#these jokes are funny but at the same time i feel like the reason lucio is the way he is is because morga actually spoiled him | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

witcherarcanathings · 4 years

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When You’re Gone - An Asra Lucio x Female Reader Angst part 3

Part One (Lemon), Part Two, Part Four, Part Five

(Okay so, the reason I took so long writing this is because I was projecting myself onto MC, and writing a story that was too similar to something I recently went through. I was having trouble completing the story line, because my own story was unresolved. So here you go.)

Second submission for The Terrifying Ten challenge posted by @vesuviannights

Smut (under the cut), Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Asra could almost feel you slipping away from him as the days went by. But he couldn’t help it, he had to go. He thought you understood that.

It hurt him that he had to ask others about you just to find out how you were. You’d gotten upset with him before, but this was different.

Since that day at the fountain, he had sent several letters, and all of them had gone unanswered.

As a gentle wind blew across his soft white curls, he sat cross legged on the grassy mountain path several hundred leagues from Vesuvia and silenced himself sending his consciousness out to search for you.

It took several moments before he saw you, your back turned to him as you gazed into the palace’s reflection pool. Although Asra longed to see your face, he daren’t get too close. He knew if you sensed him, you’d push him away again, and he couldn’t bear another rejection. Silently he watched you burning bits of paper and then scattering the ashes into the water. It only took him a moment to realize what they were: his letters. Angry and upset he broke the connection, resolved to hurry home and make things right.

You spent your time at the palace burying yourself in work, attempting to put Asra in the back of your mind. You thought the busier you are, the less time you have for your thoughts to drift to the smell of fresh brewed tea, flowers blooming in the sunlight, violet eyes and a warm smile welcoming you home after a long day.

“Shit,” you curse. You were doing it again. It was so easy to remember the parts of Asra you loved, and even easier to forget the parts of him that caused you so much grief.

With a bundle of his recent letters in your hand, you lay lazily along the reflection pool, burning each one as you read them. When the first one came, you were happy your heart thrumming with the possibility of his return only to be disappointed when you realized it wasn’t.

More letters came, but you were still too angry to answer. Too hurt.

Every so often couriers would arrive with messages from Asra. When you hadn’t responded, his letters increased.

“Love, I’m sorry. Please don’t be upset with me. I’ll be back soon.”

“ I hope your doing well. Faust says you’ve been working hard at the palace. Please take care of yourself.”

" The sunsets here are really beautiful here. They make me think of you.”

“Please answer my letters, dearest. I miss you.”

And the final,

“Please.”

The worst part of it was the guilt you felt at not answering. But you just couldn’t now. Deep down you believed you never would.

Sitting in the garden, you burned his latest plea in the palm of your hand, scattering the ashes to the wind as you sat staring at one of the lilies in the reflecting pool, studying the dragonfly resting on the soft pink petals. The white marble felt cool against your skin as you sat with legs folded along the edge.

Lost in thought, you didn’t notice the sound of footsteps behind you, or the glint of a golden arm reflecting in the gentle waters.

“Still brooding over your master?” Lucio broke in as he leaned casually against a nearby column.

You scatter the last bit of ashes out of your palm before turning to face him. “Is there something I can assist you with, Count?” you ask, your tone conveying that you’d wish to be left alone.

A charming grin graced Lucio’s face, his twinkling eyes meeting yours. “Help me? No my dear, sweet magician, I was thinking maybe I could help you.” he answered.

“I’d be interested in knowing how,” you retort, a laugh catching in your throat. “The only way I’ve seen you solve problems is by throwing money at it.” It was a joke, but it did have some truth in it. Lucio had changed much since he’d made and broke his deal with the devil, but there were still parts of him that would always remain the same.

“Well in a way, that’s what I am doing,” he continued as he stepped closer to you. ”Starting with paying the five coin citation for throwing litter in my pool.” he teased, offering you his right arm to help you up. “And lastly, by giving you this.” He uncoils an invitation placing it before you. “There’ll be a party tonight. I’ll take your attendance as repayment for the fine.” he said smiling.

You’re up on your feet in an instant as he gives you a moment to smooth out your clothes.

“I think I’ll pay the 5 gold.” you quip.

Lucio’s throaty and genuine laughs fill your ears as his hand closed the invitation into your palm. “You’re always so funny, my dear,” He sighed, “Be there at 8 o’clock. Don’t be late.” there was a bit of urgency in that he quickly covered with a confident smile as he squeezed your arm.

“I won’t be.” You say, your tone a bit more serious than you meant it to be.

“Don’t be so grim! It’s a party not, a death sentence.” Lucio coaxed.

“One never knows when it comes to your parties, Lucio.” you shrug as you glance at the ornate invitation.

“Oh you’ve got nothing to worry about, I swear you’ll have the time of your life! You might even meet someone new.” He winked before turning to leave you standing in the garden with the invitation in your hand. “See you at 8.”

Looking at the invitation, you noticed something curious.

“Lucio,” you shake the invitation in the air. “This says seven!”

The count turns, his smile as wistful and mysterious as the answer he gives you. “I know.”

Confused, you watch his proud and confident gait as he walks away.

Lucio had been hunting you the moment he heard you and Asra were done with.

Well, that's not exactly how Portia had put it: during their weekly card game she had let slip that you two were going through some ‘issues’. Whatever that meant. For Lucio he decided it meant that Asra was gone and now Lucio finally a shot with you.

Tonight's party was all a part of his elaborate plan to woo you. He had made sure the food, the music, everything would be to your liking.

As he dressed for the evening, he thought about exactly what he would say, what he would do to make sure you were his tonight. Sitting in front of his vanity with his legs crossed, he made sure his eyeliner was as sharp and dramatic, with just a bit of a silver dusting that you remarked at his last party really brought out the silver in his eyes. He’d worn it many times since then, hoping to catch your eye, but so far he’d hadn’t received further comment.

He wanted his makeup to be perfect, for it to draw you into his eyes and never look away. Applying the finishing touches, he looked himself over appraisingly. There was no way you wouldn’t want a piece of him.

When you get to your room, there's several boxes on the bed, wrapped in gold foil and tied with red ribbons. You read the tag on the largest package, already knowing who it’s from. "Compliments of his highness count Lucio"

Sighing you opened the box. Not only did you have to go to a party, you had to wear some faddy costume that was-

Your last thought was stolen away from you as push away the white tissue paper to reveal the most beautiful gown you've ever seen: midnight blue, with twinkling moons and stars. Lucio knew your tastes well. Smiling, you walked over to the mirror and pressed the dress against you, swaying as you imagine how you’d look tonight. Ah, it was stunning - just looking at it made you feel beautiful as the first flutterings of happiness radiate within you.

At seven o’clock you’re surrounded by glittering lights and elegant guests dressed up in their finest. Heads turned as you entered the ballroom. You’d gotten used to it by now, your appointment as royal magician gave you some status. It wasn’t unusual for you to garner attention. But you knew it was more than your court appointment that had them staring. No, it was the fact that as you crossed the ballroom floor you looked like the queen of heaven.

It wasn’t long before you were asked to dance by a visiting dignitary, and as you dance you tried to forget the longing in your heart. As the music played your mind wandered, and your body moved with practiced steps and gentle nods as your partner blathered on about some important business deal before he asked ‘wouldn’t you like to come sailing on my yacht this weekend?” You shook your head no, bowing low to excuse yourself. You needed a drink.

Leaning against the wall, you relaxed as you drank and watched the other guests. Normally, you wouldn’t mind one of Lucio’s parties. They were always wonderful, and to be honest you needed a break. But tonight, all the glitz and glam seemed to fall flat. Being a wallflower was more familiar to you, and you were glad hardly anyone noticed you. Everyone except the count. Although he hadn’t said a word to you the entire evening, he’d been watching. You looked exactly as he envisioned as you entered the ballroom. He watched as you initially looked around and got your bearings. When he saw you noticing the flowers, he smiled exactly when you did in the exact same way. He watched you ferret out an empty table to sit at before you were asked to dance. And then laughed when you rebuffed their advances. “Nice try pal, but she’s taken. I’ve got her all figured out.” He muttered to himself. After your fourth dance partner, he watched as you quietly excused yourself and grabbed a drink. Now was his chance. “See to everything, will you Valerius? I’m going to check on our guest of honor.” he said with a tap to the Consul’s shoulder.

Although you’ve stopped dancing, you find your heart racing the closer it gets to 8 o’clock.Your eyes occasionally look up at the large golden clock on the far side of the ballroom, and although it’s silly you can’t help but wonder why Lucio said he would see you at eight. He was there when you arrived, but something about the smile he gave you told you he was up to something.

Anticipation builds, and your heart continues to race until the clock strikes eight and you feel yourself releasing the breath you hadn’t realized you were holding.

But you soon learn that you relaxed too soon, as a cool metal arm slips into yours and you find yourself side by side with Lucio.

“Enjoying the party?” Lucio purrs.

“Yes its-”

“You don’t have to lie.” Lucio interrupts. “It’s Asra isn’t it? Pity even all this isn’t enough to distract you from your heartache.” He says waving an arm to the extravagant celebration going on around you.

You sighed in defeat, hoping that it wasn’t that obvious. “I’m sorry, Lucio. Everything’s wonderful and I’m glad I came it’s just-”

Lucio brought a finger to your lips to silence you.

“You don’t have to be sorry.” His low, wistful voice interrupted. “Don’t worry I have something else that might help.” He nods his head forward, and after giving him a skeptical look you let him lead you through the ballroom, curious as to what he had in mind.

With a straight backed, regal stride he guides you somewhat further away from the crowd to one of the ornate tapestries hanging along the ballroom walls. He takes a quick look around before peeling back the tapestry and motioning at you. “Come on, hurry up before anyone sees.” he urges, his golden arm gently ushering you in.

It’s dark but as your eyes adjust you can see you’re in an alcove behind the tapestry.

“So this is what you wanted to show me?” you scoff. “There’s nothing here but a blank wall.”

With an impish grin, Lucio leaned in to whisper in your ear. “No, pet. This is what I wanted to show you.”

Without warning his lips crash onto yours, teeth gnashing on teeth, a bit bloody as he bites your lip. His kiss leaves you gasping and breathless as he pulls you in, his tongue slipping into you mouth as your lips part.

“I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll never think about that magician again,” Lucio growls.

And that’s what you want isn’t it? To finally forget? No more tea leaves, and the smell of rain or moonlit nights sprawled out on the rooftop.

Now it’s fire and soft fur, the sweet musky smell of roses in the summer sun, and the promise of living deliciously as your hands explore the smooth, superior muscles of his chest. Your fingers tangle in the golden curls as along his pectorals, as your own dress is pushed down to your waist, the shoulder of your dress now snug against your elbows as Lucio cups your breasts, rolling them beneath his coarse, practiced fingers as you keen into his every touch.

"Lucio...Lucio," you whisper as he ravishes your body, his feverish kisses covering your neck and chest, before his canines ghost around your areola, making you shiver.

"You like that, doll?" He groans as his tongue circles your nipples.

"Y-Yes" your voice shakes while his deft tongue strokes over you again. The fingers of his flesh hand find his way to the folds of your sex, teasing you and touching everywhere except your aching clit.

Impatient, you push his hand to where you want him, but he holds firm, nipping your neck in warning.

"Not yet, kitten. Daddy wants to play first."

Teasing your entrance with his fingers Lucio chuckles at hearing needy whines leaving your lips. He slips one, and then two fingers in, growling low at the wetness slicking your thighs and the noises you make for him. Bracing his shoulders, you arch up into his touch,his fingers pumping into you as he devilishly ignores your aching clit.

“Lucio, please…” You let out a deep frustrated moan,as you rock into his hand.

“Shh…” Lucio whispers, “Try to stay quiet. At least until we’re alone.”

He'd pictured making you come undone so many times, and he wanted to savor every moment as he studied your soft features. With your back pressed against the alcove and nothing but a tapestry keeping you from being seen you nod silently, biting your lip as Lucio curls his fingers into you and his thumb flicks across your clit.

“Touch me,” Lucio groans as he grinds against you, pushing you further against the wall. You can feel how hard he is as you palm him through his clothes, making him hiss.

“Again Lucio," You breathe as you undo his pants, his proud cock presenting itself into your hands, “Tell me again.”

He begs you to touch him, before you start stroking his cock in time with the movements of his fingers inside you and watch him unravel under your touch. This way of making love was different from Asra’s - it was so fervent and needy. Lucio's whimpering, hips thrusting into your touch as you stroke him. “Good...it’s too good,” he growls, his lips never leaving yours. It doesn’t take long for his stuttering thrusts turn into raw unsteady breaths, and those breaths into muffled, masculine groans.

The noise of the party is just outside the rich purple and gold tapestry that created a secret world of passion under its shadow occupied by only you and your Count, his low, distinct voice a heady whisper in you ear.

"Please... please let me fuck you my beautiful Magician."

You open your legs in silent approval and with one quick movement he's inside of you. Humping away like a desperate animal.

"Thank you thank you thank you," he whimpers as he fucks into you murmuring praises and sweet promises."so good, so beautiful."

"Lucio...please. more." You sigh arching up into him.

"Yes, pet. Anything you want. Always what you want" he groans as he fucks harder,

Moving his arms around your body, he brings you close to his chest. His hips slam into you, causing you to bite into his shoulder to muffle your cry at the feeling of his wide head hitting your g-spot.

“I want you so much, you’re all I fucking think about.”

He comes, silent and intense as your own orgasm finds you.

Hurriedly Lucio pulls out of you, quickly helping you dress before arranging his own clothing.

"Follow me, quickly." He growls, his arm locking around your waist as he leads you both from under the tapestry and into the crowd of the ball room. You can only hope you've put your clothing back where it should be. You squeeze your inner muscles tightly when you feel his seed starting to slip out of you, and you blush at the lewdness of it.

Thankfully the bustle around the palace has died down and the corridors are silent as you both made your way to Lucio’s wing. His room was dark and cold when you entered it, and he cursed the servants for their superstitious nature. Although several years have passed since his return, the staff still feared entering his wing.

"Hold on Lucio, I've got it." With a flick of your wrist a roaring fire appears in the fireplace, and you smile in satisfaction.

A blur of white rushes you and in moments you're in Lucio’s bed, naked and breathless as he trails kisses over every inch of your skin. Making you writhe and moan on his fingers once more.

Smirking he removes his fingers, licking them clean while you whine disappointment. You are not empty for long. His cock is nudging at your entrance and you push back onto him, feeling the tip slip in.

“I’m the one giving you all you need. I want you to be mine.” he growls, “Forget Asra, Forget everything else except me.”

He slides into you, pressing a low purr out of you as he bottoms out. His eyes are focused on his length buried inside of you, as Lucio enjoys the mewl leaving your lips.

“Please…”

Gripping your waist Lucio starts moving. He’s sliding slowly in and out of you, letting you savor the feeling of his cock stretching your walls. Nothing is rushed, but no time is wasted in his lovemaking.

Hands fisting the sheets, mouth hanging open you cry out in pleasure when he starts dragging you onto his cock with every powerful thrust. His golden claw digs into your hips, cutting into the skin as he claims you. It’s a slow and desperate burn as the two of you collide.

Lucio watches your reaction when he starts moving faster, going harder to make sure you will fall over the edge once more. He loves the way you lose control when you come, totally falling apart for him.

A lovely and breathless silence fills his chambers as the two of you lay in post coital bliss.

It lays unbroken until you feel him leaving the bed, and your heart sinks. Of course you’re just a one night stand. It was foolish to think any different.

“Please don’t...don’t leave.” Your hand reaches out for him, your eyes clouded with building tears.

You hear a quiet sigh as his fingers slip into yours. “I’m not going anywhere pet,” he soothes. “I’ll stay forever if that’s what you want. I just need to take this off before bed. I’ll tear up the sheets in my sleep if I don’t.”

With one practiced motion he removes his alchemical arm, placing it on the nightstand before returning to your side. With his right arm, he pulls you against his chest before you slide the covers over both of you.

Sleep finds you soft and warm as Lucio holds you. The last thing you see before you close your eyes is his gentle dreamy smile.

The morning afterwards, it feels strange waking up next to someone after spending nearly a month alone.

Even when he isn’t traveling, Asra's usually gone when you wake up--either downstairs working in the shop, trading in the marketplace, visiting the palace or just plain gone. The last time you remember waking up next to someone was your birthday. Asra stayed that day.

But Lucio didn't need a special reason to stay. You were it. "I'll stay forever if you want me to." You remember him saying. The words pulled at your soul, and it felt good even if it wasn't from the person you wanted it from.

Your newfound desire for the count was a strange feeling that worried you. Suddenly you were panicking, and you began questioning yourself. ‘Oh gods,’ you whisper, careful not to wake the man sleeping next to you.

Silently, you slipped out of his bed, white silk sheets slipping away from you as your feet hit the marble floor. Dressing quickly, you stuck your head out the door to peek down the hallway.

Thankful the coast was clear, and with one final look behind you, you leave-your steps brisk and light as you made your way down the hallway and back to your room, chest pounding as you wondered if last night was a good decision, searching for meaning in every act, every word that was said.

Thank you for reading, and as always your comments are always appreciated!

P.S. Sorry I didn’t tag anyone who asked. Frankly I have no organizational skills, and my memory is terrible. Please forgive me.

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sunflowersseemhappy · 4 years

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“You’re not making this any easier.” Muriel X Female MC (Fluff... I think?)

I am dying for requests please send any you want in!

“You’re not making this any easier Muriel,” sighing in aspiration you pinch your tongue between your teeth in concentration, meticulously teasing the tangles from Muriel’s damp hair as he fidgets under your touch. Perched on a stool you can feel the ache in your arms growing with the passing of the evening, it had been a busy day at the shop. With customers coming and going all day, you had barely had time to eat your lunch. After arriving back in Muriel’s hut, you found him struggling out of mud caked clothes and looking like he had been dragged through a hedge, unable to watch him struggle you insisted on helping him clean up.

“I could do it myself.” Grumbling from his position seated in the large metal tub, Muriel tries to turn his head to look at you, carefully keeping the rest of his body submerged in the soapy water. You smirk at his modesty with a roll of your eyes, massaging a hand though his scalp in your search for offending burrs and leaves tangled in his hair.

“Oh really?” You tease, picking a burr from his hair and placing it softly aside. Trailing your hands over his shoulders and massaging the base of his neck, you lean up next to his ear. “Because from the way I’m looking at it you would never be able to find all these burrs that you said were bothering you.”

“I’ll just cut them out,” averting his eyes Muriel splashes the water with his hand and looks into the fire. Combing your fingers one last time through his hair you gently place a kiss at the base of his neck with a wry laugh.

“No need to be so dramatic!” Pushing yourself up from the stool you stretch out your arms above your head with a yawn. Muriel glances up at you with a thoughtful look as you continue, “besides, I like your hair how it is. It makes you look handsome.” Walking to the side of the tub you kneel looking into his eyes and trailing a hand in the water.

“Y/N are you okay?” Encircling your hand with his own, Muriel leans close toward you. You had been more muted than usual; he liked your endless chatter even if you said it was normal for a human being to talk as much as you did.

“Hm?” Snapping out of your daze you can’t help but squeeze his hand, shaking your head with a soft smile. “Just tired, I was run off my feet in the shop today. Seems everyone has a problem they need me to deal with lately, what I wouldn’t give for a break.” You chuckle out beginning to stand, but Muriel holds you in place with his hand giving you a hard stare.

“Come here,” Pulling you toward him Muriel gets you to sit on the edge of the tub, barely catching yourself you wonder what he’s planning. “Take off your clothes,” you look incredulously at him and the tub, surprised at his forwardness and the fact the tub is not nearly large enough for the two of you.

“What?” You barely stutter the words out, pausing as Muriel catches your chin softly with his fingers raising his brows expectantly and pulling you into a kiss. His mouth grazing the corner of your own quickly and softly beckoning you to him. Breaking away Muriel runs a finger over your cheek and pleadingly looks into your eyes.

“Your break starts now. Okay?” His tone commanding and insistent as he sits in the water, suddenly you can feel the weight of the day upon your shoulders as he looks at you.

“I-” you begin to complain but his pleading eyes stop you, relenting you roll your eyes and kick off your boots. “Okay.”

Quickly shrugging on a robe, you tread up next to the tub, Muriel sitting up as you cross over toward him. With just him inside the water is already threatening to spill over the sides, but he remains unmoving watching you.

“We’re not both going to fit.” You chuckle, propping yourself on the side of the tub and running your hand through the water once more. The water is not nearly as warm as you hoped it would be. “It’s not very warm either…”

“Shut up,” grabbing your waist Muriel all but drags you into the water causing water to pour over the sides onto the wooden floors. Laughing as he pulls you to sit against him Muriel encircles you with his arms, pulling you against his chest and resting his head against your shoulder. Huffing you settle against him, comforted by the hug and the water soothing your skin. Summoning magic to your fingers you call upon heat to spread through the water, warming it to a comfortable degree. Sighing in contentment you sink down.

“So demanding.” You joke craning your head to look up into Muriel’s face, your heart flutters at the look he gives you. His eyes softly gazing down at you, you can’t help but notice the way his skin shines in the firelight, the flames of the fire caught in his green eyes. Adoration building up in your stomach you shift your gaze back down to his arms wrapped around you. Glistening with water you can’t help but notice the scars stark against his skin, you’ve seen them before, but the water almost makes them appear fresh.

“What is it?” Muriel questions from behind you, earning your attention back to his face but wincing at how far you have to turn your neck. Seeing this you feel Muriel shift, his arms unwarping from around you and gesturing for you to turn to face him as he lowers himself in the tub. You turn your front to his, ungracefully but effectively laying atop him. Raising your arms and folding them on his chest you lay your head upon them.

“Just thinking,” you feel your eyes draw to his, faces barely a foot apart. One hand rests against the small of your back, steadying you whilst the other strokes your shoulder. Muriel looks thoughtfully at you.

“About what?”

“Your scars…” You wait for a negative reaction, but none comes. “It was just a thought; you’ve never told me how you got them.” Muriel’s brow furrows his eyes flicking down and then back to you as he hears you audibly swallow.

“I-why?” Confused Muriel shifts, you can’t tell if it’s because of the conversation or the position the two of you are in but you can feel him tense.

“Um,” you heave out a breath and shake your head. “Never mind, it was a stupid question…”

“Y/N, nothing you say is ever stupid.” Muriel answers softly, sliding his hand from your shoulder Muriel cups your cheek and searches your face “Why did you want to know?”

“Well… I’m curious, we’ve been together all this time and I still don’t know everything.” You admit, cautiously shifting a hand to trace the large scar that trails from his shoulder to his midsection. His breath hitches, “I think scars are interesting, they tell a story. A lesson you learned. I want to learn everything about you Muriel because you’re the most interesting person I’ve met.”

“What if you don’t like the story?”

“I may not like it,” you tilt your head and place your hand that was tracing his scar over his heart. “But that part of your life is over and you’re not a bad person. You’re just a person who had to protect the people he loves, I can’t say I wouldn’t do the same for you in a heartbeat.” At this Muriel frowns, for a moment you think you’ve crossed a boundary, but Muriel lets out a long sigh.

“What do you want to know?”

“This one, it’s the largest so I bet it has a good story.” You point at the one you traced, slipping your hands around his neck you lean your head against his chest. Muriel’s heart thumping steadily with his breath as he begins.

“It was my first battle in the arena…” Carefully forming the words as if its hard to remember Muriel’s face takes on a grave appearance. “Lucio pit me against an experienced fighter, wanting to test me. I was fighting for my life the entire time. He nicked me a few times…” He lifts his hand up to trace the scar above his eye in thought.

“Then?” You question.

“I started beating him back, when I thought it was over, I turned my back on him. Only to realise he wasn’t finished. He came at me with his spear swiped me in the chest, it was a bad wound and I couldn’t get back up. Only reason I was alive was because Lucio stopped the fight. Guess he wanted a bit more fight out of me.” Muriel’s face takes on a dark scowl as he thinks of the Count and the arena, but he remains gently stroking your shoulder and holding you close. As if he’s afraid of loosing you, even in the small tub.

“Muriel…” You pull yourself up facing him, his eyes catch the worry on your face, and he tries his best to look you in the eye. Smiling in understanding you lift your lips to the scar over his brow and kiss the soft skin there, trailing your lips down his nose and kissing him gently on the lips. Responding to your touch Muriel kisses back sighing against your lips as you pull back and trail more along his jaw and to his shoulder where the large scar lays stark against his skin.

“I always wondered about yours.” Muriel stops you catching your attention, you were surprised he had ever noticed your own small scars peppered along your shoulder blade. They were so small you forgot they were there sometimes, but he had noticed, and that made you appreciate him all the more.

“Oh,” embarrassed you shake your head. “No, you don’t want to hear it, it’s stupid.”

“I told you mine,” Muriel defends, the corners of his mouth tilting upward. But it was only fair, no matter how embarrassing the story was in your eyes.

“It was the first week I came back, Asra had left to get some supplies and I wasn’t too confident on my legs. I was thirsty, so I got up and tried to walk. I got a glass and filled it, but then I dropped it and…” You wince at the memory.

“I slipped. The glass cut me up and Asra found me an hour later lying on the floor in a pool of blood. I felt so bad because he blamed himself. It was… It was my first scar, but I’m pretty sure I had some before. My knee aches sometimes and my jaw feels funny when it rains. I’m pretty sure it’s like phantom pain or whatever but there aren’t any scars.”

“You’re right that is stupid,” Muriel admits with a laugh.

“Hey!” Despite the jest you laugh with him, laying your forehead against his chest as you do so. Muriel’s arms pull you up to his face and he peppers you with kisses, laughing all the while. You let out a pleased sigh as his lips graze your jaw and run across your neck to the scars on your shoulder, both of your movements causing water to drench the floor around the tub.

“Just so you know, I adore you. Scars and all.” Leaning back Muriel looks down at you as you lay your head back on his chest tiredly closing your eyes.

“I love you too.” Your breath out heavily, eyes fluttering shut. The next moment you’re asleep pressed against Muriel as if he was a lifeline.

“Y/N?” All that answers him is a mumble and a snore, Muriel lays a hand on the back of your head. “You really needed to relax huh?”

#muriel #the arcana #the arcana game #asra #mc #apprentice #oc #lucio #nadia #julain #portia #story #prompt #cute #fluff #bath #no hanky panky

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ollifree · 3 years

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1. What are things they both find funny?

Pet antics. They share a morbid sense of humor about the plague that anyone else who lived in Vesuvia at the time would find abhorrent. They have different limits on it and know where each other’s is.

2. If they could each describe each other in one sentence, what would it be?

You’re gonna limit Lucio to one sentence? Lucio? He’s gotta talk about how smart Skylar is, how good he looks, his talent in magic, his thoughtfulness. Lucio’s favorite words for Skylar are, in order, “Pretty, precious, perfect.”

I’m taking Skylar’s from a prompt from last year.

“Should I start with his eccentricities or…? He’s loud, brash. More cunning than people give him credit for. He’ll have an absolute meltdown if he can’t get his makeup right and have himself convinced two seconds later he always gets it perfect. He wears white because he’s always covered in dog hair. He makes sure everyone knows what his opinion on something is, and will do everything within his power to fix something he deems wrong.”

3. If they complimented each other, what would they say?

Lucio makes a point of complimenting however Skylar looks, but it’s a rare day Lucio doesn’t praise Skylar’s intellect and dedication to his work.

Skylar’s go-to descriptor for Lucio is “handsome”. His favorite (non-extensive) list of things to compliment Lucio on are: how hard he tries, how brave he is, his confidence, how passionate he is when it comes to the things he cares about.

They each compliment each other’s ass at least ten times per day.

4. What would be their ship name?

Either "grind against your bones until our marrows mix", or "the awful edges where you end and i begin", both of which are lyrics from Ludo's The Horror of Our Love.

5. What activities do they enjoy together?

Favorite activities are lounging on each other, doting on the pets, and people watching. Skylar gets coaxed into doing magic (however mundane) so Lucio can compliment him. In modern verse they binge watch bad reality tv. Lucio will put up with being outside when it snows only because Skylar likes outdoor winter activities and only because Lucio knows he’s gonna get some hardcore snuggle time at the end of it.

6. What is/are their love language(s)?

Lucio’s are gift giving (showing) and words of affirmation (receiving). Skylar’s is quality time. Physical touch is mandatory for both of them.

7. Write a ~300 word love scene for them.

This question is arophobic.

8. What were their first impressions of each other?

I’m always down for some self-fic plugging [link].

Skylar couldn’t have had a better introduction to Lucio: Julian had brought Skylar to Vesuvia for the menagerie, and Skylar and Lucio immediately clicked over their shared love of animals. Lucio truly has a unique personality and Skylar was excited to meet a new kind of person. Add on Julian’s endorsement of the Count and it’s no small wonder Skylar wound up staying in Vesuvia long past when he would have left anywhere else.

9. Have they made each other cry?

Yes. Mostly via mutual vulnerability and happiness. Then the plague happened.

10. Write a ~300 word argument scene for them.

This is a direct call out for me not writing my fic yet.

11. What causes them to fight?

Lucio’s Lucio-isms getting out of hand, or Salsa destroying something of Lucio’s. He can’t get mad at his fur babies so Skylar gets to take the brunt of it. Their biggest arguments happened over the coliseum and how to deal with the outbreak of the plague.

12. Do they have differing political opinions?

Before Lucio’s death Skylar didn’t invest himself enough in Vesuvian politics to give a concrete answer in that area. Insofar as Lucio’s views of being in a position of power? Yes they absolutely have different opinions.

13. Name something they would never do for the other person.

I was originally going to say “nothing”, then I remembered Lucio has one. So Skylar’s currently sitting at a “nothing” with an asterisk of “unless I remember something”.

Lucio’s is being around Skylar when Skylar’s sick. Lucio has a phobia of catching whatever’s going around after the plague and has to nope out of situations where he’s around illness. That being said he is hyper aware of Skylar’s health, as after leaving Vesuvia Skylar becomes more prone to colds and flues.

14. What would be a dealbreaker?

Skylar's dealbreaker almost happened, which is someone's wants getting in the way of / actively opposing another's needs. Lucio's would be unfaithfulness.

15. What are traits they dislike in one another?

Nothing they outright dislike, but they do recognize the faults the other perceives in themselves and help them improve in that regard. For Skylar it’s his non-confrontational nature getting his needs and wants ignored. For Lucio it’s empathizing with others and taking responsibility for, and dealing with, the consequences of his actions.

16. If they broke up, what would be their opinions of each other?

How dare you.

17. What senses (sights, smells, feelings, etc). remind them of each other?

Never in anyone’s life would Lucio have expected to get an attachment to the smell of books yet here he is. The same goes for hot chocolate. Skylar walks into the makeup department and it’s just like walking past Lucio’s collection.

18. What would be their love motto?

19. If they could each write a single line in their marriage vows, what would they be?

This isn’t in the marriage vows because they have the awareness to go “if we say half the things we feel in front of anybody, concerns we are not equipped to address in an acceptable way will be raised.” After the ceremony, when they’re on their own, this exchange happens:

Lucio: “Love me. Until we’ve been dead so long our bones are dust.” Skylar: “Not good enough. It’ll have to be until the world is ash.”

20. What is a promise they have made to each other?

Similar ones to what’s above. Trauma-induced codependency reinforced by magic ritual body trading meta sure is something.

21. How have they changed each other for the better/for the worse?

For the better: by helping one another with the issues listed in question fifteen. For the worse: they gain a lot of codependence for stated meta reasons, along with a very deep-seated fear of losing each other again.

In the end they do leave Vesuvia. Ultimately they are going the route of “this is a very important lesson we’ve learned about responsibility and the consequences of our actions. Now let’s get the fuck out of the city we’re responsible for and one of us nearly ruined with his actions.” They acknowledge the hypocrisy of this, and while in the end they’re better off outside Vesuvia it is there.

22. If their lives were what was originally intended at birth, would they have still fallen in love?

Because I’m a sucker for them the answer’s yes. They only hit the love stage to begin with because Lucio was able to put the work into unlearning and breaking the cycle of the worst parts of his tribe’s culture. I will say though that Lucio staying with the tribe would make it vastly more difficult for them to meet. Skylar still does his traveling, as his parents didn’t have any major expectations beyond “well-functioning adult” when raising him, but considering how infamous the warring tribes of the south are I don’t see travel into the steppes being easy or recommended.

23. Write a ~300 scene between them with no dialogue, only body language.

I honestly may come back to these but 300 words is a lot for my amount of spoons rn.

24. What is something they have each had to forgive the other for?

“Skylar has never done anything wrong in his life.” - Lucio Arcanagame

Salsa’s definitely destroyed a few things Lucio’s particular towards, and as it’s impossible for Lucio to be mad at any of his fur babies Skylar gets the brunt of it.

Along with Lucio getting snippy with him for Salsa mauling his good shirts, Skylar’s had to forgive Lucio for a lot. Mostly it’s Lucio-isms that make things get blown out of proportion. Then there’s the Coliseum. And Lucio’s deals. And the plague.

25. What moves do they know work on the other?

“Want to have sex?” / “Yes.”

If all else fails, Lucio knows he can get Skylar out of a book and back to real life by smoochin’ behind Skylar’s ears.

26. What are their favorite parts about physical affection/sex?

Sex is a cathartic extension of their shared love language, physical affection. The orgasms are an added bonus.

27. Do they have any kinks/fetishes that they share?

All of them. Like I say it as a joke but it’s just easier writing-wise to have them on the same level. Realistically it’s like 80-90%. Both of them want to please their partner and have a good time doing so. Their communication on that front is solid.

28. Write a ~300 fantasy one of them has about the other.

This question is acephobic.

29. What are each of their signature foreplay moves?

“Want to have sex?” / “Yes.”

30. Write a short exchange of dirty talk between them.

What up I’m Olli I’m almost 27 and I still haven’t learned how to write porn.

Lucio:

“Does puppy want me to fill him up?” “So precious…” “Look. Look at what I’m doing to you.” “Beg for it.” “Not yet. You piss when I tell you to.” “Do you like the taste of your cum that much?” “Good boy.”

Skylar:

“How you feeling, handsome?” “Are you ready to behave?” “What a mess you are.” “Fuck me so full I can’t move.” “You want to be good, don’t you?” “Master.” “Fuck fuck fuck fuck! Fuck me, fuck me.”

31. What do they love to do after sex?

Shared baths.

32. Do they enjoy morning or night sex?

Why are we limiting when the sex happens? The time of day doesn’t affect their enjoyment of it. They’re exhibitionists with impunity there is literally no limit on when the sex can happen.

#arcana #lucio #skylar #oc things #otp: live inside you #it took me a year and three months to finish this #but it's finally done! \o/#so much development have been done #and so many answers have become more concrete

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oopcio · 4 years

Note

Can I have mian six reacting to have a gen z child?like they do alout of funny shit?

ho my god yes tis me

asra:

oh sweetie, he loves ur energy, but can hardly keep up with you to be completely honest

sometimes has to get u out of trouble when u get urself into it

but will protect u to the ends of the earth

if anyone tries to dampen your mood or make you feel bad, he will send them that death glare (you know the one i’m talking about) and will deal w it in private

even if he is not as big of a fuckin hilarious memer as you he certainly appreciates the fact that you are

loves that u make his worse days nore bearable, just by giving him a reason to smile at ur stupid antics

ur so cute awh 🥺

nadia:

if this takes place during the point when nadia faces headaches, she’ll actually be a bit annoyed first at the amount of energy you have

like, who has that much energy? that’s baffling!

but she gets to know you and you’re so FUNNY WTF

how could she ever hate you if you were this funny the whole time???

absolutely loved being around you but tries to prepare, if she can, beforehand, to make sure she won’t experience any headaches while she’s out w you so she can enjoy your company without interruption

everyone knows better than to mess w u over ur energy bc shes the countess duh

julian:

LOVES ur energy omg loves it loves it

cannot be as funny as u but GODS does he wish he could

he tries oh so desperately to make u laugh half as much as you make him laugh like,,, daily

if anyone has anything negative to say abt u he will shake a fistful of leeches in their stupid puny face

“you’re just mad because you don’t have a sense of humor”

starfish posing trying to protect u from any rude words

muriel:

oh boy...........

you’re quite the loud one, aren’t you......

asks you many times to maybe tone it down just a little????

if u do, awesome!! he appreciates it

if u can’t, he won’t say anything. he just kinda winces when u yell all loud n shit

but he can recall when he first met u and u were so quite and reserved like him

then he realizes this must be how you behave when ur comfortable w someone

and then he feels really special

and he starts to slowly enjoy ur energy and humor

u will NOT catch him laughing. u may see a little chuckle or smthn but he will never be the cackling type. i’m sorry

no one has balls steely enough to complain abt u bc muriel’s huge and scary

portia:

she literally has the same personality u cannot convince me otherwise

fight me if u wan

anyway yall get on like a house on fire

ur the types to keep adding more funny stuff onto the joke until yall are clutching ur sides and gasping for breath

gods forbid if yall have ANY piss in ur bladder bf u get started

everyone remarks that yall r meant to be since u are so alike

whether they mean it as a compliment or an insult doesn’t matter

u both accept it as a compliment

if anyone tries to say anything, u’ll rip them to SHREDS

i jus picture her w the big ass hoops and the glossy lips w the hand thing as she spits fire and burns ur haters to a crisp

if this was a modern au u cannot tell me she would not be a nicki minaj stan

lucio:

u have been dubbed the official

✨royal fool✨

u make him cackle so much he’s lit rally got to have u next to him at all time

“and that’s on... what’d you say? period?”

yep.

that’s on period.

he will literally pay u to insult the people he doesn’t like

or someone who insulted him like once when he was nine

and he makes a decree that anyome who insults his ✨royal fool✨ will get the CHAIR

jus kidding lol

he makes u roast them in town square in front of everyone

(a/n: the way this took me way too long... i’m so sorry PFHAHAHA also i jus kinda described me in here hope it applies to yall too oops)

- jiah 💖

#the arcana #the arcana reacts #gen z #shameless self insert #hope you don't mind #nooratheking #jiah writes

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summercourtship · 4 years

Note

Would you ever do a fan route for Lucio? Like what would the plot be from beginning to end?

Would I? No, probably not. But I can definitely tell you what I would want to happen! It’s honestly fairly boring because I’m just a big fan of exploring characters vs having an intricate plot. It is a dating sim, though, so you’d think that character development would be the priority but alas....

We know that I am a big fan of slow burns, and it’s kind of baffling that the Arcana isn’t more of a slow burn because it has the perfect mechanics for it (as the game is set up a lot more like a regular novel than other dating sims I’ve played). So Lucio’s route would be a slow burn. But he’s constantly horny on main, how would that work? Simple: we have him stay stuck in his goat form for a while, to get to know him and not just rely on something superficial like his looks to drive our attraction to him.

We start out fairly similar to his actual route, with MC sneaking into his wing to try and find clues, but running into Lucio’s ghost. Unlike the first two times they’ve been up there, they don’t run away this time. Instead, they approach him, asking him if he is the late Count. Of course, he responds very dramatically, woe is me-esque, but MC also understands that he kinda deserves to be dramatic. Because he was left alone in the remains of his body for 3 years.

But soon MC has to leave, but they promise to keep visiting Lucio, both to get to the bottom of the mystery/help him out of the situation he got himself into, as well as because they’re simply curious.

Occasionally they sneak out and bother people around the palace, but Lucio can only be away from his wing for so long. But MC is beginning to genuinely enjoy his company, so is there really a problem here? Other people are starting to notice how they disappear for hours on end, but MC always just chalks it up to “solving the case”.

Maybe, eventually, MC starts to develop feelings for Lucio. Because while he has moments of narcissism, he also has moments where he is sweet and funny. Not at all the tyrant others describe him as.

MC finds a spell while helping Asra out in the shop one day, a spell that seems like it could help Lucio out. Maybe not permanently, but at least for a while until they can find a way to get him his body back. As soon as they can, MC brings the spell to Lucio and is like “GET THIS”. It’s basically the spell from the game.

Yay! Lucio has a kind-of-body again! And he takes this opportunity to really amp up his flirting (not that he wasn’t before, but it is very hard to take flirting from a goat seriously). ~oh worm~~whatever shall happen now~

More sneaking around but now Lucio keeps making flirtatious jokes.

Oh, also, of course Julian’s innocence is proved. MC doesn’t want to reveal how they know, mainly for selfish reasons (if they reveal that Lucio is still sticking around, that creates a whole new slew of problems). It would probably be best to go about the same route that his innocence is proved in Julian’s route because I legitimately don’t remember how it’s proved in everyone else’s route. Which means less screen time for Lucio, which is a bummer, but he doesn’t need to be there 24/7.

So the masquerade rolls around, and Lucio has started acting... off.

Meaning he’s been acting very guilty and flighty, barely making any jokes or even asking for praise. Which worries MC, but when they press him about it, he simply shuts down and refuses to talk. So they chalk it up to him not wanting to deal with the memory of the night he died, which is a pretty good reason if you ask me.

But then the Devil shows up, and a deal is struck up- a deal that seems beneficial to both parties. But MC is a dumbass and doesn’t realize that they may be being tricked.

An end to the plague in return for Lucio getting his body back? Sure, why not!

But ooh... wait. MC’s body is the same as Lucio’s body. A fact neither of them realized and just thought they had an awesome connection from the get-go. Idiots.

Asra finds a way to contact MC and essentially does a “WHAT HAVE YOU DONE” and gives them a run-down of what exactly Lucio has done, as well as the whole “hey you were dead”

So MC is not. happy. with Lucio. And confronts him about it, feeling betrayed.

And for a moment, it seems that he doesn’t care. But then something clicks, and he actually feels regret for his actions, for hurting someone he lov- cares about deeply.

So he promises to help MC get their body back, and then ignores the other feelings he has because Who Has The Time To Deal With Love?

So now we enter the magical realms. Lucio, MC, and Asra because we love third wheels.

Right before they enter the Devil’s realm, Lucio turns to MC and just kinda goes “hey...Iloveyouokayletsgodothis”

And MC is like “despite everything that’s going on and what he’s done, I can’t not make out with him”

And Asra goes “-_- can we please get this over with”

But when they’ve confronted the Devil, Lucio’s chains are all made visible, and MC has a “oh shit what do I do he’s in pain what do I-” And makes a grab for the chains, which buckle under their touch. Realizing that they have the power to actually fix this problem, they attempt to break all the chains, but are stopped by the Devil before anything substantial can actually happen.

So instead, Lucio has to face his fear and break the goddamn chains himself through standing up to the Devil and like... growing as a person or whatever. It’s cheesy but what do you expect from me here.

Upright Ending: The chains actually break and MC and Lucio (...and Asra, I guess lmao) fight against the Devil. Lucio probably brings out a cool sword because I, personally, love swords and he’s good at that kind of stuff. MC uses ~magic weapons~ on the offense/magic shields on the defense. The Devil isn’t permanently defeated, because he’s the Devil, but is sedated long enough that they can escape. It’s not a perfect ending, and Lucio does still have to deal with the consequences of making deals and not fulfilling his end, but they’re learning how to be happy. Maybe Lucio abdicates his throne in favor of someone else (maybe even starting a democracy idk it seems like the system of governing they have isn’t working lmao), maybe he just decides to be a better ruler, i dunno.

Reversed Ending: The chains don’t break. Lucio is stuck at the Devil’s mercy and MC, at last minute, runs forward. “I want to make a deal.” MC makes a deal for Lucio’s safety, maybe offering to take on Lucio’s debts so that he can be free, maybe offering to be stuck in the Devil’s realm for a while (No This Will Not Lead To Romantic Entanglements But It Is Very Persephone-Hades blah blah blah). I like the former idea more, because then MC has to deal with the consequences of Lucio’s actions, and he doesn’t grow as a person.

Yeah, I guess that’s what I’d want to happen.

#ask #anon #the arcana #count lucio #my parting gift

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katharaya · 6 years

Note

PROMPT: "[Asra's] greatest fear [is] to wonder if that means he’s bound to lose her again" + rei accepting the devil's bargain in the most recent update

well then. one helping of angst and misery coming up

—

“Yes,” she says, with only the barest hint of hesitation. Her eyes are locked on Faust, curled in on herself in the Devil’s claws.

Oh, Rei, he thinks, of all the proposals you could have said yes to, why this one?

“Reasonable and efficient,” the Devil says, almost crooning. It grates on Asra’s nerves. “I like you, Rei. So refreshing after the last mortal who dealt with me.”

That almost makes Asra laugh. Of course. Of course even the very Devil himself wants to wash his hands of Lucio.

But—

“No,” Asra says, which only makes the Devil smile. He tries to tug Rei back behind him. He wants her nowhere near that smirk. “Rei, you don’t know what the Devil has planned!”

“True enough,” the Devil acquiesces amicably, before his grin turns knife-sharp, twisting something in Asra’s gut. “But it wasn’t your decision to make, Asra.”

Rei looks at him askance, like she’s gauging something, before she turns to the Devil and says, too sweetly, “Will you give us a moment first, please, Mister Devil, sir?” as if she’s merely talking to a customer back at the shop.

The Devil howls in laughter, and for a moment Asra is afraid he’ll squeeze Faust without meaning to. But he just looks back at Rei with an amused baring of his too-sharp teeth.

“Such politeness!” he cackles. “You could stand to learn a thing or two from her, Asra. Very well, Miss Rei—” He glances at Asra as he says this, and Asra bristles. “—you may have your moment, but do not tarry long. We’re on a strict schedule.”

And then Rei curtsies, of all things, which makes the Devil laugh again, and he eases his grip on Faust to a more comfortable but still restricting cradle.

Rei pulls Asra just to the entrance of the clearing, and he rounds on her before she can get out a word.

“Rei, you can’t!” he hisses under his breath. He’s pretty sure the Devil can hear them anyway. “This is—it’s a trap, Rei, I can’t let you do this!”

“He has Faust!” she whispers back. “And I can’t go back on my word now!”

“There has to be some other way!”

“I’ve already decided, Asra,” she says quietly, with the same finality as a lover leaving, as a door slamming shut.

(This is not the first time she’s told him this.)

“No!” He surges forward, cupping her face between his hands. He’s so, so close to crying. “I won’t let you throw your life away again!”

Doesn’t she understand?

He’s shaking now, breathing hard as he rests his forehead against hers. He’s only half here; the other half is back at the shop, three years past, where See if I care! lingers like poison in the air, strangling the I love you he wishes he’d said instead. “I won’t, I won’t,” he whimpers. “Not this time. Not again.”

What cruel circles their lives turn in. He wonders if it was a fluke, that they ever managed to be happy at all.

She eases his hands away, and it feels too much like goodbye that he chokes on a sob, an apology three years too late sticking in his throat. She offers a comforting smile, and he doesn’t want it; he wants her to stay. Doesn’t she understand?

“I will be careful, Asra. And I’ll be back soon.” She kisses him, barely—just a quick touch of lips on lips, light like the brush of a butterfly’s wing. “I won’t be parted from you so easily,” she says, stroking a thumb along his jaw. The joking quirk of her mouth doesn’t feel funny now, not at all. “We’ve not nearly made up enough for lost time.”

“Are we done, then?” the Devil calls, his tone a perfect mimicry of boredom. “Very well, here is your dear Faust.”

She slithers across the grass and into his hands, a trembling shudder running through her as she makes contact with his warmth.

Came to help …

It is a relief beyond words when he feels the magical tether that binds them together snap back into place. “Of course,” he tells her, bumping noses in an old accustomed greeting. She nuzzles at the corner of his eye, and a single teardrop comes away to rest atop her head. “I could never abandon you.”

Rei looks relieved too when he turns to her, wearing a gentle, satisfied smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “Nor you, Rei,” he promises.

(He’s made that mistake once, and it is one time too many.)

“Most heartwarming,” the Devil says, in tones that indicate his heart is still something of a tundra. “However, Rei and I need to settle the other half of our bargain.” And then he grins a grin that could only belong to the devil, offering his arm to her in a mocking caricature of gallantry. “Now then, Rei. Your time and company, if you please.”

Trepidation shows on her features for the first time. When the Devil reaches for her, Asra wonders if he could get away with slapping that hand away.

Don’t touch her! he thinks furiously, but before his mouth can form the words, the Devil pulls Rei toward him and they disappear in a plume of gritty, gray smoke, and Asra almost doubles over sick.

He did it on purpose, Asra reasons with himself, but it doesn’t stop the images of belching furnaces from worming into his mind anyway. He takes the few faltering steps to where her mask had fallen as she vanished, dirt marring the delicate deep blue of the painted kingfisher feathers.

There had been fear in her eyes as she was whisked away. He wonders if she was afraid then, too, when he had left her to her fate.

(Not again, not again, not again—)

When his fingertips brush the wood of the mask, he thinks he hears her calling his name.

“Rei!” he shouts, but he doesn’t even know which direction they’ve gone. “Rei, we’ll find you! I promise!”

Silence. Only the stars are around to hear. If they’re saying anything, he doesn’t know; she never taught him how to listen.

—

He bursts through the greenery of the maze, tumbling into Muriel and Inanna as they round the corner.

“Asra!” Muriel sighs with obvious relief. “You found Faust.” And then he takes in Asra’s disheveled appearance, the wiped-away tear tracks on his cheeks, the kingfisher mask in his hand without a face to wear it. Tightness settles at the corners of his eyes. “Where is she?”

“I—” She’s gone, she’s gone, and I don’t know how to follow— “I don’t know.”

For the second time in his life, Asra looks at his hands, bereft of her touch, and thinks, despairing, we should have run when we had the chance.

He should have learned by now, shouldn’t he? Look at him now, paying for the same fatal mistake, with only a mask without its owner and half a heart left to show for it.

A column of smoke, thick and cloying like a funeral pyre, rises from the center of the garden, before moving unnaturally fast toward the ballroom doors.

“This is bad,” Muriel grumbles, already on Asra’s heels as he sprints back to the Palace, his heart drumming an unsettled staccato beat and his mouth tasting too much like ash.

—

“Faust!” he scolds her, voice cracking high in his panic. “Please don’t run off!”

He reaches her and picks her up, thankfully before she gets stepped on, but she’s crawling agitatedly over his hands, saying Friend! Friend! over and over, something mournful in the voice that echoes in his mind.

I know she’s gone, he thinks frustratedly back at her. That’s why we—

He freezes, feeling the air in front of him shift. Only faintly, like a sigh as someone passes him by, but there’s something lonely about it all the same.

“Rei?” he whispers, afraid to even breathe wrong lest the feeling disappear entirely. The loneliness shivers, urgency drawing an exclamation point desperate for his attention. “No … I can sense you, but—”

Dread draws icy fingers down his spine. You’re somewhere I can’t follow, again.

He focuses his magic, pulling her from the ether like he’d pulled her from the earth, fragment by nail-breaking fragment—a hazy sketch of blue fabric; a daydream of dark hair; a distant memory of brown eyes the color of comfort, of home.

She’s there. He knows she is. He can feel her, like a tiny flicker of sound echoing his own trembling existence. But she’s little more than an outline, a shadow in the water, a monochrome reflection in a glass window on a rainy day. She’s the barest suggestion of a presence drawn in shifting shades of gray, like someone had started painting with the leftover cinder in a cold furnace pit and left their work unfinished. And when he reaches out to touch her—

—she’s smoke and mist, no better than the ghost that had haunted him all those forsaken months when the freezing rain made his very bones shiver. He looks at his hand where it should feel the warmth of her chest, but it’s just—there, hovering uncertain when it meets no resistance, clenched into a fist where her half of his heart should beat.

He knows he can’t afford to panic, kneeling here in the middle of the ballroom floor, but his breathing goes ragged all the same.

I’ve lost you, I’ve lost you is an insidious taunt in his mind. How many times does he have to lose her before the world is satisfied? A hundred? A thousand? Once was already too much. Please, he thinks, not again not again notagainnotagain—

A booming voice rends the air, and Asra comes to the sinking realization that she hasn’t been lost to him so much as stolen—

—just as he comes down the stairs, grinning like an unrepentant thief.

“Dear Vesuvia!” Lucio shouts. His plagued eyes are locked on Asra, like he knows exactly what he did. “Did you think I had left you for good?”

Asra’s world turns plague-violent red, and it’s only the soundless movement of her not-there mouth that stays the spark of fire already building in his hand.

#the arcana #the arcane game #asra #asra x apprentice #the arcana fic #the arcana spoilers #katharayawrites #rei #on one hand everything is terrible #but on the other ive discovered that rei is the kind of person #who will address a dubious magical entity as mister devil sir #so thats some new character insight i guess

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mahaliciously · 7 years

Text

Atlantis

Rejoice children, for I have finally contributed to the Overwatch fandom with something other than memes.

I’m also choosing to contribute under the flag of my favourite pairing, sadly a rare one, but it’s okay because content is made to be created and I just loved every second of writing this thing!!

It unexpectedly turned out much longer than the initial headcanon suggested, but it’s definitely for the best since it constituted a solid character study for me that’ll help me for my future writings :D

SPECIAL KUDOS TO THE ANON WHO ASKED ME AFTER THE ONESHOT HERE IT IS AND TO THE LOVELY @xallyxcatxs, @tart276 and @gngu FOR THEIR NEVERENDING SUPPORT AND KETTLE NOISES LMAO

burn in cybun hell

And of course, special thanks to @b3tar3ad3r for the beta :D I recommend going to them in case you need help!

IF YOU LIKED THE ONESHOT, DON’T FORGET TO SUPPORT IT BY REBLOGGING IT OR BY CHECKING MY AO3, IT’S UP THERE AS WELL! O/

archiveofourown: click here!

Word count : 8915

She wouldn’t have been able to tell when her heart had started to ache at the thought of him, or when she’d started to miss her shots when she’d hear him laugh through the voice chat. Wouldn’t have been able to pinpoint the exact moment the stories he told her about his love conquests had started to sting, or when she’d stopped making fun of the girls he’d had wrapped around his fingers like rings.

‘yo d.va when u gonna invite genji and lucio again on one of ur streams??’

Hana Song briefly glanced at the Twitch chat before taking down an enemy to her left, swallowing a curse.

‘so trueeee,’ another message chanted. ‘genji was so cute i love his voice’

‘how about lucio? dat dude is a human puppy lmao’

‘rofl’

The chat box was hectic, messages piling up at an incredible speed, english and korean weaving all over the screen. It didn’t bother Hana who was used to the fraction of a second she had to keep up with the fleeting topics and requests. Her bubble gum popped as she eliminated another enemy with a headshot and she readjusted her camera.

“Aww look at this,” she chimed teasingly. “I used to like Lucio and Genji but it does seem like they’re causing my own fanbase to neglect me now.”

The chat exploded with new messages and she smiled for the camera. Inside, she was pretty much crumbling.

She had organised that last-minute stream in hopes to keep her mind off her budding crush and the existential crisis that had come along with it. Instead, her fans had been spamming her for more content with her friends, and by extension, with the one person she was trying to distract herself from.

She almost felt like sighing, though she knew the camera and the attentive eyes that were watching her wouldn’t miss it. She glanced again at the chat box.

‘just genji x d.va gameplay tbh he’s got some dope skills i want to see competition between them’

Her heart jolted in her chest and she missed. The split second was enough to take her down. The camera switched to the kill cam, a flashy crimson message announcing her death as she popped another gum bubble. She almost winced at the ridiculous come and go her character had made that caused its death killed. She’d hesitated.

It was over for her and she didn’t feel like spectating the rest of the game, so she reported her full attention to the chat. What was this ridiculous suggestion to stay in a room alone with Genji Shimada and play videogames until she died of a heart attack?

Impossible.

But it annoyed her more than it embarrassed her. Or maybe a bit of both.

Because she could have organised that a few weeks ago. She could have invited him over platonically, wrecked his ass and watched her entire fanbase cheer for her. Just like she would have invited Lucio today.

But now she couldn’t.

She wouldn’t have been able to tell when her behaviour had changed, but she could guess the trigger. Maybe that one drunk night they’d spent playing a certain dumb fps game was at cause. Maybe finding her intoxicated self on top of him was the reason she couldn’t stare at him anymore without thinking “I want to spend more time this close to him” and “He’s actually pretty cute”. Maybe that was karma getting back at her for all the girls she’d made fun of.

“Alright,” she announced to the camera, waving. “Sounds like that’s gonna be all for today! Stay cool buns, until next time... Love, D.va!”

She grinned, smile as practiced as it could be, fingers into her signature V right before she turned off her camera with her other hand. She only breathed then.

There was no way in hell she could allow herself to fall for the 24-year-old ninja.

Genji Shimada, playboy extraordinaire, was not the kind of guy she’d let herself be involved with romantically. He was one of her closest friends, too precious to lose over a crush, and her ego would never let her drop to the level of the many girls who pooled at his feet. They had a precise friendship that revolved around platonic, shameless flirting and the certainty that she was the girl he’d never have, he the guy who’d never pursue her. It was but a constant verbal sparring that rhythmed their every interaction. Sass against sass. The very origin of their friendship. Their daily dose of challenge.

Truth be told, he was a lot of great things. He was handsome, even with that ridiculous dyed hair of his, funny, a bit of an asshole but caring still, and he was amazing to hang out with. Along with Lucio, they consisted of a great trio.

Genji was the kind arrogant, Lucio the resident puppy, always happy and idealistic, supporting but probably with one of the greatest senses of humour she’d seen in years, and she was the diva, the princess. All three of them were pretty much a walking disaster. Their brains together only amounted to ridiculous ideas like using Lucio’s speed boost to race on a frozen lake and crash into the snow at the speed of fast, or making fidget spinners out of Genji’s shuriken. They’d gotten a bunch of bruises, but a lot of outweighing laughs and she cherished those two idiots more than she’d care to admit.

Becoming close friends with Genji irremediably led to discover that beyond the playboy reputation and the biting sarcasm, he was a loyal friend. He was boastful, barely ever serious. He was terribly friendly, making everyone at ease in matters of seconds, breaking down fights with a couple of jokes any chance he got. She suspected that was a safe reason that led the girls to run to him in bunches. He was quite like the sun. Summer-like. That, and there was his catastrophic flirting.

He was smooth, she’d concede. But ask her secondhand observer side and she could think of a bunch of hilarious pearls she’d teased him with over the years.

But he wasn’t a sun. Or maybe his rays shone so bright they blinded people and kept them from seeing the deep cracks he bore. Just like any human being. She knew that sometimes he liked to sit on his own because being so social exhausted him, she knew that his gaze got lost more often than he’d like to admit, lost in a whirlwind of doubts he bragged about not having. Like if he’d hurt someone with his raw, spontaneous humour, or if he could have done things better.

She knew he dreamed of travels and adventures, knew that he scolded himself for knowing his flaws but never fixing them. He was a child guilty of acting like a child.

And though she didn’t have the same issues as him, she understood them.

But what had definitely moved her was the intensity of his gaze on that night. There had only been the flashing lights of her screens, sculpting his features, maybe dotting his black eyes as he looked up at her. His cheeks had been almost as red as hers from the alcohol, indicative of the obvious drunkenness of her friend. But it shouldn’t have been weird seeing how they’d played drunk a bunch of times before. Definitely shouldn’t have. She’d been laughing, they may have been playing that game where he holds her wrists and she has to push him back because she was a very strong lady. And she’d been. He had still been holding her wrists in his hands, her own chestnut hair framing his face as she looked down at him. His gaze hadn’t been really focused, hazed by the liquor’s effect, but it had never left hers until he’d pulled her to him and his arms had slithered around her petite figure, wrapping themselves around her. It had taken her a moment to realise he was hugging her.

She’d felt his chest against her face, rising and dropping steadily, smelled his woody perfume mixed with sweat and booze and it should have felt familiar. There had been something in the beating of his heart against her ear though, and she’d loved the warmth of his arms, the little drum of his fingers against the small of her back before he’d said:

“I love you.”

Hana groaned at the memory, shaking her head to snap herself back to reality. It hadn’t meant anything. It had been a platonic confession. The kind they threw at each other to joke around, or to really appreciate each other as friends. Because love was way more than the eros and the grand amour. It was something she firmly believed should be told more without any over calculation.

But in the dim light of her room that night, tangled in a messy hug with her friend, lulled by his breathing and the buzz of her console, her heart had fluttered before she’d fallen asleep, and it had been her biggest mistake.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the 8-bit ringtone of her phone and a familiar contact picture lighting up the rectangular screen of the device.

“Hey there, frogman,” she picked up, trying to sound as enthusiastic as humanly possible.

She could feel Lucio roll his eyes before he even spoke. “It’s Mr. Frogman thank you very much.”

“Sure, frogman,” she replied, teasing. “What’s up?”

“Eh well, the usual,” the musician chuckled. “Just wondering if you have any time to kill with Genj and I?”

Once again, she hesitated. It wasn’t like her, but the bubble of unease that was growing in her chest was distracting her coherent thoughts. She opened her mouth, hoping that it would help her brain form a faster sentence, but she couldn’t decide whether to say yes or no. She knew that Lucio wouldn’t press if she refused, and she was afraid to be disappointed at the beep of her phone when he’d hang up.

She bit her lip. “I don’t really know… I could but probably not for long.”

“Feeling sick?”

“Not really, just meh,” she said with a humourless puff, chewing on her gum.

“Huh,” Lucio acquiesced. “Well we’ll get you better. Healing beats by yours truly and all.”

She really laughed this time. A small, but genuine laugh that cheered her up instantly.

“Okay fine, I’ll see you in 20.”

Swiftly, she jumped into her trainers and grabbed her headphones. That along with her phone and portable console were all she needed in her sweatshirt’s pockets to exit the flat and head towards their usual spot, the arcade square.

The weather was fairly nice for an autumn day. She’d grown used to the occasional chill and the complete closet confusion in the morning. She still loved the salted remnants of summer that floated in the air but preferred the calm and peace of office days. The streets were mostly empty, shops deserted from the jam of customers that came in the evenings and weekends, an occasional laughter from one of the nearby cafés would break the tranquility of the walk. As Hana approached the arcade, the city sounds shifted and fluctuated, roadworks and klaxons replacing the flutter of the trees and the exclamations of children in their courtyard, gasoline perfumes weaving with that of coffee and urine. The sun reflected on the glass windows of skyscrapers and towers, its rays slithering their way through the buildings to lit up the cold, shadowed avenues below as she hurried down the underground entrance. A puff of heat welcomed her when she walked down the stairs, the smell of rubber and iron filling her nostrils, chatter and screeching trains swallowing the noises of the city as she aptly made her way through the wide, tunnel-like corridors of the station. It was a common thing to use the tangle of underground networks to avoid the stoplights and the many avenue crossings, and to Hana, it was more convenient as every single crossroads below had far more indications than the streets and the boulevards above.

She let out a sigh when she finally exited the underground to find the flashy neons of the arcade facing her. Lucky for her, her usual spot with her friends was right outside the station, a little square lost between towering buildings that seemed to have forgotten its existence. As such, there was one old tree in the middle, a couple of broken benches, a café and the arcade. The location was meant to be in a fancy business neighbourhood, but the spot had become so hidden by the city’s continuous metamorphosis that it was mostly frequented by students and a few hippy omnics.

She spotted her friend’s ponytail on the first glance.

“Yo Lucio!” she called, grinning.

“Hana,” the young man exclaimed with a soft smile, pushing off his headphones as he stood up to greet her. “You ready?”

“To beat highscores? Always,” she said before looking around. “Where’s Genji?”

She nervously avoided eye contact as she asked the question, which was in itself a very bad idea since the whole point was for him not to suspect a thing. She scratched her arm and forced herself to look back at her friend, adding a smile for good measure. Lucio didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he frowned and focused his entire attention on her. In that instant, she could feel her own heart stumbling like a cartoon character, panic clutching it under the observing eyes of the musician. She caught her breath, widened her smile in hopes to get him off her back. Finally, he shrugged.

“Saw that college freshman from the other day and followed her inside.”

Ouch.

“Of course,” she said with a nervous laugh. “Typical Genji.”

“Right,” Lucio answered, raising a dubious eyebrow.

Sensing the danger, Hana grabbed him by the hand and pulled him after her and into the arcade. The air was cooler inside, due to the many air vents that peppered the walls. It was dimmer there, blues and pinks lighting the huge room and the machines, green strobes running around the walls and the floor. She glanced around and spotted Genji at a shooting machine, not so far from the entrance. There was a girl with him, more specifically in his arms as he seemingly showed her how to use the plastic gun to shoot the enemies.

From where she stood, Hana couldn’t hear much of their conversation, but she could see the way the girl’s shoulders shook in hilarity, the closeness of their two bodies, the way his thumb gently stroke the back of her hand. His mouth was on her neck, hovering, teasing until he pressed a quick kiss under her jaw. When she blushed, he flashed a satisfied smile, borderline smirk that Hana knew by heart. The girl smiled to herself, elated, and moved a bit closer to him. Too busy to flirt, she missed the shot and looked taken aback by the game over screen, causing Genji to chuckle in her neck and nuzzle her.

It was a sight Hana was used to. She’d seen him coax a thousand of girls before, walked on him making out with a thousand more and teased another thousand if they came asking after Genji. She found it funny, entertaining, didn’t mind the PDA. It had become the usual and he barely even flinched whenever she or Lucio would stumble upon him with a girl, almost said hi and asked about their day.

Well, they had limits. Wouldn’t barge in during more private activities.

It was therefore a sight she was used to. But now she was envious. Envious of the way the girl’s hair curled around his shoulder, her hand under his, the giggles that escaped her tangerine lips. She wanted his arm around her waist too, and his hair tickling her temples and his soft chuckle in her ear. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be one of those stupid girls she laughed at.

Her chest swelled with an all too painful sadness. Envy was a terrible emotion. It didn’t come with jealousy or directed anger, it just nibbled at her, brought doubts and fears and swallowed her whole as she sat alone in her room.

Envy was the very reason she was so upset with herself. For allowing herself to stoop so low, for wishing something she mocked so much. She shouldn’t be crushing on Genji. She shouldn’t wish to be a weak girl, a toy. He would probably be too afraid to ruin their friendship, so she couldn’t even stand where that girl did. He would try to reject her as gently as possible, probably feel bad, she would smile. She would understand that he valued her too much to play with her, that she deserved a real relationship, a caring boyfriend.

And yet… She ached for his touch, and it killed her inside.

She felt something around her hand snap her back to reality, and she glanced down to see that Lucio was tightening his grip. She noticed he was responding to her own steel-tight grasp and that she’d been crushing his hand for the past couple of minutes. She abruptly let go and wondered in panic if she’d outed herself to her friend.

“Wow they’ve brought a new machine!” she announced excitedly to hide her embarrassment, cheeks burning. “Sounds like a new highscore for me to set!”

In an attempt to convince him of her genuineness, she turned around and accompanied her exclamation with a little V sign and a wink:

“MVP D.va ready to rekt.”

“Get good D.va, I already set the highscore to beat.”

She jumped when she felt an arm around her shoulders. Only the familiar woody scent and silvery voice allowed her to put a name on their owner. That, and the more unsafe skip of her heart. She took a short breath.

“Do you hear something, Lucio?” she asked, looking away to dissimulate her sudden difficulty to breathe. “It sounds pretty distant, can’t understand a word. Could it be… A scrub?”

“Wow,” Genji gasped. “How could you call me a scrub? After everything we’ve been through.”

“I have sudden amnesia.”

“You mean you forgot our bonding episode over the delicacies of ramen?”

“Completely.”

Genji gasped again. Louder. More dramatically. The sight was funny, quite Genji-like, and just as expected, his honeyed chuckle followed the antic. Hana felt a little flick on her cheek and almost jumped when she felt his breath tickle her ear:

“You look out of it, could it be you’re jealous?”

She almost choked on her saliva as alarms started blaring in her head.

“Please do enlighten me,” she scoffed, not quite looking at him yet. “I can’t seem to catch what I’m apparently jealous of.”

She knew he was smirking as he leaned closer to her ear, murmuring:

“I saw you looking at us moments ago.”

“Saw me? You mean you look at other girls while flirting with one?” she tried, firming her trembling voice with a huff. “Aren’t you the one trying too hard to make me jealous?”

He laughed and she finally felt his weight on her lessen.

“Can’t blame a man for trying,” Genji conceded, shoving his hands in his pockets as he briefly greeted Lucio with a grin.

“Man you guys should totally sort out this tension you two have going on,” Lucio declared, crossing his arms with a little disappointed shake of the head. “The air is getting hard to breathe lately.”

He chuckled.

“Nah,” the ninja replied. “Might miss our back and forths. Genji and D.va, D.va and Genji, how could I ruin our mythical duo? We’re tension builders.”

“He can’t stand ramyun,” Hana commented. “I’m not going out with a wimp who can’t stand spicy food.”

Genji clutched his chest. “Shots have been fired. Lucio, I need healing.”

Their banter was interrupted by an excited squeal from behind Hana. Turning around, she saw the college girl excitedly skip in front of the arcade machine.

“Genji, look!” she exclaimed. “I did it! I killed the boss!”

“See,” Genji cheered, walking back to his companion. “Told you I had a radar for talented girls.”

The girl blushed lightly, flattered by the compliment. Hana watched her look up at him when he reached her, and she could’ve sworn the girl was dying to kiss him. The sight was painfully evident, and though she knew Genji would undoubtedly play with her for a few days before granting her wish, Hana felt repulsed by her obviousness. How much respect was there in not being hard to get?

She rolled her eyes and sighed, meeting Lucio’s gaze as she turned back.

“You totally like him,” he said, taunting her with the biggest shit eating grin.

“I totally don’t,” she protested.

“Oh come on,” he pressed, wrapping an affectionate arm around her shoulders. “You know you can tell Papa Lucio anything. Especially things he’s already figured out.”

“I don’t see what you’re talking about.”

“You totally do.”

“No, I don’t.”

“It’s okay, no need to beg me, fofinho. I’ll wingman you.”

“I can’t believe you’re doing this to me.”

Lucio looked at her for a full second, studying her silently. “I’ll read that as a yes.”

“It’s not!”

D.va pulled her hood over her head, tugging at the fabric to cover half her face as she groaned. What was her life?

“We’re just friends and that’s how it should stay,” she declared, revealing her eyes from under the hood. “That’s just how we roll. You know it.”

A giggle erupted from where the lovey-dovey couple was standing and D.va couldn’t suppress a wince.

“I’m just a bit touchy lately,” she concluded.

Lucio watched her without a word. His gaze had softened, stance more relaxed as he closed the gap between them. He put his hands on her cheeks and squeezed them, giving her a funny fish face as he did so.

“You know,” he said with a smile. “Reality is the mirror of our very own consciousness. What we notice. Change, on the other hand, is what we realise. And maybe it’s our inability to fathom the entire picture that deceives us into thinking that everything is only what we’ve been, up until now, conscious of.”

She pouted, shoving her hands in her sweatshirt pockets, but didn’t answer.

“In other words… You gotta let the beat drop when it has to drop,” he added, laughing. “That’s always the best part of the song.”

This time, she couldn’t help the little smile that tugged at her lips. “That’s pretty deep, Mr. Frogman.”

“Of course it’d be,” he chuckled. “Wouldn’t be selling albums if it weren’t.”

“Still waiting for that autograph, by the way.”

“Still waiting for yours.”

She laughed. There was a part of truth in Lucio’s words, probably when it came to how focused she was on her own interpretation. But it was only in part, and she’d been brooding on her situation long enough to be overwhelmed by fears and doubts. She wasn’t convinced. The change had been too sudden, and it had probably affected her only.

Genji couldn’t be crushing back on her.

Her mulling was interrupted when Genji walked back to them.

“Hana, Lucio, let me introduce you to Aya,” the sparrow’s familiar, cheerful voice chirped. “I asked if she’d like to join us for the day, if you don’t mind of course. Lucky for me, she said yes.”

Oh how Hana knew where Genji was getting to. Knew that he hadn’t mentioned any friends whatsoever. Knew that he was toying with the poor Aya, and her expression as she realised it wasn’t a date was priceless. The little twitch of her smile as she tried to keep a polite face, tried to hide her disappointment. Her gaze lasted a bit longer on D.va, probably measuring how much of a competition she represented. It was petty, but necessary, and Hana was more than used to the calculating gazes of Genji’s conquests. Sometimes, she’d pretend her and Lucio were a thing to get them off her back, or on the contrary, taunt them shamelessly by flirting openly with Genji. The urge for the latter was the strongest in that instant, despite Hana’s emotional confusion. She was a gamer, a challenger, and her passion for games was the hardest to fight.

Pulling out her tongue, she V signed over her eye and stared directly at Aya, taunting.

“As for this beautiful lady,” Genji continued, battling to keep a straight face at Hana’s antic as he pulled Aya closer. “She’s a foreign student going for a history degree, and very probably my heart. I guess you can just call her Mrs. Shimada already.”

Hana rolled her eyes. “Here I thought that title was reserved for me.”

“Should’ve stated your claim on my heart before, darling,” he replied with a smirk. “You took your time and got caught off guard.”

“I don’t need flirting lessons from you, honey,” she scoffed.

“Graciously offering my help only to be brushed off like a mere peasant, do you see that Aya dear?”

The young woman made a tight smile, as though she didn’t feel comfortable with the faked tension. Still, Genji was surefooted and Hana watched him lean in to murmur something in Aya’s ear. It seemed to lighten the mood from the way her features relaxed and she wrapped herself around his arm.

Hana knew that Genji would never badmouth her, that she was sure of. But the intimacy stung, and it took her inhuman efforts to keep a smile plastered all over her face as she watched the two together.

“So how about that new arcade game?” Lucio asked in an attempt to break the tension. “Maybe we should grab something to eat first?”

“Totally,” Genji acknowledged with a strong nod. “I’m starving.”

The DJ gallantly offered his arm to D.va as they walked towards the food court. Gladly, she took it and instinctively moved away from the couple, rather focusing on the arcade machines and the various players. There were younger gamers, boys hanging out together to beat each other’s scores, girls gathering around dance machines or air-hockey tables. Many couples were meeting up at the arcade too, as it called for proximity and adrenaline. Their own voices gradually died in the mayhem of bgm and sound effects as they got closer to the snack bar. There were a few free tables, wobbly, missing a few chairs, but the group settled at one regardless.

It was Lucio and Genji who offered to get the orders, and soon Hana was left alone with the college girl. Though it should’ve been uncomfortable, both girls barely gauged each other, one checking her phone, the other pulling out her portable console to resume her platform game.

Despite the buzz around them, the silence that weighed on them was particular. None could tell if it was rivalry or just plain disinterest that filled the air between them. Not even them. It was just there. An unqualifiable silence.

“Do you think I should pursue this with Genji?” Aya asked finally. She’d said that without looking up from her phone, nails swiftly tapping the tactile screen as she typed.

Hana played with the stylus caught between her teeth, eyes glued on the jumping character of her game. She felt her heart skip a beat at Aya’s question, making her wary of herself.

“What do you mean?” she asked nonchalantly.

“Well,” the college girl elaborated. “You two seem pretty close. I’m not looking for anything serious, but I also don’t want to get caught into any drama between you guys. I have better things to do than play third wheel. So I’m asking for your opinion, because I don’t want to be a thorn in your side.”

Hana blinked.

No, she was supposed to say. Genji is a famous playboy, so it’s kind of our game to flirt back and forth. It’s got nothing to do with any feelings between us! I’m not crushing on him or anything like that. I’m just teasing you. Just enjoy your time with him. If it’s not you, it’ll be another girl.

It sounded more like an inner ramble than a potentially coherent answer. There was no way D.va could say that out loud without sounding like she was desperately looking for an excuse. It looked meek even to her.

Focusing back on her game, she didn’t answer immediately, rather clearing the level until she spoke again.

“There’s no way you could be a thorn in my side since there’s nothing going on between Genji and I.”

“Is it?”

“I don’t see why there should be.”

“Maybe there is,” Aya retorted, flashing a glance towards Hana. “At least from the way I see it.”

The gamer girl pressed the last jump button before the checkpoint and let her character fall into the river. Only then did she look up at the other girl and smirked.

“Are you shipping us, by any chance? Because we do have this one fanclub…”

Aya rolled her eyes with a little laugh. “That’s ridiculous. But it is true that you’d make a nice couple. Maybe Genji’s right. You’re the problem.”

Hana raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“It’s not my role to nudge,” the girl answered with a contrite shrug, smiling.

The girl’s smile seemed genuine, which felt weird considering all the mean glances D.va had grown used to over the years. It made it difficult to be upset at this strange girl, and Hana didn’t like one bit of it. It put her off guard, brought down her sarcasm defenses and made them inadequate.

She was confused. She didn’t know what any of Lucio or Aya’s words truly meant. It felt as though they knew so much more than they wanted to let on, and it drove her crazy. They were evasive, puzzling, and she couldn’t figure out a reasonable reason to justify it. A reason her defenses would appreciate. She liked clear objectives, clear instructions.

Not half sentences she couldn’t allow herself to interpret.

She couldn’t afford a game over.

“You shouldn’t bother yourself with interpretations,” she said, though her voice sounded smaller than she would’ve liked as she looked back at her console. “If you’re not looking for anything serious, Genji is the right pick. You’ll both enjoy it.”

Aya couldn’t answer as the boys came back, putting down their trays as they resumed their festive conversation, roaring with laughter. Under normal circumstances, Hana would have joined, bullying them to get them to share the topic. Obviously, they’d tease her, Lucio would pull his signature “Why are you so angry” line as she’d feign being mad. It would probably end with her challenging them to the arcade games in exchange for their apologies, with Lucio breaking the highscore of the dance machine, and Genji fighting body and soul to beat D.va’s shooting game score.

But this time, she was silent, focused on her own little game, barely caring about the surrounding noise. She had too much to sort out and only the repetitive jumps of the character emptied her mind from the anarchy of her thoughts.

She felt upset and confused, and not where she needed to be in that instant.

For the first time in ages, D.va, the outgoing cheeky world renowned gamer, ached for silence and solitude.

“Oh no, my smoothie is already empty.”

“Thirsty much, babe?” asked a playful Genji.

“Very funny,” Aya answered, probably rolling her eyes in amusement.

“Well I do hear that pretty often so… I think I can safely highlight that as one of my many qualities.”

Aya laughed and Hana almost cringed when she felt Genji’s leg under the table as he moved closer to the college girl.

“I’ll go get you a drink,” he announced finally, voice dripping with cajolery.

He stood up, his chair creaking as he pushed it back but was interrupted by Aya’s sudden exclamation.

“Hold on,” she said. “I’ll just come with you.”

And she did, couple walking away, arm in arm as they murmured things in each other’s ears. It was in that instant that Hana made the mistake to look up and meet Genji’s gaze, looking back at her even as he had another girl with him, even as he walked in the opposite way and had no reason to be glancing in her direction.

It had been fast, lightning fast but it had been enough to tighten the knot in Hana’s chest. The knot she’d been carrying ever since Lucio had implied that there could be more than friendship towards her from Genji’s part. The knot that had grown unbearable as Aya implied that she was a problem, that she was a coward. Because none of them knew how much she valued Genji, and how devastated she would be if she were to lose it all.

She felt dizzy, nauseous almost, the sounds around her merging into the most disastrous of cacophonies. She needed to leave.

“Lucio, I think I’m gonna go,” she managed to say as she stood up.

“Are you sure? We haven’t even played yet,” her friend replied, worry starting to paint itself on his face.

“Yeah, I just don’t really feel like it today.”

She smiled at him, shrugging. She was becoming a great actress, even though she knew Lucio was smarter than that. It also meant he wouldn’t press because he knew.

“Okay,” he said. “Just stay safe, okay?”

“I promise, I’m a big girl.”

She hugged him before leaving. A tight hug, the kind that didn’t really need any words, any language. The kind to which he responded with the same strength, if not more. It was comfortable, comforting, familiar. She needed the warmth and the understanding of her best friend, the calm drum of his heart to soothe her and the rugged texture of his dreadlocks tickling familiarly her cheek.

“Don’t worry too much about this, Bunny Hop,” he murmured in her ear as she pressed her face in his shoulder. “Everything comes in its own time.”

She didn’t answer, nor nod. She simply stood up, smile not leaving her face until she turned around and left, not even as she V signed to Lucio to signal that everything was okay.

Nothing was okay.

The walk to the underground station felt surreal, but the cool air of the evening soothed her nerves and made her sight less blurry, though her heart showed no sign of calming down. She took a deep breath as she entered the station, hurriedly walking down the stairs as she pulled out her underground card from her phone case. She’d decided that a packed train would be better than walking through the wide avenues of the city and risking to get run over by a car. She would squeeze in there and give free reins to her thoughts as the stations passed one after the other, people came and went, tunnels started and ended.

The train arrived shortly after she sat down and she scurried inside, apologising as she tightly tucked herself away between two passengers, the lack of space making it useless to cling to any hanging strap. She sighed deeply, pulling her headphones over her ears, scrolling down her music player as she waited for the door to shut down.

She hadn’t found a proper song when someone slipped inside the metro right before the doors closed, disturbing the careful arrangement of the packed vehicle as he made his way to a specific area of the train. She hadn’t planned to look up and glare at the newcomer for lack of interest, but her eyes definitely widened when she recognised his voice.

“Hana.”

It took her approximatively all her self control not to look up at him. Especially when she recognised the orange hoodie and the woody perfume that stood out despite the mixed scents of sweat and dust, she recognised the concerned tone in his voice and she wanted to be far away from there.

She hoped he would think she was listening to music and didn’t hear him. Hoped he would give up.

But the latter was far-stretched.

“Hana, I know you can hear me,” he said, reaching for her phone where no song was being displayed.

Without thinking, she pulled away before he could touch the device, shoving it in her pockets as she lowered her head further.

Fuck, she thought.

This was going horribly.

The train stopped at the next station, the pre-recorded voice repeating emotionlessly the name of the stop as the machine halted abruptly. The jerk sent D.va forward and into Genji. Instinctively, he wrapped his arm around her waist, protecting her from the wave of passengers who hurriedly left the train by fear of colliding with the hasty crowd who tried to get in, and Hana felt almost deaf from the erratic scramble of her heart in her ears.

“Look at me, Hana,” Genji asked again. His voice seemed firm, but in the jolt of the train starting, she could have sworn she heard a slight shake at the end. Whether it had been caused by the movement of the vehicle or something completely different, it would’ve been hard for her to tell, even less bring herself to ask. But when she didn’t answer, she heard him again:

“Please.”

It was way more than she could take. And for that exact reason, she was all the more terrified to look into his eyes.

“I did something wrong, right?”

She glanced at him at that exact second, shaken by the train’s inconsistent trajectory and the unbalanced passengers who bumped into her. Those should’ve mattered, even more so than the chest of the boy in front of her, even more so than the gleam in his eyes as he looked at her. That gaze shouldn’t be tugging at her heartstrings the way it did. That look of pure worry shouldn’t be this intense and genuine.

“No, you didn’t,” she breathed out, throat clogged.

He sighed. “Then why do you look so sad whenever you look at me?”

“I’m not sad,” she mumbled, looking away.

The train stopped again. It was Genji who bumped into her this time, pushed by the incoming passengers until D.va felt the metal of the pole grip against her back. The heat was more intense in this part of the train, probably due to the fact they were far from the doors now and people were the most concentrated where they stood. She almost lost her balance in the tangle of legs below, but held onto the pole to keep herself standing as the train started again. She vaguely wondered how many stops there would be until she’d be able to leave.

When Genji spoke again, she realised he was too crushed against her to be able to look at her, his breath tickling her ear as he seemed to think of an answer, almost stumble as he searched for proper words. She was about to break the silence, narrowly missing the murmur that eventually escaped his lips. The sound was drowned in the screech of the railways, in the cough of a nearby commuter and the whine of a little child in the distance. She hadn’t been supposed to hear him, but she had. It had been crystal clear.

“Why do you make this so hard for me?”

Maybe Genji’s right. You’re the problem.

“Do I?” she asked, tightening her grip around the pole.

He inhaled, taking in the sweet perfume of her hair as a self-deprecating chuckle escaped his lips.

“Yeah,” he said. “You do.”

“Then why not cut me off, if I’m so problematic?”

The train quivered again as it stopped at another station. She quickly glanced over his shoulder to see that she would be able to get off in two more. She tightened her grip around the pole and Genji took advantage of the new wave of passengers to put enough space between them and look at her. She didn’t meet his gaze.

“What are you talking about?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted, increasingly fed up. “I just don’t know anything anymore. I’ve been struggling for weeks, trying to make sense of emotions that everyone around me seems to understand better than I do. No one wants to explain anything to me and it makes me feel like I’m being toyed with.”

He tilted his head, puzzled. “What emotions?”

She gestured frantically towards the both of them, using the little space she had and sighing all the while in frustration. She shouldn’t be getting this upset. “This… You, me, us.”

“Us?”

“And I just can’t sort anything out. All my attempts at fixing myself fall apart and I don’t know-”

“No, what about us?”

She looked at him then. He had tensed all of a sudden, his gaze intense, maybe expectant. It felt almost like he was hoping for something, hoping for a specific answer but she bit her lip, reluctant to deceive herself with unfounded interpretations.

“There is no us,” she asserted. “At least beyond our friendship.”

Hana would have been unable to describe the exact emotion that flashed in Genji’s eyes in that instant. Spontaneity would have wanted it to be disappointment, hurt, maybe sadness somewhere? Reason, however, couldn’t find any valid argument and she decided to overlook whatever misunderstanding there could be, preferring to blame her own treacherous mind rather than fool herself.

“Right,” he smiled, clearing his throat. “We’re just friends, of course! Wouldn’t want to retire from my playboy days so soon, eh.”

She raised an eyebrow, genuinely startled.

His eyes widened slightly before he looked away, the train’s motion briefly making him lose balance.

“I mean,” he spouted. “Should there be an us… I believe you’d deserve to be more than just another girl.”

If her heart hadn’t been loud enough before, Hana could have sworn she’d heard a gear or two pop out of their place as she struggled to keep herself from paling. No, her reaction was being ridiculous. He was doing exactly what she’d predicted he’d do if she ever confessed.

Remind her that she deserved more than a playboy, and that she didn’t belong with him. That he was nowhere near retirement and that he wouldn’t like her to waste her time on him.

The simple thought was enough to bum her a bit. It was something to anticipate a thing, another to take the impact. And she didn’t think she’d been ready for her pessimistic scenarios to turn out to be correct.

“Which further strengthens the idea that we’re not suited for each other as anything other than friends!” she announced with forced positivity.

She didn’t expect that Genji wouldn’t answer immediately, rather finding a sudden interest in the surrounding passengers he decided to contemplate. He looked back at her after what felt like ages and put on the widest grin he could.

“Definitely, you couldn’t have said it better,” he acknowledged, tensing a bit when the jolt of the train pushed him back into D.va. They were once again crushed against each other, but for the first time since they’d gotten into the train, Hana noticed the way her arms had instinctively wrapped themselves around his waist. She let go.

“So, how does this ‘us’ thing link to people knowing your ‘emotions’ more than you do and toying with you?” he asked after managing to position himself at a respectable distance.

“Oh well uh,” she stammered. “It’s just…”

Her voice trailed off for a lack of explanations. She nervously looked around.

“You know what? I have to go,” she mumbled as the train stopped again. It wasn’t her stop yet, but she needed to leave this place as soon as possible.

Hurriedly, she slipped under Genji’s arm and sneaked her way through the passengers, aiming for the door as the recorded voice repeated relentlessly the station name. It was more difficult than she’d assumed, the compressed bodies barely giving any space for her to leave, each passenger fighting to get in and off the train as quickly as possible.

She felt his hand on her wrist halfway through her escape.

“Hana.”

She tried to free herself from his grip, as the beep signaling that the doors would close soon resonated in the vehicle. But it was in vain.

She didn’t want that frustration building in her chest, or the growing panic that was blurring her sight. She wanted to leave and never have to confront Genji. This was a mess and she hated every second of it.

“Let me go,” she whined almost, still pulling her arm.

“Not until you’re okay!” Genji retorted and she knew he was shaking his head vehemently as he said so.

“Why would you even care?”

“Have I ever not cared?”

She bit her lip, unable to turn around and face him. She hated how right he was.

“Why shouldn’t I care, Hana? Give me one reason and I’ll do it. Right away. I’ll stop caring. Because I care way more than friends should and the fact that… No matter what I do, no matter what I try, I can’t get you out of my head… It’s driving me crazy.”

There was something in the way his voice cracked that made her turn around even as the train rattled again and weakened her balance. Grabbing the pole by the door, she looked at him and the hurt and regret caught in his eyes. There was that and it was although there was so much more than just his voice that had cracked, making her wonder why it was that his sentence just didn’t sound the way it should’ve. Wonder why it was that it made her heart skip a beat.

Maybe it’s our inability to fathom the entire picture that deceives us into thinking that everything is only what we’ve been, up until now, conscious of.

He briefly looked away, breathing out in irritation, fingers still around her wrist. Eventually, he closed the gap between them, pressing her against the plastic of the wall as he prudently cupped her face in his hands.

“Do you know how hard it is for me not to kiss you whenever I see you?” His voice was barely a murmur, lost between a sigh and a whisper. “Do you just have any idea of how hard it is for me not to kiss you right now and you’re asking why I would care?”

Her own consciousness seemed to slip away as she took in his words. She felt numb, but somehow still stood on her feet, as though her body had gone on auto-pilot while her own brain tripped. The sounds around her hadn’t vanished, contrary to what books and movies tended to suggest, nor had the heady smell of the underground or the flickering light of the wagon. But she was painfully aware of Genji’s presence and the weight of his gaze on her, dark and pained, albeit with a flicker of hope and nervousness.

She took a ragged breath, trying to make sense of the fluttering thoughts that invaded her mind. She had to say something, anything, but no words came to her as she only stared at the boy in front of her, his hands burning against her cheeks.

“You’re-” He looked away from her gaze, eyes running over her cheeks, her lips, her chin, as though they held the words he was so desperate to find. “You make it so hard for me to keep it to myself. I’m not brave. I’m not brave enough to risk losing you. I can stay your friend and banter with you back and forth if it means you’ll still call me to hang out. I don’t mind. But it’s so hard. And then you just- you start waving these signs that maybe you like me back, that maybe it’s not so wrong from me to be so wrapped. And I can’t trust myself, but I do, only for you to tell me there is no us and leave again.” He peered at her again and the grunt of the machine below their feet got louder. “Why?”

“I’m scared,” she finally whispered.

“What?”

“I’m scared of losing you.” She drummed nervously her fingers on the pole at her left, head throbbing, heart quaking. “I’m scared of the way my heart has started to run wild when you’re around, of the way I ache for your touch and the confusion and the feelings that build up in my throat whenever someone mentions your name. I’m scared of these feelings, because I don’t know how strong they are and if they’re worth me ruining our friendship over a no-tomorrow adventure. I hate myself for envying all these girls that strut about and end up in your bed, for wishing for what I abhor and what I mock. I don’t want to be them, and yet… It hurts so much not to know what to do.”

“Hana…”

His arms were around her before she could even comprehend what was happening, her face pressing tightly against his chest and the zipper of his hoodie. She felt his hands on her hair and his chin on her head, fingers soothingly playing with her brown locks. She could sense his heart pound against her face, hasty, and for the first time, she allowed herself to hug him back, her hands clinging to his vest like a lifeline as she inhaled his familiar scent.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled in his chest. “I’m being really lame and cheesy right now.”

“It’s okay.” His shoulders shook with the little chortle that escaped his lips and he pulled her closer. She heard his voice through his ribcage, as though there was only him to be heard in the train. “I don’t care. I love you.”

Again, her heart skipped a beat. Just like it had so many weeks ago, as he held her in his arms in a similar way. This time she smelled no booze and no sweat, only the soap of his clean clothes and the incense. She felt precious in his embrace, as though she would break or flutter away, and it felt strange because she’d grown up a soldier, trained by her ragged government. It felt strange, and at odds with her strong diva persona, but she liked the feeling of being protected.

It was supposed to be soothing, probably one of those sweet movie scenes with a ridiculous upbeat romantic music and a guitar in the background. Hollywood had definitely taught her a thing or two about snuggling and letting the credits roll, but right now, she was a disaster. A secret disaster. Her heart was scurrying through her chest, running around alarmingly, brain packing for Hawaii, throat begging to let out kettle noises Hana was desperately trying to stiffle.

There was very few words to express her current state of panic, and even less to describe the inhuman effort she was making at hiding it.

Because Genji Shimada had just said he loved her. Genuinely. And none of her half-baked scenarios had prepared her for the eventuality.

“People might start believing you if you say it so loud,” she scolded in a poor attempt to look nonchalant.

He slid a hand under her chin to make her look at him. “Would it include you if I do?”

Yes.

“What am I to you?” she asked carefully, drowning in the brown of his eyes as she urged herself to play hard to get.

“Much more than the girls you envy.”

“And why would I believe you?”

“I don’t know.”

He’d answered spontaneously, as though it was the most natural response to her question. It felt odd, and Hana realised she’d expected him to have a script readied. A series of smooth lines and compliments to every single one of her questions. She’d expected flowers and his regular Genji gear, but there was none of it and she felt dismayed. The train trembled again and jerked as it stopped, pressing Genji further against her as the usual crowd poured out. The placid voice repeated the name of the station. Her station.

The distance between their faces was negligible, and she only needed to tilt her head to feel his lips on hers. It could’ve looked like an accident. But her gaze was glued on his, on the warmth and tenderness and lit his dark pupils, and she couldn’t move. He was beautiful.

She needed to leave.

“Then why is it that my heart’s still running?”

She felt his mouth at the same time that she heard a sigh, something like defeat, escape him. She couldn’t tell if she’d kissed him or if he had, but as she brushed her lips against his, she tasted exhilaration and something that intoxicated her senses and her thoughts. He cupped her face in his hands and her own instinctively found the front of his shirt, pulling him closer as she tilted her head.

She heard the doors beep, then close, and the train resumed its chaotic journey, bumps and creaking sounds and heat surrounding them.

She’d missed her station.

But right now, as she tangled her fingers in Genji’s hair, it didn’t matter at all.

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