#their entire lives are just Suffering

[space-writes]

vivien 13 and 21, vizeath 7 and 22!

HI FOX! you asked about the perfect duo of Fucked Up Little Guys <3

(send me asks and make my OCs suffer)

What's their relationship to their body? Self esteem? Self image?

Vivien is Not Doing Great with that and you know it :p

His self image is very fucked up, because a) dysphoria and b) the more physical changes HRT gives him, the more he thinks he looks like his brother, and that does appalling things to his sense of identity. I don’t think he really has a self image that’s him—except of course when he’s with Rainier, when he actually feels like a person outside of all of his issues.

Self esteem-wise, he might be confident (stupid) enough to stalk a guy online and break into his office, but in the real world? He can’t fucking talk to people. He doesn’t understand how, and so he just sees himself as completely inept. He doesn’t think he’s worth anything. Which is part of why it’s so easy for Rainier to get him to do whatever he wants. (don’t outsource your self worth to a self-absorbed egotist, kids)

What's their relationship to sex? Modesty?

Complicated. I’m still debating whether he’s had much sexual experience between [redacted] and getting with Rainier, but honestly I’m leaning towards ‘not much’ because he just has. So many issues with his body that it makes being sexual hard. This is compounded by the fact that he is relentlessly horny. Boy wants to fuck, unfortunately for boy, he can’t stand to look at himself naked let alone let other people see and touch him that way.

His modesty is entirely tied up in ‘i don’t want to remember i even have a body’. He doesn’t dare to expose himself because of how other people will see him.

What's their pain tolerance?

Vizaeth can take a frankly unnerving amount of pain. You can make him scream but he’s the type to grab your wrist and shove the knife deeper. Hurt makes him feel real and alive. Especially if it’s Pharaun dishing it out.

He’ll power through pain if he’s angry as well. He’s done it in a few fics (when Viconia broke his nose, and when people were clawing at him when he was trying to stop Merdax harassing Veryan, for two)—he knows and understands pain intimately.

Do they enjoy the taste of blood?

Entirely too much.

claws taglist: @belovedviolence @foxboyclit @coven-archives @noblebs @mjjune @revenantlore @sarandipitywrites @k--havok @asterhaze @verba-writing @indecentpause @bootstrapparadoxed (ask to be +/-)

#writeblr #ask games #make my oc suffer #wip: claws #obsession fic blogging #c: vivien webb #c: vizaeth thaezyr #wretched little blorbos #their entire lives are just Suffering #me and lolth using viz as a chewtoy

[rustedhills]

Disney, releasing Wish: "so it's all about legacy--the new generation surpassing the old, overcoming the evils perpetuated by them, relinquishing singular power... and there's an old man in a tower, uh... animal sidekick, i guess..., ah... magic...?

Miyazaki, just out of frame, sledgehammer raised:

#the boy and the heron #not tagging wish 'cause i'm being a little acidic #this isn't to be negative in the slightest--I really respect both films--but it's interesting to see how visceral boy+H gets with its story #what evils have to be rejected and what they represent--and how characters and the world suffer from those evils--as well as how the whole #'rejecting' part goes. in terms of animation powerhouses discussing their legacies - disney and miyazaki both - I find it interesting that #one makes a pretty safe and nostalgic movie about imagination and dreams; the other is a long trudge through the land of the dead. #b+h is a hard watch - and a look at the legacy of a man questioning his whole purpose in the world - after his cultural touchstones #have long passed by. Mahito needs to understand his grief to keep living--but if he drowns in it he'll just continue the cannibalistic and #violent world of his granduncle. how the hell do you make art when the trauma of your entire life has colored it forever? How can anyone? #maybe after a while... it's time to detonate that damn tower and keep living. #this is to say #if you have enough money to make whatever you want #Make It Fucking Count

[currentlyonstandbi]

#I AM FINE . SO TOTALLY FINE AND OKAY #if you thought i was done with the sw quote posts . think again #the gambit series was karen miller taking up a steel chair and pummelling me with it #it is just a non-stop emotional roller-coaster of 'hey what if we reminded you that at his heart anakin was a passionate and caring person?' #'what if we just constantly bombarded you with the fact anakin empathises with the suffering of others because he knows and lived suffering' #'what if we reminded you that he never moved on from the trauma inflicted by the cruelty of a childhood spent in slavery!!' #and that is on top of him and obi wan being so two halves of a whole the entire time that it's almost overwhelming #anyway . normal again #star wars #sw tcw #star wars the clone wars #clone wars gambit #anakin skywalker

[aroaceleovaldez]

Every description about Nico (especially the canon ones) describing him as “cold” can personally fight me. Nico is jaded, yes, and often closed-off and sometimes stand-offish and defensive but he is not "cold”. He cares SO SO SO MUCH about EVERYONE. He loves and cares with his entire heart constantly and that is a core part of his character. He doesn’t often make public shows of his affection but he takes care to be kind when it matters and doesn’t hide that he does care (usually, the only exception really being him being in the closet, but even then he only hid his crush specifically and not the fact that Percy is important to him). He fine with hugging his friends in front of a crowd and will sit with strangers at a campfire just so they’re not alone. I mean, heck, he’s an extrovert! We know this! He actively seeks out people and gets lonely very quickly and easily! If he can’t talk to living people he will chat with the dead! That’s how much he thrives on being social!

The only time Nico has ever been actively “cold” was the couple of months between TTC and BoTL when he was actively mourning Bianca. Nico is not “cold.” He loves so much and he does show it, just in his own way.

#pjo #riordanverse #nico di angelo #analysis #brought to you by: I saw a blurb for TSATS that said something like ''Will melted through Nico's icy heart/cold exterior'' #and it made me want to tear something apart with my teeth because of how Blatantly Incorrect that is #like that is a disservice to both their characters. #a.) Will did not ''fix'' Nico or ''change'' him or anything. He is just a source of joy in Nico's life #TOA even explicitly acknowledges that them dating did not ''fix'' Nico and that Nico is actively getting outside help for his trauma/etc #and b.) Nico is not cold!!! He has never been a cold person!!! there's a reason ''emo'' is short for ''emotional!'' #Nico's character is ENTIRELY DRIVEN BY LOVE AND CARE FOR OTHER PEOPLE #yes he's jaded but he's only jaded in a way of being afraid of letting people into his life because he's afraid to lose them #not that it stops him because it sure does keep happening anyways because SURPRISE. HE LOVES TOO MUCH. #HE LITERALLY CANNOT HELP HIMSELF HE LOVES PEOPLE SO STRONGLY AND SO DEEPLY HE CANNOT STAY JADED ABOUT IT #he just keeps going ''Okay *THIS* time I won't let this person into my life to risk heartbreak- AW FUCK I'VE DONE IT AGAIN'' #SO MUCH of his character is entirely driven by ''I care about people. I dont want them to suffer what i have suffered or suffer at all'' #like really the only times we ever see Nico being actively angry/snappy at people #is like a.) He is either actively being majorly hurt or has just recently been majorly hurt (Bianca's death. Being outed. etc) #b.) Someone is hurting others is going to bring harm to others (Calling out his dad in TLO. Killing Bryce) #or c.) Someone is doubting or calling into question his lived experiences (Basically any scene where people say he's pushing people away) #other than that Nico actually tends to give people way more lenience than necessary. he will put up with a LOT #and he won't even call people out on it or hold a grudge about it (i see you alleged Nico's fatal flaw. you're wrong) #unless it's like. something A Lot Of People Do Often (ex: push him away/exclude him/etc) #at which point he might be like. mildly upset about it but not much more then that. which is just a normal measured response. #anyways Nico's not cold he's just autistic

[moeblob]

I have fallen down the anime sports hole and landed on Eyeshield 21 and I'm so sorry I'm adopting all these kids.

(I was actually going to like. Hold off posting my silly sports anime doodles until after commissions but no I wanna share them now. It's hard out here being me who thrives off interactions and this show is like "hey what if we gave you lots of interactions and also a secret identity for MORE interactions".)

#eyeshield 21 #seijuro shin #sena kobayakawa #haruto sakuraba #ichiro takami #you might look at this and go Salmon please explain why you're drawing fanart for a football anime #and i cannot actually explain #not pictured is my undying love and adoration for the Ha-Ha brothers because they're great #im only on ep28 but please i care for them so much #me watching one say that a girl is his type: OH NICE I LOVE THIS I WILL SUPPORT YOU #me watching one suffer a fear of airplanes while on an airplane: SON YOU ARE DYING PLEASE NO KEEP LIVING #i have typed so many essays on discord to two people about the emotions this anime has given me #and its such a silly anime with funky moves with funny animations for the moves #but i actually really like it ??? like yes its about hs people playing football #but the fact the main character is an underdog #joining a team of two people thus making the entire team of now three an underdog #who then continue to grow with MORE underdogs being recruited #its actually very impressive to watch the characters grow alongside sena #like they do actively show the kids interacting in various ways and its a delight #the anime is just a bunch of good boys playing a game and having a good time bettering themselves #and i say this like im an expert when im still just ep28

[a-caterpillars-world]

you're gonna be ok, kid

don't tag as ship

#adventure time #fionna and cake #fern the human #twos art #digital art #you dont understand fern as a character makes me so emotional #his life was so fucking miserable. he was constantly suffering or distressed or being used #he didnt know a single moment of peace in his entire life up until only a few minutes before Dying #and we go to fionna and cake and. hes Okay. hes living a normal life seemingly unburdened by all the problems of ooo #shes seemingly got very little wrong besides nightmares Of That Past Life and its just. #even if your life was miserable the universe still loves you. there is a world where you can be ok. there is a world where you are happy #even if it seems impossible you are not doomed. fern might be with dj flame!!! she is loved!!! she isnt alone anymore #isnt it so lovely that even if it isnt Home Universe Fern there is still a world where he gets to be at least happier than what was

[swagging-back-to]

every single time you stress out about your taxes, or your rent, or your debt, or your mortgage, or your car payment, or your medical bills, or climate change, or your stress over having to work and just do basic things like eating----- remember that if you have children, *you are directly responsible** for them feeling all of that suffering and stress and pain when they grow up.

#anti natalism #anti natalist #antinatalism #antinatalist #i genuine sit down and wish harm upon the woman who birthed me every single day for the fact she chose to keep me just to put me in foster #she did not need to make me or my four siblings. #she chose to. #she lived 3 minutes away BY FOOT to a planned parenthood. #she got rid of all her kids immediately after birthing them #she is nothing more than a factory to pop out suffering. #and i fucking hate her for that. #i would wish harm upon my sperm donor too but he already died #to think all ofthis couldve been avoided if she just did not keep me or god forbid used a goddamn condom #my entire life has been suffering. not even just with adult responsibilities #although those are definitely making everything worse #as in. im about to die on the streets homeless in a month or so. #bc i was born into poverty and abuse #all couldve been avoided if i was just never born

[adahlenan]

        “ what you are, I was; what I am, you will be ”

#FFXIV #Gposes #my characters #OC: Lev Dagnyr #OC: Leucothea #endwalker spoilers #shadowbringers spoilers #Azem #listen you do not know what a grip this memento mori has on me ok. i have it tattooed on my body #i love it so much through a lens of reincarnation and the cycle of the burden of hero being passed on by you and the yous yet to come #you WILL be a hero. and you will suffer for it greatly and only then will you understand what a heavy weight those before you have borne. #and one day you will be free. either through retirement or peace. and those heroes who come after you will learn it just as you have #a warning. a curse. a solemn reminder. #and i love it with the idea of seeing yourself in azem. a hero. someone burdened with responsibility as the world ends. just like you. #Lev not feeling worthy of being even a SHARD of Azem and struggling with living up to that expectation after scrutiny by Emet-Selch #and it affecting his ENTIRE mental wellbeing from then on. Azem could do this. right? why can't he? why is he so weak? but... #dw he gets over it but it takes him like all of endwalker to do so. #hence the locations of Amaurot (dungeon) and the final stop of Endwalker #anyways!!!!!!!! #i love simplicity i love one panel gposes im going back to what i know best LMFAO

[hungerpunch]

i've thought a lot about it and i have concluded that parents just shouldn't Be Like That about their kids doing sports, you know?

#this post brought to u by my inexplicable picking up of abby wambach's 2016 memoir #(who never even LOVED soccer btw?!?!?) #kids who grow up to view their bodies as transactional pawns and their pain & suffering as currency to buy love with #too many parents are too fucking intense about sports. please relax. god. that's a baby with an undeveloped brain be NICE to it! #yeah ur kid can love a sport. but you know what most of all? #most of all ur kid wants you. your love and your attention. #and what if ur kid DOESN'T love the sport they're just GOOD at it? #you need to reinforce that you will love your children even when they're not good at stuff so they don't end up committing their lives #to things they hate just to please you! #idk maybe we should just do something CRAZY like ban child athletics IDK i feel CRAZY about this!!! #i've just read too many stories about how parents ruin their child's life and destroy their sense of self with SPORT. ahhh!!! #i think all professional athletes are fucked up in an entirely preventable way!!!! #hear me out what if: if the sport cannot be performed past the age of 25-30 then it should be gutted and revamped #so that u can't START playing it professionally until that age! #and whatever it takes to make that feasible for 30+ SHOULD JUST BE DONE. #oh god i'm in a spiral about what we have been conditioned to expect athletes to do for our entertainment. #driveby post

[dapurinthos]

john jackson miller how dare you disparage my boy.

two three whole mentions of sifo in this book! but the second one makes me want to lie down.

FIRST OF ALL:

why you talking like he's dead, mace. this is 33bby. he should still be alive. do you know how much this messes up the timeline? (specifically, my timeline, where valorum is just 'aw, fuck.' and calls in every favour he has with the jedi high council to get them to do things during the last week of his chancellorship, resulting in qui-gon & obi-wan to naboo without the senate knowing and sifo himself off to the pykes w/silman before the council calls him back. i'm going to have to do some major fanfic surgery here)

leland chee get back here i need to ask you pertinent questions and you deleted your twitter. don't make me muscle my way into your instagram dms (i won't because there are probably at least 3 people from wookieepedia on this).

anyway, the second part!

'he was exceptionally focused on the future of the order'

'he was always in a big damn hurry. like the republic would end if he didn't swell the ranks.'

... guess what.

'sometimes those he brought us were not even viable candidates.'

... sifo what did you see happening to those children. did you see sidious project harvester-ing them?

#keeping up with the skywalkers #star wars: the living force #star wars: the living force spoilers #we suffer and we suffer and we learn #yes i went and skimmed the entire book for these sections #now i'm going to go actually read it #though some parts i did speed-read instead of just skimmed #like the part where yaddle is on a speeder and someone thinks she's a child

[itspileofgoodthings]

I know I’m talking to an empty theater here but the writing on that episode of Lark Rise to Candleford where Robert loses his tools (and so the means to feed his family) and is facing destitution and then runs into the young guy who’s in love with his daughter and then uses the moment not to take out all his angst and anger on Fisher but to ask him if he’s ready for all that marriage and staying and giving up his life on the road actually means thus forcing Fisher to admit that he isn’t ready for it—-

!!!!!!!!

#and it’s just so brilliant because we’ve watched Robert suffer so deeply the entire episode #because of how crushing the weight of parental responsibility and poverty can be!!! #and he sees this guy that loves his daughter but has no understanding of the life that that love could and should and will lead him to #if he chooses to stay. this guy who’s just living in the moment and in the feelings of the moment but whose love is not strong enough #to endure the sacrifice that would be required of. well. ordinary married life in a small town! #and Robert uses all his wisdom to force him to admit that he’s not ready for it and doesn’t want it #and then it gets even more brilliant! because after Fisher leaves and Laura is heartbroken and angry #he presents her with the same reality/question but from HER side #her being like ‘how dare you make him not stay’ and Robert being like ‘and did I force you not to go with him?’ #‘were YOU ready to give up your whole life and world for him? to make it work? or did you want your life AND him’ #it’s the have your cake and eat it too truth in this case. their lives didn’t fit together and their love was real in a way #but not real enough to weld their different lives together without both of them hating each other in the end #idk it’s just BRILLIANT and I love it so much #because it unfolds so truthfully and all of the pieces of the story fold into each other so that it a) hits exactly as hard as it should #and b) reveals the truths of things so clearly and so accurately #Robert is so annoying so much of the time but he was a fatherly icon in this ep #lark rise to candleford

[bisexualelphie]

julie about daniel: "my heart is racing, the world nearly stops, i lose control when i'm around you" "could there be a future for something between the two of us?" "our chemistry is explosive" "my body's going crazy, i don't know what's wrong with me" "i don't care about logic, i want the magic of love"

daniel about julie: "how it hurts to know that the end came so suddenly and i didn't have time to prove to you that i could be your greatest secret" "could it be that if i close my eyes, you will appear here?" "the closer i get, the less i can bear the fact that i can't touch you" "i want to see your smile and remember you here. you are the sun to me"

daniel and julie when félix and martim confront them about these lyrics: honestly, i don't remember; i was probably fucked up. yeah, i was crazy back then, uheaughhsh---

#julie e os fantasmas #julie e os fantasmas julie #julie e os fantasmas daniel #julie spinelli #juliel #julie e os fantasmas martim #julie e os fantasmas félix #daniel? more like denial #no but the fact that reação quimica is an actual song from os insólitos means that the entire band plus bia saw julie write and compose #a song clearly meant for daniel by the tone and the lyrics and then watched her adamantly deny that she liked him #and félix and martim watched daniel compose the saddest most heartfelt song for julie (o que o mundo escolheu) only to never show it to her #they're so hilarious #i can't believe i've been suffering for these idiots since the age of 9 #you never forget your first ship #mine just happened to be between a living girl and a dead boy #and that's how i turned out #at least we got two kisses from the actors #julie and the phantoms #julie and the phantoms og

[riraro489]

They say that isolation is one of the worst forms of torture...

#THIS IS NOT VENT ART!!!!! this thought has just been in my head: #my story for pmd2 Darkrai is that after being attacked by a mob for accidentally causing nightmares Cresselia made him live in isolation #while she visited him from time to time Darkrai was slowly beginning to go crazy with only his thoughts to keep him company #when Cresselia abruptly stopped visiting he completely snapped. he couldn't stand the way he was living so he wanted to change it #originally he hated himself for being a monster but now he embraced that notion entirely #if he was going to be hated for simply existing then why should others be able to live peaceful and happy lives while he suffered alone? #it no longer mattered if he was a monster. Darkrai would destroy time itself and thrive in his world of darkness even if it hurt others. #anyway I just thought I could convey those feelings better if I drew this piece while tired :] #kind of glad to finally get my ideas for pmd2 Darkrai written even if its in the tags of one of my posts #if you read all of this ily /p and hope you enjoy your day or night <333 #darkrai #pmd2 #riraro's random things

[yaoianime]

Soon im rly gonna do it

#🕸️ #sui mention #< in the tags tho cuz it feels nicer to talk abt this in tags than in the post itself cuz to me posts are like talking normally but tags are #like whispering? talking you can tune out if you want but whispering is rather more voluntary to say it doesnt matter however #every single year passes and i wish i didnt live in each and every one of them i feel disconnected dissatisfied empty disappointed every day #it can be a small part of a day or a bigger but its still there clenching onto me like and never letting go im tired of it theres always a #wall between me and otyer ppl im unsure if i put it there or was it put there by other ppl but its there and even if anyone tries to reach #into it do i understand how even if close are we really far away it makes me understand just how much of an abnormality i am and how much i #cant ever be like them no matter how much i try and climb and crawl until i bleed its exhausting its maddening #almost everything i do is shaped by spite i wear one bracelet for years out of spite i dont smoke out of spite i dont shave my hands not #only because im normal abt body hair but also out of spite the more i know ppl the spiteful i get only way for me to truly like someone is #to keep them at a lenght outside that wall if they get in then theres only two choices for them to dislike me or even hate my entire being #or me to shove them back out without ever letting them get in #coworkers say im a nice kind person but im not its all just a facade to make my life easier and to suit myself im hateful but i dont believe #its entirely my fault after all they will to my face make fun of. laugh at. and hate everything of me they would see in other ppl that dont #hide it deep within like i do and then it rly hits me how different abnormal foul disgusting and unnatural i am #im hit with his every talk that goes on too long every word that keeps going every touch every expression every comment made on my behalf #its exhausting to live this way i fear im near my limit i havent reached it but who knows when i will #i sometimes dream of doing it and leaving behind a note wishing nothing but painful suffering to everyone i ever knew irl but i dont want to #do that to my best friends and my dog but who knows how long its left before the thread breaks #thats all like comment and subscribe if you personally would do me a favor by taking me out back and shooting me

[moe-broey]

*pulls out a crumpled up piece of paper*

My transfemme Fire Emblem Headcanons. Include:

> Rosado, transfemme non-binary, most likely to use neopronouns or multiple sets of pronouns (fae/faer, she/he, never let 'em know your next move)

> Forrest, has been on estrogen for years but still says "I'm a prince" if asked and insists on using he/him pronouns (may be closeted, may be in denial, may do so out of a sense of obligation, may be a case of pronouns being "indicative of but not exclusive to gender identity", may also just have an exceedingly complicated relationship with the gender)

> Loki, a shapeshifter, chooses to look Like That (and she's so based for it)

> Gullveig. Just. Everything Seidr/Heidr/Kvasir and Gullveig have going on. Is so transgender. To me

And on vibes alone

> Triandra

#fire emblem #i just think. more transfemme hcs in the world. peace and love 👍 #i'm transmasc so you can take these w a grain of salt lmfao #also. very much. just the selection of charas i'm in deepest for esp feh oc wise. #i don't have a lot of fleshed out thoughts on trans triandra aside from it's just normal actually. sometimes people are just trans. #and also. like. a lot of trans people do not/did not have easy home lives. like it just makes sense to me #which is like i don't want the trans experience to be defined by suffering but also i think that's why you should have MANY dif trans hcs #like i think rosado perfectly captures trans joy and being dedicated to advocacy and social justice #meanwhile i think. forrest is in the trenches. i'm so sorry. #also the transformation of seidr into gullveig fucks w me SO HARD. i am so insane i know #but it really does feel like a trans allegory. being outed before you were ready. before you even fully knew what it meant for yourself. #and having it fuck your entire life. like she is so transgender to me #also i think any shape shifter is trans by default. ESP if they have a 'main form' they typically present as. #loki is a titted up as wide as she is tall scantly clad goth woman. on purpose. #this is. how i feel. speaking my truth. ect ect #rosado #fe forrest #fe loki #gullveig #triandra

[very-lost-hobbit]

Seeing so many people I once respected and even adored/admired prove themselves mask off antisemites when given the chance and an "appropriate" enough reason is so incredibly heartbreaking. So many left leaning and supposedly empathetic people apparently do not hear themselves right now.

#my entire heart to the jewish community because MAN. I know it's never GREAT but the last few months have been ROUGH. #Obligatory of COURSE I care about the people suffering in Gaza too but. I should not have to qualify this post by saying that. #My empathy contains mulititudes I can care about multiple things at once. #Anyways. I can't imagine how much harder all of this in its entirety is for people actually affected by it <3 <3 <3 #also it's very easy to criticize the current Israeli administration without being antisemetic because FUCK Bibi he's an enemy to peace #just as much as Hamas is! They both suck! Hey look at that I just did it! #Wish things could hurry up and get the two state solution activists in the region have been calling for & an end to the cycle of pain. #Also. INCHERESTING how it was ''poor poor Russians they can't help where they live :('' vs ''ALL JEWS ARE COMPLICIT IN THIS ATROCITY'' #really really INTERESTING 🤔🤔🤔 (not to make everything ever about my main mantle- BUT. lol) #I also think some North Americans esp are projecting their own guilt for living on stolen land onto this conflict #but that's a different conversation #antisemitism #kat gets personal #me