#the thing is i live in denial

[heliumcake]

i just caught myself thinking “god byler is so sad and complicated i’m starting to miss reddie” as if byler isn’t the ship that actually has a possibility of being endgame and as if richie and eddie didn’t wait three decades to get the courage to confess to each other only for eddie to just fucking die without anything actually happening between them

#the thing is i live in denial #so in my mind reddie stay always teenagers and they live happily ever after #while with byler i just stick to the canon that gets depressing sometimes ngl #i also feel like reddies relationship was way more lighthearted between them #even though richie was head over heels #like they didn’t have all that drama in their dynamic #revisiting clips of them just makes me go :) #reddie #byler

[mostcheery]

finished rewatching st4, somebody kill me

#stranger things #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie #steddie fanart #i’m tired so i drew them sleeping #tired and living in denial

[jordblod]

ok so how many confessional bathroom scenes are coming my way?? be honest with me. i'm so serious is revealing personal facts while pissing the core of all hilson lore?? is that what this is? is this the narrative theme that will haunt me 'til the end of time bc it sure seems like it!!! any chance that i'll get taken out the back and mercifully shot in the head like a farmers dog at some point in all this??

#what IS it with faggy repressed middle-aged men and pissing what IS IT!!!!!! why is piss=feelings?? why is pissing=intimacy??? #ok i'm pretty sure i know why but like whyyyyy #i'm in the denial/acceptance sweet spot where they're just. the same thing #guess we'll just have to wade trough piss and shit together for the rest of our lives huh guys:)))) #hilson #hatecrimes md #house md #james wilson #gregory house

[canisalbus]

Is that canon!?! Was Machete just really naive/didn't really understand the implications of his relationship to Vasco? Did his mentor ever find out about them or discuss such things with him? I assume bc he didn't have parents, he kinda didn't get educated on sex or anything. Was it a big shock to realize he was "sinning"?

.

#eh I was just exaggerating it for comedy because the page was so unintentionally funny and fitting #he might've been a little bit naive but was painfully aware he was in a relationship with a man and that it was forbidden #his mentor was all about asceticism and mortification and extreme self-denial #and had drilled it into his head that practically all romantic feelings let alone sex were foolish and sinful and should be shunned #so his feelings about the whole thing were complicated but in the end Vasco was more important #not to sound corny #but there was a hole in his heart that he had desperately tried to fill with god that never seemed to care about him #and once he got some of that love he had been aching for #from another living person #he had to do what it takes to make room for that in his belief system #how could such a tender fulfilling and healing thing be wrong #answered #anonymous #his mentor did eventually find out about them and wasn't very happy about it #to put it mildly #but by that point Machete had managed to mostly inch his way out from under his heel #he was graduating and getting ordained and wouldn't be going back to Naples #if it were up to him he'd never want to see him again

[pocketsizedquasar]

TPOC-Prioritized writings on anti-transmasculinity / transandrophobia

transandrophobia / anti-transmasculinity are both theories that have been spearheaded primarily by trans poc, particularly Black transmascs and transfemmes.

unfortunately, as with Everything created by queer and trans poc, particularly Black queer ppl, white trans ppl (regardless of gender, and regardless of whether they "believe" in this form of oppression or not) have coopted these theories and dominated these conversations, such that both "sides" of the "discourse" are divorced entirely from the racial connotations in which these theories were created, and the ways in which they were created specifically as an intervention against white feminism, and to highlight the ways multiple marginalizations affect the marginalization of masculinity. these are theories that explicitly interact with and can only be understood in conjunction with transmisogyny, as well as other oppressions like racism and misogynoir.

*"anti-transmasculinity" as a term and theory was coined by Black trans folks (some of whom's writings are linked below), and is specifically a theory within the context of Black transfeminism antiBlackness, and transmisogynoir, and cannot be divorced from that context. i try be very intentional about my use of the terms 'anti-transmasculinity' and 'transandrophobia' in different places here, because i do not want to dilute the former’s very particular context.

anyway, here's a list of miscellaneous writings on the subjects, with a priority for collecting writing from trans poc (not all of the authors are tpoc, but this list was intended to prioritize tpoc voices). the intention of this is not to be a be-all end-all on the subject, nor exalt any one of these individuals or pieces as exclusively ~correct~ or whatever, but to combat the whitewashed nature of these discussions online, and raise awareness to the myriad of people speaking on this subject. (nor do i claim to speak for any of them, or claim that any of them speak for me. i tried to make sure i didn't platform blatant racists, zionists, transmisogynists, or other bigots, but i'm not pretending to be 100% accurate about that.)

they aren't in any particular order (except the first one, which i think is an extremely foundational text for anti-transmasculinity theory as delineated by its creators, within the context of antiblackness and transmisogyny, and necessary reading to understand anti-transmasculinity as a theory). I tried to group all the links from the same authors together.

This is a non-exhaustive list! I will likely come back and add more writings as I find them. please feel free to recommend to me any works to include (including your own! especially if you yourself are a Black trans person or a trans POC).

Now with an Archived Read-more Link!

Racial-Class Paternalism and the Trojan Horse of Anti-transmasculinity by Nsámbu Za Suékama. if you read nothing else from this list, read this.

“But even as TME struggles escape the mainstream imagination, they persist, and are often both fueling and being fueled by the war on trans women and transfeminine people. Nothing makes this clearer than in how a Western binary system triangulates that war with Anti-transmasculinity. This is why I say that Anti-transmasculinity is a Trojan horse for Transmisogyny. Like the wooden horse in the Greek myth, it might not seem like what it is, for its actual contents and character are invisible, but at the heart of it, there is a violent campaign going on that is key to how the West aims to lay seige to its civilizational "enemies." And, like the walls of the city of Troy, materialist transfeminism has fortified the opposition to Western domination, in such a way that to overcome the stronghold requires a new strategy for the Man, one that follows up the open and vicious attacks on TMA people with a different, more hidden form of warfare.”

“today’s gender paternalism frames any manhood and masculine embodiment outside of (western) cisheteronormativity as not just biologically illegitimate but also the result of a barbaric threat to civilization. And who typically figures as the face of that barbarism but the Black trans woman? Materialist transfeminism has to theorize Anti-transmasculinity.”

"Non-Men", maGes, and Black Masculinities by genderfugitive / disrupthehuman

One such argument, which is really a collection of arguments but can be consolidated into one, is that trans men are attempting to take a place alongside cis men in the hierarchy of patriarchy. In other words, while they may not have been so before naming themselves as trans men, they are aspiring to be oppressors. This employs a number of rhetorical devices that I have identified before including the idea that trans men are “betraying” cis womanhood and therefore should be seen as threats unless they act as footsoldiers for transmisogyny. The problem with this is that it treats trans manhoods as embodiments that exist as something which merely aspires to be cis manhood.

"For Those Seeking Fight or Flight: Black Trans*feminist Nihilism" / primer on transmisogynoir by genderfugitive / disrupthehuman (not about anti-transmaculinity specifically (though it does come up), but a very good + important read on Black transfeminism & transmisogynoir, so I'm including it)

anti-transmasculinity needs its own theorizing outside of general "transphobia" by genderfugitive / disrupthehuman

anti-transmasculinity & antiblackness inherently linked (& another) both by genderfugitive / disrupthehuman

There is a hidden epidemic of violence against transmasculine people by Orion Rodriguez

a thread master post linking to multiple threads about anti transmasculinity by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

a thread on anti-transmasculinity as an epistemic injustice (translated) originally by magicspeedwagon in French; English translation by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

Not transmasc invisibility, but erasure by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

Girlboy Boygirl Blues - antitransmasculinity as a denial of individual history & more by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

"irl we just kiss" - ‘transmasc vs transfem’ discourse & reactionary ‘boys vs girls’ politics in trans spaces by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

transmascs & being treated as predatory by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

transmasc mental health statistics by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

violent anti-transmasculine hate crimes by Salem L. Void / thewarmvoid

thread on examples of systemic anti-transmasculinity by magicspeedwagon

a thread on anti-transmasculinity and its erasure by storyjunkie

anti transmasculinity & transmisogyny and the degendering of Black people by afrodykee

anti transmasculinity & transmisogyny cannot be theorized in opposition to each other by afrodykee

white transfeminism's anti-transmasculinity by afrodykee

Black trans people & erasure of TPOC voices from the trans community by thatspookyagent

transmasculine nonwhite expereince by thatspookyagent

trans men being silenced by thatspookyagent

queer POC being pushed out of conversations by thatspookyagent

cis women's harm to trans men by novascotioducktoller w/ addition about TMOC by thatspookyagent

medical violence in anti transmasculinity by Caleb / sethpuertoluna

example of medical anti transmasculinity by Dominick / transguyenergy

response to inclusion of a trans man in an ad (thread) by Dominick / transguyenergy

anti-transmasculinity around periods by Dominick / transguyenergy

anti-transmasculinity towards pregnant trans men by Dominick / transguyenergy

transitioning as a transmasc of color by gendercriminals

white (cis) women & racist transandrophobia by dead-lavender-society

transandrophobia as an indigenous trans man by petrichorvoices

examples of transandrophobia by transvermin

the “lost lesbian” narrative & antitransmasculinity by vaguefiend

cis women & transandrophobia by vaguefiend

intersectionality & transandrophobia by visible-schizo-spectrum

more transandrophobia from cis women by cock-holliday

tl;dr : there’s LOTS of theory and discussions out there abt anti-transmasculinity, transandrophobia, how these things relate to other forms of transphobia, how it interacts with other marginalizations, most especially race, and the ways in which it affects transmascs. this information is everywhere. it’s out there. y’all (white ppl) are just refusing to engage with it.

#trans #lgbtq #queer #transphobia #transandrophobia #anti transmasculinity #transmisogyny #racism #long post #quasartalks #been compliling this for ages but i think it's finally at a point where i feel comfortable posting it #like i said though it is very much subject to change! i would love to add more things to this #it is extremely shitty that discussions on antitransmasculinity and transandrophobia have been dominated on here by racist yt ppl and their #token trans poc that they so clearly are just using as a shield against when ppl call them out on aforementioned racism. #anyway. dont bother clowning on this post i will just block <3 #so much of this 'discourse' boils down to: transmascs and trans men (esp transmascs of color) saying: 'hey i experience this thing' #and other ppl (esp white ppl!) going 'no you don't.' it's so blatant lmao #it's just the complete denial of our Authority to talk about our own experiences. we are not trusted to be authorities on our own lives. #which. where have i heard that before. smells like racism. smells like misogyny. #also bc ppl can't read: none of this means transmascs have it worse than transfemmes; that transfemmes oppress transmascs; or that these #-experiences ONLY happen to transmascs. those are all extremely bad faith readings of these discussions. #AND ALSO to the (especially white) transmascs who also can't read and take these discussions as excuses to be racist & transmisogynist: #we cannot combat transandrophobia & anti transmasculinity without combating transmisogyny. they are linked. #anyway. good night

[mike-milkyway]

Sanji might be the one in denial for some time, but we have to remember who in the relationship has never called the other by their name. Who isn't going too settle down for anyone. Who is emotionally eliterate. Who isn't the romantic. Who has one goal on their life and one goal only. Who is afraid of loosing people he cares about again so he makes himself stronger as well as emotionally detached to keep them safe.

#is it ringing any bells? #zosan #black leg sanji #roronoa zoro #one piece #sanzo #one piece live action #sanji even in a battle with his internalized zorophobia he came around faster to accepting his feelings because he's a hopeless romantic #i only took the live action as a confirmation of zoro being not in denial but in bargaining #he's not confused #he's angry that it happened in the first place #someone get this man a therapist #the two need some serious sessions to stop repressing their emotions #and some zoro fans are not helping #they both would die for each other but that's not a good thing guys

[saltynovember]

Never rlly cared about One Piece this whole time (like I literally grew up with the series and read it midway once but never felt the need to actually indulge in it). Never gave a second thought when Netflix announced they're putting their hands on live adaptation. Until earlier this month cuz suddenly everyone on jpn Twitter and na Tumblr won't stop talking about the show the cast the easter eggs the sets the Mackenyu. Especially Mackenyu. Watched the show to check if its that good (plus the gifs looked promising). Now? I'm in a process of accepting my newfound obsession. I'm searching for a new gifset every hour, looking for every new piece of fanart, trying to figure out the cheapest way to read 1000+ manga chapters which doesn't involve piracy(ha), and...I'm shipping Luffy and Zoro. I'm shipping OP characters...and I'm a fully grown adult...I prefer Luffy as a top and Zoro as bottom btw

and its all because the show totally nailed it.

#still in shock #shipping op characters was the last thing I expected of myself #and here I am??? still in mild denial #oh well #zolu #luzo #opla #one piece live action

[dreamaboutwhathappens]

it’s interesting to see how taylor has always imagined her ideal partner as being courageous (“headfirst fearless,” “this love is brave and wild,” “you walked in wearing a football helmet and said okay let’s talk,” “don’t blame me love made me crazy if it doesn’t you ain’t doing it right,” “standing broad-shouldered next to her was a love that was really something….”) and how i think at first she thought that joe simply being willing to be with her felt courageous but then as she grew she realized that it wasn’t enough of that feeling because he wasn’t always standing broad-shouldered next to her, only when it was convenient for him. and that’s not fearless. that’s just doing what’s easiest

#i’ve been thinking a lot recently about love languages #and how not only are there the five that everyone talks abouf #but like. for me. i experience love through excitement. i’m excited about this! and if you love me then you should be too! #and how i show others i love them is by being excited about their lives snd interests #so i’ve been thinking lately that another love language (or maybe currency) is an emotion #and i think for taylor it has always been fearlessness #because she’s SUCH an innovator. about everything #her career and her work and her personal life and the industry and and and #so i think part of love for her is the enjoyment of trying new things!! and exploring how that can improve your life! #and i think that’s what she’s talking about all those times #and also why sweet nothing is on the denial playlist. oops. #(what she originally ran home to him for was the love that made her crazy. not sweet nothing.) #ttpd #random thoughts with grace

[rufflebatz]

YESTERDAYS TRISTAN DOODLES LETS GOOO

eats himt he fuck up i dont know what i was doing but i wish he was normal for once

also a silly doodle i had to make because i was brainrotting the fuck up ASHFAKJSDAS i would die for them do you hear me i wish i could bite their heads off i bet they taste like the most expensive chocolate and almonds

also rushed haurchefant doodles because i was testing a new brush .. felt weird !

#im not normal about them #i hope they have the best life ffxiv can offer #lives in vault denial #tristan posting :D #ffxiv #ff14 #final fantasy xiv #ffxiv oc #wol #ffxiv wol #tagging this with wol things despite triste not being a wol i am spreading misinformation #haurchefant #haurchefant greystone #haurchewol #wolchefant

[carlyleandco]

I need Artist!Lucy next season, just her venting her frustration at Lockwood by drawing and having her floor littered with paper and pencils

#Complete Fiction make it happen please!!! #it’s one thing from the books i need next season #I’m just living in a world of delusion and denial until it actually does get picked up somewhere #l&co. netflix #lockwood and co #save Lockwood and Co

[cak31ssuperi04]

Henna not being back in any capacity in the second Mariposa movie gives me two impressions:

1). untapped potential for a 3rd movie where we get Henna reformation or some such.

2).

Mariposa: I wonder how Henna's doing out there.

Willa: ..... what if she's dead 😧

Mariposa: 😨

Honestly it's entirely possible that she IS dead; a lot of her control over the Skeezites hinged on the promise of invading Flutterfield, and we can see their patience wearing thin throughout the movie. It's possible her failure to follow through would be the final straw, and that her lights would only be able to carry her so far when her entire army is against her. I do like the potential for another sequel to tie up that loose end though, in no small part because "dramatic revenge declaration followed by offscreen death that's never mentioned" is just kind of anticlimactic. Even if it's been a decade and that ship has sailed at this point. We could've had it all. Two fairy trilogies. Also consider: The Skeezites don't seem to be a threat--or even present at all-- in Fairy Princess. They're not once brought up unless in past tense. Regellius brings up Flutterfield defeating them when that's not necessarily how it happens in the first movie(which she does point out but focuses more on the method than the outcome so it's still unclear). Yeah they succeed in driving them off, but if Mariposa's quest or the fact that they've been terrorizing the kingdom for centuries says anything, it's that there are probably way more hanging around than Henna's immediate army. I'm imagining a midquel where she manages to get the Skeezites to hold out for a little longer so she can get her Revenge Plan in, and Flutterfield deals with them for good.

#My biggest thing at the moment would just be that Mariposa specified that it never came down to a fight #so I'd have to consider a Non-Fighty way to do that. Big magic. #She does have the flutterflower so I guess traveling wouldn't be that much of a danger but that gift was framed as more for #sentimental value than for protection. #Bringing Marabella back to life restored flutterfield to its status quo but didn't get rid of the skeezites or anything. #And like yeah they have the thistleburst lights now so maybe transportation is no big deal #maybe the skeezites stopped hunting butterfly fairies when they realized they had some form of defense. #But they're such a non-presence it's still just weird. Walk with me here. #It's still been too long to bring the series back but. Mariposa 1.5 where we find out where Rayla and Rayna and Zinzie went #pieceofcake.txt #cakeasks #Was so deep in Henna Denial when I found out she wasn't going to be the villain in Fairy Princess that my mind just instinctively went #'Oh wow she's aged a lot since the 1st movie' #In my mind if she survives she could maybe eventually get a redemption but she wouldn't continue living in Flutterfield #cakeart #The dialogue for the image was heavily paraphrased but inmy defense my internet has been supreme dogwater lately #So I was working off memory at like 4 am

[phenikas]

#rhack #handsome jack #rhys strongfork #borderlands #tales from the borderlands #tftbl #fanart #my art #I put my whole being into this drawing can you tell #yes I live in denial and think that they would work things out if Rhys brought Jack back #also look at them #he's telling Jack about his day #also they do secret couple's therapy cause these bitches sure are traumatized!!! #DeepConnectionsAU

[pansyfemme]

yeah so regarding the shit ive been posting about lately: i am safe, i am okay, im staying with family for a little while until its safe to return to school and move dorms. i appriciate all the support and its been a really tough few weeks, but im really trying my best to keep my head up. i love you all.

#im very lucky in that my grandmother lives in a city that i can get to entirely through public transport #its still like a two hour commute with switching trains and stuff but its something i can do immediatly so i was able to drop everything as #soon as i made the descion with my parents and therapist. #this is kind of the best possible choice in keeping myself safe. its just also perhaps the scariest and hardest option. its not the worst #case scenario its the nightmare scenario. im still wrapping my head around all this #i was pretty far in denial about just how bad things were but this is really all i can do

[arolesbianism]

Some very lazy concept doodles for my swap au Wendy

#keese draws #don’t starve together #dst #dst Wendy #wendy carter #I need to make a tag for this au but I’m lazy #anyways sorry if the scribbles are incomprehensive idk what I was on abt either tbh #well ok most of it is just mechanics I’ve talked abt before but yknow #oh and the bottom right doodle is abt how wickerbottom’s wereghost form performs the haunt action on hauntable objects with higher chances #of whatever effects meaning that given enough trees technically you could use her for living log farming #and due to wendy’s fuel mechanic living logs are quite valuable since they’re one of the few things that effect sanity when burned #they also slow sanity drain significantly when burned which is nice for the guy who doesn’t have a lot of sanity options #wurts are also a good living log soruce but I didn’t want to design her rn so rip wurt #she’s a lil baby tree guard sorta #well she basically just Is a tree guard but with a irredecent gem in her head #webber created her because he was lonely rip #he also was the one who accidentally got wendy killed and then made wendy robot body #wendy predictably has a lot of angsting to do abt that especially since it came with significant memory loss #and abby doesn’t die in this au so she’s also there and is deep in denial lol

[mushroomjuice]

The beach scene changed something in my brain chemistry I think

#lmk spoilers #yea the special was ok /j #its like the only thing i can think abt fuckkk 😭 #anyway live laugh redson. me in denial abt how little she was in this season. plz bring them back or i will start crying #lmk art #lego monkie kid #red son #lmk red son #mush.draw🌈 #traditional art

[cmnzoq]

How vol2 actually ended

#steddie #steveddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #stranger things #st4 vol2 #doodle #shitpost #i live in denial