#they break my heart utterly

[arianeoftheglade]

And I rode alongside And I rode alongside you then And I rode alongside 'Til you lost me there in the open road 🎵

#ariane clairiere #haurchefant greystone #ariane x haurchefant #haurchefant x wol #ffxiv wol #wolchefant #they break my heart utterly #i'll never be over it #ffxiv #heavensward spoilers #ffxiv spoilers

[thetinygnome]

Ya know if my daughter could read my thoughts and I didn't want her to be exposed to the full range of resentment and grief I held for her mother and her powers, I too (foolishly, cruelly, selfishly), would keep a distance.

This ain't the cute spyxfamily version of a kid with telepathy. Imogen grew up seeing every negative emotion her father ever directed at her, regardless of how much he tried to hide it from her.

Was he a good father? No.

Was he a depressed man trying his best? Undoubtedly.

#relvin temult #imogen temult #c3e48 #c3 spoilers #critical role #actually breaking my heart #for the both of them #like of course he's going to be sad and resentful #and where any other parent could simply not reflect it in their actions #it doesn't fucking matter because imogen will see it anyway #mans was so utterly unequipped for the parenting situation he was in

[ecoamerica]

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[lucyvaleheart]

i need to be chained down

i need to struggle against my bonds, need to cry need to scream, need to feel so utterly helpless and vulnerable

i need it to hurt. I need my ass to be smacked so red that it it brings real tears to my eyes before we're even halfway through. i need the wood of the paddle to SNAP and splinter as it breaks against my body.

i need to be told the most disgusting, cruel, awful things about myself; i need to be degraded and made to feel so small and pathetic and worthless and stupid and i need to be crying on the floor, utterly limp in my bonds from it.

i want to be marked. i want to feel teeth, i want to feel claws, i want my skin to break from the force of them i want to feel the blade against me i want to feel the fear in my whole being as it goes further and further and further

i need to be owned, to be claimed, to be branded with a hot iron, to be caged up and collared. need that collar to shock me, need someone to own me, need someone to hold my remote and press the button until i can't breathe until im choking with sobs and crying on the floor for a second time

when i say i need to be broken

i need to be broken.

#original #.......i'm in a mood #a very very very desperate mood #a very masochist mood #i just. god i want to be utterly eviscerated right now #want to just be taken advantage of so badly #want to hurt. #want to REALLY hurt. #want to really realy really really hurt. #sigh #one day ill find someone willing to do this kinda shit to me #in the meantime ill just keep working on communication and stuff so that when i inevitavbly find them scared to indulge themselves #i can reassure them and make them feel safe and loved before and after #aftercare after this kind of a scene would be life-savingly vital for both sides #so much cuddling and loving and reassurance and care #fucking breaks my heart when i hear a domme doesn't get that especially a sadist #anyway #cmere and ill show you how to break me. if this appeals to you say hi. please. i promise i will be so wonderful for you. i promise #i will help and i will lvoe and care for you even after you break me like this

[roobylavender]

#spectre (2004) we love you #to be deleted #also do you know how much it breaks my heart this gorgeous art is from green lantern rebirth #that entire book is so pretty but the content. straight ass utterly rancid

[pierswife]

"Thank you for everything, Sir-" the former princess cut herself off as she smiled down at the knight who had been by her side since she had fled. "Thank you, Forde."

The knight of Renais reply was with a laugh as he looked at her fondly. "Anytime, Princess."

Okay anyway huge shout out to @camellias-and-coriander for making MandaForde canon real, which I mean it kinda is my endgame ship soooooo-- My god the lady and her knight aesthetic these two have is just so real and it makes me wanna just melt into a little puddle. They start out so rough and then grow to care about each other so much over time like *cries*

#like I got to watch him draw it today and my heart absolutely was melting when he told me the concept he had for this #and now my new canon for Amanda is that she goes from being a Crown Princess to marrying just some guy who becomes the Renais court painter #and listen I think he would just be so understanding of her grieving for Lyon it would hurt seeing her break down during the last battle #both cause damn that's the man she already gave her heart to and damn she just sounds so utterly broken and it hurts seeing her so upset #but the fact she cautiously gives him her heart to hold and trust him makes it all worth it #art by camellias-and-coriander #parental figure! #s/i: amanda (fe8) #forde f-150 #and uh here's the new ship name hehe #ship: accidentally in love

[afairerplace]

My impression of how strongly Taylor felt about Harry Styles is VASTLY different after hearing the vault tracks

#i wonder if some of that isn't production #ngl it DID throw me a bit that the vault tracks are obviously produced by jack and the originals obviously are not #but for whatever reason #the original album always gave me the impression of the image she cultivated during the era: #shiny cool confident ny girl about town with her girlfriends #knowing that harry isn't ever going to pan out but jumping in anyways for the fun and excitement while it lasts #hoping for more but (if you'll excuse me) shaking it off when things inevitably finally fall apart #but the vault tracks peel back her confident exterior more and show just how BADLY she hoped for more #calling her mom for comfort? #pretending not to notice he's texting other girls but being utterly crushed? #reading into his new hair and aching to talk to him about it? #in most of the original tracks she sands away a lot of these vulnerable details #like she doesn't want him or us to see just HOW badly and HOW specifically he hurt her #but listening to the vault tracks my reaction was oh shit he really did break her heart #God bless i always thought harry styles was Not It #(as a bf #i do enjoy his music quite a bit though purely for the vibes) #but boy this guy is NOT IT #taylor swift #1989 (taylor's version)

[m00ngbin]

i lied. i dont actually like sex. put your clothes back on. im going to explain to you how one weird little kid changed the lives of tons of people for the better and at the end of of the series everyone he's helped and changed comes back to help him and return the favor. Let me explain to you the parallels between each of their arcs with the last few episodes. Let me tell you about how his brother finally realizes that it was all him. Every part of that kid is him and they all need to learn to live with it and accept and love him and help him not repress himself because that's what caused the problem in the

first place. Let me rant about how his friend/one-sided rival uses what he said when they first met back to him. (about not using powers to hurt other people) Let me scream about how the friend's first fight with him and last fight are direct parallels. Let me scream about how he shows how much that boy has changed him by opting to protect civilians instead of himself. I'm going to tell you about how after the former terrorist he saved finally realizes that instead of sacrificing himself to save the city he should survive and be there for his son and try to make amends and continue to be better. Let me talk about how even though the people he works out with KNOW that really they're no match for him and they don't really know what's going on, they still try to help him anyways. Because they're friends. That's what friends do and they love him. They just want to support him in every way they can. Let me scream and cry about how his mentor, the man he's known the longest, the man he trusts the most in the world finally admits that he lied to him and he's been lying to him and he finally tells the truth and that's exactly what that boy needs. He needed the truth. It shocked him back to reality, and everyone he's talked to up until that point, INCLUDING HIMSELF, shows him that everyone loves him, and they all accept him, the only problem is that he's unable to accept himself. He's been refusing to forgive himself since he was a little kid for something he didn't even mean to do, and he's been repressing and hiding important parts of himself because he's afraid. And he doesn't need to be afraid because he has people that are there for him and they all love him. LET ME THROW THE BIGGEST FIT YOUVE EVER SEEN WHILE I EXPLAIN TO YOU JUST HOW IMPORTANT THAT TALK BETWEEN HIM AND THE PART OF HIMSELF HES BEEN TRYINF TO REPRESS IS AND HOW MUCH IT CHANGED HIM. HE FINALLY ACCEPTS HIMSELF FOR WHO HE IS AND HES FINALLY ABLE TO FORGIVE HIMSELF AND MOVE ON AND GROW

#can you tell that this show actually means the world to me #and let me just say that while i understand that she wouldn't have been able to do anything i wish Tome had been there #shes also super important to the story and i wish that she'd been there too #AND LET ME ALSO SO HOW UTTERLY UPSET I AM THAT SERIZAWA DIDNT SAY ANYTHING UNTIL PROBABLY AFTERWARDS #SERIZAWA WAS THE FIRST AND ONLY PERSON TO TRULY UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING SHIGEO HAD GONE THROUGH #HE WAS THE ONLY ONE TO KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THE MOGAMI INCIDENT #HE WAS THE ONLY ONE AND IT BREAKS MY HEART THAT THEY NEVER HAD A MOMENT #anyways i get why it didnt happen but i wish they had gotten to have a little moment together #anyways special shoutout to the seventh divison guys i didnt mention that were working at the store #sorry to sakurai and koyama i would have absolutely mentioned you too but my hand is getting tired and you werent there for very long #but i will say something now #i love how seriously they take protecting the store. even if they werent able to save it from destruction #it really goes to show how they took what reigen said to heart and tried as hard as possible to live normal average lives #they were willing to protect that store at the cost of their own safety just because they were so thankful for the chance to be normal #so sick over everyone in this show #sorry guys #had to get this out #AND I COULD WRITE MORE #but my hand is getting tired again

[glorious-spoon]

My Brother’s Keeper [9-1-1; Buck/Eddie, gen]

~1600 words; family angst, pre-relationship, emotional hurt/comfort

On AO3

He ends up at Eddie’s house with no real memory of how he got there. Sometime after leaving Maddie’s apartment, autopilot took over and turned the Jeep down the familiar darkened residential streets to the familiar little duplex with the sidewalk that Christopher always decorates with fantastical chalk art. Dinosaurs in rocket ships, this time. The warm glow from the front windows spreads across the lawn, and something in Buck settles at the sight of it. He still feels unsteady, but the tightness in his chest has loosened some.

Eddie has the door open by the time he gets the Jeep parked next to the curb. He leans against the doorframe, watching as Buck climbs out and circles to cross the lawn, and that, too, is steadying: Eddie in his sleep shorts and a loose shirt that Buck is nearly certain was stolen from his own closet at some point, tracking Buck’s approach with soft, thoughtful eyes.

“You okay?” he asks quietly once Buck is close enough.

A lump rises in Buck’s throat; he nods. When Eddie arches a skeptical brow at him, he manages to make the words come. “Yeah. I’m okay.”

Eddie’s other eyebrow comes up at that, and Buck can’t blame him; his voice sounds raw even to his own ears. But he’s not lying, or at least he doesn’t think he is. He pats the pocket of his jeans, where the envelope Maddie gave him is tucked away, then lets his hand drop.

“Okay,” Eddie says finally, gently, and moves aside to let him pass.

In the warm-lit kitchen, he pulls open the fridge and silently hands Buck a beer, then steers him toward the table and pushes him gently into a chair. Buck allows himself to be steered. It feels greedy in the way it always does, like he’s cheating the system by letting Eddie handle him softly, like he’s flipping the established order of things on its head, but he’s trying to be better about that lately. Letting himself want things. Letting people love him. Eddie, like this. And Maddie, earlier, when she set the CVS photo envelope on the breakfast bar at her apartment and told him that he didn’t have to look at it if he didn’t want to.

Eddie settles on the other side of the table with his own beer. He cocks his head at Buck, calmly expectant, and Buck heaves a deep sigh and pulls out the envelope, setting it on the table between them.

“Maddie, uh. My parents mailed her some stuff from her old room at home, and. There were some old disposable cameras in there, from when we were—from when she was a kid.”

Carefully, Eddie says, “I didn’t think your parents kept any of that stuff.”

“They didn’t.” Buck taps the envelope. “I don’t think—she said they were in a box of odds and ends that was under her bed. I guess they’re downsizing. Looking to sell the house and move into something smaller, I don’t know. They didn’t—” He shrugs. It’s not that Eddie will be shocked to learn that they didn’t hold onto any of the stuff he left behind when he moved out west, but he still doesn’t feel like saying it out loud. “Anyway, they mailed her the whole box, and she sent the film in to get it developed, and, um.”

He flips the envelope open and slides the stack of glossy photographs out. The top one is a grainy selfie of an eight-year-old Maddie Buckley grinning in front of a swing set, one skinny arm holding the camera away, her hand a pale blur at the edge of the frame. He looks up from it in time to see Eddie’s smile catch, wistful in exactly the way that Buck felt the first time he looked at it.

“These are from before we moved to Hershey,” he says, and flips to the next one. A close-up of a dollhouse, a little girl’s room decorated in paisley and pink. There are a few more blurred shots of the kind of things that could only catch an eight-year-old’s attention: a cloud that looks vaguely like a mermaid, a cluster of flowers in an overgrown median, a cranky-looking ginger cat. The next one is of his mother, standing at the sink in a kitchen he’s never seen; her hair is long and curly and she looks inconceivably young. Eddie makes a sound at that, but Buck flips it over without looking at him, and there’s the first of the pictures he was looking for.

A bright room, sunlight streaming in, the bank of monitors nearly hidden in the edge of the frame. A thin blond boy in Superman pajamas, sitting cross-legged on a generic hospital couch and beaming at the camera. The cannula tubing that trails over his cheeks and tucks away behind his ears doesn’t do much to obscure the resemblance that Buck knows is there.

“Oh,” Eddie says softly. Out of the corner of his eye, Buck sees him reach out; sees him pull back a moment later when the realization dawns. In a very careful tone of voice, he says, “That’s not you.”

Buck shakes his head. “No. Um. But this one is.”

He flips to the next picture. There’s the same blond boy, his head tilted down, an expression of soft, delighted wonder on his face. In the cradle of his folded legs is a swaddled infant, staring up at him as though fascinated.

The silence stretches out for a moment as Eddie looks at it. Buck reaches for his beer, rolls it between his palms, then finally drinks.

“I, um.” His voice is very rough. He takes another drink, but it doesn’t really help. “I think that’s the first baby picture of me that I’ve ever seen.”

Eddie’s breath comes out softly. He spins the photo toward him with careful fingers. “And that’s…?”

“Daniel, yeah. Maddie said, um.” He clears his throat. “Maddie said that they never told him I was a savior baby—didn’t want to get his hopes up, I don’t know.” The bitter thing that he doesn’t say: his parents have always been too comfortable with lying to their children. Maybe they were different back then; he doesn’t know. All he knows is that he’s not surprised. “She said he was so excited to be a big brother.”

There’s quiet in the wake of that: the careful quiet that Eddie has when he’s working out the right words for a situation. Buck doesn’t look at him. He looks at the picture instead, but even that hurts. That sharp-edged, lingering hurt, because ever since he knew Daniel existed he knew it as—context. As the reason their family was like that; the reason his parents could barely stand to look at him some days. The fundamental, profound failure that was Evan Buckley long before Buck existed.

Somehow, he never really grasped the idea that he once had a big brother who loved him.

“He looks like you,” Eddie says finally.

“Yeah.” Buck laughs raggedly. “Or, I guess more accurately, I look like him.”

He knew that, sort of. We live with the reminder staring us in the face every day. Maybe it would have been different if he’d been a girl, or at least if he hadn’t turned out to look exactly like the brother he was supposed to save. Maybe.

“Buck,” Eddie says, on a long sigh. Then, “Evan.”

He reaches his hand across the table, and Buck reaches across to grab it: warm, solid, holding steady. He folds inward, and Eddie cups the back of his head, leans in to pull him into an incredibly awkward hug, the table and the stack of photographs still wedged between them. Eddie’s warm hand lands on his nape, his thumb making circles in the short hair there.

Into the muffled dark of his own elbow, Buck says, “I don’t even know why I’m so—it’s been—I mean, I don’t even remember him.”

Daniel Phillip Buckley, April 3, 1985—May 23, 1993. Just barely eight years old; not quite a year as a big brother.

“Yeah,” Eddie says very gently. His thumb rubs up through the shorn hair at the back of Buck’s neck, then down again. It’s soothing. Buck would kind of like to stay here forever, even though the edge of the table is digging uncomfortably into his ribs. “But still.”

“But still,” Buck agrees, and lifts his head. Eddie’s face swims into view. The soft angles of his cheek and jaw, the deep brown of his eyes. He looks familiar, and safe, and beautiful in a way that Buck has been holding at arm’s length for—a long time now, honestly. With some reluctance, he lets go of Eddie’s hand and straightens the rest of the way up. “Sorry. I know it’s late, I don’t know why—”

“Yeah, we can skip this part,” Eddie says, with a wryness that still feels very gentle. “I’m glad you came here. You should stay tonight.”

Buck laughs, startled. “I don’t have to.”

“Obviously. But you should.”

“I don’t want to make you fold out the couch, you don’t have to—”

“Buck,” Eddie says. His fingers linger on the edge of the photograph: two little boys in a long-ago hospital room on the other side of the country. Then he sets it carefully on top of the stack and slides them back into the envelope. “Just stay.”

“Okay,” Buck says. He swallows twice, then looks at the hand Eddie still has resting on the table, and reaches out to slide their fingers together, feeling something settle in him when Eddie immediately grips him back. “Okay. I’ll stay.”

#9-1-1 #buddie #buddie fic #evan buckley #eddie diaz #daniel buckley #maddie buckley #my fic #taking a break from my many WIPs because that one thread utterly broke my heart

[mythosar]

idk how a john wick au would go exactly but i do know that axe and koska would be to bo what ares is to santino, or cassian is to gianna.

#〈 𝔸.𝕎. 〉 : his cringefail loser personality has bewitched me –– ooc. #it’s about the undying loyalty….. the willingness to sacrifice…. #the dark part of my brain: axe’s faith in bo shatters at some point and he breaks his own vow of protection #leaving her utterly alone when he takes koska with him. all three of their hearts broken. #me louder: IT’S ABOUT THE UNDYING LOYALTY AND WILLINGNESS TO SACRIFICE-

[spaceratprodigy]

🎶 Music WIP Whenever 🎶

Thank you for the tags @captastra @darkfire1177 @the-lastcall 💖💫

I don't have much for wips floating around rn BUT I do have something I was sketching around for funsies that could be fun to share

The way I get inspired by music can be a lil strange sometimes and I especially more often than not listen to songs that don't fit the vibe of what I'm working on at all 😭

Had a few songs come on while drawing last week that made me extra motivated to wanna work on Faith and Max Fallbrook/Scylla arcs again so I'll drop those

Last week I allowed ThemTM to be as unapologetically in love as they wanted and this week they're getting thrown back into their reconciliation stage!!! >:)

#if it's not hard rock or heavy metal it's always gonna be a tmg or matt song that gets me I s2g #going back to my roots like 2-3 years ago where I was exclusively drawing angst of Them #I need this man to fucking CRY I need him to feel utterly destroyed for breaking her heart in Fallbrook I need him to BEG for her #the one fallbrook quote I have saved that makes me feral #on scylla vision mom saying cap was finally a good influence on her son makes me feralll #on scylla cap still choosing the tell max she thinks he's a good man after everything that happened and the way he responds!! ferallllll!!! #thanks for always letting me be weird abt this old man #my art #faith and max #Spotify

[dykekeit]

I FORGOT THE WHOLE “NAMES ARE THE SHORTEST SPELLS IN THE WORLD” THING IN DREAM OF ETERNITY AND QINGMING’S MOST FREQUENT LINE IS “BOYA” AND THEN THE WHOLE “FANGYUE” THING. ARE YOU KIDDING ME

#is this movie a masterpiece? probably not #is it utterly sincere in everything it does and therefore it breaks my heart? #absolutely #weather blue speaks #the yin yang master #dream of eternity

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

ladies I watched See How They Run tonight and not only was it HILARIOUS and absolutely refreshing in its simplicity, it also used cinematography as a narrative framing device and I'm FASCINATED by the lighting

#girls we may have a new Film(TM) #like... there's no virtue signaling like some recent movies do there's no modernization #it just IS what it IS!!!!!!! and that is so incredibly refreshing #it's a mystery it's vaguely arthousey in the way most searchlight films are it's an exploration of narrative devices #and the fourth wall it's most of all a PERIOD PIECE and goshDANG is it good at Being all that #and re: the lighting: a lot of the settings are very dark — dark wood dark green walls dark streets — but they don't FEEL dark #like you can still see and the lighting is very bright and very warm and idk how to explain it but BALANCED #and stalker is one of my new favorite characters from anything ever #she's just so GOOD at heart and so determined and hopeful despite despite despite and she's got a solid set of morals #that she's not afraid to voice and stand by #I'm just- AUGHJDNXJSMSN i dont recall the last time i was so utterly simply PLEASED by a recent film #like even free guy (my beloved) didn't hit quite like this i mean yes free guy is Good but this is just. absolutely STELLAR #i might have more thoughts in the morning perhaps #i just love stories that deal directly with The Narrative as a character and the framing devices/4th wall breaks/narrative-based #jokes were just SO GOOD. nothing felt shoehorned in it all just IS. it is what it is and it's fantastic #Lu rambles

[raspberryzingaaa]

Nothing like the Bone Deep Sadness I get from going on Instagram and seeing really sad life decisions

#just. so utterly sad #breaks my heart right down to the core

[bylertruther]

yes i'm rereading one of the best will-centric fics of all time aka i didn't know there were wizards in california for the fiftieth time and crying like a baby at this part no i am not capable of being normal about it thank u !!!!!!!

#with all due respect which is none i will never in my LIFE accept 'i hate who i am' that is not MY will byers!!!!! #MY will byers fought and ran and hid and stayed alive in the upside down he never gave up hope he continued to fight each and every day of #his increasingly miserable life he REFUSED to be anyone else even when people bullied him for it even when his own father abused him for it #he was taken and ransacked and pillaged and he continued to build himself back up he REFUSED to break he REFUSED to fade away #william byers continues to love his art and love his 'nerdy' interests he continues to dress how he wants #he continues to be sensitive he continues to love what he loves he refuses to change!!!!! #he is strong!!!! he gets kidnapped and possessed by an eldritch entity and stands right back up!!!! #he doesn't turn over!!!! that's my william byers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #my william byers who is so brave that despite everything in the world telling him not to he follows his heart and confesses his love to his #best friend and tells him everything that he's always felt and masks it as his sister's because he thinks that would make it more #meaningful to him and he doesn't care if it breaks his own heart to tiny little bits he does it anyway because he loves mike so much #because he is who he is and he cannot change that and he will never change that!!!!!!! #THAT'S MY WILLIAM BYERS !!!!!! #also anyone else utterly heartbroken tht richie n will don't end up together in this one . BDHJFBDJH #their ships are so good but like ........ /richie/. literally and truly and actually will's soulmate in this fic lbr. #mike will have to grovel n beg n plead n give me five million dollars before i even THINK abt letting him near my boy 🙄🤨😤 #n the author said there would be more will/eddie in part two so like . i am heavy breathing i am shaking i am crying i am ASCENDING #mine

[nickmillerscaulk]

i left the comfort of my still-in-a-pandemic bubble last weekend to do a 48 hr whirlwind nyc trip and not to be dramatique but it was LIFE CHANGING MY DUDES

#not to turn this into a therapeutic dump but #my last trip to nyc was utterly heartbreaking #and my return was so gd triumphant and magical #i even revisited a past dinner spot and like... it didn't destroy me #this time around i got to enjoy my sister's company #and a proscuitto/parm pizza and cacio e pepe and a glass of riesling #ANYWAY #10/10 would (briefly) leave my house again #and also: #DON'T LET F*CKBOIS BREAK YOUR HEART OR RUIN ENTIRE CITIES FOR YOU OK??

[everybodyknows-everybodydies]

crying into my pillow at 3am over Molly Grue, lovely little beetle with her own kitchen beauty, and how she's always following something immortal: a dream, a unicorn, a magician

#Mouse talks! #reread Two Hearts and got horribly emotional all over again #she's so grounded and level and physical and real #and it would utterly destroy me but I NEED every last detail behind the story she's referencing when she's like #lol remember when a tree fell on me and you magicked me better that took like five minutes you can totally do healing magic so fast #and Schmendrick responds like. well actually you were delirious and screaming and it took way longer than five minutes but thanks. #TELL ME ABOUT THIS I WISH TO HAVE ANOTHER THING TO RIP MY HEART OUT TELL ME ABOUT SCHMENDRICK FREAKING OUT #OVER MOLLY APPARENTLY LITERALLY BREAKING HER *SPINE*???????????????? HELLO???????????? #was it the tree he got engaged to. was it jealous.