#that she’s a fucking force you know?

[ofalltheginjoints]

I think at this point max and lucas are the only romantic relationship I care about

that’s literally so valid of you, bestie, i wish i could say the same however i am unfortunately very emotionally invested in jonathan and nancy’s relationship as well 😔

#lucas and max are the best they’re literally everything & their relationship is keeping me afloat don’t get me wrong #but jonathan is just like . a special little guy to me #and nancy wheeler. she just deserves the whole goddamn world i think #and its like- oh i want them to work but also i want them to mutually break up #but oh no not like that they’re breaking up for the wrong reasons and please theyre so good for each they mesh so well #but also they have so much to work on!!! #like. you know? #im stealing from dils here but like. #nancy is jonathan’s rock bc he NEEDS a rock- he’s the rock for both will and joyce #and steve WANTS to be nancys rock but nancy doesn’t need one!! #nancy who has been underestimated and pigeonholed her whole life has proven time and time again that she can stand on her own two feet #that she’s a fucking force you know? #she doesn’t need protecting! what she needs is support and someone who knows she’s fully capable #and i just don’t think steve can do that #this is not say that jonathan is like. weak or too emotionally dependent on nancy - but jonathan literally doesn’t have a support system bc #he’s his family support system #and nancy can be someone’s support system. #also they’re just cute idk what to tell u :/ #sorry for the rant #also dils u are allowed to add on or remove urself from the narrative- i went my own direction with it a lil but #asks #anon #st

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

wormie wormie wormie wormi-

#tiny little guy!!! teeny thing!!! #i imagine that wormie acts kinda like a cat mixed with a crow #also she Violently wiggles her whole body when she sees barnaby. thank you for coming to my ted talk #fully convulsing. acting as though she's jello in a centrifuge #and she Does Not Stop until she is held so barnaby has to figure out how to pick her up w/o hurting her #its very amusing in my mind... hes laughing his ass off as she flops all over the place #she doesnt make noise except for very brief quiet squeaks!! #also wormie is not technically female. no one knows what the fuck she is if anything #but barnaby started referring to her with feminine terms and it Stuck #kinda like finding a cool object and going 'oh she's neat' #yeah like that! #wormie lore hidden in the fantasy au... #scribble salad #wh fantasy au #im melting picturing barnaby holding her by the 'handle' #he commissioned the harness himself... made out of the same leather as his gloves! & the same etched design as his boots! #guys im so soft thinking about them.... barnaby and his little pet worm... #i imagine he teaches her tricks... carries her on his hat.... baby talks her cause she's just that tiny how could he not.... #im picturing a Scenario where barnaby full speed full force bodyslams eddie who was just walkin along #like Full Force. eddie flies back ten feet and leaves a groove in the dirt when he lands - everyone goes Hey What The Fuck Barn?! #but as soon as he does it barnaby is rushing over like 'omfg im so sorry but i had to - you were about to step on wormie'

[mayasaura]

I just want to talk about the nursery being painted and the purpose of the Tomb to be without a door. Anastasia had a family - and putting to the side the pact with Alecto there's some implicit symbolism to John asking for the workers of the Ninth to die constructing the Tomb with that image of new life. (Still can't articulate my disbelief that he went and didn't think that asking Anastasia of all people, The one who lost her cavalier to him, would have problems)

Yeah. Especially finding this out about the Ninth, where nurseries becoming tombs is a thing we're sensitive about.

On one level we've always known Anastasia had a family. Like, we know she's Harrow's direct ancestor. You can't be heir to the line of someone who never had children. But the nursery.... Yeah. It really hammers it in. Her friends painted a nursery mint green for her children.

And now it's a tomb.

#that's what the Anastasian is now after all #you're right there's really Something there #I've noticed something in John I think ties into this thematically that I really hope Kiriona is going to help us explore #John doesn't believe in a future #I said in my last Anastasia meta that Anastasia outsmarted John by making herself immortal in a way he couldn't understand #she left behind something she created to outlast her #John hasn't built anything to outlast himself and he doesn't think of the future at all #he mourns the past and fights like hell to live in an eternal present where nothing ever ends #you know #immortality #and a part of that—maybe most of that—is about despair #even way back before the world ended even before he had magic powers he didn't think of a future #I think he couldn't imagine one #and like. I get it dude #don't imagine the future and maybe it can't hurt you #how many people have you heard saying they don't want children because it seems cruel or irresponsible #they can't imagine forcing someone to live in the world they see coming #climate anxiety is fucking everywhere and for a lot of people in our generation—John's generation—it's coalesced into despair #but Anastasia did imagine a future #she had a family #and now John has a daughter but he still can't imagine a future for her #she's just as dead and eternal as the world he loved so deeply he killed it rather than watch it die #what did Gideon say when she saw the First? it had the look of a picked-over body but hot damn what a beautiful corpse #that's gonna be you baby girl #the final expression of the art of the nine houses #John gave up on hope ages ago #so it doesn't really surprise me at all that he still asked the builders to die in the tomb #the locked tomb #ntn spoilers #nona the ninth

[i-will-always-love-the-jedi]

„Jeweled diadem gifted by Stellan and Elzar“

Of course, that could have been simply a sweet gesture BUT making it angsty is so much better in my opinion

Because imagine Avar Kriss, a telepath so powerful she always hears so so much -enough for it to physically hurt her- being unable to keep her mental walls up because her energy is already drained… and imagine Elzar Mann and Stellan Gios, researching in the archives for weeks, finding the slightest hint of something that could help and then proceeding to forge the focus with their own hands… :ˋ)

…

#and now it’s as if they are protecting her every time she wears it #‚Avar Kriss can hear all Jedi and the force is like music for her‘ #and then they try telling me she never gets overstimulated by it #or headaches #bffr #anyways it’s okay now cuz her besties helped her out #also i love drawing baby firebrands #Stellan is like 16 in this and the other two are even younger #also idk if anyone noticed but Elzar is smaller than stellan >:) #cuz nothing is more hilarious to me than the ‚elzar is the smallest firebrand‘ hc #anyways the next book is coming out RIGHT IN MY EXAM PHASE #fuck You Star Wars #now I have to choose between Avar Kriss and Elzar mann or passing my semi finals #-_- #we all know what I’m gonna pick #firebrands friday #the high republic #avar kriss #stellan gios #elzar mann

[bougiebutchbitch]

cuddy ilu but have you maybe considered pranking House by putting clingfilm over his toilet seat or glitter bombing him rather than playing ‘trip the cripple’ and forcing the guy with chronic pain who’s not very steady on his feet to walk up multiple flights of stairs

#yes yes I know Wilson sawed through his cane that one time BUT in fairness House was GOADING HIM ON PURPOSE #for AGES #to try to FORCE him to retaliate in some big dramatic way #and he fucking LOVED it when Wilson did that #he would've let Wilson fuck him right there on the floor #look at his smile in that scene and tell me otherwise I DARE YOU #this........ really isn't that?? It's 'House was annoying and Cuddy is frustrated so she takes it out on him in immature ways' #which is fun!! I love that Cuddy doesn't always have to be the perfect sensible one #but also.................. as A Disabled...... mmmmmm #in short: love the idea of Cuddy descending to House's level and playing pranks on him #but ones that are specifically taking advantage of his disability? yikes.

[homosekularnost]

pov youre having another meeting with the annoying academics & this person in the back looks kinda familiar

#im abt to reread network effect just for this does she know what it looks like???? do you think shell ever find out what happened????? #my dream for leonide is for system collapse to irrevocably alter her worldview and she finds herself unable to do her work as efficiently #cause shes constantly wondering what the secunits are thinking about the people etc etc she starts trying to make conversation with them #she ends up getting rescued by mbs humans again when the secunits take over the be ship and leave her on some colony #and then when shes unemployed (because she lost sm equipment or whatever) and forced to take up a job at pumnt they do tell her #& then she doesnt talk to anyone for twenty days #(also shes fucking. like so much.) (<- in any fic writer is taking inspo. please note) #the murderbot diaries #system collapse #system collapse spoilers #leonide #three #my art

[lollytea]

The Blight family are so interesting IN THEORY. In execution they are....😬

#i dont mean that like. theyre flawed characters #i LOVE flawed characters. nothing i love more than seeing some messy toxic bitches do messy toxic bitch things #i love the exploration of unhealthy family dynamics #i love the trope of a rich shiny perfect family who are secretly fucked up and miserable #i love the kind of characters that environment creates #whether it be gaslighting gatekeeping girlbossing assholes #or people who are desperately trying to be good. or to break away from the role theyve been forced into #or people who are in a little more of a grey area. people who have a good side and a shitty side #its all fun and interesting #the problem with the blights is their characterization is just so....clunky. sloppy. not very good #alador amity and the twins all suffer from inconsistent writing #alador is a complex case to delve into. and you dont wanna listen to me dissecting him #so ill just say that he could have been handled better #ironically Odalia is the most consistently written character of them all #shes very surface level evil. shes not very interesting #I enjoy Odalia. I think she's funny in just how unapologetically shitty she is #and her VA gives such an entertaining performance #but she is like. Hollow. There is nothing going on with her other than abusive mom and capitalist #but by god at least she knows what shes about

[jfkisonthemoon]

they honestly couldve done so much with junpei beheaded/dismembered and im disappointed that it ended up just being mira. so much of his character and his relationship with akane is characterized by his lack of bodily autonomy, and him being openly beheaded during the nonary games would be the ultimate example of this. its perhaps the most brutal death in the game, and it never really gets explained or developed beyond the one puzzle that we get with it. junpei has been shown repeatedly to be subject to akane's plans or follow her blindly and i just think that would have been a really interesting angle to approach his beheading from. junpei has willingly signed up for nonary games in two different timelines just because he knew he would see her. he was infected with a deadly virus trying to find her. he grew desensitized to death as he took underground jobs to try and find her. his safety always comes second when shes in the picture, and his beheading wouldve been a prime opportunity to 1. exploit his willingness to let himself die/be injured for her and 2. make akane confront the fact that her confidence that junpei will always follow after her is not necessarily a positive thing.

#zero escape #additionally wasnt mira supposed to be asleep?? like i know she didnt get the forget juice but didnt she still get knocked out? #but also!! none of her other kills were like that! none of them were dismembered and she didnt touch junpeis chest #so even that reasoning doesnt make sense #kinda feels like a copout to keep the shock of junpei being disrespected in such a way - to have his very body turned into a puzzle #a puzzle that akane is forced to solve!!! without knowing that what shes looking for is his head - him! #theres so much potential there and they just didnt do anything #im not even saying that akane should have somehow been responsible for that death - only that not having her really grapple with it is such #a missed opportunity #i still fucking LOVE the imagery of it though. i really think its the epitome of the representations of his lack of autonomy #he loses all of vlr. quark. 45 years of his life. because akane decides this is best for him. he dies repeatedly trying to find her. #because she believes that she knows what will keep him safe #and turning junpeis body into a puzzle posthumously is a fantastic example of his lack of control over his body #its like hes literally become a doll. hes jumpydoll - not junpei. hes subject to these games even after he has died. #he gets no peace. no respect in his death. not when hes in these games. not when hes in the shadow of akanes whims and games. #i still love the imagery. i think it was one of my favorite parts of ztd and is honestly now a core tenet of my Junpei Understanding #but i was disappointed in the lack of narrative weight that specific death had. for him to be one of the first dead? for it to be in such a #brutal manner? like come ON. the character analysis for junpei and akane and their relationship is RIGHT THERE. all you had to do was put i #in the game #but nope. #they just handwave it as something mira did. #and dont bring up the details ever again because. plot point solved? #anyway. ive been thinking about junpei imagery and bodily autonomy a lot. obviously. #zero escape spoilers #mak no peeking #marydontlookatthis

[scopophobia-polaris]

Honestly could we throw out the idea that totk's story issue is that it isn't consistent with the lore of the older games but instead drops intresting world building from botw because it might have gotten actually dark

#seriously eveeyone keeps up bring up the triforce not being the same like the older games instead of HEY why DOES the royal family just..... #have it #like all of it #and was the sheikah tech from the last game that functions the same was as light arrows/the biden blast was uh #how do i put this #how did they weaponize lightmagic in robots and does this all tie in with the “banishment” thing #or idk dropped point from botw zelda's fucking chracter arc #i know it ended with LOOOK!!!! YOU FUCKED UP BY DOING WHAT YOU THOUGHT WAS RIGHT #But damn they could of just not done that shit in totk making her just the #what was jt #idk man they just keep taking away her agency #man and it sucks cuz the dragon is so cool but mf shes forced to do it what she gonna do stay in the past and DIE? #idk man it just all feels hasty. makes me sad #and it sucks cuz a lot of shit shit is really cool and intresting but man idk i may become a botw zelda deserved a better weiter for her #becuase girl she needs a break. not saying chracters cant go through hardship #but there is something so nasty about the framing of youll never be anything but eveey past princess zelda trope and nothing more #instead of a crystal she turns into a dragon like guys this is the same as skyward sword but idk man is it werd to say #when Hylia does it aginst a thing that wants to steal the god triangles and is also a god its like yeah you had no other choice #how the fuck did one fuckass stone make ganondorf into a god like being you would think that like #mannwhy are the stones THAT powerful and why werent the other bitches able to take them down what because #did #did rauru give sonia the equivalent of the one ring at their wedding hey wait a fuck #sorry for all my spelling mistakes but what the fuck man

[saturnaous]

finding a distinct lack of weed related things in fma. I got my posts back so in the spirit of 420 I’m offering this doodle from the other day ‼️ go smoke some weed

#fullmetal alchemist #fma #fmab #fma brotherhood #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #alphonse elric #edward elric #elric brothers #lou is an artist #anyways. I think uhhhhh. Mustang smokes weed but cannot do anything for himself. he doesn't have a dealer and can't roll for the life of hi #he has to get hawkeye to get him everything. she also rolls for him #and edward and al. al can roll both joints and blunts and ed can barely roll a joint #he rolls the worst little blunts and gets alphonse to pack bowls for him #he can get weed tho. he's friendly enough with most people to know how to get to a weed person from basically anywhere. al cannot. #ALSO I had this really really REALLY stupid idea of like. hohenheim fucking growing weed based on my own dad. in his study or whatever #I thought it was SOOO funny and they try sneaking in bc they're not allowed and BAM. face full of marijuana. funny as fuck to me #uhhhh. idk. I think I'm funny. #also PSA if you don't know already!!! blunts and joints are different bc of the papers they use. blunts have cigar wraps #and joints use cigarette paper !! they also have different techniques ig. I haven't wrapped a blunt but they're supposed to be more #brute forced and joints use more finesse says my brother the in-house stoner. well the main one at least

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Sunny my life my love my deranged little puppet from my brain

#she is so.... Transedgendered in her own special way #i realized her stitches look like top surgery stitches #however she never had a top to surgery #but somehow it still fits??? it makes Sense considering her background and personal lore #puppets are just so genderfucked <3 #scribble salad #forced idiots <3 #oc #original character #i didnt expect to get so attached to her!!! #i thought i was gonna discard her honestly! i thought she wouldnt Last in my brain! #but now she's irreversibly woven into the narrative #she's Important #also i just plain love her! #she's a huge opportunity to fuck with perception/flexibility of gender & sex & humanity & uhhhh whats the word??? life role??? #your place in life??? what you Do???? you know what i mean??? #its the making peace with yourself! accepting your role!! #she's making me unwell! #also she has retractable teeth <3 #was actually the second thing i thought of for her #literally the Exact Reason was because i imagined one of her fellow companions smacking her upside the head #and a full set of chompers Extended. they got knocked right out of her! chonk canines and everything!! #and then i figured out it ties into her journey and 'corruption' and oauasgasfja sundown summer you are my everything

[rakkikuroba]

Was like "was the relation between Sarevok and Helena rape or consensual?" But it’s like hinted everywhere that it wasn’t consensual and it’s sad? Like he either manipulated his daughter for sex (like he manipulated her to kill Orin) or he forced her which in both way, isn’t consensual sex.

Also even if it was consensual there is an unbalanced power dynamic between them which makes it fucked up anyways.

On another note do you think Gortash prayed to every gods, like Astarion, in the hope one of them would free/help him and the only one that answered was Bane?

I like how Larian studios didn’t make the big evil three evil with no contrast. They’re supposed to be the inverse if you? Like you are breaking the cycle of abuse, by not letting Astarion ascend, by making Lae’zel free her people from Vlaakith, etc.

But they didn’t. They keep the cycle of abuse in place. Ketheric is devasted by the death of his wife and kid yet he continues to break family by killing innocent.

Gortash was a slave with no freedom and when he got it back, he enslaved people.

Orin was manipulated by Sarevok all her life, and by killing the Durge on his orders and not turning on Sarevok, she keeps the cycle of abuse in place.

#who even cares #me a little #don’t come tell me: actually Orin is just fucked she kills because she likes it that’s all! #YES SHE LIKES TO KILL but she didn’t kill her mom or the durge for fun she was forced she says it! she did everything for HIM for Sarevok #orin has a much free will as Gortash did as a slave!! #orin wouldn’t have been born the way she was she would have been a gruesome artist #the only part where she has free will is how she disposes of the bodies you know making them all doll #orin the red #sarevok anchev #bg3 #enver gortash

[weregonnabecoolbeans]

This week’s episode brought me more joy than you can possibly imagine

#Welcome Asajj Ventress to the How The Fuck Are You Not Dead…Shouldn’t You Be Dead?!?! Club #Other members include: #obi wan kenobi #ahsoka tano #darth maul #anakin skywalker #and unfortunately…sheev #The How The Fuck Are You Not Dead…Shouldn’t You Be Dead?!?! Club is happy to have you #anyways…where’s your husband? #I know he’s alive so..where is he!?! #I read your book and now I love you two so I deserve some closure #Where. Is. Quinlan!!! #in my mind they spent the entire twenty years of empire bullshit going around the galaxy saving baby force sensitives #omega was the beginning #also did this episode make Omega disaster lineage adjacent? #i’m gonna say it did because i think the more that lineage grows the more the galaxy suffers and its honestly funny at this point #the bad batch #the bad batch spoilers #the bad batch season 3 spoilers #the bad batch season 3 #tbb #sw the bad batch #star wars #the clone wars #dark disciple #asajj ventress #quinlan vos #tbb omega #also i know that she hasn't been one for a while now but ventress is also apart of #Formerly Darth...Now just Maul's Former Sith Club

[vanhelsingapologist]

Strahdposting (with possible spoilers so tread lightly)

One of the worst things about Strahd in our campaign is that he's not overtly forced anyone to do anything. His underlings have, sure, but never him. He just waits for us to eliminate our options all on our own, and then presents us with his way. And of course, his way is the easiest. He'll even make it easier. We keep falling into the pit because he ensures we dig it ourselves.

We're almost past the point where he wants to bargain with us and I'm nervous about what happens when he stops being the devil we know and becomes something else altogether.

The recent reveal that there were other parties before ours has been so shattering for us, I think, because it made us all realize that our party is an amusement until it is an inconvenience, and then we'll be insects in the garden that have overstayed our welcome. And then he'll start with the force.

#even when Demetria was kidnapped #we only SAY kidnapped because Volenta did it and Strahd got to play hero about the whole thing #Every subsequent time she went to Ravenloft was on a bargain. #we're so past the wining and dining phase that it's unreal #but he'd convinced a party member to turn traitor and is moving in on another because he knows we work better being coaxed #barovia is so so scary and you know what? vampire castle supreme seems real nice sometimes. #in terms of power i was specifically thinking of when he found out we resurrected leo and collected him after 3 business days #he only used force after we acted first #and then was all “look what you made me do.” #good fucking god #and obviously #it's control while maintaining the illusion of culpability on our part. but it works. oh... does it work. #i know some DMs have him being very traditionally forceful and i think that's a great interpretation #because the first strahd game i was in leaned heavy into that #but i think our strahd in this game uses vampire-as-seduction in an extraordinarily cool way. #i had the same DM for both and i think this version is some fine fine work. #curse of strahd spoilers #cos: the sorority

[dootznbootz]

I went on tiktok to just watch some silly Odysseus videos but then I mostly saw people going like "Yeah, maybe Odysseus cried on Calypso' island every day but honestly he had that coming after what he did Achilles and Patroclous/Circe!!!" and "Everything that happens in Odyssey is deserved cuz he took Patrochilles to war!!!" and "I feel so bad for Circe and Calypso and Penelope, they deserved better!!!"

For fucks sake I beg you, read anything different from Millers bs and like educate yourself- And please stop goddamn saying that rape victim. deserved it.

Circe probably didn't give a flying fuck, Calypso is a rapist and abuser and Penelope deserved everything she wanted and SHE WANTED ODYSSEUS

I think I've had enough internet for today, imma go wash my eyes with bleach. Anyways sorry for ranting here, i hope you don't mind it lmao

It's alright. I absolutely understand the vents about the whole thing. :'D No one deserves to be a victim of such a thing no matter WHAT they've done. I hope your eyes are okay after the bleach

Like Odysseus does so many fucked up things but Calypso and Circe? He is the victim. Period. It's very clear that Odysseus is in extreme distress on Ogygia. And Circe wasn't some sort of FwB situation. There's fear and numbness in the language he uses when talking about it. There's so much victim blaming and it SUCKS.

While back then it probably wouldn't be considered SA but now? It clearly is.

Even then, Odysseus' journey was kind of about "temptation" or just straight up "Die or get out of my sea." From Poseidon. "I don't want you in my waters so I'm gonna try and give you things that will keep you on land or just kill you."

Immortal goddesses wanting you would be many people's dream come true but not for Odysseus. And I think that's the point. His determination, how he clawed his way back into the arms he never wanted to leave in the first place, is incredible. Many people would've given up and just started a new life but he never would because no life he could ever create would compare to the life he had before. Even if it's different, it's what he's always wanted.

He literally tells Calypso "I'm not stopping until I'm home. I don't care if I suffer more until I do. I'm going home."

“Mighty goddess, do not be angry with me over this. I myself know very well Penelope, although intelligent, is not your match                                          to look at, not in stature or in beauty. But she’s a human being and you’re a god. You’ll never die or age. But still I wish, every moment to get back to my home,                                                       to see the day of my return. And so, even if out there on the wine-dark sea some god breaks me apart, I will go on— the heart here in my chest is quite prepared to bear affliction. I’ve already had so many troubles, and I’ve worked so hard                                  through waves and warfare. Let what’s yet to come be added in with those.”

(Book 5, Johnston)

Circe's a goddess and what happened is nothing like Dionysus and Ariadne and Apollo and Hyacinthus for example. Circe never gave Odysseus a crown of stars and he would never go out of his way to kill 120 people for bothering her. They did not love each other and he can't refuse as she's a goddess.

If you interpret them sleeping together the entire year,(It's only explicitly said that they had sex once so that's what I go with personally.) that doesn't mean he was happy with it! Even then, the whole situation is not what a healthy FwB should look like! I'm asexual and even I know that no one in a FwB situation should have to BEG in any way that basically says "Please let me go or kill me" with supplication!!! The fact that he leaves so quickly he forgets one of his men? The fact that during Elpenor's funeral, he doesn't greet Circe himself? He was avoiding her. Wouldn't he want to get "one last night together" during Book 12 if they were fwb? 🙄

It's bonkers to me that people hate him for being a "cheater" when A.) having multiple lovers wasn't uncommon in Ancient Greece, and B.) the two people he is explicitly said to have "cheated" with, weren't his choice. He wasn't actively searching for pretty women either!!!

As mentioned, while it was common for men to have many lovers, Odysseus never had any listed unlike some of the other men. (not bashing any of them. I'm just making a point in comparison.) He also has no other children besides Telemachus in Homer's works. There's no evidence of him having other lovers other than speculation. (funny enough, I once read somewhere that the reason why Odysseus is so mean is because he doesn't "bond" enough with the other soldiers. 😂)

Does that mean he didn't have other lovers? Technically, Nope! It's just never explicitly stated either way. He has slaves but none were ever said to be concubines or that he sleeps with them. He has deep bonds with his fellow soldiers but that doesn't mean he sleeps with them. That doesn't mean people can't write or talk about him doing so even though it's not mentioned! Just like it also means that someone can write him not doing so as there's nothing that says it either way in Homer's Works! :D

It's fucked up when people say "He didn't try to leave Calypso enough" or something of the like. It just tells you how A.) they didn't read the Odyssey or have piss on the poor reading comprehension or B.) ...you should probably stay away from that person...

With Circe though??? I can understand the confusion but digging deeper and looking at the text, he wasn't having a good time. Or at the very least was walking on Eggshells the whole time. I hate bringing up that essay over and over again but like...I literally wrote everything there.

I also don't like how people take Circe's morally gray-ness away from her. Let her do something fucked up to be fucked up!!! Let her traumatize Odysseus!

Idk, I kind of hate that I'm "known" for this but I relate to this idiot asshole a lot and it means a lot to me that his story, despite what happens to him, has a happy ending :'D

#Thank goodness I don't have tiktok >:) #I wish there was a way to like. have anonymous posts? because I made that PTSD post to show how him refusing to be bathed #by Nausica's maids and him choking Euryclea and was giving reference to make a point but I wish I wasn't like. Known for this??? #but like... I HAVE something to say. Having specific knowledge of some things just...really makes it clear in what happened that I don't #think others have considered. #And I was afraid if I was “vague” then people would say “You're just saying that to get sympathy points” and I didn't want to deal with #that :'D plus like in his outbursts I saw myself you know? #I just kept thinking “oh shit. I KNOW what you're doing because I did it too aAAAAAHHHHHHHHh” #I relate to Helen too but in a way. The Odyssey shows her “HEALED” (which fuck yeah!!! YESSS!!!😭) it doesn't show the #PTSD in the same way as she's had many years to recover. Watching it happen in “real time” for Odysseus was...really nice. #i said it before but the Odyssey feels REAL compared to the “girlboss queen slay” shit. Him tryiing to force himself into normalcy #only to act out is...yeah. #save me morally gray circe #ask #anon #Mad rambles #tw sa #tw ptsd #tw sex assault #anti madeline miller #anti circe #essay

[zerodaryls]

it's so funny (read: sad) that if bigoted fuckheads didn't insist i was a woman simply by virtue of my body at birth, i'd probably be chill with she/her pronouns in addition to he/they. if my mom didn't insist i was her daughter, i'd probably let her call me that, and we could still have a relationship.

i'm nonbinary and 'gendered' words are hypothetically meaningless, but because there are so many people who are more interested in telling me who i am rather than lovingly and curiously letting me express my own sense of self, those words carry trauma.

there's no reason a nonbinary person like myself can't be a son and a child and a daughter. there's no reason a nonbinary person like me can't go by he, they, and she.

'she' is not a slur. 'daughter' is not derogatory. 'beautiful' 'pretty' 'gorgeous' 'feminine' are not insults.

to the contrary, they're parts of language that express certain facets of a multi-faceted human existence, like mine.

and i have this sad, mournful feeling that if it weren't for unloving, condescending people, i'd probably be down to be called any of those things alongside my usual masculine/neutral terminology.

but i'd rather die than let anyone tell me what i have to be called.

#i try to reclaim 'feminine' words for myself in private #calling myself 'babygirl' when i need to chill out. or saying i feel pretty. or going 'she needs help' when i'm struggling lmao. #but there's still so much fucking trauma in those words from the people who've forced them on me #who've snarled in my face that GOD made me ONE THING and ONE THING ONLY and that's a WOMAN (stepdad) #who've guilted me for taking their precious perfect daughter away as if i'm fucking dead (mother) #who've mocked me and everyone like me as if we're not the experts on our own sense of self (general transphobic public) #like. i'm not a fucking man. i'm not a fucking woman. i'm nonbinary. gender is absurdity as a concept. i'm done with it. #but being called a man or a son or a guy or 'he' or WHATEVER in that vein is fine and dandy because i've never had anyone say #'that is all you can EVER be'. or worse: 'that is what GOD made you to be and you have a ROLE to fill' #(christianity pls die approximately yesterday thanku 💖) #so yeah. idk. ranting yet again about Cis Audacity. #the complete lack of empathy. the lack of curiosity even. #the condescending bullshit. the 'i understand you better than you do'. the fucking AUDACITY. #i am the expert on myself. i am the ONLY expert on myself. period. no contest. not a debate. #i understand myself better than anyone else is CAPABLE of understanding me. #i could call myself 'she' and understand that i meant it in a nonbinary way. #in fact i could even see myself letting other trans people call me feminine terms at some point in the future. when i've healed more. #but cis people? probably not. they can call me 'he' or 'they' or they can fuck off & never get to know me because they don't wanna know ME #/end rant #any terfs/bigots that try to touch this post will be swiftly blocked and quite possibly cursed. have the day you deserve <3