#there's no punchline it's just pain

[greyias]

when you get to the bottom of that godawful new color of the sky post

#thanks i hate it #op knew what they were doing and somehow made it even worse #there's no punchline it's just pain #like the first/original post was bad #but then someone in the reblog chain literally copy and pasted all of the photos in order #so not only did you have color of the sky but worse -- you had it twice #i almost cried #i stg i will block anyone else who puts that on my dash #i was on my computer and it was SO BAD #if i had been on my phone i'm pretty sure i would have become the joker

[s0fter-sin]

codtwt is going off on brainwashed!soap bc of his new warzone skin and it’s making me think of ghost deliberately getting himself captured by makarov bc he knows he’ll be given to his dog to try and break him; knows he won’t be able to resist the irony, the cruelty of being tortured by the teammate he lost

he doesn’t fight; welcomes the chains around his wrists and ankles, welcomes the hands stripping him of his weapons and gear until he's defenceless

he wouldn't use them anyway

when he stalks into the room, the muzzle, the scars, not even the blank hatred or lack of recognition could make him mistake his eyes

that's his johnny

he doesn't flinch as he digs knives into his skin; would never shy away from his kiss even if it's tinged with rusted steel. doesn't swallow his screams; not when he always loved hearing him, when he spent so long coaxing his voice from the grave

frustration joins the anger in johnny's eyes the longer he goes without giving up information

just jokes; dark and puns alike

just advice when he can't get the jumper cables to spark right

ghost's not trying to escape; not trying to barter his return to the 141

he's right where he wants to be

#ghost letting him be tortured indefinitely if it means being with johnny i am going to eat glass #he doesnt even care if he never gets him back. if the brainwashing is permanent #he still treats him the same. gives him openings to meet a punchline or rib him for something #no matter how long he goes without responding. without giving him any hope of becoming the man he knew #if pain is all he’ll ever get from johnny again he’ll welcome it gratefully with open arms #he got his share of kindness. more than he ever thought he deserved. if pain has to balance it out then so be it #so long as johnny is the one giving it to him #meanwhile soap gets more and more frustrated that he cant break this soldier #that when he becomes more inventive he just meets him with a story about people he doest know but acts like he should #that every day when his master calls him away he leaves with a soft - /loving/ - see you tomorrow johnny echoing in his ears #he doesnt understand #and it just makes him more vicious #but the soldier doesnt care #he still smiles in the face of pain #still calls him johnny #coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt #we’re a team. ghost team #soapghost #ghostsoap #ghoap #ghost cod #simon ghost riley #soap cod #john soap mactavish #ghost x soap

[beefcake-penguin]

Kara: *bridal carrying Lena* "I'll take care of you"

Lena: *nuzzling into Kara's beefy neck/shoulder area* "It's rotten work... and I'll bite you"

Kara: "Not to me. Not if it's y- wait, what?"

Lena: *wicked little grin on her face and pupils dilate like a cat's*

Lena: *CHOMP!!!*

Kara: "YeeOUCH!!!"

#supercorp #incorrect supergirl quotes #kara danvers #lena luthor #inspired by the earlier post about which of them bites (it's definitely Lena) #also for the punchline to work just pretend that lena did some sort of gay magic so she can give ol' beef-o a nice nibble #and kara can feel it (not like “bad” pain but more like when your cat gets too playful and gives you a chomp or two) #my posts! 💪🏼🐧

[reegis]

Are you ok? My favourite mechs artist has been quiet recently

im am SO so sorry i havent been able to post in so long aaa.. at the moment i am very much not okay, unfortunately a lot of things have gone poorly very quickly but hopefully its only a temporary set back!!

tldr i finally managed to get a full time job a month & a half after moving and my car broke down for the last time almost immediately upon hiring so i now have to walk ~2hrs to and from an 8 hour shift every day + more personal stuff,, the pain & stress is Not fun for my back problems or mental health :,^)

hoping to get the bike my mom leant me repaired as soon as i have my first paycheck or 2, so fingers crossed that will make a huge difference

i have still been slowly working on comms in whatever free time i get but its slow going 😔 ty everybody for your patience & sorry again for not being online!

#2024 has been a comedy of errors thus far & i have been the punchline every time 😔😔😔😔 #im more bruises blisters and joint pain than man at this point #but it will get better!!! *holding 2024 in a chokehold* IT WILL GET BETT E R #you’re so so sweet tho ty for checking up on me #sorry for complaining #should i tag this as a vent post? maybe just in case #vent post #ily all and cant wait for things to settle down and actually have time to dra w again 😭 #asks

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

In the same bed, but not on the same page

[First] Prev <–->Next

#Poorly Drawn MDZS #MDZS #season 1 #wei wuxian #little apple #lan wangji #I know this scene plays out very differently but it would just be the same punchline from a prev comic #That said it might have worked because man oh man #wwx cannot figure out for the second life of him why his *excellent tactics* are not working #For someone so smart he sure does fail to adapt and change his strategy #Its for the fanservice obviously but what was the *plan* with literally cuddling up next to your apparent captor in bed? #Have you ever shared a bed with someone? Cause when youre tired it takes a *lot* to motivate yourself to kick someone out #I'm staying asleep whether you stay in your lane or not ->me and lwj apparently #though he's prob happy to have this domesticity. Maybe. It's probably extremely bittersweet and painful to be so close yet so far away

[clock-06]

Chronic illness is thinking something you do or experience is entirely and totally normal and then you make a joke about it to someone and they switch the conversation around into a very serious tone and you’re sitting there because now the interaction isn’t the funny haha it was meant to be and you now have to face that there is probably more things than you thought going horribly wrong in your body

#disabled #chronic pain #chronic illness #heds #chronic fatigue #autism #hypermobile eds #and you just sit there in awkward silence #like. this was not what I meant. #this was not the punchline I indented #this is just a punch to my mental health

[katyspersonal]

Tumblr sorta needs a 'Mute' feature in my opinion. Like what if I don't want to block this user, what if I don't want to become enemies and in some days I'd like to interact. But also most of the time seeing how they avidly encourage everyone else whereas I get the passive-aggressive 'oh yeah very uhh... interesting... (please leave me alone I don't like your art lol)' makes me want to unfollow every single fan of these characters and never draw them again.

I remember two years ago the exact same thing happened when someone liked the same character and the same ship and I swear I was the only person in the fandom they bluntly left out and could not spare a single good word for. I can't even blame this on my art being "ugly" because this type of user always aggressively praises all art styles and all levels of skill, it feels more like 'a personal thing except we never fought a single time'. And now my toxic trait of needing approval from [cool person name] is back to haunt me years later! Add the unability to "abandon" this character/ship/whatever despite wanting to after facing so much unspoken passive spite, because I am a contrarian and the best way to trap me into doing something is to try to exclude me from it. I didn't face attempts to very aggressively bully me out of the yard/class/community/etc, sometimes with physical violence included, only to let something mid like passive aggression online finally do it.

I am really stupid and naive person despite my age, but in like 5% of the cases I will still understand the hint and understand what is going on. Yet I have to pretend to be clueless even in rare situations when I know someone hates me, because since they never admitted it, quitting will be perceived as me being "paranoid". But dear goooood, it hurts sometimes. I hope that one day I will be numbed to being treated as a tumor on an otherwise healthy body of society that someone is dying to amputate- and always a person whose approval I want, of all people. Knowing that this day will come is one of the things that keep me going as both a person and a creator. Things like viruses and diseases still try their best to persist, so even if I am actually one, I should persist. It doesn't matter whether I actually rot everything around me or this is just my self-depreciating delusion upon focusing on people that mistreated me and not people that loved me. What matters is persisting, I just still feel angry that it hurts. I can't respond spite with spite or passive aggression with passive aggression, I can't do the 'smug asshole' when I become aware that someone tries to starve me until I "die". I can just fall over and cry about it like a kicked dog, despite being so old, especially when it is a person I didn't have anything against.

And really.. It is as simple as turning the internet off, so I don't see The Person and can focus on doing stuff that I like, as if they never existed and can't crash my self-esteem. It is just annoying to keep doing this, a feature to not see them unless I am in the mood would be better. Like.. blocking is not an option. Not only it implies being enemies which is not my intention, but also it will be like an "evidence" that I was "crazy". They didn't do anything, right? Well, they know what they did, but it was never verbal, so it is my fault I "imagined things", right?

#/vent #/negative #/HEAVILY negative #fandomry rambles #like I started crying typing this do not read it unless you already know #it is just stupid how I don't even need any sort of drama to *just* annoy people to THIS severe point #like I said even before everything there was a very similar situation #I just evoke some primal hatred in specific type of people #it is probably what happened with maasanox but they apologized and moreover felt bad vibes from the stalker bully idiot #it is more like that meme from Lilo and Stitch #'ah yeah all artists and other creative fans deserve knowing they are liked and talented and supported...' #*katya walks in* 'EXCEPT THAT ONE!!!!!!!' #the punchline is that the two years ago guy and todays guy are fans of the same character #I swear the fictional bastard has abnormal ability to reveal the ugliest truths and bring out the worst in people #like the last time someone kinned the twink every single person here showed their true face and that was painful #not a single person got spared of showing what they were made of and me lacking spine was the LEAST of the sins brought up for judgement #you see this is why truth hurts. because people are terrible. truth is always ugly because WE are always ugly #I kinda love him for that but seriously can he stop making the worst things surface for FIVE minutes lol #in my excuse I am TRYING to kill my 'inner child' because these problems are too stupid but it seems impossible #I am a kicked dog with rabies in the past today and always

[dumbasswhatever]

>be me, taking a specialty medicine that is actually really helping me >type of medicine you see in commercials >need to fill out a whole application with my doctor for their financial aid program to take it >need to re-apply every year >know it can take a while for the application process to be finished so i re-apply in may >my year runs out in november so that should be plenty of time >havent heard anything back in months so i ask my doctor if they've heard anything since they submitted the application >"if you got your last shipment, then you're re-enrolled" >yeah ok thats a relief >call the specialty pharmacy a few weeks later to schedule my next shipment >"we can't schedule your shipment, it seems you aren't in the program anymore. call the medicine company" >call the medicine company >"we sent your doctor a form a few weeks ago and they haven't answered us. call your doctor" >call the doctor >doctor is fucking allergic to answering the phone >spend two weeks trying to figure out what form they needed to fill out >it was the same goddamn form i filled out in may >doctors never sent it >fml >call the doctor again and pester them into sending the application "again" >(tell them the medicine company probably messed up instead of them so they don't get pissed and fuck up more shit) >call the medicine company two days later to ask if they got the application >apparently i need to babysit this goddamn application >they got it though thank god >need to call back in seven business days to see if they've approved it >give em eight days just in case >application got approved!!! >(apparently they didnt feel the need to like, notify me or anything. but whatever) >call the specialty pharmacy to schedule my next shipment >they haven't gotten the news yet so can't schedule yet >need to wait a day or two >give em two days just in case >call em again to schedule my next shipment >"sorry we can't schedule your shipment just yet because your doctor didnt specify on the prescription whether it's the pen or the syringe" >"i've been on the medicine for a year i know it's the pen" >"sorry we can't do it" >fml >call the doctor and miraculously get thru to a real person on my first attempt >"i'll leave a message for your nurse but she only comes in on tuesdays" >been the perfect patient >gave them several months for this application so i dont risk going off my meds >pestered everybody i needed to pester >still been off my meds for almost two weeks now bc my doctors cant do their fucking job >mfw

#sorry theres no punchline here im just fucking pissed #my doctor just had to fill out their portion of the form and submit it and they did not do either of those things correctly #american healthcare system everyone #i have gone through some annoying fucking shit trying to get an appointment or medicine but GOD. this doctors is testing my patience #(this same doctors office did the same thing the first time i applied for the medicine. so i went a year in misery bc they didnt submit it) #which is why im blaming them and not the medicine company to be clear #but anyway i think im going to lock everyone at my doctors and the medicine company and the specialty pharmacy in a saw trap #can you get my medicine to me in time or will you all perish? #(they die bc my nurse only comes in once a week) #just want to say that the medicine isnt like. life saving or anything. they arent actually risking my life with this #they r just making me miserable and in pain #im so mad im going to go play minecraft so im not mad

[sparrowsfallingfromthesky]

I want a Black Sails jigsaw puzzle and I want it to be a double sided one with Silver pointing a gun at Flint on one side and Flint and Thomas reuniting on the other side so you get to choose your ending

#also I think there should be a piece missing. preferably from silver. just a painful little punchline :) #Black Sails

[starblaster]

i know i’m never obligated to share medical stuff here but, since i have posted about it for years, i thought i would also post an update from my appointment yesterday:

apparently my post-surgical POTS really did go away around the time when i suspected that it did… however, i was still experiencing fatigue and lightheadedness and heat sensitivity and fluids made symptoms less intense… so… my doctor did two inflammation tests/labs to check for anything autoimmune (since anemia labs were negative), and…

i have had fibromyalgia this whole time (?!?!?), my doctor agreed (??!?!?!!!??!!) and everything i have experienced in the past 10 years makes so much more sense to me now

i also have plantar fasciitis 😓 on both feet 😭 so i’m really hoping to get into physical therapy so i can learn some stretches and stuff to make walking less painful

and i’m finally going to get the cysts on my head removed 🥳

#it really was a bombshell to me like #wdym i’ve had fibromyalgia this whole time and never suspected it… #and that makes so much more sense to me than having POTS *and* ME/CFS #when i came in with the intense muscle and joint pain i was just like… is this also CFS? #but turns out the simplest answer was fibromyalgia #and when a DOCTOR says ‘hey i think you definitely have fibromyalgia’?! #it feels like one of those punchlines yknow like #…damn at least i have a doctor who does her job now #disability tag #suit.txt

[chaoticgouda]

very on brand of me to finally feel better…. only to sneeze and pull the muscle on my fuckin mcrib

#life is a comedy and brother? i am the punchline #krill rambles #i’m okay just in mild pain lol #just vibing

[ambrosiagourmet]

I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:

So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.

In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.

At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.

And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.

Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.

If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.

We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:

So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.

Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."

So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.

However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.

Isn't that the same thing?

No, no it very much is not.

Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:

Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.

But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.

If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.

Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.

Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.

Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.

We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.

And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.

So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.

It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.

And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:

Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.

And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.

We see her choose to come back to life.

And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:

Do you want to eat more?

There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.

When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.

But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.

And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.

It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #falin touden #dunmeshi analysis #I love it when dungeon meshi says. the trauma was real and it changed you #and the way you are because of it isn’t anything to be ashamed of #but you have to keep living. you have to chose to keep living. #and you can #dungeon meshi spoilers

[demilypyro]

So I've seen a few too many people on twitter talking about The Kiss Scene from the new Scott Pilgrim anime. People saying it's fetishistic and indulgent, people calling it male gazey, etc. And while the kiss itself is certainly a bit exaggerated, I felt like writing a bit about why I disagree, and why context is important, like it always is. But it basically turned into an extended analysis on the metatextual treatment of Roxie Richter. So bear with me. It's a long post.

What really matters about this scene is not the kiss itself, but what precedes it. Not even just the fight scene just before it, but what precedes the whole anime series, really. And that's the Scott Pilgrim comic book, and the live action movie. Because in both, Roxie is a punchline.

She's a joke. Her character starts and ends with "one of the exes is actually a girl, I bet you didn't expect that." Jokes are made about Ramona's latent bisexuality, the movie especially treating it as funny and absurd, and her validity as a romantic interest is entirely written off by Ramona as being "just a phase." There's a fight scene, she's defeated by a man giving her an orgasm which implicitly calls her sexuality into question (come on), and the movie just moves on. It sucks. It really, really sucks.

The comic fares a little better. It never veers into outright homophobia like the movie does, and while the line about Ramona having gone through a phase remains, Roxie actually gets one over on Scott when Ramona briefly gets back with Roxie. But Roxie is still only barely a character. Like all the other evil exes, she's just a stepping stone towards the male protagonist's development. She barely even gets any screentime before she's defeated by Scott's "power of love." But Roxie stands out, since she's the only villain who is queer, or at least had been confirmed queer at that point (hi Todd). In a series that champions multiple gay men in the supporting cast, the single undeniable lesbian in the story is a villain. She's labeled as evil, made fun of, pushed aside in favor of the men, and then discarded. Her screentime was never about her, or her feelings for Ramona. It was about the straight, male protagonist needing to overcome her. And that was Roxie Richter. An unfortunate victim of the 2010s.

Fast forward to current year, and the new anime series is announced. Everybody sits down to watch the new series expecting another retelling of the same story, and.... hang on, that straight male protagonist I mentioned just died in the first episode. And now it's humanizing the villains from the original story. And there's Roxie, introduced alongside the other evil exes in the second episode, and she's being played entirely straight, without a punchline in sight. No jokes are made about her gender, no questions are made of her validity as one of Ramona's romantic interests. The narrative considers her important. In one episode, she already gets more respect than she did in either of the previous iterations of Scott Pilgrim. And this isn't even her focus episode yet... which happens to be the very next one.

The anime series goes to great lengths to flesh out the original story's villains and to have Ramona reconcile with them. And I don't think it's a coincidence that Roxie gets to go first. While Matthew Patel gets his development in episode 2, Roxie is the first to directly confront Ramona, now our main protagonist. This is notable too because it's the only time the exes are encountered out of order. Roxie is supposed to be number 4, but she's first in line, and later on you realize that she's the only one who's out of sequence. She's the one who sets the precedent for the villains being redeemed. She's the most important character for Ramona to reconcile with.

What follows is probably the most extensive, elaborate 1 on 1 fight scene in the whole show. Roxie fights like a wounded animal, her motions are desperate and pained. Ramona can only barely fight back against her onslaught. Different set-pieces fly by at breakneck speed as Roxie relentlessly lays her feelings at Ramona's feet through her attacks and her distraught shouts. And unlike the comic or the movie, Ramona acknowledges them, and sincerely apologizes. And the two end up just laying there, exhausted, reminiscing about when they were together.

Only after this, after all of this, does the kiss scene happen. Roxie has been vindicated, she has reconciled with the person who hurt her, the narrative has deemed that her anger is justified and has redeemed her character. And she gets her victory lap by making the nearest other hot girl question her heterosexuality, sharing a sloppy kiss with her as the music triumphantly crescendos.

It's... a little self-congratulatory, honestly. But it's good. It's redemption for a character who had been mistreated for over a decade. And she punctuates the moment by being very, very gay where everyone can see it, no men anywhere in sight. Because this is her moment. And then she leaves the plot, on her own accord this time, while humming the hampster dance. What a legend. How could anything be wrong with this.

#scott pilgrim #spto #scott pilgrim takes off #roxie richter #roxanne richter #scott pilgrim spoilers #spto spoilers

[communistkenobi]

I was listening to Behind The Police (podcast about the history of American policing) recently and at one point the hosts were discussing the tendency of white supremacist/fascist violence to have this element of absurdity to it - ie, people dressing up in white KKK robes and calling themselves wizards while attacking black people - and the point of this is to deny their victims the decency of “straightforward” experiences of violence. To later recount that a group of wizards attacked you makes you to sound absurd to whoever you’re talking to, and it becomes more difficult to make sense of. it’s all “just a joke bro.” your discomfort and fear and confusion and pain is the punchline. and modern right wing discourse is so laughably deranged as to be a joke in itself (perhaps best epitomised by the now-memetic phrase “the fluoride in the water is making the frickin’ frogs gay”), but this is of course deliberate. the rhetoric of “satanic pedophiles are sacrificing children in the basement of a pizza restaurant” or whatever is employed because it distracts from the real message they’re trying to deliver (ie, antisemitism). it isn’t just a denial of reality but a very particular form of cruelty that makes it more difficult for the victims of right wing violence to be taken seriously, to make sense of what’s happened to them.

and it feels like the same thing is happening now with transphobia - rhetoric that insists on “protecting children” from trans people while the US is actively loosening their child labour laws (x) (x). this isn’t a case of mere “hypocrisy,” this is rhetorically deliberate. the rank absurdity and insincerity of their words is meant to deny you the ability to think clearly, to distract you, to make you sound like a crazy person, to enrage you, all the while they get to carry on as if they aren’t saying or doing any of these things

#racism tw #antisemitism tw #transphobia tw #book club

[lgbtlunaverse]

This page from the adventurer's bible makes me want to cry

Like basically any neurodivergent dungeon meshi fan, I see a lot of myself in the Touden siblings. But I was blindsided by just how much I suddenly related to Falin in this little comic from the adventure bible's complete version.

It's about the Touden siblings' differing relationships with their parents, and why Laios still holds their treatment of Falin against them, while Falin herself doesn't.

We know that Falin was isolated and ostraziced by their village after she saved Laios from a ghost, displaying her uncanny affinity for magic. Her parents, instead of defending her, sent her away, which angered Laios so much he ran way himself before Falin even left for magic school, hoping to make a living so he and Falin could live together alone.

He tells Marcile this, but when she goes to Falin, she says she sees things differently. Her father sent her to magic school to protect her form the rest of the village without having to cause a conflict. He didn't explain that, and we actually see her burst into tears when he says it.

But, well... Laios was gone for a year before Falin went to magic school, and everyone else in the village avoided her. The understanding Falin has with her parents to me looks like one borne out of necessity, she literally didn't have anyone else to talk to.

And this is where we get to the page that made me want to cry

Like I said, I relate to the Toudens because I'm neurodivergent myself. that feeling of suddenly realizing you're disliked, but not knowing what you did wrong or what you should have done instead? Yeah... that's one I recognize.

When I was around 9 years old, the same age Falin is in this comic, a bunch of kids in my class decided to make a "game" where you lost if you touched me. It was basically the 'cheese-touch' from diary of a wimpy kid, except I always had it and couldn't pass it along. They'd pretend I was poisonous or disgusting and run away from me screaming or gagging. The point was to make fun of me. But my autistic little 9 year old ass thought "Oh I get it! It's tag but I'm always it!" So I... played along. Running at a boy and having him fall on the ground screaming in fake pain because you tapped him is, in isolation, pretty funny.

It wasn't until months into the "game" that I realized it was meant to be meanspirited. That the reason I was the one who was always 'it' wasn't an arbritrary rule but the whole point. Because I was weird and gross. I wasn't in on the joke, I was the punchline.

Falin may have come to understand her parents' intentions, but she didn't always. The adventure bible actually tells us that she at first didn't even notice that the rest of their village disliked her. She clearly knows now, but she had to be told. So when her mom tried to exorcise her, she just saw it as an activity she got to do with a mother she usually didn't get to spend much time with because of her poor health. It's only Laios who notices something is wrong.

(Sidenote, Laios being hyper-aware of people's poor attitudes towards Falin but completely blindsided when he's in the same spot, like with Toshiro, is also very relatable as an eldest sibling)

It probably also took Falin months, until after her brother had left and she had no one but her parents, to realize why her mother had been doing all those things.

And I know they're not the same. Even misguidedly, Falin's mom was trying to help her, not make fun of her like those boys in my class. (Though, as a queer person who also cares a lot about the queercoding in Falin's storyline, a parent trying to 'exorcise' their child of a fundamental part of them the parent thinks is evil or corruptive? yeah... that's not perfectly wholesome)

But do you know what I did, when I finally figured out the game was always meant to make fun of me?

To me, it looked like I had a choice.

See, those boys eventually figured out I didn't understand that they were being mean to me. I'd laugh every time I managed to catch one of them, I was visibly having fun. And while it no doubt only made me more of a weirdo in their eyes, they never informed me that I shouldn't be enjoying myself. That the point was for me to feel hurt.

So now that I did know, I had a choice. I could either get upset, and let the insult land as it was supposed to. That wouldn't stop them, because making fun of me was the original goal. Or I could ignore it and go on as usual. They had already accepted that I didn't get it, and they weren't gona stop me from having fun, so why should I?

And the thing is that I had... one friend, in that whole class. One person who actually liked talking to me and hanging out with me. I was lonely. And the 'game' provided me with another social interaction, mean-spirited as it was, that I desperately needed. And it was so delightfully simple. Navigating actual friendships as a kid with autism and adhd was so fucking complicated, and I'd never know when I might break an inivisble rule. But I knew the rules to the game perfectly!

Sometimes, if I was chasing one of them, the others would trap him and hold him down so I could tap him. In those moments it actually did kind of feel like I was playing with them, rather than against them. And it didn't change much, they didnt start actually liking me. But they were willing to roll with the fact that I wasn't upset, and I took advantage of that because I needed to.

So you can look at Falin seeing the best in her parents as her being naïve, but I look at this page and I see myself, at first unable to differentiate between playing and being made fun of. And then later, when I did see the difference, deciding not to get mad about it because that'd mean losing that social interaction, and I couldn't afford to.

Like I said, Falin probably first realized this in the year she spent with her brother gone, and everyone else avoiding her like the plague. If she refused to talk to her parents, like Laios did, she'd have no one left.

I see a lot of people relating to the fight between Laios and Toshiro. that frustration when you realize someone you thougth was your friend actually hates you, and they never said anything, never gave you a chance to fix it because you had no idea that you were even doing something wrong! And I can see that, too. But sometimes, when people don't fully hate you, it feels better to go along with the pretending. Because adressing it won't fix it. Because the problem isn't a specific behaviour, it's you. And if they're willing to tolerate you, despite the fact that it's you, then you'll take it. Because other people do hate you, so this is the best you'll get.

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi meta #falin touden #laios touden #neurodivegent #autism #adhd #long post #this one got REAL personal oops

[youronlydarlin]

warning: kinda sad ANGST, Simon losses you :( , ooc kinda?? But he's soft for you only, trust me bro

This was kinda inspired by that one part in the comics where our poor, Si holds his mums skull, n he jus'... Kinda nuzzles into it. I dunno it just bought on some sad feeling, mkay...

Simon who slightly raises the cup of tea he's drinking each time he has one, just to let you know he's relaxing. Or trying his best too, at least. Doesn't know what he'll do if he worried you from beyond the grave. Sometimes he looks at all the belongings you left behind. Saying how they probably miss you, but not nearly as much as he does.

Unlike some, Simon uses your things. He doesn't want the house to go through the pain of loosing you too. So he drinks from your mug, and sits on your chair. Reads your favorite books, but never takes out the book marks in case you want to continue reading them. He also completes your bucket list for you, and even though he's the one doing them he always whispers 'good job, to the wind, hoping they'll carry the messenge to you.

Simon who speaks to your framed pictures. He remembers each, and every memory behind them. "Bet your happy... Now it'll always be my turn to grab the 'bloody groceries.." he jests. He hopes that one made you laugh. Knowing you, you would've. It's a mystery how you always laughed at his lame jokes. Though your laugh's always been better than the awful punchlines.

Simon who passes by that cafe you bugged him to go with you to, and he feels his throat go dry. He never got to take you there because of a sudden call from Price, telling him about an urgent, albeit sudden, mission. He definitely regrets not taking you out on dates more often. There's so many shops opening that he knows you would've loved to see.

Simon who's heart breaks at how quickly the world turns without you. Everything's moving so quickly, leaving him behind like it's already moved on, and he hates it. He hates how there's less clothes to fold now. Food is served, but only for one. The taste of it is flavorless, and dry. It's times like these, that he wishes he should have took the time and learn your recipes.

But what's worse, is that your side of the bed is cold. And it'll remain that way forever. At times he'll reach for you absentmindedly. Nightmares about war traded for dreams about you, but during those dreamless nights where sleep doesn't visit he'll stroke your pillow the same way he'd do to keep your hair out of your face, and pull the covers over the empty space you once occupied. He wonders if it's cold where you are right now. But just know that he's always willing to warm you up if ever you come back.

Simon who...

Stands at the doorway. Bag slinged over his shoulder, full of everything he needs and more for deployment. He knows he can't leave without properly saying goodbye, so he fishes out his wallet, and digs out a picture of you. He holds it up to his face, and it's funny. How you're not even staring at the camera when the photo was taken. No, you were staring at him. This one's always been his favorite. So he clears his throat, and wishes you don't hear the slight shake in his tone.

"..By now you would've told me to be careful.. And I will, by the way. But, m' sorry for all the times I didn't...'

....

" I have to go now. Don't need them gettin' on my ass for 'being late.. so.."

....

"..You just rest now, ok, love? There's nothing else for you to worry about' anymore. I love you, always. Wish me, and the boys luck, yeah?.."

He gives a light kiss to your photo, and it's as if you're with him when he steps outside the door..

a/n: This was a challenge to write, and I don't know what to feel about the results. I'm just polishing my english, I guess. M'not good at writing angst, you can probably tell, also my grammar feels off on this one, again. English isn't my first language, sorry. So please correct me on any mistakes I've made! But putting all that aside, I hope you like this more than I do! And, always remember that you are loved, and cared for! Have an amazing day, my darlings!

Yours, truly,

–dolly

#cod x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #simon riley x you #simon riley x reader #cod imagine #cod x reader angst #ghost x reader angst #Ouchy my feelings #call of duty x reader #x gn reader #x female reader #x male reader