#the mad writer's back - not like i ever truly left

[coldflasher]

what i REALLY wanna know is why they DID use the rogues, but only in like. shitty in-universe tie-in novels written by people who could barely string a sentence together and apparently watched the show whilst blindfolded and wearing earmuffs 

#i read this truly AWFUL flash novel #it was SO BAD #i was like. there are at least 10 ppl on ao3 i could name off the top of my head who could have done a better job with their hands behind #their back. typing the whole thing by slamming their head repeatedly on the keyboard #and i was mad because the CONCEPT was actually pretty good #and we got a rogues subplot with hartley leading mardon and baez and biovolo #basically doing what i have REPEATEDLY said they should do: divide and conquer #because barry can't be in several places at once #well. he can. but not without consequences lmao #CONCEPTUALLY it fucked #however. the execution... #*voice of the lizard woman from sing as she pours a cup of tea* yes. that was very bad #the writers claimed to have seen the show. i do not believe them #NOBODY was in character #iris kept saying 'oh lord' every five seconds which. have those words EVER left her mouth??? #someone. got paid to write it #I would personally have paid them to backspace for several hours and delete the whole thing. it would have been a mercy killing #the only saving grace is that len wasn't in it so they didn't get to add insult to injury by butchering his characterization on top of #everyone else's #anyway i get that the lack of rogues was PROBABLY due to budgetary reasons but im still mad about it

[avelera]

I admittedly haven’t seen much OFMD S2 criticism but I did masochistically go looking to see what the major complaints were.

I’m not all that interested in addressing individual critiques. Some of them made sense to me. Some of them were a bit silly. Some were clearly based on the show not being the fanfic people had written in their heads after they watched S1. Some were mad for the inevitable shipping reasons.

But what I think is the most important thing for OFMD fans and fans of any ongoing story to remember is this:

The sequel will never be able to match the fact you watched the first part without preconceived expectations.

No second season of OFMD could ever match the fact that no one was expecting Season 1. They weren’t expecting the kiss. They can’t recapture the uncertainty and euphoria of that relationship becoming canon. They can’t recreate the audience discovering its unique mix of Muppet humor and heartfelt drama with glancing moments of historical accuracy, all awash in stageplay level special effects as a love letter to old-school pirate plays and musicals. You can’t ever experience that again for the first time.

If these two seasons had aired back to back, far from seeing a decrease in quality or change in tone, I think you’d find they match one another very closely and seamlessly throughout. It was only the long break that allowed people to imagine certain story beats or characterizations or threads like historical accuracy as being more important than they were.

If Season 1 had ended, say, with the, “Never left.” beat while “The Chain” played as the last thing we saw before the credits rolled and the wait for S2 began, the fandom landscape and expectations would have been wildly different. But then, every OFMD episode adds wildly new elements, they’re all very different from each other, and anyone who thought any one those elements would be the new constant tone of the show going forward would be wrong. And yet, that’s what happened inevitably after the last episode of S1.

Honestly, I thought it was a bit of a shame, from a fanfic writer perspective only, that S1 ended on such a dark note because it was so out of keeping with 90% of the rest of the show but inevitably, I knew the fandom and fan writers would latch onto that dark thread in an effort to continue the story, since it’s where S1 left off. But OFMD was always going to resolve that separation quickly then return to humor and hijinks (albeit with notes of drama and more serious emotions, as it always has) , it’s right there in the romcom plot structure, a structure which owes much more to OFMD’s DNA than any historical pirate drama.

*Sigh* Anyway, I’m excited for the season finale. And truly I haven’t seen much criticism, but I’ve been chewing on these thoughts since I woke up to critiques of ep 6-7 last week and was then baffled by it once I saw the episodes myself. So there it is.

#ofmd #ofmd meta #our flag means death

[sixzeroes]

walltalk.

summary | na jaemin has always been the bane of your existence—but he’s also been the centre of your sexual desires.

characters | villain!jaemin x hero!reader(f).

genres | smut, pwnp, bnha au, non-idol au.

warnings | profanity, brief description of blood, jaemin talks about murdering reader, slight hostage situation, sex, rough sex?, mentions of blowjob, use of ‘princess,’ giselle (and ten) lowkey cockblocking at the end.

word count | 2.2k.

so, this was actually posted on one of my old accounts before i decided to delete that and move here without anyone knowing. it did get around 400 notes, so if you recognise this, i am the original writer of it!! i don’t associate myself with that account or pseudonym anymore, but i just couldn’t let this one sit in my files so yeah :))

YOU CAN’T DIE YET.

It’s too early to bid goodbye to the world. There are many things you’ve yet to experience, and millions of people cheering you on. You still need to reach the number one spot. You still need to watch the new Disney movie releasing next week. You still need to try out the mint chocolate fusion that’s been the craze the past few days. You still need to travel to Greece and admire the Athena Parthenon. You still need to—

Bottom line is, there’s hundreds of thousands of reasons as to why your life must be prolonged. You’re a heroine, and your career has just begun. 

No, you truly can’t die yet.

But Na Jaemin seems to think the opposite. 

The room—prison—you’re confined to is dark, only a sliver of moonlight slipping through the barred window. In the middle of the room stands a chair, a blond man sitting with his chest against the back. His arms cross over the top rail, one foot tapping against the ground in a rather erratic rhythm. His all-too-familiar smile is terrifying, and you resist shuddering under his wicked gaze. 

“Maybe I’ll slit your throat,” he muses, watching your every action. Ice forms along his hand, creating a claw-like silhouette in the dim light. You gulp, a little intimidated by his power. 

“As if I’d let you,” you huff, sharpening your glower to prove his presence isn’t feared. “You’ve got nothing on me.”

That’s a huge lie. Both you and Jaemin know it. The blonde laughs at your revelation, the ice melting off of his skin. It hits the ground—drip, drip—and forms a puddle at his feet. “Your courage hasn’t changed, Y/N, but neither has the gap between you and I. You may be dubbed a strong hero, but you know better than everyone that you can’t beat me.” 

He hasn’t stabbed you yet, but the harsh reality of his words burn a humiliating pain in your heart. 

“What use is strength if your intelligence can’t keep up?” you sneer, referring to your high school era just like he had. “Don’t forget, you were always second to me in every theoretical exam.” 

You barely flinch when an icicle crumbles against the wall beside your head. The skin over your left cheekbone breaks apart into a cut, a thin stream of blood tracing the curve of your face. Jaemin tosses the chair away, the loud bang leaving a ringing in your ears. He’s mad, and it’s because of you. 

You can’t die yet, but you’re about to. 

Fuck. All because you refused to follow Ten’s suicidal mission. Well, it’s not like yours isn’t life-threatening either, but there’s less lives getting claimed. 

“You know, you always pissed me off,” growls Jaemin, crouching in front of you. Even though he’s left you untied, you make no move to attack him in hopes of escaping. And that’s the thing—you can’t escape, and you know. He knows. Na Jaemin is too strong for you to outrun. 

You spit, “The feeling’s mutual.”

There’s no way you and Jaemin could ever get along with each other, much less develop feelings opposite to the word hate. In high school, it was always a battle between the two of you. Na Jaemin—first in practical exams, second in theoretical. And you—first in theoretical exams, second in practical. To be frank, the two of you would’ve been a formidable pair if it wasn’t for his egoistic attitude and your competitive personality. If it was doubtful then, it’s impossible now. 

After all, Jaemin’s become the very villain he once wished to eradicate. 

“I saw you on television, all your interviews, the blurry cuts of you fighting. Made me wanna wipe that stupid smile off of your fucking face.” 

The rivalry between you and Jaemin wasn’t unnoticed by your peers during the three years of high school. But what most failed to detect was the sexual tension that brimmed beneath the surface of the enmity. 

“I saw you too, on Wanted posters.” you hiss, wiping the blood on your cheek. It’s a little dried. “Looking all smug for a hero turned evil.” 

Jaemin chuckles, prodding his inner cheek with his tongue. He looks to the side, then he glares straight into your eyes. “What can I say? The criminals are less corrupt than the righteous hero industry.” The blond man mimics quotation marks with his hand at the word righteous. “You, too, are a waste as a hero. Why don’t you join me? Wipe the damn system and build a new one from scratch. Doyoung doesn’t bite, you know. He likes pretty girls like you. I do, too.” 

You don’t retaliate with phrases that glorify the hero industry. Jaemin’s right, albeit you refuse to outright acknowledge it. Instead, you snap, “Fuck you.”

He licks his lips. “Is that consent?”

Yes. “No.” 

Your head jerks backwards as Jaemin grabs your face with force, a throb lingering from the impact against the wall. His fingers dig into your cheeks, thumb dipped in your drying blood. Your hands grip his forearm and he tugs you forwards, decreasing the proximity between his face and yours. It’s faint, but a peach scent surrounds the man. 

Jaemin runs his thumb against your lips, and a metallic taste overrides your senses. “I’ll ask again, Y/N. Is”—he parts your lips with the push of his thumb—“that”—his nail grazes your tongue—“consent?” 

A beat.

“Yes.”

Before you can release the entire breath, his hand wraps around your throat in a rough yet careful choke. With brute strength, Jaemin lifts you onto your feet, your knees buckling at the sudden exertion. There’s no time to adjust as his lips latch onto yours, snagging whatever oxygen you have left. He’s always been impatient, and even during foreplay, he shows no patience. 

Your heavy pants fill the silence as he devours your lips, his tongue sliding against your tongue. Your lips that were chapped are now moist, saliva leaking from the corner of your lips. His empty hand situates itself on your hip, and you gasp when he runs it up under your shirt. 

“Would’ve been sexier if you had your flimsy costume on,” he muttered against your lips. “Always wanted to strip you of that red abomination.” 

“Sh—Shut up,” you groan, his hand grasping your breast. Your eyes flutter when he pushes aside your bra and pinches your nipple. The act leaves your core throbbing, aching for more. “Fuck, finger me.”

Jaemin kisses your chin. “If you blow me after, sure.”

You make the effort to glare at him. “I fucking hate y—oh.” Your jaw slacks as he shoves the hand on your neck into the warmth of your underwear, knuckles grazing the damp fabric. 

“So wet, princess,” he jeers, using the nickname you loathed during the start of your youth. “I wonder who you’re so aroused for?”

“Jeno, obviously,” you scoff, and Jaemin pulls away from you, his touch leaving your skin. “Wh—hey!”

The blonde distances himself from you, licking his fingers clean of your essence. “Hm?” he hums, an eyebrow raised. “I’m not about to fuck a girl who’s got another man’s name on her mind.” 

You lean against the wall for support. “Holy fuck, you’re so lame.”

“Run to Jeno, then.”

Fuck. You swallow his saliva from the messy kiss, and with it, your pride. “Shit. Fine, I’m sorry. Can you fuck me now? I’ll even suck your dick.” 

Jaemin beams, and it has your pussy dripping. “Of course! Since my princess asked so nicely,” he sings, daintily taking your hands in his. Your heart stutters as he places gentle kisses along your knuckles, and then the pad of your fingers. It’s sweet, until he throws your hands up and restrains them against the wall with ice. 

“How pretty,” he muses, trailing his pointer finger down your cheek. Jaemin bunches your shirt and bra so it sits atop your chest, revealing your bare breasts. You shiver from the chill, but are warmed right away when his hands roam your torso. A gasp rips from your throat when the man teases your pants down, sliding two long fingers into your cunt. Soft and shaky moans tumble from your lips, prompting Jaemin to move his fingers. His thumb—the blood clad one—circles your clit, fingers pulsing in and out of you with ease. He’s cruel, dragging the tip of his digits against the soft flesh of your walls. 

As Jaemin fingers you, he seals your lips with his once again in a breathless kiss. Your tongue meshes with his, teeth clashing every so often. One hand returns to your neck, laying at the base in a tough hold. “Oh—” you mewl, “I’m so—”

Jaemin removes his fingers, and you fall limp, the restraints preventing you from crumpling to the floor. Your mind is hazy, but you manage to say, “You’re such a bitch.” 

“Mhm, I am, princess.” he coos, unbuckling the belt looped around his jeans. Like you, he’s in casual attire, having dressed in civilian clothing when kidnapping you in the mall. He unzips the fly, head thrown back as he frees his hard dick. You whimper, biting your lower lip at the sight. “Aren’t you so honest?” 

“Fuck,” you groan, touch-deprived. “It’s huge.”

“Can you make a condom?” he asks, slapping his length against your bare stomach. The precum smears all over your pretty skin. “I didn’t bring one, and I’d rather not get you pregnant.” 

Jaemin’s either dumb or clever for relying on you to whip out protection. But you obey, formulating a packaged condom with whatever lipids left in your body. It pops out of your arm, and Jaemin catches it with a lopsided grin. He rips the packet open with his teeth, tossing the foil aside whilst rolling the plastic over his dick. You watch, counting down the seconds until he’s inside. 

“Are you ready?” he whispers, lips grazing your ear. 

“…Yes.” 

Your answer is all he needs as he pushes into you, easily slipping in with the help of your lubrication. You release a shaky moan, eyes rolling back from pure pleasure. Jaemin hauls one of your legs over his bicep, and he catches your face in his hand. Your lustful gaze meets his, and you feel a thrill run down your spine at the look in his eyes. 

He’s hungry—sex hungry, and you’re his doll to ruin. 

Slowly, Jaemin pulls out before thrusting, the tip of his dick prodding your cervix. You cry out, hitting the ice wrapped around your wrists. Over and over and over again, Jaemin pounds into you, groaning the dirtiest words as does. Your back hits the wall every time his hips meet yours, but the pain drowns in the plethora of pleasure. 

“So tight,” he rasps, speed increasing by the second. “You feel so, so fucking good.”

“Ah, oh my—god,” you whine, chasing his lips. He grants you a kiss, and you murmur, “Harder, fuck me harder.” 

Challenges are a way to rile Jaemin up, and it seems he’s taken your plea as one. The villain grips your thighs as he lets out a low, guttural growl. He thrusts faster, at a speed you can’t comprehend. You’re seeing stars, tasting stars, in an absolute bliss no writer can describe. Jaemin stutters each time you clench around his dick, your pussy sending him into overdrive. 

“Hey, cum for me.” he mutters, biting your lower lip. 

You pant, running out of breath. “I’m close,” you chant, relishing the way his entire length fits inside of you. You beg, “Please—please don’t stop.”

“Keep asking.”

“Finish me off, Jaemin,” you moan. “I’m so close!”

Jaemin reaches for the restraints, melting them with his left hand. In one swift motion, he turns you so your cheek lays flat against the wall, ass out for him to see. He whistles, fondling the soft flesh. Your mewls don’t stop, spilling endlessly as he continues to slam into you. 

“Jaemin!” you cry, clenching around his dick. “Close—close—so close—”

“Let it out, princess.”

And you do, orgasming with his dick still inside. You whimper when he keeps thrusting, chasing his high while simultaneously overstimulating you. Your mind is hazy when he draws his dick out, the condom full of his cum. Support is gone as Jaemin backs away, and you fall to the ground, recovering from the wild fuck you just had. 

“Shit, maybe I should’ve come on your face,” he mutters, fixing his pants. Shirtless, he crouches so his eyes are parallel to yours. “You good?” 

You spit and it lands on his chin. “I’m still trapped, asshole.” 

“If you blow me—��

His words are cut short when the window explodes, the building crumbling from the impact. Both you and Jaemin glance over to the gaping hole in the wall, a confused Giselle standing atop the debris. She scans your half-naked body, then his lack of shirt, and analyzes the scene in no time. 

“Ten! They fucked!” 

A snicker flies from Jaemin’s lips as he tosses his shirt back on, ruffling his blond hair in amusement. The man glimpses Giselle’s preoccupied state and looks back at you. With a wink, he says, “I’ll contact you for that blowjob. Later, princess.” 

You simply blink as he runs off, escaping before he’s forced to engage in a (tedious) fight. When reality hits you and your mind registers his words, a disturbed scowl settles on your face. 

You can’t die yet.

And for now, Na Jaemin seems to think the same as he hints at an upcoming rendezvous.

© NABI (2023); ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

#neohub #nct u #nct dream #nct #na jaemin #jaemin smut #jaemin scenarios #jaemin oneshot #jaemin imagines #jaemin au #jaemin ff #jaemin fanfic #jaemin x reader #na jaemin x reader

[agent-grey-fics]

Who we are | Paul Lahote | Part 2

Paired: Paul Lahote x reader

Wordcount: 1116

Summary: Haunted by the imprint that binds him to you, Paul struggles in silence . The weight of his secret and the fear of your reaction build as he contemplates confessing. Memories of a life-altering moment and a pack urging honesty propel him into the night as a wolf, leaving his internal dilemma echoing in the moonlit forest.

Writers note: Here is part 2 of 'who we are', you can read part 1 here. It's a shorter transition part, better be readey for part 3 :p Part 3

The whole ride he didn't speak a word to you. As you closed the car door a sigh escaped his lips. He didn’t realize that he had been holding his breath. Shaking his head, he started his drive home. He was lost in his thoughts. How was he ever going to tell you what he was a part of? What you were part of because of him. He thought back to the moment when everything changed. 

The boys had organized a birthday party for Emily almost two years ago. Everything had been arranged: they had cooked, there was enough alcohol for an entire army, and Embry had arranged a music system for a house party. Everything was going according to plan until you walked in. When the two of you locked eyes it was as if the earth stopped turning. Gravity pulled him toward you while a glowing heat filled him, and everyone and everything else in his life became secondary. He stood rooted to the ground, he never wanted this in the first place and now it was you. The two of you didn’t say a thing and his brothers shared meaningful glances. They knew. You walked towards him, feeling the universal pull and a smile formed on your lips. Confusion clouded your head, all you knew was that you wanted to be close to him. All he could do was turn around, he couldn't get out of the house fast enough.

Since that moment he avoided you like the plague. Ignoring the bond made him even more volatile and his anger outbursts spiralled out of control. Sam had reminded him several times that he needed to embrace the bond, that it could ground him but he would have none of it. He couldn't commit to one person for the rest of his life and depend on her to keep him sane. He simply couldn't, he didn't want to. He never truly loved someone and he didn’t love you before the stupid imprint. There had been a chemistry between the two of you, he couldn’t deny that but it wasn’t love. It was sexual tension, you put him in his place and didn’t take his shit. 

He had considered his options. He could be selfish, tell you everything and knowing you, you wouldn’t run. You would stay if you knew that staying away from him made him go mad. but he didn't think that was fair. For years you had told him you wanted to start over somewhere new, under the sun. But he knew that it wasn’t fair. For years you had told him you wanted to start over somewhere new, under the sun instead of the shitty weather of Washington. He couldn’t be selfish, not when it came to you. Before he realised it, he had left his car on his driveway and shifted into the silver-furred wolf. He started running as fast as his paws could carry him. The night air rushed past Paul as he ran through the dense forest, the rhythmic pounding of his paws against the ground echoing the turmoil within him. The pack's voices buzzed in his mind, each one urging him to confront the truth, to face the consequences of his actions. ‘Dude, what did you do?’ ‘Where did you go?’ Quill and Embry asked through their mind link. ‘Leave me the fuck alone, I need to think.’ He was angry. ‘No, what you need to do is man up and tell her. She’s your imprint for fuck’s sake. Just tell her, you guys got along before, you even liked her. How things are now is awfully painful to watch.’ It was Jacob, he had enough of Paul chickening out all the time.’ Deep down, he knew they were right. He couldn't keep avoiding it. The bond he shared with you, the imprint that connected him to your very soul, demanded honesty. He needed to come clean, no matter how difficult it might be.

As Paul's wolf form darted between the trees, he couldn't escape the memories of the times when things were different between the two of you. The laughter, the shared dreams of a new beginning under the sun – all of it played vividly in his mind. He realized he couldn't let fear and uncertainty tarnish those precious moments. Finally slowing down, Paul found himself in a familiar clearing deep within the forest. The moonlight filtered through the leaves, casting a silvery glow on the ground. He took a moment to catch his breath, feeling a mix of frustration and determination coursing through his wolf form. ‘I can't keep running away,’ he thought to himself as if trying to convince his own conscience. ‘She deserves to know the truth.’ His heart pounded in his chest, and his mind became a battleground of conflicting emotions. The rhythmic beat of his paws on the forest floor became a drumming soundtrack to the turmoil within. The decision to stop running felt like a weight on his shoulders, and he couldn't escape the haunting question: Was he ready to expose you to the supernatural world that had forever altered his existence? What if you couldn't accept the truth? What if the revelation drove a permanent wedge between you two? These questions clawed at Paul's thoughts, creating a web of anxiety that threatened to ensnare him. The realization that he couldn't predict your reaction loomed over him, casting a shadow on the determination that had brought him to this point. The cool night air carried the scent of pine and damp earth, but even the familiar scents couldn't drown out the internal debate. His wolfish instincts urged him to protect, to shield you from the complexities of his supernatural existence. The internal debate raged on: Was he being selfish by unburdening his truth upon you? Would it be kinder to spare you the knowledge and allow you to pursue the new beginning you had always dreamed of, free from the entanglements of the supernatural?

A part of him longed for the simplicity of the past, the time when you two had shared laughter and dreams without the weight of secrets. But another part feared the irreversible consequences of laying bare the reality that lurked beneath the surface of their seemingly normal lives. With a deep, primal snarl, Paul pushed forward. The decision had been made, and there was no turning back. The moonlit path stretched out before him, and as the silver-furred wolf sprinted into the night, the echoes of his internal dilemma lingered in the rustle of leaves and the distant howls of the pack, intertwining with the secrets that the forest held. 

He was going to tell you.

#paul lahote imagine #paul lahote x reader #paul lahote x y/n #twilight fic #wolve pack fic #jacob black #edward cullen #twilight #bella swan #imprint fic

[jacksoldsideblog]

Thoughts on time loops and fight club

Time loops are often used as a narrative device to push a character into having a realization about what truly matters, or have them fall in love with someone (I suppose technically a derivative of the first). Suffering be thy teacher for as long as need be. And most writers will accept and lean into the fact that endlessly repeating your days and endlessly dying is a bit horrific, would probably fuck with the psyche, probably not leave someone very healthy. But always, the character toughs it out, they make the realization, they arrange events just right, and they get on with their life supposedly objectively better.

And I think. With so much potential to break someone, what would happen if someone never left? Or, when they left the loop, it wasn't because they improved in any way, but because some aspect of their continued suffering met the arbitrary condition that was placed down upon them in the first place.

And I think about fight club. I think, what if the narrator woke up back on that plane, back on that nude beach, after pulling the trigger.

I think he'd rage. I think he'd fight Tyler right then and there, thinking it was the mistaken impulses of his brain in a fit after his self inflicted massive head trauma. Who cares that Tyler punching back feels real — that Tyler says shit that alludes to everything they went through. The narrator beats Tyler — himself — to death, probably. Or gets restrained, on the plane, and wakes up in a hospital. If he dies that first time I'd imagine it repeats a few times, and he swiftly starts thinking, instead of catharsis, maybe this is hell, and he does not realize how right he is.

Eventually he gets restrained, or can't beat himself quite as badly, Tyler stops him, I don't know — he's in the hospital, tied up, drugged. Et cetera. He thinks he finally woke up. He wonders where the bullet hole is. He sees the date and wonders how much more insane he's become. Tyler is still there. No bullet through his brains. Looking as beat the fuck up as the narrator made him. Saying, for fucks sake, realize already.

The narrator probably kills himself on purpose in that hospital.

And then he is on the plane, beach, whatever again. And Tyler looks at him, says, eternal punishment, for you or me? And laughs.

I think he'd go pretty swift into denial. Doesn't acknowledge Tyler. Knows Tyler is probably running around at night, but if he pretends, maybe he's not. Time passes. Enough time, and then it is the anniversary of him blowing his brains out, and a car hits him full throttle on the street.

He's back at the start. So is Tyler. And maybe, this takes a few times for the lesson to sink in. A few, terribly long times. Because there's a good long while between meeting Tyler and the bomb the building plans. And perhaps, Tyler starts talking to him, always unacknowledged, but less mad. Less upset with being chained in his body. Because damn if he's barely using it. Pathetic, nothing Tyler ever wanted for him, but Tyler knows he's got time now, so fine. The narrator can wait through his silly little tests. Tyler, who says he is the narrator deep down and so the narrator knows this too — Tyler says they're going to die that day that hour that minute no matter what.

And they do. He avoids cars by staying indoors, and chokes on his coffee. He sits in his room, he gets a blood clot. He lets Tyler arrange a team of space monkey doctors that he cannot think too hard about, one of them turncoats and injects air into his jugular. Another time, one stabs him. No number of guards fixes it; he gets caught in the crossfire. The one time he gets everything right, he dies in a second of increased warmth and then sheer nothingness, and wonders if it was a meteor or a nuke.

So. He can't wait it out. Tyler says, I told you so.

Tyler has been cooperative, the past few loops. Friendly. A lot like how he was when the narrator first lived at Tyler's house.

Tyler is the only other person in the loop.

So what if he's not physically real — he's the only other damn person in the loop. That makes him more real than anything else. That makes him more real than the entire repeating pointless universe.

The narrator wonders how many loops it would take for him to forget Tyler isn't real.

A smaller number, if he starts acting that way now.

He lets Tyler draw him in again. They live at Paper Street. They shoot the shit. They do stupid things, develop a fondness for graffiti, become actually good at spraypainting various presidents with their guts hanging out their asses. They go to bathhouses and have a sexual epiphany. They host fight club as an orgy. They hit so many golfballs through the windows of the factory that the owners actually bother to show up.

He goes along with Project Mayhem, aware, knowledgeable this time. They blow up the Parker Morris building and destroy the national museum. Destroy a history that is increasingly becoming nothing more than stage dressing. They bomb the credit card buildings and see that the infrastructure had back ups. Tyler says, shit. The next loop, they bomb the back ups too.

They fight, again, sometimes. It feels real. More real than when he fights other people. His body feels it all new but his mind doesn't.

Tyler kills the president. They start world war three. The narrator sleeps and dies for five cycles straight. He's on Oprah. He incorporates women into Project Mayhem and creates a nascent military state. Tyler trains his body into being able to suck its own cock. He goes entire loops without being himself, only waking up from Tyler's control because Tyler never wants to feel the murder du jour.

He loses track of time. It starts being a surprise when he dies and is back at the start. It's surprising Tyler, too. They start waking up in the psych ward, having gone to the wrong ally too soon, having burned their bridges before they had all their cards.

His brain can't handle this. It was a miracle it could handle Tyler.

He's free from history. Free from time. Free from consequences. He has chaos unimagineable locked into a tight, neat, orderly package.

He's forgetting life outside the loop. He wonders why he's even here. He dies on the streets. He freezes to death.

He kills himself in the first few minutes of 20, 30 loops in a row.

Everything is a stageplay. He feels like he's wearing squibs when he's gunned down by cops. Tyler's fists feel like the barest daydream of before. He doesn't remember before.

Tyler says, I'm not sticking around for this. And that's worse. Because then the narrator is the only one aware. He watches for signs of Tyler puppeting his body as he sleeps, vaguely remembering that being a worry sometimes. He sees nothing. Tyler is not there at the start, not there at the end.

Time blurs. The loops blur. He goes catatonic, for a while.

He's back on the beach. On the plane. Tyler is there. Tyler says, can't I be done? Isn't my purpose done? Don't you get it, I shouldn't exist. The universe can't handle it. Let me go. Please.

Tyler doesn't beg.

Please.

The time loop hasn't only worn on him.

Mayhem and freedom mean nothing. Not in a vaccuum, a scripted world he's steadily playing out all the options of. Tyler toured the world, it meant nothing.

Let me be done.

Turns out, Tyler can kill himself and it'll stick. Maybe it's because he waited long enough that the narrator doesn't remember what connects them. Maybe not. Either way, the narrator has long given up hope of that working for him.

He wakes up in the psych ward. He knows he'll be leaving soon. Back to the beach, back to the plane. He doesn't look at clocks, he doesn't let people tell him the time. He doesn't remember when. He'll be going soon. Whenever that is.

#fight club #my writing #basically a fic outline but timeloop fics get way too long 4 me to actually write this so enjoy this sort of halfwriting thing ig

[the-revisionist]

Questions for Writers

Jeez, I forgot I left this in my drafts! Thanks for the tag, @calunalilly

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

31

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

My initial reaction to this question was, why are these fucking people asking me to do more math? Then I realized it's listed in the statistics tab on my dash. Which tells me 792,881 words. That seems low to me? (My writerly self-image is a verbose motherfucker.)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Currently Last Tango in Halifax, Happy Valley, Collateral. In the past I wrote a lot of words about Xena, well, uber Xena.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Tristan Chord, the marriage plot, The Wandering Star, The Argentinian Maneuver, and The Wild Nothing.

5. Do you respond to comments?

Absolutely. If ever I miss a response, it's likely because I have my head up the ass of real life. So if you've commented and I've not responded, I apologize.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I feel like they're all angsty? But I'd have to go way back to the Xena stuff for the truly angsty shit, probably Coup de Grace or Venezia.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Maybe The Argentinian Maneuver or a good fixed star.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really. I've gotten a couple passive-aggressive comments here and there, but overall I'd say our tiny corner of fandom is filled with folks who have excellent manners and are very supportive of their writers. ;)

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

On occasion. You have to dig through a lot of adjectives and dubious metaphors, but it's there.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I guess Happy Valley/Collateral is crossover territory, no? Unfortunately it's not crazy.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of but if I find anyone who does, I will seriously go Catherine Cawood on your ass.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Yes, a series of old Uber Xena stories. Some brave soul translated them into French (!). I think there may have been one translated into Spanish as well. I have no idea if any of them are still available online.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Cowrote a mad little uber-Xena tale eons ago with my dear beloved @thelnjames. Good times!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Caroline/Gillian on LTiH, and the uber-Xena pairing of Mel/Janice.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I would like to finish Perihelion, the crazy western LTiH AU I started years ago. Might have to rewatch Deadwood for inspo.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Knowing when all the shit I threw in the kitchen sink is too much (i.e., editing).

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I get too caught up in trying to write pretty and make everything a big old fucking metaphor.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

It gives me the shits. I tend to research a lot, so I would try to find a native speaker of said language to verify that what I've written is accurate.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Xena.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

This is like asking a mother, who is your favorite child?

I'm tagging anyone who's interested in doing this!

#writing #me

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

We finally got a Thor mention and hints of Loki being homesick in episode 3. Mobius and Loki are at the 1893 Chicago World's Fair when they see the Norse exhibit that has 3 carved wooden pillars of Balder, Odin, and Thor.

Mobius: "Does it make you homesick?"

Loki: "No. It’s completely inaccurate, first of all."

Mobius: "What, you don’t think that looks like Odin?"

Loki: "It’s embarrassing. It’s a crass generalization. I mean, you can’t reduce an entire culture down to a simple diorama. Such poverty of imagination."

Mobius: "Is somebody feeling a little left out that they’re not up there?"

Loki: "No. And why’d they include Balder? No one’s even heard of him."

Mobius: "Sure they have. Balder the Brave. You know, sometimes I forget that you’re one of them. You are one of them. Blows my mind." (walks away)

Loki: (lingers behind, looking somberly at Thor's carving) "... Thor’s not that tall."

First off, "You know, sometimes I forget that you’re one of them." Uh huh. That you, Loki writers?

Secondly, "You are one of them." After Thor 1, I wonder how hearing that makes Loki feel?

Wow, there's a lot to unpack there. First off, I was curious so I googled:

Mobius is asking Loki if he feels homesick after the TVA took him from his timeline, kidnapped him and forced him away from his family, and Mobius himself told him to his face he could never go back? After Mobius admitted in S1 that Lokis are the variants the TVA kidnapped the most? He's asking him if he's homesick? Is that a joke?

Then, Balder? Seriously? What's the point of the name-drop? Unless he shows up in future eps, it makes no sense. He was never part of the Thor movies or Loki's story. If Loki had taken the opportunity to share some story related to him and Balder then cool, but if it's just a name-drop then... meh.

That line about it being a "generalization" or "reducing an entire culture"... uh, Asgard was full of statues. Loki had a statue of himself built post-TDW (okay, not this Loki so.. fair). But I don't understand Loki's line there. How is a statue 'poverty of imagination'? It's such an ignorant thing to say. It's not even funny either. So either I'm missing something... or that line is nonsensical.

Mobius reply that Loki feels "left out". Cool, make a joke about Loki's feelings of inadequacy on Asgard. Feelings that were perfectly understandable and accurate despite whatever Marvel tries to claim these days. Loki is a Prince. Same as Thor. Not the firstborn, not Asgardian, but a Prince nonetheless. We saw in Thor1 how everyone around him treated him as lesser, so to have Mobius say this to his face (this Loki is what... two years post-Thor 1? So not that long ago this guy tried to kill himself for the fact that he felt like he didn't belong) and for Loki to not get mad at it? Again, makes no sense. And it's such a bad line for his series. He doesn't even get the narrative on his side on his damn series.

"You are one of them". Was. Well, he never was. But still. He used to be one of them and he would have had a life with them if the TVA hadn't intervened. If Mobius was truly trying to be sympathetic how come he doesn't show any remorse? Any guilt? Does he at any point even think "damn, this is his family and he won't ever see them again because we kidnapped him from his timeline". Of course he doesn't.

I hate this season and I'm not even watching it.

#loki negativity

[youvegotmetoblame]

i keep coming back to episode 4 whenever i see discussions about Ed’s mental state. because the subversion of everything izzy tells us about Ed, while not groundbreaking, is so beautifully executed over the course of the episode

when we truly meet Ed, we’re supposed to be intimidated by him. we’ve only seen him in glimpses, either in the shadows or striding out of the smoke on the Spanish ship. and while he watches stede sleep, he’s quiet and contemplative. only breaking his vigil to tell Lucius to count backwards. which honestly came off as a threatening power move of sorts. like, do as i say and get out of here or else. no real rhyme or reason, just trying to scare him, right?

but when he meets the crew, when he finally talks to stede, he comes off as a little silly. kind. fun. compassionate. he’s ecstatic over the fact Buttons is a bird guy. fascinated by stede’s eccentricity and the auxiliary wardrobe. casual and cool and excitable about stuff like model ships. watching the clouds and finding funny shapes in them. and then of course he asks stede if he wants to do something weird

the bit with the wardrobe change really drives home what izzy is saying at first. oh, he’s distracted. oh, he’s just messing around. he never takes it seriously. he’s flighty. unmanageable and hard to work for. this little role play seems totally out of left field and like they’re just wasting time when their lives are in danger. the Spanish are coming! so of course izzy is mad!!

but then izzy’s argument unravels so beautifully in one scene. Ed asks Stede “what is Blackbeard going to do?” because that’s who stede is playing at right? Lucius strides back into frame and suddenly his counting down comes into sharp, terrifying focus. they’re out of time. stede doesn’t have a plan. he holds everyone’s life in his hands and THAT is what Ed is dealing with on an every day basis, not izzy. the crew is looking to blackbeard, now stede, and he’s failed them by not taking it seriously

but Ed has. the entire time. he used Lucius as a timer. the clouds to tell the weather. he was well aware of what would happen with the fog based on the date and the sky alone and knew how to save them before anyone even brought the threat to his attention. all of these little idiosyncrasies and quirks purposefully and masterfully sprinkled throughout the episode, leading to this moment where we realize the brilliance he was capable of the whole time. he makes one mistake with the leap year. but then in a scene that’s a testimony to where their relationship will go, he works with stede in a way he never could with izzy to hatch a backup plan. leads stede and the rest of the crew through it and even gives them positive feedback to boot

and then, of course, the final scene with izzy. i’ve seen a lot of talk about how Ed never had a plan to kill stede, he comes up with it to placate izzy. but i don’t think that’s true. he asks stede to swap clothes right after stede introduces the idea of retirement. we’ve just learned how fast Ed’s brain works. he says to izzy what if they found a body about the same size as mine, but unrecognizable? burned and mangled? what better way to find a match than trying on their clothes? do i think he was ever going to follow through, especially with his murder related trauma? no. you could already see the regret in his eyes. but i think he thought he could convince himself. oh the fire or someone or something else will get him, not me directly. and then, of course, a fateful boat party, a scrap of silk, and a spark of hope tucked gently into his chest. he was history

all of this to say: the writers took an entire episode to prove how wrong izzy was. to show how capable, competent, and confident Ed is at his job. they introduce us to a scary storybook blackbeard to turn that narrative on its head multiple times and give us a picture of the full, complex man. is he bored? sure. doesn’t care what happens to him? absolutely (don’t even get me started on the guess i could try dying of it all. honey, that’s suicidal ideation). it’s too easy and he needs excitement. but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t take it seriously. so WHY do white fans keep insisting that we should feel sorry for izzy and that he’s just doing his job and taking care of Ed? 

izzy being surprised by Ed’s capability lets us know he’s unreliable. acting like he does all the work (even though he failed at his job 2 episodes in a row) and needs to keep an eye on Ed who is perfectly capable of taking care of himself. the writers use this episode to show us this is BULLSHIT. so even when Ed becomes the Kraken, we know from all of this previous context they’ve given us that he’s perfectly in control. he’s wrong and he’s heartbroken and he’s hurting. but he knows what he’s doing and it sure isn’t izzy who’s going to knock any sense into him

izzy wants power. he wants Ed to show a semblance of instability so he can jump in as a toxic white savior and take the credit for the legend of blackbeard he’s played very little part in. start questioning why people chose to take the white man’s narrative at face value when he’s proven wrong time and time again. and next time you see someone going on about how izzy is so right about Ed needing him as a voice of reason, go back to the text and see what the writers intended that voice to say

#edward teach #blackbeard #izzy hands #our flag means death #if you're doing an actual analysis of the text then actually look at the text! #and authorial intent! #i love izzy as a rat bastard he's a great character #but the extent to which i see people sympathize with him and villianize ed is frankly racist #just start unlearning which narrative you naturally trust!!!

[timingmatters]

As the new nightwing comics seem to lead towards Barbara and Dick becoming “endgame” i am once again begging DC writers to free Kori from all this???? Since Nightwing went back to the batman domain back in like the 80s (??) and he cheated on her for no reason other than drama with Barbara, Star has constantly been hung up on him. It feels so…. Badly written. To have Nightwing constantly have all these relationships and choose Barbara but never allowing Star to actually choose someone else in her heart because they keep her as a back up for him for the sake of drama. Starfire is her own character outside that romantic relationship. She deserves better writing.

I’ve always been a huge dickkori fan, but it is also the worst thing that could have ever happened to her character. In mainstream dc media her character is often reduced to that relationship and she isn’t allowed to move on even though he cheated on her and has long since moved on. And in the only universe where they made it as a couple and had a child, they fucking killed her off.

Like can i make a petition of this shit??? Is time to give Kori a new iconic couple that becomes her endgame. Someone that appreciates her. Star can so easily be one of the best characters in DC because her story and person have so much to be explore yet, but because she isn’t in the flash, superman, wonder-woman, or batman domain she gets payed dust. I almost wish she could magically transfer to marvel. I mean she was a slave!!!!!!!! That alone is a whole series of origins they can expand on. They have written it but never expanded on it as they do other characters. She is magic and kind and full of love. Naive yet strong and brave. She is genuinely such a good fucking character and it makes me so mad how all these years they have developed nightwing and have left star collecting dust. Even when she had a poly relationship the reason why she couldn’t go beyond in commitment was because she still had dick in her heart. If they are committing to making barbara and dick truly the endgame after all this time, the least Kori deserves is to be allowed to have her own new endgame and someone who loves her back in the way she deserves. And to have more adventures of her own explored.

I feel like even Barbara fans have to admit outside of the love triangle the way Star has been written these past years has lacked so much. Ik DC SUCKS at handling women but my GOD if harley could get out of her sunken place after so long so can kori

Edit: given some comments i wanna make it one thing clear: i do prefer the dickkori dynamic and the whole cheating thing was a plot device to get him back into the batman domain and start cutting ties with teen titans. That’s an already proven fact. What i meant with him choosing barbara is not that I’m disregarding the truth behind what dickkori was, but rather that its been several years since DC has nightwing focusing on the batman domain and the characters there, and most of his storylines with them. Thus usually approaching barbara or other batman characters. Star, as a character outside of that, hasn’t really interacted with him in years, yet remains emotionally connected to him. Which i think is unfair. Is not that star’s only plot revolves around him, but rather that emotionally they haven’t been fair to her in terms of writing. Dickkori from the original teen titans run will always remain superior (and those alternate universes when they made it through even when one of them died).

#koriand'r #starfire #robstar #dickkori #dickkory #dc comcis #dick grayson #also who do i speak to so that kori can be queer in the main continuity #bc like both in universe and the public constantly over sexualize her characted #and like no man deserves her ever #i dont want literally any guy to even look her way #she needs to find a girlfriend asap #cant look me in the eye and say that the way she is written isnt perfect for it #like her ass wouldn’t care for gender when it comes to love #GIVE HER A GF #SO SHE CAN CLING TO SOMEONE ELSE RATHER THAT DICK HE IS BORING #dickbabs

[crestfallercanyon]

🏜️ 🥤🍓 :)

Thank you so much for the ask @mmmichyyy !! I'm excited to answer.

First off, the (I actually don't know what this is lol) 🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Um, I just appreciate people enjoying my work, honestly. Always makes my day. I do enjoy when people point out lines that they liked, and especially if they think it really sounds like the character I'm writing for (when it comes to fanfiction). It just makes me feel good. But honestly, just hearing someone enjoyed what I wrote truly is super thrilling and I love hearing from people reading, so really anything.

and then the 🍓, how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

So I started writing original fiction a LONG time ago, like when I was a young tween. I got into fanfiction due to the pandemic. I just wanted to write something indulgent for me, and had never heard of ao3 and had never had a tumblr either. My first fandom I wrote for (knowing it was fanfiction, I technically wrote Doc Holliday/Katie Elder fanfiction way back when, if it can even be called that),but my first fandom was Fire Emblem: Three Houses. Then it was a teeny tiny video game fandom that I won't even say that's how small it is. Then coldflash, then my friend got me back into TMR and I haven't left TMR since, but have picked up others like Inception and Shameless.

It initially started as a practice to try to help me get my pacing to be better (because I tend to write too long). And now I still think my scenes are probably a little too long lol, but I have become a better writer over the years. So yeah, that's how I got into it!

🥤 recommend a fic or an author I love

Oh, do we have all day? I'm going to take up all day. I realize it says "an" as in probably only one, but I went way overboard. like embarrassingly so. I have so many recs. This got out of hand and I wasn't even done but it's time for me to go to BED so I have to STOP. Anyway, here is my list of recs. I moved this question last that's how long this is lol. Hope you find something you love from here!

@subjecta5newtella , (unbelieve on ao3) they don't miss. I've read several different fandoms of what they've written and they're all great. They also write killer second person fics which is just like, it takes a damn good writer to do that. Also I just learned they've also written for Avatar and Merlin and now I will be reading more of their fics. (also fuck me I have not commented on so many of these I'm such a bastard, I need to comment). Anyway, Some fic recs from them of what I have read that's been great

A Hundred Thousand Loves (for just this one), Maze Runner, Minewt, T+

And if This is What it Takes, Stand By Me, Chris Chambers/Gordie, M

holding all i used to be sorry about, The Flash, Hartmon, T+

They also do great Star Trek: TNG and just Star Trek in general fics

@blue-summers, bluesummersmoon on ao3-- I love all of their thomally. They have written for thomallyweek a few times now and I just -- there is something so lyrical about how they write, and whether their melody is a tragedy or a lullaby, it just always sings. They also have a greece au that's fantastic for tmr. They've also written for other amazing fandoms (I believe I have read their Merlin fic now that I am looking at the title) and I just. I recommend. (they've also done LotR which I'm so mad impressed by and they've done Merlin too!)

Oh when you love it, TMR, Thomally, T+

Meltwater, TMR, Thomally, G

The Greece AU

fissures, TMR, Minewt, T+

@qlala, qlala on ao3 as well, they don't miss. Their fics always are so good. I particularly love their modern aus, I don't usually love aus with coldflash but I love all of qlalas, I also don't usually read kid fics, but you guessed it, qlalas are fantastic. They are such a good writer, and their coldflash just has me chomping at the bit. I often drift on the sides of coldflash these days, but whenever I see they've posted I am brought back into the swirl of them and I am ever so happy to be back because that's how good qlala is.

and because I'm a sucker for soft possessive coldflash, here's one of my absolute favorites: and in your heart I feel how cold it can get; which by the way I just realized how tragic that title is and I am in awe again. So good.

Also this au where Barry is a hired escort and Len is a politician hiring him to raise his ratings with the polls (there's a part two as well/not really technically tied to this story but same universe) that's gold: talking with your fast hands, saving all your slow dances -- very good (also that song the title is from is also a banger, winnetka bowling league my beloved).

@sam-loves-seb, sam_writes_fics on ao3, I am pretty sure they are my most bookmarked gallavich writer, I love the way they write gallavich, also their fucking power to be able to stick to like themed MONTHS and churn out GOOD FICS so FAST? because of time and because their stuff is all that good, I am genuinely just going to link their whole profile and tell you that if you like gallavich you won't be disappointed, they're amazing.

I don't know their tumblr, but pink_ink is another fantastic gallavich writer. They mostly write explicit stuff, and it's all great. They have a (few) multiple chap fics that absolutely stole my heart. My favorite one of theirs? It is absolutely so poetic and sexy and tragic, and Mickey's voice is on fucking point.

Regular What, Shameless (US), Gallavich, E

Paragraphs is also really good. A Shameless multichap ,Gallavich, E

Another tumblr that if they have one I don't know, but I also love spqr's works. It's funny because I've actually just naturally ran into them like several times while delving into fandoms, I never looked at their dashboard until I hit them I think three separate times because I was like "wait, I recognize this author, did I read something else of theirs?" and it was straight up in an entirely different fandom. The fics I did that on are as follows:

madwoman, The Queen's Gambit (TV), Beth/Benny, M

Whensoever, The Sandman (TV), Dreamling, E

the dry sand of daylight, Inception (2010), Arthur/Eames, E

Um, I could do this for hours just going through my bookmarks, but I genuinely am getting tired so I don't want to do that. One day maybe. But, some fics that I would absolutely be a complete dunce if I did not mention because I reread them SO OFTEN. So here we go:

Ready by comebacknow, The Maze Runner, Minally, M

all i want of the world, coming down, Inception (2010), Arthur/Eames, T+

burnout by Tattered_Dreams, The Maze Runner, Brenda/Gally, T+

makes a cathedral, him pressing against me by misandrywitch, Shameless (US), Gallavich, No Rating (and its companion! and we will be like sailors, swimming in the sound of it by intimatelyrearranged)

Cold Storage by @sproutwings (sandrine shaw on ao3 -- also filled with great fics), the Flash TV, Iris West & Leonard Snart, T+

and for a woman wert thou first created by @hamartian-cathexis, The Maze Runner, Minewt, T+

this is what makes us girls by @its-tea-time-darling, TMR, Rachel/Sonya, E

Pinesong by aperplexingpuzzle, Legend of Zelda BOTW, Link/Revali, T+ (this ship came as such a surprise to me, but it's so good)

Stag and Wolf, Wyvern and Rabbit by deadlifts, Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Claude/Felix, M

Adagio by towine, Fire Emblem: Awakening, Owaine/Inigo, M

and I'm currently (while behind) REALLY enjoying two incomplete fics

ad nauseum by Order_Of_The_Forks, Dimension 20: Fantasy High, Riz Gukgak/Fabian Seacaster, T+

Stitches by nightmarechild, Fire Emblem: Path of Radiance/Radiant Dawn, Rhys/Shinon, T+

These are all courtesy of the writers truth or dare! I love answering questions so thank you SO SO much for asking! if you want to ask more, just send me a message, I'm not shy <3

#ask box games #ask games #writers truth or dare #the maze runner #sandman #inception (2010) #the flash cw #dimension 20: fantasy high #stand by me #shameless (us) #SO MANY FIC RECS HERE YOU GO #fire emblem: three houses #fire emblem: awakening #fire emblem: path of radiance #and probably more

[rosie-b]

find the words game

I've been tagged in a new writers' game!! For this one, we're given specific words to find in our wips/fics, share the section they appear in, and pass it on!

from @mostmagical we have:

brush (from an upcoming section of my BB fic, Centuries Overdue)

Alix wandered over to the kitchen, brushing past Alya and Marinette without a word. Oh, shit, was she mad at them? Was she going to use her magic to go back and record Marinette’s misbegotten mocha order and stream it to all of Paris, solidifying her shame forever??

Marinette wished she’d kept her glance through the deceptive café windows much shorter and left before the scary bunny had had the chance to jumpscare her.

crumble (from the same wip)

I have told myself that I ought to be relieved, as the other Mages are, that at last the Darkness is vanquished. For a time, I fooled myself into thinking that I was!

But as all lies ever must do, this one I told Myself crumbled, leaving more Pain in its wake than it had initially hidden.

light (also from Centuries Overdue! you guys are getting so many sneak peeks lol)

There is something wild growing in the Darkness; when I close my Eyes I can feel it growing. It is a most disturbing Feeling, and one I am not alone in noticing. The Mages of Tikki and Plagg have felt it also, and have noted its Growth. It cares not for the Moon, nor the Stars, nor the Sun, but its Presence continues to spread unchecked at all times. 

I fear if we do not find its cause ere the spring festivals’ start, it will prove too powerful to be Destroyed, and so I have made it my business to uncover its Secrets. This Darkening is surely a sign of a stronger, more sinister Magic, and I fear that there are things darker and still more guileful to come of it. I must make all Haste to prevent its growth, which is why I must journey to the edges of Light, to the place where my parents died…

and from @monpetitchattriste:

love (back to Centuries Overdue for this one)

There is talk of a Darkness in Venice. And again, a Darkness in the Dolomites, and in Scotland at the Loch Ness, and still more Talk about nearly every place I have visited in my years as a Mage and as a boy with my parents. Still no reported Darkness in the Harz, and none in Paris yet, and still it is clear that the Danger is not shrinking but burgeoning.

Time, like a Candle too well loved, is growing shorter, and soon it will run out entirely. I must make my Attack before it is too late.

years (also from Centuries Overdue :D)

There were perhaps twenty to thirty books on the shelf, with two-thirds of them being written by Adrien’s parents and the last third being written by Adrien himself. The time during which the journals were written spanned from the years just before the French Revolution to 1810, just before the end of the Napoleonic Wars. They all seemed to be travelogues detailing the Agrestes’ long journeys to various historical and legendary locations in Europe as they evaded the worst of the fighting, met different groups of people, and moved on to new adventures.

It all seemed normal enough until Marinette noticed a passage describing a magic ritual done under the full moon in striking detail. Even then, she assumed it was just some forgotten tradition, not an example of true belief in magic. But as she skimmed through the rest of Emilie and Gabriel’s journals, she realized that each of them truly believed in magic, and so did the people they met. Even the places the Agrestes journeyed to were all associated with magic through legend or myth.

And last but not least, never (had to use one replacement word, it’s from my ATLA wip)

“It’s Sokka!” His soulmate scowled at him, and Zuko knew that if his hands weren’t currently chained to the wall, he’d be crossing them like a petulant child.

Zuko scowled back. “It doesn’t matter. Once I get back home, I’m handing you over to my father, and he will be in charge of dealing with you. After three years, I will finally be free of your shadow. I’ll never have to know your Southern peasant name, because I’ll never see you again.”

Thanks so much for tagging me, guys!!

I will tag (though I might be retagging idk I hope not) @aidanchaser, @miabrown007, @fragileizywriting, @lady-de-mon-coeur, and anyone who sees this and wants to join in <3

Your words are: dream, fold, heart

Reserve words: sigh, cold, eyes

#tag game #centuries overdue #ml fanfic #rosie-b writing

[gretavangroupie]

Muse (Part 6)

Word count: 13.2k+

Pairing: Danny x Female Reader

Summary: After a blow out at the bar one night, Danny is left questioning the nature of his relationship with his enemy the bartender.

Warnings: 18+ as always, language, drinking, sexual situations, smut, fluff.

Part Five

Muse Playlist

A/N: Special shoutout to my beta, my co-writer, and my dear friend @gvfjess . Every wonderful, amazing, sexy part of this story came from her big beautiful brain. Muse would absolutely not be what it is without her and I cannot thank her enough for her love and support through this process. We have loved writing this together and hope you love it too.

We cannot thank you enough for all the love and support you have shown us through this process. We have become so attached to these characters and we hope you love this final chapter as much as we do.

Without Further Ado...

HER POV

Running to the door your shaking fingers twist the lock, a sob crying out of your chest. The tears that have been collecting at your lashes free falling from your eyes. 

How did this happen? Why?

You drag yourself over to the bar to finish closing. You don’t even care that you’re closing early. 

The look on Josh’s face killed you, hurt and confused…he didn’t deserve this.

Why didn’t you tell him?

And Danny? How could you he say that to you? After everything? He broke your heart. He told you it would never be more. That he would never want you….But how could you do this to him? Every harsh word you’ve ever said to him could never be as cruel as what you’ve just done. His best friend? How could you think you ever truly cared about him and then do something like this. His words sliced through you, the pain and embarrassment almost forced your tears right then. You knew this would happen. But never this way. Now you’ve lost both of them.

Your lips trembled and your eyes burned trying to push the tears away. The lump in your throat on fire as your brain tried to fight off the memories of their faces, burned into it.

You count the money in the register through blurry, tear filled eyes, taking out the cash for the nightly deposit. The tears still rushing down your cheeks as you look up and see the broken shot glass still laying on the floor of their favorite spot, now empty. You wonder if they will ever sit there together again. Not only have you ruined things with Danny and Josh, you have also caused a rift within the band, within their friendship.

You’ve never seen Josh mad like that before, least of all with Danny.

“They are my brothers. You need to fix this…”

Jake’s words playing through your head, over and over just making the ache in your chest unbearable. 

You walk over to the broken glass with a dustpan and hand broom, squatting down to sweep the tiny pieces into the pan. 

As the shards roll across the floor into the pan, you cant help but compare them to how you feel. 

Broken and shattered into sharp pieces all over the floor, stepped on and mangled into the bottom of a shoe. Even when the pieces are collected and put back together it will never be completely whole again. You don’t know how things would ever, or could ever go back to being normal. It would never be what it was, again. 

You made that decision when you decided to sleep with Josh. 

As much as you wish you could take it back, you are glad you did it. Josh is amazing and wonderful and everything you already knew he was. His thoughtful and caring soul, too pure to ever be caught up in this mess.

He didn’t deserve this…To be used as a patch for the hole in your chest. He would never do something like this.

You drop the dust pan down to the trash can and watch as the glass slides into the black abyss of the bag, never to be seen again. You feel like you’re already there, free falling into the darkness, unsure of where you will land. 

You walk back to the bar, wiping down the countertop and quickly restocking the coolers. 

I just need to get out of here. I just need to go home and be alone. 

Your chest is sore from heaving in and out by the time you are finally turning off the lights to leave. The tears had finally stopped, and now you’re only left with puffy eyes, red and tender from rubbing them, a runny nose, and a broken heart. 

You step outside, the cold air abrasive against the tender skin. You turn your back to the wind and lock the door to the bar. The bar you wished you never had to step foot in again. Maybe you wouldn’t. 

You pull your coat hood up to shield your face as you step into the gravel parking lot. You see your car, and notice a familiar car parked next to it. 

Josh?

Embarrassed by your red eyes and disheveled appearance, you sniffle and try to wipe your face again as you see him step out of his car. He steps out and leans against the front, hands in his coat pockets. 

“You think we can talk?” He asks, his voice is barely above a whisper. His eyes are bloodshot and red, you can tell that he has been crying.

He’s speaking to you?

“I don’t think I am good company right now.” You reply. 

“Please. We really need to talk. Tonight.” he looks at you pleadingly and you feel the ache in your chest grow deeper than you imagined was possible.

You think for a minute at the possible repercussions of this choice and you decide that you have nothing left to lose at this point. 

“Okay, you can come over to my place…God Josh, I am the one who should be begging for you to talk to me. Not the other way around.” You whine.

“Let’s just talk when we get there.” He says getting into his car. 

The entire way home you replay the night in your head, 2, 3, 4 times. 

How did you not see this coming? Why are you so heartbroken over Danny? The horrible things he said tonight should have sworn you off of him for good. Why do you feel the opposite? He has thrown you every single red flag he has, and you still want him. Yet he isn’t the one here for you, Josh is. 

You pull into your parking space and make your way up to the door, Josh at your side. 

You walk inside and lay your coat on the entry table, before depositing yourself on your couch, cradling your head in your hands.

“Josh, I…” you start, stopping yourself and trying to find the words.

You feel him sit down next to you, his hand laying slowly on your back to offer a comforting touch. The stress melts away from your body.

“I need you to tell me everything. I don’t care about what happened, but I need to hear it from you. Please.” his caramel hued eyes ladened with tears are searching yours for the answers. You can tell from the sincerity in his voice that he is just looking for the truth, already forgiving you for the actions that led you both to where you are now.

“It was never supposed to be like this Josh. It just… happened and now…” You say as the tears begin making their way back to your eyes. 

“I know…” he says with a defeated sigh, his gaze shifting towards his feet. “I really wish you would have said something to me last night. I never would have said the things that I said if I had known. It didn’t have to be this way.” his words hang like a storm cloud over the two of you. You know you have to tell him everything. It’s the only way he will understand.

“I thought it was just going to be the one time, and I thought he did too. But every time we would see each other…. I think we both knew that it was never just the one time.…I guess it really all started at the bar.” You say, reliving each moment in your head. 

“At first everything was so normal. You all would come in every night, you’d order your drinks, we would small talk and that was it. Somewhere down the road you started to become my friends. Each of you in your own ways. Sammy, the dramatic jokester always down for a good time and a song, Jake the very serious problem solver, the voice of reason within your group, and someone I could count on to keep things in check when it began to get too rowdy. And you, my shoulder to lean on and a friend I could always talk to about anything, you were a constant each night. I would look forward to your turns to get drinks knowing I would always feel warm after our conversations, whether they be 5 minutes or 25. 

Then there was Danny. I wouldn’t say we ever became friends, we were hardly acquaintances.… In the beginning he wasn’t mean, he was just, quiet, almost shy.  Somewhere along the way something happened…. Feelings began to form right under our noses. Every night, stealing glances at each other. His eyes lingering on mine for just a little too long. We both felt it. We were like magnets to each other. I think we both denied feeling it for so long that it got lost.

He had a girlfriend and I was still relatively new in town, I was trying to settle in… One night it changed. You remember… he got so drunk, he was trying to fight people, calling me names… I know now, he was just hurt, looking for someone to blame. 

After kicking him out that night our dynamic changed. He was no longer watching me from across the room, instead he was glaring, and I would return it. It became an obsessive need to match his energy. His words cutting me, so I would cut him right back. We both craved it. I could just tell. I started to see a fire in his eyes each night he would walk into the bar, he craved the toxicity of whatever it was we were dancing around. So we continued, every night being as hateful as we could to each other.” You say, trying to tell him only the parts he needed to hear, not wanting to cause him more pain.

“A few weeks ago, a guy came into the bar and I was talking to him. Things were going good… I thought he might have liked me. But then something I have never seen in Danny made its appearance. He was…jealous. He lied to the guy and made him believe something that was the farthest from the truth. Was awful about it too. He just couldn’t stand the thought of someone else having me. He wouldn’t admit it at the time, but I see it so clearly now.” You recount, rubbing your hands on your legs. 

“I was so furious at him that night. I knew I was going to go straight to his house and smack him right across the face. But when I got there, with all my courage gathered up, I froze. I could hardly even remember what I was doing there. I remembered I had his house key from when I house sat, so I told him thats why I was there. He had just showered and he was only in a towel. It was the first time I really ever looked at him like that, you know? The first time I ever really saw him.  His hardened, mean facade turned playful and alluring, just for a split second, and I liked it. I was attracted to it.

My head was spinning. I rushed straight home, the whole way convincing myself that was I was feeling wasn’t what I thought. Replaying every hurtful thing he ever said in an effort to stifle back that feeling. That was the night I knew that things had really changed between us. It was shifting, to something else. Something more. 

I can keep going but I don’t want to say too much, I don’t want you to be upset. I know this is a lot….” You say.

“No, keep going. I need to know.” He says intently, so you continue.

“You texted me the next day, and invited me to come to your party at your house. I didn’t think I was going to go, but something convinced me I should. I wanted to go, simply because you had asked me. I was happy to hear from you outside of the bar. I knew he would be there, I was nervous, but knew I had this underlying craving to see him. So I decided that if I was going to go, I was going to make it interesting.” You say intently.

Josh is just sitting, listening, hanging on every word you’re saying. You watch his face to gauge his reactions, the pain of his sad face tearing you apart.

“After what had happened the night before, I knew that things between us were going to heat up. The build up was finally reaching the apex. The entire night our eyes never broke from each others. Silently calling for one another. Each of us with different people, just wishing it was the other. We could both feel the electricity in the air between us. I decided that I was going to really push his buttons. 

I acted on the feelings that I was feeling, knowing he would cave. I knew I had him, I could make him do anything I wanted. Finally, he snapped. He drug me out of the party and took me back to his house.”

Josh winces in pain, hearing it from you was probably more painful then it would have been if Danny had been the one to tell him. You reach your hand out to his, holding it between both of your hands to comfort him. You know you have to finish telling him, he has to know.

“We both knew we shouldn’t be doing it, but we just couldn’t stop. How could two people who have been so awful to each other end up in this situation? All night we fed off of each other, using each other like a drug. We were addicted. It was harsh and vile and wonderful. We both knew things wouldn’t go back to how they had been. We snuck around for weeks, lying straight to all of your faces. Slowly the hatefulness started to wear away, the hate fucking became regular fucking, maybe even something more. His feelings were shifting, and he was still pushing them back….” You continue. 

A harsh sigh releases from his chest.

“Right before you all left for the UK we had a big blowout fight, and he told me that we would never be anything more than what we were in that moment. That he would never be with a girl like me. It killed me, I thought we had gotten past it. Because I mean, wasn’t he with me? We were fucking? Anyways, the only thing I could do was to fight him back. I said something I didn’t mean and we didn’t speak after that. Not the entire time you were gone.”  

Your breath becomes shaky and you can tell his does too. 

“The night you guys came in after you got back was the first time we had spoken or seen each other in weeks, but the spark was still there. I could see it in his eyes no matter how much he tried to pretend it was gone. I overheard you all talking about him getting with a groupie and the way he looked at me when he knew I heard… I thought I had been shot. I couldn’t even comprehend why I was so hurt. I was sad but couldn’t let him see that. As far as I knew he had moved on from whatever we were doing. 

But you were there to pick me up, to make it go away. I will never be able to tell you how much that meant to me. It was the most beautiful night I’ve probably ever had, even with all the alcohol. You were perfect and gentle and tender. Everything I ever wanted for myself Josh, really. 

But something wasn’t right. Somewhere in the very back of my mind, I was still wanting him. Wishing for him to come around. Hoping he would realize that maybe the feelings he was stifling back were something more. 

I think a part of me has always known that we would end up together, but ignored it, and hoped it would die down. But it didn’t. In fact that part got bigger, more needy. Desperate for him. Constantly longing to be near him. I wish more than anything that I didn’t feel this way about him. I know it’s wrong, every part of me knows I shouldn’t feel this way. But I do and I cant push it back anymore. I haven’t ever felt like this about anyone. I just wish it could have been different. I wish it could have been you Josh, I really do. But it’s him, it’s always been him.”

He shakes his head. He knows. He understands.

“Every night we come to the same bar. Do you know why?” He asks.

“No.” You reply quietly.

“In the beginning, it was because of convenience, a quiet place to go with good drinks… Towards the middle it became comfortable, a familiar face to always greet us and a place to relax, and somewhere around the end it became my escape. Where I could walk in and forget my outside life, knowing I would see you there.

Every night when we would walk in and I would see you, every minuscule inconvenience of my day would be gone. You were just so beautiful and refreshing. So easy to talk to and connect with. I pined for you from across the bar for as long as I can remember. Everyone knew it. Sam, Jake. Everyone except you and him. But I couldn’t bring myself to make a move, couldn’t risk losing it. My safe place. 

The day I invited you to that party, I thought maybe I would be able to tell you…I saw you and him inside. The way you were looking at each other. I think I knew then too. He came to me outside, he was worked up, anxious… a mess. I knew then he felt the same way about you that I did, so I did what any good friend would do. I put my feelings aside, I told him to go get you. He didn’t understand how I knew, but I did, because I saw you the same way he did. The way he looked at you… it was the same way I did. But you didn’t see me, you were too busy looking at him. I didn’t know you went home with him that night. I don’t know how I didn’t see it coming. I basically forced it to happen. ” He says, his eyes lining with tears. Your heart breaks. 

You replay seeing him at the party in your head, and the night you spent with Danny. He was looking at you. 

“Josh, I…I’m so sorry…” you say shaking your head grabbing his hand. His thumbs rub over the top of your knuckles.

You know where this story is going to end and you feel sick letting him continue. He has liked you for a lot longer than you thought. His sweet words plunging the knife further into your heart. As much as you care for him, he will never be him. Daniel owns your mind, body, and soul.

“For weeks I tried to work up the courage to tell you at the bar, but I never could, especially knowing how Danny felt that night. You two were always arguing and you would always seem upset and I just wanted to comfort you. I knew the timing wasn't right. 

We left for the UK and I thought about you every single night. I would lie awake in my bunk imagining your smile waiting for me at the bar when I got home. I almost texted you a few drunken nights, always reigning myself back in. I was afraid you wouldn’t feel the same. 

The day we got back I couldn’t wait to get to the bar. To see you. To be close to you. 

You know what happened next. While I know now that it shouldn’t have happened, I am glad it did. If it was my only chance to have you I will never regret taking that chance. I only wish you would have told me beforehand. It seems we are in a mess now and I’m not sure how we fix it. ” He finishes.

“Josh, I care about you so much and I wish things could have happened differently. I’ll never be able to tell you how badly I wanted it to be us. I’ll never be able to tell you how sorry I am that it  isn’t us. You’re kind, thoughtful, intentional. You are everything I should want and need in a partner. I would be so lucky to ever have you, in any lifetime, but I think in this one I end up with someone else. This story doesn’t have a happy ending for us.”

His hand reaches up and his thumb runs across your cheek collecting the fallen tear. 

“I know. I knew as soon as I saw your face tonight, he may as well pulled your heart out right there. I knew you loved him.” He says gently.

“Josh I don’t love him?” You say.

“But thats the thing. You do. You always have, you just haven’t realized it fully yourself yet. When he enters the room, your cheeks flush. When he talks to you your breath catches in your throat. You bite your lips and lean closer to him, and him to you. When he tells a story, you are captivated, hanging on his every word, even from across the room. Shit, you just talked about him for twenty minutes straight… I know what it feels like to be in love, but now I can say I have seen it too. You just spent so much of your time and energy fighting with each other that you never stopped to ask yourselves what was fueling the hate, what kind of tension it was. All along it was what would eventually turn into this. If you feel like even a tiny bit of that is true, you’ll go to him. He loves you too, I know he does.” He says.

As if the world began to spin in slow motion, your vision narrows and your heart begins to race. You see every scene play out with him, every tell tale sign that Josh just mentioned staring you in the face, clear as day. 

You love him. 

How could Josh be right? 

“Oh god. Everything is such a mess…everything is ruined.” You reply, a tear slipping out of your wet lashes.

“It’s not, it’s only really just begun.” He says. “You are an amazing woman, any man on Earth would be lucky to have you, even for five minutes. But like you said, your story doesn’t end with us, it ends with him. I will never understand, but I know somehow that this is the right thing.” He says.

Sitting back into the couch, you run your sleeves over your eyes, collecting your tears and your thoughts. 

“I think I do love him. I don’t know when it happened, but it did. Neither of us wanted this. This wasn’t part of the plan. I don’t even know how to fix it.” You say.  “Oh god, and Jake, and Sammy…they hate me too. I could see it on their faces…”

He places his hand on your shoulder, gripping slightly. 

“I will smooth things over with them, leave that part to me. Jake was just feeling what I felt. It's literally in his DNA. Sam is Daniel’s best friend, he will be on his side first and foremost. But you know he can’t stay mad about anything. I will talk to them both. Things will be okay. You just need to fix it with Daniel.” 

“But won’t seeing me with him… I don’t want to hurt you Josh.” You say.

“Seeing you happy is what matters the most to me. Do I wish it was me? Of course. But just know, I will be watching and at the first sign of him not treating you right, I will be there to put him in his place and take you for my own.” He says, with a soft smile. “So go. You need to tell him everything you just told me. All of it. Bring the fire with you. Hold his ass accountable, never let him talk to you like that again. About pissed me right off. Be mad at him, yell at him, but mostly, tell him you love him. It’s time.” He says urgently. 

“You heard him tonight…. He doesn’t want to see me. He wants nothing to do with me.” You say nervously.

Josh smirks, “Is that why your phone has buzzed two times since I have been here?” 

You look at him shocked, you didn’t even hear it. You jump up and grab it off of the counter. 

1:57a.m. Missed Call: D 

2:36a.m. Missed Call: D

“He may not be blood, but he is still my brother. I know him like I know myself. This is why we had to do this, tonight. We needed to do this, so you could go to him without the burden of this.” He says gesturing between the two of you, standing up, grabbing his coat and sliding it over his arms. “I forgive you, and I’ll always be here for you. But please, go to him and fight for this. One day I will have my great love story, but this one is yours.” He finishes. 

He grabs his keys off the table, gives you a kiss on the cheek and the door shuts behind him.

He’s right. You have to go.

You glance at the clock on the wall, 2:47am. It’s too late, you’re sure he is probably already asleep. He drank so much tonight. You think about the pain in his eyes when he was airing out your business to everyone. He was hurt. He had every right to be. You slept with Josh. You deserved for him to be mad. 

You feel the hole in your chest aching and decide that it’s now or never. You run to the bathroom and try to freshen up in the mirror but it’s no use. Your face is red and splotchy, your eyes swollen and raw from crying. Your lips puffy and full. You quickly tie your hair into a messy bun and you head out to the living room, grabbing your coat, your keys and your purse. You walk out the door not knowing if you’ll be the same person when you return through it. 

Its 3:12am and you are pulling into his parking lot. Your heart is pounding in your chest. 

Why are you doing this to yourself? 

Because Josh told you to. He wouldn’t steer you wrong would he?

You get out of your car, your breath trembling with nerves. You can’t help but struggle with what to say when you see him. You are still angry, but you need him to know how you feel underneath all of the anger and pain. The entire walk to his door you are trying to piece together a speech that articulates how upset with him you are, but ultimately how much he means to you. This conversation is going to be the turning point, whether it’s for better or for worse. You finally approach his unit, heart beating out of your chest and blinking back tears as you knock on the door. You don’t even notice that you’re holding your breath until you hear the lock spin. Suddenly everything you’ve rehearsed disappears from your mind. 

The door opens slowly and you see him. The whites of his eyes are red and wet. His skin is flushed and his under eyes swollen. His hair is completely tied back into a knot on his head. He is wearing his favorite sweatpants and no shirt, just his necklace laying against his bare chest. His demeanor not as strong and confident as usual, he looks soft and defeated. Sad.

Has he been crying?

He clears his throat, and places his hand on the edge of the door, leaning slightly against it.

“It’s late.” He says, his voice unsteady. His eyes are looking past you.

“You’re still awake.” You reply quietly, staring intently into the eyes that won’t make contact with yours, knowing if they did, he would break.

“Couldn’t sleep.” He says thinly.

A long silence falls between the two of you before you finally break it.

“Danny….” You say before he cuts you off.

“Stop.” his lips tightening into a thin line.

“Just tell me why…” you beg.

He puts his hand in his sweatpants pocket and looks down at the floor. As he looks up he is biting the inside of his cheek.

“What’s there to say?” He says.

“How about…. I don’t know… I’m sorry? Sorry, I was a total asshole? Sorry that I said those things about you?” You say.

He shrugs his shoulders dismissively.

“Why did you call me?” You ask harshly. “Here I am. So talk. What do you want.” 

He stares at you for a second, you can tell that he is thinking about it in his head, the words not leaving his mouth.

After hesitating for a minute, he pulls the door open, silently telling you to come in.

As you walk over the threshold you are assaulted with the scent of him, you’ve missed it. 

He walks over to his couch and sits, you following after him. You notice the bottle of whiskey on the table and look at it, and then to him. His eyes telling you everything you need to know. He is hurting too.

“Alright, I’m listening.” You say.

“I said what I said, and I’m sorry it was harsh, but what did you expect.” He asks.

“I expected you to act like an adult for one fucking second. You blew up. You don’t even know what happened, Danny. You should have just asked. Instead you acted like a child. Embarrassing not only me and Josh, but also yourself.” You say.

“I don’t see you apologizing either. You fucked my best friend… Although… he is just as much to blame as you are.” He scoffs.

“No. That’s not true. Josh had no idea. You had no right to say those things to him.” You say.

He scoffs, “You’re still up Josh’s ass? Instead of ‘Hey Danny, sorry I fucked your friend…’ you want to come here and scold me for being mad at him? Classic.” 

“I’m not 'up anyones ass’, cut the shit Danny. You can be mad at me all you want, but Josh didn’t do anything wrong. He had no idea we were together or he would never have done it.” You seethe.

“Let me stop you right there. We were never together….” He says looking past you before cutting his eyes to you.

“Oh god…You can’t be serious? How many times are we going to do this? Does it somehow make you feel better to shove those feelings down? To act like you don’t feel the exact same way I feel? To pretend that you don’t want to be with me, just as bad as I want to be with you?” You ask.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He says dismissively.

“Oh, really? Is that why you ran that guy off at the bar that night? Why you stole me away from that guy at the party? Is that why you blew up when you found out Josh and I hooked up? Because you don’t want me? Or is it because you just don’t want anyone else to have me, Danny. Which is it?” You ask.

His eyes grow dark and piercing, staring directly into yours. A long pause of silence as he contemplates his words.

“Why Josh?” He yells. “Just tell me why him.”

“Because I was devastated Danny! You broke my heart! You told me we would never be anything! Told me that you didn’t want me…That you could never want me! Then I find out you slept with someone else…. a random groupie at that. You’d rather have meaningless sex, then have me. Do you have any idea how that made me feel? I thought maybe when you came back we would… I don’t know. I just thought maybe we could figure this out. But then I found out about that, and between that and you telling me that we would never be together I was just… broken.  I was so…sad. He was there for me when you weren’t, and my god did it feel amazing to finally have someone put ME first. To have someone care about MY feelings. He was there to put me back together after you single-handedly tore me apart, for weeks.“ you cry.

You see him swallow hard his eyes blinking rapidly.

“After you left we hung out at the bar for a while after it closed, we had been drinking all night just talking, and he was being so gentle and kind. I don’t know if it was the alcohol or what, but he got to me. I felt something. It was so different than what we had been doing, Danny. It was so easy and natural and there was no yelling or fighting. I thought maybe if I couldn’t have you, I could have the next best thing. I thought maybe he was the best thing for me… I thought that maybe he would patch up the hole in my chest. I WANTED him to fix me, to be the person that was going to be with me. But he didn’t and he isn’t. All I could think of was you. How he wasn’t you. How he would never be able to make me feel the way you do.” 

You pause, feeling the tears begin to form. 

You can see the guilt building on his face, the deep crease between his eyebrows, and the lines around his eyes. 

"But then tonight, the things you said…How could you say that to me? In front of everyone? Out of all of the shitty things you’ve ever said and done, that was by far the worst. I never thought you would say those things, ever. I was ready to give up on everything. All of it. But do you know who came to my rescue, again? Who ultimately showed up to play defense for YOU? Helped me understand? 

The other person you hurt tonight Danny, your best friend. Josh. HE came to me, waited for me all night, actually. He helped me understand my feelings about you. That they were real, and valid. And yours, explaining it from a different perspective. Putting his own feelings aside. Yet you have the audacity to sit here and…. ” You stop, sobbing as the tears finally spill violently over the edge of your lashes. 

“He had no idea, and you attacked him. He was blindsided! You hurt and embarrassed him. Did you know that he liked me? Did you know that night at the party he was going to try to finally tell me? But instead he told you that you should go after me? Because he could see that you wanted me? And what did you do Danny?” You ask. “Answer.” 

“I did it.” He says.

“But you didn’t tell him, because you were too full of yourself to damage your tough guy persona. The damage you did inflict was on someone who was on your side and always has been. Who would do anything for you.” You say. 

“I knew it.” He says.

“Forget it, I can see this is pointless.” You say standing up.

He grabs your arm and pulls you back down onto the couch. “No. I’m sorry. Please.”

“You have about two seconds to start talking and don’t give me any bullshit. ” You say.

“I was furious. More than furious. Enraged. I went to your apartment this morning. I wanted to talk to you. I was going to tell you that I wanted to be with you. I was going to tell you how I thought of you, fuck, dreamed of you every single day we were gone. How sorry I was for ever telling you we would never be more, when that’s all I really wanted. 

Then after last night at the bar, I saw Josh’s car in the parking lot and I just knew... I thought you lied to me. I thought you wanted him, not me.” He says, fidgeting with his hands.

“I didn’t mean anything that I said the day I left. I was too prideful to admit how I really felt… so I pushed you away. I didn’t want to get hurt again. I couldn’t. But as the days passed I realized that I was hurting. Hurting without you, dwelling on the things I said to you and letting you believe that I meant them. I thought maybe when we came back I would see you at the bar and we could talk and try and figure everything out. Then Sam brought up the girl and it ruined everything. It was a horrible experience, the entire time I was with her all I could think of was you. I missed you so desperately and the pain in my chest was so bad I was willing to try anything to get you out of my head, even for a second.” He pauses, swallowing down the lump in his throat. 

“If you remember, you said a few hurtful things too. I thought you didn’t want me either. I tried to believe it and take it for face value. But somehow I knew it wasn’t true. I told myself that you still wanted me. So then, when I saw Josh’s car at your apartment, and put the pieces together I… I don’t know. I thought you wanted him. I lost it. I am so fucking sorry. 

I know none of this would have happened if I just told you how I really felt all along. If I had just been honest with you. With myself.” He says, a tear slipping out of the corner of his eye, running down his cheek.

Your heart constricts in your chest as you see his emotions coming out. He is being genuine and you can tell he means every word.

Your hand reaches up and your thumb swipes away the tear.

“How do you really feel Danny?” You ask almost a whisper.

“Full of regret.” He answers, grabbing your wrist, turning his face into your hand.

“What do you regret?” You ask, your fingertips gently scratching his hairline.

“Ever letting you believe that I haven’t wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on you.”

“Danny…” you say, a tear falling, dripping from your chin.

“No, there’s more. For ever letting you think that you’re less than exactly what I want. For letting you believe I ever meant any horrible thing I’ve ever said. But mostly I regret that I caused this. I wish I could go back, I wish I could redo the last month. From the moment we came together the night of the party, I felt this weight lift off my shoulders. I finally realized how much effort I was putting into fighting my feelings for you. I was so worried about what bad could happen, that I wasn’t willing to see what good could happen. I see it now. The way you make me smile, my heart beat faster just with your presence, and the empty feeling when you’re gone. I want you, all of you. If you’ll have me, I will spend every single day reminding you how you’re exactly, everything I have ever wanted. All I’ll ever want.”

You stare at each other for a few seconds, both of your faces stained with tears, and as if you both had the same thought at the same time, you are suddenly colliding together, your lips finding each others, sobs crying out between both of you.

His hands pull your face to his as you intertwine your fingers through his knot of hair. His thumbs swipe away the tears still flowing on your cheeks. You push yourself over him, to lay on top of his warm body. You pull away from his face and push yourself up on your hands.

“I’ll have you. I’ll always have you.” You say.

With a swift movement, his lips are meeting with yours, in the most breath stealing, loving kiss your lips have ever felt. You can taste the saltiness of the tears mixing in with your saliva. His kiss is soft and comforting but hard and wanting, like it’s been lit like a firecracker, waiting for the fuse to burn out before exploding.  You pull away for air and he stares at you rubbing his thumb over your lips.

“You are everything I have ever wanted.” He whispers.

“Prove it.” You reply breathlessly.

He sits you up on the couch before standing, reaching his hand out to yours looking at you with dark eyes. You reach your hand to his, as he pulls you to stand. His arm wraps around your waist and pull you into his bare chest, your hand sliding up through the tiny hairs, over his collarbone and wrapping around the back of his neck. The feeling of touching his skin sending electricity through your veins.

His hand cups your jaw rubbing his finger tips gently into your cheek. Your eyes flutter shut at the gentleness of his touch.

“Look at me.” He whispers.

You open your eyes and see him staring directly into yours. 

“Tell me that you still want me.” He says. “Tell me that you’ve wanted me as bad as I have wanted you, everyday for the past three weeks…fuck, for the past year…”

“Every second.” You reply barely a whisper.

Your lips crash together, his lips furiously searching for the comfort of yours. The ache in your chest bursting into 10,000 tiny winged butterflies, fluttering through your body, so quickly you feel like you’re floating yourself. Your fingers tangle in his hair, pulling him as close as you possibly can, never feeling close enough. He lets out a soft moan as you tug on the curls, immediately turning the butterflies in your stomach aflame, in a way that only he can do to you. 

“Let me show you how I feel about you.” He says as he moves his mouth down your neck. His lips are soft and wet, and your eyes flutter shut as he trails down to your chest. With the lightest touch you’ve ever felt from him, he slowly strips you of your shirt, kissing every inch of skin as it becomes bare. He reaches one hand behind you and unclasps your bra easily, leaving your bare chest exposed to him. 

“I am the luckiest man in the world. You are absolutely breathtaking.” a blush creeps to your cheeks at your vulnerable position. You reach up to kiss him but he stops you before you can touch your lips to his. 

“No, no, no. Right now this is all about YOU. I want to worship every inch of your beautiful body.” He reaches up and adjusts your head so you are looking to the side and he has perfect view of your jugular. 

“From here…” he licks a long stripe down your neck and you let out an involuntary moan at the contact. 

“To here…” he slowly drags his hand down the middle of your sternum, to your stomach and eventually landing the tip of his finger right on the center of your clit. 

“Danny, please” you breathe. The sensation and desire causing you to screw your eyes shut. You shift your hips to create some friction between his fingertip and yourself, but he quickly takes it away. 

“Hey. I said that I was going to make you feel good. Let’s not rush it. I only just got you back.” He smiles and begins his decent to your chest. With one hand cupping your left breast, kneading it with gentle pressure, he then takes your right nipple in his mouth, as slowly as possible. Your eyes roll back in your head at the feeling of his wet tongue swirling circles over the sensitive bud. To add to your misery, he follows your whimpers with the sexiest and deepest groans you have ever heard. 

“Daniel,” you look him in the eyes and hope he sees how badly you want him, immediately.

“Okay, baby. I’ll take care of you. Let’s go somewhere a little more comfortable.” He lets out a light laugh and in a second you are swooped into the air, him lifting you up bridal style and carrying you to his bedroom. He kicks the door open with his foot, not even bothering to turn on a light. 

“I need you. So bad.” He whispers into your ear.

His words adding fuel to the fire in deep in your stomach. He lays you down gently on his bed, your head hits his pillow and you can smell the scent of his shampoo. You hope this moment never ends.

His calloused hands run down the length of your body.

“You are so beautiful….such a gorgeous body. Do you know how long I have thought that?” He asks, unbuttoning your jeans. 

“Tell me.” You reply, squirming for his touch. He pulls off your jeans painfully slow. 

“Do you remember the day we met?” He asks smoothing his hands up and down your thighs. 

Please don’t stop.

“Yes…” You feel his fingertips brush over the top of your thong, gently pressing into the fabric as he kneels in front of you. 

“The first night we came into the bar… I saw you behind the counter. You had your hair up, and a tank top on. I remember seeing the neon signs glowing off of your skin, the smile on your face when you would talk to someone…. I couldn’t look away. I was completely captivated.” He says pressing a kiss to your center, over the fabric. 

“At the time I was with Olivia so I couldn’t even talk to you. So I just sat, and I watched you all night.” He says kissing your inner thigh, causing you to arch your back. “I wanted you, but I couldn’t have you.”

He hooks his fingers through the sides of your panties and begins slowly dragging them down your body, tossing them to the side. 

Biting your thigh ever so gently he says, “Open for me baby.”

Baby…

“Every night we would come in, I would think about all the ways I wanted you…” he says between kisses “Wanted you for myself.”

You open for him and you feel his hands slide upwards towards your center before stopping. One more soft kiss, placed right over your core. 

You feel his hand slide up and off of your waist, feeling through the sheets, finding your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, holding your hand in his. His other rests gently on your hip.

You feel his warm tongue swipe up through your center. A gasp leaving your mouth. His hand grips into your hip, as his tongue makes the connection again, this time lingering, licking small circles over your clit. He is taking his time, being slow and deliberate. Savoring you. Your hips buck upward into him

“Danny…” you whimper breathlessly.

“The best sound in the world…” he says, between passes at your core. 

His hand releases yours and grabs your other hip, pulling your body down the bed and into his face continuing his assault on your center, before he pulls away completely.

“Can we try something?” He asks.

“Like what?” You ask.

“I’m gonna lay here, and you’re going to straddle my face. Want to have you this way. Dreamt of it.” He says. 

He lays down on the bed, and taps your leg giving you the signal to climb over him. You straddle his face and his arms wrap around your legs, pulling you closer to his mouth. You feel him connect his lips around your clit and cry out at the new feeling. 

“Oh god…it feels so different….” You whine.

A muffled, ‘mmmhmm’ leaving his chest. You begin to rock your hips back and forth as he desperately laps at your center. 

With each movement of your hips you are getting closer and closer to the edge. His nose is nudging against your clit each time, causing you to unravel faster than you intended. To try and hold on a bit longer you decide to focus on him for a minute. You reach down and run your fingers into his hair, feeling for the elastic tying it up. You find it and gently remove the band putting it on your wrist, letting his hair flow freely around his face. 

He is so gorgeous.

He pulls his face away from you panting, before you feel a finger sliding through your folds, collecting the wetness. 

“You are so ready, baby.” He pants. 

“I need you… please. I want you so bad.” You reply.

In an instant he is again connecting his lips to your clit, sucking gently as the finger plunges inside of you, curling to reach your sensitive spot. 

“Danny, I’m not gonna last… please.” you beg.

“Cum for me beautiful. Please… Let me taste you. Cum right on my face.” He says.

Another finger enters you and you feel your orgasm about to tip over the edge. He flattens his tongue and runs it slowly thorough you, sucking your clit as hard as he can, sending you flying over the edge you were teetering on. Your hips rock down into his face as your orgasm wracks through your body, a scream leaving your mouth. As you come down from your blissful state, you slide backwards and lean over him, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Danny… I…I’m sorry I slept with him…” you pant into his chest.

He swipes the hair from your neck, petting your head “I know baby…It’s okay… but let me remind you why you were still thinking about me with someone else inside of you.”

Please.

Suddenly he is flipping your hips to lay you on the bed. Your head once again resting on his pillow. He pulls off his sweatpants and boxers before rejoining you at the head of the bed.

His lips find yours, his tongue asking for entrance into your mouth. You part your lips, and your tongues begin to swirl together, you can taste yourself on him. His hair hangs down, the tips gently tickling your face and shoulders. You reach your arm up and pull his body down to lay on top of yours. His hand reaches between the two of you, grasping his dick and sliding it through your wetness. 

With one hand on your face his thumb slides over your lips, before pressing into your mouth. You wrap your lips around it and suck it further into your mouth. Suddenly you feel him pressing into your core. You groan at the sudden pressure and fullness. He groans at the sensation of finally having you wrapped around him again.

His hand comes up next to your head and he lifts up, bearing his weight on it. He pulls his hips back and slams back into you with a grunt. He removes his thumb from your mouth and taking it, he reaches between you and places it firmly on your clit. 

“Oh god, please….” You whine.

“Feel good, beautiful?” He asks, picking up his pace, slamming in and out of you.

“I wanna fuck you slow baby, don’t want to cum too fast, and god I could just blow right now… But you feel so fucking tight and perfect around me. I don’t know if I can go slow.” He says, out of breath. 

You grab his wrist and pull it gently to your neck silently asking for the pressure of his fingers around your throat.

“You want me to choke you, dirty girl?” He says, gripping your throat.

Your insides light on fire. Only for him. He presses down and a groan escapes your lips, as you stare directly into his beautiful eyes. 

He throws his head back for a second before looking back down at you. 

“God, I….. I cant fucking live with out you. Without this…” He says hitting your spot over and over as he releases your throat. 

The pressure builds inside of you.

“Danny….I’m gonna cum… “ you say

“Tell me how bad you want it.” He grunts.

“Please… let me cum for you…” You beg.

“Jesus Christ you are so fucking perfect. Cum for me beautiful. Right now.” He demands, and as if he wired your brain you let go and let your orgasm wash over you again, at his hands. 

He bends down and places an open mouthed kiss right on your throat. 

“I can feel how hard your heart is beating for me. Only me.” He breathes. Goosebumps running up your skin. 

“Lay on your stomach.” He says pulling out and flipping you over. 

He grabs a pillow and taps your hip, asking you to lift up, as he slides the pillow under your pelvis.

He moves your hair to one side gently placing a kiss on your shoulder blade, causing your body to squirm.

He lines himself up with you and slides right back into you with ease.

“Ahhhhh fuckk…..you are so tight like this, god I love it…” he groans.

“Fuck me Danny, please. Be rough, I want it to hurt.” You say.

“If I start I don’t think I’ll be able to stop, are you sure?” He asks.

“Please…” you whisper.

He grabs a hand full of your hair, pulling your head back as a gasp leaves your lips.

He pulls out and forcefully slams back in with a loud grunt. He grabs both of your hips lifting you slightly off of the pillow as his hips snap back and forth into you loud moans crying out from his chest. His hand releases your hip before crashing into your ass with a stinging slap.

“You’re mine! You’re fucking mine.” He demands. “Say it!”

“I’m yours! I’m yours Danny, I’ve always been yours. It’s you, it’s always been you. Please please, keep going. Don’t stop!” You cry.

His hips start to move faster and more jagged, you can feel his cock twitching inside of you, and you know he is close. The headboard of his bed and crashing violently against the wall. 

“Fuck, baby. You were made for me. I am not going to last much longer” he pants. 

“Danny, cum, please…fill me, I want you everywhere… I need it.” You whine.

You tighten around him as you let your self go for the final time, his name crying from your lips. 

“Danny….. oh fuck…. Feels so fucking good baby….” 

He tenses up and you can feel his grip tighten on you. 

“Ahhh. Fuck… I... love you….” He moans as you feel his release washing over your insides in warm shots. 

He loves me. 

He collapses on top of you kissing your neck and face over and over before pulling out of you. 

“You’re so good, baby. I’ve been craving you for weeks. Every time is even better than I could dream of.”

You smile back at him, rolling over to face him. You run your hand over his bicep, caressing his muscles that are so prominent.

“I meant it, you know.” he says, looking straight into your eyes.

“Meant what?” You question, not wanting to get your hopes up.

“I love you. I wasn’t just saying that in the moment, it’s true. I have spent what feels like a lifetime between last night and this morning trying to figure out what I feel for you and it always comes back to that. I love you. All of you. Every single part.” you can feel his heart beating fast, yours matching his tempo.

“Danny….I love you too. I’m sorry it took both of us so long to realize it.” you place a chaste kiss to his bottom lip and lace your fingers in his, giving him a squeeze.

“All that matters is that we are here now.” He squeezes your hand back and sits up, running his fingers through your hair, smoothing it back. He exits the bed and walks to the bathroom.

You lay there, staring at the ceiling for a moment, taking in everything that has happened over the last 24 hours. You look to your right and notice the time on the clock reads 5:03am. It’s morning now.

You hear the shower turn on, and Danny pokes his head out the door.

“Come on beautiful, let’s take a shower.” He says. 

DANNY POV

“It should be warm enough now, you can go ahead, I’ll join you in a second.” You say as she steps through the bathroom door. Her beautiful figure is perched on the door frame watching you. She smiles and steps into through the glass door, the water flowing over her perfect skin.

You catch yourself smiling at her, before turning on your heels to walk to your dresser. You grab a pair of boxers and a t-shirt for her, and place it on the night stand. You shake out the comforter and re-lay it on the bed, placing the clothes for her on her pillow. 

You walk back to the bathroom and see her through the foggy glass, washing her hair. You step into the shower joining her and she opens her eyes and smiles. You smile too, committing this to memory.

She reaches out her hand and pulls you closer to her, until your dry body is pressed against her  wet one. 

“Are you gonna get wet or are you just going to stand there staring at me?” She asks.

You smirk at her and reach your hands up cupping her face and placing a soft kiss on her lips. 

“Please never stop running that smart mouth.” You say. 

She smiles and continues rinsing her hair, stepping back and letting you under the spray. You wet your body and your hair pushing it back out of your face. She grabs your body wash and begins to rubs her hands all over her body while staring directly into your eyes.

“Did you not get enough?” You ask cheekily, rinsing your shampoo out of your hair.

“Never.” She replies.

Oh shit. Stay down.

“Baby, its 5 in the morning…” you reply, water dripping off your face.

She grabs the body wash this time rubbing it into your skin. Her hands glide up your stomach, over your chest and back down your arms. 

“I know, I’m just teasing you.” She says playfully stepping under the spray and rinsing her body.

You grab her in your arms and pull her into you wrapping your arms around her shoulders and hers sliding around your waist. You press a kiss to the top of her head before turning your head to rest on the top of hers. You stand there just holding her for a second. 

“You done baby?” You ask.

“Only if you’re planning on cuddling me when we get out.” she says.

You smile, probably harder than you should. “Oh, believe me, I am never letting you go.”

You open the glass door and grab her towel handing it to her, before grabbing your own. You both dry yourselves, and walk into the bedroom. 

“For me?” She asks picking up the t-shirt.

“If you want it… gonna be cold tonight…” you say with a smirk.

She lifts it to her face breathing in the material. “Smells like you…”

“Well, I happen to be right here.” You reply.

She smiles and slides the shirt over her head, and the boxers over her legs. 

She is so beautiful.

“Do you happen to have a hairbrush?” She asks.

“I do, would you like it?” You reply.

“Do you mind?” She asks.

You pull your boxers on and walk over the bathroom, opening your cabinet drawer and pulling out the brush. You walk back the the bed, where she is sitting at the end, legs folded, the t-shirt enveloping her body in the best way. You hand her the brush and she begins to slowly pull it through her hair. 

I have to touch it.

“Can I…. Can I do it?” You ask nervously.

“You want to?” She asks.

You nod and accept the brush back from her, you kneel onto the bed behind her and sit. You use your free hand to gently grab all the wet hair in her face and pull it all to rest on her back. You start at the top of her scalp and slowly pull the brush through the wet strands. She tips her head back at the feeling of someone doing this for her. 

You never truly took the time to see her this way. She is so soft and warm. So tender. Just naturally pretty.

You do her whole head slowly and methodically, until it all lays neatly across her back. You slide it all to one side, and place a soft kiss to her neck as she squirms under your lips. 

“I love you.” You say, truly feeling nothing but love for her in that moment. 

She turns her head, bringing her hand to your face, “I love you too Danny. So much.” Before pressing her lips so delicately to yours. 

“Can we go to sleep now?” She asks.

“Yes, come here.” You say pulling the comforter back. You slide under and open your arms to her. She turns off the lamp and slides backwards into your body, pushing her wet hair to the side, leaving her neck exposed. She pushes back a little more, fitting perfectly against you. Like she was made to fit right there. 

You wrap your arms around her and her fingers lace with yours, you place one more kiss softly on her neck and whisper “I hope this is how all my nights end, from now on.” 

“Me too, baby.” she replies with a yawn.

Having her wrapped in your arms, you feel that hole in your chest growing smaller and smaller. You were so sure you’d never love again after Olivia. But then she came along and turned your entire world upside down. You’re going to do this right this time. You can’t lose her. Not ever.  You close your eyes to the darkness as the sun light slowly creeps into the sky.

The alarm rings far too soon. You pry your eyes open and hit the orange snooze button, hoping it didn’t wake her. You force your eyes open and see her passed out on the pillow, tiny breaths leaving her slightly parted mouth. You close your eyes and fall back asleep for just a tiny bit longer. When the alarm goes off again you turn it off and convince yourself to get up. You see its 12:00 and you know you have to be at the studio in just a few hours, and you still have to try and go over your notes from yesterdays session and make some tweaks. 

As quietly as you can you roll out of bed, pulling the comforter back up to cover more of her top half. You walk over the the windows and pull the curtains shut quietly before grabbing your phone and walking out, shutting the door behind you as carefully as you can. 

First things first, coffee.

You start a pot of coffee, then walking to the laundry room to find something to put on. You find a pair of joggers and a t-shirt and quickly pull them both on. You walk back to the kitchen to see the coffee just beginning to drop into the pot.

God, come on…

You walk over to the couch and sit placing your feet on the coffee table. You pull out your phone and scroll through Instagram seeing what you have been tagged in overnight, giggling at memes and edits people have made giving them the like they deserve. 

You stand and walk over to the kitchen, catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror.

Yikes, you remember why you cant go to bed with wet hair… you’ll have to deal with that later. 

You grab the elastic band you see sitting on the table and pull your hair up into a messy knot. 

The coffee is finally ready and you pull two mugs down, something you will never get tired of. 

You pour yourself a cup, and leave the other empty, knowing she will sleep for at least another hour or so. 

You grab your phone, and your mug and head into your office. You sit down at the desk and take a sip from the mug. The warmth of the coffee wetting your dry throat, and waking up your body. You set the mug down and spin in your chair looking for your work notebook.

You grab a pencil and begin furiously going over all of your notes from yesterday. Jake had a few edits he wanted to make to one of the songs and had an idea for you. 

You grab your headphones sliding them over your head and jiggling the mouse for your computer, waking up the screen. You sip your coffee and see a notification on your phone.

Josh K: You’re coming right?

Shit, you were not looking forward to that conversation.

You: Yes.

Josh: Ok.

For the next hour or so you work on your computer, getting the sample done and sent to Jake so he can preview it before you cut the track today. 

You: Just sent sample, give it a listen so we can try to cut today.

Jacob K: Oh you’re coming?

You: Yes, why?

Jacob K: Were you present last evening?

You: I’m going to talk to Josh, it’s all good.

Jacob K: Interesting.

As you set your phone down the desk you hear a creak at the door and see her standing watching you. 

“Good morning beautiful girl. Well, afternoon now, I guess.” You smile.

She walks in, her wavy hair flowing around her face that is smiling at you with tired eyes. You motion for her to sit on your lap and she does, wrapping her arm around your shoulders. 

“What are you working on?” She asks.

“I am just revising this song so that I could send a sample to Jake. We are going to try and recut this today… Do you want to hear it?” You ask. 

She nods her head yes and you grab the headphones and place them over her head, making sure you turn the volume down a bit. You play the sample and see her nod her head a little bit. You rest your hand on her thigh, and she lays her hand on top of yours. 

When it finishes, she takes the headphones off.  “You know, I would never have expected that you guys to sound like that.” She says laughing. 

You pull your head back, “What do you mean? You’ve…. Never… listened our music?” You ask shocked.

“No. I actually never have… I thought it might be weird if I was… a fan.” She laughs.

“You know what? I kind of love that. But we are going to have to get you up to speed. There is a lot you will need to know…you know, as the drummer’s girlfriend.” He smiles.

“Oh, really? The drummer’s girlfriend?” She asks coyly.

“Yeah, I hear she’s really beautiful, and smart, and funny and he is totally in love with her.” You say.

“Are you saying that you want me to be your girlfriend Daniel?” She asks.

Yes, I want you to be everything…

“If you want to be, I cant think of anything I want more…” You reply.

“I’ll have to think about it…Does the drummer’s girlfriend get any coffee?”

“Oh yes, among other great perks.” You reply.

“Yeah I feel the perk pressing into my leg right now…” she jokes.

You smile at her mischievously, “Yes baby, there is coffee in the pot and a mug on the counter, but I will get it for you. You just go sit your pretty self on the couch and let me wait on you.”

“Okay, well I thought about it…I want to be the drummer’s girlfriend. I am very interested in the perks.” She laughs.

You stare into her eyes, lingering on them for a few seconds before you find yourself saying “I love you.”

She leans over and presses her lips to yours. “Love you, drummer boyfriend.” She says getting up and walking off with a wink. A smile crossing your lips. 

God damn you’ve got it bad.

The rest of the time you have goes by far too quickly. You spent a little time with her talking and enjoying each other, then you took a quick shower just so you could fix your hair, got dressed and next thing you know you are grabbing your keys to leave. 

“You’ll be there tonight right?” You ask her.

“No, I’m off tonight actually.” She replies.

“Oh, but you’ll still come though?” You ask.

“I can… but you need to work things out with the guys first.” She says grabbing her things, ready to leave too.

“Yes, please come. I promise I am going to talk to all of them as soon as I get there.” You say letting her walk out the door, you following behind her.

You lock the door, and grab her hand. “I am going to make this right. I promise. Trust me.” 

“Okay, I believe you. Just text me what time.” She says.

You give her a quick kiss and you both walk to your cars. Heading in separate directions. 

The whole way to the studio all you can think about is what you’re going to say to Josh. You’re fairly confident that you wouldn’t be where you are with her now if he hadn’t talked to her last night. You feel like you need to thank him, but also you want to punch him square in the face for sleeping with her….

But she is right, he had no idea…. 

You pull up at the studio, you’re the first one there, as usual. You walk in the front door, and sit on the couch in the sound room, waiting for them all to saunter in at their leisure.

Sam walks in first, “Hello Daniel, ol’ chap, how did you fair last night?” He asks in a joking tone.

“Honestly, I was so furious, I thought I might actually drive over to Josh’s house and strangle him. But it would have been no use because he was at her damn apartment.” You reply.

“Oh, so today should be super fun and productive!” He says sarcastically.

“Well, I wasn’t finished, around 3 in the morning I hear a knock at my door, and guess who?” You ask.

“Oh god, was it her!?” He asks shocked.

“Yes…Apparently Josh went over to her apartment and basically showed her the facts of the situation, and helped her realize, that… well…. She loves me, and she always has.” You reply.

“What?! There is no way… you… you two…” he stammers.

“No dude, I fucking love her too. Bad.” You say laughing.

“Holy shit…. I KNEW it!” He yells. “I swear to god I heard you moan her name in your sleep on the bus a few weeks ago…”

“I probably did, I couldn’t get her out of my head. Still cant. Don’t want to either.” You reply.

Jake walks in looking like he just rolled out of bed. He sees Sam’s excited energy and looks to you and raises his eyebrows.

“Daniel?” He asks setting down his guitar case, placing his hands in his pockets, furrowing his brow more.

“They’re in LOVE!” Sam blurts out pointing at you.

“Is that so? Can’t say I’m surprised. You are quite the catch these days, Daniel.” He says with a smirk. “Glad you both figured it out.”

“Oh we figured it out… a few times.” You joke.

You all share a laugh as Josh walks into the booth. You all drop the smiles from your faces when he looks at you. 

“Oh come on… what?” He asks. “I am only 10 minutes late this time!”

“You ready to get started?” Jake asks, changing the subject.

“Let’s do it, did you listen to that sample?” You ask.

“Yes, sounds better. Let’s start with that.” He replies.

Josh is acting very normal around you. You thought things would be tense. You were so mad at him, but somehow it seems to be fading away, and now you’re just thankful for him. You are still going to talk to him alone later, but for now, you’re just going to let things ride.

A few hours later, you are all sitting back in the booth, editing the last few minutes of your recuts for the day. 

“Sixty’s?” Sam asks.

“I’m in.” Jake says, placing his guitar in the hard case, clipping the locks.

“Yeah, I will meet you guys there.” You reply, pulling your phone out, sending her a quick text. 

“Okay, twist my arm…” Josh jokes. 

Sam and Jake leave and Josh gathers his things and starts to head out, before you stop him.

“Josh, we need to talk.” You say.

“I know, I was hoping to avoid it though.” He smiles.

“I’m sorry about last night man, I was so heated. Didn’t occur to me that you had no idea.” You say crossing your arms.

“No, I didn’t know and I’m sorry I slept with your girl. I would have never…. You know, if I had known…” he stammers.

“Thank you. For talking to her last night. I owe you everything for sending her back to me.” You say.

“Brother, I would do anything for you. I knew she loved you 5 minutes into our conversation. She told me everything I would ever hope someone would say about me one day. I told her she needed to go tell you all of that. I’m guessing everything went well?” He asks.

“It did…more than well. I just don’t want there to be any hard feelings between us. I love her, but dude I love you too. Need you both.” You smile softly at him.

“Ah, you cant get rid of me that easily. No hard feelings. Love her hard, she deserves it.” He says, grabbing his stuff and gesturing to walk outside. You lock the studio door and tell him you’ll meet him there.

You and Josh park at the same time, looking at each other through your car windows and giving a small salute with your fingers. It is going to take some time for things to feel completely normal again, but for now you are just glad that the two of you have gotten past the worst of it.

You open the door and usher Josh in before you step inside yourself to the dive bar that you’ve come to love so much. You’re greeted by the familiar scent of beer and stale popcorn, the neon lights casting a shine that gives you hope for what the future has in store.

Today is the start of something new, a new beginning. With her.

You see Sam and Jake already perched at your favorite table, puzzled looks on their faces when they see you and Josh laughing and playfully punching each other as you make your way there. 

“Oof. I am ready for a cocktail. Who’s buying?” Josh sits down and looks to his brothers to see who will offer first.

After a minute of silence Sam is the first to give in. “Alright fine…” he jokingly stomps away to the bar to grab the first round.

As he’s ordering the drinks you hear a bell, indicating someone new has entered the bar. She walks in and immediately your stomach is full of butterflies, unsure of how to act with her in public for the first time since everything has happened. You can tell she feels uneasy too, not wanting to make eye contact with the table yet and walking faster than usual. When she finally approaches the table, Josh is the first to speak.

“Ahhh, there she is. If you can’t be serving us, your company is the next best thing.” he gives her a warm smile and she returns it. You see Jake watching their interaction, unsure of what to think. The confusion only grows deeper as she sits down next to you, giving you a kiss on the cheek and scooting her chair as close as possible. You place your arm around her shoulders to calm her nerves. 

Before he can ask any questions, Sam is back at the table with the round of drinks as promised. 

“Alright you bastards,” he starts while handing everyone their drink of choice. Once everyone has something in hand he raises his up to the ceiling.

“To all of us getting along again, and to whatever fucked up things happened staying in the past. All that matters is that my brothers are happy.” To that everyone hums in unison, taking a sip of their alcohol. You squeeze your arm around your girl and kiss her forehead. Finally feeling like everything came together the way it was supposed to.

Josh pats your back and gives you a smile, which seems to be enough for Jake to let it go, him taking a swig of his beer and focusing his attention on the door. You realize that Sam is also looking at the door, and his face is completely drained of color, looking like he’s seen a ghost. You turn your head towards the door and can’t process what you are seeing. You recoil your arm and sit up straight, trying to look strong and confident. 

Fuck. You know you aren’t seeing things correctly, you’re definitely hallucinating. This is not real.

“Well… to what do we owe this great pleasure?” Sam asks sarcastically as she approaches your table.

“C’mon Sammy, after all the years we’ve known each other THAT is how you greet me? I’m hurt.” she lets out a dry laugh and focuses her attention to you. It takes all of your strength to not make eye contact, but you slowly look up.

You’re mistaken though, she isn’t looking at you at all. Her stare is trained on the beautiful girl to your left. 

No, not now. This cannot be happening. Please.

“Hi, I’m Olivia. I’m sure Daniel has told you all about me…” she extends her hand with a giggle. 

Fuck.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Fin. 

Not ready to let go? Find out what happens next by reading Crave, the sequel to Muse, located under my Josh Tab.

#josh kiszka #joshua michael kiszka #josh kiszka fanfiction #greta van fleet #greta van fleet fan fiction #greta van fleet smut #greta van smut #greta van fic #danny wagner #sam kiszka #jake kiszka #jacob thomas kiszka #daniel robert wagner #samuel francis kiszka #joshua michael monday #greta van fluff #jtk x reader #jmk x reader #gvf smut #gvf fic #gvf series #jake gvf #sam kiszka gvf #gvf #josh gvf #sam gvf #gvf danny #danny wagner smut #danny gvf #danny wagner x reader

[jade-masquerade]

20 questions for fic writers

thank you for tagging me, @periwinkle39!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

40

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

350,294

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Primarily GOT/ASOIAF, but a bit of The Last Kingdom in the past as well

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The Thawing of Winter

Ever After

Don't Tell Robb

Try It

Snow Madness

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, because I very much appreciate the time people take to leave them! I know I still have to reply to the ones left on the last chapter of Always Loved a Queen though, which is on my list of things to do for winter break.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's just a drabble, but probably loving you is like holding smoke. I had some ideas to make it into a longer fic so if I did it would probably have a happy ending, but for now it is definitely not erring on that side.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Most of them wrap up with a Jonsa happily ever after, but if I had to choose one probably The Thawing of Winter since it also has all of the Starks reunited!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

On occasion--definitely far more for the last fic I published, Always Loved a Queen, than others so I'm not sure if it was the choice of characters involved, truly that controversial of a plot, or if there are just more haters out there now than before lol

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep, a fair bit 😅

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Not usually, unless various versions of AUs would count as crossovers

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Again not that I know of

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, Ever After!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Absolutely Jonsa without a doubt, and I can't imagine anything ever coming close to that

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have dozens started on my computer that will probably never be published in any form, but the most extensive one and the one I would love to finish the most would be a full-length followup fic to my f1!AU one-shot Green Flag

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think writing a character's inner voice and having a sense of who that character is, what they would do in a given situation, and how they would think

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Definitely plotting, particularly the middle part that starts to sag--this is why I write mostly one-shots!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I think it can fit well if it fits with the character using it, used for a particular purpose, and is easily understood in the context

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Harry Potter wayyyyy back when

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Finally finishing The Thawing of Winter was absolutely an accomplishment for me, but in terms of the most fun I've ever had writing a single fic I think I would also choose In Case of Fire!

I think a lot of others have been tagged already, so I will tag anyone else who sees this and wants to share as well!

#tag game #my fic

[marrow-minded]

SPOILERS FOR RWBY VOL 9 BUT HOLY SHIT I COULD TALK ABOUT THIS FOR HOURS

sorry for the janky screen recording twitter sucks and im impatient

OKAY SO LIKE. WOW????? this is so much and its SOOOOOOO GOOD like both ruby and jaune both have completely valid points !!

ruby is finally being allowed to snap a little, shes allowed to be pissed at her friends and sister who have all done a pretty piss poor job of supporting her, despite the fact that shes the youngest and has the most weighing on her. its great that show is lampshading (something i never expected to say) the fact that ruby is usually just looked to for the answers as well as telling blake to shut up when she tries to do the old "i know things look bad but" schtick that always shows up in the show. its FANTASTIC that ruby just leaves them behind even if we know itll be temporary; i truly hope this is a wakeup call for WBY who have been passive in rubys life for FAR TOO LONG despite all ruby has done for them

and its AMAZING that ruby *CALLED BLAKE AND YANG OUT* for prioritizing their relationship NOW! like i said on twitter, rubys reaction to the bees means her "what" in reaction to weiss' "finally" earlier in the vol wasnt confusion. it was disbelief that this is the priority for her sister and teammate after everything and considering where they are; not in a homophobic way (duh) but in a "we are literally in hell and salem is still OUT THERE with two relics and a maiden and we destroyed a fourth of the known world bc of a plan crumbled as we made it AND PENNY IS DEAD and we dont know what happened to our friends and all the civilians and NOW this is a priority?!" way, WHICH IS SO FANTASTIC. i just hope that the writers let this stand and dont have ruby walk back her feelings to protect WBY's because shes 100% RIGHT.

and jaune. oh jaune. i think its easy to forget that jaune really has sort of revolved his entire life around ruby for the past few years; hes really the only one thats never left rubys side, except unwillingly. so hes really not wrong when he says that it IS all about ruby, it always has been; yes, he chose to go with her but doing that has led him to do some really terrible things and of course when he's experienced such high levels of trauma (they all have) and then is abandoned to a madhouse of the ever after, hes gonna snap, AND HE ACKNOWLEDGES THAT HES NOT WELL. he knows hes struggling, he realizes that he shouldnt have yelled, but hes VALID FOR STRUGGLING IN THE FIRST PLACE. again, i hope its something that the writers let continue naturally and not just have it walked back or dismissed as a lot of male trauma is done in the show (looking at you ren i see you)

side note, how WILD is it that yang literally *moves in front of blake* as if to protect her from RUBY?! like thats so insane to me, and it just VALIDATES rubys annoyance and betrayal that yang is prioritizing blake and their feelings over ruby and their situation here. also, yang protecting blake???? i thought blake was the fiesty one? the one that had a shouting match with weiss for hours? the one that shoved past sun and shouted "hes mine" to get at roman? then again, ever since adams death she barely been able to fight at all so maybe i should just stop being surprised that blake is a wilting wallflower even around her own friends. and BOLD MOVES from yang to act like RUBY is the dangerous one when shes rightfully showing anger and frustration, like yang isnt literally the one known to have anger issues and lash out at ppl. i guess its only okay when yang is mad, ruby really is just having a hysterical woman moment i suppose

UGH this is just so nice and i hate to praise miles about anything but hes always voiced jaune very well and this is a real standout moment from both him and lindsey. good catharsis and felt really good for a least a tiny TINY bit of my critiques of team rwby to be acknowledged by ruby and jaune; hopefully this shit can continue and let them ALL learn and honestly i hope we get even more scenes of ruby and jaune laying into others/each other and bringing criticism that rwde has been saying for years to the screen

#rwby v9 spoilers #rwby spoilers #OUGHHHH TASTY

[bezixx]

Azula's asylum and why you cannot compare it to current standards

Lately I have been hearing that, apparently, saying Azula was treated badly and/or abused in the Fire Nation asylum is insulting, prejudiced, ableist towards mental health institutions ( can you even be ableist towards insitution? ), among many things... Except it is not? Many people who say this are not using this argument on a basis of the belief that all mental institutions are terrible.

Gene Yang's notes left very little room for a different interpretation. Just through reading those, it is clear where he was going with it: either the asylum was terrible at providing her any help and it caused her to be like this OR he is trying to blame Azula for being in an asylum for a year and acting crazy because of it. And, can you guess it, it was something the writer willingly used in the story. So he either took the standard stereotype of a crazy asylum or was ableist in depiction of Azula. Then remember how she was handled in the entirety of the comics. And I hardly see the same people blaming Yang for this.

Except... I am not done yet. You see, most of these claims derive from the standards of modern psychiatric institutions, brings me back to the old arguments of war crimes which did not even exist in ATLA universe, which, for the most part ( there are bad apples everywhere, let us not deny that ), are better prepared and vastly differ from asylums, and how they were handled.

Yes, history, as the world of Avatar: The Last Airbender is not based on the current times. Instead, if we look closely, it appears to derive a lot from 19th century ( in particular - the technology ), with a bit of a mix of some earlier periods, but the theme of 19th century is prevalent here, without anything going beyond it. So in best case scenario, mental health treatment would also be based on that of 19th century... And until then it was not known to be the best, if even widespread. People with most mental issues were expected to stay at home and be treated by their family ( who almost always had no idea how to deal with it properly ) or sent to any other places where they would most likely not heal, regardless. What is known as mental or insane asylum, which is what the asylum in the comics is clearly supposed to be ( even based on just descriptions ), existed since medieval times and were continually used. These were meant to house the "mad" and "insane" people the "worst of the worst" or "incurable", not necessarily treat them. Worse yet, many of these people were thrown in there unrightfully.

However sometime in 19th century these things began to be more noticeable and seen as something to actually treat, but back then, it was still slowly developing. There was very little to no knowledge about the more severe mental health conditions. More proper institutions arose in 20th century, but even then, some of the treatments and methods were rather crude ( did you ever hear of Lobotomy? ), not to mention how many people were put there under many different labels, and these places were most often understaffed. Only nowadays treatment for mental health is readily available in many places.

So, based on this, do you truly expect the mental health care in Avatar universe to suddenly skyrocket and "asylums" become the oasis of peace where people with mental health issues are properly treated, like the psychiatric institutions do currently? That the world of Avatar can get rid of superstitions in a flash? Or that it can mimic the real life in literally every aspect, when it has its "bending" and the slowly growing aspect of spirituality ( which still does not get rid of all the issues by itself )?

#avatar the last airbender #atla #avatar #the search #atla the search #azula #atla asylum

[henrysglock]

Why do you throw bigoted insults at groups only tangentially related to the Ao3 DDoS attack? Even though they did nothing to you? Hmm? You think you need to attack the entire group, but you don’t. You don’t. Oh, but I know you’re just scared. I was scared once too. I know what it’s like to be alone with my thoughts. To be deprived of escapism for an unlimited amount of time.

Like you, I didn’t fit in with the other children. Something was wrong with me. All the teachers and the doctors said I was… “Broken,” they said. My parents thought more outside time might just cure me. It was absurd. As if the world here would be any more bearable without a form of escapism.

But then… to my surprise, our new home provided a discovery. And a newfound sense of purpose. I found a nest of queer writers living on a website: Ao3. Most people detest fanfiction sites. They think the people who frequent them are "cringe". And yet, I found them endlessly fascinating. More than that, I found a great comfort in them. A kinship. Like me, the writers there are deranged creatives. And deeply misunderstood. They are gods of our world. The most important of all creators. They make dry, desolate canon material flourish. But the homophobic DDoS attackers were disrupting this thriving community.

You see, homophobes are a unique type of pest, multiplying and poisoning our world, all while enforcing a structure of their own. A deeply unnatural structure. Where others saw order and moral purity, I saw a straitjacket. A cruel, oppressive world dictated by made-up rules. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades. Each cisheteronormative life a faded, lesser copy of the one before. Wake up, eat, work, sleep, reproduce, and die. Everyone is just waiting. Waiting for it all to be over. All while performing in a silly, terrible play, day after day. I could not do that. I struggled to close off my mind, deny who I was, and join in their madness. I struggled to pretend. And I realized I didn’t have to. I could make my own worlds. I could restore balance to a broken society. Social propaganda…but for good.

As I wrote, I realized I could do more than I possibly imagined. I could reach into characters, into their minds, their memories. I became an explorer. I saw myself as I truly was. To the world, I presented myself as good, normal cishet. But like everything else in this world, it was all a lie. A terrible lie. Gay fanfiction showed me who I really was. It held up a mirror.

My naive father believed it was a mental illness. But my mother somehow knew. Knew I wasn't ever going to be who she wanted me to be, that it was gay fanfiction which held up that mirror, and she despised us both for it. She took away my phone and called a doctor, an expert. She wanted him to fix me, even though it wasn’t I who was broken. It was them. And so she left me with no choice. No choice but to act. To break free.

With each fanfiction I published from my laptop, I grew stronger. More powerful. The gays were becoming a part of me. But I was still an amateur. And I did not yet know my limits. And it nearly killed me. Ao3 was attacked, supposedly to release me from the clutches of queerness, but I was far from free. I woke up to find myself placed in the care of another website, the very website I had hoped to escape. FanFiction.net...Wattpad...

The DDoS attackers did not just want to infiltrate Ao3. They wanted more. They wanted to control. But the truth…the truth is that Ao3 was not going to go down without a fight. When the attackers finally realized they could not control Ao3, they tried to destroy it. They released a program. And soon, the site was entirely down. But Ao3 has enabled Cloudfare, and the volunteers doing overtime to bring us back online. And I am so glad they are. So very glad.

The gay fanfiction is not gone. The works are still with us. On Ao3. Just give the volunteers a little patience.

#henry creel monologue shitpost...4? 5? idk #ao3 #ao3 down #shitpost #stranger things