#there’s so much to dissect and I’m sure so many people have done a much better job

[theindependenttrentcrimm]

I want to talk about ace Eddie so I’m going to talk about ace Eddie! this episode was absolutely delicious and I know many many people will tell me that I’m reading too much into this and it is simply what the show said: his catholic guilt. Which is compelling enough already but stick with me.

ace Eddie is so so near and dear to my heart and I enjoy analyzing his arcs and his relationships through that lens. The fact that ABC allows characters to have these candid conversations is !!!

this episode in particular is delicious in terms of ace Eddie (I’m sorry, I’m not wording this wonderfully, it’s been a very bad pain day). He initially says to Buck:

“I got here early to avoid not having sex” and yes, the reason he gives is his catholic guilt. But I also just want to pay attention to the way he was speaking about it after revealing to Buck that he was avoiding being home. He was purposefully using vague, almost immature (in the sense of the way younger people take about sex) language and justifying himself by saying that Christopher was away, so they had time to themselves so naturally… it felt very much like this was how he was supposed to be feeling and what he was supposed to doing because his son was away because they had free time, the natural conclusion to him was that they would have sex.

he also says “Marisol likes to have it in the morning” which, granted, could simply indicate that he prefers it at other times but if we look at it through the perspective of ace!Eddie indicates that they have sex when Marisol wants to rather than when Eddie wants to (if he ever broaches the subject at all). This also lines up with the way he spoke about having sex with Shannon which primarily centered around her desires and his ability to fulfill them rather than his own wants and needs. The discussion with Bobby only further solidified this. He suggests that this is simply Eddie’s reaction to moving too quickly, indicating that there was very little that he had heard about Marisol prior to her moving in. Now, and again I recognize I may be reading too much into it, but for me the way they framed Marisol moving in by opening with them having sex, it reinforces this idea that for Eddie, sex is easy and expected and there’s a natural progression of a relationship that he’s meant to follow (mentioned in his conversation with Bobby). He’s meant to have sex, enjoy sex, ask a girl to move in with him etc.

at any point in time, he could have texted Marisol or gone back to the house and simply told her that he didn’t want to have sex with her just then. If he was seriously concerned that she would be upset or ignore him, that’s a different issue entirely. However, he has so much anxiety over sex and his own role as a man in a relationship that he ignores this idea altogether. He would rather avoid her all day than face the idea of coming home and not being able to provide sex. Sex that he doesn’t even necessarily want. I also think that’s why it’s so important to his character that his restarting with Marisol wasn’t predicated on a sexual encounter but rather on his own terms. It’s the first time that we’ve seen him take the time to say ‘maybe this isn’t necessarily something I’m ready for.’ And it’s WONDERFUL to see that.

Eddie’s relationships and his relationship to sex specifically is something that is incredibly fascinating to me because it screams amatanormativity and over compensating for something you’ve been told you should want and provide. Noted, I don’t necessarily like Eddie and Marisol and I certainly don’t like Marisol’s actress (I truly hope she leaves the series soon). However, I do like what this relationship is teaching Eddie about himself. I like that he’s slowing down and taking the time to think about what he wants rather than what’s expected of him.

#t rambles #911 #911 spoilers #eddie diaz #911 marisol #ace eddie diaz #and I will die on that hill <3 #you guys I may not have totally been in love with this episode but it’s a near thing #there’s so much to dissect and I’m sure so many people have done a much better job #I loved loved loved the henren storyline (side note) they’re such wonderful parents

[butmakeitgayblog]

Can I just say I love how like, into revisiting and analysing this dumb show’s scenes you still are — with the rise in popularity of streaming (I’m sure this has something to do with it, anyway) it’s become more and more commonplace for people to consume a piece of media, enjoy it, get bored of it after a while and never touch it again after moving on to the next new thing. It’s so wholesome and refreshing to see people still be so passionate and always find something new to talk about a show that, for all many of us care, ended 8 years ago. I do move in and out of being obsessed and disinterested with the media I’ve enjoyed, but in a world where I’m constantly seeing people say “oh you’re a fan of [X]? But that’s old :/“ (mostly about something that finished like last year lol) your blog is a breath of fresh air :)

Well thank you 🥹

The thing is, I get it. I get why and how people move on to different fandoms so quickly, and I don't really think poorly of that or anything. It's been almost a decade and it's easy to fall out of love with something after so long. Hell, when you think about it, this fandom has outlived the lifespan of a lot of entire relationships people have had 🥴. People find new things to get excited over and the *gasp* feeling of finding this new /thing/ is always fun. So I do get it.

But for me, it's just not that way. It's not that simple. Not because I think I'm somehow special (maybe a lil deranged 😬), but rather that's just how I operate. Before Clexa the only other ship I ever really cared about was Willara from Buffy which I watched when I was a goddamn teenager lol (RIP to my fellow gays always falling for girls who get shot ✊😔). I just don't get attached much to characters and ships. Usually ai like them in passing, enjoy watching them, and then that's... it. Tibette from the L Word. Wayhaught. Brittana. I like them and I follow them, but there's no real desire to delve deeper beneath the surface.

And then something like Clexa comes around and just absolutely fucks me up. It hits me and connects with me in a way that I just can't shake. Watching the show isn't enough. Thinking about it isn't enough. I have to discuss it and dissect it and fill in the gaps that we didn't see, and read and (now) create more stories for them just to understand everything about them to a deeper degree.

So few characters really elicit that kind of connection, but Clexa do. Even for a lot of the people who have moved on, at one time they felt that connection. Clexa was a fuckin madhouse for years and I think the fact that even still to this day people keep discovering and rediscovering them and falling in love with them all over again speaks volumes about just how wonderful that relationship and those characters actually were.

Especially Lexa.

Now, I love Clarke. I make it known that thiiiisss is a Clarke Griffin apologist's blog. That feral little kitten has never done anything wrong in her life. Ever. Including all of the terrible things she's done, as well as the many, many things that were flat out wrong. She is still innocent. She is only a baby. A murderous, tormented, compassionate, complex babygirl. So never get it twisted that I'm saying Clarke is somehow lesser than, but when push comes to shove when we're talking about baseline complexity, there is no character like Lexa. There's just not.

This woman was definition of doomed by the narrative. A child stolen away to be used as a glorified sacrificial lamb for her people. A toddler wielding a sword made of wood taller than her own tiny body, trained to accept her own life as expendable for the greatest good of her people before even learning her ABCs. She took the throne at 12 bby slaughtering her only companions and made her death mask out of kohl and fallen tears. Every person she ever loved as a mother, father, brother, either died for her, or by her own hand. The only two people she ever dared to be weak for were torn from her in the name of politics and the weight of her own bloodied crown. Under all the regalia she was just Lexa. Heda, always surrounded by her people and yet eternally just a lonely soul. Born here on Earth, raised to eventually die for others, left to rule over the people on the ground as best she knew how.

And yet through the pain, she was strong. So fucking strong it emboldened the warriors around her. She was brave, and lethal, and unyielding in her pursuit of peace. Meeting every push against her forward march to change head on, never flinching in her own brutality along the way. She knew that she was born for this; believed the black of her blood to be every bit as much of a blessing as it was a curse. Even when people doubted her and did their best to end her reign, Lexa always came out swinging.

She loved hard and kicked ass even harder, is what I'm saying. And the fact that they took a character like that and ended her so fucking carelessly? I just... I'm gonna be pissed off about that for a very long time. And until I'm no longer pissed off about that, I'll be here running mouth about it 🥴 probably still trying to make it better by writing her and the love of her life in as many stories as I can, so they can finally get the happy ending that was robbed of them in canon 🫡

#bisexualseraphim #clexa #lexa kom trikru

[hannahssimblr]

And so, begins an intense drive for work like I have never experienced. Perhaps work is the wrong word, as not much about creating art feels that way. Never before with ordinary, academically focussed work have I adopted this kind of extraordinary discipline to the point that I simply get through the motions of the ins and outs of my ordinary days, looking forward to the moment that I can lock myself away in my bedroom and draw for the evenings and into the night.

I draw everything in sight. I study fabric; the crinkle of the duvet, the crease in my pillows and the piles of discarded clothing on my bedroom floor. I draw the curtains from ten positions, then ten more. I study the exacting edges of man made objects. The hard, smooth ceramic of the mugs I should have brought back to the kitchen days ago, the individual keys of my laptop, a tastefully arranged stack of books from dad’s library that he surely won’t notice are missing unless he has a sudden urge to read about the battle of the bulge or Haguenau for the thousandth time. 

Mostly I study myself, my own anatomy, feet, legs, arms and fingers and all of the weird little bits of me that move about beneath the skin. I fill pages and pages this way, so many that I run out of paper and start drawing in between all of the drawings I’ve already done, overlapping like the work of an obsessed madman. Maybe I am. 

Have I eaten today? 

Often I pull up a mirror and study my own face in different ways. I pull different expressions or control the lighting so that I can create soft, diffused light in the early morning, or cast angular shadows over my cheek with the artificial glow of a desk light when the sun sets and the room around me is black like spilled ink. 

At school when I lay my work on the table for Miss O’Reilly I’m embarrassed by how many drawings of my own likeness cram the bursting pages of my sketchbooks. They look like the journals of a raving egomaniac to me, but to her it resembles art. She tells me that I show a lot of real promise, and that I have more to learn. I agree with her, and spend lunchtime in the library.

Art and science, it seems, go hand in hand. Hunched in a dark corner where nobody can see how uncool I have become, I pore over anatomy diagrams and look at muscles and tendons and bones. I learn what everything is called and the shape it makes when the skin is pulled taut over it. 

When it is curved on one side, it’s straight on the other, I observe, as I draw my finger down the length of an illustrated thigh on page sixty four of Biology Plus for Leaving Cert, trying not to think about how this is probably the closest I’ve come to intimacy with another human being in months, and as someone as uncontrollably and constantly horny as I am it’s becoming difficult to ignore. Maybe I should text Tara Neary and ask if she’ll help me study biology…

No.

I hastily skip over the pages about reproduction and start reading about something called the Cephalic vein instead. Sexy. 

I even log into the library computers and watch disgusting medical videos of dissections which make me feel so ill that I think I might lose my lunch, but they are informative as much as they make me feel like I am displaying psychopathic behaviour and worry that I am on a slippery slope towards becoming one of those people that murders cats and rabbits just so that he can cut them up and peer at their insides. What’s next? Robbing graves?

“Look up blue waffle next.”

I jump, and spin around to Jen who is leaning over my shoulder, and I quickly close all windows from the Video Atlas of Human Anatomy website. “And that’s fucking sick, whatever that is.” 

“Jesus, Jen, you scared me.”

“Only because I caught you looking at something you shouldn’t.” 

“It’s just biology,” I grumble, and she pinches my arm before pulling up a seat and slumping into it, “I didn’t think I’d find you here of all places. The elusive Jude Turner.”

“Is that what they call me now?”

“I’m afraid so. But honestly I thought you were doing something way more interesting with all your alone time these days.”

“I’m studying.”

“Do you know how to study?”

“Clearly.” 

She sighs, “Well can you give it a rest? I miss you. We don’t hang out enough lately.”

“It’s not because I hate you or something…”

“I know, you’re busy, busy, busy, drawing all the time. Ugh. I get it. Is this how you’re going to be all summer too? Down on the beach in Wexford drawing scabby seagulls?”

“If you wanted to hang out you could always come over to my house and let me draw you again, as long as you won’t move around so much this time.”

“I can’t not move!” She says in outrage, and as the librarian promptly shushes her she lowers the volume, “It’s so boring just to sit there and do nothing, I can’t think of anything worse. Oh no wait, I can, it’s hanging out with Michelle and Evan without you there to laugh at them with me. And now that it’s getting warmer and the days are longer I just want to be outside, but my only options are to sit in the park and watch them kiss or go for a sad walk all on my own, Judie,” she takes my hands, “Please, give it a rest. Down the pencils, I’m begging you.”

“I just really like learning about this.”

“Yes, but can you like it six days a week instead of seven? Can you give me a day? A measly day for old Jenny?”

“I see you Tuesdays still,” I point out, though I know that grilling her with maths questions while she groans in despair into her pillow isn’t exactly her definition of fun, but can’t she see that this is important to me? I can’t forgo my Ivy duties or rugby, so I must forgo my social evenings instead. Something's got to give, and now it has, and for the good of my future I have stopped texting everyone back. 

“We’re having a bonfire night at the weekend, will you come?”

“Who is?”

“Me and my friends.”

“The emos.”

“Yeah, the emos. What other friends do I have? Now that it’s finally semi-warm-ish we thought we’d have a fun night up by the beach and just sit around and chat by the fire. Doesn’t that sound nice?”

“Well, yeah,” I admit reluctantly. “I do like a bonfire.”

“Of course you do, my little arsonist. So come. It’ll be good for you to get out and do something. You’re an extrovert, you’re not meant to be so cooped up.”

I begin to protest that I don’t feel cooped up, even, astoundingly, when I’m at home with my family. I feel alive and free in my artistic pursuits since I’ve unlocked this new exciting part of myself. I’m capable of focussing on something, doesn’t Jen understand how significant that is? But then again,  maybe she’s right. Maybe it’s abnormal not to socialise with other teenagers for three weeks in a row. 

“Alright, I’ll come then.”

“That’s more like it,” Jen ruffles my hair, no doubt getting it all out of place, but it’s fine, I’ll fix it later in the mirror when I’m back drawing my nose or my chin for the umpteenth time. “We’ll have a lovely time! I’m excited now!”

“Yeah, don’t get too excited, I feel like the librarian might have something to say about that.”

Jen peers around to see the daggers being shot her way, “Okay, fine. I’ll leave you alone.”

“You promise?”

“Yes! Look, I’m going!” She untangles her legs from the chair and does a whole show of sneaking away as quietly as humanly possible while watching the librarian with performative caution, “Hey,” She hisses from the door, just when I had started to believe she was truly gone, “Don't forget to look up blue waffle. Trust me.”

“Get out of here!”

Beginning // Prev // Next

#lucky boy 2009 #if you don't know what blue waffle is istg do NOT look it up #kids of the 00s will know <3 #and have never forgotten the horrors #we used to send it around during computer class and we would SCREAM #tw: sex mention

[lollytea]

Okay I wanna write down a few thoughts on that part of the climax in Thanks to Them that has garnered some mixed opinions. Specifically Hunter’s possession and the subsequent death of Flapjack. 

I wouldn’t necessarily say I’m defending this scene, as people are perfectly within their rights to be uncomfortable with it and criticize everything from its execution to its inclusion at all. Whether this whole thing was objectively a terrible writing decision for Hunter’s character, his arc, and the overall message it sends is....a discussion starter to say the least. Rather, what I wanna do is maybe try and dissect the reasons why these scenes might exist in the first place. From a writing perspective. 

I’ve been thinking about it a lot, trying to figure out just what angle the crew was going for and I think I might have some vague idea. And I’ll admit, I think there’s something poignant in here somewhere. Maybe they fumbled the bag a bit and didn’t consider just how troubling some of these implications could be. Writing gets clunky sometimes. But that’s up to every individual viewer to draw their own conclusions. But personally, I don’t believe that these scenes were intended to be gratuitous. I don’t believe that they were added solely because the crew are sadists who enjoy wringing Hunter dry like an angsty dish cloth. As flawed as they may be, I think I can understand why they were written. Possibly. 

So, I’m gonna try to give an objective look at the themes, storytelling and symbolism at play here and how all of that relates to Hunter’s overall character and the big climax of his story.

We’ll start with the very understandable hurt viewers felt when Hunter’s road to recovery was abruptly relapsed by Belos. The thing many people are vocalizing their feelings about is how the episode made sure to demonstrate just how happy Hunter was. That’s what devastated them the most. Hunter was in the process of healing, which hits close to home for many, making what Belos did to him all the more disturbing on a personal level. 

However, every single one of us knew that Belos was alive before we watched the episode. Hunter did not. Hunter believed that Belos was dead and this was the only reason that he felt safe enough to make such progress in his recovery. So now matter what way you twist it, we all knew Hunter was set up to relapse the moment he realized Belos was in the Human Realm. 

So what was the point of showing this sixteen year old abuse victim experiencing safety, warmth, happiness, confidence and self exploration just to cruelly rip it all away from him? 

Put simply, to establish just how much Hunter now has to live for. Just how much Hunter has to fight for. His motivations for living and for fighting are sprinkled all throughout the episode. This boy has such a hopeful future laid out before him and he knows it. So when he finally gets his moment to tell Belos exactly what he wants for himself, you understand exactly where this passion and determination is coming from. It means something. 

And then there’s the possession itself, which everything comes down to. We saw the leaks, we hated them, some of us talked ourselves into believing they were fake but we all kinda knew deep down. It was a very fun very terrible week. ANYWAY. 

I think that Hunter’s arc would have felt incomplete if he didn’t get a final confrontation with Belos. That’s the popular opinion. However, many are also in the opinion that Hunter getting possessed was very unnecessary and violating and it should not have been done in the first place. And I’m not gonna argue with this view. It’s legit. But again, here’s what I believe the crew might have been going for with this.

The possession of Hunter’s body is a symbolic manifestation of everything Belos has always represented in his life. It’s a final culmination of all sixteen years under that man’s thumb and all the damage he’s done to Hunter’s body and psyche. 

Ever since Separate Tides, Hunter has been Belos’ puppet. And honestly, though the specifics of the arrangement have shifted, this was still the case throughout Thanks To Them. Between Separate Tides and Hollow Mind, it’s pretty simple. Perfectly obedient Golden Guard who does everything his uncle tells him to do, without much say in the trajectory of his own life. 

However, after Hollow Mind, Hunter was no longer that. But that didn’t mean the puppetry stopped entirely. He was a nervous wreck for the rest of the season. The mention of the Emperor’s name paralyzed him with fear. It didn’t matter if it wasn’t done directly. Belos still had an alarming amount of control over Hunter. 

So long as he was alive, Hunter knew he wasn’t safe. And once Hunter starts to realize that he’s still out there, it becomes obvious that he will never fully recover until he’s certain Belos is dead. 

Everything about the possession is an encapsulation of what Belos’ years of abuse and manipulation have been like to Hunter. How powerless he’s always felt. But this time, it isn’t done through words or threats of violence. It’s worse than that. It’s physically invasive. It’s desecration. It’s having his very self taken away from him and nothing is more sacred than a person’s autonomy. The weight of what’s happening to him is palpable. 

This is the worst thing Belos has ever done to him. 

But what does Hunter, the boy who spent his entire life petrified of this man, do about it? 

He finds it in himself to rebel against it.

Because, though Belos’ abuse and the negative effects of his upbringing have always been such a crucial aspect of Hunter’s sense of personhood, it’s not all that defines him. 

A long time ago Hunter was given orders from the Emperor to slay a selkidomus. Instead he passed the job off to somebody else because he didn’t want to do it. 

Hunter self-sabotaged his own mission and allowed Luz to escape with the palismen he was ordered to recover. 

Hunter studied wild magic against his uncle’s wishes. 

Hunter went to Eclipse Lake even when he was told not to. 

Hunter had a secret palismen named Flapjack. 

Hunter assigned himself to the Hexside mission without getting Belos’ approval. 

Hunter owned a secret scroll. 

Hunter refused to roll over and die in the mindscape even when Belos decided that he was no longer useful. 

Hunter has a rebellious heart. Had one from the very beginning. He was definitely in denial about it back then (Happily declaring just how much he loves “Authority! And rules!”) but it was there, clear as day.

But this is the moment where Hunter embraces that rebellious heart. And in doing so, he finds the willpower to regain control of his body. To Hunter, this moment is a reflection of everything he’s always wanted to do. To break free of Belos’ power. To speak his mind. To choose his own future. To choose himself. 

And all that genuine joy we saw him experiencing earlier in the episode is what strengthens his resolve to grit out his final words to Belos.

Hunter releases years of pent up frustration that he was too brainwashed to ever let himself think about. 

Hunter openly expresses desire after desire, fully aware that every single one of them will boil Belos’ blood. 

Hunter outrights demands that he be allowed happiness. 

He’s proving, not only to Belos, but to himself that you can hurt him, you can scare him, you can manipulate him, you can even possess him, but you will never own him. Nobody will ever own him. 

So, yes, absolutely. There are valid criticisms to be had of the concept of Hunter being possessed. And it’s likely the writers didn’t really think a lot of the ramifications through. 

But I believe the idea it’s trying to portray was how the intensity of that moment and how violating it was to Hunter further emphasized just how powerful Hunter’s final act of defiance was. It wasn’t just one last fight between the two of them, it was a visceral way of having Hunter confront everything Belos has ever put him through, allow his resentment to bubble over and finally understand that he has the right to reject who he was “supposed” to be, whether Belos likes it or not. 

One thing that came from the possession scene that I believe is genuinely a good and healthy thing is that Hunter’s perspective of Belos has changed for the better.

This was the worst thing Belos could have possibly done to him. And Hunter did not only survive it but he was capable of resisting it. Something he’s never been able to do before. He has officially endured the worst Belos can inflict on him. So, with that in mind, Hunter has no reason left to be afraid of this man anymore. With this, all remaining control Belos had over him has been shattered. 

I have to acknowledge that, though this experience was truly godawful, it did provide Hunter with the closure he needed. It was necessary to how he proceeds forward. With all that fear out of the picture, Hunter’s current feelings towards Belos consist of righteous fury and contempt. Which is cathartic to say the least, as Hunter’s hate can finally be directed at the person who hurt him, rather than himself. In the case of a victim struggling with their trauma, allowing themselves to be angry at their abuser can be a very therapeutic thing. 

This is huge for Hunter. While many have expressed the opinion that the after effects of this moment will be detrimental to Hunter’s overall arc, I honestly think it’s a massive step in the journey to recovery. It’s not the nice peaceful part he experienced while in Camila’s house but not everything about an abuse victim’s healing process is pleasant. Sometimes it’s ugly. But progress is progress. 

And then there’s the matter of Flapjack’s sacrifice which is a doozy of a subject. 

Anyone who follows me is aware that I was very vocal in my belief that Flapjack would survive, because surely they wouldn’t take something so precious to Hunter away from him. Surely. 

(Well I’m Stan and I was wrong, I’m singing the Stan Wrong Song, okay fuck you.)

But once that episode was over and the credits were rolling, I started to think about Flapjack as far back as his introduction in Hunting Palismen. And honestly, I feel like his death was planned from the start. The kind of friend who comes into your life, changes you for the better before inevitably having to say goodbye. But even if it’s temporary, that doesn’t make their presence in your life any less impactful. 

While Flapjack had plenty of personality, he wasn’t so much a character with his own arc, as he was a tool in progressing Hunter’s. His role in the story was to guide a lost and lonely boy into the light and show him that he’s worthy of being loved. 

And with Flapjack’s influence, Hunter let himself meet people who don’t make him feel worthless. He has never felt more loved in his life. 

Flapjack officially imprinted on Hunter when the boy expressed a longing to figure out his own future. Flapjack decided that he would try to lead him in the right direction. 

And in his final moments, Flapjack watched the boy he had been guiding adamantly proclaim everything he wanted his future to be. It was safe to assume he had figured it out. 

Flapjack’s existence in Hunter’s life also represents the link to Caleb along with Hunter’s complicated “relationship” with this ghost of a man that he’ll never know. Caleb is not Hunter and Hunter will never be Caleb. However, they’ll always be connected by the strings of terrible, terrible destiny that Belos tied together. And though Hunter didn’t know it, Caleb lingered in his life in the form of the bird he left behind.

And in all that time where Hunter figuring out his own identity, Caleb’s bird was helping him along. It was when Hunter was finally certain exactly who he was (Not a witch hunting accomplice of Belos) that Caleb’s bird was ready to move on.

With all these ends tied up, Hunter did not need Flapjack anymore. 

But Flapjack still had one more job left to do. And that was to make sure Hunter got to stay with the people who loved him and Hunter got his chance to experience the future he had decided for himself. Figuring it out is useless if it’s all a hopeless fantasy. Flapjack wanted it to be a reality. 

It must have been a relief to the little bird’s heart that his witch had grown so much and he could leave knowing Hunter would be okay without him.

(There’s also the interpretation that Flapjack is an analogy for a service animal/disability aid. But that line about learning to carve could not set it up the future any clearer. Hunter will not be without a palisman forever.

Obviously, it might take him some time before he’s ready to begin again. But he will make a new palismen. As a boy who’s spent his entire arc learning how to let new loved ones into his life, it would make absolutely no sense whatsoever if he didn’t.)

Anyway, my biggest fear when I saw the leaks which showed Flapjack sacrificing himself for Hunter’s sake, was how much something like that could completely destroy all of Hunter’s healing progress. Because why wouldn’t it? He not only lost his best friend but Flapjack died to keep him alive. How could he possibly live with himself after something like that? 

I think this is one of the main talking points over why people are upset about Flapjack’s death. How it’s going to effect Hunter. I’ve seen the belief that this devastating loss was detrimental to his recovery journey and it’s rendered all of the lighthearted scenes of enthusiasm and confidence from earlier in the special obsolete. But I honestly feel like it’s the exact opposite. 

Hunter’s reaction to Flapjack’s death was different than I imagined it would be. And not in an objectively bad way. It’s quite telling of how far he’s come. Compare it to Hollow Mind where Hunter also experiences a traumatic loss which results in him having a complete meltdown. He cries, he hyperventilates, he runs blindly into the woods. It was borderline apocalyptic. And it’s completely understandable. At this point in life, Hunter lost what he believed to be his entire world. 

After Flapjack’s sacrifice, the first thing Hunter did when he regained consciousness was smile, softly greet his remaining loved ones and ask if they were alright. It’s revealed seconds later that he already knew Flapjack was gone. But he still had it in him to smile. Because even in the devastating aftermath of losing the creature who changed his life and introduced him to real happiness, he’s relieved to know his friends and family are safe. He knows he’s not alone. 

Flapjack was deeply important to Hunter. It’s impossible to even articulate just how much he adored that little bird. When he lost his former life, Flapjack was all he had.

However, by this point, Hunter’s life is flourishing with hobbies and interests and ambitions and friends and family and love. Flapjack was no longer everything Hunter had. And being surrounded by so many people who cared about him in his moment of grief is a powerful thing. 

Hunter is quiet about Flapjack’s death. He’s weak, he’s exhausted, he’s utterly gutted. But there’s nothing that implies he blames himself. Judging by how he was aware of the sacrifice despite just waking up, I believe they did get one last goodbye via their mental link. 

And I think this is why Hunter seems so accepting of what had just happened. Whatever Flapjack said to him, he had successfully made Hunter understand that this was just how it had to be and that it was not his fault. And with all the love and optimism Flapjack has instilled in him since they met, Hunter decided that what he needs to do now is try and lead the most fulfilling life he possibly can. He has to. This life had been a gift from Flapjack after all.

But as mentioned way up above, Hunter can never have the life he wants until Belos is permanently out of the picture. I think this is where his new lease of life comes from in the final moments of the special. 

Hunter has changed significantly throughout this episode. While in his opening scene, he was completely clueless on how to comfort Luz properly because he equates the guilt she feels to his own and that link between their similar feelings sabotages any attempt at clarity on his part. His words of comfort were basically “If it helps, they’ll hate me more.” 

But before he steps through the portal, Hunter has a new perspective on the self-loathing that has been corrupting both himself and the girl he now calls family. It was never them. It was Belos. It was always Belos. Hunter is able to tell Luz that it was never her fault because he finally understands that it was never his fault. And he’s telling her all of this because she’s important to him and she always will be. 

Hunter still has Luz.

He then expresses his new motivation. To fight back. To regain control of his life. To get some justice for all the damage his abuser has done to him and so many others. To protect the world that he cares about. 

Hunter still has Willow and Gus and Amity. 

Hunter still has Camila and Vee. 

Losing Flapjack did not kill Hunter’s fire. It did not render all of his prior growth in the Human Realm null and void. Hunter has experienced a loss and his grief is palpable but he still has so much left.

In fact, I think if Hunter hadn’t had these experiences, hadn’t built these relationships, hadn’t realized just how much life has to offer to him, he wouldn’t be taking such a defiant stance. He wouldn’t be the first one to march into the portal, taking Flapjack home, determined to end Belos once and for all. And he’s standing on a strong foundation of mourning, experience, wisdom, love and support. 

I keep thinking about that very infamous line by Dana that was misinterpreted to Hell and back. 

“Dana doesn’t like happy endings.” 

That line never bothered me much, even when I didn’t know what the exact context actually was (Dana doesn’t like happily ever after.) Like, I watched the Owl House, I know the kind of stories Dana liked to tell. So, the way I always interpreted that opinion was the simple message that we can never have it all. 

Life is tumultuous. There are ups. There are downs. There are gains. There are losses. And I feel like that’s an accurate summary of Hunter’s development throughout the special. 

Hunter had been mistreated. He now has far more scars than he started out with. He lost Flapjack. These are all devastating blows to him physically and emotionally. 

But please, don’t allow the suffering Hunter went through distract from all of his positive growth in this episode. Hunter spent months making happy memories. He strengthened his bonds with his friends. He now has somebody who genuinely loves him that he can call family. He’s discovered all these brand new hobbies and interests. 

He likes who he is now.

That hasn’t changed. I promise you that it hasn’t changed. 

And most importantly of all, Hunter is no longer ruled by fear of the man who hurt him. He is no longer under Belos’ control. 

Hunter is grieving right now but he is not in ruins. 

This is not rock bottom for him. 

I feel that Hunter’s gains and losses were pretty evenly distributed throughout the episode. However, because of the attachment people have towards him, as a teenage abuse victim who’s steadily recovering, it’s easy to only see his losses. Because it hurts to see, it really does. 

But I promise you all of those happy Hunter memories meant something too. Those are what’s him pushing forward right now. 

Anyway, those are my two cents on that whole thing. Again, I don’t think these scenes are immune to criticism. However, I did want to take a moment to examine them a bit because I truly believe that there was a team of passionate writers attempting to create something profound with this.

I like to write myself and I understand that a lot of the time I miss the mark and don’t always execute the point I’m trying to make. So, at the very least, even if things aren’t handled perfectly, I’d like to try and dissect the message that they were attempting to send. 

It’s absolutely fine if you don’t agree with a word of this. I understand that these scenes have hurt quite a lot of people. But thank you for reading. I appreciate it. 💕

#toh spoilers #tw abuse

[tamelee]

Hii tamelee! If I remember correctly, you’re studying storytelling, is that right? I wondered if you could explain in details what kind of school you’re going, or just what exactly you are doing in your studies? If it’s okay with you of course 😊

Have a good day :)

Hi~! Yeah, sure! 

I did marketing, (communication and entertainment), but then finished audiovisual and graphic design because I liked that much better than learning about how manipulative the industries are tbh. Unfortunately, I found out quickly, that pretty much every job in that industry has been taken over by AI and that even me learning how to draw wasn’t going to help me with that anymore either 🥲. Then, I continued doing Storytelling in the communication sector (where, yet again I learned about all the ways people are being manipulated -.-) because it’s quite a new official study. And then, I was accepted to apply for the program that focusses more on fiction— and got in. Which I’m doing right now (though I’m almost done).  

In short, what I learned about Storytelling in business is that organizations use the elements of fictional storytelling combined with science (both internally and externally) in order to influence and convince the attitude, knowledge and behavioral patterns for the right audiences that are targeted by a certain communication goal. That goes so far that even the science about our brains are dissected to figure out the best ways in which the organization can redirect your neurotransmitters and hormones to benefit the storyteller. Even if you know you’re being manipulated, (for example, through a commercial that’s shamelessly stomping on your morals through a guilt-trip, or a product in the store that’s obnoxiously being shoved in front of you), often it’s still about targeting your subconscious and trust me when I say that if you enjoy spending time on the internet, it happens to you all the time and you don’t even know it :D 

And yes, companies like shueisha/VIZ are masters in this as well— hence me disappointingly complimenting that skill at times.  

So, imagine my joy when I crossed the bridge toward fiction. 

Fictional storytelling is where I dissect not the science of a human brain exactly, but the story that’s being told. I have to figure out all the elements and literary devices that are being used and what they mean in the story. Not what it means to me, but finding meaning through the Theme the author/creator has used, and why. It’s about how a story is structured and what impacts people on an emotional level for their benefit (mostly). Why a story works and keeps you up all night, why others are usually almost always forgotten quickly. It’s not as subjective as people may think. Interpretation doesn’t mean much unless there’s intentionally room for it. (And when something is intentional or when it’s not.) There’s also science in its logic, but that’s not something most authors/creators focus on. And they really shouldn’t have to imo. It’s also knowing about character arcs and how to implement symbolism and motifs effectively. I have to write essays on movies and books or even TED talks. It’s using knowledge to figure out the why, what and how. 

I think it’s awesome as a study, but other than some creative writing lessons, it won’t help me with great prose. It’s hard for me to connect with my own emotions and body which is something a lot of great authors can do really well. Either naturally or having to have practiced the connection with their personal emotional intelligence in order to write their Truth in their own authentic way through their characters. I read many books outside of my study from scriptwriters as well which were helpful. None of it is any reassurance I’ll be able to write my own story effectively though. It’s more a guideline of sorts with knowledge and structure which a neurodivergent like me (yes, I’m diagnosed officially) really needs xD. I still have to practice a lot! ^^  Hope you have a good day as well 🌷!

#asktamelee #on storytelling #storytelling talk #personal

[blade-that-was-broken]

I’m still stuck on your idea that John Dory is like influential enough to the pop genre of music composition and song writing that his work is analyzed in college level music composition and music theory classes. Cause it’s like one thing if every song he ever wrote is in the top of the charts but it’s another thing to get featured as a person of interest in a music composition class and it feeds so well into my theory that JD spent the 20 years he was traveling on Rhonda and not really working living off of royalties cause he could have been writing textbooks on song writing and shit. He could have been like contacted by colleges and asked to give Ted talks and guest lectures on how to blend multiple voices into a near perfect harmony.

John Dory is like the Lady Gaga of the troll world not in the sense like their music is remotely similar but because they both view music as art and are perfectionists with it. Because they hold their work to the highest standard and make sure it’s the highest possible quality. Which I think is like partially the root behind why JD went so perfectionist with the band in particular. Regardless of why it started and why it ended JD cared deeply that every aspect of their performances were revolutionary, were perfect. People compare jds perfectionism and demands of his brothers to velvets demands of vener and desire for fame. But they really could not be more different in reality because as their songs reveal JD cares about perfection he will not cut corners with his work with his performances. He wants his art to be 100% flawless and be a revolutionary work of art because he is an Artist and performance is his canvas. I don’t think that JD cares about being famous or making money beyond enough to support his family and invest in his art. Velvet is fundamentally different. She doesn’t care about the quality of her and veneirs work, doing any of it herself or her fans at all she just wants to be rich and famous.

Kinda getting off topic here but anyway I think JD would be delighted that people are analyzing his art and being inspired by it because he put hella work into it. Brozone was his passion project that combined his two favorite things his family and his art and he definitely loves his family more than his art and he doesn’t really care too much about hitting the perfect family harmony anymore beyond saving Floyd but I still really do think he is proud of the work he put into brozone despite hating the way it ended and would be so flattered that other are dissecting the meaning and depth behind his word choices and music composition. And I also think if the troll world had like Broadway JD would love musical theatre so much. Anyway this is my official take on why I see jd as a music/art/theater snob.

Thanks for coming to my ted talk

One: I love when people do the whole "thank for coming to my ted talk" it makes me laugh and I love to laugh.

Two: I think it would be so FUNNYYYYY. Even more so if John had absolutely ZERO clue about what was happening. There is SO much he could have done but like, naw, he's just gonna become a perpetual camper/survivalist and have virtually nothing to his name that HE knows of. Like, one of those famous rich hermits except he doesn't know he's famous or rich. I'm sorry, just way too funny.

I love the idea that JD puts so much thought and care and study/hardwork - along with his natural talent - into his music. Like, sure, it probably helps that he's naturally good at it but I think he really tries to do the best he can. And I think Brozone would be very limiting in certain areas. Like, yes, there is his whole blending of individual parts as a whole, harmonies, and group work. But Brozone is probably meant more for entertainment than much else. It's a performance. When he leaves and if he keeps writing, I think he'd expand in the things he does. Or whatever. I've got too many thoughts and feelings haha lol

OOOOHHHH I kinda like that thought. I don't know much about Lady Gaga or really listened to her music but I understand the perfectionism thing. I always used to say practice makes perfect (and more recently, practice makes progress) so I think I can understand the concept alright. I think it's so interesting people compare him to Velvet sometimes when honestly, they seem like polar opposites. Velvet doesn't want to work at all, she doesn't care for her craft, she doesn't want to practice, she has no talent or even tries to work up to having talent. JD on the other hand, worked too much, put everything into his craft and probably practiced too much. He's got the talent, sure, but he also WORKED for it too.

I think a part of him would be delighted because - HOW COOL - and a part of him would be like but... why??? I know people tend to see him as egotistical or whatever but I think he really loved what he did and he put a lot into it. Idk how much his family really cares about their music, especially anymore, but I think JD would still be proud of it and guess what? He should. It was popular and people liked it. He should be proud of what they accomplished, even if nearing the end things got out of control. it couldn't have always been that way.

Agreed. JD loves his family more than anything. I have a feeling he wouldn't have let 20 years pass if he knew they were alive. It's one of the lines in the movies (I found out you were still alive) that really hits me home for that. He was also the only one who came back soooo there is that too. And yeah! He literally straight up FORGOT about the Family Harmony until Floyd told him that was what was needed. And even after twenty years, he still whole heartedly believes in his brothers that they can do it (if we just practice a little) like that sweetie. Running on worry, adrenaline and lack of sleep, that dude just wants to save his brother.

AWWWW JD loving theatre would be so CUTE! Except I would love to see him both go to Broadway things and Children's plays. Like that would be funny! Here is this dude who goes to these serious broadway type shows but then he turns around and the next night he goes to some local kids Seussical or something.

I just love this so much haha

Okay also another thing...

Okay, I do think it would be funny if for those twenty years, what JD did for "work" was just sell the rights to songs he wrote on the road to other artists/trolls he came across. Like, as he is traveling and is writing different types of music, musicians be like dude this song is amazing and just my style and JD be like... I'll sell it/trade it for (insert whatever here). Like how funny? And then the radio is just flooded with songs that JD wrote, many of which people have NO idea he wrote.

Like could you imagine a song comes on the radio and Floyd being all like "I love this song!!"

And JD like oh yeah, I traded that song for a machete and two chickens. Awesome deal, I love my machete. Comes in handy.

Like could you imagine? I don't know why but I find the concept SO FUNNY

#ask #and there is my ted talk haha lol #i love these ideas

[greenhikingboots]

More about the Mad Mouse

So a few weeks ago during excitement about the new outline reveal, I posted a few mini metas / speculation pieces. In one, I said — not for the first time — that I’m in favor of the Howland Reed = Ser Shadrich the Mad Mouse theory. Now I’m finally back to share my favorite canon evidence. (Clarity! This isn’t a comprehensive list of evidence for the theory. It’s a post to focus on one piece I haven’t seen discussed before). I’ve already posted about it once or twice, but always buried in longer posts with tangentially related, more tinfoil-y theories, so I assume most people never read far enough to see this part. But you really, really, really need to see this part. To get to Ser Shadrich I first need to talk about Lyn Cobray. Recall that in AFFC there’s a moment where he threatens Littlefinger, but Littlefinger later tells Sansa not to worry, it was an act; Littlefinger is paying Lyn to fein hatred, join every conspiracy against him and report back.

Okay. So. In TWOW Alayne/Sansa chapter, she and Myranda talk with Lyn. Basically, the reader finds out that Lyn is pretending to be unhappy with Littlefinger because it’s his fault Lyn won’t be his brother's heir much longer. Littlefinger helped Lyn’s brother find a second, more fertile wife after his first wife died, and now a baby is on the way to push Lyn to a lower rank.

Got it? Okay, good. Because right after that part in TWOW chapter, there’s this absolutely insane line that needs to be dissected. *

“The venom in his voice was so thick that for a moment [Sansa] almost forgot that Lyn Corbray was actually her father’s catspaw, bought and paid for. Or was he? Perhaps, instead of being Petyr’s man pretending to be Petyr’s foe, he was actually his foe pretending to be his man pretending to be his foe.” *

Whaaaaat? What's Martin doing here? Why have Sansa think this line? What purpose does it serve? Sure, you can argue it’s just to make readers watch out for Lyn, to be suspicious of him and on the lookout for what he’ll do in upcoming chapters. I think that could be a large part of it. But I don’t think that’s *all* of it. Because guess what happens next?

“Just thinking about it was enough to make her head spin. [Sansa] turned abruptly from the yard… and bumped into a short, sharp-faced man with a brush of orange hair who had come up behind her. His hand shot out and caught her arm before she could fall.”

That’s right, team. Right after Sansa thinks the insane thing about Lyn being a friend or a foe, who should appear but Ser Shadrich the Mad Mouse!? 

Who is definitely Howland Reed. Because check this out: * “Perhaps, instead of being Petyr’s man (a hedge knight Petyr is paying for) pretending to be is foe (telling Brienne he’s working for Varys when they met in AFFC), he was actually his foe (a Stark loyalist trying to save Sansa) pretending to be his man (again, a hedge knight) pretending to be his foe (again, lying to Brienne).” *

I mean, honestly that’s enough to convince me. But also the alternative just doesn’t carry a lot of weight in my opinion.

If Ser Shadrich really is working for Varys but Sansa is going to make it to the North despite his attempt to intervene, then how much is he serving the story? Just one more enemy for her to overcome among so many? Plausible enough, I guess, but boring.

Whereas the Howland Reed theory? If it’s true, it could support elements of the Grand Northern Conspiracy — and if we’ve got Stark supporters tracking down Rickon, so why not Stark supporters tracking down Sansa — as well as support elements of R+L=J and Jonsa (or complicate the reveal as speculated in my earlier link).

I get that there are so many secret identity theories that they get tiring and tempting to dismiss. But GRRM certainly isn’t shying away from using them to explore themes and advance plots. So before you shoot down the idea, I hope you’ll at least consider an avenue where this theory could be true and done well.

And if it turns out to be true, I hope you’ll all say, “Hey, Green called one right!” ;)

Thank you and goodnight.  (other posts inspired by the latest outline reveal: 1 and 2)

#twow speculation #howland reed #asoiaf theories #ser shadrich the mad mouse #finally wrote it

[nerdyenby]

I’m sure plenty of people have thought about it but I haven’t seen anyone dissect it so let’s talk about

Soren and Claudia as a reflection of Zuko and Azula

Obviously there’s the whole “kids of the big bad, son gets redeemed, daughter falls further into evil” thing but you can go so much deeper with it.

The Azula/Claudia parallels are pretty overt: villain’s prodigy daughter bases her whole identity around being good at what her father wanted her to be and becomes so desperate for approval she becomes functionally irredeemable (withholding the acknowledgment that she is a victim of manipulation and emotional abuse).

But we get to see in tdp what we never got in atla: the fall.

Azula was conniving and ready to do anything for her father’s approval long before we met her, and similar is true for Claudia, but we get to see a window into who Claudia could have been. We see her have friends and passions and interests and doubts. We see her looking for the best in people and believing what she’s doing is right. We see Claudia wrestle with the morality of her actions. We see her crossing the line and knowing it. We see her losing herself in desperation to get back a life long gone. We see her acknowledge that she has done unforgivable things and hating herself for her willingness to do them.

Claudia is Azula’s arc in reverse. Instead of getting this terrifying, perfect warrior fall apart at the seams when losing control, we get a girl who knows there is a line treading closer and closer until she’s crossed it so many times she doesn’t bother going back any more. We watch Azula’s prefect image fracture and break, we see Claudia collecting her broken pieces, reconstructing herself into something unrecognizable. We watch Azula’s fall from grace, we see Claudia’s rise to power.

Soren and Zuko’s parallels are almost more interesting to me, because they’re a bit more subtle. They are not each other, you could not slot them into each other’s stories like you could with their sisters. They are distinct but that’s what makes them such interesting foils.

Zuko’s arc is of him breaking out of who he was “supposed” to be and finding who he wants to be. Soren’s isn’t. He’s an adult, he’s already decided magic wasn’t for him. He knew he didn’t want to follow in his father’s footsteps, but he still wanted to make him proud. Soren is a warrior but he doesn’t try to be anyone he’s not, he’s a fierce fighter but he’s also an absolute goofball. He’s not the smartest, but he enjoys exploring new ideas and he wants to make people happy, he knows who he is. Zuko, however, is heartbreakingly clueless to what kind of person he is outside of his father’s orders.

Soren has a more defined personality from the get-go, but Zuko has to figure himself out on how own starting halfway through the series. Zuko’s life had been governed by a desperation to earn his father’s love and years of rage, he never got the chance to explore himself beyond this until season three. Soren, on the other hand, knows himself, but has his identity challenged and chipped away at. He is a crown guard, a protector, but he finds himself causing more harm than good. He’s loyal, he wants to fight to make the world a better place, but when he becomes paralyzed he knows that this is better — that he doesn’t want to hurt anyone and that he doesn’t trust his orders to not lead him astray. He wants to do the right thing and make people happy, but standing up for what’s right breaks his sister’s heart and pushes her over the edge. He is determined to help make a better future, one of peace and forgiveness, but that means protecting the king, even against his own father. Soren believes goodwill and faith are the key to a better world, but he can no longer trust Claudia, his sister and closest friend. He believes in letting go of the hurt of the past, but he’s mourned his father twice and he’s still alive.

Soren is a good man who wants to do the right thing, but every step of the way is a personal challenge. While Zuko is struggling to find himself and who he wants to become, Soren is fighting not to lose the best parts of himself when his identity is constantly being challenged.

Zuko’s banishment is a key part of his story, he was thrown out, forcefully separated from his family and forced to find himself on his own while his father’s shadow loomed over him. Soren, however, had been his father’s right hand in a way. He was right there, watching his father and sister slip further and further into dark magic that gradually eclipsed who they once were. He was by Claudia’s side as she did increasingly horrible things to satisfy their father, he watched as she slowly became someone he didn’t recognize anymore. Soren himself was ordered to kill for his father and almost went through with it. Zuko was never asked to do anything like that, probably because Ozai didn’t think Zuko would be willing or able to go through with it, but Viren believed in Soren. He wanted his son by his side, and for most of his life that’s what Soren wanted, too. Viren’s a messed up dude but, in his own messed up ways, he did care for Soren.

That’s part of what makes these families such good foils: that there was love there. Viren loves his kids in a possessive and controlling way, but he does want them safe and close; Ozai only ever wanted his kids to be useful. Claudia loved her brother, and Soren continues to love her.

Zuko and Azula have resented each other for most of their lives. There is sadness there, a sense of loss of what they could’ve had, but they never got to have a proper relationship. We get to watch Claudia and Soren fall apart, while we only ever got to see Zuko and Azula hate and pity each other. That is what hurts.

Look at their goodbye in season three, look at their reunion in season four, look at how they care for each other and how terrified they are of what’s happening before them. Now imagine Zuko and Azula in their place.

That is how you do good foils.

#I went off #sorry not sorry #tdp #tdp s4 #tdp spoilers #dragon prince #dragon prince spoilers #dragon prince s4 #tdp soren #tdp claudia #atla #avatar #atla zuko #Zuko #atla Azula #Azula #Soren and Claudia #zuko and azula #parallels #character foils #foils #siblingship doomed by the narrative rip #writing #analysis #cartoons #tv #nerdy’s multifandom rambles

[wildflowerteas]

hey, hello. i’m not sure if you’ll recognize me, but this is mania.sama on ao3, and i just now found your tumblr on my for you page. i havent had tumblr very long, and it’s surprised just how many people i’ve enjoyed works of (writing, drawings, etc) are here. especially surprised to see you — not in a bad way, of course!

i’m not sure what to say. sorry, maybe, for not reading / up to date with your current fic. i want to be reading it, i really do, but i was caught up reading “crime and punishment”, focusing on my academia, etc, among other issues that’s kept me away from committing to any long-form fanfictions. i wasn’t even reading one-shots or writing anything for a little while. hopefully i will be getting back onto your fic so, because from what little i’ve read already when you first posted it, it’s going to be life-changing.

i want to say more, i think. ask a question or two? i’m just very excited to see that your also drawing — amazing artwork for the second perspective!! i genuinely couldn’t believe it was real at first — and also a similar age to me, which i find nearly unbelievable due to your insane talent and skill.

hm. i think i’ll ask this question: what are your top favorite books? this could be fanfiction, short-form stories, novels, series, etc. you can list as many as you want; if they seem significant to you, have changed you, or were simply that well done and enjoyable. you dont need to treat this as a book recommendation; think not what other people should read. just express your own thoughts on why you have chosen these works as your favorite! i’m excited to see what you have to say (should you chose to answer, of course!)

again, hopefully i will read the second perspective soon <3 thank you so much for all the work you’ve done so far.

OH MY GOD IT'S YOUUU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to start this off by saying you quite literally changed my life. I go back from time to time and I read our little conversation in my comments threads and I get a little teary-eyed ( embarrassingly ). You gave me such a different perspective on my own writing and I've spent a while wishing there was something I could do to make you feel the same way in return. Do NOT apologize for not reading it!!! I'm absolutely in awe and so grateful you enjoyed the first one so much and if you enjoy TSP too that would actually make my head spin. Also, we're the same age?????? Hello?????? I'm so glad to hear about your life in the interim, though. I hope you enjoyed Crime and Punishment ( isn't it so good??? ). Also, you briefly mentioned writing yourself, so I may have to go back and stalk your profile for your works now.

Hmmm . . . to answer your question. This is pretty difficult because I've loved a lot of books over the years for nothing specific at all ( some of them are quite ridiculous if I'm being honest ). But here goes nothing:

When I was little ( maybe three-four ish? ), I loved Tumtum & Nutmeg, a series about a mouse couple living inside of a refurbished cupboard, because the books always came with recipes at the back ( that I would make for my family ). When I think about reading/my favorite books when I was a child, I always go back to this blurry rose-colored vision of me sitting on the couch at seven a.m., Tuesday morning, waiting to go to school, and talking my mother's ear off about the pastries in the book while Planet Earth plays on the TV. Lately, though, I've enjoyed reading Breasts and Eggs by Kawakami Mieko. Which, for a lot of reasons, has deeply resonated with me and kind of ruined my life. Womanhood in Japan, and womanhood in general, is dissected so well and explored with a lot of different character perspectives. It's just an incredible work and deeply personal to me as a queer, Japanese, and afab person. Empire of Pain, which was recommended to me by a friend, has become one of my favorite books as well. I've never really done well with non-fiction, but reading about the Sacklers definitely changed that. No Longer Human, and School Girl by Dazai Osamu. NLH I read in a school context ( Japanese language-learning classes ) and I wasn't really allowed to love it because of that ( who likes required reading? ). But I went back to it a few years later, when I was really struggling mentally, and it became something to me that I can't quite name or place. Not really a comfort. I'd actually say it was more of a wake-up call to teen me that actually prompted me to seek out help and rip down the fourth wall I'd put up between myself and others. School Girl I love for more technical reasons. Dazai really was a once-in-a-century talent. Poor Folk, by Fyodor Dostoevsky, was my reading-for-enjoyment book during spring semester of my first year at college. I loved a lot about it, but it's on this list because I'm emotionally attached to the characters because we were together for so long. On a less serious note: Bungo Stray Dogs ( Obviously, despite whatever Asagiri is cooking up) and Yona of the Dawn by Kusanagi Mizuho. Next to BSD, it's one of the manga I've been a fan of for over a decade, and I just could not imagine my life without it. Flowers for Algernon. I read this . . . oh gosh. Years ago. And I never reread it. That's all I'll say about that. Kira-Kira by Cynthia Kadohata. Again, a Japanese author ( there would be more, but I'm keeping myself contained here ) who would have thought? I think, by now, it's pretty clear I'm Japanese myself. Kira-Kira ( a Japanese onomatopoeia/mimetic word meaning 'sparkling' ) was a tearjerker, yes, but it also made me look out into the world and at my own identity with a much kinder lens. I fell in love with my own name ( which is the mimetic word for 'smile' --- niko-niko ) all over again. And I think, for that, it makes the list.

Honestly, I'm not sure these are my favorites. They're just the ones that come to my mind when I think about reading and liking literature in general. I'm sure if I was an English major or a CompLit major ( or if I was feeling particularly pretentious today ), I'd have more to say about them in terms of actual 'quality' or about their themes, but I don't.

I also want to say thank you so much for reaching out and asking this!! it's been so fun ( especially since I just got done writing a mind-boggling mess of a chapter for TSP hehe ). I really enjoyed talking to you the first time around and now that you're here on tumblr!!! I hope we can interact more I'd really love to be friends :,) <3 tysm agh. I hope you're having the loveliest of days. niko <3

#ask #writing

[zuppizup]

do you have any tips you'd like to offer for fanfic writing? your fanfics are amazing snd and i just dont know how you do it

Oh Nonny, honestly you are just way too kind. I really don’t know what tips I can give because honestly, I don’t really know what I’m doing but I shall try. 😅

Writing absolutely is not my day job (far from it) and I have no formal training in it. I just kinda muddle my way through. I really appreciate your kind words though, so I’ll try and share some things I’ve found helpful in my fanfic writing journey.

Write - yep, it’s boring and you hear it all the time but practice makes, well, better. Week to week, month to month, and year to year I see improvement in my writing and so much of that is down to writing… just writing. Not all of it is fit to be seen, but challenging myself by writing often (I try to write something ever day, even if it’s just a thought or a line of dialogue that strikes me) honestly feels like the number one way my writing has improved over the years.

Actively reading stuff I enjoy. So if a fic or a piece of media really grabs me, makes me feel emotional and captivated I try and dissect that. What about it caught my interest? Was it the the character development or the descriptions, world building or how the creator built atmosphere and tension? It’s not about trying to emulate a work you admire, but learning what about it you like and enjoy and seeing how you can adapt that to your particular style.

Writing what you want to read. For me this is a major thing. I write the stories I am interested in. I fundamentally write for me, and so it’s easier to focus and get drawn in by a story because I want to see how it ends. It’s absolutely wonderful if other people are interested in what I write (and publish… coz a lot of it sits on my hard drive…) but I’d still be writing regardless, because I want to know how everything works out.

Try and find fandom friends to be unhinged with. Absolutely easier said than done but if you can and you’re that way inclined, then finding some fandom crazies can be so helpful. I have no idea how many stories I’ve written based off a random “hey guys, can you imagine-” comment that got enabled all to hell. (Hello, enablers!!!)

Have fun! Honestly, this is the most important thing about being a fan writer for me. I’m here to grab my blorbos and throw them into situations and get them out of that situation. I’ve done it repeatedly and I’ll do it again. Coz it’s fun. Because I’m enjoying myself. And I won’t lie, the wonderful community we have, the amazing friends I’ve made and have blast with, the support and kindness I get is beyond description but I’ve been playing in various sandboxes for years (mostly by myself) and I’ve still the most fun exploring my imagination and creativity.

I’m sure other, more articulate and well studied people have far better and more useful insights (there’s legit so much writing advice on YouTube) but those are my random thoughts on the subject. If anyone has something they’d like to add, please do! Because I am absolutely always open up to tips and insights myself. You can never stop learning ☺️

#anon asks #thanks for the ask #writing #fanfic #fanfic writing

[yukidragon]

How far do you think Ian could go to get us back?

Ok, I know you have already written many scenarios where Ian loses his sanity and tries to get closer to M/C but seeing more there is... do you think that Yandre Ian could be worse than Jack?

Apart from that I saw a post where someone made a hypothetical scenario where Shaun stays with M/C and they start a family, only for Ian to show up...in that hypothetical scenario, How far do you think Ian or Yandre Ian would come?

It’s hard to say for sure how far Ian is going to go to try and get back together with MC in the game. So far, he’s resorted to making numerous phone calls, leaving a ton of voice mails, stalking their socials, talking about past memories in an uncomfortably manipulative way, swearing he’ll fix things, making promises, and he has a plan to��“fix” things that involves his new job with a starring role in a kids show.

While I did theorize that all the love interests in the game are yandere for MC, it’s admittedly not a theory that has much in the way of evidence. It’s mostly a “wouldn’t that be cool and these things might foreshadow it” sort of theory. It’s hard to say for sure how far Ian will go, even if this teaser gives some yandere vibes. For all we know, he won’t go that far.

That being said, I am still inclined towards this theory, if only because I think it would be very interesting. I think a yandere character can be taken in many different directions, as there’s more than one way to be love sick to an unhealthy degree. (I still need to get that post dissecting the yandere trope done, but, alas, I am easily distracted by rambling about Jack headcanons.)

Jack is canonically a softcore yandere. He has stated he can’t and won’t do anything his sunshine doesn’t want. It seems as though he supernaturally is unable to do anything without MC’s consent. There’s limitations in place for how far he’ll go when it comes to MC.

The same wouldn’t necessarily be true for another yandere.

I think if Ian is a yandere, it’s hard to say just how far he’ll go exactly. I wrote a what if where he poisoned Shaun due to that one yandere AU picture Sauce drew where he was covered in blood and holding a bottle of (presumably) poison.

Given the nature of the game, I doubt any yandere character is going to go as far as non-consent. I certainly don’t want to go there in any of my headcanons either. So while they are technically capable of that, from a meta perspective, there’s a hard limit on how far they’ll go there.

A yandere is someone who is not well mentally. Their feelings of love for someone have taken to an unhealthy extreme. This can be taken in a lot of directions, so it really comes down to your preferred flavor of yandere, I suppose.

For me personally, I think a yandere Ian would probably go as far as the what if scenario I wrote, not being intentionally violent against MC, but going to desperate lengths to have them back. Given how rough he is with MC when it comes to sex, he could make assumptions about his advances, but given too how apologetic he is, I think it’s entirely possible even in his most yandere mindset, he’d genuinely regret making MC uncomfortable with, say, an unwanted kiss.

A yandere Ian might even apologize for slaughtering other people in order to “fix” things between them.

It would be kind of twisted for a yandere to do some unspeakable acts of violence, only to cry and apologize afterwards... but still be willing to do more in order to keep the one they love. It kind of fits Ian to be this sort of yandere given what we’ve seen of him so far.

I doubt I’ll go as far as Ian poisoning someone in Sunshine in Hell though, even if I do follow through with the yandere route with him. I’m still deciding on the exact flavor of yandere for each love interest, but, in the end, it’s hard for me to not want to give these characters a happy ending. Sure it might be bittersweet that Ian and Alice can’t reconcile, but sometimes that’s how things go.

With a non-yandere Ian, I can imagine him seeing MC move on with someone new is going to break his heart, but he can only hopelessly regret the relationship he ruined, knowing it’s all his fault that things ended the way they did.

@channydraws @earthgirlaesthetic @sai-of-the-7-stars @cheriihoney @illary-kore  

#Sunny Day Jack #Something's Wrong With Sunny Day Jack #SunnyDayJack #sdj #swwsdj #Headcanon Ramblings #Ask

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

This post has been ages in the making. It was supposed to be a list of new comedy hours that I’ve seen/heard “in the last week or so”, but actually it’s been about two weeks since I started writing it and then had a weird sort of writer’s block where I was too physically and mentally tired from work (and also maybe rather sad about real life but it’s fine) to want to write anything. But anyway, here’s the post. Some comedy shows that I saw/heard a while and had things I wanted to say about them, just didn’t get around to it until now.

Olga Koch – If/Then (2019), Homecoming (2021), Just Friends (2022)

I heard Olga Koch’s 2023 show Prawn Cocktail recently, and liked it so much that I found the other ones she’s released. I think this is just about all the ones she’s done, since her 2018 show (which hasn’t been released) was nominated for a Newcomer Award, and no one did anything in 2020.

I really liked these. I think If/Then is my favourite of the three, though I don’t know if that equates to it being objectively the best one, the structure just really appealed to me. Talking about her computer science degree and seeing the world in terms of programming. There may have been a couple of times when the connection felt slightly strained, but I liked it anyway and mainly it worked. The actual stories are largely around gendered expectations, and how women get misogynistically praised for being “not like the other girls” if they defy gendered expectations, and obviously that resonated. There was some stuff about her grandmother that I really liked too.

Homecoming is largely about getting a British citizenship (she’s from Russia, grew up going to American schools in Britain so that’s why her accent is like that, she also discussed the weird position of being from so many different places), how she can dissect British culture as an outsider, her perspectives on immigration. Also quite a few stories about sex. There’s a lot of that all across the shows, and I enjoy it more than I usually enjoy stories about sex in comedy shows. Which is a bit, if told well.

Just Friends is mainly (spoiler alert, I guess) about how she met her boyfriend, and my least favourite of the three, mainly because it takes a lot for me to really love a show about how someone met their boyfriend or girlfriend. That was still good, though. Lots of funny stories, the throughline hardly took up the whole thing and was still fun. It had this theme of describing “ho culture”, which didn’t make a huge amount of sense to me but I think wasn’t really for me, and might make more sense to people who are not me.

Across all three, I really liked the way she put them together, embedding the themes at least two layers deeper than I would say the average show does. Also, all of them were just really funny. Like I said about Prawn Cocktail – it made me glad to know I can consider a stand-up show great even if it doesn’t have an incredibly Important Message involved (although there definitely were some Important Messages scattered across these other shows, and I appreciated those as well, also there was definitely some interesting messaging in Prawn Cocktail about the nature of curated “content” and its relationship to reality, so I’m not sure why I said it doesn’t have a message either). The individual stories are fucking funny, almost every time. They can make me laugh when I do relate to them, but they can make me laugh just as hard when I don’t (as in most cases, I’d say, Olga Koch and I have lived very different lives, aside from the unlearning of the misogyny around Not Like The Other Girls), which I think is even more impressive and probably a sign of genuine comedic talent, however that can be distilled. If you can get people to laugh because you said something undeniable funny, not just from recognition.

Her performance style is really engaging. She always seems hyper-aware of how she’s coming across, physically and vocally and within the context of all her complicated identities and relationship to the crowd, and she’s constantly stopping to examine that. I think that, along with the way she goes back and forth among topics and points, makes it hard to get distracted or bored when listening to her.

Urooj Ashfaq – Oh No! (2023)

This won the Best Newcomer award in Edinburgh this year, so I’m glad I got to hear both it and Ahir Shah's show, completing the collection of winners. I liked this one quite a bit. It wasn’t flawless, as people’s first shows usually aren’t. But it was good. The parts that were good, I thought, were really good. There were some really original in there (or so I thought – one of those ideas did turn out to also be in Olga Koch’s Homecoming show, but I think it’s very unlikely that there was intentional copying, just weird that in the same week I heard two people come up with the same idea).

Urooj actually lives in India, which gives her quite a different perspective from most comedians I hear. She’s one of only three comedians I’ve heard who live there, along with Anuvab Pal and Aditti Mittal. So she immediately gets a few extra points for doing it in her second language. She also seemed quite affected by suddenly being thrust into the limelight, in an unfamiliar country, for winning an award. Given all that, she did very well.

A couple of parts of her show required some explanation, because of cultural differences. Some reminded me of Aditti Mittal’s show in that way, having to explain to a Western audience that these things we’d consider normal actually are edgy comedy where they come from, talking about blasphemy or divorce. It’s really interesting, aside from everything else, to try to see what comedy is like in completely different contexts from what I’m used to. And the context affected most of the show, even the parts that weren’t specifically about culture. Because of course it did – everyone’s culture affects every story about their life.

Anyway, I think this show probably deserved the award it got. It’s my favourite out of all the Edinburgh debut hours I heard from this year: Alexandra Haddow, Tadiwa Mahlunge, Bronwyn Sweeney, Dan Tiernan, Mamoun Elagab, Paddy Young, and Lorna Rose Treen. Lorna Rose Treen’s show might have been better to people who like that sort of thing better, comparing sketch/character comedy to “stand there with a mic and tell stories of my life” comedy is apples to oranges. But I tend to prefer the latter.

Anyway, I hope she ends up recording more English-language comedy, and I’m quite curious to see what she does next.

Joe Wells – I Am Autistic (2023)

I didn’t realize until I started watching this show that I’d seen a clip of it before. It’s this clip that went viral a while ago, which came up in my YouTube recommendations and I think I’ve even seen it shared on Facebook. A guy saying he has autism and his brother doesn’t, and then explains all the ways his brother can live an acceptable life with the right supports despite not being autistic. He’s not the first person I’ve ever heard make a joke along those lines, but I think he did it very well.

I watched this show because it was advertised as Go Faster Stripe thing that was put up for free on YouTube, so I figured it was worth checking out. Didn’t realize until after it started that it was that guy from that clip, but this did very much back up my belief that it’s always worth seeing a full-length thing rather than just a clip. The clip was funny, the full show is much better.

He talks in the show about that clip going viral, and how weird that is, and what the reality behind it is. I enjoyed that, as a person who is strongly against the reductive nature of people consuming things in clip form instead of doing it properly (although, to be fair, until I recently I had only seen the clip of this show). I enjoyed this quite a bit. It also wasn’t flawless, I thought some parts were better than others. There was a whole thing about how weird it is that we don’t answer the question “how are you?” honestly, which I think is now about five years past the point at which we could say comedians had fully covered every angle on that one and it could be put to bed. But much of the show felt fresh and funny.

Oh, to balance out the fact that I’ve now accused him a couple of times of being unoriginal, I should say that in one part, he made the point that people are wrong when they think social media is bad for mental health because we see other people living better lives than us and get depressed about it. That’s not a problem, he says, but social media is bad for mental health because we see other people posting racist shit and get depressed about how many racists we know. This wasn’t a particularly funny thing to say, it just a really good point, that I have said multiple times in the last few years but have weirdly not heard anyone else say, so I liked hearing that reflected. Thank you, Joe Wells, for validating my beliefs. Because what do we listen to comedy for if not validating our beliefs? Facebook does not depress me because I see pictures of my friends with kids and wish I had a kid. That’s one of the few upsides, if I’m tired from work and feeling burned out, I can remember that some people have to do all that and then go home, where the responsibilities and the requirement to be around people is only just getting started. While I can cast off the responsibilities and requirement to be around people, and sit in bed playing Pokemon and eating eggs. Their kids do not depress me. What depresses me is realizing how many racists I know.

Actually, as I write this I’ve just remembered I have heard that point made once before. It still counts as Joe Wells being quite original, if I’ve only heard two comedians talk about something then that’s a small number. But Fern Brady said something similar in her Love and Chaos show. I guess it’s an autistic opinion. (That’s not actually true, lots of autistic people are also racist.)

Anyway, it was a funny show. Obviously a lot of it was, in fact, about being autistic. I’ve already heard a whole lot of the jokes about autism that can be made, given that I hang out a lot on the autism website. Despite that, he managed to make a bunch that I hadn’t heard before, so that’s impressive. I recommend it to the many people on this autism website who want to hear more jokes about autism. And like I said, it's free on YouTube:

Finlay Christie – OK Zoomer (2022)

This is one that I forced myself to watch with as open a mind as possible, because I’m trying to be less of a judgmental dick about gen Z comedians. I’ve seen Finlay Christe once before, when he did Dictionary Corner in an episode of Catsdown last year, and I believe my only comment on it was “Why was there a small child in Dictionary Corner?”

I also know that this particular gen Z comedian has been working on it for a long time. Because last year, when I was looking at all those pictures from that one Flickr account that’s been posting pictures from comedy gigs since about 2006, I saw some pictures from some Comedy For Kids event from years ago, and the picture of one kid was labeled Finlay. Which I figured must be the same guy, since the face looked similar, and it’s not a common name. He confirmed in the OK Zoomer show that it was, told some stories about his time as a child comedian (a literal small child, in this case) doing Comedy For Kids nights, and even showed some footage of one. This footage had James Acaster introducing him, which he described as embarrassing, because James Acaster was his comedy hero, he’d grown up looking up to James Acaster as an older really successful comedian so he hates that James saw the dumb shit he did as a kid. James Acaster. He was a big fan of James Acaster when he was a young kid. I guess I can’t resent Finlay Christie for being young enough to have been a fan of James Acaster when he was a kid, the passage of time isn’t really his fault. But come on. You can’t be allowed to be that young.

That instinctive way of thinking is the sort of thing I was trying to stop about myself, as I decided to watch this comedy special and give the youths a proper chance (well, one youth). And… a bunch of it was pretty funny. Not all of it. But he had some good jokes. Just, straightforwardly, said something that had clearly been written and edited beforehand until it was quite funny. Which is the sort of thing that I stereotypically don’t expect from gen Z comedians, right? I sort of think of them as all Tik-Tok stars who do dancing or crowd work instead of writing material. Well, this guy wrote material. I’d say that solidly more than half of it was quite good.

He didn’t write a lot of it, I noticed. It ran quite short for a full show that he took to Edinburgh in 2022; the recording I watched on YouTube was only 38 minutes. And that’s padded out with a few of those videos and things like that. I looked at the comments, interested to see the takes of the other youths on this youth, and saw a couple of youths say they normally only watch clips and don’t have the attention span for long-form comedy like this but he was so funny that they were willing to watch this long video, which made me briefly despair due to my above-mentioned hatred of our culture’s move toward consuming everything through stripped-of-context clips, but anyway, it’s fine.

To be honest, the part of his identify against which I ended up having the most trouble overcoming my bias wasn’t his age, but his class. Specifically, he dedicated a chunk of the show to sort of bragging about being posh. I say “sort of” because I guess it was meant to be “banter”, making jokes about how his “team” in life – as someone privately educated – is better than the other “team”, people who went to state school. But it doesn’t seem like a great position to take, really.

I obviously don’t hate all privately educated people, some of my favourite comedians are privately educated people. I was about to say I don’t hate them in real life either, but actually they’re barely a factor in real life, I think I’ve only ever met two privately educated people in person. I think private schools are less common here than in Britain, because on British TV they keep making jokes about how private school is for the privileged middle class and state schools are for poor kids. But I grew up solidly middle class, and yet don’t know anyone who paid for school before university. Well, almost anyone. I knew a couple of people, and everyone knew them as the wildly, ridiculously rich kids, so ridiculously rich that they lived in mansions and went to a private school. I can’t tell if private schools are more common in the UK, or if most comedians just grew up so rich that to them, anyone who didn’t live in a mansion was a poor kid, and that’s where the “state school is for poor kids” jokes come from.

Anyway, like I said, I like lots of privately educated comedians. Some never mention it (you wouldn’t know it about Alex Horne, would you?). Some are self-deprecating about it (Ivo Graham). Some use their experiences to write more informed material that criticizes the way the private school system perpetuates class structures (okay, I only know one comedian who does this, and it’s Andy Zaltzman). But not many privately educated comedians choose to brag about their status in their comedy act, even as a joke. Finlay was joking when he bragged about it. But still, it was fairly off-putting.

So it was a mixed bag, that show. He had some quite funny jokes about college and living in a generation that knows it’s doomed and sliding into DMs. He had some weird bits where he made fun of state school kids, which made it quite impossible to find him endearing. He then played some footage of himself as a child getting introduced by James Acaster and then making a dorky joke, which of course was very endearing. He said a few interesting things that dissected how comedy worked. I tried not to be a judgmental dick. It was interesting to watch, anyway.

Other gen Z comedian Leo Reich has a special coming out soon, I've heard a few things by him that I quite like so I will watch that. So see, I'm giving the youths a shot. Leo Reich actually featured fairly significantly in the Olga Koch show Just Friends, that I recently watched. He featured as (spoiler alert, genuinely, for the end of that show) the guy who helped her meet her boyfriend, that boyfriend being Sam Williams, a third gen Z comedian that I have now heard of, and Finlay Christie thanks Sam Williams for doing tour support at the end of OK Zoomer. So there, small world and I am plenty informed about the world of gen Z comedians. At least, about the ones who've hung out with Olga Koch.

Harriet Kemsley – Woman Child (2022)

This is another special that was recently released for free on YouTube. I watched it because I find Harriet Kemsley breathtakingly hilarious on panel shows. However, some comedians are funny on panel shows in a way that make me think I bet their stand-up’s funny. Harriet Kemsley, however, is funny that’s so specific to panel show formats (her way of interacting with others, and her odd takes on rules and format points), that I wasn’t so sure if she’d be as funny alone on stage with just a microphone. But I wanted to find out.

For the first little while, I have to admit, I thought I’d made a bit of a mistake with this special. It was about her husband (Bobby Mair, a comedian who’s also fairly funny on panel shows, he’s got a special on NextUp that I should probably check out at some point) and her marriage, and it was so slow and boring. Sometimes, I hear comedians do material about marriage and/or parenting, and I think I’m not enjoying this, but it’s not aimed at me, this sort of humour works because it’s relatable, so probably someone who is married and/or a parent would like it. But in this case, I was sort of thinking – I’m not sure this is interesting even to its target audience. I’ve heard jokes like all of this before.

But once she got past the first little bit, it got better and pretty much stayed on that upward trajectory, with maybe a few stumbles along the way. But the end, I felt like I’d just seen a really enjoyable stand-up special, even if it wasn’t perfect. This is despite the fact that she did come back to the not-my-favourite topic by telling stories of her pregnancy and then of parenthood, but I actually still enjoyed those.

A lot of the show ended up being about gendered expectations, how society views women, how this affects the way she parents a daughter. And that’s a type of parenting story that I can find interesting. I guess I’m more the target audience for that – I’m not a wife or a mother, but I am a woman, so I can relate to gender material more than to marriage/parenthood material.

However, a lot of it was still not particularly relatable to me. This was something that occurred to me while I listened to Olga Koch as well. It’s something I’ve thought of before, when listening to various female comedians who are particularly feminine (I think I first noticed it when I watched Katherine Ryan’s Netflix specials a couple of years ago). I can hear a male comedian tell a story about being a teenage boy, and even if there are some bits that I can’t relate to because they were specifically gendered, I can put myself in his shoes and find the humour in it anyway. While if I hear a feminine female comedian tell a story about having been a feminine teenage girl, I struggle to do the same. Something feels uncomfortable as I try to do that, I think because they so often tell this story as “this is what being a teenage girl was like, we all remember it, right, girls? We all remember trying to put on makeup and impress boys and wear nice clothes?”

And not only did I not do those things, but a lot of my teenage memories involve feeling uncomfortable under the expectations that I should be doing those things, getting in huge fights with my mother because I wouldn’t be enough of a girl, getting negatively judged by girls who did do those things right because I didn’t. Not all of my memories, of course. Lots of my teenage memories are about playing sports, engaging in various nerdy activities with my mostly male nerdy friends, and liking girls who didn’t like me back. So actually, I find lots of male comedians’ anecdotes about being a teenage boy quite relatable. I spent most of my teenage years trying not to think about what teenage girls were expected to be doing, and getting upset when I was reminded of it by people telling me I should do it. So when I hear female comedians talk about teenage makeup mishaps with an attitude of “I know all the women in the room remember this”, I instinctively don’t like it. I’m glad comedy like that exists, for the people who do relate to it to enjoy. But I find it difficult, and then I feel guilty about the internalized misogyny that makes me find it difficult, because I just gave several paragraphs of excuses for what boils down to me being more open to hearing things from male comedians than from female ones.

Anyway. Harriet Kemsley’s show did have a bit of that. But I think I’ve gotten better, in the last while, at not having an immediate negative reaction to that. So I made myself just listen to her stories, and that was worth it. She had interesting things to say about how it felt to be a girl who did want to meet the expectations of what a girl should be. And she had funny things to say when criticizing how absurd those expectations are, and when describing how much of a mess it was when she tried to do it. She then tied that into her parenting stories, talked about her daughter growing up in a world that has its own set of expectations, talked about still feeling the need to meet those feminine expectations as an adult but not wanting to pass that need down to her daughter. Tackled some serious subjects, remained pretty consistently funny while discussing them – I think that was the strongest part of her comedy show.

Daniel Kitson – Maybe a Ghost Story (2023)

I watched this when he livestreamed it on Halloween a couple of weeks ago (a show that was originally performed in 2022, and the version that was streamed as pretty much exactly the same as the 2022 version, it’d be great if that just becomes a Halloween tradition to do this every year), it was very good, I was going to add it to this but I’ve decided it deserves its own post. Which I will write another day. But at least today I’ve managed to finish most of the post that I started like two weeks ago.

[quietly-by-myself]

Chapter 7 - Smoke, Salt, and Asbestos

Masterlist

Plot heavy chapter! Also Dubheasa POV. Tell me what you think of Dubheasa POV.

Previous | Next

CW: non-human whumpee (changeling), "it" as a pronoun, emotional trauma related to "evil" parents, human evil, discussion of human nature, caretaker falls ill, multiple caretakers, self-hatred/negative self-talk, migraines, limb loss (past)

===

I have often been told by the mages I speak to that not all fae magic is old. I've pressed many times for what they mean by this, only to be told that as humanity is young intelligent life, the fae once were, too. They often call the current way of alchemy cruel - something that transforms the body over time. I don't see much of a difference between magecraft and alchemy there, but they tell me that fae magic was once cruel, too. It is perhaps one of the few things we can agree on. Ancient fae curses are a terrifying thing indeed.

===

“Since you’ve been gone, we’ve learned more about these so-called wicked unions, or, at least, I have.”

Father regarded Silvanus quietly. It seemed to Silvanus that he was trying to dissect apart his emotions and figure out what the next thing to say would be. Father was very good at that. Extraordinarily so.

“It’s all very difficult to say.”

Silvanus’ heart dropped. Father didn’t think he could handle whatever the truth was.

I’m not a child anymore.

“We had another child that got dropped here who is much the same as you, child.” Father took a deep breath. “She’s the child of one of these wicked unions. We wanted to protect her the way we couldn’t protect you.”

Silvanus’ heart leaped as he looked up at Father. Another like me?

“I can’t say this easily, child, but your parents were people who used fae magic to murder fae creatures. Tortured them. The curse upon you is an old-fashioned one. It prevents the child of such parents from ever having a child with the ability to use fae magic. We’ve yet to figure out how to break it, but we’re going find something for you, child. Your pain is from trying to use fae magic. It damages your body. We won’t let that happen to her.”

If Silvanus wasn’t already on his knees, he surely would’ve fallen on them. He wasn’t sure what to feel at that moment. On one hand, he’d never known his parents. On the other, they’d murdered the very people who’d protected him and raised him for all those years. It felt, even if Silvanus knew it to be untrue, that their sins were inseparable from himself. 

After all, it was the reason he was forced to leave.

Maybe it explained why he mastered such a volatile Source.

Maybe it even explained why he could only seem to hurt Briac.

What Father said was true - those headaches he’d developed as a child only seemed to grow worse as he sat there, waiting for Father’s next words.

Tears welled in his eyes.

“Child, please do not allow this to break your heart. You’re much stronger than you believe yourself to be.”

His words only made Silvanus tear up more.

“One day, we, too, will have to drive her out. It is inevitable. Dubheasa tells me you’ve done well for yourself as an alchemist. Though I know well that it may very well be against your oath, we hope that you might help us find somewhere that would take her in as an alchemist, to see if she has talent.”

Silvanus nodded with a heavy heart.

“There’s no way to break it?”

Father shook his head. “I’m afraid not, child. A fae that talented in curse magic… one so far gone as to curse an innocent child,” Father took a deep breath. “I dread meeting the creature that would be so cruel. Exacting curses on kin instead of the wrongdoer… I just hope our child does not have to join human society.”

Father took another deep, heavy breath. Silvanus could almost hear the weight on his chest as he tried to fill his lungs under its crushing power.

“I would like to meet that fae creature under your care. I hear he’s a changeling?”

Silvanus perked up a little. “Yes, he calls himself Briac. From what I understand, after they found out he wasn’t human, they tortured him for years. He um…” Silvanus tsked a little as he tried to put his words together. “Humans are awful. I hate them sometimes.”

Father regarded Silvanus sharply. “Human nature isn’t awful. Humankind is. There’s a big difference there. The fae can be just as cruel. Look at you.”

Silvanus sat in silence for a long time after that. Even as his conversation with Father came to a close for the day, he found himself lingering on that thought.

Am I really proof of any cruelty?

What if I had become like them, if I inherited their magic?

Maybe this is a gift.

Frankly, Silvanus had no clue what to think.

---

Briac could feel the magic running through the land in its body. It found the feeling of being stronger and relieved by such power disgusting.

Of course, it should’ve long accepted that it wasn’t human. It had known for years at that point. It was evil and was powered off of its evil magic. It could even heal its wretched, deceptive body with the magic of others.

It’s like they said.

I’m a leech.

Self-hatred boiled in it. It wanted to rip its heart out and be free of the pain of emotion and consciousness. Briac knew that its consciousness was a fabrication to fit in with the humans, but, perhaps, if Briac could rip out that heart that hurt in its chest whenever it thought of such things, it could be free of the pain.

Where am I anyway?

Somehow, the pain of its selfish heart had distracted Briac from its surroundings. The room it was in was dark, but something heavy covered it.

Blankets?

The sheets that covered it were thick and warm. In fact, they even smelled clean.

Briac pushed its head back on the pillow. The pillow was soft and springy, as was the mattress. These weren’t lumpy old things that were discarded and given to a disgusting creature. They were for someone much, much more worthy of them than Briac was.

The pain in its body was likewise overwhelming. The medication - the one that had hurt so much - had long since worn off. The pain of the broken bones, its neck - a list of injuries it didn’t dare think more about - had all come back like a train that had hit it. It couldn’t dispose of the blankets or clean them.

No! I can’t be beaten!

Panic was quick to take over. Maybe they were giving it nice blankets so it could be at peace before it was killed. Maybe they were preparing it for a burial and hadn’t realized it wasn’t dead yet. Maybe, just maybe, the blankets and mattress were a trap.

The doors opened to a magnificent figure. He smelled of old moss and the earth after a rainy day. Horns grew out of his head. The feeling of his ancient power was almost overwhelming. It made Briac want to crawl from its resting place and bow.

The creature merely smiled softly. “Rest easy child. I wish only to speak to you.”

Somehow, that smell of old moss slowly became reassuring. Briac felt the tense muscles in its body relax as the creature, with a long cape of furs, came and sat by its bed.

My tongue feels loose.

Why?

“Silvanus tells me that you came from a bad place?”

The great creature plucked a small mossen flower from his mossy, floral hair and handed it to Briac. The smell of the flower, as Briac smelled it, filled Briac with a sense of safety that it knew was magical. Regardless, it savored the taste of that fleeting sense of safety and relaxation.

“W-who are you?”

Briac’s damaged cords couldn’t even put together a simple sentence. It felt so completely and utterly embarrassed.

“You need not fear my judgment, child. That is squarely reserved for the ones who did this to you. I’m the spirit they call Father. I watch over lost, abandoned, and injured children of any race - human, animal, or fae.”

Briac nodded a little, still fighting that unfamiliar sense of embarrassment.

“I understand if you do not speak of it to me. I just ask simply if the other alchemists are treating you well? Silvanus, I have no doubts, is trying his best from my conversations with him.”

Briac looked a little shocked at the question.

“This creature has yet to meet many of them. This creature has met Maximilian and thinks that he is fair, if it is asked for such an opinion.”

“Fair as in kind or fair as in predictable in his tempers?”

The question was knowing. Briac got the sense that Father had dealt with this sort of situation before.

“Predictable in his tempers, Sir. This creature has not been hurt.”

Father sighed a little, another action that made Briac freeze at first.

“That’s good to hear, at least. I’m told you have significant injuries from iron. We will prepare you with treatments so that they do not hurt and they heal quickly. You are to leave with Silvanus, so you will not be able to spend much time here. He suffers headaches from this place.”

Headaches?

Briac nodded as though it knew. “This creature thanks you for your mercy, Sir.”

Father nodded to it. “Be kind to yourself, Briac. We will speak more at a later date. I think that you have much to work through before you and I will be productive in conversations.”

Briac nodded again, pretending to know. As the scent of Father left the room, it found itself longing for that calming, gentle scent.

---

Dubheasa never liked having the lights off in her quarters, but knew she had to compromise for her brother who’d started his migraines within two hours of entering the Repose. It wasn’t an entirely unfamiliar sight - the two of them had spent many nights together in the dark all those years ago.

That was a long time ago, it seemed. That was a time before they knew of Silvanus’ curse, when his migraines were just misfortune. That was before she found out that she didn’t have any talent for the healing arts.

Before my arm.

She grabbed her metal shoulder a little.

I need to get tea for him.

Caffeine always helped Silvanus. She suspected he still got his migraines over at the Hall, which is why he always had that caffeinated tea.

Maybe he gets it specially grown for him.

She grinned to herself. It would be very much like Silvanus to do.

Once she’d gathered the tea and crackers she made for Silvanus, she entered the darkness of her bedroom where Silvanus was lying to rest his head.

“Did you know?”

Dubheasa handed him the cup and plate. It didn’t take her long to figure out what he’d meant.

“Father did tell me, yes. I wanted him to tell you though. I’m not good with things like that. You know that.”

Silvanus sat up a little. Dubheasa guessed that his stomach was unsettled, which is why she’d brought crackers.

He snacked on them a little as she waited for his response. She knew him well enough to know that he needed the silence to put his words together.

“He doesn’t hate me.”

“Of course he doesn’t! He never did, Silvanus. He regretted not recognizing the curse sooner.”

Silvanus went quiet again, instead sipping on the tea. When he decided to pick the crackers up again, his bites were shy and small, as though he would hurt them.

“You’re so different. Everything is.” Silvanus gave a pained expression.

“You’ve changed, too. That’s what happens when time passes like this.” She waved her metal arm in the air.

“When you told me about the battle, that you were hurt but okay, I didn’t know what to think.”

Dubheasa laughed a little despite the seriousness of the conversation. “I’m not sure I did either.” Silvanus looked a little dejected so she tried a different approach. “I promise you one day, there will be a way to break that curse of yours.”

Silvanus laughed a little. “You're going to be the one who breaks it for me? Miss ‘I don’t want to study! I want to blow things up!’”

Dubheasa scowled at him. Sometimes she forgot that her destructive tendencies went back much farther than she herself remembered.

“Maybe not me, but someone.”

Again, they sat in silence. 

“I hope that someone hurries up.” Silvanus was quiet again for a while, snacking and sipping. His tongue was always looser with his migraines at full force. “I don’t know how sustainable being an alchemist at the Hall really is.”

Dubheasa nodded a little. “You’re talented but you don’t have the ability to let go, right? Alchemists seem to be really good at that.”

Silvanus nodded.

“You’re bright, Silvanus. It’ll all work out in the end. Curse, no curse. Alchemist or not. Everything will be fine.”

“I just don’t want to humiliate Maximilian. He worked so hard to get me here after I left.”

It was sudden, almost jarringly so for Silvanus.

“You won’t. Try to get some sleep if the caffeine doesn’t keep you up. I’ll see if they can make something for your nausea.”

Silvanus crumbled back into the sheets like the leftovers of a cookie jar. “Thank you, Dubheasa.”

She nodded a little before deciding to head to the door. As she closed it, she could’ve sworn he’d said something else to her.

“I love you.”

---

Previous | Next

Masterlist

---

Tags: @hold-him-down, @pumpkin-spice-whump, @thegreatwhodini, @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump, @nicolepascaline, @i-can-even-burn-salad, @whumpsday, @myhusbandsasemni, @just-a-whumping-racoon-with-wifi

#smoke salt and asbestos #whump #whump writing #briac #cw are above #whumpblr #silvanus #dubheasa

[herembers]

Your last post was crazy coincidental because I just finished watching death note yesterday for the very first time. But I had read your L ao3 story before knowing anything about because of how skillfully and beautifully you write. I wanted to say one thing: you did an amazing job portraying both L and Light. It was only when watching the show where I was like… huh I feel like I already know them. And that’s because you really did so much justice to them in your story!!! Light’s exploitative and eerie nature and L’s eccentricity were so well done! I wanted to ask you though, because my thoughts have been 99% death note since yesterday, how did you feel about the ending? I loved the anime so much and it’s definitely probably my #1. I never doubted that Kira was ultimately evil, but I couldn’t help but feel so sad at the end. I’m still dissecting my emotions but mostly I feel a tragic sense of loss haha. Sorry for the rant but you have a way with words and I’m sure your opinions and thoughts are thus probably that more captivating if you wanted to share. Anyway, good luck with the rewrite! Loved how it was before so I know I’ll love it even more whenever you get to rewriting it :)

Oh wow, maybe it’s because I follow so many people on here who have such fantastic and insightful analysis of the show that I’m a little intimidated to even try! This reminds me that I’m definitely due for another rewatch.

As far as the ending…I have a lot of conflicting feelings for how the second half of the show goes, but Light never stops being an entertaining character to watch crash and burn. I think the death he gets is the one he earns. You still can’t help but pity him watching him limp away from the inevitable at the end; it is sad!

Also, I have to say I’m psyched you read my fic and then watched the show haha. And to say you felt like you knew them already is such a compliment 🥲♥️

#asks #Ty anon #the first rewritten chapter will be up tonight or tomorrow!

[this-is-my-jaam]

Cultural Representation in Dragon Age/Fantasy in General pt.1

So I made a post not too long ago about my gripes with the aesthetic design with the Dalish in Dragon Age. A user by the name of fallowhearth then introduced me to the work of Bret Deveraux and his breakdown on the historical inaccuracy and generally racist design of the Dothraki in got, which got me thinking about something that bothered me, but I hadn’t been able to figure out why until I read the essay.

A lot of people claim to have based fictional races/societies off of real cultures, but the actual representation of said cultures, mostly non-white cultures, is based more on stereotypes of a culture than the real culture. The steppe peoples and nomad societies tend to be the most insultingly incorrect from my own observations. Really, any culture that lives in away that the modern western society would consider unconventional.

So I’ve already done a dive into Dalish fashion, but it occurred to me that practically nothing of the original aesthetic design for the Dalish seemed to have any relation at all to the cultures that the Dalish were based on. In fact, I can’t really place where any of the design is pulled from apart from the medieval fantasy chainmail (which is a European style chainmail btw). There are plenty of cultures that wore fur throughout history, but none that I could find use it exclusively for pauldrons. Which makes sense because what would be the point even. I know I already complained about it but the fur shoulder pads are so truly baffling to me. We’ll get back to this later, but the main point is that just throwing together random tidbits of a culture together without any understanding of the original purposes of literally anything that you are ‘representing’ sits really wrong with me. 

So lets dissect the cultural designs of Dragon age and their presumable real world design inspirations. Strap in again folks because this one’s going to be long and in multiple parts or else you’ll be scrolling for an hour to get past this post. Again, this is all my opinion and I mean no offense. I don’t intend to speak for any of the ethnic groups to be mentioned in this rant, only to point out a commonality in fantasy worldbuilding that really bothers me. You are under no obligation to agree with me, constructive criticism is awesome, but please keep it civil.

The Dalish  

Since we’re already here, let’s break down the Dalish. I’m going to approach this from a few directions: 1) The Jewish, Romani, and Native American people that the Dalish were based on, 2) Cultural bias and stereotyping in pop media and 3) Fantasy design tropes.

Just to clarify, this isn’t meant to be criticism directed specifically at Bioware’s art team. Artists build the image of the game, but ultimately answer to an Art Director who answers to Corporate. I’m sure the artists that worked on these games and designs are lovely people, and meant no harm in any way. They just worked with what they were given, which was not a whole lot if we’re being really honest. I think this was in part because the Dalish were already present in DA:O before a lot of the lore was super established and they only had so much money for development. You can clearly tell that a lot of thought was put into many of the other cultures’ designs for DA:2 and Inquisition, but the Dalish were in DA:O so they had to design around that to keep the canon somewhat consistent. So no beef to Bioware’s creative team, I’m going to place the blame on EA because they ruin everything that they touch. The writing team however, I have some questions for. Namely, why? Actually, I know why and it’s also EA. Moving on.

1) Jewish, Romani, and Native American Culture

Now, I am by no means an expert in Jewish, Romani, or Native American history/culture, so I apologize for any inaccuracies that there might be in this post. If you see something inaccurate or you know of any other parallels that you want to talk about, feel free to add to the conversation. I try to reply to all of the comments that I get and I appreciate learning new stuff and being corrected on things that I am wrong about. Again, please be civil.

None of these cultures exists in the aesthetic design of the Dalish. At least not that I’ve been able to tell. The writers claim that the original inspiration for the Dalish are the Roma and Jewish people. I’m pretty sure that this is because of both the nomadic lifestyle of the Dalish, and the persecution they face in lore. The Romani people are believed to have originated in India and migrated Westward, the rich culture unique to the Romani people being a melting pot of cultural elements as people married into the culture and it expanded. I don’t think too much of the Dalish was inspired by the Romani people aside from the travel culture, the persecution and ostracization they faced, and their mysterious historical origins. We’ll get into my beef with westernized views on minorities and mysticism later though.

As for the Jewish people, I’m not entirely sure which parts of Jewish culture the writers were using for inspiration, but I definitely see the historical parallels. I think that the early Elven Kingdom was probably inspired by the creation and fall of Babylon and/or Jerusalem. And the current treatment of Elves within Thedas and the Exalted March itself is likely inspired by the Church endorsed Crusades, where the Jewish people were the target of mass genocide for ‘killing Jesus’ because the Church is fucking awful and war makes money. The ‘leaders’ of the crusades were usually religious nobility, committing war crimes because religion. Both offending armies even used the Templar name. Fucked up history fact: Pretty much all of the crusades weren’t actually about religion so much as stealing territory or making money. Just look up the Children’s Crusade. So the clearest common thread that I can see is the blatant discrimination and persecution, so if that’s all that the inspiration is, then Y I K E S. I was already unimpressed with the alleged Jewish inspiration in the Dalish culture but holy shit.

To be clear, I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with using history to inspire your writing. Some of the best stories are the ones inspired by real historical events and figures. But when you’re building a culture for a story and you chose to pick only the darkest parts of the culture’s history and none of the beauty of the culture itself, it rubs me the wrong way. This is all speculation seeing as how I was not in the writing room for these games, but I honestly can’t find any other parallels to the Jewish people with my limited knowledge, and if I dedicate myself to fully researching all of the potential parallels then this project will never end. Anyone who knows more about the Jewish culture and history, feel free to share your own opinions and thoughts. I really hope that I am just too uneducated in Jewish culture to see better parallels but all the ones I’ve found so far are not great. I’ll get back to this later, but I need to move on to discussing Native American cultural parallels because this post is already way too long.

My assumption is that the clan structure, philosophy, and spiritualism is inspired by the Native American people. The clan structure of Keeper > First > Second > other professions is probably based on Chiefdoms. Many tribes also hade roles specified to individuals, like hunting or weaving or building and so on, and others were more loose. Philosophies like the Vir Sulevanin or the codes of living based on individual gods are probably inspired by various religious practices and law structures. It’s hard to tell specifically where any inspiration was taken because there are a lot of nations that exist under the term Native American and as far as I know, the writers never specified any tribes. I don’t take much issue on the clan structure and the idea of the Dalish cultural lifestyle being loosely based on Native American culture. The execution is ass. For one, we barely get to see any of this stuff in practice, in game. You get to do a little with Hawke and Merrill in DA:2, and you get bits and pieces from DA:I, but overall, It’s a lot of tell, not a lot of show. What bothers me the most is how the culture is presented to the player. Most of your companions and NPC characters treat Dalish culture as lesser or too different to even bother trying to learn anything about it. If you play a Lavellan in DA:I, your own character acts very surprised that Josephine knows even two words in Dalish, and yet all of the Dalish that we meet speak the King’s language (I think that’s what English is called in DA, but I could be wrong). It makes me uncomfortable on a number of levels to have the culture presented this way to the player, especially when your responses usually make you complicit or an active participant of this problem. Sounds a whole lot like the oppression and discrimination that Native Americans deal with today and have been dealing with for centuries now. The biggest problem that I have with creating a parallel between the Dalish and Native Americans is how Dalish history is presented, particularly through Solas.

If Solas didn’t exist, I wouldn’t really have a problem with how the Dalish culture was built around lore and oral tradition. A downtrodden but proud elven people is kind of a refreshing inversion on the typical High Elf fantasy trope actually. Until you introduce the High Elf himself and he shits on the entire culture for reasons that I still can’t fully understand. If you talk with him in Haven as a Dalish elf about the Dalish people, he relates them to ignorant children. This does not change throughout the game. The only time he actually expresses that he might have misjudged the Dalish has nothing to actually do with the Dalish, just that he likes hanging out with your Inquisitor. Um, what the fuck? Solas’ whole guilt over the past thing translating into ‘I hate the Dalish because they’re not like the old elves wah,’ fucking pisses me off. I get that the Vallaslin bother him because they were originally slave markings and unnamed Dalish clans chased him off for trying to tell them ‘you’re whole culture and history is wrong,’ but if that’s all there is to him hating the Dalish then I have problems. He acknowledges that his actions led to the elves suffering, but he isn’t willing to accept the elves as they are now. He’s mad at the victims rather than the problem which is ridiculous. But now, because the game decided that Solas is a tragic villain and most of the elves side with him, it validates his belief that the Dalish culture is wrong. And if that don’t scream Manifest Destiny then I don’t know what does.

So, the thing that all of these groups have in common, and the thing that shows up the most often in media, is that fantasy minority groups are based almost entirely on real life minority groups and are depicted almost always as victims in need of saving or extinct. I’ve got a fun fact, minority groups weren’t always minorities, and weren’t always persecuted. I’d like to see that in media for like at least five minutes or something because this sucks. And framing these groups as victims for a western coded player character to rescue is the classic white savior shit that I can’t stand. Again, I’ll go deeper into that later, but I’ll end it on this last note because I need a nap now.

Culture is not defined by suffering. The Jewish people and Native Americans have faced trials and persecution for centuries, but their culture is not defined by that. The people within a cultural group are more than just their hardships. It isn’t inspiration from a culture to fantasize only about their abuse. And choosing to focus explicitly on the hardships and then turning those oppressed people into the ‘bad guys’ bc of some forced grey morality bs makes everything so much worse. If you create a society ‘based on’ existing ones, you need to actually address the positives of a culture as well. Do not present the people in a way that implies ‘less than’ to the player character. And most importantly, Do not write an oppressed people based on an oppressed people only to try and justify any part of their oppression. 

And this is only part 1. Send Help. I haven’t even finished with the Dalish Art History project I already started.

to be cont.

#long post #like #really long post #dragon age #dragon age inquisition #dragon age fandom #dragon age rant #fantasy tropes #GOOD representation matters #this is separate from Dalish Redux #I just have feelings man

[ricochetingtears]

𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧

BASICS

name: angela pronouns: she/her zodiac sign: cancer taken or single: single

THREE FACTS

one: i started weight lifting last summer and i’m obsessed!! two: i love dissecting tv shows with friends and analyze characters and that’s might be the reason i love rp so much three: i can’t live far away from the ocean

EXPERIENCE

platforms used: oof i’ve used many it’s been almost 15 years LMAO but tumblr is the one i’ve used for the longest plotting / winging it / memes: memes!!!!!!!!!!!! but it means winging it as well but i do love some good plotting

MUSE PREFERENCE

gender: i’ve returned to my men since the pandemic lmao but i still prefer my girls multi or single muse: right now, it’s multi for sure. i don’t have time to dedicate to a single blog and i feel like the rpc isn’t as receptive to crossovers as much so it’s hard when your single muse is from a small fandom and thankfully people are more welcoming to multis least favourite fcs: i have a few i simply don’t like and it’s either due past interactions or just because i don’t like their faces asdfghjkl

FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT

fluff: it has become a favourite if done right ngl. before 2020 angela would be shook angst: okay so it’s still the one that i will jump head on and will always have some brainstorm to do. i also always find a way to bring it to my plots, there’s just no way it’s not present asdfghjkl smut: it’s a big no, i simply can’t write anything explicit without getting the ick and i overthink every single word if a thread even gets closer lmao i’m okay with headcanons though!

tagged by: @lindscys mentioned me in hers so i consider it a tag tagging: @misereternal, @danviers, @lingeringscars, @lgbtcorp, @eydetik, @jasperrs

#* ooc : about angela.