#this could be any of the adas to be honest | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stuckinthesun · 11 months

Note

How about Leon x reader one where Leon is a lot more experienced than reader and because of that and the whole Ada situation (with her just randomley appearing) she’s been putting off having sex with Leon.. Leon finally catches on and reassures her that she is all he wants and then they gave sex

the end ⭐️⭐️⭐️❤️

Yessss Ada angst is just *chefs kiss*

Ily ⭐️🫶

Leon Kennedy x Fem!Reader

Warnings: nsfw, slight angst, p in v, soft dom!Leon, oral sex (fem receiving), mention of aftercare

wc: 2.3k

Leon Masterlist

You and Leon have been dating for a little over a year now, you love this man so much and you know he feels the same about you.

Even so, the two of you still haven’t had sex.

Honestly the two of you have barely done anything other than make out. There were a handful of times where you jacked him off while he rubbed your clit, but other than that, the two of you have done nothing together sexually.

Leon has tried to take the next step before, pull you into his lap while kissing you, rubbing your thighs or slipping his hands under your shirt. You always stopped him though, saying you weren’t ready or that you weren’t in the mood.

He was always a gentleman, saying that it was perfectly fine and that you guys would go at your pace. You were thankful, of course, but it also made you feel guilty.

The truth was, it’s not that you weren’t ready. God did you want that man to fuck you senseless, but you were scared you wouldn’t be good enough. You weren’t very experienced sexually, and you don’t want to sound like one of those girlfriends, but he is.

Leon has been very honest with you about his lack of a stable relationship before you. How he spent years just bed hopping and never settling down, especially with a reoccurring morally grey, red wearing, freelance agent.

So you were scared you wouldn’t be able to live up to his expectations, even though you knew logically that he didn’t have any.

Tonight had been one of these moments, the two of you were making out and Leon pulled you into his lap. His hands gripped your hips and pulled you closer, letting you feel just how hard he was.

You moaned but instinctively pulled away, feeling that small bit of panic building. Leon’s face instantly softened, but he also looked confused and it made you feel even more guilty than usual.

“Baby,” He started, tone soft, “You know I’m more than willing to wait until you’re comfortable to have sex, and I don’t want you to feel pressured by any means, but is it something I’m doing?”

A different type of panic filled you, “No! Oh my god, Leon no absolutely not! You’re perfect and probably really good at it and just, you’ve probably had sex with women who know exactly how to make you feel good and I’ve barely done anything and-“

Your rambling was cut off by Leon putting his hand over your mouth. You looked at him, not having even realized you were looking at your lap in your panic, and saw his look of confusion had deepened.

“Wait, so the reason you haven’t wanted to have sex is because you don’t think… you’ll be good enough at it for me?” Leon asked, saying the last part like it was painful.

Suddenly embarrassed and with his hand still over your mouth, all you could do was sheepishly nod.

“Oh, honey.” He immediately melted, moving his hand to cup your face and pull you down into a kiss. It was gentle this time and you gripped his t-shirt to ground yourself, your head spinning from the emotional whiplash.

“I love you,” Leon said the moment he pulled away from the kiss, making you smile.

“I love you too.”

“And it doesn’t matter if you’re bad in bed, which I don’t think you will be by the way,” He whispered the last part teasingly, making you blush and giggle, “but even if you are, it’s not a big deal because I love you and I just want to be with you, okay?”

“Leon-“

“Besides,” He cut you off by wrapping his arms around your waist and picking you up, causing you to yelp, “I don’t plan on making you do much of the work, anyway.”

You realized Leon was carrying you in the direction of your shared bedroom, making you squirm “Wait what? Leon-“

“Now that I know what the problem is, my love, I can fix it.” He said, walking into the room and gently setting you on the bed.

He knelt down in front of you and rubbed his hands along your thighs soothingly, “Can I show you how much I want you, and just you?”

You stared at him and he stared right back, his face telling you just how serious he was. In that moment for the first time you didn’t feel scared, you felt wanted.

“Yeah.” You nodded and Leon gave you the sweetest smile.

“Thank you baby,” He said, leaning up and kissing you again, just as sweetly as before.

This time when his hand’s started to slip under your shirt and push the fabric up, exposing your skin, you let him. You didn’t flinch or move away, instead you gasped a little into the kiss, causing him to smirk against you.

“So sensitive,” Leon teased, and you whined a little, pouting into the kiss, “It’s cute baby, don’t worry.”

Leon pulled away from you and slipped your shirt over your head, and both of you were glad you weren’t wearing a bra, having already changed into your pajamas.

Although the two of you haven’t had sex before, that doesn’t mean Leon hasn’t seen you naked. He has, multiple times actually, but this is the first time he’s seeing you naked in a sexual manner. Yes you guys have done touched each other in the past, but it was always with the lights off and clothes on. It was never like this, never something so intimate.

So when you brushed your hair out of your eyes and looked down to see Leon just staring at your chest, you immediately felt uncomfortable.

“Don’t stare,” You mumble, crossing your arms to cover yourself.

Leon blinks a few times and literally shakes his head a few times to snap himself out of whatever trance he was under, before looking at you face again with an embarrassed blush, “Sorry, you’re just really beautiful.”

Now you’re the one that’s blushing, you’re eyes widening. Flustered and embarrassed you huff and reach down, tugging at the collar of his shirt, “Your turn.”

“Okay okay, impatient much?” He teased before standing up and tugging his shirt off, tossing it across the room. You stare at his defined torso, sculpted from both the gym and hard work.

“You have no right to call me beautiful when you look like that.” You hadn’t actually meant to say it out loud, thinking you would be met with a teasing laugh. Instead you were flicked in the forehead.

“We really need to work on your confidence.” Leon huffed, looking at you with almost a sad look in his eyes.

You furrow your eyebrows and open your mouth to say something but he’s already gone back to playful, leaning down to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear and ask, “Now, do you think you can lay back on the bed for me pretty girl?”

You’re eyes widen at the pet name and you’re automatically nodding, making him smile, “Good, come on I’ll help you.”

He does, he gently lays your head against the pillows and presses kisses along your lips, cheeks, neck and collarbone as he does so. The further down his mouth travels the wetter the kisses become, making goosebumps appear on your skin and small moans escape your mouth.

“There you go princess, just relax.” Leon whispers against your stomach as his fingers slip into the waistband of your sleep shorts, slowly slipping them off.

“Fuck baby, already so wet for me.” He groaned and you couldn’t help but squirm a little as he practically peeled your panties away from your cunt.

You looked up when he leaned away from you, fully pulling your shorts and underwear off and tossing them without looking, fully focused on your dripping center. That alone had you rolling your hips against nothing, making Leon spread your legs and scoot further down the bed to settle between them, “I know baby, I know just keep your legs spread for me okay?”

His tongue licked a long wet stripe between your folds before you could even nod. You let out a loud moan, your hands instantly flying down to tangle in his hair. He groaned against you, the vibrations of his voice making you roll your hips against his face.

You’ve only ever had one guy go down on you and already Leon far surpassed him. You’re back arched as he circles your clit with his tongue before sucking on it, rolling it a little between his lips.

“F-fuck Leon.” You babble breathlessly, your head turning into the pillow.

He continues like that for a little longer until he moves lower, his tongue nudging your entrance until it’s inside of you. Almost immediately you feel that familiar coil in your abdomen, making you moan louder and pull at Leon’s hair, “I’m so close fuck please I’m gonna-“

With his tongue inside of you and his nose nudging your clit, while he moans likes he’s the one being pleasured, you cum hard. You’re back arches almost painfully and you pull him closer to you, riding out the best high of your life.

As you come down you have to pull Leon off of you, his tongue still thrusting inside of you, overstimulating you.

“Sorry baby,” He mumbled, and you get the feeling he isn’t actually sorry. You look down at him and his mouth and chin are completely covered in your slick, and it’s by far the hottest thing you’ve ever seen.

“You feeling okay?”

“Please fuck me.” You beg, reaching down to grab his face and yank him up to you, kissing him despite the mess, “Right now,”

“I planned to.” Leon smirked and gave you another quick kiss before standing up and stepping out of his sweatpants. He was already hard and leaking, and your eyes widened at the sight.

“You had me humping the bed like a teenager there baby, you sounded so hot.” He said reaching into his nightstand drawer and pulling out a condom.

When you raised an eyebrow at the little foil packet he just shrugged, “I like to be prepared.”

You watched as he ripped open the little packet and pulled the condom out, rolling onto his cock after giving it a few strokes.

Leon held his length in his hand, slowly sliding the head through your folds, gathering your slick and working you back up. Soon you were rolling your hips with him, the head of his cock massaging your clit.

“Read baby?” He asked, leaning down so your foreheads were touching.

“Yes.” You moaned, nodding against him.

Leon nodded and leaned back again, watching as he lined himself up with your entrance and slowly pushed in.

“Fuuuuck,” Leon groaned as he watched the head pop inside. Your mouth opened on a silent scream, fists clutching the sheets tightly.

“Hold on to me baby, I’m right here.” Leon whispered, and you immediately wrapped your arms around his shoulders, holding onto him as he slid in more. “There you go princess, just stay with me.”

Once he was all the way inside he stopped moving, letting you adjust to the new feeling of him being inside of you. You honestly couldn’t remember the last time you had sex and the feeling was almost overwhelming.

You took some deep breath’s and tried to keep your body relaxed, trying to remember the pleasure from moments ago and not the pain of right now.

The pillow behind your head crinkles suddenly, and you crack an eye open to see Leon white knuckling it. All at once you’re aware of how much he’s twitching inside of you, how hard he’s breathing and his breathy little moans. He’s trying so hard not to move, and you can’t help but smile.

Maybe you really were worried for nothing.

You tilt your head to the side to whisper in his ear, “You can move.”

“Okay,” He says with a raspy voice and slowly starts to roll his hips, causing both of you to moan.

The rolls of his hips turn into thrusts and soon he has a rhythm, fucking into you with purpose. He almost immediately finds your sweet spot, hitting it every time, making you see stars and claw welts on his back.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good just like I imagined. So perfect, absolutely perfect like this on your back for me moaning my name.”

“L-Leon,” You moan exactly like he said, wrapping your legs around his waist to pull him closer, deeper.

“S-shit baby I don’t think I’m gonna last long,” Leon groans into your neck, fucking into you erratically.

“Me too, fuck I’m gonna-“ You’re second orgasm is ripped from you without warning, making your eye’s roll and your legs shake.

“God!” The feeling of your walls tightening around him pulls Leon right along with you, his hips stuttering as he fills the condom.

He fucks both of you through your orgasms until it becomes too much, and he slowly pulls out of you before flopping down next to you on the bed.

The two of you lay there, panting and boneless, and you try not to think about the gross feeling of your slick drying between your legs.

“Wow.” You mumble, staring at the ceiling.

Leon chuckles, “Yeah, wow.”

You hear what sounds like him pulling off the condom but you’re too exhausted to actually sit up and look.

It’s okay though, because suddenly Leon is leaning next to you, head resting on his arm and and a smile on his face, “So, did that help your worries?”

You turn your head a little too face him and give him a small smile, “Yeah, thank you.”

“Of course, my love.” Leon beamed, leaning down to kiss you, “Now why don’t I run us a bath, hmm?”

“That sounds wonderful.”

This might be my best one yet🤔

#leon kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon re4 #leon kennedy fanfic #leon kennedy x you #leon re2 #resident evil x reader #leon kennedy fluff #leon vendetta #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy smut #leon re6 #leon kennedy x fem reader

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bloatedandalone04 · 6 months

Text

Illicit Affairs

➪the one where leon is yours entirely, even though he is married to someone else.

Warnings: cheating, affairs, swearing, unprotected sex, fluffy sex, mentions of cheating, angst, smut, toxic relationships, small amount of ada slander since that is actually a warning i found out, mentions of divorce and all that fun stuff

Word Count: 3.3k

Do not repost this anywhere, reblogs are fine ♡

Left the door unlocked, just in case. I hope you had a good day.

That was the text Leon is met with as he enters the house he shared with his wife. His thumbs ghosted over the screen, his mind trying to come up with a good enough answer that wouldn’t leave you feeling cheap. There was nothing he could say through text, he decided, and he ended up pocketing his phone and heading towards his bedroom.

Ada was sitting against the headboard, picking at her freshly painted red nails with a dangerous glint in her eyes. Her engagement and wedding rings reflected off the bedside table lamp, and Leon wished he cared enough to remember where he had placed his own wedding band after taking it off many weeks ago, but it held no meaning to him. “Late again, Leon,” she muttered, glaring at him as he entered the room. “What was it this time?”

Leon huffed as he walked towards the dresser. “Work,” he answered and he was being completely truthful, not that she’d ever believe him - which is quite hypocritical, if he had to be honest. He was well aware of the many times she came home late, and the many more times she never came home at all. She was just as bad as him, maybe even worse. “Like last time.”

Ada scoffed, tossing the sheets over her body and crossing her arms. “Liar,”

She was trying to get under his skin, something she has always been able to do, even back when he was twenty one years old. Now at the age of twenty eight, he had no idea why he still continues to put himself through this.

He was so sure that what he felt for the woman was love, but after four years with her, he quickly found out that it was lust. He met her when he was just starting out and had no idea what love even was, but he knew that it wasn’t what he felt for her.

At first he was infatuated with her. It was a cat and mouse game that left him feeling like he could never truly and fully have her, and that was still true to this day.

He married her, and yet she still wasn’t his.

The guys she met at the bar. The men she ran into on missions. The rookies who had information she wanted, but didn’t need. She was all of theirs, as well as Leon’s, but never in full.

Leon kept his back to her as he rolled his eyes and rummaged around in his drawer. “Whatever, Ada,” he muttered, grabbing his grey sweats before opening another drawer.

“Don’t whatever me, Leon,” she seethed. “Don’t act like you haven’t been sneaking around on me. We both know you have. Some poor, naive girl who thinks you’re actually into her but probably doesn’t even know you’re married to me.”

Leon hated the way she was talking about you, and she was once again getting under his skin. He slams the drawer shut loudly after grabbing a black tee, turning towards his wife with a fire in his eyes. “You’re one to talk,” he growls. “You’ve been sleeping around since before we even got married. You haven’t changed, and I was dumb enough to believe you would.”

Ada’s eyes widened a bit but she tried to hide it by sitting up a little straighter.

He caught her, though. And they both knew it. “Yeah,” he laughs, the sound lacking any humor. “Haven’t been as discreet about it as you thought, huh?”

Leon turns to leave the room, but she wasn’t done playing with him, clearly. “Oh, come on, Leon,” she called out, dropping her attitude and making her voice sound sultry. “We both know how good we are together. Just come to bed with me. We can forget all about this.”

She pushes the sheets off her body and crawls over to him, kneeling on the bed and running her hand up his arm. “Ada-”

“Shh,” she purrs, reaching her hands up and capturing his lips in a messy kiss. He doesn’t move at all, even though he wants to pull away, he also wants to prove a point. The fact that this was the first kiss they’ve shared in months should be a clear enough sign that this was completely over. She smirks when she pulls away, licking at her slightly wet lips. “See? You feel that?”

Leon didn’t know what he was supposed to be feeling, but he knew that she was trying to coax him into bed with her so he can fuck her and then pretend like their relationship was a normal and healthy one.

When her hand wanders down his body and is about to touch him through his jeans, his own shoots out and his fingers wrap around her wrist, successfully halting her advances. “I don’t feel a thing,” he says, his voice so serious it had her eyes narrowing as she ripped her hand away from him.

She sat back in disgust, crossing her arms again. “You can’t leave, Leon,” she states, unaware of just how far gone he is from her control over him. He’s detached from her completely and felt nothing for her but resentment. And maybe a little anger at the years he’s wasted chasing after her when she didn’t want him at all.

“I want a divorce, Ada,” he says, voice monotone as he turns away and leaves the room.

She yells harsh words after him but makes no move to stop him, further proving the point that she didn’t care. And neither did he.

Leon hates how much time he’s wasted with her when he could’ve been with you. You could’ve been his, officially, had he not been so afraid to let go of something he’s spent so much of his adulthood holding onto.

He grabs his keys from off the counter, where he had tossed them not even ten minutes ago when he arrived home, and leaves the house, his mind on you as he hastily types out a reply to you and starts his car.

I’m sorry.

You read the text over and over again as you lie on your side in bed.

What was he apologizing for? For stringing you along? For promising he’s going to leave his wife but never does? For not showing up tonight?

The night was still young, so he might still show up, but the fact still stands.

You felt terrible.

Leon’s marriage was an unhappy one, and you knew he found happiness with you, but he hadn’t made it official yet, nor had he broken things off with Ada yet. Was it all a lie? Does he only come to you for an easy lay? For a sense of normalcy?

You weren’t sure you wanted the answer.

Falling in love with him was slowly breaking your heart, but you really didn’t have a choice. Leon was every girl’s dream and only became unfaithful when he grew sick of the lonely nights where his wife went off and fucked half the town.

From what you know, you’re the only person he’s seeing, and that was enough for you to keep on inviting him to come over and escape from that environment.

How Ada could ever take him for granted was beyond you.

You shut off your phone and set it on the nightstand beside you after reading the time. It was nearing twelve in the morning and you were beginning to feel a bit like an idiot after sending that text to him.

It was an invitation to stay at your house, and you even threw in a dumb line about his day, all because you knew Ada didn’t care enough to ask him that herself.

As you begin to get more comfortable in bed, the sound of the front door opening then locking pierces your ears. Your mood lifts considerably at the fact that he had shown up after all, but you also knew you would be met with the same old line of ‘I’m going to break up with her, I promise’.

You really weren’t sure how much more your heart could take.

Quiet footsteps neared your bedroom, where the door slowly creaked open. “Y/n?” His soft voice called out and you just shifted to let him know that you were still awake. Leon kicks off his boots and drops his sweats and tee onto the top of your dresser before pulling the covers back and moving to lay behind you. “Sweetheart.”

“Hi,” you greet quietly, keeping your back to him.

“Hi,” he says back, wrapping his arms around you. “I missed you.”

You stiffen slightly. “Did you?” You ask harshly, instantly regretting it when he doesn’t respond. You turn your head and look back at him, seeing guilt swim in his blue eyes, even in the dark room. Sighing, you turn back around. “I missed you, too.”

Leon could hear the tiredness in your voice, and he knew it wasn’t because of how late it was. He knew it was because of his broken promises of leaving his wife, but never sticking to them. Until now. “Baby,” he called softly, leaning in and pressing a kiss to the side of your head, smiling at the way you lean into his touch. “I asked for a divorce.”

That had your eyes widening and you tried to turn around, but his arms kept you still. “Really?” You ask as you settle against him once again. When he nodded and hummed, you added, “When?”

“Before I came here,” he answered, tangling his legs with yours under the sheets.

Your lips tremble as you try not to get too ahead of yourself. “Leon,” you nearly whisper.

“It’s over,” he confirmed, kissing your head again. “I promise, this is the last time. She doesn’t mean anything to me anymore.”

“And me?” You felt selfish for asking, but you needed to know that you weren’t the only one feeling this between you and him.

Leon’s hand slides under your shirt as he pulls your body closer to his. “You’re my girl,” he mumbles. “And I love you.”

Your head turns again and you keep your back to his chest as you grin. “You love me?”

He nods, leaning in and brushing his lips against yours. “So much,”

Reaching behind you, your hand tangles in his hair as you pull his head closer to yours. “I love you, too,” you confess, pressing your lips to his afterwards in a kiss that was all smiles. “I missed you, Leon.”

Leon runs his hand higher up your body and strokes the undersides of your breasts. “I missed you, too,” he says as he kisses along your neck. “I thought about you all day.”

“Leon,” you hummed, gripping his hair tighter as his fingers began to tease your nipples. His thumb and index finger gently pinch and pull at the buds, making your legs squeeze around his. “God.”

With the arm that is pinned under your body, his fingers continue to tease your chest while his other hand slides down your body. “I need you, sweetheart,” he nearly begs. “Please.”

He couldn’t remember the last time he had felt like this about Ada, and it was clear that you had completely changed his perspective on what a real, happy relationship looked and felt like.

You remove your hand from his hair and wrap your fingers around his wrist, sliding his hand lower down your body until he is softly rubbing your clit through your panties. “Take me, Leon,” you request in a whisper, reaching behind you so you could gently palm him through his jeans. “I’m yours.”

Leon kisses you deeply, sliding his hand in between the lace and your skin so he could properly tease your clit. “All mine,” he stated when you pulled away and moaned. “‘M all yours, too, baby.”

You whimper when his index finger gathered up your wetness before sinking into you knuckle deep. “Leon,” you moan quietly, struggling to unzip his jeans from the position, but somehow managing to.

“God, you’re so perfect,” he murmured, kissing your shoulder blade. He thrusts his finger a couple of times before adding his middle and allowing his thumb to rub bruising circles onto your clit. “Everything I could ever want.”

This is how it’s supposed to be.

You never pressured him to do anything, never forced anything or broke his trust in any way. It felt so right with you, like how a relationship should.

He didn’t have to force himself to love you, that was something that came naturally, and quite quickly.

Running into you at that bar nearly seven months ago was one of the best things that has ever happened to him, and he wouldn’t take that day back for anything in the whole world.

“Leon,” you moan and it’s the sweetest sound he’s ever heard. “Please, fuck, I need you.”

“I’m right here,” he promised, kissing the side of your head as he slowed down the fucks of his hand in order to help your own rid him of his uncomfortable jeans. “You want this?” He asks, just to be sure you weren’t thinking this was all he came here for.

Really, he would’ve been completely content with spending the night fully clothed and in your arms, but he was also more than okay with ending his day with you wrapped around him.

“I want this,” you kiss him deeply, the angle making your neck hurt a bit but you don’t care. You kick off your panties as you ask, “Do you?”

Another thing he wasn’t used to, the question of consent that sounded so sweet coming from you. “Always,” he answered, kissing you again when you reached back and pulled him free before guiding him to your slick entrance. He slips into you with a deep groan, the quiet gasp you emit making his head spin in the best way. “I love you. I’m sorry I made you wait so long.”

You shake your head and reach back to grip his hair as he pulls your leg to rest over his. “I think I would’ve waited forever, Leon,” you confessed as he began to slowly rock into you.

He grunted quietly at your words and felt his whole body heat up, as well as his heart begin to race. He had never felt this way before, and he was glad he had found the person to experience this with at a still young age.

Leon didn’t ever want to let you go after the first night he met you, and that only intensified as the months went on. “Yeah?” He asked as his hand settled on your hip, his other arm wrapping tightly around you. “I can promise you this, baby, I wouldn’t have made you wait that long. But I love you for telling me that.”

You lean back and kiss him, your brows furrowing at the slow fucks of his hips. “I love you, too, Leon,” you say back, placing your hand on his that was still tightly gripping your waist. “I just want you to be happy.”

He kissed along your neck, his teeth nipping at various spots. “You make me happy,” he rasped, pulling your body impossibly closer to his as he loved on you in more ways than one. “I’ve never been happier.”

You moan at his words, your heart swelling with pride and a bit of shock at the fact that you were, it seems like, the only person who truly has his entire heart, and the only one who has made him feel like this.

At the sound of Leon’s quiet grunts, you allow yourself to lean back and against him completely, the assurance that he was yours entirely after tonight at the front of your mind.

“You make me happy, too,” you say as you bury the side of your face in your pillow. Leon hums in response, pushing your hair away from your neck with his nose before kissing the skin there. “Leon…can I?”

He opens his eyes and looks down at you, noting the way your head was turned so your lips were ghosting against the base of his throat. Without you even finishing your question, he knew what you were asking, and he somehow got even more turned on at your request.

A deep grunt leaves his mouth as he nods, gripping your hip tightly and thrusting into you. “Yeah, baby,” he answered. You smile and moan quietly before kissing his neck, your lips teasing his spotless skin. He grunts again, tilting his head a bit and exposing more of his neck to you. “Do it, baby. Please.”

You give in and suck a mark onto the base of his throat, feeling the pulse of his heartbeat against your lips as you stay there for a bit. He groaned loudly, and the thought of Ada seeing the hickey when he returned back to her with divorce papers sent his mind into a frenzy. He wanted her to see it after seemingly assuming that he had no one other than her. Oh, how wrong she is.

Pulling away with a lopsided grin, you bury your face in the pillow again when he sped up the pace of his hips.

He couldn’t wait for this to become his normal life soon. The sound of your sweet moans filling your room played on repeat in his head whenever he was away from you, and your kind smile was the only thing he thought about when he went to sleep.

“You’re everything I want,” he promised as his hand slipped from your waist and found your clit once again. Your body shuddered against his as a loud moan left your mouth, and you reached a hand down to grip his wrist. “Everything to me.”

“Leon,” you whimper and arch your back a bit as you feel your high quickly approach. Your hand wraps tighter around his wrist as your moans increase in volume, chanting a multitude of “Please.”

“You close, sweet girl?” He asked, already knowing the answer as he felt you clench helplessly around him.

“Yes,” you replied in a breathy whisper, pulling his hand from in between your legs and pressing it against your chest. “Please, Leon.”

He wraps his hand around your breast, his thumb rubbing against your nipple through your shirt. You cry out and he feels your walls spasm a bit as you come around him, your core sucking him in even deeper and begging him to mark it as his own. “Good girl,” he praised, kissing all along your neck while you writhe against him. “Good girl, baby.”

“Leon,” you whispered, leaning back into him again and turning your head so you can brush your lips against his.

“I know,” he rasped, fucking you through your sensitivity. “‘M gonna come, too, baby.”

“I want it,” you begged, tangling your hand in his hair.

And he would never deny you of something you wanted.

He groaned and cursed under his breath, his thrusts halting altogether as he leaned down to kiss you again. You moan against his mouth, your fingers gently massaging his head as you both came down from your highs.

When he pulled out of you, your body turned to face his. Wrapping your arms around his shoulders, you kiss him deeply and tangle your legs with his again. “You really mean it? It’s really over between you and her?” You ask quietly when you break the kiss, your fingers gently tracing his jawline.

Leon turned his head and kissed your fingertips as he nodded. “It’s over, sweetheart,” he swore, kissing your forehead after. “I’m all yours. I always was.”

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amber-sekio · 2 months

Text

Relationship Headcanons

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

TW: none? I think?

DAZAI

I said it in my Soukoku fic, Dazai wouldn’t know affection if it slapped him in the face ten times

Like he might realize when someone is showing interest in a sexual kind

And he would probably notice if someone is crushing on him

But like, if he likes them back?

Man is blind

He’s too busy panicking over read denying his own thoughts and feelings over you to analyze your actions

He’s busy trying to think of anything but how pretty you are when he sees you -thank you very much

No joke though, this can be applied to pretty much anyone he cares about

I mean he practically had a heart attack when Atsushi gave him flowers

Anyways if he finally admits to himself that he likes you then I could see him trying to push you away if I’m being brutally honest

He doesn’t want to lose you and he believes that anything he wants that he obtains, will be striped from him sooner or later

But…, in a perfect world he would eventually work up the courage to ask you out

He would probably avoid directly asking you but this is Dazai so he could defiantly figure out some round-about way to ask

As for the relationship?

He would still be his teasing self

But he would tone it down

Not because he doesn’t want to annoy you but more so because he actually lets some of his masks down when alone with you

He defiantly is very clingy to you

Man has been touch starved for a long time and he fears attachment too much to be touchy with the ADA members

But now he has you, who not only tolerates him but has decided to stay with him?

Of course he’s not going to let this chance slip from his grasp before all this inevitably ends (he’s still in denial)

He never cared much for holidays like Christmas or Valentines

But now he wants to experience them, with you

He’s always thinking, plans and outcomes racing through his mind, what ifs and regrets

But like, if you ruffle his hair, his brain just stops.

Like no thoughts, he short circuits

When his brain returned to him the first time it happened he panicked

Like, who gave you that amount of control?

After that first time he continued to try and get you to do it without asking

He needed his brain to shut up every now and then, and now he has a reliable source

Anyways, he likes to be a spoiled princess

No one can change my mind

For all his predictions he will never be able to predict your love and kindness for him

CHUUYA

Someone give this poor man a hug

Ugh, my heart

I can‘t imagine him wanting to date a normal citizen, too much of a risk

So you’d probably have to work in the Mafia

Even then, dating you would still be placing a huge target on you

He would actually take you out on dates before asking you out

Dates with him would be romantic

Like dinner by candle light vibes

He’d be strategic on where you guys sit

No need to be precarious on what you order, it’s all on him

When he does ask you out he would be slightly flustered but it just makes him adorable

Say yes, he doesn’t deserve to be hurt any more

He would spoil you to no end

If you want it, you can have it

You’re the only one allowed to call him short

He might get flustered from PDA in the start but will gradually warm up to it

Nothing clingy, just hand holding, a hand around your waist, a quick kiss here or there

But if he sees some guy hitting on you?

Down right possessive, arm snug around your waist, shoulder to shoulder

And if he’s drunk? Even worse

Like he’s pulling you onto his lap just to make sure that asshole knows your taken

If you do work in the mafia with him, he likes going on easier missions with you

And while he knows that you can handle yourself just fine, he can’t help but imagine something bad happening to you when he isn’t there to save you

He’s lost too many people in his life, please, don’t leave him as well

He loves when you rest your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat

And while you do that he’ll run his fingers through your hair

Chuuya loves to spoil you rotten as I stated, it’s his love language

So sometimes he’ll just hand you his black card and let you go shopping with friends or something

In fact, he encourages you to buy what you want

FYODOR

Honestly? Where do I start with him?

Like congratulations if you meet him and make it out alive

I don’t know if I should congratulate him taking an interest in you though

I feel like he believe that the interest he had in you was purely innocent curiosity

But I also don’t think he would try to delude himself for as long as Dazai does

Eventually he would notice that something was different about his interest for you than usual

And while he would hesitate to put a name to it so quickly he would eventually give in after realizing there was no stoping this feeling from festering in him

After coming to terms with his romantic? Feelings and interest in you he would definitely begin to manipulate you into feeling the same way for him

If you don’t already that is

If you don’t confess then he’ll definitely do the same thing Dazai did

And when you agree, he of course knew you would, he makes you move in with him

He can’t let his dearest other slip from his finger now can he?

I feel like before ever getting into a relationship, you would have been made aware of his ‘work’

Please, make sure the man eats

And takes his iron pill

Nikolai is getting a little tired of that daily routine despite how much he loves to be around Fyodor

Anyways, dates aren’t a very common thing in fact, very, very rare

I mean… what did you expect?

Man’s a literal terrorist

That being said, from time to time he’ll leave his ‘lair’ to spend time with you

If you ask, he’ll gladly play the cello for you

If he snaps at you for ‘bothering him with pointless things’ when you bring him his iron pill or food just listen

Don’t bother him with such things

And then same thing the next day

And after some 4 or 5 days he’ll stumble from his room

Staggering as he tries not to collapse or faint from both his lack of energy and his iron deficiency

And when he walks into the kitchen trying to get the iron pill bottle open?

Let him stumble his way over to you and ask for help before you finally do as such

And he realizes just how dependent on you he’s become

It’ll happen again eventually

But as of that moment, it’ll at least be awhile before the cycle repeats

(That last part of Fyodor’s was based upon some fanfic I read for him. I'm not sure who it was by, but I’ll tag it if and when I do find it.)

A/N: anyways, believe it or not, I love Chuuya just as much as I do Fyodor and Dazai

I’m just not as confident in his character. Since I’m a lot like Dazai, he comes easy to me and by substitute, Fyodor does as well

But Chuuya? Despite him being one of my 5 favorites along with Dazai and Fyodor, I just don’t resonate personally enough with him to write him really well

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fancyfeathers · 3 months

Note

Could you do the lawyer of ADA, they deal with Dazai a lot. They managed to get taken by the Guild as a hostage, instead of freaking out they actually relax and treat it like a vacation. Some of the Guild members are confused until ADA calls them to negotiate but Dazai takes over asking about the legal ramifications of a fire he may have caused, but in his defense it was half on fire when he got involved. Fukuzawa grabs the phone off him and requests to speak to Fitzgerald. Instead of tea the lawyer asks for whiskey on rocks.

This has both platonic (children) and romantic (adults) yanderes

You could hear the irritating voice of Dazai from the other end of the the phone, he was so loud despite Fukuzawa having the phone. Fitzgerald sits on the couch across from you, and he even looked annoyed from hearing Dazai’s voice and he’s not even used to it like you. You could hear Fukuzawa’s voice, trying to negotiate with Fitzgerald dispute the chaos in the background. Fitzgerald rubbed his temples before cutting the president off.

“Listen old sport, let me think about your offer and you can call me back once you get a proper handle on your employees.” There was a brief noise on the other end of the line that sounded like yelling but it was cut off by Fitzgerald hanging up. He looked at you and shook his head with that charming smile. “I’ll be honest I don’t know how you deal with that all.”

“It takes the patience of a saint.”

“Then I must be the devil.” He waved over a maid in the room telling her to get him some tea and then he looked at you. “Would you like anything?”

“Whiskey.”

“This early?”

“After that headache I need it.”

Honestly being held captive, if you could call it that, by the Guild, was much better than the in and out of your job at the Armed Detective Agency. You have tried to quit in the past but somehow Dazai would be on the same train you took home, Kenji would run into you at the farmer’s market, or even the siblings at the convenience store by your house which was odd since you lived on the other end of the city that the Agency was on. Those were the milder cases, there were the other times where Kunikida would accidentally run into you in the middle of a job, or when you fell down the stairs in the park and Dr. Yosano just happened to be there. It felt like every misfortune in your life was tied to the agency and they were just pulling you back. Being held hostage was actually nice, sure you had to be under surveillance by some Guild member, normally this was one of two young men, John Steinbeck or Mark Twain, and they were nice enough. But honestly Fitzgerald had you treated very well, not like any other hostage situations you have been in.

“Well while they pull themselves together I have a proposal for you.” Fitzgerald said as the maid went to get your drinks. “The only real reason you’re here is because that’s the only way I could discuss this with you.”

“Smart, but the legal ramifications of it will be-“

“Extreme, I can deal with that, nothing a bit of money can’t erase.” He cut you off, chuckling under his breath. “You know the dirt of the Armed Detective Agency, if you start working for me I can get you out.”

“You want me to betray the agency?”

“I’ve seen your employment records, you have quit from there multiple times, but have always come back within two weeks. Correct me if I’m wrong but you’re trapped and want to get out.”

He was right, you couldn’t even lie about that. You wanted to get out, the detective agency was only going to be a temporary job while you discussed potential employment with law firms in Yokohama and even Tokyo. Those few weeks turned into months, and those months into years, and not one of those law firms wanted to take you, almost that they were afraid of you. You had your suspicions after Dazai was smiling a little too wide after you received another letter of rejection, but you could never confirm it. Your hands curled into fists, grabbing the fabric of the skirt you were wearing.

“…that’s correct.”

“I thought so, well if you agree to this, you will be free from the agency, I will be sure to get U.S. citizenship for you within the week if you so wish for it, and law firms lined up with jobs for you, or if you’d like you could continue work for the Guild and you could have more money than you would know what to do with.” The maid finally came, setting your drinks on the coffee table between the two of you. Fitzgerald picks up your drink and hands it to you and then his cup of tea and takes a long sip. “You’re free to reject, but if you do you’ll have to deal with the agency again, likely for the rest of your life-”

“Deal.” You never answered faster in your life, if you got away from the agency you would be free to spend your life how you wanted. Fitzgerald smiled, but his eyes had a dangerous glint to them.

“Prove it.”

He wanted dirt, so what could you give them? Kenji, Kunikida, Atsushi, Ranpo, and the Tanizaki siblings had next to nothing on them, The President had his past as an assassin, then Yosano who had a bit of a past in the war, there was Dazai with- actually you wouldn’t dare expose that out of fear for your life. Who was left?

Your stomach sank in realization…

But you couldn’t keep living like this…

“Kyoka Izumi, she used to be in the Port Mafia, she was used as an assassin due to her ability and killed a total of 35 people in 6 months.”

You heard the phone ring again, as if almost on cue with your words. You jumped slightly as if you got caught exposing your deepest darkest secret. You watched as Fitzgerald leaned over and picked up the phone and answered as you sipped on your drink in an attempt to calm your nerves. You could hear Fukuzawa say something on the other end of the line, something about an amount of money but Fitzgerald cut him off.

“There has been some changes to the deal old sport, see it seems Miss (Name) doesn’t want to work for you anymore so I have no use for her a hostage anymore.” You watched as Fitzgerald reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a gun, you felt like you were about to be sick. He did not aim it at you though, just at a wall and he shot it off… he made it seem like you died. “Goodbye.”

You could hear the yelling like last time on the other end of the line as he hung up, only now it was panicked and worried, but no matter how much you tried you couldn’t make out the voice of Dazai, that alone made you scared.

Fitzgerald picked up his tea cup again and raised it up in a toast. “Here to new beings.”

With your mind being elsewhere, both in fear, guilt, and relief, you could only manage a small. “ya.”

You did not know what would happen next but at least now you were free, you had your life back again and that was worth celebrating…

“Welcome to the Guild, Miss (Name).”

#yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere bsd #bungou stray dogs x reader #yandere dazai #yandere kunikida #yandere ranpo #yandere yosano #yandere fukuzawa

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yourstrulyrika · 3 months

Note

rika <3 was wondering if u could write smth about leon reassuring reader? maybe she insecure, thinks that leon deserves someone better (ada maybe?)

you are sooo sweet to us all, i hope you are taking care of yourself!! xoxo

hello ♡ of course!! i actually love this concept, been thinking about this, so ofc! also love you too ♡ i’m glad all of you are following me!!

no warnings, pure fluff and comfort. heavy mentions of insecurity and mental struggles though. reader is hinted to be Leon’s mission partner, but not stated directly!! re4r!Leon :3

you’re insecure, to say the least. always thinking you’re not good enough, that you’re ugly, undeserving— and then there’s Leon. the most perfect man you laid your eyes on, and he’s your boyfriend. he loves you, more than life itself — but even when he tells you that, you don’t quite believe it. Leon is honest, sure, but what if he’s just saying this? what if he just doesn’t want to make you upset? those thoughts keep nagging your head. your mind is your own hell.

and there’s also Ada. Ada Wong — Leon has said so many times they don’t share anything, that he doesn’t like her that way.She’s just the part of his life he can’t get rid of—

and that mere sentence strengthened your doubts. it got worse. so much worse.

you saw her like once in your life, and the way Leon looks at her. you started thinking he loves her, doubts eating you alive. Ada is so much prettier, so much better, smarter, stronger— the list can go on. you hate it. what if Leon likes her more and is with you out of pity? after all, he knows Ada for long years right? You know about the kiss— he says it was just Ada using his feelings and all that. you did not believe him. not one fucking bit.

since then, your mind has created a whole new scenario that Leon doesn’t love you. you can’t help it. you started isolating yourself, closing yourself in your own world and not speaking to him. any attemps at conversation coming from Leon were futile. you just couldn’t find it in yourself to speak. why would he want to speak with you anyway? he has Ada, right? she’s so much better.

but, Leon was going insane. losing his damn mind over this. he knew something was going on. why won’t you talk to him? what’s going on— why are you so damn quiet? pushing him away? he feels so confused, but also so stressed out over this. what happened? what did he do wrong?

he tried talking to you, but you just.. won’t budge. and he feels so damn horrible. he just wants to wrap you in his arms and comfort you.

“Please, just speak to me. Baby? Please, I beg you. I love you, you know that, right?”

you hear his words, but you don’t respond. why can’t he just go away? obviously he’s lying.

but he just gets so damn frustrated. he’s growing fucking desperate. your doors are locked— not letting him in. but he won’t let you isolate yourself any further. he literally breaks down the door to reach you, finding you laying down on the bed.

he kneels down beside your bed, reaching out to take your hand in his. when you don’t reach back, he frowns, but doesn’t push any further. instead, he lets you have your own space.

“What’s going on? Please, talk to me. No matter how silly you think it is.” he’s genuine when saying this. he genuinely cares about you so damn much, wants you to be happy with him.

you hesitate to respond, mumbling out a single “Ada Wong.”

and it was enough to hit him with a damn reality check. you were insecure about Ada. you were always insecure, but surely Ada’s appearance didn’t help. the way he’s looking at you, so sweet and loving, it tells you he understands. he stands up, sitting on the bed to cup your cheeks.

“Oh baby. I’m so sorry. So fucking sorry.” that’s all he says while looking into your eyes to make sure you understand what he’s saying.

“I know what you think. I can see it right in your eyes. But please, don’t think she means anything to me. She’s a part of my past, sure, but she’s just the past. What matters is right now — and right now, you’re mine. I don’t feel anything towards Ada. That feeling left years ago. Please, let me prove it to you.” he says as he presses his lips to your forehead, interlocking your fingers together. you let him in, let him hold you. and he’s so damn happy over this — so desperate to reassure you.

“I missed holding you so much, princess. I love you, and only you. I’m all yours — everything I have, it’s also yours. My body, my heart, my soul belongs to you.” he whispers in your ear, laying down beside you, turning your position a little so you face him while he holds you.

“And I don’t want anyone else. No one. All I see is you. Everyone else just don’t matter to me. You’re all I want.” he’s peppering your face with little kisses, hoping you hear him out. he makes sure you fall asleep that night, in his arms. he’s holding you in his arms through the whole night, not letting go.

“There’s no one better than you. Not even Ada, Jill, Claire— no one. No. One.” he says this firmly, making sure you understand. or at least tries to get it into your head. he’s so hopelessly in love with you, literally could die for you. one could say he’s almost obsessed— in a way, he is. he thinks about you 24/7, even on his missions, when about to sleep, when training.

he falls asleep eventually, once you’re asleep— and when he wakes up, and sees you awake, he’s already all over you.

“Please, don’t leave me. Never leave.” he begs you; you can see how desperate he is. you never see him so open with his feelings. but he just can’t handle the thought of you leaving, he’s so damn terrified about this. looking at you with vulnerable, soft eyes, pleading you to understand. he loves you with his entire heart, and he means it.

“I won’t. I love you, too.”

you say, and that much is enough for him to pull you into a kiss. a deep, loving kiss where pours all his love into. it lasts until both of you are breathless, but even then, he doesn’t want to let go. lets you catch your breath, before pulling you into another kiss. locking your lips with his own, cupping your face. when he pulls away, he looks at you again, with a soft smile on his face.

“Let’s have a lazy day today, okay? I just want to pamper you, show you I love you so much. Just let me take care of you — I want to make sure you won’t ever doubt yourself over Ada again.”

#leon kennedy #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x you #resident evil x you #resident evil x reader

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mncxbe · 5 months

Note

hiii! i hope ur requests are open and if theyre not im very sorry and ignore this!

ive been thinking too much about dazai with a younger reader whos 15 and reminds him a lot of himself. like he remembers what oda said and becomes determined to steer u down the right path

overall becomes a sweet (but very annoying sometimes) big brother figure <333

nonnie♡♡ this is hhh such a nice idea I went a bit silly with it hope u like it. he would definitely try to bring you on the right path. to make things even more interesting let's assume you're from the PM.

The two of you met when he was out on a mission with Atsushi. Naturally, he paid no attention to you, a little scrawny kid scrolling on her phone, walking in their direction. But that was until you suddenly attacked them.

You were so relentless in your fight that you ended up badly injured, so they had to take you back to the Ada office to get treated by Yosano. After all, a Port Mafia member or not, Dazai couldn't bring himself to let a kid die.

When you eventually woke up in the infirmery you saw him standing at the edge of your bed, arms crossed in front of his chest as he watched you intently.

"You feeling better kid?" he asked and you only nodded in response, eyes darting around the room, taking in your surroundings.

Dazai noticed the cunning look on your face, the way you scanned the room for possible escapes while still maintaining a nonchalant facade and couldn't help but chuckle.

"Now, now don't worry kid. We'll let you go as soon as you answer some questions"

Dazai asked you about your mission and your involement with your Port Mafia; routine questions mostly: how you ended up working for them, who you serve under, how long you've been with the PM- things to which you gave a half-hearted, disinterested response. But you refused to get into detail about the organization's plans; no matter how much he persuaded you and tried to get inside your head, you just wouldn't break.

With each calculated reply Dazai saw more of his younger self in you; the innate ability to lie like it was your second nature, the way you managed to turn any conversation in your favour and mostly, how impassive you were to any of his threaths.

"You know, if you refuse to cooperate I'm gonna have to get the information out of you in other ways"

You simply sighed, idly picking at your nails. "Well, pain would be bothersome, but I'd rather die than betray the Mafia"

Dazai saw an opening, a slight crack in your carefully built facade "So you're that afraid of what they might do to you if they find out you're a traitor?"

"Nah, but I prefer to stay true to the things I believe in. After all, does life have any value if you give up on your beliefs?"

There it was, the answer he was looking for. Sighing, he rose to his feet, staring down at you "That's quite grim for a kid your age to say."

"I don't think it's grim. More like honest, but who am I to discuss the value of life with you?" you said casually, pointing at his bandages.

"Oh wow touché" he chuckled "But what exactly are those values you're so keenly holding on to, some principles passed down to you by the boss? Can you really call those things values?"

"Sure I can. As long as they give me a purpose to live" For a brief moment you caught a shadow of doubt on the brunette's face. He was conflicted, you could tell.

"You know" he started again "I once thought the same as you do, that good and evil don't matter as long as you do a job and get it done well, but violence and death only give birth to more violence and death. It's a vicious cycle, really, so don't expect to find a purpose or a reason to live in that."

You lowered your gaze, continuing to pick at your nails and he knew the conversation was over. He wasn't gonna get anything out of you.

"Look, kid, you're wasting yourself in there. If you want a reason to live I can give it to you"

"And why would you do that? You don't seem the type to do charity work?"

"Let's just say that that's my purpose in life, to guide people like you on the right path"

"People like me? Meaning petty criminals working for the Mafia?" you inquired mockingly, raising a brow.

Dazai scoffed at your remark "We both know you're more than a petty criminal, but yes. People like you, who don't take life for granted and want to understand its meaning."

"So now you can psychoanalyse me too hm? Are you gonna tell me this mentality of mine comes from the fact that I grew up without a father figure or...?"

Your witty remarks were starting to get to him, a faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"Nah, it comes from the fact that all you've seen in your life is evil and look where this has gotten you. Five years in the Mafia and you're still where you were at the beginning, still searching for a deeper meaning in life. We're more alike than you may think, kid. As I said, I used to be in the same position you're in"

You shrugged, feigning disinterest, but he could tell his words were affecting you.

"And your point is?"

Taking in a deep breath, Dazai combed a hand through his hair "My point is that you should leave the Mafia and join us. Change your perspective. If finding a purpose in life truly is your goal, then you won't regret this decision. Trust me"

You both stood in silence for a while as you considered his proposal. You could technically leave the Mafia, it's not like working there has gotten you anywhere. No matter how many missions you completed or how fast you climbed the ladder, there was still a nagging feeling that you could do more, that there was more to life than this.

You finally raised your gaze to meet his and gave a small nod. "I'll think about it."

"Good, you do that, kid"

Dazai helped you out of the bed and walked you to the front of the building. You left without even saying goodbye, making your way down the street; towards the Port Mafia headquarters. Dazai watched you slowly walk away, your figure growing smaller with each step you took and somewhere deep down he was sure he'd see you again.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd x reader #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #dazai bsd #dazai x reader #bsd port mafia

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thefallennightmare · 6 months

Text

Miracle-seventeen

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warnings/Tropes: forced proximity, slight enemies to lovers, slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, mentions of death, and swearing.

Summary: Reader is the merch girl for Bad Omens. It wasn't what she wanted to do with her life but when her mother got sick with Alzheimer's, reader took a job where she could to help with the costs. She thought it would be a one-time gig but the longer she was on the road with them, the harder she fell for Noah Sebastian; even if he wanted nothing to do with her. She needed a miracle to save her mom and her future.

Author Note: To be honest, I wanted a bit better birthday shout-out to Noah. But the day got away from me so that'll have to do.

Tags: @ada-clarence @nonamessblog @thescarlettvvitch @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @theoneandonlykymberlee @yumikitten @blackveilomens @cherrymedicine13 @thebadchic @notmaddihealy @jay02bo @beaker1636 @jakekiszkasguitarpick @punk-pr1ncessxoxo @er3nslovergirl @iamdesolate @lma1986 @jessitpwk @themodern-daywednesday @writethrough @bngurngheart @dreams-that-are-anwsered @loeytuan98 @omens-in-reverse @loverofagoodbeard @jay02bo @niicoleleigh

Alone.

Lonley.

Comfortless.

That's what I was. No one to turn to in my time of desperation. No one to comfort me when I was seconds away from a breakdown. No one to pull me out of the darkness that I was so close to succumbing too. The pain was eating away at my heart, gnawing and scraping at the part of my soul that I fought so hard to protect.

Both parents dead.

A brother that didn't care for a relationship with me, only wanted whatever our mother left him.

An ex that hurt me with the things he said. Yet my heart yearned to feel his warm embrace around me, to feel his adoration-filled gaze drink me in. To feel his lips on mine again even if it's one final time.

"Now I believe Y/N has some words to say."

My heavy eyes lifted from my hands that were placed in my lap as I stared blankly at the man on top of the stage next to my mother's casket. He was rambling on about how wonderful my mother was and the life she had created with my and her husband. I nearly vomited in my mouth at that, being one of the few that knew the truth. Everything my mother created was a lie; me included.

I noticed Lana turn her head towards me as she sat in the pew to the right of me but refused to meet her gaze. The small room in the funeral home was packed with everyone who knew my mother but yet, I sat alone in the pew in the front row in front of the stage. It was common in a funeral that the first pew was reserved for the immediate family of the one that died and I was the only one left, hence why I was alone.

No one left but me. What's the point of this anymore? It is even worth it?

A large hand squeezed my shoulder from behind and when I gazed at it, a small tattoo of black angel wings came into view, along with the large array of other tattoos. Peering up farther, I noticed Noah nodding towards me with a face full of concern.

"Angel," he gave my shoulder a squeeze.

I had to blink a few times because I almost forgot that he was here along with Folio, Nick, and Jolly who sat with him in the pew behind me. Turning around even farther, I saw Bryan, Matt, Davis, and other members of the crew that I worked with sitting in the surrounding pews. My cold heart suddenly felt warm and full at the sight of all of them here for me.

"Miss,'' the man on the stage spoke again. "Do you have any words you would like to say about your mother?"

Fucking loads.

Noah gave another squeeze to my shoulder. "You know you don't have to, right?"

"I know," my voice came out broken. "But if I don't, what would these people think?"

"Since when did you start caring about what other people thought of you?," he asked with the corner of his mouth turning up slightly.

I never did until Noah snaked his way into my heart and soul. Now the only person I cared about what he thought about me said some of the most hurtful things ever to me yet here I was offering his comforting touch and gaze. Was I pathetic for allowing him to do this? I told him to stay out of my life and meant it. But the second I saw his bright brown eyes, I nearly melted into him again; like I always did.

Noah was a vice that I couldn't quit no matter how bad it might be for me.

"Uh," I cleared my throat while turning back to the man on the stage. "I don't think I will. We can move on."

He nodded before he told the guests that now they can come up row by row to offer their condolences once more before we headed to the cemetery for the burial process. Once that was finished, we would head back to my house for the wake where I would have to be a proper homeowner and welcome these strangers into my home so they can ramble on about how much my mom meant to them and how they'll be sending me their thoughts and prayers.

A bunch of bullshit. No one knew the truth.

"Dear, you should stand so you can thank people for coming," Lana said as she came to stand in front of my pew.

Numbly, I nodded while slowly standing to my feet. This was the last thing I wanted to do but knew I had to. It wasn't so bad with the first few people who came to shake my hand but after the sixth 'I'll keep you in my prayers. She was a wonderful woman' I couldn't take it anymore and felt my knees about to give way. Until strong arms wrapped around my shoulders to keep me upright and a soft voice cooed in my ear.

"I'm right here as long as you'll let me."

Noah looked at me with pleading eyes and for a moment, I let the anger I felt for him subside and allowed him to stand with me as person after person came by to do the same shit the one before them did. It fell on deaf ears the longer it went on.

Noah still had an arm around my shoulder, fingers grazing over my arm, when Lana came up to me once the last person offered their condolences.

"You must be Mr. Sebastian?" She looked at Noah with stern eyes.

He nodded. "You can call me Noah."

Lana gave him a long once over before turning her gaze to me. "I'm going to head back to the house to make sure everything is set up for the wake. Do you need me to get you anything?"

"No, I'm okay," I gave a small smile to assure her.

"You make sure she makes it to the cemetery then back to the house?" Lana asked Noah.

He pulled me closer into his chest and I wrapped myself around him, letting his warmth quiet the voices in my mind.

"Of course."

The cold October air chilled around my ankles as I stared down at the now filled grave. The crowd of people were slowly dispersing to head back to my house; all but four. They stood behind me as they let me take all the time I needed before leaving.

One the way to the cemetery, I rode with the guys in Noah's car sitting in the passenger seat while he drove. Silence filled the entire car as his hand rested on my knee, his gaze bouncing to me every once in a while. I never once looked in his direction or removed his hand from my knee. The voices in my mind screamed at me to push him away, to tell him to go fuck himself, but I couldn't listen to them; I refused to listen to them. Noah was exactly what I needed right now and if I pushed him away, I was afraid of what I would do.

He hurt you. How can you forgive him for that?

Because he came. He's here right now even knowing I'm pissed at him. Even when I told him to stay away.

But how long would he stay? The Europe tour starts in a few weeks, without you.

I forced the negative thoughts of out my mind with one long, deep breath, to focus on the good. They were here now, and that's all that mattered. But that didn't mean I was ready to completely forgive Noah yet.

"Hey," a hand grasped mine. "You ready?"

Looking over to Folio, I gave him a weak smile. "Is it bad that I don't feel the need to say something?"

He shook his head. "Not at all. You're still full of all that anger. Once it clears, you might find the need to say something. But take your time with it, don't rush the grieving process."

"You guys didn't have to stay," I said while looking behind me to see Jolly, Nick, and Noah still standing there.

Noah gave me a warm smile. "We're not going anywhere, angel."

My heart fluttered but before I could respond, movement over his shoulder caught my gaze and I stilled.

James stepped forward with his hands in the pockets of his jacket. "Alright, which one of these guys is your boyfriend? Or is it all of them?"

"I told you to stay away," I scowled while standing my ground against him.

"You can't keep me from our mother's grave, Y/N. I'm not going anywhere until I get what I'm owed," his eyes sliced into me.

Folio shared a look with Noah, who immediately stepped right up next to me to place a hand on my lower back.

"You alright?" He asked me.

"This is James, my mom's other kid," I introduced, not daring to call him my brother.

James looked between Noah and I, a questioning light beneath the darkness of his eyes.

"So, you're the boyfriend," he muttered.

My lips parted but Noah was first to answer. "I don't see how that's any of your business."

Hearing him not deny James' observation made something twinge in my gut and heart flutter.

"Well," James motioned towards me. "I have some private matters to discuss so if you'll excuse us."

When he reached for me, I reared back behind Noah, who immediately stepped up into James' face.

"Unless Y/N wants us too, we're not leaving," Noah said.

"We have nothing to talk about, James. I already told you that my mom didn't leave you anything in her will. The only thing she left besides her mounds of debt was the house," I spoke over Noah's shoulder.

"I find that hard to believe."

I scoffed. "Why do you care so much? You're clearly doing fine money wise. What could you possibly want?"

"The house will sell pretty fast, great turn around and profit." James shrugged. "But of course, I need you to sign it over to me."

Before I was willing to give him the house for free but now knowing he was only wanting it for the money, I refused. Yes the house held all the bad memories of my mom but it also held the memories of where I grew up with my father; the one who raised me even after knowing the truth.

"I'd rather chew glass," I spoke through gritted teeth. "If my mom wanted to give you the house, she would have."

A muscle in James' jaw ticked. "You probably coerced her."

"How?! She had Alzheimers!" I snapped, voice raising to echoing levels. "I couldn't even get her to remember who she was, let alone have her sign the house over to me! Maybe if you were in her life more, she would have given you something but you only show up when she dies. Like mother like son, huh?"

James made a move towards me but Noah pushed a hand into his chest to stop him in the same moment Folio and Nick stepped beside. Jolly remained behind me and the four of them boxed me in to protect me. Never in my life have I felt more cared for and looked after than this moment right here.

"Stay away from Y/N," Noah threatened.

"Or what?" James scoffed. "Is she worth all this trouble?"

"She's worth more than you'll ever know," he didn't miss a beat.

"There's nothing left for you here James. The house isn't worth anything and for the sake of our mom who's buried beneath your feet, leave me alone. You've been in my life for less than a week and it's been fucking miserable. Do me a favor and go back to Texas. I'd give anything never to see you again.," I said defeated.

Everything from the past week suddenly caught up to me and I wanted nothing more than to go back home and crawl into bed. Except my house was filled with people I didn't want there. The only ones I wanted were standing around me.

James gave us all a glare before spitting at Noah's feet and walking away while calling over his shoulder. "Careful what you wish for!"

I couldn't help but snicker at his words. "How ironic."

Noah's back tensed with anger as he watched James intently walk to his car before driving off. I placed a gentle hand on his back which caused him to look down at me. The fight we had was suddenly fleeting away from my mind and the only thing I wanted was to move past it; of course, after we talked about a few things. I wasn't ready to jump right back into a relationship but maybe take things slow.

"You didn't have to do that," I said.

He shrugged while stuffing his hands in his pants pockets. "Let us know if he bothers you again, alright?"

"Okay," I nodded.

Deep down, I had this gut wrenching feeling that this wasn't the last time I'd be seeing James.

Jolly motioned towards the car. "Ready to head back home?"

Home.

It sounded so weird. Going back home to a metaphorically empty house. After the wake, everyone would go back to their lives while I stayed stuck in the empty void of my life.

"Do you think anyone would noticed if I snuck upstairs into my room?" I asked as we all walked towards the car.

Nick laughed lightly. "It's whatever you want to do Y/N."

"I'd rather lounge on my couch and watch movies while eating my feelings away with pizza and ice cream."

"We can make that happen," Folio said once we reached the car.

I shook my head. "You guys don't have to stay. I bet you're all exhausted."

Noah, who remained quiet the entire walk to the car finally spoke. "We're not leaving you, angel. As long as you'll allow us, we're staying."

I knew he had more of a meaning behind those words than the others.

"Can you guys give us a minute?" Noah spoke to the others.

When they nodded, I let him lead me a few feet away so we could talk in private. My heart was thudding so loud in my chest I thought it would burst through like those face huggers in that one Alien movie. A part of me had an inkling idea of what he wanted to talk about and I wasn't sure if I was ready to have this conversation yet.

"I know this might not be the best time but I wanted to apologize; for everything."

"Noah-," I sighed.

"No," he interrupted. "I've already waited to long to apologize. I should have came after you that night you left but I was dealing with my own problems and issues and took it out on you; our relationship. It was wrong of me to say those hurtful things to you and bring up private parts of your life in front of anyone else. I'm an asshole and deserved that slap."

"Can I be honest?" I bit my lip.

When Noah nodded, I continued. "I was mad at you, furious, at first. I wanted nothing to do with you and I thought I'd be fine without you but seeing you here today made all of those feelings for you rush back in. The ones I felt when I first started to work for you. Through the darkness of my life the last week, you were a light I never thought I'd need. It sounds stupid, I know, but it's true. All of you guys showed up to be here for me when you didn't need too."

"Stop saying that, angel. You know we would do anything for you," Noah said.

"I know," I nodded. "Some might think I'm a pushover for what I'm about to say but I don't care; it's what I feel is right. I forgive you, Noah. Can you promise me one thing, though?"

Noah reached for my hand and linked our fingers together. "Anything."

"Promise me that if you have an issue about something dealing with me or my friendships with the guys, we'll talk about it like normal humans?"

"Deal. Now, can you promise to talk to me about things that are bothering you," he playfully shot back.

"Deal," I gave a soft smile.

I could practically see the weight lift off of Noah's shoulders but I still had more to say that could ultimately ruin everything.

"I also don't want to rush into this again. Would it be alright if maybe we take things slow? I've got some things I need to sort out with my mom's death and some things with my past. I'm not saying completely ignore each other but I think, for now, I just need some more space. I still want to see you but not officially. But I'm not saying to see other people cause that's not what I want. Unless you want to, then I guess that's fine. I don't want to make you wait for me. If that makes sense."

I was rambling, nervous that he wouldn't understand where I was coming from. Thankfully, Noah understood because he laid a soft kiss across each of my knuckles.

"Take all the time you need, angel. I can wait for years if I gotta," Noah smirked.

I playfully smacked his chest. "Cheeky, aren't we? Using your own lyrics as a pickup line?"

Noah began leading me back to his car with our still intertwined hands and winked at me. "Is it working?"

I bit down on my bottom lip to keep the grin away but ultimately failed; the grin breaking wide across my face.

We all loaded into the car and Noah began the short drive to my house, cutting through the usually quiet neighborhoods. Only this afternoon, it was lively and loud with families running from house to house as their children wore different arrays of costumes and clutched their buckets of candy.

"Oh, shit," I muttered. "I almost forgot it's Halloween."

October 31st. Halloween.

There was also something else about this day that rang loud bells in my mind but couldn't quite remember. I racked my brain trying to think as I saw Noah shift in his seat while he pulled the car to a stop in front of my house. Suddenly, what I was searching for slammed into me with such force that I had to lean my head against the headrest.

Fuck.

"Thank you for everything, Lana. I don't know how I would have done any of this without you. Truly, I owe you so much," I said while pulling away from our hug.

She cupped my cheek. "Dear, please call me if you need anything. Even if it's just to talk. I don't want you to go through this alone."

I glanced over my shoulder to where both Nick's were discussing what movie to watch while Jolly went about ordering the pizza. Noah was in the kitchen cleaning up the mess from the wake. Everyone had left awhile ago, Lana staying behind to keep me extra company. But as the afternoon wore on into the evening, I told her she should head home. She already spent so much time away from it, no need to stay away longer.

"I'm not alone, don't worry," I smiled while looking back at her.

She nodded behind me towards the guys. "They're good friends of yours, yeah?"

I nodded. "Yeah, they're starting too."

"And Mr. Sebastian?" She asked with a raised brow.

My cheeks warmed as I averted my gaze to my feet. "Just a friend."

Lana hummed. "For now."

With one final goodbye, I slowly shut the door behind her and instead of going into the living room, I followed the noises coming from the kitchen and saw Noah loading the last bit of dishes into the dishwasher before starting it. He wiped his hands on a rag before folding it nicely on the counter then looked out the window above the sink; the moonlight casting a bright shadow over his face. My breath caught in my throat at the sight of him, my core twitching with a hunger that needed to be fulfilled; soon.

"You didn't have to do that," I said.

Noah gave me a warm smile. "I'm kind of neat freak so it wasn't a big deal."

I pushed myself off of the wall I was leaning on and walked over to him, closing the distance.

"But it's your birthday," I whispered while looking up at him through my lashes.

"You remembered?" He asked, almost shocked.

"I almost forgot, with every going on today. So I'm sorry you had to spend your birthday at a funeral," I cringed.

It wasn't the ideal birthday, that's for sure.

"I spent it with you, to me it was the best birthday in a long time," Noah admitted with a smile.

"Well," I placed a hand on his chest. "I have to give you your present."

He heart beat wildly underneath my palm but his face never gave way to his nervous state as he simply raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah?"

I nodded. "This is a one-time thing, alright? I meant what I said earlier about taking things slow."

"If I remember correctly, you also said this was a one-time thing about the time I got you off by riding my thigh; now look at us," Noah murmured as he dipped his head towards mine.

My eyes doubled in size as I felt my cheeks warm when I remember that night at the Airbnb. It seemed so long ago, and I yearned to feel that release again with him.

"Maybe I should forget about giving you your present," I teased while taking a step back from him.

Noah's large hands grasped at my hips to yank me back into him, my hands sprawling over his chest.

"Don't tease me angel," he groaned, voice dropping dangerously low.

Licking my dry lips, I stood on the tips of my toes so I could reach him and ignoring the voices screaming at me to stop; I laid a soft kiss on his plump, waiting lips. Noah wasted no time in kissing me back, his one hand leaving my hip to tangle in my hair, tilting my head back so he could get better access to my mouth. Just like the first kiss we shared, electricity shot through my entire body, rendering me numb to his taste and touch. My tongue brushed over his bottom lip before I explored every inch of his mouth. His teeth scraped along my lips as he bit down on it while I pulled away, breathlessly.

"Happy birthday, Noah," I moaned before slipping out of his embrace.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #forced proximity #enemies to lovers #slow burn

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judasgot-it · 1 year

Note

Hi! Could I request ADA members with a s/o who stopped paying them so much attention because they decided that Kenji is their child now and that they'll protect him and show him tons of love? (Not sure if it's understandable so - s/o is playing with Kenji instead of spending time with (character))

I hope I got it right lol please beat me if I did

ADA members with a s/o who 'parents' Kenji (Atsushi, Dazai, Yosano, Ranpo)

Atsushi

You don't work at the ADA and being friends with the members is important to Atsushi considering they're his only family

So seeing you get along so well Kenji makes him happy - he sees him as a brother in some ways

But having him encroach on his time with you has made him a little jealous - he's working on it, but you come to the ADA to visit him not Kenji

So seeing how much time Kenji takes up? A little difficult to take up

You even say "where's my boy?" when referring to him

Excuse you? He's your boy

The orphanage did not help him when it came to relationship stuff like this. He is a little needy for your time - sue him, he just wants to be with his s/o

Will try to now avoid having the two of you meet up at the ADA or meet his coworkers so he can get as much time with you as possible (it doesn't work. they always find him.)

Dazai

He thought it was great at first

Tried to tease Kenji by pretending to be his dad

Would annoy Kunikida too

"Oh, sorry, my son needs help, I can't do paperwork right now. Maybe next time!"

Since you and Kenji are so close he'll try to make him do tasks he doesn't want to do - if Kenji is coming over then he will make that poor boy do any sort of housework he was too lazy to do

He is annoyed though when he has to act PG-13 around him because you would beat him otherwise

You also let him join your lunch dates occasionally along with Kyouka - it's just downstairs, why would you force those kids to pay for their meals?

You take them around the city too - Dazai is of course forced to join you

No point in arguing, he's basically forced to act like their dad for the day

At least he gets compliments for it

Yosano

She's really fond of Kenji - he's a sweetheart, an angel

So I feel like she would be pretty ok with being more friendly with him

Convinced you would hangout with Kenji when she's doing her "operations" since they might take a while

He would get you two to go on fun dates though - probably some cottage core stuff like picking fruit trees

It's mostly those two doing the picking while you come over and bring them water and snacks

She doesn't have the heart to be jealous about you giving a lot of time to Kenji

But she is very honest with her feelings if she starts to feel left out

She loves Kenji but she has her limits too

Ranpo

He definitely plays along with it

The man is childish as hell but I don't think he would get upset at something like this

If anything it's the perfect time to but into the situation and be annoying

He drags Kenji into pretending to be 10 and going to stores with the two of you so you can get good deals or free snacks (they're all for him)

It does lead to Kenji following him into his lunch dates with you though, which he hates because he can't ever let Kenji pay for himself since he's so young (childhood trauma is real)

He definitely plays up being a "fun dad" around him and Kyouka, especially when you're around

Convinced he's relieving the time he had with his parents before they died, so that's part of why he enjoys it so much

I'd do more but these guys are probably the most interesting for the prompt tbh !?

#bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #bungou stray dogs x reader #dazai x reader #dazai x you #yosano x reader #yosano x you #atsushi x reader #atsushi x you #ranpo x reader #ranpo x you

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amazinglyegg · 6 months

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hi!! i want to say i love ur blog sm. its amazing and one of my fav blogs.

i have a hc where sole picks up children’s toys, teddy bears, jangles the moon monkey, and giddy up buttercups while walking thru the wasteland looking for shaun. could u write a react for fo4 companions asking why they pick up “that junk” vs their reactions after finding out the reason why?

Thank you so much!! And this is the most adorable headcanon ever, I love it <3<3<3 I can only imagine how hard it'd be for Sole to constantly see all the toys they was planning to get Shaun for Christmas all broken down and rusted. Plus not even knowing if he's alive or if he would like any of them anymore... augh my heart </3

Companions react: Sole who collects toys for Shaun

Ada

She doesn't even bat an eye when Sole goes around picking up every toy they see

Sole probably only tells her the truth once they overhear Ada calling it scrap

After that Ada will make very sure she doesn't scrap any toys she finds and instead leaves them in a nice pile for Sole to sort through and keep any they want

Might even find it hard to scrap the toys Sole doesn't want (because they're too broken or unsalvagable)

She definitely gets wanting to keep something to remember someone by, and seeing Sole do this might just convince her to keep a transitional object that reminds her of Jackson

Cait

Cait immediately feels like crap for complaining so much

Not only because she kept complaining about Sole's habit, but she had definitely made comments on how dumb and boring the toys are in the past

She doesn't really get it since she's not a parent (and never wants to be), but she still feels like she should have realized it sooner

It also hits a bit close to home for her because she never really had many toys as a kid, so realizing Sole cares about Shaun so much they're constantly looking for trinkets for him is almost unreal to her

She'll probably not say much about it for that reason, too awkward and vaguely in disbelief that parents actually do that for their kids for her to make any comments

Codsworth

Oh he is SO supportive of Sole

Even before Sole tells him they're for Shaun he's pointing out how much Shaun would love them

Probably has Sole's Christmas list for Shaun still stored in his memory (because let's be honest Sole was definitely obsessing over their baby's first Christmas back in October) so he'll point out whenever they find a toy that was on the list

He'll probably go out of his way to grab any toys he sees for Shaun as well

Shaun's bedroom is going to be PACKED with toys before he even gets out of the Institute

Curie

Definitely more curious than frusturated with Sole picking up toys

Might push Sole too hard for an answer at first, but realizes her mistake and apologizes when Sole tells her the truth

I can imagine her having wildly different reactions on it, especially while she's getting used to emotions

One day she's going "but Shaun already has three blankets, no?" and the next day she's crying at the sight of a broken teddy bear

Grief is such a big emotion for Curie and she's so empathetic she's 100% going to be more weepy than Sole is a lot of the time

Danse

Sort of stuck when Sole tells him why they collect toys

On one hand it's his job to tell Sole to drop down the unnecessary stuff and travel light... but on the other hand... they're grieving

So as much as he wants to complain, he probably won't

He gets this is Sole's way of coping and whatnot but he's never been too good at empathy in general, so he won't really know what to say

He definitely won't bother Sole about it, but he will also just kinda ignore it

If him and Sole are close he might (rarely) bring them a toy in good condition he found (he's a scavenger at heart, of course he'll be looking for those things)

Deacon

Probably one of the most initially annoyed companions in this list

He hates kids and everything to do with them so before finding out he'd make plenty of half-jokes half-complaining jabs at how much the kids toys suck

Every time Sole picked up another toy Deacon's saying "Why did they have to make that face so weird?" "Did kids really play with this crap?" "If Santa got me THAT as a gift Christmas would be ruined forever!"

But once Sole tells him the truth he feels like a major asshole

He's another emotionally stunted man who won't know what to say!

He'll mostly ignore it and look the other way, but he'll also sometimes offer to carry the toys for Sole if their pack is too full

It's the least he can do after being so rude to them

Father

He definitely felt Something when Sole told him that fact (sympathy?? Longing?? Who knows)

The fact that he never left Sole's thoughts even while they were struggling to survive in the wastes means a lot to him (he has parent issues okay?)

Gets a bit weirded out if they still insist on gathering toys and giving them to synth Shaun

Like... he's a robot... he doesn't play with toys... why are you grieving me when I'm right here (he's also very emotionally stunted. Unsurprisingly)

Generally not too empathetic about it, and will definitely comment on it if Sole tries bringing dirty/broken toys into the Institute

Gage

Least likely to back down and apologize like the other companions after Sole admits the truth

Probably takes the realist approach of "There's toys everywhere... why can't you just wait until you actually find Shaun and then bring him to an old toy store or something?"

Will be a lot easier on them once he knows the truth though

It's just weird when they're surrounded by toys everywhere. They're literally in an amusement park. Can't Sole just bring Shaun there once they get him??

He's also a bit worried about Sole seeming like a softie, or trying to leave Nuka World once they get their kid back

A toy car or a deck of cards is fine, but you are NOT parading a five foot tall teddy bear around Nuka World. Gage will put his foot down for that one

Hancock

He'll probably only get annoyed with Sole's collection if it manages to get in the way of their work

He has always found childrens toys creepy... he's pretty thankful not many kids wander around Goodneighbor for that reason

Once he finds out the truth his demeanor will change from mild annoyance to "you know what? You do you"

He'll probably find an old tire or something and go "You think Shaun would like this??"

He doesn't know what kids like!! Especially old world kids. When he was a kid he would have been entertained for HOURS with just a stick... why wouldn't Shaun??

Either way, he lets Sole go do whatever they want to do. He won't judge as long as he doesn't have to look at Jangles for any longer than necessary

Maccready

Feels like a complete asshole for not connecting it together sooner

Childrens toys, missing child... how did he not SEE that

Hell, HE grabs little toys for Duncan every once in a while. Obviously he can't judge

He might be a tiny bit salty though

He's had to teach himself to not pick up every toy he thinks Duncan would want because he simply can't send them all to him, so seeing Sole constantly fawn over plushies and trinkets... just kinda hurts knowing he can't do the same at the moment

That being said if he finds something he wants to give to Duncan but can't, he'll give it to Sole instead

Ends up being a pretty good system for them both

Nick Valentine

Out of all of the companions he'd be best at emotional support

He'll sincerely apologizes for bugging Sole about the "junk" they've been lugging around and will reassure them that Shaun would love it

He still remembers which toys were popular at the time and will talk to Sole about it whenever they find one

Catch him and Sole repeating commercial jingles back and forth

He gives them a lot of space to grieve and never complains about all the toys once he finds out who they're for

He doesn't shy away from gently putting his foot down if Sole gets a bit ridiculous, but he does so very, very gently

Like "Hey, that teddy is in tatters. How about we find one that's a bit more... huggable?" or "Shaun doesn't need two Giddyup Buttercups, but if you're okay for it I know a little girl in Diamond City who's been begging for one all year"

Old Longfellow

Aw hell, why not?

Definitely empathizes with them

He feels bad for Sole once he learns the truth so he's perfectly happy to just shut up and let Sole do whatever they need to do to grieve

He's also not really a toy person so he doesn't get it

Like "you think your kid would like THAT??"

But whatever. Sole knows their own kid better than he knows them. If Shaun gets traumatized by seeing Jangles the moon monkey, that's Sole's fault

Piper

Likely to take an "aww, that's sweet" approach to things

Similar to Hancock in that she... doesn't really get it??

Like who needs all these old toys most people don't know how to play with?? Nat played with a rock and a loose piece of string when she was little and she was just fine

Tries to show enthusiasm but ends up going wayy off the mark

She grabs a Barbie doll and says "wouldn't Shaun like this?? He can... I don't know... brush her hair??"

"Shaun would love this!" "Piper that's a mechanical keyboard... with no computer" "Well maybe Shaun would like pretending to write stories!"

Preston

Straight up apologizes for being so harsh to Sole

He didn't need to be so rude about Sole picking up toys. It's their backpack, they can fill it with whatever they want

Appreciates what Sole's doing and will make sure the kids in any settlements don't touch Shaun's toys

He's pretty curious what a lot of toys actually do. He'll ask Sole things like "so do kids... just... sit on the Giddyup Buttercup? And do nothing else??"

Will offer to carry some toys or have caravans bring them back to settlements if they're too much for Sole to carry

X6-88

(assuming Sole's either keeping the toys for themself or wants to give them to synth!Shaun)

Doesn't get it

Father is right there?? Why are you grieving his childhood and focusing on a synth instead of being proud of his achievements??

Going into headcanon territory here but I assume the Institute probably makes toys for (the scientist's) kids to play with already

Not to mention the Institute is pretty anti-clutter, and Shaun doesn't "need" toys to begin with

He just can't wrap his head around why Sole feels the need to hoard a bunch of old broken toys when good ones are in the Institute already

If Sole just insists on keeping the toys in the old nursery he'll be a bit annoyed but won't show it (gotta respect the future director and all)

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thankshermin · 1 month

Text

About the Scene Where Dazai Tells Akutagawa “You got stronger“

...and some rambling about their relationship, featuring a few lines about Kyouka and Mori at some point.

I think about that scene a lot and the fact that it is not talked about is really bugging me off so I need to get some things out of my chest,, let’s gooo

CW: mentions of abuse

First of all, it is not equal to an apology. It simply is not. There is a high chance that Dazai probably didn’t even say it as an apology. He merely stated the fact that Akutagawa got stronger. What is more important about this scene is not what he said but rather how he said it.

Dazai has changed and he is still changing for the better. The way he looks at Akutagawa and praises him in that soft tone is not how would Dazai express his thoughts to Akutagawa in the mafia.

Now, for another matter about this scene; those words obviously meant a lot to Akutagawa but it doesn’t have to mean much, if anything, to him.

Dazai doesn’t apologize to him. He doesn’t mention anything about his treatment to Akutagawa and doesn’t acknowledge it. We don’t know for sure if he truly doesn’t regret it or if he does feel ashamed about it and decides against saying something.

Why was Dazai even that awful to Akutagawa, anyway?

Well, obviously not because he takes sadistic pleasure from hurting Akutagawa. He believed that if he didn't, Akutagawa couldn't survive in the mafia. Akutagawa turned out to be the mafias one of the strongest attackers, due to this. Was it necessary? Of course not. He was very abusive towards Akutagawa. Is it an explanation? Yes, it is. That is what Dazai thought he was supposed to do, and since he didn't have any direct subordinates he mentored; we can't really compare but there is this conversation he had with Odasaku;

“Ah, Akutagawa is a sword without a scabbard.” Dazai smiles slightly. “It won’t be long before he becomes the mafia’s most powerful ability user. However, someone needs to teach him how to keep his blade.” I am startled. I have never heard Dazai praise his subordinates so unreservedly. “Is he really that outstanding?” “When I first saw him in the slums, I shuddered. His talent is far above that of others. His ability is extremely destructive, and he is fairly stubborn himself. If left ignored, he would be at the mercy of his ability. It wouldn’t be long until he self-destructs.” Dazai has never taken the initiative to take in a subordinate, much less a starving youth in the slums. But Dazai seems to have his own plans.

This makes me sad because Dazai never disliked Akutagawa or thought he was weak. He always thought Akutagawa would be strong. But the thing is, Akutagawa doesn't know that. Dazai never made it clear to him. Kind of a shame he was a shitty teacher most of the time. Makes me wonder why Mori never said anything about it to Dazai. I am curious about lots of things about Mori and Dazai's relationship, to be honest. Dazai was always messed up but Mori messed him to a further point, whether he meant it or not. Dazai was also really mentally unstable when he was still in the mafia and couldn't bother trying to be gentle. Dazai is still not healed but he is doing a lot better in the ADA.

Back to Dazai never saying anything about it, that behavior itself is very weak on Dazai’s end. He desperately tries to change but there are just some things that he still can not work on. One of them is this. He has unfinished businesses with many people and one of them is Akutagawa. Maybe he can’t bring himself to show that vulnerability towards him, maybe he truly doesn’t think what he did was something he should be apologizing for, maybe he thinks apologizing could make it worse instead of fixing it, etc. etc. I can still count.

But there is one thing and it’s that Dazai doesn’t go out of his comfort zone in his relationships. I am not saying that he would return back to his old tendencies in time since that goes against all of his character trying to find his place in a better world but I’m just saying that Dazai probably finds it more convenient to treat Akutagawa the way he always did and even that little “you’ve gotten stronger” was a milestone for him.

Akutagawa really had the right to say fuck off to Dazai and his half-assed apology, he really did, but I believe that scene was as equally important on Dazai's end as it is on Akutagawa's side. It means something. It isn't supposed to fly over the viewers' heads.

Progress isn't linear and Dazai shows it in a very slow way. A lot of things get in his way. He sometimes struggles, but that's what makes it realistic. you know what they say; one step forward, two steps back.

What the larger part of the fandom refuses to understand is that Dazai is not on the polar end of something. He is very mixed in that part. He is not a pure angel and probably would be one of the worst people you could have ever met if he were a real person. But he is not the devil's respawn on Earth either. Most of y'all forget that he was a lost child who got guided by the worst possible person ever. (I really like Mori's character too but that's a different topic, he is still a terrible person) If he is trying to change and do better, I'm always going to be rooting for him.

There is this saying, you can't teach an old dog new tricks and I really want Dazai to prove this wrong. His words to Akutagawa were not his destination on this journey, it was more like a milestone.

Akutagawa is also showing development too and that is mostly thanks to Atsushi. I kind of doubt this but maybe Akutagawa understands the meaning of Dazai's words since he was also giving Kyouka a half-assed apology type of thing. Their situations are so similar that I don't need to say much about it.

Akutagawa has grown so much and he probably will continue to do that, but it doesn't erase his trauma, not really. Dazai really messed Akutagawa up. Even though it doesn't count as an apology, this shows that Akutagawa has come to terms with Dazai's abuse and his own treatment of Kyouka and he deserves a kudos for that. acknowledging that your mentor messed you up and also acknowledging that you traumatized someone takes an effort.

Akutagawa may have learned most of the cruel things he did from Dazai, but he has grown enough to realize that he is actually his own person.

Ending;

I like most bsd characters because of how real and how grey they are and the abuse circle/web is really well-written. I really do want to explore it better some other time. As I said, not everyone has the guts to come up to terms with the fact that they were abused, let alone that they were shitty to other people. Akutagawa and Dazai are really different characters on their own but their relationship shows that they truly are influenced by an upper power and even though they both individually have a long way to go, this scene of Dazai telling Akutagawa he got stronger does mean a lot than an interaction between them that lasted two seconds.

#bsd meta #bsd #bsd dazai #bsd akutagawa #bungou stray dogs #i actually love dazai but some things had to be said #bsd analysis

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semthescientist · 7 months

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so this is a part two to my lil entry and here i merely wanna talk about what actually clicked for me and how everything has changed since then. part one is right here (:

as i said before, it was until september of 2023 when i was on around the fifth or fourth day of my cruise did things begin to dawn on me. if you're familiar with 4d-barbie, (i believe her name is Ada), she has a google drive filled with book resources and some of them are already annotated (which came in clutch). well, actually before the cruise i had began reading the book One Truth, One Law: I Am, I Create by Erin Werley and i resonated with things so heavily. i kept reading bits and pieces of the book but also was determined to be present and just enjoy my cruise. as i read, i became so interested in the way Erin would have full blown conversations with I AM. especially the part where Erin told her husband and then was afraid if he'd judge her but I AM simply told her to relax and let it do the talking--and that's what happened!

so i'm sitting there and i'm like "yo! how cool is this!" and of course, it's explained how to do this yourself--how to really tune in and trust your own wonderful intuition. i wanted to do it because i didn't want to reread Erin's(I AM) answers to questions to form my own answers. i had my own specific questions and no one else could answer them for me besides me. so i put the book down and i asked my own question and trusted that the answer would come to me whenever; even if he didn't come now, it was bound to.

and i had fear...i feared if it would actually happen or not. sometimes i'd be tempted to look things up or keep rereading every answer given by I AM in Erin's book. i would kind of just do self-talk when that happened, i don't know how i got through that to be honest. i can't seem to remember. but what i do remember is the little deposits that would drop into my head randomly. i was lathering up in the shower and was like, "why would i hate my persona?" [persona, ego, Vanessa--all the same, i just like the word persona better!] and i kept going with that line of thinking, asking myself a series of questions like: wait...why do i think there's something wrong with her?

isn't the persona how i'd experience a multitude of things? things that don't necessarily exist to I AM?

and i realized i was onto something because i felt so expanded. like my heart began filling up...my chest began fluttering. i know you've felt that feeling before and that feeling always comes when you're listening to yourSelf. there wasn't much else i did after i realized this because a new way of thinking just took over me. i had so much love for everything...i mean literally everything. i started to question everything i read from others.

again, something a lot of realized masters would say is "you suffer because you think you are this body" and while that's true...it just didn't feel right in my soul. none of it felt right--at least not something to remember all of the time. i didn't feel like it had any sort of longevity and the only reason i felt that way was because it didn't feel loving enough. i really wanted to know what was so bad about taking this persona into consideration...what was so wrong about loving her and holding her hand? why did i have to become aware of what she was thinking/feeling and suddenly say "oh but that isn't Me! let her cry and whine, she isn't Me."

i go into depth about this here. it's just a diary entry so the beginning i had a different outlook on my persona than i do now, hence the different header titles.

the bottom line is i had no reason nor right to hate my persona. after all, she found Me again--she found her True Self so that has to count for something. i simply started to look at the world differently and realized that it was never about fighting anything. we all know there is no "out there" and all there is is consciousness but how many have you actually put that to the test? have you stopped fighting shadows? fighting the seeming opposite circumstances? if you know there's only the will of God (which is you), why do you keep fighting everything else? have you stopped fighting your persona's fear, Vanessa's doubts--belittling her because she can't believe in herself...not yet at least?

i quickly gathered that if i love Myself, then i would have to trust Myself. i know someone probably has the fear of going "out there" and falling asleep again--losing faith or going back to believing in the world. but that could never happen. why? because of trust. You have to trust yourSelf enough to know only your will is imposed. and what builds trust? action.

personally speaking, there was a circumstance that i'd been ignoring for the longest in the name of manifestation. but lately, i've realized that whatever can happen "out there" and not only do i not have to form an opinion on it but i can watch how it crumbles when i stand ten toes down in trusting myself. i can trust Myself so much to stand tall in what i prefer and watch as Self carries me up and over the seemingly opposed...and then i glance back and they were nothing but cardboard cutouts. like that scene in coraline where she walked away and the world started crumbling--'twas only because it never existed too.

i don't fight anymore because i know My will is only ever imposed. i know that when something dares to throw a punch, it won't connect because it has already disintegrated. and most of all, i know that i can care about whatever the hell i want. hey, if you don't care about being a realized master than cool--find something that makes your heart sing and you can't help but burst from the seams when you think of it. for me, it was shifting. (do not come for me about the terminology, human mode rn so i gotta put a label). i found that shit to be so cool and to be honest, it's helped me discover my sexuality too which is a bonus. but none of this could've ever happened if i didn't start operating out of love for my persona.

just think of it, everything you desperately want you'd need a persona to experience anyway. you can take this and make some shit shake, and really define what you want or no labels at all. you can fully be I AM and have zero needs or you can be I AM with a persona, or you can just be a persona! there's people who look to an outside god but their god is rooted in so much love!

like you know a lot more than you're giving yourself credit for and only if you'd be so determined to listen to yourSelf the way you've listened to others, then shit would really start clicking. everything is perfect in its likeness and it is because I AM is all-encompassing that everything is possible--even the things we think are "bad". i promise, every question you'd ever have there's an answer for it and it's within you. you can find what matters most to you--you'll know. it's a feeling of pure confidence that cannot be described, you'll move without thinking and take chances and do whatever else and it'll feel like you're under a trance. That is You. there is no other...fall in love with Yourself and your human form too because it's nothing but a vehicle to bring you back to Self. your persona's fears and doubts are nothing but an opportunity to rely on Yourself...to trust Yourself and i speak of the infinite You.

lol i'm sorry if this seems all over the place, i was just saying what was heavy on my heart. i've been feeling a lot of love for everything lately and i want somebody else to feel that too. i know this will reach the person who's looking for it. so because of that: hi hi! you've done well, my love.

also, one last thing. there were a couple of people who helped me come to this realization and i wanted to say thank you! heavenlythea here on tumblr, iam_love.co on instagram, and Betinho Massaro for his book Super Accelerated Living (dude's mad funny, like i legit would smile reading it) oh and Ada! she came in clutch with the resources and annotating! and really everyone else for simply existing. know that you are perfect because you exist and the only reason you can't shake Self is because You (the real you) knows you'll be just fine.

love you all!

#non dualism #spirituality #nonduality #loassumption #neville goddard #law of consciousness #realization #success story #love you all #quantum jumping #reality shifting #4dbarbie

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jojissalsa · 2 months

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here are some wips i'm desperately trying to finish! (if you're curious ;P)

✞ Vendetta Leon:

‪‪❤︎‬ Pretty When I Cry:

☆ summary: you find out leon cheated on you with ada, and with that comes denying him of any kinds of affection. until he takes matters into his own hands, leon knows how to fix his pretty girl ;)

You couldn't believe it when you found out, you knew Leon could get distant. But finding that stupid fucking teddy bear keychain that woman gave him was enough to start a fight between you two, let alone the date offer tucked inside. How sweet. You thought that was it, when it initially happened. A quick spat when you found it a couple days after he came home from that horrid mission, and then some makeup sex. God, you wished that was all it was. All it amounted to. That was until you saw the keychain again, for some odd reason. Even more odd when curiosity got the better of you, and you unzipped it again. Empty.

‪‪❤︎‬ And if you were my little girl:

☆ summary: you've never been close to your dad on a surface level way, or even in a deep way. but after he finds out some of your illicit activities, you guys share your deep, twisted ways <3

Leon’s been single for a while, and ugly girls like you have been ugly for a while. And he looks at you like an ugly girl. Tells you not to get tattoos, shit like that. Like it's still the 50s. Probably because that's the only time he could get pussy. That's why he treats you like shit, and why you and him are addicted to sex. It's all you do ever since you turned 18. And you clean up nice enough. But deep down you're still an ugly girl. What's that saying? Lipstick on a pig. That's really who you are.

❤︎ Anything you Like:

☆ summary: you're excited to meet your new stepdad, and he seems like a great guy. unlike you, who definitely has some issues. good thing leon has a fix for that ;)

Your mom finally got a new man. You're pretty happy about it, really because she is. You're not excited in the slightest to actually meet the guy, just because your mom is happy doesn't mean the guy isn't as bad as your dad. She didn't really learn her lesson after him, sure, she was smart enough to get a divorce, condemn him for all the shit he put you two through. but the damage was already done, honestly. At least the daddy issues make you cute? They don't. They make you so fucking depraved, and in a way it kinda concerns you. The porn you look at, the guys you fuck, you know it's probably some deep seated issues, but it doesn't make any of it less hot.

✿ Death Island Leon:

❤︎ Give you the world:

☆ summary: leon works way too hard, and of course the years of trauma still cause those pesky nightmares. thank god you're there for him, and you don't mind it at all.

“You don’t need to tell me, you know I just wanna help.” You sigh, your hand making lazy circles on his toned stomach. “You go through so much, too much if I’m being honest.” Leon chuckles, a pink hue starting to dust his cheeks. “Hey! I’m being serious. If it were up to me, I’d give you the whole world. You really deserve it, Leon..” You prop yourself up on your elbows, a puppy love look in your eyes that you know looks only a tad obsessive. Leon doesn’t answer for a moment, just letting his wide smile speak his mind as his hand comes up to cup your face, his thumb stroking your cheek. You sigh and nuzzle your cheek against his palm, your hand slowly making its way to the waistband of his sweats. “Can I? Wanna take your mind off it.” You murmur against his palm, that sweet look in your eyes making him blush even harder.

❤︎ Lipstick Stains:

☆ summary: it was small at first, but it's always the small things with leon. they always drive him crazy, eating away at the sane part of his brain and just making him wanna be around you all the time. maybe it's a side effect of marriage?

He was fine seeing it at first, seeing the smudges of your lipstick on the glasses that he’d clean in the sink or throwing away napkins colored the same rouge in certain spots. He’d just ignore the chill that’d run down his spine when the thought of that same rouge being trailed across his neck would pass. It's just lipstick, is he a teenager?

❆ Re4 Remake Leon:

❤︎ A Girl can Dream (Part 1)

☆ summary: you work closely with ada wong, and leon knows a thing or two about mercenaries. they love to cause trouble.

Leon knew you looked familiar, from the moment he saw you in line at boarding to the second you sat next to him. He also knew you could both feel something. Physical attraction? Nah, he would never get close to another woman like Ada, too many secrets. You on the other hand? You were dying at the chance to run into his arms like a giggling teenage girl, looking at the window as you absentmindedly twirl your hair on your finger. You really don’t wanna pay him much more attention, partly because he’s insanely distracting, mainly because you know he would reject you in a heartbeat. No way a guy like him is single, right? A girl can dream.

𖦹 Re2 Remake Leon:

❤︎ All Mine:

☆ summary: leon's affection has always been nice. but he also has the power to deprive you of it entirely. and when that happens, you can't help but go insane.

You don’t even know what really drives this affinity you have for him, sure, he is definitely a looker. No debate about that. You’d run in front of incoming traffic just to be near him. But why? He’s nice, funny, drives a nice car, you both have a lot in common. But there really is something about Leon Kennedy, that puppy faced freak, that really fucks with your brain chemistry. The way he touches you, it’s confident yet tender. Well, it was at first. It had that tinge of gentleness, like you were a gorgeous porcelain doll that deserved so much care, but he could be rough with you in the most enticing way possible. He would choke you ever so slightly just so he could kiss you deeper, feel your tongue against his, like he needed to remind you of who makes you shudder like that. It was addicting, having that kind of affection that made your brain all syrupy and nonfunctioning.

☁︎ Infinite Darkness Leon:

❤︎ Dangerous Game (Part 2):

☆ summary: now that you're settled in, it's your turn to babysit leon. and you're making it much more difficult to focus when you talk like that.

Suddenly you're getting an incoming call from Leon, and you're kicking yourself when you feel your face heat up. “Hey there, Agent Kennedy. Need anything from me?” There you go again, still not using his name. Such a tease. He tries not to roll his eyes when he notices your smug smirk already.

❤︎ A Girl can Dream (Part 2):

☆ summary: ada has taught you so well, you know when to give up and help leon out when he needs it. that doesn't mean you shouldn't get a reward for it though, right?

You repress a yelp as he pushes you against the desk, his face barely illuminated from the glow of the chandelier in the hallway. "Enough with the teasing," You nearly shiver at how stern he sounds, but you've always been good at poker faces. "I've got a job to do, and it'd be wonderful if you'd shut your mouth and help me out here." Leon's voice is hot against your neck, his large hands gripping your hips, keeping you against him. "And what do I get out of that? You gotta make it worth my time, Kennedy,"

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ please be patient with me as i finish these! life has been a rollercoaster lately, but making fanfics and writing about leon will always be a passion of mine, so it's not going anywhere anytime soon!

#my wips #wips #writing update #leon kennedy smut #leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy x y/n #leon kennedy #leon kennedy x fem reader #leon s kennedy x reader #leon resident evil #leon s kennedy #re leon #leon scott kennedy

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cenorii · 2 months

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And here we are again… RE9 theory

It's time for another theory! I'll be writing these right up until the release of RE9, so apologies if you're tired of speculation. I had a theory about this Wesker concept once before, but it came out too vague + I tied the concept to RE4R, but it never made it into the game. So here's a new theory that has captured my brain.

What if, this concept never belonged to re4r? What if it showed up in early development of re9? Let me explain.

Imagine that Wesker is alive in re9. You can imagine the importance of keeping such a news secret, because it is quite a shocking information for fans. If this is the main intrigue in re9, the game would lose it if information about Wesker leaked to the public. If you were the designers and developers, you wouldn't let such news get out of the organization any way. So, put yourself in the shoes of a Capcom employee? Let's move on.

Suddenly such an important detail is leaked by Wesker's voice actor and your intrigue risks becoming public, the game will lose half of its interest without keeping Wesker a secret. You, as a developer\designer need to solve something, somehow fix the situation so that no one will know about the return of this character in the new game.

Then you make a GENIAL decision, setting your sights on re4r, which is in the middle of development. You decide to add this Wesker design to re4r to ward off all suspicion and get out of the disadvantage. Well done, you succeeded in fooling the fandom, now everyone is convinced that this concept was originally made for re4r.

It would seem that everything is fine, no one will know the truth until the re9 release happens, but… Wesker's concept never showed up in re4r. That image is not inside the game or in the concept book. We, the players, are left to assume that this concept was trivially not intended for re4r.

To confirm this theory, I'll ask you to pay attention to a few details - the face (1), the hair (2) and the hand (3). 1. The face, to be honest, could be anything on these concepts, because they are made sometimes before the studio finds the right actor to give the appearance to the character. But I'm left wondering if his face here is taken from re5 and yet looks much older. If this was for re4r, wouldn't Wesker look younger? 2. His hairstyle deviates a lot from the usual style that every game has. Capcom couldn't change Wesker's hairstyle for the REMAKE of the game, because it's an important part of it. Changing his hairstyle is tantamount to removing his sunglasses. But that kind of hair is acceptable for a new game. I assume this is how his new style was planned for the future in which he is alive (?). If you've ever seen the "early" versions of re4r, you probably know that in them Wesker has that exact weird hairstyle, which Leon also has in the "hero" skin. I believe that when Capcom added the "hero" hairstyle to Wesker, they were trying to make him look even more like the concept to minimize information leaks among the staff.

3. In none of the games did Wesker suffer an arm injury. In Code Veronica, his hand was set on fire, but the wound is not serious and Wesker is able to heal his wounds in SECONDS. It doesn't make sense to emphasize his wound for a Code Veronica concept. It also doesn't make sense to do a wound for re4r, because in the original Wesker never left his chair at all, and in the remake he didn't get into any serious fights. This wound is something new that hasn't happened yet, but one day will. In all the games, Wesker heals any injuries quickly, but at the end of re5 he took too much damage, so he probably lost some of his strength, causing him to keep his wounds for a long time.

That's the kind of thoughts that visit me when I see this image but don't see it inside re4r. If it's a "discarded" concept, it too should appear officially, like Ada's concept for re8 that was never added to the game.

Thanks for reading, really looking forward to re9 to see how far I was from the truth. (Help me. I'm going crazy.)

#resident evil #rebhfun #ada wong #albert wesker #resident evil theory #resident evil 9 #resident evil 4

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sapphire-weapon · 7 months

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Leon, in the intro to RE4make:

"September 30, 1998. It's a day I'll never forget. The cop inside me died that day."

---

Officer 1: So, tell me, Yanqui. Why did you come to this horrible place? As close to nowhere as I've ever seen.

Leon: Let's just say... looking for someone.

Officer 1: That someone must be very important, eh? The Chief gave the orders himself. "Help him," he said.

Leon: I'm sure you boys didn't come all the way out here to roast marshmallows.

Officers 1 & 2: (laugh)

Leon: (annoyed) Maybe you did.

Officer 1: You have a strange sense of humor. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. Just between us. A lot of people have gone missing around here, and it's been that way for a while, now.

Leon: (still annoyed) Well, then. Should be just another day in the office, right?

Officer 1: Mmm... I mean, last week, there was a search for some missing hikers.

Leon: (sarcastically) I'm sure you'll do your best to help me.

Officer 1: (laughs)

[...]

Leon, much later in the scene: So much for helping me.

---

Leon, later in chapter 1:

(bitterly) "Gotta fix everything myself."

---

Leon tells Ada in RE2make that the reason why he went into law enforcement was to help people like Kendo and his daughter -- vulnerable people, good people, members of the community who are facing the worst moments of their life and need someone to help make it right.

And yet he says in the intro to RE4make that the cop inside him died that day. When we take that in context with what he told Ada about Kendo, what he means is that his desire to help people died that day. The belief that he could help people died that day.

His faith in humanity died that day.

Leon goes into his mission to save Ashley already expecting the two local officers that he's with to be completely fucking useless, and he gets immediately annoyed at the first hint that they are. His "So much for helping me" is said with a sense of "Why am I not surprised?"

He went into RE2make believing that people are generally good and that things will work themselves out.

He goes into RE4make believing that people are generally selfish and will take advantage of him, leaving him to work through any problem that arises on his own.

This is why he's so supremely pissed off at Ada when they meet back up again, and it's also why Ashley is so integral to his character arc. It's also why I've said in the past that Ada is a foil for Ashley in RE4make.

(NOTE: A foil is a character that is set up in the narrative to directly contrast with another one. Where one character is deficient, the foil character is strong, and vice versa. Where Ada is cold, Ashley is warm. Where Ada is physically capable, Ashley is defenseless. Where Ada is secretive, Ashley is honest. Where Ada is calculating, Ashley is impulsive. A foil does not necessarily exist to make one character seem better than the other; a foil exists to showcase two equals using a different approach and receiving different outcomes as a result.)

Ada is the genesis of Leon's cynicism. She's the reason why he expects less than nothing from people anymore -- the reason why he goes into every social interaction waiting to be screwed over. And she reinforces this throughout the narrative by trying to tear him down ("Leave the girl. She's lost no matter what.") or by keeping score ("Happy to help. Now you owe me.") -- which she takes even further in Separate Ways ("Don't worry, Leon. First time's free.").

In the six years since her initial betrayal, Leon has been forged into a weapon by the US government. The kind-hearted boy from RE2make who wanted to save the world now is more comfortable shoving a knife in the throat of an old woman than he is with carrying on small talk with people.

But weapons on their own are neither good nor bad. It's how they're used that determines that. Up until RE4make, Leon has been surrounded by extreme violence and senseless death (that's the point of changing Operation Javier btw), and he doesn't see a way in which his status as a weapon could possibly be used for good.

Until Ashley comes into his life.

If there was ever anyone who had a good reason to take Leon for granted and take advantage of him, it's Ashley -- but not only does she not do that, but she goes out of her way to make herself useful without expectation or strings attached. The only thing she ever asks for in return is a "thank you."

So, every time she gets that "thank you" -- every time she gets a real smile out of him -- she's returning pieces of his humanity to him. She's healing the hurts that Ada and the CIA inflicted on him so many years ago. She's showing him that there's still some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for. She's worth fighting for.

When Leon says: "This time, it has to be different..." he's not talking about his inability to save anyone in Raccoon City. That's a very surface-level interpretation. What he's referring to there is that Raccoon City destroyed his faith in humanity, ruined his image of himself, and poisoned his ability to create meaningful connections with people.

That's what has to be different this time. That's why the full line he says in the intro is: "If I could just forget what happened that night... the pain, even for a second... This time, it can be different. It has to."

RE2make took so much from him, but Ashley spent the entirety of RE4make giving so much of it back. But if she were to die in his arms in chapter 15, that hope and that healing would die with her. Her death would be a reaffirmation that everything that Leon wants or hopes for in this world isn't real, and that reality is nothing more than a series of random tragedies and chaos that results in suffering.

Ashley re-teaches him how to trust in people again, how to work as part of a team again, how to feel good about his own actions again. She teaches him how to hope again.

Ashley is the first person in six years to care about whether Leon gets or feels hurt by her actions. The most important line of dialogue spoken to Leon in the entire game is "Stay back! I might hurt you again..." as Ashley openly sobs over the mere thought of it.

Juxtapose that beside...

During the boat scene, Ada asks Leon in response to whether or not she's changed, after all of the damage she's already inflicted on him: "What do you think? Don't think too hard."

And so, in the ending, Leon answers: "I think we both know that this is where we go our separate ways."

Because, this time, things were different.

Because, this time, his partner was Ashley.

#resident evil 4 #leon kennedy #ashley graham #ada wong #meta analysis #i hope this makes sense it feels very disjointed #i might edit it some later for clarity #but i wanted to get this out

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alicerosejensen · 1 year

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Wicked games

summary: You feel that your feelings for Leon have already cooled down and you see only one way out of this situation - to break up with him.

Warning: nothing special. To be honest, this is a weakly restraining agnst and parting with a partner on the part of the reader.

Written to the song “ Wicked Games” by Parra For Cuva (feat. Anna Naklab)

"Sorry ladies but i'm one-woman man"

You thought that it was clearly not addressed to you. Be that as it may, and whatever relationship you had with Leon, for him it was clearly a temporary hobby. Just an attempt to brighten up time while waiting for the elusive woman in red.

On the one hand, it looks like jealousy, but on the other hand... you didn't feel anything.

There was no anger, resentment or disappointment. There was not an iota of jealousy. You thought this was a temporary phenomenon, because it happens when ardent feelings begin to dull. But more and more often you realized that you had burned out like a match, which quickly lit up with boundless (as you thought then) love and also quickly began to go out.

You became uncomfortable with his company and his attentions, which made you start avoiding your boyfriend constantly looking for different excuses. Help bestie? Urgent household chores? Did the roommate ask you to move the furniture? Did the hamster die? this is taking into account the fact that you have never had a hamster. Some of the excuses were so stupid that Leon raised his eyebrows to the top, sincerely not believing that the reason given was really serious enough not to go to an expensive restaurant with him.

And then you lied to him that you had a serious cold, so you'll stay with your parents for now. Leon just sighed heavily into the phone and muttered something like "okay." In fact, it was good. You breathed a sigh of relief as you threw the mobile phone on the bed, knowing full well that you were doing the most shitty thing with it. But you absolutely didn't want to bicker with him and start trying to dissuade him from following you (because if that had happened, Leon would have realized that there is no illness). The worst part is that you didn't feel any guilt about yourself. The feeling of wrongness - yes, it was present, but in order to muffle it, you repeatedly told yourself "He is also too often not around." Of course, it's all because of his work and Leon immediately warned that he was away from home for a long time, but then, inspired by love and those very hormones of happiness, it seemed to you that it was nothing.

Everything was so beautiful… The world seemed completely different. You loved that feeling of being in love, but now you have to wonder.

Did you love Leon?

You had amazing sex and aftercare. Leon was never rude (if only a little to maintain passion), and the rest of the time gentle and caring. He always kissed you deeply and sensually, making butterflies flutter in your stomach… and you were always there for him when he needed it so much.

Leon was ready to give his life for such love. For you. After all, he often just kissed you when you were cooking or sleeping, on the neck, forehead, cheeks… He likes your cheeks so much. Hugs were an integral part of this relationship, and for Leon they were of great value. Much more than sex.

He never forgot about you. Even in his sleep, he clung to you, as if he was afraid that you were about to disappear if he let you go. And for the first year and a half of the relationship, everything was fine with you. Dates, gifts, all this wonderful love... But love seems to really live for three years. In your case, just one and a half and another six months of useless attempts to convince yourself that you still love him.

Actually, part of you hoped that after meeting Ada Wong Leon again, he would remember about his feelings for this woman and you could calmly leave him, saying to yourself, "He hasn't loved me for a long time, or maybe he didn't love me at all." But fate plays evil games, especially with you. Leon confessed his devotion to you when you allegedly doubted the sincerity of his feelings.

“It's all right, my sweet girl... so good. Don't doubt me. I'm only with you and you're only mine...”

Leon whispered these sweet words to you while making love to you, not wild unrestrained sex. He kissed and stroked sensitive places, watching the reaction on your face, trying to convince you that no one else is interested in him. You and only you. Maybe he always came to you?

What used to make you bloom like a May rose now causes a burning sensation in your eyes and a heavy lump in your throat. Leon moved carefully covering every inch of your body with kisses, tasting you, and all you could think was what a bitch you are.

You lie to him in order not to meet him when he is ready to throw himself into the fire for you; you come up with various excuses so that he does not bother you, while he uses every free minute to be with you. And when you finally sob loudly from the overwhelming sense of guilt for your behavior, for the guilt that you no longer love him... it makes him stop and start calming you down. All Leon was thinking about was that he hurt you with a careless move or scared you because of the difference in your size. He pulled you to him, sitting you on his lap, imprinting random kisses on your face and shoulders, constantly apologizing to you.

But you should apologize. How can you deceive him?! But at the same time, if you tell him that the feelings have passed, won't it break his heart? Did Leon deserve it?

He took you to the bathroom, taking a shower with you, constantly asking if anything hurts you, hell, he even offered to go to the hospital if he suddenly hurt you with his passion, Leon didn't deserve the shit that you could pour on him. So you just lied...

Again.

Like you're such a stupid girl who was worried about his relationship with Ada. Pretend to be a fool... you're starting to do well. Leon scooped up your body in an harmful, putting you to sleep in a shared bed, repeating only one thing: he loves only you.

That's what you were starting to hate. And yourself and the part of him that loves you. In the end, he is called back to the devil in the middle of nowhere, and he reluctantly says goodbye to you, promising that he will solve this issue as soon as possible in order to return to you again. And you didn't want to admit it, but you felt it... easement. When the plane on which Leon left the country took off, it was as if your lungs were able to breathe deeply again.

Then the time of entertainment begins. No, you don't cheat on him with others, but if earlier it seemed wrong to you to have fun when your boyfriend is risking his life, now it is taken for granted. And yet is it right? Leon left you a little gift so that you wouldn't miss him too much, and tears flowed down your cheeks again clutching an expensive gold bracelet. The feeling was that as soon as you start accumulating strength for parting, something always knocks you down, not allowing you to do it.

The whole situation is tearing you to pieces, leaving skin and bones. Maybe if there was a replacement for Leon, the situation would not be so difficult? Maybe it would be easier for you to break up with him? But the trouble is that your heart does not feel any love feelings for anyone. Therefore, you are again engaged in self-deception, constantly telling yourself that feelings have just cooled down a little, but love has not passed. Just need to catch up. In fact, you still love Leon, this is an ordinary difficult period in a relationship.

You just have to look at joint photos more often, wear his gifts more often and not give up spending time together when he returns from missions.

But to hell with it.

Deceive yourself as much as you want, and the fucking butterflies in your stomach have all died out for a long time, leaving nothing. These fucking hormones of happiness no longer give you an intoxicating mood when you are ready to dump mountains for the sake of your beloved. And there is no attraction to Leon anymore: neither physical nor amorous.

In fact, there is nothing else but irritation.

You tried. Honestly tried to pull out of myself this affection for him again, but even Leon noticed these inept attempts to show his love. And more and more often he looked down, licking his lips, as if he had understood everything for a long time, but he was waiting Suddenly everything will still get better, because he loves you? You are like sun that warms him after meeting B.O.W. A person with whom he can lean his soul against his soul. Therefore, he does not abandon these useless attempts to regain what he has lost, because it cannot be that you made him feel love by allowing him to dream about himself, and then show heartlessness by pushing him away.

The world is breaking his heart again.

As if before that you carefully glued together the broken pieces of his heart, kissing every crack and scar on his soul. Gently stroked his head when he woke up from nightmares and you were better than any alcohol, allowing him to forget these horrors at least for a while. As an anesthetic with a pleasant aftereffect. Your love and care brought back to life that rookie cop full of dreams and hopes.

With you, he had the normal life of an ordinary civilian. Even for a short time. Like a warm cocoon that he liked to wrap himself in.

Actually, he liked the idea that he could even start a family with you. Buy a house somewhere in the suburbs, quietly marry you and make a baby Kennedy, and then live together until old age (if he lives to see her). Maybe the DSO could let him go from his position as an agent?

He could train newcomers, give them advice so that they could live a little longer, and return home to his family in the evening. Have dinner with homemade food, play with your child every now and then holding your eyes on family photos, and in the summer go on vacation from which no one else will pull him out. Leon even allowed himself to dream how you and his child are walking along the beach in a short summer dress and a cute hat, running merrily on the warm sand. And your baby is laughing loudly in his arms.

It was too perfect a life.

The life he had always dreamed of. The Life he was deprived of. The kind of life he wanted to risk building.

A dream that has remained a dream.

Leon knows that he is also partly to blame for this. You won't be nice by force, and everything he could do, he did. It's just that this fucking job takes away from her everything he values and loves. Loses a lot of good people, doesn't have time to save them and watches you wring your fingers in an attempt to hide your nervousness. Maybe if he could give it all up, not be away from you so much, then everything would be fine...

“Forgive me” - is all you can say because you're afraid to even look at him. Leon puts his glass on the counter, shaking its contents. As a medicine with which he himself will heal his wounds.

You know he doesn't deserve all this. No one should break his heart anymore, and you were sure that you would stay with him until the end, but something in the world ordered otherwise.

It would also be wrong to deceive him. Of the two evils, you have chosen the least, now watching the consequences of your choice. His dark blue eyes were full of sadness because of another breakup, and no one could tell what kind of hell was going on inside him right now. It's quiet outside. Inside, everything is torn apart.

It was a very wicked game, on your part, although he understands that your fault is not here. He never dreamed of falling in love with a girl like you. And yet it hurts. Leon walks around the table you're sitting at and just sits down next to you. He doesn't persuade to stay, he doesn't shout out words of love, he just squeezes out a smile.

"You should have loved me" but instead, he utters completely different words, allowing you to leave without any quarrel. It's like letting go of your palm for the last time from his hand.

“I understand.” - He looks at the bracelet that he gave you, which you are now returning to him, and Leon takes the jewelry from cold fingers to fasten it on your wrist. - “Keep it for yourself. I gave it to you. Take care of yourself, y/n”

No one is to blame for anything. He knows that you acted honestly and knows that there was no cheating.

But still, a forgotten glass of alcohol falls to the floor, shattering as soon as your footsteps die down outside the door.

“The girl is only gonna break you heart.” someone told him then. It didn't matter now.

Nobody loves no one.

#leon kennedy #leon scott kennedy #leon s kennedy #leon x reader #leon kennedy x reader #resident evil #leon kennedy x you #leon s kennedy x reader #resident evil x reader #reader #leon scott kennedy x reader #resident evil x you #agnst

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