the letter as if it's writing was going to change, as if what happened to her was going change. "Read the other one." The man requested.

Ellie took the second piece of paper, "August 29, 2023. If you find this, please do not come into the bedroom. We left a window open in the bedroom so the house wouldn't smell, but it will probably be a sight. I'm guessing you found this, Joel or Y/n, because anyone else would have been electrocuted or blown up by one of my traps he-he-he-he-he." Well, it was definitely written by Bill that was for sure. "Take anything you need. The bunker code is the same as the gate but in reverse. Anyway, I never liked you. But still, it's like we were friends, almost. And I respect you. So I'm going to tell you something probably the only you will understand."

"I used to hate the world and I was happy when everyone died. But I was wrong because there was one person worth saving. That's what I did. I saved him. Then I protected him. That why men like you and me are here. We have a job to do. And God help any motherfuckers who stand in our way. I leave you all my weapons and equipment. Use them to keep-" She paused, glanced to Joel, then glanced down to continue. "To keep Y/n, your future family and that friend of yours, Te-"

She stopped at that. And as Y/n had done, Joel stepped forward and took the letter for himself. There were wounds in the letters which had yet to heal and rather than help cover them up, the words had only dug them wounds deeper. The room was silent. After hours of non-stop questions and bickering, there was a silence and it was tormenting all of them. Until, shooting through the air, there came a muster of Joel's voice, "Stay here." By the time Y/n looked up, he was already walking away.

He slipped out of the front door while the other two watched from the dinning table. It took a few seconds for Y/n to debate her next move but she ended up standing, and without a word to Ellie, she went right after Joel.

He had walked to the end of the yard, the letter still in his grip as the man attempted to compose himself. That moment was a moment of doubt. Y/n wondered if she had been better staying inside. But all her doubts faded when she spoke, "Joel, I know this isn't easy and I know I'm probabl-"

She had been walking towards him slowly. But once she was close enough, the man turned, tears at his eyes and he crashed into her. Y/n caught him in her arms, holding him close like it was natural. The closest they had been in over a year. Yet, still, it felt memorable as if no time had passed. And Y/n was certain in calling Joel a broken man, she just never expected that now, considering everything, he would break in front of her.

"It's okay, I know." She had soothed into his ear. "I meant what I said Joel, I'm here to help."

It took the man a moment until the wave of emotion passed and he pulled from the girl. His eyes were glossy but his expression was stony. "Thank you." He said. "I know it was never the plan you coming out here with her." He nodded his head towards the house where Ellie was still hidden in. "You took a risk, a big one and now it's changed everything for you."

"As it has you." She responded with a slither of a smile.

Joel didn't voice much in reply to that. Rather, he held up the key he had been given and mumbled something along the lines of: "I'm gonna go-"

And Y/n let him go, "Yeah, yeah." With that, he started walking one way and Y/n went the other.

She wouldn't stop Joel. He was a grown man who would deal how he wished to, but she would always welcome him with open arms when it was needed. She just hoped he had it in him to get through. That thought made Y/n wander back to the letter, to the words Frank had used, to provide happiness and hope for those who lack it.

The second Y/n stepped foot back into the house, Ellie was at her side. There was something bubbling in her eyes, yet something also that was holding her back. "Is he okay?" She started her rampage of questions like so.

"He's fine." She answered as her mind was set on checking each room as her thoughts dwindled together a plan.

"Are you?"

Ellie was right behind her like a puppy. "Yes." She answered though none of her answers had convinced the young girl.

She checked the dining room, then she dipped her head into the kitchen. Everything was as it should be. Well, except for the dusty plates and mouldy food. Which, as Y/n turned from the kitchen, she couldn't stop staring at. "So...what's the plan?" Ellie stopped too.

There came no reply from Y/n. Instead, Ellie watched as she moved abruptly around the table. Her hands collected each of the plates and the glasses and she took them into the kitchen, placing them into the sink to be cleaned. "Your plan's to clean up?" Ellie observed as the woman stopped in the doorway between the kitchen and the dining room. Her eyes were empty and, truth was, she didn't know what she was doing.

The front door swung open and the two turned. Joel noted the wide eyes on Y/n first and the fear which seemed speckled between her pupils. Once he looked away, he spoke, "I just finished making the truck battery, its charging right now." He informed.

"How long will that take?" Y/n inquired.

He shrugged, "A good few hours."

"Okay then, I propose we stay here for the night." Y/n suggested. "We're all tired. There's the spare bedroom upstairs. Hot water. We can have a shower finally, get changed."

"Leave in the morning?" Joel asked and Y/n nodded.

"Where will we go?" Ellie questioned.

Y/n glanced to Joel to answer that, "I have a brother out in Wyoming. He's in some kind of trouble and I'm heading out there to find him. He used to be a firefly. My guess is he knows where some of them are out there. Maybe they can get you to wherever this lab is." He explained as their new plan came together.

"Alright." Ellie acknowledged. A few seconds passed before the girl opened her lips once more, "Listen about the letters, I just want you to-"

Joel was the one who cut her off, "If you're coming with us, there's some rules you gotta follow. Rule one: you don't bring up anything about them letters, not Tess, not the baby. Nothing." Y/n felt her stomach drop at the mention of it but didn't add to Joel's words as the man continued on. "As a matter of fact, we can just keep our histories to ourselves. Rule two: you don't tell anyone about your...condition. They see that bite mark, they won't think it through, they will just shoot you. Rule three: you do what we say, when we say it. We clear?"

Had Y/n been in any better mood, she might have requested Joel toned it down. But with everything they had just gone through in the last 24 hours, she kept quiet. "Yes." Ellie replied.

"Repeat it." Demanded Joel.

"What you say goes."

A silence passed. Broken when Y/n stepped forward, putting a smile to her lips. "Well, I call dibs on a shower first." She announced.

She was already walking towards the stairs as Joel spoke in reply, "I'll check the basement, see what we can take." Y/n hummed in agreement.

And there came no surprise when Ellie beamed, "Can I come?" Y/n was at the stairs by that point, hearing the deep sound of Joel's sigh which had urged a smile to her lips.

A shower was much needed - especially a hot one. If Y/n was so inclined, she could pretend that everything was fine. That with her eyes shut, there was no danger, there were no worries. She wondered if Bill and Frank lived their lives like that every day. She also wondered if there would ever come a time when she could live her life like that. Maybe if Ellie weren't such a crucial player in a could-be-cure, she would suggest they never left this place of sanctuary.

She stepped out from the shower not long after she got in, uncertain of how much hot water they had. Wrapping a towel around her body, she stepped out, words already leaving her lips before she realised what she had stepped into, "Shower's fre-"

Y/n glanced up, her eyes just as wide as Joel's who was carrying some pillows downstairs. "Shit, sorry, I didn't know you were out here." She rambled out an apology.

"It's fine." He replied, his eyes seeming to jump from place to place, not wanting to linger in one place for too long. "I was just erm," He raised the pillow in her hand, "Thought that at least one of us are going to end up sleeping on the couch so."

Her head nodded, "Right, yeah."

"I just figured that Ellie should-"

At the same time, they both agreed, "Should have the bed." An awkward chuckle came from them both before silence followed.

An equally awkward silence which could only be broken by a certain teenage girl. "Oh, is the shower free?" Ellie questioned. "I get dibs on going in next!" She exclaimed as she climbed up the stairs. As she passed Joel, she patted his shoulder, "And then it's your turn buddy because yeesh." She made a disgusted expression before wandering into the bathroom.

Just as quickly as she came and broke the silence, it came rushing back once again. Y/n gestured her head to the room passed Joel which she was heading for, "I'm just gonna go and-"

He jumped out of the way, "Sorry, yeah, course." He mumbled before they got passed each other and Y/n escaped into the spare bedroom.

Maybe it was the abruptness of seeing each other in such a domestic state. As well as the fact that Y/n had such thin material between Joel and complete exposure. Either way, it had done well to make them both flush a nice pink as they tried to sway their minds back to current matters.

Within a few hours, Y/n and Ellie had a change of clothes on as Joel took the last shower of the night. The young girl had climbed into the bed first, curled beneath the warmth of sheets and blankets they hadn't had the privilege of for a while now. Y/n was watching her from the door way, leaning aginst it as a smile covered her lips.

"Comfy?" She asked once Ellie stopped tossing and turning.

"Much so." She said, mockingly.

"And you're sure you'll be alright here?" Her tone was suddenly concerning, her need to protect Ellie taking over. "Me and Joel will just be downstairs."

"I'll scream if there's an infected in my room." She joked with a straight face.

"There's nothing to be worried about here." Y/n assured. "Nothing's getting through that fence." Bill had certainly made sure of it.

Y/n hadn't noted Joel's entrance until his figure was standing right next to her. Fresh clothes, his hair slicked back and no lingering survival smell. "What's that?" The man questioned ever so casually as if Y/n's eyes weren't dancing over his new appearance.

"Y/n is worried I'm going to die." Ellie's voice broke the girl from her stare as she peered back over at her.

Her head tilted and a smirk drew at her expression, "Why else do you think you're still alive, huh?"

"Probably because I'm immune."

"Alright, I think it's time you sleep," Joel announced, flicking the light switch off.

Ellie continued to glare at them through the light which illuminated from the hallway. "You two are weird." The young girl stated.

Though, they simply shook their heads, turned and shut the door on their way out. "We're the weird ones?" Joel whispered to her as they headed downstairs. Y/n could only offer a shrug in reply as they walked to the bottom floor.

Joel had made two make-shift beds in Frank's painting room. One on the couch, the other on the floor. He'd already convinced Y/n to take the couch - despite her arguments against such. The thought of how little sleep the man had gotten the night before still loomed over her mind, but she struggled to argue against Joel. He always had a way of convincing her.

When Y/n wandered into the room, Joel was tidying up some of the blankets. He didn't look up until she spoke. Leant against the doorway, her hair tied up and an unopened bottle of wine hanging from her grip. "I've already shoved some in the boxes were taking, but thought it'd be a nice way to end the night."

"You sure that's a good idea?" He questioned with one raised brow. "Don't want you complaining about a headache all day tomorrow."

She took that as a yes anyway, walking further into the room, sitting cross-legged in front of a coffee table. She laid out two glasses as she responded to Joel, "It's a very good idea." She poured one glass and pushed it over as it sat in front of Joel. But he didn't reach for it. Not until the woman had gone on, "Trust me, we deserve a night off." With that, he took it, taking a long sip.

Y/n attempted to conceal the smile which painted her lips as she poured her own glass. It reminded her too much off the past. Neither of them had experienced these tranquil moments for a long time, for years. And, honestly, it was a feeling they had both yearned for again. "Do you ever think about it?" That feeling seemed to be pushing Joel on as he walked into uncharted waters.

She raised a brow, keeping her glass in her hand as she shuffled back, leaning against the couch. "About what?"

It took Joel longer than Y/n expected for him to reply. Though, when the words finally escaped from his lips, she came to realise why that was. "The baby?" Her smile dropped. "I mean, do you ever think it could be like this? Somewhere safe, where you could almost forget the world we live in."

She never let her eyes leave the man. There was something haunting written in his pupils. Y/n wasn't sure whether that was the pain of Tess' death which still lingered or whether that was what came to light whenever the memory of what could have been surfaced. "It never would have been like this, Joel." She told him, realistic against this fantasy his imagination had concocted over the years. "FEDRA never would have let me leave the QZ for good, we would have been living in that apartment, waking up neighbours with a screaming baby and it's likely we would have been so worn out we would have ended up hating each other." So, either way in her mind, baby or not, she doubted she and Joel would have stuck through it all.

"That's what you think?" There were remnants of sorrow in his tone. "That we never would have made it anyway?"

Y/n tilted her head, sympathy in her expression like she was facing some naive boy. "Not many couples do. Trust me, I've seen it." She had been subject to multiple couple arguments in the space of her own office.

"But we were different." He interjected before Y/n could continue her words.

"Joel," His name left her lips soft, yet he knew what was to follow wouldn't complement that. "Look at us, we were no different to everyone else. The 'what could have been' broke us. You have the same memories as me. There was no way we were going find a way through that." He was silent in accepting her truth. "Up until now, we could barely look at each. We despised each other and avoided one another like the plague. The only reason we're sat here is because we have a common goal." That goal being the young girl asleep upstairs.

Joel took another long sip from his wine before he gave a reply, "You know for someone who's meant to have hope, you don't sound like you do." She tensed. The thought of hope took her back to the letter and Frank's voice which was now woven strictly throughout her thoughts.

"This isn't about hope, not anymore. It's about closure, Joel. And for me, realising that there was no way we were going to stick together, baby or not, was how I got over it." A huff followed. She re-filled her wine glass and stood, "Stop torturing yourself with the could have been and let yourself get over it. Please, Joel." She seemed to beg, but she doubted that man was at all inclined to listen to what she had to say.

He said nothing more. Instead, the woman turned and wandered out the room. She couldn't have gone on much longer. Just as she had once avoided Joel, she avoided the memory of what could have been. It brought on the same emotional baggage, if not more, and if she thought on it too long, she found herself drowning.

Y/n had sought refuge in the upstairs bathroom. A small, square room with a closed door and a lock. One where she didn't have to look Joel right in the eye and lie about this closure she had said comforted her. Maybe it was wrong to say it, but Y/n hadn't a speck of closure. In fact, when she thought on it, this was the one thing in which she had acted exactly as Joel did. She'd pushed every thought and feeling about it away and locked the box. Whenever it came back up, it came back up overflowing. Like it was now.

She wasn't sure how long she had hauled herself up in the bathroom. Only that she knew she was waiting until her tears stopped falling and her wine glass as empty. By the time she had crept back downstairs, the lights were out. She turned the corner, finding Joel's back turned to her as he laid in the make-shift bed on the floor of the room. Her eyes lingered on his shadow and a part of her wondered if she should say anything. It didn't take her long to realise that was bad idea.

So without any word, any extra movement, she slipped under the blankets of the couch and let sleep take her.

As morning came, they had wasted no time. They had already packed everything into the back of the car the day before. All that they needed now was to grab anything from the road and head for the car. Up until Ellie had wandered downstairs, it had been a quiet morning. Silent, in fact. The voices from the night before still seemed to linger in the air, making it thick and neither Y/n nor Joel were wanting to break that yet.

"And you've got everything you need?" Y/n checked over as they each walked through into the garage.

Ellie was practically skipping towards the car, "For the tenth time, yes." She replied in her teenage-tone as her hand hovered over the driver's door.

"No way." Said Joel, erupting a groan from the young girl. "In the back."

With the roll of her eyes, she followed his instruction and jumped into the back, between the several boxes of supplies. But even then, she leaning forward between Y/n and Joel, her eyes darting over all the enticing buttons she didn't understand. They were lucky the engine wasn't on when she decided to start pushing all the buttons, only enhancing the glee this machine was providing her.

Y/n gazed back at her with raised brows, "First time in a car?"

She nodded but never looked up from the buttons, "Yep. It's like a spaceship."

Y/n took a gentle hold of her hand and pulled it from the radio, "Well, how about you try and not press anything which will cause the car to break down, yeah?" She pulled back a little but her grin never left her face.

"Seatbelt." Joel stated as he and Y/n pulled theirs over their waist, clicking it in.

Ellie, however, was oblivious. "Ellie?" Y/n called as the young girl looked up. "Seatbelt." The woman tugged at her own so the girl knew what she was referring to.

And with knitted brows, she turned, trying to pull her seatbelt over. Only to fail miserably. In the end, Joel leaned over into the back, pulling it over for her. "Oh." She realised as it clicked in. "So cool."

With that, Joel finally started the car. Ellie's scavenging still continued. Though, it was harmless and as she was in the back, was likely to not cause any harm to the car itself. They were half way towards the gate when a sharp gasp came from the girl in the back. Y/n looked to her through the rear-view mirror, relaxing a little when she realised it was just a tape she had found. "Look," The girl said, before leaning over towards the radio.

"Ellie," Joel used his stern voice. Not that it had done anything to stop the young girl.

Instead, she put the tape into the radio and a rather soft-sounding, almost classical song started to play. "Oh no, this is good," Joel changed his mind like the flick of a switch. "This is Linda Ronstadt." He informed, not that the name meant anything to the girl in the back. "Do you know who Linda Ronstadt is?"

"You know I don't know who Linda Ronstadt is." She quipped in return.

The car slowed as they faced the gate. Joel retrieved the small remote that controlled the fence. With the press of a few buttons, it started opening. "It's better than nothing." Ellie finally voiced her opinion. Something of which seemed to have offended Joel - not that he said anything.

With the gate open, Joel drove through. And like that, they were back to normal. Back to the fear of what creatures lurked around them, or what people they may end up surrounded by. The only thing to break Y/n from that thought was the first of many questions she was sure were to come. "So?" Ellie voiced, leaning between the two front seats. "What were you guys talking about last night?"

Y/n felt herself tense, but tried to hide it as best as she were able. "I thought you were listening to the music?" She argued, seemingly enough to prompt the girl back into her seat with a huff.

And rather than silence taking over, they were each comforted by the sounds of Linda Ronstadt.

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kess-in-the-perthchimzone · 6 months

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Little details in episode 10

Oh hey, it’s that day of the week where I drink a big glass of wine and babble incessantly about minor details in Dangerous Romance

The way Kang knows with his eyes still closed that Sailom isn’t in the bed! How he’s reaching out, searching. And then how panicked he briefly is when Sailom isn’t there.

You can tell Sailom is still giddy from the night before because instead of rolling his eyes at this over-the-top line from Kang, he gets briefly and unusually shy. (It’s almost like he was starting to believe Kang means these things, noooo)

But Sailom does make a recovery with this zinger of a line

How Sailom watches Kang the entire time he’s on the phone with his dad, clearly trying to read his body language and make sure he’s okay. BOYFRIEND BEHAVIOR

Also I’m still really proud of Kang for this line. The growth (that we would have gotten had he not regressed 😭)

I’m just really emotional over Sailom recording this so lovingly done video of Kang to send to his future father-in-law. The pride in Kang it shows — he knows how talented Kang is! And the fact that he so clearly hoped it might change Kong’s mind

I LOVE this line. It implies so much. “Kang and I talk all the time, how did I not know you played football?”

Actually the best line in the entire episode. Sailom is proud he stopped Kang’s bad behavior! Sailom apparently has a kind of warped fondness for the gym kiss now that they are kissing for real.

Also I don’t really want to include another screenshot of him so adding here that probably the thing I most like about Kong is how he seems to genuinely respect Sailom. One area in which I will concede he has done well.

I’m obsessed with Guy & Kang. Their sports-only, classic BOY friendship is my favorite thing in the world. The fact Kang comes running over to check on him right away does something to my shriveled heart!!

My brain has the completely ridiculous urge to quote Captive Prince here. We’re seeing Kang’s “nascent kingship” forming, and by that I mean, starting to get hints of Kang’s true leadership qualities (WHAT IF the dad withdraws from running for office because he wants to be more devoted to family and we get some kind of epilogue where Kang decides to run?? It’s been hinted at TWICE)

We’re also seeing Sailom slowly turning into a huge football nerd. The way Sailom so sincerely compliments Kang on literally everything else really hits home how much he DOESN’T ever say anything sincere about his own personal feelings towards him

You can really tell how worried Sailom is about Kang still because this is the second time he’s been watching Kang closely and asked how he’s doing

This look on Kang’s face when he learns his dad came to his game. I think this says it all about why he’s so devastated later. He’s wanted this so badly and for so long and he finally got it just to have it yanked away (which coincidentally also describes how Sailom probably feels about Kang … I hate it here)

This is Sailom’s smile after seeing how excited Kang is to get home to see his dad. He’s so happy he made his boyfriend happy!!

The height difference here! And it’s nice later in the series to see how sweet Kang is with his grandmother when it isn’t part of his “I’m a sweet, innocent kitten” act

He goes on to … ruin it, to say it lightly. KANGHAN. But the fact that he left the hospital while his dad is in a coma, he went TO Sailom, he put a hand on his back, he assured him. Kang deserves a tiny amount of points. There was (initially) some very good boyfriending here in the face of a very stressful situation for Kang

Sailom has to scrunch his eyes after Kang says he’ll support him. His soft voice when he says “Thanks Kang” will haunt my dreams

As @srnileforme points out Sailom isn’t actually saying “Kang”; he’s saying “you”. Which means Sailom puts distance between them verbally BEFORE Kang does

What is this shirt?? Have we ever actually seen Sailom wear it

The gates slowly closing is so good. I can hear M of @criticallyobs talking about they are leaving Kang trapped in a prison of his own making

Sailom stares at his phone for a very long time here. I really think he’s thinking about calling Kang

Sailom is so mad at himself that he CANT steal the watch. He knows it would make his life easier

I still don’t know how I feel about Sailom smiling this way in response to Name!!

Sailom knowing this really gets to me. He’s not getting this from Kang. Is he obsessively watching the news?

PAPANG (@thirstkanaphan this is for you)

CHIMON. SAILOM. I don’t even know who to yell at!! I really appreciate the stylists who so dramatically change his hair depending on situation

I probably won’t have any more screenshots from here but want it on record that I am making myself watch the actual dinner part of the escort scene. I feel like I owe it to Sailom to experience what he experienced at least once. So keep me in your thoughts.

Wow, I lied. WHAT. EXCUSE ME. This was your idea, Sailom?

Nice try, you sick bastard, but he won’t tell ANYONE that.

Is this actually Chimon/Sailom on the bed?? He looks like he could be a doll in a very unsettling way. Once again I can understand why Kang flipped the fuck out seeing this.

And then some trailer speculation — there is definitely a second bike there with Kang. Who is it??! I like the idea it’s Name escorting him here to some kind of showdown with his boss. So getting that officially on the record

@dramabiscuit I know you caught even more but I ran out of screenshots so please add them on!

#Little details series #dangerous romance #dangerous romance the series #kess babbles about dangerous romance #kanghansailom

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itbe-jess · 6 months

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Rating my Raymen from favorite to least favorite!

Sparks Of Hope- 100/10!

When Nintendo gave Rayman his comeback, they did everything perfectly! *Mwah* 👌 His design is so fresh and expressive. His face looks very kissable. And his hair... so floofy! 💗 Personality wise, he is possibly the most relatable Rayman of all. I mean, have you looked at him? He gives off so many depressed, tired millennial vibes. Despite that, he still has his enthusiasm for adventure. He also kept his kind heart, with a little adorable shyness to boot. Man, his voice is so comforting, I could listen to it all day. Thank you, Mr. Gasman.

Props to Nintendo for the recurring gag of Rayman's appendages coming apart. I love it when his limblessness is rooted in humor. What amazes me more is how this is the first Rabbids game that allows Rayman to perform his iconic feats, since he never did any of those in the previous Rabbid titles. There is nothing I don't like about this Rayman! It's so warm. He is the living definition of quality art! No, he is art!

Rayman 3- 10/10

This is the game that gave Rayman his stunning new design that became the preferable fan favorite. (By the way, Rayman 3 is the best Rayman game. I said so, and I don't give a fuck on what others say.) He's funky, silly, and laid-back, yet still takes his job seriously, while being a loving friend we all wished we had. The over the top cartoony physics in his character certainly brings out a laughable charm, too. I'd say this Rayman is SEGA's answer to Sonic The Hedgehog.

The steady blend in his personality, paired with a badass looking design, truly makes Rayman stand out as a memorable video game character for all ages. Just looking at him, you know he's very welcoming. David Gasman did an excellent job providing his voice. He was even good enough to revise his role as the limbless wonder in SOH, cuz no other voice actor can do it better. Dare I say it: R3 Ray is pretty handsome, too. HUGE FEATURES.

Rayman 2- 9/10

Sweet precious boy with a squishy baby face, I just wanna squeeze, and doesn't hold one bad bone in his body. (Does Rayman even have bones?) For some reason, he looks more cute in low poly than any of the high rendered art. I think it's because the outdated graphics make him look like a cuddly teddy bear. He's just a little guy. But under all that cuteness, he's a determined hero who never goes back on his word, and will go through hell just for you. Purest man alive.

However, he's a little too nice for his own good. That's his entire character in the game, which is the only thing I could nitpick. I would like to see him show some anger, or deliver sarcastic one-liners, but only centered on his earnest side. To be fair, the game does exploit on his playful side a little. He dances with Teensies, plays basketball with his torso, and performs somersaults on Clark the Giant. Rayman M/Arena even highlighted his playfulness more.

The Animated Series- 8.5/10

R2 Rayman's cartoon counterpart, but with a more fleshed out personality. In my opinion, Rayman himself is one of the only watchable moments in this series. He's your stereotypical rebellious teen with a no-bullshit attitude, and will slap you with a good dose of sass. But at the same time, he still cares for others around him, and has shown to be quite considerate, as well as a wise leader. Billy West did a decent job voicing Rayman. I'm gonna be honest: The broken Boston accent is very amusing to listen to. lol Reminds me of myself, since I too speak with a broken Boston accent. And since Billy West is autistic, I officially claim AS Rayman to be autistic as well! 🙌

Sadly, as much as it pains me, I had to put him behind R2 Rayman. Despite being the titular character, the series doesn't offer much of him. It rarely focuses on Rayman at all. If you removed him entirely from the show, nothing will change. The only time Rayman ever used his powers is in the second episode, and a little bit in the first. He's got so much potential, only to have it wasted. They did my boy dirty like that.

Rayman 1- 8/10

This little lad was Cuphead before Cuphead. (Their games have similar aspects, if you think about it) What can I say about him? Well, he's such a pure child, so small and cozy, who is willing to leap into danger with a smile on his face. I wanna hold him and spoil him. Give him dessert before dinner. The most interesting factor to admire about him is how he's meant to represent an old Golden Age cartoon, courtesy of Tex Avery's inspiration. Aside from being cute and wacky, he's a good fella who will make friends with some of his enemies. He also tends to have hidden depths, like painting and singing show tunes.

I'm sorry for ranking him very low on the list, but there aren't that many insights to his character. He doesn't talk (much), we don't see him properly interact with other characters, and the game isn't heavily emphasized on storytelling. The plot is just free Electoons, and kick baddie ass. I will give credit to the edutainment games, for expanding more on R1 Rayman's character.

Raving Rabbids- 6.3/10

Here, we are given a more softer approach of Rayman. The RR trilogy portrays our limbless wonder as an awkward cutie who just wants to indulge a peaceful relaxing break, while still having his determination and heroic spirit. He will wear a dress to a death defying arena course, and he's a damn good dancer. He also tries to be a good uncle to Globox's kids. It's very satisfying to watch Rayman do mundae stuff, although in RRR 2, it only depends on who you're playing as.

Unfortunately, it's safe to admit that this Rayman is a mere joke. Most of the time, he's portrayed as a coward, lets the rabbids walk all over him, and doesn't think before his actions. He spent 15 days being the bunnies' bitch before he eventually escaped, when he could've just flown out of his cell, or fought the bunnies off! (That was the original premise of the game, after all!) He forgets to save Globox's kids in the end, which made his escape plan turn out to be a complete waste, then ends up getting stuck in a burrow before being eaten by sheep. We don't know if he stopped the bunnies in RRR 2, although TV Party implied that he failed. Needless to say, it's not his fault. He was intentionally made to look bad just so the rabbids could shine. Fuck you, Ubisoft.

UbiArts- 4/10

Although the games did really poorly in sales and soon reduced to dumb mobile games later on, there's no denying that this Rayman would eventually spring back into stardom. Inspired by his original 2D counterpart, we're introduced to an adorkable, careless adventurer, with an attitude that will light up your worst moods. He's aesthetically wacky, and knows how to have a good time.

As fun of a character he may be, he's a little weak in depth. So far, all he can be is wacky and happy. He's happy all the time. Not to mention he's too immature. I know some of you will fight back against this argument with "But Rayman acts exactly how he did in his first game!" Well, yes, and no. R1 Rayman is pretty wacky and childish, but he had variety; Showing anger, fear, friendliness, classiness, and his wackiness is up to old-school Looney Tunes level. Whereas UbiArts' Rayman is one dimensional. It's even worse that the playable characters have the same personality and fighting strategy as him.

Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix- 2/10

I was worried that Rayman turned out to be a greedy propagandist who has no shame in working under a corrupted system. As I found out, much to my relief, he's not a villain. Just an ordinary nice guy who wants to stand in the spotlight. All he wanted was to do some good in his life. He really means no harm in his actions. Because Eden handed him his stardom on a silver platter, the best he could do was be loyal towards them, making it easy for Eden to manipulate him. Once he discovered the dark truth Eden was burying, he then decided to fix what his influence had done. I really sympathize with him. I feel his pain. I admire that his heart is in the right place. He has every right to let out all his bottled up feelings.

He's a good character. But the problem is he's not a good character as Rayman. He doesn't even feel like Rayman at all. He's only Rayman in name and appearance. The rest of his character is BoJack Horseman clashed with Shadow The Hedgehog. The idea of Rayman swearing, drinking, and trying drugs is fun, but he's so oversaturated with edge, I can hardly recognize him, especially when he wears sleeves. I'm also not a big fan of his design. If "Ramon" wants to kill a group of fascists for using him, he could at least do it the more traditional Rayman way! Fuck the guns! Just beat them to death! Whip out the ol' lockjaw! Slice and dice 'em with helicopter hair! If you like this version of Rayman, I gradually respect that, and will support you. This Rayman just isn't for me.

Rayman And Les Moldies- 0/10.

Kill it. I don't care if this is the only piece of artwork we have so far on the show. Kill it.

#Rayman #video games #cartoons #Rayman 1 #Rayman 2 #Rayman 3 #Rayman Origins #Rayman Legends #Rayman Raving Rabbids #Rayman In The Phantom Show #Rayman The Animated Series #Captain Laserhawk: A Blood Dragon Remix #I do not intend to offend you. These are all based on my opinion.#Please respect them.

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popculturebuffet · 4 months

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Top 20 Animated Episodes of 2023 Part 1

Hello all you happy people! It's now 2024, and with 2023 behind us it's time for my faviorite yearly thing on this blog: my top 20 episodes of the year list!

For those of you new to this tradition or needing a refresher, each year I take 5 episodes each (or less if the show had less), from the various shows I watched that year, and then slowly wittle it down from a massive pile to the 20 best, split into two digestible parts, and let you all enjoy the results. It's one of my favorite things as it gives a nice, personal, wide berth of what happened in that year, gives this blog something unique to do, and allows me to touch on shows I haven't covered yet or may simply not get to for some time, if ever.

2023 was a mixed bag for me, both professionally and personally: It started.. with a kick in the teeth as my cat Stewie died after living a long, fufilling life of looking mildly pissed at everything but still being cute.

He was a good cat and his loss is something I still haven't fully gotten over a year later.

It was a harbringer of change: with Stewie's death we finally moved out of the house I lived in pretty much my whole life, and into a smaller, nicer and far better apartment with my own mini office in my room even and all my children/books/children returned to me. It's taken 6 months but I feel like i've fully settled into my new, wonderful home.

And towards the end of this year as the loss of Stewie still stung all this time later, I got another great change with the addition of Maddie

Maddie was the dog of a close friend of the family who had to go into a retirement home. She needed a home, and now has one in my room looking morose, licking my face and occasionally going under the bed for hours at a time like the cave goblin she is. She was a much needed bolt of sunshine in this storm of a year. I do metaphor good.

So with all these c-changes, how did this blog fair? Suprisingly great but not entirely in tact. Quality wise I do think I did some of my best work this year: I tackled the first apperances of every spider-man, woman and pig in into the spider-verse, the movie itself, finally web swining around a bit thanks to kev with a little more spidey planned for this year, with a tie in for Kraven later this year that's exactly what you think it is. I finally got to do an x-men month, covered rocko's modern life static cling for pride month, and in one of my finest hours, got to do a retrospective on one of my faviroite fairly recent comic strips breaking cat news with the help of my friend emma. Her sponsorship meant I got to cover something great and while few people have read it, i'm happy just to have it out there.

In addition to that I covered Tugs, an osbcure UK series and spirtual brother to thomas the tank engine that involved state mandated death dates for boats, pirates, and eleven minutes of explosions. I finally got to enjoy the madness that was the Telltale Sam and Max Games, with Save the World in the pocket and Beyond Time and Space wrapping up next week. And biggest, best and brightest of all I did a retrospecitve on little shop of horrors, finally seeing both the stage play and original corman film, as well as little shop. And someday i'll have recovered from seeing little shop.

The delay on that though brings me to the other shoe.. this year my productivity was in the basement and my week was at an all time low. Several reviews got delayed, from stewie's death leaving me unable to work for a few days for damn obvious reasons, to the move frequently taking my time or leaving me off balance. Not only that I didn't plan my time off for the move well, so I was left having to rearrange my whole schedule. It's why both pirate month and pride month, proud institutions on this blog, were reduced to a week and a three part special, something I wasn't remotely happy with. Things kept slipping by, and in general it wasn't my best year for getting shit done. I realized i'd simply taken WAY too much on, and thus have scaled back to ten reviews instead of 12 a month, and may scale back further if necessary: i'd rather these reviews be their best and get put through a spellcheck than be glad it's done only to realize I have nother thing that's due yesterday.

Not helping were towards the end of the year, a massively loud noise from my computer fan that made it hard to concentrate, something that's hard for my adhd ass in general let alone with a giant whirring fan that nothing can out loud, and having finally solved tha tproblem thanks to my dad's help.... then having my wrist go out, and while it's recovered now, it meant an extra week off, which sounds nice and was in places.. but was mostly spent in pain or asleep to escpae the pain till I got things to help with that. Then after a nice christmas, a lovely few days after... I got a cold, which spent up a large chunk of my vacation in a sick coma.

I apologize a bit for all the venting as you can tell this year's been a long one. I came out the otherside well with a loveable dog and a great new work/living space, but it was a bitch getting to here.

Thankfully animation wise, the industry wasn't in as MUCH turmoil this year. It still wasn't great: We got more cancelations with Lumberjanes and Phoebe and Her Unicorn announced formally dead before arrival had even started, and cancellations for Inside Job, Star Trek Progidy and Praise Petey, the last two seemingly in limbo as a result, with only one getting saved. While it wasn't the cancelnado of last year that wrecked many a service and nearly ended me, it was still pretty bad and Warner showed zero signs of learning from their lessons: after taking a few months off thinking the heat died down they tried canceling coyote vs acme.. only to then nakedly start a bidding war, making what they were really doing with most projects obvious: making them unaviliable.. and then starting a bidding war for other streamers. I'm not upset many of these shows are on other streamers as their safer from Zaslav there, but it shows just how nakedly greedy, transparently corrupt and blatantly fraudlent Warner Bros Discovery has become.

While the sales of the brilliant Merry Little Batman and sure to be great Batman: Caped Crusader to amazon are GOOD as Amazon has learned what animation means, it unmasks warner as simply doing all this tax writeoff shit to make money.. and then often forgetting to even sell the shows, not carring if no one's buying and just shrugging off someone's heart and soul being cast into the void. The loss of Final Space and Close Enough STILL stings and hasn't gone away even with the maker of the former both having found a way to finish the story and move on with his life.

The cherry on top of this shit sundae is Zaslav, no shit, saying the decision to shelve Batgirl, a movie that was entirely done and could've had the elseworlds label slapped on it if they didn't want it in the DCU, BRAVE. Yes that.. really happened.

It wasn't just Zaslav fucking up this year though, as other execs certainly tried their hardest or were arm and arm with him: The biggest blunder is obviously the strikes which while not affecting animation for the most part, was still a long dark night of the soul that was entirely the fault of executives not wanting to give up the precious theorietical money they could make once AI gets to the point it can create actual things, nor the likenesses of DEAD PEOPLE they should have no right to. Exec behavior was at it's most disgraceful this year... I don't know how that bare somehow got lower but that's the hellscape we're in with both zaslav and iger beign part of the corprate hydra that kept rejecting any deals presented and tended to flip the table and leave in a huff , leaving the negotations for weeks at a time till it became apparent that no amount of veiled threats of starving them out.

That said the strikes... were a net positive: they were long, brutal and threw tv off and delayed a show or two.. but it was well worth it. It helped show just how much actors and writers of all pay levels are needed, got them badly needed pay increases and protections and left the door open to help fiddle with AI protections as while AI isn't remotely good at creating scripts, that's never stopped execs from promoting something anyway. Despite MANY attempts to demonize the strikers, frame them as hollywood elites despite the fact the bulk were just trying to live on and were putting their liveleyhoods at stake to make sure they had one, or paint them as the bad guys.. it never worked. The public held firm, the strikers held firm and deflected most attempts with solidarity, with said big fish they tried to use as propoganda.. instead gladly donating to help the strike keep going. Fran Drescher and co fought hard, and the result is a slightly better hollywood.

And that hope for a brighter future really radiated this year: while Animation is still in flux in places, a lot of the networks hit hard by corprate dumbfuckery last year started to regrow: Netflix, after a year or two of rapid cancellations and baffling decisions, finally regrew it's animation divsions: Outside of Inside Job, most cancelations were shows that really weren't the best idea or execution to start with, and most hits got renewed, with them even picking up Star Trek Prodigy for another season and likely as many as they can carry. They pivoted more to adult animation with hits like Scott Pilgrim Takes Off, Pluto, Castlevania Nocturne, Carol and the End of the World and Blue Eyed Samurai, the latter three I wish I got to but i've heard are incredible.

While WBD was still BURNIN DOWN THE HOUSEEEE, it snuck in a few hits with My Adventures with Superman and tons of great stuff I did'nt get too like Scavengers Reign, the beginning of the end for Craig of the Creek, Fired on Mars, and Hair Love, while having a suprise banger in the form of Tiny Toons Loonveristy, proving just how to reboot a classic property once again. Not only that the finale movies for Venture Bros and Metalocalypse came out, which given the last year was a huge fingers crossed thing. But both came out, I got both on blu ray, and got neat posters with them in the bargin and both closed up two of adult swims best series in the way they richly deserved. We also got an Urkel Christmas Movie. I guess.

Amazon continued it's own building: in addition to the dark knight picups mentiond, Invincible and Legend of Vox Machina both had amazing season 2's, with Vox Machina picked up for two more seasons to close it out proper and a Mighty Nein spinoff, with a Belles Helles Spinoff all but guarnateed at some point, and Hazbin Hotel after a truly agonizing year of waiting for someone to announce they had it, finding a perfect home for the happiest place in hell.

Finally, the indie scene, already thriving blew the fuck up. For the first time I nominated six diffrent pilots from various indie creators who all did a fucking great job: Godspeed, Lackadaisy, In Limbo, Atlas and the Stars, and Swift Spark and the Defensive five all had impressive showings and I regret not watching Lackadaisy in time to support it, but I can't wait to see what it brings to the table and to see all of these shows make it to series, not to mention up coming ones like ToonrifiqTariq's "Hey" that are likely going to come out next year.

It's a strange time for animatoin.. but one tha'ts proven you can make your own way, that the big coprations are trying and that in film.. is at one of i'ts brightest: while there ere some stumbles we had masterpieces like Nimona, which also made disney look horribly stupid for homophobically canceling it, Across the Spider verse (which needed to treat it's animators better but still deserves mention), and TMNT Mutant Mayhem.

It was a hell of a year and I can't want to share the best of it with you. And as a result of such a good year there's a few firsts: This is the first year with Anime included and if you want to know why i'ts taken so long it wasn't snobbery.. I just.. plain forgot to watch the ones I DID want to watch the past few years. That's... really it. I usually prefer reading the manga, as it's both faster and less time consuming, and Some of the best often aren't on the streaming platforms I do have. Pluto and Scott Pilgrim got by by being adaptations of something I love with all my heart a piece and thus coudln't bear myself to miss, but I might try to vary up my viewing more next year. I do want to check Zom 100 out at some point.

Anyways the other is that I allowed two dtv movies in here. Now this is with a caveat: It has to be directly linked to an existing animated series, a sequel, a prequel, etc. It's something I never really thought about before, but makes sense: While Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart and Army of the Doomstar were both considered for my film list too and are films.. their the proper conclusion to their stories. Not only that with Pluto's inclusion on this list, we have a series that had episodes only about ten minutes or so shy of both films runtime, so I figured fudging the rules like this was fair. I would've included Craig Before the Creek, but I want to wait to watch it when it comes on HBO Max next month.. and buy it on Physical as I don't remotely trust WBD to keep digtial copies up forever anymore. And really it feels in the spirit of things like operation zero back in the day or in both metalocalypse and venture bros own histories, all this and gargantua 2 and doomstar requieum.

Okay now that's settled this years list is intresting as while there's a decent amount of returning shows most haven't been on this list before. Of the nominees the only returning shows are The Legend of Vox Machina, Invincible, Helluva Boss, The Great North, Miraculous and Big City Greens, with mainstays like Tuca and Bertie and Close Enough sadly gone thanks to WBD being pralines and dicks. Thus our shows competing are an eclectic mix of returning combatants, one for sadly the last times, revivials of old shows, reboots of old shows, two limited series, and a handful of spectacular pilots

These are the shows that I got to see this show and thus entered the running, all sorted by platform since.. there's a lot.

Amazon Prime: The Legend of Vox Machina Invincible

HBO Max: YOLO: Silver Destiny Clone High Tiny Toons Looniversity Adventure Time : Fionna and Cake Aqua Teen Hunger Force My Adventures with Superman Disney+: Moon Girl and Devil Dinosaur The Owl House (Final Year) Kiff Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir Big City Greens Hulu: The Great North Futurama Bob's Burgers The Simpsons Netflix: Scott Pilgrim Takes Off (Limited Series) Pluto (Limited Series) DTV: Venture Bros: Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart (Special) Metalocalypse: Army of the Doomstar (Special)

YouTube: Helluva Boss Godspeed Lackadaisy In Limbo The Amazing Digital Circus Atlas and the Stars Swift Spark and the Defensive Five

So with our nominees in clear view, who shined the brightest, who didn't and whose going to yell at me over my choices? find out under the cut!

FULL SPOILERS FOR MOST EPISODES ON THIS LIST. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED

20. The First Episode (Atlas and the Stars, Pilot)

"Sorry for dragging you into this man. You don't have to trust me but I promise to make this up to you, I swear."

Coming in just under the wire as the last released episode on this list, it's placing is just a fun concidence, we have The First Episode... the pilot for new series Atlas and the Stars. You can watch it here

youtube

So it's come up soon but the reason I put MOST episodes on the spoiler warning.. is this pilot and another on the list, I really DON'T want to spoil much as both rely on you watching it, this one in paticular not revealing what the show's premise will be from here on out, instead telling the parallel tales of Atlas, a human from a dying planet who hyjacks a space ship to acheive her dream of endless freedom in the stars, Atmosphere, a shy loveable alien embarking on his first day regestring ships at a space port, and Quasar, the lord of a mysterious planet who keeps having to sacrifice.. somethign to a portal to keep it alive... and it can't keep up forever and his beligeured assitant nebula. ALl of this comes togeter in a beautifully animated, well active and creative sci fi adventure with one hell of a hook from where it goes form here, awesome character desgin work and some neat sci fi tek in Atlas' googles. Miranda Toomey used every inch of whateve rbudget she had to make this and it turne dout gorgeous, and I can't wait to see the next episode in this and how this story progresses. It's well done, gorgeous, heartfelt and engaging and I recommend you go watch it before we move on to our next entry.

19. Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart (Venture Brothers, Finale Movie) "All you need to know is the person who gave birth to you loves you, I promise you that"

From a start to a finish we have Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart, the long awaited and thankfully came out with a dvd and everything ending of the Venture Brothers. It's shockingly low on this list, but as much as I love this series.. it came out in a tight year with some even better finales, and had the burdern of having to cram in a season's worth of content, even with the cuts they made, into an 84 minute film.

The results are still excellent: Radiant is a fun, frantic race to the finish line that satisfyingly answers a lot of the series biggest questions: Who the boys mom was, how Monarch and Rusty are related, can HELPER fire a shot gun, will Hank and Dean reconcile... all the closure we needed in a tight 88 minute story that also includes classic hip hop traick it's takes 2, magnetic shenanigans, Hank using giant novelty checks for money, dermott using a piss filled super soaker, dean thinking he's a vampire, a halfway house for supernatural heroes, and Mantilla, one of the series most delightful villians and one I really wish we'd gotten proper time with. It's a joyous reaffermation of what this series is about, has nice moments for most of the best cast members, including Brick Frog my beloved, and ends on a mostly satisfying note. It also gives us a golem made entirely of pants and isn't that the greatest adventure of all?

18. "Lights, Camera, Sparks?!" (Scott Pilgrim Takes Off, Episode 5)

"You've known him for three f***ing days!" "Is that all it's been?!" Scott Pilgrim Takes Off was an easy faviorite this year and given my longstanding love of the Scott Pilgrim comics and like of the movie, it wasn't a huge shocker i'd love whatever the anime turned out being. I was pumped from the announcement, worried it'd just be "the movie but animated" when the cast was announced.. and then over the moon when it turned out that no, the cast was all coming back but the take on the franchise was all new.

What we got wasn't the straight adaptation that was pitched.. and was all the better for it. If you haven't seen Takes Off.. please do it's fantastic, I did a whole review on it, go, and if you won't then this is your last warning as I can't really talk about the episodes of it on this list without getting into spoilers as it's one of those series where the first episode twist.. defines the rest of the show.

Okay we good. So the first episode progresses as normal, a few tweaks to let you know this is it's own universe, enough character moments to show that even with the film voice actors the main cast is closer to the comics..... then Scott seemingly dies.

From there things go off the rails, and that's where the magic kicks in: While Scott's still key to the story and turns out, naturally, NOT to be dead, instead kidnapped by a mysterious portal, Ramona takes the lead, with us getting to know her better now she's the pov character instead of the guy worshipping the ground she skates on. While Ramona was fleshed out in the comics, the series gives her more to do as she solves this mystery. It's intriguing, it's fun, and it gives Mary Elizabeth Winstead the chance to play a more fleshed out version of the character with more sides to her than "aloof".

What the series also does well.. is go the fuck off the rails. Matthew uses his newfound confidence to punch gideon out of all his companies and fancy suits, Gideon becomes the best worst couple with julie, and Young Neil becomes a spacey moron who assumes the mysterious person writing a script based on how the story originally went is his sleep paralysis demon. The series has a lot of great character, animation and development as Ramona's forced to .. talk with her exes instead of her new boyfriend punching most of them for her.. but it can't be forgotten it's also delightfully nuts, easily the goofiest this franchise has gotten and i'm here for it.

That brings us to "Lights, Camera, Sparks?!", easily the biggest shit post of the entire series, and one of the funniest episodes of the year easily. While the previous ones are a bit melancholy in tone with the goofy stuff as a nice side dish, fitting how scott pilgrim rolls, LCS is just one long farce with Ramona struggling to get any detective shit done while Wallace wrecks envy and todd's relationship, Edgar Wright but voiced by Kevin McDonald slowly looses his mind, and Neil gets into various shenanigans while only being a quarter aware of anything going on, including what was in the script his sleep paralysis ramona from the future wrote.

The setup is simple: Toronotwood is making a film based on how scott's story usually go, again ghost written by a mysterious sleep paralysis demon, and hired Lucas and envy to play scott and ramona. Lucas got can...something for dating a 30 year old who looks like a high schooler, so now i'ts todd clumisly shoved into Scott's clothes. Wallace is also there, having throughly humilited the notoriously straight actor playing him out of a job and letting his ego grow 15 sizes that day.

What follows is a mocumentary masterclass as Envy and Todd can't stop being horny for two seconds, Wallace making out with Todd and being his bi awakening reading them to constantly "run lines in his trailer", Neil is hilaroius and you will repeat everything he says and Ramona is left bobbing around unable to actually get any answers.

This all leads to a delightful explosion as Todd falls in love with Wallace, Wallace is a callous dick, Wallace sicks his stunt doubles on Envy, Ramona is sicked on them, and everyone is confused, all cumilating in todd binge eating poutine and crying, an option I wish americans had but alas we are poutineless while Matt shuts down the production then sputters like a kid who got a lucky punch in on his bully when he finds out Scott is alive. Also Knives and Stephen get a meeting with him leading to the greatest musical of all time.

As you can tell this episode is very stupid and I love it. It's just 100% nonsense the whole way through, letting Wallace do something since the only main character who isn't Ramona he interacts with is in the future right now. There isn't much to disect, i'ts just pure comedy gold with props to both Kirean for really nailing a more douchestastic wallace and especially Brandon Routh who has shockingly deep comedic chops. A great episode and a nice break before we dive full speed into just where Scott went.

17. Lackadaisy (Pilot Episode)

Old Man River! That seems far too austere a name for something made of mirth and rage. O, roiling red-blood river vein. If chief among your traits is age, You're a wily, convoluted sage.

Is "old" the thing to call what rings the vernal heart of wester-lore? What brings us brassy-myth made kings. And a preponderance of bug-type things. To challenge titans come before!

O, demiurge to a try at Avalon-once-more?

And what august vitality in your wide aorta stream. You must have had to oversee alchemic change of timber beam to iron, brick and engine steam!

Your umber whiskey waters lance the prideful, sober sovereignty of faulty-haloed temperance, and wilt her self-sure countenance; Yes, righteousness is vanity. But sport's for imps, not elderly.

So if there's a name for migrant mass of veteran frivolity That snakes through seas of prairie grass and groves of summer sassafras; a name that flows as roguishly as wild waters, fast and free, It's your true name: Mississippi.

That beautiful poem opens up Lackadaisy, thank you wiki so I didn't have to transcribe that whole glorious thing, as a roustabout cat in 1927 St. Louis names rocky spends the first few minutes playing fiddle, basking in the glorious moonlight and waxing poetic about the mighty missisipi. It's a beautiful opening that shows off the series deft animation and MIssouri setting, something that makes me want to learn more about my own state's history. It's clear from the word go a LOT of love and research went into this setting, and given creator Tracy Butler had started Lackadaisy as an even MORE lavishly drawn webcomic.

Lackadaisy has a simple setup: three cats working for the titular saloon, Rocky, our dreamy narrator and mild loon, Freckle, his grumpy sidekick whose perhaps a bit TOO good with a gun, and Ivy, a peppy girl who takes jabs at Rocky and flirts with Freckle. I .. I ship the fuck out of it. These two are adorable. The three are robbing a body for canadian hooch but have to deal with the deathly serious and deathly hot, Mordecai Heller and his much more excitable, jokey and bloodthristy associates Serfafine and Nico Savoy.

The short is mostly a tense back and forth between both parties as our heroes barely surivive, we get a lot of good Ivy and Freckle content and Rocky saves the day by hyjacking a goddamn steam shovel and loading it with dynamite while waxing poetic and laughing madly. If that's not enough to get you to check it out if you haven't, I have clearly failed in some way as Lackadasiy is excellent and like Atlas and the Stars, leaves me wanting more of this cast. I'll defintely be reading the comic and plan to at least try to get the print editions coming up soon, as the pilot does a good job of showing who these characters are simply by action.. but leaving you questioning WHO they are and how they all ended up in a failing saloon, and why say Mordecai spares Ivy towards the end. Whatever it is I only want more of this, and am so happy those of you who weren't late adoptres like me helped get us a full season 1. Thank you so much and I can't wait for this show to show up here again. It's gonna be a riot and Micheael Kovach steals the show any time Rocky speaks, while SunWongCho is just... amazing as Mordecai and gives us a great antagonist to work with, a classic mystery man whose side your not sure who he's on, you just know he's a threat when he shows up.

16. Simon Petrikov (Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake, Season 1 Episode 2)

Does somebody jump for joy? Does somebody cry? Now that I'm not part of that sadness? Does somebody want me now? Now that I can’t fly? Now that I'm not part of the madness? Part of the madness?

Adventure Time: Fionna and Cake surprised the hell out of me in the best way possible. See while I never stopped caring in SOME way about adventure time, my dropping off mid series after ... THAT happened in Breezy, only coming back occasionally for an episode or two, the orgalorg arc and the finale, I really wasn't interested. I did enjoy the two episodes of Distant Lands I saw, Stakes was excellent and Together Again felt like a more fitting final chapter to the series. Both didn't feel like continuation of the story: Stakes was a coda giving us the Bubbline content CN denied us and Together Again is an Epilogue, set at the very end of Finn's story.

So I was kind of.. Meh on Fionna and Cake's announcment. I wasn't against it but I'd just never really cared about these two, with the series having made two great episodes about them (and two more I hadn't seen at the time), but the whole "created by a creepy old guy" part of it always held me back from fully embracing these two. I was badly hoping they'd throw away the whole fanfic conceit and just move on.

They didn't do that.. but Fionna and Cake not only found a way to revitalize that, but reminded me WHY the original series was so strong. Fionna and Cake grew up with the original audience, a piece about metafiction, fandom, growing up, and depression all made wonderful and really stretching the property as far as it'll go and i'ts unexpected season 2 greenlight makes me all too excited.

The thing I was most excited for though.. was still greatly done. Alongside Fionna and Cake getting a slice of life makeover thanks to Simon going back to "normal", we get some closure for Simon who ended the series seemingly fine: Betty is gone, but he's sane, Marcy gets her real dad back, job done right?

Adam Muto, Adventure Time's ep from season 6 and the archeticht of most things from Rebcca Sugar's leaving till present day, disagreed, planning a simon special for distant lands before rewriting it for this series. And it points out something a lot of fans noticed about this ending: it's.. not okay. Simon lost betty AGAIN, and is now trapped in a world he never made.

And the series makes this into his arc, how does he fit into this world, and what he tries to do to escape it instead of dealing with it. Simon Petrkiov paints a picture of where Simon's been in the 10 year time jump between Come Along With Me and his debut in this series, Simon Petrikov.. and it's a deeply depressing picture.

Simon's a living exhibit on the humans floating island, unable to connect with his fellow humans as he can't relate to them in any way shape or form. He's a 20th Century man and their 24th century men and women. Not helping is an overzealous, or sweet fan girl he keeps shooing away who just CAN'T understand that the man who wrote Fionna and Cake.. ISN'T the same guy making toast in a fake apartment and watching Cheers every day. The Ice King was PART of simon, but they were never the same person and every reminder of the hell the poor man went under, the things he did, the people he hurt just reminds Simon how far away he is from home.

Not helping is something all too common with depression and trauma, something I know all too well... Simon won't open up to people. He doesn't get help (and as we learn via a minerva bot in the finale Therapy was ALWAYS there for him), and he keeps space from the surrogate family he does have. He dosen't want to "ruin" marcy finally being in a good place and thus barely calls her, content to just visit and pretend things are okay. Finn TRIES reaching out.. but while he's older, wiser, and beardier now, and to my delight still with Huntress Wizard (and in headcanon in a throuple with Flame Princess, but that just me. ), but he's still an adrenline junky raised by a loveable manchild who can't quite relate to someone like Simon, who just wants his old life back.

All this is punctuated by the return of Rebecca Sugar, who sings the beautiful and tragic "part of the madness" which sums up where Simon is: he's normal, he's who HE wants to be.. but the world simply feels like it rejects him, when really he's just as much rejecting it. Instead of trying to find some calm in the storm of this life and admit he needs help.. he chases betty, trying badly to get her back even though it just.. isnt' possible.. and causing this series as a result. He just can't let go.. but the series shows him he has to if he wants to truly live.

15. Miraculous World Paris : Tales of Shadybug and Claw Noir (Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir World Special 4) | In the daytime, I'm Gabriel Just a normal man, with a normal life But I have a secret I must keep at any cost Or all hope will be lost. Miraculous! Fear is a cage! Hear the message, answer the call! Miraculous! Yes, you can change! The power of love will free us all! Miraculous!

Yeah after two years of watching it, Miraculous Ladybug actually made this list. I'm shocked i'ts both this high AND this good. See while i'm a fan of Miraculous Ladybug, most of the fandom is more a fan of what it could be, the potetial it'd have if Thomas Astruc hadn't been the one mostly running it for 5 seasons and running it straight into the ground into the molten core of the earth. The Recent film, while far from perfect, felt like more what the series SHOULD'VE been, with the secret id bullshit resolved by the end of what's essentially movie/season 1, Gabe given more depth etc.

So i'ts ironic that in the same year the show itself, via it's spinoff specials gives us ANOTHER universe that's way better than the mess they've made of the main timeline with Miraculous World Paris. Mirror Universes are nothing new, to the point Kev and I have a whole series on mirror universe episodes featuring this very special planned, starting later this month.

With Ladybug's lack of subtley, misuse of good ideas and goofy incompetence, I assumed this special would be at best goofy fun with overblown multiverse and mirror universe tropes. Instead... it's the single best episode of the shows run, a truly moving piece that made me enjoy mirror universes again the same way Fionna and cake has made me enjoy AU's again

Miraculous knows just the right way to make evil counterparts: instead of the earth 3 versions of Marinette, Adrien and Gabriel the complete opposites of our heroes or just "Evil, Evil and less of a prick", Shady Bug, Claw Noir and Betterfly are all the same people we've come to know, simply gone down a diffrent route. Gabe is a better person, having STARTED as his earth 1 shitheal self working with his earth's eviil shadow overlord supreme... the loss of his life somehow changing this course. Instead of using the butterfly miraculous to try and bend the world in shape to get his wife back, he honors her legacy as Betterfly, helping others, something that seems IMPOSSIBLE for our gabe to consider without an ulterior motive.. but all too plausible if he just let go of his ego and his wife and let her die in peace instead of holding her in a dome coma and fighting teens. If he accepted he can't control something

Likewise Shadybug is Mari if Alaya hadn't befriended her, if Chloe just kept bullying Mari and Mari never stood up to her, the bullying just made her worse. If her parents WEREN'T there to support her: the bakery and her room is.. but it's very clear her alternate parents just aren't the loving duo our Mari's are. This is the kind of Mari that would've easily become an akuma.. but instead becomes something WORSE thanks to Supreme, a mysterious entity linked to the guardians, very heavily implied to be earth 3 Master Wu, who gives out the miraculouses to those who can tighten his grip on earth, and selected Mari and an Adrien who never went to school and thus never got out of his shell and is even MORE distant form his dad due to Gabe's new job as his pawns.

It results in a tearful battle as our heroes are both forced to TRUST the best life version of their nemisis, and battle what easily could'e ben them, while their counterparts find out , after Shadybug tries the wish thing, that supreme was using them and their lives are being drained by overusing their powers, explaning why the regular miraculouses limit our heroes to one use of their powers and limited timing. This is what happens otherwise and Monarch is all too happy to take advantage of that. There's more to this special, a lot more I can't wait to explore in april, but needless to say Miraculous World Paris.. is what I wanted from this series: a creative, tightly told, heartbreakingly well done superhero story with tense action, creative uses of the kwamis, and good character stuff for BOTH versions of our protagonists. I'ts a true masterwork and I wish THIS is the show we got more consistently.

14. The Amazing Rudy (Bob's Burgers, Season 14, Episode 2)

"I kinda walked away on dinner with my dad and her boyfriend and dad and his vicky for the first time which I guess how family dinners are gonna be from now on and I guess technically... I ran away"

It's weird but despite my deep love of the Great North (Which for the first time since it's debut missed the list this year, but damn did it have a good one, even if season 4 had to wait for 2024), until this year I wasn't consistently watching it's sister show Bob's Burgers anymore. I liked Bob's, I loved the movie, I had nothing against it. But any time I tried to get back there'd be an episdoe that just took me out. So now while I won't watch every episode, I still watch most, as the show is good as ever, if not on a comeback after a few seasons apparently felt (if TV Tropes is a good indciator) as very hit and miss. Season 14 is fantastic and it's no surprise it's second episode ended up being one of the series best.

The Amazing Rudy is something completely different in tone and staging, with a more melancholy peanuts style soundtrack, a somber tone and more muted humor. It fits perfectly, as the episode isn't centered around the Belchers this time but Louise's best friend, future husband and morality pet Rudy. The show has had secondary character spotlights before, Rudy getting a few himself, but usually the Belchers are still front and center and one of them still plays a major role in following this character around. For instance a few episodes later we get "bully-leive it or not" a zeke spotlight episode, but one where the other three kids are still very present: Zeke and his shameful past are the focus, but Louise and Tina still figure heavily into the plot, louise nearly bullyign Zeke's former bullying victim thinking the guy bullied zeke and that's why zeke freezes up seeing the guy, while Tina guiding the kid around is what kicks things off. The two aren't the focus, but it still feels like a bobs burgers adventure, helped with a bob subplot where he grapples with Jimmy Pesto, now played by Eric Bauza after a long absence thanks to his previous actor being an insurrectionist which lets face it Jimmy totally also was or at the very least thought about before finding the air fair was too much.

Here the focus is on Rudy to the point it feels like an episode of a Rudy spinoff show that does not exist but we now all want it too. It's still in Seymour's Bay (Which I forget is the name of the town this show takes place in as mostly people we know are in wonder wharf or on ocean avenue), just following Rudy as the lead instead. The Belcher's show up, in the middle of a bob's burger's episode we'll never see about Gene getting good grades and thus getting baked potato lasagna, a recipie he made up and assumes "everyone else must enjoy" is part of the reward, with the payoff him realizing he can't force someone to love his abomination, but he CAN have their portions. Being Rudy's closest friends and future wife it makes since there the ones he talks to when he goes to the mall with his dad to get a magic trick for the night and a snappy hat when he crosses them.

The Belcher's presence also hammers home what Rudy's dealing with though and that's.. a loss of family. Rudy's Parents are divorced. This isn't a new fact as it's come up casually in the past: being the kids Teddy, i.e. the person closest to them in their age group to be clear, not the person who defintely has passed by the restraunt at night every night and just.. stares in the window. But being the kids most prominent supporting character, with Jimmy Junior and Zeke a close shared second, we've gotten to know him: his parents divorce is amnicable, he alternates weekends, and they've both moved on. We haven't really seen his mom but Rudy seems just fine with her and with his dad being his primary caregiver, is a bit closer to him, as shown in this ep as the two are adorably in synch and have their rythm.

See Rudy didn't LOOSE his mom or dad, both are still very present.. but he lost the three of them as a family and until recently had their monthly "We're still a family' dinner", what, as we learn in a heartbreaking montage i'll get too shortly, was a monthly family dinner and became a way to show that both his parents still loved him and still liked each other even if they weren't together. The problem is while a well meaning gesture, both parents have started bringing their partners, which is fair but makes it less a family dinner.. and more Rudy stuck with four adults having a hangout who accidently forget he's there. While I never went through one of these as a middle schooler when my parents broke up, I know the type of event Rudy deals with all too well: it's mostly adults, there's no one to talk to and your alone. Granted I was fine with it because I just.. read whatever book I brought anyway, but rudy is a social butterfly, an awkward awkward butterfly, so he has no idea how to handle this, or really deal with it.

His one ace in the hole is a magic trick, from his faviorite shop, the same one we saw in the magic episode way back. See while Rudy's love of being a magician is another character trait that's come up, this episode gives weight to it: Rudy got into magic not just because he dearly loves it and the person at the shop gladly mentors him and supports his talent, but it's seen in a montage of previous dinners that any time his parents started fighting, before and after divorce, a simple trick reentered the night and reminded them what's important.

Naturally the trick, done using a glass of drinking water and some tablets, goes wrong, and while Rudy's parents encourage him to try again and no one really is mad at him or upset it went wrong and spilled everywhere, he feels utterly humiliated, something we all went through as kids: you screw something up and while your parents don't make a deal out of it, you just can't. Hell I still have that problem. So combine that with already not wanting ot be here and Rudy bounces, his parents not aware he's gone.

Naturally, given the earlier setup, he bounces to the Belchers. And it's easy to see why: The Belchers are a loving, wonderful family, and Bob and Linda not only gladly let Rudy join, but engage with him in a way Rudy's parents simply forgot. Rudy's parents aren't callous... adults simply make mistakes and in likely trying ot make sure rudy's okay with both their partners being there, their partners feel good, the million other things they got going on.. they talked over Rudy. It's what makes this work: we feel for rudy, but it stings more that this isn't some problem with an easy fix. There will be plenty more dinners where he's wallpaper and plenty more times they likely forget him without meaning to. The trick COULD'VE helped.. but it failing was a reminder it was just a distraction from the fact his parent's aren't a family anymore, just two people who share a kid, loving him and caring about each other.. but what little bit of what he had before the divorce is just gone.

Brian Huskey's voice as he gives the monologue I used for this episode's quote is just heartbreaking.. you can feel the kid just.. relaizing he can't just run away from it. It's just.. how things are. HIs sad revelation of this just hits, Louise's "Oh boy", and Rudy sounds on the verge of tears.. we've seen him mad, we've seen him kinda sad.. but never like this. Just a child realizing things won't be the same and he has nothing to do but go back to it.

Thankfully as bob and linda mindly panic after realizing "oh god this child just ran and his parents don't know oh god", Louise knows what her best friends need and offers to walk him back. not only is the moment shiptastic.. it's sweet. Louise gets Rudy is having a hard time with all of this and needs some support, needs someone his own age there to talk with and to help deflect attention. And to punch out anyone on the way who tries to hurt them with brass knuckles, which naturally linda gave her as santa. After all he IS from the streets. It provides a pretty morose episode an utterly sweet ending as the two walk back, Bob couldn't be prouder, and Rudy.. for now at least.. isn't alone among his own family anymore. He may never have what he had back.. but he's gained someone pretty good along the way.

13. Watching and Dreaming (The Owl House, Season 3 Episode 3, Series Finale)

"Eda, King, Thank you for Everything" "Right Back atcha kiddo" "Weirdos?" "Weirdos"

The Owl house was the best show of the 2020's and while it had some stiff compettion this year, it still hasn't been surpassed. It was hilarious, had a wonderfully built messed up world with lots of thought, deep character arcs, and was sadly cut short way too soon, but will never leave the hearts of those of us who loved it.

So thankfully they stuck the landing, as Watching and Dreaming was a worthy conclusion to the series. After the decent but easily weakest of the three season 3 specials "For the Future", Watching and Dreaming is a nicely packed finale that wraps up the series wonderfully and while it leaves me wanting only MORE, MORE DAMN YOU MORE, as the series always had, it's a good note to end on while Dana gets the hell out of mouseton for a while.

It was also the last episode of a show I covered as it came out, with an attempt to do so with legend of vox machina adding way too much to my work load this year to really work out, and as a finale to that.. it was just as welcome.

Watching and Dreaming spends it's first third on the Collector, and while there is a bit of disconnect between what he puts our heroes through and where he left off, with Luz once again hving her anxieties reinforced via a horrifying puppet show, the show quickly recovers as the big three are reunited after two long episodes and several long months in and out of universe: Luz has her other mom and little brother back, Eda has her kids back and King has her family back. We also get a quick show of just how far they've come since the pilot as each one easily bodies the collector's games... and leaves him wondering why they won't play fair, why this isn't working. It takes three people who had to learn their lessons the hard way through tears, isolation and learning their life was a lie, to teach the boy god empathy and unveil that at his heart.. he's just a kdi who REALLY didn't know what he was doing was awful.

Unfortunately just as the collector learns friendship, belos POSSESS THE TITAN'S CORPSE ITSELF and plans to do .. something.. genocidey and after an attempt to just forgive him fails, the only thing our heros have is each other, with Luz's friends aka our other heroes busy saving allt he puppets with their new starry pjamaed pal.

Luz gets a last minute somewhat asspully upgrade, but it's all three together that defeats belos. It's an epic finale but one that nicely focuses on who Dana intended as the core of the series: a child who found her place in another world and learned responsibility and to forgive herself, a witch who learned to forigve and let others in, and a titan who learned empathy, all kicking that blobs ass. And then curb stomping it. It's a moving, fast paced, excellently animated finale with a fun time skip epilogue to tie it all together. Owl House may be gone... but it'll never be forgotten.

12. Army of the Doomstar (Metalocalypse, Finale Movie)

"I am a wheel in the gear of the Klok. I feel not my mortality".

The other adult swim finale movie this year and the one that had the harder road. While Venture Bros got it's movie offer at the same time as cancelation, it took Brendon Small a decade, a whole ass album designed to be as close to a finale as he could get without a lisence and a LOT of campaning to finish his story to get here. Metalocalypse ended just as the final verse of blood, metal and stupidity was about to be written, and it was thanks to Small and the Fans themselves that we finally got it with this movie.

Army wraps up 4 seasons and another movie, a movie I dearly loved when it came out and still do, with an epic. It's darker in tone as the metalocalypse that begun at the start of the series is almost here and Nathan Explosion has a full on existential crisis trying to write the song that will save the world, having no idea how and not helped by his disasterous attempted propsoal to abigail while on a lot of wine and xanax (Props to small for ending a pretty disliked subplot exactly the way it shoudl without just.. tossing it out for time or some shit AND making it tie perfectly into the plot). The films dives into the overexpecations we put on creatives to MAKE US MORE DAMMIT, and how hard that actually is.. but also how fans.. are something to treasure and not spit in their face as our heroes have the whole series, seeing them more as parasites than people.

It maintains the series ballance of having an epic story.. but not sugarcoating that these guys are fucking morons with Nathan charging into a funeral on xanax and telling everyone, Pickels having ot literally be everyone's mom, and Pickles ordering a last meal fo rnathan of cool ranch diritos and choclate milk. The shows as goofy as ever, but adds a heart that's been only glimpsed on occasion as our heroes are allergic to feelings, as our heroes must save the world. We also get some kickass metal music as always, with SOS being a standout, giving us one last awesome dethklok performance and song as our heroes rally the world to show them their not alone.. and they never were. An epic, hilarious, and well done film that manages to cover all the bases it needs to and wrap everything up in 96 minutes. Pretty brutal.

11. The World Vs Scott Pilgrim (Scott Pilgrim Takes off Episode 6, Series Finale)

"Hey, because I'll have a lot of trouble saying it later, let me say it now: I love you, Scott. And I run away from the thing that I love. But what I've done in the past doesn't have to define me. Help me keep remembering that, okay?"

Scott Pilgrim Takes Off was a thrilling watch but there was one worry I had as it went.. sticking the landing. It set up a compelling mystery, to the point I genuinely wasn't sure who would kidnap scott as while the twins DID have to show up and were likely involved.. it just didn't fit that it was them. It being their robot who being a robot has never eaten anything, thus never eaten meat and would have none of the bilogicial weaknesses of a human, was brilliant as it is hilarious bonkers.

Who sent the robot.. was even better as it turned out to be Scott himself, a twist that told me everything was going to be alright. Specifically this is a scott who lived what this story would've been: Scott beats the exes, gets the girl, and they have a happy relationship and then marriage for 15 years, having become their best selves. The thing the series challenges though .. is if they can STAY better versions of themselves. It's something the other versions didn't really WANT to poke at because it makes the ending less happy: if they don't end up together, what's the point of all this. Yet.. relatoinships break up. Hope Larson, the real life inspriation for Ramona, divorced Brian Lee O Malley. The relationship COULD fail and where would that leave them.

As it turns out.. not great as Ramona bailed when it got hard while being vauge as usual, and Scott spiraled hard into his worst habits, moving in with wallace, again, and rather than figure out where he wen twrong.. wanted to hit undo on what he felt was a sunk cost, a relationship he put his heart into only for it to seemingly fail, even if he still had a chance to save it. Hence the brilliant and only not making this list because this year was paccckkked with good episodes, 2 Scott 2 Pilgrim before this. It also helps the takes off scott spedrun his charater development as future him is everything Scott tries to ignore about himself, his laziness, selfishness, short sightentess and very stupid brain, as a person he really can't ignore because that person kidnapped him because he took a joke Wallace made seriously.

So Scott naturally motors with the help of Future Wallace and Older Ramona, who was indeed the sleep paralysis demon and like her ex husband really sucks at plans, but gives Scott a lift home. So.. everything good? Ramona Grew, Scott Grew, Scott acknowlegeds he never should've dated a literal teenager... we goo dright? Right?

Thing is as this episode reveals midway through... Older Scott REALLY didn't want his past self to take the gamble that he could do it the right way and instead of giving himself tips.. gave himself anti kissing nanites so he and ramona can't kiss, the two naturally thinking it's the exes. We get a great opening here as scott confronts each of them, having only kinda witnessed their changes.. and most don't care. Even Gideon's moved on to Julie, his perfect match and a pariing I can't belivie I love and fits perfectly: their both the worst, and together their awful. Brilliant.

The two seemingly don't solve things.. but thankfully Old Scott is more than willing to show his hand.. as even older scott. Even Older Scott is terrifying, taking some of Scott's good traits.. and making them into something nightmarish. After his failure to change the future, not considering that

Instead looses his mind, training himself in video games and the martial arts for 10 years, all to counter everything his friends and the exes can do... all so he can KILL EVERY LAST ONE. Scott's worst nightmare across all realities has come to past, he's an evil ex.. and the evilest ex of all. Well in terms of power and madness, Gideon still put a bunch of women in jars because they broke up with him who Matt hopefully let out in this timeline.

We get a great fight as the utterly jacked, utterly terrifying even older scott, who nicely resembles evil ryu from street fighter and has pixel effects ala movie!gideon, cleans house, with Ramona wondering if she should just.. leave all this. It's only realizing that's literally all she does that gets her to realize she want sto fight for this, even if it ends poorly, and Scott, already all in, helps her.

Ultimately it's not the duo who win their future this time.. but Ramona's own future, what could be, even older ramona, saving her past self via fusion, a super mode (Just like Sonic 2.. or 3.. or dragon ball.), and some words of encouragment, giving EOS another chance and Scott the beautiful words above.

It's a powerful message and one that's real: it's hard to change.. but it's even harder to get change to stick. You just have to keep remembering it.. and keep trying. No matter how bad things seem.. you can make it better.

This is all helped by the beautiful ending, a pixel version of god only knows as everyone, exes now included, gets to live their best life and we last see Ramona as she dons what we finally find to be her natural hair color, blond (with some highlights because, hey, it looks badass), ready to face the future)... and the best worst couple hyping a sequel that will never happen, but frankly it'd be werider if they didn't, A truly spectacular finale to what may be the best version of this story.

#scott pilgrim takes off #lackadaisy #atlas and the stars #metalocalypse #the venture bros #the owl house #bobs burgers #miraculous ladybug #animation #2023 #best of 2023

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