#neurodivegent

[lgbtlunaverse]

This page from the adventurer's bible makes me want to cry

Like basically any neurodivergent dungeon meshi fan, I see a lot of myself in the Touden siblings. But I was blindsided by just how much I suddenly related to Falin in this little comic from the adventure bible's complete version.

It's about the Touden siblings' differing relationships with their parents, and why Laios still holds their treatment of Falin against them, while Falin herself doesn't.

We know that Falin was isolated and ostraziced by their village after she saved Laios from a ghost, displaying her uncanny affinity for magic. Her parents, instead of defending her, sent her away, which angered Laios so much he ran way himself before Falin even left for magic school, hoping to make a living so he and Falin could live together alone.

He tells Marcile this, but when she goes to Falin, she says she sees things differently. Her father sent her to magic school to protect her form the rest of the village without having to cause a conflict. He didn't explain that, and we actually see her burst into tears when he says it.

But, well... Laios was gone for a year before Falin went to magic school, and everyone else in the village avoided her. The understanding Falin has with her parents to me looks like one borne out of necessity, she literally didn't have anyone else to talk to.

And this is where we get to the page that made me want to cry

Like I said, I relate to the Toudens because I'm neurodivergent myself. that feeling of suddenly realizing you're disliked, but not knowing what you did wrong or what you should have done instead? Yeah... that's one I recognize.

When I was around 9 years old, the same age Falin is in this comic, a bunch of kids in my class decided to make a "game" where you lost if you touched me. It was basically the 'cheese-touch' from diary of a wimpy kid, except I always had it and couldn't pass it along. They'd pretend I was poisonous or disgusting and run away from me screaming or gagging. The point was to make fun of me. But my autistic little 9 year old ass thought "Oh I get it! It's tag but I'm always it!" So I... played along. Running at a boy and having him fall on the ground screaming in fake pain because you tapped him is, in isolation, pretty funny.

It wasn't until months into the "game" that I realized it was meant to be meanspirited. That the reason I was the one who was always 'it' wasn't an arbritrary rule but the whole point. Because I was weird and gross. I wasn't in on the joke, I was the punchline.

Falin may have come to understand her parents' intentions, but she didn't always. The adventure bible actually tells us that she at first didn't even notice that the rest of their village disliked her. She clearly knows now, but she had to be told. So when her mom tried to exorcise her, she just saw it as an activity she got to do with a mother she usually didn't get to spend much time with because of her poor health. It's only Laios who notices something is wrong.

(Sidenote, Laios being hyper-aware of people's poor attitudes towards Falin but completely blindsided when he's in the same spot, like with Toshiro, is also very relatable as an eldest sibling)

It probably also took Falin months, until after her brother had left and she had no one but her parents, to realize why her mother had been doing all those things.

And I know they're not the same. Even misguidedly, Falin's mom was trying to help her, not make fun of her like those boys in my class. (Though, as a queer person who also cares a lot about the queercoding in Falin's storyline, a parent trying to 'exorcise' their child of a fundamental part of them the parent thinks is evil or corruptive? yeah... that's not perfectly wholesome)

But do you know what I did, when I finally figured out the game was always meant to make fun of me?

To me, it looked like I had a choice.

See, those boys eventually figured out I didn't understand that they were being mean to me. I'd laugh every time I managed to catch one of them, I was visibly having fun. And while it no doubt only made me more of a weirdo in their eyes, they never informed me that I shouldn't be enjoying myself. That the point was for me to feel hurt.

So now that I did know, I had a choice. I could either get upset, and let the insult land as it was supposed to. That wouldn't stop them, because making fun of me was the original goal. Or I could ignore it and go on as usual. They had already accepted that I didn't get it, and they weren't gona stop me from having fun, so why should I?

And the thing is that I had... one friend, in that whole class. One person who actually liked talking to me and hanging out with me. I was lonely. And the 'game' provided me with another social interaction, mean-spirited as it was, that I desperately needed. And it was so delightfully simple. Navigating actual friendships as a kid with autism and adhd was so fucking complicated, and I'd never know when I might break an inivisble rule. But I knew the rules to the game perfectly!

Sometimes, if I was chasing one of them, the others would trap him and hold him down so I could tap him. In those moments it actually did kind of feel like I was playing with them, rather than against them. And it didn't change much, they didnt start actually liking me. But they were willing to roll with the fact that I wasn't upset, and I took advantage of that because I needed to.

So you can look at Falin seeing the best in her parents as her being naïve, but I look at this page and I see myself, at first unable to differentiate between playing and being made fun of. And then later, when I did see the difference, deciding not to get mad about it because that'd mean losing that social interaction, and I couldn't afford to.

Like I said, Falin probably first realized this in the year she spent with her brother gone, and everyone else avoiding her like the plague. If she refused to talk to her parents, like Laios did, she'd have no one left.

I see a lot of people relating to the fight between Laios and Toshiro. that frustration when you realize someone you thougth was your friend actually hates you, and they never said anything, never gave you a chance to fix it because you had no idea that you were even doing something wrong! And I can see that, too. But sometimes, when people don't fully hate you, it feels better to go along with the pretending. Because adressing it won't fix it. Because the problem isn't a specific behaviour, it's you. And if they're willing to tolerate you, despite the fact that it's you, then you'll take it. Because other people do hate you, so this is the best you'll get.

#dungeon meshi #dungeon meshi meta #falin touden #laios touden #neurodivegent #autism #adhd #long post #this one got REAL personal oops

[abnomi]

fell in love with him the second he came on screen like HAAYYYY HAAYYYYYYYYY👋👋👋

#chicken run #dr fry #he is lovely what more is there to say #i think its rather humorous how hes a big villain in the movie #when he invented probably the most humane way to process chickens #hes interesting thats for sure #my art #i like being a normal person #i could treat him right btw #HES SO STIMMY I CANT HANDLE IT #he isnt only just stimming at this point he is The Stimulus itself #theatre kid number uhhhh idk like 3 ive hyperfixated on. who is the third? idk #neurodivegent

[alice-makes-things]

When you’re the new manager but you’re so neurospicy (confirmed dyslexia / dyspraxia diagnoses; probable AuDHD due to family history but who the heck knows) that whilst tidying the previous manager’s incredibly messy office so that it actually makes sense to your neurospicy brain you have a true dyspraxia moment and ACCIDENTALLY TIDY YOUR CAR KEYS AWAY SOMEWHERE WITHOUT NOTICING until the end of the day when you try to get in your car but you can’t because hello no keys so you have to go back inside to try and find them but you’ve tidied so well that you CAN’T FIND THEM and also yes it’s dark outside now and your neurodivergent flap panic has reached an event horizon and your library is *definitely* haunted so eventually you get so spooked by the sound of disembodied footsteps that you give up, abandon all hope, and walk home.

#I am highly competent #the irony is my keyring says highly gifted but easily distracted #how did I get this job #neurospicy #neurodivegent #dyspraxia #dyslexia #adhd #autism

[strangedandelion]

Ironically enough, nobody seems to be aware of the fact that it's dyspraxia awareness week!

If you're seeing this, please do reblog to spread awareness <3

#dyspraxia #actually dyspraxic #neurodivegent

[wingedarchivist]

The song malfunction by steam powered giraffe really hits different as a neurodivergent robotkin

#robotkin #damn #otherkin #neurodivegent #they actually have a lot of lyrics where I go ah. yeah that is about me #like in brass goggles and automatonic electronic......

[penginlord]

My favorite days are when the executive dysfunction says "oh you wanna play that video game you really like? Nope, not today sorry", but thankfully I've found a loophole where if I take a shower it resets it's preferences for the day.

#i can only get away with taking a shower because its just “stabding under water doing nothing” and when my executive disfunction acts up #it only lets me do “nothing” tasks like watch YouTube or scroll tumblr/reddit #for some reason movies aren't allowed #but then when im in the shower ot resets and i can wash myself and continue on with my day #mental health #neurodivegent #executive dysfunction

[neurotypicalabusesurvivor]

My cluster B child abuse me😡😡😡!

Cluster personality disorders are caused by childhood trauma most of the time. How did your child develop a personality disorder?🤔🙄

Bro really, your saying I am responsible for my adult child behavior 😡😡😡!

If you abused them to the point of developing childhood trauma disorders then yes you are responsible for their behavior when it is heavily influenced by there disorder.🙄

That doesn't make abusing me ok😭😭😡

Your not being abused your suffering the consequences of your actions but it doesn't matter because you should be in jail for being a child abuser.😡🖕

#childern #child abuse #childhood trauma #childhood #children #aspd thoughts #aspd #psychopatic #psychopathy #npd posting #actually npd #npd #mental illness #leftism #ableism #neurodiversity #medical model #actually neurodivergent #neurodivegent #actually neurodiverse #bpd thoughts #actually bpd #bpd tag

[toadalled]

Posted this on Twitter ages ago and some people seemed to like it. It’s my own rendition of the bi pride flag representing my own experience with my sexuality and the influences being neurodivergent has on it. Anyone is free to use!

Disclaimer: I don’t have any issue with the original flag or its meaning, this was just a personal experiment for me to explore colors and themes!

#lgbtqia #lgbtq #bisexual #bisexual pride #bi pride #bi pride flag #bisexual pride flag #sunset flag #Sunrise flag #Gay #queer #sapphic #neurodivegent #neurodiversity

[a-photo-of-a-ghost]

I HATE BEING A PICKY EATER, I HATE HAVING TEXTURE/SMELL/TASTE/FOOD AVERSIONS. People act like being a picky eater is a choice, I can GUARANTEE YOU if I could eat the things you want me to, I WOULD. I hate being seen as rude because I can’t eat someone’s food the way they make it, I hate being seen as difficult when picking a restaurant with people, I hate seeing beautiful dishes and not being able to eat them because they taste or feel disgusting to me. Those plates of colorful roasted vegetables and potatoes and herbs?? I would give anything to enjoy those 😭 they look amazing, but NOOO my brain processes that stuff as inedible.

#autistic #autistic problems #actually autistic #asd #picky eater #food aversion #sensory issues #neurodivegent #autism

[thechroniclegames]

Alexithymia flag

(PT: Alexithymia flag /end PT)

No ID yet

I've made this flag since 1. I didn't like the og flag bc, honestly, it's ugly and it didn't even make sense and 2. Don't like the creator for reasons.

Ok so the lines don't have a specific meaning but the reason I chose purple is because it symbolizes mystery and emotions are a fucking mystery to me so- (also I love purple), there are different shades of purple so it would symbolize that people experience alexithymia differently and the butterfly is there because I found that on Pinterest and couldn't think of something else

#neuropunk #alexithymia #neurodivergency #neurodivegent #dividers by cafekitsune

[fanshitby808]

Collecting neurodivergent friends like Yugi-oh cards and placing them in the attack position when their special interest is mentioned

#neurodivegent #autism #actually autistic #autistic memes #shitby808

[azisicons]

[ AZIRAPHALE AUTISM ICONS ]because of the thought that Aziraphale might have autism is something I really admire, and as someone who is autistic, this just makes me happy!!

#Aziraphale #icons #autism #autism spectrum #good omens #tv show #amazon prime #bbc #neil Gaiman #terry pratchett #neurodivegent

[snarky-synesthete]

You’re a lot cooler than you think you are. Our Lady of the Hills Dolly Parton once said, “Find out who you are, and do it on purpose.”

Feeling like a dweeb is the “finding out” part.

Follow those things that make you feel cool - the most confidently “you” - and jump down any interesting rabbit holes you find along the way.

Building a life you love with a brain that feels like a liar? It’s tough. But so are you.

I’m proud of you.

#neurodiversity #adhd #positivity #quotes #dolly parton #building confidence #neurodivegent

[catgirl-kaiju]

Breaking: Strange Little Men Found Building Whimsical City in Local Sidewalk Crack

#shitpost #comedy #humor #silly #news #actuallyautistic #actuallyadhd #neurodiverse #neurodivegent #imagination #fantasy

[thoughts-of-a-heron]

its fun having no volume control and having your voice be really really quiet so anyone cant hear you or really really loud and suddenly you're too loud for everyone and oh god you've just annoyed everyone

#neurodivegent #neurodivergence #autism #autistic

[the-delta-quadrant]

#adhd #neurodivegent