#they're still simmering

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

excuse me i need to Muse on something for a moment

so in Wally's secret 'vinyl' audios, specifically the last few (if we're listening to em in chronological order), obviously he starts to sound more strained/distressed. his breathing is more labored, like it's taking all of his energy to make contact.

but the audio that really caught my attention was the "But i still can't see" one. cause he just said he has more eyes than he did before. he knows We draw them a lot, and it's thanks to that that he can see. but he still can't see?

so my question is: where is Wally physically? cause although he can (assumedly) see the WHRP goings on, he can see through the eyes We draw, that could all be on a, uh... more Intangible level of sight. like the spiral pit is forming an eye, and then there's the eye on the ceiling in the secret Staff Only section - could Wally be in the pit, that space between his reality and Ours, "watching" through the eyes? but unable to actually see with due to the pit being pitch black nothingness? is he somewhere else? is he stuck? he can see, but he can't... see.

(or is he trying to explain an abstract concept - he's not actually viewing anything, but he can sense it. like how he knows We're there, even if he can't see or hear Us. but he just doesn't have the words to describe it other than using physical senses - see, hear, look.)

and him saying "...that I can see. But it is still... I can't..." but it's still what, Wally? dark? something else that he doesn't have the words to describe, so he just says that he can't see?

i know that in the Livestream Trivia Document (compiled by @/the neighborhoodwatch) there was something said about Wally being in a box. my first thought reading that was "oh, so he's in storage? the physical puppet, i mean?" which would make sense - show's over, there's no more use for him. pack 'em up and put him away. but that paired with the "can't see" audio makes both seem a lil... connected.

Wally can't see > he's likely somewhere dark > the inside of closed boxes are dark > Wally's in a box. (or maybe the Neighborhood is the box? it's a stretch, i know, but the map is a box. television sets are often set up in "boxes". maybe it's less of a physical storage box and more of a 'boxed in' sort of thing...)

one question i've had since the Start of my interest in this incredible project is: how is Wally communicating? how has he connected to the site? how does he connect to our reality? the pit almost definitely has something to do with it - most likely acting as a bridge, or the deteriorating of the barrier between our two 'worlds' - but if Wally is in a box and Not the pit or even just in the puppet's reality... how is he reaching us beyond just seeing through the eyes he's given?

or is he in their reality, and he can contact through the pit or something, but he can't actually see the other side? Our side? he knows it's there - that We're there - but none of it is visible to him. maybe his apparent disassociation in the 14 bug audios is a demonstration of him contacting Us. we can see through him, but it's a one way street.

and speaking of the pit - i just had a thought. his whole thing with Us letting him in, opening... the pit on the neighborhood map is getting bigger and clearer. but the presumed Other Side, the one on the Staff Only ceiling, is small. it's the size of a ceiling panel. it seems to me that Wally is chipping away at his side of the pit or 'portal', trying to reach Our reality, but he needs Us to do the same thing on the other side. the QA can hear him calling, but there's no phone on their (Our) side of the pit. how do We call back???

there's a fundamental barrier & lack of understanding between Wally and the QA/Us. he's trying. he wants to be let in, but what does that mean, really? let him in where? open what? he's desperate. he wants us to understand. he's trying so so hard Without the right tools to clearly communicate what he wants. he can't see Us, We can see him, both know the other is there, but there's no way to connect. and the attempts are hurting all parties involved, however unintentionally

#and its very ah. Autistic/Neurodivergent Horror i think? #the Wanting To Explain but Being Unable To because the people you're trying to communicate with #function differently than you. they don't understand. they Can't understand. their brains are wired differently. #no matter how hard you try there will never be understanding. your attempts to connect are somehow Incorrect. #and often - in my experiences at least - being that Different gets you hurt. people perceive your actions/behavior as a slight. #or as intentionally malicious! and then they get mad and you just.. dont get Why? you didn't Want to hurt anyone. you wanted to Explain. #you wanted someone to look at you and Understand. say 'oh. i see you! i get it now!' and have that Connection. #but you will never be understood. never Seen nor Heard. left in the dark. you're accidentally hurting them. they're hurting you. #it takes all of your strength to try to reach them and yet you still. fall. short. because they don't reach back. #anyway ive had these thoughts simmering for a lil while #Knowing whether or not the bug audios are present day or not would cross some theories off and write up new ones i think #that confirmation seems Important imo.... #homebogging #welcome home speculation #welcome home theory #then of course there's the question of how Home fits into all of this... in the early days i was a 'home is evil' believer but now?? #nah. home's not outright Evil i think. there's something complicated going on between them and wally and its role in all of this #im just... unsure of what. i think confirmation of whether his morse code says 'help me' or 'hello' would massively help clear up the sitch #is home an accomplice? a victim? a perpetrator? a secret fourth option? who's to say (yet) #i have many Thoughts about it based on a couple different things - the distorted voice under wallys. the waLLy guestbook entry. etc #but this post has gotten long enough and its Not on that particular subject #*grips the bug audios & home's morse code* you two motherfuckers would clear so much up i stg- #the bug audio's timeline placement could tell us whether or not wally is with his neighbors or if the neighborhood is intact (in some way!) #home's morse code would give Major insight into their place in all of this!!! #AGH THIS FUCKING PROJECT MAKES ME INSANE. IT'S SO GODDAMN GOOD WHO AUTHORIZED THIS- #as always take my words with a Hefty grain of salt & i hope it's coherent! #anyway there's nothing more dangerous & all-consuming than the need/desire to be understood <3

[dylanconrique]

ya'll know i love chenford to death, but i feel like getting a proposal by the end of this season would be kinda rushed (imo).

#*carly catalogs #tbd #THEY'RE STILL BURNING THEY'RE NOT READY TO BE TAKEN OFF THE STOVE LET THEM SIMMER A LITTLE WHILE LONGER #idk all these predictions regarding a possible proposal by the end of s6 seem pretty far fetched to me #i mean i'll be happy either way but i personally prefer they hold out for that till s7 #come for me all you want idc #the rookie #tim bradford #lucy chen #chenford #otp: you know me so well

[onewholivesinloops]

those two shots from the first episode of oniakashi showing satoko's reflection as her witch self, as she observes rena spacing out because of her home problems, and the second shot where she's presumably thinking of how she's going to inject rena at the nurse office struck me. satoko is so alienated from her surroundings after looping through her trauma for so long that it feels to her like everything is a 'dream'. she's so emotionally disconnected from the people she cares about as if she were separated by a glass wall. it's a literal interpretation of depersonalization/derealization.

satoko has now entirely compartmentalized the idea that she's doing anything bad. she's completely distanced herself from the violence she's committing towards herself and others. this is no different from a club game or one of her many traps. nothing is real including her friends until she's happy. until the reality wherein she can survive is within her grasp. everything else is a delusion and her friends are just pieces on the gameboard.

still, satoko gives rena the grief and remorse she doesn't give to mion, because rena has always fought against fate - the same fate satoko believes mion has not had to suffer through before that she and rena always do. satoko makes rena much like herself, that way they can be together in this.

rena's reaction to rina and her feeling that she has to kill rina in oniakashi is a parallel to satoko's reaction to rika and st. lucia as a whole. it's this sense that no matter what nothing can get better unless you commit an absolute. a certainty. others will not change or be better if you talk things out with them. satoko sympathizes with rena because she sees much of herself in rena.

it's different with mion whom satoko injects out of curiosity, the curiosity to see something she's never seen before playing out, but that's also an expression of her resentment towards mion - resentment because mion never had to go through what she and the others did while also being complicit in her ostracization and othering as a sonozaki in her mind. there's jealousy there. a bite of biterness. it's why satoko loses all the sympathy she had for rena when she's dealing with mion. satoko feels guilt over making rena go L5, but all of this is goes out of the window when it comes to mion. that's purposeful.

every fragment satoko weaves with eua is just another duel!!!!!!

duels are all about making Duelists and Brides relive anthy and akio's problems. it validates akio's horrible solution as akio is looking for the power to reinforce his worldview that enables his abuse of women and anthy. eua is the same. eua has turned her despair + loneliness into boredom and she sees the world as a stage to relieve that, but she only counts on the cruelty of the children of man. the savagery of the loops reinforces her worldview and validates her manipulation of satoko and her perspective of people.

satoko and anthy are also making them relive their trauma in a similar way, but they're more justified. satoko and anthy are trying to escape, find love, destroy themselves and their loved one. [REDACTED] from umineko is like them too btw.

the akashis are all about the thematics and parallels. gousotsu as a whole is. very utena!

#higurashi #higurashi gou #higurashi sotsu #satoko houjou #gamo.txt #those arcs aren't mere retreads they're different takes on earlier arcs with differences and those differences serve an important purpose!! #gousotsu is simultaneously a thematic remake AND a sequel #and to engage with gousotsu you need to engage with the former as much as the latter #gousotsu is a love letter to the survivors who want to improve but still need to lean on this feeling again enough to prop themselves up #it's a walk through memories and nostalgia for us and for satoko #it's revisiting and re-enacting and trying to understand because problems still exist in different forms #it wants to simmer in those feelings and thoughts #it wants to simmer in what makes things worthwhile to revisit once again #it wants to simmer in what truly makes something a remake #it's going through all of those events again but this time from the specific angle of what they mean for satoko #the entire show is satoko soaking herself in all these events and feelings again #the akashis are really fun concepts to me because they're all about being different takes on arcs from the original #oniakashi is all about giving you a more sympathetic take on rina whom i'd argue was handled a little poorly as a sex worker in the origina #and i like how it implicitly addresses some of rena's internalized misogyny in doing so #wataakashi is all about addressing how mion has always been passive/cowardly to a fault while also giving her an arc of her own #it's where sotsu messed up the most but it's still fun to chew on these concepts and i like what it was going for! #tatariakashi is the culmination of the critique of satoko being a damsel in distress in the original and a deconstruction of that #it's a critique of the message of unity and forgiveness etc etc and recognizing traumas can't be erased and happy endings are elusive #because the harm was still done #people don't want to admit that the world rika created covered up the original problems especially for satoko #who got the short end of the stick in terms of a real higurashi ending which is why they see this as a sick joke #sorry if this makes no sense to anyone i may be insane

[july-19th-club]

i really like george and nick together they're so solid. the thing she needs most in the world is stability (financial and social) and he's just deeply steady and commitment-oriented which gives her the ability to soften up a bit when she knows she has a landing zone that won't fall out from under her. but they also challenge each other, they're fun, their arguments are charming and funny and their chemistry is strong i really really like these two together

#so far none of nancy's relationships have much wowed me she was really only with nick in order to break up with him #and he's so interesting that it's nice to see him becoming something more than Nancy's Boyfriend #normally when the first-string boyfriend gets broken up with he fades into the background but i feel like it's actually #solidified him as a character #he's still in the story because he kind of has to be so they're forced to come up with somethign compelling for him to DO #owen is nothing. he's zero. he's reilly buffyverse. i dont care about him at all and neither does the protagonist #the REAL sleeper agent is the fry cook . i know this because i read the wiki and because also at this point he and the protagonist are like #at best acquaintances who've gone on a few missions together #but the potential is there. it's simmering. she's intense and always dialed up to eleven so she does need an even-tempered and easygoing gu #meanwhile he is more interesting than he looks so he needs someone who will bring excitement into his life #nancy drew

[lemonandpie]

New thought for the day: why are the characters who the narrative goes out of its way to prove are bad and needing to be taken down a peg always the ones popular with and related to by marginalized people? Characters like Loki, Charles Xavier, Jason Todd, who the audience need to be reminded are bad (even if being bad is part of their appeal, or they weren't bad at all and the writers have just decided they are suddenly). It feels very similar to that male writers having disdain for their female audience post, because lbr most cishet men aren't getting deeply invested in Noted Queer Icon Loki Laufeyson or Textually Feminine Charles Xavier. So instead when canon decides the audience aren't being Critical Enough, they decide to tell the audience that no, silly, this character is the reason everything's gone wrong. Don't you feel bad for liking him? Foolish girls*, we know you only care because he's hot.

So Loki throws around gendered insults to prove that he is a sexist cis male (c'mon, were you really expecting us to keep him genderfluid? Child, this is Disney!). Charles gets that weird ass speech about how "it's only the women who do the work around here". Daemon Targeryan chokes a woman explicitly because the audience liked him too much and the writers were pissed.

Silly girls, don't you know how much your favorite characters hate you? Don't worry, we'll remind you. Now promise you'll never like insufficiently masculine characters again.

#Just simmering in vinegar until I turn into a pickle don't mind me #hot take: the only reason Dick Grayson doesn't get this treatment is because there has always been a sizeable male fanbase that likes him t #otherwise you KNOW there'd be an entire subgenre of comics about how Dick is the real bad guy #worse still is there are fans who will always say yuh huh see canon says we were right to hate them unlike Those Other Girls #Or people will claim it's this when it's a character who has been awful from the start #you won't convince me that the reason the Loki show spent an entire first episode telling the audience just how much Loki sucks #isn't because they're pissed at how many people like Loki the wrong way #Jason doesn't get it as bad because he's still appealing to masculine sensibilities but he has his moments #idk this has just been driving me crazy lately #meta #i guess #meta incoherent ranting same thing

[chimpukampu]

I finally finished S4 and HOLY FUCK I have so many thoughts I don't even know where to start first

#I'd say I'm glad I didn't interact much about fan theories coz they're way off the charts lol #Rayllum reunion isn't much as dramatic as what I've expected but they're back so I'm happy #Stella isn't much as evil as fans speculated lmao #TDP tags and mentions are still blocked so I can absorb the S4 without getting bias opinions #I have a few thoughts about Rayla in S4 vs the book but I'll let that simmer for a bit before I share my opinions abt it #anyway S4 was great & will prob rewatch it once I have enough time #also SOREN IS THE REAL MVP in this season #tdp #the dragon prince #tdp s4 #tdp the mystery of aaravos #tdp spoilers #tdp s4 spoilers

[nyrarachelle-plays]

"GIRL, IM JUST JUICED!"

"Oh..okay, me too...." *a giggle escapes* "....I should call him."

Yall know how unserious siblings can be lmboo. Although, Tiffani took Krystle's outrageous story seriously, even in her juiced state! She just knew not to allow them to dwell on this incident. Plus, it's just been a while since she had any nectar and it's looking like she can no longer handle it like she used to! She's burping at the table and everything lmboo. Krystle's lowkey feeling the same way, the nectar just isn't sitting with her right…and she's finally in the state where she misses home or atleast Roger, even when she's only a few miles away...

Previously. ("How's Everything?!") | Next. (Self-Care...)

#They're the only ones still in the restaurant carrying on after brunch lmbo yall know those ones! #especially when you can finally be FRIENDS with your sibling <3 #ts4 legacy #ts4 simblr #ts4 #ts4 gameplay #ts4 mm gameplay #the sims 4 #my sims #show us your sims #ts4 screenshots #ts4 screenies #black simmer #black sims 4 #black simblr #nyrarachelle plays. #thedysonsistersts4 #simblr

[lulousims]

It's been officially longer than a year since I last posted gameplay pics...

For the most part of 2022, I couldn't play The Sims because I shared a computer and we couldn't agree on it. Then I played it for like, 2 months (in 2023!) on my bf's computer, but I couldn't take any screenshots 😭 And now, since October of 2023, I've been in England working as a volunteer, with no access to a personal computer. My friend was kind enough to lend me his laptop a few weeks ago so that I could finally play a bit, but it's not ideal because, well, it's his, and he needs it for work outside of the volunteering. I might be able to get my hands on a new laptop soon though (!!!!!!), and I'm really excited about finally being able to remove the "hiatus" from my bio! Or at least replace it with "semi hiatus", you know lol

I obviously won't be able to even remember what's gone on in my households, but at least I'll be back to playing once every few weeks and documenting my stuff. If everything works out, I should be here in one or two weeks, posting unedited screenshots of my game, like I used to, and getting 2 to 5 likes on each post <3 Just how I like it!

#text #i'm so excited to be back #i missed the game and sharing my love for it on tumblr #i miss my households and my sims and my neighborhoods #i miss danika and tessa. i miss their children #i miss my gameplay of alt pleasantview that i didn't even get to post #btw i've made it soooo gay you wouldnt believe it... #daniel pleasant and darren dreamer are married #they have a baby boy #hhhh i also have a new legacy save which i may or may not give up on depending on how creative i manage to be with the 1st generation #there's three kids. one of them is an alien who builds a shitton of servo-androids to be sold in a store that he owns #and he's married to a vampire #the second one lacked personality so i have him a grilled cheese secondary and had him as the main guy on a bachelor challenge #and the third kid i'm still trying to figure out what to do with her #like. she's a pleasure sim which is one of the most aimless aspirations in my book #she's sharing a small house with a romance sim and they're both so... “idk what to do with my life i'm just having fun” #IDK WHETHER TO MARRY THEM OR NOT? THEY LIKE EACH OTHER BUT THEY HAVE NO LONGTERM PLANS WHATSOEVER. #they're a mystery i swear #can i just say. i'm very shy and bad at conversation but i'd like to make more friends who are simmers #if you'd like to make friends or even just talk to me feel free to comment on my posts <3 #i probably won't comment on urs unless u do it first for fear of looking weird #that being said. i wish all simmers a very pleasant morning/afternoon/evening #it's 3 am and i should be sleeping i need to be up at 7

[deviousdiesel]

.

#i know this blog is like 90% d10 and lady gijinkas because i think about their dynamic a lot but honestly i think about duck and diesel too #the thing is finding content about them is so like. particular for me yknow bc they're popular characters too #and i know that there'll be people who aren't normal about them and some people aren't a fan of them together but personally i am #and i have been for uhhh a long time admittedly - if you've seen my post highlighting my old ttte art you'll probably know #back in the day (6-7 years ago) i was like the duck/diesel guy they were all i drew and look where i am now i'm on the opposite end lmao #oh yeah my human (nick)names for them are monty and diego (he is this blog's icon) #i DO still think about them a lot they're everything to me i'm just letting them simmer in angst for now #fauxtrainpost.txt

[huesofvioletandpurple]

one thing I like about Hunter is how he is both the werewolf and the moon

#toh #the owl house #hunter toh #hunter the owl house #toh spoilers #the owl house spoilers #vaguely. #smthn smthn secludes a specifically 'non-human' side of him to the darkness/as a secret #smthn smthn the moon reflects a very small fraction of the sun's light and despite it being the only reason it 'shines' #the moon is still individual #something. something #I have thoughts. they're simmering in my brain like a broth #they'e just not a coherent Thing yet #nooty lore

[carmenlire]

back to thinking about my semantic error boys and i really should start writing for them again. . .

#i watched SE shorts during my lunch hour to qualm the simmering rage my workplace and general temperament seems to bring out in me #and like..... that show is realyl so good #the actors were phenomenal and the subject matter #seems like it was like this! is for you specifically brianna! #anywho #i still have so many ideas i wanna write #i'm thinking maybe i'll finally watch the movie soon and that'll really get the juices flowing again #wonder where my SE anon is.... i hope they're enjoying life #se anon #semantic error

[hallasimss]

if you see me going through my reblogs and adding an extra tag to sh*t no you didn't. mind your business sksksksk

#* mine. #hallasimss #( * look in all seriousness i'm just reorganizing #| i have realized that i may need a specific tag for my black simmers bc they're going to get lost in the main one otherwise #| everything will still be generally lumped together we're just going to have a subsection of content if you get what i'm saying )

[peachtonium]

there's actually nothing stopping you from continuing to donate to and support creators you like without them holding their content hostage behind a short term paywall in order to capitalize off of FOMO. if you really believe that creators deserve compensation, then, uh... g...ive... it... to... them??? there shouldn't need to be incentives or bribery involved. pretending like EA is the one taking money away from early access creators instead of people just not wanting to support them without getting something out of it is WEIRD.

#i'm practicing what i preach & keeping my donation subs active #anyway #i would bet at least half of the people saying this are the ones that love to flaunt having early access content #because it makes them feel elitist and special #so now if everyone has it they don't get to be sparkly for 3 weeks 🥺 #how will everyone know they're rich #or that they're the no.1 FaN of [creator name] #pathetic!!!! #to the guillotine with ALL forced payment in the sims #and yes early access is STILL forced payment #especially when it's attached to an outright guilt trip #the way all of u got c*cked by early access is so unhinged #imagine explaining to a simmer from 2007 that we are obligated to pay $ or wait 3 weeks for #because creators deserve the right to withhold content for forced compensation #WEIRD!!! #early access drama #patreon drama #ranting

[aohendo]

WIP Titles Tag

Rules: post the names of all the files in your wip folder regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous they are. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it. Then tag as many people as you have wips. (you can make your own post or reblog this one!) 

Thanks for the tags, @on-noon​ and @eccaiia​!

I... uh... there’s a lot. Er, non-fic projects are at the top, fic projects are at the bottom below the cut 🙃 These are the open projects, not the completed stories or supporting docs or anything. The ones in bold (other than the “this is what fandom it’s for” bolds) are the projects I’m particularly fond of.

I’m... just going to leave this an open tag. Any one wants it, y’all come and take it.

Original:

Attenuate

Prince for Hire 2022

Reverberate

Opposite the Oxbow

1TEOKAL

Charybdis

Demonics

Drabbles

Draconian

Now

Signalmen

War Games

Five Minutes to Death

The Steam Tunnels

And the metric shit-ton of fic:

AtLA:

bnha

Criminal

Down the River

Firepower

Grave Robbers

Has Anyone Ever Been Here Before

Reversal

Shackalacka

The One Where Lee Gets Kidnapped and It Doesn’t Go Well

Lucifer:

BGP

L-Bingo Dec2018

Reveals

Summoning

The Case of the Incompetent Hitman

Merlin:

2

Erf

Mer

Misc.:

RuroKen

2 over 1

316 (2)

316

516

541

546

A Family Reunion

Aaron

After the Legend

Agency

Another

Arxs

C. Hunter

C. munfic

C. Nichola

C. Package One

C. The Clone

C. The Little Blue Box

Callon

Christmas Ghost

Defect

Discord

Expo

Extension

Field Trip!

Horseshoes and Hand Grenades

Impossible

In the Shadows

It

James 1

James 2

James 3

James

Kidnapping 546

Lost Control

Nyerg

Our

PG2

PMDCCB

Police Guard

Report

RtA

Slightly to the Left

Snip 12

Stolen

Thatfic

thatfic2

The Hash Slinging Slasher

The People of Yiling

Where...

#wip list #I've been hauling some of these around since 2013 #anything I had before 2013 was lost to the depths of a very very old computer #never to be seen again #feel free to ask about any though #although some of them really are from freshman year of highschool so uhhh #yeah quality varies #these are all in the WIP folders in that I still open them and add shit to them #so they aren't dead they're just simmering in a crockpot #not? writing #tag game

[xfindingtrouble]

“We keep living anyway. We rise and we fall and we break and we make our mistakes.” – for Vilkas, from Aela.

regret was easier in theory, rising above was easier in theory. the unfortunate thing about theory is that it often left vilkas' brain simmering with too many ' what if's. how he could have done things differently, what would have been the better scenario by the end of it. outwardly he could stand by his decisions quite stubbornly, but internally...? well, things got a bit more complicated.

perhaps he hadn't been careful enough with his allusions to regret, his questioning of the twisting paths that had led them this far. as the years passed, he could not help but wonder how they would be remembered. what sort of light would be shone upon them when they died. would they be remembered as heroes or beasts? how long before someone saw them as they were, saw beyond the narrative they didn't write.

vilkas' shoulders drop as he sinks into his chair, meeting aela's gaze from across the table. they had spent most of the night nestled in the corner of some unremarkable tavern, drinking unremarkable ale. it hardly held a flame to the drinks back home, but it did the job while they were passing through this forgettable town. ( he would be glad when they got back on the road, he thinks. )

" You're right, I suppose. Mistakes make man, " though he doesn't seem entirely convinced, his brow is still knotted together in thought. His voice drops & he leans a bit closer. maybe he ought to hold his tongue, but it was a night for sentiment, wasn't it? " But sometimes I feel like the rules are different for us. Our mistakes aren't just ours, they aren't always so individual. "

it was difficult to trade his sentiments with others, but it was always a bit easier when it was someone who may understand. stubborn as she was, aela was not without reason. their conversation had taken many twists & turns, skipping past the perceived mistakes that he usually couldn't pay attention to. his mouth feels too dry & so he sips at his drink, letting her words settle in the space between them. they should be comforting & they almost are, but vilkas' mind is not so quick to rest.

#austerulous #austerulous: aela #ch. vilkas #HELLOOO sorry it took me a moment to respond to this i am just slow #i was so excited for this though i have a lot of thoughts on vilkas & aela's relationship #i feel like he has an Insane amount of respect for her but there are also like some Other Layers #bcs she is so stubborn!!! & so strong!!! #but there is like this little bit of jealousy bcs he thinks she is so steadfast in her decision making #which like doesn't like infect any of the respect/love he has for her as a friend & companion but it adds this intimidation factor #this little voice in his head that makes it so scary to be real with her about his regrets #bcs logically he knows she is not without regret but from the outside looking in he cannot see it #but he is also Stupid With Emotion so it could be presented to him fully & he would still be like ' wow she has no regrets at all ' #anyways sorry abt the mini ramble in the tags i just think they're Neat #i dont write vilkas too often anymore but he is one of my oldest muses #so sometimes i gotta simmer on responses but they always make me go a little insane

[fordaryl]

REMEMBER.

minors dni. 2.6k words. smut. daryl dixon x fem!reader. protective daryl. hint of size kink. strength kink.

It's easy to forget his strength when his touch is always so gentle. When you're safe, he lets you forget everything he's capable of; the reason you've both made it this long.

Safety lets you forget.

And then—when it inevitably all it all goes to shit again—you remember.

"Get in!" he calls through the wall of bodies separating you. He keeps the attention of most of them, but there's a few stumbling in your direction—too many for you to handle alone. "Now!" he shouts as he takes another growling walker down.

It goes against every instinct you have—to leave him to fight this alone. But this was his domain. This was when you did whatever the fuck he told you to do. It was how you survived.

You drag the door of the container open, grunting as the heavy metal fights back. It's a makeshift prison cell, one that was supposed to be filled with live bait for the walkers. It would be if it weren't for Daryl. He was almost single-handedly dismantling whatever fucked up enterprise you'd both stumbled upon.

One of them reaches you before you'd manage to push the gate open enough to slip through.

One is fine. You can handle one.

Turning around to deal with it gives you a split second to check in on Daryl. He's making a dent in the mass of bodies, but it's not enough. Not with the shouts of the living making their way closer.

You kick the walker you've knifed back into the mass of bodies approaching, giving you just enough time to slip through the crack you've made in the sliding door and slam it closed behind you.

Locking it is another story.

You have no hope of accomplishing that.

Still, it's enough for now. It's enough to let Daryl keep his focus where it needs to be as you deal with as many as you can through the bars.

Then one gets shot down. Daryl, is your first thought. But then two are shot down at once. And then the voices reach your ears. Voices are bad. Walkers you can handle. The living was another story. Nothing stoked the fear constantly simmers in your gut like the voices of the living.

They shout over each other, calling directions as they pick off the mass with a spray of bullets. You can't see Daryl anymore. He's either dead or hiding.

Hiding. Hiding. Hiding.

You shift back into one of the dark corners of the container as the shouts draw nearer.

“What the fuck happened?! Don't shoot them you dumb fucks! Get any you can back into holding!”

Any second now... any second they'd find Daryl and your world would end. The living were different. The living were monsters of a different kind.

"They're bunched up around this one!" someone shouts.

You hold your breath.

"Well check it out then!" another demands.

Oh, fuck. You grip your pistol. Your aim was decent. You could take one out, maybe two. But there's a whole group... and they were coming for you.

You scramble to the other far corner as the last of the walkers are cleared from the entrance, hoping to take advantage of the darkest shadows. Daryl would be watching... waiting. Any extra moment you could give him could be vital.

"You better come out now," a man calls from outside. He's just out of your sights, prepared for you to be armed and ready to fight. You'd hoped to have the element of surprise. "I ain't asking."

You know what'll happened when they find you. It's the same thing each time. You're prey to people like these—something to hunt in a world without consequences for that kind of thing.

Your silence buys you less than a minute before the first of them are dragging the metal gate open. If you shoot, they'll shoot back. It's not something you'll survive cornered like this. So you bet on them being the same as the rest. You let them know you're prey.

"Please," you call, as meek and afraid as you can manage—vulnerable. Not a threat. "I'm—I'm unarmed."

Then a bright light blinds you.

"What the fuck?" one of them exclaims. Then, "Where'd the fuck this little thing come from?"

There it was. Little. Thing. You were nothing. You're not a threat. You'd bought Daryl more time.

"Come on out, girl. Come on." They call you like you're a dog, something less than human. That's how they see you. Something to use.

You take a small step forward, still blinded by their flashlights. Daryl was alive. He was alive and hiding and he was waiting for something.

You just had to stay alive.

"What do you... want with me?" you ask, still taking tiny steps towards the light. Weak. Vulnerable. No threat.

You get muffled laughter in response. Guards down. Distracted.

"What do we want? We want a little fun, honey. That's all. Just a bit of fun."

They're flash lights drop as you approach the entrance. They've pulled the gate all the way across.

Five. You count five. If you kill two...

"Why is she alone?" one of them questions. He's younger, a little less distracted.

The rest ignore him. Then one of them has you by the arm, dragging you the rest of the way out of the makeshift cell. They're hands send a wave of repulsion through your body as they grab at you, pulling you around and shoving you in front of them. They may as well be the undead the way their touch feels against your skin.

The young one doesn't move out of the way when you reach him. Instead he stares into you, suspicious and angry. "Who are you with?" he asks. Even then, his gun is lowered. Even to him you aren't a threat.

"Get the fuck out of the way," the man gripping your arm says, clearly irritated and impatient.

"But—"

"Now."

His eyes narrow, but then he steps aside—his back pressed to the wall to let the rest of the men past. It's now that you get a look down into the pit of walkers, the one's they've managed to recapture rather than take out. They reach up towards you, hands grabbing for you.

Then, only a few steps later—you're stopped. The man with his hand wrapped around your elbow leans over your shoulder, his rancid breath invading your nostrils as he speaks. "You alone?" he asks. "You tell me right now."

You blink away the burn threatening to pool tears in your eyes. Were you alone? If you were...

The man's grip tightens, the only warning you get before you're forced to your knees and staring down into the pit of hungry walkers. "Speak," he demands, nails carving into your skin. "I'd hate to waste you like this."

There's two other men behind you. Three surrounding you in total. You could take one out for sure. They hadn't even searched you for weapons. They expected nothing out of you at all.

But then there'd be two, only counting the ones in reaching distance. How long would it take the other two further away to aim their guns in your direction?

You were dying tonight if Daryl was dead, that was certain. Your only hope was that he was waiting and watching... but what would he be waiting for...

Your pistol sits at your hip, a comfortable weight.

You take a deep breath. You could wait to die. Or fight now and hope that's the moment he's waiting for... if he's waiting at all.

The man holding you drops to one knee behind you. He leans over to speak in your ear. You wouldn't need to rely on your aim for the first kill, only any that followed. It was a headstart you weren't likely to get again. You reach for your pistol and before the man can open his lips and taint your senses with his rot once more, you shoot him through the underside of his jaw.

Your ears ring as his body drops. But you were ready. The men behind you aren't.

You were nothing. Prey.

The few seconds that affords you are priceless. You manage to shoot one more through the head before he can get hands on his own weapon.

The third is another story. His gun is pointed at you for what must be milliseconds. They drag though, those moments with an enemy weapon pointed at your head always do.

But then Daryl is there, strangling the man with a rifle and shoving his body into the ground with a force that reverberates through the metal. It's only when he snaps the man's neck you spot the bodies behind him.

He'd been waiting for you.

You watch him stand, hair hanging in his face and his chest rising and falling with his deep breaths.

Then his eyes are on you.

Then his hands.

Those hands... the same ones he'd used seconds earlier to break a man's neck. His fingers are feathers across your skin as he brushes the hair back off your face. "Okay?" he asks, soft and a little shaky.

You nod.

"You did good," he says, that deep gravel back in his voice. "So good, sweetheart." His hand makes a trail down to your neck, gentle and slow over your pulse point to rest at your clavicle. "We gotta go," he says. "Stay close for me, yeah?"

—————

The first time after is always the same—after you're forced to remember. It adds something to the way his gentle hands feel as he reaches over your hips to dip between your legs. To the way his body feels pressed up behind yours.

His thick fingers slip between your slick folds as he holds you tight against his chest. Heat. It's an overwhelming heat. He crowds you, practically curled around you.

"You like that sweetheart?" His voice is almost sweet as his lips graze your ears and his long hair tickles your skin. "Huh? You like that?"

You nod with a small whine, pressing your hips back into him—desperate.

He sighs, finger prodding over and over at your swollen entrance—a teasing little hint of what's to come. He dips in slightly, his calloused fingertip pressing into your slippery, spongy entrance just enough to have you whimpering his name.

"Fuck," he grunts. "You need me here? Huh? You all fuckin' empty?"

"Yeah," you whine with a desperate nod. "Empty."

His grip around your ribs tightens for a moment before he's pressing you into the ground—cushioned by the few blankets you carry. He's rolled you onto your belly as he covers you completely, his warmth seeping into your skin from his calves to his hot breath on your neck.

"What do you need?" he asks. As if he doesn't know; as if he didn't always know.

"You."

"Hm?" he hums, sweet and coaxing. "How?"

You reach blindly to find his wrist, gripping it firmly. "Hold me tight," you gasp between jagged breaths. "Please... Please."

His weight is heavy over you as he drops his lips to your neck, a silent acknowledgement of your pleas.

Then he's scooping you up, lifting you and rearranging you exactly the way you want him to. Because he fucking knows.

He has you pressed to his chest with your tits against his skin as he lays back into the makeshift bed you've created for the night. His arms wrap around you, one across your shoulder blades and the other around your waist—secure and firm. His fingers press sporadically into your skin a little more than needed, like he's testing his grip on you; like he's testing he has you in his arms good and tight.

Then he hooks one leg under yours, a gentle guide to part your legs just the way he needs.

"You ready for me, sweetheart?" he breathes against your temple as one of his hands leaves you. It's temporary, you remind yourself. He'd be wrapping you up securely as soon as he'd buried himself deep; once his cock was guided safely into your throbbing cunt.

You nip at his neck in response, chasing with a delicate lick at his salty skin. "Please," you ask softly.

Then he's adjusting you against him a little, ensuring you're exactly where he needs you to be. "I got you," he says as his leaking tip prods at your entrance. "Got you," he repeats. He mumbles this way as he teases; as he plays. This was what he did: pushed you to the brink of desperate sobs as he guides his cockhead over your slippery, throbbing cunt... over and over.... and over...

Saying he liked you needy was an understatement.

Then, eventually, he slips inside. Just the tip.. and not far. Just enough so that he can wrap his arms around you again. Just enough that he can have you whimpering his name as he prevents you grinding down to take him deep inside.

This is when he gives you a hint of his strength. It's easy to keep you from your goal, his strong arms pressing you into his torso a little harder each time you attempt to resist.

He keeps you there, just with a taste of that fullness—a taste of having him as close as it was possible to be. "Kiss," he says, simple and a little croaky.

You obey, pressing your desperation between his lips. It's messy and interrupted by moments where you simply need to breathe, heavily—his lips chasing yours as you attempt to catch your breath.

"Daryl," you gasp eventually. "Now. Please."

His grip around you tightens a little as you drop your face to his neck.

Then he pulls you down to meet his cock, to fuck himself deep. It's hard, exactly like you need it—exactly the way he knows you want it. You bite into his neck weakly as he keeps you there, stuffed full—the thick throbbing length of him stretching you out so completely.

Then, "Like that?" he asks, that sweetness back in his voice—like he's offering you a gentle back massage instead of holding you down on his cock.

You nod weakly in response.

His fingers press into your skin moments before he's moving, fucking himself with your cunt as he pulls you down to meet his messy thrusts. You're completely pliant like this, all control relinquished.

He's got you.

His breathing is quickly transformed into uneven pants as he attempts to grunt broken sentences into your ear. "Sucking me in... sucking at my cock with your messy little cunt... aren't you, baby? Hm?"

One of his hands moves to your hair occasionally, a temporary and seemingly subconscious attempt to get a better grip—or just to hold you closer. His fingers tangle in the strands, never tugging hard—never hurting.

"My girl," he grunts. "My needy little girl."

It's only when he's nearing his end that he flips you onto your back and you get a real display. He grips your hips and tugs you down to meet him as he uses you, each thrust a slapping of skin and punching a helpless sound from your lungs.

Strength. Everything you've been forced to remember.

"Daryl," you gasp. "Daryl, fill me. Please."

His fingers dig a little more into your skin, his hair falling over his eyes. Then his lips part, a grunt... a broken, "Fuck."

He falls over you as he floods you, his cock twitching and pumping you full—just like you asked. But even then, even as he loses himself, he catches his fall—arms landing either side of your head to cage you in. "Got you," he gasps out between desperate lung fulls of air. "I got you."

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