#there's like two scenes where they acknowledge trans people exist (but no trans characters)

[fromtheseventhhell]

I'm not sure how to get it into people's heads that Arya is a female character. She's not a boy, not nonbinary, trans, agender, or genderless. I don't intend this in a way to be negative or wanky, but her girlhood is imbedded within her character. The problem isn't that Arya stans are missing the point by overemphasizing her femininity and wanting her to be a barefoot tradwife baby making machine, but that we're stating it exists when the majority of fandom and the show itself have gone out of the way to minimize the relevancy of her gender. I'm fully convinced there are a lot of people who think Arya would be the exact same character had GRRM created her as a male character named Arry instead, perhaps they'd do a better job at acknowledging her importance.

What's most ironic to me is how these same fans will gush and coo over the sisters being more alike than we think, but only if it involves giving Arya's characteristics to Sansa. Well acktually, Sansa likes to ride horses just as much as Arya does! They're so alike uwu! But dare acknowledge that Arya has traits and aspects commonly associated to Sansa then not only does that get accusations of wanting Arya to become Sansa, but that it's solely about showing Sansa up and wanting her to grovel in Arya's shadow and superiority 🙄 Hypocrisy and projection showing itself.

Somewhat of an aside, but I recently saw a post on reddit complaining about the fact that all four of Daemon's children survived the Dance specifically focused on the fact that both Rhaena and Baela lived. According to the OP, one of them should've died and their post-war roles in the story should've been given to only one of them. Which at its core is really the main conflict between Sansa and Arya stans, no matter how much the Stansas want to cover their ears and play dumb. It's not about Arya stans projecting their sibling squabbles onto the two of them but simply the fact that it's not possible for two characters to fulfill the same role in the story, specifically when it involves two female characters. The existence of two Stark sisters is an inconvenience for the people who want the story to revolve around Sansa.

I have to believe there's some bubbles that they don't want to admit will burst if TWOW will ever be released and that's why they cling to the idea that Arya stans are the delusional ones. They have to believe that the parts of Sansa's seasons 5-8 storyline they like came from GRRM instead of D&D or else their Jonsa and QITN fantasies will fall apart. I have no idea how someone can watch the scene where Sansa tells Arya she couldn't survive what she had while Arya can only sputter out that she was training and believe 1) it makes sense for their book characters and 2) D&D didn't blatantly favor Sansa and Sophie over Arya and Maisie.

This ask came literally seconds after I drafted a post talking about this exact topic and it's so wild to me that we were both up thinking about Arya + her girlhood and wanting to discuss it 🥹

As for this ask, you really hit the nail on the head. Arya's gender is an essential aspect of her journey but fandom ignores that because they've decided that there's only one "right" way to exist as a female character. Arya's self-esteem issues stem from her being a non-conforming Lady in a misogynistic society, she has to disguise herself as a boy in part because of the threat of sexual violence, in Harrenhal she is assigned gender-specific tasks/labor, political matches are made without her knowledge/consent, she is threatened with sexual violence multiple times, and even her role within the FM is influenced by her gender. Her being non-conforming doesn't mean she's the complete antithesis of everything feminine. The obsession with propping up Sansa has ruined people's ability to perceive complex female characters, ironically including Sansa herself. They genuinely would've respected Arya more if she had died passively rather than fight for her life and you can't tell me that isn't misogyny.

That Reddit post is a great example of how people genuinely can't (or refuse to) comprehend the idea of two female characters occupying the same space. Cause you're right, that is the root of the issue. I think the only reason they bother with the fake "Stark sisters uwu" crap is because they've backed themselves into a faux-feminist corner and they don't want to look hypocritical for disliking Arya. So instead, they pretend to care all while rewriting her to serve as Sansa's prop. This is also why so many Queen!Sansa truthers are also anti-Dany + think that Sansa becoming Queen depends on Dany's downfall. They desperately cling to the show as canon, when D&D have openly admitted they changed the story because they favored Sansa/Sophie. They're fine with how show!Arya is written because to them, that's exactly how she should be; a subservient lapdog for Sansa. TWOW is definitely going to ruin that illusion, and one of the reasons I'm optimistic about it being released is getting to see fandom's reaction.

#ask #anon #arya stark #anti sansa stans #anti d&d #anti got #this fandom is bullshit but getting asks like this is why I'm never going to leave #cause I enjoy discussing Arya's character with people who just /get it/ more then I hate seeing delusional takes about her #I will continue to celebrate her character and call out nonsense for as long as I can #also the timing of this particular ask was just perfect *chef's kiss* #honestly I'd prefer that stansas just admit they don't like Arya instead of constantly downplaying her intelligence and trying to #gaslight Arya stans every time we make book accurate posts/theories #no we aren't delusional for thinking that Arya will be a leader lol and they don't really believe it either which is why so much #of their time is spent pilfering skills and plot relevance from Arya to boost their fanon Sansa theories

[bijoumikhawal]

Bite the Hand that Starves You: Chapter Three

Fic as of this chapter contains: discussion of abortion, references to drug use, intersex and trans characters, torture/graphic violence, colonialism and its aftermath, implied sexual violence,

Heads up: this chapter has some of Garak ruminating on his experience with bioessentialism, sex, and gender in a society that I think is pretty fucked up in approach to the topic and not friendly to those who perform gender "incorrectly", and I don't think Garak necessarily has an internal understanding separate from that even if he's uncomfortable with it. In general this fic is complicated because Garak is canonically effeminate and that compounds with the themes here in a new way (+ a lot of people I think would view the "progressive" thing as Garak shedding his effeminacy, which I find insulting from my own perspective as someone effeminate who is a "stereotype").

There is also a pair of scenes where it is ambigious if consent to sex was given or not, but it is not graphic. The first is when Barkan comes into the bathroom with Garak, the second is the scene after Julian and Dr. Ammshah schedule Garak's appointment. There is another with a violent undertone, which begins with "Garak had had an odd nightmare".

Kardasi: Peikirvi - would translate to something like "concubine", specifically refers to an individual that socially presents as male, and was assigned such at birth, but can carry children (and often could impregnate someone else), who is legally bound to someone. Usually this is done with a pre-existing couple who has fertility issues.

Cheoche and cheyeda: could be translated as something like "patron" and "vassal". "Che" in Kardasi refers to charity, which is viewed as a duty to society rather than a choice made of good will. More specifically, a cheoche is a wealthy family/clan who takes on the affairs of a poorer or weaker one (the cheyeda), legally binding the two together for several generations. This can be typified in three ways: the cheyeda being a family who was once great and has become destitute, the family of a beloved artist, or a family of the "service class". For the latter, having a cheoche often provides a stable income, food, housing, and better schooling and training. Some cheyeda even have inheritance rights from their cheoche. However, while the relationship is glorified as going above and beyond ones duty, it is a system rife with abuse. The Tain and Garak families are bound this way.

--

There had been a time, just before his age of emergence, when Garak had stared in the mirror trying to see just what was different from other boys and him. He wasn't the sort who was recognized for his unique position at birth- it had come later, at a milestone medical exam.

He hardly acknowledged the mirror as he exited the shower now, quickly pulling on a robe before the water could chill him.

He'd combed and squeezed the water out of his hair before stepping out- Julian had gotten him a warming tile for his pomade, which he'd set up before stepping in. The scent of warm wax filled the room, along with the essence of herbs purported as beneficial.

It was a frivolous thing. Garak had a pull out stove for making tea that he could warm the tin on just as well. But it did make his routine a little faster.

He dug his fingers into the pale green liquid, hot enough to be just this side of uncomfortable. As he tugged it through his hair, he could already see it resolidifying, leaving his fingers cool again.

Even after the diagnosis, his recategorization had been inconsistent, even private, which was his value. Would he be here at all if he was not recognized for passing between spheres? Women were not well suited to outside work, in the immediate sense and the sense of borders. Garak was not a woman, but he filled the role of one for the sake of biology, as well as the role of a man. His primary root in manhood meant that was how he passed through the world. The secondary root ruled how he had to live once the doors were closed.

It prickled along the back of his neck, the practicality of it all. Would he even know his own body if it wasn't so?

He tried not to think about the whole matter. He always had carried on that way; he had redoubled his efforts after… after his exile. He was quite good at it.

Most of the time. He'd been too good, lately.

He had behaved differently from other boys.

No one who knew commented upon it, precisely, as related. But it was… a trope, in some ways. In general, what one was born as influenced the behavior, if everything was well with the mind. When one behaved differently from other boys, you could assume two things: madness, or two roots. Because of his privacy, the former was often assumed. Until after Romulus, that is...

He'd run a comb through his hair again once he was done, to make sure the pomade was distributed evenly.

He clicked off the warming tile.

And if you need someone- to talk to, to help you, to-

Garak sighed, tied his robe tighter, and opened a comms line on his terminal.

---

Garak had had an odd nightmare, after Barkan had essentially proposed, the weeks between then and the ceremony (he had to inform his household, and the military, of his new addition, after all).

He was in his old bedroom again, down in the basement. That was how he knew it was a dream.

Someone was in the room with him. His limbs, eyelids, blanket, were all so heavy, he could not look to see who, or reach out, but he knew. Who else would slip into bed with him as he slept?

Tains weight shifted on the mattress. For whatever reason- the shift made Garak realize why his limbs felt heavy. They were manacled- securing him to the bed.

"Peikirvi don't get a dowry or dower. But I deserve compensation, Elim. I'm giving up something very important, after all."

It was- an old custom. Between a cheoche and service class cheyeda- other cheyeda, they had no such custom, for the cheoche demand compensation before allowing a marriage, no matter the type. And the service class only had it if they were lucky enough to have a cheoche. If the suitor didn't pay, the cheoche revoked whatever blessings had been given, and kept the... piece of their household.

The chains, in the meantime, prevented elopement.

It had been outlawed as something you could only do to subjugated peoples, decades ago.

---

Julian didn't know what he expected when Garak asked him to come see him. The robe, certainly, was not high on the list.

"Where was that a few months ago?" Julian asked lightly. "Don't tell me you had pajamas that whole time."

Garak stepped back to let him in. "I didn't care to change into them at the time, doctor."

Julian felt the urge to touch him, but kept his hands to himself, remembering the last time he'd done that in this room.

"Is everything alright?"

"Just fine." Garak sat down. “We haven't been talking to each other as friends much lately.”

Julian sat as well, following his lead. “No, we haven't. Are you still struggling with your appetite-”

“No doctor talk.” Garak held up a hand. “I called you here as a friend,” he emphasized, “and that means I don't want to hear a word about my… medical concerns.”

“Alright.” Julian clasped his hands together, for want of a better thing to do with them. “What do you want to talk about, then?”

Garak leaned back. “Nothing in particular.”

Ah. What a load of bullocks. But Julian would play along. “I apologize, but I've been too busy to finish the book you gave me last. Work.”

“Slacking off on our cultural exchanges…” Garak said with distant disapproval, as he looked to his left, lips parted. “What am I to do with you?”

Stay. Julian felt his cheeks warm at the odd thought. It wasn't as though Garak was deathly ill this time. This all would be over and done within a week, most likely. “I don't know, Docent Garak. What will you do with me?”

Garak’s breath caught, and he turned to look at Julian. He closed his mouth. “Remedial discussion should suffice.”

Julian laughed. He'd leaned forwards at some point, and he didn't bother correcting himself. “Alright.”

“Gender relations. These are relevant in every Cardassian work of literature, and in every aspect of Cardassian life overall. What have you observed?”

Julian leaned back. “Everyone is restricted in their movements and behaviors, women a bit more so. Ornamentation is more for women as well, but not entirely, and it's not necessarily seen in a bad light. Men are pushed towards the military, but in a lot of the older settings there's plenty of writers too. Er… men are generally seen as emotional, women as more stoic, able to separate themselves from things…” Julian trailed off. “Don't look at me like that, you put me on the spot and asked me about something rather complicated!”

“The most basic, distilled statement I can give you is this: men and women are distinct, but considered equal, on Cardassia.” Garak says, face impassive.

Julian thinks on it for a moment, and catches the quiet, hidden meaning. Those which are not distinct…

“I see. Interesting.”

Garak gave him a wan smile. “Is it? Are they not distinct to you? Or perhaps not equal?”

“Like I said before: it's complicated. What is a man, afterall? What is a woman? What-” Julian thought carefully. “I might see one of each that look and act almost entirely the same, within minutes of each other. Perhaps of different cultures, different contexts, or perhaps not. They are distinct but the distinction is- personal. Intimate.”

“Intimate.” Garak’s expression grew slightly solemn. “You would use that word, wouldn't you?”

Julian blinked. Clearly he'd missed something. “Is it wrong? When something is a matter of self knowledge- isn't that intimate, perhaps the most intimate something can be?”

A bitter air had entered the room, and it only intensified. The word choice had struck a nerve Julian hadn't realized was there to strike.

“Garak, I really didn't mean to-”

Garak looked at him and Julian immediately fell quiet. It seemed like the wise choice.

“Didn't you?” Garak rose from his chair, bending over Julian, hands gripping the armrests as yet unused. “You stopped yourself for a moment, earlier. You were considering your words. Is carelessness a common trait for a doctor?”

“I had my attention on the subject we were discussing. I apologize-”

“Whatever for? Whatever for , my dear doctor?”

“For not knowing that might upset you.”

“Interesting. That you claim ignorance. That you apologize for it.”

“Garak-”

“I don't think you're ignorant at all in the matter of intimacy.”

Oh, where had that come from?

Julian inhaled. “Look, I don't-”

“Don't what, doctor?!”

They'd ended up on the floor, somehow. Julian gripped Garak’s shoulders. “Garak! Listen to me.” Julian paused, uncertain of what to say, but knowing he had to say something. Garak looked at him, wild eyed.

“I'm here because I care about you. Because I want to support you. I didn't-” Julian's eyes fell to Garak’s robe, disheveled by their arrival to the floor. He pulled the lapels closed, looking back up at Garak. “I didn't come for anything else. I didn't mean anything else, than to- comfort you.”

Garak’s eyes were deeply unnerving. Julian had had a teacher with protuberant blue eyes once- they reminded him of a frog. She knew her eyes were somewhat unnerving, and put them to good use against any student she deemed necessary. The unease now, wasn’t that Garak normally looked odd. He simply looked like he was…

Julian was very careful where he touched Garak now, cupping his elbows to pull him up and back into his chair.

He slumped on the floor next to it. “I don't want anything else.”

He heard the soft rustle of fabric behind him- probably Garak gathering himself to sit properly. He could almost hear Garak thinking. Searching for the admission of guilt. The crack in the rhetoric to poke at till it all fell apart. A weakness to use.

“I don't.” Julian said again, resting his head back against the chair. Nails scratching against upholstery. Restraining the urge to reach out and what? Violence or intimacy- or both?

Garak rested a hand over Julian’s eyes. “You couldn’t get that out of me even if you wanted it.” Garak said quietly.

Julian sighed. They were not talking about sex. “No.” Not without medical intervention and a lot of planning, anyway.

“Why didn’t you say that?” Remind him of it, to be specific.

“Because it doesn’t make me safe, Garak.” Julian got up, shaking away the hand. “I could hurt you anyway. I’m uniquely positioned to hurt you. Surely, you know it doesn't make me safe?”

Garak was gripping the seat of the chair he'd previously sat in, nails digging into the upholstery again. “Of course.”

In the heat of the moment, no. But Julian didn't need to be told- logic didn't always stay steady in the heat of the moment. It had a nasty habit of flying off somewhere and returning just in time for you to feel stupid.

Julian extended a hand, then took it back, unsure of what he'd meant to do with it in the first place. “Of course.” He echoed, quieter.

“Do you ever want to…”

“Not really.” Julian doesn’t say that it doesn’t matter what he wants, he simply can’t. Refusing is easier to understand.

“I do, sometimes.” Garak admits.

Julian almost tells him that he prefers when Garak pulls his leg in ways that he has to carefully consider before realizing he’s lying, but he doesn’t.

---

Dr. Ammshah sat instead of standing, leaving Garak higher up than her. "How are you today, Mr. Garak?"

Her arrival had gone smoothly, though Julian hadn't gotten a chance to thank Sisko or anyone in hospitality or logistics yet. He always preferred to give a two weeks heads up, but, well...

Garak had his smiling mask in place. "Quite well, thank you."

"Glad to hear it. I've already spoken with Dr. Bashir a fair amount about you. Today, if I can, I'd like to do a physical examination, with Dr. Bashir observing, and discuss your care options."

Julian watched the subtleties of their interaction, rapt. He was hardly a stranger to bedside manner, but there was an underlying current to how Dr. Ammshah spoke and handled herself. Not just her body language, which Julian knew carried a second layer of weight in Kardasi, but something else intangible. He couldn't quite tell if it was effective yet.

"Do what you must."

Dr. Ammshah inclined her head, then handed Garak an already prepared gown. "We'll give you some privacy to change, then."

---

Barkan came up behind Garak while he was washing his face. Garak forced himself to continue like normal.

"Elijje. I don't need to tell you we'll soon be withdrawing from Bajor." He curled Garak’s hair around one finger. "The Bajorans know it. They're growing more bold and more and more of them are accepting the words of terrorists."

"I'll be careful."

Barkan tightened his twisting of Garak’s hair. "I know. You always are. But, for my peace of mind… would you stay in our quarters for the next few weeks?"

Garak stopped what he was doing and turned to look at Barkan, pulling his hair out of his grasp. "Pardon? All the time?"

"It's only for a few weeks. I'd have us leave sooner, but I can't leave wrapping up the mining project to Skrain- he has enough to handle with me helping him right now."

Garak couldn't help looking around the room. "You could send me ahead…"

"No. I considered it, but there's too much going on. We've already lost three ships with Cardassians trying to leave."

"Barkan-"

"This isn't a request, Elijje." Barkan grabbed his hand, and Garak only just resisted the urge to twist their positions and break his arm. Instead he was pulled into an embrace. Barkan threaded his hand into Garak’s hair, pushing his cheek hard into Barkan’s chest. "I've already discussed it with Skrain. He agrees with me. There's a voice lock on the door and Odo has flagged the security feed on the hall outside."

Garak took in a heavy breath. He knows. He knows something- probably about the mess with Procal.

This is just a pretext.

Barkan had the gall to laugh. "Ah, look at you shake. It's alright, Elijje. Nothing bad will happen so long as we're both smart about it." He stroked Garak’s hair. "Why don't you come back to bed with me for a bit before I have to work?"

"I dont-"

"Come now, it'll help you get your mind off things."

Barkan had him from behind, pressing his face into the mattress the whole time.

He kissed the fresh bloody bite on Garak’s neck. "Don't forget to take your hypo today. Fulfill your duty to me, Elijje."

---

"Feet flat on the biobed for me, knees up."

Garak’s chest rose and fell with a heavy, silent breath, but he did as he was told. Julian squeezed his forearm before rejoining Dr. Ammshah, who was pushing the gown up.

Garaks' whole body was taught like a strung instrument. Under the gown was grey, grey, grey, then pink under Dr. Ammshah's careful gloves (green), much like Garak’s mouth. She palpated there, pointed something out to Julian here. Julian took note of it all, distracting himself from the who and taking in the what.

She had been right in her guess as to what anatomy Garak had.

Once satisfied, she pulled the gown back down past Garak’s grey knees again, and hit the button on the biobed so Garak was sitting up.

"Everything looks mostly normal so far, but I suspect you're deficient in several vitamins, so I'll have Dr. Bashir test for that."

Garak nodded, mask apparently having fallen during the exam and struggling to get back up again.

"Obviously, you want a termination. In addition to that, I can flush your spermacathe so this won't happen again, though I'll need to do it manually. We can also remove the uterus-"

"No. Thank you, Dr. Ammshah, but I would prefer…" Garak paused. "To remain whole, with all my organs."

Dr. Ammshah nodded, unsurprised. "I feel it important to remind patients of their options, even if they're unpleasant." She looked at Julian, pulling him in, and then back to Garak. "The termination and flush will take about two or three hours. How conscious would you like to be for the latter?"

"I'll have to think on it."

"That's fine. Doctor, do you have any time slots that work with his normal schedule this week?"

"A few." Julian turned to Garak. "3 days from now, at 1900?"

"That will be fine, Dr. Bashir." Garak said, eyes closed to the infirmary lighting.

---

Garak laid in bed, controlling his breathing and meditating until the buzz of the wire responding to the morning's activities was background noise.

He sat up. Barkan knew, and that meant Garak needed out.

His exit was obvious. He'd have to kill Barkan- Ideally, Dukat too, they were the main two who'd seen him and knew his real name. Others could be dealt with more subtly. He needed to send a message to the Order, but he knew it'd say just that. Eliminate Lokar. Go to this sage house. Await further instructions for extraction.

The odds of killing Lokar and Dukat were low, even under normal circumstances. With the lock and watch protocols- unless Dukat made a personal visit, Garak could forget it. The Order would have to arrange something for Dukat later.

Garak touched his cheek. This move had always been risky, because Barkan was high profile and knew his name. By the end of this he'd probably end up with a new face.

That'd have to wait for later consideration. How was he to do this?

He'd check, of course, but if Barkan suspected him, he'd have swept the room. Any obvious disruptions would be gone, and it was possible most, if not all his hiding spots had been found. None of their medicines or bath products were ready for use as a fast acting poison. The lacing from his undergarment might work- and he had his knife, but ugh. Stabbing someone to death was a very involved, and loud process.

Garak tried his comms unit. Signal error, it proclaimed.

"Replicator, red leaf tea, hot."

"That request cannot be filled at this time due to limited resources."

"I'm sure." Garak muttered. His own comms would be easy enough to fix, at least.

---

Julian hadn't expected the first case to be the only one. Kurowaat was rather contagious, after all- there'd been a case of it in his first year at the Academy. In the heart of the Federation, most were vaccinated against it- bit it still ripped through the students, causing headaches, embarrassing laundry, and for the unlucky unvaccinated few, two weeks of missed class thanks to the full effect of the virus.

In Starfleet Medical, the saying was that it came in fives- if one person had it, four more would follow.

Most on Bajor were not vaccinated. And Julian was wondering if that phrase was grossly optimistic.

Dr. Ammshah naturally volunteered to help. She primarily was the Cardassian equivalent to an Ob/Gyn, but even without her specialty being relevant, she was still a doctor. One of the senior ones in her clinic at that. Julian had her checking in on the non-Bajorans they had coming in and helping with admin- scheduling, managing the shift madness, tracking the supplies they had and their use rate.

That still left plenty for Julian, of course. Most of the patients were Bajoran.

The station infirmary was, intentionally, too small to serve all residents. If the shop next door ever went out of business, he was going to immediately request to commandeer the space and start putting in work orders.

For now, the break rooms, private rooms, and quarantine bay were just as packed as the main bay, and Julian had given all medical staff a crash course on how to bunk biobeds as painlessly as possible. The surgical bay and his office remained empty for now.

Currently they had 46 patients with kurowaat, and more coming. Julian was going to have to go through his early patients and send the alert ones who had someone they lived with home with a good supply of diozaine to ride out the last week of the illness. And instructions to hydrate and change sheets often. But it'd be a few more days before he could do that.

He sat down between seeing patients and wondered if the sheer numbers he was calculating could justify using one of the storage bays from the aphasia virus incident last year.

It wasn't really an emergency. The infirmary being too small was just that much of a problem. He had enough supplies, enough staff- he didn't expect any deaths.

#cipher talk #garashir #ds9 #Ds9 fic #Julian Bashir/Elim Garak #star trek deep space 9 #Fic: Bite the hand that starves you

[faithlesbian]

trans angel thesis post

so me and @titsgirlbuffy​ on our joint watch noticed this line (in my header image!) from btvs s1e7 and immediately thought hehehe well he said he’s not a man, that means He’s Trans. partly due to the existing bank of star trek characters who clearly meant they werent human but just happened to phrase it a certain way -- its great fun to just take these lines out of context and run with them

[ID: angel in a darkly lit scene saying “I can walk like a man, but I’m not one.”]

the thing is tho the further we got the more trans angel material we kept finding. like we weren’t even looking it was just There. so it went from basically a joke to the actual lens through which we’re now watching ats so. here’s the trans angel thesis post i guess!

so obviously this line was intended to mean hes a demon. its from the episode where we first find out hes a vampire, so the writers are clearly using “not a man” to mean “not a human being” as mentioned before. but then there’s the flashbacks in ats s1e15 to when he was alive and definitely human which...

[ID: three screenshots of angel and his father in 1700s dress. his father says “It’s a son I wished for! A man! Instead, God gave me you.” while Angel looks hurt]

i remember another post (which i will try and find and link to) saying that darla was trapped by societal confines of womanhood and she was drawn to angel bc he was being crushed by societal expectations of masculinity -- “being a man” was something he resoundingly failed at in life. crucially also his birth name, Liam, is left off his headstone and no one ever calls him it again. in contrast to spike for example, who still responds to William, Angel seems to consider Liam to effectively be his deadname (which is funny yk given he only used it when he was alive), and both of his chosen names, Angelus and Angel, are much less masculine.

spike regularly refers to himself as a man, he also sometimes acknowledges that he’s not technically a man meaning not human, but for him this is paired with wishing he could be a man (”i know that i’m a monster, but you treat me like a man” btvs s5e22, “to be a kind of man...” s7e22). in every sense masculinity isn’t something that seems to cause him any kind of distress to be associated with, and while he still has a fascinating relationship to gender i think you’d be hard pushed to say he doesn’t identify as male (tho i’d love to hear any takes on that!!).

on the other hand, here we have one of the few times angel willingly refers to himself as a man in btvs s3e10

[ID: two screenshots of angel, crying and facing buffy, saying “It’s not the demon in me that needs killing, Buffy. It’s the man.”]

if there is a part of himself that he sees as a man, its something he associates with guilt, failure and weakness. obviously there’s other layers to this scene but i do think the word choice is interesting!!

and then theres what i consider one of the seminal trans angel episodes, ats s2e6. first of all he admits that he changes his appearance based on how he wants other people to see him, that he’s worried about what they think. the character he’s talking to in these scenes tells him since he doesn’t have an actual reflection, his outward appearance only matters when considering the people around him, and that there’s two versions of him -- “the image you’ve worked so hard to create, and the real you.”

[ID: Angel, looking concerned and saying “Maybe my persona is a little affected”]

his outward - masculine - presentation is something he maintains for the sake of what others think of him, it’s not an authentic expression of who he is (see this post by @buffyology​ on how he literally seems to get his whole wardrobe directly from mens fashion magazines). also in this episode, he refers to the aspects of himself that he’s repressing as “it” -- dehumanising but also degendering the things he doesn’t want to come to the surface

[ID: four screenshots of dialogue between angel and another character out of frame. he asks angel “it?” to which angel responds “the demon.” the other character then says “ah. But the demon is you.” angel says “no”, the other character responds “yes. That’s the thing you’ve spent so much energy trying to conceal.”]

he explicitly labels the things about himself he’s afraid of other people seeing with a genderless pronoun, lumping in the demonic aspects of himself alongside the other things being hidden by his artificial masculine outward presentation. he hates himself for being a vampire, and for having done awful things in the past, but also for failing to live up to the expectations of masculinity that he’s still hollowly trying to perform now as he was when he was alive.

masculinity is tied to humanity which is tied to morality -- he ascribes the bad parts of himself to “the demon” which is also genderless, he equates his failure to be a good person with his failure to be a man. in ats s1e15 his father tells him he’s neither a son nor a man, and later on in the same episode darla tells a freshly turned angelus that he’ll never be able to get his father’s approval and that his defeat will last lifetimes -- he’s still trying to prove himself a man and he’s never going to succeed. in ats s2e5 we get this exchange as darla burns angel with a cross

 [ID: three screenshots of a standoff between angel and darla, in the first two he holds her by the throat while she burns him with a crucifix. she says “See? No matter how good a boy you are... God doesn’t want you.” In the third screenshot she stands apart and says “But I still do.”]

Darla's word choice in this scene also links masculinity to morality and humanity - essentially saying he will never be a good enough person nor perform masculinity convincingly enough to be accepted by anyone but her, because he's a vampire and he can't change this fact of who his is.

but it’s not a moral failing not to want to be a man, and as much as angel tries to hide and repress it it’s still going to come through because it’s just who he is. while trying his best to Look like a man, he’s still finding ways to assert his identity through his choice of name and aversion to gendered language

[ID: two screenshots cropped to just show subtitles - “More than you might think, Mr. Angel.” “Just Angel”]

[ID: two screenshots cropped to just show subtitles - “Yeah, I’m gonna  have to go with Dead Boy on this one.” “Could you not call me that?”] And  then there’s this scene where he’s talking about the differences  between him and Cordelia and like, i get the joke but also. come on. he  cannot commit to calling himself a man without chickening out

[ID: two screenshots dodgily cropped and stitched together to just show subtitles - “Human. Vampire. Woman. Man... pire.”]  admittedly most of these lines have fairly obvious intended meanings and me and @titsgirlbuffy  were likely picking up on the subtext mostly because we were watching  both shows through this lens. it could be argued as a niche reading - up  until ats s3e6 that is, in which there’s a guy called Billy who can  curse men to become fucked up and evil, who tries to curse Angel, only  for him to be immune. A curse. That only affects men. to which he is,  randomly, immune.

[ID: four screenshots cropped to just show subtitles - “[Cordelia] I  don’t get it.” Angel replies “I don’t get it, either.” and Cordelia  continues “I mean, you’re a man, so, why didn’t Billy’s touch affect  you?”]   I cannot stress enough that they genuinely didn’t have a good  reason -- whoever wrote this episode hadn’t come up with a decent  explanation as to why angel was immune to the Curse That Affects Men.  This is not a great episode but I do consider it to be basically canon  confirmation that Angel at the very least isn’t cis.So to  conclude, Angel is nonbinary/transfemme and has been trying and failing  to perform masculinity well enough to hide this since he was alive. He  objects to being called masculine terms and almost never refers to  himself as a man, he changed his name to something more androgynous and  refuses to go by his old name, and he admits to dressing and acting a  certain way to seem more normal and masculine in other people’s eyes. He  associates the parts of himself that he hates, fears, and represses,  with genderlessness. And he is immune to a curse that only affects men.  thank you for reading this long fucking post!

[magnhild]

Before the Dawn didn’t ‘retcon’ Sun- an explanation from an actual writing major

Since the release of Before the Dawn, the sequel to RWBY’s After the Fall, I’ve seen a lot of different takes on it, but there’s a consistent one that it completely and utterly absurd- the idea that Sun Wukong’s persnality was ‘retconned’ for the book. The idea is, quite frankly ridiculous.

Before I get into why this take is so stupid, let me first explain what a retcon actually is, seeing as this fandom has so little understanding of the word. Retroactive continuity, often shortened as ‘retcon’ is a literary device that ignores or outright contradicts something already established in a work’s canon. For example, one actual retcon in RWBY would be the DC comics, while being canon, showing Ruby talking in full scentences shortly after Summer’s death, when Yang previously stated in the show that Ruby could barely talk when it happened.

A retcon is not something being explained differently or adittional information being given towards soemthing, even if these other details hadn’t been come up with to begin with. Salem’s backstory, for example, is not a retcon of the show’s opening narration, because not only is the opening narration very simplied so that it’s easier for the auidence to understand, but it’s also done by Salem herself, who would natutally not be telling the full story.

Now, the case with Sun is not the first time I’ve heard the claim that a character was retconned in the novels. While I don’t know if it’s at all a popular idea, one Redditor ranted at me in fury about how bad After the Fall must have been if it characterized Velvet as at all sassy because we’d never seen her that way in the books, ignoring my attempts to explain that, realistically, shy people are not going to be as shy around people they know well.

The couple of times I’ve shared these screenshots on Twitter were met with the same scorn I felt upon recieveing such responses (espeiclaly since the last comment was posted around two weeks after the rest of the conversation). So, when people failed to see that the situation with Sun was the same, it surprised me.

People claim that BTD characterized Sun completely differently as he is in the show. This is...weird, but I can slightly understand why people would jump to the conclusion that the personality he has in the book is somehow different to his personality in the show.

The first thing of note is that Sun still very much exhibits the personality traits that he’s known for; the positive ones. The very prologue of the book shows that, even in a fight, he’s still cheerful, easygoing and goofy, and we see several moments of this throughout the entire book. The second thing is that 99% of his scenes in the show are with Blake, who he has (or had) a literal crush on. Of course he would act differently around her and her friends than he would around his team, or people he didn’t care as much about. Right away, this shows that his personality was not contradicted and was, thus not retconned. But, of course, I have more to say than that.

The first big complaint regarding something that was indeed added in the book- or, at least, that we didn’t see in the show (given how Sun is not at all a character of focus) is that he’s shown to be angry and on-edge at certain points. And yes, this is not soemthing we saw of him in the show, but it’s also not out-of-character, and very easily understandable. Sun returned to his team expecting everything to be fine and dandy after a quick apology for leaving them, so when they don’t instantly forgive him and are still angry with him, he doesn’t understand, and thus becomes angry with them in return. He had an idea in his mind of how things would go, and when this didn’t go to plan and he continued to be confronted on his flaws, he can’t help but be a little salty about being treated this way by the people he’s known the longest among the main cast. For him, it’s a personal issue. The only reason we never saw him this angry in the show is because nothing ever personally affected him. He had no reason to be truly angry at anything because they were Blake’s problems, not his, and while he would natually want to help her out, he didn’t have any personal feelings towards the matter. But his team are supposed to be his friends, and here they are, not forgiving him after he apologized and everything. In his mind, he was being critizied even though he thought he’d fixed the problem with a simple apology.

The second big complaints are those of how Sun’s not-great relationship with his team throughout most of the book are contradictory to the last time we saw him in the show. People thought that his acknlowedgement of his shortcomings as a leader meant that he was going to be an instantly better one after the fact. These people fail to realize two major problems with this- the first being that there’s no rushing personal improvment. It’s very weird to me that people thought that Sun could instantly become a better leader when he was such a bad one in the first place. The second problem is that Sun, despite his name, is not the brightest bulb, and I say this in the nicest way possible. It’s made clear by both the show and the book that, while he acknowledged that he shouldn’t have ditched his team for several months without explanation, he still failed to realize the seriousness of his actions, or how the team dynamic was affected when he came back and took over again from Scarlet’s temporary leadership. As mentioned in the above paragraph, Sun thought that he could fix everything with a simple apology, and that it would absolve him of all wrongdoing. But more importantly, but the end of the book, he has realzied the weight of his negligence and that he needs to work harder to gain back respect from his team. And yet, critics ignore this and seem to this he acts badly throughout the whole book with no change in behaviour, when this couldn’t be further from the truth.

The third complaint, and the most absurd to me, is that Sun’s dismissiveness of serious situations and regular insensitivity in the book are out of character. Excuse me, but...did we watch the same show??

Perhaps it’s easy to forget because we haven’t seen him in show for a while, but these are two of his core personality traits, especially earlier on in the show. It seems that the fanon depiction of Sun as a sweet and loveable himbo who can do no wrong has caused a lot of people to forget his very prominent flaws, but Sun has always been this way, from as early as Volume 1. He treats serious situations as a joke or bit of fun, and he is constantly making insensitive comments, even to Blake, who he likes. Just to show a few, with replies from Blake for context regarding the second two:

From Black and White:

From Of Runaways and Stowaways:

From Menagerie:

Even in situations where he isn’t outright insensitive, he still frequently exhibits a struggle to read the room. He fails to understand why Team RWBY don’t want him and Neptune coming with them, he fails to fully understand why so many faunus take issue with humans despite being a faunus himself, and he fails to understand why stalking Blake across a continent was a very, very bad and creepy thing to do, even if he had good intentions. In fact, he never even apologises for any of this, at least, not that we saw, so it’s enitely plausible that it’s not soemthing he’s learned from.

So the fact that he continued to demonstrate this insensivity in BTD is very much in-character. That has always been a part of his personality, even though it’s often played off as a joke.

With all that said, it really bothers me that people list what is, in objective truth, a deeper insight into Sun as a character, as a flaw of the book. This is not a flaw. I’ve been studying writing through university for over four years, and believe me, showing that people act different depending on the situation or people they are around, as well as expanding upon any flaws they might have, is good writing. Something is not a ‘retcon’ because it contradicts your headcanon, or what you wanted to happen. That would be like if Nora were (not that I think she ever would be) confirmed cis and I called it a retcon because I headcanon her as trans. That would be stupid. 

After the Fall and Before the Dawn are honestly amazing books. They do have their issues, but character writing is far from one of them, and I would, in fact, consider it one of their biggest strengths. The way they flesh out both pre-existing and new characters, the way they can get us to love them within just 20-something chapters, is wonderful. They dive so deeply into even more minor characters, and make them all unique. So the idea that characters like Sun and Velvet were written badly because they were expanded upon and further characterized than they were in the show is an absolutely ridiculous concept, and one that I’ve hopefully changed people’s minds on with this.

Sun was not retconned. You guys just need to remember that the picture you paint of a character in your head is not always going to be the way a character is in canon. We’re not Adam defenders, people (at least, I hope not). 

Anyway. Read the RWBY books. I don’t care if you have already. Do it again.

#rwby #blaire rambles #sun wukong #rwby after the fall #rwby before the dawn #essay? #rant? #honestly i don't know what this is #long post

[variousqueerthings]

some thoughts on queerness in narrative (using cobra kai as a main point)

1. intro

It’s interesting getting to engage with pop culture right now versus even five years ago, where there was something kinda sordid and undercover about queer reads of text and even just talking about being into stuff very passionately while being queer in spaces that included creators was considered somehow icky (supernatural is always a good example, but definitely was just the most visible of these types of interactions between fans and cast/creators). Obviously that’s where a lot of modern definitions about queerbaiting and bury your gays comes from.

A lot of this kind of drama centred on queer ships rather than queer characters in their own right (dean/castiel, merlin/arthur, derek/styles and maaaan just a lot of white brunette/blond pairings, which is another post and I acknowledge that Lawrusso is also literally that... the irony)

But also this isn’t so much about “shipping.”

2.

There’s a danger of flattening out the ways in which we create a dialogue with text when it becomes just about whether or not our ships become canon (in general the way fandom discourse revolves around ships can be incredibly unhelpful for engaging critically with text) – for context I am queer and I’m queer through my transness and aromanticness and asexuality, and I also write a fair bit of shippy fanfiction and analysis, but personally am not (always) thaaat bothered about how the connections with queer-coded people are realised in text, as long as those connections are acknowledged in a queer way. How that works varies from text to text.  There is no one-size fits all proper queer representation.

An example: SE Hinton (because I just read The Outsiders/watched the movie) being really dismissive of people reading her characters as gay on twitter (why do we ever try to do this sort of deep textual analysis on twitter, why do creators – like Hinton – think that they ought to espouse opinions on twitter, why twitter folx?)

I wrote – kinda for the void, because I write a lot and I like posting some of that on tumblr, but I don’t expect people to engage necessarily – about how The Outsiders is absolutely a queer text, whether or not the creator intended for it to be. Long story short, queerness has been – and often still is – illegal and/or frowned upon in canon text, so a semiotics was created to make something queer if you knew how to read it. The fact that cis-straight creators play with and use those semiotics without knowing doesn’t negate the fact that that language is there and was deliberately created for that purpose.

That also doesn’t make it queerbaiting. Maybe cis-straight dumbassery, idk (wouldn’t be if you just went “huh, didn’t think about that, cool read”)

Intentionally playing with and acknowledging those semiotics also isn’t necessarily queerbaiting.

Definitely queercoding though.

3.

Anyway this is all a bit murky territory, so let’s talk about Cobra Kai, my current little obsession, and about Star Trek, my always-obsession. Time-was you could get sued for your Star Trek fanfiction. Nowadays that fanfiction can get turned into a for-fun zoom play and read out loud by the two actors who played the original characters (Alexander Siddig and Andy Robinson). This is very fun, new territory for a lot of us.

Meanwhile Hayden Schlossberg and the other writers of Cobra Kai are openly aware of the fact that lots of people read their lead characters – Daniel LaRusso and Johnny Lawrence - as probably bisexual (and probably as in love) and are on good terms with several active members of fandom and fic-writing. This is… so fucking fun. And it doesn’t have that weird overtone of shit like Teen Wolf (“We’re on a ship” winky-face, followed by that about heel-turn “just think it’s weird and strange” or however tf it was described later on - that shit: definitely queerbaiting).

In Star Trek there’s a slim-to-none chance that these characters will ever become canonically queer in the main text, but the acknowledgement and the light-hearted open engagement with it makes such a massive difference (not that Siddig and Robinson weren’t talking openly about it as far back as the 90s).

In Cobra Kai there is no obligation to make Johnny or Daniel canonically bi because there’s been no promise to do so – there is, in my opinion, an obligation to create a world in which queerness exists and not just on the sidelines. In the same way as there’s an obligation to generally create a world that accurately depicts what LA looks like in multiple other ways (cough, not mainly white, cough). If a part of that were through exploring how 80s era toxic heteronormative masculinity could throw people deep into the closet for most of their lives, hey, that’d be a neat storyline (such a neat fucking storyline), but it’s not the only way to do it.

While I do like canonically queer couples in stories, I also think it’d really limit what queerness can do for a text if that were the only way it was represented - sure I ship Lawrusso, but I find the above-mentioned analysis of toxic masculinity’s effects on the characters-as-queer-coded to go much deeper than whether or not they get together. 

I also would love trans and/or other-gender characters - we all know Johnny needs his “gender-what?” ignorance challenged and the potential for characters like that to fit into a narrative around trauma, loneliness, and misfit-families is kinda perfect (and when I say characters, I mean that plural, we’re not a one-size fits all).

Lastly I think there is also an obligation to do exactly what the showrunners are doing - what didn’t happen with Hinton or SPN or Teen Wolf or Star Trek of yore or so much other popular fiction: say, oh yeah, that language is absolutely there, we recognise it, we can read it and it’s not weird or sordid or something to be judged. So that’s already a massive thumbs up/promising start.

4. some final thoughts:

Idk where all this’ll go. I’m still missing a lot of canonically queer representation - and when I say representation I mean more than just shoving in a queer character into a scene and not thinking about how that affects the world that’s been established. But I’m feeling a lot better about queerness and story than I used to.

I’m hoping that whatever comes moving forwards in culture in general it’ll have some thought put into it. I’m hoping that queerness and queer allegory and coding will be recognised more and more as important reads of text and will go into informing how something is made (Hannibal, Black Sails, Sense8, Pose). I’m just hoping this’ll mean some interesting, intelligent, wildly varied narratives.

Just very excited.

#cobra kai #lawrusso #johnny lawrence #daniel larusso #my writing #garashir #ds9 #st: ds9 #julian bashir #elim garak #alexander siddig #andy robinson #i made an on purpose choice here to talk about m/m ships in my examples #to be very Precise in my comparisons #funnily enough all four shows i mention at the very end have more (and all canon) queer rep than that #i also had a tangent about the current weird discourse on what-you're-morally-allowed-to-ship but that isn't quite the point here #although in general i will reiterate that i find the focus on shipping to be very unhelpful and limiting and y'all need history lessons

[itsclydebitches]

(WLW anon) I really don’t like the “bad rep is better then none at all”. I hate that. We should want good rep, because bad rep has been used time and time again by homophobes as to say we shouldn’t get representation. To me it’s not “gay can have the same flaws as het”, it’s “fix the flaws in the het”. Also I know Renora being independent was a good, I was just saying in comparison BB. Also, yes, they were separated, but also didn’t stop thinking about each other. Especially bad with Yang.

Indulge me for a moment because I want to take a trip down memory lane and list some—just some—of the queer rep that has been important to me over the years:

Ellen comes out both as herself and as her character… years later, she’s a hated millionaire who is criticized for how she treats her staff

The wildly influential Buffy gives us two women entering a loving relationship… except then Tara is killed off, Willow goes evil for a time, and Buffy comes under fire for Joss Whedon’s everything

The beloved and respectable headmaster of one of the most popular book series ever published is revealed to be gay… except it doesn’t count because it wasn’t in the text and now all of Harry Potter is cancelled because JKR is transphobic

Kurt is an unambiguously gay teen in a hugely popular TV series, acting as one of the first overt representations a generation has seen… except he’s way too stereotypical and Glee is a joke now

Orange is the New Black gives us a number of queer women, including one of our first trans characters… but isn’t it problematic that they’re all criminals?

Brooklyn Nine-Nine hosts an out gay captain and gives us a bisexual coming out story that resonated with many, myself included… except now we’re supposed to hate all the characters on principle because they’re cops

Korra and Asami walk off into the spiritual sunset together… but they never kiss or anything, so that doesn’t count either

Steven Universe gives us a queer relationship and a wedding… but it’s an issue that this is just a kid’s show and, really, does it count when the rep is embodied by space rocks whose entire species only creates a single gender? Feels like a cop-out

Same with Good Omens. Yeah, Crowley and Aziraphale clearly love each other… but you never see them kiss or declare their intentions. It’s great ace rep though! Unless you want to level the criticism that asexual characters are always nonhuman

A character intended to be a minor guest becomes a show staple and eventually declares his love for one of the two main characters… except then Castiel immediately dies, Dean doesn’t respond, and they never meet on screen again

I finished Queen’s Gambit the other day and the main character had a one-night stand with a woman! … but everyone is talking about how bisexuality is used to represent her lowest point, so that’s bad too

I could go on for literal pages. Some of these arguments I agree with (Dumbledore), others I’ve pushed back against quite strongly (Crowley and Aziraphale), but all of them are valid criticisms depending on what part of the queer community you’re in and what your expectations are. My point here is that it’s all “bad rep.” I mean that seriously. If anyone reading this is scrambling for the comment section to say why [insert media title here] is actually fantastic rep, I guarantee that someone disagrees. Or if they don’t, give it some time. Just wait until the characterization becomes offensively outdated, or another part of the story ruins the relationship, or it comes out that the author did something truly horrific, or the terminology changes and it’s labeled as “problematic” now… just wait. At some point, any rep we feel is good rep now will be criticized, cancelled, and dragged through the mud. The rep that I personally haven’t seen much push-back against—like the beloved Captain Jack Harkness in Doctor Who, or Schitts Creek that just won a ton of awards—is wrapped up in the criticism, “So it’s all just about able-bodied, cis, (mostly) white dudes, huh? :/”  Even the argument that queer characters need to be written by queer authors doesn’t hold up. I absolutely adored Sense8. “Wow, a gay main character in a loving relationship with another gay man, both of whom enter a loving poly relationship with a woman, another lesbian trans main character who marries the love of her life on screen, an entire cast arguably queer due to them sharing orgy scenes centered around the emotional intimacy they share, everyone survives, and this was written by two trans women! Great, right?” Well, not according to the wealth of opinions explaining how Sense8 is horrible rep, actually. Every piece of rep we’ve got is either currently flawed or will become flawed in the future.

So what do we do with that?

That’s where my “I’d rather have bad rep than no rep at all” comes in. For me, that’s not waving the white flag. That’s not an oath that I won’t expect better rep in the future (I do) or that I won’t criticize the rep we get (BOY DO I), but rather just an acknowledgement of reality. The vast majority—if not the entirety—of rep is “bad rep” in one way or another, but I’d still rather have it than nothing at all. Because I’ve lived just long enough and studied media just enough to know what nothing looked like. It was watching all queer characters meet untimely deaths. Before that it was watching queer characters be derided and treated as jokes. Before that it was nothing but coding, where queer characters didn’t exist except in our own headcanons and interpretations. Obviously “bad rep” covers a very large range of issues and “They haven’t even confirmed this relationship yet” is a bigger issue than “This queer character embodies one or two, mild stereotypes,” but ultimately I’d take any of it over nothing at all. And enjoying what we’ve currently got doesn’t mean I’m willing to settle for it indefinitely.

To use an iffy analogy, imagine there’s a factory. This factory makes plates. So. Many. Plates. Big plates, small plates, plain plates, decorative plates, plates for every possible occasion in your life—and everyone with a steak for dinner is pleased as punch. You though? You’ve got soup. You need a bowl. Your entire life you’ve been struggling to eat your soup off a plate (it doesn’t work) and listening to friends and family claim that the plate with a slightly raised edge could be a bowl if you squint (it’s not). To say it’s frustrating is an understatement.

But then, one day, the factory starts producing bowls too. Hurray! Except as soon as you get your hands on one, you’re told you really shouldn’t be using it, let alone praising it. Look at the state of that bowl! It’s cracked right down the middle, ugly as hell, shoddily made all around… you’re not really going to settle for that, are you? And no, you obviously still want the factory to produce better bowls, but at the same time, this is a bowl. You’ve never gotten one before and you can finally enjoy your meal, even if the soup leaks at times. Sometimes a lot. But you’re still feeling better about your meal than you ever have before. And what you then begin to realize is that lots of the plates are a mess too. They also have cracks, they’re also ugly, many are also shoddily made. The difference is that the factory is producing so many plates at such a rapid pace that every steak eater is able to get by. One plate breaks completely? You’ve got a thousand fallbacks. Don’t like the look of this one? A thousand other options. You disagree about what “shoddily made” means? Luckily there are enough plates that everyone can find what they prefer! But the bowls… there’s only a few. Some are really expensive. Others are only available for a limited time before they suddenly disappear. Your bowl breaks and you have to wait months, years sometimes, to get another one. You’re constantly told to go buy this one obscure bowl no one else has heard about and yeah, you like it... but you’d also like to buy one of the bowls everyone is already enjoying. You find yourself looking at the plates and thinking, “I’d like that. I’d like to have so many options that the flaws, while still a problem, are much more bearable.” You’re still going to demand that the factory get its shit together, you’re still going to (rightly) complain about the awful quality of your bowl… but it’s still nice to have a bowl, period. There are still things you like about it, even if it’s a mess: the color, the size, the beauty of the shape of it. Its potential. You’re still pleased you have something to enjoy and that helps serve the need you’re looking to fill, even if that something is imperfect.

That’s “bad rep is better than no rep.” To bring this very long response back to Blake/Yang, I don’t think their problems negate their benefits. Is their relationship currently non-canonical and filled with a number of writing issues everyone has a right to be angry about? Yup. I express that anger a great deal. Are they still half of a team on a very popular show that is (presumably) set to be canonized as queer? Yup. I’d much rather live in a world where big shows like RWBY try to include queer rep and fail in a multitude of ways—with the expectation and hope that they’ll continue to improve—rather than in a world where authors a) don’t care or b) are too scared to try. Because that’s where a “good rep or no rep” stance leads. The danger isn’t homophobes because they’re, well, homophobes. It doesn’t matter if the rep is good or not, they hate it on principle. But if queer authors writing for other queer identities, or allies writing queer identities, or even queer authors writing their own experiences (like in Sense8) continually come under non-stop fire for their attempts… there’s a good chance that many people won’t ever try. We’re already seeing that here on tumblr with young authors admitting that they wouldn’t touch [insert topic here] with a ten-foot pole because just look at what happens when you get it wrong. And authors will get things wrong because authors are fallible people forever unlearning their own ignorance. So though it might sound strange coming from a blog that has turned into such a RWBY critical space, I am glad that RWBY’s queer rep exists, despite all the frustrations that I share about it. I think a RWBY with various types of “bad” queer rep is better than a RWBY with no queer rep at all, particularly when “bad” or “good” is so intensely subjective. There’s a middle ground between passively accepting whatever we’re given, and tearing into rep with such ferocity that we end up rejecting it all. There’s a space where we can be critical of rep and embrace the parts that work for us, simultaneously.

I hope and expect the het rep will get better too, but… that’s never going to happen instantly. To quote RWBY, there’s no magic wand we can wave to fix all our problems. Rather, it will take slow, plodding, meandering, lifetimes’ worth of work to see that change occur and I personally don’t want to spend the one life I have waiting for that perfect rep to show up. Because it’s unlikely that it will. While we work, I’d rather find the good in what rep we’ve already got.  

#rwby #queer #mymetas #Anonymous

[fuckyeahgoodomens]

When Amazon's version of Good Omens was first unleashed on the masses, a Christian group in America asked thousands of followers to petition Netflix and ask them to cancel the show. Netflix, not Amazon...

Clearly, Return to Order made a mistake of biblical proportions, and we're not just talking about the target of their wrath either.

Listed among their many objections was the show's portrayal of the first humans and the fact that God is voiced by a woman. Funnily enough though, one of the biggest mistakes the group make in this long list of ridiculous statements is their claim that the "angel and demon are good friends".

If the friendship between Aziraphale and Crowley upset them this much, just imagine what they'd think if they realised Good Omens is actually a "love story", as defined by Neil Gaiman himself.

Fans have been shipping the "Ineffable Husbands" ever since Gaiman and Terry Pratchett's book was first published back in 1990. Throughout its six-episode runtime, the show expands on this even further through the chemistry shared by its two leads, Michael Sheen and David Tennant.

Tender moments such as when Aziraphale covers Crowley with one of his wings have led to copious amounts of fan fiction which portray them both as a couple. Sister Mary and even a random passerby make similar assumptions about them at various points on the show. However, attempts to label their relationship as canonically queer are more difficult than they might initially seem.

When asked directly if Crowley and Aziraphale are in a gay relationship together, Gaiman told a fan online that, "They're an angel and a demon, not male humans."

At first, that might seem like a cop-out. After all, the pair are depicted as male, even if they're not in the human sense, and queer baiting is a real issue. Certain scenes in Good Omens certainly read as flirty, and far too often, the LGBTQ+ community are forced to read between the lines or label characters themselves in the absence of overt and meaningful representation.

During a recent interview, we asked Gaiman if he'd considered making this "love story" explicit or more concrete on screen to rectify that. Surely, this would have been the perfect opportunity to canonise these elements of the original text while updating it for modern times?

Gaiman said no, not really, referring back to a line in the book which says, "Angels are sexless unless they specifically make an effort."

He went on to say, "I like the idea that we know Crowley and Aziraphale don't really... these are two ethereal and occult beings who aren't really quite clear on what mammals are about, even. I don't really think that they've sussed complicated human things like gender."

On the one hand, it's easy to see why some fans have interpreted comments like this as an excuse designed to deflect criticism and avoid featuring actual queer characters in the text. However, this particular situation is actually more complicated.

In recent years, a surprising number of authors and screenwriters have declared that their characters are canonically queer, even when there's no mention of it in the original text. JK Rowling is a key offender here, regularly announcing that her books are more diverse than they actually are in a patronising bid to appease the LGBTQ+ community.

Crowley and Aziraphale are more obviously queer than most of these characters who were retroactively altered post-release. Sheen's character in particular is coded with elements of the Victorian Dandy lifestyle which acted as a clear precursor to modern queerness in both fashion and outlook. Still, confirming a sexual relationship between the pair on screen would ultimately rewrite what's considered canon in the book.

That's not to say the pair don't love each other. Gaiman has confirmed more than once that Crowley and Aziraphale are in love, but labels like gay, bi or even pansexual don't quite fit in this instance.

In our interview, Gaiman clarified that their story arc in the show uses "all of the beats of a love story" to make it "purer and more fun".

"Watching them meet, watching the relationship grow, watching the ups and downs of it, watching the huge breakup in the bandstand in episode three, and then watching what happens to them after that."

The idea is that Crowley and Aziraphale don't have sexual desires in the same way humans do because they weren't created for reproductive purposes. Therefore, their love is portrayed as strictly platonic.

Understandably, a number of queer fans have taken offence at this, seeing Gaiman's treatment of these characters as erasure, but comments the author made during a recent Twitter exchange flip that idea on its head entirely.

By saying he "wouldn't exclude the ideas that they are ace [asexual], or aromantic, or trans," Gaiman is actually suggesting that Crowley and Aziraphale could represent areas of sexuality that are all too often ignored both outside and also within the LGBTQ+ community.

Even acknowledging that the ace spectrum exists is rare indeed, and comments from Twitter users below this exchange highlight just how validating this can be. Platonic love can be just as deep as romantic love, so why does sexual desire need to be used as proof that love each other?

Asexual relationships are almost non-existent on screen, so the idea that Crowley and Aziraphale could represent this spectrum is actually far more groundbreaking than people often give Good Omens credit for.

Of course, labels are hugely important and the fight to see them used in this particular context is understandable. However, if Gaiman ever did decide to define the central love story as gay or trans or ace, then that would also trample over other readings which actually mean a lot to more marginalised members of the queer community.

At its heart, Good Omens is all about dismantling binary notions of morality and gender, and however you might want to label them personally, Gaiman has always maintained that Crowley and Aziraphale are in love, no matter what form that might take.

Both the book and the show are undeniably queer in this respect, whichever way you look at it, so this might be the rare instance where it's better to not define what this queerness might entail and instead just celebrate our "heroes" for what they are. Ineffable and in love.

#good omens #neil gaiman #interview #ace omens

[hen-of-letters]

To me, the Supernatural finale felt like a slap in the face. And then a suckerpunch to the stomach and a knee in the crotch. Afterwards some more punches, a bit more kicking, and a spit in the eye. So, here's my rambling account of just why I think it was so hurtful, and why I don't think I'll ever stop being sad and angry about how the show ended.

Stories matter. Everything that happens in Supernatural is the result of a decision. Each of these decisions carries a weight and a significance that resonates well beyond the screen.

Castiel's love confession in 15x18 is a beautiful, powerful thing. The love between Cas and Dean has been shown in the text for twelve seasons, but it had never been named in the text until that moment. Castiel's words brought their love out into the open.

However, his immediate and permanent removal from the rest of the narrative (aside from the briefest of mentions) is also powerful. He is erased from the text. After speaking, he is silenced.

Dean is silenced, too. He's never allowed to respond. With him never voicing his feelings for Castiel, their relationship is slammed right back where it came from: into the narrative closet.

Dean's love for Castiel is left as it always was: shown but not spoken. Open to interpretation. This is presented as a positive thing: there's a blank space left in the text where you can imagine them reuniting in heaven.

However, telling the audience that a love story between two men can't be openly declared and that their reunion can't be shown on screen is massively harmful. It perpetuates the idea that queer stories can only be told in the margins, in between the lines, in the silences of the text.

Claire is never shown on screen again after we hear that she loved Kaia. Kaia is rescued from the Bad Place, but their reunion is kept off-screen. Queer love is present, and at least in this case openly defined, but kept in the sidelines, unseen.

It's a phrase with a complex history, but it's telling that 'the love that dare not speak its name' came to be used as a euphemism for homosexual love. Queer love had to be kept silent out of safety. Even now, for many of us, being openly queer can endanger our lives.

Supernatural had a massive opportunity to say: queerness is not to be marginalised or silenced. Here is a love story that is central and spoken and celebrated. I think it's probably the enormous gap between the finale that we had, and the finale that we could have been given (which was the finale that the entire season had seemingly been building towards), that makes Supernatural's ending so heartbreakingly hurtful.

There's a reason, I think, why it feels so viscerally jarring for Cas' confession to never receive a reply or even acknowledgement. Disregarding every other episode of Supernatural up until that scene in 15x18, and with absolutely no knowledge of the characters, what we have is one person saying to another: "I love you". From this point on, every fibre of our being is aching for the answering "I love you, too". That's just how human beings are wired. That's just how narratives function. We hear a question and we need the closure of the answer.

When someone proposes publicly, even though these people are strangers to us, we are all waiting anxiously to hear the "yes". Imagine that you're watching a TV chat show, and then the host announces that someone in the audience has a very special question. Cut to the audience, where someone kneels and says to their partner: "will you marry me?" The camera moves to the partner's face ... and then cuts back to the action on stage. The proposal is never mentioned by the host ever again. You never find out if they said yes. Don't you feel cheated? Don't you feel, maybe, at least annoyed?

Now imagine you have two friends that you've known for years. You've grown up alongside them and you love them dearly. You think they're perfect for each other and you're sure they're in love with each other. One day, you see on Facebook that one of them has finally proposed to the other! You're overjoyed! But this is the last you ever hear from either of them. You never know the answer. You might feel just a little bit frustrated with the ghosting little fuckers. Yes, you can imagine that they're ridiculously in love and they've moved to Maui, but you never know. They might be dead in a ditch. They might be utterly miserable. You just never, ever know.

I swear, I'm normally all about the ambiguity, the open ending, the delicious possibilities of uncertainty. But here the question was too clear, the answer too obvious, the significance too weighty. The entire issue of Supernatural's problematic queer representation came down to this: could we see Dean say "I love you, too"? Could we see them live as well as speak their truth? Sadly, the answer was "no".

There could have been something powerful in the death of the author in Supernatural, in the exhortation to write your own ending, in the acknowledgement that meaning is created in active, creative collaboration between the text and the reader. But this wasn't handing over power. This was passing the buck. Representation is a responsibility.

In the end, Supernatural utterly dismissed the possibility of giving either the characters or the audience the power to write the story. We could have been gifted an open ending: Chuck defeated, Dean, Cas, Sam, Eileen and Jack alive and reunited, and the audience given free will to imagine their future. Instead, it gave us the most closed-down ending possible: all three main characters dead, other characters forgotten, and with nothing more to tell.

Going back to considering characters as friends made me think again about why the finale hurt so much. Yes, the erasure of Eileen from the narrative angered me because the decision was misogynistic and ablist. But also, I absolutely adored Eileen, and wanted her to be happy. She, like every single character in the show deserved better.

However, we don't only see characters as our friends.

We see pieces of ourselves in the characters we love. When we get to see those pieces acknowledged, and treasured, and loved, we feel validation. When we see those pieces disregarded, or silenced, or torn to shreds, we feel hurt.

Consider what someone might see of themselves in Dean Winchester: a queer individual, a war veteran, a survivor of physical, mental or sexual abuse, someone who has felt worthless or suicidal, a caregiver who has sacrificed their own needs for the sake of another.

What killing Dean says to these people is: there is no place for you in the world. The only 'peace' for you is death.

The same message can be read in Castiel's death. It's Castiel in whom I saw a piece of myself. I'm nearly 40, and when I started watching Supernatural in 2005, I didn't yet realise that I was maybe non-binary and definitely bisexual. The world looked at my body and assumed I was a woman. The world assumed I was straight. I was being told a story about myself. It wasn't until later that I realised that there were other stories, that there were other words that I could use about myself. Castiel's story was one that I could identify with (if I'm honest, mostly because of our shared social awkwardness), so his death said to me: if you speak your truth, you'll be shut down and forgotten. Happiness is not something you can have.

The deaths of Castiel and Dean find their bleakest mirror in that of the Kaia from the Bad Place. Not-Kaia wants to return to her own universe, even though she knows it is dying. She feels she doesn't belong in this world: "This place is cold. I don't understand it. I don't know how to move through it. So I just find empty spaces and I hide. This world doesn't want me, and I'm done with it." And, honestly, haven't most of us felt exactly like that at one time or another, for whatever reason? If we've felt different or excluded, if we've experienced physical or mental ill health, if we've felt like an outsider? Although Sam and Dean do try to get her to come back with them, she accepts death - just like Castiel and Dean. Visually, the moment closely resembles Castiel's demise: she's enveloped by blackness, her serene face the last thing to be covered.

Alternate Kaia is the embodiment of otherness. Her hopeless, voluntary annihilation is incredibly troubling. I wonder though if perhaps this moment is the text criticising itself: Alternate Kaia chooses death because the world is hostile towards her. If we marginalise others, if we tell people that who they are means that they have no place in the world, if we tell people that they can only exist in silence and in the shadows, then these people will feel despair. Depression and suicide are a real concequence of exclusion and marginalisation.

In contrast, we're shown Kaia being accepted by Jody. Castiel has already acknowledged that Jody is Claire's found family, and we know that Claire loves Kaia. Here is a hopeful mirror: Kaia, who has been set up previously as an analogue to Castiel, finds acceptance, and love, and a found family.

Dean and Castiel could have been given Claire and Kaia's ending, but instead they die like Alternate Kaia. The world doesn't want them.

I think that the erasure of difference is why the finale feels so flat to me. So empty, so hollow, so silent. The brothers' diverse found family is killed off or forgotten (like Kevin Tran, presumably left to wander the earth forever as a ghost); women are erased; people of colour are erased; queerness is erased. Sam and Dean are reduced to being cardboard cutout versions of themselves, devoid of complexity, with nothing to say.

For 15 years, Supernatural has said: choose free will.  You can make your own destiny.  You can write your own story.  Love can defy the will of God himself.  You can be loved and supported by a family that you choose, even if you are rejected by your blood.  In the final episode, every single one of these ideas was systematically trashed. It hurt.

What gives me hope, though, is how the fandom responded to this hurt: with creativity and kindness. Immediately, fundraisers such as The Castiel Project and Dean Winchester is Love were set up & have raised a massive amount of money. I don't think I'll ever stop being awed by this.

#spn 15.20 #destiel #dean deserved better #castiel deserved better #eileen deserved better #sam deserved better #every single character deserved better #we deserved better #tw suicide

[spadesinglasses]

3 Will Be Free (series)

The highs, the lows, and the disgusting parts of it.

If you love the series 100%, then don't read. Skip and let our lives co exist without acknowledging one another.

Once again starting with disclaimers or whatever you call this part just so y'all can already guess how my reaction would be.

I am hesitant to start this series mostly because of the fact that a gay man slept with a straight woman here. I have issues with it and will prolly have issues with that tropes they often do until it stops happening but ignoring that godforsaken part, the series is pretty good!

Now let's start.

Let's talk about the plot. The plot is about three people, namely Miw, Neo, and Shin, who ended up getting together because of the fault of one of them. Neo, a supposedly bisexual guy who ended up sleeping with a Shin's step mother have to run away for his life because the husband ended up hunting him down. A lot of people died because of it. Shin and Miw tagged along because Shin loves him and Miw accidentally killed Phon, the hitman sent by the husband. Now they have to find away to survive this turmoil and be freeeee.

Now let's talk about the real meat of the series namely, Mae, Phon, and Ter.

3 will be free has two sides of a story, Shin, Neo and Miw, and then Mae, Phon, and Ter. One got their happy ending, while the other got her tragedy.

Mae is a trans woman, dating Phon. Phon is a hitman under Thana, Shin's father and the husband of the dead step mother. Ter is Phon's best friend and Mae's acquaintance and eventual friend/lover.

Now why did I say that Mae, Phon, and Ter is the meat of the series? Its because their situation had the most weight despite having lesser screen time.

Mae and Phon's story was told by a series of flashbacks throughout the series, each heavily affects Mae's actions. Honestly I personally like how infrequent the flashbacks were, because the scenes they decided to go with is actually impactful. Each flashback tells us who Mae and Phon is, and how great their story is.

Mae and Ter's story on the other hand was great in a sense where they found one another to mourn for Phon, to avenge his death only at the end to decide to let go.

Throughout the series Mae ended up taking a step into Phon and Ter's life. She ended up killing someone that made her stronger, pushed her to do what was necessary at the end.

Mae's story is about self love, and how she views the world is only reinforced by the people she loves, instead of them going against it. Phon had been supportive of her from start to finish. He's willing to bend his own life for her instead of the other way around, and just let's Mae be the person she wants to be. Phon had never made Mae feel like she owes him something. Phon sees her as someone who is brave, strong, and beautiful. It was magnificent.

Mae's story just doesn't revolve around Phon and Ter tho. She has her own struggles and it was shown throughout the series. She used what she knows to keep Ter out of trouble despite the man doing his damnest to follow Phon to the grave.

I honestly love how they showed what she goes through or has to go through just so she can be how she views herself as. It showed the viewers who probably doesn't know jack shit about being trans and gave them her perspective to think about.

Another good point of the series is how they portrayed the women in it. Women empowerment is definitely necessary these days and to see unapologetic strong women who is still compassionate, still more than just violence is definitely refreshing.

The series showed that certain circumstances pushes people, women to do stuff that they did not want to do. And how men disrespects them. I really wish that viewers do not forget these two things that is essential to the series.

I want to point out how beautiful the backstory is for Neo and Shin. I love how they explained why these two somewhat know one another. Shin's biases against people, and how easy it is for him to judge people just because he's rich. Neo pointed out necessary wake up calls for Shin.

OH I also want to talk about Ter's grandmother. OMFG HER SCENE WITH MAE WAS SO FUCKING SAD LIKE BRAAAAAH. I love that the included a scene like that instead of just Mae being sad.

It gave Ter more sides to what just the viewers see him as. I was honestly surprised when Ter brought her grandmother up for the first time but holy fuck the twist where they showed that Neo's seamstress and Ter's grandmother is just one person, that was such a good twist.

Another "high" of the series is how they easily made the villains more than just their villainy. They showed them as non homophobic and actually apologetic for rape? MEN LIKE THESE EXIST? WHAAAT?? But in a serious note, it was such a good way to view these villains in a different perspective, it diverted expectations that was so good it makes you pause and go huh a little.

Still of course that doesn't erase what hey did, specially Thana being a head for a prostitution ring and John being worse than Thana but ya know we take small mercies to the little goodness that they show.

Hmmm other than that I don't think there's stuff I can consider a high.

Let's talk about the lows.

First low part is Neo's characterization. I personally consider him as the most bland, and 1 dimension character out of all of them. Hell even Ter has more meat in his story than him.

Neo is just a sadboi who went out to the city to be a better him. He struggled, got people involved and stuff like that.

No time or scene has ever made me empathize with his situation. I know he had it rough, and I am sorry for that but other than that, nothing else made me care more about him.

Another low would be PP's character. Its a given since he's just a side character and an implied love interest but I wish I could've seen more of him with Shin. Their chemistry wasn't build up well so it could be a bit confusing at the end. Also I'm not sure if its the role that has to change or the actor, but Toptap definitely did not fit that character lmao.

Let's talk about the disgusting part.

I can only think of one situation where I will fully say its disgusting. and Y'all can fight me about it or whatever but I will never change my mind. And that is that drugged up scene sex between a gay man and a woman.

I did not get any clarification with Miw's sexuality, but Shin has explicitly said that he's gay and likes boys. He also said that he doesn't like girls when his friends teased him about going to a bar.

Miw and Shin kissed in the start but Shin stopped and asked her to tell his friends that they had sex.

WHAT PROOF DO YOU STILL NEED FOR YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS MAN IS GAY.

and please don't say "well obviously he cares more about his feelings for Miw than her being a woman." you sound like a conversion therapy priest for fuck's sake.

AND THE FACT THAT THAT HAPPENED WHILE THEY ARE HIGH WITH SPECIAL BROWNIES? Fuck that. I skipped the shit out of that parts/episode because it was fucking disgusting.

They could've just made Neo the middle of the threesome, they could've just shown Neo and Shin, and then Neo and Miw. but nope.

ALSO if they wanna tell us that "here ya go Shin and Miw are now besties by having them have sex with one another" THEY LITERALLY COULD'VE NOT USED SEX AT ALL.

HELL CUDDLING WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER. THEM TALKING TO ONE ANOTHER UNDERSTANDING ONE ANOTHER. HELL THEY COULD EVEN WALK AT THE BEACH HOLDING HANDS. I DON'T FUCKING CARE JUST DON'T BRING SEX BETWEEN A GAY MAN AND A WOMAN WHAAAT.

AND PEOPLE JUST DON'T SEE THE FUCKING PROBLEM WITH IT?

I'm so fucking angry.

I love the series, I love how well they show situations and the lessons behind it. But this series I will never repeat again just because of that one fucking mistake.

I love Miw, her character is amazing, but what the writers did for her and Shin is fucking unacceptable. If you want to show a fucking upgrade to their relationship, it could've been done countless other ways, but y'all are fucking lazy and just decided to have them fuck, WHILE HIGH.

fucking hell.

ANYWHO. That is all folks and tata.

#3 will be free #thai series #glass thoughts

[republictrooper]

Thoughts on Discovery S3E4

I am so happy to see so much of Hugh. I always feel like he gets less of a spotlight than he should, he’s DELIGHTFUL and he deserves it after that bullshit they pulled with him back in Season 1. 

(Cut for spoilers beyond this point)

And his speech at the start of the episode was SPOT ON. That “Surviving can turn into living again” thing. Oof. I have BEEN there and I love to see it acknowledged. 

I also appreciate that Hugh has as snarky a bedside manner with Adira as he does with Paul (Seriously, they should just officially adopt them at this point CMON).

Also, are they just straight up gonna make him the ship’s counselor? I’m not 100% sure on how good an example it is if he’s just suddenly ship’s counselor with the requisite degree/training, but gosh, it was nice to see him in kind of a quasi-counselor role. It fits him very well.

I also continue to LOVE Adira. They have a good heart, and just the right amount of snarky teenage rebellion, and I really love that their relationships with Michael and Hugh are shaping up to be just and entertaining and heartwarming as their relationship with Paul.

Interesting to see the first appearance of Zora! It makes me a little taken aback, though. Does this mean Discovery gets abandoned like we saw in the Calypso Short Trek this season? If so, that’s kind of a bummer, given it implies that the Federation is going to revert to the Vdraysh again over X years. Then again, maybe that was just a temporary abandon ship by Saru and they come right back and they’ll retcon/”Clarify” that Zora was never abandoned for a thousand years and just has some internal clock inconsistencies from the time leap? It would kind of destroy the emotional core of Calypso a bit, but would at least tie up some bows and mean we keep the Discovery we know and love instead of getting a new ship just to satisfy the parameters of a 10 minute mini-ep that may or may not have been planned to coincide with the time jump storyline of s2/s3 in the first place. 

Regardless, I love Zora and I hope she gets a happy ending, dammit. And I hate the idea that her story might end abandoned in a nebula with Michael’s mission to reform the Federation ultimately doomed to failure and a reversion to some warlike V’draysh. And I can understand if they decide to give the crew a shiny new 29th century discovery but I LIKE the current ship :(

On the plus side, Saru seems to trust her as of the end of this ep, so I’m hopeful they’re “retcon”/clarify Calypso away from the “Discovery was abandoned for 1k+ years” thing that episode originally seemed to imply.

On the other end of that, Saru remains an awkward turtle duck, and I love him for that. I’m glad he listened to Zora’s advice, even if it didn't turn out well. This crew needs a COUNSELOR, ugh ;_;

Still, the follow up was nice, and that Tilly & Saru scene shows both why Saru is a good captain and why Tilly will be a good captain someday, if that’s how she chooses to go.

As far as Grey Tal goes.... I think it would hurt less if CBS/TPTB didn’t spend so much time hyping him up as the first trans character only to have him be DoA? It feels like Hugh all over again (and I’m still at least 60% sure they only resurrected him because of fan outcry). Like, these big corporations need to stop expecting props for queer rep if they only mean to kill said queer folk within a few episodes of their intro. And twist at the end aside, Grey was killed very quickly and unceremoniously, even moreso than Hugh, during a time when Trans people in particular still face premature death due to violence and murder and poverty at much higher rates than cishet people.

It also means we’re left wondering if Adira’s NB status is meant to be the result of Alien weirdness with their Trill symbiote instead of, you know, NB humans existing from the bout as far back as humans have been sapient.  Hell, As far as I can recall, their NB status still has yet to be spoken in canon, so we don’t know if their pronouns are she/they, just she, some other pronoun combo, and/or if they don’t even yet realize they’re NB at this point in the story

I dunno, I feel like we deserve better, as usual. Their love was so wonderful, and then Gray just dies? I don't know. It feels like GLAAD hyping this is just like GLAAD Hyping Assassin’s Creed Odyssey while ignore the compulsory het they put in the first DLC all over again.

As much as I love Discovery, it is REALLY hard to love the part where they have to give up so much pain and loss for our queer people, especially related to specifically being queer and in love with other queer people. We get enough of that pain and loss IRL.

I hope they can make something good of Grey and Adira’s story. Still. Can’t we just get some nice, safe, HAPPY queers for once? What is this obsession with making them all go through hell? Hugh died and left Stamets traumatized and we had to wait for a completely new season before Hugh came back with NO Guarantee he would and just some wishful thinking on the Mushroom magic, Jett lost her wife, and now Grey and Adira are repeating Hugh and Paul’s story. I suppose there’s a path for somehow bringing Grey back corporeally since he appears to somehow be a separate entity from Tal who can appear to Adira, but why do we have to go through the same song and dance with him we went through with Hugh? Can we just have one happy Queer couple that doesn’t get separated by death, temporarily or permanently?

I don’t think it’s a dealbreaker for the show for me, but I don’t blame anyone for whom it is, and at the least it’s just part of an exhausting pattern. 

Still, if I can disconnect from that for just a moment, I still love Adira a whole lot. I am glad they’re sticking around at least and I hope we continue to see them being affectionately snarky with Michael and Hugh and Paul for a long time to come, but I also hope the narrative is more open about their NB status and doesn’t fall back “it’s the symbiont,” damn it. And that final scene, in another world it would have been absolutely AMAZING just... good, solid queer love, two gay as hell kids being affectionate together. It would be SO GOOD if it wasn’t tainted by Discovery’s weird insistence on inserting death in every queer relationship.

I’m so glad Keyla is finally getting help. I’m really am. She deserves it (and cmon, I’m not saying TPTB owes us Joyla, but that look during the exercise part and that ‘lean against each other’ thing in the shuttle bay at the end were NOT straight).

Anyway, final word:

Trill stuff: Interesting and cool

Adira: The best

Queer stuff: STOP KILLING YOUR GAYS ITS TAINTING EVERYTHING AND I HATE IT but also I still smiled and teared up a bit at the queer affection.

B-Plot: Painful, but I appreciate the exploration of trauma and the steps toward healing

#star trek discovery #cw death #cw queerphobia #cw queer feelings about queer death #cw transphobia #spoilers #star trek discovery spoilers

[breakingbadfics]

Death of the author

CW: Light discussion of politics, mentions of the Alt-Right, and White Supremacists. 

Consider this a “Change of Pace” entry. I’m trying to figure out what the next essay is to be about as well as the eventual long term for this blog. 

I wrote this essay back in mid 2019, long before the idea of this blog would come to mind, it’s been lightly edited prior to posting and added to. and I think this essay shows some of my influences much more heavily than my other writings.

What does My Little Pony and The Matrix have in common?  Death of the Author. 

Death of the Author is not to be confused with “Separating the Artist from the Art,” a self explanatory concept to distance a work from a creator who’s beliefs are more than a little unpleasant, easiest example is acknowledging that, yes,  H.P. Lovecraft was a Mega-racist, however, his contributions to the horror genre have created a base that is nearly ubiquitous with the genre to this day, like wise with Orson Scott Card. this concept in itself is an especially controversial subject, but is not the focus of this piece.

Death of the Author is what allowed The Matrix, a movie with a collection of metaphors about being an lgbt person, and an activist for the rights of yourself and your allies to be grossly misinterpreted as a way to justify being a bigot, the most egregious misinterpretation being that of “The Red Pill Scene.”

In the context of the film, The Red Pill Scene is the part of the traditional heroes story where the hero “accepts the call”, Neo is quite literally making the choice to leave the safe world he’s been living in behind and embark on his adventure that will result in a death and rebirth into being The One who will save humanity. In the now very much understood to be the direct metaphor, it’s a scene in which Neo, the stand-in for a lgbt person, specifically a trans person, is being told by a much older lgbt person “You are trans, you have the choice to embrace it, but regardless of what choice you make from here on out the road ahead is going to be bumpy and rough on you, because the system around you is designed to make sure people like us aren’t able to prosper, and if you join us, you won’t be able to opt out.” 

That is the very understood metaphor that most people accept with the modern understanding after The Wachowski’s came out as Lily and Lana in the “post-matrix trilogy” reality of the real world.

However due to the Moral Neutrality of Death of the Author in other circles the Red Pill(and all the other metaphors in the film) takes on an alternative meaning. And I can be “polite” in my explaing the bad take on how this scene plays out, but just to hammer the point home we’ll get dirty so you can know where the take is coming from, The Red Pill Scene for White supremeacists, and The alt-right (but I repeat myself) is such.  Neo, a disgruntled white person is being told that the world is controlled by soulless machines. Jews, people of color, etx. Everyone around him is mind controlled and can and will attempt to stop him from saving the people smart enough to also realise they’re being held captive by non-whites and save them all. This of course, all being told to him by Morpheus, a black man. So have fun working your head around that. 

This of course the most extreme example being the most ubiquitous, poke around on chan sites and sooner or later you’ll see the phrase “red pill” having been memetically adjusted to mean “hey tell me about this thing” or even more specifically “I already had an opinion about this but either way I want you to confirm my choice.” But I digress. 

These two interpretations are so wildly on the opposite ends of the spectrum that the only commonalities between them is “You will likely need to be violent at some point” 

I’m naturally only covering the two interpretations, the matrix itself has been picked apart by an untold number of people and people interpret it in as many ways as possible in terms of philosophical meaning. That is the nature of Death of The Author. 

Death of the Author also covers in a round-a-bout fashion, selective canon, a subjective acknowledgement of canon elements throughout a long lived franchise- see; Star Wars, Star Trek, the belief that there was never any sequels to The Matrix. This variant of the philosophy allows one to be able to continue interactions with a text, specifically a text that consists of multiple volumes (or contributions, each one made by an individual author) but also deny interactions with parts that they personally dislike. 

More often than not, you can attribute the death of the author to a bad take in a case of fiction, another primary example being Fight Club, often missed for the scathing critique of unhealthy male behaviour and propped up as some sort of moral guideline for how to live your life. Which is again, not to say this is the fault of Death of The Author as a philosophy, it is morally neutral, these bad takes can more often be attribued to the simple fact that unless directly stating it most attempts at satire or parody will have a contingent of people who agree with what is said, not what is meant, and death of the author unfortunately does make that..very easy, for good, or ill. 

Where does My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fit in with all this?  Well there are certainly alt-right members of the brony fandom who are painfully missing the point, but we’ve already dwelled on the negative enough, so let’s get happy. 

In Episode 1 of Season 1, the first part of a two part pilot, in the background of a shot during a party scene; a pony with a grey coat and blonde mane and tail is seen in the background. This particular pony stood out the most amongst other background characters due to a mistake caused by the animation staff. According to the supervising director at the time, this particular error was spotted after hasbro greenlit the episode for air, and because it amused him he chose not to order a correction so it was left in as a nice little easter egg. 

The nameless background pony would eventually be caught by 4chan among other places and very rapidly developed a following of fans and given a nickname, Derpy Hooves. This particular following and new nickname would echo back to shows staff becoming the name internally referred to by the show’s staff. 

Friendship is magic creator Lauren Faust, who also enjoyed the popularity of the character when asked in an interview would state that a character named Ditzy Doo existed in an unaired episode, that would be implied to be this particular background pony, So naturally now depending on the fan this particular character would be reffered to as either Derpy Hooves, or Ditzy Doo.  

Ditzy Doo would go on to become a recurring easter egg with in the show, something similar to that of “where’s waldo” but with horses. This practice would continue until episode 14 of season 2  where the character would have a set of spoken lines and would be addressed by name. This however resulted in a degree of controversy in which some people expressed concern that the presentation of the character was an offensive attempt at portraying people with mental or physical disabilities. This event resulted in the episode being altered in future airings and the character disappearing from the show for the vast majority of Season 3. Beyond Season 3 the character would continue to appear until season 5 where they would finally have a voiced role in the 100th episode of the show, and then eventually having another speaking role in the christmas special “The best gift ever.”  It is also worth noting that Hasbro never gave her an “official name” with almost all of Ditzy’s merchandise either having no name present, or more often than not a singular image of a muffin in place of a name, even going so far as to have “Muffins” be the credited name she was given in all voiced instances of the show. 

Muffins, Ditzy Doo, or Derpy Hooves isn’t the only case of background characters growing a large following of fans with in the show; a variety of characters have been swept up by the fans, given names and personalities built entirely out of bit gags. Lyra, Bon Bon, Vinyl Scratch, Octavia Melody, and who knows how many more have all been seen in background moments which would be built on by fans and then echo back into the staff to be integrated into the show further. One would say this is fanon but at the end of the day, the writers and show staff had very little more intent with the characters beyond “does this background character look good?” and “Does this bit part character stand out enough to automatically be recognizable for the bit they need to be doing” it is still what I believe to be an example of Death of The Author, an act of choosing to ignore the intended meaning,and giving what amounts to window dressings a full life as fleshed out characters in fan content and in small instances of the show; an interpretation separate from the writers original intent. 

Now the question is does someone need to actively defy the author to participate in The Death There-of? No. I don’t believe so.  In much the same fashion no one need actually be a clan member to inadvertently say or do something that's passive aggressively racist(yes a bit of an extreme, I know) one need not actively defy the author, merely ascribe to an alternate interpretation of a work of fiction. Refer to Fight Club, the film does everything it can with out directly stating “most of the people in Fight Club and later Project Mayhem are bad people, because they were already doing the things Tyler Durden was ascribing to” and almost unilaterally all the bad takes are built around this idea that they’ve achieved the perfect ideal masculine because they’re the “living in the moment, violent psychopath” nihilist the movie is actively condemning. 

The simple fact is that death of the author ultimately, in a grand scale amounts to this; did a writers intent show through hard enough for their intent to be heard? And Subjectively, how much does a person believe in the meaning that they, or the writer themself have imparted into the story? 

#change of pace

[simonjadis]

Anon I’m ASSUMING that these are from the same person; apologies if they are not

I would say that my feelings are similar to yours, but not quite identical ...

Disney’s handling has been imperfect, and some of the mistakes have been made the highest level (I know that people give Kathleen Kennedy a hard time, but if rumor is to be believed, some of the interference that made IX kind of weird came from higher than that)

for example, Kennedy said in an interview that she tries to find people who just make big, successful movies to make sure that these are also big, successful movies. I can understand that as being a safe bet from a business stand point, but that’s not the same thing as finding someone passionate about very specifically telling good, new Star Wars stories, which we did not really get in the Sequel Trilogy

(one of the most common theories that I saw from TLJ apologists was that people didn’t like that it was new/different than what they were expecting, which was really not the issue for me or my friends. Also it was just a speedrun of parts of Episodes V and VI)

I think that I’m “too close” to Star Wars to see it as a financial asset rather than a beloved universe full of characters and stories that I adore, but I don’t think that “literally just rehash the Original Trilogy for two movies and barely acknowledge any other part of Star Wars until IX” was a good idea

Rey deserved her own story. and Luke deserved to not be retroactively robbed of his

as for George Lucas, I do think that years of backlash over the Prequels sucked the fun out of it for him. Also, who doesn’t want four billion dollars? it was a sweetheart deal for Disney, of course

the sad thing is that this meant the end of Clone Wars, because Disney took one look at Lucasfilm’s budget and was like “OH NO YOU CANNOT SPEND THAT KIND OF MONEY ON A CARTOON” which is why Season 6 was paid for by Netflix and why Maul: Son of Dathomir was a comic

I love Star Wars Rebels and I’m not trying to knock the show at all, but the budgetary difference was palpable. Clone Wars did have it a little easier because of the Clone Troopers (all having the same face), but on Rebels, you notice that 90% of the Imperials are the same guy wearing a hat with his visor obscuring most of his face. market scenes show just a few people (but plenty of Storm Troopers)

the designs of the main characters -- Ezra, Hera, Sabine, Zeb, Kallus, Thrawn, Kanan, etc -- are great and loving and detailed and most of those change a little over time, but there’s a reason that we only see so many planets on Rebels. look at the huge armies and crowds in Rebels. my friend @drunkkenobi​ is the first who pointed out to me that in Clone Wars, you sometimes see lines of ships (Space Traffic) and each ship in line will be unique, distinct from the others

it’s not Rebels’ fault that they didn’t have that kind of budget. that’s also why their space battles (and space ships) never quite look right. meanwhile, for Clone Wars, if they wanted a particular scene or ship that went over their planned budget, all that they had to do was ask Uncle George

eccentric billionaires funding expensive media isn’t necessarily the most sustainable model for storytelling, but it sure worked out well for Clone Wars and for The Expanse

(Jeff Bezos personally called up the head of Amazon Prime programming, who had already been considering acquiring the extremely good but expensive show, and was like “hey the cast from this show is at a thing where I am, I’d love to just tell them that their show is saved, give me it?” and we saw as many new locations in Season 4 as we did in the first three seasons)

but streaming -- where you actually get money directly from customers who then, through their activity on your platform, show you exactly what they want to see aka what is keeping them on your platform -- offers a new opportunity for high quality genre media. remember, scifi and fantasy were EVERYWHERE in the ‘90s and the early aughts, and then because too expensive for regular TV unless they had huge audiences. only through streaming do we have these new Star Treks, The Witcher, and the real possibility of a new Stargate series

why do I bring up streaming? because

The Mandalorian goes to show that Disney can 100% do good Star Wars. Rebels was good, despite its budget, but can you imagine how much better it would have been if it had aired on Disney+

as with the DC movies (three of which are good and I’m also excited for Birds of Prey), the solution to the our-movies-made-a-lot-of-money-but-aren’t-strictly-speaking-good is literally just “let the people who do the cartoons make the movies”

and now we’re getting a final, seventh (half) season of Clone Wars! twelve episodes looking better than the show has ever looked!!

if you’re like me, you probably thought to yourself “gee, only 12?” and, cynically, you figured that it’s a trick -- announced at ComicCon in 2018 to build up the first wave of hype for Disney+

and it is ... but it 100% worked on me, I signed up for Disney+ and will pay anything for Clone War

my HOPE is that this is a test run to see if people really like high-quality animated Star Wars stories enough to continue with it. there’s only so much clone wars that one can cover (my suspicion is that we will see Ahsoka fake her death during Order 66 in these eps, so yep, that’s the end of the Clone Wars right there)

imagine a well-written series with everything that Clone Wars had in terms of content and visual quality, but it’s set after Episode IX. to my frustration, IX ends with effectively the same worldstate as VI which essentially means that nothing much happened in the Sequel Trilogy. but imagine a series set after IX. we could see a new set of (Force-wielding) characters. we could see Rey, Finn, Poe, and Rose during some episodes. Rose could finally get to do something that’s not an insulting fool’s errand (she deserves so much better!!!!!)

we don’t need a new Big Scary Empire/First Order thing, just organized crime and pirates and Hutts and bounty hunters and individual planet systems going to war as the characters try to assemble a NEW New Republic (gods I hate the unchanged worldstate)

now, I know that Star Wars Resistance is not ... reassuring. this is the only screencap that I have from it because I couldn’t get into it. it’s not the animation (I enjoyed Tron Uprising and Iron Man: Armored Adventures and this is the same kind of deal), but three things:

-I watch Star Wars for the Force primarily; other stuff can be cool but I need the Force

-I will never care about ships racing and really I don’t care about an individual ship flying; I’m a Command Ship kind of space nerd

-apparently the writing doesn’t improve much during the first season. people tell the main character to not do something, then he does it, and disaster ensues. that’s ... it’s fine, it’s fine to exist as a show, it’s just not for me

obviously, not all Star Wars media is for me, but when something -- like TLJ or the Sequel Series as a whole (even though VII and IX are enjoyable) or Resistance -- disappoints me, I would never accuse it of “ruining Star Wars”

Star Wars is a whole franchise. the breadth of canon isn’t all wiped away by some disappointments. was the MCU ruined by Age of Ultron? no. it was a bad movie but from the same franchise that gave us The Winter Soldier and Thor Ragnarok. hell, Dawn of Justice doesn’t “ruin” Wonder Woman or Aquaman or Shazam. bad movies aren’t contagious

for the past several years, the Entitled Dude crowd has felt empowered. they were radicalized in the altright/redpill/MGTOW/meninist/nazi/gamergate/comicsgate/etc spheres of the internet and now they just have a reflex where they see any sort of representation and decry it as “SJW,” which they also seem to think is a bad thing

in the same way that well-meaning people on tumblr can get radicalized into being antis/puriteens, people with certain vulnerabilities on reddit or youtube can get sucked into a world that tells them that they are the default and that other people existing is “political” in media and in real life, and that people being upset by outright cruelty towards them is both funny and means that the cruel person is the victor. they need therapy and studios need to not listen to them

unfortunately, sometimes there are movies that are bad despite having things like solid representation. Ghostbusters 2016 was a delight, but my friends and I with whom I saw TLJ (all of us queer feminists) left the theater angry. we’ve bitten our tongues a lot (even if it seems otherwise) because publicly criticizing the film too often leads some incel monster to chime in with agreement, and we’re just like

the redpillgate crowed et all is a natural ally of conservative white evangelicals, even though the former group is generally made up of New Atheists (the short version is atheists who hold socially conservative views because racism/misogyny/transphobia benefit them without using christianity as an excuse). it’s kind of like how terfs will side with conservative hate groups because, though they’re natural enemies, they both despite trans people just for existing

unfortunately, when you’re looking at who went to see a movie or who hated it, not everyone posts with an ID card saying exactly their demographic. which is only going to make studios like Disney even more nervous about including queer content in Star Wars and in the MCU (I mean real queer content with characters whose names don’t have to be searched on a wiki)

that was a bit of a tangent, but yeah. sorry if I missed anything

#star wars #clone wars #anon #ask #anon ask

[queernuck]

I am almost sorry, but you are likely to be around drug users at Pride if you spend a significant amount of time at various festivities, vigils, and events, even if you attend the most sexless, supposed-safe, sanitized ideations of whatever events are associated with pride. This is effectively a matter of how common drug use is, how many different sorts of drug use there are, and how ubiquitous drug use is within both gay communities and various communities that are in assembly and assemblage with it in one way or another.

What has frustrated me most, recently, in looking at how others view drug use, drinking, and sobriety in relation to Pride is that the understanding of our community’s ties to substance abuse are so poor, so awful, so normative. 

So many reinscriptions and repetitions of “advice” or directives given to us about how we must behave at Pride are ones that repeat largely hegemonic advice, advice that looks at public spaces in a way that fundamentally focuses on individual actions rather than structural inadequacies. Admonishments about smoking in public ignore larger issues of air quality, the structuring of capitalist work ethic such that one of the few ways to reliably get breaks on a reasonable schedule is get addicted to nicotine. Alcohol is among the few intoxicants that can be legally consumed in public openly, with marijuana in a kind of grey area in many places and illegal but tolerated, at least to a degree. Cocaine, as a substance that can be insufflated and one that goes well with alcohol, provides stimulation and confidence in a world where you are asked to keep drinking to stay at a bar, and a bar is likely one of the few social spaces you have, so that cocaine becomes a means of making the experience of going to the bar something memorable (in a literal sense, by keeping one from blacking out) as well as providing the energy necessary for going from a bar to an apartment, to a bedroom, to an encounter of a sexual character. The same is even more true of methamphetamine, or Tina, common in many gay communities and a favorite of many gay men, including in circles that by their nature are constructed around drug use.

Drugs and sex go together frequently, even with light usage of entirely acceptable drugs. Alcohol, either consumed or as an accessory to distract those who are satisfied with intoxication at a given moment, is present at most events where the audience is of legal age and the context is casual, or is well suited for such casual encounters. And, as discussed before, the use of cocaine surrounding sex is relatively well-documented as well, both inside and outside of gay communities. The use of poppers, a term for amyl nitrates, in sex is not uncommon, and certainly no longer restricted to gay communities. however, that it got its start, became popular in, gay circles is hardly disputed, mainly because even the amusingly droll wikipedia account of the history of the drug mentions the way in which it was taken on by a kind of avant-garde of straight culture (really, likely, just ones who had fucked a bisexual person and thought themselves subversive for it despite being far straighter than the highway line you walk down when checking if youre gonna catch your third DUI) as the muscle-relaxing effects of poppers are known both for increasing sexual pleasure, and for relaxing muscles in a fashion that allows for a greater ease of sexual acts. Or, if one is speaking without euphemism, after some drinks, some coke and some poppers an average vers or bottom is ready to bust themselves wide open.

These are examples of behaviors that involve drug use, but are not innately tied to it, are not by their nature activities that require drug use, merely ones that drug use can be found in assemblage with. However, “Party and Play” is a far different beast to discuss. The two parts of party and play are relatively easily explained: the “party” involves use of drugs, mainly meth but also integrating others such as MDMA, GHB, and other club drugs, while the “play” is various forms of sex, whether it be relatively tame or a highly fetishized process of exchange and resignification wherein traditional sexual acts are resignified through acts of drug use. PNP literally cannot exist without drug use. Drug use is integral to it as a space, as a fetish, and while it varies the drugs used fall largely within a very narrow list specifically because of how these drugs are consumed, the effects they have, and the sexualization thereof. One not-uncommon act in more hardcore PNP groups is injecting another partner with crystal meth, an exercise in trust, control, and a kind of intimate penetration far more transgressive than any other, a phallic presence signified by the needle rather than by a phallus or phallic object inserted into an orifice. It is the creation of a new orifice, a radical reshaping of the body through the singularity of the needle’s point, and the dangerousness of this, the risks associated with it, are part of what make it a meaningful fetish. As Žižek says of fistfucking, there is a way in which the phallus is, now, inadequately phallic to serve as a proper sexual instrument, a more extreme one must be found. 

Not all PNP is this extreme, even though injected use of methamphetamine is not unheard of in gay circles. For some, shooting crystal is more or less as acceptable as any other drug-related behavior, specifically due to the influence of PNP culture and the prevalence of meth more generally in gay spaces. In fact, in many places it is predominantly tied to the gay community, as a kind of currency within it due specifically to PNP’s popularity leading to a wider popularity of the drug in relation to other club drugs. If you’re in Nevada and looking for meth, you probably don’t have to go too far. In some parts of Southern California, it is only the second most common substance because you can buy weed easier than a pack of cigarettes. There are towns in Arizona that all but throw it at you, and at one point Missouri was the meth capital of the world. Meth is one of America’s favorite drugs, but if you’re in New York, it can be hard to come by. Nearby cities like Patterson and Newark on out to Kensington in Philly are dope havens, and if you go far enough uptown or downtown in New York you’ll find the same. And don’t get anyone wrong, dope is great. But dope dick won’t exactly satisfy most. And that’s where Tina comes to town in her Swarovski crystal dress: in NYC, meth is relatively rare outside of gay clubs, gay parties, and most meth users are involved in PNP scenes or at most a step removed from them, drug users who acknowledge the kinship between the two and may rely on it in order to get their own supply, sustain their own dealings, so on. And while meth is more acceptable to inject in certain circles than heroin is to use at all, by any route of administration, that there would eventually be some crossover is hardly surprising.

The popularity of heroin among gay users is less tied to sex and largely tied to the same factors that make alcohol, cocaine, and other drugs popular: lives of depression, rejection, isolation. This is even more true for trans people, given our experience in relation to embodiment as a concept, a process, a continual test of being and becoming. As an experience, heroin and other opiates are some of the drugs most similar in effect and affect to the sadomasochistic restructuring of the body, two of the approaches toward the Body without Organs (as laid out by Deleuze and Guattari) and two means of attaining a restructuring of the body that passes through an embryonic stage rather than requiring the traumatic breaking and restructuring of the body occur in a body that will fracture as a result, the embryonic body able to sustain such change due to its lack of definition. For trans women, heroin may not make us women, but the pain of becoming one is certainly helped by it. Heroin, when mixed with alcohol, benzodiazepines, cocaine, or meth (or really anything else) provides a unique, more euphoric experience, one where anxiety melts away and euphoria comes easily. Dope itself is often not sexualized, as lazing around and listening to music is usually more appealing on it than the effort needed to have sex. Rather than a strictly sexual component, the kinship between sex work and drug use, the way in which the two are commonly found near one another, with one inviting and invoking the other such that involvement in one is often tied with involvement in another. Whether to come down from an upper (smoking heroin to come down from MDMA was and remains a common Irish raver practice) or to add an analgesic to the pain of exploitation, its involvement in gay lives is hardly surprising, even if not as emblematic of glitz and glamour as cocaine, MDMA, and even meth.

To refer back to previous mentions of MDMA, while certainly not associated strictly with gay lives, the queerness of MDMA is hard to dispute, given the artistry with which MDMA pills are often crafted and the scenes in which they are distributed. Raves and gay fashion have frequently intersected, the music that forms the basis for most raves owes its origins in one way or another to gay (and black gay communities, specifically) innovation. The faggishness of rave culture, the effete style of PLUR dress codes, and the way that this is all sublimated back into heterosexuality gives all at once an overwhelmingly “queer” vibe to certain spaces and a sort of drought of any genuine queer identity, gay affinity, trans transgression, merely an apparition of it, a simulacra of rave culture. however, MDMA still can be found at gay clubs, raves, and so on, especially given the way that the Netherlands has begun exporting phenomenal pills in bulk quantities. Madonna dominating the dance floor is an issue of Voguing being in vogue, but the roots of house music, ballroom culture, the influence of both on popular culture and musical development cannot be ignored, and that so much of it rings with the metallic taste of MDMA is also undeniable.

Gay communities have a lot of drugs, are a frequently intoxicated sort of space, one in which intoxication as a means of restructuring transgression and reclaiming certain means of relation, resignifying them, is part of the experience, of what makes a community possible. To say there is no problem with this is to make a statement too far, but to say the opposite, to say that intoxication is a moral failure, is itself a statement that goes against both purposes of community and the reason that intoxication became so involved in them in the first place.

#drugs #pride

[mavrustheunskooled]

gay representation in Starkid shows: a giant rambly post no one asked for

I have a lot of thoughts about gay representation in Starkid musicals (I would say LGBT+ rep but there aren’t any trans characters except for debatably Chorn, who’s described as a monster, so that doesn’t really count) and I’m sure no one cares but I’m writing about how it has changed and how it differs for mlm and wlw and ye

so first off let’s establish gay characters in starkid musicals (I’ve heard that some of these are up to interpretation, but I’m basing this off the idea that most people recognize the romance-coding in these pairings) 

Quirrell/Voldemort (AVPM/AVPSY) 

Ron (AVPM/AVPS/AVPSY) 

Dumbledore (AVPM/AVPS/AVPSY) 

Scarfy/Sorty (AVPS/AVPSY) 

Seamus/Dean (AVPC) 

McDoon/Cletus (TTO) 

Zazzalil/Jemilla (Firebringer) 

Alice/Deb (TGWDLM) 

that’s 7 MLM characters dating back to 2009, 4 WLW characters dating back to 2016, and 2 that are objects (a scarf and a hat) that can’t really be assigned genders 

what I find really interesting is the difference between the way the mlm and wlw are treated. until 2016, starkid did not have any wlw characters in their musicals; however, the mlm characters that they did have were not treated well

Quirrell and Voldemort are an interesting case because it is difficult to discern if they are treated as a joke because they are gay or because nothing is taken seriously in AVPM. I think that, although they are a joke, they’re more acceptable because no couple in AVPM is treated very seriously. if the Ron/Hermione kiss scene exists, then I’m here for whatever nonsense Quirrell and Voldemort want to get up to. (but I’m not done with them- put a pin in this)

(I also have to acknowledge that their scene in AVPSY is beautiful. stunning. amazing. perfect. they are maybe starkid’s best mlm because, even though they start off as a joke, there’s their CHILD and the “okay is wonderful” line and the way Quirrell leans his head against Voldemort and smiles softly and I’m tearing up because I love them okay anYWAY)  

Ron is also odd because he is confirmed bi in AVPS, but that point is never revisited. on one hand, that’s nice because his entire life doesn’t revolve around his sexuality and it doesn’t change who he is, but on the other hand, Ron is canonically bi in the AVPM trilogy and it’s never really a thing. (again, it doesn’t Have to be a thing, but that would be lovely. also one could argue that some of his interactions with Harry are a bit like a pining bisexual, but that brings up a bunch of other issues. for one, gay-character-pines-after-straight-friend is Tired. it also enhances the idea that mlm are a joke, an idea that we will revisit again and again in this post.) 

AVPM trilogy Dumbledore is bad. what else can I say. he makes inappropriate comments to children. his sexuality and existence are a giant joke. I don’t think there’s any instance where his sexuality is not treated as a punchline. 

Scarfy and Sorty are every gay stereotype ever. Scarfy has the “””gay voice””” and they’re a rainbow, which aren’t necessarily bad, but just. Yikes. they do have some cute moments (”why do you have to be so brave”) but also... I’m not saying it’s bury your gays, but one of them does die... 

Seamus and Dean are confirmed to be married in A Very Potter Christmas (I believe). it’s a brief mention, similar to Ron, that can retroactively be applied to the AVPM trilogy, but mostly it comes off as a “haha they’re husbands it’s comedy gold” 

then there’s McDoon and Cletus. Oh boy. they’re the worst. a good way to tell if gay characters are being played as a joke because they’re gay or if it’s just a joke is to switch the gender of one person. imagine if Cletus was a woman, and then imagine all of the scenes that imply something between him and McDoon. it completely changes the meaning of them. they’re also the villains. gay villains aren’t necessarily bad; however, there is a big trend of villains being gay because it associates being bad with being gay. media influences how people view the world. if every gay person you see is a bad person, you’ll begin to think gay = bad. they’re the worst. 

a common trend of starkid mlm, such as Ron and Seamus/Dean, is that they are briefly mentioned once and then never returned to. there is nothing wrong with briefly mentioning that a character is part of the LGBT+ community without elaborating on it because that’s not the only aspect of their character. one good example of this is the gay gas attendant in solve it squad (I know we’re dipping into TCB, but I think they’re great about LGBT+ rep, or at least gay rep). he mentions his boyfriend, and it’s not a big deal, but it’s nice to hear. it’s nice to hear that Ron, Seamus, and Dean are all mlm. the issue comes in when that’s all the rep that exists. the AVPM trilogy is a special case because it has multiple mlm characters, so this rule doesn’t apply as strongly as in other cases, but it’s worth mentioning. 

the most common trend of starkid mlm is that they are played as a joke. Quirrell/Voldemort are the closest starkid gets to a loving relationship between two men. and there is nothing wrong with one gay couple being comedic. I adore QM’s songs- different as can be is a work of art. the issue stems, similar to the gay villain trope, from when it becomes a repeated trend. if gay people are always jokes, that means viewers will begin to associate being gay with being a joke. starkid mlm are never allowed to have a beautiful love story like, for example, jafar and scheherazade. the best they can hope for is a nice ending at the end of the third musical in a trilogy after their ending in the first installment was done as a joke rather than sincerely. it’s the trend of lacking a meaningful love story that’s the problem, not the individual cases. 

OKAY now onto the wlw. 

the main issue with starkid wlw is that they were nonexistent until firebringer. I hope that I’m missing something, but if I’m right, there were not any wlw for 7 years. it’s nonsense that starkid didn’t have canon wlw until then. I know there are excuses to make, like it was a different time and whatever, but it still seems weird. 

Zazzalil and Jemilla are great. they’re the main characters, there’s no doubt that they’re in love, and they sing a gay duet. beautiful. stunning. effervescent. I also think the “they weren’t built up enough” argument is interesting because I definitely get it to a point but also straight couples are never built up but they’re everywhere. let a gay couple that’s not perfectly built up end up together like straights do all the time. (also they were built up a bit, although I agree that it could have been more) 

more eloquent people than me have praised Alice and Deb before, but I’ll try. Alice is great because she has the exact conflict that a straight kid might have: her dad doesn’t approve of her significant other. Bill isn’t homophobic; he just doesn’t like Deb. when he suggests other people for Alice to date, a guy’s name doesn’t come to mind. he supports his lesbian daughter- just not her taste in women. it’s great. 

so starkid held off on wlw until they decided to do representation seriously. their wlw are treated with respect, and they’re interesting characters who are more than their sexuality. 

so why do I bring all of this up? because I think it’s interesting, but also because of Workin’ Boys, the (potentially coming) short film. 

starkid has not really moved past their joking-mlm days. I’m not saying that they’re super homophobic because they’re obviously not. But, they still do some questionable things. Hidgens is really gay-coded, and it’s a giant joke, and it makes me concerned about workin’ boys. I don’t know if there will be gay characters (although I can always hope), but if there are, I don’t know if they’ll fall into the same stereotype trap that others have fallen into. mlm exist who do fit into the stereotypical idea of a mlm; however, I think it’s important to show a variety of people, and I’m concerned that that will not happen. 

TL;DR starkid representation has been hit or miss, but it’s getting better, and I can only hope that it continues to improve. 

#I love starkid and i'm not saying they're homophobic so don't @ me #also I had a whole other part planned about transphobia but I decided to not get into it #starkid #mine #also this google doc was almost 3 pages long sldkfljf #rambles