#the best ppl I know just come like ‘I know you’re running some sort of experiment and you’ll tell me the results at some point’ when I ask

[cyyfics]

I LOVED your Simon headcannons!!! Could I request gender neutral reader giving Simon a Blowjob? I just generally imagine him all whiny and needy. Like he gets an involuntary erection and the reader helps him out <33

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Accidents Happen

Pairing: !Simon Petrikov x GN! reader

C! Warning(s): NSFW!, blowjobs, overstimulation, hair pulling, something else idk how to describe??? Like ur like idk, sort of spit/saliva kink, gagging, throat fucking sort of, sort of choking tbh

Synopsis: you and your best friend Simon were just lounging around on the couch on a hot summers day, who knew it would end like this?

Pronoun stuff: ur genitals aren’t mentioned like at all except for maybe one line and it’s pretty gender neutral

Note: ur the one being more dominant and harsh to him in this story, just letting u guys know Cus like ik some ppl don’t like top! readers ???

Also sorry for the Wattpad words 😨

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Your day started out like normal, you were simply lying in bed with your leg draped off the side lazily; that was until you got a knock on your door. Planning to stay lazy, you stayed in bed for a little longer not planning to get up. ‘If it’s really that important, they’ll find a way to get to me..’ you thought to yourself as you neglected the person at the door.

“Y/n!” You perked up as you heard your name being called, the sound of a familiar voice ringing through your head “shit, it’s Simon!” You scrambled to get up from your cozy bed to go help him at the door. Your footsteps were heard from outside the house at how fast you were running down the hallway, Simon stared at your front door with a bead of sweat upon his eyebrow as he heard you coming.

Finally, you had opened up the door for him. He was standing there with one of his arms sheepishly rubbing at his elbow, “Simon! What’re you doing here? Not that I mind, but I thought you would’ve texted first..” you crossed your arms and squinted at him. “I’m sorry, it’s just that I was in the area and thought about seeing you.” Simon apologised, the sentence actually sounding pretty sweet to you. “You’re drenched in sweat, did you run here or something?” You chuckled to yourself a little as you looked him up and down.

“No. Just walked. The heat is horrible out there.” Simon huffed and leaned against the wall, you cocked an eyebrow at him “You sure you’re not just exaggerating? I know your body temperature hasn’t been the same since ic-“ Simon cuts you off. He doesn’t wanna hear the name, doesn’t wanna remember any of that. “No. It really is hot out there. I saw a candy girl and she was literally melting!” Simon exclaimed.

You found it kinda cute, but not in a weird way, you told yourself. “You can sit in front of the fan if you want, just turn it on over there.” You pointed towards the fan that was set up in the corner of your living room “..Why do you have a fan out here?” Simon irked at you “..Because it gets hot in the living room? Duh.” You furrowed your eyebrows at him and gave a weird look. “..Right then.” Simon switched the fan on and immediately started to lay down on your couch.

“Oh, and now you’re just stealing my couch. How thoughtful.” You walked over to join him and found that he had left you little room to sit down, “Yes I am actually quite thoughtful- thank you for seeing that prince/ss” Simon chuckled to himself before moving a bit on the couch. “That’s still not leaving me a lot of room, Simon.” You deadpanned at him “Come lay on me then, I don’t mind.” He invited you over to him. It wouldn’t be weird, you told yourself, you and him had cuddled or laid with each other before, it’s what best friends do.

You hesitantly crawled up to him on the couch, resting your head on his shoulder awkwardly. “Isn’t this only gonna make you feel more hot?” You asked him “Probably.” Simon didn’t really care though since he had the fan turned on him. As you laid there on top of him, Simon moved one of his arms to wrap around you- to make sure you don’t suddenly fall off the couch or something, obviously..

The TV was switched on and before long the two of you were watching bad movies and junk. It was like any other day, that’s how it started. The two of you would always just be hanging out doing random things, sometimes it’d be things even like just standing in the same room together. You two just enjoyed each other’s presence. “Oh, this is a boring movie. I preferred the book much better.” Simon giggled into his hand, you couldn’t help smiling and giggling back at him.

Just as the two of you became engulfed in whatever garbage you were watching, you suddenly felt the air in the room go stagnant. Something was off, and you didn’t exactly know what yet. That was until you felt something ‘weird’ and ‘foreign’ pressing up against your lower back, you weren’t sure what it was at first but you got an idea when you moved your hips back a little and felt Simon tense up. You stayed still for a bit, seeing if he was going to say anything, possibly something like ‘Y/n don’t do that that’s my crotch’ or ‘I’m sorry that I’ve accidentally got a boner let’s just ignore it’

He said nothing, and neither did you. But you were ever so curious to find out if he would eventually say something, to confirm your theory you had to test it. You ground your hips back against his front, making the man involuntarily twitch for just a moment. You didn’t miss it, with the way his arm around you tensed up. “Something wrong?” You turned over your shoulder to ask him, looking up at his now slightly flustered face “N-No, why would something be wrong? Nothings wrong.” Simon stammered out.

“Oh, okay then.” You turn your head away to focus back on the TV but just as you do you feel his hand that was holding your side slightly grip you a little tighter, sending this tingling sensation down your body. You still didn’t dare say anything, wondering where this may be leading to. Simon pulled you a little closer to him, you were flush against him, he tried to do it slowly in hopes maybe you wouldn’t notice but you did. “Simon.” You spoke “Hm?” He tried to act as if he had no idea that you knew what he was doing.

“Why did you-“ he cuts you off “Why did I what?” You furrow your eyebrows at him “pull me closer.” You finish “I didn’t do that.” He lies to you, and yet his fingers grasp onto the fabric of your shirt to hold you a little tighter. You roll your eyes at him, simply deciding to mess with him now at this point. You shifted in your place a bit, your ass now rubbing right against his hard on. It’s a little more obvious now what you’re doing, and Simon ends up realising that just as he releases a soft moan.

The sound reaches your ears, making your cheeks flush. You weren’t expecting a moan, nor one this cute. You tease up a little, turning your head to look up at his face- which was already looking down at you with a slight annoyance. Yet, he had the most adorable flustered looking face you’d ever seen. “Y/n!” Simon exclaims “yeeeeesssss?” You draw it out, you weren’t worried about him being upset with you since you knew the man and that he wasn’t actually mad or upset. “Are you doing that on purpose?” He narrows his eyes at you “doing what?” You bat your eyelashes at him innocently.

“You know what.” Simon spits flusteredly, his cheeks a bright red colour. “Do I?” You turn your head back around, moving your hips against him again. “So you are!” Simon squeals in embarrassment “you are doing this on purpose!” Simon huffs “No clue what you’re talking about Simon.” You pretend to yawn “Right. So you aren’t rubbing your butt up against me on purpose?” Simon deadpanned at you “Where would you get such an idea?” You asked him trying not to laugh.

“From this.” He gently moves you off of him a little and shows you the growing erection showing through his pants, from what you could see he already looked pretty big actually. You looked down at him with widened eyes, licking your lips that had suddenly become dry, still trying to tell yourself that you only see this man as a friend. “Christ, Looks painful.” You swore under your breath, feeling suddenly sorry for this poor man.

“It is.” His cock was strained against his tightened pants, begging to be freed. “And you’re telling me, I did that?” Your tone switched up at the end there which told him that you weren’t innocent at all, not that he thought you were. “.. yes, I guess you did!” Simon turned his head away from you in annoyance. You didn’t say a word, only turning over to face him now. Your hand slowly slid down to find its way to his clothed erection, stroking him gently with your fingertips.

“Y-Y/n!” Simon gasped softly as you touched him, your hand brushing up against his aching cock. “Yeah? What’s up, Simon? What’s wrong?” You asked him ‘innocently’ even as your hand kept stroking at his clothed dick “you’re touching my-“ he gulped nervously. “This okay?” You cut him off to ask him “yes.” Simon replied a little quickly. Simon was panting under your touch now, trying to fight his urges as his hips slowly grind themselves up against your hand.

“Get it out for me, please.”

Simon didn’t hesitate as he started to undo his belt, pulling it off and throwing it to the floor. He then unbuttoned his pants, zipped them down, and tugged them down to his thighs. He then slid his underwear down enough to reveal his length “fuck..” you muttered out quietly as you eyed his erection in its full glory. He was actually surprisingly long, and he was curved. “What’re you gonn-“ Simon bit back his words as he felt you suddenly move your head down to kiss at his tip.

Simon loved it, he couldn’t lie. His eyes were watching you with such content and desire, he could watch you sit and kiss his cock all day. (Not really, if you did that he’d probably get super overstimulated and cum all over your lips and face.) You slowly parted your lips, letting your tongue drag along his slit before moving your head and licking a long line down his shaft. “A-ah..” Simon whined out as you started to lick at him, teasing him before you got to the main bit.

In all honesty Simon could’ve came right then and there, because just seeing you like that in a lewd state made his mind start reeling. Simon whined impatiently, covering his mouth with a hand, his hips jerking up against your touch. You took that as a sign and opened your mouth, wrapping your lips around him as you took him down your throat. There was a slight sting as you felt him take up the room down your throat, making it hard for you to breathe at all. You still tried your best though, moving your head up and down along his cock.

Simon couldn’t stop his greedy self, his hips grinding up against your face, one of his hands grabbing at your hair gently. He wasn’t pulling you or anything, only tangling his fingers in your hair as you sucked him dry. Your mouth was filling up with saliva as you took him down your throat, You don’t stop sucking him off though, instead letting a bit of saliva dribble down your chin. Simon was covered in your spit too, a bit of it starting to cover his thighs. It was a hot sight to see actually.

Simon moaned loudly, his hand that was tangled in your hair now grabbing it slightly tighter. You kept going, your tongue resting against the bottom of your mouth as he basically face fucked you. His hips were grinding against your face and his hand in your hair was slightly pushing you down against him too. It wasn’t long before he ended up cumming, hot bitter liquid pooling down your throat.

You had to swallow it, not sure you could even spit it up with the way it naturally sunk down your throat. Simon pulled out slowly, your tongue sticking out a little still covered in a bit of his cum. You put your tongue back into your mouth and swallowed it, the sight was a real pretty thing to see. Simon now felt a bit exhausted, panting as he laid back on the couch. You giggled at his cute mannerisms, before leaning back down and kissing at the head of his dick to overstimulate him.

It was just to tease him though, wanting to see more of his cute faces. Simon clenched his eyes and used a hand over his mouth to muffle a loud moan that had escaped him. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop.” You gave him mercy and sat up, allowing him to put himself away. “T-That felt really.. good” Simon admitted.

“I liked it too.”

#fionna and cake smut #fionna and cake x reader smut #fionna and cake x reader #fionna and cake #simon petrikov smut #simon petrikov x reader smut #simon petrikov x reader #simon petrikov #adventure time smut #adventure time x reader smut

[tortoisebore]

Fic recs?? It’s so hard to find good stuff😩

i’ll list a few of my recent favs, but first i’ll give u some tips & secrets ab how i find new fics 🥰

my first & biggest source—i snoop on everyone’s bookmarks. like everyone. if i read a fic i liked, i check that author’s bookmarks. if someone comments on my fic, i check their bookmarks. if i come across someone talking ab fic on the tl, i go to their ao3 and check their bookmarks. i’ve found so many great fics just by snooping on what other ppl are reading 🫶

my second most-used tactic: searching for tags & using filters. if i’m looking for something specific, i search the tags/pairings i want and make sure to exclude things i don’t want (i.e. i don’t usually want to read jegulus, so i make sure to exclude that pairing in my results. same goes w tags/ratings/warnings u don’t want). i’ll sort by date, kudos, and hits separately, and add anything that sounds interesting to my bookmarks to sort through later. ao3 really has the best filtering and tagging system out there, but a lot of times we don’t use it to its full capacity! if you want to read something specific there’s a very good chance someone has written it, you just need to search and filter your results so that you’re not just seeing the most recent stuff! (i also filter by word count a lot too bc i’m not always in the mood for something multi-chaptered or something that will take me multiple days to finish reading)

last, sometimes i’ll go into the main pairing tag i’m looking for and sort by kudos/hits/date/whatever and jump to like….the 30th page of results. there’s sooooo much stuff i miss just bc it gets lost in the flow of new/popular fics, so jumping to random deep-dive search results will help you find new stuff & come across fics & authors you haven’t seen before 💞💖💘

now here’s some of the stuff i’ve been enjoying lately!! 💞💖💘💕

love by the seaside by viwrites

this was very cute and a great quick read! remus is a disgruntled painter/barista recovering from a toxic relationship & sirius is the sweet, dashing stranger that he meets by accident on the beach one day. lots of early-morning coffee runs and nervous flirting with some christmas fluff as a treat

hurling crowbirds at mockingbars by wrappedup

y’all know i am typically NOT an exes to lovers kind of girlie. i find this trope very hard to read most of the time bc i am a huge baby, but this one was a quick read and the plot was overall very sweet! remus broke up with sirius & left the country out of the blue almost 10 years ago, and then comes back to town with a fiancé. sirius learns very quickly that he’s still hurt, and remus learns very quickly that he might have jumped the gun all those years ago.

in the dark there is discovery by lynxindisguise

wolfstar pirate au!! need i say more!!

disarm you with a smile by five_ht

listen to me. look me in my eyes. this is explicit as fuck and i encourage you to read every single one of the tags carefully. seriously read all of them. it will not be for everyone but like….,oh my fuxking god. sirius steals remus’ phone number while hanging out with his friend (remus’ niece) one day and starts sending him increasingly suggestive texts anonymously. it’s all fun and games until sirius starts to catch feelings & remus starts to get curious ab who he’s been talking to.

in the centre of a circle by moonheavens

reccing this again bc I HAVEN’T CAUGHT UP YET BUT IT’S SO SO GOOD i’m going after the latest chapter as SOOOOOON as i have the time this week 🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩 sirius lives with the lupins and is very much in love with remus. he consults various people for advice.

#u ask tortoise answers #anon #fic rec #wolfstar fic rec #plus some #ao3 tips

[ssahotchnerr]

  (😡Gets riled up at ppl at ur job being mean to you and had to bring some sort of fluff i hope it helps just a little bit)  

I feel like Aaron would be so upset seeing you come home all distraught every day from work. At first he chalks it up from it just being the new person jitters and you also try to do the same because your new and maybe it���s just a new environment thing . But after a few months pass nothing changes. As in everyday you come home, you’re still as tired as the first day and honestly, it’s been getting even worse. You can barely even finish you dinner before your just slinking away to the bedroom to get ready for bed because you’re just exhausted. And it doesn’t help that it’s not just the physical exhaustion but the mental one to. Why did ppl have to be such assholes at your job you had been doing your best with what you were given which wasn’t much and a lot at the same time 😡😡

You’re super surprised though when he is sitting on his side of the bed waiting because usually, he stays up to do some more work but the serious look on his face tell you that a talk is about to occur and you don’t know if you’re even up for it as you slip in bed.

“Are you okay sweetheart?”

“I’m fine just tired.” You try to answer without your voice wobbling too much (it fails). But also it’s Aaron you’re talking to and he wouldn’t be asking you this if he didn’t already know the answer so he huffs and wraps an arm around your shoulder bringing you close before telling you (instead of asking you this time)

“Sweetheart something is wrong and has been wrong for a while, so talk to me sweet girl. let me help”

And then you just burst into tears because everything is wrong and youre tired of holding it in😭. You start telling him how horrid the people at work are and how you’re trying to do your best but it seems like you always make a mistake which leads to them getting angry at you. Or how they leave you to do most of the work even if it’s outside of your duties and then tell you they could get it done faster. The list is long and each grievance you put out has his eyebrows furrowing deeper and deeper and his frown doing the same😠😠(<-- that’s him).

“Quit.”

That catches you off guard as you try to wipe your tears away and look up at him with confusion (:0?).

“W-what?”

“Quit. I don’t want you working where people treat you this way. You deserve to have coworkers who respect you or at the very least mind their business and don’t make things worse.”

“Aaron I can’t quit we have bills to pay!”

He almost wants to laugh because you and him know that he can take care of both of you with no problems if you decided you didn’t want to work. But he doesn’t and just hugs you tighter and you happily bury yourself into his chest and accept the comfort that comes from being in his hold.

“We do, but I rather you quit and let me take care of things rather than seeing you like this everyday knowing you’re unhappy. It bothers me.”

It almost makes you want to cry again because of how sweet he is and as much as you want to take up his offer you dont want to feel like ur free loading off of him (even though it's very clear he just wants to take care of you and wouldnt even think about it like that bc he loves you and wants the best for you🥺😩) But still…

“Can I think about it Aar I just wanna try and tough it out I guess…show them I’m not running away or something..” 

Aaron of course huffs at this because you’re not running away it’s more like the people are pushing you away and he wants to say something but he also wants to respect your decision so he’s just like,

“Fine but if you come home crying again, your boss isn’t going to like it when I show up.” 

You laugh but he’s not joking and you can’t help but kiss in between his eyebrows hoping to smooth out the wrinkles that appear there with how furrowed his brows are. You’re going to try and stick it out but you keep Aarons's words in your head as you two snuggle together feeling a little better being able to talk to him about your woes.

You do end up eventually quitting after an incident that has you throwing your badge down at your boss's desk and storming out the office. Also wouldn’t you know it a month after you leave the company they end up being hit  with violations and fines for some unethical practices and scheming management had been doing and eventually they had to close down✌.(Wonder who dug up some dirt on those folks 🙃🤔😏).

(I hope this made you feel a bit better but i also hope either these ppl stop being asses or you somehow find yourself being scooped up by a greg/aaron along with a new job that treats you better 😭😭😭😭 you’re such a good person and shouldn’t have to deal with this)

this made me feel insanely better are you kidding 🥺🥺🥺 i don't even know what to say??? <33333

:( <3 he would be so so so supportive, so loving and understanding. he knows exactly what you need, exactly what you need to hear, and will stop at nothing until your tears turn into a smile. the most comforting man ever ever ever ever. ugh he would hold you so tightly and securely in his arms that all your worries would be instantly forgotten, and the world doesn't seem as dark. i want to cry in his arms so bad :(

and the part about digging up dirt made me giggle hehe i wonder who did that 🤭 hehe aaron hotchner vs anything that makes you upset he will come out on top <333

thank you so much, and thank you for taking the time to write all that out 🥺 i can absolutely guarantee you i will be returning to this constantly, especially while i'm at that horrid place >:(

#i am crying #happy tears don't worry #thank you 🥺 #let's talk aaron <333333 #aaron hotchner #criminal minds #aaron hotchner fluff

[yippie-ki-yay]

i just found you and hurblurgh. brainrot is strong. anyway i was wondering if a heem heem sheriff with a (soon to be bestie) bodyguard who protecs him from hank? not in the sense that they actively kill ppl for him more in the sense that they escort him around but he kina likes em

Sheriff/Bodyguard!Reader (Platonic)

Ayo first ask-

Anyways, I hope you enjoy! This is my first time writing for Sheriff but I have read a couple things for him so I think I kinda understand how to write for him?? I also tried to make this longer than the first headcanon post since it was only for one character

Considering the fact that Nevada’s most wanted is gunning after him, it only made sense for Sheriff to get a bodyguard. It wasn’t that he was incompetent per se, but violence wasn’t exactly his strong suit.

He wanted someone with experience but not too imposing. It was one thing to be able to kill someone, just about anyone nowadays could do that, but for someone as important as he was not just anyone would do. 

After looking over what mercenaries were for hire, he decides on which one would be the best pick to be by his side - you. 

The job wasn’t anything new to you, but normally these sorts of things had an expiration date. Even if this one sort of did as well (i.e, Sheriff died), it was going to take a little convincing for you to take it on. 

After hashing out the details and writing up a contract, you were all set to join the team. And boy what an experience it was… 

You’d never had a client quite like this guy. There were a lot of odd people out in Nevada but someone in a full cowboy getup? That was a new one. Even so, he’s as nice as bosses come. 

Working for Sheriff isn’t too hard, considering that you’re spending most of your time with him. You have to deal with the occasional aggressor that decides to target him but other than that it’s been the easiest money you’ve ever made. 

Spending so much time with the guy has led you to get to know him a little better as well. Normally these sorts of jobs were requested by people who weren’t too talkative, they didn’t really like to get even slightly personal with who they hired, but Sheriff wasn’t exactly the typical client. 

It probably wouldn’t take long for some semblance of friendship to form between you two. He’s not as serious as other people out here, which can get a little annoying from time to time, but it can also be kind of refreshing. It’s a nice change of pace. 

Of course, you don’t let this get in the way of the job. When shit goes down there’s no joviality - you do what you need to do in order to get him out of there alive. Even if it means putting yourself in the way of any oncoming danger. 

The first time you got hurt (especially if this was after your arrangement became a little more personal) he’d feel pretty guilty. Sure, he’s grateful that he wasn’t the one who was hit, but seeing you with grit teeth and blood staining your clothes leaves a bad taste in his mouth. 

Insists on helping you out. Even if his hands are shaking a little from the nerves he’ll at least clean out the wound for you.

However, what’s really worrying is your first run-in with Hank. It’s bound to happen eventually but really any time is too soon.

While any threats to his life make him a little skittish, this is one of the few times where he’s actively scared. It’s in his eyes - Sheriff tries to come off as a capable, fearless leader, and the former would be true, but it’s rare to see him as panicked as he is. 

Of course, he was more than in his right to feel that fear, but the way he drags you through the hallways and past the others that work under him makes it a little hard to do your job. 

The door is slammed behind you once you’re both inside, Sheriff rounding his desk and trying to punch in a code to access the panic room (yes, he’s had one of those installed. How did he fit it in the building? Don’t ask me-) and leave you to stand guard. 

Somehow the silence was even worse than the sounds of bloodshed and the screams of your coworkers. You kept an ear out for any signs of life on the other side of that door but nothing came. 

Well, not until the door was kicked in and you were met with the sight of those haunting red goggles. 

Honestly you expected to die right then and there, even if you fought there was little chance that you’d be making it out of this one alive. You weren’t going to go down easy, though, that’s for sure. 

A fight breaks out between you and the monster of a man, and somehow you’re able to hold your own for a little while. It’s all to buy more time for Sheriff to get the fuck out of there. 

When you end up on your ass with death staring you in the face, the quiet hiss of the door sliding open behind you did bring you some relief. At least someone would be making it out of this one alive. 

However, the gunshot that rings out from behind you comes as a surprise. You’re pretty sure that Hank’s a little taken aback by that bold move as well if the way he pauses means anything. 

“G-get away from ‘em you… y-you…” That bravery was gone just about as quick as it had come, the true weight of his actions now hitting him. He’d gotten Hank’s attention off you, sure, but now all eyes were on him. 

The distraction did give you enough time to scramble back up and make a run for the safe room, dragging your boss behind you and slamming a hand on the button beside the blast door. 

Leaning against the wall, you looked at Sheriff (who’d slid down the wall opposite to you, still a little shaky, but he was smiling. Yeah, you’d probably never stop hearing about this moment…) and he locked eyes with you. Smirking, he removed his hat and placed it in his lap. 

“Heh, knew I kept you around for a reason…”

#madness combat #madness combat x reader #madness combat sheriff #sheriff x reader #platonic

[iamthecomet]

I always feel bad for coming in here and just ranting about my problems, cause I know yet aren’t that bad but I can’t really talk to anyone in person here about them and I just feel a little bit better talking here because I feel it’s actually genuine.

But have you ever had someone pray on your down fall, or unknowingly do it? If that makes sense… but I’ve had ppl say they truly didn’t think I’d make it this far, to my face, and weirdly enough I could handle it. I took that and pushed my way to get athletic and academic scholarships. But just now for a project we had in physics only one person in our group had to turn it in, which the professor didn’t say that so we were all working on it. But when we figured it out they called and told me cause I was still working on it but I had don’t all the graphs and formulas and sent it so I could help them out. I asked if they got them and they go “uhhh yeah imma be honest, they weren’t right…” UM HELLO. Thanks for telling me before I turned it in?!?

Like it won’t hurt my feelings if you tell me I’m wrong, give me some advice on how to do it right, but it DOES hurt knowing that your weren’t going to tell me and let me get a bad grade. Thanks. That right there made me lose all trust in those two girls. Girls that I’m taking multiple classes with and am also on the same team with.

I know you get a lot of ppl who like to talk and tell you what’s going on in life, and I think it’s because YOU are a TRUSTWORTHY person, a GENUINE person who wants what’s best for people. So thank you, and all the other online friends for being some of the few people who are like that, holy shit. I know I’m being dramatic but right now I can’t tell if I’m more pissed or sad that it all happened.

But PLEASE distract me tell me all the things in your life right now, good or bad, if you’d like. Tell me fun things that have happened or things you’re excited about!! I’d love to know if you’re doing amazing:)🖤🖤

Holy shit, Mo. In all genuine honesty, fuck those people. Like, seriously. I'm sorry that you have to do so much with them. I think people are so afraid of conflict that they unintentionally create it by being like this. Or maybe they just genuinely don't care--either way it's not a great way to live your life or communicate with other people. And it isn't a reflection on you it's a reflection on them. Ok, enough of that. My life? Christ, Mo. My life is BORING haha. Let's see, my library is planning a solar eclipse party for whatever day in October the partial Solar Eclipse is. We're BARELY getting any actual eclipse but we got sent five billion eclipse glasses and we love an excuse for programming. (And we're getting a full eclipse in April so this is our practice run). So that's going to be my fun work thing for the next couple of weeks! I saw one of my best friends over the weekend. I don't see her much anymore since she left her husband and moved in with her new boyfriend 2 1/2 hours away. But that's alright, she is SO MUCH happier. I made her a little dumpster fire crochet (she immediately named him Daniel). We judged the clueless out of staters for a few hours at a weird craft fair thing we went to, and then we went to the book store and got boba tea and it was just a really wonderful day. I'm in a writing group that's supposed to last from August-May and the end goal is to have a finished draft/self-published book by the end of it. So that is super exciting. I'm working on a story I've been trying to tell for YEARS. I'm just hoping to get it out of my head. It has nothing to do with fantasy, or smut, or ghouls. But I'm hoping it will help me process some shit. It's exciting, I am unmotivated, but I'll make it work haha. Everyone else in the writing group is like 10-40 years older than me so it is a WILD experience. I sort of feel out of place with all these "adults" who read their fancy literary books and I'm over here like "well...I...read books for fun so they have to be fun!" I feel like the dumb little kid in the room. Which I'm pretty used to at this point in my life. But I have faith in my own skill, and I've worked with the guy running it before in short story programs he's done and he has faith in my skill, so I am unbothered by being the weird young person in the room. I am worried that I'm going to get to May had have nothing to show for it--but eh, we'll see when we get there. Please never feel bad about coming to me to vent/talk. I'm glad you know that you can just come into my ask box and decompress from the bullshit. Everyone deserves a place like that. Sending you love and hugs if you want them. And, seriously, fuck those people.

#comet comments #mo

[hxdrostorms]

SHIPPING INFO

Answer the following for your muse so people know how shipping works on your blog.

Read more bc of the length!

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER?:

Castlevania: Richter/Alucard Saint Seiya: Aldebaran/Mu, Camus/Milo, Krishna/Shaka, Aphrodite/Deathmask

WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO WRITE WHEN IT COMES TO SHIPPING?:

My only real hard limits are incest (Aiolia/Aiolos, Saga/Kanon, Richter/any other Belmont) and minor/adult type of ships. Besides those, I have some specific few NOTPs that I'm just straight up, not interested in writing (Annette/Richter).

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?:

Large age gaps between adults? HELL YEAH, GIVE ME. The more the merrier for me, I don't mind it. What about teens in that 16-19 period? In my eyes this is in a grey area of sorts. I get this is like, High school level of new ppl coming in and dating students that are graduating from it. So, in a context like that, I wouldn't mind it too much, like it is not the end of the world for me. But I'd rather not do anything, coming close on the NSFW side of things. We could inferr it as a thing between them for plot progression/character development reasons, but actually write it? Nah, that's too much for me.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?:

It heavily depends on whether or not we click as partners and if our muses have a chemistry as well. Shipping with me requires the person to stick for the long run, because I really enjoy delving into things. With that said, I've mellowed out A LOT, from way back in the day. As a result, I'm way more receptive to ships than ever! With that said, as a personal preference, I still hold onto my CanonxCanon bias. It's just overall easier for me to write.

HOW FAR DO STEAMY MOMENTS HAVE TO GO BEFORE THEY ARE CONSIDERED NS/FW?:

Anything in the slightest suggestive, quickly gets tagged as suggestive cw. Smut is meant to be done in my nsfw tumblr side blog, however. I’ve been prefering to delegate those kinds of threads, to Discord.

WHO ARE OTHER THE CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?:

My shipping partners can be found in the muses’ respective about pages! But here are some of the lovely ships, I got out of rp so far: Shura/Deathmask (Discord), Milo/Camus, Kanon/Hades, Aldebaran/Mu (Discord).

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?:

OFC, if you don’t show interest in it, then how else are we supposed to plot and do our things?

HOW OFTEN DO YOU LIKE TO SHIP?:

It depends on the muse you’re asking this for, but generally speaking I’m always open and willing to ship! The only characters I'm not actively looking for ships RN are Shaka and Aiolos.

ARE YOU SHIP OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?:

NGL I tend to lowkey obsess I try not to, b u t I tend to slip up a few times here and there.

ARE YOU MULTISHIP?:

With the exception of Shaka and Aiolos, everyone else here IS multiship!

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?:

Aldebaran/Mu my beloved, they are holding my braincells hostage.

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?:

We sit and talk, then hope for the best!

#ooc / #& dash games

[pretty-pink-seaslug]

Madre AU BWW lore dump!

I saw some ppl suggesting I should go ahead and dump out all my platonic lore so I’m doing just that! If this ends up messy my cope is that it’s a hot summer day and I’m being cooked alive and I can’t think straight— under the cut because it is long

So MC is Vanity, my bww oc! She’s 16 here and gets pulled in by Madre to become a heartbreaker to then become a maestro, with the promise of being able to finally leave this world and enter OffWorld so she can finally be at peace from all the pain and confusion, and through becoming a heartbreaker meets 4 new friends along the way!

What is a heartbreaker?: basically the title you’re given for the job you’re doing, which is taking people’s broken hearts and giving it to Madre! I haven’t fully decided yet whether Madre sends you after certain people or just ‘go get this amount of hearts if possible’ but I have decided you can go to her and ask for a ‘shift’ if you just wanna go take hearts on your free time like if you’re bored or trying to get your mind off something

-> What happens to somebody when their heart is taken?: They’ll be put into a state of emotional numbness/disassociation, Madre can actually eat hearts too, so if she eats that person’s heart,,, *poom* now you’re never gonna feel again— Tho I have been thinking recently about if there was a way to artificially make a heart for somebody that doesn’t have one anymore (not the organ heart like the spiritual feeling heart) I’ve also been thinking about the possibility of Balan not being able to have them come to his theater because they have no heart to fix anymore lol (maybe he’ll give them a heart tho awww 🥺🥺🥺)

Why does Madre need the hearts?: I haven’t fully decided yet— short answer is she needs it for power, tho I haven’t decided what the power is for, so far I’m thinking she needs the power to give power to and hire more heartbreakers, so it’s like workers keep this ‘business’ running! The people power the people ☺️

Who will Vanity meet?: She’s gonna meet (and make great friends) with Clarisse (I haven’t fully decided if thats her name yet) and Ru, who were there before her (Clarisse started working long before Ru did) as well as Lisa and Tenmei, who come after! (I also haven’t decided if Tenmei is his name yet—) They’ll all end up being best friends, help eachother work through situations with some occasional help from Balan, and end up making changes in each others lives! Lol Madre accidentally put together a group therapy program

-> Why is it 5 heartbreakers specifically?: Madre’s maximum number of heartbreakers is 7 meanwhile her minimum is 3, She hired 5 specifically because she saw 5 potential and promising ‘employees’ + I, as the writer, felt like 5 was a good number to stop at since it would have a main character (Also I like thinking about the sailor scouts)

Where does Balan come into play?: When Crystal (Vanity’s human name) was 14 her heart was broken, Balan was trying to pull her into the theater through tims, Crystal ignores the tims 2 times because she thinks they’re just toys or something, before eventually Madre got to her (in a human form!) before Balan could (I’m imagining by the third tim ignored he would’ve sent her a ticket to the theater, which she also would’ve ignored kajhebdksbey) And once Madre gets to Crystal, stuff I didn’t decide yet happens— Crystal’s in a bad mental state rn (She worked at some sort of big house event there was blood shed she saw shit she fell down the stairs and got brain damage went into a coma for 2 days—) and since her father is gone overseas (he doesn’t know about what happened) she kinda raises her, like she doesn’t live with her but she talks with her from time to time, offering comfort and even some lessons when needed! Madre through some magic means while she’s there, throws Crystal off of Balan’s radar, thus he’s not able to really find her too easily anymore, a lotta other stuff happens I didn’t decide yet and by the time she’s 16, Madre comes back (she left at some point but not without saying goodbye of course!) and offers her the job as a heartbreaker! Crystal is back on Balan’s radar though not in the same way as before, and he is now, get this, her homeroom teacher! (at some point, while during her age of 15, Balan went into his human disguise, got himself a job as a teacher, and set himself up a second life as a human! This man is damn miraculous alr idk how he did it.) a tidbit actually, he’s loved and appreciated by everyone he ever meets 💝 practically his whole neighborhood knows him!

-> Does Balan know about the heartbreakers?: I’m imagining that through all his years, he either didn’t know or thought it was some strange little urban rumor he’d hear among costumes sometimes and never gave it much thought, so when he finds out about Madre and what she does and that the heartbreakers are real he’s shocked! (And a little mortified) so of course, Balan being Balan, makes it his new main goal to get the heartbreakers out of their jobs, fix their hearts if possible, take back any and all broken hearts they stole, and just in general get in Madre’s way— (your children? No ma’am, MY children 🧍‍♂️) Side quest for him: If possible, take down Madre and end the whole heartbreaker business for good!

Are the heartbreakers designed?: Kinda, Lisa’s fully designed, As well as Vanity/Crystal, however I still gotta fully design Clarisse, Ru, and Tenmei. Clarisse is the ONLY one that has a concept design, Ru and Tenmei have never once met paper 🙈

💖Fun fact!: After about 100 or so years of work (Balan is older and has been working longer than her), Madre decided to experiment with an employee line full of teenagers, she figured out that somehow teens pull better results than the adults did, so after that experiment she went full on to hiring mostly teenagers, only in rare cases letting there be adults, to eventually just fully teenagers!

And that’s a wrap! Tysm for sticking through this whole article of a post! If you actually did read the whole thing I’m honestly kinda surprised anyone would be interested my lore dump for a platonic self ship oc 😳 I’m thinking of posting more AU tidbits and stuff in the future, and thank y’all for giving me the kinda go-ahead to dump this out on you! Have a good day (੭*ˊᵕˋ)੭

#my art #my artwork #platonic self ship #platonic self insert #bww au #Madre AU #balan wonderworld oc #balan wonderworld au #bww #balan wonderworld #I should probs tag them so: #Vanity #Madre #Ru #Lisa Grace #NO I DONT HAVE A LAST NAME FOR ME OR RU YET— #oh by the wayI LOVE FRIENDS I LOVE FRIENDSHIP I LOVE CAMARADERIE!!!!!

[hellofears]

Offtopic but I love mothers fathers parents guardians just ppl who care and are always trying their best and trying to do right by the ppl they come across even if they’ve done shit before. Like in general, existing is tough thank you so much to anyone who tries the best for the people around them and hopefully for themselves and their care too. Some people have such care compassion and just like kindness even if they don’t always show it in the most like palatable ways or the most conventional ways or they’re blunt or some shit people who stand the test of time of their experiences who just try and live sincerely like u make life worth living. Siblings friends like no matter what there’s something so moving about love and humanity idk any of u a holes but I hope ur doing okay and if not life treats you better soon, things get better or u t start treating urself the way u deserve even if just a little more.

Mothers r people guardians are people siblings are people friends r people, anyone and being able to hold such adoration be it parentally or like in a guardians perspective or as a sibling as someone’s partner romantically or not platonically or not like Thankyou and I hope you feel fulfilled or the people u love or ppl soon coming into your life will love and care for you the way you deserve.

No one has to like anyone it’s inevitable but I hope you’re treated with respect and common decency which all deserve. I think about random shit too deeply and too much all the time don’t mind me but just suddenly thought like seeing a mother so sincerely and whole heartedly care for their kids be it tough love or whatever it just made me feel warm like, if u want to be a parent or anything of the sort I hope you get to do that whatever form it may come in and if u don’t want kids who cares I hope you live your life In a way that’s true to you and your needs and character.

Those who want a partner or partners I hope you find that no matter how long it takes for those who want a withstanding platonic and like soulful connection, someone or ppl they can find that with and truly want to experience life with for forever more I truly hope you find that at some point. I want you to see that kind of joy

There’s something so magical about what people have together what can be had together what we can have together, the fact that opportunity is taken from so many is fucking awful. It’s unacceptable and so beyond ridiculous (on the cause’ part) and evil. Every breathe u take no matter how difficult I hope it’ll mean so so so so many breathes to come endless even and you will come to experience so many good things.

Don’t mind me I’m just speaking to my wall. Life’s so scary and I’ve got it good like it’s a mess. I love the people I love in my way with my faults and my life’s run so far I hope my time to come will be filled with so many people to get to know and love and vica Versa. Thanks for loving and living everyone

#*txt🗣️

[glowstone23b]

OKAY HI semi sentient elytra thingies from phanon (phanon blog reveal) urs truly

Given the end is like. suuuper weird and alien. (I also hc endermen to be former ancient builders mutated because of eating chorus fruits when they got stuck in the end) almost nothing is like how you expect it to be there and that goes for elytras too

When they latch onto a user, over a period of time they’ll sink these tendrils into the shoulder blades and connect in with the blood etc and begin to sort of leech off you while trying to give you flying benefits + higher reaction times to stuff in exchange 🗣️

yk how when butterflies or moths emerge from cocoons and need a minute to pump blood thru their wings so they can get them to work?? Thats how that works !! meaning elytras take a second to slowly slowly adjust to the host and form wings that are best suited for them

now onto the mutation parts 1!1!1

sage (my oc) began to repair her elytra using phantom scales which phantoms shed naturally instead of killing them for membrane.

these worked .surprisingly really well . and she hardly noticed the fact that the elytra began to slowly mutate her

This was because the elytra sort of assumed— that due to the sudden bits of phantom scales, that they were biologically from her and that she was some sort of phantom-like hybrid person, and began trying to restore what wasn’t there, hence Sage getting a few phantom-like features

Also to note that while the mutations can change a few bits both behaviourally, physically and mentally they never really fully change the person? as in you won’t start going ham on ppl now that you’re partly a mob is what im saying (like Sage doesn’t have to worry about getting blinded by the sun despite being technically part phantom but being around bright lights can cause an eventual headache)

After like a fair few months of never removing the mutated elytra they eventually just. they’re never able to come off afterwards and just fully fuse into the host 👍yes this causes problems with wearing shirts and jackets

also sage oc reveal HUZZAH . dont look too hard at the anatomy i havent drawn a thing in months (shes in her pyjamas too) (my girl is not a morning person)

also yeah sometimes her phantoms try to preen her and it usually ends up scratching her skin ajdbekfjfk

DID YOU DRAW THAT JUST FOR THIS ASK

Also hello blog reveal I was already following you somehow 😂 loving your oc. Loving her

I also love tinkering with winged clothes concepts (like for people whose elytras have fused to them) so they snap or button or velcro in the back or something you know? Good stuff!

What if the elytra (after having been fully fused, I guess, but early users apply too) runs out of durability? Are the wings something you yourself can feel once they’ve fused with you, or is it more like… a neurological thing, where the elytra just know what you’re thinking? That way, it can move you in that direction! Could you feel them as an extension to your body? If they get hurt, would you be able to feel it as if it were your arm or something, or would it be numb? If you run out of durability on fused elytras, is that something you could ever fix? Would you be able to get a new pair if you hadn’t been fused yet? Would you have to try to cut off your old elytra to replace it if you *were* fused? So many questions (and no need to answer at all if you don’t feel like it but. I love this sort of stuff. That’s so cool! I have so many theories :))

For mutations, could you potentially *pick* how your elytra form to look on you? Like, if you tried to repair your elytra using a combination of some standard repair materials (phantom membranes, occasionally scales) as well as some other thing (like parrot feathers, for instance), could you possibly get the elytra to take on a form you’d prefer? Is it standard for everyone, or does it just assign you some sort of look to your wings (person A is butterfly, person B is dragon, etc.)? Sorry for all the parentheses. I have too many thoughts. I digress. If so, it’d be kinda fun seeing people change their wings as they grow or as their preferences change. People with parrot wings repairing with different colored feathers to ‘dye’ them in a sense, or some people mixing ingredients to get hybrid-looking elytra!

I like your endermen became endermen because of chorus fruits thing! I guess… if builders back in ye olden days managed to get to the end and LIVE, they’d have no real way back unless they defeated the dragon, so chorus fruit would be their only source! I think being in the end has gotta be weird, like in my head there’s zero wind or sounds, and the temperature is extremely neutral. Not hot or cold or anything, just kind of stagnant. Another alternative would be slightly chilly, but it might be less of a temperature thing and more of a ‘hey you’re in a different dimension, this isn’t normal’ sort of thing your body’s telling you. Eating a chorus fruit would be interesting, too! Teleporting? And it can also be popped! I feel like it’d have the texture of peaches or mushrooms, but after popping it you can make bricks out of it! What on earth sort of properties??? Idk, chorus fruit is neat though :)

I love your theories, so thank you for sharing!!! Your art rules???? That phantom design is so freaking sick????? I imagine them puffing up their wings like toothless from httyd trying to do that dance thing… silly babies, but the glowy markings help. I am also stealing Sage’s jammies, I love the kitties.

Anyways. Thank you for introducing Sage to me officially (as well as your blog) :). Hello, the both of you! Do you care for names/pronouns? Are phanon/invention alright? Cause I can start a tag for ya if you’d like!! I will throw art in your general direction too if you ever feel like it! Have a good day, I got a flight to catch!!

#minecraft #brandnewinvention #glowstone23b asks #minecraft elytra #minecraft worldbuilding #minecraft end #so cool as always #I promise I’m usually more coherent but minecraft gets me too excited to speak in sentences with less than 12 exclamation points #so thank you for indulging me in my minecraft obsession as per usual #we can brainrot together 🤝 #thank you for bearing through my incoherence to reach the excitement underneath #if you ever need clarification #I can do so!! just let me know #I get long winded at times #phanon #phantom anon

[katyswrites]

I need some help figuring out what the universe is trying to tell me and I thought this could be the right place to ask for it.

I live in a rather small Italian town (130k ppl) and for the past three years I've had the biggest crush on this hot guy who is from another country but lives here because he's an athlete and we have a decent basketball team. I am a huge fan of said team (and have been for long before he started playing for us) and last year I managed to get an internship in the press office - I had to do a mandatory three months internship to graduate university and the place there was available so...

While I was working there I had what was undoubtedly a meet cute: I was walking very fast down the street because I was late to catch the last bus and at some point a car parked almost on the sidewalk and the door opened and I was so ready to scream at a stranger for making me miss my bus but then he came out of the car, looked at me, smiled at me, figured out that I was in a rush and then moved out of the way to allow me to keep walking. I saw him at work that night and the night after but there was nothing but a quick look my way. During the internship I talked to him only once while I was creating some content for the team's socials with him and another player.

The season ended, nothing happened, I clearly was the one at fault because I'm the one with the crush and I wasn't able to use the chance that the universe had given me.

About a month ago I started seeing a new therapist, and until I showed up to her office I had no idea where it was, but on my second session I saw at the entrance someone who I know works for the team and I remembered a conversation during the internship about someone's internet not working and sending them help at that address. I texted my friends "this is where some of the players live, do you see where I'm going with this?" as a joke because no way that was happening AND THEN A WEEK AFTER I MET HIM WHILE HE WAS COMING DOWN THE STAIRS AND I WAS GOING UP!!!

Now. My immediate analysis of this situation was that the universe was giving me a second meet cute but then the following day we lost our last game of playoff, and the day after that we had this sort of going away party where the fans can say goodbye to the players (or "have a good summer" to the ones we know are coming back) and I wanted really bad to go take a pic with him but I was with my parents, and all the people I worked with last year were there and I was a bit too embarrassed to do it. So he has yet another year of contract with us, but next fall I am leaving for a two years course rather far from where I live now, so I now believe that the universe was mocking me and telling me "if only you had done something a year ago, you would've known for ages where his apartment is"

I need a fellow romantic to help me. What do you think? Sorry for the long ask but I need an outside opinion 😪😪

Hi! This one’s been sitting in my inbox a while, honestly because I’ve been thinking about how to answer it. And to be honest, as much as I LOVE you thinking of me as “a fellow romantic,” I feel like I give pretty terrible advice with these things 😅. My romantic life has been… well, eventful, but not often successful. But, I’ll do my best. I mean, it sounds like you really like this guy, and if you keep encountering him, why not shoot your shot? If it goes badly, yes, it might be embarrassing. But, at least he’s someone you only run into sometimes as opposed to a close friend or coworker or something, so it wouldn’t be as crazy awkward day-to-day, if that makes sense? I know the fact that you’re going away doesn’t help, but also maybe that’s why it’s worth taking the shot! I’d say just follow your gut, even if all it takes is ten seconds of bravery ☺️

#I have no idea if this was helpful #but honestly it *does* sound like a fanfic meetcute #katy answers

[dinasilvertongue]

https://soundandmountains.wordpress.com/2022/07/14/the-s-hes-your-soulmate-con/?fbclid=IwAR1hjO2vx9y0U9P1u54lDWji-eAdBoPOb33IlxXYb17AHRD-pqKi_UZUKmY

Meanwhile, in local news…. So, I was doing an annual check-up a few days ago (I really need to stop doing that w/some ppl, who love to take advantage of the fact that I care & love too much)—and I found this little gem…. As intended, it rubbed me the wrong way—but at first I thought, why bother?—let it slide; on second thought, however, since you’re obviously gagging for some closure (after meeting me exactly once—and btw you still owe me what?—$80 for that "great reiki session" you’d conned me into giving you for free), I thought I’d give it to you, even though it's been five years since my car was totaled in the exact same month I'd met you… You know who you remind me of w/your ongoing theories that some clients don't come back because you told them the truth (or were otherwise just too honorable or too good for them, right?)—you remind me of those guys (like Dan from Florida, actually, but I've run into the same line before) who, after finding out that I "claim" to be bisexual, but also finding out that I don't want to fuck them personally, decide to announce that I'm simply wrong about my own desires & I really just have a preference for women—in other words, I just don't want to fuck them cuz I'm gay... I mean, they're right that I have a *preference*—and it's a preference for fucking & talking to people other than themselves... But you see, their egos are so fragile that they'll go out of their way to concoct any theory that makes it about my inadequacies & not theirs (which makes them even *less* attractive as lovers or as friends—or teachers, or readers, or reiki practitioners)... I did not come back to see you not because I couldn't "handle the truth," of which you spoke so little—but, to the contrary, cuz half the shit you told me was a *lie* (I mean, you shouldn't even know my fucking last name—so how do you even know about my blog?—or the fact that I am "a Jew," as you for *some* reason told my roommate, who I don't even think knew that detail herself since we'd never discussed my ethnicity to the best of my recollection)... I did not come back to see you because I *didn't like you* & decided to pass on what was sure to become a connection that would have been quite detrimental for me & extremely favorable for you (which is why you still can't get over it)... I felt you were too volatile, parasitic (as in, you don't ask or wait for something to be given to you—you just sort of *take* it), pushy, rude, & emotionally unstable to be my reiki teacher—or anything (and I suspect some of those clients who don't come back to see you because you're just too much, might have felt the same way)... I hope that answers your questions enough for you to stay away from my fucking birthday next year in posting what are, in fact, extremely judgmental thoughts: I mean, if I were a client who came to a reader about an emotional issue, and that reader used the words "the person you *claim* to love"—like we're in a court of law & you're using the word "alleged"—I'd just say, "You know what, I don't need this shit"... If you were my therapist & you used the words "claim to love," you'd be a piss-poor shrink who'd have no clients left... Now leave me the fuck alone...

#(I also thought I'd made it explicitly clear #that BPD is not my favorite personality disorder to work with #which is another reason I did not come back)

[onceuponanaromantic]

I have achieved peak evolution from ‘the weird kid who remains quiet during social events unless it’s to give a deeply disconcerting insight’ to ‘that one researcher who actively has research plans and frameworks on human psychology and behaviour who is a really good source if you need insight on a social situation’.

#my friend: oh by the way I have new data for you and a new research subject you might find interesting #me: heart eyes instantly ‘oh?’ #and then I came up with an internal research proposal and methodology and am in the process of implementing it #my work on queerness and the social construction of gender and attraction is surprisingly valuable! #the best ppl I know just come like ‘I know you���re running some sort of experiment and you’ll tell me the results at some point’ when I ask #Then recently I was like ‘btw I have new information on a certain social situation’ and my friend was immediately like ‘meet me for lunch?’ #I wld probably be better at studying if I was worse at this but #It’s a very useful social behaviour to have and I rather like it so I’ll just compensate #Brought to you by a neurodivergent queer studying queerness in literature #Oh actually I disagree with my old frameworks when I reread my paper #could have done more with the concept of the counterpublic and based it more deeply in queer theory #because I misused a few concepts but yeah #Syl’s ramblings

[uncouth-the-fifth]

so glad you got a tumblr couth 🥰 ik you said something about wanting to take ask requests on here, so do you have any smut damian hcs?? :D

I'm guessing you just mean general hcs, so here are the ones I think about most when I write:

at first, Damian has no experience, doesn't want experience, and overall imagines sex as a form of manipulation or conquest. his thoughts on sex are initially unhealthy, but with enough time around good examples like his s/o, those thoughts start to change.

there's bragging. lots of bragging. before Damian even has sex he fucking brags about being good at it, bc he's stupid like that. but to his credit, Damian does know human anatomy so well that he can nerve strike ppl... which means... he definitely doesn't get lost yk 😳 I don't think he brags to ppl he's not comfortable with. He's definitely more of the type to be like, "Of course I'm proficient—pleasuring a woman is mind-numbingly simple."

(if he can think of 980 ways to kill someone w his bare hands then he's has to know at least 20 ways to pleasure them. right?)

when Damian does find the right person to begin with, I think of it two ways:

1. if they're more experienced than him, he'll complain a lot, but he desperately wants to perform well and ends up listening to all (most) of their commands. he talks himself up a lot, but underneath all that he's nothing but soft and nervous. there's not much that Damian isn't skilled in, so he's extra aware of where his failings are. he lets you touch him first. but even if you know more than him, he makes a point to remind you that he's a very, very quick learner. your experience is quickly matched. all he needs is a moment to muster himself, then it'll be your turn on the bottom ;)

2. if his partner has the same amount of practice as Damian does, he will take initiative. he will treat it like a science experiment in the most literal sense, documenting your reactions to his every touch, trying to measure what you like the most. maybe he'll ask to undress you, just so he can marvel at you up close. Damian is a total control freak, too. he wants to be on top, wants to control the pace. every social part is new to him, more so than it would be for a normal person, which leaves him feeling unprepared and nervous. it's when you're pressed close together that those feelings start to loosen. not even he can be truly prepared for the first time, and since his life is so ruled by preparation and the future, that sense of timelessness is really pleasant. he doesn't have to be good the first time, because it's not a test.

(but... he is good. very good. he's not too gentle, but still sweet, giving you time to breathe and kissing your nose ridge when you hiss at his stretch. Damian has never been this close to someone before - he secretly adores it).

i don't see him thinking much about himself until after the first time - his happiness almost comes as a sort of side effect of sex, not a deliberate product. Damian is the grave opposite of selfish (he's not at all kind to himself), so he thinks of himself more as a tool in the process to pleasure you. his mouth is for you, his hands are for you, and his dick is definitely for you too.

after further practice, his s/o kind of trains him to want it for himself. Damian does want to fuck you (desperately), his brain is just programmed to shut away any good feeling. every time he lusted after you, admired you in a sexual way, or thought about you dirtily, his mind just didn't take it.

but when he experiences sex for the first time, it shocks him how intimate and romantic it can be. this whole time, he figured it was more of a mechanical process that ppl pretended was good to make themselves feel better. but Damian's first time is fucking awesome.

it's very healing for him. once Damian realizes that it's a good thing, he fixates on it. he reads articles and books about sex, he makes sure you have it around two times a week (his research suggests that this is the best for a couple of your standard), he mixes it up each time so you don't get bored of each other. it's the total opposite of killing, so Damian pledges a piece of his soul to it.

on accident, he becomes a sex god.

in some versions of canon he's been genetically modified from birth to be "perfect" (in the human-made sense), so his endurance is insane. for this reason I hc him as being very big, which only makes him more of an asshole when it comes to bragging. now, he can actually back it up.

his favorite place is the shower, because of the easy access, the cleanup, and the blatant romantics of it. your hair is slicked to the back of your necks and water runs down your faces as you kiss, like you're dancing in the rain at the end of a romance film. he gets to undress you. he gets to run his fingers through your hair. his shower faces the mirror, so he can make love to you against the glass with a great view. and the soap - fuck, the soap. if he's lucky, you'll let him do the cleaning, so Damian can caress and stroke the white, foamy bubbles down your chest and belly... if you're not joining him in the shower, it's definitely something he thinks about. in detail. with his cock in hand.

alternatively, the couch (because any sitting sex position drives him wild), counters, desks, poolside or in nature. you've never survived a picnic with him.

in general, Damian seems like a cranky partner, but it only takes him a few minutes to start moaning like he means it. he would rather be romantic and slow, giving you his cock inch by inch, than fuck you rough. but he's not opposed to a little bruising.

he's definitely not opposed to oral. in fact, it's his speciality. Damian opens and closes the session with his tongue inside you, and often uses it as a destressor. He's very "hard working."

it takes him a while to work up to a blowjob, but admittedly, he loves the dark feelings he gets from it. Damian loves to see you on your knees. when you hold him in your mouth, the temptation to choke his dick further into your throat is killer. he loves how you gasp for breath once he releases you, chest heaving, his cum drooling from your lips. he loves when you blink up at him all dizzy, when you call him pretty names.

I hc he has a very subtle mommy kink, doesn't mind a little bondage or knife play, loves lingerie or you in his clothes, and would probably die happy if you choked him with your thighs.

he'll fuck you for genuine hours, all he wants in return is some cleanliness. you lay down a towel, you keep a bowl of hot water nearby, and he'll go crazy on you.

#damian wayne smut #damian wayne x reader #damian wayne x reader smut #dc #dc smut #damian wayne #damian wayne x you #dc comics #dc comics smut #user uncouth

[1kook]

ZOOM CALL

⇢ meeting two

jeon jungkook x (f) reader

⇢ series masterlist

summary: Most notably, there’s one group project waiting for you, which leads you to Friday. Sitting at your desk, bright and early, absolutely dreading being assigned to your group. genre: fluff, slice of life, smut (tags tba) warnings: ITS A SLOW BURN OKAY...., sweetheart jk, campus crush jk, college crushes, social distancing, zoom -_-, jk owns a keroppi plush, oc thirsts over his hot bod, jk’s sweet attempts at flirting </3 he’s just 2 cute for his own good ratings: e for everyone <3 wc: 3.7k

notes: this took long bc i wrote one version but it was SO LAME u guys r lucky my friend and editor ( @kigurumu​ 🖤 ) stopped me from posting it. so then i had to reorganize my thoughts n b like girl. the ppl are waiting. get it together. anyway here’s zoom jk 😎

Being grouped with Jeon Jungkook (he/him) for your first class on the first day of your first Zoom semester truly sets the standard.

By no means do your other classes suck; they’re quite enjoyable, more relevant to your area of study. They’re familiar which makes them comfortable, your Zoom meetings filled with faces you’ve seen time and time again the last four years. The material interests you, so you definitely don’t have anything against them or your classmates. 

That being said, no one is prepared for the awkwardness that comes with each and every Zoom meeting. You never thought you’d be embarrassed to turn your mic on— to speak in a class filled with your peers. And the meetings are all like that, filled with uncomfortable silences and endless black screens. 

You wish there was a Jeon Jungkook (he/him) in every class. 

Jungkook’s just got this bubbly aura to him, this magnetic presence that staples itself into the back of your mind with each passing day. No one fills a Zoom call like he does, making every person laugh and smile like him. 

Wednesday rolls around and you find yourself a little disheartened when you don’t get sorted into the same randomized group as him again. Disappointment melts into annoyance when you find out how incompetent your other classmates are, refusing to speak in the small group or just completely clocking out all together. A lot of them didn’t do the reading— the one you stayed up all night doing —and your first partnered assignment of the semester finds you doing it all by yourself. Muted mics, black windows, complete radio silence; you hated it all. 

You find yourself weirdly longing for Jeon Jungkook’s presence, even if he’s only there to talk about some movie he saw last night. No one is as much of a chatterbox as him, can’t even hold a candle to the way he draws everyone in with his mindless conversations. At least he speaks during Breakout Rooms, you think bitterly. 

Anyway, the first week of classes ends and your brain is a frenzied mess. There’s schedules to memorize, professors to impress, assignments to plan out. There’s definitely no time to sit around and fantasize about the curly haired cutie in one of your general classes. The weekend is spent trying to organize your planner, filling in due dates and exam days ahead of time. It’s your last semester and you’re dead set on making it your best one yet. There’s a lot of written work this time around, analyses and research papers that need to be organized. The road ahead is manageable, but you’ll have to work hard to keep it that way for the next five months. 

Most notably, there’s one group project waiting for you, which leads you to Friday. Sitting at your desk, bright and early, absolutely dreading being assigned to your group.

Jungkook is early this time, not like on Monday where he’d been one of the last to filter in, and he’s looking as chirpy as ever. Donning this horrendously hot pink shirt, completely unlike the neutral tones he’d worn during your last two meetings and that decorate his room, and the cutest pair of circle glasses sitting on his nose. He says his regularly scheduled ‘good morning’ to you all and receives a collective response from the rest of the class that not even your professor got. 

Speaking of the professor, you’ve been giving him the stink eye this whole time. Not that he can tell, given the fact he’s probably miles away in his own home while you angrily glare at him through your webcam. It’s this old guy who’s decided to sort you all into semester long groups for the class, which is the absolute worst. These types of groups always go the same way: you make a group chat promising to study together, those plans fall through, and then everyone just leeches off of each other for homework answers. And in most cases, it’s you handing over your homework answers because no one else ever bothers to do anything. Sadly, it’s a routine you’ve had to suffer through many times in your academic career. 

The thought makes you sick. Having to spend another semester being labeled as the bossy, nerdy dictator of the group? Not exactly how you wanted to spend the last few months of college, but there’s nothing you can do. Maybe this time around you’ll just let it be, won’t fight it (and by it, you mean your lazy classmates when they inevitably try to guilt trip you for homework) and simply let it run its course. 

“I’m going to put you guys into Breakout Rooms with your new groups!” your professor claps excitedly, and then you and the rest of your classmates are forced to watch him lean too close to the camera as he begins clicking around to find the preset groups he’s assigned the class. “Remember, guys, this is it for the rest of the semester. So if something isn’t right, let me know by the end of today.” 

Man, this was going to suck, you groan. The syllabus had said that the purpose of these groups was to keep you all connected with your classmates during these trying times, to give you the same opportunities in-person learning would. Frankly, you’re not too worried about making friends with everyone in this large class. Most of them are younger than you anyway, save for Jeon Jungkook (he/him) and a handful of others who are apparently in your year. Befriending lowerclassmen only to have to bid them adieu in a few months seems awfully sad, a little too heartbreaking. You really just want to get a good grade in this class, collect the last of your credits, and put this whole college experience behind you. 

Your thoughts are wrapped up by the pop-up message that appears on screen. 

The host is inviting you to join a Breakout Room: Group 12

You sigh, contemplate dropping this class for all of two seconds, before dutifully accepting the request. Worse comes to worst, you make up some lie to tell your professor that you’re allergic to group work and hope it works. (It won’t.) 

You sit through the mandatory loading screen for a few seconds before being abruptly dumped into your new room, Group 12, or so the message had said. There’s no one else here yet, which isn’t really a surprise. A lot of your classmates are probably like you, scowling at the pop up message every time your professor sends you into small groups before accepting the request. So you chill by yourself, eyes tracing over your own mirrored image. The notes on last night’s reading are neatly laid out before you, your copy of the book off to the side. 

Another beat and then, much to your surprise, Jeon Jungkook (he/him) is appearing in your room. “Oh,” he says, round eyes magnified by the thick lens of his glasses, the glare of the computer’s glow casting a funny shape across the lens that momentarily robs you of his pretty eyes. His pretty pink lips stretch into a smile, upper lip thinning out a bit when he flashes you those perfect teeth. “Hi, __,” he greets politely, bubbly. 

It’s embarrassing how much his presence affects you, your back going ramrod straight in a terrible attempt to compose yourself. “Hi, Jungkook,” you manage to get out, fingers nervously reaching for something, anything, to ground yourself. They land on a pencil. 

Jungkook doesn’t seem even the slightest bit aware of the commotion he causes within you. “I was really nervous for these groups,” he begins rambling right away, lips pushing down into an exaggerated frown as he shivers at the memory. “But I’m glad I got placed with someone hardworking like you!”

Despite how sweet he sounds, you’re not entirely sure if he’s buttering you up just to take advantage of your ‘hardworking’ attitude later down the road or if he’s genuinely being polite. The little information you know about Jungkook wants you to believe it is the latter; he’s very kind, sweet and nice in a way that makes everyone he speaks to feel warm. Still, for all you know this could be some elaborate ruse of his to make you trust him now and then convince you to do all the work for the rest of the semester. 

Tentatively, you ask, “and how would you know that?” You try your best to keep your usual snappiness out of your voice, pose it simply out of curiosity. But everything you say or do feels like a stark contrast to Jungkook and his bubbliness. 

His head tilts cutely to the side, imploring brown eyes looking at you for one hard second. And then, “I read your forum analysis from Wednesday,” he admits, breaking into a smile. Shy and tiny, bashfully looking down at his desk. “I thought your perspective on the piece was really interesting,” he says, lips pursing together as if he’s suddenly too embarrassed to admit such things to you. 

Stunned, all you can manage is one slow nod. “Thank you,” you eventually choke out, trying to ward the heat away from your cheeks as Jungkook sheepishly nods back, cute smile still on his face. 

“Oh, please,” he chuckles, raising his hand to rub at the back of his neck. “Don’t thank me!” 

It is in this exact moment that you are suddenly made aware of two things. 

One: despite his collection of soft sweaters and t-shirts, his bouncy curls and sweet smile, Jeon Jungkook’s body is neither as cute nor as soft as any of his belongings. In fact, Jeon Jungkook’s body is all hard planes and prominent veins. Arms beefy, biceps that bulge beneath the fabric of the short sleeve t-shirt he’s donned today. His shoulders fill out the material nicely, making him look broad and huge, but that’s not even the worst part, because—

—two: Jeon Jungkook is covered in ink. Dark streaks and swirls paint his forearms, curling around his elbow. Every inch of his pale skin is littered with tiny designs. They dance along the back of his hands, over his knuckles, and end at an unidentifiable point beneath the sleeve of his t-shirt. When he tugs at the neckline of his shirt in an effort to readjust it, you hope your eyes are deceiving you and that isn’t a hint of ink by his collarbone. 

Your normal composure seems to slip away at the mere thought. 

It’s Jungkook’s voice that brings you back, a soft timbre that asks, “aren’t we supposed to have someone else in our group?” You flinch as if you’ve been caught ogling him, never mind the fact he’s started mindlessly shuffling some papers around on his desk, not the slightest bit concerned with you. 

“Oh— um, yes. I think,” you stammer, feeling like some creep for ogling your very cute, very sweet classmate. The memory of his inky skin nearly sends a shiver down your spine as you navigate back to the class syllabus. “We’re supposed to have at least three people,” you read off, glancing at the boy on your screen who frowns at the news. 

“Do you think they dropped?” Given it was still only the first week of school, probably. There had been a fewer number of people in the call when it started, you remembered. Jungkook sighs, this rather light sound that ends in a hum. “Well, we can always wait a few minutes just in case.”

So you wait, nervously bouncing your leg up and down. It’s not awkward, or at least, not as awkward as it would be with anyone else. The other week you had silently sat with another classmate in a one-on-one discussion and hadn’t uttered a word for five minutes. It wasn’t because you didn’t care about the class, but because said classmate had been tapping away on their phone the entire time and hadn’t even responded to your simple greeting. That was awkward. 

With Jungkook it’s more weird than awkward. You can tell the silence makes him uncomfortable because he keeps doing these tiny inhales like he’s about to speak, followed by a little head shake where he seemingly stops himself from saying anything at all. He wants to talk, very badly it seems, but holds back for some odd reason. 

He’s scribbling on some sheet of paper, leaning forward to give you a view of the top of his head. From this angle, his shirt hangs forward and a silver necklace falls out from beneath the neckline, thuds against the table. And then your suspicions are nearly confirmed, and oh god, is that a chest piece—

You quickly look away. 

Robbed of his handsome face and feeling like you’ll die if you look at his body any longer, you settle for your newly acquired favorite pastime: inspecting your classmates’ rooms over Zoom. Yes, you’ll admit it is incredibly nosy, but what else can you do? You can only look at your professor for so long until you inevitably grow bored, attention drifting off to your classmates tiny windows. And with no professor in sight, just gorgeous Jeon Jungkook, you quickly begin your examination of his bedroom. 

Jungkook’s room is pretty much the same as you remember it, rather neat and plain. There’s not a lot going on in terms of decoration, which is a little surprising to say the least. Over the course of the week, you’ve watched your classmates’ dormitories and bedrooms gradually change, decorations and tapestries decorating the walls, mountains of pillows added to their beds. It’s only natural that everyone has an innate need to show off who they are now more than ever, and you thought Jungkook would be the same. 

Apparently not. 

Aside from the guitar you had spotted on Monday, his little dorm room remains unchanged. Blank walls, grayscale sheets. The same perfectly fluffed pillows and then—

A tiny Keroppi plush smack dab in the middle of his bed. 

It’s adorable but a little out of place amongst Jungkook’s rather masculine decorations (or lack thereof). A tiny green doll sitting by his pillows, cute striped shirt and ridiculously dopey smile. 

Leaning forward, you unmute yourself and conversationally say, “I love your Keroppi.” 

At the sudden sound of your voice, Jungkook abruptly straightens up, glasses practically at the very tip of his nose. Eyes wide, it takes him a second to process your words before jerkily whipping around to stare at the aforementioned item. “Oh,” he jumps, slowly looking at his screen again, lips pulled into a tight line. “Um… it’s not mi—“

“It’s adorable,” you add, propping your chin in your palm, absolutely endeared with the rosy color that paints his cheeks, fades down the column of his neck. 

He squirms, hurriedly pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. He looks like he’ll deny it again, nervously nibbling at his lower lip, before eventually he settles with a sigh. “I won it from a crane machine,” he confesses with a sheepish huff of laughter, rolling backwards to the edge of his bed to snatch it from its spot. 

(Of course he manspreads as he sits, dark jeans hugging his thighs as he rolls back your way. His arm looks so strong, covered in all that ink, you nearly drool.)

“It’s cute, isn’t it?” he says, abandoning his embarrassment as he shakes the little figure around, makes it look like it’s dancing for you. “My mom said it looks like me.”

At that, you laugh. Loud and boisterous because you were definitely not expecting Jungkook to say that, such an odd but weirdly fitting comparison that has you looking at the doll in his hands with renewed interest. And through the pixelated screen, you can see the similarities: Jungkook does have the same smile as Keroppi. 

“Your mom was right,” you agree, wiping a faux tear from the corner of your eye. “Very cute.” 

Jungkook’s got this big goofy smile on, shaking his head in disbelief that you would ever dare agree with his mom. Like he’s genuinely enjoying himself, you think, oddly proud to have evoked that reaction from him. Granted, Jungkook always looks like he’s pretty happy during class, but it feels nice knowing that you were (confirmed) the reason why.  

A little caught up with the bumbling feeling in your chest, you’re not expecting his next words. “Does that mean I’m cute?” he asks, still with that same dopey smile on his face. 

It’s a bold statement you wouldn’t have expected from him, someone who seems content being the world’s friend, but apparently Jeon Jungkook also craves compliments. 

Slowly, you nod. “...yes,” you say, trying to keep the tumultuous emotions inside of you at bay while you grant him this one compliment. Outwardly, you give him what you hope is an obviously feigned look of disbelief, managing to lace it with a little amusement as you shake your head at his inquiry. On the inside, your mind and heart are a thundering racetrack, the roar of the engines and the screams of the crowd enough to momentarily make you lose your senses. “Very cute,” you repeat, hoping he can’t hear the same pounding of your heartbeat in your throat and in your ears as you do. “Like a little frog.” 

Jungkook graces your robotic response with the most boyish laugh, head tossed back as one loud cackle (because, really, there is no other way to describe the sound that tears itself from his throat) escapes him, curls bouncing back from the movement. “Cute like a frog,” he wheezes, seemingly to himself as he shakes his head with a grin, scooting closer to the camera again. “That’s a new one.” 

“You set yourself up for it,” you defend, busying yourself with the papers spread out in front of you before Jungkook can distract you any further. “Anyway!” you announce, neatly lining the papers up. “Our group.”

Jungkook does his best to wipe the glee off his face, but even as he reaches around for his things, it’s still there. “Right,” he agrees, “we have to, um—“ a huff of laughter “—group contract! Or, well, partner project.”

Briefly, you consider calling in your professor to inform him of your missing partner. He had said to let him know by the end of today if something was wrong. But, honestly, you didn’t see a problem with your group the way it was now. While you can only hope he’ll turn out to be as dedicated to his work as you, as it stands now, there weren’t any major red flags surrounding Jungkook’s character. 

Besides, you didn’t mind being with him for the rest of the semester. 

You nod, forcing yourself to ignore the glimmer in his eyes when he looks at you through the screen. “I think it’s safe to say it’ll just be the two of us, which I don’t mind,” you say, glancing at the time on the corner of your screen to see five minutes have passed since you agreed to wait. “Do you?”

On screen, Jungkook profusely shakes his head, curls bouncing all over the place. “Nope,” he hums. “I don’t mind at all,” he reassures you, resting his chin in his palm as he regards you, and then sweetly adds, “it’ll be nice with just us, __.”

Right. 

You gulp, heart fluttering at the dreaminess he exudes through your screen, the soft strand of hair that falls over his forehead, tickles his brow bone when he flashes you another smile.  He was so handsome. Before you say anything silly, you quickly attempt to move on. “But it does make us more of a duo than a group.” 

Jungkook looks away from his screen for the first time in what feels like forever and you finally let your heart rest for a second. “A duo,” he murmurs, shuffling through his papers. “Like Mickey and Minnie?” 

You nearly choke on your spit, coughing to hide the surprise from his rather cute suggestion. He’s not even looking at you, doesn’t even realize the absolute shock he’s thrown you in by comparing the two of you to one of the most famous couples— that’s what they are, a goddamn couple, not a duo! the words mean two completely different things! —in the world. Instead, Jungkook is humming the theme song to Drake & Josh. 

This man was dangerous for your heart. 

After having felt all the emotions in the world in the span of ten seconds, you eventually gather the courage to say, “sure,” and quickly try to move the conversation along. “We just need to, um, make some ground rules and responsibilities for us to follow.” 

Jungkook nods, finally glancing up again, but not at you. He’s glaring at some point behind his computer, brows furrowed together as he begins brainstorming on his own. You try to, really, but his lips pout adorably when he’s deep in thought, and they’re just so pink and look so soft and would feel like—

“Well, we should probably exchange numbers first,” Jungkook says, interrupting your spiraling thoughts with a new topic to spiral over. He tilts his head to the side, brown eyes focused on you. 

“Yes, of course,” you stammer, fumbling for your phone as Jungkook lets out a soft yay at your acceptance of his request. Quickly, he recites his number and you type it in with trembling hands into the number pad, giving him a quick call so he can have your number as well. 

You save him right away, just his name followed by the class you share with him. Not like you know any other Jeon Jungkooks, and if you did, you doubt anyone could ever leave such an impact like this Jeon Jungkook. 

“__, look,” Jungkook calls, that same excitement lacing his already lovely voice, and you raise your head up at the screen again. He’s waving his phone over his camera, so you don’t get to see his face when he says, “It’s a little mouse emoji and a pink bow— just like Minnie!”

Dangerous for your heart and, most likely, the death of you this semester.

Copyright © 2021, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

#networkbangtan #bangtanhq #jungkook fic #jungkook smut #jeon jungkook fic #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook x reader #bts smut #bts fic #jjk smut #jeon jungkook smut #jjk♡ #mine

[kendrixtermina]

Simple Tritype Finding Redux

So remember how a while ago I made that post about how to find your tritype, which was somewhat popular, but also kind of rambly and theoretical? 

Apparently the peeps at the Big Hormone Podcast had an episode which did sort  of the same thing of looking at the “setting” of each individual center, but they expressed it much more concisely & punchy & much more useful

So, for those who don’t have time to listen to 2 hour of pod-cast (which honestly, includes me too, I should be doing something else rn), here’s a summary: 

Heart Center

2 fix

basically more warm compared to other ppl with the same core type 

casually touchy-feely, way more likely to hug, put their arms on you etc. (this can be very obvious in cultures where that’s less usual - ie, easier to spot on a North American man than a French woman)

4 fix

more guarded compared to others of same core type

stresses their tastes & preferences (ie, rant about music they really don’t like)

suspicious of hype & overly popular things - some tedecy to be the contrarian voice in a conversation

3 fix

especially if it’s the 2nd fix this can show as being more positive and/or better at self-motivating and a tendency to follow trends or fads

but it’s just as likely to show as just less obvious emotional coloration, or just adaptiveness/ social perceptiveness, or even ‘icyness’ - so you’ll often arrive at this by principle of exclusion.

2 Methods/ ‘cheats’ you can use here: 

Typing someone else: 

Apparently useful question here is to look at how people introduce themselves, cause the heart fixes represent different parts of identity & it’s all about what someone stresses. For example, the people who will open with something relationship-related (”Hi I’m soandso, I’m a parent”, “I’m a wife”) are probably 2-fixes. If they start out mentioning their job or some kind of accomplishment (”I’m a doctor”, ”I climbed X mountain recently”) they probably have a 3 fix. Whereas a person with 4 fix will not reference anything external but mention their tastes, interests and sentiments. (eg, “Hi, I’m Soandso, I like reading, writing & nerd stuff”, “I live on a farm where I keep peacocks.”)

Typing yourself: 

Think of this as a ‘should’ that you feel. A person with a fix doesn’t run around all day helping people (especially if their core type is something very different), but they might feel that they should be a source of help. Someone with a 4 fix might feel they ‘should’ be suspicious of anything that’s too hyped and popular, while someone with a 3 fix might kick themselves for not mentioning some archievement to their friends when this might have impressed them. 

Head Center

Basically, just look at what they do when they don’t know something. Like, imagine for example that your little sister has a question and you don’t already know the answer. Do you immediately ask someone, google it or point her to a trusted source? Six. Do you first speculate based on your preexisting knowledge & maybe then google it if you’re not confident? Five. Do you list multiple ideas for what the answer might be or where to find the info? Seven. 

6 fix

Checks external sources first, thinks second, may then corroborate the conclusion before accepting it

try not just to get the answer, but a sense of who thinks what. May warn you against other PoVs - this can lead to bringing morals/ politics into it even when it seems out of place. 

Other people need to learn to look at sources and ‘cui bono’ questions at some point, six fix ppl often do this immediately & pay attention to sources from the first. 

At best you get 15 year olds with scarily excellent bullshit detectors, at worst, middle aged ppl whose opinions are entirely copypasted. 

5 fix

Reverse of 6: Always speculates first based on whatever knowledge they already have, and checks sources second, if at all. Internal resources dominate.  (eg if the question is about tigers, they might say ”It’s like this in cats, so it might be similar. It fits with how Tigers live in jungles, too”)

Might just make a theory & throw it out there to see what happens

Might bring up a dark/macabre/disturbing topic without realizing. (6: “Are you defending cocaine addicts?” 7: ””Please don’t talk about murder on the table, we’re eating!”)

Tend to look for a point of distinction or underlying principle

7 fix

List multiple ideas or facts rapidfire 

while the other two sit down to launch into a treatise, the 7 either keeps the engagement level high by focussing on the more exciting parts, or just moves on. 

Cares less about cohesion, hanging on to a point or arriving  at a final conclusion so there can be a ‘kaleidoscopic’, multi-perspective  quality to the answer

Similar to how the 6 might think about the moral implications, the 7 thinks about the entertainment value & novelty . In the example with the little sister, the 7 fix person would say stuff that the child will find exciting. 

Body Center

This where it might be useful to listen to the podcast yourself cause they talked a lot about body language cues that would be much more apparent if you were a core body type or at least a sensor in the mbti. I have no sense of this so I can only relate the parts that I understood

8 fix

gives whatever the core type is a bolder, more unapologetic vibe

tend to “just do stuff” & more confortable doing it without mapping out all the consequences. Think the one person who says which restaurant to go to when no one wants to make a decision or gets bogged down on discussing pros and cons

More likely to get physical. If you’re a withdrawn type & it’s your last fix you might not actually throw down, but you might feel like you want/should if you could get away with it. Or you might just curse like a sailor.

9 fix

generally softer compared to others with same core type. They might be the most assertive & energetic 7w8 or 3w4, but still want to hear the other sides’ point. 

have an accepting, nonjudgy vibe

listens/connects more, much more able to be convinced

1 fix

sharper, precise, discerning vibe - feel satisfaction or repulsion in their body as ‘alignment’ or lack thereof

speaks a bit like a teacher or art critic with the intention to improve things

persistent, especially about complaints. Might bring up the thing that bothers them over & over again; may come off picky

I also warmly recomend the tritype roast podcast. 

I did indeed get roasted, and so can you~

#enneagram #tritype

[ironmandeficiency]

pedro boys + spending habits

word count: fuck if i know, wrote it thru the app

characters: din, marcus m, dave, pero, marcus p, oberyn, max, frankie, whiskey, maxwell, javier, ezra

a/n: idk what caused this to happen but it works i guess. hope they make sense

✨support my ko-fi✨

trust him with your money, your drink, your social security number, everything:

din. this man is barely scraping by on his own when you first meet him. when he adds the kid to the mix, he gets even more frugal than he already is with an old as sin ship that many people are surprised to see fly. he will have a policy of “you earn it, you choose what to do with it” and since he goes after most of (if not all) the bounties to keep you all alive, he has the final say in how most of the credits are spent. he does want you to have nice things though, so he makes sure to configure the budget to where you don’t have to pour your credits into the group’s survival money very often. it’s the least he can do. he’s very big on taking care of his people and will show that in small ways.

marcus m. he’s a single dad for a significant amount of time, he has no choice but to be responsible with his money. he has to take care of missy, keep them both fed and housed and healthy, and that’s not even touching on how expensive all of high school graduation and college will be once she gets there. he teaches missy very early in life how important money is bc he doesn’t want her to ever know how it feels to not have enough. he makes a considerable amount of money w the heroics tho so he can afford to responsibly splurge on you both, but not constantly. is very cautious abt the splurging becoming a habit

dave. yeah he may be a murderer, but he’s scary great at managing his money (to continue being able to murder). he’s got his ex wife’s alimony (that still pisses him off but that’s another story) and two girls he takes care of, there’s no other choice for him either. there’s never a worry about dave having a midlife crisis and spending money on some stupid dad thing (like a motorcycle or assless chaps or a country club membership) because he murders to keep his mind off that sort of stuff. files his taxes diligently every year the day tax season starts and will pass this wisdom to the girls.

pero. he’s very good at judging if you need something or not. if it can’t feed you, keep you healthy, kill someone, or protect you, you don’t need to buy it. definitely not a man who indulges in trinkets and frivolous things that do nothing but weigh down his horse and his person. will encourage this way of thinking with whoever travels with him to whatever extent he can, but won’t be a dick about it if you have something sentimental on your person. if it’s a necessity, he will splurge on a bed and bath at an inn but not much else for a while. cheap because he has to be

marcus p. i don’t think i have to explain this one so i won’t. no i’m not being lazy who said that?

maybe you’ll be fine if he’s in charge. maybe:

oberyn. being a prince (and himself), there are different ways this could go. he spends his money frivolously at brothels & on his daughters + other loved ones (as well as other luxuries) and doesn’t really seem to be the type to keep tabs on it all as he goes. but... he’s a prince in a prosperous kingdom and so there isn’t really a worry for money. he’s known as the red viper for many reasons, including his clever nature and the ease with which he can get what he wants thru whatever means necessary. if you want for something that he can’t buy, you know he will find a way to get it for you (which can be a problem sometimes).

max. he’s good with money in the sense of perpetuating capitalism — that’s the red flag here. hell, he’s gonna be investing into bitcoin and who knows what stock market bs & bc it’s max, of course you trust him. max can’t control the stock market tho, so sometimes things are a little iffy. it always evens itself out though, and you make sure in the future that he invests his money instead of your joint money. he’s still gonna share anyways, it just helps you have a little more peace of mind.

frankie. he just wants to take care of you, okay? you can’t fault him for that 🥺 he maneuvers his budget around to make sure he can do all these nice things for you while leaving his own needs unchecked, which isn’t okay. he just wants to provide for the ppl he loves the best he can, but the problem begins when he starts to think he isn’t doing enough. his insecurity & lack of self-worth (fueled by his guilt for “not being everything you deserve”) is what makes him agree to the Trip™️ in the first place. once he comes back & sees you frantic, only wanting him home and not giving a flying fuck about the money, does he realize that you’re devoted to him and not what he can do for you.

whiskey. working for statesman made him forget what things really cost bc he suddenly never had to worry again about not having enough money. being with someone that isn’t practically made of money will snap him back into reality. he looks at his bank statements and his balance occasionally, but our big spender cowboy hasn’t really counted money as something he worries about for a while. when he constantly showers you in expensive gifts (only the best for his baby, that’s his motto) and you tell him that he has to not do that bc he’ll go broke, he plays it off because he doesn’t remember having to worry. separate bank accounts are only because you want to make sure your money is being spent smartly (even though jack has offered constantly to pay for literally anything you need).

don’t give him anything you want to see again:

maxwell. as much as i love this dork, he’s absolute shit with money. when his business is falling apart (bc he made the stupid ass decision to buy the oil rigs no one wanted bc they weren’t producing oil), he throws it all into saving face and trying to make investors buy into something that isn’t there. what a smart business man would’ve done was liquidate his assets and possibly try to get into a business that will yield at least some profit. he does learn his lesson tho and eventually can be trusted with money, but even he is hesitant to do anything with the household finances. he’s a dreamer, and dreams and money are the same as oil and water.

javier. i know you’re possibly surprised but hear me out. he’ll go all in to get info, whether he’s spending american taxpayer money or his own money or anyone else’s, if it’s valuable info that can be bought, it’s gonna be bought even if he goes without groceries for the next two weeks. before being with you, it was booze and prostitutes and cigarettes that ate away at his checks outside of buying information. the only thing that really changed once you got together was the prostitutes and slightly less cigarettes and booze. however, when he goes back to laredo permanently, he’s perfectly capable of keeping his shit in line. he’ll balance every checkbook in sight and run a tight af ship.

ezra. this man is a scavenger by necessity, a con man by choice. he has a silver tongue and a roguish charm and pretty questionable morals; he’s not gonna have any issue with getting his hands dirty. he’s probably gonna use your joint money to try and pull a fast one on some unsuspecting stranger (“it’ll double our money,” he says, “it’ll be fine,” he says), but then said stranger will end up turning the tables and leave you both absolutely broke. yeah he will feel guilty, no doubt. the only problem is that he won’t take it as a “hey don’t do it again” lesson, it’ll be a “this is how i can improve for next time.” eventually you have to put your foot down and take control of the money and when he realizes that you’re improving your lives much better than he is, he will thank you for it.

all pedro character taglists: @likeshootingstarsinthenightsky @obirain @leias-left-hair-bun @themarcusmoreno @catsnkooks @captainrexstan @mackstrut @torradoza @simping-for-fives @stardustsunrisekisses @darthadeline @artemis61003 @majorshiraharu @getdookuedon @capricornrabies @max--phillips @darklingveracruz @book-of-anarchy @andysficrecs @purelypascal @whovianwar @lv7867 @hornystarwarsbisexual @kaermorons @princess76179 @pedropasscals @greeneyedblondie44 @seasonschange-butpeopledont @qhbr2013 if you don’t want to be tagged, lemme know!! the link to join is in my bio

#pedro pascal #dave york #frankie morales #din djarin #marcus moreno #marcus pike #ezra (prospect) #maxwell lord #max phillips #jack daniels #max phillips x reader #din djarin x reader #frankie morales x reader #marcus pike x reader #marcus moreno x reader #jack daniels x reader #ezra (prospect) x reader #dave york x reader #maxwell lord x reader #oberyn martell x reader #pero tovar x reader #pero tovar #javier peña x reader #javier peña #oberyn martell