#the boys are Traumatized big time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mleemwyvern · 2 months

Note

tell me about sausage in the superhero au. he basically has phoenix powers if i read the google doc right, and that’s awesome

he does have pheonix theming! so sausage is possibly the most traumatized person in this au, and thats because i took inspiration from his empires s1. you know, the whole xornoth thing.

so! xornoth, most recent member of the villain squad, has some Pretty Awful powers. he can mark someone with a touch, and anyone he's marked, he can influence them through dreams. send nightmares with subtle brainwashing weaved in, and slowly, over months of dreaming, twist their minds to his own views. he's been using that to spread the word of how amazing powers are. how beautiful mutations can be. how the world would be better if everyone had them. they're a gift.

sausage was one of xornoths targets. the dreams showed him the light, and now he knows how much help these powers would be. to anyone. and unlike most people, he wanted to join them. he would seek out the villains, request powers of his own, and vow to join and help them make a better world. so he did.

finally getting his powers felt like a rebirth. fiery eyes, talons, and huge, majestic wings of fiery red and orange feathers. he can even fly. not with powers, but from the sheer size and strength of his new wings. and the powers themselves? flames that heal and protect instead of burn. he loves it. he feels more himself than ever before. this really is a gift, and now he can help the world and everyone in it by giving them amazing powers too!

and when his best friend fwhip happens to get injured, that's a great opportunity to come over for a visit, serum in hand. he heals him, of course, and then tries to explain how he felt after getting powers. how much better and stronger he is now. wouldn't it be nice if everyone had some? wouldn't fwhip want them too?

fwhip didn't want them. but he didn't have time to protest before the needle went in. cue a bunch of yelling, a horrified and betrayed fwhip, and a worried sausage who keeps reassuring him that it'll be so much better once it's over. hes going to love the powers, he promises. it's gonna be okay.

fwhip is not okay. he calls up his sister gem, who is an official hero, and ends up at the hermitcraft agency to recover and try to get used to his new form and powers. he never does end up liking it.

a while later, after discussion with the heroes, its found that sausage- who didn't just stop at fwhip, and is out there dosing more civilians- is almost definitely under xornoths influence. a team is sent out to capture him and, later, try to break him out of the brainwashing.

the mark is removed. the powers-based mind control part is gone. the effects remain. human brains really do not like admitting they were wrong, and it takes time and effort to change the patterns of thinking xornoth has encoded in sausages mind. but it is possible to change them, now that hes away from the influence itself.

now sausage gets to face how badly he fucked up, how much his mind has been messed with, and that fwhip is Not Happy. he hurt his friend. he may have been trying to help, but he did not help. he can't even trust his own mind. did he ever want powers in the first place? or was that all fake too? he doesn't know. he doesn't know whats real or how much of this was him. how deep did it go? how much of him has been him since that first night of nightmares? is he ever going to truly be himself again?

it still feels like powers are right. like he should be giving them to anyone and everyone. part of his mind keeps telling him that everyone will be so much happier. but fwhip is clearly not. fwhip doesn't feel comfortable in his own body anymore. the powers...... he hurt someone. his best friend. permanently and irreversibly. and his mind is fighting itself.

the mutations he loved no longer feel nearly as good anymore, and he ends up clawing at his legs, his wings, covering the floor in feathers.

everything is wrong. he can't bring himself to use his powers on those injuries. he- he doesn't know if he actually wants them gone, some part of him still loves the majestic pheonix features, they feel so right but that's so wrong- maybe its some kind of fucked up penance. he doesn't know anymore. he just can't. those will heal naturally.

that's his rebirth from the ashes.

its not easy, and its painful, but so is life. so is growth.

he apologizes to fwhip. he goes to therapy. hes so, so sorry. for everything. and maybe someday he'll be able to be who he was before.

they both hope they can be friends again.

#mcytblr #superhero au #mythical sausage #fwhip #these two problem havers are the most recent addition to the au and hoo boy. i went feral.#the boys are Traumatized big time #and of course the worst angst in the whole au had to be about the guy named mythical fucking sausage

10 notes · View notes

fromtheseventhhell · 8 months

Text

I want to make a longer post about this someday but: I think Arya's TWOW arc is going to include her coming to terms with her identity as a Lady. This has been an ongoing conflict with her since her first chapter and I think her flowering in winds is going to mark a turning point. The theory of her having an apprenticeship with the courtesans holds a lot of weight and the idea of Arya going through puberty among a group of unconventional women she's fostered a positive relationship with is just too perfect. It would really have an impact on Arya reconciling her personal idea of what a Lady should be. There's also a lot that she could learn from them in terms of courtesies, communication, appearances, body-language, etc. that would elevate her current skill-set and ways her relationship with them could push the plot.

Not to mention she will undoubtedly reclaim her identity as Arya Stark, and her being a Lady is inseparable from that. Arya Stark is a Lady Stark and being a Lady is a social position, not a measure of how well someone preforms feminine tasks. She shouldn't have to relinquish her position because she doesn't fit patriarchal standards. That's not to say that she's ever going to be the perfect example of a traditional Lady but what I think will happen is that she becomes capable of playing the part. She plays several identities throughout the series but she's always been Arya underneath, so I think it's appropriate that she learns to adopt a "persona" that's part of her. Her remembering Ned putting on his "Lord's face" (+ the various examples of other characters being separate from their ruling persona) makes me think that Arya will be donning her "Lady's face" when she makes a return to Westeros.

#arya stark #asoiaf #twow speculations #Arya has been through so much traumatic shit and I think her flowering is going to bring up a lot of her self-esteem issues #I just really need her surrounded by kind older women when that happens so she can have some comfort #George saying her arc in braavos could be the plot of a YA novel?? definitely makes me think she's going to grow up a lot there #she's already one of the most mature characters so I think part of it's going to be her accepting her duty as a Stark Lady #she wants to help and protect people and the best way she can do that is if she has political power #She could learn that first hand in TWOW #possibly through her finding out about her marriage??? and meeting Jeyne in Braavos??#and before someone says it courtesans are so much more then sex work so I don't want to hear it #they are such a big part of Braavosi high life...they're cultured and connected with very important people #I just have so many thoughts on the subject cause I think her apprenticeship with them will serve multiple purposes #the faceless men and their plans...the iron bank...the sealord...It's all connected and I think her apprenticeship with them will kick off #the braavos plot and could mark the beginning of the end of her time with the faceless men and in braavosi #half a boy half a wolf pup -> half a lady half a wolf #I think her current skillset fits well and it's likely she'll learn even more in TWOW #Arya defining her own role as a Lady and becoming comfortable means so much to me

221 notes · View notes

commando-rogers · 9 months

Text

ok I’m sorry if this seems mean but the lack of media literacy and critical thinking that is necessary to look at this season and hate aziraphale and think he wanted to hurt crowley is astounding. like. is it not clear that aziraphale has been in an abusive relationship with heaven for millennia? that heaven has groomed him to want to be a good little angel who does their bidding??? is it not clear that aziraphale has been made to think heaven is good at its core simply because it is heaven and heaven must be good because hell is bad simply because it’s bad because that’s what we were told? that throughout both seasons he keeps trying to get crowley to do the “bad” “harmful” “evil” things because that’s what demons do, not angels, because demons are bad and evil because that’s what god said but not really god just heaven wielding this ambiguous “god’s will” as a means of gaining power?????

like. there was literally a parallel of an actual abusive relationship in this season in order to make it clearer to us. somebody who has affection for someone else but thinks they can’t act on it because they have an obligation to their controlling partner who won’t let them step out of line???? Nina’s journey was RIGHT THERE as a parallel to aziraphale’s.

some hallmarks of abusive relationships are when you are gaslit and fed lies in order to separate you from others. when you are promised something great to get you to comply, when really they just want to use you for their own means. “your friends can’t love you as much as I do, you should stay with me because I’m the only one who loves you and can make you happy. others are evil and must have evil intent because they’re not me. and you want to do what I say is best because if I don’t love you you’ll be alone.” and after the abuse, the cycle becomes love-bombing, being kind and gentle again, making you feel special. like. it’s right there guys.

Aziraphale didn’t go with metatron because he wanted to take this job and say fuck you to earth and crowley. of course, that’s the collateral damage, but aziraphale can’t see that!!! and heaven KNOWS that if aziraphale stays with crowley they could present too big an obstacle. so they need to alienate aziraphale from him. and what better way to do that than to manipulate him and promise him this incredible opportunity that can’t possibly be bad because it’s heaven and we’re good see!!! we know you’ve been having doubts and are becoming happier without us than with, so we want to give you this to pull you back. you’re so special, you’re so smart, nobody could do this except you. but they know they can exploit aziraphale’s eagerness to please and use him as a puppet to execute their plans.

aziraphale isn’t going to have an ounce of authority in heaven. they’ll make him feel special, yes, but they won’t let him do anything that doesn’t serve their interests. look at Gabriel!!!! that wasn’t some cutesy side plot, that was a demonstration of what happens when the most powerful angel in the universe finds something that matters more to them than heaven’s agenda. Gabriel wasn’t abiding and stood in the way of their plans, so they eliminated him. and they let him go off with beelzebub because they know how formidable Gabriel can be, and letting him go posed less of a risk than trying to fight him on it. but they think aziraphale is soft. so to fill Gabriel’s vacancy they used the path of least resistance.

aziraphale is a victim of heaven. he’s been kept in the dark and lied to so much. he WANTED crowley to come with him SO badly, but he was so afraid of losing his abusive partner/parent/anything because he’s been made to think he’s nothing without them. so he hurts crowley. he insults Crowley’s very nature by implying crowley could ever be happy being an angel again. the very essence of crowley is questioning authority, he could never be an angel, he’d never want to. but aziraphale can’t understand that yet, because he’s caught in this cycle of abuse.

the entire Edinburgh storyline shows aziraphale unable to recognize that sometimes doing the “bad” thing is the right thing. even when he realizes crowley was right and he was wrong; he still has to spin it as “well, this is actually benefitting humanity so it’s still something heaven would approve of.” everything has to be twisted to fit the narrative he’s been force-fed, otherwise he is bad and evil and worthless and he’s been groomed to think those are the worst things he could be.

as Maggie and Nina said, even though crowley and aziraphale talk, they never say what matters. they both hide so much from each other. aziraphale spends the better part of season 1 lying to crowley and pretending he doesn’t know where the antichrist is, because he believes heaven actually wants to avert Armageddon. if he can do good and help stop this with heaven, then everything will be good in the end, right???

but crowley also hides things. he hid what Gabriel said to him before the hellfire. he tried to hide his holy water heist. he hid the book of life. he thinks he’s protecting aziraphale, but they both struggle so much to realize in order to have Their Side, they need to be completely open and vulnerable, and both of them have learned to never ever do that as a coping mechanism from their respective abusers.

we literally saw hell do this same thing to crowley!!!! they said find Gabriel and we’ll forgive everything you did wrong and make you a Duke of hell. and crowley went “lol yeah ok sure.” he was offered the same deal but he’s the one who’s always questioned things, it’s in his very nature. he’s seen how demons work, he knows better. and he’s seen how heaven works and how evil they can be, but aziraphale hasn’t, and can’t see past his nature of wanting to be capital G Good. so when he’s offered the same thing, he can’t see heaven may have ulterior motives, because that’s not holy or good, and that’s what heaven is supposed to be, right? questioning them would make me Bad and that’s the worst thing I can be.

obviously there’s more nuance to this that I can’t elaborate on right now. of course they hurt each other and that’s awful. of course they both have trauma, and there’s a million reasons crowley is rightfully insulted and devastated. but it goes So Much Deeper than “he chose heaven over him how mean!!!!!!!” both seasons of this show work to show us that the “good” guys are actually evil. that we need to question what we’ve been told is “good”. that heaven doesn’t give a damn about good. they are controlling and all they want to do is win. and they’ll use aziraphale for that in order to eliminate the threat that he and crowley pose together.

if you think that aziraphale is the bad guy here, you clearly missed the entire point of the show.

#good omens spoilers #good omens season 2 spoilers #good omens 2 spoilers #go2 spoilers #good omens #good omens season 2 #good omens 2 #go2 #aziraphale #our boy is Traumatized big time yall #long post sorry

61 notes · View notes

lesbaurinkos · 8 months

Note

i have never watched riverdale but i want you to know whenever you talk about cheryl blossom i creep closer and closer to the series because the way you hype her up is so insane to me i need to witness her first hand im obsessed. and also the archie posting is delightful i know nothing of this man but i like him from what i have seen. you are my only source of riverdale and now i dare to ask, since the show ended do you think its worth it for newcomers to pick up? especially for cheryl blossom. thank you

oh i am SO glad you asked because the answer is absolutely YES it is SO worth it to watch. i promise you that no matter how much i may post about it, witnessing it firsthand will forever be its own truly beautiful experience. cheryl especially- i can describe how unhinged and awesome she is, but u truly just have to see for urself her absolutely insane line delivery. u just have to HEAR her saying shit like "oh tt i had the most HORRIBLE phantasmagoria" aloud. u just have to watch her flouncing around in her flowy gothic heroine outfits while holding a candelabra and drenching herself in pig's blood to force her mother to emancipate her and shooting people with a bow and arrow and such..... no description can truly hope to do cheryl blossom justice. its so important that she is both the world's number one girlboss and also so amazingly cringefail i would die for her. theres like a multi-episode arc where shes freaking out bc a girl she likes wont answer her emails. but also she gaslit her relatives into thinking they had cannibalized her uncle over thanksgiving dinner. NO ONE does it like her. character of all time <3 it is just so worth it to watch all of her cheryl-isms unfold. no post could ever sum it all up

#i promise. watch riverdale it is SO worth it for newcomers to pick up #ive been rewatching it lately and one of my favorite things about s1 is like. KNOWING that madelaine petsch knew from episode ONE #that cheryl was a lesbian and was always playing her as such. watching her playing what is obvious comphet and struggling with that....#when she kisses archie and then recites some line shes clearly practiced over and over bc she thinks shes Supposed To. etc #just a big fan of it all ^_^ cheryl u are so perfect forever and ever and ever to me #from day one shes always been the character of all time and shes never stopped. and EVERYONE should experience her ^_^#ALSO ARCHIE.... OUGH ARCHIE.#hes SO fucking dear to me. i hope he will be dear to u too #the way hes manipulated in the early seasons... the way grundy grooming him lay the groundwork for hiram manipulating him in s2... god.#hes so traumatized and his world is so marked by violence and he struggles so much with it but he is so so fundamentally GOOD. i adore him #deconstruction of the all-american boy and all that. trapped in a narrative that is in love with him and a town that is eating him alive #my sweet archie. i would blow up the world for u.#LONG STORY SHORT. YEAH WATCH RIVERDALE THANK U FOR ASKING #ask #riverdale

19 notes · View notes

hottakesdutp · 1 year

Text

Hot Takes DUTP: Reza the unhinged Nerd

A) Studious Secretary <3

B) F*ckboy center part <3

C) EARINGS* <3 +5

D) Kohl on POINT*

E) Two Lip Club (Barely)

F) Beautiful Nose <3 +5

G) The Fit is simple but beautiful. <3

H) SOOOO Studious

I) SOOOO Many Layerssssss

J) #TheGoodShoes<3

K) Major Gold Theme

Additional Notes:

*thumbs up

#dutp #hottakesdutp #dress up time princess #dutp the Sacred Beast #dutp Reza #this treacherous little Twink #Big Bi Boy energy #but in the other direction #this book was polyamorous bait big time #too bad everyone is so traumatized

8 notes · View notes

zukkaoru · 1 year

Text

full offense but whoever cast the 1940 the house of the seven gables adaptation did not read the novel

#clifford looks WAY too young #why did you go for pretty boy vibes that man is TRAUMATIZED and has spent the last several decades in PRISON for a crime he #did not commit #also if the person i think is hepzibah is actually hepzibah. she is ALSO way too young #and too pretty like.... hepzibah and clifford both are described as scaring children with their appearances 😭#phoebe is supposed to be young and pretty! holgrave can be pretty!#literally a big aspect of clifford and hepzibah's characters are that their appearances are not considered socially appealing!!#also apparently this adaptation focuses on like.. the period of time surrounding the murder of clifford's father?#either that or whoever wrote the script ALSO did not read the book lol #anyway i literally finished this book yesterday but i am. holding it gently in my hands it is SO fascinating #it's a drag to get through at some points but it's just so interesting to me #i would LOVE to do a full modern-day rewrite of it tbh #hello grace here

3 notes · View notes

sttoru · 7 months

Note

Could you do a scenario where megumis daycare teacher is hitting on y/n and toji and meg get really overprotective about it <3 love you parenting series sm

⟣ tags. dad!toji x female reader. fluff. themes containing jealousy / protectiveness.

you were stunning. that much was known and evident to toji and others around you. your looks were captivating — however, you always seem demanded to deny that fact. even when you have a husband who reminds you of how good you look on a daily basis.

but with good looks comes male attraction; something toji greatly dislikes since you’re his wife. it isn’t like he’ll be mad at you about it — no, not at all. in fact, toji feels a surge of pride every time someone tells him how lucky he is to be your husband.

the thing is: he gets a little. . . too jealous and overprotective every now and then when the harmless compliments turn into blatant flirting.

“oi, megumi,” toji grumbles as he holds his son in his arms, looking out in the distance. specifically at you talking to megumi’s daycare teacher for a bit way too long to his liking, “ya see that? mommy’s being hit on right in front of us.”

the little boy stops chewing on one of toji’s hair strands, seemingly understanding whatever his dad had said. megumi lets out a small ‘oh!’ noise and stretches his arm out in your direction, pointing at you, “mama.”

you were too busy answering the questions megumi’s teacher asked you to even realise that your husband and son were looking at you from far away. toji’s menacing aura, however, only seemed to intensify the more you talked to that man.

“tsk. . . all right, kid—listen up.” toji narrows his eyes at the scene before putting megumi down on his feet, crouching down to be at eye level with the boy. he puts a hand on megumi’s shoulder and whispers a plan in a ‘baby-language’ his son could understand;

the two are being the perfect partners in crime right now (they always have been; since megumi’s birth to be precise).

megumi’s daycare teacher was telling you a fun story about what your son had done to which you politely laughed at. in that same moment you could feel someone tugging at your pants lightly — as if wanting to catch your attention,

“oh — hi, my baby.” your face lights up as you see megumi standing behind you. his big eyes were staring up at you, fingers curled around the fabric of your trousers still — not a clue of what he wanted of you,

you tilt your head to the side in slight confusion and when you wanted to crouch down to be at eye level, the little boy suddenly starts to scream and cry as if he just experienced something traumatic. when in reality, nothing in the current scenery had changed to provoke such a dramatic reaction.

“woah, woah, hey. .” you were startled by the sudden switch in megumi’s mood — his face going from a neutral expression to one of pure despair as he (fake) cried. not only you, but also the daycare teacher seemed to take a step back from the sudden screams echoing in the area.

you immediately pick megumi up and try to calm him down, not pressing him for answers on why he suddenly decided to have an-almost-mental-breakdown-like outburst.

another switch was flipped in the toddler once your attention was diverted from his daycare teacher to him and him only. your eyebrow raised at how easily megumi shut up and went from a state of distraught to one of content in your arms.

that’s when you glance over at your husband who stood near the exit of the daycare, leaning against the wall with his bulky arms crossed, a proud and smug grin on his face — his plan seemed to have succeeded. all credit goes to his son for succeeding in catching you off guard.

“damn, seems like the brat needed his mama’s attention, eh?” toji calls out with an ‘innocent’ shrug, snickering after that, “like father, like son — they say.”

it took you only a few seconds to realise that toji had probably asked megumi to catch your attention by faking to cry near you — knowing you’d drop anything to comfort your child at any time, no matter what you were doing.

“oh, you little . . .” you bite your tongue to refrain from scolding your childish husband out in public. you look down at megumi, seeing him stare back at you with happiness in his blue eyes. you certainly couldn’t be mad at him, “you. you’re lucky you’re cute, ‘gumi.”

you chuckle and kiss your son’s forehead, bidding the teacher farewell quickly (leaving him disappointed by the rushed ending of your conversation), before walking to toji.

megumi squirms in your arms and when you put him down, he instantly runs to his dad, expecting something in return for his performance. toji did seem to have promised him something in exchange for accomplishing his mission—

“papa! papa! candy!”

you raise an eyebrow as toji takes out a piece of candy from his pocket, reserved just for his son. toji was beaming with pride, ruffling megumi’s hair before handing him the delicacy, “here ya go. good job out there, kid.”

you roll your eyes, as that was the only thing you could do after walking right into their trap like that. as per usual.

the cherry on top was that your husband was mocking you like an annoying manchild on the way back home — recalling how worried you reacted when megumi successfully acted like he was crying.

megumi giggled along with his dad, leaving you entirely defenceless. at least you could laugh with them as well.

they got you good.

#ෆ : parenting 101.#jjk x reader #toji x reader #jjk x you #toji fushiguro x reader #jjk fluff #toji fluff #toji fic #jjk fic #toji x you #jjk x y/n #toji x y/n

11K notes · View notes

sukifoof-art · 2 months

Text

heres a silly little post pacifist au i've had for a Good While now which is why i tend to draw hyperdeath asriel and frisk being siblings a lot theres some Info under the cut if ur curious

OKAY SO BASICALLY i like to imagine that after leaving the underground flowey is able to come to terms with. Being Flowey and through therapy learns how to be more open and frisk and papyrus help him a lot through this. i think toriel already Knows hes flowey just cuz of the way he acts shes like "i dont know how. but that is my son boy." and one day he comes home from therapy and goes I Need To Tell You Something. I Am Asriel. and he braces for the way she reacted in the underground but this time around she just goes "im so glad you finally feel comfortable telling me" and they both cry it out

as flowey becomes more comfortable with being himself he starts to mess around with his face to prank frisk cuz he just NEEDS to be an annoying older brother and after he works out his various issues and can see himself more as he is an not there being a clear distinction between asriel and flowey in his brain (ive talked about this a lot i think he sees asriel as different from him cuz of trauma and therapy will help him kind of calm down and go "im still me im just different and older now and also traumatized but despite everything its still me") i think he would be able to make himself look like hyperdeath asriel as its what he feels most comfortable looking like

he still goes by flowey and he moves around like flowey but when hes just standing there he needs a cane both cuz i imagine it kinda hurts and he doesnt have good balance. i like to think that despite being a weird grumpy guy who sits at home all day cuz hes not ready to interact with lots of people yet hes actually a very good brother who cares a lot about frisk and the people around him <3 big brother flowey SO real btw ask to tag if needed

#undertale #utdr #flowey #flowey the flower #asriel #asriel dreemurr #frisk

3K notes · View notes

bamsara · 7 months

Text

Some side characters/cult members for The Rehabilitation of Death. This originally was just supposed to be some light sketches but now they're all fully lined up and colored oops

Info about all of them under the cut:

All followers were designed based off of the actaul follower forms in game. Characters in order:

Bremar 🦊 (He/Him): Boy that often gets peer pressured into doing dangerous or scary things by his friends/bullies. Good heart, not a lot of spine yet.

Finor 🐰 (She/They): Elderly follower. A devoted follower, but much too in the habit of behaving like an overbearing grandmother to those who aren’t even her kits. Comes from bearing so many in life before losing them to heretics in the wilds. Lambert found her already aged out in the forest after her husband and family were slaughtered, and she has been caring for others ever since her rescue. Stern and not a big fan of PDA, but good heart.

Cow Nurse 🐄 (No Name yet, She/Her): A nurse that works in the healing bay; takes care of the injured and sick while the lamb is gone. Stern and easily frustrated but it comes from a place of concern.

The Shrew and The Otter (No names yet) 🐁🦦 (Both She/Her): Lovers that often leave their work posts to be affectionate with each other in secret (even though everyone already knows). Eventually asks the Lamb to officiate their wedding.

Joon 😺 (Any/They/Them) (Otherwise known as 'the yellow cat' from that one COTL short): The best farmer the cult has, wasn't born until long after the bishop's defeats, and is a part of the generation that is blissfully unaware of Bishops prior tyranny. Bright but a little nervous at times, the Lamb asks them to watch over a certain 'new arrival' as their own hands are full, and Joon becomes the unaware caretaker for a certain God of Chaos.

Paazi 🐸 and her parents🦅🦇: (She/Her for Paazi, Unnamed: Eagle is He/Him, Bat is They/Them): Paazi is a orphan rescue from Anura found as young as a tadpole, later adopted by this older couple. She is the frog that fell from the cliffside and was later saved by Narinder, in which gains him her parent's appreciation.

Grekimar 🐷 (He/Him): A lumber worker who was exiled from his village in Anura, and taken in by the cult as 'all past sins are forgiven here'. Very critical of Narinder's presence, and is one spit away from dissension

Jayen 🐻 (He/Him): One of the two followers Narinder killed during his dramatic arrival to the cult grounds when Jayen was just trying to protect his leader, later resurrected by Narinder and Lambert in Chapter 2. Conflicted about Narinder's presence: grateful to be resurrected (Lamb told Jayen that Narinder helped) but still traumatized from the murder. Feels tingly in his hand and arm often. Sweet but nervous.

Tyren 🐶 (He/Him): One of the stone miners. Rescued from Darkwood. The very 'golden lab retriever' personality makes him one of the more friendlier types; this dog has a big crush on the Lamb that goes past prophet idolization.

#TROD Au #the rehabilitation of death #narilamb #cult of the lamb #cotl au #cotl oc #cotl narinder #cotl lamb #cotl leshy #cotl yellow cat #doodles

7K notes · View notes

allpromarlo · 1 year

Text

i love the ravens but i'd do unimaginable things to not have to watch them on saturday

#they have traumatized me enough times the straw should've been cut after that week 2 debacle #that shit will haunt me until the season ends #somehow them playing on saturday on a big ass slate makes it worse #and only one game on sunday? damn boy did the timezones fuck me up again #it doesn't help that juiceman & calais are both out #and well yk. lamar #but i wasn't expecting him to play anyways #dude we gotta have him back for either steelers or bengals this is terrible #rather have him back for steelers tho bc i'm more confident in beating them lmao #bengals are a fucking steam locomotive right now these bitches haven't lost a game in weeks #it's upsetting me and my homegirls but it's the truth #sigh we gon get this playoff berth regardless...hopefully #i have lost faith in them. gudby #nfl #baltimore ravens #i need jtuck to kick a ball through the fucking jumbotron idc #obviously only when we're up 34 which we will not be bc greg roman is a terrorist but hey. a girl can dream #the pain continues #ravensposting

0 notes

psqqa · 8 months

Text

yes, yes i know edgeworth’s big wet eyes and loser boy personality have captivated us all, but listen. listen.

phoenix wright

phoenix “genuinely unable to reconcile the girl on the stand with the girl he dated for eight months, a cognitive dissonance so profound it’s ultimately explained by them being literally two different people, but which he first sits with for five years and does not talk about at any point to anyone” wright

phoenix “don’t mention that name to me. i don’t want to talk about it. i don’t want to think about it. i am just going to keep myself in this state of perpetual crisis mode focus on other people’s problems until eventually i die and get to hang out with mia on the astral plane and never have to deal with any of these emotions ever again” wright

phoenix “overnight loses his career and reputation and sense of identity while gaining an adopted, probably pretty traumatized eight-year-old daughter, and rather than leaning on his friends for help, or getting therapy, or taking any time to process any of this, he *checks notes* spends seven years dedicating all his free time and energy to investigating the weird fucking circumstances around it and maintains a friendship with the guy he suspects was behind it all” wright

phoenix "runs across a burning bridge and falls through it, half a day after the game establishes that he is terrified of heights, because his friend is on the other side of that bridge" wright

phoenix “i sure felt surprised. maybe i had my poker face on” wright

phoenix “looking back on it that was actually a pretty dark period in my life” wright

phoenix “don’t ask me how i got started. i don’t remember” wright

phoenix “only you stood still, your eyes calmly watching” wright

phoenix “sometimes, life just sucks” wright

just

phoenix wright

crunchiest man in the world

and all i wanna do is chew and chew and chew on him

#ace attorney #where are all the people gnawing on phoenix's bones so white??#i need to find the phoenix bone-gnawing corner of this fandom PLEASE #this is me asking for the Phoenix Fic btw #where is the fic meditating on phoenix's whole mental state in general?#where is the fic about how it's phoenix's cageyness and poker face and flat affect under stress that is the hurdle?#the relationship ramifications of being actually really fucking hard to read when it comes down to it?#where is the fic about the week of his disbarment?#the one detailing the panicked blow by blow of it rippling through his social circle while he stands in the eye of the storm?#the one that ends messy and anxious and unresolved because it's week 1 of 7 years?#where is the birth of phoenix wright: poker legend fic?#where is the art school/theatre major phoenix fic?#no not the able to art/act phoenix fic but the kind of person who chooses to go to art school/study theatre phoenix fic #where is the supremely disinterested in pop culture phoenix fic?#where is the actually incredibly meticulous and competent phoenix fic?#capcom can tell me all they want that he's essentially an adhd disaster flying by the seat of his pants making it all up as he goes #but that's not what they're actually showing me #they're the ones who created an in-fiction legal system that functionally necessitates that #and the nature of the game is that phoenix is almost always proven right so rather than him coming off as hare-brained #his opponents rather just come off as short-sighted. either negligently or maliciously so #and the choices the writing makes in service of retaining mystery and audience suspense in fact function to make phoenix a person #who is astute and puts the pieces together but is cautious in his conclusions #i will grant them that phoenix does tend to lose sight of his overarching goal in getting drawn into proving or disproving minor points #the fact that edgeworth on the other hand never loses sight of this or where the various arguments stand in relation to it #is his sexiest trait as a character by far #but those minor points are actually functionally critical to the ultimate argument phoenix makes #so even though i do read that trait through the game mechanics i do also judge the other characters for being dicks about it #my point is phoenix wright does in fact have the character of a lawyer and is conventionally good at his job fucking fight me #my point is that you all have had 20 goddamn years to Rotate this man #my POINT is that there should be Intricate Fucked Up Meditations On Phoenix that rewire my fucking brain and i NEED to know where they are!

2K notes · View notes

r3ynah · 3 months

Text

What's wrong with clones? what's wrong with me?

Dani was greatful for her mom, she was greatful that he was supportive and living when she first met him, and even after the fight she was happy that Danny didn't throw her away with hatred in his eyes, she would've understand it nonetheless, just imagine someone assaulting your DNA to make a copy of you? it was traumatizing or the both parties, based on experience.

But if it wasn't for Danny, she wouldn't be here at this place were she stands. It has been about 20 years since she was born, and her mom step backed from heroism and passed it down to her which she accepted with pride. Her mom deserves a break.

And without her she wouldn't be part of the Justice League, and wouldn't be meeting all this amazing people, they have loved dani and took care of her ever since she joined. and she was happy. what more could she ask for? well she was a bit lonely afterall.. and that was selfish of her, she already have her mom, her friends, what else could she even ask for?

Dani, Hero name Wraith, walked down the halls of the watchtower when she heard a ruckus in one of the meeting rooms, letting her curiosity get the best of her she took a peek in the room, where she found a bunch of Heroes surrounding a boy that looks a little too much like Superman. and Superman in the corner holding his head in stress? Agony? Dani doesn't know.

She stepped into the room, only for Wonder woman to notice her, She gave Dani a wave which she returned with a smile, she moved near Wonder woman in curiosity and asked: "What's going on? why's the Adults surrounding a kid?"

Wonder woman looked at her with a stare she didn't understand, before she answered. "He's a clone of Superman, we found him trying to kill the man, just last week, and this is the first time he's let out." She explained while pointing at the kid.

Dani let out a gasp of delight, "Really? Holy shit. I got to talk to the kid!" Before Diana could stop the girl she was already at the new clone's side, pushing the other heroes away.

The Clone angrly stared at the new person, infront of him. "What you'll interrogate me too?."

"What? Why would you think that?" Dani giggled as she circled the boy, her eyes darting back and forward to superman and the boy to see the similarities. "Ancients, you really look like Superman, what's wrong with you?"

"What do you mean by that?" The kid asked very confused.

"I mean you're healthy and fine, i don't get why the league is going haywire towards you." Wraith chuckled, as she floated upside down infront of the kid.

Silence embraced the room, as the sound of a steel chair echoed throughout the room.

"Didn't you hear what Wonder Woman said Wraith?" Superman walked big steps towards the two making other heroes take a step back, from the man of steel. "It's a clone."

"okay, Okay, Wait i feel i said something wrong?" Dani returned to her normal position, making sure she's not levitating upside anymore as she looked at older man infront of her in confusion. "What's the problem here?"

The room was quiet huh that was unusual with, there was a thick atmosphere that you can cut it with a knife.

"The problem? This is the problem." Superman angrily stated as he pointed at the kid, who looked ready to fight the man infront of him any second now.

"What? superman i don't get its just a clone and a child-" Wraith was cut off rudely. by the man infront of him.

"Ofcourse you don't get it, you don't get how it feels to be cloned, you don't get how traumatizing it is for your DNA to be stolen, That is not a child." Superman snapped, making Dani take a step back. "So stop acting like its a normal kid, that thing will never be like us, because its a mistake created by some lousy villain, who tried to stop and kill me, clones don't deserve love nor respect, and they certainly don't deserve families. Now Stop acting like you get it."

Silence, surrounded the room as Superman finished letting his anger out at Wraith who stared at him wide eyed confusion seen her face, she looked at her peers who only looked apologetic and those who looked down the floor and then there was batman

she shifted her gaze towards the, boy who she can see was trembling, The boy was crying. oh no. no. please don't cry.

"I get it." Wraith stated, keeping her ground, only babies cry she wasn't a baby now, she grew out of that phase.

She returned her gaze back at Superman who still was looking at her. it really looked like he didn't mean to snap at her. But that shit Hurt who knew he had it him, is this what Danny felt when he found out about her, was he in reality sick of her? no. No. Danny loved her, he said so himself.

"Wraith please no-" Wonder woman, called out trying not to get the girl in more trouble.

"No. I get it. I'm really sorry for you Superman, and how you got traumatized by some of your DNA getting stollen, I am really. But with all due respect you can't treat him like a thing, because he's a clone." Wraith spoke back, now more confident than ever. the kid perked up from this and raised his head, he was really crying.

"And what do you know about that? Wraith." Oh no Hero names, She knew she struck a nerve, Superman was back at being angry.

"What I know, is that you're right, clones don't deserve love and respect, clones don't deserve anyone because all they do is hurt and destroy." For a second everyone thought Wraith changed sides. Wraith glared at superman, he wanted her to agree with him, oh she'll agree with him alright. "Clones like me, don't deserve anything."

"What?"

Everyone in the room was shocked but to scared to speak, afraid to start something.

"Thank you, Superman. For showing me that I didn't deserve my mom, Because to be honest you're fucking right, all I did for my mom was pain and agony." Dani was now raising her voice, at the man infront of her.

"You're a clone?" Superman managed to ask, his eyebrows almost touching his hairline.

"Hell yeah, And you know what age he got me. Fourteen, He became my mom at the age of fourteen, he took care of me at the age of fourteen, he loved me like his own daughter at the age of fourteen" Wraith laughed out loud, tears threatening to stream down her face. "You know what's funny superman? I tried to also murder him, I tried to also kill my template. And yet he took me in, and said that it wasn't my fault. it wasn't my fault that i was born, It was never my fault, he comforted me as i cried to him about my other brothers who i watched slowly die and melt apart infront of my eyes, he didn't hate, he didn't isolate, he only loved and cared."

Wraith was now crying. as she gritted her teeth.

"Wrait-"

"you we're right. I didn't deserve my mom. if he had just killed me from the start, he would've been more happy and not worry about me, My mom is the kindest being in the world in my own eyes, and he'd done everything for me ever since he was fourteen." Dani looked down at the ground, with clenched hands. "I was born as a six years old, but in reality i was only two months old. it's funny how im the same age right now when my mom first had me. My body maybe 20, but my brain is 14, keep that in mind Superman."

She looked around her peers, but couldn't see anyone but her reflection in those glass walls, she's crying, she didn't want to cry. "You've been hating on that kid, but Superman let me remind you that kid." She looked at the child who was still sitting on the chair but now with a look of confusion, eyes red from crying. "Is only a few months old despite its physical appearance, you've been hating on a newborn baby, like a deadbeat dad, and that's just sad."

Dani can hear a snort in the background. She swore that sounded like her mom.

Superman looked defeated and guilty, Dani was tired she wanted to cry, in the arms of her mom, but she can't leave the other kid here, so she made a rash decision. "If you don't want him, I'll take him."

Protest engulfed the meeting room, but Dani didn't care, she passed Superman and headed towards the black haired kids, direction. "Wanna come with me?" she asked, while having her hand out for him to take.

The kid looked at her hand, before grabbing it. Dani smiled and summoned a portal, she took the kid with her, her mother's not gonna like this and she might take a break from JL a couple of months, Oh well its all worth it.

1K notes · View notes

fantastic-nonsense · 1 year

Text

My hottake is that people are trying to fit Lockwood into character archetypes he doesn't fit, because they see "traumatized teen boy with a big ego and a passive death wish" and go "oh. emotionally unavailable asshole character" when that's.....not actually the character we're shown.

He's constantly praising Lucy and George. He's often the first one to try and apologize when he gets into a fight with them. The second he clocks Lucy as a "safe person" he becomes super touchy and holds her hand constantly. He compliments George's cooking. He's visibly proud of the people he cares about and publicly defends them on multiple occasions. He repeatedly asks his team if they're okay and tries to get them to open up when they're having issues. He makes an obvious, conscious effort to repeatedly tell Lucy he believes in her and wants her to stay at Portland Row. He smiles and jokes and laughs around with them on a pretty regular basis. He's also emotionally aware enough to tell Lucy "the reason I haven't talked about this subject with you is because it's relevant my childhood, which I don't like to talk about because it's pretty traumatic" when she questions him ahout Jessica's door, and he's kind of astonishingly open about his trauma with Lucy and George despite generally being unwilling to actually talk about the details.

And this applies to characters other than Lucy and George, too. He compliments Kipps' team during the graveyard fight and clearly respects Flo, for example. He's kind to Winkman's son, is generally polite to his clients, and is affected by the death of the undercover agent to the point of having a panic attack. It's pretty clear he cares deeply about the people around him even as he tries to push those closest to him away so they won't mourn him if (when) he dies.

Like yeah, Lockwood has an ego the size of Manhattan, has enough trauma to fill a boat, and is worryingly flippant about the worth of his own life, but he's not the Asshole With a Heart of Gold archetype. He's not cruel or deliberately mean (at least, not to anyone who's not Kipps). He's friendly and pretty kind to most people most of the time, and he openly cares about his team. And it's a little weird that I'm seeing so many people talk about him like he's not.

#lockwood and co #lockwood meta #anthony lockwood #lucy carlyle #george karim #hashtag not all egotistical and emotionally constipated teenage boys are the same!

4K notes · View notes

codtrashsammy · 9 days

Text

Soft Ghoap Thoughts

Don't get me wrong, i'm a feral freak for all the dark!Ghoap content, too. ...but like... lil idiot soft boys who know they love you but also know they love each other and don't know how to use Google to properly define anything between y'all Maybe you met Johnny first and you guys just clicked and then somehow Simon showed up, and now you're all just a sweet little trio And it's not even sexual for the longest time- Simon would be far too traumatized to just go for that and Johnny has his whole manwhore persona, so he wouldn't want to risk pushing you away in the slightest. So you just casually have these two big ass military duded in your apartment (a house? In this economy?) that just casually exist with you. Simon cursing while trying to fix that leaky faucet you've had since before you even moved in, while griping and barking at Johnny to hold the flashlight steady and you're just sitting on the counter watching it all in amusement. (Simon: Bloody hell, just HOLD the thing Johnny: 'm tryin' real hard, LT, real hard Simon: You're clearly fucking NOT and really they're only doing it because of your little giggles and quips as you sit over their shoulder watching, such a pretty baby for them, just bein' around them and blessing them with your presence) Johnny with his arms wrapped around you after a bad day at work and Simon just comes over and flops down nearby like a cat who wants attention but isn't willing to ask for it- so they both just hand around and kinda comfort you, but really they just wanna touch you. You, who is so confused because one minute they're griping and bantering with each other and the next you have Johnny leaving little kisses on your cheeks with a dumb grin while Simon just happily interlocks your fingers with his when you're walking back home from the bar. Simon and Johnny both who are as obsessed and in love with each other as they are you but are too scared to put a label to it in case that's what finally scares you off and they'd rather have some of you than none of you at all. Okay, more soft thoughts coming later <3 I love these war gremlins sm

#ghoap x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley x reader #ghost x reader #ghost x you #simon ghost x reader #johnny soap mactavish x reader #ghost x you x soap #simon x reader x johnny #sammys soft times #cod x you #cod x reader #cod imagine #cod fluff

505 notes · View notes

wilwheaton · 10 months

Text

When you watch The Curse, you are watching two children who were abused and exploited daily during production. No adults protected us.

This was originally published on my blog in August, 2022.

I had a wonderful time at Steel City Comicon this weekend. It was my first time at this particular con, so I didn’t know there was such a huge contingent of horror fans, creators, and vendors who attend.

I love horror, and I was pretty psyched to be in the same place as John Carpenter and Tom Savini, across the street from the Dawn of the Dead mall. Pittsburgh feels like one of the places horror was invented, at least to me.

A number of these horror fans came to see me, and asked me to sign posters and other things from a movie my parents forced me to do when I was 13, called The Curse. I had to tell each of these people that I would not sign anything associated with that movie, because I was abused and exploited during production. The time I spent on that film remains the most traumatizing time of my life, and though I am a 50 year-old man, just typing this now makes my hands shake with remembered fear of a 13 year-old boy who nobody protected, and the absolute fury the 50 year-old man feels toward the people who hurt him.

I told this story in Still Just A Geek, and I’ve talked about it in some podcasts I did on the promo tour, but I’ve never put it out in public like this, in its entirety.

I suspect someone at the publisher would prefer I tease this and hope it drives book sales from people who want to read all of it, but I honestly don’t want to have another weekend like this one where everything is awesome, except the few times people who have no idea (and why should they) put that fucking poster in front of me, and all the fear, abandonment, and trauma come flooding back as I tell them that I won’t sign it, and why.

To their credit, each person was as horrified as they should have been, told me they had no idea (if they didn’t read my book why would they), and quickly put the poster away. They were all understanding. I am grateful for that.

But I really don’t need to tell this story over and over again, so here it is, with a child abuse and exploitation content warning, so I can just tell people to Google it.

After Stand by Me, everything changed. The attention from entertainment journalists, casting directors, and especially teen magazines came pouring in. The movie was a generational hit, beloved by critics and audiences alike, and every single one of us could pick anything to do next.

River’s parents and his agent got him Mosquito Coast, with Harrison Ford, as his next movie. I also auditioned for the role, but I knew even then that River was going to book the job. He was perfect, and I’d have to wait a little bit for my opportunity to come along.

I went on a lot of theatrical auditions after Stand by Me. I had tons of meetings with directors and the heads of casting at every major studio. It was all a very big deal, and I felt like we were all looking for something really special and amazing as my follow-up to Stand by Me.

At some point, a couple of producers contacted my agent with an offer to play one of the leads in an adaptation of H. P. Lovecraft’s “The Colour Out of Space.” The script was titled The Farm. (It would, of course, be changed when the film was released).

I read it. I did not like it. It was a shitty horror movie, and I saw that right away. It was the sort of thing you rented on Friday when the new release you wanted was already out of the store.

My mother, already an incredibly manipulative person, used every tool at her disposal to change my mind. My father threatened me, mocked me, told me “It’s your decision” when it clearly wasn’t. It was all so weird; I didn’t understand why they cared so much.

I told my parents I didn’t like it and didn’t want to do it. I clearly recall thinking it was a piece of shit that would hurt my career.

It wasn’t the first thing that had come our way that I wanted to pass on, and every other time, it hadn’t been a very big deal.

Sidebar: I was cast in Twilight Zone: The Movie, in 1983. The film tells four stories, and I was cast as the kid who can wish people into cartoonland. It was a GREAT role, in a movie I still love. (Note that Twilight Zone had four directors. One of them got three people killed. The segment I was cast in was not that one. I mention this because too many people zero in on this to deflect from what this whole thing is actually about.)

But I was CONVINCED by my parochial school teacher that if I worked on The Twilight Zone, which she had determined was satanic, I would go to hell. (This woman and her bullshit played a big role in my conversion to atheism at a young age, but when she told me that, I was all-in on the supernatural story they taught us in religion class.) I was so scared, more scared than I’d ever been to that point in my life, I cried and wailed and begged my parents to not make me do the movie. And I never told them why, because I was afraid my dad would laugh at me for being weak and afraid. My agent tried to talk me into it, and I wouldn’t budge. It’s the only thing I deeply and truly regret passing on, and I really hate I made that choice for such a stupid reason.

Okay. Back to The Curse.

This time, when I told them how much I hated it, they wouldn’t listen to me. My mother, already an incredibly manipulative person, used every tool at her disposal to change my mind. My father threatened me, mocked me, told me “It’s your decision” when it clearly wasn’t. It was all so weird; I didn’t understand why they cared so much.

That is, until they made me take a meeting with the producers of the movie, in their giant conference room on the top floor of a tall building in Hollywood. All I remember about this place was that it was huge; the table was way too big for the five of us who spread around it, and there were floor-to-ceiling windows on three of the walls, but the room was still dark. There was a weird optical illusion in the center of the table, this thing they sold in the Sharper Image catalog, made from two reflective dishes with a hole in the top of one. You placed an object in the bottom of the bottom dish, and it made it look like that object was floating above the whole thing. They had a plastic spider in it. What a strange detail for me to remember, but it’s as clear in my memory as if I were sitting in that room right now.

One man, who I presumed was the executive producer, was European or Middle Eastern (I didn’t know the difference then, he was just Not Like People I Knew), and I was instantly afraid of him. He was intimidating, and seemed like a person who got what he wanted.

So we sat there, my father who didn’t give a shit about me, my mother who was cosplaying as someone with experience, and me, thirteen years old, awkward as fuck, and scared to death.

I don’t remember what they said to me in their pitch or anything other than how uncomfortable and anxious I was to even be in that room. I tried so hard to be grown up and mature, but I — and my parents — was way out of my depth. I’d done one big movie and that was it. We didn’t have my agent with us, who had lots of experience and would have known what questions to ask.

No, in place of my experienced agent, my mother had decided she was going to be my manager, and she tackled the responsibility with an enthusiasm that was only matched by her absolute incompetence and inability to go toe-to-toe with producers the way my agent did. She was outwitted, out-thought, and outmaneuvered at every turn.

“You don’t have a choice,” my father commanded. “You are doing this movie.”

So we sat there, my father who didn’t give a shit about me, my mother who was cosplaying as someone with experience, and me, thirteen years old, awkward as fuck, and scared to death.

At some point, this man, who is represented in my memory by big Jim Jones sunglasses under dark hair above an open collar, said, “We are offering you a hundred thousand dollars and round-trip travel for your whole family. We will cast your sister, Amy, to play your sister in the movie.”

It all made sense, now. I was only thirteen, but I knew my parents were pushing me so hard because this company was offering me — them, really — more money than I’d ever imagined I’d earn in my life, much less a single job.

I knew that the right thing to do, the smart thing to do, was to say no. There would be other opportunities, and it was stupid to cash myself out of feature films for what I thought was, in the grand scheme of things, not very much money.

It’s incredible to me that I knew all of this. It’s incredible to me that I could see all these things, plainly and clearly, and my parents couldn’t (or, more likely, chose not to).

So after this man made his offer, all the adults in the room ganged up on me, selling me HARD on this movie.

My mother said, “Don’t you want your sister to have the same opportunities you’ve had? Wouldn’t it be fun and exciting to go to Rome? Think of all the history!”

The experience was awful. It was the worst experience I have ever had on a set in my life, by every single metric. The movie is awful, and it is the embarrassment I knew it would be.

I don’t think about this very often, because it’s super upsetting to me. Right now, I’m so angry at my parents for subjecting me and my sister to this entire experience. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

In that moment, I felt bullied and trapped. All these adults were talking to me at the same time, and I just wanted it to stop. I just wanted to go home and get out of this room. I just wanted to go be a kid, so I did what I’d learned to do to survive: I gave in and did what my parents wanted.

The experience was awful. It was the worst experience I have ever had on a set in my life, by every single metric. The movie is awful, and it is the embarrassment I knew it would be.

But here’s the thing: when you watch The Curse, you are watching two children, me and my sister, who were abused on a daily basis. The production did not follow a single labor law. They worked us for twelve hours a day, on multiple film units (while I work on First unit, second unit sets up and waits for me. When I should get a break to rest, they send me to Second unit, then to Third unit, then back to First unit. I was 13.) without any breaks, five days a week. I was exhausted the entire time. I was inappropriately touched by two different adults during production. I knew it was wrong, but I was so scared and ashamed, and I felt so unsupported, I didn’t tell anyone. I knew my dad wouldn’t believe me, and my mother would blame me. Anything to keep the production happy, that’s what she did. That was more important to her than the health and safety of her children. The director was coked out of his mind most of the time, incompetent, and so busy fucking or trying to fuck one of the women in the cast, he was worse than useless. He was a fading actor who was cosplaying as a director, as in over his head as my mother. My sister and I were never safe. Instead of harmless atmospheric SFX smoke, they set hay on fire in barrels and blew actual smoke onto the set. They took buckets of talc, broken wood, bits of wallpaper and plaster, and threw it into my face during a scene inside the collapsing house. My sister is in a scene where she goes to get eggs from some chickens, and they attack her. So they hired Lucio Fulci, the Italian horror master, to direct her sequence. His idea, which everyone was totally on board with, was to throw chickens at my sister. Live chickens, live roosters, live birds. Just throw them at a nine-year-old girl. Oh, and then tie them to her arms and legs so they’ll peck her. All of this happened under my mother’s observation, and with her full participation.

Everything I need to know about who my parents are is wrapped up in that experience: the total lack of concern for my safety and happiness, treating me like an asset instead of a son, lying to me, manipulating me, and using me to get things they wanted, and then gaslighting me about it.

If just ONE of the things I can remember happened to someone I loved, I would have grabbed my kids, gone to the airport, and flown home. Fuck those abusive assholes in the production. Let the lawyers sort it all out. Nobody hurts my children and gets away with it.

My mom says she “had some talks” with the producers. She claims that, once, she wouldn’t let us leave the hotel. (God, what a fucking dump that place was. It was just slightly better than a hostel.) I have no memory of that, but honestly the entire experience was so traumatic, I’ve blocked most of it out.

The movie was the commercial and critical failure I knew it would be. My parents spent the money. I don’t know what they spent it on. I got to keep fifteen cents of every dollar, so . . . yay?

My sister and I hardly ever talk about this. I suspect it was as upsetting and traumatic for her as it was for me. I told her I was writing about it, and asked her if she remembered anything. She told me she’d been lied to her whole life about this movie. Our mother let her believe she had been cast on the strength of her audition. “I was excited to work with you,” she said. She reminded me about some stuff I’d blocked out, including a scene where my character’s older brother (played by an actor named Malcolm Danare, who was kind and gentle, and made both of us feel safer when he was around) shoves my character into a pile of cow shit. When it came time to shoot the scene, the mud they’d put together to be the cow shit looked an awful lot like cow shit. When Malcolm pushed me into it, we all found out it was real cow shit. I was FURIOUS. The director had lied to me and had allowed me to have my entire body shoved into an actual pile of actual cow shit. I don’t remember what I said, but I remember he treated me the exact same way my father did whenever I got upset: he laughed at me, told me I was being too sensitive, reminded me that he was the director and he wanted to get a “real” performance out of me, and concluded, “If it bothers you so much, we’ll get you a hepatitis shot,” before he walked away.

My sister also recalled that, after she survived the scene with the chickens, it was the producers’ idea to give her one as a pet.

Okay, let’s unpack that for a quick second: you’ve been traumatized by these birds, so we’re going to give you one as a pet. That you’ll somehow keep in your hotel, and then will somehow get back to America. It will shock you to learn that neither of those things happened.

She remembered, as I do, the huge fight I had with my parents in our kitchen, where I told them I hated the script and I hated the movie. I didn’t want to do it, and I hated that they were making me do it.

“You don’t have a choice,” my father commanded. “You are doing this movie.”

“This is the only film you are being offered,” my mother lied to me. She made me feel like, if I didn’t do this movie, I would never do another movie again in my life. I had to do this movie. As my father bellowed, I had no choice.

Both of my parents denied this argument ever happened. Can I tell you how reassuring it is to know that my sister, who was also there, remembers it the same way I do?

The makeup department decided they would literally cut my little sister’s face with a scalpel, in three places, and put bandages over them.

But one thing she told me, the thing I did not know, the thing that makes me so angry I want to break things, actually managed to make the entire experience even worse than I remembered it.

There’s a scene after her chicken incident where I check up on her in her bedroom. She’s got cuts and bruises, and I guess we talk about it. I don’t remember and I can’t watch the movie because I’m terrified it will give me a PTSD flashback (I’ve had one of those and I recommend avoiding it). Here’s the thing about that scene: she has some cuts on her face, and those cuts are real. They are not makeup.

I’m going to repeat that. My nine-year-old little sister had actual cuts on her face that were placed there by an adult, on purpose.

The makeup department decided they would literally cut my little sister’s face with a scalpel, in three places, and put bandages over them. My sister told me our mother wasn’t in the makeup room when this happened — honestly, it seemed like our mother was strangely and conveniently absent when most of the really terrible things happened to us on the set — and when my sister told her what they’d done, she “lost her shit” at the production. She was pissed, I guess, which is appropriate and surprising. I wonder what would have to have happened for her to put us on a plane and get us home to safety? I mean, her son being abused daily didn’t do it, and her daughter being CUT IN THE FACE ON PURPOSE didn’t do it.

I just . . . I can’t. I can’t understand or comprehend allowing your own children to be physically and emotionally abused. They were literally selling my sister and me to these people, like we were some kind of commodity.

This was a tough conversation. My sister’s experience with our parents is very different from mine. My sister and I love each other. We’re close. I know it’s hard for her to hear that her brother, who she loves, was so abused by her parents, who she also loves. I was really grateful she made the time to talk to me about it, and grateful the experience wasn’t as horrible for her as it was for me.

As we were finishing our call, Amy also remembered one man, a young Italian named Luka, who was our driver for the movie. I haven’t thought about him in thirty years, but I can see his face now. He was kind, he was friendly, he taught us how to kick a soccer ball, and in the middle of an abusive, torturous experience, he stood out as a kind and gentle man. I mention him because she remembered him, which made me remember him, and goddammit I want at least one small part of this thing to not be awful.

The Curse remains one of the most consequential times the adults in my life failed to protect me. I’m 50. I still have nightmares.

Ultimately, as I predicted and feared, this piece of shit movie cashed me out of respectable films forever. I got offers for movies, but they were always mindless comedies or exploitative horror films. They were never the serious dramas I wanted to work in after Stand by Me. The industry looked at me and River, wondering if one or both of us would become a breakout star. They quickly saw that River was doing real acting work, and I was in this piece of shit. For River, Stand by Me was a beginning. For me, it would turn out to be pretty much everything, at least as far as film goes.

There are thousands of reasons film careers do and don’t take off. Maybe mine wouldn’t have taken off anyway. Clearly, it’s not where my life ended up, and I’m super okay with that now. But when all of this happened, it hurt and haunted me.

The Curse remains one of the most consequential times the adults in my life failed to protect me. I’m 50. I still have nightmares. Everything I need to know about who my parents are is wrapped up in that experience: the total lack of concern for my safety and happiness, treating me like an asset instead of a son, lying to me, manipulating me, and using me to get things they wanted, and then gaslighting me about it.

This annotation is the last thing I wrote before I turned this manuscript in, because opening these wounds is hard and painful. I put it off as long as I could, and I feel like I’m still holding back, because just this small glimpse of the experience has taken me a week to write. I can’t imagine trying to go back and unpack the whole thing. (Note that is not in the book: I’ve made an EMDR appointment to work on this because the nightmares have come back after the weekend).

Fuck The Curse, and fuck every single person who exploited and hurt two beautiful children to make it. You all participated in child abuse, and you all knew better. Shame on all of you. I hope this follows you to the end of your life. I hope that living with what you did to innocent children has been as hard for you as it has been for me, because you deserve no less.

#tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw exploitation #child actor #still just a geek #lucio fulci #trauma survivor #speaking up for the child who was silenced by his abusers

2K notes · View notes