#they were debating which is more dangerous--shark or bear

[severalfandomslater]

The show basically

#for context #they were debating which is more dangerous--shark or bear #i love these idiots #bfu #buzzfeed unsolved #shane madej #ryan boogara #shaniac #boogara #buzzfeed ryan #buzzfeed shane

[kewltie]

omfgggg pregnant!deku. imagine where no. 1 hero is not only an omega but is pregnant and it's still early in his first trimester so he's running around kicking ass but IT'S DEKU so ppl frets and worry over his safety that even villains r like uh i dont wanna mess w/ that. deku is like ridiculously popular & well like even among criminal bc he believes in 2nd chances & rehab of the criminals/villains & fight for disenfranchised youths who fell on the wrong side of the track. so yea, they fight against him but they're also kinda soft for him!!!

so when they found out their fav hero is pregnant & still patrolling there's like some super-secret nonverbal agree among them that they won't stop doing what they are doing but like,,,, nobody fucking touch deku ok or you'll deader than dead. which is ALL KIND OF HILARIOUS bc deku coming to a bank robbery & the criminals doesnt stop their crime but when they fight him, they're like super careful w/ him making sure he doesn't get knock back, fall, or hurt himself too much.

when deku finally captured them and as they're about to taken away, they happily congratulated him on his pregnancy & ask if he'd thought of names yet & one of them is like, "oh, when my husband was pregnant eating X & Y really help with the nausea." and izuku is like,,, thanks???

there's like so many ppl invested in deku's pregnancy that it bizarre bc he's not the first or the last omega to ever be pregnant but he's deku, prohero, no.1 rank, and symbol of hope. all that means is there's a hyper fixation on everything about him esp now that he's pregnant. talk shows, news channel, & celeb gossip show are all talking about it one way or another. whether he's should take an early leave of work or not bc of the danger of his job, the baby's sex, his pregnancy craving, bump watch (I KNOW), & even a countdown to his due date.

the entire country is in a baby fever just bc of deku. everybody talk obsessively about it & even if you find that one person who does not care they def know someone who does. all this happen while deku just go about his day like all of Japan isnt watching his every move lol. the strangest thing about deku's pregnancy is that there's no sign of the other parent?? deku isnt even dating anyone. he never mention any alpha AT ALL, only declaring that he plans to raise his baby all by himself as a single parent which blew their fucking mind bc wtfffff.

look, deku is the most famous omega around, sitting high atop of the world as the no. 1 hero & is adore by the mass--he's greatest omega of his generation some would say so yea there's lot of expectation & hope place on him but deku is deku & he does what he wants. ppl speculate that maybe he's pregnant bc he had a one night stand and this was accident, maybe he has been in a secret relationship all this time, maybe this baby was from a spurned lover or WORST yet a produce of rape... LIKE there's so many rumor swirling around but the answer is actually v v v simple. deku has always wanted a child and since he's nearing 30 right now, he thought it's hightime he has one and the other father? JUST A DONOR. it's nothing serious or complicated as ppl imagine to be.

deku wants a kid and now he has one!! but ppl just can't comprehend how it could be that simple when the most notoble omega in all of japan decide he wants a kid W/O having a mate and he's going to raise this baby all by himself and nope he's not even going to quit his job at ALL to have a family. deku is just--blowing their mind lol

the world doesn't so much get over it as they just kinda get dragged along bc deku does not give a single fuck wut other think and proceed to be immersed in his pregnancy and try to survive the next 6 months while everyone waited on bated breath to see what deku does next. the only thing that stick is the constant rumor mill of who is the donor of deku's baby. they assume that deku wouldn't just pick a stranger bc he's sentimental like that so speculations run amok about every alpha that is closely associate with deku.

there are public polls, betting rings w/ billions on the line, televised debates, internet flame wars, and ACTUAL ARGUMENTS B/T FAMILY/FRIENDS/COWORKERS on who the fuck is deku's donor! even more than deku's baby, they're fucking obsessed on finding out who is the actual donor. the thing is it's not THAT big of a secret. all of class A are in the loop, his mom know (ofc), and even his agency but they all managed to keep it a secret bc deku's privacy is the utmost important & beside the other father would literally MURDER them if it ever get expose.

this is how it went: bullied by his pr team, deku went on a variety show where they have to babysit kids & put through various childbearing challenge while cameras record them for entertainment purpose. It's there when deku realized "ah, I WANT THIS. I WANT THIS V BADLY." deku is climbing close to his 30 now, he's well established presence in the hero world, and his life is pretty stable so it's high time he have his own little family but the thing is babies are two ppl business. they don't just come from thin air so deku did the next best thing.

katsuki would like to say he didn't see this coming the same way you would not expect to be attack by a shark on land, but in this case deku is that fucking shark & katsuki is the idiot that get completley blindsided by him when deku cornered him one day and asked for his sperm.

ok, bakudeku aint dating. they have deep & complicated history that is not only confusing o everybody else but also confusing to them. 'friend' would be to light of a word but anything else is left undefined bc how do you explain more than 2 decades of w/e they are to each other. katsuki doesn't want to talk about the amount of time he'd used image of deku to get off while in rut just so he can survive through it, while the next few days trying to resist punching deku in the face bc he act like a sacrificial idiot who got a cross he wants to bear.

it's not 100% healthy his therapist unhelpfully pointed out but the core of all his volatile feelings have always been named deku & katsuki doesn't know how to compartmentalize it properly bc katsuki may have squashed to something small & insignificant but it's heavy & permanent. so when deku laid his fucked up request at katsuki's feet, he broke the table they were using and nearly walked out if deku didn't catch him by the arm in time.

"kacchan, pls here me out first," deku begged of him, his sweet permeating the air; he's NOT PLAYING FAIR AT ALL. whoever said alphas are the dominate sex in the world have never met an omega, a determine goal focus omega with babies on the brain like deku.

"kacchan, recently i realized that im only getting older so i want a child when i still can," deku explained. "so won't you help me? i know settling down right now is the farthest thing from your mind, but im not asking you anything like that," he continued as katsuki quietly fumed in the background. "i just want your help in making this selfish wish of mine come true. you're among my top choices, kacchan."

Katsuki jerked up. "wait, you mean to say there's a fucking list of alphas you plan to extort their sperm from?" he seethed, feeling like deku had took a goddamn knife to his pride and butcher it completely. "how many other ppl have you asked before you even came to me?!"

"im not extorting anything from anyone." Deku frowned. "and, well, you always lectured me about diving head first w/o any backup plans," he pointed out, "so i made sure to leave several options open just in case the first one fell through. see? i did thought this one thru."

katsuki nearly broke another piece of furniture at the thought of deku asking someone else to father his child as though he was just another face in a long list of ppl deku could use. "What did every alpha on ur shitty list rejected u already so now have to come to me for help?"

deku, who was no.1 for a reason, narrowed his eyes and the air crackled around them. "kacchan, this is extremely important to me so i wouldnt just chose anyone. i only know a handful of alphas i can trust and someone im happy to share the other half of my child with. you're the 1st person that came to my mind when i thought about a child growing inside of me," he said, wrapping his arm around his flat tummy. "despite our many differences you're the one i admire the most. your strength & ambition, grounded by your strong drive & work ethics. the fact that you got where you are w/ your own hands & wits to guide you, i think you're just amazing. so how could i not want those kind of qualities for my own child," deku explained. "im sure a child born from half of your genes you will shine just brightly as you do."

katsuki felt so taken back that found his tongue heavy and words were escaping him. on one hand he felt a rush of pride and a strange sensation of happiness that deku had specifically chosen him out of his potential candidates bc of the greatness he had seem in katsuki but he'd also narrowed katsuki out not bc of some sentimental bullshit or lingering feelings but he thought of providing his future child with the best gene pool as possible so his child can flourish. it's a damn ego busting for katsuki but deku was clearly a man on a mission.

katsuki hesitated and thought what it would mean to have a child out there who carry a lil part of him in them; it's unnerving and humbling at the same time. he never thought of it himself but deku had dream of this, wanted this so badly enough to beg katsuki for help.

"alright," he said finally, not knowing exactly what compelled him to agree, but the look of utter happiness spreading across deku's face as he can barely contain his joy. a single word from him had caused deku's word to shift and rearranged itself to make room for another life.

and that's how katsuki got con into helping izuku make a baby lol. but, really katsuki was the one who agreed to it out of his own will bc he's an idiot & also terribly whipped; omegas are the ones ppl should be frighten of bc once they make up their mind it's hard to move them. they're an unstoppable force, something to be reckon w/ esp when that omega is the no.1 hero who fought his way to the top of the rankings and maintain that status quo for many years despite how many times katsuki tried to topple him from that perch LOL.

katsuki already lost the war before he'd even put a foot down on battlefront the moment deku'd opened his mouth & demanded his sperm AND HE KNEW IT TOO. so that was how katsuki found himself preparing to empty his balls in front of a two-way mirror in a mating clinic bc of deku. omegas, esp males, are the most fertile when they're in heat & when an alpha go in a rut, but the both of them have this arrangment that's more of a duty than any feelings involve bc they cant risk getting mix up in the hormones. this is for deku & his future child!!! so the clinic had prepared a large room w/ two way dividing mirrors& open air vents circulating b/t the two rooms so they can breathe in each other scene where deku can have his heat on one side and katsuki can watch BUT NOT TOUCH and get his rut on so he can produce sperm.

it's uh, not supposed to be v sexy since it's all clinical & shit but bakudeku being bakudeku they nearly tear the room apart to get to each other in heat/rut madnes. deku had blushed earlier as he asked to be bind with quirk restrictions cuff just in case he go crazy which HE DID. at first the nurses there was more worry about katsuki going crazy and out of control bc he has been known to fall pretty high on the alpha aggression and they fear it would be katsuki who would be dangerous; BUT NOPE it's deku all all along who almost broke the REINFORCED MIRROR just so he can get to katsuki!!!! DEKU WHO PPL SOMETIMES FORGET IS LIKE THE NO. 1 HERO FOR A REASON. soft and sweet deku who single handedly can fuck you up with just his fingers if he want to. he's an omega on a mission and he wants that knot up his ass AND HE WANTS IT NOW.

the nurses & docs have to use everything in their toolkit to pull bakudeku apart. when it's all said and done, katsuki embarrassingly produce buckets of cum enough to last deku a looooooong long time if the first one didn't take lol while deku couldn't look at katsuki in the eyes. they are both horridly embarrass about their 'not mating' and their action toward each other there even though they never actually touch each other through out the whole heat/rut procedure. despite the fact that they DIDN'T HAVE ANY SEX, it was still the hottest exp for both.

katsuki never seen more more feral and fierce omega who nearly broke the entire room just to get to him, in that moment if katsuki wasn't in love already he would have been half way there and izuku didn't expect KATSUKI AT ALL. the way he had handle izuku was completely diff. in izuku's heat fever, katsuki was the lone anchor who'd provided him grounding. he tried to calm deku down from his ramp up hormones even though he was as clearly affected as deku. forceful but not unforgiving, commanding not unyielding, firm but gentle.

it was electric.

it was as though izuku was a wild animal unleashed and katsuki managed to tamed him and he never had even had to raise a single finger to do it. it was all in his words that cut through izuku's hazy feverish wants and desires. the kind of alpha that made deku's knees weak.

after that, they have wordless mutual agreement to never talk about it. deku got the sperms he wanted and katsuki had finally fullfiedd his obligation and isn't responsible for deku or his future child. HE'S DONE. they dont have anything to do w/ each other anymore. RIGHT??? ha.

it's funny bc izuku had his hope on a child but didn't think it would take so soon! he'd thought he would fail a few times first before he get really lucky w/ conception bc of his age now that he's older, this 'psuedo mating' can't replace real mating, & biology is fucking weird. even the fertility doc couldn't promise this procedure to insert bkg's sperm in him when he's still got in a heat fever will work 100% and if they fail, they have to wait for another HEAT to come before it could work. which mean months of waiting in b/t so izuku is desperate. BUT it took one try. THAT'S ALL IT TOOK as izuku anxiously waited for the news in next couple of weeks. he took at home pregnacy tests and when hall 3 results were positive he'd cried and called his mom but even then he didn't tell anyone bc he was so scare it just was a fluke.

he'd kept this secret until he finally got the visit to his doc and could get the firm confirmation he needed! when the doc revealed that he was indeed pregnant, izuku fell to his knees in relief bc finally, FINALLY, his dream of having a baby had came true. he's a father now!!

the doc had warned that the first trimester would be rough on him bc of his age and miscarriage is more likely for him than most male omega. maybe he should consider taking an early pregnacy leave bc of the danger his job poses to him & the unborn baby. deku had agonized over it. ultimately, he decided to continue w/ his hero work but won't take on as much stuff as before. he plans to be more careful & attentive to his safety, and defer his more dangerous work to his colleagues instead. all his friends and coworkers go out of their way to help him w/ this

izuku got an entire community of heroes WHO DO THEIR BEST TO ENSURE HIS PREGNACY GO SMOOTHLY bc look izuku may be doing this alone but HE'S NOT ACTUALLY ALONE bc he got his friends, colleagues, and mom to support him through this bc they know how much this means to him!!

katsuki was one of the last to find out but only bc deku plan to see him in person to tell him bc katsuki HAD GIVEN HIM ONE OF THE BEST GIFTS (beside OFA) and he wanted to thank katsuki in person but class A are a bunch of gossip mongers so he found out through their groupchat. it started as a joke about katsuki & his super seed bc what a fucking stud bakugou katsuki to have ONE TRY and is able to knocked izuku up so quickly lmao. w/e the fuck katsuki is doing or eating, apparently it works wonder for him bc one of his sperm luck out & hit jackpot. his so called friends cant stop ribbing into him for knocking up deku so quickly bc they know from deku's worry that it wasn't going to be an easy conception but IT'S BAKUGOU KATSKUKI, outdoing himself once more bc he never does anything by half, not even his own sperm lol.

izuku met up with katsuki right outside his agency bc he knew wassup and how to corner katsuki effectively by trapping him when he just high off his patrol when he least expect an ambush esp when he was too busy avoiding izuku's attempts to reach him bc of COMPLICATED FEELS.

it's not cowardice that kept katsuki away, but izuku was the source of all his confusing feelings already & now w/ the news that he's carrying katsuki's child now it'd gotten worst. izuku, though, was nothing if not persistent. he zeroed in katsuki right away w/ purposeful steps.

"kacchan, i'm so glad to meet you here," izuku says as though he hadn't coordinate this w/ katsuki's coworkers, who are all SOFT for izuku anyway lmao, to get katsuki alone JUST LIKE THIS. katsuki knew he was caught bc every one his friends & colleagues are FUCKING TRAITORS.

"what," he snapped, clenching the hands at his side as he tried to keep his gaze from izuku's still very flat tummy. it's weird to think a life was quickly taking shape there when it's not like izuku looked any diff but he smiling more brightly & warmth coming from his person. was this what they call the pregnancy glow? bc deku was fucking blinding that katsuki wanted to shove his hand to deku's face to block it out.

"what you want," he demanded again even tho they both know why deku was here.

unperturbed, deku smiled. "im pregnant now so thank you. you'd helped fulfilled one of my biggest dreams & im ever so grateful for it!" he continued, rocking happily back & forth on his heels but the words barely registered katsuki kept staring at the way deku's body swing out & he opened his mouth before he could think better of it.

"should you be even moving liek that ?" he asked BC SINCE FINDING OUT IZUKU IS PREGNANT HE LOST HIS MIND. as soon as the words left his mouth he knew he was a dead man walking.

izuku leveled him a glare so fierce that he actually took a step back w/ chills running up his back. "kacchan i may be pregnant but im not an invalid," izuku said with the sharp edge of a smile and thinly veiled steel in his voice. the scariest part was that he hadn't drop a single smile but the ominous threas was there. "do you want me to show you how much of not invalid i am?"

katsuki scowled, face pinching at the thought whether this was just the usual deku's bs or this was deku's bs + the pregnancy hormones that get him so rile up. either way, katsuki no matter how much of an ass he was, he wasn't going to punch a pregnant omega to prove a point.

"fine, that was dumb sorry," he said, scratching the back of his ear in annoyance. "so was that all you wanted to say?"

deku's eyes crinkle in amusement as katsuki's scowl deepens. "yea, i just wanted you to hear the news from me personally and expressed my thanks."

"i'll take good care of them," he said softly, a stray hand caressing his stomach carefully. "I promise i'll be good to them so you dont have to worry."

katsuki paused and then, "I know," he said bc he does. deku was going to be a good parent w/o a doubt. That is a truth.

deku's eyes light up at katsuki's words and there was a hint of wetness in them that katsuki had the unnerving fear that he was going to cry right here and katsuki's entire agency going to charge out & murder him for making a pregnant omega, THE PREGNANT OMEGA DEKU cry in public.

"t-thank you," he sniffs, but THANKFULLY NO ACTUAL CRYING INVOLE, "it makes me so happy to hear that you in believe me. i won't fail you, i swear!" he said it like he was making a vow for world peace or some shit bc of how serious it had sounded but this was important to him.

"yea, okay," katsuki said, looking away bc got this entire conversation was agonizing bc here he was talking to the person, but not JUST ANY RANDOM PERSON, who is carrying a baby w/ half of katsuki's dna & they're not fucking each other. like,,, that's fucking weird okay.

"that's all i wanted to say," deku told him, fully aware how uncomfortable this talk was making him, "so I won't bother you anymore." he gave one last smile and turned to go but KATSUKI WHO SHOULD HAVE LET IT END THERE found himself opening his mouth and grabbing deku by the arm.

it was careful, a firm but gentle hand placed his forearm like deku was glass that stopped him for a moment. "if--if," katsuki said, swallowing around a stone in his throat, "you find yourself needing anything, call me ok? ANYTHING i dont care just call me and i'll be there."

a slow but the brightest fucking smile he had ever seen bloom on deku's flushed face. "ok, i'll let you know," he replied, bc this was KATSUKI PUTING HIMSELF OUT THERE AND WANTING TO GET INVOLVE IN IZUKU'S PREGNACY even tho deku had given him a clean break from it. HE CHOSE THIS.

katsuki doesn't know what he was thinking then but the words slipped passed his guard before he can stop it & now he fucking doomed himself, doom himself to 3am late night calls of deku crying in hysteric at his home bc he ran out of some rare hard to find fruit bc CRAVINGS. so now katsuki had to dragged himself all the way across town to hunt for this shit. the morning news of that day was hero ground zero harrassing shopkeeper in the FUCKING ASS'S OCLOCK FOR SOME FRUIT AND DEMANDING IT NOW FOR W/E REASON, WHILE LOOKING SO FURIOUS & UNHINGED.

look, it's not like deku doesn't have an entire network of ppl to reach out to if he ever needed anything bc they would even laid down their life for him but even when he's cursing a storm trying to get deku's his midnight craving, he's so relief it's him that deku called first. besides, he firmly knew wut he had signed up for the moment he had opened his mouth. offering is help in the pregnancy process was him choosing to get involve and commit to deku & his (god fucking damn shit, he can't think of it as *theirs* bc that's too dangerous) baby. and bc this is bakugou katsuki and he never does any by halves so even though he may have been reluctant at first but now that he's firmly on board he's going in full throttle w/ no break in sight. katsuki dumps all his $$ on pregnacy & prenatal care books.

he read papers, argued on pregnancy forum, & even harassed his parents on it just so he can come at this like a fucking boss bc while he has full faith in deku to put the safety of the fetus first but also HE DOESN'T FUCKING TRUST DEKU TO PUT HIMSELF FIRST which is just as import. deku has the self-preservation  of a damn child & he can't expect a *child* to take care of himself so KATSUKI OBVIOUSLY GOT TO DO IT FOR HIM. so he make diet plans, prepare prep meals for deku ahead of them, annoyed deku's coworkers to watch out for him lest he does something stupid. he make it his firm mission that this pregnancy will go smoothly as possible so even when he's running errands for deku, getting his weird ass food craving, and taking deku to visit his ob-gyn, sitting in the waiting room anxiously for any news in case SOMETHING GO WRONG.

He even drives himself crazy learning about the things a pregnant person can't do/is at risk of doing & he doesn't know how anyone can fucking take this for 10 months bc it's like walking on a precarious tight rope. it's scary & humbling and he just want deku & the baby to be ok.

there are still crimes and villains to wrangle, and the world keeps on spinning; nothing really change all that much now that deku's pregnant but katsuki finds himself personally accolating his precious time and energy toward deku & the baby. he became one of those *PEOPLE*, ugh. he never got it even when his friends had popped out spawns of their own. he wasn't going to get dragged down by biology & all that general bullshit about settling down. he's at the top of his game & prize to take over deku's position as no.1. he got no time for playing family.

yet here he is standing in the middle of a fucking baby store, staring down a damn baby crib and having a melt down. who the fuck knew that baby cribs come in so many fucking versions and THERE ARE JUST TOO MANY OF THEM. he thought he had come prepare but no this was toughs shit. he only saw this store in passing while on a patrol & thought he should drop by but the next thing he knew he got trapped here for three fucking hours just looking at baby cribs. he already got several people walking passed him, eyeing him weirdly as he internally freak out.

there are ridiculous amount of info floating on the internet about crib buying guide like the bars could only be certain inches apart, non-toxic paints, diff kind of mattress, safe headboards, etc etc. all of that to ensure the baby doesn't fucking DIE bc babies are like FRAGILE.

he calls deku & as soon as he picks up, the first thing katsuki says is, "last year, there were 1,842 babies death due to sudden infant death syndrome."

a long pointed pause, and then, "oh geez," deku answers, "where are you? I'll be right there, okay? don't go anywhere!"

#bakudeku #not!fic #sperm donor au

[shadeofazmeinya]

Close Encounter (1/1)

Summary: Jeremy isn’t sure which god he has managed to piss off, but clearly it must be a powerful one to have a day with all the worst luck of his life combined into one.

A/N: Written for the @rtwritingcommunity Secret Sunshine!! Hope you guys enjoy a very short and sweet mermaid au! Reblogs and Comments greatly appreciated!!!

1.7k+ words

AO3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20129926

Jeremy isn’t sure which god he has managed to piss off, but clearly it must be a powerful one to have a day with all the worst luck of his life combined into one.

He sits back in the tiny boat he’s managed to become stranded in, a worthless ripped fishing net hanging out on the end, one oar of what is meant to be a pair laying against his leg. The boat rocks with his movements and Jeremy closes his eyes and covers his face as he waits for the nausea to pass. His clothing is damp, sticking to him and sending a shiver down his spine, but he’s hoping the universe will be a little forgiving with this sun shining down on him. Keep the worst of the chill off during the heat of the day. It won’t get rid of the fishy, salty smell, but it’ll be a fucking great start.

The day started like any normal day. Just another day going out to fish, trying to catch enough to sell and maybe eat by the time the sun went down. But nature had another course set for him when the dark clouds rolled through. He realizes too late he hadn’t tried to check for signs of storms and had no time to get back to shore. He could do nothing but bear down and take it, keep desperately afloat. Now he’s left stranded in his boat, not really sure how far from shore he’s gone with his fish net ruined along with any potential profits.

And now. And fucking now, he’s hallucinating. So doing well.

There was a face. He saw it. Or imagined it? He really can’t fucking tell. But there was something poking out of the water a few feet out from him. Something with eyes. Curious, large, bright eyes. With long blonde and pink hair that flowed out around it until it dived back under the water. If Jeremy were fucking sane right now, he’d say it was a human. But no other humans could possibly be around this far into the ocean. Or have been under the water this long without needing to take a breath.

He watches the area where it had been. He looks for a disturbance but there are no signs beyond the gentle waves rocking the boat, ones he knows he should get to work fighting to get back to shore. But he still stares intently, waiting for whatever. While still greatly debating his sanity.

That’s when he hears a splash, coming from behind. He jumps a mile, the noise magnified in the open, vacant space. “Who’s there?” Jeremy bursts out, seeing small waves expanding out, where something once was but has gone under the surface again. Jeremy picks up the paddle, holding it out as if to hit anything that got near. “I swear if this is a fucking shark or something, I’m going to-“

Splatter. Then a thud and the boat rocks, twisting Jeremy’s stomach as he whips around again. The other oar is flopped in front of him. Soaked but intact. A fucking savior that has managed to jump into his fucking boat from the ether. Jeremy is slack jawed as he reaches for it, fingers tracing the smooth wood. So this part isn’t a hallucination. You can’t touch hallucinations, right?

As he stares, baffled, he hears some sort of noise at his side. A gurgle, maybe a giggle. Jeremy clutches both oars to him now as he whips around to find a face staring back at him. Bright, sharp eyes curled up with a smile. Long, blonde hair pooled around, tipped pink on the ends that haloed out over shoulders that just hung out of the water. It continues to make a noise as it stares right at Jeremy.

Jeremy isn’t sure if he screamed. But his throat feels raw as he scrambles away, nearly flipping his lifeboat for the third time of the night. “What the fuck? Who are you?!”

The person -creature? there’s something its eyes just doesn’t seem… right, skin tinted strange- blinks back. It peaks out more above the water, floating as if standing at the beach and not resting in the middle of the fucking ocean. It still grins and Jeremy can see better how sharp the teeth on it are. “Who are you?” it squeaks back, voice high and light.

Jeremy narrows his eyes, shifting his grip on the oar, but keeping it in front of him. Keeping the creature at bay. “I asked you first,” he retorts. “Who -or what- are you?”

“What are you?” the thing chirps back, blinking.

Jeremy raises an eyebrow, looking curiously at its responses. “A human. Unlike you. At least you don’t fucking seem human. Or real.”

“Real,” the creature repeats, then shifts up and down, mouth stretching across its face. It’s head falls back, chirping. It takes a moment before he registers that it’s laughing.

Jeremy blinks, jaw opening and closing. “Okay… Do you have a name or something?”

“Name,” it chirps, shifting closer in the water, head tilting curiously.

Jeremy swallows, shifting back in his boat and adjusting his grip on his oar. “Are you asking for my name? I asked for yours!” The creature pauses its swim, not getting any closer, eying him carefully but doesn’t say another word. It just stares. Smiling. “Uhh… My name is Jeremy.”

“Jerrr… Emy,” the creature hums, testing the word. “Jerem… Jeremy.”

“Yeah, Jeremy,” he says. “Can you… only repeat words or something? Can you even understand me?”

The creature laughs again, moving closer, pulling out more of the water. Her hair seems to flow around her shoulders and Jeremy swears it shifts in the light, the pink end almost a red. Like fire sitting on top the foam and sea. But as she comes closer –at least Jeremy assumes a she with the length of her hair, the softness of her lips and cheeks- she doesn’t seem dangerous. Curious. Enticing. And Jeremy gets lost for a moment, staring back.

Then a new splash. Nearby.

Jeremy whirls to face the sound. There’s a flash, a twinkle from the sunlight catching what Jeremy at first thought was a fish jumping somehow from the water. But the scales were large, stretched and elongated in a way he hasn’t seen on any fish near here. It’s there for but a moment before diving underneath. Jeremy swallows, readjusting his grip on his makeshift weapon.

His other friend at his side perks up at it, seeing her out of the corner of his eyes get a gentle smile pulling on her face. There’s some sort of chirping coming out of her, squeaking at the other figure. Jeremy can’t tell if its talking or just making noises. But before he can ask, she’s gone, ducking into the waves as well. Leaving Jeremy alone.

“Wait!” Jeremy calls out, grabbing the side of the boat and bends over the water. “Can you at least tell me where the shore is? Do you know? Help me!”

He’s met with his broken reflection in the waves, indifferent to his plight. Jeremy sighs, sulking back into his boat. He glances in the sky, trying to figure out where the sun is sitting, where he’s supposed to go from there. It sets in the west, right? Fuck, which way did he sail out? Was it north? South? He just started moving out that morning, planning to stay in sight of land. Like he normally does.

Jeremy lets himself feel hopeless for only a moment before pulling himself together. He has to get back to land somehow. So going off his best memory of where the sun was when he went out, and with both oars in hand, he starts making his way across the water, pushing the little boat as best he can.

He doesn’t make it far before there’s a bump, causing Jeremy to startle as he felt it from below the boat. The boat rocks from whatever hit it, his grip tightens with white knuckles. But when he looks out, nothing is there and he slowly resettles on the waves.

Jeremy is not cut out for being this long in the open water. Fucking everything is far too terrifying to him today.

Then another hit and a shove, the boat creaking as it’s moved forward in the water, pushed through the waves. Jeremy gives a manly yelp, yanking his oars in, but the boat continues moving, going further and faster than he was rowing. Jeremy glances behind the boat and spots a pair of long tails, like the glimpse he saw before. One a deep brown, like the earth. The other a bright greenish blue, nearly blending into the ocean waves that broke around it. They move together, slicing through the water in ease, helping the boat move as well.

Jeremy sits back, for a second wanting to shoo them off. But as they push, he realizes it’s in the direction of shore. In the direction of home. These creatures are helping him. He doesn’t know why, but he prays at least this is them actually saving him. And not somehow taking him to better place to kill him.

They finally stop as Jeremy sees the shore approaching. Blessedly familiar and waiting like nothing has happened. Still a bit away, but well within Jeremy’s reach. Where he should hopefully reach before sundown.

He whirls around, looking back to see the first creature. She calls, some random chirping noise echoed across the water and Jeremy turns to see her waving. Her arms hold some sort of fins, the same as the cyan tail that shimmered through the water. Her companion glares like he’s trying to kill him with just his eyes, which is the only thing that pokes out above the water. Mixed with the curled, red hair, it only seems to further the mood and intimidation.

Jeremy blinks and waves back to the female, avoiding the ire of the other. She beams, turning to the other and seems to be chirping something. He rolls his eyes, shaking his head before disappearing again in the water. She laughs a moment before joining him. Jeremy watches a few moments more, until the waves settle and it seems like nothing had ever been there at all.

Jeremy swallows, running a hand through his hair before turning back to the shore. Now within reach, the promise of home.

During the paddle, Jeremy can only think of seeing those creatures again. Curiosity fills in after the fear and a new plan for the coming days starts taking over his thoughts. Whatever that was, whatever those are, Jeremy needs to know more.

#ragehappy #mermaid au #mermaid!lindsay #mermaid!michael #not really shippy so not going to tag #anyway hope yall enjoy

[writersrealmbts]

Sunlight off the Water

Description:   When you’re assigned to participate in some sort of vacation show that a foreign music group was doing, you meet some strange guys. Jackson is this vibrant being, strange and excited about new things and constantly paying attention to you. How he managed to make a camping trip in one of the least dangerous States in the United States into an adventure you’ve never experienced before you may never know.

Warnings: N/A

Posted: 8/18/2018

Tags: Jackson Wang, JacksonXReader

Fluff? Angst? Both?:  12,438 words

A/N: I’m sorrrrrryyyyyy. This is my first time writing for a different group and I’m sorry if I didn’t do them justice. Also, it’s based in Michigan because I know Michigan better than any of the other states, second best being a tie between Florida, and Ohio, followed by Tennessee and Texas. Also, there’s only one poisonous snake. You’re far more likely to get killed by a moose. I love Jackson, so I hope you guys like this. Apologies Mobile Users…I did use a Keep Reading thing but it doesn’t work on mobile!

You flinched back in surprise at the antics of the man in front of you, surprised and trying to hide the smile and laughter from your coworker who was definitely not amused. But he noticed and sneered. “You think this is funny, y/n?” You debated whether to come clean or not, noticing that the man had stopped, a wary look on his face. “Does it matter if I do or don’t? It hardly seems relevant to the outcome of the situation.” You tried to ease around the question, turning to walk away since there was nothing more to be done. Your coworker caught your wrist in a grip that was way too tight. “Hey!”

“Don’t walk away from me, y/n. You haven’t finished your job.” His grip seemed to tighten with each word. “You’re hurting me!” You glared at him, ready to kick him you-know-where. “Let go of her,” the man said in a voice you would classify as dangerous from the look on his face. “Before I call the police.” Your coworker sneered. “Oh so you can be serious! How interesting! What do you expect the police to do?” The man stepped between you and your coworker, his own hand gripping your coworkers wrist. “Let go of her.” You were a little surprised when your coworker let out a pained sound and dropped your wrist. You snatched it to yourself, cradling it in your other hand as you backed away from the two men. “Jackson,” another man approached from the elevators with a group. Jackson glanced at them for a second, then continued staring down your coworker, having let go the moment you were free. You stepped forward, gently touching Jackson’s shoulder. “He’ll leave now.” He slowly nodded, backing up but not tearing his gaze away from the red-faced coworker. The guys that were looking for him came over and seemed to understand what was going on, casually forming a protective circle around you. Your coworker huffed. “This isn’t over, y/n!” You tensed to prevent shivering at the chill that slid down your spine. Could this day get any weirder? It was odd enough that you were going to be doing some strange reality show with this guy, Jackson, and some other guys (probably the ones surrounding you). But to also have today be the day your coworker snaps? “You’re y/n, right?” Jackson asked, facing you. “Are you okay?” You blinked in surprise, then nodded. “I’ll talk to my boss about him.” “I’m Jackson.” You smiled awkwardly. “Nice to meet you. I understand that I’m taking you and a few others camping for some sort of show?” “It’s going to be me, Mark, and Jinyoung,” he replied, oddly calm and still compared to before. The boys seemed a little put off by it too. You nodded. “Right. Um. I look forward to working with you.” You bowed slightly, knowing it was a custom, before excusing yourself. “Where are you going?” He asked, falling in step with you. “I have to get my bag from my room and check out of the hotel.” You were a little bewildered by the fact that he kept up with you. He nodded and kept walking with you, stopping and standing like a bodyguard at the door while you went inside. You shook your head a bit, gathering the last of your things and making sure nothing was left behind before lugging your duffel bag and backpack out into the hall. He wordlessly took the duffel from you and held his hand out for the backpack. “Um, I’ve got it. Thank you, though.” He nodded and grabbed your hand leading the way back down to the lobby while you were still in a bit of shock. “So, do you go camping often, y/n?” “Um, yeah. I’ve spent half of my life out there. I mean, we’re using cabins which is a bit different for me. But it’ll be…different.” “You’re not afraid we’ll run into bears?” “Um, well, I didn’t say that. There’s always a possibility of bears, but raccoons, possums, and deer are far more likely.” “Raccoons and possums?” He repeated, looking concerned. “Scavengers, small mammals, same size or bigger than cats. Generally more scared of you than you are of them. Don’t worry. If we don’t leave food out we shouldn’t have any issues.” You shrugged, not really worried about running across any creatures. You were worried about the three men you would be spending the next two weeks with and the camera that would be filming you. He fell silent again as the elevator doors closed. You watched the numbers slowly go down. “Do you cook?” “Yes I do. That was actually one of the requirements specified when I applied for the project.” He nodded. Then turned back to you. “You have nice skin.” “Th-thank you?” Nice skin? What was that supposed to mean? Sure, you were having a pretty good day as far as acne and such went, a pretty good week actually, but nice skin? Wasn’t exactly the kind of compliment that you normally got. So why did it make you so happy? “So, you are not igot7?” “Uh, I’m not sure what that is.” “Oh, my group is Got7 so our friends are IGot7s.” “You mean your fans?” “They’re more like our friends.” “Okay, So you hang out with them and eat meals together, and talk about important things? Support each other?” “Yes…” “Really?” You gave him a disbelieving look. The doors opened before he could respond and your boss saw you. “Ah! Y/n! They told me that they’d met you! Are you all set?” “I just have to check out.” “Good, good, now,” he guided you away from Jackson and toward the desk. “You take good care of them, don’t make them uncomfortable. These are valuable customers. And don’t worry too much about having to share a cabin with them—“ “With them?!” You hissed, but then you were at the desk and your boss had scurried off like the rat that he was to the boys again. You couldn’t believe this. Not only would you be camping alone with three—technically more with the cameraman—men, but you also had to share the cabins with them? You stalked back over to them, knowing you had no choice. The three that were going with you were saying goodbye to the other members, with Jackson being very…dramatic. Why did you find that so cute? Oh God, did you just…giggle? Thankfully Jackson was being loud enough that no one seemed to hear. Maybe it wouldn’t be too bad being around them. Awkward beyond belief, oh yes. But they seemed nice enough, maybe a little weird. Definitely handsome though, all of them, but there was just something a little…extra about Jackson that made him stand out. “Wait! Are there lots of snakes?” Jackson suddenly asked. “Um, there are some. But there’s only one poisonous snake here and it’s really rare. Your company chose Michigan because there aren’t as many threats. Worst bites you’ll probably get will be from mosquitoes. We don’t get massive earthquakes, we get tornadoes sporadically and they never get as bad as they do in the tornado belt. Our bugs aren’t huge. And you can swim without the fear of sharks, stingrays, jellyfish, alligators, or crocodiles. So, relatively safe.” Mark looked pretty amused and Jackson thoughtful while the others looked lost. “If it’s so great, why don’t more people live there?” One of the other boys asked. “Winter,” you answered simply. “We get cold in winter.” Mark nodded. “That’s a good reason not to live there.” You shrugged. “Some people are just sissies.” Jackson started howling with laughter. Mark looked a little surprised but he was smiling and laughing slightly too. The one who had asked about the population was translating for the others and they started laughing as well. One of them stepped forward and gave you a high-five. You watched Jackson come down from his laughter and shrugged at Mark. “So, where are you from?” “L.A.” “I’m sorry,” you apologized. He smirked a bit. “I’m sure you are. Not everyone is as lucky as me though.” Jackson was almost bouncing, he seemed exciting. “But what are we actually doing? Like, what can we do?” “Um, we can do a lot. We’re going kayaking, I’m taking you to sleeping bear dunes, if weather permits we’re going to try windsurfing…” You tried to remember the rest of the loose schedule that you had outlined for their agency. “Hiking, Iargo Springs, Pictured Rocks, Mackinac Island—which isn’t as exciting but it’s an experience I’m told is essential. Then you guys will fly out of Houghton down to Chicago and meet back up with your group.” “What will you do after we leave?” Jackson asked, looking concerned. “Um, go home?” “Where do you live?” “Um, small town. About an hour from here. Nothing special. We should get going, we still have to drive to the first stop and then to the campground and get groceries for dinner.” You deflected, thinking it wasn’t a good idea to get into that. The boys quickly bid farewell to the rest of their group farewell in Korean. You started walking toward the SUV with your suitcase and backpack. You were glad you only had to look after three of them. Seven would have been nearly impossible. “Are you driving?” Jackson asked, seeming surprised. “Um, yes. How else would we get there?” Their manager was waiting by the vehicle and talked to them, handing them each a camera and you a camera as well. “He asks that you get some footage of all three of us together,” Jackson translated. You nodded, having already agreed to do that. “The car cameras are already in place and I have the house cameras. One of the camera crew will meet us at each cabin we stay at, correct?” Jackson translated with Mark, then Mark nodded. “Yeah, But they cant be there all the time like you’re going to be. Also, one of them is meeting us in the…Christmas town?” Jackson nodded, confirming the translation. You nodded, understanding. “Frankenmuth. Right.” The man bowed slightly and retreated. “Can we listen to your music?” Jackson asked. “Um, wouldn’t you rather listen to your own?” You asked, worrying about sharing your music with strangers. It was always really awkward because unless people were close to you they usually didn’t dare skip songs that they didn’t like and you had some strange songs on your preferred playlist. “No,” he answered. You gestures to the other two. “I’m sure they have an opinion on the matter.” Mark was already putting in his own earbuds, but froze. “Uh…I don’t really care. I’m probably going to listen to my own music.” Jinyoung just looked a little lost. Jackson said something to him in Korean and you sighed silently wishing you hadn’t wasted so much time on French when your job had you working with people (tourists) who spoke Chinese, Japanese, and now Korean. Jinyoung had a pretty blank look as he replied. “They don’t care,” Jackson said, turning back to you. “Fine, but if you guys cringe I’m turning it off.” You spun around and to put the luggage in the trunk. “That bag is pretty heavy, let me get it.” He hurried to help you. It was seriously throwing you off how considerate he was. Either he was being kind or he actually thought you couldn’t handle it. He looked concerned when you gave him a perplexed look. “Did I say something wrong?” “I can handle it, you know,” you said carefully, not wanting to offend him. He nodded. “But you shouldn’t have to do all the work. You’re already going to be doing so much.” You nodded slowly, accepting his reasoning. “Then thank you.” The resulting smile he gave you made your chest tighten and a strange desire rose inside you to try and keep him smiling, prompting you to take some extra time before you got into the vehicle to put a couple of his group’s songs onto The playlist you were going to use. It already had everything from country, to pop, to whatever Fall Out Boy was. There was even a little bit of k-pop on there from songs you had found when you were researching for your job that fit the sort of vibe that the playlist was geared toward—summer and beaches. You just hoped these new songs were good so that you would have to feel bad. Jackson had taken the shotgun seat, the other two in the back seat talking softly and fully prepared to listen to their own music. You flashed them a smile as you checked to make sure they were buckled up, then started the car and turned on the music—quieter than it would be if it was just you. Jackson remedied that, turning it up and bopping along with the song. Mark got a little excited. “Oh! From Shrek!” You nodded, deciding to focus on driving and not on the eclectic nature of your playlist. “So, where are we going first? The Christmas town?” Jackson asked. “Frankenmuth. Um, it’s home to the worlds largest Christmas store, Bronner’s. Frankenmuth is a town of German heritage, specifically Bavaria, and keeps a German theme to its buildings. German is still a common language spoken there and it attracts a lot of tourists because of that and because of how they go all-out for Christmas. It’s going to be crazy with the re-enactment happening this weekend, but it should still be interesting.” “You mean fun? What’s a re-enactment?” “There are these groups that act the way people, specifically soldiers, did back during times of war. Sometimes the Revolutionary war and sometimes the civil war. And they do demonstrations and usually sell things as well. But I think we’re just exploring Bronners, then the the stores on Main Street after we get lunch.” You were talking a lot, trying to calm your nerves. “You act out your wars?” “No, well, yes, but not really. It’s an educational experience, I guess. Help people appreciate what we have and how we got it.” “I didn’t know there were events like that, I knew people acted them out from some shows but I didn’t think there were actually events,” Mark said, gesturing for Jackson to turn the music down a bit. “Yeah, they’re really dedicated. They set up camps and cook over fires, there are shops with old-time foods and beverages, clothes, and other things. There’s usually at least one blacksmith present, and at least one trader with furs and stuff. And people just walk around and ask questions and buy things and learn.” “And we aren’t going?” Jinyoung asked hesitantly. You shrugged and shook your head. “Too crowded. Your managers didn’t want to risk you guys being recognized and having to maneuver the camera.” “You’d take us in, though?” Jackson asked, looking like trouble. You hesitated. “I don’t know.” “Please? I want to see it. You guys want to see it, right? We don’t have to stay for long,” he pleaded. “I’ve never heard of them before. Can’t we at least see? Maybe get food?” You pursed your lips, considering it. “I do like kettle corn.” Jackson screamed excitedly, causing you to jump a bit. You gripped the steering wheel tightly. “I didn’t say yes!” “This is my song!” You blinked a couple times, listening to Dawn of Us and trying to equate the chill vibes of the song with the hyper man in the seat next to you. “This song?” “Yes! You don’t believe me?” You shrugged. “No, I believe you I’m just…surprised.” You’d found the song by accident and liked it. “It’s one of my favorite songs currently.” From the glances you managed to get at him, he was ecstatic, grinning at you but also jamming to his own song. The three boys fell into Korean, talking to each other about whatever. You tapped out the beat on the steering wheel, trying to soothe your nerves since he screamed and got your adrenaline going. If you didn’t calm down you’d have a serious case of suppressed road rage by the time you reached your destination. “So, have you lived here your whole life?” “Michigan?” He nodded. You nodded, sighing. “I’ve gotten to do a little traveling, but yeah. Born, raised,” You replied, leaving off the ‘stuck’. You didn’t have any specific place you wanted to go, you just felt like you were never going to grow past what you already were. Like you needed to take a step and do something more, but all you had in front of you was darkness and empty space. It was one of the reasons you had jumped at the unusual project of filming a vacation show with these boys. It was quiet, them listening to the new song—which was a country song (Compass by Lady Antebellum)—while you navigated the highway. “This is country music, right?” Mark asked. “Yeah, you can skip it if you don’t like it. I don’t care.” “It’s fine,” He replied, looking out the windshield. “So, how far is the town?” “Another twenty minutes,” You answered, glancing at the clock. “Give or take a couple minutes for traffic.” “Give or take…” Jinyoung said in a quizzical voice. Mark explained in Korean. You sighed, a little frustrated that you were limited in your ability to communicate with them. It was your job to look out for them, make sure they were fed, and show them different things. Take them on adventures that won’t risk their health. “Hey, what’s your favorite spot?” Jackson asked. “Like, in Michigan?” He nodded, smiling at you curiously. He was turned toward you, his attention focused entirely on you and your answer. “There’s a beach on lake Huron, with a clearing underneath a willow tree. My family went camping there when I was young. I would walk the beach for hours, then sit under that tree and draw. It wasn’t summer unless we went to that beach.” You sighed, thinking about the many summers you spent staring at the horizon, searching for inner peace. “Do you still go there?” “I haven’t been there in a couple years. Too busy.” You shrugged, taking the exit. “That’s sad.” You knew he meant it was sad that you weren’t able to get to a place you obviously loved, but it kind of sounded like he was saying it was a sad excuse not to go, or that it was a pathetic sentiment. You kept your mouth shut firmly. “Could we go there?” He asked suddenly. You glanced at him, a little surprised. “It…wouldn’t really fit in the schedule. From here we’re taking a two hour drive to the cabin at Tawas Point. We’ll reach there about…six, eight at the latest.” Six was already factoring in delays that were inevitable, like traffic and these guys getting wildly off-track.” “I thought there wasn’t a rigid schedule. There isn’t, but there’s enough of one that going all the way to Harrisville would be largely out of the way.” “How far out of the way?” Mark asked. “A little over an hour. Tawas is already out of the way, but it was the best option for staying overnight that was relatively close to our next stop.” You had been planning on camping out in a tent while they were in the cabin, but I guess the reservations that your boss made were a little different. You would have to stay in the cabin with the boys. At all of the stops on the trip. “Y/n,” Jackson said. “Yes?” Another question? How many did this guy have? “Jinyoung wants to know if we’re eating before or after going to the Christmas place.” “After. Why? Is he hungry? I have snacks in the cooler in the back seat.” Jackson relayed the information, sounding a little awed. “Wow, you’re really well prepared,” Mark said, sounding amused. “Done this before?” “Only a couple dozen times,” You replied, smiling. “With family and for myself.” “And with boyfriend?” Jinyoung asked. You scrunched your face. “No. I tried once, after we had been together for a few months. We broke up before night even fell.” “What happened?” “I told him we weren’t sharing a tent. Apparently that went against his plans.” You gripped the steering wheel. “Oh?” Jackson said. He sounded curious. You turned onto the road. “We’re here. Welcome to Christmas Wonderland.” ——————— You were seriously glad that they had been okay eating hot-dogs the night before. You all had arrived at the campground at about four, and after hastily dropping luggage, you all had hurried to the beach. The staff staying close to the boys while you enjoyed swimming away from the rowdy boys and relaxing in the water after the stress of the crowds in Frankenmuth. The staff had to leave around nine-thirty, and leaving you with the boys. Alone. Thankfully you had had the foresight to pack games that were easy to understand and explain. Like dice. Six dice, basic math, and a little friendly competition. But around the time you all got ready for bed, it got a little awkward. They automatically gave you the other bedroom, so that you could have some privacy. Jinyoung somehow managed to reign Jackson in and convince him that sleeping was a good idea and not another game. You retreated to your room after planning out what to make for breakfast, and managed to sleep until about five minutes before your alarm went off. You got dressed and sneaked out to the beach for a walk in the early morning sunlight. It was a beautiful morning. You quietly went back into the cabin. The boys were awake. And shirtless. It shouldn’t have mattered. It really shouldn’t have. Shirtless guys were sort of a dime a dozen when you were near a beach. You looked away, feeling embarrassed as they acted both surprised and embarrassed. “We thought you were still asleep,” Jackson said, holding a shirt but not putting it on yet. He sounded surprised. You gestured to the camera. “I went to the beach. Caught the early morning light.” He picked the camera up and watched the clips of the morning. You felt like your face was about to burst into flames. You didn’t expect him to watch what you had filmed and you hadn’t deleted the one video you got while you were walking back through the campground and stopped to pet the dog. “Wow, meotj shineyo,” He said, eyes fixed on the small screen. He was calm right now, still waking up, but when his gaze came up to meet yours, he smiled and looked at you so kindly. So, of course, you quickly looked away, back to the food that didn’t actually need your attention at the moment. You got the eggs ready to scramble, not wanting to go for something fancy when easy was just as good and less likely to get ruined. “Bacon?” Mark asked, coming over and looking. “Hope you like it crisp because…” You quickly pulled the pieces out, clenching your teeth as some of the grease popped and splattered on your hands. You were used to it, honestly. Besides that, you needed to make tomorrow’s breakfast as well since you didn’t fancy trying to cook breakfast on a grill or over a campfire. You were going to make breakfast burritos and wrap them in foil so that in the morning you could just heat them up and go. Which meant that after you finished making their breakfast for this morning, you would have to start on breakfast for tomorrow, and probably send them to walk around or to one of the playgrounds. Jinyoung started doing the dishes for you after they finished eating, though, defying your expectations. “Not that one, I’m going to make tomorrow’s breakfast.” You took the pan back and started preparing to cook eggs, bacon, sausage, onions, peppers, and potatoes for breakfast burritos. “Tomorrow’s?” Jackson questioned you, coming over and drying the dishes for Jinyoung. “But you just finished today’s.” “I wanted to make tomorrow easier. You guys can go to the beach or something while I cook. We have two hours before we need to hit the road.” You got out the packages of tortillas and then looked at them. They were all fixated on the ingredients you had out. “What are you making?” Jinyoung dried his hands and checked the peppers, looking mildly relieved for some reason. “Breakfast burritos. I know it’s nothing fancy but…” You trailed off, worried that you had wildly miscalculated when it came to feeding them. “Will they be spicy?” Jackson asked. “I can leave the peppers off,” You replied, glad you hadn’t cut into them yet. “You know, if you want I can just cook up the ingredients and you guys can tell me what you want in yours…” “We can help!” Jackson smiled at you. Mark had the camera and had been filming this whole time apparently, but he agreed with the other two boys. After the ingredients were all cooked (aside from the cheese, of course) and in seperate dishes you made your own burritos to show them how to roll them and wrap them in foil. You also did Mark’s burritos since he was filming the making of the burritos. Jinyoung managed to successfully fold his into burrito form and then wrap them in foil. Jackson tore the first attempt, which you ended up wrapping differently for him, but got it on the second try. Then they went down to the bathrooms to clean up and officially get ready for the day while you used up the rest of the ingredients in extra burritos, then put them in the cooler and finish packing up the rest of the supplies. Their staff came and picked up the major luggage and then left to get to the next campground ahead of you all. They would spend tomorrow with you all, since you had told them that rain was in the forecast and you had that cabin for two nights in the first place to allow them to recover from today’s activities. The first of which was the stop at Iargo Springs. Jackson looked down as the stairs continued. “How many steps are there again?” “Three hundred,” You answered, continuing down the wooden stairs. “And if we’re quiet, we might spots some wildlife, particularly birds.” He nodded then took your hand. You had noticed that he would take your hand, and walk between you and other groups of people. He was actively trying to take care of you, and protect you, treating you better than anyone ever had. It made you feel incredibly guilty, because it seemed like you weren’t taking as good of care of them. “What kind of trees are these?” “Hemlocks, mostly, though farther down I think there’s some white cedar and birch,” You answered, having learned about the trees from your many adventures. In all honesty, you had chosen this place because you liked it and because it might burn some excess energy from the boys. You hadn’t known what to expect for the trip. It was beautiful and peaceful and you could pretty much recite the significance of the area that was written out in signs at the Lumbermen’s Monument down the road further. The one crawling with kids and families where all you really saw at the bottom of the steps was a historical replica of a raft with wax food in glass cases explaining the life of lumbermen. Iargo springs, in comparison, had some wildlife and the springs themselves created waterfalls that gave the whole area a sort of tranquility that you sincerely needed after the awkward night and morning in the cabin with the boys. “So, this place…” Jinyoung asked, looking back at you. “Several springs come out of this hillside and feed the lake, which was used largely for transport of timber. It’s really…” You felt stupid for planning this stop. “There isn’t that much to see, but it’s…” “It’s seems really peaceful,” Mark said, giving you a smile. You attempted to smile back, but failed to smile convincingly enough for Jackson. “I want to know everything,” He said, gently pulling alongside him and down the rest of the steps. “Where’s the water?” You stopped him and pointed. “There’s where some of it is coming from right there.” He looked and then looked at you. “It’s coming out of the ground?” “Yeah, there’s a sign explain—” “I want you to tell me.” You stopped yourself from finishing the sentence and slowly nodded. “Groundwater. It flows deep in the soil until it reaches a point where it breaks the ground surface such as on a hill. This water will be…almost completely uncontaminated at the mouth of the spring. At least, what I know of it.” He nodded slowly, processing what you said. “Then what?” “The water flows down the hillside together in a stream or creek or whatever you want to call it, meeting up with other bodies of water. This is a place where you can see many stages of streams because there are a few springs that come out of this hillside and all of them go into the lake.” You pointed to the larger stream. “Why is there a dam?” Mark asked. “I have no clue. I’ve been trying to figure it out for years. Maybe they were trying to create more wildlife habitat or maybe they didn’t want to damage the hillside or anything by trying to tear it apart.” You shrugged. Mark nodded, then he and Jinyoung wandered off down one of the sections of boardwalk. Jackson was studying the water. He was quiet, which was unusual. He seemed to talk almost constantly, seeming unable to abide silence. Part of you was relieved because you often didn’t know how to fill the silence, and because your life had had so much silence lately. The other part of you was bracing for the onslaught of questions that would follow his silence. You took a deep breath, and leaned against the rail. “Sorry you’re stuck with us.” You looked over at him, surprised. “What?” “I’m sure you’d rather be hanging out with friends than taking us around.” “Oh, no, this is probably the most exciting thing I’ve done in months.” He didn’t say anything else, just took your hand again and started walking down a boardwalk toward the lake. “What do you do in your spare time?” “Sleep, watch TV, volunteer at the animal shelter,” You replied, shrugging slightly. Jackson tilted his head. “You…” He seemed to be struggling, mouth opening and then closing with no words coming out. “You’re okay with the trip? I know you weren’t expecting to stay with us. I saw the tent in the trunk.” “It was a surprise. Um, we should both probably be using the cameras.” Although, Jinyoung had been using the main camera. Jackson nodded and took out the camera. He started talking to it in Korean and filming the scenery. You let him film alone, walking back up to the stream, taking off your shoes and dangling your feet in the freezing water. It was so cold it almost hurt, but you knew your feet would go numb soon and match the rest of your body. Jinyoung crouched next to you, startling you for a moment and giving you the camera, then went off down another branch of the boardwalk. You sighed and carefully started filming the area. You did your best to capture the area, and the boys in the area. All three boys were chatting on one of the decks that was out in the lake, goofing off and laughing—mostly because of Jackson. You caught them laughing on camera, doing your best to capture each of them as they were. Jackson noticed you and laughed again, grabbing Mark, and looking embarrassed. You smiled a little and then gestured for them to continue whatever it was that they were doing. They started talking to the camera, every once in a while asking you questions about the history of the place or clarifying different things. They were definitely used to being in front of a camera. You pointed out into the water. “Ducks.” Jackson looked and got excited. “Hi ducks!” You sidestepped carefully so that they wouldn’t catch you on their cameras. Finally, they started heading back to the stairs. You followed, keeping up with them as they talked, not understanding a single word they said. It was strange and lonely, being with people and yet not being a part of the group. Once you were all back in the car, the boys were in the back, still talking about the trip and everything while you drove. You were bummed. You were second guessing everything you had planned for the trip. You hadn’t wanted to do anything too cliche, but maybe you should have. More activities. “Y/n,” Jackson touched your shoulder. You flinched. “Yes?” “You said we were going to go hiking?” You chewed your lip. “Um, possibly.” They had liked the beach. The beach was a good idea. Hiking? It didn’t seem likely that they would enjoy that, especially since this stop had been such a dud. “There isn’t time?” Jinyoung asked. “No, there’s time…” You answered, but you weren’t sure how to explain that you didn’t want to bore them. “Are we hiking today or another day?” Mark asked. Jackson pointed out the window. “Ice cream! Can we get ice cream?” You automatically pulled into the ice cream shop. Things like this were one of the reasons that you had scheduled extra time between stops and extra down time. For ice cream. The boys piled out and you pulled out the money for their food. “So, we normally have to play some sort of game to get money for food,” Jackson told you. “Um…” You looked at the three boys. “Like what?” “Uh…” The other two boys conferred with him, but they seemed to be stumped. “Like…Simon Says?” You asked, scratching at your arm where you got a mosquito bite. “Yeah, like that,” Mark answered, then said something to the other two that seemed explanatory. They nodded and got excited. Mark nodded to you. “Go ahead.” It was probably the weirdest thing you had ever done, playing Simon Says with three full-grown men, in the parking lot of an Ice Cream shop with the few guests there watching. You also had to figure out the criteria for getting money for food because at the moment they were just playing. Jackson was the first one out and he sort of shrieked and ran to the van to hit his head against it. Jinyoung got a pass one of the times because he hadn’t understood what you had said and the other two were okay with it, but then he did something when you didn’t say ‘Simon Says’ and left Mark as the winner. You made your way over to the menu to check out prices, having overheard what each of the boys was really wanting, you finally came up with a plan and handed each of the boys their share according to who won and such, but made sure they each still had enough for what they wanted. Jackson got excited, hugging you and and then growing still as he waited almost impatiently for his turn to order. He looked back at you and pulled you up next to him. “You have to get ice cream too.” “I’m the driver,” You answered, but you couldn’t help but smile. “That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get ice cream. I’d feel bad if you didn’t get any.” You shook your head. “I’ll get a milkshake then.” You dug into your purse and checked your wallet for cash. A small milkshake it would seem. You must have left your cash in your backpack, which was underneath the boys’ backpacks in the trunk. Jackson kept you close. “Are you having fun?” You nodded, only partially lying. Watching the boys play Simon Says was funny, and the time in Frankenmuth the day before, as well as the time on the beach both last night and this morning had been great. But constantly being an outsider, in charge of their entertainment, feeding and general welfare and safety was…hard. You hadn’t realized how lonely you would still feel, even distracted as you were. Jackson gently pulled you forward again as the line moved. “You are?” “Yes,” You replied, making sure to smile. He looked at you, looked in your eyes, and somehow you knew that he didn’t believe you. That he was worried. He got a little solemn, his gaze darkening. “We really did like that place. We don’t get to go somewhere that peaceful very often. It was beautiful.” “Beautiful, yeah,” You looked away, still smiling. Jackson took your hand. “Where are we going hiking?” “You guys don’t want to go hiking, it’s not exciting enough for you guys. You’ve seen everything,” Your said, then your eyes widened as you realized you were complaining out loud to him. “I’m sorry, ignore me, I’m just rethinking my plan for the trip.” “What? But why?” Jackson asked, squeezing your hand. “The plan looked great.” “It doesn’t take a mind reader to know that you three are city boys. There’s only so much of being one with nature that you can take. I don’t know what I was thinking with all of this. I should have planned more city stops.” He said something in Korean, then put his arm around your shoulder. “We’re doing everything you planned. If you don’t think the boys will like it, then you and I will go. That way if I get hurt, you can go for help and if you get hurt I can carry you.” Mark turned. “We could always cook dinner while you two are gone and make it a sort of competition. Whoever cooks you the best dinner gets the most spending money for the day.” Jinyoung, the only one following the instructions of filming everything since you had put the camera away after filming them playing Simon Says (because it was too good to miss), slipped up next to Mark so that all four of you were on the camera. You turned away, shielding your face. “They’ll blur your face out later,” Mark reassured you as Jackson pulled your hand from your face. “Stop it, you’re beautiful, they should see you.” Jackson finally trapped your hands away from your face and turned you toward the camera. “We’re getting ice cream! Then we’re going to go hiking and it’s going to be great!” You felt your phone vibrate from a text, and checking it let you know that their staff already checked you all into the next cabin, had dropped off their luggage, and were checked into their hotel rooms. “Oh, it’s your turn, Jinyoung,” Mark said, pushing the other boy to the window to order. You got closer to the prices and realized, after checking your wallet for change, that you didn’t actually have enough for even the small milkshake. You had really messed up. Jackson gave you a confused look as you pulled out of line and went back to the van, pretending you had gotten a call. You went into the van after ‘ending your call’ and waited in the driver’s seat, feeling like an idiot. You texted your mom, letting her know that you were alive and that everything was going ‘great’—because if you had used ‘fine’ your mom would be calling you and you weren’t about to deal with that. A little while later, all the boys piled in, Jackson getting in the front seat. He set a chocolate milkshake cup in your cup holder. You looked up, surprised. He was looking at his ice cream as he ate it. “We should get going if we’re going to hike, right?” You glanced back at Jinyoung and Mark, but they were also carefully avoiding looking at you. “Yeah,” You murmured, facing the road and turning on the van. Mark had his headphones on about five minutes into the trip, and Jinyoung was following suit. Jackson was seemingly absorbed in his ice cream, but the minute the boys were listening to their own music he cleared his throat. “You didn’t have enough cash. All three of us had some left after getting our own.” “Thank you,” You murmured. The rest of the hour-long drive was spent talking to him. Nothing major or personal, just talking. You guys talked about dogs, friends, cats, television, food, and books. Once you reached the campground, he woke the boys while you got out and went to unlock the cabin and check out the bedding situation. Three bunk beds, one with a full-size bed on the bottom. All one room. Fire pit and grill outside for cooking. Propane heat if it got cold. “I got your backpack for…” Jackson trailed off as they came in. “One room?” “Yup.” You took a deep breath. “It’s fine. I’ll figure it out.” “She gets the big bed,” Jinyoung said, putting his backpack on one of the top bunks of the twins. “Oh, no, that’s okay…” They were already moving around to make sure it was that way. Mark and Jinyoung checked out the cooler to figure out what they could try and make for dinner in a few hours and you went over the campground maps. “We’re not far from two of the lakes, so you two could go down to them as well while we’re hiking.” Mark nodded, coming over to look at the map. “Where will you two be going?” “Probably the Au Sable trail.” You traced the path, considering your options. Jackson was changing into better shoes for walking, talking with Jinyoung. You grabbed a couple extra granola bars, and water bottles, shoving them into your backpack with the first aid kit. “We’ll drive down to the parking lot here, near the trail head. That way if your staff planned on the museum it won’t be a repeat for you.” Mark nodded. “How long will it take?” You shrugged a little. “Two hours, maybe? It’s hard to say.” He nodded. “We’ll aim for dinner being ready at seven.” “Sounds good. Ready Jackson?” Jackson handed you the camera and case, and grabbed his camera. “Ready.” ————— Jackson’s arm wrapped quickly around your waist and pulled you back, insistent on taking a picture with you. You groaned in mock frustration, giving in to his goofiness. He switched the camera to his other hand cupping your cheek and jaw as he turned it toward the camera. Except he turned your head so that you were facing him, looking at his face, his smile. At first you were surprised, then you sort of lost your train of thought as you just admired the man that was completely off limits. Then you regained your senses and ducked out of his grasp. “Were you smiling?” “I don’t know, you were squishing my face,” You replied jokingly, flashing him a grin. He started protesting, saying that you had to take another, but gave up when he realized you were getting farther ahead of him and he didn’t want to be alone. He caught your hand as he caught up, noticing that you had filmed the whole thing. “Oh, come on…” “It was cute, your fans will like it,” You teased, surprised at how easily the two of you were interacting after talking in the car. He was quiet. “Cute?” You looked over at him, worried he had taken your sentence the wrong way, but he was looking at you, a bit of a smile on his face. Actually, the look on his face just made your cheeks burn with the amount of teasing you expected from him. He kept a firm hold on your hand as you hurried to keep moving. You had to remind yourself that as long as one of the cameras was on there was an audience. You weren’t about to keep flirting (oh God, you didn’t even know you knew how to flirt) with him when someone else would see this. But you wanted to. You wanted to keep teasing him and flirting, and see how far past the limits you could push yourself before remembering that you only had a few days with him. He seemed more natural alone with you. He talked about his parents and the other members, his brother and his music. Maybe it was because he knew they would probably just have the hike on fast-forward or something. “So…you’re thinking of quitting your job?” He switched the topic almost seamlessly, but left you stumbling. “Um…” You huffed slightly to calm yourself. “I don’t know. I’ll probably try and get a different job before I quit this one. Maybe try a different town. It just…it feels like it’s time for a change, but I don’t know what that change is. It’s just something in the air…” He squeezed your hand, which somehow said so much. It made you think of how he had acted like a body guard at the hotel, standing outside your door while you packed up your things, and then took your suitcase as if it was his job. It was like you two were in this little dance of who was taking care of whom, and both of you wanted to win, but also wanted the other to win. “Oh, watch the branch,” He said, hand covering your head and guiding you under it as you tried not to laugh. “Be careful.” “Yes, Jackson,” You responded in a teasingly patronizing voice. He immediately went into a sort of hyena laugh. “Sorry, sorry.” You started laughing, then impulsively kissed his cheek. Then you panicked and ripped your hand away, running down the path. You watched your steps so that you wouldn’t trip and fall, but you were scolding yourself. You couldn’t just kiss his cheek! “Y/n!” You ran around a bend, and down to a huge white pine, ducking behind the trunk to catch your breath and possibly your sanity. Forget quitting, you could get fired for this. “Y/n!” Jackson called again, sounding worried. Finally he reached a point in the path where he could see you. You gave him a shrug and a smile. “Let’s keep moving.” He caught your arm, stopping you. “Hey…” You didn’t look at him. He leaned in close and softly kissed your cheek. “Those guys that you dated were idiots if they lost you.” You looked at him, eyes wide with surprise. You didn’t know what to say. His gaze was intense, serious. “You’re so caring. Loving.” You almost wanted to run away again, but you were glued to the spot. He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. “Maybe you felt a change in the air because you were about to meet me.” He then took your hand and gently pulled you down the trail. The two of you didn’t speak the rest of the hike, but kept glancing at each other with soft smiles and secrets. He would squeeze your hand gently, then pull you closer to him, almost like he felt you start to drift back to reality. Drifting back to the knowledge of the fate of any relationship the two of you could form, only to be drawn back to his side. Every once in a while, he would stop to admire the scenery, then steal a kiss. And with every stolen kiss, you felt this bond between you grow stronger. You didn’t know what would happen if you were torn apart. Jackson sighed when the trail-head came into view. “Can’t we…I just wish…” “We should stop now, before we hurt each other.” He frowned. “I don’t want to stop now. We have time together. We’ll figure out what will happen later. Let’s just…enjoy each other’s presence right now. Can’t we just…” “Don’t you have a contract?” He froze, his gaze shifting away from you. “Yeah…I do…” “So technically, you’ve already broken it just by kissing me. Don’t risk your career on me, Jackson.” “You researched me,” He murmured. “You already checked to see if I could have a girlfriend. You like me. You like me enough to check and see if I could even have a girlfriend. When did you look that up?” “I was in the car for a while pretending I was taking a phone call.” You hugged yourself, pulling your hand free of his. “Besides, it was just to try and knock me back to the ground. I mean, while there’s something romantic in the idea that a guy would give something up for a girl he likes…but I would feel guilty for the rest of my life if anyone ever did that.” “What if…what if we just talked? What if we just got to know each other? If we’re still interested in each other when my contract is renewed…” He stepped in close, gently pulling your arms from around you so he could take both of your hands in his own. “I may not seem like it, but I’m patient. And I come to America for tours. It could be fun to sneak around and see each other.” You shook your head. “You already miss seeing your family. You deserve to find love and happiness at the right time, with the right person. That isn’t me.” He just held onto your hands more tightly. “But…” “Don’t, Jackson. We both know how this ends. We part ways and never come back together because this is one of those things where we’re just thrown together and once we part there is nothing to bring us together again.” “I’ll bring us together again,” He argued, his arm going firmly around your waist. “Don’t you want to at least try and fight for us?” You looked at his face, so serious and determined. You did. You wanted to forget all the things that would prevent you from being together and just enjoy being with the sweetest, most considerate man you had ever met. But after fighting yourself, fighting work to just get through the day… “You do,” He answered, reading your face. He licked his lips, the pressed his forehead to yours. “You’re tired, but you want to fight.” You closed your eyes. “You’re the first man I’ve ever been drawn to so strongly. The first person I’ve ever spent so little time around and yet felt so attached to.” “This feels right,” He finished your thoughts in a low tone, his voice deepening attractively. He gently pressed a kiss to your lips. “But you’re tired. You’ve been fighting since before you met me. Stop fighting, rest, then fight for us.” You instinctively curled into his chest, resting his head on his shoulder. “Okay.” “Really?” You nodded, then peeked up at him. “I’ll fight for us.” He grinned. “So, we can worry about the dating ban later?” You nodded again. He kissed you again. “Good. Because I like you a lot. The guys will help us sneak around, not that we need to since we’re basically doing all the filming ourselves. They already thought that…well…they knew that I liked you. They only backed out of the hike because they knew.” You groaned. “Ugh, the schedule. I have to work on it, refine it. We should—” “Whoa, hey, the schedule looks great to us. We thought it looked good. We especially liked the extra time on the beaches.” He grinned and wrapped his arms around your waist. “Now, why don’t we take that other trail?” “Why do I feel like you don’t want to hike?” You teased. He kissed you again. “I do. I just want to do it with you. I want to hold your hand. I want you to show me your favorite things about the trails. I want to be alone with you while I can.” You smiled at him. “Or we could go back to the cabin to make sure our dinner is edible.” “They can cook!” “How well?” You asked, folding your arms. He looked away blankly. “Yeah, we should go make sure our food is edible.” You kissed his cheek. “We’ll have plenty of time together.” He smiled again and nodded. “I hope we don’t accidentally poison you and ourselves.” “That’s what I hope to prevent. Mostly I just want to make sure that they figured out how to use the grill. Charcoal can be tricky.” He nodded and led you back to the car, arm around you protectively. A perfect gentleman. —————— Sneaking kisses, holding hands, getting hugs, and sharing conversations with Jackson had become your favorite part of the trip. No matter where the two of you went, even with the other two guys and you making sure you did your job, it was like a whole new adventure. Beaches were the best. You all would goof off for hours at a time, and you felt like you hadn’t smiled and laughed so much in ages. The sunlight reflecting off of the water dazzled your eyes, making it seem so much brighter and more beautiful than ever. Which was the same thing that Jackson had done for your life. You had always guarded yourself from defining your life by who you were dating. You didn’t need a boyfriend to have a place in the world. But Jackson definitely brought out the best in you. He knew exactly how to make you smile, or when you just needed a hug, and he listened when you talked about things that you loved. He helped you be happier, just by existing, and even just listening to him talk gave you this sense of peace that you had been missing. There had been times over the trip when you definitely snapped at him, or he got upset with you. There are always those times, with anyone. Like today. You had been worrying about the schedule because if you fell behind today, then you might be late the next day. For their departing flight to Chicago. You were tired, worried, and dreading their departure because you knew you would have to say goodbye to Jackson and you just snapped at him. So he got upset and you two ended up arguing because you were ‘worrying too much’ and he was ‘being inconsiderate and delaying things’. Mark and Jinyoung separated you two for the ‘mission’ of finding souvenirs and eating once you reached Houghton, after arguing for the las half hour of the car ride from Pictured Rocks. You sighed, already feeling guilty. “I’m sorry,” You murmured to Mark, scanning the stores for content. Jinyoung and Jackson were eating and then shopping while the two of you did the opposite. “You’re tired. Arguments happen.” He shrugged, stopping and looking in a window. “But I hope you two work it out. I’ve never seen him so happy and peaceful.” “I don’t think I’ve ever been as happy as I have since I met him. I know it can’t last. You guys are leaving tomorrow,” You said, silently cursing the way your voice sounded. “And I have to make sure you do leave. It’s my job. It’s my job and I hate it. Besides…there’s also the whole contract issue.” Mark opened the door to a store. “Yeah…contract…” You stopped and stared at him. “What was that tone?” He shook his head. “I just forgot about it.” You didn’t quite believe him, but you let it go for now and followed him into the store. “You know, they’re really impressed with you. And this trip was really great. I mean, we ate good food and got to have fun and go to the beach. We learned a lot too. I mean, I’m from California. This is a lot different from what I’m used to, but it was also cool to learn about another state. You cooked for us, and you made sure that even though we had a lot of activities we also had time to just chill and do our own thing. They might consider hiring you.” He gave you a smile. You managed a tired smile in return, then turned to the owner and made sure it was okay to have the camera filming Mark, then nodded your thanks. “Maybe.” The two of you went around the store, then several others, finally finding a souvenir that he was happy with. Then the two of you went to a restaurant. You sat across from him, trying to figure out how to apologize to Jackson. “We’ll try and get you two some time away from the cameras after this,” He said, pretending you weren’t still filming him. There wasn’t enough time left in the day to talk to Jackson much more than to say that you needed to talk to him in the morning and to share a look that showed how sorry you both were. You cried late into the night, and your alarm woke you up far too early in the morning. You felt shaky and tired. You just wanted to lay back down and go to sleep, but no. You had to get up and make sure the boys would have something to eat before they got on the plane. You made a quick trip to the store and got some donuts, muffins, mixed fruit, and croissants. Since you had no way of heating any food up or keeping any food cold, you made the executive decision that they could spare the calories and that fruit was healthy enough. Then you cleaned up all of your stuff and set the food up on the desk in your room, getting out the plates and plastic utensils, and then hiding your luggage in the closet. You went to their room and knocked. Mark opened the door and smiled at you, but it was strained. The staff were already in their room. Before he could even say the good morning his half-asleep brain was still working up to, you flashed a smile. “I have food for you guys. Want me to bring it here?” “Oh, no, it’s—” One of the staff nodded. “Bring it here.” You nodded, still forcing a smile as you went back to your room, packed everything back into the bags and took it to the boys’ room to do  what you had already done, again. You set it up, still forcing the smile. Jinyoung helped you pull things out of the bag and sort them on the table. “Did you sleep, y/n?” “Yes. How did you sleep?” “It was an early morning,” He answered, then put a hand lightly on your shoulder. “We didn’t know it was starting this early.” You just nodded, your heart heavy. Then Jinyoung knocked over the jug of orange juice, all over the food. “Ah! I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” He rushed to grab the paper towels to try and clean it up. You looked at it blankly, stunned at how he had managed to accidentally knock it over and get all of the food, effectively ruining all but the fruit. The staff started making a big fuss. Jackson said something in korean, then repeated it a couple times before grabbing your wrist. “Come on. Let’s go.” You let him pull you out of the room and down the hall, then out to the vehicle. He opened the driver’s side door and basically picked you up and set you on the seat facing him. He kissed you, then rested his head on your shoulder. “I’m so sorry.” “It was my fault. I was tired and stressed and…I…” He looked up at you. “I lied to you.” You froze, choking up and ready to cry at those simple words. He lied? About what? Did he not…love you? He gave a shaky smile. “I don’t have a dating ban anymore. I just…wanted to make sure you really actually liked me. I had to see…you have to understand…I wanted someone who liked me for me.” You stared back at him. He wiped your tears away, looking upset. “I wish I didn’t have to leave you, but…can’t you…can’t we keep going?” He looked like he might start crying as he held a water bottle to your lips. “Drink.” You swallowed some water, then sniffled. “You can date?” “I can date. And I can love you better than anyone else. I should have told you sooner. It was stupid of me to hurt you like that. I’m so sorry for hurting you,” He murmured, closing his eyes and looking at the ground, holding both of your hands. “I’m sorry I snapped at you,” You whispered. “I’m sorry you’re always having to comfort me.” He kissed your forehead. “You’re always taking care of me. You shouldn’t be apologizing to me. I’m the one who lied. I’m the one who hurt you. I’m the one…” His voice cracked. “I’m the one who’s not going with you,” You said, taking the blame for the inevitable separation. “I’m the one who is letting go of us, and pushing you back toward your career.” He shook his head, breath hitching. “I fell in love with you the moment I saw you, you know.” “I’m the one saying goodbye.” “I couldn’t stand how that man treated you. He should be in jail.” You closed your eyes. “I’m the one driving you to the airport, and making sure you leave.” “You knew my song even though you didn’t know me, and you know all this history but you spout it out like you’re embarrassed you know it. You always seem to know when one of us is hungry.” You really had to fight that sob before you said, “I’m the one saying it won’t work out between us.” He was crying. “The way you look in the sunlight…” “I’m the one forcing you to let go of me.” “You’re sunlight off the water,” He said, and it stopped all the words in your throat. “If I look too long, I could go blind from how beautiful you are. You are the happiest place I’ve known in a long time. You’re someone I would have to show to my mom and dad so that they could try and share some of the happiness that you bring me.” You looked over to see Mark and Jinyoung and the staff all watching you two now. “Jackson…” “Please,” He pleaded, looking up into your eyes. There was so much pain and regret. “I know I should have told you. I know I’m asking a lot from you. But please? I’ll work everything out, just…come. I know you can’t come right now, but maybe later? Quit that job that hurts you and come with me and we’ll find you something better, together. The last ten days have been the best days of my life, and I don’t want to stop seeing you. Or we could meet in a couple weeks, when we’re in New York, so you can go and see your family. Just don’t tell me it’s the end. Don’t you dare tell me you don’t love me because I know you do. You wouldn’t be acting like this if you didn’t love me. You wouldn’t be pushing me away if you didn’t truly want what was best for me.” You let your forehead rest on his. “Of course I love you.” “I love you. So don’t tell me this is over.” “There’s so much in the way. Your fans won’t like—” “I don’t care. I’m not going to let anybody get in the way of being with someone that makes me so happy.” “Jackson—” “No. I love you. That’s it. If I could, I would give it all up for you. I would live wherever you wanted. But I can’t. I have a commitment, and…” “They’re your family. I know. I would never dream of taking you away from your job or your friends. I just…I don’t know Jackson. I don’t like not having a plan, or some sort of security…” He kissed you. It was weird since you were both crying and your noses were stuffed and honestly it was just awkward, but it was still nice because it was with him. “I will be your security.” “No. It’s too soon for that—” “Look, we don’t have time for more arguments. You have my phone number. Just tell me where you’ll come visit me when you decide. If you don’t text me or call me, then I’m going to assume you’re in the hospital. Got it?” You looked into his eyes and saw that he was as serious as the day was long. You kissed him again and nodded. “Got it.” He pulled you into a tight embrace. “I’ve got you.” ——————— You had to be out of your mind, and yet your parents—ever the voices of reason even in the craziest of times—were the ones helping you dive further into the insanity. They supported you when you quit your job, helped you move out of your crappy apartment and into their basement, and were now attending the Got7 concert with you. And it was great. You had delved into the world of K-pop to know some of their songs at least, and so that you could understand what it was he did and they were honestly one of your favorite groups. Their concert was amazing so far and even your father—the most closed-minded to music—was getting into the music and bopping along. You watched Jackson performing, loving him even more for it (it was hard not to). He had a sort of charisma on the stage, focused yet spontaneous. Present and yet so far away. Goofy and serious. He performed diligently, doing all the choreography with what appeared as practiced ease. He seemed more confident than ever. “You all having a good time?!” He asked enthusiastically as they all took a break from performing. The place erupted in cheers, and your mother’s was almost louder than some of the teenage girls around the three of you. Jinyoung was staring in your general direction, looking somewhat confused, then he was smiling and waving and you figured you might have just imagined he was looking your way when he was actually reading one of the signs. Your mother whooped in delight at something BamBam said to the crowd and suddenly you had a feeling that you just threw your parents down a bottomless pit. “Honey, any of these boys will be just fine with me!” Your mom yelled over the crowd to you. “I need one of those flashlights!” You handed her yours (the boys had given it to you at the airport for their little vacation show), turning it on for her. She grinned in delight and you were seriously concerned as she showed your father. “Sweetheart, that one there is Jackson, right?” Your father was leaning over to you behind your mother. You following his hand to where he was pointing and nodded. “Yeah. That’s him.” Since you hadn’t been paying attention, you weren’t quite sure what they were doing, but now that you were looking that them again you realized that Jinyoung and Mark were talking to Jackson. Jackson’s face turned to one of astonishment, then he looked in your direction until his gaze fixed on you. He brought the Mic up to his mouth, then let it drop, before bringing it up again. “We had fun recently, doing a split vacation. Jinyoung, Mark, and I were all in the same group and we went to a bunch of beautiful places and met a bunch of amazing people. Like my dawn.” The breath you didn’t know you had been holding left your throat, and you drew in another, holding it and wondering what he was thinking. “Every day was more beautiful than the one before. Except the last day. That was the worst. We didn’t want to leave, but we knew that our lovely igot7 were waiting for us!” He hyped it up, but you could tell he was still fixated on you. The other boys were smiling and laughing a bit. “Can I trust our lovely igot7 with a secret?” Jackson asked, looking around the place. Son of motherless goat…what was he doing? “Alright, I need all cameras off. I need your help.” He walked across the stage. The other boys seemed to know that this was going to happen. “I’m trusting you,” He said sincerely to the crowds. “Mom, we need to leave.” You grabbed her arm. “What?! But—!” “Alright, everyone, are you ready?” “Yes!” Your mom screamed with everyone else. Traitor. “You all will still love me, even if my love is shared with someone special, right?” He asked, looking out over the crowd. “Aw! You love whoever you want!” Your mom gushed. Your father busted a gut, dropping back into his seat since he knew that Jackson was talking about you—a fact that had apparently slipped your mother’s mind. “There’s this woman, I’m going to call her Dawn. Ever since I saw her, I started imagining my life with her. I want you guys to help me get my dawn up here. My sunlight. She’s here tonight, and I need you guys to help me because I can’t let her get away. I can’t let her be taken away.” He dropped his gaze to the stage. “I need you to love her as much as you love me. She’s scared of dating an idol. I’m scared of losing her.” He had the audience wrapped around his finger, and you had to admit that the way he was approaching this did seem to be the right way. That’s when you noticed that Mark was making his way towards you with the security guards. You had to make a run for it. Just, get out of the isle and run. You weren’t an idiot. You knew someone was still filming even though he asked them not to. Even though he said he trusted them. You certainly didn’t trust them. But you did trust him. Your thoughts delayed you from making your escape. Mark held out his hand for you, grinning. Your mom pushed you. “Go! We’ll see you back at the hotel whenever you decide to return.” You blushed at the implication, as if you weren’t already embarrassed enough, but took Mark’s offered hand and followed him and the security team back to the stage. Thank God you’d had the sense to dress well, and do your hair and makeup. Jackson’s smile as you came up on stage soothed any embarrassment you had though. He looked so excited that you were there. Damn you had missed his smile. Before you knew it, you were in his arms, your face hidden in his shoulder as he thanked the crowd for cheering. There. Right there is where you belonged. Not on the stage—there wasn’t a snowball’s chance in hell you belonged there—but beside him. You felt more whole than you had since he had left. You couldn’t get comfortable at home, or anywhere. You hadn’t been satisfied with anything and had felt restless. Thoughts drifting to him all the time and now you were here. Sure, he smelled a little since he had been dancing and it wasn’t exactly cool in there. His arms went around you while the other boys hyped the crowd up for their next song in a couple minutes. “Come to Korea with me.” You just nodded, not wanting to try and talk about the crowd from there. Or leave your hiding place. He took you backstage and kissed you. “I love you. Don’t go anywhere.” You nodded again. He grinned and ran back out. You leaned in an out of the way place and watched him shine on the world. Yeah, you could get used to this. It seemed like forever and only the blink of an eye before the boys were done with the concert and getting ready to go back to the hotel. You stayed in your spot, afraid of getting in the way. Jackson found you there and kissed you again. “Follow me.” You followed him out to a vehicle where the other members were, and greeted you with teasing smiles thrown at Jackson. “What about your parents?” Mark asked. “I’m meeting them back at the hotel.” “Those were your parents? I want to meet them.” You nodded. “Okay. They really loved the concert by the way. Mom is officially a fan and even Dad seemed to be into it.” Jackson grinned and the other boys seemed pleased at least. The rest of the ride was polite conversation. Then Jackson led you up to his room. “Are they expecting you tonight?” “Not exactly…” You murmured, feeling a little guilty. He smiled. “Let me take a shower, okay? Then we can talk.” He handed you one of his shirts. “Make yourself comfortable.” You met his eyes and smiled a little, but you were almost certain you were blushing again. After he was in the shower, you changed into his shirt and crawled into the bed, burying your face in the comforting scent of him on his pillow. A couple minutes later he crawled into the bed as well, arms wrapping around you and lips pressing kisses to your neck. “Comfy?” “I missed you,” You murmured. He seemed to relax. “I missed you too.” “I quit my job.” “Good.” “I love you.” He grinned and kissed you. “I love you too. Maybe it was fate that you had already liked one of my songs.” “Mmm, sing me to sleep again?” You rolled over so the two of you were spooning. He got comfortable and started softly singing some Chinese song. You could hear the happiness in his voice. In Jackson Wang, you had a permanent happy place. “Marry me,” He whispered. “Okay.”

Masterlist.

#jackson wang #got7 jackson #got7 fic #got7 #readerxjacksonwang #jackson wang x reader #sunlightoffthewaterfic

[xtruss]

Snow hares show changes in their behavior and brain chemistry that appear similar to PTSD in humans (Credit: Jim Cumming/Getty Images)

Do Animals Suffer From Post-Traumatic Stress?

Commonly thought of as a human response to danger, injury and loss, there is growing evidence that many animals show lasting changes in their behaviour after traumatic events. Can they point to an evolutionary source for PTSD?

— Sharon Levy | BBC News

Every few years, snowshoe hare numbers in the Canadian Yukon climb to a peak. As hare populations increase, so do those of their predators, lynx and coyotes. Then the hare population plummets and predators start to die off. The cycle is a famous phenomenon among ecologists and has been studied since the 1920s.

In recent years, though, researchers have come to a startling conclusion – hare numbers fall from their peak not just because predators eat too many of them. There's another factor: chronic stress from living surrounded by killers causes mother hares to eat less food and bear fewer babies. The trauma of living through repeated predator chases triggers lasting changes in brain chemistry that parallel those seen in the brains of traumatised people. Those changes keep the hares from reproducing at normal levels, even after their predators have died off.

And it's not just snowshoe hares, as behavioural ecologists Liana Zanette and Michael Clinchy have shown. Zanette and Clinchy, both at the University of Western Ontario, are a married couple who majored in psychology as undergraduates. Today, they study what they call the ecology of fear, which combines the psychology of trauma with the behavioural ecology of fear in wild animals. They've found that fear of predators can cause other wild mammals and songbirds to bear and raise fewer young. The offspring of frightened voles and song sparrows, like those of stressed snowshoe hares, are less likely to survive to adulthood and succeed in reproducing.

These findings add to a growing body of evidence showing that fearful experiences can have long-lasting effects on wildlife and suggesting that post-traumatic stress disorder, with its intrusive flashback memories, hypervigilance and anxiety, is part of an ancient, evolved response to danger. The work is part of a wider scientific debate over the nature of PTSD and whether it is an evolved response shared among mammals, birds and other creatures, or is unique to humans.

Studies of the ecology of fear started in the 1990s. Before then, scientists assumed that the impact of a predator on an individual prey animal was either deadly or fleeting. If a hare survived a coyote attack, or a zebra escaped the claws of a lion, it would move on and live its life as before.

But research shows that fear can alter the long-term behaviour and physiology of wild animals, from fish to elephants. "Fear is a response all animals mount to avoid being killed by predators," says Zanette. "It's enormously beneficial, because it keeps you alive to breed another day. But it does carry costs."

The reasons to fear are clear. Recent studies have found that up to 32% of adult female giraffes in parts of the Serengeti carry scars from lion attacks, 25% of harbour porpoises in the southern North Sea have claw and bite marks from grey seals and three quarters of manta rays in some African waters bear multiple bite wounds from sharks. These survivors may carry memories of terror along with their physical scars.

Rudy Boonstra, a population ecologist at the University of Toronto, has studied the impacts of extreme stress on the snowshoe hares and other small mammals of the Canadian Yukon since the 1970s. He was inspired by his own family history: Boonstra was born in the Netherlands, where his mother — like many of the Dutch — experienced severe stress during World War Two. "That likely affected her children," he says. "That sense of stress being a relevant factor in our biology was always in the back of my mind."

Boonstra knew that during the decline phase of the snowshoe hare cycle, the great majority of hares are killed by predators. But there turned out to be more to the story. When Boonstra's student, Michael Sheriff, tested faeces of live-caught hares during the rise and fall phases of the population cycle, he found that levels of the stress hormone cortisol in mother hares fluctuated with predator density, peaking when predators were most numerous.

Those highly-stressed mothers, the researchers found, bore fewer, smaller babies. And heightened stress hormone levels were also passed from mothers to daughters, slowing the rates of hare reproduction even after predators had died off and abundant vegetation was available for hares to eat. This explains why the hare population remains low for three to five years after predators have all but vanished from Boonstra's study site.

Animals stressed by many predators spend more time hiding and less time feeding, so they produce fewer young — but that may allow more adult hares to survive to rebuild the population

Early pioneers of stress physiology focused on human problems and viewed such stress responses as pathological, but Boonstra has come to disagree. He sees the response of snowshoe hares as an adaptation that allows the animals to make the best of a bad situation. Animals stressed by many predators spend more time hiding and less time feeding, so they produce fewer young — but that may allow more adult hares to survive to rebuild the population when the cycle starts again.

Fearful experience such as being hunted by predators or humans may leave a long-lasting effects on animals. (Credit: Arctic Images/Getty Images)

Some of the most dramatic impacts of wildlife trauma have been observed in African elephants. Their populations have declined drastically due to poaching, legal culling and habitat loss. Undisturbed elephants live in extended family groups ruled by matriarchs, with males departing when they reach puberty. Today, many surviving elephants have witnessed their mothers and aunts slaughtered before their eyes. A combination of early trauma and the lack of stable families that would ordinarily be anchored by elder elephants has resulted in orphaned elephants running amok as they grow into adolescence.

"There are interesting parallels between what we see in humans and elephants," says Graeme Shannon, a behavioural ecologist at Bangor University in Wales who studies the African elephant. Trauma in childhood and the lack of a stable family are major risk factors for PTSD in people. And among elephants who've experienced trauma, Shannon notes, "we're seeing a radical change in their development and their behaviour as they mature". Elephants can remain on high alert years after a terrifying experience, he says, and react with heightened aggression.

Shannon experienced this first-hand when he and his colleagues were following a herd of elephants in South Africa's Pongola Game Reserve. The researchers kept their car at a respectful distance. But when they rounded a curve, Buga, the herd’s matriarch, stood blocking the road. The driver immediately turned off the engine, which generally causes elephants to move on peaceably. Instead, Buga charged the car. "Next thing we knew, the car was upside down and we were running," remembers Shannon. Buga's extreme reaction, he suspects, was linked to trauma she experienced when she was captured and relocated six years earlier.

Human responses to danger, injury and loss are likely part of this same evolved set of responses. A vast body of evidence shows that the brains of mice, men — in fact, all mammals and birds, fish, even some invertebrates — share a common basic structure, and common responses to terror or joy. The brain circuitry that signals fear and holds memories of terrifying events lies in the amygdala, a structure that evolved long before hominids with bulging forebrains came into being.

Many adult giraffes bear the scars from lions, but these encounters may leave non-physical marks too (Credit: BiosPhoto/Alamy)

Most modern people with PTSD have been traumatised in combat or during a criminal attack or a car crash. But the intrusive memories of trauma, the constant state of alarm that can wear down the body's defences and lead to physical illness — these arise from the same ancient brain circuits that keep the snowshoe hare on the lookout for hungry lynx, or the giraffe alert for lions.

The amygdala creates emotional memories, and has an important connection to the hippocampus, which forms conscious memories of everyday events and stores them in different areas of the brain. People or other animals with damaged amygdalae can't remember the feeling of fear, and so fail to avoid danger.

Brain imaging studies have shown that people with PTSD have less volume in their hippocampus, a sign that neurogenesis — the growth of new neurons — is impaired. Neurogenesis is essential to the process of forgetting, or putting memories into perspective. When this process is inhibited, the memory of trauma becomes engraved in the mind. This is why people with PTSD are haunted by vivid memories of an ordeal long after they've reached safety.

In a similar manner, fear of predators suppresses neurogenesis in lab rats. And Zanette and Clinchy are demonstrating that the same pattern holds in wild creatures living in their native habitats.

The scientists began by broadcasting the calls of hawks in a forest and found that nesting female song sparrows that heard the calls produced 40% fewer live offspring than those that did not. In later experiments, they showed that brown-headed cowbirds and black-capped chickadees that heard predator calls showed enduring neurochemical changes due to fear a full week later. The cowbirds had lowered levels of doublecortin, a marker for the birth of new neurons, in both the amygdala and hippocampus.

Repeated chases by predators can alter snowshoe hare behaviour and lead them to have fewer young (Credit: Tom Brakefield/Getty Images)

The same pattern has been shown in wild mice and in fish living with high levels of predator threat. These neurochemical signals parallel those seen in rodent models of PTSD that researchers have long used to understand the syndrome in humans.

Despite the mounting evidence that a wide range of animals experience long-term impacts of extreme stress, many psychologists still see PTSD as a uniquely human problem. "PTSD is defined in terms of human responses," says David Diamond, a neurobiologist at the University of South Florida. "There is no biological measure — you can't get a blood test that says someone has PTSD. This is a psychological disease, and that's why I call it a human disorder. Because a rat can't tell you how it feels."

Some researchers now disagree with this human-centric view of PTSD, however. "A lot of things are shared between humans and other mammals," says Sarah Mathew, an evolutionary anthropologist at Arizona State University. This includes learning about and responding to danger, and avoiding situations that present life-threatening risks. Mathew believes that PTSD has deep evolutionary roots, and that some of its symptoms arise from adaptations — like a heightened state of alert — that allow individuals of many species, including our own, to manage danger.

This evolutionary perspective is beginning to change minds. Clinchy and Zanette have organized conferences on the ecology of fear and PTSD that bring together ecologists, psychiatrists and psychologists. "The psychiatrists and psychologists were talking about PTSD as maladaptive," recalls Clinchy. "We were arguing that this is an adaptive behaviour, to show these extreme reactions in this particular context, because that increases your survival."

Diamond came to agree. The brain of someone with PTSD, he says, "is not a damaged or dysfunctional brain, but an overprotective brain".

"You're talking about someone that has survived an attack on his or her life," he adds. "So the hypervigilance, the inability to sleep, the persistent nightmares that cause the person to relive the trauma — this is part of an adaptive response gone awry."

"There's a stigma involved in PTSD, frequently," says Zanette, "so people don't seek treatment. But if patients can understand that their symptoms are perfectly normal, that there is an evolutionary function for their symptoms, this might relieve some of the stigma around it so that people might go and seek treatment."

* This article originally appeared in Knowable Magazine, and is republished under a Creative Commons licence.

[totallyrealhoroscopesdaily]

1/1/2018 Horoscope

Aries: Death sends you a selfie of him looking comically sad and you snap. You call him and you barely wait for him to pick up before you start your rant because god damn it how could he not care this wasn’t some random person this was a little girl and she wanted to grow up to be a nurse because she wanted to cheer up other sick kids like the nurses always did and she had a phase where everything had to be either red or orange and she had a family who loved her very much and her dad always gave you commiserating looks if one of the other kids asked for something impossible or tried to tug your fake beard and oh gods how are you going to face him well shit never mind you’ll never see him again because he definitely won’t be at the hospital now that his daughter is fucking dead why would you see him again but she had so many people who loved her and she loved so many people and she had a future she was so bright maybe she would have cured cancer or changed the world but she’s gone now she’s GONE and she’s never coming back and fuck- You trail off and wipe at your eyes. Your hand stings from hitting the table at some point. Death’s been quiet, just letting you ramble on. After you’re silent but for sniffling for another minute, he gently asks if you’re okay. You hang up.

Taurus: You’re scattered and flying, running, rocketing around in a twisty, twirly, angular pattern that has no pattern. You’re a million and you’re one and you’re laughing crying screaming singing. You rot the wallpaper and it sprouts into greenery and the floor bucks and heaves and opens and closes and the furniture is your dancing partner is your prey to hunt is your predator to hide from is your machine to build is your meaningless possessions. You’re light and you’re sound and you’re feeling and you’re taste and you’re thoughts and you’re empty empty empty and you’re so much of everything and you’re too much to hold and you’re not enough at all. When the sun starts to rise you coalesce, condense back into something solid and you’re you but not, you but shifted a few notches out of place while also being completely new. You open your eyes again and you’re back, but you’re gone forever. Well, goodbye to the old you, you think to yourself with a shark’s grin. You shed it like old skin. You’re still jittery, pieces shaking and vibrating out of sync. You’ll settle further over the course of the day, but for now you take out your excess energy on your house. You taste purple on your tongue and bones ring in your ears. This’ll be a good year.

Gemini: The woman is outside your apartment building. She stares, unblinking and unmoving, up at your window from across the street. You shudder and pull the blinds closed. Kcirederf congratulates you on bringing the danger home, because that was just what you all needed. You tell him to cut the sass, you know you fucked up.

Cancer: You two somehow manage to get onto the roof. It’s freezing cold, because of course it is, it’s snowing. It passed midnight a while ago and this is the most sober New Year’s you’ve had. You can’t see the stars, too much light pollution, but you can see the moon and the citylights and that’s close enough. You and Ridali playfully debate whether the moon is made of cheese and what cheese it would be if it were. You heard somewhere that whatever you spend the first day of the year doing is what you’ll do the rest of the year, and if that’s true, then you wouldn’t mind spending the rest of the year like this, goofing around with a good friend. 

Leo: You’re barely conscious of the bell tolling midnight before Fira’s lips are on yours. She tastes like heat and then it’s over and she’s laughing into your shoulder that it’s good luck to kiss someone at midnight. You aren’t complaining, then you twirl her giggly self around and the room is spinning, you think you had too many drinks. An unknown amount of time passes, but the party’s winding down and the sun is rising, so you gather up Fira and Georgie and Hazel and start trying to make your way home. You make up a barely upright mess of limbs, Hazel is draped across Georgie’s shoulder and Fira’s across yours and you’re trying to steer Georgie because somehow you ended up the most sober out of the 4 of you (that can drink because the foot can’t so it doesn’t count) and you must make up quite the sight as you work your way back. You somehow make it to your house and Georgie throws herself and Hazel onto your couch and then they’re out like a light. Fira is attempting to kiss your neck, but it’s more like mouthing. She is way too drunk. You put her in your bed, then yank a blanket down and crash on the floor, hugging the foot’s bag like a teddy bear. 

Virgo: You force yourself to get up and clean your house. It’s bad luck to start out the year with a dirty home and you don’t need anymore bad luck. It’s exhausting in a way that has nothing to do with the work, but it feels better to not have filthy surroundings. You debate going to do something while you’re up, but ultimately dismiss the idea. You curl up in a corner of your sofa and don’t move.

Libra: Makani passed out long before midnight. You asked Kaimana if she wants to take him home like that, she said she waited this long, she might as well wait the little bit longer and do the ritual. You and her chatted absently. Now it’s the new year and Kaimana is pouring the dregs of her tea onto the ritual circle drawn in chalk on your floor, which is gonna be annoying to clean up. She sees your look and explains she should really be using seawater but this should work. Then she turns back to it, chants some words that kinda sound like frying butter smells, which causes a glowing orb of light to rise up from the ritual circle. You have to look away when it flashes, and when you look back, the tea, orb, and ritual circle are gone and Kaimana is picking up Makani from where he’s curled up. He mumbles a bit as she settles him on your hip. She wishes you a happy New Year and leaves, and you’re left with the smell of a spring breeze permeating your backroom.

Scorpio: Ohthankeverydeitythatmortalshaveeverprayedtoyou’reawake! Shit, no, don’t get up, you’ll tear your stitches! You’re in the hospital. Breathe. What do you need? Water, you need water, you’re thirsty, of course you’re thirsty, you’ve been out for a day, I should have realized that. Look, there, beside you, there’s a thingy to call for a nurse. They can get you water and you should probably let them know you’re awake, anyway. What- No, you won’t bother them. This is their job and you’re injured- What are you doing?! Lay back down, shit- Okay, don’t move, you’ll only hurt yourself worse. Oh good, here’s a nurse to get you back into bed. You’re injured, it’s okay to need help. 

Sagittarius: The sane person support group is sharing a drink on your porch, because holy shit, but what a year. Helen shrugs a toast to a hopefully less weird year, which is a hopeless wish, and you all second it. Then Brittany toasts the unblinking eye in your kitchen, which prompts a round of laughter followed by increasingly ridiculous toasts. There’s way too much happening right now, but you all take a collective truce to pretend shit is fine for right now. This might bite you in the ass, but that’s a problem for future you to deal with.

Capricorn: The enchantress kicks you and Aiden out but keeps Fluffy with her, citing that she needs some time to work. Aiden seems worried for Fluffy, but you know the weight of someone’s word in the magical community, so you shrug and walk off. You show Aiden around the little town, grabbing lunch in this fantastic sandwich shop. It’s a wonderful thing to have a conversation you can honestly be surprised by and reactions you can’t predict. Wonderful, and a little anxiety inducing, but you have years of not giving a shit as a buffer and Aiden seems more anxious than you, anyway. A clerk snottily comments on how you really shouldn’t let your daughter dress like that, people might mistake her for a boy. Aiden shrinks down, which you’re not having, at all. You smile with too many teeth to be strictly friendly and inform the clerk, in your sweetest voice, that how your son dresses is of no concern to them and they can go shove their unwanted opinions up their ass. While the clerk is too stunned to respond, You drag a shocked Aiden out after you for a grand getaway. You’re ranting to him about stupid people and their stupid opinions and maybe they should get him a nice haircut, when he quietly says that you called him your son, which brings you up short, because, wow, that might be the first time you’ve said that out loud. You confirm it and ask if that’s okay. The pause that follows gets you the closest to wishing you could read the script for Aiden as you’ve ever been. He finally smiles and says it’s fine, and he’d like that haircut.

Aquarius: You follow your routine. You’re glad for your hat and mittens, as it’s cold. Suzy wishes you a happy New Year, which is how you learn it’s a new year, and laughs about how her gym is going to be really busy for about 2 weeks. You smile along, an involuntary reaction.

Pisces: You watch our father rise for the first time of this year. For him, this is meaningless, dear daughter, time has no grand meaning. You choose to find meaning in it, anyway, which is wonderful. You’re very tired, and you don’t have a solution for that, but for this moment you have peace. 

#zodiac #horoscope #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #totallyrealhoroscopesdaily

[nephyartis]

“The Right Frequency”

Our Archaic Age

I see lots of conflation and ignorance surrounding the topics of Power Words, Runes, Glyphs, Sigils, Wands, and Wyrdstones. I hope this text will help clarify some of it.

First, some terms. Rune. Glyph. Sigil. Runic Languages, which to say, languages associated with a script (often in addition to a non-runic script), are also often called Languages of Power. A rune in-and-of-itself is a sort of pictogram, representing related physical and meta-physical ideals. It’s a building block. Glyphs, on the other hand, are like compound words, or more nuanced building blocks. A glyph referencing the Tiger animal would be derivative of the basic rune for Beast, as an example. So for what runes are the basic words, and glyphs are the compound words, Sigils are the slang. A sigil will contain elements of runes or glyphs, but expressed in a personalized manner, often for the sake of identification. Different runic systems (languages) do exist, though, which presents some important distinctions.

Primordial, Supernal, The Elder Language, the Language of Creation. Call it what you will, they are all the same. There are vibrational patterns that comprise the nature of existence. They bear personality--mental traits. By mimicking these vibrations, and mental states, we may illicit changes in the world, all working through The Medium--the field of interaction between physical and meta-matter, that so many call the Weave. All languages of power are derivative of this original system. To glimpse it is a task of great difficulty, which is why divination is often used to expand one’s mental faculties, just to grasp the concepts wholly. On the conceptual, abstract, and divine, there is the Dethek Language Branch. On the mechanical, definitive, and arcane, there is the Iokharic Language Branch. Of special note, there have been systems that attempted to mix the two, such as the Seldruin, an arcane system composed with respect for the divine, but that is not the topic I hope to address.

The cultures and creatures that popularized these languages lend credence to the ideals they represent. The origin of species: warring elementals of crude matter, before the specialization of complex life--these creatures, such as Djinn with their reality warping wishes--they warred across the cosmos seeking places of higher potential, creating form from chaos. Crude, raw, powerful. Then in time complex life formed. The creator races were born. They grasped The Language, and further complexity, but they did not create worlds, like the elementals did. Great empires forming afterward, ever more derivative of the last. More complex, but in complexity, one sacrifices potential. Giants, Dragons, then Elves. Each came and created their own derivative systems, yet only two flourish to this day. The Giants and the Dragons. Of those two, it seems to me global culture has strayed, perhaps too far, into the arcane--the material--the Dragon--and in its cry for more--subconsciously aware of its own shortcomings--it has accepted falsehoods and niceties in place of reality and hard truth.

While scholars have debated whether Iokharic was influenced by Dethek, or if it were the other way around, I will posit that this is the wrong question. They share commonalities because they are inspired by--derivative of--the same root system. The universal language. As language has progressed, however, ever more nuanced, it has gained the ability to express more-and-more complex ideas, at the cost of its potency, much like the races that practice it. Each one branches out of those that came before, in a great tree of life. This is not to say that I believe movement along the branches is impossible, but that’s a topic for another time.

Compare both Iokharic and Dethek runes. Knowing their script will greatly assist. For that matter, compare the runic forms of any language. Those two are simply the most widespread. While there are differences, their similarities are key to understanding the pervasive narrative of our universe. Lake, Water, Ocean, Tide, Mutability, Longing, Gulf. A nuanced rune (also called a Glyph, or Hanzi) will appear visually similar to other like-minded runes, because their meanings are related. Shark will resemble Fish, which resembles Water. This holds true with all runes. They represent things, which in and of themselves, contain mental traits. These mental traits correspond to a certain vibrational frequency. Now compare the vibrations. The sound. The practice. Follow it up the linguistic tree, and watch it evolve. You will start hearing very familiar phonemes while on the same branch. It’s not until one reaches the Big Three, that language diverges greatly. Dethek, Draconic, and Elvish, respectively. Despite these apparent differences, though, their runes address and link the same ideals and frequencies.

Still, their differences are not unimportant. Dethek runes, like the cultures that popularized them, are grounded in the divine. They focus more on the intent, meaning, or associated mental traits, rather than physical measurements. The giants’ Ordning, dwarven paragons, human belief. There is a narrative beneath it all. Old churches of yore were cautious of science (read, arcane), and the pride of intellect. It was for good reason, even if it became misguided. One need not look far to see its dangers displayed in Dragons. Even the most noble among them face temptation in the face of ignorance or wealth. Primates in particular have evolved with a phrenology primed to notice serpentine figures, for the danger they pose is legendary. It is a story that our very blood cries out.

One can look at the spread of human language to see its influences, and trace its lineage along these branches. Often, mixing the two properties. Chessan, Raumtheran, Thorass, and Waelan, all take influence from dwarves (who took influence from Jotun), from the gods, or directly from Jotun. For some it’s harder to follow, such as the Untheric, Han, or Rauric languages (for that matter, any influenced by Netheril or Imaskar). The Netherese, first introduced to the Art by elves, then later for themselves with the great golden scales, became increasingly Iokharic. Likewise, their people, arcane. Independently, the same can be seen with Kara-Tur, and the Rauric (Imaskar, Thay) languages. Their cultures, while divine at first, made course along the arcane, increasingly adopting Iokharic methods.

Time for a closer look at Iokharic. The methodical. The measured. The arcane. These are focussed on what physical phenomena are represented, by the universe’s pervasive narrative. Iokharic is to Dethek, what Alchemy is to Herbalism, and what Intelligence is to Wisdom (Seldruin is the Charisma of the group, which muddies the picture a bit). Yet look at the great empires that rose in its wake, each pragmatic and worldly. The Dragons. The Elves. Netheril. Thay. Each has contributed greatly to the advancement of the sciences, and revolutionized the way we live. But left unchecked, history shows that innovation will be its own undoing. I do not intend to say arcane magic is wrong, or that it should not be practiced. Merely, that there is a balance in all things. Even the divine, and the arcane. Their balance--their synthesis--is godhood. It’s otherworldly. It is true divinity. It is that which lay closest to understanding the universal system. Magic Circles are often a good example of this, combining both practices.

At this point, let’s point out various ways these concepts can be utilized. Take Wyrdstones, for example. Primordial and awesome in power, they are still crude. While it cannot be said precisely, I would place their original creation prior to the divergence of language. One need only channel their intent to realize the potential held within Wyrdstones. Any symbols they hold are lost on the limited perspective of our minds. So following the route previously stated, this would suggest Wyrdstones to be very near the universal language, as one does not need to infer a narrative, nor discern a practice. Wyrdstones are more whole. Intrinsic. Dwarven runestones, on the other hand, tell stories, and those stories often possess a weaker, but more nuanced power. The corresponding flow of mental traits are their key importance. While on the other hand, Iokharic runes are measured and precise, constructed meticulously, and often with more material affect. They pay less heed to the overarching story, and more to its physical events. The reliable power achieved in this way is often very attractive to aspiring mages, which likely goes without saying. To which I point out again, and caution against, the Pride of Intellect.

The differences between these systems also aids in understanding how to use more complex magical items. Arcane wands, for example, require practical understanding. How to stand, what frequency to embody, and how. Whereas with divine wands, empathetic understanding is necessary. You must respect, emulate, and believe, the energies being channeled. Posture and tone become much less important. Of course, one could also just practice through intuition how to use magical devices, but such a skill only gets you so far.

Last but not least, bringing this to an end, I’m sure some will have thought by now, “What about the planar languages?” It becomes very difficult to say. We could speculate, for example, that Infernal aligns more arcane than divine. The ideas they espouse, and association with Tiamat, along with present day cultures (such as Thay) align enough to suggest it is true. However, there are two important dynamics to note. The gods are shaped by our cultivated belief. I have little doubt that their language could be as well, and that their language might evolve over time. Moreover, as previously described, godhood is a state of existence both arcane and divine, so at the very least it cannot be said that planar runes are wholly one or the other. They surely emphasize both practices, which is what makes them deific in the first place. It’s with these things in mind that it becomes very hard to pin-down planar languages. Combine that with the fact that they are obviously very far away from us, studying them becomes difficult. This is why I have focussed on a more grounded history of language. The planar systems are undoubtedly very close to the universal system, as far as origins go, but to what degree they still resemble it, may be impossible to say.

What I can say is that it’s time we stopped living in an age of ignorance.

#writtensamples #worldbuilding #sneak peak at something I've been working on

[mysticandskepticmuses]

Below you will find the verse summaries / write-ups for my characters in a modern verse, political based, tying in with the political verse of @magicandsciencemuses and Liz’s muses there. The adaptations are primarily written / made for writing with Liz but if there is anyone that would like to write w/ these adapted modern versions of any characters I’m open to discussions about it.  It would be separate from the world build with Liz unless all parties were okay with it affecting the private group plot as a whole.   These are all ending up paragraphs or so, so I’m dropping it beneath the cut.  Currently a WIP.  Subject to change as I work things out w/ Liz etc.

Alice Mortania.  True to form, Alice is a small time grifter, occasional sex worker and tends to roam and travel a lot to wherever she can make a quick buck and stay clear of whatever trouble is at her heels.  However, she’s currently forcing herself to stick around Washington, despite all of her instincts that say run, after one of her close friends and fellow sex worker was found murdered; all signs point to someone in the current running campaign and Alice is determined to do whatever it takes to find out who was responsible for her friend’s death and make them pay, one way or another.  Ties in to:  Elias Ryker, detective who is investigating her friend’s murder; William Conway, the front runner in the competition ( possible suspect ); Rupert Giles, current elect ( possible suspect ).  

Amanda Waller. Having devoted the majority of her life to public service, Waller has set her eyes on a position on the Presidential Cabinet, Secretary of the Department of Defense and she will do whatever it takes to get it - in turn, she’s happy to do whatever it takes to get the candidate elected that will back her and ensure her this position once they have been sworn in.  She has no qualms using violence, blackmail, leverage of any kind to get what she needs.   She’s served as head of a highly classified counterintelligence division for the last twelve years, served in civil service for a decade before that and has racked up a number of favors owed over the years – as well as a whole lot of buried secrets that she wants to keep that way.  Ties in to:  to be determined.  ( Conway or Giles most likely. )

Belle Duponte.  Belle struggles to find ways to support herself and her father: once a renowned scientist, her father now suffers from depression and has drowned himself (and in turn her) with debt from loans, both personal and small business loans, and he has now turned to gambling and incurring debts from various loan sharks in the DC area, leaving her to bear the brunt of trying to keep him above water and in one piece, physically and mentally.   She finds herself trapped in a position by one of the more dangerous of the people her father owes and has been leveraged into finding a way into the good graces (by any means necessary) of one of the men vying for President.  She currently volunteers in his campaign office and is feeding small tidbits back to her handler, and is being pressured to get up close and personal, sooner rather than later. [ aka honeypot. ] Ties in to:  ( Giles or Conway. tbd. )

Carl Hickman.  Once a decorated NYPD detective with one of the highest solve percentages in the history of the PD, Hickman was forced out of the department after an injury on the job made him incapable of handling a firearm etc. and for several years, due to the sour nature of his departure, his personal vendetta, issues with trauma and a developing morphine addiction due to the nature of his injury, Hickman vanished from the public eye.  In recent months, however, he has been seen back in the states, working as a security and protection detail consultant for a Presidential candidate.  Ties into: to be determined.  Claire Dearing ( campaign manager for the candidate he works for. )

Jemma Barnes.  ( short version: decorated member of the military, long family history of military service above and beyond, currently serving as a member of the secret service / travels with giles. )

June Moone.  ( short version: daughter of the current ambassador for the us. )

Kristin Ortega.  A member of the DCPD, Kristin is a homicide detective, following in the footsteps of her father.   Currently a partner of Elias Ryker, she is more than a little busy balancing a heavy case load and what passes for a personal life; between concern for her partner’s well being as he delves into a homicide with ties to the current political debates, she’s also struggling with trying to come to a decision in terms of her faith which is causing strife with her mother and family.  Her increasing frustrations with the corruption in the police department itself is causing a rift between herself and other officers, including her captain whom she suspects is on the take and in the pocket of one of the presidential candidates and as a whole, her life feels like it’s teetering on the edge of imminent disaster.  Ties in to: Elias Ryker.

Laurel Isley.  Daughter of one of the blue blood high society political families of Washington, Laurel is manipulative, deadly and sweet as sugar on the surface.  She’s walked the walk, she talks the talk: from a young age she showed remarkable intellectual acuity, seemed to play well with others, a natural leader; heavily involved in extracurricular activities, volunteered with outreach programs in high school and onward, organizes fundraisers through her family and schools, attended and graduated summa cum laude at her Ivy League university a year early.  Currently works as an administrative assistant to [ insert political job here ] and volunteers after work hours and weekends for one of the presidential candidates.  TIes in to: Claire Dearing, Saori Leons, Carl Hickman.

Rori Dearing. ( short version, political activist, has been branded an ‘eco-terrorist’, alternates between flying under the radar and making a nuisance of herself; involved w/ william conway. )

Saori Leons.  Saori is the daughter of a war hero, Colonel Edward Franklin Dearing, a decorated three-star general who has served for the majority of his life before finally retiring three years ago.  Her family is a  blue blood political elite from Georgia and Saori is running for office against William Conway and Rupert Giles.  She is running as an independent. Saori is also the twin of Rori Dearing; has not denied her familial ties but does what she can to assure the general populace etc. that while she loves and supports her sister, she does not support Rori’s illegal activities and actively discourages any violence or illegal actions of any kind, no matter the cause or end goal.  Ties in to:  Rori Dearing, (Claire Dearing as sibling?), William Conway, Rupert Giles.

Shelly Webster.  A victim of sexual assault and violence; Her fiancee was killed the night before their wedding and she was raped and severely beaten and left for dead.  She has become an advocate and a voice for victims of violence and assault.  She runs an outreach program and shelter for runaway teens and has been a very vocal advocate of finding the truth of what happened to the latest victim (the one Elias is investigating) of violence in the city, especially with the rumors that it is being covered up by a current political candidate.  Ties in to: Elias Ryker.

Trinity.  While her real identity is unknown even to the agencies that have been investigating her for years now, Trinity is a hacker who focuses on revealing the dirty little secrets that the government wants to keep hidden: back door deals, bribes, policy changes that are slid in under the radar, misdeeds done by those in office or running for office, military incursions on foreign soil, acts of domestic of foreign terrorism, assassinations and or coups funded by the United States or given support by the US government and military forces. Anything and everything in an attempt to ensure actual transparency.  Ties in to: Root.

#VERSE. #TO BE EDITED. #DO NOT REBLOG.

[literateape]

The Long Road to the Trump Presidency and Where We Go From Here

By Don Hall

Imagine sitting down in your living room to watch the first televised presidential debate. Depending on which side you were on — Richard Nixon for the Old Guard conservatives, John Kennedy for the Young Progressive liberals — it was either going to be a complete ass-kicking by a long-time political beast or a breath of fresh air by the youngest candidate in recent history.

If you were in that new audience of television viewers, what you saw was the very beginnings of media chipping away at the intellectual strength of our democracy. You witnessed the first time when good looks and charisma on a mass-cult scale beat facts and acumen to nothing more than likability.

Read the transcript. Divorce yourself from the televised spectacle and Nixon’s flop sweat. He presented better arguments, better answers and demonstrated a genuine knowledge of how things worked. Kennedy reads like he was exactly who he was — a neophyte from a family legacy.

Yet almost completely due to the new media that emphasized looks and poise over knowledge and experience, the nation watched and crowned Kennedy the winner of both the debate and the presidency.

Television had changed everything.

The Vietnam conflict was the first war broadcast into the homes of Americans. Not just the propaganda newsreels of WWII or Korea but the actual images of children being napalmed and American soldiers having their legs blown off. The effect was tremendous in that kids seeing the destructive force of warmongering anti-Communist paranoia caused them to mobilize and protest on a mass scale during the conflict.

It is worth noting that while television indelibly damaged our democracy’s leadership races, it changed the way the population viewed American exceptionalism and her imperialist tendencies. The new media (at the time) was both destructive and constructive in separate turns.

Film has had the same such affect upon the masses. Films made during the Blacklist times of Senator Joseph McCarthy appealed to both those still in thrall to the propaganda of WWII as well as offering more subversive messages about the dark power of censorship and government overreach. On one hand we had John Wayne in The Green Berets and Frank Sinatra in The Manchurian Candidate; on the other we had Elia Karan’s On the Waterfront and Herbert Biberman’s Salt of the Earth.

In the '70s, film took an even more activist approach with movies that continued to destroy the myths of war via the Vietnam Conflict by focusing on the horrors of it (Full Metal Jacket and The Deer Hunter) as well as the difficulties of being a veteran of that war with little or no support (Coming Home). Tackling the environmental concerns of the day were Silkwood and The China Syndrome; police corruption (Serpico); protest culture (Zabriskie Point, The Conformist); and a general distrust of authority (One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, A Clockwork Orange.)

At roughly the same time, videotape technology began making it’s way into homes, and the process of separating movies from community events to individual preferences as well as the free exchange of copied tapes opened new doors for pop culture.

In 1980 came the continuation of that ill-fated first televised debate with the new 24-hour Cable News Network effectively forcing journalists to find news in the most mundane and banal events as well as begin spinning news to keep advertisers happy. It is not without irony to note that this lead-up to an infotainment style of reporting was ushered in in the same year the country elected a B-movie actor turned California governor to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

The '80s saw a growing list of films about gay rights, nuclear war and civil rights while at the same time promoting anti-gay and misogynist humor. Cable news became a parody of itself and the FOX network was founded in 1986 (although it’s pernicious news arm didn’t launch for another decade.) In 1990, the ARPENET was decommissioned and the internet as we know it was dropped upon a public completely unprepared for it.

VHS was abandoned for CDs. Home computers became commonplace. Personal devices designed to individualize musical tastes and further distance one person from another, creating tinier and tinier bubbles of consumption were all the rage.

Meanwhile, electoral politics became more and more influenced by the work of ad-men and saw candidate Bill Clinton playing saxophone on The Arsenio Hall Show. The monster that is the Celebrity Politician really started flexing his popularity in the late '80s and '90s and, Holy Shit, was he itching for the unfettered, unregulated, Wild West show that was the World Wide Web.

Imagine sitting down in front of a computer screen, logging onto the internet with a modem that squawked like a digital hog being slaughtered, and hearing that chipper “You’ve Got Mail!” You check your mail — a couple of ads for CD-ROMS, a message from a co-worker as geeked out as you are about the instant communication of this 2400 baud device, another ad about NewtonMail and an invite to a ListServ.

You click that link and in an impressive three minutes of download time, you’re on.

On the ListServ (a prehistoric version of Faceborg and Twitter) you find a thread espousing the new GOP-driven “Contract with America.” Users with fake names espousing the “Taking Back Our Streets Act” and the “Personal Responsibility Act” and conspiracy theories about President Bill Clinton and his “manly” first lady.

“Who pays attention to this shit?” you ask yourself after perusing the thread for three hours. The irony is lost on you.

As the internet became more evolved and connection rates got faster, as the devices became smaller and more powerful, as the platforms became more pervasive and asked less and less personal accountability for what what written, the spiraling cascade, like the Skynet of James Cameron, grew to an unstoppable informational force. It was ready for abuse. It was ready to change us indelibly.

A couple of things to chew on:

Faceborg is 14 years old. It debuted in 2004. Twitter is 12 years old. The iPhone is 11 years old.

77 percent of Americans own smartphones. Faceborg has 1.8 BILLION users. Twitter has 327 MILLION users.

In 1960, during the Nixon/Kennedy debate, only 47 million households had televisions.

So, here we are. A sub-par reality TV star as or president. So easy to hate. So easy to blame everyone else.

When celebrity and fame become the coin of the realm, is it really any big surprise?

This isn’t a polemic about the dangers of technology. Technology is not dangerous, it is a tool. Atomic energy is not dangerous. What we do with it is. Guns are not dangerous. The assholes who use them to mow down innocent civilians are. It isn’t television’s fault we so wholeheartedly were convinced that the good-looking young TV-friendly candidate beat the paranoid, anti-Communist politician who looked like shit on the box.

Media is not dangerous but our awe-inspiring, numb-fucked gullibility is a giant shark-infested moat surrounding us at every turn. And these sharks have lasers and extra teeth and, like a NASCAR jacket, are covered with corporate logos.

The flipside is that without the internet, without this unbelievable communicating power, there would be no #BlackLivesMatter or #MeToo. There would be millions still left in the dark as the oligarchy marched through the village with impunity. Due, in part to the internet, there is now more equity in Hollywood, on television, on cable. More black and brown faces telling stories we need to hear. More democracy at work in who gets to make movies.

What do we do? How do we avoid allowing our worse natures use the technology at our disposal in ways that threaten to destroy the fabric of our democracy?

1. Give the news two days before you jump in.

The internet has created a race for first when it comes to reporting. School shooting? Wait two days before you ingest the noise. Trump fires another corrupt shitstain on Twitter? Wait before you read. Do not cede control of the information to those less interested in accuracy and more interested in winning the scoop.

2. Refuse to resort to the tactics of those whom you despise.

Fight fire with fire was a saying coined by a fucking arsonist. Go with the much better adage “Tweet others as you would be tweeted.” Sure, it’s fun to participate in the online pile-up, the masscult public shaming, but it truly makes you exactly like the squalid bullies you endured in high school. Exactly the same but with all of your teeth and without the brutal alcoholic step-father.

3. Learn to fast.

There is a genuine benefit from taking a break from those things that consume us. Fasting doesn’t have to be 40 days and 40 nights — you are the Savior, dimwit. Take a day and turn your phone off and leave it in a drawer next to your weed and gummy bears. Read an actual book. Talk to other human beings face-to-face, especially those whom you may think disagree with you on something.

Use social media. Don’t let it use you.

4. Read three articles on anything from three completely different sources before you form an opinion.

“The opinion of the intelligent outweighs the certainty of the ignorant.”

If my guess is correct (and fer crissakes, I hope not) Trump will be our president until 2024. While not all of us made it through the lost decade of George W. Bush, plenty did. The prospect of eight years of the orange tweetdick is horrifying but there are far worse than him waiting in the wings, hoping we don’t wise up to the fact that celebrity, money and fame are not congruent with the ability to soberly lead a nation (or even the local school council, for that matter).

We don’t need more information these days. We need to understand how to use it.

#Nixon/Kennedy Debate #television #media #internet #Faceborg #Twitter #Trumpfuckenstein #film #news #Vietnam